Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sirius: mary it’s sirius where ARE YOU???

Sirius: marlene gave me ur new number btw 👍🏼

Unknown Number: Turn around.

Sirius: mf ur not funny i jumped

Sirius: seriously where are you? we're all waiting outside the pleasure beach

Unknown Number: Pleasure beach? Doesn’t sound sexual at all.

Sirius: WHAT

Sirius: ok very funny can you hurry up please

Unknown Number: Sure thing.

Unkown Number: This pleasure beach sounds interesting. Not sure if I trust you though, considering I have no idea who the hell you are.

Sirius: ok ur not mary

Unknown Number: Took you that long to figure it out?

Unknown Number: I don't know who Mary is.

Sirius: HELL

Sirius: you’re rude

Unknown Number: So I’ve been told.

Sirius: who are you then??

Unknown Number: That will forever remain a mystery.

Sirius: righttttttt

Unknown Number: Let’s just say you shouldn’t be messaging this number.

Sirius: hit me where it hurts

Unknown Number: My deepest apologies.

Sirius: apology accepted

Sirius: now

Sirius: tell me who you are

Unknown Number: You won’t stop until I tell you, will you?

Sirius: nah

Sirius: I won’t

Unknown Number: You’re quite annoying, Sirius.

Sirius: likewise, wrong number

Unknown Number: Thanks.

Sirius: who. are. you.

Unknown Number: Why do you care?

Sirius: so i can save your contact

Sirius: i like annoying you already 

Sirius: it feels liberating

Unknown Number: Funny.

Unknown Number: I already told you, lose this number.

Sirius: i’ll get it out of you eventually

Sirius: anyway, can’t talk right now I’m in the sky

Sirius: quite literally, wind in my luscious hair and everything

Unknown Number: Don’t tell me you’re a wizard or something.

Sirius: wouldn’t that be cool, hey???

Sirius: but no, i’m on the pirate SHIP

Sirius: at the Pleasure beach, y’know???

Sirius: amusement park, rollercoasters, rides… the whole lot

Unknown Number: Now that sounds slightly less fun than what I was thinking of.

Sirius: hornyFuCK

Sirius: ok gtg this ride is gonna kill me

Unknown Number: Finally.

Unknown Number: Peace at last.

Sirius: ok i’m back

Sirius: bit whiplashed from the wind

Sirius: but i’m back

Unknown Number: Not you again.

Unknown Number: Was hoping your phone fell out your pocket and smashed. Lol.

Sirius: ?

Unknown Number: Hi!

Sirius: you cheeky fuck

Unknown Number: :D

Sirius: ur funny i suppose

Sirius: i like u

Unknown Number: You don’t even know me.

Sirius: i wonder why

Unknown Number: It is interesting…

Sirius: great now i have my best friend screaming down my ear

Sirius: why is this my life

Unknown Number: At the pleasure beach.

Unknown Number: You know… that’s ironic.

Sirius: har funny har

Sirius: we r on the Ghost train

Sirius: and my best friend is a fucking pussy

Sirius: also mary is now with us, if you wanted to know

Unknown Number: I don’t remember asking.

Sirius: fuck meeeeee

Unknown Number: I’m gay but I’ll pass, ta.

Unknown Number: But I will ask, where is this pleasure beach located exactly?

Sirius: that makes 2 of us

Sirius: also it’s skeggy

Unknown Number: Pardon?

Sirius: Skegness

Unknown Number: OH.

Unknown Number: Can’t say I’ve ever been.

Sirius: HELLO??????

Sirius: tbh it is a bit shit nowadays but still

Sirius: i like it here

Unknown Number: Your holidays must suck so bad.

Sirius: i take back what i said before

Sirius: i no longer like u

Unknown Number: Great.

Sirius: so you’ve NEVER been to skegness????

Unknown Number: Bit far out from where I grew up.

Sirius: makes sense

Sirius: where are you from?

Unknown Number: Wales.

Sirius: oh my godddddd

Sirius: i bet u sound SO sexy

Unknown Number: Do you often romanticise the Welsh accent?

Sirius: only yours 😉

Unknown Number: Behave yourself.

Unknown Number: You’ve never even heard me speak.

Sirius: i don’t have to hear you speak

Sirius: i just know

Sirius: do you speak Welsh as well?

Unknown Number: A little.

Sirius: give me something

Sirius: call me sexy

Unknown Number: I’m done talking to you now.

Sirius: oh PLEASEEEEEEE

Sirius: maybe i’ll leave u alone after

Unknown Number: Tempting.

Unknown Number: But no.

Sirius: you’re no fun

Sirius: oh HELL my phone is dying,….!..!.!.

Sirius: this is where we part ways for the night, wrong number

Sirius: but I’ll be back

Sirius: :D :D

Unknown Number: Oh, joy.

Sirius: try to sound more enthusiastic

Unknown Number: I’LL MISS YOU SOOOOO BAD. PLEASE HURRY BACK MY HEART IS ACHING WITHOUT YOU ALREADY

Unknown Number: Better?

Sirius: i just blushed

Sirius: much better..

Unknown Number: I didn’t mean it. Don’t flatter yourself.

Sirius: fuck You

Unknown Number: Fuck you right back.

[Marlene & James]

Marls: me and sirius are at maccies

James: oh good, I texted him

Marls: figured you did

Marls: his phone is dead

Marls: are you with Peter and Mary?

James: yes

James: although… we may have lost Regulus

Marls: he’s here!!

Marls: him and sirius are currently arguing over who gets the 20th nugget

Marls: and it’s Me

Marls: i stole it

James: HELP

James: i like u

Marls: just kissed u 😁

Marls: don’t tell ur boyfriend

Marls: who is yelling at me currently

Marls: over the ficking nugget

James: ur secret is safe with me babes

James: just slap him

Marls: HURRY OK i cant stand the bickering

Marls: they’re so fucking annoying when they’re together

James: i don’t disagree with you

James: ok ok we are on the way

James: order me a frappe will u

Marls: demanding

Marls: Reg has gone to order it

James: :,) he’s cute i love him

Marls: gross

Marls: i just threw up

James: good i hope u choked

James: ….. /j

James: love u

Marls: ur so nice

[James & Regulus]

Regulus: About to eat the cream off your frappe…

Regulus: 3…2…1

Regulus: I suggest you hurry up

James: I HATE YOU SO BAD

James: WE ARE NEARLY THERE OK

Regulus: Jesus

Regulus: Where the fuck are you walking from?

Regulus: The pleasure beach is LITERALLY next to Maccies

James: well done babe

James: pete needed something from the caravan

Regulus: Oh of course he did

Regulus: I miss you please hurry

James: you’re cute

Regulus: I try

James: we are outside

James: and I swear to fuck

James: if my frappe hasn’t got cream on

James: you’re sleeping on the sofa tonight

Regulus: Are you sure about that, sweetheart? ;)

James: shut the hell up

[Outnumbered]

salvepettigrew: goodnight guys!! 😁

oldmacdonald: night petey

milfdirect: goooooooodnight little freaks, ready to get absolutely smashed tomorrow

goodboywilson: now THAT I’m ready for

goodboywilson: canny wait

Regulus: James is asleep shut UP Sirius

Regulus: Turn your shitty music down

goodboywilson: you did not just call tom odell shit

Regulus: So what if I did

goodboywilson: don’t TOUCH him

milfdirect: TOM ODELL  😭😭😭

milfdirect: you kept that quiet sirius

salvepettigrew: I like him !!! He’s so good

goodboywilson: marlene shut up

goodboywilson: pete gets it

Regulus: Anyway turn it down

Regulus: Please.. 🙏🏼

goodboywilson: …

goodboywilson: fine

Regulus: Thank you

Regulus: Goodnight, friends

salvepettigrew: See you in the morning 😀

[Sirius & Unknown Number]

Sirius: goodnight, wrong number

Sirius: can’t wait to annoy you more tomorrow

Unknown Number: Goodnight, Sirius.

Unknown Number: And seeing as I can’t seem to get rid of you, call me John.

Sirius: oh god

Sirius: that’s an old man’s name

Unknown Number: RUDE.

Unknown Number: I’ll have you know I’m not an old man.

Sirius: i believe you

Unknown Number: Good.

Unknown Number: Now go to sleep.

Sirius: ok ok ok

Sirius: goodnight again, John

Sirius: :)

Chapter Text

[Remus & Lily]

Lils: Remus

Lils: John

Lils: Lupin

Lils: GET YOUR ASS ON SET

Lils: RIGHT NOW

Remus: CHRIST

Remus: I’m in my trailer.

Lils: ok should’ve checked there first

Lils: well in that case

Lils: I’ll shut up

Remus: Perfect.

Lils: can’t wait to kiss you later :,)

Lils: best part of this job

Remus: Can’t think of anything worse.

Remus: You’re so sick.

Remus: Anyway, thought you were shutting up?

Lils: förlåt vän

Remus: Fine, whatever. Apology accepted.

Remus: Now, if you’ll let me… I have to prepare for this upcoming scene.

Remus: And prepare for kissing you.

Remus: The second most annoying person I know.

Lils: i feel like i should be offended, but i’m not

Lils: OH WAIT….

Lils: second?

Remus: Sadly, you’ve been benched for now.

Remus: Depending on how today goes.

Lils: damn

Lils: so

Lils: who is number 1?

Remus: Some random person that got the wrong number.

Remus: Now he won’t leave me alone.

Remus: I don’t even know, don’t ask.

Lils: HELP

Lils: what’s his name??

Remus: Sirius.

Lils: ohhhhhh like the star

Lils: love it

Remus: Precisely.

Remus: He is funny though, I’ll give him that.

Lils: always a positive…

Lils: does he know who you are?

Remus: Nah.

Remus: Said my name was John.

Lils: PLEASE

Lils: that makes u sound like an old man, wolf john mcwolf

Remus: THAT’S WHAT HE SAID.

Remus: Also, never call me that again.

Lils: Sirius is just like me…

Lils: i like him already

Remus: SHUT UPPPPPPP.

Remus: You’re the bane of my entire existence, Lily Evans.

Lils: :,)

Lils: love you too my sweetie

Remus: Piss off.

Remus: Please… Love you. 

Lils: vi ses!

Lils: puss puss 😉😉😉

Remus: Get Cas to tell Gid I’m going home.

Remus: Because I just threw up my breakfast.

Lils: noted

[Sirius & John]

Sirius: good morning john 😁

John: Hello.

John: I’m at work.

John: This place is hell.

Sirius: on a scale from 1-10 how hellish

John: Solid 9.

John: Just reading through my lines.

Sirius: lines?

Sirius: are you an actor or something

John: Yes, I’m Remus Lupin.

Sirius: HAHAHAHAHA

Sirius: you’re funny as fuck

John: I know right.

John: But no, I was cast in a play.

Sirius: that sounds fun

John: Honestly, I love it!

John: But I have to kiss my best friend today for a scene.

John: She’s annoying, like you.

John: You might get on.

Sirius: ?

Sirius: you’re on thin ice john

John: How do I crack it?

Sirius: shush you

Sirius: i’m getting chippy breakfast !!!!

Sirius: sooooo happy, love the seaside so much

John: Jealous.

John: I love chippy.

Sirius: what do u normally get?

John: Fishcake and chips.

Sirius: SOLID

Sirius: fishcakes are so good

John: Finally, someone agrees with me.

Sirius: only hot people like fishcakes from the chippy

John: I agree.

John: And I have to admit, you’re not as annoying as you were yesterday.

Sirius: is that a compliment?

Sirius: because i’m blushing… maybe

John: Sure… let’s say it was a compliment.

Sirius: omg can’t breathe

John: ANYWAY.

John: I have to go now, sorry.

Sirius: good luck, you’ll smash it

Sirius: enjoy kissing ur bestie ;)

John: Oh my god.

John: Please shut up.

[Marauders ™]

prongs: get out the bathroom

prongs: sirius I need a piss

prongs: OH MY GOD

padfoot: how do u know it’s not pete in there

prongs: JUST HURRY UP

padfoot: piss outside

padfoot: my hair is more important

prongs: i am not kissing i nthe middle of a CARAVAN PARK

prongs: pissing**

prongs: for fuck sakes Padfoot I swear to god

wormtail: Kissing 😂

prongs: ok

prongs: where are you pete

prongs: because you’re not here

wormtail: OH

wormtail: I should’ve left a note on the fridge or something

padfoot: freak!

wormtail: Fuck off 

wormtail: I’m with Marlene and Mary!

wormtail: We’re at Weatherspoons

wormtail: I have a free refill for the coffee machine !!!!!!

prongs: and where was our invite?

padfoot: yeah… not cool man

wormtail: Don’t blame me

wormtail: You all sleep so deeply

prongs: okay so next time, push me off the bed

wormtail: 😂😂😂

padfoot: me reggie and prongs r getting chippy breakfast anyway

padfoot: sorry you’re not invited wormy

wormtail: Chippy for breakfast?

prongs: what’s wrong with that?

wormtail: Nothing at all… 😀

wormtail: Are we still on for Cheers tonight?

prongs: YES

padfoot: OH MY GOD

padfoot: YES YES YES

wormtail: LETS GO!!!!! 😁

padfoot: tell mary to text me so i have her number

wormtail: Of course!

[Sirius & John]

John: Okay.

John: You have to save me.

John: This place is ACTUALLY HELL.

Sirius: sorry can’t hear u

Sirius: on the 2p machine

Sirius 💘💞💗💖💕

John: Wow fuck you.

Sirius: love u johnny boo

John: GROSS.

John: What is it with people calling me strange nicknames today?

Sirius: idk love i’m just trying to win a squishy toy from this machine

Sirius: what else have you been called? 

John: Are you a child…

John: And the director person just called me Tiddlywinks.

Sirius: TIDDLYWINKS

Sirius: btw NO i’m not a kid

Sirius: i’m 21

John: I’m also 21.

John: Anyway, I would like to pass away.

John: Just kissed my best friend.

Sirius: oh no, who would i have the pleasure of annoying ????

John: Literally anyone else.

Sirius: ☹️☹️☹️

John: 😀😀😀

Sirius: OH FUCK YES

Sirius: won the squishy toy

Sirius: best day ever

John: Spare some of the best day ever for me.

Sirius: talking to me should be considered the best part of your day already

John: What makes you so sure?

Sirius: because i am ridiculously handsome and i’m so hilarious

John: First of all, I have no idea what you look like.

Sirius: a really hot person with long gorgeous hair and tattoos

John: I’m not listening.

John: Second of all… yes, you’re funny. But not that funny.

Sirius: wow…

Sirius: what crawled up ur ass today john

John: You did, you sod.

Sirius: that can be arranged

Sirius: ;)

John: I just jumped out my skin.

John: You’re the worst human being ever.

Sirius: ur dumb if u didn’t see that coming

John: Okay, you’re right.

Sirius: i’m always right

John: How does that feel?

Sirius: almost as liberating as annoying you

John: I hate you.

Sirius: ❤️❤️❤️

[Sirius & Mary]

Mary: what’s up sexy fucker

Mary: it’s mary ☝🏼

Sirius: keep talking like that and i’ll kiss you

Sirius: wink wink ;)

Mary: you’re insufferable

Sirius: and ur just too hot to handle

Sirius: pity i’m gay

Mary: we seem to have a lot in common

Mary: both so hot but so so gay

Sirius: shame because we would be unstoppable together… :,)

Mary: you got that right babes

Mary: sorry to sidetrack the sexy talk

Mary: but where are you

Sirius: uhhhhhh the arcade with the play area

Mary: you’re so helpful

Sirius: lose the attitude

Sirius: the one next to the ride that flings u into the sky in a ball

Mary: OKAY

Mary: we r on the way

Sirius: leave wormtail behind

Mary: naurrrrr

Mary: play nice

Sirius: i’ll try

Sirius: only because you said sexy love muffin

Mary: FUCK

Mary: just got goosebumps everywhere that name was so hot

Mary: please call it me again 

Sirius: it was wasn’t it my sexy love muffin 

Mary: yeahhhhh  😩

Mary: tbh I think we should go on that ride

Sirius: the one i just mentioned?

Mary: yep

Sirius: will you hold my hand?? ☹️

Mary: no

Sirius: ?

Mary: just imagine my tits when u close ur eyes ok

Sirius: HELLLLLLL

Sirius: yeah that… helps…

Sirius: oh ur so sick macdonald

Mary: ;)

Mary: alright we are here

Sirius: great /neg

Sirius: pls take prongs and regulus away from my eyesight

Sirius: before i scream

Mary: just pull your eyes out honestly

Mary: best solution

Sirius: didn’t think of that !!!

Sirius: thanks babes

Mary: anytime

[Outnumbered]

milfdirect: WHO RHE HELL STOLE MY CHOCOLATE SHAKE WITH SPRINKLES

milfdirect: ur all Litltle shits im out for blood

oldmacdonald: she’s not kidding guys

oldmacdonald: the vein in her head is popping like hell

milfdirect: FUCK OFF MARY 

milfdirect: if it’s u Sirius istg …

salvepettigrew: I’m playing ten pin with this random couple

salvepettigrew: Alice and Frank I think 😁

shitonit: MARLENEEEEEE

shitonit: yehehhh he’s gotntit

milfdirect: HELL

milfdirect: Sirius I will Kill YOU

milfdirect: WHERE ARE YOU

Regulus: He is with me and James ☝🏼

Regulus: Don’t worry I’ll hold him down

milfdirect: oh i could kiss you right now

milfdirect: you’re so Real

shitonit: Back the fuck off my man

Regulus: 😐😐😐

milfdirect: no james he

milfdirect: is so Sexy I want him

shitonit: WHAT THE FUCK 

Regulus: Marlene I’m waiting….

milfdirect: see… he wants me too

shitonit: UGHHHHHHHHH THIS IS GROSS

Regulus: For you to come and kill Sirius.

Regulus: He just spilled your shake all over me

shitonit: deserved honestly

goodboywilson: that shake was delightful

salvepettigrew: Glad you liked it!

oldmacdonald: ?

shitonit: ?

goodboywilson: thanks Pete !

milfdirect: i hate you all

[milfdirect has left the conversation]

Regulus: I’m all sticky 

Regulus: FUCK THIS 

Chapter Text

[Outnumbered]

goodboywilson : i habe samd in betwenen my toes

oldmacdonald : mmm midnidong Snakc

oldmacdonald : midnight

goodboywilson: whay the hell 😭😭😭😭

oldmacdonald : shhhhhhh 

goodboywilson : u ARE a FREAK

oldmacdonald : u lobeeeee mee

[salvepettigrew added Marlene]

Marlene: fanks peter

salvepettigrew : Can youuu believe that they played the Let’s Cheers To This album in CHEERS

salvepettigrew : I am still giggling to myself

salvepettigrew : So iconic

[Marlene changed their nickname to milfdirect]

milfdirect : FUCK

milfdirect : I KNOW!!!!!!

Regulus : Best SWS Album

milfdirect:  YESSSSSS

goodboywilson:  r u stoned Teggie

salvepettigrew: Who is Teggie ??

shitonit: REGGIEEEEEE!!!!

Regulus : Fuck off Sirius, I’m not stoned

Regulus : I just like to appreciate their best album.

goodboywilson : which is MADNESS

Regulus : You’re insane

goodboywilson: ok so are u brother

shitonit: WHO JSUT SCRMEED

Regulus: Marlene did you just kill Sirius

milfdirect: sadly no

Regulus: Damn…

goodboywilson: marry

goodboywilson: mary..!!

oldmacdonald: I SCEMWMAEE

oldmacdonald: FICkKKKKK

salvepettigrew: Mary are you okay?

goodboywilson: somethinng about Lily Evans postinf

goodboywilson: on ig

milfdirect: fuck she is Sooooo Hot

salvepettigrew: Doesn’t she live in London?

salvepettigrew: Why is she posting at 2:42am 😂😂

oldmacdonald: she postef earlier but i Saw Now

oldmacdonald: oh MY FODDDD she is SO GORGEOUS

oldmacdonald: 

oldmacdonald: she looka like a fairy 🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲🥲

milfdirect: I LIKE HER

oldmacdonald: BOG OFF !!!! *tracy beaker voice*

milfdirect: what the hell 

Regulus: I like Remus Lupin

Regulus: He’s hot as fuck

goodboywilson: more talk abiut remus pls

goodboywilson: but not fromt u regukus

Regulus: Fuck you

shitonit: sofa looking cozy toniggg REGULUS BLACK

Regulus: Get over yourself

shitonit: goyddsss

shitonit: GUYSSSSSS

shitonit: REGGIE JST KISSED ME

oldmacdonald: i feel sick..

oldmacdonald: from the… Lots of jäger bombs

goodboywilson: about 2 drown myslelf in the sea 🌊 why does my bestie dste my brother sO GROSOD

goodboywilson: wish wash the sound of the Wvaesss

milfdirect: i’ll help i sirius

milfdirect: u*

goodboywilson: suck my DICKS

milfdirect: u have more than 1???????

goodboywilson: dick*****

goodboywilson: jsut 1

Regulus: 🤨

Regulus: Why are me and Peter the only sober ones?

salvepettigrew: We are responsible!!

Regulus: Very true

shitonit: we will crakc u eventually

goodboywilson: lets go back to talkinh about remus lupin 😍😍😍

oldmacdonald: ****lily evans

goodboywilson: REMUS LUOPINNN

goodboywilson: he is soooo oretty

goodboywilson: ‘i am emotional….

goodboywilson: OH HELL ITS WET OUT HERE

goodboywilson: i thougjt my tears but rain

milfdirect: RAIN 🌧

oldmacdonald: TAKE COVER !!!!!

Regulus: Come on freak train

Regulus: Me and Pete will chaperone you all back to the caravan park.

salvepettigrew: 👍🏼

goodboywilson: rneuss wouldnt pussu out at thke rain

goodboywilson: rem up

goodboywilson: REMUS

[Sirius & John]

Sirius: HEY

Sirius: i may be potentialltly wet

Sirius: frim… the rain thar is

Sirius: and soooo so sandi

Sirius: sandy

John: What the hell.

Sirius: hiiiiii 🥰🥰🥰

Sirius: i am drunkwriggt now

Sirius: and higkh

John: How lovely.

John: Go to sleep, Sirius.

Sirius: but 😩

Sirius: u r akwle

Sirius: awake

John: And I’m enjoying the peace and quiet.

Sirius: BOOOOOOOOO

Sirius: so meanie 🥲

John: That’s me. :D

Sirius: did i mention beifre

Sirius: that i like Remus Lupin

Sirius: my friend was cryinf over lily and my brothef Sakd, HEY remus lupin is Hot

Sirius: lets talkaboug Remus then

Sirius: the i cried so much

John: Interesting.

John: No, you did not tell me.

John: Why did you cry?

John: Oh no, are you one of those crazy fans?

Sirius: NOOOOOO

Sirius: he soo so prettyyyy it makes me cry

John: I don’t see the hype.

Sirius: are h BLIND 🙄🙄🙄

Sirius: u

John: Funnily enough, I do have to wear glasses.

John: Is he hotter than you?

Sirius: offtttt no one is hotter than me

Sirius: think u need new glasdes

Sirius: eyes closing shit

Sirius: sooo tirdd

John: Make sure to take some paracetamol when you wake up.

John: Goodnight, Sirius.

John: Sleep well.

John: :)

[James & Regulus]

James: bed. cold.

James: where u

Regulus: Getting you some water

Regulus: Go to sleep, my love

James: but

James: i miss you

Regulus: Christ I’ve been gone 2 minutes

James: my heaft ached without u

Regulus: Awww, shame

James: just wanf to kisss you so bad

James: maybne other stuffs

Regulus: That’s just your dick talking

James: ;) ;) ;) ;)

Regulus: You’re drunk, James

James: AND

James: i and u

James: i want u

Regulus: NOT WITH MY BROTHER IN THE NEXT ROOM

James: FUCK

James: this

James: i am crying wth

Regulus: You are SO dramatic

James: no im homer

Regulus: ?

Regulus: Well… you kept that a secret

James: HORNY

James: fuck jjust KISS ME OLEASE

Regulus: WAIT A SECOND

Regulus: I AM COMING 

James: i love u wtfffffff

Regulus: I love you too

Regulus: I suppose

James: ubetter

[Marlene & Mary]

Marlene: u hungry?

Marlene: i’ve been awake for like an hour my stomach is RUMBLING

Marlene: fucking Ravenous me

Mary: literally laying in bed

Mary: thinking about greggs

Mary: my head is banging like FUCK

Marlene: oh my god Greggs

Marlene: need a Chicken Bake

Marlene: get up we r going Out

Mary: can’t u get it for me

Mary: when we get home i'll clean ur dorm 

Mary: wiggles eyebrows cutely

Marlene: nice try its already Clean

Marlene: get the fuck up

Mary: 😔😔😔

Marlene: COME ON

Mary: FINE

Mary: are the others awake next door

Marlene: i’d say reg and pete are awake

Marlene: sirius and james probs still passed out

Marlene: but if we r quick

Marlene: we won’t have to get them anything

Mary: just tripped putting my shoes on

Mary: marauders and regulus free morning sounding sooooo sexy

Marlene: mf are u Ok that was quite a trip

Marlene: caravan shook a Bit

Mary: i’m good

Mary: my head. is not

Marlene: i’ll kiss it better

Mary: awwww

Mary: blushing 😍😍

Marlene: i try not to gag while typing that but

Marlene: did not Work

Mary: did u choke

Marlene: lil bit yeah

Mary: good

Marlene: fuck u

Marlene: HURRY UP

Mary: YES YES OK

[Sirius & John]

John: Good morning!

John: How’s your head?

Sirius: …

Sirius: fine?

Sirius: why r u messaging me first

Sirius: oh fuck

John: You scrolled up yet?

Sirius: shut the hell up

Sirius: that wasn’t me……. think someone stole my phone

Sirius: yeah.. deffo wasn’t me

John: Sure.

John: So, Remus Lupin makes you cry with his beauty, eh?

Sirius: SHUT UPPPP

Sirius: did you wait for me to wake up so you could interrogate me?

John: Maybe, lol.

Sirius: i lied

John: Yeah?

Sirius: …

Sirius: was the weed

John: And the alcohol?

Sirius: see!!

Sirius: u get it

John: Oh, of course.

John: I also cry over actors in my spare time.

Sirius: JEFJCJEFKWDKW

Sirius: stop taking the piss

John: Andrew Garfield is just so sexy.

John: Brings a tear to my eye every time I think about him.

Sirius: ur extra annoying today

John: You seem to bring it out of me. 

Sirius: who spat in your morning coffee

John: Your mum.

Sirius: ….

Sirius: i believe you funnily enough

John: HAHAHA.

John: I met him you know.

Sirius: REMUS LUPIN?

John: Gross, not him.

John: Andrew Garfield.

Sirius: WHAT

Sirius: HOW

John: We went for coffee together.

Sirius: oh my god

John: Lol no, just at a movie premiere.

John: Was very rushed.

Sirius: so you ARE a fan

John: Maybe.

John: Anyway, I have a meeting to get to.

John: Hope your head is okay.

Sirius: cheers

Sirius: i’ll miss u wrong number

John: Likewise.

Sirius: 🥺🥺🥺

John: Joking. 🙃

Sirius: damn…….

Sirius: asshole

[Marauders ™]

wormtail: I need food

wormtail: Who is coming with me

padfoot: ME

padfoot: i. am. so. hungry.

padfoot: i need

padfoot: lots of scran

padfoot: maccies, kfc, ice cream, sweets, chocolate

wormtail: Oh fuck yeah

wormtail: I just moaned out loud

padfoot: no same

prongs: …

prongs: me and reg have plans for today so you’re both on your own

padfoot: thank fuck get him away from me

prongs: 😳

prongs: ANYWAY

prongs: i’ll let the girls know and we can regroup tonight for tea tonight?

wormtail: Sounds good!

padfoot: ok

prongs: any tea ideas

wormtail: CHINESE BUFFET

padfoot: YEAHHHHHHH BABY

padfoot: wormy just kissed u through the wall

wormtail: Aw  😊

prongs: the buffet on the seafront?

wormtail: Yeah!!

prongs: okay!

prongs: oh and guys

prongs: don’t leave packing until the last minute

prongs: we leave tomorrow

padfoot: yes daddy

prongs: shut the fuck up

wormtail: I’m already packed 😊

prongs: knew i preferred you for a reason pete

padfoot: ?????

prongs: ok see you both tonight

padfoot: peace at last

wormtail: Come on pads

wormtail: Food awaits

padfoot: shit ur still here 🙄

wormtail: Okay, rude

padfoot: kidding my sweet little friend

padfoot: i’m getting ready now

wormtail: 👍🏼

Chapter Text

[Peter & Sirius]

Pete: What did you want again?

Sirius: u know u could just come back and ask

Pete: But my place in the queue

Pete: ☹️☹️☹️

Sirius: boneless banquet

Sirius: gravy

Sirius: 4 hot wings

Sirius: do i need to repeat myself a third time?

Pete: No

Pete: Shut the fuck up

Sirius: dirty mouth

Pete: 😐

Pete: Okay, everything is ordered

Sirius: k i’m so hungry

Pete: just waiting now

Sirius: love u so much 😁😩💓

Sirius: my little friend peter

Pete: Okayyyyy

Pete: Lay off

Pete: But…. love you too

Sirius: oh boy

Sirius: u have me blushing over here

Pete: Gay

Sirius: for u

Sirius: yes

Pete: Not interested pet

Sirius: PET

Sirius: owch 💔💔💔

Sirius: 69 was called out 😭😭😭

Pete: You’re SUCH a child

Pete: That was ours

Pete: Give me a sec

Sirius: LMAOOOOOO

Sirius: can’t breathe

Pete: Such a shame

Sirius: 🤨🤨🤨

[3’s A Crowd]

Lily: tell me it’s a lie

Lily: tell me Gid was joking

Remus: I hope he’s not.

Cas: can’t do this anymore

Cas: end of an era

Lily: literally just choked on my tears

Lily: WHYYYYYY

Cas: remus getting killed off wtf

Remus: Finally. 😩

Lily: OI

Lily: I AM SO UPSET

Lily: why do i feel like you are celebrating in your trailer rn

Remus: You’d be right.

Remus: Partying till the sun goes down.  🎉🥳🎊

Lily: oh my god you’re so ANNOYING

Lily: shut the HELL UP

Remus: Kidding.

Remus: Of course I’m upset.

Remus: Although…

Remus: No more kissing Lily after 2 weeks.

Cas: PLEASE

Lily: HELP

Lily: I HATE U

Remus: Jag hatar dig också.

Lily: i

Remus: You heard me.

Lily: and i cried all over again

Remus: Good.

Lily: ur going to hell

Remus: Also good.

Lily: anyway about remus’ leaving party

Remus: No.

Remus: Absolutely not.

Cas: YESSSSSSS

Cas: omg can we plan together

Lily: YES OF COURSE

Remus: I said no.

Cas: and i’m choosing to ignore that

Lily: it’s happening remus

Remus: How funny would it be if I just…

Remus: Don’t turn up?

Lily: nice try

Lily: i’m dragging u there by the ear

Remus: Fuck this.

Cas: pls remus 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Cas: not a lot of people okay

Lily: we know u don’t like that

Lily: me and cas will make sure you’re comfortable

Cas: 100% my love

Lily: lots of your favourite food and music

Remus: FINE.

Remus: Fuck…

Remus: Even when I’m killed off this show I can’t escape.

Cas: ?

Lily: BITCH

Remus: Okay, that was a joke.

Lily: better be

Remus: You’re both so nice, thank you.

Remus: I might be crying again.

Cas: bringing jaffa cakes to ur trailer right now

Lily: *hugs incoming*

Remus: Fuckkkkkk.

Remus: I will miss annoying you both everyday.

Lily: and i’ll miss kissing you, my stage boyfriend

Remus: You’re sick.

Lily: omg wait

Remus: What now.

Lily: we can invite star boy to the party

Remus: No.

Remus: Mother fucker I don’t even know who he is, how can WE invite him?

Lily: i’m good at finding people online 🙃

Remus: Not happening.

Cas: who what where

Lily: SIRIUS!!!!!

Lily: his little crush

Remus: FAR OFF.

Remus: We have been speaking since Friday.

Remus: IT IS SUNDAY.

Lily: love knows no time limits 🥰

Remus: If you don’t shut up right now.

Cas: name sounding familiar

Remus: …

Remus: FUCK OFF.

Lily: DORCAS ????

Cas: i used to go to school with someone called sirius

Cas: sirius black

Cas: we used to be friends in school.. will never forget him bc of his name honestly 

Lily: omg…

Lily: it’s him

Remus: How the FUCK could you possibly know that, Lily?

Lily: OH COME ON

Lily: have you ever met anyone else with the name sirius before?

Remus: No.

Cas: i think we are still mutuals on instagram?

Lily: omg this is great

Remus: This isn’t fair. Dorcas knows everyone.

Cas: it’s true i fear

Cas: i was right

Cas: we are mutuals still

Lily: LETS GOOOO

Remus: Nice to know you’re still humble enough to follow old school friends.

Cas: ENOUGH 😭😭😭

Cas:  

Lily: holy shit du är så bra

Cas: i know

Lily: he’s so pretty what the hell

Remus: …

Remus: Fuck.

Remus: He’s in Skegness right now.

Lily: oh my god

Lily: ITS HIM

Cas: i’m gonna dm him

Remus: NO??????

Remus: Don’t do that.

Cas: why NOT lupin

Remus: Because.

Remus: Talking to him knowing he doesn’t know who I am makes me feel normal? I don’t know.

Lily: is that a kink or what

Remus: Huh.

Cas: LILY PLEASE

Cas: i like you 😭🙏🏼🙏🏼🙏🏼

Lily: HELP

Cas: anyway

Cas: who says i’m inviting him for your benefit?

Cas: think of it as… old friends catching up

Remus: At my party?

Remus: Makes sense. 🙄

Cas: exactly !! 😁😁😁

Remus: This is not happening.

Lily: i’m afraid you’re not the one planning the party baby

Cas: what lily said

Remus: Suddenly I have no friends.

Cas: UR SO DRAMATIC PLS

Cas: i love winding you up

Remus: Horrible. ☹️

Cas: all out of love of course sweetie

Cas: i love u

Remus: I love you too.

Remus: …

Remus: Okay I have a scene now.

Remus: I expect to see them jaffa cakes in my trailer when I get back.

Cas: sir yes sir

[Lily & Dorcas]

Dorcas: i dmed sirius

Lily: HELL

Lily: remus will murder u i think

Dorcas: PLS

Dorcas: don’t tell him

Lily: cross my heart

Dorcas: i just asked him if he wanted to come to a party and catch up

Dorcas: he said yes

Dorcas: remus can keep his little charade going on if he really wants to

Lily: charade 😭😭😭

Lily: oh you’re TOO good

Dorcas: so true

Dorcas: what are the odds of me knowing his little boyfriend

Lily: stop itttt 😭😭

Lily: honestly he can’t stop smiling whenever he’s on his phone

Lily: it’s sick actually

Dorcas: bless him 🥲

Dorcas: they are gonna meet and fall in love

Dorcas: groundbreaking ship

Lily: no because you’re right

Lily: they’d make such a hot couple……….

Dorcas: REAL

Lily: oh he’s gonna hate us

Dorcas: it’s worth it

Lily: true

[Outnumbered]

salvepettigrew: padfoot is crying into his dick rock

shitonit: sorry… dick rock?

salvepettigrew: candy rock shaped like a dick

shitonit: interesting…

milfdirect: WTF

Regulus: Lol.

goodboywilson: SHUT UP I SWEAR TO FUCK

goodboywilson: this isn’t funny i’m gonna pass out

oldmacdonald: what’s up sexy

goodboywilson: dorcas meadowes

goodboywilson: invited me to a cast party

shitonit: shit i always forget we went to school with her

goodboywilson: NO BECAUSE SO DO I

goodboywilson: so out of the blue idk how to act….

goodboywilson: A CAST PARTY

milfdirect: SHE WHAT

milfdirect: UR GOING RIGHT???

goodboywilson: YES IM GOING ARE U MAD

oldmacdonald: OH MY GOD

oldmacdonald: WTF

goodboywilson: you’re all invited btw

goodboywilson: she said i could bring friends

oldmacdonald: WHAT

milfdirect: holy shit holy shit holy shit

goodboywilson: ok i’m done crying now

goodboywilson: I LIED

goodboywilson: WHAT IF REMUS JS FONNA BE FHERE

goodboywilson: I CANF DO FHIS

oldmacdonald: THIS IS THE BEST THING TO HAPPEN TO ME EVER

oldmacdonald: WHY DID U NEVER MENTION THAT U KNEW DORCAS

goodboywilson: I NEVER THOUGHT TO TELL U IDK ???

milfdirect: I AM SHOCKED

milfdirect: my mouth is literally hanging open

oldmacdonald: me and marlene look insane right now

milfdirect: real…..

Regulus: This party is going to be hell I’m sure

goodboywilson: shut up you’re not invited

Regulus: Okay 😁

shitonit: no you’re coming with me

Regulus: Fine….

Regulus: Only for you sweetheart

shitonit: 🥺🥺🥺

goodboywilson: GROSS 🤮

Regulus: Grow up you stupid prick

goodboywilson: i hate you

Regulus: You’re ugly

goodboywilson: so are u

shitonit: ok enough

salvepettigrew: When are we going for tea?

oldmacdonald: THATS WHAT UR THINKING ABOUT RN????

oldmacdonald: PETER

oldmacdonald: we are GOONG TO A CAST PARTY FOR SUNNYLAND

salvepettigrew: I don’t think you get it

salvepettigrew: Sirius has been crying about it for the past hour

goodboywilson: shut up

salvepettigrew: I’ve had my freaking out already

salvepettigrew: Right now… I want chinese for my TEA.

milfdirect: yeah Me too when r we going for Tea

shitonit: it’s like 5 right now..

shitonit: shall we say 6?

oldmacdonald: ok yes

milfdirect: yes

salvepettigrew: Yes

shitonit: great see you then

salvepettigrew: 👍🏼

[Sirius & John]

John: Sorry I haven’t messaged all day.

John: Really, really busy.

Sirius: no worries :D

Sirius: you don’t have to apologise

Sirius: hope you’ve had a good day !!

John: You’re being awfully… nice.

Sirius: why thank you :)

Sirius: i’ve had the best day actually

John: That’s good.

Sirius: how was your day?

John: I got some bad news, but I’m doing okay.

Sirius: do u want to talk about it?

John: No, if that’s alright.

Sirius: yes that’s okay!!

Sirius: i’m here to talk if you need to

Sirius: always

John: I appreciate that, Sirius.

Sirius: of course :)

Sirius: anyway

Sirius: i got sand in my mouth today

Sirius: when i fell over

John: Deserved.

Sirius: rude.

Sirius: i bruised my sexy face

Sirius: the sand is… surprising hard

Sirius: banged my chin 💔💔💔

John: Oh dear… How will you survive this?

Sirius: idk……..

John: Your poor, pretty face.

Sirius: stop it i’m blushing

Sirius: kiss it better 😉

John: Okay.

Sirius: oh my god

Sirius: no rejections i think i’m getting better at this

John: Perhaps you are.

Sirius: i just fist bumped the air

Sirius: i’ve finally broke you, john

John: Haha.

Sirius: next: you’ll be revealing your identity to me

John: I don’t think so.

Sirius: damn

Sirius: worth a try

John: I support your attempts.

Sirius: cheers

John: Of course.

John: I’m going to go to sleep now.

John: Goodnight, Sirius.

Sirius: goodnight john :)

John: :)

Chapter Text

[Outnumbered]

shitonit: rise and shine my lovely little friends 😁💗💘💓

shitonit: reminder our train home is at 11:12am we have 2 hours ok 

salvepettigrew: Okay! 

milfdirect: stfu 

milfdirect: ur so annoying james 

shitonit: fine miss the train idc 

milfdirect: ok 

oldmacdonald: packing now i suppose 

salvepettigrew: My new friends Alice and Frank are on the same train! 

goodboywilson: who the hell are they 

salvepettigrew: We met at the arcade! 

salvepettigrew: Super sweet people

salvepettigrew: Frank is exactly like you, Prongs 😊 

goodboywilson: …. 

goodboywilson: christ can’t handle 2 of the same person 

shitonit: ? 

goodboywilson: sorry my phone was hacked i think 

shitonit: sure… 

goodboywilson: love you !! 

oldmacdonald: fuck this i have work tonight

oldmacdonald: 5-2 i might drop dead now

milfdirect: HA 

oldmacdonald: why u laughing mckinnon 

oldmacdonald: ur on the schedule as well babe 

milfdirect: WHAT. 

milfdirect: i should’ve… checked that honestly

milfdirect: OH FUCK THIS 

milfdirect: 5-1 i’m gonna die 

oldmacdonald: ur staying on till 2 with me 

milfdirect: like fuck if i am 

oldmacdonald: fine. 

oldmacdonald: i hope ur on batch 

milfdirect: 🤨🤨

oldmacdonald: james how long is the train journey do u know 

milfdirect: my life is hell i hate this

shitonit: like 3 hours? 

shitonit: stops at kings cross 

oldmacdonald: okay okay that’s fine 

milfdirect: what if i just Quit today 

milfdirect: hand in my notice… 

milfdirect: live off james and regulus’ money… 

Regulus: Just choked on my laughter

Regulus: Fat chance 

milfdirect: oh you’re alive.. 

Regulus: Yes? 

goodboywilson: what about my money 🙄

milfdirect: oh shit yeh u got money as well 

milfdirect: if you’re offering sexy 

goodboywilson: i’m not  

goodboywilson: just wanted to brag 😛

milfdirect: ok the Fuck 

oldmacdonald: HELP 

shitonit: anyway…

shitonit: are you all packed? 

salvepettigrew: Yes! 

goodboywilson: actually yes 

shitonit: fantastic 

oldmacdonald: you could say that

shitonit: elaborate???? 

oldmacdonald: me and marls are having a fight 

oldmacdonald: clothes everywhere 

Regulus: James is gonna pass out 

Regulus: I’m pretty sure.

goodboywilson: good 

oldmacdonald: apparently i stole her bra

oldmacdonald: and she’s right 

oldmacdonald: i’m wearing it 

oldmacdonald: but only because i lost mine 

goodboywilson: how the hell did u lose it 

oldmacdonald: on the beach… i think 

oldmacdonald: was pretty pissed actually 

goodboywilson: ok i’m done asking questions 

milfdirect: HELLO???? 

shitonit: ……….. 

milfdirect: ur a LITTLE SHIT

milfdirect: TAKE IT OFF 

oldmacdonald: take it off me yourself 😏😉

oldmacdonald: ok don’t do that  

milfdirect: JEJDIDJEJDKEK

milfdirect: I HATE YOU SO MUCH 

shitonit: CHRIST 

shitonit: this is hell 

goodboywilson: you’re both insufferable 

milfdirect: i can’t do this anymore 😭😭😭😭

milfdirect: we r literally yelling irl and over text 

goodboywilson: PLEASE 

Regulus: You’re all a bunch of screenagers. 

Regulus: I never asked to be a part of this group 

Regulus: Gonna drive my head into a wall

goodboywilson: ok so leave 

goodboywilson: no one will miss u

shitonit: i’ll miss him ☹️

goodboywilson: no one asked 🤣🤣🤣

Regulus: You’re the worst of them all 

goodboywilson: love u brother 

goodboywilson: 😍🥰💗

Regulus: Fick off 

Regulus: Fuck* 

Regulus: By the way, girls, James is coming over to help you pack

goodboywilson: HAHAHAHAHAHA

goodboywilson: he’s just like monica geller 🥰🥰🥰 

Regulus: Enjoy 😇

[Regulus has left the conversation]

oldmacdonald: oh shit 

salvepettigrew: This is brilliant 😂

oldmacdonald: ok remain calm 

oldmacdonald: i can here you in the toilet mckinnon 

milfdirect: THIS JS HELL 

oldmacdonald: MARLENE UR NOT HELPING 

milfdirect: fuck my life 

[Sirius & John] 

Sirius: moooooooorning 

John: Good morning, Sirius. 

Sirius: i go home today 💔

Sirius: very sad 

John: Oh no. 

John: Where are you from? 

John: I realised I never asked when you did. 

Sirius: London 

Sirius: Notting Hill if i were to be precise 

John: Posh twat. 

Sirius: uh 

Sirius: thanks? 

John: Wasn’t a compliment. 

Sirius: i know.. 

John: Don’t tell me your house is painted a vibrant colour. 😭

Sirius: sadly it’s just white 

John: So modern. 

Sirius: right??? 

Sirius: my brother will not let me paint it blue

Sirius: so rude of him 

John: Can’t imagine why. 

Sirius: ok now… 

John: :D

John: Do you just live with your brother? 

Sirius: yeah 

Sirius: and my best friend basically just moved in i guess  

Sirius: he’s dating regulus 

Sirius: ^^^ my brother 

John: Sirius and Regulus. 

John: Your parents into astronomy or some shit? 

Sirius: uh 

Sirius: possibly 

John: Lovely names.

Sirius: is that a compliment this time or 

John: Yes. 

Sirius: thank u i guess 

Sirius: most of my family are named after stars or constellations 

Sirius: it’s fucking weird honestly 

Sirius: freaks

Sirius: don’t like them

John: I won’t press the conversation further then.

Sirius: yeah thanks 

John: But your name is cool regardless. 

Sirius: :) thank u 

John: Of course. 

Sirius: listen i have to catch my train now

Sirius: but i’ll message u when i get home 

John: I’ll look forward to it. 

Sirius: return john while you’re waiting 

Sirius: this wrong number is being awfully nice… 

John: Okay, cunt. 

Sirius: there we are 

Sirius: better 

Sirius: bye john 

Sirius: <3 

John: Bye, Sirius. 

[Outnumbered] 

shitonit: oh boy… 

shitonit: sirius ur gonna wish u were with me at maccies right now 

goodboywilson: ???

goodboywilson: why would i wish that 

shitonit: marlene just dropped a milkshake 

goodboywilson: lol 

shitonit: because remus lupin just walked in the door 

goodboywilson: WHAT 

goodboywilson: ARE U TAKING THE PISS RIGHT NOW

oldmacdonald: HELLO??? 

oldmacdonald: i’m on my break rn WHAT 

shitonit: mary come join me 

shitonit: be normal pls 

oldmacdonald: stfu 

oldmacdonald: oh my god it’s true 

goodboywilson: WHAT THE HELL

salvepettigrew: Marlene is so clumsy 😂

goodboywilson: woah woah woah 

goodboywilson: this can’t be happening 

shitonit: i’m sat to the side giggling as i watch 

shitonit: sadly i no longer work here so i can’t help clean up the mess… 

oldmacdonald: ur so sick… 

shitonit: fuck sirius 

shitonit: remus is so hot 

goodboywilson: i hate myself 

goodboywilson: i hate you

goodboywilson: i hate everything 

goodboywilson: oh my god 

oldmacdonald: I JUSY CRIED 

milfdirect: THIS PLACE IS HELL 

milfdirect: i just walked away 

milfdirect: this is so embarrassing

goodboywilson: james can you tell him to sign my quarter pounder box 

shitonit: no ? 

goodboywilson: HELL 

goodboywilson: guess i’ll die now then 

milfdirect: i’ll join You

goodboywilson: ok 

milfdirect: 🥲

goodboywilson: regulus is reading over my shoulder and laughing 

goodboywilson: this fucking bitch 

goodboywilson: hurry up back before i kill him prongs 

shitonit: wait me and mary r talking to him 

shitonit: shut up for a second 

shitonit: also don’t kill my boyfriend 

goodboywilson: oh my god 😭😭😭😭😭😭

goodboywilson: i can’t DO THIS 

salvepettigrew: I bet you wish you weren’t lazy now, Sirius 😂😂

goodboywilson: i beg you shut up 

goodboywilson: this is the worst day of my life 

shitonit: don’t be so dramatic 

shitonit: he signed the maccies bag for u 

goodboywilson: WHAT 

oldmacdonald: oh my god he’s lying 

oldmacdonald: james stop teasing him 

shitonit: this is all very amusing 

goodboywilson: yeah….. 

goodboywilson: regulus seems to think the same 

shitonit: i like him 😁

goodboywilson: please come home now 

shitonit: yes ok mary has gone back on shift now 

milfdirect: bye then 

milfdirect: i’m hiding in the toilet from sheer embarrassment 

milfdirect: has remus gone 

shitonit: yeah 

milfdirect: ok 

salvepettigrew: Was Remus nice? 

shitonit: no he spat on me 

salvepettigrew: 😟😟😟

shitonit: kidding

shitonit: he’s so lovely 

shitonit: he offered to help clean up marlene’s fallen milkshake

milfdirect: FUCK 

shitonit: lovely fella 

goodboywilson: ok u can shut up now 

shitonit: are u crying 

goodboywilson: no… 

goodboywilson: Yes he ISSSSSSSDNSKSK

goodboywilson: ignore that last message my fucking idiot brother is doing my head in 

shitonit: Regulus 😁🥰💓

shitonit: ok i’m round the corner 

goodboywilson: thank fuck 

[Sirius & John] 

Sirius: hi sorry busy day unpacking 

Sirius: but 

Sirius: going dark 

Sirius: don’t hit me up 

John: Wasn’t planning on it anyway. 

Sirius: RUDE.

Sirius: i can’t do this

John: You’re being dramatic, what happened? 

Sirius: listen i have my reasons

John: Do go on… 

Sirius: i told my friend i wasn’t going with him to maccies 

Sirius: because honestly i’m tired

Sirius: just wanted to sleep 

Sirius: but he texts me…. 

Sirius: saying that remus lupin was there 

Sirius: and my friends were on shift

Sirius: marlene and mary

Sirius: although marlene walked off 😭😭

Sirius: and Mary being … the one i mistook ur number for

Sirius: SO I FUCKING PASSED UP MEETING REMUS LUPIN BECAUSE I WAS TIRED ESSENTIALLY 

Sirius: I HATE MYSELF 

John: So they all met Remus Lupin and you didn’t? 

Sirius: YES can u see why i can’t do this anymore 

John: Tell me Sirius, did you cry? 

Sirius: oh god don’t make me look like an idiot come on 

John: Completely understandable… Remus’ beauty and all… 

Sirius: i will block ur number right NOW 

John: Do it. :D 

Sirius: no

Sirius: never 

Sirius: ur stuck with me 

John: Fuck… I can’t do this. 

John: Got my hopes up for nothing. 

Sirius: ur the dramatic one now 

John: Enough. 😭

Sirius: i like talking to u… insane as it might sound

Sirius: i would never block u

John: Actually now you say it.

John: I like talking to you as well. 

Sirius: oh wow 🥰🥰🥰

Sirius: ur so nice 

John: I try my best. 

Sirius: i’m falling asleep i fear 

John: Then go to sleep, Sirius. 

John: Goodnight. 

[Remus & Lily] 

Remus: I met Sirius’ friends tonight.

Remus: At Mcdonald’s. 

Remus: He just told me. 

Lils: HELLO???? 

Lils: was he there 

Remus: NO. 

Remus: I’m fucking glad he wasn’t. 

Remus: How the hell am I supposed to tell him that he’s actually texting Remus Lupin? 

Remus: And that I actually know who he is… 

Lils: uh 

Lils: you just TELL HIM ????

Lils: it seems pretty fucking straight forward remus 

Remus: You’re not listening to me. 

Lils: oh no i am 

Lils: u like him 

Lils: and ur too pussy to tell him that ur actually remus lupin 

Remus: Again, you’re far off. 

Remus: I don’t like him. 

Lils: what the hell remus 

Remus: Shut your mouth. 

Lils: NO

Lils: you’re gonna have to tell him eventually if you keep talking 

Remus: But. 

Remus: He makes me feel normal. 

Remus: I don’t think I want to lose that right now. 

Lils: ok and you think that’s gonna change when he knows who you are?

Remus: Possibly. 

Remus: Lily, he’s a fan.

Lils: AND????? 

Lils: you are so annoying god 

Remus: And you’re pushy. 

Lils: it’s true 😁😁😁

Lils: I honestly don’t think it will make a difference 

Lils: just see how u feel after ur party 

Remus: Meaning? 

Lils: shit i wasn’t meant to mention that

Lils: fuck uh 

Lils: ummmmm

Remus: LILY? 

Lils: i have to go

Remus: NO.

Remus: ELABORATE. 

Lils: see you tomorrow !!! 

Lils: bye 

Remus: Oh FUCK YOU. 

Remus: WHAT 

Remus: I hate you. 

[Lily & Dorcas] 

Lily: i fucked up 

Lily: maybe i mentioned sirius in association to remus’ party 

Lily: maybe… don’t quote me

Lily: don’t wanna talk about it 

Dorcas: oh for fuck sake evans

Chapter Text

[Outnumbered]

goodboywilson: GONNA LOOSEEEEE IT I CNANF BREAFBE

goodboywilson: SHIT ON IT

shitonit: yes?

goodboywilson: no not you

goodboywilson: piss off

shitonit: 🤨

goodboywilson: i just finished rewatching fnd

oldmacdonald: ur INSANE

oldmacdonald: that last scene makes me fucking Choke

goodboywilson: like……

goodboywilson: it HURTS HURTS

oldmacdonald: little bobbles r gonna be dads ☹️☹️☹️☹️

goodboywilson: NOOOOOOOSHut UP

goodboywilson: i can’t do this i need s7

milfdirect: oh how great that would be 💔

goodboywilson: guys i’m going to die i am in tears right now

goodboywilson: i cant do this 

goodboywilson: everything hurts

shitonit: regulus just said “how the fuck am i related to this absolute melt”

goodboywilson: WHAT THE HELL

goodboywilson: i hate him

oldmacdonald: HELP

oldmacdonald: someone add him back 😭😭😭😭😭😭

goodboywilson: NO

shitonit: anyway sirius… it’s understandable

shitonit: that last episode sent the whole of the uk into a meltdown it’s ok

goodboywilson: i think i like u today

shitonit: meaning?

goodboywilson: MEANING

goodboywilson: ur fucking annoying mostly because you date my brother

goodboywilson: but ur tolerable today 💗

shitonit: awww

shitonit: that means a lot 🫂

goodboywilson: 😁🫂💘😍

oldmacdonald: ok i’ll add him back

oldmacdonald: my favourite black brother 😍😍

goodboywilson: ??????

goodboywilson: PLEASE NO

[oldmacdonald added Regulus]

goodboywilson: aH FUCK OFFFFF

oldmacdonald: welcome back sweetheart

Regulus: Gross, not you people again

salvepettigrew: Hey, Reggie!

Regulus: Hello

goodboywilson: feel free to leave

Regulus: I’m going to stay 🥰

Regulus: Just to piss you off

goodboywilson: oh hell

milfdirect: so change your Nickname

milfdirect: make it Look like you’re actually staying this Time

Regulus: Do I have to?

shitonit: DO ITTTT

oldmacdonald: YES

milfdirect: better be Something amazing…

goodboywilson: can’t he just leave instead?

Regulus: Shut up.

Regulus: I have an idea

milfdirect: share it with the Class

[Regulus changed their nickname to alrightlandlord]

oldmacdonald: ?

milfdirect: well… it’s an idea

salvepettigrew: Oh

alrightlandlord: Give him a second…

salvepettigrew: AHHHHHHHHH

salvepettigrew: IEIDKEOSOWXJOEOSOW

salvepettigrew: OMG REGULUS

salvepettigrew: SALVE GRUMIO

alrightlandlord: Alright, Landlord!

milfdirect: oh god

milfdirect: is that a….

milfdirect: plebs reference?

alrightlandlord: Plebs reference.

shitonit: not this

goodboywilson: PLEASE

salvepettigrew: I think I just cried

alrightlandlord: No, me too

oldmacdonald: james they have matching nicknames

oldmacdonald: how do u feel 🎤

shitonit: this place is hell

shitonit: i can’t believe i date a Plebs fan

alrightlandlord: Plebs is superior.

goodboywilson: i can’t believe you date him at all

milfdirect: 😭😭😭😭

oldmacdonald: PLS

shitonit: ENOUGH LMAO

salvepettigrew: Guys listen.

salvepettigrew: When in Rome….

salvepettigrew: Do as the Romans Do…

salvepettigrew: FAR FROM HOME

alrightlandlord: ALL I GOT IS YOUUUUUUUU

salvepettigrew: YESSSSSS

salvepettigrew: So happy 😊😊😊

oldmacdonald: crikey i’m tired already

oldmacdonald: why did i add reg back

goodboywilson: i said not to

goodboywilson: you never listen macdonald

milfdirect: real sirius

oldmacdonald: stfu marlene

oldmacdonald: ok so

oldmacdonald: next time i’ll listen

oldmacdonald: is that what you want to hear

goodboywilson: fuck… yeah xx

goodboywilson: just kissed u

oldmacdonald: babe i’m blushing

goodboywilson: was my aim 😉

milfdirect: ok be a Good Boy wilson

shitonit: LMAO

goodboywilson: 😳😳😳

[3’s A Crowd]

Remus: Okay.

Remus: So tell me why.

Remus. When I enter my trailer this morning…

Remus: My crochet blanket has vanished.

Cas: wdym sweet

Remus: I know one of you stole it.

Cas: ????

Lily: ….

Lily: that’s crazy…

Lily: can’t imagine where that went

Remus: Hm…

Remus: Evans.

Lily: mhm?

Remus: Give me my blanket back.

Lily: babe idk what u mean

Remus: I SWEAR TO GOD.

Remus: My trailer has windows, you know?

Remus: I just saw you walk past.

Lily: fuck

Cas: lily ur evil

Cas: 😭😭😭

Lily: i was COLD

Remus: Okay.

Remus: So ask next time…

Lily: no

Remus: HELL.

Remus: Just don’t get it dirty please.

Remus: It’s from a fan.

Cas: A FAN 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Remus: Yes.

Remus: It’s very special to me.

Cas: you’re so cute wtf

Lily: it’s a very beautiful blanket

Lily: very warm as well…

Remus: Enjoying it, Evans?

Lily: very much

Remus: 🙄🙄🙄

Lily: love u

Remus: …

Remus: Love you.

Remus: I’m snacking on some lovely jaffa cakes

Cas: oh you’re welcome for those

Remus: Yes, thank you, Cassie.

Remus: Although the packet was already open.

Cas: oops

Cas: can’t win today can you?

Remus: No.

Lily: bless ur heart

Lily: does anyone want to get a late lunch together?

Cas: where you thinking?

Remus: Hard pass.

Remus: I hate you both.

Lily: stfu

Lily: maybe nandos?

Cas: OH YES

Lily: GREATTTT

Lily: we r free in an hour

Cas: perfect

Cas: fucking love sunset burger

Lily: FUCK

Lily: mouth watering already can’t do this

Cas: yiu sure you’re not coming remus?

Cas: you*

Remus: I think… I’ll come.

Remus: Nandos sounds really good right now.

Lily: correct answer

Cas: it’s a date 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Lily: maybe our last one…

Cas: NOOOOOOOOOO

Remus: You both cutting ties with me when I leave?

Lily: yes 💘

Remus: Shut up.

Cas: no no remus of course not

Cas: i'll always be around to annoy you <3

Remus: I like you best, Dorcas.

Remus: Sometimes.

Cas: oh my god

Cas: best thing you’ve ever said to me 😭😭😭

Remus: Don't count on it all the time.

Cas: ugh fine

Cas: PLS SIGN MY TIT

Remus: FUNNY.

Lily: CAS UR ANNOYING

Lily: remember when a fan asked u to do that 😭

Remus: Oh God.

Remus: Don’t remind me.

Cas: HELL AHHAHAHA I REMEMBER THAT

Cas: did you do it?

Remus: Did I fuck.

Lily: would u sign sirius’ tits if he asked?

Cas: HELP

Remus: ....

Remus: I’m gonna have to cancel lunch plans.

[Sirius & John]

Sirius: hello john

Sirius: i downed a wholeeee monster before my shift

Sirius: i’m on an overnight i can’t function

Sirius: absolutely CRASHING right now

John: Oh, hello. 

John: I don’t think that was a wise move.

Sirius: no you’re right

Sirius: bad idea 😭

John: You’ll learn.

Sirius: possibly…

Sirius: possibly not

Sirius: i’m soooo bored HELLO

John: Do your job.

Sirius: bit hard that

Sirius: place is dead

Sirius: and i feel like i’m about to drop dead

John: Don’t die.

Sirius: ok if u insist

John: Great.

John: Where do you work?

Sirius: Portobello Hotel

John: FANCY.

Sirius: indeed

Sirius: i’m a night receptionist which is shit

Sirius: first night back after skeggy 🤝

John: When do you finish?

Sirius: 6am 👎🏼

John: 5 hours to go.

John: You can do this.

Sirius: my biggest supporter 🥺🥺🥺

John: You know it.

Sirius: just blushed

Sirius: gosh… when did you grow less annoying?

John: Whenever you did.

Sirius: wait

Sirius: omg does this mean we are friends?

John: Oh fuck.

John: Definitely not.

Sirius: ok good just checking

Sirius: don’t really wanna be your friend anyway… 🥶

John: Glad we are on the same boat, dickhead.

Sirius: me too fucker

Sirius: ewww someone is approaching me

Sirius: can’t do this

John: Put your phone down.

Sirius: THEY ARE YELLING LMAOOOO

Sirius: fuck i can’t argue back

Sirius: i’m on my last strike

Sirius: ok bye i

John: LOL.

John: I love how seriously you take your work. 🤩

John: I aspire to be you… arguing with customers.

John: Wait.

John: Are they called customers?

John: Because technically you’re not serving them right?

John: They just sleep where you work.

John: This is really going to bother me.

John: Oh my god.

John: I had a brain fart.

John: They are called guests.

John: I can’t do this anymore.

John: How do you delete messages???????

John: BYE.

John: GOODNIGHT.

Sirius: FUCK

Chapter Text

[Outnumbered]

goodboywilson: today is the day guys

goodboywilson: the day that will mark our history books

oldmacdonald: don’t start i can’t do this

oldmacdonald: why are u awake

goodboywilson: just finished work my little love muffin

oldmacdonald: oh gee

oldmacdonald: me too, do you wanna get breakfast?

goodboywilson: u just came from maccies but ok

goodboywilson: can’t imagine anywhere else will be open considering it’s 6am

oldmacdonald: not eating maccies for the second time today gonna be sick

goodboywilson: ok true

oldmacdonald: i’m sure there’s a little cafe knocking about so shut up

goodboywilson: greasy full english 😩

goodboywilson: just what i need

oldmacdonald: that’s the spirit

oldmacdonald: meet me at the tube station

goodboywilson: okay love

goodboywilson: On the way!

oldmacdonald: On the way!

goodboywilson: stfu was auto

oldmacdonald: sure

salvepettigrew: Good morning!

salvepettigrew: Just read through the chat

salvepettigrew: Did you find a cafe that was open? :)

goodboywilson: hey petey boy

goodboywilson: yeahhh we did

goodboywilson: how’d you sleep?

salvepettigrew: I slept good, thank you!

salvepettigrew: Although my cat decided to attack my feet.

salvepettigrew: So now I’m awake

goodboywilson: naughty stylax hehe

goodboywilson: miss him

salvepettigrew: You should come over soon!

goodboywilson: of course wormy

goodboywilson: how about next week sometime?

salvepettigrew: Sure!

goodboywilson: greattt

goodboywilson: ok back to my plate of hash browns

goodboywilson: see u tonight pete, make sure ur at mine before 8pm

salvepettigrew: Got it, enjoy your breakfast. :)

goodboywilson: oh i will

[Dorcas & Sirius]

Dorcas: hi it’s dorcas! you still coming tonight?

Sirius: hi! of course i am, wouldn’t miss it :)

Dorcas: i can’t wait!

Dorcas: it will be lovely to see you again

Sirius: i knowwww

Sirius: it’s been a long time

Dorcas: truly

Dorcas: how many guests are you bringing again?

Sirius: 5 i believe

Sirius: if my brother doesn’t drop out lmaoekdnejdjd

Dorcas: brilliant

Dorcas: party starts at 10pm :D

Sirius: okay

Sirius: see you then 🤝

[Sirius & James]

pads: where the hell are u

pads: i fear my brother is walking around like a lost puppy

pads: jesus christ idk what spell u put on him

prongsie: food shop

prongsie: i knew u were incapable so here i am

prongsie: in waitrose

pads: WAITROSE

pads: how rich do u think we are

prongsie: insanely

prongsie: also tell reggie i miss him

pads: no i will not

pads: but ok ur right there

pads: we r very insanely rich

pads: honestly i love <3 tesco <3

prongsie: well next time do the food shop yourself

pads: 😳

pads: fine

pads: i will

prongsie: ok good

prongsie: isn’t even my job lol

pads: ok i get it

pads: can u get me some tiger bread please

prongsie: why

pads: because i’m asking

pads: and UR THERE

prongsie: ok fine

pads: thank u

pads: 😊😊😊😊😊😊

prongsie: i’ll be back soon

pads: oh great 🙄

prongsie: ok

prongsie: so what if i take all this food to my parents house

prongsie: and never come back

pads: i wouldn’t be mad 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

prongsie: i hate you actually

pads: yeah back at u

pads: hurry up i wanna make a sandwich with my tiger bread 😁😊😁😊

prongsie: FINE

pads: let’s gooooo

[Outnumbered]

milfdirect: i look so hot right now

goodboywilson: so true

goodboywilson: hurry up i’m not waiting all night

shitonit: WHAT DO U WEAR TO A FAMOUS PEOPLE PARTY

alrightlandlord: Nothing 😉

shitonit: I TOLD U SHUT UP WITH THAT

goodboywilson: i’ll ignore my brothers comment because he’s gross

goodboywilson: just wear what u normally wear james

goodboywilson: u dress like ur going out ALL the time

milfdirect: he’s got a point

shitonit: suddenly that feels very mediocre if im going to be in the presence of remus lupin

goodboywilson: true but he’s not urs to impress lol lol lol

oldmacdonald: LMAO

oldmacdonald: ok i’m ready

oldmacdonald: and i’m around the corner

goodboywilson: beautiful stuff

milfdirect: is pete already with you or should i collect him on the way

milfdirect: considering he lives next to my uni accom

goodboywilson: he’s here

goodboywilson: only person ever on time 🥰🥰🥰

oldmacdonald: rude

milfdirect: yeah Rude

goodboywilson: but true

oldmacdonald: ok i suppose so

shitonit: i finished my meltdown

shitonit: i am dressed

goodboywilson: don’t care

9:34pm

“Regulus!” Sirius shouted up the stairs of their house. “The Uber is here, hurry up!”

“I can’t find my tote,” Regulus shouted in reply. He was running around his bedroom frantically, possibly already a little tipsy.

“First world problems, honestly.” Sirius muttered under his breath, flushed from the shot he had just downed. Sirius could hear Marlene and Mary splutter a laugh.

“I’ve got it!” James yelled, and Regulus resurfaced instantly, red faced as he stumbled down the stairs.

Okay, maybe pre-drinking was a bad idea.

“Oh!” Regulus breathed out, knocking into the wall as he threw his arms around James. “Lifesaver,” he muttered, retrieving the bag.

“Take it easy on the drinks, Reg,” James said, his eyes soft as Regulus pulled back from the hug, his cheeks still flushed.

“Maybe I’m a bit more tipsy than I thought.” Regulus chuckled to himself. James had a gentle grip around his waist.

“You’re a fucking lightweight.” Sirius said on his way to the front door, waving everyone over as they clambered out of the front door.

“Fine.” Regulus huffed out to no one in particular, throwing his tote over his shoulder.

Tonight was going to be a mess, that was for sure.

[Sirius & John]

John: Save me.

John: I’m at a party, I’d rather die.

Sirius: booooooooooo

Sirius: party pooper!!

Sirius: i’m on my way to a party actuallt

Sirius: potentially already a bit tipsy

John: Oh?

John: Where you headed?

Sirius: the book club i think

Sirius: OMG imagine we’re gonna be at the same party

Sirius: how cool would that be!!!!!!!!!<33333

John: Yeah…

John: Imagine.

10:07pm

Remus locked his phone, slipping it into his pocket before pushing through the crowds of people in search for a particular red head.

This definitely wasn't the small party he had hoped for. Guests invited guests and suddenly the room was swimming with people.

“LILY!” he yelled over the music, spotting her in a far corner talking to Dorcas.

“Remus!” Lily beamed up at him, taking a sip of her drink. “Enjoying the party?”

“Is Sirius here yet?” He bent down slightly so he was level with his friends, ignoring the question at hand. It was far too loud for his liking.

Dorcas stared at him momentarily before deciding her drink was the most interesting thing in the room.

“What makes you ask that?” Lily pondered, her and Dorcas making eye contact over the tops of their wine glasses.

“He just texted me,” Remus stated matter-of-factly. And Lily chuckled into her drink.

“Great! He should be here soon then,” Dorcas cheered, moving her way through the crowd in an attempt to reach the front entrance. 

“Cassie!” he yelled after Dorcas before turning to Lily, she clearly wasn’t going to come back. 

“Why is he coming here?” Remus demanded.

“Dorcas invited him.” Lily shrugged her shoulders, beckoning Remus to come closer. He complied. “Old friends catching up.”

“Sure,” Remus scoffed, turning on his heel as he made a beeline to get away, spotting Minerva observing the scene from a crowded corner. 

He mentally facepalmed, because of course this was the plan all along. Dorcas inviting Sirius in attempt to bring them together. All the clues were there. 

[Sirius & John]

Sirius: absolutely BUZZING

Sirius: just met Lily Evans??????????

Sirius: wtffffff

John: Lily Evans?

John: She seems annoying.

Sirius: WHAT

Sirius: NOOOOOOO

Sirius: absolute sweetheart

John: Enjoying the party?

Sirius: YES!!!!

Sirius: very stuffy honestly

Sirius: my brother is soooo plastered already

Sirius: hiendtly so am I

Sirius : honestly*

Sirius: but i need him to leave me alone

John: Of course you’re already drunk.

Sirius: ok rude

Sirius: anyway

Sirius: how’s ur party?

John: Also very stuffy.

John: It’s too noisy.

Sirius: isn’t that the point of a good party

John: You have a point.

Sirius: I always have a point

John: Okay, don’t be getting too cocky now.

11:02pm

Sirius was in the middle of replying to John as he stepped out onto the balcony, Regulus stumbling at his side, drink spilling down his dress shirt.

“Fucking hell, Regulus,” Sirius groaned, placing his phone in his pocket before wiping at his shirt frantically.

“Shit, Je suis désolé,” Regulus muttered, breathing in the fresh air as he moved his way over the ledge. His spilled drink now forgotten.

“Est-ce du vin rouge?” Sirius spluttered, his hands sticky as he grimaced.

“Peut être,” Regulus chuckled breathlessly, stumbling on his feet. Okay, he was very drunk. “My bad.” 

“No more drinks for you,” Sirius slurred, stumbling his way over to his brother, still wiping at his shirt as if the red stain would come out if he kept trying. “Okay, no more drinks for me either,” he said to himself.

“Hell,” Regulus whispered, his eyes wide as he stared at someone who was smoking in the corner. “That’s Remus.”

Sirius jumped slightly, following Regulus’ gaze. And sure enough, Remus Lupin was stood in the corner, phone in hand as he took small drags on a cigarette.

“Hello!” Regulus said, grinning as he approached Remus, way too confident that it made Sirius cringe.

Remus didn’t look shocked in the slightest, having obviously heard the commotion when they arrived on the balcony. Sirius couldn’t help but think that he was out here alone for a reason.

“Hi,” Remus replied, stubbing his cigarette out on the wall behind him before extending a hand. Regulus shook it instantly, suddenly more steady on his feet. “I’m Remus.”

“Regulus, nice to meet you,” Regulus stated, turning to gesture towards Sirius as his hand fell limp at his side. “This is Sirius.”

Sirius offered him a small smile and wave, unable to correlate any reply. Remus was even more beautiful in person, if that was possible. Sirius felt incredibly overwhelmed, his stomach flipping as he made eye contact with Remus.

“Hi, Sirius,” Remus said in reply, a soft expression on his face. Sirius had never felt more intimidated by anyone before.

“Hello,” Sirius breathed out, a small blush creeping its way onto his face, eye contact still going strong.

And Remus smirked. He fucking smirked. And Sirius almost turned in on himself. Because surely he wasn’t smirking because of him… right?

“You both have lovely names,” Remus said, and Regulus practically beamed, his smile so wide that it reached his eyes. And Sirius remained glued to his spot, still unable to correlate more than a word to say.

For once, Regulus did the talking. Which was rare. It was normally the other way around. Sirius was the outgoing, boisterous brother. And Regulus was the quiet, reserved one. Having the tables turned felt weird. But somehow needed.

At some point, Regulus announced his departure for the toilet, because when Sirius snapped out of his daze he was standing face to face with Remus.

Alone.

“Sorry.” Sirius cleared his throat. “Bit drunk, I am.”

“Oh yeah, me too.” Remus chuckled in reply. He had recently lit a new cigarette, taking a drag before breathing out, making sure he didn’t breathe the smoke in Sirius’ direction.

The small gesture made Sirius’ stomach go warm.

“You look it.”

“Let’s say I’m better at acting sober.”

“How so?”

Remus’ stare was burning into Sirius. “For one, I’m not stumbling on my feet.”

“Good point.” Sirius breathed out, gripping the railing on the balcony. And Remus chuckled once again. The sound sending a shiver down Sirius’ spine.

“I also do not have wine spilled down my shirt.” Remus pointed out, taking another drag of his cigarette, letting the smoke fill his lungs.

“Shit,” Sirius mumbled, his face red. “This is not how I expected to meet you.”

“Oh?” Remus said on exhale, his reply sounding more like a question. “How did you expect to meet me then?” he queried.

“Well,” Sirius started. “Not with wine down my shirt, that’s for sure. My brother is to blame for that.”

“Damn you, Regulus.”

“Exactly.” Sirius could feel himself loosening up slightly. Despite Remus’ beauty, Sirius wasn’t sure why he felt so intimidated before. They seemed to be getting on just fine.

“I have a spare shirt in my car,” Remus said out of the blue, flicking away the ash from the tip of his cigarette.

“Pardon?”

“Your shirt.” Remus motioned towards Sirius and the stain currently drying on his white shirt. “I have a spare one, if you want to change.” a small blush was playing on Remus’ cheeks. “You—it can’t be comfortable being drenched in wine.”

Remus Lupin was blushing. And Sirius fumbled for a reply, screaming internally. “Okay.”

“Great.” Remus clapped his hands together before, once again, stubbing his cigarette out.

They stayed close together as they weaved in and out of the crowds of people. And Sirius felt his heart hammering in his chest. A feeling in the pit of his stomach he hadn’t felt for a long time.

Chapter Text

[Outnumbered]

milfdirect: fuck shit FUCK

milfdirect: did dorcas meadowes just Offer me a drink

milfdirect: Yee amd i think i Am Dreaming

oldmacdonald: r u gonna shag her

milfdirect: NO?????

oldmacdonald: shame…

salvepettigrew: I can’t find the toilets !!!!!

salvepettigrew: MAYDAY MAYDAY

milfdirect: NO ONE CARES

salvepettigrew: WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN

milfdirect: bc i Hate u

milfdirect: kiss xxxxxcc

salvepettigrew: Marlene I need a piss where are the toilets

milfdirect: look. for the. toilet sign. Ok

milfdirect: ok Bye dorcas is baclk

milfdirect: i’m Love herrrrr i think

salvepettigrew: Ugh!!!!

salvepettigrew: Guess I’ll piss myself then

salvepettigrew: WHERE IS EVERYONE

goodboywilson: GO AWAY

goodboywilson: i am with Remus………

oldmacdonald: score baby !!!!

goodboywilson: thanks sexyccc

salvepettigrew: OK WHAT THE HELL

shitonit: helloooooo

shitonit: just fell down the stairs

shitonit: if my ankle is broknenm i can’t feel it

goodboywilson: just laughed out loud lol

shitonit: u are noooo helpo

salvepettigrew: James????

alrightlandlord: JAMESSS my love

alrightlandlord: Where are you

shitonit: at the bottom of the stiairs

alrightlandlord: No shit

alrightlandlord: What stairs

alrightlandlord: Lots of stairs hehrre

alrightlandlord: Here***+*

shitonit: no mean :((((((((

shitonit: entrance????? i thinnk

shitonit: oh fuck ok i feel it now

shitonit: hurts

alrightlandlord: I’ll find you

alrightlandlord: If I don’t blackout

shitonit: ok i need hospital

alrightlandlord: Yes love

alrightlandlord: Hell I’m so fucking drunk lmaooooo

alrightlandlord: Sirius can you help me

goodboywilson: i am preoccupiedf

goodboywilson: i just stripped for remus

goodboywilson: / Half Joke

oldmacdonald: LETS GOOOOO

oldmacdonald: go get laidbaby

milfdirect: why did u do thar

milfdirect: did he Throw Up

goodboywilson: shut up

goodboywilson: no reggie spilled his wine all ovef me and remus said he had a spare shirrt

salvepettigrew: He is so nice

salvepettigrew: I am peeing

oldmacdonald: thanks for announciing ti the class

salvepettigrew: No worries, I found the toilets 👍🏼

milfdirect: didnt aks

milfdirect: ask

[Sirius & Regulus]

Sirius: is prongs ok

Sirius: did u leabe

Sirius: leave$* FUCK

Regulus: Yeah

Regulus: Just arrived at A&E

Sirius: fuck i can come help ??????

Sirius: r y both ok

Regulus: Olease

Regulus: Please**

Regulus: Sirius I’m so pissed I can’t support him on myself

Regulus: My own

Sirius: trust him to end up in a&e

Sirius: absolute twat

Regulus: Yes

01:34am 

Sirius sighed, squeezing his eyes shut as he pinched at the bridge of his nose. “My friend is in A&E,” he shouted over the music, waving his phone in the air.

“Are they okay?” Remus asked, his eyes wide and full of concern.

“I think he broke his ankle,” Sirius rambled on, pushing through the crowds of people. “My brother is drunk, he can’t handle James on his own. I need to go.”

Remus blinked hard, attempting to keep up with Sirius’ fast pace. “Do you need me to take you?”

“Thought you were drunk,” Sirius laughed, stumbling slightly as he knocked into a person passing through the crowd. Remus had a strong hand on his shoulder keeping him upright. And Sirius felt the familiar warm feeling return in the pit of his stomach.

“Careful,” Remus said softly, a low chuckle passing his lips. “No, I lied before. I haven’t drank tonight.”

Sirius rolled his eyes playfully, Remus’ hand still on his shoulder. “Of course you lied.”

“So do you want that lift or not, Sirius?” Remus queried, his gaze set on Sirius as he bent low so he was within earshot of the shorter boy.

“Please.”

“Let’s go then.” Remus smiled, ushering Sirius out of the front entrance as he immediately reached for his phone. “I’ll let Lily know I’ve left.”

[Remus & Lily]

Remus: Heads up that I’ve left.

Remus: I’m sorry.

Lily: VAD

Lily: varför då??????

Remus: I’m taking Sirius to A&E.

Lily: come again?

Lily: is he OK

Remus: His friend is there.

Remus: James, reckon he broke his ankle.

Lily: aren’t u a gentlllemsn

Lily: giving him a lifr so he can aassisir his bedtie

Remus: Give it a rest.

Remus: I’m being friendly.

Lily: u loobbbbbe him 😁😁😁🥺🥺🥺

Remus: Thank you for the party.

Remus: I’m done talking to you now.

Lily: NOOOOOOOOO

Lily: nebver got 2 take shots with u

Remus: Next time, promise.

Remus: Love you.

Lily: älskar dig ☹️☹️☹️

[Outnumbered]

salvepettigrew: What the hell is going on here

salvepettigrew: I just saw Marlene kissing Dorcas?????

salvepettigrew: Some tonsil tennis shit

salvepettigrew: Also if I knew I’d be alone at this party I wouldn’t of come.

oldmacdonald: TONSIL TENNIS SHIT

oldmacdonald: LMAO

oldmacdonald: WHERR ARE U

oldmacdonald: LETS GOOOOO MARLENE

oldmacdonald: I LOVE MY LITTLE SLUT

salvepettigrew: Slut??

oldmacdonald: thatswhat i said

salvepettigrew: I’m trying so hard to text right now

salvepettigrew: I feel like the room is spinning

salvepettigrew: Mary I am at the bar

oldmacdonald: im coming bby <33333 😁💘🤝😭

salvepettigrew: Thank yiu

salvepettigrew: Yiu

salvepettigrew: YOU

salvepettigrew: Where is everyone

goodboywilson: a&e w jamed stupid prick

goodboywilson: but love him mwahhg

shitonit: i am innnnn pain 😭😭😭🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

salvepettigrew: Everything ok?

goodboywilson: no we r are all soooo drunk

goodboywilson: i had to get rmeus to drive me heire

goodboywilson: idk how regullis and james got here

alrightlandlord: Uner

salvepettigrew: Ehats that?

salvepettigrew: What’s

alrightlandlord: UNER

alrightlandlord: UBER ……….

salvepettigrew: OH RIGHT

alrightlandlord: Yeah

salvepettigrew: Fuck

salvepettigrew: I am so hungry

salvepettigrew: can we leave

goodboywilson: UGH ME 2

goodboywilson: soooooo hungry

goodboywilson: stuck in thhis hell hole

shitonit: haopy ur here

goodboywilson: ❤️❤️❤️

oldmacdonald: MSRLENE

oldmacdonald: CAN WE GET FOOD

milfdirect: GIVR ME A MINUTE

milfdirect: james i Hope they Cut ur Ankle off :D

shitonit: go 2 help

shitonit: hell

milfdirect: ok

salvepettigrew: Kebab

oldmacdonald: Kebab

salvepettigrew: KEBAB

goodboywilson: WE GET IT

goodboywilson: stfu

milfdirect: NEICKEOSIEIdjdoeksows

milfdirect: NEICKEOSOEKDJRORKXJE

salvepettigrew: Alright?

milfdirect: DORCAD GAVE ME HER NUKBENR

milfdirect: NUMBER

milfdirect: ok i am Cooming

shitonit: let’s goooooo mckinnon

goodboywilson: yeah get that lusdyyyy

goodboywilson: pussy

milfdirect: PLS

oldmacdonald: RJEJSJWIW

oldmacdonald: omg…..

oldmacdonald: cryiinghappy tears

milfdirect: i believe you

oldmacdonald: …

oldmacdonald: ❤️🔥❤️🔥❤️🔥

salvepettigrew: We have acquired: Kebab

milfdirect: i’m so hungry

milfdirect: it’s SOOOOO GOOD

goodboywilson: i have acquired: nothing

goodboywilson: m&s is SHUT??????

goodboywilson: i hate this olace

goodboywilson: i am practically sober now

shitonit: no same

shitonit: remus is still with us 🥺🥺🥺☹️🥺

shitonit: he said once my ankle is all plastered up he will take us home

shitonit: i can’t breathe

oldmacdonald: no bc he is so sweet

oldmacdonald: wth

shitonit: RIGHT

shitonit: i might cry

goodboywilson: i fearremus could be the 4th marauder

shitonit: wait wait wait….

shitonit: OH MY GOD YES

shitonit: i just gasped out loud

goodboywilson: i heard u

shitonit: oh yeah

milfdirect: christ not another

milfdirecf: can’t deal even if it’s Remus bloody Lupin

shitonit: rude…

milfdirect: just kissed ur ankle

shitonit: ????

shitonit: u are weird

goodboywilson: guys i am crashing right noe

goodboywilson: i am sooooo tired like fuck

goodboywilson: could do with a zoot