Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Izuku midoriya is just an average fourteen-year-old. He loves music, skateboarding, and video games! Overall, a normal teen, right?

yeah, no. his pastime actually is annoying the fuck out of Eraserhead and other police officers.

"CATCH ME IF YOU CAN ERASERDICK!" Jinx (aka izuku) screams from on top of a hotel.

Eraserhead sighs deeply, "kid, just turn yourself in. I'm too tired for this shit."

Oh yeah, did I mention he's a vigilante? yup, that's important.

in his defense, they didn't mean to become a vigilante. it all started when he stopped some old hag from robbing someone, then he saved some other people, then police officers gave him a name based on how unlucky everyone is after he beats them up, then the public found out about him and now he has thousands of jinx x reader stories (did he make some? hell yeah, but he's gonna take that secret to the grave.)

does he regret becoming a vigilante? fuck no! well actually, maybe he regrets it a tiny bit because now he's in online school thanks to him not wanting to explain to the teachers why he's asleep on the desk 98% of the time. but it's okay now because he can wake up whenever the fuck he wants and he doesn't have kacch- bakugo being a dick to him!

anyways, where were we? oh right, annoying the shit out of Aizawa!

"Nah, I'm fine up on this roof!"

"kid, I just wanna talk." oh? that's a new one.

"as long as you don't handcuff me, ill talk," Jinx replies, oddly serious and Eraserhead nods as the teen falls down from the roof and landing on his feet.

"Shock absorption is great, isn't it eraser-san!"

Eraserhead rolls his eyes, "don't call me that. brat."

"ughhh fine. ill go back to eraserdick. anyways what do ya wanna talk about?" He replies, sitting on the sidewalk and taking out some taiyaki.

"Well for one, I need to know more about yo-"

"awww is this a date?!"

"no. and I have a boyfriend dumbass."

"Meh, worth a shot." Jinx shrugs his shoulders. "Anyways as you know, I'm Jinx, I'm 14 and I use he/they! mess up my pronouns and ill mess up your knees."

Eraserhead chokes on air, "your fucking fourteen?!"

"wait you didn't know?!" Jinx falls over laughing leaving a stunned Eraserhead standing on the sidewalk.

"kid, 80% of the times we've met was when you were drunk-"

"Okay, that was like one time." Jinx tries to defend themself but fails.

"what about that one time at daycare? or the tree? or when you slammed into the door? or wh-"

"OKAY OKAY JESUS CHRIST! maybe I do have a problem, so what?"

"We just wanna help you, jinx. can you contact your parent's a-"

"not that she's gonna care." They mutter expecting Eraser not to hear but unfortunately, he does.

"wait what do you mea-" Eraser head tries to reply but gets cut off by a nervous-looking jinx.

"nope gotta go eraser, nice talking to ya!" He quickly says, running up one of the fire escapes on a rusted-down apartment building before flying across buildings again.

Chapter Text

Izuku midoriya was a kind kid. (keyword, was.)

He always faced everyone with a smile, no matter how tough it gets!

but then he fucking snapped.

"yo Deku! if you want a quirk so bad, jump off the roof of the building and pray you'll be born with a quirk in your next life!" Bakugo sneers at the short thirteen-year-old who is holding back tears till he isn't. no, bakugo doesn't stop looking at him or Deku doesn't start crying, Deku stops smiling and looks bakugo right in the eyes.

"yknow what bakugo? ill take you up on that offer," he says as a maniac grin crosses across his face, and starts running up to the roof leaving a stunned bakugo standing in the doorway.

"i-wait what?!" Bakugo screams, running up after the green-haired kid. he bursts the door open and stares open-mouthed at his ex-best friend standing on the ledge without his shoes.

Izuku sighs, "well, goodbye kacchan." and he falls backward to the ground.

--

Izuku wakes up with a gasp, running a hand through his hair.

oh yeah, it was just a shitty dream.

he gets out of bed and flicks through his phone, trying to see if there is any notifications from anything.

--

7:38
Discount pinky pie: yo Midori r u awake?

greeeen: I am now, whats up?

discount pinky pie: are u gonna try out for support?

greeeen: yhe what

discount pinky pie: aRE U STIPID?!>,.,<.!#THE SUPPORT CLASS AT UA!

greeeen: meh, I gave up on going to ua

discount pinky pie: OH FUCK NO U ARE NIT BAILING ON ME RN I SAW HWAT U DID WYTH THOS E INVETIONS OF URS U GOTTA COME WITY ME PLZ IZUKU

greeeen: FINE FINE MEET ME OUTSIDE MY HOUSE

discount pinky pie: YAY :D

--

Mei hatsume, (aka @discount pinky pie) izuku and her met when izuku was on patrol and they have been friends ever since! Mei has a bit of a....loud personality but that's fine.

Izuku quickly puts his messy hair in a bun, slips on some shoes and a hoodie with a band he hopes no one looks up and runs out the door.

he waits there for about a minute before he hears a car going WAYYY past the speed limit, zooming down and stoping in front of him.

Mei rolls down the windows of her bright pink car "Get in loser!"

"WHERE DID YOU GET A FUCKING CAR!"

"I stole it from my sis and I fixed it up but hurry up we gotta go!" She pulls the short teen in the car and presses a shit ton of buttons, starting up the radio and laughing when a stupidly loud version of wap comes on.

"DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO DRIVE?!"Izuku yells, looking for a seat belt but there i s n t a f u c k i n g s e a t b e l t.

"NOPE BUT THATS FINE!" Mei replies and stomps on the gas, sending them flying up the road.

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Izuku stumbles out of the car, "mei, I love ya, but never ever fucking drive again."

Mei pouts, "I wasn't that bad!"

"you ran over a fucking bird. birds are supposed to be in the damn sky!"

"it was in my way!"

"IT WAS IN THE SKY-" Izuku yells, bumping into someone and falling on top of them.

"Ah- shit I'm sorry." Izuku jumps up from the purple-haired boy.

"... it's fine." He grumbles, rubbing the back of his head.

"STOP THE CHITCHAT! ANYWAYS HI PURPLE BOY! My name is Mei Hatsume, future CEO of Hatsume Industries. You can call me Mei, and this is izuku midoriya! we are gonna try out for the support course- WAIT ARE YOU ALSO GOING TO SUPPORT?" Mei gasps and izuku cant help but eyeroll.

"mei-mei, calm yourself. your gonna scare him off."

"Oh yeah! sorry, Mr purple dude!" Mei says, not looking at all sorry.

"ignore her, she just has a shit ton of energy-"

"HEY!" she whines.

"It's okay, anyway I'm shinso Hitoshi and yes, I am going to suppor-"

"OH. MY. GOD. IZU DO YA HEAR THAT?!?!?"

"Yes mei, I can now calm down-"

"I DONT NEED TO- I don't need to calm down" mei replies, putting her hands on her hips.

"guys we gotta go we're gonna be late." Shinso interrupts their arguing to point at his phone showing that they only had five minutes to get to class and they run up the stairs.

--

Powerloader was having a great day, well he was till three teenagers ran into his class.

"HEY, HEY! WE ARE HERE FOR THE SUPPORT CLASS THING!" The girl with the pink hair screams.

"ah okay, well there is a table over there so you can uh..do stuff." Powerloader nerviously replies. why was he nervous? well for one, the green kid had merch on from a fucking rock band that no one around his age should know about, The purple one had eyebags worse then aizawa and was nerviously picking at his sleeve and the pink one has these big ass goggles and is practically bouncing on her way to the table.

"come on izu lets make some babies!"

what the fuck did she just say.

Chapter Text

Izuku, Mei, and Hitoshi all start working on "babies" (as mei calls them) and by the time lunchtime starts they have only blown up the class 5 times! All in all, not that bad.

"kids, for the love of fucking god, go get some lunch. please." Powerloader sighs, shielding themself from another mini-explosion thanks to shinso's "new and improved" mask blowing up after one try.

"awe but I'm not done with my babies!" Mei whines, rubbing away some dust from her tanned face.

"Y-you can come back later and stuff." Powerloader replies and mei immediately lights up.

"Alright losers let's go!" Mei grabs the two boys and pulls them along to the cafeteria as powerloader lets out a sigh of relief.

this was gonna be a long ass year.

--

Mei, izuku and shinso all sit calmly enjoying their lunch before mei pipes up. "OH OH WAIT! WE SHOULD LEARN MORE 'BOUT EACH OTHER SO WE CAN BE LIKE, BEST FRIENDS!"

Izuku nods his head excitedly, "Okay! you start mei!"

"Okay!! My name is Mei Hatsume, I use she/her and I'm a lesbian! I love pre-quirk era artists like doja cat and I also like shows like bill nye!" Mei grins, pointing at izuku for his turn.

"OK OK, I'm Izuku Midoriya, I use he/they, and I'm pan. Also if you know who this band is on my hoodie, we are friends for fucking life."

"uhh ok, I'm Shinso Hitoshi I use he/it, and I'm gay." He does some over-exaggerated jazz hands and izuku can't help but snort, "also, I know that band izuku."

Izuku practically jumps out of his seat about to reply to his friend but then gets cut off by a way to familiar scream.

"SON OF A MOTHER FUCKIN BITCH, DEKU?!" Bakugo screams, jumping on top of the green-haired teen.

"ah, hey kacchan." izuku replies casually like he's totally not being pinned down by a really fucking pissed bakugo.

"WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?"

"I've been in online school dummy."

"You tried to fucking kill yourself in front of me!"

"damn, so you care now?"

"whAT nO WHY WOULD I CARE ABOUT YO-" Bakugo tries to defend himself as his voice breaks.

Izuku hums for a second before saying, "I do remember you crying as I was being brought into the ambulance."

"BECAUSE YOU ALMOST DI-"

"AWWW YOU DO CARE!"

Chapter Text

"WHAT THE FUCK NO I DON'T!" Bakugo yells, getting off of izuku.

"YEAH, YOU DO DON'T EVEN TRY AND DENY IT."

"AUGH SHUT THE FUCK UP."

"NEVER!"

"SHUT UPPPP"

"NO-" Izuku tries to say but then stops when he feels a scarf around him.

"if you two dumbasses don't stop you will be expelled." Aizawa glares at the two teens as the color drains out of izuku's face.

Eraserhead is here. he's gonna get caught. FUC-

"well then Deku, why the fuck are you at ua?" Bakugo says deathly quiet.

"I'm at the support course idiot." Izuku somehow manages to flip him off even though he has a scarf wrapped around him.

"tch, fine. just stay outta my way." Bakugo grumbles once Aizawa lets them go.

"that's what I was trying to do," Izuku mumbles sitting back up in his seat with mei and shinso as they look at him with wide eyes and jaws basically at the floor.

"...what?"

"dude, what the actual fuck." Shinso stares at him.

"huh??" Izuku replies honestly confused.

"that kacchan bitch just pinned you to the ground, yelled at you for trying to commit suicide, and calls you Deku?!"

"oh no that's just how he is. we've been friends since I was a little baby."

"I don't think that's how friends are supposed to act," Mei says tiredly and izuku does a so-so motion with his hands and tries to say something but then something gets thrown on him. wait. that's not a fucking something, that's a FUCKING PERSON-

"what the fuck dude!" The blonde-haired boy yells at the group of people that izuku thinks thrown him.

"STAY OUTTA OUR WAY COPYCAT!"

"I JUST WANTED TO EAT MY LUNCH!"

The group throws what izuku thinks is the teen's lunch and he catches it with one hand. "WELL EAT SOMEWHERE ELSE YOU QUIRKLESS FUCK!"

"I'M NOT EVEN QUIRKLESS!" He yells.

"YOU FUCKING STEAL QUIRKS! WE DON'T WANNA HANG AROUND WITH SOMEONE LIKE YOU!"

"that's not how my quirk works," he mutters but then jumps up when he sees izuku underneath him.

"ohmygodimsofuckingsorry-" He quickly gets up and starts bowing at them

"It's fine don't worry!"

"fuck I'm sorry ill go now-"

"NO NO DON'T GO LET'S HAVE LUNCH TOGETHER!" Mei grabs the teen's arm and forcibly makes him sit down.

"....ok." he hesitantly opening his bag and taking out some onigiri.

"So blonde boy, what's your name?" Mei says happily kicking her feet.

"Oh, it's monoma neito."

"Cool name!" She does a thumbs up and izuku can't help but roll his eyes, "I'm mei hatsume, future CEO of Hatsume Industries, And this is Hitoshi shinso and izuku midoriya!" They both give a little wave.

"So Monoma-kun, what class are you in?"

"Oh, I'm in gen." He says tiredly, "I was trying out for 1-A but apparently I'm really fucking unlucky."

"Same! except I went to the support class instead." Shinso explains and something lights up in monoma's eyes.

"Is it too late to join?"

Chapter Text

and so, after a half an hour of begging nedzu, monoma got switched from general to the support class!

"This is gonna be so fucking fun!" Mei yells excitedly hugging her new friend from behind

"I know right!" Monoma says excitedly as izuku and hitoshi nod agreeing with them.

"I dont know if i should be concerned or impressed because of how easy it is for mei to get friends." hitoshi shudders as the group walks into their class. They go to the table and start working on their projects before hitoshi whispers to izuku.

"hey dude, how are you gonna work out being a vigilante while also being at school?"

Izuku spits out his drink (thats totally not half alcohol) before whispering "W-WHAT?!"

"Wait you didnt know i know?" Hitoshi asks and snorts when izuku shakes his head.

"Heh, it was obvious. Same height, attitude, and shitty humour."

"wait does blondie know?!" Izuku asks and monoma laughs hard, like fucking maniac level laugh.

"I always knew." He rolls his eyes and izuku stares at him wide eyed.

"Is it that obvious!?"

"hell yeah." mei, Hitoshi and Monoma all say in sync.

"fuck i gotta work on that." izuku mutters, trying to take a sip of his drink before mei takes it and takes a sip.

"...dude. what the fuck is this?" mei stares at him once shes done and izuku cant help but break into a nervous sweat.

"its uh, beer mixed with monster, red bull, coffee, sparkling water, and five hour energy?" he says nervously

"..when's the last time you got sleep?"

"....a week ago-"

"A FUCKING WEEK AGO?!?!?'" Mei yells and izuku laughs nervously.

"Its not that ba-"

"NOPE! THATS IT. IM TAKING AWAY YOUR COFFEE PRIVILEGES!" Mei yells firmly and runs down to a shelf so she can put the heart attack juice somewhere the 5'4 gremlin cant get his hands on.

"NOOOOO I NEED IT!!" Izuku whines and glares at his two new friends as they start laughing hysterically.

"No. you are not gonna drink that shit." Mei rolls her eyes and lightly punches the green haired teen in the arm.

"Can we atleast do something with it?? that shit way a lot of money and i dont wanna waste it." Izuku grumbles, putting his arms around his chest as lightbulbs light up in mei's eyes.

"do you know where some nitroglycerin is?"

Chapter Text

Aizawa would say hes a nice and rational teacher. he cares for everyone of his students (well, except for the grape one, but thats reasonable) even if he's only been with some of them for a day! 

but when bakugo asks him to come to the support course after class he's confused as fuck.

"your saying for me to basically look after you while you visit some kid in the support class?"

"his not just some kid-"

"is he your crush?"

bakugo goes red instantly, "W-WHAT NO?!"

Aizawa rolls his eyes at his students denial and then says "well then why do i need to come with you?"

bakugo hesitates, "its the kid from lunch."

Aizawa blinks in surprise, oh that kid.

theres something about that kid that seems so ...familiar. like he's seen him somewhere. he kinda reminds him of jinx

"oh, i see." aizawa sighs and tiredly rubs his eyes, "fine, i'll come with you. but if you fight i'll send you down with the rat go- i mean, principal nedzu." he explains and bakugo nods, letting out a sigh of relief.

---

Aizawa and bakugo walk in silence while they walk to the support class.

sure, aizawa has heard from powerloader that they can be a bit...wild at times, but they are kids! how bad can they be?

bakugo puts his hand on the door knob and at that exact moment, someone from the inside screams "TAKE COVER!" 

The door explodes, sending bakugo flying back and aizawa ducking out of the way. Aizawa looks up to see a panicking green kid and an in awe purple kid standing right besides bakugo.

yknow what? fuck this shit. 

aizawa silently stands up and walks back to the teachers lounge 

Chapter Text

"KACCHAN?!" Izuku yells in horror.

"who the hell is kacchan and why the hell is this emotionally constipated bozo doing here." hitoshi says in a monotone voice choosing to ignore the voice in his head that thinks that hes hot.

"THATS BAKUGO! THE KID FROM LUNCH??!" Izuku replies and the puzzle pieces connect in hitoshi's head instantly.

"hes kinda hot when hes not yelling." hitoshi grumbles, hoping izuku doesn't hear but he does. 

"what?"

"what?"

katsuki gets up and screams "WHAT IN THE FUCKING NAME OF GOD WAS THAT!?"

"KACCHAN YOUR ALIVE!" Izuku yells, running up and hugging the teen instantly.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME DEKU!"

"NO!" Izuku says in a teasing tone and gets instantly pushed off by katsuki.

"oh and also, troll hair boy?" katsuki points at hitoshi, "your not my type so fuck off."

hitoshi sighs, "it was worth a shot."

Mei walt's out of the classroom with monoma right behind her and yells "Wow! Who would've thought that beer mixed with monster, red bull, coffee, sparkling water, and five hour energy and some nitroglycerin could blow up the hole class!"

"of course it would, nitroglycerin blows basically anything up after it hits 218 °C or 424 °F, you dumbass." katsuki grumbles, whipping away some of the extra explosive dust from his cheek and everyone in the support class stares at him.

"...why the fuck yall staring at me." 

"how do you know that?"

"my palms create nitroglycerin-like shit and i had to learn about it." bakugo mutters as everyone nods their head, "anyways can i talk to de- midoriya. alone?"

Izuku raises an eyebrow, "..ok?"

"alright, just dont start a fight." hitoshi mutters.

"or kiss." monoma adds as katsuki and izuku's cheeks turn a bright shade of pink.

"or confess your love to each other!" mei says with a smirk, earning a whack on the side of the head by hitoshi.

Chapter Text

Izuku and katsuki walk out of the support class in awkward/"what the hell am i gonna say" silence listening as monoma and mei sing doja cat songs and hitoshi rethinking all his life choices in the distance.

"so i- uhm, fuck." katsuki sighs, running a hand through his hair.

"take your time babe i can wait." Izuku replies and katsuki blushes a deep shade of pink.

"i..i uh shit how the fuck do i say this. im s-sorry." ok, what the FUCK?!,? "I was a bitch to you ever since we were kids and i-i fucking told you to kill yourself! I was such a bitch to you that you could've fucking died and it would've been my fault! I told you to kill yourself, bullied you for years, and told you that you couldn't be a boy when we were kids! So, i-im sorry for everything i've done up till no-" Katsuki says but doesn't get to finish because izuku runs up to him and hugs him.

Izuku tries to say something but then gets cut off by the bell, "SHIT I DONT WANT A BUNCH OF EXTRAS TO SEE ME CRYING!" Katsuki yells and pushes him and izuku into an open locker but the thing they didn't notice is how there is also someone in this locker.

"bakugo why the fuck are you in my locker." an unfamiliar voice says.

"FUCKING ICYHOT?"

"icyhot? more like icythot-" izuku tries to say but gets pushed further into the locker.

"bakugo, todoroki, and the green kid why are you in a locker." aizawa sighs opening the door and all three boys fall out on top of each other.

"oh hi eraserhead sir!" izuku replies with a grin after accidentally punching todoroki in the face.

"i swear to god if you caused this-"

"it was me." izuku and katsuki both say at the same time.

"ok but why the hell were you in my locke-" todoroki tries to say but gets cut off by a very very bass boosted sonic the hedgehog intro and the support class singing it while riding down the hall on a cart.

"GOTTA GO FASTER FASTER FA-" they sing but then crash into todoroki's locker. 

"all of you go to the principals office, now." aizawa sighs walking back to his class leaving a beat up mei, monoma, and hitoshi, a very flustered bakugo, a chaotic green gremlin and a very confused todoroki in the hall.

Chapter Text

and so, after one eternity of convincing todoroki to get out of the hallway, the six of them walk all the way to nedzu's office.

upon further investigation of pure curiosity, shoto todoroki is nothing like izuku imagined him to be. he imagined a momma's boy, goes by the rules, social awkward shy dude.

but todoroki is the fucking exact opposite.

he's a petty, sarcastic, little shit (thats totally not high as the damn clouds)! Sure, the social awkwardness is still there but thats burryed under his winged eyeliner.

they walk into the devi- nedzu's office only to see three teens their age sitting on some chairs.

"sero, kaminari, and ashido?" todoroki asks and the blonde one jumps out of his chair.

"swEET  M O T H E R  FUCKING MARY!" Jumping nearly three feet in the air, Kaminari squeals and sero starts laughing next to them, "DONT GO JUMPING UP ON ME WHAT THE HELL 'ROKI!"

"sorry." todoroki apologizes but doesnt look sorry what so ever, "anyways why yall here?"

"they are high on campus!" Nedzu says with a grin, spinning around in his chair.

"WE ARENT!" Ashido whines and todoroki starts cackling.

"OH SHUT IT MR. "IM GONNA SKIP CLASS TO SMOKE" I KNOW YOU AINT TALKING!" Sero points a finger at the pale teen and he puts a hand on his chest.

"WHATTT??? I WOULD NEV-"

"if you all are done, i need to speak with midoriya!" Nedzu says with a grin and the teens (minus izuku) shuffle out the door sending one last pitiful look at their friend.

once the door shuts izuku says immediately, "Look, if its anything to do with my shirt i can change i-"

"nonsense! though it is a bit concerning someone as young as you knows about that band, thats not what i want to discuss with you about!" Nedzu explains and izuku hesitantly nods his head, "i need to talk to you about your, well in other words your problem. before you ask, yes i do know that your jinx but it doesnt involve me and you arent getting hurt on patrol so im fine with it. but i am talking about the drinking thing.

"how do you know about that?"

"im a genius obviously!" Nedzu explains and izuku nods his head in understanding. "i know about how addiction to anything is hard to get over, but it will cause long term damages to your heath! as your teacher and principal i am telling you that you should take some time and reconsider chugging that vodka you have in your left pocket after class." Nedzu sighs and izuku nods. 

"A-are you gonna tell anyone about this?" Izuku hesitantly asks after waiting a minute to process this information.

"Of course not! As long as you dont put yourself at risk anymore or get into trouble, then you secret is safe with me and your friends!"

Izuku sputters, "How do y- actually never mind."

"Now go along now!" Nedzu says and izuku nods before walking out the door.

humans are truly fascinating.

Chapter Text

---

Copy machine: dude where tf is izu?? i wanna play smash with him :/

Discount pinky pie: i think he's out doing his hobby thing yknow

Copy machine: Ah gotcha

kacchan: what the fuck are you guys talking about

Discount pinky pie: oh yeah! i forgot bakuhoe was here!

kacchan: WHAT THE FUCK DID U JUST CALL ME?!

Discount pinky pie: u heard me >:D

kacchan: your dead.

system: kacchan is offline.

Copy machine: its actually you're*

insomniac: shit ur totally dead

Discount pinky pie: :(

Izuku puts the chat on mute and puts on his black and green hoodie, spiked boots, and grabs his bat before silently ducking out of the window. 

you must be saying, "why not just go out the damn window?" and here is my answer: no.

he runs around the town, stopping some petty fights and help some drunk dudes cross the road. overall, peaceful night. that was till it hit exactly 2 o'clock and he runs to where he's supposed to meet Aizawa.

izuku jumps down from the fire escape and lands right next to the hobo teacher. "STICKED THE LANDING BOO-YAH!"

"your late problem child." Aizawa sighs.

"It was only like, a minute!"

"it was ten."

"so?? I'm fine. now tell me about the hero course brat- students!" Izuku sits down with a grin.

Aizawa sighs, "they are your age."

"so? they're still brats."

"they're fine. one's really loud, four are stoners, another is a perv, and another one is shipping me and my coworkers and betting which one is a top or a bottom."

"I wanna be friends with all of them! well except the perv, he can die in a ditch." Izuku explains and Aizawa chuckles a bit.

They sit in comfortable silence for a couple of minutes before Aizawa hesitantly asks, "look, kid? I know you don't wanna reveal your identity yet but I wanna help you. yknow hizashi and I could look after you and since your moms a bitch-"

"yeah yeah, I know. I want to its just that...ill probably put you guys in danger if I do."

"How so? i basically live with dange-"

"I cant ok?!" Izuku yells startling Aizawa who jumps at the teen's tone, "shit i-I'm sorry I gotta go."

izuku runs away, leaving a stunned Aizawa sitting on the road.

Chapter Text

Izuku, mei, Hitoshi, and monoma happily walk into ua, ready to start another day!

till nedzu corners them.

"not so fast I need to speak to you all!" Nedzu greets them and the four of them all go into a nervous sweat.

"shit, what did we do this time." monoma sighs.

"Look, if it's about the car it was an accident-" Hitoshi tries to explain but then gets cut off by the rat king himself.

"no no you aren't in troub- wait a car? who's car?"

"...your mom?"

"I...I have no words." Izuku says tiredly.

"moving on! as you guys know, you guys are the only kids in the support class but we can't have you guys blowing up the lab 8 hours a day and you need basic education, you guys will join 1-A for their regular classes!"

"what."

"when they do their own hero course stuff, you'll be at the lab but when they have normal classes like English, math, history, you will join them!" Nedzu says with a grin as izuku pales even more.

"This is gonna be so fun! right, izu-kun?" Mei asks, happily jumping into her friend's arms but then both falling to the ground as midoriya passes out.

izuku wakes up on one of the chairs in a classroom, "shit, I just had the weirdest dream."

"it wasn't a dream," Hitoshi says calmly running his fingers through izuku's fluffy hair.

"sadly," Monoma replies from the distance in a monotone voice, glaring at a red-haired kid with spikey hair.

"I don't know about you but I'm enjoying this!" Mei says with a grin, braiding ashido's hair.

izuku groans loudly, "FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK-"

"excuse me! this is not a room for such foul languag-" A boy with glasses scolds but gets cut off.

"choke on a dick, blue boy."

blue boy gasps, "my name is not blue boy! I am tenya ii-"

"shove a stick up your ass, glasses," katsuki grumbles from behind the arguing teens.

"ignore iida, he likes to follow the rules," A pretty girl with long black hair says, "my name is momo yaoyorozu but you can call me yaomomo."

"..I'm izuku."

"ohhh I like that name! my name is Ochako Uraraka!"

"I'm tsuyu asui."

"I'm Jirou Kyoka."

the class all goes through their names, not one really catching izuku's eye until a blonde boy that is throwing sparkles around the room.

"you, sparkle boy. we are friends now." Izuku says firmly and Aoyama cheers.

"hey izuku, not to be a pain but what's your quirk?" hagakure asks happily.

"oh, I'm quirkless," izuku explains and the class goes into silence.

Chapter Text

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Mineta screams, "WHAT THE HELL IS A QUIRKLESS NOBODY LIKE YOU DOING IN THE HERO COURSE?!" He yells and there is physically smoke coming off of katsuki. no-no I'm serious right now his quirk is acting up and he's gonna blow.

"TAKE THAT BACK, GRAPE FOR BRAINS!" Katsuki screams.

Mineta, ( who either is an idiot or has a death wish) sneers, "are you sticking up for him? is he your boyfriend? are you a fa-"

"that is enough. Mineta, office. immediately." Eraserhead bursts through the door much to izuku's relief and katsuki makes a "tch" noise before sitting back down.

"B-BUT HE'S QUIRKLESS! WHY'S HE EVEN HER-"

"My quirk makes me partially quirkless, and so does hagakure and many other heroes."

"He can't be a her-"

"yes he can." aizawa practically growls and that's all it takes before izuku bursts out in tears saying "thankyouthankyouthankyou-" repeatedly.

"Don't mind him! he's just really emotional towards this shit!" Mei explains, rubbing soothing circles into her friend's back.

Aizawa pushes the protesting mineta out the door before sighing tiredly, "anyways class, as you guys can see these are your new...classmates, well kinda. they'll only be here for when you guys have normal classes, but then will disappear once we do hero training. I'm going to sleep now, don't wake me up. even if there is a fire." he climbs into his sleeping bag and "falls asleep" immediately.

"so back to what Mineta said, are you and bakugo a thing?" Todoroki asks once their classmates are off doing whatever they wanted to.

izuku jumps in surprise, "WHAT?!"

"if you guys are a thing, can I be an uncle." todoroki asks with stars in his eyes.

"NO WHAT??! ME AND KACCHAN ARE JUST FRIENDS DON'T WORRY!" Izuku panic explains but then snaps his head around when he hears someone headbang into their desk, "shit kacchan I didn't mean it like that!"

"if you guys aren't a thing, then call me shoto if I'm not an uncle."

"why are you so obsessed with being an uncle, babe?" Sero asks, putting his arms around shoto.

"because I either wanna be the cool uncle or the wine aunt that talks shit about everyone." shoto explains with a small smile on his lips.

"I WANNA BE THE GAY EMO COUSIN!" Jirou screams.

"WHAT THE FUCK? NO, I AM!" Tokoyami and Hitoshi both say at the same time.

Yaomomo raises her hand, "Mineta should be the "fresh outta jail" uncle. all that agree, raise your hands." She explains and everyone (including Aizawa even though he's in his sleeping bag) raises their hand and nod.

"if someone is non-binary, would we call them aunt or uncle?" Denki asks genuinely.

"auncle." sero says with stars in their eyes and everyone nods their head.

"STOP ME AND KACCHAN ARENT A THI-"

"Im still the uncle."

"shoto, no you fucking are-"

"its uncle to you, bitch."

Chapter Text

After another long and tiring day of being at school, learning useless info you already know thanks to the internet, dealing with shoto's bullshit, and having to walk from ua to his crappy apartment, you would think izuku wants nothing more than to lie down in bed and sleep, right?

yeah, that's what izuku thought he would do, but insomnia is a bitch and none of his friends are awake (even Hitoshi fucking Shinso, the dude whose quirk makes him have insomnia) so he does what any other normal teen would do, go on they phone!

HAH SIKE! he's actually gonna go risk his pathetic life going out on patrol trying to avoid Eraserhead after their last disagreement.

He puts on his oversized hoodie, black ripped cargo shorts, grabs a lot of extra daggers and his bat, then jumps out of his apartment window for another night in hell on the streets.

for some reason, the streets are weirdly empty so izuku takes out his phone and starts singing an old song from the pre-quirk era.

One, two, three, My baby don't mess around Because she loves me so And this I know fo sho But does she really wanna But can't stand to see me walk out the door? Don't try to fight the feeling Because the thought alone is killin' me right now Thank God for Mom and Dad For sticking two together 'Cause we don't know how-

Izuku stops singing and yells when he feels a tap on his shoulder and he screams.

"JESUS CHRIST WHAT THE FUC-"

"IZUKU?!" A way to familiar voice yells and izuku gets a good look at who tapped his shoulder, the dude wearing an oversized hoodie that has safety pins, first aid, and multiple weapons around their chest, high heels, and has a surgical mask over their face but izuku can see one red eye and one blue eye staring widely at him.

"I- SHOTO?!" Izuku whisper yells before shoving both of them into an alley, so no one can hear them.

"what the fuck are you doing out here!" Shoto mutters, whipping off his mask and revealing two snake-bite piercings.

"YOU HAVE LIP PIERCINGS? SICK!"

"DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT DUMMY!"

Then, it snaps in izuku's head, "Your fucking ghost?!"

see, ghost wasn't a "known" vigilante. sure, he has fans but only a couple of people have actually met him. thankfully, izuku looks around on the camera's so he knows at least what he looks like.

"well, your jinx so I don't think you should start talking." Ghost sighs, rubbing a hand through his black hair that is dyed with nonpermanent dye (thankfully)

"wait I have an idea!" Jinx says happily, getting ghost's attention,

"let's be partners!"

"I thought you had a thing with bakugo." Ghost teases, laughing when jinx goes bright red.

"NOT THAT WAY! LIKE Y-YKNOW, PARTNERS IN CRIME!"

"ohhh ok that makes sense since you are dating bak-"

"IM NOT FUCKING DATING HIM!"

Chapter Text

you would think that "hey, being a vigilante with your friend seems fun as fuck!" yeah, that's because with literally anyone else it would be fun, but with shoto it feels like izuku is growing gray hairs.

is he a good friend? yeah. But is he a good partner? fuck no.

he runs around in heels, picks up random shit off the side of the road, smokes weed on fucking patrol (now izuku's clothes smell like weed thanks to that bitch) and worst of all when they ran into Eraserhead he fucking ran away!

"fucking problem child." eraser sighs wrapping jinx up with his scarf after jinx yells out to ghost that he's a fucking coward.

"come on let's go," Eraserhead chucks jinx onto his shoulder and starts walking.

"wait where?"

"the police office dumbass."

"WHAT?! WHY?! I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WOULDNT RAT ME OUT!"

"yeah, and I'm not. your smoking weed yet your underag-"

"THAT WAS GHOST!"

"I'm pretty sure its not."

"I SWEAR IT WASNT ME-"

"save it kid." Eraser explains in a monotone voice and jinx sighs.

"yo Tsukauchi. i caught jinx!" Eraserhead bursts down the door of his friend's office and pulls the teen onto another chair.

"oh, hey jinx!" Tsukauchi says casually because at this point this is just a regular occurrence.

"LEMME GO ERASERDICK I DIDNT DO ANYTHING!"

"want me to go over the list of your crimes?" Tsukauchi sighs and jinx immediately shuts up, "thought so."

"anyways why did you only now bring him in?" Tsukauchi asks Aizawa who goes into a nervous sweat.

"what do you mean?"

"I'm not an idiot. I know that you've worked with the kid for the last couple weeks."

"oh wait you know?!"

"yeah, and so does nedzu."

"oh yeah and nedzu knows who I am!" Jinx replies happily and the two adults go silent immediately.

"...so the rat demon knows who you are yet I fucking don't!" Aizawa yells and then the vent pops open and the rat demon himself jumps out.

"that is correct!" Nedzu says happily and Tsukauchi and Aizawa both let out a horrified scream while jinx falls out of his chair laughing.

Chapter Text

“Oh, hey Nedzu!” Izuku says nonchalantly. “Nice weather today, hm?”

"you little shit! you planned this!" Aizawa grumbles.

jinx slips out of the scarf, "I would love to stay and chat, but I’ve got places to be and all.” he says with a feral grin.

"son of a-" Eraserhead tries to grab jinx but misses and gets a punch to the gut, sending him flying back. he gets up from the chair and grabs his chair and chucks it out the window, breaking it.

“That was close,” Izuku teases. “You'll get me next time. cya at school nedzu!" and then jumps out the five-story building.

"THAT DUMBA- wait did he fucking say school?!" Aizawa panics and then looks at the rat only to see that he has disappeared.

"fuck." Tsukauchi and Aizawa say at the same time and bang their heads on the table at the same time.

"now I gotta ask nedzu, do ya know who ghost is?" Izuku calmly asks as they walk down the road.

"thing is, I don't know!" Nedzu replies cheerfully, "do you know?"

"yup." izuku says, popping the p, "but I'm not gonna tell you because they will get their ass beat."

"that's fine with me, I love guessing games!" Nedzu says with an almost feral grin, rubbing his paws/hands together, and izuku nods.

"to be honest, I'm surprised that Aizawa hasn't realized it's you." Nedzu says after they walk in comfortable silence for a while.

"same, it's either he's oblivious, or a dumbass." Izuku jokes and nedzu chuckles lightly.

"welp, this is my place. cya later nedzu!" Izuku waves at the rat dude and flings himself back up into the window.

"silence bitches!" Aizawa yells, trying to get the class's attention, "I know I said that the support demons- I mean, class isn't supposed to go with us for our hero training, but nedzu is a little bit- liar, and now they are joining us." Aizawa sighs as everyone jumps up cheering.

"wait, don't they have to have hero costumes?" tsuyu asks and mei immediately shoots up.

"I ALREADY MADE THEM IN EDVANCE!"

"mei, how much fucking time do you have on your hands." Monoma sighs.

"way to much!"

"shut up and let's go." Aizawa sighs, pushing the teens out of the class.

Izuku walks into the support class and mei hands him a....bookbag?

"uh, mei-mei? what the fuck is this?" Monoma asks, holding his bookbag.

"dude your supposed to give us our costumes, not a book bag." Hitoshi deadpans.

"it's in the bookbag dumbass!" Mei replies happily and everyone nods their head walking into an extra room to change.

Izuku walks outside to his class wearing a sleeveless hoodie, boots with rockets in them, and a shit ton of weapons plus a metal bat, "Hey guys!"

"yo Midori, I love your outfit!" Mina yells from the side where she was talking to yaomomo and Denki.

"mei, I love ya, but what the fuck is my outfit." Hitoshi sighs stretching in his new "outfit"

"I know you don't like tight shit so I made you one that's baggy! plus the only thing you need is knives and your mask so your good!" Mei replies, giving her friend a thumbs up.

"don't you think your costume is a bit...revealing?" Monoma asks his friend.

"what? why would you say that?" Mei asks in her high-heeled boots, shorts, and a skin-tight shirt.

"i- you know what never mind." Monoma sighs as Aizawa walks out and shoves the class into the bus.

"so Hitoshi," shoto starts saying but gets cut off by izuku muttering fuck under his breath.

"I noticed how you and Aizawa act a lot alike, are you his secret love child." todoroki asks, taking out a notebook, and Hitoshi bursts out laughing.

"Where the fuck would you get that from." Aizawa sighs tiredly.

"well you see, you both are almost the same height, eye bags, mental quirks, sarcastic as fuck, among other stuff." shoto states in a monotone voice and Aizawa goes silent for a moment before bursting out laughing.

"yeah no, I can assure you that the hobo man isn't my father." Hitoshi says to todoroki as they entire the usj and shoto sadly nods his head.

"alright class shut it! me and thirteen here are gonna Its purpose is to train your dumbasses for future disaster resc-" Aizawa says but gets cut off by all of his students pointing at the central plaza to see a warp gate opening up and a dude with light blue hair and hands all around his body crawls out.

Chapter Text

"This is cool as fuck! are those like extra worke-" Kirishima asks excitedly.

"IIDA RUN, GO NOW. THOSE ARE FUCKING VILLAINS!" Aizawa yells and everyone in the class shuts up as iida runs out the door immediately leaving them behind to get help.

"ah, all mig- wait where the fuck is all might." hand guy says confused.

"wait we have all might as a teacher?" Mei gasps and Aizawa facepalms.

"good job dude, ruin the surprise now wontcha."

"i- HUH?!" Hand dude yells.

"Ass mi- all might was supposed to show up in the middle of the battle to surprise the kids but now you ruined it!" Aizawa yells angrily.

The pail-haired dude scratches his neck, "this isn't good! FUCK! all might was supposed to fucking be here!"

"How the hell would ya know that?!" Katsuki yells from somewhere in the back.

"NO FAIR NO FAIR NO FAI-"

"yo is he having a fucking tantrum-" shinso says and Denki tries not to laugh but fails miserably.

"fine! if all might isn't here yet then maybe killing some kids will bring him here!" He says happily scratching away at his neck, "I am tomura shigaraki and I am going to kill you-"

"meh, I like hand man instead." Izuku shrugs and there is shigaraki starts screaming angerly

"why arent you fucking scared!"

"I've been through worse." Izuku says and activates his rocket boots, sending him flying at the hand dude and knocking him to the ground, "oops! sorry hand dude!"

Shigaraki screams once again and then gets up from the ground, "kurogiri! open the portal now!" 

Mist man jumps out from the corner he was hiding in and releases a bunch of low-level thugs jumping around the usj.

"now separate the brats!" shigaraki yells and a big portal shows up and swoops everyone away except for katsuki, izuku, Aizawa, and thirteen. Kurogiri tries to get izuku and katsuki away but izuku chucks katsuki into the portal and hides behind a piece of rubble so he can help out Aizawa.

"did you get the brats away?" Shigaraki says and kurogiri was about to reply that they missed one but got distracted by Aizawa beating the shit out of the thugs.

"i- uh we, yeah!" Kurogiri says and shigaraki nods, oblivious to the teen hiding under a shit ton of rocks trying not to laugh at the mist mans crush on his dad teacher.

Jirou, Denki, yaomomo, and mei all fall out of the purple portal and land on a bunch of thugs with an ugh.

"oh shit! where the hell are we?!" Denki screams, slapping one of the thugs away from him.

"I don't kn- WAIT WHERE ARE MY BABIES!!" Mei screams at the top of her lungs, and the thugs stop fighting and just look really confused.

"hey they stopped fighting! mei say random shit like that again!" Jirou yells and mei nods eagerly.

"How are vampires always so neat and tidy if they can't see themselves in the mirror?! At age 30, you've spent a month having birthdays! sparkling water is just fizzy water! do you know tha-" Mei says eagerly but gets cut off by a punch to the face by one of the thugs screaming for her to shut the fuck up.

"ok this is not working!" Mei says cheerfully climbing up onto some of the rocks.

"we need to distract them so denks can zap 'em-"

"WHAT FUCK NO!"

"Yout the one with electrical powers! just fuckin zap em an let's get outta here!" Jirou whispers to the blonde hair kid.

"if I use my damn quirk ill go dumb you idiot! you saw what happened at the entrance exam!" Denki whines and yaomomo can't help but facepalm while mei gets an idea.

"yo yaomomo!" Mei says happily and the black-haired teen turns her head to her, "do you think you can make a gun?" 

"I mean, it is possible. why?" 

"I just gotta distract them so make a gun and an extra shirt!" Mei explains and the rest of the group looks even more confused.

"why do you need an extra shirt?" Jirou asks hesitantly.

"because I'm gonna distract them with my tits!" Mei yells determinedly and yaomomo hesitantly makes a gun and a shirt for her.

"i- are you sure that's a good idea?" Denki asks nervously.

"duh! they'll be distracted by my tits so you can shoot the bitches!" Mei replys happily and jumps down in front of some of the thugs.

"ayo shawty look my tits are out!" Mei yells and rips her shirt open and cackles at how every one of them looks at her in shock.

"damn, nice boobs!" One of them yells from the back.

"thanks!" Mei smiles and thumbs up in the voice's direction, "welp I'm gonna bring all ya pervs to hell now bye-bye!" Mei runs up to one of them and slashes them in the face and laughs as he stumbles back in surprise. she presses a button on her shoe and "19-2000" by gorillas plays on bust.

"GO GIRL SLAY!"jirou yells from the side, jumping down and shooting a couple of the villains with the tranquilizer gun with Denki not far behind her with a nerf gun.

"I.. a nerf gun? seriously?" Mei laughs, poking another thug in the eye.

"don't worry the darts have nails on them so they'll poke 'em!" Denki yells over the music.

Yaomomo jumps down and makes one of the bad guys in the head with a pole and yells, "FUCK YEAH BOOBIE POWER!" 

The team all nods their heads and screams, "BOOBIE POWER!"

Chapter Text

Shoto, Kirishima, and Katsuki quickly take down some of the thugs in the zone they got sent to, "man, what the fuck is that dude's problem!" Katsuki yells, bashing two of the thug's heads together.

one of the thugs answer quickly, "shigarakiwantstokillallmightpleasedonthurtme-"

"what are you talking about?" Kirishima asks.

"t-the hand dude wants to kill all might.."

"Why the fuck should we believe you?" Katsuki grumbles, wiping away some blood from his hands.

"I don't even want to be here! I just needed some extra cash man!" He says, starting to tear up a bit.

"Alright alright, but how the fuck could he kill all might?" Kirishima asks and the adult tenses up before telling them everything

Mina always said to not judge a book by its cover. that's what she'd been told ever since she's been in kindergarten, bullied for how she looked and how she talked. but now once she's met a scum like Mineta, she thinks she may have to rethink that. he's an annoying little pervert who only cares about being a hero to get babes! he's even been openly quirkiest, like, bro?!?!

Tsuyu quickly dodges something that gets thrown their way once Mineta, mina, and her all get up from the water, "this is not ok *ribbit*" 

Mineta holds onto tsuyu's side, "your boobs are great floaty's asui!"

mina and tsuyu both look at each other before mina says, "leave him?"

tsuyu nods her head, "leave him."

izuku quickly puts together some spare parts as Eraserhead jumps onto some villains and beats the shit out of them with his capture weapon and sends them flying into the ground as shigaraki sighs and takes out his Nintendo switch.

"uh, young master, is it really a good idea to play video games during a fight?"

shigaraki looks up from his switch, "are you saying you are judging me?"

"no no no of course not!"

shigaraki grunts, "good."

once izuku makes a decent gun out of the extra scraps he jumps up and yells, "surprise mother fuckers!"

"WHAT THE HELL?! KUROGIRI YOU SAID YOU GOT RID OF ALL THE BRATS?!" Shigaraki yells at the mist man and starts angrily scratching at his neck,

kurogiri breaks out of his daze of staring at Eraserhead, "oh i- WHAT THE FU-"

Izuku jumps up onto kurogiri and knocks him down before turning to shigaraki, "FUCK! I was supposed to leave you here so all might can watch you die but fuck it! your dying today you little shit!"

"HAH, YOU WISH!" Izuku replies before running up to the crusty man charging at him but then shigaraki reaches out and grabs hold of his weapon and turns it to dust before flipping over izuku onto his back and placing a foot right onto his stomach.

"this determination, the attitude, the fighting style...your jinx arent you?" Shigaraki says with a grin as izuku goes pale.

Chapter Text

Izuku stares in shock as shigaraki laughs like a maniac, "Oh my fucking god! after all this time I thought that jinx was some superpowered adult, yet it's actually just some kid in a mask!" Shigaraki yells as bakugo, Kirishima and shoto all run into the central plaza but stop when they hear shigaraki's words.

"your not a hero! your just a kid, if anything me and you are the sa-" Shigaraki says but gets cut off by izuku grabbing his leg and twisting it so it cracks as he falls over to the ground with a scream.

izuku gets up quickly and runs over to Eraserhead where he is losing a fight against a thug. izuku kicks the thug down and grabs Eraserhead and pulls him away, "hey eraserdick!" Izuku says happily.

"kid your- your izuku?!" 

"yup!"

"so you're saying one of my fucking students is an alcoholic and has committed armed assault, vigilantism, attempted murder, plus so much fucking more?!"

"Don’t forget grand theft and arson, I worked hard for those" izuku says with a feral grin, "also you need to go. like now."

"wh-what why?!"

"I may have pissed off hand guy over there and now he wants me dead. BUT now you guys can run away while you still can and get help!"

"no."

"Aizawa, this isn't fucking up to vote or anything. you need to go now."

"I'm not leaving you here!" Aizawa yells, "he's gonna fucking kill you!"

"meh, I'd rather him kill me than him putting one of his crusty ass fingers on anyone of you guys." Izuku shrugs.

"we're talking about what the hell you just said later but for now I'm not leaving. end of discussi-" Aizawa replies but gets cut off by his own scream as shigaraki grabs onto his elbow and disintegrates it. 

"you should always watch your back Eraserhead!" Shigaraki says with a grin before charging at izuku and grabbing hold of his neck, disintegrating most of the skin on the teen's neck and elbowing him in the rib making him fall backward.

"welp, this is the end for you villain." shigaraki reaches down to try and touch izuku's face but izuku punches him in the nose making him get a nose bleed even though he's on the ground.

"man, it's a shame your such a bitch. you would've been great in the league of villains!" Shigaraki grins trying to pin izuku down to the ground but izuku rolls out from under him, stands up, and kicks shigaraki in the back.

"league of villains? HAH, more like league of losers!" Izuku says, grabbing onto his bat and goes off to attack more of the low-level thugs again.

And so for the next forty minutes, izuku beats the shit out of ALL the remaining thugs by himself as Mei cheers him on from the distance, and the shocked class 1-A stares at the absolute killing machine that izuku midoriya is.

well, that was before all might finally came, "HAVE NO FEAR FOR I AM....here?"

"oh hey all might! you're a bit late here but that's fine." Izuku says with a grin, whipping away some of the extra blood on his face.

"i- what the fuck knuckles happened." all might gasps, looking at all the thugs on the ground.

"I beat them up! I'm going straight to hell, and it was fucking worth it man!" 

Chapter Text

"kid, I'm gonna need you to put down the bat," all might says carefully.

"WHAT?! why?" Izuku whines, gripping the bat tighter, "all I did was save them when you couldn't."

"b-but the way I see it is that you just killed a bunch of people."

"....i didn't kill them." Izuku says and all might points to one on the ground not moving, "...ok so maybe that one is dea-"

"just come with me so I can get this sorted out." All might sighs and izuku does the one thing that he can do. give himself in- HAHA JUST KIDDING!

Izuku turns around and fucking runs faster than all might thinks is possible, "CATCH ME IF YOU CAN ALL MIGHT!"

long story short, izuku gets caught after a long chase of him breaking a window, stealing a car, breaking into hawks agency, and almost running face-first into midnights boobs to only get knocked out by her quirk that brings him here in the police office, locked up with a muzzle over his mouth that reminds him of that one day with the sludge villain and that was when his life went to absolute shit.

"ah, hello jinx." Tsukauchi sighs, sitting down into a chair. "now I know that you have a muzzle over your mouth but we need to keep it o-"

izuku screams loud, and even though the muzzle muffles most of it, it's still fucking loud. "okay okay ill take it off! but if you scream or try anything I'm putting it back on okay?"

izuku shuts up immediately and Tsukauchi sighs as he leans over to take the muzzle off, "there. you good now, kid?"

"never fucking do that again," izuku says deathly serious, rubbing his jaw where a new purple-ish blue bruise appears and stares down at the table in...shame? guilt? anger? sadness? Tsukauchi will never know.

Tsukauchi runs a hand through his hair. honestly, he should've gotten more coffee this morning. "alright, now back to why we are here we need you to tell everything."

izuku glares at him, "why the fuck would I do that?"

"because we wanna help you."

izuku laughs though it isn't a happy laugh, more like a "what type of bull shit is this" laugh, "not like I haven't heard anything like that before. besides, you can't do anything anyways. I'm in too much deep shit for you guys to help me so just throw me in the slammer or kill me."

"so.. you're giving up?"

"no, I'm just being realistic," izuku says, spinning around the orange and black ring on their finger.

Tsukauchi sends one last worried look at the teen in front of him before sitting up to get Aizawa.

Tsukauchi walks into the main area to see Aizawa sigh's tiredly as one of his students yell at him,

"Sensei, I swear to fucking god If you don't let me see Deku right now and let him explain what the fuck is going on I will break down that damn door do you hear me!" Katsuki growls at the black-haired man.

"bakugo, how many times do I have to tell you. you cant see izuku right now."

"I don't care! and besides, Deku isn't a fuckin murderer let him go! if he is getting charged with anything then it's stupid! you cant actually charge him because it was fucking self-defense! they were gonna kill all of us yet Deku's getting in fucking trouble?! what bull shit!" Katsuki slams his hand down on the table and Aizawa stares at him with sad tired eyes.

"bakugo, we are trying all that we ca-"

"no your fucking not! now let me see my best friend bitch."

Chapter Text

"bakugo for the last fucking time we can't let you go in and see hi-" Aizawa says but stops when he hears a bang from inside the interrogation room, "Tsukauchi, I am praying you didn't leave the problem child alone in the room."

Tsukauchi chuckles awkwardly, "uh, oops?"

Katsuki activates his quirk and blast's himself towards the room and flies to the room only to be greeted by izuku breaking the straps on his arms and jumping free.

"KACCHAN!" Izuku happily says, running up to the blonde and hugging him.

Katsuki goes red immediately, "G-GET THE FUCK OFF OF ME DEKU!"

"oh sorry!" Izuku replies but not making an effort to let go of him.

"for fucks sake." Aizawa sighs rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Alright enough of this shit, we are doing the interrogation right now whether you like it or not." Tsukauchi sighs, sitting down in the chair and guiding katsuki and Aizawa to sit as well.

"Alright kid, so starting with the basic stuff, why did you become a vigilante-"

"it was an accident." truth.

"do you work with the league?"

"Nah." truth.

"is anyone else at ua working with you or a vigilante as well?"

"Yup," Izuku says with a grin.

Tsukauchi's brain short circuits as he realizes its another truth, "w-what?! who?!"

"HAH! I'm not telling you shit, ya old man!"

"fine fine, now about what's going to happen next for you-"

"yeah nope."

"I'm not even fucking do-"

"Did I stutter?"

Tsukauchi groans, "as I was saying, you cant be a vigilante anymor-"

"THAT IS SUCH BULL SHI-"

“shut it, we are here to offer you a spot in UA’s newly formed Villain Rehabilitation Program.” Aizawa states firmly.

Izuku rolls his eyes. “Pass.”

Aizawa sighed, his glare slipping into an impassively blank face. “Kid you haven't even heard what we’re offering you.”

“Oh you think I want to hear how you plan to make me into a model citizen with therapy and cookies and rainbows? I’d rather have my fingernails ripped out with rusty pliers and then get shot multiple times with a rifle.” Izuku says, voice dripping with sarcasm as katsuki lightly punches him in the arm whispering "shut up edge lord."

"we just want to help you." Tsukauchi says genuinely and as much as izuku wants to believe him, there's just way too much trauma™ under his belt to believe anything that adults say.

"yeah, so you "help me", then what? I know damn well I'm not gonna be a hero. besides, why can't I just stay with my friends or some shit?" Izuku replies, crossing their arms.

"we need someone to look after you all the time so you are not allowed in the support class," Tsukauchi says and izuku was about to protest but gets cut off by a tired/pissed looking glare from Tsukauchi, "as I was saying, you cannot be in the support class and will be put under Aizawa's care at all times."

izuku stares blankly ahead at the police officer, "what the fuck are you talking about."

"Aizawa will look after you at all times." Tsukauchi states again and izuku groans.

"I'm fine on my own! I have an apartment, food, friends and I'm helping people! I don't need you bozo's help."

"one, the apartment is barely even an apartment, two, you go dumpster diving for fucking food, and three, sure you have friends and your helping people but you're putting yourself at risk at an almost suicidal level. you need serious help, and your gonna get it whether you like it or not." Aizawa explains and he and izuku go into a long staring contest before izuku sighs and gives up.

"fine."

Chapter Text

Aizawa sighs in relief, "okay, ill go do all the paperwork and shit. bakugo stay here with him and make sure he doesn't explode something, okay?"

katsuki nods his head firmly and Aizawa walks out the door with Tsukauchi not far behind him.

izuku stans up immediately with a smirk and opens up the window, " what the hell are you doing?" katsuki growls at the green-haired teen who doesn't even flinch.

"wow kacchan, I thought you were smarter than this!" Izuku laughs, puts his legs up on the window, and grabs onto the side, "if eraserdick asks where I am, say that I'm gone for a walk!" Izuku yells as he slips out the window, tucking his legs up to his chest and rolling as he hits the ground with an ugh and gets up and starts running, cackling as he hears katsuki yell at him in the distance. what? did you expect him to actually lay on the fucking ground? nah, he's got work to do.

THIS JUST IN, NUMBER TWO HERO ENDEAVOR'S AGENCY SPRAY PAINTED AND GLITTER BOMBED! WITNESSES SAY IT WAS THE NOTORIOUS VIGILANTE JINX- 

BREAKING NEWS, PRO HERO ENDEAVOR  HAS A SPEAKER ON HIM BLASTING THE SONG "STARSHIPS" BY NICKI MINAJI WHENEVER HE GOES NEAR A VILLAIN? DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH JINX-

DURING AN INTERVIEW WITH SHOTO TODOROKI, HE STATES THAT HE "DOESN'T GIVE A CRAP ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS FATHER'S AGENCY"? 

Aizawa yells and throws his phone dramatically at the wall before storming into the interrogation office to only see katsuki playing his Nintendo switch and no izuku insight, "katsuki, where the fuck did he go."

"they jumped outta the window," Katsuki replies dryly not looking up from his game where he's playing animal crossing.

"did he say anything like what he was gonna do?"

"Nope, just called me a dumbass and rolled." Katsuki shrugs his shoulders.

katsuki stops playing his game as he senses Aizawa's glare at his head as he turns his head to see his teacher glaring at him, right eye twitching a bit, "well what the fuck are you waiting for! go after him, idiot!" 

"oh okay!" Katsuki grins, attempting to jump out of the open window next to him but misses just by a bit, and goes accidentally flying through the glass instead. Aizawa runs over to the (now broken) window, expecting to see a beaten and bloody body there but is greeted by katsuki standing up, stretching like a cat, and then sending a smirk towards the window that shows an awestruck Aizawa standing there before running towards where he thinks izuku may have gone.

Aizawa stands in silence for a couple of minutes before whispering to himself, "what the fuck is wrong with this class."

Izuku cackles on top of one of a building as he watches the chaos unfold from the streets below. endeavor yelling as Nicki manaji blasts from every single speaker and phone that are in the city, multiple glitter bombs go off and blind any heroes trying to stop endeavor from his yelling/ setting shit on fire spree, and shoto and dabi high fiving each other as they snipe Vlad king in the eye with a paint gun.

"remind me, who the fuck this burnt bitch is again?" Izuku asks jokingly as dabi gives an offended gasp.

"I've known you for what, like 5 years?! how the fuck do you not know who I am?"

"i was joking calm your emo ass down."

Dabi crosses his arms and pouts as the staples on his lips stretch, "it's not my fault I barely had any fucking human interaction in the last six years! I suck at this shit."

Shoto rolls his eyes and was about to reply but before he could say anything the door bursts down showing a pissed-off katsuki.

"shit isn't that one of the hero kids?!" Dabi whisper yells and shoto nods his head, absolutely mortified, "NAH IM GETTIN OUTTA HERE!" 

Dabi runs to the side of the building and shoto runs after him yelling "TOUYA-KUN WAIT FOR MEEE-" 

Katsuki looks between a pale izuku and the area where dabi and shoto basically ran away from him and back towards izuku before he groans saying "you got yourself in some deep shit Deku."

"awe thanks kacchan!" Izuku replies cheerfully before pressing a button on his remote control and explodes any other glitter bomb in mirikos agency.

"your gonna get yourself killed, I just know it," Katsuki grumbles, grabbing onto izuku's black hoodie and hauling the green hair gremlin onto his shoulder.

"don't worry! if I do get killed and God sends me to hell, ill simply say I won't go. what will he do? send me to hell? nope. I already said I'm not going." Izuku states proudly.

katsuki already feels like he's growing grey hairs thanks to his crush friend.

Katsuki and izuku happily walk back to the police office, holding hands and talking about random shit like drama from their classmates before they walked into the police office to be greeted by the one and only inko midoriya.

"i- MOM?!" Izuku yells, letting go of katsuki's hand.

"ah, hello Izumi!" Inko says happily and everyone in the police station goes silent.

izuku speaks up, "mom, how many times do I have to tell you, it's izuku."

inko glares at her son but still has the fake smile on her lips, "it's Izumi. I gave birth to a girl, nothing else. how are you expecting to get a man to love you if your head is full of this gay shi-"

"oh, you wanna see some gay shit?" Izuku replies with a smirk as he leans over to katsuki and kisses him on the lips. once he pulls back he leans over to the horrified inko and whispers, "how the fuck can you try and talk to me about dating a man when dad divorced you the second he found out you were pregnant?"

Chapter Text

Inko stares at her son for about ten seconds before saying, "fuck you! you'll always be my daughter and don't bring this random young man into your gay shi-"

"actually ma, that isn't a random young man," izuku says with a feral smirk that sends shivers down her spine.

"don't go lying to me-"

katsuki clears his throat, "uhm inko-san? it's me, katsuki." 

inko pales as realization crosses her face and katsuki and izuku try to not snort at how stupid she looks right now. "b-but I thought Izumi hates you?!"

"meh, he's not much of a bitch as he was." izuku shrugs his shoulders and inko goes red immediately.

"Izumi, get in the car. you're going home."

"Nope."

"Izumi don't make me repeat mysel-"

"Actually it's izuku." One of the police officers pipes up and izuku can't help but smirk.

"This is outrageous! you are my daughte-"

"actually by law, I'm izuku's new guardian." Aizawa shrugs his shoulders, sipping his coffee with a blank expression as inko gasps.

"y-you cant do that!" inko stammers.

"Actually, he can. you've neglected, abused, and have been overall an abusive prick to izuku." Tsukauchi replies with an obviously fake grin.

inko stares at everyone in the room as her eye twitches before huffing, "fine. get that disgrace out of my life for good."

"We were planning on that," izuku mutters and Tsukauchi tries to hide his laugh with a cough. inko sends one last glare at her son before storming out of the police station and leaving everyone t start laughing their asses off about what just happened. until shoto comes through the door.

"i- bakugo? izuku? man, I swear I gotta stop interrupting you guys when your on a date."

"WE AREN'T ON A DATE YOU FUCKING CANADIAN FLAG!" Katsuki yells and shoto doesn't even flinch.

"Anyway, I gotta bail my brother out."

"what the fuck?! since when do you have a brother?!"

"I have two, Touya and natsou- well technically I had three brothers but fuyumi is a girl now." shoto explains shrugging his shoulders, and katsuki nods. candyca- I mean, shoto then walks into one of the rooms to find his brother casually sitting there on his phone that he should probably not have right now.

"sup sho," Touya says not looking away from his phone where he seems to be texting someone on discord.

"stop talking to our discord kitten and get your ugly ass up, I'm bailing you out."

Touya makes a humming noise, "and who's fault is it that I'm in the slammer right now? yeah, you! Mr "I'm gonna run faster than my older brother who has asthma and a nic addiction in an alleyway running away from the police and leave him there!"

"hey, I did not say that!"

"yeah but you totally thought it!"

"y'know what? fuck this I'm leaving you here." shoto sighs and turns around about to walk out of the room.

 "I was just joking lemme outta here!" Touya whines.

"nope, you deserve it."

"can you guys shut up already?! jesus christ," katsuki grumbles, running a hand through his hair.

"random question bakugo, if I have sex with a dude, am I gay?" shoto asks with a grin as Touya gets up from his chair and tries to hide the smile on his face.

"obviously icy hot! what are you high or something?!"

"no, I'm shoto." 

"......... I want what he's on," says Aizawa earning a smack on the side of the head.

"kats, can I call you kats? I'm totally calling you kats. anyway, can you drive me and this little shi- I mean, older brother back to our house?" shoto asks calmly.

"what? why the fuck me?"

"because that dumbass is totally not high right now and if I drive I get sick," Touya explains, putting his hands in his pockets.

katsuki groans, "fine. but on the way back we're getting some fucking food alright?"

touya and shoto nod excitedly as katsuki whispers to izuku that he'll text him later and then walk out the door and to the car (that they totally won't crash into 6 fire hydrants, a tree, and a poor ladies window just to get some damn food).

the police officer stares at the door in complete silence before Aizawa asks izuku, "wanna go home now?"

"wait so we're all just gonna ignore the fact that an arsonist, an angry teenager, and a high candy cane just went out into a car that they probably stole?"

the policemen all shrug their shoulders and one of them speaks up, "we've dealt with worse."

aizawa and izuku drive in aizawas run-down car in silence other than izuku occasuanly asking, "have you ever heard of Ligma?" or "Excuse me, but do you like Wendys?" or the classic, "do you know who Candice is?" with each question from the green-haired little shit, it feels like a piece of Aizawa's soul is being torn apart inch by inch.

izuku points to Aizawa's apartment when they pull up, "damn! you live in that dump?"

"yeah, I do. besides it, only me and my boyfriend- holy shit I forgot to tell zashi I adopted you oh my good." Aizawa whips out his phone and doesn't notice the feral grin that is spread across his face.

hizashi picks up the call, "hey sho what u-"

"yknow that vigilante I always talk about?"

"jinx? yeah, of course, you've talked about the little shit for months now. why? is he hurt?"

"nono he's not don't worry," Aizawa explains.

"...okay then what is it?"

"i- uh, imayhaveadoptedhimwithouttalkingtoyouaboutit-" Aizawa panic explains only to realize that izuku isn't next to him and there is now a 5'4 sized hole in their apartment window, and if that isn't crazy by itself, they are on the 5th floor.

"HEY, NEW DAD!" Izuku yells and hizashi activates his quirk and lets out a horrified scream.