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Chapter Text

hey y'all :)

Quick disclaimer! This fic is based off of the vocaloid song "Dark Woods Circus", written by Machigerita-P and was first uploaded in 2008.

Though this is based on the song, the song itself has deeper, real meanings.

I'm not sure if it's been explicitly stated, but it was been the speculation for years that this song is meant to parallel the real life events that happened in some areas in children during the Edo time period era of Japan.

This fic is in no way meant to glorify or romanticize the history of that speculation. It is purely based on the vocaloid song itself, and isn't meant to reflect the real people whom were harmed during that period. 

With that, I hope u enjoy :) ❁

this was originally started back in 2018. I'm excited to finally continue and to put this story to rest. :)!!

this is a little farewell to an old friend

here is a link to the original fic: https://www.wattpad.com/story/152515692-vocaloid-where-the-odd-ones-lie

Chapter Text

I must go! I must go!

Mayu could not be late for the show. She ran as fast as she could. This was it; her final chance. Tears streamed down her pale face as she cried into the night. Her heart pounded, her entire body ached. Her fleece cardigan was nagged and torn. All was well with her. The pain would leave her, and be no more, and she would be whole again. 

She reached the outskirts of the forest and stopped. The trees stretched ominously, branching to cover the moonlight. This is real. This would be real. 

It didn't take much more running to reach the tent in the woods. Though it wasn't conspicuous, it didn't exactly catch the eye either. She was hesitant to go in, but the buzzing in her ears and the adrenaline lured her farther. 

This was the place, right? Surely, it had to be. It would be. 

She stood in the middle of the tent. Strung lights illuminated the inside. It was mostly barren, but not neglected. Mayu's thoughts were drowned out by the chirps of crickets outside. She appreciated the eerie calm of the forest, though she couldn't help but feel confused. Where was everyone?

"Hello?" she called out in the silence. Shortly after, a voice responded. 

"Coming, coming!" From around one of the tent's corners appeared a threatening figure. The shadows were humanoid, though a few feet taller than any person she'd ever seen. 

As her eyes adjusted to the light coming from the shadows' lanterns, she could recognize the faces of what seemed to be two women. One woman dressed in blue, the other dressed in the other in purple. Their heads grazed the tent's ceiling.

"My, you're very skilled with the stilts!" she said to them in awe.

"Why, thank you!" the one in blue curtsied. 

"Please, come this way miss!" they led her out of the tent, and deeper into the forest. There was another clearing not far from where they were. There were several train carts, and the area was littered in props. 

"You want to be in this show?" the woman in purple inquired, her voice hushed and sweet, piercing through the thick silence. 

Mayu nodded confidently. "Yes. More than anything." 

"What skill can you offer us here?"

"I do trapeze, ma'am."

"Sign this!" the lady in blue slowly leaned down to reach Mayu. She took the contract in her hands. She'd barely read the liabilities, terms, and conditions as her trembling hands signed the paper in thick, black strokes. It was done. 

They moved forward, closer to a group of separate train carts. They held the lantern behind her as they beckoned her to climb into one. She could barely make out the silhouettes of other people. 

"Sleep," the lady in purple whispered softly, smiling down at Mayu. The reassurance her sweet voice gave her was quickly forgotten as the door of the cart slammed shut behind her. Everything was completely black. Mayu was a little confused, being told to sleep in a cart. Though, she didn't have much room to complain given her adrenaline was warily fading away. She pat the hay flooring around her, trying to find a comfortable place to lie down. She closed her eyes, and slept dreamlessly. 

She woke to light peering in through the cracks of the old, wooden train cart. She raised her head, and realized she'd fallen asleep on someone else's leg. 

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry!" Mayu shifted away from them as quickly as she could. She then came face to face with the person. They looked awfully peculiar. They had white hair that ombred into teal, and wore a sort of dress. 

She looked around and saw many other sleeping figures. Who were these people? Did they work in the circus too?

She saw an entire ensemble of strange people. One had stitches in its head, the other covered in bandages. Two girls dressed completely in black, white, and purple curled up beside one another. A girl in her beautiful pink dress, only her legs...were backwards? The bone protruded through her skin, making the skin of her legs translucent and all of her veins extremely prominent. The practical effect scared her a little. The circus's budget must have been much more than she'd estimated. There were two blonde children covered in dark, inky stiches. An older woman with ram's horns coming out of her head. Mayu's breathing began to stagger.

She took a deep brief, and gave the cart another one-over. Her eyes caught someone she hadn't noticed before: a boy dressed completely in red and white. She slowly crawled over to him and examined him. Part of his face looked as though it was cracked. His choppy, uneven bangs covered one of his eyes. 

Mayu gulped and slowly moved his bangs out of the way. A strange, red light peeked through the hairs. Mayu's curiosity only grew.

She slowly raised the full of his bangs up, only for his eyes to shoot open and stare at her. She shrieked, trying to scramble away. The boy had grabbed a hold of her wrist. 

She lie on her back and on her other elbow, her chest heaving. The boy only gave a wry smile.

"Ah, good morning there. And who might you be?"

Chapter Text

"I'm the new addition to the circus. My name is Mayu, sir," she spoke in a hushed tone, afraid to wake anyone else. 

The boy frowned. "Don't 'sir' me. You talk awfully proper for a circus woman."

He twisted her wrist, and looked her up and down. He looked more confused than she was. 

"I don't understand.." 

She twisted her wrist from him, stumbling back a little.

"Yes, well, I guess that makes two of us," she rubbed her sore arm. 

The boy shook his head, putting a hand over his chin in thought.

"I hate to break it to you, missy. If you don't have anything...unique about you, we don't really have a use for you."

If Mayu hadn't been so startled, she would've been offended. Still, it was her first day. She'd expected to have to sort through some confusion, given she'd shown up at night. But the wording of what was said to her...made things incomprehensibly confusing. 

"I told the ladies I do trapeze, and I was welcomed in. I-I signed a contract and everything, honest sir.

The boy huffed. "There you go sirring me again."

He sighed. "Ma'am, do you have any...deformities?"

"Excuse me?"

The boy couldn't help but laugh. "Look around you, lady. Do we seem ordinary to you?"

Mayu sighed. "I-I guess you all are a little...unique. You all have wonderful costumes."

It was the boy's turn to be offended. "Costumes? Are you slow, girl?"

She frowned, and crossed her arms. "What are you on about?"

He looked genuinely confused, and took a moment to realize their situation. "You really don't know what's going on, do you?"

Mayu huffed. "Well, I did only got here last night."

The boy rubbed the back of his neck sighed. "We got off on the wrong foot. I'm Fukase, a pleasure to meet'cha." 

Mayu slowly took hold of the boy's outstretched hand. It was covered in pristine bandages. "Yes, well, it is a pleasure to meet you, Fukase."

"I plan to be an acrobat in this show. What role do you play in the show?"

"Oh, me? I take my face apart for everyone to see." He'd said it so nonchalantly that Mayu almost didn't catch what he said. He laughed at her worried expression.

"I'm kidding! I'm a contortionist." 

"O-oh, right. Um, well, what do they do?"

She pointed over at the two girls huddled close to one another.

"Them? Them there's the 'Flower Sisters'. They're acrobats, like you."

"I-I see. And him?" 

She pointed to a man with stitches in his head.

"That's Big Al. He's like the ring leader 'round here." 

"And the ladies over there? The one with the, um, horns?"

"That's Miku and Luka. They sing together. A tip, ah, don't glare at Miku's legs for too long." he laughed at his own joke. 

Mayu awkwardly laughed along. This was strange. This didn't look like the actors of any circus she'd ever been to. Truth be told, she'd never attended this specific circus. But she'd assumed they all were, fundamentally, the same. 

"And what about that...person, over there?"

"Them? That there's Piko. They're one of the dancers."

"And the one lying next to him? With the bandages?"

"That's Oliver. And that little girl is his friend, Yuki."

"And those kids over there? They look so frail..." She grimaced at the ribs poking through their thin shirts.

"Ah, Rin and Len. They're twins, and they, ah...they weren't born conjoined," his voiced hushed at the latter part of the sentence.

Mayu gulped and nod. What on earth?

"If they weren't born conjoined, then how did...?"

Fukase's expression turned grim. "It's the circus maestro."

"What do you mean?"

"Fukase?" a small voice called behind them. Mayu whipped around. She looked down to see the boy with the bandaged eye: Oliver. He seemed to be a good few years younger than her. He was very cute, rubbing the sleep from his eye lazily. 

"Fukase, who is this girl?" his voice held the cadence of childish curiosity.

"This here is...Mayo."

"Mayu," she corrected him sternly. 

He chuckled under his breath. "Right, sorry. Go on, Ollie, introduce yourself." 

He smiled warmly, and held out his arms towards her. "I'm Oliver, and it's a pleasure to meet you!" Mayu went to shake one of his hands, only to be enveloped in a big hug.

"Ah, yes, i-it's a pleasure as well."

"So, Mayu, what brings you to an awful place like this?" 

Her eyes widened. "W-whatever could you mean? I assumed you all came here to, ah, express yourselves through your art, right?"

Oliver tilted his head to the side. "Express ourselves? Fukase, do you know what she's talking about?" 

Fukase shrugged. "No clue. Hell, she said we had nice costumes."

Oliver chuckled. "Costumes? My, she must be cooky!"

Mayu's eyes widened. Fukase and Oliver brushed past her and towards the door of the cart. She could hear the grumbling of the other members beginning to wake up. Mayu set after the duo, for she had many more questions. She caught up to Fukase and grabbed his shoulder, whipping him around. 

"Please do not joke at my expense. Tell me, what is going on?"

He shoved her with more force than he might've intended to. "I don't appreciate the attitude, missy!"

"Fukase, is this girl giving you trouble?"

Mayu looked up to see who she presumed to be Luka. She was leaning against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest. Mayu turned and faced Luka.

"My, your costume almost looks real," she reached up to brush against her horns. Her eyes widened. The felt unbelievably real. They were warm, and solid, and felt as though they had been taken off of an animal that very morning. Luka looked far from amused. Mayu quickly pulled her hand away, Oliver laughing behind her. 

All of the other members had been roused from their sleep. They all began to line out of the cart, giving Mayu side glances on their way out. After they all had left, Mayu remained in the corner of the cart, still dazed with shock and confusion. 

Chapter Text

"Alright, everyone. We have a show in two nights, and will need to make some minor adjustments." Al said, clearly addressing Mayu's presence. She immediately turned her gaze to the ground, not wishing to earn anymore unpleasant stares. 

"The maestro is already aware of her position in the show. Things should run smoothly." He put on a smile, that faltered a little at the latter part of his announcement. "They have to."

Al clapped his large hands loudly, and everyone began settling into place around the tent. One of the Flower sisters pulled her over to the trapeze with them.

"I'm V," the sister with the longer hair said. "My sister is Flower. Please refer to us as such," her voice was soft, yet stern. Mayu gulped, and quickly nod her head. She hated to admit that it gave her some relief that they spoke politely. 

"You do trapeze, correct?"

"Y-yes." 

"Alright. Wait here while we get dressed, and we'll get you a practice leotard." the duo walked away to a different section of the tent. As she watched them leave, their height difference became more apparent. The smaller of the two, Flower, had a younger, less mature demeanor than her sister. Still, she had to admit, they were both fairly intimidating in their own ways. And, appearance wise, they were genuinely beautiful. Her breath hitched in their direct presence, even though the amount of time they'd spent together thus far was fairly short.

The sisters came back dressed in extravagant clothing. V wore a white leotard with deep indigo sequins. Flower wore a lavender leotard decorated in pink. 

"Here. Go change into this, in a timely manner," Flower spoke up, her voice softer and deeper than her sister's. Mayu thanked them and tried to remember which way she remembered the two coming from. It took her more time then she'd like to admit to find the dressing room. 

The dressing room was cramped and dark. It hadn't dawned on her that she'd have to change her clothes until the very moment she had to. Feeling a little embarrassed, she shyly changed into the leotard, folding her dress and cardigan neatly and tucked into a corner. It had been a while since so much of her skin was exposed. Much less to a bunch of strangers. She shyly went back out to the arena. 

"Um, don't you think this is a little tight?" Mayu asked, popping herself while trying to adjust it. 

"Maybe. Do not fret, we'll have your personal leotard made in time. I'll take your measurement," V said, bringing her some reassurance. 

"Ah, let's see. You're brand new here, so your debut performance should be short. We could swing you in towards the end of the show, so sit tight and watch us run through it."

She nod her head, and shyly skipped over to the bleachers settled in front of the arena. Put frankly, she was astonished! Al blowing fire, the elegant dancing, she couldn't wait to see the entire show. Well, rather, to be apart of the finished production. One thing she did notice, though, was after the performance, most of them seemed less than amused. It was a bit odd. Shouldn't they be happy giving such an incredible performance?

V ran up to her, panting slightly. "Alright...so, at the end, when Flower and I are swinging towards the climax of the song, you're going to run in from the back of the trapeze bar. I'll be there ready, arms wide. I'm going to swing you over to the other platform with Flower. Ah, do tell me, how would you describe how skilled you are with trapeze?"

Mayu noticed there was no net to catch them if they were to fall. She felt very nervous, but tried to keep confidence in herself. She had been practically raised a gymnast, so there was no reason to doubt her skills now. 

"My skill are superior, V."

V smirked, ever so slightly. "I like the sound of that. Let me go talk to Al. I'll be back shortly," V left, and Flower came over to replace her.

"You had a rough start. No big deal, we all go through denial in the beginning."

Mayu gave her a puzzled look. "What are you talking about?"

Flower's face softened as she came to the realization. "You really don't know what's going on, do you?"

"I'm afraid not..."

Flower's face suddenly became serious. "Mayu, how did you find out about this circus? H-how did you wander out here, and come to-"

"Alright, you two. Let's get moving," V interrupted. Flower took a deep breath, fixed her face, and took Mayu's hand and slowly led her to the trapeze. 

As the music went on, Mayu took it as her cue to get ready when V would look down and nod at her. Mayu climbed the platform, V immediately grabbing her waist. 

"Alright. When I lift off, lean into me. I'll throw you, and Flower will catch you. She may look small, but she's strong. Now, when I throw you, grab onto her and steady yourself on the platform. You got all that?"

Their close proximity made her sweat profusely. "Y-yes."

"Alright, here we go." She dug her palms deeper into Mayu's side. She gracefully swung her over to other platform, Mayu being sure to anchor her legs onto V. As V tried to swing back to her platform, her fingers became caught in Mayu's hair. Immediate panic set into Mayu. She screamed, but V made sure to envelope her body and let go of her swing. They fell to the hard ground with a loud 'thud'. 

Mayu slowly opened her eyes to see V bruised and injured beneath her. She gasped in horror as she straddled V, grasping her face and pushing lightly on her chest, trying to get a response. V was ice cold, her ligaments broken, her chest shaking as she struggled to breath. 

"V! Oh God, Oh God. Please wake up!" she cried. Everyone just starred as she panicked. Even her own sister seemed calm. 

What was wrong with these people? Wouldn't they come help?

Mayu scrambled off of V as soon as she heard horrid cracking sounds. Her bones jolted and cracked, looking at first as though they were breaking even further. She soon saw that they were jolting and popping back into place. Her chest stopped shaking, and a little bit of color returned to her face. She slowly rose to a sitting position, taking in a few deep breaths before opening her eyes. 

"V!" Mayu shrieked, crawling back to her. "H-How? How is this...how is this possible?" 

V smiled. "It's alright. Do not worry about me." She turned towards everyone else. "Now, let's take it from the top," Everyone went back into place, as if nothing had happened. Fukase lingered back before going to his place.

"Still think our costumes are so cute?"

Chapter Text

After practice, Al sent Mayu and Luka to fetch local fruit for everyone to eat. It was a cold, gray afternoon, and Mayu's leotard wasn't doing her much good.

It made her nervous to think that, somehow, Al found out about the incident that'd happened that morning. Surely it wasn't a coincidence that she was sent out with Luka. She couldn't discern whether the silence between them was comfortable or tense. 

They found lots of apple trees and blueberry bushes scattered in the brush behind the tent. Mayu noticed that Luka seemed to be struggling a little. 

"Miss Luka, are you alright?" 

"Fine, fine. Go back to work," Mayu could clearly hear there was no venom in her tone, and felt somewhat relieved. 

After gathering all of the fruit that their baskets could hold, the duo went to a little lake just past the forest clearing to wash them. Luka was holding her back, and was struggling to sit beside the water. 

"Miss Luka, are you sure you don't need any help?"

"No, dear. I-I'm fine." she slowly descended and plopped into the soft grass. Her face was flushed, and her breathing was obviously labored. Mayu sat beside her.

"Are you sure you're okay? Is something the matter?"

Luka caught her breath and smiled to herself. "Well, Mayu, you see, I'm actually a Missus."

She held out her hand to Mayu. Her ring finger was adorned in a beautiful, generous jewel. It wasn't a traditional wedding ring either: the band was translucent and white, it's gem a deep blue. 

"Oh! You have a husband? Where is he?"

Luka became hesitant, and rubbed her hands together. She scanned the area around them, and brought her voice to a whisper. 

"Mayu, Do you know anything about the history of this circus?"

Mayu shook her head no.

Luka took a deep breath, and intertwined her fingers tightly. "The circus first started when I was sixteen years old. That's when I was abducted from my mother; I guess it's obvious that I'm not exactly...human. But the audience doesn't need to know that," she took a break for Mayu to process what she'd said. She kept going once she realized waiting for feedback would only make Mayu more confused.

"The circus first began with a freak show involving me, Miku, and the twins. The freak show act was very successful, but soon the maestro decided that he'd wanted a full-fledge circle. We performed, and he began recruiting and abducting more people. One of those people was my husband. He was a normal gentleman, and came from a very wealthy family. Him joining the circus was a spell of rebellion, really."

She paused, and smiled. "And we fell in love. He was able to quit the circus, and he planned to take all of us with him. We all escaped with him one night, and lived in a quaint house in the forest. We were married in that house. Until, of course, the maestro found us. In a bit of rage he..." she trailed off, and collected herself.

"In a bit of rage, he tore the twins apart."

Mayu's heart sank. Her husband's story sounded an awful lot like her own: she came from a substantially wealthy family, but she was unhappy with her life. She wondered why Luka's husband ran away. And, more importantly, her fear and apprehension for the maestro grew.

"Did the maestro hurt you too, Luka? Is that why you're struggling?"

Luka blushed, and her smile returned. "No, this is no ailment. I'm with child."

Mayu's eyes widened. She'd never guessed, especially through the thick, long silks Luka wore.

She lowered her voice. "Does the maestro know?"

Luka hesitated again. "Yes, but he has barely acknowledged it. I'm scared of how he'll react when the child is born. I plan to be out of here by then."

Mayu tried to lighten the mood. "Six months, so I have some time. I'm glad you're somewhat understanding."

Mayu smiled. "Of course. I'm apart of the family now." 

Chapter Text

The afternoon turned to night very quickly. Mayu sat in the grass outside, wearing the black dress she'd arrived in. There were fireflies buzzing about, twinkling gently. She curled her knees against her chest and sighed, trying to get her thoughts together. The smell of autumn in the air brought her some relief. 

All of her thoughts swirled together, coming to form one monotonous, overwhelming presentiment. What was happening? She didn't expect the transition to the circus life to undemanding, but nothing could have ever prepared her for this. For as long as she could remember, she never felt welcomed. She'd never felt like she was living; merely a drifting homunculus. Saying that she didn't want to exist was an over statement, but she still didn't understand the gray area her mind resided in. 

All of the "what ifs?" danced around in her mind. Even if she hadn't made the decision to come to the circus, and had avoided this almost deranged situation, would her life really be different? No, she knew it wouldn't. But at least she felt somewhat welcomed. It didn't make her feel fulfilled, but it was the best she could get. She was undoubtedly selfish, but she justified it with the fact that she came from a troubled household. She still couldn't help but wonder: How bad did these people really have it? 

She never even thought of a situation where anything could be worse than being without love. But what was her idea of love really that important? The people around her were so confusing. The small things she'd heard them suffer through seemed almost fictitious. She couldn't help but believe them, though. Empathy had never come easily to her, but this felt like an entirely different situation, and she wasn't sure how to approach it emotionally. 

She was suddenly snapped from her thoughts, as she saw someone approaching in the distance. He was a very tall, slender figure, wearing a top hat and a long cloak. Mayu stood up, realizing how vulnerable she felt sitting outside alone in the dark. 

"H-hello?" she called out, her voice becoming fainter as her thoughts began to race. 

The person came up, letting her see him in the light. He was a handsome, weathered man, around his late 40s to early 50s. He was terribly skinny, his cheeks sunken in into his face, while the rest of him seemed to be lean. His brown hair framed his face, and frayed to the tips of his shoulders. His velvet purple suit made him look thicker than he was, but still fit him personably. He raised his purple hat, and lowered it politely. 

"Hello, dear. I'll be with you in a moment." his voice was deep and as smooth as vellum. He lips curled into a wry smile, as he headed into the tent. Mayu followed after him. 

As soon as he made him appearance known, everyone became eerily quiet. They were still, and didn't dare to do as much as blink. Their faces paled, their expressions neutral. Mayu couldn't suppress a gasp; could this be the maestro? The feeling of unease was suffocating. 

Could it be? Could this be the maestro?

He scanned the room triumphantly, like a farmer looking over an abundance of crops. He then turned back to Mayu. "So, tell me, what's this lady's name?"

"Mayu, sir." Al said. She'd thought she'd sense fear in a voice so deep. 

"Ah, right. Mayu, the, ah, acrobat, right?"

She simply nodded, never taking her gaze off of him. 

"Mayu, please, follow me," He reached his hand to hover over her lower back, slowly trying to lead her out of the tent. She could hear an uproar of protests behind her, the clattering of heavy shoes and worried cries. The man ignored them all, leading out of the tent and into the woods. 

He led slowly into the woods, making sure to keep the lantern close enough to see her trailing silently beside him. He led her to a plain, wooden cart near a brush. He slowly creaked the door open, and led her in, acting as a normal gentleman. There was absolutely nothing normal about her current situation. 

Inside there was a thick, wooden table. She stood by the entry, wringing her hands nervously. The man slowly ushered her to the table. 

"Miss Mayu, please sit on the table." 

She did as she was told, removing her gloves, intertwining her sweaty hands. The man put a hand on either side of her legs, He leaned his head down to level with her chest, lifting his eyes to look into hers as though he was about to interrogate her. 

"Miss Mayu, how old are you?"

"18, sir."

"Hm." He got up and walked around the table, pacing and halting in front in front of her again. She dared not follow his gaze. She closed her eyes and tried to control her breathing. Her throat began to constrict as the "what ifs" ran through her mind once more. 

Ever so gently, he placed both hands on her shoulders and pushed her to a lying position. She felt as though she were about to go under the knife. He moved the joints in her arms, and bent her knees. 

"Miss Mayu, how flexible would you say you are?'

"I-I'm not sure."

He got onto the table next to her. "Turn onto your stomach, Miss Mayu."

She did so slowly, terrified of what would happen to her. Would he stitch her? Break her bones? Mayu began breathing harder. 

The man slowly Mayu's lower body up to her upper half, to see how far her feet could reach. Her feet touched her face, and once he was satisfied he slowly got off of the table. Mayu held the position on her own. 

"Good! You're doing very good!" he cheered.

Mayu ignored him, only focusing on her breathing. The maestro slowly rolled her body back down, and helped her off of the table. 

"Oh dear, you'll make an excellent addition to our little show!" He laughed as he led her out of the train cart. 

He led her back to the entrance of the tent and bowed. "I'll be off, dear!" he left and disappeared back into the darkness. 

Mayu felt emotionless as she slowly strode into the tent. As soon as she came in, everyone crowded around her. 

"Oh my god, are you okay?"

"What did he do to you?!"

"Are you hurt?"

Mayu couldn't really focus. She smiled and nodded aimlessly, then felt her joints and nerves turn to mush. She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to hold herself up, and failed. She fell to the ground, and didn't wake up for a while. 

Chapter Text

"Oh my god, Mayu!"

She slowly opened her eyes, looking directly into V's. 

"Why are you so frantic?" Mayu asked quietly. She had a terrible headache, and the expression in V's voice didn't make it an easier. 

"Mayu, what happened last night? What...what did he do to you?"

Mayu sat up right and observed her surroundings. She was back in the train cart she was in when she first arrived. 

"Mayu." V pulled her shoulders to face her sternly. "What happened?"

Mayu rubbed her eyes and sighed. "He just like...asked me questions, and flipped my body."

V's eyes grew wide at the implication. 

"Oh, ah, no, not like that. It was more of an inspection. K-kind of like a doctor's appointment?"

V sighed in relief, reaching out to hug Mayu. "If he does anything, please. Tell me if anything happens."

Mayu slowly nodded, returning the hug. She sighed, overwhelmingly happy to receive comfort. They stayed like that for a little while, though Mayu's mind couldn't push away the thick layer of worry for herself. 

They didn't even have the chance to break apart before the cart door swung open. In came in a familiar redhead. Mayu sighed; he was the last person she wanted to see. 

"Oh, good! She's awake. Now we can finally start practice." 

V frowned, rising from her sitting position to tower over Fukase. "She needs more rest. We can practice without her."

"With or without her, bad things are going to happen regardless. We can't shield her from the reality of the circus."

V opened her mouth to form another retort, only for Mayu to interrupt her. "It's okay V. I'll go."

She took Fukase's hand and hopped out of the cart in a poised manner, trying to mask the deepening sense of worry she couldn't shake. 

"Piko will be taking your measurements for your leotard today, so we better get going. We have a lot to do today."

"Oh? I though V was taking my measurements."

"There's been some changes to the schedule. He makes the costumes, anyways, so it's easier this way."

"Ah, I see."

The two stopped in front of the tent. Fukase turned to her, his expression softer than usual. 

"Look, Mayu. Just be careful, alright?"

The cadence in his voice was genuine. Still, this seemed very out of character for him. She couldn't really tell whether he was being sarcastic or authentic. She decided not to think much of his comment.

"Okay. I will." She turned from him and entered the arena. There she saw Piko, with measuring tape draped lazily on his shoulders and spectacles on the tip of his nose. Mayu smiled; he looked like a fashion designer. A pang of normalcy and longing lurked deep in the recesses of her chest. 

"Ah, Mayu! Just the girl I've been looking for. Go change into your practice uniform." She nodded, meekly heading towards the dressing room.

There, she found Flower. "Ah, h-hey," Flower greeted her quietly, as though approaching a small child. It must've been because of the incident that'd happened the night prior. She suddenly felt a twang of embarrassment. 

Mayu smiled in response and left. The fitting went very quickly: waist, arms, bust, and done. She nodded, and left, not taking the time to change out of her leotard. She was surprised to see Fukase still standing there, seemingly waiting for her. She walked off without acknowledging him. He sighed and grabbed her forearm. 

"Mayu, what happened?" 

"What do you mean?" as soon as the words left her lips, she could feel how disingenuous she must have sounded. Her sudden demeanor visibly made Fukase nervous.

"You've...changed since last night."

"Have you been monitoring my behavior?" her tone was more accusatory then she'd wanted it to be, but she didn't back down. 

He gave her a puzzled look. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Mayu's eyes widened, slapping Fukase's hand away. Suddenly, all of her emotions came pooling in the depths of her stomach. She frowned, as a sour feeling began to take over. 

"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?" 

Fukase slowly backed away as Mayu cornered him onto the outer wall of the tent. She laughed, deep and guttural. 

"What ever do you mean, dear?" The tone of her voice completed contrasted that of her expression. Fukase was taken aback; her entire mien had been twisted. This was familiar to him somehow. He hadn't seen this particularly manifest itself in the ways that in manifested in Mayu, but he knew this feeling. 

He sighed, for he knew he was far too tired to deal with the situation. "Mayu, move. We need to get you to Al."

After a deal of protest from Mayu's end, Fukase called upon Al to meet them in the main cart when he had the time. Al was generous enough to see them as soon as he'd heard Fukase had called. 

"Yes, I think I understand what has happened now," he said, staring at Mayu's chillingly still body. She sat upright, with her head hung low.

"Mayu, are you feeling alright?" 

She laughed in return, her voice remaining in the same low, monotonous octave. "Dear, oh dear, I feel it coming again." she began blabbering more nonsense. 

Al sighed, rubbing a hand down his tired face. "I didn't know it could affect someone this long. She was so vulnerable..."

"You mean to say the environment has been...to much for 'er? Is she liked traumatized now or something?" Fukase asked. Al only responded once he heard the genuine curiosity in his voice. 

"What I mean to say is that when Mayu met the maestro, his madness affected her. She's only used to normal, high society. Nothing more. She's damn near shell shocked."

It was rare for the members of the circus to speak about the maestro in technical terms. His madness and discord were something tangible, something infectious. It was something that could be quantified. Something so disastrous and evil, that no one spoke of it, at least not with the worry that the severity of the situation should warrant.

Fukase furrowed his brows. "Is she going to be okay?"

"She should be alright in a few hours, but I suggest someone should look out for her. And since you're already here."

Fukase baulked, acting offended at the very suggestion. "Oh hell now, I am not going to be stuck with his lunatic."

"Everyone else is busy. No one does your job better than you do." Al responded softly, speaking as though Fukase was his much younger brother, of whom was throwing a tantrum. 

"Miku and Luka aren't busy!"

"Miku is watching over Luka."

Fukase groaned, going to shake Mayu violently, her head bobbing unresponsively. She ever so slowly began to open her eyes.

"Oh, there you are," her tone was softer then he'd ever heard it be, but still that almost sickly feeling radiated from her with each word that she spoke. She began laughing, caressing Fukase's face as though he were a child. Al couldn't suppress a chuckle.

"Good luck!" and with that, he was gone. 

Fukase ran his hands down his face dramatically and groaned. 

Mayu caressed his face once more. "Dear, whatever is the matter?"

He knew she was absolutely mad. Still, it made him feel confused. It was like she was manipulating him, without trying at all. 

He moved from his position and got up. "Get up, we're going to the lake."

"Oh? Why are we going to the lake?" 

To throw you into it. Fukase tried to shake the intrusive thought. 

It took a while to get Mayu to the lake. She grabbed him, she yelled, cried, and everything in between. Fukase had never felt more inclined to hit a woman in his life. Still, he remained calm, for he planned to make her someone else's problem. 

"Ah, you've brought your little friend!" Miku chuckled.

"Whatever, I'm more of just a damned babysitter." 

He pushed her off of his arm forcefully, only for her to cling to him again. 

"Poor thing!" Miku said, slowly prying Mayu off of Fukase, and setting her down to sit by the river bank with her and Luka. Fukase joined them, making sure to keep his distance for Mayu. Mayu to began to cling to Miku's arm instead. 

"Oh, my dear. You're so warm. Don't get near the fire," she began babbling more of her incoherent nonsense. Miku only smiled, wrapping her arms around her, showing exceeding patience. 

Fukase spoke up. "Y'know, she really likes you. Why don't you watch over her?"

Miku only laughed. "Sorry, but I'm helping Luka today."

Fukase groaned, and laid out flat on the grass. "Oh no, he's dying!" Mayu yelled. She rushed over to him, and began performing mock CPR. 

"I. Swear. To. God. If. You. Do. Not. Get. Off. Of. Me-" he spoke within each heave Mayu put to his chest. Miku and Luka were of not help, merely laughing at his dilema. 

"My, My! She really is mad~"

That night, Fukase finally convinced Miku to watch after Mayu for a little while, so that he could get a little bit of rest. It was rare for anyone to go sleep at that time, so the cart was completely barren. He laid down and stretched out on the straw floor, finally feeling relaxed. 

"Dear, you mustn't sleep like this. You're far too cold." he heard a voice whisper from the entrance. 

What could she want now? He screwed his eyes shut, pretending to be asleep and ignoring her. 

"Oh dear. I am too late. You've died." her voice suddenly took a somber, soft tone. Fukase began to feel the tiniest twang of guilt. 

She began to sob quietly, lying down and wrapping her body around him. She was a great deal shorter than him, and lighter, so he didn't quite mind her warmth that night. Still, it bothered him deeply when she began to cry onto his shoulder. 

He sighed. The guilt would truly eat him alive if he did nothing. He hesitantly wrapped his arms around her and attempted to comfort her. 

"I'm alive. Don't sob....dear." he cringed at the pet name. He heard Mayu gasp through her tears. 

"Oh, my dear. It's okay to be dead."

What?  That comment through him off. There was no way she could know. Surely, she didn't know. It was a mere coincidence. A disturbing coincidence, but a coincidence at that. 

Still, he couldn't shake that sickly feeling. Could she have known?

Chapter Text

An awful, awful feeling. Aching from all over. Very, very empty. 

Mayu's eyes shot open as she gasped for air. She looked around her frantically. She was very cold; why had she slept in her leotard? She had almost no memory of the day prior. She furrowed her eyebrows, and attempted to sit up despite the ringing in her ears. 

Oh? Immediate panic settled when she felt something rise and bubble in her throat. She scrambled out of the cart, kicking up hay on the floor on her way out. Her cheeks burned with panic and heat. The sick rose despite her best efforts. She ran into the barren forest, continuing until she couldn't hold it down anymore. She vomited, and lay on the ground in exhaustion. 

What in the world did she do yesterday?! She tried to remember. She was measured for her leotard, she was talking to Fukase, and then...blank. Tears formed in her eyes. She had left for the circus for a better life, but she hadn't been able to catch a breath since she'd gotten there. All of the tales of how exhilarating the circus life was, the bonds you form and the lives you get to share, all of the beautiful stories, she understood that she'd most likely never to experience it. She felt so stupid for believing in it. For believing in herself. 

She didn't want to be here, she didn't want to go home, but if she tried to leave...she was now becoming afraid of the maestro. 

"You lost her?" Flower yelled at Fukase, with V and Miku by her side looking just as angry. 

"Th-That's not it! When I woke up, the door was open. She's probably gone somewhere or s-something."

V sighed, gripping the bridge of her nose. "Do you have any idea where she might be?"

"Probably in the woods somewhere, but it's fine! She's a big girl, she can handle it." 

Flower scoffed, having to turn away from Fukase to suppress to anger. 

"What if she isn't in her right mind yet? What if something happened to her?" Miku began to fret. 

V clasped her hands together. "Okay, everyone. Let's not panic. She has to be around here somewhere, let's just go look."

Mayu cried as the crisp wind bit at her skin. Her cheeks and nose were stark red. She felt so numb, so alone. Was this all that she had become? All that she was meant to be? Lying on the ground in a barren forest, inches away from her own sick?

She felt so angry. Angry at herself and at her family. 

She was the result of an affair, and had no idea who her biological father was. She had no surname. Her "Father" remained in the loveless marriage to try to salvage their reputation. Her half sister, Galaco, was the only person in her family that gave her the light of day. Her sister loved her dearly. Though, Galaco wasn't there, her mother was sure to degrade and demean her in anyway she saw fit. All that she was to her was a reminder of what happens when you aren't careful. 

As a child, no other children wanted to play with her. She was born albino, and despite her mother's best efforts to conceal her condition, her piercing eyes could not be hidden. No matter how she tried, no one seemed to like her. She began to dislike herself. But she could always go to Galaco, for she loved her unconditionally. Galaco was very intelligent, and as the years passed by, she excelled academically. The year prior, she was sent to a prestigious boarding school. This left Mayu alone. All alone. Alone with her mother and father, who never cared in the first place. The silence and hollowness she felt so deeply drowned her in a melancholy so thick she couldn't move. Couldn't sleep. Couldn't eat. All she wanted was to feel alive. All she wanted was to be loved. The circus gave her hope.

Now, in this very moment she found herself in, she began to realize that it was all for nothing. Her hopes, her ambitions, any artistic aspiration she once had, all for naught. It was all more nothing. She smiled through her cold tears. Nothing would change. She'd remain this like this for-

Uh oh. 

There was that feeling again. She got and shifted, vomiting again, and slumping back onto the ground. 

"See! Told you she wasn't far!" Fukase saw her in the distance, but as he got closer, he slowed significantly. His eyes grew wide at the state she was in. 

There she was, vomiting. 

"God!" Miku screeched, running over to Mayu. She stopped spilling her guts and turned slowly to her. All that she could manage was a weak smile. 

V and Flower followed suit running to her side. Fukase remained unmoved. He was just starring. He hated this girl. Why did he pity her so? 

"Mayu, I can not allow you to practice tonight." Al said, looking down at Mayu with soft eyes. He was stern, but spoke with honest empathy. 

Mayu gripped the blanket that was wrapped around her. "Al, we travel to do the show tomorrow, I need to make sure I know the routine." Mayu had adapted back to her original, feminine tone. She was feeling better, but felt overwhelmed emotionally. 

Al shook his head. "Your leotard is already made. Preparations have been made for you to be able to practice once we arrive to the performance arena." 

Mayu furrowed her eyebrows. "No, Al. I've got to." She pushed past him and exited the train cart. She felt dizzy, cold, and hungry, but she decided she didn't want to give up. Not yet. She wanted to do something about her situation. 

She rushed into the tent and was met with wide eyes. "Piko, where's my leotard?"

"Love, you need to-"

"Where is it?" her voice wavered on stern, yet friendly. 

Piko was taken aback from her tone, but couldn't help but grin at her assertive attitude. "If you insist." he pointed towards the dressing room. 

She headed to the dressing room with a stern stride, only to soften once she saw her leotard. It was black, embellished with red sequins, with little red ribbons at the hips. She got dressed, and once she returned to the arena, all eyes were on her. Piko looked triumphant, and very proud of his work. The flower sisters looked proud, excited about the new addition to their team. Fukase rolled his eyes. "Can we just practice now!"

Mayu took her time to examine everyone else's costumes. They truly looked amazing! 

The dancers, Piko, Oliver, and the little girl who accompanies him all wore white. Piko's sequins were teal, Oliver's blue, the little girl's red. Luka and Miku, the singers, wore beautiful pink and blue kimonos. And, Mayu admitted, even Fukase looked nice! He wore a long white coat decorated in red, brown pants, and a top hat with a strange animal face on it. Mayu was baffled, but not surprised. 

"Alright, Mayu. Breath, and lean into me." V whispered into her ear. Mayu shuddered at their close proximity, and steadied herself. V swung, causing Mayu to deepen her grip on V's arm. Flower caught her, and she steadied herself on the adjacent pedestal. The spotlight slowly rose to shine on her. The singing stopped, the dancing halted, and Mayu closed her eyes, imagining the crowd's reaction to her debut. 

She smiled wide, climbing down from the pedestal along with the sisters. 

"That wasn't bad, Mayu!" Al said. She was absolutely enamored with his attire. He wore a silky black top hat, and incredibly sequined red coat, and embroidered caligraphy on his white color with his stage name, "Big Al', etched in gold. He looked rather handsome, but held a humble air to him. 

"Yep. Nothing to worry about with this one." V ruffled her bangs affectionately. Mayu's smile weakened a little as she noticed the bruises she'd left on her from gripping her arm. They began to heal in real time, just as they did before. As soon as she began to feel better again, her mind became clouded with uncertainty. It was easy to forget that these people still were strangers to her. 

"Alright, everyone! Let's take it from the top!~"

Chapter Text

It didn't take long for the crew to load all of their equipment onto the travel train. When they saw their personal cart, they were more than disappointed with the accommodations. The cart that they were appointed to — that they all were appointed to — was much like the cart that they slept in. It was larger, and had windows for sunlight, and a straw floor. A few carts over was a room with a heavy, sliding door and a hole in the floor, which they were told they were to use to relieve themselves. Though it was less than dignified, they were grateful for what they were given. 

The trip was two days. At first it seemed as though the long trip was unnecessary for a one night show, this particular area was densely populated. They'd make almost a four time more than if they were to perform locally. This was Mayu's first time on a train in which she wasn't riding first class. She tried not to let her classism show, it'd been easier to hide when the whimsical feeling of the circus life still lingered in her mind, she couldn't hide the disdain on her face. 

They rose at the crack of dawn to leave, the steady rhythm of the train cart lulling everyone to sleep. Mayu was still wide awake, tucked in a cozy, tidy corner with the Flower sisters. The moonlight shown around, glistening across the low-lit lantern. It was peaceful. The fact that she felt happy, even in this situation, made her anxious. She like a lamb, headed straight for the slaughter, without a care in the world, blissfully unaware of what was to come. She eventually let sleep overtake her, slipping into a dreamless darkness. 

The morning of the first full day was lively. Everyone was in high spirits, especially the stitched twins.

"When I was younger," Rin began, "I wasn't a very happy child. The streets are unkind! Len and I, we got into a great deal of trouble. Of course, I was more mischievous then Len ever was." Mayu realized that this was the first time she'd really heard either of the twins speak. Rin's voiced carried a boisterous tone, though her body language was calm.

"We sang songs all the time. Indeed, Rin and I were always reading," Len added. His voice was much softer and meeker than his sister's, but his voice held the same pitch as hers. They were completely in tune, going as far as to finish each other's sentences. 

Oliver began telling stories from his childhood. "When I was small, I loved biscuits! Everyday, I ate biscuits. Mummy told me one day that if I kept eating biscuits, I'd turn into one! I never ate one ever again." Everyone bellowed with laughter. Mayu joined in, only to stop abruptly as the reality of his statement sank in. She had failed to notice how young Oliver was. He still held a proper English accent, letting her know that his family had immigrated very recently. It must hadn't been very long since Oliver had been separated, possibly kidnapped, from his mother. The realization startled her, leaving her feeling a bit mellow. 

She learned a lot more about her fellow crew mates that day. The Flower sisters were orphans, and made ends meet on the streets, allowing people to cut into their body, and watch it heal in real time. They'd never experienced a normal life. Piko had also been an orphan, spending his days working in a factory in a rural community. Al refused to speak much about his childhood, vaguely hinting that his life along the same lines as everyone else's. 

Soon, everyone grew weary, and things began dying down. Mayu starred aimlessly out of the one of the windows, her hair whisping about like a bright halo. She couldn't get the stories she'd heard that morning out of her head. It felt as though it dawned on her every day that these people truly were strangers. The revelation startled her from her comfort every few hours. 

"You haven't gone to sleep yet?" a little, raspy voice called out from behind her. It was Oliver. She smiled to herself, her face remaining towards the window as she addressed him.

"What are you doing up, Oliver?" 

"I could ask you the same, miss."

She shrugged. "I guess I've got a lot on my mind."

Oliver sighed. She turned to him, and saw his lip poked out. "It's so booooring here, miss Mayu! I'm hungry, I feel so tired." He looked down, signing again as the brim of his hat hid his face. He slowly rose his head, showing Mayu a big, toothy grin. "But I'm as happy as can be! Everyone that I love is around me." 

Mayu suddenly felt a stiffening cold assault her nerves. All that she could do was stare at him. A tiny, young boy, in the most peculiar situation, smiling up at her. At a stranger. At someone who mightn't have his best interest at heart (she did, of course, but there was no way for Oliver to really know that.) What a mystery he was. That they all were. 

"Oh! It looks like she's waking up," he turned from her and smiled. Mayu turned to see an even younger girl, wearing red, with small, brunette twin tails. She definitely remembered seeing her before, though she didn't remember catching her name. 

"She becomes restless when she senses I'm away." the little girl latched onto Oliver's arm, following him back to Mayu. She was quiet, and her eyes were fixated on Mayu in an almost feral apprehension. 

"Why don't you smile for Mayu?" The little girl plastered on a smile, flashing abnormally large and sharp teeth. Oliver chuckled at Mayu's baffled expression. 

"Isn't she just wonderful! What a curiosity this one is." He picked up the little girl and began to head back to where she had been nestled. 

"Well miss Mayu, goodnight!"

She smiled. "Goodnight, Ollie." 

Soon after, Mayu herself began to get tired. She went into the seperate cart to use the restroom, but something in the dark corner caught her. The shape of a person, and a large person at that. "Who goes there?" Mayu asked, shaking a bit. The figure slowly rose. Mayu gulped, they were much bigger than she thought. Their purple eyes shone in the light from the small window of the cart. But they didn't look angry. They look worried. "Who are you?" she asked again, speaking in a lower tone than before. The person sighed and walked to the other side of the cart. She could see them a bit clearer. They jumped to sit in the window, and shot Mayu a big smile before jumping out of the window. Mayu gulped. She didn't see much of the person, just a lot of purple.

Mayu didn't sleep very well that night.

Chapter Text

Mayu felt truly exhausted. There was barely adequate space to stretch, let alone exercise her muscles. Her eating was more sporadic than ever, and she was restless. Not being able to escape the situation through sleep, she was weary and quiet. There were two more morning like the one of the first day. Everyone was just as cheerful as the day before, even though they were in the same situation Mayu was in. She chalked it up to it being her very first show, but still...

Even more so, the though of the intruder dressed in purple worried her. The thought of the figure, its large size. Though they had no similarities with that of the maestro, the uncertainty frightened her. 

Before Mayu could truly begin to despair, to her overwhelming relief, they'd arrived. Everyone seemed to be in pretty high spirits, but very aware of their surroundings. Luka seemed more feeble than usual, something that everyone took into mutual, unspoken consideration. All seemed well. 

"I'm glad she's doing alright." Miku spoke softly to Mayu, making small talk while they finished setting up the equipment. 

Mayu smiled. "Me too. I was honestly quite worried."

Miku smiled gently. "That's very kind of you. We're all trying to take good care of her. The baby means everything to her. To us, too."

That sentiment warmed Mayu's heart. They really did behave like a large family. She then remembered Luka's brief mention of her husband, and the dark implication that somehow, he was allowed to escape, and she had to remain in the circus, in these awful, derelict conditions. Her mood was instantly tarnished. 

"I don't see how you all manage to stay so positive."

Miku shrugged. "We just try our best. It's all that we can do."

Fukase chimed in, shamelessly eavesdropping on the two women. 

"She's right! There's no point 'n bringing more negativity into our situation."

Mayu smiled a little, still feeling a bit confused. "You speak so happily, despite everything. I must admit, I admire your attitude."

"Why, thank you."

"Still though. Keeping all of your feelings bottled up like that? Why, you must feel all rotten inside."

Rotten. Why did she have to use that word? He could tell by her tone she was only joking, but still. 

He chuckled a bit, trying to shrug it off. "Well, Miss Mayu, you're certainly right about that. I am all rotten inside. I have been for some time now." 

She laughed. "I mean figuratively, Fukase."

"No, Miss Mayu, I mean literally."

Her eyes went wide for a moment, then she rolled her eyes, assuming it was Fukase's attempt at returning friendly banter, in his own twisted way. 

"Whatever you say, dear." She stood up, dramatically fluffed her petticoats, and strode to the other side of the arena to check on Luka. 

She looked awfully pale, resting on a thin blanket laid on the thick, dry ground. Mayu sat down beside her, offering company. Luka seemed grateful to have here there. 

"How are you feeling?" she asked softly, taking one of Luka's hands in hers. They were clammy, her long fingernails shiny and her finger tips wrinkled. Though she was voluntarily breathing, she kept her composure, and responded. 

"I will be fine. You needn't worry." They continued to sit in comfortable silence, watching as the last touches were being made to the arena. 

The next few days around the tent were exponentially better than the time spent on the cart. They occasionally practiced, but mostly sat around chatting. At night, the beautiful strung lights of the tent's ceiling shone. They danced and were merry. This was Mayu's first time feeling true bliss since she'd arrived. And since they'd gotten there, there hadn't been a single sight of the maestro. 

On one particularly slow night, Mayu sat outside alone, underneath a hefty oak tree. She let her mind wonder to her family; she couldn't help it. Even though they were less than kind to her, she couldn't help but miss their familiarity. How had her sister, Galaco, reacted when she arrived home for the weekend and found that her little sister wasn't there? And her parents, how had they responded to this? How she missed her sister. On nights like this, the yearning was feasible, and painful. Mayu began to cry silently into her hands. She had made friends like she'd wanted; at least, she considered them her friends. She curled her legs to her chest. She felt lonesome, and the autumn breeze was only a physical reminder of it. 

"What is it that you wanted help with?"

Oliver scratched his head with childless confusion. "Oh, I don't need need the help. It's the Flowers, they're in the tent waiting for you." 

Mayu nodded, and headed for the tent. Their lax schedule sometimes made her forget her responsibilities. The ground was covered in orange leaves. She came to the unsettling realization that it was about to get very cold very soon. The leaves made an uncomfortable noise beneath her feet, and the crisp wind seemed to suck the air right from her lungs. She wasn't very fond of this time of year. 

The Flowers greeted her immediately. 

"There's been a slight change of plans to the routine," V began, "The contortionists and dancers will her directly under us, instead of circling us, which means we need to take extra precautious measures." 

When they practiced this time, Mayu's heart pounded as she looked down from the pedestal. She hated the idea of them being beneath her, with no net to separate them. V held onto Mayu's waist, digging her fingers deep into the skin of her side. She got as close as she could to Mayu's ear, making her shiver. 

"See it as gliding across a cloud, Mayu. Everything will be alright." 

She knew V was trying to make her feel better, but she couldn't help the shaking in her legs. She blushed, feeling V's body flush against hers. She met eyes with Miku on the ground, holding a microphone, looking just as anxious as Mayu felt. She knew that every step Miku took in her costume was paralyzing agony, but she still took the time to show her concern. This gave Mayu courage. 

She took a deep breath, and signaled to V that she was ready. V swung off, and Mayu closed her eyes. Before she knew it, she was on the other pedestal, grasping onto Flower. The performers from below began clapping for her. She saw that even Fukase began to smile. She hugged Flower tight, her body wrapped around her tight as she swung her to the other platform with V. 

For the rest of the night, Mayu stayed with Miku and Luka. She mainly watched their conversation unwind, which she found fairly entertaining. They laughed and chattered like little girls. Like old friends. 

"Oh, Mayu!" Miku began, "Has Luka told you about her marvelous husband? Oh, I miss when he was here! They were attached by the hip from the beginning. They just couldn't keep their hands off of each other! Well, I suppose that's rather obvious now." Luka lightly pushed Miku, the trio bursting into small giggles.

"Mayu!" 

Everyone was caught off guard by the sudden outburst. She turned slowly, horrified of who had called upon her. It was the maestro, standing ominously in the entrance. She slowly approached him, glancing back a few times at Miku and Luka. They tried to look reassuring, but look more pained than anything. 

"What is it?" 

"I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you!" he spoke with dramatic enthusiasm, which greatly confused Mayu. 

"W-what do you mean?"

"I look forward to seeing you perform tomorrow! Be sure not to let me down." He left the same way he came, disappearing into the darkness. 

Her mood deteriorated. That night she slept under the large oak tree, weeping in silence.

Chapter Text

The humongous, red and white tent stood high and mighty. It was night, about 9 o'clock, and people were still filing in to see the show. Mayu sat backstage, complete in her costume and makeup, her leg shaking anxiously, rattling the vanity table. They had about twenty minutes until the show officially began, each tick of her clock worsened her nerves. She wrung her hands together, breathing slowly to ground herself. 

"You nervous?" she jolted as a hand touched her shoulder. She looked up, meeting Fukase directly in the eyes. She gulped; she'd never seen him smile so genuinely. For a moment, she'd forgotten her anxieties. He ducked down so that his voice was hushed against her ear.

"You shouldn't be. We'll all be there for you." and with that, he was gone. She froze, closing her eyes as a different kind of apprehension. She slowly stepped out into the hallway, draped in the darkness of the rest of the backstage area. Rather than seeing Fukase flitting away, she was met with a figure that was most unexpected. She recognized their cologne. They wore a hood, and they were dressed in purple. To her horror, it was the figure from the train cart. 

"H-hey, you can't be back here!" she gathered her courage and followed the figure down the hallway. They seemed to not have heard her, for they didn't react at all. Her heart lurched as she saw it peer into Luka's personal room. She heard a loud gasp, and rushed into the room. 

To her relief, and confusion, Luka held the person in a tight embrace. They removed their hood, revealing long, lavender locks. He was a tall, rather handsome man. From their reaction to each other, she assumed it was her husband. Their fingers laced, his other hand caressing her lower back. Luka noticed Mayu in the doorway.

"Mayu! I'd like you to meet my husband. Gakupo, this is the girl that I wrote to you about." He dropped Luka's hand, and offered her a polite, seated bow. 

"It is a pleasure to meet you. I am excited to see you perform tonight. Luka speaks very highly of you." 

"T-the pleasure is all mine, truly."

She studied the two. Gakupo was quite handsome, but looked completely normal. How did someone like him end up in a place like this? Telling by the way he spoke, she assumed his background was similar to her own. She gave a little curtsey, and hurried back to her own room to give them their privacy. Moments later, she heard V's yelling in the hallway. She rose so fast her stool fell over.

"Places everyone! We're on in 5 minutes!" V was clapping her hands down the hallway, everyone's personal doors swinging open as they flooded into the corridor leading to the main stage. This was the moment she'd been waiting for since she'd arrived. She was absolutely terrified, but had never felt this much excitement in her life. 

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The cast made their way to the arena, standing on the sides as they waited to enter. Mayu looked at the bleachers. There were so many people that they practically sat on top of each other. Some of the attendants sat inside the bleachers, peering out between people's legs. The elaborate lights in the ceiling began to strobe, driving the crowd to madness. The uproar was near deafening, which only excited her even more. This was it. This what she had waited for, what she had been yearning for. Even though she had been starved, was cold for many days, was left to abide in squalor, she found happiness within it all. She almost shed a tear. The other performers entered the arena gracefully. The lights went out, and the roar silenced to muttering and anxious laughter. 

The elegant music began to play, with Luka front and center. Her elegant voice rang through the tent. Mayu was able to spot Gakupo in the crowd, in the center of the bleachers that faced the stage. He looked at his wife with such passion in his eyes. Now Mayu understood. She understood how her castmates kept their composure through it all. Mayu's heart hammered in her chest. She couldn't take her eyes off of the show, Miku now joining Luka on the stage. They were absolutely mesmerizing. The crowd gasped at Miku's visible legs. They were a horrible sight, but Mayu focused away from them. She focused on the light. On the beauty of it all. 

Once the first song finished, the spotlight landed on the dancers and the contortionists. Their clothes listened in the light. It was like a dream. She couldn't keep her eyes off of how impressive the contortionists were, and a certain contortionist at that. Fukase looked happy. Genuinely happy. She began to breath harder at the sight, light headed in absolute awe. 

Then, V and Flower ascended to the pedestals of the trapeze. This was her moment. She cartwheeled into the arena from the side, and the entire crowd gasped. Her black and red leotard glistened in the light, her updone hair swayed, her head ornaments swung and jingled as she leapt to the trapeze ladder. The crowd went wild. Mayu smiled from ear to ear as V clung to her waist. V's breath on Mayu's neck made her shiver.

"Are you ready?" V whispered. Mayu didn't answer. She couldn't. She felt motionless as she waited to swing to Flower. V lifted off, Flower holding her arms out to catch her. Mayu swung, reaching to catch and land in Flower's embrace, but she slipped. The crowd gasped. Everything was going down.

Down. 

                                     Down.

                                                                                Down. 

Until...

Chapter Text

....Huh?

Mayu slowly opened her eyes, struck with a harsh pounding in her skull. Her ears were ringing with the sound of the excitement from the arena. It echoed and accumulated into loud, enraptured hollering. She hadn't even noticed the pale, shaking arms that firmly held her. There Fukase was, looking just as anxious and confused as she did. He was fixated on the crowd, turning his head towards her once her eyes opened. They stared at each other for a few, beating moments. They looked back at the crowd, smiling and waving, as though the entire situation was intentional.

After their last curtseys and bows, the crew ran backstage. Fukase ran with Mayu's hand in his, stopping them abruptly in the middle of the dark hallway. He looked concerned, almost pained, caressing her face, his eyes shot. 

"Are you okay? You aren't hurt, are you?" he was frantic, his voice catching in his throat. She couldn't help but laugh at him a little.

"I'm fine! Truly. I can't thank you enough. I-" she began, until she noticed the harsh, purple bruises on Fukase's forearms. 

"Fukase! Are you-"

Their moment was stopped abruptly by the rest of the crew catching up to them. They were screaming, squealing, and jumping at their success. Fukase joined in immediately, Mayu shortly after, the both of them completely forgetting their shocked nerves just moments before. 

That night, the crew spent their time in the secondary tents to enjoy the tenderness of the feeling of success. It was lively before they'd even arrived to the tents, the conversation bustling on their walk there. 

"Mayu! You did so well!" Flower said, held her in a tight hug. 

"Thank you. Of course, I couldn't have done it without my pal here." she nudged Fukase playfully. He stared at her a while and smiled. She was surprised he didn't have a sly remark to throw her way. 

There was high anticipation as Mayu approached the tent; she had been informed prior that the maestro would treat them with a real meal if they had been successful. 

"That little part in the end was a nice touch. You were very lucky that he was there to catch you, though." V said, a tone of worry in the latter part of her sentence. 

"That's going to start all kinds of drama." Al said with a laugh.

Mayu turned to him. "What do you mean?"

"Well, we run a bit of a facade. We put on more than a just a show here."

Piko caught up with the rest of them.

"Oh, yes. Our audiences will think he has eyes for you, dear Mayu. Our next show will have to have a routine to accommodate to that."

Mayu blushed. She couldn't decide whether the though of that kind of routine made her uncomfortable or not. 

✬✬✬

"I'm so proud of all of us!" Miku squealed as she began setting the table for everyone. A large feast had been prepared for them, adorning decorative round tables sprinkled along the sides of the tent. In the middle was a long, square table for them to sit and congregate. 

Mayu had already found her seat at the table, sandwiched between the two Flowers. Miku waited for everyone to be seated before uncorking a hefty bottle of champagne. The foam bubbled over, spraying a few of the crew members, not that they minded one bit. Quite the contrary, it was a feeling of basking in the glory. The sudden sense of gluttony overtook them all. 

Miku began pouring glasses for all of them. Mayu was a bit nervous. To her irritation, in this moment, the faces of her parents flashed by in her mind. What would they think of her partaking in champagne? She figured she'd be over something so menial by now, but the guilt still lingered. 

She nudged V beside her. "I've never had champagne before.." she whispered. It was exactly what she'd planned to say, but there was a hard knot in her throat she couldn't suppress. 

Flower only chuckled. "Don't worry, even Oliver drinks it."

She turned to witness Oliver unceremoniously pouring two champagne glasses at once down his throat. 

She gulped. "I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try..."

Miku handed her a glass and winked. "Go ahead, you've earned it!"

She swirled her glass once or twice before taking a small sip. The bitter-sweetness hit her tongue, her eyes shooting open. She loved the taste, immediately slurping the rest of her glass down.

"That's the spirit!" V said, hitting harder on the back then Mayu expected. 

"Pass a plate everyone!" Luka began passing down stack after stack on the oversized table, making sure that none of the food would go to waste. 

Was this happening? Was this real?

The feeling of familiarity and comfort washed over her. The beautiful lights strung in the ceiling of the tent. The sound of the crickets outside, who would soon be away from the cold. The clatter and laughter of her fellow crewmates- her friends. It was overwhelming. She felt so alive. 

"Oh, Mayu you must try this!" Oliver passed over a delectable plate of bunny-shaped pastries. 

"Mayu, have you ever tried this before?"

"Oh, Mayu! Here, try this!"

She couldn't help but laugh, she wanted to try absolutely everything. 

"This all looks so wonderful! Who could have possibly made all of this?" Mayu asked innocently. 

Everyone quieted, and it was more solemn than awkward. Miku wrung her hands nervously.

"Well, technically the maestro made this for us...for doing a good job." Oliver finally answered sheepishly. 

"Oh?" 

"He's right." V spoke up. "We did what was needed. We must stay vigorous so that we may perform so diligently again." 

Everyone went silence once more, staring at Mayu. She looked down into her plate, and everyone resumed as if this was a normal situation. This time, Mayu let herself go along with it. 

That night was the most Mayu had eaten in weeks. She hummed to herself as she sat just outside the tent, enjoying the sight of fireflies as the last few days of Autumn faded away. The liveliness of the tent began to slowly die down. Oliver and the little girl were fast asleep on the floor. V and Miku were both singing through their hiccups. Luka was sitting and chatting while Piko listened intently and braided her hair. 

Mayu slowly rose to go back inside before being stopped. 

"Where are you going?" Flower asked, with large, curious eyes. Mayu suddenly felt flustered. 

"I was just getting some fresh air." 

Fukase followed suit behind Flower. Without acknowledging either of them, he sat where Mayu had been previously planted, staring at the open night sky.

Flower rolled her eyes. "He's about to get all sentimental. I'd leave now while you have the chance, Mayu." she disappeared back into the tent. She slowly turned to face Fukase's back. His knees were up to his chest, his back slumped and lax. The light emitting from the tent glistened off of his costume. She sat down next to him. 

His face was filled with a burning yearning, while also seeming completely content. He was unreadable. 

"Hello, Mayu." he said gently, keeping his gaze on the stars. She hadn't at all realized she was staring until he said her name. She was snapped out of her trance, her cheeks heating in embarassment. 

"I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to-"

He chuckled a little. "It's quite alright." She nodded, and they fell into a comfortable silence. 

"The sky is beautiful tonight, isn't it?" His voice sounded strained. Had he been crying?

"Yes, indeed." 

The wind began to pick up. Mayu tried desperately to keep her eyes on the eyes, lest she make things awkward again. 

"I can tell there's something on your mind." he said, speaking softly again. She worked up the courage to face him again. He'd turned as well. Her voice caught in her throat.

"A-ah, yes. That dinner it just...threw me for a loop." 

"I can see how that can be confusing. It's, ah, a long story. But I think that you should focus less on that. Especially on that. You had fun, right?"

Mayu hated when her crewmates would change the subject like that, but tonight she decided not to press any farther. 

"Yes, I did. And I want to formally thank you for earlier. I'd be as good as dead without you."

He smiled, tipping his hat downward to hide his face. "Don't mention it. And hey."

He held his hand out to her.

"I'll always be here for you. We're family now."

Mayu wasn't hesitant this time. She eagerly reached out to shake his hand. 

The sky was beautiful. The wind felt so good. The show was absolutely grand. The food was delicious. The warmth of his hand sent tingled down her spine.

Now she understood. This moment right here. Made everything worth it.

Chapter Text

"Mayu, are you awake?" 

Her entire body jolted, feeling as though she'd just gone through an extensive session of CPR. She slowly craned her neck, realizing she was lying flat on her back in the middle of the forest. Her body was cold, and visibly blue in some places. She was wearing nothing but her practice leotard in wool cardigan kind of weather. What really baffled her was that she had no recollection of how she even ended up outside. There was at least a 16-hour gap in her memory. 

She stared up at V as consciousness slowly began to seep back in. Her body felt numb and sore, but she paid no mind. 

"How long have I been here?"

V's brows furrowed. "I'm not sure. Miku was the first notice that you hadn't been to practice today. She came out to look for you, but when she saw you like this...she thought that the worst had happened." 

Surprisingly, this wasn't a foreign situation to Mayu. As temperatures dropped, her body would become cold as ice. Her skin would look almost translucent, her veins becoming more prominent than normal. When she was younger, her mother would apply as much powder as she could to her face, and she wore bonnets the circumference of dining room tables to hide her face. She never had an explanation for it, and what didn't help was how corpse akin she'd look when she slept. Still, the forest?

"Where did Miku go?"

"Running to me. She couldn't bare the sight, but I didn't want to presume you dead. So I came to look for you myself."

Mayu slowly prompt herself up and sat on her knees. Her entire body was stiff and ached. 

"V...could you help me?"

V's face reverted back to its indifferent mask and she bent down and scooped Mayu up bridal style with surprising ease. Mayu was a little flustered, squeezing her arms around V's neck. They looked at each other a little while, V hardly blinking. 

"Are you alright?" she asked, almost under her breath. 

"I-I think so..."

Mayu stood outside the tent entrance, wringing her dry hands. She was nervous to face everyone again. 

"C'mon Mayu." V said softly, taking her hand and slowly leading her inside. 

Everyone was doing their own thing, some of them practicing, some of them lounging in the bleachers. Mayu spotted Miku, and slowly made her way closer. Miku's head shot up as they locked eyes. Mayu's heart dropped, and she couldn't imagine just how pale she looked right now. Miku's eyes reflected the light, the deep blue hue looking mournful given the circumstances. Her expression changed by the second, her brows furrowing, her bottom lip shaking; she was trying to make sense of it all. After a few moments, Miku lunged out with open arms. 

She embraced Mayu, her warm tears falling on her shoulder. Mayu stood still. 

...What?

A warm embrace. It wasn't something she'd thought about recently, but she couldn't remember the last time she'd been embraced. Mayu returned the hug with equal intensity. Her stomach reeled thinking about how worried Miku must have been. Miku slowly let go, holding her by her shoulders and smiling. 

"A-are you okay, Mayu? What happened?" her weak voice croaked. The other performers began to circle around them. 

V tapped on her shoulder. "Mayu, we're all really worried. We'd really like an explanation, if you have one." 

She scanned the crowd. V was right, there was deep concern written on everyone's faces. She looked down at her arms and legs. Her knees were purple. The veins in her arms were prominent. Her skin, so fragile, so cold. 

"I...I really don't know. It's just always been this way, and I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to startle anyone-" she went on and on, her nerves getting the better of her. Tears began to form in her eyes. V could tell how distressed she was getting, and placed a firm hand at the base of her back. Mayu shivered, eventually relaxing under everyone's gaze.  A faint bit of warmth crept onto her cold face. 

Luka spoke up. "It's okay. We'll save our questions for later, right now you just need to rest."

She led her out of the tent, and into the shared train cart. She led to her a cozy corner, laid her to rest, and draped a battered blanket on top of her.

"Please don't hesitate to ask for anything, alright?"

"Alright..." Mayu barely registered what Luka said as her lashes slowly began to flutter, trying to desperately to fight the exhaustion. It caught up to her eventually. 

Practice that evening was planned out to be as simple as possible. Everyone was a little stressed and uneasy after the morning's scare. Mayu headed off to the dressing portion of the tent. She loved the authenticity of it, from the deep purple drapes on the walls, to the big show mirror, and the stringed lights in every corner of the walls. It felt warm. It felt like home. 

She began to undress, but soon after someone burst into her stall. She shut her eyes right as the door swung open. With the faintest scent of hickory smoke and vanilla, she knew exactly who it was. Fukase. 

He grasped onto her waist, examining her as though he were searching for something. 

"What are you doing in he-" she began to whisper through gritted teeth before he palmed her mouth. 

"You're hiding something from us. I know it." an accusatory sentence, but his voice was kind. 

"Wait, wait! Stop!" she pushed him off her, holding her hands up in mock surrender. 

"W-what is it that I could be hiding?" 

He looked so determined, it seemed he didn't even hear her question. 

"Mayu, just-" He wrung the back of his neck. "I've got to know." 

He slowly approached her, his hands in view and his eyes gentle. She nod, and stilled her shaking. He wrapped his hands behind her back, unclasping her leotard, making her cling the fabric to her body desperately. His hands wandered on the skin of her back, making her shiver. She searched his face, and he looked unscathed. His hands wandered to the left side of her chest. He looked up at her for permission. 

"W-wait." she bit her lip. "I-I have this scar."

His eyes lit up. He pulled some of the fabric down, and revealed a small black, twisted scar that contrasted harshly with her skin. His breath hitched in his throat. 

Fukase unbuttoned his shirt to the bottom of his sternum. She examined, looking to him for some sort of explanation. His eyes never left hers as he did it. She wanted to look away, but she couldn't seem to. Her grip on the fabric tightened. 

A placed a hand to his chest and revealed his skin. She had to suppress a gasp. What the hell? How was this real?

There was a scar. A small, twisted, black scar directly over his heart. He slowly approached her and moved her hands from her chest. His expression began to soften more, a light blush circling his freckles. "Mayu, I-"

Before he could utter another word, the stall door swung open. It was Piko, and he looked very unhappy. 

"What is all this racket?! For heaven's sake, why on earth a-" he began to rant, ignoring the state they were in. 

His words began to falter as he looked the two up and down, still clinging to one another. 

"I'm quite sorry. I didn't mean to intrude. Just, keep it down." he smiled.

Mayu's eyes widened as she snapped back to reality. She pushed him off, making him fall to the floor. 

"Don't worry yourself, Piko. He was just leaving." 

Mayu couldn't sleep that night. She was so confused, and she had so many questions. She didn't even know what she didn't know. She looked over at Fukase, who was sleeping soundly. She brushed her hand against her chest. It was almost like she could still feel his fingers ghosting over her skin. It was the first time she'd ever had a feeling emit from her scar. It felt like two heartbeats. The steady rhythm eventually led her to doze, into a deep, deep slumber. 

Chapter Text

"Mayu, pull your bonnet down!" Her mother yanked her bonnet down to veil her face. It was winter, and Mayu's father had an appearance to make in the inner city. Mayu trailed behind her mother, her breathing uneasy; the idea of being seen by a crowd of people horrified her. She looked over at her sister. Galaco was wearing soft wool earmuffs, sticking her tongue out to catch snowflakes. Her tan skin was pink in the cold. Her colorful head of brunette and neon hues looked beautiful in the icy lighting of the afternoon. She looked so free. Mayu smiled to herself. Her sister's happiness was enough for her. 

Her black bonnet and veil were itchy, but they concealed her. Kept her safe. No one would suffer the displeasure of looking at her sunken-in, piercing amber eyes. No one would have to see her blue nose and purple lips. Her gloves concealed her bruised knuckles, for she became increasingly weak in the wintertime. No one would have the misfortune of seeing the snow build up on her white eyelashes, making her look even more alien. No one would have to look at her small, cold frame. No one. 

Mayu awoke to a feverish chill in the air. She tried to look around, her eyes slowly trying to adjust to the darkness. She could no longer feel the warmth of her fellow circus mates sleeping beside her. She was in an unfamiliar train cart, completely alone, completely naked. She palmed the floor, eventually reaching a wall. The bare wood paneling hurt her soles. She made it to the other side of the room and palmed the wall. It was glass, and her eyes adjusted to looking in the mirror.  

None of this felt right. 

A bright light illuminated behind her. Mayu whipped around. There stood a masked figure holding a large lantern. In the blink of an eye, the lantern was broken on the ground, and the perpetrator was nowhere to be seen, leaving a growing flame in their absence. 

Mayu's heart sank into the depths of her soul. The fire was spreading rapidly. She ran past it towards where the perpetrator entered, but the door was closed shut, and the brass latch was far too hot to touch. She burned her hands terribly trying to open the door. 

"H-help! Help me!" She screamed, pounding on the door. 

It just kept getting hotter. She knew that the flame was about to engulf the entire cart, with her in it. Her feet and calves were covered in splinters and burns, she could feel the skin from the corners of her mouth peel away as the oxygen dissipated. Her eyes burned and watered and she began to cough uncontrollably. She kept screaming, pounding the ground on her hands and knees, to no avail. Her once porcelain skin turned a nasty, charred red. She took in one last breath as the flames engulfed her body. 

Chapter Text

"How long has she been out for?" 

"About a week or so. If she doesn't wake up soon, we'll have to postpone the next show." 

V sighed, unintentionally scowling as the frustration and worry sept in. Mayu's body was in a large box in the back of the dressing room, having been covered in ice and snow. When her body was first found, it was a mangled, melted mess. The smoke billowed from the cart until the early morning. Luka was the first to notice the harsh smell and the smoke, and everyone else followed. The smell of burned flesh and hair struck the crew members into a tumultuous frenzy; screaming, crying, yelling, the works. Al and Fukase had to keep everyone calm, Fukase knowing surprisingly well exactly what to do with her body. 

It wasn't difficult to predict who'd started the fire. But still, she'd performed so well just days prior. What was his motive? Surely, there was some method to his madness. This entire situation was a harrowing reminder of how dire their situation truly was. The rose-stained glasses that'd been placed over their eyes from the success of the show were shattered. 

There was hope. Slowly, but surely, her skin was healing. There were almost no signs of burns, and her hair had grown back to its original length. Doubts regarding whether Mayu was human or not were quelled during this event. Still, no one knew the extent of what she was. 

The days without Mayu felt solemn and grim. The sky remained a light, hazy gray. Time didn't seem to pass anymore, for the worry for Mayu and the show persisted. If they couldn't heal Mayu, then they might end up suffering similar fates as her. Their patience was slowly withering away. 

Al and V stood over her motionless body in deep thought. 

"Al?"

"Yes?"

She hesitated. "What do you think Mayu...is?"

"I'm unsure. At first, I thought she was just some young lady. But after being frozen, and burned alive...I can't say I have any clue what she is." He rested his hand on his chin, clearly lost in thought. 

V sighed, and left the dressing room. She met with Flower in the arena. Her head perked up.'

"Is she better?"

"Much better. We're not sure when she'd going to get up, though. Fukase scolded us not to rush her, but still..."

"Everything Fukase has told us up til now has been beneficial. We should probably take his word for it." 

"I'm just worried we'll have to postpone the show...all Luka has had to eat is fruit."

"Luka's tough. She seems to be doing fine. Fukase on the other hand-he's just so tense."

Fukase was in his personal dressing room, staring into the mirror. His heart ached, he felt as though he'd been thrown into deep mourning. He clenched his fists; he felt so worthless in this situation. The cracks and stitches that lined his arms began to ache. A knock on the door disrupted his thoughts. 

Piko slowly waltzed into the room, his long pink robes flowing behind him; his hands folded, and his eyes holding familial kindness. 

"You shouldn't spend your time brooding like this."

Fukase sighed. He was known to be a bit moody, but this was new. "I just have a lot on my mind..."

Piko crossed his arms. "And I understand that. But it's unlike you to become such a shut-in. You haven't seen the light of day all week." 

Fukase smiled. "Yeah, you're right. I-"

The hair on the backs of their necks stood upright as soon as they heard his voice. It was immediately followed by shouting and the crashing of furniture. 

"Please, please!" came the harsh cry of Miku. There was a loud crash, and they could only assume the worst. 

Fukase rose to his feet, Piko hot on his heels. They stood before the entrance of the large, shared dressing room. Miku was in the corner holding her head, Luka kneeling down to tend to her. Deeper into the room were Al and V, desperately trying to prevent him from reaching her. Fukase pushed through his fellow cast members and grasped onto the maestro's arm, but he was too late. It all seemed to happen in slow motion. 

Luka and Miku defeated in the corner. The rest of the cast members panicked and watching in horror. Al, Flower, and Fukase reaching out, praying to help a motionless Mayu. The lights flickering, illuminating the maestro's weathered, torn features. Truly, an unintentional Baroque painting. 

He pushed forward enough to pull Mayu's arm. Her eyes shot open, and a sickening crack echoed throughout the room. 

𓆩♡𓆪

𓆩♡𓆪

𓆩♡𓆪

Hello?

Are you there?

Do you feel that?

...is that really me?

Mayu shot upright, panting and aghast. She looked around her, but couldn't make out anything around her in the darkness. Her body seemingly jolted on its own, horribly traumatized from what happened in the train cart. She scrambled to her feet, frantically waving her arms about. The hay on her feet let her know it was a train cart, the wood smelling fresher than usual. She crouched down on her hands and knees, palming the ground. She grasped onto something warm. It felt like one of her show mate's calves. She was overwhelmed with relief. She crawled closer to the person, lying her head down on what she assumed was their lap. She closed her eyes, and drifted back to sleep. 

What is that?

Right there, I see it! 

Mayu, what is that? 

What happened to you, Mayu? 

Mayu woke up again, this time in a cold sweat. She woke up to many eyes staring back at her. 

"Mayu, we need to go practice." Miku squeaked, seeming very uneasy. She had a small bandage on her forehead. Mayu tried to remember the days leading up to this moment, but her mind went blank. It was the fire, and then....just white space. 

"Come and join us when you're ready. We'll be waiting." Al said softly. The rest of her show mates exited the cart, leaving Mayu alone on the hay floor, covered in a heavy quilt. 

Mayu stared off into space for a while, letting the sunshine from the cracks soak into her skin. Her body felt stiff under the blanket, yet calm. She strangely felt safe. 

After a while, she slowly got up off of the floor, struggling slightly to keep her balance. She looked down at her body; her cream-colored leotard fitting loosely on her skin. Have I lost weight? Her eyes made their way across her whole body, and widened as she stared at her arms. There along her left arm was a long, thin "crack" extending from her bicep to her elbow. She traced her fingers along it. It didn't hurt, but she'd never seen anything quite like it on her body before. It looked almost...porcelain. 

She decided to subside her confusion for now and head to practice. She felt lighter as she strode to the tent, with seemingly nothing worrying her mind. Still, as the minutes passed, her body began to feel heavier. As if the remnants of the person she used to be were slowly beginning to sink back in. Like...before the fire?

.......did I die?

Mayu audibly gasped, pushing the startling revelation aside. She entered the tent, and everyone was doing their usual tasks. They'd changed their next act slightly, and in about three days they'd be back on the road. She was excited about the show. 

Still, horrible imagery flashed across her mind. Her skinned hands, bare scalp, and absent lips as the fire scorched every inch of her skin. She remembered the feeling of hopelessness. That feeling of despair, she just couldn't shake it away. 

She went to the Flower sisters, who seemed to be their usual selves. 

"Should we take it from the top? Or should we begin from a specific part?" Both of their expressions softened. Flower seemed especially distressed. 

"M-Mayu, I-"   V quickly raised a hand to Flower, shushing her instantly. Flower bit her lip and nodded, leaving them on the ground as she climbed the trapeze. 

"We can start from your specific part. Though, you will be spending a lot more time practicing with Piko than with us."

Mayu raised a brow. "What do you mean?"

Piko met them with a warm smile. "You will have a dance routine with one of your good friends." He teased, pointing over to an unsuspecting Fukase. 

The impossible occurred. Mayu became paler than she already was. 

"C-come again?" Mayu asked. V and Piko laughed.

"Fukase!" Piko called him over. His head perked up, and his eyes went wide at the sight of Mayu. He ran over to her. She braced herself, thinking he was rushing over to berate her. She was caught completely off guard and he enveloped her in his arms. He squeezed her tight, and it was over almost as soon as it'd happened. He held her by her shoulders, his voice low.

"How are you feeling?"

"I-I'm alright, I-"

"Great! So we can finally practice this shit." his regular demeanor returned as though nothing had happened. Piko shrugged, ushering Mayu to the center of the arena. 

Mayu surely didn't have two left feet, but she was less than experienced in the realm of dance. The routine was truly simple; Fukase and Mayu were to engage in a somewhat sensual waltz to the melody of Miku and Luka's song. As the song began to slow, she was to reluctantly twirl away from him and go up the trapeze, dramatically swinging and falling, ultimately landing in a bed of flowers in Fukase's arms. Sounded easy enough, right? 

Fukase's face was monotonous throughout the entire practice until the very end of the night. 

"Piko...I'm just not getting it!" Mayu panted, having practiced all day. She was very surprised at how patient the two were with her, but she still didn't want to press it. 

Piko only smiled. "Do not worry Mayu! You will get it, in due time. I'm going to call it a night. We'll resume in the morning!" Piko bowed and headed to join the rest of the crew mates lounging and socializing outside.  

Mayu sighed, turning to Fukase, suddenly shy. 

"Fukase, I'm sorry. I know you're probably tired."

He shrugged. "We can keep practicing if you want." He held out his hand, his eyes still patient. He was becoming increasingly harder to read. Not that Mayu was curious, or anything. 

She hesitated before slowly taking his hand. They went slower this time, feeling more comfortable this time without Piko breathing down their necks. He held her gently, their fingers intertwined as they made their way through the waltz. Mayu stepped on his toe once or twice, gently apologizing, Fukase paying no mind. They made it to the part where Mayu was to sashay away, Fukase reaching out for her in desperation. They stayed in that position for a while, staring at each other, their faces not cracking from the facade. A part of Mayu felt like it was only partially a facade; that there was some genuine emotion to make her feel such desperation. Maybe not from him, but for the situation in general. 

They dropped their positions and sighed.

"That was good." Fukase said smiling a little. He walked over to Mayu, his eyes fixated on her left arm. She made a half-assed attempt to hide it behind her back. 

"Indeed." she said softly.

His eyebrows furrowed. "Are you really okay, Mayu?"

She sighed. "I'm...as okay right now as I can be."

Fukase grabbed her hand. "C'mon, let's change that."

He gently led her outside to where everyone was settled. The mood was lively and cheery. Mayu happily sat amongst them, chatting the night away. Whatever memories she'd lost could wait. She could indulge in the comfort and warmth of her friends right now. She could keep everything buried inside, and think only of the future. The future she had with the circus. 

Chapter Text

The days before the next show all blurred together. Piko worked his dancers relentlessly. They mostly paid him no mind, excluding Mayu, whose feet ached every night after practice. The trapeze regime was the least of her worries this time. In the night, Fukase would come to her quietly in the train cart, gently asking her if she'd like to practice before sunrise. She told herself that she was doing it out of nerves; she wanted the show to be absolutely perfect, and she couldn't afford any more mistakes. But those late nights and those early, early mornings felt almost worth it. The string lights were turned off, the only source of light coming from one, lowly lantern. They'd take in painstakingly slow, whirling around, and Fukase would go over the steps as many times as he had to, never losing his patience with her. He was mesmerizing during those late practices. In the morning, he'd go back to his old, cynical self. But she liked that too. 

Piko, Miku, and Luka worked tirelessly on the costumes. The audience was thrilled by their use of sequins and lighting during their last show. This time, they'd utilize the sequins and add another pleasant theme: flowers. On the trapeze, on the dancers, on the arena floor. The entire tent would exude enticing aromas, creating a luscious, peaceful environment. 

The final product of the costumes was absolutely stunning. The dancers wore beautiful costumes similar to those of flamenco dancers, a genre of dance Piko greatly admired, but never had permission to execute in his work. Mayu's dress, adorned in black and red, was even poofier than the dress she'd originally arrived in. The petticoats and the lace, the flare and shape of it, excited her beyond her expectations. Her hair was ribbon curled and lively, dressed in bright red poppies and carnations. Fukase wore a white buttoned shirt, black pants, and a red, silk ribbon around his waist. The Flower sister's leotards sported huge purple carnations on the hips. The singers wore long, patterned gowns, embellished with sequined vines and roses. Romance and fantasy were embedded in every aspect of the show. 

The ride to their next location was anything but weary. Everyone buzzed with anticipation and joy. There was song, and dance, and merriment all the while long. Mayu sat in contentment; the lack of accommodations no longer bothered her. She hadn't a care in the world but the people surrounding her. Now she was finally beginning to understand her fellow entertainers, for they truly did find joy in their work. They just expressed it a little differently, and Mayu was more than accustomed to being different. 

On the day of the show, Mayu sat in her dressing room, adorning her hair with the last of the fresh-picked flowers they'd acquired. Her heart hammered in her chest; half from nerves, and half from the concept of the show itself. During the last show, her nerves were so shot that she could barely process what was going on. Everything seemed to move as film, one frame after another, slow, and beautiful. This time around, she’d need to be acutely aware. Of everything. She looked down at her arm, the strange fracture-like scar ever-present. She couldn’t let her bother. Especially not right now. She sighed, absent-mindedly brushing through her hair, until there was a knock at the door. 

"I hope I'm not interrupting anything." V's calm voice rang out, her beautiful indigo costume glistening in the candlelight. She looked pristine, precise, yet warm as she approached her. 

"I know how you may be feeling, considering what happened last time."

Mayu blushed, twirling the brush in her ponytail. "Yes, ah, well, let's just hope that it doesn't occur again."

V's eyes softened. "That’s not what I meant at all. I just wanted to let you know that..” she paused, and for a fleeting moment, it seemed she was at a loss for words. Something strikingly uncharacteristic of her, but almost flattering. “Any apprehension you may be feeling right now is valid. After what happened last time, I can completely understand wanting to quit, or leave, or-”

"But everything was alright. I was safe."

"I know. It's just...I haven't been able to sleep peacefully, since then. You slipping out of my arms, off of the pedestal, it..." Another pause. Her eyes grew weary and dark. A silent storm brewed within her, it was almost feasible. "It should have never happened." 

Mayu turned fully to her, reaching out to take V's hands. V reluctantly drew closer, shakily taking her hands. Mayu rubbed her thumbs over V's palms. 

“I feel bad hearing you apologize. Without you, I would have…never had the opportunity to participate in this show.” And Mayu fully meant it. Without V as her guide, she would have never been able to accommodate to the showbiz. At every rehearsal, V was right there by her side. 
“Please, don’t let what happened haunt you. It’s all in the past. All is forgiven. All is well.”
And Mayu truly believed. The past was in the past now. All was forgiven. All would be well. 

V lurched out, taking Mayu’s torso into arms, so gracefully as not to disturb a single flower atop her head. “Thank you,” she whispered. And they remained that way until Oliver marched down the hallway, drumming a small snare, letting everyone know that it was time. V and Mayu exited the dressing room, anxious and thrilled. 
Mayu peeked behind the curtain, waiting patiently for her cue. The crowd seemed twice as large as last time. It was hard to distinguish them as individual people; everyone seemed to mesh together underneath the circus lights. Pink and fuschia flowers were being thrown right and left into the crowd, and the smell was absolutely tantalizing. The melodies that echoed from the singers mixed delightfully with the strum of Al’s guitar. The acrobats hung lazily between pedestals, their lines dressed as lush vines, flowers falling wistfully onto the dancers below. Mayu couldn’t imagine how Luka might’ve felt at this moment; married, yet so far from her love. Nevertheless, the scene was beautiful. The crowd seemed to sway mindlessly in unison. 

Before she knew it, Fukase emerged from behind the curtain on the far end of the arena. The lights hit him just right, and for the first time, his sharp features seemed warm. He was swift, and graceful, and precise. As though missing a beat meant sudden death. Which, in some strange way, was partly true. Regardless, he was beautiful. And when he reached out his arm to the other side of the arena, it was as though Mayu’s body reacted on its own. She was compelled by his conjuration. 
She twirled into the arena, and chaos broke loose in the crowd. Her heart hammered, her dress billowed, and the guitar rang true. Mayu grasped Fukase’s arm, and the routine commenced. As they danced, Mayu was reminded of those late nights. All of the sides she’d witnessed thus far seemed to blend together, though she couldn’t read him at all. His eyes were intentionally neutral, his focus on her body, and the steps to come. 

“Fukase…” she whispered. 

His pupils were so shot she almost jumped. He made a stifled, strained noise. He looked flustered, his hand shaking a little in her grasp. He offered her a strained smile, spinning her away from him, signaling the show's final act. Their arms outstretched to each other. Mayu’s chest was heaving, confusion stark in her expression. She climbed the pedestal,  nearly tripping over her skirts in the process. She grasped the vine-dressed rope, swung, and fell away into the pool of flowers. The roar of the crowd was deafened by the beat of Mayu’s heart. 
 It was over. It was good. 

That night, after dinner, Mayu found Fukase outside once again. He looked at her with a smile, silently inviting her to join him. 

"You...we did really good tonight," he whispered, his eyes still wandering from star to star. 

Mayu nodded, flushing to herself. If this had happened, she'd have all sorts of questions lined up to ask him. His whole demeanor baffled her, but she knew now not to pry. He'd speak to her in due time, and she'd need only to listen and observe. They did a damn good job. She wanted to revel in it. In the cold dark quiet, with someone who cared. All was good. 

Chapter Text

A cold, dark night, and the smell of sulfur. Mayu awoke, colder than she'd been in weeks. She felt around on the ground, only to find no one near her. Mayu palmed the hay of the train cart. It was scorched and matted; nothing like the cart she'd slept in with her show mates. She scrambled to her feet, her extremities trembling uncontrollably. She slowly raised her arms to squeeze her torso. Her heart stopped.

She was naked.

She pulled at her skin as her head spun. This could not be happening. Not again. She jolted around the cart, knocking into the wall in the hustle. She hissed, cradling her arm. As her eyes adjusted, she noticed the shiny metal embedded in the cart—knives.

She began to outright sob, falling to her knees in defeat. The hand that caressed her wounded arm became slick with blood. How could this be? How could she be injured so easily after going her entire life without so much as a bruise? Who was constantly trying to hurt her? Only one name came to mind.

Her head whipped to the other side of the cart. There was banging and shouting, and Mayu heard her name a few times. She was so dazed she swore she was hallucinating.

"Mayu? Are you in there? Can you hear me?"

She whipped her head around, her tears obstructing her vision. Not that she could really see much in the first place. Still, her heart raced at the prospect of salvation. She ran to one side of the paneling, banging on the wood. She screamed back and earned a hoarse response. 

"Move away from the wall!" 

Mayu scrambled as fast as she could. The blade of an axe tore at the boards of the wall, the sound and glint of the blade her only semblance of hope. Her shivering ceased, replaced with the invigorating hum of adrenaline. Soon, a light flashed into her face, two figures waiting patiently for her to notice them. 

"Oh my god, Oh my god!" She choked out, her strained voice echoing out into the night. The two figures, Piko and Fukase, dragged her out of the cart by the arms. Mayu clung to Fukase for a little while, body shaking from the nerves and chill in the air. 

She drew back to take in his face, horrified at the sight. A deep red, deeper than his mop of hair, dripped from the crown of his head down his chin. He seemed to pay it no mind, desperately searching Mayu's face. Piko laid a large, rough blanket over her form, beckoning for them to leave the scene. 

They shuffled in the forest quietly, with Mayu jumping at every snapped branch. Piko led them along with the lantern, a hand hovering over Mayu's back. She'd sneak a glance at Fukase every now and then. He still seemed totally unfazed by the gaping wound on his head. 

She opened her mouth to speak, but was silenced by a distant rustling. Without hesitation, Piko wordlessly bolted into a run, Mayu and Fukase following suit. She had no idea what they might've encountered out in the woodland, but she sure wasn't about to find out, her blistered feet be damned. The only reason she did not surpass Piko was because he carried their only source of light. 

A retched sound erupted from the murk that seemed to enclose them, ranging from somewhere between a growl and a scream. They whipped around, getting hit and cut by straggling shrubbery. Once the clearing came into view, the atmosphere shifted. They bolted the last stretch of the way to the shared train cart, scrambled in, and slammed the door behind them. 

Everyone else inside was already wide awake, all huddled up together, seemingly having waited on their arrival. They collectively sighed in relief, letting the trio catch their breath before interrogating them. Miku was the first to speak up. 

"Oh dear, Mayu. You're bleeding."

Mayu looked down at her arm, to where a knife had slit her in the cart deep in the forest. 

"I-It's alright. I'll deal with it in the morning." 

"Yes, dear, but your head." Miku pointed at her head. 

Mayu pat her hair, her palm smeared with blood. She recalled back to when she'd first been rescued, and her embrace with Fukase. 

"Oh, no, no. This is Fukase's. He's also injured. He-" She looked behind her but was immediately taken aback in confusion. Piko was sitting and heaving by her side, but Fukase was nowhere to be seen. 

V spoke up. "Did he follow you back here?" 

“I-I dunno, I swear that he was r-right behind me.” Mayu ran her hands through her hair, eyes shot. 

“It’s ok, Mayu.” Piko spoke weakly, firmly gripping her wrist. “Try not to fret. We will look for him in the morning.”

V nod her head. “I agree. We should wait until daylight. 

Mayu shook her head. “No, no, I-I need to…I have to go.” She wobbled to her knees and wriggled out of Piko’s grip, immediately falling back down from exhaustion. He hung her head weakly, letting the tears fall on her and Piko's skin where their hands were now intertwined. 

V set a hand on her shoulder. "It'll be okay, Mayu. He can fend for himself, trust me. He's stronger than he looks."

"Indeed." Piko agreed. "And I'd rather not be on the receiving end if he found out we'd let you out all alone to search for him at night."

Mayu remained quiet, slowly nodding her head to let her friends know that she'd abandoned the idea of leaving the cart. 

She rolled up in her blanket, sandwiched between the heat of her other show mates, free bleeding from her arm that she was sure would seep into the hay flooring. Regardless of all that, she slept with nothing but the thought of Fukase's safety on her mind. 

Chapter Text

Mayu was the first one to awake that morning. Or so, that's what she thought to be true. As soon as the first sighs of daylight crept through wooden cart boards, Mayu bolted upright. Half of her felt as though she'd never left that train cart last night. The warmth radiating around her told her otherwise. She sighed, running her hands down her face. Sure, she was safe. But for how long? And she wasn't sure if Fukase had returned last night. Oh, Fukase. She hated to admit it, but she knew if something were to happen to him, she wouldn't know what to do with herself. 

She got up and left the cart, half hoping to somehow stumble upon him. Any company would do right now, really. She didn't want to be alone with her thoughts. Not right now. 

She set out into the brush and lay in a small warm patch of tall grass, shivering slightly from the morning dew collected on the blades. She'd taken a blanket from the cart and wrapped it around her frame. Her arm was extremely sore from the night before, but otherwise, at least physically, she was alright. 

Mayu sighed, thinking about the night prior. Fukase...wherever he'd lurked off to, willingly or not, she hoped he was safe. 

"Mayu?" 

She turned and was greeted by two familiar figures. 

Piko and Luka were walking arm in arm and were stopping by to say hello, their welcoming smiles glistening in the dawn's early light. 

"H-hi." she croaked out, her voice weaker than she had intended for it to be. 

"Hi, sweetie," Luka whispered, crouching down to sit next to her, Piko following suit right next to her. 

"How are you feeling?" Piko asked gently, drawing his knees to rest underneath his chin. 

Mayu tried her best to smile. "I'm alright, I just have a lot on my mind right now." 

Luka nod. "That's understandable. I was thinking that after practice this afternoon we could set out to go looking for Fukase. I could hardly rest not knowing where he was last night."

That was a huge weight lifted off of Mayu's shoulders. She was relieved that she wasn't the only one whose heart was heavy from his absence. 

"Yeah, I'd like that." Mayu smiled. 

"Indeed. I know that I wouldn't be as much help, but I'm sure that Oliver and-"

A sharp gasp of pain interrupted her mid-sentence. Luka doubled over, eyes wide with fear and vigor. 

Piko immediately caressed her back, the crinkle between his white brows furrowed. "Luka? What's the matter? What's wrong?"

She didn't respond, instead choking on a sob as tears dripped freely down her face. 

Mayu stood up, searching the clearing for some kind of sign, realizing how moot her actions were as reality slowly sept in. 

"Piko, what do we do?" 

He became frantic. "I-I don't know. I don't know, I-" He shook his head, his face becoming grim as he silently came to a conclusion. 

"I-I think that we need to take her to the maestro."

Every vein in Mayu's body turned cold at the mention of his name. No, not now. Not after last night. Every muscle in her body begged for her to run away, to flee, and to find someone else to take her place. 

Luka looked up at her, sweat pooling above her brows and lips. Her eyes were soft in understanding, but her entire expression was strained with fear and anguish. She was pleading. 

After everything they'd been through, she couldn't give in to her fear. She swallowed and composed herself the best that she could, tensing her body rigidly. She responded simply and nodded. "Okay. Lead the way." 

Piko hoisted Luka up, hooking his arm under one of hers to support her weight. Mayu supported her on her other side, and together they could maneuver her fairly easily. Mayu's heart ached at the sight of blood staining the grass where Luka once sat. 

They began to trod together in search of the maestro's train cart. Luka continued to groan and hiss in pain, pushing herself with all her might to continue walking. Mayu's stress worsened with each step they took. She'd glance over at Piko now and then, the pain etched clearly on his soft features. 

"Almost there...it should be around here somewhere." 

The forest was littered with all sorts of contraptions and carts filled with various supplies. Mayu had no idea which one of them could have belonged to the maestro. 

They continued to struggle. Luka left a sickening trail of blood behind her, and it became heavier the longer that they walked. 

"Piko, how are we supposed to know which one is his?"

"A purple stripe." He heaved quickly. "H-his cart should have a purple stripe on its side." 

She nodded, now knowing what exactly they were looking for. They made several wrong turns and went knocking on the wrong cart several times. Their feet ached and their stomachs turned as the sun rose fully, signifying the coming of noon. 

After a few more minutes of mindless wondering, they finally found the cart that they were looking for. It was far larger than the rest of the carts, and on its side was a perfectly set purple plank. 

The door was wide open, as though he’d been anticipating visitors. The entrance of the cart was dark, with the shine of precious metals glistening from beyond the foyer. Piko and and Mayu slowly led Luka in, walking into the common area, and setting her on a plush couch. She was sweating and panting, but still conscious. 

Mayu took her her surroundings. The plank wall of the cart was dressed in a gaudy, purple wallpaper. There were all sorts of vanities and jewelry hung from every wall and on every surface. There seemed to be several rooms past the common area, like a little cottage. A sharp pang of deja vu crossed Mayu’s mind. She hadn’t been in a place this florid since before she left. It felt absolutely foreign to her now. 

From the other side of the room, a small, creaky sound resounded in the darkness. Mayu and Piko froze, having no other choice but to stand and wait. 

There came Fukase, sitting immobile in a whicker-woven wheelchair, his head hung to the side and his eyes screwed closed. Behind him was the maestro pushing him. Mayu stared on in horror, taking in his battered state. He hadn’t been safe, and they hadn’t got to him in time. Her body shook as she suppressed an aching sob that lumped in the back of her throat. 

She stared on, locking eyes with the maestro. His mouth twisted into a smile. 

“What can I do for you all today?” he asked quietly, ignoring Luka’s blood seeping into the floorboards. His face was illuminated by a gold-laden candle set into the wall, casting an eerie shadow across his face. 

“Luka, she…she needs help.” was all Mayu could choke out. Her fingers twisted into fists so tight that her nails blanched her palms, leaving small crescent moons in their wake. 

The maestro smiled with his teeth, wheeling Fukase farther into the room. Piko shook beside her, from what she could only imagine was caused by a mixture of fear and anger. 

The maestro slowly approached Luka, tilting her chin to face him. She bore her fangs in reflex before realizing that she was at his mercy. She couldn’t put up a fight in the state that she was in. 

“I will take care of her. You can leave now.” He dismissed them with a wave of his hand. 

“W-wait!” Piko yelled. His whole body was shaking, but he stood firm, taking a few steps forward. His pale face was red in frustration. 

“What the hell have you done?! Fukase, he…he-”

The maestro laughed mockingly, clearly deriving joy in patronizing them. 

“It’s his own fault he’s like this. I got sick and damn tired of him crossing me. He knew better. And so do you.” 

Piko grit his teeth. “You…you’re a monster!” He screamed, voice dripping with venom. “How could you? How could you do this?” He pressed further, squaring his shoulders. 

The maestro slowly approached Piko, reaching out and grabbing him by the throat. He lifted him off of the floor, supporting his full weight with one arm. Piko kicked and wailed but continued to scream as loud as his horse voice would allow him to. 

“How could you? How could you do this to us?” he continued on, foam pooling over onto his chin. 

“Who do you think you are to question me? Who took you in? When your own whore of a mother didn’t want you?” 

"How could you? How could you!"

"You're nothing. You meritless worm. Nothing!" 

The maestro’s voice made Mayu sick. She couldn’t stand it anymore. 

“Stop it!” She lunged for the maestro’s arm that held Piko. He slapped her with his free hand, and released Piko’s throat, leaving them both groaning and heaving on the floor. 

“And who do you think you are?” He pulled Mayu’s head up by her bangs. 

“Mayu!” Piko reached out, but he was far too weak to move as his lungs adjusted to the air. 

Mayu didn’t know what had taken over her. Maybe it was her adrenaline or her fear. But seeing Fukase in the state that he was in was too much to bear. It wasn’t the fact that his death would stain her conscious. It was the throbbing in her entire being from seeing him in that state. The hollowness and emptiness she’d feel if he wasn’t there. If none of them were. 

“Please, please just spare them. Fukase, Piko, all of them. Please just take me instead. I’ll do whatever you want. Comply with every order, just please…please leave them alone.” 

She stared directly into his eyes. Once he realized she’d refused to back down, he released her, pushing her onto her back with a barking laugh. 

“...Very well. I will take care of your little friends.” He turned to walk out of the room. He grasped the handles of Fukase’s wheelchair, a little gentler this time. 

“Now be out of my sight.” 

Mayu and Piko sat outside of the group train cart with little wax candles, slowly taking in the events that had occurred that noon. She wasn’t exactly sure how to process any of it, but felt she made the right decision. Whatever that could possibly mean. 

“Mayu…are you worried?” Piko asked gently. His soft demeanor slowly returned to him as the day progressed. 

“I’m not too worried. As long as Luka and Fukase are okay, then I’m fine.” 

Piko sighed. “Mayu…thank you, so much.” 

She turned to him. “Of course, Piko. We’re family now, remember?”

He smiled. “Of course family.”

She smiled to herself. Besides, what did she have to lose? 

Chapter Text

The days after Fukase’s abduction came and went. It’d been about a week without him before Mayu became antsy again. They’d be on the road again soon, in a different city, performing a different routine. 

Mayu wasn’t as attentive as she normally was, and it was beginning to become evident to those around her. No one could blame her. Not after Piko explained to everyone what had happened. 

They all practiced together, with less cheer and folly, knowing that ultimately, how well pratice went didn’t matter as long as they showed out on the main stage. 

Mayu was resting in the arms of V, taking a moments rest from practicing. She stroked her hair lightly in understanding, speaking softly to Flower on something menial. Mayu tuned in at first, but could not focus on their words. It had something to do with the new routine, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. 

For this routine, Mayu was to balance on a wire between two platforms. The sisters were on either side, twirling ribbons and hoops on their gaunt limbs. At the climax of the music, Mayu was flip backwards and fall on a platform on the ground in the middle of the dancers. It wasn’t an impossible feat, but it certainly wouldn’t be easy. Mayu would need to concentrate as much as possible to execute it on tempo. 

She felt a gentle tap on her head. 

“Are you ready?” V asked gently, signaling that it was time to practice again. 

Mayu nod, rubbing the dreariness from her face. Before, she’d only practiced on the wire. This time it was time to practice jumping to the dancers. 

She began to climb the ladders to the foremost platform, regaining confidence with each step. The prospect of practicing made her stomach churn, but once she was actually in the moment, she didn’t mind it all too much. 

The sisters were on either side of the platforms, the dancers watching her from below. She tested the wire a little, before walking out into the middle, feeling so confident as to bounce on the line a little. The sisters looked on with delight. 

She was out in the middle of the wire, twisting and dancing, preparing for her descension when a pang in the base of her skull began to irritate her. She tried to ignore it, squeezing her eyes tight in concentration. She made a full turn, and curtsey before her final flip. But before she was able to fully rise after her bow, she twisted backward awkwardly as the pang grew stronger. 

She lost her footing, and wasn’t able to aim her body in time. A collective gasp resounded in the room, before a crack. A horrible, sickening crack. 

There Mayu was, in an estranged back bend, with her feet dangling dantily in front of her face, and her clavicle and torso flat to the ground and extruding behind her head. It would have been a beautiful display of Mayu’s flexibility, if only she’d had a little more control. 

She landed straight on her neck, the crack seemingly having been her vertebrae and trachea concaving and breaking. Her eyes were agape, her breathing staggered. 

On the outside, her neck was a sickly blueish-purple, with the inside having been crushed in on itself, the bone protruding slightly, the blood dripping down to stain her pale chin. 

Flower was the first to scream, followed by those on the ground rushing to her body. V all but jumped down from her podium, rushing to Mayu to unfold her poor body. 

Mayu looked up at V weakly, trying to speak, with only short sputters and blood coming out of her mouth. Her mandible was hanging askew.  She’d lost mobility from her sternum up, only able to bulge her eyes in horror. She began to go limp and close her eyes in V’s arms. 

“Mayu! Mayu, you have to stay awake.” 

Her eyelids only continued to grow heavier. Piko ran over, his hands clasped around his mouth, lest he let the contents of his stomach erupt. “V, what do we do?”

V looked up at Piko for a moment, her gaze fixated either on him or slightly above his shoulder, he couldn’t tell. She turned back to Mayu, her pitiful expression almost too much to bear.

“Mayu, you are going to be alright. I promise. You are going to be alright.” 

After the initial shock of the event, Miku shakily went to go retrieve Al. V attempted to carry Mayu at first, but the weight of trying to support Mayu’s limp head with the rest of her body proved difficult. Mayu began to respond less and less, to everyone’s horror. The towel wrapped around her small body began to drip with blood. The sowed twins were the most helpful in this situation, knowing all too well what to do with her poor neck and body. 

Al slowly entered the tent, keeping composure, eyes filled with concern. His presence reined a solemn familiarity. He knew exactly what was going on before anyone said anything. 

Al cradled Mayu’s body carefully, being able to support her head and body properly. He paid no mind to the blood seeping into his palms. He looked at Mayu’s face, his stone face finally contorting to make his emotions known. 

He looked up to everyone else. Gently, he reassured them. “I’ll see to it that she will be alright.” He let his words sit in the air, taking in everyone’s worried and horrified expressions, before making his leave. 

V finally let herself cry, hiding her face in her hands. Piko bent down beside her, watching Al leave, fighting the urge to follow him. 

Al walked through the forest to find the maestro’s cart. Unlike everyone else, he knew exactly where he was going. He knew where to find his father. 

He entered the cart, slowly adjusting Mayu to rest on one of his arms as he lit a lantern to see into the dark, eerie entryway. The hoards of trinkets and precious metals adorning every crevice of the cart were illuminated in the dreamy lantern light. It all would have been so beautiful, if only their circumstances were different. 

He went to the far back of the cart, where he knew the maestro performed his “operations.” He crept inside, shining his lantern on a small bed. There Luka was, sleeping soundly. This brought Al a sense of comfort as he left the room. 

The next room was larger, the strong smell of incense lingered in the air. Al walked into the middle of the room. There was a strong oak table, atop it a linen bedsheet. On the sheet was Fukase’s sleeping body, completely still. A burst of nostalgia filled Al’s heart as the visage of Fukase’s youthful face crossed his mind. He remembered how young and lively he used to be, back when he’d first arrived. Al commanded him for retaining his boisterous spirit, considering all he’d been through. To see him like this now, his torso bruised and scratched, truly broke his heart. 

Al focused back on the task at hand. Al searched around the room. He found a small metal table and wheeled it next to the table Fukase lied on. He slowly lowered Mayu’s body down onto the metal table. He slipped a little, the blood from Mayu’s towel having painted the floorboards. He set her down far rougher than he’d intended. 

Her eyes opened, staring blankly and dully up at Al. Her body lay straight up and down, all but her poor neck. It twisted to the side sickly, her pale face seemed as though her body had been drained of all fluids. It was a terrible sight, but at least Al knew that she’d be alright eventually. He’d be sure of it. 

He took Fukase’s hand, and rested it in Mayu’s. He stepped back to examine his work, and smiled. A short-lived victory, but a victory nonetheless. The sight of their mangled bodies burned its way behind his eyes and into his psyche. The scene joined the plethora of grotesque images that’d buried their way into his consciousness. 

He slowly exited the room, completely oblivious to anyone else in the room, to a hiding Piko’s delight. 

Chapter Text

The room was dark and quiet. The sheen of cold, sterile metal reflected hazily off of every surface. Piko's lantern swayed in his clenched fist and he took in the sight before him. He stared down, a mix of emotions choking him. He swallowed the feeling, his throat bobbing dryly as he surveyed his friends' stagnant forms. 

Fukase's pale skin flexed and expanded across his ribs and sternum in patterns of deep, complete breaths. Mayu didn't seem to be breathing at all. Piko hovered his palm over her face and sighed as it was met with weak billows of air. 

The scene clenched at Piko's stomach. If he hadn't known any better, he'd believed he'd walked in on some incomplete autopsy. His only comfort was Fukase's expression of pure peace. His brow wasn't creased, his lips straight, relaxed. Piko couldn't remember a time he'd ever seen him so comfortable. 

He grew closer, looking at them more intently. Fukase's chest scar was all very familiar to him, but Mayu's was not. Right there on her chest, was a tiny, black scar, adorned with the residue of stitches that were never removed. Interesting. He'd never noticed before or took the time to ask Fukase about it. Fukase's stitches and scars stretched along his forearms and legs, while Mayu only had one little, glass-like scar from her experience with the Maestro while she was healing. Very interesting. 

Piko's curiosity was about to get the better of him, and he didn't know when he'd get an opportunity like this again. He decided to explore more, beyond the examination room. 

The Maestro's cart was dark and oppressive, draped with heavy lace and elegant fabrics. Piko wondered grimly how many times the drapes had to be changed, our outright discarded completely, as blood and gore soaked into the fibers. He, along with his other cart mates, were all too familiar with those drapes. He hated the color purple. When he himself lay on the cold metal cot, restrained and gagged, he stared up at those same curtains and lace, the only spots of color in his dark, grim world. Piko hated the color purple. 

Beyond the cold hallway were two little offices, that were broken up further by another hallway. Piko had never made it this far into the cart. He took a deep, steadying breath, and continued on his way. The first office was full of oddities and obscenities. Jars full of things that should be left to the imagination, labeled with sigils in languages that Piko could not understand. He shivered and averted his gaze. The second office couldn't be any more different. It was barren, save for the tall, shiny file cabinets that lined the walls. There was a quaint little desk, staked high with well-worn documents. Piko entered the room. There were so many drawers and letters and essays, he didn't quite know where to begin. There was no way he could go through all of the files alone, but he could at least try to find any information that could help his friends in the other room. 

✉✉✉

At the main tent, Al was able to deliver the news of Mayu's progressed condition. With that, everyone breathed just a little easier. Everyone attempted to return to their tasks, with varying degrees of success. 

Miku, who was already struggling without her pink-haired companion, was more than shaken up about what happened to Mayu. She swept along the floor, her eyes clouded over in dissonance. Len and Rin tried their best to offer their little bit of company, to no avail. They knew that once Miku had lost look in their eyes there wasn't much that they could do. That is, until Miku decided to speak up herself. 

"I just don't understand why this happening. It's all too much." 

The mood was grim. Everyone knew what she was alluding to. Before Mayu's arrival, things were still and monotonous, which was preferred over the years and years of chaos and anguish. There would be long periods of time of torment and abuse, broken up by months of stillness before their performances. There hadn't been much to rile the Maestro up since Luka's pregnancy, and her husband's timely escape. Since then, things have been at a relative standstill. For weeks they walked on eggshells, knowing that at any minute, any one of them could be the subject of harsh and inhumane abuse. They'd let their guards down and were all feeling exceptionally vulnerable. 

V nodded slowly, and was the first to speak up. "I feel like it's always been this way, only now we're really feeling."

Emotionally. No one needed to say it for them to understand. They were feeling the weight of the chaos emotionally. 

"I hate this." Miku wept pitifully into her hand, her other still gripped tightly as she tried to continue her task. V immediately pulled her into a tight embrace, discarding the broom with a loud clack. It was taking a toll on all of them, as they all tried to comfort each other. 

Piko stood in the entrance, taking in the scene, shaking with damp papers clutched in his fist. Papers about Mayu and Fukase, and where they came from, and what they are. Papers about all of them. He'd found what they so desperately needed. Answers.