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my only love, sprung from my only hate

Chapter 6

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

The adrenaline is still humming in his veins when they crash through the door and into Stede’s small but charactered Te Aro flat. 

 

There’s about two seconds where Stede can tell that Ed’s glancing over his decor, before they both sort of settle back into the intimacy of what was, back off Cuba Street, and Ed pulls at his belt, dragging him back in for a kiss again. 

 

It’s nice. It’s really nice. Ed kisses with the self-assuredness of someone who knows exactly what he’s wanting, and no qualms about reaching for it. Stede’s… had less time for that. Less time to feel secure in himself and his desires. He fists a hand in the back of Ed’s jacket and tries not to think too hard about it. 

 

“Your place is like crazy nice, man, what the hell.” Ed says, when they’re back on Stede’s bed, which is ornate, and vintage, something that looks like it took a lot of effort to construct and actually took even more than that. 

 

Stede takes a little break from his ministrations - and what ministrations they are! - to glance up at the four poster. “Yeah, it is, isn't it? Bit of a quest to put together but it came out super nice. I’m really into the historical things.”

 

“For real?” Ed cocks an eyebrow at him, and drawls, “Never would have guessed from your fashion sense, mate.”

 

The acknowledgement is warming, and it bleeds through him, making him want, once more. They make out for a bit, but not frantically - it’s more comforting than anything, and wow, was this a great idea! Stede’s definitely going to get more into going to random bars after work if the night ends up like this.

 

He’s sort of trailing his lips down Ed’s happy trail when the other man stops him. “Probably should… mention. Before you- uh. If this is going to happen. What’s down there mightn’t be exactly what you expect.”

 

“What, you’ve got a third ball or something?” Stede asks. 

 

Ed laughs. “Not like that. You caught me buying pads in the New World, mate. Use that big brain and join the dots for a sec, ae?” 

 

What? 

 

Oh.

 

Huh. Well. He’d never have guessed.

 

And then he feels immediately bad about even thinking about guessing which is something he shouldn’t be doing and he’s panicking about being offensive and- “Oh my God, I’m making a real hash of this.” 

 

Ed just looks at him with a bit of a wry grin, which is sort of strange to view from somewhere near his belly button. “You haven’t kicked me out of bed yet. If you’re still floundering in three minutes I’ll start being offended.” 

 

Right. Well. Stede gets his head in the game, which he probably should have done maybe forty seconds previous. “I want to go down on you.” And then, stammering, less intensely, “I would like to go down on you. If you want. What do I need to know?” 

 

“That it’s really not that complicated.” Ed replies, “and you sound kinda like you’re in a lecture, mate.” He reaches out, brushing his thumb over Stede’s cheek. “With that in mind… I’m pretty good at giving constructive critique. Wanna keep on?” 

 

Stede just grins.

Notes:

was going to link the "here's how to write trans guy sex scenes" and "here's how to go down on a trans guy written by a trans guy" tumblr posts but couldn't find them :(

Notes:

is this about my alma mater
...definitely not
shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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