Archive of Our Own ^beta

Robin has pulled a lot of utterly ridiculous stunts before, things that often made Kalego wonder if there was truly anything inside that stupid green head of his. But never, never, did he think that fool would do something as ridiculous as this.

‘This’ referring to Robin standing at his front door on a weekend, holding up a child by the armpits.

"Kalego-se—" Kalego slams the door on his face.

Bangbangbangbangbang!

"Kalego-senseiiiiii!!" The fool’s idiot voice cries out, repeating the banging.

"Shut up! Stop knocking on my door! Leave!” Kalego roars out, fingers twitching with the burning desire to summon Cerberus and destroy the green haired menace where he stood, but first he had to know—“How the hell did you even find my house?!" Nobody knew where he lived! Nobody except the Chairdemon and—

"Balam-sensei!" Why?!

"Whatever! Get lost!" And he’ll deal with Shichiro letting this bastard know his address later. Thoroughly.

"But I need your help!" Robin’s voice sounds smushed, as if he were pressing his face against the door. Kalego only turns around and leaves with heavy stomping.

"Don't care! I don't want to deal with anything troublesome!" He snaps out as he continues to leave, determined to ignore the other and return to his previous activities. Which is, of course, planning the lesson for next week. Despite Kalego’s very clear declaration of not wanting to have anything to do with him, Robin keeps knocking.

And knocking.
And knocking.
And knocking.

For half an hour.

The pen in Kalego’s grasp snaps alongside his patience. Kalego slams his hands down against his desk as he shoots up, ready to follow through with his previous instinct of crushing him with Cerberus wholeheartedly—but then it falls silent.

“... Did he finally give up..?”

BAM!

“Kalego-senseiii!!” Robin cries from where he’s pushed up against the window. ‘Bambambambam’s’ sound as he insistently bashes his hand against the window, “Hey! Hey! Hey! Kalego-sensei? Can you hear me??” Loud and clear!

“What the hell?! Stop! Stop hitting it! You’re going to break it! Stop, you fool!” This was the second floor! How could one be so persistent as to fly just to continue bothering him?!

“Will you help me? Please? Please? Ple—?”

“Silence!! Just come in through the front door! And take your filthy hands off my window, you’re leaving fingerprints all over it!” Really, why did Shichiro give his address to such a pain in the ass?

"Yay! Thank you, Kalego-sensei! I knew I could count on someone as smart and reliable as you!"

Kalego lets out a heavy, heavy sigh, "... Shut up and come inside already."

【※】

“Well! Thanks for helping me out, Kalego-sensei!” Kalego grabs the face of the carefree, laughing idiot.

“Silence.” As Robin stiffens and starts to shake under his grasp, the child clutches at Robin’s shirt from behind while glancing nervously between the two of them. Clicking his tongue, Kalego releases Robin with a shove. Whatever.

“Why did you even bring a kid over?” He asks, wiping his hands free of Robin-germs. Robin raises his hand up as if answering a question in class,

“I bought him!” He answers, uselessly. Kalego rubs the bridge of his nose.

“Yes, I asked why you brought him.”

“Because I bought him and I didn’t know what to do, but you’re so smart and cool I thought you’d know instead!” Wait—

“Bought?” He repeats, slowly. Not brought?

“Yes!” Robin chirps all too cheerfully in his response.

. . .

“Get out.” He is absolutely not going to be part of this, at all.

"Wait wait wait! I need your help, Kalego-sensei!"

"I'm not a babysitter."

"Noooo, I need your help teaching him!" Robin scoops the kid up who allows it without a peep, only blinking curiously at Kalego with big blue eyes.

"Teach?" Kalego raises a brow, what the hell is he supposed to teach a brat?

"He doesn't know how to speak Demonic Language!" Robin raises the kid higher up and places him atop his shoulders, "I tried teaching him myself, but it wasn't working. So I thought a teacher as great as you would know what to do!"

"Take him to a daycare or something. I teach Demons how to increase their rank and survive in the Underworld, not how to count to 10 and sing the alphabet."

"Ohhh! That's a good idea! What's a song you recommend for teaching him the alphabet?"

"I don't know! Like I said, just throw him in a daycare!"

"But I'm worried the kids there might eat him… he smells so tasty even I want to take a bite." So the scent wasn’t just his imagination after all.

"Dump some scent maskers on him then." He says offhandedly, is the fool incapable of thinking for himself? How can someone like him possibly teach?

A gasp, "Scent maskers! You're right!! I completely forgot about those!" Robin shoots up with a slam against the table, the kid still on his shoulders flailing for balance before being placed down, "I'll go get those now! Thank you, Kalego-sensei! Watch him for me while I'm gone!" What?

"Oi, I told you I'm not a baby—" Robin is already out his door, "come back here you fool!!" Robin does not come back.

Kalego can only growl after being left in such a ridiculous situation, "You've got to be…" With the amount of trouble he’s been given thus far, Kalego would’ve assumed that this would be at the fault of Opera, and not the one demon he’s ever gotten along with. Seriously, what was he thinking?

"... Ro..?" At first, Kalego thought that the sound was only in his imagination, but upon turning to the child staring at the door, it confirms that they had indeed spoken for the first time.

Oh devi. They better not start screaming at the top of their lungs in tears now that Robin is gone. But the child only bites their lip, looks down, and remains completely silent.

… Well, they didn't cry, at least. No matter, he's dealt with far more than what he needs to already, he’s leaving. Why should he watch some random brat on his day off? He’s going back upstairs to finish his work and—

A tug on his shirt stops him.

"…What? Let go of me." Kalego looks down at the small child clinging to him. They return his gaze with a worried expression.

"I told you to let go." Pushing them away, he ignores their stumble and turns to leave again. Quiet footsteps sound behind him.

"Don't follow me." Kalego grumbles. But of course, the boy who doesn't understand the language, continues to follow him anyway.

… It could be worse, Kalego supposed. He's seen fledglings before, and they were an absolute headache he'd never wish to deal with in his lifetime. They were loud, destructive, never listen, and overall stupid. But this one is quiet and has yet to destroy anything—plus, he was momentarily free from the green haired menace of a newbie.

The child continues to trot behind him the entire time, even when they go up stairs nearly taller than he, struggling but never giving up. Not a word is exchanged between the two of them, which Kalego is grateful for because he’s not about to entertain some brat who can’t even speak properly at their age. Seriously, what the hell were their parents doing? Demons should be able to at least be able to speak basic sentences by now.

… Well, if the Newbie actually bought them, that could explain a few things. But Kalego didn’t want to open that can of worms, ignorance was bliss after all, and he has nothing to do with this. Entering the office he was forced to leave thanks to Robin, Kalego raises a single hand to bring over the previously abandoned paperwork to himself.

A loud gasp sounds behind him as the paperwork floats up.

“What?” Kalego raises a brow when they stand on their toes in a failed attempt to grab one. With an open mouth, they trot on over to chase the papers.

… Have they never seen this kind of magic before? Big blue eyes follow the papers until it lands into Kalego’s hand, then they look up to him with sparkles practically radiating from their very being. The look reminds him eerily of Robin, which makes his brow twitch.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Kalego snaps, the boy flinching in response. They quickly avert their gaze by downturning their head, but still make poorly hidden glances up to the paper in his grasp. Sighing, Kalego decides to just ignore him and heads to his desk to finish his work. They sit down next to him.

A frown and sideways glance has them scooting a short distance away, but they continue to remain closer than Kalego would prefer. He shakes his head and returns to his paperwork. Trying to get the point across to a kid who doesn’t understand him is far too much work.

Only the sound of his pen scraping against the paper fills the room, as while the boy is watching him curiously, they don't say a word. And just when Kalego was thinking that this wasn’t too bad, Robin bursts in.

“I bought a whole bunch of Scent Maskers!!” He loudly declares with his unwelcome entrance.

Kalego slams his fist against the table, “Stop coming into my house as you please!!”

“Aw, there you go again~ I bet you had a fun time with Iruma and you’re just too embarrassed to say!”

“Like hell?! Get rid of them already!”

The boy perks up, “Ro?”

“Ah, Iruma!” Robin grins wide and opens his arms, welcoming the approaching boy, “Were you a good boy for Kalego-sensei?” Good… Well, in terms of Demon Fledglings, maybe. No response comes from the small one, although they allow themselves to be picked up by Robin again just as easily as before.

“Now then, let’s see, let's see…” Robin adjusts his grip to hold the boy… Iruma, he said? in one arm, and shuffles through the shoppings bags for a moment. He pulls out a bottle of perfume and sprays it in the face of Iruma who coughs.

“There!”

“Don’t just spray random stuff inside! Leave!”

Robin ignores him and only sniffs the coughing boy, “Hmm…he still smells kinda tasty, does he need more?” He mumbles to himself before beginning to dig inside the bag again. Kalego rubs his temples in irritation. Would it be OK to just kill him? No, he’s a teacher at Babyls, halting the learning of the students while they find a substitute to replace him would be unacceptable.

Pssssssst

“I told you to stop spraying—!”

“Oh that’s right! Iruma hasn’t eaten yet!” Robin suddenly exclaims. Kalego sighs in relief. Perfect, they’re finally leav— “Can I borrow your kitchen, Kalego-sensei?”

“Ha?” Like hell?? The absolute audacity of this newbie! Demanding entry into his house, bothering him on a weekend, and leaving some random brat for him to watch by himself wasn’t enough? Now he’s asking to use his kitchen?

“Please? I won’t break anything or make any mess! I’ll even cook something for you, too!” Robin looks up at him with pleading eyes that only serve to infuriate Kalego to no end.

“I don’t want it! You’ve long overstayed your little visit, get lost!”

“Ehhh?? But I bet Iruma is super hungry by now!” Robin protests, stepping closer. Kalego swipes at him to back off.

“Don’t care! Take him somewhere to eat or cook at your own damn place!”

“Restaurants are unhealthy! I’ll leave after he eats! Don't be a party pooper! I’m a super good cook, you’ll love it!”

“I’m not eating it! Just—” Kalego stops mid-yell to instead let out a frustrated growl, dragging a hand down his face. It’s probably pointless to yell at him like this. He could throw him out, and the menace would most likely just bang at his window forever begging to be let in again. Fine. “Break anything and I’ll kill you. Make a mess and I’ll kill you. Leave immediately after he’s finished eating, understand?”

Robin blinks, blissfully silent for only a moment before his face turns into one of pure joy, “Yes!!” He turns to Iruma, still grinning like a fool, “Come on, Iruma! We gotta cook something super tasty for you and Kalego-sensei!” He says, promptly dashing out the door.

“I said I’m not eating it!!” His outrage is ignored as Robin leaves as quickly as he came. Kalego sighs for the upteenth time that day, feeling as if he just aged a century today alone.

Seriously… a call to Shichiro was severely overdue.

With a heavy sigh, Kalego pulls out his phone and dials Shichiro's number. It rings once, twice, and then with a click, Shichiro's voice sounds from the other end.

[Kalego-kun? Is everything okay?]

"No, why the hell did you give that menace my address?"

[Huh? He was panicking, saying it was an emergency and that he needed your help immediately, so…]

"He made me babysit a fledgling."

[... Eh?]

"I trust that you will never do this again? The last thing I need is someone like Opera-senpai to break into my home like this Newbie did."

[... Sorry.]

Kalego rubs the bridge of his nose. It's difficult for him to remain angry at this particular demon, even when he purposely pushes his buttons sometimes. Although this time was clearly not one of those times.

"Anyways—" Kalego is cut off by his door slamming open.

"Kalego-senseiii!! Do you have any dislikes for food??" Oh for—

"I told you that I'm not going to eat—"

[Kalego-kun doesn't like sweet stuff.] Shichiro chimes in so very helpfully.

"Oi—"

"Oh! Balam-sensei? Thank you! I can definitely trust you!"

Kalego slams his palm down against his desk, "I'm not eating what you make!!" He yells again, more firmly, "Just cook for the damn brat and get lost already!!" Robin's face drops.

"Ehhh?"

[Why not? I heard that Robin-sensei cooks very well.] Kalego takes back everything he said about it being hard to remain angry at Shichiro. Especially with how his words cause Robin to lean far too much into his personal space to speak into his phone.

"Really?? Then, would you like me to save some for you?" Robin happily asks despite the hand Kalego was pushing against his face. Quite roughly, at that.

[Ah, I couldn't possibly bother you with that…] Shichiro hesitates on the other line, but Robin continues to insist.

"That's okay! I don't mind, I cook for everyone in the dorms all the time!"

[Well…]

"Well, you two can talk later without one of you being all over me!!" Kalego cuts in with a loud, irritated bark, firmly shoving the other demon away. Robin falls back with a little "oof", but hops back up annoyingly fast.

"On the topic of that—Kalego-sensei! You have nothing in stock! Do you even eat?" Robin huffs, frowning at him with a disapproving look that has Kalego’s brows furrowing.

"You're 100 years too early to lecture me, Newbie." He snaps, but it only makes the other demon huff again.

"Even super incredibly strong demons like yourself need to eat so they won't get sick!" Kalego almost scoffs at the absurdity of the fool’s words, and he would’ve if not for the fact his annoyance beat his desire to mock him.

"I won't succumb to sickness from such a minor thing, don't underestimate me." He says resolutely, cocking his head up to glare down at Robin.

[I agree with Robin-sensei, Kalego-kun.] Shichiro betrays him by teaming up with the menace.

"I do eat." Kalego defends himself against his ex-classmate. Shichiro really has no right to mess with him after giving out his address willy-nilly like that earlier. Was Opera present and telling him what to say to him again? Curses.

"But what? You have almost nothing! Cooking a healthy meal with just your current stuff will be difficult!" Robin complains, which only further raises Kalego’s less than ideal mood.

"Then leave."

"No," Robin firmly states, clenching his fists and looking far too determined for Kalego's liking, "I will cook a healthy dinner for Iruma and Kalego-sensei no matter what—regardless of my limitations! I will give it my all!!"

[Kalego-kun prefers light meats and stews over heavy food.]

"He doesn't need to know that!" What happened to Shichiro’s regret?!

"Understood! Then I'll avoid heavy foods! I’ll be right back!” Robin salutes and dashes off out the doorway, only to stop with a screech against the floor and return immediately after, “Oh right! I’ll see you later, Balam-sensei! I’ll prepare your plate separately, so save me some of those Rice Crackers you gave me last time please!” What?

[Sure.] Shichiro agrees, quite warmly at that. What? Robin exits the room fully again, finally leaving it empty and quiet. But Kalego can’t even appreciate this because he’s still trying to process what he just heard.

“You two get along?” Kalego asks in utter disbelief.

[Hm? Ah, I suppose. Robin-sensei occasionally joins me in the Prep Room for tea or snacks during breaks.] During breaks?! Like himself?! Oh devi, he does not want to run into Robin of all demons during his breaks—meeting him in his own house was absurd enough!

“I see.” Looks like he’ll have to find somewhere else to spend his breaks at.

[It’s not that often though, he’s only come by about 4 times before.] 4 times too many in Kalego’s opinion, because he could’ve potentially ran into him each time. If that menace wants to be around with Shichiro, he should pick a time that Kalego doesn’t normally choose to as well.

[You should ease up on him a little, Robin-sensei actually respects you a great ton.]

“If he respects me, he should listen to my orders when I give them to him. He seems to forget I am both his senior and a higher ranking demon.”

[Now, now, he doesn't mean any harm.]

"Intention is irrelevant, the fact of the matter is that he is incredibly annoying." Shichiro sighs on the other line, which again, he really has no right doing. But Shichiro doesn’t remain on the topic for long.

[So? What was that said earlier about a fledgling?] He asks, excitement evident in his voice. Of course he would be interested in the fledgling, this guy…

“It’s troublesome.” Kalego answers with a miffed huff, not wishing to go further into detail. Shichiro of course pushes for said details.

[Was Iruma their name?]

“Yes.” Already knowing there was no point in arguing with the other to drop it, Kalego bitterly responds to his questions.

[What do they look like?]

“Blue.”

[Like their skin?]

“No, their hair.”

[How nice… I want to see them too…] Kalego couldn’t help but roll his eyes. Fledglings were absolute nightmares, always screaming, crying, and never obeying, who the hell would ever want to willingly be with one?

“I’m certain if you ask him, the menace will let you. He’d probably even make you babysit them, like he made me do.”

[The students in my own class are terrified of me… I’m sure that I would traumatize them.] Kalego shrugs at Shichiro’s woeful sigh.

“Can’t grow up without a little hardship.”

[Kalego-kun…] Shichiro says disapprovingly, causing Kalego to grumble under his breath and turn away from the phone, as if the Gargoyle was actually present. It’s not like he said anything bad or wrong, so Shichiro can’t give him a winded lecture of any sort.

If he started to, he’d just hang up and deal with the problem later. In fact, he should do so now before he’s pestered more about the Iruma fledgling.

“Anyways, I have work to finish since the Newbie had interrupted me during it, I’ll see you later. Ask him about the fledgling if you want to know about them, not me.”

[Alright, see you later, Kalego-kun.] Kalego gives a noncommittal hum in response, hanging up the phone and returning his room to silence. Running his hand through his hair, he picks up his previously abandoned pen and returns to planning out the next semester's schoolwork. He has to take into careful consideration each and every one of his students strengths and weaknesses while creating these, to ensure that all students effectively grow from these lessons. Of course, this means it takes much concen—

“Kalego-senseiii!! I finished cooking your dinner~!” Kalego’s pen snaps for the second time today as Robin bursts into his room once again.

“... Die.” Kalego, much like his pen, snaps with his patience having been tested for far too long already. He slowly moves into a stand from his chair, entire body crackling with lightning. Robin, of course, still keeps his stupid grin on his face as shoots him finger guns while laughing.

“There you go again~! I know you actually want to eat, since you have practically nothing here! Hey hey, I bet you’re curious about what I cooked, right, Kalego-sensei? Hey, hey, hey—” Kalego immediately electrocutes the menace of a demon with a swift bolt of lightning. Robin screams out in pain that Kalego very easily ignores, huffing in great satisfaction at the end of it when the other demon lays twitching on the floor. It wasn’t enough to kill or even bedrest Robin, but it was enough to inact some of his much needed revenge.

“I already told you countless times I would not be eating whatever you cook.” Kalego summons yet another pen to finish the damn work Robin keeps interrupting him, only to pause when hurried steps draw his attention over to his door, seeing the fledgling from earlier running in.

“Ro..!” They cry, hurrying over to Robin and shaking him. Why is it overreacting so much? It’s not like he killed him, much as he wanted to. Whatever.

“Since he finished cooking, hurry up and get lost already. Take your food and that menace with you on the way out.” Kalego sighs, shooing the fledgling away with a wave, only for said fledgling to flinch and cover their head. The hell? He’s not going to attack him like some wild dog, seriously…

“Listen, I’m not going to do anything if you just leave quietly and—” Kalego is cut off by a very loud gasp as Robin shoots up.

“I saw nee-san for a second there..! Huh? Iruma? What are you doing here?”

“Ro…” The fledgling’s eyes suddenly start to water. Not this again!

“AH?!?! Kalego-sensei!! Did you bully Iruma?!” Robin yells accusingly, hurryingly pulling the Iruma boy to his chest.

“I didn’t do anything to the damn brat!” But if it starts screaming its lungs out, he might!

Robin frantically strokes the mess of blue hair in what Kalego guesses is an attempt to soothe him, “But he’s suddenly crying all of a sudden! What do I do?! I’ve never seen him cry before—I mean I’ve only had him for a couple of hours before but—ahhh!! He’s crying more?!” While luckily for Kalego, the fledgling does not start screaming like he was dreading, but big fat tears do pour out of his eyes. Last time it stopped with a minor quiver of a lip, this time it does not.

“There, there, there, there… don’t cry, don’t cry—wait—” Robin withdraws his hand as if burned, turning to Kalego with a look of sheer horror, said hand trembling, “... am I petting him too hard?” Kalego drags a hand down his face, groaning. This is completely absurd. Asinine, even.

“Don’t ask me.”

“How do you get a fledgling to stop crying??” Robin asks in a panic as his hands continue to hover above Iruma, hesitant to make further contact due to his previous fear.

Kalego crosses his arms, “Scare them until they shut up.” He says. Robin whips his head around,

“That’s terrible!!”

“It’s an effective method.” Kalego responds without a care. Robin opens his mouth to say something further, but stops when the fledgling presses itself against his body, squeezing at his shirt with a quiet sniffle.

“... Iruma?” A stomach growl is his only response. “Ah.” It was seriously crying because it was hungry? Fledglings are truly the worst.

“There’s your answer, go feed him and leave.”

“Right!! Dinner!! Let’s go, Kalego-sensei!”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“You have to! You made Iruma cry earlier!”

“It cried because it was hungry.” Kalego protests with mild offense. It was clearly obvious he didn’t do anything to the damn thing. Robin frowns and lifts up the fledgling to his face, the boy giving him a slow, owlish blink at him.

“Can you really say no to this?”

“Yes.” Kalego replies, deadpan. What the hell was he even trying to pull?

“Boo…fine. Let's go, Iruma." Robin finally, finally takes the Iruma fledgling and leaves, which better damn well be for the final time. He really just comes and goes as he pleases into a room that isn’t his within a house he’s not welcome to. Shichiro speaks of such grand respect Robin supposedly has for him, where was that respect when he told him to get the hell out of his house and leave him alone?

“Seriously…” Kalego massages his temples in hope of lessening his ever growing frustration. It’s been years since he’s gone into his Wicked Phase, but Robin was really causing him to teeter closer and closer to one every time he opened that cursed mouth of his.

“Food Delivery~!”

It hasn’t even been 5 minutes.

“What are you doing here again.” Kalego grits out, more as a demand than a question. He’s too tired to yell anymore.

“Well! I figured that since you said you weren’t going to go anywhere, I should bring the food to you instead!” Robin freely enters his room with two servings of what appears to be some kind of vegetable stew, Iruma following behind him with a serving of his own. The liquid trembles with the great focus and strength the fledgling used to hold the bowl, eyes practically boring a hole through it. It better not drop it on the floor.

“Since we’re here with the food and everything already, might as well eat, right?” Kalego takes in a deep, deep breath at Robin’s far too cheerful question. Whatever. He gives up. He’ll just eat the damn food if it gets him out of his house faster. Shichiro better be right when he said the teachers thought his cooking was good.

“I won’t touch it if it tastes bad.” Kalego bluntly states, grimacing at the excited beam Robin gives him immediately after.

“I promise it’s good! I tried my best despite your pantry and fridge being practically barren!” Will he shut up about his food stock already?

“Come on Iruma, it’s finally time to eat!” Robin pats the table to call the fledgling over. Said fledgling lights up in excitement and takes one excited step forward, only to gasp and hurriedly stop, carefully walking the rest of the way while watching his stew. Robin sits on the other side of the table beside Iruma, Kalego bitterly sitting down as well. At least Robin isn’t next to him.

“Try it, try it!” Robin ushers him, gesturing to his stew.

“Silence.” Kalego growls as he picks up his spoon, dipping it into the liquid and lifting it back up after scooping up a decent portion of both meat and stew. He hesitates for a moment before finally just eating it.

… Dammit.

“How is it, how is it? Hey, hey, hey—”

“Passable. Now shut up.”

“Kalego-sensei liked my cooking!” Robin cheers as he throws his fists into the air, coincidentally bumping into Iruma next to him and causing them to spill the contents once on his spoon. A look of devastation fills the fledgling’s face as they look down at the fallen vegetable now on their lap.

“Ah.”

“Deal with that before it starts crying again.” Kalego points at the blue haired boy with a huff, almost grateful at the distraction as he discreetly gets another spoonful. Robin frantically apologizes and scoops out several chunks of various diced vegetables from his own stew into Iruma’s, cleaning up the mess he caused them to make on itself. The remainder of Kalego’s so-called dinner consisted of him resolutely ignoring whatever Robin was babbling about to him and eating the annoyingly… decent tasting food Robin cooked. By the time it was finally over, Robin took their dishes and left to clean them himself. Even the fledgling had surprisingly helped by being the one to clean the table, quite well, at that.

“See ya, Kalego-sensei!!” Robin waves at him with a giant, stupid grin as he holds Iruma in his arms. Considering he was doing the same when he was banging on the window, Kalego assumes the fledgling was poor at flight.

Kalego does not wave back, “Leave already.” Robin only laughs.

“Alright alright, I’ll cook for you again sometime, okay?”

“I absolutely refuse.” A decent meal was not worth the cost of seeing him again. Another laugh and wave later, Robin leaves for the absolute final time, which is confirmed because he doesn’t come running back in a few moments later like he had been repeatedly. Even the quiet of his room brings Kalego little relief.

Forget his work, he needed a break before he actually slipped into his Wicked Phase.