Chapter Text
-Karl POV-
Karl really likes hanging out with Tina. It’s always chill. They Uber Eats some boba and study while listening to each other’s playlists, a much different atmosphere than what he usually does with other friends. His old friends at his old school and him would usually go out for hours doing…god knows what. And no matter how extroverted Karl is, it can be exhausting. Sure, sometimes he and Tina go shopping or get iced coffee and go from thrift store to thrift store. But most of the time on tired afternoons after school like these, he prefers to just stay in and spend some quality time humming along to Tina’s ‘boy band’ playlist and sipping on strawberry milk tea.
Tina is done with homework, so she’s doodling in one of her many sketchbooks while Karl works on astronomy work. He usually gets it done in class with Sapnap before the period ends, but he’s been…preoccupied lately whenever Sapnap is around. He can’t seem to focus when he’s near, and Karl has just recently noticed how pretty his lips are. They are peach pink, and usually slightly parted, and they always stretch into the most cunning smile. He’s been staring at them, and he’s sure Sapnap has seen. It’s embarrassing, he doesn’t know why but things have been different since Sapnap has come over to his house. Since they spilled their guts about the truth of their exes. Since Karl fell asleep in his arms. Since he woke up to an empty bed, Sapnap’s previous warmth disappeared from his sheets. Before Karl fell back asleep, he frowned at his absence. He felt hollow. It was a weird feeling.
Karl has been tapping his pencil against his notebook, not doing much of any work. Tina, of course, notices this. She notices a lot. Tina is a lot of things. Talented, artistic, smart, sweet, and hella observant. A blessing and a curse of a trait to have in a friend. Nothing gets by her. This can be helpful to Karl, like when he’s trying to look for something specific and Tina finds it in an instance. But it can be a curse, like when he’s trying to mask an emotion. When he’s trying to keep a secret, when he starts to lie. She can see through him like glass.
“Karl,” she starts. Karl lifts his head from his empty page. “Something on your mind?”
He wishes he could tell her everything. About lying about him and Sapnap’s relationship, about how it is barely about Dream anymore, as Dream might have moved on. On how it might’ve started as a distraction from Dream but has ended with Karl moving on and maybe attracting feelings for Sapnap. But he can’t.
He feigns a smile. “No, just stuck on homework,”
Tina gasps. “The Karl Jacobs is having trouble with school?”
He rolls his eyes at her playfully. She really knows how to lift someone’s spirits. “Please, you give me way too much credit,”
Tina laughs, closing her book to focus all her attention on Karl. She does this when she wants to talk to people about something specific, he’s picked up on. She sees through Karl’s lies. “How’s the hunk?”
“Sapnap?” Karl watches as Tina shimmies her shoulders as a response. “He’s well,”
“And you?”
He sets his homework aside for a later time. “Tina, don't worry about me please. I’m fine,”
“Don’t believe it,” is all she says. She glares at him, and Karl has a feeling if he doesn’t say anything else she won’t quit this interrogation session. He sighs heavily, noticing her tenseness release and a grin prick at her lips. Karl tries to relax, reminding himself that he trusts Tina, and she would keep a secret if she knew what it meant to him.
“Well…can you keep a secret?” Karl asks, a bit nervous.
Tina tilts her head in confusion, but she nods. “Yeah of course. What’s up?”
“It’s sort of all confusing, and I don’t really fully understand it but-” Karl stops to assess himself. Tina is waiting patiently for an explanation. He continues shortly, “Sapnap and I, we aren’t really together. It’s a ploy, in order to make our exes jealous. Dream and George. And at first it was working, we would hold hands and kiss and pass little notes in class and they would get all riled up. But something changed recently and…I don’t think I want to pretend anymore with Sapnap,”
Tina’s face flashes with many different emotions all at once, processing all that information being thrown at her all at once. Karl gives her a moment, and she blinks a couple times before she’s operating again. “What are you saying? About you and Sap? You want to try things…for real?”
“I’m saying that I want to kiss him when nobody is watching and it’s just us and I want to go on dates with him and I want nobody else to date him and basically I really like him in a serious way,” Karl rambles on, finally confessing it all. It’s a relief, but god, his cheeks are burning. “But I think it’s too late,”
Despite this being all so new and shocking for Tina, she remains supportive. “It’s not too late Karl. He feels the same way, he’s got to. I’ve seen the way he looks at you,”
Karl smiles. He remembers when he and Tina first formally met. Karl was at his locker with her, talking about weekend plans, when Sapnap snuck up behind him and wrapped his arms around his torso giving it a tight squeeze. Karl giggled at the contact, and there was a solid five seconds where they just stared at each other, saying nothing. Tina probably saw it then.
He could deny it, that Sapnap just looks at him the way friends do. But even he can see sometimes how the mood shifts when he looks too long into his eyes. Like he’s searching for his soul, like he can’t leave the comforting contact they share when they see each other. It’s something different, something not-so-platonic. Karl used to think he was acting, and it was a part of the whole pretending to be in love thing, but even when they are alone, it’s the same. A lingering glance, that made Karl feel like his breath was being sucked straight out his lungs.
“Are you mad?” Karl tests. “That I lied to you?”
Tina scoffs. “You really think I didn’t notice something fishy going on this whole time? It’s okay. It was personal stuff, I get it,” Tina says. “But I think it’s silly that you guys did that. You obviously liked each other from the start, y’all never needed to pretend,”
“I didn’t know that he liked me, I still don’t even know for sure,” Karl reminds her. She dips her head and raises a brow in retaliation. He hates it when she’s right, but she’s right ninety percent of the time, so he should start getting used to it. “Okay fine! So what if he likes me back? What should I tell him?”
Tina sits down right next to him, full advice mode on. “Tell him how you feel. Tell him you want it for real this time,”
Karl would love to do that. He would love to maybe finally get the chance to give it a try with Sapnap, to go on dates and kiss him in private and love him with everything he can. But he’s scared. Karl has convinced himself when they first came up with the idea to fake it that it was the only option because Sapnap could never like Karl like that. All the pressure he puts on himself to be enough, more than enough for not only his family but everyone he meets, it’s degrading. He becomes insecure, faking confidence and smiles when really inside he’s crumbling. But Sapnap makes him feel loved. He doesn’t have to say it, but the way he held him in his arms like he’s incapable of letting go. The way he looks at him like he’s the only boy in the world. The way he keeps finding excuses to talk to him, even when no one is around. It tells him everything he needs to know. Sapnap truly cares about him, and even Karl’s deepest insecurities can’t refute it. So he has to at least try to tell him, it’s the least he can do.
“Okay,” Karl agrees. “I will,”
-
-Sapnap POV-
Sapnap feels his mind thinning away from thoughts as he hits the ball back and forth, back and forth.
Thump
Thump
Thump
Bounce
A scoff. “Well played Sapnap,”
Playing volleyball against Dream is a nightmare. Dream only targets him, probably because he knows he’s the only one on his team who cares enough to try. Quackity is fucking around, and Emma and Tina are having a side conversation about Tina’s friend who’s apparently so in love with this boy. Sapnap isn’t listening much. His brain is busy with other thoughts. Karl. How to tell him how far he’s fallen for him. How to break it to him without making himself sound insane. He usually doesn’t fall this quick, or this hard. With George, it was gradual. Sure, he might have thought it was love at first sight with him, but he quickly realized that it wasn’t. He was interested, curious. He approached him, and the rest was history. With Karl, it was just instant butterflies. Instant heat of his cheeks. And the boy was merely writing in his English class, paying no attention to the gym class going on outside. He was stuck in place, he was mesmerized. That’s the difference.
The ball is thrown over the net, Sapnap catches it with ease. He sets it up, tosses it in the air, and serves it. As he watches it fly over his classmate’s heads, he wonders. He wonders what the hell he can do to get Karl to understand how he feels. He’s not all that good with words.
Quackity, who was previously checking his nail beds like he has no care in the world, bumps his shoulder into Sapnap’s. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
Sapnap winces at the weirdly friendly question. “Since when did you care?”
Then, the ball returns to their side, and Quackity bumps it back. Apparently now is the time he’s starting to participate. “Since you made me worried enough for me to actually try. You’re starting to get distracted, we need to beat Dream’s team,”
Classic Quackity. “I’m not distracted, and Dream’s team isn’t caring enough. Just like how our team isn’t”
Emma overhears Sapnap and flips him the bird. He just smiles and waves. The ball flies over the net, Quackity hits it again. He rolls his eyes at Quackity. “Look, I’m perfectly fine on my own. Why do you care so much?”
“Anything to get back at Dream,”
“Did he kill your family or something?” Sapnap jokes, this time, he jumps up and spikes the ball. Dream groans in defeat. Quackity throws a satisfied grin to Sapnap. “Thanks. But no, you need to stop watching anime or reading manga or playing waifu dating simulators and shit,”
“Ew, I don’t do that,” Sapnap denies. The last part obviously, the manga and anime part though is right on the money.
Quackity moves on. “I have beef with Dream. He’s annoying and arrogant,”
“You have beef with everyone,” Sapnap reminds. “Or shall I call Wilbur over here?”
”Don’t,” he warns. Quackity doesn’t intimidate him, but he knows if he does piss him off he will never hear the end of it. So he doesn’t, he just chuckles at his dramatics. “Look, I just want us to have leverage over him, okay?”
“Sounds like you’re insecure. Look sure Dream is good at sports and stuff. But hey you’re good at being an annoying little shit,”
Quackity shoves him. Sapnap knows if he doesn’t take him seriously, he won’t ever shut up. And won’t ever get over this whole ‘i need to defeat Dream’ thing going on. He sighs. “You’re funny, and passionate. And smart, don’t think I haven’t heard how proudly you talk about your GPA,” he mentions, looking over to Quackity to meet his eyes. “And you should talk proudly, because a 4.2? Damn,”
He laughs softly. “Thanks for all that, but don’t therapize me okay? I’m not the one harcore pining over new kid Karl Jacobs,”
Sapnap freezes, his sneakers stuck to the glossy gym floor. “What?”
“You think I can’t tell that you guys have been faking it this whole time? I mean come on you guys only act all couple-y when people are looking,” Quackity states with much confidence. “But I’ve seen the way you look at him in debate when you think no one is looking. And that shit is real,”
Sapnap is quick to shush him. “Keep your voice down,” he whispers.
And then, a miracle happens, Emma hits the ball. “Happy dick?”
“Thank you Emma,” Sapnap says, ignoring her insult. She just shakes her head and returns to her conversation with Tina. And Sapnap returns to his conversation with Quackity. “Look, no one else knows this okay? Just, don’t tell anyone,”
He raises a brow. “Why would I do that? What the hell would I gain from that? Look, I just want to help you with this,”
Sapnap blinks. “Why do you want to help me?”
“Because, jackass,” Quackity starts, impatient. “I like you. You’re a good guy, even if it pains me to say it,”
“Wow thanks,” Sapnap says, mildly sarcastic. But he does appreciate it, even if it’s surrounded with micro-insults. “What’s your amazing advice then?”
Quackity lips bloom a growing smile. “It’s obvious, but I don’t know, have you tried…communicating your feelings to him?”
Sapnap opens his mouth to combat his snarky remark, but then remembers that he has no right to. He has not tried that. He remains silent, which Quackity takes as a ‘no’ and continues. “I know it can be hard to be so vulnerable, but Karl seems the type to like when people are upfront with their feelings. Even if you think he won’t reciprocate, he’ll respect it. And let you down easy, because he’s kind. But I doubt he doesn’t feel the same. I see the way he looks at you too, it’s no different,”
Sapnap is surprised to get actual, good advice out of the boy. And with no verbal attack attached. He’s not wrong too, Karl is the type when people are honest. And if he doesn’t really like him, he will most likely still want to stay friends and won’t embarrass him about it. But Quackity being an outside observer of the two is reassuring. If his suspicions are correct, maybe Sapnap has more luck with this whole thing than he initially thought.
“Okay. I will tell him, I just don’t know how to go about it,” he admits.
Quackity bites his lip in concentration. “I know this sounds corny, but maybe compose a plan? Do something and go somewhere personal to just you two, to show that you like him for real and it’s not just a public charade,”
That’s it. Sapnap needs to show Karl he really cares, that he’s really in it for the long run. Go where they first met eyes, the backfield of the school, at night where no one will be around. Plan it on a clear night, where they can maybe see a trace of a star in the sky. A night not too chilly but not too humid. Then, he’ll give him a note, one that tells him the truth. That he loves Karl. Truly loves him, beyond passing glances and exes glares. He loved him when he came over to watch one of his favorite childhood films. He loved him when he won over his mom and his sister’s approval. He loved him when he sheepishly invited him over to his house, when he let him meet his cat, when he made him player one when they played Neintendo for hours. He loved him when he held him in his arms, and when he was sound asleep, with only soft noises of comfort to keep him company. And he loves him now. He’ll watch Karl’s eyes light up and glimmer in the moonlight when he reads the note, finally realizing what was there this whole time.
Actions speak louder than words anyways.
-
Sapnap is quick to hurry home to finally have time to think a plan through. He’s speed walking through the halls, up and down the stairs of his school, eager to escape. He must have blocked out what’s in front of him, because he accidentally bumps into someone.
“Oh shit, i’m sorry-” He’s quick to apologize but when he turns to see who it is, his voice halts.
George.
“It’s alright,” George soothes. He sounds calm, collected, not at all bothered. Much different than his usual attitude. If he had done that two months ago, he’d have a much bigger problem to deal with. What happened?
Sapnap sees this as an opportunity to put the past behind him. Their past. If he’s going to move on with Karl, he needs to clear the air and make amends with George. If he must see his side, George really did nothing wrong. He just lost feelings for Sapnap. Sure it hurt to hear, but at least George told the truth. At least he didn’t keep going on pretending he still loved him. At least he ended things before he was in way too deep to leave. Or to leave without making matters worse. When Sapnap realizes this, he’s suddenly less mad. He sees George for who he is, a person with feelings. Someone who wanted to end things because it was right to. Because it had to.
If he hadn’t, he would never have met Karl. And he has him to thank for that.
He needs to grow up and be mature. If it means being the bigger person, if it means admitting he might have been wrong at certain times and correcting those errors, then so be it.
“George I-” Sapnap struggles with what to say. But those starting words keep George from walking away. He stays, waiting. Sapnap takes a breath. “I should, we should, really talk,”
A hint of a smirk tugs at his lips. “Finally. I’ve been trying to do that for some time now. But everytime I try-”
“-I’ve been kissing Karl, I know,” Sapnap confesses to, a blush creeping on his cheeks. “Look I’m sorry I’ve been avoiding you. It’s just hard,”
“I know it is Sapnap,” George assures. He steps closer to Sapnap, so their conversation remains more private. “And I’m sorry I ended things like that. I’m sorry that I hurt you and that I acted like a real jerk ever since but I’m ready for this to be buried. Okay? I want to move on,”
“Me too,” Sapnap agrees. He is grateful that George apologized, now it’s his turn. “And I'm sorry too. I haven’t been exactly civil either. But I really like Karl, I found someone else. I’m ready to accept that you can too,”
George smiles, full-on. Teeth showing and everything. It warms Sapnap’s heart to see. They both have grown. “Actually, I have,”
Sapnap’s eyes widen. “You met someone?”
“Please don’t make it a big thing but,” he pauses. Sapnap eagerly waits for him to continue, when Dream walks up and kisses George on the cheek.
Sapnap’s mouth falls. “You too…you guys. Really? Like actually?”
“Yes,” George confirms, and he’s happy. Bright eyed and rosy cheeked. Truly happy. The same way Sapnap is with Karl.
And it should make him mad, but who is he to judge? He fell for Dream’s ex, it’s only fair for Dream to fall for his. Who cares if it’s all messy and weird and awkward, it’s love. That’s what love is sometimes. “I’m so happy for you guys,”
“Thanks Sap,” George says. “I’m happy for you and Karl too. You guys are actually great for each other,”
Sapnap crosses his arms in disbelief. “You really think so?”
“Yeah, I mean I hardly know the guy but sometimes we talk during lit and he seems to really like you. And I see how you guys act around each other, the way you look at him,”
That’s the second time he’s heard that today. Am I really that obvious?
Dream grins. “Look dude, we all moved on. It’s okay,”
“I guess it really is,” Sapnap says. Saying it out loud helps. It helps him finally fully comprehend it, it helps to let George and Dream know he’s alright, it helps it ring true.
George’s smile doesn’t disappear, it only shines brighter. “I’ll see you around Sapnap,”
They walk off, hand in hand, and Sapnap knows. He knows it’s okay. He knows it’s time to win Karl over, for real this time.
-
Tonight is perfect.
The weather seems clear, a perfect sixty five degrees at the time they are meeting, and he feels brave. He’s feeling ready.
He texted Karl to meet him at the backfield for something, he never specified, but Karl never pushed too hard. A part of Sapnap believes Karl might know. A part of him just thinks he wants to find out for himself. The only thing Karl really questioned is if going there after school hours is legal. As far as Sapnap knows, it is, and the gates aren’t locked or anything. If they are cameras and the school actually looks at the footage, all they will see are two boys talking anyways. No drugs being traded. Though come to think of it, any drug dealer that decided to deal behind a school is a dumb one.
Drug dealing aside, Karl was on board. They would be meeting at nine thirty, and right now, it’s eight. He’s got the note already written, he’s dressed for the weather, he’s brushed his teeth. He’s just anxiously waiting. He could move the time to earlier, but he already had a set time in his mind. He knew if he changed anything, it would throw him off.
When the clock strikes nine fifteen, he grabs all his stuff and heads to his car. He tells his dad he’s going to a party, of course he doesn’t care all that much. He just tells him to be safe, and Sapnap nods. He hasn’t told his dad about Karl yet. He will, but there hasn’t been a right time yet. But that’s not what he’s focusing on right now. He starts the ignition and prepares himself to face Karl.
When he pulls into a parking spot some place not too far from the school, he puts it in park and takes a long, deep breath. It’s okay Sapnap. It needs to be done. he reminds himself. And once he rips the bandaid off, it’ll feel way better anyways. He grabs the note, folds it neatly and tucks it into his back pocket.
When he arrives at the black steel gate, he saw Karl waiting for him by the same very window he saw him through the first day of school, as if he knew. He’s wrapped in a dark green hoodie that hugs his body. He’s beautiful, as always, luminous in the dark. He’s not on his phone, his back is just leaned against the school, and he stares at the blades of grass beneath his feet. The gate’s lock was easy to unlock, and though he doubted any struggle getting through, no alarm or anything went off. Only the quiet noises of the evening crept over the atmosphere. The looming future confession hangs over his head like a storm cloud. It grows larger and darker as he approaches Karl. But when Karl’s eyes melt into his, he feels at ease. They swallow him whole, taking in all of Sapnap, but they are kind.
“Is this the part where you kill me?” Karl questions, playfulness in his tone.
It makes Sapnap feel less nervous, the lightheartedness he exudes. He laughs quietly. “No not tonight,”
“Hm, okay,” Karl hums. “Then why do you bring me here?”
Now is the time to speak. Sapnap tells himself. But it’s hard to get the words out. His chest feels all floaty, like his heart will fly away. Karl looks at him with such expectancy, it fills him with this sense that he owes him every word in the world. He would give all of them to him if he could. He would give Karl a lot of things. The sun, the moon, the stars. Every flower so he can place it in his hair to match his godlike features. Every speck of sand to match the oceanness of his eyes. Every ray of sun to compliment his smiles, bright and everlasting. But he can’t. “I have a note for you,”
He hands Karl the note from his pocket, he takes it and places it in his own. A heavy sigh is ripped from Karl’s chest, it feels like an anvil dropping. “Sapnap. I think we should call this whole thing off. I can’t do it anymore,”
That was supposed to be Sapnap’s words. Maybe followed by a because I want you and you alone and you truly. His heart drops. Is his intentions different? “What do you mean?”
“I mean no more notes Sapnap. No more of it I can’t take it,”
Sapnap’s throat feels hollow. The sting of rejection pricks at him the way pine needles do when rustling through bushes. Slight, but just as painful. He can feel his eyes start to build up, preparing for tears to fall. “So,”
Karl remains quiet. He’s frowning, he hates this. His eyes droopy, eyebrows turned down. He’s waiting for Sapnap to say more.
“So this whole time,” his voice cracks, he dismisses the embarrassment it would have caused if he wasn’t too upset to care. “It’s been about winning Dream back?”
Karl swiftly grabs Sapnap’s hand, before Sapnap could object. “No, it never was. That’s not what I mean. I mean I want you. I want this to be real,”
Hope rises in Sapnap again. Karl wants him back, sincerity glows between them, the truth unveiled.
This time, Karl does not wait for Sapnap. “I don’t like pretending, now that I don’t have to. I really like you, and it hurts to call what we have fake when I know it isn’t. I can’t stand it anymore,”
Sapnap is stunned, he doesn’t have much to offer Karl at the moment. He shouldn’t feel the need to say he reciprocates, it should be obvious to Karl. Everything he does, he does for Karl. Without even realizing. He tries his best to understand the material in astronomy so he can help Karl finish the worksheets before the end of class. He knows Karl likes to get his work done at school so he has more free time. Sapnap waits at Karl’s locker to help him carry his books on the way to debate. He buys an extra cookie at lunch to give to Karl, who always returns the favor with a blush and soft ‘thank you’ that makes his heart swell so much it’s more than worth the extra dollar. And he does all that not to see if others are convinced, he does it for Karl. He must know this.
Karl’s stare is blank. Listless. “Sap?”
“Check the note Jacobs,” is all he says.
A confused look appears on Karl’s mooned face. He fishes for the note in his pocket, when he finds it, his fingers dance along the corners like he’s afraid of what lies inside. He unwraps it, and his lips form a pretty smile.
Now that we’re alone.
I must tell you how your secret love
Feels the dearest to me than that of affection of a million beating hearts.
You, just you
Make me feel the most alive.
And that is more than enough.
“Karl I never wanted to pretend, because I never did,” Sapnap explains, his voice sweeter than usual. “I love you,”
The world stops spinning for a moment, like it revolves around them, just for a second. When Karl looks up, it feels like he’s struck with so much adoration it aches. His lips are parted, and they look angelic in this lighting. It’s similar to the night they slept with their limbs intertwined, but it’s different, things are different. Words are spoken that can never be taken back, and why would they? They are true.
“I-” Karl bobs his head, he grins so wide his dimples make a soft return. “I love you,”
Sapnap simply cannot take it anymore. If he would go a minute without kissing him, he’d think he’d die. If that’s dramatic, so be it. They are young, but they are real. It is real. He steps closer to Karl, so close he can feel the heat of every bated breath on his neck, the hairs on the back of it jump awake in anticipation. “Karl, can I kiss you?”
Karl’s eyes lift up to meet his. “Yes. Please,”
Sapnap throws everything away to cradle Karl in his arms like he’s breakable, like he’s too valuable. And he kisses him. And like every one they shared previously, it’s bursting with emotion and love and sweetness. There’s another layer to it, it’s just for them. Nobody is watching, and they don’t want anybody watching. It’s theirs and theirs only, the moon their only witness. Under the hanging crescent in the sky, they kiss. It feels so right, their mouths slot together, tenderly each other’s. Karl’s hands wrap around Sapnap’s burning cheeks to deepen the kiss, Sapnap’s heart skips a beat. Sapnap’s arms find his waist to hold on to, to stabilize them. They find every part of each other they couldn’t find before, and they waste no expense for others.
They only pull away when they want to, because they want to. They want to look at each other, to see their reactions. Karl’s face is as soft as his expression. Sapnap is sure he mirrors it.
“You know,” Sapnap whispers. “This is where we met,”
A muddled face looks back at him. “It is?”
Sapnap almost laughs. “First day of senior year. First period. I’m in gym, playing frisbee. You are in AP Lit, writing. I notice you, and I instantly fold. You’re beautiful. Then, we finally meet eyes, and I wave to you. Green frisbee in hand. Then get tackled to the ground by Dream,”
Karl’s face suddenly flashes with recognition. “Wait, you’re frisbee boy?”
Sapnap scrunches his nose in disgust and slight offense. “Frisbee boy?”
“I couldn’t quite make out your face. But I do remember seeing you. I can’t believe you didn’t tell me!” Karl almost shouts, hitting him lightly.
“There was no right time to bring it up!” he defends. Though Karl shakes his head in disapproval, he knows he can’t stay mad for long. They just confessed their freaking love to each other, nothing can dampen their moods. Karl is still glowing like the moon is controlling his appearance, Sapnap is still weightless when he finds Karl’s smile back on his face as routine.
“So what does this mean? Are we um,” Karl is dancing around the right words to say. “Are we dating? Like, for real?”
“Uh I mean yeah I mean if you want to, like I want to but if you want to wait it’s okay,” Sapnap stutters out, a mumbling mess, his southern accent peeking through a tad.
“Is that an accent I hear?” Karl teases.
Sapnap curses himself for blushing still at almost everything Karl says. They are so close, and everytime his arm brushes against his it’s electric. “Like I said, it only comes out when I’m nervous,”
“Why so nervous?” Karl asks. Softly, not teasingly this time. More actually genuine. “Just go ahead, and ask me. Don’t think too much about it,”
Sapnap shouldn’t be nervous. Karl makes him feel safe, at home. But he’s still Karl. He makes him nervous in the best ways. Fluttering butterflies in his stomach at every glance, hyper awareness at every touch, heating of the cheeks at every word spoken in his direction. He’s still his big fat crush, that he has a feeling never will fade. He reminds himself that Karl is just a person, he doesn’t want to put him on a pedestal and make him feel any more pressure that he has vented about having. He’s just a person that stole his heart, and refuses to return it. It’s wholly his now. But Sapnap doesn’t mind, because he has Karl’s too.
Karl likes him back, so he has no problem asking: “Karl, will you be mine?”
“Your boyfriend? Oh yeah! I’ve wanted that for a while!” Karl exclaims, all-dramatic like. Sapnap could just kiss that smug look right off his face.
“Oh really now? So why haven’t you asked me then?” Sapnap grills, a smirk in his teeth.
Karl lets out an exasperated, exaggerated sigh. “Sapnap, will you be mine, as well?”
Sapnap places a finger on his chin, tapping it. “Hm, let me think on it,”
Karl rolls his eyes childishly and ruffles up his hair. “Shut up nimrod and kiss me,”
Now that’s an opportunity Sapnap can’t pass up. He cups his face gently and kisses him like he can never do it again.
But they can, and they will, a million times over. They have all of their future to spend together. Sure, senior year might seem like an inevitable end to any highschool relationship. But he hopes they can be the exception. With interlaced hands, sweet mornings spent in front of plates of pancakes, and late nights watching the stars up in Vermont at Karl’s winter cabin, they will spend the rest of the year waiting to see if they will be the exception. Who cares if they have to endure long distance, or if there might be some rough bumps on the road ahead, they have each other.
Acing debates together, going on double dates with their exes together, making new friends and new memories together. Sapnap promposing with the thing that started it all, a note. Karl crying so hard when they slow dance to some Shawn Mendez song when Sapnap talks about them going off to college. Sapnap holding his face, hushing his sobs and reassuring him they’ll be alright. Because they will be.
Because they have each other, and that’s more than enough.