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Cas knew. Cas had known for a long time that Dean was cheating. Cas wasn’t heartbroken, he should be though. He had thought him and Dean were soulmates. Cas was furious though. The feeling had been simmering and now it was time for it to boil.
Cas was thinking and that was a dangerous thing. He was thinking of revenge and how to get it. Dean had few things that he truly valued, he believed everything and everyone was just temporary, minus Sam. Cas wasn’t about to drag Sam into this. No, this was just between Cas and Dean. What could he do?
Cas was brought out of his thoughts by the jingle of keys and Sam’s heavy steps into the bunker kitchen.
“Hey Cas, where’s Dean? I just got back from the store and I need to give him a few things,” Sam said.
“He’s at some bar. He said he needed some alone time.”
“Oh that’s weird. He seems to be needing that more and more lately. What do you think he’s doing right now?”
“He’s probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp and she's probably getting frisky.”
“Cas, Dean would never cheat on you. What do you actually think he’s doing?”
“He's probably buying her some fruity little drink 'cause she can't shoot whiskey.
Right now, he's probably up behind her with a pool-stick, showing her how to shoot a combo,” Cas said through clenched teeth and staring at the ground.
“Cas, dude, you're being delusional. Dean is so in love with you, it’s crazy. What you guys have is … uncommon.”
‘It’s only working because he’s cheating’ Cas thought. “Alright, whatever you say.” Both of them were quiet for a beat. “Sam, I think I’m gonna go for a walk,” Cas said, suddenly looking up.
“Yeah, ok. Sounds great. Just lemme know if you need anything,” Sam said, giving the angel a smile. As Cas passed Sam, he gave the hunter a pat on the shoulder and then trudged on.
On his way out of the bunker, Cas grabbed his keys to Baby, Dean’s most prized possession.
__________
The bar wasn’t far. It had only taken Cas a few minutes to get there. He looked around for the unmistakable shape of Baby. When he spotted the car, he walked over. For a second, he thought about not doing it. He dismissed that thought and continued on waking over.
When he reached Baby, he ran his fingers over her exterior and closed his eyes. This car had seen so much and had so much more to see. Dean had rebuilt her after the crash and he had fixed her up more times than even an angel could count. Dean could fix her up once more.
Cas laid his supplies on the ground: a Louisville slugger and his angel blade. First Cas took his key, and using just a fraction of his force, he scraped it all along Baby, keeping it one line that cut through the shiny black paint. After he had made his way around the car once, he began again, and again, and again. He did it until there were ten clean, sharp, clean lines all around her.
He then picked up the baseball bat and felt the weight of it in his hand. It was perfectly balanced. The bat was perfect for hitting home runs and it was going to be perfect for hitting tail lights. Cas went around back and knocked out both tail lights, the crunch of the plastic under his dress shoes was oh-so-satisfying for Cas. He went around to the front and did the same to the headlights. Baby was starting to look like she might need a whole lot of work.
Cas stopped for a moment and admired his work. Baby was looking like Cas on the inside: a beautiful, dangerous mess. However, Cas thought her interior needed a bit of fixing up. So, he opened one of the doors and got right to work.
Using the blade, he carefully carved each letter of his name into the car’s soft leather seats. CASTIEL NOVAK. Cas often used “Winchester” for his last name on hints of one requires him to use his first name. But that ended now. He didn’t want to be a Winchester if all they did was lie and cheat. Tonight Cas was taking back Jimmy’s last name. After he finished with the front seat, he moved to the back and did the same.
He exited the car and stopped to admire his handy work. Baby was gonna need as much work as Cas needed therapy. But both were caused by Dean. Cas was still feeling mad as hell, so he did the only thing he thought was left: he slashed Baby’s tires, rendering her useless for the time being.
Cas wanted a drink, some reward for what he just did. So he walked right into the bar and sat down on one of the stools. He looked around, waiting for the bartender, and saw Dean. He was a couple seats away, face pressed against some blond tramp’s.
“What can I get ya?” the bartender asked.
“Double shot on the rocks, no fruit,” Cas answered, handing the man a ten. The bartender nodded and walked away. Cas leaned back slightly and closed his eyes, focusing on the music.
“ That I dug my key into the side of his pretty little souped-up four-wheel drive carved my name into his leather seats. I took a Louisville slugger to both headlights. I slashed a hole in all four tires ”
Cas smiled to himself at the irony. “I might have saved a little trouble for the next girl A-'cause the next time that he cheats Oh, you know it won't be on me,” Cas sang to himself under his breath.
He was handed his drink and took a sip. He gave the bartender an approving nod. The man left, leaving Cas to look around. He saw Dean was no longer kissing the blond tramp, but she was singing some white trash version of Shania karaoke. Cas rolled his eyes. Finishing his drink, he made his way over to Dean’s side. Cas didn’t say anything, just stood there, he didn’t even look at Dean. The girl finally finished the song and came off the stage. The same dude that had served his drink came on the stage and asked if anyone else wanted to come up and sing. Cas raised his hand and made his way to the stage.
Cas took the stage and a round of applause broke out. He smiled and waved out the crowd. His gaze swept over Dean but he didn’t miss Dean’s shocked face. Cas would be lying if he said it makes him feel a bit smug.
As soon as the song started, some people knew what song he was doing and shouted out cry’s of support which made Cas happy.
“That lipstick on your collar, well, it ain't my shade of pink and I can tell by the smell of that perfume, it's like forty dollars too cheap and there's a little wine stain on the pocket of your white cotton thread, well, you drink beer and whiskey, boy, and you know I don't drink red,” Cas sang. Whoops of approval were said throughout the bar. Dean got increasingly more red.
The more Cas sang, the more people joined in singing and shouting in approval. Cas let the love of the crowd carry him through song.
“All those midnights sneaking in ‘I'm late again, oh, I'm so sorry’ all the Ajax in the world ain't gonna clean your dirty laundry out to dry to the line,” Cas let the last part ring throughout the bar. The crowd was silent for a minute before the place erupted into applause. Cas let a smile creep up on his face and blush spread on his cheeks as he walked off the stage. As he walked through the crowd, he received pats on the back, high fives, a few sorrowful glances, and more than a few people’s numbers.
He reaches Dean and the girl in a few minutes. “Dean, who is this lovely lady?” Cas asked, his eyes moving from the woman to Dean.
“Her name is Cassandra,” Dean said, not daring to look at Cas. Cassandra let out a drunken giggle when Cas kissed her hand.
“Well, I’ll let you get back together,” Cas said, walking off. Dean had expected Cas to cause a scene, yell at him, do something to make Dean feel sorry. This non-reaction hurt worse because Dean thought he knew how Cas was on the inside.
Cas walked off and out of the bar. Once outside he zapped himself to the bunker. He walked to the room he and Dean shared and took out all of his belongings. It was just a few things: a couple of ties, some pants, a handful of shirts, and a few pairs of socks. He didn’t want to take anything special, so he left behind the “Top 13 Zeppelin Tracks” cassette tape, the bee plushie, and bag of honey that had been sitting in the bedside drawer for many months now. Cas put all the things in a suitcase and then walked out the room.
“Hey Cas, where are you going?” Sam asked looking up from his book.
“I don’t know. I haven’t figured that part out yet,” he answered.
“Well, be careful. See you soon,” Sam said, going back to his book.
“Yes,” Cas said. “See you around.” And on that note, Cas walked up and out of the bunker. As he walked down the road, Cas began to think of where to go. He thought about Donna and Jody’s. He would be with Claire then, help her hunt. Cas was knocked out of his thoughts by Dean’s voice.
“Cas, love. I’m sorry. Please just don’t leave. I need you, Sam needs you. I love you!” Dean cried, longing to feel Cas’s touch.
“No. You should be what being with you guys would be like and I didn’t like it. No amount of begging, pleading, or praying can change that. You showed me what it was like to love you. You had been doing this for months, maybe even longer and I finally got enough self-respect to do something about it. Please, don’t try to make me change my mind. You’ll only make it harder for yourself,” Cas said, looking upon Dean with storming, but tearful eyes.
Dean wanted to wipe those tears away and kiss everything better but he knew had already hurt Cas too much. Dean nodded.
“I saw Baby and what you did to her. You carved ‘Novak’ instead of ‘Winchester’. Why?” Dean asked.
“Because of you. You showed me that Winchesters’ live off cheating and lying and I won’t be a part of that,” Cas said with tears falling down his cheeks. “Dean, if you ever truly loved me, you wouldn’t have needed those other girls.” Again, Dean nodded. Cas didn’t know what to say. He hadn’t expected this, everytime he thought about this moment, finally confronting Dean, Dean would scream at him, begging Cas not to go. But now that it was really happening, Dean was just letting him go. Cas brushed past Dean and continued to move forward. When he had gotten a few yards, he heard Dean shout again.
“Cas, it’s true. I do love you.”
“I know you did.”