Chapter Text
"Finally...I thought we'd never get out of the gym today..."
"Oh man...I know...I swear if Hayami-san had called for one more receiving drill I was so gonna..."
"Ugh...volleyball makes me hungry..."
"Naka-chan...where are you going?"
The sound of my shoes crunching against the gravel in the road as I started jogging across the street to the market.
"I'm just gonna run over and grab some snacks...anybody want..."
"NAKANO!! LOOK..."
The engine roar.
The squeal of the tires.
The bright lights...and everything goes white...
Nakano sat bolt upright in bed, sweat pouring off her body as she cried out in fear, gasping for breath. The damn dream again.
It was the third time in two weeks she'd been jarred awake by this nightmare. And each time, it progressed further. This time, she saw the lights. Nakano rubbed her eyes, trying to force away the afterimage that seemed to linger even though the lights had only been in her head.
She knew what this meant. She knew it was getting worse. She gasped for air, trying to still her pounding heart. Damn, she thought, why the hell is this happening now? Barely one month into my first year of high school and already I have to deal with this crap. She focused her attention on her breathing, trying to calm herself. It's just the pressure of dealing with a new school, a new environment, she told herself, it will resolve itself once I've settled in.
Bullshit, she thought.
The door to her bedroom opened softly. "Naka-chan? Are you alright?"
Nakano sighed. "Yeah, onee-san, I'm okay. Just...just a bad dream."
Her sister sat beside her on the bed, her worried look obvious even in the dim light. "The same..."
"Yes, Amalie, the same one," Nakano said, a little annoyed. "It's nothing you can do anything about, okay? It's happened before, it will happen again. I got this. I'll be fine."
"Naka-chan, hey, I know this..."
"No, Ama, you don't. You don't know. You can't know. So please stop, okay?" Nakano lay back down on her bed. "Just let me get back to sleep, alright? I've got a long session tomorrow and I need to rest."
Amalie sighed. Her sister was right in one way...she really couldn't understand Nakano and what she was going through sometimes. But one thing she did know. This wasn't just about the accident. This was also about volleyball. And she knew that if they couldn't find a way for Nakano to continue improving, her sister would fall apart again.
"Look, kiddo, I may not know everything, but I know when you're stuck," Amalie said, shaking her sister slightly to make her open her eyes, "I've seen it before, you know? I know you know it too, so quit pretending there's nothing anyone can do to help!"
Nakano sat up again, her blue eyes sharp and angry. "How are you going to help me, nee-san? You don't play and neither does mom. Don't get me wrong...I'm grateful for everything you guys have done...but...but..." Nakano struggled to keep herself from yelling. "It's not enough anymore! I'm not improving! I can't get better if I can't work with people who really know how to play! And where am I going to find people willing to deal with me, huh? It's not like I have anything to offer them in return." Nakano looked away, her eyes beginning to fill with tears. Dammit, she thought, I hate this. So frigging weak.
"That's crap, Nakano, and you know it."
"I can't ask a team to take in a person who can't actually play in a game."
"Maybe you can't, but I can."
"What?"
Amalie stood up. "I'll meet you at Karasuno after school on Monday. I think I know someone who can help you."
Nakano looked at her older sister in confusion. "What are you talking about? Don't you have to be back at college on Monday? Mom will have a fit if you ditch."
"I'm in college now, it's not ditching, it's selective class attendance," Amalie gave her a sister a sweet smile, and Nakano snorted. "Seriously, let me see if I can set something up for Monday, and I'll introduce you to someone who might be able to help, okay? I still know some people at Karasuno." Amalie ruffled her sister's hair, and Nakano gently slapped her hand away. "Think you can go back to sleep? Do you need some water? Should I help you reposition your legs?"
Nakano sighed, "I'm good, Ama." She looked down. "Thanks. I know you're trying to help."
Amalie sighed. "Despite your best efforts, kiddo, you're really not alone. I know you feel that way...but Mom and I...we really do try, okay?"
"I wish Dad were home."
"I know, kiddo. We all do. Now get some sleep, okay?"
"'Night, Ama."
"Sleep well, Nakano."
After Amalie left, Nakano sighed again. She had no idea what her sister was up to, but whatever it was, she was pretty sure it wouldn't help. They just didn't understand. They never had. But, they loved her, and she was grateful for that. Nakano settled back down in her bed, and drifted back to sleep.
🏐🏐🏐
Nakano made her way slowly down the first-year hall of Karasuno High School. She'd really pushed it at her physical therapy session over the weekend, and then did extra personal training on Sunday. She'd hoped that if she could feel like she'd made some progress, it would stave off another occurrence of the nightmare, and it seemed to have helped. She'd been too exhausted to dream at all, as far as she could remember.
Unfortunately, she was now also too exhausted to trust her legs with a lot of walking. She knew her sister had something up her sleeve for this afternoon, so she had decided to save her strength for after school.
Which meant she was currently using her wheelchair as an actual wheelchair, instead of more like a walker as she usually did.
She'd learned early on that she had to move slowly with her wheelchair, whether she was sitting in it or not. As far as she was aware, she was the only first year student at Karasuno with a wheelchair, and unfortunately, that made her an instant "celebrity" as her mother liked to call it.
Instant freak show was often more how it felt to Nakano. Even a month in, she was still getting way more attention than she wanted. She'd learned early on that if she moved too fast with the chair, there was a whole cadre of people who assumed she was "faking" and would make her life hell. She'd dealt with that in middle school enough to know that it wasn't worth it. Slow and steady wins the race, right? So she moved at a reasonable pace and kept her head up, smiling. I am plenty used to being the freak show, Nakano thought, and chuckled to herself.
The one good thing about using her wheelchair as a chair is that it meant she could drape her jacket over the braces on her legs. She'd begged the school officials to allow her to wear a boys' uniform...or at least a full length skirt so she could keep the braces covered most of the time, but of course they gave her the same old tired lines about her needing to accept her disability and helping her classmates become more accepting and how if they made an exception for her they'd have to make one for everyone and blah blah blah.
More bullshit, Nakano thought.
At least her classmates were getting pretty accustomed to her. Almost all of the usual chatter had died down, except for those couple of idiots who simply had to poke fun at anyone different. She made it to the doorway of Class 1-4, just behind Tsukishima and Yamaguchi. Spotting the freckle-faced boy ahead of her, she knew he'd turn and offer to help.
"Good morning, Ogawa-san!"
Right on cue, she thought. She flashed him a smile. He's a nice guy. Shame his friend...is so...different.
"Morning, Yamaguchi-san!"
"Do you need any help?"
"Nope, I got this," Nakano replied cheerfully, wheeling herself into the room and parking her wheelchair against the back wall. Gathering her bag and jacket, she stood up and made her way over to her seat, in front of Yamaguchi. He remained standing, waiting, just in case she needed help. Tsukishima had already sat at the desk by the window, to the left of Yamaguchi's chair. Once Nakano had settled in, Yamaguchi took his seat. Tsukishima watched this little drama play out, feigning disinterest. He never quite understood why Tadashi seemed to be concerned with assisting her...from what he could see, she didn't need any help at all. If it were me, he thought, the last thing I'd want is someone hovering around trying to help me all the time. But then, she seems like the optimistic type, who sees the good in everything and everyone. He rolled his eyes and looked out the window. Whatever, he thought, at least she's not hyper aggressive about it like that damn shrimp Hinata. If I had to deal with that in class and at club, I think I'd go insane.
"Morning, Tsukishima-san," Nakano said. She always greeted him, since she greeted his friend. Plus, his reactions were always interesting. Today, it was a nod, his most common reply. Some days, she got a grimace (usually if she and Yamaguchi were being particularly chatty, or something was bugging him) and sometimes he simply ignored her (those were days he was usually really upset about something). He'd actually replied only once thus far, and Nakano still hadn't figured out what had made that day different from all the others. Tsukishima puzzled her, and Nakano did always enjoy trying to solve puzzles.
"You...uh...must have had a busy weekend..." Yamaguchi said.
Nakano smiled at him again. "Oh? How did you know that?"
Yamaguchi colored a little and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "W-Well...you actually rode in your chair today...usually you walk behind it...so I figured you must have had a lot going on this weekend and were kind of tired, you know?"
Nakano laughed. "Excellent deduction, Yamaguchi-san, you are correct. It was a busy weekend, and I have plans for this afternoon, so I figured I'd better take it a little easy during the first part of the day."
Yamaguchi smiled at her words of praise. He liked Ogawa's smile, and she was quick with it. When they'd all started class together, Yamaguchi had noticed the other students staring and whispering about the "girl with the broken legs." He imagined she must have dealt with her fair share of bullies, and he remembered how awful that could be. He was determined to be kind to her...though he was a little shy about just striking up a friendship with a girl. Tsukki, of course, didn't seem to care...but he'd not actually said anything about his attempts to befriend her either, so Yamaguchi just kept trying to be kind. As for Ogawa, she was nice, and somehow never seemed bothered by her classmates reactions to her. She always kept her head up, and smiled...even when he knew she had to be able to hear some of her classmates' comments.
"So are you doing something fun this afternoon...uh...i-if you don't mind my asking..."
Nakano chuckled. "Actually, I'm not sure what I'm doing...my sister won't tell me."
"Oh! Do you have a sister here at the school?"
"No, she graduated from Karasuno last year. She's in college now, but she came home for the weekend and insisted on staying an extra day to do something with me this afternoon."
"Wow, that's really nice. I hope it's a fun surprise!"
"Me too..."
Tsukishima clicked his tongue. "She's missing class for whatever it is, so hopefully it's more than just some 'fun'."
Nakano turned to face the blond, it was rare for him comment on her chats with Yamaguchi. She smiled. "I said the same thing Tsukishima-san, but she insisted. I guess whatever it is she has planned does indeed mean a lot to her." I know it does, she thought, but I just don't think it will help the way she hopes. Her smile faded a bit. Both boys noticed.
"Ogawa-san, are you al..." Yamaguchi began.
But at that moment, their teacher entered the room. "Good morning, class, let's prepare for the day..." she began. All three students turned to face the front, their morning conversation finished for now.
🏐🏐🏐
With classes finally over, Nakano made her way to the front gate, to find her sister Amalie already waiting for her.
She's really determined to try to help, Nakano thought. Well then, the least I can do is give it my best. I'm grateful to her for trying.
"Hey, onee-san! So...where to now?"
"Just follow me, kiddo. We're going to go see a friend of mine, and I think she'll be able to help you out."
Nakano and Amalie walked across the campus towards the gymnasiums, chatting about each other's day. Amalie confessed that she 'left for college' in the morning so their mom wouldn't know she was skipping classes for this. Nakano laughed, but then turned to her sister with a serious face.
"Ama...thanks for this. You really didn't have to..."
"Yeah, I kinda did, kiddo. I know it's been hard for you lately. I know you need more than Mom and I can do. You may not yet be ready to play full time, but you're ready to be back on the court."
Nakano only half heard her...the sounds of squeaking shoes and volleyballs hitting hard surfaces distracted her. They'd come to a stop in front of a gym where volleyball practice was underway. Through the half-open door, she could see several girls working...on a spiking drill maybe? Something like that...Nakano felt a curious twitch in her stomach.
Suddenly, her view of the practicing girls was blocked. A pretty young woman with short brown hair came out of the gym and greeted her sister.
"Ama-kun! So good to see you!" The two girls hugged.
"Yui, this is my sister, Nakano. Nakano, this is Michimiya Yui, captain of the Karasuno girls' volleyball team."
Nakano bowed. "A pleasure to meet you, Michimiya-senpai. Please, call me Nakano."
Michmiya smiled. "Hi, Nakano-chan! So nice to meet you!"
"So, Yui, my sister was a great volleyball player..." Amalie's voice faded as Nakano's attention was once again gripped by the girls practicing in the gym. She moved forward towards the door for a better view. Clearly Amalie was going to tell Michimiya the whole tale, whether she wanted her life history shared or not. Nakano didn't feel the need to hear the story again.
The girls in the gym, now without their captain, started slacking a bit. She watched as the spikes got a little slower, a little less powerful. Finally, one girl simply refused to take her turn, instead heading for the bench and some water. The rest of the team took that a signal to break as well, chattering about school, boys, and how exhausting the drills were. A pair of girls moved off to practice serving and receiving. She's not getting good extension there, Nakano thought about the girl who was serving. Her form is still kind of sloppy. Nakano felt her body twitch again - she wanted to go in and show the girl how to improve her serve. The girl receiving was really in trouble. She needs to drop her hips, Nakano thought, her body unconsciously beginning to move into the correct position. If I could just get in there, I could...
"We've never had a manager..." Nakano heard Yui say dimly.
Manager? But...look at their setter...Nakano was beginning to tremble, trying to stop herself from running in and grabbing the hands of the girl lazily setting the ball to herself. I...I can't...I can't play! If I was well, I could be on this team, and we could really do something! How...how can I possibly just limit myself to just being their manager? Dammit!
She suddenly turned to face the two older girls, bowing as deeply as she could without overbalancing herself on her braced legs.
"I'm sorry, Michimiya-senpai! I'm very sorry, but this just isn't going to be possible for me!"
"Nakano, what are you..." Amalie began.
Nakano looked up, her blue eyes sharp and piercing. "I can't just be a manager for a girls' team. I'd want to be on the court too much. I just know that it would end badly. I'd be far too critical of my teammates, because I'd want to be doing instead of just watching! I thank you both, especially, you Amalie, for everything...but I just don't think I can bear it!" She suddenly looked down, her strawberry blonde bangs covering her eyes so the other two girls would not see the tears forming there. "Eh-excuse me, please! Thank you again for the opportunity, Michimiya-senpai! I am so sorry!" Nakano moved to grab ahold of her chair.
"Nakano, wait!" Michimiya cried. She smiled at both of the Ogawa girls as they turned to her. "Please, don't be upset. I think I understand why you don't feel our club would be a good fit for you right now. " She put a hand on Nakano's shoulder. "Will you do me a favor?"
"What is it, Michimiya-senpai?"
"Can you come back tomorrow afternoon? I might be able to get you connected with the right club this time. Will you give it another chance?"
"O-of course. But I don't want to put you to any trou..."
Michimiya smiled gently. "It's no trouble. I'm just going to do what your sister did and talk to a friend who I think might be better able to help you than I can. We volleyball girls gotta help each other out, right?" She chuckled.
"Yui, thank you so much! I really appreciate it. Goodness knows I can't 'selectively not attend' any more classes this week! So thanks for looking out for my little sister." Amalie gave the brown-haired girl another hug.
"My pleasure Ama-senpai. Anything for you! And Nakano - I will see you tomorrow, okay?"
"You bet, Michimiya-senpai!"
🏐🏐🏐
The next day, Nakano once again made her way to the girls' volleyball gym after classes ended. Michimiya was waiting for her, and the two walked the short distance to another gym, where Nakano could hear the sounds of volleyball practice underway. But this time, the voices were a lot deeper. A handsome brown-haired young man waited outside the open gym doors.
"Hey Michimiya!" he called and smiled as the two ladies approached.
"Hey Daichi! Thanks for meeting us. Ogawa Nakano, meet Sawamura Daichi, captain of Karasuno's boys' volleyball team. I've told Daichi about your situation as your sister described it to me, more or less." She smiled at Nakano, and the girl knew instinctively that Michimiya had left out details that she felt might be too personal to share with the boy. Amalie did tend to be an over-sharer.
She bowed slightly and greeted the captain. "A pleasure to meet you, Sawamura-senpai. Thank you for taking time from your practice to talk with me."
"My pleasure, Ogawa. Michimiya tells me you want to get back into volleyball, but aren't yet ready to be on the court full time. I'm sorry if this is a sensitive subject, but I need to ask...do you have your doctor's permission to be involved in a sport at all?"
Nakano smiled. She'd packed a bag for yesterday with all her volleyball things, just in case things had worked out the way Amalie had hoped. Now she was glad she'd brought it with her again. She reached into her bag and drew out a folder, then offered it to Daichi. "Yes, of course, Sawamura-senpai. I have all of my doctor's information here, including my current physical therapy regimen, and his recommendations for participation in volleyball-style activities. He knows that I was a player in the past and fully supports my return to the sport as my condition improves. I've been in recovery from my accident for over two and a half years, with my last surgery being over a year ago. I pay strict attention to my doctors, Sawamura-senpai. I won't do anything that might jeopardize my overall recovery."
Daichi chuckled. "Wow...you are definitely prepared, Ogawa. And please, just call me Daichi. Sawamura-senpai is a bit of a mouthful."
"Then please call me Nakano, Daichi-san." Daichi smiled at her addition of the honorific. She seemed quite determined to make a good impression. He looked through the papers and exchanged a glance with Michimiya. They both could tell how much this seemed to mean to their underclassman. Nakano, meanwhile, couldn't help but steal a glance at the players behind Daichi. Woah, she thought as she watched a short young man execute a flawless receive. That's Nishinoya Yu from Chidoriyama! I'm sure of it! Damn, he's a great libero...
"...back to my girls. Good luck, Nakano!" Michimiya was headed off. Nakano waved. "Thank you again, Michimiya-senpai!"
"Thanks, Michimiya! See you later!" Daichi smiled at Nakano. "Michimiya told me about how you felt after seeing the girls team yesterday. You can't officially play on the boys team, naturally...but I also can't allow you to just be at our practices and distract them. If you're going to be part of the team, you need to be active and supportive of our guys. We have a manager at this time, but she's a third year and will be graduating, so you'd..."
Nakano started losing touch with Daichi's words as she watched the boys behind him continue practice. Several strong spikers, she noted, and...hey, that's Tsukishima...nice block. Something orange and blurry suddenly flew above the net, slamming down an insanely quick spike. What the hell? The boys erupted in praise and Nakano heard an adorable voice call out "One more!" She was shaking again. She needed to get inside that room. This was it.
She suddenly refocused on Daichi and bowed as low as her body could go.
"Daichi-san! Please! Please let me join the club! I'll be assistant manager, ball-girl, whatever you need. I'll get water, clean the floor, wash towels and jerseys! I know a lot about sports medicine and always carry my own medical kit so I can help any player who gets injured. I'll do anything. Just please let me join you for as much as I can do!"
Daichi laughed out loud. "Well, with a request like that, how can I say no?"
Nakano looked up and flashed him a brilliant smile. "Thank you, Captain!" Daichi laughed out loud again. "Now, here's the thing. It looks like your doctor recommends easing into this, so let's take things nice and slow, okay? I know our current manager will be happy for the help, and I want this to be productive for both you and our team. Ah, perfect timing! Shimizu Kiyoko, this is Ogawa Nakano. She's going to be joining us as assistant manager, if that's alright with you."
Nakano turned to see a beautiful third year approaching. Wow, she thought, she almost sparkles. Well, any worries you had about me distracting the boys are unfounded, Captain...with this girl in the room, no one will be paying attention to me. Nakano smiled. "I hope you'll allow me to help you, Shimizu-senpai!"
Kiyoko gave her a small smile. "It's just Kiyoko. May I call you Nakano?"
"Of course! Please do!"
"I'm so glad to have some help. These boys are a handful."
Daichi laughed aloud again. "You're right about that. Speaking of them, I'd better get back in there before things get out of hand." There had definitely been an increase in volume from the team. "Kiyoko, why don't you show Nakano the changing room and help her get situated. Do you have clothes you can change into for today, Nakano? Or would you prefer to just watch?"
"Oh no, Captain, I came prepared. I want to do whatever I can, starting today."
"Alright then. Why don't you change and warm up a bit and then join us in the gym when you're ready."
"Hai!"
Daichi headed back into the gym. Kiyoko turned to Nakano with a small frown. "Ummm...Nakano? I'm sorry to seem insensitive..." She glanced at the stairs leading up to the club rooms. Nakano chuckled. "Don't worry, Kiyoko, I can handle stairs. Jumping, not so much, unless I take the braces off." The two girls started towards the changing room, Nakano folding her wheelchair as she went. Once folded, it served as a pretty decent cane for negotiating the stairs.
"You can take them off?" Kiyoko looked amazed.
"Sure. That's why I'm here. Someday, they'll come off for good." Kiyoko noted the change in Nakano's blue eyes...they became sharper, more focused. "And when they do, I'm going to be ready." Kiyoko smiled gently, seemingly knowing those words were not really meant for her.
"Come on, let's get changed."
🏐🏐🏐
Twenty minutes later, dressed in sweatpants and a white tee shirt and with her strawberry blonde hair in a braid down her back, Nakano stepped into the boys' volleyball gym behind Kiyoko. She saw Daichi making his way over to join them, along with a sweet-looking silver-haired boy.
"Oh, I probably should warn you about..." Kiyoko began.
"KIYOKO! YOU LOOK...woah. Noya! Look! T-t-t-two!!!" A bald-headed fellow was running towards Kiyoko but suddenly stopped when he noticed Nakano. He was soon joined by Nishinoya.
"Wha-what? Kiyoko, did you find us another pretty manager?" Nishinoya exclaimed.
Suddenly all eyes were on the new girl in the room. Daichi tried to get everyone's attention, but to no avail.
"Oh wow, she is pretty."
"Daichi, is this a new..."
"Hey, Tsukki, isn't that Ogawa from our class?"
"Hey! A girl! Wow...she's tall for a girl! How tall are you?"
"Nakano?"
Nakano looked up as someone called her name. That voice...she looked up to see a familiar face capped by short raven-black hair. "Kageyama!" Nakano made her way towards the setter, and Kageyama jogged over to meet her. The two smiled at each other, fist bumping and then grasping hands to pull each other into a one-arm hug. It seemed like a ritual they had performed many times.
"Hey, Kageyama, how do you..."
"Well well well, what's this? Does the King have himself a Queen?" Tsukishima smirked as he called out Kageyama loudly. Kageyama growled at the use of his hated nickname. "Look, you jerkwad..." He stopped as he heard Nakano chuckle deep in her throat.
"Ah...now that's a name I haven't heard in a long while." Nakano looked up, and Kageyama stepped back. Her eyes were sharp. She turned to look at Tsukishima. I had no idea he'd recognized me, she thought. I wonder why he never said anything until now. "Yeah," she replied staring at Tsukishima, "I was the Queen. I can't quite claim that name again yet, but just you wait."
What was that all about, thought Tsukishima. I was just trying to piss off the King...she was the Queen? Does that mean they used to date? She can't claim that name again...yet? Is she here to try to win him back or something? What the hell? Tsukishima was puzzled...and what puzzled him even more is why he cared. He clicked his tongue and turned away.
Meanwhile Daichi had approached Nakano and Kageyama. "So, I guess you two know each other?"
"Yes, sir," Kageyama answered. "She went to middle school with me."
Daichi smiled. He felt it was good that Nakano would already have someone she knew on the team to help her get adjusted. "Gather 'round, everyone!" The rest of the boys jogged over and formed a semi-circle around Daichi and Nakano. "Guys, this is Ogawa Nakano. She's going to be joining us as an assistant to Kiyoko." Kageyama looked at Nakano with surprise. Why is she joining us, he thought. Why isn't she on the girls team?
Daichi stepped aside and invited Nakano to speak. "As the Captain said, my name is Ogawa Nakano, but please, call me Nakano. Some of you already know this, but for those who do not, I want you to be aware of something." She looked to Kiyoko, who brought the wheelchair over. "You'll sometimes see me in this wheelchair." Kageyama's eyes went wide. "And I also wear braces on my legs. I was in an accident a number of years ago, and I'm still learning to use my legs again. I was a volleyball player in middle school before that, and I want to be again. So I'm here to help out the team as much as I can, but I'm also here to train with you to help get my legs back to where they need to be. So...thank you for helping me! Please take care of me!" Nakano bowed low.
Nishinoya and the bald-headed fellow were crying. "Beautiful and strong! And so kind! The gods have blessed Karasuno!" Nakano looked at Daichi, who just shook his head and sighed.
"Tanaka, Nishinoya...you're gonna creep her out." The silver-haired fellow offered Nakano his hand. "Don't mind them, they really are harmless. I'm Sugawara Koshi, Vice-Captain. Just call me Suga." Nakano shook his hand as he proceeded to introduce the other boys.
"Wait a second...hold on here." A blond gentleman walked up. Suga turned to him and said "...and this is Coach Ukai."
"Ukai?" Nakano said with awe.
"He's the grandson of the famous Crazy Crow Coach."
"Thank you for allowing me to join the team, Coach!" Nakano bowed low again.
"Look here...you said your name is Ogawa Nakano, right?" Coach Ukai asked. Nakano nodded. "And you went to Kitagawa First, right?" Nakano nodded again. "Well I'll be damned!" Ukai muttered.
"You're the Queen of the Court!"