Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

#rules

Chameleon

Hello, everyone. Welcome to the Border Discord Server. Please assimilate to the rules listed below and remember that this is a friendly space for agents to chat.

Please refrain from pinging everyone unless you are given admin or have a good reason to.

No swearing, especially if you are under 18. You will be given a role if you are an Adult or a Child.

No conversations about sex, drugs, or rock’n’roll. 

No PDA. 

Jin is allowed 13 predictions a day. Any more than that, and he gets muted for an hour and 37 minutes. We are watching you, Yuuichi. 

No roleplay fights. 

Miwa Shuji 

No fighting about politics. 

Chameleon

Okay, then

ContraCode

No photos of any animals other than Raijin-maru -Yotaro

RindoRindo 

Under all circumstances, Kido does NOT learn about this. No questions asked or answered. He does not. 

Chameleon 

Head to #general for chatting. 

#general 

mikumo.

….why am i an Adult

Bonchi Rice Crackers

Because ur the Team Adult, duh.

mikumo.

I’m 15??????

Bonchi Rice Crackers

Yeah but ur an adult

mikumo.

Not in the eyes of the law??? 

Why does this server have an nsfw channel and WHY DID U GIVE ME ACCESS TO IT

Bonchi Rice Crackers

Ur an adult chill

Xx_Yoneya_xX

minors dni but you’re an adult so it’s Legal 

mikumo.

???? I AM FIFTEEN.

Bonchi Rice Crackers

Whatever u can see a dick if u want just don’t click on it and it’s nbd

mikumo.

That continues to not be the point of this conversation, please change my role back to Child

Xx_Yoneya_xX

Kinky lmao

MEE6

Xx_Yoneya_xX has been warned. 

Reason: NSFW outside of NSFW channel 

Xx_Yoneya_xX 

oKAY KAZAMA WE GET IT JEEZ 

mikumo.

What the hell. No. what the fuck.

MEE6

mikumo. has been warned

Reason: swearing

mikumo.

Oh. My bad. Can you change my role, though?

Chameleon

Sure. 

#introductions

Chameleon

@everyone 

Please write your introductions here. I will go first to lay a basis of what we need 

Name: Kazama Soya

Pronouns: He/Him/His

Age: 21

Zodiac: Luna Falcata, but I don’t really believe in horoscopes. 

Fun Fact: I am 5’2. 

#general 

Ears

Everyone knows that you are 5’2, Kazama

#introductions 

ContraCode 

name: Konami Kirie 

pronouns: she/her, but idc

age: 17

zodiac: Aptenodytes

fun fact: there was a videogame code named after me!!! 

arashiyama! 

Arashiyama Jun

he/his

19 

Ricecannon420

Chika Amatori ;)

she/her/hers 

14

Amphibious

Fun Fact:  Once I ate only rice for a month and got scurvy.

=3=

Yuma Kuga

He/they/whatever

Gladius

Fun Fact: two-time winner of the Mikado City Open MMA Tournament.

Huise

Hyuss

He/hhim/his

Zoidoavd are bs

Fun fact: cnrt typiew forw short

mikumo.

My username is literally my name

15

Gemini

Fun Fact: has been excommunicated from the Catholic Church

#general

ContraCode 

WHAT DO U MEAN U GOT EXCOMMUNICATED FROM THE CATHOLIC CHURCH????

torimaru.

He’s probably messing with you, Konami .

ContraCode

Really? How rude.

mikumo.

No, that actually happened

It’s a really long and really sordid story involving goats and cocaine

ContraCode 

WHAT

TELL US NOW

mikumo.

 I don’t wanna get in trouble for talking about drugs and such tho….

ContraCode 

I TEMPORARILY WAIVE THAT RESTRICTION FOR THE SAKE OF THE STORY. GO ON.

LoneWolf

Mikumo got in trouble??? Lemme hear too!

Cub

It’s a public channel, Tachikawa…

mikumo.

Ok so

We set our scene in fair Nowhere, where… I just know the onew line of that play.

Anyway it’s 2004, I am but a small child with no sense of scale, and I have just been sent to Catholic boarding school in the middle of nowhere. It was this school for rich kids, so I think my parents wanted me to network? I don’t really know.

RindoRindo 

Your parents sent you to boarding school at six?

mikumo.

yeah they move a lot for my dad’s job and figured switching schools and houses and provinces and stuff every year would be traumatic for a little kid? So I spent elementary school in various boarding-school type places

RindoRindo 

…should I have a talk with your parents

mikumo.

enh I don’t really care

we get along ok I just don’t uh

actually live with them

haven’t since I was like five

it’s fine

LoneWolf

Get back to the story already

mikumo.

Ok ok jeez

So yeah a few months pass uneventfully

and then

this guy i know from latin (yes I had latin yes I know latin  catholic schools are really into latin for some reason) invites me to a party

Ricecannon420

oh no

mikumo.

yeah

so I go because, well, party

so for a bit of background private school kid parties are LEGENDARY

the police get called once a week kind of legendary

someone burned down the dorms once

spoiler alert that someone was me

Ricecannon420

…is this why my brother has you in his phone as “fucking superb you funky little arsonist”?

mikumo.

…maybe? idk how your brother names his contacts

so at this party (surprisingly the arson party was a different time? I was only at this school for a semester and it put me off high school parties forever) it was abundantly clear that the small children were not in fact invited to party.

mikumo.

we were invited to make the bathtub cocktail.

I did not want to do this.

now, the thing to understand about boarding-school kids is that we either cave to the overwhelming pressure and become productive but emotionally stunted members of society, or we go completely batshit.

Ricecannon420

….yeah that tracks

mikumo.

me and your brother are the second. by the way I’m pretty sure this incident is why your parents sent you to normal elementary school

so I’m at this party

and I’m very very annoyed because when this guy whose name I forget because it’s been a decade said party I thought there would be snacks and pizza and UNO or something and now I’m supposed to mix something called a “Hawaiian Blizzard” in a bathtub which was ABSOLUTELY NOT what I came here to do

Ricecannon420

great. always a good start

Xx_Yoneya_xX

dude this sounds lit

mikumo.

I just wanted pizza L

so I start going through the cabinets

because no one is paying attention to them

Ricecannon420

osamu this is why I keep telling you to get into  bank robbery

mikumo.

there are way better ways to make crime money than bank robbery. anyways I’m going through these cabinets

RindoRindo 

should I be more worried about my filing cabinets

mikumo.

already looked, not interesting. moving on I get this cabinet open

and inside is just. this brick.

it’s white and it weighs less than you would think

so my small child brain goes “yay, sugar” so I lick it

not a lot

just the tip of my toungue

and it goes hot and tingly

and I go “this isn’t sugar”

so I go to the living room computer (2004, remember)

and look it up

and oh shit! it cocaine!

MEE6

mikumo. has been warned

Reason: swearing

mikumo.

also I feel like I should mention that if anyone tells the cops about this I WILL burn your house down

I can and will do that

Ricecannon420

actually please do burn my house down I hate that house

mikumo.

ok if you told on me I would have your house deemed a historical preservation site, thus ensuring that it will never be destroyed

Ricecannon420

a-hole

MEE6

Ricecannon420  has been warned

Reason: swearing

mikumo.

it picks up on that?

so I have this BRICK of cocaine

at a house party where I am the one sober person in the room (asides from Rinji but we only figured out he was even there literal years later)

so I do the logical thing

and I STEAL THE BRICK

I JUST PUT IT IN MY BACKPACK AND LEAVE

huise

ad here u thioght yoi wwre the gpod ine

mikumo.

no, yuma is the good one

so I just. I go back to my dorm

Xx_Yoneya_xX 

How could you understand that keysmash?? lmao

mikumo.

and I put the brick in the top of my closet and pretend like everything is fine

it just. comes naturally

as you do

and like a few weeks later Rinji comes to my dorm room

I forget why he was there but it had something to do with us stripping the principal’s old car for scrap metal and then welding it to make a sculpture on top of his current car?????

Ricecannon420

you two do know that you’re pretty much the worst delinquents ever

mikumo.

we’re not even trying to be delinquents we just don’t believe in formal education and also we like things that carry a high risk of bodily injury like welding and urbex and scamming the yakuza

Ricecannon420

what was that last one

mikumo.

don’t worry about it. so he’s there and we’ve been awkwardly hanging out in bio lab (we were in the same one because we were both taking bio 1 and all the students get mixed together for that)  for a few weeks and just when I start to get comfortable with ther being someone in my room (which I am very much storing stolen drugs in)

he just REACHES INTO MY CLOSET

PULLS OUT THE BRICK

AND ASKS WHAT IT IS.

Ricecannon420

I feel like this is really your fault for being friends with my brother

mikumo

1- hindsight is 20/20

2- it worked out so whatever

I’m just paralyzed for a second

and then he says “oh my god this is cocaine”

and my life is flashing in front of my eyes

because I figure that I’m gonna go to PRISON for the rest of my NATURAL LIFE

and there’s this long, drawn-out pause

in retrospect if i had been thirteen with no prior exposure to this sort of thing and I had pulled two kg of drugs out of the closet of the seven-year-old whose notes I was stealing I would definitely have called the cops so props to him ig

but I was freaking out

Xx_Yoneya_xX

oh my god. ohhh my god. please teach me your ways

mikumo.

if I figure them out i’ll let you know.

we sort of stared at each other and blinked

and then he said

I should reiterate right now that I was very very freaked out and also I had been awake for four days because of finals and panic combined with 96 hours of uninterrupted consciousness does strange things to a person

Glasses Supremacy #1

mood! What energy shots were you using?

mikumo.

I was abusing the chemistry lab to make Deathwish coffee actually

so he looks at me and he goes “wanna feed this to the goats”

and I was. uh. what?

and he repeats, very insistently: “do you want to feed this to the goats. ”

our school had goats by the way

one of the teachers raised them as a hobby and people used them for classes and stuff

the pen was right by the church, which is important later

Ricecannon420

oh my god

I can’t belive he told me not to build that skate ramp

his idea of fun at my age was feeding cocaine  to goats

I should have built that halfpipe

mikumo.

your plan for the halfpipe included spikes?????

Ricecannon420

and? are you against women having some spiky fun?

mikumo.

look, I’ve been impaled and it’s super unpleasant so yes??? sort of??? at least not with spikes???

Ricecannon420

stop using “I’ve been impaled” to win arguements

mikumo.

I was literally in a coma the least you can do is let me win arguments.

LoneWolf

ooooo couple fight

Ricecannon420

shut UP Tachikawa

mikumo.

shut your mouth tachikawa

so we go down to the goats at like two am

and we dump the ENTIRE BRICK into the water, and we mix it up, and I sort of idly contemplate that maybe I should have just helped make the terrible bathtub drink instead

huise

at homme we knoew thids feeling as ‘mortar regret”, ity’s whern ypu turn down a medfiocre post only to enbd up in a mucvh worse one

mikumo.

useful, I’ll keep that in mind

and then we go back to bed

and the next morning. THE NEXT MORNING.

as it turns out, the bishop was visiting

but this is not my main concern.

my main concern is getting to Latin Literature And Scripture, which involves….. wait for it…. crossing the field of goats high on cocaine that I created!!!

ContraCode 

JESUS

mikumo.

sadly he was not with us that day

so I go

and the first two meters is all good

I’m walking on top of a wall

a goat is ramming it

and then I ran out of wall

but I REALLY REALLY DID NOT WANT TO BE LATE FOR CLASS

SO IN AN

IMPECCABLE

LEAP OF REASONING

I jumped on a goat.

Xx_Yoneya_xX

IM CRYING PLEASE

knifecat emoji

U JUMPED ON A GOAT IM DYING

mikumo.

it was not my smartest moment but also i waqs seven so i feel like this is pretty good

I mean i didn’t DIE

so I’m riding a goat

hanging onto the horns for dear life

screaming the f-word at the top of my lungs

and who do you think steps out of the church.

guess.

Xx_Yoneya_xX

JOHN CENA

mikumo.

my life would have been way better if it had been john cena

it was the FUCKING ARCHBISHOP

MEE6

mikumo. has been warned

Reason: swearing

mikumo.

OF THE ENTIRE PROVINCE

AND I HIT HIM! ON A SPEEDING GOAT! WHILE SCREAMING OBSCENITIES!

so obvs I got excommunicated

and I never got to Latin :(

and then a week later Rinji pointed out that probably they would find cocaine in the water and my room if we checked

so we set the microwave on fire and burned the dorm down

Ricecannon420

I am never leaving you two unsupervised ever again.

mikumo.

you were five when this happened what would you have even done

Ricecannon420

NOT DRUGGED GOATS?!?!?!!

mikumo.

look, it seemed like a good idea at the time.

also, this incident is when me and Rinji decided that were Friends for Life tm

and you can’t really participate in a goat-drugging arson conspiracy with someone without becoming either friends or mortal enemies

and we both had/have like twelve mortal enemies each but neither of us had friends at the time

Ricecannon420

you know what? I’m not sure what I even expected of you two.

mikumo.

fair

so yeah that’s how I got kicked out of boarding school, excommunicated from the Catholic Church, and made a Best Friend For Life.

RindoRindo 

do your parents know about this?

mikumo. is typing….

mikumo. is typing….

mikumo.

snitches get stitches and wind up in ditches.

Ricecannon420

  binchers get stinchers 

Xx_Yoneya_xX

LMAO WOW NOT GONNA MESS WITH YOU TWO

FUCK

fucking PUSSY eat the goats bitch

MEE6

FUCK has been muted

Reason: swearing

reijinmaru

KAEGURA.

EVERY TIME.

————

#introductions

reijinmaru

Reiji 

21, Gladius 

He/His

I have two cats and a lizard. They are at home because Torimaru is allergic

Glasses Supremacy #1

AAAAAH cats are so cute!!! ^v^

usami shiori 

she/her

17

felis

my highest wpm typing speed is 318

PLAYBOY

IKOMA TATSUHIKO

19

FELIS

HE/HIM/HIS

FUN FACT IDK HOW TO TURN CAPSLOCK OFF

#general

Ears

Sorry but Ikoma what the fuck 

MEE6

Ears has been warned.

Reason: swearing

#introductions

Bonchi Rice Crackers 

Yuichi Jin

19

Note to self look up sign later

he/him

Fun fact: i know every secret couple in border. Some of them would surprise you!

#gen

TwinSnipre69 

Jiiin~ 

Tell us who the secret coulps are~

Bonchi Rice Crackers 

no~

TwinSnipre69

why~

Bonchi Rice Crackers  

I have been threatened~

TwinSnipre69

By whom~

Xx_Yoneya_xX

  Why are we all doing tides? It looks so stupid~

Xx_Yoneya_xX 

Who could threaten the mighty Jin~

TwinSnipre69 

I bet it was kitora

kitora is goddamn terrifying

knifecat emoji

she really is~

Kitora Eye  

It is a skill that I have cultivated well.

Kitora Eye

And no, i have not threatened Jin. Jin does in fact know what will happen if he dares to cross me, though.

Bonchi Rice Crackers 

I do~

knifecat emoji 

jin!!!!!!!

Kitora Eye

Jin.

Bonchi Rice Crackers 

So kitora~

You make any good progress? 

Kitora Eye is typing…..

Kitora Eye

You know the answer to that question.

Bonchi Rice Crackers 

I do!!!! They don’t!

Kitora Eye

…and do i need to tell them?

Bonchi Rice Crackers 

no but most of border thinks you’re into osamu so take that into mind

Kitora Eye

what the fishsticks

i am a lesbian. why would they think that.

ContraCode

i have no idea babe

knifecat emoji 

babe? you mean…

Bonchi Rice Crackers 

Yep ;)

knifecat emoji 

THEYRE DATING!!!!!!!????

ContraCode

AND?? YOU GOT A PROBLEM, SCRUB?

knifecat emoji 

@Kitora Eye You seem reasonable save me from konamiiiiiii

ContraCode

what do u think babe

Kitora Eye is typing…

Kitora Eye is typing…

Kitora Eye

Get his ass.

MEE6

Kitora Eye has been warned

Reason: swearing

knifecat emoji 

….play despacito at my funeral

#introductions

Commander Yotaro

Yotaro Rindo

5

boss yotaro everyone listen to me i am boss 

#gen

reijinmaru

WHO GAVE YOTARO A PHONE?????

RindoRindo

MORE IMPORTANTLY, HOW DID YOTARO GET DISCORD????

Glasses Supremacy #1

Which one of you gave Yotaro Discord. 

ContraCode

oh

reijinmaru

KONAMI. 

Chapter Text

#introductions 

Xx_Yoneya_xX 

Yosuke Yoneya

17

he/him

Fun fact: if i wear jeans my name changes to “josuke joneya”

Ears

Shiro Kikuchihara

16

Bitch

he/him

Fun fact: all of you stop making out in closets next to my squad room, I can hear everything.

FUCK

Masato goddamn Kageura

18

FUCK zodiacs they don’t do shit

his

Fun fact: fuck off

yuzuruuuu

Isami Toma

18

gladius

he/his

Fun Fact: i spend four hours a day on hair care

Cub

Kouhei Izumi

17

Parrot

he his 

Fun Fact: Yuiga gives you money if u ask right :)

LoneWolf

Kei Tachikawa 

20

Lupus

he/him

Fun fact: fight me

Kitora Eye  

Ai Kitora

15

Gladius 

she/her

Fun fact: no photo ops

TwinSnipre69 

Ken Satori

16

he/him

Fun fact: i can do a twin snipe!

torimaru. 

Kyosuke Karasuma

16

he/his/himself

whichever zodiac isn't compatible with yours, i'm that.

fun fact: i have ten jobs.

Miwa Shuji 

it's right there. do i have to do everything for you people?

17

he/him

fun fact: jin can go suck a Bamster's dick if he likes neighbors so much.

#general 

TwinSnipre69 

something i said today: why is there macaroni sauce on my tatas

Kitora Eye

satori. 

did we ask.

knifecat emoji

why 🤷🏻♀️ is 😶 there 🧍🏻♀️macaroni 🍜 on 🏃🏻♀️ my 🧍🏻♀️tatas 🥵

TwinSnipre69 

midorikawa asked.

Miwa Shuji

Excuse me?

That is not macaroni. That is ramen

knifecat emoji

the only other option was 🍝 and that’s spaghetti 

Miwa Shuji

But… that’s more accurate than ramen?

Would you ever eat macaroni with chopsticks?

Lone Wolf

Yuiga probably would

Discount Don Pedro

I would not!!!! this is SLANDER

knifecat emoji 

dojnt harass me over an emoji miwa

yoneya help me 

Xx_Yoneya_xX 

Miwa has a point though

Bro ur literally japanese as well why the ramen

knifecat emoji

NO?? no one puts marinara on their macaroni 

mikumo.

marinara on macroni is good tho

huise

u puyt thosse words back into your mourth rihjyt  ow.

torimaru. 

The definition of “macaroni and cheese” is “a dish of pasta and cheese sauce, traditionally using macaroni and cheddar, baked in a casserole or sometimes cooked on a stovetop” so Midorikawa has a point. At least he knows what macaroni is. 

knifecat emoji

HAHAHAHH i got karasuma on my side

therefore I AM RIGHT and you are all wrong 

torimaru.

Midorikawa, you are on thin fucking ice. 

MEE6

Warned torimaru.

Reason: swearing

Ricecannon420

it must be nice, it must be ni~ice.. to have Torimaru on your side!

ContraCode

(replying to torimaru.) midorikawa you are dying tonight 

everyone prepare their pitchforks and sharpen your knives

Glasses Supremacy #1

[salutes]

mikumo.

(replying to RiceCannon420)  WHAT HAVE WE SAID ABOUT HAMILTON IN PUBLIC

RiceCannon420

where there is a hamilton joke, there is a way. 

i cannot be stopped 

mikumo.

if i can stop your brother from jumping out of a moving train into a river on MULTIPLE OCCASIONS i can stop a g-d Hamilton joke. 

RiceCannon420

you only stopped him three times, he’s definitely crafted a way to avoid your house on his way to the train station by now

mikumo.

no no i turned his find my friends on so most of the time he doesn't get past me

RiceCannon420

isn't that a bit weird and stalkery?

mikumo.

he does the same thing with me and the mining tunnels in the national park so it's fine.

RiceCannon420

i am now Concerned

Kitora Eye

Mining tunnels?

mikumo.

Okay, so the government used to mine a bunch of stuff out here, like tin and silver, and eventually those things ran out

and it was sort of a Secret because they used it to make ships and guns and stuff

so they just made it a national park and covered up the tunnels

BUT this happened in around 1945 so obvs they uh. did not do a good job.

i actually have some neat papers i found in there if anyone wants to look?

Kitora Eye

Ah. I see

Discount Don Pedro

Aha! those are the tunnels on the diagrams in my father's office. you have my congradulations, mikumo, for finding them- i had thought them filled by now.

=3=

whhas macaroni and cheese

hyuse samu and chika can we go get some

id like to try this “mac and cheese” please 

huise 

ssuire llest go 

knifecat emoji

in conclusion: macaroni is definitely the ramen emoji. 

Miwa Shuji 

No. 

#a_rank

channel description: a channel for A-rank agents. 

arashiyama!

hello! i’m making a shit salad and i need help. give me ingredients, anything goes. 

ContraCode

TORIMARU’S LEFT EYEBROW

torimaru.

I did not agree to this. I need at least paperwork to confirm

Chameleon

…Cactus

Specifically, the cactus that Kikuchihara keeps in our squad room 

Ears

Leave my precious Cory the Cactus alone. You’re just jealous that he loves me more than you

Chameleon

No? Not really?

Kareoke

Cory…

Bonchi Rice Crackers

…Shit?? for the shit salad??

ContraCode

🍑 this thing

Kitora Eye

…ass or peaches

ContraCode

Take it as you will 

I trust you babe

Kitora Eye

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 ilu too bae

FUCK 

KIDO

THE PERSON

FUCK THE PATRIARCHY

Puppykai

Who let kageura out of his dog cage lmao 

someone mute ‘im 

FUCK

shut the FUCK up inukai you little bitch 

Puppykai

yikes, who woke up on the wrong side of the bed? 

ah, hello Kaegura

FUCK

piss off, jackass 

Xx_Yoneya_xX 

Aww, they’re fighting like an old married couple! 

Puppykai

…No.

FUCK

shut the fuck up joneya josuke 

arashiyama!

(replying to FUCK) noted! thank you for the insight

Chameleon

(replying to FUCK) Please don’t insult the Commander like that. He does possess the actual power to kick you out of Border.

FUCK

you can shut the fuck up too you fucked up boy george wannabe

Lone Wolf

A tree

also, the branches of the tree

arashiyama!

SHIT SALAD

-torimaru’s left eyebrow

-cory the cactus (?)

-shit

-ass/peaches

-kido but the person 

-tree

-branch

-satoken’s toenail shavings

this is going to be great! i’ll stop by tamakoma later to pick up torimaru’s eyebrow

satori has generously donated toenails

cory the cactus; be very afraid

Ears

AW HELL NO

torimaru.

Wait WHAT

#general

=3=

can someone help me I think I ruined my ramen

Ricecannon420

Yuma

Yuma what did you do

=3=

in my defense I couldnt read the instructions

Zoekita

I’m worried now…

=3=

uh so I put the water in the ramen and then microwaved it 

it started smoking and there was black stuff all around it

tsuji-kun

oh, dear god

=3=

isn’t that what I was supposed to do, though? 

did I do something wrong

@mikumo. help me

mikumo.

yuma… you’re supposed to boil the water 

=3=

I mean I know that but I’m too lazy and hyuse wwas hungry

I’ve been doing that and its fine

ContraCode

SO IVE BEEN EATING MICROWAVED-WATER-POTENTIALLY-POISONOUS RAMEN THIS WHOLE TIME

KUGA YUMA

=3=

you can’t blame me konami I have no idea how to read 

mikumo.

stop using “i’m illiterate” to win arguments

=3=

YOU use “i got stabbed” to win arguments. i should be allowed to say that i can’t read japanese and get away with it 

hyuss

hhgelp my sotmach hurst

osmauuuuuu

mikumo.

Yuma, you have to boil the water and then put it in the cup and let it sit for like 5 minutes

Hyuse… if u come to my room i have stomach medicine

hyuss

WHHY SI THE ER PLASTSTIC I NMY RAMNEN

Ricecannon420

yuma you just gave hyuse food poisoning again

Kitora Eye

again??

babes im worried for you

ContraCode

We are all worried here at Tamakoma

=3=

IT WAS ONE TIME

hyuse are you okay 

hyuss

hghjkahdbndksnjahs

reijinmaru

Guys, stop eating plastic on your days off. 

mikumo.

hyuse is ok i gave him tylenol

reijinmaru

thats…. not stomach medicine…..

mikumo.

it's not???? then why do my stomachaches get better when i eat it…..

Ricecannon420

your medication reactions are just really weird

like remember the time u overdosed on ibuprofen and hallucinated that yuma was secretly a moose

mikumo.

point taken

Kitora Eye

……Tamakoma is messed up

Ricecannon420

Tamakoma is decadent and depraved

ContraCode

I'm not DEPRAVED

Ricecannon420

it's a hunter s thompson joke

https://sensitiveskinmagazine.com/hunter-s-thompson-the-kentucky-derby-is-decadent-and-depraved/

it's like the Tachikawa of sports journalism

hyuss

osamuuuuuuuu wgat dids ypu GIVE me

mikumo.

tylenol????

hyuss

i fell like im go na dieee

gokna opasd out

mikumo.

……sorry

can someone with upper body strength come help me get him off my floor

Ricecannon420

LMAOOOOOOOOOO

reijinmaru

you're on your own.

Chapter Text

Hello readers, peri and tanvish (hi! I changed my name- theo) here. we want to address something really quick. recently, user Obake_Bakemono posted a (now deleted) World Trigger chatfic that was strikingly similar to ours, down to the formatting and humor used. This is not a callout post, but when i (peri) attempted to have a conversation in the comments of the work, user Obake_Bakemono deleted their fic entirely. Obviously, no resolution was reached. Additionally, not only was our work taken, but there were also similarities found between chapter six of cryalot's there is no escaping the power shrimp duo and chapter two of Obake_Bakemono’s fic. 

This irritated both tanvish and I since 1) no attempt to have a conversation was present, 2) we work hard on every work we publish and to see it so lifelessly hollowed out and republished (but somehow lacking the tanvish+peri spice) is crushing, and 3) plagiarism is very serious. it is not taken lightly and has severe legal repercussions. Not to mention it completely violates Archive Of Our Own’s Terms of Service. 

we don't have proof. the fic was taken down very quickly after Peri confronted him, and all we have is the fallibilty of human memory. Peri took a screenshot of one joke, which reproduced a joke we had Midorikawa make in chapter two. (if anyone wants proof, by the way, send me your discord tag -peri) Not only was this joke used once, but it proceeded to become the majority of the skit in chapter four of Obake_Bakemono’s work. the joke of the insect in Hyuse's room in chapter two of Obake’s was almost word-for-word to cryalot's, with the insect changed to a cricket.

but what struck us is that the structure of the first chapter was almost identical to ours. if it had just been that they opened with the formation of the chat and introductions, that would have been fine; it's a convention of the genre. but the formatting of their introductions was almost identical to ours, with different fun facts added to make it less obvious. If you read the first two chapters of our fic, however, the formatting was still the same: Name, Pronouns, Age, and a Fun Fact. In both fics, the pronouns and fun facts were used to either show headcanons of ours or start a joke that would shift from the introductions channel to the general chat. This was seen in chapter one of both of our fics. This is not a convention of the genre; in fact, the only fic in this fandom that it appears in is ours. And our fic was published months before Obake’s. 

 they also had very similar usernames- chika in our fic is Ricecannon420, in theirs she was Rice Eater. With such a complex character like Chika, there are several options for usernames that are still funny and witty. Her liking of rice is a small, almost dismissable fact that we just chose to include for a gag. So why such a similar username? 

What we’re articulating is this: It’s incredibly disrespectful to plagiarize. And it’s also painfully obvious. We picked up all these examples because Theo and I wrote the goddamn fic . We know this fic by heart. I, Peri, pour all of myself into my writing, which sounds ridiculous for a chatfic. And Obake_Bakemono not only stole it but failed to show the nuances to each character that were present in ours. 

We know our fic is a bit out there. So are we. We bare the dark, weird depths of our souls in our work, because frankly nowhere else seems to be particuarly welcoming to us. Even in a chatfic. And this is where plagiarization falls short. There is no originality. There is no weird. It's the fanfiction equivalent of $200 watered down goth fashion, $30 designer pins, jackets made of fake leather and presewn patches. Artifical authenticity. You can try to fabricate it with empty jokes and half-original usernames, but in the end, you’re still adhering to an idea that’s already been thought of before. And that inherently downgrades the quality but also disrespects the origin work which was stolen. It’s painfully obvious when your jokes are stolen, but the zinger is when the copycat work lacks any amount of superficial humor.

We know it's counterintuitive to think of an ao3 tag as a community. I, Tanvish, personally don't think we are, for the most part. I think that to be a community, we would have to be on a more social site than ao3. But we're a smallish group, and I know most of you all by username and subject matter, in a perfunctory kind of way. I assume that's how most of you know Peri and I. We're not a close-knit group. Obake_Bakemono isn't our friend, or our enemy. They're just another person, doing their own thing in our general vicinity. We don't have a problem with them doing that, or continuing to do that. Frankly, we would be remiss to make sweeping moral judgements based on someone's behavior on the internet. 

However, someone's behavior in a group setting- even an Ao3 tag- reflects their character.  Peri and I feel that while we don't know what this person is like at all- and probably won't ever because we certainly don't feel eager to become friends with them after this- that their actions around this fanfiction have reflected very poorly on their character. It sounds ridiculous - something as trivial as fanfiction - but fanfiction isn't trivial. 

This-fanfiction-is an important part of Peri and I's lives. If you read any of our fics you know how weird and outlandish we can be. Theo comes into my messages and is all “what if chika killed people and then rinji ran a drug empire” and it’ll just be a normal tuesday. And I do the exact same: see “jin is a serial killer and yuma can only taste avocado chocolate taro banana watermelon boba tea”. And people like that - people like us - don’t usually earn places in society. So fanfiction is a medium that we use so that we can be ourselves. It hurts to see that form of escape be co-opted into someone else's subpar fanfiction.

So, for next time: We will not be holding back next time. Anyone who tries to take this work or, really, any of our works will be immediately reported. It sucks that we have to say this. Theo, for one, reads every single fic that pops up in the World Trigger tag. I read whatever intrigues me. It’s okay to take inspiration; theo and I are constantly inspiring each other. Hell, i’m inspired every day by like, living . It’s not okay to copy word for word what someone worked hard on. We’re disappointed and a bit pissed. 

Until next chapter,

Peri and Tanvish

Chapter Text

#a_rank

channel description: a channel for A-rank agents. 

tsuji-kun

…i’ve found someone’s drink in the a-rank lounge

Chameleon

Why do you still have access to that room?

tsuji-kun

i don’t know, i just swiped my Border ID like all the other doors and it let me in

and also, i still dont know where ninomiya squad’s room is

i am also hungry. the a-rank lounge has the best snacks

Puppykai

Is this nepotism?

Chameleon

Wait. Why are Tsuji and Inukai in the A-rank channel?

Mikaho

Tsuji? Breaking and entering? 

Curious. I would never expect that

tsuji-kun

nno

???

Puppykai

What about that one time when you took a cookie from the cafeteria

tsuji-kun

i was twelve leave me alone inukai

Puppykai

No 

That was my cookie

tsuji-kun

you were thirteen? it was five years ago?

leave me alone

anyways. this juice smells weird

and it’s this really strange red color?

Puppykai

Have you asked Yoneya?

He seems like the kind of person to drink things of the sort 

tsuji-kun

i have nothing better to do anyways…

Chameleon

@Xx_Yoneya_xX

tsuji-kun

@Xx_Yoneya_xX

@Xx_Yoneya_xX

@Xx_Yoneya_xX

@Xx_Yoneya_xX

Chameleon

@Xx_Yoneya_xX

Lone Wolf

@Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX @Xx_Yoneya_xX

Shuji Miwa

Wow. How long did it take you to type that

arashiyama!

(replying to Lone Wolf) word of advice: copying and pasting his username like that only pings him once! 

Xx_Yoneya_xX

WHY DO I HAVE PINGS

You are all gargoyles

Shuji Miwa

And WE’RE the crazy ones.

Xx_Yoneya_xX

I KNEW YOU WEREN’T OFFLINE THIS WHOLE TIME

Your bullshit is astronomical 

Shuji Miwa

Woah, nice vocabulary!

tsuji-kun

yoneya is this your strange fruit juice in the a-rank lounge

i think it’s cranberry but i think it went kinda bad…

Xx_Yoneya_xX

Um

Depends

Puppykai

wdym “Depends”

Xx_Yoneya_xX

Well if it’s V8 juice then it’s tomas

He likes that stuff for some reason

If it’s not V8… then it’s probably Jin’s blood stash

Mikaho

V8?

Chameleon

BLOOD STASH??

Xx_Yoneya_xX

Yeah, I thought you knew about that?

Narasaka

Oh, no

Xx_Yoneya_xX

V8 is like this tomato juice

but it has 8 different kinds of vegetables in it

tsuji-kun

can i drink this V8 as a substitute for vegetables?

arashiyama!

(replying to tsuji-kun) while V8 contains purees of all sorts of vegetables, drinking V8 should not take the place of eating vegetables. nutrients are lost in the pasteurization process, and most of the fiber is removed in the form of pulp. V8 also contains some additives of questionable nutritional value.

Puppykai

wait Toma drinks that straight up

tsuji-kun

…questionable nutritional value…

Xx_Yoneya_xX

Yes

Do not ask me why

TwinSnipre69

one time I did an experiment where all i drank was heated V8

it tastes like tomato soup! 

Mihako

Why would anyone drink cold tomato soup? And from a can?

TwinSnipre69

however I probably developed calcium deficiency while doing that

Overall do not recommend!

arashiyama!

ah, i remember that!

please no one do this

satoken is a terrible influence, i’m afraid

Kitora Eye

Never again.

yuzuruuuu

(replying to TwinSnipre69) How did you develop calcium deficiency from drinking V8?

TwinSnipre69

Speak of the devil!

it turns out there is not a lot of magnesium in V8. I thought because there are carrots it would be ok but it’s not! 

tsuji-kun

okay. it says there’s watercress in V8

what the hell is watercress

MEE6

tsuji-kun has been warned.

Reason: swearing

tsuji-kun

this bot is really annoying

it picks up on that?

do i have to start saying h-e-double-hockey-sticks now?

Chameleon

It’s advanced like that because kitagawa recoded most of the MEE6 commands. 

knifecat emoji

is that a /sarc or a /gen

tsuji-kun

what do those funny words mean

arashiyama!

(replying to tsuji-kun) watercress or yellowcress (nasturtium officinale) is a species of aquatic flowering plant in the cabbage family brassicaceae. watercress is a rapidly growing, perennial plant native to europe and asia. 

it is one of the oldest known leaf vegetables consumed by humans. watercress and many of its relatives, such as garden cress, mustard, radish, and wasabi, are noteworthy for their piquant flavors.

Xx_Yoneya_xX

Round of applause to Arashiyama, our human encyclopedia! 

Kitora Eye

(replying to Xx_Yoneya_xX) He’s not actually this smart in real life he’s just copying and pasting from Wikipedia and then deleting all the capital letters 

arashiyama!

KIOTRA

i thought you loved me… 

:(

Kitora Eye

“KIOTRA”

My only love is Konami. 

ContraCode

best girlfriend <3

—

#high_schoolers

channel description: a channel for chatting, geared towards academics for high schoolers. if you need help with schoolwork or simply want to talk about how much you hate your classes, this is the place.

Ricecannon420

the man is keeping me down :(

FUCK

what tf happened???

Ricecannon420

so we had a poetry assignment

and the assignment was "write about a time that you did something that you really really wanted to do because someone said you shouldn't, and then it worked out badly"

and i!!!!!! wrote about punching my calssmate in the face in third grade!!!! bc he called me crazy!!!!

FUCK

punching out little shits is al;ways a good thing.

MEE6

FUCK has been warned.

Reason: swearing

Ricecannon420

ikr?

Ears

 how did you get into the high school channel.

Ricecannon420

piss off i do what i want.

=3=

It’s true she does do whatever she wants

FUCK

i can respect that

fuck them kids lmao

MEE6

FUCK has been warned.

Reason: swearing

Ricecannon420

exactly! kage gets it 

Kitora Eye

as a pr rep i should not approve of violence but as a person i approve of punching assholes.

MEE6

Kitora Eye has been warned.

Reason: swearing

Kitora Eye

why do we even have that bot

we are teenagers! we swear

Ricecannon420

it’s the patriarchy

Kitora Eye

Ew. fuck the patriarchy

MEE6

Kitora Eye has been warned.

Reason: swearing

Ricecannon420

how many warnings can you get without being banned, anyways?

because i think kageura has like 40 and this server has been up for a month 

mikumo.

it’s actually been 62 times. yuma is betting whether he’ll breach 1,000 by the end of the year

Ricecannon420

osamu it’s 1 am. go to sleep.

mikumo.

ok, what the heck is this crazy double standard??

chika and kitora are allowed to be up late but when i stay awake to prepare for rank wars i get chastised??? 

Ricecannon420

because we’re not up at 1 am EVERY NIGHT. GO SLEEP. YOU BARBARIAN.

mikumo.

you can’t force me to do anything. 

=3=

go to sleep osamu

huise

if ioyui dint slep right kniw in goiing to bitr ur tonails of f

mikumo.

is this some corporate mental health scheme. because it’s not going to work.

=3=

but osamuuuu uu 

Ricecannon420

yeah, osamu!!!!

huise

ur tonails will be d

mikumo. 

if u bite off my toenails i will stop buying u markers whenver you see a nice set and want it on impule

huise

../…, sprry

ypur toes arfe safe 

mikumo.

thank you.

=3= 

hyuse no… don't surrender so easily….

huise 

u afren't into art kuge

=3= 

what does that mean?????

huise

osamu vuys me markerds every tyime we fgo to tge malk soi lobve him more tgen i love ypu

Ricecannon420

so this is a sugar daddyt situation? is that what you're telling me?

mikumo.

CHIKA OH MY GOD I AM NOT HIS SUGAR DADDY

=3= 

ya you're hjs marker daddy

mikumo.

no!! bad kuga!!!! stop it!!!

Kitora Eye

GOD why do i talk to you people. 

=3=

you should sleep, kitora. you are not a creature of the night. or a marker daddy of the night

Ears

what the Fuck happened in this chat???? i left you people alone for TEN MINUTES while i ate dinner

MEE6

Ears has been warned.

Reason: swearing

=3=

im being cheated on apparently

Ricecannon420

as am i

Ears

what.

Ricecannon420

our bffs are buying markers together

=3=

i am devestated by this shocking betrayal of my trust

FUCK

so like platonically or romantically????? 

mikumo.

yes.

Ricecannon420

um. artistically obvs

huise

goitta sayg thatc yu0u werent concverbned about nuch when we mafde out last weedk

mikumo.

THAT WAS DIFFERENT

huise

how soj

Ricecannon420

do you guys think squid have feelings

Kitora Eye

i would say no but the question feels like a trap????

Ears

can't belive i agree with kitora on something but yeah

Ricecannon420

i bought one of those live squid and im contemplating whether or not to just eat it alive 

=3=

i will give you ten thousand yen to eat it alive. 

mikumo.

i feel like this is a morally suspect action to be undertaking at 1:30 am on a wednesday night. like some eldrich squid god is going to come eat you if you do that

Ricecannon420

but the squiirels are gonna get me before that so it's a moot point

FUCK

what do you fucking mean the squirrels are going to get you

MEE6

FUCK has been warned.

Reason: swearing

=3=

did u go to the squirrel rock again

huise

wjhy do ypu keep goinfg tghere

Ricecannon420

i do what i want squirrels be damned. that said there are like 200 of them stalking me and the only way i get out alive is if i eat my live squid that i have on ice because that's what they're after and i need to assert dominance.

mikumo.

you know, it would have been really easy to have not gotten into this situation in the first place

Kitora Eye

wait are you the one yelling and waving a flashlight around in the park next to my house 

Ricecannon420

maybe??? do we live in the same neighborhood????

=3=

i mean…..

mikumo.

not the time kuga

Kitora Eye

do you live by city hall and that one department store that does Hell Ramen?

Ricecannon420

yeah and the geology museum?

Kitora Eye

huh neat. will you stop screaming i am trying to sleep

Ricecannon420

k imma eat the squid

mikumo.

chika no think of the squid gods

Ricecannon420

god is questionably extant but squirrels are undoubtably real.

mikumo.

you are going to get food poisoning.

huise

sotill waitng on that answer

Chapter Text

it's objectively funny though