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Chapter Text

Damian received his first assignment from the Wayne Enterprises PR Team two days later via email. Well… more like Bruce Wayne sent him a heavily edited version of what they wanted from Damian. His father also sent him several bags of expensive fruits for Goliath’s pleasure and a cryptic note on the door telling Damian he loved him. 

Damian laments making his father apologize for nothing except the fact his son was a fundamentally broken person, but he won't ask for forgiveness. Damian’s emotionally stunted self reciprocated the gesture by painting a miniature watercolor portrait of the two of them that mirrors the one of Bruce and his parents that menacingly looms above the fireplace.

Like father, like son.

Soul-crushing guilt from both parties aside, Damian’s first task is to make his first post on social media. Truthfully, Damian finds the entire concept of social media rather asinine. What started as a revolutionary method of communication ended up becoming an echo chamber of the worst humanity has to offer reinforcing itself. He doesn’t see the purpose of sharing personal information with others without compensation as information and privacy are the most important assets a human can have in the modern world. Damian is thankful that he’s at least getting paid to embarrass himself online unlike the majority of the world.

Damian is no stranger to social media as it’s the easiest way to learn about a person for blackmail purposes. He’s seen his friends post on it and is occasionally forced to wait for someone while they spend five minutes getting a picture of their food before they can eat. Now he’s forced to make his first post.

He was given a separate phone for work purposes with all of his new verified accounts, but he’s unsure of what to do. It’s funny to him in a sense because some people are forced to have a social media presence since birth, yet somehow Damian’s been able to keep himself off this accursed invention.

That night he lays in bed with his cat, Alfred, with an empty textbox taunting him. He’s not trying to become the next big star, so he is unsure why he’s hesitating. Fed up with himself, Damian takes a quick selfie with his cat and posts it without context. Without looking at his phone, he tosses it into the nightstand drawer and goes to sleep.

The next morning, Damian picks up the phone to go out and do another task dictated by his father’s company when he sees a few comments. His first post made it to the front page, but that’s not because it was interesting. Wayne Enterprises probably paid for that so it could reach more people. He skims the first few comments with a scowl which deepens upon reading the contents.

@AnnieBannie_7564 8hr ago
Awwww! What a cute cat! I love her! I have a tuxedo cat too and they are so sweet! But why does he look so unhappy? I could never be unhappy with my cat.
🗯1  ↻ 12 ♡28

@BatmanTHICK6969 8hr ago
↳DON’T ASSUME THE CAT’S GENDER IT COULD BE A BOY!!
🗯0  ↻ 15 ♡34

@No_More_Heroes 8hr ago

Is his face broken? Why isn’t he smiling? He’s rich, he should be happier
🗯0  ↻ 2 ♡45

@Eat_The_Rich12 7hr ago
I see cat, I like. Simple 🐈😻
🗯0  ↻ 0 ♡5

@Eat_The_Rich12 7hr ago
Urgh. NOt another kid of a billionaire using their daddy’s money to try getting even richer. Why do people even follow these accounts? just fucking get rid of the entire genre. No one likes you 🙄
🗯2  ↻ 98 ♡654

@RobinMyLuv 6hr ago
↳Bro WTF that a child
🗯1  ↻ 147 ♡87

@Wonder_Woman’s_Bitch233 7hr ago
Did he lighten his skin? I heard he was supposed to be middle eastern. He not dark enough so it’s probably white-washed him to look more like his dad. I bet he’s actually adopted
🗯23  ↻ 84 ♡289

That solidifies Damian’s opinion of social media. He logs out of that particular app and sets forth to collect his thralls (friends) to his side to serve him in his next task. When he walks out of the manor to where their town car is usually parked, instead of Pennyworth at the helm it is the worst sight he’s ever set his eyes upon.

“Hurry up, Brat,” Timothy Drake-Wayne groans, slumped in the front seat of a silver Rolls-Royce drophead Damian recognizes as the highlight of Tim’s birthday party. He looked as enthusiastic as Damian felt.

“ Nooooooooooo,” The boy immediately rejects, turning around to confront his father about this offense. He regrets sending him a peace offering. “No. This is not happening! Drake, leave if you know what’s good for you.”

“Get over it, Gremlin. B told me I had to do this,” The 17-year-old elaborates before impatiently honking the horn. “Now get in the car or we’re both not getting anything out of this!”

“Arrrrrgggghhhhh! I fucking hate you!” Damian roars into the air causing the birds in the forested area of their property to fly away. He makes a mental note to leave out more seeds for them when he returns, then he slams the door to the convertible causing Tim to swat at him like a fly. Damian retaliates like a cornered cat.

After several minutes wasted on attempted fratricide through the art of slap-fighting, the brothers bitterly start their way down the tallest hill in Gotham. With crossed arms and a defeated posture, Damian glares at his least-favorable sibling and asks, “What accursed bargain has Father offered that compelled you to chauffeur my entourage like a proletarian helot?”

“You don’t think I wanted to make sure you were safe in your new business venture? After all, if you work for Wayne Enterprises, you’ll work for me one day. I just want to make sure my employees are taken care of.” Tim says in the most condescending way possible, making Damian want to punch him in his smarmy face. The only reason he doesn’t is that he doesn’t want his commute to Gotham to be on foot.

“I’d rather believe you’ve been replaced by an alien hive mind before entertaining the thought you’d drive me anywhere without something tangible in return.”

“Is the embarrassment radiating off of you not tangible enough?” The teenager chuckles as he looks at Damian’s deadpan expression. “Alright, fine. Bruce promised not to get mad at me for something Young Justice related, but that’s all I’m going to say.”

How dare his brother make such a deal with their father; Damian should have thought of it first and is ashamed it wasn’t his idea. “If I knew we could preemptively bargain for pardons on future actions I would’ve done so a long time ago! Why am I only hearing about this now!?”

“Don’t even think about it, Brat. There’s nothing your pint-size self could offer him that the rest of us couldn’t.”

“Why not? I’m the better driver out of the two of us seeing as your turns are too wide.” Damian scoffs and revels at the sound of Timothy’s grip tightening on the steering wheel's leather.

“That’s a lot of backseat driving for someone who doesn’t reach the height limit for sitting in the front seat.”

It was obvious that this drive would be a tumultuous one. They picked up Maps first as she lived closest to Wayne Manor in the richest area in Gotham, Gotham Heights. Damian has yet to text the friend of his arrival when he sees her barreling down her driveway with a litany of mismatched colorful clips falling out of her hair and a terrified expression. A very angry elderly woman on her heels with a broom in one hand and a cat in the other. All three of them were soaking wet.

“Drive, drive, drive!” She commands as she dives into the backseat of the convertible without even opening the door. “Drive like your life depends on it!”

“ここに戻って!” The woman exclaims as she swats the broom at the car.

“おばあちゃん、私は夕食前に家に帰ります!” Maps shout back as Tim steps on the gas. Once they’re out of sight of her house, the young girl buckles her seatbelt and sprawls in her seat. “Ahhh, freedom at last!”

“That was your grandmother,” Damian states, handing her a handkerchief to wipe her… everything. “What did you do?”

“You better not ruin my car, I just got this!” Tim complains.

“Oh my gosh, hi Tim!” Maps greets, ignoring Damian’s indignant squawk. “Soooooo, how have you been? Have you done anything cool as Robin lately? Why are you driving us? Are you going on a mission later? Can I come? Is Robin allowed to date-”

“Damian,” The teenager says in a threatening manner.

Damian snaps his fingers sharply like he would to get his dog’s attention. “Maps, if you’re trying to date my brother I am kicking you out and stealing your cat.”

“I’m not! I’m just curious! I mean, your brother is Robin! I still can’t get over that! He’s literally everything I want to be!”

“-TT- Don’t praise this replacement for something he didn’t earn in my presence,” The young boy hisses. “And you never answered my question.”

“Oh yeah! I left the bathtub running and it leaked downstairs so I was trying to cover it up before Obāsan found out but she saw me right before I fixed it and got as soaked as I did. At least I fixed it before I left so we don’t have to hire a plumber.”

“How do you always find a way to get in trouble?”

“Look who's talkin’!”

Then they were off to pick up Colin Wilkes on the opposite side of Gotham, the Bowery. It’s a street each of the Wayne children is hauntingly familiar with for one reason or another. Some have lived here once upon a time while others end up here on nightly patrols due to the high crime rates. In Damian’s case, he’s familiar with it because of the legacy it holds for his bloodline.

“Hey Damian, that’s where your grandparents died!”

“Maps, seriously!?”

“What? There’s even a sign!”

Indeed, a plaque indicated the exact spot where Thomas and Martha Wayne were shot to death by a nameless mugger. It was even a shining gold color, although not actually gold because then it would just get stolen. There’s a reason this specific street in the Bowery was named Crime Alley.

Even though this area has the highest crime rate in Gotham, which is saying a lot, there tended to be a lot of people loitering around here to visit this historical site. This includes taking pictures with it and using this area as a backdrop for an emotional social media post.

Yep, that’s right. The spot where Damian’s grandparents died is a tourist destination. His father has strong feelings about the perversion of his parents' memory, but he kept those between him and the president of the Gotham Tourism Bureau he punched in the face. Disturbing romanticism of his paternal grandparents’ murders aside, Damian does his best to ignore that certain area mostly due to its association with his family’s history.

Anyway, he was here to pick up his friend and then get the hell out.

The second Tim parked in front of Collin’s apartment complex, the Rolls-Royce convertible was swarmed by a crowd wondering who would be driving such an expensive car in the worst part of town. Many of the people started to take photos of them with their phones and Tim flipped a switch on the dashboard to unravel the roof over their heads. As the group is covered, they see a mop of red hair waft through the gathering. 

“Hey! Get away from there!” Colin yells, squeezing through two teenagers near the front. “Fuck off! All of ya!”

“Colin riding with the rich kids now?” One of the teens teases, punching him in the shoulder a little too hard.

“Ooooo~ Colin thinks he’s too good for us!” Another one taunts. “Hey Colin, when are ya gonna share some of that with the rest of us?”

“In your fucking dreams,” The 12-year-old replies as he opens the door.

“Is your pig uncle making sure of that?” An older teen with bright blue hair taunts as a younger bruised teenage boy with black hair hides behind her.

Colin rolls his pale blue eyes at her and flips the duo off. “I don’t know, is your deadbeat dad gonna help you? Oh wait, he can’t!”

“Fuck you, Colin!” The girl clamors and throws an unopened can of cola at him.

“Fuck you, Harper!” Colin calls as he catches the drink before it can shatter the glass. He gets in and flips her off again out the window. “None of us can afford to damage this car, and I’m keeping this soda!”

“Good, now fuck off!” Harper shouts and sticks both her middle fingers at the retreating car with a smile.

Colin brushes it off and waves to Maps who is clutching her goose-shaped purse to her chest as she leans away from the windows. “Hey Maps."

“Hey Colin,” She replies, fixing her damp hair. “Didn’t know you lived here.”

“We usually meet up at Damian’s house so it never came up.” He shrugs as he leans forward to rest his chin on the back of Damian’s seat in front of him. “Damian, if you wanted to come here without drawing attention you failed. You failed so hard.”

“Shut up. I didn’t choose to be chauffeured around in this by Drake.” 

Colin looks to the driver to notice it’s not Alfred driving them like he usually would. “Uh… Hi Tim.”

“Hi Colin, put your seatbelt on,” The 17-year-old greets as he makes sure the boy puts on his safety belt. “Who was that girl? Is she giving you trouble?”

“Nah, that’s just Harper; She’s cool, but her Dad is an asshole.”

“Who’s the boy behind her staring at Tim?” Maps asks.

“That’s her brother, Cullen. He’s… quiet. I think he’s cool too, but he doesn’t talk much.”  He answers and puts his soda away so he can unravel a folded paper from his jeans pockets. “Anyways, I got my uncle to sign the permission slip. He’s going to call your dad about it later.”

“Oh yeah! Mine too!” The girl is reminded and shoves her hand violently into the goose to hand Damian the papers. “Not my uncle, but my mom. Honestly, I don’t even think she read it. She just saw you were a part of it and signed it without looking into it more. I don’t know. Something about making connections for the future since I don’t have much going for me, unlike Kyle.”

“Maps, are you alright at home?” Tim asks, eyeing her with concern through the mirror.

“What? Of course I am! Why do you ask?”

“We don’t have time to unpack that,” Damian states as he takes the papers. “I have to take pictures. Afterward, I have to review mock-up posts for each of my new accounts.”

“What? You’re not even the one writing them?”

“No. First of all,” Damian extends his arm out with a new company cell phone in hand and takes a selfie with his two friends behind him. “That’s one picture out of the way.”

“Hey, I wasn’t ready!” Maps cries as she takes out her phone to use as a mirror to rearrange the clips in her hair. “Give me a second before you start taking pics of me!”

“I don’t care. Not like anything I do will change how I look.” Colin shrugs.

“Now?” Damian sighs after waiting for Maps to put her phone away.

“Yes!” She grins. “I’m ready!”

He takes another picture of the three of them and then turns around to show them his screen. “Better?”

His two friends stare at the image with unreadable expressions which concerns Damian more than he’s willing to admit. He prides himself in his masterful reading of all languages; body language being one of them. 

“Dude,” Colin states, taking the phone from him.

“Damian, what the Hell?” Maps ungracefully blurts out as she ogles intensely at the photo.

What is it with people questioning him lately? “What’s wrong this time?” He replies tiredly.

“Nothing! You look… you look- um…” Maps stutters trying to find the least offensive way to say what she wants.

“You look normal,” Colin fills in for her to which she vigorously nods along.

“Yeah, that.”

“Hold up, let me see!” Tim urges as they reach a stop light. He turns to look at the phone before his face drops to that same unreadable expression the other two had. “What the fuck?”

“And what is wrong with looking normal? I thought people liked it when I acted my age.” Damian grumbles, angrily huffing in his seat.

His brother sighs as he faces the front again. “Acting your age and acting like a stranger are two different things.”

“Then tell me, Drake; Do I have a likable personality? Have I ever given off the impression I’m approachable?”

The palpable pause is enough of an answer, but the teenager tries to come up with some response. “Damian, you give everyone a look like you want them dead.”

“My resting murder face is immaculate, yet it hasn’t done me any favors in the realm of likeability. People are rarely drawn to those who want them dead.” Damian informs him as he slouches further into his seat. “I’m not trying to thrive, just survive. The social world is filled with mediocrity; another drop in the bucket would go unnoticed while still relevant enough to stay profitable. It also reduces the likelihood of being connected to my secret identity.”

“Aren’t you, like, hyper-competitive?” Colin points out.

“Yeah, you knocked a kid out for getting you out in dodgeball. Then you tried doing the same to our gym teacher.” Maps helpfully supplied as she recalls the brutal memory of her friend caving in a boy’s face with a red rubber ball. She never knew something so soft could cause so much damage.

“It was a fluke! He got lucky and it shouldn’t have counted because it was a headshot!” The billionaire's son explodes at the vexing memory.

"How haven't you been expelled yet?" Tim questions no one in particular.

"Cause his dad is super rich," Colin answers with the tact of a drive-by shooting.

Speaking of tactless people, Jonathan Samuel Kent was secretly training his powers. That would be the case if the definition of "secretly" is burning an entire field of corn down with a wall of fire that could be seen from space, and screaming so loud the heavens could hear him.

"AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!" Kathy screams as she runs in a spiral pattern with several buckets of water hectically hovering around her.

"KATHY MY MOM WILL KILL US!" Jon wails as he thrashes on the ground with flames eating away at his overalls. Truly, he is the master of stealth and espionage. Our hero.

Our hero, and a fortune teller as Lois Lane-Kent kicks down the patio screen door to the back of the farmhouse with Krypto shooting off behind her. There was murder behind those lavender eyes and they were directed at her very stupid son. "Jonathan Samuel Kent, what did I tell you about using your powers at home when your Dad or Kara aren't around!?"

"MOM, I’M ON FIRE!"

"I KNOW! I CAN SEE THAT!" She hollers as she begins to beat him down with a heavy fire blanket saved for this very occasion. Well, not exactly this one, but recently her beautiful baby boy has made a habit of becoming a fire hazard.

Krypto blows the fire out with his ice breath, accidentally hitting Kathy in the process as her buckets of water fall frozen to the ground. Her peachy skin turns green as she loses concentration on her powers in return for not freezing to death.

After cooling off one child and defrosting the other, Lois had both children sitting on the porch swing in front of her a little worse for wear. She covers her eyes with her left hand while simultaneously looking at the sky. The universal sign for a parent being angry but too tired to yell at their kid.

Farmer Cobb approaches the group and raises a bushy brow at their crops because Krypto is happily rolling around in a patch of ashes. “Heya Lois, I thought we were burning our pastures at the end of August.”

“Hi Cobb, thanks for coming on short notice.” Lois acknowledges, taking her hand away from her face to wave at him.

“Ain’t nothing short notice when it comes to good neighbors,” The portly man replies, taking off his bucket hat under the shaded porch. “Now, what’s this about?”

She signs and gestures to the children in different states of disarray. “Jonathan decided to test his powers without supervision and Kathy helped.”

“Kathy…” The farmer shook his head in disappointment which hurt more than if he were to yell.

“I was just trying to help, Grandpa.” The girl whimpers, looking up at her family with large pleading eyes.

“I know, I know. Don’t give me the sad eyes, Kathy.” Farmer Cobb frowns and turns to the woman next to him. “I’ll give her a stern talkin’ to at home. Sorry for the trouble.”

“Thank you.”

The man holds his hand out to patiently wait for his granddaughter to move with him. “Come on Kathy, let’s get going, and don’t forget to hide your green. I know a good many of the folks in this town are like us, but that doesn’t mean we can drop our guard.”

“I know…” She sighs as her green is overshadowed by a more conventional peachy flesh hue. “See ya later Jon.”

“Bye Kathy,” Jonathan hesitantly says, knowing he’s going to be thoroughly scolded once she leaves.

Lois plops herself down next to him on the porch swings and allows the two of them to sway for a few moments; the calm before the storm. “Jon, you know how dangerous it is to practice your powers. If Krypto wasn’t home, we would’ve lost more than half the field.” She states firmly without raising her voice.

“I didn’t mean to.” The boy weakly defends with the understanding that it will accomplish nothing.

“Of course you didn’t, but intentions and consequences are different.” Lois counters with a stern glare. “What if you or Kathy got hurt? Could you look Mr. Cobb in the eye and tell him his granddaughter was hurt after all he’s already been through?”

If Jonathan wasn’t feeling guilty before he is now. There is a reason Kathy lives with her grandfather. “No.”

“You just finished your last grounding not too long ago and now you’re looking for another. What were you thinking?”

“I was trying to use my heat vision and fly at the same time,” Jon answers meekly as he realizes with the power of hindsight how stupid that sounds.

“Of all the powers to try and use together-” She stops herself before she can say something she regrets. “Jon, you’re smarter than this. When your father and I agreed to allow you to do your superhero-thing with Damian we thought it would help you learn more about your limits. It’s why you’re not allowed to use your powers without supervision, and that doesn’t change at home.”

“Yes Mom…” 

“Your father and cousin would have been more than happy to help train you if you’d ask. All you would have to do is wait a bit until they were free. Heck, even Conner would have been a better choice than this.”

“What do you mean, ‘Even Conner?’” Said teenager scoffs offended by the unsaid accusation. The pair look to the front of the house to see Conner floating down to their lawn with his duffle bag over his shoulder and a suitcase under his arm. “I’m a great choice and I have time.”

“Hi Conner,” Jonathan’s mother greets, a bit stiff and confused given the fact that her teen stepson wasn’t supposed to be home until the weekend. “What are you doing here?”

“What? Am I not allowed to be here? This is my home too.”

“That’s not- urgh, you know what I mean.”

The bulky teen shrugs and ruffles Jon’s hair as he stands in front of him. “I wanted to stay over a bit longer. It’s summer so I don’t see the problem.”

They are halfway through summer vacation already, but Lois doesn't bring that up. “Alright, but I’d like to be told ahead of time.”

“What do you mean? I told my dad to call you right before I left,” Conner states as he wipes the sweat off his brow and wipes it on his black gym shorts.

Before Lois can respond her cell phone rings and she checks it to see the name she hates the most on there. She doesn’t immediately answer it and stares at Conner disapprovingly. “That doesn’t mean much when you have super speed.”

“But it means something! Come on Jon, come help me put my stuff away!” He walks inside the house and holds the door for his little brother to follow.

Jon jumps at the opportunity to leave this conversation with his mom, but she grabs his wrist before he can take a single step. “Jonathan, we aren’t done talking.”

“Aww.” The boy pouts.

“Come on, Lois. Can’t you nag at him later?” Conner grumbles.

“Conner, I might not be your mother, but this is still my home and Jonathan is still my son. You can’t keep ignoring my authority when it comes to these things.”

“But this is a superpower thing, which means it’s a Kryptonian thing, and I’m a Kryptonian. Look, I can handle this for you and help Jonathan train his powers.”

“Whatever,” She waves off dismissively because she doesn’t want to argue with the teen. “But you’ll both be hearing from your Dad-”

“Pa.”

“You know what I mean.” The woman sighs. “And Jonathan you’re not allowed to hang out with your friends for one week; that includes calls from Damian.”

“WHAT!?” Jonathan screeches indignantly. “Mom, you can’t do this!”

“I can and I will since banning you from TV or video games isn’t working.”

“But mom! What if Damian needs me!?”

Lavender eyes roll at the inquiry. “I know you’re not going on any outings with him for a while, and I’m sure Damian can manage without you for a week. If it’s that important he can leave a message on the landline your father refuses to unplug. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to call… Ugh, Luthor.”

The 11-year-old makes a series of unintelligible noises to express his displeasure but doesn’t try to argue with his mother about it. Conner messes with his hair again and playfully places his oversized aviator sunglasses on Jon’s head. “What happened? I mean, I can guess but-”

“I tried to use two powers at once and burned down an entire field.” Jonathan curtly tells him as he stomps up the stairs.

“That explains the smoke,” Conner chuckles as he fiddles with his duffle bag to find the key to his room. His room at the end of the hall was the only bedroom in the house that had a lock, and he liked to make sure no one could enter it when he was not home. “Well, I don’t know why she thinks I should be in trouble, but at least yours makes sense. Let’s put my stuff in my room and then I’ll show you how to use your powers in a cool way just like me.”

Jonathan was about to agree before he passed his room and saw his messy desk, reminding him of his other obligations. “Actually, can you help me with something else?”

“Sure, I can help you with anything!” The older male confidently declares as he tries to find his key. “Where the heck is it? I know it’s in one of these pockets.”

“There’s a program in Coast City that I wanted to volunteer Mr. Fisher for, but the paperwork is kinda confusing. Also, I lost it.”

“Who? You know what, it's not important. I can do that, but isn’t it kinda weird to volunteer someone else for something?” Conner points out as he continues to struggle. “Oh shit, I have x-ray vision. I’m such a dumbass.”

“Swear.” Jonathan scolds his brother before elaborating on his predicament. “They’re mostly applications to charity organizations because Mr. Fisher isn’t legally able to file it himself. I don’t have all the information I need to fill them out myself, but Dad said he’d do the rest if I can put down most of it myself.”

“Can’t you just ask Pa to do it all for you?”

“He offered, but I wanted to do it myself since this is related to my superhero thing.”

Conner glances into Jonathan’s room after he finds his key and then at the boy himself. “I don’t know why you need to since it’s all filled out.”

“What?” Jonathan blurts out with confusion. 

“In your desk drawer,” Conner instructs as he opens his door and messily tosses his stuff inside. He walks back to Jonathan who is now hurriedly rummaging through his desk to find the documents he believed were once lost with a manic look in his eyes. “Uh… Jon? Buddy? You okay? You’re lookin’ kinda… crazy.”

When Jon finally gets his hands on the papers he stares at them intensely, his fingers crinkling the edges and his arms shaking with the intensity of his grip. Conner tries to put a hand on his brother’s shoulder but is halted by the sudden appearance of the fiery veins creepily crawling down his body. They faded methodically in and out of existence like a heartbeat.

“Holy shit, what the fuck-”

“THAT SON OF A BITCH!” Jonathan erupts metaphorically, but from Conner’s point of view, it almost feels literal because when Jon whips his head to look at him he doesn’t see blue eyes anymore. He doesn’t even see the red rage of laser vision. No, they were gold. “THAT SLIMY, NO GOOD, LYING, BASTARD! I KNEW IT! I FUCKING KNEW IT!”

“Jon, what’s happening?!” Conner shouts as the glowing veins reach Jon’s fingers causing the documents to start burning. “Lois! LOIS!”

At the threat of his mom coming, the glow vanishes just as the duo hears frantic footsteps run up the wooden steps. “What is it, what’s wrong!?”

“It’s Jon, he just- his hands and body-”

“I’m fine, I got angry,” Jonathan innocently explains as he holds up the paper with scorch marks shaped like his hands. “It probably wasn’t a good idea to practice while I’m angry.”

“If you’re going to practice your powers, please don’t do it inside the wooden and flammable house,” The woman says exhaustedly, putting the fire extinguisher she brought with her at the foot of the entryway. “And what are you angry about?”

“Conner found the papers I thought I lost, but Damian already filled them out.”

“That explains the swearing,” Lois sighs and sees her son already handing three dollars for the swear jar. “Thank you. Please be careful about your powers. I know it’s exciting, but it’s also dangerous.”

“Yes, Mom,” Jonathan promises and looks at his brother. “Sorry for worrying you!”

“Remember to practice outside. I’m leaving the extinguisher here if you need it.” She tells them as she walks back downstairs.

Once she’s out of hearing range, Jonathan lowers his voice and glares at his brother. “You saw exactly what I said.”

Flabbergasted, Conner sputters out his confusion. “But I- I, bro what the fuck-!”

“Don’t." Jonathan threatens as he examines his damaged papers.

"Okay, but what was that?!" He said in a hushed panic. "Do Pa and Lois know? How come I'm just finding out about this now? Who else knows? How long was this a thing?"

"I don't exactly know what it is," He guiltily confesses, looking to the floor. "I discovered three years ago. The only other person who knows is Dami, and I wanted to keep it that way.”

There was a struggle happening inside of Conner that he didn’t want to have today. He could either tell his parents about the insane thing he just saw and lose Jonathan’s trust in him forever, or he could keep the secret as well as the currently fragile brotherly image Jon has of him. Like many teenage brothers before him, Conner makes the safest choice…

For his ego.

“Yeah, okay, I got your back,” He confidently asserts with a strained grin, rubbing his brother’s fluffy midnight-black hair. “What are brothers for?”

“Thanks, Conner! You’re the best brother ever!” Jonathan cheers, hugging his brother’s torso.

Conner nods absentmindedly, not looking at anything in particular as his mind is already reeling from the potential consequences of this action. “I know I am… j-just tell me if something happens with… that.”

“I will!” The child agrees, pushing himself away with a blindingly bright smile.

He glances back at the precisely filled-out documents with a melancholy expression. The scorch marks on the edges of the paper mar it with the outline of his fingers. He’s so angry at Damian and has more than half a mind to storm into Wayne Manor this instant and smack some sense into him. 

There are two reasons he doesn’t: He’s grounded from seeing Damian for a week, and Jonathan knows that Damian didn’t do it maliciously. It doesn’t excuse the act, but Jon understands it. Damian likes doing things for people because that’s how he expresses he cares, but it makes it difficult to do the same in return. Also, it makes Jon feel like a useless piece of shi-

“So do you want to go outside and train your powers before Pa gets home?” Conner asks, snapping Jon out of his stupor.

“Sure!” He strides to his brother with a pep in his step and only briefly catches the teenager taking the fire extinguisher with him on his way out. He has all the time in the world to be angry later. Or a week. Exactly a week before he can go to the manor and tell him exactly how angry he is with him. Damian doesn’t know it, but he better savor those seven days.

A chill runs down Damian’s spine and he searches for the reason as it was a hot day in July. He doesn’t know why, but his  intuition gives him the impression his lifespan got significantly cut. “Drake, are you thinking threatening thoughts toward me?”

“Always,” The teen responds as he releases the child safety lock. “Now everybody get out of my car. I’m going to find parking.”

“God bless you, you brave man.” Colin sarcastically remarks with a salute as he leaves.

“Thanks, Tim!” Maps beams as she rolls out of her wet seat. “Sorry for the mess!”

Timothy sighs as he glares at his little brother. “You better hope that doesn’t damage my car.”

“If it does, it wasn’t worth the money.” Damian scoffs as he steps out. “If you ditch us, I’ll make sure Father rescinds the contract he made to you.”

“Whatever, brat,” Tim replies in the same tone and drives off to try to find parking in the worst city.

The three middle schoolers watch the convertible drive away before heading inside their first destination: a photo booth. It was a building with multiple themed sets in which people paid to take pictures in. Damian never understood the purpose of this business as they don’t even take the pictures themselves, but influencers gravitate toward a useless business such as this. Only a mindless idiot would be excited to go to a place like this.

“Oh my gosh, I always wanted to go here with my friends!” Maps cheers, pulling Damian and Colin inside with a strength that could pull their arms out of their sockets.

“Ow! MAPS!” Colin yelps.

“Sorry!” She apologizes, letting them go to examine the ring lights they have on display for use. “It’s just that I never get to go to places like these! Mom only lets me go if Kyle watches over me and Kyle never wants to go with me. It sucks because I know he went with Olivia by himself but when I ask he doesn’t have time. Pomeline said she’d go with me but she’s with her grandma over the summer, and Colton is still grounded after he set off fireworks under the bleachers during the last pep rally.”

“Do either of you learn anything at this school?” Colin questions as he’s heard more weird stories about Gotham Academy than is acceptable. That’s impressive considering they live in Gotham.

“No.” Damian states firmly.

“Not really,” Maps echoes, picking the light she liked the most. “Okay, let’s pay for it and take some pictures!”

“We don’t need to pay,” Damian tells them as he walks up to a self-service kiosk. “Father’s PR Team gave me a code to get in for free. We have two hours to take normal pictures of ourselves having, ‘normal wholesome fun.’”

“Is that exactly what they told you?”

“Yes,” He begrudgingly bemoans. “Wayne Enterprises is affiliated with the Gotham Tourism Industry Association and wants to show people having fun in this God-forsaken city.”

The trio moves into the main hall with each themed set piece sectioned off with thin dividers that barely conceal them. There were plenty of other people here ranging from individuals with only their phones on a stick, groups posing themselves for fun, and a few with professional cameras and photographers.

Damian allows himself to be dragged by Maps to their first location because for all the skills Damian had acquired throughout his life being normal was not one of them. Out of all of his friends, Mia Mizoguchi is the one he considers the most normal. That’s not to say she’s average by any means, but she was legitimately a nobody in the kindest of ways. She doesn’t have a tragic backstory, she’s not related to a superhero or villain, and she doesn’t grapple with extraordinary powers. Maps is just a normal person living in an insane world.

They take a series of staged photos at each location in different costumes. Maps has unofficially appointed herself as the director for the photo shoot as Damian and Colin are haplessly maneuvered and posed in various positions by her. The rooms were themed nonsensically in Damian’s opinion as there was no cohesion to them. While some of them were themed after places in Gotham, others were more abstract in their execution such as a fairytale garden or a laundromat that was colored like a neon rainbow from the 1980s.

There were a few Batman-themed rooms that Damian thoroughly avoided after having to yank Maps away from broodily crouching on a plaster gargoyle while dressed as Robin. Even Colin was seemingly enjoying himself as he took to the monochromatic noir-style detective's office. They’re halfway through with all of the sets which makes Damian grumble a bit. They have more than enough pictures for today, but his friends are seemingly intent on going through every room.

“Oh my God, this place looks exactly like that one K-pop video! You know the one I’m talking about! The one with TWICE!” Maps gasps in awe as she twirls around the section that looks like a mock ballroom staircase except for the fact only a fraction of the size and most of the steps were a photo attached to the wall.

“I don’t,” Colin admits, walking up five stairs before reaching the image. “If you wanted to see a ballroom, you could’ve just gone to Damian’s house.”

“Most people can’t go to Dami’s house whenever they want so this is all we got!” The short girl adjusts the ring light a few meters away from the stairs and fixes her hair again before lying on her side on the steps. “Take a picture of me like one of your French girls.”

Damian takes a picture of her with the company phone. “This is stupid.”

“Come on guys, it’s not fun if you don’t get into it too! Live a little!” She holds a prop rose from the set between her teeth and pulls Colin into a dip, struggling to hold the taller preteen up. “Take a picture before my arms fall off!”

Colin dramatically drapes his arm over his forehead as though he’s been thoroughly swooned by this romantic tango dancer in front of him. “Oh my! Be still, my beating heart! What a gentlewoman!”

Unimpressed, Damian takes another picture. “Hilarious.”

Colin stands properly to the relief of Maps’ minimal strength and nudges Damian with his elbow. “She’s right, you know. You’re going to be a teen next month. Just have a bit of fun!”

“You say that like I’m significantly older than you, but it’s only by a few weeks,” Emerald eyes roll with condescension and he looks back to Maps to tell her to move on to the next stage when he catches her dancing atrociously. “What are you doing?”

“I’m trying to do the dance from the video!” She explains as she messes up most of the moves. She takes out her phone and looks up the song online. “Here, I’m better if I play the song.” After a 15-second ad plays (Maps refuses to pay for the premium ad-free service) she starts dancing again to the music, however, she purposefully fails her choreography while making intense eye contact with Damian. “See, I’m so much better at this.”

“Now you’re just trying to piss me off.”

“Is it working?”

Damian hands Colin the phone as his need to prove he’s better than everybody takes over. “Maps, you made me watch that thing countless times. It’s like this.”

What Is Love? By TWICE starts playing and instantly an industry-level smile is plastered on his face as he moves his body with the precision of a trained dancer. The cutesy music reverberates through the low-quality phone speaker as the two dance. While Maps is indeed much better with the music helping her, it’s obvious Damian is more talented.

Damian was naturally more attuned with his body thanks to his years of martial arts training. That and he might have practiced this dance in the privacy of his room, but that secret was between him and his pets.

Maps ecstatically smiles along, her expression coming off more naturally than the fake one her friend has. She was ecstatic to see her friend joining along and dancing with her for once. “Having fun?”

Damian doesn’t answer as he’s focused on his movements, but his fake smile slowly looks more genuine as they continue. It’s not his normally cocky smirk as half of the dancing is about the facial expression which he doesn’t want to mess up. Thankfully his friends can tell the difference.

Once the song is finished, Maps is heavily panting while Damian goes back to take the phone. His confident, “I told you so,” expression which quickly drops as he notices something troubling. Already knowing what was wrong, Colin held his hands up defensively. “Hey, those were some of the best pictures we took today. Don’t get mad at me for seizing an opportunity.”

“I’d be mad if you didn’t take a photo, but what’s this?” The billionaire’s son shows him the screen and minimizes the current app for one that is working in the background. Damian knows he didn’t open it before so his accusatory glare is more than warranted.

“You didn’t have any good filters so I switched apps to see what else I could do,” Colin admits with a confused voice. “What’s wrong with that?”

“COLIN WE’RE LIVE STREAMING!” Damian shouts with a mortified expression before realizing, “WE STILL ARE!”

He hurriedly ends the stream and turns off the phone in a panic. “What if we get sued for copyright?!”

“Uh… You won’t; that’s not how that law works.” Maps say as she gathers their stuff. “And I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s not like we were doing anything bad.”

“I don’t have authorization for this! These technically aren’t my accounts, they’re the company's. If I'm doing something they don’t approve of then I could get in trouble!”

“Oh… Oooooooh!” She breathes as she grasps the situation. “Did you delete it?”

“... Fuck.” He turns his phone back on to delete the video when a familiar name pops up on the screen. “Everyone shut up.”

“None of us were talking,” Colin states and is immediately shushed.

“Hello Mrs. Zellerbach,” Damian greets with a cool, even tone, putting Regina Zellerbach on speaker. “How are you today?”

“Hello Damian,” The PR Manager replies politely. “I’m doing well, thank you for asking. I’m sorry for calling out of the blue, but I got an alert on our company phone that’s connected to yours that you started a live stream.”

“That was an accident, I’m already making moves to remove it-”

“Don’t.” She orders with a firmness that all older women seem to possess. “It’s short and cute. I’m also looking through the photos and I see someone’s enthusiastic.”

Maps flinch at that. “It was really fun…”

“I’m sure you kids were. I’m not trying to scold you. Mr. Wayne wouldn’t keep me around if I go threatening children.” She laughs to herself. “I don’t want you making a habit of doing things without permission but don’t worry about this one. This was just a quick reminder, so I hope I didn’t interrupt anything important. Have a wonderful day, Damian.”

With that, she hangs up. Damian looks at Colin, who has taken several precautionary steps back, with a glower that can freeze fire. "New rule, Colin isn't allowed to hold the phone."

Later that day, Damian checks his unplanned post’s comments out of curiosity. He refuses to entertain the idea it could be for any other reason.

@MomoStan909023 3hr ago
OMG this is so amazing! He dances so well! Does he take lessons? Do a tutorial!
🗯0 ↻ 12 ♡23

@1_Of_3Idiots 3hr ago
fake
🗯0  ↻ 16 ♡43

@FlashWife8 3hr ago
He looks adorable when he smiles! 😊Idk why’s getting so much hate. WTF is wrong with you people? I bet if this was Dick Grayson you wouldn’t be talking shit about him like this.
🗯3  ↻ 198 ♡480

@HubCityBorn2 3hr ago
↳ You can’t compare him to Dick. 1: Dick has a great ass and this is a child. 2: Dick was a poor kid whose parents died. 3: This is a privileged kid who probably lived like a king his entire life just making crappy posts. 4: He’s probably just a bastard from Bruce Wayne’s mail-order whore he had overseas. I don’t fucking care, I’ll hate on him all I want. Kid should just kill himself.
🗯1  ↻ 9 ♡6

@Signal4Mayor 3hr ago
↳ You have issues
🗯4  ↻ 678 ♡1.6k

@H+I69 3hr ago
Don’t listen to the haters sweetie! You’re doing great! 🎁
🗯0  ↻ 78 ♡236

@Magnolias2Tulips 3hr ago

YAS! POP OFF KING! 💅
🗯0  ↻ 2 ♡4

@DanceTillDeath234 3hr ago

How the fuck is a 10yr old a better dancer than most adults?! I’m so jealous
🗯0  ↻ 112 ♡456

@Memer23590 3hr ago

These people are so boring. How do these people get followers when there are so many better people who deserve them
🗯0  ↻ 0 ♡4

@3003135 3hr ago

When did Damian Wayne post shit? I thought his dad locked him up and only brought him out for charity events as his token brown kid. Does he even have a real life or do they take him out when Wayne needs to look good?
🗯10  ↻ 568 ♡2.3k

This is stupid.

Damian attempts to call Jonathan but is informed by the boy's mother that he's been grounded for a week. For a kid who's afraid of breaking the rules, he sure does get in trouble a lot. It's not the first time something like this happened, but it's far from common that he couldn't see Jon because of it.

Unfortunately, Damian can't check on Jonathan remotely since the last secret remote surveillance system was found by Jonathan’s father escalating the man’s paranoia regarding his son's safety. He already somewhat had it, but Damian’s existence didn't help. It was so long ago… four months. That reminds Damian that he should probably be working on a way to maintain communication with Jon without the use of phones. For now, he just has to wait a week to call Jonathan. That’s no big deal. He’s fine.

He’s fine.

“Maps is on camera duty,” Damian says the instant Colin enters the car later in the week.

“I mess up one time and you never let it go,” Colin sighs as he puts his seatbelt on. “Thanks for not parking in front of my apartment again, Tim.”

“You’re welcome, and sorry if I caused you any trouble the other day,” The teen apologizes.

“It’s fine. Most of them were just giving me a hard time; they don’t mean anything by it.”

“Hi Colin, guess where we’re going today?” Maps excitedly asks, vibrating in her seat with anticipation.

“I don’t know, I just go into any car that picks me up without any context. It’s probably really easy to kidnap me.”

“Don’t joke like that in Gotham, it might come true,” Damian warns.

“We’re going to Future Land!” Maps answers with eagerness.

“That sounds like a theme park, and I know for a fact Gotham stopped having those a long time ago.”

“Maybe it’s already a front for a new evil supervillain!”

Tim cocks a brow at the overly enthusiastic tone the girl announced and looks to his brother for a reaction. “Why are all your friends weird?”

“Don’t be a hypocrite,” Damian criticizes without so much as a twitch of the lips. “Anyways, Mrs. Zellerbach told me we have to take a picture of us in front of the amusement park. Someone also needs to take a picture of me with the phone so they can use it in an ad.”

“And by someone, you mean Maps because I’m not allowed to hold the camera,” Colin states, pointing at the girl who’s already making grabbing motions toward the phone.

The group arrives at the theme park to find that it is a rather small bundle of attractions on a pier that just barely fits the definition of an amusement park. Damian sneers at his brother who is trying to mask his concern with a maturity he doesn’t possess. “What is your company trying to do to me?”

“Oh, so it’s my company when things don’t live up to your standards,” Tim says, shoving his brother’s arm.

“It is when my standard is being alive,” Damian replies, shoving back. 

They walk past the gates and enter the park with colorful admission wristbands adorning their wrist. They are immediately surrounded by vaguely futuristic decorations, or at least what the 1950s thought the future would look like. Smooth and cartoonish UFOs and rocketships on slick steel tracks transport riders through rather impractical courses while the carnival games were all space-themed. The smell of stale popcorn, seawater, sewage, and nickel saturates the air in an unpleasant manner that would make a lesser person gag.

“Ack! Urgh, whose sick idea was it to put a theme park on Gotham’s harbor? It smells like ass!” Colin gags, dry heaving over the ledge of the pier. “Hey, was the water always this grey?”

“Yes, it’s Gotham.” Maps replies, patting him on the back. “There, there. Let it all out.”

“Don’t fall,” Damian orders as he walks past his friends to examine a map of the park. “We can skip the thrill rides for now. How about we start with the carnival games?”

“Aren’t all of those unwinnable scams?” Maps questions.

Wordlessly, Tim and Damian share a look of understanding before looking back at the girl. She and Colin look at them with confusion before a dreadful expression overtakes him. “Oh fuck no, we are not-”

Not five minutes later, the Wayne siblings were viciously competing in every game they came across. Whether it was the rope ladder, shooting games, ring toss, milk bottle throw, the test of strength, rubber duck fishing, or dip bowling the pair dominated them all. The hapless employees were stupefied by the impossible feats achieved by the two. They were used to two or three people winning small prizes at each booth, however, the brothers dominated every single high-level prize. 

Maps was having the time of her life taking pictures of all their victories and even attempting to play a few games. She didn’t win any of them, Damian and Tim gave her most of the prizes since they didn’t need them. Maps then handed them to Colin since he was the only one not doing anything.

Eventually, Colin was overwhelmed by the cheap stuffed animals and begged the trio to do anything else before he suffocated under the weight. Reluctantly, the brothers relented even though they were currently in a tie. There was an audible sigh of relief from all of the workers as they left the area. Tim went to put their winnings in his car while the group waited in front of the rides.

“That was so cool! I’ve never seen anyone win those before!” Maps cheers as she reviews all of the pictures they took.

Damian arrogantly holds his head high replying, “The problem with those games is that it’s an entirely different game disguised as something straightforward. It’s simple once you understand the mechanics.”

“Is there a reason you’re keeping the chicken with you?” Colin asks, pointing to the round beady-eyed chicken stuffed animal under Damian’s arm.

“I don’t want something happening to it. It’s safer with me.”

“So are chickens your favorite?”

“All animals are precious.”

“Then why hold onto only the chicken?”

“Stop asking questions.”

After Tim comes back the group rides exactly one ride before realizing that it was one of the most terrifying experiences of their life. That’s saying a lot since two of them were the sons of Batman, one of them created a club to explore the most terrifying places in Gotham, and the last one was used as a mad science experiment. The rollercoaster was wobbly and Damian swears he’s experienced plane crashes smoother than this ride.

Colin immediately hurls into the nearest trashcan as soon as he gets off the ride while Tim slumps down on a bench. Damian wants to leave immediately as it’s getting crowded, humid, and hotter as the afternoon rolls by. Unfortunately, he still needs to take one more picture before he leaves, so he and Maps head to the Ferris wheel to take a shot of him using his phone with the Gotham skyline as his backdrop.

“Is it going to stop now,” Maps asks for the fifth time as they pass the top of the wheel.

“No, everyone will have a turn eventually; be patient.” Damian huffs, crossing his arms and leaning against the hard metal seat.

The two middle schoolers sit in silence as they slowly make their rotations on the ride with Maps occasionally getting a few pictures with her phone. After the third round, she takes a picture of Colin and Tim waiting by the entrance of the ride. “How come you don’t make Tim take your pictures? I think he said something about being into photography.”

“Because I hate him.” Damian states.

“No, you don’t,” Maps confidently counters. “You wouldn’t have been playing carnival games with Tim if you hated him.”

“And when did you become the expert of me?”

“I think everyone who has to speak to you has to become fluent in Damian. You’re kinda weird but in a cool way. If I didn’t try learning I’d think you were a mean jerk. Well… You are, but you’re also not. Does that make sense?”

“No.”

“Makes sense. I’ve only known you for half a school year. I bet Colin or Jon know you better since they’ve known you longer.”

Emerald eyes glare at the girl who cheekily sticks her tongue out at him. “I thought I told you to keep his name out of your mouth.”

“I think the only person who gets to say that is Jon, and you won’t let me meet him. Hell, I didn’t even know he existed until Colin accidentally mentioned him. I was getting worried that Colin was your only friend- not that Colin isn’t fun! He’s cool too!”

“I have other friends besides Colin and Jon.”

“Oh yeah. There was that girl you once introduced me to. What was her name? May?”

“Maya.”

“Yeah her. Anyways, back to Jon--mrph!”

Damian interrupts her by shoving the plush chicken plushie in her face. “Look, we’re finally slowing down.” He grabs his phone and holds it near his mouth like he’s taking a call. “Take a picture.”

Maps quickly takes a photograph with her phone and sends it to Damian, and then enjoys the landscape from above. “Wow… It’s almost like Gotham isn’t a hellscape.”

“It looks better at night.”

“Of course you’d say that-- Woah!” Maps is once again interrupted, but it wasn’t Damian’s fault.

The seat lurches forward, swaying dangerously deep, as they stop at the very top of the wheel. Damian is about to blame the poor construction of the park when he looks below to see gaseous green smoke wash over the ground below. “Well Mizoguchi, it seems like your wish has come true.”

“Please don’t call me by my last name again; it took me months to get on nickname level!” She whines before getting her priorities in place. Maps uses her sticker-covered phone to record everything that’s happening. “Who do you think it is?”

“Please tell me that’s not live.”

“It’s not.”

“Then it’s either Scarecrow, Poison Ivy, or the Joker.”

And because one of Damian’s talents happens to be impeccable timing, ominous circus music followed by a laugh everyone in Gotham knows by heart rings through the park’s speakers. “HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Welcome, welcome one and all to the land of the future!” The evil clown announces jovially. “However, it looks like most of you won’t have a future.”

As soon as he says that all of the rides in the park begin to go haywire either moving at rapid speeds or having sections of it collapse. The pair hold onto the thin metal bar keeping them from flying off for dear life as they begin to hit insane speeds. Damian analyzes the situation and immediately takes out the standard black gas mask every experienced Gothamite has on them for occasions just like this.

While Maps is doing the same thing, with hers being bright yellow with groovy flowers on it, Damian takes out the knife he keeps strapped to his shin and tries to pry the bar protecting them out of its hinges. “Hold onto something else!”

The 12-year-old instantly clings to Damian’s side.

“Not me!”

She holds onto the seat instead, shutting her eyes in case she falls to her death. When she peeks at Damian with one eye she sees him crawling with his stomach flat on the arm of the metal rail attaching them to the center of the wheel. He sticks the pole between gaps in the frame as leverage so no matter what angle he’s spinning he won’t get tossed off.

“Damian! That bar’s too small to stop this thing!” Maps shouts as she desperately tries to find a more suitable surface to keep her from falling.

“I know that!” The boy shouts back as he approaches the center. What does she think he’s going to do with it; stick it in a gear and stop the 100-meter structure?  Once he reaches the center, he shimmies to the edge as he counts the rhythm of the bars passing by and then leaps through the outer wheel where he slides down grounding supports safely. Thankfully it was slightly easier to navigate as the momentum of the ride acted like a fan keeping the gas away from the riders.

There was no one manning the controls and upon further inspection, he found the hapless underpaid teenager unconscious with a painfully unnatural smile adorning their complexion. Damian is about to hit the brakes on the machine when the ground starts shaking to the beat of heavy footsteps. 

Through the fog, an inhumanly large figure runs towards him with rugged breaths and bloody knuckles. Ugly scars and building veins litter the muscles as they shambles as though its body cannot be controlled. Pale blue eyes hidden by messy orange hair stare at him from behind the cover of a brown gas mask hiding a frighteningly marred complexion.

"You'd think people would learn by now to always bring your mask in public." A deep masculine voice casually comments. "Do you think that's fucked up this is normal in Gotham?"

"Hi Colin, welcome to the urban dystopia. Also, you'll want to go up there and grab Maps before I abruptly shut the ride down; I took the safety bar."

"WHY?!" The giant mutated 12-year-old groans, already sprinting to his friend.

“You took too long,” Damian pauses for exactly one second before hitting the brakes on the machine.

Thankfully Colin jumps onto the ride seat before Maps can be thrown from the ride. Damian is about to go check on everyone when he’s suddenly grabbed from behind. He chastises himself for not sensing them even through the thick fog, but when he looks up at his captor he freezes. He doesn’t know whether to feel thankful or regretful that he doesn’t have his uniform on him. If he did, their operation would’ve immediately ceased to be as his eyes meet the scarlet grin of the Joker.

“Lookie what we have here! It’s little Brucie’s boy! What are you, charity case number 7? Oh, I simply can’t keep up these days!” He converses lightly, ruffling his hair. “No matter, you’re coming with me.”

“The fuck I am!” Damian barks as he gains some leverage to flip the man over his shoulder. The second the man’s back is on the ground he starts to beat him in the face with the first object he can reach, his phone. “Don’t touch me!”

“Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Why are you so violent?!” The evildoer shouts as he slaps the phone out of his hand.

“Because you’re a maniac who needs to die!” The child replies, grabbing the stuffed chicken he still had on him to try suffocating the man.

“Now now, hold still there, tiger,” Joker instructs jovially and forcefully as the pink flower in his coat pocket squirts a chemical over his eyes and melts the chicken. Thankfully the mask protects him from the acid, but as Damian reflexively recoils the villain drags him away from the Ferris wheel. “I’m not looking to kill anyone today. Just a casual crime of public endangerment. You know, to keep Gotham on its toes.”

The boy would call the clown crazy, but he’d probably take it as a compliment.

“You know, I don’t think we’ve ever had a chance to chat!” The villain remarks as they stroll through thick poison gas, passed-out bodies, and the sound of screams from trapped riders. “You know I can’t let Gotham have nice things, so I set up this little shindig just to mess with them! So, how’s the family?”

It’s an open secret in their family that the Joker knows who they are, however, the villain is oddly professional about it. He hated mixing business with pleasure so he seldom used this information for any of his schemes no matter how chaotic. The Joker never shared this information which could ruin them. Even if he did aim for the Wayne family, it would be because they were rich, not because they were associated with Batman. It’s almost like he treated them like a separate entity.

So seeing him be so cavalier about the divide was off-putting, to say the least. “What the fuck?”

“You swear more than the others. Shame really. No catchy quips I presume?”

“What do you want with me, Joker?” Damian demands, reaching for the other knife he keeps on his person to the man’s throat.

“What do I want? It’s obvious,” He replies uncharacteristically patient yet still condescending. “I’m just having a nice day being a menace and talking with the youngest little birdy. I think you’re the youngest, but I could be wrong. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“You’re delusional!” Damian shouts.

“I’m hilarious,” The Joker counters flippantly. “Come on, buddy. Tell Uncle J what’s on your mind! What brings you here? I thought you were supposed to be the serious one.”

The clown plops on a bench with his legs sprawled out straight in front of him. He taps his purple suit pantleg as though wanting Damian to sit on his lap which the preteen definitely doesn’t want to do. Instead, he tries to plunge the knife into the Joker’s heart.

“Uh uh uh, Daddy has a no-killing rule,” The villain scolds, wagging a finger at him as the knife bounces off a metal chest plate under his shirt.

“He’ll forgive me.” Damian hisses. “And ew, don’t call him that.”

“You’re right, I’m not here to talk about that, I’m here to talk about you!” The man restates enthusiastically. “Places like this aren’t your forte. I didn’t know you’d be here today, but luck and I have a special relationship”

It’s creepy how much this mass murderer knows about him. Damian doesn’t want to entertain the madman so he tries to stab him in the head. The Joker dodges, making the knife stick to the wooden bench, and while the man is distracted he goes to punch him in the face. The entire time, the rouge doesn’t falter in his conversation.

“You see, birdie. I normally don’t care about what you do since you’re not a real hero,” That earns the clown a kick to the rib. A gloved hand grips his ankle, and as Damian attempts to break his wrist an electric current travels through his body.

“AAAAAARRRRRRGGGGHHHHHH!” He screams as his pain courses through his body.

Joker picks him up and sits him on the bench next to him in a sick imitation of people who are close to each other. “There we go!” He pats Damian on his head. “Now let’s try this again. How ya doin’ kiddo? What’s all this influencer Hullabaloo about? Not literally. I got a pretty little number at home who’s good at that social engineering thing kids are into these days. I never would’ve picked you for that. Now, can see the spoilsport over there--” He gestures to the roller coaster with a broken rail about to fling the entire cart into the ocean. If Damian was able to look closely he would see Robin trying to stop it. “Doing that sort of thing, but you? Oh come on, that’s a real joke. I would know.”

Damian slurs something that could be an insult or a question, but it comes out as nonsense. “What was that? You want to know why I care? It’s simple! Batsy and I have known each other longer than you’ve existed! We’re practically family! I’m like your crazy uncle who’s not invited to the reunion for killing your brother and crippling the girl! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!” He laughs, slapping his knee. “And as your good ol’ Uncle J, I’ve taken it upon myself to check in with my kids! Sure, that usually involves breaking a few of their bones, but that’s because I care.”

He tilts Damian’s mask up so he’s facing him but the boy’s eyes are unfocused. “Hey, look at grown-ups when they’re talking to you. Kids these days have no manners! What was I saying? Oh yeah, this… thing. So what was it that made you half-heartedly attempt something like this? Trying to fit in with the crowd? Maybe you’re pulling a social experiment! I’m not judging. We’ve all been there but, I notice by the dead look in your eyes in most of your pictures that you’re not enjoying it. Or maybe you’re always like that! Not like you were ever the fun one.” He bellows out another laugh.

“Yur frugern crazy…” Damian manages to get out.

“I am! Thank you!” The man thanks him and checks his comically large watch with his face on it.  “I’ve gotta split before the bomb I plant under the pier blows, but I always love our chats! I’ll be waiting for you if you ever make it to the big leagues, kid. For now, you’re not even worth ten minutes. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

The Joker gets up and strides away, his back disappearing into the gas as his maniacal laugh reverberates through the harbor. Damian’s body is left limp on the seat helpless, and seething in self-loathing. How hard was it to fight one clown? Then again, there has to be a reason no one has been able to kill him yet.

God, he hates that man.

The bomb under the pier is disabled and the day is saved by Robin and Signal who happen to be on patrol when the incident occurred. The incident triggered the end of their outing since everyone was forced to go home after being checked for injuries and poisoning by the paramedics. It didn’t mean Damian felt better. Partially due to being electrocuted and the embarrassment that comes from interacting with his father’s arch-nemesis.

To add insult to injury, the chicken plushie Damian won for Jonathan was destroyed in the process. He thought this couldn’t get any worse especially now that it was ending, but he was wrong. He was so very wrong.

When Damian gets out of the shower the next night, he gets a cryptic message from Maps that is essentially a string of apologies and a link. The second he taps on it the color drains from his face. A video from an unknown account posted a video with a very unflattering title.

[WILD CHILD DAMIAN WAYNE BEATS JOKER IN THE FACE WITH A PHONE]

@GothamiteFoodie5 2hr ago
holy shit
🗯0  ↻ 0 ♡480

@FloofySkrungles 2hr ago
Man, Wayne thinks of everything. My Lex phone cracks when I drop it on carpet but this phone doesn’t dent when you use it as a weapon.🤣
🗯22  ↻678 ♡3k

@3BatGirlBae3 2hr ago
↳ Fuck the drop test! I want phones to be tested by the damage it can do to people’s faces.
🗯0  ↻345 ♡2k

@Justice4Arkham 2hr ago
↳ EXACTLY!
🗯0  ↻ 122 ♡376

@Bats&Birds 2hr ago
↳ Fellas. Do we NOT deserve a multipurpose phone when we live in Gotham? I can’t tell you the number of times I dropped my phone when running from a supervillain and insurance won’t cover it.
🗯0  ↻2 ♡234

@PlsAdoptM3 2hr ago
i dont usually follow people on this hellsite but if Damian Wayne has an account i need link 
🗯6  ↻234 ♡987

@CoastalHoe99 2hr ago
↳ I got chu boo! [link]
🗯0  ↻4 ♡4

@XKimimixiItchiX 2hr ago
↳ We Support Violence Against Clowns 🤡🔫
🗯0 ↻0 ♡1

@LexLeigonKing66 2hr ago
Why are you celebrating a POC being unstable? They’re giving people of color a bad name after all they do to try to fix their reputation. He just set your movement back by a decade.
🗯18  ↻25 ♡480

@ImAHero 2hr ago
↳WTF why you gotta make everything about race? Can’t we be happy about a child beating up a literal murderer?
🗯2  ↻67 ♡80

@CH33 2hr ago
↳This boy has done more in 10 seconds than you will ever do in your life get tf off the internet and touch some grass. Your complaining about stupid shit
🗯3  ↻9 ♡49

@SpoilerIsR3AL 2hr ago
↳ The fuck do you mean by “your movement?”
🗯  ↻ 18 ♡43

@8KawaiiKupid8 2hr ago
Everyone in the Wayne family is a solid 10 in personality. Gods I’m weak to a cute kid filled with rage
🗯0  ↻5 ♡58

“SON OF A BITCH!” He screams as he immediately calls Maps who answers instantly.

“I DIDN’T MEAN TO DO IT!” She hollers.

“THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN MEAN! WHAT DID YOU DO!?”

“The lady you work for asked for any pictures and videos we took today, and I accidentally sent the one I recorded for myself!”

“WHAT!? DOES NO ONE KNOW HOW TO USE A FUCKING PHONE!?”

“I didn’t post it! If it makes you feel better there wasn’t anything incriminating on there that could reveal your family! I was spinning too fast to get any good angles! I didn’t even know I caught you attacking the Joker with your phone!” Maps attempt to console and take any blame off of her.

And in a way, it does because Damian didn’t post the video. Maps didn’t post it. That means… “Maps, I have to go.” He hangs up without hearing her response as he calls Regina Zellerbach. He doesn’t let the woman speak before demanding answers, “Why did you post the video!?”

He hears the woman yawn and the ruffle of sheets as she presumably sits up in bed. “Hello, Damian.”

“Don’t ‘Hello Damian’ me! What is this!?”

“What is it? It’s the greatest advertisement for our new phone that we could’ve asked for.”

“I look like a lunatic!”

“Really? That’s not what the comments say.”

“It doesn’t matter what the comments say! I didn’t approve of this!”

“That became irrelevant the moment you signed the contract.” The PR head reminds him. “We have the right to create posts on your account or with your likeness even if it’s not directly associated with your main accounts. Sometimes we need an outside source to boost yours.”

“But it’s still you!” Damian furiously points out.

“The people don’t know that.”

“What are you trying to do to me?”

“What am I trying to do to you?” Mrs. Zellerbach echoes in an amused tone. “I’m doing exactly what you wanted. I’m making you an influencer. You’re influencing.”

Damian doesn’t hear whatever else she has to say as he abruptly ends the call and meticulously scrolls through his feed on all of his accounts. As clear as day, there were dozens of posts Damian never created. Many of them showed Damian in places he’s never been to or advertising products he doesn’t own. There were even doctored images that were supposed to have his friends in them that now only hold him.

Every post was written by a voice that wasn’t his. Damian knew this was going to happen, he was even okay with throwing away his individuality and faking a persona for this. He at least thought he would have a say in what that would look like. Damian should’ve been paying more attention. He should’ve done this alone. He can’t control this. He can’t control anything. This is why he hates social media.

This was a mistake.

He’s about to toss the device at the wall in a fit of rage when something catches his eye. It was the short clip of him competing with Drake in a game of whack-a-mole. It only garnered a few views and even fewer likes, but the thumbnail enraptured his attention. He plays it out of curiosity if nothing else.

The brothers were relentlessly whacking the animals that popped up with the utmost concentration. The camera pans to Colin who was slowly creeping behind Tim with an unused foam mallet from one of the adjacent machines. He’s about to swing it when the teenager bops the redhead in the face with his own.

“Ah FUCK! My nose!”

“You need to work a lot harder if you want to get the jump on me.” Timothy chuckles when suddenly the sound of a ringing bell alerts the group that a winner has been decided. “Hey! No fair, you had your friend distract me!”

Childishly, Damian sticks his tongue out at his brother and turns his nose up at him with a smug smirk. “I didn’t have him do anything. You just have poor concentration.”

Royal blue eyes of the older Wayne sibling blankly stare at the younger before he lifts his mallet and whacks his brother atop his head. “Oops. Sorry, I didn’t mean to hit you over the head, but you’re so short.” He apologies without an ounce of remorse.

“I’m going to kill you!” Damian hisses and begins wailing on Tim with his mallet. “Colin, get him!”

“This is unfair!” Tim stutters as both boys relentlessly attack him with their squishy weapons. “It’s two against one! How is this fair!?”

The camera shakes as Maps grabs another mallet from the carnival game and rushes in to join her friends, giving the viewer a POV shot of the Wayne heir being bombarded by middle schoolers. “It’s not supposed to be fair! This is war!”

“That doesn’t even make sense!”

“H-hey! I thought you were cool with me!”

“Bros before hoes!”

“What did you just call me?!” Tim chortles as he starts hitting Maps with his mallet in retaliation.

“You’re the enemy, Drake!” Damian reminds his brother as he knocks him on the back of the knees.

The teenager falls over laughing allowing the trio to gain the higher ground over their taller opponent. “Hahaha! Ow! Ow! OW! Alright! Alright! I give! Uncle! Uncle! Hahahaha!”

Right before the clip ends the camera faces Damian one last time to reveal a genuine smile. Not the picture-perfect smile manicured for others, but the one that’s special to Damian. The somewhat feral smirk that is confident, arrogant, and a tad conceited. The grin was not appealing and somewhat terrifying, but it was real. It was as real as the normal smiles everyone else in the video had on their faces.

Damian hates social media. Nevertheless, he starts to understand why people like it. Seeing his friends and himself like this was… it was nice. He wants to share it with the people he cares about who weren’t there so they can feel as happy as he does when looking back on the memory he didn’t care about at the moment. Damian just wishes the rest of the world didn’t have to see it.

Jonathan struggled under the blazing summer sun as he pushed the mower across the dense lawn of his elderly neighbor, Ms. Ruth. The elderly lady wasn’t very mobile at her age to keep up with such a large rural property. Seizing the opportunity, Jonathan offered to take care of it for some cash. He expected to only do the front yard, but somehow he ended up caring for the entire 3-acre property.

All of this work for only $7.25 an hour. She wouldn’t pay more since that was their minimum wage and he was just a child. That doesn’t feel right. Aren’t people supposed to live off of the minimum wage? Jon might be bad at math, but that doesn’t sound livable for adults. He’s been doing this for several days and he barely has enough to cover a quarter of their expenses on the receipt Damian gave him.

Jon wishes he could confidently use his powers to make the chore go by faster. Then again, unlike his father’s crops, he wouldn’t feel as guilty if Ms. Ruth’s lawn went up in flames.

“You’re doing great, Jonno!” Conner rouses from their porch across the dirt road, sipping on a refreshing cup of lemonade. “You’re halfway there!”

“Conner, you’re not helping!” Jonathan shouts as the mower gets caught on a tall section of grass.

“What do you mean? I’m moral support!” The teenager signifies holding his glass to cheer his brother on. “Besides, you won’t take my money, so this is all I can do.”

“One: it’s not your money, it’s your dad’s!” Jon grunts between pushing the mower. “And two: I can’t take your money! If I take your money then I’m indebted to you and I don’t need to owe more people!”

“When did you get so stubborn?”

“When did you get so annoying?”

“Annoying? Hey, I’m cool, not annoying!”

“You can be both!”

“Boys!” Clark calls as he slides out from under a red pickup truck in the driveway. “If you want to chat, don’t do it from across the street! The whole neighborhood can hear you two from here. Both of ya can walk to the other if you have to say something.”

“Sorry, Pa.”

“Yes, Dad.”

The man stands up and wipes his greasy hands on denim overalls as he walks to the border of his property. “Jon, that’s enough for the day! You can finish the rest tomorrow!”

“Okay, Dad!” The child sighs in relief as he turns off the mower so he can return it to Ms. Ruth’s shed. 

His father inspects his work while Jon is gone and gives the boy a thumbs up as he returns home. “Great job, buddy! Nice even lines and no missed spot; just like I taught ya. Although, I think the blades on Ms. Ruth’s lawnmower need replacing. I’ll see if I can do something about that before you go back to work.”

“Thanks, Dad,” Jon says as he heads inside followed by his brother. “Don’t you have anything better to do than watch me cut grass all day?”

“Whaaaaaa? No, of course, I don’t. Spending time with you is the best way I can spend my time-”

“Your friends were busy, weren’t they?” Jonathan guesses.

“Yep.” Conner instantly folds with a sigh. “Man, it’s summer! There’s no school, so why does everyone have to be busy?”

“I dunno. What are they doing?” Jon asks as the pair wash up for dinner. The older Kent sibling shrugs then stretches his arms behind his back and twists his spine, causing a disturbing amount of pops and cracks. Jonathan cringes at the sound. “Why do you and Kara do that all the time?”

“Being a superhero is a lot of stress on the body. Cracking your back does wonders to release tension and feels great. Want to try it?” Conner offers as he gets behind Jon and puts one hand on his shoulder and the other on his elbow.

“Uhh… Sure.” Jonathan hesitantly agrees, shaking his wet hands off in the sink. “Is this going to hurt?”

“Of course not,” The teenager soothes. “Now how do I do this on someone else?”

“Wait, what--”

“Here we go!” Conner twists his brother’s body with a sickening crack that did not sound as relieving as it does when Conner did it to himself.

“Aaaarrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh!” Jonathan cries as he drops to the tile floor in pain.

“Oh shit, oh shit!” The older boy drops to his knees as he examines the younger boy with his X-ray vision to see if he broke anything.

Hurried footsteps rush up the steps as Clark checks on his children with a fire extinguisher in hand. “What’s wrong, who’s on fire!?”

“No one’s on fire, I broke Jon’s back!” Conner panics. “I’m the worst brother ever! He already stopped thinking I was cool and now he’ll think I’m a fuck up!”

“Argh! Can you stop making my pain about you and help me!?” The boy on the floor urges while holding his sides. 

“Right! You’re still broken!”

“Settle down, nothing’s broken,” Their father comforts, handing Conner the fire extinguisher. He examines his youngest child with his x-ray vision then shakes his head, making his eldest son hysterical.

“Holy shit, he’s not going to make it!”

“What!? Am I going to die!? I can’t die!”

“HE’S GOING TO DIE!”

“I’M GOING TO DIE!”

It takes a while for Clark to calm his sons down and inform them that no one is dying or severely injured. A bit bruised is the more accurate term for it, but it should only last a day at most. He scolds the two for trying something dangerous before he cooks dinner before his wife gets home from work.

Jonathan is lying on his stomach while Conner creates a small slab of ice to place on a towel atop Jon’s back. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to almost give you a lifelong back injury.”

“It’s okay, I forgive you.” The half-Kryptonian speaks through the pillow. “As long as you never do it again.”

“Yep, got it.” Conner plops next to Jon’s feet and gets on his phone to waste some time before dinner. 

He scrolls through his feed for a couple of minutes, occasionally showing Jon some funny videos or posts about superheroes, when his eye catches something interesting. Suddenly an unusual stiffness from the teenager forewarns something wrong. As Jon cranes his neck to look at his brother he sees Conner acting like he wasn’t just acting strange. It was like he was hiding something.

“What is it?” When Jon’s brother hums comically, Jonathan clarifies. “You paused. What were you looking at just now?”

There is a reluctant glint in the teen’s eyes before he answers with the utmost fake confidence. “Porn. I am looking at hardcore porn.”

“We both know I don’t know what that is and that you’re lying.” The 11-year-old points out. “So either you tell me the truth, or you have to stick to your guns and explain what porn is.”

Whatever porn is, it’s apparently far worse than what Conner was actually looking at. “Alright, but you have to promise not to be mad.”

“I can’t promise to control how I feel. That doesn’t make sense.” 

“Alright, then promise not to do that glowing thing you did the last time you got mad, or at least try.”

That was something manageable. “I promise to try my best to not do the glowing thing.”

Cautiously, Conner flips the phone over for Jon to see. There’s no reaction. That’s a lie, the reaction is Jonathan’s lack of reaction. It is as if he went into a state of complete and utter zen the second the screen was revealed. Without permission, Jonathan takes the phone and clicks on the account. Conner watches helplessly as half of him wants to take back the phone while the other half wants to see what he does next. 

Slowly, Jonathan gets up from the bed, leaving Conner’s phone behind, and walks over to the calendar next to his desk. He looks at the clock on his nightstand and waits for a minute to pass before crossing out today’s date. Then he circles the last seven days in green before putting the pen down.

“Jonno?” Conner hesitantly calls, trying to figure out his brother’s behavior.

“Dad, I’m going to Damian’s for a bit!”

“Has it been a week like your mom said?” The man inquires from the kitchen over the sound of banging pots and pans.

“Yes!”

“Only for a little bit; you can’t go skipping dinner with the family!”

“I won’t!” Jon reassures as he heads for his parent’s room where they keep the teleporter.

“Jon, Jon, what are you going to do?” Conner presses as he follows.

“I’m going to talk with Damian,” Jonathan informs his brother calmly. He inputs the coordinates he memorized by heart into the tele-pad in the closet before looking his brother in the eye as his rage finally cracks through the facade. “If I come back late, I killed him.”

“Woah, wait, what-”

“Bye!”

Damian was currently in his room with Maps and Colin as they worked on their first planned livestream. Damian needed to do something that he had some semblance of control over, so when this particular suggestion was brought up he jumped on it. A Question and Answer event should be easy as the youngest Wayne is particularly good at thinking on his feet and there was no way something could go wrong.

He and his servants (friends) went over all the topics they could answer, how to answer them, information to omit, and the types of questions they were willing to read live. Everyone in the house knows not to bother him so there won’t be any interruptions. His room has been censored of any information that could be detrimental, and Titus is in the background to distract the audience if something goes wrong. Everything should be perfect. He’s going to be fine.

Maps give him a thumbs-up from behind the camera while Colin works the tablet connected to the phone to read the chat. The turnout isn't anything crazy, but right under ten thousand is still significant. These people are more interested in the persona the company made for him, but views are views.

“We are live in 3, 2, 1!” Maps count down and nod once they are officially live.

Damian stares awkwardly at the camera for a few seconds before going into his opening. “Um, hi! Sorry, this is a bit weird, but I hope you don’t mind. I’m not a talkative person, so sorry if I uh… Ya know- pause a lot.” He says, doing his best to act like a normal person for once in his life. He practiced this. Every stutter, every smile, every shy glance away from the camera all scream amateur and average.

His friends privately share a questionable glance, but neither of them says anything. “I didn’t think this many people would care about the stupid stuff I post. A lot of you want to know me better, so I thought this was a good idea. I’m not sure if it was a good idea though. Oh! My friends Maps and Colin are helping me today since I’m pretty new to this thing. Say hi guys!”

Maps point the camera to Colin who waves at it then to herself who grins and holds up the peace sign with her fingers. The camera goes back to Damian who shuffles side to side absentmindedly in his office chair. “Alright, now that that is out of the way, let’s ask some questions!”

@JokersBitch 1s
Does Bruce Wayne have a pool of gold coins?

@H+I69 1s
Awww look at him he's so shy 🥺

@Bats&Birds 1s
How did it feel to punch the Joker? You living the dream!

Questions and comments scroll by in quick succession. Even though there are a reasonable amount of comments, it was too many for Colin to comprehend so he pauses the chat and picks the least intimidating comment. “Uh, does your dad have a pool of gold coins?”

Unfazed, Damian feigns a chuckle and replies, “No, that wouldn’t be practical. We do have a pool, but it’s just water. I think a magazine took pictures of it in a magazine a few years ago.”

@Magnolias2Tulips  
He’s so adorable omg! I just want to squish his cheeks! 🐹

@heroeswatchanime
Do you like anime?

@phoOFF224
How does it feel being the only one NOT adopted?

“Um, uuuuh… Do you like anime?” Colin reads as the chat hastens much to his dismay.

“Yes. I’m a fairly casual viewer so I only know what’s popular, but I like what I’ve watched so far.” Damian answers causing Maps to poorly hide a snort. “What?”

“Fairly casual? I know for a fact you watch it religiously.” She reveals without shame.

“Okay, fine. I really like anime.”

“Shoujo anime.”

“You’re trying to reveal everything about me?”

“No, just the funny parts!”

“Next question.”

@2facedidnothingwrong
Is Wayne really your dad? You don’t look like him. Your brothers look more like him than you do.

@408408q03
OMG 💘 look at the doggo! LOOK AT IT!

@JLAOrgy
Forget the kid! WHO IS THAT GOOD BOI BEHIND YOU!?!

@Monk-E=mc^2  
Show us the Dog! 🔫

Colin frowns at some of the questions coming up, but he pauses the chat on a part where it focuses on something more wholesome. “They want to see more of Titus.”

“Because he’s wonderful.” Damian boasts with a bit of his genuine pride shining through. “This is Titus, my Great Dane. I adopted him when I first moved to Gotham. I trained him myself, and he’s very well-behaved. Sit.” He sits. “Shake.” He shakes his paw in Damian’s hand. “Go to bed.” Titus leaps onto the bed and lies on his back like a person would. 

“Perfect! Good job, now go relax.” Damian hands the smart dog a treat from a jar on his bookshelf. Afterward, the massive canine relaxes on the lounge chaise in his room to gnaw on the bone treat. “What’s next?”

@GothamUSux
How does it feel being the richest kid in America?

@MetropolisBorn1997
Are your brothers single? Fuck, is your sister single? I’m okay with both.

@villiansneedhugs
What are your hobbies?

Colin is about to ask Damian about his hobbies, believing it to be the best question since Damian has a plethora of activities he can impress people with when the room entrance slams open. The walls shook from the door banging into the wall, its handle leaving a dent in the thick wood.

“DAMIAAAAN WAAAAAAAYNE!” The newcomer viscerally roars with pure wrath dripping out Damian’s name like a curse. “You have some explaining to do!”

@Bats&Birds  
WTF is that?

@مرحبًا ابن عمة 💖

🗡️🗡️🗡️

@TTGoAway  
I know that tone anywhere and let me tell you that boy is in so much trouble, IDK what he did but you better start apologizing.

@LuvLiveLove  
⚠️ RUN DAMIAN RUN ⚠️

@42069666123  
Abort! Abort! Jump out the window!

Before Maps could reflexively turn her body (and therefore the camera) to the stranger, the youngest Wayne child throws a notebook at her to knock the device out of her hand. “Don’t you dare look at him!”

“What- huh?! Who is this?!? The girl questions as Colin dives for the phone to turn it off. "What do you think you’re doing!?”

“Who am I? Who are you?! What the heck do you think you’re doing?! Why didn’t anyone here try to stop him!?” The tall boy with wavy midnight locks and blue eyes marred by his rage scolds. “What kind of friends are you!?”

“Damian is allowed to do whatever he wants! You have no say in it!”

“He doesn’t want this!” The other shouts march up to Maps who doesn’t back down from the intimidating presence. “And I do have a say in it since I’m the one he’s forcing himself to do this for! Now move out of the way so I can kill him for it!”

Colin finally shuts down the stream and turns off the phone leaving the audience completely in the dark. Thankfully they didn’t see the confrontation, but they heard the last bit before it ended. They have come to their own conclusions about what they heard.

@Magnolias2Tulips
Yo, I think Damian just fucking died

Meanwhile, Maps is quickly putting the pieces of the puzzle together as she cranes her neck far up to look the other in the eye, “You’re Jonathan… Wow, you’re a lot taller than I thought you’d be. Are you sure he’s younger than us?”

“You’ve been talking about me behind my back too!” Jonathan accuses, rudely pushing past the older girl to get to Damian.

“Habibi, I can explain!”

“You better have a good explanation because if you don’t I’m throwing you out the window!”

“I’m doing this for us!”

“THAT’S IT! TO THE WINDOW WITH YOU!”

Maps recoils from the attack, rubbing her shoulder where she was shoved, and looks at Colin judgingly. “I thought you said he was nice.”

“He is… or was.” The redhead flinches as the two start a physical altercation with Jon trying to pick Damian up while Damian fluidly escapes his grasp like an unruly cat. “We should probably leave.”

“Wait, I kinda want to see where this goes.” Maps protests.

“I don’t.” Colin reaffirms, dragging them out of the room and locking the door behind him.

Jonathan lunges for Damian, who bounds over his bed to put distance between them as he tries to look for the words to get him out of the situation. “Jonathan, it’s not as bad as you think it is. There’s nothing wrong with trying to earn money for us--”

“Is that what you think I’m mad about?!” The taller child bristles, scrambling onto the bed and shaking his partner by the collar of his shirt. “Cause I am, but not as mad as I am at you sub… subgergating? suspecting?”

“Subjecting.” The preteen corrects.

“Yes, thank you.” Jonathan appreciates politely before going back to being angry. “Not as mad as I am about you subjecting yourself to something you hate for me! Not only that but have you seen some of the comments on your stuff? ”

“-Tt- Bold of you to assume I’m doing this only for you,” Damian argues, yanking himself out of Jon’s grip. “Maybe I’m doing this for myself as well. And what do you know about what I’m doing? You don’t know anything about social media.”

Blue eyes stare at the older boy like he grew two heads. “Okay, first off, my brother’s sister is Lena Luthor the Second. You know, the girl who’s had a social media team since she was in kindergarten. Of course I know what an influencer is; she’s annoying about it.” He bluntly points out. “Secondly, I know you’d never do this for yourself because you believe, ‘social media was a mistake that ignorant plebeians exploit to feel validated for opinions they have no right having.’”

“... Why do you have to be a good listener?” Damian groans.

“I don’t know. Why do you try doing everything for me even though I told you it makes me feel useless.” Jonathan ripostes. “I know you have control issues, but this has to be something else. You treat me like I can’t do anything myself. You don’t even let me do paperwork! You don’t want to stress me out, but seeing you unhappy stresses me out more than doing some hard work. And we both know what happens when I’m stressed out. I already slipped up in front of Conner”

“I know, I know but-- Hold up, you what?”

“Let’s finish this first before talking about what I did.”

“Right, okay, fine.” Damian massages the bridge of his nose as he makes sure to mentally put a pin in that. “You’re not useless.”

“You have such a way with words. You know exactly what to say to piss me off.”

“I’m serious. I’ve told you before and I’ll keep telling you that because it’s true. I wasn’t lying when I said I don’t want you to be stressed about having to live up to the standard I have for myself. As you can see, it does wonders for me.” He says that last part with sarcasm. “And it’s not about you.”

“Really? Because you only ever seem to go this far when it’s about me.” Jonathan points out.

“Okay, it’s about you but not in the way you think.”

“Then what is it? Because from my side, it looks like you don’t think I can do anything and to make up for that you ignored everything you stand for.” Jon asks, lying on the bed as Damian sits across him on the seat with Titus.

“No, I just wanted to- urgh, do we have to do this?”

“Damian.”

“Fine. I like you being dependent on me.” Damian finally confesses. “I care about you and find the fact I am able to do things for you appealing. I know I’m skilled in things you might never get to even try, nor should you have to. I like it when you need me to do things because it gives me a sense of superiority and control over your well-being and happiness. I like to be needed, and I especially like to be needed by you since you’re the person closest to me out of your own volition rather than being forced to see me as family. If you started doing things on your own then you’ll see you won’t need me in your life. There. Happy?”

Jon stares at Damian for an entire minute before speaking. “You know that’s messed up, right?”

“I am aware I’m messed up.”

“No, not that. Ignoring the fact you need to see your therapist again, I don’t need you; I want you.” Jonathan tells him without shame or hesitation. “You don’t need to be useful. I already told you you need to be my friend, and you haven’t been doing that.”

“I’m sorry.” Damian apologizes looking at the ground.

“If you don’t care that I’m useless--”

“I never said that.”

“Then you shouldn’t care about being useful.” The child finishes.

“I’ll try, but it’s going to be hard.” Damian promises. “And stop thinking you’re useless.”

“I’ll try.” Jonathan mirrors. “Unless you want to keep going against everything you stand for, you should probably stop whatever this,” He points at Damian’s work phone. “Is.”

“You’re right.” Damian concedes with a sigh. He chuckles to himself and pets his dog. “It’s funny, my father tried to convince me to stop as well.”

“He should’ve just told me and I would’ve beaten some sense into you.”

“Don’t put ideas into his head. I don’t want him tattling to you every time I do something.”

Jonathan barks out a laugh and sits up with a pained grimace. “Ow!”

“What’s wrong?”

“It's nothing. Conner hurt my back trying to crack it.”

Emerald eyes roll at the information. “I leave you alone for one week.”

“Hey, I was grounded. You’re lucky that I didn’t find out sooner or I would’ve actually tossed you out the window.”

“I would’ve been fine. It’s not like you’ll ever get strong enough to hurt me that way without your powers.”

There’s another pause in the conversation before Jonathan finally makes good on his promise and flings Damian out of his third-story window.