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2022-05-21
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Darjetii osik

Summary:

Lineage dinners are a very Jetii thing, so Thorn didn't know why he was attending a darjetii lineage dinner... ah, yes. It was because Fox was in a relationship with a darjetii Alor and had been brought along as a brother-in-law. Now if only Maul would shut up, he could "maybe" relax enough to enjoy his meal.

Notes:

God I wrote that in less than thirty minutes and translated it right away XD
All the sentences in bold are from a comment of Arcaluna on my fic "You would look beautiful in blood red" that inspired me so much XD

Work Text:

   Thorn had always known that Fox was a little crazy, deep in his heart, he had known from day one upon discovering his Commander's temperament, perfectionism and work capacity that he was beyond the human species. He'd known it, he'd had little evidence of it, but right now, right now, Fox was beating even Thorn's worst wild assumptions by a mile, and Thorn had a very creative imagination. Very creative.

   And Fox had smashed all of that.

   And Thorn, as a Commander and close friend of Fox, had had the dubious honour of having a front row seat to witness the end of the world and logic. The banquet itself was one surprise, that he had an invitation was another – that he was obliged to accept, considering it was Fox who invited him, was a given.

     - "... kill that damned Kenobi!" Shouted the red Zabrak across from him on his left, thankfully Thorn had the quiet Zabrak right in front of him, he pitied Thire for the volume of sound that must have hit his ears.

     - "Maul, stop yelling, we already know about your crush..." sighed the Chancellor/Sith Lord/unofficial brother-in-law.

     - "Asajj, we already said no lightsabers, you can keep them for the obligatory assassination attempts but not on the table! And by the way, take that elbow off too! I wouldn't have a savage without a table education for Apprentice!" Added the kriffing Count Dooku/Sith Lord/Fox's son-in-law in a dry, haughty tone.

   What was Dooku to Thorn knowing that he was Fox's unofficial son-in-law and that Fox was his brother? His nephew-in-law? Wow.

   They all ignored how Maul was spitting things at General Kenobi, fortunately things didn't get vulgar, the Chancellor seemed to have an instinctive radar and glanced at the Zabrak who always changed his insults to creative death threats at the last second. Strangely, the death threats seemed to be correct.

   Although... these were Sith, they all seemed to enjoy a little murder now and then.

   Ah... but that's why Fox got along with each of them so well! It was because they were all crazy in the exact same way he was!

     - And may I ask why there are blood-red clones all over the corridors of, need I remind you all, MY palace?

     - "They wanted to come," Fox lied

   None of them had personally wanted to come, but Fox had wanted them to, so they wanted to... from a certain point of view. Either way, they liked to please Fox.

     - Be polite to my brothers-in-law, my Apprentice.

     - What do you mean "they wanted to come"? What do you mean "brothers-in-law"?!

     - "Foxy, darling, can you pass me the salt?" asked the Chancellor, completely ignoring his disciple.

     - Master, can I leave the table? I really want to go fight a Jedi, or Maul at worst, so he'll forget how much he loves Kenobi.

     - I DON’T love Kenobi!

     - ...

     - "We know, Savage. Believe me, we know," sighed Dooku, sounding exhausted. "You kids may leave the table," he announced in a dignified tone as he straightened up."

   Thorn stood passively and watched the Zabrak "kids" get up with enthusiasm – even the massive yellow guy – and walk away quickly, with Ventress giving a quick kiss on Dooku’s cheek, Dooku who smiled slightly while trying to hide his satisfaction under his beard.

     - "Ahhh... teenagers," the Chancellor reacted with a benevolent grandfatherly air. "Maul! I don't want to hear about you harassing Kenobi on social media again under a ridiculous pseudonym!"

     - Hrg... yes, Master.

     - "Sir, these are public enemies..." Fox pretended to notice as if he hadn't casually greeted each of these Sith.

     - This is my lineage, Fox, I'm required to attend regular bloodline dinners, it's in the contract.

     - "It's in the contract," Dooku confirmed, sipping a wine so expensive that Thorn hadn't dared touch his glass.

     - Lineage? Isn't that like family? Sheev!

     - The Chancellor has some strange connections... Thire whispered to him, taking advantage of Maul's absence to finally think beyond the first two words of a sentence.

   Thorn understood, he himself had been struggling to really think over his hysterical ranting.

     - Yeah...

   Thorn checked Stone to Thire's left, he had been facing Ventress but she seemed to be pretty good company so... oh.

   Damn.

   He knew that look. It had been Fox's the first few weeks when he had run into the Chancellor and the Chancellor had spoken to him.

   Stone looked longingly and with a small pout at Asajj Kriffing Ventress' plate. Stone had developed a crush in less than thirty minutes.

     - Jetii osik?

   Thorn was beginning to wonder about it, but at this point he wondered if they were using their Force osik to make themselves attractive or friendly. The Chancellor was charming, Count Dooku was magnetic and elegant, and Ventress was sexy. Then he remembered the mute Savage and the frantic Maul. That was three out of five...

     - More like darjetii osik but yeah, I guess.

   Finally, he was going to have that drink.