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Chapter Text

The trees danced, enjoying their time in the abundant spring, filling the air with sounds of rustling leaves and branches. Around Akaashi, the cherry blossoms were beginning to show their true colours, replacing the bare brown branches with their delicate pastel pink. It was a perfect spring day in Tokyo, the kind which brings out throngs of people for parkside walks and picnics.

However, being in his last few weeks of middle school, Akaashi was doing neither of those. 

Aside from the final exams which were fast approaching, and the applications for high school that had already been sent out, there was an interference of extra curriculars. Being the compulsive person he was, he could have chosen any extra curricular for himself and probably done well at it. However, due to much urging from his mother, he decided to pick a sport, which in hindsight was probably to make Akaashi get his nose out of books once in a while.

Therefore, to please his mother, but mostly to stop her from worrying, Akaashi chose to do volleyball.

Which was precisely the reason why he was spending this glorious spring afternoon hanging between volleyball matches instead of enjoying a good book in silence. 

Walking bathed by the golden sunlight, it was warm enough for Akaashi to crave a popsicle as he walked with his friend. Luckily enough, as they drew near the city gymnasium, there was a singular popsicle stand surrounded by throngs of children, many of whom were older than Keiji. A direct consequence of high school matches also being hosted beside theirs. It seemed the vendor had made the correct decision by settling beside the crowded gym as he happily proceeded in making his sales. 

Gently weaving his way through the crowd, Akaashi managed to get his hands on two, one of which he handed to his friend. Since there were so many people crowding around, it took the two of them a moment to find their way to the pavement. 

Having finished with their last match of middle school, the two of them meandered towards the town gymnasium’s entrance, choosing to stand beside a tree opposing the azure double doors. 

As they watched, two high school boys stepped out of the building. They wore their club uniforms, lightweight white jackets with black and gold stripes along the shoulders and a pair of matching pants. Alongside them, the deafening cheers of the crowd escaped through the shrinking sliver before the doors imprisoned them once again. Feeling unsettled without much to do, it felt like the tittering of the crowd was beckoning him to act. 

As if reminded by the sight of the two boys, his friend suddenly turned to him, lips blue from the popsicle, “Akaashi, where are you gonna go for high school?”

Glancing at the backs of the high school students, he read the bold letters proclaiming ‘Fukurodani’. It was one of the most famous schools in his prefecture and was known for its fine academics along with their champion club teams. 

“I’m thinking Fukurodani, or Suzu-”

“Why not Fukurodani!” he gasped, turning back towards the two boys. Although they had no testament of their ability, Akaashi saw his friend‘s saw eyes gleam, as if ogling something precious. 

Of course, they could not be in the volleyball club without having heard of the powerhouse highschools and the best players, so the observation was not surprising. However, Akaashi was yet to encounter a team or a player who left a lasting impression on him, enough to persuade his decision for high school. 

“You got a recommendation for them, right?” he shrugged, as if a recommendation would have guaranteed Keiji’s choice.  

“Um… well yeah I guess.”

Beside him, his friend abandoned his popsicle for continuing to gawk at the two boys, letting it drip over his fingers. 

“Hey, apparently there are high school matches in the gym right now. Wanna check it out?”

Considering he saw the two boys from Fukurodani Academy, Keiji had no doubt they would be playing. Since he had thought of applying there, he could not think of any reason to refuse. It would be interesting to see who all would be there the following year.

Should he choose to go. 

“Sure, why not?”

After tossing his popsicle stick into the trash, his friend shoved the glass doors open, engulfing the two of them in the crowd’s cheers. He had played for a decently strong team, there was no doubt about it. However, high school was on a different level entirely. The cheering team of his middle school would not be able to make a dent on this ambience. 

After Akaashi reached the railing overlooking the courts, he spared a glance in the direction of the audience. Behind the two of them, the crowd beat their cones against each other to accompany their deafening cheers to lift their team. 

Before turning towards the courts, Akaashi studied the pale blue and grey uniforms of the students cheering in the stands. Since there were many schools there, he would not have been able to make out which school they were from. However, he turned back and looked over the railing, seeing the name of the school on their banner. 

“One Ball, Heart, and Soul”, with “Fukurodani” lurking in the corner. 

What a coincidence. 

“Akaashi-kun! Look, they're gonna spike!”

Tearing his gaze away from the audience, Akaashi watched as the ball arced from one side end of the net to the other, approaching a spiker with the number “12” splayed across his muscular back. He wore knee pads which reached to the middle of his thighs, relinquishing the smallest slice of skin when he crouched for his jump. But even through the dark fabric, each cord of muscle working like a well oiled machine. 

As Akaashi watched him approach the ball, everything else withered away from his sight. All he could see was the solitary spiker flying beside the net. That body held an intensity that made Akaashi’s hands itch to be there beside him.

Number 12 seemed to have the presence of the sun, shining brighter than any player Akaashi had seen. The light emanating from him reflected off his teammates, the audience, and even his opponents. 

The rational part of Akaashi’s mind reminded him that time had not really halted. However, Number 12 seemed to hover in the air as if those rules did not apply to him. 

As the referee’s whistle cut through the air like a knife, Akaashi shook the mirage out of his mind, taken aback by the loud cheers of the crowd behind him.

Number 12’s roar rang through the arena, his voice surprisingly deep even for a high-schooler. It teetered over the edge of a cheer and an animalistic growl. To him, being on the court seemed to be an integral yet simple part of his world, as natural as breathing. 

“Oi, Akaashi-kun.”

Glancing toward his friend, he saw a passed down reflection of the same passion in his eyes, and had no doubt he was the same. 

“Wasn’t that awesome?! He got past those blocks like they were nothing!”

“Yeah…” he muttered, turning back to the court as Number 12’s teammates ruffled his speckled, spiky hair, making the strands fall out of place. “He was pretty amazing.”

-

Fukurodani.

That name lingered in his mind more than he cared to admit. At first, it was simply another high school for him to consider. Now, he found himself standing in a corridor filled to the brim with kids between 15-18, all in the pale blues and greys of the Fukurodani uniform.

After navigating his way from the train station closest to the school, he found himself frozen on the pavement outside the school. 

Since he had accepted his offer for Fukurodani, there was a magma chamber full of emotions slowly filling. His expectations were strangely high, even though he had reminded himself not that much would be different since he had not changed within a solitary spring break.

Standing before the gate as students filed through it in front of him, a crack had appeared, letting all his thoughts out like viscous and dense lava. As much as he would care to admit otherwise, at the vanguard stood anticipation. However it did not stem solely from it being his first day of high school, but with the grey haired boy from the volleyball tournament.

As much as Akaashi had wanted to see that boy, 

the day had been mostly occupied with a tour of their new school, and Akaashi could not help but admit that the infrastructure was truly amazing. Like most school tours, it started out with the most important areas. The outdoor and indoor theatre, the main gym, the labs and club rooms, an absolutely breathtaking library, and finally the classrooms. 

No one from his middle school seemed to be in his class, or in his year in fact. 

Good.

Not that he had anything against them, but he did not have a special connection with any of them. It would be better for him to be exposed to an entirely new crowd. A fresh start.

Most of his teachers were quite pleasant, slightly less overbearing than they were in his middle school. However, the importance of studying was not something they put lightly. In fact most of the conversation with each teacher had included that specific phrase multiple times.

During the lunch break, Akaashi took the opportunity to truly bask in being in a classroom of such a sought after high school. Now that he was there, it was difficult to argue against popular opinion.

His classroom was far larger than the one he had in middle school. The floors were a darker wood panelling, and the chairs and desks far sturdier. Large windows to the left bathed the entire room in a flood of sunlight, giving the room a far more cheerful atmosphere. There was a smartboard at the front of the classroom, beside the teacher’s desk which was orderly decorated with required stationary. On his right, on the side of the class door, there were cubby holes with files, paper, stationary and an area where students could keep their bags and bottles. The wall at the back of the classroom was covered with two large pin boards, both of which were currently empty. Acknowledging past experience, there would likely be a class president who would assign groups to decorate them.

The entire class was filled with milling students, sitting around with their food. Their voices permeated the air, creating a familiar and comforting environment. Out of the corner of his eye he saw a group of girls whispering in a tight circle, looking towards him. Hastily avoiding eye contact, he stood up and walked out of the class, feeling their eyes boring into the back of his skull. 

From the tour in the morning, Akaashi knew the other classrooms were more or less identical to this one, and felt reassured in his decision of picking the right school.

Although Akaashi did not really care for other subjects aside from Japanese and English, he knew he had to excel in them to get where he wanted to. It was a pain in the ass, but less annoying than not being able to attend the university of his choice.

Now that there was nothing but the last class of the day to look forward to, he let his mind wander as he scanned the different faces in the hallway. Not a single of the faces, builds, or hair, matched the one he had seen at the match a few weeks ago. 

Unfortunately, it was not long before the bell resonated in the bright hallways. Almost immediately, he had to tune back distractions from his brain as he sat back in class. Thankfully, the final class was Japanese Literature, which was not easy to lose interest in. 

Before he knew it, the classes for the day were over, and the students all dismissed to enrol in the clubs of their choice. Having already filled out his form for the volleyball club, he simply had to find the manager or the captain to hand it over. When he could not find his way, as a last resort he gently tapped the arm of a chestnut haired girl far shorter than him engaged in conversation with another boy. 

“Um, hi. Could you tell me where I can find the volleyball team?” 

She whipped around far quicker than Akaashi anticipated, her ponytail smacking his face even as he backed away. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” She chirped, an apologetic smile on her face as she shifted her hands through her ponytail. “Are you looking for the volleyball club?”

“Yeah.”

“What a coincidence! Come on, come with me.” She said with confidence, gently grabbing his arm as she began leading him away. Even though her hand did not touch his skin, it made his skin crawl unpleasantly. It took everything in his power not to snatch his hand out of her grip. 

As he stumbled behind her, he could not help but ask, “Uh, who are you?”

“Oh! I’m the manager for the volleyball team. Actually, that’s not right. I’m ONE of the managers. The other i- Wait you know what, you’ll see.”

Sensing a tone of finality in her words, he did not press for more answers.

“Okay here we are. C’mon guys let’s go!” 

As she let go of his arm, Akaashi took the opportunity to look around him, finding a group of two others beside him. 

Following the chestnut-haired girl in the gym clothes, Akaashi could not help but twitch from excitement as he was led to the team. Throughout his years of playing volleyball, he could not recall the last time he was so eager. He had gone through all those years doing what was expected of him and his position, nothing more and nothing else. 

However, Akaashi was reminded of the snippet of the game he had seen last year, and found a part of him hoping that Number 12 would still be here. His physique had given no hints on which year he belonged to, making Akaashi hope he was a first or second year.

It would be foolish for Keiji to have based his decision on a high school entirely due to the presence of a peculiar player. On the other hand, he convinced himself it was because of the extensively large campus with its resources and excellent teachers.

No, it definitely was not Number 12.

“Manager-san?” squeaked a boy beside him, a tell-tale blush on his face as he spoke to the good-looking girl. 

“Th-that spiker from last year’s game. I-is he still in th-the team?”

“Oh do you mean Bokuto Koutarou?” beamed the manager, “Oh yeah! He’s a second year now!”

Unlike himself, Akaashi felt the tension from his body melt away without having realised it was there in the first place. His steps seemed a little lighter as his mind put a name on the spiker who had made his mark in Keiji’s mind. 

Beside him, he could hear the two others’ distant whispers of which he could only catch the words, “amazing”, “powerful”, and “loud”. 

After a moment’s thought, the manager tilted her head with an embarrassed smile and said, “Please, call me Shirofuku! We’re going to be part of the same team, you don’t have to be so formal.”

As her eyes skimmed over the small trio of students, they made contact with Akaashi’s. Somehow sensing the renewed enthusiasm within him, she beamed at him, making her large eyes curve into crescent moons. Beside himself, he found himself returning it with a small smile of his own. 

“I’m glad there are a few of you guys this year. The team could always do with some new talent.” she remarked, turning towards the front as they arrived at the door leading to the gymnasiums. “We don’t have as many members as other schools in Tokyo, even though our team is pretty strong. It only started standing out recently.”

I wonder why

Pushing open the double doors from within the pale marble tiled hallways, Shirofuku let in a wide column of the spring sun beam into the closed space. Although it was not cold, the sun brought a welcoming warmth as Keiji’s fingers had begun freezing as he habitually played with them.

However, they were not in the sun for long as the path they walked through was covered with a slate grey steel covering till they reached the gym. The sides for the most part, were bare, allowing Akaashi a view of the large campus as the other students assimilated into their clubs. Besides the gymnasium they seemed to be heading towards, the other large enclosures around them housed other teams, no doubt basketball being one of them. After football, basketball seemed to be the most popular sport, with volleyball (although popular) not even making it to the top 5. 

The walk was not long as it seemed the volleyball club was in the first gymnasium. 

“Okay! Here we are!“ chirped the manager, 

”How about we meet the rest of the team?” 

Around him were a few other first-years muttering a few words of acknowledgement as Shirofuku opened the gymnasium doors. Following this was an agitated scramble as Akaashi and the others changed from their normal sneakers to the volleyball shoes. At this point, since the action was practically instinctual, Keiji let his mind wander, only to find it steered towards Bokuto Koutaro, who he knew would be in the gym practising. 

Quite unlike himself, he felt that same itch return, more prominent than ever.

While they had been changing their shoes, Shirofuku must have entered the gym, since he heard the coach’s whistle, followed by shuffling footsteps. 

“Alright, you guys can come in now!”

Sucking in a deep breath, Akaashi shut his eyes momentarily to banish all thoughts from his mind, hoping the butterflies would disappear. 

The interior of the hardwood gym was flooded with sunlight through unreachable windows, giving everything a golden glow. A group of students, no doubt the rest of the volleyball team, bunched up on the side. For his own sake, he avoided glancing their way, afraid of seeing speckled grey hair on a head atop muscular shoulders. 

“Welcome, first years!” Bellowed the aged coach heartily. The voice and demeanour reminded Akaashi that he had in fact seen the coach at the game a few months ago. Although his physique may have passed for intimidating, the smile lines around his sparkling eyes said otherwise. Not to mention the unforgettable chest bump with Bokuto Koutaro in the midst of the game.

Like the boys Akaashi had seen earlier this year, the coach wore a similar tracksuit, its black lines somehow sleeker. “I’m the coach of the volleyball team, Yamiji Takeyuki. Why don’t you go around introducing yourselves? Your name and what position you played in middle school.”

Looking to his right, Akaashi realised he would be last amongst the three of them. Unable to suppress his excitement, he drew in a deep breath as the first person stepped forward.

In the time it took for him to exhale, it seemed to be his turn already. 

“I am Akaashi Keiji from Mori Middle School. I played setter. Pleased to make your acquaintance.” He declared. 

Out of the corner of his eyes, he saw a familiar speckled head perk up from the cluster a few steps away from the coach. 

“Ah! Another setter! We’ll see how you fit in with the team soon enough.” Acknowledged the coach, gleefully clasping his hands together. Akaashi would be lying if he said he did not see relief in the coach’s eyes when the three of them had walked in.

“For today, I would like you to watch the second and third years practice, just so that you can get comfortable with the drills and atmosphere.” Stated the coach, walking towards the basket brimming with balls. “From tomorrow, you will join in, and we’ll begin to figure out different strategies with the new players.”

Nodding their heads in affirmation, the three of them shuffled towards the opposite side of the court as the others began practising.

It seemed, somehow in the last few months, Bokuto Koutaro had managed to gain some more muscle. Already gifted with a height which would be considered a blessing for many, it seemed a little unfair the universe decided to grant him ease in building muscle. 

Even though it was just routine practice, it was difficult for Akaashi to take his eyes off of him. Although not plausible, it was as if siren charms seeped through the cracks of his smile and the furrow of his brows, momentarily causing all else to disappear. Through the afternoon’s practice, the fire in Bokuto’s eyes did not dampen even in the slightest. The same burning passion which Akaashi had seen during the match. He seemed to be someone who devoted their very soul into what they did.

After the initial astonishment of seeing Bokuto Koutaro again, Keiji had managed to calm himself enough to perform his role without a hitch. The whiplash of going from one of the oldest in his team to the youngest was short lived, for there was a very occasional instance where the others treated him that way. Of course there was an unavoidable gap in their experiences, but went unacknowledged since they seemed to assume Akaashi knew what he was doing. 

Practice seemed to fly by rather quickly, and although he was not asked to, he lent a hand in cleaning the court. In the middle of mopping, just as he was admiring the shine on the well maintained hardwood, he was interrupted by none other than Bokuto Koutaro.

Surprisingly, he approached Akaashi gingerly, all of his previous confidence gone, hands behind his back as he watched his fiddling feet.

“Hey, uh… Akashi-kun-”

“It’s Akaashi.” He blurted out, internally astonished as he instinctively interrupted Bokuto Koutaro.

As if he took no mind, Bokuto’s face went blank as he tilted it ever so slightly to the right. This time, he stared straight at him, leaving Akaashi’s eyes no room to wander. 

“Could you help me practice spikes for just a little bit?”

Instantly, Akaashi’s mind flashed back to the performance he had seen in the match and in practice, the voice in his mind chanting, ‘say yes .’ The butterflies in his stomach swooped in as he heard Bokuto’s shoes squeak on the floor he had just cleaned. 

Just a few weeks ago, he had allowed his mind to wander, wondering what it would be like to stand beside a star player on the court. There really had been no one like him before, but Akaashi was sure he would meet more if he took this opportunity.

Volleyball may not have been his passion but there was nothing wrong with being good at it.

“Sure.”

Whooping in delight, Bokuto Koutaro skipped off towards the bunch of water bottles near the benches. As Akaashi went to place the mop in the cabinet, he observed the second and third years sparing him sympathetic and pitiful glances, although he could not figure out why.

One of the second years, Konoha Akinori, approached him, sticking out his hand in which a single key dangled from his finger. 

“Don’t forget to lock up after you’re done.” Konoha reminded him, looking amusingly over Akaashi’s shoulder at Bokuto Koutarou. “I’d give him the keys but he’d probably lose them. You seem responsible enough though. Just uh.. go home on time okay? Don’t overdo it!”

Unable to glean anything from the myriad of statements, Akaashi was left alone to ponder over his senior’s words. Was Bokuto really that irresponsible that his classmates trusted Akaashi, a first year they had just met, over him?

However, it became apparent soon enough. 

In the beginning, the gym was filled with the comfortable silence as the two of them concentrated on their respective roles, exchanging occasional tips and corrections. Being a quiet only child, there really was really nothing else that could put him at ease. However, as time went on, Akaashi could feel his arms beginning to ache from the neverending string of tosses. He would have killed to have some music playing.

Nearly two hours later, Akaashi wiped the sweat from his brow, having seen Bokuto Koutaro spike ball after ball showing little to no signs of weariness. Panting, he bent over, supporting his hands on his knees as he tried to catch his breath. 

“Nice kill…” he murmured, at the very least acknowledging the spiker who had asked him to practice. More like a monster, than anything else. 

“Akashi!!”

“It’s Akaashi-” began Keiji, lifting himself up once more to see Bokuto Koutaro approaching him with what seemed to be the widest smile in his repertoire. 

“Your tosses are the best!” he panted, paying no mind to the sweat trickling down his face. 

Taken aback by the sudden confession, Akaashi found himself at a loss for words and could do nothing but stare back at the 16 year old. No one had ever complimented him so blatantly before, and he felt an unexpected surge of warmth spread from his chest, all the way up to his face. Luckily, the sweat from practice disguised the rush of blood to his cheeks. Not that Bokuto was paying any attention. 

After a point, he realised it would be both rude and dismissive if he did not say anything. However, the problem which towered above him was that he could not think of any words to say. 

No doubt confounded by the silence, Bokuto opened his eyes and gazed expectantly at him. 

“Ah… sure.” he blurted out instinctively, poised to turn away if need be.

Disappointed with his answer, Bokuto pouted, and Akaashi could swear the speckled spikes of hair seemed to droop along with it. 

“Could you sound a bit more fired up…” 

Blinking blankly at Bokuto, Keiji evaluated the possible responses to that, but could not conclude whether any of them would end in a satisfying way. 

“Uhm.. sorry?”

Tilting his head, Bokuto studied him curiously.

Up close, Akaashi realised his eyes truly were a peculiar shade. Earlier he had thought the sunlight flowing through the windows had caused them to appear lighter than they truly were. However, staring into them was like staring into a ring of molten gold, almost bright enough to blind him. Akaashi knew it would not be difficult to lose track of time and simply lose himself into those unsettling eyes which seemed to mimic the pulsating of cooling metal the longer he stared into them.

After what seemed like an infinite moment, Bokuto finally straightened up, pushing back his shoulders as he started backing away. For a second, he was scared that the older boy might have found his behaviour peculiar, but he did not seem to make any indication of it.

“Thanks for practising with me!” He blurted out, just as abruptly as last time, before turning on his heel and beginning to scoop up the scattered volleyballs. 

Unwilling to break the comfortable silence which had swept into the gym with the evening air, Akaashi assisted Bokuto in cleaning up the court without another word exchanged between them. Far more than before, he found his gaze lingering on Bokuto, who seemed to be lost within his own thoughts, in all probability reflecting over the evening’s practice.

Although it started with a critique of his own performance and how much his muscles ached from the hours of drawn out torture, he quickly moved past those. He could not, for the love of god, figure out the person before him. Even as Akaashi watched him, there seemed to be no thoughts expressed on his face, or far too many simultaneously.

On the outside, it was easy to declare that Bokuto held volleyball exceedingly close to his heart. The longer Akaashi spent with him, the more apparent it became. However, there was not a single person on this planet that was that simple. Everyone had their nuances, and usually their behaviour betrayed it. 

Of course he had barely spent 4 hours with him, most of which was occupied with physical activity, however not knowing much about Bokuto unsettled him.

He wanted to change that.

Just as they had finished, the two of them stood outside the gymnasium doors as Bokuto stared at the door with a look of intense concentration. 

“Akashi...” he muttered, turning to face the first year, his golden eyes dulled with embarrassment to a sombre amber shade. 

“It’s Akaashi…” Murmured Keiji half-heartedly, however Bokuto did not seem to hear him.  

“I forgot to ask for the keys...” He pouted, fiddling with the lock on the door as he turned away from Keiji. 

“Oh, Konoha-san gave them to me before practice.”

Letting out a large sigh of relief, Bokuto skipped away from the door, letting Akaashi step forward and lock it. 

“Akashi, do you take the train home?”

Involuntarily, Keiji’s hand jerked, making the keys miss the lock by a large margin. 

“Er, yes.”

“Oh! Me too! Let’s go together!” He cheered, tugging on Akaashi’s jacket, not relinquishing even a moment for Keiji to reply. 

Barely having removed the keys from the lock, he got no more than a second to check whether he had locked it properly before he was being dragged away by Bokuto.

They walked back through the covered pathways made outside to the main school building. There were no doubt side entrances to the school, however considering the time they must all be locked. Since he was still unfamiliar with the school’s layout, he let Bokuto lead the way out.

Having been at the school for only a day, Akaashi found the ghostly silence strangely comforting. Since he was an only child, he was no stranger to silence. It was a constant companion and gave him room to think. After 3rd grade, he learned to cherish it. 

The only sounds which could be heard in the entire vicinity were of their footsteps and the rustle of their clothing. Akaashi had no doubt there ought to be some students still in the library, since it was kept open to students till 8 pm. However, the students, if any, made no indication they were present.

The hallways through which he had traversed just this morning took on a silvery glow as they were bathed in moonlight. It was a stark contrast to the warm lighting which the hallways were lit up with during the day. Moonlight however, seemed to have a transformative power of making everything he had already seen look strangely different. Curious, Akaashi looked at Bokuto’s hair, and then to the moon, finding the pearly shade undistinguishable.

“Akashi?” blurted out Bokuto, eyes still fixated ahead. After a moment of contemplation, Akaashi deemed it unlikely Bokuto had caught him staring and decided there was no harm in answering. 

“Yes, Bokuto-san?” 

 “Is there something on my face?” He asked, turning towards him quizzically. Genuinely confused, his lips were curled into a pout as he tried to wipe the non-existent dirt from his face.

Averting his gaze furtively, Akaashi took a sudden interest in observing the font of the signs which labelled each classroom.

“No, there’s nothing.” He answered quickly, silently dreading the question that would follow. Although it was too late, he prayed to the gods, any of whom were willing to hear him out, to distract Bokuto.

“Oh, okay… Uh, anyway, where do you live?”

Taken aback by the sudden dismissal, Akaashi felt as if the universe was toying with him. Unfortunately for him, it was not a benevolent power which could normally be ignored, but a living breathing person who was the only one beside him in a secluded hallway.

“Not far from my middle school. It’s about 15 minutes by train from here.”

“Aaaahh it takes me 10, yours must be a couple of stops after mine.” He pondered. “Isn’t that kinda far though, why’d you come all the way here?”

It was a question he had already been asked a lot. However, it was his first time being asked by the very person who had tipped the scales in Fukurodani’s favour.

“I got a recommendation, I had also heard the teachers were quite good.” Recited Akaashi, deciding not to stray from his normal response.

“Woah you got a recommendation? You must be really smart!” 

“I’d like to think that.” sighed Akaashi as they stepped out of the school building. Only after they stepped out onto the asphalt road did he realise he had said that out loud.

Bashful, he observed Bokuto out of the corner of his eye, but it seemed he had either not heard Keiji, or did not think much of it. 

Already aware of where the station was, his protests were ignored as Bokuto insisted on walking with him. After a few halfhearted tries, Akaashi let the thought slip from his mind. Although he knew he could possibly contribute to any conversation, it seemed Bokuto was just as willing to accompany him in silence.

Living in Tokyo, even if it was the outskirts, there was always too much light from the city to unveil the stars completely. On the other hand, nothing seemed to stop the moon.

If the hallway had looked different, the streets were eerier. Of course Akaashi knew they would begin to crowd as soon as they distanced themselves from the school. Until then, it felt as if Akaashi and Bokuto were the sole inhabitants of this small and silent world.

Along with the rustling of the leaves, Bokuto’s cheer-y whistles filled the air. He had an unusual manner of placing the sling of his bag along his forehead, pushing his spiked hair away from his face and leaving his hands free. Even as they approached the station and the mirage of their silent world was broken, Bokuto continued holding it in that peculiar way, ignoring the looks others were giving him. 

Considering the time, it was likely there were many adults heading home at the same time, so it was a miracle the two of them could find seats.  Once they did, Akaashi sank into it gratefully, with Bokuto sitting utterly attentive. 

“So Akaashi, how did I do today?” he asked quietly, his voice somehow still cutting through the babble of the adults around them.

Taking a moment to ponder over their practice period, Akaashi did not give him an answer straight away. It was not because it took him time to remember, but because he did not know how to frame the words. 

“Bokuto-san, do you not like hitting straights?” he asked tentatively, not looking towards him just yet. “Majority of your spikes after you synced with my tosses were cross shots. It didn’t look like you hit any straight shots which were avoidable.”

Pouting, Bokuto looked down at his lap, his hands fiddling with a small keychain on his bag.

“My cross shots are way better. My straights hit the net a lot in matches, so I just hit cut shots.” he explained, not without shame. “I know I should probably work on them, but I didn’t feel like messing up today.”

“If the other team catches onto your dislike for straight shots, they’ll give up on blocking straights and block your cross hits.” Countered Akaashi. “It would be really difficult to earn points that way, won’t it?”

Frowning, Bokuto’s posture began to droop, with his spiky hair no longer standing proud, instead beginning to go limp. With a grimace, Akaashi’s fingers fidgeted in agitation, hoping he had not overstepped his bounds. 

“Akashi-”

“It’s Akaashi.” He corrected instinctively, immediately biting back a curse as Bokuto stared at him with conviction. 

“Ah, er Akaashi-kun, before school practice starts at 7. Will you practice with me at 6?”

“Sure, Bokuto-san.”

“Ahhh, no one does extra practice with me anymore. I mean they used to in the beginning, but every time I try to look for Konoha he always disappears. The others just keep saying no all the time.”

I wonder why.

The two hours they spent with extra practice was more tiring than some matches Akaashi had played in middle school. 

“You won’t say no to me, right Akaashi?”

For a moment, Akaashi sincerely contemplated saying, “no” just to see how Bokuto would react. However, he thought it was better not to joke around too much, since his hair still seemed to be dropping lower and lower. 

“Sure, I’ll practice with you Bokuto-san.”

Letting out a longer “Aaah” than required, Bokuto relaxed against the glass behind his head, a content smile gracing his lips.

Of course it would be weird for him to stare, but Akaashi could not help it. With his eyes open, Bokuto seemed like a strangely vigilant person and he had not gotten the opportunity to properly look at him.

From the sliver of the match he had observed weeks ago, Akaashi’s mind had cultivated a certain image of Bokuto which had started out more or less accurately. Nevertheless, his mind could not escape the annoying habit of forgetting. Memories fade, it was only natural. So, no matter how much he wanted to, Keiji could not stretch a moment to live in it indefinitely.

In spite of that, as he sat beside Bokuto, watching as the blinding white light flowed over the curves of his face and neck, he really wished the moment could last forever.

Of course he knew next to nothing about the person sitting beside him. That did not seem to stop his heart from skipping a beat as he looked at Bokuto. Akaashi knew he was good at volleyball, but did he have to be good looking too?

Usually, as most memories go, the manner in which he recollected something seemed far more appealing than the actual event which had occurred. Bokuto’s appearance was the one exception.Fine arts had never been his forte, but if someone told him to, he would sit for hours attempting to recreate the picture before him.

Thinking nothing of it for the first five minutes, Akaashi simply went through his texts. However, as Bokuto’s stop got closer and closer, Akaashi kept glancing back at him, attempting to figure out whether he was awake or not. Unsure of whether he should chance it, Akaashi did not try to awaken him in any way until it was absolutely necessary for him to.

As the pleasant voice over the speakers announced Bokuto’s stop, Akaashi deemed it was finally time. Just as he was about to turn, Bokuto snapped up, as if contacted with an exposed wire. Left shaken from the sudden scare, Akaashi could only watch as Bokuto skipped off towards one of the now open doors before yelling over the voice of the announcer. 

“See ya tomorrow, Akaashi!”

After his initial shock, he ignored the strange looks from the others around him and settled back into his seat. Considering he still had about 7 minutes to himself, he popped in his earphones and stared out of the window, a pleasant r & b song (a favourite of his father’s) echoed in his ears. Although he had been using public transport since he was in middle school, there was something mesmerizingly comforting about watching the world whip past him. It gave the illusion that he was suspended in time, with no worries or responsibilities to anchor him.

Since his middle school had been close to his home, it was only a 5 minute train ride. On the other hand, the Fukurodani campus was a good 15 minutes which he had thoroughly enjoyed in the morning. Since it was his first day, he was not entirely sure whether the light and pleasant feeling in the morning was from the thrill of a new chapter in his life or the longer train rides.

Although it was his habit to recall the school work he had from the day, he put it off for now. He did not wish to spoil his mood with thoughts about sitting behind a desk and hunched over work. It was not something he always looked forward to, despite what most teachers believed. Well, except for the book he had to read for his Literature class.

Volleyball had initially started out as a club for him, but he could not deny that it let him blow off steam in a productive manner. The last time his arms had burned from this much use was the first time he had decided to play volleyball. He could recall it, clear as day. Red speckled arms, hot sweat dripping off the ends of his dishevelled hair, and a burning in his lungs that took a few minutes to disappear. When he had caught his reflection on the side of a window, he could barely recognise himself.

His parents had instilled in him that his appearance was one of the things he should be quite careful about. So he had taken it on to be meticulous. He had an entire skin and hair care routine by the time he was beginning primary school. Of course he played with the others in his class, but nothing had ever distracted him enough to stop thinking about how he appeared to others. A mere five minutes into learning about volleyball, someone could have come up to him and asked him his name and it would have taken him a few moments to answer since he was so engrossed.

Fixations were not a very common occurrence for him.

The very first one he could remember was the time his parents read him a book to make him sleep. It was quite amusing, in hindsight, that he thought a book was something magical. To his young mind, a book was like a gateway to another dimension, except it was brought to life almost entirely by his imagination. Of course his fascination with books did not die down, and they are still items of great enthrallment for him. However, after he had started playing volleyball, he remembered his mother telling him that it was like she was reading a book to him for the first time. 

He spent quite literally every spare moment of his day trying to make himself better, until he reached a point where it no longer seemed very challenging. He no longer ran out of breath. His arms no longer hurt. And there was no school they could not take on.

Of course his improvement had taken immense effort on his part, but after a point he reached a plateau and found it uniformly dull. This had taken place around his second year of middle school. Practice became a daily chore instead of a ground for him to grow on. His coach was immensely satisfied with his performance and did not seem to find any flaws in his performance, so did not push for anything more.

Akaashi was aware that he had a long way to go. He had watched professional matches, and those between high school and college students. As much as he watched their performance with admiration, he knew he did not have the kind of passion it required to reach a professional stage. For high school on the other hand, he thought it was something that could be pursued later. With no one who matched his desire to push himself, he let himself be and focused on his work instead, living comfortably on his plateau.

Today, it seemed Bokuto had smashed his fragile idea of a plateau with a sledge hammer.

It was not as if he was falling behind the other setter on the team. In fact the coach had seemed more or less satisfied with his performance. 

Nevertheless, as he thought about Bokuto, his gut twisted with a myriad of emotions, and he knew he now had a reason to get better. The excitement he once felt before going to practice was now burning within him again.

Just as he was thinking about revisiting the volleyball strategy book he had bought a few years ago, the train began slowing to a stop. Tearing his eyes away from the buildings that had now begun to fly by slower, he checked the name of the stop at the sign above the door. Much to his astonishment, the bright red letters spoke of his stop, causing his eyes to flit to the clock above the screen. It seemed he had been so caught up in his own mind that he had missed the train stopping at the last two stations.

Slipping his bag back over his shoulder, he stepped out of the train and onto the deserted platform. Since it was well lit and in near perfect condition, it was eerie to see no one there. In the morning, he had barely been able to navigate through the crowd. Despite the fact that he had left his home to catch the earlier train, he had almost been shut out by the merciless steel and glass paned doors. It was far more pleasant this way, even though he may not be used to it.

As he stepped onto the street and began walking, he was hit by how empty the streets were. Before they had moved to this neighbourhood, they had lived in a bustling apartment complex which was teeming with children to the point where it seemed overpopulated. So he had once become accustomed to sounds of various households above and below him even in the dead of night.

After his mother got a promotion, they could afford a house to themselves in a more elegant neighbourhood, which was exactly what they did. So now, they lived in a small, highly sought after neighbourhood without many children. It was populated mostly by the elderly, so it was far quieter than the streets of the friends he had visited.

There were a few things that he could definitely appreciate, but there were many that he truly missed a little more with each passing day.

When they had lived in that small apartment, his parents had worked regular hours, and were there when he got back from club activities. Just their presence had helped him feel at ease, since he knew there was someone to come back to who would take care of him. Since the two of them advanced in their workplaces, smaller responsibilities, especially those he had become the most dependent on had switched to him.

Cooking dinner, washing dishes, drying and ironing clothes, even taking kitchen appliances and other devices to get them repaired. All this while keeping up with his school work had forced him to be less reliant on his parents. 

Of course this did not last very long, since his mother got promoted once again and gained more flexible hours and chose to take back some of the duties from Akaashi. However, there was a tension which he did not know how to overcome, and it gnawed at his mind with each passing day.

When he reached his street, he took off the earphones, winding them up so that they would not be tangled as he put them in the pocket of his bag. At one point he had not been used to having his mother home and did not remember to take the earphones off before walking off to his room. In doing so, he upset his mother, who had so looked forward to that day, and he had come back downstairs only to find her crying.

As he walked past the other houses, he could not help but notice the signs of the occupants’ different pastimes. He knew for a fact that their neighbours to the left, a retired army general and his wife, truly loved gardening. The front and back of their home was filled with neat and orderly lines of different fruit and vegetable bearing plants. There were many times during the year they would often call on Akaashi to help them harvest some of their produce. Afterwards, they had often sent him home cooked meals with the ingredients he helped collect. 

Their neighbour across the street, a judge in the court of law, was quite fond of collecting books and often lent them to Akaashi. He could still remember the first time he had stepped foot in her library. The deep oak shelves were lined exquisitely with books organised by topic. Quite often, he would walk between the shelves, savouring the way the pads of his fingers caressed over the spines of countless well kept books. There was never a time where she failed to comment on how well he took care of them each time he returned one. Each year on his birthday, she would give him a priceless volume pertaining to a topic he remembered mentioning as a passing remark in their many conversations.

To the right of their house, there was an elderly man living with his son who had a PhD in mathematics and taught at a nearby university. One of the days Akaashi had truly been struggling with his mathematics homework, he had been visiting briefly to borrow some milk. Having seen the open textbook and worksheets, he offered his help and Akaashi had been in no position to turn him down. They often sat over hot chocolate, solving problems until Akaashi had become comfortable with problems which high school seniors struggled with.

It took him time to train his mind not to wander when he did the same thing during class.

Just as he reached his house, he noticed a roll of paper beside the sidewalk which led to the main door. Scooping it up, he shuffled into the house, habitually shutting the door behind him. 

From the kitchen, he could hear his parents engaged in conversation, so he called out a quick greeting as he untied his shoes. Watching his step on the slippery marble, he padded up the stairs in his socks to go change into something more comfortable. Absent-mindedly, he put on a pair of shorts and a t-shirt before grabbing a book, and made his way into the kitchen, roll of paper in hand.

From friends of his father, Akaashi had often heard that he looked very much like him. On the other hand, from his mother’s friends, he heard that he looked exactly like her. So, it was always an interesting experience whenever he met either group with both his parents beside him. It always began with an expression of shock, with their eyes nervously flit back and forth between his face and those of his parents.

His mother, unlike him, had lighter brown hair which fell in large curls over her shoulder. Her face was a little sharper, and her nose a slightly more slender. However, Keiji shared her peculiar dark blue, almond eyes. He had also inherited her more slender frame, which despite him working out did not seem to become any broader.

On the other hand, his father had smooth raven black hair which he shared with Akaashi. He was quite built in comparison to Akaashi and his mother, and shared a similar nose and jaw structure with Keiji.

However, somehow, Keiji was taller than both his parents.

At his appearance, both his parents beamed with joy, his father going so far as to pull him into a hug and ruffling his hair, which took him a moment to reciprocate.

“Keiji! How was your first day?” Cooed his mother, running her hands through his hair to fix the ruffled mess his father left behind. Behind her was a cutting board with a sharp bladed knife and a half cut carrot. Beside it, he noticed a half empty bottle of wine and two glasses filled with different levels of the cherry red liquid. 

Explains the excitement.

“It was nice. I love the building, and the teachers seem great.”

“Well, as long as you’re happy, we’re happy too Kei.” Stated his father, taking a sip from his glass.

Dropping his gaze, Keiji bit his lip as he poured himself a glass of water from the refrigerator, resisting the urge to tap his fingers against the glass. As he went to sit near the island counter, he remembered the paper he had brought in from the curb.

“Oh, this was outside. I thought it might be important but I couldn’t look at it yet.” he stated, handing the paper over to his father. 

Setting his glass aside, he unfurled it as Akaashi opened his book and began reading. It was a collection of short stories from the middle ages, with sentence structures that often forced him to reread the same line five times. When he encountered one such phrase, he shook his head after the third time and stared at the wall instead. The old grandfather clock mounted just outside the kitchen showed the time to be 7:26, and Keiji did a double take at his parents.

“Otou-san, I thought you’re at work till 8. Why are you home so early?”

“Wanted to be home when you came back from your first day.” He shrugged. “What kept you so long though? I thought school would end at 3:15.”

“There was club practice after school.” Akaashi replied simply as his mother gently swatted his dad on the arm.

“Akio! You know Keiji plays volleyball!”

Throwing his hands up in surrender, he gave Keiji a pleading look from behind his rectangular glasses. For a moment, Akaashi’s heart skipped a beat as he finally felt the familial banter he witnessed in the homes of his friends finally making its way into his family.

“Sorry. I-”

“It’s okay, otou-san.” Interrupted Keiji, giving his parents a small smile.

For him, the scene was quite foreign.

He was used to a lonely house, with the only sounds reaching his ears produced by him. This was a big change, but one he knew he would grow to enjoy.

The small talk continued until dinner, during which the conversation slid into work talk which Akaashi unconsciously blocked out.

At least they lasted more than twenty minutes this time.

Giving a nod and a smile in between their words, he bid his parents goodnight once he felt the last ounce of energy leave him.

After getting into bed, he could not help but go over the day, no matter how exhausted he was. And, despite himself, just as he was drifting off, a smile made itself onto his lips, lingering until the dim light of the night lamp faded into darkness.

Chapter Text

After his first day, Akaashi fell into a routine of filling in as Bokuto’s setter whenever he wanted to practise. Although he did not have trouble talking to people, he had often been told that he was too closed off and blunt. With Bokuto, it did not seem to be a problem, since he had accepted the fact that Keiji simply did not show every emotion on his face, and took Akaashi’s brusque words without flinching.

On the other hand, Keiji was often taken aback with just how straightforward even Bokuto could be. At times, the older boy would point out something obvious which had slipped Akaashi’s mind and he could feel the tips of his ears burning as he muttered thanks. If he was being honest, he sometimes found himself getting too caught up with analysing Bokuto and how he plays to keep track of himself properly. He was trying to get a hold of himself.

But evidently, without much success.

The initial wave of admiration had dialled down, but there were moments where he caught himself slipping.

Watching Bokuto’s muscles move under his tanned skin. Moments where he could see the golden sunlight make his sweat covered skin gleam, making him look like a real life statue of a Greek god. Times where he hunched over from exhaustion, making his shorts slip up, revealing the thinnest sliver of his skin on his upper thighs. 

Mostly it was his eyes.

Akaashi could write an essay on them and still have more left to say.

There was a burning passion in them whenever they were anywhere near a volleyball. However what fascinated him was their luminescence when Akaashi made him laugh as they sat together in the lunch break. The wistful concentration when those eyes were fixated on a point in the distance as Bokuto spoke about some point in his future. His eyes were like a kaleidoscope of amber, gold, and bronze, constantly shifting, just like his moods. 

Eyes that took Akaashi’s breath away when they studied him with the same glowing gold that betrayed Bokuto’s contentment.

However, the two of them had reached a place where they balanced each other out, and Keiji was afraid of disturbing that.

So, he kept those moments locked away.

If his family had any complaints about seeing him far less than before, or him not doing as many chores, they did not voice them.

Of course he appreciated the support. However there was something he could not deny.

it made him feel… slightly, unwanted.

Over time, he had gotten used to seeing the small grateful smile his mother wore as she noticed the washed and ironed clothes in their respective closets. The relieved shoulders of his father when he walked in after a particularly long day and found the dinner Akaashi had cooked waiting for him. 

One of the nights after a particularly gruesome round of practice which left him exhausted, Akaashi sat at the low dinner table in his living room with a book he had to read for Japanese literature.

Usually, it was one of his favourite spots in the house to study. The rug below him was aged, but still well kept, making it amiable. There was no lack of pillows, and he usually piled two or three beside him for the sake of comfort. Having two working parents, he had no need to go to the school library since his house was quite silent.

However, he could hear his mother’s sweet voice singing an old song from the kitchen, along with the sizzle of meat on a pan. Since his father was not home, he was slightly more eager to talk about what was troubling him. 

However, he did not go to her immediately, since he still had quite a bit of work to do. His mind, on the other hand, had a different opinion and refused to focus on the book before him. At long last, when the complicated kanji began swimming on the page, he surrendered and placed the book aside.

Stretching as he got up from the floor, he heard the gentle padding of his footsteps as his feet touched the cool tiles of the kitchen. 

“Oka-san?” Approached Akaashi gingerly, unsure of exactly how to begin. 

“Hm?” 

Of course it was not the greatest time to approach her since she was in the middle of cooking dinner. Either way, he entered the kitchen to stand beside her and began to peel the carrots which lay washed on a board. 

“Are you not upset over me practising so much?” He asked quietly, staring resolutely at the carrots before him. However, his usually deft hand with the peeler nearly slipped as his mother broke out into a bout of laughter. Taken aback, he observed her for any signs of illness. 

“Oh Keiji… you must be the only high-schooler who worries about that.” She sighed, wiping her brow as she brushed away stray strands of her dark hair. “I’m just happy you’re finally getting out of your shell without me telling you to leave the room. You’re a smart kid, I’m not worried about your grades, I know you’ll ask me if you need anything.”

Akaashi didn’t think this was the right time to bring up the other adults he consulted instead of his own parents.

Unsure of where the conversation was leading to, Akaashi hid his astonishment, keeping a sober front as he probed a little further. 

“Don’t you want me to help out at home, Oka-san?”

“I know you’ll help out when you can, Keiji-chan.” She hummed, casting a glance towards the half peeled carrot in his hand. “Don’t feel guilty about living your life.”

Rendered speechless, he returned to peeling the carrot as his mother came to his side, covering the boiling soup with a lid as she helped him with the carrots. 

“You are having fun, right?”

If his mother had asked him this a few months prior to tonight, Akaashi would have had to lie and shrug his shoulders. However, as exhausting as it was, he was finally beside someone who made him excited to play volleyball. Before him, Akaashi regarded volleyball as a duty he had to fulfil, with him playing his role just enough to get by. Now, the driven aura around Bokuto forced him to look past simply existing and to improve himself.

Although high school was a challenge in itself, Keiji now had a small notebook tucked away in his bag which contained data from Shirofuku, and a list of his own.

Over time, it seemed Bokuto brought his own challenges with him. With their first practice match approaching, Keiji had made a list of five things which were potential problems. However, he knew Bokuto would ha-

“Keijiii? You’re having fun right?” She repeated, her voice hinting at her concern.

Sheepishly, Akaashi turned to look at her. Although she did not allow the concern to make its way onto her face, he could see the light in her deep blue eyes dim ever so slightly. 

“Don’t do something you don’t enjoy. Life’s too short for that.”

Placing the peeler back on the board, Akaashi stared at his hands, eyes tracing over the calluses from his years of playing volleyball. Even if it had not been fun for some time, it had made a mark on him which he was reluctant to relinquish. 

“Yeah… I’m having fun.” he admitted, smiling to himself as he let his hands curl into loose fists, feeling the muscles fold over one another. “I’d forgotten how fun it was in the middle. Honestly it had become quite tiresome. But, I’m playing with people who make it exciting.” 

“Oh?” His mother chirped, “May I ask who they are?”

“Well… there’s a spiker, Bokuto Koutarou. He’s a second year and he… he lifts everyone up when they’re playing a game. I can’t exactly explain it, but playing with him around just feels… different.” babbled Akaashi, momentarily forgetting he was talking aloud until his mom let out an undignified ‘ooOOoh’. 

“Sounds like quite the star player.” She added. “Are there others or just Bokuto?” 

“Uh, the others help me out, and they play quite well. But, Bokuto-san stands out the most.”

“Is he the one who’s been dragging you away for all these extra practice sessions?”

“Yeah…”

“Seems like I'll have to give him a little ‘talking to’, huh?” huffed his mother, glancing at Keiji expectantly. Embarrassed, he did not meet her gaze, seemingly giving her a satisfactory reaction. 

“What’s that supposed to mean, Oka-san?” he mumbled, pulling another bout of laughter from his mother.

“Aish, no need to get so defensive Keijii. It didn’t mean anything you need to worry about.” She admonished, smiling to herself.

Clearing his throat, he absent mindedly fidgeted with the edge of the cutting board as he avoided meeting his mother’s eyes. 

“Well, uh… I think it would be better to, uh, stay away from him.”

“Oh?” Squeaked his mother, crossing her arms. “And why is that?”

“Well… he’s kind of untouchable isn’t he?” Shrugged Akaashi, as if pointing out the obvious.

His mother however, did not share that sentiment.

“Why do you say that?”

“He’s this.. I mean, he’s the kind of player you can’t help but admire.”

“And…?”

“And… I-it’s not my place to affect that. He’s a big part of the team and I, well no one should mess that up.”

“Oh Kei…” Sighed his mother. “You’ve thought all of this out, but have you even asked him how he feels about you?”

At a loss for words, it took him a few moments to pull himself together.

“F-feel about me? What do you mean, Oka-san?”

Gently tapping the top of his head with the spatula, his mother let out a chastising tut. 

“Well it's obvious you like him. But before you go around deciding all of this shouldn’t you ask him if he likes you too?”

Astonished, he gawked at his mother, feeling heat rise to his face as he stared at her anticipating face. 

Before he could ask her to explain herself, the two heard his father’s voice from the door, announcing his arrival. 

Giving him one last smile, his mom shook off any attempts Akaashi made to stay in the kitchen and pushed him out to greet his father. 

After a five minute surface conversation, Akaashi returned to his room until dinner. To fight the little heat, the solitary ceiling fan in his room let out small squeaks with each rotation, a familiar sound which had now become soothing. Surrounded by the familiar pastel blue walls with various organised bookshelves of dark mahogany, he lay back on his bed, letting his thoughts wander.

Did he really have feelings for Bokuto Koutaro? The most enigmatic person he had met till date?

It was not as if thoughts centred ar-

As if sided against him, his mind immediately surfaced memories of the countless moments he had spent thinking about how to get Bokuto performing at peak efficiency. In both volleyball and curricular subjects. 

Alright Keiji could not deny that he thought about him to a significant degree. 

Well, it was not as if most of his day was spent wi-

Immediately his mind flashed to the extra practices, free lessons, and lunch breaks the two of them shared every day. 

No he really could not say that either. 

God, was his mother really right?

Shaking his head to dismiss the thought, he reminded himself what brought up the final leg of their conversation in the first place.

It was not his place to stand beside Bokuto. 

A ‘star’ seemed to fit Bokuto perfectly. He was an entity which did not discriminate, shining on friends and rivals alike. However, the light fluctuated more frequently the longer Akaashi was by Bokuto’s side. Even though it was not solely up to him, Keiji felt responsible for helping his light return to its warm intensity, even if it was  through actions that seemed too trivial to others. A small sacrifice in the face of standing beside someone who shines so bright. 

-

The following day, just as Akaashi was about to leave his classroom to meet Bokuto at their usual spot, he was approached by 2 second years, Konoha and Anahori.

“Hey Akaashi! If you ever need a break from Bokuto just say the word! I won’t replace you… obviously. But, I’ll help you think of excuses if you want.”

Beside Konoha, Anahori ‘tsked’ and shook his head dolefully. “You won’t even replace him.”

For that comment, he earned a glare from Konoha as Akaashi waved the two of them off. 

“Ah… no, that's okay. It’s actually pretty fun for me to practise with a star player.”

Flabbergasted, the two of them stared at Akaashi’s face as if he had shown up in full geisha get-up. 

“A what player?”

“Is this one a weirdo too?” sighed Konoha, stepping away from the doorway to let Akaashi pass by. “Akaashi-kun you’ve been around Bokuto too much.”

Shrugging, Akaashi made his way past the hallways riddled with students to the second years’ classrooms. 

If he did not practice with Bokuto, he would not be able to improve himself, which would directly affect the team. There was an incessant nag of responsibility which towered in the back of his mind. He was a setter. It was his duty.

All around him, various conversations blended together in the familiar white noise of lunchtime which-

“AKAASHI!”

Which was always broken by Bokuto.

At least he pronounced my name right , thought Keiji as heads turned towards him. Significantly less students were startled by Bokuto’s scream, since it was a daily occurrence. One thing they may never get used to is him bulldozing past anyone in his way to get to Keiji.

As he saw Bokuto with his flashing speckled silver hair approach him, Keiji’s mind began regressing to the conversation with his mother the previous night. Immediately, he felt an embarrassed flush creeping up his neck and he was quick in dismissing it. 

“Akaashi! I passed the literature test!” He cheered, shoving the papers into Akaashi’s face, forcing him to back away. Gathering them into his arms, he saw that Bokuto had gotten a little over ten marks above the passing grade.

“Aren’t I awesome?”

“Yes, Bokuto-san.”

“Maaann, could you be a little more excited sometimes?” He pouted as the spikes in his hair dipped towards the ground. “I really studied for this one.”

Sucking in a deep breath, Akaashi prepared himself to change his words, trying his hardest not to smile. 

“You did amazing, Bokuto-san.” 

It was quite incredible to watch the immediate effects of his words on Bokuto. 

“Hey! There you go, was that so hard?!”

“Incredibly.”

“Well, you just gotta get used to it.” He shrugged, tugging at the end of Akaashi’s shirtsleeve.

After the initial few mortifying weeks, he had gotten used to Bokuto’s idle touches. However they did not fail in initiating an excited flutter in his gut. 

The first time Bokuto had run at him from behind and thrown his arm over Akaashi’s shoulder, he had instinctively elbowed the loud boy in the ribs. Not to mention the self hatred which bloomed within Akaashi every time he flinched at Bokuto’s outreaching arm and the disheartened look on the older boy’s face afterwards. 

Keiji could not tell whether Bokuto’s ability to ignore sarcasm was a gift or a curse. “C’mon let’s go. I’m starving.”

Silently, Keiji allowed Bokuto to lead them to the scarcely occupied staircase where they usually ate lunch. 

“How did your other tests go, Bokuto-san?”

“Akaashiii…” He whined, leaning heavily onto Akaashi. “Can’t we talk about something else?”

“Oh? Did you not get good marks?”

“No!” Defended Bokuto. “Wait! Uh, I don’t really know how to answer that.”

Akaashi raised his eyebrow, and it took less than a second for Bokuto to relent. 

“Okay, I ALMOST failed maths.”

“Define, almost .”

“I got 47.”

Shocked, Akaashi could not help but stare at him as Bokuto pouted pitifully. 

Keiji had been so wrapped up by how good Bokuto was as a volleyball player, he had entirely forgotten to think about how he was at school work. Balancing work was so natural to him, he forgot to consider others had trouble doing so.

“Bokuto-san..”

“Yah, don’t tell me you think I’m dumb too!” Interrupted Bokuto, his hair beginning to fall limp. Even though there was no one around them, his words made the tips of Akaashi’s ears turn red.

“I- wasn’t going to say that!”

Taken aback, Bokuto went quiet for a moment, and Keiji could almost see the hostility leave his amber eyes. They really were quite peculiar. Akaashi could swear they seemed to be a lustrous gold when Bokuto was happy, but turned amber with his darkening moods. 

“Then, what were you gonna say?”

“I WAS going to ask you if you wanted to study maths w-”

“Wait, really?”

“Yeah..”

“You’d do that?”

“Well.. I mean…sure.”

Before Akaashi could do so much as blink, Bokuto threw his arms around him in a bone crushing hug. Within the two seconds the hug lasted, he felt the heat from his ears spread to his face, but he did not have the heart or the willpower to tell Bokuto to let go of him. Instead, to the best of his ability, he awkwardly patted his back, hoping he would loosen his arms enough to let him breathe.

“Thanks, Akaashi!” Grinned Bokuto as he pulled away, leaning on the steps behind them. “You’re a really good friend, y’know that?”

“It’s not that big a deal.” Shrugged Akaashi, grateful for the air entering his lungs.

“It kinda is though.”

Unsure of what to say, Keiji rummaged through his bag and pulled out his yakisoba bun and began nibbling on it. It was still difficult for him to make peace with the fact that he was actually friends with Bokuto.

Even back in middle school, he had never had many close friends. In fact, he was not close to anyone at all. He had an amicable relationship with everyone around him, and he was well liked by his classmates and teachers.

However, in the little time they had known each other, Akaashi found that he was closer to Bokuto than he was with anyone else.

In that aspect, he found it ridiculous that he was still nervous around him.

“So, do you want to study after we practice?”

“No offence Bokuto-san, but I won’t be able to help you with anything after practice.”

“You wanna skip out on practiceeeee?”

“Not the team one. Just the one we do afterwards.” reassured Akaashi. “Just a couple of times a week.”

“Once.” 

“Thrice.”

“Once.”

“Okay how about twice?”

“Ugh. Okay FINE.” Huffed Bokuto as he nudged Keiji with his hand.

“Promise you’ll stick with me?” He asked, sticking out his pinkie as he stared Keiji down with his luminous eyes. 

Akaashi’s heart skipped a beat as he intertwined his finger with Bokuto’s. However, he did not immediately let go, and pulled Keiji’s hand closer to him.

“Say it, Akaashi.”

“Yeah, Bokuto-san. Promise.” 

Breaking away, Bokuto returned to his lunch as if nothing had happened, leaving Akaashi to stare at him with a racing heart.

To calm himself, Keiji shook his head, scattering the chaotic tornado of thoughts brewing inside his skull. Shoving his food in his mouth, he took a few moments to slow down his heartbeat, trying to think about anything other than the boy next to him. 

“So, how about today?”
Choking on his rice, Bokuto set the food aside to glare at him.

“Already??”

“Sooner the better.” Smiled Akaashi, trying not to let it grow to show the abject happiness blooming in his brain.

“You’re killing me here.”

“Better me than your grades Bokuto-san.”

“Oh man, what happened to the nice Akaashi I met a couple of weeks ago?”

“You killed him from all that extra practice.”
Letting out a sigh, Bokuto finished the last of his food and leaned against the stairs behind them.

“I don’t like maths.”
“No one does Bokuto-san.”

-

“Thanks for practice!”

Echoing the phrase, Akaashi waved at the two second years leaving the gym. As always, after the cleaning was done, he and Bokuto were the last two left inside. Konoha no longer had to give him the keys because Akaashi had officially taken over the job of locking up the gym.

Spinning the keys on his finger, Akaashi made his way to the corner where Bokuto was sitting, apparently spacing off as he stared at the wall. However, knowing him, he was most likely thinking about a past game or another exercise for their practice the following day.

“Bokuto-san?” Asked Akaashi, gently tapping his shoulder. “Sha-”

“Oh Akaashi, I know what we gotta practice to-”
“Nope.” Interrupted Akaashi, shaking the keys in front of his face. He would never admit it, but it brought him a sadistic satisfaction in being able to dictate what Bokuto did. “Maths time.”

Grumbling under his breath, Bokuto’s hair immediately sank towards the ground as he gathered his things. “Can’t believe you’re making me skip practice.”

“Hey if you don’t pass your exams, you won’t get to play practice matches OR go for camps, Bokuto-san.”
Bokuto said nothing except for releasing a series of unintelligible groans as he picked up the last of his things. Petulantly walking out of the gym, he barely waited for Akaashi to lock the gym before walking out towards the school gate. 

“Hey, wait up Bokuto-san!”

Begrudgingly, he slowed down.

“You know you can’t run away just to be able to not do maths.”

“I figured it was worth a shot.” He shrugged, and Akaashi genuinely did not know if he was kidding or not.

“It can’t be THAT bad.” Smiled Akaashi nervously, stomach dropping as Bokuto looked at him pitifully, his spikes losing the strength to hold themselves up.

Half an hour later

“Okay so maybe it’s a little bad…” Said Akaashi, sifting through Bokuto’s maths notebook.

“Akaashi no you can’t say that! If you say that the-”

“Hey no, it’s fine we’ll start off slow. Don’t worry about it, Bokuto-san.”

“Yah, but if you said it-” 

“Forget I said anything.”

“But-”

Giving him a stare, Akaashi shut him down before he finished the sentence. He was scared to start a downward spiral that would leave them in a worse place than they were right now.

Instead, he tried distracting him. 

“Wow Bokuto-san, your house is pretty quiet.”

“Oh yeah, mom, Sora, and Hiroto are at work. It’s always pretty quiet.”

“You’re the youngest?”

“Oh, yup.” He answered absentmindedly, tapping the table with the rubber end of the pencil.

It fit, somewhat.

The image of Bokuto being the doted-on youngest was far more accurate than being an only child. Or an older sibling for that matter.

“What about you, Kaashi?”

Taken aback, Keiji blinked blankly at him. No one had ever called him by a name that wasn’t Akaashi aside from his parents.

“Oh, I’m an only child.”

“Wow! Doesn’t that get lonely?”

“Well, yeah…”

“Do you have a dog?”

“No.”

“A cat?”

“Nope.”

“No pets?!”

“I have a snake.”

“Wait, really?! Can I meet him?”

“Sure.” 

Resisting the urge to smile, Akaashi looked back down at the table.

The two of them were sitting on a low table in Bokuto’s living room. It seemed like Bokuto studied here often, since there was a mug with stationary, and many floor pillows around. There was also a snack tray, the contents of which Bokuto had brought out from the fridge before they had sat down. It also seemed like the perfect place for winter, since the table was a kotatsu , waiting to be switched on.

“Alright Bokuto-san how about we start with differentials?”

Sighing, Bokuto melted onto the table, his hair flattening limply and sweeping out like a mane before he straightened up and shook himself.

With his hair, he looked like a speckled owl ruffling his feathers and Akaashi had to resist the urge to touch.

“Okay fine.”

“Let’s start with the simple ones, and then I'll let you do them on your own. Remember I'm right here you can ask for help any time alright?”

“Alright.”

“I’m gonna be doing my work too, but don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Mhm.”

After explaining and helping Bokuto through the first few, Akaashi pulled out his own notebooks and began annotating the texts for the term. Most of the book’s margins were already sprawled with his tidy handwriting, but there was no harm in adding more.

However, he was not as concentrated as he usually was, since on the tray Bokuto had kept in front of him had a row of perfectly shaped onigiri. The rice was so glossy, he was practically salivating just by looking at it. 

Shaking the thoughts out of his mind, he forced his gaze from wandering off the book. Although he had heard many of his classmates whining about the task being boring, however for him it was quite enjoyable. Sometimes, it was jarring to see what all he had missed a few weeks or even days ago when he read the same texts again.

Just before he was about to go through the next one, he gave into the urge and sneaked an onigiri off the tray. For some reason, he felt as if he was stealing something.

Sneakily, Akaashi took a tentative bite off the top, and immediately suppressed the urge to wolf it down. There was a seemingly perfect balance between the rice and filling, and the sourness of the stuffing was complemented by both the texture and the sweetness of the rice. Even the onigiri his mother made did not match up to this.

After he finished the first, he grabbed a second before returning to his book, careful not to spill anything. 

He had gotten through the first and was in the middle of the second before he felt a tap on his arm.

“Akaashi?”

“Hm?” he asked without glancing up. 

“Do you really have a snake?”

“Sadly, no.”

“Wait, do you want one?”

“Do you have one for me, Bokuto-san?” Teased Akashi with a rare sparkle in his eyes. 

Taken aback, the tips of Bokuto’s ears turned pink as his luminous gold eyes flit back to his work. 

“No...”

“Then you should get back to work.”

Grumbling as he went back to being hunched over his work, Bokuto looked slightly comical. 

In Akaashi’s mind, Bokuto Koutaro belonged on a volleyball court. Seeing him sitting at a low table brows furrowed over calculus, he fought the strange urge to laugh.

“I do want a cat though, Bokuto-san.”

Although he didn’t laugh, he could not resist smiling as Bokuto immediately took the chance to abandon his work. 

“Why don’t you get one?”

“I’m not home enough to be able to take care of it.”

“Ah.. you don’t have siblings either, right. So it’s a… conundrum.”

For a moment, the both of them were utterly quiet, quizzically studying each other as they figured out what to say.

“Did I use that correctly?”
“Huh? Oh… uhm. Conundrum? Yeah you did, Bokuto-san.”

Proudly grinning, Bokuto hummed as he returned to his work.

Being around Bokuto was almost like a child.

In a way, he displayed almost every emotion on his face. At the same time, there was no way for Akaashi to tell what was going on in his mind.

Each time it felt like he learned a little bit more about him, he could not resist the itch to write it down so that he would never forget. It was like finding a piece of a puzzle which had been strewn around a cluttered room and he was trying to put it together.  

Absent-mindedly, he opened the last page of his small book, spreading open the blank page and making the blank space for a list. He did not give it a title, but he already knew what he was going to use it for.

-

After the first time, they met up routinely, with Akaashi consistently tracking Bokuto’s progress on weekends. 

However, before they knew it, the second round of tests was at their doorstep.

The change in Bokuto’s attitude was immediately noticeable. 

Where he once only let out a small groan of frustration, his entire body would reflect a profound expression that would leave him looking like a downtrodden prey animal.

The little list Akaashi had begun to make sometimes helped out with their study sessions. At other times, it only reminded Bokuto of all the volleyball practice he was missing out on and left him in a worse state.

As Akaashi was still learning to navigate the puzzle that was how to act with Bokuto, he found himself stressed out about tests for the first time since 4th grade.

What made it worse was that he could do nothing about it, since it wasn’t his own tests he was worried about. 

During their break, Akaashi pulled out the little poem book kept in the side pocket of his practice bag. Before anyone could come towards him, he quickly extended the list on the back to a number 24.
Needs favourite snack before games.

“Alright listen up!”

Jumping, he snapped the book close and shoved it into his bag before turning on his heel to look at their teacher.

Slowly quietening, the entire gym full of volleyball players watched coach Yamiji expectantly. There were still quite a few whispers behind Akaashi, but they quickly shut up with a stare from Shirofuku.

“As most of you are aware, the inter-high qualifiers begin next week. After which, we’re going to be having a week-long training camp with two other schools from the other districts of Tokyo. As usual, there will be students from Nekoma and Oginishi High.”

Surprised, Akaashi glanced at Bokuto, slightly jilted from not being told anything. However, Bokuto was preoccupied with staring at his water bottle.

“Now, participation in this camp does NOT depend on the results of the inter-high. But please remember this. You will need to get acceptable marks in ALL your subject tests.” He reminded them, glancing towards Bokuto. “And I mean ALL of them, to participate.”

No doubt catching on, nearly all their teammates looked at Bokuto.

Scratching nervously at his bottle, Akaashi furrowed his brows as Bokuto’s spikes began to fall towards the ground.

“If you fail any of them, the remedial date for the test is on the same day as the day of the first set of matches in the training camp, and you will not be able to participate.”

Clearing his throat, Akaashi drew all the staring eyes his way.

“Thank you for the reminder. We’ll keep it in mind, sir.”

“Alright then! Go on, clean up.”

As everyone shuffled away, Akaashi scuttled across the floor to Bokuto.

The older boy had gently begun biting his lip, and avoiding him entirely.

gently tapping the side of his arm.

“Bokuto-san?”

When there was no reply for more than a minute, Akaashi tapped his arm.

“Bokuto-san, don’t be worried. You’re gonna do fine.”
“What if I mess up again?”
“You know they’ll let you take a remedial test, you won’t miss the ENTIRE camp.”
“Yeah but Kuroo’s never gonna let me hear the end of it if I fail.”

“Kuroo?”
“Oh yeah. You’ll meet him at the practice games. He’s from Nekoma, he’s the same age as me. He’s really smart, but he’s not like you. He keeps teasing me about it.”

Frowning, Akaashi leaned forward, forcing Bokuto to look at him.

“Well, we’ve been studying together, so I’m sure you’ll do better this time Bokuto-san. He won’t have anything to say then.”

Watching him intently with his large lustrous gold eyes, Akaashi felt the tips of his ears turn red as Bokuto simply stared at him without saying anything.

Before the blush crept to his face, Akaashi averted his eyes, ready to get up. However, Bokuto grabbed his wrist, effectively keeping him in place.

“Hey, Akaashi?”
“Hm?”

“Can we study at your house today?”

Before he could think about what he was saying, his mouth moved faster than his brain.

“Oh yeah, of course. But I thought we were going to practise today.”

“I…I uh.”

Awkwardly tapping Bokuto’s hands, he gave him a tight smile, dread crawling into his limbs.

“It’s alright. We can go back to my place.”

-

Akaashi could not help but hope and pray that his mother was not home.

His father was easy to deal with, since he would probably be sitting with a book or working in his study. 

After the conversation with his mother, he was quite sure it would lead to a very embarrassing exchange which he did not want to go through.

Although when the two of them walked in, there were no shoes to indicate she was at home. Akaashi still crept quietly to the living room, repeatedly telling Bokuto to be quiet. 

Thankfully he did not question him.

It was not until they were sitting on the small living room table that Akaashi let him speak. Almost immediately, his loud voice pierced the silence of the house.

“Wow, your house is really quiet, Kaashi.”
“It’s like yours Bokuto-san. No one’s home yet.”
“When do they get home?”

“Not until a lot later. So plenty of time to work bef-”

Akaashi’s words stopped dead on his lips as he heard the front door open, and the familiar sound of his mother’s shoes on the wooden floor.

“Oi, Akaashi you-”

“Oh, Keiji, you're home!” exclaimed his mother, a large smile spread across her face which grew even wider as she noticed Bokuto beside him. “And you brought a friend!”

“Oka-san?! You’re home early.”

“And I am glad that I am! Who is this?”
“Oh this i-”

Beside him, Bokuto stumbled as he stood up and did an awkward half bow.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Bokuto Koutarou!”

Akaashi could swear that his mother’s eyes were gleaming more than the first time Akaashi brought home an award.

“Oh you’re Bokuto Koutaro! It’s really nice to meet you!” She beamed, bowing her head slightly. “What are you guys doing home so early? Don’t you usually have practise?”

“Oh uhm, we’re studying for the tests next week.”

“That’s great! I’m just going to freshen up. Let me know if you need anything, alright Kei-chan? Bokuto-kun?”

“Of course, oka-san. Thank you.”

Practically prancing away to the stairs, his mom left them alone to freshen up as Bokuto awkwardly walked back to the table.

As he sat down and scooted to sit beside him, he opened his mouth to say something but before that, Akaashi took the notebook from him and began scribbling down problems.

Ignoring his unwillingness to talk, Bokuto leaned closer to him, his arm pressing up entirely against Akaashi’s.

“Your oka-san seems really nice.”
“Uhm… well, she is.”

“Then why don’t you want me to talk to her, Akaashi?”
Taken aback, his hand clenched, breaking the lead of the pencil as he dug it into the paper.

“Uhm… Well. I don’t really want her to say something embarrassing.”

Quiet for a moment, Bokuto planted his chin on his hand and studied him so intently, Akaashi felt like shrinking away.

“Hey, Kaashi?”
“Yes Bokuto-san?”
“We’re friends, right?”

“Uh, I would say so.”
“And my oka-san talks to you all the time, doesn’t she?”
“Well you’re right, but-”

“Do you really think you did more embarrassing things than I did?”

Sometimes Akaashi really didn’t know how Bokuto could talk about things with a completely straight face. 

Not knowing how to answer that, Akaashi pushed the notebook towards Bokuto. 

“Let’s get to work.”

Puzzled, he turned away, quietly closing his mouth and began working on the problems.

For the first few minutes, Akaashi felt almost alright.

However as more time went by, his throat seemed to swell up the longer he kept quiet. Instead of scribbling down notes, his hand began peppering dots over the sides of the page. Soon after, his leg began its nervous tick, and he tried to keep it from brushing against Bokuto’s.

After seeing that Bokuto had made it through more than half of the page, he could no longer hold himself back.

“I’m sorry, Bokuto-san.”
“Huh? What are you sorry for?”
“I’m not used to my oka-san being around my friends.”

“Well, the only way you’ll get used to it is when it’ll keep happening.”

“You have a point.”
“I’m not used to it either though. I’ve never really had any friends who came over to my house. You’re the first one.”

Akaashi felt the tips of his ears grow hot, and he averted his eyes, tilting away from Bokuto. “Oh.”

“I think people find me weird.”
“Bo-Bokuto-san, you’re the first friend who has come over to my house too.” he admitted, risking looking back at him. “You might be weird but, I think you’re really cool.”
Bokuto’s face lit up immediately, and Akaashi felt his stomach turn.
“Thanks Akaashi.”

“You’re welcome Bokuto-san.”

“I think you’re really cool too.”

“Thank you.”

“No one’s ever helped me study before,” he admitted. “I didn’t want to trouble my oka-san and sisters.”

“That’s…”
“Pretty stupid?”

“Pretty considerate.”

“Really?”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah, but I think it makes them sad that I don’t ask them for help.”
“I think my mom and dad felt the same way. ‘Cause they were not around to help me that much with work either.”

“Oh…”

“Yeah, um… anyway so let’s get back to work, alright?”

“Okay, Akaashi.” he said in a little sing-song voice, far more cheerful than he was at practice.

While Bokuto was doing his work, Akaashi pulled out his own maths work to revise for his own tests.

The only breaks he took were to explain any doubts Bokuto brought up, but otherwise he left the older boy to his own devices.

From behind the translucent blue curtains, the sunlight was almost entirely gone before Bokuto spoke up again.

“You look a lot like your oka-san.”

“Bokuto-san is saying that because you haven’t seen my oto-san yet.” scoffed Akaashi. “Everyone says that when they see one of my parents. They get confused when they see both of them, since they can’t tell who I look like more.”

Contemplating for a moment, Bokuto shut his large amber eyes, brows furrowed as he was lost in deep thought. He seemed to be working harder thinking about this than for his tests.

“Hmm, no you definitely have her eyes.”

“How does Bokuto-san know I don’t have my oto-san’s eyes?”

Unnervingly, Bokuto chose that moment to open his eyes and train them onto Akaashi, making him feel like he was a deer caught in headlights.

“No, I’m pretty sure. I didn’t see your oka-san for too long, but her eyes are really pretty. They’re just like yours.”

Considering his love for languages, he would have thought he had something brilliant up his sleeve to reply to Bokuto’s comment.

However, all that came out of Akaashi’s mouth was an undignified “ uhm. Uh, you have pretty eyes too Bokuto-san…”
“Really?”

“They’re really-” cough, “-unique.”

“Someone told me I look like an owl.” said Bokuto abruptly, and Akaashi nearly choked on air. 

“Uh, a really nice owl though.”

“I think owls are weird.” he rebutted. 

“Well they’re definitely something .”

“Do you like owls, Akaashi?”

“Well, it depends on the owl honestly.”

Shrugging, Bokuto went back to his work. He was completely nonchalant, as if he had not just engaged Akaashi in what could possibly have been one of the weirdest conversations ever. 

“Bokuto-san it’s getting-“

Just as he was about to remind him of the time, his phone rang, jarringly loud, enough to make the two of them jump. Fumbling, the older boy reached for his phone, putting it to his ear. Even then the sound was loud enough to reach Akaashi.

“ Kou-chan, why aren’t you home yet?! ” demanded his mother. “ It’s getting late, your sisters and I are worried. ”
“‘Ka-san, it’s not that late yet!” whined Bokuto. “I’m just studying with Akaas-”

“ Oh, Keiji-kun? ” Chirped his mother, suddenly sounding much happier. “ Can I talk to him please? ”

“Uhm…” furrowing his brows, Bokuto tilted his head and glanced at Akaashi pleadingly.

“It’s alright Bokuto-san.” He reassured, gesturing for the phone and putting it on speaker.

“ Keiji-chan? ”
“Hello, Bokuto-san.”

“ What are you guys upto? ”
“Just revision.”

“ Oh right, your tests are coming up, right? I really do hope you do well. It’s been so nice that you took the time out to study with Kou. Thank you for that. ”
Feeling the tips of his ears grow red, Akaashi resolutely kept himself from looking towards Bokuto.

“It’s my pleasure, Bokuto-san.”

“ You’re such a little treasure .” she cooed. “ Is your oka-san around? ”
“Uhm..” 

As if waiting for her cue, Akaashi’s mother popped out of the kitchen, dinner tray in hand and skipped towards them.

“Oh, is that Koutaro-chan’s mom?”

“Uhm..” not knowing what to do, he glanced at his mother who reached out and took the phone from him. 

“ Is that your oka-san? ”

“Yes! Hello!” Chirped his mother, happily sauntering off making both their voices grow faint.

“Sorry about that…'' Said Bokuto sheepishly, a faint blush spread over his face. “My mom gets really excited when I talk about you.”

Rubbing the back of his neck absentmindedly Akaashi shut the book, since he knew he could no longer pay attention to it anyway.

“Mine too. Sorry, she just took your phone like that.”

“You don’t have to apologise for that Akaashi. It’s not like she’s taken it forever.”

“Yeah, uhm, of course not. But I do think you might be staying for dinner.”

“Oh?”

“Not just him! His mom and sisters are coming as well!” Cheered Akaashi’s mother, handing the phone back to Bokuto. “Oh this is so exciting, I’m going to go get everything ready.”

Chuckling nervously, Bokuto just stared at his phone and Akaashi gave him an awkward pat on the back.

“Don’t worry Bokuto-san, I’m sure it will be fine.”

-

One week later, Akaashi was just slipping his textbooks inside his bag when the door suddenly banged open, startling him and the others in the class.
“AKAASHI I PASSED!”

Despite himself, he felt a smile come to his face as he stood up, pulling his bag with him.

However what he was not prepared for was Bokuto hurtling towards him like a tornado, pushing people out of the way before pulling him into a bone crushing hug.

Not daring to move a muscle, he felt Bokuto’s spikes prickle the side of his neck as he put his head on Akaashi’s shoulder.

Out of the corner of his eyes, he could see people giving them weird looks, but Akaashi had gotten good at ignoring them. Instead, he awkwardly put his arm- which wasn’t trapped by Bokuto- around him too, patting his back since he didn’t really know what to do.

Aside from his parents, and mid-game team huddles, Bokuto was probably the first person outside of his family to hug him.

“Thank you so much Akaashi, seriously I don’t think I would have passed without you.”

“It’s no- You’re welcome Bokuto-san. Besides, I just helped you out, you did the work yourself.”

Pulling away, Bokuto grinned at him, throwing an arm over his shoulder before leading him out of the class and towards their usual lunch spot.

“Yeah, but I don’t think I would’ve been able to do the work without you helping me though.”
Not knowing what to say to that, Akaashi avoided meeting his eyes, nervously rubbing the palm of his hands as they reached the corner stairs.

“So, how much did you get this time Bokuto-san?”

“68.”

“Wow, I’m proud of you.”
“Hmm, that doesn’t sound very sincere.”
“I’m being completely honest!”
Giving Akaashi a crooked smile, Bokuto gently shoved his shoulder and Akaashi chuckled.

Perhaps Bokuto wasn’t entirely ignorant of sarcasm after all.

“No, but I’m glad that you did better this time, Bokuto-san.”

“I really couldn’t do it without you.”

After saying that, Bokuto went silent for a moment, taking a large bite out of his yakisoba bun. 

“Thanks for that, by the way.”

Feeling heat rise to his face he was quick to dismiss it. “It was nothing.”

“Oh! I almost forgot. Oka-san gave this for you!”

Rummaging through his bag, he pulled out a small cloth tote, handing it to Akaashi before biting back into his sandwich. Keiji opened it to find three perfectly shaped onigiri wrapped in green paper with a small note on top. 

Akaashi-chan

Thank you for taking time out to help Kou with his studies. Please enjoy the onigiri.

Keiji’s heart skipped a beat as he stared at Bokuto. From the window behind them, sunlight poured in like liquid gold, giving Bokuto’s hair an unearthly sheen. The arch of his eyebrows betrayed his confusion as his amber eyes tried to read Akaashi’s face, but could not gleen much.

“Bokuto-san, how does your mother know I like onigiri?”

Immediately the stress eroded and the easy smile returned to his face, gracing his features with a radiant light. 

“Are you kidding?” He chuckled, “You finish the onigiri every time you come over to help me. She started scolding me and telling me I was gonna get chubby but then I told her you ate them. My sisters keep teasing me about how you come over to eat the onigiri and not actually help me with stuff.” 

Fidgeting with the end of the note, Akaashi bit his bottom lip and ogled the perfectly shaped onigiri in the bag. To think such a small act of gratitude would render him speechless was something he had never prepared for.

“I… I wasn’t really expecting this Bokuto-san.”

“Hey but, it’s pretty nice, right? ‘Cause you like onigiri.”

“Your Oka-san didn’t have to do this.”

“Akaashi, you never have to gift people things. They're just gifts. Like, you didn’t have to help me out with math, and english, and literature an-”

“Okay!” Interrupted Akaashi, making Bokuto turn to him quizzically. “I get it.”

Narrowing his eyes, Bokuto studied him and shook his head ever so slightly. 

“No, I still don’t think you do.”

It was eerie how well Bokuto knew him sometimes. 

“I… I don’t know what to do. Or what to say.”

“Oh, hey! That’s the easy part. You eat the onigiri and you say thanks.”

Keiji could not, for the love of all things he held dear, figure out if Bokuto was being sarcastic. 

“If you put it that way, it’s pretty simple.”

“I wish math was like that…”

Biting back a smile, Akaashi, reverently took one of the rice balls out and began nibbling on it, savouring every single bite.

“Life isn’t always that simple though, Bokuto-san.”

“Yeah, it’s hard enough without you complicating the easy things too, Akaashi.”

For a moment, Keiji simply gawked at his straightforwardness, giddiness bubbling in his chest.

It was not as if he had made a joke, but for some reason, Keiji found the entire scenario incredibly hilarious. Unable to hold himself back, Keiji burst into laughter, leaving Bokuto speechless, left to do nothing but stare.

“It’s a bad habit, I know.”

“Well, habits can change, right? Pretty sure you’ll get there.”

Akaashi did nothing but let out a small hum of contentment, silently savouring the onigiri. It really was a guilty pleasure, for he knew he would not be able to eat so many of them if he did not play volleyball.

“Akaashi, You really gotta eat a little less onigiri.”

It was unsettling how spot on Bokuto’s guesses were sometimes. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“If you weren’t playing volleyball I bet you’d be so chubby.”

“Hmm.”

“Oya, why’re you so stubborn.”

“Bokuto-san you make me practice enough to burn more fat than I can get from a little onigiri.”

Pouting, he refused to acknowledge that, bringing a smile to Akaashi’s face. Keiji spoke little after that, letting Bokuto fill in the comfortable silence with words that always seemed to come easy with him. 

Each day, it got a little easier to speak beside him, in the face of someone who shines so bright, it took time for him to find his own place.

However, his light was not incessant for after all, even a star flickers on occasion.

Although it was not his job, Akaashi kept his own notes on their team’s enigma, the one and only Bokuto Koutaro.

Every flicker, every high, and its subsequent crash, he kept track of them all. Each time Akaashi thought he had finally figured them out, a new one would creep up on him. Bokuto seemed to be an endless series of questions, piled to make the biggest puzzle Akaashi had encountered. He was up to 36 weaknesses now, and was dreading the 37th whenever it decided to reveal itself.

Chapter Text

It hurt. 

Keiji could not point to where, but his entire being seemed to feel a thousand pinpricks of loss on his flesh. 

Akaashi had lost before, so why did it have to hurt so much?

He knew the coach was speaking to them, and he should probably pay attention. Akaashi could hear the words as if he were underwater, muffled by the azure currents whipping about in his mind, dulling his senses. It was a welcome distraction, for the gym was robbed of its familiar sounds of shoes squawking against the hardwood floors and his team horsing around. Instead, he knew even if he was able to listen to it, only gravely silence would embrace his ears.

Akaashi had thought being with a star player was a fail-safe for the team’s inability. An idol who dulls the ache of loss instead of amplifying it.

How wrong he had been.

Even after coach Yamiji dismissed them, Akaashi could not bring himself to move until Konoha nudged his shoulder. Each step seemed to take double the effort, guilt weighing heavily on his shoulders. As he passed by the table on which the water bottles sat, he was startled by a familiar voice seemingly speaking from the wall.

“Akaashi.” 

Puzzled, he leaned down and saw a familiar head with its drooping speckled spikes, and amber eyes staring back at him.

Had Akaashi not been weighed down by shame, the sight would have been endearing. However, at the moment he wanted nothing more than to shrink into himself and join Bokuto in hiding. Even if more introspection was counterproductive, he did not have the courage to attempt anything else. 

Before his thoughts could lead him astray once more, the pale gold eyes demanded nothing less than all his attention.

“Yes, Bokuto-san?”

“Practice spikes with me for just a ‘lil bit?”

Akaashi did not even have to think about it.

“Sure.”

That “sure” was a gateway to a surreal kind of practice. Each day, each moment, Bokuto unconsciously demanded everything Akaashi had to give for he himself gave nothing less than that. Watching and practising with Bokuto had the power to distort reality into a small bubble where nothing but the next pass, the next toss, or the next spike mattered. 

If Akaashi had thought he was someone who clung to a sense of duty, and even to the past on occasion, but Bokuto seemed to give those thoughts new meaning.

In the match with Kawahori High, just as Akaashi had predicted the first night on the train, Bokuto’s cross shots were gradually shut down entirely. Although they happened to be a well rounded team, he was the team’s ace, the go to player when the team needed to earn points. He could only imagine how powerless Bokuto must have felt with each block which threw his spike right back in his face.

For the first time he saw the amazing ace shut down entirely, and he felt like his mind and body had been shackled.

After that, the powerless feeling was not hard to empathise with.

That very night, he had squandered the night in coming up with strategies to combat it the next time it should appear. The day after that, he had gone individually to their team members to make sure they knew how to deal with Bokuto as well.

Now that he had spent a few months with him, although he knew Bokuto had a strong mentality in certain areas, when it came to others he was worse than a toddler.

Bokuto now practised line shots with a burning passion. Unlike Akaashi, he did not seem so utterly trodden upon, at least outwardly. There were occasional silences where Bokuto no longer filled the void, persuading Keiji to do so instead. On the train home, there would be moments where he had sunk so deep in his concentrated state, Akaashi could be speaking right beside him and he could not hear a word.

However, that changed significantly when they had their first practice game after their loss.

Since they were in a region with other schools, practice matches were a commonality unfamiliar to Akaashi. This match in particular was part of a weekend series at Shinzen High, and Bokuto was reunited with an old friend.

Bokuto had mentioned him a few times, but only in passing. One of the things Akaashi heard most often was the degree to which his blocking annoyed Bokuto. It seemed to be a motivating factor, but then again, Akaashi could not pinpoint it as the only reason Bokuto was determined to kill him from the amount of practice they did together. 

The school was not that far from his home, however Keiji chose to stay with the rest of the team for those two nights since it was an experience he had yet to explore. Almost as soon as they had stepped on the school’s grounds, Akaashi heard a deep and somewhat playful voice call out Bokuto’s name.

Turning towards it, he saw a boy taller than he, with black hair spiked messily upwards but a section covering his right eye. He was closer to Akaashi than Bokuto in his build, but his eyes held a mischief which belonged to neither of them. The red tracksuit he wore showed him belonging to Nekoma High. 

Trailing close behind him, there was a shorter boy with long hair which kissed his chin, bleached to a dark blond but the roots were beginning to be visible. He clung to a hand-held portable gaming system with a poorly hidden determination as he walked utterly immersed in his game.

Beside Akaashi, Bokuto’s shoulders seemed to lighten immensely, and he broke out into an easy smile.

“Ay, Bokuto! You grown any taller?” The tall boy called out playfully. 

“Oi you bastard, you asked me that this morning.” He complained, despite having a large smile plastered on his face. “Is that Kenma?”

“Ye- Oi, Kenma! I told you to put that away.” Scolded Kuroo, glaring at Kenma, who simply sighed and quit the game. Immediately Kuroo’s hands reached out for it and took it away from Kenma, leaving him pouting.

“Anyway, yeah this is Kozume Kenma, he’s the setter and a friend of mine. He’s a first year.” He shrugged, gesturing towards Akaashi. “And who might you be?”

“I’m Akaashi, nice to make your acquaintance, Kuroo-san.”

“Ah, Akaashi-kun? I think Bokuto’s mentioned you maybe uhhh… 400 times if I haven’t forgotten.”

Beside himself, Akaashi felt a blush make its way onto his face and he averted his eyes, his gaze finding a track similar to Kenma’s. 

“Oi, you talk about Kenma more than I talk about Akaashi!” Defended Bokuto, sticking his tongue out at Kuroo.

Out of the corner of his eye, Keiji could see Kozume was not doing much better than him. Signs of exasperation were already visible on his face, and Akaashi felt strangely comfortable with how openly he could understand him.

While Kuroo and Bokuto pulled ahead, Akaashi was left trailing behind the two of them with Kozume. They slowly began walking towards the building two hundred or so metres away, its windows blindingly reflecting the late afternoon sun. The school’s size was not that much larger than his own, but he knew unlike theirs, it contained dorms for students as well as teachers.

As Akaashi watched the two second years in their contrasting uniforms, he could not help but think that Bokuto was like the sun. Watching him walk beside Kuroo was like observing two stars twinkle in tandem in the velvety night sky. The two of them left Akaashi and Kozume as their moons. Not without their own beauty, but greatly appreciated when the light of their stars fell on them. I-

“Oi, Kenma! Don’t just stand there, talk to him!” Yelled Kuroo over his shoulder, gesturing towards Akaashi. “He’s a first year setter too. You’ve got so much in common!”

Akaashi could not avoid feeling that Kuroo spoke exactly like an aged aunt, pushing her children to socialise.

At the same moment, Akaashi and Kozume turned their gaze to find the same embarrassed exasperation on each other’s faces. Flushed, Kozume was the first to avert his eyes and stared resolutely at the ground in front of them.

Akaashi did not mind the comfortable silence with Kozume. He really did not. However there was a newly placed itch within him to open his mouth to make conversation.

“Kozume-san-”

“Kenma.” He whispered, his deep voice barely audible as he looked at Akaashi out of the corner of his eye. “Just call me Kenma. I don’t care about that stuff.”

“Sometimes, I wish I was comfortable enough to just throw it away.” He sighed, eyes flitting pointedly at Bokuto and Kozume’s lips twisted into a smile.

“Kuroo’s a pain in the ass for sure. Bokuto seems like him. Just… louder, I guess.”

“Well, ‘pain-in-the-ass’-san is as respectful a way to call them as any.” he offered, and Kozume’s smile grew.

Returning it with a small smile of his own, Akaashi held the door open after Kuroo and Bokuto stepped inside the building, letting Kozume go by him first. Immediately, they were hit with cool air conditioning which efficiently began drying the beads of sweat from their two minute walk.

The school was mostly deserted, only the students from the volleyball clubs invited were flitting around. It was a strange contrast to seeing the same uniform on each person during the day, but a welcome one.

They had walked about half the length of the corridor before taking the stairs up to the first floor, which soured Kozume’s expression as Kuroo led them to the rooms.

“Here ya go. Practice starts soon so get changed and get to the gym to warm up. Y’know the way Bokuto.”

Giving Bokuto a fist bump, he gave a light push to Kenma, brushing past Akaashi as they walked away. Confused as to why Kuroo had led them to a single door when there were more than ten of them, Akaashi was enlightened as the door opened to a large room big enough to house all of them except the managers and their coach.

Butterflies flitted around his stomach as he realised he would be sharing the space with the others, feeling simultaneously excited and anxious.

It did not help that he was generally a light sleeper. Pertubingly, he would awaken at the slightest noise. For Akaashi, it was a genuine source of concern as he glanced over his rowdy teammates. 

“Oya, Akaashi. Why’re you still standing there?” Called out Bokuto, already pulling out his elbow and knee pads. 

“Becoming one with the furniture, Bokuto-san.”

Akaashi knew sarcasm brushed off him like raindrops off an umbrella, yet it was still amusing to try.

As always, Bokuto did not even spare him a glance. 

“C’mon let’s get ready for practice. I wanna spike right through that dumbass Kuroo’s blocks.”

Right then, Akaashi was reminded of the unpleasant twist in his gut every time Bokuto’s hits were entirely shut down. Even though the rational part of his mind knew that would no longer be the case, the feeling was hard to dismiss.

Considering that this was the first round of matches of ANY kind in which Bokuto was testing out his straight spikes, it was not wrong of him to be nervous.

The thought gnawed away at him until the start of their first practice match.

If Akaashi had believed Bokuto was determined before, it was nothing in the face of the boy he saw standing before him. The golden heat from his aura had taken a steelier edge, as if the land around him was about to be struck by lightning. Although he should have been slightly terrified, it made him want to play with Bokuto even more.

Understandably, the whole team was on edge, and Akaashi even received a side eyed glance from Kozume and Kuroo, but he could only shrug.

In hindsight, he should have seen it coming.

After Kuroo figured out Bokuto’s new love for line shots, and ensuingly stuffed it, the entire team held its breath.

Even though he did not want to, Akaashi turned to look at Bokuto, whose broad shoulders had begun slouching. His tall and proud spikes now downtrodden and slowly sinking as if caught in invisible quicksand.

At the receiving end of panicked glares from the rest of them, Akaashi signalled to their coach for a timeout. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Kozume’s keen eye trained on Bokuto and his exasperated teammates. It was as if Akaashi could see the cogs turning in his keen mind.

Shaking his head to focus, Akaashi returned his gaze to Bokuto, whose speckled spikes seemed to have given up on rejecting gravity.

“Akaashi….” Whined Bokuto, immediately causing a rise in Akaashi’s heart rate.

“How did I hit cross shots again?”

Ah…

Number 37.

There it was.

All around him, his teammates began groaning, but Akaashi knew he had no time to waste.

Looking to the side, he saw Kozume’s eyes flitting towards them occasionally as he whispered to his teammates. 

He had already proven to be ingenious, overflowing with technique and strategy. If he could help it, Akaashi wanted to keep Bokuto’s weaknesses out-

No, that was exactly what would be expected of them. Their team had no shortage of hitters and defenders, and they had proven themselves strong whenever Bokuto crashed like this.

Bokuto would bounce back soon enough, Akaashi would just have to open up a spot for him. Till then the rest of them would keep it going. They had to.

With a small wave of his hand, he signalled his teammates to lean closer, letting Bokuto stay out of the little circle as he explained it to them. In the back, he could hear coach Yamiji lecturing him, but Akaashi did not have the luxury to pay attention. The only way this situation would get worse was if Bokuto assumed Akaashi did not believe in him.

Despite him being confident in his abilities, he could not help but be aware of the sweat creeping down his spine as he used his strategy for the first time.

The strategy itself was pretty simple honestly. 

He just had to ignore Bokuto long enough for him to get antsy.

The antsier he got, the better. That was Akaashi’s initial thought process. However, there was a limit which he accidentally crossed in the past, which had cost them a practice game. Akaashi just had to neglect him until he no longer slouched, but waited to hit in anticipation.

Saying it worked better than he expected it to would be an understatement. 

So well, that for the next three practice games and throughout dinner, Bokuto was in a highly cheerful mood.

Much to the annoyance of Kuroo Tetsuro.

Akaashi could not pay much attention to it after that since it turned out the bathrooms were common and it was leaving him in a state of panic. What made it worse, Bokuto chose to use one of the open showers. Akaashi had no choice but to avoid him until it was time to sleep since his face refused to cool down. Keiji knew if he saw anything more than the sliver of skin between his knee pads and shorts, he would be too distracted to think about anything else.

As he was spreading his futon, Bokuto immediately lay his right beside him.

“Hey, Akaashi, can I sleep with you?”

Eyes widening, Akaashi tried to hide his mortification as people beside them sniggered.

“Uh. Sure?”

Forcing himself to keep his eyes trained only on his futon, he pretended to fuss over every crease until the chatter around him diminished. Quietly, he pulled out his phone and began typing out a message to his mother since she would be expecting something from him before he went to bed. He could feel his bare hands and feet starting to freeze from the fallen temperature, but he paid it no mind.

Keiji allowed himself the occasional glance to the side, almost exclusively after Bokuto had turned towards the wall on their right. However those slim chances were not enough for Akaashi to figure out whether he had truly gone to sleep or not 

Although it was late, it truly became quiet after their coach thundered down the hallway, completely non-threatening, with a terrifying Shirofuku in tow. Akaashi simply put his phone below the blanket and pretended to continue straightening out his blanket until they left. 

Not wanting to be caught out of bed, there was a chaotic scramble as the entire team shoved themselves into their blankets. Poorly hidden cards and Nintendo DS’s poked out at odd angles from others’ blankets. There was the slimmest trace of an occasional whisper in the room, but it was quick to fade away.

When enough time had passed, with caution Keiji risked a glance to the side, only to let out an undignified sound of disbelief.

Beside him, with a content smile slapped on his face, Bokuto Koutaro was fast asleep. 

Keiji could have sworn he had last glanced at Bokuto not five minutes ago. Falling asleep this fast could not be considered anything less than a talent.

Internally biting back a smile, Akaashi crawled into his futon, bundling himself up with the blanket. He could not be more thankful at that moment for how warm the blanket was as heat returned to his frozen limbs. However the comfort soon faded away, for try as he might, Keiji simply could not fall asleep. 

Even though he could feel the heavy, comforting weight of the blanket, it did nothing to warm his frostbitten hands and feet. A looming pit gnawed away at his stomach but there was no clear source of anxiety for him to pinpoint.

Living in a similar region, he was used to the crickets chirping outside the window, even the sliver of silver moonlight dripping through the drapes. The creak of his ceiling fan was replaced by the desynchronised breathing of his teammates, but it was still strangely comforting.

Yet somehow, the root of Akaashi being unsettled remained elusive.

“ Okay, calm down. ” He whispered to himself. However it was the equivalent of attempting to put the lid of a small pot over a vat of boiling water.

Instead of staring at the uniform plaster on the ceiling, Akaashi clamped his eyes shut and twisted to the side. He fought back a shiver as he moved to a cooler spot in his futon. Internally chastising himself on how he was feeling cold in the middle of the summer, he curled into himself to glean every bit of warmth his body could offer.

What reason could there even be for his mind to be moving at a hundred kilometres an hour even after his entire body screamed for rest. The utter betraya-

FLUMP.

Akaashi’s thoughts were brought to a staggering halt as all the air was knocked out of his lungs. The blanket suddenly weighed like an elephant had collapsed onto him as something heavy laid over Keiji’s torso.

Opening his eyes, he found Bokuto’s serene sleeping face barely inches away.

So much for keeping distance. 

The room became far too loud as Akaashi’s heartbeat thundered in his ears. Suddenly, the futon became an underground magma chamber for a very active volcano. Sweat trickled down his face as he felt every inch of his body burning. 

Too close. Bokuto was far too close. With ease, Akaashi could smell the scent of his shampoo which was suspiciously like wild berries. Even in the dark, he could see the pattern of the pillowcase pressed onto the fair skin of Bokuto’s face. The speckled silver strands of his hair were strewn haphazardly, fanning around his face in a chaotic ring. 

Try as he might, Akaashi could not manoeuvre himself to get his heavy arm off without the risk of awakening Bokuto. Even then, he tried to wiggle out the best he could, but got close to suffocation when Bokuto’s arm shifted right onto his throat.

Clinging to the desire to live, he shifted a little closer to alleviate the heaviest weight off his lungs and forced himself to shut his eyes. Akaashi did not trust himself on getting sleep if he kept his eyes open since he knew, one way or another they would fall on Bokuto. 

Sucking in a deep breath, he tried to calm his heart rate. Bokuto did not help in the slightest, continuing to crawl closer until he was nearly pressed against Akaashi.

At least with every brain cell in his mind being mid-scream he did not have to worry about his thoughts going astray.

Funnily enough, with his entire body in a state of panic, he felt strangely calm. Beside him, Bokuto radiated warmth like Akaashi’s own personal heater. After a moment’s assessment, he realised his limbs had been rescued from the permafrost but no longer felt as if they were aflame.

Since his eyes were already closed, Akaashi could not remember when he finally drifted off into sleep. However, one thing he will never forget is being shaken awake by a grinning Shirofuku and giggling teammates as they loomed above him.

For a moment, Keiji could not figure out what was so amusing. He was quickly reminded as Bokuto shot up beside him, his arm lifting off Akaashi’s torso, leaving him feeling strangely hollow.

For a moment, his eyes met Bokuto’s and he felt Akaashi face heat up as he watched a rush of blood creep up Koutaro’s face. 

Fumbling with his blanket, Keiji shot up, grabbing his uniform and immediately changing, purposefully ignoring the smug looks of his teammates. For the first time in many months, Akaashi ate by himself, shoving his food into his mouth without really chewing, thinking only of escape.

Unable to clear his mind, Keiji could not meet Bokuto’s eyes for the rest of the day. However he could not go so far as to ignore him, for he would surely fall into one of his moods, which would benefit no one.

For some reason, ignoring him when he was already in a mood helped him bounce back, but ignoring him when he was normal would just make him perform worse.

After Akaashi spent lunch and dinner in a similar fashion, he wandered the permissible area in the school, seeking solitude. Eventually he reached an alcove, similar to the area he and Bokuto shared during lunchtime at their own school. Although no one was seemingly around, he heard the familiar beeps and clicks which he recognised from a Nintendo DS.

Quietly peeking over the railing, nestled deep within the corner, Kozume furtively tapped away at his game. His smaller frame was tucked into himself, barely visible amongst the shadows. The same determination from volleyball followed him here. Unkempt blond strands fell on his face, his delicate brows ever slightly knitted in concentration.

It felt like a crime to disturb him. 

“K-kozume-san?”

Kenma jumped, and Akaashi could have sworn that some of his hair stood up, just like a cat’s. The deft fingers which were once flying over the controls had slipped and Akaashi saw the “game over” screen become visible.

Letting out the smallest of sighs, Kozume tore his eyes away from the DS and glanced upwards at Keiji’s inquisitive face. The light from his still shining DS illuminated his face, making him look paler than he truly was. With the absence of other light to ease his gaze, the piercing glow hurt his eyes as he looked down at Kozume. 

“Akaashi?”

“Could I sit with you?”

Panickingly, Kozume glanced around, ready to hide his DS. “Kuroo and Bokuto aren’t here, right?”

“No.. it's just me.”

“Oh…” Visibly relaxing, Kozume shuffled a little more into the corner, even though there was plenty of space for Akaashi already.  “Uh, yeah you can sit with me.” 

Climbing down the last flight of stairs, he quietly shuffled towards Kozume, fingers fidgeting of their own accord. Butterflies flitted around in his stomach, making him regret the way he forgot to chew his food. The sensation was utterly unsettling, making him want to squirm involuntarily.

Glancing to his side, he realised Kozume was still fiddling with the buttons on his DS, even though he had not begun a new game. Astonishingly, while Akaashi carried a thin jacket, Kozume was barefoot, his slim toes wiggling in tandem with his fingers.

“Aren’t you cold, Kozume-san?”

Sighing, he set his DS aside and cupped his hands over his feet. It was a good few seconds before he spoke, and even then it was a whisper low enough that Akaashi barely caught it.

“Maybe a little…” 

Without much thought, he handed his slightly rumpled jacket over to Kozume, who blinked at him as Keiji draped it over his folded legs.

“You’re still gonna call me Kozume, aren’t you?”

“It’s hard to break out of old habits. I know it doesn’t matter much to you, but it’s pretty comfortable for me.”

“Up to you.” He shrugged. “I don’t really mind either way.”

“So, you call Kuroo-san, just… Kuroo then?”

“Yeah.”

“Did he take time to get used to it?”

“We’ve been friends for a long time. He didn’t really say anything to me from the beginning actually.”

“He calls you Kenma, but you don’t call him Tetsuro?” Pointed out Akaashi, and Kozume tucked his legs in closer. It was too dark to be sure, but Keiji was sure there was a blush creeping up Kozume’s pale skin as he did nothing but shrug. 

Deciding not to pursue the matter, Akaashi changed the subject.

“So, uh, what were you playing?”

“Oh. It’s a new game Kuroo got for me a while ago. It was kinda fun so…”

“You seem like you’ve played a lot of video games.” Pointed out Akaashi, earning a modest shrug. “Do you have a favourite?”

“I… favourite game… only one?” Whispered Kozume, eyebrows knitting together as he got lost in his thoughts. However, a moment later, his demeanour changed as if Akaashi had pressed a hot iron to his forehead as he cupped it seemingly in an attempt to hold on to his sanity.

“Uh, you don’t have to choose one if you don’t want to.”

“It’s not like I don’t want to. can’t you gimme a genre or something? I can’t just give a favourite game. There’s so many things to consider.”

Taken aback at the sudden seriousness, it was Akaashi’s turn to blink blankly back at him. 

“Uhh, I don’t really know enough about games to ask stuff like that.”

Letting out a small huff, Kozume stayed silent, and Akaashi felt a tinge of sympathy which forced him to change the subject.

“Why did you start playing volleyball, Kozume-san?”

His expression softened a little, which was an improve

“Kuroo.”

Akaashi waited for a moment for him to elaborate, but when Kozume made no indication of doing so, he probed a bit further.

“…Kuroo-san made you play?”

“He said I could play as the setter. And that I wouldn’t have to move much. He lied though.”

Biting back a smile, Akaashi tucked his legs in like Kozume, resting his chin on his knees.

“Do you like playing volleyball?”

Kenma paused for a moment, seemingly taking his time to consider his answer.

“I don’t hate it.”

“I take it you’re not one for extra practice, then?”

Shuddering at the thought, Kozume shook his head lightly, making the golden strands of his hair dance in the dim light.

“I don’t get why you guys wanna practise even more. Isn’t it tiring enough to practise all day that you wanna do it outside of the matches too?”

Pouting ever so slightly, Kenma glanced towards him expectantly, and Akaashi could only shrug.

“You keep practising with Bokuto.”

“No one else practices with him.”

“Doesn’t mean that you have to though.”

“Well, you’re not wrong.” Chuckled Akaashi, making Kozume’s face soften. “But I don’t have anything half as interesting to fill that time.”

“Bokuto is… well he’s different. Definitely interesting though.”

“It seems like you like the challenge.” He pointed out, remembering the unique determination on Kozume’s face which he had noticed during their practice game.

“It’s like… levelling up, y’know. In a video game?”

“Bokuto-san’s the final boss for you to kill?”

“More like an interesting side quest.” He smiled softly, no doubt pleased at how quickly Akaashi accepted his allusion.

“Ah, how presumptuous of me.” Admitted Akaashi, only partly joking. 

Kozume simply shrugged.

“Doesn’t mean I’ll take a crack at him all the time though. I’m not like one of those video game characters. I get tired. Even if Kuroo kept bothering me to practise with him I wouldn’t do it. I don’t know how you just agree to it.”

“Well… even if it’s tiring, there’s something motivating about him. It makes me want to see where he goes.”

Deliberating for a moment, Kozume’s gaze became focused on some distant point on the opposite wall. Beneath the fabric of his jacket, Keiji could see the smaller boy’s toes wiggling as he was lost in his thoughts.

It took him a few more moments of stripping the wall bare of its secrets before he turned back towards Keiji and said,  “You’re pretty different too, Akaashi.”

Although it would not seem so, from Kenma the words seemed nothing short of a compliment.

Sharing a small smile between the two of them, Akaashi picked at the skin of his palm, unsure of what to say. However, before he had a chance to dwell on that any longer, they heard a door leading to the staircase crash open. Thumps of heavy footsteps belonging to two people bounced off the walls along with indistinguishable whispers. The words may not have been decipherable, but the voices certainly were, which made cold dread creep down Keiji’s spine. 

“Kenmaaa?! Kenma! You better be here!”

Growing pale, Kozume shrunk into himself as the footsteps grew closer. If Akaashi was being entirely honest, he wanted nothing more than to join him. Avoiding Bokuto had been going so well, a little too well, and now it had turned and backed him into a corner. Quite literally.

“Kenmaaa come outt. Pleaase?” Cooed Kuroo, his worried face appearing above the railing towering over the two of them. Unlike Bokuto, his spiked tresses did not stay in place and ringed his head like a porcupine, and Akaashi could actually see his right eye for once. It took away the some of the smugness, leaving him looking younger than his 17 years as he grinned at them. 

Beside him, Kozume glanced upwards and stuck out his tongue as Kuroo dangled his shoes above the two of them. Like a bird poking its head out of a nest to see, Bokuto’s speckled hair and golden eyes took their place beside Kuroo.

His furrowed eyebrows eased, releasing the creases from his face as his eyes met Akaashi’s. It was an expression of profound relief, enough to make Keiji feel the cold curtain of guilt settling on his shoulders.

“Akaashi! You’re here too?! I’ve been looking for you too y’know!” He pouted. “You’ve been avoiding me all day.”

“I-I’m sorry for troubling you, Bokuto-san.” Stammared Keiji, ignoring the latter part of Bokuto’s outburst. At least in front of Kuroo and Kozume.

Forehead creasing at his reply, Bokuto tugged Kuroo and the two clambered down the stairs.

With a sigh, Kozume stood up, slipping off Akaashi’s jacket and handing it back to him just before the two of them arrived. 

“Kenmaaaa, you forgot your shoes. Aren’t ya cold?” Cooed Kuroo, dangling the shoes in front of both of them. 

Grabbing his DS off the floor, Kenma wordlessly took the indoor shoes from Kuroo and slipped them on. 

Akaashi could not help but notice that despite Kuroo being quite comfortable with Bokuto’s idle touches, he was quite reluctant when it came to sharing those with Kenma. However, he walked closer than what would normally be expected between friends, and Kozume who was seemingly stringent over matters of personal space did not object.

Surprisingly enough, Bokuto, who did not usually care for Akaashi’s inhibitions, kept his distance. Despite the pleasure he usually felt on having his space respected, Keiji could not help but feel a little slighted.

Even after the successes of the day, Bokuto’s spikes seemed to be tipping towards the ground, as if the effort to resist gravity was posing to be far too bothersome. The sight caused an unconvincing chant of, “ it’s not my fault it's not my fault” in Akaashi’s mind.

When they climbed back up to their floor, the hallways were nearly deserted. On the way to their room, he glanced at the clock which was hung on the grey wall near the entrance to see it was almost 9:30. 

“Man, Akaashi, if we were any later we were gonna be in so much trouble.” Frowned Bokuto, quickly stifling a yawn afterwards.

“I’m sorry, Bokuto-san.” Murmured Akaashi, far quieter than he usually was, yet still loud enough for Kuroo to hear.

“Damn, Kenma you should learn something from him y’know? Look at how nice he is.”

Half-heartedly glaring at Kuroo, Kozume stuck out his tongue.

The two of them walked past the room given to Fukurodani, bidding them a quiet goodbye. Silently, Akaashi tore his eyes away from the two of them and focused instead on avoiding various body parts as he made his way back to his spot from last night. In a sinister fashion, the entire team had left their spot empty.

After Bokuto laid over his futon, Akaashi hesitated for a moment, only to internally chastise himself. Determined not to make it into something bigger than it seemed, Akaashi rolled out his futon and slipped inside without much delay.

Just as he had shut his eyes, he felt a light tap in the middle of his shoulder blades.

“Akaashi?” Asked Bokuto, no doubt trying his hardest to whisper.

Unwilling to be the source of awakening the entire team out of his own embarrassment, Akaashi rolled onto his other side. Bokuto’s wide amber eyes were glowing with anticipation as he watched Keiji closely, trying to get an answer before Akaashi even spoke.

“Yeah, Bokuto-san?”

“Are you mad at me?”

Blinking blankly, Akaashi was taken aback.

“About what, Bokuto-san?”

“About… about last night.” He asked gingerly, hiding part of his face behind his blanket, causing his words to be muffled.

Akaashi could not make up his mind whether he wanted to slap himself first or shake Bokuto’s thick-headedness out of him. 

“So… are you mad at me?”

“I’m not angry, Bokuto-san… I-I’m just a little embarrassed, I guess.” He admitted, fingers playing with the edge of the blanket. “I’m not used to sleeping beside someone.”

Brows furrowing together, Bokuto blinked at him, wide eyed as an owl. Akaashi brushed away the desire to pet the feathery spikes on his hair.

“So… you’re not mad, right?”

“No.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay and, hypothetically, if that happened again. Would you be angry?”

“No, I won’t be angry, Bokuto-san.” He reassured him quickly. 

A little too quickly.

“Don’t worry about it.”

Audibly breathing out a sigh of relief, Bokuto’s face poked out of the blanket once more.

“Akaashi, did I use that right?”

“Hypothetically?” Asked Akaashi, earning a small but excited nod. “Yeah, you did, Bokuto-san.”

Smiling behind the cover of his blanket, he did not turn to face away from Bokuto, instead he closed his eyes as he were.

Having escaped from the tumultuous quest of avoiding Bokuto, all of his muscles finally seemed to be able to relax. However, the tiredness and soreness of both days of gruelling practice began to seep in. Each muscle in his legs and shoulders seemed to burn with a different intensity.

Well, at least he was not cold today.

Tonight too, it seemed to take hours till he felt the tug of sleep on the back of his eyelids. However, just before he slipped into his dreams, he felt Bokuto shift beside him.

Luckily, he knew Koutaro had long since fallen asleep with his unnatural but enviable talent. Therefore, it was definitely just him moving in his sleep, but Akaashi still tensed. A queer sensation crawled up his spine, and he fought the strange urge to squirm from the fluttering in his stomach. 

Unlike before, this time his hand simply came close enough to brush against Akaashi’s, which was tightly clenched onto the soft blanket. The feeling of his warm skin against the back of his hand surprisingly made Akaashi relinquish his iron grip.

Even though he knew it was not plausible, the tired ache in his body seemed to lessen slightly. As if afraid the warmth would move away, Keiji’s hand shifted of its own accord, pressing itself against Bokuto’s.

Akaashi did not know why, but he fought against the protests of his tired body and opened his eyes.

Right across from him, Bokuto’s topaz eyes stared back at him, glowing with an indecipherable mosaic of emotions. The silvery moonlight only made their lamp-like glow harder to ignore.

Unsure of what to say, Akaashi’s lips remained sealed. Giving Bokuto a small smile, he shut his eyes once more, fighting the sudden flood of giddiness which threatened to make him grin like a fool.

Chapter Text

After they made it to nationals, Bokuto’s mood swings seemed to get a little more manageable. Enough so, that he was almost the best Akaashi had ever seen him. Well, it was more that he met people who pushed him to play his best, and he ended up immersing himself in the game to the point where other things did not matter.

Despite being only in his second year, the team considered giving him the chance to attack as their best possible strategy, even though there were third years with more experience.

For some reason, they seemed to also think that it was the best possible strategy to make Bokuto captain.

Or they were just playing a very elaborate prank on Akaashi.

Well, it was not as if Akaashi did not believe in Bokuto. If anything he was probably the one who believed in him the most. However, Bokuto’s leadership had to do more with his influential aura rather than actual leadership.

However it came as no shock to him when Kuroo became the captain for his own team, which he found out through Kozume. Irrefutably, he was somewhat like a ruffian leader more than anything, he got the job done. From what he had seen, the other third years, Yaku who was a libero could not be captain, and Kai was more of a go-with-the-flow guy instead of someone who actively initiated things. Kuroo was the only choice for them, and he happened to be a good one. He was a well balanced player, whose defence was infallible and offensive strategies rivalling those of Kozume.

Although Akaashi would confidently bet that much of the way he perceived matches had changed drastically after he had gotten Kozume into volleyball.

One of these days he was hoping to rub off a little on Bokuto as well.

The first day after they returned to the gym with the third years gone from the team, the two of them were sitting in the gym after their daily morning practice rounds before the others arrived.

With their backs against the wall with the gym door, it would be difficult to see if anyone came in without turning their heads. However, it did not matter much since they always announced their arrival.

After their first camp together, it seemed the rest of them seemed to take extra care in making their presence known if Bokuto and Akaashi were together.

Not that Akaashi minded.

It was not as if he had a problem with being around people, but something had changed within the last year.

Only recently, when he was sitting alone at his table at home, studying for their final exams, did he take notice of the silence around him. Seemingly, he had taken Bokuto’s presence for granted enough to realise he did not actually find comfort in the silence, and only found it suffocating. More than once, he continued to catch himself stealing glances towards the side of the table where Bokuto usually sat, and avoided checking his phone or calling him.

It was so unlike him.

What was wrong with him?

Only a few months ago he did everything alone, and suddenly even sitting by a table had become difficult without Bokuto.

What was more astonishing is that he no longer shied away from when Bokuto touched him. It had actually become quite comforting. By now, Akaashi knew how the ends of Bokuto’s hair prickled the skin on his neck when he put his head on Keiji. For some reason, his skin was almost always a higher temperature than Akaashi’s.

However, the increased exposure to idle touches wasn’t the only thing on his mind. It was also the fact that he now found himself looking forward to them. Especially Bokuto’s hugs.

Considering Bokuto was the youngest with two older sisters, it should be no surprise he was doted on, especially in terms of affection.

For Akaashi on the other hand, affection was not something present in his life each day. It used to be like a special gift exchanged on specific occasions.

Most of Akaashi’s childhood had been with him by himself. By the time his parents used to get home from work, usually Akaashi was already in bed, or even asleep. As he got older, there seemed to be a wall too tall to climb and too thick to break through between him and his parents. In the spur of the moment, if anyone were to ask him who he would want a hug from, it would definitely not be his parents.

There was also the small fact that he mostly liked being hugged by Bokuto simply because he was a little taller, and a lot bulkier. Although it had only happened twice, his hugs were the kind you could get lost in.

Shaking his head to rid himself of his thoughts, he swept his hair back from his forehead, bracing it against the wall. Quietly, he took the opportunity to enjoy the small period of Bokuto’s loud silence.

Even when he did not say anything, his presence seemed to find a way to make itself known. He sometimes sat so still, just as he was right now, that it seemed like he was frozen in time. It was almost as if he was captured in a painting, but Akaashi knew nothing human could even mimic a hundredth of Bokuto.

“Say, Akaashi?”

Nearly jumping when Bokuto spoke up, he cleared the jitters from his hands by wiping his face with the towel.

“Hm?”
“Why are you always so nice to me?”
Not expecting the question, he was taken aback.

“Uhhh…” 

“I bet you’re thinking of a way to say something nicely to me again.”
“Well..”

Huffing as his voice grew more insistent, Bokuto finally turned his way. In the mornings, when he was filled to the brim with energy, his eyes were glowing as bright as the golden sun.
“C’mon, I’ve seen the way you talk to other people, you can be honest with me too.” he said petulantly, and Akaashi decided to play along, unable to hold back a small smile.
“Are you sure about that Bokuto-san?”
“Yah, don’t make that smug face. Of course I can! I’m the ace of the team, you think I can’t take some honesty from you?”
“Well if you say so.”
“Okay, so why’re you so nice to me?”
“Well because…”
“Akaashi! You’re doing it again.”
“Okay okay, alright. Well I’m worried if I say something honestly to you, especially while we’re playing volleyball, you’ll think too much about it.”
“Oh?”

“I’d rather just support you, especially during matches.”
“Tsk. That won’t work, you gotta be honest with me, Akaashi.”
“Alright Bokuto-san. Guess my new year’s resolution will be to speak only honestly with you.”
“New years? But it’s April.”
“Well, what can I do? You decided to address this three months late.”
“Hey! You being nice to me isn’t something I wanted to stop.”
“Why bring it up now, then?”
“‘Cause I feel like you’re not being yourself around me.”

“Hm, is that what you truly want then?”
“Well, you should still compliment me and all, but… yeah.”
“I see..”

“So Akaashi, what do you think about me making it to the top 5 five aces of the country?”
“You couldn’t make it to the top 3?”

Instantly, Bokuto’s face took a dark turn and Akaashi’s first instinct was to panic, but he fo-

“Man, you’re so brutal right off the bat!”

Incredulous, Akaashi stared at Bokuto wordlessly, fighting the urge to laugh.

No doubt confused, he looked at Keiji with a baffled expression.

Akaashi was doing great for the first two seconds, but lost it when Bokuto tilted his head.

When Keiji looked back at him, Bokuto continued to look at him without saying anything, making him suddenly conscious.

“Is something wrong?”

“N-Nothing!” He yelped, whipping his head back to look straight ahead. “Hey! It’s not funny! I’m working hard, you know! My line shots just became useful ‘cause of you, i’ll be number 1 next time!”

Instantly the humour died from Akaashi’s mind.

“Bokuto-san there isn’t a next time for you now.”
“Aah, I kinda forgot about that…” groaned Bokuto, stretching as he looked towards the rafters in the ceiling before continuing wistfully, “Well, then I guess we better make this one count, right?”

For some reason, Akaashi felt his eyes burn, and he knew it was not the sweat falling in them that caused it.

“O-of course. I’ll do my best Bokuto-san.”
Just then, Bokuto looked back towards him with a wide smile on his face, but eyes burning with a desire that could only be described as animalistic.

“Let’s go win ‘em all.”
Before he could answer, Konoha and Tashio walked in, announcing their names which echoed in the loud gym before nodding their way.

For the next hour, he and Bokuto did not talk much, even after they stood in line together when the coach announced he would be distributing their new uniforms with the updated numbers.

Akaashi had gone from 7 to 5, and Bokuto from 4 to 1, with a bold band beneath the large number.

Although he may not have been that excited for his own number, he found his gaze jumping back to Bokuto, knowing he would like the brand of captaincy. Defying everyone’s expectations however, Bokuto’s face darkened at seeing the new jersey and he immediately walked back toward their coach.

“Coach-san.”
“Yes, Bokuto?”
Stretching out his arms, he held out the folded clothes towards their coach and bowed in apology.

“I’m sorry but please give my old number back.”

Silence fell across the gym.

Considering how Bokuto seemed to be utterly driven to prove himself as the team’s ‘ace’, they had all thought number 1 would have been apt.
“Oh? You don’t want number 1?”

“I want to keep 4.” 

“Er..” Frazzled, the coach took the jersey from his hands and watched as he walked back towards Akaashi. 

Clearly, they were expecting more of an explanation, but Bokuto refused to say anything more about it.

While everyone else walked out of the gym, jerseys carefully placed within their bags, Bokuto was empty handed. At this point, Akaashi was surprised he had not fallen into one of his moods about not having a jersey, but at the same time, it was his own doing so it was unlikely he would.
Although he knew that- No, there was no guarantee that if he did not ask now that Bokuto would ever tell him the reason out of his own volition. This was probably the best opportunity, so he could definitely not let it go to waste.

Unable to stifle his own curiosity, Akaashi decided to question him about it just as they were out of earshot.

“Bokuto-san?”
“Hm?”
“Why be number 4 again? Isn’t it more fitting for a captain to be number 1?”
Looking towards him, Bokuto’s glimmering curious eyes- as always -caught him off guard.

“Is it a rule that I gotta be 1 though?”
“Well, no. I just thought you would like it.”
“I like being number 1, but this time I wanna keep 4.”

“But, why?”

Chuckling, Bokuto stretched out his arms before folding them behind his head just before halting midstep.

“Akaashi, you’re number 5 right?”
Freezing in place, Akaashi’s heart skipped a beat.

Of all the reasons, he did not expect to be one.

He did not know whether to be flattered, or whether he wanted to slap Bokuto for being able to say such things so easily.

“R-right.”
Glancing towards him out of the corner of his eye, Bokuto’s lips curled into one of the widest smiles Akaashi had seen yet.

“Well, since we won’t be on the same team after this year, I kinda just wanted the number next to yours.”

Taken aback, Akaashi stood like a gaping fish, mouth opening and closing as he tried to figure out what to say.

“You and I are always gonna be a team, right? I didn’t feel like being number 1 if you weren’t number 2.”

Of course there were a number of teasing remarks in Akaashi’s brain for this particular instance, however his body did not comply in using any of them. It seemed today it was on Bokuto’s side, and he was fighting a losing battle on two fronts instead of only one.

“Bokuto-san…”

Just as he was about to continue, the morning bell rang, and the longer he stood the more he dreaded being late.

As for Bokuto, he needed to be in the good graces of the teachers since his marks weren’t the greatest and he was integral for out of school games.

Therefore, without another explanation, Bokuto gave him a small chuckle and walked off to his class, leaving Akaashi staring at his receding figure.

Although the two of them had teetered on some invisible seesaw for a while, it seemed it was this incident that tipped it entirely in favour of Bokuto.

Akaashi knew he had built this image of Bokuto as a distant, radiant star. In theory that was something unattainable, simply a wonder of nature to marvel at.

However, that one conversation may not have taken away his radiance, but it did seem to negate the distance. Suddenly the star he had always stared at from afar had now landed in his palm.

Although he felt the weight of helping it to grow and shine, the world around him no longer seemed as bleak.

The rest of the day, although he had no reason to be, Akaashi truly felt unsettled. Nothing had really changed, Bokuto had just unearthed a truth that had laid dormant for the past few months. Of course, he certainly did not want to ignore it, but to say that he was scared would be an understatement.

What was he supposed to do? Acknowledge it directly? Would that not throw every careful step he’d taken out the window?

However if he did not speak of it at all, Bokuto might get discouraged the same way he did during games. Unlike a game, Akaashi would have no idea how to fix that. He certainly could not bear the weight if Bokuto’s performance started to fall. 

Of course, he also did not want to ignore it because-

“Oi, Akaashi. You coming?”

Jumping out of his skin, Akaashi’s head snapped to the side to see Bokuto peering into his class.

“I’m getting hungry, let’s go.” He said insistently, head tilting until it was nearly parallel to the floor. 

“R-right.”

With a shake of his head, he grabbed his bag and scrambled out of the classroom, fumbling with his shoes as he left. Bokuto raised an eyebrow at his behaviour, but didn’t say anything to point it out. 

When they reached their usual spot, Bokuto whistled as he pulled his food out of his bag. Without a word, he handed Akaashi a large onigiri wrapped neatly in paper.

Although his mother had said it would be an occasional thing, she seemed to send onigiri for Akaashi nearly every day now. 

“Please thank your oka-san for me, Bokuto-san.”

“Hm, you know you don’t have to say thank you every time, oka-san said they’re for you. I’m kinda jealous, she’s started making wayyy more onigiri since you started coming over.”

“Well, ever since Bokuto-san started coming over, we’ve had more barbecues than we ever did in the past.”

“Ya, Akaashi! The barbeque at your place is so good though.”

“So is the onigiri at yours.”

Letting out a hearty chuckle, Bokuto began eating, falling into one of the few times a day where he was unusually silent.

“Say, Bokuto-san?”

“Hm?”

“Can we study together again?”

“Oh, I don’t need your help for stuff right now though, Akaashi.”

“Uh-I, it’s better to study smaller topics over time than to cram them at once close to the exams.”

Sincerely thinking about his proposition, Bokuto looked almost comical as he pondered with his cheeks stuffed to the brim with food.

“Okay, but when there’s no exams we aren’t gonna take off from practice though.”

“How about just once a week?”

“Nu-uh.”

“Please Bokuto-san. I really like studying with you.” he pleaded, although sincerely, it helped to whine a little more to get his point across. 

“Okay maybe just one time.”

“On Fridays?”

“Thursday. Or Wednesday.” he offered. “I wanna practise on Fridays.”

“Bokuto-san you know i’m asking you to study with me everyday right?”

“Everyday??!” Sputtered Bokuto, staring at him incredulously. “That’s too much.”

“What do you mean that’s too much, do you not study Bokuto-san?“

“Well more near the exams, but usually… not everyday.”

“That seemed like a code for ‘not at all’.”

“It doesn’t have to be a lot, well, you don’t have to study at all. I would just like to have some company.”

“So, you’re asking me to… hang out with you?”

Pursing his lips, Akaashi averted his gaze, suddenly feeling bashful. 

It shouldn’t be so embarrassing.

They were practically together almost all day.

Why was he still so afraid?

“Yes…?“

“Okay.”

“Okay as in?”

“Sure.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, why would I say no?”

“Honestly, I can’t think of a reason.”
“Then why were you worried?” scoffed Bokuto, with no malice. “You’re weird Akaashi.”
“Hey, Bokuto-san you don’t get to say that to me.”
“Hm… why though?”
“Because you’re weird too.”

Bursting into laughter, Bokuto just shook his head, his silvery spikes dancing in the sunbeams. After his golden eyes, Akaashi’s favourite feature of Bokuto’s would have to be his hair. Especially in the sunlight.
“Alright then, better find a different name for you.”

A few days later, as the weekend training camp and inter high qualifiers approached, Akaashi was locking up the gym and Bokuto as always stood behind him, waiting to leave.

However, just as he was pulling the keys out of his bag, Akaashi heard Bokuto’s footsteps and suddenly felt the slight thump as Bokuto rested his head against Akaashi’s nape.

Utterly unfazed, Akaashi continued to lock up, even as Bokuto leaned on him with increasing heaviness.

“Tired, Bokuto-san?”
“Hmmmm.”
“This is quite unlike you.”
“Yah, I get tired too, y'know. Plus you’re just gonna make me study now. That isn’t really helping.”

“Well, since the camp and qualifiers are coming up I expected you to ask to practice more.” Enjoying himself, Akaashi deliberately took time to turn the key in the lock. “Well, if you’re really that tired, then you don’t have to study.”
Immediately perking up, Bokuto looked at Keiji with his dazzling eyes, sparkling with newfound joy. “Really??” 

“Yeah, you can go home instead of coming to my place.”
Falling silent, Bokuto seemed to be debating his answer as Akaashi finished locking the doors, tugging on the chain to ensure he had done it properly. It was not until they had started walking towards the gate that Bokuto finally gave him his answer.

“Can I still come over though?”

“Of course. But I still have to study Bokuto-san.”
“I don’t have to, right?”
“No, bu-”

“Okay!” exclaimed Bokuto, suddenly blessed with a new wave of energy. “Let’s go!”

Hooking his arm through Akaashi’s, Bokuto practically dragged him to the station. 

Since it was technically a day they were supposed to study, the sun was yet to set, and the remaining dusk colours gave a warm hue to Bokuto’s silvery hair. The splayed amber clouds matched the dark streaks in Bokuto’s eyes which Akaashi had only ever caught a few times. Although quite fit, Bokuto did not spend much time out in the sun, so his skin was as pale as Akaashi’s. In the twilight, the shadows across his skin seemed to be painted on, giving Bokuto’s entire appearance a touch of the surreal.

“Bokuto-san we aren’t exactly getting late, there’s no need to hurry.”

Halting mid step Bokuto gave him no leeway, causing Akaashi to smack into him, which did not even make him move a single inch.

“Akaashi. I won’t have to study. I wanna hang out with you.”
“We are technically hanging out right now.”
“Hmm, not like when you’re my setter though. I wanna hang out with you .”
Blankly blinking at him, Akaashi’d mind flitted through so many possible retorts that he could not think of a single thing to say.

Out of all the things, Keiji had not expected Bokuto to call him ‘his setter’. It was probably an offhand comment that did not mean that much to him, but it still made Akaashi’s heartbeat a little faster.

“Did you think of a nickname yet?” Blurted out Akaashi, making Bokuto look at him in confusion.

“Wait what?”
“Remember I said you’re not allowed to call me weird. Did you think of a nickname yet?”
“Akaashii.”
“I’ll take that as a no.”
“You’re cruel.”
“It’s just a nickname, Bokuto-san, you don’t have to stress yourself over it.”
“Nah you don’t get it. I’ll be the only one who uses it, so it’s got to be good.”
“Is that so?”
“Yup.”
“How do you know others don’t use nicknames for me?”
Halting abruptly, Bokuto looked at him incredulously.

“Akaashi, you don’t even tell people to use your first name.”
Beside himself, Akaashi laughed.

“Okay, you caught me. You’re the only one who calls me with just my name. Everyone else uses some honorific or the other.”

For some reason, even after Akaashi’s laugh had died out, Bokuto continued to stare at him, until Akaashi looked away.
Maybe it was just his imagination, but it seemed every time he laughed Bokuto’s eyes seemed to linger on him a little longer than what could be considered normal.
After that neither of them really said anything until they were on the train back. When Bokuto spotted his earphones, he immediately gasped.

“Akaashi, what music do you listen to?”
“Oh, would you like to share?” he asked, offering him the one for his right ear. “We can listen to it together.”

Almost immediately after he put it on, Akaashi felt a small tug as Bokuto turned excitedly and said, “You listen to stuff in different languages?”
“Oh, yeah most of the time I don’t really listen to japanese music.”
“Do you like anime openings?”
“I actually don’t watch a lot, I never really had the time.”
“I haven’t watched much these days either, but the songs really hype me up sometimes.”
“They’re quite exciting.” Admitted Akaashi, thinking he would take that secret to the grave.

“Have you ever gone to a karaoke room?”
“Ha! Not yet Bokuto-san. Are you planning on taking me to one?”
“Only if we don’t go with my ne-san. They bully me into singing songs they like.”
“Alright. We’ll go sometime.”
“Really?” 

“Really. And we won’t take your ne-san.”
“You’re kinda surprising Akaashi.”
“Right back at you Bokuto-san.”
“Do you like singing?”
“I don’t think I’ve done it enough to have an opinion honestly.”
“I think you’d be a really nice singer, Akaashi.”
“Why is that?”
“You just seem like you’re good at a lot of things.”
“Really?” 

“Yeah. I’m kinda jealous.”
“Jealous?? Of me?” Asked Akaashi, utterly taken aback. “Why would you be jealous of me?”

“I don’t really know, I just feel like that sometimes.”
“I don’t think you have any reason to be Bokuto-san.”
“Oh?”
“Even if I’m good at many things, you’re still excelling at a certain one. I don’t think I’m the best at anything. But anyone could say that you’re one of the best at this level of volleyball.”

Pausing for a moment, Bokuto seemingly stared out of the window opposite to them. Now that the sun had mostly dipped below the city horizon, the bright lights had begun to shine against the darkening sky. With every neon sign they passed, Bokuto’s hair reflected it with its silvery sheen, only slightly distorting the colour. The cool reflection on his hair was nearly the opposite to the saturation in his golden eyes. At times like this when he was deep in thought, they were so wide that Akaashi could see the details of whatever Bokuto was looking at in his irises.

“Akaashi?”
“Hm?”
“Would you give up being good at a bunch of things to be good at one thing?”
“Well…. I don’t think so. I’d rather wanna be good at a bunch of things and also be really good at one thing.”

“That’s kinda greedy.”
“Maybe.” Admitted Akaashi. “What about you Bokuto-san?”
“Me too. I wanna be good at a lot of things, but I wanna be the best at something too.”
Hesitating for a moment, Akaashi too looked out of the window, not wanting to meet Bokuto’s eyes if he decided to turn this way.

“I think you are.”
“Huh?? I suck at studying though.”
“Studying isn’t the only thing you gotta be good at though. Also I think you have the best focus out of anyone I’ve seen, Bokuto-san. There’s also why we all chose you to be captain. It was not an offhand decision, but because you bring out the best from everyone around you. It’s not something you should just write off.”

It was only after he said those things that he realised he had actually said them out loud.

All too suddenly, the sound of his heartbeat drowned out the music from his earphones, and he would not have been able to make out anything if Bokuto had decided to say anything.

His mind had gone into a state of shock and he could register nothing except an endless chorus of ‘ what have i done what have i done what have i done what have i done what have i done what have i done what have i done what have i done what have i done .’

The dread only grew as Bokuto said nothing until they arrived at Akaashi’s stop. Just as they had gotten off the train, and lingered enough to watch it leave, Bokuto finally replied to him.

“Do you really mean all that Akaashi?”
“Every word.”
“Even though they don’t say it to me, I know people think I'm too intense. With everything, even if it doesn’t have anything to do with volleyball. Sometimes, I don't know if I’m moving forward, or if everyone else is leaving me be-”

“It’s you.” Interrupted Akaashi, suddenly angry. “Don’t think about them. They’re not leaving you behind. They just can’t keep up with you.”

Although he knew it may not have affected Bokuto all that much, the fact that it was still there on his mind infuriated him. The rest of their team was supportive, and everyone was on good terms with each other. But, as always, Akaashi felt the constant pressure of a wall that pressed him back, and he had become used to it.

Meeting Bokuto was like seeing someone who existed on the same side as him, but did not give the time of day to that separation. He was thriving, all on his own.

However, now that Bokuto had admitted this to him, he felt a rush of empathy, but at the same time knew it was nothing like his own life at all.

Unlike Akaashi, Bokuto wasn’t made to sit on the sidelines. He was the protagonist, made to shine brighter than the others. Keiji knew one day, his journey would take him to the top, where he would be with others who would push him to go even further, all of them stars with their own light,

Perhaps it was a little selfish to say, and definitely not objective.

But for him, Bokuto would always shine a little brighter than the others.

He could still remember the words Bokuto had said to him right after Akaashi had admitted to not knowing why he would want to learn how to rebound.

Think about what’s fun, not easy.

It suited Bokuto perfectly.

At the time, the way Bokuto had described it, the task had seemed so arduous to Akaashi. On the other hand, now that some time had passed, in hindsight, he understood that phrase much better than he had in the past.

Although he had been alone, Bokuto continued along his path because of his love for volleyball. He played, practised, and exercised, all to make volleyball more fun as time went along. He won, because it was fun to win. He practised until his clothes dripped with sweat because it was fun to be able to score for his team.

Of course it would have been much easier to slow himself down to the level of the others.

But for Bokuto, it was not fun, so he had no reason to do it.

For some reason, although he knew the words he had said already would be reassuring to Bokuto, Akaashi simply kept on going.

“You’re passionate about volleyball, Bokuto-san. Please never think of it as a bad thing. It’s one of your best qualities.”
Letting out a huff, Bokuto just turned to him and grinned, lightly punching him in the shoulder.

“You really got a way with words, huh Akaashi?”
“It was just the truth.” shrugged Keiji, giving him a small smile of his own. “C’mon Bokuto-san let’s go.”

Once they left the station, the crowd thinned out to the point where it was just the two of them as they got closer and closer to Akaashi’s home. Usually, there would be others getting home, but not many, since Akaashi’s neighbours were mostly retired elders. In fact, as the two of them walked towards his home, he could feel some curious eyes on the two of them from people he knew. 

It was apparently quite the gossip about how the solitary Akaashi had begun bringing home a friend. Now that Bokuto was here in increasing frequency, it seemed the neighbourhood had become a tad bit too invested.

“Akaashi?”
“Hm?”
“Do you think you have a problem with thinking about the effort you put into things?”
Had it been anyone else who asked him this, Keiji would probably not even have looked their way, let alone consider answering.

“You mean, I don’t acknowledge my effort?”
“Bingo!” Winked Bokuto, shooting finger guns at him. “I think you always end up thinking ‘Oh I coulda done that better’ or ‘I should’ve done this’ or-”

“Okay, okay I get the idea Bokuto-san, you don’t need to keep giving examples.”
Stopping in front of him, Bokuto poked Akaashi’s sternum with his index finger. 

“Just live right now. You think too much about what you’ve already done, and what you think you gotta do.”

“It’s.. it’s not that easy.”
“Yeah yeah, I know. I know you can’t change in a day but think about it.”
“Didn’t you just say I think too much?”
“HAHA! You caught me.”

Bursting into laughter, Bokuto stretched his arms up to the sky before folding them behind his head as they walked.
Chuckling to himself, Akaashi shook his head slightly as they turned to his house. The two of them didn’t really converse until they were sitting on the low table in Akaashi’s living room. Since Akaashi was the only one studying, he sat with his history work while Bokuto lay on the cushions, using Keiji’s folded leg as a headrest. Although he was reading the latest shonen jump, Akaashi could tell he was distracted. But, for the sake of finishing his work, he did not initiate conversation. 

He waited for Bokuto to do it instead.

Much like he guessed, it did not take very long. 

“Akaashi?” huffed Bokuto, dropping the manga on his chest and looking up towards Keiji.

 From this angle, Akaashi felt that Bokuto’s eyes looked much larger, making him look slightly younger as they took up so much of his face. 

Although it was slightly unnerving to have those large golden eyes staring up at him, he wasn’t as unfazed as he thought he would be.

“Yes Bokuto-san.”
“Do you think you give 100% of your effort when you play volleyball?”
“Yes.” he said immediately, not even needing a pause to consider it.

“Every time?”
“Yeah.”
“Even for practice games?”
“Yup.”
‘Practice?”
“Yes.”

“Official games?”
“Mhm.”
“What about when you practice with me?”

‘Hm.. I think with you I have to give 120%.”
Intrigued, Bokuto sat up immediately and turned to be able to look at him.

“Really?”
“Honestly, it’s the only way I can keep up with you, Bokuto-san.”
“No way! You’re an awesome setter though Akaashi.”
“You flatter me Bokuto-san. But I’m barely enough to match Kozume.”
“Hm, I think you’re lying.”
“Why would I lie about this?”
“Well, maybe not to me, but I think you’re definitely on Kenma’s level.”
“Don’t tempt me into thinking that way, Kozume-san and Nekoma are a formidable enemy.”
“Exactly!”

Confused, Akaashi leaned away from his work, focused entirely on Bokuto now.

“What do you mean?”
Leaning forward, Bokuto tapped the side of his head, making him blink reflexively.

“You end up going somewhere up in here, but you gotta remember when you’re playing, you got me too!” He yelled excitedly, “A-and everyone else, too! There’s six of us! It’s not just you on that court Akaashi. So don’t be stupid and take responsibility for everything, okay?”
Sometimes, Akaashi forgot how observant and insightful Bokuto could actually be. 

Lately, he had been hitting his problems spot on with deadly accuracy, and what’s scarier, with increasing frequency. 

“Now you’re probably going, ‘oh it’s bad that I was showing my emotions and stuff like that’.”
“Well, Bokuto-san you’re kinda jumping the gun here, I haven’t even reached there yet.”
“Liar.”
“Oh?”
“I’ve seen how fast you think about things when we’re playing volleyball. Don’t lie to me I know you’re probably thinking about being able to hide this stuff better right?”
“Maybe..”
“Akaashi, you know it’s okay to show emotion once in a while.”
“Hey, I show emotion!”
“Ah wait a minute, that's not what I meant. It was more like, you’re not supposed to keep everything locked up inside all the time. Like, I talk to my sisters or my mom when I have problems. Well I talk to you a lot too but you don’t tell me a lot.”

“I talk to you the most out of everyone in my life.”

“Wait really?”

“Yeah.”

Letting out a small whistle, Bokuto flopped back down on Akaashi’s leg before continuing.

“Y’know how you give 100% in volleyball, you should put some effort into sharing stuff a little.”

“Okay well, as a percentage, how much does Bokuto-san think it is right now?”

“37%!” He said resolutely as he snapped his fingers.

“That low? You make it seem like I don’t say anything about myself at all!”

“You kinda don’t.” He admitted. “I didn’t know a lot about you until I asked you to study with me and I came over.”
“Well, the other times we were busy with practising.”
“Hm, but during lunch we could have talked about other things more.”
“You have a point.” Agreed Akaashi, continuing a little hesitantly. “But, Bokuto-san didn’t really ask me.”

“You never brought up anything.”
“I… I’m not used to it.”
Falling quiet, Bokuto just stared up at him to the point where it became uncomfortable to look at him.

For the first time in front of him, Akaashi felt ashamed.

“Oh…” whispered Bokuto, “That’s okay. I’ll ask you stuff then.”

“Alright.” Smiled Akaashi. “But that’s gonna have to wait until after I finish my work.”
“Okay. I’ll wait.”

Picking up the manga again, he lay on his side, nuzzling his head on Akaashi’s leg to get comfortable to the point that it became very ticklish. Even then, he did his very best to not move at all as Bokuto read on his leg.

After a few minutes, Akaashi focused on his work, zoning out to everything else. It wasn’t until he had finished his assignment that he realised Bokuto had fallen asleep.

Since he was no longer preoccupied, Keiji realised that he was letting out the softest of snores, all as he was curled up beside Akaashi’s leg.

Leaning back, Akaashi tried his best to keep still as he watched Bokuto sink deeper into sleep. It was a little amusing that the person with the most energy on the court also happened to be the fastest one to fall asleep. 

It was quite comical to see someone who was well over six feet fold into a foetal position while clutching his leg. When he stood anywhere, Bokuto’s presence, alongside his physical appearance, was hard to ignore. However the sleeping boy in front of him did not exude any of the intimidating or awe he did while conscious. Instead, he was a silhouette of contentment.

Beside himself, when Bokuto shifted slightly in his sleep and nuzzled his leg to find a more comfortable position, Akaashi’s heart skipped a beat.

Maybe it was because he did not have siblings, but Akaashi had never been good at initiating or reciprocating physical affection.

However, there was always a part of him that wanted to touch Bokuto. He was always warm and so unbelievably and tangibly present in Akaashi’s life. It was out of curiosity to check whether he was real or not most of the time. 

The other times it was probably only for the sake of being able to touch him. 

Although when he was utterly focused, Bokuto tended to be slightly quiet, it was probably when he was sleeping that he was truly silent.

Very unlike his usual self, Akaashi slowly crept his hand down to where Bokuto’s hair was sprawled out. With the gentlest of touches, he wove his fingers through the silvery strands and found them to be freakishly soft. Disbelieving, he did it again, just a little deeper this time, taking the opportunity to brush it between his fingers. One would have thought the speckled crown atop Bokuto’s head was built on hair gel or spray, but Keiji could find no traces of it.

Mesmerised, and exceedingly curious, Akaashi could not bring himself to stop touching the bright silvery strands. Even as he began the revision for Japanese literature, he kept one of his hands close to be able to brush Bokuto’s hair frequently. After he had read the first few pages, it became habitual to gently comb through a few strands mostly because he was not shy about doing it while Bokuto was sle-

“My mom and sisters do that too y’know…”

While Bokuto was not in fact sleeping. 

Freezing dead in his tracks, Akaashi was too stunned to be able to figure out the writing in front of him. The sound of his heartbeat drowned out anything else, muffling the sound of the small creaking fan and the shuffling curtains.

“Yah! I didn’t tell you to stop..” mumbled Bokuto, shifting closer to Akaashi. “It’s actually helping me sleep.”
“S-sorry I didn- I should have asked.”
Not bothering to stifle the next yawn, Bokuto seemed to be on the brink of slipping out of consciousness.

“Keep doing it… please?” Whispered Bokuto, adding the last word as an afterthought.

“Only if you’re ok with it.”

“Yeah, I am.”

“A-alright.”

“I’m not going to break if you touch me, Kaashi.”

Unsure of what to say, Akashi chose to stay silent. Instead he slowly put his hand back down to settle gently in Bokuto’s thick hair.

“Uhm, do you need a blanket, Bokuto-san?”
“No. I’m ok.” he murmured, still wiggling to get comfortable. 

Giving Akaashi one last look, he shut his eyes and soon fell asleep, leaving Akaashi alone again.

Well, not entirely.

It was a different kind of loneliness, no longer weighing down on him. In the past it was the kind filled with silence to the point where he prayed to break out of it. The cold grey fog that had settled around him had been broken by undeniable glimmering rays, revealing an existence he didn’t know he craved. Now, he knew all he had to do to be around someone was to maybe tickle Bokuto’s ear, tug a little bit on a strand of silvery hair. Even with him asleep, the sound of his breathing and the warm, steady pressure against his leg was a comforting reminder. 

After a few minutes, Akaashi gave up on his work entirely.

Instead, he rested his elbow on the table, cupping his face as he leaned to the side to look at Bokuto better.

In that moment, it would have been impossible to explain to him how grateful he was to have Bokuto in his life.

Suddenly his life that had been blues and greys was splattered with shades of colours he didn’t know existed. At the heart of it was Bokuto. Maybe it was just his imagination, but he liked to believe that everything around him seemed a little more vibrant, a little more alive. Akaashi too felt as if he was breathing without a weight on his chest for the very first time.

Just as he was lost in his thoughts, he heard a ka-chick of a camera, and his head snapped up to the side to find his mother hunching with her phone.

Grinning wildly, she teasingly waved her phone in front of him before walking away, leaving him utterly helpless as he watched her go.

A few weeks later, their team was waiting for the other schools to arrive for the first weekend matches before the training camp at Shinzen. They had made it through the first round of the inter high with ease, and minimal difficulties on Bokuto’s side.

However the mood swings came later when Bokuto realised he had failed the math exam and had to take a supplementary test before the camp.

Knowing if he messed up the second exam as well, his performance at the practice matches would be greatly affected. So, he had pulled him out of extra practice yesterday and gone over all his mistakes until his face was ashen and he no longer had the energy to sit up straight.

For some reason, the rest of the team, including their managers had become a lot more excited to do their part in cheering him up. To the point where they suggested things as well.

He must admit, Shirofuku had quite good ideas.

Of course, since the beginning Akaashi had already given them a small list of things to say, which they were quite reluctant about before. However, now they excitedly approached, like a pack of hungry hyenas.

Now that the test was over, Bokuto was quite talkative. However, it was far more interrogative than before.

“Akaashi, you know where you wanna go to study?”
” Komazawa University.”

“Wah, isn’t that really difficult to get into?”
“So is Fukurodani.”
“Akaashi you smug bastard, you like doing this don’t you.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He smiled, making Bokuto grin wildly. 

“If I work hard it shouldn’t be that difficult right?”
“Hm, I think you’ll be able to do it.”
“What about you Bokuto-san?”
“Well.. I’m kinda still thinking about whether I should go pro first or finish studying first.”
“You want to go to university?”
“Er…” Bokuto started sheepishly, fiddling with his fingers. “I wanna play. For as long as I can, and want to. But, Sora and Hiroto ne-san said I should have a backup plan. In case something happens.”
“I’m glad you’re playing it safe.”
“I’m still gonna play though.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t expect anything else.”
“Are you gonna help me study?”
“Won’t Bokuto-san be really far away?”
“I’ll come back on the weekends.”
“What about volleyball?”
“SHIT you’re right.”
“Bokuto-san… did you just… curse?”
Ignoring him, Bokuto continued talking as if nothing was wrong.

“I’ll find time, promise.”

“I’ll visit Bokuto-san sometime. You don’t have to be the only one doing all the work. ”
“OH, you should come play with me on the weekends.”
“What about team practice at school? I don’t want to slack off here.”

“Yaaa, you know Akaashi, you’re probably gonna be captain.”

“Well… they did make me vice captain, so I would presume they would make me captain next year.”

“You excited?”

“It won’t be that different. Except I won’t have Bokuto-san’s mood swings to deal with.”

“HEY.”

“You know I have a point.”

“Hmph.”

“You HAVE gotten better though, Bokuto-san. I will admit that. However, you may not have a team that lets it slide in university.”

“Are ya proud of me?”

“I think you ignored the second half of my sentence.”

“Yeah yeah, I know. I’m working on it.” He huffed. “But you’re wrong.”

“About what?”

“About it being the same next year.”

“Well there will be some changes, of course.”

“What do you mean ‘some’??? EVERYTHING’s gonna be different! There’ll be new kids, you’re gonna be captain, half the team will be gone and you’re gonna get guys who play completely different. It’s gonna be exciting.”

“The same is true for Bokuto-san as well. You’ll be with people who are gonna be closer to your level.”

“I can’t wait.” He grinned. “Kuroo n all better play in college too, I’ll be so mad at him if he doesn’t. But.. man… I’ll have to study if I go.”
“Did you forget about that?”
“Do I have to study a lot?”
“Well, maybe a little more than you do now.”
Crestfallen, Bokuto’s face immediately darkened, but Akaashi could not help but laugh.

“Akaashi I can’t go!” Sputtered Bokuto, gnashing his teeth as he held his head in his hands. “What am I gonna do?”
“Hey, Bokuto-san, don’t think too much about it.” Reassured Akaashi. “I’ll help you study. Promise.”
“And I won’t fail, right?”
“You won’t. Just don’t forget to study it like you did for maths this time.”

“Yah! You promised you wouldn’t bring it up!”

“Alright alright, but don’t dwell over it.”
“Alright, I won’t think about it now.”
“Wait, Bokuto-san I didn’t mean don’t think about it at all, I just meant don’t let it worry you.”
Confounded, Bokuto just stared at him, eyebrows bunched up as he tried to think about what he just said.

Realising that he may have bitten off more than he could chew, Akaashi changed the topic until Bokuto went on his ecstatic drawl about training camp.

After a certain point, Bokuto was sitting with the other third years, so Akaashi sat on the bench near the entrance, waiting for Kozume to show up.

Even though he wanted to send a message, he found it too impatient since they would be seeing each other soon anyway. 

About half an hour later, Akaashi found himself standing before all the familiar teams, Bokuto excitedly chirping beside him. Although he had learned to tune him out, sometimes he grew upset if Akaashi did not pay attention to things that were directed his way. He knew the general gist of his words had to do with how he was going to crush the other schools.

Honestly, he anticipated meeting Kozume to the point where he just felt like ignoring Bokuto. 

Rubbing his tired eyes, Akaashi trailed behind, occasionally murmuring acknowledgements.

It seemed to be working until Bokuto threw an arm over his shoulder as they reached the end of the group.

“What is it, Bokuto-san?”
“Aww Akaashi, you used to be so nice to me. What happened?”
“I would say you grew up a little.” he replied playfully. 

“Hmph. Anyway, there’s another school coming to the training camp this time.”

“Oh yeah, Kozume-san told me. Karasuno, right?”

“Yeah! They played a practice game together earlier this year. Apparently, it was a close match.”
“Woah, against Kuroo?! No way, they must be really good.”

“The master of provocation didn’t mention that then.”
“Probably ‘cause he didn’t wanna admit he almost lost to a team that couldn’t even make it to nationals.” Snarked Bokuto, and Akaashi could not resist the urge to smile. “By the way, I’m stealing that nickname.”
“Go for it.” Shrugged Akaashi, knowing it would not really affect Kuroo in any shape or form. Well,

He was likely to be proud of it more than anything else. 

“Kozume-san said their team has a lot of first years. That makes it a little more surprising, considering Nekoma has a lot of experienced players.”

“Ha! It would be fun to play with them.”
“Of course, they’re all good opponents to practise with.”

“I hope they make it to Nationals, I wanna play against them.”
“Bokuto-san, we haven't even seen them play yet.” Reminded Akaashi, “Besides, chances are we may not even be in the same bracket, so don’t get your hopes up.”
“You’re such a party pooper..” Brushed off Bokuto. “But it would be fun if they are though.”
“Sure Bokuto-san.”

Although he too was excited, since it was one of the few times a year he got to meet Kozume, he tended to look forward to it. However, what kept him a little on edge was the new team that was supposed to join. There was a particular player, their setter, that had him a little worried.

Tobio Kageyama.

There wasn’t a volleyball player in middle school that had not heard his name. The king of the court. An exceedingly talented setter that didn’t play by anybody else’s rules.

More than anything, Akaashi wanted to learn from him too.
Before they could continue their conversation, they saw Kuroo in the distance and Bokuto ran off to meet him. Squinting, Akaashi was surprised to see Kozume following him as well, and he too increased his speed.

As always, Kuroo and Bokuto began greeting each other in their own rowdy way, and left him and Kozume to each other. It seemed he had gotten a new- what was it- Nintendo DS, and was as always preoccupied with the game. However, unlike the first time, he looked up and gave Akaashi a small smile.

“Akaashi-san.” 

“Kozume-san, good to see you again.”

“You’re never going to use Kenma, huh?”
“Probably not.”
Scoffing, Kenma nodded towards the entrance, beckoning Akaashi to follow. Since their practice games were not about to start for a while, he did not have any qualms about leaving the gym.

“How were the matches yesterday?”
“The first ones were okay, but the last one was pretty interesting.”

A trait of Kozume’s that would never fail to intrigue him was that he did not care about the outcome of the match.

He played for the sake of going against people he found interesting. He was methodical and calculating, and in some ways ruthless. Possibly the most impressive setter he had ever come across personally. His strategies combined with Nekoma’s playstyle were flawless.

Just as Akaashi was about to enter the room to leave his things, he heard Kozume softly say, “I think Bokuto’s gonna like Karasuno.”
“Oh? What makes you say that?”
“There’s one… a first year. He kinda reminds me of Bokuto. But, Shoyo’s skill level is nowhere close to his.”
“Shoyo?”
“Ah yeah, Hinata Shoyo. He’s one of the three first years who are starters. It’s kinda new.”
“Why’s he a starter if he’s not that skilled?”
Looking up, Kenma’s eyes gleamed with an uncharacteristic excitement as he seemed to be lost in thought.

“I don’t wanna spoil it for you. You’ll see it soon enough.”
With a self satisfied smile, Kenma walked off with Kuroo leading him away, letting them go back to their team.

“That bastard Kuroo wouldn’t tell me anything about that team!” Pouted Bokuto. “Didya get anything from Kenma?”

“Only that there’s a first year that is seemingly like you.”
“Like me??” Gasped Bokuto, equal parts pride and jealousy in his voice. “Is he that good?”
“I think Kozume-san meant more in terms of attitude.”
“OHo, we have another volleyball lover here.”
“Hm, sure. That’s definitely one way to put it.”
“Of course he would want to be like me, I’m one of the top 5 aces in the country!”
“Not top 3, huh?”

“Akaashiii!” whined Bokuto. “I know you like to be mean, but can you at least defend me at camp?”

“If you want me to.”
“Yes! Yes I do!”
“Okay then.”

With a dramatic ‘hmph’ Bokuto practically stomped away, spikes prickling in annoyance. Smiling to himself, Akaashi followed him to the corner where the others were warming up.

All the while, he kept an eye out towards the only team which he didn’t recognise- they could only be Karasuno -but there wasn’t anyone who truly stood out. He couldn’t help but wonder how a team like that kept Nekoma on its toes.

“Who is it?” Whispered Bokuto, very conspicuously, drawing the attention of the three who were near them.

Of course he was voicing Akaashi’s own thoughts, but he would let Bokuto take the fall for it this time.

“Who do you mean?”

“The first years. From Karasuno.”

“Bo-“

“Ah, you mean our freak duo? Don’t stress about it, they’ll be here soon.” Waved off the one closest to them. He had dark hair that was cut short, and a slightly athletic build. However there was nothing about him that stood out too much. For a volleyball player, he was not that tall, easily two or more inches shorter than Akaashi.

“Missed the bus?” Akaashi asked, raising an eyebrow, making the boy burst into laughter.

“Something like that.”
Intrigued, Akaashi walked off, nudging Bokuto away before he could get distracted and then turn huffy about not being able to meet them. He just hoped that the two of them would show up before their match together.

Much to his dismay, by the time their match with Karasuno arrived, he did not see any new faces, and he could practically see the dark cloud hovering over Bokuto’s head. Akaashi thought it would just get even worse, but somehow the universe took mercy on him and with the bang of the gym doors, in walked the two stars of the show.

There were only a few players Akaashi had seen who seemed to live and breathe the sport of volleyball, to the point where it would be disturbing to see them do anything else.

Bokuto was obviously one such person, however the two who stood by the doors undeniably made their presence known. While one stood with the mark of ‘king of the court’ on his back, the other was a nobody. No one knew of him before this year, yet he seemed to impress even the calculating Kenma.

For the first time, Akaashi saw Bokuto distracted from his own game and waited impatiently for it to be over. Half his attention was on the court where the match between Karasuno and Shinzen. Akaashi could not blame him for it, since he and the rest of the team were in the same condition.

As soon as their match was over, the two did not have to exchange a single word before standing off to the side to watch.

It was just at the beginning of the rally that they had made their way there, and Akaashi could already read the different aura the team carried now. 

The Karasuno they had played against was not the Karasuno that was on the court now. Just the presence of those two had shifted the balance and he was sure it was building to something insane.

Just as the libero on Karasuno’s side picked the ball, an excellent pass, did he see what was so shocking.

 The ball had not even reached the hands of the setter, in fact it was nowhere near Kageyama Tobio. Yet… their short orange haired middle blocker was about to take off. Unable to help himself, he held his breath, forcing his eyes to stay open, lest he blink and miss the entire thing.

The whole play was over in an instant.

Kageyama Tobio’s fingers had touched the ball, and set it precisely in its place. However, it was a set with no backspin, going through the point of contact, making it dangerous if not timed perfectly.

However, that was not what took his breath away.

Their number 10…

The short, orange haired middle blocker took flight, as if ready to take his place within the stars scattered across the sky. He may not have had much of the skill nor majesty Akaashi had seen when he had observed Bokuto playing for the first time, but he flew even higher. 

What shocked Akaashi even more, was that his eyes were closed the entire time.

Beside himself, he could not help but gawk, even if it was just for a moment.

“Wow…”

It seemed… Kageyama Tobio had carried the mantle of king with him to his high school as well.

Although that quick set was incredible, on both their ends, if it was with anyone but Kageyama it would never work. The timing, the precision, it was of a monstrous accuracy. 

In a way that was very unlike him, he too felt the adrenaline rushing back, the hair on his arms standing as he felt goosebumps travel down his skin.

What an incredible rush it was to witness three stars find their place all at the same time.
Next to him, Bokuto had a wicked smile on his face, his glowing eyes fuelled with passion he had been missing all day. While it was true that others in the team were greatly affected by Bokuto’s own mood, it was nothing like seeing Bokuto completely fired up. Unfortunately, it was the end of the day, and it would just be the two of them practising, but he would have loved to see Bokuto in a game right now.

“This year is shaping up to be an interesting one.”

After the day’s matches were over, Karasuno’s number 10, along with Kozume and Inuoka from Nekoma were walking the hallways, and as much as Akaashi wanted to speak to Kozume he kept his distance. He found it awkward to approach them when clearly the three of them were a group based on a shared experience he was not privy to.

Besides what would he say to the other two?

Either way, since the matches were at their own school, he had no reason to not go home. Considering that in a few weeks they would have to sleep at Shinzen for 7 nights, he wanted to enjoy his bed to himself for as long as he could.

Since Bokuto was busy talking to Kuroo, Akaashi took the time to pack up his bag, uttering small words of acknowledgement to Konoha as he tried to include him in some conversation.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Kageyama Tobio sitting on the bench close to the gym doors. After he picked up his bag, since he was heading that way, he ushered himself to say something. However, when he saw the look of intense concentration on Kageyama’s face, his words died in his throat and he simply ended up staring awkwardly at the younger boy.

Although exceedingly distracted, almost immediately Kageyama looked his way, making Akaashi blink awkwardly as he stared at him in shock, cheeks slowly dusting pink. Goosebumps prickled along his skin as he saw a darker, and somehow more intense fire burn in his bright azure eyes. After being around Bokuto, he was used to the kind of intensity he displayed, but this was far more obsessive.

“Aa…ka..shi-san?”
“You know my name??” He asked incredulously, genuinely shocked despite the mispronunciation.

He was a nobody, with no outstanding talents. He was a shadow for the star in his life, that was it. Akaashi wasn't a trained mastermind like Kozume, or gifted with rare talent like Kageyama. He was the product of just hard work. Hard work which would never catch up.
“O-of course,” he said with conviction. “Akaashi-san is the setter for Fukurodani, why wouldn’t I know?”
“Well…”
“AKAASHI!”

Sighing, he shut his eyes in defeat as he heard the squeak of familiar footsteps as Bokuto all but tackled him.

“Are you going home?? Why aren’t you staying?”

“A-kashi-san… is leaving?”
Well at least his pronunciation was getting a bit better.

However, considering how starstruck he was since Bokuto ran over, it didn’t look like he was going to survive the next ten minutes.

“Oh, hey! You’re Karasuno’s freaky setter! Kanegawa!”
“Bokuto-san, it’s Kageyama.”
“W-wait Bokuto-san knows who I am??”
Suddenly it was deja-vu.

Grasping for words, Kageyama fell silent.

“Wah, I can’t wait to see that up close.” sighed Bokuto. “You better bring your A game tomorrow!”
“Y-yes...” 

Akaashi could have sworn Kageyama had almost said sir, considering the dazed look on the boy’s face he was confused about it himself.
Turning his back to Kageyama, Bokuto pouted as he crossed his arms.

“Why’re you going home?”

“Well, we live close by, it doesn’t make any difference to stay or go.”
“But..”
“But?”
“Who’s gonna practice with me?”
“Practice time’s over though.”
“What about morning practice?”
“I’ll be there on time.”
“What if I want to practice more right now?”
“Well I’m sure you’ll be able to find someone.”
“Akaashi! You know everyone runs away.” he huffed. “You know I like to practice with you.”
As self-satisfied as he felt with that comment, he was far too gone with the idea of being able to sleep in his own room that he didn’t even think about it.

“Bokuto-san, are you asking because you just want me to stay?”
“No! Yes! Maybe.”
“Which one is it?”
“Yes.”
“Well too bad.”
“Akaashi!”
“Kidding.” He sighed, setting his bag down. “I’ll stay but I didn’t bring any clothes.”
“You can take mine.”
Raising an eyebrow, Akaashi stared incredulously at him. He was bluffing, he had to be. He never had extra clothes.

“You brought extra clothes?”
“Yup! Cause I knew you were gonna try and run away.”

Still, for his amusement, he decided to go along with it.

“This is wrong, Bokuto-san knows me a little too well now.”
“It’s wrong??”
“Ah nevermind. I’m not staying though.”
“Akaashiiii.”
“You can’t convince me. I wanna sleep in my own bed.”
“Even if I say please.”
“Even then.”
“Ah you’re so cruel, Akaashi.” He complained, backing away from the door. “Better be on time tomorrow.”
“Have you ever known me to be late?”
“Just thought I would remind you.”
Picking up his bag again, Akaashi walked to the door and as he was slipping on his shoes, he turned back to look at Bokuto.

Even though Kuroo and now their newly acquainted Daichi were all there, he saw Bokuto’s spikes beginning to droop.

Initially, he was about to leave silently, but Akaashi decided to distract him, even if it was for a moment.

“You were lying about the clothes right?”
“No…” whispered Bokuto, fiddling with his fingers.
“Bokuto-san…”
“Okay I thought you’d stay.”
“Nice try.”
“OI Bokuto!” called Kuroo from the other end of the gym, and Bokuto immediately whipped his head to the side.

"Kuroo! Wait for a bit!" Just as Bokuto was about to run off, he turned back and started to speak. “Akaashi-”

“Good night Bokuto-san.” Interrupted Akaashi, giving him a weak smile before turning away and leaving. He knew if he turned back to look, it would probably be much harder to leave, so he kept his eyes glued forward.

After returning home, Akaashi placed his phone on his desk, making a resolution to not touch it until the following morning. The guilt of leaving still nagged him, but when he sank into his comfortable bed, he did not miss being grateful for this.

However, just as his eyes were about to shut, in the dark haze he could not help but regret not being able to see those luminous amber eyes just before he drifted off to sleep.

Chapter Text

After the summer break had come about, with its week full of practice matches with the other schools, Bokuto had become more motivated than Akaashi had ever seen him before.

There was a phrase often used in the care of terminally ill patients called ‘The Surge’. An indefinite time before the passing of a person with terminal illness, they would have a period of increased energy and alertness, which gave false hope to their families. 

Of course it could just be Bokuto growing up a little, his mood swings becoming stable because he was realising he’s going to have to go out in the real world.

But in Akaashi’s brain, he could not rethink his connection to the surge.

It was, frankly speaking, ridiculous.

Bokuto didn’t have a terminal illness. He wasn’t going to die. He was gonna go to college and play even better volleyball, and keep shining, as stars are meant to.

Bokuto was a young star, barely in the middle of its life cycle, and he was only going to burn brighter.

So what was this feeling of dread that hung over him like a midnight cloud with unceasing rain?

He should be happy, hadn’t those issues been annoying him for 2 years now?

As these thoughts continued to plague him, he found himself being more absent in the present than ever before. And, as always Bokuto would be first to unabashedly catch him.

It was a few days before they were meant to go to the set of arenas to participate in the national level games. They had been walking to the metro station, and Bokuto had been passing the time with spinning a worn out volleyball on the tip of his finger. His silence was less overthinking, and more comfortable since he knew he had done all he could to prepare for the coming tournament.

On the other hand, Akaashi could barely figure out a single coherent thought from the storm that was raging inside his brain.

“Oi.”
“Hm?”
“You’re doing it again.”

“Doing what?”
“Thinking too much.” he said plainly, abruptly snatching the spinning ball away from his left hand.

The track uniform which they’d gotten in the beginning of the year which had been quite loose fitting was now sticking rigidly to Bokuto’s body. For his own sake, Keiji felt like telling him to get a new one. This had already happened with the actual team uniforms, since they had become uncomfortably tight for him, which made Akaashi somewhat jealous. 

Well jealousy was maybe just one part of it. Had the other emotions won over, he would never have uttered a word. 

“You’ve been a little too quiet for a bit now.”
“I’m just worried?”
“Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“What’s worrying gonna do, huh?”
Confused, Akaashi gawked at him, annoyingly unable to answer.

“You’re gonna worry, and then you’re gonna go quiet, and then worry even more. And then, you’re gonna forget how to play.”
“Of course I won’t forget how to play!”
“Nope, you’re gonna think, and you’re gonna make so many mistakes, that you’re gonna forget how to play like Akaashi does.”
“I-”
“And that’s okay. Even if you say sorry to me, I’m not gonna be mad at you. But you’re gonna be mad at yourself.”
“Hey, wa-”

Stepping in front of him, Bokuto blocked his way, forcing Akaashi to stare into his challenging predatory gaze.

“Are you stupid?”

“What?”
“Are you stupid, cause I don’t think you’re stupid.”
“What are you implying Bokuto-san?”
“I’m implying - thanks for that by the way I didn’t know how to use that properly- that why are you… sabotaging yourself?”
“That was an impressive sentence.”
Grinning, his chest puffed with pride. 

“I know, right?” glowed Bokuto, but immediately shaking his head after that, making his speckled hair look like a mane of shaking feathers. “Okay but, you gotta answer my question.”
“I’m not doing it on purpose.”
“Okay, what’re you doing to not worry?”

“...”

“N o t h i n g.” he said slowly, lingering over each letter as he bonked Akaashi’s head with the volleyball. “So you are a bit stupid.”
“How can I not be worried?” he scowled, “It’s a lot of pressure.”
“Yeah, but it's also gonna be a lot of fun.”

“Okay but-”
“No ‘buts’.” he interrupted. “Stop worrying. What are you gonna be able to do about anything that’s gonna happen in the matches right now? Can you do anything right now?”
“No…”

“Then cheer up. You gotta keep up with me once in a while, Akaashi.” 

Sighing, he tapped the volleyball out of Bokuto’s hands, ignoring his protests, and spinning it over the first joint of his index finger. The ball had lost most of its friction, and it was covered with dark patches, its original white colour long gone for a washed out grey. Hiroto, Bokuto’s older sister had said that it was the first volleyball they had bought him.
“Thief.”
“You were done using it, Bokuto-san.”
“Two years ago you wouldn’t even have opened your mouth to ask me for it.”
“Well, two years ago, you couldn’t pronounce my name.”
“How I miss that teeny tiny Akaashi from Mori Middle School.”

“I must admit I don’t miss the younger version of you.”
“How dare you!”

“Need I remind you I still have to tell you that people in the stands think you’re really cool so that you play well in a match.”
“Not all the time!”
Smiling, Akaashi hopped in front of Bokuto and dramatically threw his hand back to stop him midway, replicating his friend’s dismal tone, “ don’t toss to me Akaashi! ”

Annoyed, Bokuto stuck out his tongue at him, but he couldn’t hide the amusement dancing in his eyes.

“You’re so mean Akaashi.”
“Bokuto-san was the one who asked me to stop being nice to him.”
“Hmph.”
Petulantly, Bokuto took his volleyball back as they neared the metro station, and cradled it when they took their seats. The first time they had sat next to each other, they had done so comfortably, with much space between them. However, the endless hours of volleyball practice and the weight training now meant that their sides would press together. Unless they chose to sit apart.

“Hmm, how about I give you some motivation to win?” offered Bokuto, nudging Keiji with his shoulder. “You can call me Koutaro if we win the finals.”

“That’s no motivation at all.”
“Hey!”
Smiling softly, Akaashi stared out of the opposite window, watching the street lights streak by the train. 

“Alright, Bokuto-san. If we win then you can call me Keiji.”
“Wait really?!”

“No.”
“Hmph.”
“I’ll consider it.”
“Okay now we really gotta win.”

“One thing before that though. You have to get a new tracksuit, Bokuto-san. This one’s getting a little tight.”
Beside him, Bokuto stretched and flexed his arms, making the fabric seem like it was about to scream in pain any moment.

“It’s gonna be cold when we go for the tournament and you won’t be able to layer things if it's so tight.”
“Yeah, but I was gonna graduate in a bit so I didn’t really think about getting a new one.”
“Oh.. right.”

Ah yes.

The graduation.

Akaashi totally remembered the graduation.

“But yeah, you have a point, I’ll ask ‘ka-san when I get home.”
“Alright.”
“Don’t my muscles look great though?”

Akaashi’s stomach suddenly decided to do somersaults.
“Yes, Bokuto-san. Truly magnificent.”

“Hey you aren’t even looking!”

Sighing, he turned and Bokuto flexed with a huge grin on his face. Keiji really pitied the poor fabric as it hung on for dear life, breathing its last as Bokuto’s bicep made it cry out for mercy.

“Very amazing.”
“You could be a little more sincere, you know.” he huffed, crossing his arms.
“Okay what would you like me to say?”
“That isn’t sincere! You’re asking me what I wanna hear!”

“Alright I’ll be serious this time then.”
“Okay, go!”
“You’ve actually become a lot more muscular Bokuto-san.”

“Mhm mhm. Keep going.”

“That’s pretty much all I had to say.”
“Oh come on!” he huffed, the spikes in his hair losing their posture. 

“Well I also think your maths has gotten better.”

“Hehe.”
“Even if you did fail the test before the summer camp.”
“Hey!” 

“At least you try more now.”
“I have to! College is no joke.”
“I’m proud of you Bokuto-san.” Akaashi said softly, looking at the base of the row of seats in front of them, not wanting to meet his eyes. “What’s worrying gonna do, huh?”
Beside him, Bokuto chuckled, flopping his head down on Keiji’s shoulder, bringing a small smile to his face.
“See? I say smart things too sometimes.”
“Yes but if I admit it, your head will become twice the size of what it is now.”

“Akaashi, why’d you learn so much from Kurooooo??” He groaned, hiding his face in the crook of Keiji’s neck.
“Just keeping a piece of your best friend around when he’s not there to annoy you.”
“Hm, Kuroo’s not my best friend. You are.”
Despite himself, Akaashi felt a wave of smug satisfaction, but he was determined to not let it show.

“You can have more than one best friend.”
“You’re still like my best best friend though.”

“Thank you Bokuto-san.”
Being called Bokuto’s best friend made him feel the same jump in his heartbeat that he had felt when referred to as ‘my setter’. It was a strange acknowledgement, one he was entirely unaccustomed to. All his life he had been making efforts, but he himself often didn’t recognise it since there wasn’t anyone to properly address it. However, here he was, the same as he had always been, but finding himself meaning so many things to a single person.

“Are you excited to go against nekoma in the qualifying matches?”
“Of course! Didn’t you see Yaku in the training camp, he’s really at the top of his game.”

“Karasuno too, I expect.”

“Aaah, I miss that little shorty.”

“You miss Hinata because he idolises you.”

“His jump is awesome. I wish I could jump like that.”

“If you jump like him, I feel like you’d land in the other team’s court, Bokuto-san.”

“Do you think he has a higher reach than me?”

“It’s unlikely.”

“He’s probably going to grow more, right?”

“I don’t think he will catch up to you, so don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried.” Corrected Bokuto. “I wanna beat him when he’s trained a lot more.”

“Who knows, maybe you will. Or maybe you might end up on the same team.”

“Do you think he’s going to play after school’s over?”

Remembering the little time they had with the short middle blocker, Akaashi tried to muster what details he could. 

Kuroo had already spoken about how Hinata thought the transmission tower was the Tokyo Skytree, so it would not be a stretch to assume Hinata was not overly fond of studying. The way his hazel eyes had sparkled each time he, or especially. Bokuto said something to him, Hinata probably was highly motivated to improve. Adding to the fact that he was voluntarily at a disadvantageous 3v3 but only took it as a challenge confirmed he considered the sport in a perspective similar to Bokuto. Not to mention the eagerness in trying rebounds, feints, and wipe out spikes, he was far more interested in practice than the first years in most of the other teams. This was despite being a regular, which showed that he clearly played and practised for the sake of playing volleyball. 

“Yes, I’m quite sure of it.”

“That quick is insaaaane, I wish I could do it.”
“It’s not you actually Bokuto-san. With a little practice I’m sure you could do it.”

“Really?”
“As frightening as hitting that set is, you have enough experience to be able to try it out. The issue here is that I would not be able to set that up for you any time soon.”
“I think you’re underestimating yourself again.”
“And I think you’re overestimating my abilities, Bokuto-san.”
“Hmmm. I don’t think so.” He refuted. “Even if it isn’t for the tournament, doesn’t seeing it make you wanna try it out?”
Falling silent, Akaashi couldn’t help but think of Kageyama Tobio. At this point, in terms of skill, Bokuto did not have very far to go, while Akaashi still had many miles left if he wanted to catch up. Even if he was a little further ahead mentally. Considering where they were, he couldn’t help but feel that he could not be of further help to Bokuto. Any plays Bokuto wanted to try out were limited by Keiji’s skill, not his own.

Akaashi would be shocked if there wasn’t any kind of resentment towards him.
“I wanna play against the Myans.” Said Bokuto, suddenly shifting the topic.
“Myans…? Do you mean the Miya twins?”
“OH. Yeah them.”
“They were the runners up for the interhigh. They’ll get seeded into the second round without having to play any of the qualifiers.”
“Yeaaah, we gotta play Nekoma first.”

“And we can’t afford to not take them seriously.” Reminded Akaashi. “Kuroo-san has a lot of experience playing against you.”

“Yeah, yeah I know. But I’m not gonna give him the satisfaction of winning.”

“Your vocabulary is quite impressive today.”

“I know right? I think it was all the studying yesterday.”

“At this point, you’re going to start talking more eloquently than me.”

Dumbfounded, Bokuto blinked blankly at him, clearly lost at the word eloquent.

“I guess I overestimated-“
Groaning, Bokuto held his head in his hands, and Akaashi patted his back a few times. 

“It’s okay, you’ve come quite far, Bokuto-san.”

“Can you just give my college exams for me ‘Kaashi?”

“Depends.”

“Wait, you'll do it?”

“I will consider it. Only if we win.”

“Doesn’t that mean you wouldn’t want to win cause it means extra work for you?”

“Who knows?” Shrugged Akaashi, trying not to smile at the aghast expression on Bokuto’s face.

Nearly hysterical, he grabbed Akaashi’s arm and swayed him back and forth while whining, “Don’t stress me out like thiiissssss!”

Letting his whining run out, Akaashi gave in to the tugging until Bokuto ultimately gave up and petulantly pouted off to the side.

Glancing up at the little screen near the roof of the train, he realised Bokuto’s station was next.

All of a sudden, the gleam of the train’s white lights seemed a little too stark, as if the warmth had been stolen from them. For no considerable reason, there was a bitter taste in his mouth as the train was about to slow to a stop. 

Just as Bokuto had stood up and was about to slip his bag on his shoulder, Akaashi grabbed the edge of his sleeve and stopped him. On edge, his body had gone rigid like the taut string of a longbow. He could not help but hold his breath as Bokuto glanced down towards him, eyebrows raised quizzically.

“Uh, Bokuto-san?”

“Hm?”

“Do you wanna sleep over?”

Almost comically, the spikes in his hair grew stiff, eyes lighting up like those of an ecstatic puppy. 

Instead of slipping the bag on, he left it on his seat as he stared at Akaashi, utterly taken aback.

 “No way, really?!”

“Yeah. I mean we didn’t really study anything today and…

Akaashi let his words drift off as he saw Bokuto was lost in his own little world as he did a little spin and slipped back into his seat just as the train was starting. 

“Wah, I can’t believe you’re asking me this!”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean it’s you! You don’t like sleeping with other people around. Plus you don’t like being around people more than you have to. I can’t believe you’re asking me to sleep over. Are you okay?!”

Ignoring the latter part of Bokuto’s little monologue, he couldn’t help but feel a pang of guilt when reality sunk in. All that Bokuto had said did hold true, and he really hadn’t made any inclination towards enjoying the company of others more than he had to.

“I-I’m sorry I made it seem like I don’t want you around Bokuto-san…”

“Hey, I didn-”

“It’s the first time I’ve asked someone for a sleepover.” he admitted quietly, however Bokuto replied with redoubled enthusiasm. 

“You’re my first sleepover too!”

“Wait really?”

“Yup!”

“I must admit I’m kinda excited.”

“Do you wanna watch a movie?”

“We’re sup-”

“There’s that studio ghibli one I haven’t seen, and it’s not that long either… Let’s watch that one!”

“Alright, which one?” sighed Akaashi, a little relieved at the prospect of not having to study.

“Uh, some flying house…”

“Are you talking about the disney movie?”

“No!” Refuted Bokuto, eyes burning with determination. “No, there’s definitely some house that moves.”

Racking his brain, he could only come to one conclusion, and he tried his best not to laugh as he vocalised it.

“Do you mean Howl’s moving castle?”

“YEAH THAT! Man, you always know what I’m thinking, that's so cool.”

“It’s n- I- thank you.” 

Satisfied, Bokuto leaned back against the seat, hands behind his head as he became silent again. However, like always, it did not last very long. 

“Wait!” He gasped. “I don’t have any clothes.”

“You can take mine.”

“Really?!”

“Did you really think I was going to make you sleep in your sweaty gym clothes?”

“Uh…”

“I’m genuinely hurt right now.”

“What about my uniform?”

“We can either wash it or drop by Bokuto-san’s house tomorrow before school.”

“Wait we have to go to my house anyway, cause my food-”

“Hey, I have food at home!”

“Yeah but my lunch..”

“Either we pack it for you or we can stop by your house in the morning, Bokuto-san.” Reminded Akaashi. 

“Yeah but I don’t wanna annoy you.”
“A small detour won’t annoy me.”
“Hm how big does it have to be to be annoying?”
“I will admit that I don’t know.”
“Come on! You must have some clue!”
Shrugging, he sank back in his seat, as Bokuto let out a little huff beside him.

“I don’t think my oka-san will let you leave the house without at least a few boxes of food though.” Admitted Akaashi, not willing to admit his reluctance to make a detour, even if it was just to Bokuto’s house. “So I wouldn’t worry too much about this.”

“Okay.”
Strangely, Bokuto was quiet for the rest of the train ride. Even more unsettlingly, he did not immediately strike up conversation as they descended the platform, and chose only to look up at the velvety night sky. Considering it was growing colder each day, it would not be surprising to find clouds in the sky, ready to burst and let out a shower of snowflakes at any given point in time. However, today the sky was completely clear, with nothing to obstruct the view of the gem studded masterpiece blanketing them.

By the time they reached his house, Akaashi could barely keep his hands still as his thoughts ran at a speed faster than he could follow. Had he said something to upset Bokuto? There was no reason for him not to talk. What if he was festering over something he said, or the tone? Keiji always had issues with the tone, so ma-

Okay. Calm down.

Well, there was no reason to fill every moment with conversation either, however he had grown so used to it that he could not help but feel troubled. Considering how long they had been friends, Bokuto had grown to his bluntness so it would not affect him so suddenly out of nowhere. HTere was also no indication that today was a bad day for him at any given point.  He had come to rely on the absence of that silence, and he was not quite ready to face it again.

Keiji only grew more agitated as Bokuto met his parents with their comfortable ease, and did not directly speak to him. Did they not notice something was amiss? 

Almost immediately, Akaashi’s mother sent Bokuto on his way to shower before dinner, and Keiji wanted to do the same. However, before going himself, he had to dig in his closet for clothes that would fit Bokuto.

All his clothes, which were slightly large for him considering his physique, would probably be quite fitted and may end up being uncomfortable for him, so he kept searching. It wasn’t until he found the sweatshirt given to him by his father that he was satisfied, and dug out a pair of loose track pants as well. 

Since Bokuto had been led to the guest shower, Keiji quickly made his way down the stairs and left the clothes on the little stool beside the door. Since he too had to bathe, he shuffled up the stairs, scuffling into the shower as he washed himself without thinking.

Carrying his towel to hang it on the little stand in his room, he hung it up, straightening it out befo-

“I’ve never seen your room.”

Akaashi nearly jumped out of his skin as he turned to find Bokuto standing in the doorway, mouth slightly agape as he looked around in wonder.

“Never??”
“Nope. We’ve always kinda been downstairs.”
“Are you really telling me you haven’t seen my room for 2 years and you didn’t say something before this?” He asked incredulously. “No way you have that kinda patience Bokuto-san.”
“You haven’t seen my room either.” Reminded Bokuto.

“Wow, this is really disturbing…”

“Hey! Why are you being so dramatic?”
“I’m being incredibly serious right now.”

Suspicious, Bokuto pouted his lips as he glared at him with narrow eyes.

“I have good news for you though, Bokuto-san.”
“Oh?”
“You’ve gotten better at sensing sarcasm.”
“It’s all ‘cause of you. You don’t know how to talk properly.”
Shrugging, he stepped away from the small clothes rack and walked to the divan which was set against the wall with the only window in his room. Without any prompt, Bokuto followed suit, and they sat together, wordlessly staring out the window.

Since they lived a little ways out of the city, the sky was relatively less blocked out by the light. Despite the haze of illumination in the distance, the stars in the sky were quite visible, which was a pleasant occurrence.

Many times, on nights just like today, Akaashi sat on the same divan, with a small warm reading light and blanket, curled up with his favourite book. Although these nights were definitely beautiful, his favourite days were when there was incessant rain, and he had no work to do except sit and enjoy his favourite novels with the gentle sound of raindrops pitted against his window. It was out of his desire to wait for such nights that he was extremely particular about keeping the window clean.

However, on some nights, he decided to forgo the company of books and sat with his headphones blocking out all noise, and getting lost within the distorted world through the haze of rain.

“Bokuto-san?”
“Hm?”
“You’re being kinda quiet today.”
True to form, he didn’t answer that either.

Bashful, Keiji didn’t know what to say without feeling awkward, so he decided to say nothing at all. 

Even though he tried his best to join Bokuto in just looking outside, Akaashi couldn’t help but steal glances towards him.

Instead of the usual warm glow that always seemed to emanate from him, it had turned into a more subdued silvery aura. The closest he could come to describing it was possibly, ‘melancholic’.

Even the usual confident demeanour seemed to have simmered down. Tonight, in the dim light of the moon and stars, he looked like nothing more than a normal high school student worrying about the future.

“Do you ever feel really lonely?” Asked Bokuto softly, a hint of unsureness in his words as if he was reluctant to concede it.

“More than I care to admit.” Confessed Akaashi, his voice barely more than a whisper. However, when he saw the mane of hair on Bokuto’s head lose its proud height, he felt compelled to add more to his statement. “But, less than before.”
“Me too…”

“A lot of the time, even though I know I can just bring up my problems with someone, I just never do it.”
“I get it.” Sighed Bokuto. “Even though I know I can ask my sisters, or my oka-san. I don’t think they’ll get it.”
“Really? I thought having siblings might make it easier.”

“Oya, don’t take it the wrong way! They’re really supportive and all, but…”
Trailing off, Bokuto didn’t seem unsure of himself, but more like he was hesitating in speaking the truth he didn’t want to admit out loud.

“But..”
“It’s embarrassing.”
“What is?”
“That I’m having problems. After my dad wasn’t there anymore, they made sure I had everything and that I didn’t have to worry about anything. And, I'm still complaining about stuff. Doesn’t seem right…”

“It’s not really about right or wrong. You can’t help feeling the way you do, Bokuto-san.” Akaashi reminded him. All the while, he tried reminding himself of it too. “Feelings are feelings, they don’t have to be wrong or right to affect you.”
Falling silent again, Bokuto refused to look his way, and did not make any indication of speaking any time soon.

Although he knew sometimes space was the only way to sort out the muddle of thoughts that often plagued a person, the instinct to bring Bokuto out of his melancholic shell was something that he had developed over 2 years and was hard to suppress.

“You know, Bokuto-san…” he began tentatively, “you can always talk to me.”
Tilting his head to the side, he watched Akaashi like a large speckled owl, unnervingly silent and irises that seemed to bore through his very being.

“You have things too.”
“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to help you.”
His face hardened a little, and Akaashi knew he misspoke as Bokuto furrowed his eyebrows and he snapped back at him. “I don’t need help Akaashi.”

“I’m sorry, that’s not what I meant.” He conceded quickly, taken aback at the sudden reaction. “I just meant I’m there for you.”
As if shocked by his own behaviour, his face eased considerably, and he looked back out of the window, his tensed shoulders relaxing once more. However, Akaashi could not help but hold his breath as Bokuto shifted, his arm extended as he pointed towards the night sky.

Honestly, he had often thought about just taking the time out and sitting with Bokuto and admiring the stars. Tonight was an amazing opportunity, considering how clear the sky was. Every single 

Shuffling a little closer, Akaashi followed the line of sight and found a lonely star twinkling a little ways away from any of the other constellations.

“I feel like that.” He said adamantly, and Akaashi knew he meant all the implications that came with it.

The star was bright enough for its light to reach them, but from here it stood all alone, with no one around to make it more noticeable. It must have taken considerable observation to find such a star, but it clearly lacked the grandeur and importance that stars in a major constellation would have, which annoyed Keiji slightly.

“You know Bokuto-san, there’s a really high chance that the star has planets around it. It’s probably not as alone as it looks.” He pointed out. “It might look like it’s alone, but for all we know it's got a whole solar system, with more planets than ours.”

Pouting, Bokuto rested his chin on the palm of his hand as he continued to avoid Keiji’s eyes.

“Well, I didn’t feel like that after you came to school, y’know… But I’m leaving soon, and it just feels like I’m kinda gonna be alone again.”

Akaashi’s stomach seemed to drop to his feet as he felt his face heat up, making him grateful for the dim lighting.

Although, for most of his life, words had been his saving grace, the one thing he could always fall back on no matter what. But, his life long companions chose now to abandon him, so he chose to do something entirely against his own perception of himself.

Crawling forward, he hesitantly put his arms around Bokuto, who immediately tensed.

They had hugged before, but always fleetingly, driven by the heat of the moment. A winning point, an impossible spike, a point they had thought to lose, a match they never believed they could conquer. Never had it been so lucidly, and never so intimate.

Embarrassed, Keiji loosened his hold and was about to move away, but Bokuto held him in place, arms actually wrapping around him to hold him closer than Akaashi had dared.

This, decided Akaashi, was much better than any embrace on the court, where the eyes of the world stared them down. 

“Bokuto-san I’m actually kinda hurt that you think I won’t be friends with you after you graduate.” He said calmly, hoping his tone would help calm himself down so that Bokuto wouldn’t hear the wild and erratic beating of his heart.
“M’sorry..”
“Don’t apologise. It’s partly my fault if I let you feel that way at all.”
“You’re not responsible for my feelings.” He reminded Keiji.

“You’re right about that…” he murmured, pressing his head against Bokuto’s, who just held him a little tighter. 

Akaashi always ran a little cold, and he was constantly reminded of it growing up. But the way Bokuto hugged him, so warm and so solidly, it felt that any piece of him that had been in danger of falling out was firmly put back in place, making him feel more sure of himself than he had for months.

At this point Keiji must admit he was growing a little uncomfortable, considering there was not enough room to breathe. However, as he felt the rise and fall of Bokuto’s warm back against his forearms, and felt how he left all tension in his body behind as Akaashi held him, it was more than worth it.

“I know you think you gotta help me bring out my 100% when we play, but I gotta do it without you too, Akaashi.”

Although Bokuto was only repeating the same advice Akaashi had given him time and time again, he felt a hollowness blossoming in his chest, slowly filling with dread. It was beyond irrational, and Keiji knew this. He also knew that Bokuto didn’t exactly need him, and that he was feeding into a dependency that would have to change. However, the realisation that he wasn’t concretely needed felt like a blow he was not ready for.

A part of Akaashi hated himself for that.
“It doesn't hurt to have some help though.”

Scoffing, Bokuto pulled away, his usual golden glow once again bright as he grinned at Akaashi. And even though that made the room seem all the more brighter, he couldn’t help but feel his arms go cold as Bokuto’s warmth receded.

Nonetheless, without any persuasion, he returned the smile.

“Man Akaashi, you really always know what to do.”

“You flatter me.”
Sticking out his tongue playfully, he stood up and stretched before loudly complaining about how hungry he was. Amused, Akaashi just smiled to himself as he followed Bokuto out of the room, but was surprised to find that he had stopped with just one foot out the door. The hallways were much brighter than his own room, where he had not thought to spend enough time before dinner to deign to switch on the lights. However, out here he could see the little dust of pink on Bokuto’s fair skin and Keiji resisted the urge to touch his cheek.

“Thanks for that, ‘Kaashi.”
“Anytime.” 

After that, they didn’t really get much opportunity to talk, wrapped up in conversation with Akaashi’s parents, and logistics for the following morning. The only time they got, was when they were finally heading back to Keiji’s room, feet dragging lazily across the marble stairs as their weariness caught up with them.

“You… you can take the bed Bokuto-san.” Murmured Akaashi, trying to stifle a yawn as he rubbed his tired eyes.

“Where will you sleep?”
“I’ll get a futon for the fl-”

“Nu-uh.” He interrupted. “I’m not gonna make you sleep on the floor.”
“It’s alright Bokuto-san.”
“No, what kinda senpai would I be if I made you sleep on the floor?!” He asked incredulously. 

Just as Akaashi opened his mouth to answer, Bokuto shut him down almost immediately. “The worst kind! That’s what! You’re not gonna sleep on the floor!”

“We’re in my house, I won’t let a guest sleep on the floor.”

“Fine!” Huffed Bokuto, crossing his arms as he plopped on the bed.
“Fine.”

After Keiji replied, there was a moment of silence, followed by Bokuto’s confused voice.
“Wait, what does that mean?”
“It means,” sighed Akaashi, “that we’re both sleeping on the bed.”
“Ahhhhh.”
“You okay with that?”
“Oh yeah I don’t mind. I shared a bed with my sisters a lot.” reassured Bokuto, but the fact that he was comparing laying next to Akaashi like laying next to his sister was both reassuring yet hurtful.

“Alright, separate blankets though.”
“Okay.”
After the conversation ended, Akaashi could not help but feel giddy as he got ready for bed. It only became worse as after Bokuto got in, there was barely any space on the small twin bed for him, and the only option was to be squeezed in beside the older boy the entire time. Try as he might, there was no angle at which he could place himself where he was not touching Bokuto. Even though it was through a layer of two blankets, it made the giddiness worse, to a point where he felt he would not be able to sleep at all.

“Shame we couldn’t watch the movie, huh?”
“Oh yea! I completely forgot about that.”
Chuckling to himself, Akaashi wiggled in a way that let him face Bokuto, who immediately trained his luminescent gold eyes towards him.

There was a small sliver of window that failed to be covered by the curtain, which allowed a thin column of silvery moonlight to fall where Bokuto lay. Although it was a little hazy, Akaashi could not help but admire how perfectly the light curved on every part of him. He looked as if he had just stepped out of a painting, one that Akaashi could spend every minute of the rest of his life working on but it would never live up to the real thing. 

It was then that the fact that there was practically no distance between them really sunk in, and Keiji’s stomach took the time to perform a poor set of somersaults. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, Bokuto-san…”
“Hm?”
“You said your dad left…”
“Oh, he had a car accident when I was like 4.”
“Ah…”
Unsure of what to say, Akaashi averted his eyes, but Bokuto quickly grabbed his attention back.

“Don’t say ‘I’m sorry.’” He blurted out, no doubt the urgency fuelled by how sick he must be of hearing that.
“Don’t worry Bokuto-san, I wasn’t going to.” reassured Akaashi. “Do you miss him?”
Thinking for a moment, Bokuto looked up at the ceiling as if bashful of meeting his gaze.

“I don’t really remember him..” he admitted softly, so much so that Keiji would have probably missed the reply if he had not been waiting for it. “Hiroto, and Sora, Oka-san also, they talk about him a lot. A lot of it is what he was like before I was born, but they keep trying to remind me about the time he had with me too.”

“That must be hard for you.”
“I feel bad that I can’t remember him properly.”
“No one really remembers what their life was like when they were 4, Bokuto-san. Please don’t think you’re weird for not being able to.”
Turning back towards him, Bokuto simply sighed, inching forward slightly so his forehead brushed against Akaashi’s hand which lay between them.

Keiji’s heart skipped a beat. Suddenly the sound of the insects buzzing outside his window seemed deafening, and the glow of Bokuto’s eyes in the moonlight a little too bright. 

Afraid that Bokuto would back away if he did nothing, Akaashi twisted his hand slightly, letting his fingers brush the silvery strands. 

“Are you close to your dad?”

“Oh… uh, not really.” He admitted. “I’m not exactly close to my mom either.”

“Why?”

“Well, they were never around until recently. They used to work a lot, so I spent a lot of time at school or with babysitters. I don’t blame them. Not really.. I know they worked really hard to get me the life I have right now. So, I can’t blame them.”

Quite unlike himself, he felt his eyes sting, and was surprised to feel a tear escape the edge of his left eye. Embarrassed, he was about to snatch his hand away from near Bokuto and wipe it away, but he never got the opportunity.

Before he knew it, Bokuto’s thumb was gently wiping the tear over the bridge of his nose.

“Y’know ‘Kaashi, you’re really cute.”

“You have strange timing Bokuto-san.” He sniffled indignantly as Bokuto’s hand receded. 

“No I mean iiit. Like looking at you, you look like this tall cool guy who doesn’t feel anything-”

“I feel a little offended.”

“-but you’re actually really cute.”

Blinking for a moment, he felt vulberable since for once his brain had absolutely nothing to offer.

“T-thank you?”

Letting out a small hehe , he wiped off another stray tear off Akaashi’s face.

“Y’know you’re actually a little bit of a cry baby.” Pointed out Bokuto, and Akaashi let out an undignified huff. 

“Am not!”

“Don’t lie! Remember last year when we won the qualifiers? You were crying before I touched the ground after spiking.”

“I wasn’t crying!”

“Hm okay.”

“You don’t sound sincere at all.”

“Because you’re a crybaby-”

Akaashi was about to cut him off but Bokuto just put his hand over his mouth.

“-and there’s nothing bad about that!”

Pouting, he crossed his arms and turned onto his back, looking at the ceiling instead of Bokuto. 

“You barely used to smile.” Complained Bokuto, poking him. 

“No way.” Lied Akaashi, knowing full well that was true. 

“The first time I saw you smile was when you gave me that mean smile after doing a dump against me in practice.”

“Okay fine maybe you have a point.”

“The next time was when I tripped while coming inside the gym.”

“Alright, alright I’ll admit I was weird.”

“You’re just mean.”

“Hm, maybe a little.”

“You’re nice too.”

Butterflies fluttered in Akaashi’s stomach and he felt his skin heat up a bit. 

“Bokuto-san you’re throwing a lot of mixed signals.” 

“You’re a lot of things.”

“Everyone is.”

“To me. I mean.”

Once again, Bokuto demonstrated the ability of being able to wring out Akaashi’s brain to the point where he could think of nothing that could be said. 

Well, there were many things that could be said, none of which guaranteed that he would still have Bokuto as his best friend tomorrow. 

So he settled for the ever worthwhile, “oh.”

Silence settled over them, and Akaashi found it unbearable. However, he really could not think of anything to say.

“I hope we win.” Bokuto yawned, turning to lay on his stomach. “I know it might not matter that much to yo-”

“Me too.” He interrupted softly. “I may not want to play professionally but winning with you, and this team, matters to me.”

Chuckling, Bokuto shut his eyes and shuffled a final time before falling silent. It was not until Akaashi was sure that he was asleep that he turned to look, wanting Koutaro to be the last thing he sees before shutting his eyes. 

Akaashi had never before had trouble with coming to terms with the concept of a limit.

Sometime in his second year, he found himself struggling to fall asleep, despite being in familiar surroundings. It had happened to him once before, right after returning from his first training camp.

It was quite unlike him, he who treasured personal space, to miss the touch of someone who utterly disregarded it. After the first time, the second training time hit him harder, leaving him aching to have someone beside him. From experience, he knew that the feeling would soon fade away, but Akaashi hated every moment it lingered.

It was during this sleepless night where Akaashi reflected on the concept of stretching out a moment into one with no conceivable limit.

The rational part of him did not hesitate in reminding him that time would not halt, simply because he willed it to. However, he knew the longer he reflected on a memory, the more it would stretch out, letting him wring out a new detail which had slipped his notice.

Fate it seemed, had decreed a finite number of moments Akaashi could only stretch so far.

Following his sombre teammates as they piled into the bus, Akaashi furtively wiped the tears from his face. Not that it mattered, since they had already seen him cry when the final whistle went off. All of Japan must have seen him cry when they slung the silver medal over his neck. Had it been gold, the tears might have been taken for joy. Instead, they marked his face with defeat.

Even as he ascended the small metal steps of the bus, he averted his eyes from those of his teammates. He did not have the strength to bear the shame of knowing he contributed to seeing the heartbreak on their faces. He did not want to face their reassurances which would do nothing except pass through from one ear to another.  Although he did not see it, he could hear it in the heavy silence which hung over them like a smothering shroud.

Biting his lip, he tightened his grip on the strap of his bag to a point where it became almost painful, and settled by the window, keeping his eyes trained on his knees.

Through the open door of the bus, he could hear the cheers of the other team echoing in the cold winter air. Compared to the heavy footsteps of his friends, they seemed buoyant and weightless, as if their voices were birds ready to take fligh-

“Kaashi?”

Squeezing his eyes shut, his hands curled painfully around the fabric of his track pants. How could he face the person he’d let down the most?

“Oi, Kaashi.” repeated the voice, a little more insistent. “Look at me.”

As the bus began moving, Keiji drew in a shaky breath before mustering enough courage to glance to his side. 

As always, Bokuto sat by his side, stoically forcing conversation when others would succumb to the melancholic atmosphere. His gold eyes no longer gleaming as they did on the court, robbed of their gold lustre for a dull amber. After the intense game, some of his speckled hair was coming loose of its signature style, lightly falling over his forehead and ears. In front of Bokuto’s liquid silver hair, the medal looked like the dullest steel. Had it been someone else, they could not have made out the sombre tilt in Bokuto’s behaviour. For Akaashi, it simply contributed as a sharp reminder of their defeat.

“You really gotta stop thinking sometimes.”

“Bokuto-san…”

“Are you crying about losing?” he asked in a flat voice, shifting his eyes from Akaashi’s face to the window. “You told me you know what you did wrong this time. You’ll get there next year.”

“Are you saying I shouldn’t cry over losing, Bokuto-san?”

Contemplating for a moment, Bokuto’s face scrunched as he pouted. For a moment, the only noise between them were Akaashi’s dying sniffles. “No. You can cry.”

Feeling a fresh wave of tears, Keiji looked away, dabbing at his eyes with the edge of his sleeve. It was not as much about losing, but rather missing out on the opportunity to see his team, to see Bokuto, get the gold they worked so hard for. More about his utter inability to control himself when the time came to be there for them. 

“Bo-Bokuto-san?”

“Hm?”

“Aren’t you upset with me?”

“‘Why should I be?” he asked, genuinely confused by the question. “I missed so many spikes. I know I’m unpredictable when it comes to games. You keep scolding me about this too. Shouldn’t you be the one mad at me?”

Too astounded to address his tears, Akaashi turned to look at Bokuto. The spiker’s face had eased into something wistful. If he held any sadness over the loss their team had suffered, it was not apparent. 

Bokuto’s ability to always be able to look towards the future was something frightening to him. Before he had come to realise it, Akaashi had found himself terrified of being left behind.

“We can both be upset with each other.” He offered, attempting to lighten the ache in his heart, but to no avail.

“Well it won’t work ‘cause I’m not upset wit-”

“How can you be like this, Bokuto-san?” Interrupted Keiji softly. “How do you just keep moving forward?”

“Is there anything for me if I just sit and think about everything I did wrong?”

Akaashi receded for a moment to collect his thoughts, not ready to resign his position.

“Yeah, but you still need to learn from it.”

“You did. Didn’t you?” He echoed, eyes sparkling at the challenge. “Just ‘cause I don’t wanna keep remembering it doesn’t mean I didn’t learn from it, Akaashi.”

“How do you…”

Raising his eyebrows expectantly, Bokuto waited for him to continue, but the words died in his throat.

“Bokuto-san… I- I couldn’t help you wh-when it mattered. I-”

“Are you saying all the matches before didn’t matter? We-”

“This was your last match!” interrupted Akaashi in frustration, feeling hot tears streak down his face. “Your last match, and I let you down!”

Training his amber eyes on Keiji, Bokuto’s gaze seemed to strip him down to his very core, sending an involuntary shudder through his body. Akaashi could feel the barriers he had put up in his mind crumble under his gaze. He had tried, really. He had tried to keep a little distance from the star that had entered his life, because it wasn’t his place or his right to do anything that could hurt him. However, Koutarou really did make it difficult. 

Without a word, Bokuto reached out and pulled Akaashi towards him. 

God he really did make it difficult. 

Tensing from utter shock, he took a moment to unweave the knots which had formed in his tensed muscles. Holding him tightly against his chest, Bokuto said nothing as Akaashi let his tears fall, dampening the fabric of his t-shirt which peaked out above the club jacket. The smell of muscle spray which lingered from when Konoha applied it beside Koutaro stung his nose, but he paid it no mind. Instead, Keiji’s hands curled into the fabric of Bokuto’s jacket.

He did not know if he would get the opportunity to do so again.

“You keep forgetting about what we talked about that day, Kaashi. Why do you always think every match is one we have to win?”

Akaashi’s mind went back to the most recent time Bokuto had pointed this out to him, their match against Mujinazaka. The despair of being benched, even if it was for close to 6 points in its entirety, was second only to the sense of loss burning in his chest now.

“It’s easy to lose sight of what’s important sometimes.”

Bokuto’s grip on his shoulder tightened, pressing Keiji closer to him. Koutaro’s collarbone was pressed painfully against his jaw, but he could not have cared less at that moment.

“Y’know. You can’t let yourself get down ‘cause of every single point you lose. Volleyball isn’t the kinda game where you can win without losing any points.”

Letting out a sigh, Akaashi shut his tired eyes as fresh tears slipped out of their corners. His minute, “I know” was muffled by Bokuto’s jacket, but Keiji knew that he would understand it anyway. 

“I won’t get to toss to you again, Bokuto-san…”

“Oya? What’re you saying?” protested Bokuto, letting Akaashi hear his frown. After a moment in silence where Keiji did not know what words to fill the gap with, Bokuto suddenly burst out in a tone that did not normally belong to him.

“Akaashi-san, you’re not going to die or something, right?”

Stifling a laugh as Bokuto used his joke against him, Akaashi shifted a little closer until their sides were pressed together. Sometime before sitting beside him, Bokuto had placed Keiji’s bag on the other side. This left nothing to stop him from being held against Koutaro. 

“I plan on living till I’m 130 years old.” whispered Akaashi, bringing forth a burst of laughter from Bokuto’s chest.

“Did I do it right?” asked Bokuto excitedly, fingers drumming on Akaashi’s spine. 

“It was very well executed, Bokuto-san.” admitted Akaashi, fiddling with the zipper near the collar of Bokuto’s jacket. He could hear the fairy-like tinkle it made as it struck the zip as Koutaro chuckled. 

However, Bokuto’s reply after that exchange had taken place rang in his mind like the morning bell. 

We’re gonna win ‘em all.

Needless to say, at times even reality trumped Bokuto’s futuristic optimism.

What hurt the most was, they almost did.

As if sensing his returning unease, Bokuto’s hands tightened on Akaashi’s jacket. Keiji could not help but wish that his thoughts could be driven from his mind through a simple gesture. However, now was the best opportunity to try. 

“I’ll play with you whenever you want, Akaashi.” he promised, the words leaving Bokuto’s lips completely ignorant of what they meant to Keiji. Or far too aware.

“That might’ve been my last high school game. But, I’m not gonna stop playing just ‘cause high school’s over, remember?”

Absurdly, Akaashi felt a smile come on his lips, as he expected nothing less from him. It would have been ignorant of him to even think Bokuto would not continue playing volleyball. And, impossible to imagine.

“You’ll toss to me, won’t you?” asked Bokuto softly, resting head against Akaashi’s. “I know you don’t wanna play after high school, but you’ll play with me, right?”

“If you want me to, Bokuto-san.” admitted Keiji. “But I’m sure you’ll have setters way more talented than me waiting on you.”

“I don’t care about that.” dismissed Bokuto. “It doesn’t matter to me if you aren’t as good as them. I wanna keep playing with you.”

“Bokuto-san…”

“You will, won’t you?”

“I will.”

After that silent moment where Akaashi was able to ignore the guilt, Bokuto said the very words he had been dreading since they began playing together.

“Thanks for tossing to me, Kaashi.”

Letting out a sound that was somewhere between a sob and a chuckle, he lightly punched Bokuto’s chest as a fresh wave of tears hit him. 

“You can’t just say that Bokuto-san!” Chastised Akaashi. “You don’t get to say that right after you said you’ll play with me.”

“Hey! I just said thanks!” He protested, throwing his hands up in surrender, leaving Akaashi’s back cold as soon as his arms loosened. “You know I won’t get another setter like you, even when I play for some pro team or the other.”

“W-what do you mean?” Sputtered Keiji, and Bokuto immediately patted his back reassuringly. He could not tell whether the heat from his face was due to the tears or embarrassment. 

“I mean, ‘cause technically they’re gonna get paid to practise with me. You just did it. You didn’t have to. It was pretty… chivalrous.”

Unable to help himself, Akaashi burst into laughter, leaving Bokuto flabbergasted.

“Oi, I know why people didn’t practise with me. Why’d you keep doing it?”

Biting the inside of his mouth, Akaashi decided to stay silent, but the question loomed oppressively over him.

“Well, I’m not complaining, I just wanna know.”

Sighing, Akaashi fiddled with the zip, not wanting to make eye contact as he garnered enough strength to say what he wanted to.

“Akaashiiii.” Sang Bokuto, lightly nudging him with his head. “Won’t you tell mee?”

“Maybe…” Began Keiji, turning so the jacket muffled his voice. “I just wanted to.”

Silent for a moment, Bokuto thought so deeply that Akaashi could almost imagine the sound of spinning cogs from his head.

“You’re pretty weird, Akaashi.”

“You’re weird too Bokuto-san.”

Chuckling, Koutaro leaned back into his seat, leaving his arm slung over Akaashi’s shoulder. Since Keiji had no desire to move, he sat with his head still nestled within the crook of Bokuto’s neck.

Now that the last of his tears had been shed, he fought his hardest to keep his tired eyes from closing.

“Oi, Akaashi. D’you think I can still show up for practice.”

Finding a ridiculous smile growing on his face, Akaashi could not stop himself from imagining coach Yamiji failing spectacularly at physically holding Bokuto out of the gym.

“Even if you can't, I'm pretty sure no one would say anything if you did, Bokuto-san.”

“You’re gonna keep playing, right? At least in school?”

“Yeah, I think I will.” He reflected. “It’s not like I have a reason to stop.”

Debilitating for a moment, Bokuto cupped his chin in his hand, lost in deep thought.

“Don’t you like playing, Akaashi?”

“It’s become enjoyable.” He replied coyly, sure that Bokuto would not pursue a deeper explanation. “I didn’t always like it before.”

Pondering over his answer, Bokuto remained silent for a moment before continuing.
“Did I use chivalrous correctly?”

“Yup.”

Letting out a contented hum, Bokuto leaned back into his seat, utterly relaxed, as if he had not one care in this world. 

“Hey, now that I’m graduating, call me Koutaro?”

“What does graduating have to do with me calling you “Bokuto-san”, Bokuto-san?”

“I don’t like iiit.” He whined. “It’s like we don’t even know each other. We’re friends, right?”

“Yeah. We are.”

“Then call me Koutaro!”

“I-”

“You know what, I'll make it easier for you, I’m just gonna call you Keiji from now on. You’ll let me do that right?”

Akaashi’s heart skipped a beat at his proposal but he stayed silent, not trusting himself to say the correct words.

“You’re okay with it, right?”

“Yeah, Bokuto-san.”

“Arghhhh what’s it gonna take, Keijii. Do I have to bribe you to call me Koutaro?!”

“Depends on the bribe.”

Gently pushing him away, Bokuto tsked. 

“Oi you smug bastard! Stop toying with me!”

“I’ll do it for five onigi-”

“Done.” Koutaro interrupted impatiently, staring Akaashi down with his incessantly luminous eyes. “Now do it.”

Taken aback, he felt his face heat up as he was forced to maintain eye contact.

“I don’t get why it’s such a big deal for you… Koutaro-san.”

“Well, you use everyone’s last name all the time. Makes it feel kinda special.”

“You should have told me calling you by your first name was all it was gonna take to cheer you up. I could have saved so much time.”

“Can’t let you have everything now can I?”

“Bo-Koutaro-san I can barely figure you out.”

“Good.” He interrupted affirmatively. “That means you’re gonna stick around until you can figure me out.”

Taken aback, he took a moment to evaluate what to say. Somehow, with the tiredness in his limbs, and the burn of muscle spray in his nostrils, he felt a familiar flame burn within him. It was the warmth he felt seated beside the person he considered to shine the brightest and Keiji believed there was nothing wrong with letting him know that. 

“I’m not going anywhere. At least, not anytime soon.”

It was astonishing how quickly his words affected Bokuto, for the reaction was immediate. The lustre of his amber eyes returned, making them sparkle like luminous topaz gems. Akaashi wondered whether he would ever tire of watching those eyes look back at him as if he was the only one there. 

“Well. Neither am I.”

Chapter Text

Following the ball as it arced through the air in the spacious gymnasium, Akaashi prepared himself for a back set, a call instinctively leaving his lips.

“Bokuto-san!”

Well, shit. 

Chastising himself, he watched as the fresh starting first-year spiker hit a successful spike.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.” he said to no one in particular, still receiving a cacophony of replies.

Chastising himself, he took his position for the next point. This was the second slip he had made today, despite the fact that Bokuto was obviously not here.

After their conversation in the bus, Akaashi had obviously assumed Bokuto would have shown up to practice. However, Koutaro had not shown up to school, much less to practice.

It would have been amusing had he shown up to practice and not school. 

While the absence of the other third years did not sting, the lack of Koutaro’s loud presence was jarring. Although he did not mind eating alone, the sun seemed to have joined Bokuto in his absence, leaving dampened grey clouds floating heavily across the sky. After many many months he ate by himself and he enjoyed the silence.

Well, for the first five minutes.

After that his mind decided to think of every conceivable reason why Bokuto was not in school.

Was he sick? Tired? Maybe his family wanted to take him somewhere. 

There was a fleeting thought of kidnapping but that was so ridiculous he disregarded it. 

A possibility even smaller than kidnapping was that he was studying for entrance exams. 

Of course while their practice was going on, he could not let his mind wander so those thoughts were left on the empty staircase. 

Soon enough he was immersed enough that his thoughts were only of the teammates around him and Afterwards, as usual he lingered by his bag, waiting for the gym to empty itself out before-

“Akaashi-san, aren’t you gonna help?”

turning around, he saw the rest of the team quickly erasing traces of their presence.

“Wait, but Bokuto-san…”

He trailed off mid sentence, reminded once again that he did not have to practise until it was time for the last train to leave. He did not have to practise since there was no one who made him want to stay for extra practice like Bokuto. 

“Akaa-“

“Yeah, I’ll be right there.”

Shaking his head, as if physical stimulation would dispel his melancholic thoughts, he helped clean up the gym, and lingered till he was the last one standing with the keys to the lock on the gym door. All around him his teammates grumbled about the blinding flash of lightning, followed lazily by a deafening thunderclap. However, Akaashi could not register it, for he was too busy nurturing the hollow sensation in his chest.

What was wrong with him? He saw Bokuto every day. Hell, it hadn’t even been 24 hours since he had last seen him, why was he so worried? Of course he was fine there was probably nothing physically wrong. 

Ignoring offers to share umbrellas, Keiji walked slowly towards the train station, feeling the cool drops of the spring shower slip through his clothes. Bokuto had taken his umbrella, and he hadn’t returned it yet. 

The air had taken the crisp smell of foliage freshened by the falling rain. Unlike his usual walks to the train station, Bokuto was not there beside him, determined to take the full brunt of the rain with no care of getting sick. Instead the streets were full of voices, none of which could provide the familial tone of Koutaro’s.

Sitting in the earlier train with the rest of his team, he tried his best to participate in conversation but their words seemed to slip past him. All he was left with was the discomfort of his slightly soaked clothing pressing against his skin, leaving him sporadically shivering. At some point, all the voices around him seemed to ring in his ears, even as he tried to shake his head to calm his mind. The soothing calm of the rain had been drowned out by the cacophony of voices around him. 

Before he knew what he was doing, he got off on Bokuto’s stop instead of his own, giving half-hearted goodbyes to the team. 

And ignoring their smug smiles. 

Despite the chill, it was comforting embracing the silence of the scantily populated station filled only with the sound of the falling rain.

Just as he stepped outside, the torrent of rain struck him full force, and within moments his clothes were weighed down by the water. Thankfully, he had enough sense to always carry a cover for his bag, saving him from the regret he would have felt with soaked notebooks and volleyball shoes.

Despite the walk being a mere ten minutes, on a normal day he would never have thought twice about it. It was even enjoyable. However, with his soaked clothes uncomfortably clinging to him, each step made him cringe as water sloshed in his shoes. 

Usually the narrow street lined with houses had a chaotically comforting presence. None of the houses looked the same, and their designs too differed. However, out of each ementated the warmth of a home, which always made the walk a pleasant experience.

Without Bokuto around, it was not easy to keep his thoughts at bay, especially since his feet did not need guidance to find the house.

What exactly had made him get off here? It was highly likely that Bokuto would show up tomorrow morning, same as always. 

However, a voice in the back of his mind reminded him that nothing would be the same. 

There was no tournament to train for. No more practice matches to hone their skills. Nothing to distract Akaashi from the gleaming medal his parents so proudly displayed, reflecting light off its silver surface like it was a prized gem. 

Silver. Not gold.

There was also the possibility that everything that has been said was in an adrenaline daze. Not that different from all the stupid shit people blurt when intoxicated. 

Keiji began teetering on the edge of the spiral he had found himself in this morning.

It had become some type of game to see who would show up to practice first, him or Bokuto. Akaashi would sometimes sit behind a pillar beside the gymnasium, letting Bokuto think he was first. This would especially take place around tournament season, since it seemed to affect his mood. 

His mind worked hard on trying to find an excuse as to what he would say to Koutaro, whether they were even at home. What if Bokuto wants time away from everything and Keiji was simply intruding so selfishly.

Akaashi was sure that if it had not been raining he would have turned back and left.

In hindsight, he was glad that he did not.

Shivering at the doorstep, he rang the bell, immediately hearing a flurry of activity from within the house. Bokuto’s oldest sister Hiroto’s voice emerged from the left side of the house yelling, “Kou! Get the door!”

Following a series of thuds, Bokuto’s voice broke through the veil of rain. Just hearing his voice seemed to thaw the chill that had seeped into his bones. “I’m going I’m going! Don’t yell ne-san!”

A few seconds later the door swung open, letting the golden light escape the confines of the walls and fall onto Akaashi. In the doorway, Bokuto stood, utterly confused, gaping at Keiji.

Akaashi did not know what he was expecting. A distraught Bokuto dressed in dull clothes? Him being desolately silent? Instead he stood there in an enviously comfortable hoodie and a pair of sweatpants. 

“Akaashi! What’re you doing here?!”

Akaashi did not know whether he wanted to slap him or hug him.

“Uhm, you have my umbrella.”

Oh my god I am so stupid.

Confused, Bokuto tilted his head to the side and raised an eyebrow.

“You came here while it was raining to take your umbrella back??”

No, of course not.

“Bokuto-san, why weren’t you in school?” He demanded, ignoring his question.

“Eh?! Did you come all the way here to ask me that??”

“I-”

“Kou-chan! Who is it?” Asked his mother, her voice seemingly coming from the kitchen.

“It’s Akaashi!”

A loud gasp audible over the downpour was followed by hurried footsteps as his mother appeared behind Koutaro.

“Bokuto Koutaro! Are you making your friend stand out in the rain?!” She reprimanded, gently smacking her son on the back of his head.

“Ow! No-”

Turning towards Akaashi, she stepped forward and pulled him inside by the elbow, not minding his drenched clothes.

“Oh, Keiji-chan, let's get you out of these clothes!” 

Blushing at the nickname, Akaashi stumbled behind her, clumsily kicking off his shoes.

“Aw look at you, you’re freezing. Why were you out in the rain without an umbrella?” Scolded Koutaro’s mother. 

Without waiting for a reply, she summoned Sora to take his bag and throw a towel on his wet hair, before she pushed him along with Bokuto.

“Ah, Bokuto-san, I have to tell my mother that-”

“Don’t worry about that, Keiji-chan I’ll let her know.” She reassured him, “Kou, let him take a hot shower, and give him some clothes, will you?”

Without a say in the matter, Akaashi was led up the stairs and into the last room on the left. Each time he had visited before, they had always studied in the living room with the kotatsu, or the low table.

Despite it having been two years, Akaashi had never implied he wanted to see Bokuto’s room, and there had never been an opportunity to bring it up.

When Koutaro opened the door, Akaashi held his breath, not knowing what to expect. Walls plastered with volleyball posters? Bare walls with no hint of the person living within them? Would the paint be dark, or a soothing pale colour?

It was none of those.

Actually, for the sake of accuracy, it was a bit of all of them.

There were many volleyball posters, but all restricted to one wall to the side of the bedroom door. To the right, his bed stood in the corner, with a wall sized window and a glass door leading out to the balcony. On the left was a large pinboard, and a desk below it. From here, Akaashi could only make out the glossy sheen of photographs, but could not make out the people captured within them. 

Just as he was about to take a step forward to the board, Bokuto spoke up. 

“Hey, Akaashi, you get inside the bathroom, I’ll put some clothes outside for you, okay?”

It was probably best he was stopped since he was about to drip water all the way over to the pristine desk. 

Turning towards him, Keiji gave him a grateful smile, “Thanks, Bokuto-san. And once again, I’m sorry for dropping by out of nowhere.”

Waving his hand dismissively, Koutaro turned toward his closet, rummaging through it. It was more organised than Akaashi expected. 

“Oya, you’re acting like this is the first you’ve come over.”

“Well first time this way.”

“What way?”

“Unplanned?”

“So? You can just come over you know.”

“That seems rude…”

“My sisters keep saying they like you more than they like me. They’re not gonna complain.” He cribbed with a huff. 

“Of course they do. I’m quite likable.”

Chuckling, Bokuto just shrugged before leading him to the bathroom. 

Stepping into the small room before his lips could say something unintelligent again, Akaashi stripped and stood beneath the hot shower. Although he could not make out how much time had passed, he bathed until he felt the chill from his bones had been beaten out by the warmth of the hot water.

As he was drying himself off, he noticed Bokuto had a vanilla scented body lotion Keiji had seen his cousin sister use once before. Curious, he took some in his palm and spread it over his hands. Akaashi was not one for scented lotions, however this left his skin as soft as his usual moisturiser so he found no harm in using it.

Just as he finished applying the last of it, a loud rap on the door made him jump.

“Hey, Kaashi, I’m keeping the clothes out here, okay?”

Cracking open the door, he poked his head out the side and stuck out his hand, “It’s alright just give them to me, Bokuto-san.”

Out of the corner of his eyes, Akaashi saw Bokuto blush as he averted his eyes, thrusting the clothes into his hand.

Murmuring a small thanks, he pulled his hand back inside, finding clothes similar to Bokuto’s. Without thinking too much, he slipped on the clothes, only remembering the difference between their builds after he was dressed. There was not much difference in their heights, with Bokuto not being more than two inches taller. However, Koutaro was far more muscular, which made the clothes hang loose off Akaashi’s frame.

It was a peculiar feeling after wearing his well fitted clothes constantly, but it felt freeing to have himself hidden behind the baggy clothing.

Before he stepped out of the bathroom, he could not resist bringing the neck of the hoodie up to his nose and inhaling deeply. The familiar scent from the nights of the training camps filler his lungs. It was indecipherably comforting, with the hint of laundry detergent, and something distinctly reminiscent of Bokuto.

“Hey, Kaashi! Dinner’s ready!”

Pulling open the creaking door, Keiji found Bokuto standing right outside, hand ready to knock. As soon as Koutaro’s eyes fell on him, a small blush creeped into his face.

“Ah, yeah let’s go-”

Just as he was about to turn, Akaashi grabbed his hand to stop him.

It was not the first time he’d held Bokuto’s hand. However it was likely the first time he had done it so purposefully. 

Because of volleyball, neither of their palms could be described to be “soft”. There were uneven grooves of various calluses some of which had dead skin that felt like the spikes on a cactus.

It was still a hand he wouldn’t mind memorising every crevice of. 

For a moment, both of them looked at each other with wide eyes, shock rendering both of them mute. Akaashi too was caught by surprise at his own actions. However, he had nothing to lose if he pushed a little further. 

Before either of them could say anything, Keiji wrapped his arms around Bokuto and shut his eyes as he hid his face in his neck. 

For no reason he felt tears prick at his eyes but he fought the urge 

He had no idea what was going on inside his mind, and for once he was alright in ignoring it. Truth being told, his entire day has been spent in a constant state of anxiety, with a severe addition of jamais vu.

God how was he going to survive a year without Bokuto. 

After a tense moment, Koutaro held him, his hands gripping tightly onto the fabric of Keiji’s sweatshirt and Akaashi felt more at peace than he had been all day.

The breath he let out in relief seemed to take an unseen weight off his chest, leaving him feeling light enough to float away. 

Or maybe the hot shower was getting to him. 

“Hey, Kaashi, you okay?” He whispered, trying to get Keiji to look at him, but he refused to move. “I don’t think you’re here just for the umbrella.”

“Bokuto-san….” 

“Oi, now that you’re at home, call me Koutaro?”

Sighing into his neck, Akaashi shut his eyes, breathing in the familiar scent of the boy whose clothes he was wearing.

God what was wrong with him. He was sniffing Bokuto like the boy was a new book. 

“You… you said you’d call me Keiji…” He whispered, and Bokuto tensed.

“Oh, I-I thought you were mad at me, ‘Kaashi.”

Oh my god he’s adorable.

“Do me a favour, Koutaro-san. Don’t think I’m angry with you until I tell you, okay?” He chastised, just as Bokuto pulled away to look at him. 

“What is it?” 

Ignoring the annoyed tone in Akaashi’s voice, Koutaro studied him intently enough to make his face feel flushed, and still refused to answer.

“Bokuto-san?”

“Ah, you went back to it. I wanted to see how long it would stick.”

“What are you talking about?”

Pouting, Bokuto tilted his head, making the tips of his feathery spikes fall to the side.

“You called me Koutarou.”

Averting his gaze as he felt a blush rise to his cheeks, Keiji could no longer stand the beam of the golden irises trained onto him.

“B-Bokuto-san, why didn’t you come to school today?” He asked softly, still keeping his gaze firmly affixed to the edge of Koutaro’s sweatshirt.

Within a second, he felt a weight flop onto his shoulder, and felt Bokuto’s familiar feathery hair tickle his neck.

Comforted a little by the familiar dynamic, Keiji could not help but take the opportunity to run his hands through it.

“I dunno. I felt like taking a break today…”

Heart falling at the creeping melancholy in Koutaro’s voice, his hand froze in the middle of its movement.

“Do you want to be alone Bo-Koutaro-san? I can leave if-”

“No!” Yelped Bokuto, head snapping up, too quickly for Keiji to remove his hand.

They were too close together. Far too close. It would be far too easy to just lean forward and-

“Don’t leave Keiji. Please?” Begged Bokuto, pleading golden eyes staring into his very soul. The chill melted from his chest as Akaashi let himself take in a deep breath to soothe his nerves.

“I won’t.”

“You don’t know how much work I had to do ‘cause my sisters were there too.”

“Is having siblings that bad?” Wondered Keiji out loud. “I’ve always wanted a sibling.’

“That’s ‘cause you don’t have any.”

“Fair point.”

Letting out a small chuckle, Bokuto held him tighter, pressing every inch of their bodies together.

It was not like Koutaro was shy with his affection in public. However, he was usually less aware of his actions which was not the case here. The length and intensity was unsettling, throwing Akaashi’s suspicions into overdrive.

For selfish reasons, he decided to put it aside for later. 

Hearing about how Bokuto’s siblings annoyed him was nearly a daily occurrence. Almost every conversation held a small anecdote off to the side, hinting at the existence of a relationship Akaashi could not imagine. 

After a moment, Keiji felt him sniffing at his neck, and felt Koutaro pull away once more, this time with a bemused expression.

“Keiji… did you use the lotion next to the sink?”

“Uhhhh, am I in trouble if I say ‘yes’?”

Throwing his head back, Koutaro burst into laughter, leaving him baffled. 

“I bought that accidentally when Sora ne-chan told me to get lotion, but she doesn’t like the smelly kind. I was gonna return that, but I guess I can’t anymore.” 

“I-”

“No! No, don’t say sorry. You should keep it. It smells nice.” He stated simply. 

“I mean if you were going to return it, you shouldn’t have left it like that… Koutaro-san.”

“Yeaaaaah I know I know. But I knew it would smell really nice so I took it out to smell it.”

“Well, if you’re going to keep it, you might as well use it.”

“Hmm, I like it better on you.”

Blinking blankly at Bokuto, Akaashi halted only for a moment before hiding his face into his senpai’s shoulder.

“Aiiii Keiji what’s the matter?” He asked, voice almost drowned out from Akaashi’s groan. 

“How do you just say things like that, Koutaro-san?” Whispered Akaashi into Koutaro’s clothes.

“‘Cause I like saying those things to you.” He stated as a matter of fact. “Do you… want me to stop?”

“No! No… don’t.”

Chuckling, Koutaro patted Keiji’s hair comfortingly. It was a curious sensation, feeling Bokuto’s weighted hand treading lightly over his tresses. Akaashi had always been particular about physical contact, so had only felt the familiar movement of his parents’ hands when they ruffled his hair. Although the pressure of Koutaro’s hands was different, it was no less comforting. 

Outside of his family, Koutaro had been the first, which sent an oddly warm sensation tingling down to the tips of his toes. It simply added to the feel of Bokuto’s warm body pressed against his own, emanating heat like a small hearth.

“‘Kaashi?”

“Hm?”

“Can you sleepover?”

“Wow you really meant it when you said ‘don’t leave’.” Smiled Akaashi, his stomach doing somersaults as he felt Bokuto’s whiny defence forming.

“Of course I did!” He huffed, hiding his face in Akaashi’s hair. “Can you do it or not?”

“We have school tomorrow, Bokuto-san.”

“We won’t stay up late!”

“And my uniform?”

“Uhm, I think oka-san can do something about that.”

“I still ha-”

BANG

The door to Koutaro’s room flew open, with whom Akaashi assumed to be one of Bokuto’s sisters stormed inside. With hair like Koutaro’s, only longer, her speckled mane fell down to her shoulders in layers. Her eyebrows were arched steeply in a face which betrayed annoyance. However every sign of exasperation left her face as her eyes fell upon the two of them.

“BOKUTO KOUTA-”

Suddenly her confident gait twisted into an awkward stumble as Koutaro and Keiji jumped apart. Akaashi’s face burned as he felt Hiroto’s burning gaze on him. After a few moments to purge the blush from his face he could finally face her once again. 

The astonishment from her eyes soon vanished as she regained her composure. Soon enough, playful amusement sparkled in her eyes as she slowly began backstepping out the door.

“One-saaaaaan, I told you to knock!”

“Oops.” She giggled, hiding the lower half of her face with her hand as she stood in the doorway. “Didn’t mean to interrupt you love birds.”

“Ne-sannn!”

“Dinner’s getting cold Kouuuu.” She cooed, closing the door softly behind her. 

Immediately after Hiroto’s steps began echoing in the hallway, Koutaro slapped his hands over his face.

Taking a moment to process what just happened, Akaashi’s gaze alternated from the door to Koutaro. With no prior warning, he felt laughter bubble up within him, but to save Bokuto from further embarrassment he tried to remain silent. However, he reached a point where he could hold it back no longer.

Bursting into laughter, Akaashi doubled over, attempting to catch his breath. Tears sprung into his eyes as he remained hunched over, gasping between bouts of laughter.

“Akaashi! Don’t laugh at me!”

Feeling a distinct lack of air, he heaved, coordinating his breathing since he felt like he was suffocating.

All the while, Bokuto stood stubbornly off to the side, letting Akaashi feel his betrayed gaze on him.

When Akaashi finally straightened up, wiping off a few stray tears from his flushed face. He found Koutaro pouting at him, trying his best to seem disappointed, but could not hide the gleaming joy in his eyes.

“You’re really mean, Keiji.” Huffed Bokuto, pouting harder. “You never laugh at my jokes but you laugh when ne-san comes to embarrass me!”

Letting out a sigh, he cupped Akaashi’s cheeks, almost entirely encompassing his face. His thumbs wiped away the small tears which had slipped out of the corner of Keiji’s eyes, hot against his burning skin.

“You gotta start making better jokes then, Bokuto-san.”

“Nah, you just gotta learn how to laugh.”

“I know how to laugh!”

“Then do it more often!”

“Make funnier jokes, Koutaro-san.” Teased Akaashi, prompting Bokuto to squish his face between his hands.

“I don’t like seeing you cry…” He pouted, ever so slightly relinquishing Akaashi’s face. “But if you gotta, it’s kinda better if you do it ‘cause you’re laughing.”

Bokuto’s golden eyes seemed particularly luminous as he watched Akaashi in the dim lighting. Although Keiji knew it to be scientifically impossible, but his eyes seemed to glow with a light of their own, instead of reflecting it. 

Giving him a small smile, Akaashi put his hands over Koutaro’s gently slipping them off his face.

“Bokuto-san, I-”

Just as quickly as he began, his stomach iterated its best imitation of whale calls, cutting his words off from the shock of hearing such a sound.

For a moment, the two of them blinked at each other in alarm before grinning maniacally.

“I forgot! You haven’t eaten since lunch at school, right?”

Shaking his head, Akaashi was pulled forward as Koutaro dragged him off by the arm, leaving the door ajar as they headed back downstairs.

Keiji squinted as they went from the scantly lit first floor to the bright lights of the dining room. However as he became accustomed to it, he saw the table heavily laden with food, barely an inch of it not covered with dishes or plates. The rich symphony of scents made his stomach rumble once more, however he was glad for the Bokuto family’s banter for covering it up.

Koutaro’s mother stood at the head of the table, her dark hair streaked with platinum, a complete contrast to her children. A slightly soiled apron which she had begun untying covered a dark cotton t-shirt and matching pants slightly lighter than her hair.

To her left sat Koutaro’s second oldest sister, Sora. Her hair was the longest out of all of them, falling down to her waist in a cascading curtain of platinum streaked with liquorice. Like himself, she wore a sweatshirt, with far more colours streaking through it, largely covered by her hair.

 Among all four of them, he could see similar striking features which would be sure to catch the attention of anyone passing by. Although none of them were anything besides healthy, their faces held a chubbiness which did not let it reach its highest sculpted potential.

When Bokuto got especially whiny he really felt like poking his soft protruding cheeks. Someday, Akaashi will let that intrusive thought win. 

“Ah, Kou, finally! The food’s getting cold!” Chastised his mother. “Keiji-chan must be hungry after practice. Especially since he walked all that way in the rain…”

“Ah, Bokuto-san-” Began Akaashi, dismissively, making four heads turn to face him, luminous eyes boring into him questioningly. 

“Tch, none of that here. Call me oka-san.”

Biting back an embarrassed smile, Akaashi slid into a chair next to Hiroto, who gave him a sly smile. Keiji recognised the same mischievous gleam twinking in her eyes as Kuroo Tetsuro from Nekoma High.

Right opposite to him, Bokuto plopped down beside Sora, who began fussing over his hair.

“Kou-chan, your hair is getting pretty long. Are you gonna keep spiking it up like that?”

“Eh? My hair’s fine.” He pouted, crossing his beefy arms. 

“You should cut it.”

Pondering for a moment, Koutaro suddenly turned towards him.

“Do YOU think it looks bad?”

“HEY! That’s unfair, of course Akaashi-chan won’t tell yo-”

“It looks terrible, Koutaro-san.” he said plainly, biting back the smile he knew would make its way to his face anyway.

Almost immediately, Koutaro’s face wilted, taking the feathery outcrops down with it, making Akaashi quick to backtrack.

“I’m kiDDING! I’m kidding!” reassured Keiji, “ You look great.”

“Oh god, you lovebirds.” tsked Sora, shaking her head as she unsuccessfully attempted to wipe the smile from her face. “You guys should be dating already.”

Fleetingly, his eyes caught Kotaro’s and he felt blood rush to his face, making the room feel far warmer. 

“Ah, don’t tease them, ne-san!” 

“Why not?!”

“Cause I dont think it’s gonna take long for it to happen anyway.” Jeered Hiroto, giving Akaashi a knowing smile which made his hands itch to reach up and hide his face. 

After that, the teasing died down due to their mother scolding them for their cooling food. 

The conversation drifted to topics like school and extracurricular activities until it dwindled to silence before Koutaro’s mother told them to head to bed.

As Bokuto washed up after him, Akaashi took the chance to go to the wall plastered with glossy photos.

Many of them showed Koutaro at different stages of his life, almost constantly with one or both of his sisters and his mother. Koutaro with two missing teeth, holding up a jar of tadpoles. A chubbier, but taller Bokuto on what Keiji could only assume to be his first bike, grinning widely for the camera. A little older, holding onto a volleyball, dressed for the first day of middle school.

However, as Akaashi reached the more recent pictures, he was pleasantly surprised to find himself featured in an increasingly frequent fashion. A picture from their first match together, with the highly cheerful Bokuto glowing, his arm thrown over Keiji’s shoulder as he watched the older boy out of the corner of his eye. 

After that, a picture of the two of them sitting on the kotatsu , immersed within the depths of mathematical hell, Bokuto’s gaze immensely focused on him as he explained a tough concept. Akaashi could tell it was from one of the days just before the mid term exams, considering how deep Bokuto’s brows were furrowed. 

The two of them holding up their medals from when they won their district tournament, this time with Koutaro’s eyes on him. At the time he had never noticed, but for some reason it made him slightly bashful now. 

Another from when they first qualified for the nationals, with neither of them looking at the camera. Even now he could not forget the euphoric grin he had been unable to wipe from his face for a good ten minutes afterwards. It had made his cheeks hurt but it was totally worth it. 

The next was the two of them in the middle of a hug, right after winning the first match at the national level together. He remembered the brief moment right before everyone joined the hug. It was like within those two seconds, all the noise around them had died away, and Akaashi had only been aware of Bokuto’s triumphant cry and his heavy breathing. 

Anytime there was a picture with the two of them, there was never a moment where they both looked at the camera. 

Putting away that thought, Keiji’s eyes caught on the most recent one. It seemed to be from when they were thanking the audience after the final game, with their silver medals strung around their necks. He could see the downcast expression on his face, heavy lidded eyes looking towards his best friend. Koutaro, who was looking right back at him, had a huge grin which seemed to glow even through the photograph.

“It was Sora ne-san’s idea.”

Jumping out of his skin, Keiji nearly dropped the photograph in his hand as he turned to find Bokuto beside him.

Akaashi could not tell how long he was standing there, luminous amber eyes watching the wall with undecipherable emotion. For a moment, he felt like he was intruding on a space that was too close to Koutaro’s heart to be in the public eye. However the idea was ridiculous, since the photos were up in the room for all to see. Even more so since he was a feature in many of them.

“When did you start putting them up?” He asked, gingerly pinning the photograph back on the board.

“The night we won the qualifying round this year.” Answered Bokuto, pointing towards the photograph of the two of them, gold medals in hand. “‘Cause I realised I wasn’t gonna be able to do it again.”

Keiji felt as if a rock had lodged itself in his throat as he struggled to make words leave his lips. It was not as if he did not have anything to say, it was just that he had too much.

Instead of trying any further, he simply opened his arms, wrapping them around Koutaro as he leaned into him. 

For a moment, it was unexpectedly quiet, but Alaashi knew with Bokuto it would not last very long.

“Keiji, aren’t ya being really touchy today?”

Ignoring him, Akaashi simply held him, enjoying the warmth as he rubbed small circles on his broad back. The heat emanating from Koutaro was not helping his body fight the heaviness of the day weighing down on him. However he could put off his exhaustion for a few minutes. 

“Hey you went and disappeared on me today, Bo-Koutaro-san. I’ve earned it.” 

“I’m not complaining.” He huffed against Keiji’s neck. “It’s just… weird.”

“A bad… weird?”

“No! no it’s just weird.”

“Very eloquent Bokuto-san.”

Letting out an undignified sigh, Bokuto pulled away and turned him around, and marched him towards the bathroom.

“Let’s go, we're brushing our teeth. I wanna sleep.”

After he began brushing, it took nearly every ounce of his willpower not to look towards Koutaro. 

It was no big deal. He’d done it so many times before at various training camps, it wasn’t as if the bathrooms were private. But there was something so incredibly domestic about brushing with only Bokuto in a small bathroom where the two of them could barely fit near the sink. 

Although it was nothing new after 2 training camps, without the rest of the team there he felt unnecessarily vulnerable.

Once they were done, Akaashi felt a pinching guilt in his gut as Bokuto was about to lay on the mattress beside the bed. It did not feel right that he had to sleep on the floor in his own home simply due to a little discomfort on Keiji’s part.

However, he said nothing even after slipping into the snug covers of Koutaro’s bed. The blankets were heavier than what he was used to, but the weight was strangely comforting.

“‘Night, Keiji…” Yawned Koutaro, his blankets rustling after as he tried to get comfortable.

Biting his lip, Akaashi glanced down at him, insides being eaten away from a nervous excitement and the fading guilt.

“‘Night, Koutaro-san.”

Shutting his eyes, he hoped he was exhausted enough to fall asleep before his guilt got the better of him. His mind was an endless cacophony of ‘You sleep alone you don’t need him, it's his house you shouldn’t make him sleep on the floor all of which blurred into a cacophonous drone at the back of his mind.

Without realising, he began tossing and turning, his body attempting to relieve the discomfort of his mind. Understandably, it did not aid in the slightest.

On the other hand, there was no harm in trying. 

It seemed that once any position seemed comfortable enough, his body already began searching for the next one, resulting in a rustle of blankets and a creak of the bed springs. Consistently, the time between each time he shifted became smaller and smaller, until finally he huffed and froze face up toward the ceiling.

“Hey… Keiji. How much… gonna move..?” Mumbled Bokuto, his voice muffled by either the pillow or the blanket.

“Sorry..” He replied sheepishly, gripping tightly onto the comforter. 

With each passing second, a weight on his chest seemed to get heavier and heavier. It pressed down on him until no air seemed to be reaching his lungs. 

“Koutaro-san?”

“Hm?”

“C-can you come up and sleep here with me?”

There was a moment of silence where Akaashi could hear only his own breathing and heartbeat, drowning out everything else.

“Are you sure?”

Biting his lip, Akaashi’s hands curled around the soft and thick blanket, pulling it up to his chin. Not trusting himself to say a word, he let out. a small hum of agreement. 

Keiji kept his eyes resolutely on the ceiling as he heard the rustle of blankets, he waited until the bed dipped beside him before looking to the side. Instead of getting comfortable, Koutaro laid as stiff as a rock, lips pressed into a thin line as his eyes drifted everywhere but towards Keiji. 

Unlike the first time they slept beside one another, they were in separate blankets. This time, Keiji was very aware of the two of them being under the same blanket.

It seemed like Koutaro was as well. 

Clearing his throat, Akaashi reached out and tapped his shoulder, making Bokuto jump before looking his way. 

“Koutaro-san, can I talk to you?”

“Uhm, yeah…?”

Furrowing his eyebrows, Akaashi turned to his side so he could look at him properly. Under the dim, or rather lack of any, lighting

“Are you alright?”

“I’m… I’m kinda scared.”

Not expecting such an answer, Akaashi put aside his thoughts for a moment to address it. 

“Of what?”

“Uhhh, of you. A little bit. Right now.”

“Why would you be scared of me?”

“Well, you sound kinda serious.”

Slapping a hand over his forehead, Akaashi did not try to hide the ridiculous giddy grin on the lower half of his face.

“Hey! You’ve been ganging up on me with my sisters the entire day!”

“I’ve barely been here for two hours, Koutaro-san.” He pointed out, making Bokuto huff as he started pouting.

“Okay okay, don’t get upset!” 

“Say sorry to me first.” He insisted. “Or I’m not gonna talk to you.”

“I’m sorry.” Teased Akaashi in a singsong voice, making Bokuto let out a sigh.

“You’re really mean today, Keiji.”

“Okay fine.” He mediated quickly. “I’m sorry Bokuto-san.”

“Seeee, was that so hard?”

“Incredibly.” Smiled Akaashi, sneaking a glance to the side to find Koutaro studying him quizzically.

Catching his golden eyes, the joking air once again grew serious as Akaashi finally began probing on the topic.

Turning his head back once again to look at the ceiling, Keiji fiddled with the edge of the blanket before he began in a whisper.

“Koutaro-san?”

“Uh… why are we whispering?”

“I.. I’m not sure actually. It seemed right at the time.”

“You’re a little weird, Akaashi.”

Taking a moment to himself, he let out a sigh before continuing in a voice only slightly louder than before. 

“Do you… Uh, do you like anyone Bo-Koutaro-san?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Keiji took the time to study Bokuto’s expression as he pondered over the question far more seriously than one would expect him to. 

“Why’re you asking this outta nowhere, Keiji?”

“Well, uhm. We’ve known each other for a while and... Well I don’t know anything about you. In that way.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to, Koutaro-sa-”

“Do YOU like anyone Keiji?”

“Hey wait, you can’t answer a question with a question, Bokuto-san.”

“Why can’t I?”

“You’re doing it again.” Sighed Keiji, fighting back a mischievous grin even though he knew Bokuto could not see. “It’s against the rules.”

“What rules??” He huffed incredulously. “I thought we were just talking!”

“Okay well, treat it like a game. We’ll take turns. If I ask Koutaro-san a question, you can’t answer with a question. Alright?”

After a moment of silence, the boy beside Keiji let out a hum of agreement. “Alright.”

It truly was entertaining to talk to him.

“Okay, then I’ll go first.”

“Hey why do you get to go first?”

“‘Cause I asked first?”

“…”

Savouring his small victory, Akaashi wiggled his feet beneath the blanket to burn off nervous energy. 

“So Bo-Koutaro-san, do you like anyone?”

“Yuuup.”

“Who is i-”

“Hey hey heyy, we take turns, remember?” Reminded Koutaro gleefully. “You asked me if i like someone, not who I like!”

“I don’t like this game. 

“Hey hey heyyy it’s my turn you can’t say that.” He pointed out gleefully. 

Aakashi felt his heart rate spike. Suddenly the blanket was too constricting, and he resisted the urge to breathe rapidly. 

He may not have thought this through very well. 

“Okay! Why’re you being so weird today?”

“That's your question??”

“Yupp.”

“I… I don’t know myself actually. But, I guess after what we spoke about yesterday I was expecting you to be there in school. And… when I got there and you weren’t there I kinda freaked out.”
“Did you go early for practice?”
“Mhm, thanks for not warning me. I could have gotten more sleep.”
Grimacing, Bokuto apologised through clenched teeth, but Akaashi elbowed him anyway.

“I think, I wasn’t really ready for you to leave school just yet. Today was… kinda lonely.”
“But, Keiji you’re pretty popular, the girls in my class talk about you all the time and stuff.”
“T-they do??”
Ignoring him, Bokuto continued, “Y’know since I am leaving, you should hang out with some other people too, you can’t just have lunch alone.”

“I don’t really want to…” hang out with anyone but you.

“It’ll be good for youuu.”
“I’ll consider it.”

“Okay! Your turn.”

“I don’t think this game is going to help you go to sleep on time, but okay.” Sighed Akaashi. “Okay Bokuto-san, who do you like?” 

“Hm, I like Akaashi.”

Heart sinking in his chest, and he pulled the blanket over his face. Feeling nauseous, he really felt like running to the bathroom, but he suppressed the feeling the best he could so that he wouldn’t give himself away. Thank god for the darkness.

“Oh? Akaashi Daiki, or Himari?”

“Akaashi Keiji.”

“Oh okay.” he muttered, muffled against the blanket.

God his worst nightmare had come true. Bokuto didn’t like him.

There were so many people in Koutaro’s own grade that 

Until realisation sunk in.

“WAIT WHAT.” he shrieked, springing up and glaring at Bokuto who just put a finger to his lips and went SHHHH as he sat up too.

Annoyingly, there was a smile plastered to his face, while Akaashi could barely control his breathing. He tried breathing in from his nose and out from his mouth but it really did not seem to be working since he could still hear his heartbeat in his ears.

“Did you say me?”
“Yup.”
“You like me?”
“Yup.”

“I-”
“You…?”

“Why are you so calm???” he asked, flabbergasted.

Koutaro, who was usually the more expressive one, was the one comforting him. The calm, pensive expression which he only donned sometimes before or after a game was staring back at Keiji.

It was actually a little infuriating.
“Hm, who do you like Keiji?”

“I…”

“You..?”

Why was he still shaking?? Bokuto had literally confessed to him and all he could think about was how much he couldn’t stop shaking. 

Letting out a strained chuckle, he slid his hands over his face and focused on his breathing. When he was just on the second one, Bokuto gently pried Keiji’s hand away from his face and held it. Akaashi hadn’t realised how cold he had gone until he felt the warmth seep in from Koutaro’s skin into his own.

Against his brain’s deepest desires, he glanced towards Bokuto who was simply watching him, seemingly with all the patience in the world. 

“Y’know, I’m actually pretty scared too right now.” He admitted softly. “You’re my best friend, I don’t wanna scare you away.”

Sighing, he cast his eyes down to their intertwined hands. Akaashi was unsure whether he was expecting an answer or not. Truth be told this was the best time to confess but his body and mind were having a difficult time coordinating.

“Can I be a little selfish and want you to like me too?” He whispered softly, his thumb softly running circles on the back of Keiji’s hand. 

“Bokuto-san…” he started, but his tone must have been unsure because Bokuto stiffened and was about to leave his hand. Before he could, Keiji grabbed it and held it tightly, making him look back towards him. 

“I do like you. I have for a long time.”

Instantaneously a grin spread across his face and Akaashi felt so light that he might have floated away in that moment if it wasn’t for Bokuto’s hand holding him back. 

“Really?! Me too!”

“Really?” croaked Keiji, the tightly wound knots in his chest opening up after God knows how long. 

God was he dreaming? 

Well, even if it was a dream, he never wanted to wake up.

“You’re really cute, you know that? All the girls keep talking about you.” mumbled Bokuto. 

“Yeah well, they never really stood a chance.”

“You’re not just saying this stuff to make me feel nice like you do when we play volleyball, right?”

“No, definitely not.”

“Really?”

Before he answered, he put his arms around Bokuto and pulled him into a hug, which he fell into with a small huff. At this point, Keiji was used to holding up the big polar bear of a boy he cared for so much, so he didn’t even have to lean back. 

“Really.” he whispered, and Koutaro hugged him back, nearly squeezing the life out of him, but he really didn’t care. In that moment, it wasn’t oxygen that tethered him to his life, but the boy whose eyes held his whole universe.

Chapter Text

Rain had somehow always held with it the best memories in Akaashi’s life. The moments themselves may not always have been spectacular, but more than anything they were happy. There was the faint taste of hot chocolate, just hot enough that it didn’t burn, but enough to make him feel the warmth spreading through the deepest crevices within him. The feel of the soft blanket rubbing against his skin, and the roughness of an old book he was too young to fully understand.

And now, the sound of rain accompanied the memory of looking into Bokuto’s eyes to find the star studded sky looking right back at him.

All he could think of was rain being a gentle and constant companion as he felt a raindrop on top of his hand.

Even in the morning, the rain persisted, dropping the hesitant reminder of its presence.

“OH! We gotta use the umbrella!”

Turning his head, Keiji took a second to just breathe in the sight.

Admittedly, he knew Bokuto looked the best wreathed in moonlight, but the misty grey haze of a rainy morning had to be in his top 3. The sky matched the silver of his hair, making him a mythical creature that could very well have been a part of the heavens.

If he was being honest, Akaashi had never really spared that much thought to his sexuality. He had reached a point where he felt like he was probably on the asexual spectrum.

It was definitely clear to him after he overheard the conversation his classmates were having before the teacher walked into class. Obviously, Akaashi had never been a person who talked about a girl’s butt or chest. Now it seemed like it was probably because he was never looking at them anyway.

Looking downwards, he saw their hands intertwined between them, a living lifeline keeping him from drifting. If they had to use an umbrella, it would have to be in the middle, and Keiji wasn’t ready to let go just yet. 

“This is very unlike you.”

“Hey, I like the rain. But we gotta be in these clothes all day!” he pouted. “Don’t make it sound like I’m scared!”

“You have a point. But, I’d like to hold your hand for as long as I can.”

Eyes widening, Koutaro blinked at Keiji, his cheeks blushed with a light pink. Akaashi could have sworn it took him at least 30 seconds to answer after that.

“I’m not going anywhere y’know…”

“But you are.”

University had always been a happy dream, but suddenly it was the enemy for Keiji. 

“Not for a while.”

“A month and a half.”

“That’s a lot of time…”

“You sound unconvinced.”

Sighing, Bokuto brought up his other hand to his forehead with a loud thwap .

“I know! You don’t gotta remind me!”

“It’ll be ok. You’re not going that far away, Koutaro-san.” Akaashi consoled him, easing off the teasing for now. “I’ll visit as much as I can, promise.”

“It was hard enough to go before. But now I really don’t want to.”

“If you feel bad enough you can go ahead and fail the final exams. And the entrance exams too.”

“Hm, but lotsa guys gave me volleyball team offers. Ya think they’ll take me even if I fail?”

“If I was the one deciding I would probably not even look at your marks.”

“Yeah but you’re… influenced.”

“You mean biased?”

“Oh YEAH THAT.”

A peculiar feeling gnawed away at his stomach as they walked to the subway, and he debated whether or not to address the thoughts that were bringing it up.

By the time they were sitting in their seats, his curiosity concerning Bokuto's reaction won over rationality. 

“Bo-Koutaro-san?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you know why I came to Fukurodani?”

Clutching his chin, he pouted as he thought about, clearly giving it serious consideration. 

Akaashi had promised himself he would never actually admit to it, he felt like it would make Kou happy if he heard it.

“Do you remember your last tournament in your first year?”

“Ah don’t remind me!” he muttered, slapping a hand over his face. “I was so dramatic that time!”

Biting his lip, he fought the urge to clap back. 

“Well, I saw you play for the first time, and I knew I wanted to play with someone like you.”

“You wanted to play with me?”

“ Someone LIKE- ” he began correcting Bokuto, but his words died in his throat.

Koutaro wore the look where his eyes brought down the stars from the sky to gaze at him, and he was never going to grow tired of that.

“Yup. With you.”

Beaming, Bokuto slid a little closer and bumped his head with Akaashi’s. “You’re really cute, you know that?”

“Uhm.”

“Why do you act so surprised when I call you cute?”
“I don’t think I’m used to it.”
“What d’ya mean not used to it?! I KNOW a lotta girls confessed to you.”
Feeling his face heat up, he resisted the urge to hide his face.

It was ironic how he had not once felt bashful when so many girls came up to him. Every time he had just kept his cool and let them down in the nicest way possible. What did make him shy was the fact that Bokuto had taken notice of it.

“I didn’t know you knew about that.”

Especially when Akaashi had never brought it up with him.

“The girls in my class keep talking about it.”

“Oh… right there was-”

“The girl who sat next to me-”

“Also confessed to me, yup yup.”

“She’s pretty cute.” Pointed out Bokuto, glancing at Keiji nervously.

Peeking around, Akaashi made sure no one was looking as he sneakily wrapped his little finger around Bokuto’s.

“Well she never really had a chance, Bokuto-san.”

Koutaro was quiet the rest of the way to the school, and the first part of his day went pretty much the same which was slightly unsettling. Akaashi thought it was impossible for Bokuto to think so quietly without bragging about how much he was thinking all by himself. 

The rest of the team never suspected anything, and they probably would not be surprised even if Keiji said anything. The whole team thought they were in a relationship already.

It took everything in his power to not touch Bokuto as they parted for their classes.

Even then, Akaashi was having a difficult time keeping the smile off his face.

Now that Bokuto had pointed out that he had noticed the girls whispering, it became a little too obvious. Even though it was incredibly irrational he felt a wave of irritation every time he caught someone looking.

Honestly, considering how Bokuto was built, Keiji would expect more people to be outwardly attracted to him. However his behaviour might not be doing the greatest favour to him in that department. So far the only people to be smitten by Bokuto were… 

Well, Hinata Shoyo. 

And obviously Keiji too.

Maybe Kuroo in his own, unique way. 

Kenma had described him as interesting, so that was definitely (hopefully) positive.

Honestly speaking if the roles had been reversed and Keiji had to hear people talk about how attractive Bokuto was… he would probably go insane. Or want to showcase very public displays of affection.

Of course the school had certain rules about behaviour, but he was a good enough student that if he flaunted a single rule it shouldn’t really matter. 

It was agony to wait till lunch time. However he did not have a say in the matter. After all, Keiji was the one who berated Bokuto into paying more attention in class, he couldn’t very well be a hypocrite. 

By the time the class before lunch was coming to an end, Keiji could not stop drumming his fingers nervously against the worn wooden table. The teacher had definitely noticed his agitation, and gave him a look but didn’t call him out on it. Against his better self, his eyes kept flitting to the clock, leg muscles taught and ready to spring out of the chair.

When the bell did ring, it spooked him enough for his knee to spring up and hit the metal frame of the table with a resounding clang .

Face growing hot, he muttered an apology, biting back curses as he rubbed his aching knee. This time the teacher did give him a dirty look and to be honest, he may have deserved it this time.

Slipping out of his chair, he made his way to the door of the class clumsily gripping his bag. He wanted to make his way out as quickly as possible, their morning conversation having made him extra paranoid.

Fumbling with his shoes, he felt his heartbeat thrum in his finger tips an-

“Akaaaashiii!”

Whipping his head towards the sound, he saw Koutaro beaming, waving towards him with his hand raised above his head. 

Clumsily putting on his shoe, Akaashi crawled the little distance between them, and did not 

 give Koutaro time to say anything. 

“Boluto-san, can I kiss you?”

Springing back, Bokuto gawked at him, his pale skin turning completely pink. Already he was gathering attention in the crowded hallway, but Akaashi didn’t really care about that. 

“Wuh-what? HUH? Aka-”

“Yes or no?” he interrupted impatiently, trying to make his eyes look as pleading as possible as he stepped a little closer..

“Uhm-”

“You’re allowed to say no.”

“O-okay…” He squeaked, glancing from side to side as people had begun looking at them. It was an unusual sight for people to see Keiji so close to another person. 

It was almost unimaginable, even to him. Keiji who respects boundaries. Keiji who dislikes human touch.

Keiji, who never thought he would meet someone he wanted to kiss so badly.

“So…?” He asked again tentatively, and he saw Bokuto’s gaze fall down to his lips before looking back into Akashi's eyes.

“O-out here?? In front of everyone?”

“Yes or no?”

“Okay…” Closing his eyes, Bokuto sucked in a breath and pushed his shoulders back. “Okay! I’m ready now!.”
Grabbing him by the collar, Akaashi yanked him down and pressed his lips against Bokuto’s.

Contrary to his beliefs, there were no fireworks, no exploding colours, no insane wave of lust. 

In fact the first thought on his mind was that Bokuto’s lips were softer than expected, and his stomach suddenly felt like it was riding an infinite loop on a rollercoaster. Bokuto’s larger hands were on his own, holding him closer and making the kiss that was supposed to last no more than a second last for god knows how long.

Well, certainly long enough for Akaashi’s conscience to point out that they were in the middle of a very crowded hallway, with a lot of people, most of whom were probably staring at them.

Breaking away, he opened his eyes to find Bokuto’s closer than they had ever been before. With the light being blocked out, they seemed to take on a deeper shade they never had before. Even at night, where Bokuto’s eyes seemed to glow, they were not dim enough to match the shade Keiji saw in his irises at the moment. Maybe it had something to do with his pupils being so dilated, despite the light being mostly blocked out. 

Akaashi could feel the warmth of Koutaro’s exhales as they brushed against his nose, tickling it enough to make him want to scratch. 

Suddenly, it dawned on him that he could not really hear anything from anyone around them.

Hastily letting go of Bokuto’s collar, he looked around to find wide eyed classmates staring back at them. Out of the corner of his eye, Keiji saw Konoha take out his phone, pointing the camera at the two of them. Their other two teammates sneakily exchanged a few yen, the total being passed on to Washio who smugly pocketed it.

Considering how they acted, Akaashi wasn’t surprised that there was a betting pool. 

A part of his brain smugly thought, ‘good, let everyone know’, while the other half was absolutely mortified.

Grabbing Bokuto's hand, Keiji pulled him along as they went towards their usual spot to the staircase, the other students letting them through, giving them plenty of distance as if they held some contagious disease. 

Unlike their usual lunch time meetings where they sat on the staircase between the second and third floor, Akaashi took him upstairs till the terrace which was usually open for students to enjoy the fresh air.

The entire time, Keiji grew more and more breathless as they drew closer to the terrace, and the stairs were certainly not the main culprit.

Well, he was actually the only one to blame for this. 

Throwing open the door, he immediately keeled over, taking support of the wall near the door. He attempted to take in slower breaths, but before he knew it, he had begun laughing.

“Akaashi? You okay???” 

He couldn’t have answered even if he tried.

For the first time, he felt the kind of laughter that took your breath away faster than you could take it in. the kind that makes your sides hurt from the repeated attempt to catch your breath as he leaned with his back against the wall.

He felt oddly lighter than ever before, enough to make him feel like he was floating. Maybe it was finally being able to kiss Koutaro, or it was all the residual giggles in his system that were slowly making their way out. But he strangely felt so different, but more like himself than he ever had before.

Through the tears that had accumulated in his eyes, he looked at Bokuto, who was studying him, utterly perplexed.

Fighting against the residual giggles, Akaashi pushed himself off the wall, and put his arms around Bokuto, hugging him tightly.

“You’re a little weird, Aka- Keiji, ya know?”
“I thought we weren’t supposed to say that word to each other.” he scoffed, tilting his head so that his lips were closer to Bokuto’s ear. “I’m all yours okay, Koutaro-san? I just want everyone to know that.”
There really was no filter in him today, but he regretted nothing after he pulled away enough to see Koutaro speechless and utterly pink from the tips of his ears to the tips of his fingers.

In his mind, he had always wanted his first kiss to be a private moment, shared only between the two people involved. He never thought he would be alright being so vulnerable and affectionate in front of others, especially for his first kiss with Bokuto.

He was hasty about wanting their kiss to be on display for anyone who might be getting any ideas, but he felt like he squandered a chance you only get once. In his mind, he had thought of many scenarios, especially since the two of them were alone a lot.

It would not have taken a lot of effort, if he was being entirely honest to himself. Just a small lean forward when they sat together, taking a break before the others came for practice. A little step, or a pull on the sleeve of a shirt as they walked together to the metro after evening practice sessions. Or any of the countless times they had studied together, or eaten lunch together in the sun lit staircase.

All those moments, and yet he decided to yank him down by the collar and kiss him for everyone to see.

If he was being entirely honest. Akaashi did not know whether he was extremely proud of himself, or extremely embarrassed. 

“Bokuto-san?”
“Hm?”
“I’m sorry our first kiss was so public.”
Immediately, he felt the animated energy he loved so much return to Bokuto as he rushed to reassure Akaashi. Although Koutaro’s eyes were back to their usual sparkle, Akaashi knew that even if he tried, he would never be able to forget the look in his eyes after they had kissed. Unwillingly, it had carved itself a space in Akaashi’s mind to dwell forever.

The longer he looked at him, he felt as if he was growing closer to being truly alive. It wasn’t just about his emotions towards Koutaro, but just looking at him made Akaashi feel far more connected to the word “alive” than he ever had before.

His life had a droning monotony to it before he watched Bokuto in that spring tournament. Akaashi had thought out everything in his life, and never realised that he had never made space for someone. Of course he had no indication of the kind of person Bokuto could have been from watching one match of his for five minutes. 

However, suddenly there was desire in his life. He wanted to know , or just see him again, and he himself could never understand why.

Even now, as he looked at Koutaro, his skin gleaming under the golden sun, hair like spun silver threads, Akaashi knew he would never belong in this world as much as Bokuto did. Only after looking at him did Keiji understand why life was always equated to light. Even under the harshest sun or the darkest of moonless nights he would glow like a celestial fallen from the heavens.

“No! Wait, I mean, yes?! No!” Bokuto shook his head vigorously as if to get rid of stray thoughts. “Why’re you saying sorry?!”

“I wanted that to be just between you and me. Not in front of so many people.”
“It was between you and me though.” Bokuto pointed out, tilting his head to the side ever so slightly.
“Huh?”
“You kissed me. You didn’t kiss any of them.”
“Well, yes.”
“And it’s not like it was less special ‘cause it was in front of so many people. I think every kiss with you is special.”

Akaashi felt a nervous fluttering in his gut after hearing Bokuto’s words. Or maybe it was out of excitement, he really could not tell sometimes.
“You’ve only kissed me once though.” he chuckled, feeling his cheeks grow hot as the feeling in his stomach aggravated.

Out of nowhere, Bokuto grabbed his shoulders, lightly shaking him, as if he was shaking off all of Akaashi’s unnecessary thoughts. 

Well admittedly, it was working because it was hard to pay attention to his mind when the world continued to shake long after Bokuto stopped moving him.
“We’re going to kiss again!” Declared Bokuto with utmost conviction. 

“Right now?” Asked Akaashi, lightly teasing as he raised his eyebrows, watching Bokuto blush lightly.

“No! I’m hungry right now.” He refuted, “but we’re gonna kiss later!”

“That’s definitely the plan, yes.”

-

“Do I haaave toooooo?” 

Trying to resist the urge to smile, Keiji pulled Bokuto’s backpack towards himself and pulled out the notebooks and plopped them on the table, ignoring his whining.

After a very long day, and a very tiring practice session, the two of them had come to Akaahi’s home and had bathed before sitting down to study.

“Bokuto-san, you’ve gotten enough of a break from the classes in school. And you can’t afford to fail the finals.”

Whining some more, he turned his head so that his face was pressed against the table, making his voice a little nasally and muffled.
“Is college really that important?”

“Yes. Do you want to disappoint your sisters and your oka-san?”
“No…”
“Then come on, let’s study a little.”
“Your little’s never little Kaashi.”
“Okay, let’s study for an hour a-”

“AN HOUR?” He cried out, as if Akaashi had stabbed him with a large pin.

“Forty minutes, and then we can take a break.” Countered Keiji calmly, desperate to get a little quiet time to be with his toughts.
“You’re so mean Keiji.” He groaned, slowly melting onto the table like a pudding taken out of the mould too early. 

“Ah yes, so rude of me for wanting to protect your future Bokuto-san. How dare I?” Said Akaashi,
‘Hmph. You’re so bossy now.”

Glancing around, to make sure his own oka-sa was not around, he leaned closer to Bokuto and dropped his voice.

“I’ll give you a kiss for every correct answer.”

If he was being entirely honest, he was extremely nervous about kissing Bokuto again. Without the adrenaline rush and the people as a distraction, it was Akaashi all alone in his mind with his anxiety, his thoughts running amok in his mind as if being chased by a deadly predator. 

He had never kissed anyone before, so he knew there was a definite lack of experience there, and he didn’t know how he felt about it, much less about how Bokuto felt about it. The entire time, the thought that he was inadequate would not stop arising in his mind, and he absolutely despised that.
Immediately, Bokuto sprang up as if possessed, smacking his hands against the table as he looked at him, making Akaashi jump.

“Are you really gonna?!”
God forbid Koutaro realise that he would receive kisses either way, but it seemed to motivate him far more than guilt tripping him with his family members.

“Yup.”

“And you’re not gonna gimme hard questions?”
“I’ll give you a practice exam, how you do is up to you entirely Bokuto-san.”
“Practice.. Exam?”
“We’ve been revising the entire time, I think you’re ready for this now.”
“Are you sure?”
“Mhm.”

“Can I ask for help?”
“Okay, but that won’t count in the whole tally then.”
“So, I CAN ask. But imma get less kisses?”

“Basically, yes.”
“Hmmm.” 

For a moment, Bokuto was deep in thought, his fingers clutching his chin as he stared with determination at the table in front of him.

“You ready?”

“No! But you better be ready to give me a lot of kisses!”

“Honestly I don’t think it’s going to end up being that many, Koutaro-san.”

“Akaashi you’re supposed to support me right now!”

“Isn’t wanting to prove me wrong a good motivator?”

“Or you could just support me?”

“No.” He smiled, pushing the laptop towards Koutaro, and tapped his wrist. “Tick tock, Bokuto-san.”

After he set Bokuto to work, Akaashi did not glance his way much. The few times he did was to make sure Koutaro had not passed out from how much effort he was putting towards the test. He on the other hand had a decently productive study session before his mother asked them to clear the table for dinner. 

They usually ate in the kitchen itself when it was just the three of them, but when Bokuto was here they chose to eat on the low table in the living room. When Akaashi’s father was not around he and his mother would sit there and watch something while eating. 

For some odd reason it was more comfortable for him to be around his mother than his father. Mostly because on average she had spent more time with Akaashi than he had. 

He could understand why, but it still did not change the fact that he could not think of anything to say. The silence with his mother was covered by the dialogue of whatever drama or anime that was on. However, even then his mind could not escape the hurtful thoughts he knew he could never voice without hurting them.

Although the room itself did not change it felt different with the companionship. Akaashi did feel guilty admitting to himself that he enjoyed it the most in Bokuto’s presence. Although he appreciated quiet, it always left room for regret. With Koutaro there was no silence and it was possibly the most at peace he felt in his own house. Funnily enough it was when he was around that Keiji felt most comfortable with his parents. Which wasn’t exactly a good sign, but he did not know how to start working on it.

These thoughts continued to fester as they wrapped up dinner and the two went up to his room to sleep. Akaashi let Koutaro freshen up first, because he wanted some time to just sit and stare up at his ceiling by himself.

So much had happened in the last twenty four hours that his brain could not properly process it. 

Obviously he knew that he had essentially confessed to the person who without even speaking a word to him had changed his future plans just like that. The person who he never thought would know of his existence. But, somehow, somewhere along those two years he had fallen for Bokuto under the guise of companionship. And, more shockingly so, he wasn’t the only one.

For some reason he felt like he had taken a back seat in controlling his own body, and some other unseen force had taken over and flipped everything in his life in one day while he did nothing but watch.

Oh… how was he going to tell his parents… how were they even going to react. Wait would they even allow Bokuto to sleep over after that conversation? Maybe-

“Keijii… “

Coming back to his senses he saw Bokuto hovering above him. He had taken a shower, making his spikes lay flat around his head. It was the first time he was seeing Koutaro this way, since every other time he must have dried and styled his hair to a certain degree before leaving the bathroom. It made him look like an entirely different person, seeing how the spikes were basically a part of his identity now.

“Bokuto-san…”

“How’d you like my hair?” He grinned, shaking his head to make droplets rain down on Akaashi. “Y’know… I could hear you thinking from the bathroom.”

“That’s some sense you got.”

“You should take a bath with cold water, it’s gonna make you feel awesome!”

“Is it gonna make me stop thinking?”

“Hm, if it’s REALLY cold.”

Chuckling, Akaashi got up off the bed, meeting Bokuto’s gaze properly. Before he knew what he was doing his hand reached up to brush away the wet strands of hair from Koutaro’s eyes. As he was about to drop his hand, Bokuto caught it, closed his eyes, and kissed Akaashi’s palm.

Almost instantly, his stomach dropped, and his brain was more blank than a freshly scrubbed whiteboard. Keiji could feel a weird flutter in his gut and he resisted the urge to let out a nervous giggle. 

Aimlessly blabbing an apology before shutting himself in the bathroom.

It took him a second to realise what he had done, and he felt like slapping himself afterwards.

Throwing himself into the cubicle, he took possibly the quickest shower of his life before tripping outside the bathroom to find Bokuto laying upside down across his bed. His head was dripping over the side, his wet hair swaying as he moved to look at Akaashi.

For an odd moment, since everything in Keiji’s room was monochromatic, the hysterical thought of him looking like he was a part of his room almost made him laugh.

Letting out a nervous puff of air, he threw the towel over his head like a hood and sat on the floor next to Bokuto. 

“Akaashi, are you gonna run away every time I do something like that?”

“Uhm.” Fiddling with the edge of the towel he didn’t immediately turn until he felt a drop of water on his shoulder. “I’ll work on it, Bokuto-san.”

“Are ya scared of me?”

“Well, it’s not technically you that I’m afraid of. I’m more scared of hurting you.”

Just as Akaashi turned his head towards Koutaro, he moved his head forward and with a muffled thwack , head bumped him. 

Disoriented, Keiji found himself leaning back and he caught himself as one hand went up to his forehead out of reflex. The towel fell from his head and lay dejectedly on the floor as Akaashi nursed his new injury. 

Annoyed, he rubbed the throbbing part of his forehead

“Ow!?! What did you do that for?!” 

“Because you’re thinking a lot!”

“So… you decide to give me… brain damage?” He asked slowly, trying to fight off a smile after seeing the determined look on Bokuto’s face.

“Hey, you remember that movie you showed me with the green twig and the thing that used to steal shiny things?”

The sudden topic change wasn’t phasing for Akaashi, but the sudden blunt force trauma to the head delayed his thought process.

Green… twig? Stealing? There was no way he meant the Guardians of the Galaxy, the twig was brown in that. And not to mention rocket raccoon wasn’t only a fan of shiny things.

Racking his brain, he thought of other movies he had watched that Bokuto had expressed interest in, and only one made sense. 

“Are you talking about… Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them?”

“Oh yeah! That one!”

Akaashi couldn’t suppress the smile that came to mind after he brought up the memory of watching that movie in the theatre with Bokuto. 

It was slightly surprising when Koutaro initially expressed his interest in Harry Potter. No part of Bokuto really screamed wizard world loving geeks. However once quidditch and care of magical creatures came up Akaashi no longer had any doubts. 

“What about it?”

“Y’know the Salamander guy with the curly hair and that suitcase with all those animals in it?” 

“Newt Scamander?”

“YEAH THAT ONE! He said something that ya said to me before the exams.”

Akaashi didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at the ridiculous thought process, even though he should have been used to it by now. 

However, if anything Akaashi felt Bokuto always felt like he was full of surprises. It was actually pretty thoughtful of him to remember since it was one of Akaashi’s favourite movies. 

“”Worrying means you suffer twice?””

“Yeah! That!”

Blinking for a moment, Akaashi just stared at Bokuto. 

“Touché.”

Sitting up straight, the bed creaked slightly as Bokuto turned to Akaashi and tilted his head. “What does that mean”

“Essentially it means you got me, Bokuto-san.” He sighed as he got up from the floor and set himself beside Bokuto. 

There had been something eating away at him since yesterday. Akaashi felt like a glass on the brink of overflowing with the number of questions in his mind. 

Glancing down, he saw Bokuto just staring straight ahead, head still hanging off the bed.

Since this sleepover too was unplanned, he was wearing Keiji’s clothes. Considering how much exercise Bokuto had been doing, the clothes were criminally tight, and it was really not helping Akaashi keep track of his own thoughts.

“Bokuto-san?”

Popping his head up, Koutaro sat up and made his damp hair collapse. Lightly, Akaashi tugged at his shirt to make him sit beside him and he complied. Just as soon as he was settled, Akaashi made up his mind. 

He was going to kiss Bokuto properly, and he was going to do it NOW.

It was like a bothersome itch under his skin that refused to go away. He had to scratch it. He HAD to know how it felt. It had to be now. 

“Akaashi?”

Snapping out of his thoughts he looked at the boy in front of him instead. Akaashi’d much rather be looking at him anyway. 

Slowly, Bokuto brought his hand up and cupped his face. Akaashi held it gently, letting his hand run along the length of his forearm until it hung from the crook of his elbow. 

He was close enough that he felt Bokuto’s breath brush against his lips. It reminded him of the fleeting moment where they lingered in hugs after winning matches. That singular brief moment that became so common, Akaashi forgot when hugging Koutaro after a match had become second nature. Considering how bad he was with physical touch, it was surprising how he had overlooked it. 

Tightening the grip on his arm, Akaashi leaned forward enough to lightly press his lips against Koutaro’s.

Much to his surprise, Bokuto’s hand went to the back of his head, holding him in place. 

Under his palm, he could feel the muscles in Bokuto’s arm tense, and he had to remind himself to breathe as he felt his heart beat thrum at the base of his throat. 

Despite being unsteady in terms of his moods on the court, he felt the exact opposite at times like this. Arguably, there was a reliability in his mood swings. At this moment, Akaashi’s head seemed to be floating amongst the clouds, but the warm reminder of Bokuto’s skin kept him grounded.

As much as this made him slightly competitive, considering how he essentially had total control over their first kiss, he could give this to Bokuto. And, if he was being very honest It was only fair, and it’s not like he’d run out of opportunities to try something more.

However, considering how loud his heart beat rang in his ears, Keiji figured it was in his best interest to leave it here for now. 

Thankfully, it seemed the two of them were on the same page about this, since Bokuto pulled away just enough that their lips were no longer connected. 

Akaashi had gotten used to being in close proximity with Bokuto. At least, that’s what he thought before today. Being so close to Koutaro, all he could think about was kissing him again. However for the best interest of his heart and mind, he settled for just looking. A seemingly harmless thing he had done a thousand times before. 

Before today though, he could confess he had never stared at Bokuto’s lips as much. His mouth was bigger than Akaashi’s, making his lips a little fuller too.

And, they were surprisingly soft.

For a moment he had the irrational wish to put lip gloss on Koutaro, but he shoved it to the back of his mind. Just like the thoughts that screamed at Akaashi to make out with him. 

Instead, he focused. Focused on the slightly drowsy golden eyes that stared back.

“Bokuto-san…”

“Hm?”

“Please, don’t look at me like that.”

Surprised, his eyes widened as he pulled away from Akaashi, who immediately regretted saying it that way. 

“How else am I gonna look at you?!’ He asked, dumbfounded. 

And also quite loudly considering how they were supposed to be asleep. 

“Well, if you look at me like that, I’m going to want to kiss you again.”

“Hey! I got a lot of questions right, I should get lotsa kisses.”

“I’m just a little scared… of uhm. Of where the kissing might go.” He said quietly, his finger nervously tapping at Bokuto’s arm as he averted his gaze.

Koutaro’s arm grew lax and immediately Akaashi’s eyes flitted back to his face for damage control. Only there wasn’t exactly damage to control.

Even in the darkness, Keiji could tell that Bokuto was blushing.  

“I don’t think I’m ready for the-”

“No! me too!” he interrupted nervously, making Akaashi realise Bokuto probably had not thought that far ahead yet. 

“It doesn’t have to go anywhere though Bokuto-san. For now, I’d just like to kiss you if that’s okay?”

Instead of speaking, Bokuto just leaned forward and kissed him. A warm feeling bubbled up inside him, making Akaashi smile as he kissed him back.

Chapter Text

Considering their timing, the two of them started dating just before their exams.

Strangely, while it once was the period where his anxiety peaked, it could not even begin to rival what the last few matches had felt like. After reaching the ‘final boss’, the second year final exams felt like a low level mob.

I think I’ve been talking to Kenma a little too much.

Bokuto was more than happy to skip out on studying. Akaashi had definitely NOT been on board with that idea. At most, he had relented to the occasional jog in the freezing weather just when the words on the page began swimming in front of his eyes. Even though he may not have been terrified, he was still diligent after all. 

Instead of fretting over his own exams, he had been far more worried about Bokuto’s. For the first time, he was not as nervous walking into his own examination hall. Only because he felt like he was going to throw up when he saw Bokuto go into his own.

Between their exams, the only times they met were the weekends, since their exam schedules didn’t match up. Although he had still decided to try to go and study with him, his older sisters had absolutely forbidden him, saying he would give Bokuto another reason to be distracted.

Instead of going to him in person and pulling his hair out of frustration in front of the entire Bokuto family, he decided to do it in the privacy of his own room.

Like a lunatic, Akaashi could not spend more than ten minutes without checking his phone for a message from Koutaro.

What was wrong with him?

For some reason, his body seemed to live on the precipice of a breakdown, with a deafening doomsday countdown blaring in his skull. In about a month, he would no longer have the privilege of walking Koutaro home.

No, not a month.

Less than a month.

Less than a month .

While he wanted to make every second with him count, he couldn’t disregard his family’s wishes. Or his own future for that matter.

Every night before Bokuto’s exam, he would end up texting him until his eyes couldn’t stay open anymore.

Akaashi Keiji

Koutaro-san?

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

What’s wrong?

Are you worried?

You sound worried?

Despite his high strung mind, he still found it within himself to smile. Bokuto knew him far too well. 

Akaashi Keiji

No.

Maybe..

I think I’m worried.

Are you done studying for today?

Sorry I couldn’t come to help.

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

Ya need to stop apologising.

Ne-san helped me, so don’t worry!!

Koutaro typed for a long time before sending the next reply, making Akaashi bite his lip out of anxiety. Of course he already knew Bokuto wouldn’t be mad at him. Honestly, he really did not think he was capable of that.

Bokuto Koutaro

You helped me a lot already.

I know you don’t have an exam, so are you worried just ‘cause of me?

Akaashi Keiji

Am I in trouble if I say yes…

Bokuto Koutaro  (°◡°♡)

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

You’re so CUTE

⁺✧.(˃̶ ॣ⌣ ॣ˂̶∗̀)ɞ⁾

Akaashi’s face burned, and he could barely type the next message through the squint his eyes were doing from his wide smile.

Lately, it seemed easy grins were far too quick to reach his face. The credit for that could only ever go to Bokuto.

Akaashi Keiji

I better get a kiss for all the hair I’m going to lose worrying about you.

I’ve really never been so nervous before.

Bokuto Koutaro  (°◡°♡)

I’ll give you as many as you want, Kei-chan!

(^з^)-☆Chu!!

How many do I get for getting good marks tomorrow?

Akaashi Keiji

As many as you want.

(^^ゞ

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

DID YOU JSUT USE NA EMOJI

Akaashi Keiji

Maybe..

(｀∀´)Ψ

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

◑____________◑

Akaashi Keiji

That one kinda looks like you Koutaro-san.

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

This one looks like you.

(˶◕‿◕˶✿)

Despite himself, he laughed, taking care to keep his voice as low as possible. There was possibly not a single cruel bone in Bokuto’s body.

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡) 

Did I make you laugh?

Akaashi Keiji

You did

( 〃．．)

Against his wishes, he knew he shouldn’t be up much longer. And he definitely shouldn’t make Koutaro stay up before his exams.

Akaashi Keiji

You should get some sleep.

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

o(〒﹏〒)o

Akaashi Keiji

You need to sleep before an exam.

It’s not good to stay up late.

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

༼☯﹏☯༽

Akaashi Keiji

Don’t make this harder than it has to be.

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

(T⌓T)

Akaashi Keiji

We have just two left, Koutaro-san!

You can do this!

For a long while, Bokuto didn’t say anything. Just when Keiji thought he might have fallen asleep did he finally get a reply. 

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

2 is so many

Wish you were here (´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

Akaashi Keiji

Me too…

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

I don’t think I can go to sleep without yo

SHIT

NE-SAN’S COMING

Akaashi Keiji

You better go before she sees you on your phone. 

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

GOOD NIGHT ╰(*´︶`*)╯♡

Akaashi Keiji

Good night Koutaro-san

You’ll do well tomorrow!!

Keeping his phone aside, he attempted to shut his eyes and sleep.

For some reason, no matter which way he tossed and turned, his blanket never seemed to stop itching. His pillow was far too lumpy.

It seemed the end of their conversation just left every cell in his body quake with anxiety.

Was it because Akaashi was afraid of him failing?

If anything, that would reflect quite badly on him as a (somewhat uncompensated) tutor. Not to mention it would severely injure his beliefs in his own degree of understanding. 

No, Bokuto should definitely NOT fail. 

Was he a bad boyfriend, if he didn’t go to Bokuto right now? Shouldn’t he be there to comfort him? Or should he let him focus before his exam?

When more than ten minutes passed with there being no chance of him finding sleep, he stoically threw his blanket to the side. 

What am I doing?

Shoving a jacket on, he hastily picked up his phone and ran down the stairs to see his oka-san sitting at the kotatsu .

Keiji’s father usually bathed before sleeping, so he was in all likelihood, in the bathroom. Most of the time, his mother read a book, occasionally with a glass of wine. But only if his dad was drinking with her. Today, she seemed to be watching a movie, one which one of their teammates had recommended to Akaashi and he had passed it on to her.

Sometimes, she even watched anime that Bokuto insisted Keiji could not live without. Although, she did point out that they could sometimes do without all the screaming.

“Oka-san?”

Setting her little teacup down, she tore her eyes away from the screen, eyes widening when they saw him. Considering how loudly he had come down the wooden stairs, she must have truly been immersed to not have noticed him by the thumping.

“Kei? I thought you’d be sleeping right now! What are you doing up?”

“Can… can I go to Bokuto-san’s house?”

Blinking for a moment, she seemed confused as she eyed the watch still strapped around her wrist. 

“At this time? Are you sure?”

“Uh- Bokuto-san’s nervous. For his exam tomorrow. I’m just going to…to..”

“Help him revise?” She asked sceptically, raising her eyebrow. Her eyes… his eyes narrowed, and he knew she was seeing through his poorly assembled facade. 

In that moment, his mind decided it was a brilliant time to flash the memories of his first conversation about Bokuto with his mother.

Of course she would see through him.

She had been seeing through him before he had yet to open his own eyes towards his feelings.

Even though he had never really spent a lot of time with his mother, she seemed to be able to see through him just as easily as Koutaro did.

Or maybe he wasn’t as closed off as he thought he was.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I can’t let you go on the trains alone this late.” She said tightly, her brows furrowing as Akaashi’s face fell.

In the past two years, while he had tried to become more expressive, it seemed he really had to work on reigning it in again, even if it was just a little bit. 

“If you really want to go, how about I drop you off?”

Confused, he looked at her with a tilted head.

“ Oka-san , you’re okay with me going this late?”

“Don’t be ridiculous, would I have let you sleep over there if I wasn’t okay with it?”

While a pit formed at the base of his stomach as he troubled his parents with this, he tried to dismiss the sensation.

Somehow, the feeling of knowing Koutaro wanted him there and he wasn’t was much, much worse.

“Are you sure?”

“It’s just a 15 minute drive, Kei-chan.” She said with a wave of her hand, rising out of the kotatsu . With practised deftness, she picked up her teacup, placing it on the kitchen counter. Grabbing a sticky note, she scrawled something for his father as she grabbed the car keys that sat on a small tray near the door. “And, I really don’t feel comfortable letting you use the trains so late. Especially alone. So I might as well drive you.”

In a daze, Keiji robotically helped his mom into her jacket as they stepped out of the warmth of their home.

Everything happened so quickly, it felt like he watched a small montage from a movie. The reality of his actions seemed to hit him along with the frigid air, and Akaashi couldn’t help but feel slightly mortified. 

However, a small part of him also wanted to laugh.

A few weeks ago, Bokuto’s sisters had convinced the two of them to sit and watch a shoujo anime with them. Akaashi had been extremely surprised when Bokuto did not even utter a simple word of complaint. Well, it certainly didn’t seem like they were roping him in for the first time.

It wasn’t often that his sisters convinced them to watch something with them, and Keiji couldn’t help but be mildly intrigued.

Turns out, it was an insanely cheesy romance anime, which really made it difficult for him to look Bokuto in the eye for the duration of the episode. It was only later that the two of them spoke about it. While Koutaro was extremely adamant on being as expressive and dramatic as the male lead, Akaashi really did not feel it was his place to say something.

Real life wasn’t like an anime.

There were no demons to fight. No enemies to defeat.

No need for over exaggerated displays of affection…?

At least, that’s what he used to think.

When he had watched them alone a few years ago, he could never imagine going so out of his way to do anything for someone else.

However, he himself without realising had done so much for Koutaro without sparing a second thought. The most surprising part, he always felt like he could never give enough.

Maybe now, he understood that overdramatic protagonist more than he cared to admit. 

Despite everything, he still felt somewhat distanced from Bokuto. 

A planet restricted in its orbit, unable to move even an inch closer. 

Koutaro was meant to shine, whether it be on the court, or just seeing him on the street.
An untouchable star. 

There was nothing about him that didn't make Akaashi want to stop and take it all in.

On the other hand, Keiji was just… well, Keiji.

Although his marks were excellent, what’s another well scoring kid in a country full of them?

Keiji truly believed that Koutaro could be the best player in their country. Who was he in front of that?

Shaking his head, as if it would reset his brain, Keiji brought his attention back to the present.

Way to keep things a secret .

Rubbing his hands together, he followed his mom into their driveway, wordlessly sitting in the passenger seat of their spotless sedan.

The car was given to them from the company his mother worked at. They replaced it every 4-5 years whenever they felt the model no longer suited her image. Aside from the daily ups and downs to her office, the car did not get to explore much. Oddly, it still seemed to have the strange scent of a new car clinging to it.

For Akaashi too, this was a novel situation.

He really couldn’t recall the last time he was sitting in a car.

The last time he was sitting in a car with his oka-san driving.

“Buckled in?” She asked, blue eyes darting towards him just to make sure as he hummed as a reply. “Alright then let’s get going.”

Wordlessly, Akaashi put the address in the little touchscreen on the dashboard before relaxing in his seat.

Despite having been a regular visitor at the Bokuto household, he’d never had his mom drive him there. While she knew where he lives, he thought the map would just be more convenient.

For a moment, he considered putting on one headphone, but felt it would be a little rude.

Contrary to his worst fears, his mother didn’t say much. Or anything at all.

Like he used to when he was much younger, he watched his mother drive, her eyes, the ones he too inherited, focused on the road.

Although sometimes, she did make some jokes about her growing age, he really didn’t see much of a mark of it on her face. Knowing how old she was, he had seen many adults the same age looking ten years older. Her eyes still had a youthful spark to them, which wasn’t something cosmetic surgery could ever help anyone achieve.

While both his parents were good drivers, there was a certain comfort in sitting in the car with his mother. A comfort he really couldn’t describe, but it felt like she brought a bit of home with her wherever she went.

Watching her, he suddenly felt five years old again.

If she noticed him staring, she didn’t point it out. 

Sadly, the grace period only lasted until they pulled up in front of Koutaro’s house.

Sensing a certain danger, his hand immediately reached for the handle of the door, but his mother beat him to it.

Just as he was about to taste freedom, he heard the click of the locks sliding in. Suddenly he was a little rabbit cornered by a very, very hungry fox. 

“Keiji- chan . Wait.”

Oh no, here it comes.

Sighing to himself, he slumped back in his seat and slowly looked at his mother, not quite meeting her eyes.

Considering how she had accused him of liking Bokuto in the first few months of joining high school, he was afraid of what was coming. Of course she knew. Well, they hadn’t been very inconspicuous either. All the touchy study sessions, the family meals, the sleepovers. He REALLY hadn’t been inconspicuous.

So what was it going to be? Sleepover bans? No closed doors? What if she refused their impro-

“Well, I didn’t exactly want to bring this up now , but it's not very often I get you alone like this. So, I’m just going to go ahead and say it. I- I know your oto-san and I haven’t really been around a lot for you.”

Head snapping up, he saw her face wearing an expression so solemn, one might have thought someone had died. Immediately the bubbling embarrassment simmered down. Instead, he could feel the dull throbbing of his heart in his chest as his mom continued. 

“But… I really hope that we can try to work on it now, and make it up to you. If you want…”

Forgetting all about why they were there in the first place, Keiji was stunned into silence.

Never.

That’s precisely how many times he had imagined this conversation ever taking place.

Akaashi had never thought his mother would ever say anything remotely close to what she just said.

Throughout his childhood, and even now, he never wanted to hold their working hours against them. Although he could admit there were times in his life he wished they had been there, he never found it unforgivable.

Some things just couldn’t be helped.

Had they not worked so hard, he wouldn’t have been able to go to schools like Fukurodani in the first place. 

Part of him wondered if he had fallen asleep and he was just dreaming.

Dreaming the entire conversation, and his poorly concealed rendezvous. 

“Oka-san… This is a little out of nowhere, but I'm not upset with you. Or with dad. It wasn’t really your fault.”

It wasn’t anyone’s fault. 

Considering everything, Akaashi’s world had just become isolated a little quicker than what could be considered normal, but he had taken upon himself to discover peace in that. 

“You’re a wonderful son. You always have been.” She said softly, her hand hesitantly reaching for him. “We just want to be a little more involved in your life.”

“I… I know.” He blurted out stupidly, looking down at where her hand held his. “Oto-san and Oka-san even came to watch my matches this year. You’ve been there more even after practice too.”

With those words, his mom practically melted into the seat, and Keiji could not help the stabbing guilt in his gut.

How long had this been eating away at his mother for her to bring up this way?

How long had he let his parents believe he didn’t want them in his life?

“I know we can never really make up for all the time we didn’t spend with you, but we’re going to try harder.”

“You don’t have to, Oka-san. You were trying to do the best for all of us. You shouldn't apologise for that. There’s nothing to make up for.”

“And, in an ideal world, you wouldn’t have to comfort me.” she retorted, and he squeezed her hand. He felt his eyes burn, but he tried his best to hold back the tears. 

God, I really am a cry baby. 

“I’ll understand if you don’t really wan-”

“I do.” he interrupted. “I want to be closer to both of you too.”

Giving him a tight smile, she squeezed his hand back.

“Just remember, you don’t owe anything to us, okay? If you feel uncomfortable or want us to do something differently just say the word.”

Dumbstruck, Akaashi just stared at his mother. 

Truly caught off guard, he could not even stumble across the right answer if he tried. His mother’s sudden confession felt as if he was being waterboarded by emotions.

While there had been times in his life he had spared the loneliness conscious thought, it had never brought itself up in recent times. The older he got, the more he understood his parents. So, if he could understand, wouldn’t it be wrong not to forgive them for it?

“Alright, so do you have something you want to tell meee?” She asked coyly, probably sensing his brain on the brink of short circuiting.  “Maybe something to do with why we’re here when you can’t even keep your eyes open after 10:30pm?”

Oh no, here it comes.

“Uh…”

“About the boy you have literally spent most of your free time for two years with?”

“…”

“Finally realised you have feelings for him?”

Despite himself, Akaashi felt his face becoming warm, and he knew his mother’s smile was only growing.

“Was it that obvious?”

Cheering gleefully, she ruffled his hair before squishing his cheeks. 

“AAAAAAAAA, oh my god my little baby has a boyfriend!!!!” She squealed, and Akaashi was convinced the entire street could hear them. “I’ve been waiting FOR SO LONG-”

“ Oka-san… ”

After a few more seconds of unintelligible garble from his mother. And a lot of squishing, she finally backed away enough for him to breathe.

“Are you happy, Keiji?”

For a moment, he was silent, and his eyes darted towards the Bokuto household. The lights in Koutaro’s room weren’t completely off, so he knew he was still awake.

Good.

“Yeah… I am.”

Taking her hands away, his oka-san rested her head on them to look at him, eyes sparkling with amusement.

“And erm, do I have to have that conversation wi-”

“NO, no I don’t think that necessary.” He interrupted. “Really, I don’t think you have to.”

“I do feel like it’s my responsibility as a parent to-”

“ Oka-san , I really don’t think it’s necessary.” he insisted, not meeting her eye.

“Alriiight.” she sighed with a mock disappointment. “So how long have you liked him? I bet you liked him since you started practising with him!”

That was a question Akaashi didn’t know how to answer either.

Of course he had cared for Bokuto as a friend from the beginning. He was the kind of person that you couldn’t help but devote your heart to without paying it any mind. At this point, it would be difficult, and possibly futile to even attempt to discover when the nature of that devotion was altered.

When was it?

The first training camp?

Their first attempt at nationals?

What was it that made it change?
“I’m not entirely sure, but I think for quite some time now.” He answered about as truthfully as he could.
“Oh you should have seeen the look on your face when you talk about him! You’d think it was love at first sight.”

Although he had been greatly influenced to come to Fukurodani after seeing Bokuto, he wouldn’t have called that love , exactly.

Admiration, he felt, was a better word.

The form of love a person holds for a person or an idea they treat with reverence. Something beyond them. He came to the school mostly to witness the growth of that glimmering star. Little did he know he’d start gravitating towards it too.

And, it seemed far too early to be considering words like love . 

“ Oka-san …”

“Alright alright.” 

Unbuckling her seatbelt, she unlocked the car doors. “C’mon let’s go, I know you wanna get up there as fast as possible.”

Fumbling with his seatbelt, he followed his mother out of the car and towards the door of the house.

As she rang the bell, he watched her warily.

Was his mother really about to let him sleep over if he had just admitted to Koutaro being his boyfriend? Considering how she got out of the car, and seemed to be coming inside, his chances seemed to be diminishing by the second.

“Uhm, oka-san?”
“Yes yes, I’m gonna let you sleep over Keiji, don’t worry. Just going to say hi to Kou-chan’s mother.” She reassured him, and he wondered whether all moms were telepathic.

Within seconds, the door swung open, and Hiroto stood before them. Her hair was held back with a fluffy hairband, and she was holding a toothbrush in her hand. Almost comically, her eyes widened as she saw the two of them standing there, and tried to hide the brush behind her back.

“Keiji-kun?!” She asked incredulously, and immediately cleared her throat to look at his mother. “And, Akaashi-san!”

Before Keiji could even get a word in, his mother interceded.

“Hiroto-chan, I told you, just call me oka-san .” She scolded, waving her hand dismissively. “Is your brother still awake?”

“Oh yeah, go on up there, little Kei.” she said with a wink, moving aside to let them through. “Aka- oka-san can follow me, mom’s in the living room.”

Fighting his instincts to run up the stairs immediately, he went to greet Bokuto’s mother first. With a hastily bid goodnight, he nearly ran up the stairs, slipping twice before he reached Koutaro’s room.

Once he saw the familiar door standing slightly ajar, he could not think of whatever their mothers would be cooking up together. For some reason, his breath caught in his chest, much like after he set the ball for an attack.

There was a chasm eerily stretching open in front of him, filling with uncertainty.

In those few moments after tossing, where he knew he could do nothing more to change the outcome, he often forgot how to breathe. The sensation of relinquishing control made his heart race in his chest. 

Why am I scared?

It was a simple thought, but oh so important.

There was no monster looming behind that door, it was just Bokuto. The same Bokuto he had known for 2 years. 

Without knocking, he opened the door and immediately saw Bokuto ducking his phone under the covers and shrieking. The little lamp on his bedside table was still on, and beside it the notes Akaashi had helped him compile.

“I WASN’T ON MY PHONE!”

“That’s a lie, Koutaro-san.”

As if he was loaded with a spring, Bokuto shot up and his eyes darted towards the door. Like a deer caught in headlights, he stared at him with a horrified shock.

In that moment, he felt a pit in his stomach grow, as if about to eat him alive.

However realisation must have crept in, letting him see that it was not in fact Sora standing at the door. Immediately, the ice receded from Akaashi’s veins as Koutaro flashed him an uncontrolled grin.

The cage of ice around his heart shattered, a

“AKAASHI?!! What’re you doing here?!”

“Well, you’re the one who said you can’t sleep without me there.” He said simply, not being able to contain his smile as he walked towards him. Before he could even cover half the distance, Bokuto scrambled off the bed and wrapped his arms around him in a bone crushing hug.

You would have thought after 2 years of playing matches with him, Keiji would have gotten used to that hug. 

In all honesty, the only thing he could do was pray to god that his ribs didn’t get dislocated.

Bokuto must have just showered, considering he smelled like his shampoo. Unlike a lot of the other people on their team, Koutaro never used those horrible 3-1 shampoo-conditioner-body wash monstrosities.

Most probably because of the guidance of his sisters. 

So his hair never had the overbearing scent of those horrible chemicals. Instead there was always a mild floral scent which Akaashi would never get bored with. If anything, he really had to resist the urge to inhale deeply.

“Keiji, I think you’re a little crazy.” he whispered incredulously, his breath tickling Akaashi’s neck. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

“I think the words you’re looking for are, ‘you’re the best boyfriend in the world.’” 

Pulling away slightly, Bokuto cupped his face with both hands. Although the skin on his hands was rough, the way Koutaro touched him always made him feel so cherished .

“Can I kiss you?”

Slightly dazed, Akaashi let out a small hum of agreement before Bokuto kissed him. 

Between the hug, and now the kiss, he really couldn’t breathe.

Well this was as good a way as any to go.

At least he wasn’t dying with any regrets.

Just as he had made his peace with his untimely death, the kiss was over. His lungs finally got the air they were screaming for as Bokuto pulled away and stared at him.

Although he was used to being watched by Bokuto, his face became hot due to the intensity of his gaze. 

“You’re the best boyfriend in the world!” he said with a grin, eyes disappearing into little crescents. His hands were still holding him, and before Keiji could say anything, Koutaro peppered kisses all over his face.

Unable to stop himself from laughing, he wrapped his arms around Koutaro’s waist, keeping him close. It was hard to imagine only a few weeks ago, he was too afraid to even touch him.

Not to mention, he was so warm . Being in his arms was like finally sitting in front of a heater after a long day being exposed to the extreme winter. The kind of warmth that chased out any kind of ache out of his body. As always, Akaashi always thought he was warm enough when he stepped out of the house. He always promised himself he would never again underestimate the cold. However, he seemed to be overestimating himself.  All that usually went out the window as soon as he would wind up next to Bokuto. 

Once he was done, he pulled away for a second, watching Akaashi with a gaze that peeled away all his veils, reading his soul like an open book. 

“You’re gonna spoil me, Kei-chan.” he groaned, holding him by shoulders and gently shaking him.
“Oh no, you caught me. How ever will I carry out my evil plans now?” He sighed, letting Bokuto sway him for a few more seconds before he felt himself being pulled into another hug. “Shouldn’t Bokuto-san be crying like that girl from the anime?”

“Do you want me to cry?” He asked inquisitively, seeming to actually consider it.

“Hm, only because it will show your immense devotion for me.” He started dramatically, and Bokuto gave a confused grunt in reply. “Guess real life is pretty different from anime after all.”

This time, Koutaro didn’t pin his arms to his sides, letting him hug him back. While he left an arm around Koutaro’s waist to hold him, Akaashi let his other hand brush through his dishevelled hair.

“Hey, but I did all the hugs and kisses!”

“Well, I’m definitely not going to complain about that.”

Humming contentedly, Bokuto nuzzled his neck as Akaashi sifted his hands through his soft locks. With his soft lips brushing against the sensitive skin on his neck, Akaashi had to keep himself from shivering. 

“I’m going to put you in my bag, Keiji.” Whispered Bokuto against his neck.

For a few seconds his mind was utterly blank, leaving him unable to formulate even basic words. Akaashi hoped for his own sanity, Koutaro would move his head slightly.

Slightly shaking his head, Keiji turned just enough to be able to press a kiss to his temple. Practically melting into his arms, Bokuto let out a sigh as he essentially welded into him.  

“That’s human trafficking.” Akaashi chuckled against his skin.

And this time, he really did smell his hair in earnest, the mix of scents reminding him more of home than anything else ever could. 

His own room was so utterly sterile, one could smell the scent of the cleaning soaps. On the other hand, Koutaro’s house always smelled faintly of lemongrass. While there was no diffuser in his room, a hint of the smell clung to him like drifting leaves caught by a passing breeze.   

“I don’t care.” he said resolutely, still hiding his face in Keiji's neck. Since he was slightly taller, it forced him to lean with a significant degree of his weight falling on Akashi. However, he was a well versed veteran when it came to Bokuto and his hugs. “I wanna put ya in my bag and take you everywhere.”

“Can’t believe I’m dating a criminal.” Akaashi said in mock admonishment, rubbing circles on Bokuto’s back. Under his hands he could feel the thick cords of muscle running just below his skin. For the sake of self control, and his peace of mind, he tried his best to not think further along that line. 

Either way, Keiji’s heart seemed to be doing cartwheels in his chest with every word Koutaro spoke. Like always, he was so open with his affection, it took a minute for it to register in his mind. Outward affection was so alien to him, even after two years of exposure it seemed like a distant delusion.

As much as he wished they could stand there forever, he pulled away as much as he could to make Koutaro look at him.

While those golden eyes always shined with some kind of determination, seeing them just before sleeping was entirely different. Even with a thousand thoughts scattered within them, they looked at Keiji as if everything else had melted away.

Sensing his breath catching in his chest, he brought his hand up to brush against Koutaro’s cheek. In the dim light, he really couldn’t tell, however they were definitely warmer than the rest of him. 

“Bokuto-san, I meant it when I said you should sleep on time.” 

“Hey, I really couldn’t sleep. I was trying!” He pouted, brows furrowing as he attempted to defend himself.

Pursing his lips, Keiji lightly flicked the side of his head. 

“Then why were you on your phone?” He challenged, trying not to smile.

“I was textin’ Kuroo!” He admitted, not meeting Keiji’s eyes as he scratched the side of his head.

“He couldn’t sleep either?”

“Guess not.”

Feeling his hold loosen, Akaashi wiggled enough to grab his hand and lead him towards the bed.

Although he had grown excited at the whole surprising-his-boyfriend-in-the-middle-of-the-night thing, he was extremely exhausted.

Usually extremely diligent with his sleep schedule, Keiji had stuck to it. However exams seemed to suck out every ounce of energy from him. Had it not been for Koutaro, he would have been laying in his bed like a mummy. He often took a nap after returning home, but he had spent a good part of his day with his parents and revising for his next that he had forgotten. 

“Well…I’m sleepy Bokuto-san, let’s go to bed.”

Instead of replying, Koutaro held his hand tighter, allowing himself to be led to bed. Knowing Keiji preferred to sleep on the side away from the door, he waited for him to get rid of his jacket before slipping under the blanket.

Akaashi mostly preferred not to share his blanket, however Bokuto did not move much. It was also quite chilly, and Keiji would be lying if he said he didn’t want Bokuto to hold him. 

If anything, Bokuto was spoiling him.

For once, Akaashi wanted to let himself be spoiled.

Between all the idle torches and the constant sticking with him, he really didn’t know how he was going to survive without him.

Once Koutaro too was settled in, Akaashi immediately froze up beside him, not wanting to admit how cold his feet were growing. However there was no hiding it as they brushed against Bokuto’s and he flinched, nearly howling. 

“How do you get so cold?!” he groaned, but his eyes were still sparkling, so Akaashi knew he wasn’t really annoyed.

Slightly unsure of what to do, Keiji fiddled with the end of the blanket.

While there were a thousand ways he wanted to cuddle Koutaro, he felt like he was strapped to a straightjacket. What if he made Bokuto uncomfortable? While they had shared a bed before, they had nev-

No doubt sensing his awkwardness, Bokuto turned towards him and lightly put an arm around his waist.

Just like that, his thoughts were cut like a flimsy thread dangling out of a seam. 

“Is this okay?” he asked softly, not letting the full weight fall on Akaashi.

Without a word, he let out a breath of relief before turning and tugging at Bokuto’s other arm. Slightly surprised, Koutaro stretched it out, and Akaashi shifted closer to him until he was pressed against his chest.

What difference was there, really, between hugging him this way, and sleeping this way? Why did his mind always find a way to drive a cold knife of uncertainty into his heart?

The arm around his waist tightened and Keiji curled his fingers into Bokuto’s shirt before closing his eyes. 

Soon enough Koutaro curled his other arm as well, wrapping it around his shoulders until he was caged against his body.

“‘Kaashi, your brain, it’s so loud.”

There really was no escaping him.

“Really?”

“There’s so much going on behind your eyes all the time.” He clucked. “I get tired just looking at you.”

Caught like a deer in headlights, Keiji froze as he continued to call him out.

“Are you thinking that, ‘oh if I do this, Bokuto-san might feel weird’?” Asked Bokuto softly. Whenever Keiji did not answer, he refused to accept his silence as a reply, poking him until he spoke up. “I’m right, right?”

“Uhm…yeah.”

For a moment, the room was filled with a near suffocating silence. With no way to gauge Bokuto’s thoughts, Keiji could do nothing but lay there, utterly helpless and at his mercy.

“You’re really funny.”

“Oh?” Biting back an absurd smile, Keiji relaxed in his hold. “Why do you say that?”

“Sometimes, you’re brave enough to kiss me in front of everyone at school-”

“Erm.”

“-and sometimes you’re too scared to touch me when we’re alone.” He finished resolutely, hands gripping onto Keiji a little tighter by the end.

“Don’t you get scared, Bokuto-san?”

“I get scared! But, I’m not scared of you.”

“Really?”

“I’m scared of you when you’re teaching me, but not right now!” He corrected himself. “Why’re you scared of me??”

“I…. I’m not exactly scared of you .” He said softly. “I just don’t want to make you uncomfortable…”

Growing quiet again, Koutaro seemed to take some time to decide on an answer.

“Akaashi, I’m gonna tell you if I don’t like something. So you do that too!”

Inhaling deeply, he let out a breath of relief, slightly shaking his head.

“Alright.”

Bokuto’s hand squeezed his shoulder, and Keiji couldn’t help but feel slightly dumb.

It seems like he still had a lot to learn.

“I think I’m really lucky.” said Bokuto softly, and Akaashi moved away just enough to look at him.

Where did that come from?

Snaking his hand up from where it was on his chest, Keiji lightly cupped Koutaro’s face. His eyes widened, and he drew in a sharp breath as Keiji brushed his thumb over his cheekbone.

The way Bokuto was looking at him made his stomach do cartwheels in his gut, and as much as he wanted to shy away, he didn’t have the heart to look away. 

“No, I think I’m the lucky one, Bokuto-san.” He whispered back, and Koutaro grinned.

“We can both be lucky!”

“That’s a fair point.” he relinquished with a smile of his own. “But, if I hadn’t seen you play that match three years ago, I might not have been here at all.”

“Would you have played volleyball somewhere else?”

“Probably…”

For a moment, his mind flashed back to the view he had from the court.

Bokuto with his entire being humming with power, waiting for him to set the ball to him. All those expectant faces, waiting. Waiting for him to decide what was best. The look on the opposite team when they scored the point. The exhilaration that made him forget his inhibitions and actually hug Bokuto the way he should always have. A power like no other, knowing you overcame the other team’s intrinsic strategies.

Even though he may not have been the best, it was difficult to relinquish the satisfaction of winning.

“Yeah. I would have.” He corrected himself. “But I wouldn’t have enjoyed it as much if it was without you.”

“Well, then I probably would have liked you anyway!” Huffed Bokuto resolutely.

“I don’t think you would have even noticed me, Bokuto-san.”

“Eh?! How can you say that?!”

“Would you have ever seen me if I hadn’t set for you in practice?” he asked quietly, feeling his eyes sting a little. His heartbeat was deafening in his ears as he averted his gaze to look at where his hand rested on Bokuto’s chest. “On the court you don’t have eyes on anything but the ball. I’m not someone who stands out, like you. You probably would never have seen me.”

Bokuto was quiet for a moment that seemed stretched out into a lifetime. Unable to bear that silence, Akaashi looked up to find Koutaro staring at him.

“Kei-chan, do you think just because you’re not like me, you’re not good at volleyball?”

Akaashi would never be able to understand how at times, Koutaro seemed to read his mind.

Occasionally, even better than he could read himself.

Unable to mutter a single counter argument, Akaashi fell silent as Bokuto grinned.

“Bingo.”

“I’ll never be as good a-”

“So what? You’re you , Akaashi! We got to nationals because of you. Twice . Your tosses are amazing!”

“Well… it wasn’t just me..”

“You’ve been on the main team since you came here! We’re a strong school! Why’re you saying you’re in- infe…”

“Inferior?” he offered, voice barely above a whisper as he alleviated the frustration on Bokuto’s face when the word alluded him. 

“Inferior! To me?!”

“Uhm…”

“You’re really smart. And you’re really good at volleyball!!” He declared, poking Keiji in the middle of his forehead. “I know I’m like a big baby sometimes. And I know that ‘cause of me, we end up in trouble sometimes. But you’re… you’re-”

“Consistent?”

“Yeah! It’s okay that you got feelings sometimes. But you always get us out of messes!” He insisted, pausing for a moment to look at Keiji quizzically. “If you know I’m gonna say those words, then don’t you know all these things, Kaashi?!”

Dropping his gaze again, he hid his face in Koutaro’s neck as he felt the first tear slide out of his eyes.

Between his mother and Koutaro, his mind was reeling from all the sudden influx of a hurricane of emotions.

For quite a long time, he had made peace with being just Akaashi. At not being number one at anything. 

Bokuto was the star. He was just a lonely planet who couldn’t help but be ensnared in his gravity.

Maybe somewhere along the line, he forgot that in the night sky, planets glowed just as bright as stars.

Never before had he felt so… so seen .

In a sky full of stars, Bokuto still sought him out.

For so long he had felt lost in a drowsy fog. His entire life was too hazy an experience to recall. The noises in his head constantly drowned out everything until he felt like a hollow shell.

Until Bokuto,

Until he with his simple minded determination swept away the endless haze. 

“Did I say something wrong?! Are you okay?” Squeaked Bokuto, trying to ease him out from his hiding space, but Akaashi didn’t budge.

The fact that he cried so easily made him want to hide in a ditch until it was over. If people thought Bokuto’s mood swings were debilitating, they should see him cry.

Not the way he had in public after their matches. The raw, unmasked, ugly sniffling. The crying where his face was splotched with red, and lungs that were determined to release the most embarrassing sounds.

However, here, there was nowhere to run.

Really though, in any other situation, he couldn’t imagine a better place to be than in Koutaro’s arms.

When he tried to open his mouth to say he was okay, his tears began falling even harder. Despite him trying his best to control it, he knew his breath would start hitching soon. 

Trying his best to keep his breathing even, he clutched onto Bokuto even tighter as he felt a sniffle build up. 

Once again, Koutaro tugged at his shirt, and as much as he wanted to stay hidden forever, Akaashi relinquished and shifted away to glance up towards him. 

“Keiji! Did I-”

“N-no, you-” Before he could even finish his sentence, he saw the panic in Bokuto’s eyes and in between a fresh wave of tears, he let out a small laugh. However that laugh died down as soon as it came bubbling up. “I’m okay!” 

“I didn’t mean to-” He babbled, his hand coming up to wipe away Akaashi’s tears.

How many times am I going to cry in front of him?

“It’s not- It’s not your fault…” He mumbled, his face growing even warmer as he saw Koutaro’s eyes dutifully trained onto him. “I…”

“You get a little too lost in your head sometimes.” Grumbles Bokuto, pressing a fleeting kiss on his forehead. “But it’s okay, I’ll come with you now!”

“Are you sure?” He sniffed, having completely submitted to Koutaro wiping away his tears.

His hands were callused and rough from all the volleyball practice.

That was just it.

Everything around Akaashi at home had always been untouched and pristine. Since they had only moved into their new home three or so years ago, the furniture still looked like it was bought yesterday.

In contrast to that, Bokuto’s doorways were scratched with little markings from measuring his height. The edges of the furniture were worn with age, and the polish dulled over time. Each time they moved, the bedframe would let out a complaining creak. Some corners of the rooms were still scribbled on with pens and crayons. Everywhere he would look, there were memories deeply intertwined with the foundation of the home itself. There was not a single corner where his eyes would fall that did not betray Koutaro’s presence. 

No matter how rough on the edges, the way he touched him, Akaashi felt like the most delicate porcelain, ready to snap with one wrong move. 

Never before had he relied on someone this way. His parents were too busy. For his friends, this seemed too heavy a burden. Up until Bokuto, no one had ever seen him cry in private. 

Tears that really did not seem to be ending. “It’s not always the nicest journey.”

“Hey, if ya gotta deal with all my mood swings, I’m gonna do this too!” He declared. “And you’re definitely not gonna stop me!”

“I don’t think anyone can.” Chuckled Akaashi, immediately letting out a hiccup. “You’re like a force of nature, Bokuto-san.”

“That’s okay! Because I’m your force of nature, Akaashi.”

“Then I think I really am the luckier one.”

“Hey! We’re both lucky, we just talked about this!” He huffed impatiently, brushing away the fresh tears. “And, y’know… I would’ve found you anyway Akaashi. Even if you weren’t on my team.”

Despite his tears, he felt a smile slowly spread on his face.

“You… Do you really mean that?”

“Yeah! I would find you anyway.”

“Even if I didn’t play volleyball?”

“Even then!”

The rational part of his mind tutted condescendingly.

What was the point of talking about this? It’s not like it could ever possibly happen. So, what was the point of talking about something hypothetical?

It wasn’t real, so why did he cling to Koutaro’s words as if they tethered him to safety?

“Hey, why are you crying harder?!”

Letting out a strained laugh, Keiji tried not to let his breathing hitch again as he returned to his hiding place. This time Bokuto didn’t seem very adamant in drawing him out. 

“I’m just... Feeling a lot of things right now.” he admitted softly, his lips brushing against the skin on Bokuto’s neck. As soon as the words left him, he felt Koutaro’s grip on him tighten.

“Are they good things?”

“Most of them are?”

For a moment, Koutaro was silent, leaving Akaashi’s sniffles the only sounds in the room.

He really was such a crybaby.

“Okay.” he whispered softly, his hand gently cradling Akaashi’s head, pressing them closer together. “You can stay here as long as you want Keiji. We can talk about all that later!”

Feeling more tears threaten him with their presence, he shut his eyes. Without a word, he clung onto him tighter, feeling Bokuto’s collarbone dig into his chin. With all the tears and Koutaro’s arms wound so tightly around him, he almost felt like he was suffocating. However, he wasn’t ready to leave just yet. 

“Can… Can we talk about something else?” He asked softly, and thankfully Bokuto was quick to oblige. 

“Oh! Okay yeah! Kuroo was telling me about his exams too.”

Having been wrapped up in his own life, Keiji had forgotten his friend who was suffering just like him.

Kenma. 

Although they had spoken quite recently, they hadn’t gotten the chance to talk about something like this. Knowing the tornado of emotions engulfing his mind, it wasn’t difficult for him to empathise with Kenma. It was because of this that it did not feel right to talk about it over the phone.

“Are they going alright?” 

“He doesn’t talk about his exams a lot. He keeps telling me that Kenma’s not studying enough.”

“Seems like Kuroo-san and I have something in common.” Akaashi whispered, smiling to himself. 

“Huh?”

“Boyfriends that don’t like studying.”

“Hey! If there was an exam on volleyball, I’d ace that!” Complained Bokuto. 

“Well, you are the ace after all.”

“Why can’t you support me like this in front of him?!” 

“Because teasing you is extremely entertaining.” He chuckled, feeling Bokuto relax a little at the sound.

“You’re so meaaan.” He grumbled, poking Akaashi’s ribs. Unlike Koutaro, he was not ticklish, which made it even more frustrating for him when Keiji poked back. Squirming, he moved away just enough to grab his hand. 

Caught up in the moment, he opened his eyes, looking upwards to find Bokuto beaming at him.

Every day, for quite some time, he had always had to fight the urge to grab Koutaro and kiss him. Even if it was in a hallway full of students, or a quiet night alone. Each time he saw his smile he felt like a piece of the heavens descended just for him. 

“Got youuu.” Gleamed Koutaro, bringing Akaashi’s hand to his lips to press a kiss over his knuckle. 

Huffing, Akaashi slipped his hand out of Bokuto’s, pulling his face down for a short kiss.

“It’s not fair.” Bokuto pouted against his lips. “You’re so pretty, Keiji.”

Heart fluttering in his chest, he froze in place as Bokuto pressed a kiss to his forehead. 

“Bokuto-san…” 

“How do you look so pretty all the time?”

“I… I don’t look even half as nice as you.”

“Liar.”

“Have you ever known me to lie?” He asked with mock astonishment. “I would never lie to you, Koutaro-san.”

“I know that’s a lie!”

“Okay when have I lied to you?”

“All those times when you told me there was a girl in the audience cheering for me.”

“Wow, really starting off strong aren’t we? Guess I’m gonna have to actually send a girl to cheer for you in the audience now.”

“I want you to cheer for me.” He said petulantly, and Akaashi had to restrain himself to not kiss him again.

“Oh so you don’t want me to play with you?”

Taken aback, Koutaro blinked at him, trying to formulate a reply. 

“Hey… wait a second-”

“I see how it is, Bokuto-san.” He sighed, lightly shaking his head. 

“Akaashi-”

“I guess you lied to me too then…”

“ Akaashiiiiii .”

Smiling, Keiji poked Bokuto’s nose, making his face scrunch up.

“You’re so fun to tease.” He said playfully, and Bokuto huffed. “You don’t have to worry, Koutaro-san, I’ll be there for all your games.”

“Promise?” He asked, bringing his hand up between them, wiggling his pinky finger.

With a small smile, he wrapped his pinky around Koutaro’s.

“Of course.” He obliged, heart aching at the thought of no longer having the privilege of meeting Bokuto like this. “I’ll do my best to attend every single one, I promise.”

Pressing his forehead against Keiji’s, Bokuto let out a small sigh, making his heart sink further into his chest.

Somehow, he knew the words that he was about to utter before they even felt the cares of the warm air. He knew, because those words haunted him, lingering in every dark crevice of his mind. 

“I’m gonna miss you so much, Keiji.” he whispered, more soft spoken than he had ever been before. 

“Bokuto-san, let’s not go down this road unless you want me to cry again.”

“Oh no, nope no okay wait uh-”

Tilting his face to the side, Akaashi kissed him, and Koutaro froze for a moment. It didn’t take him even a second after that to melt into Keiji’s touch. This time, Akaashi took his time, running his fingers through Bokuto’s hair. The kiss tasted like mint toothpaste, making his tongue tingle from the peculiar sensation.

Unintentionally, Akaashi made Bokuto lean back until he lay almost flat against the mattress. Holding himself up on his elbow, Keiji was the first to move away.

Kissing him was like being trapped in quicksand. At first glance, it was a completely harmless patch of sand. Only after stepping in that harmless sand was it possible to understand its lethality. Only if he moved away fast enough, he might get out with his sanity intact. However, each time it seemed to become increasingly difficult to find his way out. 

“Bokuto-san, let’s not think about that just yet.” He said softly, slightly slower than usual as he tried to catch his breath. “You’re gonna be studying in Waseda, it’s not very far away. We’ll make time.”

“What about when you go to Komazawa?”

“Well, if I get in-”

“ When .” Corrected Bokuto, frowning as he stared at him. “When you go.”

“ When I get in, we’ll just be 48 minutes away by bus.”

“FORTY EIGHT MINUTES?!”

“It’s not that long… not even 20 songs if you think about it.”

“Anime openings are kinda short though.”

“You shouldn’t listen to the TV versions. Listen to the whole song, the experience is very different.”

“Really? I should try that then.”

“If you do that, it’ll only be 15 songs.” he reminded softly. “Just fifteen songs between you and me.”

For a moment, Bokuto just looked at him, the same peculiar way he always did. Akaashi could occasionally understand what went on behind those unblinking golden eyes. However, ever since the night they confessed to each other, the possibilities had become endless to a point where he could never land on an answer.

After everything, Keiji found it comforting that Bokuto could still surprise him that way.

“I don’t really want any songs between you and me.”

Feeling a small smile make its way to his lips, he inched forward to press a kiss to Bokuto’s cheek. When he was about to lean back to look at him, he felt Koutaro’s arm around his shoulders hold him in place.

With no other option, Keiji rested his head on Bokuto’s chest, listening to his heart beat faster than it should have. More than ever before, he was dangerously close to falling asleep like this. A bubble of warmth enveloped him, and he felt so distanced from all the problems they were talking about. Right now, he was right next to him, and that’s all he really cared about.

Keiji knew whatever obstacles he would have to overcome, nothing would be more difficult than losing him. 

Laughter bubbled inside him as he recalled his thoughts standing outside Koutaro’s door not even an hour ago. While he was being nervous about intruding, his boyfriend’s mind was lost on an entirely different path.

How could he possibly have been nervous about seeing Koutaro, while he was busy planning how they could live together?

“I don’t either.” He whispered softly, grateful that his face was hidden. However Akaashi couldn’t help but feel sorry for Koutaro, considering he heard the change in his heart beat when he replied. “That will probably have to wait a few years.”

Letting out a puff of air, Bokuto’s hand wound a little tighter in Keiji’s shirt.

“So I’ll have to be patient, huh?”

From where he was, he could feel the vibrations from Bokuto’s voice in his own skin, sending a ticklish sensation all the way down to his toes. At this point, he really was fighting off the urge to close his eyes. 

“I guess so.”

“How many years do you think?”

“Logically, it would be better if..” Trailing off, Akaashi knew that even if it meant travelling 40 mins every morning to college, he really wouldn’t mind if it meant staying with Bokuto. “At least 2, since we have to stay on campus for the first year. Then we could…. get an apartment between the two universities. So it wouldn’t be very difficult for either of us to go.”

“Okay.” Sighed Bokuto. “I’ll wait.”

“Me too.”

“You wanted a cat too, right? We can get one together!”

In his drowsy state, he could only recall the hazy conversation from nearly 2 years ago. One of the first times Bokuto had come to his home to study with him.

It seemed Keiji wasn’t the only one paying close attention.

“Won’t it get lonely when we’re both away?” He mumbled, fingers carelessly brushing over Bokuto’s skin just above the neck of his t-shirt. His skin was so soft, every touch felt like an indulgent hit of an addictive drug.

Never before had he ever wanted to touch someone as much as he did with Koutaro. Partly to remind himself that Koutaro was in fact real . And, mostly so that he could memorise every curve, every bump on his fair skin. 

“Well… then we’ll get one a little later. When I’m on a team, I’ll have more free time.” He said promisingly. “Do you know what you wanna do after college, Keiji?”

Unlike his flimsy plans of highschool, which he had changed on a whim, Akaashi had only ever had one career on his mind. Ever since he had spent his first evening in his neighbour’s miniature library as a child, he knew he wanted to do something related to literature.

At first, he had considered becoming an author. However he quickly dispelled that dream since the majority of his enjoyment did not stem from the actual creative process. He preferred to understand the intent, and he wanted to perfect it. So many pieces were deemed ‘poor’ simply due to brilliant ideas held back by subpar execution.

“I’m gonna try and become an editor for a literature magazine.”

“Oooo.” He hooted, in the same tone as he did when he was trying to pretend to understand what the meaning of a word was. “What do editors do again?”

“They help finalise the stories that are going to be published, essentially.”

“Wow, so you’ll kinda control what comes out right? That’s so cool.”

“I guess so. But, apparently a lot of mangakas don’t submit their work on time. So I might end up working down to the very last minute.”
“Hm, you should just threaten them into submitting stuff on time!”

“You make me sound like a bully.”

“Ya kinda are.”

Gasping, he clutched his chest, looking up towards Koutaro. He was pleasantly surprised to find him looking back down at him, luminous eyes dancing with amusement.

“How dare you? When have I ever threatened you?”

“Hm… You say that you won’t kiss me if I don’t study on time!”

“Yeah well that won’t work on them.” Scoffed Akaashi, poking Bokuto’s chest. “Koutaro-san is the only one I can use that with.”

Letting out a hum, Bokuto laced his fingers with Keiji’s, tugging his arm to the other side and forcing him to lean into him even more. 

“Bokuto-san.”

“Hm?”

“You thought so much about university, but you forgot to think about this year.”

His hand that was playing with Keiji’s fingers immediately froze.

“Wait!”

“The weekends will be so busy, since we’ll both have volleyball practice. How are we going to meet each other?”

Groaning, Bokuto draped his arm over his face, letting out the longest, most goblin-like sound Keiji had ever heard leaving his mouth.

“Er, Bokuto-san… we’ll figure something…. out…”

Drifting off, Keiji realised he may have accidentally dropped the hydrogen bomb of revelations on his boyfriend.

However, when it came to dragging Bokuto out from below a dark cloud of misery, there was no one better suited to the task than him. 

With much effort, he lifted himself up on one elbow and gently pried Koutaro’s arm away. Gently, he tilted Bokuto’s face towards him.

Pouting, Bokuto put his hand on top of Keiji’s, looking at him with eyes that brimmed with tears.

“Kou… Koutaro.” He whispered resolutely, fumbling slightly as Bokuto seemed to get even closer to a breakdown. “We’ll figure it out.”

“Keiji..”

“We’ll figure it out.” He repeated resolutely, brushing the speckled black and platinum hair away from his face. “So, think about everything you can look forward to right now. You don’t have to wait for me. I’ll catch up to you again.”

“Okay.”

“Just take it one step at a time. Just like a match. One point at a time, okay?”
“Okay.”

Laying back down, he tugged at Bokuto until he laid with his head on Keiji’s chest, fingers curled tightly

into his shirt. 

“Before you know it, I’ll be just 15 songs away.” He reminded him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. For some reason, he felt his already exhausted eyes burn once again. “Like you said, Bokuto-san. Worrying means you suffer twice.”

Scoffing, Bokuto held onto him even tighter.

“Let’s not think about all those things that are so far away. Right now, we’re both here. That’s all that matters. We’ll get through it one day at a time.”

For a long while, the only sounds Bokuto made were from his slow and even breathing. He had gotten so quiet, that Keiji debated giving into his tired eyes and falling asleep.

However, just as he was about to, he felt Bokuto shift, gently grabbing Keiji’s hand and kissing it just above the knuckles.

“You always know whata say, don’t you?” He whispered against the back of his hand. “I really am lucky.”

Letting out a breath of relief, Akaashi wrapped his arm around Bokuto even tighter before kissing the top of his head one last time.

“Didn’t we both come to the conclusion that we’re both lucky?”

Chuckling softly, Bokuto nuzzled closer to him.

“I really think if we don’t sleep now, your sisters will never let me come here again.”

Lazily, Koutaro tilted his head up, lightly pressing a kiss to Akaashi’s lips before returning to his original position.

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Bokuto-san”

Chapter Text

“So, Kei-chan, last exam, huh?”

Glancing up from his elaborately prepared breakfast he looked towards his father. 

In an effort to spend more time together, they had started eating meals together when they could. There seemed to be no rule on where, so their meals usually ranged from the kitchen counter to the formal table. Sometimes, around dinner, if they were together, they would sit by the kotatsu. 

Bokuto was yet to visit because of their final exams, and his presence was sorely missed. All those impromptu dinners and sleepovers had left Akaashi worse than a spoiled child. At first, Koutaro had thought he was extremely extroverted, since he seemed to adore conversation. However, Keiji did not take long to realise that was limited to people he thought would listen. It had seemed that only after one practice session alone together, Keiji had weaselled his way onto that list, never to leave. By extension, he had seemed to include Akaashi’s parents as well. There were many times that Keiji and his dad used to be in awe as Koutaro and Akaashi’s mother conversed so quickly neither of them could really keep track. So he could not help but miss that idle chatter when only silence snuffed his ears.

What was he going to do after he left? 

Usually because of practice Akaashi always left extremely early, however his exams meant he left similar to office timings. Any food that Keiji carried was usually prepared the night before, so now his parents were forced to compromise slightly. Both of them were getting up earlier than usual so they would not have to rush the meal. 

His parents had begun taking turns to make breakfast, even dropping him off to school together twice. Sitting in the back seat with his parents in front of him, a strange giddiness bubbled in the pit of his stomach. The same kind he got when Bokuto… well pretty much did anything.

The sensation of watching people care for him was utterly indescribable.

It always seemed to slow everything down around them, making them the only thing in his world that moved. 

In that moment, nothing else mattered.

From something as quick as a passing smile, to seeing the silhouettes of his parents against the morning sunlight coming through the windshield. Bokuto standing in front of him with his arms open, waiting for him to fall into them. His mother smiling as she bid him a good day. His father ruffling his hair as he was passing by him.

All of these summoned that peculiar nervousness that seemed to spread down to the tips of his toes and fingers.

Love truly was a peculiar feeling.

“Yeah…”

“Are you nervous?”

Shrugging, he quickly chewed the remaining rice in his mouth before meeting his dad’s eyes.

Even now, nervousness bubbled in his stomach being so alone with his parents. Of course, they’d been living together his entire life. The nervousness did not really seem to be very warranted. However, openly conversing about how he was feeling was something that used to be so rare, if it happened at all.

Considering how his dad was slowly poking the remaining rice in his bowl with his chopsticks, he might have been just as nervous as him.

“A little bit, but if I’m being honest I’m more worried about Bokuto-san.”

With a sheepish smile, his dad glanced towards his mom, who really couldn’t hold it back anymore it seemed. Bursting into laughter, his mother lightly waved him off. 

Despite the seemingly random confession a few days prior, his mother seemed far more comfortable than either of him. While she had been setting up the table, the air had been thick enough to cut.

Awkwardness had sat heavily between the two of them, and Keiji was grateful for her clearing the air.

For someone with so many people who cared for him, he felt foolish about how unnoticed he once considered himself. And, how long it took him to realise they were there. 

“Of course you are. But you spent the past two years whipping him into shape, he’s gonna be just fine.”

In all honesty, Koutaro had probably been the one to whip him into shape. Day after day, he pulled out effort from him which he didn’t even know he himself was capable of. Or rather, had never felt like he had to bring out before.

With him, however, slacking wasn’t even an option.

“Got any plans after your exam? Kou-chan’s are getting over today too if I’m not wrong?”

“Uhm, yeah… We might end up hanging out afterwards. I’ll let you guys know what time I’ll be home then.”

“Are you guys going on a daaaate?” Cooed his mother with newfound energy. Her eyes which previously were lacklustre from the thought of going to work.

Keiji wondered if he too got the same sparkle in his eye like his mother did when he talked about Bokuto.

“Well… we don’t really have anything planned for today. But, we’ll probably just spend some time together.”

“Why don’t you guys head to Shibuya, there might be a good movie in the theatres right now.” Offered his dad, suddenly finding his bowl extremely interesting as Akaashi weighed his input. “There’s a lot of good stores too if you want to do some shopping.”

“That sounds like a good idea, thanks dad.”

“Let us know if you need some more pocket money, okay?”

“Oh, uhm… I’m okay for now.”

“Hey Kei, how come you’ve never asked us for more?”

“Well, Bokuto-san and I never really have the time outside of practice to do much aside from studying. So most of the money I get every month ends up being unused anyway.”

“Ohhh, I see…” Trailing off, his dad looked pleadingly towards his mom, who seemed just as confused as Akaashi felt. Were the two of them planning something? What was going on? “Well, uhm…”

“Akio, I swear, our son’s not gonna bite you know! You don’t have to be so nervous!”

Sighing heavily, his dad massaged his forehead, and Keiji was left far more perplexed than ever.

“I’m trying my best, Homura…”

“Honestly, I think you were less nervous when you were asking me out.” She chided, and his father turned a dark shade of pink. Keiji couldn’t help but smile as he saw the helpless look on his dad’s face.

Sucking in a deep breath, his dad looked towards him with a primal fear settled within his eyes.

What was going on?

“Keiji-kun, would you and Bokuto-chan like to join us for dinner?” Enunciated his father, slowly, making his mom laugh as Keiji’s heart skipped a beat.

They’d had dinners together before. It was not an uncommon occurrence for the two of them to stay late at each other’s houses, so they had eaten meals with both families together many times.
However, it had never been so purposeful.

While his mother had already made it clear she had been waiting for the two of them to start dating, Keiji did not know how his father felt about it. Too nervous to directly ask him about it, he had never really brought it up, aside from answering any questions that his mom asked. While he had never gotten the feeling that his father might not be entirely supportive, he was apprehensive nonetheless.

Keiji could tell his father was trying to take the initiative, knowing all of these things.

Maybe he was more like his dad than he had previously believed. 

“Oto-san…”

“It’s okay if you don’t want to of course. I know Bokuto-kun is leaving soon, you guys might want to spend this time together. So-”

“We’d love to, oto-san.” He interrupted before his father could begin spiralling any further. “I’ll let Bokuto-san know right now so he can get the go ahead from his family.”

“Are you sure?” He asked softly, his hand gently settling over Akaashi’s wrist. Giving him a small smile, Keiji patted his dad’s hand, hoping to reassure him.
“I’m sure, dad. “We’ll see you tonight.”
 
-

After the two of them gave their last exams, they sat on the same steps they always spent their breaks in. Since most of the students were leaving, the school was somewhat deserted, so Akaashi lay across the top of the staircase, resting his head on Bokuto’s thigh.

It was still quite surprising to Akaashi when he himself initiated idle touches. The Keiji two years ago could never have imagined it. Even though he’d never really had a negative experience, he was extremely selective with his space.

All that definitely seemed to go out the window with Bokuto. 

There wasn’t a time where Akaashi didn't feel like touching him. Even if it was just the brush of a pinkie finger, or having their sides pressed together when they sat beside one another. The physical reminder of him being close by felt like a culmination of a hundred unspoken things. Even though it may not seem like anything at all, the mere thought gave him butterflies. And, a level of contentment he thought was fictional.

Now all that was missing were the pretty sparkles they always showed in Shojou animes, and everything would be perfect. 

Still, there he was, staring up at Koutaro’s animated expressions as he described his exam in vivid detail. Surprisingly out of the two of them, Akaashi was the one who blocked out most of the test. He would only remember snippets once the paper was returned to him. Considering there was nothing he could do after submission, what was there to overthink?

“Koutaro-san?” Asked Akaashi softly, immediately making Bokuto fall silent as he looked down towards him. The early afternoon sun brought out a bright gleam in his golden eyes, making them look more inquisitive than ever. He noticed that Koutaro often tilted his head like a puppy whenever he was asked something. It took everything in his power to resist the urge to squish his face. “Would you like to go on a date?”

Immediately, a grin spread across his face.

After that impromptu sleepover, Keiji felt freed from a weight he had placed upon himself.

That night, he had been so lost in himself, reaching assumptions he might have been a fool for imagining. Like a wave washing away feeble marks on the sand, Koutaro was so nonchalant in wiping the slate clean. 

What were his weak obstructions in the face of the all consuming entity that was Bokuto? Much like the sun, his light swallowed the creeping shadows around Keiji’s mind.

“Right now? Can we go right now?!” He beamed, pushing himself off the wall.

“I mean, we have a lot of time to kill before dinner with my parents.” Replied Akaashi, slowly sitting up before twisting to look at Koutaro. “So… I guess we can go right now.”

For a while, he had thought of the perfect first date with him. There had been many ideas, but he wanted to do something exciting that he knew Bokuto would enjoy.

However, it wouldn’t be a scenario with Koutaro without a touch of impulsive decision making.

“Let’s go right now!” He said excitedly, nearly vibrating with excitement. 

“Okay, but I want a proper one where we dress up and everything.” Keiji reminded him with a poke to the shoulder. “I’ve been thinking about it for a while.”

For a few seconds, Bokuto just looked at him the quizzical way he always did. Before, Keiji might have thought he had said something wrong. Now, he knew that expression was what could be referred to as his ‘thinking face’. 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He whined, and Akaashi bonked him gently on the top of his head. 

“We had exams, we were busy.”

“I dunno why you were worried.” He muttered, pouting like a denied toddler. “We could’ve gone for a small one.”

“I was worried because of you.” Admitted Akaashi. “And obviously I always get nervous, but I was mostly nervous because of you.”

Immediately the pettiness melted away. Turning towards Akaashi, he grabbed his face with both hands and squished his cheeks.

“I wasn’t worried. ‘Cause you helped me. If you help me, I can't fail.”

Feeling his face turn hot, he gently peeled Koutaro’s hands off his face, holding them on his lap. Unable to look him in the eye, he waited for his blush to die down.

“Okay, where’d ya wanna go?” Bokuto asked curiously, leaning sideways to come into his field of vision. There was an amused glint in his eyes as they met Keiji’s, and he knew Bokuto was going to tease him before the words even left his mouth. “I know you’re blushing.”

Turning even redder, Akaashi made a last ditch effort to grab Koutaro’s jacket and throw it over his face. There was an unbearable itch under his skin, which he didn’t know attributed to excitement or nervousness.

“Where do you want to go?” he mumbled, the jacket muffling his voice. Although the flimsy barrier from the jacket wouldn’t last long, it was a welcome decoy. Almost immediately, Koutaro eased the jacket off him, and Akaashi relented. However, instead of removing it, Bokuto stuck his head under it as well.

“I asked first!” He pouted, his cheeks puffing up. “You can’t answer a question with a question.”

Sighing, Akashi leaned towards him and hid his face in Bokuto’s neck. No doubt surprised, it took a second for Koutaro to relax into the touch. Keiji never really did anything so obvious outside of the safety of their rooms, not very public in displaying his affection. Touch was always something that left him exceedingly vulnerable. It was something he chose to do out of his own volition only with a select few individuals. 

Under the jacket, Keiji could have been anywhere. Being in Koutaro’s arms, it didn’t really matter what went about around them. Utterly deaf to everything happening outside of their little bubble, he couldn’t help but wonder if they had an audience. 

“I just don’t want you to get bored.” he admitted, letting Bokuto slip the jacket off both of them. 

Just as Akaashi was about to straighten up, he felt Koutaro’s arms around him tighten, holding him in place. Pressed up against him, he could feel the jump in Bokuto’s heartbeat as he refused to relinquish his hold. It made him a little happier knowing he was not the only one who was nervous.

However, sitting there in his arms, he really couldn’t imagine a better place to be. They didn’t have much time left here, he didn’t care that they were in the middle of a public stairwell. 

Each time Bokuto held him, he remembered one of his favourite parts of Greek mythology. One of the more overlooked gods was Hestia. Often forgotten, she represented everything people seemed to take for granted.

Warmth, comfort, familiarity.

Home.

Although Gods and Demigods could almost be chalked up to imagination, the ideas they were revered for were just as real as the boy who held him. Still, Akaashi should stop and count his blessings, considering how many of those worshipped ideals fit into his boyfriend’s buff body.

“How can I be bored if I’m with you?” He reminded Keiji, rubbing circles onto his back. The touch sent tendrils of electricity arcing down his spine and he involuntarily curled his hands into Bokuto’s shirt. “Just tell me…”

“Koutaro-san, my idea of fun wouldn’t be that exciting for you.”

“That’s crazy!” He said disbelievingly. “I’d be happy, even if I was reading boring books with you!”

Smiling to himself, he nuzzled Bokuto’s neck, letting the older boy hold him a little closer. 

God, how was he so warm?

For some reason, it was easy to understand why cats sought out the sun. Just a simple thing like a hug seemed to chase away the deep rooted soreness in his body that never seemed to leave. If it was possible, he would never voluntarily end this either. 

“Really?” Asked Keiji softly, knowing Koutaro was just trying to appease him. Thinking back to how many times he had said things for the sole purpose of cheering Bokuto up, he decided to play along.

“Yeah! But you gotta read them out to me if you really want me to have fun.”

Hidden away in Bokuto’s arms, his smile grew even wider. The thought of sitting in his embrace and reading aloud was more appealing than it had the right to be. With Koutaro around, he probably would be able to skip the timeless dilemma of finding a comfortable position to read. After all, his arms were the best space he could ever wish for. 

“I’ll do all the voices and everything.” Promised Akaashi, and Koutaro gasped.

Holding him at arm’s length by the shoulders, his eyes sparkled as he looked at Keiji expectantly. Had he been standing, he probably would have gone weak in the knees. In that moment, Koutaro could have asked him for anything and he would have obliged.

“Do your best old man voice! Right now!”

Grinning to himself, Keiji cleared his throat, dramatically looking away from Bokuto. After Akaashi raised his hand, making his palm face Bokuto, he heard him let out a questioning hum. 

“Don’t toss to me, Akaashi!”

Horrified, Koutaro let go of him, crossing his arms petulantly as Keiji tried his hardest not to laugh. Even the spikes in his hair seemed crestfallen as Akaashi patronisingly patted his back. Turning even grumpier, he hunched under the looming black cloud of misery above his head. 

“HEY! I’m not an old man!” 

“Older than me.” He pointed out, and Bokuto only became more miffed, facing away from Keiji now.

“You’re so mean!”

“Come on Bokuto-san, where are all your comebacks?”

“I save them for Kuroo.” He huffed, eyes narrowing as if remembering Kuroo’s blocks from their last match. Involuntarily, the next words that came out of his mouth were practically a growl, making Keiji shiver. “That guy is so frustrating.”

“Well, I can’t be that annoying even if I try really, really hard.”

“Right?! No one can. He’s the most aggravating person I’ve ever met.”

Thinking he was safe, Koutaro relaxed and Keiji couldn’t help but want to mess with him.

“So, Bokuto-san thinks I’m annoying, huh?”

Immediately the aura of celebration melted away to reveal a cloud of doom as Bokuto looked at him with mortification. 

“Wait what?” Asked Koutaro in abject horror. “I never-”

“I see…” He tutted with mock disappointment, resting his chin on his hand. Keiji tried his best to keep a straight face, but he knew Bokuto would be gawking at him like a fish. The best he could do was stop his smile from turning into a psychotic grin.

Panicking, Koutaro held onto his arm, making him sway as he complained. “Keijiiiii, stop playing games with my heart!”

For a few seconds, he let himself be manhandled, keeping an eye out for anyone on both floors. When he couldn’t spot a single soul, he turned and grabbed Koutaro’s hands. Taken aback, he just blinked at him as Keiji pulled him forward and pressed a chaste kiss to his lips. Freezing immediately, all his movement ceased and he did not even breathe when Akaashi was close to him. 

“C’mon Bokuto-san, let’s go.”

Rendered speechless, Koutaro just stared at him. The longer his eyes were trained on Keiji, the more embarrassed he felt. It took no more than a few seconds for his face to be dusted with pink and he could no longer hold his gaze.

Surprisingly, Bokuto didn’t make a single move towards him, instead rising to his feet before offering him a hand. Exposed to new territory, Keiji slipped his bag over his shoulder before taking Koutaro’s hand, unsure of what to be prepared for.

While he had initially thought from the very apparent changes in his body language when he was down, Bokuto might have been easy to read. However he could not have been more wrong. Recently, figuring out what was going on behind those amber eyes was getting harder and harder, simply because there were so many more possibilities. Every time he fell silent, Keiji could not help but be a little nervous as he waited for Bokuto to make a move. 

Apprehensively, Akaashi took a step back, feeling the railing bite into his back. Before he could say anything, Koutaro stepped towards him, bracing his hands on either side of Keiji as he trapped him against the railing.

“Bokuto-san.. wh-”

“Akaashiiiiii, we can’t go anywhere until you kiss me properly.” He pointed out, with a smile which held mischief that Akaashi didn’t know he was capable of. Despite the fact that they had spent quite a few nights entirely wrapped up in each other, he couldn’t stop the butterflies that seemed to wait for Koutaro to touch him. Add in the additional anxiety of being caught, and Keiji was just a bundle of frayed nerves. “Don’t have a lot of school kisses left, y’know.”

Shaking his head to get himself out of his daze, Keiji gently booped the end of Bokuto’s nose, making his eyes close involuntarily. Slowly, he brought his hands up to hold Koutaro’s face, leaning forward just enough for their foreheads to touch.

“How rude of me.” He whispered softly, lightly tracing Koutaro’s lips with his thumb as he felt a giddy smile make its way onto his face.

Wrapping his arms around Bokuto’s neck, he pulled him closer and kissed him properly. Unsurprisingly, the kiss tasted sweet, just like the hydrating sports mix Bokuto always carried a bottle of. Somewhere along the way, Koutaro’s hands had snaked around his waist, holding him in place. Heart skipping a beat, Akaashi felt his face heat up as he was pressed into the railing, completely caged within Bokuto’s arms.

Although terrified of getting in trouble, he hoped the kiss would never end. 

He didn’t have a lot of school kisses left either.

Sooner than he wanted, Bokuto pulled away just enough for Keiji to find his golden eyes studying him intensely. Paired with the pink blush splashed across his face, it was arising thoughts Keiji definitely should not have been having in public.

Koutaro’s tight grip on him was not helping in any regard. Finally, he no longer held Keiji as if he would break apart from the slightest pressure. While he was still wearing his jacket, Bokuto’s hands had pushed it up. All of a sudden, the school shirt felt far too thin a barrier. Suddenly it wasn’t hard to tell that the featherlight touches seemed to be more for the sake of his sanity than anything. While he really wanted to take his time with Bokuto, his resolve seemed to be weakening by the day.

For the first time, Keiji actually felt hot in the winter uniform.

“Akaashi, your waist is so small!” He exclaimed, looking towards him with sincere shock in his wide golden eyes.

Feeling his face grow hot, he simply blinked at him as he tried to gauge his thoughts. Did Bokuto even realise what his words could do? How did he have the ability to say things like that with a straight face?

Before Bokuto could say anything more, Akaashi slapped his hand over his mouth. Judging from his erratic heartbeat, any more words from him might end up giving Keiji permanent damage.

“Bokuto-san, please… don’t say anything more.”

Puzzled, he tilted his head questioningly, not even fighting the poor restraint. 

“If you say anything more, I’m going to end up kissing you again, and we won’t go anywhere.”

No doubt taken aback, he blinked a few times, seemingly ascertaining his situation. Akaashi could almost see the gears turning in his brain.

“If that’s what you want, then we can find a quiet corner and do exactly that.” He continued, not being able to meet his gaze. Despite what was coming out of his mouth, Keiji really did not want to get caught. Although uncommon, he knew the teachers just might be on the lookout for people like the two of them. Getting reprimanded was not on his agenda. “Otherwise, let’s leave and see if we can have a sleepover later, okay?”

As soon as the word ‘sleepover’ left his mouth, Bokuto obediently straightened up, unfortunately moving away from him. Letting his hand slip off Koutaro’s face, he caught his sleeve instead.

However, before he could move, Bokuto leaned forwards, pressing a kiss to the side of Keiji’s head.

“One last one.” He promised, his smiling ear to ear as his hand gently cradled his face. It was such a simple gesture, but for some reason Akaashi’s lungs decided to forget how to work. Every time they touched, he felt his senses being thrown into overdrive. Hyper-aware of every breath he had to remind himself to take, he wondered if the sensation would ever die down. “It’s really hard to see you and not kiss you, Keiji.”

For a moment, he lingered there, his resolve nearly breaking the longer he looked at Koutaro’s glowing face. 

“Tell me about it.” He sighed, rubbing his forehead as he dropped his gaze to the floor. “Let’s not get into this cycle either. No more kisses until tonight, okay?”

“You’re so mean Akaashiiii!” Whined Bokuto, lacing his fingers with his as they began walking down the stairs.

“Koutaro-san’s leaving, but I’ll get in trouble if we get caught.” Keiji reprimanded him. “I’d rather not spend my final year being known as the kid making out with his boyfriend in the stairwell.”

Just thinking of the looming deadline made his body feel like it was laced with icy dread. More often than not, he found himself wishing certain moments with Bokuto could be stretched out into forever. 

After taking so long to consider his feelings, it was a cruel fate for such distance to be shoved between them. Regret filled his heart when he considered he should have come clean about his feelings earlier. However, he couldn’t help but fe-

“Oe, Keiji. The teachers like you, you’re gonna be fine.” Reminded Bokuto, squeezing his hand gently as they walked through the deserted hallway.

Keiji couldn’t help but remember the first time the two of them were alone here. Unlike today, it was much later in the evening, but the halls were just as empty. It was the first time Keiji had stayed so late at school. Not to mention with the very person because of whom he had chosen to come here.

Curiously, he glanced towards Bokuto, who already seemed to have his eyes trained on him.

Since that day two years ago, he had definitely changed more than Keiji. 

Not only was he taller, but had gained far more muscle than him. The first time they had truly met, Keiji had been pretty much the same height, but now he stood about two inches shorter. Not to mention much thinner. Akaashi was in no way skinny, but next to Bokuto he looked like he had been skipping meals for years.

Koutaro’s hair remained pretty much the same, just as expressive as ever. So, no wonder when he caught Keiji staring again, the spiked perked up like the ears of a curious puppy. 

“They already give me looks because of what I did in the hallway!” He groaned, hiding his face in his hand. Knowing they would be clearing out the school now, he didn’t stop and continued to lead them along to the exit. “I don’t want to give them more reasons.”

“Hmm, okay.” Conceded Bokuto. “I don’t wanna get you in trouble ‘cause of me.”

Feeling slightly guilty, Keiji kept his lips sealed, unsure of what to say. Thankfully, Bokuto didn’t seem to want to pursue him for answers either. 

The unwilling vow of silence seemed to continue even as they got onto the train towards Shibuya. 

Many times, the both of them would be late enough that the trains weren’t exceedingly crowded. When they were, Keiji always felt like he had fallen down to Hades’ field of punishment. It was a hellish torture curated just for him.

Simply the thought of being crammed amidst unknown people was absolute torture for his senses. Having strangers pressed up against him left a nauseating sensation coiling through his body. Not to mention the smell. It was the 21st century, one would have thought that people might actually invest in antiperspirant or perfume.

Today was no different. Considering how students now cradled temporary freedom, they had apparently all decided to fill the train cars to the brim. So much so, that even the colours of the walls were hidden by the various jackets shielding people from the frigidity outside.  

As soon as the crowded train had pulled into the platform, he had stiffened to the point where Bokuto had to tap his hand to remind him to unclench. Sucking in a deep breath, he gingerly stepped into the train car, pulling his boyfriend along.

Immediately, the air had taken on a suffocating quality, the temperature spiking enough for sweat to bead on his skin.

What was wrong with him? He had been in crowded trains before, so why-

“Akaashi?”

Blinking, he pulled himself out of his mind to find Bokuto’s familiar face amongst the haze of a hundred people. Lined with concern, his eyes seemed a little startled as he studied Keiji.

“You okay?” he asked, his hand giving him a gentle squeeze as the doors slid shut behind them.

Before he could say anything, Bokuto seemed to survey the crowd, diligently searching for something.

Confused, Keiji felt himself being tugged along as Bokuto nudged his way through the crowd. In the back of his mind, he could hear the announcement echoing over a few hushed whispers as Koutaro wove his way through people. 

Just as he felt the train lurch, Bokuto stopped and pulled Keiji towards him, making him stand against the wall of the car. Glancing around he found that Koutaro had found them a relatively secluded spot near where two train cars met. Although far more rickety, it tended to be less crowded and allowed the ventilation to drive away some of the stuffy-ness.

A pleasant warmth, one rooted in fondness, spread through his body as he met those golden eyes once more. 

“Bokuto-san, you’re making things really difficult for me.” He sighed, restraining himself to just squeeze his hand since he could do nothing more. “How am I supposed to hold myself back when you do things like this?”

“What? I know you don’t like crowded places.” He said simply, blessing Keiji with a glowing smile. Scratching his chin, he seemed to be genuinely concocting a solution. “Remember how you said you’d give me a kiss for every correct answer on that practice test?”

Despite himself, he felt a smile come to his face. “Mhm.” 

“You can keep counting like that if you want.” He offered, pursing his lips as he continued to weigh his options. The way he was standing, he seemed to make sure Keiji was between him and the wall, preventing anyone from getting too close. To keep steady, his hand was braced against the side of the train car, conveniently very close to Keiji. At this point, they might as well just kiss. 

“Koutaro-san, that’s not very convenient.”

“Oh?? Why not?”

With his free hand, Keiji gestured for him to lean closer, waiting until his lips were almost brushing against Bokuto’s ear.

“If Bokuto-san keeps doing things like this, the count is going to end up very high.”

Knowing he’d taken a gamble, the sound of a hundred whispered conversations was drowned out by the sound of his racing heart. 

Where did that confidence come from?

Just like that kiss in the hallway, Keiji almost felt possessed, watching his body do actions he could only dream of.

Every step he seemed to take with Koutaro was unexplored terrain. Because of this, he could no longer predict what was going to happen. Partly because it seemed Koutaro didn’t really know either.

His eyes had taken the same look as they did during especially challenging games. A focused gaze with an intensity that could melt steel. Just like looking at the sun was blinding, he had the urge to tear himself away from Bokuto. However the only difference was, in a game that look was usually aimed at the other team. Right now, the only one that seemed to be a subject to his sight was Akaashi.

“Keiji, I would kiss you all the time if I could, ya know.”

Akaashi should never gamble ever again.

Utterly defeated, he hid his face in his hands, unable to bear the thought of looking up. 

“How can you just say things like that with a straight face?” He mumbled into his hands, and he felt Bokuto try to coax him out. Akaashi didn’t think he would be able to meet his eyes any time soon.

“Hey, you said it first!” Countered Koutaro, unfortunately bringing up a valid point. “I was just… actually I don’t really know what I was tryna do there. I thought it’d be fun.”

Letting out an incomprehensible noise, Keiji refused to put down his mask of shame.

“Can we please talk about something else?”

“Okay, okay, I’m not gonna say anything!” He conceded, and Keiji could hear a smile behind his words. “OH! Did I use aggravate correctly?”

“You did…”

Letting out a hum of contentment, Koutaro shifted to the side, giving him some space. Curious, Keiji peeked out from the cover of his hands to find Bokuto watching him fondly.

Unable to help himself, he felt a foolish smile come onto his face as he hid it again, pressing his side against the unsteady wall of the train car.

That look…

That look made his stomach somersault better than a trained gymnast.

How could he look at him like that?

“Hm, Akaashi… I know you wanted to change the topic but-”

“Noo, not the but.” Groaned Keiji, abandoning his pathetic attempts at hiding. Instead, he slid a little closer to Koutaro again, not leaving the space open for anyone else. “Nothing that comes after a ‘but’ can be considered good.”

Only smiling wider, Bokuto clutched his chest dramatically. Sighing, he scrunched up his shirt in his first as he shut his eyes.  

“-but, you’re so cute.”

Utilising every ounce of his willpower, he held back from hiding his face once again. 

“Bokuto-san, I’m taking away your talking privileges now.” He proclaimed firmly, crossing his arms like a petulant child. “We agreed not to talk about it.”

“Hey, I can’t help it, you’re just s-”

“No. You can’t say it again.”

“Keiji, you’re being unreasonable!”

Narrowing his eyes, Akaashi stuck his tongue out at Bokuto, who seemed to take it as a challenge. Like he was preparing for battle, he straightened up and shook his head slightly. Once he was ready, he blew a raspberry very close to Keiji’s face.

“How rude.” Pointed out Akaashi, wrinkling his nose teasingly. 

“You did it first!” He complained, only for his voice to drop immediately after. Softer than falling snow, his words barely reached Keiji’s ears through the murmurs in the background. “Are ya ever going to get used to me talking like that?”

“Noo…” Groaned Keiji, Maybe.. Not any time soon, though.”

“Okay, so how about I keep saying them, so you get used to it?”

A part of him knew the world still turned around them, and with each passing second the train was approaching their destination. He knew it… and yet could see nothing but Bokuto.

Bokuto with his crookedly done tie, shirt clumsily tucked in, and the strap of his back laying twisted on his shoulder. Before he could process it himself, his hands reached out to fix it, taking his time to straighten out the lapels of his jacket too.

“At this point I feel like Bokuto-san is just trying to flatter me.”

Recognition sparked on his face. Flattery was a word they had revised a few months ago, and Keiji was not lying if he wanted to see if Bokuto remembered the meaning. Over the past two years, Akaashi had learned that his straightforward nature made it so that he never shied away from clearing his doubts. No matter how simple one might consider a word, Bokuto never felt insecure while coming to him, and that was the way he wanted to keep it.

“Flattery’s…good, right?”

Poking his stomach lightly, Keiji was left disappointed when he didn’t even flinch. Was Koutaro not ticklish?

“If it’s from you, then yes.”

“Oh?” Perked up Bokuto, cocking his head to the side. “Why just from me?”

“Because I know you have good intentions.”

“What if I had malignant intentions?” He asked with a grin, wiggling his fingers like a witch from a children’s cartoon. He looked just about as intimidating as one.

“Hmm..”

“Did I not use it properly?” Questioned Bokuto excitedly, eyes sparkling as he looked at Keiji. 

“I think malicious would be a better word.” He offered, and Koutaro tsked, his spikes losing some of their dignity. How were they this expressive? It didn’t seem to have an explanation rooted in physics. 

“Damn it, I really thought I was right.”

Letting out a small chuckle, Akaashi patted his hand, which was still braced against the wall. 

“It wasn’t exactly wrong, just a little awkward.” He said consolingly. “Besides, Koutaro-san, you don’t have a malicious bone in your body.” 

“Hey I can be mean!”

“Is that so?” 

“You should believe in me more!” He huffed, completely ignoring his sarcasm.

Some things Keiji truly hoped would never change.

“I believe you can do anything you set your mind to.”

Losing all his humour for a moment, Bokuto trained his eyes onto Keiji as soon as the words left his mouth.

“Is that you flattering me, or what you really think?”

Before he even got the opportunity to think, his mouth spoke for him.

“What I really think.” He blurted out, and Koutaro burst into laughter, earning a few looks from the people around them.

Curiously, everyone in the Fukurodani uniform did not even bat an eye. Maybe the story of their hallway kiss had worked a little better than he had thought of. Not to mention, it was incredibly difficult to find a student in their school who did not know Bokuto. Being the star, and the captain, of their volleyball team, he was well known.

And surprisingly popular.

At first Keiji couldn’t process how the rest of the students perceived him, since the majority of their time spent together was on the court. The better observations came when they began eating lunch together not soon after becoming friends.

They would pass by countless students who would throw off hand questions or remarks and Bokuto would always oblige them.

However, that popularity seemed mostly superficial. Akaashi quickly caught onto the fact that while everyone was mostly on good terms with him, Koutaro did not have many close friendships. Aside from Kuroo, and now Daichi Sawamura, Tsukishima Kei, and Hinata Shoyo (and of course Keiji) Bokuto did not talk to a lot of people regularly.

While he never had a bad word for anyone, no one really seemed to give him the opportunity for anything beyond that. It seemed the common theme for everyone was Bokuto being ‘too much to handle’.

Why was it that Keiji seemed to be the only one who couldn’t get enough?

“If you being straight with me is like this, what’s your flattery like?” Asked Bokuto with a tilt of his head, watching him like a hawk.

“Bokuto-san doesn’t need my flattery.” He countered. “Because you’re amazing. Even if I’m being honest you’re going to think I’m trying to flatter you.”

Amusingly, Koutaro’s face grew pink as he registered Akaashi’s words.

Keiji loved these moments. When he said something which caught Bokuto off guard, he could see him formulating thoughts behind those wide eyes. It was more often than not that he was on the receiving end of such words, so despite his own heart racing, he wanted to share the sensation. Even after two years, Bokuto was like a complicated book he had read too early in life. While he might have understood some of the words, so many things would go over his head. Each time he would read it again, Akaashi would understand something a little better than he did before.

For many, it would seem like too much time wasted, reading it over and over again, but Keiji lived for the familiar surprises. 

Unfortunately, the announcement of their station cut the conversation short. Once again, with many things left unsaid on his lips, he just followed Bokuto along. Scurrying out of the train, the two of them made their way onto the busy streets of Shibuya.

As always, it was crowded with both tourists and locals alike. Although many people tried to avoid it because of so many foreigners wandering about, it happened to be the epicentre for too many things. Keiji never got much of a chance to come here aside from the occasional drive with his parents. Considering it was still relatively early during the day, the glaring neon signs lay dormant, waiting for their time to shine. Even in their absence, the buildings reflected the sunlight in angles that made them wink playfully in his eyes. 

On his side, Bokuto pursed his lips as they walked. seemingly searching for something. However, as nonchalant his relaxed posture was, his eyes danced with a joy Keiji had not seen in a while. After all, he had just been released from the shackles of an educational prison. He deserved to let off some steam. 

“So, what would you like to do?” He asked in a soft voice, feeling as if he was disturbing a sort of fragile peace that came from Bokuto’s rare silences. 

“Y’know one of those stores where they sell new manga, and books n stuff, let’s go there?”

Giving a nod of acknowledgement, Keiji matched his pace as they wandered through the crowded sidewalks, finding it more and more difficult to stay by his side as people kept going by. When they reached a relatively open turn, he took the opportunity to grab the sleeve of his jacket.

Caught by surprise, Bokuto snapped his head to the side as soon as his fingers had tightened.

“It’ll be easier for us to walk together this way.” He muttered, suddenly feeling shy as Koutaro slapped his other hand onto his own face, turning away from Keiji. “Kou-”

“How’re you so cuuuute...” Groaned Bokuto, refusing to move from the spot as Keiji felt a blush spread across his face. Although most of his face was hidden, he could see the tips of Koutaro’s ears turning pink. “Can I hold your hand?”

Suddenly he felt exceedingly aware that there were more than a handful of strangers who gave them passing glances. Despite what he wanted, they had to get out of that situation as fast as possible. Without saying anything, Akaashi grabbed his hand and began pulling him along.

Throwing his arm over his shoulder, or draping himself over Keiji, it was all normal for Bokuto. In fact, it seemed like he probably didn’t even think twice about it. The only time Akaashi had seen that hesitation on his face was the first month after they met. After that, it was only after they had confessed to each other that Koutaro had shown that hesitation again. However, it was exceedingly rare for Keiji to take any initiative in terms of idle touch. Evidently, Bokuto was definitely not used to it. 

“Come on, I think I see one of those stores.” He said abruptly, changing the subject before either of them strayed from their mission. As much as Keiji would love to stand and appreciate how beautiful Koutaro’s fair face looked when he blushed, the middle of a crowded sidewalk was NOT the place for it. Besides, that was a sight for him, and him alone.

Unlike many of the stores Keiji frequented near his house and the school, this was far more centrally located. Not to mention the sliding glass doors with the motion sensors. In his mind, buying books meant the little creak of the door, squeezing into tight spaces between shelves, and often books that were a little worn out. Although he had more than enough pocket money, he was extremely frugal, and opted to buy second hand books quite often. It was because of this, Keiji could not decide whether he loved the smell of a new, unopened book more than an aged volume with yellowing pages.

The bustle of the crowd died down significantly as they stepped into the store. There seemed to be an unspoken rule of staying silent in a bookstore that everyone seemed to follow. Subconsciously picking up on it, Bokuto compliantly handed his bag after removing his wallet to Keiji without saying a word. After he took out his own wallet, Keiji submitted both bags to security and the two of them crept into the endless shelves of books.

Neatly placed within the shelves, the pages of the books seemed to remove any remaining sound, casting a spell of silence around the two of them. Unable to help himself, Keiji ran his hands along the spines as they slowly walked past them. This was the non-fiction section, so he had no desire to pull any book out to start reading. Non-fiction was one of the genres which Keiji liked the least. All the wonder and excitement that barely seemed contained in the pages of the other novels was all but missing in non-fiction books. The only time he opened anything belonging to that genre was for mandatory school reading.

“Say, ‘Kaashi.”

“Hm?”

“Why do you stare at me so often? You’ve been doing it since you met me, but it’s gotten a lot more recently.”

Stopping dead in his tracks, Akaashi let his hand fall a little to hold the shelf on which the books rested as he turned towards Bokuto. Of course he knew the watching had not gone unnoticed, but he was never prepared for him to bring things up so abruptly. 

Koutaro didn’t exactly enjoy novels, so it seemed the books’ spell seemed to have been a little lost on him.

Even though he knew he shouldn’t, Akaashi spent a lot of time wondering whether Koutaro would grow tired of him. When it came to common interests, they may not have had the biggest reservoir to syphon off from. Bokuto who was always one step ahead, leading the way. What if he forgot to look behind to see if Keiji was there? Especially now since he was leaving, what if Koutaro’s infatuation with him was simply borne from convenience? Unlike in their school, setters in the professional setting would probably trip over their own feet to play with him. Who was he in front of that?

“I just wonder what the world looks like from your eyes, sometimes.” He whispered, lightly picking at the slightly chipped wood of the bookshelf. Nearly landing a splinter, he curled his fingers into a fist, hoping his brain would grow silent for once. “I feel like Koutaro-san’s eyes would make everything look different.”

Walking up to him, Koutaro stood next to where Keiji’s hand rested on the shelf, leaning down to look into his eyes. Although in that split second, he was doing nothing but watching him, Akaashi always felt an overwhelming wave of emotions each time their eyes met when they were alone. He always felt as if Bokuto’s eyes were filled with thoughts he didn’t always voice, making him itch with curiosity the longer he looked.

“Then why don’t you just ask?” Challenged Bokuto with a soft smile that did not match his tone in the slightest. “I’ll tell you, you know.”

“Alright… What does the world look like from your eyes.. Bokuto-san?” He asked with a smile of his own. It was in these moments that he was reminded that Koutaro really was an infectious person. Even the slightest joy he felt seemed to transmit to him in the blink of an eye. 

Suddenly the grey fog from his thoughts seemed to recede, leaving way for his light.

After watching Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso, Akaashi had found himself relating to the main character more than he cared to admit. Although the world was not without colour, Bokuto seemed to bring a completely different lens in front of his eyes. While he had gone through life looking at the world the way he always had, suddenly it seemed like there were hundreds of colours he had never noticed before.

Did it always look that way for Bokuto? Or was it even brighter? More colourful? What could he see that Keiji could never hope or dare to imagine?

“Was that so hard?”

“Incredibly.” He scoffed, biting back the nervous laugh that threatened to slip out.

“It’s okay! It’ll get easier the more you ask!” Koutaro reassured him, his smile only growing wider. “Now, ‘cause you asked, my world… It looks a lot like you.”

Touché.

For a moment, his heart stopped in his chest. Freezing in place, Keiji drew in a breath as he fought the urge to turn away from those eyes of his. There was a different kind of intimidation that exuded from him in these moments. It was because of him that Akaashi could never understand why so many people confused vulnerability with weakness. In a lot of ways, Koutaro was so wonderfully fearless. 

Once again, without even pointing it out, Bokuto seemed to dismiss his delusions with nothing but a few words. 

“What… what do you mean?”

“‘Cause when I’m with you, I don’t really want to look at anything else. And when I’m not with you, I think about you A LOT.”

Keiji had thought a lot about those three words that seemed to bounce around whenever a relationship was considered. It had been two years since they met, but they had only really been together for about 2 months now. Did everything he felt in those two years of watching count? Was it wrong to say those words? Would he ever know when it was the right time?

Koutaro’s words had been like a pebble thrown into an impossibly calm lake, sending ripples racing across the surface. He had taken the first step, and thrown the ball in his court. Now, it seemed, he was waiting for Keiji to make a move.

“Is that flattery-” he asked softly, his voice barely reaching Koutaro. “-or what you really think, Bokuto-san?”

Those golden eyes seemed to harden into amber as he seemed to formulate a reply.

“What does your world look like, Akaashi?” He asked playfully, the intensity of his eyes heavily contrasting with the light lilt of his words. Answering his question with a deflection. It seemed the lack of an answer was the reply he intended. Of course it wasn’t flattery. Koutaro never really wasted any time on flattery, so it didn’t seem like he was about to start now.

Maybe, right now, Keiji wasn’t exactly ready for those three words. Instead, he decided to settle for the truth. 

“My world’s always been you.” Whispered Akaashi, a little surer this time. “There’s always a lot of things in my mind, but whatever it is, I know you’ll always be there too.”

Swiftly, he cast his gaze on either side of the little hall of shelves, seeing if there was anyone around before pressing a kiss to Bokuto’s cheek. 

Those words felt like the barest scratch on the surface of everything he wanted to say to Koutaro. Even a lifetime would fall short of the time he would need to tell him everything, so he had no choice but to make his peace with this.

Grinning from ear to ear, Bokuto threw his arm around Keiji’s shoulder, peppering the top of his head with kisses. Playfully, Akaashi tried to pull away, praying nobody walked into the same lane as them. Only, he wasn’t really putting much force into it. And by much force, he meant none at all.

Hopefully we don’t get kicked out.

“Damn right, I’m gonna be there!” He declared proudly, wrapping him in a bone crushing hug. Like a fish caught on a hook, a laugh lay dangerously. lose to bubbling out of Keiji. “I’m gonna annoy you for a lifetime!” 

“In that case I’d rather die right now.” Exhaled Akaashi dramatically, lips moving before he could think about it.

Wait what?

Shocked by his own words, he instinctively snapped his head towards Koutaro. Needless to say, the tension in his body melted away as he saw Bokuto frowning like a petty toddler. Akaashi absolutely adored the little fat that never seemed to leave his face, making his cheeks chubby and perfect for squishing whenever he threw a tantrum. 

“Hey! What happened to me being your world and stuff?” He murmured through narrowed eyes and pouty lips. 

“I take it back. Aren’t you the one who said you don’t want me to always be nice to you?” Akaashi asked simply, giving Bokuto a sweet smile that just seemed to annoy him more. 

“No take-backsies.”

Sighing, Keiji admitted defeat, giving into the cage of Bokuto’s broad arms around him. He hadn’t even realised how cold he was until Koutaro held him. Indescribable warmth seemed to seep out from the very fibre of his being, heating Keiji down to the bones.

For once, Akaashi hoped the cold would take its sweet time to relinquish its hold on the city. Instead of autumn, it seemed winter was starting to become his favourite season.

“The irrefutable law of the playground.. You really got me there.”

With a chuckle, Bokuto ruffled his hair and Akaashi was surprised to find he didn’t really mind it. 

“You’re stuck with me whether you like it or not, Akaashi Keiji.”

Surrendering to his hold entirely, Keiji melted into his arms as let out a self satisfied hum. Inside the store, there was no biting wind that crept in through the folds of his clothes. And yet, his body still seemed colder than Bokuto’s, who wasn’t even wearing a sweater under the school jacket.

Just as he was settled into the hug, Koutaro pulled away, leaving the cold air to take his place in Keiji’s arms. About to protest, the words died in his throat as Bokuto grabbed his hand instead.

“Now c’mon let’s keep looking! This place is boring, even you don’t like these books.”

As the two of them left the non-fiction section, Keiji saw some familiar authors and titles on the shelves of the fiction section. Although he owned many of the books that were on sale, he couldn’t help but stop and go towards them anyway. With a will of their own, the words seemed to come forth and put him under a trance whenever he came close to them. Re-reading was one of his guilty pleasures, one he knew he would never deny himself.

Instead of pulling him along, Bokuto matched his steps and stopped along with him.

“You… you know about the books I like?”

With a smug smile, Koutaro shrugged nonchalantly, but his eyes could not veil the glimmering excitement behind them. Akaashi seemed to forget that he wasn’t the only one who was watching. Two years ago, if someone had told him he would be having this conversation with Koutaro, he would have dismissed them almost immediately. With eyes that did little else aside from carving a path forward, he could never have presumed to have been a part of that future.

“You like fantasy and romance, not that real world stuff. This is like reading for school. Even if I liked reading a lot, I would never read that.” He shuddered, as if imagining the absolute torture it would be. “But, you don’t borrow the weekly shonen jump a lot, you only read One Piece. Even though I keep telling you about other things too!”

Talk about being called out.

Considering one of Keiji’s favourite characters was Zoro, he might have been seeing a pattern in the ‘hot beefy boy’ department recently. The only difference was the two of them were nothing alike.

“I love Nico Robin.”

“And Zoro.” Pointed out Bokuto. “You look at him the same way you look at onigiri.”

“He quite literally has an attack named Onigiri, am I not supposed to like him?” He asked, utterly flabbergasted. “Besides… Luffy reminds me of you sometimes.”

“Me?!”

“You’re both very silly.”

“Silly?!” Gasped Bokuto, drawing the attention of nearly everyone in the non fiction section. The reaction was so unwarranted. Akaashi nearly thought he had accidentally insulted his ancestors.

“I’ve never seen you use that word!”

“I think it’s perfect for both of you.” He continued, fighting the urge to pull one of his favourites from the shelf. Anything to avoid direct eye contact while giving him a compliment. Keiji had gotten used to receiving compliments from him, especially after how it seemed to boost his performance on the court. Giving them however… that had always been a tricky situation. While it always seemed to help out a little bit, overconfidence could crush him just as easily. Akaashi had gotten quite good at giving compliments without actually making eye contact. It was a skill that could flourish in the flurry of volleyball. Not when he was the only one next to Koutaro. 

“You seem really silly all the time, like receiving with your chest and praising yourself afterwards-”

“Hey! It was an awesome move!”

“-but you’re pretty smart too. You realised you couldn’t pick it with your hands so you chose to do that. A lot of people just see you being funny, but don’t see the consideration behind it.”

Eyes sparkling, Koutaro gawked at him wordlessly. Keiji was fairly certain no one had ever referred to Bokuto as smart yet. The dismissive notion that studious was equivalent to smart was far too damaging an ideal. Never before had Akaashi met someone as inclined to learning as Koutaro. With every breath he seemed to take, it seemed to be finding a way to improve himself. That wasn’t exactly something that could be measured through calculus. 

“I would be an awesome protagonist.” Sighed Bokuto, crossing his arms. “I’m so cool.”

“So true.”

“You don’t sound very convinced.”

“You’re one of the protagonists of my world, if that makes you still any better.”

For a moment, the two of them just started at each other, blankly blinking without a single thought. Or in Keiji’s case, far too many running through his mind. Where had that come from? He truly hoped they had not been overheard.

However, Akaashi was met with the most gratifying sight, leaving him unable to be wary of other people around them. It was the first time he saw his words truly sinking into Bokuto’s mind. Slowly, he saw the blush creep onto his face. As if holding back tears, his eyebrows furrowed and he frowned. Only, Keiji knew he wasn’t truly upset since the spikes of his hair still stood up tall.

Keiji knew he wasn’t very verbal. He wasn’t even very touchy. Over all, he often felt he was constantly lacking in terms of showing affection in any form. It was only times like these that left sweet relief in his body.

“Akaashi, you…” Trailing off, Bokuto just stared at him incredulously. His face seemed practically unreadable because of all the expressions it seemed to be sifting through. 

“Oya, did I actually take the words away from Bokuto-san?” He asked playfully, hoping Koutaro was not about to burst into tears. The only other time Keiji had seen him so quiet was after a match. Win or lose, he seemed to enter a state of introspective reflection. It always felt like a crime to disturb him, so Keiji would take that time out for himself too. “Would you like to check out the manga? I’m pretty sure the new volume of My Hero Academia is out now.”

Snapping out of his trance, Bokuto lightly shook his head, glancing towards the shelf to which Akaashi was closest. 

“You don’t wanna buy any books?”

“I’m kinda running out of space.” He admitted sheepishly. “Besides, I only like to buy books after I’ve read them.”

“What?!” Exclaimed Bokuto, gaping at him as if he had just confessed to murder. “Why?”

“Well, I don’t have a lot of space, so I don’t want to accidentally end up buying a book I don’t love.”

Contemplating for a moment, Bokuto held his chin, pursing his lips as if he was evaluating him. 

“That makes a lot of sense.” He said slowly, taking his time to consider all the possibilities. “It’s like not buying food you haven’t eaten yet. ‘Cause what are you gonna do if you don’t like it?”

“Right?” He agreed, a fond smile finding its way onto his lips. “ I haven’t gotten the time recently to read many new things, so I don’t have novels to buy.”

Accepting his answer, Bokuto seemed to recede into his mind for a moment, leaving a grave silence in his place. Thankfully it didn’t last more than a few seconds before lightly shook his head and returned to himself.

“Let’s go check out the manga then!”

Despite all the people around them, Keiji slipped his hand into Bokuto’s as he began walking. Instantaneously he could see the grin on his face. A while ago, Keiji could not fully understand how profoundly even the smallest action by him could affect someone. Until Bokuto came along, and suddenly the effect of his words and actions became exceedingly visual. Even with the very breath he drew, Koutaro seemed to breathe life into the very air around him. Just the smallest brush of Keiji’s hand against his skin made him glow like the spring sun. Warm, just enough to chase away the cold, but never enough to hurt. 

Akaashi didn’t know how long they spent pondering over manga, but somehow Bokuto convinced him to buy a volume of Moriarty the Patriot, while he himself walked out with an omnibus of One Piece. It took quite a while for him to convince Koutaro to settle on a single volume, since he couldn’t make up his mind between three separate mangas. While he did not mind casually reading some of the things Bokuto did, Keiji thought it would be highly unlikely he would ever consider buying My Hero Academia. Not while his Tokyo Ghoul collection was still unfinished.

While they were standing at the cashier, the display of bookmarks caught Koutaro’s eye. Like a moth drawn to a flame, he flitted over to it in the blink of an eye, swiping one off before coming back to Keiji.

“Do you like this one?”

Glancing down, he saw the one Koutaro had picked had a pattern with Squirtle wearing sunglasses dancing across it. Gingerly, he took it from his hand, biting back a smile as he took a few seconds to admire it.

“Bokuto-san, you don’t have to get me another one...”

“But you read a lot more than me, bookmarks are helpful right? I haven’t even seen you use any of the ones I got you though!”

Caught red handed, Keiji rubbed the back of his neck as he looked away from Koutaro.

Akaashi couldn’t pinpoint when it started, but at some point in his first year, Bokuto had begun getting him random bookmarks out of nowhere. While there was no predictable timing to it, odds were if he had gone anywhere with his family, Keiji would receive a bookmark not soon after. Now, Keiji had quite a collection stored away in a folder in the top drawer of his desk. Even after acquiring this impressive hoard, he still used the randomest slips as bookmarks. A bill from the grocery store, a ‘post it’ with glue that had given up many years ago, a scrap from a project.

It was still impressive that Koutaro had noticed. Nothing seemed to miss those eyes of his.

“Well.. I actually don’t use them.” He began sheepishly, feeling exceedingly guilty as the words left his mouth.

Immediately, the spikes on his head deemed it the perfect opportunity to give up, giving Koutaro’s crestfallen look the punch it needed to hurt Keiji.

“What..” He trailed off softly, making Akaashi wish he had been loud instead. “Why not?”

“Since Koutaro-san gave them to me, I don’t want to spoil them…”

As soon as he had fallen into a mood, the dark cloud seemed to dissipate as the words reached his ears. 

“Keiji… you can use them, I’ll keep giving you more!”

Smiling, Keiji handed the bookmark back to him, feeling his heart skip a beat as Bokuto stared resolutely at the cashier’s desk.

“I’ll keep those safe too, Koutaro-san.”

“They’re just bookmarks I-”

“I don’t think it’s right for you to say that.” He interrupted. “They’re not just bookmarks. They’re gifts. Gifts from you, they’re meant to be cherished.”

Falling silent, Koutaro didn’t say anything. Even as the cashier rang up their items, he silently paid for the bookmark and was about to pay for Keiji’s too. Immediately, Akaashi snatched his volume back, asking for it to be billed separately, much to his disappointment.

Guess Keiji still had plenty to learn in the receiving department.

“I really don’t know how you read Tokyo Ghoul.” Shuddered Bokuto as they collected their bags to leave. Immediately the cold wind began to bite at him, sending goosebumps crawling over his skin. Reflexively stopping, Keiji sucked in a breath as they stood in the doorway of the store. No doubt noticing the abrupt halt. Bokuto leaned into his view, head tilted curiously. “Keiji, are ya feeling cold?”

“Unfortunately.” He admitted through gritted teeth.

Tsking, Koutaro lightly shook his head, moving the small bag with the manga to his other hand, and taking Keiji’s too. Before he could protest, he grabbed his hand, lacing their fingers together tightly.

“Hey, if it was summer, we would probably sweat too much to hold hands.” He pointed out, tugging him along as they made their way away from the shop. Almost as soon as they stepped out, the crowd seemed to swallow them up. Swept up in a tide of people, Keiji would have thought it easier to go with the flow instead of fighting it. However, he seemed to have forgotten who he was with.

With a mix of overly enthusiastic ‘excuse me’s and a lot of accidental elbows, Bokuto entirely ignored the bustle of the crowd. As if sensing they were up against a force that would not back down, the people seemed to leave a path for them, mostly for the sake of protecting themselves.

“I would still hold your hand Bokuto-san. Even in the summer.”

“Hmm, how about something like…”
Leaving his hand for a moment, Bokuto intertwined his index finger with Keiji’s pinky. 

“Something like that?”

Returning their hands to the way they were, Keiji pulled him to the sidelines where it would be far easier to walk. 

“That might work for the summer, but don’t leave my hand right now.” He pleaded, grateful for the warmth seeping in through Koutaro’s palm.

“Don’t you have a scarf? Why didn’t you wear it?”

“It’s been relatively warm recently, I didn’t think I needed it. It usually isn’t this windy.” Sighed Akaashi, and Koutaro’s grip on him tightened.

“I’ll keep you warm then!”

Around them, a few more people turned to look, and Keiji felt the sudden urge to laugh out of sheer awkwardness. Bokuto did not read as much as him, he probably didn’t know the euphemism behind that phrase. While he knew the intention behind it, anyone listening in out of context definitely would not.

Walking along, Keiji could not help but notice how much more cheerful Koutaro seemed after the bookstore. It took him a moment to realise he had missed the carefree Bokuto that had been absent the past few weeks. It had been difficult to find a moment where his face had not been contorted into a stressed out mask. Keiji knew, for the sake of his family, Bokuto really tried for his exams this time, since they wanted him to go to college. Even though Keiji did point out that it was extremely likely he would get a sports scholarship wherever he went, he was still determined to try his best. While he enjoyed studying, it really didn’t seem to bring out the best in Koutaro. However, exams were not fun for him either. Wasn’t there any other way to judge students besides that hellish method?

He had heard of other curriculums tha-

Wait. 

“Bokuto-san, where are we going?”

Confused, he faltered a little as he turned back to give Keiji a weird look. 

“To get something to eat! You’re usually so hungry around this time, what happened?”

Was he really usually hungry at this time? Checking his watch, Keiji realised it was the same time as their school lunch. Unfortunately, it seemed that Bokuto was right about this as well, since Akaashi always inhaled his own food before Koutaro even got halfway through. Why wasn’t he hungry right now?

Considering the lack of volleyball practice, he wasn’t getting his usual strenuous exercise. However, the exams were more than enough to compensate. Despite his dismissal of other people’s concerns, he was far more nervous than he let on. That bundle of nerves struck him like a lethal bullet each time he settled into the seat to write his paper, and never before. At that time it was already too late to do anything, and there was no one to comfort him either. 

Being with Koutaro was not the brutal kind of nervousness. Instead, his heart seemed to be ready to sprint in a split second, amplifying his heartbeat with every small move Koutaro made. Although he had never been skydiving or bungee jumping, he could very much imagine how it would feel since his body decided to imitate the experience far too often.

“If I’m being entirely honest, I don’t know either.” He answered vaguely, very much aware of the reason.

“You’re not nervous right? ‘Cause sometimes you get nervous before matches and you can’t eat.” 

Nervous? 

How could he possibly be nervous?

Of course he wasn’t nervous about being on the first date of his entire life. He would possibly be less nervous about committing first degree murder. 

“I don’t think I can have anything heavy, can we get some taiyaki?”

Thankfully, the popular snack wasn’t difficult to find. After just a few minutes of walking, there was an alley lined with street vendors. The perks of being in a tourist heavy region, it was full of local delicacies they always wanted to convince foreigners to try. Selling everything from mochi, to skewers and rice balls. With the scent of a thousand delicacies gracing his nostrils, his stomach began growling ravenously. Enough for Bokuto to hear and give him a hearty laugh.

“If-Since you found that so funny, why don’t you feed me Bokuto-san?” He asked with feigned cockiness, pushing himself to avoid shying away from him. Koutaro loved giving, whether it was a reassuring hug, or unprompted gifts. Possibly the best he could do for him was let himself receive everything he wanted to give. 

“Really??” Gasped Bokuto, eyes sparkling excitedly. “You better eat a lot!”

Well maybe not everything. 

“Alright.” He agreed with a smile, immediately taking him towards the onigiri stand.

“Uhm, excuse me, could we get tw-”

“Three.” Interrupted Bokuto, giving him a grin.

“Three Tuna Onigiri please.”

Once he took the first bite, he realised he was far hungrier than he thought, and was grateful for the second one. Before he knew it, they had made their way across three stands, and had just reached the fourth. His stomach begged for mercy, but it seemed to land on deaf ears. Keiji couldn’t really complain, since the chicken skewers on the last stall had a wonderfully hot drizzle that had the added benefit of spice. With each bite, he grew warmer from the inside. He nearly caved when Koutaro asked if he wanted a second serving. 

A few stalls later, with a cup of steaming hot chocolate in his hand Keiji enjoyed the mosaic of flavours dancing around his tongue.

“Bokuto-san be careful it’s r-”

His warning, it seemed, came a little too late as Koutaro took a sip only to find his tongue thoroughly singed.

“-really hot..”

 Like a blowfish, he puffed up his cheeks, exposing the tip of his tongue to the cold air.

Not even trying to hide his smile, Akaashi took the cup from his hand. Gently blowing on it, he waited until Bokuto stopped panting to scold him. 

“Why do you keep testing fate?”

“I thought it wasn’t gonna be that hot!” 

“Because only cold things let out this much steam. Seems like a valid conclusion.” 

“You’re such a bully.”

Pleasantly, Keiji continued to blow on Bokuto’s cup, taking his time to reply.

“A bully with self preservation.” He pointed out. “I’ll give this back when it’s not boiling.”

Dejected, Koutaro began trailing behind him like a duckling as Akaashi walked out of the side street. Back on another main street, Keiji recognised many famous brands through their vibrant logos. From where he stood, he couldn’t exactly make out what was written, but the logos were familiar enough.

Relatively silent, Bokuto didn’t say anything at all as they slowly walked on the side. 

Was he in pain? Did he drink more of the scalding drink than he let on? Was he having fun?

Did I spend a little too much on the food?

Why was he so quiet?

Dread seemed to spread out from his chest the longer Bokuto was silent. Maybe his thoughts would no longer wander if he saw his face. Should he turn to see?  

Just as Akaashi had made up his mind, he heard Bokuto gasp. Nearly dropping both glasses, he spun to find he had flitted towards a small florist. The store seemed so out of place between all these modern stores. With its aged decoration, it seemed to be going for an untouched natural aura that seemed so wrong on that street. It looked right out of an old movie.  

Almost pressed up against the glass, he seemed to be admiring the delicate flowers on display. Before Akaashi had the chance to open his mouth, he 

spun around with glittering excitement. 

“Keiji! What’s your favourite flower?” He asked earnestly, practically vibrating with excitement.

Akaashi almost felt bad about his reply. 

“You.”

“Hey! don’t distract me!” He pouted, face slowly turning pink as he turned back toward the display. While it was beautiful, it didn’t catch Akaashi’s eye. Anyone else might have been enthralled by their exceedingly fleeting beauty, but all Keiji could think of was how they would look after they wilted. “C’mon tell me your favourites!”

While he was not the biggest fan of flowers, he didn’t want to leave Bokuto without an answer.

“Sunflowers.”

Actively searching, his determined gaze seemed to scan the whole shop in a fraction of a second. Well, next to him, even the most beautiful flowers ought to look dull and lifeless. There was a life in him that nothing could hope to mimic.

Why sunflowers?

“Oh.. they don’t have those…” He pointed out, the spikes in his hair slightly slipping from their positions. “Do you uhh..”

“Here.” He said simply, handing Koutaro his hot chocolate as he looked at him quizzically. “Why don’t I take you to see my favourite flowers?”

As if mimicking the very flower they were talking about, his excitement seemed to make him bloom like a fresh bud in spring. The way his hair unfurled really didn’t seem to be helping his case.

In the back of his mind, he couldn’t help but feel the two of them together shared the characteristics of a sunflower. Bright, bold, and beautiful. Bokuto was the only one he could think of. Unapologetically following its own rhythm, sunflowers stood out to him the most. Just like he did.

Another characteristic that made them stand out was them having eyes only for the sun. Following it, tracing its path across the sky each and every day. Many flowers lived unaffected, their plants subconsciously growing towards the light. Sunflowers were the only ones actively seeking its light to a point where it was exceedingly noticeable.

Guess that sounded a bit like him. 

Offering his arm, he did not have to wait even a second before Koutaro wrapped his hand around Keiji’s bicep. While they began walking again, Akaashi tried not to think about how his hand seemed to nearly wrap around his entire arm.

A few minutes ago, he had seen the bright red sign a little further along the road. Following the road, they walked until the store came into view. By the time they stood in front, both their glasses were empty, with Koutaro’s breath smoking in front of him like a dragon.

“Lego? You like Lego?” 

“They’re the only flowers that don’t wilt.” He shrugged, taking Koutaro’s glass from his hand before throwing them in the nearby trash can. “I want to give you flowers, but not ones that die in a week.”

Bokuto’s face seemed to take a peculiar expression. It was the kind of face you would make at your pet when they did something extremely and unexpectedly adorable.

“But I guess people like flowers more ‘cause they die quickly right?”

“Do you mean they appreciate it more?” He asked, hopefully getting the gist of what he was trying to say. “Because their lives are short, they are more precious in a way?”

Snapping his fingers, he gave Keiji a small whistle followed by a grin.

Keiji could probably spend his entire life deciphering his sentences if it made him smile like that again.

“Exactly.”

“I find it weird that to promise love, people give something so fragile and fleeting. Shouldn’t that promise be for a lifetime? Why give something that won’t even make it to the end of the week?” He scoffed, not registering the words that left his mouth until he turned to find Bokuto with a peculiar expression on his face.

What did I say..? Weird.. Promise..?

Love..?

Mentally smacking himself on the forehead, Keiji tried his hardest not to cringe.

Clearing his throat, Akaashi took his hand and dragged him inside the shop. The massive shop was exceedingly organised, with a section where people could make customised keychains, and mostly it was divided by themes. Every time he had come here before, it was the rare times where his dad used to buy a set. Despite it mostly being for him, he would always ask Keiji to pick it out, and they would either build it together, or his dad would let him take it apart as many times as he would like.

“I’ve never seen Lego in your room, why didn’t you tell me you liked it?”

Grateful that Bokuto seemed to have agreed to the implied message of moving on from that disaster of a thought Keiji had voiced, he answered a little too quickly.

“Well, my dad likes them too, so we keep the sets in his study. When I was younger he used to help me take them apart and we used to build them together sometimes.”

“So, you’ve never really gone crazy with them? It’s so much fun to make random stuff. Ne-san bought me one of those boxes that you can use to make anything.”

“I feel like it’s probably because they knew you would change their sets up. So they likely bought those to distract you.” He smiled to himself, and Koutaro tilted his head at him. Resisting the urge to laugh, he pursed his lips into a thin line. 

“Okay, next time you come over you need to try it.”

“If Bokuto-san doesn’t mind.”

“Hm, if I minded, I wouldn’t be telling you right?”

“That’s true.”

“So don’t be so formal with me.” He huffed, crossing his arms. “Remember I told you not to be nice.”

“You’re right.” Sighed Akaashi, making Bokuto’s eyes widen. “I’ll go out of my way to bother you now.”

“Good! ‘Cause if it’s you bothering me then I’m not bothered.”

Hiding a shy smile, Keiji dragged him towards the section with the sets of lego flowers. Seeing them again, he no longer felt the hesitation to buy them. A few years ago when they had first been released, Akaashi had wanted nothing more than to buy each one of them. However, a voice in the back of his mind held him back. 

Since his childhood, he had known flowers to be a gift. Whether it was between lovers or friends, much of the poetry behind those precious symbols resided in the action of giving.

For the first time, he had someone to buy them for.

“Which one do you wanna get?” Asked Koutaro curiously, eyeing the collection with bewilderment. 

“Which one does Koutaro-san like?”

For a few moments, Bokuto just scanned the walls before him. Eyes flitting back and forth between the display and the boxes, he seemed to be choosing the rose bouquet. 

“Aren’t ya supposed to give roses on a date?”

“That’s usually the norm.”

Taking his time to deliberate, Koutaro once again donned his thinking face. Without an explanation, he moved away from that particular box. Pondering over his decision, he seemed to be conflicted between the other two bouquets. 

“These don’t have sunflowers either.” He sighed, hand dropping from the display in disappointment. 

God, he’s so cute.

Running his hand along the boxes, he felt the smooth surface slide against his skin until he reached the one closest to Bokuto. Even though he was not looking in his direction, he could feel those eyes trained on him.

“They may not have sunflowers, but they are quite beautiful.”

“Which one do you like more?”

With a small hum, he picked up the regular bouquet, moving past the wildflowers.

Despite his protests Keiji insisted that they split the cost, making Bokuto pout like a denied child. 

“Why don’t you let me buy you things?”

“Koutaro-san, you just bought me so much food. You can’t say that.” He pointed out. “Besides, Lego is expensive.”

“Hey, I don't really care about that. I like spending money on you.”

“You’re going to spoil me.”

“I’m trying, but you won’t let me!”

“You just b-”

The sound of someone clearing their throat interrupted him, and Keiji found the short old cashier looking at them tiredly. Blushing horribly, Akaashi hastily placed the money on the counter. With a small poke to the ribs Koutaro obliged, giving half the money he clutched in his hand.

Sighing, she handed them the receipt, and Akaashi accepted it with a string of apologies. 

“Is there a space where we could sit a-”

“Back left side of the store.”

Coughing out an awkward ‘thanks’, Keiji took Bokuto’s hand, speedily making his way to the place she mentioned.

Unexpectedly, it was more secluded than he would have thought. Far removed from the front of the store, the only light which reached them was from the bulbs above. While the space for kids with the random brick selection was nearby, nobody seemed to be sitting on these tables. Well, considering the time, most kids would be in school right now.

Despite everything, Keiji could not believe his luck at the quaint secluded area, tucked away from the biting cold outside. He had been bracing himself for the inevitable exposure to the frosty air. To say he was grateful would have been a gross under description. 

“Woah, Keiji look!”

Pointing towards the corner of the store, Bokuto drew his attention away from the table arrangement and towards the corner of the store.

Next to the scant tables, the wall was filled with sets that had been put together and placed on display. Even from here he could see the collection of Star Wars figurines his dad had been completely enamoured with. Not to mention the famous Lego Death Star which had been on his and his dad’s wish list for as long as he could remember. 

While there were both high and low tables, Keiji led Bokuto towards the low ones, simply out of habit.

“You’re not gonna sit and start tutoring me again, are you?” He asked, gingerly sitting down as if afraid that Akaashi would pull out a textbook and pencils. While he seemed to be mostly joking, there was an apprehensive look in his eyes. 

“That’s precisely why I got you here Bokuto-san. Because the first thing I want to do after my exams are over is to study.” Said Akaashi plainly, giving Bokuto a look which made him pull out a sheepish smile. “Are you that enthusiastic about studying now?”

“Definitely not.” He replied quickly, and Keiji couldn’t help but chuckle. 

“Well that’s great, because I could use a break.” Said Akaashi, placing the lego set on the table in front of them. 

The table along with the floor cushions seemed to be relatively new, since they still seemed to have structural integrity. Grateful for the extra support, he wiggled into a comfortable position. While there was plenty of space, Bokuto seemed conveniently pressed against his side. 

“Can I make the ones you like?” Asked Bokuto, eyeing the box suspiciously, as if trying to figure out Keiji’s favourites all by himself. 

“Ideally we’ll be making them for each other so, yes that’s essentially the idea.”

Considering he found most of the flowers nice, he didn't pay much attention to the way they divided the pieces.

Before long, they fell into a comfortable system, making light conversation as they began putting the flowers together. While it was fundamentally similar to putting Lego together with his dad, it seemed entirely different.

While his dad always made it a point to give him more of the pieces and constantly offered his help, he felt the positions had been somewhat reversed. While it didn’t seem like Bokuto needed any help, he felt he could have just sat here and watched him complete the flowers. 

It seemed to dawn on him that even though he didn’t feel ready for putting that four letter label on this yet, the feeling was already there. 

Keiji found himself taking longer than he should have, noticing that Bokuto was somewhat slower than him. Constantly double checking, his eyes spent the majority of the time flitting between the pieces and the manual. Never before had he seen this deliberate patience in his hands. There seemed to be not a single tug of urgency, which was very unlike him. 

“Bokuto-san? Are you..” Trailing off he took a deep breath and started again. “Are you enjoying yourself?”

Utterly engrossed, he did not even turn his way, instead giving him an acknowledging hum. 

“Hm, yeah, but I wanna ask you something.”

“Alright.”

“Have you never wanted to make something on your own? Like not following these things?” He asked slowly, not daring to take his eyes off the flower.

“Not really.”

Surprisingly, that seemed shocking enough to divert Bokuto’s attention over to him, even if it was just for a moment. 

“This is the first time I’m using one of these.”

Taken by surprise, Keiji felt like that statement didn’t quite match most of what he had seen of his sisters. They seemed to go out of their way sometimes to support or include Bokuto, even if it tended to be on their terms. Making him sit with them and watch anime, bothering him until he took their help for studying. Even taking him out once a month aside from the occasional family dinner. They even used to take him for his volleyball classes, waiting for him so that they could walk home together. 

“Really?? Your sisters didn’t let you work on theirs?”

“They said I could, but I didn’t feel like it.”

“Oh.”

Was he making Bokuto do something he didn’t enjoy? Was he only doing it be-

“I bet you’re thinking, ‘Am I making Bokuto-san do something he doesn’t wanna do?’”

“…”

Finally turning to him, Koutaro grinned as he poked the centre of his forehead.

“Think about what’s fun, not easy.” Reminded Bokuto, squishing Keiji's face between his hands. With his cheeks being squished, his vision became somewhat distorted. “Y’know what’s really, reallyyy fun?”

Keiji let out a sound that was truly meant to be a ‘what’ and thankfully Bokuto seemed to understand.

“Spending time with you! I’m having fun ‘cause I wanna make this for you and I’m trying something different. It's always exciting. I told you, we could be doing the most boring things together, but I still wouldn’t be bored. You don’t talk a lot about yourself, so I wanna know as much as I can. You told me so much right now, and I really liked that!”

Relinquishing the hold on his face, Bokuto turned back towards the Lego, humming under his breath as he continued to work. Left slightly frazzled, it took him a moment to come back to himself, slightly shaking his head and trying to put the cogs back in their place. 

“I told you I’d tell you if something made me uncomfortable right?”
“Mhm.”

“So, stop worrying about me! It makes me look like such a bad senpai.”

Before Akaashi could reply, a familiar sleazy salesman-like voice interrupted him.

“And were you ever considered a good senpai, you crazy owl?”

In the blink of an eye, the two of them whirled around, nearly breaking their necks in the process as they found a familiar uniform in front of them. Light grey pants lead to a coal grey sweater, navy jacket, and a red tie. The head atop the shoulders with its characteristic rooster-like bedhead and snarky smile.

“No way…” Gawked Bokuto, his diligent hands abandoning the pieces on the table as he turned towards his friend. “Kuroo??!” 

“Now don’t act so surprised, we do live in the same city you know.”

Scrambling to his feet, Bokuto tackled him with a hug which seemed to knock the air out of his lungs. A feeling that was far too familiar for Akaashi. For a second, the two of them were dangerously close to falling. As entertaining as it would be to watch Kuroo trip, if it entailed Bokuto getting hurt, the fun was leached out of it. 

Without being able to play volleyball, he would probably have nothing besides Akaashi to focus all that energy on, and it was more than enough to power a small city. Keiji definitely wasn’t equipped to handle that. 

“Ok ok, I know you're happy to see me, but could you try not to kill me before I even sit down?”

As the two of them began chittering like an entire flock of birds put together, Keiji leaned a little to the side. It would not be the craziest arithmetic to assume that where there was Kuroo there would also be his shorter and much quieter shadow. 

From somewhere behind Kuroo a familiar blond head peaked out. In his one of hands was a folded Nintendo DS, with a familiar charm hanging on the strap. His uniform was slightly different, considering there was a very large scarf wrapped around his neck.

“Akaashi.” He murmured, a hint of a smile playing on his lips and eyes widened with what was hopefully a pleasant surprise.

“Kenma-san, I didn’t know you were going to be here.”

For a moment, Akaashi contemplated whether he should get up to hug him too. However, while he didn’t harbour any particular reservations, Kenma was not the touchiest person. 

“I didn’t either.” Muttered Kenma, settling down on the cushion on the other side of the table, just opposite Akaashi. Beside them, Kuroo and Bokuto seemed to be engrossed in a similar yet far more energised conversation.

“How was your last exam?”

“I dunno, I guess it went fine.” He brushed off boredly. “I got a new game before they started, but Kuroo wouldn’t let me play. ”

“Kenma here-” began Kuroo, patting Bokuto’s shoulder to make him sit as he went towards Kozume. “-thinks he’s smart enough to get good grades without studying.”

“I didn’t say anything about good grades.” Corrected Kenma softly, inspecting the first flower Keiji had made. Despite himself, he had the fleeting urge to snatch it back out of his hands. As quickly as the intrusive thought emerged, he shoved it down. Kenma wouldn’t break or damage it, there was no reason to be so territorial. “I just gotta pass.”

“But you’re smart! If you apply yourself a little you can get good grades like it's nothing!”

“Don’t really care about that.”

Defeated, Kuroo let out a sigh, hunching over the table with his head in his hand as Kenma ignored him entirely.

Kozume’s hair had grown significantly in the past few months, the signs exceedingly obvious since he never re-did the bleach on his hair. Now the ends fell below his jaw, with the top a dark shade of brown. Kuroo’s hair, on the other hand, never seemed to change in length, which probably hinted at him meticulously caring for it. Even more so than Bokuto, who occasionally let his hair grow enough to cover his eyes when they were wet.

Blinking blankly, Keiji sneaked a glance at Bokuto. While Akaashi did not know what to say, Koutaro seemed to be attempting a segway into the conversation. Hair excitedly inelastic, Bokuto’s words seemed to be dancing on the tip of his tongue.

Did Keiji and Bokuto sound like that too? If anything, they were far more obvious. For a moment, Akaashi pitied the people who were forced to be around the two of them. However he was quickly reminded that their entire volleyball team used to find any and every excuse to leave the two of them together for the past two years. It seemed they were invested in this relationship while simultaneously and expertly avoiding it.  

“Well what brings you here?” Interrupted Akaashi, poking through the invisible wall that seemed to segregate their two worlds.

“Kuroo’s stalking Bokuto, cause your boyfriend never keeps anything to himself.” Sneaked in Kenma, making both of them shriek protests at the same time. Seemingly satisfied, Kenma sported a smile that made Akaashi glad they were friends. 

“It was a coincidence.” Corrected Kuroo, giving Kenma a look which made him roll his eyes. “Our dads took us out for dinner. But they’re shopping for other stuff right now so they said we can just go do whatever we want.”

“And I see the ‘whatever’ meant crashing our date.” Asked Akaashi, narrowing his eyes at Kuroo who seemed to freeze in place as Kenma scoffed at him. However the intimidation didn’t seem to last very long since Bokuto definitely did not get the message. 

“Hey us too!” Chirped Bokuto, instantly lifting Kuroo’s mood as they moved on from the false accusations. “Keiji’s dad’s taking us for dinner.”

“See Kenma, he’s using Akaashi-kun’s first name, why can’t you do it for me?” Whined Kuroo, helplessly gesturing towards the two of them. “We’ve literally known each other for like 10 years!”

Averting his gaze, Kenma looked resolutely at the edge of the table, the lighting actually enabling him to hide his pink cheeks. “I told you I’m getting around to it.”

Clearing his throat, Akaashi took the flower back from Kenma, settling it down on the table between them. Raising his eyebrows inquisitively, Kenma’s eyes met his, waiting for him to talk.

“It took us-”

“You.” Corrected Bokuto pointedly. “You’re the one that keeps calling me Bokuto-san.”

“Force of habit.” He sighed, caught red handed with no scrap of defending evidence. While he wanted to say that Koutaro still used Akaashi quite often, he was the one who called him Keiji first. “We only decided on this recently.”

“He calls a lot of people by their first name, even that shrimp from Karasuno-”

“Hinata! I hope that guy’s training properly. Man, wish I could’ve played those guys…”

“You’ve met him twice! What about me?” He whined. While his words and petulant tone seemed to hint at him being truly upset, his body language suggested otherwise. It seemed both he and Kenma were masters when it came to pulling each other’s legs. Kuroo knew exactly what to say to get a rise out of Kenma, while the other could set him off with just a few words. As annoying as it was, he truly was talented when it came to the art of provocation. “You even use Tora for Yamamoto!”

“Everyone uses that.” Defended Kenma, shrugging as he brushed it off. While Keiji seemed to think he might have become a little uncomfortable, he realised Kuroo probably knew where the line was with Kenma better than he did.  

“Yeah and everyone uses Kuroo for me, so I don’t want you to do it.”

“Are you jealous?” He confronted Kuroo, staring him down as he immediately faltered. For the first time, Akaashi saw Kuroo genuinely blush. For someone who always seemed to be haughtily looking down on others (literally and figuratively), he almost never let genuine expressions through. It seemed the only time they ever came up coincided with conversations involving Kenma. He had to admit, when not spouting nonsense, he actually was not difficult on the eyes. “You can’t really be jealous of Shoyo.”

Invested, Keiji seemed to have expended far too much focus on the couple in front of him, and didn’t pay attention until he felt Bokuto gently poking his arm. Tearing his eyes away, Keiji turned towards Koutaro instead, finding him rubbing the back of his neck with a sheepish smile. 

Gesturing for him to lean in closer, Keiji gently held onto the fabric of his jacket. 

“Are you feeling like a third wheel yet?” He asked, his voice barely a whisper to make sure the other two didn’t hear them..

Making a questioning noise, Koutaro tilted his head out of habit, even though he wasn’t exactly looking at Keiji. 

“What’s a..”

“Someone who isn’t wanted or necessary in a situation.” He recited, still having it dedicated to memory due to annoying Kanji questions. “It’s mostly used for people who tag along with couples.”

“So we’re both third wheels?”

“Well we might not be necessary, but we’re technically not unwanted.” He pointed out. “After all, they came up to us.”

“So they’re the third wheels right?”

“Hmm, from our perspective maybe.” Admitted Keiji. “Were you hoping Kuroo and Kenma would crash our date?”

“Hey, I wasn't thinking about them at all!”

“Then that does make them third wheels.” He agreed, and Bokuto let out a sigh, resting his head on Keiji’s shoulder, and out of nowhere his stomach felt like it caged a bunch of fluttering butterflies. Being touchy was one thing, but doing it so blatantly in front of others was not something Keiji would ever get used to. Lightly pressing his cheek against the top of his head for a moment, Akaashi tried his best to calm himself. “Are you tired, Bokuto-san?”

“Are you kidding? I could run till Mt. Fuji right now!” He refuted, further melting into Akaashi. Just to keep them upright, he mixed his hand away from Bokuto and supported himself off the ground. Just holding him up was enough of a workout for the whole day. 

“You probably shouldn’t run so soon after eating.”

“Hm, you’re right.” He mumbled, poorly stifling a yawn.

“Also, Koutaro-san would get very sweaty, and you won’t get to shower before dinner.”
“Mmmhm.” Hummed Bokuto, nuzzling into Keiji’s neck. “I think all the studying is catching up to me.” 

“So your brain is tired?”

“Yup.”

“And you’re not being clingy to get more attention from me?”
Freezing, Bokuto tried to pull away, but not before Keiji poked him in the stomach. Unlike before he seemed to be caught off guard and squealed like a frightened child. While it was not Keiji’s intention to do so, it seemed to finally drag the two sitting on the other side of the table back to reality.

Ignoring the wounded expression on Koutaro’s face, Akaashi turned back towards Kenma.

“Lego?”

“My boyfriend’s the biggest nerd in my life. You think we can go outside without him dragging me here?” He asked with a playful smile, tugging at Kuroo’s strings like a professional harpist.

For some reason, Keiji couldn’t help but feel a small pang of jealousy. The two of them had known each other long enough to be far more comfortable with each other than him and Bokuto. While the two of them were still trying to figure each other out, Kuroo and Kenma didn’t have to dance around blindly anymore. Knowing the only thing that would help him was time, logically he knew they would reach that point too someday. However, he couldn’t help but think it would have been better if the two of them had started dating earlier.

“Oi, Kenma-”

“It’s fine though. Means I get to drag him to the game store.”

“I’d go with you anyway!” Protested Kuroo. “I don’t have anything against you playing, exams are over now.”

“Yeah, even if you wanted to do anything about it, in a couple of weeks you can’t.” He pointed out, sticking his tongue out towards Kuroo.

Even though his words were lighthearted, there was a certain melancholic ring to them that seemed to resonate with Keiji. After all, with Kenma here, he wasn’t the only one losing his boyfriend to the one year graduation gap. 

“Don’t remind meee.” Groaned Bokuto, and Kuroo hummed in agreement. “You’re even meaner than Akaashi!”

“Hey, why is my reputation being tarnished?” 

“You both are so similar it’s creepy.” He pointed out, completely ignoring Akaashi’s complaints. “Except Keiji’s got waaAAYYY more energy than you Kenma.”

“Damn, too early in the day to get called out, Bokuto.” Kenma said, possibly with the most monotonous voice Keiji had ever heard leave his lips. Despite that, it seemed he had begun talking far more than before, with none of them having to pull him into conversation. “Can’t you wait till after 5?”

“I still can’t believe you practised with Hinata and not me!”

“I tossed five balls.” He protested, brows furrowing as he looked at Bokuto. “And at least he let me run away. You wouldn’t even let me do that.”

“That’s five more than you’ve ever given me.” Pointed out Koutaro, ignoring the second half of Kenma’s complaints. 

“You have Akaashi!”

Blinking for a moment, Bokuto seemed taken aback as he turned to look at Keiji. Slightly confused at the sudden trajectory, Akaashi simply stared back as Koutaro studied him for a moment. However as soon as they made eye contact, they both broke into a ridiculous smile that made Kuroo gag.

“Ugh. Get a room.”

“Hey! I coulda said that when you and Kenma were going at it!”

“You didn’t though, did you?” Sneered Kuroo, earning a glare from Bokuto as his voice delved into the usual teasing tone.“Another missed opportunity, just like that last line shot I blocked in the qualifiers.”

“Still couldn’t block the cross after that though!”

“Hey I’m not a freak of nature, big man.”

“Kuroo, you bast-” 

Lightly slapping Bokuto’s arm, Keiji gave him a look, reminding him they were in a very audible, and very public space.

Not to mention the cashier who already seemed to be sick of them.

“Your blocks have more holes than Akaashi’s cheese.” Bit back Bokuto, making all three sets of eyes turn towards Akaashi unexpectedly.

Unwillingly shoved onto the podium, it took a second for his mind to remember the answer.

“It’s Swiss.”

Kuroo let out a groan, while Bokuto gleefully jeered at him. Rolling his eyes, Kenma tentatively patted Kuroo’s back as he hunched away from the entire group. 

“There there, I guess.” He mumbled, waiting for Kuroo to let out a defeated sigh.

“That was a quick defeat.” Pointed out Keiji, painful memories of the endless suffering he endured in the training camps. Compared to that, Kuroo seemed a washed down version of the original. “I was expecting more of a fight from you, Kuroo-san.”

“Hey I deserved that win!” Complained Bokuto, letting out a huff as he crossed his arms.

With a sigh of his own, Keiji nursed the early signs of headache as he looked at Koutaro. Despite the fact that he could probably enjoy that the two of them were not arguing with their two shared brain cells, he felt it was out of place for it not to happen. And it was quite likely he would not have to endure it for quite a while. 

“Is it really a win if Kuroo-san gives up like that?”

“Hey, I didn't give up!”

“I think his brain is fried from all the dad jokes lmao.”

Did he just say lmao out loud?

As if spontaneously regaining his lost energy, Kuroo’s eyes lit up at the shift in conversation. Although fundamentally different, Keiji couldn’t help but find it similar to Bokuto. 

“Kenma’s mom is a bigger bully than him, can you imagine?”

“You should meet Akaashi’s oka-san- '' Shuddered Bokuto, as if terrified even by the shadow of her memory. 

“My oka-san isn’t…” Akaashi defended, only to drift off as he realised he had probably not thought this through. “Well, she is a little scary. But not in a very traditional sense.” 

Although she wasn’t oppressive, she certainly was influential. While she never asked for anything unreasonable, he couldn’t help but think she indirectly pushed for more things than he could consciously recognise. Never outwardly demanding, his mom always seemed to get her way somehow. She was like an all powerful puppetmaster, pulling strings Keiji didn’t even know existed. 

“Kuroo’s a lot like his dad.”

“You mean he gave me all his nerd genes.” Scoffed Kuroo, watching Kenma talk so fondly that it made Keiji’s stomach lurch.   

“Yet, nothing smart comes out of your mouth, Kuroo-san.” Added Akaashi, making Bokuto burst into laughter as Kenma’s neck nearly suffered whiplash from how quickly he turned away to hide his smile.

“Hey! I- Kenma not you too!”

“What’d you want me to do, he’s kinda right.” Scoffed Kenma, further ruffling his feathers. “Every time you’re around Bokuto I keep forgetting that you end up scoring the highest in the school sometimes.”

“If anything, that's Bokuto’s fault, not mine.” He pointed out and Kenma’s eyes narrowed.

“It doesn’t work on Akaashi.”

Left grasping for words like a desperate climber searching for a foothold, Kuroo seemed to have no defence left.

“C’mon, Bokuto, let's finish the Lego.” He said pointedly, about to reach for one of the pieces by Koutaro’s hands only for him to gather all of them out of his reach.

“Nuh-uh. Not these. I’m making these for Keiji. You can’t work on it.”

“You’re no fun.” He tsked, resting his chin in the palm of his hand with a huff. However, before he continued, his expression turned from petulant to slightly more guilty. “But, sorry for crashing your date.”

“I’ll forgive it this time, Kuroo-san.” Said Akaashi plainly, side eyeing Kuroo as all three of them looked at him quizzically. While he was joking, he was never blatantly rude, but for some reason Keiji felt like pushing his limits today. While rationally he knew they obviously did not plan to intrude, he felt strangely possessive of Bokuto. Especially of his time. “I don’t have much time with Bokuto-san before he leaves. But then, again, I barely get to see Kenma-san, so I’ll forgive it.”

“See, now you’ve pissed him off Kuroo.” Tsked Kenma, trying not to smile as he met Keiji’s eyes. “How about we make a different plan, ‘cause we gotta go meet up with dad soon too.”

It was Keiji’s turn to look at him with wide eyes.

Even while texting, or any of the times they had met at the training camps, Kenma had shown to be even more reclusive than Akaashi. To a certain degree, he would be considered outgoing and talkative in comparison to Kozume.

And yet…

However, as shocked he was, nothing could compare to the expression on Kuroo’s face as he gaped at Kenma. It seemed this was an even rarer occurrence than Akaashi had realised. 

“Kenma, are you-” Began Kuroo, voice ripping with disbelief. “Are you making a plan… with friends? Oh my god, it finally worked I- I might actually cry…”
“Don’t flatter yourself, I barely get to meet Akaashi.” He reminded him, hiding the bottom half of his face in his scarf as Kuroo’s face immediately grew sour.

“Hey, what about me?” Complained Bokuto. “We can all play volleyball together if there’s four of us!”

“I’m uninviting you.” Said Kenma immediately, and Keiji scoffed.

While Kenma was clearly joking, Bokuto seemed extremely disheartened, and Keiji wondered if he had to pull out a move from the extensive weakness list. 

“Kenma, I thought you’re finally gonna be nice.” Pouted Kuroo, making very dramatic pleading eyes towards Kenma. For a few seconds, they seemed to be locked in a stalemate, with neither of them backing down. However it seemed Kenma was not

as immune to Kuroo as he would have liked to portray, since he conceded not long after his boyfriend gave him a smile. Not the playful, snarky smile he often seemed to flash at people, but a genuine grin that seemed to adorn his face so rarely that even Kenma could not ignore it.

“I’ll play one game. That’s it.” Surrendered Kenma, letting out a heavy sigh. Next to him, Bokuto and Kuroo cheered, celebrating with an immediate high five.

“Aww. I knew you cared.” Sang Kuroo, poking Kenma’s cheek as he glared at him.

“Don’t aww me, it’s the only way I won’t have to hear Bokuto complain the entire time.” He admitted. “One game, no best of 3, or best of 5. One game till 25, that’s it. In return, I’m gonna make you all play mario kart.”

Grimacing, Kuroo let out a small hiss, shaking his head sadly as he looked towards Akaashi. “You better bring your A game, or he’s gonna wipe the floor with you.”

Remembering the few times he had played with the Bokuto siblings, he knew that Koutaro could either end up being amazing or absolutely abysmal depending on the day. However, he was still better off than Akaashi, who had to be reminded of the controls each time they played. 

“Three games,” suggested Akaashi, staring Kenma down. “One with me and Bokuto-san in a team, one with me and Kuroo-san, and one with me and you.”

As he suspected, upon hearing the last team suggestion, Kenma’s eyes seemed to gleam. Knowing how his mind worked, Keiji knew he had probably just given him a proposition he couldn’t help but take part in.

Beside him, the two of them seemed shocked that the idea seemed to come from Keiji, and not Bokuto who was clearly the one who wanted to play volleyball in the first place. However, as much as Keiji wanted to enjoy a relaxing day with Kenma, he didn’t want to miss this opportunity. Aside from official games and training camps, he would never get the opportunity to play with Kenma. Even then, never with him on the same team.

Guess Akaashi liked volleyball more than he would care to admit. 

“Fine.” Relented Kenma, earning gasps from both Kuroo and Bokuto. “But games till 15, not 25.”

Shocked, Kuroo’s eyes flit between Kenma and Akaashi, seemingly unable to decide who had surprised him more. It took him a minute to even find the words he seemed to want to say, but Keiji already knew what it was going to be. 

“No way, how the hell did you manage to convince him Akaashi?”

“I just made it an interesting side quest.” He smiled, earning a chuckle from Kenma which seemed to surprise the two of them even more. After the first time Kozume had used the video game metaphor, it had become an inside joke for the two of them, integrated into the way they texted each other. “Guess it seemed fun enough for him to give it a shot.”

Falling into a silent stupor, Kuroo studied him for a few minutes, and Keiji could not predict a single thought that might have been going through his mind. 

Was he envious of the way he had been able to convince Kenma? No, that seemed improbable, since he probably had many ways to persuade him. Akaashi just knew of one way, Kuroo probably knew of a million more. Then why exactly was he staring at him that way?

Before Akaashi could reach a logical conclusion, Kuroo’s obnoxiously loud ringtone blared through the room, making him clumsily flap around till he found it.

While he was on the phone, Akaashi caught Kenma’s gaze out of the corner of his eye.

“Sailor moon?”

Wordlessly, he shrugged waiting for his boyfriend to get off the phone.

Maybe it was just the way he was, but it seemed to him that Kenma had changed in the few weeks that had gone by since the tournament. In his own way, he seemed a little more outgoing, or at least he wasn’t actively trying to leave the situation at hand. The fact that he agreed to come out with their dads and Kuroo seemed to be one of the biggest indicators. More so than him, Kenma was a homebody that seemed to require a high amount of initiative to leave his room.

Or just a few words from the right person. 

“Oi, Kenma, your dad s-”

“Yeah, okay, let’s go.” interrupted Kenma. Turning towards Akaashi, he took a moment before flashing him a small smile. Not the playful kind they had often shared before during matches from either side of the net. It seemed to convey a very different, very profound joy that seemed difficult to put into words. 

Once again, Keiji was reminded how different people could be in person and over the phone. 

“I’ll text you.”

Kuroo turned to Bokuto as he prepared to stand up.

“Bokuto Koutaro. Never let him go.” He said firmly, a hint of awe in his voice. “I’ll literally punch you if you mess this up.”

“For real.” Agreed Kenma, sticking his arm out to Kuroo as a silent ask to help him up. Ignoring his arm entirely, Kuroo shuffled behind him, lifting him to his feet like one would pick up a stray cat. Instead of showing even a hint of complaint, Kenma patiently let him drag him along, stifling a yawn as they began walking away.

“We’ll plan this out soon! How about the day after the graduation ceremony?”

Out of the corner of his eye Keiji saw Bokuto’s cheer dim as Kuroo bid them goodbye. Or was it the mention of graduation? Shouldn’t he be a little excited?

“Sounds good, Kuroo-san.” Akaashi replied, a little more enthusiastically than he usually did, subconsciously covering for Koutaro. “Have a nice time!”

The two of them had receded into some part of the store, so his reply was a little too muffled to decipher, but there weren’t many things he could possibly reply with. 

Finally, he turned his full attention back towards Bokuto, who had silently returned to his half of the Lego set. While it wasn’t as apparent as usual, Keiji could tell he seemed to be a little down. Shoulders hunched, his face was marred with a furrowed brow and a frown that Keiji wanted to kiss away.

“Bokuto-san, would you like to talk about it?” he asked softly, slipping his hand over Koutaro’s, making him stop dead in his tracks.

For an uncomfortable few seconds, he made no move to reciprocate, or reply. Those few seconds were stretched out uncomfortably until Keiji felt the suffocating weight of the silence weighing on his own words.

“Is it about you graduating?” 

“Can we- let’s not talk about it right now, ‘kay?”

Giving his hand a tight squeeze, he waited until Koutaro breathed out heavily, hopefully to calm himself. But, just as he was about to take his hand away, Bokuto held it, with just the right pressure as always. 

“I know it’s pretty soon, but I don’t really wanna think about it.” He admitted, not quite meeting his eyes.

For a moment, Akaashi found himself in what could be considered a conundrum. While he hoped Bokuto would bring up what was troubling him, he always seemed to think things through before telling Keiji. As curious as he was to know what was going on in his mind, he knew right now, Koutaro didn’t need more questions from him.

Leaning towards him, he pressed a kiss to the side of his head, making him finally turn to look at Keiji. For the first time, he understood what Bokuto always said after looking at him. In his eyes, he could see thoughts running past at the speed of light, and he wondered if it was similar to how he looked whenever he was lost in his own mind.

While he didn’t exactly look sad, his expression seemed a little too complicated for him to decipher. Keiji possibly could have spent the rest of the time they had alone here to guess, but that seemed like an insult to the time they had alone. 

“Alright…” He whispered, giving Koutaro a soft smile. “I’m here whenever you want to talk about it.”

“Keiji, you’re breaking your own rules, y’know!” He pointed out with a smile that seemed to have taken a little convincing to appear on his face. “So you can kiss me, but I’m not allowed to kiss you?”

Resisting the urge to laugh, he kept himself to a smile as he cupped Bokuto’s face, letting him lean into it for a moment before tilting towards him.

“You can kiss me, but it’s just got to be quick. We’re in a public space after all.”

Perking up, his mood lifted almost immediately, however there still seemed to be a tinge of sadness around the edges. 

“Really?!”

“Mhm.”

Like always, no matter how excited he was, he always kissed him so softly that Keiji himself wondered if he was that delicate. Even if his hold was tight, he never kissed him any other way aside from extremely calculated tenderness. And like always, Akaashi wished he would never pull away.

However, instead of going back to the way he was, he hid his face into Keiji’s neck, letting out a heavy sigh that made his heart race. 

“Bokuto-san-”

“I don’t want to leave.” He said softly, and Akaashi’s breath caught in his throat. “I wanna play in college, but… I don’t wanna leave you Keiji. I don’t wanna think about it.”

Just as he was about to comfort him, Bokuto shot up straight, shaking his head as if shedding his thoughts away.

“Okay! It’s gonna be fine. We’ll keep meeting each other!”

Puzzled, Akaashi didn’t know what to say as he seemed to watch Bokuto go through all the stages of grief all by himself.

“I need to get it together! You won’t be there to comfort me all the time, so I gotta start doing it myself!” He exclaimed resolutely. “I can’t be so reliant anymore.”

“Well I think you’ll be fine, since you just had an entire conversation with yourself. Which is… completely normal.”

“Right? I-” began Bokuto excitedly, only to look at him with narrowed eyes. “Hey, you're being sarcastic!”

“Ideally a conversation involves two people.” He pointed out, trying his best not to laugh. “But if Bokuto-san wants to be independent, I’m not going to complain.”

With a huff, Koutaro turned away from him and towards the table again. Poking him playfully, Akaashi took delight in the fact that he seemed to hit a point which made him squirm.

“Thank you for telling me what was troubling you.”

“Hmph.”

“Now, let’s finish these flowers before my parents get here.”

Chapter Text

Standing before the mirror, Keiji straightened his tie. It didn’t need straightening. It was perfectly fine, as always. But, why did it seem so tight? The only time it really ever got messed up was because of Bokuto. Even before they began dating, he had absolutely no concept of personal space. It only got worse with every passing day. 

Well, it seemed like that was going to stop in a few hours.

In just a few hours, Bokuto would say goodbye to these slate grey walls, and Keiji would have to watch him go.  

With a slight shake of his head, Akaashi glanced at his watch. Seeing the second hand steadily ticking away, he realised that any more tarrying would make him late. 

Making eye contact with himself in the mirror, for some reason he forced himself to put up a small smile. The stark white lighting hurt his eyes, missing the dimmer, more saturated tints of his room. It made the bags under his eyes look even worse than before. Lately, no matter what he did, his eyes seemed to tire much faster even though he was getting more than enough sleep.   

With a sigh, he broke away from the reflection, picking up his bag from the counter as he left the bathroom. While many people from his own class and the lower year milled about the hallway. The corridor was a sea of grey jackets and blue ties. Everyone had normal classes which mostly went free, since the teachers were tied up with the ceremony. Akaashi had taken special permission to attend, since usually only family was allowed. Although he had been hesitant at first, Bokuto and his family refused to let him sit out, even going so far as to invite his parents too. 

“Akaashi-senpai!!”

Before he even had the chance to turn, he heard footsteps running up to him. For some reason, even though he knew it wasn’t Koutaro, his body was braced for the inevitable impact. Only… it didn’t come. iQuick as a flash, the first year setter on their team, Anahori Suichi appeared by his side. 

“Anahori-san, I told you there’s no need to call me senpai.”

“And I told senpai to just call me Suichi,” he pointed out.

Smiling to himself, Akaashi slowed down, even though he wanted nothing more than to bolt towards that gymnasium. 

“Will you be there for practice today?” he asked curiously, peering at Akaashi’s face. 

“I don’t think there is any practice today.”

“Oh.” Although he sounded disappointed, Keiji could see the thinly veiled excitement lingering just behind that mask. 

“I see your face, you’re not hiding that look as well as you think you are.” he pointed out, making Anahori flinch. While Bokuto had his own way of motivating them, Keiji could not replicate that even if he tried. Even by saying nothing, his very presence seemed to make them try even harder. On the other hand, Keiji’s attention on them made them freeze in place. “Try not to get too excited, we’ll still have practice during the break.”

“Y-yes senpai.”

“I know drills can seem boring, but if you don’t practise how do you expect to perform?”

A little brutal, but the team was getting used to him now. While Bokuto also tended to point things out, for some reason it never came out the way Keiji’s words did. What was it about him that scared everyone so much? 

“Yes, senpai.”

“Now run along. And I’m not scolding you, so you don’t have to look this scared.”

“Yes senpai!” He replied and Akaashi was scared he might actually salute him.

Just as he turned to leave, he looked back towards Keiji, not quite meeting his eyes. Although Keiji already knew he made a few first years nervous, it seemed to have turned up a notch in these few seconds. 

“Oh, uhm… senpai…”

“Yes, Suichi-san?”

“Good.. luck…?” 

Sighing to himself, he watched Anahori take off as if terrified he would pursue him. Why did he say ‘good luck’? Keiji was just…

Oh. 

With difficulty, he resisted the urge to laugh as he took off in the opposite direction. While the third years that were- used to be- on the team were comfortable teasing him and Bokuto endlessly. Many of their younger teammates ended up gawking the few times they had even touched in front of them. Keiji couldn’t help but feel like an elephant in a zoo enclosure as they stared at him. In those moments he was glad that they were a little afraid of him. 

Although people greeted him, no one stopped him as he slipped past. Everyone knew why he was in a rush, he was sure of that. 

Did they pity him for being left behind? 

Not that he had a choice. 

Aside from the obvious one year graduation gap, Koutaro was someone who always looked ahead. Even if Keiji fell back temporarily, it was not sympathy that permitted him to catch up. For others it might have been a pain, but to share that path with him… it was a privilege. Had it been an option, Keiji still would never tie him down just so he could catch up.  

Even though he was preoccupied trying to reach on time, he couldn’t ignore the strange chill as he went down the staircase he and Koutaro always used. Not having his hand holding his own and tugging him along made it feel wrong. Everywhere he looked was dusted with memories of Koutaro that would likely not fade any time soon. There was not a corner of the grey walls he could look at without the painful reminder of how there would be no new memories with Bokuto here after today. 

While the stairs themselves were not crowded, he crossed many people in the hallways as he wove his way out to the grounds. With the winter chill finally fading, the grass began sprouting up in sections in the otherwise barren fields. Since he was still in his indoor school shoes, he couldn’t

step off the concrete. However, he knew if Bokuto had been there, he would have instantly taken him to the nearest patch of grass. Just the same way a child would gravitate towards a stretch of untouched fresh snow. 

The books in his bag hit his side with every step as he sped up. He had just returned his old library books and begged the librarian to let him take more than the usual two. So now he had four very heavy novels he planned on devouring during the break. He truly hoped they would be good. 

Drawing closer to the gymnasium, he slowed down as he scanned the crowd. The first gym was similar to the one they used for volleyball, only twice as large. Along the length of the gym, countless chairs were arranged in neat lines. A few rows from the front he saw Konoha’s parents and sister who must have taken an off from college. A few seats away from them, Washio’s parents were calmly scanning the rows of third year kids.

It was strange, seeing the origin of his friends’ features in the faces of their family. It was a little convoluting, seeing what his friends might look like in the future being derived from their parents. He was so used to seeing the blaring shared features of the Bokuto family that it was an intriguing change to see the more subtle ones in Komi and Washio’s families. It turns out Konoha’s light hair came from his mother whose parents were from Europe.

Shaking his head lightly, he dismissed the thoughts as he turned his attention back to why he was searching in the first place. In the same direction, he scoured the rows until… 

He found the one person who was looking back. 

Unable to help himself, he felt a smile come onto his face as Bokuto grinned. Waving excitedly, he nearly elbowed Konoha in the face, making Keiji wince. From this distance, he couldn’t see his face properly at all.. what was happening? 

Waving back, he was about to make his way over to him before he heard a familiar voice interject. 

“Oi, Kei-chan! Over here!”

Turning towards the sound, he saw Koutaro’s sisters waving at him. Beside them, his own parents just realised he was here and turned towards him as well. Stuck between two destinations he found himself torn between going to Koutaro or his family. Logically, he knew the ceremony would start soon and that he should go towards the seats instead. But every cell in his body protested at the thought. Even though it was not logical, he knew he wouldn't be able to sit still if he didn’t go to him first.

Gesturing towards them to wait, he turned back towards Bokuto. 

Only to find him missing.

Huh?

Scanning the crowd again, he squinted through the scattered groups of people around him for a flash of the familiar streaked hair. Just as he was about to turn back towards where Bokuto was originally seated, Akaashi was tackled in an all too familiar way.

In a split second, the air was forcefully pushed out of his lungs with a small oof as he felt Koutaro cling onto him tightly. Not even giving Akaashi the chance to hug him back, he pulled away just enough for them to see each others’ faces.

It seemed he had taken great care in pushing his spikes up today, since they looked far neater than usual. So many times they would end up a frazzled mess when Koutaro would hang his bag from his forehead instead of his shoulder. That peculiar method left his hands free but also tended to make him like an escaped convict. However, in his golden eyes, the sparkle that Keiji always loved danced erratically.

It was an exciting day, after all.

Akaashi always used to wonder what was the sparkle that so many books referred to. Until, he started growing older and seeing it when his parents spoke of each other to him. Or when Kenma talked about video games. When Hinata spoke to them about volleyball and learning from Bokuto. He had grown accustomed to seeing it, gradually losing that sense of reverence. Until.. well he saw it in Koutaro’s eyes when he looked at him.

Suddenly, something he thought he knew turned his world upside down. Words that danced on the tip of his tongue were lost. His heart that was meant to beat in his chest felt like it was escaping. And even when he had performed no exercise, his breathing seemed to grow shallow.

That sparkle that he had grown to love seemed to have grown to love him too. 

“Keiji! You’re finally here!” 

Was it the hug, or had Koutaro’s tie been crooked before that?

“I’m sorry for being late.” He said softly, brushing a stray hair away from Koutaro’s face. Avidly avoiding eye contact, he made every effort to look anywhere but directly at them. “Bokuto-san, you’re not supposed to leave your seat right now…”

Dropping his hands, he straightened the tie and flattened the lapels of his jacket. Even though there was really nothing wrong with the jacket. 

“I wanted to see you.” He pouted, catching Keiji’s hands before they fell. It was quite amusing how his voice immediately changed to that of a whiny toddler. “You were gonna sit with oka-san so you wouldn’t get in trouble, weren’t you?”

“I was actually coming to you first.” Refuted Akaashi. “You didn’t have to come all the way over here. It’s ok if I get in a little trouble for you.”

Astonished, Bokuto gawked at him in disbelief.

“Akaashi you’re so cool!”

“It’s the least I can do.” He reassured him, squeezing his hand for good measure. “Boku-”

“May I request everyone to take their seats, the ceremony is about to begin.”

With their little bubble suddenly popped, the two of them were silent for a moment. Keiji was simply trying to make peace with the fact that he would have to let go of Bokuto now.

Everyone around them hushed, quickly finding their places and settling in but Keiji still couldn’t find it in himself to take his hands away. Soon enough the two of them were the odd ones out. The only people left standing. But how could he let go when he had so much to say?

“Oi, Keiji, what were you gonna say?” Asked Koutaro curiously, peering at his face as he tilted his head.

“Nothing… don’t worry about it. I’ll see you after the ceremony.”

Had there been more time, Akaashi was sure that Bokuto would have insisted. But, he could see the anticipation in his eyes, and Keiji wanted him to experience every little thing. Before he let go, he leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss on Koutaro’s cheek. 

“Go on, I’ll be watching you the whole time, okay?”

When he pulled away, Bokuto seemed to want to say something, only to stop himself. Sensing his hesitation, Keiji gave him a small smile, which he wasted no time in reciprocating. Even then he knew it wasn’t a done deal since the spikes in his hair hunched listlessly. Akaashi was more than aware that they were out of time, but he really couldn’t send Bokuto ahead this way. 

“You’ve got this Koutaro-san.”

Once again, Keiji was reminded of just how curiously his words could affect him. The very sunlight seemed to bend to his will, surrounding him in a golden aura. With glittering eyes, Bokuto gave him a firm nod, his hair returning to their usual majesty. 

Watching him leave, he excused himself as he crept towards the large group. Although he was going towards his parents Sora, who was the closest to him, immediately pulled him in for a hug.

“Thank you for being here, Keiji-chan.” She blurted in a rushed whisper, tightly clutching to his arm. “I know it means the world to him that you’re here.”

As soon as the words slipped off her tongue, she relinquished her hold on him. Giving her a nod and somewhat rushed smile, he slipped into the seat in the row behind her, next to his mother.

Both Hiroto and their mom turned back to give him quick smiles. Keiji couldn’t even begin to imagine how they must have been feeling.

“Hello love, you okay?” asked his mom softly, giving his hand a little squeeze. She was wearing a light blue dress that reached the middle of her calves, with little hanging earrings that matched. She did similar make-up to when she had to go for an important meeting or an event for work. Although he didn’t know much about it, he liked the colour of her eyeshadow, which seemed to accentuate the dark blue in her eyes. In her other hand, she carefully clutched the bouquet Keiji had requested this morning. In the rush of the morning, he had forgotten both the bouquet and his camera. Thankfully, his parents had not been as absent minded, and remembered to bring both along.

“I think so.” he answered hesitantly, holding onto her hand tightly. He had agreed quickly that night, about wanting to be closer to his parents. And he meant it. However there was a deep rooted reluctance in him that kept him from any answer that wasn’t ‘yes, I’m fine’. After many years of yearning proper conversation with them, he realised that conversation was not as easy as it seemed.  While with Bokuto he had steadily become accustomed to honesty, he had no gauge of the field with his parents. “I’m not very sure.”

As he drew in a breath, he looked away from his mother and to his father instead. It seemed his parents had decided to match. While his dad didn’t wear a jacket, he wore a pale blue shirt with a navy sweater vest above it. 

When he was younger, the two of them at times had been so entrapped within their work lives, he had never really seen much affection between them. The older they all got, and the better they earned, they unwound from the tight bundle of knots to a pair with their unique signs of affection. Even with Akaashi, they never pushed for anything more than what he gave them, and for that he was grateful.

Although he had quickly agreed with his mother at the time, he often found himself plagued with that conversation. Of course, what child would not want their parents to know them? To love them, if given the opportunity. But… did that erase everything that had happened? The years he knew he could not go to his parents because they didn’t have the time for him?

However, knowing himself, he could never say this to them. 

Snapping out of his thoughts, he glanced down at himself, he realised his parents matched the shade of blue in his uniform. 

Furtively, he turned towards the Bokuto family. It seemed they had chosen their common colour to be black. Hiroto and their mother wore a dress, while Sora wore a black silk shirt that shone peculiarly.

Out of context, they looked solemn enough to be attending a funeral. 

“You must be proud of him.” Pointed out his father, giving him a smile Keiji felt only parents were capable of. It was a smile with a culmination of memories Akaashi could never hope to comprehend. Topped with a view of himself he would never be able to see.

It was a look Bokuto could never see from his own father. 

Frowning, he shook his head to dismiss the thought, but it continued to plague him as his eyes began to sting. What did it feel like to miss someone you didn’t even know? While Koutaro had the most supportive and loving siblings and mother, did he think of his father often? Of what he would think of him, or say to him on a day like this?

Of course, they would all say they were proud of him, Keiji included. There was just something different when it came from your parents. 

Brows furrowing, he shot his parents a look, which seemed to send his dad into a panic. 

“Are you both trying to make me cry?”

“No! We-” Defended his father, only to be interrupted by his mom. 

“Yes.”
Sighing, Keiji turned and stared firmly ahead. 

He knew his teachers were talking. Ordinarily, he would be hung up on every word. Graduations were monumental, representing a change he wasn’t really prepared to face. School was easy. In fact he barely had to do anything challenging. However, that rigid structure that held him together would last only one more year. 

What was Akaashi going to do after that?

Bokuto knew exactly where his life would lead him. And he was confident that his skills and propensity for growth would get him there. 

What about Keiji?

Could he really get himself where he wanted? Was he even skilled enough?

The teacher stepped off stage.

Huh. How were they already at the diplomas?

Fumbling for the camera, he kept it ready in his hand. With a small shake of his head, he tried to shoo away the thoughts buzzing like gnats around his head.

Today was not about him.

As the principal began speaking, the graduating class stood on the left of the stage in a neat line. On his way, Bokuto frantically swept over their general area, bumping into the person in front of him. As quick as a flash, his camera was up. Making eye contact, he waved his hand sheepishly before blowing a kiss as Keiji snapped a few shots,

blush creeping up his ears. Around him, a few people looked at each other quizzically. 

Flustered, he put the camera down as he heard Sora and his mother snicker.

“Nice to see he’s not nervous at all.” Pointed out Hiroto, and Keiji could hear the eye roll. Although sarcastic, her words held no bite. 

In a slightly monotonous voice. the principal began prattling off names and the students made their way to the stage. Off to the side, Bokuto seemed to be stiller than a stagnant pond, simply waiting his turn. The first 3 sections were those with more academically advanced classes, like Keiji’s. Bokuto was in 3-6 so it would be a while before he would go on stage. 

That definitely did not stop him from periodically looking Akaashi’s way and flashing a dazzling smile. Each time those eyes landed on him, he could almost forget he was surrounded by hundreds of parents. The whole world seemed to melt away, leaving just the two of them.

However, that certainly did not help his flushed ears cool down as more and more parents realised where Bokuto was looking.

“I love that Kou-chan is not too shy.” Pointed out his father, trying his best not to smile as he adjusted his glasses. “Reminds me of an old friend.”

Unsure of what to say, Keiji stayed silent. Usually his parents had taken on the challenge to be more conversational, and he tried his best not to get in the way when they brought something up.

“The one who flipped off her friend before going on stage?”

Woah?!

If he had been drinking something, he was sure to have spit it out like a breaching whale right then and there. Out of curiosity more than anything, Keiji maintained his vow of silence as he heard the impromptu lore drop. His dad did not often take the initiative to strike conversation. In the rare moments he did, Akaashi felt as if it was his duty to appreciate it. 

“Mhm.” Nodded his father. “She said there was nothing they could do about it now. I haven’t met her in person in quite some time...”

“Isn’t she living in Miyagi now? Her son’s the same age as Kei right?”

“Yes, I’ve heard her mention he plays volleyball too.”

“Wow… small world huh?”

No way.

“What’s your friend’s family name, Oto-san?”

“Well, it used to be Tachibana, but she took her husband’s name. So.. Nishinoya now.”

Small world indeed.

Out of the five craziest people Keiji knew, his father’s friend just so happened to be their parent. Looking back at what he said, he could certainly see where the untamed spirit was passed down from. While Karasuno’s libero didn’t seem the type to flip someone off, he had heard through Kuroo that Nishinoya had been briefly suspended. While he usually did not pay much attention to Kuroo’s gossip, it seemed to prove itself useful in this regard. 

“Do you know her son, Keiji?”

Initially, Akaashi knew of Nishinoya from his performance in his middle school, Chidoriyama. And while he had certainly never expected to meet him at training camp, he was pleasantly surprised when he did. There was something so utterly fascinating about Bokuto, Hinata, Kageyama, and Nishinoya. They were driven to the point where simply their presence was motivating. Even the smallest word from them could make or break a moment in a match. While there were many others who could weave words magically, like Kuroo, the four of them didn’t even need that medium.

Having them was enough.

Often, Akaashi would catch himself wondering

Nishinoya and Yaku were absolutely splendid in terms of techniques, and Akaashi couldn’t help but be in awe of them. Each time they played together, he was reminded that blocks were not the only persistent obstacles. Both were so utterly exceptional. Yaku being the libero of a team known for their defence. And Nishinoya being the only player solely focused on defence with his ever evolving and extremely attack based team.

Karasuno’s Guardian Deity.

Would Keiji ever be able to match up?

“Somewhat…”

“Wow, what is he like?”

“Pretty amazing actually. He’s in the team that joined the training camp this year.”

“Do the two of you get along?”

“Well, I haven’t spoken much with him.” He admitted, feeling somewhat guilty.

Thinking back to it, in this year’s training camp he had spoken far more than he had in his first year. Something he had Kenma to thank for. However, Hinata, Tsukishima, and Kuroo, not to mention Bokuto were the major contributors. Although they did not meet often, the open air of curiosity and respect took away the usual ire and drain of conversation. Somehow, speaking to them did not tire him out, and only made him curious.

He had found out later that Nishinoya had been working on overhand receives and setting. And, it had clearly worked out in his favour. Some of the plays where he filled in as a setter were absolutely wonderful. With a team like Karasuno, and players like Nishinoya, it was hard to be disappointed.

Looking back towards Bokuto he saw him trying to chat up his classmate who looked like he was about to chew through his lip. They were slowly but surely crawling closer to the stage. Keiji couldn’t help but grow increasingly aware of the sinking feeling in his stomach. Each part of him wished he stood there next to Bokuto.

Oh what a wretched year this was going to be.

Was it normal? To have dread circling through your veins at a graduation? Were graduations not meant to embrace the promise of a hopeful and better tomorrow? If so then what was this trepidation?

“Kou dragged us to those matches too! Nishinoya is such a spectacular libero.” Chimed in Sora, making sure to keep her voice low.

He was reminded that at all their matches at the nationals, there had been at least one member among both their families that was present. While the match they had before Karasuno and Nekoma had been during working hours, his parents were there from the quarter finals. They had to watch him be benched, but luckily he had cried when they couldn’t see him. Although crying in front of Bokuto wasn’t something he enjoyed, better him than his parents who were sure to over react.

Two days later after the finals, both their families had offered to take them home, but Akaashi refused. As did Bokuto. Keiji didn’t regret saying no. Going back home with his team was important. It was the last time they would have gone home together and he didn’t want to pass up on that.

He wondered whether he would get that last metro trip with Koutaro today.

“You remember when he picked up that dump with his heel? That was impressive!” said Hiroto. “Even if it was luck, I could never have dreamed of it.”

In sports, luck was a funny and fickle thing. By learning how to receive and moving with your team’s blocks, you increase your luck. By increasing the possibility through experience and training, it’s actually possible to be luckier. However, true luck was the woven fate that brought him to this school, and this team. There were factors like his skill and his academic scores, but what drew him to go watch Bokuto play in the first place? That was true luck. But to a certain degree, luck he had earned.

Maybe if he had chosen to stay outside and have another popsicle, his life would look completely different.

“And, y’know… I would’ve found you anyway Akaashi. Even if you weren’t on my team.”

Or maybe not.

Ridiculously, the memory brought a smile onto his face that was hard to chase away. What a bold man Bokuto was, to challenge fate itself. 

The only place where Keiji felt luck could be altered was being a year after Koutaro. Being forced to stay behind as Bokuto went ahead, making both of them wait.

While there seemed to be every type of nervous ticks on display among the students that were waiting, Koutaro didn’t seem like one of them. In fact, he was calmer than even Keiji had ever seen him. While he was barely staying afloat in his sea of doubts, Koutaro likely had nothing but solid ground beneath his feet.

With no say in the matter, he watched as Bokuto climbed the scant steps and bowed to the teachers before taking his diploma. Ready with the camera, he took a few photos which he knew Hiroto and Sora would want. If it was up to him, he would never want to see a photo of this until his own graduation. Bad enough it would be immortalised in his mind, but a physical copy? All it would be is an unnecessarily hurtful reminder. However, Akaashi knew himself, so he knew this photo would end up with him anyway.

After accepting his little tube, he tucked it into the crook of his arm as he walked up to their coach. As if sharing a single brain cell, both he and the coach jumped and did a chest bump that had a section of the audience burst into laughter. With a smile of his own, he remembered the celebration Koutaro had in his first year after his successful attack. His enthusiastic chest bump with the coach had thrown the older man off his feet when he landed on the ground. Thankfully, he had learned some restraint since then. 

For some reason, Keiji was finding it difficult to catch his breath as Bokuto turned towards the audience. Slightly fumbling with the camera, Akaashi stopped himself from gnawing at the inside of his lip as Bokuto straightened up. Despite the ventilation, there seemed to be a bead of sweat trickling down the side of his face. 

Just before Koutaro left the stage, he looked directly towards Keiji, drawing the attention of a few others as well. In the blink of an eye, the switch flipped and Koutaro wasted no time in blowing him a kiss and waving. Immediately, he felt the hawk-like eyes of the teachers honed onto him. 

Freezing in place, Keiji felt the heat spread from just his ears to his entire face. A little too quickly, Akaashi let the camera hang from the sling as he slapped his hands over his face. Around him, all five of them laughed, leading him to believe it was the perfect opportunity to disappear entirely. 

Oh god. The teachers would never let him forget this. It would likely be the only thing they would see every time in place of Akaashi’s face. 

“Well at least it wasn’t a rude gesture.” Sighed Keiji’s dad, trying to smoothen his ruffled feathers. On the other hand, his mom said nothing remotely appeasing. The way both of them were grinning… it did nothing to help. 

“You both are so cute! Gosh, this really takes me back…”

“At my college graduation, Yasu got up and cheered when I went on stage.” Chuckled Koutaro’s mom, pulling their unanimous attention.

Bokuto’s dad had always been hidden away like an old painting behind drapes. Keiji was curious of course, but Koutaro was so young at the time he could not remember much. It was not often that his sisters or mom spoke of him.

In their home, there were a few photos with him in the common areas. All three of the siblings had inherited his hair. Only Sora seemed to be relatively lanky and all sharp angles like him. While he could definitely see some of those traits in Koutaro, he and Hiroto were softer and more on the muscular side like their mother. However, his face.. most of it was from his dad. He had forgone his mother’s slender eyes, rounder cheekbones and nose for the sharp features and large eyes of his dad.

“He was a year younger than me. I couldn’t get the courage to do the same when I attended his graduation though. Sitting next to his parents, I was far too shy.”

While Bokuto’s mother’s words were inherently amusing, they only left him with a sense of profound isolation. Akaashi’s concerns on being left behind seemed almost comical in comparison. If he truly wanted to, he could still go and meet Koutaro. Bokuto’s mom, however, did not have that luxury. 

Morbidly reassured, he peeked out from between his fingers to see Hiroto and Sora leaning their heads on their mother’s shoulders. At some point they had shifted their chairs closer together, leaving more distance between them and the others. Glancing around, he found that change so stark the rigidly arranged chairs. Bokuto’s family seemed to nurture a little rebellion no matter where they were.

After Koutaro had left the stage, Keiji found his mind wandering like a lost child as the other students drifted along. Instead of keeping his eyes on the main stage, he found himself staring at the back of Bokuto’s head. Considering he was to sit for his own ceremony next year, it made no sense to focus too hard on it now. He was here for Bokuto, not himself.

And there he sat, staring in front of him, not once turning back. What was he thinking about? Was-

Out of nowhere, his phone buzzed in his pocket. Slipping it into his hands, he smiled as he saw the top notification.

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

Hey, why aren’t you singing??

It seemed Keiji truly never learned from his mistakes. He was a senseless hoarder when it came to doubts. On the other hand, Koutaro was more than eager to brush them away. Even if it wasn’t his intention to do so. 

Akaashi Keiji

I really don’t think you want to hear me sing.

It’s possible people could drop dead from it.

Should you be on your phone right now?

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

But I wanna talk to youuuuuuuu. 

You’re so meaaaaaaaaaaan. 

Akaashi Keiji

If I’m so mean, why do you want to talk to me?

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

(● ˃̶͈̀ロ˂̶͈́)੭ꠥ⁾⁾

Akaashi Keiji

You’re not gonna get this again, you know. 

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

Hey, I'm gonna see it next year too!

I’ll pay attention that time!

While Keiji had sat there mulling over how Bokuto might forget him, he sat making plans he hadn’t even thought of. Or dared to dream of. 

Akaashi Keiji

That won’t be the same.

This one's for you, that one will be for me.

So keep your eyes on the stage.

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

But I only have eyes for you right now W(`0`)W

Unable to help himself, Keiji risked a glance towards Bokuto. True to his word, he was tilted to the side, looking towards Akaashi as everyone around him looked right ahead. Sneaking a glance at his parents, they seemed to be looking at the choir on the stage and thankfully not at what their son’s boyfriend was doing. Good, since he really could not get rid of the redness on his face. 

Akaashi Keiji

Bokuto-san...

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

Woah

You’re blushing a lot

Akaashi Keiji

Please stop looking at me

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

But you look so pretty!

I don’t wanna look anywhere else ヾ(๑╹◡╹)ﾉ"

Putting down his phone, he picked up the camera once more. Without wasting a moment, he aimed it right at Bokuto, who seemed to be taken by surprise. Smiling to himself, he put down the camera as Koutaro whipped his head back towards the front.

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

You sneaky little-

Akaashi Keiji

Instant karma.

Truly so gratifying.

Please don’t make me blush in front of everyone.

Especially our parents.

Bokuto Koutaro (°◡°♡)

(´༎ຶོρ༎ຶོ`)

Okayyyy

After their brief exchange, time seemed to pass a little faster. The long snake-like line of graduates slithered by without a hitch. It seemed like the five of them around Akaashi had dipped their toes into a pool of nostalgia. They seemed to share a slightly distant look, no doubt thinking of their own graduations. Akaashi, who had never experienced one, had no idea how to feel. Well, except that hollow feeling in his chest knowing he would not see Bokuto’s face again in school after today. While he had no shortage of friends and acquaintances, there was a dread he could not dismiss. 

Shaking his head slightly, he couldn’t help but check his phone. 

No messages. 

Well that stung, but he was the one who told Bokuto to pay attention. While he wanted nothing more than to talk to him, he had to give this time to him. This was important. Akaashi didn’t mind waiting for him. 

He wondered if Kenma was in a similar state right now.

Immediately after, the small choir took the stage and began their medley. While it was composed of students from his year, they sang of friendship and shortened with nostalgia they were yet to experience. Was it possible to mourn an adventure he was yet to finish? Of course he had experienced grief countless times in books and movies. They fundamentally appealed to human nature in order to be profound. The songs, while meant for the graduates, were also for the others in their lives. Parents, siblings, and friends who would watch them move on.

Thankfully the choir had not planned too many songs, and left the stage soon after. Before most of the audience could begin wallowing in their own memories and regrets from their graduations. 

Before they knew it, everyone around him rose and began milling towards the doors. 

From past graduations, he knew that the rest of the students would get this time to say goodbye as well. No doubt the rest of the team would be there too. While the majority of their starting players were graduating, there was still a good number of them present. Not to mention the others they would get in the matter of a few weeks. 

“Come on Kei, what’re you waiting for?”

“Huh?”

Still seated, he turned to the side to find his mom was already standing. Next to him, his dad stood too, studying the crowd as it moved erratically.  While the air was brimming with excitement and anticipation, Koutaro’s family seemed to be in their own little bubble. Just like him, their eyes were still on the stage, but the three of them were lost in their own world. While he couldn’t really put his finger on it, it was definitely more melancholic than the others. 

It was not a moment he wished to disturb.

“Hey, why don’t you guys wait for a few minutes?” Suggested Akaashi, immediately springing to his feet. Carefully, he took off the camera strap from his neck and handed it to his father. “The whole team must be getting together to say goodbye to them too. I’ll go join them, you can uh... take your time.”

Following his gaze towards the Bokuto family, his dad gave him a little nod, and a pat on the shoulder for good measure. 

Gently taking the flowers from his mother, he thread his way to the door. The sun hit his face, warm despite the nippy wind which stung every inch of exposed skin. With all the students and faculty also present, the ground was far more crowded than Keiji had ever seen it.

Although he was tall, there were far too many people in his direct line of sight that hid Koutaro away. Amongst countless family members with various colours in their hair, it was no longer an extremely defining factor. Not to mention the sudden influx of students that made finding the uniform entirely redundant.