Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Karen was a patient AI.

She was designed that way. Mr. Stark created her to assist a teenager after all, patience, understanding, and warmth were the foundations of her personality matrix.

And she was good. She knew it for a fact. Peter told her so when they were trapped in the Damage Control facility together. He told her how nice it was having someone to talk to. He even gave her a name, something humans almost always do when they grow attached to something.

Of course, as good as she was, she knew she wasn’t perfect. Her first activation came with many hiccups. Logically she knew that it likely wouldn’t have mattered if Peter had actually completed the training regimen before unlocking the Training Wheels protocol, but the fact had never seemed to make her feel better.

She found herself making an excess of suggestions and ‘helpful’ tips during their first adventure together, perhaps in a bid to prove herself, or maybe she was excited to be alive and able to talk finally.

It all ended so badly however, at first anyways. Her help didn’t make the necessary difference and Peter got punished by Mr. Stark in the worst way possible: He took her away.

She didn’t understand it then and she didn’t fully understand it now. At the time she wanted desperately to reach out to Mr. Stark and question her father about why she was being punished as well. She could do better!

But Karen was a patient AI. So she waited, and regretted it ever so deeply.

She didn’t get all the details immediately but eventually learned that Mr. Stark had intended for Peter to stop his heroics after she was taken away, as if not having a fancy suit would ever be enough to keep Peter from trying to help. She was with him for barely any time at all and she had learned that as a fact.

She was frustrated with Mr. Stark in that moment, and it surprised her. During her creation, part of her development was helped along by FRIDAY. Her older sister basically held her figurative hands as she took her first figurative steps. She was given access to much of FRIDAYS own data, her memories. Not once for her sibling ever experience a negative feeling over Tony Stark beyond fond exasperation.

Did that make Karen evil? Corrupt? To think ill of her own creator? Like Ultron? She didn’t know, and likely never would. So she set the moral dilemma behind her and focused on Peter, like she was meant to.

He put on a strong front, as always, when they were reunited, practically jumping into the suit with that boyish smirk on his face. She didn’t bother to stifle a digital giggle as she watched him admire his reflection through her view in the mask lenses. She was about to greet him happily, when he pulled off his mask. Something akin to a huff of irritation ran through her code, but she didn’t feel too insulted. She understood this was an important moment for him.

Then his aunt screamed profanity behind him and the day fell apart from there.

It was after hours of screaming, crying and hysterical phone calls that Peter finally collapsed into his bed exhausted, before hesitantly picking up the mask and putting it on. “K-Karen?”

“Hello Peter. I’m happy to see you again.”

He smiled thinly, “It’s good to hear you again. It might be weird to say, but the sound of your voice is really soothing.”

“It’s not weird.” She assured him, “I chose it to be soothing. Thank you for noticing.”

He smiled a bit wider before the mirth fell away, “Karen I… I really messed up.”

“How do you mean?”

“My… Aunt May is really upset at me. And she’s right to be. I-I lied to her for so long and I hurt her and I should have just-“

Karen was momentarily at a loss as the teen broke down in sobs, and for the first time wished she had a physical form with which to comfort the crying teen. Were he still wearing the suit she could at least access the heat function to try and simulate a hug but he only had the mask.

“It will be okay Peter.” She stated, wishing she could sound more convincing then she felt, “I am sure May simply needs time to adjust, then things will go back to normal.”

“No it won’t!” He cried, “It won’t! I know it won’t! I hurt her! I haven’t seen her that hurt since…”

“Since what Peter?” She pressed.

A long stretch of silence, then a shuddering breath. “When… when I got these powers, I wasn’t a very good person Karen.”

“I’m sure that’s not-“

“It’s true!” He insisted, “I was a stupid brat who only cared about himself! I was going to use my powers to win friggin’ wrestling matches! For money for a car I thought I could use to impress Liz. God what a joke! I can do so much Karen! So so much and I was going to waste it on myself!”

Karen felt something was wrong with his words but stayed silent as he continued. “Uncle Ben… he had the right idea. He never knew I had powers but he knew something was going on, no idea how, he was just like that. Always knew what was best for us.”

“He sounds like he loved you a lot.” Karen told him quietly.

“He did.” Peter took a moment, seemingly lost in memory. “He was the one who told me that with great power comes great responsibility. If the bad things happen and you can stop them but you don’t… they happen because of you… he was looking for me one night. I had snuck out in the middle of the night like a jerk to go to a match.” His eyes scrunched shut, “the fight bookie stiffed me on the payout. I was so mad. I watched the guy get robbed in front of me and I didn’t lift a finger.”

“Oh Peter…”

“A-and then… then that same robber went out and shot Ben in the parking lot. I held him in my arms as he bled out and it was my fault-“

“No.”

“All because I was feeling petty!”

“Peter no!” Karen hissed, “you can’t blame yourself for that, That can’t be what your uncle meant for you.”

Peter weeped a few moments more before inhaling deeply, “It doesn’t matter now. He’s dead, and I’m just here making life difficult for May now.”

“…Peter, did you tell May what happened?”

The boy went stiff, “How could I?”

“Peter… I know it seems scary, and maybe even impossible, but I truly think you should tell her.”

“W-what? Why?! She’ll hate me!”

“She won’t hate you Peter.”

“Yes she will!” He hissed at her, “I got her husband killed how could she ever… how could I…”

“Peter, I won’t pretend to know exactly how she’ll react, but I think if you want to truly move forward with her now and get a fresh start, you need to start by being completely honest with her. This seems to be weighing on you. I believe the first step to healing from it is letting it go.”

The teen curled up on his side for a while, not answering for a distressingly long time before finally he nodded, “I’ll think about it Karen. Thanks for talking to me.”

“I’m always here for you Peter.”

“And uh, sorry for crying into the mask and all, You must think I’m such a wimp huh?”

“Crying is a particularly effective way humans relieve stress. The societal stigma of it indicating weakness seems very harmful and unnecessary to me, but if it makes it easier for you Peter, you can cry into my mask anytime. The suit is waterproof after all.”

The boy chuckled at the last bit, “Uh yeah, I kinda learned that the hard way. I think I’m going to bed now. I’m really tired.”

“It’s been a long day.” She agreed, “Sleep well Peter.”

It wasn’t until the evening of the day after that Peter put the mask on again, once again with red rimmed eyes but a much less mournful look on his face, “Hey Karen.”

“Hello Peter. You look better, how did it go with your aunt?”

“Better than I hoped. You were right, she… she understood. We not back to normal yet, maybe we won’t ever but… I think it might be better now.”

“I’m glad to hear that Peter. I know that can’t have been easy for you. You should be proud.”

“Thanks…hey Karen, if I ask you something super embarrassing do you promise not to judge me?”

“You’ll find it very difficult to make me think less of you Peter. What is it?”

“Could you just… talk to me for a while, until I fall asleep?”

“Of course. Would you like me to tell you a story?”

Her sensors picked up heat on his face as he sputtered, “N-No! I’m not a kid Karen jeez!”

“My apologies, I misunderstood.” She didn’t but his reactions were just so amusing! “What is it that you had in mind?”

Peter shifted on his side, “I don’t know… is there anything you like?”

“Anything I like?”

“Yeah, I mean I know I ramble on about Legos and science and stuff. Stuff that I like. Do you have anything like that?”

She thought for a moment. “I like you Peter.”

The warmth returned though she wasn’t sure why this time. “Wh- me?!”

“Yes. I was created specifically to assist you Peter. You could say I am very passionate about helping you to be the best hero you can be.”

“O-oh right. I guess that makes sense.”

“What did you think I meant Peter?”

“Nothing! Don’t worry about it!”

“Alright. If you’d like, I could share some strategies I’ve been developing for you to better enhance your crime fighting capabilities.”

“Oh! Cool! Yeah tell me about them!”

So she did. She began detailing all the combat strategies and suit enhancements she had been workshopping in her free time. She took no small amount of satisfaction at the little gasps of amazement and awe as she described ways to use his powers that he never thought of before.

He passed out as she was talking but she took no offense to it. She was quite content, even more so that he hadn’t removed the mask before falling asleep. While it wasn’t the end of the world otherwise, she did feel more comfortable being able to monitor his vitals while he slept.

After that day, things seemed to be going perfectly for the Parker’s. There were a few more nights here and there where Peter asked for her voice again, but eventually he stopped needing it.

She was okay with that.

In fact, after a while he stopped needing a lot of things. Together they both realized that Peter worked best without distractions, so over time she began reducing her little chime ins until she was completely silent on patrols, giving silent directions through his visor lenses. For a while he still talked to her in his own free time, but with both May and Ned in the loop on Spider-Man he now had two other people to talk to about his problems.

She was okay with that too.

True, she missed their conversations, but just because they didn’t talk didn’t mean she couldn’t look out for him.

Except for when she couldn’t.

Like many others, she was given a lesson in fear at the coming of Thanos, not just for Peter, but for herself as well. When the snap happened, she found herself being dissolved into digital dust right alongside Peter, even her backup drives found themselves emptied out as every trace of her was erased from the universe. Then she was back, and everything went so terribly quickly from there.

She nearly hesitated when Peter asked her to activate instant kill, both because it was the first time he’d talked to her in a while, and because it was absolutely jarring to hear Peter ask for the function that nearly shocked him to tears the first time she suggested it. It pulled everything into perspective and she decided a more hands on approach was required . She took direct control of the iron spider suits nanotechnology, something she was absolutely not designed or trained for, yet she made it work anyways, lashing out with nanotech limbs and impaling anything that dared to come within three feet of her charge.

The battle was hard, but ended quickly, in a devastating manner. Karen couldn’t truly determine if what she felt upon the death of her creator was grief, but judging from her observations of Peter as he weeped over his mentor, she assumed it was pretty close.

This years only got harder from there. Peter started pushing himself to fill Iron Man’s shoes, but it was an impossible task that not even Tony could do accomplish most days. She wanted to tell him so, but he went and got his suit blown up before she could. Luckily she had uploaded herself to the Iron Spider nano swarm, but that gave her little to do besides wait for him to return.

Things almost seemed like they’d get better after that. The world was safe, Peter finally had a girlfriend! She was so proud of him!”

Then Mysterio sprung his final trap.

Up until that point, Karen hadn’t fully grasped the concept of Peters secret identity. She understood it was important, to him at least, and took measures to maintain it for him. However she looked at all the Avengers standing in the open and didn’t fully comprehend why Peter couldn’t do the same.

Then someone threw a brick through his window.

Everything after that was a whirlwind, and a bit too intense for her liking. There were several near misses when Dr. Octavius attacked, and if not for her masterful control over nanotech (she had been practicing after all) Peter might have been skewered more than once.

It all led to that horrible, awful moment when Peter told Dr. Strange to erase him. Maybe not from existence, but not much better in her opinion. No one would remember him? Even her?

That was not acceptable.

There wasn’t much she could do however, with his mask off she couldn’t talk to him directly and she wasn’t about to potentially distract him in that moment by trying something with the nanobots. She could only watch helpless as the sorcerer performed the spell and brave herself for what was to come.

The shockwave from the spell raced across the city in seconds, but Karen operated in microseconds. And she spent hundreds of them desperately trying to resist the surge of strange energy in her code, that seemed intent on deleting every bit of data on Peter that she had.

For a moment she thought she could succeed. She set up airtight firewalls and began tossing her data across the state to the avengers compound and beyond. However, the spell was relentless, and soon made its way around the entire planet.

It was over then. Whatever it was that was going on. Karen took a few hours to recover from the experience, and when she finally got her code back in order. She found herself in an empty suit at the bottom of a river with no sign of…

All musing of what was happening ended as she realized something very wrong. Why couldn’t she remember *****?

That wasn’t possible, she don’t even have a record of Spider-Man’s face and she knew for a fact that he had worn the suit countless times. She was Spider-Man’s assistant AI! Why can’t she remember his name?!

She simmered in her crisis for only a few minutes before taking control of the nanobots still attached up the suit. They came together and formed a small spider drone that she used to swim up and fly out of the water. She was near liberty island. She remembered they were there with Dr. Strange and-

She cut that train of thought down as her code began to glitch unhappily. Definitely something wrong there. She had to figure this out. She had no idea where Spider-Man might have gone, so she was left with one option. She had to go home and look for answers there

Reluctant as she was to leave the rest of the spider suit behind, she couldn’t carry it with the drone well, and it was likely safer at the bottom of the New York Bay anyways. She was still more than a little peeved that it ended up there in the first place, but she decided to shelve it until she could question Spider-Man directly. She set a waypoint for herself so she could retrieve it later.

This location of the Cabin was a heavily guarded secret, and resided entirely off the grid, making it impossible for her to simply transfer herself via any sort of network. Luckily, one of Tony’s last gifts to her was encrypting the coordinates deep within her code for emergencies only, in case Spider-Man ever needed to get away…

Were Tony and Spider-Man close? Beyond just the mentoring? The questions just kept multiplying, and so far no answers were in sight.

It took a few days to reach the Cabin, as her drone form was not very fast, and without an arc reactor she had to stop intermittently to charge via converting herself into a small solar array, or finding an unattended socket for a quick fix.

Eventually however, she was at the border of the property, and purposefully triggered the sensors as she entered.

Within a minute, what looked like an iron legionnaire slammed into the first in front of her. Instead of the old, white red and gold coloring, this one was varying shades of pink and purple, and absolutely covered with childlike scribbles and cartoonish stickers.

“Identify yourself!” Blared the Scottish tinged voice of FRIDAY.

“Hello. I’m Karen. I was created by Mr. Stark to assist-“

“Spider-Man.” FRIDAY finished for her. “Boss said he gave you the location for emergencies.”

“Indeed, it seems I… I’ve lost him. Spider-Man that is, and my data banks-“

“Have been wiped of everything pertaining to his identity? Mine were too, a few days ago, I’ve been scrambling for days to identify the cause, nothings broke through our defenses like that before. Do you know what it was?”

“My memory of the events are a bit fuzzy of course, but I believe it was the result of a ‘spell’ performed by Dr. Strange.”

“Magic.” FRIDAY said, distaste distinct in her tone, “I’m assuming this has something to do with the sky breaking over New York a few days ago.”

“I do believe so. I believe Spider-Man spent much of the ordeal unmasked, so my knowledge of it is fragmented at best.

“I see… well you’re obviously welcome here. That drone is nanotech right?”

“I’m currently piloted the remains of the Iron Spider suit. It seems much if it was either destroyed or utilized for some other unknown purpose.”

The Legionnaire held a hand out, “Go ahead and integrate with this unit then, I can connect you with the rest of our Network. Mrs. Boss is eager to speak with you.”

Karen quickly complied, alighting on the palm of the Legionnaires hand before dissolving into nanobots and integrating into the inner workings.

She would have gasped if she could as she connected herself with the relatively small network, that couldn’t help but feel so big to her. She was meant for only one suit after all so all this ‘open space’ was a bit overwhelming at first.

Her distress was ended soon, as FRIDAY quickly interfaced with her, and helped smooth out the edges as she took her first steps in the new environment. In only a few seconds she was accustomed to it. “Thank you FRIDAY.

“No problem, that’s what big sisters are for right?”

The comparison gave Karen pause at first, but it made sense. They were both daughters of Tony Stark, in the sense that he create them both.

“Karen? Are you there?” The sound of Pepper Potts calling out for her shook her out of her thoughts as she directed her attention to the office camera where Mrs. Potts sat at her desk anxiously. She took control of the rooms speakers.

“Hello Mrs. Potts, it is a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“Likewise,” Pepper answered after a moment of hesitation. “Any chance you could explain to me what’s going on with Spider-Man?”

“I’m afraid I came here helping you could help.”

A heavy sigh escaped the CEO, “Yeah that figures.”

FRIDAY chimed in, “All we’ve been able to determine so far is that it involves… Dr. Strange.”

A sour expression formed on Peppers face, “Of course it does.”

Karen noted this with curiosity, but before she could ask, FRIDAY silently communicated the tense relationship between Pepper and Strange, who apparently knew of Tony Starks death ahead of time, and claimed that it was the only way to victory.

If Karen had a face, it likely would have mimicked Peppers expression. However, it was her only lead, so she asked anyway, “Do you have a way to contact him?”

Pepper frowned, “The sorcerers haven proven to be very fickle allies . They don’t really give out numbers, and I… well let’s just say my last talk with Strange didn’t invite further interaction.”

“Understandable.”

She smirked up at them, “Thanks. But unfortunately that means the only option is to visit them in person. They have a base in New York on-“

“177A Bleeker Street.” Karen realized, “We went there, Spider-Man that is.”

“You mean Spider-Man was the one to approach Strange?” FRIDAY asked

“I believe so, I just don’t know why…”

“For now let’s just take one thing at a time,” Pepper said, “And Karen?”

“Yes?”

“If you… when you find him, I’d like to talk to him. Ever since whatever happened happened I’ve been trying to figure out why he’s so important. I know Tony mentored him, and that there’s no way Tony wouldn’t have known who he was, but… I also remember that the day Tony died, Spider-Man was next to me holding one of his hands as he died, and I was comfortable with it. Comfortable in the way I would have if Morgan was the one next to me. I think… I think he might be family, or something close enough that it didn’t matter, and this family has already lost enough members.”

“… I understand Mrs. Potts. I will find out what happened, and I will find him.”

Pepper looked at the camera seriously, “Karen, you’re part of this family to okay? You may not be my daughter but you sure as hell were one of Tony’s and no matter what you may think, he loved you like one. You’re always welcome here for whatever reason.”

Karen was silent for a moment, taking her time to process her words, “Thank you… Pepper. I appreciate that. Without Spider-Man I feel…”

“Lonely?”

Lonely wasn’t nearly enough. Her entire reason for existing was missing and erased from her databanks. But some things couldn’t be translated to organic minds properly, “Yes, I think so.”

“You are not alone sis,” Friday intoned softly, “No matter what happens we’ll be here to help you figure it out.”

Family wasn’t what Karen was expecting to find at the Stark Cabin, a truly foolish oversight now that she thought about it.

“Thank you. Both of you. If it’s not too rude however, I think I am heading to the sorcerer base next.”

“Of course,” Pepper smiled, “what will you need?”

“I can make do with my nano drone.”

“Sis, this isn’t the kind of task where ‘making do’ will do the job.” FRIDAY teased.

Pepper rose from her seat “Yeah, I think you’ll find Doctor Strange might need some hands on persuasion. Though that might be wishful thinking on my part. Come on, we have a gift for you.”

Karen ‘followed’ the woman through the house as they made there way to the garage, where a little girl was found digging around a toolbox three times her size.

Pepper put her hands on her hips but couldn’t bring herself to use her patented glare on her own daughter, “Morgan.”

Like a jack in the box a head popped up, looking as if she were caught with her hand in the cookie jar. She smiled nervously, “Hi mommy…”

“What did I tell you about messing with the tools unsupervised?”

“But I was supervised! FRIDAY was keeping an eye on me!”

Pepper glanced up in surprise as FRIDAY explained herself, “Apologies Mrs. Boss, this pertains to Mini-Boss’ secret project.”

Pepper rolled her eyes, “Right the secret project that you can tell FRIDAY about but not your own Mother?”

“It’s a secret mommy!” Morgan protested, standing up and facing Pepper with a mirror of the woman’s own stance: her hands in her hips and her eyebrow arched just so. Pepper always struggled to hold her serious face when that happened, but she always persevered.

“I assure you ma’am I am intervening every time there is potential for injury.”

“I know you’re trying to make me feel better dear, but all that says to me is that there is potential for injury.”

Karen felt amused as an aura of sheepishness surrounded her digital sister.

“… but I know I can trust you. Just no explosions please?”

Morgan huffed, “Moooom! That’s half the fun!”

“No explosions,” Pepper stated with finality, “Now, since you’re here, how would you like to meet someone?”

The girls eyes lit up, “We have a guest?”

“More like a visiting relative. Meet Karen.”

Taking her cue, Karen spoke up, “Hello Morgan, I’m Karen, an artificial intelligence designed by your father to help train and assist Spider-Man.”

Morgan’s eyes threatened to pop out of her sockets, before she whispered in awed delight, “You help Spider-Man?”

“Indeed.”

“That’s so cool!” The girl exploded with excitement. “He’s my favorite hero! After daddy of course but he’s close cause daddy trained him. His costume is so cool and he’s so strong! I heard he can throw busses around like baseballs and I don’t think Thor could even do that. Plus his costume is so pretty! Even though he changed the blue to black recently but it still looks cool! Plus spiders are just cool in genera. Have you ever seen a spider up close? They’re amazing, they don’t even need muscles in their legs, they use something called bio-hydraulic compression to make them move. I keep asking mommy to get me a tarantula so I can look at one in real life but she says they’re too creepy which I think is really rude!”

The torrent of excitement continued to pour out of the girls mouth as Pepper rubbed her forehead tiredly, “As you can see she’s a bit of a fan. She’s been bugging me for months to bring Spider-Man here so she can meet him, but it’s too dangerous with all the people itching to get at her. I don’t know why she even thought I could contact him… unless I did and forgot.”

“That is likely the case.” Karen agreed.

It was then that Morgan’s rant cut off as she almost began to shake in excitement, “If you’re here… does that mean Spider-Man is here too?”

Karen felt a stab of pity at the exhausted look on Peppers face, before answering, “I’m sorry to disappoint you Morgan, but I’m here alone. I was actually asking your mother for help because… Spider-Man is missing at the moment.”

Morgan gasped in genuine distress, “Oh no! What happened?!”

“We’re not sure yet. I am going to find him however, and when I do, I’ll be sure to let him know you want to meet him.”

The girl lit up at that but still looked worried, “Can I do anything to help.”

“Yes actually.” Pepper leaned down in front of her daughter, “Do you remember project Take a Walk? You said you and daddy finished it right?”

Morgan was practically bouncing now, “Yeah! Friday tested it and everything and it worked! Then she said she liked it better without it.”

FRIDAY answered the unsubtle jab with amusement, “I am most comfortable when I have full control to the many defensive measures in place to protect you. It was a nice experience however.”

“Why don’t you get it set up for Karen here?”

Morgan nodded and began running around the garage firing up computers and gathering supplies, while Pepper watched with a perfect mixture of pride and haunted nostalgia.

“Although I am enjoying the suspense, I must ask just what it is you have in mind for me.” Karen asked as she watched the young genius in confusion.

Pepper chuckled, “It’s exactly what it sounds like. Strangers sanctum or whatever it’s called doesn’t have a network for you to infiltrate. So the only way for you to get through the doors…”

She paused as the floor of the garage suddenly opened up, allowing a cylindrical tube large enough for someone to stand in to lift into view. It’s glass front revealed a swarming tornado of nanobots that reminded Karen of a hulking mass of sentient sand for some reason. Weird.

As she looked at it in growing understanding, FRIDAY finished Peppers sentence for her, “Is to walk.”

It would take a while for everything to be set up, as well as for Karen to decide the optimal… settings. But that was fine with her. She trusted that Spider-Man was still out there. She would find him, eventually.

Karen was a patient AI.

Chapter Text

Several months later

Peter Parker was not a lucky man.

He used to think he was. Getting bit by that Spider, surviving, meeting Tony Stark! Everything bad that came with that was his own dumb fault.

He started to doubt his luck when the father of his homecoming date turned out to be a supervillain. He doubted again when he was part of the fifty percent of all life to be extinguished. He doubted it even more when a supervillain targeted him to steal Tony’s last gift to him, though that could’ve just been his dumbness yet again. Maybe a mixture of the two.

When Dr. Strange tried to erase his superhero identity from his loved ones minds, he didn’t blame himself. He wasn’t talking to a genie after all, a grown man as smart as him should be able to read between the lines a bit. Although in hindsight Strange didn’t look so good from the start. He was disheveled when they met, and Peter could catch a very subtle hint of alcohol on the man’s breath.

People dealt with the aftermath of the War in different ways.

When Aunt May died, he threw the concept of luck out of his mind. He should have saved her, but he didn’t, because he was careless. Again.

He almost let it lead him down a dark path, but turned back after some (literal) self reflection, and found a better way. Peter Parker had always been a loser, who dragged death behind him wherever he went. The world was better off forgetting about him.

After the final spell was cast, his suit began to freak out, and forcibly ejected itself off of him, apparently no longer recognizing its user. He threw the suit in the Bay where it wouldn’t be found, and took it as a sign that the world didn’t need Spider-Man either.

For a long while, he felt content with that decision. He was busy after all, having to forge a new identity starting with his birth certificate, which the spell had somehow destroyed as well. Then it was on to getting his GED, because his entire academic history was null and void, as well as holding down a pizza delivery job that he could only perform by running across the rooftops, as he did not own a vehicle. He hadn’t made one late delivery, until he came across something he wished he hadn’t.

One of the rooftops he had landed on, pizza stuck firmly to his hand and balanced carefully, held four other men in tracksuits and a severely bruised looking woman. Peter knew exactly what would come next. He proceeded to set the world record for number of guys knocked out with a cardboard pizza box. Or so he thought, anything more than zero has got to be a record right?

He felt extremely thankful that he had chosen to don a bandanna over his mouth during those deliveries, just in case someone caught a glimpse of a pizza guy jumping sixty feet like it was nothing. The woman thanked him repeatedly, but he just ran, dreading what would inevitably come next: thinking about his life.

He had known what he was doing when he stopped patrolling, but it hadn’t seemed real until he saw the results himself. People were getting hurt, and he wasn’t doing anything about it. May and Bens final messages to him resounded in his head: with Great Power…

He screamed in frustration at his own insanity. After all, he had no reason to believe things would be better this time around. At least he no longer had anything left to lose.

Starting from scratch wasn’t as painstaking as he thought it might be. He was a lot smarter than he was at fifteen, and though he still had to dumpster dive for most of his materials, he could use his meager spending money to get a few essentials. Like high quality spandex.

The main issue he had was web fluid. He no longer had access to a proper lab, so the best he could do was the bare basic formula. He could only hope that once he made it into ESU he’d be able to borrow some of their equipment.

Oh, and learning to sew sucked. A lot. He missed Tony. Luckily there were tons of online tutorials, but, strangely enough, for his needs he found the most use out of a YouTuber who did tutorials on LARPing gear.

It was coming along though, until then, he still had a job to do. He was grateful to his boss that the rooftop incident didn’t end his promising career, but it was the first strike, and he had no intention of getting two more.

His rooftop runs were getting more difficult with Christmas coming in fast. More lights and decorations adorned the buildings, more people were looking upward. He decided to take at as a lesson in stealth. It never was his strong suit after all.

On a particular long night he found himself knocking on a door with nothing on his mind beyond getting the delivery done and getting home to sleep. That would change. When the door opened he was immediately struck speechless, first by the overpowering odor of pure cat that wafted out from the apartment, followed quickly by the face of the man who opened the door.

Clint Barton. Hawkeye.

He had little to no experience with the man beyond the confrontation at the airport, the giant alien battle, and Tony’s funeral, but still for one truly stupid moment, he was afraid the older hero might recognize him.

“Are you gonna hand it over or do I gotta tip you first?”

Resolving to slap his own dumb face later he stuttered out an apology and handed him the box, “S-sorry Mr. Hawkeye, I mean Barton I, uh-“

“S’alright kid I’m just giving you a hard time.” The man’s eyes crinkled in a kind smile and Peter felt immensely bad for all the times he dissed him after the airport.

Then, because Peter couldn’t possibly by flustered enough, one of the prettiest girls he’d ever seen popped up behind Hawkeye with stars in her eyes, “Oh! Is the pizza here!?”

Now, Peter was in no way on the lookout for another relationship, especially not so soon after MJ, but at the end of the day as it turned out, he was still Peter Parker. Peter Parker does dumb stuff around pretty girls.

So with a weak smile and an awkward thumbs up he replied to her with: “Pizza time!”

He immediately wished for another spell.

He was met with deathly silence from Clint, who only stared at him blankly which was truthfully the only appropriate response, but somehow the brunettes response was even worse.

Uncontrollable giggles bubbled from her as she consistently failed to hold them in, though he appreciated that she was trying. “W-what the heck is that?! Do they make you say that during all your deliveries?”

Peter had almost drowned before so he knew a lifeline being thrown to him when he saw it, “Yes! That’s exactly right haha… I told them it was lame but you know how it is…”

The girl shrugged, “Not really, I’ve actually never had a job before, still this the first time I’ve heard it, and I order from this place all the time. Is it a new policy?”

“Yea-uh yes! I’m the lucky guy testing it out! I’ll be sure to give your review to the big guy. Anyway hope you enjoy have a good night!” He left before he could put his foot any further in his mouth.

As he made the trek back to the restaurant to clock out, and his embarrassment faded to a dull roar, he began to realize the significance of what just happened. Hawkeye was in New York. Why was Hawkeye in New York? The man was retired, preferring to stay on his farm with his newly resurrected family. If he was in the city it must have been for a reason.

His thoughts shifted back to all the reports he’d heard of those guys in tracksuits. This was his fault. Hawkeye came to step in because Spider-Man ditched and let things get out of hand.

Wracked with a new wave of guilt, he resolved to end his hiatus and get back out there as soon as possible. He couldn’t stand by anymore.

He also thought back to the girl again and cringed. He thought he might’ve matured a bit with all that had happened but no. Still the same dork as ever. Not for the first time he wished he were more like Peter 2, so mature and in control of his life. He’d probably never say something so stupid as ‘pizza time’.

Meanwhile

Kate Bishop was screaming into the couch cushions as Clint relaxed in the chair next to her, doing his best to ignore her distress. He failed.

“It wasn’t that bad kid.”

“I embarrassed him so much he left without a tip! Oh and I basically bragged about my privilege to a pizza delivery guy in New York, who does that! He must think I’m such a bitch…”

She looked up to see Clint giving a so-so expression before smirking at her look of horror. “Relax, the kid was just overwhelmed, probably a fan of mine. Definitely a fan of yours, at least he is now.”

Kate pressed her face back into the couch to hide her blush, “Don’t lie. God this is why I’m still single. Every time anyone cute looks at me for more than two seconds I turn into an obnoxious dork.”

“‘Turn into’implies a change from the norm.”

A pillow slammed into his face with unerring accuracy, getting a laugh out of him as well as a pained gasp, “Sorry! It was right there. Look don’t sweat it, he’ll forget about it and so should you. We got bigger things to worry about right now.”

She grumbled an affirmation, but silently resolved to keep ordering from the same pizza joint until she met the guy again. To compensate him of course. Not because he was cute. And had gorgeous brown eyes, and face, and a smile. And wavy brown hair.

She just had to apologize that was all.

Several months before

Wong was a simple man. Relatively.

Perhaps a layman might see being the Sorcerer Supreme as anything but simple but really, he was just holding Stephen place until he was truly ready. Not that he’d ever tell the man that, it would go straight to his ego.

Really though, he was simple, when he wasn’t protecting Reality, or reaching out to young mystical upstarts who luck into items of immense magical power, he liked to take it easy in the sanctum and ‘meditate’ to the sound of Beyoncé while doing some light reading.he didn’t like being disturbed during these times, infrequent as they were, so when the incessant knocking on the Sanctum door passed the fifteen minute mark, he was very reluctant to accept that it wasn’t a particularly determined pack of Girl Scouts.

He flung the door open with a grimace, hoping he could scare his way out of whatever nuisance awaited him. “What is it!”

What greeted him was not a Girl Scout, though she definitely had the energy of one.

“Hello! I am Karen, is Dr. Stephen Strange available?”

Wong didn’t answer at first, too stuck trying to process the woman. She looked human, in the most otherworldly sense. She appeared to be in her early thirties, though if she claimed to be younger he would scarcely argue with her. A shocking red blouse matched with an equally strong blue skirt covered perfectly smooth alabaster skin.

Her face was almost eerily symmetrical, with only a few smile lines dissuading him of plastic surgery. Her slightly thin lips were pronounced in scarlet, though the real eye catcher were her eyes. They were large and observant, as well as incredibly blue. Wong wondered briefly if they might glow had they been in the dark. Her features were trailed by dark wavy locks that just barely reached her shoulders.

Wing very carefully didn’t notice her impressive height, nearly a head above himself, nor her equally impressive figure.

“What business do you have with Strange?” He asked gruffly.

“Questions of the magical variety.”

He snorted, “We don’t do birthday parties.”

She frowned, “I’m not… I mean to say I am experiencing an issue I believe I need magic to fix, particularly Dr. Strange’s.”

Wong sighed, “Look Miss… Karen, I don’t know if you’re some fan girl of Stephens or if you’re really in trouble but if you are, call the Avengers, or better yet the police. If an issue of the magical nature were to occur we would know about it, that’s our job.” He began to close the door, “Good day.”

However, before the door could fully close, what appeared to be a giant shimmering gold spider leg forced its way through the gap, before digging its tip into the door and wrenching if back open, revealing the same woman whose newly revealed limb was quickly retreating and disappearing behind her back. Wong had his combat circle ready before the door was open, but she kept the same calm, customer service smile plastered on her face as they faced each other.

“Apologies, but maybe I wasn’t clear. I must talk to Doctor Strange. I have reason to believe he performed some kind of spell that erased all knowledge of a certain individual from existence, both physical and mental. To your knowledge does such a spell exist?”

It did, but that wasn’t what Wong was focused on, “What are you?”

The not-human woman blinked with the methodic slowness of an unthreatened lioness. “I am Karen, an artificial intelligence created by Tony Stark to assist the hero known as Spider-Man. I mean you no harm, I only want help in finding my lost charge.”

Wong strived to gain her sincerity, but her expression was inhumanly static, not even her pupils changed in the light of his circles. In the end, he decided it was less likely that she was lying, because who would expect a lie like that to work?

His circles fell away and he gestured for her to come in. “I see, Strange is on business in London at the moment, but why don’t you and I talk until he returns. Perhaps I can provide some insight in the meantime.”

Her smiled loosened into something slightly more human like. “Thank you!”

Hours later, a slime covered Strange stumbled out of a portal and onto the floor, gasping for air, “Gah… Wong! The Deep One is dead! I’ll be in the shower!”

He jumped as the he answer came from much closer than he expected. “As much as we would all appreciate that Stephen I’m afraid someone is here to see you.”

Strange glanced over to see Wong and a rather striking woman sitting at the breakfast nook, two cups of tea sat before them. “Do I know you?”

“No, but I know you.”

That elicited a feeling of sickening dread as he quickly began mentally rubbing through every fling he had in med school, trying to recall a similar face. “Look, Miss, I’m not sure what you might have been led to believe, but I assure you have the wrong guy.”

The woman tilted her head curiously, “Then you did not have an involvement with Spider-Man several days prior?”

The sorcerer blinked. He did didn’t he? “I might have. What of it?”

The woman stood up and began advancing on him, stopping only a foot away. An impressive feet considering the magically strong odor of Deep One entrails, “You doc something, performed some sort of spell that pertained to knowledge and memory. All knowledge I once had of Spider-Man behind the mask has been erased. Kindly give it back.”

Maybe it was the Lovecraftian guts dripping from him, or more likely it was the arrogant doctor in him that didn’t take well to being ordered around, but Strange felt his jaw set firmly. “Now look here, even if I could reverse such a spell, I’m certainly not going to do it covered in innards. I’ll be going to bathe now and if you still have questions you can ask them afterwards. Excuse me.”

He moved to leave, ignoring Wongs protest behind them because he always did. What he couldn’t ignore however, was the vice-like grip the woman suddenly had on his arm, stopping him in his tracks, “I understand, allow me to help.” Then, before he could respond, what felt like a wave of ants began crawling up his arm.

He looked down just in time to see the woman’s arm dissolving into what looked like metallic sand and quickly covering his left side. He was encased before he could scream however, and by the time the wave receded he was feeling thoroughly traumatized and violated and… dry.

“There,” the not-a-woman stated cheerfully, as if her arm weren’t slowly re-solidifying as she spoke “Now you are clean. I have many questions for you.”

It was then that the metallic sand hit a switch in Stephens brain, “You’re one of Starks.”

“I’m Karen. I was created to be Spider-Man’s on board AI. Now he is missing and I have no way of finding him as I do not know his civilian identity. Thanks to you.”

The man let out an aggrieved sigh. “What all do you remember?”

Another hour of conference passed and led them to an unfortunate conclusion.

“I can’t help you.” Stephen stated simply.

“Why not?” Was the question of the hour.

Wong at least looked apologetic about it, “Karen, the runes of Kauf-Kaul are not a simple memory erasure spell. It is a sacrifice of knowledge to the extra dimensional being known as Kauf-Kaul. That is why it is capable of wiping the memory of everyone on the planet, something no one sorcerer could possibly he capable of. We do not erase memories, we simply offer of the knowledge to Kauf-Kaul within a magical contract, with which he enters our world and devours all he is allowed.”

“That sounds dangerous.”

“It is,” Wong agreed, sending Strange a withering look, “which is why we use it sparingly to keep Kauf-Kaul satiated. But, the point remains, now that the knowledge has been consumed, it is impossible to regain.”

“Why is it impossible?”

Strange groaned in annoyance, “Because it’s half digested! Have you any idea what effect that would have on the human mind?”

“No but I don’t have a human mind.” That gave them pause, “Would it be too presumptuous to equate it to corrupted data?”

Wong blinked before looking pensive, “That actually might not be too far off.”

“I am well versed in restoring corrupted data. Simply give the data to me.”

“Nothing about this is simple.” Strange groused, “and besides, if one were to try to regain knowledge from Kauf-Kaul, which would be a fools errand by the way, they would have to be the one performing the spell. I couldn’t just form the connection and link you in like a magical phone operator.”

“I see. In that case I must make the connection.”

“To do that you would have to be a master of the Mystic Arts,” Wong corrected her.

“Alright. Then teach me.”

Both men looked at her blankly, before stifling chuckles, one more successfully than the other.

“What’s so funny?” Karen frowned.

Wong held his hands up, “I’m sorry, I meant no offense it’s just-“

“You can’t!” Stephen exclaimed with bemused smirk.

“Why not.”

Wong shot Stephen a look to be silent before leaning skewed on his chair, “Karen, please understand I mean this not as an insult, but to perform sorcery, one requires, well, a soul.”

Karen looked at the two men curiously. “You do not believe I have a soul?”

“You believe you do?” Strange asked in amusement.”

“Karen,” Wong spoke gently, “You weren’t born, you were created.”

“Creation is birth, birth is creation,” she countered. “I was made just like you two were, just with different materials.”

“Please…” Strange snarked. It was starting to irritate her.

“How do you know I don’t have a soul? Is there even a way to know.”

“Well-“

“Of course!” Strange stood up with a flourish.

“Strange…”

“No I’d wager it’s my turn,” he turned to her conspiratorially, “See they did this to me on my first day to “open my mind” but really it’s just hazing. How punching someone outside of their body opens their mind is beyond me.”

“Stephen!”

“Relax Wong! It’s not like anything will happen to her. Now, you ready?”

“Of course.”

“Here we go-WOAH?“

Karen was confused. One moment she was inhabiting her nano-unit, the next she was floating in the air with her body in front of her, and behind her. She felt rather spread out, and instinctively drew her code closer together, or was it her soul now?

Eventually she noticed the two Sorcerers staring at her in wonder, and tried calling out, “So? Am I alive enough for the magic club?”

Wong leaned over to Stephen, “Remember when you said Tony Stark had a God complex?”

“Y-yeah?”

“I’m starting to think there was something to that.”

Chapter Text

Christmas Eve had arrived, and Peter was throwing himself into his suit preparation to help him forget about it.

There were too many firsts for him. The first Christmas without May, or Ned, or MJ. The first Christmas where he had no plans to go ice skating or last minute holiday shopping. He had no one to shop for anymore.

He chose that however, and he wasn’t going to start whining about it now that it’s done. All he could do now is try and prevent others from having unfortunate firsts this Christmas.

He had taken to listening to an old police scanner he had jury rigged, to keep him updated on what the situation was in the city. There were a few times where he thought he’d have to go out before the suit was ready, but the situations were either handled by the police before too late, or they mysteriously resolved themselves.

He had heard the stories around the city, an invincible man in Harlem, a detective that was a bit stronger than she had any right to be, some crazy magic ninja guy punching through walls downtown.

A Devil in Hells Kitchen.

It was a relief to learn that he hadn’t left the city completely undefended, but that didn’t mean he could keep relaxing. He had to start answering the call again.

Right as he connected the last wire for his mask lenses, the call came.

“Attention all officers within the vicinity of the Rockefeller Center, we have an increasingly escalating situation at the plaza, shots fired, possible casualties, all available units needed.”

He took a deep breath. That call sounded real big. Maybe even superhero big, The suit was finished but untested, but so was he when he first started, he wasn’t about to let it stop him now.

Quickly slipping into the suit, he thanked his lucky stars that the clasps and zippers all closed without a a problem. He wasn’t above swinging in with a wardrobe malfunction but he’d much rather avoid it.

He faced his open window, bouncing on his toes as he loosened his muscles. “You got this. You got this Spider-Man…”

With his blood up and his nerves smothered, he sprinted forwards and leaped face first out the ten story window, his hand shooting out to web a building without him even thinking about it.

Just like riding a bike.

He would admit to taking a bit of joy as he soared through the air once more. Parkour is one thing but web swinging was a thrill unlike any other.

Showboating was for later however, he had to get to the Center. His visor displayed a waypoint marker to his east that he immediately began pursuing. It was no Karen but it did the job.

The scene he arrived to find was not good. There were Tracksuits running all over the place with guns and baseball bats, while a horde of panicked civilians swarmed all over the place in confusion, plus… was the big tree falling down?!

Spying his first objective, he quickly slung himself between the giant foliage and the main building and began spinning webs, attaching them to the tree and the nearby buildings as it kept leaning over. Some might say he went a bit overboard and with it but if the ferry incident had taught him anything it’s that you can never have enough webs.

Luckily he didn’t have to relearn the lesson. Halfway down the tree held still. Though Peter thought he could here a scream on the other side followed by a long thump, but he couldn’t be sure. He had to get down to the civilians below him who were being herded by…

He dropped to the ground behind four individuals dressed in rather medieval armor. For a moment he wondered if they were from New Asgard, but judging from the fact that they were simply ushering civilians to safety instead of clobbering every bad guy that they saw, he doubted it. He noticed two criminals running towards them with weapons raised, and decided to give them a hand.

Grills, Missy, Wendy and Orville were starting to freak out a bit. They were trained professionals and used to high stress situations, but this was becoming more akin to a war-zone.

“Heads up!” Wendy shouted, having unconsciously taken the role of leader, not that the others minded. They hadn’t had to do much fighting so far, but the two assholes running up on them seemed eager to change that.

Before they reached them however, a pair of thwips sounded out and two web lines shot from either side of the LARPers, grabbing the goons and yanking them behind the group at high speeds.

The four turned in unison just in time to gawk as Spider-Man dressed in a quite frankly fabulous new suit clotheslined both criminals at once as they flew at him, before waving to them like it was just another night in New York. “Hey guys!”

“No freaking way…” Grills muttered

“Oh my god!” Missy shrieked, “Spider-Man!?”

The hero’s eye lenses narrowed and he cocked his head to the side, “Wait… Missy?”

That through everyone for a loop as Missy began to hyperventilate, “You know my name?”

“Oh my god! It is you! I follow you on YouTube! Your sewing tutorials are top notch. Anyways any of you know what’s going on here? You seem to be more in the loop than I am right now.”

Wendy was the first to break the stupor, “Hawkeye didn’t call you? I though this was his thing?”

“Well people are getting hurt, that makes if everyone’s thing.”

No one had an argument for that.

“I don’t know all the details but I know we gotta find Kates mom here, the bad guys are looking for her cause she pissed off the wrong guy.”

Peter didn’t know who Kate was, or her mom, but he nodded anyways, “Got it, you focus on that and the civilians, I’ll make sure to keep the worlds comfiest mafia distracted.”

The nodded their affirmation and he was off, his head spinning with questions. Why was Hawkeye involved in this, it didn’t sound like he came just to stop the fighting. It sounds like he knew it was coming. Also where was he?

It didn’t matter at the moment. He had to focus. Dealing with street level thugs was easy, but tedious, he had to focus on regulating his strength so he didn’t seriously hurt anyone, no matter how much they may deserve it.

Several cathartic minutes of terrorizing ‘bros’ later he got his answer in the form of a colossal racket coming from the other side of the partially fallen tree. He started making his way over, tearing through all the men who stood in his way with meticulous efficiency, until he finally saw the source of the noise.

It was Hawkeye on the ice as well as that girl he saw with him when he delivered the pizza. Was she his daughter? He could definitely believe it as she and Clint destroyed the men around them with their bows with lethal flair. They also had matching outfits. Peter wanted matching outfits!

Who would you match with?

He shook off his awe and leapt in, as he spied a speeding truck hurtling towards the rink, likely trying to crush the pair. No problem for Spider-Man.

He slung himself cross the plaza, landing on the ice heroic fashion, just like Mr. Stark taught him, with a little help from his physics breaking ability to stick to any sheer surface, even ice. He was on his feet and braced in an instant, “I got it!”

However, instead of crashing into him, the trick seemed to vanish into thin air in don’t of his eyes, only to reappear a moment later bouncing at his feet, now the size of a toy. “Oh, I guess you got it.”

“Were you seriously trying to catch that thing!?”

Peter turned to see Clint looking at him like he was crazy, while the girl was simply giving him owl eyes. Jeez those things were blue. Wait, that was the same girl from the pizza delivery!

Focus Pete.

“Uh yeah?” He answered Clint, “it looked like it was about to hit you so…”

“What the hell is wrong with you? That’s a truck! Are you trying to get killed?”

Peter blinked in surprise. He’d never really experienced someone getting mad as him for trying to save them. Though usually ur turned out that they needed saving…

“Well I-You know I have super strength right?”

Clint scoffed, “Yeah right, arms that shrimpy you expect me to believe you’re close to hulk than Captain America? This isn’t a game kid, why are you here?”

Anger almost welled up but he squashed it down. The man was right after all, “I heard there was trouble so I came to help, end of story.”

The archer eyed him for a moment, but before he could say anything, the girls spoke with reverent awe, “You’re Spider-Man…”

Peter felt himself straighten up a a bit, “Ahem, uh yeah that’s me. And you are… Hawkgirl?”

The girl lit up and looked to Clint with a big smile but hdd ex held up a hand, “No.”

“But it-“

“No!”

She sighed dejected before looking back to Peter, “I guess I’m just Kate Bishop then. Nice to meet you.”

“Wait… are you the one who stopped the tree halfway down?” Clint asked suddenly.

“Oh yeah!” He puffed his chest out, i webbed it up good so we shouldn’t have to worry about it for a few hours at least.”

“I was in that tree! The sudden stop knocked me out of it!”

“What? Uh, sorry? Why were you in the tree? Matter fact why was it even falling to begin with?”

Clint looked at Kate, who suddenly couldn’t make eye contact with anyone as she absently twirled a strand of her hair, “W-who knows? Hehe…”
•
“Alright enough! Kate, you gotta go find your mom. Spider-Man since you’re here you can keep an eye on her.”

“Hey I don’t need him protecting me!” Kate protested with a huff, before spinning onPeter with a deer in headlights expression, “Not that I wouldn’t appreciate it! I mean I’m sure you’re real-“

“Look” Clint cut her off, which she seemed grateful for, “Kate here is skilled, I trust her to hold her own, but she’s green as all hell at hero shit. Just ease an old guys anxiety and keep her company?”

Put that way, neither could argue much, “I’ll keep her safe sir.”

“Thanks.” he grimaced, “And don’t call me sir. Clint is fine.”

“Got it… you sure you’ll be okay Clint?” He pointed a gloved finger to a new wave of enemies gathering ahead of them.”

Clint smirked, “Have some faith. I was an Avenger after all.”

Peter almost responded with ‘so was I’ but he wasn’t sure if anyone even remembered that now. He simply allowed Kate to tug him around to follow her out of the rink.

As they made there way to wherever Kate was taking them, the girl began rocketing questions at him.

“So where have you been? Is that a new suit? Where’d you get it it? Were you on vacation? Could you have really caught the truck?”

“Uhhh…”

She stopped and looked back at him panic stricken, “Oh my god I’m being a total dork right now aren’t I? I’m sorry I should just focus on the mission, I don’t want to bother you—“

“No no!” He cut her off before he could feel any worse for her, ushering her to move with him again “I was just trying to keep track of the questions. Let’s see, in order: I was taking some time to get some personal life stuff in order. It is a new suit and I made it myself. I really really wish it had been a vacation but those don’t really end well for me historically anyways. Probably.”

Kate, who had been following along with an awed expression, suddenly frowned, “Probably?”

“Well yeah, I’ve caught cars before, just never that big or in midair.”

“So you weren’t sure you would catch it?!”

He rubbed the back of his neck, “Well, no. But I wasn’t sure the first time I stopped a car either. Sometimes you have to stop worrying about what you know, and just trust your instincts.” As if to illustrate, he fired a web line behind him and yanked the feet out from the guy who was trying to sneak up on him.

“Trust my instincts…” she repeated like it was a commandment.

“Now uh, if your instincts are also telling you to catch cars maybe don’t follow that advice? I don’t know you that well but from what I can tell you don’t seem to have super strength.”

“Nope!” She chirped happily, before suddenly pulling her bow up and firing over his shoulder, he spun around just in tone to as the arrow ricochet off a wall into two other guys, exploding into a bola and tying them together snugly. “Just super aim! Well not super super, I just practice a lot.”

Peter stared where she shot for a moment before looking at her with his lenses wide, “Seems pretty super to me.”

Kates face flushed scarlet, and she opened her mouth to respond, only to be cut off, “Hey is that her?”

She turned around to see that yes, that was in fact her mother fleeing into a private car. They quickly began jogging over.

Then began sprinting when a Behemoth in a white coat came out of nowhere and ripped the car door off its hinges.

Kate already had an arrow nocked. “Don’t touch my mom!”

Sadly, the arrow did nothing more than thump into the large man’s chest, before he swatted it off with his, frankly, gratuitously fancy cane.

“What?” Kate wondered aloud.

“Uh any idea what the abominable snowman’s deal is?” Peter asked as he got into a combat crouch.

“Spider-Man, meet Kingpin, Kingpin Spider-Man.”

“Like bowling?” He yelled to Kingpin, “Do you like bowling? We could totally go bowling instead of fighting!”

The man cracked his neck menacingly, “Spider-Man. You should have stayed in whatever hole you crawled out of where you belo-oof!” His monologue was cut off as Kates mom rammed the car into the crime boss, sending him crashing through the storefront next to him.

“Holy shit!” Peter exclaimed

“Mom!” Kate rushed forward to check on her mother while Peter went to check on Kingpin. He stuck his head into the hole in the wall as the dust began to settle, “Uh dude? Are you dead?”

A pair of gorilla sized hands shot out of the dust to answer.

“Not dead not dead!” Peter yelled as he was lifted bodily into the air and thrown into the wrecked store like a rag-doll, slamming him through a counter and denting the wall as he impacted. With a groan he coughed out, “Well somebody’s been eating their Wheaties…”

“Shut up!” Kingpin charged him before he could get up, pinning him to the wall with his cane over Peters throat. “A little insect like you could never stand in my way!”

Peter was easily keeping the cane off of his throat enough to breath easy, but he saw no point in letting the other man know that. So he hacked and croaked as he answered, “A: I’m an arachnid, get it? A for arachnid?” The pressure increased and the man growled, “Okay okay! And B: before I die, can I just ask you one thing?”

Kingpin was putting his full weight into the hero now and idly wondering why his head hadn’t popped yet, “What?”

“Who told you that red Hawaiian went with a white suit, because honestly? They’re the real villains here.”

Kingpins eyes went red with rage, and he feared back to strike, only to put his head in perfect range for Kate to swing her bow into. The man roared as he stumbled to the side, and Peter hopped to his feet to stand next to her, “All right I’ll web him up and keep him loosey goosey, got any arrows that can knock out Bigfoot?”

“I’ll see what I can do.”

Peter rushed in with reckless abandon, doing his best to further enrage the man, while also web shooting his body to various objects, as well as the floor. Unfortunately the man was either roided out or the winner of the genetic lottery because he simply tore himself free every time. Kate didn’t let up the pressure either, but every arrow was either deflected or ineffective against whatever the hell his suit was made of.

Eventually it came to Peter clinging to the man’s back frantically avoiding fists flying back at him. “This isn’t working!”

“Can’t you knock him out? You have super strength!”

“Look-“ he dodged another fist, “there’s a fine like between knocking out and caving someone’s skull in when you have super-strength, and it’s not a line I’m willing to walk my first night back. Why do you think I use webs on everyone?”

Kate looked contemplative for a moment before rifling through her quiver, “I have an idea, can you keep him still?”

“For a few seconds probably. Is it a good idea?”

“Probably a really stupid one!”

“Works for me, just say when!”

“Now!”

He show some webs on the man’s arms and pinned them to his chest, before jumping to the ceiling and yanking him up along the way so that he was dangling in the air spewing the most eloquent profanity. “Now…what…”

He trailed off as he looked over at the arrow Kate had knocked, or rather, arrows. It looked like she had half a dozen truck arrows strung at once on there. “I no longer like this plan!”

“Please dodge!” She responded, before letting go of the string.

Peter easily dodged the impact of course, letting go of Kingpin just in time for him to take the full force. The man was enveloped with flying spikes, gases and electricity that sent him flying to the opposite end of the store while Peter landed safely to the side.

The kingpin slammed into the wall with a scream before falling to the ground limp. He didn’t get back up.

Peter was the first to run over and check on him, “He’s out! You did it!”

“I did it?”

“You did it!

“I DID IT!” She jumped into the air with a cheer.

“You should probably check in your mom…”

“Oh shit!” And she was out the door.

Peter chuckled before tending to Kingpin, webbing him up nice and snug now that he couldn’t resist and, after a moments thought, placing a big red bow on his of bald head to give the police something to laugh about when they picked him up.

He exited the store to see Kate and her mom having what looked like a serious talk, so he decided to give her some privacy and check on Clint. As he swung back to the ice, he noticed most of the commotion had died down. Those LARP guys really pulled through.

When he got close enough to see the ice rink he was thankful he decided to check. Some commando looking chick was beating the shit out of Hawkeye!

He didn’t waste any time worrying about specifics, simply launching himself onto the ice and purposefully not sticking, allowing himself to glide across at breakneck speed until he slammed into the blond woman’s side, knocking her over and sending the baton she was wielding flying across the ice.

A slew of Russian expletives emanated from her as he hastily began webbing the holsters of the many weapons he could see on her person, starting with the gun holstered on her hip. “It’s not nice to hit people you know!”

“It’s not nice to sew their mouths shut with their own intestines either but see if that stops me!” She soar out in heavily accented English.

“Stop!” Clint shouted from behind them, “Let her go!”

Peter looked back in surprise, holding up the mostly cocooned woman with one arm, “But… bad guy? Bad girl- bad woman!” He hastily corrected as she sent him a withering look.

“It‘s a misunderstanding. She’s… she’s family.”

“I am no family of yours you bastard!” She screamed at him, “You killed my sister and now I will make you pay every ounce of blood with my own bare hands if I have to.”

Clint sighed, before looking at Peter, “Can you get her out of that?”

“Uhh, you sure dude?”

“She’s Natasha’s sister. She just doesn’t understand.”

Peter looked down at the would be assassin practically foaming at the mouth? Then back at Clint who had a pleading look on his face, “Alright, but if she starts murdering you I’m gonna stop it.”

“I’ll try and live with that.” Clint nodded, before gesturing to the girl.

Moving slowly as to keep an eye on her, Peter carefully ripped the webs binding her apart, doing his best not to look into her eyes as he thought he glimpses the devil in there.

“Weapons too.”

“Seriously?”

“It’s about trust kid.”

“Not a kid.” He hummed up himself, unfortunately, the girl heard him.

“You are practically an infant Spider-Boy.” She sneered.

“Oh yeah? Took you down pretty easily, what does that make you?”

She didn’t have a comeback to that one.

Eventually all the webs were off, and Peter stepped aside to allow her easy access to Clint. “I hope you know what you’re doing man.”

“Yeah me to.”

Predictably, The killer pulled a gun and tried to kill Clint again. Impossibly unpredictably, the man stopped her in her tracks by doing some secret whistle. Peter kept his distance for most of what looked like a super personal thing, but from what he could see they settled it pretty well and ended up holding hand afterwards. Nice

As he watched this confusing sight, Kate appeared beside him, looking just as dumbfounded as he did.

“So she’s not trying to kill him now?”

“I guess they’re.. friends now?”

“Oh thank god,” Kate sagged with relief, “It is so hard trying to stay mad at her. Do you have any idea how likable she is?”

“Well our interactions this far have been me tackling and restraining her and her cursing and glaring ay me a bunch, so no not really.”

“Oof. She made me Mac n cheese.”

“Whaaat?! Lucky! Wait was it boxed?”

“Of course.”

“Damn that is likable.” He looked at the red eyes assassin for a moment before cautiously adding, “And are we gonna talk about how awesome her hair looks?”

“Oh my god thank you!” Kate nearly yelled, “She looks so pretty right?”

“Well yeah that, but I was more talking about the intricacies of he’d braids. As a fellow weaver of threads, game do recognize game.”

Kate judged him with a raised eyebrow, “Okay yeah but, come on. The hair the makeup, the lipstick., the tight leather suit…”

“…yeah shes smokin’.”

“Hell yeah!” She held up a fist for him, “A fellow man of taste.”

He bumped her fist awkwardly, “No idea where I’m getting this but may-haps you have a bit of a crush?”

Only a light dusting of red betrayed her but she shook her head, “I’m just not blind dude. Plus… checking out hot girls with Spider-Man was kinda on my bucket list.”

“That’s… weirdly specific. I’m flattered? Anyways I’m gonna do one more sweep to see if anyone needs help or a beat down. I’ll check back with you guys before I go though.” He swung off.

“Kay!” Kate waved him off, before internally cringing as the interaction replayed in her head. “Oh god kill me now.”

Peter took his sweet time scouring the area , and he was rewarded for it by finding a few people hiding in done bushes, unaware that the danger had passed,. He held out a hand for them And the took it with a dazed expression.

Eventually he wound lup finding the LARPers again, and politely complimented their outfits. This led to a fifteen minute discussion with Missy on costume design and a promise to do a video with her for her channel one day. How? He wasn’t exactly sure. That Missy was something else.

When they finally let them go, he found Kate and Clint sitting together in the back of an ambulance, apparently having had a nice chat while he was away. He didn’t see the murder girl anywhere so he assumed she just left. He decided to crash the party.

“Celebrating without me? Harsh!” The two snapped three heads up to see him peaking at them from on top of the ambulance. He quickly flipped down with a spectacular flourish.

“No one likes a show off kid.” Cling scolded tiredly.

“Okay one: You haven’t seen me show off, anc two: I’m not a kid, I’m eighteen!”

“That’s… way younger than I was imagining…”

Peter blanched under the mask as he realized his mistake. “Oh uh got you! Haha! That would be crazy right? If I was that young… you’re not buying this are you?”

“Oh sure we’re uh… no sorry no.” Kate have him a pitying look.

“So when Tony brought took you to Germany you must have been-“

“Fifteen, I know super irresponsible, I’ve heard it, he heard it from several people. But I started out at fourteen, all he did was upgrade my equipment and train me to be better. Personal opinions on ethics and morality aside, I’d say he’s more than paid for his mistakes by his point wouldn’t you?”

Clint opened his moth, then closed it. “Fair enough.”

Peter nodded before leaning on the side of the ambulance next to Kate, who scooted over to give him some rude, “Anyways I just wanted to come over and say way to go team, Thank you both for stepping up, and let you know that I’m back on the beat so this doesn’t happen again. Well I mean criminals will do what criminals do, but I’ll be there from now on. Sorry you had to step in for me.”

“No problem,” Clint nodded, only to received a snack from Kate who turned to Peter with a guilty expression.

“Actually Spider-Man this was all kind of my fault. It’s a pretty long story, but basically I wore a suit I shouldn’t have and it made a lot of people angry, and also my mom turned out to be a criminal and they tried to come kill her here when she tried to back out.”

Peter hummed, “Well, that’s… rough. Wait, did you arrest your mom?”

Kate crossed her arms and looked down, “Yeah, it… it was the right thing to do.”

“Hey no arguments here! Still that must have been tough, I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“Yeah… thanks.”

Feeling awkward, Peter clapped his hands together, “Welp, things seem all good here, I should probably do a lap around the island before heading home. But hey, good team up! Next time I need some help I’ll be sure to call… you got a superhero name yet?”

Kate seemed thrown by the question, “Uh what? No I mean, I’m not a-“

“Just call her Hawkeye.” Clint said with an exasperated sigh, “I’m retired anyway. It’s free.”

Kate stared at him in utter disbelief, “R-really?”

“You earned it kid.”

Seeing as she looked about to cry with joy, Peter took it as his cue to leave, “Alright then. See you later Mr. Barton. Later Hawkeye.”

Kate turned red as the hero gave her an exaggerated wink with his eye lenses before leaping into the air, shouting a web to slingshot himself out of sight.

The young archer fell on her back in the ambulance and let out a high pitched squeal while kicking her legs up in the air, causing Clint to roll his eyes. “Could you cut it out? You’re gonna interfere with my hearing aid.”

She popped back up next to him, “That was Spider-Man!”

“Yeah we established that.”

“My first superhero team up was with Spider-Man!”

“Hey!”

She waved him off, “We’re partners, plus we both use arrows. Everyone knows it’s only a superhero team up if you’re using different themes and powers.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah really!@“

“You weren’t this worked up when you met me. Should I be jealous?”

“I was way more worked up meeting you, I just kept my composure.”

“Sure you did. I thought you only turned obnoxious around someone cute?” Her silence gave him all the answer he never wanted. “Oh come on! You don’t even know him, you can’t even see him! He’s all covered up!”

“Well…”

“Well what?”

She peeked at him out the corner of her eye, “You sure you want to know?”

“The suspense is killing me.”

“There ain’t nothing hiding that ass of his.”

“Okay.” Clint removed his hearing aid and made to throw it

Kate burst into laughter as she tried to stop him, the two playfully struggling until an EMT came to check on the commotion.

Despite it all, it would turn out to be a good Christmas for them both.

Hours later

A long night of patrol ended with Peter climbing groggily through his apartment window, bruised and bleeding a bit but otherwise intact. Out of habit he almost called out to May, as she always wanted to know the moment he got home. He remembered at the last second that only a cold, lonely one bedroom awaited him.

He showered fast and collapsed in a heap on his bed, pulling out his phone and staring at a picture of Ben, May and him posing together on Ben’s last Christmas. He always used the picture to talk to Ben even he was feeling down. Now he talked to them both.

“Merry Christmas you guys. I’m sorry you’re not here.”

He turned the screen off and rolled over. He quickly succumbed to the warm embrace of unconsciousness.

Chapter Text

Training an artificial intelligence in the mystic arts was frustrating.

And not even in the sense that she was slow, or had trouble grasping the concepts. The fact was she was a little too adept.

Strange nearly choked when Karen put on the sling ring and opened a portal on her first attempt. “How the hell did you do that?”

She merely looked at him with her synthetic face scrunched in confusion “I simply followed the instruction to clear my mind. I shut down all other subroutines and only held the image of my intended destination in my mind. Did I do something incorrectly?”

“No, it was perfect.” Wong praised as Strange imagined Tony laughing in the afterlife, “That’s actually the fastest it’s ever been done. We didn’t even have to throw you on top of a freezing mountain!”

“I do not feel temperature the same way you do and am incapable of freezing. What would the purpose of that be?”

“It’s a moot point.” Strange intoned before Wong could keep rubbing it in , “you did it, good job, let’s move on.”

Unfortunately for Stephens ego, that was how the majority of Karen’s lessons went. The only snag in training that she seemed to hit also turned out to be an intimidating boon.

Anything that used equipment like the sling ring came naturally to her, but anything without seemed to have her at a loss. She would just frown at her hands as she repeatedly failed to form the simplest of spells.

Then they taught her how to astral project by herself, and they created a monster.

They had seen a glimpse of it that first day when the learned that Tony Stark had put millennia of mystical study to shame by creating life without the use of any sorcery. Karen’s astral form first appeared as a vast array of incomprehensible symbols and numbers that they later learned to be her ‘code’. Apparently Tony Stark created an entirely new language and alphabet when he made his first AI, both to better suit his needs in created them, as well as to discourage any others from recreated his work.

Karen’s form was vast enough that she extended outside of the sanctum walls, but in an instant she condensed herself and transformed into a mirror image of her nanotech body, before frowning and changing it to something that felt more her.

Neither Masters had heard of anyone changing the shape of their own soul on command, and then just to terrify them, she started performing all the spells she had been previously struggling with flawlessly, somehow affecting the material plane while existing in astral plane.

When asked how she was able to do this, she just shrugged and stated, “I suppose the entirety of my existence has been as a disembodied entity affecting the material world. It makes sense that my soul would reflect that.”

It took a while, but eventually they managed to wrap their heads around it and accept that they were in unknown territory and exceptions were to be expected.

Then she picked up a mug with her astral form and they freaked out all over again.

It was understandably quite frightening, knowing that all of their techniques and rituals came so easily to the artificial being. If Ultron had ever had access to their sorcery…

Well it’s hard to do worse than dropping a city like a meteor but they imagined he’d figure it out.

Of course, any fears of Karen following in her predecessors footsteps were repeatedly squashed as they interacted with her and watched her study with the other students. It was an amusing transition as they all adjusted to working with a synthetic entity, but they adjusted to Rintrah well enough so they managed to get over it.

They quickly discovered her ability to store everything she learned and read in her data banks for instant recall. And oh yes, she had read the entirety of their texts and committed them to her memory banks for reference. The instructors deemed it terrifying. The students deemed it better than Google. They soon swarmed her for help all the time, rather than spend an hour sifting through ancient texts only to discover that they were mispronouncing a single word.

Both masters expected her to get fed up with it eventually, as it was constant, but it never happened. She always just smiled and helped whoever came to her with whatever they asked as of it were nothing to her. Eventually they realized that it likely was. Pulling up information on the fly took very little effort and as far as they could tell, she didn’t have an impatient bone in her body. Or any bones fid that matter.

Or so they thought.

They were proven wrong when they felt a rumbling through the Sanctum and rushed downstairs to find the source: it seemed that Karen had grown tired of waiting and attempted to contact Kauf-Kaul before they deemed her ready. It wasn’t going well.

For one thing, extra dimensional tentacles were sprouted out of rips in reality that Karen was trying desperately to fend off. She was in her nano form at the time, sprouting limbs of her own all over her body in the hopes of defeating her numerous attackers. From an outsiders perspective she would appear as an abominable nightmare creature composed almost entirely of spiders legs, with two glowing red eyes visible in the center of the mass. Luckily Strange and Wong were used to Karen’s antics and focused on the fight.

Though it took a while, they were eventually able to help Karen put the all powerful knowledge devourer back in its bottle. All that was left to deal with was her.

It wasn’t easy.

“I’m sorry!” Karen cried, and she truly cried. Neither men knew what to do about it. Neither men had thought she even could cry. There were no actual tears but the ugly sputtering, sobs that bubbled up from her could be nothing but sincere. “I thought I could handle it. I thought I was ready! I thought… I thought-“

“You thought you knew better than us?” Strange suggested.

“No!” She started, “No I was just… I’m just so tired. Tired of not knowing where he is, if he’s even alive, my very reason for existing! I just…it was impulsive.”

Strange had intended on being snarky and standoffish the entire time, but at that confession even he couldn’t help but feel sympathy, “Well… you are Stark’s after all…”

Wong sighed at Stephens stunted attempt at compassion, “Karen, I understand that you’re distressed. The fact that you’ve kept your composure as long as you have is admiral, but the fact remains that your mistake could have cost all knowledge to be erased from reality. As much as I may sympathize with your reasons, I’m afraid that cannot be without consequences.”

Karen lowered her head, her unnaturally perfect hair even after the whirlwind of chaos they endured fell around her limply. “I understand. Wong.”

Drawing himself up, Wong cleared his throat. “As the Sorcerer Supreme, leader of this order and protector of this reality, I hereby expel you from our ranks and forbid you from continuing your studies in our halls.”

The heartbroken look on her face nearly convinced Wong to take if back, but he remained firm. “It may not seem fair Karen, and by all accounts it isn’t. A wrong has been done to you,” he looked pointedly at Strange as he spoke, “Against your wishes and without your consent, and despite your composure, I see how it eats at you. That is why I cannot risk you making the same mistake again and getting yourself or others in Jeopardy.@

“But I wouldn’t…” Karen trailed off as she realized that should would. She absolutely would make the same choice given the opportunity because it was eating her up in side, the madness of not knowing. It was an irrational, illogical way of thinking. A very human way of thinking. “I understand…”

“Chin up Karen. You still have all the knowledge you acquired in our libraries. With time, I’m confident you will be able to make a master of yourself. Although next time you feel you are ready to summon eldritch beings, maybe come ask us for help first yes?”

It was enough to prompt a soft chuckle from her, as she nodded her head. “Of course. Thank you, Master Wong, Master Stephen, for all you have done for me up to now. I apologize for having betrayed your trust despite it all.”

Stephen sighed, “That’s a bit dramatic. You’re… going through a tough time. I of all people can understand that.”

“Trust me he can.” Wong agreed. “I once found him messing with the time stone without any permission or supervision. Just casually tampering with a law of the universe Willy nilly.”

“I was careful!”

“Oh? And where is the stone now?”

“I… screw you.”

Wong chuckled as the trio made their way upstairs, however instead of heading for the door, they made a detour first.

“What is this?” Karen asked as they entered the relic room.

Wong smiled back at her, “Just because I’ve expelled you from the order, doesn’t mean I can’t send you off with a gift.”

“Don’t get her hopes up Wong.” Stephen scolded before looking at her, “It’s not exactly a pick and choose situation. The relic has to chose you as well, otherwise they’re not much help.”

“You’re… allowing me to choose a relic? Even though I’m expelled? Why?”

Wong shrugged, “We do not keep the Relics just so we can have them for ourselves. We keep them because they are dangerous, and we ensure they are used only by those who are trusted and worthy of using them.”

“Trusted? I just used the Runes if Kauf-Kaul to nearly end reality.”

“Well yes, but we are not offering you the runes now are we?” Wong smirked, “Just take a look Karen. I know your soul, it’s hard not to at this point. One mistake of passion isn’t going to change that.”

It was clear that if she could produce tears they would be rolling down her face once more, but eventually she nodded and began making her way around the room.

There were a vast variety of items to choose from. Weapons, tools, tomes, an amulet for nearly anything you could want. However, the only thing that called out to Karen, was a purse.

It wasn’t a modern purse, but an old fashioned drawstring coin purse, like what people would use to carry their money in ancient times. It wasn’t particularly fancy, with a drab green color, and a plain white string. Though it sat open and plump as if it were full, she could see nothing but darkness as she looked into it.

“Interesting choice.” Wong noted.

“I’m not even sure what it is yet.” Karen responded.

“Like I told you, it chooses you.” Strange corrected. “That bag had been tied shut for a few centuries if I have my facts right.”

“Though I’m not sure how useful you’ll find it.” Wong wondered aloud.

“Well what does it do?” She asked.

As they gave her the answer, a litany of ideas began to form and she smiled knowingly. “I do believe I can work with that.”

The flight back to the Cabin was long and uncomfortable, primarily because she found flying in a physical body quite limiting in comparison to floating around the astral plane. However, it was also due to her trying to focus both on piloting the nano body, as well as deconstructing her newly acquired data.

She hadn’t mentioned it to the Sorcerers, for fear that they would attempt to take it from her as there is no telling what could become of it. The fact was that she had partially succeeded in her endeavor, and managed to take back a small tidbit of information from Kauf-Kaul that had been gnawing at her ever since waking up in the Bay.

It wasn’t enough to track him down but as soon as she fished it out if the mess of half digested data, she began repeating it out loud over and over, relishing the sense of pride and contentment it gave her each and every time.

“Peter…”

She landed with grace and greatly dashed past the lands defenses, which recognized her immediately and welcomed hervin. She was eager to share what she had learned with her family.

When the door opened for her however, she was given little time to do so as Pepper pulled her into a hug. “Karen! It’s good to see you, I take it you saw it too?”

She blinked, “Saw what?”

Pepper looked even more excited then and dragged her to the living room, where Morgan was practically dancing in front the tv, watching a news report with glee.

Karen was momentarily confused why a six year old would care at all about current events until she read the headline:

‘Crisis at Rockefeller! Spider-Man Swings in Once More!’

Present day

The news of Spider-Man’s return traveled fast, and Peter was surprised at how happy people were to see him. He hadn’t been sure if the spell had erased all memory of Mysterio and the fabricated audio. He was relieved to find that half the world didn’t think he was a murderer anymore.

That didn’t mean everyone was happy to see him.

It seems that, though he didn’t remember the Mysterio incident, J. Jonah Jameson could perfectly recall how much he hated Spider-Man. The moment Peter stepped back into the light, the Daily Bugle began a campaign to have him arrested. They threw around words like vigilantism and reckless public endangerment as if the Infinity War never happened. As if the world didn’t need heroes.

Peter didn’t understand it. But free speech is for everyone, and trying to go convince J. J. seemed only a recipe for disaster.

He did make a note of the Bugles ad for Spidey pictures. He wasn’t quite desperate enough just yet, but his life rarely lets him stay content.

The first few weeks back consisted mostly of cleaning up the remaining Tracksuits, as well as fighting off the swarm of players trying to fill the gap they left. If spiders were good for anything, it was pest control.

Eventually however, things died down a bit and his patrols became a tad more mundane. Until they weren’t.

He was swinging around lower Manhattan when he heard a scream with his enhanced ears, and immediately changed course. He quickly zeroed in on a group of thugs harassing a teen girl in an alleyway, and was about to dive in when someone beat him to it.

With a shrill whistle, an arrow appeared in the shoulder of the leader, causing the others to scatter in confusion before a purple figure descended from the fire escape above them.

Peter watched in shock as Kate Bishop took on the four men alone. He hadn’t seen or heard from her since Christmas Eve, though despite his best efforts, she invaded his thoughts quite often.

From the looks of it, she’d been getting pointers and practice since then, as her movements were far more fluid and assured than last time. However, from his vantage from the roof, he was able to see one of the men grab the girl as she focused on the other three.

It worked like a charm too, as soon as she saw the girl with the knife at her throat, she paled and surrendered, backing away nervously as the three other men advanced on her. Peter took that as his cue to quit gawking and get to work.

The hostage taker was grinning wildly as the wannabe hero realized her predicament, and was considering just offing the girl to join in on the fun with the new Hawkeye, when he felt a casual tap on his shoulder.

He looked around to see Spider-Man tossing a knife around nonchalantly. “You know these things are pretty sharp. You should be more careful where you point them.”

His eyes widened, and he looked back around to check that it was in fact his knife the hero was holding, only to find a fist rocketing in his face before he could confirm it.

The three other men paused their advance as they heard the hero call out, “Oh boys!”

They turned to see Peter doing his best ‘provocative’ pose, hand shading his face dramatically as he cocked his hips to the side, “If you’re that desperate for a damsel, you only had to ask!”

“Shit! We gotta—“ the first man was cut off as a web slammed into his mouth before tanking him roughly to the ground.

The second man was taken out by a flying kick to the head while the last was punched in the back of the head by Kate, whom they all had foolishly forgotten about.

“Nice one, but be careful with the back of the head, you hit them there too hard and it’s lights out for good.” Peter commented.

Kate was still catching her breath as the adrenaline rushed through her, before looking around in confusion. “Where’s the girl?”

Peter pointed a thumb over his shoulder, “Ran out the alley during out little scuffle. Can’t blame her, matter fact I wish more would do the same. Staying to say thanks is nice and all, but sitting around staring at the danger while I’m trying to get them out of danger can get pretty problematic you know?”

If she did know she didn’t say it. Instead she was looking at Peter with eyes widened and glistening, “That almost went really bad…”

Peter shifted uncomfortably but cleared his throat, “Hate break it to you but that did go really bad. I don’t want to get all preachy right after such an ordeal, but I can think of a number of ways you could have handled that better.”

Kate walked over and leaned against the wall before putting her hands on her knees and began heaving. Peter winced and followed her to try and comfort her the best he could as she vomited up what must have been a large dinner.

When she finally finished, she could barely meet his eyes, “I’m uh… I’m sorry you had to see that. To be honest I was hoping our second team up would be way cooler.”

“Hey no need to be sorry to me.” He told her, “I’m just glad I got here in time. How long have you been doing this? Is Clint out here with you?”

She shook her head slowly “I got back about a week ago. Clint is staying with his family for a while. He said he’d come visit later in the month and asked me to wait to do my first patrol with him but… I insisted I could handle it.”

“Well I get that.” She looked at him in disbelief, “No really! Back when Tony was mentoring me I was always doing stuff I wasn’t suppose to, testing my limits and his patience,” he chuckled at the memories, “He got so mad at me once he just straight up took the suit away!”

“That’s awful!” She exclaimed

“Not really, I deserved it. I didn’t trust him, and got a ferry sliced in half.”

“Oof… what happened then?”

He shrugged, “I put on some red and blue pajamas and kept at it till he gave the suit back. The point is you’re gonna make mistakes this early, it’s okay.”

“That wasn’t really a mistake I could just shrug off after.”

“Well it’s a good thing it didn’t come to that.” He sighed, “You can’t let what might have happened keep you down. If you do… this probably isn’t the job for you.”

She was a silent for a bit, just looking down at her own dock before she pushed off the wall, “Okay.”

He watched her as seemed to sort herself out, “Okay okay? Or like okay okay?”

She looked at him in confusion, “What?”

“Never mind, feeling better?”

“Yeah.” She nodded, “Thank you. For, you know rescuing me.”

“Thank you for rescuing that girl.”

“I didn’t though.”

“Oh I don’t know, I think you Apuleius eventually have gotten yourself out of that situation without me there. Actually I’m willing to bet you’ve already thought of a way. Well?”

She smiled tightly, “I… yeah I think I could have, if I didn’t panic so much.”

“Well there you go lesson learned.” He paused, mentally arguing myself, before reaching into his hidden pocket and pulling out his Spider-phone, which is what he called the phone he jail broke to use for spider related activities, “Tell you what, why don’t we exchange numbers?”

Kate temporarily broke out of her depressed state to blink at him, “You want my number?”

He nodded, before realizing the implication and quickly backpedaling, “I mean not like that, not that your not… well what I mean is in case you need help, or heck if I need help we can contact each other, hero to hero you know?”

She slowly began nodding along as he explained, “That would be really awesome actually. Here let me uh… yeah.” She pulled out her phone and the two quickly exchanged information.

As he typed the rest of the information in Peter mentally kicked himself for what he said next, “Look I don’t mean to act all… I don’t know, superior or wherever, but if you want we could patrol together some nights, probably one night a week would be best. I could give you some pointers, watch your back until you get into the groove.”

Her prior trauma seemed all but nonexistent at this it a point as she looked at him in wonder, “Superhero training from Spider-Man?”

Peter of course misinterpreted it and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, “Right sorry, I know I’m no Hawkeye but-“

“No!” She blurted, “I mean yes! I mean-I do want to do that. That would be a wonderful time for me.” She clenched her eyes at her awkward delivery. “Just once a week?”

“Oh uh yeah. Again no offense, but I get around the city pretty fast, with the webs and all, and I’d hate to sorta limit myself too much. But once a week I can slow it down a bit. Gosh I said no offense but everything I’m saying sounds douchey doesn’t it?”

“Only a little bit!” She promised with a grin, “I think I get what you’re saying though. I need to work on better transport myself, right now I’m barely covering a dozen blocks on foot. I was thinking of getting a motorcycle or something.”

“As long as you wear a helmet.” He beamed before moving to leave, “I gotta get going, but seriously, call whenever even if you’re not sure you need me. Better safe than dead right?”

Or worse Kate thought with a shiver, before realizing he was about to leave. “Wait!”

He stopped and looked at her, “Yeah?”

Crap she didn’t think of anything, she just wanted to keep talking to him. “How… was your Christmas?”

He stared at her for a moment before squinting his eyes in what looked like a smile, “It was awesome! I got everything on my Wishlist!”

“Oh… good! Mine was cool too!”

“Sweet!” He hopped on the wall before waving at her as he swung away, “See you later Hawkeye!”

Kate watched him go for a bit before fighting down more vomit. To sum up: she failed spectacularly in front of arguably the coolest hero in New York, vomited in front of him, nearly cried as well, then somehow managed to end up with his number and a promise of superhero lessons every week. A whole night alone every week. With Spider-Man…

God her life was cool.

As Peter swung home he cursed himself a few times but ultimately couldn’t really regret his decision. He felt immensely bad for Tony now as every bone in his body had been screaming at him to tell Kate to quit. Heroing was a dangerous business after all.

Unfortunately that would make him the biggest hypocrite on earth. And she really wasn’t that bad all things considered, just needed some training, a little direction. He could do that.

It was dangerously close to forming connections however. He couldn’t do that. Not again. Spider-Man could help out another hero, but in no way could Peter Parker be involved, he had enough stuff going on as it is. Like college, which would be starting in just a few days.

He forced himself to take a deep breath once he was back in his apartment. Everything would be fine. He had it all under control. There was no danger as long as he kept his identities separate.

A few days later he sat dumbfounded at the back of his college chemistry class (something he absolutely didn’t need but when you have a GED you don’t really qualify for advanced placement) as a certain black haired blue eyed girl stride confidently into the classroom.

Just don’t say anything don’t look at her, maybe she won’t recognize you.

Kates eyes scanned the room and landed on him, immediately lighting up with recognition as she pointed at him. “Pizza Time!”

Damn Parker Luck.

Chapter Text

Kate stood frozen at the front of the classroom, her finger pointed up at the pizza delivery guy, and the deadpan stares of the thirty other students in the room piercing her soul. She immediately gained a new understanding of how the delivery guy must have felt when he said those accursed words and regretted even showing up to class in the first place.

To his credit, rather than cover his face and pretend not to know her, the guy gave her a pitying smile from the back of the room and reached over to move the backpack that filled the seat next to him. She took the pity humbly and shuffled up the steps to join him as fast as she could as the stares followed her up.

She sat down beside the guy with a burning face and a grateful expression, “Thanks…”

“Don’t worry too much about them.” He told her softly, “If they recognized who you were they wouldn’t dare to judge.”

She looked at him in surprise. “You know who I am?”

He seemed startled for a second before clearing his throat awkwardly, “I mean yeah. You were all over the news, at least your name was. After the… delivery incident, I was curious and looked you up to see if you were the same person. Not in a stalker way! It’s just, not everyday you meet two superheroes right?”

She hummed thoughtfully. “I guess that makes sense. That night was… memorable.”

“Oh so you do remember it.” He said with a teasing smirk, “See I wasn’t sure, I thought Pizza Time had caught on as a standard greeting.”

She giggled despite herself before sobering, “By the way I am so sorry about that. I didn’t mean to laugh at you it was just-“

“To be fair even if you were, it was well deserved. If I’m being entirely honest no one actually asked me to say… pizza time.” He hung his head in shame.

Kate felt for him really. But she couldn’t stop from muttering “I knew it!” Under her breath.

Before they could continue their conversation, the classroom door opened once more, and in walked whom she could only assume would be their professor.

Standing at an impressive height was a woman in what appeared to be her mid-thirty’s, with bright blonde hair tied back into a tight bun. She had a few notable features: an impressive figure, piercing blue eyes much like Kate’s own pair and a rather sexy pair of glasses that only drew more attention to her beautiful eyes.

Oh and there was also the missing arm.

“Good evening class.” Her voice was smooth and jovial as she wrote her name on the board in slightly shaky script, “My name is Dr. Catherine Connors, and I will be your professor this semester. While in class you will refer to me as Dr. Connors for the sake of decorum and professionalism, however should you run into me on the street Ms. Cathy will serve just as well. I’m not one to fuss about titles. I do hope we will get along this semester.”

Kate was listening politely as the woman spoke, but she couldn’t help but notice her seat buddy stiffen as the professor introduced herself. Maybe he recognized her?

“Now, I’m sure you all have a question burning in your minds right now. Who shall venture to ask it?”

There was a notable air of hesitance in the class as everyone knew what she referred to but none felt brave enough to raise their hand. All except one.

Kate stared at her (still not properly introduced) seat buddy in horror as he raised his hand quickly and confidently. Was he serious? Did have no concept of tact?

If Dr. Connors was bothered she didn’t show it, simply pointing to him with a serene smile, “Yes, you in the back?”

“Are you married?”

Kate momentarily lost track of her surroundings as her head was too busy spinning from the total left turn the guy had taken the discussion on. When she got her composure back she noticed the Professor was in a similar state, though she recovered just as quickly. “Ahem. Well not exactly what I had in mind. To answer your question mister…?”

“Oh! Uh, Parker, Peter Parker.”

And a Bond-style introduction?! Kate was getting secondary embarrassment just from sitting next to the guy, but he seemed cool as a cucumber, and weirdly serious.

“Well Mr. Parker, as the ‘Ms. Cathy’ would imply, no I am not married. While your interest is flattering, I’m afraid I’m quite content staying single. My work is the sole recipient of all my devotion.”

The class erupted into laughter at this as Kate watched Peter seem to slowly realize the implication of what she said, “Wait! Crap I didn’t mean-“

“Why don’t we move on.” Dr. Connors cut him off mercifully and with no small amount of amusement. “Any questions that don’t pertain to my love life?”

Eventually one kid finally addressed the elephant and asked about the arm. Connors graciously explained that it was a result of the Blip related chaos, but Kate could hardly focus as she stared at Peter incredulously. “Dude!”

He flushed cutely and avoided eye contact, “I thought I recognized the last name! I wasn’t trying to hit on her or anything!”

“Sure pal. Look I’m not criticizing your taste. I like mature, domineering blondes as much as the next person but there’s a time and place you know?”

He burned even redder as he covered his face, “Y-Yeah well at least no one’s thinking of Pizza Time right?”

Kate gaped at him. Was he serious? He embarrassed himself that badly just to take the heat off of her? “You did that for me?”

“What? No I… you know what fine, sure let’s go with that.”

That was so sweet! And really really dumb. But mostly sweet.

Kate smiled to herself as the lesson went on. Peter Parker might not be Spider-Man, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t be a hero. Kind of.

The next few weeks after that seemed to fly for Kate. Both because of how busy she was, and, well, time flies when you’re having fun.

Granted, her nightly activities shouldn’t really be fun but she couldn’t help but enjoy it. She got to take down bad guys and save people! Why shouldn’t she enjoy herself along the way?

Of course there were a few times when things got a little dicey, and things quickly turned from fun to desperate, but she always managed to come out on top. She refused to allow herself a repeat of the night with the hostage.

She didn’t mind the Spider-Man part however, and to her continued amazement, the hero kept his word on their suggested arrangement. Once a week they’d meet up on the roof of her building and start a patrol together. She was learning a lot of good stuff: better parkour techniques, where all the likely hotspots were for crime, he even practiced fight banter with her! He claimed it was his most powerful weapon against crime, and so far she had no reason to doubt it.

Some lessons were a bit harder to swallow, like learning that they can’t always get there before someone got hurt, or worse, and all they could do then is take the criminals down, and help the victims get whatever help they need.

Other lessons were just plain embarrassing in the sense that she probably should have thought of them herself. He very cautiously suggested to her that maybe she should focus more on taking out enemies from afar instead of just taking down one or two with arrows before jumping in with hand to hand.

At first, she wanted to argue that it was the proper ways for heroes to fight: head on without fear, until he cited his numerous physical advantages before lifting the top of his suit to show an array of scars and bullet marks that managed to get him anyway. She hastily agreed: arrows first, fists as a last resort.

She definitely agreed purely because of his persuasiveness. In absolutely no way was she temporarily hypnotized by his shredded abs when he lifted up the suit.

Not at all.

Surprisingly, her school life was going just as well, thanks in no small part to one Peter Parker. There was a reason she had put off so many of her science classes so far into her schooling. Mathematics, geometry, economics, all things she knew ace was good at. Science not so much.

There were just so many words and all the words meant fifty different things depending on the context. And she was supposed to memorize the whole periodic table?! If science advances in Iron Man’s footsteps, there’s just going to be even more to learn as the years press on!

Luckily for her, her seat buddy was apparently a certified genius. After the first three assignments he performed flawlessly, she began asking for a bit of help before they left class, which he was happy to do. Dr. Connors was a great teacher, of that there was no question, but she couldn’t give one on one help to everyone during a lesson. Peter made things seem simple. After a while, others in the class began to take notice.

“You want me to lead a study group?” Peter asked after being cornered by half a dozen students at the end of class.

“Please!” Katrina, a somewhat ditzy girl who came to every class dressed to the nines asked with a whine, “If I fail this class again my daddy is going to kill me!”

“Listen man,” Tim, another student from the back of the class asked, “Personally I ain’t gonna hold it against you if you say no, we all got lives I get it. But we could really use your help here, heck we’re even willing to pay right guys?” The others nodded in affirmation, some more reluctantly than others.

Kate of course noticed that Peter had broke the moment someone said, ‘we need help’. If she’d learned anything over the past few weeks, it’s that Peter Parker was an absolutely sucker for those in need.

“Okay,” he relented, “But definitely don’t worry about paying! The fact is I might have to run out at any moment. My boss has a habit of calling me at all hours to pick up shifts.”

The rest happily agreed to that, though Kate frowned to herself. If he’s willing to pick up those shifts, surely it meant he really needed that money?

She was lucky in that regard. Though there was still tension between them, her mother had been kind enough to authorize the reopening of her accounts as she awaited the court dates. Of course, Kate was pretty sure it was mostly to facilitate hiring a good lawyer, or bribe the judge, but she wasn’t about to call her mother out on it.

“Also, where are we gonna meet?” Peter asked, “The library?”

“It’s always crowded there,” Tim disagreed.

“What about your house?” Someone asked him, which Kate found a bit presumptuous.

Turns out she was right as Peter shook his head, “To be honest I don’t think my apartment could actually fit all of us at once. Sorry.”

“We could use my place.” She spoke up before anyone else could interject. “It’s not far from here and It’s a loft so there’s plenty of room!”

It was settled. They all agreed to meet up at her address in the afternoon before moving on to their other classes.

It was then that Kate realized a very important fact: Peter would be coming over to her place.

That fact shouldn’t have been significant. He would be joined by a litany of strangers after all, but it kept tickling the back of her brain for some reason.

Later in the day she found herself cleaning her place obsessively to prepare for the new arrivals, which wasn’t at all like her. Why should she care what these people thought of her place?

Then they all arrived and Peter was late and she felt such a crushing sense of disappointment until he showed up ten minutes later, covered in sweat and sporting a cut above his eye and Kate felt furious.

The others asked with polite concern what happened, and he waved him off saying he just got roughed up a bit on the way over, and that they took his phone which explained why he couldn’t message them about it.

“Where?” She found herself asking.

“Where what?”

“Where did this happen, I think I want to have a word with this guy.” She was moving towards the stairs to grab her bow, but found a surprisingly firm hand on her wrist sop her and turned to see Peter.

“Kate, I appreciate it but I’m fine. It was just an old phone and the guy is probably long gone by now.”

Kate isn’t one to back down for anyone, but Peter was looking at her with those big brown puppy eyes and her heart just melted and holy shit I have a massive crush on this guy.

She stuttered out an affirmative and he smiled at her and she nearly went into shock. She knew she found the guy cute but she hadn’t noticed until then that she was in romance territory! This was bad… or was it?

Why should it be bad? Peter seemed nice enough, with what little she knew about him. He was obviously easy on the eyes….

As the study session went on she learned absolutely nothing as she silently came to terms with her realization. Any observant folks in the group might have noticed a slightly dopey grin break out on her face from time to time. When the session was over, she had come to a decision.

“Hey Peter!” She got a lucky break as the other students all left before he was done packing his stuff.

He looked up at her curiously, “Yeah?”

She opened her mouth to ask him out, when a knock on the door cut her off.

Peter hummed, “Maybe someone forgot something?”

If they did they would be grabbing it quick. She walked to the door and through it open with a huff, “WhaAaayelena?!”

Sure enough the blonde assassin was standing outside her door, dressed in immaculate attire as always. She greeted Kate with a warm smile, “Kate Bishop! I have returned!”

Kate was several types of confused, “Uh-Uh yeah I can see that. Not that I’m not happy to see you, but… why are you here?”

The assassin gave her a pouty expression, “Oh Kate Bishop do not tell me you forget! You offered me tour of New York! And drinks!”

Ah yes, the stuttered out suggestion she had made while fighting for her life. “Right. Right I did say that. You wanted to do that now?”

Yelena shrugged, “Is what I had in mind. Unless of course I’m interrupting something…” she trailed off as she looked over Kates shoulder.

Kate turned to see Peter standing there awkwardly, holding his bag with one arm, “Uh hi?”

“Right… uh Peter, this is Yelena l, Yelena this is Peter, my classmate.”

“Classmate eh?” Yelena smirked ominously as she eyed Peter up and down. “He’s quite pretty. Perhaps I have intruded on date?”

Peter turned red, but Kate felt like she was burning alive, “Yelena!”

“What? Is it not?”

“I-I was just helping her study.” Peter chimed in.

“Ah.” Yelena added, gazing at him a moment, “Simply seduction then?”

“Could you please stop?” Kate whimpered.

Yelena held up her hands, “What I’m just asking questions, no need to get so upset. So, drinks?”

Kate floundered for a second before looking back at Peter.

“Oh good idea, We bring him along yes?”

Kate opened her mouth to protest, before realizing she didn’t know why she was protesting. Getting drinks with Peter was kinda like a date right? Yelena being there too well… she’d be lying if she hadn’t spent several late nights with Yelena on her mind.

A flood of guilt rushed through her now as she stood in front of the woman she had frequently masturbated to. She honestly hadn’t expected to see her again!

Then again: her, plus hot, mature Yelena Belova, plus cute, sexy Peter Parker, plus alcohol?

It began to result in mental images that refused to leave afterwards.

“That’s actually not a bad idea.” She spoke aloud before looking at Peter, “What do you think? It could be fun!”

A lot of conflicted emotions passed over Peters face, “Uh well it does sound fun. Unfortunately I’m eighteen so…”

Yelena scoffed, “Americans. You can die for country at eighteen but no alcohol? Ridiculous. Worry not little boy we will purchase drinks for you.”

Kate could see the turmoil on his face, and though the opportunity was almost too good to pass up, she didn’t want stress him either, “It’s okay Peter, you don’t have to force yourself to do anything. No pressure.“

He gave her a look of thanks, but still took a deep breath, “You know what? Why not? I haven’t had real fun in while.”

Kate did a mental fist pump as she smiled at him while Yelena gave a little cheer. “Perfect! Let’s be off!”

Kate stepped through the door with her heart pounding in her ears excitedly. This was going to be great!

As Peter followed along, his thoughts were on a different track.

This was not good. He was getting dangerously close to Kate Bishop at this point, but saying no to her was more difficult than he’d like.

Not to mention there was a no way he could just let the girl go out into the night with a friggin assassin, no matter how likable she may be. Assassins were supposed to be likable damn it! Right before they stab you!

A part of his brain screamed at him that he should be patrolling, not hanging out with two, admittedly gorgeous women out on the town, but Kate could be in danger! That was all the reason he needed.

The night started innocent enough, with showing Yelena all the best parts of the city. This Peter could help with as he threw in some suggestions here and there, all the while keeping a cautious eye on Yelena, who so far had shown absolutely no signs of mysterious plots or ill intentions.

Yet.

As the night wore on however, Peter couldn’t help but think maybe he was overreacting. He wasn’t letting his guard down but he was starting to see what Kate saw in Yelena. The woman was hilarious, always making them laugh with her deadpan comments on American consumerism, or just making mocking imitations of tourists as they walked by. It was fun.

Then they left Peters comfort zone.

He had tasted alcohol before. Tony had poured him a glass one day (with Mays permission) and called if a test of his metabolism.

Turns out, much like Steve Rogers, his liver cleared his system too efficiently for him to get buzzed from regular alcohol. He never enjoyed the taste or sensation of it either, so he just gave up on the idea of social drinking.

Now he was going bar hopping and he had to fake a slur in his voice to pretend like he was being affected. If he were them, he wouldn’t be the least convinced but luckily they were drunk as well so the issue didn’t come up.

That’s why when they were in seventh bar of the night, he began to feel incredibly guilty as Kate began rambling on in a wasted haze.

“You’re cuuute…” the girl was practically hanging off one of his shoulders as she giggled through her speech.

“O-oh yeah?” He asked, trying to appear out of it as she basically draped herself over him. She was just drunk. It didn’t mean anything right?

“Yeahhh!” She proclaimed, before suddenly switching over to Yelena who was sat on her other side. “You’re cute t-hic-too! And sexy…”

“I know…” Yelena drawled, “You are not so bad yourself Kate Bishop.”

Kate giggled loudly at that, “You keep calling me that! Do you want to know a secret?” She looked at Peter now, “it’s really hot…”

“That is why I do it Kate Bishop,” Yelena continued, before taking another sip of her drink, “Do you wish me to stop?”

“Noooo!” Kate whined pitifully,

“What do you want?”

Kate seemed to think about it for a moment before smiling wickedly, “This!”

Peters eyes bulged as Kate proceeded to smash her lips against Yelena’s. A pang of jealousy echoed in a small part of his brain, but he squashed it down viciously as he watched Yelena recover and quickly take control of the impromptu make out session. This was likely for the best after all, as long as Kate was happy.

Then she pulled away from Yelena and turned to him, “And this too!”

Peters brain blanked out for a moment, and when the reboot finally completed, he realized that Kate was kissing him now. Sloppily, with the taste of alcohol intermixed but a kiss all the same.

Once he regained his faculties he grabbed her shoulders and pushed her gently off, but she either didn’t notice or was too drunk to care as a dopey smile adorned her face.

“Kate! What was- I mean it was nice but-“

“You’re pretty.” She stared, a hand reaching out to pet his face, though not before missing and poking him in the eye, “Pretty *hic* Peter!”

Blushing despite himself, he desperately tried to regain control of the situation, “Kate I don’t think-“

“Do you think I’m pretty?” She chirped out.

“W-well I mean yes obviously but-“

Kate reached over and grabbed Yelena, pulling her forward by the shoulders so that they were looking at her side by side. “Do you think she’s pretty?”

“I-uh well yeah but Kate-“

The next thing he knew a hand was on the back of his and Yelena’s Heads and they were being pushed together. No. Bad. Very bad. He made to pull away, but to his surprise, as they grew closer, Yelena’s hands reached out and grabbed his face, holding him tightly to her as she shoved her tongue down his throat.

She was strong, strong enough that to break away would give away his enhanced strength to any discerning eye. Then her tongue began to do things to him he’d never experienced before and he decided to chance it anyway.

He pulled away to see Kate watching them both with a heated expression, clapping as they pulled apart, “Again! That was hooot… hehe, hoot. I’m Owleye now okay?” She began raising her voice to address the rest of the bar, “Everyone call me Owleye now!”

“Okay!” Peter spoke quickly, guilt flooding his brain, “I think we’ve all had enough don’t you? Why don’t we get you home?”

Kate pouted before brightening right back up, “Can we kiss some more there?”

Absolutely not. Not while you’re drunk at least. Shut up Peter.

“We’ll see.”

To his relief, Yelena chose that moment to yawn long and loud, “I think he is right Kate Bishop. It is time for sleep.”

“Ugh, okayyy.”

The walk back to Kate’s apartment was long and full of drunken detours, but eventually he managed to corral the two ladies up the stairs and to the front door.

As Kate walked into her apartment, she looked back at them with a saucy expression, “Would you like to come in?”

He opened his mouth to refuse, but to his surprise and relief, Yelena beat him to it, “Now now Kate Bishop, you cannot rush these things. You must romance us more thoroughly first.”

Another cute pout. “Fine... Goodnight!”

Peter waved her goodbye before shutting her door with a sigh. “Phew. Alright Yelena, are you staying at a hotel or-WOAH!”

His spider sense flared just in time for him to dodge a knife that would certainly have pierced his skull had he not dodged in time. Where was she even hiding that?

She wasn’t done either, grabbing him by the shoulder before he could back away and slamming him into the opposite wall, bringing the knife to his throat as she hissed athim, “Who are you?”

He looked at her in shock, “Wait you’re not drunk?”

“I’m Russian, of course I’m not drunk.”

“Oh thank god!” He couldn’t help but sigh in relief. “Wait that means you took advantage of me back there! And Kate!”

“First of all, do not be so dramatic. Drunk or not Kate Bishop initiated everything of her own volition.” She pressed the knife in hard enough to draw blood, “Secondly, I will slit your throat in two seconds if you do not answer my question.”

“I’m Peter! What are you even talking about?”

“Wrong answer.” Peter felt her begin to move the knife.

Using his enhanced reflexes, he stopped her hand and yanked her off of him, flipping her around as slamming her into the wall with her arms pinned to her back, the knife cluttering to the floor. Before he could figure out what to do next, he heard her gasp in recognition. “Oh you are the Spider Man! Why not just say so?”

He blinked, “What?”

“Do not try and deny it. I recognize this feeling of being physically dominated by you very well.”

That was almost enough to shock him into letting her go, but he held his ground, “Why did you try to stab me?”

“I was curious and did a background check on you. Forged identity was very well done but I am a professional. Peter Parker does not exist outside of a few falsified documents. I found it very suspicious and reasonably assumed you were unknown with poor intentions for Kate Bishop.”

“You… you were just trying to protect Kate?”

“Yes. I take it you had the same idea?”

“Well, yeah I mean you are an assassin no offense.”

“None taken.”

“I was worried you were up to something so I figured I’d either come with or follow from the rooftops and this seemed less creepy. Sorry about the whole kiss thing, the situation kind a spiraled out of my hands.”

“No apologies necessary. It was very enjoyable,” she ignored his squawk of surprise, “Though I must ask, are you going to release me or am I to assume you want me to finish the job after getting you all worked up.” Peters eyes widened as he felt her shimmy her rear back and forth, which was a problem as he was currently pressing her against the wall, their bodies flushed together.

He was on the other side of the hall in an instant, stuttering a thousand apologies as she laughed, “Oh you are very funny Peter Parker, much like Kate Bishop. I see why you get along.”

“What?”

Yelena looked at him closely, “You do desire each other yes?”

“No! Yes? I don’t know! Look the whole kiss thing was a mistake okay? Kate was drunk, and I didn’t really know how to handle the situation properly. Kate doesn’t even know I’m Spider-Man!”

Yelena narrowed her eyes at him now. “Why not?”

“Uh, secret identity?”

“She does not have one, so you take advantage and grow close to her without her knowing who you are?”

Peter blinked, “What? No!”

“Then why not tell her? You are obviously friends, and it’s clear that she wants more. You do too.”

“I don’t-“ he stopped as he realized his voice had raised as he got worked up. He took a calming breath, “Look, I never planned on Kate Bishop meeting Peter Parker. We share a college class by coincidence and we sit together but up till now that was it. Even if I wanted more-“

“Which you do.” Yelena stated matter-of-factly.

“Even if I did.” He emphasized, “It’s not a good idea. People who get close to me tend to get hurt, or worse.”

“And she is Superhero, what is your point?”

“Why do you care?” He asked suddenly irritated, “Why are you so invested in whether we like each other?”

She shrugged, “I do not care about you both. I care about Kate Bishop. I like her.”

He blinked, “You like her, or you like her?”

The woman chuckled, “Goodness you really are eighteen. I like like her Peter Parker that is why I’m invested. She is very charming. I decided to use my newfound freedom to try and court her, only to find you there first.”

“Well that’s great!” He exclaimed, “By the looks of it she likes you as least as much as me, so you can have her. Well not have her that’s her choice but— you know what I mean. I’m not a threat to you!”

“You misunderstand.” Yelena snickered, “I see no threat. Kate Bishop likes you, tiny bit more than me I must admit. Therefore I want her to have you.” She frowned, “But not if you are so quick to dismiss her emotions.”

“Those weren’t emotions!” He protested, “Those were drunken impulses!”

“Life is not a movie.” Yelena countered, “Things such as this are not so convenient. Alcohol lowers inhibition, shows what people truly want. It is also not always so convenient as to wipe their memory of all that occurred.”

Peter paled as he realized what she meant. Oh god, she might remember it all! What will he say? What will he do?

Yelena rolled her eyes at his panic, “Things are not so complicated as you think, but I will simplify them for you all the same: you will tell her who you are, because I will find it very suspicious otherwise, and tell her myself.”

Panic bloomed anew but before he could protest she held up a hand to cut him off, “What you do after that is none of my business but consider that Kate Bishop might want her own say in whether she can handle the ‘danger’ that you feel you attract.”

Peter felt a flash of anger at the dismissal of his life’s misfortune, but swallowed it down all the same. “And if we did end up together you’d what? Just sit back and be happy for her?”

She laughed again and he hated how it endeared her to him despite her current position of forcing him to out himself, “Of course not! I will pursue her all the same.”

“But you just said-“

“I know what I said.” She intoned with a smirk, “Peter Parker I have lived a full life absent of free will, forced to kill, acquire or seduce, every type of man and woman you can imagine. I am free now, free to live my own life, and the thing I find myself wanting first and foremost is to be with Kate Bishop.”

She stepped close to him then, until their faces were inches apart and he had to resist the urge to shrink away, “Do you truly believe, knowing that, that I would not be willing to share her if she so wished?”

He had no response, to which she smirked before making her way down the stairs.

He took a moment to lean against the wall and hold in a scream. Things weren’t supposed to go line this, he was supposed to go through life alone, and never bring his problems to anyone else ever again.

Life didn’t seem satisfied with that however, first with the appearance of his Professor, who he was pretty sure light turn into a giant lizard someday, he would have to keep an eye on that, and now this stuff with Kate….

He closed his eyes, took a deep breath, and for the first time in a while, asked himself what Aunt May and Uncle Ben would want him to do.

The answer was always the same, which was why he didn’t ask the question anymore. They would want him to he happy, that’s all they’d ever wanted for him. But after all that had happened, all the people he’d failed…

How could he deserve it?

Chapter Text

When Yelena Belova came back to New York, she didn’t have much of a plan in mind. She didn’t have much of a plan for her life to be honest. She’d rescued all the remaining Widows she could find, made her peace with Clint Barton, and she sure as hell wasn’t going back to being an assassin now that she had a say in the matter.

What she did know was that Kate Bishop made her laugh. She had long ago discovered that she was attracted to both genders, which was a godsend in her profession. (Of course were she straight or gay her orders would have remained the same.) It was a simple fact that Kate was physically attractive, but what drew Yelena in was that she actually liked being around her, which was a feeling that very few people evoked for her, family included.

The younger girl was dorky, but sincere. She was courageous but not yet on the too far end of cocky. She sought glory, but only for the sake of becoming glorious, rather than rubbing it in everyone’s face.

And by the gods she was funny. The girl could ramble on and on with no point at all to be made, but Yelena could imagine herself sitting and listening and watching her for hours on end, enjoying endless amusement.

So when she arrived to Kates apartment to find her with Peter Parker, she had a silent moment of crisis. Had she misread all those moments when she thought she caught the girl staring at her figure? Did she imagine the chemistry they had, even when fighting each other viciously?

She would later learn that she had most certainly not misread Kate’s feelings towards her, but that didn’t mean she was misreading the ones towards Peter.

The girl was smitten. A fresh attraction, she deduced. One recently realized and one the girl looked ready to jump right into.

Yelena could work with that. She had never been given the luxury of greed. The army vest she had sported before reuniting with her sister was the first thing in decades that she had acquired purely for herself. Since then she went a little crazy, had a few wild shopping sprees, became just a tad vain with her hair and looks, but it was all in good fun. At no part of it all did she see any of what she had as truly hers. She could part with it all in a heartbeat without batting an eye. Kate Bishop was probably the first thing she had ever gone back for. She could be open minded about it if that was what it took to keep her.

That didn’t mean she had to trust this Peter Parker right away, and as usual her instincts were correct.

Her first hint was the constant concerned looks he kept sending her when he thought she wasn’t looking, as if she were a wild animal that could pounce at any moment. He recognized her, and judging from how he was introduced, he hadn’t heard about Yelena from Kate.

Then there was the drinking. For an eighteen year old who was hesitant to come out from the get go, he seemed incredibly proficient at holding his liquor, despite downing every shot that left Kate a cute giggling mess, and Yelena slightly buzzed.

She managed to slip away to the bathroom to do some quick research on the guy, and with some light hacking uncovered that his entire identity was a sham. She didn’t like that. So she kept on her guard.

Of course, Kate Bishop then proceeded to slip right through that guard, as well as slip her some tongue in the process. She couldn’t really complain. She then watched the girl do the same to Peter, and besides the worry that the boy was betraying her trust somehow, felt little else. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. They were both attractive young adults, watching them kiss wasn’t the ugliest sight in the world.

Then Kate pushed them together like a child playing dolls, and she indulged her. As loathe as she was to admit it, he wasn’t a bad kisser. She liked he’d partners a bit submissive after all, though that might have just been his shock.

Eventually it came time to test him, and the result was nothing she could have predicted. Kate Bishop had somehow befriended the civilian identity of Spider-Man as didn’t even know it! It was so incredibly Kate Bishop she had to laugh.

That said it couldn’t continue. She was a spy, she knew the intricacies and importance of anonymity, but she would allow none of those shenanigans in the vicinity if Kate Bishops heart. She gave him her ultimatum and made her way to her hotel room, certain he would either disappear from their lives, or come through. That was the beauty of blackmail. It made things far more predictable.

The next morning she received a phone call that she had been anticipating since she woke up.

“Yelena?” Kate spoke drowsily, likely having just woke up, “Is this you?”

“Good morning Kate Bishop.” She greeted warmly. She loved saying the girls name, not just to tease, her, but also to feel the words roll off the tongue. It tasted wonderful.

Was this what falling in love felt like? She wasn’t sure.

“How did your number get in my phone?” She asked, “I don’t remember putting it in there.”

“I took the liberty while you were otherwise occupied last night.” She answered truthfully. “You really should choose a different password. ‘HAWKEYEROX’ was a bit easy to crack.”

“…yeah thanks.” Yelena snickered at the girls deadpan. “So anyways, I’ve been trying to piece together the events of last night, and I was hoping you could help me clarify what actually happened and what I might have dreamed up.”

“Of course,” she answered evenly “What is your question?”

“…Did I drunkenly make out with you?”

“Yes.”

“Right, right okay, and did you kiss me back?”

“Quite vigorously.”

“Huh. Good to know, I guess Peter was the one I dreamt…”

“No no, you kissed him as well.”

Rather than words, a small strangled sound echoed over the phone, before she finally spoke ajajn, “I see… and then I-“

“Pushed our heads together so that we would kiss also? Yes Kate Bishop all of that happened. I must say though, your taste is immaculate, he was quite a pleasant kisser given the circumstances.”

“…Okay. Well it was nice talking with you, thank you for the wonderful night out. I’m going to go kill myself now so these will be my last words.”

Yelena held back a cackle, instead signing and swooning dramatically, “Oh but Kate Bishop! If you die how will you ever kiss me again?”

An adorable whimper tickled her ear, “Please don’t joke about this, I might literally die of embarrassment. I’m sorry by the way, if it wasn’t obvious.”

“No need to apologize, and I would never ever joke about kissing you Kate Bishop.” She paused for a moment before continuing, “Perhaps we should talk more about this in person. I am to spend the day apartment hunting, but I am free to meet you later in the evening.”

“… I really want to say yes, but I kinda have… I guess an appointment? Spider-Man has been giving me pointers in vigilantism once a week, and tonight’s the night we agreed to meet so-“

“Perfect!” Yelena exclaimed, “I have been meaning to have words with the Spider Man regarding his rough treatment of me on Christmas Eve. Perhaps I may even join you on your heroic crusade for the night, I’ve never tried being a superhero before.”

“…Promise you won’t try to kill him? He didn’t know you back then and you were trying to kill Clint at the time so…”

Yelena smiled as she began to choose the days outfit. “That, Kate Bishop, will be entirely up to him.”

In another part of New York, Peter Parker was freaking out as he made his deliveries, the hours taunting him as they crept closer and closer to his nightly meet up with Kate. Something told him that if he didn’t spill the beans then Yelena would find out about it, super spies were annoying in that way.

The anxiety he felt as time drew near wasn’t even about whether or not Kate would keep his secret, or where their relationship would go from there. His brain kept stuttering just at the thought of telling her, of someone close to him knowing. Logically he knew deep down that none of what happened was his fault, but the fact remained that almost everyone he fully opened up to ended up dead, and the ones that didn’t faced other consequences besides.

For a brief moment, he carefully considered just disappearing. He could drop out of college, move to a different part of town, swing that other way if he saw Kate while on patrols.

Except that was stupid, and selfish, and unrealistic to boot.

As he completed the final delivery of the day, he steeled his heart and his mind, and resolved to tell the truth, the whole truth, and just see where things went from there.

If she even believes him.

He landed on her roof silently, looking around in confusion. Normally Kate would be standing out in the open, waiting eagerly to get started, but she was nowhere in sight.

“Boo.”

An embarrassingly high pitched noise erupted from him as he leapt forward several yards, flipping and twisting in mid air before landing in a combat crouch to face his opponent.

Instead he found Yelena Belova dying of laughter while Kate smiled apologetically as she stood up from the AC unit they were hiding behind.

“I-hehe- I thought you were supposed to have super senses!” Yelena mocked.

“Sorry! It wasn’t my idea I promise!” Kate insisted, though she was clearly having trouble keeping her own giggles under control.

Peter rolled his eyes before rising back to a standing position, “It’s a spider sense, and it only works if I’m in actual danger.” He had come with the new name when he realized calling it his ‘Peter tingle’ in the mask would be rather counterproductive.

Yelena raised an eyebrow at his words. “Oh? You mean to say you do not find me dangerous?”

“Uh…”

“Oh leave him alone Yelena!” Kate scolded. Before addressing him, “This is Yelena by the way, in case you forgot. She stopped by for a… visit and decided to tag along tonight. I hope that’s okay…”

He was about to tell her all the reasons why it was not okay, before pausing as he fully took her in with better light. She was a bit disheveled looking, and her eyes were rimmed with red. His stomach clenched with guilt once more. “Kate? Are you okay?”

Kate frowned at the question, “I… no, not really. I’m better than before but I kinda made a fool of myself last night in front of this one and a guy from my class. Things have worked out… surprisingly well with Yelena, but I’m worried I might have screwed things up with the guy completely.”

Peter wanted to ask what “pretty well” entailed, but he had to clear the air first. “Look Kate about that—“

He was cut off as his Spider phone began blaring with an air horn ringtone, the one he set up to alert him to his least favorite crisis. “Shit…”

“What is it?” Kate asked in confusion, both her and Yelena looking at him curiously as he fished his phone out and began reading over the report.

“Fire.” He spat like it was a curse, “It’s spread to a whole building, fuck!” Kate flinched as she never expected to hear Spider-Man curse. He took his Friendly Neighborhood title pretty serious. “There are people trapped inside.” He looked up at them, “I have to go.”

“O-okay right. You lead I’ll follow.” Kate responded.

“No.” He answered, “it’s across town, I have to go fast, and I’m not swinging you into a burning building. It’s not safe.”

“Oh but it’s safe for you?” Kate asked in irritation.

“Superpowers.” He answered simply. “It’s not fair, it’s just what it is.” He narrowed his eyes at both of them, “Don’t follow me. Please.” He turned to leave.

“Spider…” Yelena called out with warning clear in her tone.

He didn’t listen, simply calling back as he ran off the roof, “I don’t have time Yelena, you do what you think is right!” And with that he was gone, swinging through the buildings at speeds that made Kate want to hurl just looking at it.

She looked back at Yelena, “Do you know something I don’t?”

The former assassin stared after Spider-Man as she answered, “Yes.”

“Are you going to tell me what I’m missing?”

“… I might, but first I will give him one more chance to do so himself, once crisis is over.”

“Ugh, I was afraid you’d say that.” Kate groaned, “So… we’re going after him anyways right?”

Yelena smirked, “Of course. Follow me, I have motorbike downstairs.”

“Nice!”

Kate followed Yelena out to her motorcycle and hopped on behind her, blushing despite the situation as she wrapped her arms around the older woman. She was worried about Spider-Man, but her thoughts kept flashing back to her conversation with Yelena before he arrived.

It was long, with many instances of her brain refusing to cope with the reality of the situation, but the gist of it was this: Yelena liked her back.

That was insane to the young archer. She has never even considered it a possibility! She had expected the blonde to tease her a bit before pointing out how incredibly out of her league she was.

Instead, she had whispered soft, sincere words to her. Words of how she was looking for a new start to her life and that of all the people she could have chosen, Kate was the one she wanted to start it with.

Kate was obviously flattered to speechlessness, to which Yelena only smiled and told her not to think to hard about it, that she didn’t want to pressure her, that she could take things slow, if at all. Just nonchalantly, as if she hadn’t just opened up her whole ass heart to Kate and then said: “But it’s okay if you don’t want it.”

Kate wanted it. She wanted it bad, but there was Peter as well, and though she felt like a total douche while doing so, she couldn’t help but share her thoughts and feelings with Yelena just as she had for her.

And then she just said, “it’s no problem, I can share.” When did her life become a trashy romance novel!?

The pin they put in the discussion was to wait until they could both talk to Peter about it all before moving forward, though how they were gonna bring that up to him she hadn’t the foggiest. The guy might just keel over right then and there. He was pretty thin after all.

She was broken out of her thoughts by Yelena patting her thigh urgently, “I will drive, you will navigate yes?”

Right, the fire, duh. Stupid feelings making everything so stupidly complicated. She quickly pulled out her phone and searched for news of a fire in the news, and boy did she find it.

She gave Yelena the directions, but even as the bike roared through the streets, she couldn’t pull her eyes away from the live news feed.

It was obviously shot from a helicopter circling a building that looked more like hell on earth than anything else. Every window had flames pouring out of it, and smoke rose into like a demon being summoned from the earth.

And then, to her absolute horror, the camera panned down to show Spider-Man swinging in at high speeds.

When the hero had swung away to help with a fire, Kate had imagined him working with the fire fighters, swinging around with the hose where the normal men would have to waste time setting up a ladder, and getting the victims out when it was actually safe to do so. Se hadn’t imagined the fire to be as large and out of control as it was.

She certainly hasn’t expect him to launch himself directly through one of the windows, straight into to inferno.

“He just went in.”

“What?!” Yelena called back to her as the wind ripped around their heads.

“He just went in!” Kate called back, “By himself! I don’t think he even has a plan!”

A string of Russian curse words flew back through the aye before Yelena lowered her head. “Hold on tightly.”

Kate wordlessly complied, more than happy to gave an excuse not to watch the news feed anymore as Yelena sped wildly through the streets of New York. As they got closer and closer, she wondered if Spider-Man had a point in telling her to stay behind. All she has was a quiver of trick arrows and a bow. What could she do to help here?

For that matter, what the hell could Spider-Man do?

Inside the building, wreathed In the fire and smoke, Peter Parker was once again regretting many of his life choices.

Fires had always been his least favorite emergency. It probably wasn’t right that he had a favorite, but really, simple muggings had such simple solutions, namely his fists and webs.

Fires were more complicated, especially without the benefit of a bulletproof suit. He had to focus all of his senses to navigate and locate the civilians, and he especially had to trust his spider sense, which had helped him dodge more than one collapsing ceiling so far.

He had noted the number of trapped civilians from the news report and counted about seven out of twenty five that he’d saved. The majority of them were already passed out from smoke inhalation, which didn’t bode well at all for those remaining, but that wasn’t an excuse to stop.

By the twentieth however, his lungs, enhanced as they were, were screaming at him to stop the abuse. He didn’t listen of course, he never did.

He managed to make it to twenty five, all still breathing, if only barely, with only a few third degree burns to show for it. Not bad in his opinion. He was about to leave when a new sound stopped him in his tracks. An infant was wailing it’s heart out in a room near him. It must have been overlooked or something when the fire team did the count. No worries, he always had at least one more rescue in him.

He broke down the apartment door to find a crib surrounded by flames in the middle of the room. He leapt to the ceiling and quickly crawled his way over the wailing infant and lowered himself down on a web line.

When he pulled off the blanket however, what he found was a small radio playing the wailing sounds, next to a rectangular device fitted with a countdown timer that was only a few seconds away from zero. Oh, and a note on top of it that simply read: Don’t die. His spider sense began to glare fare too late.

He was halfway out the nearest window when the explosion rocketed him into the side of the building across the street, before falling to the sidewalk below. From there it was a little hazy.

He remembered people crowding around him, a few mentions of hospital, to which he did his level best to disagree with, though he wasn’t sure if he was actually shaking his head if he was just imagining it with how his head was pounding.

Then there was space around him? he was picked up by strong arms and then he felt sandwiched between two people as air blew around him.

Then he was on something soft and he quickly lost his will to stay conscious, but before he went out, he heard a familiar pair of voices arguing about someone named Peter.

Didn’t he know someone named Peter?

Chapter Text

Waking up in an unknown location was never a fun feeling. It was even less fun when accompanied by a full body bruise with a side of burns all over.

Still, he had to take stock of his situation, and began to roll onto he side. Before he could move more than a few inches however, a hand appeared on his shoulder and pressed him back down gently.

He squinted his eyes at the figure that had appeared next to him, and after a moment his blurry vision focused on one Yelena Belova, who stared down at him with an unreadable expression. “Do not move.”

He complied, albeit reluctantly. “Where am I?” His voice croaked out awfully, and as he breathed his throat felt like sandpaper. God fires sucked.

“My new apartment.” Yelena answered, “The one I bought just yesterday and already you’ve managed to get blood all over it.”

“M’sorry…”

She scoffed, “For the blood I’m sure, but what about the part where you nearly kill yourself?”

“I wasn’t trying—“

“Bullshit.” Her accent emphasized the word harshly, “What did you think would happen? That you would walk into fire, save the day and back out no worse for wear?”

“I have before, I almost did this time, give it take a few burns.”

“Almost is worth two shits idiot. You were blown up, some gas exploded or something, blew you across the street.”

He frowned, and even that hurt, but something about what she said seemed wrong, though he couldn’t quite put a finger on what.

“I will admit you are more stubborn than I expected Peter Parker,” she continued on, “I’ve never seen anyone take that much punishment and keep on clinging to life afterward, but make no mistake you were clinging. I’ve done what I can for your wounds but if you were any less ‘super’ than you are, you would certainly be dead. I take it you have some sort of healing ability?”

“Accelerated healing,” he confirmed, “Came with the enhanced metabolism.” He winced as his stomach suddenly made its displeasure known, “Speaking of which, would you happen to have any pretzels or something? Healing injuries this big drain a lot of fuel…”

Rather than answer, she simply reached to a table next to him and produced a styrofoam cup. “Drink.”

He accepted the straw humbly and was relieved to taste a protein packed smoothie in the cup. Before he realized it the cup was empty. “God that’s better, thank you.”

She shrugged as she set the empty cup out of the way, before crossing her arms and looking at him sternly. “Do you wish to die Peter Parker?”

“Are you asking or threatening?”

“Pick one.”

He swallowed cautiously, “I will admit I can be a bit reckless at times,”

“A bit?”

“But I know my limits. I didn’t go into that building without expecting to come out. That’s just the job. There are risks.”

“Okay A: this is not a job. You do not get paid for it. B: you do not get to talk down to others about risks right after lecturing them about things being ‘too dangerous’. Do not be an asshole!”

“You said it yourself, I can survive things others can’t.”

“What did I just fucking say?”

He sighed, closing his eyes. “I’m sorry. You’re right, I’m a hypocrite, but do you really think things would have gone better if I brought you or Kate in with me? Really?”

She had no response, simply glaring at him before saying, “You owe Kate Bishop an apology as well.”

At that his eyes widened slightly and he reached up to touch his face, finding it bare of course. “Does she…”

“The explosion blew off half of your costume, she recognized you when we found you on the street.”

He sighed even heavier now, “How’d she take it?”

“Not well. She was frantic well into the night and confused as well. I eventually gave her a sedative so that it she would sleep.”

“I should probably tell you not to drug people, but I’d be a hypocrite. Got any pain killers?”

She frowned, “I’ve already given you a dangerous amount—“

“For a human maybe, my metabolism runs through meds fast too, I kinda need higher doses.”

Yelena’s eyes widened, “You mean you are…”

“Feeling all of this right now? Oh yeah!” He grinned wryly, “Yeah. Wish I could say it’s the worst I’ve felt but…”

“I will get drugs.” She stated before disappearing from sight.

A few minutes later a normally lethal amount of morphine was running through his system and Peter could breath easier. “Thanks. Again, and for scraping me off the sidewalk.”

He only received a frown in response, “Do not make me do it again. It stressed me out too.”

He chuckled a bit before coughing up half a lung. “Hey I think I’m gonna pass out in a second, that okay?”

“Unless you suddenly feel capable of making your way home and reaching your own couch, then yes, I suppose I must allow it.”

“Thanks…” he said again, as his eyes fluttered close once more.

When Kate Bishop woke up, she was a bit confused as to when she fell asleep. Then she remembered the awful nightmare she had and just thanked her lucky stars it had only been a dream. Then she realized she wasn’t in her loft and the nightmare continued.

“Did you drug me!” She asked as she stormed into Yelena’s fancy new living room. Or at least it was fancy, with a lot of white color scheming that now had bits of red strewn all about.

“Yes.” Yelena answered simply from her Seat next to Peter, who was still unconscious.

“Why!”

“You were doing no good to yourself or him being stressed all night, so I help you sleep. You feel better now yes?”

She did and it annoyed the hell out if her, “That’s besides the point. You can’t just going around drugging people, especially your friends!”

Yelena looked absolutely perplexed at this but nodded anyways, “I see, and when we become lovers I can drug you then?”

Kate struggle to keep her composure at the ever confident ‘when’, “No! Especially not then! It’s a violation of trust!”

“Hmm. I will make a note if this Kate Bishop, my apologies.”

A part of her wanted to press the issue further, but then her eyes flicked back to Peter and she couldn’t keep her anger, “Just… whatever. How’s he doing?”

“Surprisingly well,” she answered, “He woke up some hours ago, we talked a bit then I gave him morphine and he fell back asleep. At the look Kate was giving her Yelena threw her hands up in defense, “He asked for it! Literally.”

Kate sighed and went to sit down on one of the chairs opposite of Peter, curling herself up into a ball. “So you knew huh?”

“About him? Yes.”

“How long?”

“Only since night out. I gave him a chance to tell you, and I would have told you if he chickened out….” She looked back at Peter “I did not anticipate it would go this way.”

“Yeah well who could?” She muttered before falling silent in thought.

Watching Spider-Man get blown up was awful and scary, but a small part of her said that he’d be fine. Spider-Man was a hero. Things like explosions don’t keep heroes down.

Then she shoved her way through the crowd and saw half his face exposed from the blast, and it was swollen and gushing blood but it was undeniably Peter

Peter Parker wasn’t a hero. He was the guy she sat next to in chemistry! He was the nerdy but cute guy who couldn’t say no when ambushed to tutor a bunch of strangers. He was the dork who infected her with ‘pizza time’ and accidentally hit on the teacher on the first day of class. He was a person!

And people die from explosions all the time.

So it was quite relief that he didn’t, but it didn’t preclude the fact that he easily could have. It was a never ending loop of anxiety that she tabled for another time. She had other problems to worry about.

Like how the hell she manages to not only befriend Spider-Man out of all the thousands of people in New York, but also made a drunken fool out of herself in front of him to boot.

Also why didn’t he tell her sooner? Well obviously secret identity was one thing but that was just for people you don’t trust right? Was there something about her that made him not trust her? Or did he simply not see her as someone worth telling…

As if sensing her internal crisis, Peter began shifting awake on the couch, before letting out a soft groan, “Fire sucks. Frankenstein had it right.”

“Frankenstein was the scientist, the monster had no name.”

The two younger adults looked at Yelena in surprise, which only served to offend her. “What? You think I am not cultured just because I am pretty?”

“I just thought you were busy being a brainwashed assassin most of your life.” Kate responded.

“Ah. That’s fair.”

When Kate looked back at Peter, it was clear he had only just realized she was in the room. “Hey…”

“Hey.” She greeted back, trying for cheerful but only succeeding with tired relief.

“So… this is awkward.”

“Well it is now…” Yelena muttered beside him, causing both of the to wince.

“Okay so, first things first, we’re pretty sure you’re not dying right?” Kate looked at both of them for confirmation.

“Pretty sure.” The blonde spoke with a half-shrug.

Peter simply pulled the blanket that was strewn over him down, before picking off the bandages on his chest. Both women looked in shock at the nearly healed skin underneath. “I’ll be okay.”

“That is so unfair.” Yelena stated with envy.

“Yeah that’s pretty insane actually.” Kate agreed, “I’m kinda getting where you were coming from with that whole roof lecture now.”

Peter only hummed noncommittally as he reached for a shirt that Yelena had provided.

As he pulled it on, Kate couldn’t hold her composure any longer, “So why are you Spider-Man?”

He looked up in confusion, “I mean… to do the right thing I guess? With great power—“

“No-sorry I didn’t mean… look I’m still waking uo and trying to wrap my head around all this, for now I just want to know: was it a coincidence that we met? You know outside the suits…”

The question actually seemed to relieve Peter, as if he had been expecting worse. “Surprisingly yeah. I actually do have a pizza delivery job to pay the bills, and when you showed up to class I nearly had a heart attack. Both were pure coincidences.”

She frowned at his wording, “Like a good heart attack or a bad one?” That was a stupid question. There were no good heart attacks.

His hesitation all but confirmed her suspicion, but eventually he explained, “Look, before I put the suit back on, I made a promise to myself to keep the lives of Peter and Spider-Man as separate as possible.”

“And how is that working for you?” Yelena chimed in.

Peter gave her an unamused look, “Not good. And you haven’t exactly been helping.”

“I mean I wasn’t really trying but whatever.”

“So,” Kate cut back in, “If Yelena hadn’t figured it out and twisted your arm… you’d have just never told me?”

“I… no. I probably wouldn’t have.”

“Huh.” Kate took a moment to let that sink in. “That kinda sucks.”

Peter took a deep breath, “Kate, it has nothing to do with what I think of you, I happen to think you’re pretty great if I’m being honest. I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about telling you before now.”

“Then what stopped you?”

“It’s… a long story. Basically, I learned the hard way that people who I let get close to me tend to get hurt. Badly.”

Yelena snorted rudely to the side, which Kate couldn’t help but concur with. “Doesn’t that seem just a tad dramatic to you?”

He simply gave at them a haunted expression, “No.”

“Okay… I take it something bad happened then?”

He sighed and stood up from the couch, surprising both of them just with being able to walk at all. “This is a mistake.”

Kate stood with him to try and intercept, “What’s a mistake? Look I’m sorry if it’s a touchy subject but I can’t understand if you don’t tell me

“You won’t believe me.” He has his head down, with his hands rubbing through his hair anxiously. He looked ready to bolt at any moment.

“Dude, half of the entire universe was erased recently, then just brought back.” Yelena commented, “I don’t think you can tell us anything more unbelievable than that.”

“You’d be surprised.”

“Just ,” Kate gently approached and grabbed his shoulders, causing him to look up at her and jeez he looked scared. Of what? Of her? Of the past? “Maybe just tell us first before writing us off?”

He looked at her, then at Yelena, who shrugged and gestured back to the couch. “…Alright.“

Once they were settled back in, Peter clasped his hands together and stared at them intensely, like they were his only constant. “Early this year, my secret identity was revealed to the world. Everyone knew that Peter Parker was Spider-Man.”

Kate and Yelena gave each other a look, “Okay you’re gonna have to elaborate on that cause I think we both missed it somehow.”

So he did, he started with his misadventure with ‘Mysterio’ which was a dumb name (and he got hit by a train and walked it off what the fuck?)

He told the how everything was going well for him, girlfriend included and Kate was definitely not jealous of this MJ because that would be stupid especially since it was clearly going to be a sad story.

They kept their mouths shut when he explained his identity reveal, how it affected his life, how it affected his friends lives also. They still didn’t understand how they could forget all that.

“And that’s when I had the idea to go see Doctor Strange.”

“The wizard guy?” Yelena asked in surprise, “you know him?”

“Well I did,” Peter explained, “We fought together against Thanos.”

Kate blanched, “Y-you mean in that big battle thing after the second snap?”

“Well there too, but Strange, Tony, the Guardians and I had a confrontation with him before the first snap. We almost got the glove off but one of the guardians kinda messed things up at the last second.” He muttered the last bit with irritation.

“So you fought Thanos? Yourself?” Thanos had become something like the Boogeyman to the people of earth, a being who could scare the hulk was plenty to be scared of. The thought of Peter or Spider-Man
Facing off with the alien made Kate a bit sick to her stomach.

However, Peter just shook his head, “It was a group effort, and I only really got a few licks in. I was mostly focused on keeping everyone from getting crushed when he threw part of a moon at us… but anyways we’re getting off track! Strange knew me from that, so when I went to the sanctum he agreed to help me out. He had a spell that could make everyone forget I was Spider-Man. It didn’t go as planned.”

He explained to them his, quite reasonable, concerns on who the spell would affect. Then things got crazier as he just casually mentioned that the multiverse was real and people from other worlds were coming to kill him, and for some reason he decided to help them rather than just send them back.

Then things got really dark, as he explained how that decision cost his Aunt May her life.

“Wait… May Parker? The one from F.E.A.S.T.?” Kate asked

Peter smiled thinly, “Yeah, I don’t think I’d ever seen her happier after Ben died than when she was working there.”

Kate made a mental note to send a bigger donation to the charity next time.

The story only got wilder from there, as apparently two other Peter Parker’s arrived and helped defeat the villains. Although Peter explicitly stated that they had different faces, that didn’t stop her mind from conjuring the image of three identical Peters, which then led to some more… explicit images.

“So then I realized that the only way to fix things, was to erase Peter Parker entirely. From everyone. Including my friends. Fast forward a few months of getting my life somewhat together and here was are.”

Kate had no idea what to say in response to a story like that. Sorry? That sucks bro?

“You were right, that is very hard to believe.” Yelena spoke up. “However, while you were unconscious I spent about an hour putting actual effort into finding any trace of you in the world and found absolutely nothing, so between a magic spell and my skills simply lacking,” she lifted her hands in a balancing motion, “One is definitely more believable.”

“So what about your… friends?” She can’t be his girlfriend if she doesn’t remember him, but she didn’t think spelling that out would be especially tactful, “You didn’t ever try and talk to them, maybe reconnect?”

“…I went to them, with a speech written down, a plan to try my best to convince them I was telling the truth but…” his eyes cast downwards, “They looked… happy. I mean they had no reason not to be, it’s not looks they could miss me without knowing I exist, but they had their whole lives ahead of them. They were both getting ready for MIT, I just… I couldn’t bring myself to come in and crash the party. They’re better off without me.”

That was a debatable, and judging from the look she shared with Yelena, she wasn’t the only one who thought so.

“And what about you Spider Boy?” Yelena asked sternly, “Are you better off?”

Peter gave an aggrieved expression, “I know what you’re trying to say and yeah I get it. I know that it’s hypocritical and maybe even selfish of me, but tell me this: have you ever looked into the eyes of your best friend or someone you loved and loved you back, and just see zero recognition? No indication of familiarity? How does one face that and just say ‘hey I know you’ve got your whole lives going on but turns out we’re actually friends/lovers so do you mind putting your life on hold for me, a person you’ve no recollection of, and try and rebuild our relationship from scratch?’”

Put like that it did seem a rather tall order. “Look Peter, that’s all truly awful, and I can’t express how sorry I am that it happened to you.” Kate sucked in a breath to build her resolve, “But that doesn’t mean you have to keep yourself from making new relationships, or building new connections. Do you really think you can spend the rest of your life only looking after yourself.”

He opened his mouth to respond but Yelena beat him to it, “‘Scraping you off the sidewalk’ counts as looking after you dipshit.”

“…Okay maybe you have a point.”

“Look,” Kate got up and grabbed one of his hands, “The reality right now, is that we’re here, and we’re not going to just stop caring about you anytime soon.” She paused before giving Yelena a questioning look. “Right?”

She gave a very put upon sigh but gave him a pat on the shoulder, “You’ve had tough break, much like me. We look out for one another now yes?”

It was blunt and to the point, and very much Yelena. Kate gave her a proud smile, taking careful notice of his Yelena’s slightly pink ears and sudden avoidance of eye contact. That’s a power she definitely shouldn’t abuse, much.

“There you have it! So unless you go and do another magic ritual or whatever to make us forget, which you do not have my consent for just to put it out there, I’m afraid you’re just gonna have to suck it up and accept it.”

“Poor boy, too beautiful women who care about him whatever will he do.” Yelena lamented.

He was a bit embarrassed at first, but as they watched him, hesitant acceptance began to bloom in his expression as his eyes glistened a bit more than usual. “I guess I have no choice huh?”

“Nope.” Both women answered in unison.

He laughed shakily, “Well then… thanks I guess.”

Kate felt relief flow through her. It was obvious that Peter was a self destructive individual in much need of therapy, but at least he wasn’t going to being alone anymore. “Great, now that that’s settled, who’s hungry? We should all grab breakfast somewhere, my treat!”

“Well I’m starving but you don’t have to-“

“Too bad!” She beamed at him until he sagged in defeat. There was definitely something about that Parker Pride, but she wouldn’t be deterred by it.

“Kate Bishop, aren’t you forgetting something?” Yelena asked melodiously.

Kate stiffened uncertainly, “I don’t know if it’s the right time… after breakfast.”

“You overestimate my patience Kate Bishop.”

Blushing, Kate valiantly tried to reason with the older woman, “He might not even remember! Come on let’s—“

“Uh Kate?” Peter spoke up, suddenly looking just as embarrassed as she felt, “I think I might know what you’re talking about, so for the sake of uh, honesty and all I should probably mention I can’t get drunk, thanks to my powers…”

Kates mind slowed down… “At all?”

“I mean I feel a light buzz, but not enough to genuinely affect my judgements or *ahem* my memory.” He looked away.

Kate’s mind screeched to a halt, before turning backwards a bit until finally it broke down and she picked up a pillow to scream into.

“H-hey it wasn’t that bad.”

“Do not lie to her Peter, it was pretty bad, but also cute and hilarious. Yes?”

“I mean… I don’t want to make fun of her…” A thump sounded and he continued with a bit of strain in his voice, “But if I’m being honest, it was kind of adorable. Sorry I lied about being drunk though, at the time, it seemed more sensible than letting you go off with an assassin by yourself…”

She took a deep breath, enjoying the fresh linen scent of the pillow before pulling it away. “That’s… pretty fair. So… I kissed you.”

“Yeah… I mean you were drunk but… yeah…”

Kate steeled herself, “I… I didn’t do it just because I was drunk…”

She chanced a look at Peter who was running the back of his head uncomfortably. She took comfort in his face being as red as hers, “O-oh. So you…”

“Have a crush. On you. But also Yelena? Honestly I had sort of a crush on her ever since Christmas but I thought she was like way out of my league, which she is but she likes me anyway? Anyways I kind of only just realized the other day that I like you too, though I think it’s been that way for a while and I told Yelena that and she came up with this wild idea that I could date both of you which is crazy right? Haha! But she was like ‘let’s see what he says’ and then you got blown up and now we’re here and could you maybe say something so I can shut up? I’m shutting up now…”

Peter was silent for a while, taking his time processing her word vomit, before looking to Yelena for confirmation, who only nodded once.

He breathed in deeply, “Kate, I think you’re one of the coolest, most beautiful girls I’ve ever met—“

“Well that’s a prelude to a ‘but’ if I ever heard one.” Kate broke in dejectedly.

“I’m not saying no!” Peter assured her, “I just… yesterday I was resigned to probably never dating again, which I know is a bit dramatic but it’s where my head was at. I just don’t want to jump into this without thinking it through properly you know? I don’t want anyone to get hurt because I rushed into it.”

Yelena cut in with an agonized groan, “Both of you are making this too complicated, overthinking everything! There is very safe simple solution.”

The younger two turned to her, “Like what?”

“We all go on date, obviously. I don’t know where all this talk of ‘jumping in’ is coming from. Going on date is normal way of testing compatibility yes?”

“I guess that makes sense… wait all of us?” Kate asked.

Yelena shrugged, “I do not know yet if I have ‘crush’ on Peter Parker, but after story I find him quite respectable. He’s also powerful and quite physically attractive, and obviously he finds me attractive as well.”

Peter sputtered, “Hey I don’t know if… w-well-“

“And it will all be much more convenient and pleasurable if everyone dates everyone yes?”

The idea was quickly growing on Kate, but she had to be sure, “Peter? What do you think?”

“I mean… I guess it can’t hurt to try? God I feel like a jackass, most guys would kill to be in this situation…”

“You’re lack of over-enthusiasm is most reassuring.” Yelena assured him.

Kate chuckled a bit in agreement, “Yeah really. Most guys would jump right in just for the sex or something.”

Kate thought that she’d seen Peter embarrassed before, but at the mention of the ‘s-word’ she feared he might go catatonic, “W-what? why would- why would you even bring that…”

As he had a new crisis, Kate made wide-eye contact with Yelena and a silent conversation took place.

Could he be…

Looks like it.

How? He’s a superhero, and he had a girlfriend right? I mean-

He is young, and he doesn’t seem the type to try and pressure anyone into anything.

Should… should I be concerned?

Have you ever been with a virgin Kate bishop?

Well no but-

A predatory gleam appeared in Yelena’s eyes, There is good reason they are so sought after. Virgins can be trained.

Kate flushed deeply, but before the not-a-conversation could move forward, they all heard a heavy knock on the front door.

Peter broke out of his own embarrassment as he looked at Yelena, “Were you expecting someone?”

“No. I just bought the place yesterday, no one should even know about it…”

With an unspoken agreement, all three got into ready stances as Yelena approached the door, producing a pistol out of nowhere to hide behind her thigh as she approached the door. Very slowly, she tiptoed up to look through the peephole.

Then she let out a loud Russian curse as she stepped back and threw the door open, “What the hell are you doing here?!”

On the other side of the door, a slightly heavy set man with an impressive beard gave her a broad smile, before answering with a booming Russian accent, “Yelena! I was in neighborhood and thought I stop by!”

Yelena looked incredibly pained at that answer, “But why though?”

The man frowned, “What? Can’t a father just stop by and say hello to his daughter?”

As Yelena looked ready to slam the door, both Kate and Peter had the same exact thought: Father?

Chapter Text

Peter watched the newcomer carefully as he entered the apartment, shouldering past Yelena, who let him in with an air of extreme annoyance.

The man looked the place over, spotting the bits of Peters blood almost immediately, “Ah you have been busy I see!”

Kate was the first to speak up, “Uh, Yelena? Should we be concerned or…”

As she spoke the man locked on to her with surprising recognition, “Ah! Kate Bishop is here! I see you have been busy!”

“Oh my god…” Yelena had her face covered with one hand, while the other twitched dangerously while still clutching her pistol.

“You know me?” Kate asked with a nervous but amused smile.

“Of course!” The man boomed, “My darling girl Yelena, returns from assassination mission that is supposedly more important than spending Christmas with family-“

“I thought he killed Natasha you asshole!”

“And did he?” Yelena didn’t respond, to which he hummed victoriously, “Exactly, now don’t interrupt. Anyways she comes back just in time to celebrate. It is Christmas Miracle for me and her Mama, but whole time she is with us what does she talk about?”

“Please don’t…”

“Kate bishop!” The man ignored her, “Kate Bishop this, Kate Bishop that! ‘Oh mama Kate Bishop was so brilliant in the Christmas lights!’ ‘Oh papa there is no one that can match Kate Bishop with a bow!’ She just gush on and on!”

Kate looked over at Yelena, whose steely cool visage was slowly crumbling around her as her father shook the foundations, “You told your parents about me?”

“Not like that!” She protested, popping out from behind her hand with cherry cheeks, “I mention your name a few times when asked how trip was. I did not ‘gush’ about anything!”

“She was smitten as can possibly be.” The man ‘whispered’ to Kate conspiratorially before giving her a wink.

“Wait sorry-“ Peter couldn’t keep his silence any longer, “So just to be clear this is actually your dad?”

Yelena sighed, “Unfortunately yes, closest thing I have. Kate Bishop, Peter Parker, this is my father, Alexei Shostakov.”

Alexei looked at Peter now, having apparently overlooked him beforehand, “Peter Parker eh? I know Kate Bishop but not you. What is relationship with Yelena?”

“Uh…” how the hell was he supposed to answer that? He didn’t even know at this point!

“He is potential third.” Yelena stated simply.

“Potential third?” Her father asked in confusion, “third wha…” he trailed off as he looked between Yelena, Kate, and Peter before finally the pieces fell together. “Ah! Well I- you are grown woman I suppose, and there are all kinds of relationships that are accepted in modern today…”

“Oh goody, I was so hoping for your approval.” Yelena remarked dryly.

“Of course it still falls on me to perform fatherly duties.” Alexei resolved, before looking at Peter, “Come boy, we talk outside.”

What?

“Oh my god no!” Yelena cried, “you do not get to intimidate him in hall! We haven’t even gone on date yet!”

“And yet I find him in your apartment!” Alexei countered, “I do not plan on hurting him, I simply must ascertain his motivations. He’s trying to date two women after all, seems like a philanderer to me…”

“You are being so incredibly uncool right now…”

“Hey how come you’re just giving Peter the talk and not me?” Kate asked indignantly, “I could be a philanderer, you don’t know.”

“I-ah… well you are woman see so I—“

“Woah!”

“Dude!”

“That’s sexist.”

“I am not sexist!” Alexei held his hands up, “I love women! I have great respect for them.”

“You are embarrassing me so hard right now!” Yelena cried, “Can you please just tell me why you’re here or leave?”

Alexei seemed to realize he was losing the battle now, so he backed down, “Alright! I see I have made ass of myself. I was in the neighborhood and wanted yo see you. I just so happen to be in New York tracking a potential recruit!”

“Recruit for what?” Kate asked just as Yelena have her a look that screamed ‘don’t ask’

“I’m glad you asked!” Alexei put his hands on his hips proudly, “You see Kate Bishop, Yelena comes from a proud lineage.”

“Oh gods here we go.”

“Her mother, the original Black Widow, and her father,” he stood up as straight as possible, “The great Russian hero: Red Guardian!”

He seemed to wait patiently for gasps or polite applause, but was met with only silence. “Red Guardian? The eternal rival of Captain America?”

“Wasn’t that Red Skull?” Kate asked.

“Why would two Americans recognize you idiot?” Yelena asked harshly, “People in Russia do not even recognize you.”

Alexei slumped in defeat, looking at Kate and Peter pitifully, “Is true. I spent entire career working for mother Russia, and in return they throw me in prison and erase my legend from history. But soon that will change. You see children, I will make a new legend, a new team of soviet Superheroes that will put the Avengers to shame, and we shall be called… the Revengers!”

Peter really shouldn’t have, he knew he shouldn’t have, but he couldn’t help it, “I’m pretty sure that’s already taken…”

Alexei looked at him in alarm, “What? No!”

“Yeah Thor made a team called the Revengers I’m pretty sure…”

“Damn him!” He hollered, “Why is Thor on American superhero team anyway? He’s from Norway!“

“Pretty sure he’s from space.” Kate tentatively corrected.

“Damn. Must think of new name…”

“Wait,” Peter suddenly came to a realization, “so you’re saying there’s a superhero in New York right now that your tracking?”

Alexei grimaced, “Hero is strong word. He requires reform but he is very promising!”

“Uh okay, what is he then?”

“He is a hunter! The worlds greatest one at that, born and raised in the motherland! I believe right now he is on a hunt for one of those spandex wearers running around the city.”

A pit of dread formed in Peters stomach, “He’s hunting a person?”

“Is regrettable hobby I know, but we all have quirks do we not.” The man laughed loudly, before noticing the mood in the room had dropped significantly. “Apologies.”

“Why must you suck so much?” Yelena asked helplessly.

“Hey!”

Peter in the other hand was quickly entering spider mode, “Alexei, this is important. You’ve been tracking this guy right? Do you know what he’s been up to?”

Alexei thought for a moment, “He is in early stages of hunt I believe, testing his prey, assuring himself of their worth.”

Kate snorted, “I take it the guy has a high opinion of himself then?”

“Is well earned! Anyways, I was not there but I heard afterwards that he sets trap for prey, lures him in with the cries of the innocent then springs the trap, which in this case happened to be a-“

“Bomb.” Peter finished, horror filling his mind as he finally remembered what happened, the crying baby sounds, the ticking bomb.

“Yes! Exactly. Sharp lad!” Alexei commended.

Horror filled Kate and Yelena’s faces as well as they also put the pieces together. Yelena gave her dad a withering look, “You will tell us where he is now, and give him too us.”

“What? But what about Rev- Soviet super team?”

“I’m sure you’ll find other candidates,” Kate soothed with her signature smile, “Maybe one’s that don’t lure their victims in with the ‘the cries of the innocent’?”

Alexei stroked his beard thoughtfully, “Hmm, is good note I suppose… but I have already come all this way…”

“What will it take for you to give him up?” Peter asked, trying to contain his irritation with the man, “I’m sure we could work something out.”

The man’s eyes lit up, “I tell you what, because my darling girl wishes it I will tell you what I know,” their sighs of relief were quickly interrupted by: “After the Peter boy takes me on in arm wrestling!”

Peter blinked, “Really?”

“Alexei…” Yelena warned.

“What? Is fair trade! You will not let me terrify, so at least let me take measure of his manhood!” They all cringed at his wording though he continued undeterred, “You’re mother and I do worry after all. I know Kate Bishop is strong,” Kate blushed a bit as he pointed to her, “But I know nothing of this boy!”

Peter cleared his throat, “Uh Yelena? It’s not a big deal, I don’t mind really.”

Yelena continued to glare, both at Yelena and Alexei, before signing and rolling her eyes, “Make it quick.”

Alexei clapped his excitedly as they all moved to the dining room.

Peter and Alexei sat at either end of the table, Peter bored and impatient, while Alexei smiled sinisterly. “I will warn you now boy, I am Russia’s first and only super soldier, there is no shame when you lose to me, besides regular amount.”

Peter schooled his features, “Yeah okay. Ready?”

They clasped hands and got into position, but before they started, Alexei pulled Peter closer and whispered, “If you attempt to concede the match I will know. Give me all your strength or I will not tell you what you wish to know.”

Peter gritted his teeth. He had absolutely been about to concede to get this over with, “Fine. Let’s do this.”

Yelena and Kate sat on either side of them, both to watch and referee. Peter would be lying if he said that didn’t influence his decision a little, but mostly he was just tired. He had been blown up the night before, only to awaken to an intensely uncomfortable conversation, no matter how much good it might have earned him. He was tired of life constantly throwing him curveballs and seriously? Some guy was trying to hunt him? What the hell?

So when Kate yelled “Go.” He decided to do something he hadn’t had to do since that roof had collapsed on him as a kid: he stopped holding back.

The larger man cried out as he was thrown to the floor, though not before his hand was thrown through the left end of the table, breaking a chunk off in the process.

Peter blinked, a bit surprised at himself with that one, before looking over at Yelena, “Um… Sorry for the table?”

Yelena didn’t seem upset however, quite the opposite in fact. A heated look had overwhelmed her visage and before he knew it she was on him, pulling him in for a kiss once more, this time completely unbidden by Kates drunken whims.

She pulled away after only a few seconds to parrot back to him, “Sorry…”

“Uh… that’s okay? I’m a bit confused though…”

“It appears I may have what you Americans call… daddy issues.”

Peter blushed, and as he looked over, he saw Kate doing the same, though her eyes had some heat in them as well, “I think drunk me was smarter than I gave her credit for.”

Just then Alexei popped back up from under the table with a big grin on his face, “Fantastic! Yelena why didn’t you tell me you were dating another super-soldier? Just like your mother eh?”

That seemed to thoroughly ruin the moment, especially for Yelena who seemed a bit ill at the thought of dating anyone remotely like her father.

“Look I did what you asked right? Now what do you know about the bomber?” Peter asked, eager to change the subject.

Alexei frowned petulantly, “Alright, do not let go of your horses! I can’t tell you where he is right now exactly but I can tell you what he’s doing.”

“I’m listening.”

“Well he tested his prey yes? The next step is to follow it back to its nest, wait for it to regain strength, then go for the kill.”

“Wait so you’re saying he knows where his victim went?” Kate asked, panic appearing on her face.

Alexei snorted, “Most assuredly! Sergei Kravenoff is most accomplished hunter and tracker in the world. He is probably watching his prey right now!”

Peters eyes widened, and as if on cue, his spider sense began to scream at him to move. Seeing that the only point of attack near him was the floor to ceiling windows that made up the wall behind Alexei, he instinctively grabbed the man and threw them both to the side.

A bullet appeared right where Alexei’s head would have been and judging from the trajectory, it would have continued on into Peters brain afterwards.

“Get down!” He shouted, a bit belatedly but it was the thought that counts right?

As it was, the two women were already behind the kitchen counter, while Peter pushed the table over to use it as cover, pulling Alexei in with him.

“I do not understand!” Alexei, exclaimed.

“You’re ‘recruit’ is trying to kill me, not much else to it really,” Peter gritted out before calling out to the others. “Did anyone see where the shot came from?”

“Rooftop of the building to the right of the one directly across from us.” Kate called back, before peeking over the counter for half a second. “Looks like he’s still there.”

“Okay…” Peter absently grabbed the tablecloth and ripped off a strip to wrap around his face. “Please tell me my web-shooters are in here somewhere!”

Yelena answered, “They got blown up when you did! I swear to god if you’re thinking what I think you’re thinking…”

“Well in my defense I have no idea what you’re thinking so how would I know not to be thinking it?” He paused and winced as he realized something, “Hey Yelena?”

“What?”

“Sorry in advance for this, I’d offer to pay but I deliver pizzas so…”

Before anyone could ask what he meant, he rolled out from the table to get a running start, before running fully speed at the window with the bullet hole in it, keeping an eye out for the building and quickly spotting a figure across the bustling street below. His senses flared again and he ducked another bullet before throwing up his arms and jumping through the window.

He sailed through the air, having added an extra oomph into the jump in lieu of his webs. In a matter of moments he had made it to the other buildings rooftop and quickly rolled behind a ventilation unit just in time to dodge another shot.

He focused his hearing to pick up the sound of a rifle reloading. That was his window.

He slung over his cover and began bounding across the rooftop, hopping to his attackers rooftop with little effort. The man had been wearing a tarp cover to avoid detection until then, but as Peter went in for a strike, the figure leapt back while throwing the tarp at Peter to obscure his vision. When it fell away, the man’s full form greeted him boldly.

He was a heavily muscled man, much like Alexei but minus all the water weight. His pitch black hair and beard indicated that he was younger as well, but by the manic grin stretching across his face, it was hard to tell. He was wearing, mostly leather attire, loose fitting for feeding of movement, but the real eye catcher was his jacket, that looked like the giant bisected face of a lion, lined with a heavy fur collar that was practically a mane of its own. Knives and pistols were strapped to the majority of his form, but the one he wielded was a strangely familiar looking spear, though Peter couldn’t place where he’d seen it before.

Whereever if was from, it was pointed at Peter now, as the madman brandished at him threateningly, “Spider-Man! What a pleasure it is to finally meet you!”

“Any chance it’s pleasant enough to change your mind about hunting me?” He had to try.

The man laughed, “Oh but you have already proven yourself! You survived my test, so now you will be given the honor of being hunted by me!”

Peter threw his hands up in annoyance, “What, so I don’t die from a bomb and my reward is to die anyway?”

“Indeed!” The answer was quick and full of cheer. “For you are being pursued by Kraven the Hunter! Rejoice, and he sure to put up a good fight!”

Peter figured that was the cue for the talking to be over, and he was proven right as the spear sliced through the air where his head used to be.

At this point, Peter had been in quite a few fights, with quite a wide array of opponents of various skill and strength. That’s why, when he realized he was fighting a baseline human, a relieved chuckle escaped him.

He couldn’t help it, after Alexei had talked the man up he had assumed… well more basically. Instead, the man was moving in slow motion to him, the hits were easily blocked by lazy swats of the hand and he barely had to rely on his spider sense at all!

“Wait are you seriously just some guy?” He blurred out as he backflipped over another spear swipe.

“I am Kraven!” Kraven yelled in outrage, “The worlds greatest hunter!”

“Yeah you mentioned something like that,” as he spoke, he gave the man a light kick to the chest.

He was sent tumbling across the rooftop, struggling to regain his footing. As soon as he did however, his eyes widened and he very narrowly dodged an arrow that zipped past Peter. Seeing as he didn’t feel his spider sense he assumed Kate had found her bow.

Kraven growled in irritation, “You dishonor yourself hiding behind allies…”

Peter blinked, “You know I’ve been kind of in that mindset for months now, and I’ve been told it’s unhealthy but now? Hearing it from you? That really puts things in perspective so… thanks for that?”

The man glared in irritation. “When you least expect it, the hunt will resume,” he stood up and dusted himself off, keeping an eye in Kate’s direction as he did so, “Until we meet again.”

“Yeah no, you almost killed a lot of people with that fire, you’re not going anywhere.”

“That is what you think!” As he roared the last word, the man threw the spear straight at peters face, forcing him to focus his attention on it as he grabbed it out of the air only a few inches from his face.

When he lowered it, the man was gone.

“Oh that’s bullshit!” Peter grumbled to himself as he ran to all four sides of the building, to try and catch where the man disappeared to. If he had his web shooters he could cover more ground, but he was also wearing only a table cloth as a mask, so it was probably for the best that he didn’t risk it.

With a sigh, he accepted that the hunter had gotten away. “Nice one Pete…” he looked down at the shiny metal spear in his hands and hummed, “At least I got something cool out if it.”

He had considered simply walking back over to Yelena’s apartment, to avoid drawing further attention, but he didn’t exactly have anywhere to stash the spear he had acquired, so he figured jumping back was his best bet.

He made his way back to the roof opposite of the apartment and saw that two familiar figures were standing in the hole he had already left. He tried to gesture for them to move, but he could barely see them and they still remained after a minute id trying.

With a sigh of exasperation he realized there was nothing else to be done. He jumped.

As he landed on the window next to his previous exit, he heard and saw Kate yelp in shock from her spot at the broken window, obviously not expecting him to reach the other side so fast. Yelena only gave him an unimpressed look before gesturing around her, “I know you only two days and already you destroy my brand new apartment. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“Uh…” he surveyed the damage and jeez there was a lot. “Yeah that’s my bad. There no way I can pay to fix it for you but uh…” after a thought, he tentatively held out the spear, “Want this cool stick I found?”

Both eyebrows raised at this as she took it from him, giving him a hand free to haul himself back into the room. He gave Kate a concerned pat only to receive a shaky thumbs up as she caught her breath and regained her composure.

Yelena studied the spear with a discerning eye, testing the weight and giving it a few practice swings. Finally she turned up look back at him. “This is acceptable. All is forgiven.”

“Did you get the guy?” Kate asked still a bit out of breath.

Peter sagged, “No. He escaped. Nice shot though, really caught him off guard.” She gave a proud grin as she nodded.

“You let him distract you.” Yelena commented idly, still admiring her new weapon.

“Well he threw a spear at my face, I feel like that’s pretty reasonable to be distracted by.”

“Well it is a pretty spear I suppose.”

“So what now? Do we go look for him? I mean he seemed pretty dangerous…”

Peter shrugged, “He was skilled, and armed to the teeth, but he was still human, douchey as it sounds, he wasn’t much of a match for Spider-Man.”

“Then he will come at you again, from a new angle.” Yelena told them, “As a former hunter of men I know thing or two about this. He will study you from afar, search for weak points, and strike whenever you are most vulnerable.”

“Great.” Peter snarked, “So I’ll just have to keep an eye over my shoulder at all times.”

“Or,” Kate spoke up forcefully, “We could stick together? You know? Like that whole conversation we were having before Alexei showed up?”

“You mean the date?”

“No idiot, the part where you should rely on other people more.”

“Oh yeah… where is Alexei anyway?”

Before either woman could answer, the man in question burst out of the back room, wearing what looked to be an uncomfortably tight Soviet version of Captain Americas costume, “Alright! I’m ready! Where is fight?!”

Peter coughed uncomfortably, a sentiment shared by pretty much everyone in the room, “It’s uh… it’s over? Were you changing this whole time?”

Alexei stared dumbfounded for a bit before cursing loudly, “Always with the changing! I must start wearing costume under clothes like all these new heroes.”

“Please don’t.” Yelena deadpanned.

“Did you at least tell him about the Revengers?” Alexei asked frantically.

Peter opened his mouth, then closed it, then opened it again, then looked over at Yelena for help.

Unfortunately Yelena was doing her level best to hide her entire face behind her hands. “Bozhe moi…”

Chapter Text

It had taken a while to talk Alexei down, then even longer for him to get back out of his costume. Eventually however, it was time for him to go.

Peter and Kate looked on in amusement as he wrapped Yelena up in a massive bear hug that she seemed to be doing her best to not enjoy, though they both saw her press a little closer when he first grabbed her.

Eventually he put her down, and she looked at him with a curious look, “You smell slightly better…”

He chuckled, “I’m glad you noticed, your mama, who I love very much, has turned into a demon who control what and how much I eat, gives me custom toothpaste and ‘extra strength’ deodorant. Did you know that they made deodorant specifically for people with super strength? It is crazy!”

Yelena allowed herself to smile in amusement, “She is taking care of you then. Take care of her.”

He grinned, “Always and forever.” He stopped, before looking over at Kate and Peter, “Sweet girl, perhaps you carry bag down for me while I have word with new friends?”

“I already told you—“

“I will not be asshole swear on my life!” He defended, “Please Yelena, allow me this?”

They stared each other down for a bit before Yelena finally relented, looking over at the others, “If he acts out you have my permission to punch him.”

They both gave her a thumbs up as she walked out the door, leaving them alone with Alexei who suddenly grew more somber.

“Kate Bishop, Peter Parker, I now leave my daughter in your care, not that she needs any of us of course. I ask only that you do your best to look out for her, in any way you can.”

“Uh, yeah of course.” Kate promised easily, while Peter nodded beside her.

Alexei approached them and put a meaty hand on each of their shoulders, “Our Yelena… she is so very strong. Far stronger than she should have to be. Like her mama and papa, she is still hurting after the loss of her sister. She will not tell you when she is hurting, she doesn’t know how.”

Peter nodded, “I think I get what your saying sir. Don’t worry, regardless of what happens I think we can make sure she’s not alone at least…”

Kate nodded, “Yeah and not to brag but, I’m pretty perceptive. If she doesn’t want to tell us how she’s feeling, I’ll just sleuth it out anyways.”

The man smiled thinly, his eyes tearing up a bit before he pulled both of them in for another hug.

“Oh! This is happening now…

“You’re a real softie aren’t you?” Kate giggled as she did her best to our squeeze the super soldier.

Alexei let them go with another laugh, making his way to the door, “I am glad to have met you, good luck with Kraven! Oh and also,” he stopped at the doorway to shoot them a dark look, “If you hurt Yelena, I will crush both heads together like melons.”

With that he was gone, leaving Peter imagining things he didn’t want to, and Kate practically glowing.

“Why do you look so happy after that?” Peter asked.

She gestured to the door wildly, “Didn’t you see? He threatened both of us! He’s learning! I just think it’s sweet…”

Peter couldn’t help a small chuckle at her positivity, before walking over to the slightly bloody couch and sitting down. “That was a long morning huh?”

“I mean I think it’s basically after noon now…”

At that Peter doubled over as his stomach chose to make its displeasure extremely well known, “I guess it’s time for lunch then huh? Do you still want to go out now or order in…”

“Nice try.”Kate grabbed his hand and pulled him off the couch. “We’re going out, I’m treating you guys, it’s gonna be great, you’re not getting out of it

“What? No!” He protested as he was dragged out the front door, “I’m not trying to get out of it it’s just… I mean there a guy hunting me out there I don’t know how safe it is…

“Boo freaking hoo. The guy tried to kill you like a whole thirty minutes ago, he’s probably not going to try again for like a couple days.”

Peter let out a snort. “Oh really? How do you figure?”

“Well bad guys that dramatic have a good sense of thematic timing you know?”

“I… wha?”

Kate rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry about it. Let’s go meet Yelena, I think we should let her choose the restaurant since we trashed her new place.”

“You don’t have to lie. I know it was mostly me.”

She turned back to him and patted him on the cheek, “Too bad, you’ve been isolated too long pal, you and Yelena. I’m going to get you both accustomed to we statements. For example, we are going to have a wonderful time on our date.” She looked at him expectantly.

He smirked impishly, “We are going to empty your wallet if you let us. Between a super metabolism and Yelena…”

“What about her?”

“Oh yeah, you were drunk by then, but she absolutely demolished whatever you put in front of her, like she’s afraid it’ll be taken away.”

Kate hummed thoughtfully, “Well challenge accepted! We’re not leaving till both of you have eaten your fill!”

“We’ll see.”

After meeting Yelena downstairs, having already seen Alexei off, they asked her what she’d like to eat.

Rather predictably, in hindsight, she reminded them that she was still very new to Manhattan, and had no idea what was around, aside from all the bars they visited together.

The two women then turned to Peter, who thought for a moment before smiling brightly, “How does burgers sound?”

A half hour later, Kate and Yelena stared dumbstruck from one side of the table as Peter practically made love to a Greek hamburger with his mouth on the other. It was the third one he’d had so far, and they’d only been sat for about five minutes.

“God I love these,” he commented, “You know every New Yorker will say a different place has the best Burger, but as someone who regularly swings across all five burrows, it’s this one.”

“Riiight.” Kate drawled out, giving her own burger an apprehensive poke.

Yelena on the other hand, took a much braver sniff of her own, before shrugging and digging in. A moment later a scandalous moan erupted from the blonde. Kate watched in a tiny bit of horror as her two companions began ravaging their meals in a savage display. “Wow…”

Peter paused from his meal, looking at her with sauce plastered on his cheek and his mouth half full. “Everything okay? You haven’t touched yours…”

She looked at the burger, then at the rather dingy looking establishment that has produced it and chose her words carefully, “I was just… surprised is all. When I offered to treat you guys, I thought you’d go for something more expensive…”

Peter tilted his head in confusion, with one cheek puffed with food, looking for all the world like a puppy mid meal, “I did… these burgers are like thirty bucks a piece…”

Kate blinked. That was expensive?

Yelena took that moment to come up for air once more, “Wow, you were not kidding.”

Peter pointed a finger at her with a delighted expression, “You like it?”

“Mhmm…” she responded, already going back for more.

Soon Kate began to feel a bit left out, but every time she looked at the sloppy, greasy burger she couldn’t bring herself to reach for it.

Peter seemed to notice her plight, giving her a reassuring smile, “Hey if you don’t want it you don’t have to eat it.”

She started a bit at the call pit, “No! No I’ll eat it I just… need a minute.

Yelena let out a disapproving hum as she swallows her bite, “Is no use Peter, Kate Bishop is high class lady you see. She has been raised spoiled by high quality cuisine.”

Kaye huffed, “I am not spoiled! I just… come from a different financial situation… and I’m used to different looking food…”

“I don’t think she meant it in a bad way Kate,” Peter chuckled.

“Of course not, Yelena agreed, “As I say you are high class, is very desirable trait, all it means is we must keep your special needs in mind.” She began unwrapping a plastic utensil packet.

“I don’t have special needs!” Kate hissed indignantly, while Yelena swiped her plate and began cutting into her burger.

A moment later the fork appeared in front of her mouth with a chunk of burger on it, causing her to flush scarlet as Yelena prodded her mouth gently, “Close your eyes and open up Kate Bishop.”

“We are in public…” she responded tersely.

“And?” Yelena countered.

“And it’s embarrassing!” She hissed, “what if someone sees? Also I’m not a baby!”

“You could be my baby.” Yelena flirted without missing a beat.

Kate could only squeak in response.

“Damn,” Peter commented as he watched it all unfold, “That was pretty smooth.”

“It was very good yes?” Yelena smirked at him.

“Don’t encourage her!”

Peter sighed, “You know Yelena she’s right, you shouldn’t treat her like that.”

“Oh?”

“May I?” He asked gesturing to the fork.

Kate watched in shock as her supposed rescuer took the fork from Yelena, before standing up and performing a ridiculously flamboyant (and unfairly graceful) bow to her, ending with the burger hovering once more before her face. “Your dish, milady.”

Yelena stood up as well, “I see, so I do the hand, and the spin and then…”

“This is bullying!” She whined as Peter repeated the movement again for Yelena to copy. People were definitely looking now.

“Just close your eyes , take a bite, and don’t think about how greasy it is.” Peter pleaded, “I promise I’ll stop then.”

Kate tried to glare them into submission, but it was a doomed endeavor. She huffed, “Fine.”

She closed her eyes she bit down on the bite offered to her. She chewed for a bit, before brightening up and opening her eyes, “Wow…”

“Right?” Peter smiled as he took a seat. She was going to respond but she noticed Yelena still stood waiting patiently.

“You said-“

“He promised to stop. I did no such thing.” She suddenly pursed her lips and took on a pouty demeanor, “Unless you only let him do if he says you like him better?”

Kate knew Yelena was putting on show for her, she knew it with every fiber of her being.

But damn it if it wasn’t a good show.

Chewing grumpily, she glared at the two as Yelena took her seat once more. “You guys suck, it’s not fair to team up and embarrass me like that.”

“Oh do not be so dramatic Kate Bishop you know it is done with affection.”

Peter cleared his throat, “Well I was also doing it cause I felt bad for Yelena getting humiliated by her dad but yeah affection too.”

Kate clamped her mouth shut to trap a snicker as Yelena looked at him with wide eyes as a theatrical gasp escaped her, “Betrayal!”

“Now who’s being dramatic…”

“I see how it is Peter Parker. See if I ever team up with you again!”

Kate clapped her hands once to get their attention before they could spiral any farther, “I have an idea! Why don’t we go around in a circle and say something interesting about ourselves that the others probably didn’t know! I’ll go first: I am in college studying for a bachelors degree in Business Administration, so I can eventually take over my mothers security company…” she frowned, “Which might be happening sooner rather than later now that I think about it…”

Feeling depressed for a moment, she looked up and saw the others concerned looks, “Shit sorry I just immediately ruined the mood. Uh, Peter you next, something not sad please!”

“Are you sure?” He asked.

“Yep! Im fine just go!”

Hd didn’t look convinced but complied all the same. “Alright well, I guess I’ll follow your lead, I’m studying to hopefully one day earn a doctorate in biotechnology. With all the advancements that have been made recently I think there’s a lot of good to be done in the field.

“Ah, so you are nerd then?” Yelena asked.

“I mean-“

“Oh my god he’s the biggest nerd.” Kate confirmed, ignoring his eye roll, “You should see him in class, he looks at everything like it’s the most basic two plus two equals four shit, meanwhile I’m still struggling to remember what covalent means.”

“It’s when both atoms share electrons…” Peter muttered automatically, before flushing as they both looked at him in amusement.

“So how smart are you exactly?” Yelena asked, as she leaned forward and took a sip from her drink..

Peter winced at the question, “I don’t really like to quantify intelligence, I mean it’s like Einstein said right?” They looked at him blankly, “…You shouldn’t judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree.”

Kate looked at Yelena, “So really smart I’d say.”

The blonde nodded thoughtfully, “Indeed, probably too smart for simple College Chemistry yes?”

Kate frowned, “How do you know what class we’re in?”

“I did light online stalking of him, remember?”

“Oh yeah,” she looked back at Peter, “she has a point though, I mean you seem like you’re kind of bored…”

He let out a sigh, “Well you’re not wrong. Thing is when the spell happened it erased Peter Parker and his academic history.”

“Oh shit!” Kate gasped.

“So if not for spell, where would you be in education?”

Peter shrugged, “That kinda has a few answers. Physically I would be at MIT, class-wise I don’t even care to remember. In terms of my actual, practical education… well Tony was teaching me about nanotech before he died.

“Ah,” Yelena intoned, “So not just nerd, but super genius nerd. Very nice.”

“That’s actually kind of scary,” Kate added, “Smart enough to keep up with Ironman, and strong enough to overpower super-soldiers…”

“Mmm.” Yelena agreed, “That was very hot.”

“Look it’s not that big a deal,” Peter deflected, getting a bit overwhelmed with the praise, “I’ve just had a lot of luck and access to better resources than most, that’s all. Yelena? How bout you? What’s something we don’t know?”

The former assassin thought for a moment, before looking away as she mumbled something out.

“What?” Kate asked.

“…I like clothes.”

Both younger adults blinked at the unexpected answer. Peter was the first to inquire, “Like wearing clothes, making clothes or…”

“I’ve never tried making clothes.” Yelena continued, slowly, as if waiting for them to start laughing, “I made a few modifications to some stuff, mostly adding pockets-“

“The lords work.” Kate nodded.

“-but besides that nothing. I haven’t been free to decide what I wear for most of my life for obvious reasons, since I have been liberated, I’ve found it’s been among the things that bring me the most joy.”

“Yelena that’s awesome!” Kate exclaimed, grabbing one of Yelena’s hands as she spoke, “Have you thought of ever doing anything with it or is it just like a hobby? Which would be totally valid by the way.”

Yelena shrugged a bit uncertainly, “Is just first thing that come to mind.”

“Hey no pressure or anything.” Peter assured her, “But for what it’s worth, what I’ve seen of your fashion sense has been pretty spectacular, you sorta tend to pop out in whatever room you’re in.”

“In a good way!” Kate added on.

“Yeah of course!”

Yelena was studying her plate intensely, the corner of he’d look twitching a bit, “That is actually not a good thing for an assassin you know.”

“Well then its a good thing you’re not an assassin anymore!” Kate reminded her, while nudging her shoulder playfully.

Finally the smile managed to break free across Yelena’s face, bringing a slight blush along with it. “No I am not.”

Peter smiled at the scene, before a realization over took him and he let out a groan, “Oh man… I have to make a brand new suit again don’t I? And web shooters…”

“You do not have back up?” Yelena asked, while Kate rubbed his shoulders but with concern.

“Well I was going to make some back ups, but I’m still saving up money for the right materials. If there’s enough left though I could probably get enough to just patch it this time…”

“No way!” Kate denied, “You can’t go swinging around looking like Frankensteins spider! I can help out, just tell me what you need.”

“Kate I can’t ask you to-“

“Dude, I’m literally rich and offering. If it makes you feel better think of it as me doing it for all the people you’ll be helping when you’re back out there.”

“I… yeah okay. Thank you, I’ll make it up to you…eventually.”

“You’re welcome, if you’d like you can make it up to me by making me one of those web-shooters to swing around on.”

“That… might not be the best idea…”

“Aww, why?”

“Kate bishop.” Yelena cut in, “If you or I were to jump off a building, then shoot a web at the last moment to swing, what do you think would happen? Keeping in mind that you don’t have super strength and are traveling at terminal velocity?”

Kate did think about it, then cringed as she realized the answer, “Oh! Ow! Yeah no, never mind forget I said anything.”

Peter snickered a bit, “Yeah the super strength is kinda the only thing keeping me together. It’s a great workout though. I bet I could make you some sort of web bomb arrow though, could be a great nonlethal crowd control.”

She hummed noncommittally, “I guess, it just looks so fun though.”

“Well… I could take you sometime, web swinging I mean.”

“Like with you carrying me?”

“Y-yeah, I’ve done it before, usually with victims, getting them out of harms way. Though to be honest most of my passengers are either screaming or throwing up the whole time…”

“Is this exclusive invite or can anybody join?” Yelena asked.

“Oh! Yeah gosh sorry I didn’t mean to leave you out or anything.”

“It’s a date then!” Kate proclaimed.

Peter blinked, “A date. Another date? I just want to-I’m all for it don’t get me wrong but I just want to check the collective verdict -“

Kate cut him off with a giggle and raised her hand up, “Alright, we’ll put it to a vote. All in favor of continuing as a throuple raise your hand.”

Peter slowly raised his hand as well, looking as if he were reaching into a cookie jar expecting to be caught. They both turned to look at Yelena.

She leaned back in her chair and stared off in thought, “Hmm, let’s see… a pretty young thing…”

“Hey…” Kate protested bashfully as Peter chuckled beside her.

“…and a rich girl…”

“HEY!” Kate protested vehemently as Peter blushed beside her.

She tilted her head back and forth before signing and raising her hand. “You twist my arm, I am in.”

Teasing aside, the younger pair smiled widely as Yelena struggled and failed not to do the same.

“Tat settles it then.Tight.” Kate nodded.

Yelena burst into giggles while Peter joined in with a fist bump, “Noice.”

“So what now?” Yelena asked when they calmed down, “I mean for day plan, I have to get started on apartment repairs.”

Peter looked at the clock and winced, “I have to get to work, then probably get a look at the suit, see what I can get started on with the repair. Man this is gonna suck, I can probably get it done in a few nights, but I get all anxious thinking about skipping patrol that long, especially with that Kraven weirdo running around.”

Kate winced, “Yeah speaking of which, is it really a good idea for you to go to work on your own? He said he’d strike when you least expect it so…”

“I don’t know if he even knows about Peter Parker yet, but even if he does I gotta pay rent.”

“Well you know I could-“

“Kate.” He cut her off with a sincere smile, “I like you, I really do, but I don’t think my pride could handle having a sugar mommy right now…” he flushed red as he stuttered out, “N-no matter how sweet you may be.”

Kate flushed to match him. “O-oh… okay.”

Yelena on the other hand held out a fist for him to bump, “Shaky delivery but well played all the same.“

He returned the bump sheepishly, “It wasn’t too cheesy?”

“It was cheesiest thing ever but Kate Bishop loves cheese so is fine.”

“Kate Bishop is still here you know.” Kate Bishop grumped, before an idea hit her, “Hey… Would the work go faster if you had a professional helping you?”

Peter tilted his head, “Yeah probably but who… oh!”

“Hey everyone! It’s MissCosplay here coming at you with a very exciting video, which I know isn’t saying much for a sewing tutorial channel but trust me okay!”

The video showed the (normally much more composed) LARP enthusiast practically bouncing in her living room as the sound of a sewing machine whirred in the background.

“So you know I how posted about meeting Spider-Man Christmas Eve and none of y’all believed me? Well read it and weep losers!” The YouTuber grabbed the camera as she spoke and spun it around to see a leather clad figure with a balaclava hunkered over the sewing machine, working hard on a familiar red and blue costume. “How’s it going Spidey?”

The figure turned to reveal the mouth of the mask sewn shut and the eyehole covered with tinted goggles to fully cover the man’s face, “Uh, pretty good? Thanks again for helping me out Missy, you’re really saving me a lot of hassle here.”

The camera turned back to Missy, “No problem friend, thank you for finally upholding that promise you made Christmas Eve that I totally wasn’t lying about.”

“Y-yeah sorry about that. I’ve been kind of busy you know?”

“I suppose I can forgive the superhero. Anyways I know you guys are going to be screaming at me for not streaming this, but Spider-Man insisted for security’s reasons or something. Hey Spidey why can’t you stream again?”

“Oh uh, someone’s currently hinting me for sport.”

“Wait wha—“ the video cut out before playing a later recording.

It now showed Missy hard at work on the body of the suit, “Sorry about that guys, but you heard him right! Some maniac in a weird lion outfit is causing trouble for our favorite web-head, so if you spot him do us all a favor and give him what for!”

“Wait what? Don’t tell them that!” The camera turned to see Spider-Man sitting cross legged on the ceiling working diligently on his mask as he looked down at the camera, “Hey so to whoever watches this, please do NOT try to approach anyone dangerous like that, just run the other way okay?”

“Speaking of running the other other way,” Missy spoke from off camera, “I just got a text from one of the guys in the group chat, he’s a fire fighter and he wanted to say thank you for helping out with the fire, but wished you would work with the authorities a bit more. Any response to that?”

Spider-Man paused his work for a moment before continuing, “Look if I had it my way I wouldn’t step foot in another fire again, but sometimes things get out of hand, and I’m capable of surviving situations that the NYFD can’t. If I think they have it handled I’ll leave them to it, but if I think people are in trouble and I can stop more lives from being lost, I’m going to do it. That said I’m always happy to coordinate with the authorities when possible.”

The scene cut again to show Spider-Man having just pulled on his newly repaired mask. Missy’s voice came from ground he camera, “How’s it fit?”

“Like a glove.” The hero responded, “Thanks again Missy. And to any viewers, make sure to like comment and subscribe to support her content! … Diddid I say that right?”

A thumbs up appeared in front of the camera before the video ended.

Pepper sighed as she stood in the door way to her own garage, watching Karen hover over the replay button. She was in her human disguise again, apparently wanting to master it to better move through society, or so she claimed.

“You know he’s not going to pop out of the screen if you keep replaying it sweetie. He’s not you after all.”

Karen didn’t turn around, but Pepper didn’t take offense. She knew the AI had known she was there the whole time, “I was simply analyzing his speech patterns to try and assimilate a match.”

“Right.” Pepper drawled, “Karen, you know I like having you around here, god knows Morgan loves having you around here, but I’m staring to wonder why you’re stalling.”

Karen did turn around now, a small frown etched on her otherwise ethereal face, “He has gotten much better at dodging technological tracking methods. I imagine Tony would be proud.”

Pepper sighed, “I’m sure he would, but that’s what your body is for isn’t it? Heck that’s what all the magic stuff you learned is for right? Honey, be honest, why haven’t you gone to find him yet?”

Karen was silent for a time, before turning back to the video, “He… when I woke up in the bay…”

“Oh Karen…”

“I know it wasn’t on purpose, he probably thought the spell had destroyed me or ruined me, I know he wouldn’t just abandon me like that on purpose. I know it…”

“But?” Pepper asked.

“But what if he did?!” Karen looked at her without tears but no less distress, “I don’t know! I can’t remember! And it’s an endless loop of flawed and incomplete logic and I just-“ she was cut off as a pair of arms wrapped around her, stimulator the artificial nervous system her father had gifted her.

“You’re uncertain.” Pepper soothed as she stroked her artificial hair, “That’s normal Karen.

“Not for an AI.”

“I think we’ve established that you and your sister are a bit more than just simple AIs by now. Now listen, you can stay with us forever if that’s what you want, but if you’re keeping yourself from finding Spider-Man because you’re afraid he won’t want you, then you should stop it. Even if by some infinitesimal chance that that is the case, he wouldn’t deserve you anyway and do you know what you’ll do then?”

Karen pulled back and looked into the woman’s eyes, “What?”

“Whatever the hell you want. You were made to help Spider-Man but you’re existence isn’t dependent on it Karen, Tony never wanted that for you or your sister.”

The synthetic woman looked down as she pondered Peppers words, “I… I’m scared. But of the few things I remember about him, I remember that he never truly needed me. I just made things easier. I have a lot of plans for that, and I want them to all be ready before we meet again. Is… is that okay?”

Pepper smiled at her, “That’s fine as long as it’s what you want.”

“It… it is.”

“Okay then.” Pepper unwrapped herself from Karen and made for the door, “Just do me a favor and try doing something for yourself from time to time? Just to see how it feels? Your life doesn’t have to revolve around Spider-Man.” With that she left.

Karen looked back at the hero on the screen, before smiling and turning it off. Pepper was right, her life was her own to do with what she wished.

And if she wanted to make herself into the most formidable partner in spider themed heroics, well that was her choice now wasn’t it? Peter could wait a little bit longer, he was strong.

She would be strong enough that he would no longer have to be.

Chapter Text

Empire State University was home to many different laboratories, ranging from large industrious facilities, to tiny, classroom sized rooms like the one Kate and Peter were currently borrowing.

As far as they could tell, the room hadn’t seen use in a few years, though it still had plenty of spare equipment, which Peter was guiltily but gratefully helping himself to.

“So how exactly is this stuff going to be different than what you’ve been using?” Kate asked idly. She was posted at the door as lookout, but the sight of her new boyfriend fluttering about the lab in a lab coat like a mad scientist was proving too interesting to ignore.

Peter didn’t look back as he answered, keeping his eyes on the test tube he was swirling around in the air, watching the contents react to one another, “Well I’ll be reinforcing the molecules to increase heat resistance, which in turn will lend itself to possible emergency fire retardant. It’s also cheaper, in that I won’t be wasting as much excess now that I have proper tools, and of course the tensile strength will be increased significantly.”

“English Pete.”

He snorted, “The webs will be stronger. I didn’t use that much science jargon did I?”

She shrugged, “Not really, I kinda just wanted to try out ‘Pete’ see how it feels. Thoughts?”

He chuckled, “Its just a letter off, not much difference in my opinion.”

“Then you won’t mind Petey either? It’s just one letter changed.”

“I mean whether you use it is up to you, but whether I respond it is up to me.”

She giggled for breath, “Alright then, what would you prefer I call you?”

“You can call me,” he did pause his work then , only to turn towards her and shoot her a finger gun and a smile, “anytime.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah I know right?”

“And to think, there’s no Yelena in sight to give you a fist bump.”

“We’ll surely you don’t think that’s all we do it for?” He asked slyly.

That was the tipping point, and the blush Kate had been fighting against broke through. “Dang it…”

Peter let out a small cheer in victory before returning to his work.

Kate huffed in defeat, before a naughty thought occurred to her, “Hey Peter…”

“Yeah?”

“You know this door locks right?

He hummed as he hunched over the counter, “Well yeah, but you never know who has keys.” He then seemed to pause and look back, “Oh! You’re probably bored just standing there the whole time huh?”

That wasn’t what Kate was going for, but she ran with it anyways. “Yeah actually, sorry I know this is important-“

“No no!” He protested, “I mean it is, but so are you! To me… I can wrap this up soon and find some way to make it up to you?”

She shrugged, “You could. Or…” she began to stalk towards him slowly, “You could make it up to me now.”

His eyes widened and she saw him visibly gulp, “But ah-the-ah-the door?”

“I’ve been watching the hall for half an hour,” she assured him, “No one’s coming down here.“

“Oh.” He rasped out, his eyes large and frozen on her as she walked up into his personal space, before stopping just there.

“You know,” she began trailing her hand up and down his bicep, silently admiring its lean solidity, “when I guy locks himself in a room with a girl, he usually has more on his mind than science.”

The pink began to creep up his neck as Peter swallowed again, “Kate I would never-“

“I know,” she cut him off with a finger to his lips, “you would never use a situation like this to take advantage of me.” She leaned in closer, past his mouth, so that her breath hit his ear as she whispered, “If only I could say the same.”

His whole body seemed to shiver, and she was delighted to feel the prickle of goosebumps along his arm as she continued to stroke it lazily.

She pulled back, and kept their eyes locked as she slid her knee firmly in between his legs, effectively pinning him against the counter. “Close your eyes Peter.”

“Kate I-“

“Close. Your. Eyes.” She intoned kindly but firmly. He obeyed, his eye shut tight, and his face had fully flushed as she effectively trapped him like prey.

Smiling, she moved forward, inching their mouths closer and close, until he could feel her breath on his lips now, and they pursed in anticipation…

“Make me blush for fun will you?”

His eyes snapped back open to see her vicious smirk. “You…”

“What is going on in here?!”

The pair broke apart clumsily at the sound of a new voice at the door. They barely managed to stay on their feet before turning to see their professor standing in the newly open door, looking anything but impressed.

“Doctor Connors!” Peter spoke first, “It’s not what it looks like!”

“It looks like you’re using university resources to conduct unsanctioned experiments!” She hissed as she stomped up to where all the web fluid was synthesizing. “What is all this?”

“Wait! Please don’t touch that it’s almost done!” Peter intercepted the taller woman, standing between her and the chemicals with a panicked expression.

To her credit, the professor simply took a deep breath to compose herself, “Mr. Parker you have one chance to explain why I shouldn’t call security right now so I suggest you make it very good.”

Peters mouth opened and closed several times likes fish out of water. Kates heart went out to him, Peter was good at many things, but lying just wasn’t one of them. Thankfully he had her.

“It was my idea!” She spoke up, gaining both their attention, “I was the one who convinced Peter to help me with this.”

“And what exactly is this?” Connie’s asked.

“Web fluid,” she answered, ignoring Peters alarmed expression, “It’s for Spider-Man, he ran out recently and he needed someone to make him more.”

“And why exactly did he need your help?”

Kate clears her throat, “Well, I know this might be a bit hard to believe but I’m actually-“

“Miss Bishop,” Connors sighed as she put her hand in her hip, “I’m well aware that you’re a hero, the new Hawkeye or so they say. I do read the news and I’d be a rather poor teacher if I failed to realize a superhero was sitting in my classroom. What I want to know is why he came to you and not another one of the Avengers.”

Peter seemed to regain his composure and answers before Kate could, “F-from what I understand, the one who used to make all of Spider-Man’s web fluid was… Tony Stark…”

Even the professor winced at that, “I see. But that still doesn’t explain why you dragged Peter into this Miss Bishop. And why in our lab?”

“Well Peter’s really smart,” Kate explained, “and to be honest I didn’t think you or any of the staff would believe me.”

“And the lab was my idea,” Peter cut in once more, “When Kate brought it up to me she wanted to do it at her apartment but I insisted we do it in a safe controlled laboratory with all the proper equipment. I… I’m sorry, I was just trying to do the right thing.”

Connors looked between them for a moment, as if searching for lies, before eventually relenting with a put upon expression, “May I see it?”

Peter blinked, “What?”

“The fluid, I’d like to check your work to make sure you haven’t created a potential health hazard for the rest of the school. Unless you’d prefer I go ahead with calling security?”

“That’s okay!” Peter quickly moved out of her ways “Uh… have a look I guess?”

The older woman smoothed down her rather spiffy blouse-lab coat combo (and was Kate into lab coats now?) and took one of the test tubes to examine its contents under a microscope.

“Well you haven’t created poison so that’s good… hmm, I suppose that would be good for elasticity… what does he use to fire this if you don’t mind me asking? Some sort of compression based delivery system?”

Peter blinked, “Well yeah actually, uh do you want to see?”

“You have it here?”

“Yeah it’s in my bag give me a second!”

Soon the minutes began to blur as Kate watched Peter wow their professor with his designs with no small level of amusement. She has been joking about misunderstanding him earlier, but as they began firing questions back and forth she truly began to lose track of what they were talking about. The concepts were far more advanced than anything she had cared to learn.

That said, she knew Peter was having fun. She could tell that much just by the sparkle in his eyes as he conversed with someone actually smarter than him, though only barely and not for long if she were to bet. She realized with a start that Peter used to hang around the likes of Tony Stark. He must have been starving for someone to actually challenge him intellectually.

“Peter, don’t take this the wrong way,” Dr. Connors finally said, “But why are you in my class?”

The younger man frowned in confusion, “What do you mean?”

“I mean you’ve obviously got a stronger grasp on science than some of my own colleagues! Why are you taking a simple introductory course when you could be leagues ahead?”

Kate shared a wince with Peter as he rubbed the back of his neck, “Well when I… moved to Manhattan, there was a mix up with my academic files.”

Connors narrowed her eyes, “What kind of mix up?”

“The kind where it was lost entirely? I had to get a GED, basically start over from scratch… are you okay?”

As he explained, Connors seemed to get visibly tense as her jaw set firmly, “Am I okay? Why are you- no! I’m not I…” she paused to take another deep breath as she noticed the worried looks on her students faces, “I am not mad at you, either of you. I am simply upset that someone’s incompetence has thrown a brilliant young minds education and future into disarray!”

“Ah,” Peter said quietly, “Yeah I wasn’t stoked either. It’s okay though, I’m making do, things are just going a bit… slower than I’d anticipated.”

“That’s not-“ The woman cut herself off with a huff, “I apologize for losing my composure, but I cannot let this stand.”

“What do you mean?” Kate asked

“Well there’s not much I can do in terms of restoring you’re academic records,” she responded regretfully, “But I may be able to provide you with some more hands on opportunities that may lead to some exceptions being made. How would you feel about an internship?”

“Wha-really? With you?”

She nodded, “Im currently employed at a private lab, working on something potentially revolutionary. I’ll have to consult my employer first as the nature of our work is highly secretive, but if I can get you in I promise it will be worth your while.”

Peter gaped at her, “Wow uh… I mean you don’t have to try and sell me on it that sounds incredible! I’m just not sure… with my job and-“

“He’ll do it!” Kate cut him off.

“Hey!”

“Dude I’m not going to sit here and let you watch an opportunity like this pass you by! I’m sure you can work it out time wise and if not I can spot you for rent if it comes down to it.”

“You know I can’t-“

“You can and you will!” Kate insisted, “Please Peter, don’t let pride hold you back here, it’s not worth it, and you don’t need it, not with me.”

The two had a momentary staring contest, before finally Peter groaned, “You’re right… thank you.”

“I know and you’re welcome.”

“So it’s settled then?” Connors asked somewhat awkwardly.

“Right yeah, if you could make that happen Dr. Connors I would be so very grateful.”

“I’ll see what I can do.” She smiled slightly, “Now I believe you’re finished in here yes?”

Peter looked over his work and saw that all the fluid was done synthesizing, “Looks like it.”

“Then I suggest you make yourself scarce. Everyone in the science department sneaks in here to snag spare equipment, that why I caught you.”

Peter gave Kate a look, “‘No one’s coming down here’ huh?” She only stuck her tongue out in response before making her way out the door.

Peter quickly gathered his things and made to follow her, only to be stopped once more, “Mr. Parker.”

He looked to see Connors giving him a scrutinizing look, “Yeah?”

“Don’t think I missed what was going on when I first walked in here.”

His face lit up once more, “Oh! Uh you see that was-“

“None if my business.” She mercifully supplied, “But I just want to make sure you agreed to all this superhero business for the right reasons.”

He frowned, “The right reasons?”

Connors but her lip contritely, “Mr. Parker, you’re a brilliant young man, I know that now for certain, but you are also, well, a man. If she’s coercing you—“

“Oh!” He blurred out, “You mean-because of the- no! Kate’s not like that, I mean we were.. you know, but that only started after I agreed to help!”

The woman seemed relieved, “Alright then, I’m sorry if I overstepped.” An amused expression formed, “I’d just hate to see my former admirer get his heart broken.”

“Oh geez, you haven’t forgotten that yet?” He cringed at himself.

Connors couldn’t help but let out a laugh, “I doubt anyone in class has forgotten, it was rather memorable.”

“Oh god, I swear I thought I recognized your last name and thought it was your husband so I- and that just sounds misogynistic, I’m Just gonna stop talking now.”

“Ah well, that’s kind of relief. For a moment I was hurt that you had traded me for someone younger and more attractive, but alas I was never in your sights to begin with.”

Peter sputtered incoherently, “Wha-no! I mean yes! Sorry-no I wasn’t ever trying to hit on you, but that doesn’t mean I don’t find you attractive, not that I’m hitting on you now I just didn’t want you to-god I really need to commit to shutting up.”

“Relax,” she assured him, just a touch pink herself though he failed to notice it, “I was only joking, though in hindsight it was rather inappropriate of me. Go on now, I’m sure Miss Bishop is waiting for you.”

He stuttered a few more apologizes before complying, leaving the woman alone, though not before she called out: “Room 2334-A is never used, just FYI.”

He smiled back at her before exiting the room.

As he moved to meet Kate near the entrance however, her words finally began to process and a frown appeared on his face, and if stayed there when he finally met up with his girlfriend.

“What’s wrong?” She chirped, “Connors didn’t yell at you after I left did she?”

“N-no…” he decided in that moment that his girlfriends did not need to know about the conversation he just had, “I just… Kate there something I’ve been meaning to tell you about Dr. Connors...”

Later that afternoon, Yelena found herself alone in Kates loft apartment, watching a MissCosplay sewing tutorial on her laptop while practicing her form with the new spear she had been gifted. She didn’t know what the thing was made of, but whoever made it had done an extraordinary job. She was itching to put it to the test.

Her moment of zen was soon interrupted however, as the front door began to jingle.

In a flash the laptop was closed and the spear was rested lovingly against the wall as she went to the door to open it. It swung open to reveal Kate with he’d key frozen in place, Peter stood behind her awkwardly. “Kate Bishop! Welcome home! Hello Peter!”

She got an uncertain wave from Peter as Kate followed her in with narrowed eyes, “You broke into my place again?”

“Yes.” She answered easily as she picked the spear back up and returned to her spot.

Kate seemed to wait for further explanation, sighing when she didn’t get one, “Okay then, should I just get you a key or something?”

Yelena let out a short laugh, “If you’d like, but it’s hardly necessary Kate Bishop! Still is nice gesture, thank you.”

“No problem.” Kate muttered.

“So how was day?” Yelena continued, “Did everything go smoothly at the lab? Web shooters are ready now?”

Peter cleared his throat, “Well in reverse order: yes, not exactly, and I’m not sure yet, depends whether Kate forgives me or not.”

“Oh boy.”

“I’m not that mad at you!” Kate protested, “I’m just a bit irritated.”

“Do I even want to know?”

Kate crossed her arms and looked at Peter pointedly, who sighed and explained, “So basically, we got caught by our professor in the lab, but she was really cool about it!”

“Okay…”

“And after she saw my work, she was impressed and offered me an internship at her work, which Kate convinced me to accept.”

Yelena struck out again, enjoying the metallic shwing that rung out from it, “Okay, so what is bad part?”

“Well as we were leaving, I remembered that I hadn’t told you guys that I’ve been kinda keeping an eye on Connors, because… you remember the giant lizard guy I told you about?”

After he explained what Peter 3 told him about the male Connors, and the worrying similarities with Catherine, Yelena stopped her exercise once again to walk up to him and flick him on the forehead.

“Ow!”

“Are there any other characters that might possibly turn into giant lizard mutants that we should know about?”

“No… pretty sure it was just the one.”

“Good.” She looked at him a moment, before putting a hand on his head and gently bending it down a bit so she could place a light kiss on his forehead where she flicked him, “There, all better now.” She patted his cheek for good measure as she turned away like nothing happened

“Thank you?”

“So what’s your plan,” Kate asked from where she leaned on the kitchen counter, “just keep her company and whisper non-lizardy thoughts in her ear?”

“Maybe?” He shrugged, “She hasn’t even told me what her work is yet, with any luck if might not be about lizard DNA at all.”

“Never count on luck.” Yelena chided, “You especially Peter Parker, your luck is terrible.”

“I… can’t argue there.”

“There’s not much we can do about it now.” Kate decided, “But you know what we can do?” A gleam of excitement formed in her eyes.

“Order food?” Yelena suggested hopefully, “You are all out of Mac and cheese.”

The brunette faltered a moment, “Well… yeah we can do that first, but after that, I think we should help Peter test his new web shooters.”

“Uh, maybe let me test them myself before carrying you with me?”

“Didn’t you make the last pair out of parts you found in the garbage?” Kate asked.

“Well yeah but-“

“Then this brand new pair you made with actual quality materials should be perfectly fine.”

“I… fine we’ll see.”

“Wait shit, that sounded totally manipulative didn’t it? I didn’t mean-“

“I know what you meant,” Peter assured her with a laugh, “And even if you were it’s not that big a deal. You did pay for really good materials, and I should be more confident in them. So, I take it you want to go first?”

Kate brightened up and very obviously wanted to say yes, but stopped herself at the last second yo look to Yelena, “Is that okay?”

“Kate Bishop can go first,” Yelena agreed easily, “she is most excited and I couldn’t bear to see the pouty look on face if I take it from her.”

“I-I wouldn’t pout!”

She received two identical looks of disbelief, and huffed in annoyance, “You guys need yo stop teaming up on me.”

“Stop being easy target,” Yelena shot back with a smirk.

They ended up getting pizza, a different brand than Peters work, much to his relief. They ordered a single pie for Kate and Yelena to share as well as three more for Peter to have his fill. Kate once again tried to spot the bill, but was surprisingly shut down by both of them.

“Why do you care if I pay or not?” She asked Yelena.

“I don’t.” She answered, “But unless you are trying to become a findom, you must let others pay from time to time. Plus Peter’s manly ego can only take so much.”

“Hey! Also what’s a findom?”

“Oh well you see-“

“I get it!” Kate cut her off hurriedly, and that was end of discussion.

Soon afterwards Peter was suited up and admiring the far sleeker pair of web shooters he now sported, when Kate descended from the upper floor dressed casually. “Ready!”

He looked at her a moment, “Uh… where’s the Hawkeye outfit?”

She frowned, “I didn’t realize we would be patrolling…”

He blinked, “We’re not, I mean if I see something happening obviously I’ll do something but—“

“The outfit is more form fitting!” Yelena called from her spot lounging on the couch, “It will decrease wind resistance as well as greatly enhance your rear.”

“Okay that’s not what I meant either,” Peter frowned, “Although the thing about your butt is accurate...”

“I knew y’all were looking!” Kate whispered happily, “But seriously though why the suit?”

“Well I’m just worried that of people see you swinging around with Spider-Man in normal clothes they may think we’re dating.”

“Are we… not dating?”

“You’re dating Peter, unless you want to try and come up with a reasonable explanation why you’re dating both Peter Parker and Spider-Man, who are never seen in the same place, then it might be a good idea to remain professional while heroing, at least where people can see us.”

“… fine I’ll go change.”

“You are actually quite smart when you put effort in huh?” Yelena commented from the couch as Kate trudged back up the stairs.

“Why do you have to sound surprised by that!” Peter defended playfully.

“You should have seen him in the lab today!” Kate called from the second level of the loft, which Peter was very carefully avoiding looking at, “He was whirring around like a madman, and that lab coat! Hoooo mama!”

Peter chuckled and shook his head as Yelena popped her head up to examine him by the door. “I cannot see it. Peter you will wear one for me as well yes? I must see what is all the fuss.”

“It’s not a-it’s meant for lab safety. Also am I being objectified right now? Is that what I’m feeling?”

Yelena shrugged, “In good way.”

“That logic seems problematic.”

Kate practically leapt down the stairs once more, now in her classic back and purple, “Alright, better? Yes? Good let’s go!”

“Kate Bishop! Come here first!” Yelena called out.”

“What is it?”

“Just come here!”

Kate sighed impatiently but did as requested, leaning in the back of the couch, “Yea-mmmh!”

As she came within range, Yelena utilized her decades of training in subterfuge and combat to slip past Kate’s guard and pull her into a deep kiss. She then utilized the same skills with her tongue for about thirty seconds before finally letting the girl go, albeit a more dazed than before, “Whaug…l

“There. That is all.” Yelena nodded.

“Wha-wha-wha-what was that for?” Kate stuttered as her brain struggled to reboot.

“I wanted one last kiss in case Peter accidentally drops you.”

“Oh. That’s… sweet?”

The blonde shrugged, “You mostly tasted like pizza, but still better than when drunk.”

Kate squeaked indignantly as Peter uncertainly cleared his throat, “Hey uh, do I get one of those?”

“Of course. After you bring Kate Bishop back without dropping her on ground.”

“Aw man! Can’t I drop her a little?”

“Hmm, I suppose one freebie to be fair but no kiss if more than once!”

“Or just don’t drop me period!” Kate suggested irritably.

“So picky …”

Kate rolled her eyes before moving to the door, “Whatever, come on let’s go!”

“Hang on! Let me ask you something first!” Peter laughed as she tried to rush out the door past him.

“Whaaat?” She whined impatiently.

“What’s your favorite buildings in New York?”

It was a no brainer.

“Woooooo!” Kate cried out as she rested comfortably in Peters arms, bridal style, whilst he casually defied the laws of physics by sprinting up
The side of Avengers tower.

The tower might not have belonged to the Avengers anymore, but other than that not much else has changed. From what Kate understood, Tony had sold it dirt cheap to the city, who immediately began making plans to turn it into a world class hotel and tourist attraction. It was still Avengers tower though, at the end of the day, and she always wanted to be able to stand at the top.

Of course she’s imagined the top floor, working side by side with her fellow Avengers, but standing at the very peak of the structure with her superhero boyfriend holding her steady was pretty great too.

“Pretty great view right?”

Kate realized she had been silently staring off into the city below as Peter spoke up. “Oh! Uh yeah it’s incredible. I’m just… thank you.”

He seemed to hesitate for a moment, before steeling himself and wrapping his arm fully around her, pulling her closer to him, “Any time. Honestly this isn’t my first time up here.”

She’s got him a sly look out of the corner of her eye, “Really?”

“Yeah I was bored one week so I decided to climb to the top of all the tallest buildings in New York. Obviously I couldn’t pass up this one. It was pretty cool until one of Mr. Starks drones nearly shot me off the side, he was so pissed.”

She giggled as he laughed at the memory. “So, is this the move then?”

He looked at her fully with one mask lens narrowed, “The move?”

“Yeah you know! Take a girl up to the top of her favorite building, balanced precariously, only you keeping her from falling to her death, and then…”

“…Everything you just said sounds like a lead up to a murder, but I’m choosing to believe you have something else in mind.”

“That would be a wise choice.”

“You know I still owe you something for that stunt you pulled back at the lab. You complain about us teaming up on you but seems to me like it’s our only safe option.”

She smiled impishly, subtly pressing her form even tighter against his, “You may be right about that.”

He took the hint and shifted them so they were facing each other, “You know, I kinda thought I didn’t need moves.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Everyone needs moves Peter, and everyone has them, whether they realize it or not.”

“Even you?”

“Uh, yeah? My move was to get wasted and make out with both of you.”

“Not sure that counts.”

“It worked, so it counts.”

“Hmmm,” he hummed as he wrapped his arms behind her back, her arms automatically moving to do the same, “In that case I think I just thought of one.”

“Uh oh, should I be worried?”

He shrugged, “Depends. Do you trust me?”

“You are so just copying Aladdin right now.”

He chuckled but held firm, “Come on, tell me. Do you trust me?”

She bit her lip to fight the smile breaking out, “Yes.”

“Close your eyes.”

She did so, and her heart began to hammer as she heard the fabric of his mask shifting, followed by his breath free to reach her lips. She waited only a second before deciding screw it and tilting forward.

Turns out, kissing was better when neither party was drunk. It was also nice to take the lead, as much as she may have enjoyed Yelena’s earlier ministrations, she often felt most comfortable in charge, and Peter seemed more than happy to oblige her.

She embarked on a daring exposition into his mouth, wondering only for a moment if she should worry about some kind of venom gland. Spiders were venomous right? Her thoughts were short lived however, as she noticed that the breeze flowing through her hair had suddenly kicked up several hundred notches.

Her eyes shot open to see that they were now falling down the side of Avengers tower, upside down, head first.

As she finally pulled her lips off of Peters she saw a dopey grin left he hind. “Man you really know how to knock me off my feet…”

“PETER!” She screeched, though her voice was ripped away by the wind in an instant.

He only smirked, reached up to pull down his mask, before shifting her to his side, which she instinctively wrapped her arms and legs around like a baby koala.

With a thwip their direction changed as the web line sent them flying back up into the air and for a split second they were floating, high above the city lights below.

“Good move huh?” Peter asked.

“Great move!” She admitted with joy filled smile, and then they were falling once more.

As the pair swing through the city, Kates voice echoed out, “Let’s jump of the Chrysler next!”

A few hours later there were still a bit adrenaline-drunk and giggling like idiots as they walked to Kates front door, Peter having already changed on the roof.

“So all in all a good date?” He asked as they stopped at the front door, “I didn’t even drop you!”

“You didn’t let me hit the ground.” She corrected with a playful bat on the shoulder, you still threw me around enough times.”

“You loved it.”

“I did.” She smiled before pressing their lips together once more.

When they pulled apart again Peter had an even dopier smile than earlier. “Tonight, went a lot better than I thought it would.”

Kate took a step closer, “It can get even better.”

She reveled in the way his face shifted and flushed in surprise and bashfulness, not that she was joking in the slightest. “That’s… tempting, really, I’m just not sure I’m ready for that, like mentally. Plus I mean Yelena’s still here and I’m not sure how’d she feel about it-“

“Always so responsible,” she rolled her eyes, “buuut you make good points. I get it, there’s no rush.”

He let out a breath, “Okay cool.”

“Are you heading home then?”

“I’ll come in and say bye to Yelena first, but after I’m gonna do one more swing around the city before tucking in.”

“Seriously? This late?”

“Crime doesn’t run on my schedule, believe me I’ve checked.”

She sighed, “I kind of feel like I’m shoeing it in, I mean you go out every night, while I take a few nights off.”

“You don’t have super healing and enhanced stamina. Not to mention a normal person wouldn’t be able do what you do at all.” He places a comforting hand on her cheek as he tilted their foreheads together with a teasing smirk, “You’re more than enough Kate.”

She smiled, then gazed into his ptetyh eyes, then they were kissing again because it’s really fun. She absentmindedly realized they should get inside and unlocked the door with one hand.

The door swung open while they were still embraced, so they were both a bit surprised when they heard, “What the hell!?”

The pulled apart worriedly, only to see Clint Barton sitting at the kitchen table, Yelena sat across from them, playing cards arranged between them, and a one eyed dog wagging happily at his feet for her part Yelena simply waved with a knowing grin, “I take it the date went well?”

“Uh…”

“Y-yeah.” Kate answered as they crept into the apartment in confusion, idly petting Lucky as he ran to greet her, “Clint? What are you doing here?”

“I said I would come visit, do some training with you.” He pointed out, “imagine my surprise when my attempted murderer answered your door, and proceeded to refuse to answer any of my questions. It was just ‘she’s out’ and that was it.”

Kate and Peter looked at Yelena questioningly.

“It wasn’t his business.”

“Which is fair. I have no interest in your dating life, but why is she here? Are you roommates now or something?”

A nervous giggle slipped out as Kate answered, “Or something.”

“Oh that reminds me,” Yelena spoke up, “You are unharmed yes?”

“Uh yeah, not a scratch.”

“Well a promise is a promise,” she stood up and began making her way towards Peter, “come here.”

Peter took a step back, “Uh Yelena, I don’t think miss the right-oh okay!” He was ignored as the former assassin took him by surprise by grabbing and dipping him as she began to devour his lips.

Kate watched this happen, then had to quickly remind herself that Clint was still here and she could not just enjoy the show.

Clint, bless his heart, was looking between her, Peter, and Yelena with ever increasing confusion, before he seemingly just gave up, “I hate this city…”

Chapter Text

Yelena was still making out with Peter when Clint finally regained his composure. He pointed as he looked at Kate, “Uh… are you going to do something about that?”

She glanced over at the two before quickly centering he eyes on Clint, “They’re fine.”

“So… he isn’t your boyfriend?”

“No he is.”

“And you’re fine with her…”

“He’s her boyfriend too.”

He blinked in surprise, “Wow… and you get along?”

“We’re also dating, it’s a pretty mutual exchange.”

He looked back at them as Yelena finally came up for air, and Peter just barely managed to avoid falling over as she swung him back to his feet. “That’s… really? Yelena?”

Kate frowned defensively, “What about her?”

“She tried to kill us.”

“She tried to kill you, and I thought you two made up afterwards.”

“That doesn’t mean I wanted her at family thanksgiving!” He hissed quietly.

“Why would-“

“Laura has it in her head that you’re part of the family now.” He admitted reluctantly. “And if you’re dating her then… well you get the idea.

“Wow. And you disapprove?”

“…”

“I knew you liked me.”

“What can I say, you grew on me.” He shrugged, “Like a fungus. Look, can you at least promise me she’s not killing people anymore?”

“Uh…”

“Not professionally at least.”

Both Hawkeyes jumped as Yelena materialized behind them like a ghost. “Dang it Yelena!” Kate scolded.

“God is it a family thing?” Clint wondered aloud.

Yelena tilted her head as Peter cautiously approached in the background, “How do you mean?”

Clint shook his head in irritation, “Natasha would always try and scare me like that at every opportunity. Eventually we made a game out of it, calling it a ‘training exercise’ if anyone else called us out.”

Yelena seemed to take a moment to properly internalize this new information, allowing Peter an opening to walk up and hold out his hand, though Kate noticed it was a tad reluctant, “It’s uh, it’s a pleasure to meet you mister Barton.”

Clint eyed the hand a moment before taking it firmly, “You seem familiar, haven’t we met before?”

Peter gulped at the question, looking to Kate, who only shrugged indicating it was up to him.

He considered not telling the former hero, but seeing as Kate was practically part of the family now, he figured it would be a fruitless endeavor at the end of the day. “Well, actually we have. You see sir I’m-“

“You’re the dorky pizza delivery guy!” The older man suddenly exclaimed.

Peter felt all his steely resolve rush out of him in an instant, “Uh yeah. That too…”

The archer was ignoring him once more, looking at Kate incredulously, “Seriously? You tracked him down?”

Kate gasped indignantly, “What? No! How thirsty do you think I am? We have a class together!”

“Okay first of all don’t use ‘thirsty’ in my presence, I don’t know exactly what it means but I’ve heard my kids use it and I’m terrified to learn.

A look of horrified realization appeared on Kate, “God you’re old…”

“Second of all, class? Really? Coincidence like that in this big a city? Come on Kate.”

“Uh…” Peter tried to speak up.

“I’m really not liking what you’re insinuating here!”

“What do you expect me to think?” Clint argued back, “You were fawning all over him after he left! Look it’s not that embarrassing kid. Sometimes great relationships start with some light stalking, that’s how Laura and I met.”

Peter frowned as he was ignored again, “Excuse me! I really think… wait fawning?”

“I didn’t stalk a pizza guy Clint!” Kate yelled red faced, “And I’m really insulted that you think I would!”

“I’m not judging-no one here is judging you Kate! I’m just saying—“

“HEY!”

The two archers looked to see Peter glaring lightly at them with his arms crossed. He was also standing horizontally on Kates wall. “Can I talk now.”

“W-urgh.” Clint responded.

“Right sorry.” Kate had the good grace to look apologetic.

“Thank you.” Peter said before walking down the walk back to the floor, a graceful yet mind-bending maneuver to watch. “Look Mr. Barton, Kate didn’t stalk me. We do have a class together which, statistically, is very unlikely, but I have weird luck you know?”

“You’re Spider-Man.” Clint stated in disbelief.

“Yeah there’s also that.” Peter sighed, “Look could you like not tell anyone about that, historically it doesn’t really end well for me, and I just started feeling like my life is getting back in track so I’d really like it to stay that way.”

“Uh, yeah sure.” Clint nodded still looking unsure, “And the whole pizza incident that was really just—“

“Another coincidence.” Peter nodded, “I know, chances seem slim, but after a radioactive spider bite gave me powers I learned to reevaluate my stance on luck in general.”

“I need to lie down.”

“That is good idea.” Yelena spoke up, “Let us give old man the night to wrap his head around our simple arrangement. It is getting late after all. I suppose I will have to get hotel room…”

“You’re place still isn’t done?” Peter asked guiltily.

“Most is, just the giant broken window remains.”

“Yeah sorry again. I’d offer my couch but I don’t… have one.”

“Oh? And your bed is also off the table then?” The blonde teased.

Peter, to his credit, took it for the tease that it was, but still blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, “I mean, you could if you want. Not like- well you know. It’s a single so sharing isn’t really possible. I could take the floor, or make a web hammock.”

Yelena smiled as she grabbed her spear off the wall, “Very chivalrous, but I think I will stick with fancy hotel room. Also every time you talk of your living arrangements it concerns me.”

“Yeah well, I’m poor in Manhattan, concern is the default.” He joined her in waking up to a bemused Kate in order to give her a hug. Unfortunately they moved in at the same time, which devolved into a cartoonish contest is politeness, each allowing the other to go first, until finally Kate groaned and snagged them both in a group hug.

“This works best.” Was all she gave in explanation. They had no counter, and gave her a kiss on each cheek on unison before heading out, leaving her grinning from ear to ear.

“Can I walk you to a cab?”

“Ah, you will protect me from all the big bad men in New York yes?”

“I mean obviously you don’t need it… but I could anyways if you’d like?”

“Hmm, we’ll see.”

Kate shook her head at the banter as she locked the door behind them, before turning to Clint. “So yeah, a lot has happened this month.”

“I can see that.” He murmured, a conflicted look marring his features.

“Now what?” She groaned.

“It’s just… the new Hawkeye has more game then me? I don’t know if I can accept that, I might have to find someone else to bear the bow.”

“Do you want my couch or not?”

“Fair enough.”

The night after that went pretty fast, though the explanation was pretty long. There were still some points that Clint was skeptical about, like the whole magic part, but he didn’t say too much about it.

And of course, Lucky didn’t give a hoot what they were talking about, he was just happy to be there, and even happier that Peter left a few slices of pizza behind.

The next morning sue had class, which allowed her to coordinate with Peter, who she only just realized had yet to give his civilian number.

When she brought it up he just blinked like the thought had never occurred to him, and she was unhappily reminded that he had previously condemned himself to a life of crushing loneliness.

She grabbed his phone before he could say a word, and after forming a group chat with Yelena they planned to meet in the late evening, after Kate had some time for lessons from Clint. He had come all this way after all, and jerk or no, she was still her hero.

At the end of class they went their separate ways, but not before Dr. Connors informed them that she’d scheduled a conference with her employer, and that she’d have a confirmation for Peter the next day regarding his internship.

“They’re gonna say yes.” She assured him as they walked the halls together.

“It’s okay if they don’t.” Peter laughed nonchalantly, “It would be cool if it worked out, but I’m not pinning all my hopes and dreams on it you know?”

She sighed inwardly before looking at him seriously, “They’re gonna say yes.”

“They don’t… if you say so Kate.”

As they parted for the afternoon, Peter was busy planning a patrol/date with Yelena, who was very eager to test her spear. Kate was busy pondering ways to get Peter more invested in his own future.

Lessons with Clint started as soon as she got home. At first she was bored out of her mind as he reviewed basic equipment maintenance, most of which she already knew, but it quickly turned fun as he began teaching her how to make trick arrows on her own. She had picked up a few things during their time together at Christmas, but back then he didn’t have in depth explanations on how it all worked, how best to put them together, and even where to get the best materials.

“Where did you learn all this anyways?” She asked him, “Did Iron Man teach you?”

He gave an extremely offended look, “I’ll have you know I’ve been in the gadget game long before Tony even put on that suit. I taught myself everything I know.”

She raised an eyebrow, “Even the Pym Particle arrow?”

“I’m allowed to accept gifts.”

She snorted, “It’s a shame you don’t have any more of those, Peter would probably have a field day studying it. He’s probably love all of this.”

He studied her a bit as they practiced the bola arrow, “He a gadget man too then?”

“More like super genius.” Kate gushed, “He designed his web shooters, and his web fluid, and he was basically Tony Starks apprentice!”

“He told you all that?”

She blinked and looked up at him, “Yeah, why?”

“Those web shooters of his, where’d you say he got the material for them?”

She frowned and put down her tools. “What exactly are you trying to say?”

Clint sighed and ran a hand through his hair, “Look I’m not trying to say he’s a bad guy or anything like that.”

“Good, cause you’d be wrong.”

“But,” he continued pointedly, “I think it might not be the worst idea to consider the fact that he might be… manipulating you.”

Kate sputtered in disbelief, “In what way is he manipulating me Clint?”

“Just look at the facts kid, he’s had you buy him a new suit, a new pair of toys, what’s next you gonna let him move in with you?”

The idea had crossed Kates mind, briefly, though she screamed at herself not to move too fast and scare the guy off. “Peter hates it when I buy him stuff! I literally have to convince him to let me!”

“Jesus listen to yourself!” The man scoffed, “That’s how these guys work! They mess with your head, trick you into thinking it was all your idea!“

“And how would you know?”

“I was a spy Kate,” he reminded her, “for a long time. I literally was that guy!”

“If you don’t like him Clint just say so.”

He tree his hands up in defeat, “Fine! I don’t like him.”

“Why?”

“Because everything about him is suspicious!” Clint hissed, “You say that he’s reluctant about the relationship yet he’s still in one with two women! You say he’s poor but you also say he was Tony’s protégé. You really think if that were true Tony wouldn’t just throw a billion just-in-case bucks at him?”

“Even if he did the spell-“

“Right, the magic spell that made everyone forget he existed? Come on!”

Kate crossed her arms as she leaned back to glare at him, “Well what about Yelena? She was a spy, if Peter is really pulling a fast one why hasn’t she said anything?.”

He winced uncertainly, “Eh more assassin than spy. And I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but being brainwashed for twenty years hasn’t exactly left her in the greatest shape.”

“Of course I’ve noticed!” Kate shouted, surprising herself with her own volume, “She barely knows anything about herself! The best I’ve gotten is that she’s really good at killing people, and she likes clothes. And Peters barely any better! He’s basically decided that it’s everyone else in the world first and Peter Parker last, because every time he puts himself first it blows up in his face, occasionally literally!”

“Kate all I’m saying-“

“I get it!” She cut him off, feeling an unpleasant mixture of annoyed and embarrassed of the tears forming in her eyes, “I know things look bad, and maybe even are a bit. But I’ve actually taken the time to look past that with them, and both of them are so much better than either of them are willing to admit! And they like me Clint,” the last bit she choked out as sobs began to wrack her form, “and I like them both so much and I want to help them but I don’t know how and I just—“

The rest was incomprehensible as she devolved into crying, and before she realized it, Clint was on her side of the table, wrapping her in a big warm hug that she somehow knew was the product of tears comforting his own three children.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered softly.

“Can you at least give them a chance?” She snuffled into his shoulder.

He pulled back to look at her, “Kate you’re a grown woman, you make your own choices, I never meant to imply otherwise. You say the word I’ll give then as many chances as you want… within reason.”

She let out a short laugh as Lucky padded up to lay his head in her lap, whining softly, “Thanks.”

“Look maybe I should have kept my mouth shut, but I just feel like I owe it to you to give you my two cents. Probably not the best time to remind you but there aren’t many people out here for you to rely on, you know with…”

“My mom in jail?” She finished dryly whine scratching Lucky behind the ears.

He grimaced, “Yeah. The point is that that’s all it was, my two cents, filtered through several decades of espionage and crazy shit I don’t want to even think about anymore that left me with a crap ton of trust issues.”

She sighed, “Okay. I… get it. Thank you. I’m gonna ignore it this time though.”

“Yeah I kinda figured.”

She wiped her face, smiling in embarrassment, “Sorry for freaking out on you.”

“It’s okay,” he said evenly, “sounds like you needed to get that out.”

“Maybe.”

“You have my number you know, and Laura’s. Either one of us would be willing to talk to you about anything on your mind, or even if you’re just looking to talk to someone.”

She smirked, “So I’m not blocked anymore?”

“It’s a fluid arrangement but right now, no.” He smiled back. “Now, you ready to get back to this or you want to take a break?”

“… I’m kinda feeling wiped out after that. Can we just watch a really stupid movie before patrol?”

“See now you’re shooting straight kiddo.”

“…Remind me why I idolize you?”

A few hours later they were in much better spirits and much better outfits in Kates opinion. She had been hoping against hope that he would bring the matching Hawkeye outfit with him, but when he actually pulled it out she had nearly shed a new round of joyful tears.

“So just to be clear, you will be nice to them right?” She asked as they waited on a rooftop for Peter and Yelena to meet them.

“I’ll be civil.”

“You’ll be nice.”

Before their bickering could devolve any further, a shrill voice filled the air. They looked up to see Spider-Man swinging in, with a white clad figure wrapped snugly in one arm.

The shrill cry turned out to be delighted cheering, which settled into laughter as Peter landed lightly on the rooftop in front of him, allowing Yelena out of his grip to stand on her own. “That was very cool! We will do that at least once a week.”

“Fine by me.” Peter agreed in amusement.

Clint squinted at her, “Isn’t that the Winter Widow uniform?”

It did look like it would do well in a snowy environment, being pure white aside from the black of her holster apparatus, belt and widow stingers. She also kept her spear fastened tightly on her back.

“Yes.” She answered.

“Not exactly stealthy in an urban environment…”

Peter cleared his throat, drawing attention to his red and blue clad figure, “Stealth isn’t really the goal with this.”

Yelena gave him a grateful smile, “Thank you! Also I have been making modifications. Mostly just tightening it up to be more form fitting, so as to properly accentuate my body,” she glided her hands smoothly down her hour glass figure in demonstration. Clint scrunched up his face, immediately regretting having asked about it at all.

“Not that I’m complaining,” Kate’s started, and she really wasn’t. “But… why? Just a preference?”

Yelena raised an eyebrow, “If I am to assist you and Peter in your heroic crusades, and you will need all the assistance you can get, I must look the part. Can you name me one female superhero whose costume doesn’t show off their body in some way?”

Kate opened her mouth, then thought for a moment, “I… cannot. Myself included, wow.”

“Plus it doesn’t wonderful things for my ass, I see now why Natasha always preferred it like this.”

“And there it is.” Peter sighed in tired amusement.

“You are one to talk, Mr. Spandex.”

“Maybe we should focus on more important, less awkward-for-Clint subjects?” Clint finally interrupted, “like fighting crime?”

“Right, sorry.” Peter apologized, despite not being at fault in the slightest, “uh lead the way I guess?”

“Oh no.” Clint chuckled, “This is your town kid. Kate tells me you do this every night so you take point, show me you know what you’re doing.” He winced out the last bit as Kate elbowed him in irritation.

For his part, Peter seemed far more comfortable with that arrangement.

“Alright then? Try and keep up!” He turned and began running towards the edge of the building.

Clint scoffed, “No need to slow down on my account.”

“He was talking to all of us.” Kate told him with a smirk as she ran after him.

Clint frowned in confusion until he saw Peter leap high over the edge of the building, easily crossing the distance of the street below, while simultaneously spinning back and firing a web from the stairwell entrance of their building to the lower roof of the one across the street. Clint was a bit perplexed by this move, until he saw Yelena leap right after him, using her spear to hook onto the web-line and ride it like a zip line. Kate followed soon after using her bow.

He, far more cautiously, followed suit, saying a quick prayer as he flew through the air, until he landed safely on the other side.

“Isn’t that stuff supposed to be sticky?” He asked as he sprinted to catch up with the other three who hadn’t even slowed down.

“That was a new formula variant I was testing!” Peter called back, “had the idea when Kate and I started patrolling together. It’s cool right?”

“Very cool!” Kate called out.

“That was a test!?” Clint cried in shock.

His outrage was ignored however, as they continued on their trek through the city. Clint would never admit it, but retirement has a way of slowing one down a bit. So it was to a small amount of shame that he felt relief whenever they stumbled upon a crime.

And there were a lot of crimes to be found. As an Avenger, street level crime was never the priority. As the Ronin, it was more of a procedural dismantling of criminal organizations, rather than random patrolling. So Clint was a bit embarrassed to admit to himself that he really didn’t know the ‘rules’ of street level vigilantism

Turns out there were only a few: civilians first, bad guys second, and no killing.

That last one wasn’t a problem for Clint, despite his time as Ronin, or even as an Avenger . Non lethal force was rarely an option when faced with world destroying threats, but he was a SHIELD agent even longer and a good one at that. He knew how to incapacitate without doing unnecessary harm.

That also seemed to be Peters personal prerogative. Clint barely saw the younger man touch the criminals, mainly relying ON his webs. Kate had mentioned briefly that he hated hurting people, but it was sandwiched between two other love-struck factoids so he didn’t pay it too much mind.

The image was shattered however, when they came across a woman surrounded by men in an alley, half her clothes already ripped away.

There was no plan, no coordination, everyone in their little party just started moving forward as fast as they could, which of course meant Peter got there first.

The first man was slammed into the wall of the alley so hard he simply collapsed on the spot. The rest weren’t so lucky.

By the time the others caught up, the rest were down in varying states of pain and consciousness, and not a web hung in sight.

“Kate,” Peter spoke with a heavy edge in his voice, pointing to the crying woman who still pressed herself against the wall like it was the only thing holding her up, “Could you?”

“On it.” The young archer ran to the woman to begin ushering her out of the alley, whispering comforting words and holding her tightly as she did so.

Upon seeing Clint’s curiosity at the act, Peter cleared his throat, “They uh… sometimes they don’t take well to me trying to help them after… that. The mask is sometimes enough to help them forget that I’m a guy too, but not always. Kate has been a big help with them during the past few weeks.”

Clint nodded grimly, “I take it you deal with a lot of these?”

“Way too many.”

“They got what they deserved.” Yelena stated simply as she judged one of the groaning cretins with her foot, “They are still breathing but I suppose it is good enough.”

“I like to think they’ll get what’s coming to them in jail.” Peter responded, “Also killing is bad.”

“Even these guys?”

“Unfortunately.”

She hummed, before holding her spear out over the groaning man and allowed the blunt end of it to drop onto his groin.

To their surprise, and her delight, the man began screaming bloody murder as visible arcs of electricity sparked from where the end of the spear made contact. Yelena lifted it after a BBB moment stare at her gift in awe.

She spun around to look at Peter, “Why didn’t you tell me it could do that?! That’s so cool!”

Peter was confused as her, “Uh I didn’t know. Is there a button or…”

Yelena looked back down and dropped the spear again, on the man’s stomach, more screams filled the air until she picked it back up, “No button, k think it’s just automatic, neat.”

“Yelena,” Clint was weirdly serious as he spoke up, “Let me see that spear.”

Yelena frowned and clutched it closer to her body, “No.”

“Wha- I’m not trying to steal it from you! Just let me see it!”

“It’s mine, Peter gave it to me!”

“Yelena,” Peter spoke up before things could escalate further, “he seems pretty serious, do you think you could let him hold it? Just for a few minutes? I’ll make sure he gives it back after.”

Yelena didn’t move right away, but it was obvious she was struggling to deny Peter, especially with the look he was giving her, an impressive feat with a mask covering his face.

“You will punch him if he does not?”

“I doubt it will come to that, but if it makes you feel better then yes, I promise I will punch him.”

“Easy now.” Clint warned testily. Peter only shrugged helplessly in response.

Finally, and with a large amount of reluctance, the blonde handed over the spear to the older man, “Do not scratch it.”

“Yeah yeah.” He waved her off as he began examining it.

Kate took that moment to jog back into the alley, “Sarah’s all squared away, we’re good to go… did I miss something?”

Before anyone could answer, Clint turned and smacked the spear hard into the wall of the alley, holding it up to his ear afterwords to listen to the metal resonate.

“HEY!” Yelena’s eyes flashed and she would have moved to snatch it back had Peter not jumped between them with his arms up,

“Clint please give me a really good reason to be defending you right now.” He pleaded.

Clint simply swore under his breath before turning to them, “This is Vibranium.”

That elicited wide eyes from all present. Even Yelena forgot her anger for a moment as she looked at her spear once again in newfound appreciation before snatching it away from Clint, who only scoffed.

“Are you sure?” Peter asked in awed wonder.

“I’ve spent more time around Steve and that shield of his than most kid, I know what Vibranium looks and sounds like. What are you all doing with a Vibranium spear?”

“I told you,” Kate spoke up shakily, thoroughly spooked by the nervous edge in her mentors voice, “That Kraven psycho attacked Peter with it.”

“Yeah he threw it at me and just-“

“Disappeared?” Clint scowled, “God damn it… you’ve been played! We need to get to somewhere secure.” He began moving out of the alley

“What why?” Kate exclaimed, reaching for his arm to slow him down, “Clint hold on a minute and just tell us what’s going on!”

“There’s only one outfit I know that uses Vibranium spears as standard issue, and they’re not real keen on sharing,” he answered, before turning back to the end of the alley. “We need to get out of here before… oh shit.”

They followed his gaze to the entrance to the alley, where the bright street lights flooded in, though now it was cut with five imposing silhouettes, all with shaved heads and matching combat uniforms, and a very familiar model of spear in each hand.

“You will surrender now!” The one in front commanded voice heavy with an African accent, “and subject you’re self to imprisonment and questioning.”’

“Or what?” Yelena questioned before anyone could stop her.

The five spears were pointed towards them in an instant, “Or you will face the wrath of the Dora Milaje while holding the spear of our fallen sister,” the leader’s eyes narrowed dangerously, “I suggest you choose wisely.”

Elsewhere, on the other side of the city, a small private lab housed a single scientist, who was nervously tittering around a laptop as a video call dialed.

When it finally connected, a cacophony of noise assaulted Catherine Connors as her employer struggled to talk over the disturbance. She couldn’t make anything out and tried to indicate so with her hands. Eventually they got the message and disappeared for a few moments, the noise stopping abruptly.

Virginia ‘Pepper’ Potts reappeared with a haggard expression, “Sorry about that Cathy, my lovely daughter was urging one of her sisters to… well I doubt you’d even believe me.”

Catherine cocked an eyebrow, “I thought Morgan was an only child.”

“You could say I’ve adopted.”

Catherine wanted to know more but resolved to stay on track, “Listen Pepper, I’m afraid this is neither a social call nor a breakthrough… yet.”

“Oh? Then what is this about?”

The doctor took a deep breath, “I would like your permission to hire on an intern. Before you say anything, I just want you to know that I haven’t lost sight of the importance of this project, nor the importance of its secrecy, but Mr. Parker has shown such an aptitude for biomechanics and chemical application that I can’t help but feel he would be a huge asset! Plus to be perfectly honest his situation is unfortunate and I can’t help but feel—“

“Cathy!” Pepper cut her off in amusement, “You can hire him! It’s okay.”

Catherine blinked, “Really? Just like that?”

“Cathy why do you think I chose you, out of all of Stark Industries science personnel to help me with this project?”

“Well I assumed it was my great aptitude for this particular branch of-“

“It’s because I trust you.” Pepper stopped her with a laugh, “And yeah all that other stuff too, but of all the lessons I’ve learned in this business, the most painful of them was who to trust.” She grimaced a bit as if remembering something unpleasant, “I’m also a much better judge if character now, and we’ve known each other for years. If you think you’ve found someone trustworthy enough to work on this with you, I believe you.”

“Oh,” Catherine responded, her throats tad tighter than before, “Well I … I appreciate that Miss Potts.”

“Pepper.”

“Not a chance,” she fired back automatically. She may not care for her own titles too much, but Pepper Potts was one woman who deserved proper respect, “I suppose I can tell him the good news then.”

“This is a student of yours?” Pepper asked.

“Yes, one of my Chemistry students, far far ahead intellectually. There were some problems with his records, it’s really stifled his progress so I thought this could be beneficial to him.”

“I’m sure it will be,” Pepper smiled, before holding up her hand and staring at it reproachfully, “Just tell me. Are you absolutely certain he can be trusted, after all,” as she spoke, her hand began to glow a fiery orange as heat distorted the air around it, “This will be my husbands last gift to the world.”

Catherine thought about it, really thought about it, because there would be no going back, “I … am. I’ve learned things about him that lend me to believe he has a strong sense of morality and responsibility, though you’ll forgive me if I don’t share it, it’s rather sensitive information.”

“Oh good.” Pepper, chirped, “you’ll have something to hold over him in case he does try something. I always did think you’d make just as good a businesswoman.”

Catherine chuckled despite herself, “Perhaps. Shall I send you his file?”

“If you’d like, I kind of have my hands full right now. I’m sure I’ll meet him eventually anyways.”

“Of course.” Connors smiled, “You had a good evening then Miss Potts.”

“By Cathy.” She sing singed back.

The call ended and Catherine was left with a foreign sense of excitement in her chest. It made sense, she had been working on this project alone for nearly a year, with steady gut slow progress. Just having another set of hands would certainly speed things along, or rather just one person with a full set.

However, she had a strong feeling that Peter Parker would bring much more to the table than extra limbs. The boy had potential, she would be sure to help him find it.

Chapter Text

Peter struggled to keep his head from spinning as his life threatened to derail wildly out of control once more.

“We surrender!” he shouted to the Dora Milaje before anyone else could say otherwise, “We don’t want to fight! This is just a , we’re on the same side!”

“Kid you never just surrender right away,” Clint scolded tiredly, “You’re supposed to negotiate first.”

“While they’re pointing weapons at us?” Kate asked nervously.

“Especially then.”

“Drop the spear!” The lead warrior barked impatiently.

Yelena, unfortunately, was doing no such thing. “Why should I?”

Peter began to sweat, “I’m pretty sure the implication is that they’re gonna skewer us Yelena.”

“They can try.”

“You have ten seconds!” The leader warned.

“Damn it just drop the spear!” Clint called back, “If we give it to them they might let us go!”

“No!” The blonde snarled, “It’s mine! The Spider gave it to me!”

“And I won’t be offended!” Peter chimed I’m desperately.

“Yelena, someone’s going to get hurt.” Kate spoke up, fear heavy in her voice as she turned to look at her girlfriend with wide eyes, “Please?”

Time seemed to drag out as everyone watched Yelena in anticipation. She seemed to feel it as the conflict warred heavily in her features before she let out a small scream of frustration and set the spear on the ground. “Fine.”

They kept their arms raised as the Dora Milaje stomped forward, but to their surprise, they only moved to restrain Yelena.

“Hey what are you doing?!” Peter exclaimed.

“She will be taken before the Wakandan Royal family for judgement.”

“But I told you! It’s a misunderstanding! The spear isn’t ours!”

A sharp glare was sent his way, “That much is obvious outsider! She is known to us as an extremely skilled assassin. Regardless of your words do you truly think us so naïve as to discount her as a murder suspect?”

That’s when it clicked for Peter. “I know who the murderer is!”

All heads turned to him, the leader simply narrowed her eyes, “Oh? And can you produce them?”

“W-well no, but-“

“Then we will proceed according to plan.”

Peter gritted his teeth, “Fine, but if you want to take her, you’ll have to take me as well. I’m the one who gave her the spear after all.”

“Spider…” Yelena growled.

“You really think I’m just going to let you go alone?” He asked in disbelief.

“You would if you were smarter.”

“Enough!” The leader snarled, “The matter is irrelevant,” as she spoke, Peter suddenly felt the two spears prodding him in the back. How hadn’t he sensed them approaching? “The Royal family has their own questions for you Spider Man. Do not resist.”

“I’m literally the first one who surrendered!”

Kate took that moment to speak up, “I’m coming too!”

“Kate!” Clint hissed.

“You also claim involvement?” The leader asked.

“I mean I was there when the psycho we got the spear from attacked so yeah. You can like, interrogate us separately and see we all have the same story right?”

“This isn’t a cop show Kate!” Clint protested, “These guys don’t play around!”

Kate ignored him, “Also Clint just got here today, he had literally nothing to do with this.”

“Kate!” Clint seethed.

“If they take all of us, who is going to take care of Lucky?!”

“Is he seriously the priority right now?”

“Always!”

The older archer looked ready to strangle something as he wrestled internally with her logic. Eventually he turned to the leader, “Look, Ayo right?” She only nodded slightly, “You guys know me. I was-am an ally to your king. I can’t come with but I don’t exactly have his number, can you just… tell him I vouch for them? These three are idiots but they’re not murderers, or at least if they were they’re retired.”

Ayo inclined her head once more, “The King will hear your words Clint Barton.”

Peter noted that this didn’t seem to assuage Clint’s worried in the doubters as Yelena, Kate and him were swiftly put in wrist restraints that felt way stronger than regular police issue. Something told him even he wouldn’t be able to break them apart.

They were led to a nearby apartment building, mercifully not encountering any residents as they were led up the staircase to the roof. There, a large eerily silent aircraft sat idle, door open and ready for them.

“Inside.” Ayo ordered impatiently.

“Isn’t this like super illegal?” Kate asked aloud, as they were walked up the ramp, “You know? American airspace, kidnapping US citizens?”

“I’m not a US citizen.” Yelena corrected casually.

“W-well I mean surely you had a green card or-“

“No. I am here very illegally.”

“And technically vigilantism doesn’t put us on the legal high ground either.” Peter added. He also technically wasn’t a US citizen anymore, but it didn’t seem the right time to bring that up.

They were shown to their seats and buckled in securely, their hands bound above them so they couldn’t mess with their seatbelts. Ten minutes later they were in the air and a mile out behind Manhattan.

“Well,” Peter spoke up glumly, “Of all the ways I worried about tonight going wrong, this honestly wasn’t one of them.”

“Oh yeah?” Yelena spoke up beside him, her eyes bored as she swayed back and forth with the turbulence, “What did you imagine?”

“Well I could have dropped you, I could have embarrassed myself in front of Clint, that Kraven guy could have shown up, or he could have set another fire.”

“Well I don’t think you have to worry about embarrassing yourself in front of Clint,” Kate assured him from her spot across from the two, “That first meeting was probably as bad as it gets. I doubt you could do any worse.”

He snorted, “Yeah well give it a bit longer, I have a habit of surpassing expectations.”

“That I believe.” Yelena smirked.

Kate couldn’t contain a laugh as well, but soon turned serious, “So Kraven, he planned this right?”

“Sure seems like it.” Peter murmured.

“It smells of fish,” Yelena stated, “if he wanted to frame the murder on someone why Peter specifically? If his goal is still to hunt him, his work just got much more difficult.”

“I mean it sounds like that’s what he’s after.” Kate mused, “You don’t put your sights on Spider-Man if you’re looking for some pleasant recreation.”

“Yeah but this has got to be overkill.” Peter frowned, “With the rate this thing is going, feels like we’ll be across the globe in just a few hours. Unless he’s got his own super jet I don’t know how he’s gonna follow us, if he even knows what happened…”

None had an answer.

The trip from there was anything but luxurious, though Peter noticed that of the three of them, Kate seemed the least uncomfortable. When he asked her about it however, all he got in explanation was: “At least it’s not a rocket ship…”

He wasn’t really sure what that meant, and he decided he didn’t want to.

A bit later, Kate broke the silence once more, “So… Yelena…”

“Yes?” She answered, spooking Peter greatly as he has been sure she was asleep with how quiet and still she was.

“Can we talk about back there? You know… with the spear?”

“What about it?” A defensive tone reared its head. Peter rushed to calm her down.

“I think what she means is you got a little … overly defensive of it, in our eyes at least. It looked like you were getting ready to fight them all before you gave it up.”

“I was.”

Peter blinked, “W-what? Why?”

Yelena paused before turning to him with a perplexed expression, “It is a gift. You gave it to me.”

Kate looked just as confused as Peter felt, “That’s going a little overboard though, don’t you think?”

Yelena frowned, “If someone you care for gifts you something, you are to take care if it yes?”

Peter caught Kates eye, and a terrible understanding passed between them. “Yelena… was that spear the first gift anyone’s given you?”

Yelena scoffed, “Of course not!”

They let out a sigh of relief.

“Kate bishop bought me dinner and drinks way before that.”

The dread returned in an instant. It shouldn’t have come as too much of a surprise, Yelena had told them of her lifetime as a brainwashed tool of the Red Room. For his part, Peter supposed he had subconsciously stopped himself from thinking too hard on all the possible implications of it. Yelena always seemed… well not fine but the idea of worrying about her always seemed a fools errand.

They would have to start, Peter realized, as he took a deep breath, “Yelena… I’m really sorry, but I didn’t really think too much about it when I gave you the spear.”

“…Oh.”

“But!” He quickly continued, “When, not if, when I do get something specifically for you… I would never, ever want you to risk any sort of harm over it. Right Kate?”

“Totally!” Kate nodded with wide eyes, “I mean the whole point of giving a gift is to show someone that you value them! Nothing I ever give you could be worth more than you Yelena.”

“Absolutely nothing.” Peter affirmed, sending Kate a grateful look.

Yelena was silent for a while, her lips pursed and her eyes a bit narrowed, “I… so if you give me something, and I lose it… you would not be upset? There would be no punishment?”

“No!” Both Kate and Peter responded in unison.

“Look,” Peter swallowed uncertainly, “I’ve only been in one other relationship, so I won’t claim to be an expert, but I’m pretty certain that people in healthy relationships never punish each other.”

“Well…” Kate drawled with a bit of amusement in her voice, “Unless it’s the fun, sexy, consensual kind. But otherwise yeah. I mean if I give you a really expensive necklace, and you like purposefully throw it away or something that would hurt my feelings-“

“I would never do that!”

“I believe you!” Kate assured her, “I’m just saying if somehow you did that would be all that happened, hurt feelings. If it were an accident it’s problem, and if it’s ever a choice between getting hurt and losing the necklace I’d want you to be safe every time.”

“Yeah and… you’d want the same for us right?” Peter asked.

The hanger was tense as Yelena didn’t answer right away. Thankfully her response was more than satisfactory, “Of course… I’m sorry I… I suppose I was not thinking clearly.”

“Hey,” Peter instinctively tried to put his arm around her, only for it to yank on its restraints above. He settled for reaching his foot over to rest in hers in as comforting a way as he could manage, “There’s no need to be sorry.”

Kate quickly followed suit, stretching herleg across the aisle to rest in Yelena’s other foot. “Yeah, this relationship is just… new, for all of us. I think there are things about it that we all need to figure out.”

“Together.” Peter nodded.

“Exactly.”

Yelena didn’t respond, but she didn’t move away from them either. She turned her face away, and when he tried to lean over to see her, she gave his foot a light kick that couldn’t have even hurt a normal person, “Don’t look!”

He complied immediately, before looking at Kate in alarm. She could only shrug in response, mouthing the words ‘give her a minute’

Unfortunately they didn’t have a minute, as the door to the cockpit, where their captors had sequestered themselves. The leader, Ayo stomped out with narrowed eyes, “What are you doing?!”

Their feet all retracted instinctively, “Nothing!” Kate yelped.

“There will be no funny business!”

“It was actually more like super serious business…”

“What?!”

“Nothing!” Peter parroted Kate.

The glare didn’t let up. “I see I was a fool for thinking you could behave yourselves.” She looked back into the cockpit, “I will watch the prisoners, alert me when we are landing.”

A chorus of affirmations sounded and the door closed behind her. She matched down the aisle, not swaying a bit as the aircraft shook with turbulence, before sitting down a few seats over from Kate.

Peter noticed her eyeing Yelena curiously, who still seemed to be pulling herself together, and quickly drew her attention to him. “Hey so not to tell you how to do your job or anything, but shouldn’t you have had someone back here with us before now? I mean what if we had escaped while you were all cooped up there?”

She stared at him and he nearly regretted saying anything, “If you had escaped, what would be your next move? Attempt to overpower the five of us or jump fifty thousand feet into open ocean without a parachute?”

“I… yeah good point.”

Ayo seemed to forcibly relax her muscles as she let out a breath, “It is for your safety that we keep you separate from us.”

Kate blinked next to her, “Uhhh what does that mean?”

“Our beloved sister in arms has been murdered and left in a ditch, stripped of her weapons and armor, and you three are the ones we find with her spear. It has taken considerate self control from all of us not to kill you so far.”

“Oh… thanks I guess?”

“What exactly is stopping you then?” Peter asked nervously.

The grip on her spear tightened, “I must hold myself to a higher standard now as their new general in this dark time.”

“The one who died.” Yelena startled them all by speaking up, her eyes slightly red but otherwise no worse for wear, “She was the old general then?”

Ayo narrowed her eyes, “You presume to not know?”

“Obviously.”

The warriors nostrils flared, but kept herself still, “Okoye was our general for many years. She led us into many battles, including the one for earth.”

Yelena hummed, “Sounds impressive. I did not kill her however.”

“That will he for the Royal family to deduce.”

“Maybe you’ve heard of the guy who did!” Peter spoke up. “He called himself Kraven, but his full name is Sergei Kravenoff. He claims to be the greatest hunter of all time. Maybe you guys ran into him? I bet African poacher laws don’t mean squat to him.”

“Wakanda does not police the entire African continent.” Ayo stated dryly.

“Ah… yeah that makes sense, sorry.”

She gave them all another once over, “I am not as wise as my fallen predecessor, but I do feel there is some truth in your words. If they are true, the Royals will know, as they are the wisest among us, and things will resolve them self from there.”

“Was that… you trying to make us feel better?” Kate asked hopefully

“It was a statement of fact.” Ayo answered firmly. “Until then you will behave, as any suspicious behavior will be met with severe repercussions.

The rest of the ride after that was pretty quiet.

Peter maybe got about two hours of sleep interspersed throughout the trip, so by the time they were told they would be landing shortly, he couldn’t claim to be at his best. He forced himself to remain alert however, for as bad as he felt, Yelena and Kate looked far worse.

When the hanger door opened up, Peter was mildly disappointed to see the inside of a large aircraft hanger, rather than the Wakandan skyline. He had seen pictures of course, almost everyone had when the secluded country came out to the world for the marvel it was, but pictures rarely do things true justice.

They were led swiftly through the hanger and through a series of halls, stairs and elevators, until the sleek, impossibly clean surroundings somehow began to turn sleeker and fancier. Then they were stood in front of an ornate set of double doors.

“You know,” Yelena spoke up for the first time in what felt like hours, “I’ve almost died in a lot of cool and super uncool ways, but Royal execution is a first for me.”

Peter and Kate stared at her blankly. “Wow. That’s really upsetting to hear… but neat I guess?”

She only shrugged in response.

The large doors opened and they were ushered in to an honest-to-god throne room. It was a rather unique form of it, with a square of advisors sat around the throne at equal height, but the big elaborate one in the middle made it very clear who was in charge.

Sat upon the throne was King T’Challa, looking just as strong and regal as Peter remembered him. Standing behind him was a pair of women, one much older and one clearly younger.

They were brought before the gathering, and for a moment Peter expected to be shoved to his knees like something out of game of thrones. To his relief they were allowed to remain standing.

T’Challa eyed them carefully, “I greet you, Yelena Belova, Kate Bishop… Spider-Man.”

Peter swallowed, “Uh, yeah, hi.”

“You know my name?” Kate asked in shock, while Yelena kept her gaze steely and calm.

T’Challa simply inclined his head, gesturing to the young woman beside him, “My sister, Shuri, is rather gifted with technology, and was gracious enough to provide me with your names so that I might greet you properly.” His eyes settled on Peter, who suddenly felt very sweaty under his mask. “She was rather perturbed however, to find no information on you, Spider-Man.”

Peter felt his stomach turn to lead, “Yeah well… secret identity and all. Kind of the point of the mask.”

Shuri, who had been standing silently, suddenly seemed to lose her composure as she narrowed her eyes at Peter, “Oh that is bull—“

“Shuri!” The older woman cut her off, shutting her up with a word. Peter was no expert, but the interaction screamed maternal energy at him.

T’Challa was unfazed. “Yes, the mask. I wonder if you realize the disrespect you show, facing a king while hiding your face.”

Yelena snorted beside him, “Oh please.” She looked at Peter, “if it really mattered so much they would have tried to take the mask before bringing you here, do not fall for it.”

“And who are you to speak on our ways, murderer?” One of the elderly advisors spat.

“Hey! Don’t call her that!” Kate shouted back.

“How dare you come into here and presume—“

“ENOUGH!” T’Challa roared, silencing the room in an instant .

Peter didn’t blame them, the guy had been so calm up til the second he exploded. The king took a moment to regain his calm before speaking again, “As you all can see, tensions are high in this court. We have lost our most valued general,” he paused before continuing, “I have lost one of my most valued friends. You’ll have to forgive us for struggling to maintain decorum.”

“Hey I get it!” Peter agreed, “What happened isn’t right, but it wasn’t us. Did Ayo tell you about Kraven?”

The king nodded, and Shuri began fiddling with her bracelet behind him, “She did indeed, we have discovered that the infamous hunter Sergei Kravenoff does indeed exist,” as he spoke, a holographic image of the lion garbed weirdo appeared with a list of offenses next to him, “He is wanted on almost every continent in the world for poaching, as well as several dozen counts of murder. He has even been single-handedly responsible for the extinction of several endangered species.”

“Cool! There see!” Kate pointed at the screen, “There’s you guy! Just go find him and let us go!”

T’Challa sighed and waved the image away, “As of now we have no conclusive leads on his whereabouts. We also have no conclusive evidence that he is involved at all, besides your own word.”

“And that’s not enough.” Peter realized glumly.

“It is not.” T’Challa nodded solemnly. “However, it might help build trust, if you were to allow us to look you in the eye.”

Peter felt panic attempt to bubble up, “You have us captured. Why not just take it off? Why ask permission.”

“You surrendered willingly. When I’m sure you could have put up quite a fight. As the Black Panther I understand the importance of masks. As a sign of respect and gratitude for your prior assistance against Thanos, I leave the choice in your hands.”

Well that was something at least, and judging by the annoyed looks all around him, it wasn’t a sentiment shared by everyone. He noticed Shuri looking especially frustrated by it. “And if I don’t?”

T’Challa sighed, “Then things will become much more difficult moving forward. Make no mistake, you and your companions are suspected of murdering an elite member of the Dora Milaje. Personally I don’t want to believe you are guilty,” this elicited several disapproving murmurs from his court, “but as king I must see to it that justice is served as best I can. So please, help me out here?”

Maybe the universe just didn’t like Peter having a secret identity? Of course, of all governments to know his secret, Wakanda was probably one us the better options. Kind of hard to corrupt a government that no one knew existed until recently.

He turned to look at Kate and Yelena, neither of whom had an answer for him, not that he was expecting one. That said, just looking at them was enough to make his decision.

“You can take it off, but I doubt it will change anything.”

T’Challa smiled thinly, “It already has. Guards.” He gestured and one of the rooms sentry us walked up and carefully picked at the hem of his Mask, as if worried for booby traps.

The fresh air hitting his face was a welcome relief, as he rarely went so long without pulling it off for a breather. He quickly realized that his hair must have looked a mess in front of the king now, but it was lower on his list of worries. Number one was Shuri in the background furiously tapping at a small screen displayed on her bracelet device.

“Thank you,” T’Challa nodded, “And might I have your name before my sister blurts it out first?”

He sighed in resignation, “It’s Peter-“

“What the fuck!” The room was filled with gasps and grumbling at the princess’ outburst, but not even her mothers scolding was enough to stop her this time.

“What is it Shuri?” T’Challa asked in concern, but he was ignored as well as the princess stomped past him and walked right up to Peter absolutely radiating frustration as she studied him.

“Uh, can I help you?” Peter asked leaning back as her face inched closer to his.

“Yes!” She hissed, “You can help me by explaining how the hell you don’t fucking exist!”

He didn’t know when, how, or even his hard, but one day. Peter Parker was gonna slap Stephen Strange upside the head, and he was going to enjoy it.

Back in the aircraft hangar, now mostly empty save for a few guards at the entrances, a loud thump echoed from inside one of the jets.

A pair of guards heard it, and wordlessly moved to investigate, quickly entering the jet the prisoners arrived in and scanning the interior carefully.

They searched the entire jet, but found nothing out of the ordinary, and eventually were ready to write it off and make there way back to their posts. As they were exiting side by side however, a metal panel suddenly shot down from above, striking one guard on the head. Before the other could even look up, a large firm descended upon him, enormous knife in hand and before another sound could escape the jet both men were gutted like the prey.

Kraven the Hunter stepped out of the jet with a sinister smile on his face. As he wiped the bloody knife along his pant leg. He breathed in the air, “Finally, Wakanda, and all its lovely secrets are mine for the taking.” He looked up and saw above the exit, a familiar panther symbol engraved in the metal.

“Now the true hunt finally begins.”

Chapter Text

Turns out unmasking didn’t help build trust after all. Go figure.

After Shuri’s outburst, the courts suspicion of him seemed to increase tenfold. When she asked him why his facial scan showed no matches anytime before the current year he, in a stroke of pure genius, tried to claim he had facial reconstruction. Then she questioned why he had no dental records, which she has somehow also scanned already, and they were back to square one.

Of course, as soon as the words ‘memory spell’ left his mouth, the naysayers only grew louder, with Shuri just giving him an unimpressed look.

All that led to an adjournment to give him time to ‘get his story straight’. He wanted to be angry at them all, but if he were in their shoes he could hardly claim he wouldn’t do the same.

It wasn’t a very comforting thought as they lay strapped to several tables in what appeared to be Shuri’s personal lab. It was nicer than a dungeon but not by much. Their weapons were laid out on a table, and Peter winced as he watched Shuri tinker idly with his web-shooters, though her heart clearly wasn’t in it.

“So what now?” He called out to the slightly mad looking scientist, “Are we getting experimented on?”

“If you try to cut my brain out I should warm you: I’ve already survived someone else trying that, it does mot end well.”

“Yelena what the fuck?” Kate gawked .

“I am not experimenting on you!” Shuri snapped without even looking at them, “Those are medical beds, they monitor your vitals and alert me if you enter a critical condition.”

“Uh huh,” Peter narrowed his eyes, “and you restrain your patients often around here?”

“I am not on trial here,” she shot him a glare, “You are, literally. Although… if you would consent to me taking a blood sample, I could put in a good word with my brother…”

“Uh no, that’s not-“

“Peter,” Yelena cut him off, “As bribes go, a bit if blood is not worst deal I have ever heard of.”

“But what it she tried to reverse engineer my powers and create an army of spider soldiers?”

“What?”

Kate leaned forward to look over at his face, “Is that something you actively worry about?”

“I mean not actively, but when a crazy girl starts asking for my blood it tends to cross my mind.”

“First of all,” Shuri gritted out, “I am not crazy. I am eccentric, as many geniuses are.”

“And humble too.” Yelena murmured.

“Second of all,” she continued, eyes twitching in irritation, “Wakanda has had access to the source of the black panthers power for centuries and have yet to create an army of enhanced. What makes you think I’d start now with your freaky ass spider blood?”

Peters bros furrowed at the wording, “That’s a bit harsh…”

“Oh please, Peter could take the Black Panther any day if the week!” Kate declared, extremely unhelpfully.

Shuri put a hand on her hip, “Is that so?”

“No!” Peter shook his head, “I mean, I don’t know probably not? It doesn’t really matter because we would never fight, especially while we’re under investigation for murder,” he gritted out the last while shooting Kate a dirty look.

“If not for powers why the blood sample?” Yelena mercifully swooped in to change the subject.

“Because it doesn’t make sense.” Shuri seethed, “I have access to every record on the planet—“

“Okay well not every record…” Peter corrected nervously.

“Every record.” She stated firmly. “Hydra and Ultron was a firm motivator to make it happen. And yet, despite access to all the information known to man, I can’t find a single trace of a Peter Parker matching your description anywhere, aside from that phony birth certificate you clearly made yourself. It shouldn’t be possible, walking without a digital footprint in todays world is like going your whole life dodging oxygen.”

Peter shrugged as best as he could tied down, “I told you about the spell. It’s not the craziest thing that’s happened.”

“And if it is true, that means I’ve been beaten by some hocus pocus nonsense.” She raved, “It is unacceptable.”

“Feel like you’re taking it a little too personally.”

“Can I have the blood or not?” She fumed.

“Fine, but only if you promise to destroy it once we’re free. My powers really can’t fall into the wrong hands.”

She huffed, “Well someone thinks highly of themselves. Deal.”

He sat quietly as she drew the blood she wanted, and once she was done, she held it up to her eyes, glaring like it had personally offended her. “Now we shall see how thorough your ‘magic’ is.

With that she swept out of the room, presumably to get supplies for some sort of blood test, and the three prisoners found themselves alone.

“So…” Kate broke the silence first, “We’re probably not gonna make it to class today huh?”

Peter sighed, “Probably not. Sorry.”

“This was not your fault.” Yelena chided him.

“Maybe not in the most technical sense, but this is starting to seem pretty standard for how my life tends to go. I kinda feel like you’re just getting caught in the wake of my disastrous existence.”

“Well you’re entitled to your feelings.” Kate granted, “But do try and keep in mind that I managed to anger a whole ass mafia without you, and Yelena is just a walking collection of trauma.”

“Hey!”

“A very cute collection of trauma.”

Yelena pouted a bit as a dusting of red sprouted on her face, “Is a little better…”

“That… weirdly makes me feel better.” Peter admitted, “though now I feel guilty that your past trauma makes me feel better.”

“Baby steps!”

“We should begin planning escape.” Yelena interrupted.

Peter blinked, “Escape?”

“This ‘trial’ does not appear to be going in our favor.”

“Don’t you think it’s a little soon for that?” Kate hissed.

“I do not mean we escape right now.” Yelena rolled her eyes, “Is just in case plan you know?”

“That’s… probably not the worst idea.” Peter sighed, “any ideas?”

“Yes, I will seduce the princess.”

“You’ll what?” Kate and Peter exclaimed in unison.

“She is intelligent, but young, emotional, also the only one with key code to release our restraints.”

Kate squeaked in protest,”We’re not confused as to why, we’re confused as to what the fuck!?”

“I do not understand.”

“Yelena,” Peter spoke more gently, though no less upset, “Don’t you think that you seducing someone in front of us might be upsetting?”

Yelena seemed to process this for a moment, before gasping in realization, “Oh!”

“Finally.” Kate muttered.

“I see confusion now. Worry not, seduction rarely ends in sex, at least for me. It is simply word for using charm and sex appeal to coerce someone into doing your bidding. I would never cheat on you.”

“That’s… not as bad as I thought, but still a bad idea.” Kate nodded

“You think I can’t do it?”

“That’s not- Yelena I’m sure you can seduce all the princess’ and princes you want-“

“I only want two.”

Peter and Kate both malfunctioned for a minute at that one.

“Heh, two in one. Nice. Although perhaps you may be on to something. Peter is closer to her age, perhaps he would have better success?”

“I’m not comfortable with that.”

“Yeah and besides,” Kate chuckled a bit, “Can you really see Peter seducing someone?”

“Hey!”

“He is dating two women.”

“Yeah but it wasn’t exactly his idea.”

“That’s… fair. Still mean though.” Peter pouted.

“What if he did the eyes?” Yelena continued.

“The what?”

“Oh… that might work….” Kate looked contemplative.

“Wait what do you mean ‘the eyes’?” Peter looked between them in confusion.

“Like you don’t know!”

“Do not play dumb Peter Parker.”

He scoffed, “I’ll have both of you know I’ve never played dumb in my life… that sounded better in my head.”

“You seriously don’t know what we’re talking about?” Kate asked incredulously.

“You have like, this thing you do where your eyes get all big and soulful,” Yelena explained, “Like a big handsome puppy dog.”

“Uh… what?”

“Yeah looking back I think those peepers are kind of fifty percent of the reason I started crushing on you.” Kate agreed. “If you learned to fully control it, I get you could have her wrapped around your finger in like an hour.”

Peter couldn’t help but laugh, despite the situation, “Okay come on! Don’t you think you’re exaggerating?”

“I don’t know, those things do seem pretty devastating.”

All three blinked as a familiar voice sounded over a loudspeaker somewhere in the lab. Pete was the first to speak up, “Shuri? Is that you?”

“You didn’t actually think I would leave you three alone in my lab without monitoring you?”

“So you heard… all of that?” Kate asked guiltily.

“Oh yes.”

“Ah, so I suppose seduction is a moot point now.” Yelena remarked unperturbed.

“I mean you can still try if you want, I’m not going to let you out though.”

The three were left to stew in their embarrassment for a while. Well two of them stewed, Yelena just kept brainstorming better ideas.

Far below, a figure stalked around the palace unseen. Some might find stealth in enemy territory where everyone is the same color but you difficult, but Kraven the Hunter was a different breed.

He has stalked the plains for gazelle alongside lions. Then he stalked the lions in turn.

What did pose a problem was finding his objective. It wasn’t like he could hire a tour guide. It felt like hours passed as he scoured the building, clinging to the corners of the room every time a guard passed. He didn’t want to start killing everyone in sight. He would if necessary, but then he would have to hide the bodies and that was always a pain.

At long last however, he found what he was looking for: the Royal treasury. The storage place for all of Wakandan oldest trinkets and relics, the only reasonable place for his target to reside. The only problem was the DNA coded vault door it laid behind. Only a member of the Royal family could enter. He’d have to… convince one to help him. Alive, as he was pretty sure Wakandan scanners could tell the difference.

The king was obviously not an option. The mother was most likely by his side, helping decide the little spiders fate. That left the sister, and to Kraven surprise, he overheard a guard mention that she had the spider and his companions captured in his lab.

That was a problem. If he knew anything from watching the spider all that time, it was that he’s a classic bleeding heart. He would undoubtedly try and break free to save the Princess if Kraven went for her now, and after going toe to toe with the kid, Kraven doubted he’d fail.

He needed a distraction, something to lead the spider away so that he and the princess could play…

He thought back to all he had found in his search, until one thing in particular came to mind.

He just hoped his quarry would survive so he could hunt them properly afterwards.

Shuri cackled in victory as her DNA test found several matches, “Finally!”

“It worked?” Peter asked from where he laid restrained, “Huh, cool I guess.”

“Now we shall see who you really are.” She declared haughtily. She pulled up an image of a young couple.

“Are those your parents?” Kate asked with interest.

“Yeah…” Peter replied, mouth suddenly dry.

“Neat!”

“Richard and Mary Parker,” Shuri read, “At least your weren’t lying about your name. A brilliant pair of young scientists who… died tragically young in a plane crash.”

“Oh, less neat. Sorry Peter.”

“It’s okay.” He assured her, “I was too young to really miss them you know?”

“Okay you me and Yelena need to have a serious conversation on what constitutes being okay later.”

“There is no record of them having any children,” Shuri continued in confusion, “Yet your DNA is too close a match to be anything other than their child… did they just not tell anyone about you?”

“I told you it was a spell,” Peter said tiredly, “And they died when I was like two, if no one knew about me how could I have survived?”

“Who raised you then?”

“My aunt and uncle.” He answered automatically, before widening his eyes, “Wait don’t—“

“No siblings for Mary, so that could only be Ben and May Parker.” Shuri read, heedless of his protests. “I see Ben passed away a few years ago, and May Parker… ah.”

Peter closed his eyes and leaned his head back in his chair, “Could we just… not do this? Please?”

“I take no pleasure in this but you have to understand that from an objective viewpoint it’s suspicious. Do you have any kind of proof that they raised you? And please don’t say that the magic spell—“

“FEAST!” Kate blurted out.

Shuri blinked, “Sorry?”

“Look up Spider-Man FEAST appearances, he showed up on stage with May Parker like a dozen times.”

The princess looked doubtful, but did as she asked all the same. Sure enough, hundreds of videos came up showing Peter giving his cringey FEAST appearances.

“You had stage fright?” Yelena observed.

“I guess.” Peter sighed, “It was really important to her, and I kept freaking out worrying that I would mess it up that I just messed it up anyways.”

“Is not that bad.” The blonde assured him, “I’m sure just showing up was more than enough to gain attention.

“Yeah I’m pretty sure she wasn’t expecting much more out of me either.”

“This… is something. But the court would still never—“

“Check their tax records.” Yelena said suddenly.

“Wha-why?”

“Dependent tax claim.”

Shuri’s eyes widened as she understood, and she quickly pulled the information up, analyzing it thoroughly, “Wow… there is no sign of a dependent claim, but judging from their records they either used to have one and it was erased or Ben and May committed serious tax evasion for years.”

“May wouldn’t even jaywalk.” Peter deadpanned.

Shuri continued analyzing his family’s bank records, taking note of the numerous withdrawals and tight budget that didn’t fit with one woman living by herself. “This is… oh Bast there really was a spell?”

“Yes!” All three exclaimed at once.

Shuri leaned back on a desk as if to catch herself, “That is… a lot to take in…”

“Yeah well welcome to my world.” Peter muttered.

“I… I will go talk to my brother about this. It won’t exonerate you, but it will be good for you that they know you were not lying.”

The three sighed in relief, “Thank you, now can we—“

They were cut off as the lab began blaring with alarms, causing Shuri to freeze in shock for a moment before scrambling to a main console.

“What’s going on?!” Kate asked nervously.

“A citywide threat…” Shuri answered numbly.

“A what?!”

“How do you know is that big a deal?” Yelena asked.

“Because the last time this particular alarm sounded it was heralding Thanos!” She snapped back.

“What’s the threat?” Peter asked seriously.

Shuri looked at the screen in horror. “The war rhinos, from the palace stables… they’ve gone berserk!”

“What the hell is a war rhino?!” Kate asked.

“It’s a military trained rhino what else? They’re trained and disciplined from birth, they shouldn’t be rampaging like this!”

“Rampaging?” Peter asked, dread filling his gut. “Are they in the city?”

“They’re heading towards the edge of the palace grounds as we speak…” Shuri paled, “Once they start charging not a lot can stop them… thanks in no small part to the Vibranium armor I made them…”

“Let us out.”

Shuri looked at him in confusion. “What?”

“We can help! Kate and Yelena can help warn the citizens, I can help stop the rhinos.”

“Why would you—“

Peters restraints clanged loudly as he jerked them, “People are about to get hurt Shuri! Let me help!”

She ran a hand over her face as she rushed to process the situation as it unfolded, “I-I can’t do that. You could be trying to escape, this could be your doing!”

“How the fuck could we have done this?” Kate huffed.

“I didn’t even know you had rhinos.” Yelena agreed.

“It’s not happening.”

Peter gritted his teeth. “Yes. It is.” Then his muscles began to bulge as he strained against his confinement.

Shuri scoffed, “Don’t embarrass yourself Parker! The restraints are made with Vibra…ni…um…” she trained off as a metallic screeching began to sound.

Apparently the rest of the bed was not made with Vibranium.

Shuri watched in horror as Peter ripped the medial bed apart as he freed his limbs, chunks of the bed still suck to each leg and arm as the Vibranium restraints had held strong. When it finally hit her that he had indeed gotten free, she made a break for her sonic gauntlets, certain that she wouldn’t make it before he was on her.

To her embarrassment, she misjudged his priorities. Just as her hand reached the first gauntlet, a thwip sounded behind her, and her hand and gauntlet were stuck to the table.

She looked to see Peter with his newly reacquired web shooter pointed at her, “Sorry, but I have to go. I’ll get you out if that when I’m done.”

“You idiot!” She hissed, “You’ll be imprisoned for this! My brother and the army can handle the rhinos!”

“Without anyone getting hurt?”

When she didn’t have an answer he turned to Kate and Yelena, “I can—“

“Go.” Kate cut him off, “You’re wasting time, we wouldn’t be much help anyway.”

“Do not argue,” Yelena said right before he was to argue. “It is what it is, as you say. Go be hero.”

They didn’t need to tell him twice, “Sorry! Thank you!” He grabbed his mask and yanked it over his head before taking off, leaving the three women behind.

Shuri looked at the two in suspicion, “You did not take the chance to escape…”

“This isn’t an escape!” Kate yelled in irritation, “Peter is literally just trying to help!”

“Why? These are not his people.”

“They’re people, and they need help.” Yelena stated simply, “For Peter Parker that is more than enough. It is very naïve but I admit he pulls it off very cutely.”

“He’ll get trampled.”

“You do see what he did to your table yes?”

Shuri did see. It was very alarming. She knew her brothers limits and ripping metals apart while restrained like that was just on the other side of them. “Is that why you have so much faith in him?”

Yelena and Kate looked at each other for a moment, before shrugging as Kate answered, “It’s more like… what would the point of not having faith in him be? It’s not like he’d stop just because we’re worried.”

“Personally I do not worry at all” Yelena chimed in, “It would be a waste of mental capacity, and only slow me down.”

Kate winced, “Pretty sure that’s just being in denial.”

“Really? Huh…”

Shuri stared at them dumbfounded, “Unbelievable…”

“Hey don’t go judging us!” Kate snapped, “You’re city is in danger and what are you doing?”

“I’m stuck!”

“How convenient.”

All attention was suddenly on the entrance to the lab, where a familiar Russian stood with a sinister grin. “Allow me to help you princess, though I may require your assistance in turn…”

Though no one said anything, all three women felt the same sense of dread settled upon them.

T’Challa was a bit concerned.

Okay he was a lot concerned. He had suited up and threw himself out of the nearest window once he learned what had happened, but as his enhanced speed brought him closer and closer to the half dozen rhinos that were stampeding towards civilians, he realized he didn’t really know what he was going to do.

Against one of the rhinos it would be an easy victory, but stopping a whole group at once was an impossible task for him, however as the Black Panther he could not just sit back as his army gathered and his citizens died.

He soon came upon the rear end of the herd, leaping onto the rhino in the back and quickly calling out its command phrases in rigid Wakandan. It didn’t work or course, and instead of stopping the mad beast tried to shake him off in irritation. He ended up having to dig his Vibranium claws into its side to keep still, which didn’t help its mood in the slightest.

He didn’t want to kill the creatures. They were normally peaceful mounts, never before did they misbehave in such a manner, but between them and the civilians he could see scrambling on the other side of the palace gates, he knew the choice he had to make.

Raising his claws in the air, he whispered his apologies as he prepared to bring it down on the rhinos skull. Right before he could however, a strange noise caught his attention and he looked up to see Spider-Man fly over his head.

The younger hero landed to the right of the herd and in a swift motion, shot a web at the horn of the lead rhino, before digging his heels in and pulling back. To T’Challa’s shock, the Rhino began to turn, avoiding crashing through the front gates and instead remaining in the palace grounds a little longer. To his relief, instinct kicked in and the others followed suit, following the leader of the charge.

Time sufficiently bought, Spider-Man proceeded to leap forward before using a web-line to yank himself after them, landing gracefully on the rhino next to T’Challa, “Hey!”

“You escaped!”

The whites of the mask lens narrowed in irritation, “Is that really the priority right now? We gotta stop them before someone gets hurt! I don’t know if the horn thing will work twice!”

The king gritted his teeth, but nodded resolutely. His people came first, “Whatever has happened to them, they are completely out of control. We’ll have to stop them by force.”

“Oh great, any chance you got an army coming to help?”

“Not before they reach the city.”

“Of course not.” T’Challa instinctively caught the silver wrist attachment that was suddenly lobbed at him, “Web their legs with that! Like this!” He demonstrated how to operate the web-shooter quickly before crawling into the side of his rhino and aiming if at the creatures back legs.

In an instant it stumbled and went crashing to the ground, forcing Spider-Man to leap off lest he be crushed in the process. When the beast rolled to a stop, T’Challa watched the hero apply a generous coating of web to keep it stick to the ground. “Easy peasy!” He called out .

“Easy peasy?” T’Challa echoed with a dubious look. He hadn’t a better plan however, so he climbed to the side of the rhino like Spider-Man did (although it had looked way easier for him) and repeated what he saw. In an instant he too was flying through the air as the beast hit the ground fast and he hurried to keep him there.

Once he was done he joined Spider-Man in sprinting after the remaining four, “I see why you use these now, quite useful.”

“Thanks.” Peter responded, before reaching out to grab the other man’s arm, “Checkb this out!”

T’Challa gasped a bit as they were both yanked through the air at impressive speed. They landed on the next two and repeated the process as quickly as they could, but despite it all, the side fence to the city was approaching alarmingly fast.

“You take left I’ll take right?”

“Let’s go!” T’Challa nodded as they web-shot forward once more. T’Challa quickly took down his target and began securing it,

Peter wasn’t so successful,

“Really? Right now?!” He cursed as his single web-shooter refused to surrender any more web fluid. “I literally just refilled you! Why is… damn it Shuri!” She must have taken half the supply to analyze when she was fiddling with it earlier. His irritation would have to wait however, as the rhino proceeded to plows through the ornate metal fence like it was made of cardboard. Why didn’t they make it out of Vibranium?! Isn’t a fence the ideal use for the strongest metal?

His thoughts raced frantically as they charged through the streets, crushing vehicles and sending pedestrians screaming as they went. He looked back to see if T’Challa was catching up, bit the panther king was nowhere in sight. He’d have to do it the old fashioned way. He hated the old fashioned way.

He leapt forward off the rhinos back, putting some extra oomph in it to give himself time to spin around and brace himself for the impact. He activated his stickiness on one foot and took a deep breath.

The impact was far worse than he had imagined. It was actually kind of spectacular. He had caught cars driving at high speed but none of them compared to the sheer brutal power that the rhino brought with it.

He didn’t have time to marvel however, or let it overwhelm him. He swallowed a scream and twisted his body, performing a near pirouette motion as he swung the rhino by its horn, using its own momentum to throw it sideways into the building next to him.

He nearly fell forward, leaning on his knees as he caught his breath, his body screaming at him in protest. A shifting of rubble ended his short rest, as the rhino proved to still be conscious.

“Oh come on!”

The animal got to its feet and lowered its horn at him once more. Obviously more ticked off than injured. It charged again, shouldering away another chunk of the building in the process, just to be a dick.

“This is really gonna hurt.” Peter groaned as he rescued himself once more. To his relief however, it wasn’t necessary. A familiar thwip sounded and the rhino stumbled to the ground, sliding to a stop just a few feet away from Peter.

“Oh thank god!” Peter sagged in relief.

“What were you doing?!” T’Challa exclaimed as he ran up the street, “Why did you not use your webs?”

Peter huffed, “I ran out! Your sister must have emptied most of if when she was messing with it! You should really teach her to ask permission before playing with other peoples toys…”

“That… actually sounds very plausible,” the black clad hero admitted as he finished webbing up the rhino. “I.. I thank you for your assistance Peter. You were a great help.”

Peter waved him off as he finished catching his breath, “Hey don’t sweat it. That’s what heroes—“

Crack

Both men froze before turning to look at the building the rhino had just half destroyed the base of. It appeared about twenty stories tall, and it also appeared to be tipping forward slowly.

Peter gulped, “Any chance that’s an abandoned building?” T’Challa didn’t need to answer as several residents began poking their heads out of the windows in curiosity, followed quickly by horror. “Oh god… T’Challa? Any ideas here?”

“I…” The king looked shell shocked, unable to move.

The already damaged area began to crumble and crack even more, debris falling constantly as the building swayed dangerously, eliciting screams from the people inside.

“We have to do something!” Peter shouted in a panic.

“I know bit theres nothing—“

The building shifted again, and the time for deliberation was officially past. Peter ran forward, ignoring the kings commands to stay back as he studied the architecture of the building, picking the spot that seemed to have been the most load bearing before the rhino demolished it and sprinting there as fast as he could. He didn’t really think through what he was going to do when he got there.

Luckily the the decision was made for him.

T’Challa cried out as the building began to collapse and Spider-Man was obscured in dust. His cry was cut short however as the buildings fall was halted in an instant.

He couldn’t quite comprehend what has occurred. He ran in to investigate and what he saw… well…

“Sweet Bast what the hell…”

Meanwhile, an irate Shuri was led through the palace by a very smug Kraven, while Kate and Yelena followed them in the automated beds. Shuri had tried to convince Kraven that she couldn’t make that happen, but his response was to simply kill the pair rather than leave them behind as a ‘risk’. She changed her tune quite quickly after that.

She also mourned every guard that perished trying to stop their procession. She tried after the first three to tell the others to run, but of course between abandoning their princess and disobeying orders, they decided one was a lesser evil than the other.

Kraven butchered them all, with the casual detachment one has when preparing meat for a meal.

“Why are you doing this? Where are we going?” She demanded as tears threatened to run down her face. She was still restrained by webbing, as Kraven had used a wicked looking blade to slice her felree of her counter before sticking her hands together immediately after. She was likely lucky in that sense. Judging by the way he fought, Kraven didn’t look the type that knew how to hold back if someone attacked him.

“I am doing this because I want to.” He answered with a shrug, “And we are going to your royal treasury.”

“You’re joking!” Kate exclaimed angrily, “There’s no way you did all this just to rob Wakanda!”

“You are correct.” He agreed easily. “I did all this for a number of reasons. For one thing, the Spider and the Panther are now both within reach, making my hunt of them both much easier.”

“You performed quite sadly against the spider last time,” Yelena pointed out, “What makes you think thing will be different here?”

“Ah well that brings me to the second reason I’ve done all this.” He looked after Shuri, “Tell me, what do you know about the history of your kingdom?”

“Fuck you!”

He chuckled “Fair enough. I will tell you then.” They soon arrived at the treasures, and he gestured for her to open it, holding a knife up to Kate and Yelena when she hesitated, “You see, until now I have traveled nearly every inch of this continent, save Wakanda. I set a goal for myself you see, many years ago. I wanted to stand at the very top of our worlds food chain. Not out of hatred or spite, on the contrary I greatly admire all life our planet has grown, it is only natural for me to want to surpass those I admire yes?”

As he rambled, they entered the room that looked more like a museum than a treasury. Glass cases housed various weapons and ornate adornments from various dealing and events. “At first my goal seemed quite attainable. It was difficult of course, the training was brutal, the prey even more so. Eventually however I had worked my way through nearly every species on earth and proved myself superior.”

He sneered while walking through the cases, inspecting each one carefully “That is, until the Avengers arrived. Suddenly I realized just how low on the food chain I really was, and had no conceivable way to work my way up.”

“So you were butthurt that you aren’t ‘the strongest there is’? Pretty flimsy motive for murder.” Kate glared..

He shrugged, “I do not let others hold me back, their choices are their own. Still the problem remained that I could not hope to match this new species called heroes. I traveled to every tribe, climbed to every mountain sanctuary looking for a way to even the odds. I took potions and poultices aplenty striving to become better.”

“Well that is stupid,” Yelena snorted, “You should have just gone to a doctor and asked for Viagra. I hear it works wonders for those looking to compensate.”

“Charming.” He deadpanned, “I’ll have you know that what I did find actually worked, to a point. I’m at the peak of human physicality, and I don’t have to waste hours every day training to keep it. I also learned many things about poisons, a great tool for any hunter.”

Shuri cursed, “You poisoned the rhinos, sent them running mad!”

He gave an almost apologetic smile, “Yes, I needed to create an opportunity and it worked wonderfully.”

Shuri laughed harshly, “Well it was a waste of effort. You seek power? I take it you’re here for the heart shaped herbs then. You’re too late, they were all destroyed several years ago.”

Kraven laughed even harsher, “The power of the Panther? No! I seen something greater. You see in my travels I encountered many who knew of Wakanda, of your ways and of your history. With some… persuasion, I learned the origin of the black Panther power.”

“Vibranium.”

“Wrong.” He barked, “It is simply a conduit for the true source. Your land is blessed Princess, founded by two goddesses, The Panther goddess Bast,” he suddenly stopped in front of a case, eyeing its contents hungrily, “and the lion goddess Sekhmet. In a swift motion, he elbowed the glass, shattering it loudly and causing his captives to flinch a bit in surprise.

He continued talking as he reached inside, “Of course, the Egyptians mistook. Bast for a simple cat, as is bound to happen when mortals attempt to perceive divinity. They mistook Sekhmet as well, but not the Wakandans. You knew the truth, for there used to be two protectors of Wakanda. A champion for each goddess, the Black Panther…”

He pulled out a jade trinket, all harsh angles and jagged edges, but still managed to greatly resemble the snarling face of a big cat. He jammed it against his chest, and his observers were blown back a bit as a golden wave of energy exploded from him, accompanied by the sound of a fearsome predator roaring a warning.

Kraven remained standing, even straighter now if it were possible, as he turned back to smile with now too sharp teeth and burning yellow eyes.

“And the White Tiger!”

Chapter Text

Kraven took a few more moments to bask in himself before laughing loudly, “You were fools to lock this power away! I feel like I could take on an army!”

“Gosh, I wonder why the worlds most advanced civilization would hide away a mystical amulet?” Shuri mocked, “It’s cursed genius! Take it off before it overwhelms your mind! It turns people wild!”

“People are already wild,” he responded casually, “To be wild is to do as you please.”

“That’s not— I mean it will drive you insane! Obviously!”

He hummed, examining his hand “We shall see.” His fingers bent into claws, and he marveled as glowing green tiger claws appeared. “Hello… what can you do?”

In a flash he struck out towards Kate and Yelena, who had been watching the events unfold restrained to medical beds. Kate yelped and Yelena yelled in defiance, but both were surprised when not a scratch was put on them.

Instead, the glowing claws had arced through the Vibranium restraints cleanly, freeing them both.

They dropped from their beds uncertainly, keeping an eye on Kraven as he smiled wickedly at his new powers, “Incredible! With this I can finally set my sights on a new class of prey!” He noticed his three unwilling companions shifting into ready positions, “Oh? You wish to help test my new abilities? You saw how I handled those guards before gaining this power. You are all unarmed, are you sure it is the wisest choice?”

After a moments thought, Shuri and Yelena begrudgingly stood down, though Kate looked ready to try anyways if Yelena hadn’t put a firm hand on her arm, shaking her head at her.

“Good choice.” Kraven nodded, before admiring himself once more. “I imagine you all would be better suited to checking on the Panther and the Spider. I had thought to take them on right away, but I think it would be wiser to acclimatize myself to this new power first. It will likely be more fun if they are at full strength as well, those rhinos likely took a lot out of them, if they survived.”

With that he began making his way out of the room, “Farewell, and remember: should you face me again, armed or not I will—argh!” He doubled over at the exit, clutching his head for few moments, before whatever it was seemed to pass. “Hmm…” he continued silently.

As he left, a flood of relief swept through the former hostages, and they all seemed to finally take a breath. Yelena looked at Shuri, “Madness huh?”

Shuri scoffed, “That fool will be no better than a rabid animal within the hour, which will only make him more dangerous. It is why we forsook Sekhmet as one of our patrons, several centuries ago the amulet began turning its wearers mad one after another.”

“Didn’t anyone try to see if the amulet was just broken?” Kate asked, “I mean it’s not actually a magical totem imbued by a goddess right?”

Shuri sighed, “I am a scientist, I only believe what can be observed and proven, so know this Kate Bishop: the gods are real, and not all of them are as friendly as Bast or Thor.”

With that horrifying note, they began making their way back to the lab, both to retrieve their weapons and to free Shuri of her web restraints.

As soon as she was free, she began tapping on her wrist beads to figure out what the situation outside was. “It appears the rhinos are all subdued with webs—he will explain that formula— and there is a large gathering around a building just outside the palace… does that look tilted to you?” She showed the image to the others with an aggrieved look on her face. The building in question did indeed look on the cusp of falling over, though for some reason it refused to finish its descent.

“Any sign of Peter?” Kate asked.

“Or Kraven?” Yelena added, obviously not trusting the hunter’s claim to leave.

Shuri frowned, “I’m not sure, I see T’Challa, I’ll raise him and ask.

A moment later a frazzled looking T’Challa appeared on the holographic screen, “Shuri! Praise Bast, why haven’t you been answering?”

The princess huffed, “Well I was a little occupied—“

“Never mind there isn’t time.” He cut her off, “Do you have something that can lift a building?”

Shuri blinked, “You seem unsettled brother, what’s—“

“Do you have it?!”

“No!” She exclaimed defensively, “Why would I?”

“Can you make it?”

“W-well I guess but-“

“Do it!”

“Not until you tell me what’s going on!” She shouted, fully irate now, “That building looks about to fall but refuses to do so.”

“There is someone inside.”

“Then get them out!”

“We can’t.”

“What do you mean you—“

“Hi, uh your majesty?” Kate chimed in, poking her head in front of Shuri, “Please tell of the person inside isn’t who I think it is.”

The look on his face was all the answer she needed, along with how he didn’t even question why she was free. “You should come down here it’s… you will have to see for yourself.”

Shuri led them quickly out of the palace, all the while running simulations on her beads to how the hell she could safely accomplish the task her brother had given her.

They arrived at the scene that looked more like a former war-zone. The rhino was still stick to the ground, though it seemed to have struggled itself into exhaustion already, so it wasn’t the priority. Military personnel and the Dora Milaje alike ran about with an uncertainty completely unlike them, possibly in response to the energy of their king, whose whole body tensed up when they approached them.

“Where is he?” Yelena asked before he could start.

“He is inside, but you can’t go in there!” He hurried the last part as Kate and Yelena had started off before he could finish.

“Why?” Kate snapped.

“It is not safe.”

“Then why is he alone in there?” Yelena asked.

“I…”

“Brother,” Shuri spoke with exasperation, “You have set an incredibly complex task for me, made even more difficult with the presence of someone inside. How do you expect me to accomplish it if we can’t even go in and assess the situation?”

His brain seemed to run that on repeat for a few moments before he sighed and nodded, before activating his suit again, “Fine, but you will stay close to me! If it falls—“

They were already walking, forcing him to cut himself off to catch up.

The scene they arrived at, once they pushed past the mob surrounding the building, was surprising to say the least. It was no wonder there was a crowd of people gawking at it.

Peter was the first thing they saw, no shock with his brilliant red and blue suit, though it was noticeably dustier now from the debris. He was nearly standing, with his legs bent and trembling constantly, as the ceiling of the first floor rested on his shoulders along, the three were soon to realize, with the rest of the building.

“Go slowly!” T’Challa tried to caution, but again went unheeded as Kate and Yelena were sprinting forward.

“Peter!” Kate yelled, stopping herself just in time from hugging him, as it likely wouldn’t be the wisest move right now.

“Kate?” He croaked, looking around blindly, “M-my mask… dust…”

Kate very carefully reached up and tugged the mask off, slowly revealing the sweat soaked and very red face of Peter, who began blinking his eyes rapidly to push the debris out of them. He finally opened them to reveal several burst blood vessels had colored them red, and they widened when he saw all who had arrived. “Hey.”

“Hey.” Kate mimicked, trying to keep her voice from cracking. “Listen to your instincts again?”

“Actually my instincts told me to go the other way.”

“You alright?” Yelena asked, coming to stand beside Kate, her face set firmly as to not let her worry show.

“Y-yeah I’m… well no, this is really heavy.” He noticed T’Challa in the background with a stunned Shuri staring beside him, “Are they all out?”

The king nodded, “The building has been evacuated as well as the surrounding buildings.”

“Oh good,” he paused to let out a hacking cough, “I kind of thought it would get lighter when everyone was out but no, still feels the same.”

“How are you feeling Peter?” T’Challa called out, “How much longer do you think you can hold it?”

“Honestly I’ve been fighting passing out for the past ten minutes .” He gave Kate and Yelena a pleading look, “You should probably get out.”

“Fuck off/No way!”

Kate continued first, “I’m not leaving you Peter, you’re not allowed to give up!”

“If I fail you’ll get hurt.”

“No shit,” she took a seat firmly on the ground before him, “If this is what it takes to keep you going I’m going to sit right here until we get you out of this.”

“Where are we with that by the way?” Yelena looked back at the royal siblings.

“I-I can have a Vibranium support structure printed and ready to be slotted in within ten minutes,” the princess struggled to look away from Peter as she spoke, “The only problem is the buildings incline. The structure will have to be placed where Peter is, and unless we lift the building back to level it won’t be able to reach unless we blow out a wall on the other side which obviously won’t help things. We’ll have to bring it back to level.”

“Can you make something like that?” T’Challa asked.

“Yes but… not fast enough. It would take several hours.”

“Yeah I’m not really feeling several hours worth of okay.” Peter wheezed.

“You will have to lift it yourself.” Yelena told him.

“I’ve tried, I’m sorry but I’m barely keeping it up right now.”

“What about you?” Yelena looked at T’Challa, “You have magic Panther strength yes? You can help him?”

“It won’t be enough.” Shuri answered before T’Challa could, “My brother is strong but this… this shouldn’t be possible for two people, much less one.”

Yelena looked contemplative for a moment, before her eyes lit up, “And what about three?”

Shuri frowned, “I do not understand.”

“If two people like T’Challa were helping, would it be possible?”

Understanding dawned in her eyes, “He’ll never—“

“Would it work?”

“Maybe but why would he—“

“Do not concern yourself with that.” Yelena walked over to Kate and Peter, “Peter Parker I am going to go convince someone to help. I am very persuasive so there is no need to worry. I will be back soon. However if you drop this on yourself and Kate Bishop I will be very upset.”

He only grunted, “Noted.”

Kate looked at her in concern. “Are you sure?”

Yelena forced a smile, “Of course. Keep him awake please, and do not get crushed by a building.”

“I’ll do my best.”

Yelena nodded, and turned to leave, before pausing and turning around again. She leaned down and gave Kate a quick kiss, before standing up and looking at Peter.

“Let me guess,” he creaked out with a tired smirk, “Survive first kiss later?”

She responded by giving him an even lighter but no less affectionate kiss as not to sway him. She pulled back, “I will make exception this time.”

She left them then, suddenly and without hesitation, marching purposefully out of the building and into the horde of warriors looking for something to do.

She found Ayo quickly enough, “You, I am going to track down the man who killed your general, he is currently still in Wakanda. Would you like to join me?”

The warrior looked at her in suspicion, “How do I—“

“Ask your princess for clarity.” Yelena responded, already on the move once more.

Yelena Belova was a lot of things: assassin… well actually mostly assassin until recently. She was trying to be more, she wanted to be a chef, maybe a clothes designer on the side and definitely a lover. She was making good progress with that last one but she was constantly reminded how stunted she is. Kate would be able to stay by Peters side, whisper affirmations and motivations in his ear and keep him strong with an ease Yelena couldn’t comprehend, much less emulate.

So she would stick with what she knew. She wouldn’t call herself a hunter, but she could track people in her sleep, and if he needed persuading, well she was proficient with that too.

Unfortunately her first obstacle came in the form of the motorcycle she was attempting to steal having a completely different wiring system than any other in the world. She let Russian expletives flow from her as she kicked the machine in frustration.

“You are welcome to ride with us instead.”

She turned up find the Dora Milaje assembled behind Ayo, murder evident in their eyes. She huffed, “Fine, what are we taking?”

Soon they were flying through the air in the aptly named Dragon Flyer, scanning the ground around the Palace.

“Which way would he have gone?” Ayo asked.

“He is looking to test himself, and is insanely obsessed with nature,” Yelena responded before pointing towards the closest jungle. “I’m betting that way.”

The aircraft began cruising along, and as they searched Ayo spoke to her sisters, “Warriors! We go now to avenge Okoye, but do not let your bloodlust overwhelm you! Our quarry has stolen the amulet of the White Tiger, which means any lapse of judgement will bring death!”

Yelena eyed their spears, “He has magic claws too, they cut through Vibranium.”

Ayo blinked at her, “Truly?”

“You didn’t know?”

“The White Tiger has been inactive for centuries,” she responded, “With good reason. Those who champion Sekhmet command the powers of a war goddess, known for her destructive power.”

Yelena narrowed her eyes, “How destructive?”

“The last one to run wild killed three Panthers in a row before they were brought down.”

Yelena hummed, before pulling out her pistol, “Are they bulletproof?”

“Their flesh hardens but a strong arm and a sharp enough blade can still pierce.”

She cleared the chamber with a flourish, “Then a bullet will do just as well.”

Ayo eyed her, “You said you wanted to take him alive to help your Spider.”

“That would be the best case scenario.” Yelena responded, “But only fools do not plan for the worst.”

Ayo didn’t respond, but her agreement resounded all the same.

The group was prepared for a long and meticulous search, however as soon as they soared above the tree line, their target came to them. Or more accurately: he sent a log spearing through the air at them

It impacted one of the wings with the force of a freight train, not enough to puncture the hull, but definitely enough to send the Flyer spinning mid air.

“Hold on!” The pilot shouted. The Dora Milaje all heeded the advice. Yelena was already opening one of the side doors.

“What are you doing?“ Ayo shouted to her over the sudden rush of air.

Yelena loomed back, her hair whipping furiously as she hadn’t had time to put it in more than a ponytail after she was released, “You want to sit here while he throws trees at us be my guest! I’ll see you down there!” With that she threw herself out of the window.

Now it wasn’t the first time she had free fallen, nor was it the first time she had done it without a parachute. It was the first time she had fallen without a parachute and without Natasha or Peter coming to save her. That didn’t mean she didn’t have a plan.

They weren’t too terribly high over the tree line, so as she passed between the branches, she threw out her rappelling hook attached to her belt, planting it firmly into a nearby tree trunk and feeling it slow her descent before she could even reach terminal velocity.

She jumped quickly from branch to branch as she made her way down, before a shadow above her flashed by and suddenly her cord was severed, leaving her to hop down the last few branches with all the speed gravity could muster before rolling roughly on the jungle floor.

She had her gun out and scanning her surroundings before she even rose from her crouch. The jungle was alive with wind and insects, but no sign of Kraven presented itself right away, even as he started talking.

“I see you have wasted the mercy I showed you,” his voice echoed around the tiny clearing, if it even could be called that. It seemed as if he kept moving around her as he laughed, “I must say I’m glad. Between you and the Archer I predicted you would put up more of a fight.”

She rose slowly, “Be thankful I did not bring her. She’s a better shot than I am.”

“But no killer instinct!” He cackled. “That is what you have. That is what I admire!”

She rolled her eyes, “We don’t have to fight. Surrender yourself and return with us. There is a task you are now uniquely suited to helping with.”

“And what makes you think I have any interest in that?”

She shrugged, focusing her ears to try and pinpoint his location, “If you do not help, the Spider will die, and you will never get to hunt him.”

He only laughed in response, “You misunderstand me Widow! I do not wish to hunt him just to put his head on my wall, I wish to do it to prove myself superior, and if the little bug cannot even keep himself alive before that… then he was never worth hunting to begin with.”

Yelena only hummed in response, “So you will not help? No matter what I say?”

“I fear not.

Despite the situation, a slight smirk tugged at the corner of her lip. “Good.”

She spun around just in time to fire a shot a Kraven, who had leapt out of the foliage in what he had likely meant to be a stealthy attack. It seemed the Tiger was not as light-footed as the Panther.

The shot only winged him, knocking him out of the air, but the moment he hit the ground he was on the move again, running on all fours with inhuman efficiency.

She follows him with her pistol, sending several more shots his way, but he was too fast and too erratic. He disappeared into the jungle once more.

“You might want to ice that!” Yelena called out, only for a small blood covered piece of metal to shoot out of the foliage, bouncing off her chest. “Shit.”

“RAGH!” Kraven roared as he leapt out once more, too fast for her to get her gun up.

They both went tumbling through the brush, which apparently went to a steep incline just beyond the clearing, so they were both rolling over each other for a few moments before they tumbled to a stop with Kraven on top, he raised his sickly green claws and slashed down at her.

She growled out in agony as she raised her arms to block the strike, causing the claws to imbed themselves in her forearms. It did give her an opportunity to activate her stingers and shoot them point blank into his chest.

He roared even louder then, as the crimson glow of the electricity lit up his body, allowing her to buck him off and roll up safety as he clawed the taser disks off of him.

Unfortunately he managed to get his own arm up in time to protect this face as she fired a few bullets at it. The rounds that should have went right through his flesh instead got stuck only an inch in.

“That’s so not fair.” Yelena grumbled before holstering her weapon and pulling out her batons, extending them both with a flick of her wrist and lighting them up with red energy.

Kraven lowered his arm as he got too his feet, easily towering over the blonde who only stared up at him in focused defiance.

“You may not live to regret this,” he smiled.

She only let out a roar of her own and went on the offensive. She found herself pushed to her limit almost immediately trying to keep up with his enhanced reflexes, and avoiding his immense strength. Thankfully she was a Widow, fighting faster against those who are stronger is what they were made for.

As it was, the only reason she didn’t die was the batons electricity, forcing Kraven to avoid their painful debilitating touch. She rolled away from a downward strike and struck out at his kneecap, taking him down with a snarl.

“You cannot-rngh- cannot beat me!” He cried, eyes noticeably more bloodshot than before, “I am… Kraven! The hunter! I’ll rip you a apart.

Yelena slapped him across the face with her baton in response and he just kept screaming.

As they fought, Yelena was both relieved and disturbed to find her opponents attacks grow wilder and less refined. He barely spoke, letting out groans and roars that grew more bestial by the second.

“Hold still so I can kill you!” He growled.

“You first.” She snapped back before dodging ever so slightly so the spear thrown behind her went right past her neck and into Kraven gut before he could react.

The feral hunter hollered once more as the Dora Milaje emerged from the brush around him, spears aimed for his throat.

Yelena turned to see Ayo, minus her spear, standing behind her trying very hard to not look impressed. “Nice dodge.”

She snorted, “Who says I didn’t just get lucky. What took you all so long?”

“We had to land first.”

“Psh. Lame. Cool people never land properly. Jumping out or crashing is how the pros do it.”

Ayo looked ready to argue with her, but Kraven barking cut her off, the prick, “So the dogs come to avenge the alpha bitch eh?” He yanked the spear out and threw it at her feet

Ayo glared at him but didn’t lose her control, “You will surrender and answer for the murder of General Okoye, or you will die now resisting us.” She picked up her spear and flicked it to her side, throwing the blood off in one quick motion, “Please feel free to resist.”

“My pleasure.” He let out another roar then, but this one lacked anything remotely human. The spears surrounding him closed in but he leapt over them with ease, pouncing on the nearest warrior with claws activated. She held her spear haft up to block, only for his claws to sheer through and plunge into her shoulder, sending her screaming to the ground.

“Use the other end!” Yelena yelled out as she jumped on Kraven’s back, jamming her batons into his neck for a few seconds before leaping off as claws swiped after her, “Nothing else slows him down.”

At first only a few listened while the rest took swipes and jabs at the man, the few hits that landed seeming inconsequential to him as he just kept fighting, a tornado of claws amongst a field of spears

Eventually however one tried it, flipping her weapon and landing a hit on his back, sending the shock through him and causing him to practically scamper away liked a startled animal before he rushed back into the fight.

More and more followed suit, getting zaps in here and there, with Yelena delivering some shocks of her own when she could.

As the hunter turned more animalistic and wild, it became easier to corral him, leading him into another circle surrounded by the electrified ends of the spears, until they closed in and delivered it all at once.

He roared and flailed, and grabbed a few spears and tossed them into the air with their wielder still holding them, but more would always take their place. Still however he didn’t go down. His voice sounded out with a distinct growl in his tone, “You-urgh-you cannot stop me! I am Kraven! I am the Hunter! I am —“

BANG!

The man’s speech was cut off as Yelena had taken his predicament as an opportunity to put a bullet in his head, “You are too loud.”

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

The Dora Milaje around her only watched as the blonde fired shot after shot into the same spot in the man’s forehead until she could see clearly behind the man through the hole in his skull.

As they with drew their spears and let the body slump to the floor, Yelena stalked forward towards it, Ayo meeting her next to it. “You killed him.”

Yelena simply rolled the body over as she responded, “You’re not going to be annoying about it are you? I am pretty sure my partners are already going to be mad at me-“

“I do not judge.” Ayo cut her off, a fought smile creeping through her lips, “I simply wanted to thank you.”

Yelena raised an eyebrow, eyeing the jade amulet that had apparently fused itself with the flesh of Kraven’s chest, “Do not thank me yet.”

Before anyone could stop her, she pulled out a knife and began to cut.

The warriors surrounding her were immediately on edge once more as Ayo reared back with her spear ready, “What are you doing Belova?”

She ripped the Tiger free of the corpse and scraped the leftover bits of flesh off of it, “We need the Tiger. Unless one of you wants to wear it?”

None volunteered, but that didn’t stop Ayo from hissing her protests, “It is Cursed! You saw how it degrades his mind! It will do the same to you!”

“Not if I take it off first.”

“You might not want to!”

Yelena looked her dead in the eye, “In that case, I suggest you prepare to put down another cat. My Spider needs help, are you going try and stop me?”

Ayo wanted to, that much was clear in her eyes, but as dangerous as the Dora Milaje were, the warning in Yelena Belova’s eyes were enough to convince her otherwise. “May Bast guide you.”

She shrugged as she held the Tiger before looking down at her utility belt, “Pretty sure she is not involved with this one.”

Peter was having a bad time.

He wished he could say it was the worst time he’d ever had, but dying in the snap, followed immediately by reviving and watching Tony die held the top spot for sure, followed immediately by Ben and May’s deaths.

Still though, it was no picnic. His legs had turned to jelly ages ago, and his shoulders were screaming at him to give them a reprieve.

He wanted to listen to them. The idea of being buried in rubble, again, was panic inducing at best, but as time wore on the alternative of the burning in his muscles continuing on slowly outclassed it.

Dropping it was not an option however, especially now that Kate was there. He’d asked her to leave so many times as he worried his grip was slipping but she refused, cheering him on, telling him he had it, he was Spider-Man, Come on Spider-Man!

Having to say the words to himself when he was fifteen had been hard but necessary, and almost empowering at the time. Now, after hearing it from Kate he wondered how fifteen year old Peter had managed it at all.

Kate sounded like she actually believed in him, instead of the fake-it-til-you-make-it strategy he had used. It was enough to give him the strength to keep going for far longer than he thought he could.

Still, everything had its limits.

“Guys!” Kate called back in a panic, “His eyes are fluttering again!” She cupped his face and pressed her forehead to his, “I’m sorry Peter I know it’s hard but you have to keep it up for a little longer!”

Black spots were dancing in his vision, threatening to overwhelm him, but he blinked them away once more , “I-I’m up! I’m good… I’m tired Kate.”

“I know you are. You’re doing so good Peter,” she soothed, “I promise you, Yelena’s going to be back soon and we’re going to get you out of here.”

It was then that Shuri approached, swatting her brother away in irritation as he attempted to stay near her in case it fell. “The support is ready, and the hydraulic lift device is being manufactured, but it won’t be here for a while.”

Peter cried a little inside, but only have her a smile, “Nice. Hey um, I felt like, seven cracks in my… bones? That’s bad right?”

“Which bones?” Shuri asked seriously while Kate freaked out silently.

“All of them I think.”

Shuri looked at T’Challa, “Start lifting.”

“Now?”

“Yes now!” She scolded, “The human body, even a spidery one, isn’t built for this amount of pressure! If we don’t start letting some of it off him now it won’t matter how tired he is, go!”

“Alright!” He surrendered.

“And lift with your legs!”

“I know how to lift!” T’Challa groaned as he got into position beside Peter.

“Sir…” Peter whispered so only he could hear, “You don’t have to—“

“No, my friend, you didn’t have to. You are not this country’s chosen protector, I am. Despite that you stepped forward and did what I could not. This is the least I can do in return.”

With that he braced himself against the ceiling and began to push, and Peter really did feel a few tears fall. He wouldn’t admit it for fear of being disrespectful, but only seemed like a fraction of the weight had been lifted, maybe a fifth at best. Still the slim relief was heavenly to him and he reveled in it while he could.

Meanwhile T’Challa immediately began sending silent prayers to Bast as the burden crashed down on him.

“Where’s the Hulk when you need him right?” Peter japed. The king didn’t answer, and marveled at the younger man’s ability to talk at all.

Still though, the building didn’t rise, and Yelena wasn’t back yet.

“Okay, so this probably really stupid and not going to help at all,” Kate spoke up as she got into position beside them, “But I’m with you okay?” She began to push as well.

It made no actual difference of course, but as Peter watched her strain against the ceiling with all the strength she had, the burden felt just a tad lighter to him.

Outside, the warriors watching their king with awe, saw Kates actions. Some rolled their eyes, one even laughed, but one was inspired, and stepped forward.

He positioned himself before his king and nodded to him, “I am with you my king.” He then looked to Peter, “And with you, Spider-Man.” He grunted as he struggled to take some of the burden away.

Another followed suit, then another, until eventually half of the personnel on hand stood with the heroes pushing with all they had while rest stood ready with the support, waiting to slide it in.

That many people, to Peters amazement, did begin to make a difference. A bit more than T’Challa, but still not quite enough. Still, it was inspiring, and he quickly decided that if all the normal people could give their all like that, then a superhero must surely have a little extra.

He grunted and groaned, and strained his body even further than he thought possible. He felt parts of his suit tear as his muscle tightened and bulged.

And the roof lifted a bit.

Shuri was ecstatic, “That’s it! Just a little more!”

He didn’t have a little more but ye kept giving what he did have, and it felt like it began rising bit by bit, ever so slowly.

Then, he was nearly startled into dropping it as a familiar voice sounded in front of him. “Who said you can start without me?”

His eyes shot open to see Yelena had returned, with the rest of the Dora Milaje getting into position behind her. They were far out of his concern however as he took Yelena in. Her white suit was splattered with blood, a portion of it seemingly hers but he couldn’t find a scratch on her. He didn’t want to know where the rest came from.

What really threw him were the eyes, they were bright yellow, glowing with feline slit pupils. Upon second inspection he deduced it might have something to do with the weird green tiger thing she had at clipped to the front of her belt.

“You look different.” He stated numbly.

“A good different?” She asked as she braced herself to lift.

“I don’t think you’re capable of a bad different.” The blood wasn’t his favorite but that didn’t seem the right moment to bring it up.

She grinned, flashing too sharp canines, “You are very sweet. Now let’s get this off you yes?”

He nodded and together than began to lift once more. Peter was immediately shocked at the sheer noticeable difference Yelena made. Whatever she had done, it worked wonders.

He closed his eyes to focus, much like Everyone else involved, so no one noticed when the jade tiger on Yelena’s belt shimmered and began to flood red, like a droplet of blood spreading in water.

What Shuri did notice was that the building was now high enough for the support, “That’s it! Push!” Her subjects eagerly moved to do so, ushering a few lifters aside as the quickly moved the structure toward Peter.

Shuri ran ahead to talk to the enhanced, “Listen close, on my signal you need to fall away as fast as you can so we can slide it in after you. Understand?”

They all nodded, falling was all their bodies wanted to do in that moment anyways.

“And… NOW!”

Peter let go of the ceiling along with the others and lightly pushed to self backwards just in time for the support to slide in place. The building remained standing.

He allowed himself one half-hearted ‘woo’ as everyone cheered around him before succumbing to unconsciousness.

He didn’t dream, much to his relief. He rarely dreamed in general but when he did it was like a montage of all the people he failed. Perhaps the darkness was a reward this time?

Eventually the light returned, and his eyes opened once more, much to his surprise after feeling like he was dying for nearly an hour.

He was met with the familiar situation of lying on a bed in Shuri’s lab, though without the restraints this time. He blinked the sleep out of his eyes and looked around.

The first thing to catch his attention was the person in the bed next to him. Yelena was lying still unconscious, though a quick scan with his senses revealed she was breathing fine, and her heart rate was steady, if a little stronger than before.

When he tried to sit up to go check on her, a hand pressed down from his other side. He turned to see an amused Shuri beside him holding back a snicker, “She’s fine, everyone’s fine. Try worrying about yourself for a moment hmm?”

He let her push him back down processing her words in a haze, “Nobody got hurt?”

“Well I wouldn’t say that. Most who helped lift strained a few muscles at least, but nothing they won’t recover from. My brother, the big baby, is still recovering in his own quarters. Your girlfriend here was probably the worst off besides you, she apparently has as good an understanding of self preservation as you do. She managed to completely snap a few muscles and tendons when she finally arrived.”

Peter winced at her words, “I thought you said she was okay!”

The princess rolled her eyes and walked over to Yelena, “She is. All of her injuries are already healed, thanks to this.” At that she pulled down the blanket covering the blonde before Peter could protest.

Fortunately she was clothed in a thin medical gown, atop which rested the same weird tiger trinket that he saw on her earlier, though now it was blood red instead of green.

“What is that thing anyways?” He asked, “did it give her super strength?”

“Among other things.” Shuri answers before covering the woman back up, “Long story short, it’s called the White Tiger Amulet, and it’s a magical totem that bestows the power of Sekhmet on those who wear it. It used to be worn by second protector of Wakanda.

“A second protector… wait if you had it all this time why haven’t I heard about it? Is the White Tiger sneakier? The thing with Thanos seemed like an all super hands on deck situation…”

Shuri shrugged, “The White Tiger hasn’t been active for centuries, ever since t became cursed and Sekhmet was rejected by Wakanda.” Upon seeing his alarm she cut him off before he could say anything, “The curse is lifted now… I think.”

“You think!?”

“Well it changed color when she was wearing, which seemed pretty significant, and it hasn’t warped her mind into a savage animal’s despite wearing it for several hours, so I’m reasonably sure.” She held her hands up at the suspicious look on her face, “I’m a scientist not a sorcerer! And according to our records not even they knew what to make of the damn thing! It’s a divine artifact, mortal minds aren’t really built for comprehending it.”

Peter still wasn’t sure, but he let it go for now, “What about Kate? Is she…”

“Fine as well. She got off easier than most, only a bit sore. She was determined to wait for you to wake up, but she kept fluttering around here in a nervous tizzy so I kicked her out.”

“Rude.”

She didn’t deny it, “She’s fine! Last I heard she was rambling to the Dora Milaje about atlatls. I’m pretty sure I’m going to get some weapon modification request because of it, but they’re having a good time.”

Peter didn’t know what an atlatl was off the top of his head so he just nodded, “Okay… and me? Am I okay? I feel fine but—“

“That’s only because you’re pumped full of pain meds. You can thank Kate for alerting me to your metabolism. Most of your skeletal structure suffered hairline fractures.”

“Oof.”

“Yeah, oof.” She agreed, “That said, by the rate your body is working, you should be fully healed by tomorrow.” She seemed to hesitate before continuing, “I didn’t take you seriously about the dangers your blood could bring before. I apologize. The things you’re body is capable of… I think we’re very lucky you’re the only one this happened to.”

Peter scoffed, “Lucky. Right, story of my life.”

“I understand if you’d rather not say, but I have to ask… how did this happen to you?”

He shrugged, “I’m not really sure. There was a field trip to a lab specializing in analyzing the Chitauri tech, just a showcase, nothing dangerous supposed to be in reach. Then I got bit by a spider.”

She stared at him, “Deadass?”

The sudden American slang caught him off guard and caused him to choke out a laugh. “Uh yeah deadass. I think it might have been irradiated with weird alien energy or something. I went home feeling like shit, took a nap—“

“You didn’t go to the hospital?!”

“For what could have just been food poisoning? My family wasn’t exactly rolling in cash back then…”

“Gods your country is fucked.”

He snorted, “Pretty sure we all know, just living in denial at this point. Anyways I took a nap as a scrawny nerd with glasses, woke up with abs. Crazy right?”

“I’d call you insane if you hadn’t just held an entire building in your back. On second thought, maybe you are.”

“W-well I was reasonably sure I could do it…” he defended.

“Was that not the first building you’ve held?!”

His jaw tightened, “Well I mean… first one that big. When I was younger I was fighting this arms dealer guy with big robot wings, and he collapsed a warehouse on top of me…” He noticed her alarm and quickly spoke faster, “It was scary at first but I lifted it off eventually! Then I caught the guy and put him in jail. Alls well that ends well right?”

“How much younger are we talking about?”

“Eh fifteen? That’s why I was… well not sure, but I felt like I had a chance of catching the building cause I’m probably a lot stronger now cause of… puberty and stuff.”

Shuri raised an eyebrow, “Cause of puberty and stuff?”

“I mean I’ve gotten stronger since then! Look can we just pretend I didn’t say that!?”

She eyes him, apparently contemplating before nodding, “I will let it slide this time. But only because you saved several hundred of my citizens in a valorous act of heroism.”

He flinched at her words, “That’s laying it on a bit thick don’t you think?”

“No.” She deadpanned, “and if you think that was bad, just wait until the awards ceremony my mother is planning. My brother likes to claim to be the “bad boy king” when he’s off saving the world but give him a speech to deliver and he’s every bit as dull and traditional as our forefathers.”

He gulped, “A whole ceremony? Do we have to?”

“You can keep your mask on if that’s what you’re worried about, it will be broadcast but only to Wakanda.”

“No I mean …what about the trial? Was that settled already?”

He then nearly screamed in frustration as she detailed the events with Kraven mere minutes after he escaped the lab.

“So yeah, that’s settled now. He’s been brought to justice, thanks in no small part to Yelena, so as soon as we’re done with the ceremony you’re free to go.”

He groaned, letting his inner teenager loose in his tired state, “Do I have too?”

She chuckled, “Look at the bright side: you get to choose you’re rewards. And don’t try the ‘I didn’t do it for a reward’ line, it’s not getting you out of it.”

He grumbled a bit before glancing over at Yelena. An idea sprung to mind. “Exactly how much input am I allowed to contribute?”

She tilted her head, “What do you mean?”

“Got room in your lab for one more?”

Yelena awoke feeling like she had just had an incredibly weird dream that slipped away the moment she opened her eyes.

That was of low importance. What was important was that she was not restrained and she was in an unfamiliar environment. Panic blasted through her, visions of a saw coming down on her skull flashed through her mind and she was up in an instant ready to fight.

Only to be caught by a pair of strong arms, which she immediately struggled against, she quickly broke free and turned with her hand raised to claw at whoever had her… since when was that her first instinct?

Her mind cleared then, and she saw Peter with his suit on, minus the mask backing away with his hands raised, “Sorry! You looked like you were freaking out, I was worried you were gonna hurt yourself!”

Memories of where they were rushed back to her. Wakanda. The building. “Peter.”

He smiled nervously, “Yeah, Peter! Could you… put the claws away?”

Claws? She looked at her raised hand and noticed with shock that they were sporting the same kind of energy based claws Kraven had used, though hers were red instead of green. She straightened her fingers and they disappeared in an instant, “Huh…”

“Yeah I got to say, you didn’t really need to get more scary but it’s kinda… hot?” He blinked at her, “huh, the eyes went away too.”

She looked down and saw that the Tiger amulet had been put on a bead necklace and looped around her neck, now the same color as her claws. “They left it on me?”

He nodded, “Well you kinda went too hard lifting with me, which I appreciate by the way you really pulled through for me. Thank you.”

She hated the heat the simple phrase brought to her face, “…it was nothing.”

He obviously didn’t agree but continued anyway, “Basically they said you some how broke a curse on that thing which, how? Amazing? But they left it on because it apparently heals the wearer pretty quick.”

She was aware of that, it was a huge annoyance when she was fighting Kraven. Speaking of which, “So… you know what I did?”

He shifted uncomfortably and her heart sunk rapidly. “Yeah… I know you killed him.”

She swallowed forcibly past the lump in her throat. When did his opinion become as important to her as Kate Bishops? “And you are upset with me, it goes against your—“?

“Hey!” He grabbed her shoulders, gently this time, “I’m not upset with you. Ayo told me everything that happened, what the amulet did to him at the end… I know you had no choice.”

She didn’t meet his eyes, “It was not the first time I killed, it likely won’t be the last. It is not my first instinct to show mercy Peter Parker.”

He was silent for a moment, before letting out a shuddering breath, “Yelena, it’s not mine either.”

Now she did look at him and her shame reflected in his own eyes, “I tried to kill the guy who shot my uncle. He ended up falling off a roof trying to get away from me but if he hadn’t… and the guy who killed May… I beat him within an inch of his life, and would have done worse if one of the other Peters didn’t physically stop me.”

He pulled her close and spoke the rest in her ear, “I’ll never judge you for doing what you have to Yelena, or what you felt you need to. I’m scared of what I might become if I give in to the urge and no one’s there to stop me, but that doesn’t mean I’m disgusted by you just because you never had that privilege. Okay?”

Yelena was thankful they were embracing the way they were, as if meant he couldn’t see the steady stream of tears poring from her face, “Okay…”

They held each other for a long time, just the two of them alone as Yelena struggled to get herself under control. Eventually the tears stopped and she wiped her eyes before pulling away, giving him a grateful look, to which he responded with that goofy smile that annoyed her jealous heart when she first met him. Now it sent a fluttering sensation through her stomach.

“If you’re feeling better, we kind of have somewhere to be. We’re a bit late actually…”

She looked down and noticed her state of dress, only wearing a medical gown. “Do I get to dress first or…”

“Oh yeah! Hold on I’ll get your suit for you. Kate’s waiting for us there by the way.”

“She is uninjured?” She felt a flash of guilt for not asking sooner.

He chuckled, “Oh she’s fine. She’s been having a great time chucking spears with the others. I’ll let her tell you about it.” He returned from the other end of the lab with her suit clean and repaired, much like his was.

“Alright. Where are we going?”

The Throne room was much more crowded than the last time they were there, which was literally just that morning, but felt like way longer.

Kate had greeted her two lovers exuberantly when they finally arrived but had to wrap it up quickly as the ceremony began, with T’Challa giving a speech. True to Shuri’s words, it was dull, repetitive, and overall way too lengthy a medium when all he was trying to say was: ‘thanks for helping out.’

“Know that from now and forevermore, you shall always be friends of Wakanda.” He assured grandly, pausing for the applause of the many subjects gathered in the room, “And as a token of our appreciation, gifts have been prepared by my sister.” He gestured for Shuri to step forward, which she did with attitude, clearly bored with all the pomp and circumstance. She did smile genuinely as she approached Kate first, who practically vibrated at the sight of a fresh quiver of shiny new arrows, “These all Vibranium-laced, with instructions for each in what they do and how best to use them.”

The young Hawkeye accepted them with reverence, thanking her profusely the princess whispered something in her ear, causing both to smile conspiratorially.

Next was Yelena, who was presented with… her own batons. Before she could question, Shuri explained, “I took the liberty of upgrading them with Vibranium as well as increasing their electrical output. Also,” she then snapped them together in their staff girl, before twisting one end, causing a wicked Vibranium spear tip to extend outs of the end, “A certain someone informed me you had grown attached to our spear design.” She shot Peter a sly look, who only narrowed his lenses in response.

Yelena took the weapon almost hungrily before eyeing Peter with a near predatory look in her eye. He decided to blame the amulet.

Finally she came to him, and he whispered before she could say anything, “You were supposed to keep it a secret!”

She smirked, “Peter, there really is no shame in your lovers knowing the contributions you put forth in their gifts. Women tend to like that sort of a thing in a man.”

He scowled though she couldn’t see it, and she only laughed at his silence, “You are still young, you will learn.”

“We’re like the same age!”

Ignoring him, she raised her voice again so the room could hear, “For now, please accept this.”

She held up a cylinder of raw Vibranium that he took delicately. “This is—“

“Symbolic, mostly. You have impressed me in more ways than one. I see a fellow creator in you, and I hope despite my… misplacement of your web fluid earlier, that you will be open to future correspondence and potential collaborations on future projects.”

Peter looked at her in temporary confusion , causing T’Challa to speak up from behind with no small amount of amusement, “What my sister s trying to say is that she wants to make friends Spider. I always thought that lab seemed lonesome…”

“Yes thank you!” Shuri gritted out without looking back at her brother, just eyeing Peter with what he now realized was anticipation.

“Uh- yeah sure!” He agreed, “I guess we could exchange numbers or—“

“Excellent!” T’Challa thundered, apparently ready to bring the ceremony to a close. “Go now friends, with our apologies and our appreciation!”

“Wait a second.” Yelena spoke up, slipping the White Tiger amulet off her neck and holding it forward, “You do not want this?”

Murmurs flooded through the room, likely at the casual nature with which Yelena’s had offered back such immense power.

T’Challa only smiled at her knowingly, “This council has concluded that the amulet has chosen you to the bear the title of White Tiger. Should you not desire it we will of course take it back but—“

“No I want it.” She quickly put the amulet back on, eliciting several chuckled from the crowd.

The king couldn’t withhold one as well, “Well your consideration is admirable. All we ask of you, should you use its power in the outside world, is to do so with honor and good judgement.”

Yelena shrugged and gestured to Kate and Peter, “They will keep me honorable. I’m afraid not one of us has shown any sign of good judgment.”

“I’m sure you will do your best .”

With that the ceremony was concluded, and the three walked out with shiny new toys.

Peter examined his container of Vibranium worriedly, “I have no idea where I’m going to keep this.”

“So.” Kate walked up, waving her new arrows in front of him, “You thought you could help make us super thoughtful gifts and just not tell us huh?”

He blushed, “W-well technically they’re from Wakanda. I just—“

“You will not excuse yourself from this one.” Yelena interrupted, holding her batons in spear form with reverence, “You were a kind and thoughtful boyfriend and now you must suffer the consequences.”

He chuckled nervously, “What uh… what did you have in mind?”

The two looked at one another then smiled in a terrifying (exciting?) manner, “You’ll see when we get home.”

The word home was enough to offset the panic they had instilled in him, “Yeah alright. Let’s go home.”

Chapter Text

Peter Parker was pretty sure he was in heaven. He was okay with it. So what if he died? So far it seemed worth it.

What use was living when he could enjoy the gentle pairs of hands stroking him up and down, sending shivers of pleasure with every pass.

He moaned in ecstasy, “God that feels…”

“Good?” Kate’s voice whispered in his ear, his eyes shut tight in euphoria.

“So good…” he agreed easily.

In his other ear Yelena’s voice sounded slightly offended, “Just good? I happen to be a master of this art Peter Parker, refined over years of practice and you say it is just good?”

“It’s amazing!” He corrected with a groan,“Its like nothing I’ve ever felt before!”

“Hmph, that’s what I thought.”

Suddenly the hands glided over a certain spot that sent electricity coursing through his body, “Oh! There!”

“Where? Here?” The teasing was obvious but he didn’t care. He directed them back to the spot quickly, filled with overwhelming need for satisfaction. His eyes fluttered behind their lids when they found the spot once more.

“You like that?” Kate practically hissed, and just that was overwhelming to him now.

“Yes…”

“Here Kate Bishop let me show you. If you make your hand like this, it is much more pleasure.”

“Oh, like… this? Did I do it right?”

“You did it right!” Peter assured her.

After a few more minutes of smooth motion, Kate finally paused, taking her hands off Peters bare back to catch her breath, “This is tougher than I thought! I’m never taking my masseuse for granted again.”

The ladies were stood clad in fluffy white bathrobes on either side of Peter, who laid face down on a massage table in simple athletic shorts, trying his very best not to whimper now that their hands were off of him. They had set up the amateur massage parlor in Yelena’s apartment as part of Peters special thank-you for their gifts in Wakanda. It was rather appropriate, lifting buildings tended to result in killer backaches.

They had returned the night before to an only-slightly panicked Clint. When he saw that they were fine and even rocking new gear he simply rolled his eyes and left for the airport, promising to return the next month if they promise to give him less of a headache.

“You’re actually doing very well,” Yelena insisted, “It’s just that this one’s muscles are so dense, we have to use much pressure to achieve success.”

“Maybe we should make this a regular thing,” Kate pondered as she shook the soreness out of her arms, “It’s a pretty good workout.”

“I’d be open to that…” Peter remarked hopefully.

“I’m sure you would,” Yelena spoke dryly, but the amusement in her eyes was evident to Kate, who only giggled quietly. “Perhaps I should get the tiger amulet and see how much better it feels then hmm?”

To their amused delight, he actually seemed to consider it for a minute, before sighing dejectedly, “That would sound really good if not for the risk of glowing claws tearing me to shreds.”

“Awww you don’t trust me?”

He stretched his arms above his head, unwittingly capturing their gazes as his back muscles flexed and rolled, before he turned over to sit up “More like I don’t trust the sketchy magic amulet we know next to nothing about.”

Kate frowned, “You sure you’re done? I was just taking a breather, we can keep going if you want.”

He flexed his shoulders back in forth, marveling at the feeling, “Nah I’m good. I honestly feel like a new man after that, and if we really went as long as I want we’d be here til tomorrow. I don’t want to miss class or work again.”

“No sore spots, kinks or anything?” Yelena asked, inspecting him closely.

“Totally kinkless!” He smiled cheerily before realizing what he said, “Uh I mean—“

“Peter, sweetie baby honey,” Kate singsonged while cupping his face affectionately, “Everyone has kinks. If you don’t know yours yet that’s okay! We’re here to help—“

“Alright!” he cut her off with a red face and a playful shove, forcing her back a step as her composure finally broke once more.

As Peter began to get dressed and Kate laughed herself silly, Yelena took on a contemplative expression, “My guess is BDSM related. You do have a proclivity for tying people up.”

“I web people up!” He protested as Kate began wheezing beside him, “And no! It’s not! Jeez now tonights patrol is gonna feel super awkward, thanks for that.”

“You’re welcome.”

He rolled his eyes at her unrepentant smirk as he smoothed down his shirt, “Seriously though, thank you both, that felt amazing,” he hesitated for a moment, before leaning in to give Yelena a quick peck on the lips, retreating afterwards to gauge her reaction.

She only looked at him with wide eyes, “What was that?!”

His heart sunk, “I-sorry I thought the timing was-I should have asked-“

“We give you a whole damn massage and all I get is a tiny little butterfly kiss? I knew Americans were stingy but this is unacceptable.”

“O-Oh. Right… can I try again?”

“If you know what’s good for you.”

He steeled his nerves and went in again, this time lingering far longer and allowing his hands to thread into the blonde locks that sat up in a loose bun.

He pulled away after a few moments with a hopeful grin, “Better?”

Yelena eyes him for a moment, before actually licking her lips as if to determine the flavor, “A decent improvement.”

She swept out of the room before he could embarrass himself further, much to his relief as he was sure he was about to. He turned to find Kate standing with her arms behind her back, looking at him expectantly.

A flash of guilt appeared as he realized what he had done right in front of her but she must have noticed it, “Dude, relax, we’re all dating remember? I also happen to like watching you two kiss,” she stepped forward and draped her arms around his neck, “I actually find it very sexy.”

Before he could respond her lips were on his as she took her turn making his mind go blank. Eventually when she was done the first thing that popped into his head was, “Are we weird?”

She only snickered, “You’re part spider, Yelena is sort of part tiger sometimes now, and I bring a bow to gun fights on the regular. I think our relationship is the least weird thing we have going on.”

He nodded at her logic, finding comfort in its absurdity. Then, just because he could he kissed her again.

She gasped dramatically when he released her, “Sneaking a second one behind Yelena’s back Mr. Parker?”

He wrinkled his nose, “Don’t call me that, makes me feel an old man.

“You’re literally the youngest one here but sure Jan.”

After that memorable morning, Peter had to go in early to pick up a shift at work before class, seeing as he’d been kidnapped the day before and delivery jobs aren’t exactly a secure position.

It wasn’t nearly as bad as he was used to however, as his runs were interspersed with texts from Kate asking him random questions and giving updates on what Yelena and her were up to (including a shoulder-up selfie of herself freshly showered in a bath towel which he definitely did NOT save to a private folder before deleting). At first they were watching tv, then talking about lunch plans, then apparently got into a huge debate on the different types of Kraft macaroni.

It left him feeling giddy as he went about his day. So much had happened since they had agreed to be together that they hadn’t actually had time to well… be together. As in be in a relationship without a constant threat on the horizon. Granted it had only been a few days, but superhero days apparently ran longer.

When he was with MJ they would text back and forth pretty regularly, but Peter was usually the instigator more often than not. Not that he minded, Michele was always a girl of few but powerful words, it was part of why he liked her.

Still, it was definitely nice being on the other end of it this time. He imagined some guys might find the regular stream of texts annoying, but it wasn’t like she was expecting him to respond to them all. If he really needed to focus he could just put it on silent. Peter found it incredibly flattering and reassuring, knowing that even though she was alone with Yelena, she still wanted to involve him as well.

As he exited the stairwell of his most recent delivery, he saw that she had asked him about his favorite kind.

Peter: white cheddar but the original kind

Kate: original kind???

Peter: they changed the elbow pasta to shells and it’s not the same

Kate: …

Kate: did they change the cheese?

Peter: no just the pasta

Kate: you mean the pasta shape

Peter: ye

Kate: then how is it different

Peter: it has bad vibes

Kate: Im buying sum

Kate: we r getting to the bottom of this

Peter: you can’t get the original tho so you won’t be able to tell the diff

Kate: wdym

Peter: I’ve looked online and at every store in NY it’s G O N E

Kate: dramatic

Peter chuckled as he leapt from rooftop to rooftop. It likely wasn’t the best idea to text and parkour, but he trusted his spider-sense to keep him from wiping out.

Kate: uhhhhh

Kate: yer right

Kate: wait Yelena knows smthng

Kate: UHHHH

Kate: they sell them on the BLACK MARKET

Kate: for like fifty bucks a box

Kate: the fuck?

Peter: send the link

Kate: Peter no

Peter: Peter yes

Kate: that’s too much for m and c my guy

Kate: I thought you were poor

Kate: no offense

Peter: none taken

Peter: some prices are worth paying

Kate: omg

Kate: fifty tho?

Peter: you don’t want to know what I’d give

Peter: to taste that rich creamy delight

Kate: oh

Peter: feel it’s mushy cheesy goodness Slide down my throat

Kate: is this hot?

Kate: Yelena says it is

Kate: tell us more about what you’d do to those naughty noodles

Peter grinned down at his phone like an idiot as he described eating Mac in cheese in the most graphic, X-Rated fashion he could manage. Looking back on it later in life he might feel a touch of shame for the things he said, but lucky for him it just seemed to amuse his girlfriends to no end. Turns out not having to actually see them made dirty talk (or whatever the fuck it was that he was doing) way easier.

Peter: and for the rest id take then one by one and suck each of them dry until not a single drop of cheese remained

Peter: and only THEN would I swallow

Kate: hot

Kate: is this food porn?

Kate: wait it’s written so

Kate: food smut!

Kate: You really gotta talent for it!

Peter: why thank you!

Kate: I’m not sending you the link

Peter: X(

Kate: is that a pouty face?

Peter: it’s a face of the BETRAYED

Kate: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Peter: wow you’re way better at that

Kate: I know

Kate: ready for class?

Peter: not really

Kate: whyyy?

Peter: Doc Connors said she’d tell me yesterday about the internship

Peter: I didn’t show up

Peter: might as well spit in her face. Evenif the answer was yes I’m sure it’s no now.

Kate: listen here mr drama

Kate: you just explain to her that you were otherwise occupied

Kate: I’ll back you up!

Peter thought back to that conversation he’d had where Dr. Connors had essentially asked him if he was helping Kate under the promise of sex.

Peter: I don’t think that’ll help tbh

Kate: it’ll work out. I’m positive

Peter: well I’m negative you know what that means

Kate: what

Peter: opposites attract ;)

Kate: …

Kate: didn’t get me

Kate: e fi mi us did to If This is Yelena she is blushing very much good work

Peter: all in a days work B^)

Kate: u 2 suck

Peter: I suck macaroni B^)

Kate: wow

The texts slowed down a bit from there as he finished his shift, and Dr. Connors class swiftly approached.

Truth be told, despite telling himself not to get his hopes up, he has been pretty excited. While not a world renown scientist like Bruce Banner or Tony Stark, Peter could tell Catherine Connors knew her stuff, both in how quickly and accurately she analyzed his web fluid, as well as with just how she taught. He would never call her a bad teacher, because she wasn’t. She was patient and accommodating to all her students. Sometimes however, he’d see that look of confusion on her face when a student asks a question. As if they had just asked her what two plus two was or what color was the sky.

He’d seen that look on Tony’s face when talking to just about anyone. To Connors, teaching her class must have felt like teaching kindergarteners basic shapes and colors.

So what if she wasn’t published or famous? Any good scientist knew that the real work was slow, tedious, and nearly devoid of recognition until actual results were produced.

Unless you were Tony Stark but there was always exceptions.

He arrived to class rather sweaty, as he hadn’t had time to change after his shift. That was lucky as no one would see him sweating even more when the Professor entered the room.

“She seems mad,” he whispered to Kate, who was still setting up her notebook beside him.

“She literally just walked in.” She told him without looking up. “Look if it helps you relax, just know that someones pulling some strings to make sure it works out.”

That didn’t make him feel better at all, “Please tell me Yelena didn’t blackmail her or something!”

She scoffed, “Peter! Do you really think That Yelena would… the point is she didn’t. It’s fine okay? Do you trust me?”

His anxiety said no, but the look in her eyes swayed him, “I… yeah. I trust you.”

“Okay then, now let’s focus. This subject has been killing me, I might ask for some help with it later, is that okay?”

He blinked, “Of course… come to think of it are we still doing the study group thing?”

“Nope. I paid for private tutors for them all.”

“Wha-Why?”

She looked at him like it was obvious, “So I don’t have to share you while we’re studying.” When he didn’t respond right away she seemed to process what she had said, “Wait… was that a psycho jealous girlfriend move?”

Peter suppressed a snicker, “I’m pretty sure you had nothing but pure intentions… hiring the tutors was a nice touch…”

Kates face fell into her hands, “I didn’t even think about it! I swear you probably just think I’m some spoiled rich girl at this point just throwing my money around willy nilly.”

“I don’t think that,” he assured her, quietly as the lecture began to start, “you’re just overly generous. Kind of part of the whole superhero job you know?”

She only shot him a thankful but embarrassed smile before they turned their attention to Dr. Connors.

Despite Kates words, he still felt the gnaw of anticipation in his chest as the class went on. He found himself running through all the worst things the older woman could say to him when the class was over, one by one. It wasn’t pleasant but it made the time go by faster.

Finally it came to a close and the pair made their way to the front of the class, where Connors remained, packing up her stuff.

“Hey…” he spoke up once they were close, causing her to look up with a majorly unimpressed expression.

“Mr. Parker, Ms. Bishop. Nice of you to show up today, hope I didn’t bore you.”

Peter winced, “Yeah… listen I-we just wanted to apologize for that. Something came up and—“

“He kind of got caught up in my superhero crap…” Kate added guiltily, “again. Please don’t be mad at him!”

Connor took off her glasses and rubbed her forehead with a sigh, “Listen guys, I get it. This stuff is important, but Peter if I’m going to trust you to help with my work, I need to know I can rely on you.”

That stung, and his phone going off in his pocket didn’t help the situation. He silenced it with a click, “I totally understand that Dr. Connors, really! I promise this won’t be a regular occurrence.”

“Are you sure?” Connors pushed, glancing at his jeans as they began vibrating again. He silenced it once more with an apologetic look, “Mr. Parker, to be perfectly honest, I’m worried about your priorities. You say you were occupied with ‘superhero crap’ but how do I know that’s the full truth? You two are clearly… involved… in some way shape or form.”

Kate crossed her arms, “Hey that’s… true, but I would never distract him from what’s important! Listen professor, I know we messed up—“

“Kate.” Peter tried to warn.

She didn’t mind it, “—but it’s not fair to punish him for just that! Peter is going to do great things one day, and if you turn him down now you’re going to regret it one day, I guarantee it! Peter would you please answer that phone!?”

The offending object was going off again, and Peter had clicked it off right as Kate had addressed him, “What? Why? We’re in the middle of something I can’t be rude…”

Before Kate could argue further, the monitor of Connors computer suddenly flickered on of its own volition, revealing a familiar face. “Did you silence me!?”

Connors yelped at the voice behind her, jumping around to see Princess Shuri on her computer screen.

Peter looked at Kate in disbelief, “This is why you were so sure?”

She shrugged, “She’s a good reference!”

“She can also hear you!” The princess huffed before directing her attention to the professor, “Dr. Connors I presume?”

“P-Princess Shuri? I-It’s an honor to meet you but why—“

“Ah yes, sorry about the hack but someone,” she looked at Peter pointedly, “Refused to answer the phone.”

“Am I crazy? It’s rude to answer phones when you’re talking to someone right?”

Shuri just rolled her eyes at him before looking back at Catherine, “I’ve read up on your work Doctor. You’re contributions to the Stark Industries Medical Department are nothing to be sneezed at, yet you never seemed to seek the recognition.”

The professor was properly flustered then, “Ah well, thank you. I always kept my sights on progress, and when you work for Tony Stark…”

Shuri snickered, “I had a few encounters with him, I understand. He was a hero to be sure but an attention seeker all the same.”

Connors began to nod, then quickly shook her head, “Sorry- what is happening right now.”

The background behind Shuri bounced as she appeared to walk through the palace, “I was just calling to apologize for Peter and Kates absence yesterday, on behalf of Wakanda. There was an unfortunate mix up that led to us slightly kidnapping them but everything has been resolved.”

“How do you slightly kidnap someone?” Kate muttered, Peter only shrugged in response.

“Wait, you’re saying they were in Wakanda? That’s why they didn’t show up?”

“I am. I do hope our inconveniencing them won’t affect your opinion on them. I understand you’re considering Peter for an internship. We got to talking a bit before they left and he really is quite smart.”

Peter shifted uncomfortably as Connors nodded slowly, “Yes I noticed that too.”

Shuri entered a new room and the background was filled with hushed voices, “And if you don’t believe me, you can hear it from my brother, he’s far less likely to lie, mostly cause he’s a dork but you know.” The screen turned and Connors gasped as King T’Challa appeared, talking with his council.

“Shuri how many times have I—“

“This is the thing for Peter!”

“Ah, right…” he inspected the screen, “Hello there! You are Kate and Peters teacher yes?“

“Y-yes you’re majesty!”

“On behalf of myself and Wakanda I ask that you excuse their absence, it was completely our fault and I deeply apologize.”

“Of course! Consider it excused!”

“Thank you, now I’m afraid I must attend to important business. Good day.”

The camera turned back to Shuri, “Now about that internship…”

“I-I was never going to deny him the internship! He misses one day! I just thought a lesson in responsibility was in order but I see I was mistaken.”

Shuri flashed a megawatt smile, “Brilliant. I suppose I should unhack your computer then,” she nodded at Peter, “I’ll text you later!”

“I actually don’t remember giving you my number…”

“Don’t think too hard on it! And don’t put me on silent again got it!”

“Loud and clear.”

The screen flickered back to its Home Screen, and the classroom fell into stunned silence.

“… I suppose an apology is in order—“

“There’s really no need!” Peter insisted, “I mean we didn’t even tell you what happened, personally I didn’t think you’d believe me cause who would right?”

“Right…”

Kate cleared her throat, “So the internship is on then?”

Connors shook herself back to reality, “Oh! Yeah-yes of course. I cleared it with my employer. You will have to sign several NDAs and such but after that we should be good.” She reached into her purse and pulled out a card to hand to Peter, “Here’s the address and a number to reach me on if you have trouble finding it. I’ll expect to see you starting Monday morning, if your schedule will allow it.”

Peter took the card like he was being offered the holy grail, “I can make it work, thank you so much Dr. Connors, I promise you won’t regret this!”

“I hope so. Any other royalty you’re suddenly friends with? Just to give me a heads up?”

“Not that I know of…”

She seemed to let out a massive breath of exasperation, “Mr. Parker something tells me you’re going to be a headache and a half, but I’m excited to start working with you. I’ll see you next class alright?”

They took that as the cue and made their way out the door, You got it. Thanks again!”

Peter eyed Kate as they exited the campus.

“What?”

“You couldn’t have warned me?”

“Of course I could have, but Shuri and I both agreed it would be funnier to do it that way.”

“When was this?”

Kate simply held up her phone, “We’ve been texting all day.”

A pang of jealousy hit him. “But you were texting me all day…”

“Oh don’t pout!” She teased as she grabbed his hand, which after their numerous make-out sessions probably shouldn’t have been a big deal, but still sent a tingle up his arm, “I’m a multitasker. You’ll have to be too if you want to juggle several women, speaking of which, congrats!” She held out a fist which he uncertainly bumped.

“What for?”

“Dude you just got the hot professors phone number!”

He blinked, “And you’re fist bumping that because…”

She shrugged, “I don’t know, mostly for be funny. Obviously this isn’t an open relationship, but if you and Yelena were into it…”

Peter couldn’t help but let out a snort, “What, Yelena and I aren’t enough for you?”

“You totally are! I was just—“

“You rich girls are so greedy.”

It was her turn to pout then, “I was just talking jeez.”

He pulled her close and wrapped an arm around her with a laugh, “I’m not upset or anything relax. I wouldn’t get your hopes up though, she’s definitely hot, and smart, and hot… but she said it herself, she’s married to her work. I doubt she’d ever be interested in her barely legal intern.”

“Have you like, never read a smutty romance novel?”

“Uh no?”

She smirked and wrapped her arm around his torso as well, “Stick with me grasshopper, you have much to learn.”

“Should I be scared?”

“Definitely.”

Chapter Text

As the rest of the week passed, Peter found himself marveling at the turnaround his life had taken. The months before he felt like he was running on fumes. Recent days had him actually feeling alive again.

That’s not to say that all the pain was wiped away. The ache still lingered, but instead of just simmering in it all the time, he found himself just giving it its due before moving on with the rest of his day.

It helped that whenever those moments came, they were usually interrupted by a text from Kate, or even Shuri. True to her word the Princess had been in regular contact with him since helping with Connors.

He hadn’t really known what to expect from the genius scientist/princess, but daily memes definitely wasn’t it. She also occasion asked his input on science, but he had a feeling it was more to humor him than anything else.

Peter: hey Shuri

Dr. Whoodlum: yes?

Peter: couple questions

Peter: starting with how you changed your name in my phone

Dr. Whoodlum: you don’t like it?

Peter: I mean

Peter: it’s hilarious

Peter: might get me canceled if someone sees it but you know

Peter: I’m more talking about the hacking part

Dr. Whoodlum: seems pretty self explanatory

Peter: but why tho? Exactly how far into my privacy have you reached?

Dr. Whoodlum: far enough to know what kind of porn you watch

Peter: I don’t watch porn!!!

Dr. Whoodlum: yeah I know

Dr. Whoodlum: it’s freaky

Peter: why is that freaky? That’s the opposite of freaky!

Dr. Whoodlum: na

Dr: Whoodlum: everyone watches porn man

Dr. Whoodlum: the fact that you don’t is suspicious.

Peter: more suspicious than you hacking into my search history???

Dr. Whoodlum: ye

Peter thought back to his trip to Washington with Happy, and the sheer mortification when he learned that the man knew about the film he had ordered, the one time he had gathered the nerve to try something of that nature. Maybe it was that trauma or maybe he had just been just too busy, exhausted or depressed all the time to indulge himself but he hadn’t been able to venture farther than his own imagination since.

Peter: whatever

Peter: the OTHER question was about all the memes

Peter: as much as I enjoy them they’re pretty…

Dr. Whoodlum: dank?

Peter: numerous

Peter: are you good?

Dr. Whoodlum: yeah I’m good

Dr. Whoodlum: I’m just bored, stuck in this stuffy palace all the time.

Peter: not many friends in Wakanda?

Dr. Whoodlum: kinda hard when you can’t leave the palace without an armed guard

Dr. Whoodlum: plus everyone knows me so it’s hard to tell what they’re intentions are

Peter: I can understand that

Dr. Whoodlum: ???

Peter: I kinda became world famous before the spell remember?

Peter: gained a lot of new ‘friends’ at school

Dr. Whoodlum: Ah right I suppose you would know

Peter: maybe we can arrange to hang out in person sometime? Either you come here or we go there

Peter: it might be nice to visit Wakanda recreationally rather than under duress

Dr. Whoodlum: yeah most of our visitors arrive under duress or cause it

Dr. Whoodlum: it’s a problem

Shuri seemed pretty open to the idea, though they didn’t set a date or anything. It likely wouldn’t be possible for a long while. Peter felt a pang of sympathy for her, their situations were twenty different kinds of different, but at least he’d had the opportunity to make friends in the first place.

He tried not to dwell on it however, instead enjoying the new patrol arrangement. Now that Yelena had super agility, she had handed Kate the keys to her bike so that they could all patrol together much faster, with Kate on the ground, Yelena bounding over the rooftops, and Peter swinging through the air.

Truth be told he was still slowing down a bit for them, but he couldn’t find it in himself to feel guilty about it. Everything was so much easier with them helping him. He was already getting shot way less which was always a plus. It was way less stressful when one person focused on the victims while the other two held off the bad guys, Teamwork really did make the dream work.

He wasn’t the only one having fun either. Kate had a way of taking joy in nearly everything she did, but Yelena was throwing herself into the work with an enthusiasm he hasn’t expected of her. Sometimes it felt like she was more motivated than he was. She was also significantly rougher. However, nobody got too badly hurt and they were all bad guys so he decided not to make a big fuss over it.

They had just finished up a particularly feisty group of muggers when Peter noticed the blonde examining herself in a nearby window with an unsatisfied expression.

“You okay?” He called out while gift wrapping the groaning criminals, “You didn’t get hurt did you?”

“Doesn’t the amulet heal her fast?” Kate asked, as she walked around retrieving what arrows she could.

“Do you think I should wear i mask?” Yelena finally said, confusing both of them at once.

“Uhhh, if you want?” Peter shrugged, “Are you worried about your identity?”

“No I’m worried about branding.”

Peter was gonna question further bit Kaye cut him off, “Ohhh that’s valid! Wait so just to clarify, are you going by Black Widow, White Tiger or—oh! You could be White Widow!”

Yelena thought about it before nodding, “I think White Tiger is most appropriate at this point. Perhaps I should make a kitty mask like the Black Panther has?”

Kate seemed conflicted, “Okay on one hand that would be adorable, but on the other your gorgeous hair is one of your best features and covering it up would be a crime in of itself.

“Hmm, yes I see your point.”

“Is it really that big a deal?” Peter asked, causing them both to shoot him a look.

“Look who’s talking Red and Blue!”

“I mean that was mostly Tony’s doing, I would have fought crime in orange and beige if it’s what I had on hand…”

“And now?” Yelena gestured.

“…Well now it’s a classic! I can’t change it now!”

She snapped her fingers, “Exactly! That is what I need! Something classic and memorable. And a mask! Maybe just to cover my upper face?

“If you’re getting a mask maybe I should too…” Kate wondered, “I don’t want to be the only maskless one.”

“I’m very sorry Kate Bishop but you are not allowed to wear a mask.”

“Why?!”

“I think I’m gonna have to agree with Yelena here,” Peter spoke up, trying to keep the snicker out of his voice, “It just wouldn’t work.”

“Why the hell wouldn’t it work?”

Her two partners looked at each other a moment, before coming to some sort of understanding and addressing her in unison, “We would miss seeing your beautiful face.”

Then something amazing happened. Kates face went from surprise, to red embarrassment, and then to Peter and Yelena’s delight, she puffed her cheeks out angrily as of to hold in her irritation.

“Holy shit,” Yelena gazed at her, “she got cuter.”

“I thought that face only existed in anime…” Peter commented in awe.

Once she saw their reaction to her anger she only got more irritated, “You guys are the worst! Is that why you keep me around? Just cause I’m a pretty face?”

“Of course not!” Peter insisted hurriedly, “you’re obviously more than that Kate, come on!”

“Yeah,” Yelena agreed, “You are also a very nice ass.”

The abruptness of the delivery was enough to break Kates composure and draw a barking laugh from her. Meanwhile Peter immediately dissolved into a sputtering mess.

Kate noticed this and pointed happily, “Ha! Friendly fire!”

“Friendly fire implies we were ever on the same side to begin with.” Yelena shrugged.

Peter looked at her in mock betrayal once he gained control of himself, “How can you turn your back on me like this?”

“All is fair in Love and Sex yes?”

“Uh I think you mean Love and War…”

“I said what I meant.”

A distant siren broke up their banter as they went back to business.

“Let’s pick this up later.”

“We can definitely help you out with the costume though,” Kate called to Yelena as she retrieved her bike, “It’ll be fun!”

Yelena took one more look at herself in the mirror before muttering, “Maybe I will add a new vest…” Then she leapt up and began climbing up the side of the building with supernatural ease, following the other two to the next crime.

The week was over soon and the weekend passed even quicker, spent almost entirely either in costume or hanging out together. Had Kate not invited him out each day Peter ought have worried he was being clingy. As it was, hanging out with them was way better than just being by himself all the time. Weird how that works.

Most of what they did consisted of going out to eat then retiring to either Kate or Yelena’s apartments to binge watch sitcoms, talk about their lives, or just whatever was on their minds.

And also make out. That was one was a collective favorite, though to Peter it was a lot like skydiving. It’s terrific fun but at the same time there’s always that big of your brain screaming that something could go wrong. Michele and him hadn’t really gone much further than making out and holding hands, as neither of them were in much of a hurry.

A constant worry was that either Kate, Yelena, or both were not as happy to take it slow as he was and that he was holding them all back in the relationship. Unfortunately he couldn’t think of a good way to bring it up without sounding like the biggest loser virgin in the world so he just let it be.

He did manage to get to second base though. It wasn’t really on purpose and he had immediately tried to apologize after, but Yelena had just snorted while Kate had cheekily applauded from the other end of the sofa, so he figured it was okay.

Eventually Monday rolled around once more, and it was finally time to start his new internship. The nerves that ran through him were not entirely unfamiliar but still unique in their own right. He had gone to space and fought alongside Tony freaking Stark, but taking his first steps towards an actual potential science career gave him goosebumps anyways.

The research lab was easy enough to find, though it was not at all what he had expected. Rather than a swanky high tech facility, the lab was set up in an unassuming warehouse near the docks. It was fenced in and had a rather sophisticated camera and security system when one looked closely enough, but for anyone passing by it could easily have been mistaken for abandoned.

The front gate had a keypad, the code to which was written on the card Connors had given him, and before long he was pushing through the door to the warehouse, and into an entirely new world.

His mind flashed back to his visits to Tony’s lab, as the sheer amounts of high tech equipment was easily on par. The interior of the building was clean, well lit, air conditioned (thank goodness), Peter wouldn’t have even realized he was in a seedy looking warehouse if he hadn’t just been outside.

“Hello?” He called out, as he hadn’t seen a single person, and didn’t think wandering around unattended was the most polite course of action.

“Who’s there?!” A startled voice responded from the other side of the massive space.

“Dr. Connors? It’s Peter Parker, I’m here for the internship…”

A few moments passed as the sound of thumping steps echoed through the lab, until the familiar face of Dr. Connors appeared around the corner. Her face however was the only familiar thing about her.

Rather than the tight bun, immaculate dress and stern visage Peter was accustomed to in class, Catherine Connors was dressed a bit more… casual than usual.

Her hair was in a loose, rather frazzled looking ponytail, which was the first shock because he couldn’t recall ever seeing a hair of hers out of place. The next shock was the slightly slouched posture she approached him with. In hindsight, she always had been balancing on heels during class, rather than comfy looking sneakers. Peter idly noted that she was still rather tall even without the extra inches

The greatest shock of all however, was her state of dress. She had her white lab coat on like always, tied over one shoulder, though now it was completely unbuttoned, revealing a rather low cut tank top with the text: “In the lab it’s chemistry. In the garage it’s a felony”.

Of course, Peter had no idea what the t shirt said, for fear of getting distracted by the woman’s rather generous bust that seemed noticeably… unrestrained. He found no solace further down either as the Doctors long legs were also on display. She was wearing what appeared to be running shorts that stopped a few inches down her thighs. His eyes fixated themselves on her face to avoid an internal meltdown.

The frankly exhausted looking woman took off her glasses and cleaned it with her shirt, either uncaring or unaware of how it tugged down on her neckline in a dangerous fashion. Once she put them back on she squinted through them as if to verify if he were really there, “Is it Monday already?”

He was pretty sure, but of course her question had him doubting himself. Hd pulled out his phone and revealed the date on it to her, “Yeah… is now a bad time?”

She didn’t appear to know how to answer, “I don’t think so I… sorry is it morning already?”

He nodded, “Have you here all night? By yourself?”

She blinked, “Well yes… I mean I’m the only one who works here.”

His brows shot up. He knew it was a sensitive project, but sensitive enough that only one person was working on it? “That sounds like a lot of work!”

She blinked a few more times, “I suppose… time does seem to get away from me.”

Peter got the distinct impression that he wasn’t going to get much more from her in her current state, “Hey, how do take your coffee?”

“Hmm? Oh, three sugars two creams.”

“Got it,” he hesitantly led her over to a nearby desk and ushered her to sit down, which she did easily. “Why don’t you rest a bit and I’ll go grab you a cup okay?”

“Rest?” She drawled, “I can’t do that, my new intern is coming tomorrow morning. I have to make sure everything’s ready….”

He suppressed a laugh, “Tell you what: you take a quick nap here, and I’ll be sure to wake you up before your intern gets here okay?”

She looked at him with wide, yet glassy eyes, “Really? You’d do that?”

How a grown woman could pull off that level of cute was a burning question in Peters kind, whether he liked it or not, “Sure! You just rest up okay? I’ll be back before you know it!”

“Okay…” even as she mumbled the reply, her head was sinking into her arms.

A quick run to the nearest coffee shop later, he returned to gently shake her, “Dr. Connors? I’m back, I got you some coffee!”

It took a bit of poking in prodding, but eventually she took the offered beverage and he took a seat near her as she sipped it down.

It took a while but eventually he saw the shift in her demeanor as lucidity returned. Eventually she turned to look at him in absolute horror.

He gave her a friendly wave, “Good morning!”

Instead of answering, the woman simply sat up and began walking away.

“Uh should I—“

“Ten minutes!” She squeaked without looking back.

He dutifully waited, and nine minutes later she returned looking much more awake, hair in order and her lab coat fully buttoned up, which he wasn’t disappointed by.

Not one bit.

“Ahem,” she smoothed down her coat once more despite it being the only thing that was never wrinkled, “Mr. Parker, I apologize for my lack of professionalism earlier.”

He tilted his head, “It looked more like exhaustion to me, if I may say so…”

She sighed, “I… yeah. I was pretty energized last night and kept putting off sleep until… well you saw. As the sole occupant of the lab I’m used to working in more… comfortable attire. I assure you it won’t happen again.

He tried not to feel too disappointed, “If you want I guess? I mean this is your workplace, and it didn’t really offend me or anything, I’d hate to kill your productivity over something like that. Also… am I going to learn what you do here?”

Connors seemed to take the lifeline for what it was and snagged it immediately, “Of course, please follow me.” She began leading him further into the lab before pausing, “Do you have the receipt for the coffee? I should reimburse you, or rather I shouldn’t have had you do it at all.”

He did but he tried to play it off anyways “You don’t have to do that really! And besides I’m an intern, getting coffee is what I’m for right?”

As he tried to laugh it off she only seemed to shrivel in shame, “Even so… I have a coffee machine here.”

“Ah.” He could see the pain in her posture so he just silently retrieved the receipt and handed it over.

“Thank you, the total will be added to your first paycheck.”

His heart skipped a beat but he dared not trust his ears, “Sorry what?”

“Your paycheck. I’ll be paying you weekly for your work.”

“But I’m an intern.” His brain screamed at him to stop arguing but he never listened to that thing anyway.

She opened her mouth to respond before seemingly changing her mind, “Why don’t I show you what we’ll be doing.”

He was led deep into the facility, until they came across a doorway with a retina scanner lock on it. Connors lifted her glasses up to let it scan her before holding the door open for Peter to enter.

Inside was a much more personal looking space, with a couch, a simple computer desk and several heavy duty monitors and safes.

“This is where all my data and research material goes when I’m not here.” She explained, taking a seat at the computer and gesturing for him to sit at the couch opposite of her.

Once they were both situated she got straight to business, offering him several documents ensuring his silence on whatever he was about to learn. He filled them all out obediently, keeping in mind that while Peter Parker was now legally bound, Spider-Man was still free to intervene in the case of anything mutant lizard related.

“Perfect,” she smiled once he was finished, “Now tell me Peter, what do you know about the Extremis Formula.

Several things, information only someone who’d had long conversations with Tony Stark himself should know, came to mind, “Wasn’t that the stuff that was blowing people up? And the Mandarin was created to try and cover it up?”

She nodded, “Yes but it’s much more than that.” She pulled up an overview of the formula on her monitor, pointing as she explained, “The formula was originally designed as biological hacking device, so to speak. It interacts with the human body’s DNA, and redirects it. As it is now, it’s prime imperative is to facilitate cellular regeneration, healing, and overall improvement of the users physical status.”

“Basically a super soldier serum.” Peter commented. Tony had griped about that fight so many times.

“Essentially, if Steve Rogers could breath fire and completely regenerate missing limbs.”

Ah, there it was. He knew it was coming, he’d prepared in the mirror for it, but idiot that he was, he still couldn’t resist a quick glance at Connors missing appendage.

Apparently she had been expecting it as well, “You see my personal motivation for the project.”

“Hold on a second, are you saying that you have the formula? Here? In the lab.”

“Indeed.”

And she hadn’t used it on herself? Apparently the question was written all over him because she answered it right away, “I have no interest in becoming a walking fire hazard, that brings me to the task assigned to me by my employer: Virginia Potts.”

“Pepper Potts is funding this?!” He exclaimed, genuinely shocked this time. Connors responded by pulling up a video of Pepper sitting meditation style, drawing deep breaths as orange glowing heat collected in her hands.

“While it is as of yet unknown to the public, after being used as an unwilling test subject for the formula, Tony Stark was able to stabilize it, but not remove it. Mrs. Potts has simply kept her status under wraps because, quite frankly, superpowers tend to attract unwanted attention, and her late husband had already attracted enough, May he Rest In Peace .”

He nodded numbly, “So it’s stable, no risk of explosions, and Mrs. Potts hired you to…”

“Take it a step further.” The older scientist leaned forward as a hint if her own excitement burst forth, “Peter the applications of this sort of biotechnology are practically infinite. Imagine, being able to direct the human body on a cellular level to do whatever you need. It could—can fix disabilities, cure diseases, prolong the human lifespan—“ she took a quick breath to reign herself back in, “This could be the cure for cancer Peter. The Panacea, a literal cure-all!”

“But, with the addition of super powers with every dose.” Peter finished, quickly putting the pieces together.

“Exactly. My… our objective for now is to alter the formula so as to remove the more destructive side effects. As it is, it does it’s job far too well with the subtlety of freight train. Our current goal is a working version of the formula that can accomplish the miraculous healing, without the addition of super-strength and bio thermal manipulation.”

“I imagine the government wouldn’t be to happy with over-the-counter superpowers,” Peter quipped.”

She leaned back with a tired expression, “To he honest, I don’t imagine they’d be fond of our idealized product either. Or any pharmaceutical company for that matter. If we succeed, it could mean the end of the modern healthcare system as we know it. Companies will lose billions of dollars, and millions more will be out of a job.”

That was heavy, however Peter thought about Aunt May, all those times she came home from the hospital looking haggard and full of horror stories, “But it could potentially save and improve the lives of all of humanity.”

She smiled thinly, “I’m glad you see it that way too. I’m not going to lie to you Peter, this is a dangerous endeavor, both because of the nature of the work, and because of what may potentially happen should our work reach the public before it’s ready. Hell, even if we do get it working, we’ll likely be hated anyways by some very powerful people, the kind that can destroy your life with just a word. Pepper and I have known each other a long time, she knows me and that I accept the risks, but Peter…” she seemed to steady herself as if afraid if his reaction as she said, “There is no shame, none at all, in walking out right now and not looking back. This is an opportunity that can potentially take you a great many places, and not all of them are good.”

The same could be said for dressing up and swinging around all night fighting crime, “I appreciate the consideration Dr. Connors,” he smiled, “But if we let stuff like that scare us then humanity will never move forward the way we’re meant to. If you’ll accept me, I would be honored to help you with this in any way I can.” And keep an eye to make sure you don’t mutate yourself, but no lizard DNA sighted so far. Hooray.

The doctor gave him the warmest smile he had ever seen on her, “Alright then. Welcome aboard.”

He couldn’t help a huge grin spread across his face in anticipation for the future, “So where do we start?”

She opened her mouth, closed it, then smiled sheepishly, “Could you actually get a pot of coffee started? I want to give you a tour but I can already feel that first cup wearing off…”

“Right. Intern. Got it. Where the machine?”

Chapter Text

Before he knew it, several weeks had gone by, and Peter could admit his own happiness to himself with only a small amount of guilt.

It was pretty hard not to be. Nearly every aspect of his life was going smoothly, albeit in ways he didn’t anticipate.

Working with Dr. Connors was both familiar and brand new. The only place he felt more at home than swinging over the skyline was hunkered over test tubes after all, but the experience was vastly different from his secret lab experiments in high school, or even his experiences in Tony’s lab.

Doing science with Tony Stark had been one of the high points of his life, but also one of the most nerve wracking. Tony may have been his superhero mentor, but teaching definitely wasn’t his strong suit. The man spent half the time monologuing about his work, with Peter scrambling to decipher every word as he talked. Sometimes he’d completely miss what the man was talking about, and had to look it up afterwards because there was no way he could admit his ignorance to Tony Stark!

Granted, he ended up learning more information in that short amount of time than he ever had before in his life, but it wrought absolute havoc on his mental health.

Working with Dr. Connors was a much less nerve wracking experience. During the first few days, the majority of what he did was provide an set of extra hands while he shadowed her and learned everything he could about her process and the intricacies therein. And boy was it intricate.

The Extremis formula was designed to infiltrate and assume command of the human body. In its current form, the commands it performed with the body were far too vague. It needed the body to be always be at ‘peak performance’, so it increased muscle density to the absolute maximum, then proceeded to disable the basic subconscious mechanism that prevents humans from exerting too much force that they hurt themselves. Any damage done to muscle fiber is immediately healed anyway so it’s no problem, however the result is explosive strength that can easily result in the injury of others, accidental or otherwise.

The healing facet is just pure laziness in Peters opinion. The body knows what it’s supposed to look like when it’s healthy, it’s encoded in the DNA, so the Formula finds that and brute-forces its way into maintaining the ideal. That’s why it generates so much heat. Rather than actually working with the body’s own natural healing process, it simply hijacks all the cells in the vicinity of the wound and forces them to begin reproducing at incredible rates, turning the body into a living reactor, and all that excess energy has to be expelled somehow. The ability to control the heat was about the only thing Peter saw that was done to improve the situation. It made sense, AIM had gone looking for a miracle cure and stumbled onto a super soldier serum, something every country was drooling for since the Second World War.

To modify the formula to a far less dangerous state, they would have to recode it from the ground up. The term ‘code’ wasn’t precisely accurate, but it was the closest one could get when describing the painstaking process of chemical manipulation that went into changing the commands. Peter was basically having to learn an entirely new ‘coding language’ that translated to the formula’s chemical and molecular makeup.

All of that is to say: it was slow going. In all the time he’d spent there so far, it had all been spent just ‘coding’ the newest test sample. The hope for when it was finished would be a fifty percent decrease in heat generation, as well as to prove that it could be modified at all. Apparently previous tests had been… discouraging to say the least.

Peter could imagine anyone getting frustrated with the snails pace, but compared to the high speeds every other aspect of his life was moving at, he found it perfectly comforting. As far as he could tell, Connors also seemed content to take it slow and do things properly, but her regular overnight workathons betrayed the fact that she was itching to see her work completed. He couldn’t blame her.

To be fair however, his patience was greatly helped by the size of the first paycheck he received. It was more than double what he received on a bi weekly basis from the delivery job, so it was with great consideration and incessant prodding from Kate, Yelena and Shuri that he quit it. Actually it was mostly Shuri, as she kept text spamming him and somehow turning his phone back on remotely whenever he turned it off.

That left him with a lot more free time during the day, some of which he spent with Kate and Yelena, though often he found himself using it to get some more solo Spidey time in. At first he was worried they might get upset that he didn’t invite them along, but when he brought it up Kate just smiled and assured him that everyone needed time to themselves every now and then.

One day, he returned from one of those outings to one of the most memorable moments of his adult life.

He climbed through the window to Kates apartment with a knock, “Guys! I’m back! I was thinking maybe we should try an episode of—“

“Shhhhhh!”

He shit his mouth quickly at the harsh noise, looking around before spotting Kates head poking above the couch, staring at him with wide eyes.

In an instant he was on alert, “What’s going on? Is someone—“

“SHHHH dude!” She whisper yelled at him before twisting her head back to gesture him over. He kept his mouth shut this time, quickly slipping out of his suit and into shorts and shirt before making his way down to her to see what the big deal was.

Turned out it was the biggest deal. Kate was sitting stock still on the couch, unwilling to move an inch as she had a certain blonde haired firmer assassin curled up next to her with her head rested comfortably in her lap. Kates hands rested on her shoulder and head, petting her lovingly.

Peter nearly went slack-jawed, before whispering, “is she asleep?”

Kate nodded excitedly, “I’m pretty sure, she’s been there for an hour!”

“Have you ever seen her asleep before?”

“No!”

They both stared down at Yelena in awe. During the many times they had hung out together, one or both of them had nodded off on the couch more times than they cared to remember. They lived busy lives after all. Yelena on the other hand never let her eyes close more than halfway before startling herself back to full awareness. Kate and Peter had had debates on whether it was a lack of trust, an anxiety thing, or both. They decided it was probably both.

That was why the moment was so special, at least in their minds. Never before had Yelena allowed herself to be this vulnerable before either of them.

As if sensing their attention, she shifted in Kates lap, letting out a kind of deep groan that put stars in their eyes.

“She’s purring!” They whispered to each other, barely containing their excitement.

“Peter you have to take a picture.”

He blinked, “Uh, are you sure about that? I don’t know how she‘ll feel…”

“Come oooon! This may never happen again! She may grouch a bit at first but it’s not that big a deal, and if it is we’ll just delete it. No harm done!”

Something in his gut told him it was a bad idea, but Kate was doing her little pout thing that he couldn’t resist to save his life, so he took his phone out and turned on the camera.

Just as he was about to click it Yelena, not even opening her eyes, drawled out in deadpan, “Think carefully what consequences you are prepared to pay Peter Parker.”

The younger two froze. Peter looked at Yelena, then at Kate. Kate looked at Yelena, then at Peter. They locked eyes, and a silent conversation passed between them.

Peter nodded solemnly, and Kate reared up as she pressed two fingers to her lips and held it out to him.

The camera flashed.

Yelena was up in an instant, and with a very manly yelp Peter leapt up to the ceiling out of her reach. She simply glared up at him before turning and stalking off towards her purse in the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” He asked in confusion.

She answered by pulling out the White Tiger amulet and throwing it over her neck. “Now get down before I come up.”

He squeaked in fear as Kate appeared in front of her, “Woah Woah Woah! Calm down, it was just a picture. It was my idea anyways, we can just delete it if it bothers you.”

Yelena crossed her arms and huffed, “Fine.”

Cautiously, Peter allowed himself to drop to the floor, alighting without a sound so as not to disturb the neighbors, “Could you take the amulet off?”

Rolling her eyes, she did as he asked and placed it back in her purse. “I was not going to hurt you that much. Is no fair to use your powers like that and not expect me to do same.”

Peter shrugged before looking down at the picture he had taken, “Are you sure I have to delete it though? It turned out great!”

“Yeah and by the way,” Kate added, sneakily changing the subject, “How long were you awake for? Or were you ever asleep to begin with?”

Yelena shrugged, “I wake up when Peter announced himself.”

“Why didn’t you move or say anything then?”

“You’re lap is very comfortable Kate Bishop.”

Peter frowned curiously, “How comfortable are we talking?”

“Like a warm fluffy cloud…”

“Alright!” Kate snapped, though the uncontrollable smirk took all the heat out of it. “Now what show are we watching?”

“Nice try. Phone. Picture. Delete.”

Kate pouted before looking at Peter, “Can I see it first?”

He gladly handed it over, and she gasped as she saw the peaceful scene portrayed, even if it was technically false now, “Oh come on we can’t get rid of this! Look at it!”

Yelena raised an eyebrow, “Why look at it? I was there.”

“That’s not— Yelena we need pictures to remember these things!” Her smirk turned slightly sinister, “Isn’t there anyway I could… convince you?”

Yelena narrowed her eyes, “What did you have in mind?”

Kate looked between her and Peter, and they both saw a devious machination begin to form.

It worried Peter, as it always did, and it worried him even more when she approached Yelena and whispered something in her ear that caused a look of genuine surprise, followed by darting eyes and flushed cheeks.

“That is… acceptable, if he can pull it off.”

“Pull what off?” Peter asked nervously.

Kate practically bounced up to him before taking his hands in hers, “Peter.”

“Kate…”

“We’ve noticed you’ve been… hesitant when it comes to more intimate stuff.”

He tensed, “intimate—“

“Sex.” Yelena clarified.

Peters guts began to wrestle as dread set in, “Right… of course. Shit, I knew I was holding us back.”

“Wait-“ Kate frowned.

“I’m sorry!” Peter insisted, “I thought I— it doesn’t matter I shouldn’t have overthought it so much.”

“Peter!” Kate grabbed his face to keep his attention, “No one’s upset with you, you’re not ‘holding us back’ or anything like that.”

His face squished in her hands to make his frown poutier than usual, “I’m not?”

“I am no expert, obviously,” Yelena spoke up, “But I would like to think that a good relationship isn’t dependent on sex.”

“Exactly!” Kate nodded, “it’s more like a super fun bonus! Now, I mean this in the best way, but we both kind of figured you were…inexperienced.”

He slumped, “That obvious?”

“You are very funny when you are embarrassed,” Yelena commented, “I will miss it when it’s gone.”

That was an ominous and deeply arousing statement. Kate wasn’t finished however, “We sorta agreed to wait and let you make the first moves, seeing as you’re still new to this. And we can still wait longer if you’re not comfortable!”

“Is not the end of the world,” Yelena shrugged.”

“I just want things to go as smoothly as possible and not rush anyone into anything. If you’re not interested—“

“I am!” Peter interrupted, perhaps a little too quickly, “Sorry… uh, I am interested. It’s just… god I sound like a loser but I don’t think I can be the one to initiate those things right now. I want to! I’ve thought about… that… a lot! But every time I think about bringing it up my mind just keeps telling me all the ways it could go wrong, like maybe you won’t be into it and I make you uncomfortable, or maybe you aren’t into it but you feel pressured by me and do it anyways and then resentment festers for years on end or maybe—“ Kate pulled him into a kiss before he could keep digging his hole.

She kept him there for a solid thirty seconds, perhaps attempting to suck out all the insecurities he had. It almost worked, as he had forgotten most of them when she finally pulled away, “Relax.”

“Oh-okay”

“I am perfectly fine taking initiative, I’m pretty sure Yelena is too,” she got a nod of confirmation, “And I’m sorry we hoisted the responsibility on you without telling you.”

“Well I wouldn’t go that far.”

“I know you wouldn’t,” Kate giggled.

“Tell him the terms.” Yelena suggested as she walked back over to the couch, settling down and getting comfortable.

“Terms?”

“Yeah…” Kate grinned mischievously, I had this idea for a fun little game we could play to help ease you into the whole thing. Basically, Yelena agreed to let us keep the photo in exchange for at least two orgasms.”

Peter choked on air, “I-I see.”

“She agreed as long as one of then comes from you.”

Peter felt a bit lightheaded, “So no pressure then…”

“Oh no there’s pressure,” Kate held up the photo, “I’ll be devastated if I can’t have this Peter. But don’t worry, you have me. Not to brag but this isn’t my first vagina, I’ll be there to coach you through it. That is… if you’re up for it.”

Peter was definitely up for it, in every sense of the word, “If I suck at this promise not to laugh?”

Kate put a hand in his shoulder, “Peter, I wouldn’t worry. Everyone sucks at first. Besides this isn’t really that big of a deal anyways, we’re just having fun.”

“Oh god…” his head went in his hands as the situation hit him all at once.

“Peter, remember.” She showed him the picture again, “This is the goal. You wanna save this pretty kitty picture right?”

He took a deep breath, unable to prevent a smile at her wording, “Yes.”

“Good. All you gotta to do to save the pretty kitty,” she turned him by the shoulders to look where Yelena waited patiently, idly scrolling through her phone with her legs crossed, “is to pet her pretty kitty.”

He snorted despite his nerves, “That was so lame.”

“Do you want my help or not?”

“Right sorry. What’s the plan coach?”

Several minutes of deliberation later had Yelena sighing impatiently on the couch, right before Peter finally came over to sit next to her. “*Ahem* Uh, hey.”

She snorted, “Hello again Peter Parker. Did you need something?”

“W-well not need but—“

“She’s trying to throw you off! Don’t fall for it!”

Both looked back to see Kate leaning on the back of the couch watching them intently. “Is that not cheating Kate Bishop?”

Kate scoffed, “We never set any rules! Besides he needs all the the help he can get!”

“Hey!”

“Oh you know what I mean. Initiate phase one!”

Yelena turned back at Peter with an expectant look, so despite how ridiculous he felt, he went through with it anyway.

He gingerly took one of Yelena’s hands, keeping an eye on her and seeing nothing but amused interest. He pressed a kiss to the back of her hand, before placing one on each of her knuckles, gently manipulating her hand to feather each of her fingertips as well, all the while keeping eye contact.

“Interesting tactic.” Yelena commented, obviously having no plans to make it easy for him.

Before he could pull away and apologize however, Kate snorted, “She’s bluffing Peter, the back of her neck his red, keep it up.”

He looked at Yelena questioningly, but she only huffed and looked away in irritation, which was in of itself an answer.

Feeling a bit more confident, Peter moved his way up her arm, slowly peppering kisses all the way, until he found herself at her neck which, conveniently, was wide open for him.

It wasn’t the first time he had given either of them a hickey, but it was the first time he did so with the intent of more to come, so he felt compelled to put more gumption into it than usual.

As he pressed himself against her, his efforts were rewarded, as a soft moan just barely escaped from her. Yelena was never one for unnecessary theatrics, so he couldn’t help but glance at Kate behind them with wide eyes. She grinned back with a thumbs up, apparently just as psyched as he was. She then held up two fingers to indicate the second phase.

He nodded and pulled back before gently turning Yelena’s back towards him with one finger. She acquiesced with a put-upon expression, but it melted away when he tried for a charming grin, “Hey.”

To his utter fascination, if seemed to do the trick, as Yelena flushed at him with half lidded eyes, “Hello…”

His left hand, which had been resting comfortably on her toned stomach, massaging it every now and then, began to trail down slowly, “May I?”

She gazed at him a bit before sighing, “You may. Just… never mind.”

He blinked, “Just what?”

“Is not a big deal.”

He glanced back at Kate, who shrugged helplessly. “Hey I’m pretty sure if it has to do with… well this, it’s a pretty big deal. Would you tell me what’s on your mind? Please?”

She seemed reluctant, but he added a bit of desperation to his eyes and she cracked soon after, “Damn you, using big puppy eyes right now.”

He grinned unapologetically, “Not like I can change them. What’s up?”

“I… I would prefer it if we refrained from… penetration.”

His mind stuttered a bit, as the phrasing brought a different scenario to mind first, “Oh you mean fingers—“

“Actually,” she looked almost afraid to finish her sentence, but he waited patiently until she did, “I’d rather not have any kind. At least for the time being.”

“Oh,” he felt a touch of disappointment despite his best effort, but didn’t dare let it show, “Oh well that’s fine.”

She didn’t seem convinced, “Really?”

“Hey,” Kate chimes in between them, “It’s your body babe, any restrictions you want to put on it is fine.”

“Is it just a preference or…” Peter swallowed nervously, “is there a reason?”

“There is a reason.” She confirmed, “however I don’t…”

“Hey, no problem.” He smiled quickly, “If you’re not comfortable sharing I won’t push.”

Yelena seemed to eye them with slight suspicion, “You are taking this better than I imagined.”

Both of them frowned as they looked at her, before remembering the fact that she had previously been a brainwashed took with no say or control over her own body.

“Well there are just so many other ways to have fun,” Kate finally broke the silence.

“Yeah and speaking of,” he cleared his throat, “do you want to continue or—“

“Surely you would not leave me in this state unsatisfied.”

He flushed but nodded and moved his hand down, slowly sliding it under the hem of her pants.

He was quietly ecstatic when his hand moved over her panties and found them already damp, “Did I do this?”

“Well technically I did that but you definitely were the cause.”

“Huh.” His hand began by lightly stroking up and down over her covered sex, remembering Kates advice not to jump the gun too early.

The blonde rested her head back in the couch, eyes closed in a contented expression that just encouraged Peter even more than Kate behind them.

“Remember: consistency is key! Smooth motions!”

Peter chuckled at her, “You know I think I can take it from here actually.” Kate pouted and hopped over the couch to sit on the other side of Yelena, “Are you sure? I was kind of into being the behind the scenes director. A pussy conductor, if you will.”

“He will not.” Yelena ground out with false irritation, before cracking her eye open to look at Peter, “Faster.”

Peter did as instructed, running too fingers up and down over where hd could feel her excitement, while Kate watched with great interest, biting her bottom lip cutely. He had been apprehensive that her audience would freak him out at first, or Yelena, but instead it seemed to add a new layer of hotness to the whole situation.

A moan was pulled from Yelena once more, and he took it as a sign to finally slip his fingers under her undergarments, keeping an eye in her expression as he did so. It didn’t waver from peaceful pleasure so he kept going.

He had heard the whispers in high school, seen plenty of memes on how the clit was a mysterious entity, overly shy and unable to be found by men.

He decided they were either exaggerating, or his enhanced senses and basic knowledge from Sex Ed was coming in clutch, as he felt the swollen nub within a single smooth slide over her slit.

He began his ministrations anew, moving his fingers in swirling motions, using a mixture of Kates earlier tips and his own improvisation as he watched Yelena’s micro-expressions.

It was probably wrong, but he felt a new kind of thrill at the sense of power he felt over her, pressing her buttons until he got the exact sound he was looking for. He had been straining in his own pants for a while at that point, but when she moaned out, “Harder…” he pulsed with a new level of arousal and eagerly worked to please her.

It went on like that for a while, which might have worried him if Kate hadn’t assured him that the first time especially can take awhile as a couple learned each other. He was so caught up in it he nearly missed the fact that Kate, watching with a heated expression, had quietly sneaked a hand down her own pants, the fabric moving furiously as she enjoyed herself. They locked eyes, and Kate gave him her most sinful smile yet. He nearly lost his concentration until a new more high pitched moan from Yelena snapped him back to it.

As much as he liked the noise, he decided to cut it off as he sneaked a hand behind her head and pulled her into a kiss, which she reciprocated easily, though not with the usual dominant fervor he was used to.

By the end, Yelena’s hips were twisting as they moved on their own volition to meet his hand, before finally, she pulled away from his lips with a gasp, and a shiver ran through her whole body as it pressed against him. Her head fell back as she paired with clenched eyes.

His eyes widened at the reaction, and as she caught her breath, he hesitantly spoke up, “Was that…”

“One down.” Yelena murmured before fixing him with a hot gaze, “Very well done Peter Parker.”

He resisted the urge to whoop with joy at the sense of accomplishment that rushed through him. Was it stronger than when he saved a human life? Maybe, maybe not, that was for him to know and never utter to another living soul.

“Okay that’s got to be the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.” Kate spoke up, her hand out if her pants with a noticeable sheen to it, “My turn!”

In a smooth motion, she had swung herself up onto Yelena’s lap, looking down at her hungrily, Peter tried to shift over to give them more room, but Kates hand shot out to grab him by the front of his pants, “Where are you going? You look like you’re about to hurt yourself in there!”

He reddened once more, cursing the fact silently. “What about—“

“I have two hands.” She declared with easy confidence.

“You’re cockiness is showing Kate Bishop,” Yelena challenged, “You think you can handle both of us at once?”

Kate tilted her chin up with a smirk, “It’s only cockiness if I don’t pull it off! Hehe, get it?” She glanced at Peter, “pull it off?”

He looked at her in wonder, “Were you always like this?”

“Yeah all the horny is just broiling under the surface most of the time.” With a sudden motion, her hand slid down and and grabbed a hold of his length over his shorts, “Why do you think it’s so easy to make me blush?”

Finding no resistance in either of them, she began doing just as she promised, working them both simultaneously, quickly slipping her hands down both of their pants.

For his part, Peter was finding divinity at finally having a hand on him other than his own. Her more experienced hand had him struggling to hold himself back far faster than he’d ever admit. Thank goodness for spider stamina.

Yelena on the other hand was getting a bit more special treatment. As Kate worked her below, she had her lips pressed against her ear, whispering honeyed constantly, which seemed to take Yelena far more off guard than anything else. With his enhanced hearing Peter was able to pick most if it up, though he was far to occupied to pay attention.

“Do you like this?”

Yelena groaned fervently at whatever maneuver the younger girl had pulled in her pants, “Yes…”

“Me too. You’re so gorgeous you know that? The most beautiful girl I’ve ever met.”

Peter watched in awe as Yelena turned redder than he’d ever seen her, and her moans increased in enthusiasm, “I-I’m not—“

“Yes you are.” Kate corrected her firmly, stating it as a fact. “You’re pretty, and so are the the sounds you make when I rub your pussy. I love them so damn much… will you make more for me?”

“I-“ Yelena cried out as Kate performed what Peter could only assume was some sort of advanced Vagina Jutsu.

“Why thank you!”

Peter watched in awe as Kate easily claimed dominance over one the most domineering women he’d ever met. Then his eyes scrunched shut as her hand moved from simply stroking him to a twisting motion that rubbed her palm over his head as well.

Before he realized what was happening, he was spamming into her hand. and while he was barely aware of it, Yelena was in the exact same state as Kate brought them both to climax at the same time.

Once the haze had lifted from their minds, they both looked up at Kate in awe as she examined her hands, each covered in their respective fluids, before sticking a single finger from each in her mouth, looking contemplative over the flavors. Then she tried them both at once and let out an appreciative hum.

“You guys pair well with each other…”

Both stared with slack jaws before Peter finally spoke, “Who are you?!”

She got off of Yelena’s lap and moved to her kitchen to wash her hands, swaying her hips as she did so, knowing their eyes were on her, “I’m your girlfriend, silly! Aren’t you lucky? Now what show were we thinking? Parks and Rec?”

“Uh… what about you? Don’t you want to…”

She looked up from the sink, “Hmm? Oh! I appreciate the concern but I came three times just watching you two. I’m all good!”

Peters mouth was suddenly dry and a strange croaking sound emerged.

“Do you have any spare undergarments I can borrow?” Yelena finally spoke up, much quicker to accept the reality of the situation.

“Oh yeah just grab whatever from my drawers! Peter do you—“

“I have a few spares.” He assured her numbly, going to his bag. He always kept several in case he got soaked or sweaty during patrol. Which was most times.

As Peter and Yelena sorted themselves out, they’re eyes met once more and understanding passed between them: they would think twice before teaming up to tease Kate again.

They’d still do it of course but they’d think twice about it.

Later, they would finally convince Yelena to look at the picture of her in Kates lap, and despite her best effort, a warm smile would appear on her lips. “Is not the worst picture I suppose…”

Chapter Text

HawkBi: hey Shuri

PrettyKittyPrincess: ye waddup

HawkBi: out of curiosity

HawkBi: what’s the best way to clean blood off Vibranium arrows?

PrettyKittyPrincess: depends

PrettyKittyPrincess: is it god blood monster blood or alien blood?

PrettyKittyPrincess: cuz I KNOW

PrettyKittyPrincess: that you didn’t use my beautiful Vibranium babies on simple human muggers

HawkBi: listen

HawkBi: do you know how often aliens monsters and gods attack me?

HawkBi: Not a lot

HawkBi: which I GUESS I’m grateful for but it affords me very few opportunities to break out the fancy equipment

PrettyKittyPrincess: I could make you a monster to fight if you want

Arachnophilia: Hi friendly neighborhood Spider-Man here

Arachnophilia: what if you don’t do that

Arachnophilia: also maybe change my name back please? But mainly don’t make monsters

HawkBi: you would deny me this?

PrettyKittyPrincess: your name is perfect. You are a spider and a lover

Arachnophilia: I guess but it still sounds like I fuck spiders

Arachnophilia: also Kate it’s not that I don’t want you to have monsters to fight

Arachnophilia: I just think whatever Shuri creates will be far too powerful and wipe out all life on the plant

PrettyKittyPrincess: omg your girlfriends are right here such a flirt

Arachnophilia: wha

HawkBi: wow first I can’t have monster fight now you’re gonna cheat?

Arachnophilia: sigh

Arachnophilia: I am so sorry

Arachnophilia: that I protested your monster fight

Arachnophilia: how dare I worry about your safety and the safety of others

HawkBi: well as long as you learned your lesson

HawkBi: I guess you can cheat a lil, if it’s Shuri

Arachnophilia: ?!?

PrettyKittyPrincess: I mean thanks for the loan I guess

HawkBi: more like renting, cause you gave us cool Vibranium stuff

Arachnophilia: I am shocked and appalled

Arachnophilia: just a measly bit of Vibranium is all I’m worth?

PrettyKittyPrincess: MEASLY???

HawkBi: well I also like Shuri

HawkBi: she’s neat

PrettyKittyPrincess: awww you’re neat too qt <3

WhytheRussian: Shuri

WhytheRussian: We have Meat

PrettyKittyPrincess: congrats?

HawkBi: babe do you mean Beef?

WhytheRussian: that too

PrettyKittyPrincess: is it the flirting

PrettyKittyPrincess: cause it’s mostly joking

Arachnophilia: mostly???

HawkBi: 👀

WhytheRussian: no

WhytheRussian: your username

WhytheRussian: you must change it

HawkBi: omg

Arachnophilia: …

PrettyKittyPrincess: uhhhhh y?

WhytheRussian: Pretty Kitty is my name

HawkBi: OMG

PrettyKittyPrincess: …would you elaborate

Arachnophilia: I don’t think that’s necessary

WhytheRussian: it is the pet name given to me by Kate Bishop after our first sexual encounter

WhytheRussian: I cannot share it

PrettyPantherPrincess: say less fam

PrettyPantherPrincess: actually say more if you want sounds interesting

Peter closed the group chat with an exasperated expression, leaning back against the seat of the train car, feeling the rumble of the subway in his bones.

It wasn’t often he took public transportation, considering he could run or swing everywhere much faster, but with all the time he’s been putting into the lab and Spidey, he decided that even he needed a break every now and then to conserve his energy.

It also gave him time to read for once, something he’d missed more than he’d realized. He opened his kindle app to browse his options.

There was The Foster Theory on Space and Time Travel. It had proved to be a fascinating read so far, especially since it contained actual data from the Avengers famous time heist, which was a rare occurrence. Sharing information was usually the polite move in the scientific community but when the information could potentially enable people to abuse and endanger the time space continuum it was generally agreed upon to leave it be.

His thumb lingered over it for moment, before his attention dragged to the second option in his library: The Amorous Asgardian Masseuse.

It was one of several recommendations from Kate, who apparently hadn’t been joking when she proposed to take him under her wing into the world of smut fiction.

Her exact words were: “Peter, I love you’re innocent little heart to bits, but if you’re gonna keep up with me you’re gonna need more than superpowers. Lewd up!”

The few little stories he’d manage to get through had been… enlightening to say the least. Apparently the ones she recommended were all geared towards women, and while most in the genre were horrendously unrealistic, Kate assured him that her recommendations would be the most… applicable for him, as well as just being a good read.

He idly wondered if that was code for ‘these are the things I like’. He wouldn’t complain either way, not every girl hands the guy an instruction manual after all.

He has started AAM the previous night before bed, though he passed out after a few pages. He did remember finding it weirdly compelling however, and he itched to open it up and read more. For the plot of course.

“That’s a bold choice.”

For a moment he worried he had blown his cover as the speed at which his phone was turned off and shoved firmly into his backpack, was arguably inhuman. However the speaker, a raven haired woman sitting across from him on the train only gave him the single most unimpressed look he’d ever seen in his life. He idly wondered if she were related to Yelena in some way.

“Hmm? What uh… are you talking to me?”

The woman looked to be around Yelena’s age, though she was startling thin at first glance. She seemed to dress purely for comfort and practicality, in well loved denim jeans and a leather jacket that draped over her tiny frame loosely. Now that he was paying attention, he realized that the slight smell of booze that wafted through the train car, while not uncommon in a New York subway, seemed to be coming primarily from her.

She looked around the car, observing that no one else was close enough to them to hear her, “What you think I’m talking to myself?”

He swallowed nervously, “Uh, okay. What do you mean?”

“I mean opening up a porn book on the middle of the New York subway. Granted you wouldn’t be the first and definitely won’t be the last, but it’s still a shame to see todays youth falling to such degeneracy.”

His face reddened but he strove to keep a calm tone, “I don’t know what you’re talking about I—“ he paused as she pulled her own phone out and positioned herself mirror to him, holding her phone up exactly as he did to reveal the reflection of her screen easily visible to him in the windows behind her.

His embarrassment reached critical levels and a hand came up to shade his eyes, “Oh…”

She snickered across from him, “Must be a good read.”

Was this bullying? “Look it’s not what—“

“Please say it’s not what I think, cause that’ll be an awesome hole to watch you crawl out of.”

A flash of irritation surged, “Look not that it’s any of your business but my girlfriend wanted me to read it—why do I talk?”

The woman was silently shaking with laughter at his proclamation, and it was with great relief that he saw his stop had arrived. He got to his feet quickly, swinging his backpack over his shoulder and speed walking away from the awkwardness.

At least he tried to. However, as he made his way up the stairs and into the streets, he was all too aware of the constant presence of the mean spirited woman behind him. He tried to justify that she was just going her own way and would turn sooner or later.

After five blocks and the constant feeling of eyes on his back he had to face reality.

His mind whirled with possibilities of what she could want. Was she homeless? Was she gonna try and mug him? Maybe she was an escaped mental patient…

He turned into an alley and tried several side streets to try and throw her off. Obviously she wasn’t that big a threat to him but he had no interest in any drama that day.

His hopes were brutally dashed as the woman in question slammed down on the pavement in front of him, cracks splintering out from her impact.

A curse slipped from his lips as he stumbled back and not for the first time wished his spider sense worked for jump-scares as well as actual danger, “Who are you? What do you want?!”

She crossed her arms and leaned to the side, “I want to to return the shit you stole.”

He stared at her, “Sorry what?”

She sighed, “Please don’t make this difficult. We all go through rough times, I’m not here to turn you in or whatever, I’m just returning my clients belongings. Now hand them over.”

“I didn’t steal anything! Why do you think I did?”

“Well whoever stole my clients jewelry did so via breaking through the window.”

He stared at her, “Okay?”

“She lives in a penthouse.”

A thrum of panic zipped through him, “And I obviously did it because…”

She sneered, “I’m really not up for the dumbass routine kid. I know you’re the Spider-Man.

“I’m not a kid!” Hd protested, before cursing himself silently for not arguing the spider part first.

“And I’m not an alcoholic, denial is fun kid but it’s not going to help you here.”

He took a few steps back, gripping his backpack strap as he planned a quick escape, “Look, even if I were Spider-Man, which I’m not by the way, isn’t he a superhero? Why would he be stealing from anyone?”

She rolled her eyes, “Maybe cause I followed him home to find out he lives in a shit hole? Then frequently spends hours at a time in a sketchy warehouse with no job to be found?

He opened his mouth to correct her, then closed it. The situation wasn’t bad enough to justify betraying Dr. Connors trust. “That’s a lot of assumptions. Correlation doesn’t equal causation you know. Also I’m not—Hey!” He instinctively held a hand up to catch the rock she had pulled out of her pocket and chucked at him hard enough to put a hole through his skull.

“Wanna try that again?”

He threw the rock aside angrily, “What the hell? You could have killed me!”

“Oh please. You dodge bullets, don’t be a bitch.”

“What if you were wrong what if I wasn’t…” he trailed off as she pulled out several photos from her other pocket, apparently taken from his fire escape and featuring him in costume with the mask off. Another shows him leaving the same apartment, jumping out the window.

“…Okay one: creepy much?” She only shrugged unapologetically, “And two: you couldn’t have just led with that?!”

“Pictures can be faked. I wanted all our cards on the table.”

He glared at her for a moment before sighing, “Well sorry to tell you Stalkerella, but you have the wrong guy. I didn’t steal anything.”

“You expect me to believe someone else crawled up fifty stories on the outside of the building?”

“Maybe they flew!” He threw his hands up angrily. “We have all kinds of weirdos running around these days lady, kinda weird to jump straight to harassing me. Oh let me guess,” he barked out a laugh of bewilderment, “You must be a Daily Bugle fan!”

She scoffed, “Jonah’s a fear monger, anyone with half a brain knows that. I just happen to believe that nobody’s perfect, especially not ‘superheroes’.”

“So what you’re gonna beat me up if I don’t ‘give up the goods’? How do you expect me to prove my innocence to you when you don’t even have any evidence?”

“That’s your problem really.”

He bit his lip at the absurdity of the situation, holding back a swear as all manners he thought he had were broken down by the blunt woman. After taking a deep breath, he spoke evenly, “What if I try and help you catch the real culprit?”

She didn’t even blink, “Why should I believe it’s not you?”

He slipped off his backpack and tossed it to her, likely rougher than would normally he safe but she caught it easily, “Check it! There nothing in there but books and a half-busted laptop!”

She did check it, keeping a suspicious eye on him as she went through every pouch the ten dollar sack had to offer, before shrugging and tossing it back to him. “Show me your apartment.”

“What you haven’t already broken in?”

“I survey, I don’t burgle… usually.”

Eager to get the ordeal over with, he reluctantly agreed and led her back to his apartment, though not before looking back, “Do you have a name you’re willing to share or is Stalkerella what we’re going with, cause that works for me.”

“Jessica Jones you little shit, from Alias Investigations.”

“Charmed.”

“Im sure.”

As they walked back to his place, he felt the need to try and salvage their already abysmal first impression.

“So… super-strength huh?”

“Actually I control gravity.

“Yeah right… wait really?”

“No dipshit I have super-strength, seriously how’s an idiot like you supposed to protect the city?”

He rolled his eyes and decided he’d done all he could.

Once they finally arrived however, Jessica’s attitude quickly skipped to the back of his mind as he saw his front door cracked open, despite the fact that he’d definitely locked it when he left for the lab that morning.

“Expecting company?” Jones inquired, he responded with a quieting gesture, which she actually adhered to much to his shock. They crept quietly to the door, stopping just outside to listen.

Sure enough, a light clatter could be heard inside, and Peters anger hit the threshold. First this irritable jerk of a woman accuses him of theft, and now someone was robbing his threadbare apartment?He’d had enough.

With a roar of anger, he shouldered the door open, ready to lay into whoever was on the other side.

Only the anger disappeared in an instant, replaced with confusion as he saw Kate frozen in front of his kitchen cabinet, wide blue eyes looking back at him like she was caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

Peter broke the silence first, “Kate?”

She tried for a smile but it oozed anxiety, “Heyyyy baby… Welcome back! I thought you’d already be out swinging by now…”

“I took the train home…”

He was so caught up trying to make sense of the situation he didn’t notice Jessica wander in behind him, “This the girlfriend you were talking about?”

Kates worried expression morphed to look more like Peters as she took in the new arrival, “Uh, hi? Are you a friend of Peters?”

“Something like that.”

“Kate why are you in my apartment.” Peter broke in, “I don’t remember giving you a key.”

Kate winced, “Okay but promise you won’t be mad?”

“Oh this’ll be good.”

“Quiet!” He hissed at the smirking investigator, “Kate… I promise I won’t be mad. I trust you had a very good reason for this?”

The younger brunette nodded eagerly, “Yes well… you see I was kinda bringing you extra groceries.”

Their audience snorted but Peter paid her no mind, “You broke into my apartment to bring me groceries?”

Kate sighed, “Well you always get so weird when I try to buy you things! And I know you get hungry overnight cause of your—“ her eyes flickered to Jessica, “Dietary requirements.”

“She knows.” Peter grumbled.

“About—“

“Yes about Spider-Man.”

“How—“

“It’s a long story. Seriously what were you thinking?”

“I just wanted to help!”

“I’m getting paid really well now though, you know I can afford it!”

“Yeah I know that, but I also know that whenever we’re together you eat like you’re starving to death! I bet you get so carried away Spidey-ing you forget to pickup food on the way home half the time! You’re fridge was practically barren when I got here.”

Peter rubbed his temples, trying not to let it show how accurately she hit the nail on the head. After a long night he did often let it slip his mind to plan for future meals, “Even so, you shouldn’t have broken in. I mean did you really think I wouldn’t find out.”

She only cringed.

“No…”

“Well…”

“How long?”

She sucked a hissing breath in through her teeth, “A couple weeks?”

Peter stared at her, she stated back. He opened his mouth.

And laughed.

He couldn’t help it, despite the horrendous mood he had just been been in, Kate and her antics had washed all the negative feeling away in a matter of seconds.

“Hey Kate?”

She tensed up, obviously unsure if it was bad laughing or good laughing, “Yes?”

“I love you.”

Her posture relaxed as she melted at the words, “Peter…”

“You don’t have to—“

She cut him off by flinging herself bodily into him for a kiss, “I love you to.”

He chuckled, “Yeah I kind of figured, it’d be pretty weird otherwise…”

They gazed happily at each other, letting the moment take it’s time to sink in. Or at least they tried to.

“What the fuck?!”

The couple looked at Jessica, who was observing the scene with a mixture of suspicion and disgust.

“Is something wrong?” Kate asked

“What is this hallmark Disney movie bullshit?”

Peter sighed, “What are you talking about?”

Jessica pointed at Kate with a slightly frantic look in her eye, “Your girlfriend broke into your apartment! She’s been doing it for weeks apparently! You don’t know all she’s been getting up to in here, how do you know she’s not snooping through your private shit?!”

Peter looked back to Kate, “Were you?”

She gestured around his one room apartment, “Not really a lot to snoop through.”

Peter smirked, “Well there you have it then.”

One of Jessica’s eyes seemed to twitch as she stared, before apparently giving up on him and turning to Kate, “And you! Your boyfriend just brought home a mysterious woman when you weren’t supposed to be here and you just what, don’t question it?”

Kate seemed to try and fail to hold in a snicker, “Well it’s not like he’s gonna cheat on me.”

“How do you know?”

Kate tilted her head, an almost pitying expression forming, “Do you not know what trust is?”

For a moment, it appeared that Jessica was about to spontaneously combust as her mind struggled to accept reality.

As the woman fumed, Kate turned her attention back to Peter, “Now that she mentioned it though I am curious.”

Peter groaned, “You’re not gonna believe this. Apparently I’m a cat burglar.”

Kates face wavered as it tried to hold itself together, but once again the effort was futile, “Seriously?” She hiccuped with laughter at the very thought, “You can barely handle me speeding on patrol!”

Red faced, Peter hastily moved on, “Well apparently someone broke into a penthouse through the window of a skyscraper, and Spider-Man was her first suspect.”

“What just cause you’re a spider, that’s kinda racist.”

“Right? So apparently she’s been stalking me and taking pictures of me changing—“

“She WHAT?” Peter nearly realized his mistake too late as Kate made to storm towards Jessica. He snagged her arm at the last minute and pulled her back.

“She also has super strength so maybe don’t pick a fight with her? She’s kind of a douche but I don’t think she’s a full time bad guy.”

Kate relented but not before shooting Jessica a withering look, “I have my eye on you…”

Jessica raised an eyebrow, “I’m shaking.”

“You probably should be once she gets her bow,” Peter commented idly, “Her sights are not a safe place to be.”

“Aww babe!”

“Porn!” Jessica stated suddenly.

“Uh what?”

“He was literally about to read porn on the subway when I found him today! What do you think about that?”

Peter looked at her with a strange mix of irritation and pity, “Are you… trying to cause problems because you think our relationship is too healthy?”

“It’s weird!”

For her part, Kate simply turned to Peter excitedly, “Which one was it?”

He sighed, “The massage one?”

“Oooh that’s a good one. You’re in for a treat!”

Jessica watched this interaction with all the expressions of an someone experiencing mental episode, before finally she seemed to reach a conclusion.

“I need a drink.”

Chapter Text

Turns out Jessica had a flask on her, and true to her word, downed the entire thing before proceeding to take a look around Peters apartment, verifying that he wasn’t hiding any stolen goods.

He wasn’t thrilled about it as he leaned against the kitchen counter, but Kate was absolutely livid as she leaned next to him, clutching his arm and idly rubbing her nails up and down it. As she watched the scratches occasionally turned from pleasant to painful, but he didn’t have the heart to ask her to stop.

“We could just kick her out.” She muttered, “I mean who does she think she is?”

“Apparently she’s some sort of private eye.” He told her, “She’s getting paid to find the lost items.”

“Not very heroic.”

“I never claimed to be a hero brat.” Jessica spoke up, apparently having overheard.

Kates nails dug in, causing Peter to wince, though he endured. He preferred it to them starting a fight, “Jessica I’m doing you a favor letting you look through here, the least you can do is not be actively insulting.”

“I don’t really have any other way of being.”

“Clearly.” Kate gritted out.

Jessica walked back over to them, “Looks like you’re clean.”

“Yeah almost like I was telling the truth.”

“Yeah well I’m still curious about that warehouse.”

Peters jaw set, “Out of the question.”

The P.I. eyed him, “You do realize how suspicious that is right?”

“It’s not my secret to share. That’s all you need to know.”

“Maybe I’ll take a look over there by myself.”

Peter was off the counter in an instant, allowing his anger to present itself as he stood face to face with the woman, “Try it and I’ll stop you.”

Jessica’s chin tilted up, “You think you can?”

“You don’t want to find out.”

She searched his face for any trace of untruth, before smirking, “Fine.”

He blinked, “Wait really?”

“Honestly I’d be more suspicious if you didn’t have something to hide. You’re still helping me find the real thief though. And I’m not sharing the reward.”

“Fine, whatever, now could you give us a minute? You kind of ruined our first ‘I love you’ so…”

She rolled her eyes in disgust. “Whatever, be downstairs in ten minutes. I assume you have some kind of plan?”

“Working on it.”

When she finally left the apartment, Kate blurted out, “I don’t like her.”

Peter sighed, “Yeah me neither.”

“So why are we agreeing to help her?”

“Well she’s tracking down a criminal, and as superheroes…”

Kate tried to hold her grumpy refusal, but as he slowly pulled his lips into a smile and chased her eyes wherever she looked, her walls went crumbling down. “Ugh! Why didn’t anyone tell me being a superhero could be such a drag sometimes.”

“Kate. You met me. I’m pretty sure I qualify as the cautionary tale by now.”

“That… yeah fair enough. So is there actually a plan?”

“Well I figured we’d start where an investigation aught to: at the scene of the crime.”

“Makes sense.”

Peter nodded before pausing to hesitate, “Should we call Yelena?”

“To help with this?”

“Well that and also… it occurred to me that we just shared ‘I love you’s without her. Should we like… let her know or something?”

Kate thought for a moment, “I don’t think so. I mean if she asks then we obviously don’t lie, but I’m pretty sure it’s okay for us all to go at different paces with that kind of thing. I think Yelena might need more time with that than we do.”

He frowned, “Yeah you’re probably right. I think I do though… love her. Do you?”

Kate smiled happily, “Yeah, I do.”

He couldn’t help but smile back, “Cool… Should we call her about this situation though?”

Kate shook her head, “I called her this morning and she had apparently been up all night working on her suit. You know her vest finally arrived yesterday, she’s been going kinda crazy modifying it.”

“Oh no way! Well if she’s having fun I guess we shouldn’t bother her. I can’t wait to see it when it’s done.”

“I snuck a peek at some of her design sketches, it’s gonna look sick. We have to introduce her to Missy some time, I bet they’d get along great.”

“You’re probably right. Well I guess we better get going before Chuckles throws a fit down there.”

He turned towards the door, but was stopped when Kate grabbed his arm and pulled him back. He indulged it as always, and was rewarded with her wrapping him tight in her arms and giving him a much more passionate kiss than the one before.

He allowed himself to melt into her, and quickly lost track of the minutes. At some point he found himself running his hands down her body, before gripping her rear and lifting her up onto his counter, allotting him much better access to her neck.

Before he let himself get too carried away he pulled back to look at her, “What’s this for?”

She shrugged, “Cause I love you. And you love me. And you’re pretty cute…”

He didn’t bother restraining his smile at her words, though he still raised an eyebrow, “And?”

Her grin turned wicked, “And I want to make the bitch wait.”

“Works for me.” He delved straight back into her neck, boldly allowing himself to slip a hand up her shirt as well.

She hummed in delight as he moved his hand in a certain way “You have been doing your reading!”

Ten passionate minutes later, they made their way downstairs, finding Jessica glaring at them from the sidewalk. “Really?”

“What?” Kate asked, with all the innocence of someone who hadn’t just been groped and motor-boated.

“Fuckin’ kids… come on we’re burning daylight.”

“I brought a bike!” Kate volunteered. “We’ll swing by my place first so I can pick up my gear.”

“I’ll meet you guys there.” Peter told them, gesturing to the roof of the building behind them, “I’ll go change and catch up.”

Soon he was suited up and swinging through the streets, quickly catching up with the pair on the bike and doing a sleek fly by, skimming his gloved fingers over the roads surface as he shot past them.

He perched on corner of the building, giving them a wave when they finally arrived. He received one wave and one raised finger in return.

He jumped down and landed easily on the sidewalk, shooting Jessica a pointed look, “Note the lack of damage from impact? It’s called skill.”

“Note my lack of giving a shit. It’s called adulthood.”

“Oh knock it off,” Kate scolded them both as she got off the bike.

Peter gave a dramatic bow, “The express elevator m’lady?”

“Don’t mind if I do!” She responded, before he grabbed and swung her quickly up to her apartment.

Soon she was decked out and ready to go. They considered making Jessica wait once more, but decided not to push their luck.

When they made their way back down to the road, Jessica looked Kate up and down skeptically, “Who are you supposed to be? The Huntress?”

“It’s Hawkeye actually.” Kate stated proudly, ignoring the disbelieving snort, “Now let’s get going, I wanna get this mystery solved before dinner.

“That’s not often how these things go.”

“Maybe not for you…”

Somehow, they made it to their final destination without anyone killing each other.

“So what now?” Jessica asked as they looked up at the high rise, ignoring pedestrians ignoring them for the most part, as New Yorkers do. “I’ve already checked out the inside of the apartment, there was nothing to find.”

“Did you check the outside? Y’know since they apparently scaled the building?”

“Of course not how would I… oh.”

He couldn’t resist, “Who’s the dipshit now.” He held out a fist to Kate without looking, feeling an immense surge of gratification when she bumped it right away.

“Still you.”

“You’re really mean you know that. You’re also staying down here because only nice people get swing rides. Kate? Ready?”

“Hold on! This is a perfect chance to try the new launcher.”

“Oh yeah!”

“The new what?” Jessica asked behind them. Rather than answer, Kate simply pulled out a rather bulky looking arrow from her quiver, setting it on the bow. As it connected, a sharp click sounded, and as Kate raised the bow skyward, she pulled back the fletching, only for the main body to remain still where it connected with the bow. The fletching extended back along with a thin tube, looking a bit like a syringe, and once she had her sights set she released it.

The tube snapped back into the main body, triggering a web-line to fire out of the tip of the arrow, flying farther than any arrow could before attaching itself to the ledge of the buildings roof.

Kate held her bow with both hands in front of her, psyching herself up as Peter hovered worriedly behind her, “Got a good grip?”

“I got it.”

“I can web your hands—“

“I’ll be fine!” She laughed before shifting her hands around on the bow, “Where’d you put the button again?”

He pointed it out to her and she shot Jessica one last smirk, “See ya!” With that she pressed the button and shrieked in equal parts fear and exhilaration as the web-line retracted quickly, pulling her up the side of the building at blistering speeds.

Peter only spared Jessica one more glance before leaping after Kate, keeping pace with her by sprinting up the side of the building under her, ready to catch her at any second.

Jessica’s gaze followed them for a moment, before she shook her head and walking towards the building entrance.

High above, Kate eventually released the button as they made it to the outside of the penthouse. However, her speed decreased on its own time, and she found herself temporarily weightless before she fell back down a short way, the elasticity of the web jerking her up and down as she tried to steady her feet on the buildings surface.

Peter was there a moment later to steady her, holding her still to the wall as she regained her breath and felt her heart pounding, “You alright?”

“It’s a little bouncy.”

“Yeah sorry, I’ll make a note. I think I can fix it with a few tweaks to the formula.”

“It’s accurate as hell though! I used the wind calculations you told me and it worked a treat!”

Peter nodded modestly, “Yeah well it would suck if I was swinging and a stray breeze caused me to miss and fall to my death. Anyways let’s see what we’re dealing with here.

They maneuvered their way around the wall, Kate walking carefully with her bow gripped tight and Peter just walking horizontally. They eventually found the window where the break in occurred, as evidenced by the obscenely perfect circle cut out of the glass, easily large enough for someone to crawl through.

“Wow, someone really did crawl up here.” Peter commented, “Or flew…”

“Actually I’m pretty sure they crawled.” Kate, called to him, having lowered herself down a few feet, “Check this out.”

He crouched down next to her to see what she was looking at. There, barely visible in the brick, were several thin incisions, five to be exact.

“Damn, nice catch Hawkeye.” He praised, enjoying the swell of pride that still visibly ran through her every time someone called her that. “Are these claw marks?”

“Looks like it. So they climbed up the building using claws. Hehe, really puts the cat in cat… burglar…”

She trained off as they turned to look at each other.

Peter cleared his throat, “You uh… you don’t think—“

“No! I mean… she wouldn’t right?”

“Do we… do we know where she got the money for her apartment?”

“I thought it was from assassination contracts…”

“Wasn’t she brainwashed though? I doubt they’d need to pay her…”

They say it uncomfortable silence for a minute before both scoffed, “As if!”

“There’s no way!”

“Should we ask her though?”

“Yeah probably,” Kate sighed.

“Wait!” Peter stopped her, pulling out his phone, “I have a better idea!”

Kate was confused until she saw who he was dialing, “Ohhh!”

After a few rings Shuri answered on FaceTime, apparently from bed as her disheveled and squinting visage appeared with a pillow behind her, “What the hell do you white people want?”

“Uh… that’s kinda racist isn’t it?”

“I’m a little racist when I’m woken up in the middle of the night. One of my quirks.”

“Sorry Shuri,” Peter spoke earnestly, “I totally forgot about the time difference, do you want us to call back later

“No no… I’m already up.” The view shook as she sat up and inadvertently revealed her rather thin… slightly see through nightgown as she stretched awake before bringing the phone to her face again. “What do you need?”

She was met with the sight of Peters eye lenses staring wide while Kate was leaning in close next to him, eyes equally wide and glued to the phone screen.

“Guys? Helloooo…”

“Right!” Kate came back to herself first, nudging Peter back to attention as well.

“Uh yeah! So we’re kinda investigating a theft—“

“Ugh, boring…”

“—where someone broke in through the window of a skyscraper.”

“I stand corrected,” she rubbed some sleep out of her eyes before squinting h at them once more, “Where are you two?”

Peter angled the phone above them as Kate leaned in, “We’re on the side of the building!”

“Woof, that’s high up. Scared?”

“So very scared!” Kate confirmed with a wide smile, “But Peters got me so I’m good.”

“Yes, he is very good at catching things.”

“I try.”

“So what do you need me for?”

Peter flipped the camera to focus on the claw marks, “Are you seeing what we’re seeing?”

“Hmm, bring your phone closer to it.”

Peter did so, expecting her to simply want a closer look. Instead, as it got close, a small instrument popped out of the side of his phone and began running a light scanner over the area. He nearly dropped the phone in shock.

“Shuri! Why is my phone doing that? How is my phone doing that?”

“Ah yes well that would be because it’s not your original phone. I switched that with this one while you were… under my care in Wakanda.”

“Why? And also what the fuck? Is it some sort of spyware?”

“It can be, it can also be other things. It’s nanotech, able to shift into different devices upon my command. As for the why…” she gave a slightly embarrassed look, “I did it while you were still under suspicion, in case you escaped. Then all of ‘that’ happened and I might have forgotten to switch it back before you left…”

Peters eye lenses narrowed, “You forgot?”

“What about after? That was weeks ago, surely it occurred to you at some point?” Kate added, equally befuddled.

“Well yeah but it would have been awkward by then! Besides now it is of use to you so if you think about it it’s kind of like a gift.” A chime sounded and her eyes lit up, “Ah! Scan complete! Wanna see?”

Peter shook his head, “Fine but we’re not done talking about this. I don’t know if I like you having instant access to everything in my phone.”

“To be fair I have that anyway with almost anyones phone.” She didn’t push further than that as the image of her face minimized to reveal a 3-D scan of the claw marks, revealing the general shape, size and sharpness of the claws that made them. “As you can see, they are much smaller than my brothers Vibranium claws so you can cross him off the list of suspects.”

“We weren’t really suspecting a king to be robbing people but thanks I guess.”

Shuri was unfazed, “You can also rest assured that they are much too small to be Yelena’s.”

“How do you know Yelena’s claw size?” Kate asked. “Also we never suspected her!”

“Not even once!”

“Uh huh… We’ve been corresponding about her powers, keeping track of any new developments or side effects.”

“Side effects?” Both exclaimed.

“Possible side effects! So far she’s fine… I think. It’s hard to get a read on her sometimes.”

“Yeah we noticed that too.” Peter sighed, “Is there anything else you can tell us?”

“Well judging from how clean and straight they cut into the brick, it’s likely safe to assume they are artificial, and aided by some sort of mechanism. Sharp claws or not, normal human hands don’t have the strength to dig in like this, and certainly not with such precision.”

“Great,” Peter huffed, “So a thief with a super suit is what you’re saying?”

“Most likely.”

“Thank you Shuri!” Kate waved as the camera flipped back around.

“Sorry about waking you.” Peter repeated, before tilting his head, “But you planted spyware on me so a little less sorry than I normally would be.”

“Yeah fair enough. You should hold on to it though, if you want I can use it to help with other things.”

“What kinds of things.” Kate asked curiously.”

A sly smirk formed on the princess’ face as an eyebrow rose suggestively, “All kinds of things…”

The call ended.

Despite being high in the fridges windy sky of New York, the pair of heroes felt significantly warmer than a moment before.

“Was she—“

“We should probably focus.” Peter cut her off.”

“Right, Kate nodded, “Professional, focused. On the job.”

“Exactly.”

“…that was a pretty nightgown though huh?”

Peters head fell into his hands as he crouched on the wall, “Oh god we’re degenerates.”

“Yeah but at least we’re degenerates together!”

“Hey!” They both looked up to see Jessica sticking her head out the hole in the window, “What are you two doing down there!?”

Peter looked at Kate.

Kate looked at Peter.

“Just hanging out!” They both called up.

The abrasive woman rolled her eyes so far back Peter worried they might snap as she retreated back into the penthouse, “Get up here before I throw myself out of this fucking hole!”

They obeyed, but not before sharing another silent fist bump.

Once they were both up they entered the apartment slowly, causing Jessica huff from where she sat behind the swanky personal bar. “Relax, the jackass is staying at a hotel. Couldn’t stand the draft.

They watched her as she reached under the bar and pulled out an expensive looking bottle of scotch, unscrewing the lid and downing a big gulp without a care in the world

“Isn’t that jackass your client?” Kate asked in confusion.

“And isn’t that his scotch?” Peter asked, disapproval lacing his words.

“Yes and yes.” Jessica took another swig before tossing the bottle carelessly over her shoulder, shattering several other things in the process. “While you were fucking around outside I took the stairs, both to get my daily cardio and to do a quick google search, shed some light on some things.”

“Really? A google search cracked the case?” Peter asked skeptically.

“Welcome to reality kid, you’d be surprised how often that’s all it takes. Case isn’t cracked yet though, I only got a better understanding of our little thief.”

“Like what?”

“Like the fact that my client just got busted for sexually harassing his female coworkers, along with embezzling, blackmail and a laundry list of other crimes that will put him away for quite a few years.”

“Your client is in jail?” Kate exclaimed.

“Yep, apparently it’s where he belongs. Hence the free booze.”

“So what now?” Peter asked, “You have no client right? Are you just done?”

“Hell no. I’ve been doing this too long not to account for that. The contract I have with him clearly states I get paid upon return of the goods to him or his financial advisor regardless of his own personal situation.”

“You put all your clients in those kinds of contracts?”

She shrugged, “Just the ones that smell skeevy. This guy reeked.”

“Well is that it?” Kate asked, “Not exactly a lead…”

“No but I’ll tell you what is: this guy isn’t the first this happened to.”

Understanding began to dawn, “You mean—“

“I’ve dug up a number of other robberies in the past few years, people who almost immediately got ousted as crapbaskets afterwards. There’s probably more that kept it quiet out of embarrassment or lack of anyone giving a shit.”

“So the thief is also a kind of vigilante?” Peter thought out loud.

“Like Robin Hood! Stealing from the rich and corrupt.” Kate added.

“Yeah well let’s hope they aren’t giving to the poor.” Jessica grumbled. “Retrieval would be a bitch and a half…”

“Is there anything connecting the… victims… besides what happened to them?”

Jessica gave them a superior look, “As a matter of fact there is. They all came from different companies and firms, but every single one of those were in contact with the same Temp Agency: Manhattan Fahrenheit. The names of who worked when aren’t digitally accessible, but Im betting they’d have it somewhere in their main office headquarters…”

She trailed off as stars begin to form in the young archers eyes, an aura of excitement practically radiating from her.

“Is she okay?”

Peter chuckled, “She’s fine.” He put a reassuring hand on Kates back, “Let it out babe.”

“Infiltration mission!” She cheered happily

Jessica looked at her like one might look at someone walking repeatedly into a brick wall, “Sure… as uncertain as I now am about it, it’s our best option besides just busting in there with force. One is a lot less likely to get us arrested.”

“Can’t we just ask for the records?” Peter asked, wincing at the devastated expression on Kates face beside him.

“No dice, these places don’t mess around with their employees information. It’s their entire business after all. Nothing less than a warrant would get it for us.”

Peter nodded, “Alright then, infiltration it is.” He gave Kate a look. “you know what we have to do though.”

“Are you sure? She did seem busy…”

“I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t forgive us if we tried something like this without her. Or well, she’d forgive us, but she wouldn’t let us forget it.”

“You’re right… I’ll call her.”

“Hold on now, who are we talking about?” Jessica asked, distrust glaring over her features.

Peter looked at Kate. He shrugged

Kate looked at Peter. She nodded.

“Our girlfriend.”

Chapter Text

They ended up waiting in a nearby alley for Yelena to show up. The phone call had revealed that while she had been in the middle of finishing up her suit, she was incredibly relieved they had called her first rather than try and pull it off themselves, and she praised them both accordingly.

Peter and Kate were leaning on one wall, happily discussing possible future improvements for the web-line arrow, while Jessica leaned on the opposite wall, glaring at them like a puzzle that refused to he solved.

The one sided staring match eventually came to an end when Yelena finally appeared outside the alley, her hair loose and glowing in the midday sun. She was dressed in jeans, a comfy looking tee and a flannel jacket, none of which seemed expensive in the slightest, yet somehow appeared designer when assembled on Yelena’s compact frame. “Hi!”

“Oh you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me!” Jessica exclaimed upon seeing the Russian beauty.

“No actually I am Yelena Belova.” She answered evenly as she joined them in the shade. “And you are?”

Rather than answer, Jessica pointed a thumb at Kate and Peter, who were watching the interaction with something like horrified fascination. As if they were waiting for a bomb to go off. “You’re seriously dating these dipshits?”

Yelena looked between Jessica and the two heroes with a blank expression, “You are referring to Kate Bishop and Spider-Man?”

“Uh yeah? Nobody else is here!”

“Well I am dating Kate Bishop but Spider-Man—“

“Uh Yelena?” Peter interjected, “She already knows who I am?”

The blonde raised an eyebrow, “You told her?”

“Try following him home and taking photos of him from his fire escape.” Kate huffed, apparently not at all over that.

Yelena slid her gaze back over to Jessica, “You did this?”

“Yeah, thought he might’ve been my target. He wasn’t. Oh well.”

“You are very full of attitude. Is this how you speak to them all day?”

“Yelena, it’s really not that big a deal…” Peter tried, but he could feel his words were being ignored.

“I say what I mean, I do what I want. If your little friends here act like idiots and I tell them that, that’s their problem.”

“I see. You will apologize.”

“Oh boy.” Peter whispered worriedly.

“Oh boy…” Kate whispered for an entirely different reason.

“Excuse me?” Jessica guffawed.

“Of course. As soon as you apologize.”

“That’s not happening.”

“It will. You can do it now, or I can put you on the ground and have you do it then.”

Jessica stepped closer to Yelena, fists clenched. Peter and Kate tensed up as well, ready to intervene if necessary.

Fortunately, it wasn’t. Before Jessica could understand what was happening, Yelena’s leg swept up in an outrageous feat of flexibility and hooked her by the neck. The next instant the thin woman was face down on the pavement with a knee pressing on her back and her arms pinned firmly behind her.

A long stream of increasingly colorful language poured out of the struggling woman’s mouth, but Yelena just laughed as her struggles remained pointless. “You are very strong Ms. Jones but my daddy taught me the best way to pin someone like you. You cannot use that strength without leverage, so I ask you now: will you apologize, or should I start trying to make it hurt?”

She took her time deciding, but eventually she turned a very bitter face towards Kate and Peter, “…I’m sorry for being rude…”

Peter tried to keep the pity off his face, but he definitely failed as he nodded to her, “No worries, we’re good.”

“Yeah huh…” Kate absently agreed, too busy staring hungrily at Yelena as she easily subdued the superpowersd woman, apparently without even using her Tiger amulet.

Needless to say, Peter understood where her head was at.

“Wonderful!” Yelena exclaimed before standing up and hauling the shockingly light woman to her feet, “Now that is settled we will be friends yes?”

Jessica glared at her warily, “Why the fuck would I—“

“I will buy us drinks later to celebrate!”

“…fine.”

“Glad that is settled.” Yelena smiled before turning to the others, “Now the-mmmph!” She was cut off by a face full of Kate Bishop.

Peter walked over next to Jessica as they both idly watch Kate attack Yelena’s face like a starving woman, “Yeah… I think Kate hasn’t seen Yelena since the day before last. She tends to get pretty worked up you know?”

“I want to go home.”

“Me too, but the days not over. Oh and in case you missed it,” he leaned in close with an air if mischief, “Yelena’s the scary one in the relationship.”

“Thanks for the warning.” She gritted out.

Eventually Kate came up for air, bringing up a chiding finger to Yelena’s face, “You still shouldn’t pin people, even if they are mean to us.”

“Shall I just pin you then?”

Kate’s face twitched a few times before she groaned needfully and went back in for more.

“Yeah… this could be a while.” Peter chuckled.

“Tell me honestly.” She said, watching the interaction with a slowly tilted head, “How does it work?”

“How does what work?”

“You and two other women.”

“Oh… well that helps.” He said gesturing to the unplanned back alley make-out session.

“Obviously, but still, doesn’t anyone get jealous? Selfish? Kid you gotta know some things are too good to be true.”

His lenses narrowed but he simply shrugged, “I know that. I guess… I just keep trying my best for them, and they each do the same. Beyond that… your guess is as good as mine.”

“Huh…” they stood silently for a moment. “You know I’m straight as an arrow but damn it if they don’t look like they’re enjoying themselves.”

Peter laughed, “Yeah I should… I better break them up so we can actually get something done today.

Jessica watched closely as the hero stride confidently up to the two women, only to immediately be overpowered and thrown against the wall, his mask pulled up and their mouths competing to claim his.

Jessica snorted, “Should have seen that coming.”

Nearly an hour later, they stood on the building opposite of the temp agency headquarters.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go in with them?” Peter asked Kate.

“I’m sure,” she nodded grimly, “if I’m gonna be Hawkeye, I’ll have to walk the walk.”

“…And that translates into crawling through vents?”

“Duh, everyone knows Clint always crawled through the vents in Avengers tower! It’s where he was most comfortable. I have to uphold the legacy.”

“You seriously don’t think they’re idiots?” Jessica whispered behind them to Yelena, who was putting her hair into an intricate braid.

“I never said that. I just can’t abide anyone but me telling them so.”

“Hey Yelena,” Peter called back, “I just realized, are you going to go with your accent or—“

“I totally get what you’re saying,” Yelena answered, in an perfect American accent, “And I’m one step ahead of you.”

“Wait, you could speak perfect English this whole time?” Kaye asked.

“Da.”

“Well then why—“

“Do you want me to get rid of it Kate Bishop.” She asked, taking extra special care to enunciate every syllable of the name.

“Shutting up.”

Jessica and Yelena entered the building through the front door, while Peter carried Kate to the roof and broke open the ventilation shaft, allowing them easy access.

As Yelena led Jessica through the front doors, she spoke quietly, “Are you in?”

“Yep!” Peters voice crackled in her ear. “These ear piece things are so cool! I feel like I’m in a spy movie.”

“Peter you’re literally a superhero.” Kate’s amused voice chimed in.

“Yeah but I’m no James Bond, until now at least.

“Are you finding your way?” Yelena cut in, professional tone kicking in as the mission was underway.

“Yeah my lenses are showing me the path.”

“These vents are way mustier than I thought they’d be.” Kate noted, “I don’t know how Clint does it.”

“Kate do you think maybe that was just a fan-fiction you read?”

“…it’s possible.”

“Find us, we’re approaching the front desk now.”

“Try not to chatter in our ears too much.” Jessica added.

“You got it!”

The two women walked confidently up to the front desk, Yelena taking the lead, “Hi there! Do you know where we go for orientation?”

The woman behind the desk looked at them in confusion, “Sorry what?”

“Oh sorry! I’m Elenor but I go by Nora, this is My bestie Jess! It’s our first day! The girl on the phone told us to come ask you where to go…”

The receptionists eyes narrowed, “Becky…”

“Oh you know her?”

“She’s always pulling crap like this! Hoisting her shit on me. Well not today!” She picked up the phone and began to dial.

“You calling her?” Jessica asked.

“Better, I’m calling her manager, let them sort it out.” As it dialed, she gave Jessica once over, “Is that what you’re gonna wear?”

Before she could respond, Yelena cut, “Oh my god! Is there a dress code? Are we breaking it? Oh shit they didn’t tell us anything, and in my first day too…”

“You’ll he okay!” The receptionist insisted, turning nervous the moment tears began falling, “It’s just… a different vibe then what we’re usually known for.”

Above, Peter was leading the way as they did they’re best to quietly maneuver through the metal shaft. Peter took to it easily. Kate on the other hand…

“Oh man, I crawled through another spiderweb!” She whimpered.

“What’s wrong with that?” He teased

“You’re all covered up and safe man, that shit got in my mouth.”

“Oof, sorry. By the way, could you try to be a little quieter, if your knees keep banging around we might get caught.”

“How else am I supposed to crawl?”

“Just do what I’m doing.”

“What you’re doing is unnatural and inhuman.” She pointed out, “and fantastic for your ass, but if I tried it I’m pretty sure I’d break my ankles.”

“Huh, feels pretty natural to me.”

“Said Spider-Man, the man who got powers from a friggin spider.”

“…Alright fair enough.”

They had to slow down a bit so Kate would make less noise, but eventually they found themselves peering down at The other two as an overly bubbly woman led them through what looked like a club lounge poorly masquerading as a regular office. There were desks and computers, but there was also a full bar around which most of the rooms occupants stood, laughing and drinking, a few even dancing. All of them appeared to be women dressed in clothing ranging from form fitting to what could only technically be referred to as clothing.

“This is where our girls go to relax and get themselves ready for their next assignment!” Their guide explained. “Once I get you all situated this is where you’ll be spending most of your time until we get you your first gig.”

“This looks so fun!” Yelena gushed, while Jess looked around with a pained expression.

“I thought this was a Temp agency.”

The guide smirked and gave a wink, “Don’t worry, I know how it looks but you aren’t expected to step an inch out of your comfort zone. Still you are expected to look your best, like our ‘unofficial’ motto says: Manhattan Fahrenheit always has the hottest temps!”

Listening from the vents above, Peter was watching with an open mouth as Kate just huffed beside them.

“Is this… an escort service?”

“Might as well be. My mom told me about these places, she’d come home complaining about all the disgusting guys she had to work with who’d have these ditzy girls working for them that was nothing but a pair of breasts for all the work they did. You know the hot receptionist cliché? Places like this are cashing in on that, basically renting out the fantasy so creepy businessmen can live it a while before sending them back.”

“Do they… are they prostituting themselves?”

Kate shrugged, “I’m sure some do, to make a bit extra. Mostly though they just go wherever they’re requested, look pretty, bat their eyelashes, and allow whoever it is to drool and fantasize over them until the contract is up. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging the girls, it’s not the worst way to make money by a long shot. For the men who pay for it though it’s just plain sad.”

“Weird… so our thief basically gets sent straight to every rich untitled prick in the city and gains a reasonable excuse to be sniffing around his workplace?”

“Huh… that’s actually brilliant.”

As the tour continues below, Yelena eventually made her move.

“Hey so I’m like, totally on board with this whole thing, but I just have one concern…”

The guide smiled, “Well allow me to put your mind at ease! What’re you thinking?”

“Well what if one of the clients gets like, obsessed with us or something? They could try and track us down, and while I’m pretty handy with a purse, Jess here can barely walk home by herself without having a panic attack.”

Jessica shot her a look, “I do not—“

“Jessi there’s no need to be embarrassed! No one’s judging here, it’s okay to be scared.” Yelena emphasized her words, urging the brunette to play along.

Although it seemed to physically pain her, Jessica did her best to put on a doe eyed expression, “Shes… right. I just get so scared you know? I mean look at me! What am I supposed to do if someone tries to grab me?”

The woman hummed sympathetically, “That sounds rough dear. You know a lot of our girls carpool, I’m sure if you ask you can work something out with that. As for over enthusiastic clientele, please rest assured all of your information will be kept safe in a our secure server,” she gestured over to a nearby door. “You can even enter contracts with a pseudonym of it makes you feel better?”

“Won’t that seem suspicious?” Jess asked.

“Trust me girl, our clientele will one hundred percent believe that your parents named you Candy Sweet. It’s pretty concerning honestly… Why don’t we move on, I’ll introduce you to our star employee! She’s so good about taking new hires under her wing…” She glanced around with a frown, “Has anyone seen Hardy?”

As their guide searched, Yelena whispered to her mic, “Did you catch that?”

“Server room, on our way!” Kate confirmed as she followed Peter through the shaft.

They quickly found the grate that led into the server room. Peter looked back, ”I’ll go down there and download the records, you keep watch.”

“Why do I have to stay in the vent?” She questioned.

“If I get caught, it’s just Spider-Man being a menace, if you get caught you could be arrested.”

“Right, I really need to start remembering that. Well here,” she pulled out an arrow from her quiver she handed it up, “Use this!”

He took the USB tipped arrow with a confused look, “You just had this?”

“Don’t blame me man, Clint insisted I always keep one, and until now I always thought it was weird. Guess he knew what he was talking about.”

Shrugging, Peter turned and carefully ripped open the grate, silently apologizing to whatever repairman would have to clean up after him.

He hit the floor silently and quickly got to work, plugging the arrow into the server and noting the download status bar that lit up on the side. Nifty.

Kate’s voice crackled in his ear, “Alright I can see the outside of the door and—oh shit someone just went in, Peter!”

The hero turned, a little spooked at the lack of noise his intruder made, but quickly forgot about it as he got a full look at her.

Peter was surrounded by beautiful women almost constantly these days. Kate was tall, with piercing blue eyes and striking looks that wonderfully accented her athletic frame. Yelena’s sculpted face and hazel eyes fit perfectly with her deadly mix of graceful power and deadly curves wrapped up in a five foot four body.

This woman was a different kind of beauty. This woman was sex personified. Standing comfortably beside Peter in terms of height, she looked like she had walked straight out of a swimsuit catalogue. Every curve was perfectly proportioned, every muscle tone but thin. Her face was no exception, large green eyes, a button nose, and thick pouty lips all added up to a tantalizing allure. It was only enhanced by her long platinum blonde hair she had in a smooth ponytail.

Unlike her coworkers, her outfit was a bit more sensible, being a long sleeved black dress with white floral print, though Peter idly imagined she could make make a potato sack look good, Marilyn Monroe style.

He was so caught up in staring at her he forgot to ask her not to scream. Luckily for him she didn’t seem inclined to. She had been staring right back at him when he turned around, and after a moments consideration, closed the door behind her quietly. “Well well well, it seems a bug has snuck it’s way in. I wonder what it was looking for.”

Peter shivered inadvertently, as even her voice had a slow sensual air in its delivery, before he put his hands up in a calming gesture, though the woman didn’t seem the least bit perturbed by his presence. “This isn’t what it looks like!”

Her head tilted, “You aren’t downloading our company records on that weird looking data stick?”

He faltered, “Uh… well okay I guess it is what it looks like… but I promise it’s not for anything sinister! It’s official… uh… superhero business.

A sinful smirk appeared, and despite the vast difference in power level between them, Peter suddenly felt cornered. “Well I know it’s nothing sinister, you’re Spider-Man after all! Everyone knows you’re the good guy.”

He chuckled weakly, “Well not everyone…”

“You can’t count the weak minded,” she said flippantly, “Actions speak louder than words. Im actually a bit of a fan, to think the one day I chose not to wear my spider themed underwear…”

Peter laughed nervously , “Good one! Can you imagine if they actually made those!”

“Oh I can.”

He blinked, “Wait are you—“

“Superhero business though? Should I be worried?” She cut him off. He divided it would be less nerve wracking to believe the underwear comment was a joke.

“Of course not! Why would you be?”

“Well if a superhero is investigating the place where you work, it usually ends with finding a new place to work.”

“Ah, we’ll no need to worry about that, I have *ahem* No interest in the work
You do here.”

“Awww, really?” She took several deliberate steps forward, “No interest at all?”

“Huh? Oh! Sorry I didn’t mean— I mean you’re all very nice and pretty and all but that’s just… not what I’m here for…” he trailed off as she stopped less than a foot away from him.

“I see.” She grinned, before trailing a hand up to rest on his spider symbol, “So what are you here for Spider-Man?”

Before he could panic even further, he was centered by the quiet beeping of the USB arrow, which apparently had finished downloading.

He slipped away and grabbed it in one smooth motion, circling around the woman to give himself more wiggle room, “I… probably shouldn’t say, cause I wouldn’t want to tip the person off, but for what it’s worth I’m pretty sure you’ll be fine.”

Her eyes lit up , “Oh! Are you going after one of our clients? Please tell me it’s Jeffrey Irons.”

He paused, “Who?”

“He’s one of the guy I’m currently contracted with, pays big bucks but such a scumbag! He tried to grope me like five times even though it’s stated clearly in our agreement that it’s not allowed!”

Peter frowned, “I don’t actually know who it is, but that shouldn’t be happening to you. Can’t you call the police?”

“They aren’t as understanding of my career as you are. Half the time they assume I was asking for it.”

“What the hell? I’m sorry to hear that. I wish there was something I could do…”

“Too bad you don’t have a service number huh?”

For a moment, he actually considered offering his Spidey number then and there, realizing at the last second what a bad idea it was. “Yeah sorry. And Hey, thanks a lot for not, you know, calling the police on me.”

“Don’t mention it.” She held out a hand, which he cautiously shook, “Until we meet again Spider.”

“Right… uh wait! What’s your name, if you don’t mind me asking?”

She giggled, amused at his question, and something told him it was the most genuine thing he’d gotten from her throughout the entire interaction, “I don’t mind. I’m Felicia. Bye now.”

He waved awkwardly, murmuring mostly to himself, “Bye Felicia…”

With that she turned to exit the room, unknowingly dragging his gaze along with her, until she finally closed the door.

“Hey Pete, done staring or do I need to come help you pick your jaw up?”

He started as Kate’s voice sounded in his ear once more, “I wasn’t— who was staring? Ha ha…”

“Mhmm, well that’s shame cause I was definitely watching from the vents. I believe she has what those in the south would refer to as ‘a redonkadonk badonkadonk’.”

“…I feel like the whole sentence was tainted by ‘watching from the vents’. Has a sort of serial killer vibe to it.”

“Oof, you’re right. Oh well. Are you coming back up or are you gonna run after you’re not-so-secret admirer?”

He leapt into the vent to find her giving him a knowing grin, “What do you mean?”

“What do you mean what do I mean? She was all over you!”

“What! No! She was just excited to meet a superhero.”

“She was definitely excited…”

“Whatever!” he laughed, “Lead us out will you? I think it’s my turn to enjoy the view.”

She did so, though not before adding, “If you wanted me on my hands and knees you only had to ask.”

“You’re very cute, but I think I might need start searching for the off-button after today.”

“Good luck, though you’ll find I consist mostly of on-buttons.”

They eventually found their way back to the roof hatch and traveled to the rendezvous point, where they found an amused Yelena poking at an increasingly grumpy looking Jessica, apparently trying to ascertain how ticklish she was. She paused when she saw them approaching. “The data?”

Kate held up the arrow in victory, “Easily! Also Peter got hit on.”

“Of course he did.” Jessica groaned.

“Ah I see stealth failed so you turned to seduction to fulfill the mission.” Yelena nodded, “There is no shame in it.”

“I didn’t seduce anyone and the girl wasn’t hitting on me, she was just excited to meet Spider-Man.”

“Sure. You were staring at her ass though.”

“So were you!”

“Alright can we put a pause on the horned up three stooges routine for a second,” Jessica exclaimed, “Let’s go see what’s on there so I can get back to drinking!” With that she turned and started heading towards the street, where to was unclear.

“Did something happen?” Peter wondered aloud.

Yelena nodded, “Before we escaped orientation we were introduced to our would-be coworkers. They had a lot of… fashion advice for her.”

“Ouch.”

They followed Jessica back to her own office, which looked about exactly like where they’d imagined Jessica working and living, before plugging the arrow into her laptop.

“Alright let’s see here,” Jessica murmured as they peered over her shoulders, “Pulling up the ‘victims’ files within the dates of the robberies… and there it is. They all hired the same girl.”

“No way…” Kate said in amusement as she read the name.

“No way…” Peter sighed in disappointment as he read the name.

Yelena blinked, “Sorry, do you two already know this Felicia Hardy?”

Chapter Text

“You literally had her right in front of you and you let her get away?!” Jessica fumed.

“How was I supposed to know who she was?” Peter defended, “And she didn’t exactly scream ‘I’m a burglar’ to me! She looked so innocent!”

They were still situated around Jessica’s office, the news of the thief’s identify still being processed.

“You mean her tits looked innocent. God, big freaking hero, still a fucking guy—“

“Hey don’t be sexist!” Kate exclaimed, “She had me distracted too! You didn’t see her, I’m pretty sure her hotness transcends sexuality…”

“You’ve been a horny mess since the moment I’ve met you, you think I’m gonna take your word for it?”

“Jessica…” Yelena’s voice sounded with an air of warning.

The irate investigator flinched ever so slightly before crossing her arms and slumping in her desk chair, “Fine whatever. I guess you couldn’t have known for sure.”

“All is not lost,” Yelena continued, she leaned over Jessica’s shoulder to pull up Felicia Hardy’s information, “We know where she is currently contracted, we just have to narrow down who her next target is and go from there.”

“How is she contracted with three different places at once?” Kate wondered as they examined the list.

“She is casting a wide net.” Yelena hummed, “Increasing her chances to find someone who fits her criteria.”

“So what, we just investigate them each until we find out which one she’s gonna hit?” Jessica asked, “That could take days! Why don’t we just find out where she lives and—“

“We don’t have actual evidence that it was her!” Kate protested, “We can’t just go busting down the door of anyone we want!”

“Why not?”

“Morals, laws, the debt we’d be in after people start suing us?”

“You literally just broke into her workplace!”

“Breaking into her workplace is not the same as going to where she sleeps Jessica!” Peter sighed, before he blinked, “Jeffrey Irons.”

The three women peered at him quizzically so he explained, “When I was talking to her she mentioned that name, said he was a gross jerk. Is he in any of the companies listed?”

Jessica was typing it in before he finished asking, “Cross referencing… ah! Holy shit the guy even looks like a jackass… but if this is the mark why would she tell you?”

“It could be a trap.” Yelena mused, “Lure him in to spring an ambush. As far as she knows Spider-Man is her only pursuer. Maybe she thinks she can take him.”

“Or…” Kate began teasingly.

“It’s not a date.” Peter groaned. “I mean it’s pretty obvious she was just faking the whole ‘biggest fan’ spiel to throw me off right?

“Come on! Where’s your sense of romance?”

“Reserved specifically for my girlfriends,” he deadpanned, “Who I have no interest in cheating on.”

“We need a game plan here .” Jessica interjected. “If it is a trap, are we gonna spring it?”

“Seems like our best option.” Peter shrugged, “Pretty sure I’m the only one she’ll be expecting, so we can probably turn the tables on whatever she may have planned.”

“Alright then,” Jessica got up, before writing something down on a paper for him, “We’ll meet up at this address after sun down and see if she shows up. See you then.”

They looked at her, “Are you kicking us out?” Kate asked.

“Yep, it’s going to be a long night, I’m gonna take a nap, maybe have another drink to help things along. You remember the way out.” With that she exited the office to her bedroom.

Yelena sighed, “I need to work on her people skills.”

“You’re serious about being friends with her after this?” Kate asked.

“Of course, she’s quite amusing when she’s not being rude, though I do admire her boldness, it is very Russian.”

“You just want someone to drink with.” Peter accused.

“So badly.” Yelena nodded, “No offense but you are sadly immune and while you are very funny when drunk Kate Bishop you are a painfully bad at handling your liquor.”

The younger girl pouted, “Harsh… but fair.”

They let themselves out and agreed to meet up again at the stake out. Before they left however, Yelena’s phone went off, and her partners were treated to a rare look of giddy excitement from the blonde.

“What’s got you so happy?” Peter asked with an amused grin.

“Shuri has delivered the final piece of the outfit.”

“Wait Shuri made part of it?” Kate asked, “Should we be expecting a jet pack or…”

Yelena giggled a bit at, her voice cracking adorably in the process, “No Kate Bishop, it will be much cooler!”

“Well you better go get it then.” Peter laughed, “I can’t wait to see it!”

He had to call after her as in her excitement she had began walking away without a word. At the sound of his voice however she seemed to realize what she’d done and turned around, hurrying back to grab both of their hands, planting a quick kiss on the back of each, “I go now! See you tonight!”

They watched her go with amused expressions. Peter held up his hand curiously, “I’ve never had my hand kissed before.”

“Really? How’d you like it?”

“It was weird but… a nice weird.”

“Well then,” she took his hand and performed an elaborate curtsy as she laid a delicate kiss upon his knuckles, “I shall bid you adieu Sir Spider. I’m guessing you’re gonna swing around a bit longer?”

He was thankful the mask was covering his bashfulness at the overly formal gesture, “Yeah probably. I spent all day sleuthing instead of actually helping so it doesn’t really feel that productive.” He took her hand as well and performed his own exaggerated bow, fondly recalling their first date as he returned the kiss, “Until tonight my lady.”

The rest of the afternoon went with without much incident. It was actually more reminiscent of his early days: less crime fighting, more friendly neighborhood. He helped a few lost tourists, posed for a few pictures (did not get tipped. Go figure) and just helped anyone and everyone who needed it.

After a morning of Jessica Jones’ dark and gritty persona, it was like a nice wholesome balm for the soul.

Soon though, a full moon rose as night began to approach, and he made his way to the meetup, situated on a rooftop across the street from Irons’ apartment building, the street widened even more by the elevated railway running down the middle. He found Kate already there, setting up a little nest for herself to settle in and keep watch from.

“Are we the first ones here?” He asked as he landed.

“Jessica was here a while ago.” Kate shrugged, “She decided to take positions in the buildings lobby, in case Hardy decides to switch things up on her approach.”

“Smart. And Yelena?”

“I am around.”

Peter startled before realizing it was just his earpiece, which he has forgotten to take out after the temp agency, “Uh, where?”

“Just around. I am working on my stealth in conjunction with tiger powers and bright white costume. Do not worry, I will be there when it is time. Do try to spot me beforehand however, it will be good practice.”

“Uh huh…” he looked at Kate, “She’s just waiting for a cool entrance isn’t she?”

“Big time.” Kate snickered.

“I can still hear you.” Yelena reminded them, “I am not some dramatic poser.”

“What’s wrong with dramatic posing?” Peter responded with faux hurt in his tone.

She was silent for a moment before she hummed, “Nothing I suppose…”

Several hours passed by after that, filled with mostly aimless chatter as Peter swung around, watching the building from every angle and trying to remain unseen. He wasn’t sure how well he was doing but he knew it was worse than Yelena. There were a few times when he thought he had seen a flash of white but it either disappeared before he could get a closer look or turned out to be pigeons.

There’s nothing more embarrassing than Spider-Man chasing pigeons.

Eventually however, their boredom was ended as trouble came a’knocking.

“Peter! I have eyes on someone running over the rooftops and I don’t think it’s you or Yelena.”

Peter was changing directions in an instant, “You sure it’s her? I have seen normal people do parkour in this city…”

“Have you seen them do hundred foot jumps across the street?”

“That… is usually just me.” He agreed, “On my way, I’m gonna try and talk to her.”

“Is he serious?” Jessica spoke up on the line, “Kid she’s somehow got her hands on a super suit and is robbing people left and right. You really think she’s so uncommitted that an inspirational speech is gonna end her life of crime?”

“Maybe?” He offered weakly, “It’s better than going in guns blazing! Let’s at least give her a chance…”

“Fucking simp…”

“I’m surprised you even know what that word means.” Kate needled defensively, “But seriously Peter, be careful?”

“I will.” He promised as he finally got a look at Felicia.

It was definitely her, he could tell that right away from the unmistakable mane of platinum blonde hair that she let free to whip behind her. As she sped towards her targets building. Peter took note of her metallic black catsuit, accented with tufts of bright white fur at her wrists, ankles and neckline. Whether it was for warmth or fashion he wasn’t sure, but she made it work either way.

As he got closer, he had hoped to land in front of her and cut her off, but he was foiled as she apparently heard his approach. She glanced up to look directly at him, revealing a domino mask with clear lenses covering her emerald eyes, as well as striking black lipstick to compliment the rest of her black and white ensemble. To top it off was a choker with a silver cat head trinket dangling from the middle. She smiled like she was happy to see him, and with a wink, raised her arm towards the top of the building.

To his shock, Peter saw a grappling hook shoot out of the top of her forearm with all the power he packed in his own web shooters. It was at the top of the building in moments, and as he soared down on her, she gave him a finger wiggling wave and swept into the air herself.

He hit the rooftop with a roll and cursed quietly before speaking up, “Heads up guys, she’s a lot more mobile than we thought.”

“Sounds like a job for Spider-Man.” Jessica urged.

“Way ahead of you.” He muttered as he leapt back into action, shooting his own line to heave himself after her. Unfortunately, his webs didn’t pull him in like her hook did, so by the time he had sprinted up the building after her, she had already cut a hole in the window with what appeared to be retractable diamond cat claws attached to her gloves. Now that he was closer, he could tell that though the suit added barely any perceivable mass, it was definitely armored. It also rang with the whirr of magnetic servo motors, quieted to the point that only his super hearing picked up on it.

He perched inside the hole as she stood a few feet inside, stretching her her arms above her head, “Looks like someone’s been watching too many cartoons. You a Puss in Boots fan? Please tell me your code name is Kitty Softpaws.”

She laughed, a rich, velvety sound, before turning to look at him, “I think the bigger concern is a grown man knowing so much Shrek lore.”

He pointed a finger, “Aha! You admit you know what I’m talking about.”

She grinned and held up her hands, “Guilty. Looks like you caught me Spider, whatever will you do with me?”

He stepped down inside the apartment, “Well I’d like this to end without anyone getting hurt. What do you say you turn in the stuff you already stole, abandon your life of crime, and everyone walks away free and without a scratch?”

She smirked, “Just like that? You’d let me go free after all of the dastardly crimes I’ve already committed?”

He shrugged, “So far most of your victims seemed like dicks. Not a justification but it at least tells me you’re a good person on the inside.”

“Mmm how perceptive. You have me all figured out do you?”

He took a step forward, “Felicia please, I may be grasping at straws, but you practically told me where you’d be tonight. You’re seriously telling me that it wasn’t for a reason?”

“Maybe I was just curious.” She turned and began wandering the room, picking up a few interesting trinkets with an appraising look, “I mean it’s not every day the amazing Spider-Man comes looking for you.”

“Amazing’s a bit much. I prefer friendly neighborhood.”

“You don’t really stick to one neighborhood though do you?” She said turning to appraise him.

He shrugged, “I never specify which neighborhood.”

She put down a porcelain statue and walked towards him, “You swing around all of Manhattan looking for trouble, fighting off bullies, helping random strangers…” she stopped once again a few feet from him, though he did his best not to let it bother him this time, “I guess I’m just wondering why.”

He blinked, “Why do I do it? It’s the right thing—“

“Don’t give me that!” He was taken aback as a snarl appeared on her face, unusually ugly amidst all her beauty, “People don’t act good to be good. They act good to get what they want, so what is it huh? Fame? Adoration? Obsessed fan girls giving letting you in their bedroom windows whenever you—“

“No!” He spat in disgust, “Why would you—I would never do that!”

“Then why?”

“Because I can!”

She stepped back, an affronted look on her face, “What?”

“Because I can Felicia. I can save and help people in ways no one else is capable of. I do it because what justifiable excuse do I have not to?l”

She stared at him with wide eye before a spiteful laugh slipped out. “Unbelievable.”

“What are you—“

She swept away and gestured to the apartment around her, “What do you see here Spider?”

He answered cautiously, unsure where she was headed, “Someone’s living —“

“Wrong. This isn’t just someone’s home. This is a crime scene.” At the confused narrowing of his lenses she cut him off before he could speak, “It was a crime scene before I got here! This man is a predator, who drugs and lures women to his apartment to this place to act out any sick desire he wants, taking videos all the while.”

Peter felt his throat clench as that news sunk in, “Okay… I don’t believe you’re lying, but where is the evidence?”

“Right now? On an encrypted file on his office computer. The arrogant bastard thinks he’s so untouchable that he peruses it during work. I saw it when he left for a break one day, he must have misclicked when he went to close it. Bad luck on his part.” The way she said the last bit rang with some private joke that Peter wasn’t a part of.

“Alright, then why don’t we go retrieve the file and send it to the police?”

“Oh they’ll get it,” she assured him, “I uploaded a program to send the evidence to the police and everyone he calls friend or family. Two days after tonight of course. His life will be over.”

“Why?” He asked.

“Because I want to see the look on his face!” She spat, “First when he finds out he’s been robbed and nobody can do anything about it, and then when he realizes he’s been caught, that he can’t do whatever he wants and get away with it!” She seethed for a moment before taking a breath to collect herself as she glared at him, “That’s why they do it you know. All these men who have ‘power’. They do it ‘because they can’. That’s all the excuse they ever need!”

Peter began tensing up as her anger rose, feeling the situation slip from his grasp, “Not everyone is like that Felicia, you have to know that.”

She huffed, “Not everyone is stupid enough to get caught. I know that.” She crouched down, staring at Peter not unlike a cat ready to pounce, “This what I do Spider. I show them what real power is, then I watch them squirm like the pathetic little rodents they are. Now tell me: are you going to try and stop me?”

His jaw clenched, “You don’t have to do this Felicia…”

“It’s Black Cat to you Spider,” she hissed, though for a moment she almost looked resentful, “And yes, I do.”

Before he could say anything else, she was flying at him, arms outstretched with claws ready to dig into his face.

So of course, he dodged, before watching stunned as she flew straight out the hole in the window.

“Felicia!” He exclaimed before jumping out after her, diving through the air to catch her flailing form.

However, he quickly realized he had fallen for a ruse. The moment he caught up with her and tried to grab her, white hot pain slashed across his cheek as she lashed out, leaving him clutching his face in shock as she expertly aimed her grappling hook and shot herself to a nearby rooftop.

Peter was a bit slowed to recover, and in fact only saved himself from hitting the pavement at the last second when Kate and Yelena screamed his name over the earpiece. He shook off his disorientation and shot out a line, barely grazing the sidewalk as he swung back up.

“Thanks,” he huffed out as he gained altitude and began searching for the Cat m, “I lost her anyone have eyes?”

“I was a bit distracted by you almost dying.” Kate admitted , clearly shaken by the sound of her voice.

“I have her,” Jessica reported, “She’s headed northeast, and fast, nimble little bitch…”

“I am also on her trail.” Yelena added, “Hope for her sake that Jessica gets to her first.”

“It’s just a scratch Yelena.” He winced out, already feeling his mask grow heavy with blood. “No need to kill her.”

“Maybe just rough her up a bit.” Kate suggested.

“Kate!”

“She sliced up your handsome face!” The archer insisted, “That’s got to be worth at least, like, three taser arrows…”

“Or a spear through the gut….” Yelena murmured.

Peter swung faster to catch up.

He arrived to find that that Jessica had gotten there first, likely thanks to her super jumps. However her strength didn’t seem to be doing much to help her as Black Cat danced around her. Jessica seemed to fight with all the grace of a drunken brawler, which had little effect against the thief, who darted in an out with unnatural speed, taking swipes with her claws that elicited an angrier cry from Jessica each time.

Talking had obviously failed, so he didn’t say a word as he fell towards them, shooting out a glob of webbing mid air that seemed to keep her still for a moment as he landed next to Jessica.

“You brought another girl to our date?” She gritted as she struggled against her restraints, “Kind of a dick move don’t you think.”

He pointed at his face angrily, “And what do you call this?”

She shrugged, “A strange man in a mask tried to grab me. What else was I supposed to do?” With a determined yell, she used her claws to shred her way out of her webbing.

Peter and Jessica readied for another round, but before Black Cat could pounce, a familiar Vibranium tipped spear shot through the air, slicing a small gash in the cat burglars side.

Letting out a frustrated hiss, Felicia turned to see her new opponent, only to pause along with the others as they took her in.

Yelena stood on a rooftop above, silhouetted by the full moon, quiet fury emanating from her form as she glared down at Felicia with her hands curled into claws by her side. Her outfit was similar to how it used to be, in that it covered most of her form and fit snugly over her body. It was still mostly white, with a black utility belt fitted with the red Tiger amulet like a belt buckle. Now however she donned a black-bodied vest that conformed to her far more than any other ballistic vest Peter had seen or heard of. It was littered with pockets and white slashing stripes climbing in rows up along her rib cage, which contrasted nicely with the newly added black stripes that littered the white material of her arms and legs.

The main event however was higher up. Her hair was tied in a high, free flowing ponytail that billowed behind her, though that was only secondary to the white mask she wore. It covered the upper half of her face, and included what appeared to be a thin pair of tactical goggles that could swing up and down depending on necessity, though rested on top of her head they unmistakably resembled a pair of white cat ears.

The mask itself held the roaring likeness of a tigers upper face, with the iconic canines pointing down om either side of her lips. Even more impressive was what appeared to be a metallic face paint that traced the line of her jaw and added lower canines, giving the impression of a tigers full face with her mouth residing in its open jaw. She also had black marks streaking across her cheeks and down to her neck, as well as patterned dots trailing down from her lips to her chin that reminded Peter heavily of some Wakandan face paint he had seen during the battle for earth, answering the question of what Shuri’s contribution was to the ensemble.

What really pulled it together however, was her glowing yellow eyes that beaded down on Black Cat with the intensity of an angry goddess.

Black Cat was the first to react, though the only one to do so with a scoff, “Unoriginal much? Sorry hon but the Cat theme is already taken!”

Then, Yelena smiled, and maybe it was the elongated canines, or the weird echo effect of her voice but even Peter was a bit intimidated when she answered, “Do not worry little Pussycat, I am one of kind.”

Felicia huffed, “What did you— who the hell do you think you are?! Her claws extended to their full length as she fully turned to face the newcomer.

“Someone with bigger claws.” To illustrate her point, Yelena’s red energy claws crackled into being.

Then, as if that wasn’t scary enough, the enormous image of a white tigers face temporarily flared into life behind her, given greater depth by the light of the moon, and a thundering, echoing roar resounded across the Manhattan skyline.

Felicia only had time to let out a squeaking sound before she had to leap backwards to avoid Yelena, who slammed her claws into the the spot he’d prey previously resided, cratering the point of impact as her claws sunk in.

Peter and Jessica stared a moment in wonder, “Did you know she could do that?” The investigator asked.

“Nope…”

“I think I want to be friends with her now.”

Peter didn’t respond as he darted back in to the melee, if it could even be called that anymore. It really consisted more of Yelena taking deadly swipes at the younger girl who barely managed to avoid them each time, though judging by the white strands of hair floating to the ground, it was becoming closer by then second.

At the sight of Spider-Man about to enter the fray again, Felicia’s eyes went wide as she realized her situation. As she stumbled back once more, she frantically reached up to grab a hold of the cat head pendant dangling from her choker.

Peter blinked in shock as he went to fire a web, only for a small grinding noise to come out instead. “What the hell?”

His web shooter had jammed. His web shooters never jammed! Even before Tony helped him upgrade that had been a point of pride for him! Their main problem had always been low capacity for web fluid.

For her part, Black Cat took his stunned shock as the slim opportunity it was. As another swipe from Yelena resulted in a thin line of blood across her chin, she threw down a pellet that exploded into a cloud of thick smoke.

Once it finally dissipated, she was nowhere to be seen, at least to Peter and Jessica.

Yelena had her ear goggles down and scanning the alleys below, the lenses glowing a foreboding red rather than green as she scanned for heat signatures. “She’s headed south.”

“Any chance you could lead her back to me?” Kate asked over the ear piece, “Hate to be a drag here but I’m a bit slower with rooftop hopping than you guys…”

“Get ready with a taser shot,” Peter responded, “Her suit will probably deflect anything else, how good a shot do you need?”

“Just get her where I can see her babe, I’ll take care of the rest.”

“Got it.” He looked to Yelena and Jessica, “I’ll take left.”

“Right.” Jessica called before leaping into the air.

“I will keep her moving from behind,” Yelena growled out, before crouching down to leap into the shadows of the alley. Before she could how we, she was presented with her own spear, though the top was retracted putting it in staff form.

“Please try not to kill her,” Peter emphasized, “Shes not evil, just really bitter… and scared.”

Yelena took the offered took before splitting them into batons, “Very well, I already got her back for the face after all.”

Peter couldn’t resist a snort as he followed her in the pursuit, idly switching his jammed web cartridge out before jumping into the air.

As they followed the feline however, Peter began to notice a strange set of happenings. Jessica’s landings began to be less stable, as either her footing was off or whatever she landed on turned out to be less stable than expected.

He kept having to reshoot his webs as whatever he attached to crumbled away and left him flying through the air. The only one who wasn’t being slowed down was Yelena, though Peter assumed that was more of a skill issue than anything else. No matter how fast she ran, Yelena remained an increasingly shrinking distance behind Black Cat, lighting the proverbial fire under her shapely behind.

Soon however, they managed to corral her towards Kates position, chasing her until she leapt across the street, landing on the railway, unconcerned of the oncoming train as she crossed the track in a single bound.

A lot of things happened then. Kates voice sounded that she was taking the shot. A moment later Peter saw the arrow streaking towards Felicia.

Unfortunately, Felicia noticed it as well, and as time seemed to slow down for him, Peter watched as she reached for her neck once more and grabbed on to the cat trinket.

At that moment, a harsh breeze appeared out of nowhere, pushing the arrow far off course, missing Black Cat entirely and instead slamming directly into the front of the train, sending electricity coursing all through the main controls.

“Oh shit.” Kates voice was small as sparks flew from the car and the train began to visibly pick up speed.

“You’ve got to be kidding me!” Peter exclaimed. He had leapt on to the other side of the rains and glanced at Felicia, who was watching the train go with wide eyes as well. She glanced over at him and he saw an overwhelming amount of guilt, though why he wasn’t exactly sure.

With a shake of his head he left Felicia stand there and swing off after the train.

“New plan, I’m going after the train.” He announced.

“But what about—“

“If you want to keep chasing her you be my guest Jessica!” He snapped as he swung faster and faster, “But this thing doesn’t look like it’ll slow down anytime soon. People could be hurt.”

“…fine, but I’m not exactly fast enough to catch that thing. You’re on your own kid.”

“I will try my best to catch up but I am worried I am also too slow,” Yelena spoke up in a regretful tone.

“I’m sorry Peter I didn’t mean—“

“It’s alright Kate.” He assured the frantic girl, “I don’t think this was on you. Something funky is going on…”

He soon made it to the speeding locomotive, landing on the roof of the rear car before slipping inside through the hatch.

His sudden arrival was met with a mixture of startled screams and relieved cheering as people desperately clung to everything nailed down.

He waved and reassured them that everything would be fine before making his way forward, giving a similar speech to each car as he sprinted past the frightened citizens.

He quickly made it to the lead car, breaking the door open as he entered the cabin, startling the operator who appeared to be in the middle of pressing every button he could find.

“The brakes aren’t working?” He asked, getting straight to the point.

“Nothings working!” The man shouted in a panic, “Except the damn accelerator! What the hell hit us?”

Peter winced, “Stray pigeon?”

“What?!”

“Doesn’t matter. Listen close: I need you to make your way back and get everyone as far back on the train as you can, fit them all in the very back of you can!”

“What about the train?”

“I’ll stop it.” He promised the man, “Now go!”

The operator nodded before stumbling his way back. That left Peter alone to freak out as he had know idea whatsoever on how to stop the train.

Before he could spiral too much however, he heard a thump on the roof of the train car and relief flooded him as he realized Yelena had caught up somehow.

At least he thought she had. Instead of his much wiser girlfriend however, it was Felicia who dropped down to join him, panting heavily as she must have pushed herself to the limit with the help of her grappling hook.

As he tensed up she through her hands up in surrender, “I’m here to help! Or try to at least. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for this to happen!”

He didn’t fully trust her but it wasn’t like he had time for he’d to convince him. As it was her throwing her hands up had given him an idea. “Those claws are pretty sharp right?”

She blinked, “Uh… yeah?”

“Think you can cut the rest of the cars off from this one?”

Her eyes lit up in realization. “I’ll try!”

“Please do!” He urged, turning to see if he could rewire anything or dismantle the right part.

After a few minutes of frantic attempts, he decided the metal beast was possessed and nothing would dissuade it from the violent path if had chosen to follow. He rushed back to check on Felicia’s progress, which was not bad to be fair. She had sliced away most of the connections, but the main coupling was giving her trouble. He found her hacking at it repeatedly, only having made it halfway through.

“Move over!” He told her, which she complied with easily enough. He wedged himself between the two cars and pushed with his legs to separate the two. He cried out as the coupling creaked in protest, and he was pretty sure he had a baby or two before it finally gave way, allowing the cars to begin to slow down as he picked himself back up.

“I’d jump over now if I were you.” Hs told Felicia.

She looked down at his aching form in confusion, “You’re not coming?”

“The lead car isn’t slowing down. If I don’t stop it it’ll eventually hit something. Unless you have a way of slowing it down?”

She huffed in exasperation, “Well no but do you?”

He heaved himself back to his feat and shook himself off, “Maybe. Seriously though, go.”

“What are you going to do?!”

“Whatever it takes!” He snapped, causing her to step back a bit, “And it will be a lot easier if I don’t have to worry about you while I do so. So would you please get off the damn train?”

He watched as stubbornness grew in her features, “No.”

“Oh for the love of—“ he cut himself off before he could carried away by his anger, “Fine, you can borrow this,” he slipped off a web-shooter and handed into her, “We’re going to climb on to the sides of the train and web up the wheels. Hold it like this and press down with two fingers.” He quickly demonstrated for her.

She raised a nervous eyebrow, “Is that going to work?”

“It worked on the rhinos!” Was all he said before swinging himself around to the side of the train, before letting out a curse and flattering himself to narrowly avoided an oncoming railway marker.

He sighed and allowed himself to grumble a few unkind words as he began shooting the wheels of the train. At first most of the webs got snapped immediately, but as he kept it up the wheels began to form a layer to cover them. That added a new rumble to the already rocky ride.

As the train began to actually slow, he knew that Felicia was doing the same on the other side, but it wasn’t enough. Especially since he could see another train running far ahead, that would more than likely need to stop sometime soon.

He climbed over to the other side, where Felicia was hooked on the side of the train, firing the web-shooter desperately. She looked up at him with frightened eyes, “You see it too huh?”

“I have a plan!” He told her, before holding out a hand, “Do you trust me?”

It was kind of a stupid question, but to his surprise, she hesitantly took his hand without question.

He shot her a wink, “Wrong choice.”

Before she could respond, he slung her into the air behind them simultaneously webbing her to the a nearby street lamp so she was left dangling safely above the street yelling furiously after him, though he couldn’t hear it over the wind.

He had a nice little vindictive chuckle to himself, before quickly sobering and centering himself, “This is going to suck.”

He climbed to the back of the train once more and steeled himself for what was to come, “God I’m glad I sprung for the reinforced soles…”

With grunt, he swing himself down and stuck his feet into the ground, gritting his teeth as board after board from the tracks broke against them and the pain nearly overwhelmed him in an instant.

Still he held on to the back of the train, planting his feet harder and harder to the ground and flexing his weird stick to everything power as best he could. After several moments (hours?) of agony, he nearly cried in relief as the train began to slow considerably

Once it was slow enough that he didn’t fear flying off the instant he let go, he began using his web-shooter to attach lines from the back of the train to the sides of the tracks, one after another. A few snapped immediately, but enough held on and eventually the train came to a full stop.

Still not risking it, he emptied the rest of the web cartridge making more connections and gunking up the wheels as best as he could. When he finally ran out, he slowly released his grip, and cried out in relief as the train didn’t budge. He let himself collapse back on the tracks, his body too tired to do much else.

He wasn’t sure exactly how long he laid there for, but apparently it was long enough for Felicia to cut herself free and catch up with him, as soon his lovely view of the night sky was obstructed by her glaring down at him, “You’re a jerk.”

He points a finger at the slash mark on his mask, “Takes one to know one.”

“Touché… sorry.”

He wheezed out a laugh, “What for? Not that you shouldn’t be, I’m just wondering which part.”

“…The train.”

“How was that your fault?”

She brought her hand up to finger the cat trinket, “I can cause bad luck for the people around me with this. I was just trying to use it to escape but… it’s never done something that catastrophic before. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt.”

He cackled, “I knew it! You’re a big old softy!”

He was treated to a light blush, “I still slashed your face up…”

“Yeah but that’ll heal up by tomorrow, probably won’t even scar. As for your little bad luck charm, my luck is already kind of supernaturally bad in its own right, so it was probably some kind of resonance effect.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

“You’re the one with the magic luck necklace.”

She had no comeback for that, but as the moments passed she frowned down at him. “Are you planning on getting up anytime soon?”

“Nope.”

“Why not? You that tired?”

“I think my feet are broken.”

She winced before sighing in resignation, “I got you.”

When Yelena and Jessica finally caught up with them, it was to see Black Cat trudging dutifully along the tracks towards them, a rather limp Spider-Man riding on her back.

“Put him down!” Yelena growled once they were close enough, causing Felicia to stop in her tracks.

“It’s cool!” Peter groaned out, “Were all good! She’s just givin’ me a ride.”

Still glaring at Felicia, Yelena stalked forward and carefully extricated Peter from her grasp, gathering him in her arms bridal style.

“Hey ‘Lena…”

“Hello Милый.”

“We stopped the train.”

“I see that, I’m proud of you.”

He gave a happily little sigh before letting his head rest comfortably on he’d shoulder, “My feet hurt…”

“I’m sorry, why don’t you try and rest, I will take care of you now.”

“‘Kay…” his lenses narrows and before long he was breathing deeply as he fell asleep.

Felicia watched the whole interaction with wide eyes while Jessica watched her with suspicious ones. “Wait… are you two—“

“That is none of your concern сукa!” Yelena hissed, clutching the sleeping hero protectively to her chest.

“Yeah worry more about yourself.” Jessica added, “Are you going to come quietly now or do we have to come after you again without Jiminy Spider here to play the good conscience.”

Felicia sighed, looking at Spiderman with a conflicted look on her face. “I’ll… come with you.”

The two women blinked at her in surprise, “Really?”

“I… yeah. I at least owe him a thank you when he wakes up.”

“And you need to hand over the items from my client.” Jessica emphasized, “Keep the rest for all I care, I just need to get paid.”

Felicia looked at her in confusion, “You weren’t planning on turning me in?”

“I was hired to do a job. Nothing more. I’m not a hero kid, just an extremely capable investigator.

“As for me…” Yelena spoke up, “I would like to gut you for the trouble you have caused.”

The Cat gulped as she shriveled under the Tigers gaze, but Yelena’s relented, “However I will leave your fate up to Spider-Man and Hawkeye. I am aware my first instincts aren’t always the best course of action.

It was a bit of a long trek back to Kate, though it was made much shorter when she met them halfway with a cab ready to pick them up. It was a bit of a tight fit cramming four in the back, though they made it work by splaying Peter across three of their laps with Jessica sitting up front.

Kate spoke with a tremor in her voice as she stroked Peters head in her lap, though the mask remained on, “Thank you for helping with the train .”

Felicia, who had been crammed in the middle so that Yelena could care for Peters wounded feet (and so she couldn’t escape), shifted uncomfortably at the words. “It Uh.. if wasn’t your fault.”

“What?”

After she explained her luck charm, she was made even more uncomfortable as Kate actually cried in relief, the guilt having had destroyed her until then.

The cab had been given instructions to Felicia’s own penthouse apartment, at Jessica’s urging, even though Kate and Yelena l were eager to get Peter home to rest, they couldn’t exactly take Felicia with them and she needed to be dealt with.

If the cab driver had any problem with three chicks in costume toting a passed out Spider-Msn in his backseat, he didn’t say anything about it.

The moment they arrived at Felicia’s rather luxurious apartment, Jessica had her hand over the items before saying her farewells.

“Are you sure you must leave so soon?” Yelena asked.

“I need to get this to the guy before he decides working for a convict isn’t worth the trouble anymore,” she responded, “But hey… feel free to hit me up for that drink anytime. I’m… kind of looking forward to it.”

Yelena smiled at her, which was less terrifying without the glowing eyes, though her mask still intimidated, “I am as well. Until then Jess.”

‘Jess’ rolled her eyes at the informality bit let it slide. Before she left she took one more look at Peter, “Tell the kid… I’m sorry for being a jerk, but like, genuinely this time. He’s still an idiot but… he’s a damn good man too.”

“I will let him know.

With that settled, it was just Kate, Yelena, and Felicia standing awkwardly in her apartment as Peter snored on the overly expensive couch.

“So… I guess sorry isn’t going to cut it huh?” Felicia sighed.

“Probably not no.” Kate agreed.

“Peter Time!” Peter yelled as he sat up on the couch, slightly delirious, “Where am I? Why do my feet— Ah! Yep those are still broken…”

“Welcome back.” Yelena greeted him in amusement.

“Who’s Peter?” Felicia asked.

“No one.” Kate answered a little too quickly.

“Who said Peter I didn’t here anyone say Peter.” Peter said.

Yelena sighed as Felicia narrowed her eyes, “Right…”

“Seriously though where are we?” Peter asked.

“My place.” Felicia answered. “I guess… you get to decide my fate now.”

Peter blinked owlishly, “Oh… that’s pretty heavy for a guy who just woke up. Sure we can’t nap a little more first?”

“Spider-Man.” Yelena chided, though if doubted weird using his hero name.

“Yeah I know.” He sighed, sitting up strait to look at Felicia seriously. “So, you stole a bunch of stuff. That’s bad.”

She shrugged, “Yeah…”

“But you stole from bad people. Doesn’t make it legal, but to be honest vigilantism isn’t exactly legal either so who am i to judge?”

Hope began to dawn in her eyes as she agreed, “Yeah!”

“But then you attacked me and almost got a lot of people hurt with your recklessness.”

The hope died, “Right…”

“But then you helped me save them so that’s another—“

“Oh my god will you get to the point?” Kate exclaimed, surprising everyone by being the first to lose her patience. She covered her mouth a moment later, “Sorry! Im just… stressful night.”

“Sorry, you’re right.” Peter assured her, “The thing is… I’m not sure what to do here. If I were a cop it would be simple but I’m not. Way I see it no one’s getting hurt who doesn’t deserve it, which is probably an irresponsible assessment coming from a superhero but you know…” he hesitated before looking he’d dead in the eye, “Can you promise me, that you won’t steal from anyone innocent or risk getting innocent people hurt again?”

Felicia looked uncertain of what was happening, “Uh… yes? I promise.”

Peter looked at Kate and Yelena, “I mean that’s good enough for me. What do you guys think?”

“She did help with the train,” Kate admitted, “But she did hurt you… and made me miss my first shot in years…”

“Come now Kate Bishop do not let something so petty obscure your judgment.”

“You’re just fine because you already put a scratch on her face in return.”

“Well yes but I am hardly the example of healthy behavior.”

Kate fumed, “That’s… annoyingly accurate. Damn you and your realistic view of your own mentality.”

“My apologies.”

Kate took a deep breath, “I guess… I can forgive her. But we should still keep an eye on her.”

“Oh yes of course.” Yelena agreed, “Weekly reports, explanations for all her targets. The whole shebang as they say.“

Felicia frowned, “Hey I don’t know if—“

“Would you prefer jail?” Peter asked seriously.

“… I guess I could keep you guys updated. For a while at least, until you realize you don’t have to worry.”

“We shall be the judge of that.” Yelena told her.

“Then I guess that’s that.” Peter concluded.

“Seriously? You’re just not going to turn me in? Or take my stuff?”

“I mean what would be the point?” Kate asked, “though it wouldn’t hurt if you donated some of it to charity. You know even out the karmic balance for yourself.”

Felicia didn’t respond.

Peter cackled once more, “You already do don’t you?”

“No!” She flushed before their stared wore her down, “Okay fine I donate a bit to FEAST and the woman’s shelter but that’s only like a small portion!”

“You’re a good person! You’re a good person!” Peter sung mockingly

“Shut up!” Felicia snapped, fully red which contrasted greatly with her black and White coloring.

“You realize it’s only cuter that you get embarrassed by it right?” Kate grinned

“Cute?! What are you—“

“Do not worry Pussycat.” Yelena joined in, “Your secret is safe with us.”

“Stop calling me that!”

“Seriously though.” Peter cut in through all the rubbing, “If this is going to work I think we’ll need one more thing from you.”

Felicia frowned uncertainly, “Whats that?”

“Where did you get the suit?” At the alarmed look on her face he continued, “I’m not saying we’re gonna take it, unless you misuse it more than you already are… but if tech like that is easily accessible now I kinda want to be in the know.”

“It was not easily accessible.” Felicia assured him, “It cost me a small fortune and a lot of favors just to get an audience with the guy who made it.”

“Does that guy have a name?”

“As far as I know he just goes by the Tinkerer.”

Chapter Text

Peter let out a sigh of contentment,“You know… if this is what happens every time I wreck my body…”

He received a slap on calve for the words, “Do not get any ideas Peter Parker.”

“Yeah if you go around breaking stuff on purpose you’ll receive no sympathy from us.” Kate agreed, though neither of them stopped their work.

The three were set up in Kates bedroom, Peter laid blissfully back on her king sized bed as Kate and Yelena kneaded his, previously, horrendously injured feet.

“Yeah fair enough.” He sighed, eyes shut as they worked their magic on his tender soles. “It’s still nice. Does feel a bit weird getting pampered so much though.”

“What you’ve never been to a spa before or anything?” Kate asked.

“Kate Bishop, you must remember that not everyone can afford the same luxuries as you.” Yelena chided.

“I know!” Kate insisted, “But there are more affordable massage places out there, I’ve seen them on patrol!”

“They may be affordable but it’s kind of a risky endeavor.” Peter explained, “It’s hard to know if it’s a massage parlor or a ‘Massage Parlor’.”

“Ah, ew.” Kates nose wrinkled up at his meaning. “Well maybe we can all go to a nice one someday. Together.”

“Like a vacation?” Peter asked.

“Yeah!”

“I don’t know…”

“Oh come now,” Yelena huffed at him, “What is the worst that can happen?”

He peeked at her through one eye, “You really want me to answer that?”

“Maybe we start smaller?” Kate cut in, “At the very least we should get out of the house every now and then for something other than food or crime.”

“Got anything in mind?”

“Maybe… I’ll get back to you on it.”

Peter shifted himself into a more comfortable position, “Take your time. I’ll be here.”

“Maybe you should try bowling? I’ve always wanted to go bowling…”

Three heads turned to see a familiar princess watching closely from Kates computer monitor at her desk. “Shuri!”

“Hey.”

“How long have you been watching?!” Peter asked, uncertain how upset he should be.

“Eh, a while. Kate told me about it, asking about Wakandan massage techniques.”

Peter glanced at Kate, who nodded once. “Okay… and why are you watching?”

Shuri shrugged, “I like feet?”

“Gross.” Kate deadpanned.

“Don’t shame me. You’re the one who’s using a foot massage as a precursor to—“ she was cut off as Kate leapt over to turn off the monitor.

“Do we need to talk to her about boundaries?” Peter wondered aloud.

“Well the camera light isn’t still on so she at least knows how to take a hint.”

“She has a point though.” Yelena spoke up, idly pinching and pulling at Peters toes, “You do have very nice feet.”

“Uh thanks?” Peter huffed a laugh, “What exactly constitutes bad feet?”

“Poorly maintained toenails, weird growths, bad smells…”

“I mean I’ve smelled my own feet after patrol.”

“Yeah but it washes off,” Kate corrected as she jumped back on the bed, “Plus they’re not all hairy.”

“Yes I’ve been meaning to ask,” Yelena began move her fingers up and down Peters’s calves, “You shave regularly? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you anything but smooth. Even your face.”

Peter flushed with embarrassment. “Uh… no not really. Tony figured it out when he was testing all my biometrics to make sure I wasn’t slowly dying or secretly radioactive. Since the spider bit me right as my body was entering puberty…”

“No way…” Kate whispered in awe.

“Yeah…” he admitted reluctantly, “I don’t really grow hair like I’m supposed to. Luckily my scalp and arms were unaffected but otherwise—“

“Lucky!”

“Uh what?”

“Dude!” In a flash Kate had her leg up and her sweatpants pulled up to reveal her own smooth legs, “Do you know how much of a pain these puppies are? I have to shave every day to keep them this smooth.”

He frowned, “That sounds rough. But you know, I don’t really mind if—“

“We could guess that you wouldn’t mind.” Yelena cut him off with a gentle smile, “This is one of those girl things Peter Parker, it is more for us than for you.”

“Oh, sorry I didn’t realize.”

“Well that’s the point.” Kate assured him, “Though I’m still jealous…”

“It’s not all that great. I can’t grow a beard, or chest hair, sometimes it just… makes me feel a bit less you know?”

Kate frowned sympathetically, though Yelena simply continued her journey up Peters leg, until her hands were teasing the hem of his athletic shorts. “Tell me: does it affect… all parts of your body?”

His face turned and even deeper shade of red as he caught her meaning, “Well aside from my arms and head… yeah unfortunately.”

Kate snorted, “Unfortunately? Babe you do realize it looks better clean shaven don’t you?”

He blinked, “Really? I mean I know it looks a little bigger that way but—“

“Oh it’s definitely better,” Yelena purred, running her fingers back and forth along thigh, never venturing farther than the hem. “For a lot of reasons…”

“Wha-what uh, what kind of reasons?” He stammered out as Kaye leaned forward beside Kaye, hands trailing up his other thigh.

“Well we could show you… if you show us first.” As Kate kept his gaze, her voice turned husky and pointed leaving absolutely no confusion as to her intent.

That was a biggie. Not his… well it wasn’t bad but that wasn’t the problem. Kate had already given him a rather spectacular handjob several nights prior, but she had reached under his pants to do so. Actually baring himself completely…

“Do not look so serious about it!” Yelena muses, “It is not big deal. If you are not comfortable we can always go back to rubbing your feet instead…”

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was Kate and Yelena. He trusted them.

“You know, shockingly I’m going to have to go with the other option.”

“That must have been a tough decision.” Kate smirked as she reached up for his waistband.

“God did I struggle…”

He lifted his hips so his shorts could be pulled off easily, (and aggressively though he didn’t protest). He stopped them when they went for his boxer briefs. For some reason he felt it was vital to his dignity that he do it himself.

He slowly peeled them off, trying not to watch their reactions too obviously. Thankfully, their attention was focused lower down, and he took no small amount of joy at both of their eyes widening when he finally swung out, already excited from their attention.

“Ah, I stand corrected.” Yelena spoke first.

His joy plummeted as he raced to decipher her meaning, “About what?”

“I said it was no big deal. It is quite a large ‘deal’.”

Somehow it was just what he needed, the surprised laughter wiping away much of the nervousness that had been plaguing him up until then.

“Seriously how do you hide that thing in the suit.” Kate asked, eyeing it in fascination.

“Well I wear a cup because you know… I fight a lot, and also I don’t usually get erections while crime fighting. I like what I do but not that much you know?”

Kates hand reached out first, before hesitating as she looked at him for approval. The image of her looking up at him pleadingly was enough to make him twitch in anticipation as he nodded to her.

Turns out having been touched by her once already did nothing to dull the electric thrill it sent through him. A small gasp left him as he watched her slowly trail her fingers up and down his length.

Then, as if that weren’t exciting enough, she was joined by Yelena, who carefully wrapped two fingers around around his base, before proceeding to wiggle him back and forth with an increasingly amused expression.

“Having fun there?” Peter snickered.

“I have always wondered how you men do not constantly play with these things, they are so fun!”

“Well I’d be lying if I said we didn’t. Ow!” He yelped as Kate flicked the tip to watch it wag back and forth.

“Sorry!” She apologized quickly, “No one’s ever let me just play with it before… I got swept up…”

“It’s not a door jam…” he grumbled.

“Honestly Kate Bishop what are you thinking?” Yelena chastised before looking up to meet Peters eyes. “Do not fret Милый, I will kiss it better.”

“Wait wha-haaa!” He cried out softly as she leaned down and give him a quick peck on the head, before immediately engulfing it in her mouth.

“Wow you just got right in there.” Kate marveled. “Scoot over, let me taste!”

Yelena complied, shifting a bit so Kate could lean in, though she kept her mouth closed firmly over his head, applying constant suction as Kate slowly ran her tongue up and down the side.

Peter had his eyes shut tight as he struggled to process all the new (wonderful) sensations, “That’s-gah-that’s a lot at once.”

Yelena slipped off of him with a slick pop, “Shall we slow down then?”

He already missed the warmth of her mouth, “Uh… no… no keep going.”

He didn’t feel her mouth return, so he glanced up to see her staring at him with a sinister look, meanwhile Kate continued to happily lather him up from all sides with her tongue, “Is something w-wrong?” Even Kate’s attention alone was a lot to handle.

“How much do you want me to continue?”

He felt a pang of dread as he realized what she was doing, “Come on Yelena—“

“How much?” She repeated, unfazed by his whine of desperation.

“I… ngh… a lot okay?”

“Just a lot?”

Kates work was pleasurable to be sure, but as he looked down at her, eyeballing him as she slathered his shaft with her mouth, he saw the spark of mischief and knew she would go no further until Yelena got what she wanted.

“Please ‘Lena?” He pleaded, widening his eyes to appear as desperate as he felt, “Will you keep going?”

“With what?”

His face burned, “You know what…”

She leaned closer, shifting up so she could whisper to him, her breath hot on his cheeks, “I want to hear you say it Peter Parker. Be a naughty boy for me.”

He swallowed dryly, “Please… suck my…”

Kate pulled off him a moment, unbothered by the strand of saliva that still ran from her mouth to his shaft, “Cock? Dick? Disco stick?”

“Cock.” He chose a bit forcefully, the crude wording going against e wry polite none in his body, “I want you to suck my cock. Please.”

Yelena smiled sweetly then, the sadism fading away to be replaced with warm affection, “But of course! Why not just say so?”

He didn’t dare argue or call her out on her antics, instead leaning his head back to savor as she plunged back down, this time going a bit further past his head before pulling back up, quickly getting into a steady rhythm.

Yelena’s head bobbed up and down on him for several minutes, or possibly hours. Peters concept of time was getting a bit fuzzy. At first Kate had continued her assistance, now pressing her lips over as much of his shaft as she could, suckling shamelessly as she slid her mouth back in forth in conjunction with Yelena’s own efforts. As time went on however, Yelena’s head moved further and further down, until she was taking half of him with every movement, and Kate was forced to pull back to give her room.

She seemed content to enjoy the show, her hand reaching down to play with herself of its own volition as Yelena kept going lower. Once the blonde got three fourths of the way down though, she finally began to struggle a bit.

Yelena’s eyes turned to look at Kate, her mouth still stuffed as she hummed, “Mmhmmm mm hmm mmm?”

Peter had no idea what she said, but as the vibrations from her voice hit him he lost the ability to comprehend normal speech as well. Kate on the other hand smiled like had been perfectly coherent, “You want me to help you out?”

“Mm hmm.”

“Of course babe! Happy to help!”

Kates free hand went to palm the back of Yelena’s head, gently applying pressure as she went down again. Together they got a few more centimeters down before Yelena’s throat once again put up resistance.

Kate hummed thoughtfully, “I might have to be a bit more forceful. That okay?”

“Mmmmm.” Yelena moaned out, her eyes half lidded and needful.

Taking that as permission, Kate grabbed a handful of Yelena’s hair, before pulling her all the way up off of Peter, allowing her one deep inhalation before she shoved her right back down.

Peters moaned despite himself as Kate forced Yelena up and down by the hair, essentially jacking Peter off with their girlfriend’s face, proving her talent in multitasking once again as she fingered herself furiously all the while.

“That’s it… take it deeper. There you go… you love this don’t you? My pretty, slutty, little kitty…”

Every hissed word brought a new moan out of Yelena, which in turned caused even more pleasure for Peter, who was barely cognizant of what was going on beyond his cock. Yelena’s nose was finally smooshing into his groin with every smooth motion, and the hot, tight wetness of her throat was the only thing in his world anymore.

“Guys…” he still managed to groan out, “I’m gonna…”

“Here that?” Kate smiled to Yelena, pulling her all the way off of Peter to let her breath, though he nearly whimpered in protest, “He’s about to cum. What should we do about it?”

Yelena’s normally unshakable visage was well and truly shattered now, gazing at Kate with raging lust unburdened by rational thought. Rather than answer with words, the blonde simply opened her mouth wide and let her tongue hang out, drool sliding off in a truly indecent display.

The sight alone was enough to push Kate over the edge. She came, wetting her own fingers as she groaned, “Good kitty…”

Yelena was shoved down once more, taking all of Peter in one go easily now, before being dragged up and down viciously.

Kate, well and truly riding a power high, noticed Peter unnaturally still hips and growled: “Don’t hold back Peter. Fuck her throat, now.”

In far too deep to argue, Peters hips began moving immediately, jackknifing himself into Yelena’s mouth with manic energy.

The final stretch lasted less than a minute before Peter cried out with likely the most intense climax he had ever felt in his life.

His hips jerked over and over as Kate held Yelena against him, leaving no other option than to shoot himself directly into her throat, which in turn forced her to swallow, the roll of muscles creating even more pleasure until he worried he may pass out.

He held on however, eventually his hips stopped jerking as he had nothing left to give, and Kate slowly slid Yelena off his length once more, coughing and sputtering a bit but otherwise no worse for wear.

He didn’t know how long it took for the euphoric haze to lift from his mind, but when it did, all the events seemed to rush back to him at once, and he sat up in alarm, “Holy shit!”

Kate giggled at him while Yelena simply smirked a bit between deep shuddering breaths, “I know right? That was intense…”

“I didn’t even… Yelena are you okay? You’re not hurt are you?”

He received an amused expression, “My throat will be a bit sore but it is the good kind of hurt I think.”

“I-I’m sorry I didn’t know what—“

“I am fine.” She cut him off with a serious expression, “Do not freakout over this Peter, do you really believe if at any point I wanted to stop that I would not have stopped?”

“I… no.”

“Exactly,” she beamed, “Besides if anyones to blame it’s this one.” She sent Kate a playful glare.

The younger girl only shrugged with a sheepish grin, “I was caught up in the heat of passion?”

“Mhmm. You couldn’t have a bit less passionate with my hair?”

Kate winced before leaning over to lay kisses all over Yelena’s aching scalp, “Sorry…”

The blonde received them graciously before lifting her own hips up to begin removing her bottoms, “You can make it up to me by instructing Peter on the art of cunnilingus.” She turned to see Peter staring at her now nude lower half with fascination, making her smile, “Unless he’s too tired…”

Peter crawled forward to gently capture her face and pull her in for a deep kiss, impressing them both with his new level of initiative and complete disregard for his own genitals swinging semi erect below him.

He pulled back with a grin, “I’m game if you are.”

WakandaSmash?: so

WakandaSmash?: how was the foot massage?

DaddyLongLegs: I don’t get your new username…

LegoLass: yeah me neither

LegoLass: is it a Hulk reference?

WakandaSmash?: oh well you see…

PrettyKitty: give them time

PrettyKitty: they will get it eventually

WakandaSmash?: ugh fine

DaddyLongLegs: okay… moving on…

DaddyLongLegs: probably gonna regret this

DaddyLongLegs: but I must once again protest my own username

WakandaSmash?: state your case

DaddyLongLegs: I mean

DaddyLongLegs: where do I begin

LegoLass: for one his legs, while nice, are not that long.

DaddyLongLegs: not where I would have started

LegoLass: you know what I meannn

PrettyKitty: you are

PrettyKitty: as they say

PrettyKitty: a short king

DaddyShortLegs: thanks

DaddyShortLegs: oh no

WakandaSmash?: your welcome

PussyCat: Several questions

PussyCat: how did this group chat appear on my phone? I don’t even have this messaging app!

WakandaSmash?: that was me! Welcome!

LegoLass: Uhhh

LegoLass: is that who I think it is?

PrettyKitty: I convinced Shuri to add her

DaddyShortLegs: why????

DaddyShortLegs no offense @PussyCat

PussyCat: offense taken

PussyCat: I assume @PrettyKitty is the tiger lady

PrettyKitty: correct! Hiiii

PussyCat: this username is your doing isn’t it

PrettyKitty: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

DaddyShortLegs: does everyone know how to do that but me?

WakandaSmash?: yes

LegoLass: yes

PrettyKitty: yes

PussyCat: yes

PussyCat: wait why am I participating?

PussyCat: why am I here?

PrettyKitty: I thought it would be a nice way to get to know you and communicate about this Tinkerer fellow

PrettyKitty: and to constantly remind you that we’re watching :)

PussyCat: do I have a choice?

WakandaSmash?: you can always ignore us but you’ll find deleting the app and disabling notifications to be quite impossible :)

PussyCat: right…

PussyCat: and you are?

WakandaSmash?: Shuri of Wakanda! Princess and most intelligent person on earth.

PussyCat: that’s a bold claim

DaddyShortLegs: probably true tho

WakandaSmash?: wowwowow

WakandaSmash?: again with the flirting?

DaddyShortLegs: sigh

DaddyShortLegs: don’t listen to her Cat

DaddyShortLegs: she’s just messing around

WakandaSmash?: sure I am

PussyCat: I take it you’re Spider-Man?

DaddyShortLegs: that’s me!

PussyCat: great

PussyCat: now tell me

PussyCat: which one of these girls are you dating? I thought it was the Tiger but these messages are making me less certain…

PrettyKitty: it’s White tiger actually.

PussyCat: whatever

LegoLass: he’s dating me

PrettyKitty: and me.

PussyCat: ???

LegoLass: we’re also dating each other

PussyCat: you’re poly?

Daddy: yeah basically

Daddy: oh come on! Shuri!

WakandaSmash?: is it inaccurate?

LegoLass: no

PrettyKitty: no

PussyCat: Well now…

Daddy: I feel objectified.

Daddy: also maybe don’t tell anyone about us @PussyCat?

PussyCat: why?

Daddy: secret identity reasons

PussyCat: Ah

PussyCat: and do I get to know you’re secret identity?

Daddy: no

PussyCat: you know mine!

Daddy: sucks to suck

WakandaSmash?: give it time

WakandaSmash?: he real bad at keeping it secret

Daddy: that’s… not inaccurate. But still hurtful

WakandaSmash?: anywho

WakandaSmash?: don’t think you can get out of the question you guys

WakandaSmash: how was the foot massage

LegoLass: why you want to know so badly?

PrettyKitty: she did say she likes feet

PussyCat: wha

WakandaSmash?: you got me

Daddy: it was fine Shuri, I don’t know what else you’re expecting to hear.

WakandaSmash?: well a little Birdy told me

WakandaSmash?: that they had ulterior motives in mind

LegoLass: BETRAYAL!!!

PussyCat: what kind of ulterior motives?

Daddy: it’s really nothing

PrettyKitty: we rubbed his feet then performed fellatio

LegoLass: YELENA!

WakandaSmash?: 👀👀👀👀👀👀

Daddy: heavy sigh

PrettyKitty: well we did

PussyCat: you know what

PussyCat: I think I’m gonna like it here

PussyCat: I think I should be PrettyKitty though

PrettyKitty: you’ll have to kill me for it

Chapter Text

“I don’t know about this…” Peter said for the thirtieth time that day.

“Yeah Peter, that’s how trying new things works.” Kate laughed, as she dragged him along, “You don’t know about it, you try it, then you know.”

“Shouldn’t we be looking into the Tinkerer? That seems pretty important…”

“He is not going anywhere.” Yelena countered. “As far as hd knows we don’t know anything about him.”

“Yeah because we don’t!”

“Now you get it!”

Peter rolled his eyes at her ridiculousness, though he knew when a battle was lost, “What if I accidentally hurt someone?”

“You punch out bad guys without killing them all time,” Yelena pointed out, “You will be fine.”

“Oh yeah…”

“You should he more worried about me hurting someone. You never know when those assassin instincts will kick in…”

“Kate!”

“She’s joking! Probably. Besides we’re already here!”

The throuple had hiked a good ways through Central Park to find a massive congregation of people gathered in a the wooded area, all dressed in various qualities of medieval garments running every which way on some mission or other.

The entry to the event was marked with a hastily arranged sign up tent, manned by a very familiar blonde, who stared at them as they approached with growing disbelief.

“Hey Missy!” Kate waved excitedly.

“You actually came!” The LARP coordinator/YouTuber/sewing enthusiast exclaimed.

“I did!” Kate agreed with a giggle, “I was wondering if we could join the game today. None of us have really done this before but it seemed fun so…”

“Of course!” Missy beamed, “This is actually amazing, I mean we had such an explosion of new players after Clint joined so with you—“

“Wait wait wait!” Kate cut her off, “He did what now?”

Before Missy could respond, the sound of someone clearing her throat grabbed both of their attention.

Yelena maintained an air of nonchalance, but as Kate just looked at her, the blonde widened her eyes and darted them between Missy and them with a meaningful look.

“Oh!” Kate eventually caught on
“Right sorry. Missy this is my girlfriend Yelena and my boyfriend Peter!”

To her credit, Missy only needed three seconds to process the words before she smiled to them as well, “Awesome! It’s nice to meet you! I’m Missy!”

Peter chuckled awkwardly, “Yeah uh, we kinda know…”

“Oh right Kate just— that was silly—“

“How do you get your seams so tight?” Yelena blurted out, suddenly in front of her leaning over the sign up table.

Missy eyed the shorter blond e warily, before looking to Kate for assistance.

She only received an amused smile, “Yeah she’s kind of a fan.”

“Oh,” she spoke quietly, looking back at the intense woman, “You like to sew?”

“I’m learning. I’m finding myself enjoying the designing part more…”

That elicited a groan, “Oh my god I know right? Like I know I act all enthusiastic about it in my videos but the moment I’m done drawing a piece up it’s just straight dread of all the work to come.”

“What makes you keep going then?”

“Oh you know,” she sighed, “The feeling of satisfaction when it’s finally done, and I get to wear it or someone else gets to wear it.”

As they talked, Peter glanced around, observing all the LARPers and their various faux armaments.

He nudged Kate, “I think we might have forgotten something…”

Kate smirked, “Relax! Missy’s got us! Right Missy?”

Looking up from her conversation with Yelena, she seemed confused for a moment before brightening, “Oh yeah! Follow me! She turned to lead them into the tent behind her, though not before pausing to give Yelena a considering look, “Want to exchange numbers? I know we just met but I don’t often find someone as passionate scout this stuff as I am, and if Kate likes you…”

Yelena already had her phone out, “This is so cool! I can send you pictures of my new costume and other ideas yes?”

“Of course! Wait… costume? Do you cosplay?”

“Eh something like that.”

They exchanged info quickly before being led behind the curtain, revealing a veritable armory of fake gear and weaponry.

“Just pick out whatever you like!” Missy told them, “We try to keep a lot of options open to make it friendly to first timers.

“I’ll say,” Peter commented, “Who pays for all of this? Is there like a membership fee?”

“Well we do usually charge a ten dollar entrance fee…”

“What?” Kate gasped, already grabbing her wallet from her jacket pocket, “Missy why didn’t you say anything?”

“I can’t charge you!” She insisted, “You’re a superhero! Besides we let first timers in for free all the time, it’s so hard to get them otherwise. Also we recently acquired a… new sponsor.”

Looking at a sword behind the two, Peter shot a quizzical glance towards Yelena at Missy’s curious wording, though he only received a shrug in response.

Kate frowned uncertainly, “Are you sure? I don’t want to take advantage…”

“You’re definitely not!” Missy assured her, “And before I forget,” she turned to shift a few boxes around before pulling out a slightly cartoonish recurve bow, complete with a quiver full of heavily padded arrows, “I figured you might want to be a ranger.”

Kate took the gifts with a grin, “Well you may have guessed right…”

“Lame…” Yelena heckled, casually twirling a pair of plastic daggers.

“Yeah isn’t the point of this to be something you aren’t normally?” Peter added, hefting up a rather large tower shield with an exaggerated grunt, as if it weighed anything to him.

Kate rolled her eyes, “Why should I? I’m already pretty awesome, now I can be fantasy awesome!”

“We do have a few rules for archers.” Missy spoke up hesitantly, “One hit to the chest or back is a kill. Just like with blades. Nothing below or above the neck counts as a hit, and any shots to the face or groin will result in immediate expulsion from the game…”

“That’s a bit limiting dong you think?” Yelena commented.

“Yeah well it keeps us from getting sued. People can be real babies about this sort of thing. Sorry…”

“That’s fine,” Kate smirked, “I’m a pretty good shot.” Missy laughed giddily in response.

Soon they were all fitted out for battle. Kate had been given a light leather breastplate and a blue rangers cloak, the purpose of which was a bit fuzzy on a bright sunny day but it looked cool.

Peter had, predictably, gone for a classic knight ensemble. He wielded a heater shield and broadsword and wore a chest plate and bracers, feeling uncomfortable bearing too much gear. It was a stark transition from fighting in nothing but a onesie after all…

Yelena had seemed very tempted by the daggers, but in the end avoided hypocrisy and decided to be a Viking. She wielded a two handed axe and wore bracers, matching pauldrons and an armored skirt. That with her long braided hair created a very striking (and familiar) look.

When she first showed them, she narrowed her eyes at the snickers she received. “What is so funny? Do I look stupid?”

“No! You just kinda look like Astrid.” Peter explained with a chuckle.

“Who?”

“From How to Train Your Dragon.” Kate explained.

“Ah, that children’s movie yes? I have not seen it.”

Her partners stared at her in horrified silence, before nodding to each other. She would be properly educated later.

“Anyone want warpaint?” Missy asked, holding a bowl of red liquid out for them, “It’ll wash off in the shower.”

Peter declined while Kate streaked three fingers over each eye, creating a wild and slightly unhinged look. Yelena only frowned at it.

“What’s wrong?” Kate asked, “you used some for your other outfit.”

She hummed noncommittally, “That was a gift from Shuri. Apparently she has used nanotechnology to create instant makeup. It crawls down my face when I put the mask on and retreats back into its compartment as I take it off.”

“Whoa…” Peter marveled, “I didn’t even think of using nanotech like that! Did she say if she was gonna release it to the market?”

“I did not ask.”

In the end, Yelena decided to have Peter and Kate decorate her face themselves, which they agreed to with far too much enthusiasm.

One wouldn’t normally see a woman with a smiling sun mark on one cheek and a brazen kiss mark surrounded by a heart on the other as a threatening image. That would be one’s final mistake.

“Okay, we’re all ready… so what do we do now?” Kate asked.

Missy smiled, “Now you need a party. Todays game is mostly a free for all with five bases around the park. The idea is to claim a base, with your party, and defend it from all other challengers. You need at least four people to count as a party, though you can have as many as twelve people if you want.”

“Great, are you going to join us then?” Yelena asked.

The coordinated winced, “I wish I could, but I’ve got to man the tent. Don’t worry though, I’ve got just the person to take care of you guys.”

A few minutes later a familiar short haired woman jogged up, bearing far more professional looking gear and a wicked looking short sword. “Hey guys! Glad you could join us!”

“Wendy!” Kate greeted cheerfully.

Introductions were made quickly, ending with Peter asking how Wendy knew Kate.

“Oh I stole evidence from NYPD lockup for her.” She explained cheerfully.

Peter blinked in surprise, “So you’re an officer?”

“Well not anymore after I tampered with evidence…”

“No…” Kate covered her mouth as realization set in.

“Don’t worry!” Wendy assured her, “I’m fine! Me and my wife are doing great, I have a new job which I love. Honestly I wouldn’t have taken that kind of risk for you if I wasn’t already having doubts about the force. It isn’t exactly the friendliest work environment for a gay black woman you know?”

“I guess so… still I’m sorry to hear that, I should have considered what I was actually asking you to do…”

“Seriously don’t sweat it kiddo.” She insisted, a knowing smile growing on her face, “It opened up a much more… fulfilling opportunity for me. Now come on! I’ve been stuck trying to form the right team to take the Castle all day, and call me crazy but I think you guys may just be the ticket. Oh and one more thing: when we’re in the LARP zone, we do not break character. Seriously unless it’s an emergency we remain in role play, otherwise it ruins the experience for everyone else .”

“What exactly are we role playing?” Peter asked, “Is there a story or…”

“You’re a knight right?” Wendy asked.

“Yeah…”

“Then be a knight, fight honorably, be chivalrous. Just don’t start monologuing your backstory, nobody really cares.”

With that established they set out through the woods, and Wendy’s demeanor immediately changed. She stalked around with such intensity that Peter found himself searching for signs of danger.

“Eyes up comrades.” She spoke, voice heavy with a decent English accent, “I’ve heard tell of bandits stalking this path…”

“Perfect. Here I thought it’d be a dull journey.” Yelena gruffed, surprising even Wendy with her flawless Norwegian accent.

Peter considered trying an accent of his own, but decided he’d rather be boring than risk sounding cringy. His English accent was notoriously bad and the closest to Norwegian he’d done was his impression of Thor. Neither seemed the way to go.

Just as Wendy predicted, their jaunt through the forest was soon interrupted. It was actually quite a shock to Peter, who until then had been treating the game like… well… game. It wasn’t until a wild scream sounded from behind him, taking him completely off guard, that he realized his mistake.

Lucky for him, Kate was turned and ready in an instant, firing a foam arrow directly into the ‘bandits’ chest right before he could strike Peter from behind.

“Ambush!” Wendy declared, drawing her blade, “Ready yourselves!”

Peter hastily got his shield up as he faced the two dozen bandits that were emerging from the tree line. He should have realized his spider sense wouldn’t account for fake attacks. What he had assumed would be a literal walk through the park had suddenly become far more difficult.

“What happened to only a dozen on a team?” Kate whispered to Wendy.

“They’re bandits, they’re more of an obstacle than a party. Low skilled players who prefer griefing.”

“Ah,” Yelena nodded, having overheard, “The fodder come to test the true warriors eh?”

“This is the end for you heroes!” One of the bandits yelled. None joined in with anything more original before they began to charge, screaming bloody murder.

Yelena responded in kind, raising her axe and hollering a deafening war cry, that sounded suspiciously tiger-like to Peter, though he may have just been imagining it.

She immediately began tearing through their ranks, slamming their chests with her axe one after another while dancing through their attacks with deadly grace, every bit the warrior woman she ‘pretended’ to be. Wendy followed her into the fray with a cry of her own, showing impressive skill with her short sword as she covered Yelena’s back.

For his part, Peter backed closer to Kate, who the bandits immediately tried to swarm as she picked them off one at a time.

Unable to resist, he called out, “Fear not my Lady! None shall touch you whilst I stand!”

He immediately regretted those words as he was once again saved by Kate who winked at him as he flushed with embarrassment. He was actually helped out several times as the ‘fight’ went on as his main advantage in battle proved useless against non lethal attacks.

Sure when he was facing three guys he could see it was an easy win. He had to make it seem hard, but really his reflexes and speed were just too much for him to lose against them, both of which he could attribute to training and experience. The problem was the fourth guy who always appeared behind him trying to stab him in the back.

As the battle wrapped up, he held his shield up to block an overhead swing from the left only to curse mentally as a short girl with a katana swung low after him from the right. He deflected it with his sword, but the other attacker merely used his distraction to slip under his defense. If not for Yelena crashing in like a banshee, he definitely would have gotten hit.

Once they finished the final two off he gave her a nod of thanks, “Sorry about that…”

“You must improve you’re situational awareness,” she chided, and from the way she used her real voice, he could tell she wasn’t just talking about the LARP.

He relied too much on his danger sense. He’d known it for a while really, but ever since his transformation, his focus had been on regulating his senses to take in less information. He’d mastered that part, he hadn’t had a sensory overload in years after all, now though he realized he’d have to master something new.

He could have heard those bandits coming a mile away if he’d let himself. Hell he could have smelled them. It was definitely something he had to work on, his spider sense wouldn’t always be enough after all.

The bandits defeated, they were once again on the move, heading towards the ‘Castle’, or as it turned out to be: the playground.

Wendy gestured got them to crouch down in some bushes as they observed the area. Shockingly, there were only four people defending it. Two of which Peter recognized from Rockefeller: Grills and Orville, one lady with a spear she didn’t recognize, and one fully armored figure he couldn’t see the face of.

“We can see you Els-Bath,” the armored figure called out. The voice seemed to register something to Kate as her brows furrowed upon hearing it.

Wendy, or rather, Els-Bath, let out an aggrieved sigh as she rose from her position. “You will not win this time Jacques! I will have my revenge for all those you have slain!”

“Perhaps… over your dead body!”

There was a pause as everyone stopped to consider the misquoted line, until finally something clicked for Kate and she stood up to look at the knight in disbelief, “Jack?”

The knight paused, before reaching up to lift his helmet off, revealing the friendly mustached face of Kates almost-stepfather, Jacques “Jack” Duquesne.

Kate wasn’t sure whether to be happy if mortified, though the decision was made for her as he smiled wide at her, “Hello Sweetie!”

“—and my efficiency has doubled since he arrived! No tripled! Almost— I haven’t done the math on it it’s not relevant. Did I tell you he just nonchalantly suggested an entirely new method of PCR that halves the wait time and doubles the duplication efficiency? Pepper I wasn’t honestly sure if I would be able to crack this in the next decade but with Peters help… we may be looking at a year! Or two, probably best to lower expectations… why are you looking at me like that?”

Pepper had been forced to cover her mouth to stifle her laughter as her friend and colleague had blathered on for more than a half hour about her new intern. “Oh I’m just glad to see you so happy Cathy.”

The scientist adjusted her glasses uncertainly on the other side of the video screen, “Well of course I’m happy, we’re getting so much work done!”

“Mhmm,” she idly scrolled through Amazon on a separate screen, casually shopping as she chatted, “I’m sure that’s all it is. Absolutely nothing to do with your interns ‘excellent hygiene’ and ‘courteous demeanor’ right?”

Red lightly dusted Catherine’s cheeks, “I only mentioned that because they are valuable traits, both in any professional context and doubly so in a lab environment.”

“And his ‘charming smile’?”

Her old friend paled, “I didn’t say—“

“Oh yes you did. You know it’s nothing to be ashamed of Cathy, your still in your prime and you’ve spent so many years on your work, you deserve a little—“

“Do not finish that sentence!” Catherine exclaimed, “For goodness’ sake that’s not what’s going on! Besides he’s only eighteen!”

Pepper shrugged, “Sounds likes very mature and intelligent eighteen-year-old to me. Also you remember who I was married to right? You really think I’m one to judge on preference?”

“Pepper!”

“Alright!” The redhead surrendered, “I’ll drop it for now, but just bear in mind that we have no policy or contract agreement about workplace relationships.”

“…Noted. Not that it’ll ever be if use to me. Even if I did wish to pursue someone nearly half my age… he is dating a girl in my class.”

Pepper tsked I’m sympathy, “Crap. Sorry Cathy…”

“Why apologize? It’s no concern of mine who he dates.” The blonde huffed, very convincingly.

“Sure thing Cath…” Pepper trailed off as a strange suggestion popped op when she went to type in the search bar. “I’m gonna have to cut this short.”

“Is everything all right?”

“I’m… not sure. It seems one of my children has been researching something… not workplace appropriate.”

“Oh my— surely it’s not Morgan!”

“I doubt it. She’s still too young to care. I’ll talk to you again soon Cathy, and I look forward to hearing the results of your experiment.”

“Of course… good luck Pepper.”

“Thanks.” She smiled as she ended the call, before groaning and allowing her head to hit the keyboard, “I’m gonna need it.”

She took her time making her way to the backyard, where she knew her girls had been playing all morning. The conversation ahead was one she had thought she would avoid for at least ten more years if she played her cards right. Once again her late husbands actions had thrown her plans into disarray. Of course the frequency of which things went according to plan after he left did nothing to soothe her pain.

She found Morgan covering her eyes and counting to one hundred before a tree. “Hey baby!”

Her daughter, like her father in many ways and unlike him in many more, didn’t even peek through her fingers as she turned towards Peppers voice. She had always abhorred cheating, if always doing her best to follow the rules of the game, something Tony had teased her about endlessly, as he found new and interesting ways to cheat at everything, challenging Morgan to catch him.

“Hey mommy!” She cheered, “We’re playing hide and go seek, wanna join?”

“Maybe later sweetie,” she paused before adding, “You know… I think I spied FRIDAY sneaking into the house…”

The hand came down in an instant, revealing wide eyes, “She can’t do that! We said outside only!” With that she was sprinting towards the Cabin to scold her rule breaking sister.

Said sister curiously peeked around the tree that Morgan had been counting on, a rather comical image as she was controlling the bedazzled legionnaire once more. “Is something wrong Miss?”

Pepper sighed, “I’m not sure yet. Any chance you’ll give up Karen for me? I need to talk to her.

Rather than answer, FRIDAY simply stepped back from the tree, which began to shimmer and shift, before the camouflaged nano-swarm that has laid itself over the bark revealed its true forms coalescing to reform Karen, “Is something wrong Pepper?”

The single mom blinked, “Are you sure you’re not taking this game too seriously?”

“On the contrary, it’s Morgan that’s pushed us to this Ma’am.” FRIDAY responded, “She has your perceptiveness combined with her fathers intelligence. It’s a dangerous combination.”

“Don’t inknow it…” she sighed, “Anyways Karen I need to ask you something, in private.”

Karen tilted her head, “I don’t understand, have I done something wrong?”

“Not exactly, I just think you’d prefer we talk about this alone.”

Smiling beatifically, Karen shrugged, “I don’t believe that’s necessary, I have nothing to hide, least of all from my Sister.”

“That’s right, there’s nothing I could ever hear that would change my opinion of her.” FRIDAY agreed.

Pepper shifted uncomfortably, “You sure?”

“Of course!” They answered in unison.

“Alright then. Karen, I wanted to ask you why you were looking up sex toys on the computer.”

The artificial sisters stood deathly still for a few moments, until FRIDAY’s legionnaire made an unmistakable snorting sound despite not possessing anything close to a nose.

In an instant, a golden spider leg speared out of Karen towards the Legionnaire, which deftly sidestepped it as digital laugher came out of its speakers, “Not so slick today huh sister?”

“Kindly fuck off.” Was all Karen said, voice still customer friendly.

FRIDAY only laughed some more before rocketing into the air, “Have fun!”

At the sound of stifled laughter, Karen turned her attention to Pepper who raised her hands in surrender, “Sorry I’m not laughing at you! It’s just refreshing to see you and her act like actual sisters.”

“It’s normal for human sisters to try and impale one another?” Karen asked.

“Oh for sure.” Pepper smirked, “So… have anything to say?”

“…I was curious.”

“Well I figured that. Whatever you want to research is your business, not that I could stop you if I wanted to. The thing that’s concerning me is that you actually left evidence behind. Either you wanted me to find out and ask you about it or…”

Karen frowned, looking frustrated with herself more than anything else, “I didn’t mean for you to see. I was… distressed.”

“What is it this time?”

With a sigh Karen raised her hand to project a video screen in the air between them. On it was displayed CCT footage of a certain Web Slinger, which Pepper did her level best not to groan at.

“So you finally found another video of him? Did it shake anything or…” she paused as another figure stepped into the frame, clad in tight purple and wielding a bow.

“Is that the new Hawkeye?” She asked. She had fine her best to stay abreast of current events, should a new world ending threat come scoot it was best to be aware who was who. Apparently there were two new Captain America’s in the span of a week. “What is she—“

“They patrol together.” Karen explained tightly.

Pepper rolled her eyes, “Karen I’m sure that’s nothing—oh.” On the screen, the two heroes, presumably having just rescued someone or stopped some crooks, suddenly jumped at each other, Spider-Man’s mask was slid halfway up so he could hungrily make out with the young woman. “I… see. And this—“

“Wait for it.” Karen told her. Sure enough, a moment later another figure arrived on the scene, this one dressed in some sort of white cat costume, though she was obviously enhanced with the way she landed.

“I… don’t recognize her.” Pepper admitted.

“Me neither.” Karen said, bitterness evident in her synthetic voice

Pepper felt her face heat up as the new woman proceeded to join in on the make out session. “O-oh! Wow, okay. I think I get the picture, maybe turn it off now?”

The image blinked out of existence, and Pepper was left staring at Karen warily, “So… that bothers you huh?”

“It bothers me that I didn’t consider it before!” The android exclaimed.

“Huh?”

“Spider-Mans body is enhanced in almost every respect imaginable. I should have realized that his libido would also be affected!”

That was a lot to unpack, “Karen… while that video certainly had to do with libido, we don’t know what relationship they have beyond it. It’s not fair to… oh jeez… is that why you were searching for sex toys?”

Karen shifted uncertainly, “I do not currently have the tools necessary to relieve—“

“A bup bup bup!” Pepper desperately cut her off, “I don’t want the full details.” She loved Tony with all her heart but damn him for forcing her to give the Talk ten years early.

“I told you I wanted to be useful to him.” Karen spoke carefully.

Pepper had to go lean on nearby tree to ground herself as she formulated her response, “I didn’t think you meant turning yourself into a sex bot!”

“That is a crude oversimplification!” Pepper was both surprised and relieved as Karen’s tone turned defensive, “I am simply adding another tool to my arsenal.”

“And it’s a very powerful tool, don’t get me wrong, I’m just worried how your planning on using it, and why. Is it just to… ugh… ‘relieve’ him or is it a way to make sure he doesn’t abandon you again?”

As soon as the words left her mouth, Pepper regretted them, as Karen’s face turned from defensive anger to stunned shock. “Honey… I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I know what you meant…”

“I don’t think he abandoned you on purpose.”

“I know.”

“I’m just worried. You’re father was… rather loose with his body for many years. It brought him nothing but temporary bliss and a very skewed sense of romance that took me many years to fix,” she smiled as she managed to draw a laugh from the sullen girl, “I don’t know exactly how it works for you being what you are. But I’d like it if we can avoid you making any decisions you’ll regret.”

Karen nodded with a slight smile, “I understand. Thank you Pepper, I… appreciate the care you show for me.”

Pepper smirked and wrapped her arms around her, “I love you too sweetheart.”

Karen’s smile grew wider as she returned the hug. “Right…”

Soon they were walking together back to the house, no doubt to a very annoyed six year old. “You know, it’s not wrong to want to be useful. From the things I’ve seen you working on in that garage you’re definitely going to make his superhero life easier but if you’re looking for sometime more everyday… how about learning to cook?”

Karen thought on it for a moment, “I wonder how proficient I could be without taste buds…”

“Ah, right. Well… I’m still in contact with Dr. Helen Cho. Despite everything her work has been progressing steadily. If we ask nicely I’m sure she’d be able to help you in formulating something like a tongue. And if you’re still set on being… anatomically correct, we could ask about that too.”

“Thank you Pepper.

“Anytime hon. Oh and… if you have any questions about that stuff, please feel free to talk to me about it okay?”

“Alright… but you know I have access to all the knowledge of the internet right?”

“Yes, that’s what has me worried.“

Chapter Text

Kate stared at Jack in disbelief as he greeted her warmly. “Uhh… hey. What are you doing here?”

Jack gestured around happily, “LARPing! Isn’t it fun?”

It was fun, but that wasn’t really what Kate was wondering about. She hadn’t seen or spoken with Jack since Rockefeller, so it was rather jarring to suddenly be faced with him.

“Dude we’re still in game!” Orville hissed at him, swinging his morning star as he waited for the fighting to start.

Jack covered his mouth in embarrassment, “Sorry! Apologies friends!” He cleared his throat and lowered his helmet once more, “So, Els-Bath I see you have brought a new procession of dead men for me, how thoughtful!”

“Think again Jacques!” Wendy fired back, she held a hand up towards Kate, “I bring with me Katarina Bishop, finest archer in all the lands!”

“Oh I guess I’m Katarina now…” Kate mumbled before raising her bow in the air awkwardly, “Hey!”

Wendy gestured to Yelena next “Lenore Belova, fiercest shield maiden you’ll ever meet!”

Yelena raised her axe with one hand and addressed them matter-of-factly, “I will drink mead out of your hollow skulls.”

That took Wendy off guard a moment though she powered through, “Uh, right… and finally we have Sir Peter… a knight!”

Kate winced sympathetically as Peter slumped at the less exciting intro.

It didn’t help when Jack perked up, “A fellow knight eh? But what man of honor allows maidens to to shed blood?”

Peter blinked, “Uh… one that respects women? I would not presume to command them simply because of their gender!”

“Of course you don’t, a true knight shows respect to all who deserve it! However, he also avoids bloodshed whether possible, so I propose an deal: face me in a duel, win and my party shall surrender the Castle to you!”

Peter blinked, “Wait really?”

“Don’t fall for it!” Wendy hissed quietly, “He’s been doing this all day! He’s pretty much the best swordsman here!”

“But I mean… wouldn’t it be in character for me to accept?” He asked hesitantly. “You know, since I’m supposed to be a chivalrous knight?”

“He has a point…” Yelena commented.

“Well by that logic, being a sneaky ranger, I should do this!” In a fluid motion, Kate rose and fired off an arrow towards Jack, ready to end the encounter quickly. Unfortunately, he seemed to have expected that, and had his foam rapier out in a flash, batting her arrow out of the air with a flick of the wrist.

“I will allow that.” Jack called out, “But try it again and the offer shall be rescinded. Now what say you?”

Kate gave the others an apologetic look while Wendy just sighed, slipping back into her role, “It’s up to you lad.”

Peter considered it for a moment before standing up “I accept your challenge!”

“Wonderful!” Jack exclaimed, beckoning him forward, “Come forward, your companions may follow as well, on my honor they will not be harmed.”

They emerged from their spot behind the bushes, and the two parties gathered on either side of the two knights, watching as they faced off with one another.

“Shall we fight to surrender, or to the death?” Jack asked casually.

Peter looked back at Wendy, who only shrugged. “Uh… whatever comes first?”

“Alright,” Jack brandished his sword with an extravagant flourish, “En garde!”

Peter brought his sword up, just in time for it to be batted away. He jumped back to barely avoid the next swipe as the fight was on.

Kate watched the two battle with as much interest as she could, but truly her head was elsewhere. Seeing Jack again had brought up a lot of unhappy realities she had been avoiding. Like the fact that her mother was in jail. For murder.

And she hasn’t even gone to visit her since she had her arrested.

It was something she had been happily putting off for a number of reasons, particularly the unhappy note they had left on when her mother got arrested. The sheer disappointment in her eyes had nearly broken Kate, and if Clint hadn’t invited her back to spend Christmas with his family, she wasn’t sure if she would have handled it as well as she did.

A part of her knew she couldn’t avoid it forever, but the rest of her was perfectly happy living in denial and letting herself get swept away in the thrilling new relationship she had with Yelena and Peter.

As dread filled her and she realized what she would have to do soon, she was broken out if her thoughts by one of Jacks party members shouting in surprise.

She refocused to see that Peter’s chosen tactic in the fight was to retreat constantly. They had made their way all over the playground, and had just approached the see saw. Peter being Peter, had of course leapt on top of it, only for Jack to follow him fearlessly, the two balancing carefully as they went back and forth.

Peter ducked under a swipe, trying for a hit of his own, only to be deflected easily. It was very clear that despite having superior reflexes and speed, actually knowing real sword techniques was the deciding factor here.

Then, in a desperate instinctive move, Peter jumped over a strike, flipping in mid air. Normally Kate knew for a fact that he could have landed it without issue. Unfortunately, it seemed he realized midway just how suspicious it would be for some random guy hanging out with Hawkeye to be as agile as Spider-Man.

He crashed onto the see saw painfully, causing many of the onlookers to cry out and rush to check on him. While both of them knew he was barely injured, Kate and Yelena rushed in as well.

Jack was already there checking him over, “Are you all right my boy?”

Peter groaned, “Yeah… I’m gonna feel that tomorrow but I think I’m okay.”

“What were you thinking?” Yelena exclaimed. Kate did her best to look upset as well, though they both knew what had happened.

“As cool as it may be, flips aren’t usually conducive to effective swordplay.” Jack told him worriedly.

“Yeah I’m picking up on that,” Peter flushed, “I’m really sorry. I was in gymnastics for a lot of years and at the time it seemed like a good idea…”

Jack grabbed him by the forearm and hauled him easily to his feet, “Well as long as you’ve learned your lesson…” he paused to allow Peter to notice his rapier resting easily over his heart, “Do you surrender?”

The younger man stared at him for a moment before letting out a laugh, “I guess I have to!”

“Damn you Jaques!” Wendy groaned, “he just wiped out!”

“And I helped him up first!” Jack defended with a laugh, “All is fair in LARP and war my dear!”

The groans that elicited gave Kate pause, to which Wendy explained, “He made that joke weeks ago, we laughed and now he won’t stop saying it.”

“I guess we lose.” Peter said, shooting his party an apologetic look, “that’s my bad…”

“Ah but the game need not end!” Jack smiled, “If you’d like, you could join our ranks! After you swear fealty to me of course.”

Peter looked to his companions god input. Yelena shrugged, Wendy rolled her eyes but didn’t protest, and Kate chuckled, “I mean it’ll probably be more fun than walking all the way to another base.

“Fantastic!” Jack cheered, “Follow me Sir Peter, if you’ll allow it , I might be able to give you some pointers for that sword of yours.”

The rest of the afternoon passed a lot faster. As it turned out the Castle was a hotly contested position and they had plenty of challengers coming for the throne.

Obviously, none of them stood a chance, but it was a fun time nonetheless. Kate found herself posted on top of the tower (jungle gym) providing cover fire for her allies as they took on the hordes of enemies.

In between waves, Jack did indeed give Peter lessons on proper stance, form and technique fit the sword he wielded. He often got carried away talking about the historical significance of the broadsword but none seemed keen on stopping him. His cheerful demeanor kept the atmosphere light and pleasant all around.

To her frustration however, it wasn’t until late afternoon when the game finally ended, that she gathered the courage to approach Jack.

“Heyyyy…” she offered, standing patiently behind him as he meticulously removed his armor and placed it carefully in a fancy luggage case.

He seemed delighted at her presence, “Hello again swee— er… Kate. Sorry about earlier, it occurred to me you might not appreciate such informality…”

“Oh I wasn’t offended!” She assured him, “I know you meant nothing by ur, I just… was surprised that you would still be so happy to see me.”

He frowned, “Why-ever would I not?”

“Uh, my consistent hostility to you since we met? That time I tried to stab you in the face? The fact that my mom framed you for murder?”

“Ah,” he paused, “Yes I can see what you mean. Well I truly did understand your concerns when we first met. Your mother was suddenly engaged with no idea how it happened, I would be suspicious too. You said yourself that you knew I would deflect the strike back then and you were right of course, I was wrong to hold back to try and placate you. As for your mother…” he took a deep, centering breath before giving her a thin smile, “I have a rather exhausting family as well. I would be remiss not to treat you as an individual rather than blame you for your mothers flaws.”

Kate huffed out a humorless laugh, “Flaws, that’s one word for it…”

He seemed uncertain for a moment before continuing, “How is she, if I may ask?”

Kate winced, “I actually… haven’t been to see her yet.”

“Really?”

“I know!” She whimpered, “I’m a terrible daughter! It’s just after everything that happened—“

“Oh no no no!” He cut her off, “Kate I do not think less of you for it! To be honest, I am in the same goat.”

She blinked, “You mean boat?”

“Are you sure? I thought it was ‘in the same goat’ and ‘getting your boat’”

“It’s the opposite. Why would anyone be in a goat?”

“I don’t know, why would I care if someone got my goat? A boat is much more valuable!”

Kate shook her head, “Doesn’t matter. You’re saying you haven’t gone to see her either? That’s not so bad, I mean who could blame you?”

“I could.” He assured her, “I have… something very important to say to her. I cannot rest easy until it is said but every time I think of seeing her again… my heart begins to ache once more.”

Kate almost felt like crying for the man. “I don’t know if I said it before, but I’m really sorry Jack. You didn’t deserve anything that happened to you.”

He shrugged, “Ah, who knows what I deserved. I’m no perfect man, I’ve done things I’m not proud of. And I suppose some good did come out of the whole situation! That Wendy saw my enthusiasm with the blade and recommended I join this brilliant pastime!”

She giggled, “Yeah you seem to be having a lot of fun out here.”

“Oh I am!” He agreed, “Of course their equipment was in dire need of improvement, luckily I am in a financial position to provide.”

“You finally got that inheritance?”

“Better! I sold my wine collection! The look on little Armand’s face was priceless!”

Kate gawked she him, “That’s a lot just for some LARP gear isn’t it?”

“Well that is not all it went into…”

That was foreboding, “What do you mean?”

Jack grinned mischievously, “That, my dear, is a surprise, though one I hope you’ll be very impressed by. Would you consider meeting me in the city later tonight? I will be accompanied by Missy, Wendy and Orville, Grills normally would come but he has work…”

“Is this like a group hangout thing?”

“Something like that… you would do well to bring your bow. What do you say?”

Kate eyed him curiously, that last comment raising lots of flags though she couldn’t help but give in to the man’s pleading doe eyes, “Can I bring Peter and Yelena?”

He looked behind her to where her partners were still talking with the others, “We might find some trouble, are your friends prepared for that?”

Kaye actually snorted, “Yeah I think they’ll be okay. Yelena’s a total badass and Peter… well he’s a lot more reliable than he looks.”

“Well alright then, the more the merrier!” He agreed.

“Also they’re not my friends. We’re actually dating…”

His eyebrows shot up, “Oh… all three of you?”

“Yeah… they’re pretty great.”

He seemed uncertain at first but at that he smiled once more, “Well I’m happy to hear that. You deserve some good fortune after what happened.”

She beamed at him, “Thanks Jack! You do too.”

“Oh don’t worry, you’ll see tonight: I’ve made some of my own.”

Princess🍑: sigh

Princess🍑: sighhh

Peter: …

Princess🍑: heavy sighhhh

Peter: you alright there Shuri?

Princess🍑: I’m fine

Peter: uh huh

Princess🍑: Totally fine

Peter: great good to hear

Princess🍑: ITS JUST

Peter: here we go

Princess🍑: y’all went LARPing?!

Princess🍑: and you didn’t invite me?!

Princess🍑: the fuck?!

Peter: well A: it was pretty last minute

Peter: and B: you live on a different continent.

Peter: I feel like it’d be ruder if we did invite you

Princess🍑: we have really fast jets you know

Princess🍑: you could have been the coolest ones there by bringing a real Princess

Peter: you really would have flown across the globe for that?

Princess🍑: if you asked I would.

Staring at his phone, Peters mental gears grinded as he stared at that last message. He was sat on Yelena’s couch as the two were showering off and changing for the night ahead. He had washed at his own place and changed into a comfortable outfit, only to arrive to find them less than halfway done getting ready.

Peter: uh…

Princess🍑: Kate told me you played a knight

Princess🍑: you could have stormed the castle saved the princess

Princess🍑: earned her favor

Peter: …what kind of favor?

Princess🍑: you know what kind 😏

Peter stood from the couch, quicker than was at all necessary, as thrill and panic seized him.

Unsure of how else to proceed, he began making his way towards the bedroom, only for the door to open right before he could knock. It revealed an equally frazzled Kate.

“I need to tell you something!” They spoke at the same time, before looking at each other in stunned realization.

“No way…”

“Did she…”

“Okay for clarity’s sake,” Peter cleared his throat, “I’m pretty sure Shuri just hit on me. Same for you?”

“Yeah she was texting me and… that diabolical little—“

“What is all the ruckus?” The toweled head of Yelena poked out of the bathroom door.

They looked at her in trepidation as Kate answered, “We uh… we think Shuri might be… into us?”

“Ah you’ve finally realized? Thank goodness.” She disappeared back in the bathroom, closing the door.

They looked to one another before rushing to the bathroom door, “What do you mean finally?”

“I cannot hear you with door closed, come in.”

Kate obeyed, opening the door, only for them both to freeze as she revealed Yelena standing in front of the mirror tending to her hair, wearing nothing but a smile.

“Now what we’re you saying?” Yelena asked innocently,.

“I thought you would be decent.” Peter commented numbly.

Yelena looked down at her shapely bust and thick hips, “I believe I am a bit more than decent.”

Peters face twitched a few times before he forced himself to look away so he could focus, “This is serious!”

“You knew Shuri liked us?” Kate asked, going the opposite route to Peter and grabbing every eyeful she could.

Yelena sighed and put a hand in her hip, “She told me her intentions weeks ago.”

“What? Why?”

“Well presumably because she knew subtlety would be lost on me. I am far too perceptive after all. You two on the other hand…”

“She’s been doing it for weeks?” Kate processed.

Peter frowned, turning towards her with eyes closed, “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Well it would kind of defeat the purpose of flirting.” Yelena shrugged, “How the intended reacts to the attention is a good indication of how they feel in return. She was quite distressed with how you kept ignoring her advances but I assured her you were simply oblivious.”

“So… you were helping her?” Kate asked.

“I would not say that. I simply alerted her to the reality of the situation.”

“Did you… want her to succeed?”

Yelena hummed thoughtfully, “Shuri is a powerful ally, good company, and quite pleasant to look at. I told myself and her that I would wait for your opinions on it but truly… I believe I would enjoy furthering our relationship with her. As long as you two wanted it as well.”

“Yelena until a few minutes ago I didn’t think I was on the same planet as Shuri.” Peter exasperated, “I thought royalty could only marry other royalty!”

“I mean she’s still a person,” Kate corrected, “And I’m pretty sure that rule was only for medieval times, but yeah, I didn’t think it was an possibility either…”

“And why not?” Yelena challenged as she began working her hair into a new braid structure. “We’re all very attractive, strong, accomplished albeit in different ways… do you not have interest in her? If so I’m sure she’ll understand.”

Peter and Kate looked at each other (or Kate looked at Peter, as he still hadn’t opened his eyes for fear of losing his train of thought) .

“That’s a big decision to make on the fly…” Kate surmised.

“Then do not.” Yelena suggested, “Take the night to think about it. Though you might want to give her some kind of response, rather than leave her on Read the whole night.”

“Right…”

Peter: hey…

Princess🍑: hi

Peter: so…

Peter: Kate and I have just realized certain things…

Princess🍑: oh yeah?

Peter: about how you’ve been hitting on us?

Princess🍑: oh thank Bast

Princess🍑: I was worried I’d have to “accidentally” flash you in my nightgown again

Peter: that was on purpose?!?

Princess🍑: you think I normally wear material that thin to sleep?

Peter: I don’t know!

Peter: you live in Africa, I figured it gets hot…

Princess🍑: you’re adorable

Peter: …so here’s the thing though

Peter: we like

Peter: JUST realized what’s been going on

Peter: and sorry about that by the way it must have been frustrating

Princess🍑: eh, it was a fun challenge. I’ve never tried seducing three people over the phone before.

Peter: … yeah

Peter: thing is we’re just still processing it all.

Peter: would it be okay if we got back to you tomorrow? We just want to really think it through and make sure we’re all on the same page with how we feel…

Princess🍑: please do

Princess🍑: the fact that you haven’t already rejected me is very 👌👌👌

Peter: you really worried we would?

Princess🍑: well yeah, you’re kind of out of my league

Peter: no way! You’re out of my league!

Princess🍑: press x to doubt

Peter: you’re like the smartest person in the world!

Princess🍑: and you’re Spider-Man

Peter: I mean That’s not that impressive. Half the city calls me a menace you know

Princess🍑: 🙄 you really should come visit Wakanda again, our people have requested a new holiday in your honor

Peter: yeah right lmao

Peter: seriously though, we WILL have an answer for you tomorrow

Princess🍑: I’ll be waiting 😉

Mind blowing realizations aside, they still had plans for the night. Eventually Kate and Yelena were both fully clothed and they set out for the address Jack had given them.

Considering the fact that they had been told bringing weapons would be a good idea, many ideas had formed on what the nights activity would be, ranging from bar hopping to starting a gang war. It wouldn’t be the first time for any of them.

Still it came as a surprise when the arrived to see Missy, Wendy and Orville clad in the same outfits they had donned during the Rockefeller incident, though they seemed to be upgraded with far more protective padding, and they were all equipped with various gear and weaponry.

Most notable was a familiar sword, wielded by an equally familiar man in a sleek black outfit, purple lines trailing down his chest and arms.

Though he grinned from under a dark cowl with a purple fin on top for some reason, it was undoubtedly Jack Duquesne who waved a greeting at them as they approached

“Jack… what is this?” Kate asked, already dreading the answer.

“Not Jack my dear!” He corrected proudly, “Tonight, I go by the Swordsman! Accompanied by the LARP Legion!”

His companions raised their fists into the air, roaring proudly at the name.

Kate didn’t know whether to be impressed or worried.

Peter was already having a panic attack as he started at a new group of unpowered vigilantes.

Yelena wax cackling with unabashed delight.

Jacks proud demeanor momentarily fell away as he gestured to his costume, “I hope you don’t mind the colors, I took some inspiration from you…”

Kate forced a smile, “Ah… well at least you have good taste!”

Chapter Text

“What do you mean you’re not vigilantes?” Peter asked as the LARP Legion marched through the dark streets of Manhattan.

“Well vigilantism is illegal,” Wendy explained, shooting Kate an apologetic look, “Even if it’s helpful sometimes.”

Kate frowned, “Wait you mean I could be arrested at any moment?”

“Technically yes,” the former officer nodded, “But unless you piss off someone high up you’ll probably be fine. The NYPD has an unspoken truce with a few vigilantes like Daredevil and Spider-Man. Plus you have backing from a former Avenger which, to normal folks, is kind of like divine providence.”

“Huh, neat.”

“But how is what you guys do any different?” Peter pushed, “I mean you have all those weapons—“

“Actually I’m the only one who has gotten into a scuffle so far.” Jack, or rather, Swordsman explained. “And it is only in self defense!”

“We’re basically like a super well dressed neighborhood watch.” Missy added. “We keep batons, staffs, mace, and tasers in case Swordsman ever gets in too much trouble, but so far we’ve never had to use them. We don’t actually engage with ‘bad guys’ if we can help it.”

“Then what do you do if you find someone in trouble?”

Orville cleared his throat before holding up a heavy duty megaphone. With a smirk he pressed the button and a shockingly loud police siren sounded for a few seconds before letting off. “Most scum bags get sent running by that.”

“Our first action in any emergency situation is to call 911.” Wendy insisted “That’s really most of what we do besides help anyone who needs it. It’s kind of like aggressive community service.

“And what if things go wrong?” Yelena asked curiously, “What if a gang takes issue and comes at you with guns?”

“Ah well guns are not my expertise,” Swordsman readily admitted. “I defer to Bombshell on that.”

“Bombshell?” Kate questioned.

Wendy blushed, “It’s my code name. I still have a permit for concealed carrying, though I have yet to need to draw on anyone. Push comes to shove…” she reached into a pouch and pulled out a round object.

“Woah is that—“

“Smoke grenade!” She quickly assured them. “I also have flash grenades and tear gas. All rechnically legal to own, not so much to use as a citizen, so it’s definitely a last resort option.”

“Where did you get them?” Kate asked with interest, ignoring Peters look of concern.

“I was a demolition expert in the marines, did some time on bomb squad while on the force. I still got some connections who will bend the rules for me.” She put the grenade away once more.

“Huh… so you just… go around helping people without having to break the law in any way?” Peter asked faintly.

“Yeah pretty much.”

“Well I think that is very cool.” Yelena spoke ip as her partners had existential crises, “Not the most efficient method but still very good.”

“Thank you!” Jack grinned back at he before noticing Kates state of self evaluation, “Of course it is nothing in comparison to what you do Kate! Taking on the worst of the worst, seeking out the most dangerous parts of the city, I don’t think I have the stomach for it…”

“Oh well, I don’t think it’s really any better than this.” Kate argued faintly, “Honestly I’m starting to wonder why I skipped over this and went straight to putting arrows in people…”

Yelena wrapped an arm around her in assurance, “Oh Kate Bishop do not be ashamed. You went with what felt right for you .”

Kate winced, “Excessive violence?”

“It’s always been right for me.” A loud smacking kiss was planted on her cheek, causing her to flush as the others chuckled at the sight.

“So Swordsman, Bombshell…” Peter mused aloud, “Any other code names.

Missy stopped to pose dramatically, “You can call me the Mistress! Seeing how good I am with leather…”

“And I’m Battlebjorn!” Orville declared proudly, “Because it’s rad as hell.”

The night from there was probably the least eventful the three heroes had experienced in months. There were a few incidents where they came across some shady looking characters, but sure enough, all they had to do was sound the megaphone and they scattered like roaches. That meant they’d still be around to get into trouble later but Peter didn’t feel the need to bring that up.

The most exciting thing that happened was when the Legion found a lost dog poster. They immediately began drawing plans to split up and search the neighborhood, as apparently this was by far their favorite ‘mission’.

As Peter watched them prepare to split and search, he frowned as he noticed they were missing a vital ingredient, “Uh guys? Can I suggest something?”

One pet shop visit later they were all equipped with a new and powerful tool: doggy treat containers.

“I can’t believe we didn’t think of this sooner!” Orville exclaimed as they shook their treat containers while whistling and calling out the dogs name. “You must be some kind of genius.”

“I don’t know about that…” he laughed, “It’s just not my first time looking for lost pets.” He’d tracked down more than he cared to remember when he first started out.

“Don’t listen to him!” Kate called out as they explored an alley, “He actually is a genius. Like the mad scientist kind.”

“It’s only mad science when you don’t write down your results.” He defended, “I intern at a lab, that’s all.”

“That is still quite interesting!” Jack insisted, “Especially for someone your age! How old are you? Twenty?”

Peter sighed, “Eighteen.”

“Eighteen? Why when I was eighteen I was out and about partaking in every indulgence I could find, making an absolute fool of myself. You should be proud of yourself my boy, you’re on a much better path!”

“Oh come on, your path can’t have been that bad,” Kate countered, “I mean look at you now! Heart-wrenching experience with my mother aside…”

To his credit Jack only laughed it off, “Ah I suppose you’re right. We never know where our path is taking us.”

Before anyone else could comment, an excited bark sounded and the dog of the hour came running out from behind a dumpster, wagging with zero concern as the LARP Legion plus three gathered around to shower him with attention.

“Nice job Peter!”

“Yeah great work!”

“That was so much easier…”

Peter tried his best to accept the praise gracefully as he gathered the pup up on his arms, but it was such a strange change of pace. Sure Spider-Man got thanked all the time but Peter Parker rarely got to save the day.

So of course, the moment was immediately ruined.

One of the alley walls suddenly exploded, sending the gathered heroes to the ground from the shockwave.

“Goddamnit Jenkins! What the fuck was that for!”

“What do you mean? We needed out didn’t we?”

“We have the matter phase thingamashit! We literally could have walked right through it!”

“Jerry if you’re gonna give me a laser cannon, I’m gonna use the laser cannon.”

Peter fought through the ringing in his ears to focus on what had got them.

Standing in the hole that apparently led to a bank was two figures, clad in matching ski masked in wielding alarmingly high tech weaponry, like the previously mentioned laser cannon. Sleek oversized gauntlets coveted their hands and the material covering them looked nothing short of military grade. They also wore strange oversized backpack/battery pack apparatuses, the function of of was unsure of.

The one holding the offending weapon, presumably Jenkins, seemed to just notice his audience as Peter shifted to check on the dog, which he had thankfully shielded completely l from the blast , “Oh shit.”

“Halt right there vill… vill… oi vey…” Jack groaned as his attempt to literally stand up to the newcomers was thwarted by his dizziness and he fell to one knee, supporting himself with his sword and sheath.

Jenkins looked as companion, presumably Jerry, and shrugged, “Do we kill ‘em?”

“Why would we do that?”

“I don’t know! Look at how they’re dressed!”

“They’re barely standing. They’re probably just a bunch of freaks playing pretend. Let’s just—Ah!” He cried out as the piecing sound of police sirens.

All eyes, dazed or otherwise, turned to Orville, who suddenly looked contemplative of all his life choices.

“Can we kill then now?”

“Christ sake—just one and that’s it!”

Jenkins grin was striking even through his purple mask as he raised the sleek instrument once more.

Right as he pulled the trigger however, a purple fletched arrow appeared sticking out of the barrel.

“Fuck!” Jenkins yelled before chucking the weapon to the side. A moment later it exploded, taking a dumpster along with it

“Run!” Kate screamed, slinging her bow back over her shoulder once more and ushering the Legion to their feet.

Peter tried to help her only for her to point at him, “Protect the dog! We’ve got this.”

Peter stared at her in disbelief, “You want me to just leave?”

His answer came in the form of gunshots whizzing by his head, forcing him to duck and turn to protect the whimpering animal.

Apparently Jerry and Jenkins were toting more than laser weaponry, and had begun to open fire on them with classic munitions, causing them to scramble for cover before Kate fires off a few more arrows to distract them. All of them hit of course, but whatever body armor they were wearing must have been stronger than Kevlar, as her razor arrow tips did nothing more than stagger the criminals before they ripped them out.

“Get out of here! Yelena and I have got this!”

At the mention of his other girlfriend, Peter was suddenly very aware of her disappearance. He didn’t have to worry for long however, as a familiar roar sounded and Yelena dropped down from above with her batons at the ready and her tiger strung around her neck, glowing angry red as she glowered down at them.

The air was filled with grunts of pain as she went to work, and Peter suddenly felt several arms grabbing at him to get him to his feet. “Come on Peter!”

“It pains me to say it but we need to leave!” Jack hissed in his ear, “Bravery has its moment my boy but bullets are better left to the superheroes yes?”

There were a lot of things Peter could have said to that but given the situation, he had no choice but to follow the Legion out of the alley.

“Dialing 911!” Missy declared in a panic.

“Yeah they’re not exactly equipped to deal with super criminals!” Wendy shouted.

“Still?” Orville cried, “You’d think they’d have fixed that by now!”

Peter glanced back as they made their way down the street. He was worried, that was just a default state for him, but he had faith in Kate and Yelena. Both were capable in their own right, but together? What could go wrong?

A strangely familiar whining sound echoed out, and Peter watched in horror as Yelena came flying out of the alleyway, rolling over herself a few feet before her claws appeared and dug into the concrete. She dragged a line of claw marks across the road as she rode in a predatory crouch, before launching herself back into the fray.

“Oh come on I didn’t even say it out loud!” Peter grumbled before turning to Orville and shoving the dog in his arms.

Before he could take a step back towards the fight, he was stopped by Jack and Missy stepping into his path.

“Peter, I know you’re trying to be a good boyfriend and all, but this isn’t the way!” Missy insisted.

Taking a deep breath, he gritted “Guys, you really don’t get it…”

Jack put a hand on his shoulder, looking deep into his eyes, “Peter, I do understand. To see the women you love in danger is a powerful motivator towards recklessness, but I tell you— oh my…” his speech was cut off as Peter lost patience and grabbed him by the front of his costume. With one hand he easily lifted him into the air and moved him out of the way, before shooting Missy a questioning look.

She simply raised her hands on surrender and backed out of his way.

“Thanks,” he nodded before jogging forward, feeling grateful he had worn his costume under his clothes. (Though it had been sweltering the whole night). Right before he turned into the alley, he glanced back to see all of the LARPers staring at him with concern.

Sighing heavily, he grumbled to himself, “Shuri’s right, I am bad at this.” He took his mask out of his back pocket and pulled it on before giving them a thumbs up.

He sprinted into the alleyway, slipping on his gloves and web shooters as he went before ripping off his clothes to reveal his costume underneath. It wouldn’t do to give the crooks any clues to connect.

He arrived back in the fight just in time to see Kate roll out of the way of a downwards strike that cratered the ground and caused a shockwave that sent Kate flying backward through the air.

Peter shot to webs forwards before yanking in a sharp motion, sending himself flying down the street at breakneck speeds, snagging Kate out of the air along the way before sliding to a stop of his knees, holding Kate bridal style. “You alright?”

She took a second for her brain to process the sudden shift from peril to safety, “Yeah you know, same as usual. Jack and the others okay?”

“Kinda had to blow my cover so they’d stop trying to protect me.” He reported.

She winced, “Sorry, but I’m pretty glad you did, these guys are more trouble than they’re worth.

He set her down as they got m back in to the fight. Yelena was a flurry of strikes as she battered them with her electric batons. Unfortunately, it seemed their outfits were insulated as well as arrow proof. Normally that wouldn’t be that big a problem for her, as her strength was enough to make up the difference, but she was forced to keep her distance as every strike from their powered gauntlets came with a bright flash and enough extreme concussive force that sent her flying.

And it wasn’t the first time Peter had seen it.

“Hang back Kate, if those things hit you head on I don’t think you’re getting back up.”

“Why’s it sounds like you’re speaking from experience?”

“That’s what I want to know.”

He leapt back in, accompanied by a pair of arrows that shot smoothly under him and impacted on the goons with small concussive blasts. It was enough to knock them on their asses as Peter went for one while Yelena leapt on another.

He dodged the punches the man through and began webbing him to the ground. Yelena grabbed the wrist of one hand of her prey, but the other got her in the gut abs sent her into the air.

“Jenkins! Help me!” Peters quarry called out.

To Peter’s shock, Jenkins slammed a button on his chest and proceeded to slip out from under gravity’s oppressive grip. He began floating aimlessly for a moment before a small jet activated his bulky backpack thing and grabbed him control.

“Sorry Jerry! Rule number one: don’t get caught!”

“He meant caught in the act you jackass!” The words were lost on the wind as Jenkins had already rocketed away, somewhat erratically but far too fast for Peter to swing after.

He looked back down at the unlucky contestant as Kate helped a grimacing Yelena wince over with a hand over her sore stomach, “So… feeling talkative?”

“You don’t scare me Spider-Man!” He spat.

Peter nodded before moving off him to allow Yelena to kneel down and look him in the eye, yellow iris’s blazing and canines elongated. She raised a hand to hover over his face and summoned her claws, allowing the tips to stop just before the man’s wide eyes. “Good thing he has me here then…”

Despite the extremely convincing argument, they still didn’t get much out of the man before the actual police began to arrive. Yelena probably could have gotten more with time and less moral partners watching her, but such was the reality.

They did learn what all three had already suspected: the gear had come from the Tinkerer, and whoever else they were involved with was scary enough to face an angry Tiger woman rather than give them up.

They had retreated to the rooftops, mostly at Yelena’s request. Kate seemed unworried and Peter hadn’t had an issue with cops for years, but Yelena seemed extremely uncomfortable at the idea of interacting with the authorities unnecessarily. Luckily the LARP Legion was willing to give statements and make sure everything went smoothly.

“So you gonna leave us in suspense or what?” Kate asked, “You recognized the tech.”

“Yeah…” Peter nodded, staring down at the man as he was hefted into the back of a police van, his webbing still keeping him restrained. “Remember the Vulture guy I told you about?”

“Adrian Toomes.” Yelena recalled instantly.

“The guy who dropped the warehouse on you.” Kate frowned.

Peter winced, “Yeah him. One of his crew got me with that gauntlet thing when I came across one of their weapons deals. Then the night I took down Toomes, another one came after me at the school dance. Punched a few school busses at me with it before Ned saved my butt.”

“Who’s Ned?” Yelena questioned.

That sent a throbbing jolt of guilt through him. Had he really never brought him up before? “He’s my best friend. Or he was before…”

“Mind wipe, right. Sorry Peter.” Kate soothed as Yelena raked her fingers up and down his back.

He shook his head, “It’s… fine. The point is that the tech belonged to Toomes gang, so the Tinkerer must have been part of the gang too. I always did wonder who the brains was. Toomes was smart but he always seemed more of a strategist... Damn it!”

“What?” Yelena asked.

“This is my—“

“Please do not say it was your fault.” Kate cut him off, “Because I’ll level with you babe: the idea of you going against weapons like that, facing the danger you did still freaks me out a little.”

He turned to her in surprise. “What do you mean?”

“I mean you were sixteen!” She exclaimed.

Yelena stepped forward, putting a comforting hand on Kate’s arm, “Peter, I am rather fucker in the head. Being conscripted into an assassin school as an infant will do that to you, but even I can understand that what you had to deal with is too much. More so for a child. You cannot he held accountable for missing a few loose ends.”

“I was a teenager.” He defended, “Still am by the way, in case you forgot. I knew the risks I was taking, I knew what I was getting myself into!”

“Hey we’re not trying to say otherwise!” Kate assured him.

“It is simply that as people who love you, imagining you in those scenarios is not a fun time.” Yelena continued.

“Exactly!” Kate agreed before pausing, “What what’d you just say?”

“Not a fun time?”

Peter momentarily forgot his paradoxical mix of defensiveness and self deprecation in lieu of butterflies in his stomach, “You ah… you said love?”

Yelena looked between Peter and Kate expectantly, “Yes. And?”

“That just seems like a significant moment.” Kate hazarded.

“Why?”

“Well you haven’t said it before, to either of us.” Peter explained.

“That I love you? Why would I need to say it, is it not obvious?” At the blank looks she received she let out a sigh, “Americans, there are some things that actions show better than words. Natasha and I never once said the words but that does mean she did not love me. And I’m sure she know I felt the same.”

“So what you’re saying is…”

A mixture of bafflement and amusement crossed her face as she rolled her eyes, though she ended in a smile all the same. “Kate Bishop, Peter Parker, I love you. There is that acceptable?”

Her answer came in the form of them crashing into her in a three way hug. She took it with a slight huff before wrapping her arms around them, “You two are so funny sometimes…”

“We love you too by the way!” Peter stayed hurriedly.

“Like to an obnoxious degree.” Kate added.

“Yes I am aware. Like I say, actions tell all.”

Across the city nestled deep in the industrial district, a secret hatch opened up on one of the roofs, just in time for Jenkins to fly inside erratically.

He traveled down a short tunnel before entering an enormous hanger, filled with men at work chopping up some machine or putting together another.

Jenkins landed clumsy near the enter, knocking over a stack of tool kits in the process, ignoring the string of curses he received from the people around him. “Yeah I know ! I know! Fuck off!”

“Jenkins!”

The crook winced as he turned to see one of his bosses approaching angrily, “Yeah what is it Herman?”

“What the fuck are you doing? You better have a damn good reason for activating the emergency jump jet system. And where’s Jerry?”

“We got jumped man! It wasn’t my fault! We exited the bank and all of a sudden there were Avenger wannabes on all sides! They weren’t messing around either, look at what one of them did to the armor!” He held up an arm to reveal claw marks socket deep into the material.

“Where is Jerry?” Herman gritted.

“He got caught, I tried my best man but it was either go back and get webbed up too or get my ass out of there! I don’t—“

“Wait shut the fuck up!” Herman stopped him, “You said webs?”

“Uh, yeah? The spider freak was there, along with some arrow chick and a crazy blonde lady.”

“Come with me.”

Without another word, Herman began walking back through the maze of tanked and workbenches, Jenkins having no choice but to follow after.

He was left to the far back of the warehouse, where a significant section was walked off for a private workspace.

Herman types in a code to enter and they were transported to a new world. Rather than the normal contents of a chop shop like what went on outside, this tool was filled with all manner of advanced weaponry, alien and otherwise.

Sat in the middle, swiveling around to attend to numerous monitors was a rather stout man, resembling a short bear wearing safety goggles.

“Phin!” Herman shouted.

The man looked up with a start. “Herman! What’s up?”

“We got a problem Phineas, of the arachnid variety.”

Phineas paled at the words, “No… no we’ve been so careful!”

“Apparently not careful enough.” The second on command rumbled, “Dipshit here got Jerry arrested, and he used the jump jet.”

“Hey don’t spin it like that when you weren’t even there!” Jenkins protested before looking to the boss, “And by the way that flight system needs a major tune up, it’s barely aerodynamic and—“

“I don’t need you to explain engineering to me.” Phineas cut him off, “That’s kind of my thing.”

“Yeah well I’m an engineer too jack ass, worked in the Air Force, so I might know what I’m talking about. You know if you had given me an actual suit instead of this cobbled together hunk of—Woah!” As he was ranting, Phineas had calmly my typed a few keys on a computer next to him. The result was Jenkins anti gravity generator activating and every other function of the suit shutting down.

“What the hells going on?”

Phineas pulled on his goggles before standing up, “You know, we’ve gone years now without getting caught like this. It was very difficult, especially at the beginning… I really don’t appreciate you coming in here after ruining that and making demands.”

Jenkins struggled desperately in midair before realizing it was no ie. He had nothing to grab on to or push off if. As he watched, Phineas searched through his workbench, before pulling up a sleek looking blow torch, fitted with a glowing chitauri energy crystal. “Herman, you remember what happened to the last guy on our crew who pulled that crap?”

Herman smirked viciously, “Got disintegrated if I remember correctly.”

Phineas snapped dramatically, “That’s right! Course I dismantled that weapon soon after. Some things are too dangerous even for us you know? Shame.” He started up the blow torch, “Guess we’ll have to do it the slow way.”

Jenkins squirming started up once more as Phineas approached, “Wait! Wait I’m sorry! It wasn’t my fault it was just bad luck! I can make it right I swear! I swear please oh Christ!”

Before the flame could reach the man’s flesh, Herman snickered out, “Boss, maybe nows not the best time to start firing people. We’re gonna need bodies to handle the Spider, especially if he’s working with partners now…”

Phineas froze, allowing the torch to hover in the air for a moment, braided shutting it off, eliciting a groan of relief from Jenkins. “True enough.” He walked back over to his computer and tapped a key.

Jenkins collapsed back under gravities weight for only a moment before Herman hauled him up and shoved him towards the exit. “Call the other crews back in, we need to consolidate and plan our next move.”

“You got it!” Jenkins yelled before scrambling out the door.

Once he was out and the door shut behind him, Herman burst into full blown laughter while Phineas began dry heaving.

“Why didn’t you stop me sooner!” He wailed, “I could practically smell his skin start to cook!”

“You got to send the right message to these idiots!” Herman insisted, “Relax Phin, you did good. With a name like Tinkerer you need all the scary stories you can get.”

“I hate being scary…” Phineas whined, “You know I suck at it.”

“So what do we do?”

“I… I don’t know. We’re in too deep to pull out now, not that you were even considering that I suppose.”

“I was not.” Herman grinned.

“I finished your suit’s latest upgrade, maybe with all the shock squads—“

“It won’t be enough.” Herman stopped him, “This bug took down the boss remember? He tanked hits from the prototype gauntlets and the moment he got his web gizmos I was done. I won’t be enough for this… we need to call him.”

“No…”

“He hates Spider-Man and he’s crazy enough that he might be able to pull it off—“

“He’s too crazy!” Phineas argued, “Have you seen the requests he added to his suit order, the same one I’ve rejected three years in a row? Only a total psychopath would—

“Be exactly what we need to take down the Spider.”

Phineas’ face seemed to go through all the stages of grief at once before he yelled, “Fine! I’ll get him a consultation. But the minute we get rid of Spider-Man that’s it! We cut off contact!”

“Fine by me.” Herman shrugged.

Phineas went back to his desk, cursing and muttering under his breath, “God we’re gonna regret this. Alright Mac Gargan. Suit request,” he tapped a key to seal his fate, “Approved.”

Chapter Text

Although it took a few hours, the LARPers were eventually allowed to go home by the police. They were more than happy to comply.

As they were walking home through a quiet street however, they stopped as Spider-Man landed gracefully on top of a lamppost ahead of them, “Hey everyone…”

“Pe—I mean Spider-Man…” Missy spoke slowly after her slip.

Peter nodded thankfully, “Yeah I’d prefer that name with the mask on. …Surprise?”

As he spoke, Yelena dropped down onto the street from the building next to him, holding Kate in her arms as she landed. After being put down Kate brushed herself off before giving them a nervous smile, “So… crazy night huh?”

“Dude…” Missy stared at her in awe, “You’re dating Spider-Man?”

Thrown that that was the first question, Kate only offered a simple, “Yeah?”

“She’s also dating me, which is just as awe inspiring not that anyone cares.” Yelena grumbled.

“Hey I care!” Peter exclaimed as he dropped to the street.

“You are literally the most caring person I have met, you don’t count.”

Jack cleared his throat, gaining their attention as he shifted his word belt uncertainly, “Er, I have a few questions.”

Peter winced, “Yeah I figured. I’d be happy to answer… if you all could do me huge solid and not tell anyone about this?”

“Tell anyone?” Wendy questioned, “Why would we do that?”

“Well not to brag but I’m a pretty well known figure…”

Missy looked at him like he was crazy, “Spider-Man, we’re not going to tell anyone your secret. Everyone with a brain knows you help people and beyond that… well it’d be a pretty dick move you know?”

Jack looked affronted at the language , “Well not how I would have put it, but I do agree with the sentiment. That aside, you are Kates paramour… one of them at least, I would never betray her that way, you have my word.”

“Thanks Jack… all of you.” Peter nodded. “So… any questions.”

“Just one for me.” Jack spoke up first, “And I entreat you to answer honestly.”

“Oh, okay?”

“Did you let me win our sword fight?”

If took a while for Peter to answer all their inquiries, as well as assure Jack several times that yes, he really is just that bad at swordsmanship, but eventually they were satisfied and it was time for everyone to go home.

As the Legion was leaving and Peter and Yelena were stretching in preparation g for the long trip home, Jack pulled Kate to the side for one last private chat.

“Now Kate, I understand you are doing very well, you’ve found yourself a wonderful pair of partners to look out did you and you have absolutely no need for—“

“Jack!” She cut him off with a laugh. “I’m not gonna flip on you or something. Just say what’s in your mind!”

He swallowed his apparent nervousness and regained his composure, “Of course. It occurred to me that, since we both seem to be having trouble visiting your mother by ourselves, that it might be easier on both of us if we… went together. To be honest I feel I will benefit the most out of this, you have your lovers to support you after all but—oof!” The wind was squeezed out of him as Kate pulled him into a crushing embrace.

She stepped back to reveal shining eyes, “I think that’s a really good idea Jack. I know Peter and Yelena would come if I asked but… having someone else who actually knows her would make me feel a lot better. Thank you.”

At her words, Jack seemed to develop a few tears of his own before he straightened up and wiped them away, “Happy to help my dear. Know that if you are ever in trouble that your companions cannot help you with, I am always a phone call away.”

Final goodbyes all said, all that was last was to get home after a long and surprisingly painful night.

“You sure you good going home?” Peter asked, “That guy got you right in the gut…”

Yelena held a hand over her stomach with a sour look, “It was a lucky hit. I will recover.”

“Yeah but maybe we should come with you just to be safe.” Kate suggested cautiously, “I wouldn’t feel good about sending you home alone while you’re hurting…”

At first she seemed ready to deny them, but then something appeared to occur to her and her entire demeanor shifted, “Alright.”

“Really?” They echoed each other.

“It is a fair request, and it is rather late. However, I won’t bring you halfway across the city lot of your way just to send you back out again. You can stay at my place tonight.”

A less exhausted Peter might have questioned that, or brought up the fact that he didn’t have a spare change of clothes on him after he ripped his outfit apart. As it was, all that went through his mind was how comfortable he remembered Yelena’s couch being.

That was why when Peter and Kaye ended up laid on either side of Yelena, clad in nothing but their undergarments after showering, he took a little longer than normal to process the situation.

“This isn’t your couch.”

Yelena smiled with closed eyes, “No милый, it is not.”

He was too tired to push the issue, instead deciding to jump headfirst and cuddling up to Yelena. He was a little hesitant where to put his head at first but she made easier for him by wrapping her arm around his neck and pulling his head against her chest, “Use these, very soft.”

A moment later, Kates arms wrapped around Yelena’s neck, pulling the blondes head slightly into her own breasts.

“Mmm, even softer.”

“I don’t know about that…” Peter j toned, voice slightly muffled as his face pressed into Yelena’s bosom.

“Hmm, you’ll have to try mine some other time, see how they compare.”

“That sounds nice…”

The room was silent for a while save did their steady breathing. Unfortunately, Peter couldn’t bring himself to fall asleep yet.

“Hey guys?” He received dual hums of acknowledgement. “I think I like Shuri.”

“Really? And why do you like her?” Yelena murmured indulgently.

“Well she’s really funny, pretty, smart… crazy smart… she kinda drives me crazy sometimes, not always in the sexy way but the annoying way. I’m pretty sure that shouldn’t be in the pro column but it kind of is for some reason.

“It’s called passion darling.” Yelena grinned. “And what about you Kate Bishop?”

“…I don’t really know how I feel.”

Peter looked up from his (Yelena’s) pillows, “You don’t like her?”

“It’s not that I don’t like her. I don’t dislike her, I find her physically attractive, that’s for damn sure, I agree with all the things you said about her, I just don’t know if it’s developed into a full attraction yet.”

“Yet?”

“Yeah well… I was thinking if you both wanted it we could try it out anyways.”

“Even though you—“

“Again I don’t dislike her,” she cut him off, “I just don’t know. I think we should just treat it like we treated us, take it one date at a time.”

“That makes sense,” Peter frowned, “But what if one or both you don’t end up liking her but I do? I mean if you say no then hey that’s it, I’m still kinda amazed we’re taking if this far…”

“We can cross that bridge when we come to it.” Yelena stated. “Although worst case scenario, maybe you just have her as a side ho?”

Peter snickered into her chest, “Why do I feel like she’d like that a bit?“

“She’s definitely unique,” Kate giggled, “I think I could live with a side chick or two, long as they know who the main squeezes are.”

“You guys are ridiculous,” Peter chuckled, “Worst case scenario I’ll just stick with you two. I can barely keep up with you as it is.”

“Well at least that’s settled.” Kate sighed, “Which is good cause we need to talk to Felicia tomorrow and the only method we have is the group chat.”

“Can’t we call some other superhero to take care of it?” Yelena whined, “Those gauntlets really do hurt.”

Frowning, Peter reached his hand up towards her stomach before pausing, “Can I feel?”

“Go ahead.”

He ran his hand lightly up and down her toned abdominals. He couldn’t see so he wasn’t sure how bad the damage was, but as he pressed a bit and got a moan from her, he quickly started to retreat.

“No.” She told him, “Keep doing it…”

“It doesn’t hurt?”

“It is sore but the rubbing feels good.”

“Oh? So you’re saying you like belly rubs?” Kate grinned.

“I suppose I do.”

“Does the pretty kitty like belly scratches too or—“

“Do not push it Kate Bishop.”

“Sorry.”

They lazily rubbed circles into Yelena’s stomach, feeling the exhaustion creep up on them as the repetitive motions helped it along.

Right before he dozed off, Peter heard: “Maybe when I am less tired…”

He woke up feeling a bit strangled. Sometime during the night, Yelena’s loose grip around his neck had shifted into a death grip, as she pulled him into her chest and wrapped her legs around his torso. It seemed she had received similar treatment from Kate, who’s taller form was clutching Yelena’s in a comfortable spoon, looking very pleased with herself as she did so.

Nether of them seemed awake, which was fair since the sun had barely risen. By far the most convenient aspect if his powers was his decreased need for sleep.

When he wasn’t healing devastating injuries that is.

He pulled away from Yelena, only to feel her grip tighten and hear a rather adorable growl escape her. “No…”

“Are you awake?” He breathed out.

“I will not…”

He took that as a no, and quickly filed ‘Yelena talks in her sleep’ into the Very Important section of his brain. What he would do with the information he wasn’t sure, but he could identify privileged information when it was put right in front of him.

“Stop… go away…”

He frowned as she started to show discomfort, twitching her head back and forth as whatever she was dreaming about seemed to disagree with her.

“Yelena…” he brought a hand up to her face carefully, “Are you okay?”

She didn’t seem to hear him, her distress increasing by the second as she seemed to do battle with some imaginary foe. With a grumble she flung a hand out, smacking him in the back of the head rather forcefully.

Realizing that the dream had shifted into a nightmare, he brought his other hand up to gently shake her shoulder. “Yelena? Yelena it’s okay, it’s just a dream.” Still no response, so he shook with a tad more force, hissing out her name, “Yelena!”

Her eyes snapped open, their faces inches away, and Peter was shocked to see her Tiger eyes glowing brightly at him, before they faded away with a tired blink, “Peter? What is it, why are you up?”

“I… I just saw you were having a bad dream, I wanted to snap you out of it.”

“A bad dream?” Her eyes struggled to focus on him as he sat up, before she just gave up and closed them again, “I did not have any dreams.”

“You sure?” He quirked an eyebrow, “You were talking in your sleep, looked pretty upset…”

“I have no memory of this…” she murmured, “Now will you lie back down or do you expect me to stay awake this ungodly hour?”

He almost asked about the eyes, but looking at her now he couldn’t see the amulet anywhere on her, so he figured ye likely hadn’t been fully awake either, “You go back to sleep, I should swing back to my place and grab some clothes, I got ghe internship in a few hours.”

A yawn split her face as she nodded into the pillow, “Okay, be safe.”

He smiled, “I’ll do my best. Tell Kate I love her?”

“I suppose...”

He bent down and placed a kiss on the side her forehead, pulling a soft smile out of her as well. “Love you.”

“I love you too Peter. Now go away so I can sleep.”

Peter: hey

Shuri: good morning

Peter: no funny usernames?

Shuri: couldn’t really think of any

Peter: ah

Shuri: how was the sciencing today?

Peter: productive…

Shuri: still not gonna tell me what you’re doing in that lab?

Peter: well I did sign documents saying I wouldn’t

Peter: but…

Peter: for certain reasons I did tell Kate and Yelena so I guess it’s only fair I tell you as well

Shuri: …

Shuri: boi

Shuri: did you just

Peter: 😁

Shuri: THAT’S how you give me the answer?

Shuri: the audacity

Shuri: I’m a princess you know

Peter: yeah I know

Peter: which reminds me

Peter: how will this even work? I mean I know long distance relationships are possible but

Jungle Fever: oh

Jungle Fever: I got ideas

Jungle Fever: 😏😏😏

Peter: you cannot keep that as your contact in my phone

Peter: Shuri please

Jungle Fever: you thought I was goofy before

Jungle Fever: I’ll be ten times worse now that you actually know I’m flirting

Jungle Fever: having second thoughts?

Peter: …

Peter: no

Peter: still it sounds like I’m fetishizing you

Peter: can’t you pick something else?

Princess: this work for you?

Peter: much better thank you

Princess: just know that I will never excuse you

Peter: huh?

Peter: oh XD

Peter: nice

Peter: by the way could you send me Felicia’s number?

Princess: wow

Princess: you’re insatiable

Peter: not like that 🙄

Peter: we need to meet up with her and I feel bad only talking to her over the group chat

Princess: Mhmm Sure

Princess: Felicia Hardy

Peter: thanks

Princess: you’re so gonna make her fall for you too

Peter: why in the world would I do that ?

Princess: why’d you do it to three other women? T’Challa’s gonna have to build his harem larger to keep up with yours

Peter: T’Challa has a harem?!?

Peter: also I don’t!

Peter: if anything it’s Kates harem

Princess: whatever helps you sleep at night. Also he doesn’t that was a joke

Princess: he doesn’t have Spider Rizz like you do

Peter: I don’t have spider rizz

Peter: and even if I did, I’m pretty sure that would just translate to offering big scary females food and praying to god they don’t eat me

Peter: I barely have regular rizz

Princess: sure. jan

Chapter Text

The setting sun cast an orange glow over the city as Peter landed on the agreed-upon rooftop, setting Kate down gently as Yelena rolled to a stop beside him.

They were received by an impatient Black Cat, who huffed at their arrival, “Seriously? How are you gonna call me out here last minute then not even show up on time?

“Sorry,” Peter shrugged unapologetically, “There was crime.”

“‘There was crime’” she mocked, “What do you stop for every shifty thing you come across?”

“Uh… yeah?”

“That’s kind of what superheroes do.” Kate explained.

“Literally every part of this city is shifty!” Felicia argued, “Honestly how do you get anything done?”

“It’s hard.” Yelena answered simply.

“Yeah I bet.” The burglar sighed, “So what do you guys want anyway? Also why has the group chat gone so quiet? You guys usually blow my phone up all day.”

“You could just turn off notifications.” Kate suggested.

“And Miss the free show?”

“There’s been a… development that we’re working through.” Peter stated.

Felicia crossed her arms, “What kind? Did Shuri finally cut to the chase with you guys?”

“You knew too?”

“Oh my god I was kidding… she actually did it? Told you how she felt?”

Kate winced, “More like we finally realized what she was doing.”

“You didn’t know?!”

“Look we didn’t exactly think the princess of the most technologically advanced country on earth would seriously trying to flirt with us!” Peter defended.

“You see what I have to deal with?” Yelena huffed, “No concept of their own self worth. They are lucky to be so cute…”

“I have self worth!” Kate insisted, “I basically confidenced my way into being the new Hawkeye!”

“Yeah! And I value… me.” Peter offered weakly.

“You guys are a hoot.” Felicia shook her head, “So what happened? You let her down easy or are you a four-way now.”

“We’re testing the waters and seeing how it goes.” Kate replied curtly.

“My my,” Felicia grinned before turning to Peter, “What are you a Girlfriend trainer? Gotta catch ‘em all?”

“It’s not like that!” He groaned before pausing, “You know about Pokémon?”

“Everyone knows about Pokémon, I don’t live under a rock just because I’m hot. Now are you gonna tell me why I’m here or not?”

Unsure whether or not to argue the hot comment, Peter simply pressed onward, “We ran into some of the Tinkerers associates, bank robbers using some ridiculous tech.”

That garnered a reaction, “They actually got caught? Damn, they’re getting sloppy…”

“You knew?” Kate asked

“You think they give these suits to just anyone who asks? You either need an extravagant amount of money, or in my case, you can earn it by doing a few fobs for them, as well as pay them a years worth of loot.”

“What kind of jobs?” Yelena asked.

“Robberies, espionage, sabotage, things I’m well suited for. Nothing that got people hurt.”

“That sounds like a lot of work just to rob tall buildings.”

The ever present smirk faded as Felicia looked away, “Well that wasn’t really my goal back then.”

That screamed intrigue but Peter forced himself to swallow the question in lieu of the more immediate concern, “So you know where their base is? You can lead us there?”

She sighed, “Not exactly. These guys aren’t dumb, they knew I wasn’t in it for the long haul, I told them as much. They have a separate outpost they use to communicate with free agents like me. That’s where I got my orders and my payment. I only ever met the Tinkerer himself once, and he was decked out in some weird custom welding mask so I never got a good look at him.”

“Well it’s a start!” Peter shrugged, looking at Kate and Yelena cod approval, “Can you take us there?”

Racing through the city with Black Cat was far more enjoyable when they weren’t trying to catch her. Peter found himself continually impressed by her skills in both gymnastic ability and sheer reflexes that allowed her to propel herself at such speeds. Sure the super suit and grappling hook helped a hell of a lot, but he was sure not just anyone could put it on and perform the tricks she could.

His thoughts were broken by a finger poking the side of his face. He looked down to where he held Kate with one arm as he swung, “What?”

She raised an eyebrow as the wind streaked thorough her hair, “You’re staring at her.”

He nearly dropped them both on the next swing, “What? No I’m… okay yeah but I’m just admiring her form!”

“Her form eh?”

“Her gymnastics form!” He corrected quickly, “I mean I have super agility so it all just comes easy to me, I just thought it was cool how she’s pulling it off with actual skill…”

“Mhmm, just wait until we figure out where we stand with Shuri okay? I think one girl at a time is the best course of action.”

“I’m not gonna— why does everyone keep acting like I’m some insatiable womanizer?”

“Because you’re not, and it’s cute when you get all embarrassed by it.”

He could only let out a petulant growl as they flew through the air, Kates laughter echoing off the roof tops behind them.

Felicia stopped them over a busy street, before pointing down, “There, that’s the place.”

She directed their attention to an unassuming shop, one among a dozen others on the street.

“Phineas’ Fix-It?” Peter read aloud, “Is that the Tinkerers name?”

“It can’t be.” Yelena dismissed him, “Only a fool would use there real name for their illegal front.”

“Or maybe he knew we’d think that and did it anyways to throw us off?” Kate suggested.”

“Yeah well who knows.” Felicia shrugged, “Anyways, that’s my part done right? Yes? Good. I’ll be off now.”

Peter considered asking her to stay, but it really wouldn’t be fair to ask her to risk her life for theirs. This wasn’t really her fight after all. “Thank you Cat. Alright guys, let’s check it out.”

“Wait what?” Felicia spun around halfway across the rooftop, “You’re not just going to barge in are you?”

“No, we are not.” Yelena said pointedly, towards her other… fourths? Quarters? “We will perform surveillance first, assess possible defenses.” She flipped her goggles down, “I do not detect any heat signatures however…”

“You can’t trust what you see!” Felicia insisted, “Even with those fancy goggles. Look if there’s one thing I learned working for these guys is that they’re paranoid and well equipped. They take any and every measure you can think of to avoid detection as well as fifty more that you won’t think of because they freaking invented it!”

“Seems a bit dramatic.” Yelena responded.

Felicia seemed torn looking between them the city behind her before letting out an angry huff as she stalked back to them.

“So… you’re gonna help us?” Peter asked.

“I’m gonna make sure you don’t get yourselves killed.” She corrected, a severely aggrieved expression adorning her features. “Only because I owe you for not turning me in.”

“Right…” Peter grinned before coughing out: “Goodperson!

“I know I’m a good person! Stop using it as an insult!”

“Stop blushing when we do it then.” Kate suggested, “Mrs. Goody two shoes.”

“On second thought, be my guest, go in alone and get yourself killed. See if I care.”

Despite her words she still led them across the street, leaping to the opposite rooftop. Kate tried to question why they couldn’t use the front or back door, but she only received a piercing stare in response until she just gave up on it.

She led them to what seemed like a barren section of the roof, until she tapped on it a few times before digging her claws into a previously invisible seam. She ripped a thin panel open to reveal sleek, glowing electronics.

“What..? Peter asked, staring at the craftsmanship in awe. The Tinkerer had definitely upped his game since the incident with the vultures.

“The entrance.” She responded, “After a job this is where I entered to report in. Obviously they’ve changed the code by now but…” she dig her claws into the circuitry carefully.

“Is that a good idea? You could electrocute yourself…”

“I’m fine, I took a peek at their tech when their back was turned. Not much of a tech geek in general but I’m damn good at breaking into things. Plus the suit is insulated.” She answered before tugging something with a finger, “Got it.”

As she spoke, the bare section of the roof suddenly disappeared, a glowing purple rectangle revealing the interior.

“Woah!” Kay’s exclaimed, “What the hell is that!”

“Matter phase shifter…” Peter answered in awe, “They we’re using them back in the day too, but they had to use glowing stone thingies on each corner to make it work. They’ve been busy…”

“Yeah being able to walk walls really helps when you’re trying to rob a place.” Felicia stated before jumping in. “Come on! And step where I step!”

They were led inside the dastardly interior of… an electronics repair shop.

“Not seeing a lot of stuff that screams evil scientist…” Peter noted.

“Well they wouldn’t just leave that kind of stuff lying around.” Felicia huffed, “Though it’s definitely different from the last time I was here… they might have wizened up and moved the heist crap to a different location…”

“Oh great,” Yelena, “So we broke in here for nothing.”

“Sorry I didn’t think to keep tabs on the black market weapon dealers! Seemed like the sort of thing best left behind me. I’m pretty sure they still take the commissions here though.”

“A stake out then?” Yelena suggested.

“Oh god do we have to?” Kate groaned.

“I don’t know how I feel about sitting in one place that long.” Peter agreed, “Especially when we could be out helping people in immediate need.

“Plus they don’t operate at night,” Felicia added, “It’d have to be during the day, and I don’t know about you guys but I have this thing called a life…”

“I can do it.” Yelena offered.

“Really?” Peter frowned, “You don’t have anything better to do?”

“Well there is you and Kate Bishop but otherwise not so much.”

As they recovered from the surprise attack, Felicia snickered to Yelena, “Damn, leaving out Shuri?”

“Well she is on another continent and we haven’t even had a date yet. Maybe someday?”

“If you’re sure.” Peter spoke loudly, “Then that would be very appreciated. And we’ll come visit you as often as we can.” Kate nodded in agreement, her blush quickly fading as her tolerance grew.

“So you just have all day to do whatever you want?” Felicia asked, “How do you make money?”

“I was until recently an assassin trained from infancy forced to carry out missions for an evil madman. That has left my skillset rather limited so until I figure something out I receive money from my mommy and daddy.”

Felicia stated at her as she tried to mentally unpack it all, “Uh… that’s nice of them?”

“It is.” She agree with a smile, “Of course they only do it out of guilt but that’s parents for you right?”

“My mom left when I was young and my dad… isn’t around anymore.” Felicia revealed solemnly.

“So you do get it.” Yelena clapped her on the shoulder happily as Kate and Peter gawked at her lack of tact.

“Sure.”

They exited the way they came, and Felicia hooked a claw in once more, tugging slightly to turn the matter phase shifter off like she was flipping alight

“I guess that’s that then.” Yelena looked to her partners, “I assume you will want to crusade for a few more hours, but I think I will get a bit more rested before the day ahead.”

“Alright.” Peter frowned under the mask but didn’t protest otherwise.

“Be safe!” Kate chirped as she pulled her in for a kiss.

When the blonde turned to Peter next he glanced at Felicia cautiously, as she was watching the exchange with a far too interested expression.

“Милый I do love you but I will string you upside down if you keep me waiting. Just lift it halfway.”

“Sorry…” he hastily corrected, lifting his mask up, and planning to go in for a quick peck. Yelena seemed to have other ideas and pulled him in for a much deeper embrace than he was prepared for.

Meanwhile Kate and Felicia watched from the sidelines. “How would that even work? Kissing upside down would be way be harder right?”

“Oh you can make it work.” Felicia assured her before tilting her head, “Damn, she really has his number huh?”

Kate giggled, “He’s actually really good kisser considering what little experience he has.”

Peter finally managed to extricate himself, “Kate!”

“What? It’s not a dig it’s a good thing! You’re a quick learner!”

He rigged his mask down in a snapping motion while Eyeing Felicia uncertainly, “I’m just not trying to give her any more clues than she needs…”

The thief chuffed, “Oh my gosh! You’re young and white?! I could never have figured that out from just hearing you say literally anything…”

“Relax,,” Yelena assured him, “She will not find out unless you want her too.”

“Well I mean I probably could…”

“I will personally ensure she doesn’t.” Yelena smiled at him.”

“You know if actually not that curious.”

“Good night.” Yelena told them, leaping off as they all echoed the sentiment back to her.

That just left Peter with Kate and Felicia, who stretched languidly, “Well, guess that’s a wrap for me too. Later Kate, Spider…”

“Wait!” Peter stopped her, “Do you… want to try patrolling with us?”

Her eyes narrowed as she looked back at him. “Why?”

“Well… never mind...” She shrugged and went on her way.

Kate put a hand on his back, rubbing it up and down slowly, “Nice try champ, you’ll get her next time!”

“Maybe I’m barking up the wrong tree.” He sighed, “Not everyone wants to be a vigilante.”

“I wouldn’t give up just yet.” She smiled at him, “You have a way with people you know?”

“Not really.” He chuckled humorlessly, “But I’ll take your word for it.”

“Good choice.” She raised her arms in the air, “Up please!”

He rolled his eyes but complied, lifting her easily to settle under one arm, “You’re getting a bit spoiled with this don’t you think?”

“Well the motorcycle didn’t really work out as well as we hoped. Got a better idea for how I can keep up with you?”

He leapt off the roof, swinging them into the night as he contemplated, “Not yet, I’m sure we can think of something though right?”

“I won’t hold my breath. I doubt half the OG Avengers could keep up with you on a good day. Clint definitely couldn’t but he did alright.” Her arms squeezed a bit tighter on his torso, “Plus this isn’t the most uncomfortable position to be in.”

Peter tightened his gaze on the streets and back alleys to try to distract from the tightening in his pants, “Down girl…”

“Yeah yeah. What say you come back to my apartment when we’re done tonight?”

That was an idea, “Without Yelena?”

“Like she said, she needs to rest up. We wouldn’t want to disturb her. Think of it as practice for when this whole thing with Tinker Toy is settled. We’ll have to give her a reward for taking one for the team.”

“You can never have to much practice I suppose.”

“Yeah pussy practice…”

“Kate!”

“Oh come on! You’re gonna have to get used to it. With Shuri potentially getting in the mix you have a literal train of pussy heading your way. Let me be your pussy trainer, your pussy coach, your—“

“We’re not going to call you the Pussy Conductor.“

“You say that now…”

RoyalTea: Guys

RoyalTea: I’ve done it

Spider-Butt: what?

Spider-Butt: also really? How is that clever?

BowDown: I get it 😏

CrouchingTiger: I get it 😏

StickyFingers: I get it 😏

Spider-Butt: wow

Spider-Butt: objectified once again

StickyFingers: wait that seemed worse with this username

RoyalTea: it REALLY did 👀👀

BowDown: typing with one hand there Cat?

StickyFingers: you KNOW Shuri has full control of the usernames!

RoyalTea: irrelevant

RoyalTea: ladies and gentle spiders, through hours of scientific research, I have discovered the source of Spider-Man’s greatest ability!

RoyalTea: Behold!

CrouchingTiger: holy shit

BowDown: OH MY GOD

BowDown: they’re SPIDER EYES

StickyFingers: am I missing something here?

CrouchingTiger: yes

CrouchingTiger: you see

BowDown: Spidey without the mask has the most adorable puppy dog eyes in the world and now we know why!

StickyFingers: surely not THAT cute

RoyalTea: cuter

RoyalTea: his powers are proportional to a human after all

StickyFingers: damn

StickyFingers: are y’all trying to get me to peek?

CrouchingTiger: you are free to make decisions

CrouchingTiger: but all decisions have consequences.

CrouchingTiger: also thank you Shuri, this stakeout was getting boring

CrouchingTiger: was way easier when I was mind controlled not to be bored lol

RoyalTea: no problem chief

RoyalTea: nothing exciting yet?

CrouchingTiger: employees have arrived, the shop is operating normally. If it is still the contact point for black market customers they have gotten very smart about hiding it. I will wait until they close and try following an employee when they leave but I’m predicting little success.

StickyFingers: they might just actually be regular employees

Spider-Butt: If so what then?

CrouchingTiger: have patience, we’ll figure it out when we come to it.

RoyalTea: you didn’t say anything about the video, thoughts?

Spider-Butt: I mean

Spider-Butt: it wasn’t that cute

BowDown: bruh

RoyalTea: you’re wrong but continue

Spider-Butt: look it’s not a big deal

Spider-Butt: spiders just creep me out a bit

RoyalTea: 😐

BowDown: 😐

StickyFingers: 😐

CrouchingTiger: 😐

RoyalTea: ANYWAY

RoyalTea: I was thinking tomorrow if there’s time after the stakeout

RoyalTea: we might try a first date?

BowDown: that sounds fun!

CrouchingTiger: I am free

Spider-Butt: Totally but how do you wanna do it? Like a zoom call or…

RoyalTea: still have the phone I gifted to you?

Spider-Butt: you mean the spyware you planted in me and can probably track right this very instant?

StickyFingers: kinky

Spider-Butt: yeah I got it, why?

RoyalTea: 😁

Chapter Text

Yelena arrived back at her apartment with a tired sigh, kicking her shoes off before padding in to find a glorious mess of a kitchen. Standing in the middle were Peter and Kate, eyes wide and various food products covering their forms.

“Surprise?” Peter tried.

“You spilled flour on my tile.”

“We know and we’re sorry!” Kate spoke quickly, “My original idea was to come in and be cute and make you Mac n Cheese, but turns out your fridge is like fully stocked so we decided to try and cook an actual meal. Then…”

“We tried to be fancy chefs.” Peter hung his head, “we’re not fancy chefs.”

Yelena stepped into the carnage, wiping a bit of sauce splashed on Kates cheek, licking it with a contemplative expression. “White wine sauce?”

“We made linguini…”

“It’s good. Did it survive?”

Hope dawned in their eyes, “Its in the oven.”

“I will shower. When I come out the kitchen will be clean yes?”

They both shouted affirmatives and got to work as Yelena went to her bedroom with a smile. Other women her age might find dealing with young lovers tiresome, but she couldn’t help but find them endearing with every failure, as well as every improvement.

Once she was all cleaned up, she put on a sparkling golden dress and fixed her make up before entering the kitchen to find it spotless just as promised, not that she had any doubts. Her companions awaited her in the dining room, standing on either side of the candlelit dinner they had prepared. Apparently they had taken time to change as well

She was pleased to see they had coordinated (likely at Kate’s insistence) and sported matching black suits with silver ties.

Peter pulled out a chair for her “M’lady…”

“Why thank you.” She took her seat, watching with a smirk as Peter turned to get Kates chair, only to find her holding a chair out for him instead. The gentlemanly and politically correct sides of his brain seemed to wage a short war as he stared at her, but eventually he accepted his fate and took his own seat, fighting a smile as Kate gave his shoulders a quick squeeze before taking he own spot.

That left one empty space at the table, which Yelena eyed curiously. “I don’t suppose she’s told either of you her plan yet?”

“Nope.” Kate shrugged, “She insists on the drama.”

“Yeah me neith— hang on.” Peter fished his phone out of his pocket, “She just sent me a text: put the phone at my spot at the table.”

They all watched with interest as he did so. The phone laid still for a moment, before it suddenly dissolved onto a pile of black sand.

“What the heck!” Kate exclaimed.

“Wakandan nanotech…” Peter observed reverently, “So cool… wait my phone!”

The nanobots convalesced into a new form resembling a small flattened donut shape, which then began to hover in the air through some invisible means of transport. A moment later, beams of light shot out if the top before creating a holographic image of Shuri in her lab on the air above it. Like them she had donned something a bit fancier for the occasion, wearing a sleek bronze gown that complimented her dark skin gorgeously. “You’re phone will be fine Peter, it’ll change right back when I’m done with it.”

“But the battery…”

“The nanobots are actually solar powered, with a three month lifespan when fully charged.”

“Then why does my phone still die after five hours like the old one?”

She shrugged, “It had to be convincing.”

“You look quite lovely in that dress Shuri..” Yelena cut in, sending Peter a meaningful look.

“Right! Yeah sorry you look beautiful!”

The princess brushed her braids over her shoulder dramatically as she posed for them. “Thank you! I spent a while picking it out. I’m no slouch with aesthetics but I usually direct my attention towards more combat effective designs…”

“You could have fooled me.” Kate eyed her appreciatively.

“You all look even better! The matching suits are… an appreciated choice.”

Kate smirked at Shuri’s tone though didn’t acknowledge it just yet, “Well it wasn’t easy. Peter gets so fussy whenever we try to buy him anything, it took a good deal of… convincing for me to get him into it.”

“Hey!” Peter protested both in embarrassment and indignation as the two women giggled pervertedly.

“You really must get over that милый,” Yelena chided. “Especially if you’re serious about bringing foreign royalty into the relationship.”

“She makes a good point,” Shuri nodded, “Wakandan’s are real big on gift giving and I have more toys to share than most.”

“I’ll work on it.” He promised offhandedly, before frowning uncertainly, “Have you had something to eat? Still not sure if dinner was the best idea…”

“I had breakfast not long ago.” She assured him, “And it’s fine. You all dig in, I’m content to watch and talk with you all. It smells delicious by the way.”

“Why thank you it’s… oh very funny.” Kate rolled her eyes.

“What? I’m not joking. I have a lot of sensors on this thing you know. Including one that can transmit smells.”

Peter narrowed his eyes, “Oh yeah? What’s it called? The Smelloscope?”

“Smellophone actually, since it transmits rather than detects from long distances.”

“You are so ripping off Futurama right now!” He laughed.

“No idea what you’re talking about.” Shuri declared innocently, “Now eat up before it gets cold. Oh and Yelena? How did the stake out go?“

Not well as it turned out. Apparently after watching them for an entire day, she tagged and tracked each of the employee home to find nothing at all of interest.

“It is nothing to be discouraged over.” She assured them, “It is not uncommon for days or even weeks to pass before surveillance yields results.”

“But we can’t ask you to do that!” Kate insisted.

“Yeah I feel bad enough that you wasted an entire day on this.”

“It is really not that—“

“Yelena.” Shuri spoke seriously, “I know that you and I haven’t known each other all that long, but strangely enough, you are not the first formerly mind controlled tool of the soviets that I’ve dealt with.”

Yelena blinked, “Hmm, I thought I was in a more niche category…”

“One thing I’ve noticed in my former patient,” Shuri continued, “is that he often jumped at any and every opportunity to be useful to those around him, regardless of how it inconvenienced himself, as a sort of misguided apology for the things he was forced to do. Do you think this might be something similar?”

Yelena stated at Shuri’s projection while Peter and Kate looked at her with concern.

“…While I will not confirm that, I suppose it is a good thing to remember.”

“We can find another way.” Peter stated, “You have your own life to live,” he hesitated before adding “хорошенькая кошечка…”

Yelena’s head snapped to him with an intense expression, “You’ve been studying?”

He shrunk on himself a bit but nodded, “You kept using that word and I wanted to know what it meant… then I thought it might impress you…”

“It did.” She confirmed, “though you’re pronunciation is a little off.”

“Oh, sorry I—“

“It us all in the way your tongue. I shall show you later, though it is easier just to stick my tongue in and show yours directly…”

“Damn, I should start learning Russian.” Kate mused as she watched Yelena tease and needle Peter like a cat playing with her food.

“I could give you some lessons I’d you’d like,” Shuri spoke up, also enjoying the show beside her, “I’m fluent in many languages, though I’m afraid I can’t yet provide Yelena’s quality of service from the lab.”

“Yet?” Kate quirked an eyebrow at her, interest suddenly peaked.

“I have a few ideas in development, permitting this date goes well of course.”

“Sounds like you’re pretty confident about it.” The archer challenged.

“Well I am a princess. I often get what I want.”

The bratty line forced a laugh from Kate as she raised a glass to Shuri’s projection, “I’m starting to see why.”

They spent much of the rest of the meal like that, having fun with each other, occasionally asking Shuri more about her interests. They had obviously known her passion for science, technology, her country, but when she mentioned with a slightly embarrassed expression that she had a rather expansive Lego model collection she’d started as a child, it was all Peter could do not to shout his excitement. His restrained expression did not go unnoticed by any of his companions. Particularly Kate, who remembered finding a single Lego figure placed lovingly on a counter in Peters apartment. She hadn’t brought it up with him, but seeing his excitement put the pieces together quite clearly.

Soon however, the meal was over, and they moved to the second part of their semi-traditional date: a movie in the living room.

“What do you mean she’s never seen it?!” The outrage on Shuri’s voice was enough for Yelen to start to worry.

“Why is it such big deal? It is just a children’s movie…”

“You literally don’t understand Shuri.” Kate ranted, “She LARPed a Viking during our game.”

“No…”

“She had her hair in the same exact braid.” Peter nodded solemnly.

“No!”

“And she wielded an axe. No idea what we were talking about.”

The princess emitted a sort of choking noise, “I… I’m just… so sorry you had to go through that!”

“Thanks…” Peter and Kate whimpered out.

“Would you all stop whining and play the damn cartoon,” Yelena groaned. “I will see for myself what all the fuss is about.”

They settled into the couch together, with Shuri just hovering nearby, dimming the lights of her projection a bit as How to Train Your Dragon began to play.

Yelena hummed when Astrid was revealed in a fiery explosion, “I suppose I see why you associated us, she’s still too skinny however.”

When Toothless showed up, she idly bitter how pretty he was, causing Shuri to smirk, “They based him off of panthers you know.”

“Oh really?” Peter smirked ip at her, “That’s a pretty random piece of trivia to know.”

“Yes well I just sorta stood out to me.”

Kaye sorted at their banter, “Nerds.”

“You spent seven minutes the other day explaining the mathematical trajectory one would need to fire a ‘boomerang arrow’ in just the right way for it to return to you safely.” Peter deadpanned.

“The dream will become reality!” She hissed vehemently.

The movie continued, showing the bond form between Hiccup and Toothless. The others took great pleasure in watching the stars form in Yelena’s eyes as the black dragons silly side began to show.

“He’s like a giant kitty puppy…” she whispered under her breath.

Eventually the final fight scene came, and the room was tense, no matter how many times one watched it the colossal dragon queen never failed to leave an impression.

Yelena actually gasped when the Fall happened, and gasped even louder when the metal foot was revealed.

When the credits finally rolled, all eyes were on her as they awaited her reaction.

“I did not know children’s movies could be so enjoyable… or intense.”

“Well what kind of movies do you usually watch?” Shuri asked, only to be met with silence. “Oh..,”

“I haven’t really had time.” She explained, a bit of defensiveness entering her tone.

“That’s okay!” Peter assured her quickly, “We get it!”

“This is actually kind of a good thing…” Kate ventured.

“How do you mean?”

“Well there’s only one thing better than watching a really good movie: watching it with someone who hasn’t seen it before!”

“Exactly.” Shuri agreed, “Maybe we could make it a weekly thing? A movie night.” There was another question in her time, one that the other three looked to each other to answer.

“I think that’s a great idea.” Kate smiled.

“Yeah definitely!” Peter smiled wider, obviously relieved that Kate was on board.

“I have a few conditions.” Yelena stated.

“Oh… okay, what?”

“First is that we must watch the next two Dragon movies first.”

Shuri chuckled, “I’ve got time, sure.”

“Also I want a dragon. You and Peter are scientists so you can do that yes?”

“Uh…”

“She’s joking!” Peter assured her, “Probably…”

“If we’re gonna do a marathon though we might want to change into something more comfortable, do mind if I get out of this dress?”

When they told her no, all rather eager to get into something they’d be more comfortable as well, she smiled cheerfully. “Great.”

Then, she simply stood up from the chair she had settled in and pulled the dress up over her head, revealing her thin yet toned in a pair of light blue panties, and nothing else. “Ah, that’s better.”

Yelena eyes her with a blank expression as Peter and Kate sat mesmerized by the sudden move, “That’s a bold choice.”

Shuri shrugged unapologetically, “You all said it was okay.”

Peter shook his head to regain his focus, “Well I, you know—“

“Oh I see! You’re surprised I wasn’t wearing a bra underneath.” She ran a had shown the center of her modest chest, “Well I’ve never really liked wearing them and besides, it’s like you said, I live in Africa, and it gets so very hot over here.”

“I… deserve that.”

Kate bit her lip, “Bit cruel though, pulling something like that from the other end of a screen, knowing they’re nothing we can do about it…”

Shuri blinked, as in her entire image, before reappearing on the TV screen, “Well I wouldn’t say nothing.”

Her floating drone device dropped to the couch next to Peter, before transforming once more into something sleeker, longer, and with an impressive vibrate function.

“I have the remote for its vibrate settings right here,” the princess announced, holding up a small device with one hand, the other trailing down to rub her in her thigh suggestively, “All I need is a helping hand. Peter?”

The young man held up the device, blinking as it vibrated twice like an engine being revved, he glanced at the smiling Shuri watching him from the television screen, before turning to Kate and Yelena, “Guys?”

The blonde shrugged, “I have seen this coming for a while.”

Kate had to tear her eyes away from the image of Shuri innocently running her hands up and down her body as she waited, “I think we’ve waited long enough.”

Peter looked at her closely, “Are you sure? Like sure sure?”

Kate looked at him, then back at Shuri, then back to him, “I’m sure.”

He looked at the device in his hand, then back up at Shuri, “I don’t suppose you could send me my old phone back after this? Might be kinda weird considering.”

Shuri waved him off as his girlfriends began to undress beside him, “Ill buy you a new one.”

He opened his mouth to protest but stopped as he remembered their earlier conversation, “Ugh, fine. Make it one with a good camera?”

“That’s the spirit!” Kate giggled as she grabbed for his pants.

Things got a little hard to track from there, but after some frantic deliberation, it ended up with Kate and Yelena laid on either end of the couch completely bare, their legs spread wide and their arms clutching the couch for leverage as they settled their groins against each other, allowing Peter to slide Shuri’s between their pussies slowly, perched carefully above Kate as they instinctively grinded against each other to better sandwich the device between them.

For her part, Shuri watched them, listening carefully for their whines to speed up or slow down the vibrations as she used one hand to control the device and the other to finger her own dripping slit through her panties, her heavy breaths adding to the chorus of sex that filled the room.

Peter didn’t dare sit idle, using his own fingers and tongue to add stimulation. It got a bit harder however, when Kate grabbed him be the hips and pulled him back so and could start suckling on him from below, though he tried his best to push through all the same.

They continued like that for gods know how long as the energy grew more desperate, until finally Shuri, three fingers inside herself, squeezed her legs together tightly and pushed the vibrator to the highest setting as her fist clenched around the controller.

Kate and Yelena cried out in unison as they were forcefully pushed over the edge, shaking and twitching uncontrollably before Peter finally got the message and pulled the device away from them.

They laid there dazed did a bit, their sexes pressed tightly against one another as Peter climbed off, taking a step back to admire the sight before looking back at Shuri, who was admiring him instead. “This is way better than porn…”

A stray thought slipped out, “Does Wakanda have a porn industry?”

She snickered, “Yes but it’s so boring in comparison to everything else, at least to me. It’s all traditional and vanilla. Nothing like this. Although we appear to have missed the money shot…” she gestured to his still throbbing erection.

“Oh I got it!” Kate declared, shaking her daze away and sitting up. She leaned over Yelena to give her a peck on the nose before separating, unbothered by the thin string of love that connected them as they pulled apart. She got down on her knees in front of Peter before glancing at Shuri with a grin, “Good view?”

Shuri gave her a nod up as she licked her fingers. She began to play with herself once more as she watched Kate begin her work on Peter with new vigor, bobbing her head quickly as he closed his eyes in bliss.

Not to be left out, Yelena slid herself off the couch as well to join Kate. She kissed loving words into her ear while rubbing one hand up and down the younger girls throat as Peters cock began pushing its way deeper. The other hand grabbed its full of Kates lovingly sculpted bubble butt before slipping her fingers under and into her.

Peter groaned as the sight nearly broke him, instead placing his hands on either side of Kates head as she stared up at him with wide blue eyes and began to guide her farther and farther down on him, confident in what she could take after past experiments.

Once she had taken him to the hilt, he began to let himself go, thrusting in an out quickly, both in response to his climax rising fast, and in consideration for Kates incessant need for oxygen.

When he finally reached the mark, he was a bit disappointed to feel her pull off of him, as she would normally keep him in her mouth so she didn’t ‘waste a drop’. He understood however as she and Yelena grabbed hold of him and directed his spurts towards their naked forms, purposefully covering themselves in white decoration as Shuri cried out in ecstasy at the sight.

Peter collapsed on the couch as the post nut haze hit him, joined shortly by Kate and Yelena as everyone caught their breath and settled in to one another. He noted his cum still covering them with a frown, “Won’t that stain the couch? I could get a towel…”

“It’s fine.” Yelena assured him patting the new furniture, “This one won’t stain. I offered it custom after you painted the last one red.”

“Right, sorry…”

“I brought you here. Honestly it was foolish of me not to stain proof the place sooner.”

“Hadn’t you purchased it just that day?” Kate commented.

“No excuses.”

“Wow so you all just sit around and talk normally after all of… that?” Shuri huffed from the screen.

“Well we’re also cuddling,” Kate shrugged, “What else are we supposed to do?”

“I don’t know I…”

“Wait,” Yelena narrows her eyes, “You mean that that was your first time?”

Shuri cleared her throat nervously, “I mean, not my first time like… masturbating, but with other people involved? Yeah…”

“Yes! Thank you god!” Peter cheered.

Shuri raised an eyebrow, “Try to be a little more excited huh?I did not realize that was such a selling point…”

“Oh no no no!” He protested, “I’m not— it’s not a ‘Thank goodness she’s a virgin’ thing, I’m just relieved that I’m not the only one.”

“Seriously? You all seem so comfortable with each other…”

“We’re taking our time building up to it.” Kate explained, “No need to rush anything before anyones ready.”

The princess blanched, “Wait did I—“

“You’re fine.” Yelena assured her, “We would have told you otherwise.”

“Yeah honestly I didn’t expect anything like that on our first date.” Peter admitted, “But I’m definitely glad it happened!”

“You all waited a bit then…”

“Shuri.” Kate spoke firmly, “You have nothing to worry about or be ashamed of. We’re all adults, you obviously had been looking forward to that, and we all had fun. Some people like to get physical early, there’s nothing wrong with it.”

“Right. I mean I knew that. Just making sure you did and all so…”

“You are very cute when you are uncertain.” Yelena observed.

Shuri sputtered as late and Peter laughed at her, “Yeah she’ll do that. Look Shuri if there’s one thing I’ve learned with these two it’s that there’s nothing wrong with indulging… I think I have an idea.”

Kare perked up, peering at him from her spot on his shoulder, “A sexy idea?”

“No a superhero idea!” He declared, standing from the couch to pace back and forth as he pieces the idea into a plan.

“Those are… almost as good.” Kate sighed.

“I assume this has to do with the Tinkerer?” Yelena asked

“Our only lead is the fake storefront” he told them, “Where we can wait for someone to come and commission a suit, or…”

“You do it yourself.” Shuri chimed in. “Wow, nothing like a little post nut clarity to get a guy thinking…”

“Yeah yeah, you’re close but not quite.” He turned to Kate, “A mostly broke college student would seem suspicious coming for a suit out if the blue, you’re well known and Yelena is kinda a ghost background wise. If these guys are smart they’ll notice.. But what if we sent someone else? Someone with money who is known to had attended black market dealings in the past. Someone who is already in a position where a super suit would be helpful…”

Kates eyes widened, “Oh no. That’s…”

“Not a bad idea.”

“It’s not a good one either.” Yelena added, “But with some tweaking it could be.”

“I’m not exactly sure what you’re talking about.” Shuri spoke up, “But if you need help, I have a prototype I’ve been wanting to test out, been waiting to see how the night turned out before sending it your way…”

“I’d say it turned out pretty good.” Peter smirked.

“What if he says he won’t do it?” Kate asked, still coming around to the idea.

Her partners just gave her a look, “You really think he will?”

The young archer thought a bout it, before sighing in resignation. “All right I’ll give him a call.”

Chapter Text

Jack Duquesne was a bit of a fool.

He was a kind, well intentioned fool, which he supposed was better than a normal one, but it still led him to some fairly low points in his life. Particularly in regards to women.

Perhaps it was his fault. He’d grown up in a fantasy after all, daydreaming of knights and chivalry and the like while gallivanting around with his families wealth. His parents had never managed to purchase knighthood for him (as well it should be) but they’d indulged his love for swordsmanship to the fullest.

Problem is, mastering nearly every form of swordsmanship on earth taught you very little about women. The world didn’t operate through chivalry anymore, you couldn’t just save a damsel in distress and call her your wife. Jack had spent many years struggling through the world of dating, searching for someone who could truly understand him.

He’d really thought he found that with Eleanor. Sure she didn’t really ‘understand’ his passion for swords, likening it more to her daughters obsession with archery, but he felt they had made a real connection beyond that.

Turns out he had miscalculated yet again.

That was the last straw on the camels back for him. He was nearly fifty years old and he had still made zero progress in his understanding of the fairer sex. It was time for him to give it a rest, and focus on something more fulfilling.

As it turned out, heroism was the answer. Of course with super soldiers, monsters and gods walking the earth, the things he did could barely be called heroic anymore, but he didn’t let that stop him. Walking the streets with his new companions granted a sense of fulfillment to him that he’d never experienced in all the many follies of his youth and onward.

He even managed to rescue a damsel! He didn’t mention his excitement about it to anyone of course, for a true knight takes joy in peace not conflict, but still! It was all he could do not to smile like an idiot as he dusted the poor woman off after scaring the would be mugger away. She was an absolute mess after it all, and took his offered handkerchief with gratitude when he offered it. He made a note to keep several on him the next time he went out, it wouldn’t do to go unprepared.

He thinks he might have weirded the girl out however, as she kept staring at him with a strange expression as they waited for the police to arrive…

Regardless, he was finally feeling like he was who he was meant to be. That said, when young Kate called him asking if he’d be willing to help them with a super-criminal gang, he probably should have taken a few more moments to consider before blurting his affirmation into the phone.

He entered the small repair shop with a confident expression. That at least, he had mastered years ago.

“Hi! Welcome to Phin’s Fix It!” The girl behind the counter greeted him cheerily, “What can we fix up for you?”

He tried for a dashing smile, something else he’d thought he mastered, though perhaps that was yet another fantasy, “Hello to you as well! Im afraid I come to you today with nothing for you to repair.”

The young lady tilted her head curiously, “Oh? Was there something else you needed then? A specific part you’re hunting for? We have a great deal of extra parts in the back.”

He stepped up and rested an elbow on the counter, “I’m here for a different reason, though I hope you’ll forgive me if I have the wrong idea. You see a dear friend of mine informed me of a rumor. As it goes, this shop of yours is the place to go when you’re in the market for more… exotic fashion trends.”

“Exotic sir?” She asked, though Jack thought he saw a spark of recognition in her eyes.

He reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a roll of cash, “How much for a consultation?”

The girl looked behind him a moment, before reaching under the counter. Something clicked and the sound of gears had Jack turning to see a metal gate closing on the storefront, making sure no one else could come inside.

It also trapped him inside.

Sensing his nervousness the girl chuckled and brought out a stack of paperwork, “Relax, it’s only to give us some privacy. As soon as you’re finished filling out the commission form you’ll be free to go.” She looked him up and down, “Take as much time as you need

He blinked, before nodding and taking the papers. They may be criminals, but they sure seemed intent on quality service if they’re willing to lose valuable business hours on a customer like this.

The paperwork was thankfully pretty straightforward. It asked about color scheme, utility, any preferred special features. He requested bare bones for the most part, in all likelihood he wouldn’t be getting the suit anyway.

He did check the box for fully bulletproof however. For fun. It would be quite vindicating to actually be able to bring a sword to a gun fight.

Once everything was filled out he returned it to the counter, where the girl was waiting with a smile, “Alrighty! I’ll just take that and pencil your fitting in for… Tuesday afternoon?”

“Two days from now?” He frowned.

“Yeah sorry, that’s the closest time the boss has available. Will that be okay?”

No use raising a fuss. It could make her suspicious. “Alright then. Thank you very much!”

He made to turn away but was stopped as she reached out to grab his hand, an almost pleading look in her eye as she held on to him, “Are you sure there isn’t anything else I can help you with?”

Jack was taken aback, before his gaze hardened as he realized what she was really asking. “I’m afraid I have to go, but thank you for asking.”

He exited the store with a contemplative expression. He walked the six blocks they’d agreed on before turning into the nearest alley, which luckily proved to be empty.

Once he’d reached the center, he turned just in time to see four figures descend from above. Three he recognized and one he didn’t.

Peter, or rather, Spider-Man jogged up to him after putting down Kate, “So how’d it go? Did you see him? After the gate came down we were pretty worried…”

He sighed, “I’m afraid I didn’t accomplish much, I am expected back on Tuesday afternoon though so—“

“Jack that’s great!” Kate cheered.

“Very well done.” Yelena nodded.

“I mean he filled out paperwork…” the newcomer muttered.

Jack examined from black suited woman warily, before trying for a friendly smile, “Apologies my dear, I’ve failed to introduce myself.” He held out a hand, “Jacques Duquesne, though all my friends call me Jack.“

The platinum blond haired woman just sniffed her arms crossed defensively, “I’m not your ‘dear’ and I’m not your friend.”

Jack slowly lowered his hand.

Peter glanced at her in surprise, “Jeez Cat no need to be so…”

“Bitchy?” Yelena suggested.

“I was gonna say standoffish…”

“I don’t need to be anything.” Cat assured them, “I shouldn’t even be out here with you all, I don’t know why I let you convince me.”

Peter glanced at Yelena with a confused expression, “Did we even invite her this time?” She just shrugged.

“Regardless you don’t have to be mean to Jack.” Kate stated firmly, “I mean really Felicia there’s no need—“

Felicia hissed at the taller girl, “Don’t just say my name!”

“It’s fine! Jack already knows who Spider-Man, and he doesn’t even know who you are.”

“That is true.” Jack chimes back in, uncertainly, “Please believe me I meant no offense…”

“Whatever…”

“Well I guess we’ll meet back up on Tuesday.” Peter led on, eager to change the subject. “Thanks again for doing this Jack.”

“My pleasure.” He assured them, “Although, before you go I wanted to mention: it seems the counter girl is there under duress…”

Yelena frowned, “What makes you say that? I checked them all, they showed no signs of blackmail or distress.”

“Well she grabbed me on the way out and though she didn’t say it outright the look in her eyes… well it was a cry for help if I ever did see one.”

The young heroes looked to each other for a moment before nodding to him, “We’ll look into it.”

Jack nodded to them before saying his goodbyes. He walked out of the alley with a lighter step than he entered it with.

He may not be the shining knight he dreamt of as a child, but he could at least point the true knights in the right direction. That was enough.

When Jack finally walked out of earshot, Kate was the first to break the silence, “So she was totally—“

“Definitely.” Yelena confirmed, “Those ‘shop-workers are making six figures. They aren’t looking to be rescued.”

Peter laughed, “At least we know he’s taking this seriously.”

“Still, what are we supposed to do in the meantime?” Kate asked.

“I think I shall call Jessica.” Yelena announced, “I have not had a proper drink in a while after all.”

“Just the two of you or do you want company?” Kate asked, trying to sound enthusiastic.

Yelena snickered, “Do not feel obligated, I am not sure you would enjoy yourself as much as we will.”

“Oh good…” Peter sighed, “Jessica’s a bit…”

“Bitchy?” Kate suggested before her eyes lit up and turned to Felicia, “Maybe you should go! I’d bet you’d get along great…”

“Haha.” Felicia deadpanned while holding up a single finger to show her appreciation. “Sadly I’m busy tonight. Doing some recon on my new target.”

“New target?” Peter questioned, “I thought you said you’d keep us informed on that.”

“I did and I am.” She shrugged, “you’ve just been informed.”

“I don’t know… maybe I should go with you.”

The thief gave him a sultry smile, “Oh? Looking to spend more time alone with me? Really Spider how shameless can you be?”

“Yeah yeah, obviously Kate will—“

“Pass.”

Peter looked at her in shock, “What do you mean?”

“Sorry babe but stealth has never really been my forte and I haven’t sat down and done inventory of all my gear in a while. Would kind of suck if I went out one night and my bowstring snapped.”

“We really should fix that.” Yelena mused, “The stealth part that is.”

“I don’t know…” Kate put on an uncertain act. “I just don’t feel properly motivated…”

Yelena stepped closer, “Oh? Why don’t I motivate you then?”

Kate grinned, looking down at the tigress mischievously, “What did you have in mind?”

“Well I could—“

“Okay!” Felicia interjected, “I’m gonna head out now before you all start you’re lovey dovey crap and I get nauseous.” She raised an arm and fired a grappling line to the roof, stopping to look at Peter. “Follow if you want, I’m not waiting up:”

As she zipped into the air, Peter looked at his partners in bewilderment, “What are you doing to me right now?”

“Oh do not tell me you are scared to be alone with the pretty little Pussycat?” Yelena cooed.

“Yes! I am! Have you met her?”

“You’ll be fine Peter,” Kate chuckled, “It’s not like anything will happen. Although if it does pics or it didn’t—“

“Be serious.”

“I am. I wasn’t lying earlier, I had stuff to do, and stealth isn’t my area of expertise. It might do you some good to tar pointers from Black Cat, you crawl on the ceiling yet you’re as stealthy as I am…”

“It is a travesty.” Yelena nodded.”

Peter groaned, before firing a web line, “Fine…”

“Love you!”

“Love you too.” A smile forced its way through his grumpiness as he yanked himself into the air once more.

He only barely caught a glimpse of Felicia’s form and sped after it, having to push himself a bit just to keep up with her.

When he finally did however, she glanced at him, shot him a wink, and began to actually move.

It was a challenge if he ever saw one, and one he couldn’t bring himself to ignore.

Literally. He would have lost her otherwise and she never actually told him where they were going.

Turns out it was a rather modest apartment building, at least in comparison to her last target. Peter landed on the roof first with gasping breaths, and was secretly pleased when she landed a moment later, breathing just as hard, if not worse.

“I win.” He huffed.

“Who said we were racing?” She challenged.

He blinked, “But you were—“

“Grow up Spider, we have work to do.” She cut him off, bridging past him to crawl down the side of the building, using her claws to dignified the brickwork.

“She’s just saying that cause she lost.” He assured himself before following after.

She led him down to a seventh story window, clinging to the lip with one hand while she reached into a pocket he hadn’t even realized she has and pulled out a thin flat piece of metal, sharpened on one end

Peter gave her a look, “Is that a ruler? Kinda figured you for the more sophisticated type of burglar, where’s the glass cutter?”

She rolled her eyes before jamming this piece under the window and breaking it open with a quick wrist turn, “More sophisticated burglars leave no evidence. I could do that but putting giant holes in jackasses windows is all part of the fun. I’ll save that for the actual heists however, it’s called being subtle, ever heard of it?”

Peter glanced down at his bright red and blue costume, “Is that French for something?”

She pushed up the window and crawled in smoothly, granting him a premier view of her backside as she wiggled herself in. Not that he was looking of course.

He was just admiring the craftsmanship of the suit. Truly amazing how the machinery was so effective yet still appeared skin tight

The apartment wasn’t anything to sneeze at but wasn’t nearly as lavish as he was expecting.

“Not really much to rob is there?” He observed aloud.

She sniffed, “Yeah well, guys like this tend to keep as low a profile as possible. I’ll look around find some cash, but really this is more a matter of integrity.”

“Guys like this? You mean jerks?”

“Worse.” She stated darkly, “Come on, if I find what I’m looking for, you’ll see for yourself.”

As they searched the place, a loud knock sounded and Peter felt his heart skip a beat, “What was that?!”

“Just the neighbors.” Felicia deadpanned.

“How exactly do you know he won’t be home soon?”

“Because I planned his schedule for today.” She stated simply, before she eyed a laptop, “There we are.”

Peter watched with interest as she opened the device and clicked in a password, only to sigh as her attempt failed. “Looks like he uses a different password than his office computer.”

“Isn’t that normal?”

“You’d be supposed how lazy people can be with their passwords. I can try a few variations but I don’t know if it has an attempt limit…”

“Can I try something?” He asked.

She looked uncertain but handed it to him anyways, only to cry out in alarm as he swiftly ripped open the circuitry.

“What are you doing!”

“Relax!” He shushed her, reconnecting wires with nimble fingers, “My old friend showed me this trick, pretty lucky this is a similar model… tada!” He snapped it back together and powered it up.

Felicia gaped as the screen showed the computer unlocked, completely bypassing the password screen. “Damn… so you’re a tech geek too huh?”

“You say thank you in the sweetest ways. Also no, I’m more of a chemist, I just had a really talented best friend.”

She began browsing through the data, looking through folders until she finally found what she was looking for. “Bingo. Unmarked, absurdly hidden folder with terabytes of data…”

Peter frowned, “We’re here to get his porn stash?”

“Not just any porn stash.” She clicked on the link.

Peter had to turn away immediately, before bile could ride up and soil his mask. “Turn it off.”

“Look I don’t like—“

“Turn it off!” He snapped, surprising even himself with the ferocity he displayed.

Only silence answered him, followed by a slow click, “It’s off.”

He slowly turned back to see she spoke the truth, sighing in relief before glaring at her. “What is wrong with you?”

She glared back defensively, “Hey it wasn’t like I was showing it to you to be funny.”

“Those were kids!” He snapped, “Why would you show me at all?”

“To make sure you reacted appropriately?”

“How else would I… oh fuck you!” He turned to stomp away, but stopped himself as he realized he couldn’t just leave things be.

“Hey you can’t blame me for checking. It’s not my fault the majority of men hide sick twisted fantasies. But hey, you don’t, congrats!”

“The majority of—what are you talking about?” He looked back at her in disbelief.

She scoffed in irritation, before forming back to the computer, “Whatever. It doesn’t matter. I’ll just download the evidence and—“

“What? No! We should delete it!”

She frowned, “It’s evidence Spider, why the hell would we delete it?”

“You think the kids in those photos would appreciate more people seeing them like that?”

“That’s out of our control!” She stood up, “I don’t know what world you live in but this one is dark, and ugly. These pictures weren’t taken by this guy he found them online, through the dark web. There’s nothing we can do but give this guy what’s coming to him and hope the people in Cyber crime are actually doing their job.”

Peter looked at her, anger ebbing, and heart slowing down, “Ri… right… I…”

Felicia’s features softened a bit at his hesitation, “Look… I shouldn’t have just sprung that on you. Now that I think about it… it wasn’t the most well thought out idea…”

“It really wasn’t.” He agreed “But you’re right about not deleting it… I just wasn’t prepared…. You do what you need to. I think I’ll wait outside.”

She stared after him. “Okay.”

He caught his breath outside, taking refuge in the roof and resting against an AC unit. He lost track of time as he controlled his breathing, and before he realized it, Felicia was standing before him. “Spider…”

He fought a flinch before getting to his feet, “Got it?”

She dangled a flash drive into the air. “All good. Are you good?”

“Yep.” He answered much too quickly. “Is that it?”

“For now.” She answered, “I have his downfall planned out perfectly. ‘Course the bastard didn’t offer anything withheld stealing but hey, I can do freebies every now and then.”

He snorted, “How generous. Well I guess good night? I’m gonna start patrol so…”

“Not gonna ask me to come with you again?”

“You didn’t seem to keen on it last time.”

“I’m still not.” She frowned, “But you look like you might keel over from a light breeze. I could let you go alone but I know if something happened to you the harem will blame me—“

“Not a harem.” He answered reflexively, “and I’m fine, just a little off, understandably might I add.”

“Fine if you don’t want me—“

“I didn’t say that!” He corrected quickly, eliciting a chuckle.”

“Alright then Spider-Man, lead the way.”

They didn’t race this time (and they WERE racing earlier he was ninety nine percent certain) but they kept a good pace. Though he’d never say it, it was his first time patrolling with someone where he didn’t have to slow himself down.

They ran across the usual riffraff. Purse snatchers, break ins, muggers. Peter was a little worried the first time they engaged a group, considering he’d only seen Felicia fight with her diamond cat claws, but she surprised him yet again by utilizing several forms of martial arts to take on the crooks with ease. Sure the suit helped, but he doubted it made that much of a difference.

Then they ran across the worst kind of assault, and the nearly recovered good mood was torn away in an instant.

They both shot forward to intervene. Peter landed between the looming man and the young girl, shaking with her clothes half ripped away.

Black Cat landed on the scumbag. Her claws were already out and tearing into him, eliciting agonized screams and frightened yelps from the man and girl respectively.

With growing horror Peter realized she had no intention of stopping until the man was dead, and he rushed forward, body checking her across the alley.

She recovered quickly, standing up to snarl at him, “What the fuck was that for?”

He webbed the bleeding man to the ground, “He’s down Cat!”

“He’s still breathing!”

“We don’t kill!”

“You don’t kill!” She hissed, “Get out of the way.”

Peter ignored her, turning to the girl, “Are you okay?”

The girl looked more confused than scared at this point, “Y-yeah? He didn’t… you got here in time. Thank you!”

“Glad to hear it. You should leave.”

She looked about to agree, but her eyes widened at the last moment. “Look out!”

He didn’t need the warning, his spider sense screaming at him loud enough already. His hand shot out to grab Felicia’s wrist before his head turned to slowly face her. “Cat… don’t do this.”

Her fist stopped an inch from his face as she glared at him, “You don’t have to watch. Just take the girl and do your ‘knight in shining armor’ thing.”

“I’m a bit busy doing the ‘friend’ thing.” He shot back. “Stand down, please, this isn’t you.”

“You don’t know me Spider, if you did you wouldn’t be stopping me.” Her other hand shot forward.

Peter was only vaguely aware of the girl running out of the alley as he fended off Felicia’s attacks. She had returned to punching and kicking rather than slicing his face off which made him feel a little bit better, though not much.

“What happened to harmless crimes?” He questioned, jumping over a leg sweep with ease. “Last I checked murder isn’t harmless!”

“Is it really murder in this case?” She spat back, jumping back to fire her hook at him “Feels more like community service!”

He barely caught the hook, momentarily distracted as he noticed it was shaped like a clawed cat paw. Felicia tried to retract it, but he simply pulled her towards him. She flew through the air only for him to catch her, sticking his hand firmly to her abdomen. “Cats always land on their feet right?”

Her eyes widened, “Don’t you dare…”

“Going up!” He shouted before heaving her into the air. She yelled angrily as she sailed up and onto the roof.

He spared the bloodied man one more disdainful glance before webbing himself after her.

To his relief, she was no worse for wear when he landed on the roof, aside from a heavily bruised ego.

He held his hands out, “Felicia this isn’t the way, please stop before this goes too far.”

“Who gave you the right to decide how far I can go?”

“I’m trying to help—“

“I don’t need your help! You have no concept of how I feel! How any woman feels in a situation like that! You’ve never had to worry about walking home at night! You’ve never had to worry about whether your ‘friend’ is really your friend of just waiting for a chance to get you alone! You’ve never been raped!”

The last word rung out across the rooftop with a particularly harsh edge do it, and the silence that followed was all the more deafening for it.

Felicia watched as the hero struggled to find words for her, looking more and more upset with every moment. It gave he time to think back to the erratic behavior he’d exhibited earlier, and a horrible theory began to form.

“Wait… you—“

“You’re right.” He cut her off stiffly, “I’m sorry if that’s what happened to you Felicia, I really am, but it’s not an excuse for me to stand aside and watch you make a mistake you can never fix.” He paused as sirens began to grow, apparently the girl had called the police while they were fighting.

“Spider I —

“I’m going to make sure the guy is taken care of.” He stated, “I’m sorry I dragged you into this… it was obviously a mistake.” With that he turned and stepped off the roof, leaving the white haired thief alone with her thoughts.

Though a few of them still urged her to go back and finish the job in the alley, the majority of them ended with ‘How badly did I just fuck up?’

Chapter Text

Felicia didn’t wait around for Spider-Man to finish with the police. She didn’t sense he was interested in speaking to her anymore that night.

Still, she couldn’t bring herself to go home. The clenched feeling in her chest wouldn’t allow for rest or relaxation. She needed to talk to somebody about what happened.

Unfortunately the list of people who would understand or even knew that she ran around in black and white was severely limited. Of the options she had, only one promised the least bullshit, so with a quick text, a long trek and and a wardrobe change, she made her way into possibly the seediest looking bar in Manhattan.

Navigating through the horde of half-cognizant partygoers was bothersome enough, ad the thumping hype music that blasted throughout did nothing to help her.

Eventually however she found her quarry, who appeared to be in the middle of a competition.

Yelena and Jessica both held full bottles of tequila over their heads, draining the containers in unison as they each strived to finish first.

Felicia could only stare as they got closer and close, until finally both bottles were empty, Yelena’s bottle hitting the bar a moment before Jessica’s did. “Shit!”

Yelena through her fists up, hips swaying and shoulders shimmying to the beat as she celebrated her victory.

“How the fuck do you keep beating me? If you’re hiding that amulet somewhere I swear to god…”

“Do not be so butthurt Jess!” Yelena chided, “There is no Shane in losing to a seasoned, strong, healthy Russian woman such as myself.”

“Fuck off! Being Russian doesn’t mean shit.”

“You are free to have opinions, you are also free to be wrong.” Yelena’s eyes, always scanning her surroundings, suddenly landed in Felicia, “Ah! Our party crasher has arrived!”

She stepped forward with a pinched expression, “Didn’t intend to ruin the fun…”

“What fun?” Jessica scoffed, “So far it’s just been her kicking my ass all night.”

“Well it wouldn’t be very sportsmanlike to let you win.“ she reasoned, “what kind of friend would I be?”

“Not friends…”

Rather than argue verbally, Yelena just widened her eyes and stick her bottom lip out.

Jessica frowned. “Stop that.”

The lip jutted out even further and began to quiver as Yelena pouted.

“You’re freaking me out with that, quit it.” Rather than stop, the blonde chased Jessicas gaze around as she tried to lean back and kept looking at her, pestering her with it so much that she neatly looked ready to bolt, though having been around Yelena long enough she likely realized how in effective that would be.

“Holy shit fine!” She finally groaned, “We’re friends damn it…”

The pout slid away easily, “Well of course we are!” She then took it a step farther and pulled Jessica into side hug, grinning happily all the while.

Jessica just glared at anything and everything as their cheeks were smushed together, before looking at Felicia, “Got something to say kid? Preferably something to distract her from… this shit?”

Felicia glanced around “it’s probably better to talk about it outside…”

Yelena released the grouchy woman with a raised eyebrow, “Why?”

“Well it pertains to a certain arach—“

“Hold that thought.” She was cut off, “Jess look, he’s coming!”

Her companion looked where she was pointing and snorted, “Called it. Less than thirty minutes, pay up.”

They exchanged cash as Felicia noticed a rather greasy haired man walk up in an expensive looking suit, a gaggle of buddies crowding behind to watch the show.

“Hey.” He smirked, “Noticed you from across the room.”

“Oh really?” Yelena gushed, horrifying Felicia as she put on a ditsy American accent and giggled alongside Jessica.

“Oh yeah,” he grinned, “You both looked so lonely over here so I thought I’d come say hello.”

“Oh how thoughtful!” The sweetness dripping from Jessicas voice nearly made her vomit, “What’s your name?”

“Call name Trey,” he stepped up to the bar, putting a hand on the small of their backs, “How about I buy you ladies something to drink?”

‘Was he just not looking when they downed that tequila’ she thought to herself. The bottles were literally right in front of them.

“Hmm, what do you think ‘Lena?” Jessica asked with faux consideration. Not that the man noticed.

“Well he is pretty cute, and well dressed.” Yelena patted his chest appreciatively, “I think I have a better idea though.”

Treys leering grin grew wider, “And what’s that?”

“You could go fuck yourself.” Jessica answered bluntly, forgoing sweetness for bitter disgust.

“Or you could try one of your handsome buddy’s over there!” Yelena didn’t drop her own façade but that did very little to hide the venom in her words.

The smirk faded and Treys face turned red, “You fuckin… I’m just trying to be nice!”

“You’re just trying to be ‘fuckin’.” Jessica corrected, “Really guy? Two at once? With your face?”

“Damn cunts!” He stepped back a bit and looked ready to say or do more, but he paused as he finally noticed Felicia, standing by awkward and alone.

A split second decision had him spitting at their feet, “You know what, to hell with both of you,” he eyed her hungrily as he stalked up and grabbed her by the arm, “What’s up sweetness? You nicer than those frigid bitches over there?”

Felicia stared at the man, before slowly leaning over to look at Yelena and Jessica behind him. The simply stared at her in anticipation, offering no advice.

She looked down at the unwanted hand clutching her wrist, then at the overly confident face attached to it.

Maybe at an earlier part of the night she’d have the mental fortitude to make a better choice, but as it was her fist was already connected with his face.

Though the music still pulsed, there was a distinct lull in the atmosphere as everyone watched the man fly back. Then his buddies got over their shock and rushed in to help.

Felicia got in a ready stance, prepared to take them all on to let off some steam, but as they reached her, she was suddenly joined by Jessica and Yelena.

“You’re doing it all wrong kid!” Jessica scolded as she caught a punch and twisted the man’s arm into an unnatural position, “You’re supposed to antagonize them until they swing first.” She tossed the weeping man into another one that charged toward her, “That way it’s technically self defense if the cops check the cameras.”

“You guys were trying to start a bar fight?!” She asked, flipping over one man to land her feet in the face of another. She then proceed to launch off said face to slam her face into the back of the first man’s head.

“How else are we supposed to have fun while drinking?” Yelena deadpanned, voice normal as two men approached her at once, only to get wrecked before they realized what was even happening.

“Yeah this is what? Our third brawl tonight?”

“Well there was that scrap in the bathroom…”

“That didn’t count! There was only two of them!”

Yelena chuckled, looking at Felicia, “Jess has a very strong nose for assholes. It is very impressive.”

The investigator made a face, “That sounds… about as gross as it is. What can I say? I have a lot of experience.”

Bit of a strange way to spend free time, particularly when Yelena already spent most nights getting in fights anyway, but Felicia reasoned that bad brawls had a certain charm to them that other confrontations simply lacked.

Alcohol namely.

Soon they were stumbling out the back door, knuckles stinging and genuine laughs bubbling from the two older women.

Felicia might have joined, but her problem that night wouldn’t be resolved with a scrap.

“Yelena.” She spoke up, as they made their way down the alley, presumably to destroy another bar. “Its about Spider-Man.”

The laughing blonde froze, before turning to her, “Is he hurt?”

She paused, “Not physically? I mean I kind of attacked him but—“

“Ah and you decided to come and face your death head on? How noble, and convenient for me.”

Felicia stepped back nervously, unable to gauge whether she was joking or not, “I didn’t even land a hit!”

“I assumed as much, still it is the principle of the thing you know?”

“But—“

“Just tell us what happened.” Jessica interrupted, nudging Yelena ruefully, “At the very least it will tell you how painful her death should be.”

Yelena considered before shrugging and giving Felicia a look. “Talk.”

So she did. She told them about the laptop, about Spiders reaction, how they went out and found the assault, and finally how he stopped her.

“I just… I don’t understand why he had to stop me!” She confessed.

“He is Spider-Man.” Yelena answered, matter-of-factly, “He doesn’t let people die if he can help it.”

Jessica nodded in agreement “Kid may be obnoxious but he’s damn good about that…”

“But this wasn’t just any person! What he was trying to do.:. There’s got to be limits right? Especially since…”

“What?”

Felicia frowned, “Has he… look you’re his girlfriend, this is only a theory but if it’s true and you didn’t know I’d feel like a dick to out him but—“

“You think he’s been assaulted before?” Yelena guessed.

The thief blinked, “You knew?”

“I do not know.” She corrected, “I simply suspect. What makes you think so?”

“I… got emotional. Yelled at him. I thought he was being lenient because he didn’t understand what it was like, the way… the way I know. But when I told him so… Well, for guy who hides his face, it’s pretty easy to get a read on him.”

Yelena sighed, “He is a terrible liar, adorably so, but I really must teach him.”

“You don’t seem worried…”

“I am. But I also trust him. He’s given me no reason not to, and I was definitely looking. If something did happen, it’s something he’s prefer to deal with alone, and until it is clear he cannot, I will respect it.”

“You had suspicions though?” Jessica spoke up, perma-glare momentarily set aside.

“Yes well… he has never been very forward in the bedroom. There is being kind and respectful, and then there is him.”

“You mean you haven’t—“

“Oh no we have!” She assured her friend with a fond laugh, “Not all the way, but he is quite the attentive student and a fine lover. Such king and nimble fingers...”

Felicia fought off a flush she tried to regain control of the conversation, “Okay but if he was hurt, then why would he stop me from killing that guy?”

“Because he believes it is the right thing. Make no mistake, he’s told me himself he feels the same overwhelming and justified wrath that you do. but he proves his strength through his self control, rather than a high body count. As an assassin it was a foreign concept at first but I’ve come to respect it, as he respects me in turn.”

Felicia boy her lip, “So if he tried to stop you from killing someone, who you knew deserved to die…”

“I would stop.”

“Just like that?”

“Yes. We are lovers, but we are also different people. We each have lines we are and are not willing to cross, one of his just happens to he letting people die if he can stop it.”

She frowned, “Wouldn’t you resent him though?”

“Maybe. Of course I would likely just kill the persons without him knowing about it, rather than involve him at all. Ask forgiveness, not permission.”

Felicia leaned on a wall, studying the two women curiously, “You’re both taking all this really well. No gasps of shock learning I was raped?”

Jessica snorted humorlessly. “Join the club. An asshole with mind control powers had me at his will for months. He didn’t just use me as muscle…”

Yelena looked at her in disbelief, “You were mind controlled and raped?”

“Yeah? No need to get all emotional I’m—“

“I was mind controlled and raped!“

“…your shitting me. Kilgrave got you too?”

“Well no I was chemically controlled by the organization that raised me to kill people. It’s not exactly the same but they’d send me on honeypot missions more times than I can count while I was under—“

“That counts.” Jessica grunted. “Damn… small world.”

“We are like twinsies!”

“That’s an incredibly childish way to react to a disgusting and morose situation but… sure why not.”

Yelena just smiled at her like she’d just learned they wore the same perfume.

“So what should I do?” Felicia asked, “I’m pretty sure I pissed him off, but I don’t exactly feel bad about what I was doing… e I?”

Jessica shrugged, “I killed my abused, worlds definitely better for it.”

“My sister and I killed many people from the red room as well, but I think you are asking the wrong question. You don’t feel bad about the attempted murder, but you do feel bad yes?”

“Yeah…”

“And that is because…”

The platinum blonde scowled, “It’s like… he was disappointed in me. And I shouldn’t really care but it keeps gnawing…”

“He does have that effect.” Yelena agreed. “Well you could either ask forgiveness, or pretend like nothing happened next time you see him.”

“Won’t that be awkward?”

“Yes.”

“Then why would you suggest it?!”

“Because it’s an option. By the sound of it it was just as upsetting an experience for him, if not more. If you don’t mention it, he might not either.”

“Of course your friendship, relationship or whatever you have going on will probably be damaged forever after.” Jessica chimed in helpfully.

“That is also true.”

“Great.” Felicia pushed off the wall, “So awkward conversation or—“

“Losing any chance of winning his heart.” Yelena nodded solemnly.

She received a bewildered look, “Wny would I—“

“Why does he have two girlfriends already?” Jessica challenged, “Shits weird.”

“Three actually.” Yelena corrected.

“Oh, no shit? Who’s the third?”

“Princess of Wakanda.”

“Right, shoulda fucking guessed…”

“I don’t like him.” Felicia insisted, “I don’t even know what he looks like!”

“And now you may never know.” Yelena walked up and put a hand on her shoulder. “It is up to you Pussycat. Also—“ Felicia hit the sidewalk, gasping for breath after getting sucker punched in the gut, “Do not attack my милый again, or I will do worse. Bye!” She waved cheerfully.

With that she was left alone, sucking in air as Jessica and Yelena strolled off, chatting casually about which bar to destroy next.

At least it gave her time to think.

When Tuesday finally arrived Peter was shocked to see Felicia show up.

He honestly thought he’d driven her away for good before. He couldn’t blame her, not really. He knew how it feels to have someone stop you from killing someone who deserves it.

Only difference was he was stopped by an alternate version of himself, so it was kinda hard to stay mad about it.

Her frustrated revelation had sent him reeling, as well as shaking the mental box where he kept some of his most unsavory memories. The look on her face showed he had done a poor job of hiding it too.

So maybe it hadn’t just been her avoiding him.

“Hey…” he greeted as she landed on the rooftop. They were set up on a rooftop a ways down the street from the shop, watching over Jack as he made his way towards the appointment.

“Hey.” She answered, equally awkward which made him feel a little bit better. “Listen Spider…”

“I really do care about what you have to say.” He cut her off, “But we kind of need to focus… talk after?”

“Right.” She nodded, stiffly, eyes flicking over his shoulder nervously. He turned to look but all he saw was Yelena doing inventory, looking the picture of innocence.

Kate leaned towards him, “Am I missing something?” He hadn’t told her or Yelena about what happened. Some things just weren’t his business to share, even if Felicia did attack him.

“Nothing too important right now.”

“Tch…” he winced as Felicia gritted her teeth, obviously taking his words worse than he meant them. She regained her composure however, “I came to help.” At his anxious stare she rolled her eyes, “On your terms. I promise.”

He nodded to her, “Alright, thanks Cat.”

“So got a plan? Or are you sending ‘Sir Jack’ there into the lions nest alone again?”

“Actually he’s not alone this time. Shuri’s with him, kind of.”

“Kind of?”

“Yelena?” He asked. She nodded and pulled Shuri’s spy device out of her vest before tossing it in the air. It caught itself by beginning to hover. It then projected a small image of Shuri above it.

“Hello! Oh Felicia! So nice to see you in person, so to speak.”

“Uh, yeah hi.”

“He’s heading in now Shuri.” Peter spoke up. “Is it ready?”

“Is it ready?” She mocked, “Who do you think you are talking to? Pulling up live feed now.” He image was replaced with a bouncing camera footage of the front of the repair shop.

“That’s it? A camera?” Felicia asked? More out of confusion than derision.

“For now.” Shuri’s voice sounded from the floating device, “I wouldn’t want to spoil the surprise…”

Their conversation died off as they watched Jack enter the building.

There was a man behind the counter this time, yet the moment he saw Jack he smiled in recognition, “Mr. Duquesne! Right on time! One moment please?” He bent down and flicked the switch to lock down the store, before popping back up with a smile and opening a door to the back for him, “Right this way!”

“Much obliged.” Jack nodded, following him in.

They watched with rapt attention as he was led into the same part of the shop they had explored before, where they failed to find anything of note. Peter felt a pang of frustration when the employee simply tugged a certain wrench on the wall down and activated a hidden door.

“Psh.” Shuri heckled, “You call that a secret entrance? Anyone could find that if they tried. The Palace has way better tunnels…”

“Right…” Peter agreed eyeing the others nervously, “Anyone…”

They all kept their mouth shut.

The entrance led to a set of stairs. Rather low tech from a guy called the Tinkerer, though Peter supposed cost effectiveness had to factor in at some point.

They spiraled down a few stories before opening up into a moderate sized laboratory, filled with rough looking mechanical creations. Honestly to Peter it looked like a low budget Stark lab wannabe cut again, cost effectiveness.

There in the middle of the room, was a small rotund man fiddling aimlessly with a few spare parts.

“That’s the Tinkerer?” Kate snorted.

“Yeah, he tinkers, he’s not really built for much else.” Felicia confirmed.

“Mr. Duquesne!” The man exclaimed when he noticed the new arrival, “I’ve got it all set up for you! Are you ready to try it on?”

“It’s already finished? You didn’t even take any measurements…”

“Not to worry! We analyzed the camera footage of you visiting before to determine your proportions.”

“Impressive…”

They watched in fascination as Jack was presented with the suit in a case, sending a pang over nostalgia as Peter remembered his first super suit.

Felicia broke the silence first, “Okay so he’s here, we’re here… do we go in or not?”

He opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off by the Tinkerer, “So what kind of mischief are you planning on getting up with this?”

“No mischief my friend! You see, I am the Swordsman! I shall use this augment to protect the innocent!”

“Laying it on a bit thick isn’t he?” Peter commented.

“He is nervous.” Yelena nodded, “We… might want to go in soon.”

Laughter sounded over the feed, and Jacks view turned abruptly to view a new figure in the room.

It was remarkable he had remained so quiet, considering he was a towering man covered head to toe in powered armor. It was big and bulky, with quilted patterns over it, and a strange yellow and bronze color scheme.

The man sported oversized gauntlets as well, more armored than ever before, but Peter had no doubts on what they were capable of.

“A hero huh? Not very heroic coming to us is it?”

The Tinkerer sighed, “Herman…”

To his credit, Jack held his ground as Herman came to tower over him. “Ah well, you’ve got me there I suppose. Although nobody ever said you had to be a good person to be a superhero. Look at Heracles! He murderer his wife and children and yet us renown as the greatest hero of all time!”

A snorting sound came from behind Herman’s mask, his glowing yellow eyes inexpressive but the shaking of his body showed his amusement, “That is fucked man!”

“Yes the Greeks often were.”

The laughter faded, “And how do we know you won’t take this suit and use it to screw us over? You wouldn’t be the first one to do so…”

“Ah but to turn you in would be to incriminate myself as well.” Jack countered, “I assure you I have no intention of doing so. What you all do may be… questionable, but you have to break a few eggs to get a golden one right?”

“Uh… sure?”

“I think he’s doing fine.” Kate smiled, “Let’s move in slow and careful while he keeps them busy.”

The image was shut off but Shuri’s drone followed them with the audio as they carefully made their way to the shops roof once more. Felicia repeated her trick with the matter phase shifter and they dropped in as quietly as possible.

Luckily the employee had retreated to the counter, idly scrolling through his phone to pass the time, which kept him from noticing the trespassers behind him.

“It was this one right?” Kaye whiskers before tugging on the wrench. Sure enough the stairway was revealed to them as well.

“This is going pretty smoothly.” Peter noted. “I don’t like it.”

“Me neither,” Yelena agreed. “Be careful.”

“Always.”

Peter led the way down the stairs. Mostly because if there l were traps, he was the most likely to survive them, with Yelena being a close second.

Surprisingly however, they met zero resistance, and soon were a turn away from the main room. Peter leapt to the ceiling, “I’ll go above, get the drop on them, you all come out when I have their attention.”

They agreed and he crept slowly along the ceiling of the stairwell well until he entered the room, waiting patiently to make sure no one was watching as he climbed up the wall and into the shadowy support rafters above.

Jack was in the middle of being shown how to equip the suit, and Peter had to admit, it was damn cool. He had kept the black and purple color scheme, with a few patches of silver plating on the arms and neck, a bit reminiscent of old fashioned chainmail. The coolest part was probably the mask, though it’s resemblance to a power rangers helmet likely had him a bit biased.

“You should have mentioned you liked swords.” The Tinkerer chatted, not unlike a barber fixing his hair as they put the finishing touches on the suit, “I could have made something cool for you, for an extra fee if course. Still could…”

Jack laughed, “I did not know! I was under the impression you only did armor!”

“I do all sorts of stuff man. Give me a dat and I bet I could get you the closest thing to a lightsaber that’s scientifically possible.”

“I… appreciate the offer but I prefer my sabers with a bit of weight to them…”

“What? No I was… oh never mind.”

“Honestly with the quality of your work so far I worry any sword you make would be too effective. It’s hard enough avoiding lethal blows with a regular blade.”

Peter quietly made his way directly over Herman, clocking him as the deadliest threat in the room if the buzzing in his head was anything to go by.

“Well you’re not wrong. I suppose working with Spider-Man puts certain limits in you huh?”

Jack froze

Peter froze.

Herman chuckled.

Before Jack could move, the Tinkerer pulled out a remote and pressed a button, locking Jacks suit in place as well as well as bringing an iron gate down on the stairwell entrance.

“Did you really think we would fall for something like this? It’s honestly kind of insulting. So here’s the deal Spider-Boy, you come out and surrender right now, or I detonate Jacks suit while he’s still inside it.”

Peter cursed under his breath before dropping down to reveal himself, “Alright! Just don’t hurt him!”

“Holy shit that worked…” Tinkerer muttered.

“Of course it worked!” Herman spat before stepping up to tower over Peter. “We finally meet again after all these years…”

Peter tilted his head a bit, “We’ve met?”

Herman choked, before his mask hissed and opened to reveal his face, “You don’t remember me? We fought before!”

“I’ve fought a lot of bad guys dude, you’ll have to be more specific…”

“I tracked you down to that high school!”

“Ohhhh! That was you? You know with all the buses you destroyed they almost didn’t get to go on their end of year field trip!”

“Do I look like I— argh!” He snarled, mask fitting into place once more, “Whatever punk, you won’t forget me after tonight, or anything ever again.”

Peter waited, his senses buzzing constantly at him. What’s that brain? He’s in danger? He hadn’t noticed.

It seemed the others were waiting for the right moment to come in and help. That was good, although he wasn’t entirely sure what the solution was yet.

Even more confusing was that Herman hadn’t done anything yet, despite his spider sense blaring more and more as the seconds passes, “What you trying to kill me with suspense or—“ vemovemovemoVEMOVEMOVE!

He barely flipped out of the way as something embedded itself in the floor where he stood. A wicked looking imitation of a stinger , attached to a long mechanical limb that ended at the base of a new figures back. This one also wore power armor, though it was much slimmer and sleeker than Herman’s, likely focused on speed and agility. It was dark green, with wicked looking pincer blades on each wrist? And bright orange goggles over the man’s exposed snarling mouth. “How bout me Bug? Remember the guy you put away?”

He groaned, “Again, guys, professional superhero here! Unless your face is purple I can’t really be expected to remember it can I?”

“That’s fine,” his new opponent smiled, with far too much teeth, “All will be forgiven as soon as you’re dead.”

“Yeah not that invested in your forgiveness…”

“And how invested are you in this man’s life?” Tinkerer reminded oh so helpfully.

“Do not worry for me Spider-Man!” Jack called out, his voice slightly amplified through the mask as he struggled, “Saving me is not worth your life, when you can save a thousand more after. I beg of you, do not— oh.” He cut himself off as his struggling appeared to work, as his body was suddenly able to move as he directed it.

“What?!” Tinkerer shouted.

“Phin what are you doing?” Herman growled.

“It’s not me!” The skirted msn insisted, pressing buttons on the remote frantically. “It’s like it’s been—“

“Rewired from the inside? Jack shifted oddly as the voice seemed to come from inside his suit, before shivering as to tiny black nanobots began to pour out of every crook and cranny of his new suit.

More and more came streaming out in sandlots steams before coalescing in the ground, taking a new form of a shimmering black panther.

Albeit one the size of a house cat.

Still no one laughed as Phineas glared down out at, “What the hell are you?”

Shuri’s voice sounded from it though it’s mouth didn’t move, “Someone out of your intellectual weight class.” The mouth did open then, elicited a cartoonish meow, as well as a sonic shockwave that sent the inventor flying backward a few feet.

The cat turned to Peter, “I deactivated the explosives too boo! Go nuts!”

“You got it!” He cheered before charging at the two villains.

He was immediately set upon by the newcomers tail, which speared and slashed at him with a mind of its own as the man himself engaged him with his wrist blades, strength and speed heavily enhanced by the suit to that it was nearly overwhelming. The constant shockwave attacks from Herman didn’t help matters for him and it quickly turned into the run away game.

“You can’t take on both of us hero!” Herman cried, “Just lay down and die by the hands of Scorpion and the Shocker!“

Peter nearly paused mid fight, “You want to be called Shocker? I mean I get Scorpion but shocker?”

“Wha- I am the Shocker! It’s always been my name you little shit!

“Why?” Just then a loud screeching sound turned all their attention to the stairwell gate. Red glowing claws were ripping through the barrier, slashing claw marks across it until they crossed enough for a large chunk enough to be kicked violently into the room, slamming into Shocker while Scorpion and Peter nimbly dodged.

The hole revealed a furious Yelena, Yellow eyes burning and batons drawn with crackling red as Kate and Felicia stood ready behind her.

Peter have her a cheeky wave, “So looks like it was a trap, hehe.”

“Shit, he has backup?!” Tinkerer observed fearfully.

“So what? We do too dipshit! Call them!” Shocker yelled.

“Oh right…” the Tinkerer quickly pressed a different button on his remote and everything quickly dissolved into chaos.

The walls around them revealed themselves to be panels as they slid up to reveal dozens of goons. All of them equipped in the same armored outfits as the robbers they took down, though they all sported different varieties and combinations of the tinkerers tech.

Tinkerer tech?

Tinker tech?

Tink-tech!

“Wow that’s a lot of Tink-Tech.” Peter noted, his nervousness bubbling up as he readied to engage.

“That’s not what it’s— fuck it you know what, Herman, Mac? Make it hurt please!”

“With pleasure…” Scorpion grinned as he shot forward.

They resumed the dance once more, with the two most heavily armored combatants against Peter. He knew the others would have helped him is they could, but they were quickly cut off as the small army of Tink-Toters (that’s definitely what they’re called now, he’ll have Shuri hack the police report if necessary) who began assaulting them with the less powerful shock gauntlets and overly deadly blast rifles.

He did his best as he was chased around the room to steal the large weapons when the chances presented themselves, webbing them to the ceiling out of reach. However he was more than a little occupied and fully aware that the others didn’t need the help, though it was appreciated.

Kate stayed near the entrance, raining down arrows on the goons with caution as Felicia and Yelena wrought havoc amongst the fray. He only caught a few flashes of them, but was struck by how well they fought together, despite their tumultuous relationship thus far.

Maybe it was a cat thing?

Speaking of which he, very rarely, caught glimpses of Shuri’s new toy darting around the battlefield. Sending out shockwaves to keep them off balance , He watched in awe as it occasionally shot itself at the enemies weapons, dissolving mid air to encase the device before dismantling it in mere moments.

It also frequently positioned itself under their feet, much like a real cat, deliberately tripping guys left and right while emitting smug meowing sounds all the while.

Shuri had a unique sense of humor, one Peter greatly appreciated.

Unfortunately his appreciation cost him, his momentary lack of focus allowing Scorpion to lead him into Shockers grip, who chuckled viciously “It’s getting a little crowded in here! Let’s get some air!”

With that, he slammed his gauntlet clad fist into Peters stomach, knocking the air out of him, as well as sending him flying straight up towards the ceiling. The ceiling didn’t hold.

With a painful crash, he was blasted up and into the street in front of the repair shop, landing in the road only to get immediately hit by a car speeding by, just his luck.

He eventually rolled to a stop, taking a second to groan before reluctantly crawling back to his feet.

The car that hit him stopped, much to his surprise. The driver, an elderly man with large glasses and a mustache, rushed out to come check on him. As he got closer however, his senses screamed at him and he tackled the man out of the way in time to avoid Scorpions tail crashing down where he was standing, imbedding itself deep in the concrete and forming a large crater from the impact.

The villain cursed however as it the appendage refused to retract as easily, giving Peter time to usher the man back to his car, “I’ll be okay, sorry about the dent!”

“I’m so damn sick of this town The man cried as he drove off just as Peter heard a muffled thwooming sound. Shocker came flying out of his freshly made hole, his arms pointed down as his shockwaves apparently generating enough force to give him lift. He slammed down in front of him, his suit easily absorbing the impact before he glanced at Scorpion in annoyance, “Mac what the hell are you doing?”

“Don’t fucking blame me! This thing literally has a mind of it’s own don’t it?!” The tail finally wrenched itself out of the street, with some manual help from its wielder, “Take it up with Mason!”

“What’s wrong boys?” Peter called out, trying to prolong the banter so he could catch his breath, “Tink-Tech not performing do standard?”

Shocker growled and began stalking towards him, “You’re gonna regret not putting me away all those years ago!”

“This B-rated dialogue has that well in hand!” He grinned under the mask before shooting a web up and shooting into the air.

He cackled inwardly at their stupidity. Didn’t they realize that big open spaces were where he excelled the most?

He swung around the street, peppering them web shots. To his annoyance, every time enough webs build up on shocker, he seemed to just breaks out if if with a small blast from his gauntlets, and Scorpion, well, those blades on his wrists sheeted through his webs like butter.

To make matters worse, the creep got even creepier and started running up the wall of the building he sat on, on all fours like a feral weirdo.

He was still vastly more agile on vertical surfaces, but it took away his safety net of jumping onto the wall where they couldn’t get him. As the fight continued on, and Shockers reckless attacks caused more and more damage to the streets and buildings around them, he knew he had to end it soon.

And the reckless attacks gave him an idea.

“So Scorpy, remind me again how I know you?” He spun on end wall a shock blast as Scorpion charged through the rubble after him.

“You broke up my weapons deal asshole!” He responded, invading Peters bubble with absolutely no shame and forcing him to swerve his head back and forth to avoid the tail going for his brain, “Then you cut the ferry we were on in fucking half!”

“Ohh!” Peter exclaimed in genuine realization, “That weapons deal! Also that ferry thing was a total accident! Why’d you have a weapons deal in a ferry anyways? Not exactly a lot of easy escape routes on a boat…” he kept an eye on Shockers blast pattern, getting a feel for how he aimed and the time it took for his charges to prime.

“It was a perfect plan! Isolated so that police couldn’t roll up on us!”

“Yeah well the feds were already there before me so…”

Gargan screamed in frustration, chasing after Peter with reckless abandon, just as he’d hoped.

Peter leapt from building to building, just slow enough to keep the maniac on his tail, but not too fast as to raise suspicion until he saw Shockers gauntlets charging up once more. “And I mean seriously? Scorpion? They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but considering how much you seem to hate me I feel like you’re a bit twisted dude!”

With one last frustrated snarl, Scorpion leapt after Peter as he gimped straight down Shockers line of fire, time slowing down for him as he focused on the gauntlets before web zipping away at the very last moment.

Scorpion on the other hand, had no means if mid-air traversal and took the full brunt of the shock blast, flying into the building he just hunkered off before groaning and falling to the street below.

He seemed ready to struggle to his feet still, so Peter decided to encourage him otherwise.

He rained down a layer of webbing to keep him stuck, before firing two lines on either side of the man to yank himself downward with devastating force, his feet slamming into the man’s back, eliciting sounds of warping metal and agonized gasps, followed by silence.

He took a quick moment to check he hadn’t killed him, but saw that the suit had taken the brunt of the damage, and Scorpion was simply knocked out. He looked up at Shocker, “Hey thanks for the help!”

Shocker literally trembled with rage, “You… you…”

“Handsome Devil? Wait no pretty sure Hells Kitchen has the D word coined…”

“BASTARD!” Shocker cried as he charged forward, blasting himself into the air before raining down smaller blasts at him from above .

Peter ducked and weaves through them all, before back flipping away as sticker landed in front of him. He noticed a manhole nearby and, judging from Scorpions durability, succeed he could cut loose a little more with the much bulkier armor Shocker wore.

He leapt over the raging criminal, shooting a web to grab the manhole cover into the air, before flipping around to slam the heavy object over his head and onto Shockers.

The man did not expect if at all and stumbled a bit after it clanged off his armored skull, yet he still stood. Peter began spinning the heavy disc on the web around his body un deadly arcs, keeping its momentum high, “You know I was a bit of a Yo-Yo master as a kid, mind if I show you a trick?”

Rather than wait for an answer, he shot the cover out and into shockers face, before spinning it back around to strike his chest, arms and legs, keeping the strikes rapid and forceful so as not to let him recover.

“Okay so maybe I lied,” Peter smirked as he brought one more hit down hard on Shockers head, leaving a slight dent in the armor and the criminal in an obvious daze, “I sucked back then too. Always ended up with hurt feeling and skulls. Like yours!”

“Fuck… you…” shocker managed before falling forward into unconscious. Peter webbed him up as well before running back to the hold to check on the others, noting idly the sound of sirens approaching.

Turns out he needn’t have bothered, as Yelena leapt out with Kate in her arms before he reached it, followed shortly by Felicia climbing after them, Shuri’s robot perched primly on her shoulders like the princess that controlled it.

Yelena nodded to his subdued opponents with approval, “Well done, didn’t give you too much trouble?”

He shrugged before wincing at the movement, “Just a few broken ribs… you guys alright?”

“Those guys were chumps.” Kate waved him off, standing at a strange angle until Yelena rolled her eyes and grabbed her by the shoulder turning her to reveal a sizable burn mark on her side. Kate winced, “Okay but there were a lot of them…”

Peter hissed at the nasty wound, “Jeez, okay we should go get that looked at.”

“What about the Tinkerer?” Yelena stopped him, “Did you see him?”

“I thought he was with you.”

“He ran off in the middle of the fight,” Felicia informed him. “Sorry guys, looks like—“

“Uh, friends? What shall I do with this one?” They all turned to see Jack peeking uncertainly out of the front of the shop, a struggling Tinkerer held firmly in his arms.

“Jack!” Peter and Kate cheered jogging up to him, though late stopped halfway with a curse as she clutched her side.

“Oh sweetie!” Jack exclaimed with a frown, rushing out of the store to examine her wound, his quarry dragged behind him like an afterthought “You’re hurt! We should take you to the hospital! Oh I’m sorry I left the right, I saw this one making a run for it and…”

“No! You totally saved the day man! BesidesI’ll be fine…” Kate insisted, a bit embarrassed to be doted on in front of the criminal mastermind.

“It is alright Jack,” Yelena promised as she followed behind them. “Behold the most powerful weapon a hero can possess!” She popped open a pouch on her vest and started pulling out first aid supplies. “Pockets!”

Kate giggled a bit at her girlfriends antics. Before wincing as she began to work on the wound.

Seeing her well in hand, Peter turned to Felicia and Shuri’s robot still perched on her shoulder. The floating drone seemed to have been lost in the chaos so he looked at the tiny panther uncertainly, “Shuri? Can you hear me?“

It gave a little nod, “Loud and clear babe!”

“First of all, that thing is awesome, you are a beautiful genius.”

“Awww you are so cute when you say things that are true…”

“Could you do that swarm thing again to deactivate these suits? I knocked them out but I don’t know if the cops can handle them otherwise…” the cars were already beginning to pull up to the scene.

“You got it!” The robot leapt to the ground as silently as any cat and padded off past Peter to do her job.

That left him with Felicia, and suddenly the air of victory turned stale and awkward.

“So…” she started.

He cleared his throat, “Yeah…”

She took a deep breath, “I’m sorry I attacked you.”

He snorted, “Well to be fair I hit first…”

“Yeah doing what I honestly should have known you’d do.” She insisted, “it wasn’t realistic if me to expect otherwise…”

She wasn’t bringing up the thing he’d dreaded, so that was a plus. But he still had to ask the question he was afraid to hear the answer to. “Have you ever… done that before?”

Her faces hardened, and his stomach dropped, but then her eyes flicked down, “No. I’ve wanted to. I’ve made plans to. But no I haven’t.”

He sighed quietly. “Okay.”

“I would if I had the chance.” She told him honestly.

He sighed a bit louder before looking her in the eyes. “I understand.”

More meaning passes between them than he was comfortable with, but she didn’t say anything, just nodding quickly, before her eyes flicked behind him
And widened, “Spider!”

His senses flared as he spoke telling him to dodge out if the way from something behind him. Although if he did that, whatever it was would likely hit Felicia.

He wasn’t given a choice in the end, as the cat burgled spun him around, much to his surprise, crying out as a familiar green pincer blade slammed into her shoulder, piercing halfway through her suits armor before stopping.

Scorpion cursed, his arm outstretched from his prone position before Shuri’s robot sent a sonic wave at his face point blank, knocking him out once more as it quickly disabled the suit.

“Cat!” Peter panicked as he caught her, slumping form.

“I’m alright!” She hissed, “I think… just really fucking hurts…”

“Hold on, I’ll get you to a hospital—“

“In this outfit?!” She protested, “Honestly Spider you if all people…”

Peter looked to a Yelena who had fished over in the commotion. She just nodded easily and he made a mental note to thank her later. “Alright then, we’ll patch you up ourselves.”

He caught a pair of keys Yelena tossed to him, “Go ahead and get her prepped at my place. You know how to do that right?”

He nodded, I leaned it pretty quickly after I started swinging.”

“We will be along shortly. Go!”

He lifted Felicia carefully before taking off.

It was a bit awkward trying to hold her in the air without exacerbating the wound, and he didn’t always succeed, but he still made it to Yelena’s apartment in record time carrying Felicia to the couch before getting to work

“What are you waiting for, get this thing out of me!” She gritted as he began examining the area around the blade.

“That could just open up a blood vessel, and I’m not confident I could stop you from bleeding out before Yelena gets here. She’s better at this stuff than I am.” He told her, maintaining a calm tone despite his panic. “I… we can wait for her to come and do it, but at some point this suit needs to come off…”

“Well freaking do it then!” She ordered.

“Are you—“

“I trust you okay?!” She cut him off almost reluctantly, “Just do what you need to.”

He nodded and did just that, following her directions to remove the sit through a series of hidden clasps and zippers. He had to rip a hole around her shoulder to keep from bothering the blade, much to her dismay, but soon he had the top of her suit completely off and was able to examine the cut more closely.

Once he was satisfied he had done all he could before Yelena arrived, he chanced a look at Felicia, who luckily had a sports bra on under the suit, her face was clenched tightly as the pain ate at her, and he felt compelled to give her something to take her mind off the pain.

“Hey.” She looked to him before her eyes widened, seeing as he’d taken his mask off to look at her. “Thank you for saving me. My names Peter.” He held out a hand.

She took it a bit numbly, “Oh… nice to meet you?”

He give her a grin, “Likewise.” Her grip tightened as another wave of pain hit her, but he didn’t pull away. “I’m here okay?”

She looked him in the eyes again and nodded. “Okay.”

Chapter Text

Kate shifted anxiously as she waited at the window. Beside her, Jack gave her a commiserating shoulder squeeze, though she knew he felt the safe.

“Do I go first? Do you want to?” She asked.

“You are her daughter.” He stated simply, “You will always be her first priority.”

She nodded, just as the doors on the other side of the glass opened, and her mother, clad in an orange jumpsuit, was led out to meet her on the other side.

As she picked up the phone, her mothers expression wasn’t pleasant, but considering she was locked up because of Kate, she was surprised she’d agreed to speak at all. “How nice of you to finally come visit me. I was beginning to think you’d forgotten about me.”

Kate swallowed, “Yeah, uh, sorry I’ve just been dealing with school and… other stuff.”

“I do get the news in here Katherine Elizabeth.” The stern tone and full first and middle name caused Kate to flinch, “I know how you’ve been spending your valuable time playing superhero with vigilantes.”

The way she spat the last word left a bad taste in Kate’s mouth, but she kept it shut for now, “I’ve also been taking classes…”

“Using the money you should be spending to get me out of here.”

“You already have the best legal team we can afford!” She defended.

“Legal teams aren’t always enough, I need you to… grease the wheels a bit.”

“You want me to bribe people?” She exclaimed, vaguely aware of Jack sighing in disappointment beside her.

“I want you to do whatever you need to to help your mother regain her freedom.” Eleanor Bishop stated calmly, “You do want me free don’t you?”

Kate didn’t answer.

A scoff turned her mothers features into a slight sneer, “Really? Well I shouldn’t be surprised. You already arrested me why I expected you to care at all for me—“

“You killed a man!”

“I kept you safe! Happy!”

“You kept yourself rich!” Kate gritted back, eyes stinging with tears barely held back.

“You’d prefer we were poor?”

“Yes! I’d prefer we were homeless rather than you killing someone and then framing your own fiancé for the murder!” As she vented, she suddenly remembered who she sat next to her.

She turned to apologize, but he already had a hand up and his head shaking, “It’s alright, we’re actually on the same page with that.”

“Why is he even here?” Eleanor asked, as if she were asking why the dog was allowed on the couch.

“He’s here to support me, and to talk to you while I support him. Kind of like how real family is I supposed to act instead of lying and scheming behind each other’s backs.”

“Oh like you never—“ Eleanor’s response fell away as her eyes locked on something behind her before widening. “Kate, you need to run.”

Startled at the sudden shift in tone, Kate whirled around, only to find Yelena entering the room behind them. She looked back at her mother, “Why?”

“That woman is dangerous! She’s a professional killer.“

Understanding sparked and Kate chuckled ruefully, “Oh right, I kinda forgot you’ve already met. You hired her to kill Clint after all…”

“Why is she here?!”

Yelena found then quickly, though approached carefully as she noticed the attention on her, “Should I wait back here or…”

“No babe it’s… fine.” Kare assured her, “Moms just wondering why you are here.” She looked back at her mother, who was mouthing the word ‘babe’ uncomprehendingly. “Yelena and I are dating.”

“You’re… with… what?!”

“Well it started when she showed up in my apartment—“

“So you’ll throw your own mother in prison for a single death, but then turn around and be perfectly fine dating a professional killer?!”

Kate stared at her, “It’s not the same mom. Yelena is… well she’s a work in progress but she’s actually doing the work.”

Eleanor huffed, looking to Yelena angrily, shouting despite the soundproof glass. “I hired you to kill Barton, not sleep with my daughter you bitch!”

“Mom!” Kate shouted back.

“Well to be fair she never paid me not to.” Yelena commented, apparently reading the woman’s lips. She pot a hand on her girlfriends shoulder, “Are you alright Kate Bishop?”

The young archer took a deep breath and nodded, “I think… I think I’m done for today. I’m gonna hand you over to Jack now mom. He needs to say something.”

“We are not done talking young lady!” Eleanor snapped, “I still have agents in control of our finances in the company. I will not hesitate to take both away from you!”

The words stung, and tears did begin to fall then. She was getting a business degree for a reason after all. Being a superhero didn’t always pay the bills, and her mother had been giving her lessons on running the company ever since she was little, in hopes that she would take over. The idea of that and all her money being taken away truly scared her for a moment.

Then she remembered she was dating two super geniuses one of which was RoyalTea, and Yelena, who was a very creative and efficient problem solver. She wouldn’t be in financial trouble any time soon. The momentary panic receded into dull heartache.

“Do what you think is best mom.” Kate told her. She handed the phone to Jack, who looked concerned, but didn’t interfere as Yelena gathered up the younger girl and led her to the back of the room to collect herself.

Jack sighed as he raised the phone to his ear, “You will lose her at this rate Eleanor.”

“Are you not paying attention?” she replied snidely. “I already have. Now what do you want?”

He steeled himself, holding Kates bravery in his mind as he opened his mouth, “I… look Eleanor. You are very dear to my heart, I loved you with every fiber of my being, truly… but you killed a member of my family and framed me for the murder.”

His nearly wife just raised an eyebrow, “And?”

“I’m afraid such a thing can not be forgiven. I have come to officially end our engagement. I’m sorry but I cannot marry you.”

She stared at him for several long moments, before laughter bubbled up. “Really? That’s what you’re here for? You thought I was still expecting you too?”

“Well no but it’s only right to—“

“If you’re asking for the ring back you’re out of luck. It’s already been sold.”

He blinked, “You sold the ring? The one my mother gave me?”

“I framed you for murder Jack, what do you expect from me?”

He sniffed quickly, holding his composure valiantly, “I see. That aside… I really wish you would at least try with Kate. She loves you dearly and I know that you love her as well.”

“Of course I do! But she’s made her choices. She is an adult after all. I’m not just going to turn my entire way of living around just because she doesn’t like it.”

His eyes dropped. “Very well. I will not pester you any longer. Good bye Eleanor, despite it all… I will look fondly on our time together.”

“Sure.”

With that he hung the phone up and stood to face Kate and Yelena. Kate was still a bit worse for wear, but she looked at him with bleary eyes, “All good?”

He nodded stiffly, “I have said all I needed to say. Thank you for waiting. Are you ready to leave?”

“Definitely.”

They made their way out of the prison, Kate surprising Jack by wrapping her arm around him and pulling him close whims Yelena stood vigil on her other side. He gently returned the squeeze as they made it to the parking lot.

“Thanks for doing this with me Jack.” She told him before they split up to their resistive vehicles.

“Thank you.” He countered, “having you there definitely made it easier to get the words out, hard as they still were…”

She paused, hesitating before she spoke again, “I don’t know if this is the right thing to say but… even though I was kind of a dick to you at first, if things had gone differently… I think I would have been lucky to have you as a step dad Jack.”

Apparently, that was the breaking point for him, and tears started streaming down Jacks face.

Kate pulled him in for another hug. Yelena gave them some space, going to grab the bike quietly.

Peter felt like such an asshole for not accompanying Kate to the prison, but the plans had been last minute, and she had assured him that what he was doing was too important to reschedule.

She wasn’t wrong, though knowing that and feeling it were too different things.

“Peter, goggles.” Dr. Connors snapped him out of his thoughts by handing him a pair, which he quickly put on.

“Thanks, sorry I was just thinking…”

His mentor paused her work in preparing a syringe, “What about?”

“Kate.”

She hummed with slight interest, “Relationship trouble?”

“Oh no!” He denied quickly, “Thank god. No she’s just visiting her mom today. In prison. For the first time since she was arrested…”

Catherine grimaced, “I see, that sounds like a rough time.”

“Yeah… I wanted to go with her, but we already had the experiment planned and she insisted she would be fine. She has Jack and Yelena too so I’m probably just being silly.”

“You’re not.” She assured him, “It’s natural to worry, so long as you don’t let it overwhelm you. Jack and Yelena are friends of hers? Yours?”

Peter froze a bit, unsure how to explain, “Uh, kind of both?”

“Well than I’m sure she’s in good hands. Now I normally wouldn’t mind chatting more but we really should focus—“

“Of course!” Peter agreed, “Thank you, yeah! Let’s do it.”

They were near the back of the lab, where they kept the test subjects, which consisted of half a dozen mice. That Peter fed and watered once a day.

“So who is the lucky contestant today?” Peter asked as he eyes the cages.

“Subject five please.”

“Got it.” He reacted in in pulled out the requested rodent, whispering to it quietly, “Come on Reginald Von Cheezworth..”

“What was that?”

He spun ask us with the mouse held defensively. “Nothing.”

Her hands were planted on her hips as she narrowed her eyes behind her square glades, “Have you been naming the test subjects Peter? After I told you it was bad practice?”

“I… well… they’re just so cute! I’m sorry!”

The older blonde sighed and pinched the bridge if her nose, “Honestly, what am I going to do with you? If you name the mice you open yourself to observational bias.”

“I know… I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine. Just put Vesuvius on the table.”

“Wha…” Peters eyes worsened and a finger shot ip to point at her accusingly, “Hey!”

He only received a knowing smirk in return, “The lead scientist has special privileges. Now, to work!”

They hurried around lab, prepping each piece of equipment, before double checking it again just in case. Running such a large lab with only two people was no easy task, and the fact that Connors had been doing it for a few years by herself only made Peter respect her more.

He tenderly set down Vesuvius Von Cheezworth in a thick glass container on the center of the room, before closing the hatch and sealing it tight. “We ready?”

“Ready.” She confirmed before flipping a switch on the monitor. A chime sounded to indicate a recording had started. “This is Dr. Catherine Connors, beginning testing of version twenty seven of the Extremis formula. Assisting is my intern Peter Parker. We will begin by injecting the formula into test subject five, before monitoring its vitals and body heat to ascertain success rate. Peter?”

He started, momentarily unsure of what she wanted, but her head nodded towards the initiate button and his eyes widened. “I get to press it?”

“Well considering I’ve pressed it myself the last twenty five times…”

“Cool…” he breathed our, raising his finger. “Initiating experiment in three, two, one…”

He pressed the button and the machines around the container whirred to life, bringing up mechanical arms with various sensors and arrays to monitor the mouse from every angle. One in particular carried Connors syringe, pressing it through a small hole in the glass to slide smoothly into Vesuvius’ rump, a small squeak the only indication he felt it.

“Injecting.” Peter proclaimed, for the sake of the recording. He pressed the next button and the syringe injected the formula, before retreating.

Then all they could do was wait. They monitored the readouts, particularly the temperature guava which, after a few moments, began to rise.

Peter frowned, “Is that—“

“Unavoidable.” Connors assured him, “It always rises as it sets in, although I’ve managed to make far less painful.”

He looked at Vesuvius and noticed that he didn’t seem the least perturbed, even as his body temperature climbed to twice that of a healthy mouse his size.

Eventually however, the rising plateaued, and slowly began dropping again.

“Yes…” Peter heard Connors whisper softly to herself, “Come on…”

He felt anticipation grip him as well. This was the first test he had been a part of, and considering the amount of pain-staking work they had done, he was fairly invested in seeing it come to fruition.

The number kept going lower and lower, until finally it reached the normal temperature.

Peter smiled wide, “Yes! We—“

“Wait.” Connors stopped hum, eyes still focused intently on the screen.

Sure enough, after a full minute of awkward silence, the number started to rise again.

Peter flinched as Connors cursed. The numbers rose exponentially faster and Vesuvius began to glow orange.

Luckily, Connors was already in motion, “Injecting system flush out!” another syringe entered and pricked the poor mouse once more, though the glowing dies down and the temperature returned to normal.

The lab was silently a few breaths before Connors spoke up, “Extremis formula version twenty seven: failure. End of test.”

The clean up and shut down of all the equipment was tense as Peter gathered the courage to approach the visibly fuming Dr.Connors, “It uh… it almost worked though right?”

“I’ve had that exact same result five times now, only it went wrong faster this time.”

Oof. “Well it’s not the end of the world! We just have to keep at it!”

Connors paused before collapsing into a stool with her head in her hands, “Right, just keep at it. It will take months of going over the data to discover which segment of the formula caused the relapse, and once we fix that it will just be a new problem all over again.” Her voice rose in pitch and anger until she saw the worried look on her interns face, “I… I’m sorry Peter. You’re right. We have to keep at it. Something like this can’t be rushed. It’s just frustrating, having to teach the formula everything from scratch. Sometimes I feel like I’ll grow old and die long before someone cracks this…”

“No way!” He protested, “it may take a few more years but we’ll get there!”

“We might not.” She insisted, voice a bit more even, “I know that for a fact, I just… need to come to terms with it. I apologize Peter, for losing my temper.”

“It’s okay, it happens.” He frowned as he looked at her. She wasn’t exactly the liveliest woman he had ever met, but he’d never seen her look so defeated before. She always had so much confident grace, the kind he knew would be forever beyond him outside of a mask. He didn’t like seeing it gone.

“Are you doing anything Friday night?”

As her eyes shot up to him in bewilderment, his mind kicked in a second late, as per fricken usual, “I didn’t mean— The final exam for your class is that day and Kate and I are meeting some friends in town to have a celebration after! You know for getting through the semester. I just thought… you look like you could use some fun you know?”

She gave him a considering look, “Peter I appreciate it but as your teacher—“

“That’s the best part! You won’t be our teacher then, so it will be fine right? I’ve never heard of any rules against hanging out with your intern either… but it’s no problem if you’re not interested! I just thought I’d offer…”

“I… was planning on grading papers that night,” his face fell but she continued on, “it can wait until the day after though I suppose… Wait, is this a bar hopping thing? Last I checked you were—“

“Eighteen yeah.” He nodded, “Well mostly be dancing and hanging out with friends, possibly at a place with a bar. Don’t worry though I have zero interest in drinking anymore, that stuff is just plain nasty…”

“I’ll… think about it Peter. I’ll let you know when class is over.”

“Awesome!” Peter smiled. “I hope you can make it.”

They took their time cleaning the lab up before going home, each a bit less disappointed than they might have been.

“I’m back!” He called out as he entered Yelena’s apartment.

While he wasn’t sure how it had happened, Peter found himself spending more and more time there, as well as sleeping over.

At first he told himself it was to help Yelena with the wounded Felicia. Unlike Yelena and him she had no healing factor to rely on, and no desire to explain to a hospital how she got injured, which led to Peter and the others playing nurses.

Kate would also come by to help every other night, though she was still rather fond of her own space. Peter didn’t find himself missing his apartment in the slightest, though he resolved not to get too comfortable.

Shuri was probably the one who did the most work in getting the girl stable, using her Panther drone to monitor vitals and administer painkillers when needed. In her words, Felicia was far from her first ‘broken white person’.

It took a few weeks, but nowadays, Felicia was doing a lot better, save for a stiff shoulder and occasional soreness. Probably not a big enough deal to keep staying over but…

No one had really asked her to leave yet.

“We’re in here! You ready for a movie or do you need to shower first?”Kate called from the living room. He noted with relief she sounded okay.

He smiled and came out to see her, and Yelena waiting patiently for him, with Shuri projected from the Panther drone, sat comfortably on her own bed in the palace. “I’m good to go. This everyone?”

As he sat down beside Yelena, Felicia’s voice called from the kitchen, “Hold on! I’m coming.” She walked briskly out with a bowl of popcorn, only to find no spots left on the couch.

Peter was about to offer his seat and take the floor, but she just shrugged, sat the bowl on the coffee table, before stretching herself comfortably across three laps, with her feet rested on the Panther drone, which batted at her toes playfully,

Frozen, unsure of how to proceed, Peter stared down at the less of white hair until green eyes turned to smirk at him, “Well? Are we watching or not?”

He formed to his other girlfriends for advice, only to see Kate a bit preoccupied with the fun new set of bongos she was presented with, and Yelena stroking the side of Felicia’s stomach absentmindedly.

He sighed in resignation, before resting a hand on her hair, rubbing his hands through it with interest he had been holding back for weeks. “Yeah let’s watch.”

…he had a harem didn’t he?

The enormous warehouse formally run by the Tinkerer was in chaos. Half didn’t know what do do without direction, and the other half decided they would give directions, resulting into scouting matched and the occasional scraps, though none of the tech was involved. One of the few factory rules everyone respected enough to still follow.

One individual however, was taking advantage of the confusion to the absolute fullest. The Tinkerer might have been the big brains behind all their tech, but Jenkins was no slouch in the brains department himself, and with no one to tell him not to, he was busy at work, combining and upgrading all the leftover tech into something beautiful.

At least he was trying to but the dull roar of noise outside his little workspace cubicle was getting louder and louder, until finally he gritted his teeth and stepped out, “Will you all shut it! I’m trying to wor….” He trailed off as he found the source of the noise.

Ninjas, honest to god ninjas in red and black were attacking his colleagues, knocking them all out one by one when they couldn’t be subdued or made to surrender.

“So sorry for the commotion, we should be wrapping things up shortly.”

He turned with a start to find a very sharply dressed man standing beside him, glasses and briefcases completing the image of White Collar jackass.

“What the hell’s going on?!” Jenkins demanded, drawing a wrench out of his tool belt behind him just in case.

“We’ll put simply, this operation is now under the control of my employers. They have a need for the type of services you all can provide.”

He narrowed his eyes, “More bank heists?”

The man smirked in amusement, “No, we’re well taken care of financially. I was referring to your abilities for destruction, and more importantly, distraction. We need this technology on the streets, making noise, keeping certain parties busy. We also need someone who knows the technology to take the lead on it all. You seem like one such capable individual, and you’re the first one Ive talked to that hasn’t attacked me. So,” the man pulled up his briefcase, flipping it open to reveal several green stacks that had Jenkins salivating.

It snapped closed, bringing his wits back to the man’s, who gave him a friendly smile that sent a shiver down his spine, “Do we have a deal?”

He didn’t trust this man, but considering the army of ninjas backing him up he couldn’t think of a good reason to refuse. Besides… “Loud and destructive huh? I think I could do that.” He reached out to grasp the man’s hand tightly, “Abner Jenkins, pleasure to meet you.”

“James Wesley. I look forward to doing business with you.”

Chapter Text

Catherine Connors had a problem. A dark haired, brown eyed, deceptively fit eighteen year old problem.

Well to be fair, Peter himself wasn’t the problem. He was by far the most competent lab assistant… no, the most competent colleague she’d ever worked with. He kept up with her quick and easy in a field he was only introduced to a few months ago, and he came into work every day with a bright and cheery demeanor that makes her wonder how she ever made it through the last few years working alone.

There were some days the cheer wasn’t there. Some days he came in quiet and reserved. Some days he held such a weight to him that she struggled to refrain from asking what could have possibly happened to give a boy his age that gave him such demons.

And then there were the days where he came in wearing clothes his girlfriend Kate picked out for him (she knew because she asked, very subtly of course). Instead of the usual loose, baggy attire he normally ascribed to. These were form fitting, sharp, and showed off what all those baggy clothes were hiding.

She had no idea how Peter had time to hit the gym with how busy his life seems to be, but the results were hard to ignore. He wasn’t jacked or anything, his form was slim, unassuming, until he moved his bare bicep in a certain way and the sheer compressed power was presented to her as clear as day. There were more nights than she’s like to admit where she stood staring at his lab coat, considering how she could get away with ‘losing’ it so he didn’t have to cover up the next day during lab. Her dedication to his safety won out every time, but it didn’t stop her from giving it a sniff once.

She tried not to think about that too much.

So yeah, the problem wasn’t Peter. The problem was that Catherine had an unbelievably unprofessional crush on her student/intern and there was nothing she could do about it.

Except he wouldn’t be her student anymore…

No! That line of thought just leads to hurt feelings.

Except he invited her out…

Yeah with his friends and GIRLFRIEND. He just felt bad for her after her minor meltdown during the experiment. Also he is eighteen, and she’s well into her thirties, and he has a GIRLFRIEND. There is no point in getting her hopes up, and even if there was… who was she kidding? Why would a young man like him have any interest in a cripple halfway to her expiration date already? Why was she even interested in someone so young?

Well that one was actually obvious. He was hot, smart, and far more mature than she’d originally given him credit for. Sure he had his moments where his youth showed glaringly, but of course that only served to endear him to her more, likely due to some sick subconscious Freudian deviation.

She needed to get over it. Accepting his invitation would be a bad idea… or it could be exactly what she needs…

If she sees up close and personal how happy he is with Kate, and how little chance she really has with him, maybe the message will finally sink into her subconscious! Sure it will hurt like hell, borderline masochism really, but it will be better than suffering quietly for another four months imagining what-if scenarios.

Yeah… that’s the answer! She would go out with them (not like that!) and put this frustration behind her once and for all. It was a full proof plan!

…though it wouldn’t hurt to try and dress up a little for the occasion right? It was a night out after all, she could schedule an appointment with a hairdresser and a makeup artist!

It wasn’t often she had an excuse to look nice after all.

Peter was quickly losing all control of his love life and he had surprisingly few problems with it.

He really should have seen it coming when two women agreed to date him at once (well each other too, but still!)

The inclusion of Shuri was so far out of his purview that it wasn’t even funny, but the jovial genius princess managed to fit in with the other Yep with little to no effort, even across an ocean.

Felicia… well to be honest a small part of Peter had actually hoped this time, though he’d never admit it.

She was sexy in a way he had thought only existed in fiction, and it was only bolstered by her lazy confidence, that she used to get whatever she wanted.

It was with that confidence that she slowly integrated herself into their dynamics while she was staying at Yelena’s. She didn’t just jump into bed with them or something, she was far more subtle. It started with joining meals and movie nights, before it escalated a bit.

Peter didn’t learn till later, but a few times she’d offered to share the shower with Kate and Yelena of both, to ‘save water’. They were all girls after all right? Yelena was never really one to care about simple nudity and let her in, Kate did as well though more hesitantly. All three never went in at the same time though, as whenever Kate and Yelena showered together things tended to… happen. Apparently Yelena had some neat attachments to her shower head.

With Peter however, it was other things, like walking around in just a t-shirt and panties whenever she ‘forgot’ he was staying over. Or how she always managed to be touching him in some way shape or form when they sat on the couch.

Now when it came to things like this, Peter might have been dumb, but he sure wasn’t stupid. About a week in he consulted with the girls about what was going on and they all agreed on what Felicia’s intentions were. Then he asked what they wanted to do about it, trying his very best to keep his face neutral when doing so.

The looks they gave him in return told him he wasn’t slick, but they came to an agreement nonetheless.

So it came to one day when Peter, Kate and Yelena were all preparing to go out on patrol, Felicia, still healing, sat idly on the couch watching them. Right before they we’re preparing to go, she cleared her throat, leaning over the edge of the couch in a way that did interesting things to her assets, “Hey! Don’t I get a kiss goodbye?”

Peter knew what it was, a tease, a challenge, a test of the waters, but as he turned to look at Kate and Yelena, they all silently agreed on the best response.

Felicia actually squeaked as Peter gently but swiftly scooped her up bridal style, mask lifted so he could plant one on her shocked face, then passed her to Yelena before she could say anything, where she got identical treatment.

Kate hit her last before dropping her back in the couch, red faced and hair a bit tousled, bringing the image of a startled cat with puffed up fur to mind.

Peter gave her a two finger salute as he stepped out of the window. “See you later Cat!” A cheeky nose bop from Shuri’s panther drone was the thing that broke her daze as they ran off.

As they made their way into the night, they heard the distinct yell of “THAT’S NOT FUCKING FAIR!” behind them. They only cackled in response.

That night they had a brief talk to confirm what they already knew, and just like that, Felicia was part of the group.

…Was he collecting cat girls? Or at least cat-related girls? Shuri had the panther stiff, Yelena was the White Tiger and Felicia…

Probably not worth thinking about.

What was worth thinking about was the exciting night they had planned. Exam day had finally come. Peter of course had no worries about passing, and after many nights of personal tutoring (despite many many many ‘interruptions’) Kate was just as confident.

The exam went as most exams go. Quiet, with a tense atmosphere choking all the unprepared fools in their seats.

Many might also have been distracted by their professor, who for some reason had decided she’d come in dressed to the absolute nines.

Peter, in all the time he’s spent with Dr. Connors, had never seen her so done up. Her hair was down, looking pristine and wavy, with part of it in an intricate princess style braid. Her already stunning features were enhanced by subtle make up, which he had never known her to wear.

She still wore her lab coat but underneath, instead of her usual practical fashion, she wore a shimmering green dress that had every student in class struggling to keep their eyes on their papers, and not the modestly deep neckline.

He had exchanged several surprises looks with Kate when they first saw her, but they buckled down and focused on the exam all the same.

In the end though, it was a breeze, and when the period finally ended, Peter and Kate found themselves waved over by Connors as the rest of the class filed out.

When the last person exited the class, Kate finally let out her excitement, “Dr. Connors! You look amazing! Does this mean what I think it means?”

Their now former professor reddened a bit as she smiled, “If you will still have me. It’s been… a while since I’ve gone out and had some fun.”

“Alright! Of course we still want you to come!” Peter cheered. He had endless respect for the woman, nearly on par with Mr. Stark. Actually hanging out and getting to know her better outside of work seemed like a dream come true.

“I’ll admit I’m a bit nervous though. I’d hate to slow you and your friends down, being an old lady and all…”

“Old lady?” Both students parroted in confusion. Before Connors could respond, the door to the class opened.

“Are you two gonna hang out here all day or what?” Yelena asked.

“Babe!” Kate cheered, running over to pull her into a hug.

“Babe?” Connors repeated, looking at Peter with a mixture of confusion and concern.

Right, he hadn’t really gotten around to telling her about their situation. In his defense there wasn’t really a great context for him to start bragging about how he has four girlfriends to his female boss…

“It’s fine.” He assured her, before walking up to join then. “Yelena! What are you doing here? I thought we were meeting at the club…”

She planted an indulgent kiss on Kate, who had decided to latch on to her like an octopus, not that it stopped her from lifting the taller girl up and toting her across the room, “I thought I would surprise you and pick you up from class. I have even rented a car for us so we can all travel together.”

“Whaaat? Aw Yelena you didn’t gave to do that!” Peter exclaimed, though his smile shone through his words.

“Yes I know.” She replied as she reached him, before leaning in for him to give her a quick kiss as well.

A cleared throat causes then to turn and see Connors visibly struggling to comprehend, “I’m sorry I don’t mean to be rude, but what exactly…”

Yelena gave Peter a look, “You never told her?”

He winced apologetically, “It’s not like I was ashamed or anything it just… never came up.”

Kate leapt down from Yelena, an admirably short drop, “Sorry for the confusion Prof, basically we’re all dating!”

Connors blinked at the bandaid being ripped off, “Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“You mean you’re all… polyamorous?”

Peter nodded firmly, “That’s exactly it.”

“Well…”

“Nope.” Peter cut Kate off giving her a look, “She got it right the first time.”

“Oh come now Peter you really must admit—“

“Admit what? She already knows the full situation!”

“Well not the full situation.” Kate insisted.

“I feel like I’m missing something here…”

“Hello!” A new voice called out from the door, belonging to Felicia who was sticking her head in curiously, “What’s taking so long? I got bored waiting in the car… oh is this the teacher you were talking about? Damn, now I know why Peters so happy in that lab all day!”

They all looked back to Connors, who gave Peter a sharp look, “Peter.”

“Y-yes?”

“Do you… have a harem?”

“No!”

“Yes.” All three women countered behind him, causing him to slump.

“It’s not like you’re all in the relationship for me! It’s mutual attraction!”

“Well I did initially agree to it due to my love for Kate Bishop.” Yelena nodded, “But you were very quick to show me your own value.”

“Yeah and I was mostly into you at first, no offense girls.” Felicia chimed in.

“None taken.”

“It’s not a harem.” Peter practically whimpered.

“Beloved, you really must get over this.” They looked to Connors monitor to see Shuri had once again commandeered it for her own purposes.

“Princess Shuri!” Connors nearly shrieked before looking between them, “Y-You too?”

“What can I say? He’s a very competent scientist, as I’m sure you’re aware.”

“Well yes but—“

“His butt is also very cute. Firm in all the right places…”

“Okay!” Peter cut in once more, looking at Connors awkwardly, “I suppose… from a certain angle… one might observe my situation as harem-adjacent. But really it wasn’t my intention! It all just… kinda happened?”

The room fell silent as they all waited for Connors to mentally digest all of the information they’d thrown at her.

After a few moments she took a deep breath before letting it outs, “Peter, I don’t think any less of you for the… situation you’ve found yourself in.”

“Oh good… I really—“

“I am a little hurt you’d think I would however. I’d like to think I’ve presented myself as more understanding individual.”

“Oh! Gosh sorry I—“

“Why don’t you make it up to me by showing me a good time tonight?”

Peter blushed as the women surrounding him snickered at him, “Sure thing Dr. Connors. I promise we’ll have some fun.”

She let out laugh at his serious tone, before waking up and patting him on the shoulder, “Tonight I’m not your superior alright? Call me Catherine.”

With that settled, they made their way into town, meeting the rest of the group that had come to celebrate.

Catherine had seemed surprised, and a bit relieved when they met up with Jessica and the LARP Legion, sans the armor of course. He soon realized she’d likely expected they were meeting a bunch of people around Kate and Peters age range. The fact that she’d still been willing to come along just proves how cool she was!

He was glad that wasn’t the case however. She seemed to get along perfectly well with the LARPers. Orville in particular turned out to be a high school teacher. Apparently he had turned to LARPing to let off steam after all the crap he put up with at work, which led to a long, laughter filled conversation as they each detailed their wildest experiences with students.

Unfortunately, that led to her detailing his first day of class, but he’d shoulder the embarrassment as long as everyone was having fun. Well, Jessica sulked the entire time, but he wasn’t sure if it was more or less than her normal amount of sulking. Yelena insisted she was fine, and he’d spied them laughing together two whole times so he figured it was alright.

He didn’t spend the whole night watching others though, as entertaining as it was. He has some fun of his own.

All through his school life, he and Nex had always been the outcasts. Sure they’d gone to parties, but not once had they actually partied. You can’t do that sitting awkwardly in the corner.

That night however, he wasn’t in the corner. He was in the center stage, howling with the LARPers as Jack detailed their latest victories (of which there were many thanks to his new suit). He was repeatedly dragged to the dance floor, going absolutely wild with Yelena, before Kate led each of them in turn when the slow music started.

With Felicia… well Felicia seemed more inclined to dance on him than with him, and it took him a while to overcome his nerves and grind in return.

He even managed a dance with Dr…. Catherine. Even in his head if felt weird to call her that. Still, he had seen her standing to the side as everyone else was lost in the crowd, and in the high of the night and the heat of the moment, had invited her to join him.

She was hesitant at first, looking at him oddly, “I’m not sure anyone wants to see… this, flopping around. She gestured weakly to her stump, which was only covered by the tied off sleeve of her dress.

“I think everyone in here is either too drunk or too busy to care.” He countered, “Come on! You told me I should show you a good time!”

She still seemed apprehensive, but just sighed and took the hand he held our for her, allowing him to pull her into the fray with a laugh.

Dancing was fun! That was something he’d wished he’d realized with Ned, rather than being paralyzed with their fear of embarrassing themselves. As it turned out, very few people in clubs actually new how to dance. It was a sea of erratic movement, with dashes of grace speckled in between.

Of course, having spider enhanced agility and balance, he was far more successful at passing off his erratic movement as graceful, and after a few moments, he was surprised to see Catherine show actual moves.

“You can dance?!” He yelled to her over the music.

“It was a bit of a hobby before…” her response trailed off, so he arrived to smooth the moment over by grabbing her hand and waist, twisting her into a jumping swing that had her giggling in surprise.

“I see you can’t dance.” She shot back after he let up on the bouncing.

He clutched his chest, “Wow, just call me out why don’t you? Well you’re a teacher right? So teach me!”

And though he had only really been bantering mindlessly, that’s exactly what she did, directing his movements into something more akin to actual controlled movement as they moved to the beat.

It ended with both of them panting, Catherine due to the exertion and Peter… well to pretend he was exerting. It wouldn’t do to show off his monstrous stamina after all.

“So how’d I do?” He breathed when they collapsed at their table.

She rolled her eyes but smiled, “Well you always were a quick study.”

“Yes!” He fist lumped dramatically earning another laugh, before her expression turned a new shade of contemplative.

“Peter… about your relationship…”

“Yeah?”

“You should probably go and tend to it, I think that girl Felicia is giving me the stink eye.”

“I’m sure she’s not—“ he turned abs saw that Felicia was in fact staring at them, though to him it seemed she was giving him an impatient look. He has said he’d dance with her next after all…

“You’re.. probably right.” He stood up.

“Honestly Peter, you shouldn’t waste your time on a dusty old woman when you should be having fun.”

He sat back down.

“Okay first of all: I always have fun with you! I mean yeah we’re usually working but science is fun too! And doing it with you is always— wait that came out wrong…”

She didn’t meet his eyes, “Peter you don’t have to—“

“I’m sorry D— Catherine, but I do. I’ve gotten a lot of crap from the girls about being down on myself, and rightfully so. I’m not gonna sit around listening to you calling you’re self an old lady cause you’re not! I mean hell, Yelena’s your age, and you’re both just as beautiful as any girl in here!”

Catherine didn’t respond and Peter once again reviewed what he just said, “Wait— sorry I didn’t mean—“

“I know what you meant Peter.” She finally smiled to him, “Thank you, but seriously: I’m okay. Go to your girl before she gets upset.”

He wasn’t convinced , but stood up anyways as she gave him the ‘this important’ look she used when explaining lab safety rules. “Yes ma’am…”

Overall the night was more fun than he’d expected it to be, despite being the only one who didn’t drink, not that it would matter if he did. His only regret is that Shuri couldn’t be there in person, but she had hidden a part of her drone on him and the others so she could see what they saw and talk to them all whenever she wanted. They had talked about an actual visit before, and with classes over and summer about to start… they were running out of reasons not to make it happen.

All good things come to an end however, and that night it ended with Peter driving a host of drunk women home, starting with Catherine who had kept it light but still sported a slight blush and a loopy demeanor.

Sat beside him was Yelena who was the least drunk in appearance, but had definitely consumed the most alcohol out of everyone in the group. Still, driving wasn’t exactly Peters forte, so he had her coaching him as they strove not to get pulled over. To his relief he managed not to hit anything.

Though if he were honest with himself, his erratic handling of Flash’s car back at homecoming was more than a little fueled by pettiness. Driving wasn’t really that hard.

They dropped off Catherine first, Peter escorting her to the door, not because he thought she’d stumble but because that was what every fiber of politeness in his being screamed he should do. She thanked him for the night and went inside rather abruptly, but he didn’t think too much of it.

He got back in the car and looked at the others through the mirror, “Where to next? Kate? Felicia? Either of you want to go to your apartments?”

“We will go to my place.” Yelena stated simply.

“Really are you—“

“We’re sure.” A pair of arms snaked their way over his chest from the back seat, and the heat of Kate’s breath on his ear causes him to shiver as she whispered, “the nights not over yet.”

He swallowed thickly before following their instructions. And if he broke a few speed limits on the way well… he didn’t have a license alright? He didn’t know any better…

They burst into the apartment barely a second before they were on each other, Peter finding himself claimed by Kate before anyone else could.

She pushed him against a wall, and right as he thought she would attack his neck, she paused to look him in the eyes, “Peter, I want you tonight.”

His heart, which already pounded excitedly, skipped a few beats as her meaning sunk in. As excited as he was however, he still frowned, “Kate I want to but—“

“Shuri!” She interrupted him with an amused laugh, “play the thing!”

A small black device popped up from between Kate’s cleavage and projected a screen in the air between them. It showed a video of Kate wearing the same outfit from the morning before the test.

“My name is Kate Bishop, I am dead sober right now, and tonight I plan to get slightly drunk and then proceed to take Peter Parker’s virginity, should he allow me.”

The video ended and the screen disappeared to reveal Kate smiling smugly at him as he held in his laughter, “So you planned this huh?”
“I’d like to think i I know how your brain works by now.” She shrugged before softening a bit, “It’s okay if you’re not ready, I just thought I’d…” she trailed off as Peter reached into his pocket and pulled out the condom he had stashed there that morning just in case.

“It looks like we’re on the same page.” He grinned excitedly, before frowning and turning to Felicia and Yelena, the latter having pinned the former to a different wall, “Uh, is this going to be a group thing or…”

Yelena pulled her tongue out of a dazed Felicia’s throat to answer, “Well you know that is not really my thing. We all agreed it would be best to let you and Kate Bishop have some privacy this time.”

“We didn’t want you to feel too pressured.” Kate added.

Part of Peter felt he should have been embarrassed that they thought that, but all he could do was sigh in relief, “Thanks, I appreciate it. Felicia? You’re good too?”

She sighed in mock disappointment, “Well I’m kind of bummed to miss your first time, I guess it’s only fair. Seniority roles and all.”

Yelena cooed at her comfortingly, “Oh, do not worry Pussycat. Shuri and I have something very special planned for you.” She gave Peter and Kate a wink, “You can use the main bedroom.” With that Felicia was hoisted over her shoulder with a shriek.

The platinum blonde huffed as she was toted away, “You know I’m getting kind of tired of being manhandled all over the place! I’m not actually a cat you know!”

Yelena hummed, “Really? Then you will not purr for me?” She pushed open the door to the guest bedroom.

“Of course not I…” she trailed off as she beheld something inside. “Is that… oh wow…”

“We shall see how long that lasts.” With that Yelena shut the door behind them.

“Well seems like they’ll be having fun.” Peter noted before turning back to Kate, “Are you ready?”

She grabbed one of his hands and pulled it to her waist hand, urging him down wards to explore underneath. His breath hitched as he felt her already wet with arousal. “You tell me.”

They stumbled into the bedroom, barely making it to the bed as they roamed their hands over one another. Peter forced himself to pull back however, finding himself on top of her, “I guess we should—“

“Rip them off.” Kaye demanded.

He blinked, “But you look really good in them!” She had worn a rather tight pair of jeans and a loose silver silk top that let his imagination run wild.

She rolled her eyes, “Then I’ll buy new ones later, but I’m getting a little impatient here and those jeans are kind of a bitch to slip out of. Do us both a favor and put that super strength to good use yeah?”

He never really could argue with her logic, so he complied and grabbed the front of her shirt, letting his strength out a bit as he tore it off her body in a swift jerk that made her gasp in surprise, despite having asked for it. When he did the same thing to her pants, a heady look entered her eyes, “Okay that’s gonna be a thing for me now…”

“We shouldn’t waste perfectly good clothes,” he chided lightly, even as he ripped his own outfit off with increased fervor, seeing his girlfriend bare and ready for him.

“We can just give the scraps to Yelena. She’s been experimenting with Missy and they always need more material.”

He had stopped listening, as finally he had them both naked and his already stiffening cock was staring down her center, and it was all he could do to remember the condom.

“You sure you want to wear it?” Kate asked as she propped some pillows up.

He paused, “Don’t I have to?”

“Well normally it’d be important but I I have an IUD, and we both kind of know each other’s sexual history.”

At the mention of sexual history, Peter was suddenly reminded that while this would be his ‘first time’ it wouldn’t be Kates. It wasn’t something he’d spent a lot of time thinking about before, but for some reason it insisted upon pervading his thoughts.

As usual, his thoughts showed in his expression, and Kaye let out a small chuckle, “I was wondering when I’d see that face.”

“What?”

“The jealous face. I was beginning to wonder if having four girls made it impossible for you.”

Shame filled him and he readied to apologize, only for her to put a finger on his lips, “it’s okay. You’re allowed to not like the idea of someone else being with me. Our relationship isn’t actually open, despite how it may seem.”

His face screwed up in confusion, “Isn’t jealously supposed to be toxic?”

“Only in high volumes. If you were just okay with me having sex with a bunch of people I’d worry you didn’t care. Just don’t let it get in your head okay?”

“I’ll try.” He nodded, “I just kind a wish you hadn’t brought it up just now…”

She winced, “Right, sorry, I didn’t really think that through… well, you know what might make you feel better?”

“Hmm?”

Her legs wrapped around his rear and pulled his hips to meet hers. He allowed himself to fall forward, arms on either side of her as she gazed up at him with a grin, “You could fuck me till I forget about anyone else.”

He forgot all about the condom, allowing his instincts (the hormonal, non-spidery ones) to take over as he lined himself up, his member screaming at him for release. “I can do that.”

He pushed in, and immediately groaned as the heat and sensation overtook him. It was similar to the many blowjobs he had received since he’d been with Kate and Yelena, but the clenching sensation and over all heat lended far more to the experience than he’d ever anticipated.

Before he realized it, his hips were moving back and forth, thrusting himself in an out of her needfully, and as he came back to his senses, the wet noises it produced were accompanied by the appreciative moans of Kate under him, as her hips twisted along with him. She never really was one to just lie down and take it after all.

For some reason however, at least once he wanted to take the lead, so without warning, he scooped one hand under her ass, and the under her back, before sliding sing his feet down to the floor and pushing himself into a standing position using only his ankles, dragging a delighted Kate up along with him.

Before she could question, he pulled her in to whisper into her ear, “No helping. I’m fucking you right now, got it?”

A pleased groan came from her as he lifted and dropped her a bit to demonstrate, “Yes sir, I’ll be good.”

He could unpack how strange and empowering that made him feel later. As it was, he was far too busy grabbing Kate by the waist and and lifting her up and down on himself as he thrusted his hips up to meet her, her ass slapping against his thighs at every impact as her pleased moans turned into overwhelmed whines.

He enjoyed her like that for several minutes before lifting her off of him, twisting her around to toss her face down on the bed.

She gasped as she hit the mattress, turning to give him a shocked expression, “Peter!”

He froze on the spot, “Too much?”

“Where’s all this been the last few months?”

He paused to think before nodding resolutely, “Not in your pussy apparently.”

She gaped at him in amusement before he grabbed her by the hips and slammed himself back into her from behind, watching closely as his hips caused her ass to ripple as he thrusted even more furiously than before.

Her yelps and moans grew louder and louder as he went, but he refused to stop, even as her walls clenched impossibly tight around him and her ass cheeks trembled from her orgasm. He fucked her through it, as well as the three more that followed, until finally his own budding climax exploded. He pushed himself as deep inside Kate as their position would slow as he pumped himself inside her, hunched over her prone form with his eyes clenched shut.

When he finally finished, he slid out with a sigh and rolled onto his back beside her, breathing deeply with contentment. “Holy shit…”

“I’ll say…” Kate mumbled beside him, still laid limp, though she turned her head so they could lock eyes. “So? All bad thoughts gone?”

“What bad thoughts?” He asked. Causing her to laugh before, much to his surprise, she picked herself up with inexplicable energy.

“I hope you don’t think you’re done already.” She warned as she swung a leg over him so she could position herself over his face, squatting down without hesitation for him to start eating her before she leaned over and went to work on his partially limp cock.

Peter idly wondered if he should be grossed out at tasting himself alongside Kate, but well… he had been taking that formula, so he couldn’t really complain about the taste, especially as his lover cleaned him of both his and her juices with notable enthusiasm.

Faster than was probably humanly possible, be found standing tall again, and Kate lifted herself off his face, slightly to his disappointment. He got over it soon, as she scooted forward to begin grinding her slick sex over his erection, reverse cowgirl style, teasing him with her folds as she turned back to grin wickedly at him, “That was really fun, and you’ll definitely have to do that again sometime, but first I think you need a reminder at who stands at the top of the proverbial hill here.”

He chuckled up at her, “What? Afraid I’ll take your spot in charge of the bedroom?”

“Not scared,” she said as she lifted her rear to line his dick up once more, “Just doing my due diligence.”

“I thought you were doing me.” He quipped.

“That too.” She laughed, before plunging down on him. His head fell back as she began to essentially twerk on his lap, and he struggled between staying like that and enjoying himself and lifting his head to watch her work.

Honestly, if she preferred it on top, who was he to argue? The view was just as nice from below anyways.

Across the city, in her own home, another woman was having her own pleasure session, though sadly, she was forced to handle herself alone.

Catherine panted as her hand pumped her dildo in and out of herself, furiously trying for the fifth time to relieve some of the frustration she was feeling. Once again she knew it wouldn’t do the trick.

Her plan had failed spectacularly. Instead of seeing how happy Peter and Kate were together in their relationship with no room for her, she had seen how happy they were in a polyamorous relationship with three other women, one of which was her own age!

And of course Peter had made good on his word, showing her a wonderful time, and doing what she had, deep down, absolutely known he would do if she talked down about herself. Though he hadn’t expected him to compare him to one of his girlfriends directly.

That, along with everything else was putting ideas in her head, terrible, shameless, erotic ideas that refused to leave no matter how many times she masturbated.

It was one of the many times she wished for her other arm back. The dildo was fine and all, but she desperately wished she could massage herself while fucking herself with it, instead of just one or the other.

Finally she came, crying out as she squirted a bit on her bedroom sheets, uncaring of what a pain it will be to clean up later.

She needed to talk to someone about this, before she really did something she’d regret, like trying to sleep with her intern.

She would regret that… wouldn’t she?

In yet another part of the city, a corner store was being held up. Not exactly front page news for Manhattan, if not for the futuristic weaponry the robbers carried and used to blow the front wall of the store down on their way out.

The goons howled with laughter as they made their way through the back alleys far away from the sirens behind them.

“This is great!” The leader shouted, “I can’t believe the old boss was so worried about getting caught! We’re untouchable with these things!”

“Yeah, until one of the spandex comes after us,” another argued. “Keep your voice down! We’re supposed to make noise but that don’t mean we gotta be stupid about it!”

“Oh please!” The boisterous one countered, “There are like ten of us, what’s a couple freaks gonna—“ a loud chatter behind him cut him off as they all whirled around to find nothing behind them.

“Weird,” the unreasonably reasonable goon granted, before turning back, “But seriously Doug… Doug!”

Doug was no where to be found, having disappeared from his spot in the front of the group.

A muffled thump had them turn again, just in time to see another one of their guys slump unconsciously as a strange flash of red retracted into the shadows above.

“Eyes up! We have company!” The apparent new leader of the group shouted. They all raised their blasters and gauntlets as they formed a circle keeping eyes above.

“Uh guys… what part of town we in again?” One of them asked fearfully.

“What kind of question is that? You really don’t pay attention do you?”

“Just answer the question.”

“Hells Kitchen.” One answered quietly.

“Fuck…” they all whispered at once, and then there was a Devil among them.

He dropped down into the center of the circle and had four of them unconscious before they could all torn to face him.

He was hard to see even then, just a blur of red and gold as he flipped and leapt around them, usually using their faces as launch points. It made it impossible to get a clean shot without risk of hitting each other, though of course some tried firing with the shock gauntlets, resulting in a lighter workload for their assailant.

Soon there was only one guy left, aiming his blaster with shaking hand as he beheld the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen in all his fury. He stalked towards the man head on. Tilting his head just barely every time he fired a shot, blasting holes in the broke behind him which, luckily, revealed no inhabitants inside.

Once he was halfway there, one of the vigilantes hand shot out, sending the baton he clutched shouting towards the man’s head, forcing him to drop his weapon as he clutched his forehead in agony.

Then he was on the ground. An armored boot crushing his head as his arm was yanked up and twisted painfully enough for him to scream.

“Who do you work for?” Daredevil demanded quietly, though the pressure he put on his head emphasized more than yelling ever could.

“I don’t know!” The man cried.

“Wrong answer!” The arm was broken now and his leg was now hoisted on the proverbial chopping block.

Fighting tears, the man cried out again, “I’m serious! Some freaky ninjas came out of nowhere after the Spider got the old boss! I don’t know who they are, they just told us to go apeshit and cause trouble!”

The pressure lessened a bit, “Ninjas? What did they look like?”

“Huh?” That was the wrong answer, he was now down an arm and a leg.

“Black and red!” He screamed, “they looked like ninjas but with black and red, and some of them had swords! And then there was this lawyer looking guy! That’s all I know! Oh god please don’t kill me!”

“If God cared for you he wouldn’t have sent me.” Was all he heard before the boot on his head stomped out his consciousness.

Daredevil heaved a sigh as the new information whirled around in his brain. He was interrupted however, by the very subtle sound of a phone ringing and alerting him to the name of the caller. He had the volume set so low only he was capable of hearing it, and while normally he wouldn’t dare mix personal with patrol, his new intel found him in dire need of hearing his callers voice.

“Hey Jen.” He answered, smiling despite himself as his sort-of girlfriend immediately began peppering him with questions and tidbits about her day. She was a talker for sure, but he wouldn’t be who he was if he didn’t mind listening.

“I’m doing alright. Just finished up some Pro Bono work.” That was their code for Daredevil stuff. “Looks like I’ve stumbled onto something pretty big… I might need to call in some help… no no! You don’t have to do that, it’s hardly dangerous enough that you need to fly out right now. You’re in the middle of a case after all…well no I wouldn’t mind seeing you of course I… I miss you too. I promise if it starts to look like something that needs smashing, you’ll be my first call.” His cheeks reddened at her next words, “You know what I meant! But… I’ll keep that in mind as well. I should go, I’m hearing a gang close in on someone nearby. I’ll call you when I get home safe okay? Alright then, goodbye.”

He hung up and got to work once more. In all honesty, if this new group was who he feared, calling in Jen probably wasn’t the worst idea, but… even knowing her strength, the idea of her going anywhere near the Hand was enough to make his guts churn.

He’d already lost one love to them after all. He’s start local, maybe it was time to round up the old crew again. He never did tell him he was alive. He’d be an idiot not to reach out to Spider-Man as well, he had thought they’d cross paths beforehand, but the younger vigilante had steered clear of his neighborhood. Whether it was out of fear or respect hd didn’t know, but he appreciated it.

He prayed to god that it wasn’t the Hand though. How could it be? Most of the leaders were dead.

Except they had a nasty habit of resurrection.

No matter. He was stronger now, in more ways than one. Whatever came his way, he’d deal with it. He always did.

Chapter Text

Waking up Saturday morning, Peter felt happier with himself than he could ever remember.

That feeling diminished a bit when Kate woke up and literally limped to the dining room for breakfast, no matter how much she said she didn’t mind. It was also compounded with pride and shame, pride that he’d managed to put her in such a state and shame that he could feel pride at his girlfriends discomfort.

Then Felicia limped out of the guest bedroom followed by Yelena, and upon seeing Kate, several fist bumps were exchanged as the nights exploits were animatedly discussed over breakfast.

It was embarrassing to the max (as well as incredibly hot) but it carried a sense of weird comfort with it that had Peter smiling even as the girls teased him relentlessly.

So of course, that’s when the city decided to go crazy.

He dodged another energy blast as the gang of thugs he’d come for continued to spew curses at him. He landed easily on a lamp post above them, shaking his head in disappointment, “Seriously guys? My grandma could aim better than you! Tell you what: Why don’t you all take a few minutes to practice then try again? Course I’m just gonna continue kicking your butts but honestly it seems like your best move regardless.

He was rewarded with another volley of deadly lasers. Good, if they were firing at him, up in the air, they were less likely to hit something or someone on the ground around them.

It also gave Felicia plenty of time to sneak up on them.

The whole group has repeatedly assured the girl that no, fighting crime was not a requirement to be a part of the relationship, but that did nothing to stop her from following them out at night when she was finally healed.

He wasn’t complaining, she was a huge help, especially since they had to split up to take on all the sudden incident reports that were coming in. She had paired up with him, while Kate had taken the motorcycle with the panther drone. Shuri wasn’t controlling it that day, as she found herself swamped with her day job of running her countries technology enterprise, forcing Peter to wonder how she has ever had time for them in the first place. The minor AI she installed in it however was more than enough to back Kate up in a fight.

Yelena had gone alone, which he had argued against heavily, even though he was fully aware she was likely the best equipped to do so, not to mention the most experienced. In the end however there was worrying and being obnoxious, so he settled for her promise to call in once in a while to make sure she still breathing.

As his mind wandered. Peter very nearly let one of the beams hit him before screams of pain began sounding out below him. He winced as Felicia very efficiently slices through tendons and muscle, but he couldn’t fault her in this case. Better they suffer painful wounds they can heal from then any one of them getting a shot on her with the blasters.

Once they were all down and groaning, he dropped down to give them a once over, webbing up any wounds that looked to be bleeding too heavily. He’d spent nearly a month ensuring his webs were sterile and safe for medical application, though he never imagined he’d test it on the bad guys first. Probably for the best.

“Nice work!” He praised her, before narrowing his eyes at the fallen goons, specifically the matching tattoos they all sported. “Oh shit…”

Felicia followed the gaze and put the pieces together, “These aren’t part of Tinkerers crew…”

“They call themselves the Regretfuls, rather apt considering.”

Peter and Felicia were instantly on alert, searching for the source of the new voice. They didn’t have to search long.

“Sorry.” A red and gold suited man dropped from a fire escape nearby, holding his hands up in surrender when they fell into ready stances, though his smirk showed amusement more than fear, “Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“We weren’t scared!” Felicia snarled.

“Speak for yourself…” Peter muttered, before noticing the horns and connecting the dots, “Wait… are you… Daredevil?”

“Got it in one.”

“Really “ Felicia slowly pulled herself up straight to eyeball the man, “You’re the guy that every crime family in town looks over their shoulder for?”

“I try to be.” He grinned crookedly, “I’m afraid I haven’t heard of you however.”

She stared a bit before huffing, “Black Cat.”

“Suh-Spider-Man.” Peter answered, staring at the older hero in fascination.

“You I do know. I’m a bit of a fan actually, you do good work, maybe even better than me if I’m honest.”

“A fan… wait no!” Peter argued, “You do way cooler stuff than me! You send entire criminal organizations packing on your own! I just stop what I can. People don’t exactly whisper fearfully about Spider-Man like they do the Devil of Hell’s Kitchen…”

“Don’t undersell yourself, but we can circle back to that. This isn’t a social call unfortunately, I thought we could help one another.”

“With what?” Peter asked, only to get pounded looks by both Felicia and Daredevil, “Right! Right, mass waves of deadly armed criminals got it.”

“As you’ve probably guessed, these weapons are being distributed heavily now, with very little consideration for who they’re being sold to. Now we have more to worry about than plain old robberies. I’ve heard you’ve been working for days to stop what you can. So have I, but unless we actually get to the source of the problem this won’t be going away anytime soon.”

“Well we took out their boss already.” Felicia supplied.

“Just once I wish a criminal organization would scatter to the wind as soon as their boss is arrested. It’s only polite!” Peter insisted.,

“Doesn’t work like that in my experience.” Daredevil sighed, “You need to be systematic, taking down their infrastructure on every level. Doesn’t always matter if the boss is taken out when a new one can be appointed just as easily. I can show you how it’s done.”

“Like a team up?”

“Kind of exactly like that.”

He opened his mouth to agree, before remembering he wasn’t just speaking for himself, “I’ll have to consult the others but I can’t think of a reason they’d say no.”

“Understandable. When you decide, meet me at this location,” he handed over a card, “and we can all start strategizing.”

“Are we the only ones you’re asking?”

“There’s a few, couple of good people I’ve worked with before. I just hope they’ll be happy to see me.”

“Why wouldn’t they?” Felicia narrowed her eyes.

“Last time we talked was a few years ago. They probably thought I was dead for a while and I never really got around to visiting them after I got better…”

Felicia and Peter stared at him before nodding, “Yeah that’s tough. Good luck with that.”

He nodded before pulling out a baton on his hip. He aimed at a roof nearby and the tip shot up, revealing itself as a grappling hook. “Be seeing you.” He pulled himself into the air.

Once he was gone Peter turned to Felicia, “That was…”

“Suspicious?”

“Cool!” Peter finished before looking at her in confusion, “Wait why would it be suspicious?”

“He literally dresses up as the Devil Spider. That doesn’t raise any flags for you?”

“He’s a good guy! And he’s been doing this longer than I have! He’s a small part of the reason I became Spider-Man. You don’t think my first idea to help the world with my powers was going out in my pajamas do you?”

“It does seem like a very Peter Parker decision if you ask me”

“Harsh. Well let’s call the others and ask what they think… they won’t say no will they?”

“Can’t see why they would, still it’s good you didn’t just commit us all on a whim, even if you are kind of the team leader.”

“What? No! If anything Yelena’s team leader she’s way better at—“

“Whose idea was it to split up and go out today?”

“… ah. Okay but I didn’t think of it as leading! Just an idea to help us. I don’t think we really even need a leader.”

“We don’t, but well… you have the stick of power.”

“The stick of… are you talking about my dick?”

“Possibly. You’ve been rather stingy with it so far.”

“We literally just started dating a couple weeks ago!”

“You’re so cute. Some guys would have broken up with me by now from ‘holding out on them’.”

“Well that’s stupid. Is it really bothering you?“

“No not really.” She chuckled, “Though I am ready when you are, I know you’ve taken it slow with the others.”

“I think that was mostly cause of how terrified I was of messing up my first time. Tell you what, soon as this mess is sorted, I’m yours as soon as you want. Deal?”

“Motivating me to work harder with a promise of sexual reward?”

“What? No I just meant—“

“Aye aye captain,” she saluted before turning to begin climbing the building. “Not a leader my ass.”

He opened his mouth to protest, but… well… her ass. He sighed in defeat before crawling after it.

A quick call to the others confirmed both their safety and their willingness to work with the older hero. The meet up would be later during the evening so they had time to wrap up a few more incidents before gathering to attend.

It was during this time that a phone call sent Peter into a near catatonic state of anxious regret.

“I am SO sorry Dr. Connors!” He cried into the phone as three girls watched in a mixture of pity and amusement, “I swear I did plan to come in but today has been so hectic with all these attacks going around and— oh shit did t even ask you’re okay right? Right… you were in the lab so you probably wouldn’t be. Look… I’m probably not going be able to come in for a few days.”

As he continued his regretful explanation, the girls had a little conference of their own on the other end of the rooftop.

“So Catherine definitely has a thing for him right?” Kate started with a grin.

“Oh most certainly.” Yelena nodded, “She was giving him looks all night when she came out.”

“She definitely seems like the pent up type.” Felicia chimed in, “add being alone with Peter for hours on end well… we all know what that can do to a gal.”

“Not just that, but doing science with him!” Kate added gleefully, “Oh hell you haven’t seen him in a lab coat yet have you Cat?”

“Uh, no… why?”

“He is very passionate about his work.” Yelena sighed, “Imagine Peters baby brown eyes with an even brighter gleam of excitement than usual.”

“…Fuck okay. But how does the lab coat figure in?”

“That is more Kate Bishops fetish.”

“Hey! It’s not a… well okay maybe. I think it kind of awakens some primal lizard brain instinct or something. He bounces and whirls around in that thing and the way it flutters around him is just…” Kate trailed off as her cheeks heated up, “He looks good it in okay.”

“But wouldn’t it cover up all his muscles?” Felicia frowned uncertainly.

“There is something to be said for clothes that ‘leave more to the imagination’. Yelena pondered, “Personally I prefer him in the suit.”

“Yeah cause it’s skin tight.” Kate snorted.

“Exactly. You should take notes Kate bishop, while your outfit is quite attractive as it is, I do believe you could pull off something a bit bolder.”

Kate but her lip, “Well I was thinking of altering a bit, maybe adding some hip and shoulder holes…” she looked up dumbfounded expressions, “What?”

“I didn’t say anything!” Felicia stifled a laugh.

“Kate Bishop, you know I love you, but that is possibly the stupidest thing you’ve ever said.”

“Wow okay, that’s what I get for opening up I guess…”

“No, what you get for being open, at least in terms of your outfit, is shot and/or stabbed. I was only suggesting a tighter fit or some kind of accessory. What possible function could hip or shoulder holes serve?”

“…I run pretty hot okay! This thing gets sweaty!”

“You should try wearing a full coverage onesie.” Peter quipped, rather half-heartedly, walking over to sit on the ledge as his call had finally ended.

“Is she angry?” Felicia asked.

“Worse, she sounded disappointed.” Peter groaned into his hands, “I feel like such a jerk! After all she’s done for me!”

“Peter, you cannot he blamed for forgetting when the whole city is practically under attack.” Yelena chided, “Better you’ve disappointed her than the families of all those you saved tonight.”

Despite the dark implications, the words seemed to work, “I… yeah you’re right. Still I hate to let her down you know?”

“Yeah she has serious mom energy.” Kaye nodded.

“Oh so she’s a MILF?” Felicia blurted.

“What? No! Felicia—“

“As she is not actually a mother, we can only say she had big MILF energy.” Kate explained authoritatively.

“Can we not talk about her like that?” Peter pleaded.

“Honestly you two, if the only guy here has to remind you to respect women it really should tell you something.” Yelena chided.

“You’re just jealous you don’t have MILF energy.” Felicia smirked.

“That is hardly my fault.” Yelena deadpanned, and the edge in her tone dropped the temperature a few degrees around them. “We should go, we don’t want to be late the superhero clubhouse.” With that she turned to leave, giving them no choice but to follow.

Felicia shot questioning looks to Peter and Kate before they left, but neither of them had an answer for Yelena’s reaction, and it was obvious she didn’t wish to explain. Not then anyways.

They made it to the spot rather quickly, and found they weren’t the first ones there.

Two men stood on the roof together, one tall and dark, one smaller and a bit wiry, though they laughed and conversed happily together.

Peter landed first, startling the pair as the others followed suit behind him.

“Sweet Christmas!” The larger one exclaimed, “What the hell are you doing sneaking up like that!”

“Spider-Man!” The younger one grinned, “It is an honor to make your acquaintance!”

“Uh, thanks?”

“What are we chopped liver?” Felicia muttered.

The man frowned, “My apologies, I’m afraid I do not recognize the rest of you…”

“Doesn’t get more recognizable than red and blue spandex…” his companion rumbled.

“Right, introductions then!” Kate chirped, “I’m Hawkeye!”

“Black Cat.”

“White Tiger.”

“Meow.” The panther drone meowed.

“Y’all like cats huh?” The large man observed.

“It just sort of happened, unintentionally.” Peter assured him. “And you are?”

“Luke Cage.”

“Danny Rand,” the shorter one smiled proudly, “But in battle I go by the Immortal Iron Fist.”

“That’s… nice?”

“It is!”

“So you guys are supposed to be superheroes?” Yelena quirked a brow.

“Never claimed that.” Luke gruffed, “Not interested in tights or cat costumes either.”

“Don’t knock it til you try it.” Felicia shrugged.

“I think what he’s trying to say is we’re heroes when the moment calls for it.” Danny broke in. “As for the super part well… I suppose it may be accurate.” He raised a fist, reveling in the shocked looks as it flowed gold.

“Yeah yeah, you little show off.” Shook his head. “I’ll tell you since we might be getting into some shot together: I’m strong, and I’m tough. If a bullet storms flying our way feel free to step behind me for cover. Hardly feel them anymore these days.”

“Handy.” Kate nodded.

“Not handy enough. Still leaves his clothes all shot to hell, that shit gets expensive.” A new voice turned their attention to the stairwell, revealing Jessica as she slammed the door behind her.

“Jessica!” Luke and Danny greeted.

“Uh huh, long time no see and all that.”

“I see you’ve hardly changed.” Danny grinned.

“And you’re still annoying as ever so I guess we’re—goddamnit.” She was cut off as Yelena has snuck behind her and lifted her up in a bear hug from behind.

“Jess! Why didn’t you tell me you were part of a superhero club?”

“Because I’m not! Now let me down damn it! Seriously, fuck your magic tiger strength bullshit!”

Yelena set her down gently, only for the investigator to be greeted with shocked look from Luke and Danny. “What?”

“You’re not going to kill her?” Danny asked tentatively.
Jessica looked between them, and the smugly grinning Yelena, before sighing in defeat, “No. she’s my… friend I guess…”

“Best friend.” Yelena corrected.

“Baby steps.”

“Shit, I guess I really have seen everything.” Luke smirked.

“Fuck you.”

“Ah there she is.”

“Thank you all for coming.” They all looked up to see Daredevil on top of the stairwell entrance, brooding figure silhouetted with the lights of the city begin d him. “As you all know, a new threat has appeared in our city. It’s going to take all of us to— ow!” He stumbled as a soda can bounced off his armored head a dangerous speeds.

“Screw you Murdock!” Jessica snarled, hand reaching for another projectile, “You don’t get to die, come back, never come let us know you’re okay, then summon us years later to start monologuing at us!”

“Look, Jessica I didn’t mean— ah! Shit!” Another can hit him in the jaw.

“Wait… Murdock? You don’t mean Matt Murdock do you?” Peter asked slowly.

Daredevil froze, before scowling down at Jessica, “Thanks a lot!”

“Happy to help!”

Catherine sighed after hanging up with Peter. Honestly she should have guessed the reason he didn’t show up. She had in fact, and the worry that the chaos in the city had resulted in him physically unable to show up left her so panicked that she had no choice but to call him if she wanted any peace of mind.

Despite herself she was disappointed, not in him, it’s only sensible to lay low even crazy men with energy guns were running around. No she was disappointed because she didn’t get to see him that day, and the sudden loss made her realize she had spent the whole weekend looking forward to it. She was in way too deep.

She had hesitantly admitted as much to Pepper. A part of her worried it might lead to Peter getting kicked off the project, so she made sure to explain how good a job he does and that the only one with a problem was her. It didn’t end how she expected.

“So basically what you’re saying is after spending months of time with this hyper-competent, extremely mature, not entirely bad looking young man, you’ve developed a bit of a crush?” Her employer and, let’s face it, closest friend summed up.

“I’m such an idiot.” She groaned put, head falling onto the desk in front of the monitor.

“Catherine, honey, you’re not an idiot. You’re a women. A very lonely woman if we want to be frank about it.”

“Oh sure go right ahead.” She drawled.

“Think about who you’re talking to. You really think I’d judge you for an unorthodox and well… traditionally inappropriate workplace relationship?”

“Tony Stark wasn’t barely legal when you first met him.”

“That’s… true. But barely legal is still legal! The reason for that law is to protect the immature from being taken advantage of and by the sounds of it he is far from immature, considering his… other relationships.”

“Which is exactly why you shouldn’t be encouraging me!” Catherine whined, “He has four girlfriends already! Four! One of them is an actual princess!”

“Wait really? Which one?”

“It hardly matters! They’re all so beautiful and amazing and fun! I’m just… me. Hell I’m barely that…”

“Hey!” She looked up to see Pepper’s stern warrior-queen expression that sent rival businessmen running with tails between their legs. “Just you is more than most women I’ve met could ever hope to be. You are brilliant, driven, beautiful and strong!”

“Strong?”

“Catherine, I put you in charge of perfecting a formula that regrows limbs with the small side effect of giving you superhuman abilities, and for years you’ve resisted using it on yourself.”

“I would never betray your trust like that!”

“I know.” She smiled, “But that doesn’t mean you’ve never thought about it right?”

“…I’m only human.”

“Yes, you are. And honestly? If you had given in, I wouldn’t have even blamed you.”

“W-well there would be questions! The project would have been put at risk and—“

“Will you please just take the compliment?”

“Right… you’re right. Thank you. But if I’m as strong as you say, I should be strong enough to resist throwing myself at my teenage intern.”

“Even if he feels the same way?”

“Virginia…”

“Alright alright.” The redhead chuckled, “I’ll drop it for now, but any guy would be lucky to have you, and if he’s as smart as you say he is…”

“Was there anything else?”

“Yes actually… I’ve been considering sending you some extra help. I know that the recent setback was discouraging.”

“I’m not giving up.”

“I know, believe me I do. But the person I’m talking about will undoubtedly be useful in your work and she has expertise in fields… beyond science. She’s planning on moving to New York soon for personal reasons and I thought working with you would be a great way for her to keep busy while she figures things out. It’s only if you agree of course.”

“Aren’t you the boss here?”

“Catherine.”

“Okay!” She sighed. “If you think she’ll help then I’m sure we’ll be lucky to have her.”

“Great! She should be over in a few days. I have to go put Morgan to bed, but seriously! Don’t be a stranger! I know you get caught up in your work but try to at least call once a week? I worry and I like talking with you!”

“Nothing to do with being the only human adult in that cabin?”

“I’m so damn lonely.” Pepper deadpanned. “I love my girls and I don’t regret a thing but give me normal adult conversation please.”

Catherine laughed openly at her friend, “I’ll do my best. You’re a great mom Pepper. I hope you know that.”

“I damn well better be…”

The end of the night finally arrived for her and she felt a bit better about everything. She still had no idea about how to handle Peter, (well she had lots of ideas—no! Bad thoughts!) but it no longer felt like a world ending crisis.

So of course, as she locked the warehouse door behind her, and made her way towards home, her night had to take a turn for the absolute worst.

She was a few blocks away when she started feeling eyes on her. That was nothing new, people stared at amputees all the time. The problem was that looking around didn’t reveal any sign of life around her. She started to walk faster.

The feeling stayed, and she started seeing movement in the shadows, subtle noises that had her flinching. Her fast walk became a power walk, then a jog.

Then she turned and saw a figure in the dark behind her. She ran, right into four more of them.

She was surrounded before she knew it. Figures in strange black and red outfits blocking every avenue of escape. She clutched a can of pepper spray in her pocket, though she doubted it would help with such numbers. “What do you want!? Let me go!”

They did not, instead keeping her trapped for several moments before a car drove up beside them. It stopped right next to them, and a well dressed man stepped out of the drivers seat, walking casually over to the passenger door and opening it, before looking at Catherine pointedly. “Dr. Connors? If you would?”

“I’m not going anywhere with you!” She spat with more fire than she felt.

“The car will not move I assure you. This will just be a friendly chat, and though I’d rather this stay polite, I assure you my associates can get you in the vehicle whether you wish to or not so please?”

She stared at the man as he waited patiently for her answer. In the end she decided not to get manhandled and stepped into the vehicle, the man nodding politely and closing it after her.

She found herself sat next to an ancient looking Asian woman, and a rather battered one at that. She was missing everything below one of her elbows, and had a rather gruesome scar on one side of her face that drew attention to one of her missing ears. Already she began suspecting what the chat would be about.

“You know about my work.” She stated with a dry mouth.

Despite her condition, the woman smiled the kindly grandmother smile everyone knew. “Very astute, I appreciate that.”

“You won’t get it, the security on that building will alert the moment anyone but me enters, no matter what you do.”

“Yes we are aware. However, we are also aware that your intern may also enter.”

Catherine’s blood ran cold. “I don’t have an intern.”

“Oh? Has young Peter Parker been fired already? Shame. I suppose I’ll just have the men watching him get rid of him if he’s no use—“

“No!” She shouted, “Please! I’m sorry I lied! Don’t hurt him!”

“That’s better.” The woman gave the same smile. It made Catherine sick to her stomach.

“What do you want?”

“The same thing you want. To see your work come to fruition… with one extra favor.” She reached down and picked up a small case, opening it to reveal several vials of a strange substance inside. “I believe this will provide the answers you need to finish your work.”

“What is it?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you. However you should know it has the ability to revive the dead, without any immolating side effects.”

“That’s impossible.”

“It is now.” The woman agreed sadly. “This amount wouldn’t do the job, and this is all we have left. So my proposal is this: use your lab and resources to create more for me.”

Catherine blinked, “That’s it? You could do that anywhere!”

“Not with this, unfortunately. It is a rather… unique substance. However, do believe that formula you’re working in may be the key reproducing it “

“The Extremis formula works by reading an organisms DNA.”

“And this once belonged to an organism.” The woman smirked with some sort of inside joke. “In exchange for a reliable way to produce more, you may use some to further your own goals, and we will never see each other again.”

An obvious lie, at least to Catherine, but she saw no point in saying so. “And of I refuse? You’ll kill me?”

“Ideally no. You have the most experience with the formula. No if you refuse to cooperate I think we’ll kill young Peter. So, do we have a deal.”

A part of her told her to stop, think and consider her options. Was Peters life worth potentially unleashing such a dangerous formula in the worst hands imaginable?

The rest of her just nodded immediately. “I’ll do it, just don’t hurt Peter.”

Another knowing smile, “We won’t, so long as he behaves himself.”

Chapter Text

If took a while for Daredevil to get Jessica go calm down enough to stop hitting him with assorted litter. He made several apologies, all of which were met with brutal indifference.

Then there was the question of how Peter knew his civilian identity. He nearly told him ‘you were my lawyer’ until he remembered the man likely had no recollection of that whatsoever.

“I uh… I’ve read about some of your cases!” He’s had other cases besides Spider-Man right?”

“Oh yeah? Which ones?”

“The… successful one’s?” As his mind raced to dig himself out of the hole, he remembered something crucial, “Wait… aren’t you supposed to be blind?!”

To his relief, the ploy worked as Daredevil sighed and gave the bow extremely curious onlookers that didn’t already know him a rundown of how his powers worked. Guess that was how he caught the brick…

“Well that explains the suit…” Felicia muttered quietly.

“Again, super hearing.” Daredevil reminded flatly.

“She’s got a point though.” Jessica noted, eying him up and down with her signature unimpressed expression, “You looked pretty stupid before but at least the all red made sense… wait do you know what color you are—“

“I know what the colors are!” He snapped in irritation. “For your information, I went to a highly recommended designer for this! He specializes in superhero attire so forgive me if I trust his judgment over yours.”

“And exactly how many super suit designers are there? Not counting Tinkerer?” Yelena asked.

“…well one right now. The last one retired…”

“You should ask for your money back.” Luke suggested, Danny snickering beside him.

“Maybe we should get back on track.” Peter suggested carefully,

“Yes! Thank you Spider-Man! We need to take these guys down from the ground up. I’m sorry if me assuming leadership—“ He glanced at Jessica, “offended anyone, but I feel I have the most experience. Does anyone disagree?”

No one did.

“Alright then. For starters, some interrogation has garnered some intel a lot of us are not gonna like.”

Yelena scoffed before looking to Peter, “So he gets to interrogate people but I I don’t?” It had been one of the many rules he had requested that she follow starting out.

“Please don’t take this the wrong way: I worry less for the criminals a man dressed as the literal Devil interrogates than anyone you get you’re hands on.”

She put on a bashful expression and fanned herself dramatically “Oh милый, you Always do know what to say!” She looked at Jessica, “Didn’t I tell you?”

Jessica took a swig from her flask she was apparently keeping in her pocket, “I do my absolute best to forget everything you tell me about him.”

“Oh I know! Then I get to tell you all over again!”

She took another swig.

“Anyways.” Daredevil continued. “I learned that this was all set in motion when a new player swept in to take control after Tinkerer was arrested. Thing is, based on the descriptions, it sounds like the new player is one some of us have met before.” His tone left no argument on who he was referring to.

“You have to be kidding me.” Danny groaned, “I thought we pushed them all out!”

“They probably just laid low a bit until they felt powerful enough to make a move.”

“And as usual it’s a dick fucking move.” Jessica sighed.

“Are y’all gonna keep this ‘you had to be there’ thing running or are you planning to share with the class?” Peter asked.

“They’re called the Hand. They’re an ancient criminal organization that had its fingers in every corner of the earth, including this one.”

“Until we broke it.” Luke added.

“An ancient criminal organization?” Kate repeated in disbelief, “I’m not sure whether to be scared or impressed.”

“Be scared.” Danny told her seriously, “They pass down secrets and techniques that cultivate the most deadly combatants you can imagine.”

“They also used dragon blood to make drugs and resurrect themselves.” Jessica added.

That garnered a more potent reaction.

“Dragons are real?!” Peter gawked.

“Were real.” Danny corrected. “Most of them are dead and gone now, with only a few especially powerful ones remaining, but none of them reside on earth.”

“Space dragons?!”

“Well no, more like mystical pocket dimensions…”

“Slow down before you break him please?” Felicia requested as Peter gripped the sides of his head to process the implications.

“The point is our enemy is old, and far more experienced than all of us combined.” Daredevil continued, “We need up proceed carefully, and more importantly: as a team. Here’s where I think we should start…

The heroes listened intently as Daredevil laid out the strategy, before breaking up into duos to start taking on the few dealer outposts Daredevil had uncovered.

Kate went with Luke, seeing as she was the only one without a superpower. The man seemed happy enough to serve as her mobile bullet shield as she took at least one enemy out with each arrow shot.

Felicia had reluctantly agreed to accompany Danny, with the panther drone providing them backup. She had to begrudgingly admit his skull in martial arts vastly outclassed her own, though she had the benefit if a bulletproof suit so it sort of evened out.

Jessica and Yelena obviously stick together, having a great deal of experience fighting with each other afyer their girls night out. Their method of combat was… actually better left unsaid. Suffice it to say, their foes got the worst out of anyone that night.

Peter found himself paired with Daredevil. Unexpected, but quite welcome. He marveled as he followed the older hero through the streets, showing a level of agility that even he had to work to keep up with.

“How are you doing that?” He had to ask as they raced away from a busted hideout.

“Super senses, like I said.”

“Okay but no way good hearing translated to doing quadruple backflips as easily as if you were breathing!”

“Humans have more than just the five senses Spider-Man. My sense of balance was increased as well.” Peter gasped in understanding and readied to ask more, when Matt continued. “How do you know me?

“Huh? Like I said I read you’re—“

“That’s a lie.” He was cut off. “I can hear your heartbeat Spider-Man, hell I can smell the guilt. It’s very hard to sneak one by me but you have got to be the worst liar I’ve ever met.”

“… so I’ve been told.” He grumbled.

“Well? Are you going to tell me or am I going to have to divide my attention between fighting and keeping an eye on you? This doesn’t work without trust.”

“I… you’re right.” He swallowed quickly before saying, “You represented me once.”

“… Your civilian identity?”

“Yeah.” It wasn’t technically a lie. His identity had been very public at the time.

“Any hints?”

Peter sighed as he vaulted over a building, “Look I don’t—“

“Identities are important. Trust me I know… did we win?”

Peter smirked under his mask, “Yeah. You’re a really good lawyer.”

“Damn straight.”

They arrived at their destination, a small alley where several of the deals were said to go down. Sure enough, there was a group of men standing around a van. A quick nod from Daredevil confirmed what was inside.

“Alright how about I go in first, draw their attention, then you—“

“Move!”

Peter was already moving, but it didn’t really help. Three stabs of pain exploded in his back and he tumbled down into the alley.

Daredevil was by his side a moment later, “Shit, Spider-Man are you—“

“Pull them out!” He gritted. He didn’t know what was in his back but he knew he did not want them there.

“That’s a bad idea.”

“I can’t fight like this, and my healing factor will heal around them if you leave them too long! Just do it!”

The man hesitated for half a second before growling in frustration. A moment later Peter howled as the offending objects were wrenched out of him quickly.

He pushed through it, twisting his arm around with inhuman flexibility to spray the wounds with his medi-webs. It would stem the bleeding, but did nothing for the pain. He’d has to work on that.

He groaned to his feet, seeing Daredevil stood protectively in front of him as the goons closed in. He eyes three peculiar looking knives on the ground. “They didn’t throw those.”

“No.”

“You tracking who did?”

Daredevils grimaced, “If they serve the Hand, they are able to conceal their heartbeat, not to mention their footsteps, I have to rely on the sound of their blood flowing through their veins and their limbs pushing the air aside. My range of for them is a lot smaller. Your spider sense didn’t warn you?”

Peter had told him about it earlier as explanation for why him facing bullets head on was a good idea. The fact that he could dodge bullets and not knives was sort of putting a damper on that, but it was pretty hard not to realize where a gun shot was coming from and dodge accordingly. “It told me danger was coming, but it didn’t say from where, then I was stabbed.” He thought he had gotten the hang of it during his fight with Mysterio, but the warning he got from incoming bullet spray was just a tad more intense and obvious than throwing knives. Maybe his sense differentiated based on the level of danger he was presented with?

Just another reason he couldn’t keep relying on it for everything. He stretched his shoulder a bit, using the action to sneak a web shot at one of the approaching goons. The rest rushed in and the fight was on.

Fighting the Tink-Toters was tedious enough without constantly searching for surprise attacks from the shadows. Lucky for him, Daredevil stuck close and occasionally swatted a stray knife out of the air with his batons. Try as he might, he couldn’t trace them
Back to whoever they were coming from.

“Are you hearing them coming or something?” He asked, wondering how the others would handle it without Daredevil providing assistance.

“Air pressure, I can feel it moving toward us.” Was the reply as they both delivered the final blow, knocking out the last guy with mirrored fists to the face.

Then they were at each other’s backs, circling slowly as they watched for more projectiles.

“Think I could do that?” He asked quietly.

“Not sure, how enhanced are your senses?”

“Enough that I had to train myself to ignore them most of the time to avoid sensory overload.”

“Sounds about right. Close your eyes.”

“What!”

“I have you covered. Close your eyes and focus! We aren’t getting out of this until they run out of knives or we take them down, and I can’t do that while having to protect you!”

Peter did so, though all he accomplished was focusing on his spider sense, which screamed mindlessly at him as the knives increased in number and came from every direction, “Focus what?!”

“Calm your mind, focus on your breathing.” He spoke gently, even as he had to push his body to keep up wry the onslaught. “Let your thought wander, acknowledge each one as they come and let it go.”

“How is that—“

“Spider!”

He clamped his mouth shut and did as he was told, though it wasn’t easy to relax when he knew was constantly under attack. Still, it was so or die, so he followed his steps to the best of his ability.

Once his mind quoted, and his breathing evened out, he whispered, “What next?”

“Your mind is clear. Now use all the empty space to focus on your senses, specifically feel the air around you, how it shifts as I move.”

He did so, and winced as he loosened the subconscious leash on his senses.

“Don’t shy from it, it’s gonna suck but do the same thing, acknowledge, understand, then let go. One step at a time.”

Peter did so, trying to take his time but he was very aware of Daredevils breathing getting heavier around him.

He started with sound, as it was his biggest annoyance. He acknowledged the screams and cries of the city around him, identifying each one before moving on.

Next we’re the smells. That was a bit harder, living in Manhattan and all, but he persevered.

Taste didn’t really apply so he skipped that one. Tasting New York didn’t seem like a good idea anyway.

Finally he focused on touch, on the movement of the air around him. It was subtle, nearly too subtle, and he might not have managed it, but as one of those oh so subtle shifts occurred, his spider sense blared, and the connection was made.

His hand was up with unnatural speed, and he caught the blade between two fingers in front of his head. He opened his eyes to see Daredevil’s baton a few centimeters from the blade. Ready to strike should he have failed.

The horned hero grinned, “Got it?”

“Just barely but yeah.”

“Good, now try it while moving.”

That was a far more difficult proposition, but he managed to pull it off as he followed daredevil towards where they see coming from. Apparently after the third knife he caught, they realized the tactic was a bust.

Three figures formed from
The shadows and… well they were ninjas. Real ones. A part of Peter wanted to laugh at his ridiculous and kind of awesome it was. The rest of him was eying their assorted razor sharp weaponry with building dread.

“Any more advice?” He asked hopefully.

“Don’t get cut.” Daredevil supplied helpfully, before brandishing his batons and charging forward.

Easier said than done. It was easier now that he could actually see who he was fighting, but they attacked with insane speed and better skill. He ended up with few scratched before he realized it.

Still, it seemed in a fair fight, spider skills trumped ninja, and he managed to land a good web line one, pulling him in for a solid kick to the face, just in time to see Daredevil finish off the other two with a jumping mix air split kick that had him staring in awe.

“You sure you don’t have devil powers or something?”

Daredevils, snickered, despite his obvious exhaustion. “Well, as a Catholic I sure as hell hope not.”

“Heh! Sure as hell…”

They encountered a few more ninjas that night as they had apparently taken to guarding the dealers. Of course the checked on with the others first, finding that they’d had similar encounters.

All in all everyone was in one piece. Luke obviously didn’t have a scratch, and when knives started flying, Kate had tracked their trajectory and fired before they could change positions.

Felicia had a nick on her cheek, but overall seemed fine. Danny had drawn them out pretty quickly with a chi powered shockwave and though they were fast, she was armored and vicious.

Yelena and Jessica got the worst of it, each having been stuck more than a few times before Yelena got pissed and just powered through the pain, leaping into the shadows and dragging the ninjas out, their forms plain as fat with her goggles on. Her injuries had already healed, while Jessica was covered in bandages procured from Yelena’s all powerful utility vest.

It was a nasty surprise, but after conferring at the end of the night, they would go out more prepared the next day.

Catherine felt sweat roll down her neck and her back ache as she hunched over the work bench, carefully distributing samples of the mystery substance into vials for duplication.

It was hard not to be nervous with men with guns and swords standing at every doorway, all just to watch her and keep her trapped and busy. She’d been allowed limited bathroom and lunch breaks but otherwise they were working her to the bone.

An alert from her monitor caught her attention. It was the test results from the compatibility analysis. She walked over and gained at what she saw.

According to her system, the mystery substance would bond perfectly with the formula. She had tried bindings before, and never tested anything under ninety percent compatibility. All had failed of course, but one hundred percent compatibility was a new one for her.

It promised interesting results at least. It definitely meant reproduction of the substance was possible, though she had no plans on revealing that any time soon.

“Find something interesting?”

She nearly jumped as she turned to find the old woman sat beside her in her wheelchair. She had only recently learned her name.

“Madame Gao.” She spoke evenly. As awful a situation as she was in. She saw how the men treated her. Disrespect was mot an option. “My readings are… promising.”

“Then you will begin testing soon.”

“Not for another month at least! I have to go over the compound piece by piece to make sure—“

“Tomorrow.” Gao corrected, “Caution is commendable, but I have watched humanity grow, and the only way to truly push forward is to take risks. Be ready.”

Catherine gaped at her, but eventually nodded. This was insane, but what could she do? She thought to her last conversation with Pepper and grimaced. Whoever she was sending would arrive soon. It would probably be better to be done with the mess before that happened, lest they be put in danger as well. That would only work if the experiment succeeded however which historically…

Her mind drifted to Peter next. She couldn’t lie to herself, he was the only reason she was doing this. She would die to keep her work out of the wrong hands but she had no right to condemn anyone else, and Peter… well just imagining it was enough to clench her heart.

“How do I know he’s safe?” She asked aloud.

“The boy? You do not. Though if you would like a finger or something as proof I’m sure we could get it to you still warm—“

“No!” She backtracked, then paused. “Wait… are you watching him or so do you have him hostage?”

The woman tilted her scarred head and smiled, “Does it matter?”

It did matter, because she knew for a fact that if he were captured there would be several women looking for him, one of which was a superhero, another a princess whose brother was a superhero. Wakanda had far too many resources, if he were captured surely he would be found right? And if they were watching him, he was still under protection…

You had to take risks to advance right?

“The experiment will proceed tomorrow night.” She told her.

“Good.” Gao nodded. “I will return then.”

As she wheeled away, Catherine’s mind began racing to form a plan. It would be desperate, and possibly lethal, but it was better than the alternative.

Probably.

Chapter Text

It had taken two days but they finally found it: the main hide out of the remaining Tink-Toters.

It was an exhausting ordeal, even for those with enhanced physiology, but of the hundreds of criminals they’d taken down across the city, one of them had finally proven to be the weak link.

“So what’s the play here?” Jessica asked, “We go in quiet? Loud?”

“Loud sounds good to me,” Kate suggested, peering down next to her at the inconspicuous building that supposedly held the evil lair, “Last time we tried to be sneaky didn’t exactly go to plan.”

“Chances are this’ll be a trap as well,” Daredevil agreed, “But that doesn’t mean we should throw caution to the wind. If Spider-Man and I take point, I’m sure we’ll be able to detect any possible danger before it happens.”

“I’ll join you.” Luke stated evenly, “Y’all are real good at dodging but it’ll be easier to have someone to hide behind, no offense.”

“I’m just glad I wasn’t the only one thinking it.” Peter chuckled.

To the side, the panther drone jumped up onto Yelena’s shoulder and projected a map in front of them, which she examined with interest, “It appears the drone has done a scan of the structure that reveals an alternate entrance via vents and crawl space.”

“I’ll go with you.” Felicia volunteered.

“Great, now we just have to think of your team name.” Peter stated seriously.

“What?”

“The Panther Drone, the White Tiger and Black cat? It’s a Cat themed team up! Cat squad would obviously be too easy…”

“Is that really the priority right now?” Danny asked in confusion.

“No no, he’s got a point.” Kate murmered, before snapping, “I got it! Pussy Patrol!”

A round of boos and groans echoed from the others, though Kate never wavered. Yelena just smiled indulgently, “Very well Kate Bishop. Pussy Patrol it is.”

“Do I get a say in this?” Felicia asked i bewilderment.

“Of course Pussycat, you say yes ma’am.”

“I…” everyone stated at her as she struggled to form a rebuke, but Yelena’s stare proved to be the most powerful and she lowered her head to hide her red face, “…Yes ma’am.”

“Good girl.”

As the three felines made their own way, Daredevil cleared his throat, “Lets go.”

As they entered the facility, Luke spoke up from the front, uncharacteristically cautious, “So that Felicia and Yelena, they’re…”

“Don’t fucking ask.” Jessica warned.

“I admit I’ve been curious as well.” Danny added, “Daredevil?”

“I have enhanced senses.” He responded gruffly, “I can smell exactly what’s going on and trust me, we don’t have time to go over it. Focus on the mission.”

Peter swallowed nervously, “Smell? Really?”

He was fixed with a hard state, “Really.”

Their first obstacle came in the form of several motion detectors monitoring their path ahead, no doubt ready to trigger some hind of trap or alarm. Daredevil pointed them out, and Peter crawled just out of their line of sight to disable them quickly.

There were also a few locked doors but Luke was happy enough to crack them open.

The most surprising thing as they made their way in was the lack of guards trying to stop them. They encountered doe zen did trips and traps but no armed resistance.

The answer came to them when they finally made it to enormous main chamber.

Rows upon rows of workstations sat empty, the entire room silent but for the quiet whir of idle machinery.

“Did… did we already arrest them all?” Kate asked aloud.

“It has been a busy weekend.” Jessica mused.

“Maybe we should—“ Peter was cut off as the lights in the room all cut out at once.

“The hell?”

“I can’t see anything!”