Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

A stick was thrown into the air. It landed on the deck with a sharp sound, and it rolled, rolled until it was halted by a gap between two floor boards. The pointed end was clearly pointing at Jim, but collectively the crew caught on to the dark expression that had cast over Jim's face and thought to reconsider the Rule of the Stick. Frenchie paled - after all, he was the poor sap who threw the stick - and cleared his throat uncomfortably.

"Ah, okay, well… A question for Jim, huh? Lemme see…"

"Just a forewarning," Jim said in a low voice, "I won't answer any personal questions."

"Yeah that's, that's sort of the game, though," Frenchie offered weakly. "Rule of the Stick, and all."

"I'm right-handed," Jim said, with an air of finality. "Next."

Frenchie nodded, relieved. "Yep, you know what, that's fair." He retrieved the stick and handed it off to Wee John. "Your turn, big guy."

Wee John's throw was much more successful. The pointed end landed on Lucius, who was sitting with his head resting on Black Pete's shoulder. Lucius shrugged at the stick, unbothered.

"Ask away," he said. "My forewarning is that I tend to overshare, so choose your words carefully."

Wee John leaned back against the railing. "Let's see… Oh, I know. Who was your first kiss, then?"

Lucius chuckled, rolling his eyes. "My first kiss, or the first kiss I enjoyed if you know what I mean?"

The crew erupted in laughter and playful banter, their chatter becoming harder and harder to make out against the sounds of the ocean waves lapping against the sides of the ship. Stede took a sip of his tea, chuckling to himself.

"This 'Truth Stick' game they've been playing lately certainly seems a bit of fun, doesn't it?"

Beside him, Ed hummed. The two of them sat on the quarter deck, Stede with his tea and Ed with his sugary water, both of them thankful it wasn't a full moon and thus were spared from Buttons and his moon-bathing rituals. Ed slid his arm over Stede's shoulders, stretching his legs out in front of him and crossing his ankles.

"I dunno, mate. Not big on the personal questions, me."

"You've always been very open with me," Stede pointed out. Ed grinned at him.

"Well you, you're different. But back in the Blackbeard days, would have been sort of an odd game to play, you know? Not a whole lot of people clamoring to know Blackbeard's first kiss. First kill, maybe, not kiss."

Stede pondered whether or not he wanted to know Ed's first kiss. Part of him did - Ed's romantic past was unrelated to the here and now, after all, and Stede was a naturally curious man - but a bigger part of him was scared to ask. Why, he wasn't certain. It wasn't out of jealousy, at least he didn't think so. It felt more like inadequacy, somehow. He hadn't spent much time thinking about it.

My first kiss, or the first kiss I enjoyed if you know what I mean?

Stede felt himself flush with embarrassment. He might not have understood what Lucius was referring to several months ago, before he realized his feelings for Ed and the reason why his marriage to Mary had always felt so utterly and completely wrong.

"Who was your first kiss, Ed?" The question flew out of Stede's mouth before he even realized he was speaking, filling him with nearly instantaneous regret.

Ed, fortunately, didn't seem too bothered. His mouth turned in an amused grin. "Are we really doin' this?"

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Stede followed up quickly. Ed shook his head.

"Naw, it's no big deal. Let's see." Ed tipped his head back, breathing a deep sigh in through his nose. Dear lord, he had to think about it! Stede's feelings of unease blossomed. "You know," Ed finally said, "I don't really remember?"

"Oh," Stede choked out.

"Doesn't matter," Ed said, nuzzling his face into Stede's hair and pressing a kiss to his temple, "you're the only one I'm kissing now-a-days anyway."

That's right, Stede thought. They were together now, weren't they? Nothing else mattered. Well, nothing else aside from the daily trials and tribulations of a pirate's life, at least.

Regardless of this, the icky, sour feelings now blooming in Stede's mind remained.

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There was a time, when Stede first set out to the open sea without knowing bow from stern, that he'd been unsure he would ever get used to the tossing and turning of the ocean. By now, however, he felt more adept at sea than on land. No matter how turbulent the water, he'd mastered a great many of his favorite pastimes; taking his tea, reading his books, organizing his knickknacks and more recently, making out with Edward Teach.

Rain pounded the windows above the bed and the ship rocked with the force of the waves. Across the cabin Stede thought he heard a few books slip off the shelf and land with a sad plop on the floor, but he couldn't be bothered with that just at the moment. Ed had him lightly pinned against the bed, one leather-clad knee positioned strongly between Stede's legs - which was making Stede light-headed on its own, just the proximity to his, ah, extremities made it hard to catch his breath - and one gloveless hand sliding methodically along Stede's side, fingers teasingly near to the bottom of his shirt. Stede's heart was pounding loud in his ears, so loud and strong he was certain Ed could feel it between their joined mouths.

Stede never knew kissing could be so heated and frenzied and enjoyable before Ed. Other than the occasional chaste peck on the lips from his wife in years past, Stede had no experience with this sort of passionate expression, and as Ed's fingers snuck under Stede's shirt and grazed over his stomach, he was reminded that he had no experience in plenty of other areas, either. Stede tried and failed to stifle a small moan, winding his arms around Ed's neck to keep him close, to ground himself, to help keep them both steady as the ship creaked and surged underneath them.

Maybe tonight they could - maybe–

Ed broke their kiss with a groan, removing his hand from Stede's shirt and planting it firmly on the bed next to Stede's shoulder. Another book belly-flopped onto the floor.

Stede's vision was bleary from arousal; he blinked a few times to see Ed clearly above him. Ed was leveling him a vaguely apologetic look. It was a look Stede had seen recently, several times in fact. Stede searched Ed's eyes in concern.

"You– ah, everything okay?" Stede got out, his voice coming out embarrassingly rough. Ed's lips quirked in a fond smile.

"Course, everything's fine." Ed leaned in to press a kiss to Stede's forehead. Stede knew what that meant. They were done for the night. "Thought we should turn in, is all. S'late. Plus," Ed glanced toward the book shelves, "probably gonna have a lot to clean up in the morning. Storm's not gonna let up anytime soon, from the looks of it."

"R-right," Stede answered, forcing a smile. "We should turn in, you're right. It's been an exhausting day, after all! I'm right tuckered out." Today hadn't been any more tiring than most of their days at sea, but he couldn't find it in him to disagree. His disappointment and insecurities were his own issues, it had nothing to do with Ed.

Ed pat Stede's chest and rolled off of him, falling into bed beside him. He opened his arms, a silent invitation to cuddle - yet another expression of love Stede had no experience with, but thankfully cuddling required no skill whatsoever - which softened Stede's concerns, if only a little. He fell into Ed's arms and was pulled in immediately, Ed's mouth pressing another kiss to the crown of his head.

Since the two of them had become more intimate, this is how things usually wound down. Every time Stede thought perhaps they'd go a little further, Ed would put a swift stop to it. Stede's disappointment was shadowed only by his own anxieties about what 'further' even entailed. He was hopelessly inexperienced in all things sexual, and as badly as he wanted to explore this 'further' with Ed, he was equally terrified of his own inadequacies. He was terrified of letting Ed down.

There was no doubt by now that Ed was well-versed in this department. He'd mentioned as such, and Jack - though an unreliable source, considering his betrayal - had made remarks to that effect, as well. Stede was as clueless as they came, and he worried that for this reason, Ed was hesitant to take their intimacy to the next level.

Could he really blame him?

Of course, all Stede needed to do was ask Ed about it. After all, they talked to each other about everything, didn't they? Even when Ed had been utterly furious with him, they'd still been able to talk things out. After a lot of yelling, crying and a tiny bit of bloodshed, but that was neither here nor there.

"Ed?" Stede's voice was muffled against the fabric of Ed's shirt. Ed grunted; he sounded sleepy.

"Yeah, love?"

Stede opened his mouth and he could swear his tongue had just swollen to twice its size. He cleared his throat and pressed his face harder into Ed's chest, his courage fleeing him.

"Ah, nothing at all, actually. Good night."

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The Revenge took more of a beating in the storm than Ed predicted. The hull had been damaged and the lower decks had taken on water, not enough to sink her, but enough to raise concern. Between the repairs needed to the hull and the crew's need for a little rest and recreation, Stede and Ed changed their heading to the nearest safe haven, New Providence.

The crew dispersed as soon as they docked, all but Ed, who grabbed Buttons, Roach and Wee John to start facilitating the repairs needed to the hull.

"No treasure maps," Ed warned before Stede had even stepped off the boat. Stede shot him a pout.

"Okay, but what if I find a really promising one?"

"You're not gonna find anything promising here in New Providence mate, I promise you that. Any treasure map you find around here is being made in bulk."

"Really!" Stede huffed. "That's terribly dishonest."

"Yeah, well." Ed grinned and pulled Stede in for a quick goodbye kiss. "Dishonest is kinda the brand around here. Just be careful, alright?"

Dishonest or not, Stede was never one to pass up an opportunity to peruse the local shopping scene. And as he was still in the process of restocking his mostly lost library, a shopping trip was practically a necessity at this point. He couldn't always count on the next ship they raided to be well-stocked with books, after all. He was lucky if he left with more than a handful of interesting reads per raid! With Lucius in tow, Stede started off into town with a modest supply list and a bulging coin purse.

"Quick reminder," Lucius chimed in an hour later, lugging a bag of vegetables and grains over one shoulder, "Captain Ed was pretty clear on the 'no treasure map' point, so."

Stede hummed, distractedly pouring over a variety of scrolls, tomes and other assorted written material for sale. "He did mention that, yes."

Lucius clicked his tongue impatiently. "Well, it just seems like you're really focusing on all the things that look like treasure maps, is all."

Stede glanced over his shoulder to flash Lucius a supportive smile. "And look at you, taking Ed's words to heart! That's wonderful, Lucius! Sounds like you've finally–"

"Forgiven him? Yeah, no, the asshole tried to kill me and I'm still not over it. I just agree with him about the treasure hunt thing."

"Ah," Stede turned back to the merchant's wares, shifting his attention to the books. "That's fair."

After flipping through a few of the books for sale, Stede came upon a title he'd never seen before, The School of Venus, words printed in large, flowery lettering. Intrigued, Stede flipped it open and scanned its contents. Moments later he very nearly dropped the book altogether, stifling a horrified gasp. He shut the book, perhaps too loudly, for he seemed to gain Lucius's attention.

"Something the matter?" Lucius asked, confused.

"Of course not!" Stede proclaimed, grabbing two other books and stacking them atop The School of Venus. "Everything is fine, and very, very normal, and I will be buying these books my good man," he was now addressing the merchant, who looked rather as confused as Lucius, "these three very interesting academic books, for you see I have a great interest in the academic, as well as all proper writing that is… proper. So, ah, name your price and we will be on our way!"

Chapter Text

What had he done?

How - why - did he buy this, this… filth?

Stede sat himself down on his bed, staring at the offending book - The School of Venus, such an unassuming name! - in his hands, disturbed at his own impulsiveness. He should have simply put it down and walked away, far away, but he hadn't. He'd purchased it, and he still wasn't sure why.

With a hesitancy he rarely had for the written word, Stede cracked the book open and peeked inside as though he feared something unseemly might spring at him from the pages. His eyes scanned the pages, one after another, until he arrived at a particularly shocking paragraph:

Sometimes my Husband gets upon me, and sometimes I get upon him, sometimes we do it sideways, sometimes kneeling, sometimes crossways, sometimes backwards… sometimes Wheelbarrow, with one leg upon his shoulders, sometimes we do it on our feet, sometimes upon a stool.

"Good lord," Stede muttered, his face growing warm and his breeches becoming tight despite his best efforts. Were things like this really done?

Turning the page, Stede nearly dropped the book once again. There were illustrations. Oh, lord, illustrations! Of various positions and states of undress, all of them shamelessly laid out on the following pages like some sort of indecent picture book.

Although he hadn't gotten a clear look - not that he'd tried - Stede recalled catching Mary and Doug together in Mary's art studio. From what little he'd seen, he'd been surprised at their… method. Was that what it was like when two people loved each other and wanted to be together instead of circumstance dictating it? He knew by now that his lack of attraction to Mary wasn't because something was wrong with him, but rather because his attraction was to his own gender. Was his own sexual incompetence a result of his miserable marriage?

Or was it just… him?

Suddenly, the cabin door swung open. In a blind panic, Stede launched the book across the room, watching it fly into a side room and out of sight. Ed walked in, frowning at the curtain that was now swaying very conspicuously.

"The fuck was that?" he asked, amused.

"What? Nothing!" Stede stood up, smoothing out the front of his waistcoat. "How, uh, how goes the repairs?"

Although Ed still seemed curious, he let it go easily. He strode into the room, his usual leather jacket replaced with one of Stede's beige shirts, the baggy sleeves rolled up and tied back. Perhaps it was that the indecent illustrations were still burned into Stede's mind, but he couldn't stop himself from staring a bit too long at Ed's exposed forearms, the way his muscles looked straining against the thin cotton material of his shirt.

"Almost done. Should be able to set sail tonight, in fact." Ed stopped in front of Stede, frowning when he got a good look at his face. "Hey, you feelin' okay?" He pulled a glove off and raised a hand to feel Stede's forehead. "You're really fucking flushed. Face has gone all pink."

Stede forced a surprised laugh. "Has it?" He cleared his throat. "Ah, well, I suppose I may have gotten too much exercise running errands today. A little sea breeze will do me good."

Ed's hand slid to Stede's cheek, and then to the back of his neck. "You feel kinda warm. You sure you feel okay?"

"You worry too much," Stede said, though his voice came out so much softer than he intended.

Ed offered him a slanted grin. "Only about you," he purred. God, he was handsome. Over the last several weeks Ed's beard had been growing back, though notably shorter than it had been. To distance himself from Blackbeard, he'd said. If he was honest, Stede had no preference. Ed was unbelievably handsome with or without his beard, but he couldn't deny he loved the feel of Ed's coarse beard tickling his chin when they kissed. Stede's mind flashed unwillingly to the crude illustrations. There was so much more than kissing, wasn't there, all kinds of acts and positions that Stede was wholly ignorant to.

Ed probably wasn't though, was he?

"Hey," Ed's voice pulled Stede back from his spiraling thoughts, stepping in ever closer so they were practically nose to nose. His brow was creased and his eyes were searching Stede's with clear worry. "You're starting to freak me out, mate."

"Huh? Oh," Stede swallowed. Ed was making it very difficult to think at the moment. He was so close, and he smelled so good, like smoke and salt and sweat - a combination that should be awful, surely, but here we are - and all Stede needed to do was lean in and kiss him, but he found himself unable to make the move. His stomach was in knots and - blast it - his breeches were still uncomfortable. "Sorry, my… I suppose my mind has been wandering, as of late."

Ed perked a brow at him. "That so?" He smoothed his hands over Stede's shoulders and down his arms, scooping up Stede's hands in his own. "Well. You'll let me know if your mind starts wandering too far, yeah?"

Stede gave Ed's hands a squeeze. "Yeah."

Ed leaned in to press a kiss to Stede's jaw, letting his lips linger there purposefully before pulling away rather suddenly, his eyes alight with inspiration.

"Oh, shit. I've got a fucking great idea."

"Oh?"

"Come over here and sit down," Ed said, practically steering Stede to his settee. "Oh, and take off your jacket. Come come come. Fuck, you're gonna love this."

Confused but intrigued, Stede did as he was told, removing his jacket and placing it neatly over the back of a chair. Once Stede was sat down, Ed positioned himself behind the settee and placed his hands on Stede's shoulders, thumbs just barely brushing the sides of Stede's neck.

"Now, what on earth are you doing back thereee–" the last word escaped Stede's mouth as more of an elongated gasp, his mouth immediately going slack and chills flying up and down his spine. Ed had begun to rub and squeeze his shoulders, sending shockwaves of relief and pleasure shooting through Stede's entire body. Ed's hands were rubbing into layers of tension Stede hadn't even known were there, leaving him feeling like a soft, pliable puddle of a man.

"It's nice, right?" Ed said, his strong hands still working themselves into Stede's muscles as though it were the most natural thing in the world.

Stede was momentarily worried that he could no longer produce words. "Nice… Isn't quite the word. Where did you learn to do this, Ed?"

Ed chuckled. "Can't say I learned anything really, just got the idea from the Swede."

"The Swede?" Stede asked, surprised. A moment later he had to stifle a particularly unbecoming moan when Ed rubbed gently at the base of his neck. My goodness, had he always been this tense?

"Yep. Saw him doin' this to Wee John, asked him what the hell he was doing. Apparently this is a thing where he's from, and it looked pretty easy so I thought I'd try it out."

Did wonders never cease? "What's it - ahh - for?" Stede asked.

"Thought that would have been obvious, mate," Ed's thumbs were working in strong, methodical circles at the back of Stede's neck. "Relaxation. Is it working?"

Stede uttered a soft laugh. "It's not not working. My whole body feels like it's made of pudding."

Ed hummed. "I'm gonna have to assume that's a good thing."

"Oh, it is."

They fell into a comfortable silence as Ed continued, bleeding Stede of all the tension and rigidity he'd been unknowingly carrying around. He was so relaxed, he'd almost completely forgotten about his crippling sense of self-doubt and the incriminating book that was just in the next room.

Oh, drat.

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He was overthinking things, surely.

After Ed left him to oversee the rest of the repairs, Stede reclaimed the scandalous book and stashed it in an extremely ingenious hiding place - under Stede's bed, the last place anyone would ever think to look! - but unfortunately, its contents still plagued Stede's mind. The images were especially persistent, pestering him at all hours of the day with their blatant indecency. To think that such books were even allowed to go to print!

What would Ed think of a book like that? He probably wouldn't bat an eye, would he?

Stede was so distracted by this consuming - and very inappropriate - train of thought that he hadn't noticed Lucius enter the cabin's quarters, journal already tucked under his arm in preparation for potential note-taking.

"Uh, Captain?"

Stede whirled around, stifling a shriek. Lucius jumped in response, having been surprised himself.

"I– Buttons said you needed me for something. I knocked, but you didn't answer," Lucius said as way of an explanation. Stede waved a hand in apology.

"Ah, yes, of course. Come, have a seat," Stede gestured to his settee, and Lucius dutifully sat himself down and cracked open his journal, quill already positioned to write.

A beat of silence followed this, wherein two things occurred: Stede realized he did not remember why he'd called for Lucius in the first place, and Lucius also realized Stede did not remember why he'd called for him in the first place.

"Well," Stede finally said, joining his hands together behind his back, "I suppose I should have you write something, then."

Lucius nodded slowly. "Yeah, that's why I brought the book and everything." Another beat of silence, then two, and by the third Lucius was heaving a little sigh. "Everything alright, Captain?"

"Hm? Oh, yes. I'm fine. I've just been a little scatter-brained lately." Stede sat down next to Lucius, hands on his knees, eyes staring ahead into empty space. "I'm fine, though."

Lucius shut the journal, setting it aside. "Yeah, okay. You're obviously not fine, is the thing. You're really, really terrible at hiding when you're not fine."

Stede grimaced. "Really?"

Lucius nodded. Then he sighed. "Alright. Okay." He shuffled a little closer to Stede. "Is this a co-Captain issue, by any chance?"

"No, no not at all," Stede started, but it wasn't long before he was frowning and sighing. "Well… Perhaps it is, just a bit."

"Right. And is this a 'murder and/or maroon the entire crew' kind of issue, or…?"

Stede shook his head adamantly. "No, it's– it's not that kind of issue, and Ed has already promised me he won't do that again, so I wouldn't worry."

Lucius seemed to relax, if only by a fraction. "Well, call me overcautious but I'd rather be safe than sorry, if you know what I mean, so um. Do you… wanna talk about it? Maybe?"

Lucius's uneasy probing gave Stede pause. Did he want to talk about it? Had he even gathered enough insight into his own misgivings to put it into sentences that made sense? Did people even usually talk about this sort of thing? Then again, wasn't he always preaching the importance of talking things through and not bottling things up?

Stede stood up, smoothing out his dressing gown and taking to pacing in front of the fireplace. "I suppose, ah, I'm uncertain how to address my lack of experience, with… with food," Stede choked out.

"Food?" Lucius repeated, dumbfounded.

"Y-yes," Stede answered, unwillingly committed to this weak excuse for an analogy, "I don't have a great lot of experience with many different foods, you see, and I believe Ed… Well, Ed has lots of experience with a lot of dishes that I'm not familiar with. From all over the world, I'd expect." Stede drummed his fingers on the fireplace mantel. "Compared to him, my own knowledge of exotic foods must pale in comparison, and I suppose… I'm worried I won't be good enough."

Lucius's face was scrunched as though he'd eaten something sour. "...Ah. You're worried you won't be good enough to…" He cleared his throat, searching for the right words. "...to eat with him. Because he knows more about… food, than you do."

Stede only nodded. Lucius sucked his lips into his mouth for a moment, considering. He grabbed his journal and stood up, tucking it into his arms.

"Yeah, um. Not sure if this will help, but. I'm fairly knowledgeable about cuisine, myself. But… Well, I didn't start off a food wiz, did I? I had no idea what I was doing at first, and I definitely ate some meals I regret, at the beginning. But it's not all about experience. If you're lucky enough to have a partner you trust, then you can learn together. Just let Captain Ed know what kind of… erm, foods you like."

"What if I don't know what kind of foods I like?"

"Then you can figure that out together, too." Lucius offered Stede a strained smile and gave him an awkward pat on the shoulder. "So, um, can I go now? Like, are we done with this weird metaphor?"

Stede cringed, his worst fears confirmed. "Yes, but I really would have liked it if you'd kept pretending we were talking about food."

"And I really would have liked it if I'd actually thought we were talking about food," Lucius countered apologetically, "but we don't always get what we want."

Chapter Text

"I could slit your throat, Bonnet. Watch you bleed out right here on the deck of your own ship."

Stede doesn't think Ed will do that, not really, but the threat hangs there in the air between them and in Ed's wild eyes, eyes that are almost unfamiliar to Stede. The cool blade of Ed's dagger presses uncomfortably against Stede's throat; it hurts to swallow.

"And I would deserve it, Ed, believe me. The hurt I've caused… my god, I deserve so much more."

"You didn't hurt me," Ed - no, Blackbeard - snarls. "You opened my eyes."

"Ed, please–"

Ed steps in closer. His voice is a frenzied, harsh whisper. "You didn't fucking hurt me, you get that? You… you left, you left me there, and… and–"

Stede chances reaching out, his heart panging painfully at the way Ed flinches away from his touch. The dagger breaks the first layer of skin; Ed's eyes follow the thin line of blood that trickles down Stede's neck, his breathing becoming rough, uneven. Stede barely feels the sting of the dagger against his throat, instead he focuses on touching Ed's face, gently, lovingly, fingertips tracing over his clenched jaw. If Ed kills him now, he'll have deserved it, of that Stede is absolutely certain.

"I'm so sorry, Ed," Stede whispers. "I'm so sorry."

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Stede's eyes popped open and a strangled gasp pushed past his lips. It took him a moment to properly orient himself, realizing that he was no longer begging for Ed's forgiveness; that whole mess had already been resolved weeks ago. Sluggishly, Stede pulled off his velvet eye mask. Currently, he was in his bed, and judging by the purple-gold light gleaming through the windows, it was very early. Stede rolled his head to the side; Ed was sound asleep beside him, curled against Stede's body with his arm draped over Stede's chest.

Stede took a moment just to look at him, watching Ed's face in the dim morning light. He looked so serene, so unguarded. What a wonder. Just moments ago Stede's unconscious mind had plunged him back to a time when he'd broken Ed's trust so profoundly he'd worried he could never gain it back. During that time, he wondered if it would ever be possible to see Ed happy again, to be able to pass the time with him like they used to.

Now they shared a bed nearly every night, and Ed slept beside him like this. Somehow, despite all odds, Ed had forgiven him. He trusted Stede again. Stede wasn't sure he could ever feel worthy of that unwavering trust, no matter how desperately he'd tried to claw it back all those weeks ago.

Stede recalled the scandalous book hidden under his bed. Was this why he'd been feeling so insecure lately?

Beside him, Ed stirred, breathing a deep sigh in his sleep. Stede's heart softened in his chest at the sight, though it felt simultaneously as though his entire chest had tightened into a knot. Love was such a strange thing, wasn't it? It was painful in its earnestness. Stede lifted his arm - the one that wasn't pinned under Ed - and reached over to gently swipe a lock of wild, gray-black hair away from Ed's forehead, tucking it behind his ear. He let his knuckles trace feather-light over Ed's cheekbone.

"I don't deserve you," Stede whispered.

Perhaps sensing his partner was awake, Ed's eyes slowly blinked open. For a moment Stede was worried Ed might have heard his self-deprecating admission, but the soft, sleepy smile now shaping Ed's lips made him think otherwise. Ed let his eyes fall closed again, snuggling in a bit closer.

"Hey." Ed muttered.

"Good morning," Stede whispered to him. "Sleep well?"

"Mm," The arm that was slung over Stede's chest pulled Stede over on his side, positioning the men practically nose to nose. Stede laid his hand on Ed's waist. "Yeah, I think so. Been sleeping pretty good lately."

Ed didn't usually sleep well, nor did he have the healthiest sleeping habits, but since they'd been sharing a bed Stede noticed Ed tended to sleep much more soundly. Stede couldn't quite put into words how that made him feel, but fantastic was an accurate descriptor.

"It's still early," Stede pointed out softly. "You can sleep a bit longer if you'd like."

Ed snuggled closer somehow, though Stede hadn't thought that was possible. His arms were now wrapped around Stede's neck, dragging him into what had basically become a sideways hug, though Stede wasn't complaining. He buried his face in Ed's hair, breathing deeply.

"Naw," Ed mumbled, though Stede could barely make out the words. "Just wanna lay here for a few."

It was then, when Stede fully recognized the closeness of their bodies - they were positively flush at this point, and it was clear Ed was becoming aroused by their proximity as well - that he wanted to do… something. He wasn't certain what that something was, or what variety of somethings would follow it, but the temptation was there all the same. The desire for more touching, more closeness, and perhaps less clothing were imminent, but he had no idea what to do with that desire. Did Ed want him to make a move? Was Ed subtly trying to hint at something, or was he just sleepy and cuddly?

Ed nuzzled his nose into Stede's neck and made such a contented sound that Stede couldn't find it in him to spend any more time worrying about it. Not for a few more hours, at least.

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.

"I think I've spotted her, mate." Ed was hanging off the rigging with a spyglass pressed to one eye, his mouth pulled up in an excited grin. "Yeah, I want that one."

Stede stepped closer, taking the spyglass as Ed handed it down to him. Using it, he could see the French merchant ship Ed was interested in. He whistled.

"Lovely," Stede agreed. "How long until we overtake her?"

Ed jumped down off the rigging, leaning back against the rail. "Two hours, maybe three."

"No time for a proper Fuckery, then."

"No, I'd say not. Think we just raid this one the old-fashioned way."

Stede clapped his hands together. "Right, okay." He spun on his heel, addressing the scattered crew. "Listen up, everyone! We've got a ship in our sights, and we'll be upon them in a few hours. You know what that means!"

Oluwande's hand shot up faster than anyone else's. "I call cocoa," he said. Groans followed him.

"I was going to say cocoa!" The Swede said, disappointed.

"You always go too safe, mate," Frenchie said to Oluwande, absently strumming his lute. "Aim of the game is to call weird stuff, innit? Then you'll get more loot."

"Rather get something than nothing," Oluwande pointed out.

"It's a safe choice to be sure - might hurt his score in the end - but Oluwande said it first so he's called it," Stede announced. "Who else?"

"Knives," Jim called.

Oluwande shoved them playfully in the shoulder. "You say knives every time. There is never going to be a ship that's hauling knives for trade."

"There has to be at least one, and when we find it, I'm gonna have a fuck ton of knives," Jim replied matter-of-factly.

"Yeah okay, put me down for gold, then." Lucius said.

"You sure you wanna call gold?" Ed asked. "The higher the quality of the item you call dibs on, the less of it you win if you're right. Gold's kinda the highest quality shit there is, mate."

Lucius's eyebrows shot up and he put a hand on his hip. "You know, I think I'm the only one on this ship who knows how to actually play this game? A little bit of gold is worth more than a couple crates full of cocoa or a whole bloody boat full of knives. Calling gold every time just makes the most sense?"

Stede frowned. "Perhaps, but where's the fun in that?"

Black Pete, who had been appearing to think very hard, suddenly raised his hand. "Oh! I call frying pans."

"You think that ship might be carrying… frying pans? In bulk? For trade?" Roach asked skeptically.

Black Pete rolled his eyes, irate. "Well I don't fucking know, do I? But if it is, I win, and you're gonna be super jealous of all my frying pans."

The rest of the crew joined in the game, calling dibs on various kinds of loot. After all dibs had been claimed, the crew began preparing for the raid in the usual ways; sharpening weapons, singing songs and choosing which flag to fly when they came close enough to overtake the ship. Stede, however, usually prepared in other ways, such as disappearing into his rooms to make himself some tea and possibly read a book, if there was time. Taking some time to clear his head and stamp down the nerves. Today, however, when Stede entered his rooms, his head was anything but clear.

The book hidden (expertly) under his bed was nagging at him with its very existence. He needed to get rid of the vulgar thing. He hated owning a book he couldn't proudly display, and he still didn't know why he'd bought the blasted thing in the first place! A panic purchase, more than likely, but now his impulsive decision was backfiring horribly.

Stede slipped a hand under his mattress and pulled the book from under it, scowling at the innocuous cover.

Just then, a genius plan formed in his mind. He could smuggle this wretched book to the merchant ship and leave it among their books! He could be rid of it without destroying it - after all, it was still a piece of literature and he couldn't bring himself to torch it - and no one would be the wiser. It was perfect! Relief instantly flooded him.

Stede sat in his armchair, thumb pressed against the seam of the front cover of the book. Well, if he was to be rid of the book within the hour… Certainly there wouldn't be any harm in reading a little more, would there?

Content with his reasoning, Stede cracked the book open once again, curiously and cautiously skimming the pages.

He hadn't read enough to understand the basic premise before, but the book seemed to feature two central characters, Katherine and Frances, who spent much of the book discussing, for all intents and purposes, fucking. In graphic detail. Despite his discomfort, Stede tried reading some of the bits that might, perhaps, give him some insight.

He read on. And read a bit more, and then against his better judgment, he skipped ahead to the illustrations. He frowned down at the pages.

Could something like this really help him improve his intimacy with Ed? All of these examples, both written and illustrated, were between a man and a woman. Stede was certainly no expert on these things, but he was fairly sure the differences were bound to be unhelpful to him. Did men do these kinds of positions together, as well? How did one manage when there were two appendages to contend with?

And there, he'd gone and flustered himself again.

There was no end to the queries, Stede lamented. Too inexperienced to sort it out for himself, and too embarrassed to ask about it, to admit how utterly inexperienced he actually was. What a frustrating position to be in!

Stede was never particularly good at noticing when someone entered his rooms - a lack of self-awareness was probably not ideal for a pirate captain, but Stede had managed to avoid being murdered in his sleep so far - though he seemed to be even less so when he was distracted with sordid reading material. He was so far engrossed in his reading and thinking he hadn't noticed his door open, close, nor the sound of boots stopping just beside him.

"What's this you're reading?" Ed's voice came from directly next to Stede so suddenly that in response Stede very nearly shrieked and immediately launched the book behind him so forcefully that it hit a chandelier, knocking several of the candles off of it before it fell to the floor with a pathetic flop.

The room went very quiet. The chandelier continued to swing overhead.

"Would you believe me," Stede finally said, very calmly, "if I said I thought I saw a bee?"

"Uh, well, no," Ed replied. "A bee? Really?"

Stede offered Ed a pleading expression. "I panicked."

"Clearly." Ed eyed the book, eyebrows climbing up his forehead. "So… Are we gonna talk about this new book throwing thing you're doing, or…?"

Stede slowly stood up, righting his jacket with a slow, defeated sigh. "It's… Well." He met Ed's eyes, dark and kind and blown open in concern. Stede suddenly felt almost as though his throat had closed up. "It's nothing."

It was impossible to ignore Ed's crestfallen expression, and it hurt Stede's heart in the worst way. Despite his obvious disappointment, Ed touched Stede's shoulder gently, giving him an encouraging squeeze.

"Kay. Just, uh. Let me know if nothing becomes something, alright?"

Stede's heart was in a stranglehold. How could he be this timid, this secretive with someone he claimed he loved? His first love, no less, and preferably his only. And after all the pain he'd already put Ed through…? No, it wasn't right. This was getting ridiculous, really. Out with it!

"Actually, Ed–"

A knock came at the door, and a moment later the door swung open and Buttons framed the doorway, eyes wide and mouth set in a firm line.

"Sorry to bother ye, Captains, but we'll be upon the merchant ship soon," he said.

Stede cleared his throat, turning to their first mate, unsure whether Buttons had inadvertently saved him or doomed him. "Ah, thank you, we'll be out in a moment."

Buttons nodded and took his leave. Stede turned back to Ed, maybe to continue, maybe not, but Ed decided for both of them with an encouraging slap on Stede's arm.

"Time to go to work. Let's get out there, yeah?"

Chapter Text

As far as raids went, the invasion of the French ship - The Saint Louis, apparently - was a smashing success, in Stede's humble opinion.

The French were not particularly good at fending off pirate attacks. In Stede's experience at least, French vessels were exceedingly easy to take and he usually saw little resistance from the crew. Although Ed was no longer easily recognizable as Blackbeard, his presence was still intimidating enough that most crews still surrendered whenever he appeared, but the French always tended to be especially submissive.

They'd reached the part of the excursion where the ship's crew was either bound and gagged or thrown overboard - at Stede's continued insistence, violence was to be used only when absolutely necessary - and it was time to pillage the ship for its wares.

"Holy shitting fuck," Ed murmured. The crew crowded around their Captains, making similar exclamations of disbelief as each of them witnessed what was stored in the ship's cargo hold. Lucius barked an incredulous laugh.

"Oh you have got to be kidding!" he shouted.

Ed shook his head, moving aside to allow Jim to peek in at the stacks of long, thin crates, the topmost popped open to reveal a set of gleaming belt knives. "Fucking knives."

"Ah joder sí, I knew it," Jim yelled, pushing past the others to stride into the cargo hold, victorious. "And they're all mine, tontos!"

"Credit where credit is due," Stede admitted, clapping into his palm. "Well done, Jim! That might be the biggest win we've had so far!"

As Jim rightfully lorded over their prize, the crew dispersed, all of them taking their time to comb through the various rooms and reserves of the ship to see what loot they could scrounge up. Ed, as was usual during these kinds of raids, made his way to the captain's quarters. Unless the ship was carrying particularly valuable cargo, the captain's cabin was usually where the real treasure was. Maps, prized possessions, and sometimes caches of money or jewelry were pretty much guaranteed, and Stede was always happy to let Ed pillage to his heart's content.

He usually joined him, but today he wasn't sure if he should.

The way their conversation on The Revenge had ended - or rather, it hadn't ended, which was the crux of the issue - didn't sit well with Stede. Instead of joining the others in looting and other general pirate activities, Stede took to pacing idly on the quarterdeck, chewing on his knuckle. He must have looked rather nervous, because it wasn't long before Lucius joined him, sitting down nearby on a stool beside two tied-up crewmen.

"Hello Captain," he said, in a voice that suggested he was just testing to see if Stede could hear him.

Stede hummed in reply, still fixed on his little pre-chosen path across the deck. "Yes, Lucius, do you need something?"

"Me? No, no. I'm good. Are - are you good, though?"

Stede's eyes rose to regard Lucius, finally pulling his knuckle away from his mouth. He sighed. "I guess you could say I'm wrestling with some things, at present."

"Yeah, that's pretty clear." Lucius gestured to the pacing Stede was still doing, albeit less manically than a moment ago. "So… You haven't talked to Captain Ed about food yet, huh?"

Stede glanced around them, making certain they were quite outside of earshot - disregarding the French crewmen, of course - and huffed, embarrassed. "Not - not exactly, no."

"Meaning?"

"Not at all." Stede sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I was just about to mention it, but we were interrupted, and now–"

"And now," Lucius cut him off, "we're in the middle of a raid, so it'd be kinda awkward."

Stede thought to agree, but he wasn't sure if he wanted to. It wasn't ideal, of course, but this whole bothersome business was beginning to test Stede's resolve, weeks of repressed insecurities bubbling to the surface alarmingly fast. He hated dragging this out. Was it a matter of trust? No, of course not. So why not just talk this through? What the devil was he waiting for?

Lucius stood up, patting Stede on the shoulder encouragingly. "Or maybe it wouldn't be?" he said. "Anyway, the rest of the crew will be busy turning the ship upside down for the next couple of hours if you have anywhere you wanna be, m'kay?"

Lucius left him there on the quarterdeck with much to think about, but fortunately, Stede had already made up his mind. Navigating almost entirely on instinct, Stede made haste to the lower deck and stopped only when he'd found the captain's cabin.

Stede opened the door with enough gusto that it struck the wall with an urgent thud. Ed - who was busy pilfering through the drawers and cabinets of a large cedar desk - glanced up in mild alarm, like he was expecting bad news. Stede sucked in a deep breath through his nose.

"Ed," he began with all the authority and courage he could muster, "I'd like to do sex, ah, things, with - with you." Perhaps that could have been a fair bit more eloquent, but alas.

Ed's expression was hard to discern. He looked surprised and confused and a myriad of other things Stede couldn't decipher, but Stede had let the proverbial cat out of the bag, so to speak, so he continued as if to clarify.

"So, I thought - I thought I should let you know, because I want to be open and honest with you. I'm… not very experienced, myself, but if you're, ah, open to more intimacy, I would love to try! Try… things, or…" At Ed's continued silence, Stede's confidence was quickly dwindling. "...unless you're not interested, in which case–"

Ed raised a hand in a gentle plea for silence, seeming to shake himself out of his stupor. "That's - that's not, uh. Wow." He shook his head. "Sorry. You took me a little off-guard, is all."

"Perfectly understandable, this was probably not the time or place to bring this up." Stede admitted nervously.

From somewhere to his right, an unfamiliar voice spoke sullenly in a thick French accent. "No, it really isn't."

Stede jumped, whirling on the spot to find the ship's captain bound tightly with rope and laying uselessly on his side by the wall. Stede groaned. "Oh, gosh, I didn't– was he here the whole time?"

Ed moved around the desk, gesturing something vaguely threatening at the French captain. "You, shut your fucking mouth. And you," he looked to Stede now, his expression softening. "It's not the best time or place, I'll grant you that, but… Well, we're talking now, aren't we? Maybe we should just, uh, keep at it."

Stede breathed an internal sigh of relief. "Really?"

"Yeah." Ed motioned for him to follow, and the two of them walked to the other side of the room, Ed taking Stede's hand in his to lead him to a small sitting area under a tall, narrow window facing the starboard side of the ship. Ed sat himself on the bench under the window, still holding firm to Stede's hand. "So, can I assume this is why you've been acting a little out of sorts lately?"

Stede nodded apologetically. "It's ridiculous, I know."

"No," Ed was quick to say, "no, it isn't. It's… Yeah. This is sorta my fault, I think."

Stede frowned. "Your fault? No, Ed–"

"Just hear me out, okay?" Ed asked gently. He sighed, his thumb rubbing the top of Stede's hand in small circles. "I know I've been sending some mixed signals. I have, I know I have, and that must have been fuckin' confusing."

Stede sat beside Ed, clasping his other hand over Ed's. "Well… I'm not particularly well-versed on signals of that nature, if I'm honest. But… I suppose I have noticed something has been a bit off. I just assumed–"

"Yeah, I think I know what you assumed. I'm sorry for that." Ed said.

Stede was in disbelief. "So… It has nothing to do with my, uh, lack of experience?" he asked.

Ed looked down. He shook his head. "No." His chest rose and fell with a deep, regretful sigh. "Not yours. Mine."

A surprised gasp sounded from the other side of the room. Ed and Stede both glanced up, annoyed. "Shut up!" they shouted in unison. When they were positive their unwelcome guest had gone silent once again, Stede turned his attention back to Ed, whose eyes were currently drawn away from Stede in clear embarrassment.

"Yours?" Stede repeated softly, confused. "Ed, what do you mean? I thought you'd…?"

"I have," Ed clarified sheepishly. "Plenty of times. But I've never been, uh…" he struggled to search for the rest of the words, his shame apparent, "...never been sober, uh, during."

Stede was stunned into silence. Never in his wildest dreams could he ever have imagined that Ed - his Ed, the man formerly known as the dreaded pirate Blackbeard - hadn't had a single intimate experience with a clear head. Stede's heart stung viciously. Has nothing in Ed's life ever been pleasant, safe or warm? His hold on Ed's hand tightened protectively.

"Ed… You mean that…?"

Ed shifted uncomfortably. "I've, uh, messed around. With lots of blokes, I suppose, but I don't remember who most of them were. I'm sure a lot of them are probably dead now. It was just something to fill the time, something to relieve stress… But it usually didn't help."

Stede inched a bit closer to Ed, their hips touching. "When I asked you who your first kiss was, you weren't just being secretive, were you? You really don't remember."

Ed laughed through his nose. His mouth turned up in a humorless grin, and he met Stede's eyes for the first time since he'd started talking about his past. "Nope. Though, if my vague recollection of events is accurate, I'm pretty sure kissing was never part of the deal anyway. As far as I'm concerned," he glanced down at their joined hands, and his smile became a little less sad, "my first kiss was a man named Stede Bonnet, sitting together on a rocky shore as the sun set over the sea."

A gentle, vaguely emotional chuckle caught in Stede's throat. "After everything, I hope that's still a sweet memory for you."

"It is." Ed gently fidgeted with Stede's ring finger between his forefinger and thumb.

"It is for me as well," Stede admitted softly. The two of them fell quiet for a moment or two. Ed continued to gently rub and fuss with Stede's fingers, and Stede watched him, lost in his loving ministrations. Finally, Stede uttered a soft laugh. "It seems like we've both been very worried about a whole lot of nothing."

"Seems like," Ed chuckled.

Stede inched closer still, their shoulders bumping. "You're really not put off by my lack of experience? Not at all?"

Ed met his eyes again, and this time his expression was so heartfelt and sincere that the last of Stede's doubts vanished before he'd even uttered a word. "I don't care about that, mate. If anything, I was terrified of disappointing you. I've never been with anyone I cared about before you, Stede. I wanna treat you right, I don't wanna do anything you'd regret or hate."

Stede could not fathom why his private conversation with Calico Jack suddenly popped into his mind, especially at a time like this, but a word floated in his mind: Dalliances. Blackie and I have had our dalliances, Jack said, as though he were gloating. Something hot and indignant surged within Stede, almost overwhelming him in its intensity. How could anyone treat their intimacy with Ed so cheaply? Had none of them ever realized how kind, amazing and brilliant he was? It was their loss, then, and Stede's incredible gain.

Before he could stop himself - but he didn't need to stop himself anymore, did he? - Stede touched a hand to Ed's cheek and guided him into a kiss. Ed responded eagerly, taking Stede's face in his hands, kissing him slow and deep and in every way that drove Stede's mind into a foggy haze of pure joy.

They pulled apart just enough for Ed to speak; his lips were slick and hot and he spoke softly - shakily - against Stede's mouth.

"I don't wanna screw this up," Ed said.

"You won't. You're perfect, Ed."

"I don't want - don't want to hurt you," For the first time since they'd started talking, Ed sounded frightened.

"You wouldn't hurt me. I trust you with everything, absolutely everything."

Ed's fingers fluttered over Stede's throat, over the pale, unmarred patch of skin where he'd left a thin, bloody cut weeks ago. "Not sure if you should."

"I should," Stede said firmly. "I would, I do." They kissed again, their mouths searing hot against one another and the heat was beginning to uncoil something in Stede's gut, something insistent. Letting instinct guide him, Stede grabbed at Ed's jacket to pull him closer, and before he realized it Ed was over him, pinning him to the bench, straddling Stede's hips. Stede's heart felt like it was going to pound its way out of his chest and abandon him altogether.

Ed's mouth moved to Stede's jaw, then his neck. He hooked his fingers around Stede's cravat, tugging it loose to allow him more access. "So." Ed began between kisses and, oh, whatever marvelous thing he was doing with his tongue, "you said you wanted to try some sex stuff with me."

Stede nodded, maybe a little too eagerly. And only you, Stede wanted to say, but he assumed he had quite a long time to say that to Ed in a variety of different ways, and he was far too distracted by Ed's hot mouth sucking along the side of his neck to speak.

"Any objections to getting started right now?" Ed murmured against his skin.

Stede let loose a breathy laugh. "R-right now? In the middle of a - ah - raid?"

"Mm. Yeah." Ed suddenly stopped, pulling up enough to meet Stede's eyes. "Or… Shit, sorry, that's - I'm moving a little too fast, right?"

A strange thrill shot through Stede, white hot and terrifying. Exhilarating.

"Actually," Stede said, clearing his throat primly, "That sounds fantastic."

A dry cough from across the room diverted the men's attention, both of their heads snapping in the direction of the noise. Somehow, both Stede and Ed had completely forgotten about their silent (and unwilling) companion, and if Stede hadn't been so turned on, he might have laughed. Ed cursed under his breath and got up, adjusting himself before he approached the tied and bound captain of The Saint Louis.

"Fucks sake, you could have bloody well said something, man," Ed grumbled as he hoisted the man up, half-dragging him toward the door.

"You told me to shut up!" the captain exclaimed as he was unceremoniously tossed out of his own cabin. The poor man landed with a thud outside the door and Ed shut it after him, turning the heavy brass lock to ensure no one could come bursting in at an inopportune moment. Stede involuntarily swallowed.

Ed turned to him, his eyes boring into Stede's with purpose. His chest was rising and falling hard and fast, and Stede realized that his own breath was just as labored, his pulse deafening in his ears.

"Okay," Ed said huskily. "Tell me what you'd like me to do."

For a moment, Stede worried those words alone might make him fall to pieces, but somehow he pulled himself together enough to say, "A-actually, if we could pick up where we just left off, that would be a great start."

Chapter Text

It was fair to assert, Stede thought, that most people speculate on their future at one point or another.

Almost everyone has hopes and dreams about how their life may unfold. Some are realistic, some aren't, but there's usually a clear path laid out, an expectation for which path to take. Where to end up. Most people just hope for simple comforts; an agreeable marriage, money and security. Stede had that, once, he had what many people coveted; land and wealth, a wife with acreage and healthy children. That should have been enough, but Stede had always yearned for a different path. Until his conversation with Mary the night he'd nearly been (justifiably) skewered, he'd never known exactly why he'd found such a comfortable, glamorous life so undesirable. It wasn't the life he wanted for himself. It didn't make him happy, didn't make Mary happy either, and finally he knew why. He understood.

Still, after all of that, of all the paths Stede might have chosen he never could have imagined that it would lead him here, to the captain's cabin of a recently invaded French merchant vessel, being felt up by Edward Teach. He couldn't complain, of course. Life was just funny that way.

He'd never been kissed like this before. He'd been kissed by Ed, sure, kissed breathless and kissed sweetly and kissed in ways he'd never experienced, but this was different. This was unhinged and impassioned and leading somewhere - to where, Stede had no idea - but he knew he was happy to oblige, happy to match Ed's pace and give him back just as much as he was getting. He had nothing to fret about now, nothing to feel ashamed of. They were going to learn together.

"Shit," Ed breathed against the seam of Stede's mouth, "shit, just - just tell me what you want, I'll do anything for you."

Stede's back was pressed hard against the wall, Ed's hands roaming all over him. "I don't know," Stede half-laughed, half-gasped. He recalled his short conversation with Lucius in his quarters days ago, when Lucius had suggested to him that he tell Ed what kinds of 'foods' he liked. Stede still wasn't sure what he liked, but Lucius had a suggestion for that issue as well.

Then you can figure that out together, too.

"More of this," Stede said, moaning quietly as Ed nibbled on the shell of his ear. "Everything you do feels incredible, Ed."

Ed pulled away just enough to grab Stede's chin in one hand and tilt his face so they could look each other in the eye. "You tell me, then, if I cross a line," he said, his voice rough and thick with arousal, "Cause I'm just gonna go for it, mate."

A thrill shot through Stede. "I'll, uh, let you know," he said softly. "Same goes for you, you know. I don't want you thinking my comfort is the only thing that matters here." Stede's hands slipped to Ed's waist, his fingers curling into Ed's shirt. "I want us both to enjoy this."

Ed chuckled, wetting his upper lip with the tip of his tongue, which drove a jolt of longing straight to Stede's groin. "Oh believe me, I'm enjoying this."

Their mouths came back together in a crushing kiss, and Ed's hands flew to Stede's jacket, blindly working through the buttons. Stede helped him along, much more adept at navigating the obscene number of buttons and fastenings, and together the two of them managed it. Stede shouldered his jacket off and it fell to the floor - he'd have to get Lucius to help him with the ironing, later - and as soon as it was off, they struggled with his waistcoat, tie and cravat.

"Too many fucking layers," Ed mumbled against the curve of Stede's jaw. Stede laughed breathlessly.

"In all fairness, I was not expecting to - ah - undress during a raid on an enemy ship." Together they pulled off Stede's tie, and it landed in a heap on top of his coat. His waistcoat followed shortly after, leaving him wearing a white cotton shirt that Ed's fingers immediately skirted underneath. His hands were burning hot against Stede's skin, the cool metal of his rings sending shivers up and down Stede's spine. "If I'd known that, I might have dressed a little lighter."

Ed chuckled against Stede's throat, rubbing the pads of his thumbs against Stede's nipples. The sound Stede made in response nearly embarrassed him. He was certain he'd never made a sound like that in his life, but Ed saved him the trouble of embarrassing himself again by reclaiming his mouth in another hot kiss.

Stede's mind was beginning to feel quite floaty and far-away from it all, from the way Ed was kissing him to the way he was touching him, like he was so incredibly desired; all of it felt surreal, in a way. After all this time, he was still surprised that he could have this, that they could steal these moments and make them real. And now that they'd talked things through, so to speak, most of Stede's hesitancy and concern had cleared away, leaving him feeling so much more grounded in everything. Confident, perhaps.

So confident, in fact, that Stede reached around and rested his hands on Ed's ass, pulling their waists flush with one another.

It was Ed's turn to make a noise, now, and the sound of it thrilled Stede to bits.

"Shit, Stede," Ed panted, bracing his arms on either side of Stede's head against the wall. "I want your pants off."

"Okay," Stede pushed out, his throat going very dry.

"I wanna suck your prick." Ed continued.

Stede nodded adamantly. "Oh my god, yes. Y-yeah."

The next few moments were a haze, the blood pumping so hard in Stede's ears he could barely stop from shaking as he assisted Ed in unfastening his breeches and yanking them down around his ankles. Stede couldn't deny he felt wildly exposed as he was, standing there in nothing but a shirt in an unfamiliar room on an enemy ship, but all that discomfort flew away the instant Ed dropped to his knees and took Stede's length into his mouth.

"Ed…!" Stede wasn't sure where to grab or what to do. The feeling was overwhelming in the best way, and unlike anything Stede had ever experienced before. He'd never done anything like this with Mary - of course he hadn't, they'd barely touched one another throughout their marriage - but even if he had, Stede was certain it wouldn't feel anything like this.

Stede chanced glancing down and almost nearly finished on the spot. Ed was swallowing him to the base, eyes closed in concentration, cheeks hollowed, holding back his long hair to keep it out of his way while he worked. The sight of it was almost too much - very nearly too much, actually - and after a few more feverish moments he grabbed blindly for Ed, gaining his attention so that Ed stopped what he was doing and allowed himself to be pulled to his feet.

"Stede, what–"

Stede wasn't certain what he was doing anymore. He knew he was kissing Ed again, hard and wantonly, and his hands were shaking and pulling at Ed's pants, a silent plea for Ed to rid himself of them. Ed seemed to follow Stede's lead and undid his pants, pulling them down just enough to free his own manhood.

"T-together," Stede gasped, pulling Ed closer and feeling a jolt of pleasure shoot through him when he felt their pricks brush against each other. "Ed, please–"

"Fuck," Ed needed no further prompting. He circled his hand around both of them and pumped, swallowing Stede's moans. Stede wound his arms around Ed's neck, hanging on for dear life as he rode through the waves of pleasure that hit him, something hot and dangerous coiling in the pit of his stomach. The pleasure was building, climbing alarmingly fast; Ed rested their foreheads together, panting hard through gritted teeth.

"Stede, fuck, I'm…"

"Me too, m-me too, oh god–"

It wasn't much longer for either of them. Stede let himself go, led through it by Ed's skilled hands and whispered words of encouragement. Ed followed soon after, making an almost pained sound, not unlike when Stede ran him through all those months ago. Stede held the back of Ed's head like Ed was the only thing keeping him afloat as he struggled to remain standing upright, his entire body shaking and weak and entirely spent. Ed held onto him, and for a moment they just held each other, breathing, until Stede heard a hitch in Ed's breathing that sounded suspiciously like a sob.

Stede opened his eyes and turned his gaze up to find Ed staring back at him, his eyes glossy with tears.

"Oh, Ed," Stede breathed, touching a hand to Ed's cheek.

Ed blinked the tears away, glancing down in embarrassment. "Fuck, sorry, that's - that's not what someone should be doin' after something that amazing, right?" he chuckled tearfully. Stede smiled at him, gently tilting his face back up to meet his eyes.

"Maybe it is?" Stede said. "Maybe, if someone finally gets to do something like that with someone they really care about for the first time, maybe it gets a little emotional?"

"Maybe," Ed answered, some of the tears reemerging. Stede kissed Ed's beard, his cheeks, between his brows and then finally his lips.

"I've never felt like that," Stede admitted with a shaky laugh. "Not ever."

"I didn't go too far, did I?" Ed asked softly, searching Stede's face for any sign of regret or hesitancy. He wouldn't find any, of course, but Stede still thought it was an incredibly sweet gesture.

"Absolutely not." Stede affirmed. "My only regret at this juncture is that we aren't able to lounge around in a comfortable bed after the fact."

Ed grinned; his eyes were warm, now. Happy. "I reckon we've got lots of time for that," Ed pointed out. "Right now, though, let's hope our nosy Monsieur Capitaine has extra clothes or towels or something in here so we can clean up a bit and not look like we just did what we totally just did."

"That would be nice," Stede agreed, smiling. It was hard not to smile, just at the moment.

.

.

.

Whether or not Stede and Ed were successful in not looking like they did what they totally just did was up for debate, but ultimately none of the crew questioned how long they had been in the captain's cabin, or that Ed was wearing a different shirt then when he'd gone in. Lucius looked rather pleased with himself, but that might have been for a different reason altogether.

It took nearly two hours to offload the many crates of knives (JIM'S knives, in case there was any confusion) and other spoils to The Revenge. The sun was low in the sky when they sailed away from the thoroughly beaten merchant ship, leaving behind a Captain who perhaps knew too much about Stede and Ed's relationship, but Stede thought it was a small price to pay for such an incredible result. Hours later his legs were still shaky, a fact that absolutely delighted him, but it also made him eager to retire to his comfortable chambers for the night.

"So this is what got you acting all weird these last few days?" Ed asked, sprawled out on the settee, flipping through the pages of the accursed book. He stopped at one of the illustrated pages, whistling. "Damn."

"It's not as if I even meant to bring it onboard in the first place," Stede attempted to defend himself, although he knew it was quite pointless to try at this point.

"Prude," Ed teased, closing the book and waving it idly. "So, to the sharks with this one, then? Or has it earned a place on your bookshelves?"

Stede sat himself next to Ed, taking The School of Venus from him and smoothing his hand over its innocuous cover. "Why not display it with my other books? It's nothing to be ashamed of, after all, and as strange as it is, I suppose it's helped me in a way. To the bookshelf it goes!"

Ed frowned deeply. "You know that's actually a terrible idea, right? Because of the–"

"Because of the pictures, yes," Stede sighed, grimacing. "I just thought of that. Damn."

"It'll be the only book anyone ever borrows. And it'll always come back sticky."

Stede laughed despite the horrific mental images those words conjured up. "Or it won't come back at all." He set the book aside. "I suppose I could always keep it in a drawer."

"A drawer sounds good."

Ed stood up, stretching his arms up with a satisfying groan. "Well, I think it might be time for a spot o' tea," he said, starting off towards the cabinet where the kettle and tea cups were kept. "You want the ushe?"

Stede cleared his throat, standing up as well. "Actually," he started, feeling heat rise rapidly in his cheeks, "I think I might like to take tea later. After - after perhaps resting in bed, uhm, for a while? Uh, together? In the bed?"

Ed turned, a knowing grin tugging at his lips. "We're gonna have to work on your delivery for dirty talk, mate."

Stede was already unbuttoning his waistcoat. "Is that a yes, then?"

"Oh, abso-fucking-lutely."

Stede hummed. "Then I'd say I'm doing pretty well as it is."