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Chapter Text

When he got the message that there was someone outside insisting to have a personal audience with the imperial family, Tommy assumed that it was just another upset commoner who was going to complain about the trade tax.

He refused the request, of course, the person didn’t state their name or intention, they didn’t have any noble heritage as far as he could see, they just looked like an ordinary person. Tommy had no reason to suspect that something was different this time.

He went to bed that evening, peacefully resting under his blankets, safe from the pain that was to come.

- - - - - - - - -

Deep in the city, a wife mourns her husband, now unsure of what to do with his body. She had dragged it all the way up here in a carriage she couldn’t afford, just to be turned away without a second thought. She just wanted to return him to his family, as per his dying wish, but now she would have to get creative in order to get their attention.

- - - - - - - - -

Tommy woke up the next day with a pile of papers being set onto his desk, which was not out of the ordinary. However as he worked his way through them one letter in particular stood out to him.

It was from the same person as the day prior, yet again demanding an audience, but this time they had enclosed a letter explaining their reasoning.

“Dear Your Imperial Majesty Philza,

I have important news which I have been instructed to communicate to you. I am of no noble house or lineage, but the message involves an important figure of the empire.

I believe it would be insensitive to communicate this through a letter, so I am, again, requesting an audience.

My message will only take a minute or so to communicate however I believe you may want to extend that time after finding out what I have to say.

I appreciate your understanding and cooperation, and look forward to meeting with you soon.

Kindest regards,
the messenger”

Tommy scoured every inch of the page but could find no further indication of who the writer was.

Under ordinary circumstances he wouldn’t spare a message like this a second glance, but they managed to get this letter all the way to him without a noble status, identification or stamp. The only return address was to what Tommy found out to be a dingy inn somewhere in the capital city, not too far from the palace.

It sparked his curiosity to such a point that he took the letter and generic request from the day prior and presented it to the emperor.

“Why have you brought me this, Theseus?” the emperor questioned, already losing his patience.

“I believe it would be interesting to entertain this proposition-”

“Why?” he interrupts.

Momentarily destabilised Tommy falters, he shouldn’t have done this.

“Well, I am curious as to who managed to get this letter in here, despite having no influence and not even a stamp on the envelope, I think it’s worth hearing them out,” Tommy stammered.

The emperor observed the letter for a moment, his features were schooled into a look of perfect neutrality but after the years of staring into those same blank eyes Tommy was capable of noticing the emperors unimpressed opinion.

He really shouldn’t have done this.

He finally looked up at his heir and disregarded the letter onto his desk, it collided with a pile of other papers.

“Theseus, do you not have more important duties to be attending to? Stop entertaining the whims of commoners who think they’re relevant enough for this kind of thing, you have to get your priorities in order,” Philza asserted.

Tommy nodded and quickly left the room, heart racing.

He was a fool, an utter fool. It was ridiculous to think even for a moment that those letters were genuine, and even more so to think that the emperor would choose to entertain such a thing.

He scolded himself as he walked briskly back to his office, the emperor was right, he had other things to do.

- - - - - -

Despite his father’s certainty that the letters were no different than all the other complaints by the commoners, he couldn’t get the request out of his mind.

It had progressed throughout the evening and in the morning, when he still didn’t have an answer, it had become an uncomfortable feeling that something was wrong.

When a third letter was dropped off at his desk he barely waited for the servant to leave the room before ripping it open and reading it.

“Dear Your Imperial Majesty Philza,

I re-iterate my request for an audience with you and your sons again.

I don’t believe I have adequately communicated the urgency that this message holds, there is only so much time that I can wait before moving on and leaving you with a missed opportunity.

I understand your hesitance to invite an anonymous stranger into the palace, so we could perhaps instead meet in one of your many gardens? This would not be of any issue for me and I am sure that it would allow you to feel more comfortable.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

Kindest regards,
the messenger”

Tommy, again, looked all over the letter and envelope but there was still nothing that might indicate who the letter was from.

He considered his options for a moment. He could try and ask the emperor for authorisation again, but the likely hood of him agreeing was low.

He could perhaps go ahead with the audience without permission. It would have to be with Tommy alone, of course, but at least then he would know what this person was so insistent on telling him. If he scheduled it for a time when the emperor was sure to be busy-

No, no, that was ridiculous, he wouldn’t go against the emperors words like that, the trouble he would get into if he were to be caught would be worse than he’s ever had before.

The itching, bad, feeling curled in his gut. He could perhaps get a servant to meet with them and find out what the message was-

Tommy threw the letter in the bin and stood up from his desk. He wouldn’t be plagued with such thoughts any more. He straightened his posture and walked out of his room, he would take a walk in the garden to clear his head then would return to his duties.

- - - - - - -

Tommy stared at the bin from his bed. It was illuminated by the moonlight, indicating that it was most likely the early hours of the morning, and Tommy could just make out the corner of the letter poking out of the wicker waste-bin.

He hadn’t slept a wink yet.

He got up from his desk and quickly scrawled a reply to the mysterious person. He handed it to one of the guards stationed outside of his door, not Wisp, not at this time, with the strict instructions to get this to the intended address and to not breathe a word about it to anyone.

The guard nodded and strode off down the hallway. Tommy returned to his bed and tried to get some sleep.

- - - - - - -

He was awoken by a knock at his door, which was not unusual, however the fact that the sky had barely lightened since when he closed his eyes indicated that this was not an ordinary awakening. A glance at the clock told him that it had only been about half an hour since he had sent the message.

He got out of bed and opened the door to see the same guard as earlier, now extending an envelope to him.

He thanked the guard and closed the door to open it in secrecy.

“Prince Theseus,

I can meet you right now.

I’ll be waiting at the aforementioned area.

See you soon,
the messenger”

A rush of adrenalin coursed through Tommy’s body, he was really doing this, he was really going to disobey a direct order. He felt an odd thrill as he got dressed, in his most plain clothes for fear of being recognised, and put on his most practical shoes.

As he left his room he was interrupted by the same guard again.

“Prince Theseus, I gather that you’re going to meet someone in secrecy. Please, allow me to accompany you, I swear I will not breathe a word of any occurrence I may witness but please let me follow, for your safety,” he asked.

Tommy considered for a moment but quickly agreed, he didn’t know who the messenger was and for all he knows they could try to kill him, it would be responsible to bring someone with him, and if worse came to worst and he got caught it might be at least slightly redeeming that he thought it through enough to bring security, even if it wasn’t true.

They silently walked through the halls of the castle and all the way outside, walking along the eastern side of the garden to the third gate, named the “Ouranos gate”, he didn’t know why, Greek deity was more Techno’s area of expertise.

There was no one obviously visible as they approached the gate, just a carriage and a few empty crates, they often used this gate to bring food for the kitchens.

“Prince Theseus,” a voice spoke from the shadows.

Tommy whirled around and saw a figure sat on the back of the carriage. The moon was bright enough to cast shadows but this person’s face was shielded by their hood.

“Messenger,” Tommy acknowledged. The person got up off the carriage and faced him but didn’t bow or make any move to remove their hood.

Tommy took the initiative, it’s always good to lead the conversation, Baron Quackity had taught him, “Remove your hood, messenger, so that I might see the person I’ll exchange with,” he stated confidently.

They hesitated for only a moment before pulling their hood back and revealing their face. Tommy was, perhaps unjustly, surprised to see that the messenger was a woman.

She cleared her throat and introduced herself, “I’m Sally, I have some information that I think you would appreciate.” She spoke slowly, as if she wasn’t sure of anything she was saying.

She didn’t say anything further which frustrated Tommy, she went through all the effort of getting the letters to him and now that he’s here she’s not telling him.

“Well, out with it then,” he snapped.

She dropped her head and gestured to the carriage behind her.

Tommy didn’t understand what he was supposed to do but he approached none the less.

She walked back and grabbed the sheet that was covering the contents, he heard the guard behind him take a step closer, most likely putting a hand on his sword.

“I don’t know how to say this, so I’ll show you,” she said as she pulled back the sheet.

Tommy recoiled as it exposed a body, the guard stepped in front of him and held his sword in his hand but awaited orders.

The body’s neck was covered in blue bruises, he had evidentially been hanged. The body didn’t look particularly old but it had certainly been at least a few weeks since his death, Tommy could tell from the smell alone, he doesn’t understand how he couldn’t smell it before.

“What is this?” Tommy blurted.

The person seemed surprised at his response, as if it was a perfectly ordinary thing to show someone a body at 4AM.

“You don’t recognise him?” she questioned.

Tommy held a hand over his nose and stood next to the guard, “Should I?”

She didn’t answer so Tommy stepped forward and examined the body closer. He had an angular face with a pointed chin, a bit of stubble on it. He had sunken eyes, perhaps an effect of being a dead body, which Tommy was struggling to move past. His hair was brown and curly, coming to rest in front of his eye a bit, it was probably a hindrance in his life.

Tommy remembers seeing his older brother blowing away a similar strand of hair all the time when it fell in front of his face.

The body’s hands are bony, he’s tall and skinny.

Tommy forgets about the smell.

He notices something reflecting the moonlight just next to the body’s head.

He reaches in and picks it up.

It’s a pair of round glasses. At first glance they’re ordinary, but when you look closer you notice that they’re not made out of copper, as most glasses are, but gold.

Tommy remembers that his brother had requested that his glasses look ordinary, but their father had insisted that they at least make it out of fine material, gold, just like this pair.

Tommy lifted the glasses close to his face so he could see them better. In the bottom left corner of the right frame, there is a crack in the glass. From where Tommy threw a rock at them when they were playing outside one day.

They were his brothers glasses.

The body was Wilbur.

The realisation hit Tommy like a ton of bricks and he staggered back. He hadn’t expected to ever see his brother again, let alone to see his body.

The guard lay a hand on his shoulder and said something to him, but Tommy couldn’t hear past the screaming thoughts in his head.

He despised his brother for leaving him but he hadn’t hoped for him to die, he didn’t want to see his body, he didn’t want to see him lying in a carriage, eyes closed, never to be opened again.

Nausea grew in Tommy’s body and he barely got to the nearby bush before throwing up.

He felt a hand on his back for a moment before it left. He fell to his knees, still clutching his stomach, reeling from the events that just unfolded.

He heard shouting behind him but couldn’t make out any words. He didn't know if he wanted to. At this moment he would rather curl up on the floor and stop existing, but he couldn’t move.

This was too much, he couldn’t handle this, this wasn’t supposed to happen.

Wilbur left, he ran away, he was supposed to live his life alone, doing whatever he was doing, and Tommy would live his life here and never have to think about him again.

He had been pronounced dead a year ago but Tommy had ignored it, he chose to believe that he was simply hiding, it was easier, he couldn’t lose them both.

He wanted to Wilbur to live, he wanted him to be happy and to marry and have a home, but he also never wanted to see him again.

If Wilbur came back Tommy knew he wouldn’t be able to forgive him for abandoning him when he needed him most, for putting the burden of crown prince onto Tommy’s head.

Could he forgive his body? Should he?

After a minute or an hour or a second, he heard his name being shouted from the garden.

He finally regained control of his body and looked up to see the emperor.

“Prince Theseus, what is this?” he thundered.

“Your Majesty,” Tommy stuttered, trying to stand.

The guard from before came and helped him up, letting him lean most of his weight on him.

Tommy couldn’t speak, he couldn’t explain, he couldn't grasp any of the thoughts inside his head for long enough to form a coherent sentence.

The guard tried to speaking, “Your Imperial-”

“I asked him,” Philza interrupted, “Theseus, if this is about those letters then-”

“Dad it’s Wilbur,” Tommy blurted and tears started streaking down his face.

The emperor was silent. It had been years since Tommy had called him anything but “your majesty”.

“What do you mean?” he asked curtly.

“Sally,” Tommy croaked out. He couldn’t do it, he couldn’t explain to his father that his missing son has been found, dead.

Sally stepped up and gestured to the carriage behind them.

Philza walked to the carriage, Tommy didn’t have the courage to turn around and watch as a widow discovered the death of his child.

He heard a gasp.

A beat of silence.

All the guards that had followed the emperor outside rushed over as Tommy heard the distinct sound of knees hitting the floor.

A grief ridden scream shook the city as the emperor lost another member of his family.

And a choked sob shook Tommy as he lost a brother he wasn’t sure he wanted in the first place.

Chapter Text

Technoblade had been called for immediately, he had raced to the capital on his best horse and had held his youngest brother in his arms for as long as it took the both of them to stop crying.

It was late afternoon on the day that Wilbur’s body had been delivered and the three remaining members of the imperial family were sat in a room in the far east wing of the palace.

Wilbur’s body rested far away, now properly preserved and awaiting a burial.

Sally was sat opposite them, preparing to read them Wilbur’s final wish.

“He-, he doesn’t explain it in his letter, so I’ll tell you. He tried to find out what was going on with unmarked ships at the port and, and he got caught. He had,” Sally scoffed, "supposedly, had a trial, and was hanged, he wrote this the night before.”

Tommy breathed deeply, he had already spent most of the morning crying, but he could feel a lump in his throat already.

Sally cleared her throat and began reading.

“As my last wish I have but one request. Upon my death, I want my body to be delivered to the Imperial Family. While it is not my home any more, I considered it as such for a large portion of my life, and I believe it is the right of the inhabitants to dispose of me however they may see fit. Be it by giving me a funeral worthy of the prince I once was, or throwing me out onto the street, that is the way that I wish to go.
I request this because I do not wish to leave this earth with ends left untied, or ties left uncut. Perhaps in the afterlife I will be able to face the question I have hidden from ever since it became relevant to ask : what do my brother’s think of me now?
If they even stayed long enough to hear this read, I would like to say to them that while I do not regret the decisions I made, I missed you.
Every time I looked up I saw your faces and every time I looked down I wished you were there. If it had been possible I would have brought you both with me.
But this is not the time for ‘if only’s’, this is the time for apologies.
I am sorry for everything I did to hurt you, and everything I didn’t do which got you hurt. If I could have protected you from everything bad in world I would’ve, but now it appears that I cannot even protect myself from my fate.
I was happy, in the time I was gone, I can only hope that you were too; and that decades down the line, you tell me about it when we’re on the other side together.

Sincerely, your brother, Wilbur”

A silence passed over the room

Tears ran down Tommy’s cheeks but he didn’t make a noise, he just stared blankly at the floor in front him.

He had so many questions.

He wanted to know where Wilbur had been, what he’d been doing, was he happy? Did he ever travel overseas? Did he have a job? Did he have friends? A partner? Who was Sally? Why did she know so much about him? What was so interesting about that damn boat?

No words came out of his mouth, he didn’t know if he could handle the answers.

He didn’t want to know any more about Wilbur.

He wanted to know everything about him.

He wanted to forget him.

Why did he leave?

Tommy felt like a child, he wanted to trail behind his older brother where ever he went and sit in his classes with him and not have to think about the lessons being taught because that was Wilbur’s job, he was crown prince, not Tommy.

But Wilbur had left and that responsibility had been put on Prince Theseus. He was supposed to be the youngest. Heir behind Wilbur and Techno and Wilbur’s kids and Techno’s kids, hidden, far away from the throne, not being thrust upon it.

Tommy became aware that the other people in the room were talking, he didn’t care to listen.

Thoughts swam around his head, they weren't racing like there were just hours ago in the garden, if he so wanted he could very easily pick one out and analyse it, but he didn’t. He was perfectly comfortable to just float through his head, flashing images of his childhood passing in front of his eyes. Memories of Wilbur, both when he was alive, and this morning.

Tommy felt numb.

He couldn’t feel his body any more.

He was vaguely aware that someone was talking to him but he didn’t make any efforts to hear, they could speak all the words in the world, it wouldn’t bring Wilbur back.

He was manhandled into a standing position and led out of the room, still staring blankly ahead of him.

He didn’t look at who was leading him, and didn’t worry about it either, if he was being led to a stand to be executed too then so be it.

He wasn’t led to a stand, he was a led to a room.

A bedroom.

One that hadn’t been inhabited for a long time.

It was the twins shared bedroom from their childhood, and the room of countless sleepovers and blanket forts.

This was perhaps Tommy’s favourite room in the palace, but he never came here, it was plagued with too many bittersweet memories.

Right now it was exactly what he needed.

His eyes focused and he looked at the beds on front of him, pushed together to create one big bed that the three of them slept on.

He heard the door shut behind him.

The person grabbed his shoulder and turned him to look at them.

Tommy saw pale skin and white hair and red eyes, “Theseus?” they asked.

Tommy stared into his brothers eyes, there was so much pain in them, who hurt him?

He lifted a hand and cupped his brothers face, he didn’t want his brother to hurt, he wanted him to be okay.

“Techno?” he asked, “what’s wrong?”

A subconscious part of his brain was screaming, he knew, he knew, he knew what was wrong, Wilbur was dead, Wilby was gone.

But Tommy locked that part away, he would acknowledge it later, for now he needed to concentrate on his other brother.

Techno didn’t answer, simply ducking his head and taking a few deep breaths.

Tommy stayed put, he didn’t move, he didn’t speak.

After a moment of silence Techno looked up at Tommy, it’s only now that Tommy realised he was kneeling in front of him.

“Do you wanna sleep?” he asked.

Tommy nodded and let himself be led to the bed. He was sat down on the edge of it, Techno removed his shoes then walked around the bed and pulled the curtains closed.

He heard him get into the bed behind him, then felt him pull at his arm so he would follow and lie down.

Once he was under the covers Techno pulled him close to his chest.

Tommy closed his eyes and pretended that it was Wilbur.

Chapter Text

It had been a week since then. Wilbur’s funeral was today.

Tommy hadn’t gotten an opportunity to ask his questions, Sally had disappeared by the time he woke up the next day, when he asked the emperor about it he was told that she would present for the funeral and that was it.

That was perhaps the only thing that got Tommy out of bed in the morning, other than Techno shoving him out of it (they had continued sharing a bed in their old room, neither of them wanted to be alone).

He put on his mourning clothes and although it wasn’t the exact same outfit as he had worn a few years prior, both for his mother’s funeral and then Wilbur’s first one, the clothes still felt painfully familiar.

He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment, he was supposed to be making sure that there were no creases, but he became hypnotised by his own eyes. They weren’t the same as they used to be.

Before they were blue and bright but as he stared into them right now the only thing he could see was grey.

He looked closer, he wanted to find something, he wanted to see that he was still there, that there was still someone in his body because he wasn’t sure that there was at the moment.

His eyes remained impartial and unfazed by the inspection.

He grew frustrated with himself, it felt like his body was keeping secrets from him, why did he feel like he was locked up when he was free to do everything he wanted? The paralysis that had taken over his body for the hours after Wilbur’s body had been delivered was long gone, so why couldn’t Tommy move?

He was interrupted by a curt knock on the door. It was single knock so it was most likely Techno, “We gotta go,” he called.

Tommy didn’t answer and instead simply opened the door. Techno looked at him for a moment before nodding and leading them down the hallway towards the room in which the service would be held.

He really didn’t feel the need to attend any ceremonies to grieve Wilbur, he still wasn’t sure he even wanted to, but either way he didn’t think hearing people talk about him for hours, things that were most likely false, no one knew Wilbur, not really, he didn’t think that would help.

Tommy and Techno got the final hallway before they would enter the room, Techno stopped and turned to face his younger brother.

“You ready?” he asked.

Tommy simply shrugged, words were much more difficult to wield now a days.

Techno nodded, an understanding passing between the two that no amount of preparation could ever make it easy to face the inside of that room.

Techno turned away and pushed the doors open, revealing a room of people, all dressed in black, speaking quietly amongst each other.

There was a slight lull when they entered but most people did their best to act casual, this was supposed to a private event after all, no one was here for politics.

They walked deeper into the room, quickly being intercepted by some Duke from the south, Tommy didn’t take the time to acknowledge him, leaving that burden to Techno as he searched for his target.

It didn’t help that he had no idea what she might be wearing, as far as Tommy knew she was a commoner so she probably didn’t own any bejewelled dresses like most of the fine women here. However it’s possible that she was leant something to wear today so she wouldn’t stand out in too plain clothes.

He decided that his best bet for finding her quickly would be to look for her hair, the flaming orange curls shouldn’t be hard to spot amidst the sea of brown and white.

Another person tried to talk to him but Tommy ended the conversation after just a few words, because he had caught a flash of whom he was looking for.

He rushed, as calmly as possible, in the direction that he just saw Sally’s hair.

After a moment of searching he caught sight of her again, she was wearing a relatively plain black dress but that had many skirts and a complicated bodice, she had also evidentially been leant some jewellery, she didn’t stick out quite as much as she would have but she was obviously not of the same status as the other’s in the room.

She was alone, and clearly uncomfortable with her current surroundings.

She smiled tightly once she saw him approaching.

“Sally, I have a few questions if you would be willing to answer.” That was more of a courtesy, Tommy wouldn’t be taking no for an answer.

“Sure, do you wanna go somewhere more private though?” she asked.

Tommy nodded and lead her off into a room just to the right of the room they were in previously, it was designed for members of the imperial family to step away from the socialisation for a moment should they need to. It was mostly Techno that used these rooms but Tommy’s sure he wouldn’t mind just this once.

As Tommy shut the door behind them he heard Sally sigh, “I hate this god damn dress,” she complained.

Tommy raised an eyebrow, “Is there something wrong with it?” he questioned.

She shook her head but wasn’t distressed by Tommy’s tone, usually commoners would start trying to take back what they said, but she just seemed happy to be away from the people.

“No the dress is fine, beautiful even, but I don’t really wear dresses, not practical.”

Tommy was slightly destabilised by her level of comfort speaking to him, but it was nothing he couldn’t deal with, “I can imagine it’s quite difficult to move in.”

“It is, and these necklaces are far to heavy and itchy to be comfortable, I don’t know how these ladies do it, do you think anyone will be offended if I take them off?” she asked.

“It depends on who gave them to you but I don’t think so.” This conversation was far out of Tommy’s area of expertise, he didn’t understand the symbolism of jewellery, he only knew there was one, but he assumed that anything Sally did could be interpreted badly considering the fact that she was a commoner in the palace, so Tommy didn’t think it was too much of a risk.

“What questions do you have?” she asked as she began unclasping the necklaces and placing them gently on the low table in front of her.

Tommy sat down opposite her and searched his mind, he didn’t know where to start.

“Who were you to him?” he settled on.

She smiled and began speaking, “I was his fiancée. Or, wife I suppose. The night before he was to be hanged I snuck myself and a priest into the cells and we got married right then and there. That’s also when he wrote the letter for you. But I was a fiancée for him longer than I was a wife, so it still feels odd to say.”

Tommy had been expecting something like that, perhaps not wife but partner, but it didn’t shock him too much.

“What-” Tommy tried to phrase his question properly. Sally patiently continued to remove the jewellery that she didn’t like, she didn’t pressure him or tell him to spit it out, she was kind.

“What was he doing the whole time he was gone?”

Sally smiled again, it seemed no matter what the subject was, speaking about Wilbur made her smile. It was rather sweet, Tommy thought.

“We lived down south, in a place called L’Manberg. It’s a really nice place, although the authority ruins it. We were happy though, we were really happy. He, he worked as a steward for a Baron, and it was actually that guy who ended up getting him killed unfortunately.” she spoke with nostalgia dripping off her every word but what surprised Tommy was that she expressed very little grief.

“You were happy?” he asked. He needed confirmation, he just needed to be sure that he heard right and that even if he hated his brother forever for leaving, at least it wasn’t all for nothing.

Sally nodded, “we were,” she said softly.

Tommy didn’t know what his next question was, he didn’t even know if he had one.

He sat and processed for a moment, Sally didn’t say a word, didn’t rush him.

“So,” he started, but found himself unable to speak over the lump in his throat.

Sally spoke quietly, as if she was afraid of him shattering into a hundred pieces on the floor if she spoke to loud, “Do you want me to just, talk about him?”

Tommy considered for a moment, he might just break down upon hearing his name, but he couldn’t go any longer with the mystery of who his brother was still remaining unsolved.

Tommy nodded.

“Well, we met after he nearly drowned. He was in a shipwreck, I found him on the sand and dragged him inside. We didn’t get on at all at first, we hated each other, in fact, but he didn’t have anywhere to go and I-, I wanted to help, so he stayed. We lived together for a long time.”

Tommy settled further into his chair, listening intently.

“We slowly got along better and better, we ended up kind of begrudgingly friends, co-dependent, really. I didn’t have any friends, before him, so the company was nice. Then as things progressed we got closer and closer, he stopped being so spoilt. That was quite a large part of his, journey, I guess, he used to expect everything to be handed to him on a silver platter. He wasn’t afraid of work, far from it, he just always expected his work to pay off immediately and when it didn’t he got mad, but he grew past that.”

Sally spoke without judgement, even when talking about things that were clearly a problem for her. She seemed to have some kind of infinite patience, Tommy liked her.

“He bought me a guitar. It was after he broke my one, but still, it was a nice gesture. We would often just stay up late passing it between us and playing for each other, that’s probably where the romance started to be honest.”

She had donned a far away look, clearly reliving the time when he was alive, Tommy wouldn’t dare interrupt her even if he wanted to.

“We would just sit without talking, just playing in turn. It’s stupid but, I feel like our most important conversations, happened on nights like that.”

She was silent for a moment, frowning, Tommy didn’t speak.

“I-, I was gonna say that a lot of things went unsaid between us but, I don’t think it really was. I think we just didn’t communicate with words.”

She brought her knees up to her chest and curled up on the sofa, readjusting her dress to cover her, Tommy suspected that it was an excuse to think for a moment but didn’t comment on it.

“We, um, we only really said the words- said ‘I love you’, a couple times. I could probably count it on one hand, but, but we meant it really often. Like, I can picture in my head all the times he’s looked at me in that way, and I just understood what he was saying.”

Tommy can picture the exact look she’s describing, when he used to smile with his eyes more than his mouth, it had invoked a deep feeling of safety within Tommy, but it was only now, when Sally said it, that he understood what it had meant.

His eyes met Sally’s, both glistening with tears. He didn’t expect her to say anything but she spoke again, her voice thick.

“He talked about you. A lot. He would, he would tell me about how you followed him around, how you laughed louder than anyone he had ever met. I could picture you in my head years before meeting you. Not only what you look like but also who you are. I know that you’re kind, that you’re careful too, he told me about how you are with butterflies, I don’t know if you still are but apparently you were very passionate about treating them properly.”

The tears had started running down Tommy’s cheeks but he wasn’t really crying. He was hanging onto every word Sally spoke. Maybe the answer to how he felt about Wilbur would lie in how Wilbur felt about him. No one saw that soft side of him any more, so Wilbur’s vision of him was someone who was lost in the past, but trapped inside of him at the same time.

“He, he would sometimes sit quietly for a while and I would see this little smile on his face, after a while I understood that that usually meant he was thinking about you. It was sweet, how often he just sat and wondered how you were. It wasn’t always happy though. Sometimes I would wake up and hear him crying, it was his biggest regret, you know, not bringing you with him.”

Sally looked up at him and held such conviction in her eyes that Tommy knew that even if the gods themselves told him she was lying, the next words out of her mouth would be true.

“He missed you.”

Tommy broke down.

He buried his face into his hands and let it all out. He was quiet for the most part but his body shook with every sob, like he physically couldn’t contain the grief inside of him, screaming to get out in a cathartic release.

Sally got up and walked around to him, pulling him into her arms.

In a few minutes they would stand and leave the room, attend the ceremony and say their final goodbye.

But for now, they held each other, and grieved in privacy.

Chapter Text

The tears hadn’t stopped streaming down his face since his talk with Sally, they had considerably subdued but they had been consistently carving a trail of grief down his cheeks for half an hour now.

They showed no signs of stopping anytime soon as he stood in front of the large oak double doors, Techno by his side and the emperor by his, waiting to push them open and begin the ceremony.

Wilbur’s body had been moved up to be put in a casket. It was made of acacia wood, it had been difficult to source as that tree didn’t grow in the Empire’s harsh winter climate but they wouldn’t have any other wood, acacia was Wilbur’s favourite.

Silence enveloped the room as emperor Philza pushed the door open and let everyone into where the ceremony would be held.

As Tommy went to find his seat at the very front of the room, closest to the body, he looked at the room around him.

It was quite simple, plain walls, a few flower arrangements placed strategically to avoid leaving too much empty space, a deep blue carpet down the centre of the room leading to a raised platform with the casket on it. The casket had a freshly built bust on it, of Wilbur of course. This was probably the part where Tommy would say that it captured his likeness well, but he didn’t know.

He didn’t know if the artist had perfectly reflected the sunshine in his smile, or the depth of his eyes or the curve of his nose. He didn’t know what his brother looked like any more.

So he avoided looking forward at all, instead planting his vision at his feet, no one would judge him, he was at his brother’s funeral, he could look wherever he wanted.

The people quietly took their seats behind him, all shuffling along the carpet to their seats. Tommy heard footsteps approaching from his other side and looked up just in time to see Sally smiling and sitting down next to him.

This confused him at first, he didn’t understand why she hadn’t walked up the middle with the others and, as wonderful as he found her, he hadn’t expected her to be seated with the imperial family. Sally didn’t seem preoccupied by the seating and simply adjusted her skirts into a more comfortable position, so Tommy didn’t question it.

The room fell completely silent and someone walked up to the front, dressed in large robes, and began speaking.

It was almost the exact words they had uttered a few years ago. It felt bittersweet to know that last time he had cried like this over his brother, he had been fine and living a happy life just at the border of the Empire. This time there was no doubt, Wilbur was not playing the guitar with Sally or sleeping peacefully or working hard, he was dead.

Tommy sat in silence as people went one after the other and spoke about Wilbur, they were all speeches comprised of random compliments and poetic words that didn’t really dig into who Wilbur actually was, but Tommy wasn’t all too offended by that.

He had refused the request for him to give a eulogy, stating that he didn’t think he’d be able to speak, which was probably true, but the real reason why he wouldn’t do it was because he had no idea what he would say.

Just like he didn’t know what his brother looked like, he didn’t know who he was either.

He was secretly hoping that Sally would be speaking, because she would know what she was saying. Of everyone in the room Tommy was of the opinion that she probably knew him best.

After a dozen people had spoken Tommy had started to lose hope.

The Duke that had been speaking stepped down from the podium, he had talked about grief and regret and whatnot, nothing interesting. Tommy’s heart beat faster as he felt movement from beside him.

He was momentarily disappointed when he realised it wasn’t from Sally but from his other side, but he quickly got over that disappointment when he understood that Techno was speaking.

Despite Techno’s distaste for diplomacy and public speaking, he had a way with words. Tommy wasn’t supposed to know that but he had a journal which he regularly wrote poetry in, he had left it in the library a few years ago and it took a few pages into the book before Tommy realised he shouldn’t have been reading it, but he had already started so he ended up staying awake hours longer than he had planned, reading Techno’s words.

Tommy had seen it lying around a few times since then, so he knew Techno still wrote, although he hadn’t read it again.

His eyes stayed fixed on the floor but for the first time since he had sat down he listened intently to what was being said.

Techno cleared his throat.

“I know none of you were expecting me to speak but, I thought it would be fitting to tell you a bit about who Wilbur was, when we were children.” there was a faint tremor in his voice but he powered on.

“I think we need to be honest with ourselves and say that Wilbur was not an easy person. His reasoning was hard to follow and even when you thought you knew his intentions, he would have something else up his sleeve; but what remained consistently obvious in Wilbur, at least to me, was his need to love, and be loved back.” Tommy tightened his grip on his trouser leg, he knew already that this speech would stab him right through the heart.

“It sounds sappy, I know, but I truly think that under all of his confusing intentions, that was all he really wanted. He always had a penchant for family, when we were really young we would sneak out into the city together, he said it was for the thrill but we both knew it was because we liked having the time alone with just each other.” Tommy’s eyes stung with jealous tears, he wished that he had had the opportunity to have a relationship with his older brother.

“When Theseus was born it originally put a rift in our relationship, the shift from having all of my attention to sharing it was difficult for him, I think, but he quickly got attached to Theseus too.” Tommy held his breath as Techno spoke about him.

“From then on he did everything he could to be a good older brother, he’s the one who taught Theseus to read and write years before he was supposed to learn, just so that they could send letters under each other’s doors.” Techno cited memories Tommy didn’t have. Tommy couldn’t see through the tears clouding his vision, his blood rushed through his body, he felt angry.

“He never really enjoyed physical activity, but when I started to be interested in the stables, he made such an effort to come out with me and show interest in what I was doing, even though you could tell that he was not enjoying any of it.” Techno was smiling, laughing through the thickness of his voice, why couldn’t Tommy do that? There was no bright side for him, all he got was a dead brother and a grief he didn’t understand.

“All this to say that while I don’t think anyone really understood Wilbur when he was alive, which is most likely what drove him away, he wasn’t a complicated person. He was a just a person.” Techno hadn’t finished speaking yet but Tommy stood up abruptly and started leaving the room.

He could feel every single person’s gaze burning through him as he fled the room. He couldn’t stand to be in there with all those people who didn’t know Wilbur and yet pretended to, just to get a seat in the palace for a day.

Tommy didn’t know where he was going but he stormed past guards and rooms and gardens and columns for a few minutes before suddenly stopping in the middle of a hallway.

He needed to think of the best place he could go where he wouldn’t be found.

He could turn around and go to the library but that was too obvious, his bedroom and office were too far away. He wanted to go to the butterfly conservatory but he didn’t want to risk being followed out there.

Before he could make a decision he heard footsteps running towards him, they were heavy and were accompanied by the distinctive sound of the buckles on Techno’s boots clinking together.

Tommy started walking again, away from Techno, he still didn’t know where he was going but he wasn’t going to stand there and be cornered by the stronger man.

“Theseus!” Techno yelled as he caught up with him and tried to grab him on the shoulder.

“Go away Technoblade,” Tommy fumed as he pulled himself out of his brother’s grip and continued storming down the random hallway, as if his destination was of utmost importance.

“Theseus,” Techno snapped as he grabbed him again, this time hard enough that Tommy had no choice but to stop and face him. He wouldn’t be scared though, he would face him with all the pride in the Empire.

“I said, go away Technoblade,” Tommy asserted once again.

“I just want to talk to you,” Techno seethed, ironically kind words for the harsh tone he spoke them with.

“I don’t want to talk,” Tommy said as he ripped himself from Techno’s grip and walked away again.

Techno kept pace with him but didn’t try to grab him again, couldn’t he just take a hint? At this point it wasn’t even a hint, he had the whole answer, he was just pretending not to see it, it infuriated Tommy.

“Did I do something?” Techno asked.

“No,” Tommy answered coldly.

“What did I do?”

“You knew him!” Tommy shouted as he turned around to face his brother who had been shocked into silence by Tommy’s sudden outburst.

“You knew him and you have memories with him and you got a childhood and I got nothing! I don’t remember him Tech!” Tommy’s voice was breaking.

“I want my brother back! And I never even had him! And now I’m supposed to grieve this brother I never knew and I’m jealous, I’m jealous of you, because you can forgive him!” The rage was seeping out of Tommy’s body and was being replaced by helplessness.

“I’m trying to forgive him but I can’t, I just- I keep hating him,” he finished with tears streaming down his face once again.

He realised he had gotten very close to Techno as he was shouting, but Techno hadn’t said a word, simply allowing him to shout it all out.

Once he finished he simply opened his arms and allowed his little brother to fall into them.

Tommy buried his face into Techno’s chest, he didn’t know if he was sobbing or if he was silent, he had completely lost the grip on his body, being fully supported by Techno’s secure arms around him.

“You know, you can forgive him but still hate him,” Techno murmured.

Those words would guide Tommy along the difficult path to forgive his brother.

Years down the line, looking out of a window at the stormy sea outside and wondering how Wilbur felt when he was being thrown around by the waves; he wouldn’t hate him any more.