Chapter Text
“First I must marry you and now I must mother two hideous children?!” He flinches from her high pitched tone. Her yelling has always been so ear piercing. So much so, that it gave one an immediate headache. “I did not ask for this!”
“Do not insult them in my presence.” He tries to stay calm—tries to for the sake of Nanako and Mimiko who sleep in the room near his. “Those children, I consider as my own now. I am sorry you were forced to live this life. Truly, Sato, I am sorry. But I did not want to marry you nor have this life with you either.”
Deafening silence. She stares at him hard with clenched fists and a tight jaw.
“You get rid of those runts before I do.”
“You will do nothing to them.”
“I will. Trust, I will.” She pauses to tilt her head to the side as she narrows her eyes. “That or I divorce you, hm? Spread some rumors… What will the ton think? What of your reputable title?”
He lifts his chin, his expression stoic. To hell with the ton. “... Then perhaps you should start packing your belongings.”
“You will regret this, Suguru.”
The man thinks, surely not as much as agreeing to marry you .
Chapter 1
Suguru Getou was never fond of large gatherings. He would avoid them at all cost if he could—that is probably what the ton would prefer, anyhow, from the way they had negatively reacted when he had descended down the stairs for the first ball of the season.
The ton’s pejorative stares are inescapable; they burn through his thick skin from the way they stare so hard, as if they are looking within the deepest parts of him.
However, Toji Fushiguro and Satoru Gojou, who are his trusted confidants, are adamant on his continuous attendance to the ton’s useless assemblies if it meant for him to gain back some honor that he had lost two seasons ago.
Honor he lost due to Sato, his ex wife, who divorced him and practically shat on his name. The horrid woman. Just thinking about her makes Suguru cringe externally as he meanders about the ballroom.
In any other case, he would have skipped this dreadful ball of Satoru’s, which is full of demeaning stares and whispers from pestful bees.
Suguru refers to them—the ton—as bees, because well. Frankly, they are bees. Bees with a strong hive mindset, where they all conform to the ton’s opinions and decisions. Bees who aggravate you with their buzzing, their gossip, and are quick to gang up on a singular bee. Bees who do not have a mind of their own, always following what the majority follow. Bees who spend all their day, all their life talking.
This is the ton—just a bunch of annoying bees.
Perhaps I am the honored one, Suguru thinks to himself as people part for him like the Red Sea. He has to offer them thanks—no one stands in his way. His large ears twitch as he passes the orchestra and he nearly decides to take his leave from how boorish everything is to him. How could he prove himself anyhow when they would not even give him a chance to?
Suguru should leave. Yes, he should leave, and then he would not have to deal with bothersome bees.
[Photograph (From “Her”) by Stacey Bassetti]
But then he sees you.
He sees you from across the room and his step falters, the man nearly trips on his feet from the sight of you. Perhaps his heart stops for a moment, though he does not realize it. Not when he is much too occupied admiring you from afar.
Suguru sees you and he sees the most beautiful woman to ever exist. Even years from now, he thinks, none would ever be able to rival your beauty. None. Perhaps you are a goddess sent to grace everyone with your appearance?
You are dressed much like the other debutantes, but there was something different. Something that makes you stand out from the rest, from all the other bees .
That bored expression on your face as you obviously tune out the forgettable lord who speaks with you. The faraway look in your eye that counteracted with everyone else’s lively expressions.
He wonders if anyone else notices your disinterested demeanor. The lord in front of you certainly does not despite being right in front you. Suguru would notice, well he already has, but if he were in the place of that man who has the privilege of speaking with you, he would notice ; he was quite the observant individual after all. If it came to you, he would most definitely be even more heedful.
Suguru’s legs instinctively make their way towards you without him even fully realizing it. His mind wanders as he saunters, his eyes never leaving your figure.
Have you just debuted in society? Or perhaps you debuted last season? Why the look of boredom? Did you not care for tradition? Or did you? Perhaps you were just not fond of pretentious balls just as he was not? What was on your mind?
What is your name?
What is your name…
All too quickly, Suguru makes his way behind you and he gives the man you converse with a terrifying glare—one that makes him sputter and leave. He has to thank his own reputation in situations like these.
When you turn around, Suguru thinks you are even prettier. Beautiful. Breathtaking. Bewitching. Divine. Etcetera, etcetera…
Any compliment one could possibly think of, it was all in the man’s mind while he admires you from up close. How is it that you have not yet been cursed by Aphrodite herself for outshining her in beauty?
He tells you his name and you interrupt him—rudely so, but he will brush it off. He will brush it off because you sound so charming. A voice so appealing that perhaps angels listened to you speak just as a lullaby to fall into deep slumber.
You are hostile towards him, it is expected of course, anyone of genteel upbringing would be rude towards the rake of the century—his oh, so, honorary title.
He flirts with you. Well, he tries to.
“We have not met before.” Your tone is rather cold, but oddly enough, he does not seem to mind.
Suguru provokes you, he cannot help it, he will do anything to get any sort of reaction out of you. Others would ignore him, brush him off, feign politeness and leave him be, but you… But you are just so snarky. So mouthy despite your once refined and sophisticated demeanor.
He refers to you as a bee and perhaps he means it a bit. You follow the opinions of the ton. But he does not think of you as ordinary nor dull, you are actually far from it.
“And what of it? What if I am dull and ordinary? At least I am not shunned by the ton and seen as a dishonorable rake of a lord.”
No lady would dare say that aloud, especially during a ball where many others are present. But you are none like any lady he has ever met before. That is why Suguru finds himself grinning, he is immensely intrigued by you.
You also refer to him as ‘lord Getou’, something he hasn’t heard in so long except from his maids and butlers. Everyone else called him by his first name, disregarding proper manners entirely. But you… You call him ‘ Lord Getou ’, which immediately catches his ears when you first say it. Surely, you hold an ounce of respect for him?
When Satoru Gojou arrives, he informs him that you are the diamond of the season and Suguru is not surprised; the matriarch/monarch would be a fool not to title you as such. You are evidently well bred and elegant and breathtaking, that much is clear to anyone—it is clear to him. But has anyone else but him been graced with your snide, sarcastic persona?
“The diamond of the season, is she now?” Suguru glances your way and smirks lightly before he turns back to Satoru. “What a waste of a title. Perhaps the monarch was half asleep when she chose this season?”
The tease he is, Suguru insults you. Not because he believes his insults to be true, no, but rather he merely likes the aggravated reactions he elicits from you. It is like peeking into your mind, uncovering bit by bit of who you truly are. And he likes the cute glare you send him.
He wonders what other reactions he can get out of you.
When you leave with your mother, he cannot take his eyes off of you even then. You have left him but you do not leave entirely for you have left a piece yourself on his mind.
You are an enigma—an enigma that he wants to unravel.
“What is her name?” Suguru asks his closest friend as they sit in the corner of the gentlemen's club. The two had arrived after the large gathering of the evening to gamble and to drink, trying to ease themselves from having been around the tiresome ton. “The diamond of the season, her name?”
Satoru shoves a spoonful of cake into his mouth before glancing at his drawn cards. “Why don’t you find it out yourself?”
A brief moment of silence passes. “Are you quite serious?” The longer haired man grunts. “Just tell me.”
“Hm, I don’t think so. Do it on your own if you are so curious.” He says it mischievously, aggravating his companion.
Suguru glares at him. “Satoru.”
The said man raises a brow. “Suguru.”
“Just tell me her name.”
“No.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because I have forgotten it.”
A longer silence passes. “... You cannot be serious.” Suguru gapes at the man in front of him, disbelieving that he had forgotten her name. He had forgotten the name of the most beautiful woman to ever exist. How was that possible? “How could you forget the name of someone like her? For christ’s sake, you are stupid.”
“Because, Suguru, I am not as smitten with her as you are.” He rolls his eyes and leans against his chair. With two fingers, Satoru calls over a butler to grab him another glass of alcohol. “In any case, she is not just another debutante. She is the diamond of the season—surely you could easily find it elsewhere.”
Suguru Getou is well aware that you are not just another debutante.
And in retrospect, Satoru knew you very well. He knew of your name, knew of your mother’s. But if his best friend was truly serious about courting you, then Satoru wanted to see the lengths he would go through for you.
[‘Watashi’ no Theme (From “The Tatami Galaxy”) - Tifita]
He spots you in the second ball of the season, from across the room yet again. Suguru entertains faceless debutantes that Satoru introduces him to and while they gush around him, he cannot help but have all his attention on you. A woman speaks with him but he has no idea what she is saying, cannot focus on her words, not when you are standing there—so beautiful, so reserved. Do you know how pretty you are?
You have that faraway look in your eye again as you are surrounded by other chattering women who glance his way. When would you glance his way? It is so obvious to him that you tune everyone and everything out, living in your own world.
Would he ever get a glimpse of that world? Does anyone else notice your disinterest again? Surely, someone other than him must notice.
Satoru tugs onto his black sleeve and whispers in his ear, disrupting him from his thoughts, “shall we say hello to your diamond?”
Suguru does not need to be asked twice.
They both arrive to where you are and it is as if he has seen you for the first time again because his breath has been taken away just from looking at you in a close proximity. The two of you stare at one another for sometime before you narrow your eyes at him. He cannot help but find amusement in your actions.
A woman he does not recognize grabs his attention as she grabs onto his arm, and all too quickly you skitter away, too far for his reach once more.
And you are still his nameless diamond.
Suguru never thought he was the type of man to get jealous. But here he was, in the most foul mood he has ever been in, watching you dance with Kento Nanami. His face is tense and his jaw ticks from you being so close to him. He curses at himself inwardly; what right did he have to be jealous?
Though, how could he not be jealous when he wants to be in Kento’s place?
Suguru wonders if he knows of your snarky side or if that is reserved for him only . Wonders if you grace him with witty comebacks and ill manners.
When the blonde kisses your gloved hand, he nearly explodes.
“Are you alright, Suguru?” Someone, he does not know who, asks him.
“I must excuse myself.”
How lucky is Suguru to have run into you in an empty hallway after he had calmed himself in the washroom. You’re leaning against the wall with closed eyes, serene and almost content, away from the babbling ton.
“Ah, the diamond of the season.” He greets you after a moment of admiring you. “I haven’t seen you since a while ago during the last ball, darling.” He knows you hate that nickname, he can tell from the way you cringe at the sound of it. But it just suits you so well.
When you tell him that others speak of him so often around you, his ears perk up. Was that jealousy he heard?
How funny he accuses you of jealousy when he himself was jealous only moments ago. He does not think of asking you for your name for whatever reason. Perhaps because he feels as if he already knows you so well. Suguru always finds himself so engrossed in your conversations you share together. He just... He loved talking with you. The topic could be of anything, really, and he is sure he would enjoy it. As long as your attention is on him and your voice reaches his ears, he is content.
You tell him that you would not ever marry a faithful man.
Not to worry , Suguru thinks to himself, I would never do such a thing to you.
[The Mercy of the Wind - Million Eyes]
His legs have a mind of their own when he quickly goes to follow you out the Fushiguro estate. It is the third ball of the season when you suddenly had left Naoya Zenin on the dancefloor and stormed away. Suguru was never a nosey man—he knew how to mind his business in matters that did not concern him… But how could he not check up on you? How could he mind his business when you are evidently upset—when there is a possibility of you being hurt?
His legs carry him to you, almost instinctively, like he is meant to be near you always. Like he is a planet and you are the sun and he is completely, immediately drawn to you—like he is meant to gravitate around only you.
“If it isn’t the diamond of the season! It is our second time meeting, darling.” He greets you nonchalantly, playfully, for he can tell that you are upset and perhaps what you need is a good laugh, a good distraction. He is able to tell that you have been crying but he feigns ignorance for your own sake and his.
“Whatever do you mean? There are Zenin's two guard dogs. Those two are certainly the most respectable gentlemen.”
You laugh and it is the sound of a holy choir to his ears. Was it possible for a laugh to make the world brighter? For Suguru is quite certain that when you laugh, the scenery of the garden in front of him gets more vivid.
The moment the two of you share is intimate, lighthearted. Memorable. It is you understanding him and him understanding you.
“Oh… And what of the bee part?”
He looks at you with a puzzled expression on his face. “What of it?”
“Perhaps that part you did mean?”
“Alright,” he chuckles. “Perhaps that part I did mean.”
He pauses and shifts on the bench. “But not anymore.”
No. Certainly not anymore.
“What of Sato?”
“Word has it that she has married Tengen.”
“The old geezer who has seven wives?” Suguru stops in his tracks, gaping at the man next to him.
Toji grunts. “Eight now.”
Suguru exhales and lifts his brows in surprise.
“She’s still speaking ill of you and of course, the ton still listens. Even more so now that she is married to someone as powerful as Tengen. But I think your continuous appearances with Satoru in gatherings and what not is doing you some good.” Toji explains.
The two men walk in the garden maze, late in the evening during the fourth ball of the season, as clouds begin to cover the sky. They do this often—walking together as they discuss what not. Usually it was in regards to Suguru’s reputation or future gatherings of the ton.
“How are Mimiko and Nanako?” Toji asks.
“Very well. Their governess and Gakuganji will bring them along here to visit me in two week’s time… Toji, I must ask.” Suguru begins. “Do you know the name of the diamond of the season—”
“— The diamond of the season ? What, are you using her to regain your honor?”
“What? No ! No, definitely not. I just—I am interested in her. Immensely. Ardently. Wholeheartedly—”
“Yes, I think I’ve got it.” Toji interrupts with an eye roll. He stares at the longer haired man for some time.
Even if Suguru were to marry you for ‘his advantage’, his endeavors would fail as you would be the one to suffer while his reputation would remain unchanged. Society has it out for women, afterall.
“The diamond of the season with the dishonorable lord. Sounds like some cliche Shakespearean story.”
“Gods, do not mention that horrid, tacky writer.” Suguru scoffs. He truly did not fancy Shakespeare. “But do you know her name—”
“Shit, it’s starting to shower. I must take my leave, Suguru, let us continue this talk some other time.” He leaves without another word.
Rain falls slowly and then all together, as if the sky cries for Suguru because it knows he must go another day without knowing the name of his diamond. He sighs and removes his long hair from his bun, releasing the tension from having it tied up, and he begins his walk out of the maze.
“Miss diamond of the season!” He calls for you with a smile on his face when he spots you trudging along the gardens. It was odd how often he ran into you in the most random of places. However, it was rather convenient at this moment; perhaps he does not need to go another day without your name. “How odd is it that I do not have the name of the beautiful, snarky lady who I’ve run into on multiple occasions?”
Truly, it was odd. How does he still not have your name?
You deny the information to him, because of course you do, for it is just in your character to be so stubborn. Though he must admit, you are rather entertaining and he enjoys the back and forth between you both.
And then he says it. It is the first time he says it outloud, he realizes. “It is my concern. I need the name of the woman I will be courting, will I not?” He makes it known to you and the universe that he is to court you.
You turn to him with wide eyes and a drenched figure. Gods, he thinks, you look beautiful even when you are soaking wet. The shock you showcase is expected. And again you deny it, as always, though that is also expected. But what was not expected was your gaze dropping down to his abdominal muscles.
Suguru snickers and smugness rushes through him. He eggs you on, tortures you with his words, because he truly does love the reactions he gets out of you.
You bicker with him for some time (is it truly an interaction with you without you arguing with him?) until you follow him underneath the white gazebo. You tell him that he is not to court you and he wants to laugh, but he manages to repress it.
“The ton do not interest me. You do.” This is the truth.
To hell with the ton.
“I still do not have your name—“
“How unfortunate. I guess you will have to figure out what it is on your own, then.”
Suguru likes a challenge. And how difficult was it to find a woman’s name?
Chapter 2
It is outrageously difficult to find a woman’s name. Specifically, yours. It is even more so when none will talk to Suguru nor even give him the time of day. Being the rake of the century truly did have some setbacks.
He has asked nearly every lord in the gentlemen’s club the following night of his rainy encounter with you and they all have run off before he could even ask. It did not matter how scary of a face he made or how threatening his tone of voice was, they always scattered away in fright or just did not give him an answer.
“It is pointless.” Suguru huffs as he sits with his other companion at their usual table.
Toji grunts as he blows his smoke and leans back in his chair, his eyes looking over at the individuals who occupy the room.
“Guess what I have found out about your diamond?” Satoru asks when he plops himself down on the seat beside him.
Suguru glances at his closest companion. “What?”
“She is to promenade by a lake tomorrow afternoon.”
“Is she?”
“Yes, however, she is to be accompanied by Lord Ijichi.” He nods his head towards the said man who gambles at another table. “Perhaps you should go ask him the details.”
Suguru hums and nods thoughtfully. Kiyotaka Ijichi. He should pose no problem.
He pushes himself off the chair and saunters over to the bespectacled man. And when Ijichi sees him coming, he nearly chokes on air.
“Lord Ijichi, I hear you are to accompany the diamond of the season.” Is what Suguru greets him with. "Is that correct?"
He stutters and rapidly blinks up at him, much too stunned to reply. For the dishonorable rake of the century stands next to him and what will others think if Ijichi is seen conversing with him?! “I-I—”
Suguru rolls his eyes and glares down at the man intimidatingly, making sure to square his shoulders and narrow his eyes. “You, you... W hat ? It is just a simple question, Ijichi.”
"I-I am, Suguru..." He physically trembles, eyes the other lords in his table to help save him from Suguru's presence, though they pay him no mind as they are much too intimidated themselves.
The longer haired man smiles, ridding himself of his once menacing demeanor and squats himself down to Ijichi's level from where he sits. "How lucky are you, hm?"
He nods quickly as he continues not to meet his gaze. "W-what is it you w-want—"
Suguru stands bit higher while he throws a muscular arm of his around Ijichi's shoulder (the man flinches terribly so). "We are friends, right, Ijichi?"
"I-I-"
"Right?"
The bespectacled man audibly gulps. "Right!"
"And friends tell each other things, right?"
"Right!"
Suguru smiles at him. "Then tell me the name of my diamond."
[Name] [Last Name]. [Name]. [Name].
When he says it aloud, it sounds... Right. As if he is supposed to say it. [Name]. [Name]. [Name].
So pretty, your name. So fitting for your character, for your face.
Suguru says it before he sleeps—says at the most random times—he loves your name; loves how it sounds on his tongue.
[Name]. His diamond of the season.
[Clouds - Luke Faulkner]
A flower that represents you... A flower that represents you?
How?
How will he be able to decide on a singular flower when you are everywhere? When everything is you. Suguru sees a flower (whatever kind) and every single one, he is reminded of you. Tulips, poppies, carnations—all of which are so, so lovely much like you. All of which he sees you in. Suguru thinks that as long as a flower holds beauty, then surely it is you.
But one that specifically represents you? That represents your sarcasm, your snarkiness, your overall couth? He is sure he will struggle with this task.
However, It is important to note that when Suguru Getou is set on something, he is most determined to go through with it. With that being said, he is most determined to go through with finding your favorite flower.
He searches every book that mentions the floral language in the public library with his two daughters, who follow him close behind.
“She wants you to—”
“Guess her favorite flower?”
Why and when Nanako and Mimiko suddenly began to start and finish each other's sentences, Suguru does not know. But the patient man he is, Suguru pays it no mind.
“Yes, she does.” He replies and hands them books he brings down from the shelves—each one about the languages of flowers. “Would you like to help me before you return to the countryside?”
“ Obviously !”
Daisies
“Da… Da- easy ?
“ Dai-sy .” Suguru drags slowly. “Daisy.”
“Oooohh,” Nanako nods understandingly. “Maybe her favorite is daisies!”
The trio lounge around Suguru’s study in his estate in the city, reading up on flowers and all their hidden meanings. As the two children are still young, they are unable to read certain words but Suguru is always willing to help them.
He reads over the sentence that explains the meaning of a daisy and he hums. “Hm… Maybe…”
Mimiko peeks over the book he holds and stares at him with wide eyes. “What is she like? The diamond of the season?”
A soft smile finds its way onto his face. “She is… Well, she is—” A gasp interrupts him and he looks at his daughters in confusion.
“You—”
“ Love her !”
They burst into fits of giggles and tease him. Suguru rolls his eyes but laughs with them, embracing both of his daughters with each arm.
“Does that mean she will be our mother?” Mimiko asks.
“That is up to her, of course.” He replies and places a kiss on her forehead. “And also up to both of you.”
“If you like her, then surely we will too.” She tugs on his hair.
Nanako gushes and squeals before she falls on the ground softly in excitement. “Oh, how I wish I could also be a diamond just as she!”
“That would be very difficult for the monarch to decide, would it not? They’d have to decide on two of the most beautiful girls of all of the country!” He pats them endearingly,
The door of his study opens, revealing a familiar aged woman. Their governess smiles at the small family. “The carriage is ready for departure, Misses.”
Suguru makes a sound of realization and he nods before he promptly rises off the floor. The small girls whine and spew out complaints but nonetheless, they get themselves ready for their journey.
“Will you tell us more about her through your letters?!” Nanako asks.
“If you wish,” he smiles. “I will see you when I visit the countryside, alright?”
“Will Miss diamond come with you?” They ask in unison.
Suguru hums thoughtfully. “We shall see.”
“I am having a soiree tomorrow night. Your diamond is to attend.” Toji nudges Suguru’s foot underneath the table before he showcases his cards to the two other men. Satoru groans when he sees them and he throws his cards—another loss.
“Well, if she is to attend, then of course I shall as well.” Suguru smirks and reveals his cards. He wins.
It is dangerous for you to be alone in this room with him, especially when you look so beautiful on this fine night of the Fushiguros’ estate. Dangerous because Suguru is doing his very best not to take you in this room and touch you all over. He is rather angry, but not at you, no, never you.
But rather at Kento Nanami who insists on coming onto you despite Suguru being near you—must he make himself more intimidating for him to leave? Last Suguru had heard of the blonde lord, he had been busy in the countryside trying to subside the rumors of him and his butler, Yu Haibara. Rumors that Suguru finds to be true, but he’ll keep quiet of course—he knows full well what it is like to be talked about by the ton.
“Am I not authorized to be serious?”
“It is just that… It is quite unsettling when you are.” Yes, he gets that often.
“Hm… Is that so?” Quickly he adds, “You are quite a varying woman, did you know that?”
You are. One moment, you are warm to him—playful but you still have that sharp edge of you—the next you are cold, telling him to leave. To Suguru, it was rather impressive how quick you were to fit your character in the right situation. And with that noted, he already has a flower in mind.
When you leave him alone in the room, he pulls out the book of flowers he carries with him. He flips onto the page he was looking for and smiles as he reads the description of the peony.
Peonies
The ton loves you. They adore you. That much is clear while he watches them fawn over you from across the ballroom.
But would they love the part of you that only he has seen?
Roses
“What do you think of the rose?” Suguru asks the florist.
The elder lady walks to his side slowly and observes the red flower he holds with a finger and a thumb. She hums and says, “it has always been a classic. It is loved by many.”
He smiles and twists the stem with his fingers.
Loved by many… Just as you are.
“I’ll take forty, miss.”
Suguru was never one to go out in public; with his terrible title and all. However, he would always make an exception to a certain coffeehouse in the city.
He sits in the corner at his usual table, writing a letter to his daughters and just as they insisted, he tells them of you.
Nanako and Mimiko, my dearest daughters,
I hope all is well in the country and I certainly hope you are not giving your governess, nor sir Gakuganji, too much trouble. I will be there soon and I am most excited to see you both again. Make sure you are sleeping in a timely manner and not staying up so late playing—I have my ways, I will know if you are!
As you requested, I shall write about our diamond. The diamond of the season is everything a lady should be. She is refined, elegant, and lovely in every way. She is the definition of beauty and grace. However, she is also rather humorous and feisty (ask your governess to read you this word) and in many cases she is much like you both—childish and seeking freedom. Though in your cases, perhaps you are both seeking freedom from your lessons.
She is—
“Get married for me soon, will you? I just want to see you happy.” Suguru’s ears perk.
He hears an all too familiar voice that is a few tables ahead of his. His eyes find your sad ones and he moves quickly to ensure that you do not notice him—a large hand coming up to cover his face. He looks through the small gaps of his fingers and watches you converse with your mother.
You give her a smile that does not reach your eyes. “I am sure I will be married this season.”
A dutiful woman you are. Willing to do anything for your family; much like him. Suguru smiles softly before he calls over a waitress to his table. He hands her the money to pay for his own coffee but he adds, “Would it also be possible to pay for the women over there?”
Lily
“It is not what I want but I will continue to accept the courting of suitors and eventually I will marry. Because it is expected of me. Because I have no choice in this society, my lord."
You do not want marriage.
Just as he and Sato when they were arranged (forced) into nuptials—neither of them wanted marriage either. He was forced to marry a woman he did not know, he did not love, and he wanted nothing of it. But much like you, he did so for it was his duty—his duty to fulfill the arranged marriage from his deceased parents. So Suguru understands, in his own way, but of course he is well aware he will never understand completely .
Being forced into something you do not truly want is possibly the worst thing one would have to deal with. Suguru does not want that for you.
And that is why he says, “I am a man, so I admit that I may never understand what you must go through. So I must apologize if I have come off ignorant. If marriage is not what you truly want, my diamond, then I must cease my advances towards you. I do not wish to force you into anything.”
He leaves you. But not without regret.
Gladiolus
Truthfully, Suguru did not think he would ever marry again after the shit show of his arranged marriage with Sato. He believed that he would continue to bed faceless women in gentlemen’s clubs and continue to be unmarried with his two children—but… But, it’s you .
You, who he feels at home with. You, who he enjoys speaking with. You, who he has come to know and love . You, who he wants to marry.
“Would a dishonorable rake like a dance with the diamond of the season?”
What a silly question, he thinks, you did not need to ask.
He dances with you.
And Suguru thinks he holds the world in his hands.
Chapter 3
“Miss diamond is to come to our estate?!” Nanako squeals and runs around the tall man. Mimiko wraps herself around his calf, tugging at his pants, and spewing out her own words of excitement.
“When will—”
“She come?!”
He sighs with a smile, “in a week’s time.”
Nanako shrieks in excitement— loudly , so much so that Suguru must scold her. “I’m sorry! I am much too excited!”
He places a large hand on the little blonde’s head, stopping her from running, and laughs. “Yes, I can tell.” Suguru carries both of them in each arm and sets them onto the couch. He looks at them sternly and they stare back at him with wide eyes. “It is important for you to know that Miss diamond does not know of you both yet.”
“What—”
“Why not?!”
“I want to tell her when the time is right—so you must keep quiet and stay in your governess’ house until I tell her, alright?” He explains to them and tucks a strand of their hair into their own ear.
The duo whine expectedly, though they are quick to agree.
Suguru Getou does his very best to try to win over your mother’s favor.
He offers her the best of his flowers, his fruits, his food—everything. He greets her with a smile every time he sees the woman, only to be completely ignored. Though it is expected, it is still rather discouraging.
Usually, he would not go out of his way for someone who thinks ill of him. However, it is your mother.
It is on the fourth day of your visit when he catches your mother alone. Suguru believes that today must be the day when he reveals the truth to both you and her.
“Miss [Last Name],” He begins and walks to where she sits in the living room. Her brows raise but her gaze does not as she continues to read the book in her hands. He sits in front of her, with his back straight and his head high. Suguru has made sure to look his best for her in order for her to think well of him—with his hair in his usual hairdo; half up and half down, along with his best suit. "You must know how deeply I have come to care for your daughter. I would never do a thing to hurt her and if I did, even unintentionally, I would make sure I would not see the light of day again." She says nothing while she continues on reading her book.
"And I know, Miss [Last Name], as a parent... As a parent you want what is best for your children so I do not blame you for your doubts nor disregards towards me."
She glances at him. "What do you know about being a parent?"
Suguru tells her of his past and when he finishes, she stares at him. Time passes, as does silence. They stare at one another—the woman's expression blank while the man's, one of anxiousness.
But then your mother smiles.
Satoru always told Suguru how he has a way with words. Suguru is a man who is well spoken and elegant and is able to elicit and evoke many emotions out of a person. And Suguru believes it is a gift, truly. Even more so when his words are of sincerity.
"And your children, are they here?" She asks.
"Yes, actually, both are outside playing. I wish to introduce them to Miss [Name] today."
Though, he does not get to.
Misunderstandings are a dreadful thing, no?
Chapter 4
He sends you many letters.
—This is all a misunderstanding, I must assure you. A big misunderstanding that you do not have the full story of—one that I would like to clear in person. Please meet me at the lakeside tomorrow afternoon so I may explain everything to you.
I do not wish for you to know
Yours, Suguru Getou.
He waits for you by the lakeside. You never show.
—If being as far away as possible meant the chance of you speaking to me again, looking at me again, then I would travel to the other side of the universe. Regardless of the fact that it is quite impossible to do so, I would find a way. I would do anything for your attention. I would do anything for you .
Please write back.
Yours, Suguru Getou
—I am uncertain if you even read my letters that I send you, [Name], but even if you do not, I will send you hundreds more if that is the only way I can come close to you.
Yours, Suguru Getou
—How is it that you are everywhere around me despite not being here physically?
Nanako and Mimiko ask of you constantly. I cannot wait until you meet them. They adore you very much.
Yours, Suguru Getou
—Are you well?
Yours, Suguru Getou
He sends you so much more that his wrists become sore. But even then, he continues to write to you.
“You are still here drinking?” Satoru asks his friend and pats him on the shoulder. He sits on the chair next to the enervated looking man and tuts. “ Good gods , have you slept?”
“No.” He is disheveled as disheveled one can be—his hair is unkempt and tangled, clothes loose and disordered, his bags under his eyes darker and more prominent. Suguru takes another sip of his whiskey and it burns his throat, reminding him that he is still in fact alive and is living his own hell. “She hates me. She wants nothing to do with me.”
“Well, aren’t you a pitiful man.” Satoru rests his cheek on his fist and observes his best companion. “Kento Nanami informed me that he is to promenade with your diamond tomorrow afternoon.”
“Lucky man.”
He lifts a brow and gapes at him from the response. “Is that it? Are you serious?”
Suguru sighs, “What am I to do? I do not wish to force her to speak to me.”
Satoru huffs. “And I thought you were serious about her.”
“ I am .”
“Then pray tell, why are you giving up so quickly?”
Suguru closes his eyes and leans against the chair. “I am mourning.”
Satoru groans in frustration and rolls his eyes. “Gods, you have always been one for dramatics.” He eyes him and nudges his shoulder with a hand. “Listen, either you and I interrupt their promenade tomorrow or you stay here and drink your life away as you lose your diamond forever.”
Suguru does a onceover at the gentlemen’s club which is filled with cheating lords and unholy men. He thinks of you and your smile and your snide remarks and your beauty and everything else. He thinks of the hurtful expression that was on your face.
“Let us go, then.” He decides.
It was hard for Suguru to not be near you. And yet here he was, standing beside you, and all he wanted was to distance himself. Because it was so much harder for him to be right next to you and have you ignore and loathe him. Because it hurt.
You do not even want to look at him, so much so that you must turn the other direction.
“I wish you wouldn’t call me that.” He says softly enough for only you to hear. He stands closely behind you, not too close, for he wants to give you the space you desire.
“Why not? It is merely the truth; it is what everyone calls you—“
“—Yes but you are not everyone. You are [Name] and I care what you think of me.” And it hurts me whenever you do, but he does not add this.
This certainly must be Suguru’s hell. He watches you dance, laugh, and court with another. You offer him your joyous smiles and offer him your sacred, light touches. Yes, this has to be his hell, for what else could it be?
“Oh. Apologies for the interruption.”
When he stumbles out into the veranda with Kento Nanami offering you his hand in marriage, his world crumbles. For a long time he stares at your ringed finger and your clasping hands and says nothing after.
“Congratulations.”
He leaves the ball all together, a piece of him left with you.
“You could always disrupt their wedding?” Satoru Gojou suggests. “You know, the good old ‘I object’ scenario.”
The main trio sits at their usual table at the gentleman’s club, drinking to their heart’s content and gambling away all their money.
“Spare him, Satoru,” Toji drawls as he sips his drink. “What he needs is a good lay.”
Suguru sighs and tugs his hair out of his loose bun. He drops his cards onto the table and rubs a thumb on his temple. “I do not wish to bed anyone other than her.”
“Wow,” Satoru whistles. “Those words are words from a man in love.”
The longer haired man says nothing as he rubs his brow with his thumb in distress. A foot nudges his own and he glances up at his two friends.
“Try once more.” Says Toji.
He tries once more when your own mother invites him to your dinner party. Throughout it all, he did not think he would get a chance to speak with you. However, the gods must be in his favor when he catches you before you are able to leave him once more.
"But please— please let me explain myself. Spare me a bit of your time and if you still wish, I will bother you no more and you may rid me from your life completely. Though, know that you will never once leave my own life, for a piece of your soul has found its way in mine and I do not plan on letting it leave.”
For that is all he wanted; was to clear his name so you may no longer despise him so. And so you would not think of him in an ill manner. In truth, it did not matter to Suguru if everyone in the world despised him or thought poor of him. But if you thought so, as well? Then it mattered to him completely.
Fortune is not in his favor because he does not get the chance to yet again.
Suguru Getou, for the life of him, did not want to go to the last dreaded ball of the season. Especially when it was in celebration of your engagement with Kento Nanami. Gods, no. If he could help it, he wouldn’t have gone. But his two companions are rather insistent.
Though, after having to watch you alongside Kento, he had decided to take a break on the balcony. He rests his arms on the rails and stares out into the scenery.
“If it isn't the rake of the season!” Exclaims someone from behind him.
He turns and is met with Naoya Zenin who sports his usual sinister and mischievous smile. He groans inwardly and rolls his eyes—he despised this dreadful man.
"Why the solemn look, sir?" He laughs and pats his back.
Suguru's lips contort into a scowl. "Do not touch me."
Naoya laughs nervously while he throws his hands up in the air as if declaring innocence. "So it is not just those weak women who say that phrase, after all?" He settles beside him.
"What are you on about?" Suguru's eyebrows furrow in confusion.
Naoya leans near his ear. "Let us just say that Miss [Name] is not as pure as a newly wed wife should be."
It happens so fast.
Large hands grab the collar of the Zenin's shirt, pulling him up to reach his face, as he slams him against the rails. He spews out profanities and groans in pain from the digging of his back. "FUCK! What the hell, Suguru?!"
"What did you say about Miss [Name]?" Suguru seethes through his teeth, looking the smaller man dead in the eye and clenching his fists that hold onto the material of Naoya's clothes.
He laughs. The fucker laughs! And it just angers Suguru more. He throws him down, only the bring him back up again to throw a punch directly across his face. "What did you say." It is more of a command then a question and the tone of the voice he uses is terrifyingly calm.
"If I had known you fancied her then perhaps I would not have said anything." Naoya sputters and laughs one more, blood spilling from his mouth.
"Tell me!" The man bellows. "What did you do?"
"If you must know, I merely touched her—"
Naoya is unable to finish his sentence for Suguru throws another punch his way. "Merely touched her?" Another punch. "Merely?!"
The Zenin coughs and Suguru pulls him closer with a tightened fist. His jaw clenches and his neck strains from vexation. "I will have your head."
Naoya laughs once more. "You love her," He speculates.
And Suguru drags him by his collar to the ton.
[Nostalgia - Joe Hisaishi]
“Will Miss diamond come?”
“I am not sure she will, Nanako.” He offers her his best smile, though it is not one of joy. Her small hand pats his in sympathy and in return, he kisses her forehead and tells her goodnight as he tucks her into bed.
He glances at his other daughter, Mimiko, who is already fast asleep before he shuts the door of their room.
“Lord Getou.” Gakuganji addresses him from behind. “There is someone here for you.”
He offers him a look of confusion. “This late in the evening? Tell them to come by tomorrow—”
“You may want to see who it is first before you finish that sentence.”
Chapter 5
Suguru never really cared for nor believed the expression ‘making love’, he always thought it was laughable. It was just sex. It was primal and debauched and nasty.
Though with you… With you, Suguru makes love to you. He holds you close, touches you gently like the fragile jewel you are—his diamond—, and he peppers kisses all over you. Kisses that hold so much meaning and worth. He makes love to you with his gentle yet hard thrusts into your womanhood and with his gingerly grip on your hips. All sense of value and tradition have left, as pure pleasure and love have clouded the man’s mind.
Your moans and soft gasps consume his being entirely—what a lovely sound that he wishes to hear for the rest of his life.
Your touches drive him delirious. You are everywhere . He must restrain himself greatly so not to take you roughly like he wants to—he finds this to be a difficult challenge.
When he releases inside of you, when he fills you up, he thinks that the expression ‘making love’ is not some laughable lie.
His world walks to him. His flower, his love, his everything. You.
You walk to him in white, perhaps his favorite color on you.
It is as if he is seeing you for the very first time again for his nerves are heightened and his heart races. Is it possible for one to get more beautiful each and everyday? Surely it must, as that is the case for you.
He grabs ahold of your hand when you reach him, and all is well.