Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The door closes firmly behind as you make your way out into the afternoon sunshine. Work had been chaotic and a walk home would help clear your mind. A history teacher wasn’t the career you had always planned on but things had just worked out that way. Now you sort of enjoyed it. It was a stable life and you could work with a subject you loved. Life was almost ok.

Home was another story. You loved your family and would do anything for them, but they drained you and demanded too much at times. Still you knew you couldn’t leave them. Ever. You had raised your little siblings and would continue to be there for them no matter what. Despite your love, you also couldn’t mask the growing resentment. Sometimes, an increasingly common sometimes, you wanted to be free, to see the world and do something bigger with your life.

Unfortunately adventure and excitement seemed a distant dream. Instead you settled for what everyone settles for: fiction. Movies, T.V, books; they had all been your foray into other worlds and different lives. For a few blissful hours a day, you could be someone entirely different.

Your mind lingers on all these thoughts as you make your way home. The school you taught at was not far from where you lived. The neighbourhood was pretty small and you recognized the faces that passed by almost daily. But today something felt a little different. A strange feeling kept following you, like someone was watching. Chalking it up to a tired brain, you chose to ignore it and keep walking.

As you continue on your way, the feeling returns, overwhelming you this time. You stop and look around. There doesn’t seem to be anyone else around but something is off. Walking more cautiously, you look around as you make your way, paying careful attention to any windows that reflect things behind you.

Gasping, you stop as you catch a glimpse of a man behind you, a man who disappears as you turn. Deciding that leading the person to your home is not a good idea, you turn around and make your way towards a plaza nearby where hopefully you can lose your stalker. You try not to think about how they might have disappeared into thin air.

You're nearly there when a beam of sunlight falls directly on your eyes, temporarily blinding you. As you tilt you head and attempt to regain your vision, you realize you’re not alone. Three tall men surround you. You’re not one to run normally and would fight anyone, even much bigger men, but something about these guys makes you certain you could not fight them.

As you turn to run, the tallest of the three holds out his arm to stop you.

“Wait,” he calls, “we just want to talk.”

You do stop. Not because he asked you to, but because you recognized the voice. Sam?

You look up and finally get a proper look at the faces of the guys around you. Sam, Dean, and Cas. Immediately you think of what you have drunk or eaten. Maybe the heat is getting to you. Could this be a very lucid dream?

“Trust me, we are very real,” Cas assures you, as if he has read your thoughts.

“Is this a prank? What show am I on?” you ask looking from one to the other for answers. “Not that it isn’t great to meet you guys, I’m a big fan of the show”

Dean rolls his eyes as Sam, hand still on your arm, tries to convince you they are real and here to see you.

“Look, I know you think we’re actors from a show. We’ve been there before. But it really is us, Sam, Dean, and Cas. I know you know who we are.”

“Yeah, I know of Jensen, Jared, and Misha. I’m not going viral on the internet guys, good try though.” You look around trying to find the hidden camera.

“If you let me, I can prove it’s us,” Cas interjects.

Smirking, you tell him to go ahead. The smirk is quickly replaced by astonishment as Cas, or Misha to you, suddenly disappears, coming back seconds later. He holds out a small purple box and your face goes white.

“That’s not possible.”

He opens the familiar box, revealing a silver ring with two amethyst hearts. A graduation gift from your mom.

“This can’t be real!” You sit on the curb, head in your arms.

“It’s real, believe me.” Sam replies.

You look up at them, really look. These men don’t look like actors. They have a grittiness about them that feels very real.

Sam looks down at you with a small smile, hoping to calm you down. Dean refuses to look directly at you, you can see a hint of anger in the way he clenches his jaw. Cas looks like Cas, matter-of-fact and waiting patiently for you to process the news.

“Ok, fine, you’re real. Why are you here though, and why were you following me?” You decide to shelve your scepticism for now and see what happens.

“We need your help. But I had to make sure you were the right person, or rather the right version, of you.” Cas explains.

“The right version?” you ask. “There’s more of me out there?”

“Yes, several. But it was this particular version that we needed to find”

“Why? I’m sure there’s a version of me out there that’s solving world hunger or something.”

“Possibly there were more accomplished versions, but the instructions were clear, it was you in particular”

“Instructions? From who?”

“I don’t know. I just know that you need to come with us”

“Yeah right.” You laugh. “Even if I believe you’re real, which I’m not sure I do by the way, why would I come with you? I like being alive.”

“She’s right,” Dean says, speaking for the first time. “She’s safe where she is. We can’t pull her into our crap.”

Sam and Cas both turn to Dean. “No, we need her, she has a role to play, and we cannot pretend that isn’t true. Doing so leaves her at risk of being found by less friendly angels or even demons.” Cas argues.

You listen to their conversation, heart pounding. What was going on? What were you being pulled into?

“Ok, I need someone to explain what the hell is going on, immediately!” Your anger was getting the best of you. “You cannot just stand around and talk about me and what I have to do without talking to me.”

The three look a little startled but stop arguing amongst themselves.

Dean looks at you. “You’re right,” he says, “You have a right to know. But we can’t talk here." Turning to Cas, he says, "get us out of here.”

Cas holds out his arm, “Hold on to me”, he says.

The second your hand connects with his arm, you’re pulled away into nothing and reappear suddenly by a cheap and deserted motel on the edge of town. You follow the guys into a room.

Sam offers you a drink as you perch on the edge of a chair.

“Tell me” you say to the room at large.

Cas speaks first, “We, that is to say angels, had a sudden vision telling us to find you. I’m not sure where it came from or what it means, but I do know that every angel is now looking for you and not all of them are friendly.”

“A vision? What does that even mean?”

“It is unusual. Angels do not normally get visions like this”

“Which is why we feel it’s best if you come with us.” Sam adds, looking hesitantly at Dean.

At his glance, you too look towards Dean. He still looked angry.

“You don’t agree?” you ask him.

“No, I don’t. I don’t want to drag another person into our messy lives. It never ends well.”

The words are barely out of his mouth when the room begins to shake and an electric noise fills the room.

“Angels!” Cas shouts. “We don’t have much time. You have to come with us. Now.”

“What about my family?” you ask, realizing for the first time the true danger you are in.

“I’ll protect them, I promise.” Cas replies. “For now follow Sam and Dean.”

The other two were already working quickly on the spell to take you back to their world. As you follow them through the portal, you turn back to see windows shattering and a white light filling the room.

Suddenly you find yourself in another motel room. Glancing at the rain outside the window, it is clear you are no longer home. Sigils are painted on the walls, no doubt keeping you hidden from angels and demons alike. Your head pounds with pain as you struggle to take in the past half hour of your life. Nothing made sense and you just wanted to get some rest.

“Where are we?” you ask.

“Kansas,” Sam informs you, “not far from the bunker. Once Cas is back we can head over there.”

Dean paces the room as he waits, agitated and impatient. “Damn it, Cas! Where are you?” he exclaims.

As if summoned, Cas appears.

“I’ve checked the area. We’re safe to move.” He tells Dean.

“Wait. What about my family? You said you would keep them safe.” Worry settles in your chest as you think about them.

“I’ve hidden them from angels and demons. I’ve also modified their memories so they do not question why you are missing. They will not remember you.”

Cas’s words are far from reassuring. The growing knot in you chest tightens as the reality of what has happened sets in. You will never see them again. Life will never be simple again. You look up and catch Dean looking at you with concern, as if trying to read your thoughts.

“I’m sorry it had to be this way.” He says, green eyes not leaving yours. “If it were up to me, you’d never had met us.”

Despite everything, you can’t help but be reassured slightly at his words. You know that if anyone understood you in this moment it would be Dean Winchester.

“Let’s go.” Sam interjects. “We don’t have much time.”

You sit in the back of the Impala watching the rain hammer the windows, lost in thought. What feels like minutes later, you find the car has stopped. You see the door of the bunker. A few hours ago, a door you thought only existed in fiction.

Chapter Text

It had been a few weeks since you had settled into your new life. Days had gone by slowly being under house arrest at the bunker, and time was an abstract concept. You craved a routine, however, as you were reminded multiple times a week, there was no guarantee of safety outside.

The vision the angels had seen remained a mystery, and over time had become a mere curiosity, except when you suggested you could come along on a hunt. Dean in particular would not hear of it. Not that you hadn’t proven yourself useful.

Having little else to do you had spent your days reading and learning as much as possible from the expansive collections housed in the bunker. Doing research you were in your element, and overtime the Winchesters had come to rely on you to unearth spells, locate artefacts, and explain the lore for their various cases.

It was during one long night of research by lamplight you noticed Dean watching you instead of reading.

“You’re really into this, huh?” he asked.

“Into what? Research? Yeah I am. I could do this for the rest of my life. Though these days it feels like I will do this for the rest of my life.”

Dean laughs but gets serious, “I’m sorry to keep you stuck inside, but I couldn’t stand to see you get hurt. Not when you’re my responsibility.”

“Your responsibility? Why do you feel responsible for me Dean? I’m an adult.”

Dean averted his gaze. Something about his face piqued your interest. He knew more than he had told you.

“What?” you asked, a hint of unintended aggression in your tone. “What haven’t you told me?”

You stare at him as he tries but fails to come up with an excuse. Dean Winchester really did wear his emotions on his face. After a pause, Dean speaks, “This vision. It didn’t just include you. It also included me.”

“Included you how?”

“It wasn’t very clear, but it showed us both.”

“Why didn’t you tell me before?”

Dean pauses again. His eyes refusing to meet yours.

“Because I was afraid you wouldn’t trust me. Wouldn’t feel safe around me.”

You stare at the man across from you. You’ve never seen Dean look this vulnerable before.

“You really hate not being the hero, huh?” you ask him. You laugh as he looks at you, bemused, “Don’t worry I trust you. I will always trust you. You’re a good person, Dean.”

He smiles at you briefly before turning back to the large volume he had been perusing and you both continue to work together. Both acknowledging silently that something had changed between you.

Chapter Text

Ever since Dean had told you he too was part of Cas’s vision, you had taken to pacing your room, mulling over its meaning for hours and days since then, not sharing all with Dean. It was not lost on you that your old feelings for him seem to be taking a hold on you again.

Back in a different life, a different world, Dean had been your guilty pleasure. You had loved the show, but Dean was what kept you hooked. He had been no less than perfect in your eyes, and, in your opinion, no other fictional character came close. But it was more than that. You had found comfort in him because of how you saw yourself in him. Your complicated relationship with your family, your taste in food, your sense of humour, your role of protector and defender, all of these had linked you with Dean Winchester, and despite not being real, he felt like a part of you.

This was before you had met the real Dean Winchester. The shock of finding him standing before you had erased the feelings you had felt prior. They did not stay gone for long, however. Overtime, you had grown closer to the real Dean. A certain comradery had developed between the two of you, distinct from the relationship either of you had with Sam or Cas. Your old feelings for him had resurfaced, more real and complex than ever. But of course, you could not tell him this. Despite your good relationship, you could not imagine him caring for you in that way.

Dean mulled over the emotions running through him; it scared him to be feeling this way for someone. Caring for Sam as a little brother had been his job since childhood. It was natural and normal. His friendship with Cas was forged and cemented over the years where they had both fought and died for each other. But these particular feelings were new and sudden. At first Dean had brushed it aside. This was nothing new. He had been with a lot of women, and he had gotten over even more. But as time went on that nagging feeling became more and more entrenched in his mind. Ignoring it was not a solution, but acknowledging or expressing it was out of the question. Dean was not someone who could have a normal life, a relationship, start a family.

At first he chose to distance himself as much as possible. However, being cooped up for days at a time in a bunker with no more than two other people made it impossible to ignore her without being obvious about it. And Dean often found himself in her company. Truth be told, he had stopped trying very hard to stay away. There was a calming effect her presence had on him, something he had rarely felt elsewhere and thus, sought out often. It didn’t hurt that she often told the same dumb jokes that made Sam roll his eyes, or that she listened to the same music and watched the same embarrassing shows in secret. But there was more than that. It felt like she could read his mind and emotions and vice versa, and quite often they found themselves thinking in tandem. Either way, it was too dangerous to speak out loud. Besides, Dean did not want to make her life more difficult by making it awkward for her to be around him. To say nothing of the danger she would be in if anyone from his past, people and monsters alike, who he had harmed, found out that there was another person they could use to hurt him and get revenge. No, he would treat her like a friend, like Sam or Cas. She could not be something more.

Sam and Cas had picked up on this connection between them as well. It was obvious to Sam both were hiding feelings for each other. He would not intervene, as he knew Dean would deny it, but he hoped eventually they would sort it out between them. He just hoped his brother wouldn’t ruin his chance of happiness by being stubborn.

Cas had his own suspicions about what this might mean for them both. Perhaps this was the true purpose of the vision, a means through which the two would be brought together. He knew Dean would shut down this idea, so he did not bring it up. If he was right, their union would be inevitable.

Chapter Text

Many weeks had passed since you first met the Winchesters and come to live at the bunker. You had left it only a handful of times. Generally, you had felt, and been, pretty safe. Attention towards you was dying down according to Cas, and no catastrophic event had occurred with you in the center. You were still no closer to discovering the purpose of the vision, although Cas had mysteriously remarked that it may not be nefarious in nature. Of course he had refused to elaborate on what he meant or why he thought so.

Life with the Winchesters was never boring. Whether it was working on cases or just mulling about the bunker, the three of you had grown close. Although you felt closest to Dean, Sam and you had a lot in common.

“Look at you nerds.” Dean remarked, smirking at the pile of books you and Sam had in front of you. “You’re not even doing research!”

“Not everyone lacks an appreciation for books Dean.” Sam countered. “Some of us enjoy reading.”

“Yeah, like I said, nerds. Well, I’m glad you have someone to share your enthusiasm with anyhow. Makes up for me taking you away from law school, depriving the world of a lawyer.”

“Yeah, well I think saving the world is an acceptable alternative”

“Grad school was my alternative,” you laugh.

“Do you mean you wanted to go to law school too?” Sam asks, face alight with excitement.

“Yup. But then I fell in love with academia. Not sure how much I regret not going.”

“Wow! It has been so long since I talked about things as simple as school and careers. Never thought I’d feel like that Sam again.”

“And I never thought I’d be sitting in a different universe talking to fictional characters, but here we are.”

“You know it hurts to hear you invalidate our existence by calling us fictional characters?”

“Cry me a river, Sam.”

Grinning, Sam leans back and returns to his book. Dean watches from a distance. He had never felt jealous of Sam for his academic achievements before. But now, seeing the two of you bonding over something he had never had the chance to be a part of, he felt a stinging emotion that surprised him. He chose to ignore it. Instead he grabbed his jacket and walked towards the door.

“I’m grabbing burgers,” he called.

“Dude, we’ve had them three days in a row. I’ll have a salad.” Sam replied.

Dean looks at you.

“Don’t forget my fries.” You remind him.

Grinning, Dean leaves, happy to know that maybe you and him and plenty in common too.

You and Sam are still sifting through the manuscripts when Dean returns.

“Food's here!” He calls from the kitchen.

Suddenly you and Sam notice you’re both starving and jump up at the thought of food. In the kitchen, you grab plates and Sam grabs drinks, helping Dean set the table. That’s one thing you’ve come to appreciate about the Winchesters, they were surprisingly domestic. Dean in particular insisted meals be done properly whenever possible. Normally you would all pitch in to help but today he waves you off after lunch.

“You two get back to your book club, I got this.” He says, grabbing dishes and making his way to the sink. “But wash your hands before you go, they’re historic artefacts.”

You’re skimming a large volume on Djinn when Dean returns to the library.

“Thought you guys might be bored by now.”

“They’re handwritten illuminated manuscripts Dean. How can you not be interested? For example, this one -, “ But the rest of your sentence is cut off as Dean interjects.

“This one talks about various kinds of Djinn and their origins, I know. Hey I read ok? I just don’t get off on it like you two.”

“It’s more than the contents to me," you explain. "It’s the fact that someone sat down to write these words and paint pictures with gold, all by hand hundreds of years ago that’s fascinating. We can never meet, but somehow all those years later we’re connected because I’m holding this book.”

Dean looks at you intently.

“I’d never thought about it like that” He replies. “I get it now, sort of. Personally, I would like to feel connected via something cool like a sword or a dagger.”

He suddenly gets up looking excited.

“And we have several of both. Wanna come see my idea of a relic?”

“Definitely!” You exclaim, following Dean down the hall.

Sam stays seated, smiling at how happy his brother looks; happier than he’s seemed in a long time.

Chapter Text

You wake up one day with a heavy feeling in your head. Your eyes were beginning to burn and your throat felt itchy. You couldn’t believe you had caught a cold barely leaving home. You make your way to the kitchen where Sam and Dean were already seated drinking coffee. “You look terrible.” Dean observes as you walk in.

“Thank you. It’s the cold I caught. I think it really suits me.” You reply sarcastically.

“How’d you catch a cold?”

“Not sure, but I guess the Men of Letters didn’t ward this place against microscopic germs.”

Sam laughs before suggesting you stay in bed to rest, “If Cas was here you’d be better in no time, but he’s off on his own again so perhaps you should get some rest until he gets here.”

“Good idea. I’ll just grab some breakfast and eat in my room.”

Dean stands up, “No, no. Just tell me what you want, I’ll bring it to you. Go rest.”

You smile at him, exhaustion already taking a hold of you, “Thank you. I’ll just have some toast and tea.”

You had only been in bed a few minutes when you hear a knock on the door. “Come in!” you call.

Dean walks in carrying a tray. “I brought you some spreads for the toast,” he explains. “I didn’t know if you wanted anything on it. I’ve also brought you some meds and a little something extra if you need it.”
He places the tray laden with food and pills and a small flask on a table by your bed.

“You are amazing!” you tell him.

“It’s nothing. Sam got sick regularly as a kid so I’m a pro.” He walks over to the dresser and grabs the remote. “Now what are we watching?”

“We? You don’t have to stay, I wouldn’t want you to get sick too. I’ll be fine, don’t worry.”

“No, I insist. Besides, I never get sick.” Dean scoffs.

“Suit yourself then.” You reply, settling into bed with your breakfast as Dean browses for a movie.

You’re three movies into your binge watch when Sam appears in the doorway. Dean, who was intently watching the “chick flick” he had insisted would be boring, did not immediately register his presence. “How are you feeling?” He asks, smirking at Dean who jumps a little at hearing Sam’s voice and quickly pauses the TV. “Sorry I wasn’t in to see you earlier, I went on a supply run. Looks like you’ve been having a good time though. How did you know Dean loves a good rom-com?”

You laugh as Dean tells him to shut up. “I’m pretty good. Dean has been providing excellent care.”

“Well, I guess all those hours of Dr. Sexy came in handy after all.” Sam replies. Dean once again advises him to shut up.

As evening falls, you find your energy drain away and you sink lower into your pillows. This does not go unnoticed by Dean who had just come in, holding a steaming bowl. “I’m not gonna lie it’s from a can, but I think it’s still –,” just what he thought you never heard as his voice trails off at the sight of your worsening condition. He comes and sits by your bed, concern etched on his face. His hand finds your forehead. “You’re burning up.” He murmurs.

“I’m fine,” you insist, a wave of pain washing over you. Unconvinced by this feeble protest, Dean walks to the bathroom, returning with a cold compress which he gently places across your forehead. You close your eyes and lose track of time as Dean diligently works to keep your temperature down.

You’re unsure how long has passed when you finally feel some strength return. You make out a blurred outline of Dean, asleep on a chair as your eyes blink open. Dean wakes up as you stir. He lays a gentle hand on your forehead and sighs quietly in relief as he feels you starting to improve. His eyes look down at your face and you cannot help but notice the way he strokes your hair as he moves his hand away. “You scared me.” He tells you in a quiet voice.

“Don’t worry about me,” you assure him, smiling, “I’m always fine.” Up close you notice he doesn’t look too well. “Dean, you idiot, you’re sick!” You exclaim. “I told you to stay away.”

“I’m fine!” He protests, a small, badly repressed cough giving him away.

“Yeah right. Did you even sleep last night?”

“I caught an hour in the chair, I’m great.”

“You’re crazy.” You tell him. “Well, if you insist on staying you might as well lay down. I can take the chair.”

“Why bother? The bed looks big enough for the both of us. Unless you’re not comfortable…” He hesitates.

“Fine by me.”

Dean lands next to you in bed and stretches out luxuriously.

“Not tired, huh?” you ask.

He smiles as he slowly falls straight asleep. You stay up next to him, watching his sleeping form next to you, more comfortable and cared for than you had felt in years. A familiar, fluttering feeling develops in your chest. A feeling of sadness creeps in too as you think about the man next to you who would do anything to help those he loves but not be able to accept that he deserves the same love in return; who thought his mere presence would be fatal to you when you met. As he lays next to you, you hope that one day you can show him how much he means to everyone but especially you. For now, it is enough to know he is sleeping peacefully right here.

You’re both awakened by Sam as he drops by your room. “Don’t tell me you’re both sick! Where’s Cas when you need him?”

“Guess you better watch some Dr. Sexy reruns.” Dean replies sleepily, eyes still closed.

Chapter Text

The room smelled of damp and rot, the floor wet from leaking pipes. Small windows near the top of the ceiling, dirty and grimy, gave way to slivers of moonlight. Eyes wide open, you make your way silently from room to room, afraid a single breath might give away your position. With your gun empty, you couldn’t risk being caught but had to find her.

Becoming tired of being stuck in safety, you had insisted that you be allowed to join Sam and Dean when they went hunting. Dean had been stubbornly opposed but Sam had stuck up for you. Still, it hadn’t been easy. Hours of target practice and hunting lessons had followed. When you were finally able to pass Dean’s stringent tests and gain his approval, you had joined them on a hunt for a suspected werewolf pack.

This group of werewolves were particularly abhorrent. They targeted whole families and saved the children for last. You and the boys had chased them to an abandoned building and Sam and Dean had gone in pursuit of the werewolves, while you had caught a glimpse of others inside and gone to find potential victims. One of the wolves had pursued you as you split up, but thankfully you had managed to shoot her right in the chest. However, it had cost you all your bullets. While target practice in the bunker was one thing, shooting while running for your life was another completely and you had gained a new appreciation for how skilled the Winchesters were at their job.

Entering the building, you could smell the keen smell of fresh blood before you found them. A man and a woman lay in the corner, holes in their chest where their hearts should have been. A wave of nausea took hold of you, and as you attempted to regain your composure, you heard it: a quiet sobbing from a room further inside. Given this pack’s methods and a distinct lack of dead children, you knew this must be the couple’s child. With a lingering glance at their mutilated corpses, you moved on to try and save at least one of them.

You follow the small cries until you reach a doorway, the door ajar. Pushing it slowly open, you see a limp figure hung up in the middle of the room. The girl’s long dark hair covers her face and she doesn’t immediately register that you have entered the room, but visibly flinches as you draw closer.

“Hey,” you whisper, “I’m here to help.” You pick the lock on the cuffs chaining her to the ceiling and hold her up as she regains feeling in her arms.

“My parents…” she whimpers, still struggling to stand up.

“I’m so sorry.” You tell her slowly, “They didn’t make it. But I’m not going to let anything happen to you. I promise. What’s your name.”

“Sarah.” She tells you, looking up at you at last. Her face is streaked with blood and tears and cut in several places. She couldn’t be older than 15. You feel a stab of pain upon seeing her condition, but you gather your strength, put her arm over your shoulders and help her walk back to the Impala. The two of you make your way out of the house, towards the small side street where you knew the car was parked. An uneasy feeling takes hold of you: it had been too easy to escape the house. You can’t hear any sounds of struggle and you wonder where Sam and Dean are. You know they are experienced and strong and will be ok, but the thought doesn’t full calm you either. If they were ok, why were they not looking for you, it wasn’t like them at all.

You know the danger hasn’t passed for you or for the girl you are carrying, and it isn’t until you see the car that you allow yourself to relax briefly. It was almost over.

Just as you reach for the door, you’re thrown into the air and against the alley wall, crumpling in pain as you hit the ground. The air is knocked from your lungs and for a few crucial seconds all you can do is struggle to breathe. With a gasping breath you feel the oxygen return to your brain and you attempt to stand.

A shrill scream makes you immediately forget your own pain. “No!” you shout, running towards the man bent over Sarah. You had nothing to hurt him with but it didn’t matter, you had to pull him off the girl. The man throws you back again almost immediately when you reach him. “No.” you repeat feebly, tears blurring your eyes.

As the night seems to turn deafening and dark around you, you see a flash of a gun and the werewolf slumps over, dead. Sarah’s eyes stare open, reflecting streetlights above. Even from here you could tell it was too late. You make no attempt to help up as Dean rushes towards you and lifts you up. You’d rather stay here on the ground.

“Come on!” he insists, “We can’t stay here.” His hold on you is firm but gentle as he guides you back to the car. You allow him to take you but refuse to get in.

“I can’t leave her,” you tell him.

He looks back at the small figure. “Ok,” he agrees, and motions for Sam to help him. They use a tarp from the trunk to wrap her body and place it in the car. Quiet tears stream down your face as the three of you drive back in silence. Dean turns often to look at you as he drives. You refuse to look anywhere but straight ahead, pretending the tears stinging in your eyes don't exist.

When you reach the bunker the three of you salt and burn Sarah’s body. Sam and Dean both attempt in vain to speak to you, pull you out of the silence that has taken its hold on you. When her body is ash and the fire is burnt out, the three of you go inside to sit silently around a table. Sam and Dean exchange worried glances, concerned at your lack of emotion. When Cas offers to heal your bruises you speak for the first time. “No.” You tell him. “I’d like to feel these bruises a little longer.” He purses his lips and nods.

For hours you play the last few minutes of Sarah’s life in your head. Over and over, feeling incredibly useless. When the feeling becomes too much to sit with, you get up and walk to the exit. Dean catches you at the door and attempts to stop you from leaving. The look on your face changes his mind. He follows you out instead.

The two of you walk into a nearby town. You notice Dean stealing worried glances at you but ignore him. You were not ready to talk. You're grateful he doesn’t insist on speaking. The two of you find a bar and Dean orders drinks. As the empty glasses pile up around you, you fiddle with the amethyst hearts on your finger. Without looking up you quietly speak. “Her name was Sarah. She was my sister’s age.” The admission frees something in you and tears flow freely from your eyes.

Dean puts his arm around you and draws you close. Your head rests on his chest and immediately soaks his t-shirt with tears. “It’s not your fault,” he tells you. Your body convulses in his arms as you attempt to stem your tears.

“I promised I would save her.” Your voice barely comes out. “I couldn’t save her. I can’t protect my sister. They were both my responsibilities but I abandoned one and let the other die.” You pull away. You did not deserve to be comforted.

“You risked your life to help Sarah, you’re not responsible for her death, that wolf was. It’s your first hunt, I know how it feels to not be able to save someone. The amount of deaths I’m directly responsible for will keep me up at night for life, so believe me, I get it. But you helped take down the pack. There won’t be any more Sarahs thanks to you. That’s why we do this.” He takes you hand in his, thumb caressing the ring on your finger. “As for your family, what you did for them was incredibly selfless. Hell, Sammy and I both couldn’t do it. You gave up your entire life to protect them and they will be ok because of it. And you still have family, you have us. You, me, Sam and Cas. We’re all we have.” His green eyes find yours and you see the sincerity of his words reflected in them.

You nod, unable to speak again, but letting Dean’s words wash over you. Part of you knew he was right, but another found comfort in finally feeling the pain you had buried deep inside from the moment you had teleported into the motel room in Kansas. The former eventually wins out as the grief drains a little from your chest, replaced by exhaustion.

Dean doesn’t miss this change in you and looks at the angry purple bruising on your arm. “Please, let’s go home,” he says, placing folded bills on your table and getting up. You follow him out the bar. It was a dark night and the weather had turned chilly. You’re tired and hurting, in every sense, but as Dean puts his arm around your waist, allowing you to lean on him as you walked home, you also know that you would be alright.

Chapter Text

The four of you sat in the new living room in the bunker. You had gotten tired of sitting on tables and insisted a proper sitting room would make the bunker feel more like home, and you had been right. Looking around the room, it really felt like being with family.

You sat on an armchair, legs hanging over one arm as your head rested on the other. Dean had taken over the sofa, having forced Sam to move so he could lay down. Sam sat across from you on a loveseat, laptop open. Cas sat to your right by a fire that was casting an orange glow on the room and its inhabitants.

You see a smirk appear on Dean’s face as he turns to you to say, “Hey, I have a question.”

“Good for you.” You tell him. You knew him well enough now to tell by his expression that this wasn’t likely something you wanted to answer.

“You used to watch our show, right?” he continues, confirming your instincts. “I had kind of forgotten since, you know, you’re pretty normal.”

Sam puts his laptop down, watching the conversation with a grin

“Pretty normal?” you ask, mildly incensed. “What does that even mean? Do you think people who watched the show are insane or something?”

“No, of course not.” Dean backtracks. “I just meant that you don’t seem to be obsessed with us like some other fans we’ve met.” He looks darkly at Sam.

“You think I would drug and marry one of you? Don’t flatter yourselves,” you laugh. Dean chuckles as Sam looks away, slightly embarrassed. “Not everyone is Becky, in case you didn’t notice.”

“That was on the show, huh?” Sam asks sheepishly.

“It was,” you tell him, “but I don’t know why you’re embarrassed about that. You were a victim.”

Dean snickers some more.

“Ok, but did you have a favourite?” Sam asks, changing the subject.

Dean tilts his head back to look at you in great interest. “Yeah, were you a Sam girl or Dean girl?”

“You sure have a high opinion of yourself.” You tell him. But Dean dodges your attempt to change the subject.

“No but really, who did you like more, me or Sam?” The earnest nature of his question takes you by surprise and you hesitate for a second before grinning at him and standing up.

As you walk out of the room, your back to the others, you call out, “I was a Cas girl!” Smile fading as you walk further away. You’re unsure why the question bothered you so much. Perhaps because it was the very person you had felt such strong feelings for asking it. But that was another life, another time; you have convinced yourself that you couldn’t allow yourself to feel those feelings anymore. But it was getting increasingly impossible. You had loved Dean when he was a fictional character to you. At that time your affection for him was incredibly safe to feel. A one-sided relationship that was not marred by the complexities of a second mind. Your situation was even more complicated than that. You knew things about Dean from watching his life, knew him in a way that he didn’t know you. And it didn’t help that their previous experiences with people like Becky no doubt made them weary of fans of their story. You could not let Dean feel uncomfortable around you.

Besides, how would you have explained what you felt for him? That it was more than just a crush. You liked him but not just because he was attractive, but because of how much you related to him. You had often said you weren’t sure if you had a crush on Dean or if you felt like you were him. His roll as older sibling and parent, his complicated relationship with his father, his humour, his sarcasm, his issues with self esteem and self doubt, all of these were as present in you. Almost everything he said or did, you knew you would make the same choices. But how could you explain that to him? You take a deep breath and hold it. As you slowly release, you confirm your original decision. Dean would never know.

You’re broken from your reverie by someone standing behind you. You jump slightly but realize it’s Cas.

“Hey,” you begin, “sorry about earlier, I wasn’t coming onto you or anything, I was just jo-“The rest of your sentence is cut off as Cas interjects.

“Lying.” He says, “you were lying.” It’s a statement.

“Personally, I would say joking but I guess lying. Sorry, I hope it didn’t make you feel weird or bad.” You look at him a little confused. It wasn’t really like Cas to be so confrontational like this.

“I know how you feel about Dean,” he continues, “you like him.”

“Yeah, well, he’s a cool guy. I’m sure most people like him.”

“Not like you do.”

“Enough! What are you? Cupid?” You didn’t mean to sound harsh, but the conversation was treading on dangerous territory. “Listen, Cas, I’m sorry. But I can’t have this conversation.” You take a deep breath, “you might even be right, but it feels wrong to acknowledge it, let alone act on it.”

“Well, I think it’s the best thing for both of you.” You’re taken aback by how firm he sounds, but before you can reply, Cas walks off leaving you alone with your thoughts.

Chapter Text

“I’ve got a case nearby.” Sam says, placing a newspaper down on the table where you and Dean sat. You look up from your computer, putting your movie on pause. Across from you Dean does the same and turns his attention to the article. A teenage girl was found dead in a locked room, no sign of forced entry.

“Sounds like a possible haunting. We should check it out.” Dean says. “See you guys in ten.” It had been a while since the last case, and he was ready to check out any leads.

“Is he always this eager?” You ask Sam.

Sam laughs. “Yeah when it’s been a while since a good case. He isn’t one to take it easy.”

“Clearly. Guess we better get it together before he’s honking for us outside.”

As you approach the town where the killing took place, you ask Sam for more information on the case. “What do we know about the victim?”

“Not much. Melanie Hart was 17, in high school. The obit makes her out to be a fairly typical teen."

“Trust me, no such thing as a typical teen,” you advise him sagely. “I’m a professional, remember?”

“Then it’s time to find out what was going on with Melanie.” Dean says, pulling up to her house. “You and I can go talk to her family. Sam you can go speak with her friend, Hannah. She was mentioned in the obit.”

“Sure. No problem at all.” Sam says, smiling in a knowing way.

“What?” Dean asks him.

Noticing his testy tone, Sam backtracks. “Nothing. I’ll go talk to Hannah. You two have fun.” He quickly gets in the driver’s seat and drives off before Dean can do more than look annoyed.

“What’s up with you two?” You ask, not failing to notice the weird vibes.

“Nothing.” Dean shakes his head, “he just thinks he’s funny.” He turns to you, “Now, are you ready? It’s your first case as FBI. Remember to have confidence.”

“Don’t worry about me, I’m an excellent liar.” You flash him a grin as you take the lead. A small red-haired woman answers your knock, clearly having spent a lot of time recently crying. “Mrs. Hart, I’m agent Cavil and this is my partner, agent Harris,” you and Dean flash her your badges. “We wanted to ask a few questions about your daughter. Would you be able to give us a few moments of your time?” Mrs. Hart nods silently and you follow her in.

“Well done!” Dean whispers to you, impressed, as you make your way to the small, but neat, sitting room. As the two of you take the chairs across the sofa, he begins asking questions. “Mrs. Hart, is there anything you can tell us about Melanie that may have seemed odd to you in the past couple of days? Anything at all.”

“No not really,” she begins, voice barely above a whisper, but then hesitates, “actually, I didn’t think much of it then, but she had seemed a little disturbed last week.”

“Disturbed? How?” Dean asks, leaning in closer to hear.

“Mel was… evasive. It felt like she was hiding something. I didn’t think anything of it because children do that. Oh God, you don’t think it has something to do with her…” At this point the woman lost the ability to even whisper her words, lapsing into silent tears.

"I’m really sorry for your loss, Mrs. Hart. I know this must be hard for you. We just have a few more questions when you feel up to it.” You assure her.

Mrs. Hart nods and takes deep breaths to regain composure. When she seems steady, Dean continues, “What can you tell us about Melanie’s friends and activities?”

“Not much. Mel wasn’t exactly popular, but she did have some close friends. Hannah and her were particularly close. She did ok in school. Though English was her best subject.” Mrs. Hart smiles softly at the memories of her daughter.

Sensing that there wasn’t much left to gain from the conversation Dean stands. “Thank you, Mrs. Hart. We’ll be out of your hair soon, but first would it be ok if we had a look around in Melanie’s room?”

“Yes, of course. But I’m afraid I can’t go in there. I haven’t been able to since…” She shakes her head, as if attempting to shake of the memories of her daughter’s death. “Anyway, it’s the first door on the right.”

“Thank you.” You tell her as you follow Dean upstairs.

Upstairs in Melanie’s room Dean pulls out the EMF which immediately goes off. As Dean scans the room, you look around at the books and pictures littering the room. There was Melanie, a red head like her mom but more vividly red with long curly hair. Even in the photographs, Melanie had a strong presence A girl with long brown hair was often standing closely next to her. If Melanie was hard to miss, she was hard to notice. No doubt that was Hannah. You turn your attention to the books next. A lot of gothic romantic works. “Looks like she was interested in the supernatural.” You tell Dean, pointing out the books.

“Interesting. The room has EMF all over the place. It looks like a haunting. Let’s see what Sam found out from the friend.”

After assuring Melanie’s mother you would do your best to investigate, the two of you make your way to a nearby motel, a few blocks from the house.

“By the way,” Dean asks, “You were really good back there. Not a lot of people can just jump right into it like a natural.”

“Because I wasn’t just jumping into it.” You laugh. “I did my fair share of lying and faking to get out of trouble during my misspent youth.”

Dean turns to you with scepticism all over his face. “Misspent youth?” He asks.

“Trust me,” you tell him, “there’s a lot about me you still don’t know. Though, in my defense, I was always looking out for me or my friends.”.

“Wow, here I thought you were squeaky clean kid just like Sam.”

“Well, I didn’t have an older brother looking after me. I took care of myself”

“That I respect.”

You and Dean sat at the motel table doing a preliminary search on any violent or unexplained deaths in the area when Sam came in carrying bags. “Oh thank God, some food.” Dean shuts his laptop and turns his full attention to the brown bag Sam places in front of him. “What did you find out from Hannah?”

“Well, she and Melanie were close. Like very close.”

“You mean they were dating?” You ask.

“Yeah. Though it took her a while to tell me this. It seems no one else knew.”

“Poor kid. Must be hard for her right now.” Dean says between mouthfuls.

“Yeah, she was pretty upset. She felt responsible.”

“Responsible? How?” you ask.

“Well, apparently her and Melanie used to go into the woods a lot and last week they went off the path and came across a small cabin with a shallow grave out front.”

“Let me guess, they dug it up?” Dean asked, rolling his eyes.

“Yup.”

“God damn. Why do people think that’s a good idea? Any idea who was buried there?”

“Not yet. I stopped by the county records office to find any missing persons reports.” He indicates the small pile of folders he had placed on the bed. “But I’m not sure if any of them are our ghost.”

“We also need to check out the grave and burn the body.” You point out.

“Good point. It might not even matter who the person was. We have the bones, let’s burn ‘em. Sam you and I can head out and do that.” Dean puts down the rest of his food and gets ready to leave.

“Why not me?” You ask, slightly offended at being left behind.

Dean doesn’t look your way. “It’s getting dark,” he tells you.

“It’s getting dark?” You ask, incredulous.

“Listen, I gave Hannah my number in case something happens.” Sam begins, trying to diffuse the tension. “I have a feeling the ghost is not done yet. Why don’t I stay here and you two go and burn the bones. It’s really not that dark,” he adds, addressing Dean.

Dean backtracks at your reaction and takes Sam’s out. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. Alright looks like it’s you and me again.” He smiles at you, hoping to be forgiven.

“I guess so,” you tell him, still annoyed that he couldn’t stop treating you differently. You hated being underestimated or coddled.

In the car, Dean can sense the anger still radiating off you. He curses himself inwardly for the way he acted. In truth, he was scared how protective he felt. Other than Sam, he had never felt so responsible for someone before. They were feelings he refused to acknowledge, but he knew he wasn’t being fair to you. “Listen, about earlier. I’m sorry. I didn’t want to make you feel like I don’t trust you or think you can’t handle yourself. I just get nervous at the thought of you in danger, and I… uh...” He pauses and takes a breath before continuing on, “I just couldn’t stand to see you get hurt. So I guess maybe I’m just trying to protect myself, really. It’s a little selfish.”

You’re a little taken aback by this confession. Feeling a little guilty for being so upset you turn to look at Dean. Dean refuses to meet your gaze, eyes set straight ahead on the road. “I’m sorry too,” you tell him, “I hate not being the one to lead everything and I guess I have a short temper about it.”

Dean laughs, “Yeah well I’m not going to judge you for that, I’m not a hypocrite.”

You smile at this, but then get serious. “I’m also not used to having someone lookout for me like this, so I don’t quite know what to feel about it. I do know it’s not something I can easily get used to.”

Dean finally turns towards you. “I promise I won’t try and make you feel this way again. But I can’t promise to stop wanting to look out for you. You’re in it for life now that you’re family.”

You smile at Dean but don’t say anything. He saw you as family but what did that mean? With your luck, he probably sees you as a little sister. You slump back in your seat. Not quite the feelings you dreamt Dean would have for you.

The two of you follow the rough directions given by Hannah on the location of the body. It’s dusk by the time you see the dilapidated cabin. From a distance you can just make out a few piles of dirt and a small hole. As you draw closer, you realize one of the piles of dirt are actually bones.

“Gross.” You say, face scrunched in disgust. “Can’t believe they willingly dug her up.”

“Makes our job easier though.” Dean adds, handing you the bottle of kerosene as he spreads salt over the bones.

Following his lead, you generously sprinkle the remains with the liquid and stand back as Dean lights the bones on fire. “Congrats on your first corpse burning.”

“Let’s just hope it worked.” As you say this, Dean's phone rings.

“Hey Sam.” He puts the phone on speaker.

“Did you burn the bones?” He asks. The urgency in his voice makes your blood run cold.

“Yeah, we did.” Dean tells him.

“Well, it didn’t work. I’m with Hannah now…” His voice starts to crack, making it difficult to hear.

Your heart races as you force yourself to think. The girls dug up the corpse and just left it? It was an odd thing to do, most kids didn’t play with remains. You close your eyes to concentrate.

“Sammy, are you ok?” Dean practically yells into the phone.

A few more seconds of electric crackle pass before you hear Sam again. “Yeah, we’re ok. But she’s not gone. There must be something else.”

A sudden suspicion takes hold of you. “Did they take something from the grave? Ask her,” you tell Sam.

“Hannah?” You can hear the muffled sounds of Sam talking to the girl. “Where are they?”

You and Dean look at each other, helpless as Sam burns whatever it is the girls took from the body.

A few minutes later Sam speaks to you again. “Earrings. They took her earrings.”

You breathe a sigh of relief, unaware that you had been holding your breath.

“Is it over now?” Dean asks.

“Yeah, I think so. She disappeared.” Sam replies.

“Ok good. We’ll meet you back at the motel…” Dean barely finishes his sentence before the phone line crackles again. “I thought you said she was gone!” He tells Sam.

“She is.” He tells him.

Seconds later a wave of cold washes over you, making your body shiver involuntarily.

“Well apparently not.” Dean says, more to himself than anyone else. “Quick, look around. We must have missed something.” This time talking to you.

You do not need telling and are already scouring the ground by flashlight for any bones or possessions you may have missed. Dark had crept on you without warning, making it difficult to see. You see your breath and feel the temperature drop before you see her, a decrepit figure of an old woman. Skin and bones but with a thick head of long hair. Heavy, old, tarnished silver earrings glitter at her ears. She heads towards you, but Dean pulls you behind him, hitting her with an iron crowbar. She reappears, this time to your right. She stretches out her hand and you notice it, a silver ring similar to the earrings. You crouch down and look around wildly for the ring. It had to be here. That’s why she was here. Dean holds her at bay as you search, at this point blindly feeling through the soil and leaves in desperation.

Your heart nearly stops as you hear Dean drop his weapon. The ghostly figure is now right in front of him, hand reaching for his throat. Tears burn your eyes in panic as you lunge for the iron bar he dropped. Before you can reach it, out of the corner of your eye, you see a silver object briefly reflect in the fire from the burning the bones. You change course, running towards the spot where you saw it. As Dean struggles to breathe somewhere behind you, you throw the heavy old ring into the fire. The figure choking Dean immediately bursts into flames, and with a scream is gone.

Dean falls to the ground. You run to him and cradle his head as his lungs expand to send oxygen back through his body. Tears cloud your vision, pooling up more freely as the adrenaline subsides. “Dean…” you call, voice weak.

As his eyes slowly open and find yours, he reaches out and cradles your face in his hands. “I’m ok.” He tells you.

As the moment of panic gives way to relief, you pull him closer, and before you can stop yourself, before you have any inkling of what you’re about to do: you kiss him.

Soon your mind catches up with your body and you quickly pull back. A sinking feeling curls up in your chest and falls like a rock in your stomach. You turn from Dean and begin mumbling an apology.

But Dean doesn’t pay attention. Instead, he wordlessly pulls you back towards him, brushing your hair out of the way as he kisses you back. His hand rests at your lower back as he holds you close to him. Yours find his face and hair as your lips convey the feelings both of you had been holding back for so long. After several blissful moments the two of you break apart. Wordlessly, you both gather your things walk back to the Impala, not needing words to communicate the significance of the moment to each other.

Shortly after you arrive back to the car, Sam pulls up in a hurry. “Oh, thank God you’re ok. I tried calling. Why didn’t you answer?” he demands.

Dean glances at you for a split second before making an excuse about a dropped phone. You were glad he didn’t tell Sam what had just passed between you. The world was still an upside-down mess as far as you were concerned. Dean Winchester had feelings for you. Your mind and heart were still trying to process. But when Dean told Sam you earned the front seat, having saved his life, you knew he was thinking of you as much as you were of him.

Chapter Text

The drive back to the bunker feels incredibly short. Not much was said by either you or Dean, and you hoped Sam would assume it was exhaustion that made you so quiet. Back at home, the three of you decide that a shower and sleep was preferable to food or conversation.

As you wash away evidence of the day from your body, the hot water relaxing you, your mind could only focus on Dean. More specifically, the way his lips felt on yours, his hand at your back, your hand in his hair… The recollection made you shiver even in the warmth of the shower. Your brain and heart were buzzing with excitement even as you dried off and changed into pyjamas. Normally a healthy pessimist, no negative thought could enter your mind tonight.

As you sit in bed, you do not turn off your lights or even try to sleep. You knew it wouldn’t work, but you also knew that he would come see you. Sure enough, a few minutes later, you hear a soft knock at your door. Dean wordlessly enters the room as you let him in. He walks a few paces before turning to look at you.

“About tonight…” He begins.

Your heart sinks a little for the first time since the kiss as reality sets in once again. You fight back tears as you wait for Dean to tell you a list of reasons why it was all a mistake and you should stay away from each other. You close your eyes and turn away so he can’t read the disappointment on your face.

“…every instinct I have is telling me it’s a mistake, that hunters just don’t get normal things like a relationship. But I also know I can’t pretend tonight didn’t happen. I don’t even wish I could undo it.”

As you turn to look at him, you laugh although it sounds more like a sob. The tears do fall now, out of relief. At least he didn't regret it. You notice Dean looks as scared as you felt, eyes downcast and nervous. You walk up to him and put your arms around him.

“You’re crying.” He whispers, wiping the tears from your face.

“Never mind that. I want to know why you think I don’t deserve a normal relationship.

“Of course you do. I was talking about me.”

“No.” You correct him. “You were talking about hunters. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but I’m sort of in this life now. I even saved the day today. But I don’t think it means I don’t deserve to be happy.”

“It’s different with you. You lived a different life and you should get the chance to live it again. I don’t want this for you, you don’t deserve to be stuck in this.”

“Neither did you. Being raised in it, I think you deserve a normal life more than anyone. Please don’t think you don’t deserve happiness. I really, really want you to be happy, Dean.”

Dean pulls you close and kisses you softly. He rests is forehead against yours, eyes closed. A thousand thoughts racing through his mind, telling him what he’s about to do is a mistake. He had been here before with others. He thinks of Lisa and Ben and Cassie. But your words cut through his thoughts like a knife. You were in this life, in his life, in a way no other woman he had met before was. Perhaps this time things could be different. “Okay.” He concedes, pulling you closer and holding you tight. “Maybe you’re right.” He pulls back to look at you. “This way I don’t have to move out to get over you. You’re sure you didn’t use a love potion?” A teasing grin spreading on his face.

“Dean, I’m going to actually kill you.” You tell him as he laughs at his own joke.

The two of you spent most of the night together talking and basking in the comfort of each other’s company, a night that felt both endless and short. You couldn't help but think that less than a day ago, you had thought this would be impossible.

As morning dawned, so did the need for practical considerations. You would have to tell Sam about this new development, for one. And Cas.

“I think Sam was predicting this.” Dean groans. “He’s going to be a smug pain in the ass when he finds out.”

“Cas too.” You add. “He’s been calling me out for a while. Though I don’t think he’ll be smug about being right.”

“No, he won’t, but it’ll still be annoying. God, why do I feel like a kid telling his family he has a girlfriend?”

“Doesn’t seem like you’re very experienced at this.” You laugh.

“I guess I’m not.”

“Let’s tell them at breakfast. Pull of the bandage.”

“Good idea.”

Dean gets off your bed and walks over to where you stand getting dressed by the mirror. His tall figure eclipses yours as he holds you from behind, lips finding your neck, marking his love with small kisses. You can’t help but close your eyes as his mouth finds his way lower down your body. You turn to face him, arms around his neck. Your body tingles from head to toe and his touch feels electric. A soft moan escapes your lips before you can help it. Dean grins but pulls back. Your body pulls him back in protest but he insists and frees himself.

“Not yet. Not like this.” He tells you, answering the question etched in your expression. “Let’s go out tonight. Let me do this properly.”

“Are you asking me on a date, Dean?”

“Yeah I am. Tonight. At six?”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Great, I’ll pick you up. Now, let’s go get this over with.”

The two of you are in the kitchen before Sam. You and Dean both sit there with bowls of cereal in front of you. Neither of you had much of an appetite this morning. You sit leaning against the wall and Dean sits close on your right, one arm around you, your leg resting on his. It’s in this intertwined position Sam finds you in when he arrives. Arching an eyebrow, he doesn’t immediately comment.

“Morning” He tells you both.

“Hey Sam.” You say. Dean stays suspiciously silent.

As he fixes his breakfast, he begins to prod for answers. “You’re both up early. Not like yourselves. Must have been a good night.”

“Yes, very relaxing.” You tell him.

“I’ll bet.” He smirks. “You don’t look very rested though. And Dean, you’re barely eating.”

“Just not hungry I guess.” He tells Sam.

“I see. Do you wanna sit on my lap next?” He asks Dean as he sits down.

“Cut the crap.” Dean advises him.

“I’m not the one with something to share.” He quips back.

“Fine. Yes, we’re together now. No, we’re not taking questions.”

Sam laughs out loud. “Finally. It was so annoying seeing you pretend nothing was up. Plus I was right.”

“What did I tell you?” Dean says turning to you. You laugh at Dean’s genuine awkwardness, making him crack up too.

It wasn’t until lunch that Cas arrived back at the bunker. Before you can even tell him, he seems to guess the new development. His reaction is slightly different to Sam’s. Before either of you could really explain, Cas catches on. He proceeds to hug both you and Dean in turn and his sincere congratulations make Dean blush. “I don’t see why everyone is making such a big deal.” He mumbles, face still slightly red.

“It’s because we were worried you wouldn’t get this far.” Cas advises him. “You both were in a lot of denial.”

At this, even you feel the severity of his scrutiny. “Don’t make it weird.” You tell Cas.

“Sorry. I’ll try to be less happy for you.” He tells you, genuinely trying to repress his feelings.

“Never change, Cas.” Dean tells him, chuckling as he pats his shoulder. “Well I have to go do stuff,” he announces, “I’ll see you guys later.”

“Wait!” You call after him. “Are you taking the car? I was gonna ask to borrow it.”

“You wanna borrow Baby?”

“Yes. If you can find it in you to share.”

“Well fine. But I need her too. Maybe I could take you?”

“Nope. Some things are best done alone.”

Chapter Text

“Where are you off to?” Sam asks as you walk towards the door, keys in hand.

“Not far. Just into town.”

“Everything ok?”

“Yeah everything is great!” You assure him.

Everything was not fine. You needed a dress and some nice shoes and you only had four hours left to find it all. You prayed Lebanon had some decent stores.

It was a nice day out and you were looking forward to the drive. It had been ages since you had driven alone. As you get into the driver’s seat of the Impala and turn the key, you take a moment to appreciate Dean’s car. It really was an impressive vehicle. But as much as you liked the Impala, you needed your own car. You made a mental note to talk to Sam and Dean about getting one as you pull out to the road.

A short drive later you’re parked in front of a boutique promising the latest in women’s fashions. A bell above the door rings out in greeting as you enter the dark and dusty store. An older woman, slightly sullen, greets you and offers her assistance.

“I’m looking for a dress.” You tell her, “Something for a date.” You scan the rows of dresses as you speak, hoping something would jump out at you.

“Any particular style or colour?” She asks.

“Not really.” Dean hadn’t told you where you were going so you weren’t sure what to expect. He did say to dress nice. “Something a little formal?” You suggest.

“Well we have some nice ones here.” She leads you to a row of glittering dresses, rhinestones spangled across in various patterns. It was giving prom.

“Erm, what about something less …sparkly?” You suggest.

You’re led to a different rack, one with a more random assortment of dresses. “Let me know if anything suits from here.” The store attendant tells you as she walks back to the register.

As you begin to shift through the dresses, you hope you haven’t pissed her off. But you needed this to be perfect. Your first date with Dean! The very thought made you feel like you were dreaming. Suddenly you see it. A deep red hidden near the back. The best thing you’d seen thus far, you hoped it would fit as you pulled it on in the fitting room. As you look in the mirror, you cannot help but admire how you look. The dress fits like a glove, hugging your figure in all the right places. It was perfect. The thought of Dean seeing you in it made your heart skip a beat.

You find a pair of heels and some gold jewelry to match before making your purchase, excitement building with every passing minute. By the time you are ready to check out, even the shop attendant has caught your happiness. She smiles as she passes you your bags and hopes you have a good evening.

You make it home by four to find Dean waiting for you when you come in. “Hey.” He says, making his way towards you, giving you a quick kiss on your cheek. “What’s that?” He asks, trying to peer into your bags.

“Nothing!” You tell him, moving the bags out of his line of sight. You didn’t want him seeing anything until you were wearing it. “Here are your keys.”

“Thanks.” He takes the keys you hold out. “Hope she’s still in one piece.”

“Unfortunately, she’s in at least three. Maybe take some duct tape with you.”

“Not funny.” He tells you, though he smiles at your sarcasm. “I’ll see you soon.”

“Don’t be late!” You smile at him as you both go your separate ways.

An hour and a half later, you’ve showered and cleaned up and are admiring the dress when you hear a knock on your door. “Can I come in?” Cas calls from the other side.

“Hey Cas!” you greet him as you open the door.

“You look really nice.” He tells you. “You seem calm too.”

“Thanks! Why wouldn’t I be?” you ask with a laugh.

“I thought maybe you were nervous too. Dean needed some reassuring earlier.”

You laugh aloud at the thought of Dean being nervous before your date before assuring Cas you were fine. “What was he saying?” You ask, curious.

“He wasn’t sure if he looked good. He’s doesn’t dress up often apparently. He didn’t want to look like an FBI agent.”

You laugh again at this before turning back to the mirror. “Hair up or down?” You ask Cas.

“Um, down I think.” Cas answers.

“I thought so. I’m really happy tonight.” You are caught by surprise by your own confession, but you had no one beyond Cas and the Winchesters now and you had to talk about your wildest dream coming true. Your heart stings briefly at what getting this has cost you. Tonight you miss your friends more than ever.

“I’m really glad you both stopped hiding your feelings. It’s for the best.” He hesitates for a second before continuing, “and, um, I want you to know you can talk to me. I’m here for you.” He brushes your shoulder awkwardly.

“Thanks Cas.” You say, giving him a hug.

“Now I should go.” He says, already halfway out the door. “Dean will be here soon.”

At six sharp, there is a knock on your door. Suddenly your heart is in your throat. Despite your easy confidence around Cas, nothing looked right anymore. You repress the anxiety brewing in your mind, smooth down your hair, and open the door.

Dean stands at the doorway in a tux, more handsome than you thought anyone could ever look, flowers in hand, nervous smile on his face. “Hey.” He says, voice cracking a little as if he hadn’t spoken in years.

“Hi.” You too are a little lost for words.

“These are for you.” He says, handing you the bouquet of roses.

“Thank you.” You take them in one hand, the other taking the arm Dean offers you. The two of you make your way to the car and you can’t help but appreciate the unseasonably warm evening. You both continue in silence as Dean drives, both smiling to yourselves, wondering why you were so nervous.

Dean breaks the silence first. “I hope you’ll like the restaurant.”

“I’m sure it’ll be great!” You say, voice unusually high and cheerful. You curse yourself inwardly for sounding so awkward.

If Dean notices the squeak in your voice, he doesn’t acknowledge it. He’s too busy taking you in. “You look beautiful.” He tells you.

“Thank you.” You reply. Suddenly you’re reminded of your conversation with Cas earlier and you start to feel like yourself again. “You look really great too. Nothing like an FBI agent.”

“Cas?” he asks simply.

“Yup.”

“Of course.” He laughs and shakes his head. “Well it’s true. I wanted to do this right.”

“You look so good.” You tell him, this time completely serious. “Though, I didn’t think you of all people would need to be told you look good.”

“No I don’t. Usually.” Dean agrees. “But it’s still nice to hear it from you.” He glances at you and smiles, grabbing your hand and kissing it. He knew how to be charming.

The rest of the drive passes by with easy conversation, the ice being broken, and although the drive is long, it feels very brief when Dean pulls into the parking lot. The restaurant he’s chosen is situated on a lake. As you wait to be seated, you tingle with excitement, unable to stop yourself from smiling. You couldn’t remember the last time you were so completely happy.

“Name?” The host asks.

“Winchester” Dean tells him.

“Right this way sir.” He escorts the two of you to a small table close to the water. Dean is sure to pull out your chair before sitting down himself. Fairy lights glitter above and around you, and a small stage and dance floor take up the middle of the seating area.

A candle sits on the table, casting a glow on both of you, and you can’t help but admire, once again, how good he looks tonight. Dean watches you eagerly, and you bite your lip trying not to laugh at his unasked question. “It’s all so perfect,” you tell him, putting him at ease.

The awkwardness had returned just a little between you, and you can’t help but blush and look away from Dean’s face. This time you really do laugh, more at yourself than anything else. Dean’s cheeks also turn a little red as he too laughs at the tension. “Will you believe me when I say I’m not usually so shy on a first date?” He asks.

“Me neither.” You tell him. You were kicking yourself internally for having nothing to say, but all you wanted to do was laugh in the absurd and amazing situation you were in. You had gotten used to magic, hunting, living in the bunker, and everything that came along with being in this universe. But being here, with Dean, felt incredibly surreal.

Dean, for his part, had had many first dates but none felt so high stakes. Most women he’d been with previously, he had known would not be in his life long term. There was nothing to lose and so there was nothing to be nervous about. For the first time in his life, he was on a first date where he needed things to go well.

And so, you’re both a little relieved when the waiter arrives with menus and offers drinks. Things start to feel a lot more normal when you start to place your orders: you were both passionate about food. Once the food is ordered, you find it easier to talk.

“You know about me,” Dean begins, “a lot more than I know about you. Tell me about your life, what was it like, before you were stuck here with us?”

“Pretty boring, honestly.” You say with a laugh.

“Boring is good, trust me. Start at the beginning.”

“Well I was a rebellious little kid, I went to school. Hated it. I didn’t really like rules. Got into a lot of fights with kids who thought they could bully me. Never was the smart kid.”

“Really? I would have guessed you were a perfect student.”

“Not at all! I mean I knew I was smart, I just didn’t see the point in working hard when it wasn’t important. I skipped a lot, never did homework, not until I needed to get it together. Suddenly I was the smartest kid in all my classes. And instead of settling my disputes physically, I was debating them in law class or history class.”

“So best of both worlds.”

“Exactly!”

Dean laughs before continuing, “And your family? I know you have younger siblings.”

Your smile falters a little at this reminder. “Yeah they were, are, a lot younger than me.” You say, voice constricted.

Dean holds your hand at this and begins to apologize, “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to – “

“No, it’s fine.” You cut him off. “I’m fine. At some point I have to learn to think of them normally. So yeah, I was a lot older. I kind of raised them, you know?”

“Yeah. Kind of like me and Sam.” He squeezes your hand. “They’re so lucky to have had you.”

“It wasn’t always easy or fair though. Sometimes I wonder who I would be if I had been able to be myself and had adults to rely on instead of acting the adult. I feel like I’d be a very different person. But then again, I like who I am now so maybe it’s all ok in the end?”

Dean nods, “I won’t say it was worth it, but you are incredible in my opinion. I’m not sure it can make up for losing who you might have been.”

“It makes up for a lot. “ You say, wiping away the tear that had escaped despite your best efforts. “It means more to me than you can ever know.” You smile at him.

At this point you’re relieved that Dean tactfully changes the subject. “So, you ended up a teacher?”

“Yup. I never thought I would. It’s sort of the family profession and I always wanted to do something different, but then I realized I was good at it and it meant I didn’t have to work some soulless corporate job so I was sold.”

“The family business, sort of?”

“Hah! I guess you could say that,” you say with a smile.

“I think that’s awesome. I’ve always had a thing for teachers you know.” He says, winking.

“I’m not surprised.” You quip, rolling your eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks, slightly offended.

“You really think you’re the first guy to tell me he has a thing for teachers? It’s a common theme in my life.”

“Oh.” After a moments thought, “But I am the most badass? Right?”

You can’t help but laugh at his earnest expression before assuring him he was your favourite. “You know, you’re really not acting like yourself, Dean.” You tell him, genuinely surprised at how out of character he was.

“Yeah, well, I blame you.” He says, reverting back, a little, to his usual self, having been called out.

At this point, Dean’s steak arrives at the table followed by your pasta and you’re both very distracted – and hungry – at the sight of food. Dean insists you try his steak and you let him sneak some bites off your plate in return. And so, the rest of the meal passes by with both of you acting like you usually would together.

You and Dean are sharing a slice of pumpkin pie as the sun begins to slowly set over the lake. As dusk takes hold, the band starts to play. Dean wordlessly motions for you to join him and you oblige, joining other couples as you sway to the music. You hold each other close, appreciating every other song more than the last. As stars appear in the sky, you do not notice them, except for those reflected in each other’s eyes. And although you appreciate the music, neither will be able to recall a single song. In this moment, nothing and no one else mattered. You might as well be alone in the middle of nowhere together. While the last song plays, you find yourself leaning your head against Dean’s chest, eyes closed, neither of you really dancing anymore.

When the music ends, neither of you is ready to end the night. After paying the bill, Dean suggests a walk along the beach. You walk in comfortable silence together, Dean’s arm around your waist. “I hope you enjoyed yourself tonight,” Dean says after a while.

“I honestly can’t remember the last time I was so completely happy.” You say, smiling at him.

“Me too.” He replies. “It makes me nervous. Feels like I’m waiting for a catch to this.”

“You don’t trust good things happening in your life?” You ask, although it sounds more like a statement.

“I’ve had a lot of good in my life. It’s just always been followed by a lot of bad. I’ve lost a lot of people I loved. I don’t know if I can stand to lose anymore.”

“I get it. Kind of. Not in the same way but similar. I’ve always kind of felt that anything good that happens in my life gets marred by unhappiness. I’ve gotten things I’ve always wanted and I’ve been very lucky in some ways, but I never truly could find true happiness or satisfaction in it. I’m sorry, it sounds so silly and insignificant compared to what you have been through.”

“I’m glad your problems have been small and insignificant, if you feel they really were. I wouldn’t wish my life on anyone. It’s why I was against bringing you to our world in the beginning. Hell, If it wasn’t safer to have you here, I would still be against it.”

“So you carry the burden by yourself?”

“Absolutely. It’s the only way.”

“Well, I think you should let it go and give yourself more credit. I don’t want to make it weird, but I’ve seen a lot of what you’ve been through and what you’ve done. You make really hard decisions but I don’t think you’ve ever made a wrong one.”

Dean doesn’t reply to this and you’re not surprised. He really could be stubborn about these things. But so could you. You wish you could heal him like Cas did with physical wounds, but some things just weren’t easy.
Dean mulled over your words in silence as the two of you continued to walk. He normally hated being vulnerable, but it didn’t feel so bad with you. In fact, part of him wanted to give in and believe what you said about him, but that was too risky to try. In this moment, you were both happy and together and that would do for now. There was still a lot both of you wanted to know and share, but for now you’d come to an unspoken agreement to let the past stay the past.

As the night gets colder, Dean notices the goosebumps on your skin and puts his jacket around your shoulders, suggesting that you head back for the night. You agree, although you wish you could have stayed out just a little longer. You wanted it to be just the two of you for some time yet.

Back in the car, Dean turns on the radio for the drive home. REO Speedwagon’s “Take It On The Run” is playing on the station. Dean makes a face and goes to switch it off but you stop him.

“I love this song.” You tell him. He looks at you, judgement on his face, but leaves the song on. He judges even more when you badly sing along and when you catch him singing along too, he absolutely denies it.

When Zeppelin’s “Ramble On” plays next, Dean is in his element and you can’t help but laugh at his enthusiastic sing along. By the time you arrive at the bunker, “ Since I’ve Been Loving You” is playing and Dean has his hand on your thigh. As you get out of the car, Dean grabs you hand, pulling you towards him. He kisses you deeply before leading you back inside. His hands remain all over you as you step in, and this time you pull him close. You were still at the top of the stair as Dean began to tug at the zipper on the back of your dress.

“Wait.” You tell him. “What about Sam or Cas?”

“They’re gone.” He tells you, as his mouth starts to kiss your shoulder. “Sam sent me a text earlier.”

It’s all you need to hear. You lead him down the stairs and help him pull off his jacket. Once the first obstacle is removed and thrown aside, Dean turns his attention to you and finishes unzipping your dress before undoing his tie.

His hands make way down your back and begin to pry off your dress as you quickly unbutton his shirt. You reach for his belt and the waistband of his pants as Dean slips your dress down, off your arms around your waist. You decide to help him by stepping out of your dress, leaving it on the floor. You walk ahead in nothing but your lingerie and heels, giving him the view he wants, making your way through the bunker to Dean’s room. At the doorway, you remove his belt and unbutton his pants.

Before you can go any further, Dean pulls you to him and starts exploring your body with his mouth, teeth grazing your skin in all the right places, leaving marks you know you’d have to cover up in the morning. The two of you stumble into the room and Dean kisses you hungrily as his hand finds the clasp of your bra and then the waistband of your panties. He stops briefly to take you in, an appreciative smile on his face that makes you blush. He then removes the last remnants of his clothes before pulling you into his bed.

Over the next few hours, you learn that Dean’s reputation in bed is, if anything, underrated. He quickly picks up your body’s cues and you feel pleasure in ways you didn’t think possible. To your credit, you are a more than capable partner, and Dean is not left wanting. By the time the two of you have finally exhausted each other out, it’s early hours of the morning. Dean lays half on top of you, one leg still between yours. His chin rests near the top of your head and a single sheet half covers you both as you sleep.

You’re still in this position when you find yourself stirring awake, sometime around noon. Despite your best attempts to not wake him, Dean also opens his eyes as your remove yourself from him. “Morning” He mumbles, fighting the sleep out of his eyes.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you,” you whisper.

“You didn’t.” He lies. As you sit up and think about a shower, Dean grabs your hand. “Stay for a few more minutes?” He asks. More than happy to oblige, you lay back in bed, this time your head on Dean’s chest as his arms hold you close. The two of you lay together just a little longer, although you could have stayed this way all day. But Dean had other ideas.

“I have to go do something,” He tells you.

“Do something?” you ask. “Now?”

“Yeah.” He replies, refusing to elaborate. And after placing a kiss on your forehead, he makes his way to the bathroom. He emerges quickly, having showered and dressed in a t-shirt and pyjama pants. Before he leaves the room he turns to you. “Don’t leave the room.” He tells you.

You wonder what he means as you follow his lead and head for the shower. Thirty minutes, and a long shower later, you’re back in Dean’s bed wearing a robe you borrowed from his closet. Your curiosity gets stronger by the minute and, you’re on the verge of deciding to go see what he was up to when Dean returns.

“Oh good, you stayed in the room.” He says.

“I was just about to come find you.” You inform him. “You got lucky, Winchester.”

Dean laughs before explaining what he was up to, “Well I’m glad you didn’t. It would ruin the surprise.” At this he slips back outside before returning with a breakfast tray. “I made us pancakes.”

“Wow, Dean. You really know how to treat a lady.” You tell him. “This is awesome.”

Dean sits next to you and wraps one arm around you, “I know, I’m a gentleman,” he says, digging in.

By the time the two of you are ready to start the day, it’s late afternoon. “Where did Sam and Cas go?” You ask Dean, suddenly remembering they had left.

“They went out to give us some privacy.”

“That’s so sweet!”

“Yeah it was nice of them. Speaking of, do you think we should let them come home?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, Sam texted a while back asking if the coast was clear.”

“How long is a while?”

“A couple hours.”

“Dean! Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Because I wanted you alone with me for a little longer. Can you blame me?”

“Stop trying to be smooth and help me get this place.”

“Get what in order?” Dean asks, perplexed.

“The bunker. In case you don’t remember, you left your clothes all over the place last night.”

“Hey, don’t blame me, you were the one pulling them off me. Plus there’s a red dress somewhere by the stairs, if I remember.” You choose to ignore this.

The two of you work your way through the bunker, retracing your steps from last night, finding remnants along the way. When you grab Dean’s jacket by the doorway, Dean texts Sam to come home.
By the time Sam and Cas return, both of you, and the bunker are fully back to their usual selves.

“Fun night?” Sam asks as he comes in the kitchen where you and Dean are still cleaning up the breakfast dishes.

“It was alright.” Dean replies, winking at you.

Chapter Text

After your first date, you and Dean had been learning to establish new routines, living together in the bunker. Although you had been living together in the same space, you hadn’t been together. Now, there was an unanswered question in the air, would you move into Dean’s room?

Nearly three weeks after your first date, you woke in Dean’s bed. You could tell he was still asleep, and having learned that he could immediately tell when you woke, you pretended to sleep a little longer, feeling his slow deep breathing as you lay awake with your eyes closed. Almost every time you slept together, you woke in the same position: Your head on Dean’s shoulder, arm across his chest, Dean’s arm wrapped around you, hand near your waist, holding you close. It was no different this morning.

You felt it in the way his chest moved before he even stirred that Dean was awake. You had picked up his body’s cues within a few days. “Why didn’t you wake me?” He asks, even though you were still pretending to sleep. Dean knew you possibly better than you knew him – he could read you in his sleep.

“I like watching you sleep.” You reply, fully intending it to sound creepy.

“Stalker.” Dean jokes before kissing you. He doesn’t immediately get up. Instead, he plays with your hair as the two of you find energy to get up for the day. Unlike Sam, neither Dean not yourself were morning people and could not wake up immediately full of energy. Although, according to Dean, he didn’t usually have so much trouble waking up. Without needing his to say it, you knew why this was: he no longer went to bed alone or woke up alone full of anxious thoughts related to hunting.

Eventually, you agree it was time for breakfast and got up to dress for the day. As Dean hopped in the shower, you brushed your teeth and began looking for your clothes in Dean’s closet. By now, half your clothes were in his room, and if someone were to open your closet, they would find men’s flannel shirts, t-shirts, and jeans much too big for you. You weren’t sure how it had happened. You suppose you had left a few outfits in Dean’s room (read: floor) which he had washed with his clothes and taken back to his room instead of returning to you, and perhaps you had done the same. All of this was, of course, unspoken.
In the kitchen, Dean begins to fry up some bacon and eggs as you grab a cup of coffee and join Sam at the table. “Morning.” He says as you sit across from him.

“Hey, Sam. Any new cases today?”

“Nope. Still browsing. It’s been uncharacteristically quiet for the past few days.”

“Well, I’m not complaining. Quiet is good.”

“You’re right.” Sam agrees, “but it’s hard to be holed up here all the time. I’d rather work.”

“Oh, it’s not so bad,” Dean interjects, winking at you as he places a plate of food in front of you before taking the seat beside you.

“What have you done to my brother?” Sam asks you, joking.

After breakfast, you, Sam, and Dean are taking advantage of your spare time to go through the Men of Letters files and catalogues to better understand the breadth of information and items they had stored in the bunker. Although Sam had slowly been working it for a while now, there was plenty left to do. You had been excited to help Sam when he first asked for assistance a few weeks after you came to live with the Winchesters. Your education had proved to be a great asset here, as you were very much at home among old records. Recently, Dean had also volunteered to help out more with this project, something that was out of character for him, but not particularly surprising to Sam. It provided a great opportunity to spend more time with you.

Today, you and Dean were sorting through the files on Skinwalkers. “I hate these things.” Dean says, making a face.

“Understandable.” You tell him.

Dean smiles at your level of understanding. He thinks back to the first time he met you, back in your world. He had been irritated at being in a world, once again, where his life was a television show. He had also been wearied about how you would react to them, having met people who had consumed his life for entertainment before. Thinking back on this now, he felt bad at having thought these things. If anything, now he was sort of glad he didn’t have to explain his past to you.

Skinwalkers were surprisingly common monsters, and so the files were numerous. The two of you worked mostly in silence for an hour or two, occasionally pointing out a noteworthy case or discussing a file. Dean knew you took this very seriously, and he admired your work ethic. However, today Dean was a little distracted. He wanted to ask you something but felt surprisingly nervous about asking this.

“Hey, do you think we should move in together?” He asks.

“Dean, we already live together.” You tell him, teasing him a little by pretending to not know what he meant.

Being used to your humour by now, Dean is not fazed, “you know what I meant.”

“I do.” You concede. “But I’m not sure Dean.” You were surprised at this, as you weren’t fully sure why you were saying no.

“Oh. Can I ask why?” He says, turning to you to better read your face.

You can feel his scrutiny for answers as you try to explain, “I’m not really sure. I just don’t think it feels right for now. We already share so much of our life; I feel like sometimes I need a space that’s just for me. This doesn’t mean that I’ll never want to, just not right now.” You can feel the slight pleading note in your voice and hope Dean isn’t hurt by your answer.

To his credit, Dean doesn’t get upset. “I understand,” he tells you, “I hope one day you will, but I’m not going to rush you.”

“Thanks for understanding,” you tell him, giving him a one-armed hug.

“Of course!” he squeezes you back. “Now I have to go.” He tells you, getting up.

“Where do you keep going?” you ask him yet again. Dean had taken to going off on a mysterious errand almost everyday for the past few weeks.

“You’ll find out soon enough,” he replies mysteriously as he saunters off.

Your not left to wonder long, as Sam arrive shortly after Dean leaves. “Where’d Dean go?” he asks.

“Back to his mysterious errand.” You tell him.

“Oh, yeah. That.” He says.

Something about his tone makes you suspicious. “Wait a minute, do you know what he’s up to?” You demand.

Sam refuses to meet your eyes, and laughs, “Yeah. He told me the other day. But I’m sworn to secrecy.”

“Sam, tell me.” You say in a firm voice. Your curiosity was becoming too much.

“I can’t. But you’ll find out soon, don’t worry.” He assures you. And although you were slightly annoyed, you let it go. For now.

Luckily for you, you’re not left wondering too much longer. That afternoon, Dean returns with excitement all over his face. “Hey,” he says, walking into the library where you were sitting.

“Hey.” You reply, not immediately looking up. But when Dean continues to hover around you without sitting down, you do look up. “What’s up?” You ask.

“I’ve got something to show you.” He says, face alight with excitement.

“Is this related to your secret activities these past few days?” You ask, getting slightly excited to find out what was going on.

“Yup. Follow me." Dean leads you to the front door of the bunker, before stopping you. “Close your eyes.” He says, to which you oblige. “No peeking,” he warns after guiding you out the door. He leads you a few paces before stopping. “Ok. Open.”

“Oh my God, Dean.” You say in awe. Standing before you was a gorgeous red 1967 Mustang.

“Nice, isn’t it?” Dean says, appreciative of your reaction.

“It’s beautiful.” You tell him.

“Well, it’s yours.”

“What?”

“Yeah. I built her back up myself. I remember you saying you wanted a car.”

“Oh my God, Dean.” You say, repeating yourself. You’re touched by him remembering but also by the effort he went to picking out and building the car himself. Unable to express yourself in words, you walk up to Dean, throw your arms around him, pulling him into a kiss. He responds with enthusiasm, nearly lifting you up as he pulls you closer. “Thank you.” You say, when you finally release each other.

Dean just flashes a smile at you and starts showing you around the car. As he explains the engine and other technical details, you’re a little lost at first, but happy to see Dean so excited. And even though you do not know as much about cars as he does, you’re knowledgeable enough to know it was a great car.

“I picked red for the paint.” Dean explains, “because it reminds me of our first date.”

You’re touched, once again, by his thoughtfulness.

“There’s one other surprise.” He tells you.

“Another?” You ask.

“Yeah, look at the front seat.”

You peer inside the front passenger seat to find a small, worn carboard box. You grab the box from the front of the car, a rattling noise came from within. When you open the lid, you find a collection of cassettes.

“They’re some of your favourites. But also, I threw in some of mine.” Dean says, trying to play down the significance of the gesture.

“Thank you, Dean.” You say softly. “I’m so damn lucky to have you, you know.”

“No arguments there.” He says, steering the conversation away from getting too sentimental. “Come. Let’s take her for a spin.” He throws you the key and gets in the passenger seat.

You walk over to the driver’s side, grabbing a tape from the box before placing it in the back seat. As you turn the key, the car roars to life. “Hell yes.” You may not know how to fix a car, but you definitely knew how to appreciate them. Dean watches you with an excited grin, happy to see that his efforts were not wasted.

Before you begin driving, you pop the Kansas tape in the stereo, and Dean turns up the sound. The two of you drive around the backroads for nearly an hour. When you pull up to the bunker, Sam walks outside to meet you. “I thought I heard you guys.” He walks over to the car and checks it out. “It looks great Dean.”

“It’s a talent.” Dean tells him sagely.

“How’d you like it?” he asks you.

“I love it!” You tell him, and then, turning to Dean, “Thanks again, Dean.” Dean puts his arm around you and gives you a little squeeze before the three of you walk back inside the bunker.

Chapter Text

It was a crisp winter evening; you were driving home after running some errands and decided to take the scenic route home. Although the air was cold, it was unseasonably dry and the skies clear. You were happy to have your own car. It made it a lot easier to feel at home and made you feel like your normal, old self.

It was these thoughts that were running through your head when you began to think about the day you first met Cas and the Winchesters. The event that prompted them to find you had been bizarre even by their standards. It was even more puzzling that nothing had come of it. At the time, it seemed more urgent than anything, but then, nothing. You had had no further clues as to what Cas’s vision had to do with you, or Dean. It was not due to a lack of trying, however. You, Cas and the Winchesters had worked diligently to try and find answers at the start of your time in their world. However, your hours of searching had yielded no answers. You had all decided to let the case go for the time being. You were safe and that would be enough for now. But today, it didn’t feel like enough. You were curious and you wanted answers. You made up your mind to bring the topic up with the guys tonight.

After dinner, the four of you usually spent some time together. This was new for the guys who typically just returned to their rooms or worked. But the dynamic had changed with your arrival, and a new routine was formed. As such, today you found yourself playing cards with Sam and Cas while Dean played games on his phone. Now was as good a time as any.

“Hey,” you say to the room at large, “I was wondering, has anyone thought more about Cas’s vision? I was thinking about it today and it’s so frustrating to not know more.”

“Did something happen?” Dean asks, sitting up and putting down his phone, suddenly alert.

“No. It just randomly occurred to me.”

Dean relaxes a little.

“It was odd.” Cas agrees. “But I have been making inquiries and following all leads in heaven and I haven’t found an answer yet.” And indeed, it had not been due to a lack of try. You knew Cas was regularly away for this very reason.

“And there was nothing in the lore. Not that there was much to go off. Cas did only see a brief flash of you and Dean and then a vision of your world. Right Cas?” Sam adds.

“That’s correct.” Cas agrees.

“I wonder why it was me.” A sudden thought occurs to you, “also, does this mean that there’s a second me running around in this world?”

“Huh.” Sam puts down his cards. “That’s a very good question.”

“Cas, what do you think?” Dean asks, his brow furrowed and a look on his face that only appeared during a good case.

“I looked into this already.” He tells you, his evasiveness indicating that it was not good news. “In this world, you’re dead.”

You sit there, slightly shocked at this revelation. You didn’t expect your alternate self to be immortal, but you were still young and not at an age where death would be expected.

“Dead?” Dean asks in surprise.

“Yes. At birth.”

This chills you a little. Your parents had lost more than their fair share of babies both before and after you. It had been a miracle that you had survived somehow. To learn that you had not escaped your siblings’ fate in this world was oddly painful. You weren’t sure why you felt this way, but you found the thought upsetting.

“What’s wrong?” Dean asks, not missing the expression on your face as you process this information.

“Nothing. It’s just weird and a little scary for some reason.” As you explain the random coincidence that was your survival as a baby, having lived where others didn’t, Sam, Cas and Dean agree that something was amiss.

“Cas,” Sam says, “What about other worlds? Not hers or ours. Can you find out?”

“Give me some time.” Cas says, immediately rising.

With Cas’s departure, you, Sam and Dean decide to end the night. You and Dean make your way to your room. You drop on the seat by the door as you walk in, unable to focus on anything besides Sam’s question. You had a strong feeling that this would lead to some answers, knowing yourself, you wouldn’t be able to rest until you got some answers.

Dean was also hopeful that this line of inquiry might lead to some real answers. He could tell this was important to you. It was important to him too. But a small part of him was worried that if they did get their answers, it may lead to a way for you to go home. He hated himself for even thinking it. He wanted nothing more than a normal, safe and secure life for you and it was selfish to think otherwise. But that small nagging voice in his brain couldn’t help but point out how much he would miss you. Dean shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts. None of that mattered right this moment. Sensing your uneasiness, he sits next to you, wrapping his arm around you. You lean into him, head on his chest.

“Talk to me,” he says.

“I don’t know where to being. Or even what to think. I’m not really sure why knowing I’m dead in this world, never really had a chance to exist, bothered me so much. I feel a weirdly protective of all my other selves.”

“That’s understandable.”

“It’s more than that. I don’t think Cas will have good news.”

“Don’t worry about that now.” Dean says, his hand stroking your hair in an effort to calm you.

“That’s a bit rich coming from you. All you do is worry about everything.”

Dean laughs at your sudden shift to call him out. “Yeah, and as you tell me regularly, it’s not healthy. Besides, I’m already doing it for all of us.”

“Well, stop it. It’s my turn.” You joke.

Dean laughs, but then adds on a serious note, “There’s nothing we can do about it now. You’re here and you’re ok and that’s what matters most.”

“I suppose you’re right.” You agree, somewhat reluctantly agreeing to shelve your worries.

“I am.” He leans down and kisses you, soft and slow, putting more true feeling into that kiss than his words could convey. He stops and pulls you up along with him. “Come. Let’s go to bed.” You agree and follow him to your bed and, as was typical for you now, fall asleep in his arms.

The next morning, your uneasiness has returned, despite Dean’s best efforts to alleviate your tension. You don’t have an appetite at breakfast and turn down all offers or suggestions for food, grabbing a drink of water to serve as an excuse for a real meal. Cas still wasn’t back.

After breakfast, you spent the morning scouring for potential cases. You understood why Sam and Dean felt the need to work as many cases as possible without breaks. Doing so provided something else for you to focus on. Luckily, finding cases could sometimes be complicated too. Near noon, you notice a few strange deaths across Michigan, putting together a pattern that reporters and cops missed. The victims bodies were significantly lacking in blood, suggesting vampires. You were making final notes on the case when Cas returned to the bunker.

“Cas!” You exclaim, jumping to your feet. It took a moment to notice how drained he looked. “Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.” He assures you but drops into a chair anyway.

“What happened?”

“Well, travelling to different worlds is not easy. It can actually be quite exhausting.”

“Is there anyway I can help?” You ask, by him.

“No. I’ll be fine. I have news. It’s not good I’m afraid.”

Before he can explain further, Sam and Dean, having heard your voices came in.

“Cas, you’re back.” Dean says upon seeing him. He too pulls up a chair, along with Sam.

“Hi guys.” Cas says.

“Cas, what happened?” Sam asks, echoing you.

“I checked every other potential world in which you could have existed. There is no other version of you that’s alive.”

His words turn you stomach to lead.

“None?” Dean asks, brow furrowed in concern.

“None.” Cas confirms. “They all died by their fifth birthday.”

“How did they die?” You ask, voice a little hallow.

“Some naturally. Others not so much. There were several deaths that were suspicious.”

“Was it demons?” Sam asks.

“Demons. Or angels.”

“Angels? Why would they do that?”

“I’m not sure. If it was on heaven’s orders, it was top secret. I’ve never seen or heard of anything like this.”

A tense silence falls in the room at Cas’s words. Dean gets up automatically and stands behind you, putting his arm around you. “That’s it.” He says, “you’re not leaving the bunker alone.”

“You can’t seriously keep me locked up!” You say, turning to him in annoyance.

“You’re not being locked up, but clearly someone is after you. We need to be careful.”

“If I was supposed to die, I would be dead for decades.” You argue.

“That doesn’t make it safe. We know angels were looking for you recently. Luckily, we have our own access to angel radio and we found you in time. If demons are also involved, it makes this situation even more dangerous.” Dean does not relinquish his hold on you. And although you’re a little annoyed with him, you hold his hand.

“Dean’s right.” Sam says in his calming way, “until we know what’s going on, it really isn’t safe for you to be out alone.”

“Fine. But this doesn’t mean I’m staying holed up inside. I’ll go crazy.”

“Fine.” Dean agrees.

“And if you’re ever in trouble, pray for me.” Cas tells you.

“Thank you, Cas.” You get up and give him a hug. “For that, and for looking answers.”

“It’s no trouble. I would do anything to keep you safe.”

“We all would.” Sam adds. “Don’t worry, we’ll get to the bottom of this. We always do.”

And you allow yourself to relax a little as his words because he was right. If anyone could figure this out, it was Sam, Cas, and Dean. And you.

Chapter Text

“Well I’m glad we agree I’ll be fine in a group, because I have a case.” You tell Sam and Dean after Cas goes off for a well deserved break.

“A case?” Dean asks, incredulous.

“That’s what I said. A case.”

“You wanna work a case? Now? When you’re in potentially life-threatening danger?”

“I thought I was only in danger alone,” you challenge him, “that’s why I’m taking you along.”

“Taking me along?”

“Yes, because it’s my case. Here” You throw your notes to Sam because Dean’s body language was too hostile for your liking.
Sam skims through your notes. “Wow, good pattern recognition,” he says eyes glued to the paper. “Looks like a vampire nest.” This time looking at Dean.

“Great. You and I can go sort it out.” Dean says.

“So, you’re not taking Sam?” You pretend he was speaking to you, not Sam. “Because it’s my case.”
Dean glares at you and you glare right back. Sam watches from aside, taken aback by your sudden disagreement. But also, a little amused at seeing Dean being challenged by someone so directly. “Ahem. Dean, you’re kind of being unreasonable. You did say she didn’t have to stay in the bunker.”

“Stay out of this, Sam.” Dean warns

“Leave him alone.” You tell Dean. “Come Sam. Let’s just go alone. No need for people who can’t stick to their word.” And without looking at Dean, you grab your jacket and head for the front door.

Sam barely has a chance to react, before Dean closes his eyes briefly, as if to clear his head, and announces he’s coming, “Wait. I’m driving.” He tells you, quickly catching up with you. Sam is left to follow the two of you.
The drive to Michigan is long. Made longer by the tense atmosphere between you and Dean. Dean was still on edge, expecting an angel or demon to come attack at any second. You were mad he had tried to hijack your case and had lied about being ok with you going out. The two of you sat in the front without speaking and neither one of you felt like listening to music. Sam sat in the back, at first hiding a smile, still finding the situation a little funny. However, as the hours droned on, his amusement was replaced by frustration.

When you stopped for food, he tried talking to you both in turn. He approached Dean first. “Hey,” he said as they waited to place for food.

“What?” Dean asked, still not feeling friendly.

“Can you be a little more reasonable?”

“No.” Dean replies, in a tone that ended all further conversation.

Dean and Sam return with food and drinks to the table you were saving. Wordlessly, Dean slides into the booth next to you, passing you your food. You’re both cordial with Sam and address all conversation to him. However, when you accidentally spill some of your drink, it’s Dean who reacts first and hands you a napkin without a word.

As you get ready to get back on the road, Sam decides to approach you. “Hey,” he tries again. “Do you think you can let it go?”

You note the desire for peace in his voice, but you’re reply is as firm and final as Dean’s. “No.”

Sam rolls his eyes and follows you back to the car. Dean is already standing there when the two of you arrive. You hold out your hand and Dean hands you his keys. It was your turn to drive.
It’s past midnight by the time you pull into a motel parking lot. You and Sam wait behind as Dean gets you rooms. “Two rooms.” He tells the man at front desk. He hands Sam one key as he takes the other. He holds the door open for you as you walk in. You head directly for the shower, being exhausted from the drive. You don’t lock the door behind you so Dean can get ready for bed as well. By the time you are dressed for bed, Dean is already in bed, eyes closed. But as you get in next to him, he silently pulls you close and finally turns off the light.

You wake to the early morning sun hitting your eyes. As you blink your eyes open, you notice Dean is still in bed, although awake. Noticing you were finally up, he gets out of bed. You smile at this. You were still annoyed with him, but a night’s sleep had calmed you down a little. Plus, you can’t help but appreciate his desire to not wake you up. Even during a fight, he managed to be cute.

Sam knocks on your door thirty minutes later, coffees in hand.

“Dude, where are the donuts?” Dean asks.

“Here.” He says, thrusting a brown paper bag held in his other hand towards Dean.

Dean offers the bag to you before helping himself. “So where do we begin?” He asks you. You smile a little as you walk him through the case.

Based on the previous patterns of this pack, you had determined that they were currently in this town. They tended to take up to six victims in any one area before moving on. This town had only seen two suspicious deaths so far.

The three of you decided to go ask around town about any new group of strangers who had come into town. Local bars at night were your best bet, given vampires’ nocturnal habits and the ample opportunity to find a new victim. The two of you had made a list and split it in two, choosing to halve the work. You decide to go with Sam, leaving Dean to do his round alone. Neither of you gave any indication that this was of any significance, but it was. You were still a little upset at Dean. Dean was a little stung when you told Sam you would join him but did not comment. With both of you continuing to pretend nothing was wrong, despite every indication, Sam was left in the awkward position of third wheel between two people who were at odds. He felt it was best to say or do nothing.

You and Sam still had two more places to check out when Dean called. “I think I’ve found them.” You quickly noted the address, and you go to find Dean. He’s at the bar with his second drink when you arrive.

“Really, Dean?” Sam asked in an undertone, noticing the empty glass in front of Dean in addition to the one he held. “Drinking on the job?”

“I’m fine.” Was Dean’s gruff reply. He was in no mood to argue. “Look over there.” He nodded towards a group in the corner playing pool. There were six of them all together, three men and three women. “They’ve been here for about a week according to the bartender.”

“Looks like our vamps.” Sam agrees, in a low voice.

You wait around until the group leaves the bar at closing time. The six of them pile into a beat up old grey van with suspiciously new plates. “Looks stolen,” you say, point them out.

“Not surprising.” Dean replies.

You follow the van to a dilapidated two storey house on the outskirts of town. The white paint was peeling from the sides and the lawn was nothing but mud. All the windows in the house were boarded up. The van parked right by the door and the vampires piled out. From the way they walked to the house, it was clear they were all paired up with one another.

“Swinger vampires?” Dean suggests with a smirk, making you and Sam laugh. “Looks like only one way in from this side. Sam, why don’t you go around back and see if there’s a backdoor.” Sam agrees and makes his way around to the back. You and Dean are still in the car, watching. “So, your first vampire hunt,” he says. “Please be careful.” This time he turns to look directly at you.

“Of course.” You assure him.

“Here.” He hands you a machete. “Remember, aim for the neck.”

The two of you quietly make your way to the front door. As Dean picks the lock, you keep an eye out around you for any signs of movement. As the door swings open, the house is suspiciously quiet. You gingerly make you way in the dark, a task made much more difficult by the creaky old floorboards. A sound from the kitchen makes your heart skip a beat. However, you realize it’s Sam who had managed to sneak in the back door.

Before any of you can say anything, you hear another creak, this time from the floor above. Sam leads the way as you follow him and Dean up the stairs. You’re nearly at the top when something makes your back prickle with fear. Turning around quickly, you’re face to face with one of the male vampires, his fangs bared as he lunges for you. Panic takes hold of you but is quickly replaced by adrenaline as you swing your blade swiftly towards his neck. You miss. But luckily he had to retreat downwards to avoid it, giving you another chance at a clearer shot. You swing with even more force, this time making contact. The vampire’s head rolls down the remainder of the stairs, landing with a dull thud at the bottom.

Dean is about to turn back to help you just as you had taken your second swing. Impressed by the kill, he turns to follow Sam instead. You follow him, climbing the stairs quickly while looking over your shoulder. As you reach the top, you notice another head on the floor. The vampires seem to be scattering, having lost two of their number already. Sam chases one into a bed room, as Dean fights two more in the hallway. Noticing you, one of the two he is fighting, the woman, comes for you instead. Dean, distracted by this, tries to move towards you, but is thrown back against the wall by the male vampire. You face off against the female vampire. Her dark hair was matted with blood near the bottom, and you could see Dean had injured her already. She lunges towards you, throwing you to the floor. Meanwhile Dean pushes the vampire attacking him off and slices off his head. You’re managing to hold her off when you see Dean swing, and you turn your head and close your eyes to avoid the blood splattering on your face. The vampire’s body slumps on you as her head rolls away. Hunting could be gross.

“Thanks.” You tell Dean as he helps you up. “Where’s Sam.”

“Here.” Sam says, panting a little. “How many is that all together?”

“Four” You tell him.

“Which means there’s two more on the run and they know we’re hunting them. Great.” Dean says tersely. “Let’s check the rooms and get out of here quick. We might be able to catch them.”

The three of you scour the rest of the house for the remaining two, but, as expected, it’s empty. You make your way outside to see a clear set of prints leading to a wooded area behind the house. The area is thick with trees, leaving little room for moonlight to filter through the branches. As you strain to see, every sound is a potential threat. The three of you are spread apart in an attempt to cover more area. You’re walking slightly behind the boys, Sam to your left and Dean to your right when it happens. The remaining male vampire attacks you from behind, grabbing you around the middle. You swing your blade but miss, unable to aim in such close quarters. You cry out in shock, making Sam and Dean turn around, but they can’t make it back to you in time. The last remaining vampire attacks them, just enough to distract them. By the time they shake her free, you’re taken by the vampire holding you.

You’re thrown into the back of a truck hidden in the woods. You begin to struggle as the truck roars to life beneath you, but the female vampire quickly jumps in to where you were and presses a knife to your neck. You feel the sharp sting of the blade and stop struggling.

“That’s right, simmer down.” She tells you.

“Only because it’s your dying wish.” You tell her.

Anger flashes on her face as she presses the blade deeper, drawing blood, “You’ll pay for what you did.”

“What? Did I kill your boyfriend?” You taunt her, unable to stop yourself.

She looks as if she was going to stab you for real, but at the last second, she hits you across the face instead. You feel a keen sting, a bruise already forming, but you were glad to know you were right. They weren’t trying to kill you. Not yet anyway.

Ten minutes later the truck swerves suddenly before coming to a stop. The female vampire drags you out and pulls you towards an old barn. The male follows behind, smiling in anticipation of whatever they had planned. You’re tied to a beam before the pair stalk off in a corner, eyes on you the whole time. It was clear you were bait.

The vampires hear the Impala before you do, scrambling to their feet in excitement. They stand on either side of you, knives in both their hands.

Dean runs into the barn before Sam. “Move away from her, bitch.” He tells the two holding you hostage.

The female vampire only smirks in response, once again gliding her blade against your neck. “Or, how about I kill her? Cut her head off?”

“If you so much as scratch her, I’ll make you regret it.” Dean says in a low voice.

“Oh, sweetheart, I already have.” She forces your head to the side to clearly show the cuts she made earlier on your neck.

As Dean comes towards her, ready to attack she pulls behind you. “Watch it.” She warns Dean. “Come closer and she’s dead.”

“I’m gonna kill you.” Dean threatens her again, anger coursing through his words.

“Oh, does it hurt? To see someone you care about die?” She mocks. “She killed my friend, and you killed my husband.”

“That scum was your husband?” Dean asks in surprise.

“Watch your mouth!” She warns. In retaliation, she cuts your face. You cry out in surprise more than pain, feeling a warm trickle of blood make its way down your cheek.

At this, Dean pauses, “Let her go. Let her go, and you’re free.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Then take me instead.”

“Shut up, Dean!” You tell him.

He ignores you and carries on, “Let her and my brother go. You can have me. I killed him, take me.” He throws down his weapon and slightly raises his hands.

“Interesting.” She looks over to the other vampire who grins in excitement. She pretends to consider Dean’s offer as he makes his way slowly towards Sam. “Or I just kill her.”

Suddenly the male vampire attacks Sam. In this moment of distraction, the female vampire moves away from you slightly, giving Dean a chance to attack. Luckily, Sam manages to behead the vampire attacking him fairly quickly and runs towards you to cut the ties binding you.

You barely thank him before turning towards Dean and the remaining vampire. Being the last one standing, she was angrier than ever, throwing Dean backwards, as he held the machete against her neck.

“Dean!” You run to him, reaching him before the vampire. Dean pulls you behind him as she attacks for the last time, fangs bared. Her mouth is still open in a snarl as her head lands on the floor. Dean breathes a sigh of relief. He turns to you and wordlessly caresses your face, checking for injuries. He finds several cuts on your face and neck, some still bleeding, and bruises all over. He touches you gently to avoid causing you more pain but you don’t feel your injuries.

“Are you ok?” You ask him.

“I always am.” He flashes you a smile that doesn’t last long. “Come. Let’s get out of here. Sam, you ok?”

“Yeah.” Sam replies, grabbing dropped weapons.

The three of you stop at the motel before heading back to Kansas but nobody wanted to sleep, choosing instead to leave right away.

It’s afternoon by the time you are close to the bunker. You had fallen asleep part way through the drive. You wake now to bright sunlight hitting your eyes, neck cramping from leaning against the door. As you get a sense of your surroundings, you notice Dean’s jacket under your head.

“Morning” He tells you, noticing you were up.

“Sorry for falling asleep.” You mumble, still not fully conscious.

“Everyone deserves a rest after being tortured by vampires.” Dean assures you. “We’re nearly at the bunker now. Cas can help with those.” He says, indicating your injuries.

You settle back in the seat, making yourself comfortable for the rest of the drive. Something was bothering you about Dean. He sounded too casual after last night’s events. Maybe he didn’t want to upset you further. You decide not to overthink about it for now.

A few hours later, you’re cleaned and healed thanks to Cas. As you head to the kitchen for a drink, you find Dean sitting alone, whiskey in hand.

“Hey.” You say to him.

“Hi.”

He looks tense and a little nervous. “Everything ok?” you ask him, a little concerned.

“We need to talk.”

“Ok.”

“Last night, the vamp came after you because she knew hurting you would be revenge on me. You could have died.”

“Same goes for you. Dean don’t do this.”

“I’m sorry.” He looks down, unable to meet your gaze. “Believe me, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But, I can’t have my life be a risk to yours.”

“What are you trying to say exactly?”

“I’m saying we have to stop this. Us.”

“Just like that?” You ask, the hurt coming through in your voice despite your best effort.

“No. Of course it’s not just like that. But yes, we have to stop.”

“Fine. I understand.” And before Dean can look up at you, you’ve turned around and left the kitchen.

Tears sting your eyes but you refuse to cry. You head to your room and start packing your clothes. You go to Dean’s and find the rest of your things before he gets there. You did not want him to see you right now. Within an hour you’re packed and you go find Cas.

“Hey, I’m so sorry to bother you. I know you need to recover, but I need a favour.”

Cas looks at you with concern, “is everything ok?”

“No. Not really. I need you to find me a safe place to stay. And maybe take me there?”

“The safest place is here.”

“Yes, but I can’t stay here.”

“Is it Dean? I can talk to him.” Cas is already halfway up as he speaks.

“No. He’s just doing what he thinks is best. I need to do what I think is best for me. I can’t stay here.”

“Let me talk to Sam. He might have some ideas of where you can go.”

You’re grateful that Cas doesn’t press you further. “Don’t tell Dean.” You tell him as he leaves.

You wait in Cas’s room, pacing to rid yourself of your anxious energy. Cas returns shortly, followed by Sam.

“You’re leaving?” Sam asks, still in shock.

“Yup.”

“I really don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Well, staying here doesn’t make sense. Plus, I’d lose my mind.”

“Dean can be stubborn.”

“I know. I don’t blame him because he really does think he’s doing what’s right.”

“If you’re sure you want to go somewhere else, we know another hunter, Eileen, she has a safe house where she stays. She says she’s happy to have you join her.”

“Sounds good to me.” You head out towards the door. Cas and Sam follow you out. At the front stairs you hug Sam goodbye. Before you leave you remember one last thing. “Here. Give these back to Dean for me.” You hand Sam the keys to your car.

“You’re going to kill him.” Sam tells you, barely joking.

“I hope not. I hope he can understand.”

You’re not yet out the door when Dean realizes you’re leaving.

“Wait!” He calls, coming up the stairs. “Where are you going?”

“I’m leaving, Dean. I can’t stay here.”

“Leaving?” he asks, incredulous. “Why?”

“Two reasons, really. One because I couldn’t stay here and see you everyday. Second, because I can’t shut off my feelings and I doubt you can either. If we live together, nothing really changes and we’re still putting each other in danger.”

“Fine. Then I’ll leave.”

“Don’t be stupid.” You snap. “Dean what do you even want? I know you’re looking out for me. I know you’re scared of getting people hurt, but this hurts me more than most other things could. You can save people’s lives, but you can’t guarantee them a life free from danger. But if you feel you’re a danger to me, we’re both better off living far away from each other.”

“Why give back the car?” He asks, not directly acknowledging what you said.

“I can’t stand to see it everyday. I would never get over you.”

“Please don’t leave.” You hear his voice crack a little and notice the moisture in his eyes. He pulls you into a tight embrace. “I never meant for you to leave. I never wanted to do this at all. These past few weeks, I’ve been happier than I could ever have thought possible for someone like me. But I felt selfish for wanting you so much. And when that vamp used you as bait, it scared me.”

“Dean, I’ve told you and I mean it, I want you to be happy. Hell, I want me to be happy. These past few weeks have also been the best thing that’s happened to me. Which is why I couldn’t stay here.”

“Is it too late for me to take it all back?”

“No, it’s not.” You tell him, holding him tighter.

Dean kisses the top of your head before pulling away. “Come. Let’s go back inside.” He grabs your bag and follows you back.

Back in your room, Dean helps you unpack. He only unpacks half your things.

“Leaving the rest for me to do?” you ask.

“No. I think this stuff was in my room.”

“I think you’re right.” You smile at him. “Come here.” You pull him to your bed. Getting the hint, he pulls you close for a kiss, his hands roaming your body. You’re both still half dressed when there’s a knock at your door.
You quickly put your shirt back on, hastily buttoning a few buttons before opening the door. It was Sam.

“I wanted to give you back your keys…” He says, trailing off as he notices what he walked into.

“Oh. Thanks, Sam!” You say, pretending nothing was wrong.

“Sorry. Bad time.” He says, noticing Dean standing behind you, looking a little annoyed, shirtless. He smiles awkwardly before hastily making his exit.

“Now, where were we?” Dean asks, pulling you back to him.

Chapter Text

Dean had been very apologetic after your fight. He had refrained from making any similar comments or giving any ultimatums, but you knew he was still nervous for you. Anytime the two of you were out, he was distracted, paying close attention to your surroundings. You were glad he had stopped trying to jeopardize your relationship, but you wished he could relax a little. Although, he wouldn’t be Dean if he could. Sam was also really happy to see that Dean had for once managed to not sacrifice his own happiness. He really liked the way Dean was acting more like the Dean he used to know, before all kinds of trauma and loss entered his life.

As winter set in, so did anticipation for an important date: January 24th. As far as you knew, Dean never really celebrated his birthday. You wanted it to be different this time. None of you had wanted to celebrate any holidays this season. It was your first time being away from your family and the Winchesters generally never did. Although Sam had suggested it, more for your sake than anyone else, you had refused. But birthdays were different. You were a big believer in celebrating birthdays.

When the new year rolled around, you began to start planning. You were debating between surprising him with Sam and Cas, or planning something more intimate, just the two of you. In the end, you decided on both. This made it all even more complicated. On top of it all, you and Dean were so often together, it was hard to get time away to plan in secret. You were hesitant for him to know you were planning something, lest he guess what was up.

With two weeks to go, you decided to recruit Sam and Cas. One day while Dean was out, you sat them both down and told them what you were planning. “I need it to be a surprise, but I can’t pull this off alone without Dean getting suspicious.”

“We can help you out.” Cas assures you.

“Yeah, just tell us what you’re planning.” Sam agrees.

“Well, I think we should surprise him around noon. Nothing too fancy but maybe a small part and a cake? We could get it set up while he’s asleep.”

“That should be easy enough.” Sam replies. “If you keep him busy, we can get it all together.”

“That shouldn’t be a problem.” You tell him. At this Sam looks at Cas and raises an eyebrow. “Shut up, Sam.” You tell him, not missing this.

“Hey, I didn’t say anything.” He says, pretending to be innocent.

“You know what you did.” You tell him.

“This will be good for Dean.” Cas says, saying aloud what you were all thinking.

And so, the three of you began to plan Dean’s surprise party. Sam had suggested inviting a few guests as well, to which you had agreed. It would make it more like a real party, and you’d get a chance to meet some of their friends. Sam and Cas were in charge of décor and the guest list, while you would go pick out a cake the day before.

It was January 22nd and the streamers, confetti, and a birthday sign had been hidden in the bunker. Dean had had zero suspicions about anything going on. The day before, however, you couldn’t seem to shake him. You and Cas were supposed to go pick up the cake but Dean had decided to spend all day at home, most of it with you. As evening came around, time called for a more direct approach.

“Hey, Dean.” Sam said, coming to find him. “Wanna go out? I feel like we never hang out just the two of us.”

“What do you mean?” Dean asks, a little surprised. “We’re always together. Like always.”

“Yes, but when was the last time we did something together that wasn’t work?”

“Are you feeling ok?”

“I’m fine. But you know, it’s your birthday tomorrow. You’re a year older. Who knows how much time you have left. Especially with your diet.” He adds, smirking.

“Shut up, Sam” Dean says, rolling his eyes.

“Seriously, just come with me.”

“I still don’t know why.”

“I miss spending time with you. Isn’t that enough.”

“No, because neither of us have left for you to miss me. But fine.” He relents. Sam knew Dean couldn’t say no to him for long.

Dean comes to you before he leaves. “I’m just going out with Sam for a bit.” He tells you. “I’ll be back soon. I’m not sure what he even wants.” He adds, still a little annoyed his plans to stay in were disrupted.

“Oh!” You say, feigning surprise, as if you hadn’t texted Sam what to do. “Well, I hope you two have fun!” You hug him goodbye, and then in his ear, whisper, “And, uh, don’t be out too late.”

“You’re making it hard to leave.” He says, refusing to let you go.

“Sam’s waiting.” You tell him, pushing him away. “I’ll see you later.”

With Dean safely out of the way, you and Cas drive to a local bakery. Being late in the day, you’re not exactly spoiled for choice. As you’re browsing the meagre options in one display, Cas checks the other.

“I think I’ve found the perfect cake.” He says.

You go to where he’s standing and he’s right. A cake topped with pie. It was perfect.

You pay for the cake and make it back to the bunker quite quickly; Sam and Dean hadn’t been gone for two hours. You text Sam letting him know the coast was clear.

Thirty minutes later, Dean comes to your room. “Well, that was odd.” He tells you, taking off his jacket and throwing it on a chair.

“What was odd?” You ask, barely looking up.

“Sam. He drags me out and then immediately wants to go home.”

“Maybe he remembered how boring you can be.”

“Funny, that’s not what you were saying earlier.” Dean reminds you, making you blush. He closes the door before making his way to you.

While you and Dean were busy, Sam and Cas put up the balloons and streamers.

“This is a very interesting concept.” Cas said, holding up a balloon. “It’s just a plastic sphere of air, and yet so festive.”

“Um, yeah. I guess it is festive.” Sam agrees, always a little amused by Cas’s observations on human practises. “Wait till you see the streamers.”

The next morning, you wake up before Dean and check your phone quickly before he gets up. A text from Sam from last night tells you everything was set up. However, the hardest part was now. You had to keep Dean in the room while everyone else arrived. It wasn’t a large group, but seeing any one of them would tip him off. As he stirs awake, you quickly put your phone away.

“Happy birthday!” You tell him. “I didn’t get a chance to say it last night.”

“No, but I got a hint of it anyway.” He winks at you. “Our best work yet.”

“Yeah, not bad for someone rapidly aging.”

Dean’s too happy to be offended. He lays back in bed, smile on his face. “You know, I never thought my life would be so different so quickly.”

You lean over him and kiss him. “Me neither. But I’m glad.” But then you get up and throw on a shirt.

“Where are you going?” Asks Dean, sitting up.

“It’s my turn to spoil you.” You tell him. “Also, don’t leave this room if you know what’s good for you.”

“Fine.” Dean agrees, “But don’t be long.”

In the kitchen you find Sam and Cas talking to a dark-haired woman. “Morning, guys.” You say to the room at large.

“Hey!” Sam says, “this is our friend Eileen.”

“Hello! We were supposed to be roommates.” Eileen says, smiling.

“HI! It’s good to finally meet you!” You say, hugging her hello. “Thank you for offering to share your home with me, even if I ended up staying here in the end.”

“I’m glad it all worked out.” Eileen says. “I think it was best for both of you.”

“It really was.”

“Where is Dean?” she asks.

“Still in bed. He has no idea about any of this.”

As you’re still talking with Eileen, a new figure walks into the room. Garth hugs everyone in the room in enthusiastic hello.

“So, you’re from another reality?” He asks after pleasantries are exchanged.

“Yup!”

“And our lives were a TV show?”

“Yeah.” You say, feeling a little awkward at this.

“Was it good?”

“Yeah, it was. I mean I liked it, as did a lot of other people.”

“Nice!”

Before the conversation can get more awkward, you hastily make an excuse and leave the kitchen. On your way out, you run into yet another new person: Jodie.

“Oops.” You say, nearly running into her.

“Woah there!” She says, moving out of your way.

“So sorry.” You tell her, “I should have been watching where I was going.”

“No harm done.” She tells you smiling. “I’m Jody. Though you may already know that.”

You laugh at the last part, but inwardly cringe. Maybe this was a bad idea. “I do,” you tell her, “I’m so glad you could make it.”

“Anything for Dean. That boy deserves to be celebrated way more than he is.”

“Can’t disagree with you there.”

“I’m also glad he has you. If you had told me Dean Winchester would have a steady relationship, I’d have asked if you knew the right Dean. You’ve really changed him.”

“I’m not sure I’ve changed him, really. But he does seem more open to new possibilities.”

“The right person can do that for you. Now, where can I put this?” She asks, indicating the food she had brought.

“Oh, just in the kitchen there. You can give it to Sam.”

“Thanks.” She says before heading in.

You make your way to the sitting room where everything was set up, under the guise of making sure everything was in order, you needed a few minutes alone. Meeting new people could be challenging for you under normal circumstances, but with your peculiar history, it was all the more daunting. You’re still enjoying the silence when the door opens and a red haired woman walks in. It was Charlie.

“Hey! Oh my God, I’ve been looking for you! I’m Charlie!”

Her energy brings you out of your anti-social stupor and you return her greeting with enthusiasm.

“Hey, Charlie! It’s so good to meet you!”

“I’ll bet. Dude, you are living my dream. Living in a fictional world, meeting fictional characters? I’m so jealous.”

“If it helps,” you tell her, laughing, “you were a fictional character in my world. A much loved one, might I add.”

“Ok, that is cool!” She agrees. “You guys did a great job. Dean’s going to love this.” She says, walking around the room.

“I hope so!” You say. “Oh crap. Dean. I implied I was getting us breakfast. I gotta go before he ruins everything.”

You return to the kitchen, grab a coffee and muffin each before quickly returning to your room. Dean comes out of the shower right as you get there.

“Hey.” You say, perhaps a little too enthusiastically.

“Hey.” Dean replies. “I thought you were getting breakfast.”

“I did,” you tell him, indicating the meagre coffee and muffin.

“Breakfast of champions.” Dean says upon seeing it.

“Sorry. I forgot I can’t really cook.”

At this Dean laughs, “Well I appreciate the thought,” he tells you.

You’re distracted as you drink your coffee, checking your phone every few minutes. Dean was talking to you, but you were unable to pay attention. “So that’s why…” He trails off, noticing you weren’t really listening. “Everything ok?” He asks.

You jump a little, not realizing how obviously distracted you were. “Yeah. Of course.” You check your phone one more time and see Sam’s text to bring Dean. “Well actually maybe not. Let’s get out of here. I’m tired of being in this room. Let’s go watch a movie or something.”

“Ok.” Dean agrees, a little confused.

As you pass the kitchen, Dean suddenly changes course. “I’ll grab some snacks,” he says, making his way in.

“Wait!” you shout. “I mean, we just ate breakfast. We don’t need more food.”

“We don’t?” Dean asks.

“Nah.” You assure him.

As you reach the room, you walk in before Dean and let the door close behind you. You wanted to see his face when he walked in.

A little offended at being shut out, but mostly confused at your behaviour, Dean open the door.

“Happy birthday!” You all say in unison. Someone throws confetti over him, covering him in colourful, glittering circles.

Dean is lost for words, managing only a large smile. He had not anticipated this at all. His birthday usually went unnoticed, with only the small acknowledgement from Sam or Cas. He was sure the last time anyone had thrown him a party was his mom when she was alive. “Wow.” He finally manages. “I can’t believe this.”

“Happy birthday, Dean.” You say, giving him a hug and a quick kiss.

As Dean makes his way around the room, beaming with unexpected happiness, you can’t stop smiling. Seeing Dean happy made you happy.

After the cake is cut and a chorus of happy birthday, everyone mills about eating and talking. You stand alone in a corner, still a little exhausted from meeting so many new people. You’re not alone for long, however, as Dean comes to find you. “I’m guessing this was you?” He asks.

“Yup. Though Sam and Cas made it all possible.” You say, giving them their due credit.

“Well, it’s really great. Thank you.” Dean says, putting his arm around you. “Hey, was that what last night was about? With Sam?” realization dawning on him.

“Yes,” you laugh, “we had to get you out of the way.”

“Well, it was a great surprise.” He tells you.

“It’s not over yet.” You tell him.

“Oh?”

“I have one more plan. But that’s just you and me.”

“Never going to complain about that.” He tells you.

As the party winds down and everyone makes their way through the food and drinks, you start to enjoy yourself. After the initial awkwardness of how you came to be here at the bunker is gone, you find everyone to be really friendly and you’re glad to meet Sam and Dean’s friends. You had known about them before, of course, but meeting them suddenly in a social setting was jarring. Unlike when you met Sam, Cas and Dean, there was not urgency or danger to break the ice. However, by the end of the day, you’re friends with all of them too. Particularly Charlie. She understood your past self better than anyone else.

As evening rolls around, you decide it was time to go. You go find Dean who is talking to Charlie. “Hey, sorry to interrupt, but we gotta go.” You tell Dean.

“Is this the second part?”

“Yep.”

“Second part to what?” Charlie asks.

“Dean’s birthday.” You tell her. “There’s another thing we have to get to.”

“Just the two of you?” She asks, eyebrow raised.

“Yes.”

“Ok. You two kids have fun and be safe.” You both blush at the implication behind her words but Dean just winks at her.

The two of you say your goodbyes and make your way to your car parked outside the bunker. “Where are we going?” Dean asks as you start driving.

“Not that far. I rented us a hotel. I’m taking you out on a date, Dean Winchester.”

“How did I get so lucky?” He asks, watching you with a smile.

“I don’t know but you sure did a good job trying to undo recently.” You remind him.

“I was an idiot.”

“Yeah, you were. Don’t ever do that again.”

“I promise I won’t.”

“Listen, I know typically driver picks the music, but, since it’s your birthday, I’m feeling generous. It’s your call.”

“Very kind of you.” Dean says, rifling through your tape collection, knowing exactly what he was looking for given that he had put it together.

You arrive at the hotel and you’re happy to see it looks as nice as it does in its pictures. You had opted for something much more expensive than the usually cheap motels you stayed in for hunts. At the desk, you give them your name, and are led to your room at the top floor. You drop the bag you have packed on a table and go to the window, appreciating the view of the city as the sun begins to set. Dean comes and stands behind you, arm around your waist, too distracted to look at the view.

“Not just yet.” You tell him. “We’re going out.”

The two of you walk to a local burger place which promised the best burgers in Kansas. Dean recognizes it as soon as it comes in your line of sight. “Good choice.” He tells you. You’re glad it had the Dean Winchester approval.
After a large meal of cheeseburgers, which were as good as promised, you walk to your next destination: an arcade. You kick Dean’s ass at skee-ball but he gets you back with Space Invaders. After you’ve played all the good games twice, the two of you make your way to the bar.

“I had a great time today.” Dean tells you in earnest.

“Good. I’m glad.” You tell him.

“I know I said it before, but damn, I got lucky with you.”

You don’t say anything, but lean into him a little, smiling, but feeling a little exhausted from the day. At the bar, you both get a little drunk, having ordered too many celebratory shots. By midnight you’re talking way too loudly and decide it was a good time to walk back to the hotel. The night is cold and helps sober you up a little by the time you are back in your room.

You immediately throw off your jacket as you enter, Dean trails behind you, but follows your lead in removing the many layers he was wearing. When you’re both down to the final layers, you throw your arms around him. “I forgot to get you a gift. Sorry.” You whisper.

“I don’t need a gift. Not when I’ve got you. Besides,” he removes the rest of your clothes before throwing you gently on the bed and crawling on top of you, “I owe you a thank you.” He smiles at you suggestively before moving downwards, exploring every inch of your body. You close your eyes and let him work his magic. By the time he’s done you’re seeing stars and your head feels light.

“Damn.” Was all you manage to say to him.

Dean grins, pleased with himself. His hands still caressing you as he watches you come to your senses.

You look at him and can’t contain yourself. “I think I love you, Dean.” You tell him.

Dean laughs. “I’m that good, huh?”

You laugh too. “I’m serious.”

Dean leans over and kisses you, slow and passionate. “I love you too.” He whispers.

Chapter Text

“I’m hungry. I’m gonna make tacos.” Dean announced.

“Yum.” You replied without looking up from what you were doing.

“Good idea.” Sam tells him, also preoccupied.

“Well if you want to eat, you gotta help.” He told the both of you, unimpressed with your response.

“We all know I can’t really cook.” You tell him, excusing yourself.

“Yeah I don’t think I would help much either.” Sam adds.

Dean rolls his eyes. “Here’s a list. I need some things.”

Sam grabs it and scans the paper, “This is pretty much everything you need. Isn’t it easier to just buy tacos?” he asks.

“I’m gonna pretend I didn’t hear that.” Dean tells him. “Don’t be long.”

Now Sam rolls his eyes and looks at you with a look that says let’s get this over with. You supress a laugh and agree to go.

At the store, Sam walks ahead of you. He was so tall, you were always struggling to keep up with how fast he walked. You’re just about to tell him to wait up when you’re distracted by a woman, standing a distance away, staring at you. You do a double take, looking back towards her, but she is no longer looking your way. Assuming that you were overthinking, you shake the image from your head and catch up with Sam.
The two of you are nearly done, when you turn into an aisle and stop in your tracks. It’s the woman again. This time you take in her appearance. She was tall, muscular, with shoulder length dark hair. But it was her face that had you transfixed. She was smiling and it was giving you chills. Something about her seemed so sinister. Your heart starts beating faster before you even realize you were afraid. The woman looks at you briefly before walking briskly past. Her shoulder brushes past yours and your vision blacks out at her touch.

Trees rush past you. You were running? You knew where you were going but had no idea where you were. Something was glowing up ahead. You had to reach it

You blink awake to find you vision hazy and your head hurting worse than it had ever hurt before. It takes a minute for you to situate yourself. You were still in store with Sam. He was cradling your head, trying to wake you up, panic in his voice. You sit up slowly, not fully hearing what he was saying to you. Other people were watching, curious. You sit up, still dizzy, but force yourself to stand quickly. You grab a shelf and Sam for support. As guides you outside, Sam’s phone rings. “What? We’re on our way.” He tells whoever it is, sounding urgent. He seats you in the passenger seat and closes your door. Sam drives faster than you’ve ever known him to drive. He tries asking you questions but they do not register in your head.

By the time you reach the bunker, you’re able to walk properly. Your mind is still fixated on the trees and that glow. Sam chases after you as you leave the car before him and go to the bunker. Inside, you find Dean and Cas. Dean looks as confused as you felt. Cas was talking to him in a low voice. “What happened?” you ask them.

“A vision. I think.” Dean tells you. “I think the same one you had.”

“How did you know I had a vision?” you ask, confused.

“Sam called me when you blacked out.” Cas explains. “Same thing happened to Dean and pretty much the same time. I came to find him when I saw him unresponsive too.

“How long was I out?” You ask Sam.

“About ten minutes.”

“Ten minutes?” It had only felt like a few seconds in your head.

“What did you see?” Dean asks you.

“Trees. A forest, I think. And something was glowing.”

“Were you trying to reach something too?”

“Yeah, I was.”

Sam and Cas watch the exchange with concern. “Cas, do you have any idea what this could mean?” Sam asks him.

“No. But it’s definitely connected to the first vision the angels had. It seems like things might be starting up. Though what’s starting, I couldn’t tell you.”

“Did you see anything else?” Dean asks you.

“No. We both saw the same thing I think.”

“Why all of a sudden though?” Cas wonders.

You think back to the moments before you blacked out. The woman. “There was a woman.”

“A woman?” Sam asks. Dean sits up and Cas furrows his brow.

“Yeah didn’t you see her? She passed us right before I fell.”

“There was no one around us.” Sam tells you.

“She was there.” You insist. “She was tall, short dark hair. She gave me the creeps.”

“Did you talk to her?” Dean asks.

“No. But she smiled at me. Then she brushed past me and everything went dark.”

“Wait, she actually touched you?” Cas asks.

“Yeah. Just her shoulder. Do you think that’s what started all this?”

“A mystery woman that scares you and Sam can’t see? I think she’s got everything to do with this.”

“Then we should go back! See if we can find something or her.” You say

“You’re right but you’re not going.” Cas tells you.

“I agree with Cas.” Dean says

“Nor is Dean.” Cas adds.

Dean glares at him before agreeing to this, “fine.”

And so, Sam and Cas go to investigate, leaving you and Dean to ponder the meaning of your vision. The two of you began by detailing every element of the vision that you could remember. It had been such a brief but vivid snapshot of something that there weren’t many details either of you forgot. Dean also saw the glow ahead and knew he was in some type of forest. It had been dark where you were, but it was definitely during the day, suggesting an old forest with a thick canopy. Both of you recalled the sense of urgency that propelled you, and both thought they were alone.

“I wonder what kind of vision it is.” You said, thinking out loud.

“What do you mean?” Dean asked.

“I mean is this something that’s going to happen? Like a premonition? Or is it symbolic.”

“A premonition would mean it’s a real place.” Dean pointed out, “maybe we can pinpoint a location through some detail in the vision.”

“Yes, let me google trees.” You reply sarcastically.

“No need to be snarky, it was just an idea.” Dean tells you, supressing a laugh. “Well, then we have to hit the books. See what we can find on shared visions.”

You and Dean spent the rest of the time Sam and Cas were away coming through large volumes on visions and premonitions and forest lore, anything that you could get your hands on. It was a lot of information. You weren’t even halfway when Sam and Cas returned.

Sam and Cas both looked a little subdued when they returned, prompting an anxious inquiry from Dean. “What did you find?” he asked.

“It was a demon. We think. There were traces of sulfur”

“Demon?” Dean asks. “How can a demon instill visions?”

“Or was it a coincidence, you think?” you add.

“It was no coincidence.” Cas says. “This was no ordinary demon. The traces she left behind indicate a demon that is old and powerful.”

“Did you guys find anything?” Sam asks.

“We found way to much if you ask me. There’s a ton of crap on visions and even more on forest and trees in the lore.” Dean tells him, exhausted from the amount of information to sift through and frustrated with the lack of answers. He leans back and closes his eyes, trying to think of something that could be helpful. He wasn’t worried about a demon, but with visions involved, he knew it would not end well. He was especially concerned for you. You were front and center in this whole situation and it worried him constantly. He took some small comfort in knowing he seemed to be as implicated as you were, meaning he could be with you to protect you when needed.

Like Dean, you were also trying to fit together the little bits and pieces of information you had so far. It involved both angels and demons. There was either a literal or symbolic forest, a glowing object, you and Dean. The involvement of angels made biblical lore a good place to start. “I think we can narrow our search.” You say to the room. “Look at biblical lore.”

“Biblical lore?” Sam asks.

“Yeah,” You explain, “Think about it. If heaven and hell are involved, it’s not going to be some obscure pagan thing.”

“That’s a good point.” Dean says, sitting up. “Cas, what do you think?”

Cas’s brow is furrowed in thought. “That makes sense.”

“The Garden of Eden?” Sam suggests.

“It didn’t feel like heaven. It definitely felt like I was on Earth. Right?” Dean asks you.

“I mean I’ve never been anywhere else, but yeah it felt like Earth.”

“The fruit.” Cas says. “The forbidden fruit.

“An apple tree then?” Dean asks.

“No, that’s a misconception. The forbidden fruit wasn’t an apple. I think it’s time I made some inquiries in heaven. Someone up there has to know what’s going on.”

“Ok. But, be careful, Cas.” Dean tells him.

Cas nods before departing, leaving a tense silence in the room.

“I need a break.” Dean says, shortly after Cas is gone.

“Me too.” You agree. “We should get food.”

“Good idea. You and I can go.”

“Us?” you ask, a little confused.

“Yeah. Why’s that surprising?.”

“Well, traditionally, this is the point where you get over protective and try to keep me locked in the dungeon.”

“Hey, I’ve learned to respect your boundaries. Also, you need to get a tattoo.”

“Anti-possession?” Sam asks

“Yup. A charm won’t cut it anymore.”

“Are you sure?” you ask.

“What? Are you telling me you’re scared of tattoos?” Dean asks, smirking.

“No!” You say, sounding more defensive than you mean to. “I’m just not good with deliberately inflicted pain.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll be there to hold your hand the whole time.” He tells you, still smiling in amusement.

“Oh good, I’m saved.” You say rolling your eyes.

“I’m sorry I’m going to miss this.” Sam says, amused.

“Keep reading.” You tell him with a glare.

Although it’s a bright day outside, the tattoo place is dimly lit and tiny. Neon lights line the walls, providing most of the visibility. It’s also completely empty. “You’re sure this is the one?” You ask Dean, a little sceptical.

“Yeah I think so. It’s not ideal but it is the closest one and the reviews weren’t bad.”

This does not reassure you.

“Hey,” a voice calls from somewhere behind the small reception area. A tall, lanky man with shaggy, straw coloured hair emerges from the dark. “Do you have an appointment?”

“Do we need an appointment?” Dean asks, looking around at the deserted shop.

“Absolutely.” The man tells him, completely serious.

“Well then when can you fit us in?” Dean was trying very hard not to roll his eyes.

“Let me see.” The man makes a show of checking a leather register on the desk. “How about today?”

“Great.”

“Please have a seat. My name is Steve.”

“Thanks, Steve.”

You and Dean sit on the cracked leather couch as Steve disappears again. Fifteen minutes later he returns and ushers you into the next room. This room is surprisingly clean and, thankfully, lit. Least Steve could see what he was doing. Your anxiety, which had dissipated at the bizarre exchange earlier, was returning. Dean could sense you were tensing up and instinctively put a hand on your back to calm you.

“Hop on up.” Steve tells you. You take a seat on the chair, at this point holding your breath. “What are we getting done today.”

“This symbol.” Dean hands him a paper with the anti-possession symbol drawn on it. “It should be about this big.” He pulls down the collar of his shirt, revealing the one tatted on his chest.

“Listen, man, is this some cult thing? Because that’s not cool.” Steve says, moving back.

Dean rolls his eyes, “it’s not a cult thing, Steve, relax.”

“Looks like some kind of occult thing to me. I don’t mess with that weird religious mumbo jumbo.”

“It’s not religious and we’re not in a cult. It’s a family crest of sorts.”

“You have a weird family.” Steve tells him, but is mollified by this explanation.

“Tell me about it.” Dean says, repressing a laugh.

“Alright, where do you want it?” Steve asks, grabbing his tools.

“On my arm.” You roll up the sleeve of your t-shirt and indicate your upper arm.

You stop breathing as the needles make contact. Dean, no longer laughing at you, grabs your free hand in reassurance. After a minute you let yourself relax a little. It hurt, but wasn’t as awful as you were anticipating. You had definitely felt worse pain before.

“That wasn’t so bad.” You say after it’s all done.

“You didn’t even flinch.” Dean says, leaving the tattoo parlour, impressed. “I thought that would go a lot worse.”

“It’s more the anticipation, I think. I’m good with pain.”

“So I’ve noticed.”

“What do you mean?”

“Even after hunts where you’ve been thrown around, you’re not one to complain.”

“Yeah, definitely have a high pain tolerance. Also admitting to pain is a sign of weakness in my philosophy. Just suck it up is my motto.”

“I respect the hell out of that.”

“I know. That’s why we’re so messed up.”

Dean laughs. “What are you talking about? We’re delightful.” He holds open the passenger door of the Impala helping you in.

Back at the bunker, Sam was still searching, notes littered the table where he worked. “How’d it go?” he asks, looking up as you take a seat beside him.

“Not bad.” You tell him, glancing at the healing tattoo. “Barely felt it.”

“The guy definitely thought we were in a cult though.” Dean adds, coming in behind you and putting the pizza and cherry pie on the table.

“Men of Letters feels like a cult sometimes.” Sam says darkly.

“Well they do come in handy.” Dean says, looking at the books scattered on the desk. “Any luck with the lore?”

“Not really. There’s just so much to go through. But if it is biblical, I’m pretty sure the forbidden fruit is a good place to start.”

“So basically, we wait for Cas. Great.”

“Let me look.” You say, grabbing Sam’s notes and the pile of books on biblical lore.

“Can you eat something first?” Dean asks.

“Not hungry.” You tell him, already engrossed in reading.

Two hours later you still hadn’t made much progress but your head was definitely hurting. You close your eyes and lean back, thinking about all you knew so far. If it was the fruit, why would demons be interested. A weapon was your immediate thought. It was the only thing both heaven and hell would be chasing. You knew the story of the fruit involved Lucifer. It had the power to corrupt. Maybe the fruit wasn’t a one time thing? Maybe it still existed and could continue to be used by those looking to corrupt humans? You go to discuss this with Dean, only to find him asleep in a chair. “Dean, wake up.” You say, nudging him awake.

“I am up.” He says, rubbing his eyes. “Did you find anything?”

“Not really, but I was thinking, what if the fruit is some kind of weapon?’ As you explain your reasoning, Dean is contemplative.

“I think you might be on to something.” Dean says when you finish explaining. “Where’s Sam.”

“Out for a run. Said he needed to stretch.”

When Sam returns, you waste no time in telling him your theory. He too agrees there was merit to this. “It makes a lot of sense. It doesn’t explain why you and Dean are getting visions though.”

“No.” You agree, “we definitely need Cas to shed some light on that. Hopefully he’s more successful than we were today.”

“So we wait.” Dean says, getting up. “I’m going to call it a day. We’re not going to make much more progress tonight I think. Coming?” he adds, looking at you.

“Yeah I think so.” You say, stifling a yawn. “Good night, Sam. Get some sleep.”

“I will.” He assures you, but already pulling his notes from earlier towards him.

“How’s the arm?” Dean asks as you lay next to him in bed, both of you immediately half asleep.

“Not bad.”

“And you’re ok from that whole vision thing? I remember they can take their toll, back when Sammy was getting them.”

“I’m good. I almost wish it had been longer so we might have gotten some answers.”

“That’s visions for you, never the full picture. I’m sure Cas will have something to add.” He holds you closer as he falls asleep.

Chapter Text

Cas came back almost a week later. He arrived at the bunker looking exhausted, trench coat covered in blood. The bunker was empty when he arrived and so he called Dean. “I have answers.” He tells him not elaborating any further.

You, Sam, and Dean had taken a short trip to a local university to speak to a professor, a Dr. Eldon, an expert in Christian mythology. Posing as grad students from a different school, the three of you had sought out more information on the Garden of Eden and its infamous fruit. You were in the middle of the meeting when Cas called.

“I’m sorry professor, but we have to go. Academic emergency.” Dean says getting up. You and Sam look at him confused but follow his lead.

“Sorry for leaving so abruptly,” you tell him before you leave. “Thank you for speaking with us.”

“Can we contact you if we have any further questions?” Sam adds.

As you’re saying goodbye, Dean is already gone and far down the hall. You and Sam don’t see him until you’re back where the Impala is parked.

“What’s going on, Dean? Who was on the phone?” Sam asks.

“Cas is back at the bunker. He said to come back right away.”

With Dean driving, you’re back at the bunker in record time. The three of you find Cas slumped in a chair.

“Cas!” You call out, reaching him first. “Are you ok?” You’re shocked at the sight of the blood.

“I’m fine. It’s not mine.” He says, indicating the stains. “Another angel.”

“What happened?” Dean asks.

“I started asking around heaven about the visions, but no one had any answers. Or if they did, they were not keen to share with me. I spoke to an angel I knew many years ago; they told me something big was happening. The other angels, they know I’m friendly with you and are forbidden to speak to me.” He pauses, closing his eyes before opening them slowly. “There’s something Heaven wants and demons want it too. But there’s only one possible chance of retrieving it.”

“Retrieving what?” Sam asks.

“And why only one chance?” You ask.

“I don’t know. At this point, we were ambushed. The angel who confided in me was killed. I killed the two attacking us and only just managed to get away.”

“Could they be looking for some kind of weapon?” Dean asks. “We have a few theories ourselves.” And he explains the discussions you had while Cas was away.

“That makes sense. Even among angels, the fruit itself was a mystery. Only archangels or Lucifer really knew what happened.

“This one chance must have something to do with the two of you.” Sam adds, indicating you and Dean.

“Great. Another role in the God squad’s play. Because that always ends well.” Dean rolls his eyes. “But why you?” he asks, turning your way, “you have nothing to do with anything.”

“Why any of us?” You ask in return. “Guess we’re just lucky.”

“Least we have some idea of what’s coming.” Sam points out. “We can be prepared.”

“Good point. And speaking of, Cas, can you do the sigils now?” Dean interjects.

“Sigils?” you ask.

“Yeah. You’re protected from demon possession now but you’re still vulnerable to being found by angels. I think Cas ought to add sigils to your bones like he did for us.”

“Good idea.” You agree.

You stand facing Cas who puts his hand on your chest. “This may hurt a bit.” He warns. A searing pain spreads through your torso but ends as fast as it starts. “There. Now you can’t be found by angels.”

“Thanks Cas.” You tell him. “Does anyone think it’s weird that we haven’t run into any angels so far though?”

“A little. But from what I gathered; they were keeping an eye on you. I’m not sure why they stayed back. Perhaps they didn’t want to try and get you while you’re with the Winchesters. Or perhaps they need time or cooperation. It’s anyone’s guess.”

“We should have been more careful about hiding you from the start.” Dean says regretfully.

“Nothing happened though, so it’s not too late.” You say, mostly to him, in reassurance.

“Something did happen though. That demon found you.”

“Well, nothing particularly bad happened.”

“And we’re gonna keep it that way.”

“I’m going to contact some other hunters, ask them to keep an eye out for demon activity that may be more suspicious than usual.” Sam says. “Although there is someone that may by able to answer our questions more directly.”

“I hope you don’t mean Crowley?” Dean says. “There’s no way I’m getting that slimy bastard involved.”

“He may be useful.”

“We’re not that desperate yet. Besides, deals with Crowley always go bad. No, we’re gonna do this our way.”

“Alright.” Sam concedes.

“I need a break.” You say, “this has all been insane.” You get up and gather your things. “If you need me, I’ll be in my room trying to figure out how I ended up in this situation.” You were only half joking. “Come see me later.” You whisper to Dean as you pass him by. He nods in agreement.

You were exhausted from the day’s revelations. Being caught on the edge of something was more draining than being in the middle of an issue. Having scoffed at Dean’s nervousness for the past several months, you finally felt a twinge of fear and anticipation. Three angels had died protecting this secret that centered around you. For the first time the potential dangers of the situation were sinking in.

Head hurting, you lay in the dark, trying to relax. You weren’t sure when you fell asleep, but your dreams were filled with mysterious forests, glowing lights, and pursuits that would end with you waking up right before you died. You missed the days when your problems were mundane and centered around work or daily errands.

You’re only half awake when Dean comes to see you. You sit in bed, hugging your knees, as he sits across from you at the foot of the bed. “Are you doing ok?” he asks.

“I mean not really. I’m frustrated. And a little scared. Honestly, Dean, I don’t know how you’ve done it all these years. Everything you’ve been through, how are you not insane?”

“After a while it all just became normal, I guess, as messed up as that is. I’m also not as sane as I probably seem but I don’t have the time to give in to my feelings, you know? There’s always something to fight or fight for.”

“So, you just never get a break? Love that for you.”

“I mean you gotta have fun as you try not to die.” Dean laughs. “I’ve always had Sam. And Cas. Which helped.”

“And now me.” You tell him, reaching out to grab his hand.

“And now you.” He agrees with a smile. “Makes me feel luckier than I deserve to be. I hate how I met you, but, God, I’m glad I did.” He leans over, upping your face, and kissing you, his stubble prickling your skin.

“Me too.” You say with a smile as he pulls back.

“I’m going to make sure you get through this unharmed.” He promises you. “And you can live a normal life again…” He trails off at the end of the sentence, momentarily lost in thought. You knew exactly what he was thinking, you had been thinking it too.

As you learned more about why you were hear, it became easier to find a solution. And you knew that with Sam and Dean on your side, you would pull through the other side alive. What would happen then? You had been trying not to think about it. You could go back home, a small voice in your head whispers. Even thinking it made you sad, and you knew why. Still, it was too soon to think about this. It may not even be an issue in the end, what if you didn’t make it out alive? No point to that now. You needed to deal with one thing at a time.

That night, the four of you decide to pretend things were normal, as normal as they could be for the Winchesters and Cas. You had dinner together in front of the TV, watching Halloween. Cas saw it for the first time, adding an extra layer of enjoyability and Sam didn’t think horror movies made sense after Halloween. The night ended with you debating Dean about movie sequels. You firmly believed that most sequels were of inferior quality and a cash grab whereas he thought they could be better than the originals. Sam and Cas both kept out of the argument, despite both your and Dean’s attempts to pull them in for support. It only ended when you reluctantly agreed to watch all the sequels Dean felt you were missing out on with an open mind (you were not going to be open minded). Once that was settled, the two of you started fighting over what kind of horror movie was best: gore or psychological horror.

“Come on, it’s a movie, you wanna see stuff that’s scary.” Was Dean’s eloquent argument for slasher films.

“Look, I’m not saying they’re all bad, but sometimes you want to be scared mentally, not just through shock and awe.” You argued. “Plus, seeing blood and guts isn’t scary, it’s just gross.”

“Because hunting doesn’t provide enough mental thrills.” Dean snaps back.

“Not everyone was raised a hunter. Plus, your always cutting something up while hunting too.” You point out.

“Back me up here.” Dean says, turning to Sam.

“Remind me never to watch anything with you two again.” Sam tells him.

“As long as we agree the best horror is from the 80s, I’m fine.” Dean concedes.

“No arguments there.” You agree.

You slide closer to Dean, and he puts his arms around you. You settle into his arms, head on his chest. Sam watches from his chair on Dean’s left with a small smile. He couldn’t help but appreciate the way you had brought out the old Dean in his brother. It had been years since he had seen Dean allow himself to relax in the middle of trouble the way he was now. He also found it amusing the way you two fought so hard one second over the most obscure things and acted like you had never disagreed ever the next.

Sam and Cas both leave halfway through the second movie of the night. You’re unsure when Dean fell asleep, but when you noticed him fast asleep, still holding you, you allow sleep to take you over as well and close your eyes. You wake the next morning, laying on the couch, Dean’s head by your waist, legs hanging off the far end. Your stirring wakes Dean. Both of you regret where you slept last night, as you try to stretch your stiff bodies.
Sam comes in, sweaty and carrying a water bottle. “You guys are still here?” he asks.

“Yes, and I hate myself for it.” You tell him.

“I’m getting too old for this.” Dean groans.

“Yeah, you are.” Sam tells him, smirking.

“Hey, I can still kick your ass.” He tells Sam.

“Sure.” Sam says, laughing.

“While you two fight it out, I’m going to get dressed. I need to pick up a book nearby.” You tell them.

“A book?” Sam asks.

“Yeah, it seems promising. It’s 15th century book on biblical symbolism. I’m hoping it may have something in it that we’ve missed.”

“And the Men of Letters don’t have it?” Sam asks.

“Nope. I figured it’s good to add to the collection, even if it doesn’t help with this particular situation.”

“That’s a good point.” Dean agrees. “But please don’t go alone. I can come with you.”

“Since you asked so nicely, you can come. Be ready to go in twenty,” you tell him. You really were happy he was no longer trying to tell you what to do. Besides, you didn’t like to worry him. And truth be told, you were a little nervous about everything going on, despite what you told Dean and he could protect you better than anyone.

Half an hour later, you’re in the car with Dean, trying to drive as he makes you cry from laughing telling you about all the pranks he pulled on Sam as a kid.

“Watch it!” He says, chuckling, as the car swerves.

“It’s your fault.” You tell him, pulling the wheel straight again.

“So anyways, I don’t think he’s trusted anything I give him in a dark glass since.”

“Poor Sam. But also, that’s hilarious.”

“It’s our right to mess with them.”

“Damn right it is. We earned it.” Your smile fades a little as you’re suddenly lost in thought.

“Sorry.” Dean says, noticing the change.

“Nah, it’s fine. Just reminiscing a bit. I remember when my brother and I convinced my sister earwax was her brain falling out. She ended up crying. It was hilarious.”

“Did you ever pretend they were invisible?” Dean asks, laughing.

“Of course, that’s the most basic one, isn’t it?”

“We’re awful.” Dean says, still smiling.

“Hey, we took care of them, and they provided entertainment in return. It’s a fair exchange.”

“Good point.” Dean agrees.

The bookstore you drove to was located in a tiny plaza, more or less in the middle of nowhere. It was the only shop still in business and looked incredibly shabby. A bell above the door rang as you cautiously opened the door and stepped inside. It was cool and dark inside, and despite the bell, no one came to greet you. You and Dean stood around, looking at the shelves around you as you waited for someone to show. The shelves were filled with books about the occult and magic as well as various trinkets and objects of the same nature. A giant crystal ball stood in a place of honour behind the counter.

“Most of this looks like new age hippie junk.” Dean says, holding up a silver pendant.

“Ahem.” A strained voice says from behind you. Dean drops the pendant and you both turn around to see a small, thin woman with big curly hair watching you, not happy after Dean’s comments.

“Hi.” You say. “I called in earlier about the book.”

“The manuscript on the Bible?”

“That’s the one.”

“One moment.” She disappears in the back, returning shortly with an old leather-bound volume. “Here you are.” She hands you the book. It’s heavier than you were expecting it to be. “Anything else I can help you with?” she asks, tone still displeased.

“Yeah, how much for that crystal ball?” Dean asks, joking.

“It’s not for sale.” She says tersely, not missing his tone.

“Don’t tell me, you’re a psychic.” Dean says with fake enthusiasm.

“I do have some gifts.” She tells him. “Incidentally, there is a dark aura around the both of you. Something is hunting you.”

Dean stops smiling. “What’s that supposed to mean?” he asks, defensive.

“It means what I said. Now if you don’t need anything else, I’m afraid shop’s closed.”

As you make your way back to the car, you turn to Dean, perplexed, “what do you think that was about?”

“Probably a load of crap.” He says, though his tone suggests he is still bothered by what she said.

“So, you think she was just making it up?” Something about the way she spoke made you want to believe her.

“I’m not sure. Real psychics are rare. Besides, we already know demons are looking for us. Doesn’t tell us much even if she is telling the truth.”

“I suppose.” You still felt uneasy.

You’re still lost in thought driving home, Dean is equally quiet. You happen to glance in the rear-view mirror for a quick second just as it happens: a man appears in the back seat. “Oh my God!” you shout in surprise. The car
swerves left then right before stopping in the middle of the road as Dean also reacts in shock.

“Relax. I come in peace.” A man with a British accent tells you.

“Crowley?” Dean asks, anger in his voice. “How the hell did you find us?”

“You’re being tracked.” He says and leans down to pull out a hex bag from under the passenger seat. “I’ll get rid of this, shall I?” He asks, holding it up. When neither you nor Dean respond immediately, he gets a little annoyed.
“Meet me back at the bunker.” He disappears, taking the hex bag with him.

“That was Crowley?” You ask, finding your voice again.

“Yup.” Dean replies, “And if he’s involved, it’s not good news.” Dean sounded incredibly annoyed, but you were a little curious to see what Crowley wanted.

When you arrived at the bunker, he’s waiting outside by the door, a small smouldering lump by his feet where he burned the hex bag.

“So, kind of you to show up.” He says sarcastically. “May I?” He asks, indicating your car that was parked nearby. You nod in agreement, and he opens your dash, pulling out a small scarlet pouch. Another hex bag. “You’re welcome.” He tells you as it goes up in flames.

“What do you want, Crowley?” Dean asks.

“You know, you’re very unfriendly for someone whose amateur ass I just saved. You were being tracked by that demon.”

“How did you know about that demon?” You ask him.

“King of hell, darling. I know everything.”

“Well then, what do you know about the demon?” Dean asks.

“Her name is Sahana. She’s very old and very powerful. An old Lucifer loyalist.”

“What does she want with me?”

“She needs you to find something for her. Both of you. You’re her personal retriever dogs.”

“Shut up.” You and Dean tell him in unison.

“A match made in heaven.” He says smirking. “I’ve told you all I know. Whatever it is she’s looking for is designed by Lucifer himself. Find it before she finds you.”

“Why are you being so helpful?” Dean asks.

“Because, you idiot, a powerful weapon in the hands of a Satan fanatic is not good news for me.” He says aggressively before disappearing into thin air.

Back inside the bunker, Dean wastes no time telling Sam the encounter with Crowley.

“I told you he’d know.” Sam tells him.

“I never disagreed with you on that. I don’t buy that his only angle is wanting to keep it away from other demons. He’s going to want whatever it is that we’re supposed to find.”

“We’ll deal with that problem when we get to it.”

“Fine.” Dean agrees, sounding a little exhausted. “Let’s see if that comes in handy.” He says, indicating the book you were holding.

Chapter Text

You spend the next few hours reading or attempting to read the book. The writing was small and the font difficult to read. By the seventh hour, your eyes were hurting from staring at the page. “I hate this.” You tell Dean, throwing down you pen and leaning back. “Who writes like this?”

“Wanna call it a day?” Dean asks, laughing.

“No, not really. I want answers. I think we need a new approach.” You start leafing through the pages, skimming for any words or images that jump out at you.

“Hey that image comes up a lot.” Dean says, stopping you about halfway through the book. He points out an image of small red circles. “What are those? Rubies?”

“I’m not sure.” You say, peering closer. The image was fairly tiny and easy to miss but featured in the margins of nearly every page. You look through the margins again, this time more closely. “Look at that,” you say to Dean, indicating another image with tiny red dots but this time within a larger circle, “Does that look like the same thing?”

“Yeah, it does.” He agrees.

“Weird. I wonder what that means or what it’s supposed to be.” You continue look through the pages, noting the image repeats. About three quarters of the way through, you stop. It was the same image but taking up a whole page. This time, its size made it possible to see the image more clearly. It wasn’t a circle, and the red dots weren’t jewels. It was a pomegranate. The red of the seeds seemed to glitter on the page, despite the age of the paint.

“The fruit?” Dean asks, saying aloud the thought that was forming in your mind.

“It would make sense.” You say, pulling the book closer and working on deciphering the text. “It seems this guy believes the fruit was a pomegranate. Which may make sense because Cas said it wasn’t an apple. He also believes
the fruit didn’t stay in the garden. According to this, the seeds of the fruit were brought to Earth and ‘grew anew here.’”

“If it’s some fruit why can’t they just pick it?” Dean asks.

“I don’t know. Maybe it’s not the fruit. Maybe it’s something else.”

“Or maybe it’s not so literal. Let’s see what Sam and Cas have to say tomorrow.”

The next morning, Dean sees Sam in the kitchen at breakfast and updates him on what you learned from the book. “So, I was thinking we do some more research tonight. And, as much as I hate to involve him, ask Crowley what he might know.”

“Sure. That’s a good plan. Let’s start tomorrow.” Sam tells him.

“Tomorrow?” Dean asks, incredulous. “Why? Is there somewhere you have to be today?”

“Uh, yeah kind of.” Sam says, evasive.

“What in the world can be more important than this right now?” Dean asks.

“It’s Valentine’s day, Dean.”

“What? No, it’s not.”

“Yeah. It is. And I have plans.”

“Plans? With who?”

“Don’t worry about what I’m doing, worry about what you’re doing. Gonna have to try harder than being “Mr. Right Now” this year.” And with this he walks away, leaving Dean deep in thought.

You wake up in the early afternoon, still a little tired but more rested than before. You hadn’t intended to sleep in so late, but the bed was comfortable and your head still hurt. After getting dressed, you go to grab food, noticing the bunker was empty. Cas was away again, and you had no idea where Sam and Dean were.

Having nothing else to do, you go back to the library where you had left your scattered notes from last night and continue to take down any information you can. You’d been working for over an hour when Sam and Dean come home. Sam finds you first.

“Hey,” you say upon seeing him, “where’s Dean?”

“Right behind me.”

“Cool. Where’d you guys go?” You turn your attention back to your work.

“No where, just running some errands.”

“Ok then.”

“Listen, can I ask you something?”

“Of course.”

“I’m going on a date tonight. Can I borrow your car? I’d ask Dean but he says he might need the Impala.”

You turn to look at him directly, intrigued. “On a date? With who?” you ask.

“Eileen.” Sam says, with a nervous smile and flushing a little red.

“Oh my God! I didn’t know you two were seeing each other.”

“It’s our first date. We’re just trying it out and seeing how it goes.”

“That’s awesome! I’m so happy for both of you!” You say, beaming.

“Please don’t tell Dean though. He’ll make it weird. Plus, I don’t even know if this will work out.”

“You are both ridiculous about this stuff,” you tell Sam, thinking back to how Dean acted when telling Sam about your relationship, “but I won’t say anything.

“Thanks.”

“And yeah, you’re cool to take the car. I don’t think I’m going out tonight anyway.”

“Thanks again. I owe you one.” He tells you, patting you shoulder as he leaves.

Dean wastes no time bringing Sam up when he sees you. “Can you believe he’s going on a date? Tonight? And he won’t even tell me who it is.”

“It’s a free country, Dean.”

“Yeah, alright but we’re in a middle of something important. I mean, I know it’s Valentine’s day…”

“It’s Valentine’s?” You ask, surprised. You had lost track of time.

“Yeah. Happy Valentine’s day.” He says, kissing you. “He won’t even tell me who he’s seeing tonight.”

“I think that’s your real issue.” You tell Dean, laughing.

“Probably.” He agrees, with a small chuckle. “He didn’t tell you, did he?”

“Nope.” You say, nonchalant.

“So, anyway, what are you doing tonight?”

“I’m busy.”

“Busy?”

“Yeah, I’m seeing this guy. He’s pretty cool. You’d like him.”

Dean laughs, “But seriously, put this away for tonight.” He says, indicating your notes.

“Fine.” You agree.

“So, listen, in an ideal world, I’d take you out. I mean Valentine’s day is my specialty.” He says with a wink. “But under the present circumstances, I’m going to be looking over my shoulder the whole time. Are you ok with staying in for the night?”

“I’m good with anything.” You assure him.

That evening, Dean brings you down to the kitchen to kick off the night. You see ingredients laid out all over the counter. “I’m making you dinner!” He announces, “Live and in person, like a hibachi.”

You nearly double over with laughter. “A hibachi?” You ask.

“Don’t laugh.” Dean tells you sternly. “We’re improvising.”

“Hey, I’m not going to complain about an attractive guy cooking dinner for me.” You say, wiping tears from your eyes. “But this is one hell of an improvisation.”

“Just sit down.” He tells you.

“Yes sir.” You say, taking a seat.

He pours you a large drink and places it in front of you. “While you wait for the food.”

“Are you trying to get me drunk, Winchester?”

“Please, you can handle it.” He grabs one for himself too.

As he begins prepping dinner, he walks you through what he’s making and the best way to cook it. Everything he’s making is your favourite, even if it wasn’t before tonight.
Halfway through cooking, perhaps with a little bit of the alcohol had started taking effect, Dean suddenly changed the conversation. “I’m sorry.” He said.

“For what?” You ask, confused.

“You’ve probably had better dates.”

You close your eyes and let out a small sigh. “Not really.”

“You don’t have to pretend.”

“I’m not.”

Dean looks at you with scepticism.

“I’m serious. I guess I might as well tell you. I was in a long-term relationship. For six years.”

He puts down the knife he’s using. “What? You never told me.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve been trying to forget.”

“Were you together when we met?” Dean asks, a tiny stab of fear in his heart.

“No. I’d ended it a few months before.”

Dean breathes a sigh of relief. “What happened?”

“Short version? He was an asshole. It just took me a long time to see it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Yeah, so was I.”

“What made you realize?”

“Oh, it was stupid little things. I kind of knew for a while, but one day he spoke to me in a way that felt disrespectful. It was so subtle, but it made me think this isn’t for me. So, I left him.” You take a big sip of your drink. “And then the way he responded made it clear I did the right thing.”

“Did he hurt you?” Dean asks, pausing again, a hint of anger in his voice.

“No. I’d have liked to see him try. He just threw a tantrum like an absolute child.”

“Good.” Dean says with a smile.

“But it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done. Even if I knew it was right and I had everyone supporting me. It’s why I was back living with my family.”

“I’m glad you had support.”

“I had some really good friends. I’ve been very lucky.”

“And I took that away from you.”

“My luck with friends carried over. I’m so glad to have met everyone here. Especially you.” You wink at him suggestively, making him laugh. “But anyway, point is, it’s actually the best Valentine’s date I’ve been on in ages. The
previous guy barely remembered my birthday.”

“And you stayed with him for six years?”

“I was stupid. And younger. And loyal.”

“He sounds like an idiot. You’re awesome.”

“Thanks, Dean.”

Dean smiles at you. “Now watch this.” He says, as he flambés the pan. “Like a professional, right?”

“Very much so.” You agree with a laugh.

As he gets done cooking Dean leads you over to the table laid with a white linen cloth, a single rose, and some candles. “Very romantic.” You tell him approvingly.

“Hold on, I forgot the wine.” He returns with a bottle and pours some out for both of you.

“Thank you. It all looks so good. I’m starving.”

“Me too.” He tells you but waits for you to take the first bite.

“You should have been a chef. Your skills are wasted as a hunter.” You tell him approvingly. Satisfied, he digs in.

As you finish dinner, your brain starts going a little fuzzy. All the drinks you had had were taking affect. “What’s for dessert?” You ask Dean.

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“We’re going out for dessert.”

“Good idea!” You say, standing up too fast and swaying a little.

“Careful.” Dean tells you, steadying you.

“I’m fine.” You tell him, waving him off.

“Bit of a lightweight?” He asks smirking.

“Please, I’m just smaller than you.”

“No need to be ashamed of not being a functional alcoholic.” He tells you, laughing. He offers his arm, and you take it, using Dean to walk straight.

“Wait a minute, what about the grave danger we’re in?” You ask Dean, eyes wide.

“I think we can risk it for a half hour.” He assures you. “Maybe have some water.”

“I’m fine. Trust me.”

Dean raises and eyebrow but doesn’t say anything. He was hoping the cool night air would sober you up a little. And he was right. You were barely outside for a few minutes before your head starts to clear a bit.

The two of you visit a nearby diner. Dean orders a cherry pie, and you ask for strawberry. After you’re done eating, Dean pays for the pies and you both walk to the Impala together. You wait on the passenger side for Dean to open the door, but he doesn’t. “I think I forgot my keys in the diner. I’ll be right back.”

“I’ll be here.” You tell him, wrapping your arms around you to keep warm, wishing you had worn a coat. Your buzz was wearing off a little, but you still felt a little lightheaded. You’re too distracted by these things to notice the black cloud forming above. Even if you had noticed, it would have been useless. Everything happened within seconds. The dark smoke surrounds you, blacking out your vision. You barely have a chance to breath before you feel the atmosphere change. It suddenly felt damp and humid, not cold and dry. Your surroundings were still pitch black, but you were no longer standing. You were laying strapped into a table.

Dean walks out of the diner, and fear grips his heart like a vice. You were gone.

Chapter Text

Black. It was all you could see even with your eyes wide open. The darkness was suffocating, making you feel claustrophobic the way it pressed down on you; you may as well be buried alive. But you knew you were in a room large enough for a table. The rough metal of the surface prickled your skin and the iron cuffs at your neck, wrists and ankles left bruises as you strained to free yourself. A strip of leather was gagging your voice, leaving you unable to scream. Someone had removed most of your clothes, leaving you feeling vulnerable and exposed. You pushed down the panic that was rising in your chest to let yourself think. What could you remember? The Impala. The cold. The black smoke. It must be the demon. You struggled to remember her name for a minute before it came to you: Sahana.

You stop struggling and try to think of ways to get out of here, even though your instincts told you it was impossible. You try to slide your hand out of the cuffs but stop when the pain becomes too much. Your body goes limp in defeat as your mind finally accepts that there was no escape. You try to think why you were taken. You were still alive, so they didn’t want to kill you. Yet. The thought of dying here alone where no one would even know to find your body gripped your heart with fear. Dean. He would find you. You had to believe that. You knew he wouldn’t rest until he did. Him and Sam could find you. Cas. You try praying for him. But you knew it wouldn’t be that easy. The demons must have warded this place against angels. There was nothing else to it. You close your eyes and steel yourself for whatever the demon had in store for you. You had to hold on long enough for Dean to find you.

Dean drove home nearly blind with distraction. He called Sam five times before he answered, “Meet me at the bunker immediately. She’s gone. I think it was demons.” Was all he said before hanging up. Dean’s eyes went moist with panic and fear, but he pushed down the feelings. He had to keep it together. When Dean arrives at the bunker, he immediately starts gathering ingredients for a summoning spell. He needed to talk to Crowley.

Sam and Eileen both arrive at the bunker about thirty minutes after Dean and find him nearly set up to do the spell. “What happened?” Sam asked him.

“We went out. Not even for an hour.” He forces himself to get the words out. “I left my keys inside and went in to get them. By the time I came out she was gone.”

“How did they even find you? I thought Crowley got rid of the trackers on you.”

“That’s what I’d like to know.” Dean says, beginning the spell.

Crowley appears on the devil’s trap Dean had draw where he did his spell work, looking supremely annoyed. “Now that’s just poor hospitality.” He tells Dean, glancing at the trap.

“Shut up.” Dean tells him. “Where did they take her?”

“Take who?” Then realization dawns on him. “Don’t tell me, you lost your girlfriend?”

“I swear to God, one more line from you and I’ll kill you right here. Where did they take her?”

“What makes you think I know?” Crowley asks, angered by Dean’s threat.

“You know.” Dean tells him firmly.

“I know who took her. I don’t know where. In case you don’t remember, they’re not working on my orders.”

“Find out for us.” Sam tells him.

“Why would I do that? You trap me and threaten to kill me.”

“Because you know you want us to. Don’t pretend that it isn’t in your interest.”

“Fine. But first, you let me out of here.” Sam looks at Dean who reluctantly scrapes some paint to break the trap. “Much better.” Crowley says, smiling. He takes a paper and pen off a nearby table and writes a list of ingredients.

“Get me these.” He holds out the paper to Dean who still looks like he’d like to kill Crowley. Sam grabs it from him before Dean can react.

“I’ll be right back.” He tells him, glancing at the list. “We should have all this.”

Crowley takes a seat, acting very casual and cheery. His attitude was not helping Dean calm down. He stood leaning against the wall in a nearby corner, glaring at Crowley. He knew it wasn’t Crowley that took her, but it was
demons, just like Crowley.

Eileen walks to Dean and rubs his arm. “We’ll find her.” She assures him. Dean is pulled out of his reverie for a minute and takes a deep breath for the first time since he came out the diner. He nods at Eileen, still unable to talk.

Sam returns within ten minutes. “Here.” He tells Crowley.

Crowley starts the spell. Once he is done with the incantation, he lights the map Sam gave him on fire. Within a minute the entire map has burned to ash.

“What did that tell us?” Dean asks, confused.

“It told us that this isn’t going to be as easy as hoped.” Crowley tells him, a thoughtful look on his face.

“Or your spell was crap.” Dean says.

“There is nothing wrong with the spell.” Crowley tells him, angrily.

“It’s true. I saw Ruby do it once. It should have worked.” Sam tells Dean.

“Great. That’s super helpful to know. What do we do now?”

“I know one person who might know something that can work around whatever magic the demon is working: Rowena.” Sam suggests.

“If you get her involved, I’m out.” Crowley warns.

“No, you’re not.” Dean tells him. “And unless you have a better idea, Rowena it is.”

“I’ll call her.” Sam says.

***Something stirs in the air, immediately alerting you. After the stillness of the past hour, even the figure’s slightest movement, no matter how discreet, is a glaring change. You still cannot see. Whoever it is did not need to open a door to come in. You try to steady your breathing, trying not to give away the fear you felt, but in the heavy silence, it seemed like every beat of your heart made noise. You close your eyes and picture yourself away from here. You think of Dean, and it helps you calm a little. He would come, you knew it; you just had to hold on.

“He can’t find you here, sweetie.” A woman’s voice tells you, as if it had read your thoughts. “You’re well and truly alone with me.” A cold hand caresses the length of your body, sliding up from your leg to your chest, and rest near your neck. Goosebumps prickle up all over your body, both from fear and the cold touch of her hand. You keep your eyes closed. You feel hot breath on your face as she leans over, bringing her face close to yours. Without warning, something sharp runs the length of your torso, piercing your skin, leaving a gash that burns. The sudden pain you scream into the gag in your mouth. ***

Rowena takes nearly two hours to arrive. Dean spends most of this time pacing aimlessly around the bunker, Crowley helps himself to some whiskey, and Sam and Eileen sit in a corner, talking quietly.

“Hello boys.” Rowena calls in her sing-song voice as she descends the stairs. “I heard you were having some trouble finding someone. Fergus. Good to see you.”

“Drop the act.” Crowley tells her.

“Fine. Straight to work then.” She says, reading the tense atmosphere in the room, and begins pulling ingredients out of her bag. “I’ll need something belonging to the girl.” She tells Dean.

Dean brings her one of your t-shirts from his room. “Will this do?”

“Perfectly.” She cuts off a patch. “Can I just say, how sorry I am to hear about this situation.”

“It’s not like you to care.” Dean tells her.

“No, it’s not.” She agrees, “But it’s kind of nice seeing the Winchesters turn domestic.” She eyes Eileen and Sam.

Dean follows her gaze and realizes for the first time tonight that Eileen must have been Sam’s date. The information barely interests him now. “The spell. Please.” He says, sounding defeated.

Rowena throws the final ingredient into her chalice and reads the incantation. Bright purple flames appear, lighting up the dim room. She throws in another map and waits for the fire to burn out.

***The voice laughs with glee as you scream. You force yourself to stop and calm down, not wanting to give her the satisfaction. “Oh honey, that’s just the beginning. I’ve got so much more planned.” Something cold and sharp traces a line down your body parallel to the cut already made. This time it felt like a blade, but luckily it doesn’t cut. You hold your breath in anticipation, but nothing happens. For now.

Just as relief washes over you, something cuts the length of your left arm. You scream again but are able to calm down faster. You could feel the blood dripping out of your arm. Were you going to bleed to death? However, the cut doesn’t feel that deep and the blood doesn’t flow out for long. Whoever it was wasn’t trying to kill you yet.

A hand caresses your hair, stroking you. You knew she was toying with you now. “Poor thing. It must be so scared. So dark in here, it’s spooky.” She grabs your face, “maybe you’ll feel better if you can see.” Suddenly a fire lights up in a grate on the side of the room somewhere behind your head. You can’t see it directly but see the glow it casts. The room is small, narrow, and windowless You can’t make out any doors. Your eyes strain to adjust to the sudden light and to see your surroundings. You couldn’t see whoever was in the room with you, she was standing by the fire, above your head. You look at the walls and ceilings instead, trying to find a potential way out. But the walls, although derelict, looked strong. “There’s no way out.” She tells you, once again reading your mind. “It’s just you and me.” She walks slowly into view. Her angular face looking more jarring that ever in the shadows cast by the flickering fire. You glare at her, refusing to let the fear show on your face. She removes the strap of leather from your mouth, letting you speak for the first time.

“What do you want?” You ask her.

She just smirks and walks around to your other side, admiring her work. Your eyes follow along with hers, tracing the long bleeding wound.

“I’m going to kill you.” You warn her, anger coursing through you.

“And how will you do that? You can’t even scratch your own nose.”

“When I get out, I promise you, you’ll regret this.”

She laughs loudly, making your ears ring. “Or I just kill you.”

“Nah. If you wanted to, you would have by now. You need me. It’ll be a fatal mistake keeping me alive, I promise.”

Some of the mirth slides off her face, being replaced with annoyance. “Let’s see how chatty you feel after this.” She whispers by your ear as she cuts your cheek. A searing pain spreads across your face.

You want to scream but force yourself to laugh instead. “Is that all you’ve got?”

She cuts the other side of your face. This time you were expecting it and barely flinch, forcing your body to stay still as your heart beats the fastest it ever has. You smile at her, “is that all?” You can see the anger in her face and brace yourself and she continues to make tiny cuts along your body.***

The map burns slowly this time, giving Dean hope that this spell would work. Minutes later, when the fire had burnt out, Rowena fished a scrap of paper from the chalice. “Here you are.” She says, handing it over to Dean. It was an intersection but there was no indication of where it might be.

“What am I supposed to do with just this?” Dean asks.

“It’s what the spell gave us. The rest is up to you. You’re welcome.” Rowena tells him, washing her hands of further involvement.

“Here. Let me take a look.” Sam says quickly, grabbing the scrap of map from Dean’s hand. He knew under normal circumstances this would be enough for Dean but right now he wasn’t thinking straight. Sam grabs his computer and begins searching online. “It’s either California or New York.” He says.

“You head to New York and I’ll go to California.” Dean tells him, getting ready to head out.

“Wait.” Eileen tells him. She was looking intently at the paper. “Look at this.” Along the charred edge, she points out a cut off letter, larger than the name of the street. It looked like half an A.

Dean looks over her shoulder. “California?” he asks.

“It makes sense.” Sam says.

“Thank you.” Dean tells Eileen, giving her a hug. “Now Sam, let’s go.”

“I’ll come with you.” Eileen tells them.

“No. We need you to stay here. Let Cas know what’s happened when he returns.” Sam tells her. “We’ll be fine. I promise.”

“Message me if you need anything.” She tells Sam.

“Are you coming?” Dean asks Crowley.

“Of course not. This is your fight. Oh, and Dean, try not to get caught.” He says before disappearing.

Dean leaves a note for Cas with Eileen before leaving the bunker, following Sam.

Chapter Text

***You lay on the table, eyes half closed. You could feel the blood running down the length of your body, small streams diverting when they were blocked by the ones that were already dried and brown. The rest of your body was covered in sweat, as the fire made the already warm room unbearably hot. Your breathing was shallow, and you longed for it to end. And you couldn’t admit it to yourself yet, but you were losing hope that anyone would ever find you. But you couldn’t give in. You couldn’t give the demon the satisfaction. So, you smile at her as she looks intently into your face, hoping to see defeat. You pay for your refusal immediately, as she grabs your arm, breaking it in her grip. Now you really do cry out in pain. Satisfied, she lets go.***

The landscape blurs past as Dean drives fast and reckless, even for him. Sam was used to his driving, but tonight even he was concerned. He offered to drive instead, but Dean ignored him. Every second he wasted was the second he could lose you. Dean was scared. But the fear wasn’t new. He’d lost track of how many times he had raced to save Sam alone, let alone others. But while it felt like his world was ending when Sam went missing, he had the small confidence knowing that Sam had grown up a hunter. He had the skill and knowledge to keep him safe enough until he found him. But you hadn’t grown up this way, and while he knew you were strong, the risk of losing you felt much higher. As day breaks, Sam forces Dean to let him drive, arguing that he needed rest, and he would be of no use if he couldn’t function.

It’s evening again by the time they reach California. As they stop for gas, Sam calls Eileen. “Any sign of Cas?” He asks her. His face tells Dean there was not. “Ok, thanks for keeping an eye out. Call me when he gets back.”
“Where is Cas?” Dean asks, frustrated. “I’ve prayed to him a million times.”

“Do you think he got caught? Could he be in trouble?”

“No.” Dean says, trying to convince himself more than anyone else, “he’s alright.” He couldn’t think of losing Cas as well at the moment. Hanging up the nozzle, he gets into the driver’s seat.

It takes the Winchesters another four hours to find your exact location. As they come close, Dean’s heart sinks. There was nothing here. No building, not even a shed. He and Sam get out of the car and look around, hoping to find some semblance of human, or demon, activity.

“Did we get the wrong state?” Dean asks, his voice hoarse.

“I don’t know.” Sam replies.

They begin to search the empty fields around them for any clue when Sam’s phone rings. “Eileen, hi.” He says. “Hold on, I’m putting you on speaker.” He brings the phone closer to Dean.

“He was here.” She tells them. “Cas. He’s on his way.” The words are barely out of her mouth when Cas appears.

“Dean.” He says, from behind them.

“Cas! Where were you?” Dean asks, a little angry.

“In Jerusalem. What happened?”

“They took her.” Dean tells him, voice choking. “Demons. We used a spell to track her down. It was either here or New York. Can you take me with you to New York?”

“There’s no need.” Cas tells him. “She’s here.”

“Here? There’s nothing here.”

“There must be. I can feel the warding. I can’t get in.”

“Check for vents or a cellar door.” Sam says. “Maybe she’s underground.”

The three waste no time, combing the area for any vent or access point.

“Check there.” Cas says. I can’t go much further that way.

He was right. There’s a small metal doorway, barely large enough for a person.

***You hear a distant metallic sound. It’s muffled and barely audible, but it is the first sound from outside the room. The demon stiffens, further proof that you weren’t hallucinating. You smile softly. It was almost over. She quickly reverts to herself. “Looks like your pet Winchester is here.” She says.

“Are you ok with that witless retort being your final words?”

“Are you ok with that being yours?” She asks, bringing her knife to your throat.

“Please. We both know you won’t kill me. Stop embarrassing yourself.”

“You’re right, but I can hurt you a little.” She says, cutting your neck but not enough to do fatal damage. “And I can blind you.” She says, scraping her knife over your eyelid. “Or cut out your tongue.” You brace yourself for her next
assault on your face but without warning, she breaks your ribs instead, making you scream.***

Sam and Dean hear a distant scream from somewhere below them as they climb down the ladder leading to a passage below. Dean jumps down the last few rungs of the ladder and leads the way down the darkened hallway. The sounds had stopped now, making it more difficult find a way through the dark hallways. The space looked to be some kind of underground bunker or fallout shelter, perhaps belonging to a house that had long since been demolished. As Sam and Dean made their way deeper into the structure, a new clue became their guide: heat. Although underground, the place was increasingly hot as they made their way in. The trail ends at what seems to be a dead end. The brick wall looms up in front of them. It’s hot to the touch.

Sam notices a small crevice where the walls meet and slips between to investigate. Noticing a round vent on the top of the wall, he calls for Dean. “Is that what I think it is?” He asks, pointing to the metal shield that covered the opening. In between, there was a hint of light.

“The door must be bricked up.” Dean says, running his hand along the wall. “Here. The bricks feel different here.” He says, reaching a spot in the middle of the hallway they had come down. “Pass me a hammer.”

On the other side of the wall, you breathe a sigh of relief. Dean was here. You hear loud bangs against the wall for a while before the noise stops. You smile to yourself.

As Sam and Dean chip away the bricks, a metal door comes to view. When they hole in the wall is large enough, Dean kicks open the door and his heart skips a beat seeing your still body on a rusty metal table, now soaked in blood. The demon looks at him and smiles. Before he can move, Sam runs in past him to try and catch her, but she disappears. Dean comes to his senses again and rushes towards you and checks for signs of life.
“Dean.” You whisper, barely audible. With the coming of relief knowing you were rescued went away your ability to withstand the pain. The full extent of your injuries finally hit you all at once, and you were fighting to stay conscious. You stay awake long enough for Sam and Dean to pick the locks and free you. Dean puts your unbroken arm around his shoulder and picks you up, cradling your body close to him, but holding you as lightly as possible to avoid hurting you further without knowing the extent of your injuries. The air outside the room, although still warm, hits you like a blast of air conditioning and you find yourself blacking out, finally succumbing to the pain.

When you wake, you can’t tell how much time has passed or where you are. The room is dark, and for a second you panic thinking you’re back on the table. But then you feel something much softer below you and you’re free to move. You’re also in less pain and your bones no longer feel broken. As you stir, see Dean standing by a door, gun in hand. Your movement catches his attention, and he rushes over to you.

“Hey.” He says softly, cradling your head and helping you sit up. “How are you feeling?”

“Better. I think.” You tell him. “Thank you for coming. I’m not sure how much longer I could have held on.”

A flash of pain crosses Dean’s face as he pulls you close, “Of course I came.”

“My bones don’t feel broken anymore.” You tell him.

“Yeah, that was Cas. He’ll be back and continue to heal you.”

“Where is he? And Sam? I thought I saw him.”

“You did. They both went after the demon.”

“Is she still here?” You ask, a little panic trickling back in at the thought.

“She’s around. Cas thought he could track her, so he and Sam went to find her.”

“Good.” You say, still feeling lightheaded and closing your eyes.

“You need water.” Dean tells you. “Here.” He grabs a water bottle from a table by the bed and helps you drink. You drink nearly all of it, not realizing how dehydrated you were. “Now get some rest.” He tells you.

You lay back down, noticing that your pillow consisted of Dean’s leather jacket. You found the familiar leather very comforting, more proof that you were safe. You close your eyes, this time falling asleep, not unconscious.

You awake again hours later. This time it’s daybreak. Weak sunlight pours through the boarded windows, illuminating your surroundings. It looked like you were in an abandoned house. The wallpaper on the walls was grimy and peeling. The windowsill was peeling and rotting. Everything seemed to be covered in a layer of grey dust. You were laying on an old mattress, likely abandoned with the house. Normally you would even refuse to touch it, but right now it felt like the most comfortable bed in the world. You were still missing your clothes but were covered by Cas’s coat.

More noises from a room next door bring your attention back to what woke you in the first place. It sounded like someone was struggling. Your heart beats a little faster and you decide to see what was happening. You get up
gingerly, feeling the scars along your body. You knew Cas’s magic had filled the wounds much faster than normal, but the scars remained. Your clothes were still missing so you wrap yourself in Cas’s coat.

The sight in the next room nearly makes you faint. The demon sat in the chair in the middle of the room, cuffed down and a demon trap drawn on the floor. You arrive just in time to see Sam throw holy water in her face, making her burn. She screams as the water touches her. She notices you before any of the others, and her expression changes immediately to mirth. The guys turn to look at where she was looking and see you standing in the doorway. Dean quickly blocks you from her view and vice versa. “You’re up.” He says. “I didn’t want to take you earlier.”

“You should have told me you found her.”

“I was going to.”

“Has she said anything?”

“Not much yet. We only just started.”

“Ok. Just promise me you’ll give me a turn. I owe the bitch.”

Dean is a little taken aback by the anger in your tone but agrees. “Eat something first.” He tells you, guiding you back to the room you woke in. On the table sat a takeout bag you hadn’t noticed before. Dean sits you down and begins taking food out of the bad.

“Stay with me.” You tell him. He sits down and watches you eat, or rather pick at, your food. You weren’t very hungry.

“I’m sorry.” He tells you after a few minutes of silence. “I shouldn’t have left you alone.”

“You’ve got to stop apologizing for things that aren’t your fault.” You tell him, moving your sandwich towards him. “Besides, I owe you a thank you. For finding me and saving me.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” He tells you sternly.

“Then you don’t need to apologize.”

“Fine.” He says, pretending to agree. He helps himself to the food you offer him. A little satisfied by this conversation, you help yourself to some chips. Dean smiles at you and everything feels ok again, despite where you were or how your body looked or the sounds coming from the demon in the next room.

Around mid day Dean goes back to join Sam and Cas. You decide to stay back. You knew you wouldn’t be able to get any information out of her, not with how much you wanted revenge. You also didn’t care to know what she knew right this moment.

That evening, Sam comes to see you. “We’ve got what we can from her. Do you want to do the honours?” He offers you the demon killing knife.

“Thanks.” You tell him, grabbing it and walking to the demon. She looks dishevelled and worn in her chair, but still managed to leer at you as you came in. “I have one question for you. Why?” You ask her.

“Why did I torture you? Because it was fun.” She tells you with a smirk. “I just needed to hold you.”

“Well, that didn’t work out so well, did it?”

“You got lucky.”

“Or you’re just sloppy. Now, I told you I would kill you. I keep my promises.”

“Do it then.” She tells you.

“Not that fast. I haven’t had my fun yet.” You circle to the back of her chair, and make deep gnashes on her chest and neck, splashing holy water on the wounds as you go. The demon screams in pain, bringing you some satisfaction. You keep going, cutting her all over like she cut you.

You carry on for half an hour, stopping when she can no longer look up. Her hair covers her hung head. You crouch down in front of her. “Look at me, bitch.” You tell her. When she doesn’t respond, you grab her head, forcing it upwards until she makes eye contact with you. “Ready?” You ask her, and without waiting for a reply, plunge the knife into her chest.

You take a deep breath and remove the knife from her chest, wiping it down before handing it back to Sam. All three of them are looking at you in concern.

“Thanks.” He tells you, a little cautiously. “That was…”

“A little concerning.” Dean finishes for him. “Are you ok?”

“I am now. Besides, I was just repaying her the favour. Now, can we go home?”

Chapter Text

You and Dean sit in the back as Sam drives the last few hours home. You’re leaning onto him, and he has his arm around you, head leaning back, eyes closed, as he tries to get some sleep. You knew the demon had revealed some secrets before you killed her, but you were too tired to ask what she had said just now. After the first night’s sleep, you had started getting nightmares about your time in that room. You had jerked awake form one in the car, a cause for concern for everyone else. You played it down by saying it must have been a bump in the road. There was no need to worry everyone further. You already knew Dean was keeping a close eye, as was Sam. You didn’t want to come across as a wreck. You forced yourself to stay awake the rest of the way home.

Back the bunker, Eileen is there to greet you. Upon seeing you, she pulls you into a hug, ignoring that you were still covered in blood. “I was so worried.” She tells you. “Are you ok?”

“Not really. But I will be.” You assure her. “I’m alive at least.”

“Hey Eileen. Thanks for staying here.” Dean tells her. She nods at Dean and hugs Sam as he comes in.

“Well, I have to clean all this off.” You say, indicating the blood and sweat still covering your body. Dean follows, holding you gently as you walk to your room.

He removes the trench coat you were still wearing, his eyes roaming your body, a hardened expression on his face. You watch him trace the scars running up and down you, as well as the bruising that still marked you. He runs a bath, as the shower would be too harsh on your body, and helps you in. The whole time barely saying a word. He wordlessly washes your body, gently scrubbing out the blood that had crusted on your skin, taking care to avoid hurting you accidentally. You watch him, a little worried at his silence, but also feeling incredibly loved and cared for. You too were silent, unable to find the words to explain how much this moment meant to you. At last, when your hair is also washed, he helps you out, and takes one last look at your scars, before helping you into a robe. Once you are seated comfortably on the bed, he finally speaks. “Wait here.” He tells you before leaving the room and returning with Cas.

Cas looks at you with concern. “How are you feeling?” he asks.

“Better every minute.” You tell him with a smile and a small glance at Dean.

“I can heal you fully now.” He tells you. “Now that you’re all safely home.” He hovers his hand over you, running it up and down your full length. This third pass heals your remaining scars and bruises, leaving your body completely unmarked.

“Thanks Cas. For this and for the coat.” You tell him, grabbing his hand and giving it a squeeze.

“There’s no need for thanks.” He tells you, echoing Dean. “I’ve healed you physically, but this will no doubt take a toll on your mind. I’m, uh, here to talk if you need to.”

You smile at his endearing awkwardness, “Thanks Cas.”

As Cas leaves, you pretend you’re going to sleep, waving off Dean’s offer to stay. But you can’t sleep. You force yourself to stay awake for as long as possible. When you do doze off, you fall into nightmares involving fire and demons. You wake yourself up as quickly as possible and refuse to go back to sleep. In front of everyone else, you act well rested, and it’s mostly believable. Only Sam sees through your ruse.

“How are you feeling?” He asks you when he finds you alone the next day.

“I’m fine. Not a scratch left after Cas worked his magic.”

“That’s not what I meant, and you know that.” He says, refusing to let the topic change. “An experience like that is bound to leave a mark.”

“I’m fine.” You insist.

“You look like you haven’t slept in ages. Is it nightmares? Listen, I’ve had them too. I know how it can be.”

“Yeah, ok. It’s nightmares. But please don’t tell anyone else. I don’t want to worry people.”

Sam understood you mostly meant Dean. “Don’t worry, I won’t. But at some point, you have to talk about this. You can’t just bury it.”

“It’s always worked for me before.” You tell him. “But you’re probably right.”

“Good. I’m here anytime you need me.” He gives you a hug.

“Thanks, Sam.”

That evening, the five of you come together to make sense of the past two days. Cas begins by revealing where he had been.

“I was in Jerusalem, trying to find information from the texts and holy men.” He explains, “the weapon was what Lucifer used to corrupt mankind in the garden. I also believe I know the main angel trying to find it: Naomi. She has been trying to grow her power in heaven.”

“Naomi? Is she working alone?” Dean asks.

“No. She has gathered a following, but I don’t think they know her true intentions. This weapon was hidden by archangels in a way that would make it impossible to find and it was kept secret even from most angels.”

You ask Sam, Cas, and Dean what they found out from the demon Sahana, and they share all they learned with you and Eileen.

“It wasn’t as much as we hoped.” Sam begins. “But she did confirm the theory that it was a weapon designed by Lucifer and used in the Garden of Eden.”

“Did she say what it was?” You ask.

“No. And I don’t think she knew.” Dean answers.

“What about where it is?” You ask.

“Somewhere in California. Close to where you were being held.” Sam says.

“Then we should have stayed!” You exclaim.

“There was no point.” Dean tells you. “We don’t know what it is or it’s exact location.”

“Or how to retrieve it. It was more important to get you to safety.” Cas adds.

“Did she say what it has to do with the both of you?” Eileen asks.

“Also no. Me being Michael’s vessel is probably why I’m involved, but that’s about all we know.” Dean tells her. “I don’t think it mattered to her much why it was you. Just that she had you.” He adds, addressing you.

“Speaking of, how did you get me out so quickly. In the end her efforts seemed so weak.”

“That is a good question. It’s been bothering me too.” Cas says.

“Who cares why it was easy. We got you out and that’s what matters.” Dean interjects.

“It matters.” You argue. “Why hold me for no reason? She didn’t want to kill me or even get me to cooperate in anyway. She tortured me for the fun of it. Seems ridiculous to think there was no purpose.”

As you say this, the door to the bunker opens and Crowley walks in. “That, darling, is a very good question.”

Dean glares at Sam, “I thought you locked the door.”

“Lucky for you he didn’t.” Crowley tells Dean as Sam looks like he is about to protest the accusation.

“Glad to see you made it back.” He says, turning to you.

“Like you care.” You snap back. You were not in the mood to talk to demons at the moment. Even Crowley.

“I do. Why else would I try to help find you?” feigning being hurt by your words.

“You weren’t particularly useful, so I heard.” You say, making Dean laugh.

Crowley glares at Dean then at you. “For your information, you only got out of there alive thanks to me.”

“Why? What did you do?” You ask, sceptical.

“I held off the other demons. She wasn’t working alone. If it wasn’t for me, you would have been ambushed the second Sam and Dean found the hidden room, so a little appreciation wouldn’t go amiss!” He’s shouting by the end of his speech.

“Relax. After what I’ve been through, I’m not exactly feeling warmly towards demons. But thank you. I guess.” You tell him.

“Was that so hard?” He asks, calming down.

“It was actually.”

Dean laughs again.

“What happened to the other demons?” Sam asks.

“Dead. Or imprisoned. Either way, they’re well out of your way.” Crowley assures him.

“So, demons are no longer a threat?’ Dean asks.

“There may be some followers passionately loyal to the cause. But nothing you can’t handle, I’m sure.”

“Well, that’s something I guess.” You say. “Now we just worry about angels. By the way, did any of the other demons say anything about where this weapon is located.”

“California.” Crowley tells you. “Close to where you were held.”

“We already knew that. It doesn’t really help. Why did they not try to take it, or make Dean and I do whatever we have to do to get it?”

“Because it was the wrong California.”

“The wrong California?” you ask, confused.

“It’s in the alternate reality you came from.”

You exchange glances with Sam and Dean. It finally made sense why you were the only surviving version of yourself, and why you were chosen in the first place.

Chapter Text

After Crowley’s revelation regarding the location of the weapon had lead to the development of a plan to go and find it, after which Cas would hide it away from angels and demons alike. It would not be easy. Although Crowley had taken down the demons in this world, you could still run into some back in yours.

The plan was relatively simple: go back to your world, find the weapon and bring it back here. But without Cas that was impossible. Cas wanted to know how many angels, and which angels, were involved in finding and watching the weapon before you went. He had been getting close to identifying them, but after the fate of the last whistleblower, even friendly angels were now reluctant to talk to Cas. So, you waited.

Dean had packed a bag with weapons, unpacked it, and then repacked it twice. You had taken to wandering the bunker, exploring the building and the contents it housed, and Sam had started reading even more. Being on the edge of the end, but having to wait, was frustrating.

Luckily, you didn’t have to wait too much longer. Cas came back within a week.

“It’s Naomi. She’s the one behind this.” He tells the three of you the moment he got back. “The weapon is located in the heart of a tree which can only be identified by the two of you. No doubt the forest it’s in is swarming with angels.”

“We can handle a couple of angels.” Dean says. “So, is that it? We identify the tree?”

“No. There’s more. The tree needs to split open.”

“So, we take an axe.” Dean suggests.

“It’s magically reinforced, Dean. It requires two sigils.” He pulls out a piece of paper that has two circular symbols drawn on it. “You need to draw these on the trunk in your blood. With this, the tree should split open by itself.
They also have to be drawn simultaneously.”

“Sounds easy.”

“Except for the angels, and probably demons, that will likely attack you the second you get anywhere near the tree.” Sam reminds him.

“You and Cas keep them at bay. We,” he says, indicating you and himself, “will do what we gotta do and grab the weapon. And then Cas will zap us back here. Simple.”

“You’re optimistic.” Sam remarks.

“I am. We’ve been against worst odds before.”

“You’re right I suppose.”

“Cas, How soon can we go?”

“Whenever you’re ready.” Cas tells him.

Dean looks at you. “Two days.” You tell them.

“Two days it is.” Dean confirms.

“Dean, what was that?” Sam asks him privately later that evening. “Why are you in such a rush.”

“Because,” Dean explains, “the faster we find this thing, the better. I’m not risking anyone’s safety a day longer than necessary.”

Sam doesn’t need to ask who he’s referring to, but he is concerned about Dean’s almost reckless urgency.
Dean was worried. Not just because of the risks they were about to face, but about the uncertainty of the future. In the past, an important or dangerous endeavour only meant one of two things: life or death. And Dean had made his peace with both ages ago. But this time, it was different. There was still life and death, but life was no longer so simple. Going back to your world brought back in full force the fact that you didn’t belong here. You had a safe home and life to go back to. Now Dean saw two possibilities: he would either succeed, and keep you safe, or fail and something would happen to you. Either way, it meant your time together would end. Two days. He wished you had asked for more time.

Two days. Truth be told, you could have gone within a few hours. You are as ready as you’d ever be. But you wanted a chance to think. You knew it was almost over, one way or another. You knew once you got the weapon, you would have to come back to the bunker one more time. But would it be forever? You knew what Dean wanted. He wanted you to go home. He didn’t have to say it. The way he was behaving told you as much. He’d changed a lot from the early days of your relationship. He was still protective, but not to the degree where he let his anxiety impact your life. You knew you had shown him you were capable of handling yourself which had helped put him at ease. But you also knew he hated the life he lived and couldn’t fathom anyone wanting to live it with him. Part of you did. Part of you wanted to never set foot in your own world again. But the thought of leaving everything you had ever known behind, forever, scared you. You knew you would have to make a choice soon. You just hoped that you wouldn’t regret what you decided.

Dean was repacking his bag yet again. He stared at the glinting angel blade in his hand, lost in thought. “You take this.” He says, passing it to you. “And remember, stab first, ask questions later.”
You smile as you take it from him. “What about you?” You ask.

“I’ll be fine. I’ve fought those douchebags before. Besides, I know you’ve got my back.”

He goes back to his task, this time cleaning his gun for the third time. You felt as restless as he did. You were being a lot less productive though. You didn’t want to plan or even think about the future. You wanted to just be here forever. Angel blade in hand, you lay on Dean’s bed, eyes closed, trying to relax. You reach over to the old green radio on his nightstand and turn it on, the staticky music helping you to not think. Dean looks at you and smiles to himself. You couldn’t meditate for long; you were too anxious. You take to pacing the room, back and forth, head empty. Sensing your agitation, Dean pours both of you a drink. You drown it immediately and hand your glass back for another round. He smiles and pours another. You continue walking, glass in hand.

A song comes on the radio:

“My feet are aching
And your back is pretty tired
And we've drunk a couple bottles, babe
And set our grief aside
The papers say it's doomsday
The button has been pressed…”

Something about it seems so fitting. You put down your glass and grab Dean’s hand, pulling him up. You reach your arms around his neck and lean your head back to look at him better. He grabs your waist, and the two of you dance slowly in the middle of the room. He smiles at you, and you laugh. He twirls you around before pulling you back to him.

“Oh, we're going out in style, babe
And everything's on sale
We creep up on extinction
I pull your arms right in…”

You press yourself to his chest, his hand on your back, finding comfort in one another.

“Oh, it's you that I lie with
As the atom bomb locks in
Yes, it's you I welcome death with
As the world, as the world caves in”

As the song draws to an end, he kisses you deeply. You cup his face and run your fingers through his hair. “Promise me you’ll be safe.” He whispers. You knew he was looking for assurance. You weren’t sure if he meant tomorrow or in general. Either way, there was only one answer.

“I will. I always am.” You tell him. “Promise me you’ll be ok.” You weren’t sure if you meant tomorrow or forever. It didn’t matter. Dean didn’t reply. He just kissed you one more time before going back to cleaning his gun that he had cleaned three times before.

You spent the night with Dean. The two of you lay in silence, unable to sleep, unwilling to talk. There was more to be said in the silence than could be communicated through words. Dean’s arm is around you, holding you close, his fingers tracing your arm. You hold your breath trying to memorize his, watching the rise and fall of his chest.

You hadn’t thought much about the future. In your old life, you always had a plan. It changed quite often, and you knew things rarely went smoothly, but you knew what you wanted in life and where you saw yourself. Since coming here, you’d stopped trying to predict your future. You lived in the moment as there was a lot to take in and learn. And enjoy. But tonight, you were back to thinking and planning. Maybe it was because you were returning to your world. Or perhaps because there was soon to be a choice you’d make in the coming days. And although you were thinking about the future, you couldn’t plan. You couldn’t choose the life you wanted. There was too much uncertainty. And so, since you could not decide, you lay there, taking in every unsaid word, every gentle touch, and counting every breath.

Chapter Text

The next day, you, Sam, and Dean are ready to go. The three of you were sitting in a tense silence, waiting for Cas, when Eileen joins you. “I’m coming with you.” She says.

“Are you sure?” Sam asks.

“Definitely. You’re going to need the back up.”

“Thanks, Eileen.” Dean tells her.

Cas returns not long after holding the ingredients for the spell that would transport you back to your universe. “Are you guys ready?” he asks.

“As we’ll ever be.” Dean tells him, getting up to help him assemble the spell.

A strong wind hits you, blowing your hair into your face. You brush it aside and take in your surroundings. The five of you were standing on a hill, looking down towards a thick forest of sequoia trees. “Is this it?” You turn to ask Cas.

“The spell brought us as close as possible. It should be somewhere down there.” He says, indicating the dense area of trees below.

“Well, what are we waiting for?” Dean asks and begins hiking down the rocky hill. The rest of you follow him.

The slope was steep and the ground uneven, making you lose your footing. Dean catches you just in time, as you put your arm around his shoulders to steady yourself.

“Are you ok?” he asks. You nod. “Here, hold on to me.” He offers you his hand, guiding you down.

“Thanks.” You tell him when you reach the bottom. “I kind of have a fear of heights, especially going down.”

“Really?” He looks at you in surprise, suppressing a grin. “I never knew that.”

“Wasn’t relevant before today, I guess. I don’t know why you’re laughing, by the way. When was the last time you were on a plane?”

“Planes crash.” He says, sobering up.

“Mhmm.”

You both are ahead of the others and wait for them to join you before making your way further in. You haven’t yet entered the forest itself, but you start to sense something. You turn to Dean. “Yeah, I feel that.” He says before
you even ask. “This is definitely the right place.” He tells Sam, Cas and Eileen.

The two of you lead the others through the thick growth. The forest floor was dark, the trees letting in very limited sunlight. Although it was still morning outside, among the trees it looked like dusk, getting darker the farther inwards you get. Something flashes by the corner of your eye, making you stop in your tracks.

“What’s wrong?” Dean asks.

“I thought I saw something.”

“Where?” Sam asks.

“That way.” You point him in the direction you saw the figure move.

“You two carry on, I’ll handle this.”

“Be careful, Sammy.” Dean tells him. Sam nods.

He’s barely out of sight when another figure appears somewhere behind you.

“That’s definitely a demon.” Cas says, going after it.

You move more quickly now, trying to reach the tree before other demons, or angels, can find you. But the forest is full of both. Within minutes, you’re attacked for a third time. Dean stabs the demon quickly before it can reach you or Eileen, but it hadn’t come alone. A fourth grabs you from behind. You manage to free your right arm and graze it with the angel blade. The demon screams and lets go. Eileen steps between you and the demon that is returning to attack.

“Go!” She tells you, pushing you aside.

The demon lunges for her instead, and you’re unable to move, you had to help her.

“Go! I’ve got this.” She insists, turning to face the demon.

Dean grabs your hand and pulls you along. You look at him, and he sees the worry in your eyes. “The faster we find it, the faster we can end this.”

The two of you are running now, both innately knowing where to go, as if pulled by some invisible force. As the trees rush past, you’re suddenly hit with a sense of déjà vu. You’d been here before, in your vision. It was that same rush, and soon you see it, the glow in the distance calling you towards it like a beacon. As it draws closer, you feel a sense of relief; you’d made it.

Mere seconds after this thought washes over you, you’re thrown back as if by some invisible force, hitting the trunk of a tree, landing several feet from where you were. Your back collides with the tree, winding you, your vision a blur. You’re on your hands and knees, trying to regain your breath and clear your sight. You use the tree to pull yourself back upright as much as possible. Still breathing heavy, you look around for what threw you back. And for Dean. But there was no sign of him or your attacker.

Your heart beats wildly, and you look around. The throw had made you lose your sense of direction, but then the pull of the tree returned, rerouting you like a compass. But you do not immediately follow. You had to find Dean.
“Dean!” you call out, not caring who else heard. You see movement in the distance, and you rush towards it, but stop in your tracks halfway. A woman stands in front of you. She’s smiling in a way she thinks is kind. You had nothing to defend yourself with, having dropped the angel blade when you were thrown back. Still, you refused to back away.

“Don’t be silly.” She tells you, as if reading your thoughts. “You cannot fight me. Especially not without this.” She pulls out the blade from her jacket. “Here.” She says, holding it out to you. “A peace offering.”

You refuse to move closer, not sure what her purpose was in returning it to you, but not trusting her.

“Take it. I don’t mean to harm you.” Reluctantly, you take the blade. “Good. That’s a bit more balanced, isn’t it?”

“What ever this is,” you scoff, “It’s not balanced. What do you want? And Where is Dean.”

“My name is Naomi. I’m here to talk to you, and Dean, on behalf of heaven.”

“Pass.”

“Perhaps you may want to reconsider.” She indicates to some distance behind her. You notice a figure pinned against a tree. Your heart is suddenly in your throat.

“Let him go.” Your words are quiet but laced with anger.

“I just want to talk.”

“Fine. But hurt him and I’ll make you pay dearly.”

“Of course.” She agrees, loftily.

You follow her back to where she was holding Dean. He begins to struggle to escape upon seeing you. “If you touch her…” He begins.

But Naomi cuts him off, “Relax, Dean. I haven’t harmed her. Like I said, I just want to talk.”

“About what?” He asks, glaring at her, still unable to move.

“About what you two are about to do. Don’t be stupid. You must hand that weapon over to heaven.”

“Why?” You ask.

“Why? Because we can keep it safe. Away from demons and others who may want to use it.”

“How do we know you won’t use it?”

“Why would we?” She asks, feigning innocence.

“Don’t act coy.” Dean tells her. “How many angels have died over this? How many times was Cas attacked?”

“Those angels, like Castiel, were misguided.” She says firmly.

“Is that why you killed them?” You ask.

“You must work with heaven.” She insists, conspicuously diverting the conversation from the question of dead angels.

“You guys already tried to get me to cooperate. We all know how well that worked out.” Dean snarls.

“You’re right.” Naomi agrees. “But that was asking a lot. I’m not asking for your whole life, Dean. Just some cooperation. And yours.” She adds, turning to you. “Besides, it is not without its reward.”

“We don’t want anything from you.” You tell her. “Let him go.”

Naomi laughs. “Are you sure? Because you’ve already been given it.”

“What are you talking about?” Dean asks.

“Did you truly think you found each other and fell in love by accident? Did you never wonder how Cas knew to go and find you? Putting you right in Dean Winchester’s path.”

“You set this up?” You ask, horrified. Dean is silent, staring at Naomi with distaste.

“Of course. You see, the man and woman who are destined to be able to retrieve the weapon must be together. Like Adam and Eve. I made sure Cas got that vision.”

“So, if Cas had never seen it, we had never gone to get her, it would have been impossible to get the weapon?” Dean asks. His tone sounds regretful and guilty. You feel a stab of worry in your chest for him, but you can’t help but
think, was that even a real feeling?

“That’s right. But think of how good she is for you.”

“You used her! She was tortured because of you! I swear to God, I will kill you.” Dean tells her.

“You will cooperate.” She says quietly, her voice firm. “I have asked you both nicely. Do not think I cannot make you comply.”

“You can’t.” you tell her.

“Can’t I?” She smiles at you. Behind her, blood starts dripping from Dean’s eyes. “Do you want Dean to keep his blood vessels intact?”

“Stop it!” You shout at her.

“Fine.”

Suddenly you can’t breathe. It’s suffocation unlike anything you’ve ever felt before. You drop to your knees as the world begins to grow dark. Dean was shouting something indiscernible. Your chest is heaving, a familiar
movement that no longer serves any purpose. Your lungs were gone. You’re seconds from blacking out when you feel a rush of air, and oxygen returns to your brain. You’re still on your knees, gasping for air.

“I don’t want to hurt you. Just do as your told. We’ll leave you alone.”

“Go to hell.” You tell her. “I’m not your bitch.”

“Oh, but you are. Or you will be. Or next time, I’ll take Dean’s heart. Wouldn’t that be poetic?”

“You can’t kill us. It would defeat the whole purpose. You’re no different than that demon, Sahana.”

Naomi glares at you. “I can’t kill you, but I can make it hurt.” Suddenly you’re lifted several feet in the air, before being dropped to the ground hard. You fall hard with a thud, eyes blurring with tears of pain.

“Wait!” Dean shouts. “I’ll do it. Just let her go.”

“No. Dean.” You say, barely above a whisper.

He ignores you. “Promise me.” He says to Naomi, “That once this is over, she can go back to her normal life, like nothing happened. No demon or angel will ever come near her again.”

“I promise you. It’ll be like nothing ever happened.”

“Dean.” You protest weakly.

Naomi lets him go, and he collapses on the floor, before getting up and running to you. He lifts you up gently, cradling you in his arms. “You’re gonna be ok.” He whispers to you. He helps you to your feet. You’re hurt but nothing seems broken.

“Dean, we can’t do this.” You tell him. “You can’t trust her.”

“I’m sorry. I don’t see any other options. If only I had followed my instincts and stayed away from you from the start...” His words pierce you like a knife, and your world feels like it’s falling apart. Nothing made sense. For a moment, you long for the simplicity of life before the Winchesters. Maybe Dean was right.

“Ok.” You agree. “Let’s get this over with.”

The words are barely out of your mouth before you are transported to a clearing. In the middle stands an ancient tree, a glowing aura outlining its shape. Instantly, you knew this was it. You look at Dean one more time, willing
him to change his mind. But Dean closes his eyes briefly, bracing himself. “What do we do?” He asks Naomi.

“You already know. You draw the sigils. I’m sure Castiel had found what they were.”

Dean nods. “Ready?” He asks you.

You nod at him. “I’ll need something sharp.” You tell him.

Dean’s heart feels like it’s made of lead. He passes you a knife, working hard to make sure his hand does not shake, betraying his weak resolve. But he had to do this. For you.

You take the knife he offers, making an incision on your arm. The deep red liquid flows immediately, running down your arm. You hand the knife back to Dean who makes an identical cut on his arm. Both of you work
simultaneously, drawing your respective sigils. As your close the circles around the mark, the tree begins to vibrate. You stand hastily, watching as it begins to shudder. You’re transfixed, but Dean pulls you back just in time. The old tree splits right down the middle, the two halves coming down with an almighty crash. The noise is deafening, and you close your eyes as the debris flies into the air. The very tips of the tree reaches the edge of the clearing. In the center of the two halves, you see a glittering round shape. Before either you, Dean, or Naomi can react, Cas appears, blocking the way to the tree.

“Let them go, Naomi.” He warns.

“Castiel. It’s good to see you. I would urge you not to get in my way.”

“Let them go.” He repeats.

“Oh, they’re free to go. Just as I promised. Just step out of the way.”

“I don’t think so.” Cas tells her, his angel blade appears in his hand.

Naomi’s eyes narrow and she moves towards Cas. Cas does the same, and the two and quickly locked in battle. Seeing her distracted, you pull away from Dean and grab the glinting, gold object from the middle of the tree. Dean sees what you’re doing and quickly grabs you, pulling you away, back into the forest. You grab his hand to avoid being separated, the other clutching the object close to your chest. He pulls you along, away from Naomi, not stopping until you cannot hear her and Cas anymore. Panting, the two of you stop to catch your breath.

“You should have left it.” He tells you.

“You wouldn’t have.”

Dean smiles. “Probably not.”

You slip the object in your pocket. “We have to help Cas.” You say with urgency.

“I will.” Dean tells you. “You have to get out of here.”

“I’m not leaving you.” You till him.

“Fine. But at least stay here. And take this,” he gives you a flask you know is filled with holy water and the knife you had used earlier. “It won’t kill anything, but just stab anyway. And find Sam and Eileen.”

You nod. “Be careful, Dean.”

“Always am.” He replies. You’re far from assured. You knew he had given you the last of his weapons and was walking into an angel fight empty handed. Instinctively, you embrace him. A little surprised, but grateful, he pulls you in close, squeezing you tightly before letting go. “I’ll see you soon.” He promises.

You watch him leave until you cannot make him out anymore. You look around, trying to find your sense of direction. You knew you had come south, towards the clearing. You start retracing your steps in what you hoped was the opposite direction. You’re a half mile out before you see any hint of Sam or Eileen: blood splatters. You grit your teeth, preparing for the worst, and you follow the trail of blood. A short distance later you see Eileen. She’s sitting against a tree, holding her side, blood soaking her shirt.

“Eileen!” You call, running towards her. “What happened?” You ask, looking at the wound on her side.

“Demons.” She says with a struggle, wincing in pain.

“Hold on.” You say, trying to rip a strip of fabric from your shirt. Your hands are shaking too hard to do the job. You peel off the jacket and flannel shirt you were wearing, wrapping the entire shirt around her waist. You quickly
put the jacket back on over your t-shirt. You couldn’t risk losing the weapon. Satisfied that it had stemmed the blood, you help Eileen up, helping her to lean on you, as you continue to retrace your steps, hoping to find Sam.

You’re nearly at the edge when you run into him. He hugs both of you in turn. “Thank God you’re ok. What happened?” He asks, noticing Eileen’s injury.

“The demon I was fighting. It had a friend. Don’t worry, they’re both dead now.”

“Are you ok?” Sam asks, turning to you.

“I’m fine. But Dean and Cas, they need help.” You tell him urgently. “The angel, Naomi…” But the words are barely out of your mouth when she appears.

“There you are.” She says, her voice threatening. “You have something that belongs to heaven.”

Sam pulls you and Eileen behind him.

“Sam!” She says, “Don’t make this harder.”

“Where are Cas and Dean?” He demands.

“I promise your brother is fine.” Naomi assures him.

“And Cas?”

“He had betrayed heaven.”

The implication of her words makes your blood run cold.

“Don’t come any closer!” Sam warns her.

Back in the clearing, Dean pulls Cas off the ground. “Come on, Cas!” He urges. But Cas’s body is limp.

Naomi had managed to sink her blade three inches into his chest before disappearing without warning. Cas had collapsed immediately, but Dean was sure he was still alive. He had to be. He had pulled out the blade from his chest, blood soaking his white shirt.

“Cas. Please.” Dean repeats himself. Dean closes his eyes in despair. “Please.” He repeats himself. Dean was at a complete loss. He had tried to put up a false bravado the past few days, trying to convince himself everything would be ok. Now Cas was lifeless in his arm, and he had no idea where you, Sam, or Eileen were. For a few moments it seems he might lose everything he loves.

But Cas stirs, and the moment passes. “Dean.” He says weakly.

“Cas. Are you ok?”

“I’m fine.” He assures Dean, thought still struggles to sit up. “Where is Naomi?”

“I don’t know. She just disappeared.”

“What about the weapon?”

“It’s not here. We have to find her Cas; I know Naomi went after her. Are you ok to move?”

Cas nods, indicating Dean should hold on, and the two of them vanish.

Just as you’re fearing the worst, Cas and Dean appear out of thin air, Cas bleeding. The effort of transporting himself and Dean having taken the remainder of his energy, he collapses to the ground.

“You’re still alive.” Naomi says in surprise, seeing Cas. ”No matter, I can deal with you later. Now, as I was saying, hand it over, and I’ll spare you.”

“And why should I trust you?” you ask, walking towards Cas, hoping he would understand the message you were trying to convey. “After everything you’ve done.”

“Don’t be silly. I am promising your survival and safety. You can go back to your life, neither heaven nor hell will bother you again.”

“And everyone else?”

Her face is clouded for a minute, but she forces herself to relax, “I’ll let everyone leave. Just hand it over!”

“Ok, then prove it. Heal Cas.”

Her face darkens, “that is out of the question, he acted against his own kind.”

“By own kind, you mean you? I don’t trust you, remember? Prove you’ll let us go by healing Cas.”

“Fine.” She moves to Cas, holding her hand over his wound, white light shining as it heals. At the same time, you grab Dean’s arm and quickly pull him away from Cas and Naomi. The second Cas is healed, he attacks, and Naomi
lands several feet away. She gets up, furious.

“How dare you.” She shouts. Whether it’s directed at you, or Cas is unclear. “You’ll regret this, foolish girl.” This time she turns to you. “Trusting the Winchesters is suicide.”

“Oh, and trusting you wouldn’t be?” You move backwards slowly as she walks towards you, “You used me, put me in danger, didn’t bother to help when I was tortured by a demon, and you expected me to trust you? You’re delusional.”

“I would have let you go.”

“After getting what you want. That’s not the act of generosity you think it is.”

“We’ll see how you feel when you’re dying.” She pulls out her angel blade, mere feet from you now.

“I don’t think so.” Cas steps between the two of you, his own weapon in his hand. The two battle it out, but Cas quickly manages to sink his blade into Naomi’s side. She gives you a look of pure loathing before disappearing.

“She just left?” you ask in surprise.

“She’s injured. Naomi is more of a strategist than a fighter.” Cas says. “But she will be back with others, we have to leave now.” He was already working on the spell that would take you back to the other world. The sigil glows brightly, and moments later, you’re back in the bunker.

Sam, who had been holding Eileen up, helps her into a chair. Blood now soaked through the shirt you had tied around her. “Cas, can you heal her?”

“Of course.” He unwraps the shirt and heals her wounds.

“Are you hurt?” Dean asks you.

“No, I’m fine.” You assure him. You pull out the round gold object from your pocket. “What do we do about this?” You place it on the table, wanting to put a little distance between you and the thing that had nearly cost everything.

It was shaped like a pomegranate. “Looks like the old monk knew what he was talking about.” You remark to Dean.

Dean picks it up, looking at it closely. “It looks like it opens.” He says, indicating a line going down its length. He pries it open, revealing an interior lined with glittering rubies. “What is this supposed to do?” He asks.

“That,” Cas says, from behind him, “is what Lucifer used to lead humanity astray. One stone placed in the water supply would be enough to control the whole city. Whoever wields the weapon can create an army. Literally sowing the seeds of dissent.”

“That explains the demons, but what does heaven want with this?” Sam asks.

“Heaven is no longer heaven. It’s being controlled by the likes of Naomi. They care more about their own importance and power than of their duty to protect humanity. This weapon would be an easy way to have people worshipping them like Gods, because being an angel is no longer enough.”

“Glad we got it away from her then.” You say.

“You were amazing.” Dean says, “And getting her to heal Cas.”

“You have to use any leverage you can get.” You say sagely.

“You’re right. I can’t believe I almost gave in.” Dean says.

“You did?” Sam asks.

“Yeah. Luckily one of us was thinking straight.”

“What happens now?” Eileen asks.

“Now I hide it.” Cas says.

“Couldn’t angels and demons find it, now that we took it out?”

“They can. It’s why it needs to be in a warded box.”

As the four of them talked about hiding the weapon, the reality that it was over finally over washes over you. This realization brings with it the knowledge that you were really tired and wished to be alone. You excuse yourself from the group, leaving the four of them to discuss the weapon and how it would be hidden. You no longer cared what happened to it. That one object had cost you so much.

Chapter Text

You go to your room, still thinking about the moment you met the Winchesters. You had made your peace that day with the idea of never going back home. But today you had been back home, been back in the world you belonged in, where your family and friends were. Although you were far from home in California, you knew, at least, that you were in the right reality. Despite the fight with an angel, it felt normal. These feelings were amplified by what Naomi had revealed. You and Dean were together on the premise of some heavenly plan. Everything you had built here felt tainted.

In the heat of battle, you had been able to forget, but from the moment you got back, every touch, every look from Dean made you wonder if it was genuine. If he felt anything like what you felt about him, you knew the feelings were strong. But that didn’t stop you from questioning them. You knew eventually Dean would do the same.

You don’t see Dean, or anyone else, for the rest of the night. When Dean doesn’t come to see you, you’re a little hurt but not surprised. You’re exhausted and fall asleep quickly, but that doesn’t stop the nightmares from coming. You were back on the table, a demonic face looming over you. It was joined by Naomi’s. waking up in a cold sweat, you cannot go back to sleep.

It had been nearly a year since you had started living with the Winchesters. A lot had changed for you, and them, since. You had become a hunter in your own right, learning to shoot a gun, had hunted vampires and ghosts, fought off demons, saved lives. You had also found love, and friendships that could only be formed on the brink of life or death. You knew Dean would always support your returning to your normal life, but before the forest, you would have disagreed point blank. Now you knew you wouldn’t.

Sick of laying in bed, you get up and walk through the darkened bunker. Your brain automatically takes you to the kitchen for a drink. You grab one from the fridge and sit at the table, leaning against the wall. You’re suddenly taken back in time to when you and Dean told Sam about your relationship. You had been in the same spot then. It wasn’t very long ago, but it felt like a lifetime now. You’re lost in thought and don’t notice Dean approach.

“Great minds.” He says, grabbing a drink as well.

“I couldn’t sleep.”

“Me neither.”

“The weapon?”

“Locked away and warded for now. Cas will drop it in some ocean trench tomorrow.”

“Good.”

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m alright. Had better days. I think.”

“Somethings bothering you.” Fact, not a question.

“It is.” You mumble. “If I know you, you’re thinking it too.”

“It’s not like me, but I’m trying not to.”

“So it doesn’t bother you that you were some puppet in her plan?”

“It did. But was it really her plan? If we were the only two options, was it really Naomi pulling the strings?”

“From what I understand, it was designed to never be found. It’s why there’s only one me and why you don’t exist in my world. If we go by fate, we were never supposed to meet.”

“So you’re saying you wish this had never happened?”

You look at Dean for the first time since he walked in. His expression reflects the hurt in his voice. “I’m saying I don’t know what to think or feel. I just feel used. Everything feels wrong.”

“Including this moment right here.” Another statement, not a question.

“I just can’t wrap my head around it. It feels like I was drugged. Made to feel things and act in ways that I may not have. Or I might have. Either way, I feel like my life has not been in my control.”

Dean takes a long sip. “I understand. And I respect that. So what are you thinking, will you go back?”

“I’m not sure.” You look at him, trying to convey the unspoken apology you felt you owed him.

“You know I will always support whatever you decide. Including going back. I will always want the best for you.”

You put down your empty bottle and get up, kissing his cheek before you go, “Thank you. That means everything to me.” You leave him alone with his thoughts, making sure you’re far away before you let the tears fall.
You take the scenic room through the bunker, taking in the place. You go through the library, thinking of the countless hours spent with Sam and Dean doing research and understanding the Men of Letter’s archives. You go through the room where you had celebrated Dean’s birthday, held silly arguments over movies, teased each other, and fallen for him. Every inch of the place held your memories from the last few months of your life. You wanted to lock it in your memory forever.

Entering your room, you go through your things. You had come here with practically nothing, just the clothes you were wearing and your bag. You fish these long forgotten items from the back of your wardrobe. You search through your bag, finding your wallet. You smile as you look at your old, and real, IDs. You hadn’t used legitimate ones in ages. You find spare keys to your car. Not as nice as the one you had here, but yours. You find papers from work, lessons you had planned and never delivered. You find your old phone and leave it to charge. The bag itself still smells familiar. Like home. Everything could be the same again. A wave of homesickness washes over you.

Dean sits in silence, his mind blank. He had been pushing for you to go home since the moment you met, but now that it was here, he couldn’t entertain the thought. He had never thought you would want to go. He felt stupid for it now. People didn’t stay in his life for long.

He’s still there when Sam joins him in the morning.

“You’re up early.” Sam remarks.

“Yeah I guess. Did Eileen get home ok?”

“Yeah, she messaged last night. Did you sleep at all?”

“Not really.”

“Why not? We got the weapon and got away from Naomi. We should be celebrating!”

“She wants to go home.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m sorry, Dean.”

“You know, I feel like an asshole. This is a good thing. But I’m sitting here sulking.”

“You love her.” Sam says, quietly, noticing the moisture welling up in Dean’s eyes.

Dean is silent for a minute. “Yeah, maybe, but that doesn’t matter for people like you and me.”

Sam doesn’t reply, watching Dean with concern.

“When we were with Naomi,” Dean explains, “she pretty much told us that she made sure we met and got together. Probably got some cupid to do her dirty work too.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Come on Sam, since when does heaven take a chance like that. They did it to mom and dad, remember.”

“That didn’t mean they were unhappy. They loved each other.”

“But they didn’t know any better. We do. And you know the worst part about it? I don’t care how we fell in love, I don’t want to lose her. After all my talk of free will and not following what heaven wants, I fall right for it.”

“This doesn’t make you a weak person.”

“No, but it does make me a hypocrite. She’s not though. And she’s right.”

Sam disagrees, but doesn’t say anything more. Dean wouldn’t hear it, and it wouldn’t change his mind. He knew he had to talk to Cas.

Later that day, you’re still alone in your room when you heard a knock on the door. “Come in.” you called, a little nervous at seeing Dean again. You knew your resolve to go home wouldn’t hold if you saw him again and again.
But it wasn’t Dean. It was Cas.

“Hi Cas! I didn’t expect to see you.” You try to hide your disappointment. Despite everything, you still wished it was Dean.

“You were expecting Dean.” Cas had a way of reading your thoughts.

“No, I just thought you would be off hiding the weapon or something.” You turn away and busy yourself with random things to avoid sharing your feelings.

“I will be, but there’s something more important.”

“What can be more important than that?” You ask, surprised.

“There is something. Can you meet me in the library in ten minutes?”

“Everything ok?”; You ask, a little taken aback by this request.

“Yes. I’ll see you in ten minutes.” Cas says before leaving.

It was the longest ten minutes of your life, or so it felt. What could be more important than hiding the weapon?

Eight minutes later, you’re in the library. Dean arrives almost immediately after you.

“Hey.” He says, sounding nothing like himself.

“Hi.” You sound as awkward as you felt. Inwardly you wish Cas would hurry up, and regret being early.

“Did Cas ask you to come?” Dean asks.

“Yeah. I’m guessing you too?”

“Yeah.”

“Any idea what he wants.”

“No. And you know him, he never explains anything if he can help it.” Dean says with a laugh.

“You’re right.” You agree with a smile.

Something twists inside of you, making your stomach hurt. It felt a lot like regret. Leaving him would be one of the hardest thing you’d ever do. You look at him like you want to say something, you’re not sure what. But before you
can get a word out, Cas is here. And he’s accompanied by a plump naked man.

“Whoa, Cas, a little warning would be nice.” Dean says, averting his eyes. But the naked man goes straight to Dean and pulls him into a tight embrace. “Hey, that’s enough!” he says as the man refuses to let go.

He drops Dean suddenly and turns towards you, but before he can reach you Dean comes in between. “Not her.” He warns him. You’re grateful.

“This is a cupid.” Cas tells you and Dean.

“I can see that Cas, what’s he doing here.” Dean replies.

“He’s here because The two of you need to hear something. I know you feel that you were forced into this relationship, but other than making sure you met, heaven didn’t interfere. This cupid can attest to that.”

“That’s right.” The cupid says in a chirpy voice. “We didn’t need to do anything. Though we were on standby. But you two just fell right for each other.” He’s beaming at the both of you.

You look at Dean, he’s already watching you. You’re not sure what to think, but you do regret pushing Dean away earlier. Before you knew what was happening, you were in each other’s arms, and Dean was kissing you. It was like you were pulled together by magic. But of course, it wasn’t magic, even if it felt like it.

Chapter Text

“Aww look at you two!” Cupid says in delight. “I think my work here is done.” He disappears into thin air. Cas also leaves the room quietly, giving you both some privacy.

“I’m sorry.” You tell Dean. You were sitting on his lap, your cheek resting against his. Your arm wrapped around his neck and you were playing with his hair.

“Don’t apologize. You were right to be upset.”

“Still, I feel like I hurt you, and I hate that.”

“You’re more than making up for it now.” He says with a smile, kissing you.

“Good.”

“You know, we could take this elsewhere.”

“Could we?”

“Yeah. Like somewhere more private.” He stands up, still holding you in his arms, and carries you to your room which was closer than his.

You’re so lost in the moment you forget the state you left your room in. The smile slides off his face and he puts you down. Your things were spread out, some sorted into piles.

“You were packing?” He asks quietly.

You curse yourself for not remembering. “Yeah. Kind of.”

“Do you want me to help?”

“Sure.” There’s a lump in your throat.

Dean begins to sort things out with you. You weren’t sure even as you worked if you were packing up or not. Dean finds your bag you brought with you.

“Can I look?” He asks.

“Of course.”

He rifles through the things you found earlier, looking at them slowly, as if trying to memorize them. They were a stark reminder that you had a life before hunting. A life that was still waiting for you. He knew you felt guilty for wanting it back. He smiled at your license, and resolved to not let you feel badly about leaving. But he wanted something to remember you by.

“Can I keep this?” He asks, holding up the card.

“My license? I guess so. Why do you want that?”

“I don’t want to forget you. The real you.”

“And how will I remember you?”

“Here.” He pulls out the keys to the Impala. “I have a spare set, but these are my usual ones.”

You add them to your keys as he slides your license into his wallet.

Your phone buzzes, letting you know it was charged. As it powers on, your friends’ faces smile up at you. It was a picture you guys took at a night out. Dean notices from over your shoulder.

“Are those your friends?” He asks, curious.

“Yeah. I remember this night. We were celebrating my break up.”

“You look really happy.”

“I was. We had a great time. Spent too much money, probably talked way too loud, but I remember not giving a damn about anything or anyone that day. Wanna see more?”

“Definitely.”

You show Dean the photos of your friends family, work, and home. Giving him all the back stories and anecdotes that went with them. He listened to every one with great interest.

“Sounds like a great life.” He says, when you finish going through your phone.

You smile and agree, but then the smile leaves your face.

“It wasn’t always that great. Never go off the highlight reel.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I was depressed. And often suicidal.”

“Why?” Dean asks, a little confused.

“All this time, I felt lonely. Sounds stupid I know, especially after everything I just told you. But all I wanted was something different. Something more.”

He kisses your head. “I didn’t know you’ve been dealing with these thoughts this whole time. I wish you had shared with me.”

“That’s the thing. I haven’t felt that way in a while. And it’s been because of you.” Your voice threatens to crack at the end of the sentence. “I’m so confused. I don’t know what to do.”

“I’ll support you in whatever you decide.” Dean said, repeating himself from earlier. He was surprised to learn that your old life, the kind of life he had dreamed of, had made you so unhappy. He couldn’t imagine anyone being
happier living with him the way he did.

That evening, you’re hanging out with Cas, who had retuned from stashing the box containing the weapon. He wouldn’t even tell you where he hid it. And you didn’t really want to know. It was gone from your life and that’s all that mattered. You were sitting in silence but you could tell there was something he wanted to talk about. And you were right.

“Have you had a chance to think about what you want for your future?”

“Yeah. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I think I know what I want to do. But I’ll need your help.”

“Just tell me whatever you need.”

Chapter Text

In what feels like a miracle, the four of you have dinner together. After the chaos of the past few days, it felt surreal. But you knew things weren’t back to normal, you needed to tell the Winchesters what you were going to do. You’d had a lot of dinners, but this was particularly memorable. You loved how happy Dean looked. You felt a twinge of guilt when you announced that you were leaving tomorrow.

Sam looks shocked. “Are you sure?”

“I think so.” You say.

He glances at Dean who doesn’t say anything.

“Why so soon?” He asks, when no one else says anything.

“It’s as good a day as any.”

Sam smiles at you half heartedly. “Well, if you’re sure. I wish you the best.”

“What time?” Dean asks, suddenly deadpan.

“Noon.”

“Can come with you to say goodbye?”

“I want you to.” You tell him, squeezing his hand under the table. He squeezes back.

The rest of dinner passes by in silence but Sam approaches Dean after dinner. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine, Sam.” And when Sam looks at him sceptically, “Seriously.”

“You can admit to having feelings.” Sam tells him.

“Ok fine. I’m upset. What good did that do? I’m used to this, Sam. People leave me. You did too once, remember? So tell me, why should I talk about it?”

Sam doesn’t know what to say as Dean walks away, leaving him standing alone.

You spend the night with Dean in his room. He holds you close. Neither of you say anything. You didn’t need to. You weren’t sure when you fall asleep, but you do realize it was the first time you hadn’t had a nightmare since that demon attacked you.

When you slowly wake in the morning, Dean wasn’t there. You were a little disappointed to see him gone, but you’re still struggling to get out of bed when he returns. He’s carrying a tray laden with breakfast.

“One last time.” He tells you, smiling.

You smile at him as he places the food in front of you. You pull him towards you by his shirt and feed him before eating your self. He does the same. You both eat slowly, neither wanting the meal to end. But it does.

“It’s past eleven.” Dean warns. “You better get dressed.”

“You’re right. I’ll see you soon?”

“Sure.”

By 11:45 you’re ready to go by the front door of the bunker. Sam and Dean were there before you. They look surprised at your lack of bags.

“You’re not taking anything?” Sam asks.

“I’ve got everything I need.”

Sam looks at you and laughs awkwardly. “I don’t know what to say other than I’ll really miss you. It’s going to feel lonelier here without you.”

“I’m gonna miss you too, Sam. Give my best to Eileen. And Charlie, Jody, and Garth.”

“I will.”

“Ready to go?” Cas asks as he arrives.

“Yeah. Let’s do this.” You hug Sam goodbye and hold Dean’s arm as Cas works the spell.

As the sigil glows, you close your eyes. When you open them again, you’re back in your neighbourhood. You look around the familiar street, taking in that mot much has changed. Even the people are the same. For a brief moment, it’s like you never left and the past year was a fever dream. But then you remember Dean Winchester and Castiel were standing next to you.

“I want to show you around.” You tell Dean and Cas. The spell had brought you a little far from your house, so on the walk there, you point out the places that shaped your life. As you cut through the park by your house, you get a little nervous. You weren’t sure how everything would be without you existing here. But as you draw closer, your anxiety eases.

Your little brother is outside on the driveway, working on your car. Or, you suppose, his car now. You stand a short distance away, watching.

“Is that your brother?” Dean asks.

“Yeah. That’s him. And that’s my car. That window on the right is my room.” Without thinking, you walk towards the house, stopping only a few feet away. Your brother looks at you with curiosity and it’s only then you remember:
he no longer knew you existed.

But something about you triggers a vague memory in him. “Hey! Have we met before?” He calls out, noticing you watching him.

Before you can say anything, Dean has caught up with you and approaches your brother. “Yeah, we just moved nearby a few weeks ago. Not sure if we’ve met, but you may have seen us around. I’m Dean.” He says, shaking his
hand. “Can I help?” He asks, indicating the car.

“Sure, if it’s not any trouble. I just can’t seem to find the problem.”

You watch as he works on the car and teaches your brother how to fix it. You smile at the sight of Dean Winchester hanging out with your brother, shaking your head at the absurdity of it. As they finish up, your dad’s car pulls in, and your brother is distracted by the arrival of your parents. Dean introduces himself as a new neighbour to your parents before saying goodbye to all three of them.

You had been watching the scene from afar, where you knew you wouldn’t be seen. Your brother helps them unload groceries from the car, the three of them laughing at something you can’t hear. Dean comes up to you, placing his arm around you. You wipe the tears from your eyes.

“Everything can go back to normal now.” He tells you.

“Look at them, this is normal now. I always thought if I wasn’t there they’d crash and burn, but they’re fine.”

You finally see your sisters as they come around the back of the house. Upon seeing them, you’re ready. “Let’s go back.” You say to Cas.

“We need to go somewhere more private for the spell.”

“Sure, let’s go that way, it’s pretty secluded on that street.”

“Wait, what’s going on?” Dean asks, confused.

“I’m not staying here. I’m going back, with you. If that’s ok.”

“But why? I thought this was what you wanted.”

You take a breath before turning to Dean and explaining yourself. “It was. When we got back that day from California it was.” You tell him. “When Naomi told me she had pulled the strings for us to meet, it was. But after what the cupid said, I wasn’t as sure anymore. I still felt like I had to return, for my family. They used to depend on me so much. But, they never needed to. I can see that now. They’re fine, and they’re happy. If I come back, I’ll never be. I couldn’t forget you and our time together, I’m sure of it. Even if Cas wipes my memories. Nor do I want to forget. I love you Dean.”

Dean sweeps you up in his arms so tightly that you’re lifted off your feet for a moment. He kisses you as he lets go, smile wide on his face. “I love you so much.”

Although you were ready to go, Dean wanted to stay a little longer. So you showed him where you used to work, the campus where you got your degrees, where you would go to socialize, your favourite shops and restaurants, and anything you could possibly fit in into one day. Dean wanted to see as much as possible. You didn’t quite understand why he was so interested, but to him it was a way to understand you, to see the places that helped shaped you into who you were. This was possibly his only chance to do so.

At the end of the day, you stop by your house one last time. You look at the lights come on inside as dusk darkens the world around you. You take one last look at the house now glittering with light, before turning your back on it forever, following Dean and Cas back to the place, and people, that now felt like home.

Sam hears Dean and Cas return to the bunker. He was worried they had been gone for so long, but then remembered it could not have been easy for Dean to say goodbye. The bunker already seemed a little different already. It would take some getting used to going back to the way things were. But he knew he couldn’t spend time dwelling on this. Dean was going to be sullen and refuse to talk about it and so he would need all the support Sam could
force on him. He’d already brought out the whiskey.

As the voices draw nearer, something sounds off. The conversation sounded happy, and it was more than just Cas and Dean. Going to investigate, Sam is astonished to see you.

“What happened?” He asks. “Did something go wrong?”

“More like very right.” Dean replies.

“I’ve decided to stay here.” You tell him.

“That’s awesome! But why?”

“I went back, because I thought I still wanted to return, but I had my doubts. I knew I needed to see both options in front of me to be sure. And now I am.” You smile at Dean, who hadn’t stopped smiling you since you got back.

“In that case, welcome home.” Sam says.

Chapter Text

“Hey.” Dean greets you, dropping casually on sofa next to you.

“Hi.” You turn to look at him briefly and give him a kiss.

“I owe you an apology.”

“What for?” You ask, brow furrowed in confusion.

“I missed your birthday. I noticed it that day I was helping you pack. I realize I missed it. I’m sorry.”

“That was ages ago, and you didn’t know.”

“Still, I want to make it up to you.”

“Oh yeah? How?”

“Let me take you out. Tomorrow?”

“Sure. Where are we going.”

“On a picnic.”

“A picnic?” You ask with a laugh.

“Yeah. Why? Can’t I take you on a picnic?”

“It just doesn’t seem like something Dean Winchester would do.”

“Yeah, well, I’m full of surprises.”

“Clearly.”

“Yeah. I’m very surprising.” He leans over towards you, face right up to yours, “In many. Different. Ways.” He interjects each word with a small kiss on your cheeks and then your lips.

“Now this is my Dean Winchester.” You tell him, pulling off his t-shirt as his hands find their way under yours.

You were right. The picnic was not Dean’s idea. It was Sam’s. Earlier that morning, Dean had talked to Sam. The two of them had been out getting some supplies when Dean pulled over the Impala to the side of the road.

“What’s up?” Sam asked.

“Listen, Sammy, I need to talk to you.” Dean said, looking anywhere but at Sam.

“Okay?”

“I’ve been thinking. This relationship. It’s pretty serious.”

Sam was confused at how nervous Dean was, especially talking about the two of you. For a brief second, he was worried Dean was having second thoughts about the two of you. But no, that couldn’t be. The two of you were very happy.

“Is everything alright, Dean?” He asks when Dean doesn’t elaborate.

“Yeah, it’s alright.”

“Good.”

“Actually, no it’s not.”

“What?”

“I wanna ask her to marry me, Sam.”

“Seriously?” Sam asks, smiling from ear to ear.

“Yeah. Here.” He hands him a small red velvet box.

Sam opens the box. “When did you get this?” He asks, surprised but excited.

“Three weeks ago. A few days after she decided to stay. I just haven’t been able to ask.”

“Are you afraid she’ll say no?” Sam asks, innocently.

“What? No, of course not! Would she?”

“I don’t know. Have you talked about marriage?”

“No. We never talk about that stuff. What if she says no?”

“Listen, she left everything behind to stay with you. I think she’s pretty committed.” Sam says, quickly trying to assure his brother.

Dean is somewhat mollified by this. “You’re right. But then I’ve been thinking, should we get married?”

“Are you afraid of commitment?”

“No. It’s not that. It’s just our lives, hunting, that kind of stuff’s not really synonymous with marriage and a white picket fence.”

“No. It’s not. And you probably won’t have the white picket fence. But I don’t think it’s weird to be married. I mean you’re together now. Will it really change much?”

“You’re right.” He agrees again, “but it feels too normal for someone like me.”

“I think that’s the real issue here Dean. But I think you deserve a little normal in your life.”

“Do you think she’ll like the ring?”

“Yeah, I think she will.”

“Good.”

“When will you ask her?”

“I don’t know.”

“How will you ask her?”

“I don’t know that either. Would she expect some big romantic gesture?”

“Why don’t you take her out? Something low stakes, just the two of you. Like a picnic? Might take some pressure off.”

“A picnic?” Dean asks. “Ok.”

The next morning, Sam and Dean are alone in the kitchen, Dean having woken extra early, largely because of nerves.

“How are you feeling?” Sam asks him.

“I don’t know.” Dean says, nervously fiddling with the cooler in front of him.

“I’m sure it will go well” Sam assures him.

“Am I doing the right thing?” He asks.

“Yeah, you are.”

“I don’t know. It feels wrong. I always thought it would be you, Sammy, doing the whole marriage thing.”

“Why not you too? Our lives aren’t very different. Besides, you’re older, you should be first.” When Dean doesn’t respond, he pats him on the shoulder, “Relax, by tonight we’ll have something to celebrate.”

“I can’t help but think of dad. What would he say? I mean we weren’t even allowed to talk about our lives growing up and here I am tying someone up in it forever.”

“I don’t know what dad would say, but I do know he would want you to be happy. Honestly Dean, he’s gone. Like mom, like Bobby, like so many other people we knew. But we’re still here and we have to keep living our lives. It’s
time you live yours Dean. Go. I’ll put some champagne in the fridge. And good luck.”

Dean nods and hugs him before he leaves to pack the Impala.

The weather was the warmest it had been all year, proving that it was truly summer now. You and Dean drove with the windows down, the wind blowing through your hair. You felt so light and free in the moment. Everything was
finally starting to feel right. Next to you, Dean was doing a good job of hiding his nervousness. Despite Sam’s placating, he was anxious. He could feel the little box in his pocket, a constant reminder of the task at hand.
You found a spot, an empty, but pretty, little park. The two of you spread a blanket under a weeping willow tree, the hanging branches providing shade but allowing flickers of golden sunlight to shine through like fairy lights.

Dean handed you a sandwich and a beer, watching intently as you bit into it.

“What? Did you poison it?” You ask jokingly, noticing he was watching.

“What? No! It’s a new recipe. I wanna know what you think.”

You take a bite out of the sandwich. “Damn, that’s good.”

“I am a genius.” Dean says with a satisfied grin.

“Well, there’s your retirement plan: Dean’s Diner.” You say with a laugh.

“Yeah, right.” Dean says, smile faltering a little. Your comment about the future had reminded him of why he was here.

Three hours later, having eaten your fill, you’re both still there under the willow tree. You were getting a little confused about why Dean had brought you out here today. There had been no mention of your birthday or anything
out of the ordinary all day. You also noticed Dean getting a little nervous from time to time. You hadn’t pushed him for answers, but your curiosity was too much now.

“So, this was in honour of my birthday?” You ask innocently.

“What? Uh, yeah. Happy birthday!” Dean says, unconvincingly.

“Uh huh. You know that sounded super fake, right?”

“Yeah. I do.” He agrees with a smile that looks more like a grimace. It was obvious he was hiding something.

“Ok then. Whenever you wanna tell me the real reason, I’ll be here.” You tell him, leaning back and closing your eyes.

Dean steels himself. “I wanted to talk to you.”

“Ok.” You say sitting up, giving him your attention. His eyes meet yours. You’re a little taken aback by his serious expression.

“We never really talk about the future.” He begins, confusing you even more. Dean Winchester wanted to talk about the future? “But there’s something I’ve been thinking about.” His gaze falters and he looks down.

You move closer to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Tell me.” You say.

Encouraged by this, he continues, “Before I met you, I was pretty sure what my life would look like ten, even twenty years down the line. A few one-night stands, Sam still hunting with me, and Cas, if I was lucky. Otherwise, I was alone and I was good with that. But now, I see you too. And it’s like the whole thing is less bleak. But there’s still stuff we’ve never talked about.” He stops again.

“To clarify, you now see one-night stands, Sam, Cas, and me?” You ask, arching an eyebrow.

“Not the one-night stands.” Dean laughs.

“Good. Glad we cleared that up. Go on.”

“I mean now, with you here, I feel like there are possibilities. Things that I couldn’t have dreamed of before. I want some of those things to happen.” He says, looking at you.

Your heart skips a beat. You were pretty sure you knew what he was implying but refused to acknowledge it before he did. “Like what?” You ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

Dean looks like he’s about to say one thing, but then he hesitates and changes tact. “But there’s things I still can’t see as possible. And I think we should talk about that.”

“I’m listening.”

“Like kids. I would love a family, but I don’t see a child fitting into our lifestyle.”

“You’re right.”

“And a normal home. The bunker works, but it’s not exactly the suburban dream home.”

“Who wants that?”

Dean laughs. “Many people would.”

“If you’re worried about that, I couldn’t care less, Dean.”

“But children. Would you be ok with not having a family?”

“To be very honest, I think I’d make a great parent. I have tons of practise. And I think for the same reason, so would you. But I never wanted kids.”

“Really?” Dean asks, surprised.

“Yeah. Seriously. Even before I met you. I wouldn’t mind them, but they weren’t a big goal. As for family, we have family. You, me, Sam, and Cas.”

“And you’re sure? You know I’d never hold you to it if you ever changed your mind.” He clasps your hand in his.

“I’m sure. You know what I used to see in my future, before I came here, before I met you? A lot of fog. Life is unpredictable, I’ve learned that the hard way over and over. I saw tough times but also happy times. I didn’t know
where I’d be or who would be with me. But you know what I see now? The same. Except, I also see you. Now when I look out into this fog, I’m not standing alone, you’re right there with me and that means everything to me. When
I chose to stay, I knew what I was getting myself into. It’s what I want. Now, I think there’s something you want to ask, you should ask it.”

Dean smiles and reaches into his pocket, pulling out a small red box. You sit up, biting your tongue to stop yourself from saying yes before he even asks. He kneels in front of you and opens the box to reveal an antique gold ring, a large ruby in its center, surrounded by tiny diamonds. “Will you marry me?” Dean asks, green eyes searching for an answer in yours.

Your vision blurs slightly with emotion. “Yes, of course Dean.” Was all you could manage to tell him. You try to hide your tears of happiness but it’s no use, you’re obviously crying as Dean takes out the ring. You offer him your hand, forgetting that you had the ring your mother gave you all those years ago on your finger. Dean gently pries it off, putting it on your right hand instead. He then takes his ring and slides it on your ring finger.

“It’s not the fanciest ring.” He tells you, looking down at it glittering on your finger. “It’s also not new, but I only used money I earned to buy it. No fake credit card.” He says with a laugh.

“Dean, it’s the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen. It’s as perfect in my eyes as you are. I love you.”

He pulls you close and kisses you. You close your eyes, tears still flowing, and sink into the perfection of the moment. Dean has one hand around your waist, the other in your hair. You’ve got one hand on his chest, the other
caressing his face. For these few brief minutes, the entire world is perfect, and no two people could be happier than you and him.

As you drive home towards the setting sun, Dean can’t keep his eyes off you, smiling bigger than you’ve ever seen before. The wind dries your tears, and you find yourself laughing at how perfectly and completely happy you felt.