Chapter Text
For a reason Gordon can't discern, Benrey's decided to sulk. Not that it's against some unseen rules or anything, nor is it even the first time this has happened. But he just can't shake the feeling that they're doing this to punish him. He can't just endanger all of them and then go demanding hugs, even if Benny's gracious enough to give him one anyway. Despite the warmth of their gentle embrace, it doesn't quell the hurt he feels seeing Benrey turn away from him.
Was it really only a few hours ago that Benrey had laid here beside him, singing love and promise of protection into his very being? Are those feelings still there? Or has he finally managed to fuck it all up?
No, that's just the anxiety talking, the same kind that causes him to make rash decisions.
Only once he's seen the tension leave Benrey's shoulders as they're tugged into the realm of sleep does he untangle himself from Benny. Grabbing a nearby blanket, he wraps it around himself, holding it up for Benny to climb under it with him. They fit nicely against his side, hesitating as they struggle to figure out where to place their hands.
"Sorry I left you alone," Gordon mumbles. He turns towards them, burrowing his face into their soft, silky hair. "Are you okay?"
Glancing down to where Benrey is curled up at the foot of the bed, Benny makes a face. "I… I don't know," they admit, their eyes downcast. "I… I just… I didn't know if you were coming back…" With a low whine, they press closer to Gordon. "…O-Or what I would do if… you didn't… i-it's not fair to do that to me."
Behind them, the CD player moves on to its next track, Walking After You.
A fresh guilt bursts in Gordon's chest. While Benrey got injured, they're not in pain and only seem to be nursing a bruised ego, while Gordon's lucky to have gotten out alive. Benny, though? While untouched, the fear they must've felt is insurmountable compared to the rest of them. He should have stayed to keep Benny safe, and if Benrey had died, he should have helped Benny deal with the aftermath.
"I'm sorry," Gordon says. "I—I can't promise not to die, but I can promise not to do something so reckless ever again."
A small part of Gordon wonders if this stunt was just another gun to his head. Even if the inciting incident was different, was this just another way out? He's happier than he's ever been with Benrey and Benny, yet he still carries so much guilt. But, like Benny said, that wouldn't be fair to either of them. They don't deserve to carry that much grief.
One hand cups Benny's cheek, turning their face towards him. "I'm not leaving you like that ever again. Okay?"
They duck their head, retreating to bury their face in his neck again. With them safely tucked under his chin again, Gordon strokes over their back, feeling the soft texture of their shirt. "Just… um… If you, break your promise I'll be, um, really upset. And cry." Their threat pulls a low chuckle from him.
"I'll take responsibility, I promise," he mumbles into their hair.
The two of them remain there for a while, just relaxing in each other's arms, until, finally, Benny picks their head up again. "Um, I… I can drive… us, to… Denver. I think you should rest. And, um, eating—eat plenty. Or… um, how much do you need, to, eat?"
"Uh, three meals a day, usually," Gordon says. "With snacks in between if I'm working a lot."
Benny nods. "That… makes sense," they murmur. "So—Um, I'll, drive us somewhere with… with kitch—a kitchen. It won't be… far. We're, um, right outside… Denver."
"Are we?" Gordon says. "Well, that makes it easier. You want some company while you drive?" He can rest just as well in the passenger's seat as he can back here, and… up front, he won't be faced with Benrey turning their back on him, filling his head with all kinds of noise.
"Please," Benny says. "I—Um, I don't… like driving. But it's… um, I think, I would… like it more if, um, someone was there, with me. That would make it okay, I think…"
"Then I'll sit with you," Gordon decides, gently nudging them with his elbow. "Thanks for stepping up like that earlier, it was very brave of you."
Benny smiles, sitting up and looking over their shoulder to where Benrey is still curled up, fast asleep. Their hands are folded up by their face, cheek squished against them, blue drool dripping down over their skeletal fingers. Benny smiles a little brighter, before looking back over at Gordon, where their smile begins to wane.
"Can I ask you a thing?" they say, hands clasped and nervously twiddling their thumbs.
"Of course," Gordon says, curious as to what this could be.
"What… would have happened if Benrey didn't make it? Would there be… more of me? Where would they fit?"
The question gives him pause. Of course Benny thought about it, how could they not? It's a sign of higher intelligence to ponder the matter of your own existence, especially when your own birth comes from another's death, even if only temporary.
"If—If Benrey would have… not made it," Gordon begins, "There would have been another skeleton, yeah. I don't know how it works, but… it wouldn't be another you, there's only one Benny. And, if that had happened, I guess we'd need a bigger car to fit them, since of course we'd take them with us. Because that's how it's supposed to go, I think. That's one way your species reproduces, and you deserve—you deserve to exist. That's what I think, anyway, and I'm pretty sure Benrey'd agree with me."
What he doesn't say is that one of the reasons he ran off to help Benrey not die was to prevent their propagation. Now really isn't the time to introduce a new member into their little group. As much as he loves Benny, having them join the group had complicated things in an already complicated situation. Things should stay as simple as possible until they get to the safehouse.
As Gordon speaks, Benny pays close attention, their eyes flicking across his face. A slow nod is their response, their heart-shaped lips parted thoughtfully as they turn to look off to the side for a moment.
"I'd… like to meet someone new," they say, speaking slowly, as if they're still developing this opinion as they speak it. They even nod, as if finalizing and committing to this idea. "To… help a new me become, whole, and see what happens."
Though he doesn't feel the same way, he can understand the sentiment. To have… more of Benrey and Benny's species would mean more people to share their unique existence with, more people to understand their language, more people to love. If Gordon were the only human on a remote planet, he'd probably be thrilled over the opportunity to meet more humans.
"But…" Benny glances back at Benrey to ensure the other alien is still asleep. There's an inky black tendril curling up their wrist from under their sleeve, attaching to the bone and forming bits of muscle. More of the same is likely going on beneath the blanket. "Sometimes I dunno if they like me and… don't, I don't want more… problems. It's all a lot, sometimes." Benny lays their head down on Gordon's chest, lightly rubbing their cheek against the fabric of his shirt. "It doesn't matter."
Oh. With a new person, someone they could help with their unique perspective, Benny would have someone to relate to that doesn't act too hot and cold with them. Someone who could speak their language the way Gordon can't, who could fully understand what they're going through, who has more sexual compatibility. It hurts to know Gordon can't do those things for them, but the reality is that even with all the changes he's going through, he never will.
"Hey, hey, it does matter," Gordon protests, cupping their cheek and turning them to face him. Their soft blue eyes flick over his face. "It's not—It can't be easy, becoming a person with no one to help you. This is all new for Benrey, too, and they aren't always… great at handling new things. But they do like you. They just need time to get used to all of this. And, who knows? Maybe someday you will get to meet another skeleton, and when that happens, they're gonna need all the help they can get to make them—to make them whole."
Picturing Benny in such a caring role is easy, much easier than Benrey. And maybe, with the pressure off Benrey, they'll handle a new addition much easier.
"Okay," Benny says. "Thank you, for… um, for… I don't know. I feel better now."
Gordon smiles at that. "Glad to hear it," he says.
A slow nod, and Benny says, "Um, if… if they… if they're, turn out like… no, nevermind. Should we, get going, now?"
"Yeah, let's get a move on. Head on up to the front and I'll teach you to drive properly, so we can let Cinderella over there have their beauty sleep."
Lifting themself up, they stare over at Benrey, before pulling the blanket off themself to cover Benrey in it. After hesitating just a moment, they lean in to kiss Benrey's cheek, freezing when the other alien turns their head away from it, making a sleepy noise before settling again, fast asleep. Benny hesitates again before grabbing the seal plush and setting it within Benrey's grasp. The plush toy is snatched up and cuddled against their face in record time. The whole thing puts a smile on Gordon's face. Yeah, if a new skeleton ever appears, they'll be in good hands.
With a soft smile, Benny clips into the driver's seat, while Gordon sneaks out of the van as silently as he can. The keys are still in Benny's possession, tucked away in the pocket of their overalls, and they take them out now. Staring down at the metal resting in the center of their palm, Benny lifts their head to stare out the window, at the big, grassy field and expansive river before them with a longing gaze. Gordon follows their gaze, mourning the loss of this place. It's a nice spot, but… too dangerous.
Benny closes their hand around the key, reaching out to slot it into the ignition. As the car starts, Gordon gives them a few pointers on how to back up, showing how to use the mirrors and what to look out for. Benny is already a decent driver, if a bit cautious. He has to keep encouraging them to speed up, something that takes a while for them to do without immediately taking their foot off the gas. The act of turning takes longer than it should when Benny's overly cautious about not turning too hard or fast, but luckily there's no other cars on the road to contend with, so it's not the biggest deal.
With Gordon directing them, their tension over every little thing eases much faster, and by the time they've been driving straight for a while, Benny has relaxed almost completely. Still, they can't come close to how natural Benrey looks while driving, sitting up with both hands on the wheel instead. They've driven for around thirty minutes before something hits Gordon.
"Hey, do you know where we're going?"
Gordon's question has their lips parting, wide eyes blinking before glancing over at him—very briefly, as they can't seem to permit taking their eyes off the road for very long.
"…No," they admit, speaking in a meandering mumble. "Benrey was… directing us to Denver. Which is, um, coming up… next. I don't know about… beyond that."
Denver… is that where Benrey's friends are? It's near the state border, so, maybe. All they'd have to do is hole up somewhere safe while Benrey recovers, and take it from there. Maybe knowing they're so close to their friends will cheer them up out of the funk they've fallen into. He relays these thoughts to Benny, who nods and diligently continues driving.
The city comes up on them quickly afterwards, as Benny slows to drive around a curved section of road, overcompensating for the bend. It takes them over a bridge, which appears to stress Benny out until they're finally into the city proper. Many square buildings pass them by, mostly high towers, though they pale in comparison to the skyscrapers deeper into the heart of the city.
For now, there's a lot of greenery, but as they dip deeper into the city, that all disappears. Instead, the streets are colorful, and a lot of the lights still work, keeping a pleasant atmosphere going. It's a beautiful city, even as empty as it is. Gordon's never been, but now he wishes he had. So many interesting places to visit… in another time. Hopefully the people got out okay.
The few aliens sprinkled about are occupied with their own little games, some feasting upon dead birds, vermin, or the occasional human corpse, but overall, it's a far cry from where they started, where the streets were lined with bodies and everything was in disarray. It makes sense, the epicenter of the Resonance Cascade had been in New Mexico, so the farther away they get from it, the more time people have had to flee. And there are survivors around here, Benrey talked to them just a few days ago.
Here in Colorado, it doesn't look so bad; there's signs of a struggle with bullet holes in the sides of buildings, old blood stains, and shattered glass, but actual corpses are exceptionally rare, and it becomes more apparent as they continue on.
They've barely gotten very deep into the city at all when Benny has to slow to a halt—a wall made of barbed wire fences and concrete road blocks prevents them from going any further. Gordon's heart leaps into his throat at the sight of the blockade. He's seen this kind of thing enough to know what it signals. On the other side, no aliens can be seen, and the shops look maintained, yet it's still devoid of life, just like everywhere else.
"Um," Benny starts, as the car is left idling in place. Their arms straighten out, tense, and their eyes flick back and forth. "What. Do I do?"
Instinct tells him to turn around, find another way forward. It's not safe here, not for any of them. And he's already used up all his dumb luck today in the fight with the giant headcrab. Better to retreat and regroup.
"Back up," he instructs. "Turn around, and find an alley out of sight. We're gonna… lay low for a while. We need Benrey's input on this." Scanning the road up ahead, Gordon looks for any sign of movement or activity, finding nothing.
"Uh… okay," Benny meekly replies, fumbling before figuring out how to back up the van. It takes some added instruction, but eventually, they manage it without damaging anything; they just have some trouble breathing steadily from the stress of it all, which eases after they're back on the road normally.
Driving parallel to the blockade reveals it keeps going down every street, blocking the inner city. Still no movements on the other side. Benny turns to get farther away from it, driving with some unknown sense of purpose before pulling into an alley as instructed.
"There's… a café right there," Benny says, indicating the building on Gordon's side, where there's a back door next to an industrial sized garbage bin. A few headcrabs are hopping around inside, fully absorbed in their dumpster diving. Other than that, the area is clear. "Um, and, apartment upstairs."
It's a good spot. Even if instinct urges him to bunker down in the van, an apartment will give them a much better vantage point.
Benny switches off the ignition, waiting a moment as if making absolutely sure the car is actually off before taking the key out and slipping it back into the pocket of their overalls. After glancing back at Benrey, Benny looks up at Gordon with big eyes, tension evident in their posture and expression. He wants to reassure them, but he feels that same worry reflected in their eyes.
"Good job, bud," he says, struggling to keep his composure in his voice. "This is perfect. Get the door open for me, and I'll carry Benrey up."
After Benny's phased out of the car, Gordon quietly follows. The headcrabs nearby lift their little heads to investigate, only to scatter as he steps around the back of the van. Pulling open the doors, he's greeted to the sight of Benrey's slumbering form cocooned in several blankets, a small puddle of blue sweet voice drooled onto their plush. Seeing them like this, it strikes Gordon just how young they seem. With their gaunt face and hooded eyes, it's easy to forget they're roughly the same age as him.
Carefully, he gathers them up, blanket and all, mindful not to jostle them. They stir, making a small noise of protest before pressing their face into his shirt. Tenderness wells up in his chest at the sight. At least he still gets to hold them like this, with them burying their face in his chest like nothing at all is wrong. He can pretend they're not mad at him for the shit he pulled earlier.
More than anything, he wants to hold them tighter, to press a kiss to their brow and lay his head down over theirs. Instead, he heads for the door Benny's unlocked for him. As they lead him down a short hallway, they continuously look over their shoulder, continuing to do so as they guide him up a flight of stairs into a small apartment.
In a word, it's… cozy. Lots of pillows, art hung on the wall, and tasteful decorations scattered all over. There's a living room, a doorway leading into a small kitchen, and a bedroom in the back, or so he assumes. The only thing that shatters the illusion of this being a cute hipster apartment he'd find on pinterest are all the dead or wilting potted plants. The sight of those put a frown on Benny's face, turning away to peek into the kitchenette just to wrinkle their nose at the smell of rotten food.
"We'll stay here until Benrey's feeling better," he tells Benny. "We'll figure out what to do after that."
Wanting Benrey close by, he places them down on the couch before sinking into an armchair nearby, where he can look out the studio window over his shoulder, overlooking the roads outside. Though he barely gets the chance before Benny closes the curtains on all of them, visibly relaxing once they're done.
"Hey, come on," he says, reaching out and placing his hand on their bicep. Their eyes are clouded with worry as they turn to look down at him. "It's gonna be okay. As long as we're together, we're unstoppable."
They turn to stare at Benrey, still fast asleep. A stream of cyan to yellow sweet voice parts Benny's lips in a mournful tone, followed by cyan to black in a tone that's even worse. It's easy to tell what they mean even if Gordon couldn't directly translate any of it—he's worried about Benrey, too. Not only that, but the conflict between him and them that's yet unresolved. Not to mention what's going on in this city, whether that's past or present, he doesn't know.
"Sorry, bud. Can you use your words?" Gordon gently asks. "Don't know those colors yet." Even if he could guess, he'd rather they tell him how he can help.
At first, all Benny does is whine. It's clear they feel more eloquent in sweet voice, and he feels bad to put it on them to translate.
"Sorry," Benny mumbles. They fumble with their words for a moment, producing several aborted sounds before cutting themself off with a sigh. "I just wish Benrey was awake. That's all…"
It's been maybe an hour, not much for a nap after everything Benrey went through. That doesn't stem the flow of black sweet voice from Benny's mouth, now coming out in a constant stream of one note not terribly unlike the whining of a dog missing its owner. The sound breaks Gordon's heart. He can sympathize, he misses Benrey, too, especially with so much left up in the air.
"I know, bud, I know," he says, letting his hand fall back to his lap. He watches over Benrey, the way their chest slowly goes from eerily still to breathing more visibly. "Me too. But, they—The fight took a lot out of them, and resting will make them heal up faster. And we want Benrey in one piece, don't we?"
Benny chews their lip as Gordon speaks, a streak of black sweet voice dripping down their chin like they're trying not to interrupt. Reaching for their hand draws their attention back to him.
"Let's just find something to do while we wait, alright?" Gordon says. "That way, the time will fly by, and Benrey'll be back to their usual, annoying self in no time." Glancing over the room, he takes in their options. There's a TV on a minimalist stand with rows of DVDs on the shelves, and a small collection of books he's pretty sure aren't merely decorative. "We could watch a movie, cook dinner, or you could draw them something nice, maybe. A 'get well soon' card, or something."
The word "draw" freezes Benny in place, a bead of sweet voice forcing their mouth open. It's yellow, a color Gordon's never known to be good—but this one's different. Yellow-orange? Gold? He doesn't know how to interpret it, but it's different from what he's used to seeing.
His thumb strokes over the back of their hand as he says, "Hey, talk to me. What's wrong?"
"Um—" Benny starts, suddenly unable to look his way at all. "I… I-Is it okay for me to… nevermind."
A frown pulls at Gordon's features. "It's okay, you can pick whatever you want," he tells them, only for them to glance towards him and quickly away, spewing more yellow-orange sweet voice. "I'll take anything at this point, I just want to get my mind off things."
"You—" Benny starts, quickly aborting their speech and placing their free hand on their chin in a nervous gesture. It takes them a long time to express what they're trying to say, as though the act of speaking will get them killed. Gordon merely tries to be patient, even if he's itching to get a move on, to quiet the noise in his head with some good food or a dumb movie, anything. "I thought… Wh-What if I draw something… wrong? Wuh—Will you burn it again?"
Gordon freezes in place, right as panic floods Benny's expression, and they pull their hand out of his stiff grasp to cover their face, turning fully away. Guilt twists in Gordon's stomach. He has to swallow down the tears threatening to well up in his eyes as he realizes just how badly he's fucked up.
"Sorry," they blurt, slightly muffled by their hands. "S-Sorry, I… It… sorry…"
Jumping up, Gordon takes a cautious step forward, wincing a little as Benny curls in around themself like a frightened animal. "No," he says, gently placing a hand on their shoulder. They're stiff, and he gently rubs over their upper back in an attempt to soothe them. "No, no, no. Don't—It's not your fault, okay? It's…" Inhaling slowly, he looks around, his eyes falling on the plush armchair on the other end of the couch, mirroring his. "Hey, come on. Let's sit down, okay?"
Tentatively, Benny peeks out from behind their hands, nodding slowly and allowing him to guide them over to the chair. Once they're sat perched on the edge of the chair like they're in trouble at school, Gordon places himself on the edge on the coffee table.
"I… shouldn't have done that," he says. "At least not without talking to you first. I'm sorry. It's just that… those people you drew last night, they come from Benrey's memories, right?"
"I… I don't know," Benny admits, their hands clasped up by their chin. Their eyes dart over to Benny, then down to Gordon's knees. "I was… I don't know."
"It's okay," he says. "Those people… they were the ones who—who hurt them, back at Black Mesa." Benny looks up, surprise and guilt reflecting in their eyes. "Seeing them… seeing them brought back a lot of memories. And it's not your fault!" He quickly adds, hoping to wipe that horrified look off their face. "You couldn't have known that they—It doesn't matter. I burnt it to protect them, but I shouldn't have done that without talking to you first. I'm sorry, Benny."
Slowly, Benny nods, ducking their head down to hide their mouth behind their hands. Their eyes are averted off to the left, away from Gordon and Benrey. For a while, they don't speak, and Gordon waits as patiently as he can, trying not to worry about what's going on in their head.
"I… I'm sorry I…" Benny stops, gently shaking their head. "No, I mean… I… I understand. I didn't know… who they were, just remember… I just remembered some faces, and, I wanted to… try drawing a pe—drawing people."
"I know. It's okay," Gordon reassures them, as they give him a slight nod. Though they still look guilty, at least they seem to agree with what he's saying, to some degree. "No one blames you, not even Benrey, I promise." Soft blue eyes flick towards him and away.
"Um… really?" Benny asks, a spark of hope appearing in their eyes. Gordon does what he can to build that hope.
"Of course," he says. They hadn't seemed mad at Benny last night, and they spent so much of today playing with them like nothing was wrong—so clearly, nothing is wrong, right? Feeling fairly confident about that, he reaches out to ruffle Benny's hair, chuckling when they whine and bat his hands away, looking much lighter once they're done fixing their hair. "Benrey loves you, I know they do. If they were really mad at you, I think you'd know it."
They do have a pattern of behavior when they're upset. Blank looks, a lack of enthusiasm, halfhearted jokes, straying from affection… and so on. None of that has been on display towards Benny today.
Even Benny seems to believe that, cracking a soft smile at his words. "Um, okay," they say. "Will you… um, please don't do that… again. Talk at—Talk to me, please?"
"Of course, sweetheart," he says, reaching out to brush some stray strands of hair out of their eyes, their smile growing a little wider as he does so. "You can draw whatever you want, okay? You're really good at it. Don't let me discourage you."
Benny nods, looking much lighter than before. "Okay," they say. "I… um. I will."
The two of them sit there for a moment, neither sure what to do or say. Every now and then, Benny seems like they want to say something, but they close their mouth again. The silence is easy for Gordon, sitting observing the light purple coloring Benny's cheeks or the ring of cyan in their eyes that every now and then catch his before quickly looking away. They're truly beautiful, in a whole other way from Benrey, despite the similarities.
"Um… do you… can we, um, movie? Watch a movie," Benny says. "Gotta be… quiet, or they'll wake up." Despite them saying that, glancing over at Benrey reveals they're deeply asleep, no longer whining over every noise that happens around them.
"A movie sounds like a great idea," Gordon says. He pats their knee before pushing up to his feet. "Pick one out and we'll settle in to watch."
They redirect their attention to the TV across from them, where there's a few shelves with DVDs set up nearby. Getting to their feet while Gordon returns to his own chair, Benny removes their shoes, setting them neatly beside the armchair before kneeling in front of the shelves. The selection is limited, and while they have more movies in the car, Benny makes no move to get them. Instead, they settle for digging through these ones, taking their time reading plot descriptions on the back. A lot of time. Gordon tilts his head, wondering if they have trouble reading somehow.
Eventually, they end up with a movie they spend an extra long time reviewing, before getting up to show it to Gordon. "Is this okay?" they ask, handing him the case to 50 First Dates.
The choice has him smiling softly. That's yet another difference between the two aliens. Considering the movies Benrey left behind in their last safehouse, it's easy to say they're not keen on romantic comedies. Gordon isn't overly fond of them either, but he doesn't dislike them. It might actually be the best option after the excitement of the last couple days. Something simple, where the biggest threat is embarrassing yourself on a date.
"That's perfect, bud," he tells them.
While they're setting up, Gordon tracks down the remote and figures out how to work it. Soon, the lights are dimmed and the movie starts up, with Benny curling up in their chair across from him. While the movie's playing, Gordon does his best to follow the plot, though his mind is scattered and weary. The premise of a person with short term memory loss that the protagonist has to woo over and over again can be seen as sweet, but to Gordon, feels creepy. It's like gaslighting, although he couldn't explain why.
The creep factor keeps him focused for longer, but around the halfway mark, his eyes start to grow heavy, and when the protagonist's ruse is revealed, his head lolls onto his shoulder and he falls asleep.
- ♡ -
As the movie starts playing, Benny greets it with a gentle smile and total optimism. This dies the longer the movie goes on for. After the love interest's disability is revealed, Benny starts to frown, and their discomfort for the movie's plot only grows as it keeps going. Still, they remain totally engrossed, not noticing Gordon's fallen asleep. They've snatched up one of the pillows off the couch and are hugging it against their chest, claws kneading the fabric, their frown having transformed into a look of concern and mild distress.
As the credits are rolling, they softly mumble all their thoughts on the movie's plot and the ending, which felt like some sort of horror movie-esque nightmare, and not the sweet romanticism it should've been. Gordon's lack of response or reaction tunes them into the fact that he's not awake, glancing over to see him softly slumbering away. Benny sighs, swapping to expressing themself in some gentle, quiet sweet voice so as to get their feelings out without waking anybody. As Benrey would say it, that movie was major sucks.
Now alone, Benny gets up to fetch the remote, ending the credits before there can be an after-credits scene that will feel even worse. Moving stealthily, Benny digs through the movies for another to watch. They end up finding one that piques their interest; the cover shows what looks like two male/female couples, but the girls are holding hands behind one of the men's back.
Benny looks back at Benrey, then Gordon, both fast asleep. A stream of pink sweet voice escapes them before they move to replace 50 First Dates with Imagine Me & You, after which they return to their armchair, fumbling with the remote to get the movie started.
The frowning they'd done during the first movie is absent here. They're totally engrossed in this one, too, except every now and then, they hum various colors, expressing their deep involvement in the drama happening on screen. There's some pink and yellow as certain scenes of the female leads fluster them, then their purple-pink equivalent of an "aww" when the two women finally kiss. By the end of the flick, they're practically beaming at how the movie leaves things for all the characters involved. A happy stream of green-purple-pink-blue erupts out of their mouth in a gentle hum.
With the movie having drawn to a close, Benny finds another to put on, finding something called Good Luck Chuck that seems like another romance movie. They don't spend too much time reading the back of the box, though they spot something about a hex? Well, if it's magical, that sounds like fun!
Oh how wrong they are. It doesn't take much time at all before Benny finds themself disheartened by what they're seeing on screen. They haven't been alive for long, and they don't have too many memories from Benrey, but even they can see this for what it really is—misogynistic. Not to mention just generally mean spirited.
Something has them wanting to stick through it anyway, like they've committed, and can't turn it off? But they really can't stand watching it. The boredom gets to them, leading them to sit on the floor before the couch, their sketchbook, pencils, and watercolors on the coffee table. They spend the length of the movie drawing, filling a page with cute little doodles, all inspired by the frequent glances they keep sending Benrey's way. Hopefully Benrey wakes up, soon.
Looking up, they find the movie back on the main menu. Benny doesn't know how long it's been since the movie ended, but their artwork is done, now just needing to let the paint dry. Pushing the book aside, they start putting everything else away.
It's been enough time now that Benny feels they should all eat something. Benrey's still fast asleep, and Benny intends to leave them that way until a meal's been prepared for them to scarf down. It's what's best for them right now.
Facing Gordon, they ponder how they're going to wake him. Though they've experienced cooking in a few different mediums and lenses, they don't feel confident heading into the kitchen full of stinky, rotten food and preparing anything on their own. They'll need his help on this one.
So they set about the task of rousing him peacefully, starting first with tapping his arm, then gently shaking his shoulder. Though he stirs, he doesn't rouse, prompting Benny to start gently patting his face.
"Um, Gordon…?" they say, jumping back when he suddenly stirs with a slight snoring sound, looking back and forth before finding Benny.
"Benr—" he starts, cutting himself off as he glances to the couch, squinting at Benrey's slumbering form. They're more skin than skeleton, now, their healing nearing completion. Rubbing his eyes, he adjusts his glasses and looks at Benny once more. "Benny? Fuck, I didn't… how long was I out?"
Benny takes a steadying breath before responding, "About two hours. I, whuh—Watched another movie. You was, uh, you were, looked tired so I let… didn't do, uh, so you sleep." They pause, flustered over their fumbling of that last sentence. "But, uh, you, time for… eat now. So. Get up and eat now. Please."
The corners of Gordon's lips quirk into a smile, and he lets out a soft chuckle. "Food… yeah, sounds like a plan."
With their hands clasped together, Benny waits for Gordon to get up, placing his hands on the arms of the chair and pushing to his feet with a groan. Stretching out his limbs, he spots the book sitting on the coffee table, stepping past Benny to bend down and inspect it.
"Don't, um—the paint's wet, don't pick it up," they urge. With a nod, he leaves it alone, though he still looks over the drawings they've made, the page filled with cartoon seals, some sleeping or lying around, others playing.
"These are so cute," he praises, much to Benny's satisfaction. They perk up, face turning purple as they quietly start to purr. "Are those for Benrey?"
"Um, maybe," they say. It would make for a nice gift, if they could frame it nicely enough. Does Benrey want a gift from them, though? Even if they're seals? A warm, square hand finds its way into their hair, cradling the back of their head so Gordon can give their brow a kiss.
"That's very sweet of you," he says. They lean into his touch, gazing dreamily up at him. Then, his gaze finds the movie still left on screen. "Is that… Good Luck Chuck?"
The disgust in his voice matches the curling of his lip, brows furrowed in worry. "Um, yes," Benny says. "I… I didn't really…" They hesitate to say they thought it was bad, even though they did, because it was. But that's mean, and they don't want to be mean. "Why didn't he just kiss the goth girl? It didn't make sense."
A curious look comes over Gordon's face, before he turns to give them a sly smirk. "Oh? Are you into goth girls, Benny?" he teasingly asks, causing heat to flare up in their cheeks.
"Huh?" they blurt, slightly panicked. "Uh… I don't… um…"
He kisses their temple again, before finally taking his hand away, grabbing onto theirs, instead. "Come on, sweetheart. Let's go make some food," he says. With a soft sigh, they relax, getting up to follow after him.
Once in the kitchen, the both of them wrinkle their noses at the scent coming out of the fridge.
"Game plan," Gordon says. "You fetch the meat from the van, and I'll do something about the stench, check if there's anything useful."
Though they hesitate for a long time, reluctant to leave the apartment, Benny nods, taking halting steps away from the kitchen. Outside the doorway, they vanish from view in the blink of an eye, reappearing inside the van. The cooler is tucked away in the back, and Benny pulls up the handle to drape it over their arm. They're about to leave when they reconsider—Benrey needs proteins exclusively, but that doesn't mean they're only going to want proteins.
Carefully searching through their supplies, they find some of the snacks they got at the mall, sorting them into a cloth grocery bag. By the time they're done, there's several cans of sodas, six different chocolates and four bags of gummy candy. Being able to eat without consequence tends to make Benrey gluttonous, and with snacks, it isn't that big of a deal to burn through them. Gordon needs more than just this. Or so Benny would guess, considering everything they've packed is total junk to them and Benrey.
With everything gathered and draped over their arms, Benny pauses. Paranoia has them checking their surroundings with every sense they possess, but everything points to the area being completely safe for the three of them. Still, there's a nasty feeling they can't shake.
Teleporting back inside, they deposit everything on the island counter in the kitchen. Now that they're no longer out in the open they exhale the breath they'd been holding, relaxing considerably. Their wide, curious eyes glance around, taking in the cleaning Gordon's done and the food he's managed to scrounge up. Potatoes which have only sprouted a few eyes, slightly wrinkled carrots, a bunch of onions, even a bulb of garlic. The smell still lingers, but it's lessened by the opened window above the kitchen sink.
"Um, hi," Benny says, drawing Gordon's attention away from where he's been staring out the window, looking restless "I'm, um, back."
A startled teal escapes Benny as they're enveloped in Gordon's arms. "There you are," he says, as Benny melts into his embrace, hands coming up to rest on his back. "I was just about to go looking for you. What took—" his eyes fall on the extra bags they brought. "Oh. Is that—are those for Benrey?"
Benny looks over the containers they'd brought. "Snacks for Benrey," they confirm. The alien in question is still slumbering away, unmoved save for a few shifts of their limbs. here's more Benny wants to say, but they express it in sweet voice, warm pink to a pale, leafy green.
Though Gordon doesn't understand, he nods at their humming, a keen smile on his face. "That's a really good idea," he says. "They're gonna be thrilled there's junk food involved."
Pressing a kiss to Benny's forehead, he pulls away to go investigate their supply of food. There's a spice rack to salvage the taste of anything that doesn't come out quite right, though Benny doesn't know what any of it is. A lot of them look the same. They pick up one bottle, struggling to read the unfamiliar word for a moment before realizing it says—Oh. Blushing, they put the shaker of cumin back on the rack.
"Let's make a roast," Gordon suggests. "It'll take awhile, but Benrey needs their sleep, anyway. Besides, it'll be worth the wait."
They nod at his suggestion, not knowing what a "roast" is—some kind of turkey dinner, maybe? Where will they get the turkey?—but they follow his instructions with total confidence in his ability not to lead them astray. He instructs them on how to prepare the vegetables, leaving the meat up to him to cook. One of the bigger slabs of meat gets prepared with garlic, salt, and pepper.
"Um, Gordon?" Benny shyly asks, prompting him to approach them with curious eyes. "Am I… I feel like I'm doing this wrong?" The veggies aren't looking quite right, not to mention how they keep sliding away or ending up in a bunch of unmanageable pieces as the layers peel apart. It's not quite as cute and neat as a cooking video would've been.
"Here," Gordon says, taking their hand and sending a tingle up their forearm, warmth lighting up their cheeks. "Lemme show you a little trick I learned back in college."
Guiding their hand, he chops up the remainder of the onion they're working on, swiftly turning it into a pile of neatly chopped pieces. It looks so much better than the clumsy, and tiny, pile they'd struggled over, barely getting through one onion before the stress became too much. Picking up one of the little chunks, Gordon holds it to his face for a smell test, before offering it up to Benny.
"Try it," he says. "It'll give your tongue a bit of a sting, but you won't notice that once it's cooked into the roast."
A sting sounds very awful, but Benny decides to trust him. It doesn't seem normal for humans to eat things that prick their tongue, so they're probably just misunderstanding how bad it is. Leaning forward, they part their lips to let him place the onion in their mouth. It's not very big, so there's not a lot to chew on, but that turns out not to matter much as the taste bursts over their tongue. It's odd, like the coldness of mint but sort of spicy? They don't get it, but what they do get is that this is the "sting" Gordon mentioned. Beyond that, the taste is intriguing, and they can see how it would pair well with other things.
"It's good," Benny says. Luckily he doesn't offer them another, likely knowing better than to give them more of the sting. He's smiling warmly down at them, looking bright as he helps them chop up the rest of the veggies. They copy his every move, swiftly becoming neater and more efficient.
As they work, Gordon keeps letting them sample more things. Not just that, but as they're putting everything together, he lets them sniff the bottles of seasoning to get a feel for them, explaining what each one is best for, when to use them, and how.
It's as he holds up a freshly seasoned piece of the elk meat for them to sample that they really start to melt over this treatment, gazing up at him with warmth in their eyes and shivering a little as his finger brushes along their lip. He's so close, leaning forward to where they can practically taste his breath. He looks into their eyes, and as his hand pulls away, it inches towards their cheek, where they lean into his palm, completing the gesture.
But for a moment, Benny sees something else. It's brief, nothing more than a glint of light of the setting sun off his glasses that looks so familiar, and they're pulled right out of the moment. With a pulse of anxiety in their chest, they look away.
"Sorry," Gordon says, and meal prep resumes.
There're no more things to sample, just a roast to place into the oven and wait patiently for. As they do, they poke their head into the living room to check on Benrey before returning to the kitchen, where Gordon sits at the round dining table, looking restless. This calms down soon after they join him, though he never quite settles. Benny wonders if they'll ever see him fully relax, or if there'll always be a hint of tension to his posture, a look of fear in his eyes, however small. The first time they ever…
Crossing their ankles, Benny sits politely, staring at the tile floor near their feet. There's something bugging them, but every time they risk bringing it up, they chicken out. It's never the right time, either. Too much going on, a moment too peaceful to break… but after what just happened between them in the kitchen, they can't hold it in anymore.
Yet, they can't let it out, either. They can't conjure up the right words, can't break the silence. And then, they no longer have the chance to.
Gordon speaks up. "Hey, so… you don't have to answer this if you don't want to," he says, turning towards them with his arms folded on the table. "But I wanted to ask you something, now that Benrey isn't around." He looks them in the eye, a gaze they can't return. "How much do you remember? From… from before, I mean."
Benny pauses. Before when? Before their creation, probably. But that's a rather nebulous period in time, spanning too many years for them to know which one he's asking about. Maybe… they grab their satchel from where it's been hanging off the back of their chair, taking out their sketchpad. Inside, they've filled maybe ten pages, so there's not much to go through before they find what they want.
The first drawing they hold up for him depicts two elderly scientists, though their labcoats aren't prominently displayed in favor of focusing on their faces. One wears glasses and is scowling, while the other has a bright smile on his face.
"I, um, remember these two," Benny says. "But I don't remember names."
"That's Bubby and Coomer," Gordon says, a slight fondness to his voice as he leans closer to observe the artwork. The rest of the page is filled with further attempts to capture the likeness of the two scientists, some better than others. "What do you remember about them?"
"Um, not a lot," they admit, setting the book down so he can look over it more. They point at the bespectacled scientist. "This—Benrey likes this one. Um… Dr. Coomer?"
"That's Bubby."
"Oh," Benny says, looking a little embarrassed. "Um, sorry. I can't remember… um, but, I remember they, um, they wanted… they told Benrey to—to slap you on the ass?" Their blush grows deeper as they recall that information, just for Gordon to burst out laughing, a hand pressed to his mouth to keep the sound muffled.
"Oh my god, of course he said that," Gordon says, his laughter turning to wheezing as he calms down. "It doesn't surprise me. They were always whispering about something…" He trails off, an uncomfortable look coming over him. The reason why is lost on Benny, but they decide not to ask. Gordon shakes his head. "So you remember Black Mesa?"
"Um, kind of. Not… not very much of it."
Turning the page reveals a page full of doodles, mostly soda cans, all brands that Black Mesa kept stocked in their vending machines. There's a few headcrabs, one drawn realistically, the others cutely with very round bodies and stubby, friendly pincers. In addition to all this is a drawing depicting a man with neat black hair and bright yellow eyes. He's wearing a party hat while holding a can of Sprite Cranberry.
"This is Tommy, I think?" Benny asks, looking up at Gordon for confirmation. "Birthday boy?"
The drawing brings a sad smile to Gordon's face. "Yeah, that's Tommy," he confirms.
They nod, setting the sketchbook down on the table. A minute passes in silence with them staring down at the image, worrying their bottom lip with their teeth.
"Benrey doesn't like… when I bring him up," they say, picking up the sketchbook and using it to hide the lower half of their face. And then, finally, it's all coming out. "Tommy… shot, me. Because of… you. I can't figure out why you did that. You're so nice to me, I don't know what I—we, Benrey, did. We're, they're your best friend? And you played together? But you wanted to kill them. Even though it was you that made them bad? Or made them worse… I don't know. I'm sorry we were bad. I don't want to be bad."
Guilt strikes Gordon like a slap to the face, the look on his face making Benny want to apologize, but they can't get the words out. It's already so much, they want to curl up and cry just for saying such awful things. But they have to know. If they're going to stick around, getting so close to Gordon, they have to know that he isn't a bad person. That he isn't like those bad scientists they drew.
Gordon closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, opens them again. Though the sadness in his eyes persists, he's collected himself enough to respond calmly and clearly. "You're not bad, Benny," he says. "And neither is Benrey. We—Back there, at Black Mesa, it was the worst thing I've ever had to go through, and… and, I needed someone to blame. Benrey, they were… I didn't understand them, what they've been through. I just thought they were…"
Gordon trails off, his voice wavering, tears welling up in his eyes that he's quick to wipe away. Though Benny wants to jump up and comfort him, they hold firm, wringing their hands instead. This is important. They can't interrupt now.
"I was wrong, Benny," he continues. "I was so fucking wrong, and I'll carry that guilt with me forever. That's why—That's why I had to help them, back at the camp, because… because they shouldn't have to fight like that anymore, especially not alone."
Tears well up in Benny's eyes upon hearing that last part, a few stray pearls of orange and blue sweet voice escaping them as they duck their head behind the sketchbook, leaving only their eyes visible. That's what they wanted to hear, and with proof to back it all up. Burning the drawings that upset Benrey, then rushing out to protect them from harm… the man who turned Benrey's best friend against them wouldn't do all that. At least in Benny's eyes, Gordon's changed, and for the better.
"Okay," they say, sniffling a little before rubbing their eyes dry on their sleeve. "Thank… thank you. They… deserve help. Even when they're being not-nice, is when… they need the most help."
A smile tugs at Gordon's lips. "How did you end up so mature?" he says. "You're right. I… think that's something a lot of people could stand to learn, compassion. Wish I'd thought of it earlier."
He ends that last part with a laugh, and the topic moves on. More drawings get shown and explained to Gordon, though the rest are mostly pictures of things they've observed recently. Bugs, birds, flowers, a few messy, clumsy sketches of Benrey or Gordon's face in profile. Once they're done, the two of them head back to the living room.
Their footsteps are soft, nearly silent, against the carpet as they step inside, as is Gordon's sigh as he gazes upon Benrey's slumbering form, where they're laid drooling blue all over their plush seal. Apart from their newly reformed hands and the appearance of color to their previously sheet-white skin, there's not much about them that looks different. Carefully, Gordon brushes a few stray strands of hair from Benrey's brow, where he presses a gentle kiss.
That's where he kneels, placing his head on the couch cushion where he can watch Benrey sleep for a moment. Benny understands. It's a soothing activity to watch someone sleep, especially when you're as worried about their health as they both are right now.
But there's something about the tension in his expression that confuses Benny. Even remembering how strange things were this morning, they know Benrey, what they think about. But they're also getting to know Gordon better, and they can guess what's going on in his head.
"It's okay," Benny quietly reassures him. "They're crazy about you. They like it when… you're the first thing they see every morning." The way they say that would suggest they're copying it from something, and they are; from Benrey's inner musings days prior. "Benrey doesn't love anything more than Gordon. It's true."
Their words have Gordon's face turning red, eyes flicking between them and Benrey. After another moment spent in silence, he lets out a soft huff, turning back to Benny with a smile.
"Thanks," he says. Returning the smile, Benny reaches out for his hand, urging him away from Benrey. Despite how much they'd love to stare at Benrey until they're better, they get the feeling Benrey waking to see multiple people staring at them would be… well, not a good experience.
So they lead him away, tasking him with helping them set up some snacks for Benrey. The bags they brought up earlier are transferred to the living room, each item inside neatly stacked and arranged on the coffee table. Now, these tasty treats will be the first thing Benrey sees when they wake up. Hopefully.
When that's finally done, they pull Gordon away to go check on the roast.
- ♡ -
Benrey isn't known to sleep for long periods of time. Black Mesa was a hostile place where relaxing deeply enough to slumber was an insurmountable task. Even after they got out of the box, the longest they'd ever slept was a few hours in a row. Typically, they're out for an hour before some instinct deep inside them has urged them to pay attention.
So, when at last they wake, they expect it to be somewhere familiar, less than an hour into the future. The back of the van where they'd laid down, Gordon kneeled on the mattress beside them, maybe with Benny playing in the grass outside.
But that's not what they find. With a displeased whine, Benrey buries their face in the seal plush, squeezing it against them as they stretch out their legs. Their foot connects with something that has them momentarily confused, but they swiftly disregard it. Until they raise their head again, smacking their lips in response to the feel of drool on their lips, blinking rapidly to clear their vision. This… is NOT the van.
"Whuh…?" they mumble, looking around in total confusion. This place, the couch beneath them, the TV nearby with a DVD screensaver bouncing around the screen; it's all totally unfamiliar, and they don't like that.
They're trying not to freak out unnecessarily, but not succeeding in holding back the yellow sweet voice bubbling out of their mouth. Their eyes bug out when they see the time on their minimap. It's been roughly four hours since they fell asleep. How far is four hours from the campsite? Did they miss Denver? Anything could've happened in that time frame.
Not to mention, not having Benny directly in front of them is making their thoughts wander horribly, unable to ascertain their exact state of being. Sure, they're marked on Benrey's map, but that doesn't mean they're okay. Checking their map for threats or any other info they can scrounge up doesn't reveal anything worth worrying about. They're in Denver, there's no major threat, and, if they look for long enough, they can find the place their friends are hanging out in, full of little white blips.
With a soft sigh, Benrey melts back into the couch, taking in their surroundings a little more calmly. Everything is fine. They just moved into some kind of house for shelter, that makes sense. No point in staying at the campsite waiting for them to get better, they have places to go, people to see. There's even a table full of snacks in front of them!
Sitting up, they set the seal plush aside, but something horrible nags at them, preventing them from looking away from it. They end up picking it back up, cradling it against their chest without shame. Picking up some of the candy bars, they start chowing down, quickly mowing through an entire stack without realizing.
Suddenly, a warm and savory scent wafts past, drawing a teal hum out of them. Sniffing the air, they get up, looking towards the doorway nearby right in time for Benny to step through it, appearing surprised to find them upright.
Seeing them reminds Benrey of their earlier worry, coming backnow in the form of relief. They're perfectly fine, not a scratch on them. The thought of losing them is too much to bare, Benrey realizes. They've lost so much already, if they had to lose another friend, they don't know what they'd do. Nothing good.
The two stare at each other for a moment, before a burst of green sweet voice pops out of Benny's mouth and they run at Benrey, pulling them into a tight hug.
"Ghh—Whoa, hey," Benrey says. Their arms are trapped against their sides, but a quick noclip later and they can return the embrace, patting Benny's back as they let out a green and black song. This melody soon turns into purring, the vibrations rumbling against Benrey's chest and neck where Benny's nuzzling them like a beloved pet. Holding Benny like this is nice, surprisingly nice. The shape of their body perfectly fits against Benrey's, their purr soothing and hair soft where Benrey begins running their fingers through the strands.
This is so fucking strange. They've never gone away and been missed by everyone they left behind so much. It's awkward and embarrassing and flattering and reaffirming and they're going to get so stupid and cry about it if they don't make light of the situation as soon as possible.
"You miss me? That's gay," Benrey teases. "You wanna kiss about it or something? Huh? Put a big one right here on my mouth?"
When Benny pulls away, there's a moment where they see the worry in Benny's gaze and want nothing more than to make them smile again. Then, suddenly, Benny grabs their face, and soon, there's a soft pair of lips crashing into theirs. Benrey breathes sharply through their nose, unsure how to respond even as there's sparks dancing all over their body. It's warm and lovely, tasting faintly of something sweet, like a strawberry iced tea.
With a contented noise, Benrey hums into the kiss, briefly glimpsing Gordon watching in the doorway before they let their eyes fall shut, returning the kiss with the same sort of gentle passion Benny meets them with. It feels like a warm blanket on a cold day, and Benrey doesn't want to let go.
Of course, they have to. Even if neither of them need to breathe—or, Benrey doesn't have to, at least—they still part for air, Benny's breath smelling just as sweet as they taste. Benrey goes for another kiss just to taste them again. For a moment, it's just the two of them, the rest of the world melting away…
And then Benrey notices Gordon still watching them, a look on his face like this is the happiest moment of his life. Probably not, though, doesn't he have a son or something? Still, he looks ecstatic to see the two of them together like this, and Benrey can't help but feel like it's not that big of a deal, right? Despite knowing that it is, that they didn't even want Benny around until very recently. Now they're getting gumdrops and rainbows fluffy feelings from them, and that's, like, huh. Okay. Guess that's how their life is going, now.
"Hey," Benrey says, looking over to Gordon and prompting Benny to do the same. An embarrassed squeak escapes them, and they bury their face in Benrey's shoulder, hands gripping the front of their hoodie. "Peeping much."
"Sorry," Gordon laughs, turning a little red. "I thought I heard your voice, and I came out, and…" he gestures towards the two of them, "Fuck, you look so cute together."
Benrey feels their face warm at his comment. Is that true? The two of them look pretty similar, even if they make very different faces and overall act and dress differently, so they kinda thought it'd look weird. Like siblings. But apparently, Gordon thinks differently, which is a relief… and makes Benrey feel like, yeah, maybe they are cute together. They lean their head on Benny's, thus leaning into the "looking cute together" thing. Despite that, the words that come out of them next are dismissive.
"Yeah whatever, is there food?" Their words have Gordon barking a laugh and Benny sagging against them in what they can only assume is exasperation. This, in turn, has Benrey laughing, and Benny lifting their head just to pout.
"Yeah, there's food," Gordon assures them. "We made a roast, just finished up the gravy for it. Can't have you wasting away on us, now, can we?"
Benrey cheers, picking Benny up as they let out a squeak of teal, then pink-yellow sweet voice. Carrying them bridal style into the kitchen, Benrey feels much more energetic than they did before their nap, their body filled out and operating as normal. Luckily they got a lot of mass to work with, it was just regrowing all that calcium that really took a lot of effort. And fuck are they hungry.
- ♡ -
The smell that wafts from the kitchen is divine, meat and herbs mixing with the nutty smell of roasting potatoes. While not his best work, the gravy he made from meat drippings and some frozen beef stock works quite well, and even without a proper salad, the whole spread with roasted veggies, medium rare roast elk, and gravy end up looking almost like a Sunday dinner. What day it actually is, Gordon's lost count, but it's all about the mood, anyway.
The sight of the meal has teal drifting out of Benrey's mouth. Setting Benny down in one of the chairs, they take a seat beside them, so of course Gordon places himself on their other side. Benrey should be in the middle. After how much the two of them worried about them, it's only logical.
"This looks so choice, dude," Benrey says, as Gordon starts plating everyone's food.
Benny gets a pile of meat with some roasted vegetables, then he drowns it all in gravy. He doesn't bother checking if they like it first, figuring that a sauce made mostly of meat juice is something they'll enjoy. Benrey gets an equally large portion, but Gordon tempers himself when it comes to his own plate. However delicious it looks and smells, he's only human. Eating alien-sized portions will do a number on his poor stomach.
"Eat up," he says. "You're growing boys, after all."
The aliens descend upon the meal with a ravenous enthusiasm, using whatever silverware gets the most food shoveled into their mouths at once. At least they manage to maintain some table manners outside of that, never talking with their mouth full or making any messes. And Benrey savors each bite, closing their eyes and slowly chewing with an appreciative moan.
"This is so good, I could fuck it," Benrey says, leading to Benny making a distressed noise.
Gordon missed this, this easy back and forth over food, where Benrey is their usual, somewhat disgusting self, Benny makes faces, and Gordon has to stop himself from choking when they make him laugh.
"Don't fuck the steak, Benrey! That's what my ass is for," he manages to say between bouts of laughter, getting a withering look from Benny that only has him laugh harder.
The food really has turned out surprisingly good. Cooking elk with lots of herbs in an oven makes it a lot less gamey than when roasted over an open flame, the crispy vegetables and smooth gravy complementing the meat perfectly. Some kind of salad would've brought the meal to perfection, but luckily, neither Benrey nor Benny seem bothered by it. As carnivores, it's not that surprising.
"Gordonnnn," Benrey croons, "I'm soooooo in love with you. And the food you make me. Gonna bake you some bread one day, you be chompin' on it, and wow what's that, kinda hard huh—bam, diamond ring. And you say yes, please? Say yes to me, please?"
Their words have Gordon both laughing and blushing, much more than the sex joke had. Despite being the one to bring up marriage just last night, it's still a lot just hearing Benrey joke about it.
"I—Yes… I mean, of course I would, but, please don't put any rings in the food. With my luck, I'd end up swallowing it and make things so fucking awkward."
Benrey doesn't miss a beat. "Yeah, I know you swallow," they quip with an absurdly wicked grin, receiving an elbow to the ribs from a very displeased Benny.
Still, the mere thought of Benrey actually proposing has Gordon all soft and fuzzy inside. It's not like marriage is needed to prove their love for each other, but it's still terribly romantic to declare your undying devotion to someone in front of all your loved ones. And Benrey would look so pretty with flowers in their hair.
The fantasy drags him under, such that he almost forgets to eat. Luckily he has Benny to nudge him back to attention. He doesn't even notice that the other two have been bickering and having a little food fight that whole time.
"So," Benrey says once everything's settled down. "What'd you do while I was hanging out with the Sandman?"
The question takes Gordon right out of his dreamy mood. While he could tell them about all the movies and the fun him and Benny had cooking, there's something a lot more pressing to talk about.
"Well, when you fell asleep," Gordon starts, "Benny suggested we keep moving, so I gave them a few pointers on driving since apparently neither of you know how."
"I can drive," Benrey interjects, offended.
"Not well," Benny says, causing Benrey to pout.
"We got as far as Denver before your directions ended," Gordon continue. He chews his lip while formulating how to explain this next part. "There's something weird going on here. Lotta signs that point to military, but no soldiers hanging around. And there's a barricade going through the whole inner city, or it looks like it, anyway. Nothing massive, just enough to keep aliens out. We turned around when we saw it, decided to hide here and wait for you. So we watched some movies, or, well, Benny did, I fell asleep. Then we made food, and you woke up. So, you're up to speed, now."
Benrey's stopped eating in order to watch Gordon as he speaks, their expression impassive. Only after he's done and they've had time to think, their eyes going distant like they're looking at their map, do they speak up.
"Uh, yeah. That's a seven thousand volt electric fence," Benrey says. Gordon does a double-take.
"Seven thou—Holy fuck, I am so glad I didn't go out there to check it out."
It's such an extreme measure to take, but an effective one, apparently. The other side of the barricade had looked free of destruction and aliens. It still gives him the shakes though. He'd had no idea. From where he was sitting, it looked like the standard barbed wire barricade he'd seen back at Black Mesa.
"There's another one deeper in, like checkpoints," Benrey explains. "No guards though, which is, uh, sus, because there's definitely people in there. You remember my friends I told you about, well the place they told me to go to is in there, and there's a bunch of civilians in there. They're like, uh, vac, vac-queue… VAC banned, I guess. I don't see any military, bro. Think they pumped and dumped or something. You know they got a PS4 over there?"
To hear that there are survivors is uplifting. At least the military's good for something except killing civilians, even if they just set it up and then fucked off.
"You really wanna meet your gamer friends, huh?" Gordon says. "Alright, we'll see if we can find a way to get through the barricade tomorrow. But only if we can find a way to make you and Benny look less… alien. I don't trust these people not to freak out and do something stupid considering all the shit they must've been through."
"Hell yeah bro, it's going to be so fun," Benrey says. Their excitement is infectious, causing Gordon to relax more. "We'll just have to, uh, get Benny lots to eat and teach them how to do this."
They close their eyes, opening them to reveal a very human brown. The shadow over their eyes grows lighter until it's easily mistakable for a natural shadow created by their hair, and their claws dull, the black discoloration receding into their stubby human nails to give the appearance of black polish. Their skin also shifts hue to a very pale peach tone with pink coloration, their ears become rounder, and their teeth more dull.
"This looks good, right?" Benrey says, tilting their head this way and that as Gordon marvels at their freshly human appearance. "Did this all the time black at Back Mesa."
Though not drastic, the shift completely changes their whole vibe. Gordon realizes he recognizes this face—It's the one Benrey wore when they first asked him for his passport. It was slowly discarded during their travels, so slowly that Gordon never noticed the shift and entirely forgot about how they used to look.
Seeing this again has Gordon realize three things. One, Benrey is startlingly handsome like this. Two, he thought so the first time they met, as well. Three, despite all that, he still prefers their "real" face. But to see them like this is fascinating, and Gordon can't help but to lean in and cup their face, turning it side to side to get a better look. They give him a very smug-looking grin the entire time.
"Woah… You look…" Neither "normal" nor "handsome" feels appropriate to say. "Well, you got some practice in, huh?" He grins down at Benrey, his sharp teeth on display. "Look how the tables have tabled. Now I'm the annoying, alien looking motherfucker, and you're the human one."
Benrey blows a raspberry at him, before grabbing his shirt and tugging him down into a kiss. "Loser," they mumble against his lips, and when they finally pull away enough for him to see them, they're normal again, ashy blue skin and all. "How you gonna hide all that, huh?"
That's… a good point. "Some sunglasses will have to do, I guess," he concedes. "We'll figure it out when we get there." With all of that out of the way, they return to eating.
- ♡ -
Once they're done eating, Benrey kicks back in their seat, immensely pleased. The warmth of the food has spread throughout their body, leaving them feeling refreshed and content.
"Mmm, I can feel myself GROWING," they say, as Benny makes a disgusted face. "Growing new PARTS. Gonna have two dicks now, one for everybody. I'm so generous and sexy it's unbelievable."
With an exasperated sigh, Benny pushes their hand into Benrey's face, resulting in them making cartoonish spitting-something-out sounds. In response, Benny blows a raspberry that somehow seems subdued and polite before gathering up all the dirty plates to take into the kitchen, stopping to kiss Benrey's brow as they pass by. At least Gordon's laughing at their very funny joke.
Benrey watches Benny leave, noting their posture when they walk. It reminds them of someone, but they're too brain-empty to think about that too much. Instead, they lean their elbows on the table, turning their sights on Gordon. But they don't say anything, instead making obvious googly-eyes at him to get a reaction. He's seconds away from getting up to help Benny when he notices the staring.
With a chuckle, he leans in closer. "What? Something on my face?"
"Mmmmnn… yeah, there's an alien on it," Benrey says, squinting their eyes as if they're closely observing something down by his mouth. Scooting their chair closer by hooking their ankles around the leg of the chair, they lean in as he does the same, meeting them halfway. "Hold on, lemme get that for you."
Placing a hand on his cheek, they close their mouth over his. The kiss is unhurried, a passionate caress of their lips against his, and their hand slides down, a crooked finger stroking up under his chin. He hums into the kiss, tilting his head to deepen it. As they pull away, they exhale a contented sigh, speaking low against his lips.
"Whoops. I made it worse. Lemme fix that." With a smirk, they lean in for another kiss, delighted by the traces of food they can taste on his lips. Almost like eating it twice, on a sexier plate this time. "Oh no I'm getting it everywhere oh nooo," they halfheartedly mumble in between kisses, earning them a low chuckle whenever Gordon's mouth isn't busy.
Benrey inches closer to the edge of their seat, until their knees knock against his. One hand slides into his curls while the other dips under his wild mane of hair and over the mark on his neck. A soft gasp escapes him as their fingers trace the wounds, not as deep or prominent as they'd like.
A quiet whimper escapes Benrey as they feel Gordon return the gesture, too drawn into the kiss to think that far ahead. Of course he'd do this, he always does, and it makes them so weak, a shiver rolling down their spine as they sigh into the kiss.
Having his hand on their neck completes the gesture, reminding them of the reciprocal nature of their bond. In that way, it reminds them of how bad what they'd done that morning was, and how Gordon was only acting the way they should have; in tandem, together. Not one of them on their own, no matter how big and cool they think they should be.
When at last they part, Gordon leans his forehead against theirs, taking a moment just to enjoy their presence. One of their hands rests along his jaw, thumb rubbing over his skin and stroking through his beard, just. Touching, idly. It brings them a lot of comfort, being everything they were deprived of for most of their life; soft, and warm. Not to mention alive. And also Gordon.
"I missed you," Gordon professes. "I know you only slept for a few hours, but… I still did."
"Awwh," Benrey coos, stroking his face as they gaze down at his lips, love in their eyes and mischief in their smile. "You misssssss meeeeee? That's so embarrassing for you. Wow, you wanna kiss about it?"
He snorts a laugh, his forehead rubbing against theirs as he shakes his head. "You are so annoying, I can't fucking believe it."
Benny returns to their seat then, leaning forward to place their arms around Benrey's waist and lean on their shoulder. A move like this would've made Benrey cringe only a few days ago, yet now, they love it. It's so nice here. Nice and warm bundled up in the Gordon/Benny sandwich, with the friend they always wanted and never got to have… Benny really is perfect for that role. They would've done anything to have someone like them in the before times.
Turning their head, they look back at Benny. "Hey, sunshine, starlight. You wanna kiss me, too? Wanna kiss me soooo bad?"
A devious twinkle flashes in Benny's eye before they descend upon them, grabbing Benrey's cheeks and kissing all over their face. "Wahh!" Benrey exclaims, though they chuckle and spit out a lot of green sweet voice, which turns pink when Gordon decides to join. "Ahhhh, betrayal!"
His lips move over their ear and neck while Benny tackles their face. The dual attention has their heart pounding, leaving them feeling strange and embarrassed. Being the center of attention is rough. Bad, but good, but bad but also good…
Benny's soft lips against theirs wash away those pesky feelings, zeroing Benrey's attention in on just one thing—Benny. Their hands caressing Benrey's face, the taste of green apples and strawberries on their lips, the innocent enthusiasm behind every press of those soft lips against theirs. It goes from a barrage of quick pecks to something unhurried and tender, one of Benrey's hands coming up to cup the back of Benny's neck.
They part with an audible sound as Gordon chuckles softly, his arms winding around their waist. They're turned halfway between both of them, now, and they're definitely feeling the love. Maybe too much, they're getting kinda excited.
"Maybe," Benrey starts, pausing for a while as they lick their lips, tasting all kinds of fun things. "Wanna go to, soft play area? For some soft play?" Their eyes flick from Gordon to Benny. "Or hard play, if that's wha' you like?"
Benny blushes deeply, pink and yellow sweet voice bubbling out of their mouth. It's so cute, Benrey can't help but laugh, receiving a whine and a playful swat as recompense.
"Ignore them. We won't do anything you don't want to," Gordon assures Benny, always the sweet one of their little group. Rubbing his nose against Benrey, he asks, "You wanna go lie down, babe?"
"Yeah, this place got a bed or what? How big is it?"
The three of them get up, with Gordon lifting Benrey into a bridal carry. "Don't worry, your highness, we'll take you to bed," Gordon teases.
"Yeah, I'm a princess," Benrey deadpans, getting very comfortable in Gordon's hold, an amused grin tugging at the corner of their lips.
Resting their head against his shoulder while being able to sense the flutter of his pulse, not to mention the heat of his body suffusing into theirs, is so soothing. They've been in such a good mood thanks to everything Benny and Gordon have done for them. Maybe they can just forget about what happened that morning, carry on like always. It doesn't matter anymore.