Chapter Text
Cullen was moved to a different location, and while he drifted in and out of consciousness, he caught glimpses of places and people . The stairs from Darktown to Lowtown flashed before his eyes as they passed by the Lowtown bazaar towards the Hanged Man. As Varric had saved him, he assumed he was bound for Varric’s suite, but they passed the pub too. When he looked at the people carrying him, he saw a Dalish elven mage with facial tattoos and a long, wooden staff, and also a brother from the Chantry who muttered prayers the whole way through. He caught faint glimpses of another elf but couldn’t really make out the features more than a tuft of white hair and a large sword strapped to his back.
As he was set down on a low table, Cullen glimpsed the Alienage before they closed the door and hushed him.
“It’s nothing to worry about!” said the Dalish mage hurriedly, her accent betraying her origins even as she left his field of vision.
The Chantry brother knelt beside before Cullen. “You’re badly injured, Knight-Captain,” he said, his accent as strong as the mages’, only this time it was with the harsh tones of Starkhaven. “Merrill will heal you to the best of her ability and I will pray for you.”
“No…” Cullen mumbled weakly. “Take me back to the Gallows…”
“Those mages aren’t allowed to use the type of magic that will heal you properly,” the Dalish elf said as she returned, pulling out her staff and waving it around.
“I’ll make sure we weren’t followed”, said the other elf, the one with the sword, and left the room. The others hastily shut the door behind him.
“Are you sure we should do this?” said the Chantry brother worriedly. “If Meredith finds out… The Knight-Captain is one of her pawns. And also…” He lowered his voice so it was barely audible. “… If the Spider finds out…?”
“Come now, choir boy, you came all this way,” said Varric. “If Hawke finds out, good. I don’t think she was behind this in the first place. And if Meredith finds out we helped rescue her favourite subordinate? She’ll be grateful. He might even put in a good word for us, right, Curly?”
Cullen couldn’t speak, as Merrill worked her magic on his cuts and bruises. It stung for a moment but the pain weakened as he grew stronger again. There were several flashes of emerald light, as the room was lit up by her magic. He could really feel his skin being stitched back together, as one would repair a shirt or a pair of breaches that had been torn.
“He’s lost a lot of blood and he has a fever”, said Merrill putting away her staff. “But he will recover.” She turned her eyes to him, they were large, green, mesmerizing. “You eat your greens and plenty of liver, you hear? You need to build up the blood storage in your body.”
The other two left as Varric sat down by Cullen’s side and huffed heavily. The dwarf waited in silence, while Cullen drifted in and out of consciousness. He dreamt horrible visions, a smirking Hawke, being cut down by a black figure with glowing blue eyes as he fell down into the mouth of a Pride demon. He grasped to hold onto one of its fangs, but ultimately fell down into the dark Void of its stomach. There he was consumed by acids, pulling away at his skin and drilling holes in his brain. He screamed, both internally and externally, sitting up with a gasp. The fever dream ended and Cullen was glad for a slight moment to find Varric still there, ready with a glass of cold water.
Cullen sipped at it carefully, tasting it for poison, before finally deciding that if the dwarf wanted to kill him, he would have done so already.
Varric spoke softly with a trembling voice, as if he didn’t really want to know the answer. “How did you end up outside of Hawke’s lair with all those cuts?”
Cullen sat up and discovered they had dressed him in cheap, grey clothes. The cuts were partially healed, and now there were pink strips of flesh where the cuts had been. “They abducted me. The Spider and her fellow. Tortured me, tried to make me swear not to investigate further. It didn’t work. I will not falter.”
“Maker’s ass, she really went too far this time,” sighed Varric and rubbed the back of his neck. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I had no idea how deep he had his claws in her.”
“Who?” asked Cullen. Then he recalled having barged in on a private conversation between Hawke and that blond mage. “That Anders, that … Grey Warden?”
Varric nodded. “That’s not all he is, though. Not anymore. But I’m not the one to tell this story. If you want a straight answer, you need to see her one last time. And save her from herself, one way or another.”
Varric’s eyes darted to the floor, as if he was ashamed of what he might have been implying.
Cullen shook his head ferociously. “Never. I’m done with this shit. I don’t want anything more to do with you people. I have to get back to my duties. There are mages and Templars to be found.”
He made a move to leave, but Varric placed a gentle hand on his shoulder.
“Hold on, I can offer you something,” said Varric. “A confirmation really, on what you already figured out. It was she who opened the tunnel again. To help free escaped mages. That’s what got us started in the first place. But Anders has used her compassion for his own ends. His own vendetta.”
Cullen felt his strength return enough for him to stand up. He looked down on Varric. “Thank you. I’ll relay that to my Commander.”
“Wait!” Varric gasped as Cullen tried to leave again. “Don’t tell her. If you do, Hawke will know I snitched. She’s not sure where her allies are anymore and if she suspects I’m working against her, she’ll kill me.”
“Are you mad? I have to report this.” Cullen tried to go around Varric but the dwarf was quicker than he looked.
“Please, as a return-favour for me saving your life?” he offered desperately, his eyes pleading. There was a genuine fear there. His hand twitched slightly and Cullen saw he was unarmed. The crossbow was lying on the floor next to the table where Cullen had woken up.
But Cullen was relentless. He had a job, a calling, and not even fast friends would stand in the way of that. His eyes fell upon a mounted sword on the wall, the crest on the shield behind it bore two eagles fighting each other, talons on talons. Or perhaps they were on the same team, protecting each other. They were also carved into the hilt of the sword. He had a slight memory of having seen that seal before, but couldn’t remember where. Nonetheless, Cullen pulled the sword out of its hold and held it against Varric’s neck.
“Let me leave, dwarf, or I’ll cut my way out of here,” he threatened. “And I don’t mean the door.”
To his surprise, the dwarf dropped to his knees, hands hanging slack, surrendering. “Do it. I’m sick of trying to protect her life and legacy while she doesn’t give a shit about me. She should have known not to get mixed up with crazed mages, demons and Templars gone bonkers.”
Cullen considered for a slight moment cutting the dwarf’s throat. But what would that solve? He was, well, not innocent precisely, but not a part of whatever scheme Hawke and Anders had cooked up. Varric had tried to pin the blame solely on Anders but it would take a lot of explaining on Hawke’s part to assure Cullen she was not the one abducting Templars. Sers Frend and Cauchemar were still missing after all, and Cullen suspected even Ser Prawley and many others as well. If he wanted to find them, he would need to plea to her again. And that was not about to happen. His options flooded almost before his eyes, his duty being the strongest. He could lie. The dwarf would be none the wiser, Meredith would be satisfied and could devote resources to end this outbreak once and for all. His loyalty to the Order was older and more resolute than that of a rogue dwarf from Lowtown. Maybe they could even storm her den and take her captive. Cullen could be the one to interrogate her, he mused slightly in his head what that would feel like, him being in control and her another defenceless mage at his mercy. He almost looked forward to that moment, craved to be alone with her at her knees instead of the other way around. Just to be able to pay back what she’d done to him.
He put the sword back up on the wall, deciding silently to betray the trust of the dwarf who’d just saved his life.
“You have my word,” he said, faking solemnity. “I will not investigate the missing mages anymore, but I never want to meet you or Hawke ever again.”
He knew Varric would probably find out sooner or later, but he had to be true to himself and his duty. It felt weird to lie so outright, even while shaking Varric’s hand to solidify his honour.
Varric hissed. “You might want to call off your search on behalf of your investigation team, as well. I hear they’re causing quite the ruckus looking for the mages, one of them even attempted to infiltrate the Coterie. They didn’t get far, and some of my associates had them, ah … escorted off the premises.”
“What?” Cullen spat. “How did they find time to go that far?”
“Well, you’ve been gone for almost four days now,” Varric said, sounding almost amused.
Cullen stammered. “Four days? I-I need to get back to the Gallows.”
Varric stepped aside. “I guess I will have to trust you. I’ve been laying low while you were out cold. I advise you to do the same. The Spider has eyes everywhere. But I never thought this of her.”
Cullen hesitated, wondering if he should tell Varric that his former best friend had been temporarily replaced by a Desire demon. But the lost look in Varric’s eyes told him he already knew. The dwarf opened the door, letting Cullen dart back to the Gallows as quickly as his mangled body allowed.
When he reached the door to Meredith’s office, it swung open before he had the time to knock and she stood face to face with him, looking more bewildered than he’d ever seen her before.
“Knight-Captain!” she exclaimed and looked about ready to hug him. Her eyes watered over and she stood up straight. “We just reported you as missing. Where have you been?”
“I was abducted,” he said and showing her the partially healed cuts on his stomach. “They bled me, and left me for dead.”
Meredith eyed his injuries carefully. “It seems they tried to undo their work, the cuts are almost healed. How are you feeling?”
He saluted and stood up straight, even though it hurt. “Fit for duty, Knight-Commander. And I have quite a lot to tell you.”
The superior officer smiled softly. She backed into her room again and held the door open for him. “Come inside. If it wasn’t for the shortage of Templars this particular month, I would grant you a leave of absence, to recover properly. But I reconsidered your idea of petitioning for a fundraiser for the Order and the Viscount tells me one of the new noblewomen agreed to hold it in her mansion.”
“What does that have to do with me?” said Cullen. He sat down on the empty chair before the desk and Meredith took up her seat behind it. He had no love of nobles, but if it would get his mind and body away from Hawke, it would be preferable than lying abed useless.
“I detest these things, I feel like a glorified beggar,” Meredith said. “I’d like you to attend on behalf of the Order. You won’t be alone, of course. I will send some of our younger recruits to charm the nobles, too. But you will have to be there in my stead, and raise as many funds as you can. Look into recruiting as well, surely some of the nobles have enough children to spare. Or bastards they want occupied.”
Cullen dreaded this, but agreed. He still wanted to serve, and it would be worlds away from the Spider, up in Hightown where her influence hadn’t yet reached.
“What happened to you?” she asked, now taking on a more familiar voice. “I was worried I had lost my best Captain.”
Cullen told her almost everything he knew. He told her of the tunnel, which Hawke had sealed and reopened, about Anders the now-more-than-a-Grey-Warden, the Desire demon (but not how he’d been seduced by it), the blood mist, the use of blood-magic. All the while he felt a surge of guilt and a lump in his throat, and was careful not to mention Varric Tethras in any way, even that there had been a dwarf helping him. She listened patiently and took notes while he spoke.
When he was finished, she shook her head. “I was worried this was the case with the Spider. She has too much power for such a lowborn citizen, and a refugee at that. We’ll commit resources to finding her and dealing with her and her associates. How did you work all this out?”
Cullen looked down. He wouldn’t sell Varric out completely, and most of the information came from his own deductions. “During my torture. And word of mouth in the Undercity.”
“I see,” said Meredith pensively as she stood up. He followed suit. “Thank you for your report.” She put a hand on his shoulder. “Take the rest of the day off. We need you at your best tomorrow evening at the noblewoman’s fundraising.”
“Who is the noblewoman?” he asked. It didn’t really matter, as it was probably one of those ragged old widows with nothing but time and money to spend.
“One Lady Amell, as I recall,” Meredith replied.