Chapter Text
New York City breathes differently after they forget Peter Parker.
The tension on the streets loosens, the air sings louder, and the world finally rights itself to a sense of normalcy. Spider-Man is not necessarily beloved, but he is treated with a little more respect than before. Or at least back before people knew his identity and that he was just a senior in high school.
He’s still hounded by random guys who still think he killed Mysterio and the cops are on his ass the moment they see him and he’s alone and it’s fine because at least his identity is safe. MJ and Ned are safe. And if hearing Jameson’s vitriol makes his blood boil, he doesn’t say a word.
In all honesty, his situation still makes him angry—angry that Beck revealed him, angry that people were so quick to assume the worst, angry that his life has changed so drastically and he can’t even fault anyone else because, at the end of the day, he’s just angry at himself.
Spider-Man swings through the streets, waving lazily at the people who want to say hi. Wind rushes through his ears and it almost feels like everything’s normal. Just him in the air, the rhythmic push and pull of his webs catapulting him through the city. His stomach protests so he drops down to one of the hot dog carts he frequents.
“Hey, Spidey,” George says, whipping out a hot dog and placing it on a bun. He squirts down a healthy portion of mustard and hands it upwards.
Spider-Man’s perched on top of it and he gives him a hearty thanks as he reaches down and grabs his free food. He rolls up his mask and chews it, head bobbing. “You good?”
“Yeah, man,” he says, swallowing. “Thanks for this, really. You don’t have to.”
George waves his hand at him. “You saved my cart. It’s the least I can do.”
He chows down the rest and rolls down his mask. Hopping down, he grabs the minimal cash he stashes in his shoes and puts it in the tip jar.
“Aw, man, c’mon!” George whines. “It’s free for you! Anytime.”
Spider-Man knocks his fist twice against the counter lightly. “Nah. That’s for good service, George. I’ll see you around!”
Avoiding people, Spider-Man shoots a web and flings himself up towards the sky.
It’s not all bad, he’ll admit it. Some people like George make him really love helping his city out.
But May’s gone and so are his friends and he just can’t forget. That’s the irony, isn’t it? Everybody lost their memory of Peter Parker and he’s the only one left to carry the burden. Peter wanted too much from the world than it was willing to give him; it’s his fault and he has to live with it. Maybe it’s always meant to end like this: Peter, alone in an apartment he can barely afford; Spider-Man, New York’s vigilante, or its hero.
Alone, always alone.
Winter breaks him into someone new, someone tougher than he thought he could ever be; spring makes him grow into his new skin. Peter doesn’t even need to drop out of Midtown High because they have no record of him at all, so he gets his GED in a month or so. He takes all the odd jobs he can find, volunteering at F.E.A.S.T. when he has the time, which isn’t much but it at least makes him feel closer to May. He becomes friends with some of the regulars and meets Martin Li who seems like a pretty decent guy.
When money gets too tight, he sells selfies and videos of Spider-Man to J. Jonah Jameson because apparently nobody can catch him. He’s gotten good at ducking away from cameras after those months of infamy. His apartment is now rent-controlled and it’s just the small things that make life seem bearable.
Peter integrates himself back into the world little by little.
But still, he mentally marks the dates he would have gone through in his head. He spends the month of May without her and talks to her grave on her birthday. Sometimes Happy comes around and they get to talking, but Peter always leaves before he can ask more questions. Later that month, MJ and Ned graduate and he would have too. By the time August rolls around, they are probably setting off to MIT, away from New York. Away from his life.
His grief quiets, it softens. It folds itself into the corners of his mind, but it never leaves.
Spider-Man roams around the city, his old haunts, when grief threatens to deafen him. He visits Midtown High’s roof, trying to cloak himself in nostalgia. He swings by Ned’s place, his fire escape; he waves hi to Ned’s Lola when they catch each other’s attention. It makes him laugh every time she asks him to clean up cobwebs or take a few spiders outside. And when he swings by MJ’s roof, all it does is remind him of their impromptu dates. Well, now it just reminds him of her.
There are a few people he rarely sees. Or rather, people that he avoids after his multiversal incident. There’s Harry Osborn, son of Norman Osborn, and he seems like a pretty decent guy but Peter doesn’t want to get caught up in all that. Not when his father reminds him of May’s killer. So he steers clear of the up-and-coming science mogul and the shiny Oscorp building melding in with the rest of the skyline.
Then, Peter gets an offer for an internship with Otto Octavius even though he’s barely a freshman at Empire State University. Despite having liked the version of Octavius that Peter met, he can’t chance it. Knowing his Parker luck, he would probably try to help him and he’ll turn out as it did for Peter 2. So Peter writes him an email to say that he wants to get his degree first; Octavius writes back and tells him he understands and to get into contact with him when he’s in graduate school.
Peter drops by May’s grave on days when it feels too hard to be Peter Parker. The cold slab of stone reminds him of who he is without somebody else there.
He survives. He grows.
But he’s alone.