Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

If a late night in Miyagi's smallest bar is already quiet enough to hear a pin drop, imagine how loud the silence is at 2 in the morning. The bar that was once filled with chatters from teenagers exploring adult life, and laughter from old men who were re-experiencing their joyful days as youth, all toned down to a hush as the bar slowly neared its closing time.

Goshiki stares blankly at the woman in front of her, still sleeping peacefully by the island with her arms crossed to support her head. Her short, violently red hair sticks out everywhere, and her cool looking glasses perch atop of it like a bird in its nest, trying to survive should the lady move. 

Goshiki, for the past few minutes, is very much tempted to wake her regular up, however she isn't heartless either to interrupt a drunk's sleep, especially when that same drunk needs it like her whole life is depending on it. 

So all Goshiki has to do is wait . Wait for the sole person Tendou was crying about unfortunately.

She had already contacted her , despite herself being against it. Tendou strictly told her not to do so since she is the only contact Goshiki knows about, but she didn't have a choice, did she?

As much as she hated involving herself in someone else's business, Goshiki still has a house to go back to, Goshiki still has a bed to lay on.

If ever a problem occurs because of her stupid decision, well she's out of it, honestly. Yet at some point she feels sorry for both parties that made her think, maybe she was right to take matters into her own hands.

After a year of knowing Tendou, there wasn't a time that she hadn't mentioned her 'best friend's' name every time she visited the bar. There were fortunate events that she wouldn't cry while drinking, and wouldn't cry as she told Goshiki how they touched hands one time; even if it was an accident, it still mattered for Tendou. But the majority of those events were also Tendou drowning herself in alcohol, blaming herself for falling in love or, in some instance, complaining how this girl she likes a lot can't see that she actually does. Tendou said that she has shamelessly confessed whenever she gets the chance—anytime, anywhere—but that person still thought of them as jokes. 

And so Goshiki thought if Tendou's best friend is just really oblivious as fuck, or an actual idiot pretending she didn't know to protect her own heart.

Whatever the reason is as to why up until now it seems like there is no progress, Goshiki genuinely hopes for the best that the two end each other's sufferings sooner.

──────

Stuck in her thoughts, Goshiki doesn't hear the bell ringing nor does she notice the figure approaching her. And when she does, the first thing Goshiki takes note of is the stranger's olive-brown hair that reaches her shoulder blades. She’s tall too, slightly taller than Tendou though, and she is very pretty (now she understands Tendou). Although her matching dark yellowish-green eyes sparkle under the warm light of the bar, the stoic expression in her face contrasts them to which Goshiki thinks is intimidating.

She must probably be Ushijima . No doubt that isn’t her with all the numerous definitions Tendou had provided previously. Furthermore, Goshiki is certain that she placed a note on top of the open and close sign saying if they are Ushijima then they could come in and the door is not locked for them to worry about.

“Hello, were you the one who called me?” Ushijima speaks, catching Goshiki off guard. 

‘Have I been staring for too long?’ Goshiki thinks, heat rising in her cheeks. “Y-yes, that is me. Tendou had given me an order to not contact you, but she has been asleep since closing time and I can’t stay here until dawn.” She reverently explains.

Ushijima averts her gaze from Goshiki and looks beyond her where the drunkard is. Tendou hasn’t moved a bit from her position earlier.

“That seems painful,” Ushijima comments, wincing at the sight. “She’s been sitting there for two hours now?”

“I’m afraid you are correct. I refused to touch her without her consent, so I thought to leave that to you…” the bartender sighs, fidgeting with her bangs, “since she didn’t even mention other people to me that I could ask help from.”

“I understand. Thank you for taking care of her.”

Ushijima walks towards Tendou’s direction, taking her old varsity jacket off on the way to wrap it around the older woman. Goshiki watches silently as the female mutters how distressing Tendou looks, and that she should mentally scold herself to make a ban out of Tendou’s drinking habit.

It is painfully cute. How they unconsciously act like a couple. It reminds Goshiki of her own relationship before with her girlfriend, Koganegawa, a previous setter from Date Tech High’s Girls Volleyball Club.

Koganegawa is overly sweet for a partner, and yet their beginning was rough, similar to what Tendou and Ushijima have currently. During their summer camp meetings, she was dense, always misinterpreting Goshiki's advances as friendly gestures. But somehow, miraculously, Koganegawa was quicker to realize and acknowledge the truth, hence they became a couple right before graduation which was the day they could possibly split up and never see each other again.

“Satori, let’s go home.” Ushijima whispers in Tendou's ear, carefully tapping her back in hopes of waking her up. 

Tendou, thankfully, responds to her action, trying her best to pry her eyes open. She is heavily intoxicated, and the lights aren't helping either, but she instantly figures out the outlines of Ushijima's face, the familiar moles under her beautiful eyes, and her small plump lips. Holy shit . She can't help but to circle her long slim arms onto Ushijima's neck, pulling the lass closer to her.

"You came for me, Wakatoshi-chan~. I couldn't be happier." Tendou slurs, completely forgetting her childish instructions to the youngest in the room and her breakdowns a few hours ago.

Ushijima frowns at this, yet the redhead only returns an annoyingly wide smile.

"Don't ever do that again."

"The what?"

"To not come back home to me." Is the answer Ushijima gives her, and of course Tendou knows it isn’t so serious in spite of the butterflies in her stomach.

She could always leave, she basically did all the time. So why now feel so worried? As if Ushijima isn't already used to her going home late. 

'Is she suddenly afraid that I might not return this time?' Tendou thinks hazily.

But even if she does, surely Ushijima won’t find her, won’t mind the least.

She's only saying that because Tendou is under the influence of eight— nine? —tequilas which can be a factor of her emotional sensitivity. Ushijima has no choice but to lie and make her feel better, and Tendou knows that god damn well even in a drunken state.

'Yeah, right.' Tendou convinces herself.

Suddenly her mood shifts, and her eyebrows curve a little, though she tries remaining playful in front of Ushijima.

"Shut up, you'd never want me in your place. I have always annoyed you." Tendou argues, cherry lips pouted.

"Who told you that?" Ushijima wonders, smoothly removing her glasses and hanging it on to her own shirt. She knows how much Tendou loves that one among her collection, and to say it came from Ushijima as a birthday gift, makes her feel superior to the rest.

"I don't know? A wild guess?" Tendou grins sheepishly. Before Ushijima can say another word, Tendou changes her attention to Goshiki who has been blushing all throughout their interaction.

"Hi, Tsu~! You aren't so obedient, are you?" Tendou laughs, waving at the girl weakly. She raises her eyebrow when Goshiki seems unfazed, snapping her fingers to raise attention.

"I'm sorry, Tendou-san." Goshiki bows, still in a trance. 'For disobeying you, and for thinking that both of you are just as dumb as the other.' Is left unsaid.

Because no really, Goshiki could have probably ranted forever about witnessing the olive-haired girl worrying for Tendou, the latter hugging her so openly, them having their own world. At this point, Goshiki can't believe that they are not together. 

How can they just not be together? When they don't need to exert much effort to be thought of as one in a relationship.

Goshiki feels like she's been played.

By the time she raises her head, disappointment and disbelief in her eyes, Tendou already has her eyelids shut again and has fallen back to slumber in the arms of Ushijima. The said female is still emotionless as ever as she finally picks her friend up, carrying her in a bridal style.

Ushijima opens her mouth to speak, but no words come out of it as she realizes the position they are in. Goshiki swears she just saw her face change due to panic. Though the ravenette shrugs her shoulders, letting the older continue.

"How many did she intake?" Ushijima finally asks, holding Tendou firmly.

"Not the usual, I think it was around 10 or more glasses. Tendou-san isn't really a heavy drinker whenever she comes around. She would just often ask me for three to five glasses only since she's easily affected by it. But although she is aware of that, I think we both know that she's quite a menace," Goshiki smirks, "as long as she is able to taste alcohol—may it be only one sip—her day feels like it's finally complete." 

"However, I don't know if something happened or what happened between the two of you to make her step out of her limit." Adds the latter. 

Ushijima only nods at this, her grip a bit getting tighter, but then she remembers it is the very same person they are talking about she's holding, therefore softening her hold.

Yet the last sentence from Goshiki gets stuck in her mind. 'Something happened between the two of you' . Ushijima thinks about the events played earlier.

She can only be sure of Tendou showing her new shonen jump manga during breakfast, and obviously Ushijima did show her care on it. She even asked her if she could borrow it to browse more advertisements regarding kitchen tools. She also remembers that before Tendou goes off to her part time job, Tendou asks her to feed her pet dog, Torishi. And again, Ushijima did the favor.

So apparently, nothing seems to be a problem. Albeit, why is there still a feeling of guilt that lingers in Ushijima's heart? And if she's being honest, it bothers and hurts her like a bitch.

Uneasy, Ushijima snaps herself out of her thoughts, deciding it's best to bid good bye now. They have already stayed for too long, plus if there is one thing that could remove this stupid unnecessary guilt, it is to confront the redhead as soon as possible especially while she is still drunk. Drunk people usually speak the truth so the opportunity is too good to waste.

"Very well, we shall go now so you can go home as well. I know you are very tired from shouldering Tendou's shenanigans." Ushijima says, dipping her head a little to resemble a bow.

As she is about to reach the doors, Goshiki speaks again, making her stop.

“Ushijima-san, I know it's not my place to say this… but please hear her out.” 

Ushijima gives her a small smile at this, "Don't worry, I always do."

Goshiki simply nods as a reply, a little relieved, a little worried still. Once Ushijima single-handedly opens the handle, and off they go. Sadness is written all over her face, as if she can't buy Ushijima's words unless she actually sees them in action herself.

If there is a question etched on Goshiki's mind until she was able to fully close the bar. It is what Ushijima truly feels for Tendou Satori. 

Goshiki isn't a naturally nosy person, but then Tendou came into her life unexpectedly, and admit it or not Goshiki sees Tendou as a best friend she never had during junior high school. Tendou, she really is something, the fact that Goshiki is a mere stranger but she already feels comfortable with the younger lass. She tells her own struggles on love, sometimes she tells her about her work's bossy manager. There are other times of course, that she'd go talk about herself wherein she kept on saying about wanting to dye her hair black. Tendou actually tells her literally anything.

Hence, even if Tendou doesn't think that way about her, Goshiki wants to pry, Goshiki wants to know more about Ushijima. Because she cares a lot for Tendou more than she knows. 

The least thing she could do as someone who is far acquainted with the redhead is basically decipher whatever goes inside that stone-faced woman's brain, and if she ever does reciprocate the feelings, then Goshiki could end Tendou's suffering in one statement:

"She likes you too, Tendou-san."

But based on what happened a while ago, Goshiki also learns that the two of them might still have a chance without the need of her interfering. And that maybe Ushijima isn't really dense, just perhaps afraid. For how could she have acted that way if she didn't like Tendou, right?

So maybe, just maybe, this morning is the moment when they will both finally muster up the courage to tell what they truly feel for each other.

Chapter Text

"Toshi… Wakatoshi…" Tendou mumbles from her sleep, alerting Ushijima who is walking very slowly currently.

Unfortunately, they had to walk a few slabs since other cars had already taken up the parking spaces left at the sidestreet. Ushijima's car was at the very end, in front of a bakery that sells one of the best cinnamon rolls at Miyagi. Back in high school, Ushijima and her team would buy them often because of Semi (their setter) since she liked the bread very much.

Ushijima drags her gaze at the half conscious redhead. She will wake up any second by now, but Ushijima hasn't reached her car yet. 

Truth be told, she wishes to stay like this with the older a little longer. Not that she and Tendou don’t often have moments where it is just the two of them, but rather she appreciates the rare cold and silent night with the girl she longs for in her arms. Because despite having a shared apartment together, Ushijima rarely basks in Tendou’s presence without anyone interrupting them.

Just like one time when Tendou called in for a movie day, Ushijima thought that it was exclusive for her and the redhead only, yet it ended up with Ushijima being sandwiched between Tendou’s friends from college. Another incident is when Tendou and her were having dinner, the former’s dog accidentally became sick and needed to be rushed to the hospital. And so, if both of them are actually free and Ushijima sometimes comes along with a plan to ask her for a hangout like the old times, Tendou would somehow have ‘other places’ to be.

Ushjima mentally sighs at recalling all these events.

“Was it that really hard to be with you?” Ushijima thinks.

Instead of saying something that could potentially wake Tendou up, Ushijima remains to shut her mouth and ignores her, walking a bit faster now.

"Toshi, bring… down… please." She continuously whispers, hoping her quiet pleas will actually convince the younger to be in her favor.

"No." Ushijima only says. It wasn’t stoic, nor was it strict. 

Tendou flutters her eyes wide open, strawberry irises meeting olive ones. She stares hard at the woman carrying her, uselessly persuading Ushijima to drop her to the ground.

"I said put me down." Tendou repeats, now fully awake out of annoyance. Her words are still slurry, and Ushijima nearly laughs at her.

"Stop being stubborn and stay still."

"No you stop being stubborn!" The redhead shouts, squirming from her grasp. 

Unfortunately for her, Ushijima doesn't plan on letting go.

"You can't even speak properly. How can you convince me to let you walk?" Ushijima retorts back softly, a small smirk appearing on her face as she sees her car's outline from a distance.

Tendou only manages to stick her tongue out.

Once they do reach Ushijima's car, Tendou finds herself at the back of it, gently settled. 

"You can continue your sleep here. Just let me know if you are not feeling better so I could pull off to the nearest gasoline station." Ushijima tells her. She carefully leans in, adjusting her jacket to fully cover Tendou. 

“God, she is too close.” The older gulps, swiftly retracting her head away from Ushijima. Gladly, the light coming from the bakery was quite far and dim for the crippling blush of her cheeks not to be seen. Oh, she will perish if Ushijima notices her face’s unusual redness.

She is too occupied to even notice that her friend is already on the driver’s seat, starting the car. Even the warmth of her skin makes Tendou capable of handling the cool air that blew out of the aircon, and for someone who’s bad at dealing with the cold, a jacket would still not have helped in her situation… except it just does now, for how stupidly distracted and drunk Tendou is.

Silence. 

The ride back home is too quiet and yet they still have not reached the end of it. Tendou did in fact fall asleep, or so she believes. Maybe it’s because she's not expecting Ushijima to actually pull by near a convenience store.

“What are we doing here? It’s nearly half the morning.” Tendou asked roughly. Great. Now her voice is about to die down.

“I thought it’s a good idea to get you water and meds to help for tomorrow.” Ushijima answers. “Wait here.”

Tendou raises a brow. “No, I’m coming with you.”

“As expected, she always checks my medicine kit.” Tendou slaps her forehead.

“Are you sure you can get up?”

“Don’t baby me. I’ve sobered up enough of my lovely sleep.” 

The younger hesitates, before sighing and signalling her to get off the backseat.

Once they enter the store, Tendou immediately goes to the chocolate section, her eyes scanning immediately to where her favorite brand is.

“You like that?” Ushijima appears from behind, a bottle of water in her hand.

“Yeah, helps to keep me sane at least.” Tendou chuckles. “You won’t pick anything for yourself, Toshi?” 

“I’m good,” the latter says, “you’re my priority.”

Tendou stops from looking around the area. She can feel her ears heating up. “There she goes again and her fluttering words with no actual meaning. You’re just a friend, remember that, Satori.”

“Alright.” Tendou mutters before grabbing a bar. She then leaves to pay for it while the other trails behind.

After getting all the things they need, Ushijima ushers them back to the car. However, Tendou doesn’t speak another word since their conversation in the store. 

“Are we okay?” Ushijima asks genuinely. She is in fact worried about earlier. Did she say something bad?

Tendou thinks twice. The next few words she’ll ask may or may not change the course of their friendship forever. How Ushijima will take it as is, could either ruin it or reveal something that has been hidden for a very long time.

“Do you think we’re okay?”

She says it softly. As if she just wants this day to end. Perhaps her feelings to be honest. She wants this lingering pain of loving Ushijima to finally end.

So she can move on.

So she can be free.

“We are, aren’t we?” Her friend replies, all with nothing but truth and her own belief.

But Tendou, who knows Ushijima longer than anyone, hates to prolong the way the latter always pretends everything is fine, sugarcoating her words with her neverending monotony.

“Wrong. That’s where you’re fucking wrong.”

Ushijima’s eyes widened. “What?”

“Wow, how dense can you just be?!” Tendou screams. “Why can’t you see that I am suffering because of you?!”

She’s hurting so much. 

“Everyday, I always find a way to make sure you know. That it’s not just a silly joke the way I express my feelings for you.” Tendou cries, her hand gripping the ends of Ushijima’s jacket, tears starting to form in her eyes before one by one they fall. “Yet you always dismiss it as if I was playing a prank on you. I know I’m fond of clowning other people, it’s where I am good at. I am the life of a party with my words turned into a laughingstock, but why would I make funny skits of my emotions — of my heart that couldn’t stop beating for a foolish woman like you!”

"You're…just drunk." Ushijima carefully tells her off, taking a quick glance at the rear mirror where she sees the redhead whining, one side of her jacket off of her shoulder, exposing her pale skin. Her own heart betrays her as it beats wildly as if it is about to explode. 

"No, god no! How many times should I have to tell you that I am really fucking in love with you?!" Tendou says, closing her eyes as she feels a stabbing pain in her chest. “Does it really not matter to you? Am I just really nothing to you but as a friend?!”

Tendou’s sobs echo, her tears won’t stop staining her cheeks. “A friend that always sticks to you until the end of our volleyball career as her personal blocker? A friend that calls her every weekend during college to ask how life’s going and so that they don’t lose contact? A friend that bought an apartment with her so they would not have to worry about being apart? A friend that does literally anything for the satisfaction and happiness of you? A friend that always leaves and cries in a bar because she realizes these things are beyond what she should do because she and that important person of hers have their own different lives and must be lived separately?!”

“I…” Ushijima fumbles, as if she’s trying to still hold back herself. “It’s not how it is.”

Tendou looks at her through the mirror with disbelief in her eyes. “Then what? Tell me, Toshi. How is it supposed to be then?”

Without another word, Ushijima gets out of the car, making her way to the back where Tendou is. Luckily, she mindlessly left it unlocked which gave Ushijima the access. Tendou was not even given a chance to understand what’s happening before she feels the arms of the younger embracing her.

And then she hears the muffled snivels.

For the first time, Tendou witnesses Ushijima cry.

“I didn’t think I deserve you.” Ushijima whispers, soft sobs following her words.

“W-what…” Tendou utters in disbelief.

“I never meant it to sound it that way, but I don’t know how else to fully grasp your confessions,” she admits, “I always felt like you were just pitying me the day we met and until now… for you to love me, a woman who’s heartless and future-driven, is barely possible.”

Tendou’s heart shatters at the younger’s words. All this time… no.

“Care to explain further why you think I was just pitying you?” Tendou asks gently. She won’t be haste and would just jump to a conclusion, at least with this, she gets to know why Ushijima thinks otherwise of her intentions.

“I was a loner.” Ushijima finally answers. “When we were kids, we used to play outside, and there we met each other in the park. I only have a ball in hand as my sole companion, you, on the other hand, have tons of other children circling around you as if you were their leader. I admit that I was very quiet, and socializing was not something I am fond of, so I already expected no one would come for me. Everyone, even in my household, did once not think of approaching me thinking it was just normal to be by myself, but for a kid in that age, one could only assume the loneliness she must have felt. No one bothered to feel for me. Until you… came.”

Ushijima raises her head to meet the other’s red eyes, now they look even more like crystals which she has always adored. “With your bright yellow sundress, you introduced yourself, and invited yourself to play with me despite not knowing anything about my sport. So why after that, you stayed? Why bothered following me until high school? Why bothered looking for me after we parted ways? Why did you go through lengths for me? Why are you still here?”

Tendou finally reflects her gaze, before taking a deep breath. 

“It’s because I see you, and I feel you.” Tendou caresses Ushijima’s cheek. “And no it was never about pity as you think it is, but the moment I laid my eyes on you, I knew I wanted to bond with you. I introduced myself with the hopes of making friends and that I was so encouraged by my belief that it would last long. Because deep inside, I am also just a loner.”

Ushijima’s eyes widened.

“You wouldn’t think a weird girl like me would be favored by many, would you?” She smiles. “You were the only person who was capable of seeing through me, and you could have stopped from there, yet you gradually learned more than what I intended to share.”

Tendou raises Ushijima’s chin, her gaze never leaving the other. “I’m sorry that I never did once ask how you truly felt, for that I accept my wrong.”

“I love you so much, Toshi.” She mentions again, her voice cracking. “I really do, and I hope you finally realize now how much you mean to me.”

Without a word, Ushijima leans in, before feeling her lips crash on to Tendou’s. They start slowly, making second thoughts whether what they are doing is right, but at this point nothing really matters anymore. They don’t care as the salty taste of their tears mix between their mouths, but rather to connect as one feels more important.

Ushijima lets go, catching her breath, before whispering, “I love you too. I’m sorry for hiding it. I hate the idea of losing you.” 

“You really think I’d leave you after knowing the woman I love also loves me back. Aren’t you always silly?” Tendou chuckles, her heart can finally rest easy. 

“Well, I’d rather feel fear than nothing at all. I guess it is to prove that my emotions aren’t simply a sign of confusion.” Ushijima mutters, her eyes travelling once more just to be fixated on Tendou’s cherry lips. She gives it a soft peck, and then another, until she sucks it in, letting her tongue be familiarized with how the older tastes which the latter gladly accepts. They kiss in sync and what seems forever before finally deciding they can just continue it for the rest of the day after.

“Thank you for being finally honest with me, Toshi.” Tendou says, planting a quick kiss on the younger’s forehead.

“No, thank you for being patient. I know it’s tiring to wait and my mix signals aren’t helping. I wanted to be sure, and I am grateful that I am now.” Ushijima counters. She hides her face on Tendou’s shoulders before asking, “Uhm… does this mean we are dating?”

Tendou laughs wholeheartedly. “Yes, yes we are. I wouldn’t want to waste anymore time, my answer will always lead straight into you.”

“Now, let’s go home.”