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Chapter Text

Lumine takes the sigil of permission and runs . 

The path from Liyue Harbour to the heart of Jueyun is a long and perilous one. She leaps over any slimes that burst out of the ground, hoping that it will slow down the Millelith (optimistically, but doubtful), and she steers clear of any hilichurl camps she spots in the distance because she's sure they'll trip her up even if she tries to dash through them.

She runs into a geovishap who spots her before she can make an escape, and this one she strikes down - it sets her back by a good few minutes. The bone shards she extricates from the creature's corpse makes it worth it, though, and she doesn't actually want the Millelith dead, despite them pursuing her. (Not that Lumine doesn't think they couldn't handle a geovishap, except that she thinks just that. If her travels have taught her anything, it was not to underestimate any one individual but not to overestimate a group of them. She didn't spot any vision holders in the squad chasing her.) 

She barely makes it all the way to Jueyun Karst - just managing to keep a few steps ahead of the party of Millelith pursuing her. 

The ground rumbles underneath her feet, noticeable enough such that even Paimon who's hovering over her shoulder makes distressed yelps.

A… stag? Looms above them. It's larger than any animal she's ever seen yet, fur patterned in a myriad of colours, eyes glowing amber.

"And who might you be?" Says the stag. Normal animals, Lumine also knows, can't talk. Unless they float. "Those that dare enter Jueyun Karst?"

Paimon whispers loudly to her, "that must be one of the adepti!"

Lumine shows the sigil of permission, prepared to run back to Liyue Harbour to kick Childe’s ass if it turned out to be fake.

"A Sigil of Permission... Many a season has passed since one was last in the presence of such an item.” Ah. The fatuus lives another day. 

“He before you is the mighty and illuminated adeptus, Moon Carver. Speak, traveler. What business have you here?"

Paimon starts, “actually-”

The Millelith thunder into view. ”It's the assassin! They dared to flee here to Jueyun Karst!”

Dammit. Maybe Lumine should have left the geovishap for them after all.

Then Moon Carver says, “See them gone. One will not have interruption.” 

Which is just as well for Lumine. Now that she has gotten express permission from the mighty and illuminated adepti to kick the Millelith out…

The Millelith lie unconscious in a heap. Moon Carver seems unconcerned about the bodies on his land, instead turning back to Lumine. Paimon immediately launches into an explanation of the events - the Rite of Descension, Lumine and Paimon visiting as ordinary tourists from Mondstadt, Rex Lapis falling to his death from the sky-

“PREPOSTEROUS!”

Paimon squeaks, and darts behind Lumine.

“Traveler, of the unjust accusations placed upon you, one has become aware.” Moon Carver inclines his head. 

The whole situation is a little funny, if Lumine considers it. The only thing different about herself and the Millelith is the sigil of permission she holds - is this little trinket that powerful, that her word is immediately taken over the large group of native Liyuens that have come to apprehend her? How did the Fatui come to have this in his possession, anyways?

Moon Carver continues, “go. Take your Sigil of Permission, carry with you a message.”

Lumine nods. “Who should I look for?”

Moon Carver pauses, almost considering. “You have arrived here from Liyue Harbour, correct? Perhaps you have seen… ah, never mind.”

“Is there someone we have to look for in Liyue Harbour?” Paimon asks.

Moon Carver shakes his head. “No, you should not concern yourself with such matters. That will be something for one's fellows to handle.”

“Alright then, if you’re sure,” Paimon says.

Moon Carver directs them to the other adepti - two more, deeper into Jueyun, and one other who resides on top of Wangshu.

They look for the adepti in the mountains, first. Paimon yet again refuses to explain how she flies, so Lumine has to scale towering heights with her hands and knees. Moon Carver had pointed her towards a trail of amber on Mount Hulao, and said he would see to the unconscious Millelith - hopefully he puts in a good word for her as well so she doesn't get arrested on the way to Wangshu later on.

They stumble upon two unlucky adventurers who call them adepti messengers, which Lumine figures is sort of true, since they are sending a message to the adepti. They quickly make themselves scarce.

Then a crane descends upon the heavens and accuses them of setting some thieves free, which… oops.

“Moon Carver sent us,” Lumine says, presenting her sigil of permission. 

The crane, whom she learns is Mountain Shaper, hums and haws over the sigil for a moment, then Paimon quickly jumps into her explanation.

Mountain Shaper reacts similarly to Moon Carver - disbelief that his god can be assassinated, then anger that his god had been assassinated, and then saying that he needed to confer with his other adepti.

A little inconvenient, then, that Lumine has to be the one scaling mountains and inns to find the other two. Surely Mountain Shaper, who 1. Can fly, 2. Knows the location of the other adepti, and 3. Has to speak to them anyways, pass the message himself?

“Traveler,” Mountain Shaper says, “you said… you have come from Liyue Harbour, correct?”

“I came straight from the Rite of Descension.”

“Then, one must ask…” Mountain Shaper ruffles a wing, looking as disgruntled as a crane can be. “Did you perchance encounter any… notable individuals?”

“Moon Carver asked us something like that, too!” Paimon says. 

Notable individuals? He didn’t mean the Fatui, did he?

Lumine shakes her head. “What do they look like?”

Mountain Shaper pauses, then looks away. “...One need not burden you with adepti affairs.”

“Is there another adeptus in Liyue Harbour?” Paimon asks. “Do we have to find them too?”

Mountain Shaper says, “One will depart as soon as one has attended to this matter. One trusts that the manner of your departure will be swifter in nature.”

Okay then.

“Surely if there is an adeptus in Liyue Harbour, they would have been at the Rite of Descension!” Paimon is saying to her. “I hear the adepti prefer living away from humans in places like this, you know! Do you think there’s an adeptus in the Harbour?”

“Even if there was, we probably didn’t meet them,” Lumine says to her. They had gone to the Rite the very moment they stepped foot in the Harbour. Although apparently one of the adepti lives at Wangshu Inn, so surely they must not be as isolated from humans as previously thought?

The top of Mount Aozang is deserted. Rather scenic, with a nice wading pool and a table set up for lunch, but no adepti whatsoever. Paimon suggests… cooking. 

Miraculously? It works. The adeptus who must be Cloud Retainer beckons them into a domain, and if her Teyvatian travels have taught Lumine anything, it was how to quickly make her way through one. 

Puzzles, puzzles, more puzzles… there’s a surprising number of mechanisms that can activate if you hit it hard enough… or randomly enough. 

Although in place of a treasure chest at the end of this domain, there is instead another crane. “One is most impressed. The path that leads through this abode defies those of ordinary abilities.”

“It’s all thanks to Lumine over here!” Paimon cheers.

Cloud Retainer says, “get to the point.” Well she actually says many more words, but they can be surmised as so.

Paimon clears her throat and begins her lengthy explanation for the third time. Lumine’s glad she’s here to do all the speaking.

Cloud Retainer reacts like this: disbelief, then anger, then- well, it stops at anger. She says, “perhaps one shall squash Liyue first, then convene with the other adepti–”

“Wait what?!” Paimon squeaks. “Did you just say squash Liyue Harbor? Are you seriously gonna wipe out the whole city?”

Cloud Retainer gives Paimon a disdainful look. 

Lumine crosses her arms as Paimon flails, trying to defend the very Harbour which killed Rex Lapis. She understands Cloud Retainer’s frustration, honestly - she’s partway through her quest of turning Teyvat inside out to find Aether, and if she has to look under every single wooden floorboard... 

She doesn’t voice any of that, though, because Cloud Retainer sounds like she’s one validation away from fulfilling her dreams. She says, “isn’t there an adeptus in Liyue Harbour?”

Cloud Retainer sniffs. “There is more than one adeptus in Liyue Harbour.”

Huh. Cool. 

“Oh, yeah!” Paimon says. “Moon Carver and Mountain Shaper were talking about one of them, I think."

“This is a matter one should see to personally,” Cloud Retainer says. And then she tactfully tells them to leave.

“I don’t get it,” Paimon says, when they’re safely outside of the adeptus’ abode. “Is the adeptus at Liyue Harbour someone super important? Why is everyone talking about them?”

The adeptus at Wangshu Inn, according to the Innkeeper, can be coaxed out with food offerings. Almond tofu, specifically.

Lumine doesn't know what she was expecting - another crane? A stag to balance the scales? - but it certainly wasn't an ordinary looking man, who for all intents and purposes could pass off as a regular (slightly eccentric) Inn-goer in Liyue. 

Which, she supposes, is the point of a disguise.

The conqueror of demons, who tells her to call him Xiao, reacts first with the expected disbelief then breaks the mold to express… distress. More so than his adeptal counterparts.

“Rex Lapis... How could this be?” Xiao says, gripping his plate, eyes large. “I... can't imagine it. Though times have changed, I've never imagined a Liyue without him.”

“Um,” Paimon says. “You okay?”

“This is terrible,” Xiao says. “What will he say?”

“He?” Paimon says. “Are you talking about that one important adeptus at Liyue Harbour?”

Xiao’s gaze snaps up. Paimon squeaks and darts behind Lumine.

“How did you hear of him?” Xiao demands. “Have you met him?”

“We heard about him from the other adepti,” Lumine tells him.  

“I see…” Xiao frowns down at his plate. “It’s not something you should concern yourself with. I will handle it.”

“If you’re sure,” Paimon says.

“We’re headed back to Liyue Harbour, if you’re coming,” Lumine says. 

“No need,” Xiao answers. 

“Wait!” Paimon says. “But who is-”

Xiao disappears in a cloud of smoke.

Paimon stomps her foot in the air. "Why do the adepti keep ignoring my questions!"

Chapter Text

If someone had told Zhongli that this year’s Rite of Descension would be the last time anyone saw Rex Lapis alive, he might have accepted Hu Tao’s offer and gone to see it with her.

Instead, he finds out a few minutes later - when Ferrylady and Meng and Hu Tao come bursting in, all equal amounts of frantic.

It wasn’t uncommon to see Meng frantic. Hu Tao was, however, often unruffled, so this was a concerning sight.

“Did something happen?” Zhongli says, setting his papers down.

Meng wails. Ferrylady wrenches her skirt. Hu Tao cries, “Rex Lapis is dead!”

Let it be said that Zhongli is a calm and rational person. He doesn't immediately jump to conclusions.

See, the thing is, when an archon dies, they do not die with a whisper. Havira's death collapsed towers of salt, his mother's had crumbled mountains to dust. He had not seen the first Anemo Archon's death but he'd seen the aftermath of it - typhoons ripping at the edge of Liyue, kept at bay by Rex Lapis's power.

He'd always assumed when Rex Lapis (the oldest of the seven, the Prime of Adepti) died - if he somehow even managed to die before Zhongli, that is, - Zhongli would feel it. The adepti would feel it. Perhaps even the furthest nations at the far reaches of Teyvat would feel the tremors of it. 

He certainly wouldn't expect the death of Rex Lapis to come like this - with, well, nothing.

So Zhongli doesn't panic. (Maybe he panics a little.) There must be more to this than meets the eye, and he must begin his investigations. 

He says, "how likely would it be for Wangsheng to be allowed to handle the 'corpse'?" He puts mental air quotes for his peace of mind.

Hu Tao springs up, shock overwriting her grief. "You are a genius!"

The request is approved immediately, according to Hu Tao, who had barely stepped into the Tianquan's holding room before she got turned around just as quickly with her seal of approval. 

Apparently, the Emissary of the Qixing has expedited the request.

"You also got a letter," she says to Zhongli. "Whatever odd business you have with the Qixing… well I suppose I have to thank you that you've gotten us this job! Don't worry, I didn't peek."

Ganyu's handwriting is more frantic than he is used to. She says, "My lord, you must have heard the news right now - I'm sorry it has come to you like this. Investigations are underway. One of the suspects has fled to Jueyun Karst, and the Millelith have given chase. I must make haste - please do not fret! We will get to the bottom of this."

It must be true then, if Ganyu has confirmed-

-No! Zhongli will not verify anything until he examines the corpse himself. There will be some intricacies that the other adepti will be unable to pick out, perhaps something that stands out to him.

“When will we be able to see the body?” Zhongli demands.

Hu Tao looks at him, frowning. “The body was moved to the Golden House.”

"Let's head there immediately," Zhongli says, and pivots on his heel.

"Wait, wait!" Hu Tao grabs his sleeve. "Why are you the reckless one today? At least let me grab those dusty old books!"

It takes a good fifteen minutes to find the Hu's family archives for adeptal burials, in which time Zhongli considers just coming clean and telling Hu Tao that he knows it all (although he suspects she already thinks so). It's fifteen minutes of time wasted, fifteen minutes they arrive later to the Golden House, fifteen minutes more before Zhongli gets to see the Exuvia.

"Hey, slow down!" Hu Tao says. "What's gotten into you today?" She has to jog to keep up with him.

Meng scurries along behind them. “W-wait up!”

Zhongli would slow down, but he's too wound up with nerves. He would teleport straight to the Golden House if he could.

The Millelith let them pass. Zhongli throws open the double doors of the Mint he once helped build.

His father’s corpse is hung up on the central stage.

"Oh, wow," Hu Tao says, squeezing in from behind him. "It's huge."

"It's scary," Meng says, on Zhongli's other side.

Hu Tao seems oddly subdued, almost reverent, as she approaches the Exuvia. 

Zhongli wordlessly gazes on his father's adeptus form - lifeless, cold, empty. It's eyes closed, it's head hung, not a single elemental trace inside- 

-No. That can't be right.

If Zhongli was thinking a little clearer, he might have been surprised that neither Hu Tao nor Meng say anything when he leaps up to a ledge by the corpse. From all outward appearances down to the fine hairs of his snout, this is Rex Lapis's form.

Except, the moment Zhongli touches the corpse, he knows - it's not real.

He is unable to explain why he knows. It's not exactly the lack of a gnosis that tipped him off - Morax was an adepti first and foremost and a gnosis was not a heart that kept him alive, nor his entire source of power. He could live and fight without a gnosis but the thought of him taking it out is unheard of, ludicrous, even, but not out of the realm of possibility.

But how does Zhongli know that the Exuvia is not a real corpse? He just… does.

(He sure hopes he'd be able to correctly identify his father's dead body, in any case.)

The anxiety and fear on his shoulders melts away…

...and is then quickly replaced by frustration and anger.

The exuvia is genuine, but the corpse is fake?

But surely no one else other than Rex Lapis himself would be able to recreate the exuvia like this. 

Did… did Rex Lapis fake his death ?!

If he didn't, surely he would have come forward immediately! 

Does he know what he's doing? Does he know how terrified Zhongli was?

Zhongli is going to kill Rex Lapis.

He bounds down from his perch in a single leap. Meng shrieks.

"Master Hu," Zhongli says. "This is abrupt but may I request an emergency leave of absence? I need to settle an urgent matter, I will be back in-"

" Aiyah, just go," Hu Tao says. "I'll handle things here. Take as long as you need for your… matters."

"Thank you, Master Hu."

"You're off the clock now."

"Thank you, Hu Tao." 

Hu Tao and Meng watch him go.

" Aiyo , how sad," Hu Tao sighs.

"Master Hu," Meng starts. "D-do you think, that, um, Mister Zhongli is-" 

"It's a bit beyond us to pry in adeptal affairs, don't you think?" Hu Tao says, crossing her arms. "Although we're already planning the funeral of one. I hope Zhongli gets to the bottom of this matter soon. I think he'd want a hand in the Rite of Parting."

Chapter Text

Zhongli goes to his nearest source of comfort to settle his thoughts.

Granny Ping reaches for him the moment she sees him. "Oh, my dear," she says, reaching out to him. "I am so sorry-"

"He's not dead." Zhongli stomps over to her, and catches the teacup she almost drops in her shock.

"A-Li, what do you mean?"

"I saw the exuvia. It's an empty shell. A fake corpse." Zhongli huffs. He sits down next to her. 

A glaze lily pokes at his arm, seeming almost surprised. Zhongli gives it a pat.

Granny hands him a fresh cup of tea. 

"I don't understand," Zhongli says. "The exuvia is real - it's the form that Father made. This is his doing. He staged his own death during the Rite of Descension… but why?"

"Why indeed," Granny says. "Your father has never been the reckless sort. If he did do what you said he did, then he must have an ulterior motive."

"Even not telling me?"

She doesn't reply to that. Zhongli downs his tea.

Zhongli sighs. "Do you think Barbatos is awake now?"

"I can't say, my dear," says Granny. 

Zhongli sighs again to the bottom of his teacup. "Wish he was here. He'd know what to do."

Despite their differing ranks in the hierarchy of Celestia, Barbatos the Anemo Archon was closer in age to Zhongli than he was to Rex Lapis. Give or take a few hundred years, that is - but at the time when they met shortly after Barbatos was crowned the new Archon of Mondstadt, Zhongli was rather delighted to meet someone new, especially someone who didn't watch him grow up and remember all his toddler years (how embarrassing!) or immediately see him as their god's son. 

Granted, Zhongli had grown up beside Ganyu, who was born a few years after he was, but who never seemed to be able to separate herself from ranking and always addressed him far too formally. 

He had known Xiao, too, who was also about Zhongli's age but had joined them already grown up, war-bitten, and very skittish. It took Xiao a couple more years before he settled down into himself, finally spoke to Zhongli, and started playing the flute.

Father had always disagreed with Barbatos' ways and called him a drunken idiot, disgrace to the arts, and plenty of names under the sun. In turn Barbatos called Father a blundering buffoon and a blockhead, and Zhongli got in trouble whenever he laughed along. Of course, Zhongli knew that despite their constant bickering they did love each other in the way only old friends could. Revelling in their archon-hood in a way they could only understand. 

Other than Zhongli, he thinks if anyone knew his father best, it would be Barbatos. He would be able to tell Zhongli about "what that blockhead of your father is planning" just by hearing the gossip, and then he would know what to do. He'd probably be able to fly down to any one of the many many nooks and crannies in the whole of Liyue and fish him out to chew him out.

But, 500 years ago…

Zhongli absently nods as Granny tops up his tea.

Nobody had heard from him ever since he's fallen into a slumber. Every passing year Zhongli fears he's gone the way of the original five. Mondstadt remains standing but who knew, really? Barbatos would have taken to the skies and flew straight into the Dark Sea before he would let the throes of his death destroy his country. 

It worries him. He almost wants to go back to Mondstadt right now to try and find him, but he cannot leave Liyue at this time. Maybe he should ask Xiao-

"The other adepti," Zhongli startles. Did they know? It will not take long for word to travel to Wangshu Inn, but news may not make it to the seclusion of those in Jueyun Karst. If Zhongli himself couldn't feel the elemental changes (since the death is fake), they too wouldn't be able to tell. Ganyu would be too busy to leave her post for a visit.

"They would know, by now," Granny says. "There is a messenger seeking them."

"What? Who?" 

"A peculiar outlander with blonde hair," Granny says. "I didn't catch where she was from, but I hear she was speaking to your boyfriend. He sent her off with a sigil of permission."

“Oh,” Zhongli says. “I see.” An outlander? How strange.

"Also, Childe isn't my boyfriend."

"Of course, dear."

Chapter Text

It's late in the evening when Zhongli returns to Wangsheng.

Hu Tao is at the reception, and she bounds up to Zhongli, arms spread to catch him in a hug. He accepts it, a little bewildered. The hug isn't out of character for her but the lack of shrieking that usually accompanies it is.

"Your boyfriend came by," Hu Tao says, cheek squished against his jacket. "He said he wanted to talk to you."

"Childe isn't my boyfriend," Zhongli says.

"Aha! But you do know who I was referring to!"

Zhongli rolls his eyes. "I shall find him later, then. How was the rest of your visit at the Golden House?"

Hu Tao shrugged. "We verified that Rex Lapis is dead, Meng almost passed out again, and then we came back here. There's not much to do for him now."

That is true. "Have you started proceedings for the Rite of Parting?"

Hu Tao stares at him for a moment. "No," she says. "I was actually wondering if you wanted to do it."

Him? Well… Zhongli isn't going to look a gift-dragon in the mouth. "Yes, I think I would like that."

He was going to plan the worst funeral ever for dear old dad. That motherfucker didn't deserve a good one.

Childe sweeps back into Wangsheng just as they're closing up for the night. "Zhongli!"

"Hello, Childe," Zhongli greets. "I hear you've been looking for me." 

He hears Hu Tao giggle from the corner, so he ushers Childe into his office. Childe just looks amused, and he gently moves a bundle of parchment that Zhongli has left on the chair so he can take a seat.

“How have you been, Zhongli?”

“The day has not been going great, if I am being honest,” Zhongli admits.

“Ah, is this about the Rite of Descension?” Childe looks appropriately sympathetic. “It must be hard, for Liyue to lose her god so suddenly."

"It's certainly a shame," Zhongli says, trying not to clench his fist under the table. He'd walked past far too many distressed citizens on the way here, traumatised if not by the corpse of a god falling from the sky, then by the uncertainty of the situation at hand.

"I'm here to speak to you about that, actually," Childe says. "Sorry for jumping straight to business. I hear Wangsheng is organizing the Rite of Parting?"

"Master Hu had it arranged this morning," Zhongli nods.

"You should take some credit!" Childe says. "She told me it was your idea."

"Perhaps," Zhongli says. He hadn't wanted to organize the Rite more than he wanted to see Rex Lapis… and now he knows Rex Lapis isn't even dead. Was it blasphemous to plan a funeral for a living god? But then again, his father clearly wanted everyone to think he was dead…

"Anyways," Childe clears his throat. "What are the chances I can go see Rex Lapis?"

"Zero," Zhongli answers without hesitation.

Childe laughs out loud. "I figured. What are the chances that a friend of mine can, then?"

"A friend?" Zhongli says. "If it's another 'diplomat' from Snezhnaya, then their chances are just like yours."

"No, no," Childe says. "You're very knowledgeable about Liyue matters, have you been keeping track of news outside of here? You see, there's this girl called Lumine…"

Zhongli startles. "She met a bard named Venti?"

"Zhongli," Childe says, "I told you that whole story, and that's your takeaway?"

"Alright," Zhongli steamrolls over him. "I will take her to see Rex Lapis." (Not sure how much good that would do, for whatever Lumine’s purpose may be, to see a “dead” god.) "Will you arrange a meeting between us, Childe?"

"Of course," Childe pats his hand. He's smiling a bit too wide, like he's satisfied that the pieces of his plan are slotting into place. 

Zhongli isn't too sure himself as to why the Tsaritsa sent a Fatui Harbinger to Liyue, but who is Zhongli to question an archon. Surely his father had it covered-

-Ah. Hm. 

Hmmm.

Ahh.

…Hmmm…

Perhaps Zhongli should be more wary about promising Childe ambiguously dubious favors? 

"And one more thing," Childe scratches the back of his head. "I don't know how much it means coming from me, but, uh, how do you go about clearing someone's name to the Millelith? Lumine is still a suspect for Rex Lapis's murderer, you see-"

Ahem. What was it Zhongli said to himself earlier about exercising more caution?

But if this Lumine character has really met Barbatos…

Zhongli reaches for a piece of paper and a pen. Perhaps he's abusing his authority a little, because he knows Ganyu will drop her work to read anything he sends her.

"I have it covered," Zhongli tells him wryly.

Chapter Text

Zhongli meets Lumine a day later at the Yuehai Pavilion. 

She's rather put together, for someone who apparently ran to Jueyun Karst and back in a day, and she's accompanied by a little floating fairy; the both of them quite… out of this world. 

Zhongli can sense the energies of the other adepti around her. Moon Carver, Mountain Shaper, Cloud Retainer, and even Xiao. All their four energies mix together in a rather distasteful, distressing kind of aura. Maybe Zhongli shall call for them to reassure them that Rex Lapis is simply… pretending to be dead? 

Childe introduces them both, sounding far too chipper, no doubt revelling at the way his Fatui schemes were falling together. He should be glad Zhongli likes him.

Lumine tells him about her missing brother, and her goal to meet all seven Archons. How that would all work out, Zhongli isn’t too sure (does his father have sibling finding powers? The marvels of Archonhood never ceases to amaze him.) Still, it’s not his place to judge, and if this girl really met Barbatos, who is arguably the most elusive one of the Seven (on account of simply not being seen for the past 500 years), she would have a good chance at succeeding. This whole debacle is above his station. 

So Zhongli agrees to take her to the Exuvia.

The three of them have lunch, as they watch Childe try to pretend he’s not struggling with his chopsticks. When it’s clear that their plates are empty and the only thing they’re doing is watching him, Childe admits defeat. 

“Stop gawking at me like a zoo animal,” Childe flushes. “Why don’t you three get started on whatever you need to do? I’ll stay here and… uh… tackle these death sticks.”

“You’ll learn to use them one day,” Zhongli says encouragingly to him.

Childe sticks out his tongue.

She and Paimon follow him out onto the streets. Zhongli guides her deeper into the market and away from prying ears, and then he says, "would you mind if I ask you both a few questions, Lumine and Paimon?"

"Go ahead," she says. 

"Childe was telling me about your exploits in Mondstadt. I hear you met Barbatos."

"That Fatui," Paimon shakes a fist. "Spilling our secrets!"

Lumine crosses her arms. "Yeah, we met him." She stares at him sharply, like she's ready to jump to arms to duel him over this tiny secret to defend Barbatos, and Zhongli's heart eases that she's a friendly ally. You never know with outlanders.

"It's been a very long time since I met him," Zhongli says meaningfully. "Perhaps we are due for a catch up."

Paimon circles uncertainly. "Are you two… friends?" 

"We are," Zhongli nods. "Does he still go by Venti, with a terrible addiction for Dandelion wine?" 

Lumine tilts her head meaningfully. "Yeah, he does. He was the one that suggested we head here for the Rite of Descension." 

Zhongli hums. “Did he forewarn anything about… the events for the rite?”

“What?” Paimon squeaks. “Do you think the tone-deaf bard would have known something?”

...Tone deaf? Haha, that’s kind of funny.

“No, never mind then,” Zhongli says. That doesn’t necessarily mean Barbatos didn’t know about his father’s plans, just that he didn’t tell Lumine and Paimon about it. Now that he’s awake, maybe Zhongli should drop by Mondstadt… or maybe he’ll send a message. He doesn’t think he should leave Liyue right now…

Paimon stomps her foot on the ground. “Why is everyone ignoring my questions today?”

Lumine bats at her. To Zhongli she says, “He didn’t tell us much, just that the Rite of Descension is the annual event where Rex Lapis meets his people.”

“By any chance, did he say anything about coming to Liyue?” Zhongli asks, almost hopefully.

Lumine shakes her head. “No, we left him behind at Mondstadt.”

“Yeah,” Paimon nods. “I don’t think it’s very safe for him to travel right now, not after what that Harbinger Signora did to him.”

Zhongli narrows his eyes. “What? What did the Harbinger do?”

Lumine smacks Paimon on the back, making the little fairy splutter, and exchanges a worried glance with her.

Zhongli crosses his arms. “I can assure you that despite my temporary alliance with the Fatui in Liyue, I am friends with Barbatos first and foremost.”

But Lumine shakes her head. “I’m sorry, Zhongli. I think this is too sensitive for me to just speak about, even if you’re one of the Liyue Adepti. If you’re really Venti’s friend, you should get the answer from him.” 

Zhongli frowns. Looks like communication with Mondstadt is prudent, then. 

“Apologies, then, I have to cut our meeting short today,” Zhongli says. “It seems like I have an urgent matter to attend to. Could you meet me in the market later this evening?”

“Alright,” Lumine says, and Zhongli immediately heads for Wangshu Inn.

Xiao has worn a hole down the wood with his pacing, when Zhongli lands on the railing.

“Young Master!” Xiao rushes to him. “You must have heard the news.”

“I saw the exuvia,” Zhongli huffs, still peeved. “It’s not even real, can you believe it?”. 

Xiao sags. “It’s true, then? Rex Lapis really is- wait, what?”

“It’s a fake corpse!” Zhongli says. “The exuvia is genuine, and only my father can manipulate it, which points to his involvement. But there is no gnosis in the exuvia, nor any elemental trace. That can only mean the corpse was staged.”

Xiao’s eyes widen. “But… why would Lord Morax do such a thing?”

“I don’t know,” Zhongli crosses his arms. “I suppose he didn’t tell you anything.”

Xiao shakes his head. “I only found out yesterday from two strange outlanders. I found it suspicious at first when I conferred with the other adepti, as none of us detected any elemental anomaly. But Ganyu sent a missive confirming the rumours.”

“You met with the other adepti?” Zhongli says. “Why wasn’t I invited?”

“...We didn’t want to worry you, Young Master. Ganyu had informed us that she had already gotten into contact with you.”

“Xiao-”

“-ahem, we had a few conjectures on what may have harmed Lord Morax, but the seals on Osial, Azhdaha and Chi remained intact. But if the exuvia is fake…”

Zhongli watches Xiao pace. 

“There are a few reasons why one might fake their deaths,” Xiao says. “Lord Morax may have sensed danger and wished to lay low.”

Zhongli tries, “Xiao-”

“-He may be injured and require respite. He may be coerced into doing so-”

“Um, Xiao?”

“-He may be in danger and wishes to send a message. He may be suffering from ill effects of erosion-”

“XIAO!”

Xiao jumps, startled. Zhongli glares at him.

“Apologies for worrying you, Young Master.”

“I’m not worried,” Zhongli huffs.

Xiao quickly straightens up. “...Of course, Young Master. Should I inform the other adepti of this development?”

Zhongli opens his mouth… and then hesitates. Father did not tell any of the other adepti about the fake corpse. But did he intend to deliberately conceal the truth, or (as with the horrible list of reasons Xiao keeps listing) did he simply not have any means to do so? If Rex Lapis was truly facing some sort of danger, it was pertinent for the adepti to act immediately.

But if he was faking his death on purpose…

Surely his father would know that Zhongli would recognize a fake corpse. Did he expect Zhongli to inform the others accordingly? Or did he expect him to keep the secret? As infuriating as his actions were… Father is still the Geo Archon of Liyue, and if he truly had some sort of agenda…

Zhongli isn’t sure. He says as much to Xiao, who pauses in contemplation, and the two of them look out the balcony of Wangshu Inn to stare at the setting sun over Jueyun Karst.

“Have you told anyone else?’ Xiao asks. 

Zhongli shakes his head. “Just you. Oh, and Granny. She was as surprised as you were.”

Xiao furrows his brow. “If this is truly one of Lord Morax’s plans, then perhaps we shouldn’t interfere…”

“But what if he’s truly in danger?” Zhongli says. “It’s better to be cautious and warn the other adepti. If Father truly had a hidden agenda, then he would have accounted for my involvement and would have found some way to contact me if he truly wanted me to keep it a secret.”

Xiao nods. “You’re right. Shall I inform the other adepti?”

“Yes. Oh, one more thing.”

Xiao stands to attention. “Anything.”

“Afterwards, could you go to Mondstadt?” 

Xiao twitches. “Almost anything.”

“Xiao,” Zhongli cajoles, elbowing him.

Xiao sighs. “I don’t think it is wise for me to leave my post at this juncture.”

“Nor is it appropriate for myself to leave Liyue,” Zhongli says to him. “However, the trip to Mondstadt is of utmost importance. Please.”

The sides of Xiao’s lip twitches. “What will I need to do in Mondstadt? We haven’t made contact with them, since…”

Since five hundred years ago, when…

“That’s actually the reason,” Zhongli says. “I have reason to believe that Barbatos has recently awoken.”

Xiao’s mouth falls open. “Barbatos? Really?”

“I need you to find him,” Zhongli says.

“Alright,” Xiao agrees immediately, like Zhongli knows he would. Maybe this is abusing his power a little bit, but he knows Xiao can’t decline a favour that involves both him and Barbatos. 

“I need to return to Liyue Harbour,” Zhongli says. 

“I will send Barbatos your way,” Xiao says, and disappears in a plume of smoke.

Chapter Text

Zhongli promptly arrives back at Liyue Harbor. Lumine and Paimon are there already, pouring over a map, but they snap to attention when they see him.

“Hello,” Lumine says. The map is of Liyue’s topography, and several points have been marked out. Just from a cursory glance, Zhongli can tell they’re the approximate locations of the monuments of Ancient Liyue. They’re pretty common adventuring haunts for seasoned travellers, and he’s sure Lumine can handle herself (and Paimon).

“Where to first, Zhongli?” Paimon asks.

“Hm,” Zhongli says. “The first step in our preparations shall be to obtain some prize Noctilucous Jade worthy of a deity.”

They head to Jade Mystery, a store with a strange gimmick betting on geodes, and Zhongli enquires about his Noctilucous Jade. “Of radiant grade at the very least,” he acquiesces, because as much as he doesn’t think Rex Lapis deserves such extravagance for a fake and troublesome funeral, it is a matter of the archons after all. And it’s Fatui money being redistributed into the Liyue economy, so Zhongli tries to see the rational side of things.

“I see,” Shitou says, rubbing his chin. “I have some here for your perusal…” He presents three pieces of jade, well-polished.

“These three pieces really do look pretty, not like the ones you usually dig up...” Paimon muses. “But how do we pick? Should we just grab one and go?”

Lumine inclines her head. “What do you think, Mr. Zhongli?”

“Oh? You want me to decide?” Zhongli says. He stares at the three Jades. They’re of similar quality, he supposes. If it was a real funeral for his dearly beloved father for whom he would want to pull no stops for, he’d simply get all three. Unfortunately, Zhongli wants to be petty, which means he’ll have to settle for just purchasing one. 

“Evaluating the quality of Noctilucous Jade is indeed very tricky. As crude ore, there is little difference in texture, lustrousness, and internal pattern between good and bad jade. Only after the item made using Noctilucous Jade has taken shape, will you be able to see whether it is up to par or not.”

“Woah,” Paimon says. “So how can you tell?”

Zhongli hums. “Noctilucous Jade of excellent quality would have superior Pyro affinity. In other words, the bluer and brighter the luster of the ore under high temperature, the higher its quality. While we add the high temperatures using Pyro, we can use Hydro to reinforce it from within. This way, the samples will not disintegrate immediately.”

Not that Rex Lapis deserved high quality, not-fake Noctilucous Jade for his high quality, not-fake funeral. Maybe Zhongli should suggest using a mediocre piece of jade instead? Perhaps it may coax his father to "come back to life" to lecture him about the propriety of pettiness?

But Paimon and Lumine have already turned back to Shitou, cajoling him to give them small samples of the ore for testing. "You know so much, Mr Zhongli!" Paimon says, clapping her hands.

...Oh, well, since they already got the jade silvers for testing. Getting for one variety of jade instead of all three was already a sufficient downgrade, anyways.

And then suddenly they’re in Mondstadt. If Zhongli knew his travels for the day would take him here, he may not have needed to send Xiao after all.

Also. Lumine can… teleport. How handy. There is so much Zhongli has yet to learn about outlanders.

Zhongli stands there for all of three minutes before he feels it - a whistling wind that he hasn’t heard in a long time, but immediately drenches him in familiarity. Zhongli swallows. The breeze picks up, a few stray leaves flutter by his foot. And then a crystalfly descends from the trees, flitting in between the branches.

Zhongli casts a glance at Lumine and Paimon. Lumine is engaged with keeping the hilichurls away, and Paimon is hovering over the pot, yelling updates about the Jades every so often. They should be fine on their own for a bit.

He follows the crystalfly, deeper into the woods, past some trees, into a clearing…

And then Barbatos appears before him in a flurry of feathers. Bright teal, brimming with pure anemo energy, bursting with the rich floral scent of grass and dandelions and cecilia petals.

“Zhongli!” He says, arms outstretched. “My little dragon!” 

“I’m older than you,” Zhongli says, before he’s pulled into Barbatos’s arms and crushed under an impossibly strong grip.

“I heard the news,” Barbatos coos. “My poor dear! My condolences.”

“He’s not actually dead,” Zhongli manages, while the air is being squeezed out of him.

“Oh, don’t worry,” Barbatos says, chipper. “He will be once I’m done with him! Why waste the funeral?”

“Oh, so you know?” Zhongli relaxes. Of course Barbatos would know. Whatever plan Father had concocted, surely he would have consulted the Anemo Archon.

“Well, I don’t know his plans, per say,” Barbatos says - oh, what? “But I know he’s not dead! These kinds of things are delicate, you see - we have a connection, archon to archon. Even if I don’t have my gnosis anymore, I can still tell these things! Ehe.”

“Oh,” Zhongli says. That makes sense. Their connection to Celestia would surely be stronger than- “Wait, what?”

“Ehe,” Barbatos says.

“Young Master,” Xiao greets. Oh, Zhongli hadn’t noticed him. Or had he just arrived? Xiao has a cecilia flower in his hair - Zhongli politely doesn’t mention it.

“Hello Xiao,” Zhongli croaks out.

Barbatos finally releases him. “Thanks for letting me steal Xiao for a moment,” he gushes. “I see you’ve met Lumine and Paimon. They’re a wonderful pair, aren’t they? Great fun, like-”

“Barbatos,” Zhongli says firmly, refusing to be distracted. “What were you saying about your gnosis?”

“Ah, haha, ehe,” Barbatos says. “It was perhaps taken - borrowed - given by magnanimous me to my dear Rosalyne-”

“The Eight Harbinger of the Fatui attacked him,” Xiao says.

“La Signora?” Zhongli says, surprised. “Whatever for?”

“Something that neither of you need to worry about!” Barbatos says, laughing nervously. “She was here to pass a message from dear ol’ Tsaritsa. Archon business, you see, nothing you two kids need to be too concerned over.”

“I’m older than you,” Zhongli gripes, again.

“Lord Barbatos,” Xiao protests.

“Is my father’s ‘death’ related to this so-called archon business?” Zhongli demands. “Then I think I have the right to know about it!”

“Oh, I wouldn’t know, really,” Barbatos says hurriedly. “Your old man and I - it’s not like we’re on talking terms or anything. He didn’t even tell me about his monumental, historical, stone-shattering plans to fake his death! Not that I was expecting him to. He probably didn’t even know I was awake. I’m not hurt by it at all.”

“Surely father would have known you were awake,” Zhongli insists. “Since you know he’s not dead. Are you sure he didn’t leave any signs? Any hints as to what his plan may be?”

“Of course not,” Barbatos says. “I told you, we’re not on talking terms.”

“But you’re his oldest friend!” Zhongli says. If Barbatos didn’t even have a clue, then who would? “He lo-”

“Zhongli,” Barbatos says, and the word suddenly strikes Zhongli like a sharply strung chord, jolting him into silence. Next to them, Xiao stiffens, summoning his polearm on instinct.

Barbatos blinks, eyes wide, then looks almost contrite. He pats Zhongli’s shoulder. His gaze softens, but all he says is, “it’s been a long time.”

Zhongli swallows. “Right.”

Barbatos hovers on his feet, and he sweeps Zhongli’s bangs to the side to plant a kiss on his forehead. His fingers are cool, fluttering like feathers. 

“Whatever Morax’s plans are…” Barbatos says, teal eyes glittering, “he must have a reason for not telling you. I know he trusts you. As do I.”

All Zhongli can do is nod numbly. At times like this he is abruptly, shockingly reminded that despite his age - he’s older than Barbatos by a good century or two, and he’s older than all the other archons of the other five nations - and despite the knowledge he’s gained over thousands of years, Archonhood is a burden beyond anything else he could possibly comprehend. 

“Now,” Barbatos says. He touches the ground, and then the air becomes lighter. Xiao hesitantly dispels his polearm, looking guilty. Zhongli straightens up.

“I have… things to do,” Barbatos says, humming non-committedly, hands making vague gestures in the air. “Things. Yes. And you have things to do too, don’t you, Zhongli?”

And then a breeze carries over the voices of Lumine and Paimon. 

“Zhongli, where are you?” “Oh no, did he get kidnapped by a hilichurl when we weren’t looking?”

“Ah,” Zhongli winces.

Chapter Text

“Zhongli! Where did you go?” Paimon floats in front of him, hands on her hips. “We were looking for you.”

“I apologize,” Zhongli coughs. “I decided to step away from the battle to catch a breath of fresh air, but I was unfortunately too engrossed in… the flight patterns of a crystalfly.”

“Crystalflies? What’s so interesting about that?” Paimon scolds, but behind her Lumine simply graces him with a thoughtful expression.

Zhongli coughs. “What are the results of the experiment?”

Paimon brightens. “Right! The Noctilucous Jade that shines the brightest is the third one, definitely! It was sooooo bright!”

They head back to the Jade Mystery, and Paimon cheerfully relays the order back to Shitou. Who, upon realizing the jade is for the “late” Rex Lapis, had immediately taken half off the price for their box of Jade.

“If not for our Lord's protection, this city wouldn't exist as it does now,” Shitou insists. “No proprietor could earn money off such a thing.”

Zhongli frowns, crossing his arms. The “death” of Rex Lapis leaves Liyue in a vulnerable state. Granted, lands have been peaceful for a long while, but that is in part due to Rex Lapis’s powerful influence. With him gone, who knows what enemies may resurface to challenge Liyue again? What could possibly be father’s goal, if he was willing to risk the safety of Liyue like this?

They bring the box of Jade to Yujing Terrace, where the Rite of Parting is slated to be held. Zhongli mentally notes to contact a jewelsmith to shape them into the implements that they will need, and… thinks about going to find Childe. 

Ah, Childe. Now, this added a few layers of complexity to the situation.

The Fatui of Snezhnaya are not the only international organisation spread around the corners of Teyvat, but they are certainly the most infamous, and the most… unruly, for the lack of a better word. Liyuen diplomats and Qixing spies are stationed in every nation, and there is no trouble from them, no nations reporting them as nuisances. The Sumeran scholars or the Mondstadt Knights or the many other international visitors never cause trouble in Liyue. On the other hand, all complaints to the Millelith about non-Liyuen residents are about the Fatui of Snezhnaya, loitering around the countryside and causing a general disturbance.

Now, Zhongli considers himself an open-minded person. He does not discriminate against a person, just because they are a citizen of Snezhnaya, or a child of the Abyss, or a member of the eleven most feared Fatui Elite mercenaries. 

Except, now they have slighted Barbatos. Zhongli considers that much as a declaration of war, despite not being in authority to declare any sort of war in the first place. 

If Zhongli had found Childe’s presence in Liyue strange before, he found it very suspicious now, coinciding fittingly with the actions of… what did Barbatos call her? Rosalyne? Was that her name? What was Childe’s real name?

It’s been a long day, and they’ve had a rather late start, so they decide to part for the night. He bids them farewell and finds himself walking to the Northland Bank.

Nadia, the night guard on duty, raises a hand in a wave. “Hi, Zhongli. Here to see Master Childe?”

“Is he in?” Zhongli inquires politely.

Nadia shrugs. “Didn’t see him walk in, but he may have taken another entrance. You can ask Ekaterina. He should be back by now.”

Childe had once admitted he likes getting into the Northland Bank’s private quarters via window, just to give his staff a heart attack. “A learning opportunity,” he would wag his finger. “They should remain vigilant at all times!”

(The day after, Vlad had tearfully confessed to almost stabbing Childe on reflex. “Not that I could have,” he admits, after a bout of dramatics. “After all, he’s the eleventh…”

Zhongli waited.

“The, uh, eleventh… manager of the bank.”

“Of course,” Zhongli had agreed pleasantly.)

Ekaterina looks up from her work when Zhongli walks in. “Would you like to make a deposit?” She teases.

Zhongli flushes. His terrible saving habits were no secret. He’d spent a really long time as an adepti living in Jueyun Karst, with no need for material possessions. Occasionally visiting Xiao, who he finds out has a sizable sum of mora from grateful travellers he’s inadvertently saved, but has no need for them as Wangshu settles his meals and lodgings pro bono. Whenever he had gotten curious about Liyue Harbour, he would live under Ganyu’s very sizable and seemingly limitless wallet, which did not do well for his mora management skills. 

Standing on his own limited supply of cash was a rather… recent development. Hu Tao always complained she didn’t know how he survived, and let him stay at the top floor of the parlour, as long as he didn’t get weirded out by all the bodies a room away. He assured her he didn’t, and offered his services as a night guard, if she so required. In response, she had tried to stab him with her polearm.

“I’m just here to see if Childe is in,” Zhongli says.

“Oh, I’m afraid he’s not in yet,” Ekaterina says. “He went to collect a debt, you see. These debts… tricky business, you know.”

“Of course,” Zhongli says. He does not know.

“Mhm. Can I take a message?”

“No, it’s alright.” Zhongli says. “I’ll come back another day.”

“I’ll just send him your way when he arrives,” Ekaterina says. “Oh, in the morning, not to worry. If I tell him now, he’ll just rush over to wake you.”

(Childe had done that exactly once. It had been embarrassing for everyone.)

“Sure,” Ekataerina says. “And Mr Zhongli?” 

“Yes?”

She’s smiling at him with her lips pulled in a thin line. “Take care, hmm?”

Zhongli pauses in his footsteps. Outside the door, Nadia has her head tilted to the side, her eyes glinting behind her mask. Ekaterina’s fingers float over her desk.

“You two as well,” Zhongli says politely.

Chapter Text

Lumine and Paimon meet him the next day, bright and early, in the Liyue marketplace. There are twigs in Lumine’s hair. She seems quite refreshed. Paimon is munching on a sunsettia.

“So what’s next, Zhongli?” Paimon chirps between bites. 

Badgering Childe for more details on his Fatui schemes. Finding Father and interrogating  him. Writing a strongly worded letter to the Tsaritsa. Not planning a funeral for his not-dead father and also his god because that felt heretical, blasphemous and unfilial at the same time. 

“Zhongli?” Lumine prompts.

Zhongli just sighs. “Perfumes.” A bit traditional, but Father was always a traditionalist. 

Not that Zhongli cared about what Father wanted for his not-funeral. Hmph. 

…But he supposes if it's a plot that involves both Barbatos and the Tsaritsa… and possibly the other members of the seven…

Barbatos’s words pointed towards a plot bigger than Liyue, most likely bigger than Zhongli and the other adepti. No doubt way beyond their station to meddle in. Speaking of, he should meet with the other adepti soon to inform them of the possible ties to Snezhnaya and Mondstadt. (And to inform them that Barbatos has awoken. Maybe they can invite him over for tea.)

…Well, he still is a little hurt that he's left out of it. By his own father, nonetheless.

But archon business was archon business.

“...Alright,” says Lumine.

“Is he okay? He’s acting kind of weird,” says Paimon in a faux whisper.

“Shush!” Says Lumine.

“I am feeling fine,” Zhongli lies miserably. “There has just been a lot on my mind.”

“With the death of your god, and all.” Lumine says. “That’s understandable.”

“Cheer up, Zhongli!” Paimon says. “We’ll plan the best funeral ever, so that- ow!”

“Perfumes?” Lumine asks again.

“Right,” Zhongli nods. “Perfumes made from silk flowers would be best." He pauses the moment he says it. The best… perhaps he should think of the worst ingredients possible for a perfume? Perhaps Violetgrass flowers, used mainly in medicinal herbs and tastes bitter? Or the Qingxin, who wears a faint scent because of the harsh winds on the peaks where it grows? 

Or perhaps he's not thinking creatively enough? Zhongli tries to imagine what an eccentric creationist like Hu Tao or Xiangling might say. Jueyun Chili perfume has a bit of a… unique ring to it?

"That's so weird!" Paimon chirps. "Offering the Noctilucous Jade made sense since Rex Lapis is the God of Geo after all, but I wouldn't expect Rex Lapis to like perfumes."

"Looks like there's a lot we don't know about the gods," Lumine says mildly. 

"Ah," Zhongli says. Now that's a bittersweet sentiment. "You're right, Rex Lapis is not a god you would expect to carry a fondness for perfumes. This tradition can be attributed more to… the God of Dust."

"The God of Dust?" Lumine asks.

"Guizhong," Zhongli breathes, the name tugging at his heartstrings and at the side of his lips. His mother. "She was one of Liyue's gods of old. She and Rex Lapis were… partners." 

And they had a child together, Zhongli does not say. It’s not very common knowledge, since Zhongli was born in the heart of the archon war, and the adepti had kept his existence a secret to keep him safe. Even after the war ended, Father had not disclosed their relation, and so Zhongli had lived on as one of Liyue’s many elusive adepti, hidden away in seclusion. 

Lumine and Paimon had been watching him in silent enrapturement. Finally, Lumine says, "so we're getting the silk flower perfumes to honor Rex Lapis's wife."

"Yes, we- ah, yes," Zhongli says. Suddenly the thought of bastardising this tradition feels wrong. 

“Oh, goodie!” Paimon says, clapping her hands. “Where should we start?”

“We know the merchant who sells silk flowers,” Lumine says.

“Oh, oh! I know him too!” Paimon spins in a circle. “Come on, Zhongli, let’s take you to Bolai!”

Zhongli hangs back as Lumine and Paimon (mostly Paimon) haggle with Bolai. It turns out that the man has in stock three different varieties of silk flowers, at which Lumine and Paimon turn towards him.

“So, Zhongli, which flower should we pick?” Paimon hums, hand tapping at her chin. “Any more experiments we need to conduct? Do we have to boil it again-”

“Fate’s yearning,” Zhongli answers.

Lumine and Paimon blink at him. “Wow, that was a quick decision,” Paimon says. “O-okay then! A bouquet of Fate’s Yearning then, boss!”

Zhongli feels Lumine observing him curiously as the merchant wraps up the flowers. In similar fashion to Shitou, Bolai makes a remark about Rex Lapis and offers the flowers free of charge. Just as well, because Zhongli has seem to forgotten his wallet again. Shopping without Childe by his side is such a hassle.

“Where to now, Zhongli?” Paimon asks after that. “How do we turn these into perfume? Is there a perfume maker in Liyue?”

There is one, in fact, and Zhongli has heard much about her skills. However…

“No need,” Zhongli says. “I can do it.”

“Wow, you sure know a lot,” Paimon is saying, as she hovers over his shoulder. Lumine is on his other side, leaning over the crafting bench.

Zhongli slowly works the mortar and pestle around the petals of the silk flowers in his hands.

He has fleeting memories of his mother with her hair pulled back over her ears, Zhongli on one knee and Ganyu on another, humming as she pulled the scents from the flowers. Ganyu always had steadier hands than he did, so Mother would hold Zhongli’s when he tried to crush the petals. They would try all sorts of combinations of things even if some came our horrid ("let the children play, Morax," Mother would chide, whenever Father wandered by and tried to make little tweaks to the recipes. "Let them be creative, they'll figure it out!) - Zhongli picking up all manners of plants and seeds and leaves to go into the mixing pot, Ganyu trailing behind him with armfuls of Qingxin flowers. Mother would laugh, her voice like tinkling bells.

Her favourite to wear on her wrists were the silk flowers growing around the mountains. They had a subtle yet enduring scent, and were rarer than its exuberant cousins. She would always thread a few into Zhongli’s hair after he’d picked them for her - and then he’d spend the rest of the day running away from little Ganyu’s grubby hands and her tendency to eat from his hair. 

There was neither time nor space for what should have been the grand funeral she deserved, not in the middle of a war. Instead, they had a gathering in a field of glaze lillies - a few talismans carved out of Noctilucous Jade, a few sticks of incense, and a gift from Barbatos - a kite weaved from stretched silk and feathers (he had said something about freedom and flight. Father had thanked him.) 

Father had been solemn when he tipped a bottle of Mother’s perfume onto his hands. Then he’d doused Zhongli’s sleeve in it, and emptied the rest over her burial place. 

Then there was the next funeral. And then the next. And then rain washed away the lingering scent of silk flowers and replaced the air with the tangy taste of copper and bitter ash. He’d brought one of Mother’s last few perfume bottles along to hold, and - in perhaps a fit of impulse - scattered it over the soil to chase away the smell of death.

Father had rubbed the last few drops of that perfume into his cheeks and for a moment Zhongli imagined Mother wrapped around him, her sleeve fluttering in the breeze.

Then, he supposed, tradition stuck.

“Zhongli?” Lumine says gently. “I think those silk flowers are all ground down already.”

“Ah?” Zhongli blinks. “It appears that they are.”

“We’ve been calling your name for ages!” Paimon says. “Why did you- oof!” Lumine must have jabbed her.

“Apologies, I got lost in my thoughts,” Zhongli says. “Now we have extracted the silk flower essence, the next step is to dissolve it in water for the perfume. We require heat for this process.”

“We don’t have to go all the way to Mondstadt this time, right?” Paimon says. “I don’t think the hilichurls will be happy to see us again.”

Zhongli laughs. “I don’t think we will require such a large pot for this purpose. Perhaps we can see if Wanmin Restaurant will lend us their stove for a few minutes.”

Chapter Text

Chef Mao is working the counter through the breakfast crowd when he arrives, and he spares Zhongli a cursory nod before hollering to the back of the kitchen.

“Xiangling, customers!”

The young chef pops out from the door. “Hello, welcome to- ah, Mr Zhongli! And… Lumine and Paimon! Hi!”

“Hello, Xiangling,” Lumine greets. Paimon waves.

“I didn’t know you all knew each other!” Xiangling dusts off the front of her apron. “It’s good to see you, Lumine and Paimon! What are you guys doing all the way from Mondstadt? And hi to you too, Mr Zhongli, so rare to see you here this early in the morning and without Childe!”

“Is it?” Zhongli muses aloud. He doesn’t stop by at Wanmin for breakfast, but does he spend that much time with Childe?

“We’re here for the Rite of Descension,” Paimon says. “And, ah, the Rite of Parting now, I guess.”

“A-ah,” Xiangling falters. Her gaze flicks from Paimon to Zhongli. “That’s… ah, well… sad…”

“We were hoping to borrow your stove to mix some perfumes for the Rite!” Paimon continues. “It’d only be a few short minutes!”

“A-ah, sure?” Xiangling says. “There’s a smaller stove in the back that we usually use for prep work, if you like.” 

Lumine turns to him for confirmation. Zhongli nods. “That will be sufficient.”

Xiangling ushers them to the back of the restaurant. She’s still looking at him oddly, but Zhongli chalks that up to the lack of one ginger companion. “Have the, uh, preparations for the Rite gone smoothly?”

Not at all. “As well as they ought to, I suppose,” Zhongli says. 

“Zhongli is super duper knowledgeable about everything!” Paimon says. “He knows all about what to do for the Rite!”

“I-is that so?” Xiangling coughs. “T-thats good, then! Then you’ll have everything prepared for the Rite in no time!” 

“Indeed,” Zhongli says, running through a mental tally of the things they still need to get. The cleansing bell, incense, glaze lilies…

Xiangling straightens up. “I better get back to work! You all can just let me know if you need any more help!” She dashes off, strangely flustered. The busy crowd must be getting to her.

They watch the simmering pot for a while, before the nostalgic aroma of Fate’s Yearning starts wafting around the room. This brings them a new visitor - not Xiangling, nor Chef Mao, but…

“Guoba,” Zhongli greets. Marchosius, the God of the Stove of old, who once led the people to Liyue Harbour and brought light and warmth into their homes, and let Zhongli and Ganyu ride on his back when the floods came up to their knees. Now he was retired and spent his days tottering around the happy bustle of Wanmin, and gallivanting around Liyue with Xiangling on her ingredient haunts. Zhongli couldn’t think of a more suited retirement for him.

Guoba waddles over to the perfume. Zhongli lowered the bowl to let him see, and Guoba leaned forward, sniffing.

“Guoba, that’s not food!” Paimon says.

“What?” Xiangling’s head pokes into the back room. “Oh, Guoba! Don’t bother them while they’re working!”

“No, it’s quite alright,” Zhongli says. Guoba pats him on the knee with a soft paw. He knows the significance of the perfume, but has he heard about what happened to Rex Lapis? Was he present for the rite, or did he pick it up from word of mouth around the lunch rush gossip? 

Zhongli would very much like to reassure him that his father was merely… pretending to be dead, but he couldn’t very well do so with so many people in earshot. 

Guoba trills at him. It doesn’t really mean anything that can be reasonably translated to speech, but it sounds comforting all the same. Zhongli trills back. In all honesty, he missed the old Marchosius who taught him how to fold meat buns and then hit him on the head when he tried to eat them raw, but Zhongli was just happy to see Guoba now.

“Woah,” Paimon says. “They’re communicating.”

Zhongli wonders if it would be weird to pat Guoba on the head. He’s technically Zhongli’s senior, after all.

Xiangling has no qualms and pats Guoba on the head. Zhongli’s jealous. “That smells great, Mr Zhongli! Although, um, I think it’s boiling over a bit?”

Oops. Zhongli quickly removes the pot from the flames and fans it.

“Would you, um, like some gloves, Mr Zhongli?” Xiangling says. Lumine and Paimon are staring.

“No thank you,” Zhongli says. “I can handle the heat.” No need to bother Xiangling with unnecessary work.

“Oh, I get it!” Paimon says. "Are you using your geo vision to counteract the heat reaction? Since the element of geo makes other elements inert.”

Zhongli stares blankly at her. “Oh.” He looks down at the red-hot pot. “Yes. That is what I’m doing.”

“That would be a useful skill to learn,” Lumine says, more to herself than Zhongli. “I always cool the food down with anemo. But one wrong move and I risk spreading the fire everywhere.”

Zhongli wonders if it would actually work. He tries. A pyro-infused geo crystal pops up by his hand.

“Wow,” Xiangling says.

Zhongli coughs and pockets the crystal. He doesn’t have any use for it, and it’d probably dissipate after a while. “We would usually wait for the perfume to cool down… but since it is already cooled by geo, we can pour it straight into a container.” Zhongli doesn’t have a replica of one of Mother’s perfume bottles on hand, but any container should suffice. It doesn’t quite matter to Zhongli anymore since glass doesn’t last 3000 years.

"So, we've finished another step in our preparations,” Paimon claps. “What's next?”

Next… Zhongli hums. There were two things he would have to do, but he supposes they could be done simultaneously, if… “I would like the two of you to help me borrow the Cleansing Bell.”

“Cleansing bell?” Paimon says.

“Indeed,” Zhongli nods. “At present, Granny - ah, Madame Ping is the guardian of the Cleansing Bell. She lives near Yujing Terrace. If you ask her, she will know what to do.”

Paimon hums. “You’re not going to come with us?”

Zhongli coughs. “Ah, I have certain reasons why I cannot be there in person.” He has to meet the other adepti promptly to inform them of the not-so-dismal fate of Rex Lapis, and Granny already knows of it (since she was the first person he told), so there was no need to see her again. Granny potentially teasing him about Childe in front of Lumine and Paimon (especially them obviously prejudiced against the Fatui) was completely unrelated. 

At their suspicious looks, he adds, “please do this for me.” 

“Alright…” Lumine says slowly. “Come on, Paimon.”

Zhongli watches them go, then turns to Xiangling, who is still absently patting Guoba’s head. “Xiangling?”

“A-ah? Yes, Mr Zhongli!”

“Can I get one almond tofu and one - ah, no, two portions of universal peace to go, please?”

“Oh, yes, coming right up!”

Zhongli gathers up his things and heads to the counter to pay, before realizing he’s forgotten his wallet again. He looks sheepishly at Chef Mao. “Do you mind if-”

Chef Mao chortles. “No problem, Zhongli, we’ll put it on your tab!”

Zhongli blinks at him. “I have a tab?” All his previous missed payments were always billed to Wangsheng, and Hu Tao always nagged at him when she signed it off his paycheck.

“That nice young man of yours started one after the third- no, fourth time you brought him here,” Chef Mao says, making Zhongli fluster. How embarrassing, but not potentially dangerous. He’s sure that his forgetfulness about bringing his wallet would not pose any threat towards national security, which is a relief, especially if Childe turned out to be evil. Zhongli hopes he is not evil, he quite likes him.

Xiao had promptly picked him up from the outskirts of the harbour and teleported them to where the other adepti were waiting outside of Cloud Retainer’s abode. Then he disappears again… only to pop back into view with one hand around Ganyu, her hair ruffled, papers flying everywhere.

“Xiao!” She shrieks.

“Apologies,” Xiao says. “Young Master called for all of us.”

“I was in a meeting!”

“Yes,” Xiao says. “You are in one now.”

“Sorry,” Zhongli says, offering her one of Wanmin’s takeout boxes. 

Her eyes widen. “Young Master! I couldn’t-”

“I bet you are skipping meals because of this whole crisis,” Zhongli scolds. “Which is unnecessary, because-”

“-eat both portions at once!” Which is a lie, because Zhongli has seen her eat three.

“Listen to A-Li,” Cloud Retainer frets, “you have grown so thin-”

“-besides, like I was saying, your worry is unnecessary because-”

“-how can I stop and rest and eat when Lord Morax is dead! We must work hard to catch the killer-”

Xiao sends Zhongli a helpless look.

“-don’t eat and speak at the same time, Ganyu, you’ll choke-”

“Did you call us here for that reason, Zhongli? Are there any leads?”

“-the Qixing is holding meeting after meeting-”

“-we should just get to the bottom of this and squash Liyue Harbour-”

“Rex Lapis isn’t dead!”

The mountain falls silent. The adepti gape at Zhongli, wordless.

Then they explode again.

“Did that traveller lie to us?!” “Preposterous! Treason!” “That’s not possible! I was at the rite, I saw the exuvia fall with my own two eyes!”

“The exuvia is fake!” Zhongli hollers. Everyone turns to him. “Well it’s - it’s the real exuvia, but an empty shell! The Geo Gnosis is not present in it, and no traces of elemental energy can be found! I have reason to believe that my father faked his death for a reason, but,” he exchanges a look with Xiao, “I’m not sure why, yet. At present, I’m continuing with the process for the Rite to not raise suspicion.”

“Lord Morax has faked his death before in battles to throw enemies off guard,” Mountain Shaper says. “Perhaps he has detected a recent threat to Liyue?”

“I have checked all the seals around Liyue,” Xiao says. “There have been no changes or disruptions.”

“In that case…” Moon Carver says, “I suggest we keep this on the down low for now. Perhaps we can go over what we know so far to see if Lord Morax has left us any more clues.”

The resounding conclusion, after long moments of discussion was… no, they were sadly clue-empty. Zhongli sighs. 

“It’s alright,” Moon Carver says. “We can continue to monitor the situation and be prepared to take action swiftly.”

“Don’t fret, Young Master!” Ganyu says. True to his predictions, her takeout box is empty. Xiao carefully stacks his with hers and destroys it with a crackle of anemo. “We will work hard to get to the bottom of this!”

Chapter Text

Lumine and Paimon meet him in the afternoon with the Cleansing Bell. 

“Granny was sad you couldn’t stop by,” Paimon reports. “She says you should come over for tea sometime!” She clears her throat and tries to slow her speech. “If you have the time, you can come over for tea. I don't have much to offer, but you can always count on an old lady for a pot of tea.”

Zhongli laughs. “That tone does not suit you.”

“Ahem!” Paimon says. “Anyways, what's the next step in our preparations?”

“Hm,” Zhongli says, “well, next, we need to purchase kites.”

“Kites?” Lumine says. “How odd.”

“Kites play various symbolic roles in Liyue’s rituals,” Zhongli explains. “This tradition actually started back in the archon war, when Barbatos-”

“Yahoo!”

What the- Zhongli whirls around. “Venti?!”

“Zhongli!” Venti squeals… and then tackles him. Zhongli goes down.

Paimon shrieks. Lumine jumps. Passers-by in Liyue Harbour swivel. 

“What are you doing here?” Zhongli says, as Venti beams down at him. 

“I came to visit!” Venti giggles. “And to watch the show! This kind of news is a buzz everywhere, you know! Maybe I’ll even compose a ballad for such a historical moment!”

“Tone deaf bard, you can’t just say that!” Paimon stomps her feet in the air. 

“Ehe, what did I say?” Venti says, faux innocently. He turns to Zhongli, and winks.

“Hey, we saw that!”

“Anyways,” Venti says. He hops off Zhongli and pulls him to his feet. “I do have a reason for being here, you know!” 

Zhongli looks at him hopefully. Was he here to yell at father? “What is it?”

“A gift!” Venti says. And then pulls out…

“Pfft.”

“Is…” Paimon gapes. Even Lumine looks surprised. “...that…”

A kite. In the form of what is-

“...supposed to be Rex Lapis?! Tone deaf bard!”

“Pffffft.” Zhongli is trying to stifle his giggles. Lumine looks over, astonished, as Paimon continues berating Venti. Floating between them, hovering over a ball of anemo in Venti’s hands, is…

…Kite Lapis in all his glory. Father in his exuvia form, except that he now resembles more of a misshapen lump of a worm instead of the majestic dragon he is supposed to be, with a puffy rounded body and a flat snout, and little nubs in place of geo-shattering claws. And best of all, two little googly eyes in place of his father’s piercing amber stare.

“Pffffffftttttt.” Zhongli says. 

“Do you like it?” Venti grins. “I spent all day on it, you know!”

Zhongli can only nod. He fears that if he were to speak, his cheeks would split open from holding back his laughter.

“Um…” Lumine and Paimon look quickly between Zhongli, to Venti, to Kite Lapis, then back to Zhongli. “Are you sure this is okay, Zhongli?” Paimon prods Kite Lapis sceptically. “This seems… I don’t know… and you seem… I don’t know…”

“I- pftt, think this is - pft - suitable,” Zhongli manages. 

“But,” Paimon starts, and falls silent when Lumine elbows her. 

“If Zhongli says it’s okay then I guess it should be fine,” says Lumine, although she looks like she doesn't quite believe her own words.

It was actually the opposite of fine. Father would be pissed. Which makes it all the more wonderful and Zhongli is delighted to honour such a tradition. After all, the usage of kites in funerals started as an offering from the anemo archon. There would be no more fitting implement than yet another gift from Barbatos himself! 

“Oops, hehe, is the ground shaking or was that just me?” Venti says.

“I’m gonna- pft - put this kite at Yujing Terrace immediately,” Zhongli says. If he has to see it for another second he’s going to lose his composure in the middle of the street, where people are already staring unabashedly at them. Hu Tao is going to be insufferable.

“Allow me!” Venti says brightly. “I’ll deliver it to Yujing Terrace on your behalf. But I believe you have other people to entertain, and I’m afraid I don’t really wanna stick around for that part. But I’ll see you all later!” And then he dashes off before Zhongli can ask what he means, and then another familiar voice appears behind him.

“Hi, Zhongli!” Childe says a little bit too brightly. “And Lumine, and Paimon, my good friends!”

“We aren’t your friends, Fatui!” Paimon wags a finger.

Childe’s eye twitches. “Was that a friend just now, Zhongli? You two seemed… awfully close! Haha!”

“It’s none of your business who he is!” Paimon says, the same time Zhongli says, “yes, he is a good friend of mine. He was here to deliver a gift.”

“That masterfully crafted kite he was holding?” Childe says. “What a… unique present! That does look like something my siblings would make, hahaha! Are you sure you don’t want another kite? Perhaps one more professionally crafted? Not that I didn’t like his kite or anything, but a trained… entrepreneur like I am can always tell apart the craftsmen from the hobbyists. If you would like a kite with a more professional make, I can always buy you one!”

“No need,” Zhongli says, amused. Is Childe suddenly invested in the Rite of Parting? “I can assure you that the kite he procured is suitable enough for my needs.”

“I hate to agree with Fatui, but Childe might be right,” Paimon sulks. “Are you super duper sure you want that one, Zhongli? 

“Positive.” Perhaps if Father gets pissed enough, he’ll reappear to fight Barbatos and this will all be over. Zhongli should get Barbatos a front row seat to the Rite of Parting.

Childe’s eye twitches. “You’re the boss!”

“No, Master Hu is.” Zhongli pats him on the shoulder. “Well then, since we've purchased our kites without incident, there's no need to take a break before moving to the next step in our preparations. The Rite of Parting requires helping hands as well as materials. We should be able to find some people near the harbour.”

“Oh, busy again?” Childe says. “And if you’re hiring people… let me guess, you need money?”

“Indeed,” Zhongli nods. “But not to worry, a friend has provided me with some mora.” Ganyu had thrust her wallet vaguely in his direction and told him to keep the change when eating. Zhongli trusted that to mean to take the whole thing.

“A friend, again?” Childe says. “HAHAHAHA Zhongli you sure have some interesting friends! Boy, I really do want to meet them!”

Very unlikely, since Ganyu hates him (she told him so very vehemently with Qingxin in her mouth and rice on her chopsticks, that the Fatui Harbinger was bad news and would Zhongli please stop hanging out with him, please, for his little sister who loves him very much, please stop?), Xiao seems to share her sentiments in more creative language, and Venti would probably want to stay far away from any potential gnosis-stealing Fatui Harbingers for a while. 

“That would likely not happen,” Zhongli says. Childe pouts at him.

“Ahem, we’re right here,” Paimon says.

“Yes,” Zhongli says, confused. They had not left.

“Well you should just take some extra mora in case anyways okay? You hold on to this, Lumine, you probably won't want to let Zhongli do the bargaining, if you know what I mean, hahahaha, alright see you!”

Zhongli, Lumine and Paimon watch Childe rush off.

“What a weirdo,” Paimon says.

They find three workers around the harbour. True to Childe’s words, Lumine steps in at every turn and manages to bargain for a discount for their rates. Zhongli is impressed. There is so much he still has to learn about spending. 

Paimon tells him to keep Ganyu’s mora for himself, saying that spending Fatui money would - well, it won’t quite make up for whatever Signora did to Venti, but it would make Paimon feel better. Lumine interjects that this isn’t about Paimon’s feelings, as she continues spending Fatui money. Zhongli can’t find it in himself to disagree.

Eventually, they head back to the Northland Bank to return the excess. 

“Wow, I thought for sure you’d have spent it all!” Childe says. “Good work on the savings, Lumine. And Zhongli! Hi! Meet any friends on the way?”

“I did not stop to socialise,” Zhongli says. “Is everything alright, Childe? You seem flustered.”

“HAHAHHA flustered? Me? No, of course not!” Childe says. He’s leaning against one of the pillars, and if Zhongli didn't know any better, he'd say Childe looked vaguely out of breath. Zhongli casts a glance at Ekaterina, who’s staring at them. She meets Zhongli’s curious gaze, and takes great effort to make sure he sees her roll her eyes even from behind her mask.

Chapter Text

The next stop is Bubu Pharmacy, to purchase everlasting incense. Burning incense is a traditional way to pay respects to the gods and adepti in Liyuen culture, Zhongli explains en route. Lumine nods attentively, and Paimon flits around them pointing out various stores and knick knacks and bright coloured hangings on the streetfront, reminding Zhongli very much of Barbatos on the occasions he chooses to fly around as a little wind sprite.

Then, along the harbour-

“Thank you for coming! Hope to see you at my next show!”

Xinyan! Zhongli perks up. Although it does seem like she’s ending her performance, which is a shame. Unless…

“Xinyan!” Zhongli calls, waving. Next to her is… “Yunjin!”

“Eh? Mr Zhongli?” Xinyan looks up. “Oh, hi! It’s great to see you again!”

“Mr Zhongli!” Yunjin waves as well. “You just missed a splendid performance. Xinyan was as fantastic as usual.”

“Aw, you’re making me blush.”

“Woah, was that you playing just now?” Paimon says. “I thought I heard some music, but it didn’t seem like anything from Liyue.”

“What you just heard, my friend, is rock and roll!” Xinyan pumps the air. Next to her, Yunjin claps politely. “You’re right in that it’s not traditional Liyue music, it’s actually from Fontaine. That’s why I’m here, to spread this art and love across the nation!”

“Woah, that's so cool," Paimon says. "What's your name?"

Right. Zhongli introduces Lumine and Paimon, and explains that they're on their way to purchase incense. At the mention of the Rite of Parting, the mood sobers up considerably. "Oh," Xinyan says, "it's just… so sad! Rex Lapis… gone! I don't believe it!"

"Truly a tragedy," Yunjin sobs, dabbing a handkerchief to the corner of her eyes. 

"Yes," Zhongli says, reminded of the very idea that popped into his head when he heard Xinyan play. "Speaking of-"

"Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no!" Xinyan yells. She's already backpedalling. Zhongli hasn't even said anything, what is she- "I'm not going to play at the Rite of Parting!" Ah, so she gets what he means.

But, "why not?"

"What?!" Paimon swivels around. "You want… that sort of music at the Rite?!"

"Yes," Zhongli says. "Xinyan is a very talented musician and her tunes are always vibrant and exciting." If Zhongli was going to have to suffer a fake funeral, he's going to get music that he likes.

"What the-" Paimon shakes her head. "Vibrant and exciting is not what a funeral should be! First the kite, and now this! What has gotten into you?"

"This isn't even the first time he's asked me to play at a funeral!" Xinyan says, hand clutched to her heart. "At first I thought it might have been one of Hu Tao's new marketing plans, but even she agreed it was inappropriate!"

"But your sound embodies the beating hearts and souls of the Liyue people," Zhongli says. 

Paimon stomps her foot in the air. "This. Is. A. Funeral!"

"Don't you have any other musicians, Mr Zhongli?" Yunjin interjects.

No, actually. Or- "I could always ask Venti."

Paimon shrieks, “the tone deaf bard?!"

Yunjin and Xinyan look aghast. "T-t-tone deaf?!"

"He's not actually tone deaf," Lumine says. "He's a very good musician, actually. Although he is from Mondstadt, can he play Liyuen traditional music?" 

"Yes," Zhongli says. "He can play anything." Even while very drunk, Zhongli recalls on one memorable occasion.

"Um,” Xinyan says, looking like she doesn’t believe him at all. “That’s great! But I’m definitely not the person you should ask to play at the Rite.”

Zhongli tries, “Xinyan-”

“I’d be super duper happy to play for you anytime else, really,” Xinyan says. “But for Lord Rex Lapis’s funeral? Or any funeral for that matter? Even… even Hu Tao thinks that’s too far!”
And that had been a rather surprising fact when Zhongli found out. He would have thought his eccentric boss with rather unorthodox funeral planning ideas would be supportive of a novel musician, but all she did was whack him over the head with a book and threatened to make him work overtime. 

Zhongli sighs. It seems like there would be no changing Xinyan’s mind, even for a momentous occasion such as this. “Alright, then, thank you for your time.”

“You seem really disappointed, Zhongli,” Paimon says. “You must really want Xinyan to play at the Rite of Parting, huh?”

“I think it would have been nice,” Zhongli says sadly. 

Paimon opens her mouth again, but they reach Bubu Pharmacy before she can ask anything else. “Huh, the reception is deserted. And it seems kinda spooky in here…”

Zhongli decides to hang back. It is always very funny when newcomers meet Qiqi for the first time. 

He watches in amusement as Paimon and Lumine discover Qiqi behind the counter, and enter into a baffling conversation with her about what she can or cannot do. Zhongli steps in to explain. “As a zombie, Qiqi is limited to acting within the confines of their orders. And somehow, in this case, the zombie issues her own orders to herself.” Qiqi is an incredibly special case that the adepti puzzled over greatly when they found her predicament. Ganyu keeps tabs on her to ensure her status, but Zhongli has been fond of dropping by to see her every once in a while. 

“My dear Qiqi, we didn't bring a prescription, I'm afraid. But we do hope that you can still help us find some Everlasting Incense.”

“Hmm…” Qiqi lifts her head and stares at him through her talisman. Zhongli is never really sure if she remembers who he really is, but he thinks that she must have at least some inkling, or at least a faint impression. “Okay then.”

“What?!” Paimon says. “How did you manage that?” 

“But,” Qiqi says, pushing herself up with on her tip toes to stare at Zhongli. “Qiqi helps you, you help Qiqi. Only fair.” Zhongli can only beam at her. She’s always cheeky with him when she recognizes him. 

Paimon crosses her arms. “Since when do customers need to do favours for customer service staff?”

And Qiqi instructs them to… find a Cocogoat. Zhongli squints at her. He is fairly certain that a Cocogoat does not exist… “This is the first I have ever heard of a creature called the Cocogoat,” he admits. Maybe he could ask the all-knowing reigning archon of Liyue, his father, about a potential new species - oh, wait, but he’s dead.

“What the heck is a Cocogoat?” Paimon says. “Where would we even find one?!”

Qiqi peers up at them. “What it looks like: don't know. Where to find it: don't know either. Where it came from: also don't know,” she helpfully reports.

“Thanks,” Paimon says.

“I may know where to start,” Zhongli muses. “Qiqi frequently goes to collect herbs out in the Liyue countryside. Perhaps we can start with one of those locations she frequently goes to, to see if there are any clues.”

Chapter Text

Zhongli manages to coax Qiqi into telling them more about the specific spots she goes out to. One of the locations that immediately catches his attention is… Mt. Tianheng, and the Guizhong Ballista.

“Let’s go there,” Zhongli says.

“Guizhong?” Paimon says. “Like Rex Lapis’s wife?”

“Yes, the very same,” Zhongli says. “Guizhong was a brilliant inventor of many mechanical devices to help with Liyue’s development in the past. The Guizhong Ballista is named after her. It is a kind of crossbow turret, designed to automatically fire at large monsters, protecting Liyue from external threats.”

“Woah,” Paimon says, when they come across the Ballista. “It's huge! Paimon can totally believe it took an adeptus to build this. But... how do you operate this thing?”

“...”

“Zhongli?”

“...”

“Lumine, he’s doing the thing again.”

“Ahem, Zhongli?”

“Ah?” Zhongli blinks. “Oh, yes. I’m afraid… the Ballista is currently broken.” How… sad, actually. He supposes this should be expected. After millennia of wear and tear, even adepti contraptions are difficult to maintain. Still, it’s a little disappointing. Has it truly been such a long time since he’s come to check on the device? It’s certainly been forever since they’ve needed to use it.

“Oh, no!” Paimon says. “So what're we gonna do? Quick, Mr. Zhongli, use your unlimited high-society knowledge powers!”

Zhongli blinks. “You almost make it sound like I'm some sort of... bourgeois parasite, whose only utility lies in providing quaint pieces of trivia on demand.” Is that how Paimon sees him? He casts a glance at Lumine, who is… avoiding his gaze, and whistling. 

…Is this how Childe sees him? 

“Cheer up, Zhongli,” Paimon says, patting him on the shoulder. “Your trivia is really useful!”

“Thanks,” Zhongli says wryly. “That said…” He could always go to Cloud Retainer’s Abode to obtain the necessary materials to fix the Ballista, which is what he always does… but Lumine and Paimon are here. Oh, but they have met Cloud Retainer before, so would it be alright? No, but how will Zhongli explain his relationship to Cloud Retainer with them? He is, as far as they are concerned, a regular human… oh, wait, they do know that he is aware who Venti is… right, the conversation they had when they met when Zhongli asked after him, Lumine had guessed correctly that he was an adeptus. So would it be alright if he brought them? Although...

“Hey, Zhongli!” Paimon waves. “We found some stuff in the storage room over there! Do you think this would help?”

“Hm?” Zhongli looks over at Lumine, who has an armful of miscellaneous parts that look… “Useful,” Zhongli says. The outpost here looked like it was maintained by the Qixing. Perhaps Ganyu had kept it well stocked. “One moment, I will try to repair the device…”

Zhongli clicks the last gear into place. “There.”

Lumine claps politely. Paimon whoops. “Woo! Now how do we turn it on?”

“That is easy enough,” Zhongli says, and clicks the mechanism. “We simply need to do this... Look, it even has a scope.” He peers into it and scans the periphery, but it picks up nothing out of the ordinary. Certainly no strange adeptibeast, like the unknown Cocogoat. Zhongli can feel Paimon vibrating in anticipation next to him, so he steps back and lets her play with the device, exchanging an amused look with Lumine.

Then- “Ahh! I see something!”

Zhongli swivels in the direction of the scope... but it’s just a group of normal human men heading up the slope. Disappointing.

“Hey!” One of them call out. As they get closer, Zhongli notes that they have the treasure hoarder insignia pinned to their collars. Interesting choice of venue, given that this is supposed to be a Millelith outpost. Currently unmanned, no doubt due to the reshuffling of posts in light of the disastrous events of the Rite, but still a bold move.

“Just what do you think you're doing!?” One of them - the man, in front - yells. “So you fixed up this turret... because you're planning to do what, exactly!?”

“This is not a turret,” Zhongli corrects. “This is a Guizhong Ballista, which is a weapon made by the adepti during-”

“Weapon?!” The man says. “Last time we approached the mountain, it nearly skewered one of our guys!”

“Oh,” Zhongli says. “That’s not supposed to happen.” The Guizhong Ballista was meant to disarm hostile, non-human entities. Perhaps it may have detected the… treasure hoarders' hostile intent, but they were still very much mortal. Unless… Zhongli checks with his elemental sight. Nope, human.

“Damn right!” Says the man. “A few of us risked our lives to disarm it - which, amazingly, we managed - and then we turn our backs for two seconds and you've ALREADY GONE AND REPAIRED IT!?”

Wait.

“Excuse me?” Zhongli says. “You were the ones who broke this?”

“Yeah! The next thing you'll be breaking is your faces, and that's if you get out of this aaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!”

The troupe of men whirl around. “BOSS!”

“WHAT THE-” Paimon shrieks. “ZHONGLI! Did you just throw someone into the sky?!”

“Hm?” Zhongli says. And summons his polearm.

“Wait!” Lumine - whose side is she on? - jumps between him and the ruffians. “Zhongli, calm down!”

“Lumine, move,” Zhongli says pleasantly. 

“Run for your lives, you idiots!” Paimon shouts. The four men behind Lumine immediately book it before Zhongli can punt them into the air with a stone stele. What a shame.

“Woah, Zhongli!” Lumine says. Her grip on his arm is strong. “The Guizhong Ballista must mean a lot to you, huh.”

“...” Zhongli casts a look at it. It’s his mother’s hard work, of course he can’t let it be desecrated. 

“But you fixed it, didn’t you?” Lumine says. “See? It’s good as new.”

“...I suppose you are right,” Zhongli begrudgingly admits. Father probably wouldn’t have minded, but If Xiao were here, he’d give Zhongli a lecture on how he shouldn’t harm humans even if they are really, really annoying (which Zhongli supposes is why Childe is still alive. He thanks Xiao's strict moral code and self-restraint). If Mother were here… she’d definitely agree with Xiao. Zhongli sighs. “I apologize for acting rashy.”

Lumine smiles at him. “It’s understandable to be protective of the things left behind by the people we love.”

“No harm done, right?” Paimon says. “Well, except for that one guy… um… well, I guess he was pretty rude, so that’s okay. I’m sure his friends will pick him right back up!”

Zhongli stares at her. He’s not sure if her ability to float has made her conveniently forget about what happens when someone drops from an incredibly tall height.

Lumine coughs. 

“Anyways,” Paimon says, still obliviously cheerful. “So we've got the Guizhong Ballista working, but where's our Cocogoat?”

“Ah,” Zhongli says. He’d forgotten about that. “A search using the Guizhong Ballista revealed no significant life forms nearby, save for the usual wildlife. What's more, a contraption built using adeptus technology should have no trouble detecting any adeptibeast.”

“Oh no…” Paimon sags. “What now? Any other locations we can try?”

“We aren’t even sure if this adeptibeast exists,” Lumine says. “Perhaps we can ask Qiqi again.”

They return to Bubu Pharmacy. Qiqi perks up behind the counter, and Lumine and Paimon turn towards him. Zhongli delivers the bad news.

Qiqi looks baleful. “I am disappointed,” she informs him.

“Aw, poor Qiqi…” Paimon sniffs. “Why do I feel so guilty all of a sudden?

Lumine leans down. “Qiqi, do you have any other clues?”

“Cocogoat milk is tasty. So tasty. Much better than normal goat milk. Only an adeptibeast could make such tasty milk…” Qiqi blinks a bit. “I… forgot. I cannot remember the name of the milk. That's why I wrote it down. Where did I put it…”

She rifles through the pockets of her coat. Zhongli, Lumine and Paimon lean forward in anticipation.

“Ah,” Qiqi says, a little lilt to her voice. “Here. This is the name. Coconut milk." 

“...”

“...”

“...”

“What,” Paimon says.

“Excuse me, everyone,” Qiqi says. “Why. So quiet?”

Paimon squeaks. Zhongli stares at Lumine. Lumine stares back.

“My, my,” says a familiar voice. “Whatever is going on here?”

Zhongli straightens up. “Hello, Baizhu, and Changsheng.”

“Zhongli! And guests.” Baizhu says. “Here to visit Qiqi again?”

“I’m afraid it’s not a social visit this time,” Zhongli says. “We’re here to purchase Everlasting incense for the Rite of Parting.” 

“Ah yes, of course, of course!” Baizhu says, Then, “Three million Mora, top quality, guaranteed!”

“What?!” Paimon says. “Three million?! You might as well just rob the Golden House!  Oh, but the Qixing have taken it over for now... Security will be tighter than usual.”

“Hmm,” Zhongli says. “Three million... An innocuous number in and of itself, though practically speaking, it could be a hard sum to come by.” He pulls out Ganyu’s wallet to check. 

“You definitely didn’t get any money from Venti,” Paimon says. “We know he’s broke too. Wait, that’s a girl’s purse! Zhongli, where did you get that from?!”

Zhongli frowns at the wallet. Alas, it doesn’t seem like Ganyu carries such a large sum of money around. "I'm afraid... I do not have the funds."

“What are we going to do?” Paimon wails. “Is this the part where we go crawling back to Childe?”

Chapter Text

They indeed go back to the Northland Bank. Childe is in his office when they arrive, trying hard to look like he is simply lounging at his desk, even though he is out of breath. Zhongli notes that the window is open.

Zhongli tells him the entire story as they walk back to Bubu Pharmacy. Then they have to wait by the steps, Baizhu and Qiqi peeking out of the doorway in curious amusement, as Childe collapses on the steps, hand clasped over his mouth.

“Pftt! Cocogoat! Cocogo— pfftttt. I’m - I’m not laughing, I promise. I’m just… catching my breath. Pffttt.”

“Hey!” Paimon crosses her arms. “Less laughter, more sympathy!”

Zhongli just folds his arms, and sighs. He’s still a little miffed about some random good-for-nothing people his mother advocated so much to defend just desecrated her honor like that. But Lumine is right, they did repair the Ballista without incident. And…

Well… it is a little funny, in the ironic sense. Barbatos might think it’s funny, but he has a generally weird sense of humour. Zhongli caught him giggling at the blasphemous hymns he wrote, about himself, that he sang for other people, who yelled at him because they didn’t think it was quite that funny.

And Childe had a pretty nice laugh. Zhongli would want to make him laugh more. Provided that it didn’t involve any more collateral damage.

“And Zhongli, you really did a number on those treasure hoarders, huh?” Childe says. “Man, I didn’t know you would have it in you! Alright, I’ll tell my men - uh, my fellow colleagues, of course - to stay clear of the Guizhong Ballista.”

Zhongli likes this man. “That’d be much appreciated,” He says.

“Alright, alright,” Chlide snickers. “Childe here to sort out this mess, as usual! I’m such a great friend, right, Zhongli? How much money did your other friend give you? Not enough, I’m guessing. Well, I’m in charge of a bank, you see-”

“Yeah, yeah, we know you’re rich!” Paimon says. 

“Still not changing your mind on the kite, Zhongli?” Childe continues. “I can commission for a better one. A bigger one. You’ll want to pull out all stops for the Rite of Parting, right? Two kites? Three?”

“Thank you, Childe,” Zhongli says. “That won’t be necessary. Like I said, I’m very happy with Venti’s kite.”

“HAHAHHA of course, whatever you like, Zhongli!” Childe says. “And- Qiqi, was it?”

Zhongli proceeds to watch in awe as Childe leans down and speaks to Qiqi. He has told stories about taking care of his younger siblings back in Snezhnaya, but Zhongli now sees the older brother in him clear as day. It’s an adorable sight, really. Childe proceeds to float a potential business offer for coconut milk to Baizhu as well, and Qiqi lights up. Perhaps Zhongli shall bring Childe along the next time he visits Qiqi.

Baizhu laughs. “I look forward to a successful collaboration in the future. I can give you a discount on that Everlasting Incense too, let's say... 2,990,000 Mora.”

Paimon gapes. “That's like, zero difference from three million!”

“Hmm…” Zhongli thinks. “2,990,000... Also an innocuous number in and of itself, though practically speaking it is a whole ten thousand less than the original sum of three million.”

Paimon whirls on him. “You can’t afford it anyways!”

“You appear to be correct,” Zhongli says. Just to be sure, he double checks.

“Perfect!” Childe says. “You can just bill the invoice to the Northland Bank and- Zhongli is that a woman’s purse?!”

“Hm?” Zhongli says. “Yes.”

“Wh- where did you get that? Surely not from your green bard friend…”

“No, Venti never has money.” Every time he visits Liyue, Barbatos simply hunts his father down. Zhongli wonders what he’s doing now to get by, but there’s no real danger of him actually suffering from a lack of Mora, considering he doesn’t actually need to eat to survive. Besides, he’ll probably just find Xiao if he really needs the money.

Childe’s eye twitches. “Zhongli-”

“We should go!” Paimon says loudly. “Where should we go next?”

“I suppose we can return to Yujing terrace to check on the materials,” Zhongli muses. “Would you like to join us, Childe?”

“I would love to, Zhongli!” Childe says loudly. “But ah, I think I still have… plenty of work to do! You three head off first, I’ll catch up! Hahahaha!”

“Alright,” Zhongli says. “I’d love it if you could join us for dinner, Childe.”

Childe blinks, like he’s surprised. “I… oh. Oh, yes, I’d love to. I’ll meet you later.”

Zhongli, Lumine and Paimon head to Third Round Knockout first. Childe had blabbered something about needing to complete paperwork and then ran off. They get started on some side dishes and tea, and Zhongli faintly wonders where Barbatos might have gone off to. And then-

“At last, I’ve found you.”

Zhongli looks up. Oh, it’s Ganyu. “Hello.”

Lumine and Paimon look over curiously. Ganyu hops down from the roof of the restaurant (why did she get up there? Was she using it as a lookout? If she truly missed the peaks of Jueyun Karst, Zhongli shall drag her home more often - Cloud Retainer would be the happier for it). “Mr Zhongli,” she greets, ever so formal. “And… Lumine and Paimon. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

“...Hi,” Lumine says, blinking. She exchanges a look with Paimon, who just shrugs.

Ganyu clears her throat. “I am an emissary of the Liyue Qixing. My name is Ganyu, secretary at the Yuehai Pavilion, and I have come specifically to meet you-”

“Ahem,” Zhongli says, and pats an empty seat.

“Wh-” Ganyu looks at him, at the chair, and back at him, and turns a little red. “Pardon me, I am here on official business to send a message-”

“Zhongli’s right, you should take a seat!” Paimon says. Good old Paimon. “It’s a little awkward, having you stand up to talk to us while we’re all sitting down.”

“Well… alright,” Ganyu acequises, and gingerly sits down in the empty seat next to Zhongli. “But I am here to pass on a message. I have with me a letter from lady Ningguang. She extends a formal invitation to you in her capacity as Tianquan.”

“I see,” Lumine says, taking the letter from her. “What-”

“Heeey, hope I’m not late!” Childe runs up the steps towards them. “Hey guys! And… hello! It’s nice to meet you! I’m Childe!”

Ganyu sends him a nasty look. Which, by Ganyu standards, means she looks perfectly impassive to the outsider.

“Wait… aren’t you a part of the Qixing?” Childe’s eyes grow wide. “Uh… I didn’t do anything wrong, did I? Whatever it is, I’ll pay damages!”

“She’s here for us,” Paimon says. “Wait, that sounds super suspicious! What did you do!”
“Nothing!” Childe raises his hands in defence. “I meant, if I did anything. Not that I did.”

“It’s nice to see you too, Childe,” Zhongli says warmly, and does not wince when Ganyu kicks him under the table with a minute twitch to her lips. “Why don’t you take a seat?”

“Sure,” Childe says. “There’s no empty chairs, let me grab one-”

“No need,” Ganyu announces, rising stiffly. “I’ll take my leave immediately. I have a lot of work to do.” She sweeps out of the dining area, angry little snowflakes trailing behind her.

“Woah,” Paimon says. “I know she was super nice and all, but do you think there was something a little bit scary about her at the end?”

“Maybe,” Lumine muses, tapping her chin. “I wonder why.”

“But we've received an invitation from the Liyue Qixing!” Paimon claps. “I still can't believe it!”

“An invitation to visit the Jade Chamber is a rare honor,” Zhongli notes. 

“It sure is!” Childe says. “I went there once, when I first got here, to declare myself as a foreign diplomat. The view is incredible all the way at the top, you should bring a Kamera with you!” 

Chapter Text

Lumine and Paimon run off after dinner to get a head start on their visit to Ningguang and the Jade Chamber. Paimon says something about slimes as a dessert, and Zhongli wonders if he should suggest they meet up with Xiangling. But they should have things under control.

“Zhongli!” Childe chirps. “Now that the both of them are gone…”

“Hm?” Zhongli says. “Ah, it has been a while since the both of us could spend time together.”

“Ah, I’m sorry,” Childe rubs the back of his head. “I’ve been really busy… doing all the, uh, debt collecting. Bank stuff. You know how it is.”

“It’s alright,” Zhongli says. “I have been occupied with the Rite of Parting as well.”

“Speaking of the Rite.” Childe shoves his hands in his pockets as they amble across the dock. “How have things been going?”

“They’re going as well as they could be,” Zhongli sighs. There was plenty of room for improvement, like the presence of rock music, for example. But he has to make concessions, he supposes. It’d be no fair to Xinyan to ask her to conduct a performance she feels uncomfortable with. At least the perfumes and Venti’s kite were great.

“Forgive me if I’m sounding callous, but…” Childe shrugs. “You don’t seem very put out by all of this. Rex Lapis… er, dying, that is. Not that I can say anything about this whole thing, not with being a foreigner and all.”

“I suppose it hasn’t really sunk in,” Zhongli says flatly. “It doesn’t feel like he’s dead at all.”

Childe blinks at him once, twice. “Are you religious, Zhongli?”

Zhongli… thinks. Does he believe in the archons? Sure. Is it weird that one of them is essentially his weird uncle-who-is-younger-than-him and the other is his dad? Yes. Does he worship the archons? Occasionally he brings Father a snack when he’s accidentally broken one of his fancy ornamental 4000 year old vases. (“That is an antique older than you, A-Li!” “Why is it by the doorway, then?”)  

“...I guess I am,” Zhongli says. “Sort of.”

“Sort of?” Childe says, amused.

“...The Archons and I have a complicated relationship."

Childe giggles behind his hand. "You're always so weird, Zhongli." 

"What about you?" Zhongli fires back, just for the lack of something to say. 

"Me?" Childe raises his eyebrows. "I'm loyal to the Tsaritsa, of course."

"I see." Zhongli tries to recall what he remembers of the Tsaritsa. He'd only met her a handful of times, but she was never his favourite person to be around, solely because of the frost she left behind wherever she stood. It was not very good for basking. Zhongli considered it a declaration of war when Ganyu got a cryo vision and he couldn't snuggle with her anymore. 

But other than that… 

500 years is a long time. Zhongli knows the Archons have not gathered since. He does not know what went down during the calamity that Father refuses to speak about, but blood and hurt seeped into the very leylines they walk on, and the fissures fractured the hearts and borders of the Seven. Devastated, mourning, poisoned… there was a brief period of time where they locked themselves away, each nation struggling to recoup their own.

Of course, progress has made leaps and bounds since. Trade routes reopened, communication resumed, and the land recovered from the corruption. Still, the Archons would never be as close as they were before.

Who knew whether the laughter they used to share still meant anything, or if any goodwill even remained. With Barbatos's gnosis stolen by the Tsaritsa's soldiers, and Morax in hiding in possibility of another scheme…

Zhongli sighs. “The Archons aren't infallible or all-knowing.”

Childe trips over his steps. “Wh- huh? Where did that come from?”

"Archons. They make such… strange… silly… infuriating decisions sometimes." Zhongli pauses, watching waves lap against the harbour, the moon reflecting off the ripples. "It does make you wonder what their plans are.”

Childe has stopped next to him, his arms folded. “...Yeah.” He casts a sideways glance at Zhongli. “It’s not my place to question the Tsarita’s will, but… being kept in the dark sometimes isn’t very comforting.”

Zhongli lets out a breathy laugh. “Don’t I know it.” 

Childe walks him back to Wangsheng Funeral Parlour. “I’ll probably be a bit busy in the coming days… but it was great to spend some time with you again.”

“Thank you, Childe,” Zhongli says. “It was nice spending time with you as well.”

Childe turns to head back to the bank, but hesitates in his steps. “Hey… Zhongli, do you think…”

“Hm?”

“...Nothing. It’s silly. I’ll talk to you soon, alright?”

Zhongli watches him go, frowning. 

Zhongli meets Lumine and Paimon in Dihua Marsh two days later. “How was your trip to the Jade Chamber?”

“It was so big. And pretty. And expensive!” Paimon flaps her hands excitedly. “I’ve never seen such a fancy-schmancy place before!”

Zhongli laughs. She is just like an excitable child. “Indeed. It’s second to none in all of Liyue. I trust you’ve met Ningguang as well?”

“Oh, yes!” Paimon bobs her head. “She's super rich and so generous!”

Lumine rolls her eyes. “Business people are always friendly when it suits their interests.”

Paimon crosses her arms. “Yeah, Lumine’s take on Ningguang is quite different from mine. She thinks that even the Yuheng is more trustworthy than her.”

“Keqing?” Zhongli raises an eyebrow. “So you met with her as well.”

“Mhm! Ganyu forgot to tell us how to actually get to the Jade Chamber, but Keqing told us how!” Huh, it’s not like Ganyu to be forgetful. Maybe Zhongli should remind her to nap. And to spend less energy seething at Childe.

Paimon continues. “Although, she’s quite rude towards the Archons! She said, The time of the adepti has long passed. If even the Liyue Qixing don't want to face that truth, then what future is there for Liyue?”

“Huh.” Zhongli frowns, brows furrowing. Keqing. He… remembers her saying those exact same words to Rex Lapis’s face once during the Rite of Decension. “No respect for the divine.”

Paimon nods. “Exactly! And so soon after Rex Lapis’s death, too…”

Lumine folds her arms. “I don’t think that’s what she meant.”

“Oh?” Zhongli is genuinely curious. “What do you think, then?”

Lumine seems to consider the question for a moment. “Maybe she’s just trying to think practically about all this.”

“...Perhaps,” Zhongli acquiesces. He supposes he cannot fault the mortals for beginning contingencies, considering that they do not know Rex Lapis is only pretending to be dead. He has to hand their efficiency to them..

“Anyways,” Paimon says. “Why are we here, Zhongli? Is there anything we need to get for the Rite of Parting in Dihua Marsh?”

“Oh, right.” Zhongli had almost forgotten. “We have to gather wild Glaze Lilies.”

“Glaze Lilies? But why did we come all the way out here? Doesn't the garden in Yujing Terrace have some? Even Qingce Village has Glaze Lilies…”

Zhongli shakes his head. “No, those lilies have all been gardened by people. They won't do at all. Wild Glaze Lilies have the strongest fragrance. We must grind up the wild lilies and place the powder in the censer of Everlasting Incense.” 

“I see,” Lumine says. “So how do we gather them?”

Zhongli closes his eyes, and sighs. “...We have to sing to them.” He had spent the entirety of yesterday trying to find Barbatos. Unfortunately, the wayward Archon of Anemo had disappeared under Xiao’s nose and vanished seemingly into nowhere. A very familiar breeze picked Zhongli up and spun him around back to Liyue Harbour when he went looking in the outskirts of the city, so Zhongli can only assume that he’s still around somewhere.

Regardless, it means a loss of a good bard necessary for this step of the ritual. Zhongli would love to sing to the Lilies himself, he would, except…

“Why do you need us?” Paimon says. “Can’t you sing?”

“...”

“...”

“...”

Lumine sighs. “Alright. I suppose I can hold a tune.”

Procured with an armful of happy glaze lilies, the trio head back towards Liyue Harbour. Zhongli is about to suggest heading up to Yujing Terrace to drop off the flowers, when something catches the corner of his awareness.

A pulse of geo energy.

A very familiar one, in fact.

Zhongli stiffens. A summons.

“Zhongli?” Paimon and Lumine turn around to look at him. “Why have you stopped?”

“Ahem,” Zhongli says. “I’m afraid I just remembered… something urgent that I need to do. By myself. In private. Could I trouble you two to return to Yujing Terrace with the flowers first?”

“Alright,” Lumine says. “Is there anything else you need us to do?”

“No, the matters of the Rite should be settled by now, I-” 

Something else. Another surge of elemental energy. This time, it’s from-

“The Golden House.”

“What?” Paimon says. “Is something the matter?”

That’s where the shell of the Exuvia is located. Zhongli knows that it is an empty corpse, but he cannot help but worry. He would go to investigate, except there is a more pressing and direct call from his not-dead father waiting for him in the opposite direction, and-

“Change of plans. Will you two head over to the Golden House to check on the Exuvia? Please be prepared, I’m afraid there may be an altercation awaiting you.”

“Got it,” Lumine says. All business, now that she has an immediate task at hand. “Come on, Paimon.”

Zhongli watches them go, concerned. There’s something not quite right about it all, and…

…He has a bad feeling about Childe. Especially since he’d made himself scarce after their awkward conversation two nights ago. And at the end of it all, even if Zhongli does like him… he’s still a harbinger, and a harbinger stole Barbatos’s gnosis.

Chapter Text

Zhongli gazes over the Golden House, listening for the tremors in the earth, the clash of elemental energy, and the fight between Lumine and Childe. It’s a bit disappointing it’s come to this. Even if he has his reservations about Lumine, Barbatos has already endorsed her actions on his end. Besides, it’s a bit hard to deny which side Childe is on with the way things are playing out, and his fervent self-proclaimed loyalty to gnosis-thief Tsaritsa. 

Zhongli quickly makes his way up to the mountainside. He sends the Adepti congregating nearer to the Harbour, making no movements in his direction, so he knows the summons is just for him.

He feels him before he sees him.

“Hello, Father.”

Motherfucker , he thinks. Technically true, but he wasn’t going to say it. He was above petty insults and swears like-

“Son,” Morax says. “You look well.”

“Motherfucker,” Zhongli says.

Father hits him over the head.

Zhongli whips around and hisses at him, and gets a faceful of mother’s perfume - or specifically, the sample that he and the traveller had previously acquired, left out as an offering. Father must have enjoyed it, then. He better be grateful, or Zhongli is dousing the Rite with Xiangling’s slime condensate hilichurl horn stew.

He says as such, and then this time gets smacked in the face by Father’s Memory of Dust, hovering over his hands. Spitefully, Zhongli yanks it out of the air and tucks it under his arm. He doesn’t deserve it.

Father stares balefully at him.

Zhongli tightens his grip on Mother’s toy. He’s keeping it.

Father sighs, like he's the one being inconvenienced. He sits down next to Zhongli and smooths out his coat, and looks thoughtfully over the Golden House. Zhongli carefully watches his expressions, but Father seems impassively placid at his beloved workplace and claim to fame being destroyed from the inside out. 

There’s a long beat of silence between them, and then Father looks over at him. “Good effort preparing the Rite of Parting. Although I believe there can be some… improvements.”

"You are correct," Zhongli says sullenly. "The atmosphere would be greatly improved by rock music."

Morax cuffs him on the head. "Wilful."

Zhongli bares his fangs. "You faked your death."

"I did indeed," Morax says, unconcerned. Asshole. "Can you guess why?"

"I don't care," Zhongli snaps. "I thought you were dead. Even the adepti thought you were dead. You-"

"I am here now," Morax says, and drags his claws over Zhongli's hair, coming to scratch at his ear. Zhongli's mouth clicks shut, and he does not purr, dammit. 

Morax looks out into the ocean.

“The Archons aren’t infallible. Barbatos and I are the only two that remain of the original seven. Were the day to come that I succumb to erosion, I considered you as my successor.”

Zhongli winces. “Father…”

“Which is why it came as a surprise when you told me you wanted to live among the humans.”

Oh, come on, this again? This better not be the grand reason for faking his death! Zhongli crosses his arms and huffs. “Ganyu does it. Yanfei does it. Barbatos does it. You do it sometimes-”

“A-Li,” Father chastises. “I am agreeing with you.” 

Zhongli pauses, surprised. “Wait, really?”

Father raises an eyebrow, but he looks amused. "Yes. I must admit your words allowed me to do some reflection. If you recall, some Rites of Decension ago, the Yuheng of the Liyue Qixing approached me and proclaimed the Age of Adepti over. Long have the Adepti watched over the people from the seclusion of the mountains, but with every passing year - and with you," Morax said, looking over at Zhongli with mirth in his amber eyes, "proclaiming you wanted to live as a human. The descendents of the Adepti have slowly incorporated themselves into human society, proving the Yuheng right."

Zhongli remembers that Rite. He'd been appalled, at some single human marching up to the Geo Archon and calling him irrelevant. But Father had laughed, and waved Ganyu's apologies away, and told Zhongli rather cryptically that "the Yuheng's resolution is to be admired, and her ambitions may not be as distant as she imagines." 

Zhongli had chalked up the words to one of his father’s distant ramblings. He knows it holds some truth - Liyue Harbour has grown so much from the little village it once was, it stands to believe that it will continue to progress even further. 

Ganyu had invited Zhongli to watch the Lantern Rite with her 2 years ago. She had seemed particularly proud of that one, and far too secretive, and had brought him to Yuehai Pavilion. There he sat amongst the glaze lilies, with Yanfei crossed-legged next to him with her elbows propped up on her law guide book, Granny with misty eyes and her hand over a warm cup of tea, and Father in one of his human guises and a fan hiding the bottom part of his face. They watched in rapt attention as the sea of lanterns trailed a path to the sky.

The Mingxiao lantern that year had been a fluttering bouquet of glaze lilies, Mother's name woven in the petals. Crowds of people watched the night sky burst into brilliant amber. 

The next morning, Zhongli had walked through the lingering memories of the festival. People laughing, chatting as they went about their day, reminiscing memories of the beautiful night, and paying their respects to Guizhong, the God of Dust. 

Approximately two days later, Zhongli announced that he would like to live in Liyue Harbour like Ganyu and Yanfei. Father had spluttered in his tea and had grown silent for so long Zhongli feared that this was the last blow to his dear father’s heart. But ultimately Morax had agreed without much fanfare, and told Ganyu to watch over him, and Zhongli left Jueyun Karst to live his life as a mortal.

"Were you disappointed in me?" Zhongli asks quietly. 

"No," Father says. "...Surprised, perhaps. But not disappointed."

"But I abandoned my adepti duties and my responsibilities as your successor,” Zhongli says.

“Perhaps the mantle of the Geo Archon is in no need for a successor,” Morax says.

Zhongli looks up. “Father?”

“I have been the Geo Archon for 3000 years,” Morax says. “Perhaps… it is time I think about retiring.”

Waves crash against the shore. Energy in the Golden House surges and threatens to rock its foundations. 

"How long have you thought about this?" Zhongli asks. 

"A long time ago, when I signed the contract with Ganyu to work with the Liyue Qixing, I had always imagined the possibility of adepti and humans side-by-side," Father admits. "Your mother would talk about similar dreams. She loved the people so much she couldn't imagine leaving them. And you…"

Father drags one hand over Zhongli's hair and ruffles the top of his head, like Zhongli is 3 instead of 3000. " Diē," Zhongli whines. 

"Just like her," Father laughs. "As sentimental as your mother."

Zhongli falls silent. 

“ I watched and waited for this day,” says Father. “When Ganyu left the seclusion of Jueyun Karst to live and work in the Liyue Harbour, and when Xiao chose to take up residence far away by Mondstadt’s border, I wondered if you would one day want to do the same. I admit I selfishly kept you by my side for far longer than i should have. And yet here you are, and all the years have passed, in the blink of an eye. And it made me realize…”

"All parents have to watch their children grow up and become independent." Father says. "You have all grown up, and so has Liyue." 

"And so," Morax says, "I have devised a test to ensure Liyue's independence."

"Faking your death," Zhongli nods. He gets it now, even if he still thinks this whole situation is frustratingly contrived. "Watching how the Qixing and the Liyue people respond to this emotional distress and economic crisis."

Father smiles serenely, leaning back to let the breeze flutter over his face. He makes a magnificent picture of the Archon of Geo, the reigning god of Liyue for over 6000 years, impartialness and wisdom unmatched across the land. Then he says, "no."

"...What?" Zhongli asks. "Then what is the test?"

Suddenly the ground shakes. Zhongli watches, appalled, as the roof of the Golden House splinters, and elemental energy beams through it. The earth trembles, tidal waves crash, and the beginnings of a tsunami surges against the rocks. 

Zhongli turns back to stare at his father in absolute horror, while the man lounges as unbothered as a corpse, as the Overlord of the Vortex bursts out from his watery prison in the Guyun Stone Forest. 

Chapter Text

The mounting tsunami released upon Osial's explosive return surges towards Liyue Harbour. The perils of a city by the coastline. Zhongli leaves Father behind (the man laughs, Zhongli takes the Memory of Dust with him) and immediately heads out to the docks.

Citizens are running amok, leaving behind their wares and possessions to go further inland. Zhongli weaves through the crowd and directs as many people to Yujing Terrace as possible.

"Mr Zhongli?!" 

"Xingqiu, Chongyun," Zhongli greets. "You two should vacate immediately." 

"Will our visions help?!" Xingqiu yells, words almost lost in the whipping wind.

"I'm afraid not," Zhongli apologizes. He's seen them with their visions - they are skilled, but still children. Zhongli glances at the quickly approaching wave - ah, there's no time. There were still too many people running about the docks. "Stand behind me, will you?" 

"Wh-" Xingqiu starts. Chongyun yanks him by the arm.

Zhongli focuses. He is not the Geo Archon, but he is still a powerful adeptus with 3000 years of practice under his belt. Furthermore, with a powerful catalyst like the Memory of Dust with him, it should be no trouble at all to conjure…

A defensive blockade the size of Liyue Harbour. 

"Solidify."

An enormous jade shield erupts from his palms. 

The giant tidal wave crashes against it, but Liyue Harbour remains unscathed. 

"M-Mr Zhongli!" Xingqiu and Chongyun are clinging onto the back of his shirt, but they jump apart quickly when he turns to check on them. "You-"

"Come on, the docks are no place to idle." Zhongli looks around. "Is anyone hurt?" He scans the crowd, and everyone looks shaken up, but no one seems to have been injured-

"Mr Zhongli!" Chongyun yells. "More waves behind you!"

Zhongli whips around. The aftershocks. Smaller tidal waves, but still large enough to be devastating. "Everyone up to Yujing Terrace, now." He follows the retreating crowd up the stairs. The jade shield withstands several more waves crashing against it, before the attacks cease entirely. Zhongli looks up… to see Osial's efforts being directed elsewhere.

Towards the Jade Chamber in the open ocean, where Zhongli can sense the energies of the other adepti. Looks like he should go assist, but he can't leave the harbour unattended in case Osial strikes again-

"Lord Zhongli!" 

It's Yanfei! On her heels, Hu Tao. "How may I assist?"

"Yanfei!" Zhongli breathes in relief. She may be a half-adeptus, but her skills are powerful as well, and she has the ability to conjure a shield. Not big enough to defend the entire harbour but she'll certainly be able to keep a good handful of people safe. "Will you lead the people to Yujing Terrace and guard them? Use the teapot adeptal realm if necessary. I will head to the Jade Chamber to assist in the battle."

"Understood, my lord!" Yanfei says. She's one of the only adepti who doesn't address him as young master, considering she is many times his junior. "Follow me, everyone!" She bounds off, herding the people further inland.

Except for Hu Tao, Xingqiu and Chongyun.

“Wait!” Hu Tao says. “Are you actually going to go fight?”

“Ah, Hu Tao,” Zhongli says. “I am.’

“You…” She sniffs. “B-be safe, okay?”

“Thank you.” Zhongli places a hand on her shoulder. “You three should leave quickly.”

“Come back to me, Zhongli, do you understand!” She grabs the lapels of his jacket. “I’m not giving you an employee discount if you die!”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less,” Zhongli promises. She gives him one last frantic glance from behind her shoulder, before she grabs the two boys and pulls them along, following the rest of the citizens further up the mountains.

Zhongli turns to Osial and watches him fire a jet of water towards the Jade Chamber. It rocks a little precariously. If it goes down, Osial will turn his sights towards the harbour again, and then it might be too late if Zhongli is not immediately here to defend it… is it better if he stays here, in case-

"What'cha waiting for?" 

Zhongli startles. "Venti?" Oh! "Venti!" Barbatos is here! "If Osial hits the harbour, will you please-"

"Yeah, yeah, I get it," Barbatos says, waving a hand faux callously, although his eyes gleam with the promise of a hidden power. Zhongli shivers a little as the wind picks up. "Now, do you want a lift?"

A lift to- "oh, will you?"

"Hang on tight," Venti winks at him. The tips of his braids glow, he flicks a finger, and an anemo current tosses Zhongli into the air.

He lands on the platform after a too-fast too-frantic flight, startling almost everyone in the process. Lumine is already there, and she doesn’t look surprised to see him, but the other humans do.

“Mister Zhongli,” Keqing says. “What are you-”

“Young Master,” Ganyu frantically greets him.

Keqing’s mouth clicks shut.

“Nice of you to join us,” Ningguang says tactfully. 

The adepti turn to Zhongli, which makes even the mortals pause for his direction. It’s a little odd, since Zhongli is not even the oldest of the group, but he supposes he has the highest rank amongst the adepti now, since Rex Lapis is “dead”.

Zhongli had been one of the adepti to fight Osial back then. He remembers it being a long, arduous battle, draining even for the adepti, and he wonders if the humans would be able to handle it. 

But his father had made a rather… compelling point.

The age of adepti… well, he wouldn’t say it’s over. That feels rather hypocritical. 

But he can’t deny that the age of humanity is upon them. 

Zhongli turns to Ningguang. “Tianquan, to you.”

She looks mildly surprised, but quickly schools her expression. “We have discussed the measures on the way here. We will be using the Guizhong Ballistas to fight back.”

Ah. What would Mother say if she were here?

Yell at Father, probably, for going to such lengths and threatening the lives of the citizens of Liyue Harbour.

“And as fate would have it,” Cloud Retainer says, “one, who did craft the Guizhong Ballista with one's own hands, is here.” She exchanges a look with Zhongli - who just shrugs.

Ningguang says, “we haven't a moment to spare. Our battle begins now!”

Chapter Text

The Jade Chamber is an engineering marvel that almost rivals the adepti prowess. As Ningguang activates it, a geo construct platform materializes under their feet - Zhongli steps onto it, and fortifies it with his own power. Ningguang must be able to feel it, because she sends a quick glance his way.

Moon Carver, Mountain Shaper and Cloud Retainer man each of the three ballistas. Zhongli stares at Osial as he rages on, and explosions from Mother’s weaponry rain down on him.

Is Father watching them? 

Zhongli hopes he chokes on his stupid rite of Parting offerings. In fact, h e hopes Barbatos hits him over the head with Kite Lapis.

When the Fatui arrive, Zhongli is almost disappointed that Childe is not in the crowd - although he supposes he wouldn’t be, given that he would be recuperating from the fight in the Golden House. Besides, Zhongli is sure he would be the first one the Qixing would launch into the ocean if he showed his face, so maybe it was for the better.

Some of the Fatui recognize him and give him a wide berth, which is a little bit amusing. He ends up idly standing next to Moon Carver's ballista, his presence being a deterrent to any Fatui, so the fighters dart between the other two. 

"Osial's attack is charging up!" Ganyu warns. Her cryo-charged arrow sail over their heads, cutting through the ocean storm and landing in one of Osial's tentacles. It explodes in a shower of ice, making Osial screech.

"I will aid you as well," Zhongli says, and summons a geo construct. It plummets from the heavens and shatters another tentacle.

Unfortunately, Osial's tentacles are made of water, so his and Ganyu's damage is quickly recovered by the vast energy resource known as the ocean.

Osial's torrents rain down on the Jade Chamber. Xiao, Ganyu and Granny Ping grant Lumine the blessing of their adeptal arts, something the ordinary mortals will not be able to bear. What an interesting girl. 

Zhongli extends that courtesy and casts a Jade Shield over not just her, but the Millelith and Qixing as well. 

He can hear Keqing yell as she darts past him. "We are going to prove to Rex Lapis that we can do this!"

She is so right.

When Osial's crushing attack lands, even Zhongli's fortifications don't hold. The ground shatters underneath his feet.

He's in free-fall for a few seconds - almost considering turning into his adeptal form - when Xiao swoops in. He's already holding onto Lumine, who's windswept wide-eyed expression makes Zhongli think she's undergoing some sort of crisis. He hopes she is not too winded from the fight.

"What do we do now?" Ganyu says, turning to him with wide eyes. "Without the Guizhong Ballistas…"

"My Lord," Moon Carver turns to him. "Do you think you will be able to seal him?"

"I don't believe I will be able to summon anything as large and as heavy as my father can," Zhongli admits, folding his arms across his chest. "From what I can sense, the original seal is still present, so all we need to do is weaken him enough for the seal to trap him again."

"Your father?" Keqing says.

"Yes," Zhongli nods. "You know him. He is - was - Rex Lapis."

There is a sudden pause amongst the gathering of the Qixing, punctuated by the war cries of an ancient ocean god.

"Say that again?" Yelan says. 

"Wait, what?!" Paimon shrieks. "Your father- wh- we thought YOU were Rex Lapis!"

"What? Why would I be Rex Lapis?"

Lumine is uncharacteristically gaping at him. Paimon points accusingly at him and says, "it's you on the Statues of the Seven!" 

"Ah," Realization dawns on Zhongli. He understands where they’re coming from now. "A simple misunderstanding. That is my father's form depicted on the Statues of the Seven in Liyue, but I happen to hear that we look remarkably alike, because I am related to him."

Keqing says, "you're Rex Lapis's son?!"

Ningguang clears her throat, "my condolences."

"Thank you," Zhongli says politely.

The shield he had cast around the Jade Chamber rattles ominously, as another one of Osial's attacks hits it.

"You were saying," Ningguang says. "As long as we hit him with something large and heavy?"

"That is one way," Zhongli says. 

"In that case," Ningguang says, "I have a plan."

The Jade Chamber crashes spectacularly into the ocean.

“Farewell old friend,” Ningguang sighs longingly, as she’s clinging onto the back of Cloud Retainer. “...Goodbye for now. Let us meet again in the future…”

Zhongli feels for her. What a technological marvel, gone to the seas. Mother would have loved to see such an invention, he thinks. She would be delighted that the humans she so adored were capable of such innovations.

"What a shame," he echoes, as he clings onto Xiao.

Xiao makes a face at him. He zips them to the harbour, joining the other adepti, who have scooped up the other members of the Qixing and Millelith. 

Ningguang is sighing as she gazes solemnly into the horizon, the sun glinting through the jagged peaks of Guyun Stone Forest and the smashed debris of her living room.

Zhongli shuts his eyes to focus on the energies below the waves. "It seems that Osial has once again been contained by his seal," Zhongli notes. "Pardon me, I think I should be able to…" With the Memory of Dust, it is easier to channel the geo energy into the chains surrounding Osial's underwater prison.

A pulse of warm geo energy erupts from beneath the Guyun Stone Forest. A ring of amber flashes from the deep… before the energy dissipates back into the ocean. 

It still leaves him… a lot more winded than it would be convenient in the midst of battle. Ganyu has crept up to him, sending a cryo chill to clear his headache.

Ningguang sighs with heavy set shoulders and she turns back around. "We are indebted to you for your assistance. Lumine, the adepti. And… Lord Zhongli.”

Zhongli coughs. “Just Zhongli is fine, Tianquan.”

“On behalf of the Qixing and the people of Liyue, you have our most sincerest condolences over the passing of your father, Lord Rex Lapis.”

“...Thank you.” Zhongli ignores the looks exchanged by the rest of the adepti. He still needs to clarify with them about Father’s… grand plans.

Ningguang continues. “If the adepti hadn't happened to be here, the future of Liyue Harbor would surely have been in great jeopardy. Although, …Zhongli, and the adepti, I do wish that you all would be willing to hear us out.”

“What?” Zhongli says.

“Forgive us, young master,” Ganyu says. “In your absence, the Qixing and the Adepti had begun discussions over… how to best manage the safety of Liyue without Lord Rex Lapis watching over us.”

“Liyue today is no longer the same city as it was all those years ago,” Ningguang says, hand over her heart. “The country of contracts is grateful to the adepti for their protection. But it is no longer necessary for the city to rely on the adepti's power to solve every little matter. I simply hope that our adepti forebearers will see Liyue in a new light.”

“What do you think, Zhongli?” Moon Carver says. “You have lived amongst the humans in Liyue Harbour for a time now.”

“I met my father,” Zhongli says, to the hushed attention of the Qixing and the Adepti. “In a dream, the other day,” he tacks on hastily, because Rex Lapis is still supposed to appear dead, after all. He knows the Adepti would understand. “He asked me about my decision to live in Liyue Harbour. He said that he hadn’t realized I had grown up so quickly… which made him reflect the same way upon Liyue Harbour.”

It’s Xiao - dear Xiao, who perhaps spends a bit too much time with Barbatos, that catches on first. “Young master, you don’t mean…”

“Indeed I do,” Zhongli just sighs. 

“Conqueror of Demons,” Cloud Retainer says. “What may be the matter?”

Xiao coughs. “Perhaps this should be discussed elsewhere.”

Out of earshot from the Qixing, from which Ganyu made hasty farewells and went to join her adepti brethren, Zhongli wonders what would be the best way to break the news.

“Remember what Barbatos said to Father 500 years ago before he decided to take a nap?” Zhongli says.

“Yawn, I’m beat, night night?” Ganyu says.

Zhongli shakes his head. “No, no, before that.”

“Slapped Lord Morax with his wing.” “Stole a pillow from his abode.” “Kicked him in the knee.”

“No,” Zhongli says. “He said, ‘Mondstadt is independent, so I can leave the city in the hands of the people.”  

“Actually, I said, ‘Mondstadt has proven herself to be independent, so I’m relieved to leave her in the capable hands of her own people!’ But that’s close enough, really.”

The adepti look up. “Barbatos!” Zhongli greets.

“A very stunning fight you had there, my dears!” Barbatos giggles, as anemo lowers him to the ground. “A spectacular show!”

“Zhongli,” Mountain Shaper says. “Do you mean that Lord Morax had intended to leave the people alone to fight Osial because he was assured of Liyue’s independence?”

“Somewhat,” Zhongli winces. That’s a more forgiving assumption than saying Morax had orchestrated the fight in the first place. Perhaps he’ll leave it at that so that the adepti don’t try to kill Father. (Not that they would, but still.)

“Speaking of,” Cloud Retainer says. “The true perpetrator of Osial’s reawakening is that… assailant at the Golden House. The Harbinger from the land of ice. One understands that you like him, Zhongli, but human lives are short and you’ll find another lover. He must stand trial for his misdeeds-”

“Wait, wait,” Zhongli wheezes. Scratch everything he’s said about preserving Father’s dignity. “The Osial plan wasn’t Childe’s fault.”

“Whose is it, then? Are you certain it is not the Harbinger? Did he perhaps blackmail you, young master?” Ganyu demands, drawing her bow. “I will deal with him swiftly.”

“No! It was Father’s plan all along!"

The adepti stare at him.

“He wanted to devise an obstacle to test Liyue's independence."

"Are you saying Lord Morax decided that Osial, The Overlord of the Vortex, was a suitable test?!"

Zhongli stares, straight faced, at Cloud Retainer. "Yes."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"Wow, look at you all!" Barbatos says. "It's been ages since I've visited, you must catch me up on everything I've missed, perhaps over a nice pot of tea? Some snacks, perhaps? I'm famished watching you all do such hard work! Perhaps after that we can play my favorite game of drag the dragon out of his den!"

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...What an intriguing proposal, Lord Barbatos," Moon Carver says. "I shall prepare some of your favorite sweets for you."

"...I shall see you to Mt. Aocang, Lord Barbatos," Cloud Retainer says. "If you eat quicker, we can get started on that game sooner." 

Xiao and Mountain Shaper both look haunted.

Ganyu coughs, and dispels her bow. "...If that is all, I am going to reconvene with the Qixing. Excuse me." 

Chapter Text

Zhongli heads back down to the gathering of people with Ganyu. She immediately gets pulled over by Keqing and Yelan, the latter of the two making complicated gestures in the air, the former looking quite flustered. Zhongli steps away to give them privacy.

"Zhongli!" Paimon waves, and zips over to his side. "We're heading to the Northland Bank right now to check on, uh, you-know-who. Want to come along?" 

Lumine's standing at the corner looking out into the ocean, her arms crossed. There's a scrape on her forehead and ocean water drenched in her dress. She rolls her shoulders and nods. 

"How was fighting Childe?" Zhongli asks, curious.

"Hm," Lumine says, blinking slowly. "A pain." 

"I see," Zhongli says, the words a little sour in his mouth. Childe setting Osial free. A pawn in his father's plans, but still…

"He's a little nuts," Lumine muses. "He hasn't asked you to spar with him?" 

"No," Zhongli says. "To him, I am just an ordinary funeral parlour consultant." 

She graces him with an unimpressed look. 

"Come on Zhongli, you look just like Rex Lapis!" Paimon says, spinning in a circle around him. "I'm surprised the whole of Liyue doesn't think you're him! You look sooooooo identical, even down to your hair!"

Zhongli is amused. "Have you met my father yet?"

"Well, no, but when we climbed up the Statue of the S-"

Lumine promptly yanks at one of the fluttering stars trailing behind Paimon's cape.

"I doubt the ordinary citizens of Liyue are climbing the Statues of the Seven," Zhongli says. 

Lumine raises an eyebrow. “They’re not exactly hard to see, even from the ground.”

“Perhaps,” Zhongli says. The walk to the Northland Bank is surprisingly lively, with many of Liyue’s citizens milling about them, exchanging harried whispers that Zhongli cannot catch. They must have left Yujing Terrace after Osial had fallen, creating a rather spectacular crash, and they're all glancing over as they walk. Lumine must be gaining quite a celebrity status.

Vlad is missing from his post at the entrance. However, Zhongli doesn’t think his presence would be exactly necessary, if he’s right about who he’s sensing behind the door. 

The Eight Harbinger of the Fatui straightens up when Lumine pushes open the doors. La Signora. Zhongli narrows his eyes at her. She’s here on orders from the Cryo Archon in collusion with his father, which means she’s technically an ally right now, but that doesn’t mean Zhongli can’t just be mad at her on principle because of what she did to Barbatos. 

“Hello,” La Signora says, before Zhongli can speak. “The esteemed Lord of Geo, Rex Lapis. I am La Signora, the Eight Harbinger of the Tsaritsa’s Harbingers, at your service.”

Zhongli stares at her. Then turns to Lumine and Paimon. Who are giving him twin “I told you so” looks.

Then-

“Zhongli?!” Childe pops out from under the desk. What was he doing under there? “You are the Geo Archon! You! I can’t - no, I didn’t want to believe it, but all the clues were there!” Childe storms up to him, and jabs one bandaged finger in his chest. Zhongli notes the various cuts and bruises on him - looks like Lumine truly gives as hard as she gets. “You! You… you… liar!”

“Tartaglia!” La Signora says, aghast. “You cannot speak this way to an archon!”

“Actually,” Zhongli starts.

“Oh, you were in on it, too!” Childe whirls on her. “Am I just some pawn to the both of you!” He turns back to Zhongli. “Tell me, was any of this real, or were you just taking me for a fool?!"

"You are a fool, Childe," La Signora sniffs.

"Hmph!" Childe crosses his arms. "Zhongli! Or should I say... Rex Lapis! I bet you feel so high and mighty now, leading me on like this! Haha, I mean, what can I say, I'm just a simple soldier for the Tsaritsa after all, just a pawn for you archons to - um. Uh. Huh? Uh….”

La Signora had fallen silent since midway through Childe’s outburst. Lumine and Paimon have somehow teleported to the other end of the room. 

The reason being, of course-

Zhongli just sighs.

La Signora recovers quickly, like there had never been any case of mistaken identity in the first place. “Lord Rex Lapis, the geo Archon! I am… La Signora, the Eight Harbinger of the Tsaritsa’s Harbingers, honoured to be at your service.”

"At ease, Signora," Morax says, coming up from behind Zhongli. He places one clawed - of course he had chosen his half-adeptal form to present in - hand on Zhongli's head and… smushes his hair. Thanks, dad. "I believe we have a contract to fulfil."

For each step Morax had taken forward, Childe had taken three back. He's standing behind his superior now, eyes blown wide. Zhongli pities him, a little. He's been on the receiving end of Father's disapproving stares plenty of times before.

Morax lifts his palm… and floating in the centre, glowing with a soft amber, is-

"The geo gnosis," La Signora says. She holds out her own hand for it.

Father clears his throat. “The contract is fulfilled. That which thou seeketh is now bestowed unto thee, for my promise is solid as stone.”

“What?!” Paimon says. “You - Mr Zhongli’s dad - are giving your gnosis away?”

Morax’s gaze snaps to her. Paimon squeaks and darts behind Lumine’s shoulder.

But Father just chuckles. “I do not give it for free. I give it as agreed upon in the contract... for it is a matter solely between the Tsaritsa and I.”

“But…” Lumine speaks up this time. “You feigned your death?” She looks over at Zhongli. “Did you know?”

Did he know, indeed. Zhongli crossed his arms. “Why don’t you explain this one, father?”

Morax sighs, like an exasperated parent. “I have already explained my reasons to you, A-Li. I apologise for deceiving you, but I had my plans.”

“I hated your plan,” Zhongli says flatly. “I can't believe you made me think you were dead."

"You believed it for all of fifteen minutes," Father said.

Zhongli can only glower at him, speechless.

Father turns to Lumine and Paimon. “It is nice to meet the both of you. Traveller from another land, and her guide. I have been watching you since you’ve entered Liyue, and it gladdens me to see that my son has been making friends.”

What the- "Father!" Zhongli snaps, face burning. 

Father ignores him. “I suppose, with how you two have gotten so evolved in the matter, I shall give you a brief account for my actions as well. Simply put, I have devised a test to see whether Liyue was ready to advance to the next stage of progress without my governance.”

"...” Lumine and Paimon look unconvinced, but they don’t retort, possibly because of disbelief at the explanation, or fear of outwardly criticising an archon. 

…Then again, Paimon regularly calls Barbatos the Tone-Deaf Bard. But to be fair, Barbatos, both in stature and reputation, is very much less intimidating than Morax is.

Then Father turns to the last person in the room he has yet to address.

"Tartaglia," Father says. "Or Childe, or… Ajax."

Ajax? Zhongli mouths. He casts a glance at Lumine, who shrugs. Childe doesn't seem to be breathing, which is a concern.

"You have awoken one of Liyue's ancient enemies, threatened to lay waste to the harbour, and almost destroyed my city."

"Um," Childe says.

"Father," Zhongli hisses, feeling a need to defend Childe, despite… well, everything. Did he technically do all that on his own accord since, in his perspective, it was all real? Yes. Was Zhongli mad that he'd be willing to go that far in his actions? Yes. But was he also a pawn in Father's - and the Tsaritsa’s - scheme, no doubt manipulated and pushed to the extremes by the archons behind the scenes without his knowing?! Triple Yes! 

Zhongli will save Childe from being ground to dust under Father's massive teeth. 

And then he'll get mad at Childe himself.

Father turns to Zhongli, looking woefully unimpressed. "Are you sure you like this one?" 

“I don’t want to hear it from you!” Zhongli says, ignoring his own reddening face. “You’re the real mastermind behind this whole scenario! I bet you slipped in clues about Osial to give him the idea in the first place!”

“Perhaps I did,” Morax says flatly. “But the fact is that Tartaglia here was still willing to carry on with the plan. I do not believe that he is a suitable-”

“Who said anything about anybody being suitable!” Zhongli throws his hands in the air, and storms off.

Chapter Text

Zhongli lets the front doors of the Northland Bank slam shut behind him. Lumine and Paimon have crept out alongside him with solidarity, and not wanting to be stuck in the same room as his terrorist not-boyfriend, Barbatos's gnosis stealer, and his father.

Ugh.

"What are you going to do now, Zhongli?" Paimon says, hand hovering over his shoulder. 

"..." Zhongli shuts his eyes and thinks. "Finish the Rite of Parting."

"But Rex Lapis - ahem, your father isn't really dead?" 

"Indeed. However," Zhongli twitches in irritation again at considering the plan , "as you have heard, he had intended to fake his death and appear as deceased to the Liyue populace. As such, the Rite of Parting shall proceed."

Paimon hovers uncertainly. "I don't know how I feel about holding a funeral for a god who isn't even dead." 

Zhongli rolls his eyes. "Maybe Morax should've thought of that before pulling this stunt."

Lumine quickly disguises her snort with a cough.

"Now," Zhongli says, stretching his neck. "I believe I should go check up on Yanfei. I am guessing she must still be at Yujing Terrace."

"Who's that?"

"Yanfei is a half-adeptus, much like Ganyu. She lives in Liyue Harbour as well."

"Wow, there are so many adepti just hidden in plain sight, huh?" Paimon says, when they approach the top of the steps nearing the terrace. Zhongli can hear the bustling and chatter of crowds.

"Indeed," Zhongli says. "Ah, you both are here." Granny had made it back from her rendezvous with the other adepti, now seated back at her little bench, Yanfei next to her. There is still a sizable crowd milling about. Heads swivel at Lumine and Paimon's arrival. Zhongli smiles at her. "It is good to see the people safe." 

"No problem, my Lord!" Yanfei salutes. "It is my duty as an adeptus to ensure the safety of the people!"

Zhongli chuckles. "No need to be so formal with me, A-Yan. After all, I am just-"

"ALL HAIL THE LORD OF GEO, REX LAPIS!"

Ah.

It seems that Zhongli has made a mistake.

A misconception, perhaps.

A misunderstanding, even.

"Wait!" Zhongli says. "I am-"

"Lord Rex Lapis!" A woman next to him wails. The first row of people drop to their knees. Someone is crying. "Thank Celestia for coming back to us!"

"We knew you wouldn't forsake us!"

"Long Live Lord Rex Lapis, the Archon of Geo!"

Zhongli looks around helplessly. "But-"

Lumine and Paimon are. Laughing. Damn them. Less laughter, more sympathy, please!

Yanfei leaps towards him. "Oh my, I'm so sorry, my Lord!" 

"-Please stop calling me-"

"Run away quickly! I'll hold them off!"

"A-yan, A-li, that won't work. Hide in my teapot instead."

"Granny-"

A new - familiar - voice. "What is happening?" 

Zhongli dives for cover behind the new wall of arrivals. "Tianquan! Ganyu!"

"Wh-" "Young Master-" "Lord Zhongli-"

The crowd explodes. "Rex Lapis and the Qixing!" "The Qixing have arrived!" Then: "All hail Rex Lapis!" 

Ningguang's eyebrows have risen to her hairline. Ganyu's mouth falls open with realization, but she can only stare back at him in stunned silence. Keqing looks absolutely horrified, but her yelling is drowned out by the crowd. Yelan looks like she is trying to drown the noise -or herself - with her own vision.

Then,

"Morax!"

The crowd falls silent with utter shock at who dares to address their god so personally. Waves of blasphemed exclamations explode from ground zero. A trail of disgruntled gasps emerge as someone jostles their way through the throng of people, only to reveal-

Hu Tao lunges.

Zhongli catches her before she sends the Qixing tumbling. "Hu Tao-"

"I'm so so so glad you're safe! I wouldn't forgive you if you died twice!" 

"Hu Tao," Zhongli says, at an utter loss as to how to defend himself. "I'm not Morax."

"Oi, stop denying it! We all see the signs! That giant geo shield was a dead giveaway! Even Yanfei called you-"

"I'm his son."

"Eh?"

Hu Tao pulls away from him. Squints, then yanks him down by the collar to scrutinise his face. In the meantime, Yujing Terrace has fallen to a hush, eyes eagerly watching the stage.

"What?!" Hu Tao frowns. "Morax's… son?"

"Yes," Zhongli says, sighing in relief. At least one person - his boss - is listening to him.

"But…" she stares at him. "Morax doesn't have a son… does he?"

"Ahem, if I may!" Yanfei hops up on Granny's bench, clinching the opportunity that the shocked silence has brought her. "On my honor as a top legal advisor in Liyue… as well as a fellow adepti, I can vouch for Zhongli! He is our Lord's… son."

"B-but…" Hu Tao turns back to look at him, and inexplicably yanks at a lock of his hair. "You look so much like the statues of the seven."

"He's my father," Zhongli says uselessly, not sure how much else to convey the message of, uh, genetic similarity. "I look like him."

"Oh." His boss releases him. Zhongli rubs the crick in his neck. 

"Ahem," Ningguang says. 

Hu Tao ignores her. "How come we've never heard of you, then?" She says, arms on her hips. 

"But you have heard of me," Zhongli says.

"No I haven't!"

Zhongli raps her on the forehead. "You have heard of the god of ruins," he says pointedly. He saw a book on her desk the other day, written by people who have seen him pass the crumbling monuments of old. "And the god of flowers." The moniker started floating around some odd 2000 years ago when Zhongli had run into a band of travellers en route to his mother's burial place. Of course, not to be confused with the other god of flowers from Sumeru. There were so many overlapping titles it's a wonder how people keep track of them all. 

"But," Hu Tao says. "Those two gods were speculated to be, er, Rex Lapis…?"

Zhongli gestures to himself. "I look like Rex Lapis."

"Oh."

Ningguang coughs again. 

“Rex Lapis is still dead,” Zhongli clarifies. 

Hu Tao pats his shoulder. “At least it’s not a waste of a funeral.”

Chapter Text

"Errr, Master Hu, there's a-another one."

Hu Tao barely glances up from her letter. "Aiyah, again? Put it with the others."

Meng warily eyes the growing pile of offerings spilling out the doorway of Zhongli's little consultant office, and gingerly balances the newest parcel on the stack. It teeters in place threateningly, wobbling over the top of the pile… and then falls over. Meng sighs.

There's a knock in the door.

"Oi!" Hu Tao tosses the piece of paper (just another boring request to poach Zhongli away from her! Psh, where else is she going to find another bourgeois encyclopaedic funeral consultant?) and knocks back loudly on the doorway, startling Ferrylady and the Morax-junior worshipper that she's trying to chase away. "The Wangsheng Funeral Parlour is not a mailroom! Zhongli dammit, where did he run off to, anyways?"

Zhongli is busy, he really is. He still has so much to prepare for the Rite, and with the newfound knowledge of his identity spreading across Liyue like a tsunami. His previous purchases and orders are being expedited, his new ones are pushed to the front of the priority queue. All he can say is, everything is going swimmingly!

…

Sighs.

He missed being incognito already. There were so many stares wherever he went and people whispering all around him, and worst still coming up to him with condolences, which is extremely awkward because Rex Lapis isn’t actually dead but obviously Zhongli can’t tell anyone about that. So he just has to smile and pretend to be sad and accept their well wishes like a fraud.

Which means he’s hiding on the rooftop of Bubu Pharmacy. Surely no one will find him here.

“Hi, Zhongli!”

“Lumine, Paimon,” Zhongli greets miserably.

“What are you doing here?” Lumine says, folding up her wind glider.

“Just enjoying the sights,” he sighs. “What about the both of you?”

“We’re here to look for you,” Lumine says.

“That’s right!” Paimon nods enthusiastically. “We need your help! Do you know where Yanfei is? We need her help for a commission!”

“Oh,” Zhongli says, pleasantly surprised at the notion that he’s not the target of attention. “Yes, you should be able to find her at Yujing Terrace… if not, you can ask Granny Ping for where she might be.”

“Oh, great,” Paimon claps. “That’s the first thing down! Second, will you go down to the Harbour with us?”

Oh, so his presence is still needed. Ugh. But it’s Lumine and Paimon, so he can afford them the benefit of doubt. “Why?” Zhongli asks skeptically.

“It’s nothing bad, I promise!” Paimon shakes her head. “It’s just, Xinyan was looking for you, and we told her that we’ll tell you to find her if we spotted you!”

Lumine inclines her head in amusement. “I know you’re really here to hide from the crowd… but something tells me you’ll like what she has to say.”

Zhongli goes to find Xinyan immediately, but they relocate to a more secluded area to chat (read: Zhongli drags her back to the rooftop of Bubu Pharmacy, inadvertently startling Qiqi who’s perched by the window like a sunning cat).

"Um, Mr Zhongli…" Xinyan stares bashfully at the ground, swinging her feet. "I have… a question to ask you…"

"Yes?" Zhongli asks.

"You… um… remember when you asked me to play at Rex Lapis's funeral… did you really mean it?"

Zhongli blinks. "Of course I meant it."

"B-but…" Xinyan wrings her hands on her shirt. "Not that I get to say how you would like to plan our Lord's - and your own father's funeral! But I don't even know if it's appropriate or if Lord Rex Lapis would like my music-"

"Oh, Xinyan," Zhongli says. "My father would absolutely love your music." Probably. But he’s dead, he doesn’t get to have an opinion. What’s important, of course, is that the attendees (Zhongli) likes the music.

Xinyan sniffs. "Really?"

"One of the last things he's said to me," Zhongli says, "is that he looks forward to the changes that the new generation of Liyue will bring.” He pauses. “One such innovation is your music."

Xinyan looks up… and Zhongli is surprised to see tears at the corner of her eyes. Did he upset her, somehow? 

But then she flings her arms around him, wailing. "Bwaaahhh! Zhongli!"

Zhongli can only laugh, and pats her on the back. "There, there…"

She sobs in his arms for a bit more, then sniffs and rubs her eyes. "Oh my god, I'm sorry, I didn't know what came over me… but to hear that my Archon approves of my passion… I mean… If… the offer is still open for me to play-"

"Yes it is!" Zhongli says excitedly. "It would be delightful!" 

Xinyan looks briefly taken aback at his enthusiasm… and then beams. "You got it, Zhongli! I'll make this the most banging funeral ever, I promise y- wow, I'm so sorry for saying that."

Zhongli pats her on the shoulder. "No. I agree. Please make this the most banging funeral ever."

Childe does not have great diplomatic patience. He also does not have close-reading patience. However, the one thing he does have is…

…A lot of money.

So he hires the best lawyer in Liyue, half-adeptus law consultant extraordinaire, Ping Yanfei, to go over The God of Contract's 300 page contract on one Harbinger Tartaglia Childe Ajax's terms and conditions for stay in the nation of Liyue.

"Hmmm," Yanfei says, scanning the contract, as Morax sips his tea. "Clause 547. You must learn to use chopsticks."

"What?!" Childe wails.

Morax sniffs. "If you do not show basic respect for one of the simplest culinary traditions in Liyue history, I don't believe that you'll make a considerable… diplomatic impact."

Childe sniffs. "I'll learn it. Zhongli gave me a super nice pair anyways, I need to be able to use it properly."

Yanfei opens her mouth.

"Excuse me?" Morax says.

Yanfei shuts her mouth.

"Um, uh," Childe says, wondering if he's put his foot into his mouth again. "He. gave me a pretty nice pair of chopsticks? I didn't exploit him, I promise! In fact, I paid for it myself! Wait, I think I have it somewhere in one of the drawers… uh huh, oh, I found it, here it is- AAAAAHHHH!!!"

Childe shrieks as his desk splinters under a geo construct.

Chapter Text

“Young Master.” Xiao materialises in a burst of green and black feathers.

Xinyan screams. Yunjin slaps a hand over her mouth. Zhongli greets, “hello, Xiao.”

The rest of the crowd in Liyue Harbour turn to glance at them curiously, making Xiao’s look sheepish. To the girls he says, “apologies for startling you.”

“Mmph!” says Xinyan.

“You’re the Guardian Yaksha Xiao!” Yunjin says brightly. “I was just asking Lord Zhongli about what happened during the fight at the Jade Chamber! I write and perform operas, you see, and I was thinking about turning that spectacular scene into a play-”

Xiao twitches, and looks over at Zhongli for help.

“Ahem,” Zhongli says, as Xinyan extricates herself from Yunjin’s grip and gasps for air. “Is something the matter, Xiao?” Xiao is not one for social visits.

“Yes,” Xiao says. “There is a matter of utmost importance that requires your immediate attention.”

Yunjin and Xinyan look worried. Zhongli frowns, and scans the harbour - it’s intact, no giant sea monsters or banished gods breaking out of their seal, no dead archons returning to life, no Harbingers wrecking houses. “What happened?”

Xiao clears his throat. “Perhaps this is better discussed elsewhere.”

Xiao deposits him outside of Cloud Retainers abode.

“SIT DOWN AND CHILL OUT FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, MORAX!”

“I WILL NEVER LET YOU GET YOUR HANDS ON YOUNG MASTER, HARBINGER!”

“I PROMISE TO LOVE AND CHERISH AND APPRECIATE HIM IF YOU PLEEEEEEASE LET ME GO!”

“LORD MORAX, OF ALL THE STUPID, RECKLESS STUNTS YOU HAVE PULLED-”

“PLEEEEEASE DON’T KILL ME THE TSARITSA WOULD BE SUPER, ER, MAD, I HOPE SO, I’M JUST AN INNOCENT DIPLOMAT!”

“MISTER CHILDE, AS YOUR LAWYER I HAVE TO ADVISE YOU TO PLEASE STOP TALKING! ANYTHING YOU SAY CAN BE HELD AGAINST YOU IN COURT-”

“ARE YOU PREPARED TO FACE THE WRATH OF THE ROCK, AJAX CHILDE TARTAGLIA?!”

“DO YOU WANT TO MAKE ZHONGLI MADDER AT YOU, YOU BLOCKHEAD? DO NOT CRUSH HIS BOYFRIEND!”

“MY LORD, PLEASE, THE HARBINGER ISN’T WORTH IT!”

“HEY!”

“SHUT UP!”

“Oh Archons,” Zhongli says, despairingly. 

Shenhe - who had been doing her best to avoid the aoe of destruction, perched on a rock in the perimeter watching the fight dissolve with wide eyes - is the first to spot him. She darts over like a startled mouse. “Young Master,” she whispers.

“Hi,” Zhongli whispers back. “What is going on?”

She blinks at him with wide eyes, then leans forward. “You proposed to the Harbinger, Young Master?”

“I- what?! No, I didn’t?!” Zhongli says, perhaps a tad bit louder than intended.

Many gazes snap over in their direction. 

Then the second bomb explodes.

“ZHONGLI!”

“A-LI!”

“YOUNG MASTER!”

“ZHONGLI SAVE MEEEE!”

“GRAB THE HARBINGER AND GO, I’LL HOLD OFF MORAX!”

“UNHAND ME, BARBATOS!”

“ZHONGLI, YOU INSOLENT BRAT, OF ALL THE POSSIBLE MORTALS-”

“YOUNG MASTER, HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHAT HE TRIED TO DO-”

“-AJAX CHILDE TARTAGLIA? CHILDE AJAX TARTAGLIA, THE HARBINGER? REALLY?”

“ZHONGLI!!!”

Zhongli panics. “Xiao! Crowd control!”

“...If you’re sure, young master,” Xiao says, and pulls out his spear.

Turns out, flying anemo-construct spears really does wonders in getting people to calm down. 

Or at least, getting people distracted enough from whatever they were originally yelling about, to yell about the flying anemo-construct spears instead.

Zhongli swoops in to rescue Childe, who is cuffed to a geo construct protruding from the ground. Zhongli says, “really?”

“It’s not my fault I got kidnapped by your overprotective father,” Childe says glumly, the same time Father says, “I don’t give my blessing. I refuse.”

“I don’t need your blessing,” Zhongli snarks. “Wait, what are we talking about?”

“Your marriage to the Harbinger!” Father snarls.

“Since when are we married?!” Zhongli says. “Wait, that’s what Shenhe said.” Shenhe is resolutely avoiding eye contact and hiding behind Ganyu and Cloud Retainer.

Father crosses his arms, and the mountain shakes. As Hu Tao would call him, drama queen. “You gave him a dowry.”

“...What? No, I didn’t.”

“Don’t lie to me. I saw it.”

“No, I didn’t! Why would I marry Childe? I like him-” (“I like you too, Zhongli!” “Not now, stupid!”) “-but I would not give or accept a dowry at this stage in our relationship! What kind of person do you think I am?!”

Father opens his mouth.

Barbatos slaps a hand over it. “Now, I’m sure this was all a misunderstanding.”

“A misunderstanding?!” Father’s muffled voice says. Barbatos squeaks as Father swats him on his hat.

“Hey, Zhongli,” Childe says. “Remember the, uh, chopsticks you gave me that one time? The really expensive ones?”

“The chopsticks?” Zhongli furrows his brow. “Yes, I think I do.”

“Uh huh, right,” Childe says. “Do you - um, just to double check, do they happen to have any symbolic meaning behind them?”

Yanfei hops forward to interject. “Ahem! I was holding onto the evidence. May I present the gold and lacquer dragon and phoenix patterned chopsticks invoiced to the Northland Bank at 128,000 mora?”

The dragon and phoenix patterned chopsticks - a wedding dowry - oh, okay. “Father, seriously?” Zhongli scolds, and summons a geo spear to stab through Childe’s cuffs. Childe shrieks a little. “You of all people should know about the nuances of meanings. The chopsticks could symbolize a prosperous business partnership!”

Father sniffs. “And what business did you even have with the Harbinger?”

“I was a consultant and guide as he is a foreign diplomat,” Zhongli says, hacking the last bit of rock away and pulling Childe to his feet. 

“Yep, totally, just an ordinary business partnership here,” Childe says, and visibly withers when Father directs a glare at him.

Zhongli rolls his eyes. “What were you two doing, anyways? Why did the chopsticks even come up in conversation?”

There’s a pause. Father says, “I’m simply ensuring the best interests for my nation and screening the Harbinger for his suitability for stay.”

Zhongli points an accusatory finger at him. “You’re dead. You don’t get to screen anything. Stop meddling.”

“I have agreed to step back from my role as Liyue’s archon, not as your father.”

“Stop meddling in my personal relationships.”

“Your attachment to the Harbinger is just a phase.”

“It’s not a phase - I’m not attached!” Zhongli burns in embarrassment. “Where did you even hear all these - these rumors!”

“You’re holding his hand right now,” Father points out dryly.

“To drag him away from you!” Zhongli fumes. “And why are we even talking about Childe and I - not that there is any we to consider, for the record. But,” to the rest of the adepti, “I thought you were all mad at Father!”

“We are,” Cloud Retainer sniffs. “However, your attachment to the Harbinger takes precedence over our Lord’s misgivings.”

“Excuse me,” Father says.

“You are excused,” Cloud Retainer says primly.

“I am not attached!” Zhongli says.

Childe tugs at his hand. “...Not that hanging out with you all isn’t… er, great and all, but I kind of had one last report I needed to pass on to Signora before her boat leaves-”

“No,” Father snaps. “We have not finished going over the contract.”

“Th- WHAT CONTRACT?!” Zhongli demands.

“The contract for one Harbinger Tartaglia Childe Ajax's terms and conditions for stay in the nation of Liyue!” Yanfei says brightly.