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BEE MOVIE: The Last Jazz

Summary:

After things start to take a downfall in Barry and Vanessa's relationship, they decide to break up. Now, it's Barry's mission to help Ken get Vanessa back, try to find out what his mother did to his father and in meantime confess his feelings for one special bee...

Notes:

(See the end of the work for notes.)

Chapter 1: A Tragic Parting

Chapter Text

The sun was high in the sky, its rays pouring onto the patio where they ate.
'For you, my lady,' Barry offered out a cookie crumb that he had snatched from the plate in placed in the middle of the table they both sat at.
Hesitating slightly, his girlfriend reached out to take it from his stick hands, 'Thanks...honey.' she responded, wrinkling her nose when she noticed a glint of what she presumed to Barry's own saliva on the edge of the crumb.
She watched as her boyfriend's face soured, 'I told you not to call me that, Vanessa! Don't you remember the honey trial?'
'Oh, yes...' she answered vaguely, waving a dismissive hand over in his direction, 'Sorry...ho-Barry.'
'You said it again!'
'I said what again?'
'Honey! You called me honey!'
Vanessa rolled her eyes, 'Well! I corrected myself that time thank you very much!' she turned away from him, instead gazing out at the blossoming forest ahead.
She then diverted her gaze to streets below, bustling with people and cars (cars the Barry despised because they had once been carrying honey) and felt a tug of longing in her chest to be down there, having fun, instead of being stuck up here with Barry of all people. Except Barry's a bee and you know what you can do to bees? Yeah. Step on them. That would solve all her problems. But then again, she would not like to be charged with involuntary manslaughter, not today. Or any day, for that matter. Who said anything about it being involuntary anyway?
From next to her, Vanessa heard her boyfriend smacking the table in a rhythm-like pattern, and for a brief moment hoped that when she would turn around she would see Barry's head bashing against the table instead of his hand. Needless to say, she was disappointed when she spun round again.
Barry didn't even seem to acknowledge her, smacking his hands harder against the rattling table as if to drown out her voice, which she was not using. Sulkily, his girlfriend whipped her head back around, her eyes sharp and mouth downcurved in an angry frown.
He stopped bashing his hands down, 'So...' he began.
'So.' Vanessa repeated sharply.
The bee sighed in a way which meant he was going to speak a whole essay - because he was, 'Vanessa...Look, you...ngh, you just...I don't know! All you do is sulk. All. The. Time. And it's really hard for me because you know I'm going through a lot of stuff right now - the aftermath of the honey trial, the crippling thought that I could've wiped out the whole earth, having to earn my redemption from nearly crashing a plane...It's a lot of stuff.' he paused. 'I asked you a simple question - not to call me honey - but you still did!' he sounded aspirated now. 'And when I called you out for it, you just got all moody! Can't you see how depressed and lonely your unlawful attitude has made me?! Do you ever consider anyone else's feelings for once?!'
Vanessa lashed her body towards him, 'You're saying I'M the sulker here?! After you got mad at ME for using honey shampoo that your hive had produced?!'
'I didn't know it was my hive's!' he cried.
'We both know what the shampoo looks like, Barry! AND YOU KNOW THAT!'
Barry whimpered in response, 'Well, I didn't recognise it!'
'What do you mean you didn't recognise it?! You run the whole FUCKING company! Jazz and Co.!'
'Well they didn't tell me about the package design change!' her 'boyfriend' argued back angrily.
'Oh so you didn't know the about the design change on the 'Jazz or Jizz, it's a Whizz!' honey flavoured condoms I bought for us last Tuesday?!'
His eyes bulged out of his head, 'Vanessa-'
He was cut off, 'You know what?! It's over! We're done! You better get packing Bee man!'

Chapter 2: Barry Goes Home

Summary:

barry goes to stay at his parent's house because he got kicked out, stuff happens and eminem is there

Notes:

im back hello

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Barry lifted his arms shakily to the door before him. He took a deep breath, lasting three whole seconds, then knocked cautiously.

The bee was met with his mother’s usual happy face. ‘Oh, hey Barry, what you doin’ here with all that luggage?’

Barry shrugged, his face downcast, ‘Something…just came up.’

‘What came up dear?’

‘Uh…just some stuff. I-I’ll tell you later…’ he attempted to push past his mother, but she blocked his way.

‘No, Barry. Tell me now. Are you even capable of doing that? Jeez, this business is really getting in your head.’

‘But-’

‘No, Barry. You won’t be my crunchy little bear in a moment if you don’t tell me immediately. You wouldn’t want that, wouldn’t you? You wouldn’t want not be my little crispity cronch crotch period blood skrunkle bunny, would you?’

Barry weighed up the options. If he told his mother that they had broken up, she may cry, breakdown even. Might start babbling about the missed opportunity of making homemade furry…porn with Vanessa. But then again, was he mentally prepared to not be his mother’s little snuggle cuddle uwu butterfly?

Finally, he sighed, ‘I broke up with Vanessa.’ He cringed because he knew only too well that it had been Vanessa that had broken up with him but, give him some slack - his ego had already been body slammed by forty wrestlers simultaneously before.

‘What.’ Yikes.

‘Yeah…she was um…Getting on my nerves.’

‘In what way?’ his mother shrieked, voice cracking.

‘Uh…she, um,’ Barry cleared his throat, ‘Well…she compared my…um, you know, to a…a….’ tears pricked his eyes as he chocked out the last part, ‘small, decomposing cactus-’

He didn’t finish his sentence; his mother jumping up and pulling him into a tight embrace. She sobbed along with him, before pulling away.

‘Oh, my dear,’ she wiped her eye, ‘I understand how it feels.’

‘Yeah…thanks mum…’ he then took a step back, letting her words sink in, ‘wait…what?’

The other bee began thoughtfully, ‘Well…

‘It was…what? Five years, six years ago. And, and – you remember your father, right?’

Barry nodded eagerly.

Wait.

‘Hold on, of course I remember- ’

‘Yeah, yeah anyways – when Martin,’

Real name – okay.

‘When Martin and I were younger, we were – how do I put it – excited.’ She paused. ‘Curious. And well…we, Y’know, and he well…told me that mine looked like, a, a hot cross bun.’

Out of all the #cringe-worthy moments Barry had witnessed and heard…this wasn’t the worst, per say (the worst being the laundry man commenting on a suspicious amount of a ‘honey-like substance’ on Vanessa’s clothes), but it was up there.

 ‘Aha, great mum! When do I get to go inside? Haha!’ he coughed out.

His mother winked at him, ‘Oh come on in honey.’ She smiled warmly, opening up the door.

As soon as he stepped in he saw two men lounging on the sofa. His uncle – Uncle Carl and Eminem? Well, its not everyday you get to see a celebrity…cuddling with UNCLE CARL?

‘Um mum, care to explain.’ Barry gritted out.

‘Oh!’ she batted her eyelashes innocently, her smile wide. ‘They’re just…well…my, boyfriends!’

Boyfriends?!’ Barry repeated incredulously. ‘Wha-what about dad? Are you cheating on dad with Eminem and Uncle Carl?! I-Isn’t that INCEST?!’

‘Oh! Of course, it’s not incest, Barry. It’s Martin’s brother! Not mine! Hehe!’

‘Why are you referring to dad as Martin?! What did you fucking do to dad?!’ Barry shouted.

At that moment, he felt a sturdy pair of hands on his shoulders. The bee lashed his body around to see a (devilishly handsome) Eminem (don’t tell anybody Barry said that though) staring right back at him. Barry shrieked, squirming in his grasp, ‘Let – go!’

His hands pressed down harder (*winky face aha*), and Barry felt a pair off lips brushing against his ear, ‘His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy. There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti. He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready to drop bombs, but he keeps on forgettin' what he wrote down, the whole crowd goes so loud. He opens his mouth, but the words won't come out-’

‘FUCK OFF!’ Barry yelled, finally shoving off Eminem. ‘I’M GONNA FIND OUT WHAT-’

‘Noise complaints, Barry. You wouldn't want to annoy the neighbours, would you?’ His mother reminds him sweetly.

Her son bowed his head, ‘Right sorry…’ then continued quietly, ‘I’m gonna find out what has happened to dad…and in the meantime…stay safe, that’s all I’m gonna say.’ Barry stole one last glare at his mother before strutting upstairs.

‘What a baddie…’ Uncle Carl gasped in awe.

His mother, who was eyeing the stairs carefully, murmured, ‘Not for long, my highlighter. Not for long.’

Notes:

barry'll pull a james charles apology in the morning for shouting dont worry

Chapter 3: Plans

Summary:

adam and barry talk...owo

Notes:

hi

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

Once in his bedroom, Barry took the time to study the trail of his childhood that was left untouched his room -  the banjo in the corner that he had bought so he could make a love song for one of the teachers at his school; a sock strewn on the floor, still sticky with…honey; glow in the dark stars splattered across his ceiling. For a moment, the bee man felt at piece. Only for a moment though, as everything that had previously happened all came rushing back to him in a whirl of emotions. His father’s kindly face was juggled from the back of his memory when he remembered his mission; find out what happened to Martin Benson. Or what his mother had done to his father.

His sticky, icky, glowing, golden blood BOILED – like sardines…in an oven. He was GOING to get justice. He was GOING TO. HE HAD TO. His mother WOULDN’T get away with this. Then again, his was currently residing in his mother’s house so he could just go downstairs and…tie her up – but no, that isn’t badass enough. It was one thing Uncle Carl calling him a baddie (yes he had heard that), but it was another hearing Eminem call him that or even his own mother. That validation that he would receive would all be worth it in the end. Barry was just about to open up his laptop, fixing himself with a determined look before being jump scared with his ringtone – two trucks. He hoped his mother didn’t hear it – she didn’t deserve to hear such a song.

‘He-hey?’

‘Oh, hi Barry!’

‘Hi Adam,’ Barry responded, before pausing, ‘need anything…?’

‘Oh no! I just wanted to talk to you, that’s all, heh.’

Barry felt a blush rising to his cheeks. All he needed was that cute little ‘heh’ and…ugh! He shouldn’t be thinking about things. ‘Oh okay, that-that’s cool.’ he answered finally, trying to make his voice sound deeper…for no reason.

‘Well, what you doing then? Heard you’re at the hive again.’ The last few words sounded almost bitter, making Barry wince.

‘Oh, yeah, some, um, stuff…uh…came up. Anyways!’ he leaned back in his chair, his arms coming up to serve as a pillow for his head. ‘You asked what I was doing, right?’

‘Uh huh.’

‘Well!’ A smirk creeped up to his lips. ‘Glad you asked, Adam.’ That was attractive, right? Wasn’t it? IT WAS ATTRACTIVE.

He continued, ‘I’m currently…solving a case.’

He waited impatiently for a reaction out of Adam – of which he got eventually, ‘ What?’ he sucked a breath in.

‘Yeah. I know.’

‘Well – wh-what case is it?!’

Barry smiled, ‘Ah, about that…it’s,’ he lowered his voice to a whisper, ‘a secret.’

Once again, he waited for Adam’s inevitable reaction, ‘Really? Is the case that important?!’

He snorted, ‘Of course it is – they wouldn’t cast me for just some amateur case, no, no.’

‘Wow, impressive.’ Adam replied genuinely. ‘So…how’d this come about, then?’

His sticky, yellow blood ran cold. Oh no. He hadn’t thought this through. FUCK. Wait no – FREAK – swearing isn’t cool! ‘I um…they – the um…police force - contacted me after, Y’know, the whole honey trial thingy and asked for me to, uh, help up with the police and I was only really able to tell you now…’ he murmured sheepishly.

Cool.’

‘Yeah...It-it’s a pretty big deal.’ Barry bragged. ‘And I’m like this close to finding-’

‘Oh, sorry Barry I’ve gotta go!’

‘Wha-what?! Wait! Adam!’ was his kitten leaving that soon?

‘Sorry! I have to do something!’ there was a loud beep after the call ended, and Barry slouched in his chair. Of course, he had to go, he just didn’t wanna talk to his best and only friend (Barry made sure of that). He sighed loudly, debating on what to do next. Originally, the bee had decided on searching Jazzoogle for any answers on his father’s suspicious disappearance but realistically, he honestly couldn’t be bothered. He had business stuff to do – redesigning the packaging ‘Dribbly Strawberry Jam’ tampons and in the meantime think of a new name for the toiletry section on his website because ‘Stripes and Wipes’ ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH (apparently).

Business stuff aside, Barry had one thing to do; apologise to his mother. Why? Considering his was living in the same house as his mother, apologising would ‘relieve tension’ (or whatever the ‘Guide To a Loving Family’ book he had read said), therefore, he could carry out his investigation more efficiently and hopefully get some much-needed answers. Barry grinned to himself – oh, what a plan. Adam is gonna be so impressed! Not like he sought validation from him, anyway, but still…

Quietly, the bee trotted (rather like a pig, but don’t tell him that – he has a twitter account) downstairs, slightly jittery with a mix of nerves and excitement…? Wow, he was more of a mummy’s boy than he thought. He stalked into the kitchen and immediately was met with his mother, Uncle Carl (he still had to get used to that) and Eminem (and that as well) awkwardly spooning each other on the kitchen counter. Barry stifled a snort – they looked like dying sardines. Though, I suppose Barry wasn’t doing much better himself.

‘Um…mum?’

‘Oh, hi Barry.’ She responded sharply, sitting up, her eyes narrowed. Behind her, Uncle Carl made a noise of protest before rolling over and snuggling into Eminem. He swore he heard a quiet, ‘Good kitten,’ come from Eminem’s mouth, but maybe that was just him.

Barry leant on the kitchen counter, ‘Look, mum…I just wanted to say – I’m sorry. I-I shouldn’t have, owo, sorry…I shouldn’t have, uwu, I-I’m sorry that happens when I’m nervous…’ he cleared his throat. ‘Ahem, sorry – back on track hehe…I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said all those things about you and dad – I, owo, hope you can find it in you to accept my apology.’

Silence. Cold, yet thoughtful, silence. Then; his mother spoke, ‘It’s okay Barry – I’m sorry too.’ she smiled warmly but something in her eyes told Barry that something was amiss…

Notes:

this is a bit longer wow im finally writing ok

Chapter 4: Ken and his Terrible Life

Summary:

ken is such a softie uwu boy11!!!!!

Notes:

chapter of whcih Ken (Vanessa's) ex is depressed
sorry it's not that long lol i had no motivation

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

 

‘Kenneth!’

Mom! I told you to stop calling me that!’ Ken wined.

‘Yeah, yeah, whatever – it’s your name! You should like it!’

Ken rolled his eyes, ‘Yeah but Ken is cool and Kenneth is not cool.’ he pouted.

They were both standing in the kitchen, Mrs Bloome bent over the oven (what a dumpy), cooking what seemed to be some kind of…honey soup! GAH! Why did everything have to full circle back to that stupid ass shit-face bee man!

Mom!’ Ken exclaimed. ‘Are you cooking honey soup?!’

Mrs Bloome turned around to look at her son in the eyes, ‘Yes, why?’

‘Wha- WHAT DO YOU MEAN ‘YES, WHY?’?!’

Ouch. He sounded pained. Not Mrs Bloome’s problem, though. She turned back to her cooking pot, ‘After the whole planet almost dying or something, all honey is like – fifty percent off! Your dad’s raving about it,’ she snorted, ‘Oh his face…’ she said dreamily, ‘God, your dad’s so handsome-’

‘Thanks…mu-’ No! I have to be cool! ‘Thanks mom,’ he corrected himself, ‘but I don’t really want to know about your undying love for dad.’

Mrs Bloome chuckled, picking up a wooden spoon and beginning to stir, ‘Well that undying love is how you came about, sweetie.’

‘Oh, great not this again…’ Luckily, Ken was saved with Mr Bloome stalking through the doorway…OR SO HE THOUGHT.

‘Did somebody say sex?!’ his voice boomed; eyebrows raised suggestively. ‘Boy, doesn’t your mum and I like that!’ he turned to his son. ‘Hey Ken, do you want a baby sibling?’

‘No! No! No!’ Ken squawked, face twisted with disgust and overall nausea. ‘You-you’d probably record the baby making process and-’ his voice cracked, ‘show it to me! Like you did when I was just a poor, innocent nineteen-year-old boy!’ he ended in a sob.

Mr Bloome reached towards him to pat him on the back – Ken jerked away, ‘It’s okay, son…You needed to know what happens during sex…’ his voice was gentle, ‘I’m sure Vanessa would have appreciated your skills – when you too were together,’ Mr Bloome then paused, ‘wait – weren’t you guys getting back together?’

Very soon, Ken had left the house.

To go to the tennis courts, of course. Tennis was a time for self-reflection, he decided. When he and Vanessa had broken up, the Woody look-a-like (though, his head is more rectangle), Ken, had to move back to his parents as he was broke as…well….FREAK (NO swearing) and honestly he’d rather be homeless at this point.

Ken sulkily picked up his bat and started to swing it around. Obviously, Ken had nobody play tennis with because he himself admitted he was a loner so from the outside it looked like he was some schizophrenic weird slightly musty guy flailing his tennis bat around. That didn’t matter though, he thought to himself as he picked up a ball. I can just pretend this ball is Barry.

Speaking of Barry…Ken hadn’t heard of him in a LONG time. Naturally, he imagined that he was dead (or at least him hoped) but realistically, he probably was in prison for snorting to much pollen. The man snicked to himself at the thought of Barry with ‘thug life’ tattooed on his arm, but then was heavily reminded of his own tattoo which had an illustration of Vanessa on with the caption underneath of ‘My Angle Baby’. Goddamn it that STUPID bee!

Ken smirked to himself and swung the bat with all his might at the ball, envisioning Barry’s screams of pain. Apparently, he had hit Barry too hard (woah) and he was sent flying out the tennis court. So much for a game of tennis.

Very soon, Ken came back to the house.

Mr Bloome was serving up dinner as usual, Mrs Bloome seated opposite to Ken at the table. Ken’s phone buzzed with a notification. He practically screamed with joy – finally someone messaged him! Eagerly, he went to pick up his phone and-

‘Now, now, darling, I know you want to see your Pornhub notification but save that after dinner, okay?’ Mrs Bloome regarded him.

‘MOM! IT’S! NOT! PORNHUB!’ Ken yelled back at her angrily. Yet, he still put his phone down (like a good boy Vanessa would say).

‘It’s okay Kenneth! There’s no need to be embarrassed – don’t tell your father but we’re actually falling behind on rent because of my special triple deluxe subscription!’ Mrs Bloome giggled, sending a sweet smile his way.

Her son visibly shivered with disgust, ‘Okay mom.’

Luckily, Ken was saved by Mr Bloome coming into the dining room and dishing out the food…or so he thought.

‘Do someone mention Pornhub? Boy do I LOVE that!’

Ken sighed; this was gonna be a long night.

Notes:

sad minion meme

Notes:

well that was interesting