Archive of Our Own ^beta

The air felt humid and the windows were fogging. Aziraphale would have laughed at being reminded of that scene from the Titanic film. But he couldn’t laugh. Because much like in that scene, he was too busy moaning his pleasure into Crowley’s delectable mouth. 

They must have been parked outside the bookshop for eternity. He didn’t want it to end. Those eager fingers teased at his clothed nipples just the way he liked it. Every pinch was an electric shock that ran down to his groin. It wasn’t enough. 

“Wanna go inside, angel?” Crowley huffed on his cheek.

Aziraphale frowned. “Inside?”

“Yeah, to your room. I think I remember a bed there.” Crowley grinned mischievously. 

Had it been his room at Crowley’s he would have said yes. But it wasn’t. It was no more than a cold storage room with a squeaky, rusted cot.

He scoffed. “Absolutely not.”

Crowley’s smirk fell and he began to draw away.

“That is to say,” Aziraphale rushed while pulling at his beau to come closer, “as awkward it is in here, the bed would probably collapse were we both on it.”

“You’re not embarrassed though, right? I’ve already seen it. You know I don’t care, right?”

Aziraphale was absolutely embarrassed, but more than that, Crowley deserved so much more than what Aziraphale had to offer. He deserved comfort and nice things. 

“I know,” he whispered anyway. “But it’s nice and warm in here, and cold in there. Anyway, I’m sure we’re both, ahem, fit to burst.”

Crowley groaned and dropped his head on Aziraphale’s shoulder. “Fuck, yes.” He lifted his head and licked his lips. “Mind if I…? Um… you know, touch myself?”

An involuntary whimper escaped Aziraphale. He swallowed.

You have to take things to the next step, old chap. Or he’ll grow bored and frustrated with your teasing. Kissing and some nipple play can’t go on forever.

Aziraphale worried at his lip. “What if… you, erm, we touch each other instead?” He felt his face heat when Crowley’s eyes widened, and then quickly amended his statement. “I mean, above our clothes.”

Crowley nodded eagerly. “Really? You certain? We don’t have to rush things.”

Things are going about as fast as a snail on holiday, dear boy.

Aziraphale tried to swallow again. He was being ridiculous. It’s not like they were doing anything too different from what they have already been doing. The lingering fear was mostly attached to not being able to give Crowley pleasure. Mucking it. If the man went soft under his hand, Aziraphale would be devastated.

Crowley sighed. “Let’s call it a night, angel–”

“No!” Before he would worry himself limp, he grabbed Crowley’s hand planted firmly on his lap. “I want to. I want this.”

Crowley stared at his hand in awe, then slowly began to massage the thick meat of his thigh. “Mm. You’ve gained some weight.”

Aziraphale suddenly felt cold. “Pardon,” he whispered. Crowley had wanted him to fill out more for health reasons, but was he too fat now?”

Crowley damn near purred. “I can finally grab onto something. One day, I’d like to bite into these.”

Sensing that Crowley had meant it as a compliment, Aziraphale relaxed again. That hand kneaded into his muscle deliciously. He let out a soft moan.

“That’s right. My good angel,” Crowley murmured. “Plumping up a bit just for me. You’re gorgeous whatever you weigh, but I have to admit that this extra cushion is sexy as hell. Good angel. Good boy.”

He shivered. His lust-filled mind temporarily agreed with the man. Crowley’s hand was inching closer to where he wanted it to go. With a jolt, he remembered he should be reciprocating. “May I touch you,” he husked. 

Crowley smiled. “I’d rather see to you first, but I won’t stop you.”

Apparently, Aziraphale was too eager to touch Crowley’s clothed cock for the first time. Yes, he’d felt it pressed up against him many times already. But now… now he was going to purposely wrap his hand around as much of it as possible through sinfully-tight trousers. Instead of landing on Crowley’s lap, his hand went for the kill without his permission.

Crowley gasped and then moaned so loud, Aziraphale thought he’d come right then and there. “Fuck, angel!”

“I’m sorry!” But he couldn’t pull away. His hand was paralyzed and his eyes could barely comprehend what they saw taking place, which was rubbing and caressing the hard length trapped in denim.

Crowley chuckled. “Well, if I forgive you for that, then you’ll have to forgive me for this…” Finally, Crowley splayed his palm over Aziraphale’s groin and pressed down firmly.

Aziraphale keened most embarrassingly. It had no right to feel that good. He was seeing stars already. He was so close already . 

Honestly, how many times are you going to embarrass yourself? 

“Please,” he whimpered as Crowley nipped at his jaw, slowly moving over his erection. Up and down. Up and down. It was sweet torture. He was on the brink of climax but it wasn’t enough. “Faster,” he breathed.

Crowley obeyed immediately. 

“Ah! Ah!” His own hand was still on Crowley but not doing a damn thing. It was like walking through molasses, but Aziraphale finally willed his hand to match Crowley’s speed.

It was the quick pace and Crowley’s deep groan that sent him over the edge, bucking his hips up into Crowley’s grip. Aziraphale’s noises always seemed so obscene to him, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t keep quiet. Crowley worked him through his orgasm with such fierceness that Aziraphale thought he was about to have an out-of-body experience. Before he came down from bliss completely, he felt Crowley use his other hand to cover Aziraphale’s and squeeze , while thrusting viciously into Aziraphale’s palm. In no time at all, Aziraphale felt his hand grow warm and damp while Crowley cursed through his own climax.

Look at that. He had to finish himself. How useless can you–

“Fuck that was amazing, angel! Holy fuck!” Crowley panted and had a wide grin plastered on his face. His head lolled towards Aziraphale. “Did you enjoy that?” There was a hint of concern that was being hidden valiantly.

“Oh, yes,” Aziraphale panted his answer. “That was fabulous.” He tried and failed to get his breath back to normal. “I’m sorry I didn’t do a thorough job…”

Crowley’s mouth fell open in shock. He spluttered a mess of sounds before thrusting his crotch into Aziraphale’s limp grip. “Thoroughly milked me, you did! Pretty sure I spurted my soul out through there! Psh! Thorough! God, Satan, angel, I don’t think I’ve come that hard in… ever!”

Aziraphale slapped Crowley’s shoulder. “So crude! Really!”

Crowley laughed. “Had to make a point.”

Aziraphale clicked his tongue and demurred. “It was just a bit of frottage,” he muttered with shame.

“Yeah! A bit of fantastic frottage that was better than any sex I’ve ever had!” Crowley stared at Aziraphale for a moment before pouting. “So it wasn’t as good for you?”

“Are you quite mad, dear boy?! Of course, it was!” 

“So? What’s the problem?” Crowley drew closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “Come’ere. Gimme a kiss.” Aziraphale happily complied. It was lazy and drawn out. When Crowley drew back, he gazed intently into Aziraphale’s eyes. He opened his mouth but seemed to think better of it. It was obvious he changed course. “I want you to be good for me and believe me when I say things. Especially when I say good things about you. When I compliment you. When I say how sexy you are–ah-ah! Look at me. Thank you. Can you at least try?”

Aziraphale could only nod his head. “Yes. Yes, I can try.” He did want to be good for Crowley. He wanted to please Crowley. There wasn’t much he could offer the man, but do as Crowley wished. And Crowley wished for him to believe in his words, then he was certainly going to try his best to do that. He liked it. Cherished it. Being told he was good, that he’d pleased Crowley in some way. 

He’d never been good enough for anyone else. This time, he had to get it right.

They sat there together, murmuring sweet nothings to one another when Crowley's brow furrowed. “You said it was cold in there. In your room. Do you not have heating?”

Damn his mouth to oblivion. “Erm, yes. I have a small electric heater.”

Crowley scowled further. “That’s not enough, angel. That room isn’t very insulated. Why don’t we go back to mine, hm?”

“Crowley!”

“What?! You’d be more comfortable and I’d feel better knowing you’re nice and warm.”

Aziraphale shook his head with a fond smile. “I’ve stayed five days in a row. And you brought me all the way here already.”

“So?”

“So… I might as well move in if you’re going to have me stay another night!”

Crowley’s grin was shark-like. “I wouldn't complain. You have a key, you know. Most of your favorite books are there.” He waggled his eyebrows like he’d said the sexiest thing in the world. “And… you’d have me there,” he added a bit timidly.

Aziraphale kissed the shyness away. “I know, darling.” He blushed. The new term of endearment still made them both smile like fools. “But we agreed not to go too fast. And I already paid–”

“Yes, yes, yes. I know. Alright.” Crowley pouted anyway.

Aziraphale cupped Crowley’s jaw and leaned in to kiss his nose. The pout was replaced with such incredulity that made Aziraphale laugh. “Will I see you tomorrow for breakfast?”

“You can bet your sexy arse on it.”

Rolling his eyes, Aziraphale chuckled as he kissed Crowley goodnight one more time before exiting the car. The drastic change in temperature made him shudder as he stood on the stoop of the entrance and waved goodbye, but he knew Crowley wouldn’t leave until he was safely inside.

It was late, but it was clear that no one was asleep. Tracy’s girls were on the clock and he sent a small prayer their way that they would have no issues with their clients. He said a small prayer for himself that he’d be able to sleep through the sounds of amorous activities as well. He did have work in the morning, after all.

Aziraphale made it to his room and turned on the light. It flickered before settling, and Aziraphale stood at his doorway in something of a shock. It had only been five days, but everything seemed so alien to him now. His small bed. His borrowed, ancient wheelchair. His open shower with the wobbly plastic chair. His crates where he kept most of his meager belongings.

It was a stark difference to his room at Crowley’s. Of course it was. He’d always known that, but now… as the chill of the room began to settle in his bones, it really hit home how vastly different he and his lover were. Could he call him that? His lover? They hadn’t actually had sex in the traditional sense. They hadn’t even bared themselves completely, least of all Aziraphale. And what was really the issue there? He trusted Crowley, didn’t he? Crowley had shown no signs of ill intent, or fickleness regarding their relationship.

Aziraphale made his way to his bed. He really needed a prosthetic soon. Hobbling around with his crutch and sitting for too long in his wheelchair was taking a toll on him physically and mentally. Thinking of that only made him feel guilty. Crowley had already made arrangements for it and it would be ready soon enough. Knowing Crowley it would be some state-of-art kind, which he was both excited and nervous about.

Aziraphale sighed as he sat on his bed, the poor thing dipping creaking under his weight. He wondered if his insomnia had something to do with the state of the mattress. Lumpy, noisy thing that it was. He most certainly knew most of his back aches were due to the damned thing. As Aziraphale began to remove his coat, he looked at his shower and cursed himself for not doing it at Crowley’s. There was no way he was going to catch pneumonia under the freezing, uneven spray. Oh, but those shower heads in his other room were divin e.

Why did he decide to leave again? His reasonings were suddenly falling short of reason. He quickly put the coat back on when the cold made its way deeper. His bones were already beginning to ache. No matter. He’d just turn the heater on and sleep in his clothes, like he used to.

He leaned toward the small electric furnace and turned the knob. It gave a loud pop and sparked. Aziraphale yelped and dove for the cord, quickly pulling it out of the outlet. A spark came from there as well. The foul electric burn smell filled his lungs and he began to cough. 

“Good lord!” He patted his chest and took some settling breaths. “Well… there goes that.”

He should call Crowley.

But he’s already left.

But if Crowley found him frozen to death, he’d be dreadfully upset.

You’ve slept through worse. You’re already taking enough as it is from him.

Tears threatened to well up, as his eyes began to burn. Crowley would want him to call. He pulled out his mobile with shaky hands…

You’re really going to do this? Make him drive all the way back here. It was your idea to come here in the first place!

His finger hovered over the call button when the phone suddenly rang and nearly vibrated out of his hands.

It’s him!

He answered, trying and failing to hide the anxiety that plagued him. “Hello, darling.” 

“Hiya, angel. How are you settling in?”

Aziraphale looked around the depressing room. “Erm, fine. Just… fine.”

“Oh… really?"

Lie you fool!

His shuddering breath probably gave him away regardless. “ Well , things could be better. My, uh, my heater exploded.”

“ WHAT?!”

Aziraphale jolted and removed the phone from his ear.

“Are you alright?!”

“Oh, yes, yes, of course. I’m fine. Just–”

“If you say tickety-boo, Aziraphale, I swear–”

“I’m miserable.” He couldn’t believe he’d actually said it.

There was a moment of silence before Crowley spoke. “So am I. Get in the car, angel. Let’s go home, yeah?”

“What?” Aziraphale looked around as if Crowley would materialize before him. “What do you mean? Are you still outside?”

“Mm yeah . I tried leaving, but it didn’t work out.” And then, in a softer voice, “I miss you already.”

Well, so much for holding back tears. “I’ll-I’ll be right out.” God, I love him. I love him! The emotion filled up his whole being and spilled out. “I love you so much, Crowley,” he sobbed.

Oh, good lord, man! On the phone? Really?!

The call went dead. Aziraphale looked at the screen. Crowley had hung up.

You really mucked it up now, you stupid man.

A loud and persistent knocking came from the front door. Aziraphale gasped and wiped at his tears, his heart soaring with hope. As quickly as he could, he made it to the door and pulled it open. There was Crowley, heaving and grinning wide. He threw his arms open and Aziraphale dove into them in turn.

“Look at me,” Crowley rasped while tilting Aziraphale’s chin up with a curled finger. Making sure Aziraphale held his gaze, he finally smiled again. “I love you too.” They kissed and held on to each other for an age before Crowley broke the kiss. “Now get in the blessed car and let’s go home .”

“Yes,” Aziraphale sniffled through a smile of his own. “Yes, let’s.”