Chapter Text
Gordon's still reeling as they step out of the GameStop. While playing video games has calmed him down, it's still a lot to take in. Not only did he know Benrey as a child, but it was Black Mesa that separated them. That's the part he keeps getting stuck on, remembering how Benrey had wailed in his arms, telling him how they begged not to be taken away. He despises Black Mesa for doing that to them, and the fact he was once part of that organization makes his skin crawl. It's a good thing Benrey suggested trashing stuff, because there's an anger inside him he needs an outlet for.
"What's first?" he asks, a smile on his face despite the dark thoughts occupying his mind.
"Music," Benrey declares. "You think we can blast," they pause to dig out their CD case, flipping through it to show him the Quiet Riot CD contained within, his smile turning into a grin. "This over the PA? I want a soundtrack to my delinquency."
"Man, who gave you such fucking amazing taste?" Gordon marvels. "Fuck yeah, we can hook this up to the PA."
After some searching, he spots a service entrance beside the GameStop. The McDonalds he'd worked at had been in a mall, so he has some idea of how the back corridors in a mall work, and he knows it'll take him to the PA system.
After Benrey unlocks the door for them, they're able to head inside. The corridor is lit by a cold fluorescent light, the floor made of a linoleum that doesn't look like it's been replaced since the place was built. The air also smells like trash, and Gordon nearly gags, hurrying Benrey along until they reach an elevator.
Luckily, it's in working order and doesn't need a key card. Soon, they find their way into the office overlooking part of the mall, which also doesn't look like it's been renovated since sometime around the mid-eighties. Sure, the computers are modern, but the rest is all yellowing plastic and worn down carpets.
While Gordon looks around for the PA, Benrey rushes forward to press their hands to the glass window looking down upon the mall below. With a smile, he leaves them be.
It takes some time to locate the PA, and even longer to puzzle out how to operate it. Gordon isn't much of a tech guy, and while Benrey could probably jailbreak a PS4, that won't help them here. The audio player itself is still an old analog with a CD tray, probably too expensive to change the whole thing. God bless capitalist America. After figuring everything out, Gordon gives Benrey the honor of pressing play. Soon, the first few riffs of Mental Health start echoing throughout the mall.
"Now I feel like I'm in a proper eighties movie," Gordon says with a grin. "Only need a headband to complete the look." Nevermind that the ridiculous t-shirt Benrey gave him kinda destroys the image he's describing.
"Yoooo I could KILL someone to this hahaha," Benrey says with a slightly maniacal laugh, their hands pressed to the glass again. "Let's hit that place," they point to a spot down below, a sporting goods store from the looks of it. With a toothy grin, they give Gordon a playful shove and say, "Race you," before taking off towards the elevator.
Gordon barks a laugh before sprinting after them. He knows Benrey's humoring him by keeping themselves at a human speed, but his competitive side kicks in anyway, and he does his absolute best to catch up to them. It's a lost cause, of course, and when he stumbles into the elevator Benrey is already there, grinning at him like a shark.
"You're such a cheat—" Benrey doesn't give him the time to finish his complaint, grabbing him by the front of his jacket and pressing him up against the mirrored glass of the elevator. A surprised moan escapes him, which Benrey takes advantage of by shoving their long tongue as deep inside his mouth as they can. Boxing him in, he feels their hips grind into his, and despite having gotten laid barely an hour ago, his dick springs to life. Either this is the effect of the honeymoon phase, or he's ingested far too much orange sweet voice lately.
A groan escapes him as they grab his ass, his hips rolling to meet theirs. Just as he's getting into it, the elevator dings, and before he knows it Benrey's left him hot and panting while they sprint ahead.
A beat passes before he knows to follow, something deep inside him telling him to run and chase. Humans are hunters, after all. He sprints across the polished floor, at times coming close, but never close enough to catch Benrey. Skidding around a corner, he sees them disappear into the sporting goods store, his blood pumping hot through his veins. There's a thrumming beneath his skin that tells him to go, follow, hunt. Before he knows it he's followed them into the store, his eyes darting around in search for them among the shelves.
"The fuck did you go, you absolute tease?!" Gordon shouts, a hint of laughter to his tone. "Come back here and finish what you started!"
Benrey doesn't take his bait. So it's a game, then. Fine. They'll definitely cheat, but that only means Gordon has to try even harder to find them.
And so the search is on. He keeps quiet as he creeps through the store, which he's aware is unnecessary since Benrey knows where he is no matter what. But sneaking is half the fun, and he's enjoying himself immensely, tip-toeing around and jumping out of corners in hopes of being allowed to catch Benrey. No such luck, however. After a while Gordon starts to wonder if they're even here.
He's just about to give up when someone grapples him from behind and pushes him up against a wall. Panic jolts through him, momentarily afraid they'd missed a zombie and it just got the drop on him. Of course it's nothing so nefarious, and the familiar press of Benrey's hard body against his back has him pull in a surprised gasp.
"You want this? Huh, pussy?" Benrey taunts, their voice taking on a quality both rough and slightly manic at the same time. "Get your blood pumping, get your dick hard. Wanna break something, get that testosterone flowing? Maybe grab a weapon, idiot."
Benrey's words wash over him like hot water, making heat pool in his stomach. It's true, he does want to go wild, to grab something and smash it to pieces. As the music sings about banging his head, Gordon feels the sudden need to bang things in general.
The pressure at his back vanishes, teleported away by the feel of it, and it's like they take his breath with them. Before he has the chance to regain it, there's a loud crash that has him whipping around in time to see Benrey kick over some racks of soccer balls. They whoop and cheer as the rack goes crashing into several others, destroying everything too weak to withstand the weight of several metal shelves toppling over one another.
"I DO CRIME NOW!" Benrey yells with a maniacal cackle, pulling out a metal bat and swinging it as hard as they can into a nearby mannequin, hitting it with such force that it flies across the room and crashes into a nearby display with a satisfyingly loud sound.
Watching them creates this buzzing under Gordon’s skin, enhanced by the bass from the music still streaming out of the speakers overhead. Looking around with wild eyes, he finds some motorcycle helmets with dark visors. In a moment of inspiration he puts one on, mind swimming with images of the faceless killers Benrey likes so much. That it'll also protect him from losing an eye doesn't even factor in. Finally, he grabs a wooden baseball bat and gets to work.
"Want me to fuck some shit up?" He shouts, flipping down the visor of his helmet and stalking up to a glass display case. "I can fuck shit up."
Firmly planting his feet on the ground, he grips the bat, rearing far back in a stance that would've earned some praise from his high school gym teacher, smashing the case into a million glistening shards. The sound's muffled, but the feeling sends a shockwave through his body, crackling like electricity below his skin. It reminds him of the feeling he'd gotten watching Benrey fight earlier.
Only now, Gordon's invited to join in, and he doesn't have to watch from afar. It's an amazing feeling, spurred on by his anger towards Black Mesa. More than anger though, he feels free, like he could do anything! A laugh rips out of him as he slams his bat into another pane of glass, one after another, shelves toppled over and racks torn down from the wall.
The cacophony joins the sound of Benrey's own destruction nearby, causing even greater property damage with their talon-like claws. The instant he glimpses them, it sends a jolt directly to his dick, even as a bolt of fear runs down his spine. They've grown bigger—nothing like the beast that rampaged the streets earlier, but grown to an imposing height. Fabric is ripped to shreds, mannequins brutally dismembered by hand before getting chucked through the windows which shatter in a brilliant display of violence.
Not wanting to be outdone, Gordon finds a pair of scissors to stab every ball he can find scattered around the store, watching in satisfaction as they pop and deflate. While not as brutal, it's fun regardless, and he gets so drawn into the task that he doesn't notice what Benrey's up to, if they're even still here.
Until a large hand grips his neck, and he's thrown down amongst the tattered strips of fabric strewn about the floor. There's a moment of panic, except this time, he isn't comforted by the sight of Benrey's warm, honeyed eyes, but a featureless hockey mask. A panicked gurgle escapes him, hands shooting up to claw at the hands holding him by the throat. It's the feeling of their hands in his that's so familiar, the scream threatening to break free morphing into a gasp, then a moan as Benrey rocks their hardness against him.
Despite knowing who it is, the fear doesn't fully leave him. They've yet to speak, and without seeing their face he only has their behavior to go by. He knows it's them, it can't be anyone else. But behind the dark visor of his own helmet, the world grows distorted, Benrey's features shrouded in darkness, the curls falling over their shoulders like tendrils stretching out towards him. The doubt has fear welling up inside him like a clogged sink.
This is wrong. The helmet that once felt like a protective barrier is suddenly claustrophobic. With Benrey's hand around his throat, Gordon feels like he can't breathe. Gasping, he starts to writhe beneath Benrey's weight, sucking down a mouthful of air as he fumbles for the helmet and chucks it off.
Suddenly, the pressure around his throat is gone, replaced by a soothing hand rubbing at his tender skin. "Shit. You okay?"
It's Benrey's voice that brings Gordon back from the verge of a panic attack. He wants to cry and hates himself for it. They're having fun, destroying things like wild animals. Why does he have to be weird and ruin things? Why is he afraid? It's Benrey, his Benrey! It's stupid, so fucking stupid.
"M-Mask," he rasps. "Take it—Take it off."
Benrey doesn't hesitate for a second. The mask is ripped off without a care, mussing up their hair as they launch it hard enough that it cracks against a toppled shelf corner. Gordon winces at the sound, glancing at it before looking back up at Benrey. Their face is flushed, strands of hair falling into their eyes. The sunny glow is what finally calms him. They're warm, soft… concerned. This is Benrey. Not even his stupid brain can argue otherwise.
Grabbing onto Gordon's hands, Benrey directs them up to their face. "It's good," they reassure him, stroking over the backs of his fingers with their thumbs. "Just Old Man Jenkins, woulda… gotten away with it too."
Despite whatever joke they're making, Gordon sees the alarm in their eyes, and he wants to reassure them that he's okay, but that's a lie. Fear has warped his perception, and not for the first time. Certainly not the last, either, and that kills him inside, to know that this will likely happen again. That they'll look at him like this again. That he'll ruin their fun again, all for stupid shit like this.
But how can he express any of that without upsetting Benrey anymore than he already has?
"Hi," he breathes. A joke should suffice. A smile and a laugh so they won't worry so much, that this isn't such a big deal. The sound that comes out of his mouth sounds more like a sob than a laugh, though. "Fuck…"
Benrey's going to misunderstand, think they've done something wrong. When it's Gordon who's wrong, Gordon who's stupid and weak. He hates that they're looking at him with such worry, that their touch is so gentle. He doesn't deserve it. Doesn't deserve the sympathy.
"Sorry," he says, pushing up his glasses to hide the tears threatening to spill. "Stupid ass prey response. I know it's you! I have object permanence!" The last part comes out as a frustrated groan. Suddenly, the whole day's worth of events start to weigh down on him, and he finds himself utterly exhausted. "Guh! You win. You caught me. I'm a small terrified little thing and now I'm your problem. You can start by cuddling me. Gordon needs pets."
Good, he's managed to get some humor back into his voice. This is easier, to let himself be small, vulnerable and pampered rather than pretend he knows what the fuck's going on inside his brain.
"Gordon," Benrey says, smoothing their hands over the sides of his face. He has to stop himself from batting them away. He's allowed to want to be touched. "You didn't do anything wrong. 'S me bein' weird, my dumb kink shit, even though you said you didn't want it. The Jason experience. Sorry."
Guilt wells up in Gordon's throat as he stares up at them with wide eyes. "Fucking… no, Benrey. I wanted to—It was fun. All this," he gestures towards the destroyed store. "I needed it too, I just… I wasn't prepared for—It doesn't matter."
"You matter," Benrey's quick to say, and the words are enough for the tears to overflow in Gordon's eyes.
Luckily they don't say anything more. Instead, they kiss his temple, then his brow, down to his cheekbone where they lap up his tears before trailing down to the corner of his mouth. Gordon lays still as they do this, only moving to kiss back when they finally reach his lips. While still feeling like crap for having ruined this moment, it helps knowing Benrey isn't mad or annoyed with him because of it.
Strong arms wrap around him, lifting him up into the air. It's only now that he realizes Benrey's yet to shrink back down to their normal height. It's actually really nice. Even if they're far from as big as they were earlier today, it still makes him feel small, in a good way. Which is a feeling he could really use right now.
"This is good," he tells them. He doesn't explain further, and though they glance down at him with a blank look, they don't ask him to. As they carry him out of the store, he presses closer, wraps his arms around their neck to nuzzle into the skin there. It smells like Benrey and that calms him down further.
Soon enough, they reach somewhere to stop at, where Benrey places him down on the lip of the fountain by the entrance. Here, they take off their black cardigan to drape over his shoulders, and he pulls it tighter around him. It feels like something you should do, shock blanket and all that. Were they trained to do this? What were they trained to do, besides pushing buttons and asking for passports? The thought is wiped away as they lean down to press a kiss to his lips.
"Gimme a sec, brb," they speak low into his lips, before teleporting away. Gordon's left confused as to why, until suddenly, the music stops. The mall's once again filled with a quiet that feels almost eerie now, filled with nothing but the steady ambience of the fountain water.
Sitting here with this silence is unnerving, the fear building inside him with every second he's left alone here. Though he does his best to battle it down, it isn't until Benrey pops back in beside him that he's able to relax fully. Tugging their sleeves down over their knuckles, they sit down beside him, placing an arm around his waist. He leans into them, tucking his head beneath their chin.
For a while, no words are spoken. Benrey's thumb rubs over his side, their thin lips pressing kisses to the top of his head here and there. He wishes he could listen to the flutter of their pulse, but they don't have one. The best he gets is the soft puff of their breaths.
"I liked it, smashing stuff with you," he eventually mumbles. "Even liked the whole big, feral thing you had going on. It's hot. Like earlier when you were hunting those peeper puppies, I—I liked watching you. It's just… When I couldn't see your face, I…" He trails off, licking his lips before burying his face into Benrey's shoulder. "You can't just do that, man, I thought—I have to know it's you. So much keeps scaring me, you can't…"
"No masks, comprende," they say, reaching up to stroke his hair. "Sorry. Don't wanna be bad, friend. Wanna be good. No more scary. Got carried away… no excuse, dumb shit. I'm sorry."
It feels bad hearing them apologize like this when Gordon still feels like it's all his fault. But now that he's several degrees removed from that situation, he's able to think more clearly about why Benrey's so insistent they've done something wrong. He still thinks he should have been able to handle it, though. That he should've been able to tell them to knock it off. It's not like he's scared of Benrey anymore… right?
"Can go beast mode on another mall, later?" Benrey offers. "No mask, just me, uh…" They pause for a second. "Seven feet tall. Or more. Fuck like stupid on the floor. Whatever you want."
Benrey's suggestion sends a shiver down Gordon's spine. There is something very alluring about having Benrey chase him down with the sole goal to fuck him. Maybe with the proper preparations, when Gordon can get into the right mindset that it won't scare the fuck out of him like this did.
"Maybe—Maybe we could try it outside?" Gordon says. "You could grow as big as you want. We just have to make sure the area is secure, and then… you wouldn't have to hold back. I think—I think I'd like to see that sometime. Like when you fought the Golem Ape. I was scared then, but I wouldn't be now."
Another shiver goes up his spine at the thought, and he presses a little closer to Benrey.
"Or, I mean, I think I'd still be scared, but in, like… a good way? Maybe. I dunno. I'm weird. Monster fucker energy." A laugh escapes him, cheeks heating up from having admitted that much. "It's your fault for making me like this. I was almost normal before, you know. Only watched some weird hentai. Then you showed up all fifteen feet tall, tentacles all over, glowing eyes and sharp teeth and now I get off on the thought of my boyfriend hunting me like a deer through the woods."
"Think… you were always a perv," they tease, kissing the top of his head. "You and your uh. Bad Dragon Twitter follow."
The teasing has Gordon laughing, wriggling against their hold as they start to shower him with kisses. The worst part is that they're probably right. If you're "normal", you make do with some tentacle porn on a Saturday and call it a night. Not him, though. No, he only needed to hear that his nemesis had tentacles before he was bending over begging to be taken then and there.
He can almost sense when Benrey stops teasing and starts mulling his suggestion over. There's this shift in the air, Benrey's soft stoner aura giving way to something more primal and dark. That it doesn't spark more fear inside him is a relief. Or, at least, the same kind of fear. This is excitement, anticipation, like riding a rollercoaster up to the top of the track. There's the adrenaline rush as your body prepares for danger, at the same time knowing you won't get hurt because you're strapped in and kept safe.
That's the kind of fear he wants to give into when he's with Benrey. The one that's fun, crazy, and makes him giggle instead of cry.
"Is it… can I be big now?" Benrey tentatively asks, their fingers nervously flexing. "Trial run, uh, fifteen day money back guarantee… just a little big as a treat? See how you feel, get comfy cozy. Do whatever you tell me to. Whatever's good."
It's a good thing Benrey's the one to suggest it, because Gordon's been thinking about that, too. If he could handle it, if he would like it. Once upon a time, the sight of Benrey so big had terrified him on the spot. Now? Well, he's seen them stretch out a few times and handled it just fine. Surely he can handle it now.
"Yeah," he breathes, face still hidden in their shoulder. "Do that, just… wait, can you hold me while you grow? Is that a thing, or will something bad happen?" Lifting his head, he looks up at Benrey, watching them chew their lip.
"Uh, it's kinda weird. If you… close your eyes, less… weird?"
"Alright, eyes closed," he says, even if his natural scientific curiosity demands otherwise. "I promise not to peek."
Benrey pops their lips, looking around the room for a moment before saying, "Okay. Uh… hold on tight, please."