Chapter Text
Things sped by after that.
After prom, Alice and Jasper once again snuck me out of my own bedroom back to their place. Pete and Char were only able to stick around long enough to say goodbye to me; now that the newborns had been dealt with and Victoria nothing but ashes, all the danger to me was gone.
But that didn't mean everyone was safe. Jasper and Alice still had the defense of their diet if they got caught by the wolves, but Char and Pete didn't, and we all agreed it wasn't worth the risk to them. As much as I wanted them to stay so I could spend more time with them, I knew it was the right call - sometimes I just needed an extra moment to remind myself of that. It helped to remember that even if I missed them now, we had forever ahead of us.
So they went back to the Oklahoma house, where the three of us would be joining them only a few days after graduation.
That left just me and Jasper and Alice.
And in a perfect cliche, I lost my virginity on prom night. Of course, it was far less about prom and whatever milestone most teenagers are celebrating with that and more the euphoric high of still being alive (or undead), of overcoming challenges, and our boundless optimism for the future.
We made it this far and nothing could stop us now.
There was no awkward fumbling; they had learned my body well over these past weeks, and I had learned theirs in turn. This was just one more thing we did together, one more way to feel connected, one more way to bring each other pleasure. I had thought I might feel different afterwards, but I didn't, not really. Not like I had after first kissing Alice.
Ever since that first kiss, I couldn't get enough of them. I was addicted to them, as they were to each other, and them to me. I constantly sacrificed sleep just to spend one more moment with them; sometimes it just felt like I could never get enough of them, that even if we had until the sun expanded and destroyed the earth, even if we had until the heat death of the universe, it still wouldn't be enough. I'd always want more time with them.
But as much as I wanted to just run off with Alice and Jasper immediately, I still had to finish out my human life. The Newtons had found a replacement for me at the store, and so as I trained him up, my own hours were cut back. It didn't matter anymore, it wasn't like I needed the money; by then, the job was just another part of the charade, almost as fake as my summer writing program.
I filled my free time easily. Sunny, lazy afternoons with my human friends; cloudy, rainy ones with my vampires.
And then finally it was graduation.
If I had thought Charlie was emotional about prom, it was nothing compared to graduation. No tears were shed as far as I saw, but there were definite glimmers in his eyes, especially when he first saw me in my cap and gown. He even managed to be perfectly polite when Renee and Phil decided to surprise us and actually show up. If I was totally honest, he was probably more cordial to Renee than I was at times.
I wasn't even ashamed to admit that I cried when I hugged him right after graduation as everyone met with their own parents. If I wanted to keep my secret, I knew I shouldn't be that emotional when I was theoretically only leaving for a summer and a semester, but even if I rationally knew I had to keep it together, emotionally, I was a mess. So while in reality these were a goodbye to a father who deserved better, I had to play it off as something smaller, just the relief of being done with high school and some excitement for my future at college. They were the last tears I'd ever shed, and I could think of no better use of them.
The Newtons graciously hosted a graduation party for our whole group, families and all. The beginning was okay, even if I had to answer the 'and what are you doing now that high school's over' question a million times from all my friends' relatives. I gave the same lie to everyone and got back essentially the same generic 'oh, how impressive' response over and over. It was tedious, but it was Renee looking so proud when everyone congratulated her on raising such an accomplished child that really made it awful. After months with Charlie, I finally understood what a parent should be and what a disaster Renee had truly been.
So I simply kept up my polite smile and found somewhere else to be whenever someone complimented her on her parenting.
Eventually the adults left and the real fun started. We turned the music up loud, broke out the alcohol, and just let ourselves go free. I got completely wasted for the first (and last) time and danced with even more abandon than I had at prom. We made pacts that we'd never forget each other and stay friends even as we moved away. The latter definitely wasn't happening for me, but I'd do my best to fulfill the former.
Charlie was utterly nonplussed by my state when he picked me up. I could vaguely recall drunkenly telling him how much I loved him and was glad to have spent this time in Forks with him, but I knew that even in my drunkenness I didn't let any of my secrets slip; I wasn't even tempted, not now. Especially not with Renee there.
Renee was far less sanguine than Charlie when I almost threw up on the kitchen floor; he laughed it off, especially since I made it to the trash can in the end, but she tried to lecture me on how she raised me better than that. I let it slide. It didn't matter. Her opinion of me didn't matter. She was gone the next day, and I was leaving only two days after that, never to see her or Charlie ever again.
I started packing up my room, feeling a strange nostalgia for how easily in just a year and change I had truly made it mine, little pieces of myself strewn about, only to be gone again. After I was done packing, the room wasn't exactly the same as it had been when I first moved back in, but it was close enough.
My poor old computer was staying; I had no need of it, not with Char handling all our computer needs. But as I had been reminded, I wouldn't be able to touch anything that delicate without breaking it for a few months after the change anyway. My most beloved books were coming, the rest would be left behind, to be repurchased if needed. Clothes, I only packed enough to seem reasonable for the ruse; I had no doubt that Alice had already started on my new wardrobe. I packed every picture, every photo album, I could find: ones from childhood, ones from Phoenix, ones from the past year, even ones with Edward. I didn't want to forget anything from my human life.
These things all mattered to me. They made me who I was, and I didn't want to lose any of that.
I had no more regrets and nothing left that I wanted to do as human. It was time to leave and start my new unlife.
I packed up my truck and gave Charlie one last hug goodbye. It was the last time we'd see each other, but he didn't know that. He thought it would only be a few months, but still I tried to put every bit of affection I had into that hug. I didn't want to hurt him, but it was inevitable. Eventually we'd have to fake my death, and he would be devastated. All I could do was hope that his friends would be able to support him through it.
I had to drive by myself as far as Montana. The plan was for me to meet up with Alice and Jasper at another one of the Whitlock houses, one they had described as their second favorite, before we all continued on together to their actual favorite, their home, the Oklahoma house. I had originally assumed that we'd just have left from their house, but Jasper was worried that my truck was too recognizable and didn't want to run the risk of anyone, but especially the wolves, ever looking in their garage and noticing it. He was probably being too paranoid, who even goes randomly looking in other people's garages, but he'd been at this far longer than I had, and there really was no harm in preventing a loose end.
I didn't even get to really see the Montana house; it was more of a pit stop than anything else. All we did was store my truck in the garage, switch all our luggage over to Jasper's truck, and then get back on the road.
Alice was driving herself down in her Porsche; it was her newest toy and she wasn't ready to give it up just yet. So that left just me and Jasper and all our stuff in the truck, but I was barely more than luggage myself; I spent at least half the ride sleeping. Even without Alice in the truck to warn him, Jasper didn't get caught speeding at all, despite his utter disregard for the speed limit or other traffic laws. Barring a few stops to refuel and let me stretch my legs, we made it to Oklahoma in what felt like no time at all.
"Last call if you want anything special for a last meal," Jasper said as we drove into the town closest to their, and soon to be my, home.
I looked around; it mostly seemed like a few fast food places - nothing that jumped at me as particularly appealing, and I wasn't even that hungry. I had last eaten a few hours before, when we last stopped for gas. I didn't need anything just yet.
Maybe I would have picked something other than the chicken biscuit if I knew it was going to be my last meal, but probably not. What did it really matter?
"Nah, I'm good," I said. "Unless you think it'll make the change easier?"
He shrugged a bit, "Doubtful. It's three days of hell regardless of what's in your belly at the time."
"Then I'll pass. No sense delaying it for something that doesn't matter."
He gave a sharp nod and continued driving out of town.
With her much faster car and need for fewer stops, Alice had beaten us to the house by quite a bit. And of course, Pete and Char had been there since they had left Forks weeks ago. It almost felt like I was arriving late to a party where I was the guest of honor. Knowing Alice, she was probably already hard at work getting everything in our room arranged to how she liked things, reorganizing her closet, and falling back in love with clothes she had left here. If I didn't like anything about our room, well, that was a problem for me in three days.
The plan was to change me as soon as we got in. No tour of the property, no getting settled in and comfortable, just show up and start the change. Although there was always a glint in Alice's eyes when we discussed it. I assumed she had some sort of twist to the plan worked out, but I couldn't figure out what it was. It fell low on the list of my current worries.
I worried that I wouldn't survive the change, despite Alice's constant reassurances. I knew from Jasper's stories that not everyone did.
I worried that despite our best efforts I would forget something important during the burn.
But mostly, I worried that this easy relationship the three of us had would fall apart after the change. That in the end, I'd end up adrift and alone, not quite fitting in properly among the Whitlock coven. That after we took out Maria, my use would be gone and I'd have to find my own way in the world.
I knew I could do it, but that didn't mean I wanted to. I wanted to stay with Alice and Jasper.
We pulled into the driveway and then drove another few miles to actually get to the house. It had been almost a year of spending time with them in a house in the suburbs, one they had only done interior renovations on, that I had almost forgotten what it could be like when a bunch of vampires custom built something to suit themselves. The house itself wasn't overly ostentatious; nor excessively modern like the Cullens. They had built it only a few years after escaping Maria, during the Roosevelt administration. It was sturdy and sensible for the location; from what they had told me, they compensated for the relatively modest size by constructing out buildings as they needed more space. Still though, it was larger than any house I had ever lived in; but it had been built for three vampires and expanded to suit a fourth, and soon a fifth.
In addition to running out of space, they said the other buildings on the property were also for when someone wanted real privacy, when even the best soundproofing in the world wasn't enough to share a house with others, but I couldn't see any of them from where we were, and I wouldn't have a chance to explore until later, after the change.
Pete and Char were waiting outside for us as we pulled up. Jasper managed to park, get the keys out, and was already pulling Char into a hug before I even got my seat belt unbuckled. By the time I got out, he had also given Pete a hug and was filling them both in on how the trip went, not that there had really been anything of note.
I walked up to join them and as soon as I had, Pete pulled me into a hug. "Swan! Glad to see you're still in one piece. Al's already inside waiting for you guys."
"We'll be back by the time you wake up. We've gotta go fetch your first meal, since Jay and Al are gonna refuse to leave your side the whole time, not even to make themselves useful," Char said with a roll of her eyes.
"Y'all just don't want to listen to the screams of the burn," Jasper parried back.
"Yeah, and we don't know why you'd put yourselves through that," Pete said. "Had enough of that back during the wars, personally."
"Don't worry about it. You don't need to stick around, I'm sure I'll be fine on my own," I said. I didn't want them to have to suffer alongside me.
They all gave me disbelieving looks. Fair enough, even I knew 'fine' was a far cry from how I'd be feeling for the next three days, I could handle it. I had to.
"Bella, there's no way Al would ever leave you alone to go through that. And I'm not leaving either," Jasper said and turned back to Pete and Char, "And if you two are gonna be like that, you may as well leave."
Char flipped him off and the two of them left.
Jasper shook his head at them and then grabbed my hand. "Come on, we'll do this in our bedroom. Nothing really makes it better, but it's a good bed."
He led me through the house, but I didn't really have a chance to take it in before we were in their bedroom where Alice was already waiting for us. Their bedroom here reminded me of the one they had in their house in Washington, but a little more lived in. It was nothing like the overtly feminine, carefully-designed-to-make-a-certain-impression bedroom they had with the Cullens. There were more of Pete's portraits of them on the walls and I wanted to take a closer look at them.
Alice stopped me before I could get any closer by wrapping me in an embrace and pulling my mouth down to hers. "There'll be time to look at everything later."
Right. They were going to bite me now.
I was as ready as I would ever be, but still I felt my nerves escalate. But before I could get too worried, Alice was kissing me again. The kiss started gentle, a soft expression of all the love she had for me, and I answered in kind. She knew how I felt, they both did, but it felt right to reiterate it here before the change.
I broke away from the kiss to say the words, but Alice held a finger to my lips. "Shh, I know, we know, just feel," she said, her lips still so close to mine that I could feel her cool breath as she spoke. And then she closed that gap between us again, increasing the passion of the kiss. Her hands slid under my shirt, caressing my back and sides. I hardly even realized it as she navigated us to the bed, not until the back of my legs hit it and I almost fell over. Almost, because with her arms still around me, she easily supported me before gently laying me down on the bed.
She was far less gentle as she tore my clothes off, throwing the shreds to the floor. I didn't know if this was just her way of ensuring that some clothes she didn't care for were gone for good, or if she just couldn't wait any longer to have me naked beneath her. I didn't have long to think about it before I got lost in the sensations of her touch again. Her mouth left mine, trailing slow kisses down my jaw, then along my neck. My breath hitched as her mouth lingered on my pulse point, thinking that was it, that was when she would bite down, but she kept moving down, only stopping finally, to linger on my left nipple, sucking and licking and pulling until I couldn't help the moan that escaped me.
"That's it, love, we want to hear you," she said before quickly returning her mouth to my breast.
I felt the mattress adjust as Jasper joined us on the bed. Alice moved over to my right nipple to continue her ministrations as Jasper maneuvered our bodies to his liking, me sandwiched between them, with Alice still at my front and my back pressed up against his chest. He was naked already and I could feel his erection pressed up between us, not quite in position yet, but the promise was there. He nipped at my ear, pulling at it in just the way he knew I liked, sending frissions of pleasure down my spine.
I moaned again and a strange sense of satisfaction fell over me. I ground back into Jasper's erection, and a feeling of lust and pleasure spiked in me, drawing a sigh of pleasure out of me. Jasper was focusing his gift on me through the contact between us, amplifying the experience for me.
Like Alice, he made his way down from there, licking and sucking at the sensitive skin of my neck. I was too lost in their touches to worry about him biting me just then. All thoughts of the future had fled; all I had was the present moment.
He had always paid such special attention to my pulse point that it didn't feel unusual. What was unusual was how quiet he was. He was always making small comments, taunts, compliments, dirty talk, praise, when we fucked, but this time there was only his touch and his gift.
Without a word between them, he moved his hands to my breasts as Alice resumed her journey downward. At first it seemed like she was only going to tease me for a moment, she left only a few nips and kisses along my inner thighs before bringing her mouth to the place I truly wanted her. But once there, she started to truly tease and play in earnest. A quick flick of her tongue, before backing off, a few moments of dedicated attention, and then she'd lean back and watch as I writhed, desperate for friction, for her touch.
She smirked at me before going back down, this time adding her fingers.
The teasing stopped.
She was on a mission now, and every swipe of her tongue brought me closer to the edge. Her finger curled in me, and I gasped and moaned as I came. She retreated as I rode my orgasm out, coming up to kiss me again, the taste of me still coating her mouth as I explored it with my tongue. I wanted to devour her the way I knew she was going to devour me when we were done.
Before I even fully recovered from that orgasm, Jasper moved his hands down and lifted my hips with such ease to line me up perfectly over his dick and fully sheathed himself inside me in one swift movement. I relished in the feeling of him inside me, the fullness, especially as the after-effects of my orgasm continued. But still he was not letting me come down easy from it, setting a quick pace, lifting my hips even as he pulled out, then swiftly bringing us back together.
With the use of his gift, I could barely handle everything I was feeling, and we were only getting started.
Alice wasn't done with me yet either, returning to my nipples. Teasing me, pulling at one, then the other, sucking lightly, nipping, using her fingers one moment, then her mouth. I would just barely get used to one sensation before she was switching things up.
All I could do was focus on feeling. I wanted to touch them, to return the pleasure they were giving me, but my brain wasn't working. I couldn't get my limbs to cooperate. All I had was sensasation and the divine ectasy of our bodies moving in concert.
It continued like that for some time. Alice had moved one of her hands down to my clit. I was lost, grounded to reality only by their bodies surrounding me.
Just as my orgasm was about to hit again, they each moved their heads to opposite sides of my neck and bit. They sucked and even as I felt the pull of blood being drawn out of my body, I felt Jasper cum, his physical release combined with the incomprable satisfaction of consuming human blood, a feeling that had haunted me since that night, I was driven to new heights I had never known. With the feeling of his orgasm on top of my own, the pleasure formed a feedback loop between us, and I came so hard I saw stars.
It felt like I could be lost in the waves of that orgasm forever.
But I came to, dragged out of that haze, another sensation rising in me.
They weren't just drinking my blood. They were injecting venom.
I knew this feeling. Like all my veins and nerve endings were set on fire. I had felt it before, and I had thought I could handle it, but it was more than I remembered. Worse than I remembered.
I felt each of them lick at my neck, sealing the venom in. Their touch was excruciating. All my nerves were burning with flames white hot.
But still there were echoes of pleasure still running through me. Jasper. His gift. Sex and his first taste of human blood in years. I grabbed onto it as a lifeline. The only positive feelings in this sea of pain.
I kept focusing on it, not letting go, as I felt them add new bites to my wrists.
More venom, more pain, more fire.
And then again on my thighs.
Any pleasure that Jasper was still sending me wasn't enough.
It all burned away.
I burned.
All I knew was the flames of the change.
I knew what I had to do. It felt impossible though. In all our talks, I thought it would be simple, straightforward. But now, in this moment, it seemed an insurmountable summit.
But I couldn't just give up.
I focused on my memories.
On who I was.
On why this was happening.
On who was doing this to me and how much I loved them.
On everything I wanted to keep.
I didn't care if I screamed.
Holding in my pain wasn't as important as keeping who I was and who I wanted to be.
And I burned.
***
I couldn't tell how long it had been, time had ceased to have all meaning, but with one final crescendo as my heart stopped, the burn went away.
I kept my eyes closed as I adjusted to the sudden lack of pain. I didn't breathe. I listened instead.
At first all I hear was silence, but as I focused, there was wind, and the slight movement of fabric, and then faintly, but not too far away, heartbeats. Two of them.
And it all hit me then.
I was Bella Swan, perhaps more formally Isabella Marie Swan Whitlock.
I had survived the transition.
I was a vampire.
And those heartbeats were meant for me. My first meals as a vampire.
I was still me, and I remembered enough. Only time would tell if I had forgotten anything, but for now, I knew who I was, what I was, and why. It was enough.
I breathed in for the first time as a vampire and was overwhelmed with all the new information; I knew my senses were limited as a human, but it was unbelievable how much until I was on the other side. There was so much. Everything had a scent, the fabric of the sheets I was laying on, the walls, the furniture, and the air carried all of them.
But two sets of scents stood out to me. I knew who they belonged to instinctively. They called out to me, home and safety and belonging and eternity.
Alice and Jasper.
Magnolias and amber and sandalwood for Alice. Gunpowder and musk and cedar for Jasper. Scents that resonated in my soul.
It was like she had said all those months ago: the three of us were destined.
Maybe she hadn't known then just what we were destined to be, but everything that happened these last nine months, everything from when Alice had first woken from her own change, all of it had been leading to this moment.
Me and Alice and Jasper. Jasper, Alice, and me. Inextricably linked for all time.
I had been so worried about not having a place with them, but in the end, I had no reason to worry at all. We were all mates, meant to be, forever.
I opened my eyes finally. Again there was so much more to see than I ever could as a human. Every slight color variation in the walls or the way the light refracted just a little bit as it came in through the window. But more than that were all the details I had previously missed in my mates that I could now see.
My mates. Just the thought of it brought me such joy.
If I had thought Alice was perfect before, it was nothing compared to what I saw now. She was absolutely flawless, elegant and graceful. Even in the light indoors there was a shimmer to her. She glowed with happiness as my eyes met hers. Her now red eyes, red from my blood. As soon as I had the thought, I sprung up and had her wrapped in my embrace, kissing her with all I had. She gave her light tinkling laugh; it sounded even better now.
"You're the one who's stronger than me now, Bella, gotta be careful," her voice full of mirth.
I released her in embarrassment and spun around to find Jasper. He looked uncharacteristically tense, and I had no idea why. Like Alice, there was so much more for me to see with my new eyes. I had seen and felt his scars before, but now they were practically flashing signs, obvious and attention grabbing. But they had never bothered me before and that hadn't changed. I tried to keep my movements slow as I approached him, but given the way he flinched, I wasn't entirely successful.
But I kissed him, slow and passionate. He was mine and I was his, just like we were both Alice's. He relaxed and kissed me back with a fervor.
"You truly are a marvel, darlin'," he said as he broke the kiss. "Like no newborn I've ever seen."
I shrugged. I remembered his stories, but I didn't really feel out of control, just a little overwhelmed.
"C'mon, darlin', let's get you fed. There's lots to do, and not nearly enough time," he said.
Jasper took my hand, and Alice took the other, and they led me out of the room and out to the start of our lives together.