Chapter Text
Lance tries not to think too hard about the lives he’s ending as he shoots his gun. It’s easy to do when the Galra are trying to kill him back, but every now and then he won’t look away in time, and then he’ll feel sick.
Lance thinks it must be worse for Keith. Keith, who’s making a path for them and taking down dozens of Galra with his sword. Keith is much more up close and personal with the weapon he wields, it’s times like this that Lance is grateful for his gun.
The enemies are starting to thin significantly, it helps when the other three Paladins are using their lions to attack.
It had been a surprise attack, the Galra had figured out where the castle had landed and attacked them from the ground.
They quickly had to reevaluate their plan once they discovered the tank-like ships took far too much firepower to destroy, hence why Lance and Keith were on foot, infiltrating said ships.
The army of Galra soldiers made it difficult, but it’s nothing they can’t handle.
Lance focuses on shooting, watching their six as Keith makes a path to the next ship.
Lance fights the urge to look back to check on Keith. He can’t help the sinking feeling that settles in his stomach. He’s looked back several times already, which had Keith yelling at him to focus every time a Galra had come too close for comfort. Still, he can’t resist the urge to check…
Lance glances at Keith. Unsurprisingly, he seems to be doing alright. Aside from being a little winded, he slices through the enemies with ease. Lance goes to turn away, satisfied with his one-second assessment, when he spots it…
The red light was about two hundred feet away atop a nearby cliff. It’s to the left of them, but more so facing Keith than himself.
Lance goes into overdrive. There’s no time to tell Keith, every second could mean death for them!
So, Lance sidesteps, bumping Keith into his enemy in the process. He lifts his gun, he’s a good shot, but even with his skills, he’s going to need a hell of a lot of luck.
He hears Keith yell something at him just as he takes the shot.
He watches his shot hit his target just as a beam of light shoots through the air and hits Lance straight in the chest.
Lance is sent back by the impact, landing on his back. Lance let out a choked noise, the blast had hit his chest plate, but that didn’t seem to stop the bullet from going through. His armor completely splintered, some of it stuck in his chest, moving and shifting with each breath he took.
“LANCE!” Who was screaming? It sounded like someone he knew.
The pain is unbearable, spit and blood pool out of Lance’s mouth as he lifts his head to assess the damage. It wasn’t deep, but it still exposed muscle and tissue that should otherwise be covered. Still, maybe if they got him to the castle quick enough he wouldn’t die.
Lance lets his head fall back to the ground, coughing as the blood that had been collecting in his mouth hits the back of his throat.
Voices are coming from his helmet, yelling and screaming that just turns into incessant buzzing in his ears.
The voice next to him is back, only this time it’s yelling, barking orders as it gets closer and its owner comes into view.
“Keith?” Lance’s speech comes out garbled, and when he tries to take a deep breath in he’s suddenly choking on his own blood.
Keith lets out a shout before reaching over to turn Lance on his side.
Lance screams as the movement makes his whole body explode in pain, though it sounds wrong with the blood clogging up his airway.
“I know, I know!” Keith’s grip on his arm tightens and his voice is frantic. It’s so unlike the way Keith normally sounds. “I’m sorry!”
Lance is lowered back onto his back, much more gently than he was lifted.
Keith curses before moving into Lance’s vision. “You idiot, if you ever take a bullet for me again I’ll kill you! What’s wrong with you?!”
Lance does his best to smile, “someone’s gotta look out for you, Samurai.” Lance turns his head, he’s so tired.
“Lance?” Keith hits his cheek. “Stay with me! Shit!” Keith swears, running his fingers through his hair. “Lance, Buddy, I gotta lift you.”
Lance hums, “What ‘bout the others?”
“They’re covering us, once we get in the castle we’re evacuating.” Lance can hear Keith move, “Ready? One two-“
Lance doesn’t hear the end of the count. He screams as Keith lifts him into the air. His chest is on fire, and he can’t breathe, oh god he’s dying, it feels like it anyway.
Keith apologizes again, but Lance doesn’t have the chance to say anything as the world around him goes dark.
Lance shoots up out of bed. Nightmares have become much more common since the incident a week ago.
That’s not to say they were uncommon before, sleeping in the silence of space is enough to cause a restless sleep. But they’ve been relentless the last few days.
Lance grabs his chest, his lungs burn as he struggles to take in air. His chest hurts too, a violent pain starting from where his injury had previously been and shooting out to his whole body.
He needs to calm down. Lance takes a quick breath, trying to will his heart to calm down. He’s unsuccessful, the harder he tries to calm down the harder it is for him to breathe. Back on Earth, he’d have someone with him. His mom and his siblings were always so patient and understanding when it came to his panic attacks. He wants that, he wants someone to comfort him.
‘Lance, is everything alright?’ Blue purrs in his head, he can feel her concern through their bond.
Lance shakes his head, he learned very early on that there was no use lying to the magical space lion that could look inside his head.
‘Oh Cub, I wish I could help.’ Lance can feel her guilt. Sometimes, he wishes Blue wasn’t so kind towards him. He couldn’t take how upset she’d get when she couldn’t help him.
‘Why not ask another Paladin for help?’
Lance shakes his head. No, no way. There was no way he was bothering his friends with this.
One thing is for certain, Lance can’t say in his tiny room another second. He’ll just go for a walk, surely that will help him calm down.
Keith currently swings his sword on the training deck. He couldn’t sleep, he was hoping training would burn some excess energy.
Keith slashes at the gladiators. He’s felt restless the last few days, it’s becoming annoying. He can feel it festering just beneath his skin, the frustration that’s been eating away at him for days.
He’s angry at how badly their last battle went. He’s mad at Lance for being so careless. But mostly, he’s mad at himself.
He’s angry for not being good enough, for not being able to prevent Lance from getting hurt. He’s angry at just how useless he’d been while his friend was dying in his arms.
He strikes again before expertly rolling out of the way. He doesn’t want anyone to get hurt because of him again…
Especially not Lance.
Keith defeats the last gladiator, taking its head clean off with his sword. He sits there a moment, catching his breath. Before he can activate the next training sequence he sees movement from out in the hall.
He frowns, who’s up this late? Usually, Keith is the only one up this late. It’s odd to see someone else up and about, maybe Shiro couldn’t sleep either?
Honestly, it’s none of his business, but he can’t help this nagging feeling growing in the pit of her stomach.
Keith sighs, putting his weapon down and walking in the direction he’d seen the movement go. He’s not sure where the person had gone, but he just hopes that he finds them soon.
After a few random turns Keith is almost ready to give up. He turns around the next corner, fully set on giving up if there is no one there.
He’s met with Lance, who’s shuffling his feet almost aimlessly around the hall. Keith frowns, something about this seems really off. “Lance?”
Lance turns, looking akin to a deer in headlights.
Keith’s frown deepens, worry wedging itself deep in its guts. This felt all wrong, Lance is curled in on himself, and he’s shaking from head to toe. “Are you alright?”
Lance swallows, opening his mouth to respond only for a sob to to leave his lips.
Alarm takes over Keith when they don’t seem to stop. Lance chokes on his sobs, breathing fast and heavy and gasping for air.
Keith closes the gap between them, placing his hands on Lance’s arms. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“K-Keith,” it’s all Lance manages to choke out as he leans into Keith.
“Woah, hey,” Keith takes Lance’s weight, leading the two of them down to the floor.
Keith holds him tight, not sure what else to do in this situation. How do you help someone who’s in the middle of a panic attack?
“Take a deep breath, Lance. It’s alright.” Yeah right, like hell it’s alright. What a stupid thing to say.
Lance only clings to him harder, burying his face in the crook of Keith’s neck.
Keith can hear Lance’s struggle for air. Seeing his friend struggle like this leaves Keith’s chest feeling tight. He wishes he knew what to do, wishes that he could take all of Lance’s pain away.
Lance sobs again, causing Keith to hold the Blue Paladin tighter. “It’s alright, I’m right here! Just- just breathe with me, Lance.” Keith begins to take comically exaggerated breaths as he starts to rub circles into the other’s back.
Keith can tell Lance is trying his hardest to match him. Lance takes stuttering breaths, they’re still far too fast, but Keith finds himself smiling at the small improvement.
“There you go, that’s it. In and out.” Keith feels awkward, he’s not used to things like physical contact, but he pushes the feeling down for Lance’s sake. Lance, after all, was more important. “I'm right here, I’ve got you, Buddy.”
It’s such a stark contrast to how they normally interact. Normally, they’re messing with each other, arguments that over time morphed into something almost playful. Keith always knows what to do then, but right now he isn’t sure. So, he sits there and does his best to be there for his friend while he cries it out.
Eventually, Lance begins to calm down. Keith isn’t exactly sure how long they’ve been sitting in the middle of the hallway, it could be hours for all he knows.
Keith looks down at the lanky boy in his arms. Lance isn’t clinging to him anymore, but he makes no effort to move out of Keith’s grip. Lance simply sits in Keith’s arms, looking downright exhausted.
“What happened?” Because, honestly, what was that? Keith doesn’t want to pry but he needs to know what brought that on.
“Bad dream. Sorry.”
“Don’t apologize,” Keith isn’t even sure what Lance is sorry for, but he certainly isn’t upset with him. “Do you… want to talk about it?” Talking about things normally helps, right?
Lance shakes his head, his cheek rubbing against Keith’s shoulder.
Keith hums in response, that’s ok. He isn’t going to force Lance to talk. Lance doesn’t want to talk about it and Keith respects that. “Must’ve been a real bad one.”
“Yeah, I guess,” Lance’s voice is quiet.
Silence fills the hall for a while. There’s something so upsetting about seeing Lance so emotionally exhausted. Keith finds it worrying, it’s like he’s a whole other person.
Keith’s been in space with these people long enough to have seen his fair share of panic attacks. Up until this point, he’s helped all the Paladins except Lance through at least one of them.
Keith just sort of assumed that Lance didn’t get them, or maybe that he had a good support system set up with Hunk since they were close. After seeing this, however, he’d say he was mistaken. It almost seemed as if Lance didn’t know what to do, was this his first panic attack? “Have you had panic attacks before?”
Keith can feel Lance tense in his hold. He’s not sure why Lance does, he didn’t think he’d asked anything personal.
Lance nods, the response leaves a tight feeling in Keith’s chest. Keith was really hoping that wasn’t the case, if that’s how Lance had been handling all his panic attacks, then it’s probably been rough. “When did they start,” Keith’s hoping it hasn’t been for very long.
Lance shrugs, his left shoulder rubbing against Keith’s chest. It wasn’t much of an answer, and it made the tight feeling in Keith’s chest worse.
“Lance,” Keith’s tone is harsher than he means for it to be. He said he wasn’t going to force Lance to talk, but he needs to know, it’s eating away at him. “How long has this been going on?”
Keith can hear Lance’s breath hitch, “I dunno, since like ever?” Lance sounds as if he’s on the verge of tears again. Suddenly, Keith feels bad for practically forcing Lance to respond.
Keith’s heart sinks at the news. Lance has been going through this whole time? How long has he been suffering by himself like this? Since they got to space? Before even that? “Lance…”
Lance pulls away, a strange panicked look on his face. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have bothered you!” Lance scrambles to get up.
Keith frowns, was Lance embarrassed? “Lance-“
Lance ignores Keith, continuing to ramble on. “I mean, we all have our own things we’re dealing with!”
Keith moves to stand, following Lance’s lead, “Lance-“
“Honestly, I’m fine! It’s no big deal, really!” Lance takes a step back.
Keith follows him, taking one step forward. “Lance-“
“And, honestly, I should learn to deal with things on my own!” Lance turns away, clearly intending to run away from the situation.
Oh no, Lance wasn’t getting away that easy, not after spending all that time trying to calm him down. “Lance!” Keith lunges forward, trapping Lance’s wrist in his hands. “Lance, listen to me.”
Lance turns back towards Keith, opting to stare at the hand holding his wrist.
Keith smooths his thumb over Lance’s wrist, trying to reassure him. “Cut it out. No one is telling you to deal with everything on your own. I’m not upset with you for coming to me for help and you didn’t bother me. We’re a team.” He needs Lance to hear him, to believe what he’s saying.
Lance looks up at Keith, eyes wide in disbelief.
Keith doesn’t like the look on his face. Lance shouldn’t be shocked by that. “Listen, if this ever happens again I want you to find someone. It doesn’t have to be me, just go to someone so you don’t have to deal with this on your own. Got it?”
Lance nods, “Whatever you say, Mullet.”
They stand in silence for a few seconds before Allura’s voice echoes from the intercom. “Paladins, please head to the Control Room!”
Lance wiggles his way out of Keith’s grip. “Well, you heard the Princess!” He begins to walk back in the direction he came but is stopped when Keith grabs his shoulder.
Lance turns to Keith, a frown on his face as he cocks his head to the side. “What?”
Keith doesn’t know why, but he hates the idea of leaving Lance alone after that. “Will you be alright?”
Lance scoffs, giving Keith a goofy smile. “‘Course I will, Mullet.”
Keith nods, satisfied with the answer. He can tell that Lance is being sincere, so he lets go of Lance before following him to the Control Room.