Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

it was nothing out of the ordinary. 

gulf is familiar with hearing murmurs and ugly things said about him, having grown accustomed to being pushed around since he could remember. he thought he was an expert at tuning them out by now. but the words always clung to him, surfacing back when he only had himself as company. 

like a bad omen, gulf’s ears pick up the harsh whispers from whoever he passes by. 

this is the least he can do for the pack, what else—

what other use does he have?

they’ve been taking care of him and providing for him since his parents died, what a leech!

being the son of a deceased head alpha doesn’t mean shit if he’s an omega—

he’s not bad on the eyes, i’d grab a piece of that if it doesn’t work out—

the anger that blazes bright is the only constant gulf has known all this time. it had been eating at him for years. but anger was better. better than pain, grief, and fear. one wrong word, one wrong action, and there would be nobody to save him. life for gulf had always been more of surviving and less of living. 

dread weakening him with every step, gulf enters the head alpha’s cabin to wai at his uncle and stands silently. he wonders how dire the situation is that he was called back here for the first time in years. 

this being his father’s cabin previously, gulf swears the older alpha’s scent still lingered along with soft traces of his mother. he felt strange standing in the very own home that he was kicked out of. 

gulf imagines sometimes, what it would have been like if his parents were still alive. if the pack would still be fighting for their lives, all in vain.

this meeting was about the pack, gulf can tell. his uncle and his family barely acknowledged gulf’s existence, but it seemed like their time had come and no matter how much the pack wanted to stall, everything was going down bad. 

their worst fears have come to stare them right in the face.

despite his uncle's efforts to hold the pack in line after his parents died, he had failed miserably. sure, he took the head alpha’s cabin but couldn’t be what gulf’s father was or the alpha the pack needed. 

there was no scent of his uncle to claim ownership of the place, nothing to mark his residence for nearly ten years. 

it was pitiful to look at the older man, sitting alone in the chair that was once regal and held power. 

a beta could never be an alpha after all. though his uncle did try very hard to keep their dying pack alive. 

but still failed miserably.

of the once big and flourishing pack, there were barely ten of them left, just betas and omegas now. the demise of the head alpha and head omega brutally ate the pack from the inside. 

it started with what seemed like a rogue, stray wolf attacking and killing one of their alphas. then two, three, five, eight . and before they knew it, they were at war with an enemy they couldn’t see or understand. 

with the number of rogue wolves that killed their wolves, gulf always wondered if they were rogues at all. they could be a bloodthirsty pack sending out the so-called rogues to cover their tracks. 

and that’s exactly what happened. gulf was right.

the truth came to light one night when gulf was lurking around the pack house, hidden in the dense forest that marked the beginning of a thick forest. 

too many alphas were going missing, and out of a dozen, barely one or two alphas made it back badly injured, already on their deathbeds. 

these alphas weren’t survivors. 

they were warnings. 

nobody seemed to understand this. 

the pack alphas and some betas had gathered in the pack house for a meeting and spent hours coming up with strategies to take out a rogue wolf. 

how could a single rogue wolf cause this much damage, though? kill so many alphas by itself? something wasn’t adding up, and gulf was too immersed in thinking about the possibilities to realize he was caught. 

it was the incredulous laugh that had chilled his bones. as a result, he flinched so hard he fell to the ground, heart beating uncomfortably fast. a scream was stuck in his throat. 

gulf looked up to see that there was nobody around except for an alpha coming towards him, an all too pleased glint in his eyes thinly veiling the default hatred directed towards gulf.

“oh, it’s the head alpha’s son.” the words had made gulf’s skin crawl. 

gulf didn’t know the alpha’s name, but he recognized him as one of the troublesome, arrogant alphas that always picked fights. the meanest, and the most disgusting alpha of their pack. 

“you should be inside, omega. helping us.”

immediately, it had set something off in gulf so badly that he couldn’t move, his knees refusing to cooperate. 

he was barely able to hear what the alpha was saying, with his mouth feeling like he had swallowed sand. the panicked pulse beating away in his ears didn’t help in the slightest.

if someone else saw gulf here, he was done for. 

“you’ve grown up so well, always caught my eye.” oh, and how gulf nearly forgot that this alpha was completely fucking crazy. 

he had cornered gulf, looming over him and gulf had never felt more sick.

“now why don’t you be a good omega and let me use that—”

the alpha’s hand reached out to grab him. 

gulf’s blood turned cold and his instincts finally kicked in. 

he fled, barely looking at his surroundings as he went deeper into the forest. had to get away, he just had to get away. his vision was blurry and a whimper had slipped past his lips when he heard the alpha’s enraged voice not too far behind him. 

it was over for gulf if the alpha got his hands on him. 

the alpha would hunt him down, take what he wanted, and drag him back to the pack to show everyone what he had conquered, what he had done to gulf. 

so when a hand roughly clawed at his shirt, nearly getting a hold of him, gulf cried out, tears streaming down his cheeks in icy trails, and the fear that kicked up in him triggered a shift. 

disoriented for a second, gulf quickly gathered himself and sprinted faster in his wolf form, looking back to see the alpha still after him. 

the flight response was so overpowering that gulf couldn’t recall the details of what happened afterwards.

he just remembers running in a wide arc to try to get back to the pack and sometime during this, he had lost the alpha. 

but then the wind suddenly carried with it two unfamiliar scents that were so unmistakably alpha, the terror almost ate gulf alive. he didn’t think he would get back to the pack alive. 

not when he heard noises that would haunt him for a long time. pained whimpers and low growls, jaws, and teeth snapping. 

the smell of fresh blood. 

gulf hadn’t stopped until he reached his small cabin, a truly miraculous feat for him.

he had only shifted back to lock the door behind him, trembling and shivering so violently, even his teeth chattered, and stumbled around to find whatever clothes and furs he could to pile on himself. he was alright, he was safe, gulf kept reminding himself over and over again.

it took a week to brave a step outdoors. 

his kind neighbors, an old beta couple, had checked up on him and gave him food. 

gulf had been grateful for once that he was surrounded all around by other similar cabins, mostly older couples, and nobody to disturb him. 

losing many nights of sleep over this, he so desperately wanted to tell someone. 

to talk to someone before he drove himself crazy. but he was an omega and nobody would believe him. 

so most of his energy went into protecting himself, not drawing attention to himself, and making sure that he didn’t cross any wolf — especially an alpha’s — path when he was by himself after what happened last time. 

he had become a prisoner in his own home. 

when gulf finally decided to step out, the pack was awfully quiet. like something grave had taken place. 

and it did. 

there was a mass cremation happening that evening, and gulf nearly dropped his food when he heard someone talk about it. 

it wasn’t until he was standing with the rest of the pack as they mourned with the light from the flames dancing on their grim faces that gulf found out what all had happened while he was losing his mind by himself. 

they found the alpha’s body torn to shreds by the edges of their pack territory just a couple of days ago. the wolves that went to investigate came back in similar ways.

gulf couldn’t help it when satisfaction bled through the fear. he couldn’t have cursed the alpha with a worse death. 

but there was a pattern here. 

they were all alpha deaths. again. 

gulf wouldn’t be standing here if they wanted him dead. 

it was another warning. and a very personal one at that.

gulf knew it then. 

this was barely the beginning of the end. 

sure enough, these deaths caused the most damage that they couldn’t recover from. 

like child’s play, the rogues lured the alphas and hunted them like sport, or in some horrid cases later, chased them into their very pack grounds and killed them. 

no alpha was spared. 

not even the ones that tried to run away from the pack. they always found the bodies a few mornings later, mangled beyond recognition. 

their last alpha was killed a week ago and with every passing hour, gulf knew they were simply waiting for their turns. 

“there was a message sent with the last alpha. this massacre stops if we surrender what they want.” monotonous, his uncle’s voice didn’t prepare gulf for what he was about to hear. “they want you. an omega. the head alpha’s omega son, specifically.” 

the horror that struck gulf, he was not strong enough to bear it. 

he couldn’t breathe. 

his heart squeezed painfully, jumping up to his throat in protest. 

and his legs barely held him up. 

“they’re alphas and we don’t have any left to…” gulf was not able to take in what was being said. 

they . 

his uncle said they . so he knew now. that it wasn’t just a rogue wolf. 

they were really up against ruthless rogues that somehow managed to form a pack. gulf was right. he had heard them that night, how violent they were. 

and he was still being sacrificed for a painfully obvious ruse. 

it didn’t matter if the pack gave gulf away. they were all still going to die anyway. 

they just didn’t know. 

and gulf thought for a moment if he should tell his uncle what happened that night. 

“...you’re more useful to them than us here. we will be sending you off in two days. say your goodbyes." 

so gulf doesn’t open his mouth. 

just nods like the obedient omega they expect him to be. 

he gazes into his uncle’s cold, indifferent eyes that never showed an ounce of care and leaves the head alpha’s cabin. 

gulf doesn’t register anything around him as he walks through the empty pack grounds and towards his cabin. 

once inside, standing still in the small space that was his house for the last ten years, gulf realizes he never made it home. 

he barely lived. he had no friends, never fell in love, or had anybody to look after him for a very long time. 

it now came down to this. to be sacrificed to a violent wolf pack and be killed or tortured until they had their fun. 

the anger gulf had been suppressing for years comes back like a dam breaking apart and eats at him like a starved animal. all the mistreatment he faced by the pack comes up bubbling to the surface too fast. 

everyone hated him or wanted to harm him. hurt him. in some or the other way. 

his body tightens, trembling every once in a while as gulf keeps himself in check from not reacting. he can’t afford to draw attention to himself now, not when he barely has a few hours to himself. 

gulf is actually surprised that they didn’t tie him up somewhere already. 

this pack was bound to die, it was inevitable.  

and of course, gulf could guess how he could be of use to a pack full of rogue alphas. he could beg for death and they still wouldn’t give it to him. he would die every day for the rest of his life while keeping up with their abuse. 

gulf has to leave. 

he had no clue how, though and there was nobody to help him. they were surrounded by the rogues, and it wouldn’t even be a chase for them to catch him. 

their pack was perfectly cornered to the south, with nothing but the sea on one side and the other side being the very forest the rogues occupied. 

as gulf failed to come up with a plan and was losing hope, he was sure of one thing. he would rather die than let any of the rogues lay a hand on him. 

perhaps the sea could welcome him and he can finally be free, peaceful. no one would miss him anyway. 

it was while he was reflecting on the short nineteen winters of his life that he thought back to the night the alpha chased him. if only he had run somewhere far away instead of running back to the pack. it did him no good anyway. 

and then he remembered. 

the route to the north, which they avoided at all costs. 

gulf frantically searched through the drawers of his little, wobbly desk and finally found the map that his father had drawn for him years ago. 

he must have been barely ten winters - his last year with his parents - when his father sat down one evening to draw their pack lands on a piece of leather for him. 

gulf remembers carrying it everywhere, proud to have his home in the palm of his hands. 

carefully unrolling the map, gulf finds the writing has faded a long time ago. 

he can still feel the indents of where his father pressed his quill against the leather while marking the map. that, paired with the fading ink, was enough for him to get a rough idea. 

he had to go north. even the rogues would hesitate to follow him there. 

towards the mountains. 

and if the red line marking the map was any indication, gulf should be avoiding that area at any cost. 

too bad gulf never found out why though. 

the memory of his father's explanation was way too hazy, and he was too young back then to even bother asking his parents, and shortly after their deaths, nobody bothered to talk to him about anything. 

he had become the pack outcast.

bringing the map up to his nose, gulf doesn’t know if he’s lost it at this point. but when he finally gets a weak, barely there whiff of his father's scent, gulf breaks down. 

he curls up on the floor and cries like he has lost everything. 

cries until his eyes are swollen and lashes clumped together stiffly from his tears. a blocked nose, leaving him gasping for air and coughing through a painfully tight throat, leaving his chest heavy with sobs.

gulf needs to escape tonight. 

he might not see the light of the day if he stepped into the marked-off area, but he could not, for the life of him, give himself away to the rogue wolves. 

gulf doesn’t know what lies in the northern lands, whose territories he will have to cross. he has no idea if or how long he’ll survive as a lone wolf, but he would rather die trying. 

he goes for dinner after cleaning himself up to look as normal as possible. interestingly, nobody seems to be whispering about him anymore, and he guesses no one really expects him to rebel, scream or cry.

they all think he will listen.

even with absolutely no appetite, he forces himself to eat. there was no guessing when he could eat again after leaving pack land tonight. no one tries to talk to him and his uncle makes no appearance as usual. 

getting back to his cabin, gulf packs a small satchel with a change of clothes in case he needs to shift somewhere and waits for the pack to sleep. apart from his old neighbors, there is nobody left to occupy the shabby cabins surrounding them. 

as he opens the door to check outside, it’s empty, the shrunken pack fast asleep, quiet. 

gulf is calm as he walks to the edge of the forest, shifts, picks up the satchel with his teeth, and enters the forest without looking back even once.

he doesn’t feel anything as the distance between himself and the pack grows, it wasn’t his home for years. 

gulf remains on high alert, attuned to the forest for any scents or sounds. it’s eerily quiet, except for the occasional hoot of the owls. 

determined to cover as much distance as possible, he does it with a suspicious convenience, hoping it’s just his luck. 

barely stopping by a stream to drink some water, gulf is on the run the entire night and the next day with just a few minutes of rest in between. 

initially concerned about running in circles, gulf soon discovers how quickly the surroundings and the trees change the faster he goes, sheer relief sprouting in his heart. 

the obvious differences that he cannot ignore become apparent to him on the third day. gulf can't ignore the incline of the ground, the temperature drop, and he is aware of how far he has traveled by how much his body aches and protests. 

the fact that he hasn't yet encountered any wolves or predators seems too good to be true.

apart from the two rabbits he managed to hunt, gulf keeps his stomach light, afraid of slowing down. he won’t stop until he finds someplace safe. 

if not his pack, the rogues must be after him now. and that just makes gulf run faster. 

luck runs out on his fourth day. 

the weary wolf, who hasn't been able to hunt again, with just some winks of sleep, shifts back. 

gulf sluggishly clothes himself as he stumbles forward, and by the time he collapses beside a tree with his eyesight blurring, he's losing his bearings. the struggle to remain awake is laced with desperation.

however, his body gives in, and he is unable to fight off sleep any longer.

the omega then passes out, deep into the territory of the northern pack recognized for its vicious and powerful leaders, massive wolves, and large pack numbers.

he ends up in a territory that even the rogues fear.

after what feels like barely an hour, gulf awakens to witness his worst nightmare brought to life. voices, potent scents, and rough ropes biting at his ankles and wrists jolt him up.

alphas. 

three of them. 

a knee is digging into gulf's back and that itself was a bad enough, defenseless position for him to be in. 

"let me go!" gulf had yelled, screamed, and struggled with all his might, attempting to throw off the hands holding him down, but all it got him was a gag. 

gulf didn't want to die like this. not when he made it this far. 

“should’ve thought of that before you entered our territory.” an alpha scoffs, hauling gulf to his feet and pushing him deeper into what gulf assumes is the pack territory. 

they weren’t rogues but gulf barely feels any relief. he contemplates shifting and trying to escape but a glance at the other two alphas and their gazes locked on him kills the idea. 

something told gulf these alphas were better unprovoked. the sun was getting lower on the horizon and it would be getting dark soon. gulf didn’t know what kind of a pack this was. 

while the alphas with him didn’t look like savages, they didn’t look kind either. 

perhaps it was the thin furs they wore, but they looked bulkier, their skin paler than gulf’s own and shades lighter than the people of his former pack.  

a few angry tears streamed down his cheeks even when tried his best to stop them from spilling over. if only he hadn’t passed out, he would have crossed these pack lands too. 

“we need to take him to phi before his hunt.” another alpha spoke up suddenly and a hand brushed gulf’s nape. it has him twisting around with a snarl, heart pounding in fear and anger.

how dare an alpha touch his neck? he couldn't risk getting grabbed and bitten. 

surprised, the alpha flinches, taken aback, surprise clear on his face. which morphs into something angry, murderous. 

the gag does nothing to stop gulf from snapping his teeth in warning, the cloth slipping between his bared teeth, blood boiling further. for a crazy moment, he wonders if he can take on these alphas and kill them before they take him deeper into the pack.  

of course, he doesn’t get to think further when a deep voice breaks the silence. 

“oh, what do we have here?” 

from that moment onwards, everything spiraled out of gulf’s control. 

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

this was getting a little too repetitive for him. mew could fall asleep to this if it didn’t get on his nerves. 

“i have lost count on how many omegas you have rejected. don’t be stuck up on something stupid and just get a damn omega, it’s high time now! your capability as an alpha is coming into question here.” 

don’t react , mew thought to himself, unable to control the clench of his jaw. just let him talk. as provoking as it was. 

all he had to do was just wait until his father was done ranting and then mew could go and deal with his frustration next with a good hunt.

the younger alpha did want to add his very valid thoughts and reasons to his father’s statements, but the last time that happened, it nearly ended in a physical fight.

so silence it is. 

unfazed, he stares at his father. mew has no expectations of being understood in the least. 

as he observed him, mew was once again reminded that they were not very much alike. with mew gracing more of his mother’s features, at times like these, he was more than happy about that. 

mew’s father, the head alpha, is a spectacular leader. he was a good father too until mew started to see things from new angles. it had recently become a point of tension between him and his father, who was adamant that mew take an omega.

in several instances, mew narrowly avoided jeopardizing his relationship with his father by biting his tongue at the last second.

mew has started to perceive his father a little differently ever since his mother unintentionally revealed that she felt neglected by him. that was sure to come with having three omegas. 

he’s slightly bitter about it. but at the same time, he can’t demand otherwise from his father; it’s not his place. it also wasn’t something frowned upon. 

there were some alphas with more than one omega mate. his own younger brother did. 

as much as mew wants his mother to be happy, he doesn’t hate his extended family. 

as a pup, mew never questioned why he had two new mothers who had moved in with them only a year apart. newborn pups and new sleeping arrangements kept him distracted enough. 

the new omegas were both quite kind to him, and he was simply told to call them "mother" as well. to this day, zee and bright’s mother, a kind woman, always made sure to ask mew if he had eaten whenever she saw him. 

tul and little thanya’s mother, a male omega, sometimes joined mew on his emotional runs or always kept a spare change of clothes at mew’s self-proclaimed spot close to the forest. 

mew lived to hunt, to fight, and he often caught big game during his practices . he loved the feeling of victory and accomplishment, as he saw respect and admiration shining in the eyes of his pack mates whenever they looked at him. 

his family supported him too, and prided in him. 

mew wouldn’t trade his family or pack for anything, but being the firstborn came with a price. 

it didn’t matter that his father had five strong, capable children, able and ready to lead the pack at a moment’s notice. 

it was mew’s duty.

and his alone.

mew was responsible for giving the pack an heir. and he understands that. 

he just doesn’t see the urgency yet, with his father still going strong and healthy. mew was content with the fact that he wouldn't have to hold the position of head alpha anytime soon.  

but his father was running out of patience for some reason mew couldn’t relate to. and so was the pack, from the looks of it.

“you leave me no choice.” mew’s attention snaps back to his father. he looked resolved, and mew knew that whatever the alpha had decided would be final. 

and he wouldn’t like it in the slightest .  

“if you don’t find an omega in a week, you will be dismissed as the lead for hunting and acquisition. i overheard some elders questioning your scope as the next head alpha. you have no awareness of how important this is for you.”

no.

mew’s eyes widened in disbelief. 

there was absolutely no way he was hearing this absurdity. 

“ what ? father, i– you can’t be serious!” he scoffed, pushing away the worry coming through. this was too reckless of an ultimatum. 

he always led the hunts and raids. nobody could do it better than him, the whole pack knew that. they wouldn’t– couldn’t toss him aside like that, could they? 

the look on his father’s face answered all of mew’s questions. this wasn’t his father talking, this was the head alpha. 

and this was a punishment. 

snatching away the things he loved to do the most. blackmailed like a weakling. his father has never used his power on mew like this. 

temper rising, mew steps forward and slams his hands on the desk, looking down at his father. “do you think i'm still a pup, father? for you to threaten me like that?”

visibly bristling, his father stands, though mew is still taller than him. 

“i’m not doing anything. i don’t need to, mew.” with a cruel, cold look in his eyes, the head alpha reminds him. truth always has teeth. “the pack will overthrow you at a moment of your weakness.”

as much as he hates to admit, mew was powerless in this argument. 

his father sighs, like he wasn’t keen on having this conversation, and walks to the window, looking at the setting sun. 

“i need an heir from you, son. the pack needs it. this is our pack, and we need to continue our bloodline.” 

when his father turns to look at him, the sunlight falls on his face in angles that make him look older. tired. 

“i have waited long enough for you to choose a mate of your choice, but you never did. the pack will only deem you capable when you take an omega and have pups.”

that killed whatever little sympathy was starting to bud.

“so it has come down to me taking and breeding an omega to show my capability as an alpha?” mew seethed. 

he was starting to entertain the colorful ideas of how he could replace the pack elders but he couldn’t go against the whole pack. 

the head alpha was as powerful as his pack made him. 

his father finally loses his patience, voice rising. he looks at mew like he’s dealing with an immature pup and it only irritates mew because at this point he feels like one. 

mew knows he's already lost the argument, but he’ll be damned if he stops arguing. 

"this is how it's always been!” his father exclaims. “i gave you complete freedom, so you never understood the weight on your shoulders. you must now take this seriously, mew. put in some damn effort!”

“all i did was acquire more pack land all this time, father!” mew had scars to show for the fights he had won and the attacks he saved the pack from. 

“don’t make it sound like i had my merry way and created problems for you. i made this pack into what it is today.” there was a reason the pack saw him more as a warrior and less as a pampered head alpha’s son. 

mew’s father was once proud of him but he doesn’t see an ounce of it at this moment.

“and i don’t disagree, but that’s all useless without an omega.” his father continues, adamant. “the pack omegas fear you, and you only contribute to that at every given chance. i bring someone from outside the pack, you refuse to even meet them and go hunting instead. what the hell are you even trying to do here?”

truly, mew had no reason. he simply did not want to be tied to an omega. there was no omega that made him feel things. instead, he would rather spend time by himself doing things he enjoyed. there was never a time when he went to his cabin and felt the need for an omega’s presence. 

at this point, they were both stating facts that were justified in their way, but that didn’t mean mew was even a little bit happy about it. 

“even your younger brothers have mates. zee, tul. bright will be next, but you? regardless of how many pups your brothers have, they won’t be heirs.” oh, mew didn’t even want to go there. 

it had come to a point where he grimaced whenever he saw his brothers with their mates. it only made him feel pressured. even his mothers look at him in thinly veiled worry every time he comes over and everybody is already paired up. he would be the odd one out. 

a deep frown settles on his father’s brows, impatience wrinkling the corners of his mouth. 

“you just want to conquer and fight. we don’t just conquer land here, we rule the pack too, and for that you, need to form relations.” 

yes, just like you did, and it still hurts my mother to this day. mew was sure of one thing though. he’d be damned before he mated an omega for mergers.

“if zee had not claimed new after your disappearance, goddess luna knows what would have happened.” 

“i didn’t force him, zee was willing.” mew made sure. he made sure of it. that zee was not simply jumping into his rescue.

zee was aware that mew wouldn’t show up that day. but every time mew sees saint, he finds it difficult to look him in the eye. 

“for the pack, mew! he did it for the pack. the very pack that you’re supposed to lead but show no commitment to. all this time, you’ve been a protector, but you’ve never been a provider. and an alpha that is not a provider, is not an alpha at all.” 

the head alpha’s words are a low blow and act as the perfect guilt trip. after all, mew had done, his father had still dismissed his status as an alpha. 

mew stubbornly remains quiet, hating the helplessness creeping up, and doesn’t acknowledge his father walking away. 

“we’re done talking. you have a week, until the end of the festival. get an omega, mew or else you’ll be kicked out of the upcoming raid in two weeks.” rubbing his palms down his face roughly, mew’s gaze wandered around the now empty room. 

as much as he wanted to break something, it wouldn’t be enough and mew wouldn’t realize until he wrecked the whole room. 

mew desperately needs to be on that raid. they were going for the pack that betrayed them. it was the very pack that put his little brother, bright in danger. mew’s bloodlust would simply kill him if he wasn’t the one leading this attack. 

his father wants an omega? the pack wants mew to take an omega? 

fine. 

mew was going to get an omega and show everyone just how much of an alpha he was. 

while stalking towards the woods through the pack, he noticed that the sun was just moments away from setting. 

festive decorations greeted him everywhere, and people were making their way to the bonfire for a prayer before supper. 

as much as mew didn’t want to, he still believed this was an important festival for them at the end of summer. the wolves prayed for wellbeing, safety, love, and food for the rest of the year. 

many auspicious ceremonies and rituals took place over the period of two weeks, which only marked the beginning of many more festivals to come soon. 

the next immediate, big celebration was a couple of weeks away, a festival of fertility, and no wonder, mew’s father gave him the ultimatum. 

irritation only rising, mew pays no mind to the happenings around him and steps into the woods, going to his favorite spot. as expected, there’s a small cloth parcel with some sweets made by tul’s mother. 

it cheers him up slightly. he'll think about the trouble he’s in after his hunt. he was not in the right mind to interact rationally with anyone, if the fast pumping of his blood and his tense muscles are any indications.

sinking his teeth deep into something soft and feeling the break of a bone under his jaw was all he needed. 

he was just tugging off the shirt from his shoulders when mew heard voices, a snarl, and he paused. 

mew generally doesn’t bother with things like this. it could be pups scuffling playfully if anything. 

until an unexpected foreign scent hits him. 

on guard, mew quickly follows it. the familiar scent of their patrol wolves also wafts with the breeze. still, unable to place a finger on this new scent, mew sees him first before getting a stronger, clearer whiff of the distressed scent. 

a little distance away, he’s met with exactly what he expected. 

an omega. 

oh, now is a bad, bad time for any omega that crosses mew’s path. 

now that he was in proximity, he didn’t know how the alphas weren’t all over the omega already. 

that scent , mew haven’t smelled anything so tantalizing before. oh so tender , but goddamn the way mew’s mouth watered. when his nose sniffs out the alphas again, he hates it. 

hates the presence of any other alpha around this omega. except for mew. like no one else deserved to have this scent around them. 

mew wants the alphas gone. right this second. 

“oh, what do we have here?” it nearly comes out as a growl, and mew is too distracted and curious to even question it. but that definitely explains why the alphas flinch in surprise, eyes shooting towards him and postures straightening. 

the alphas looked like they were on the verge of attacking the bound omega. 

now though, their faces pale, which mew finds very interesting. all attention is on him as they greet him, the omega forgotten. 

the omega that takes a step back after noticing mew. 

“khun mew,” an alpha starts. “t-this omega trespassed into our territory.”

at his mention, the omega tries to talk, but the gag fails him. with eyes flitting everywhere, mew can pinpoint the moment fear sets in the omega.

good , mew muses. 

the pack doesn’t take trespassers lightly.

though from just a head to toe scan of the boy’s worn out clothes and the lack of scents prove that this omega truly was alone. probably a run away. 

mew truly thinks about the prospects a stray omega — this stray omega — can have. either an alpha gets to pick him up, or the omega is put to work in the rut house, or worst of all, gets interrogated and killed if found suspicious. 

and for someone running out of time like mew, this opportunity seemed too good to be true. this was too convenient, like the omega fell from the sky and into their pack land. 

just for him. 

all for him.

“trespasser, huh?”

“we were just bringing him to you, phi.” a shove from the patrol alpha, and the omega falls on the ground with a muffled sound, almost eating dirt. 

“were you, now? what was taking you three so long to drag a lone omega to me?” mew questions, eyes hard and jaw set. he knows these alphas were too young to think of rebelling and disobeying mew but he still had to show that he always had the upper hand. “had other plans?”

while the omega struggles to sit up, mew walks closer, keeping his eye away from him. 

the alphas exchange worried and confused looks, and mew waits for them to process his question. 

finally, an alpha speaks up. “no. no, khun mew! we are on our way to bring him to you! you know we always report to you–”

“where did you find him?” satisfied, mew cuts him off. 

the alphas hesitate to answer, but something on mew’s face makes them stutter. mew thinks of what to do with these alphas and makes mental notes to strengthen their patrols. 

a pack as large as theirs couldn’t afford to have a blind spot.  

“just…just past the inner circle.” it is a miracle that the omega ended up this deep in their pack ground. their patrolling was really that trashy tonight. 

“he—the omega wasn’t there for long, phi. we found him quickly.” 

“found him in the pack lands, inside the borders, in our territory.” it goes without saying that these three wolves were in trouble. “i can see just how well you’re patrolling. go to my father’s cabin and report every little detail. i’ll be right behind you and i want you three gone before i get there.” 

“of course, phi. as—as you say, we’ll be…you won’t see us there. we’ll go right now...” mew doesn’t hear what is being said because, a quick, casual glance at the omega and mew couldn’t look away. 

the omega's face was stained with dirt and dried tear trails. 

the gag over his lips, the bound wrists and feet, and most of all, the absolute rage and the shadows of fear in his eyes – switched something inside mew.

this omega looked like he wanted to kill mew and mew loved it. 

“oh, right. khun mew, should we take him—” the younger alphas are shuffling uncomfortably, and that’s when mew notices his own flared scent. mew didn’t even realize it. 

“i’ll take him,” mew’s statement is met with silence, so he looks at the younger wolves with a raised brow, daring them to question it. 

the alphas stare at him with their mouths open, definitely caught off guard by his initiative. after all, mew was infamous for running away from omegas, and he was doing the exact opposite. 

mew can see that they want to talk. ask more, ask why the head alpha’s son himself would bother with a trespasser. while he doesn’t think these alphas would keep the omega to themselves, he is certain the next alpha to lay eyes on the omega definitely would. 

and mew couldn’t let that happen. 

everything has to go through him first. he was too much of a control freak to let things go loose. 

“are you sure, phi? your hunt–”

with a glare, mew scowls. “leave before i hunt you down instead. and find my father. tell him i found what he wanted. ” 

he’s barely finished the sentence, and the alphas are gone, their quick footsteps receding. 

this omega screamed lots of trouble. and mew wanted all of it. 

for the first time, an omega held his interest. and this one looked like he could survive mew. 

nearing the omega, mew crouches to untie his roped feet. 

immediately, the omega snarls, scrambling away, twisting this way and that until mew quickly loses patience, grabs his ankle and roughly jerks him closer. the omega glides closer with ease, almost weightlessly.

“stay still,” mew barks out, looking into the omega’s eyes. the struggle stops and he is on high alert for any dirty moves the omega might pull when the rope comes loose and mew tosses it somewhere to the side. 

instead, doe eyes remain fixed on his face, and a formerly stern scowl has instantly softened into a glazed-over expression. for a moment, mew forgets what he was even here for until the omega’s breathing gets slightly louder, mouth still covered.

yanking the gag off, mew discovers a scorching blush covering the omega's face, extending from the shells of his small ears, all the way down to the neckline of his dusty shirt.

the alpha doesn’t know where to look as he feels the pounding of his heart and it takes him by surprise how captivated he is by this omega.

the last dying rays of the sun cast golden light on the omega’s face, making his eyes shimmer like crystals.

spellbound, mew is hungry to take in every little detail of this omega. strands of black hair fall into dark, round eyes, straight nose, pink hued cheeks, the narrow cut of his jaw leading to his full lips—

those chestnut lips. 

mew can stare at them forever. 

rubbed pink and raw from the rough gag, they have the alpha mesmerized, unable to look away. as a conqueror, the only thing mew now wants to conquer or hold as his own would be those lips and this omega who owns them.

his thinking is rendered blank by the loveliness of the omega’s face. heat steadily coils into a syrupy, heavy ball that tugs deliciously at his insides.

a sudden burst of the omega’s scent has mew stumped the fuck out of his mind. cocoa, and something sweet so heady that mew wants more . 

wants to taste it on his tongue. 

he finds himself leaning forward to breathe in the scent deeper before he can stop himself.

to mew’s surprise, the omega doesn’t move. 

their noses are almost touching and mew wants to bite those plump lips so badly, he considers it. glancing up, the omega’s gaze is waiting for him. 

and the omega looks like he would let mew do anything. 

and mew would. 

mew will . 

just not yet. 

mew wants him. he wants this omega. and he will mate this omega. 

but first, he has to show his father this little treasure he found. 

standing, he breaks the little spell they were under and comes back to his senses. he had to be careful with this omega. 

“let me go.” a soft voice speaks up. the omega tries, looking a little hopeful and a lot more desperate. 

“too late for that. get up.” mew lifts the omega to his feet by grabbing his arm. they are almost the same height. the omega could, in fact, stand a little taller.

“please, i’ll leave quickly. no one saw me—“ 

grip tightening on the omega’s thin arm, mew bites back a satisfied smile. “but i already found you, saw you. and finder’s keepers.”

realization dawns, throat bobbing, the omega’s face pales. 

it’s dark by the time they step foot into the main pack lands. lanterns decorate the premises, and it’s mostly empty, everyone having already headed to the kitchens for dinner, except for a wolf or two who gives them curious looks.

mew leads the omega to the head alpha, the rope around his wrists loosened a little on the way but not entirely removed. 

his father is alone when mew steps in and jerks his chin at the omega. 

“here you go, what you wanted.” from the corner of his eye, mew notices the omega stiffen before his burning gaze falls on mew.

“the trespasser.” the head alpha looks bored, definitely wondering why mew called for him for a matter that he could have dealt with by himself. 

“an omega.” mew simply corrects. at that, his father raises a brow for stating the obvious until he understands what mew implies. “well under a week, don’t you think?”

a new, hopeful glint appears in the head alpha’s eyes as he shifts his focus to the omega. 

“step up front, omega.” 

folding his hands loosely across his chest, mew shifts a little until he’s facing the omega, eyes immediately jumping to his parted lips. he forces himself to study the rest of his face. 

despite his disheveled appearance, mew can’t deny that the omega is pretty and handsome at the same time. with features that are delicate and boyish.

slowly, the omega takes a hesitant step forward. 

“where are you from?” shoulders tensing, the omega hangs his head. mew narrows his eyes at that. this omega had no problem staring him right in the face. 

why the sudden change? 

“south.” there’s no further explanation. 

mew exchanges a look with his father. they would have to do a background check on this omega. as far as they knew, there weren’t many big packs down south, just a few dying ones. 

“a runaway.” the head alpha says. it’s a statement that defines the omega’s fate.

no matter how dire the situation, wolves rarely leave their packs. 

leaving pack meant death. 

now mew has to know what or who had this omega running for death. for days, by the looks of it. while the omega seemed like the skinny type given his height, the scratches on his arms and feet spoke of his carelessness. 

“i left my pack. i didn’t mean to enter–” 

“our pack doesn’t take trespassing lightly. and by an omega at that. we all know the messes they drag behind, don’t we?”

the omega flinches slightly when he’s cut off, pressing his lips together. and now mew is even more curious. he needs to send someone to trace this omega back to his pack.

while this was not the best way to pick up an omega - a random trespasser in mew’s case - he couldn’t care less. once inside pack borders, this omega wouldn’t get out alive, he was sure. 

anything that followed the omega would now have to deal with the pack. 

and if the undeniable attraction he feels towards this omega made the decision for him, mew’s not bothered. 

mew’s role and duties to the pack were the most important to him. he couldn’t afford to be seen as weak by the pack elders anymore. not when he had so many hunting runs and meetings to lead. 

this omega would do for name's sake.

“what’s your name?” his father continues, tugging at mew’s attention. 

“gulf.”

“how old are you?” mew asks this time. the omega - gulf , though tall, still has an innocence to his face.

but mew won’t fall for that. gulf could look like an angel but be the devil himself. 

“19,” gulf risks a quick glance at him before looking down again. a seven years age gap was nothing and if anything, mew loved the power he would hold. 

“i see.” walking to his desk, the head alpha picks up a scroll. 

the leather has the emblem of their pack shaman, and mew has no clue what it has to do with this omega. 

“the pack shaman gave me this message just a while ago. it says if we receive a stranger, an omega specifically, this week, it will benefit the pack, give us a strong bloodline and save us from possible misfortune.” 

of all the things mew expected his father to say, this was definitely not one of them. 

“father, you… you think it’s this omega?” incredulity drips from mew’s voice, an unamused smile gracing his lips. sure, mew believed in a thing or two about superstitions, but this was taking it too far. 

it could be any omega. and mew wasn’t sure what misfortune this one could save them from when he ran from his own pack for possibly similar reasons. 

mew just happened to conveniently find this one right in time for his week’s deadline and took the chance. he would be nothing more than an omega for mew to mate and breed. 

nothing more. 

mew has to make sure of it. he met the omega moments ago and the alpha in him was hyper aware of him like he’s known him forever. 

or wants to have him forever.

brushing it off, mew doesn’t ponder on it as he was sure this didn’t have any meaning.

“i would like to think so. you found him and brought him to me, that made me consider it.” the older alpha comes to stand before them. “the shaman has never been wrong, son.” 

still, mew doesn't believe it and he suppresses an eye roll. 

after hearing that, the omega, though, looks alarmed as his eyes dart between the two alphas carefully and a little fearfully. 

rightfully so. 

while mew didn’t plan on it, this new information played in his favor. he now had another reason to have the omega to himself. 

he decides to play along if it ever comes down to it.

“our pack has strict punishments for trespassers, omega. if it wasn’t for your lucky timing, you would have been on your way to death.” the head alpha continues. 

if mew wasn’t selfish, he probably would have felt a little bad for how pitiful the omega – gulf looked. for what he got himself into.

“mew, you will mate this omega.”

fighting back a triumphant smile, he slides his gaze back onto the omega. mew wouldn’t have it any other way. 

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

no . 

gulf wants to scream that he doesn't want this. 

everything happened so quickly that gulf was unable to keep up. and it just kept getting ridiculously worse. he’s starting to get convinced that no matter what, he can't fight what’s happening to him. 

he ran right into what he was running from, and gulf knows he’s utterly powerless here. sure, by pure luck, he could run away from rogues because of a mere head start, but a pack? 

and the northern pack at that? they would hunt him down to the ends of the earth. and they would find him. 

the will to fight is slowly draining from him as he accepts that he has reached the end. the flames of his anger slowly burn out to leave dark despair. 

he tries to console himself. that it’s okay. he was still alive. this was definitely better, wasn’t it? even if he was left with no choice but to mate with a stranger. 

an alpha. 

again . 

an alpha was in control of his life again. 

gulf’s vision turns watery, but he blinks it away with everything he has and doesn’t lift his head. if anything, he won’t give these alphas the satisfaction of seeing him cry. 

out of the pan and into the fire, was it? 

this is what happens to omegas, gulf is aware. he knows that even if this pack hadn’t taken him, it wouldn’t be long before gulf would run into some other alpha wanting to claim him. 

while being mated to an alpha belonging to a pack could be considered slightly better, it still broke him to a great extent. no matter what, gulf is unable to escape this fate. 

maybe this was truly all there was to his life. 

for a moment, when the younger alpha pulled him up to the head alpha, gulf feared he would be taken by the older one. 

“mew, you will mate this omega.”

gulf was to mate his son, instead. 

mew. 

and gulf is ashamed of the relief he felt that he was being given to the head alpha’s son at least. he hates being reduced to this. to this pick your poison . 

the younger alpha was cold and controlling. he had this air of authority around him that gulf couldn’t ignore. he was someone important, and sure enough, he was the head alpha’s son. 

he looked the part too. 

handsome, tall and broad with powerful muscles that gulf would be no match against. the alpha acted like he owned everything and everyone, and gulf now knows he surely does. 

even this pack would be his one day. 

said alpha, mew is surprisingly silent. 

why wasn’t the alpha saying anything? 

he didn’t appear eager to mate in the slightest. but then again, the way he nearly devoured gulf with his gaze alone in the woods was enough to doubt him. 

just thinking back to that moment makes his stomach flip in uncalled anticipation. gulf never blushed that hard in his life. from the intensity of an alpha that too. his scent, his face, and his eyes on him. 

he forgot to breathe the moment the alpha gripped his ankle tightly and pulled him closer, demanding him to stay still. his instincts went haywire in response to the alpha’s strength and dominance. 

gulf was thoroughly charmed, unwillingly loving the way the alpha’s pupils dilated, scent bursting in want. a warm wave of heat washed over him in return, and gulf was so ready to roll over and present himself.

with how close they were, gulf’s lungs were filled with the alpha’s scent. it was heady and thick, like he could touch it if he stretched his fingers out. 

when the alpha stood up suddenly, gulf came to his senses, stomach swooping in fear. he had dangerously lost hold of himself and gulf could only imagine what would happen to him if he stayed close to this alpha. 

he hoped for a moment that the alpha would let him go. 

but here he is. 

“but i already found you. and finder’s keepers.” when the alpha said that, a chill ran down gulf’s spine. of course, every alpha wanted the same thing in the end. 

still, a little part of him wishes for the alpha to reject him now. then, they would let him go, right? the younger alpha didn’t seem to believe in that ridiculous prophecy anyway. 

but it spoke of a bloodline. it promised a strong bloodline. omegas were sacrificed for much less.

gulf’s thoughts are in a frenzy, heart beating away so loudly in anxiety that he barely hears the head alpha’s declaration but catches on. 

“you will mate in a week. he will be staying with you, mew. take him to the healer tomorrow to get a check up and find out when his next heat is.” gulf is unable to control how quickly his head snaps up. 

mew is already looking at him, unblinking. like he’s daring gulf to say something, anything. as much as he tries, there’s the glint in his eye that screams, i won. 

i won you and now you’re mine.

gulf tries his best not to react to it. he fists his hands tightly until his nails sting his palms. 

a week.

it was too soon. despair lodges itself into gulf’s throat. and he had to live with the alpha until then. he won’t be surprised if the alpha wants to take him tonight itself. 

“of course, father.” gaze still unsettlingly set on gulf, mew’s smile looks like a sneer, all teeth.

and all the little threads of hope snap.

there was no room for debate. 

so the alpha agreed. this was all he wanted all along. from the moment he found gulf. no wonder he looked at gulf like he wanted to eat him. 

now he really will.

“it’s decided. i will announce this mating to the pack in the morning. you will make a fine son-in-law, omega.” the head alpha spared gulf another glance before clapping a hand on mew’s shoulder and leaving.

tension remains high in the room as gulf is nearly frozen. the way the alpha is looking at him keeps him on the edge. he could tilt his chin wrong and mew would pounce on him, considering him game. 

gulf couldn’t ignore the crazed look in his eyes. coupled with his godly looks and perfect features, the alpha looked unreal. like a beautiful nightmare gulf was trapped in. 

just when he couldn’t take it anymore, the alpha moves, nodding in what gulf guesses as approval. 

approval of what? of holding his ground in front of an alpha, or standing there like a prey that has surrendered?

that’s what he was to the alpha, wasn’t he? a prey to play around with, to do anything–

walking past, mew’s hand grazes gulf’s waist. 

sizzling out abruptly, his thoughts die. gulf clamps his jaw to swallow a gasp, unable to suppress a shiver. 

the terrifying realization that he liked it turned his legs to lead. he couldn’t ignore the bolt of pleasure that immediately hit him.

the feeling lasted a fraction of a second, but it had gulf’s knees weak and thighs clenching, stomach fluttering in want. 

the moment the sensation was gone, gulf wanted it again. 

for longer. 

on his bare skin this time, feeling the alpha’s heated palm grip his waist tight, leaving a bruise, dark and tingling, making him feel so small and delicate— 

“come,” the alpha calls over his shoulder, walking to the door and waiting for him. all calm. 

he didn’t mean it. the alpha’s face wears no hint that it was anything else, just a casual touch. probably accidental. 

but gulf is ready to leak slick, is just a thought away from it and what did the alpha even do? barely brushed against him. 

it does not warrant this kind of reaction from gulf. 

a little out of it, gulf follows him. the alpha sticks close, just a step ahead as they go down a different path from earlier, side by side. 

while the pack lands have an open layout, there are areas allocated for residency. 

the wood cabins get farther away from each other and bigger in size the more they walk, until mew stops in front of one so impressive in size, even gulf’s interest is caught. 

their nearest neighbor is minutes away. 

huge trees surround the cabin, giving it enough privacy and good shade during the day. there’s also a grassy path rounding the house to what gulf guesses is an opening into the forest somewhere behind the house. 

it was bigger than anything gulf had seen. so he wonders who they will share it with until he walks after mew to the porch and steps in through the door.

inside, it is entirely empty except for the furniture. little traces of the wood's scent can still be noticed, giving away that the wood has been recently cut.

what gets to gulf the most is the heavy scent of the alpha having claimed presence all around them. 

they are to live in this big house all alone? 

gulf would lose his mind, then himself to this alpha.

with how his self control is going and his omega striking without warning, gulf won’t last two days.

as gulf still stands just inside the doorway, the alpha faces him and reaches behind gulf to push the door close. 

“welcome home,” the alpha’s words tickle his cheek. the door slams, the only other sound audible to the omega apart from his quickening heart. 

the alpha doesn’t step back. 

he simply takes gulf’s hands to untie the rope around his wrists and gulf’s knuckles brush against the alpha’s hard stomach. mew’s hands are bigger than his, easily enveloping his weak fists to free them.

every time their skin touches even a little, gulf burns. the alpha’s heated gaze on him only triggers gulf further. all over again, he surrenders to the urge and holds mew’s stare.

the foreign urges and instincts confuse and scare gulf to no end. his heat wasn’t even close, and he had been taking suppressants for a long time. there was no reason for him to feel so on edge.

while his body naturally craved alphas, gulf had hated and feared them long enough to avoid them. 

it was different with this alpha though, mew unearthed all the desire gulf had stored away in himself. 

if this goes on, gulf will let himself go through everything he doesn’t want. the alpha already took liberty with him and invaded his personal space at every possible chance. 

and he probably knew exactly how it affected gulf. how it made him a dumb omega, enslaved to his senses. 

gulf was being tricked into believing that mew wasn’t that bad, that he can trust him, that the alpha was harmless .

when in fact mew was the most dangerous alpha gulf has ever met, having taken gulf for himself within moments of setting his sights on him. 

in that instance, gulf decides that he will be the most difficult omega the alpha has dealt with.

the moment mew drops the rope, gulf’s palms slam on the alpha’s chest with all his might, pushing him barely half a step back. 

“get the fuck away from me–” gulf manages to grit out before the alpha’s movements are a blur. gulf’s wrists are pinned on either side of his head, the alpha holding them in a painful death grip. 

gulf’s heart jumps to his throat as the alpha is suddenly inches away from him. 

“push me like that again and see what happens,” the alpha’s voice is dangerously low, nearly a growl and gulf bites back a whimper, still reeling in shock at the alpha’s reaction. “i can tear you apart if i want.”

gulf doesn’t think he did anything wrong and talking back to an alpha after a long time gave him a thrill he loved. if the alpha was going to overreact, then so would he. 

they are in each other’s faces, noses brushing when gulf's hatred erupts. 

“then kill me, i won’t be nice.” gulf throws the words around, risking it. for some reason, that makes mew roll his eyes and let go of his wrists. they ache, blood rushing back to place. 

“no, you don’t want that, believe me. i’m going to keep you alive. have you, make you mine and–” mew looks down, grabs the gag hanging around the gulf’s neck, plays with it for a while before jerking him closer, dark eyes staring gulf down. “you don’t know anything, just behave.”

gulf seethes at what he hears, and it is evident on his face. 

“don’t give me that look, omega. be grateful that i took you in before they threw you in the rut house or something.” it makes gulf’s skin crawl, what could have happened to him if he wasn’t given to mew?  

exactly what mew said. 

it only irks him further. 

mew spoke like he was a hero. like gulf should think so too. like gulf should fall at his feet and thank him. 

like hell gulf would though. 

gulf’s best bet at survival was this alpha. this was it for him. so what if he hates mew? he was still the pack alpha’s son and being mated to him was the most beneficial and safe position for him to be in. 

he can manage whatever comes his way in return. 

it was important for gulf to establish himself as an omega that won’t bend to his alpha that easily. he was so tired of being stepped on and mistreated by his pack that he couldn’t afford to let things go down the same way here. 

and he would give the alpha hell while he was at it. 

“grateful?” gulf inches closer, doesn’t care if his lips brush against the alpha’s anymore. they are to do much more than that anyway. “you’re telling me to feel grateful that you decided to claim me before the other alphas did? you’re no different.” 

when mew shrugs dismissively, gulf wants to hit home.

“you’re an alpha. you’re no different from them.” the aloofness disappears from mew’s face, brows twitching. “and i don’t trust alphas .”

“just be happy that it was me who found you first. the others aren’t this nice.” narrowing his eyes, mew warned. 

if gulf knows one thing about alphas, it's that they hate not being the first to get a hold of something. 

“you didn’t find me. those patrol alphas of yours did.” gulf reminds him and mew’s shoulders tense. 

“right, but i kept you first, didn’t i?. i’ll say it again, finder’s keepers. you’re mine. that’s it. is that what you want to hear? you don’t want me to play nice? just tell me.” gulf can’t tell if they’re reaching the alpha’s limit because he doesn’t know what they are.

mew’s reactions are unpredictable and difficult to direct. when gulf says something it will push the alpha over the edge, it doesn’t affect him in the slightest. 

and when gulf does something impulsively, solely ruled by his temper, mew is all over him. 

truly, it scares gulf a little to talk back like this, as the thrill dilutes with every exchange. he did not want to face the alpha’s wrath, after all. 

gulf can’t take on anymore of that fear and worry.

still, his mouth talks, loose. 

“you expect me to be happy with that? thanks to the blessing the moon goddess has bestowed upon me, the oh so kind son of the pack alpha decided to mate me?” as sarcasm drips from his voice, gulf really thinks he needs to stop talking before he digs his own grave.

or worse, if the alpha does it for him. 

the air around them changes, something unpleasant brewing and gulf blames himself for starting it. 

what was he thinking? he was arguing with a stranger, an alpha at that – the head alpha’s son , for fuck’s sake – in a pack he trespassed into. 

sure enough, the bare minimum softness in mew’s face fades, eyes lose all civility. he jostles the cloth around gulf’s neck until he fists it and gulf is forced to keep looking into the alpha’s eyes, so deep and sharp.

his body reacts unnecessarily, the slight pressure to his neck, making gulf’s vision a little hazy. it makes the alpha appear dreamy when he is anything but that. 

“blessing?” mew huffs darkly, unamused. “never said anything about that. if anything, you’re actually very unfortunate i came across you.”

gulf is rendered silent. what could he say to that? when mew continues, it makes gulf uneasy. 

“i don’t need you, omega. you were just… conveniently there for me.”

whatever the alpha says shouldn’t really matter to gulf. he didn’t care about him or his opinion. but hearing it still stung harshly.

gulf’s defenses rise up in an instant. he feels dirty for how his body reacts to mew, an alpha. he can’t stand it anymore.

“are we done talking? i’m tired.” gulf’s voice is low and weak, just like how he feels after traveling through the woods for this long. he wanted to stop this. whatever this was. 

the alpha simply eyed him for a moment before his fingers reached behind gulf’s neck to untie the knot. gulf quickly steps to the side and does it himself. 

he won’t let the alpha touch him again. not when gulf didn’t trust himself, didn’t know what he wanted. he was scared to feel the attraction again. he already doesn’t know what the alpha has in store for him tonight and didn’t want to add to the fire.

having roughly tugged the cloth away from his neck, the quick drag of the rough material made gulf swallow a hiss, flinching. he ignored the alpha entirely. 

when mew shows him the bedroom– their bedroom, it’s a big room lit only by a lively fireplace. it’s furnished with just the necessities like a bed, a table and a chair, and a cupboard. 

the bed unwillingly takes his attention. gulf didn’t even know beds were made that big. it seemed big enough to fit four adult men. 

it makes gulf wonder who all laid on it before him. not like he cares but it makes him bitter. he hates sharing. 

what he hates even more is being shared. 

then a concerning thought flares up. 

“do you share omegas?” gulf walks closer to the bed, already dreading the answer. he tries his best to control the nerves slowly zapping with unease.

he grazes his fingers on the dark ochre fur draped on the side of the bed, perhaps an elk’s. it’s silky and buttery soft. he doesn’t touch the sheets. 

the alpha had opened the wooden cupboard on the other side of the room, rummaging inside. 

upon gulf’s question, mew pauses, before grabbing something and closing the doors. 

facing gulf, he tilts his head to the side. apart from that, his face remains blank. “share omegas?”

“will i be passed around after you have your fun?” he asks it as it is. 

gulf can’t afford using softer words to make it sound pretty and have the alpha misunderstand. he needs to know the truth but tries to look as unaffected as possible.

the alpha regarded him as he walked towards him, stopping at the other side of the bed. he tosses the folded clothes in his hands and they land right in the middle on the sheets. 

“no,” mew finally grits out, jaw twitching. “nobody can lay their hands on you except me.”

stamping down on the relief that quickly shot up, gulf didn’t want to believe him yet. the omega in him rumbles softly from mew’s obvious claim. 

but mew was an alpha. he couldn’t be trusted.

so gulf will do anything to make sure the alpha did exactly what he promised.

mew nodded towards the clothes, finally breaking eye contact. 

“change into those. there’s hot water in the bathroom. if you won’t take a bath, don’t even think of touching the bed.” the alpha dismisses him, turning away to fix some papers on a desk. 

gulf tries not to take it personally. 

you didn’t care about that when you were all in my face , he wanted to taunt. but a glance at himself and all gulf sees is dusty and dirty clothes. 

deciding they don’t need to trigger each other any more, gulf takes the clothes and goes to the bathroom. it takes a while to figure out some things by himself, as the bathroom is much more modern than what he was used to. 

so he spends a long time there, washing every inch of himself and softly sighing in relief as hot water soothes his tired muscles. by the time he dries himself and slowly dresses himself, his body feels ten times heavier. 

the clothes are loose on his frame. and if the way the wide cut of the shirt’s neck keeps slipping down his shoulder is any indication, it definitely belonged to the alpha. 

gulf can’t really ignore the alpha’s scent too, though faded from the wash. 

he doesn’t know what the alpha wants tonight and as he steps into the bedroom, he’s ready for anything. or so he thought.

gulf finds the alpha sleeping on his side, facing away from him, a thin blanket pulled up halfway. 

the light from the fireplace throws sharp shadows on mew’s bare shoulders and back, enhancing the divots and dips of his muscles.

the urge to touch is so strong, gulf has to take a step back and fist both his hands. uncertain about what to do, he hesitates for a long time, shifting his weight from one foot to another. 

his body decided it for him, legs growing weaker until gulf finally gave in and crawled onto the bed, turning away from the alpha and curling into a ball. 

mew didn’t bother showing him the house and gulf feels lonelier than ever as he lays awake, unable to fall asleep.

as tired as he is, gulf is restless by being in a foreign, new place that he will now soon be bound to. the thoughts of the rogue alphas and all the what ifs circle his mind and gulf is getting cold with fear. 

he was terrified to close his eyes and let the nightmares waiting for him consume him. gulf wished there was someone he could talk to. 

say that he didn’t deserve this. 

that it wasn’t fair. 

but there was nobody, except an alpha who was better left alone and didn’t give a damn about him. 

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

mew too, lies awake, head heavy with the day’s events and body heavy with the omega’s scent so close to him yet not close enough. the omega didn’t even try anything and mew was already fighting so hard for control. he can’t imagine how he will be as their mating nears. 

his fascination with the omega scares him. 

mew decides to entertain his baffling urges for a moment. he wants to turn around, pull the omega closer and press his nose into the omega’s pretty neck and bite–

fisting the blanket, mew doesn’t act on any of it and tries to sleep. 

Chapter Text

mew wakes up to the muted pelting of rain. eyes still heavy, he struggled to open them, yearning for more sleep. taking a deep breath, he stretched his arms, the cool air of the room entering his lungs, relaxing him until the faint cocoa scent alerted him. 

everything that happened last night came flooding back to him.

the omega. 

gulf. 

but the scent was too light for someone who was supposed to be sharing a bed with him. mew should have been drenched in it by now. quickly turning around and sitting up, he finds the bed empty. all drowsiness leaving him, he immediately gets on his feet. 

did the omega leave? he couldn’t have gone that far. 

mew should have known . this was entirely his fault, for expecting the omega to simply stay put while he slept without a care in the world. just thinking about what his father would say added to his trouble. 

it was barely morning, but someone would have spotted the omega until now. the pack was big and mew had to find gulf before some alpha laid eyes on him. or worse, his hands. 

gulf was his . mew would simply kill the alpha, irrespective of who it was—

jerking to a stop in the doorway, he heaves in a quiet breath, and relaxes his tense jaw, relieved.

the omega is right here, nodding off and jerking awake every few seconds, cramped onto a chair. he keeps shaking off the sleep and mew wonders if he slept at all. the omega blinks drowsily, hair fluffy, wavy and all over the place, looking so small, mew didn’t know such a tall frame could ball up into this. 

in a relaxed state, the omega’s scent is deep and welcoming. it must be subconscious and simply because he hadn’t noticed mew’s presence yet. just the right amount of sweet, the scent makes mew swallow, and his alpha demands him to stick his nose to the omega’s scent glands until his lungs fill up. 

the strong scent brings back all the urges mew had last night. if mew allows, this can affect him physically as he already feels the telltale warmth prickling. he would love to drag the omega to bed – actually, even the floor would do. anything, really – and make him see stars. 

it won’t help mew and his nearly non existent self control if the omega provokes him again. it simply makes mew want to tame the omega down, make him submit even more.

he has been successful in holding it in so far and doesn’t really know his limits. no wolf ever tested him like this, and mew honestly can’t wait to find out what the omega does that will make him snap. 

last night itself was difficult for him, and the sheets were still wrinkled from how hard he fisted them. gulf must have slipped out sometime last night after mew fell asleep. 

with the way the omega has uncomfortably folded his long limbs closer to hug himself and curl into a ball, he doesn't look welcoming. so it doesn’t make sense to the alpha why he still feels gravitated towards him.  

mew wants to walk closer, steal a kiss from those lush lips.

there must be some reason he feels so called. 

gulf finally shifts, sitting up straight. clothes loose on him, gulf’s thinner frame barely holds onto the shirt. the wide neck slips down a shoulder, revealing smooth caramel skin. 

a strange satisfaction settles in mew by looking at the omega in his clothes. and he doesn’t even like sharing. 

if the omega knew what all mew’s got thinking, he’d be hissing and fuming. like a little kitten. 

when his eyes zero in on gulf’s bare neck, the omega’s stretching showing him different angles, mew’s teeth throb. it’s so sudden and unexpected, mew’s hand flies to his mouth. 

he’s then vividly picturing the chain of bites he can leave on gulf’s skin, mapping it up from his shoulder all the way to his neck. where he’ll leave a mark so big and deep , it will have the omega’s eyes rolling back and show everyone who he belongs to. 

before his aroused pheromones alert the omega, mew turns on his heels and goes to take a bath. 

this omega was too much of a hassle even by simply existing. gulf is not even the first omega that he came across for him to react like this. but his stupid wolf did think so, very apparently. 

like a young wolf who just got his first rut. he doesn’t appreciate it. what was so special about this omega, anyway? yes, he looked absolutely breathtaking, with the capability to render mew dumb, making him impulsive. 

so what? 

it was fine. 

totally manageable. 

but mew hates not being in control. especially of himself. and gulf is throwing him off balance without even trying. 

some distance between them would do him good, so mew decided to head to his father’s cabin. there were other more important matters to attend to. the mating announcement was to be made today, and before that, he needed to remind his father to keep up his side of the deal. 

the raid was barely two weeks away, and they would have to speed up the mating, finish it within a week for mew to be able to actively take part the next week. 

mew has to make sure he earned his place back and this time, for good. 

when he walks into the living room, gulf quickly jumps to his feet. he remains quiet. a stupid part of mew is anticipating listening to the omega’s voice as he nears the door. 

although he avoids looking at the omega, mew nearly stumbles when the omega’s scent bursts in richness, like a direct, unavoidable siren call to his alpha. if anything, mew expected it to sour, expressing distaste and repelling him. 

it’s tantalizing, instead. fresh, ripe, and untainted, his mouth waters. he’s unable to believe the lack of control he has over his body, catching himself just in time to not turn around to face gulf.

mew himself can’t tell what he’d do to the omega. 

a single glance at those fiery eyes and soft lips would be enough to end all the reasoning in his brain and lose sense of his body. he had to get away before he did something. 

nearly tearing the door off his hinges with how hard he yanks at it, he stumbles out, slamming it close behind him. mew’s breathing heavily, fists clenched as a warm flush crawls up his chest. 

what the ever loving fuck? who the hell was this omega, pulling reactions this intense out of him? 

did gulf do it intentionally? 

did he know what he was asking for? 

it was as good as a mating call. and it took everything in him to ignore that demand. 

in his head, still thinking, he doesn’t notice when he starts walking. mew must look as rattled as he feels because he is stopped by a very concerned looking kaownah. 

“p’mew, are you alright?” the beta asks, and mew snaps out of his daze. he looks around himself and finds a few other people milling around, the rain barely drizzling now.

“yeah, i’m fine.” he has a lot on his mind but mew doesn’t think he can share it with kaownah. as close as they were, the beta wouldn’t understand mew’s alpha urges . probably think he was nothing but a knothead, if anything.

with said urges sounding crazy to mew himself, he didn’t want his friend to think he had finally lost his head. 

kaownah gives him a onceover, and mew wonders what he looks like. mostly like an alpha ready to gobble down a omega– gulf , specifically. 

“i’ll see you later, need to meet my father.” he doesn’t hear what kaownah mumbles, impatience winning over him. he needed to hunt. this omega was driving him crazy enough and mew wanted some release. 

when he enters the head alpha’s cabin, he finds his mother setting breakfast for three on the table. 

“see, i told you he would come. we have to discuss the mating announcement.” smiling, his father nods at mew, motioning him to take a seat. 

“mew!” a big smile graces his mother’s face, and mew grins in return, pleased to see her. “i heard about gulf. i’m so happy you finally found someone you like.”

instantly, mew tilts his head in confusion. his mother spoke with genuine excitement, hands clasped together, like mew found the love of his life.

“i told our family about gulf last night. they want to celebrate, said it was worth the wait. you found an omega you like, after all.” his father explains, emphasizing clearly and mew wants to call bullshit. he has no idea why his father spun this unnecessary, stupid story.

if it weren’t for his mother’s ecstatic scent, mew would have created a ruckus.

would have said he didn’t like the omega one bit and the feeling was mutual. he just had the maddening want to fuck him and put his bite on him. he just wanted to keep gulf, nothing more. the omega was too fascinating to let him slip through his fingers. 

a hug from his mother makes mew keep all that to himself. 

he wanted her to be happy, didn’t want her to worry anymore. his mother had done so much for him, always cared for him and loved him unconditionally, that mew felt this was the least he could do. 

a few white lies wouldn’t hurt anybody.

still rubbing his back softly, she leans back to cup mew’s cheek.

“it was very kind of you to help the omega, mew.” again, mew is clueless. judging from what his mother was saying, he decided it was better if he didn’t talk much until he heard the whole crap his father said about the omega. “i raised you well.”

kind ? the omega was currently caged up in his house and had a varied opinion on mew’s upbringing for sure. 

he didn’t even do anything to make the omega feel like mew’s cabin was his home from now on. didn’t welcome him, didn’t show him around either. the omega had nothing to his name except for the dirty clothes he was found in, yesterday. 

breakfast , mew suddenly realizes. 

“he didn’t have breakfast yet,” mew announces abruptly. while he didn’t give too much of a damn about the omega, he didn’t want him to starve. in his hurry to leave, it completely slipped mew’s mind. 

“oh, don’t worry. i thought so and brought it for him. you can take it with you.” his mother nods at a packed parcel and guides mew to the table. “let’s eat now, shall we?”

“yes, yes, let’s eat before it gets cold.” his father agrees as his mother sits down. 

“thank you, mae.” giving his mother a grateful smile, mew takes a seat as well. 

they eat quietly, and mew immediately gets into questioning the moment they’re done.

“when is the pack announcement?” mew asks his father.

“afternoon. it will be followed by a feast. the pack is already murmuring about a new omega and will love to celebrate your mating.” 

“i will send someone to help gulf get ready. you need to wear your ceremonial furs, mew. just one of them would do.” his mother mentions and mew is reminded that this won’t be a regular announcement. 

mew nods, eyeing his father. if his mother didn’t know the truth, he doubts the pack would be told. 

“yes, please take care of that, there is not much time.” in high spirits, his mother is quick to excuse herself, a happy scent trailing after her.

“ what did you tell her?” mew demands immediately, a bitter look on his face. “looks like we have a different view of last night.”

“lose that tone,” warning him first, his father continues. “i told her you saved the omega when you found him near our pack border. he was very grateful, liked you immediately, and you two decided to mate.”

“that sounds like bullshit, and mae believed that?” mew scoffs. was his mother so concerned for him that she easily believed something this ridiculous? mew would have laughed in other circumstances. “if anything, the omega needs to be saved from me.”

“oh, stop that.” his father brushes his words away with a hand flick. “it can stay between you and me. no need to worry your mother about it. and the pack needs a good story to talk about. your reputation will be back on track, too. stop caring about little things, mew.” 

great, now they even had an act to put on. mew felt tired just thinking about all the pretending he had to do with the omega. it would be another feat in itself to convince the omega to listen to him. 

“let’s talk about big things then, you got what you wanted.” mew stated. “i bring in an omega, my position remains mine.”

just talking about it made mew nearly growl, but at least he found gulf on time. he was now all set for the raid.

“yes, of course. i knew you could do it. you found him right on time.” his father beams, and mew can’t find it in himself to smile. “someday, the pack will be yours too.” 

the flattery falls flat on him.

“don’t tell him about this.” mew says after a moment of silence and doesn’t really know why he voiced that out. gulf himself was obviously aware that mew was mating him for his own benefit and not because he was head over heels in love with him or anything close. 

they were just strangers. 

“don’t tell who?”

when he remains quiet for too long, his father questions. “the omega?” 

“yes.” a brow rising in surprise at mew’s unexpected answer, his father’s curiosity is piqued.

“why?”

yeah, why? mew has no solid reason. but a part of him was sure the omega wouldn’t be pleased to know the truth. mew really didn’t care what the omega thought, definitely. there was no need to. gulf knew he was up to no good anyway.

taking his silence as some answer probably, his father nods. 

“i don’t see any occasion when i’ll bring this up to him.” 

mew stands, excusing himself. “it’s getting late, i’ll take the breakfast to him.”

“come back soon. the pack elders want to talk to you.” his father calls. “also, your mother will be meeting gulf before the announcement.”

mew expected that. it was a surprise she didn’t burst into his cabin last night. he takes the food packet and finds it still hot to the touch. 

“alright.” 

it doesn’t take long to head to his cabin, and mew finds himself mildly excited to see that snarky side of the omega for leaving him alone, unattended. 

unexpectedly, it’s quiet inside. 

simply following the omega’s scent, he finds gulf on the bed, deep asleep. staying up all night must have caught up to him. unsure what to do with the breakfast he brought, he hunts around the cabin for a little stool and places it beside the bed. 

putting the food parcel on it, mew’s thinking that he’d have to make them a bedside table when he stops his thought. 

oh no, no fucking way this omega got him thinking like this already. a bedside table? what’s next? 

palming his face in disbelief, he throws a look at the omega. mew always found the omega attractive but he never thought it was possible for someone to look this lovely while sleeping. 

hair now clean and softer after a bath, it delicately fell over gulf’s closed eyes and mew is unable to resist his curious hands. would it be as soft as it looked? ever so lightly, so as to not wake gulf, he pushes the soft strands away from his lashes. it exposes the omega’s sharp profile, face delicate, angular and so handsome. 

by default, mew’s gaze trails to the omega’s soft lips, so pink and pretty. his fingers are almost on the delicate curve of gulf’s lips when mew snaps out of it. anymore contact and the omega would smell his touch on him. for the second time that day, mew leaves the cabin in a rush. 

on the way to his father, he comes across a pack elder going the same way. 

“mew, i’ve heard the news. about time! we were beginning to worry about you.” the old man’s smile nearly made mew grind his teeth as he nodded and wai’ed in basic courtesy. 

a fake smile plastered on his face, mew tries to slip away but the elder continues to walk by his side. of course he would, this man must be one of the pack elders who wanted to talk to him. mew doesn’t even have to wait for the poking and prodding. 

“where’s the omega? i heard he’s male. good, good. male omegas are strong, you know. better make use of that and keep him bred—“

“asleep.” mew interrupts, loud and uncaring. he could finish the elder’s sentence himself with how many times he’s heard similar things. “he’s sleeping. i let him be.”

mew won’t tolerate an elder, an elder alpha at that, telling him what to do with his own omega. 

“since when did you care about an omega’s sleep?” a loud laugh from the elder alpha makes mew cocks his head to the side, eyes on the elder, quiet. and it hits mew. yeah, why does he care? the omega didn’t sleep as per his choice. 

but mew didn’t want to wake him up, didn’t even think of the preparations, the announcement, nothing. hell, the omega was to meet his mother, his family . at this rate, they would see him directly at the announcement with everyone else. 

an uncomfortable cough from the older alpha draws mew’s attention and he draws his gaze away. 

Following the elder inside, he spots his brothers with his father first. as the elder alpha heads to the other room generally used for pack meetings, mew’s brothers ambush him, all hollers, wolf whistles, and teasing elbow digs. 

for the first time that day, mew laughs, desperately squirming away from wicked, tickling fingers. seeing the big smiles and happy eyes makes mew makes him feel like he did something right, as congratulations are screamed into his ear. 

an alpha calls for them, informing them that everyone was ready for the meeting. 

finally released from the rowdy group hug, mew’s mood dampens. his family genuinely cared for his happiness, but the pack? most importantly, these pack elders that doubted him, gave him an ultimatum? they definitely didn’t give a damn. 

mew is the last to enter the room, rolling his shoulders to release the temptation to fight and eyes each and every member at the table.

they will now be talking to the alpha they wanted to see all along. 

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

time always felt strange for gulf. 

a single moment can feel like eternity, never ending. but a blink later, hours have passed. gulf sees the morning creep in through the windows, eyes heavy but wide open. 

unable to sleep anymore, he was just wandering around the cabin. 

there’s a point in the night after which you have defeated sleep and then comes a point in the day when sleep decides to take you right back into its heavy arms. 

gulf is right in the middle. 

sleep felt absurd and like the last of gulf’s priorities especially when he was painfully restless and anxious. even when he laid on the bed earlier, he knew he wouldn’t stay like that for long. 

with everything that happened, his adrenaline still ran high and while his body physically started needing rest, his mind was on high alert. slowly, his nerves calmed down until his body wanted to crash. unable to ignore his feet begging for rest, gulf reluctantly sat on a cushioned chair and moaned in relief. 

as he let out a sigh, everything hurt. he wanted to melt, feel relaxed, warm and well rested. everything he couldn’t do right now. gulf surveyed the place, gaze drifting aimlessly. he was to live here. it was a beautiful cabin and must have taken a long time to build. 

he wonders how long the alpha worked for it and why he decided to make such a big house for himself. it must have taken months, and from the looks of it, the alpha occupied this recently.

gulf was slowly coming to terms with his situation. the worry of the rogues kept him awake for a long time, and though he’ll never admit it, the alpha’s presence and possessiveness gave him some relief. 

there was finally someone to protect him. after a long time. 

even if it’s for all the wrong reasons. 

this time, gulf won’t be stupid and fooled into believing this show of safety. he was never safe with any alpha. 

he needed to find out more about mew. he didn’t even know how old the damn alpha was. but really, gulf’s not worried about that, mew’s perfect skin and chiseled body promised youth and strength.

at least he didn't have to mate an alpha twenty years older than him like some omegas had to. 

gulf remains in the living room in hopes of catching at least some winks of sleep by fooling himself into believing he had his escape route right in front of him. it doesn’t work. 

he remains tense and cold, slight shivers whacking him once in a while and not letting him slip into sleep. sometime before daybreak, it starts raining, and gulf bitterly thinks it suits his mood. 

he’d been so close to tears but kept them at bay by sheer will. he could sense a breakdown coming but didn’t want to welcome it already. when pins and needles prick his legs from sitting down for hours, gulf finally decides to stretch, gently trying to soothe his tired body. 

he needed sleep so bad. it didn’t help that the clothes given to him felt heavenly soft and comfortable, even if the neckline was always slipping down one of his shoulders. 

the sound of a door and the alpha’s sudden scent makes gulf stand and whip around. mew must have woken up. gulf doesn't spot him anywhere though, but a few hesitant steps and a quick peek into the bedroom confirms his suspicions. 

an empty bed and rumpled, kicked off sheets greeted him. 

now what? what was gulf supposed to do? the alpha hadn’t even bothered to tell him anything else last night. so gulf sits back down in his seat. he will prepare himself for whatever the alpha may say. gulf guesses the alpha would first demand to know why he didn’t sleep in the bed.

gulf is on his feet the moment the alpha walks in, tense. he’s not even spared a glance. mew completely ignores him, quickly making his way to the main door like gulf doesn’t even exist. 

the alpha was going to leave just like that, without saying anything to him? the omega in him demands acknowledgement, dangerously irked. 

oh, hell with this alpha. if he was going to pretend gulf wasn’t there, gulf will happily ignore mew as well. simply too tired to even care, gulf turns his back to the alpha and just waits for the alpha to leave. 

a strange, unknown part of him wants to make the alpha stay, couldn’t help but notice his dark wet hair, hastily brushed away from his face.  

a few water droplets on mew’s neck glistened in the low morning light, and it was enough to make the omega catch his breath. gulf fists his hands painfully tight, ashamed by his attraction towards the alpha. 

the bang of the door is loud and for some stupid reason, hurts. 

he shouldn’t care, all alphas were the same in the end . gulf scoffs to himself and tiredly blinks his burning, droopy eyes. not thinking twice, he makes a beeline for the bed. 

even before his head can rest on the pillow, he’s slipping into a blissful, senseless slumber. the last thing he remembers is the alpha’s heavy scent woven into the sheets. 

his peaceful rest doesn’t last for long, rudely interrupted by loud knocks on the front door.

gulf jerks awake, blindly stumbles out of bed, and all the way to the door, curses on the tip of his tongue. this alpha was a literal pain in gulf’s entire damn existence. he nearly sobs with how sleepy he feels. 

his head had not stopped spinning, body aching and he was so hungry, gulf felt the hunger trying to eat his throat. 

was this the pack’s creative torture strategy? 

sucking in a deep breath, gulf opens the door and doesn’t sense multiple scents until he’s staring them in the face. a group of omegas greet him, their hands occupied with various things gulf fails to recognize.

the older omega leading the group smiles at him and gulf has just enough sense to wai in confusion. he was expecting the alpha, not an omega herd.

“he–” gulf remembers his manners even when he thinks the alpha doesn’t deserve any honorifics. “p’mew is… not here.”

“oh, i know, dear. i just met him.” when gulf simply blinks at her, the lady laughs, kind. “i’m p’mew’s mother and the head omega. i came to help my son-in-law get ready for the announcement!”

her assuring smile didn’t prepare gulf for the storm he would get caught up in for the next few hours. 

omegas surround him at once, practically carrying him to another room that gulf didn’t even know existed. a huge mirror is placed on an available table and converted into a vanity. a plethora of little wooden and metal boxes are placed and unpacked while mew’s mother looks on carefully. 

thankfully, he’s allowed to take a bath by himself, but only after stressing that he didn’t need any help. gulf is not used to any of this. his pack didn’t spare him a second glance, and now he was looked after by a little omega army. it made gulf extremely uncomfortable and clueless as to what to do and how to behave.

smooth, dark pants, soft soled boots, and a loose white shirt are given to him, material unfamiliar again. when gulf wears them, he never wants to take them off. the pants are slim with a stitch pattern he has never seen before. the shirt is wispy, flowy, and soft. made to look pretty, with a three inch satin cloth strip to tighten at the waist. 

and tighten it does, when an omega pulls it snug around his waist, nearly restricting his breath. it accentuates his narrow waist and the arch of his back that he didn’t know he had. 

then he’s pushed into a chair and there are multiple hands on his face and hair, surprisingly gentle. after applying all kinds of things to his face, gulf looks like he’s bursting with youth and energy. his skin glows, smooth and shiny. pink tints his lips, making them look plumper and glossy. 

a scentless gel helps to keep half of his hair away from his forehead while the rest is brushed off a little to the side, stubborn strands falling down to graze his cheekbones.

the entire time, the omegas keep talking, and gulf can’t help but hear it all. they gush about the alpha, his looks, how lucky gulf is. they wonder and giggle about the mating ceremony that is to take place this week. 

they tease gulf and have no limits.

about the alpha and the mating night. they tell him that he should look forward to the mating, the night of the mating, how good he’ll feel, how wonderful it is to belong to an alpha, how grateful they are for their mates.

they talk like they’re possessed by alphas. 

gulf stays silent in the madness, unable to decipher whatever is veiled behind the fake excitement in their voices.  

the only thing gulf can recognize in the mirror are his wide, lifeless eyes. 

every omega in the room except him has a mating bite visible on their neck. and gulf understands completely. omegas don’t get to choose much beyond their instincts. they’re all omegas, this is what they want in the end. 

safety. protection. care. 

an alpha. pups. a family. a home.

love, maybe.

and gulf is an omega, too.

when he is presented to the head omega who was supervising everything the entire time, she surveys him carefully, head to toe, and gives him an approving look, satisfied. “you look beautiful, gulf.”

it doesn’t make him smile, so he drops his gaze. 

by the time everyone leaves, except the head omega, gulf is jittery. he’s pacing, throat dry, stomach grumbling to the point he even imagines the smell of food, blinking hard every once in a while to remain awake. 

just when gulf thinks his legs will give out, there’s a knock on the door.

“oh, he’s here!” the head omega announces, quickly opening the door for her son and handing him the thin fur she had hanging over her arm.  

the alpha walks in, dressed in all black. while gulf’s shirt has long, full sleeves, mew’s shirt leaves his arms bare, muscles flexing as he throws the fur over his shoulders. prominent veins, impossible to ignore. 

the omega in gulf wanted all of that all over him and only him. 

he swallows, noticing the dark color contrasting wonderfully with the alpha’s paler, smooth skin. his hair is in order now, unlike how it was when he left in the morning. it draws attention to his sharp jaw and strong neck. 

those omegas weren’t lying when they said mew was the best and ideal alpha.

“mae, you need to be there with phor for the announcement before we join—” once his eyes find gulf, mew stops abruptly. their eye contact remains unbroken for a while until the alpha takes in every inch of him. 

the alpha’s eyes linger, taking their own sweet time. on his lips, neck and waist. gulf wants to know what he sees. and if he likes it, how much he likes it. what he’s thinking. 

and what he wants to do–

“right,” the head omega calls loudly, eyeing both of them. heat quickly rises up gulf’s cheeks. he can’t believe he was salivating over the alpha right in front of his mother. “the sooner we make the announcement, the faster we decide about the mating ceremony.”

it washes like cold water over the omega, effectively sobering him up.

on the way, gulf hears the pack before he sees them. it’s loud. there are so many people that his headache worsens. coming from a dying pack, gulf is not used to seeing so many people at once, with their suffocating scents in the air.

gulf spots the head alpha on a raised podium along with some others on the side as they are led through a backdoor into an empty hall attached to the stage. 

when gulf is about to follow the head omega out, mew’s fingers grasp his wrist, tugging him back lightly and waits for his mother to leave. the unexpected touch creates a ruckus in gulf’s chest and he immediately looks at the alpha.

mew’s touch is warm and it makes his fingers twitch, eager to feel more. 

gulf wants to rip away from the touch. he can’t afford to relish in it. 

leaning closer, voice low, mew says, “the pack thinks we like each other. we need to act like it.” 

this certainly confuses gulf. but he doesn’t have much time to wonder. 

“if you would have slept in the bed, this wouldn’t be necessary.” the blame in the alpha’s tone rubs gulf the wrong way and dissipates his civility. it wasn’t like he had the time of his life crammed onto that damned chair. 

gulf was the hungry, sleepless one and that was not by will. 

if the alpha wants to make this difficult, then gulf will gladly oblige. 

“this is not my fault,” gulf snapped, trying his best to keep cool. this damn alpha always got on his nerves. “if you would’ve let me go, none of this would be necessary.”

“let you go ? don’t you understand where we are?” mew taunts him, an unkind smile twisting his lips. “it’s our mating announcement. like it or not, you can’t leave this pack anymore.”

immediately, gulf is reminded of his pack and how they treated him. a sick feeling rises in his stomach and he desperately tries to push back the thoughts which tell him he’s stupid, week, useless.

‘good for nothing, except—’

“give me one reason why i should listen to you.” fuming, gulf is careless of what he says. 

“you can run, of course. if you want to, you can do that right now.” mew jerks his head towards the back door, showing him the way. but it can’t be. mew won’t let him go that easily. “then i will hunt you down and drag you right back, omega. promise, you won’t like it. this is a bad time to mess with me.”

the glint in the alpha’s eye is chilling and gulf swallows a whimper when he’s reminded of the rogues he managed to avoid. 

mew is just like them. 

there was a little part of gulf that thought, hoped , ever since he was taken captive that the alpha would be better. 

just a little better. 

gulf isn’t selfish and he won’t ask for more. he just wanted an alpha who treated him kindly, took care of him, protected him and gulf would have done anything in return. 

but mew is anything but that. 

mew didn't acknowledge his existence until absolutely necessary, hadn’t even bothered to give him anything to eat, made gulf feel unwelcome and lonely even with both of them in the same house and threatened him at every chance. 

worst of all, mew’s obsession came from pride, not care. 

it is a miracle that tears didn’t start lining gulf’s lashes with how heavy the misery weighed down on him. there was not an ounce of regret or uncertainty on the alpha’s face. 

a painful mix of sorrow and agitation hits gulf with intention to wreck. 

when gulf looks back on this moment years later, this would be how it all started, how they fell apart before something could even tie them together. 

aggression always follows anger and it helps gulf fool himself into thinking he’s powerful, invincible. it was a thirsty grasp for some kind of control when he didn’t have any. 

always managed to ruin things for him. 

“remember this, alpha ,” it’s the first time gulf is addressing mew like that and utters it like it’s filthy and will continue to call him just like that. “you’re keeping me here against my will. i’m going to do everything in my power to make this difficult for you.”

he will bring mew down to his knees. 

“this will cost you everything .” gulf promises and mew’s impassive features turn hostile in an instant then settle into something gulf can’t place his finger on. when his shoulders bunch up and mew takes a step closer, hand raising, gulf thinks he’ll be hit.

instead, gulf flinches when fingers grip his jaw and end up squishing his cheeks. the alpha’s hand is big enough to cover his entire face, ear to ear and gulf feels the dreaded hot curl of his insides, feeling lost, confused, skin tingling and heart rate spiking. 

mew’s eyes fixate on his forcefully puckered lips. he chides, “if you’re not nice, i won’t be either. this is a warning.” 

the threat doesn’t even feel like one as warmth starts to gather in gulf’s cheeks, right under mew’s fingertips. the alpha’s scent is intruding, spreading all around gulf to stick, stay and reek.

when gulf starts to feel fuzzy, thoughts jumbling, tempting , he tries to push the alpha’s hand away. it doesn’t budge one bit. 

“you’re in no place to threaten me, omega.” mew ropes an arm around his waist, fingers pressing into his cheek uncomfortable enough to not allow the movement of his jaw. with a glare, gulf digs his nails into mew’s forearm and drags down harshly. 

“watch me do that and even more.” gulf spits out the moment mew loosens his grip, the insides of his cheeks throbbing hot. he hopes little dots of red bleed from the scratches when the alpha hisses, much to gulf’s satisfaction and he can’t help the half smile even when mew doesn’t release him. 

mew remains quiet and unresponsive. gulf realizes he shouldn’t have done that. the alpha pulls his hand away from gulf’s face to check the damage. sure enough, his nails have grazed past a couple layers of skin, leaving thin bloody lines.

turning his arm this way and that to get a good look, mew still holds gulf by the waist. he’s certain the alpha has lost it when cold eyes snap to his. mew’s arm is pressed to lips and when gulf squirms away, mew grips his nape and holds him still.

“now lick,” his look of disbelief is ignored and mew jerks him closer by the neck. when gulf doesn’t follow, mew smears the blood on gulf’s lips and chin. it’s not much but gulf can still smell it, feel it wet. goosebumps raise in response to the unsettling act. “before i make you.”  

if mew wasn’t holding him down like this, gulf would have trembled badly. the air around the alpha has changed with no tolerance for any funny business. to lick the alpha’s blood– scratches clean feels wrong. even mated pairs rarely did this and here he was with an arm knocking his lips and crushing them against his teeth, sure to swell or bruise. 

only when the pressure against his lips and teeth hurts too much to bear, gulf parts his lips with difficulty, trying not to show his wince and let his tongue touch the alpha’s skin. 

shame pokes like millions of pins on his face as mew doesn’t look away from him like he’s reveling in his power and gulf has to cast his eyes down, hating the helplessness, the unfairness of the situation. made to heal the wound he inflicted. 

this was just a little window to what would happen if he got physically involved with mew. gulf would be the one getting hurt and humiliated, easily overpowered by the alpha. 

once satisfied, mew pulls his arm back. there’s no more blood, only slightly raised, pink skin that would heal by the time they got out of the hall. 

“you should know what will cost you everything.” mew starts and gulf involuntarily takes a little step back. the alpha’s hand grips the wide satin strip around his waist, knuckles pressing into his stomach, keeping him from going too far. “not having my scent on you. alphas will think you’re game and come after you.” 

a beta, suddenly pokes her head in and obviously takes note of how they’re close to each other, squeals out a ‘they’re calling for you’ before disappearing with a giggle. mew steps away, dropping his hold and smoothing his clothes. 

ears steaming, gulf assures himself that the girl must not have heard their words. her reaction would be different otherwise. perhaps, she would help—

then gulf remembers the omegas that dressed him this morning. even if they were all right here and heard every bit mew said, they would still never take gulf’s side. 

of course, the alpha is always right. further judging from mew’s words, alphas didn’t have regard for anything or anyone except for each other. that was why he had to have mew’s scent on him, wasn’t it? 

or else– 

gulf didn’t want to find out. 

so he still wasn’t safe. then when would he be? after reeking of mew? after mating him? after carrying his bite mark? after giving him pups? 

or not even then?

gulf can take on anything, but please, oh please, not being treated like a piece of meat, like a toy to pluck, play and toss away after use. he has seen enough omegas being used, abused, and assaulted for just existing and barely escaped the same fate himself. 

or so he thought. 

he feels stupid for not remembering this.

and here, the alpha who’s going to mate him is warning him of the same?  

“you will let them?” gulf asks so quietly, that he doesn’t expect mew to hear it, much less respond. maybe the alpha lied last night when he said that gulf won’t be passed around. 

“no,” the immediate answer is such a relief, gulf can breathe again. “you’re mine and you’ll stay mine.”

mew says it with such conviction, for the first time, gulf feels grateful for how immature, greedy, and possessive alphas are. gulf’s biggest threat would be the alpha losing interest in him and passing him off to someone else. 

this frightening possibility is enough to burn his fighting spirit to the ground, into ashes.

but only for now.

until the mating.

gulf has to wait until the mating. once they mate, other alphas will feel more threatened with mew being his tied mate. then, gulf would show his true colors, his hate, his distaste towards the alpha. 

he won’t let the alpha get away with this, for putting him in a life or death situation. now, gulf will selfishly take whatever he can from the alpha, using him just like mew is using gulf. 

cheers fill the air when they step out. 

can they see the blood on my face?

can they see the blood on my face?

can they see the blood on my face?

mew wouldn’t let him step out like this with blood on his face, would he? but he didn’t wipe it off, either.

maybe it’s too thinly spread on his skin, barely visible, or not visible at all—

as he follows mew’s steps, the alpha looks strong enough to snap gulf like a twig, the muscles of his back visibly shifting through his thin, dark shirt. mew’s big palm easily wraps around gulf’s entire wrist and leads him up a couple of steps. 

faced with such a large crowd, just as the nerves are starting to get to gulf, mew’s arm slips around his waist, grip firm, and he’s pulled close, foot twisting. their shoulders knock together.

mew holds gulf like he belongs to him, like he’s showing him off, like he’s daring someone to try and take what is his. 

even before he turns towards the alpha, gulf can feel mew’s persistent, intrusive gaze. it would be better for both of them if gulf played along. so when their eyes lock together, gulf willingly loses himself in mew’s dark orbs.

can he see the blood on my face?

the head alpha calls it the most anticipated celebration, his first son’s mating. 

the pack heir’s mating. 

gulf can tell it’s a disaster waiting to happen. it deeply confuses him when he can’t tolerate the alpha but also finds him irresistible moments later. right from the first time he looked at mew, gulf knew the alpha was up to no good. 

he was dangerous — made gulf lose himself the moment he touched him. that knowledge itself made him alert to the alpha’s touch ever since, leaving him wanting for more. 

it didn’t help that the alpha was difficult to ignore, as hard as gulf tried. mew’s face, his body, his voice, his presence, everything demanded attention. gulf’s attention, his omega’s attention. 

despite knowing how far mew will go, what he thinks of him, how he treats him, and how they’re going nowhere no matter what, their attraction remains like a fire in the dark for gulf.

the omega in him specifically revels in the way mew shamelessly stares at him, head tilting unconsciously, gaze helplessly drifting to his lips every few seconds, unable to hide the blatant hunger in his eyes like he wants to devour gulf. 

he wants me. he wants me, he wants me so bad, just look at him salivating for me like—

it gives gulf something to hold onto, some kind of distraction, something that will influence his sense of judgment and numb him down so that he doesn’t go insane with how horribly wrong everything turned out to be. 

how things will never be the same for him once they are mated, tied to a cold, powerful alpha for this lifetime.

gulf has become scared. of feeling anything. 

anything but pleasure. 

and he will take that from mew without any remorse. 

“how did you think i’d let you go?” mew asks suddenly, eyes sharp and dark as always. they have gulf trapped like they see everything . “when you look at me like that.”

gulf never knew how obvious his want, his desire, could be on his face, in his fucking scent , flaring, always ready to betray him. he had never felt this kind of attraction towards an alpha and had even entertained the possibility of having a beta mate. 

there wasn’t much choice for gulf within his dying pack. 

now he’s being taken into another pack, with an alpha like mew calling dibs on him. he remembers the satisfaction on mew’s face when he spotted gulf that evening, like that of a desperate hunter who caught his prey when the possibility of a catch was nil. 

mew desperately needed him. like he needed an omega. 

like he needed any omega. 

gulf knew he wasn’t special. he was just the unfortunate one. wrong place, wrong time. bound to suffer.

the alpha always emphasized on mating and all gulf can come down to is, why he didn’t mate within the pack. the pack wasn’t lacking omegas, willing ones too. he heard the omegas gossip and fawn over mew like he was the best alpha to grace the planet earth. 

but then again, what else could they say with the head omega, mew’s mother right there? their smiles didn’t reach their eyes and they got him ready like a sacrificial doll.

when gulf tears his gaze away, he can see that the pack definitely buys their pretense. 

after standing for a while, his body begins to ache for rest. no matter how much he blinks, his eyes burn, like he’s trying to see through the sand. a headache begins to pound at his temples and the shouts and hoots of the pack don’t help. 

one moment he’s blinking slowly, lets his eyes rest for just a second more and he’s swaying to the side, disoriented.

“gulf,” mew’s hand suddenly tightening on his waist makes him jerk, and finds himself too close to the alpha’s alert face. “what happened?”

“you…” it slips up in a sleepy slur, a whisper, before gulf presses his lips together and straightens himself, finally noticing the thinning crowd. 

you happened. not even a day with you and see how i am. 

gulf ignores the alpha, doesn’t protest when mew grips his palm tightly because he doesn’t trust himself to not fall asleep standing and crash to the ground. he is concerned with how well their hands fit together, mew’s warmth curled around his cold fingers. 

some people still hang around, curious to see khun mew’s omega and with the number of times mew stops to accept good wishes and congratulations, gulf keeps bumping into his back. when mew reaches back to steady gulf every time, his omega loves it. 

if gulf closes his eyes and pushes everything from his awareness except the alpha’s scent, he could live in this little bubble forever. but gulf wasn’t here to pretend for long. gulf had to make sure to ruin the alpha. 

the mating ceremony is to take place in six days, as announced by the head alpha that he entirely missed in his sleepy daze and he finds this out from mew’s family. 

mew introduces his family members one by one and gulf has already jumbled their names. there’s one thing he can’t help but notice – all the mated alphas had more than one omega. gulf just wais and bows at everyone, even mew’s little sister, who giggles at him happily. gulf is not even embarrassed. 

a family lunch is organized in the pack hall and gulf swallows down all the protests and complaints. he’d prefer to sleep first but at this point, his ribs have started to ache, and soon enough his stomach will start to eat itself.

blurry, burning gaze makes it difficult for gulf to even see what he’s eating but the hunger wins over and he’s shoving food into his mouth trying not to look like a starved animal. 

someone or the other tries to engage him in small conversation and he barely responds though they don’t seem to mind. he would have put some more effort if it were any other day but today, gulf holds onto the seat of his chair just to stop his body from swaying. 

mew sits beside him but they don’t talk.

“i hope you liked today’s breakfast, gulf.” mew’s mother asks him with a smile, looking at him expectantly. 

honestly, gulf first thinks he’s being made fun of, that he’s being bullied. his throat closes up as he waits for a condescending laugh that never comes. the table falls silent. the head omega looks at her son in confusion, then back at gulf. 

“it was still warm when i sent it with mew.” 

maybe your son wanted to starve me , gulf wanted to say and finds mew looking at him already, expectantly. 

“oh, i–” should gulf tattle? could this even be called tattling? if mew hadn’t given him something basic like food then there was a possibility it could happen again. it would be better if gulf started looking for alternate options like having some ingredients at the house to cook for himself. “i… didn’t get it.”

“what?” both mew and his mother ask at the same time and gulf isn’t able to pinpoint who sounded concerned. definitely wouldn’t be mew, though he has completely turned his body towards gulf. 

“it should be right by the bed. i put it there myself.” mew insists, scanning his face for the truth because they don’t believe each other. 

now that he thinks about it, gulf didn’t go back into their bedroom again after he opened the door half asleep. maybe he missed it. he decided to give mew the benefit of doubt.

“i didn’t notice.” maybe gulf overreacted a little. so mew did bring him breakfast. “i’m sorry, head omega. it must have been delicious.” 

among murmurs of worry from the rest of mew’s family, looking disappointed, the head omega opens her mouth when mew interrupts her. 

“why didn’t you ask me?” a frown rests between thick brows and gulf doesn’t know how to respond. “you could have told me you didn’t eat when i came back.”

if this is the look of worry on mew, gulf didn’t think he would ever see it, directed at him, especially. for all he knows, it could just be an act of a caring alpha in front of his family.

“it’s alright.” gulf says firmly, a small smile plastered on his face. 

“mew, see to it that he definitely gets some rest,” the head alpha instructs. “you need to take care of your omega.” 

“of course, father.” mew grits out, his chair scraping loudly when he gets up. “i’ll take him to the healer.”

and gulf knows he won’t get rest until he finally collapses.

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

waiting outside the healer’s cabin as per her request, mew has his arms crossed as he taps his foot in impatience. gulf had been silent since they made their appearance before the pack and mew doesn’t blame him. 

a twist of his arm shows that the scratches have healed entirely as they should. mew accepts that he went a little far with how he behaved but he couldn’t stop, not when the omega was talking to him like that, riling up his alpha in all the wrong ways. 

there was no way he could let the omega go, not when he just got his power back. so when gulf talked about leaving, his worst fear, mew lost it. this is what he hates, gulf triggered him like crazy. 

the door creaks open and mew is called in by the healer. gulf looked worse than before as he sat holding onto the thin furs on the bed, staring off into space. he doesn’t move even when the healer starts talking.

“gulf’s heat is expected to be in two months, khun mew. but after the mating, your cycles will sync. generally, mated couples get their cycle within a month after mating. you can expect the same.” mew would have paid proper attention like he generally does when it comes to important discussions like health but he can’t help but notice gulf to be unusually quiet.

did gulf even hear what the healer said?

the omega felt a little off since morning and mew guessed it was lack of sleep that had him like this. then he found out that the omega didn’t eat breakfast either. maybe he should have stayed to make sure the omega ate. 

“thank you, we’ll get going now.” mew nods at the healer and she smiles, heading to another room. 

if mew wasn’t looking, gulf would have fallen face first to the floor. 

“gulf!” two long, hurried strides have the omega’s face pressing into his stomach instead, and mew’s hands grip gulf’s narrow shoulders, his heart overreacting. he should have expected this to happen with how hard gulf had been blinking, trying to keep his eyes open. 

the omega’s face rubs into him and a weak hand against his hip makes mew sigh deeply. 

mew has no idea why but his alpha hates to see gulf weak like this, barely conscious. it’s fatigue and lack of sleep, mew knows but it’s difficult to explain it to himself and his unreasonable wolf that demands to check on the omega. 

mumbling something, gulf stirs and freezes when he realizes where he is and how close they are. he shifts back on the bed, putting some distance between them and mew fists his hands to not pull the omega back.

he had his fair share of holding the omega today, there was no need to indulge himself some more. 

even from up here, he can see red dotting the omega’s cheeks, scent turning sweeter like he wants mew, little traces of his scent bleeding into–

blood. 

his blood.

a glance around finds him cotton and a glass of water on the table beside the bed and mew wets some cotton, squeezing out the excess water. expecting resistance, mew is slow to approach, to curl a finger under the omega’s chin, and raise his face. 

gulf is looking at him and mew wonders why he let him touch so easily, without complaining. the blood that mew smeared on his face isn’t visible because mew barely bled. so he wipes the cotton where mew’s scent is the strongest. 

cheek, chin, and lips– a little swollen, dark pink. he didn’t know it would hurt gulf this much. throwing the cotton away, unable to help himself, mew curls his hand around the omega’s pretty face, gentle this time. 

“this… doesn’t mean– doesn’t change what you did.” the warm weight of gulf’s cheek rests on his palm, soft and so easily reddening either under mew’s touch or gaze.

“i know,” mew acknowledges, pressing a gentle thumb on the omega’s spot of blush. it feels warmer the longer his finger stays in place. 

“after you said all that… you didn’t scent me.” 

“my blood was more than enough.” gulf pushes his hand away and it feels awfully empty and cold. mew wants to hold the omega’s face again, hear him talk softly, eyes tired but promising revenge.

when gulf tries to stand, mew takes a step back to give him space but stays close enough, just in case. the omega stumbles over the rug. 

mew picks up the omega easily in an instant, with an arm supporting his back and another one under his knees. gulf’s shocked yelp almost makes him smile. when he sees the omega open his mouth to complain, mew jostles him like he’s trying to adjust his grip and that gets himself gulf’s arms locking around his neck.

“if you drop me, i’ll kill you.” gulf’s warning falls flat with how tired and sleepy he sounds. 

by the time they reach the cabin, gulf falls asleep. 

mew places him on the bed carefully and spots the breakfast he placed there this morning. he covers the omega with a blanket, ignoring his bared throat with all his might. alphas didn’t go crazy seeing every omega’s throat, no. but gulf drives mew mad with the urgency and intensity of his desire for him.

why this omega, specifically? why gulf?

with no answers to any of his questions and restlessness building up, mew decides it’s time for his much needed hunt. 

Chapter Text

ever since the mating announcement, they drift even further apart.

now gulf had every reason not to engage the alpha in physical contact.

in any way. 

so he decides to maintain distance. 

with no other beds in the house, gulf starts to spend the nights in the other bedroom. mew doesn’t offer otherwise, just gives him an extra mattress and sheets. it only hardens gulf’s protective, hard shell. 

a part of him is relieved that the alpha doesn’t make any sexual advances and force him into something but he’s also waiting for the alpha to snap any minute. 

gulf is aware of the expectations, the responsibilities already being placed on his shoulders as mew’s mate-to-be. there’s no way they could get away with being this distant. 

perhaps some omegas might think of this as an opportunity. it isn’t everyday that one gets to mate the next in line head alpha. 

but gulf is not able to think of his life beyond a few hours, barely a day. though he ran away and found a stop, gulf still feels like he’s being chased. 

sleeping alone, he’s plagued with nightmares. 

gulf keeps jerking awake, skin heated and sweaty, every couple hours and the fear that sits on his chest is so heavy, it renders him breathless. 

the phantom bites, loud growls and sharp teeth tearing into him in his dreams feel so real. 

as if he was living through it. 

what was the point of having nightmares when he was as terrified and in pain as he would be if it were real? 

he hates it. hates sleeping like this because it reminds him all over again that he has no home and didn’t have one for a long time. 

when gulf wakes up in the morning, there’s an extra fur pelt thrown over his blanket and breakfast right beside him on a little stool, impossible to miss this time. 

mew’s gone. 

gulf reluctantly gets out of the toasty warmth, body aching slightly and gets ready for the day. after eating, he contemplates if he should really step out. but, there’s nothing for him to do cooped up inside. 

it just made him feel more like a prisoner. 

in the daylight, gulf gets to see more of the pack and observe better. he could barely remember where the announcement even happened yesterday with how fatigued he was. 

the pack is definitely bigger, both in terms of land and population. so far, he hasn’t seen anything that supported the strong aversion towards this pack. 

he tries to recall something, anything about why this pack territory was always marked red. but it’s like trying to see underwater. 

it’s hazy, blurry and there’s nothing solid that makes sense. 

maybe it was nothing.

even though it’s late in the morning, closer to noon with how bright and sunny it is, there’s no intensity or heat to scorch his skin. 

gulf finds himself squinting still, looking at the ground to strictly avoid contact with all the eyes digging into him. 

was he not supposed to be stepping out? it was a dumb assumption but mew hadn’t spoken to him after the visit to the healer. 

gulf remembers being carried and then sweet, sweet sleep had taken him wholly. 

the alpha had come back later in the evening, bringing gulf dinner and smelling of blood. gulf had already settled in the other room by then and mew hadn’t bothered him again. 

he wasn’t given any instructions or warnings so gulf can’t be blamed.

“phi gulf!” he hears a call.

and that’s how he meets mew’s best friend. 

gulf would have acknowledged the potential for their friendship if this man wasn’t the same as every other person in the pack, praising mew and worshiping him for reasons gulf can’t see. 

lips pressed into a thin line, gulf is unable to relate to the ridiculous things the beta keeps spewing. 

“it’s a celebration the entire pack is looking forward to. p’mew is wonderful…” kanowah? kaownah, was it? gulf wasn’t paying attention. he had no patience to hear anymore nonsense. 

the alpha’s praise was grating on his ears. 

about how charming he is, how chivalrous, how kind . for a best friend, the beta didn’t know shit about how mew really is. not like gulf does.

mew is many things and kind is not one of them.

the only reason gulf still sticks around is because the beta was the only one who seemed relatively harmless and he talked . 

gulf needs information. 

kaownah showed him around the pack as much as he could, had lunch with him and walked with him back to mew’s cabin. 

if gulf was to find out anything about the pack or the alpha at all, this was his only chance. so he invites the beta in. 

as they sit in the living room and talk, gulf finds out mew is seven years older than him. and suddenly their power imbalance makes so much sense. 

his omega nature aside, there was something so firm and tough about mew that intimidated gulf. there was a line he was not able to cross, as much as he wanted to. 

gulf was beginning to think the beta could be tolerable until he said, “you get to mate mew! aren’t you excited? he’s the perfect alpha.” 

he heard at least a hundred different variations of it since the mating announcement. even during lunch, many people had come to greet and congratulate him. 

their lingering gazes and fading smiles didn’t slip through gulf’s notice. 

they weren’t really happy about him, he could tell. he didn’t find any traces of jealousy, which was unexpected, in any of the omegas. they were all excited, definitely. 

but something about that felt wrong. 

with how starry kaownah’s eyes got, gulf heavily doubted the other’s feelings were simply platonic. but gulf doesn’t trace any bitterness in the beta’s gaze or words. 

you can have your perfect mew to yourself , gulf wanted to offer sincerely. but needs the alpha. for his own protection. 

gulf had a feeling that the less he talked, the better it was. he had to understand the pack dynamics first to make sure he didn't slip with the wrong person.

he eyed the beta, waiting for a reaction. “you must really like m– p’mew.”

the beta’s eyes widened, a panicked laugh coughed out. 

there .

“who— who doesn’t?” with a bashful smile, kanowah looks away. “and he’s my best friend.”

bullshit.

so the beta likes mew. 

gulf doesn’t really know how to feel about that. there doesn’t seem to be any competition because after all, he was dragged into the pack to be mated, literally. 

no matter what, he still had to keep the alpha to himself for his own sake. he’d have to see kaownah’s behaviour and intentions before acting on it. 

as twilight starts to fall, mew comes back. he has barely entered the cabin but sniffs out kaownah in seconds. 

“kaownah, why are you here?” mew asks as he steps inside, eyes darting between them. gulf rolls his eyes, uncaring if mew notices. the beta was just about to get to the good part of the pack’s traditions, damn it.

“p’mew, i was keeping p’gulf company. we’re getting to know each other.” kaownah had a sweet smile on his face. 

“right.” gulf looks back to see the alpha staring at him. after a moment, mew addresses the beta. “you should get going. it’s time for dinner.” 

“oh! we didn’t notice,” kaownah stands to leave and gulf gets up too, to be polite. “p’gulf, i’ll tell you about the pack tomorrow! there’s so much for you to see.”

“yeah, thanks for today.” gulf responds honestly. nobody else had bothered to even talk to him. not even mew. “it was nice.”

“of course, you’re pack now.” with a small nod and another smile, kaownah heads to the door. mew’s eyes remain on gulf even as the beta says his farewell to the alpha. 

it irritates gulf, how rude mew is to everyone.

as soon as the door shuts behind kaownah, gulf throws a glare at mew and walks away towards his room. 

“what did you two talk about?” mew asks. not in the mood, gulf pushes his door open, ready to slam it shut on the alpha’s face. 

“i asked you something, gulf.” and mew’s voice is suddenly hard. 

he doesn’t smell of blood tonight but when gulf looks back over his shoulder, the light from the fireplace throws hard shadows on the alpha’s face, highlighting his sharp features. 

mew doesn’t look like he’s in a good mood. 

neither is gulf.

“and i have nothing to say.” 

“you can’t tell me what you were talking about?”

“what is it to you?” gulf snaps, turning around to face mew. “he was telling me about the pack. that’s it.”

with the way mew’s jaw ticks, gulf thinks this will be another night where they fight. it makes him slightly nervous.

“we’re to appear at the dining hall tonight.” mew says instead, confusing him. gulf was preparing for a fight.

“why?” gulf’s grip on the doorframe tightens. he doesn't want to go out and feel all the eyes on him again. 

“it’s tradition. get ready.” mew ends the conversation like that and goes to his room. 

gulf stands like that for a moment, trying to calm his jumping nerves. what was he supposed to get ready for? it was just dinner.

‘get ready’ is actually gulf taking a bath after mew, borrowing mew’s clothes again and getting scented. it’s all fine until it gets to the scenting. 

it always ended in a disaster for them so far and gulf hoped it won’t be the same this time. but looks like he’s wrong again.

lost in his thoughts, he forgets to take fresh clothes with him to the bathroom. so here he is, with a towel around his hips before mew as the alpha fishes out clothes for him. 

of course, the alpha doesn’t hesitate to stare, eyes trailing all over his chest and stomach.  

gulf didn’t think it would be a big deal. the alpha barely spared him a glance on the daily but now that he’s half exposed, mew is interested? 

how typically alpha. 

“are you done staring?” gulf grits out, crossing his arms across his chest. he tries his best to stamp down the satisfaction rising in him.

mew is already dressed in black pants and a soft, brown looking shirt with a deep neckline that stops in the middle of his chest. 

the sleeves are pushed up and unwillingly, gulf’s eyes stray to the prominent veins running down his arms.

“why?” mew presses the clothes to gulf’s chest, his thumb touching skin. “you have more to show?”

gulf snatches the clothes away roughly with a sneer on his face. “you won’t be the one looking even if i did.”

strangely, mew doesn’t bite back. if anything, he leans back against the wooden wardrobe and eyes him up and down. 

“didn’t you say you don’t want to be shared?” mew asks something disgusting so casually that the question doesn’t really register in gulf’s mind immediately. 

when did he say that? and what shared? 

a slight frown appears between gulf’s brows as he tries to recall. he sees mew’s hand extend, the back of his hand coming closer, until a knuckle grazes his stomach. 

it clenches in surprise and gulf doesn’t know why he’s letting the alpha touch him like this but even that little point of contact heats his blood.

when he looks at mew, he looks like he’s waiting for something. 

then it clicks, their conversation on his first night here.

“do you share omegas?” 

“share omegas?”

“will i be passed around after you have your fun?” 

“no,” mew had grit out, jaw twitching. “nobody can lay their hands on you except me.”

“so what?” gulf asks, voice coming out weaker, feeling a little light headed. was the alpha threatening him? “so what if i said that?”

the audacity.

he shoves mew’s hand away harshly, fired up from the anxiety rising in him. the alpha tenses visibly, stance straightening and they’re nose to nose. 

gulf balls up the clothes and throws them off to the side somewhere. 

“are you telling me–” gulf breathes out, unable to believe what the alpha was implying. 

it can’t be. he can’t possibly stuck with an alpha who treats him like just a hole to fuck. 

“if i won’t be your bitch, you’ll throw me to other alphas?”

“i did not say that–” mew starts, voice firm but gulf’s isn’t in a place to listen. 

his disbelief had turned into anxiety which sprouted hundreds of little fears that will stay rooted deep in him for a long time now. 

“then why the fuck did you even bring that up!” gulf demands, voice close to a yell. 

he thought that maybe, just maybe, even if he was forced to mate mew, he would be different. 

that he wouldn’t blackmail him. 

gulf admits he was stupid to even lower his guard enough to hope something like that from an alpha . 

“what did you say?” mew’s anger is so clear in his eyes and to know that they’re both back to being hostile with each other itself makes gulf lose hope. 

it’s almost the final straw in this false safety gulf has built for himself.

hell, the alpha he lives with is so unpredictable with so much power and control over him that it makes him want to cry sometimes.

“huh?” mew prompts with an icy glare and it is an expression very familiar to gulf. if anything, it’s the only familiar look on the alpha. there’s no regret in those eyes. gulf knows they will never work out. “what did you say? who the fuck will see more then?”

“not. you.” thoroughly provoked, gulf emphasizes each word. he can see how close mew is to losing it and loves it. 

gulf will do anything to make the alpha suffer somehow. for a split second, he forgets mew is an alpha and shoves at his shoulder. 

the anger he feels makes it hard to breathe, makes his teeth ache with the need to tear into something. 

gulf doesn’t even see mew’s reaction.

big hands grip his wrists, pull them behind him, and twist him around. knees hitting the edge of the bed, he topples over, face down. 

gulf immediately struggles, tries to loosen the tight grip around his wrists but mew’s chest presses hard against his back. he manages to pull a knee up. 

the alpha is heavy and with only a knee propped up on the bed, gulf trembles with the effort to hold them both up. 

“i told you not to fucking do that,” mew’s breath is hot against the shell of his ear and gulf shies away, twisting his face away. “next time you do this, i’ll make you submit.” 

though mew’s words make him grit his teeth and grunt as he tries to pull his hands away, when his nose drags through the sheets, all gulf smells is the alpha. 

it’s a slightly fading but strong scent that involuntarily makes him press his cheek into the spot. 

he forgets for a moment. forgets what they’ve doing, why they’re fighting.

“get off me,” gulf huffs, coming to his senses. “i won’t listen to a damn word you say. i fucking hate you.”

“see, you keep provoking me like this.”

“i didn’t do anything! you were threatening me,” gulf’s scream comes out muffled as he turns his face to the other side. 

the scent makes him restless and the longer he stays pressed under the alpha, he’s terrified of liking it.

“then don’t talk stupid shit, yeah?” mew’s hips press against his and gulf prays that he won’t start getting wet. it would be so humiliating. “you’re mine. better remember that and act like it.”

gulf pulls at the firm grip on his wrists. he really wants to tell the alpha to go fuck himself but he’s not really in a position to throw his mouth around like that.

the longer he’s unable to free himself, the anger starts dimming down into something ugly. gulf knows this feeling. the powerlessness, defeat and self hate make his omega vulnerable.

and then his wolf will have him crave the alpha’s praise – mew’s approval. gulf doesn’t want any of it.

just as his neck was starting to hurt, gulf’s attention snaps to his loosening towel. 

it comes undone before gulf can blink and the only thing keeping it in place is their glued hips. 

“let me go!”

fuck his luck. 

but mew didn’t seem to have noticed yet and gulf prays it stays like that. 

gulf’s cheeks burn when he manages to look down and sees the alpha’s covered legs bracketing his from the back. 

it’s an unwelcome distraction.

he wants to stay angry, in control . 

but mew’s weight is starting to feel good on top of him and gulf’s mind begins to entertain all the scenarios they can be in if they given in to their sexual tension. 

he hates the view, this angle, because it makes him think what it would be like if they had no clothes on, if he could feel the alpha’s–

after all, they would end up all over each other for their mating anyway. 

mew frees him entirely and backs away.

gulf quickly secures his towel, tucking the edge in tight and holding onto it. he turns over and mew has stepped back, eyeing the white knuckled grip on his towel. 

maybe it’s because of the low light, but mew’s eyes seem darker as they run over him again.

this is one of those moments that gulf can’t explain – when he’s desperately trying to blink back shameful tears while loving the alpha’s eyes on him at the same time.

when he wants to know how riled up he can get the alpha to be, how much he can make the alpha slip, with hate staying ever present and ugly in the back of his mind. 

mew’s fingers find his jaw just as gulf sits up properly and he resists the temptation to close his eyes and nuzzle into the big, warm palm. 

his omega urges embarrass him sometimes, especially when he starts wanting things from mew and reacting for him. 

the only thing gulf wants to do is hurt mew as much as he hurts him. 

“remember this,” mew’s eyes bore deep into his. “you were mine the moment i laid eyes on you.”

stubbornly maintaining eye contact, gulf lets mew tilt his face up. 

“i won’t let another alpha even look at you long enough.”

“then why did you say that? when you talk about me like that– like–” gulf stops himself before he says too much.

he can’t let go of mew’s words. the illusion of safety that gulf had slowly built shook like autumn leaves and crashed to the ground when mew uttered those words. 

“i hated it.” gulf concludes. “next time i hear you talk about me like that, you’ll regret it.”

“watch that mouth of yours,” mew warns, stepping closer. a rough thumb presses down on gulf’s bottom lip and he barely holds back a flinch. 

when the alpha begins to trace his lips, gulf’s heart thuds and his eyes close for a second before he snaps them open. 

mew is looking at him and gulf’s ears get so hot, they tingle as he tries his best to swallow through his watering mouth. 

here he is, getting worked up when just moments ago, mew was threatening him. but still, shamelessly, gulf wants him. 

when he knows it can’t get better than this, how long should he resist?

he wants mew. 

he wants the alpha to kiss him. 

to leave marks on him, to fuck him. 

gulf hates being an omega sometimes. 

“i wish i never entered this pack.” gulf says lowly, leaning away. 

“too bad i found you.” mew says after being silent for a moment. the satisfaction in his voice makes gulf clench his jaw.

it feels like a final bolt in the door. the alpha truly didn’t give a damn about what gulf wanted. 

“yeah, too bad.” 

mew’s knee presses on the bed beside gulf’s legs as a wrist rubs against his neck, scenting him. 

right, they still had to keep up the pretense. 

gulf sits still and lets mew do his thing. there was nothing new to argue about. at times like these, gulf feels the weight of it all on his shoulder.

“why didn’t you scent me like this every time?” he asks, looking down at his lap. did the alpha take advantage of him when they could do something so simple as this? 

“i don’t need to scent you much with the way you rubbed yourself on my bed.” 

“i should do that everytime then.” gulf responds sarcastically.

“you should.” mew agrees, dropping his hands.

“what?” gulf glances at him and mew looks serious. 

“saves us both the trouble.” mew walks over to where gulf threw his clothes earlier and picks them up, bringing them back and dropping them into gulf’s lap. “you need to sleep on the bed.”

“why should i sleep on the bed?”

“why are you talking like you don’t know how scenting works?” mew sounds a little annoyed and gulf snaps his mouth shut. 

he really didn’t know much about scenting. he has seen and heard a lot about it. 

mew was actually the only one after his parents to ever scent him. 

“sleeping on the same bed is the best way to have each other’s scents. i’ll only need to scent you thoroughly when we’re meeting my family.” 

“okay.” gulf agrees, feeling a little small. he really had no idea about a lot of things. 

if only he had friends, they would talk about scenting, kissing, mating, and all the things that will help him through this. 

while gulf happened to see and listen from afar, there was nobody to guide him through it. 

maybe he should have spent his first heat with an alpha but he was too busy trying to find a place to hide and avoid alphas at all costs.

“get dressed. we’re getting late.” gulf nods and as soon as mew leaves and closes the door behind him, he pulls on the clothes and walks to the mirror. 

as expected, with the fireplace throwing just the right amount of light on him, gulf sees it. 

pink cheeks from being rubbed on the sheets. when he’s fixing his hair, gulf sees the light marks of mew’s fingers beginning to form around his wrists.

no one would even question it if they saw. 

when the omega within him makes him feel a little hot at the signs of alpha’s strength, gulf thinks his wolf will be the end of him. 

it can’t differentiate between abuse and love.

gulf is still not comfortable to be in crowds and mew’s family itself is a little crowd. he didn’t expect the dinner to go well but he didn’t think it would go like this either.

everyone had already started eating by the time the two of them arrived. 

they joined mew’s family and sat side by side. the only one’s there were the head alpha, head omega, zee, saint and new. 

when gulf asked about the others, to be polite, he was told that with the pack being big in number, everyone didn't fit in the hall at once so there were batches. 

this was the first one and had the pack elders with some other important people in the pack who wanted to see the new couple. 

dinner is less eating and more introductions. 

the scrutiny gets unbearable for gulf after a while but mew has a firm unyielding grip around his waist as if to keep him from running away.

thankfully, all questions are directed towards mew, even the ones about gulf. he would’ve grumbled about it if he wasn’t so overwhelmed. 

“you should make an appearance at the mating ceremony. it will start by the time you finish dinner.” an alpha who was fairly decent from the rest invites them to his son’s ceremony. 

gulf perks up a little. he had no idea about the pack’s ceremonies and traditions. this would be a nice opportunity to see what their own ceremony will be like.

“of course, we’ll be there.” mew turns to look at him and the look on his face makes gulf uneasy. the glint in the alpha’s eye is unforgiving. “tuaeng hasn’t attended any of our pack matings yet.” 

tuaeng.

such a lovely endearment but the fake smile on mew’s face is telling gulf that something is really off. what was mew plotting? 

“son,” the head alpha begins and gulf is grateful for the cut in. but mew’s stiffens beside him, the hold on his waist tightening. “what about a public mating? zee had it and even most of the pack still—”

“no,” mew’s voice sounds more like a growl and it delays gulf’s focus on what the head alpha said. “absolutely not. this is not up for debate. you will all see the proof on his neck after the mating. it will be private.”

“why not?” gulf blurts out unintentionally. the grip on his chopsticks weakens when he’s met with dead silence. mew’s father nods at the alpha as if prompting him to answer. 

mew’s scent itself is an answer. gulf knows he made a mistake. when he looks at mew, his eyes are so cold and dangerous, gulf’s throat dries. that’s why mew’s small smile scares him. 

“actually, how about i… discuss with gulf and let you all know?” there’s a mixed reaction. while mew’s mother and new have encouraging smiles on their faces, the head alpha looks too pleased. zee looks like he wants to be anywhere but here and saint seems ready to bolt.

“it better happen as scheduled, however it is to be. we’ve already sent invitations to the other packs.” the head alpha says in all seriousness. 

“you decided on that date, father.” mew’s forced calm is concerning. he looks like he’s resisting the urge to kill. his father or gulf, the omega doesn’t know. “or else, i would have mated him by now.”

gulf snaps his head towards the alpha in panic but he’s having a stare down with his father. the thing is, he knows mew would actually mate him out of spite if anyone triggers him. 

“of course. you’re controlling the urgency… very well.” the head alpha glances between them and directs a pointed look at mew. 

“well, there’s barely four days left. they will go by so fast.” the head omega flashes an assuring smile at gulf. 

it doesn’t assure gulf. 

because why didn’t mew want their mating to be the same as his brother’s? 

“let’s eat quickly. we still need to make a quick appearance at the mating ceremony before going home.” zee reminds them. 

“you kids should go, we’ll head home.” the head omega says and the head alpha nods in agreement. 

the tension lessens the moment mew’s parents leave the table and everyone visibly relaxes. gulf is finishing up the last of his food when he notices saint.

the look on the omega’s face makes gulf curious and to his surprise, said omega suddenly gets up from the table. his is dinner left half-eaten.  

“excuse me, everyone. i’ll get going. i’m not feeling well.” saint announces, his chair scraping against the floor loudly as he stands up and leaves without another word. 

throwing a worried glance at the older omega’s retreating back, new asks zee if he should follow the older omega. zee sighs, shaking his head. 

“no need,” the younger alpha says. “you know he never stays for public matings.”

“still… because of me?” new asks so softly and zee’s arm pulling the omega close to him makes gulf look away, feeling like he’s intruding on something private.

long fingers wrap around his wrist, making gulf jump and turn to look at mew.

“tuaeng come, it’s starting.” that’s all he says and gulf is guided to stand up.

gulf is too busy focused on mew’s hard clench of his jaw than their surroundings. the alpha’s gaze is fixed straight ahead, his lips pressed into a thin line, body tense as he nearly drags gulf forward by his waist.

when a bouquet of flowers is thrust into his hands, gulf finally looks around. mew directs them towards a bench, one of the many in a semi circular arrangement, facing a pile of numerous fur pelts, blankets, and a couple–

gulf snaps his eyes closed at the sight, stumbling to a stop and forcing mew to do the same. 

this can’t be happening. 

how did he not notice this long?

how did he not hear the sounds?

they were so loud, impossible to ignore–

gulf’s heart leaps to his throat as cold sweat starts to dot his face and he feels sick, the dinner he just ate uncomfortably churning in his uneasy stomach. 

mew grips his arm, drags him somewhere a few feet away and pulls him onto his lap, sideways.

are they really to sit here and watch this?

“open your eyes.” mew’s voice is hot near his neck. gulf knows very well that the alpha will make him watch it and he tries to think of something that will pull him out of the situation.

the public mating is a shock to him but what freaks him out is the number of people watching it. 

“gulf,” mew’s voice is hard as fingers find his face and make him face the scene. “i said, open your eyes.”

gulf listens and keeps his eyes down, not daring to look up. he notices that they’re seated a little far away from the rest of the pack. but there are so many people, the air filled with various pheromones.

the lust is so heavy in the air, he curls in on himself, unable to stand it. 

it made his skin crawl.

“now look. look,” mew forces his face forward. gulf immediately starts pulling away, squeezing his eyes shut. “make a scene here and you’ll regret it, omega.”

“i don’t want to see it.” gulf manages to mumble, the couple’s sounds itself getting to him and making him nauseous. 

he doesn’t want to see it. 

not more than what he already saw.

they mating couple fucking like there’s no tomorrow and all the others enjoying the show, hyping the alpha, looking– leering at the omega—

gulf can’t take it. 

it scares him. violently rips out every ounce of safety he ever felt in this pack. if this was how it was going to be, gulf won’t survive in this pack. 

“oh, i thought you like public matings, wanted one.” mew’s other hand slips under gulf’s shirt, arm pressing hard and strong against his stomach, pulling gulf closer to the alpha’s chest. “why won’t you look? they don’t care, this is nothing.”

“no. no, p-please.” for the first time, gulf stutters, breath quickening. his eyes involuntarily graze over the couple again and he fights back a shudder. he grips mew’s arms, squeezing it. “i don’t want it, i don’t want it– i can’t see this anymore.”

gulf turns away and towards the alpha, ready to beg. it was getting unbearable. 

mew’s eyes don’t leave his face for a second despite being so close to each other. the alpha must love what he’s seeing on gulf’s face. the fear and the discomfort.

as always, mew does the unexpected. 

he pulls gulf in by the side of his neck, nose poking as the only warning before lips and teeth latch onto the skin. 

gulf drops the flowers in his grip.

he doesn’t feel anything for a split second but then his body burns, heat spreading through his body like a wildfire. 

it’s so intense, it has him gasping, eyes rolling back and he manages to snap them shut before someone sees. his heart pounds, deafening him to whatever noise is around them. 

in bits and pieces, he can hear the growls and moans. a strange feeling bubbles up and he’s not sure if he likes it until sharp teeth follow a hot tongue that licks it’s next targeted spot and gulf doesn’t know what to do with himself. 

if just some kisses on the neck from the alpha reduce him to this, gulf suppresses a moan thinking about how their mating is going to be. if he could feel pleasure like this, it was enough. 

it was enough for him to keep up with how miserable everything else made him feel. 

they’re openly facing the pack and his face is so blazing hot, it feels itchy with the need to hide. mew’s other hand is flat against his stomach, fingers pressing into the softness. 

something deep within him tugs in delight, hot and tight.

unable to think of anything else, gulf grips mew’s arm and drops his head, giving mew more access while trying to find some scrapes of privacy. 

but there isn’t any.

gulf knew eyes were on them from the moment they set foot here. and from what he saw earlier, this was like a chaste peck in comparison. still, this was new. for him. and from the alpha too.

the to-be-mated couple are always under scrutiny and this was the most physical affection they have seen from the two of them. this won’t go down just like that.

just when gulf is a moment away from leaking slick despite clenching his thighs together tightly, mew stops, breathing hard.

his hand drops from gulf’s neck to his waist and holds on tight, nose trailing all the way up to gulf’s cheek and stealing the scent in a greedy inhale. 

still shaken from the intensity of it, gulf turns to look at the alpha. their hair tangles with how close they are and mew’s eyes are fixed on his lips. 

mew swallows hard and pulls back with a little groan, finally meeting his eyes. a sneaky thumb traces circles on his soft stomach and it makes gulf shiver. 

“so soft…” mew whispers and by this point, gulf is ready to straddle him right there and let mew touch him wherever he wants. the lust is so obvious in the alpha’s eyes, it makes gulf feel breathless. 

gulf will have this lusty gaze on him any day over the one filled with hate and anger.

“you look pretty sitting on my lap like this, tuaeng .” a squeeze to his waist and gulf thinks praises from the alpha’s mouth shouldn’t feel this good. but they do, make him weak, leave him craving more.

the crowd around them is starting to get a little loud and gulf’s discomfort comes back at once. 

public matings are his worst nightmares. 

“can we– let’s go back.” gulf pleads, shifting in mew’s lap to stand up. the alpha’s arms around him simply anchor him down until he can’t budge. when he frowns and opens his mouth to argue, mew cuts him off. “i want to go–”

“if we go back now, you know how it will end.” gulf stares at the alpha and for a moment thinks he should pull the alpha back to the cabin and get to it. mew must see it on his face because he tilts his head and says. “you won’t be able to take it.”

the alpha truly had no idea about all the things gulf could take with the way he lived until now. gulf wants to challenge him simply out of spite, but his heartbeat hikes in alarm at mew’s seriousness. 

so mew makes him watch the whole thing and by the end of it, gulf is fighting off light tremors as they walk back to the cabin. 

gulf feels like a part of him broke.

the mating was still going on and gulf wanted to cry just looking at the omega. though he looked like he was thoroughly enjoying it, gulf doesn’t know how much of it is real.

he knows he can’t sleep tonight, not until he forgets all that he saw today. as if his nightmares weren’t enough to steal his sleep, now this will add onto it.

gulf is the one to speed up the last couple of steps and push the door open to the cabin. without waiting for the alpha, he enters his room, closes the door and is about to get down onto his bed when mew barges in. 

“no. not now, just leave me alone.” gulf sits on his knees, arranging the sheets on his mattress to sleep. or try to.

“you’re supposed to sleep in my bed tonight.” mew reminds him and gulf pauses. right, he agreed to that. but with how restless he feels, gulf doubts an alpha’s presence will help in any way.

“i don’t want to.”

“gulf, i’m not asking you to sleep there to warm my damn bed. you agreed before.” frustration rings clear in mew’s voice but gulf is reaching his limit too. “we need to smell like each other but we don’t.” 

“i don’t want to!” gulf bursts, turning around to face the alpha. “i don’t want to do anything with you right now. just stay the fuck away from me–”

loud, deafening banging on the front door kills  gulf’s voice in his throat. he’s on his feet in an instant, heart jumping to his throat.

who could it be this late?

was it the pack demanding a public mating?

was it the rogue wolves that finally caught up to his scent and followed him here?

“gulf,” the alpha calls out, drawing his attention. 

mew’s eyes feel invasive on his face and only then gulf realizes how prominent the terror on his face could be to the alpha. he can’t pass this off as a mere jumpscare, not when he was visibly scared like this. 

“what are you so afraid of?” mew asks, deadly calm as the banging on the door continues. “ who?” 

gulf’s heart thunders uncomfortably in his chest even as he tries to pacify himself. breath quickening, all the worst scenarios hit him. the terrorizing thoughts deafen him to mew’s questions. 

it’s not the rogues, they can’t enter the pack like that and go knocking—

but what if it is them?  

even if it’s not them, is it the pack wanting to see their public mating?

gulf can’t do it, not that. anything but that. 

“i—no,” gulf stutters, skin feeling hot and cold, eyes always darting to the door like it could burst open and second. then what? he didn’t want to be taken away now. “just—j-just, make it stop! who is it?”

“you’re scared,” mew notes unnecessarily, stating the obvious. what can gulf even say? that mew made him watch the one thing he feared the most? that there are rogue wolves hunting him down? that he’s losing sleep every night, plagued by his own thoughts? “take your things and go inside, to the– to our bedroom.” 

gulf stands like an idiot at the unexpected suggestion. he expected to be interrogated and maybe even dragged out to face whoever was out there. 

mew simply waits for him as gulf collects himself and his things. mew rolls his mattress away and stashes it in the bottom shelf of the wardrobe. 

it feels so wrong, horrible and shameful that the alpha saw him like this. why did mew even have to come into his room?

mew definitely won’t let this go now. and if gulf confessed the reason he ran away, what was the guarantee that mew wouldn’t kick him out of the pack? 

the alpha can’t know about this until they mate. 

gulf had just turned on his heel to run away like a bat out of hell when mew steps before him. his eyes make gulf feel like he knows exactly what gulf is running away from. but he can’t.

he can’t 

he can’t possibly know—

“no one can get to you. not past me.” with that mew steps away and goes to the door, jerking his chin towards the bedroom when gulf remains frozen there. 

it was just a statement. 

the alpha probably didn’t even mean it. 

but as gulf enters the bedroom, slams the door shut and sticks himself to it, taking in lungfuls of the alpha’s scent, he can’t stop thinking about it and the relief that swept over him by just hearing that. 

if the same hand that hurts you, comforts you, it relieves the pain in an altogether different way. 

still a little jumpy, he waits for any concerning noises but he only hears light, muffled laughter. an ear pressed to the wood, and more laughter. the suspense doesn’t last for long because soon, there’s a gentle knock against the door, more like a tap. 

“gulf,” mew says. “it’s just my brothers.”

taking in a relieved breath, gulf opens the door, stepping back. mew looks behind his shoulder and gulf follows his line of sight to their main door ajar, and he can now hear the friendly, familiar voices. 

mew brushes past him to enter the room. looking at the pile of gulf’s blankets and pillows, the alpha arranges them on the bed. gulf opens his mouth to say that he can do it himself but mew is quick and finishes putting everything in place. 

like they sleep together here every night.

“you should sleep.” mew suggests, nodding at the bed. “my brothers want to hang out. it will take a while.”

gulf avoids his gaze, stubbornly looking at the floor and nodding in answer. mew’s unpredictable behavior really drives him crazy. he is stern one moment and considerate in the next. 

by the time mew closes the door behind him, gulf’s eyes are filled with tears. 

the evening’s events press down heavily on his chest. feeling of being trapped and helplessness are the worst hit to him.

he gets into bed, pulling the blankets up to his chin and curling into himself. he’s still unable to forget the mating and all kinds of intrusive, horrible thoughts keep him from sleeping. 

gulf can’t close his eyes because then, he will only see everything that happened this evening or the rogue wolves. when mew later sees that gulf stayed up until he came back, except for an expression of slight surprise, the alpha doesn’t say anything. 

he doesn’t say anything, when after he lays down in bed, how gulf’s scent weighs with sorrow, how he shakes with suppressed sobs and the way he curls so far away from the alpha. 

like that, neither good, nor bad, days pass and every day weighs heavily on gulf. every morning, or noon, he wakes up to an empty bed and breakfast gone cold. 

on most occasions, he’s surrounded by the pack, everyone eager to interact with him, and including him in the activities. the mating arrangements are taking place in full swing and mew’s cabin is flooded with people as soon as gulf lets them in to decorate the place.

when gulf asked to feel belonged somewhere again, this was not what he meant. 

he’s actually lonelier than ever. 

yes, gulf will finally belong to a big, strong pack. he was safe, he was mating the head alpha’s firstborn handsome son, he was respected wherever he went, had a big beautiful cabin, and a family that already took him in. 

this was everything he ever wanted. 

but not like this, goddamn it!

as per mew’s instructions, whenever they’re outside together, gulf pretends like mew is the love of his life. they’re required to make more appearances as their mating ceremony comes closer and gulf has perfected the art of faking affection. 

they have attended family gatherings, pack meetings and not even a single person in the entire pack can tell that it’s been days since they spoke to each other when they’re alone. 

mew is gone the entire day. he had tried to talk to him but gulf had stubbornly remained quiet, staring out into the distance because zoning out felt so good. minutes, hours would go by and gulf didn’t have to be present. 

there are some stretches of time, most of the day which passes quickly but when night approaches his fear eats him alive and it gets hard to even swallow as he fights shivers. 

he doesn’t understand why all the nightmarish thoughts about the rogues plague him when he’s days away from mating an alpha, when he sleeps next to an alpha.

the fear of falling into the hands of the rogues traps him, has him shivering, trembling and tongue weighing down with dread. 

it ruins his sleep, and also ruins his day. it comes to a point when gulf doesn’t leave the cabin except for eating and that too, when it gets too much, the food is brought to him.

everyone strangely encourages his homestay, telling him to rest. new and saint try to get him to hang out sometimes but everytime gulf looks at new, he’s reminded of that omega he saw being mated right in front of his eyes.

there was so much to be afraid of. and with mew only coming back at night, gulf spirals out of control. 

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

there’s two days left for his mating with gulf and after insisting for it to be private, mew involves himself in everything but the mating arrangements just to not think about it. 

gulf would be there to take care of that anyway and mew felt the more distance they had between them, the better. 

of course, the alpha in him protests but mew ignores it.

the omega had become entirely quiet since the night they started sleeping together. mew doesn’t want to accept that it’s his fault. 

he didn’t even do anything. 

but the omega blamed him. if mew hadn’t asked, he wouldn’t have known. 

“you made me like this,” gulf had mumbled, eyes dead. they were so dull, it was difficult for mew to believe they were the same ones that sparkled like bright crystals even at night. “is this what you wanted?”

and mew couldn’t say anything. 

generally, he would have scared the omega and shaken some sense into him but not this time. not when the omega looked so fragile, like he would break with a single touch.

so they have silently decided to ignore each other. if gulf wasn’t sleeping in his bed, he wouldn’t even smell like him. though it might not be a concern with how the omega stopped going out.

gulf has been inside the cabin for the past two days and mew made sure that food was delivered to him. the omega appears in his mind at random moments during the day. 

when he’s in a meeting, he wonders if the omega woke up. when he’s on a hunt, he remembers the omega’s pretty face. when he’s going over pack treaties, he misses the omega’s scent even when recently, the warm sweet scent is constantly woven with sadness and fear.

the alpha in him is unable to stand it anymore. and mew can feel the reigns slipping through his fingers, desperate to comfort the omega in some way. they still don’t know a thing about each other but mew wants the omega’s scent to be happy and flowing. 

gulf’s fighting spirit that he likes seems to have vanished suddenly and mew knows it’s something beyond his own behavior that made the omega collapse like this.

when he enters their cabin that night, it’s quiet like it has been the past couple of days. 

no glares from pretty eyes, no angry press of plush lips, no huffs or sarcastic remarks from the omega. 

it felt like the omega wasn’t even there.

while they don’t like each other, mew doesn’t want either of them to suffer. they could have some kind of mutually beneficial relationship, couldn’t they? they just needed tolerance towards each other. mew won’t ask for anything more.

when mew enters the bedroom, the omega is curled up on his side of the bed, with only his fluffy head of hair visible. he wants to march up to the omega, pull the stupid blanket off and shake some anger into him so that he’ll talk, scream, say– do something. 

instead he takes a bath, quietly gets into bed and stares off into space wondering it mating gulf is a bad idea. they were just a day away from their mating and that, they will be many appearances to make, places to travel to and newly mated ceremonies to take part in. 

they can’t go on like this but mew is so close to being in the position he always wanted, he can’t help being selfish.

mew’s nearly asleep when he hears a soft sob, a sudden bitterness of gulf’s scent following soon, jerking him awake. it’s the omega’s fifth night and he started sleeping on the bed next to mew from the past three nights, all of which gulf has spent crying. 

mew hadn’t uttered a word and neither did gulf. there was nothing to say that would stop the omega from falling apart. the crying grated on mew’s nerves the first night but one look at gulf’s swollen eyes the next morning, the image hadn’t left his mind ever since. 

the omega still managed to look pretty, leaving mew conflicted with himself. he wanted to do something , but didn’t know what would work. mew didn’t think his interference would help in any way when they never talk to each other if they’re alone. 

gulf had only accepted to sleep on the bed so that mew won’t have to scent him thoroughly anymore, it was obvious. even with the few times they had to scent each other until now, they got too carried away. 

“i should do that every time then.” gulf had responded sarcastically.

“you should.”

mew had replied truthfully, didn’t think much of it. didn’t think how much he got used to holding gulf, pulling him in, taking in his scent. 

didn’t know his hands had already memorized gulf’s body wherever they touched and every time mew looked at the omega, he wanted to touch so badly. the alpha in him hated being away from gulf, not being able to touch the omega he would be mating soon, within days. 

gulf wasn’t shy when it came to proximity. he wasn’t afraid to touch back, hold. but it was clear he didn’t want to. mew shouldn’t want to either, it didn’t make sense. but here he was, a captivated fool. 

no matter how much the tension and temptation thickened between them, they kept their backs to each other and would wake up pretty much the same, away from each other.

once in a while though, in the middle of the night when mew turns around in his sleep, he finds the sleeping omega facing him, and lets himself take in every inch of gulf’s pretty face until his eyes grow heavy and fall shut again. 

now as he lays there, with their backs to each other again and listens to gulf’s crying, mew tries to let this be another night where he pretends to sleep and doesn’t bother himself with things that shouldn’t concern him. 

he remains remains still, trying to control his breathing. 

this omega is still a stranger. mew reminds himself. 

he shouldn’t care. didn’t need to care. mew really didn’t know exactly why gulf was crying but he could think of a few recent reasons. 

having nearly convinced himself, mew was about to ignore the situation when he picked up new, sudden, heavy traces of fear in gulf’s scent. 

it makes him jerk, has his muscles clenching instantly in response, hyper alert of what could frighten the omega to this degree. the alpha in him is restless, looking, searching, hunting for whatever reduced the omega to this. 

when gulf nearly chokes on his tears, coughing and gasping. mew doesn’t give a flying fuck about faking indifference anymore.

mew pushes himself up and is about to turn around, lips parted, when the omega breaks the silence.

“don’t you dare turn around,” gulf’s shaky voice stops him. it trembles, thick and watery. his gasped sobs don’t let him talk. “you… you don’t— have the r-right— you’re not allowed… to see m-me like this.” 

letting the words sink in, mew realizes he only heard the omega cry, never saw him cry. mew saw withheld tears of fury and hate and he now sees the raging promise of revenge every day but he didn’t ever see gulf cry like his world was ending. 

gulf’s sobs makes mew ache in an unexplainable way. others’ emotions didn’t affect him. they never did, not until now. 

it makes him feel like the omega shouldn’t be this distressed when the alpha was right there and desperately wants to take the omega into his arms and make whatever was distressing him so much go away.

but he has no right to interfere in the omega’s personal matters. what did he even plan to do? solve the omega’s problems? 

gulf’s sobs break his restraints and with a short displeased growl, mew rolls over, throwing an arm around the omega’s waist and pulls his body snug to his own. his nose gets buried into the omega’s sweet smelling hair and mew would have melted if it were some other situation.

he didn’t know what or who scared the omega to this extent and made him so restless even with mew right by his side. 

it made him mad, body tensing up frequently to hunt down the cause of his omega’s distress. hell, gulf wasn’t his yet but no one could lay a finger on gulf as long as he was there. 

didn’t the omega know that already? 

“what? what is it?” he demands into gulf’s shoulder. the omega has stiffened against him and mew expects everything from kick and punching to a wrestling match but the omega’s strength seems to have disappeared.

when gulf struggles, mumbling through his sobs, his fingers weakly dig into mew’s arm. “let—let me g-go.” 

“you won’t let me see your face. what else am I supposed to do?”

gulf stops and mew can only feel the erratic movement of the omega’s ribcage against his arm. 

“tell me what to do.” mew says in a hushed tone, voice rough. he didn’t want to distress the omega even more but he needs to know how he can help. “is this because of someone? i’ll skin them alive and bring you the pelt.” 

“what if… what if it’s you?” mew wasn’t expecting a response but the omega surprises him and he can’t swallow past the lump in his throat.

“if it’s me… i can do anything but let you go.”

gulf stays silent for a moment. a shiver makes his shoulder lightly bump against mew’s chin.

“i… i don’t have anywhere to go anyway.” gulf mumbles and mew has to press himself close to hear it clearly. he feels the vibrations of gulf’s voice through his chest. “i don’t deserve this and it’s not fair but i have no choice.”

gulf shifts in his hold and when mew loosens his grip, he’s shocked to see the omega turn to face him. 

blinking the last of his tears away, gulf looks at him and mew feels like he’s floating. this must be the first time the omega has looked at him in days and mew didn’t realize how much he missed it.

gulf’s eyes are sparkly again, though puffy, his nose and lips, red. and mew is touching the omega’s soft cheek before he can stop himself. his skin is a little sticky with the dried tear tracks but mew doesn’t give a damn.

his omega is not rejecting his touch.

“i’m sorry,” mew finally says what he was supposed to since the day he forcefully brought the omega into the pack. he cups gulf’s face as gently as possible, marveling at how soft his skin is. “i wish i didn’t have to take you that night but i had to.”

“too late now, isn’t it?” gulf’s fingers curl around his wrist and mew’s entire focus is narrowed down to that little point of contact. he moves a little closer to him and mew’s not entirely sure if this is real. 

“you know… when you touch me, i can’t think of anything else, alpha.” mew’s breath hitches at the title. the omega uses it so rarely, mew craves hearing that word fall from his lips. “i think it’s the only way i can go on.”

“what?” mew whispers. they’re so close, if mew tilts his face a little, their noses will be touching. the omega’s scent has started to change. while there are still hints of sadness, gulf’s scent has never been this… inviting before. 

“can you touch me more?” gulf asks so sweetly, mew thinks his mind is playing tricks. his eyes fall on the omega’s full lips and he can’t look away. “i need you to distract me from everything. then i’ll be okay.”

for some reason, it snaps him out of his daze. 

“hang on.” mew moves back a little but gulf follows him, fisting his shirt and leaning in close. 

“why are you pretending to be so nice? i see the way you look at me. you can barely hold yourself back.” 

mew gulps, not sure what is going on. why was gulf suddenly so willing?

gulf’s eyes land on his lips and he’s leaning closer. mew turns his face away, and the omega’s lips land on the corner of his mouth. his heart is uncontrollable in his chest but mew had no idea if the omega is even in the right mind.

“what are you doing, gulf?” mew grinds out, looking back into the omega’s hooded, piercing eyes. “do you have any idea how you’re looking at me right now?”

“like what?”

“like you’re in heat.” 

gulf laughs, moving closer and rubs their noses together. mew stills.

“i’m not. didn’t we go to the healer? you heard her, it’s not due for another month or so.” the omega’s eyes droop close and mew fights to keep his open. they can’t do this. they’ll end up mating right now. 

gulf takes in a deep inhale and moans. “why do you smell so good?”

mew’s heart pounds with the omega’s words. he hasn’t heard gulf express his desire towards him and to know it’s mutual only adds fuel to his already burning fire. 

“even that morning– all this time… are you doing this intentionally?” mew blurts out. is that why mew had been unable to resist gulf’s scent? because he wanted him back all this time?

gulf wanted him?

is that why they were always releasing pheromones when they were near each other?

“no. i didn’t do anything.” gulf’s eyes keep shifting between his eyes and lips. he doesn’t even look like he’s listening to what mew’s saying. 

the omega finally seems to have lost his patience and leans in, a hand keeping mew’s face in place. 

gulf’s nose trails up his cheekbone and nuzzles into his cheek. when mew takes in a breath heavy with gulf’s scent, it fills his mouth, rich and thick on his tongue. mew, initially frozen with surprise, reacts the moment gulf’s lips graze his jaw. 

pressing gulf back into the sheets, mew is on him. gulf parts his legs invitingly and mew’s hips slot between the space perfectly and the omega’s thighs tighten around him as if to keep him in place.

mew observes the omega’s eyes for any discomfort but he finds none. 

then they’re all over each other. 

mew’s lips land on gulf’s neck, hands gripping his waist tightly and pulling him close until there’s no space between them. 

everytime gulf tries to take a deep breath, his chest presses against mew’s and he wants to be even closer to the omega. 

gulf throws an arm over his shoulder when he rubs his tongue right on his scent gland. a breathy moan escapes the omega and mew wants to hear it again. when fingers clutching his hair, panting, mew looks up to see gulf bare his neck completely. 

mew pauses when his stomach flips at the sight, taking in the moment. the omega’s neck is long and beautiful, bronze skin unmarked and waiting to wear his bite.

gulf’s adam’s apple bobs and mew wants to trap it between his teeth, mark his neck, throat, collarbones, shoulders and everywhere his eyes land. he feels so hot looking at gulf like this and he’s hardening so fast, his focus is divided. 

gathering control and daring to risk it, mew scrapes his teeth on the sensitive skin. a little whine slips out of the omega and mew grips his waist, pressing him down. he wants to know what other noises he can pull out of gulf.

mew groans, rubbing his face into gulf’s neck and places a bite when he finally smells his slick. 

“wait, wait. i’ll end up marking you.” mew rips himself away before he breaks skin but gulf pulls him closer, fingers gripping his hair. their lips are a breath away from each other and mew still wants— wants something, anything that will feed to his raging fire. 

“we shouldn’t do anything more–” mew speaks just to convince himself but who was he kidding he wanted to take the omega right here, right now. but they need to wait. 

cheeks dotted with a blush, gulf simply raises his chin to finally let their lips touch. 

mew gives up.

he lets go, holding the omega’s face with both hands, crushing their lips together. pries gulf’s lips apart and takes each lip into his mouth, introducing teeth to the lower lip first, biting and tugging. 

oh, how he wanted to do this since the moment he saw the omega. 

that is the first night they kissed each other to sleep, holding each other close. mew felt plush lips against his neck while he had his nose in gulf’s hair.

and he knows this won’t last. tomorrow, they’ll be back to fighting and pretending, only relying on each other’s physical comfort. but until then, he will relish in this peace. 

he remembers the omega’s words. 

“scent me before you leave in the morning.”

just before he loses consciousness, he realizes gulf never told him why he was crying or why he was so scared. 

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

tomorrow, gulf will be ready to distract the alpha again just so his secret is safe until they mate. 

then, he would be as safe as he could be.

but he has to admit.

that gulf wholeheartedly hopes that this burning desire between them never ends. because the moment that happens, they would end with it.

Chapter Text

when omegas come of age, they are warmly welcomed by all other omegas and a sense of community and belonging forms. 

there are new, strong friendships, they spending quality time together, sharing happiness or concerns and most of all – teaching each other everything they need to know, from hunting to how to take care of their family. 

teaching each other how to love.

gulf taught himself how to kill. 

after his parents died, he was the very obvious outcast. it was like he didn’t exist. the only other family he had, his uncle, a beta, was busy trying to control the pack.

gulf was barely eleven summers when he started living alone. 

his aunt had a tight grip on his arm as she dragged him to the little cabins at the far end of the pack. she had opened the door, pushed him inside and told him to stay and behave.

there was a narrow bed, a small bathroom, and a tiny kitchen counter against a wall.

it remained his home for the next eight years. 

over time, he had managed to acquire a box for his clothes, a shaky table and a chair. the only valuables in his cabin were the few belongings of his parents that he got a hold of. 

gulf had a solitary, quiet life and he didn’t mind it. 

he had himself, kept to himself and only stepped out to eat. his neighbors were older wolves who had retired from pack duties and gulf would greet them once in a while. 

one of the benefits of being in a small pack was that it was easy to avoid people. 

he spent more time in his wolf form, running through the forest, learning how to hunt, and spending time in nature.

the pack didn’t know what to do with him anyway and he was ignored, considered useless. 

it was alright.

until he presented as an omega. 

it was an alpha – gulf’s first kill. 

gulf knew something was not right the moment he woke up that morning. 

he had turned eighteen a few weeks ago and was yet to present. most wolves present around sixteen and gulf felt he was better off the longer he didn’t present. 

a few miles away from the pack lands, gulf once found a decent cave that he frequented once in a while. 

so when he stumbled off his bed, feverish, he knew where to go.

first heats can be different for every omega - pleasurable for some, painful for others. 

for gulf, it was downright terrifying. 

as every second passed, his need for touch was growing to the point it had him sobbing, tears streaming down his face. he craved comfort and safety, the two things he was obviously lacking the most. 

the two days his heat lasted, he spent every moment in fear and longing, just waiting for it to pass. 

he wanted some kind of touch so bad. he was desperate. as his heat intensified, anything, anyone would do. 

it made him realize and accept the horrifying fact that he was an omega now. he wanted to be anything but that. because he was now the most vulnerable rank among wolves, the lowest. 

this fact proved itself right from the very moment his heat ended to this day. 

there was an alpha that had found him just as gulf left his cave on the last day of his heat. the fear that rooted into gulf made him feel like he was being choked to death.

if this alpha came a day earlier gulf would have let him do anything. his omega would betray him in an instant – his fear, his disgust for alphas wouldn’t matter even a bit. 

it wouldn’t matter to his omega that giving his body to any alpha that stumbled on him during his heat would completely break him. 

more than the alphas that are ready to take advantage of him, he hated his omega the most. 

fear after a point, turned into irrational anger for gulf. 

the kill didn’t have much of a fight. 

gulf’s teeth sunk into the alpha’s neck as deep as he could and pulled out a big chunk of flesh. 

the alpha had choked on his own blood as gulf dragged him to the edge of the cliff that the cave overlooked and pushed the wolf’s body off.

he didn’t leave until he heard the crack of bones hitting rock, until there was a large enough pool of blood around the alpha that promised all life was drained out of him. 

gulf lost another part of his innocence that day, never to return. 

when he heads back to the pack, of course, everyone notices that he’s an omega now. 

and gulf sees hell for the year he stays before running away. 

the alphas start to take notice of him and what starts as staring soon escalates into chasing him down just for the fun of it, for their satisfaction, to smell the fear on him.

there are bets placed on him, to see who can mate the late head alpha’s omega son. 

it becomes a joke that turns bad so fast, the other omegas stay away from him as he seems to bring out the worst in the alphas. 

after all, he’s an orphan. no one cared what happened to him and no one would come for him or fight for him when he was hurt or in danger. 

he lived everyday with the fear that it could be his last. tears were an ever present constant in his eyes and there were so many nights when he cried himself to sleep, wishing to not wake up the next morning. 

it was a surprise that he wasn’t assaulted or caught yet. while he ended up killing the alphas that tried to get him during his heat, he knew luck always ran out real quick for him. 

then one day, as he’s going mad with fear of being forcefully mated, he pulls out his mother’s journal to ground himself. it had random titbits of information gulf couldn’t absorb with his anxiety. 

just as he’s closing the book, the title on a page catches his eye. gulf finds a scent blocking herb. 

it seems too good to be true but when he finally applies the juice from the crushed leaves on his scent glands, the alphas slowly stop losing interest in him. the beginning of the rogue attacks also played in his favor back then. 

gulf could guess what he was getting himself into when mew’s father, the head alpha said he had to mate mew. he had mapped out all his options on his first night in this new pack. 

here, gulf can still enforce his will somewhere, somehow to some extent. all he had to do was mate the alpha, give him pups, and stay in the pack.

no matter what, gulf knows his life will be some version of this. and he was currently presented with the best option now. 

here, at least he would only have to deal with one alpha, only mew. 

with the rogues, he’d be passed around like a toy. 

a mated omega is useless to another alpha and with just a day to go for their mating ceremony, gulf is caught up in conflicting emotions. 

the logical part of him that craves safety, demands self-preservation, can’t wait for the mating bite to be placed on his neck. 

at the same time, another part of him dreads the mating night. he won’t be himself and his omega would be in full control, wiping away every rational thought of his. 

he wasn’t ready. for any of it – the mating, the mating night, the knotting, carrying pups. 

gulf wasn’t ready . and it would all still happen so quickly, one after the other and he won’t be able to stop any of it. 

he’s not ready for any of this but he can’t leave either, when this is his only, safest option. 

there’s a deadly storm under his skin and it’s killing him. 

a warm cup of tea is placed before him and gulf blinks himself back to the present moment. mew’s mother pats his shoulder gently as she sits beside him, looking over the multiple mating robes laid on the table before them.

this morning, gulf was jolted awake up to persistent knocking on the front door. 

“it’s alright,” mew’s rough, sleep thick voice had managed to calm him down a little. they were tangled together and the alpha’s hand had run down his back, pressing, big and warm.

that was the first time gulf saw mew this early in the morning and he couldn’t believe how handsome the alpha looked, hair soft and puffed up, his usually pale face, a little sleep pink. when he met the alpha's gaze, it was so heavy on him, gulf's stomach curled in need. his heart was beating so loud, he was sure mew could hear it.

“who the fuck is it, this early…” mew had muttered, a little annoyed and got off the bed. 

gulf had sat up, adjusting his clothes, still a little anxious. that was the first time they were woken up that early and a glance at the window told him it was way before sunrise. 

it was just mew’s mother and a couple of other omegas who came for gulf. it reminded him of the day of the announcement. 

sure enough, they’re making final preparations for tomorrow. and gulf couldn’t avoid it anymore. 

mew had left after taking a quick bath and making a show of scenting gulf. 

saint and new had also joined them sometime later and were in discussion about the decorations. gulf zoned out whenever he could but now, they had to decide his robe for tomorrow.

“is there anything you like? we got them all made just for you,” mew’s mother asks and honestly, gulf is unable to choose. they were all so beautiful, with beads and gems woven into the fabric that he felt undeserving of them.

picking up the tea to stall his answer, he takes a sip and is surprised by its pleasant, addicting taste. 

he gulps it down in one go. 

“i haven’t seen anyone gulp down the fertility tea that quickly! does nong want to impress his alpha?” an omega giggles, as she passes by him. 

“what?” gulf asks, stomach sinking as he turns to look at mew’s mother. fertility tea? 

“yes, it is. not that you might need it. this is just a sweet little tradition we have, every omega drinks this tea before their mating.” she smiles at him, and gulf can’t bring himself to say anything. 

another cup is placed before him and gulf just stares at it for a moment before drinking it too. 

what was the point of resisting anyway? he already drank the first cup so the damage must be already done. 

saint stops an omega from placing another cup for gulf, face hard. “that’s enough.”

gulf looks at the older omega, not expecting him to pay attention to any of this. 

the two of them haven’t spoken yet except for basic greetings. with a family as big as mew’s it was rare for all of them to meet at the same time, unless the entire family was required to be present. 

he had a feeling saint didn’t like him for some reason. 

“gulf,” the head omega calls and gulf turns towards her, pulling his attention back. “have a look at them, dear.”

as he hesitantly goes through the various options, he finds them all too lavish and grand. still, he knows he has to pick one from this and honestly, he doesn’t have the guts to be picky about this.

nearly at the bottom of the pile, gulf stops. he pulls it out and hands it over to the head omega.

“i’ll have this, please.” 

it’s the most simple robe. the fabric is soft and smooth, long enough to cover him to his feet in the front and has a trail at the back. it has a deep v neck that goes past his chest, the robe cinches at the waist and is full sleeved. 

the best detail being its color - red . 

gulf doesn’t know what meanings colors hold in mew’s pack but in his previous pack, red was danger, a warning. he’s actually a little surprised to see a red robe in the whole lot, even if it was only one. 

he wants mew to remember what he was getting himself into the whole time during their mating ceremony. 

gulf promised to show the alpha hell and he will. 

“are you sure? there are some robes here with lovely needle work.” gulf suppresses a satisfied smile at the slight surprise on the head omega’s face. he’s just going to play dumb if anyone asks him to reconsider.

“yes, i’m sure, khun mae.” the way he addresses seems to melt her and she nods, moving on. 

in every little thing, his opinion is taken and mew’s mother tells him to wake up early the next morning as well, to get dressed, saying it would take hours just to get him ready. 

the ceremony is set to start right before sunset and will end as midnight approaches, after they get blessed by the moon. it’s around lunch time that the omegas leave, telling him to rest up for tomorrow.

mew’s mother suggests that he should go to the alpha and call him for a small family lunch. gulf agrees and follows her out of the door when he spots saint at the bottom of the stairs.

when the head omega is out of hearing range, saint turns to face gulf, serious. 

“have you been with an alpha before?” he asks, surprising gulf. 

“what?” gulf’s not sure what he should say. while his lack of experience would definitely come in his favor, he doesn't know what the older omega wants to hear.

“yes or no?” saint asks, straight to the point. 

“no.” gulf answers honestly. 

saint sighs, eyes leaving him and looking away. 

“think of this as an older omega giving you advice,” saint starts. “sometime today and before the ceremony tomorrow, find time to stretch yourself.”

the older omega’s start had gulf listening attentively but his face heats up as he realizes the direction of this conversation. 

“what? why?” gulf ends up squeaking, unable to meet the omega’s eyes. 

he doesn’t like feeling this shy and embarrassed, with an omega especially but he never had anyone to talk about these things and it’s all so new to him. 

“you won’t be in pain, then. once the mating starts, alphas don’t hold back. so if you don’t want to get hurt, stretch yourself as much as you can.” the seriousness in saint’s voice fades away some of his embarrassment and gulf realizes he’s right. 

the last thing he needs is more physical pain in the midst of all this mess. 

“okay, phi. thank you.” saint’s eyes look like he has a lot to say but gulf knows he won’t be hearing any of it any time soon. 

“mew had to be the one to find you, out of all the wolves in this pack.” clicking his tongue, saint gives him a once over and something bitter flashes on his face but before gulf can ask what he means by that, he’s walking away. 

gulf keeps thinking about what the older omega said on the way to the pack house.

when he steps into the doorway, the people inside stop to greet him, curious eyes never leaving him.

how the hell was he to find mew now? 

just then, as if mew heard him, walks out of one of the closed rooms and immediately spots him.

“gulf,” mew comes to him, looking like he wasn’t expecting to see gulf here. 

he doesn’t seem like a fan of their audience either because he leads gulf with a hand on his back, into a room past a door with mew’s name on it.

the moment the door closes, mew’s arm slides down to his waist. 

“what are you doing here?” some impatience bleeds into mew’s tone.

“your mother wants us to have a family lunch.” gulf relays the message and mew sighs, letting go of him. he goes to the desk at the other side of the room and leans back against it, facing gulf.

gulf is hyper aware of the distance between them while the alpha looks completely unaffected. in fact, he put the space between them. for some reason, gulf hates that even more. 

it’s been hours since mew scented him. and what, now that no one is present, mew won’t even stand beside him? was gulf the only one stupidly affected by the alpha?

“mae sent you here for this?” when mew rolls his eyes, gulf’s irritation spikes. 

“why? would you rather have someone else come and tell you?” gulf’s tone is biting and he doesn’t care. it angers him that he’s the only one who wanted this stupid alpha’s touch. 

mew’s face quickly falls back to its hard mask, eyes draining of civility. 

“what’s your problem now?” tilting his head in question, mew crosses his arms across his chest.

“you’re my goddamn problem!” gulf hisses, brows drawn together. he doesn't know why he's suddenly pissed but he just feels so bad. “all the fucking time. that’s all you ever are. god, i hate you!”

the change in mew’s face was enough of an indication for gulf to know he lashed out unnecessarily. 

and he shouldn’t have. 

“i’m leaving.” gulf doesn’t even hear mew move but as he’s about to reach for the door handle, a tight grip on his arm pulls him back and his back slams against the wall beside the door. 

“i told you not to be like this,” mew growls, fingers digging into gulf’s face, holding him in place. scared, gulf’s heart thumps madly. every time this happens, gulf is a little scared that this time, mew will cross the line. he never does.

maybe if gulf goes on like this, mew actually might hurt him one day.

but this is all that gulf knows — expressing his hurt through anger. he’s so incredibly lonely and the alpha is the only one who knows the most about him. 

gulf can’t help but want to be around the alpha as he provides a sense of familiarity. in this big pack, he only knows mew. 

“let go of me, asshole!” gulf fights against mew’s grip but he can barely budge no matter how hard he pushes the alpha's chest.

“shut up,” mew’s free hand holds both of his wrists immobile, over his head. to gulf’s disbelief, his body likes being this close to the alpha. “now tell me what’s up with this attitude.”

“who were you expecting?” gulf asks what he really wants to. mew blinks at him, then raises a brow as if asking to elaborate. “you weren’t too happy to see me here. were you waiting for some other omega?” 

mew stays quiet while studying his face for a moment. 

“so this what jealousy looks like on you.” mew’s dark eyes are intense and roam every inch of his face, unblinking like he doesn’t want to miss anything. the fury from earlier melts into something gulf can’t place. 

“hardly,” gulf scoffs. he wasn’t jealous. he was fucking mad at himself for wanting this alpha who didn’t want him the same way. “you wouldn’t want to see me jealous.”

when mew’s lips slightly rise at the corners, as the beginnings of an arrogant smile, gulf decides he’ll really show mew his jealousy.

“how many omegas have you slept with?” gulf asks the question that has been plaguing his mind since he was told they will be mated. he prepares himself for the worst. 

mew was the head alpha’s son, gulf won’t be surprised if he fucked every omega of this pack, no matter how crazy it will drive him.

“not even one.” mew reveals after a moment of silence. 

“do you think i’m stupid to believe that-” obviously, gulf’s not going to believe shitty lies like that. 

“you know why?” mew asks, interrupting him. and gulf sees something new in the alpha’s eyes. “because i hate omegas. they’re so fucking weak. that’s why i always fucked betas. my first wolf after presenting was a beta because i can’t fucking stand how weak omegas are.”

gulf opens his mouth but is unable to say anything.

what?

that can’t be. 

there's no way an alpha can resist omegas. and even during his rut? it was impossible.

“how… how can you not want omegas?” gulf’s voice comes out low, as he intensely searches mew’s face for a sign that he’s lying. he doesn’t find any. 

“oh, i do. so much.” mew breathes out, looking like he’s in pain and swallows heavily. when his eyes slide down to gulf’s lips, his next inhale is shaky. “but i hate them more.”

somehow, it all made sense. 

the way mew’s eyes kept searching for every little weakness of his all this time, the rough way mew handled him like he doesn’t know how to handle softness, the head alpha’s insistence on their mating, the pack omegas avoiding mew, giving gulf looks of – pity and concern .

because everyone except him knew this – gulf would be mew’s first omega. 

it was perfect, that gulf wasn’t from the same pack and didn’t have a damn clue.

and no one can guess how this will turn out to be. 

gulf ended up as the sacrificial lamb all over again.

“you are too — weak, just like them. but you know why i wanted to have you?” mew continues, with wonder in his eyes and gulf tries to stop thinking and listen to this strange confession. “why i didn't let you go?”

gulf remains silent, doesn’t want to possibly trigger the alpha even more so he swallows down the anger he feels at how unfair everyone was to him. 

mew is going to be so unpredictable because everything with gulf will be new to him. gulf really doesn’t think the situation could get worse than this. 

he doesn’t dare to wonder how their mating will happen.

“you know you’re weak but still, the fire in your eyes is something i can’t let go of. i want to see what you’re capable of.” the alpha speaks like he’s lost his mind. “i remember the first time i looked into your eyes – you wanted to kill me so bad, i could tell. and no omega has ever looked at me like that.” 

gulf’s having difficulty moving his tongue in his mouth to say something back. whatever the alpha said makes him feel things he can’t explain. 

out of all, he can’t stand it when his suffering is taken as a joke. 

“how did you ever think i’ll let someone like you go just like that?” mew’s scent suddenly drenches gulf like a rain cloud and he gasps, losing all the strength to fight. 

it’s like a mild shock, suddenly jolting up the omega in him. 

not this, please. 

gulf has only seen alphas try to overpower omegas with their scent once or twice. he didn’t ever think it would happen to him, not like this and definitely didn’t know it would feel this good. 

he doesn’t know if he wants to kill the alpha or kiss him.

“see, see !” there’s glee in mew’s big eyes, a wide smile on his lips and as out of it as he looks, he looks breathtaking. hair brushed away from his forehead has started to fall into his eyes, his eyes that look like they could eat gulf alive, light pink lips stretched to reveal teeth that gulf wants sinking into his neck, the grip on his wrists tightening as mew presses closer, their noses bumping into each other.

gulf wants the alpha so bad.  

the pheromones make everything hazy and gulf is slumped against the wall, knees shaking and every single place mew touches, burns good . 

“this is what i’m talking about! your body has gone all pliant and weak. but your eyes , omega.” if mew wasn’t entirely pressed against his body, gulf would have definitely kneed him. 

“and your scent,” gulf tries turning his face away as the alpha leans closer and mew finally lets go. blood rushes back to the parts of his face held by the alpha in hot pulses. it hurts but his omega has started to emerge. it doesn’t care. “always calling and responding to me.”

for gulf's omega, every hit will feel like a kiss.

“you’re fucking crazy, you sick fuck.” gulf pants, coming to a shameful realization that he’s turned on. mew dips his head and laughs against his throat, lips dragging and sticking to skin. 

gulf can’t hear a damn thing with the sound of blood rushing in his ears. the alpha releases his hands and gulf finds them on the back of the alpha’s neck and in his hair, pulling him closer. 

while mew’s lips move hungrily on his neck, big hands shamelessly slide down to his ass, fingers pressing into the softness and pulling gulf closer. this time, gulf is unable to control the moan that slips out of him. 

mew pulls away to finally kiss him and their lips crash, desperately moving together. it feels soft and hot and gulf can’t get enough. mew sets a pace that is hard to follow, sucking at his lips and pressing his teeth down on them. 

mew’s hand trails up and slips under his shirt and the way mew’s forearm nearly spans his entire back has gulf gasping for air, breaking the kiss. 

without meaning to, before he can stop himself, gulf is bearing his neck. mew latches into a spot right below his ear and gulf can’t hold back the moan again. 

he wants a bite. 

he wants mew's bite on his neck.

and it scares him. he’s not even in heat but he still wants it. 

entirely terrifies him to know a part of him wants this so bad, bad enough to override his own control. how much longer until it completely takes over?

their scents mingle together, forming perfection, something brand new and just fitting . 

it works like an aphrodisiac, makes gulf relax, grip tightening on the strong shoulders he’s entirely leaning on at this point.

more than anything, gulf loves how small he feels in the alpha’s hold. 

the door to the room suddenly bursts open. 

“phi, about the raid– oh heck!” bright barges in and turns away with a curse. gulf nearly jumps a foot in the air, clutching to mew in alarm. “sorry! sorry, i didn’t know p’gulf was here.”

“for fuck’s sake, can’t you knock?” mew growls, hiding gulf entirely with his body. he pulled away from gulf’s neck, looking and sounding equally pissed for being interrupted. “get out, why are you still here?”

really, with how the room is filled with their aroused scents, gulf’s embarrassment is so severe, he pushes the alpha away and puts some distance between them. 

mew throws a displeased look at him and pulls him back close so that gulf is pressed to his side. 

gulf slowly comes back to himself and can’t deny what they did. he can still feel mew’s fingers on his arms and face, on the curve of his spine and tight, desperate on his waist, grabbing his ass. 

and he had just let it happen.

even when he was so angry just moments ago.

would let it happen too, all over again just to feel those tingles. gulf couldn’t think of anything except mew’s touch and his mind knew peace. 

even if only for a moment.

“i need to talk to you, phi. it’s… umm, it’s important.” bright hesitates, back still facing them. 

“well, i’ll get going then.” gulf says, thinking this is a good idea to escape. 

“no. stay here.” mew takes him along to his table, settles in his chair and pulls gulf into his lap. this alpha knew how to embarrass him at any given chance. “what is it, bright?”

the younger alpha turns around cautiously and perks up when he sees them at the table and greets gulf.

“phi gulf,” bright nods with a wai and a sheepish smile. gulf mirrors him. 

“we’re both the same age.” gulf adds, hinting to drop the formalities. 

“i know, but you’re phi’s mate.” bright grins, like that was enough of an explanation. 

“ so ,” mew loudly interrupts, lips pressed together in an unimpressed line. gulf bets the alpha’s legs would be bouncing in impatience if he wasn’t sitting on them. “there better be a good reason you cockblocked me.”

mew is so casual with his shameless speech, gulf reacts late. he throws a withering look at the alpha with a quickly heating face and mew just shrugs, gaze wandering on his face for a moment, then settling on his lips. the desire is so clear on mew's face, it makes gulf's breath hitch.

for a moment, gulf forgets bright is witnessing all this even though he can spot the younger alpha in his peripherals. 

“right,” bright coughs, a teasing smile on his face and gulf just wants to disappear. he doesn’t even want to know what mew’s brother must be thinking. “it’s about the raid, phi.”

“what about it?” mew looks away and pulls gulf closer by the waist until gulf is leaning on his chest. at this point, gulf feels he will embarrass himself if he struggles anymore so he adjusts himself until he’s comfortable. 

bright walks over to the table and opens the map that was tossed aside. he spreads it out before them and gulf realizes he doesn’t recognize it. 

he tries to look for his previous pack but either it’s not marked here or he really came a long way for it not to be in this pack’s maps.

“is there anyway we can go earlier, phi?” bright asks, hands on his hips as he peers at the map. gulf takes an interest in the conversation, listening attentively. this was the first time a seemingly serious and important pack decision was being discussed in his presence and gulf is all ears. 

“we’re just nine days away, what’s the hurry? that pack should be worried about what they did, you don’t need to.” mew glances up from the map at bright who nods to everything his brother says, shifting his weight from foot to foot and even gulf can tell the younger alpha is agitated.

with a sigh followed by a face rub, mew asks. “what is it, really?”

bright’s purses his lips, thinking for a moment before speaking.

“phi… i think something’s wrong. i went hunting last night and– no. no, i didn’t cross into their border, stop looking at me like that!” bright huffs, lips pouting slightly and gulf feels a little strange watching this exchange. 

even though he met all of mew’s family, gulf hasn’t gotten to know them. he has no idea how the relationships in the alpha’s family are and this is giving a little peek into the other side of the alpha.

“fine, fine. then what?” mew nods at him to continue. 

“i was at our pack border, around the area of the pack… we’ll be raiding soon and i caught the scent of three alphas.” bright pauses and they waits for him to continue. “it was strange. they didn’t smell like they belonged to a pack and… and they came too close to our borders, phi.”

from what gulf remembers, since his previous pack was much smaller, there was never much of a bother about pack borders or intruders. but for the northern pack – a pack as big as this, every little aspect might have to be carefully monitored. 

“you think they’re rogues?” mew asks, leaning forward. 

gulf freezes the moment that word floats to his ears. 

it’s not them, it’s not them! gulf breathes evenly or at least tries to, while convincing himself as an uneasy feeling starts festering inside his chest. it can’t be. after all there were many wolves that roamed free until they found another pack. 

hell, gulf would have been considered a rogue if mew didn't take him in because he ran away from his pack. 

there was no way it could be them .

they couldn’t find him this fast, could they? he made sure not to leave any traces behind. 

it wasn’t fair. how long was he supposed to run?

“i know they’re rogues.” bright leans on the table, and continues, eyes looking a little helpless. “it’s just that… the wolves probably saw how guarded we are and left but if not us, where did they go? there’s no other pack on this side except for ours and… them.”

‘mine,’ gulf’s words die in his throat. ‘there’s my pack too, where i ran away from. a dead pack by now, for sure, but still.’ 

he doesn’t regret leaving his pack behind for one bit, even if his parents would have been disappointed in him for letting their pack die without a fight. those people didn’t deserve it. 

“the opas pack.” mew says in understanding. “that’s probably why they didn’t keep their word.” 

“and phi, this was what? two weeks ago? we haven't heard anything from them since.” gulf’s interest in this turns into smoke immediately, as it hits too close to home. 

the shared glance between the brothers holds the answers. 

rogue attack.

so now what? were they next– was mew’s pack next? 

and what if the rogues still hunt gulf down somehow? 

maybe dying in the hands of the rogues after a life of suffering was all there was in gulf’s fate. 

little pricks of hot and cold slowly spread over his body and there’s bile rising in his throat as he thinks about it. it doesn’t seem like gulf can escape the rogues because they’re there wherever he goes. 

“i–i… i want to go,” gulf stutters for an excuse, as he rips himself away from mew’s firm grip and strangely, the moment he’s standing without the alpha’s hold on him, he feels even vulnerable and sick. 

mew’s hand finds his sweat cold palm and his eyes feel intrusive on gulf’s face. 

won’t mew kick him out now, if he finds out gulf is connected to all this?

“tua-eng,” mew calls and gulf couldn’t have hid the panic from his eyes no matter how desperately he wanted to. “it will just take a moment, then we’ll go for lunch.”

does mew not see how shaken up he is? or is he pretending not to?

“i want to go. please, i–” gulf is moments away from gasping for breath. he can’t do this, not here. he needs to leave. 

“okay,” mew releases him and gulf can’t get out of the room fast enough. by the time he stumbles out of the cabin, tears are streaming down his face uncontrollably. 

he steps into the forest line just beside the pack house, out of sight from the pack and all the strength drains out of him. 

there’s sunlight, warm and bright like everything’s jolly while his life is falling apart in the middle of the day and he’s unable to do anything about it.

gulf’s knees hit the ground as silent sobs fill up his chest painfully. he doubles over, when a fit of cough makes him gag and he’s dry heaving, saliva hanging from his lips in thin strings. 

wiping his mouth roughly, gulf tries to compose himself. the hopelessness is stifling and feels like there’s no air left for gulf to breathe. 

he can’t do this anymore. 

he can’t run anymore. 

and the rogues will get to him.

he’d rather die.

standing up on shaky legs, gulf pats his face dry. he’ll have to make a quick stop at mew’s cabin and make himself look presentable. then he will go for the lunch. 

tonight, he will make a new plan and decide where to go next. 

he’ll run to the end of the earth if he has to, to survive. 

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

“is he alright?” bright throws a look of concern over his shoulder, the direction which the omega disappeared to.

“he will be.” mew says, lost in thought.

“you really like him,” bright’s comment grabs mew’s attention. the distress in the omega’s scent though, has him on the edge of his seat, wanting to follow him out and demand answers from gulf.

what did gulf fear this much?

this was the second time mew saw gulf this shaken up and he's starting to get an idea why. the alphas he sent to track the omega down are yet to return and mew can't wait to hear what they've found. gulf was full of secrets and mew wanted it to find them all on his own before he confronted the omega. 

“what?” mew controls himself to keep the incredulous look off his face. and here his brother was, as clueless as the entire pack.

“p’gulf. no wonder you wanted to get mated suddenly.” bright looks impressed and mew wonders if it’s really that easy to fool people into believing something is real when is it anything but that. “you look at each other like… like you can’t stand the distance between you two.”

hate and lust when combined can look quite intense and seductive - that’s probably what everyone sees. 

“we were talking about the opas pack.” mew reminds him, pushing the omega’s matter to the back of his mind for now. he didn’t like that someone came too close to his pack territory. while all rogue wolves weren’t trouble, some of them were unpredictable.

“we need to go sooner, phi. we need to check if they’re okay. what if—” the look on mew’s face makes bright stop. “what?”

“why do you care?” mew inquires. this was new. he didn’t expect bright’s interest in this. his brother can’t fool him into believing that he wasn’t interested in that pack. 

mew wonders why bright even wants to go on this raid when he never bothered to be interested in raids before.

“a pack needs help, phi. aren’t they our… friends?” bright tries to play it off cool. mew stops himself from scoffing. sure, his brother was very nice compared to him but not this nice.

“they’re not our goddamn friends, bright.” even though his brother avoids his gaze, mew waits patiently. 

“i… there’s– there’s an omega.” bright confesses and mew perks up. he was expecting anything but that. “i like him. he’s the pack head alpha’s son. i wanted to be in this raid so that i could see him and… maybe talk to him.” 

mew would have teased the hell out of bright on some other occasion but he’s never seen his brother this serious about an omega. and given the situation, he’s not sure how the wolves of this pack are doing anyway.

“fine, we’ll send out some of our wolves first to—”

“i’ll go with them.”

“absolutely not.” mew objects. “i can’t let you go by yourself, not without me.”

“phi, your mating is tomorrow!” bright says incredulously. “you can’t go anywhere and it will take a few days for the mating to complete. i can’t wait that long, phi.”

“you don’t understand, bright. this is dangerous.” mew tries to reason. 

“i’ll take the fighters with me. you know i can manage, phi. please, let me go.” mew can already tell that even if he disagrees, bright will find one or the other way to sneak away to that pack. 

might as well execute this properly and send a good back up with his brother.

“alright, but i’m coming for you if you’re not back in four days.” mew declares.

“phiiiiii, it takes two days to get there, how can i be back so soon?” bright whines, and mew smiles at his reaction. 

“you should be happy i’m even letting you go without me. just check what’s up with the pack and don’t get involved in anything unnecessary. i’ll join you as soon as possible.” mew’s smile widens at the petulant look on his brother’s face.

“fine. i’m leaving tonight, i’ll tell phor about it and prepare the team.” bright throws a lazy wave at him, turning to leave. 

as mew watches him go, he feels the need to remind him. 

“bright,” mew calls and his brother who just disappeared out of the door pokes his head back in. “protect yourself well. and call for me if you need me. phi will come to you right away.”

bright nods with a little smile, eyes softening. “of course, phi. i will.”

"now find your omega and bring him home." mew teases a little and bright's bashful smile makes it worth it.

"of course, i will, phi!"

mew slumps in his chair once the door closes, smile fading. 

generally, he wouldn’t mind sending any of his brothers for their own dealings. they were all equally well trained and a challenge for anyone. but this time, he would be in the middle of his mating and won’t be available for help even if required. 

the mating is just a day away and it’s very necessary for him to mate if he’s to be recognized as the next head alpha. 

mew can’t act on anything without his power and right now, the omega was the only one who could grant him that power. 

mew gets up and follows the fading scent of his distressed omega.

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

gulf is alone at the table. 

the dining hall was crowded and gulf was relieved to see that the head alpha and omega’s table was full with the rest of the family. 

from what he has seen so far, mew’s family always had the same three or four tables reserved and gulf had immediately taken a seat at the remaining empty table after greeting everyone. 

“phi, here you go.” bright placed a full plate in front of gulf and he blinks himself out of his daze. 

“oh, thank you. you didn’t have to.” gulf manages a smile. 

“p’mew is on his way, should i keep you company until then?” the younger alpha offers sweetly but gulf declines.

“it’s alright. i was just waiting for your brother. i’ll be fine.” gulf assures him, and thankfully bright nods with a smile and goes to the other table where his little sister immediately wiggles into his lap when he takes a seat.

gulf plays with his food to have something to do. 

the rogues were on his mind since he left mew’s cabin and the building panic is making it hard for him to breathe.

gulf is so lost in his dark thoughts, he notices it a little too late when an elder stops at his table. 

“from what i heard, you two like each other, don’t you?” he looked down his nose at gulf. “hmm. doesn’t look like it.”

the old man was gone before gulf could even open his mouth and he doesn't know what to do. what did the elder mean? was it because mew wasn’t here with him?

someone else comes to him with the same skeptical look. then another one. another one. 

another one. 

another one. 

until gulf’s hand shook when the questions started entering a dangerous territory. it felt like they were bashing him for no reason, because they caught him alone and gulf felt stupid when he couldn’t even respond. 

he had a feeling this would turn ugly real fast. 

and it did.

“are you really mating?”

“you don’t look like a couple who’re about to mate.”

“there are other omegas in the pack for n’mew. someone else can take you.”

“hmm… you’re barely marked. looks like your neck is up for claims.”

gulf could barely swallow the little bite of food he had shoved in his mouth. for the first time, gulf was scared mew would let him go. 

just then, mew takes a seat beside him, placing his plate on the table. 

“what was that?” mew nods over his shoulder at the retreating figures going back to their tables. “what did they say?”

gulf kept his mouth shut. from what the elders were saying, he was up for claims and any alpha could take him. his eyes hold tears that he’s so afraid to let go of because if he starts crying again, he doesn’t know when he’ll stop.  

if mew abandons him, an alpha will be on his neck before he even takes a step towards the pack border.

“phi,” zee and bright pull out chairs across the table and gulf can sense how tense the atmosphere has become. “those elders… they were rude to gulf.”

“not rude,” bright insists, slapping a hand on the table. “they were harassing him, phi. i just heard what that elder said.”

“what?” mew demands, turning to face gulf. he’s yet to lift his face but he doesn't want all of them to see the despair and shame on his face. “is that true, gulf? what did they say?”

“that one over there,” zee reveals this time. “he said it looked like nong’s neck is up for claims.”

gulf doesn’t know what’s happening, his ears feel like they’re underwater, unable to hear anything except his panicked heartbeat and a repeat of all the things the elders said. 

mew’s scent explodes and his rage is so obvious, a shiver runs down gulf’s spine. the nearby tables fall silent and gulf hears a few fearful whimpers. 

with his free hand, gulf reaches for mew’s leg under the table and fists his pants, trying to control his tears. 

he doesn’t know what mew will think of this. 

what will he even say to the alpha? how can he convey to the alpha that if he gets passed on like a piece of meat, he would break apart?

gulf wants to tell mew everything – about the fear clogging his throat, the tears burning his eyes and how he dreads this feeling, how tired, how unstable everything feels, how he’s losing the will to live. 

but most of all, how can he ask mew to keep him?

when gulf finally takes in a trembling breath and meets mew’s burning gaze, his vision is so blurry with the pooling tears, he can’t even tell if the alpha is looking at him. 

then someone else stops at their table. 

again.

“you know, there are other alphas who can take him, i would love to—” it was an alpha. a young man whose words nearly tore a whimper out of gulf’s throat. 

if gulf had paid attention to mew, if he had seen the way the alpha had been tensing up since he first caught gulf’s distressed scent, gulf wouldn’t be surprised by the alpha’s outburst.

but gulf was distracted at that exact moment. 

because mew had gripped his wrist so gently, softly that gulf blinked to clear his vision and strings of tears slipped down his cheeks right in time to see mew lightly remove his death grip from his leg and get up from his seat.

the panic that rose within gulf in that split second was unexplainable. 

then gulf sees the stranger’s head banging against their table and he flinches so hard at the way everything clatters on the wooden surface.

“talk another word about my omega and see what i’ll do,” mew snarls, voice no different from the sound of rumbling clouds. the look on his face was the deadliest gulf has ever seen as he pressed down on the young man’s head. 

even mew’s brothers flinch slightly at the sudden movement as the entire hall falls dead silent. the man’s head has started to bleed and gulf sees the red trail towards an edge of the table but he still doesn’t shut up.

“you haven’t heard what the others said. he doesn’t even look like he has an alpha. i’d have bred him by now.” the injured alpha says, a crazed look in his eyes. 

“shut the fuck up!” mew pulls the alpha to his feet and gulf can see how young he is. perhaps just a year or two older than gulf. “i’m going to fucking kill you.” 

mew doesn’t wait for anyone and drags the alpha outside. the people in the dining hall follow the alphas in a rush and gulf stands up on shaky legs, unable to believe all that unfolded.

“phor, permission to intervene. i know it won’t be necessary.” zee asks, and bright waits for their father’s answer, faces sharp and blank, ready to be a backup for their brother if necessary. because once mew started his hunt, it was difficult to pull him out of it.

“granted,” the head alpha sighs, and motions for the head omega to resume eating. after throwing a casual look around the emptying dining hall, she continues with her lunch too.

zee walks out and saint follows him like it’s a regular, evening stroll. bright is on their heels.

“wait– won’t you… won’t you stop him?” gulf asks nobody in particular, feeling disoriented. he hears the growls of shifted wolves and he expected someone to stop mew. 

stop him from killing someone. 

“it’s that dumb kid’s fault, talking to mew like that about you.” the head alpha shakes his head as if he’s simply disappointed over bad weather. 

“you don’t have to worry about something like that happening again, dear.” the head omega gives him a sad smile and gets back to her food.

gulf looks at the remaining omega at the table. 

new gives him a hesitant smile, looking totally unfazed.

a little lightheaded, gulf walks out of the dining hall to see a huge, black wolf with a mangled neck of a dead, smaller gray wolf between its bloody fangs. 

many from the pack have formed a circle to watch the fight that ended within minutes. it didn’t even last as long as it took for gulf to stumble outside the dining hall.

mew killed him in minutes. 

zee hands him mew’s clothes. gulf clutches them to his chest, heart uncontrollable in his ribcage.

gulf doesn’t have to know how mew’s wolf looks like for him to know that the black wolf making its way towards him while dragging its kill is none other than mew.

the alpha’s scent is overpowering as he drops the dead wolf at gulf’s feet. but he can’t look away from the alpha as the wolf, as tall as him, nuzzles into his neck, smears something wet and cold, circles him once before he starts shifting. 

mew’s hair is ruffled and messy as he takes his pants from gulf’s hold. gulf is grateful that he has something to hold or else he would have lost himself in the alpha’s eyes. 

he can’t look away, because then he will see the blood on mew’s teeth, all over his chin and trailing down his neck.

mew turns to address the crowd. 

“if anybody else has anything to say about my omega, they’re welcome to be my next kill.” mew’s voice, dead calm, breaks gulf out of his spell. 

the alpha killed a wolf.

mew just killed a wolf.

the alpha spits out the blood in his mouth and instructs a few young alphas.

“skin him. i want his fur.” after giving verbal affirmations and nods, when the boys begin to drag the dead wolf away, mew cups his face, thumb tracing the drying tear tracks. “gray will look beautiful on my omega.” 

the smeared blood on gulf’s neck has mostly dried, feeling a little itchy.

as if nothing happened, they resume lunch after mew washes his face. the dining hall is far emptier now, all cautious and talking in low voices. this time, as bright and zee join them and talk about the raid and the rogues, gulf feels something different. 

mew is stuck to his side even as he discusses with his brothers, a heavy, protective arm anchored around gulf’s shoulder that strays into his hair once in a while. 

the alpha feeds himself then gulf, and gulf doesn’t complain for once, needs the support even.

“why?” gulf asks, voice barely over a whisper. it’s the first thing he asks as night settles down. after lunch, mew walked him home and left to ‘take care of some things.’ 

gulf can guess what– or who they are.

after having dinner at mew’s cabin itself, gulf was already in bed, fresh from a bath by the time mew came back from his. the alpha stands near the foot of the bed, drying his wet hair with a towel. 

he regards gulf quietly, taking in all of him, though there is nothing to see but his face with how gulf sits with his knees to his chest, sheets pulled up to his chin. 

“why?” mew’s repeats gulf’s question and his sigh that follows is almost inaudible as he drapes the damp towel on the back of a wooden desk chair.

“do you know how you looked at me?” the alpha asks, sliding under the cover and sits facing gulf.

“t-that’s why?” mew’s cold hand sliding up his foot and wrapping around his ankle has gulf stuttering. the alpha tugs and gulf’s tight, defensive position comes undone in a second. 

mew got so comfortable with touch so fast, gulf wonders if the only reason he didn’t touch him until now was because gulf didn’t let him.

but now he lets him. 

and the alpha’s touch provides him comfort he didn’t know he needed. a warm hand cups the side of his neck and gulf resists closing his eyes.

“why else?” mew asks, thumb making little circles on his neck as if he’s trying to wipe the nonexistent blood off. “those elders… fucking – you won’t see them again.” 

“but why kill?” 

“if i don’t get rid of filth like this, then they will only lurk and come back again. i don’t have the patience to deal with them twice.” mew answers, then adds. “and i’ll fucking lose it if anyone comes for my omega.” 

"anyone?" gulf questions just to be sure. 

"anyone, anything." mew's lips promise against his and gulf feels warmth as the alpha's hand on his ankle disappears and slips under his shirt, sliding across his stomach. 

gulf can finally name what he’s been feeling all along. 

hope. 

hope that the alpha will protect him if the rogues show up.

but that will only happen if gulf becomes his omega. especially since mew said, ‘ if anyone comes for my omega.’

so for the second time, gulf decides to stay and accepts the fact that whatever happens tomorrow will change his entire life. 

he has no hopes for love. 

they have no hope for love.

when they hate each other’s wolves this bad, they’re bound to do terrible things to each other.