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He wanted to tell him that he loved him, but it felt like a lie.
Neito wasn’t sure if he actually loved Izuku. What if he was overthinking it all? What if instead of feeling love towards him it was simply happiness?
Izuku made him smile. Izuku broke down the walls of anger he built around himself. Izuku made him laugh, and not that obnoxious ugly annoying laugh, no, a genuine laugh. Izuku made him soft. Izuku shared his passions with Neito, and Neito shared his passions with Izuku.
They were friends, and they were happy together.
So maybe the warmth that bloomed around Izuku wasn’t love for Izuku but rather joyous contentment. However, did such contentment push people to lie in bed with a dorky grin as they recalled the last time they had a conversation with a certain someone? To read through texts and laugh at the conversation’s stupidity whilst also smiling ear to ear with a sense of nostalgia?
So maybe he blushed whenever Izuku was too close for comfort. Or when he was hugged. Or when their hands brushed.
And maybe his heart raced whenever the other complimented him. And maybe Izuku made him feel safe and comfortable. And maybe he was ready to drop everything if Izuku asked him to.
But didn’t people feel that with friends sometimes?
He was so fucking confused.
And it wasn’t like he had anyone to talk to about his feelings. His relationship with his classmates was at arm's length. Plus, everyone adored Izuku, and he could fuck up by telling people about his little crush on the other. After all, so many people already had a crush on Izuku.
The blonde threw his pencil to the ground and groaned. He pressed his palms against his face and leaned back, ignoring how his sketchbook was sliding off his lap. He was a mess. His feelings were a mess. His relationships were a mess. His life was a mess. His quirk was a mess. Hell, even his artwork was a mess.
Neito grumbled and removed his hands from his face. He stared up at the sky, hoping to find answers. Instead, he found the same blue-grey sky he saw every day. He sighed as he closed his sketchbook and put it into his bag.
Light footsteps resounded in the back. Neito didn’t turn and instead leaned down to grab his pencil. A light cough. Blue-grey eyes peeked up only to find the very person behind his inner turmoil.
Midoriya Izuku.
Yuueii’s golden boy.
The future number one hero.
The greatest friend.
His friend. Neito’s friend.
Midoriya Izuku. The second year with fluffy black and green hair. The teen with beautiful bright emerald eyes. The hero with a charismatic voice and a smart head on his shoulders. A hero .
Izuku, who had a soft loving heart. Izuku, who had the greatest laughs. Izuku, whose smiles made him feel all warm and fuzzy.
Izuku, who constantly broke his bones for others. Izuku, who had no sense of self-restraint. Izuku, who thought he needed to do it all. Izuku, who was oblivious to the ways he was loved.
Midoriya Izuku, who was remarkable in Neito’s eyes, in ways that were hard to describe.
“Neito?”
He could’ve sworn his heart stopped beating.
The blonde grumbled as he put his pencil away. “Yeah?”
“Are you alright?”
Neito blinked owlishly at the other.
Did he forget to mention Izuku was kind and cared a little too much?
He ignored the bitter part of him that was upset for worrying Izuku. He ignored the salty, fishy, uncomfortable taste on his tongue from the other’s concern. Izuku already had a lot on his plate. “‘m fine,” he muttered as he threw his bag on his shoulder.
Izuku tilted his head and looked absolutely fucking precious. “Are you sure? You seemed to be pretty frustrated earlier.”
Neito turned away from his friend and rolled his eyes. “Just feelings. They’re confusing.” What an understatement.
“You wanna talk about it?” Yes, he really did, but with Izuku himself? Hell, no.
“Nah,” he said, stretching, “I can deal with it myself.”
A flash of something flew in those green eyes. Izuku frowned before relaxing his expression. “If you say so.”
The blonde paused and tilted his head upon seeing Izuku’s frown. He put on a cocky grin, “I’m not pushing myself past limits. I’m not a certain A-Classer.”
Izuku froze and flushed. “Hey!”
Neito snickered as he trotted down the path to the dormitories with Izuku hot on his heels. Neito eventually stepped waywardly for the pair to walk side by side. Izuku’s hand brushed against Neito’s before holding it. The blonde nearly froze with their clasped hands but instead tightened his hold and scoffed. He ignored how Izuku beamed or how his ears flushed.
—----
Neito sat under the shade of a tree with Izuku right beside him. It wasn’t particularly hot, but the sun was beating at every surface it could touch. Izuku sipped his water before speaking, “You’re a good friend, you know?”
The blonde snorted. “I think you should better evaluate the meaning of a good friend.” Neito knew he was an asshole. He was well aware he was annoying. He knew that his process of thinking confused people and left him seen as rather unsympathetic. He had little experience with friendship due to quirk discrimination, so his understanding of friendship was shit.
He doubted he could be considered a good friend.
“Nope!” Izuku hummed. “I like you, and you genuinely care for me and show it. That means a lot.”
Neito almost choked on air. Instead, he scoffed. “I like you, too, and I do care about you. However, I don’t think that makes me a good friend.”
“Then perhaps, it makes you a good lover?”
“Pardon?”
Did he hear that correctly? Did he need to get his ears checked?
The blonde looked over to his friend only to find Izuku blushing and fiddling with his hands. The teen let out a nervous laugh. He turned to face Neito. “I’m asking you out.” He grinned. “I tried to be er- smooth about it- as Kaminari suggested, but I don’t think that I did a good job.”
“You-you're asking me out?” Neito blurted. “Why in the world?” He wasn’t anything special. He wasn’t extraordinary. He wasn’t amazing like Izuku. He didn’t deserve someone like Izuku.
“Because I love you. And before you go on talking about how you’re so annoying and that you’re an asshole, you really aren’t, Neito. I know you.”
Blush dusted Neito’s face. Hearing Izuku say ‘ I love you ’ confirmed all his worries. He did love Izuku. If he didn’t love Izuku, that phrase would mean little to him. It wouldn’t freeze him up, suck the heat from his body to warm his heart as it had. He buried his head into his knees. “Are you sure?” he muttered. “I’m going to fuck up, like, a lot.” He often was stranded alone to figure out his way in his confusing sea of emotions. He knew that would cause trouble when navigating their relationship hereon.
Hell, he hadn’t even believed his own heart telling him that he loved Izuku.
Izuku leaned onto him. “I’m sure. This would be our first time dating someone. Of course, we’re going to fuck up every now and then.”
Neito hummed. Izuku was right. It was expected to mess up sometimes—together. And Izuku said he was sure about dating him. He believed him.
He could feel Izuku playing with his hair. “So, what do you say? Boyfriends?”
“Yeah. Boyfriends.”
Perhaps, the smile that Izuku gave him was worth all their future troubles.
Little did Neito know, Izuku was thinking the same about the blonde.