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Chapter Text

Arthur parked his car and got out.  Walking in between the multiple emergency vehicles parked at the entrance of the New York City alleyway, he rubbed his shoulder.  It was dark, and the damp November night air did nothing to help the still lingering pain from two gunshot wounds.  Perhaps he should have taken a couple more weeks to recuperate.  Then again, this serial killer wouldn’t wait for him to heal.  This was his second kill in Arthur’s first week back at work.

“Detective Pendragon, good to see you back on the job.”

“Thanks, Jacobs,” Arthur nodded at his fellow detective.  “Thought you guys would have this monster off the street by now.”

“Would have but our resident serial killer expert had to go and get himself shot.”

Arthur smirked, “Next time, I’ll be sure to duck.”

Jacobs nodded and shook Arthur’s hand, “Glad you’re all right, Arthur.”

“So, what do we have?”

“Thirty-two years old, blonde, green eyes, nurse, she works at the hospital.  Her ID was on her uniform.  Her name is Katie Shaw.  Confirmed it with her driver’s license and her fingerprints are on file because of her job.  CSI is done with the scene.  The coroner is just waiting for you to give the word.”

Putting on latex gloves, Arthur crouched next to the victim and carefully checked her body.  He picked up the discarded bag looking through it for a phone knowing damn well that he wouldn’t find one. 

“It’s him,” Arthur said as he stood up and looked around the narrow alley.  “Her phone is missing, stab wounds match up.  It’s definitely him.  Dammit are we ever going to catch a break?” he said as he pulled off the gloves.

“Actually, we may have with this one,” Jacobs said, “We have a witness.”

Arthur spun on his heels, “You might have led with that, detective.”

“Yeah sorry, not sure how reliable he is.  He’s a street kid.  Seems clean…sober, but he is evasive and won’t tell us his name.”

“Where is he?”

“Over there,” Jacobs nodded to the end of the alley and a broken fire escape, “We gave him hot coffee and a sandwich.  He’s cold, scared, and doesn’t trust the police.  He was the one to call 911 though.  Said he borrowed someone else’s phone, called it in then stayed put waiting for us.”

Arthur turned, spotting the kid, he held the hot cup of coffee to his chest like a lifeline, long legs drawn up, wide fearful eyes darting from side to side, lips pressed together in a thin line.  He looked to be in his late teens, maybe early twenties, his jeans were dirty and torn, a thin T-shirt that might have once been white, under a blue-gray flannel button-down, and a brown coat that was far from warm enough for the late autumn nights.  He looked up then as if he felt Arthur's eyes on him.

“Where’s he from?” Arthur asked when the kid dropped his gaze and took a drink of coffee.

“No idea, he won’t tell us anything about himself.  Just said he saw the killer.  He was distraught.  Said he was too late to save her.”

“I’ll talk to him myself,” Arthur said as he examined the area around the woman’s body and checked the line of sight from different positions around her.  “Well, we can be certain of one thing, if he saw the killer, the killer saw him.  He’s not safe.”

“The kid has her blood on him.  For all we know he could be the killer,” Jacobs said.

Arthur shook his head and huffed a laugh, “I highly doubt that, he looks like he weighs barely one-fifty soaking wet.  There’s no way a kid his size is going to do this kind of damage.  Our killer is at least two hundred pounds and likely in his thirties, working class.”

“That fits what he told us he saw, a shorter but stocky man wearing a dark coat with a hood and tan canvas utility or military pants with multiple pockets, heavy work boots.”

Arthur ducked under the yellow tape again.  “Have the coroner put a rush on the autopsy and check for the killer’s usual signature.  I’ll handle this witness,” he said.

“Good luck with that, he’s a tough kid.  Seems like he has been living on the streets for a long time.  Not even Detective Dalton could get him to open up.

“Have faith, Jacobs, you know I have a way with people,” Arthur grinned. 

Arthur walked between the police cars and ducked beneath the broken fire escape just as the kid looked up, his frown deepened.  Arthur could feel his protective walls going up immediately as he crouched down in front of him.

“I’m Detective Arthur Pendragon.  I understand you’re my witness.”

“Might be,” the boy frowned, his gaze locking on Arthur’s as his lips parted in something resembling recognition.  “Wait, I know you.”

“You do?”

“Saw you on the tv at the shelter, you’re after that serial killer.  That man I saw…”

Arthur nodded, “I believe it was him.  Did he see you?”

The boy shook his head, “Not sure…probably.  I tried to help Katie, but it was too late.  She was already gone.”

“You knew her?” Arthur asked in surprise.

“Not well, just saw her around the neighborhood.  She helped me once when I fell and hurt my wrist.  She was kind,” he said softly dropping his gaze to stare at the depressingly empty cup in his hands.

“So, you don’t trust easily, do you?” Arthur asked.

“Can you blame me?  I’m surrounded by bad shit.  Every day, people hurting people, stealing from each other, killing…” his voice trailed off.

“Do you want to tell me your name?”

The boy studied him for a moment then let out a breath.  “Are you going to arrest me if I don’t?”

“No, but it would help me if I knew what to call you.  I can’t just call you kid.”

“Not a kid…far from it…”

“I need you to tell me what happened.  I need to know what you saw, heard, anything you can tell me that will help me catch Katie’s killer.”

“I’m in danger aren’t I?”

“Did you see his face?” Arthur asked.

“Just for a moment…a fleeting glimpse, not clear enough to identify him, but he won’t know that will he?”

“Do you have anywhere safe you can go?” Arthur asked.

“Oh yeah, not a problem, I have a penthouse downtown,” the kid said, rolling his eyes, “Round-the-clock security…”

“If you want, I can get you a place to stay.”

“No thank you.  I’m fine out here.”

“Come on, let me help you,” Arthur said, keeping his voice even.  The boy was jumpy, fidgeting with the zipper pull on his coat.  He knew instinctively that if he pushed too hard the kid would bolt.  He motioned toward the empty cup.  “I’ll make you a deal.  How about you come with me, I’ll get you more coffee and we can talk?”

“I guess so,” he said reluctantly and Arthur smiled, “But I’m still not telling you my name.”

“Fine, come on, let’s go.  There’s an all-night diner a couple of blocks down.  They are open all night and they have great coffee and delicious baked goods.”

“Bribery won’t work,” the kid said his blue eyes narrowing.

“Not bribery…call it payment for information,” Arthur said as he stood up.

The kid shrugged, “I guess I can live with that.”

As Arthur reached out a hand to help him up, he realized that the boy was a bit older than he originally thought, he was too thin and had dark circles under his eyes and a faint scar on his cheek.  His hands were frozen and he was trembling, his lips quivering as he shivered.

“How long have you lived on the streets?”

“Awhile.”

“Do you have a family?”

“Not anymore.”

Arthur glanced over at Jacobs who was looking at him with an impressed smirk.  He waved and put an arm around the kid’s shoulder without thinking.  He half expected him to pull away, but he didn’t.  For a moment it seemed as if he were fighting the urge to lean into Arthur’s warmth and Arthur was resisting the urge to offer it.

They walked down the street to the diner.  Arthur held the door open and the boy walked in and slid into the first red vinyl booth.  He folded his arms over his narrow chest and turned to look out the window. 

“Two coffees please, Cassie,” Arthur smiled at the waitress and then sat down in the booth across from him.  “Look at the menu, order whatever you want.”

“I’m fine.”

“When was the last time you had a good meal?”

“Um,” he thought for a moment then shrugged, “The sandwich the cops gave me.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow.  “Menu…order food, whatever you want, my treat.”

“I’m not telling you my name.”

“Okay fine, if you won’t tell me your name, I will just make one up,” Arthur grinned, his eyes twinkling with mirth, “How about Harvey or Larry?  Oh, I got it…George!”

The kid wrinkled his nose and shook his head.  “God, no…please.”  He let out a breath then mumbled something that Arthur couldn’t hear.

“Sorry?”

“I said you’re a pompous ass.”

“Getting on your nerves there, Bob…wait, no…Billy Bob?” Arthur chuckled.

“Okay stop…all right, fine…my name is Merlin.”

“Merlin?  Seriously?”

“Yes, seriously.”

“Nah, you look more like a Marvin to me.”

“Okay, I am out of here,” Merlin said and started to slide out of the booth, but Arthur grabbed his arm.

“Stay, please…Merlin, I won’t tease you anymore.  Merlin is a nice name.  Rather ironic actually, considering my name is Arthur.  Maybe we can be friends, yeah?”

“People like you are not friends with people like me,” Merlin frowned.

“Why not?”

“You know why not.  I am invisible.  People like you look right through me like I am not even there.  I don’t exist.”

“Merlin, I see you.  And I want to help you.”

“I can take care of myself.  Been doing so for a really long time.”

“How long?” Arthur asked.

Merlin settled back in the booth when the waitress placed two mugs on the table and filled them with hot coffee that smelled so good he nearly drooled.  He grumbled something then wrapped his frozen hands around the hot mug.  He looked at the detective thoughtfully then let out a breath.

“Since I was seventeen pretty much.”

“Seventeen?” Arthur asked, “What are you, like twenty-two now?”

“Twenty-four actually, two weeks ago.”

“You have been on the streets for seven years?” Arthur asked shaking his head.

“Mostly,” Merlin nodded, “Slept on a few couches here and there when sleeping outside meant turning into a human popsicle and ending up in the morgue.”

“You have no one?”

“My mom died when I was twelve and I never knew my father.  I ended up in foster care.”  Merlin shook his head, “Why am I even telling you all this?”

“I’ve been told that I’m a good listener,” Arthur said with a crooked grin.  “You can talk to me about anything.”

“What are you, a homicide detective or a therapist?”

“Both I suppose,” Arthur crossed his arms, “Part of my job is listening to and reading people.  Creating a profile for people who do bad things.”

“A profile?” Merlin asked, rolling his eyes.  “So, you’re trying to read me?  Is that it?  Attempting to figure me out?  Find out why I am homeless?”

“Maybe I am.”

“Good luck with that, Arthur.”

“What do you want, Merlin?” Arthur asked.

Merlin looked at him one eyebrow raised.  “No one has ever asked me that before.”

“And?”

“Does it matter?”

“Humor me.”

“I don’t know.”

“A home?  A job?” Arthur asked.

Merlin shrugged, “I do odd jobs here and there.  Hard to get a real job when you don’t have a permanent address.  Can’t get a permanent address without a real job.”

The waitress returned to the table to top off their coffee.  Merlin reluctantly ordered a double cheeseburger and fries and Arthur ordered a piece of apple pie with vanilla ice cream.

“Okay, I get it, you don’t want to talk about yourself.  How about you tell me what happened in that alley tonight?”

Merlin wrapped his hands around the mug again.  “I heard a muffled cry…a struggle.  I came around the side of the building and a woman was lying on the ground in a pool of blood.  He was standing over her.  I saw him remove her phone from her bag, he took a photo then he ran when I yelled for him to stop…as if he would.  I ran to Katie, but she was dead…I couldn’t save her.”

“You tried, that’s more than some people would do,” Arthur said.  “Can you tell me what he looked like?”

“He was white, stocky, a few inches shorter than me.  Tan work pants with multiple pockets and a heavy navy, or possibly black, coat with a hood.  Work boots.  His hood slid down and he pulled it back up quickly, but I saw him.  His hair is light blonde nearly white, but he wasn’t all that old, maybe mid-thirties or early forties.  He had a knife with a curved blade.”

“That is his weapon of choice,” Arthur frowned.

“Why does he take their phones?” Merlin asked.

“I think it is a trophy of sorts.  He disables the GPS and removes the SIM cards but not before sending a photo of the victim’s body to all their phone contacts.”

“Sick bastard.”

“I’ve been after this guy for more than a year.  He’s smart.  Technologically gifted.  His favorite victims are women in his age range.  Usually smart, with a career in healthcare.”

“Do you really think he will come after me?” Merlin asked.

“If he thinks you can identify him…I’m afraid so.”

“But I can’t…not really.  I didn’t get a good enough look at him.”

“I know him, he won’t take the chance that you can identify him.  Merlin, please let me put you up in a hotel for a while.”

“A hotel?” Merlin smirked, “Is that a proposition?  Because if it is sex you want…”  he wagged his eyebrows and laughed when Arthur’s face turned beet red.

“That’s not…no…definitely not,” Arthur shook his head.  “Why would you think that?  I just want to make sure you are safe.”

“Ah but you see, I know how to read people too. You Detective Pendragon…you are dedicated to your job, laser-focused, trying so hard to impress a controlling parent…father most likely.  You’re lonely and frustrated.  I heard that cop Jacobs say you just returned to work.  You were injured…”

“Shot actually,” Arthur said his voice flat.

“I’m sorry,” Merlin frowned.

“You’re right though, my father is controlling.  He got me on the force, but I busted my ass to get where I am now.  I earned it.”

“Let me guess, he wants you to get married and have kids to carry on his legacy and you can’t bring yourself to tell him that you are gay.”

Arthur nearly spit out his coffee, and Merlin gave him a cheeky grin.  “I—I am not gay…  Why would you think that I’m into men?  Besides, even if I were, I sure as hell wouldn’t proposition you, of all people.”

Merlin’s smile faded and he nodded.  “Right, of course…why would you want a filthy street kid.”

Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, that is not why.”

“Whatever, I get it.”

“No, you don’t.  I would never cross that line with a witness.  No matter how pretty they are,” Arthur said averting his gaze.

Merlin gave him a wide grin, “So, you’re saying I’m pretty?”

“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur said his eyes narrowing, lips quirking slightly.

“Shame,” Merlin said.

“What?”

“Just, well, if it were a proposition I would definitely be tempted.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow, “Really?”

“Yes, I mean, you’re kinda hot,” Merlin grinned, “For a cop.”

“I will admit, you are rather pretty,” Arthur chuckled, “For a street kid.”

“Then I was right.”

“Not exactly.”

“Okay fine, you’re straight then.”

“Something like that.”

“Oh, so then maybe it’s just me you’re attracted to.”

Arthur shook his head and huffed a laugh, “That is a distinct possibility.”

Merlin leaned back and crossed his arms over his chest as the waitress brought his burger.  Arthur reached over and stole a fry.  Why in the hell was this kid getting under his skin?  Why did he feel like Merlin was more than he appeared?

“This is good,” Merlin grinned as he took a second bite of the burger.

“The pie is good too if you want dessert after.”  Merlin leaned to the side digging into the front pocket of his jeans.  He pulled out a wad of bills, ones and fives, and a handful of change.  Arthur shook his head.  “I told you it’s my treat.”

“Thanks, but this is for food for my friend, Gwaine.  He hasn’t eaten in two days.  I need to take him something to eat.”

“I will pay for whatever you want to get for him too.”

“No, that wouldn’t be right.  I’ll pay.”

“Fine, here give it to me.  I’ll pay with my card,” Arthur said as he flattened out the bills and slid the change off the edge of the table into his cupped hand.  Where is this Gwaine?”

“He lives in the alley two blocks over, sometimes he hangs out in Central Park.  It’s Friday so he is probably in the Park.”

“What’s his story?” Arthur asked.

“Um, there was a car accident three years ago.  He was driving when a truck ran a stoplight and slammed into the car.  He survived with barely a scratch, his wife and five-year-old daughter were both killed.  He blames himself, poured whiskey over his grief, and lost everything.  His home, his job…everything.”

“And what’s your story, Merlin?”

“I was in foster care.  I turned seventeen I left.  Had nowhere to go.”

“Why did you leave?”

“Doesn’t matter that was a long time ago.  I don’t even remember their names.”

“Why do I not believe you?”

“Believe me or don’t, it’s no skin off my back.”

“Merlin, I’ve been with you less than two hours and it is clear to me that you are more than what you seem.  Most street kids I have come across have been drug addicts or victims of abuse and neglect.  Selling themselves for either food or a fix.  You’re not like them.”

“You have no clue what I have done or been,” Merlin said as he ate the last of his burger and started on the fries.  He frowned, his lips pressed tightly together again.  Arthur shook his head.

“I’m sorry.”

“Whatever.”

“I’m going to the restroom.  Don’t leave, please,” Arthur said as he slid out of the booth and headed to the back of the diner.

Merlin smiled at the waitress as she topped off their coffee again.  “Thank you, Cassie.”

“You’re welcome, sweetie,” she winked.

Turning to look out the window, Merlin shook his head.  He should leave before Detective Pendragon returned.  He could take care of himself.  The last thing he needed was the police following him around.  He had plenty of places to hide out.  If the killer wanted him he would have a hard time finding him.

“Here’s that to go order for you, darlin’,” Cassie said placing a bag of containers on the table.  “Here’s a thermos of hot coffee too.  You bring it back here anytime and I will fill it for you.”

“You didn’t have to do that.  Thank you.”

“I’ve worked here twelve years, I live just upstairs.  I’ve seen you around the neighborhood.  You’re a good kid…you don’t make trouble. Take care of yourself but don’t be afraid to accept help when it’s offered,” Cassie said, tilting her head toward the detective as he emerged from the bathroom and approached the booth.  “I couldn’t help but overhear,” she said to Arthur, “Arthur, you will make sure nothing happens to Merlin.  He’s a tough kid, but he needs protection.”

“I’ll do my best,” Arthur said handing her his card to pay the check.

Merlin slid out of the booth grabbing the bag of food and the thermos.  He headed for the door and walked out onto the sidewalk.  He considered just taking off, but something kept him from leaving.  Arthur came out a few minutes later.

“My car is back toward the alley, I will drive you to the park to deliver the food to your friend.”

“No, I can walk,” Merlin said, “I just…I mean, thanks for the food.”

“You’re welcome, but I am not done with you yet, so come on.”

“Detective Pendragon,” Merlin shook his head, “I don’t need your help.  I can take care of myself.”

“I know you can, but you went to all the trouble of getting the man food, he should at least get to enjoy it while it is warm.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

Arthur shook his head, “Merlin, the longer you argue the colder it gets.”

Merlin muttered under his breath as he gave up and followed him.  They reached Arthur’s car and he unlocked the doors.  He opened the passenger door and Merlin got in setting the food on the floor.  Arthur got behind the wheel, started the engine, then pulled out into the street.

“I mean don’t you have something better to do?  A killer to catch?”

“Yes, I have another murder to solve and you are the key to solving it.”

“So, you’re going to ride my ass…and not in the fun way.”

Arthur chuckled, “If that’s what it takes.”

“I do my civic duty and I get punished.  And you all wonder why people don’t want to get involved,” Merlin frowned.

“Punished?” Arthur asked shaking his head, “I fed you and I offered to get you a place to stay.  I am concerned for your safety, knowing that monster could come after you if he thinks you can identify him.  How is that punishment?”

“Sorry,” Merlin dropped his head, “I’m just not used to people giving a shit about me.  Most people pretend I don’t exist.”

“Well, get used to it.  I am not letting anything happen to you.”

“Because I’m your only witness.”

“Merlin, what you did…trying to help the victim, calling the police.  You didn’t have to get involved.  You’re an innocent, I cannot allow you to become his next victim.  So, if I have to ride your ass, as you so eloquently put it, to keep you safe I will.”

“But not in the fun way.”

“Not in the fun way,” Arthur smirked.

“Too bad, maybe I wouldn’t mind so much,” Merlin grinned.

“Right,” Arthur nodded, “So this Gwaine are you two involved?”

“Gwaine?” Merlin laughed, “No, he’s straight.  Was married for eight years.  Worked in construction.  I feel bad for him.  He had everything only to lose it in one fleeting moment because some fucking truck driver rode a barstool before climbing behind the wheel.  Now alcohol is destroying Gwaine.”

Arthur drove around Central Park and Merlin pointed toward the gates.

“Pull over here,” he said.

Arthur parked the car and Merlin got out.  Arthur followed him along the path.  He headed for a lone figure sleeping on a bench near the bridge.

“Gwaine,” Merlin shouted startling the man awake, “You eat tonight, my friend.”

“Merlin, my hero,” Gwaine said as he sat upright and accepted the bag of food and the thermos.

“Don’t lose the thermos, we get free refills,” Merlin said then took off his canvas coat putting it around the man’s shoulders.  “Are you all right?”

“Fine…I’m fine.  Who’s your shadow?” Gwaine asked as he motioned toward Arthur who was leaning against the railing of the bridge.

“Detective Arthur Pendragon.”

“Detective?  What did you do, Merlin?”

“Long story, but he thinks he is protecting me because I may or may not have crossed paths with the guy who has been killing all those women.”

“Merlin,” Gwaine’s forehead creased with worry, “You be careful.  If anything happens to you…”

“I’ll be fine.  I may not see you for a bit though so I wanted to bring you some food and coffee.  You keep my coat too, yeah.”

“No, you need it.”

“Arthur is getting me a place to stay for a while.  I will be okay.”

“Come with us, Gwaine,” Arthur said, “I can get you a place to sleep for a few days.”

“No, not me.  Life on the street is my penance.”

“Gwaine, come on,” Merlin said.

“Go without me,” Gwaine said, shaking his head, “You deserve help, not me.”

Arthur approached and handed Gwaine a business card.  “When you decide you want help, call this number and tell them I sent you.”

Gwaine looked at the card, “Leon Andrews?”

“He’s a good friend of mine.  He will help you get a job and a place to live.  When you’re ready, call him.”

Gwaine looked from him to Merlin then at the card again.  He gave a slight nod holding the card out to Arthur.  “Thank you, but I’m fine.”

“Gwaine, dammit, stop punishing yourself,” Merlin said placing a hand on his friend’s shoulder, “You still have a chance.  Stop being stubborn.  I’ve been out here seven years, I don’t know anything else, but you do.”

“Merlin, you know what I did,” Gwaine said, his voice breaking.

“You didn’t do anything.  It wasn’t your fault.”

“Thanks for the food, Merlin,” Gwaine nodded then pulled Merlin’s coat off pushing it back into his arms.

“Gwaine,” Merlin said softly.

“Go on, leave me be,” Gwaine said then looked at Arthur.  “You’ll keep him safe.”

“I will,” Arthur nodded.

Merlin backed away from the bench.  He knew his friend well enough to know that there was no changing Gwaine’s mind.  He put his coat back on then looked at Arthur who took a step closer to Gwaine and shoved a few twenties into his hand.

“Call Leon,” Arthur said with a nod then turned toward Merlin.  “Let’s go.”

“See you later, Gwaine,” Merlin said, “Take care of yourself.”

“You too, Merlin, thank you.”

Merlin turned to follow Arthur back to the car.  Arthur slid behind the wheel and watched Merlin get in the passenger seat.

“You tried, that’s all you can do.  Only Gwaine can decide when he is ready for help.”

“I know,” Merlin nodded, “Just…he doesn’t belong out here.  He had a life, a home, a good job, and a beautiful family.”

“I know, I’m sorry.”

“Thank you for what you did for him,” Merlin said.

“Hopefully he will call Leon.”

“So, where are you taking me?”

“I got you a room in a hotel a few blocks over.  You can stay there for a few days at least.  Until we can figure out what to do.”

“The NYPD is going to pay for me to stay in a hotel?”

“No, I am.”

“You are?” Merlin asked, “Why would you?”

“I told you,” Arthur smiled.

“You are a conundrum, Detective Pendragon.”

“That’s a big word, Merlin.”

“Shut up.”

An hour later, as promised, Merlin was following Arthur into a room in a hotel just a few blocks from his familiar neighborhood.  It was nicer than anywhere he had ever slept but not so nice that a homeless street kid would stick out like a sore thumb.

“You sure about this?” he asked.

“Yes, Merlin,” Arthur said.  “And here,” he handed Merlin a phone, “My number is in there.  It’s yours to keep.”

“You’re giving me a phone.”

“Merlin, you need to be able to call for help if something happens.”

“You just happened to have an extra phone?”

“I got it downstairs in the gift shop while you were in the bathroom.”

Merlin laughed and wagged his eyebrows, “How will I ever repay you?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Merlin.  I am not asking for anything in return.”  He went into the bathroom to look around.

“You should at least think about it.  You’re very tense…stressed…overworked.  It would help you relax and free up your mind,” Merlin said while bouncing on the end of the bed.

“Merlin…”

“Fine,” Merlin huffed.

Arthur shook his head, “Just stay put.  Watch crap TV and order room service.  No porn.  I’m generous but not that generous.”

Merlin flopped back on the bed, his eyes raking over Arthur’s body from head to toe.  He grinned and shook his head.  “I don’t need porn, I have a very vivid imagination.  And I am very good with my…”

“Merlin!” Arthur huffed, “I told you I’m not into guys and I even if I were I would not cross that line.”

Merlin tilted his head and his grin widened.  “Okay, so you have a girlfriend?”

“No,” Arthur shook his head.

“Who was by your side after you were shot?” Merlin asked, his expression growing serious.

“My pain in the ass sister…and my overbearing father.”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to pry.”

“Yes, you did,” Arthur smirked.

“Okay, maybe I did, but you’re helping me.  God knows why.  But you are and I just want to return the favor somehow.”

“Well, not like that.  Any other way but that,” Arthur said.  “How long has it been since you slept in a real bed?”

“I can’t remember.”

“Well, get some sleep.  I will come by in the afternoon.  Stay in the room.  Call me if anything happens or even if you just need to talk.”

“Well, I guess if I have to be on lockdown there are worse places,” Merlin said as he sat up, kicked off his shoes, and grabbed the TV remote. 

“Yeah,” Arthur smiled, “I am heading home, it’s three a.m.…make sure you lock the deadbolt behind me.”

“Night,” Merlin nodded, walking to the door.  He closed it and then locked the deadbolt.

Arthur left the room and headed for the elevator.  He ran his fingers through his hair and frowned glancing back toward the door of the room.  Merlin would be safe there, but he was still worried.  He knew this killer.  If he believed Merlin could identify him, he would not stop until he silenced him.

Walking through the lobby he looked around warily.  There were only about a dozen people mingling around including employees.  He nodded toward the head of security and the man nodded back knowingly.  Arthur had explained the situation to him and he promised to keep an eye on things and to watch out for Merlin.

Arthur frowned as he walked out the doors and headed for his car.

Merlin walked to the windows, made sure they were locked then pulled off his shirt and jeans and kicked off his socks.  He went into the bathroom and stood in front of the mirror.  He looked down to see a small travel bag on the counter with toiletries in it and a brand-new pair of flannel pajama pants.  He smiled.  Arthur.

Turning on the shower he sighed as he stepped beneath the stream.  It had been forever since he’d had a hot shower.  The shelters had showers, but they were usually barely warm.  Washing his body head to toe then his hair he let out a relieved breath and leaned up against the cool glass enclosure.  He smiled.  In less than eight hours his life had done a complete one-eighty.

He tried not to think about the fact that his actions put him on the radar of a hunted serial killer, he couldn’t help but be a little afraid.  Not only of the monster killing those women but of allowing himself to trust Arthur.  He had never in his life trusted anyone so freely. 

There was just something about the detective.  Yes, the man was ridiculously attractive, but there was also an odd familiarity.  A kindred spirit maybe.  Merlin shook his head and got out of the shower wrapping himself in warm soft towels.  He dried his hair and put on the flannel pants.  Whatever it was, Merlin liked the man.  He trusted him.  He just hoped he wouldn’t come to regret it.

Merlin crawled under the covers and picked up the TV remote.  He found a movie to watch and then laid back on the pillows.  He sighed at the unbelievable feeling of being in a bed with soft sheets and over-stuffed pillows.  Tears shined in his eyes as he thought about Gwaine out there in the cold.  He hoped that he would call Arthur’s friend and get some help.  He was startled when the phone chimed.  He picked it up and looked at the screen.

Are you awake?

Merlin smiled and texted back.

Just lying here appreciating this bed.

Arthur responded with a smiley face.

I’m sure.  Get some rest, see you later.

Merlin typed a reply and shook his head.

You too, thanks again.

Arthur replied again with a winking smiley.

You’re welcome.  Good night.

Merlin smiled.

Night, Arthur.

He put the phone back on the nightstand, turned off the TV, and snuggled down in the blankets again.  Closing his eyes, he fell asleep almost immediately.

Chapter Text

Arthur woke up to his phone ringing.  He groaned and rolled over, grabbed it off the nightstand, and swiped the screen blindly.

“Pendragon,” he muttered.

“It’s ten in the morning and you’re still in bed?”

“It’s Saturday, Morgana…what do you want?”

“How was your first week back on the job?”

“Like I was never gone.  Two more victims and we are no closer to catching the bastard.”

“I hear you have a witness for the one last night.”

“And just how do you know that?” Arthur asked, not holding back the annoyance in his voice.

“Jacobs, he put it in his report,” Morgana said.

“Right,” Arthur rubbed his eyes, “Yeah I have a witness that’s all I am confirming.”

“Where is he now?”

“He’s in a safe place.”

“You think he is in danger?”

“Yes,” Arthur said, “I have no doubt.”

“You need to bring him in.  He should be in a safe house.”

“Trust me, Merlin is safe.”

“Merlin?” Morgana asked, “Jacobs said he wouldn’t give his name.  Should have known you would get it out of him.”

“He’s a street kid, he doesn’t trust easily and I am not going to let anything happen to him.  He tried to save the victim and the killer saw him.”

“Father wants me on this case with you,” Morgana said.

“No, absolutely not,” Arthur said adamantly.

“Sorry, dear brother, he is the Commissioner.  You do not have a say in the matter.”

“Fuck,” Arthur rolled his eyes.

“I just made detective,” Morgana said, “You think I want to be stuck on this ongoing case with you?  Coming into this mess a year in is not exactly my idea of fun either, you know.”

“Fine, ask Jacobs to get you the files, go over them, and get caught up,” Arthur said.

“Already on it.  I want to meet with your witness.”

“I was planning on going to check on him this afternoon.  I put him up in a hotel.  He is badly in need of new clothes.  He’s been on the streets for seven years.  He has nothing and no one save for another homeless friend named Gwaine that I met.”

“Poor kid,” Morgana said softly, “I’m on my way to your place.”

“I need a shower and a shave.”

“I’ll let myself in.”

Arthur let out a breath.  “Fine, hurry up then.” 

He ended the call and then dragged himself out of the bed and into the bathroom.  He barely slept, unable to get Merlin off his mind.  What the hell was wrong with him?  Maybe what bothered him was the fact that Merlin had him figured out.  He was lonely and stressed and while he had never really questioned his sexual preferences, there was no denying the attraction and yes it was mutual.

Arthur showered and dressed, pulling on his coat just as Morgana let herself into his apartment.  He raised an eyebrow as she gave him a brilliant smile and kissed his cheek.

“You look like hell.”

“Considering I didn’t get to sleep until like six a.m., I look pretty good.”

“You would think with all the time off you would be well rested.”

“Yes, because convalescing from two gunshot wounds is so restorative.”

Morgana looked at him, tilting her head slightly.  “Maybe you came back too early.”

“I was going mad sitting around watching the news and knowing I should be out there on the street.  Four more victims in the time I was recuperating.”

“You can’t blame yourself,” she said.

“Can’t I?  I am supposed to be good at my job.  Nothing makes sense in this case.”

“You are the best, but you are human.”

“Do me a favor and tell our father that would you, he still doesn’t seem to grasp that concept.”

“It’s your own fault, you have exceeded his expectations in everything you do.  In his eyes, you can do no wrong.”

“I could say the same about you.”

“We are Pendragons, there is nothing we can’t do,” Morgana beamed and patted Arthur’s cheek.

“Right,” Arthur gave her a crooked grin.

“So, tell me about this Merlin,” Morgana said as she handed him the hot cup of black coffee she had picked up for him on the way over.  He nodded appreciatively and took a sip.

“Getting anything personal out of Merlin is like pulling teeth.  All I know so far is he’s twenty-four, I thought he was much younger at first.  He has lived on the street since he was seventeen.  His mother died when he was twelve and he never knew his father.  He ended up in foster care until he was seventeen when he ran away and ended up on the streets.”

“Why did you put him up in a hotel on your own dime?”

“Because I can’t let anything happen to him.  If he saw the killer the killer saw him.”

Morgana nodded, “All right, let’s go.”

“You’re so bossy,” Arthur rolled his eyes, grabbed a blue backpack from the sofa, and followed his overbearing sister out the door.

Merlin sat back on the bed with his phone searching the news for information about the serial killer.  He frowned as he read the news story about Katie.  She left behind a husband and a baby girl.  If only he had gotten to her faster.  If he had done more to stop her killer.  He had to help Arthur catch this monster.  Even if it meant using himself as bait.  There had to be a way of luring this killer out.

A text message came in a few minutes later from Arthur.  He opened it and laughed.

Merlin, for what it’s worth I am so very sorry.

Merlin typed a response.

Um, for what?

Arthur’s response was immediate.

I’m on my way, but I am not alone.  My sister is impossible to say no to.  She insisted on meeting you as our father put her on the case with me.

Merlin laughed and typed back.

Should I make a run for it?

Arthur sent a frowning emoji…

Don’t even think about it.  She’s harmless…mostly.

Merlin texted back.

Is that supposed to be reassuring?

Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door.  Merlin jumped up and looked through the peephole.  Seeing Arthur, he unlocked the door and opened it.  He found himself face to face with a gorgeous brunette with stunning jade-green eyes.

“Merlin, my sister Morgana…Morgana this is Merlin.”

Morgana eyed Merlin up and down and he suddenly felt very exposed still wearing the pajama pants and no shirt.

“Um, sorry I would have gotten dressed but I had nothing to wear,” he grinned shyly under her penetrating gaze.

“I’m certainly not complaining,” Morgana beamed wagging her eyebrows as she shoved half a dozen shopping bags into his hands.  “You are absolutely adorable.”

“What’s all this?” he asked in confusion.

“What’s it look like?  Arthur said you needed a new wardrobe.”

“To be fair I said he needed some new clothes.  You were the one who went overboard,” Arthur grinned.

Merlin looked in the bags.  “Thank you, but this is a lot.”

“Thank Arthur it was his credit card,” Morgana winked and pulled off her coat taking a seat on the end of the bed.  “This bed is rather hard.”

“Compared to a park bench it’s like sleeping on a cloud,” Merlin said as he pulled a blue shirt over his head.  It was a long-sleeved T-shirt, fitted with a round neck and three buttons.  It fit him perfectly.

“Perfect,” Morgana smiled.

Merlin glanced over at Arthur.  “Thank you,” he said tilting his head.  Arthur stared at him intently for a full minute before finally shrugging and averting his gaze.

“Now you can toss your old clothes.  These will be much warmer.  I got you a new coat too.  Can’t have you freezing to death.”

Merlin pulled the coat out of the bag.  It was dark gray, quilted, filled with down, and lined with a warm, soft flannel.  It had a hood and tons of pockets.  Tears came to his eyes as he held the coat against his chest.

“Oh, Merlin,” Morgana said wrapping her arms around him, “Don’t cry, sweet boy.”

“Sorry, just…no one has ever done anything like this for me before,” Merlin said then huffed a laugh and swiped at his eyes.

“You deserve it,” Arthur said as he met Merlin’s gaze over Morgana’s shoulder.  He felt a warm sensation wash over him as he looked into those wet blue eyes.  He couldn’t have looked away if he’d wanted to and Merlin smiled awkwardly.  Arthur cleared his throat and nodded.  He knew he was in trouble the second Morgana turned and caught the exchange between them.  “I mean, it’s the least I can do,” Arthur said, shaking his head dismissively before averting his gaze.

“Of course,” Morgana said her eyes narrowing suspiciously.

Merlin draped the coat over a chair and then went into the bathroom to get dressed.  He closed the door and pulled out the package of underwear and socks.  There were three more shirts in different styles and colors and three pairs of jeans.  Two blue and one black pair.  He shook his head when he pulled out the box that held a brand-new pair of black boots.  There were two belts, one black, and one brown.

Putting on the underwear, he then pulled on the blue jeans and grabbed the brown belt, worked it through the belt loops, and fastened the buckle.  Grabbing a pair of socks and the boots he left the bathroom and walked out to sit on the bed putting them on.  He then stood up and Morgana swirled a finger in the air for him to turn around.  She reached out and tugged on the belt.

“My brother got your size just right,” she said with a sparkle in her eyes.

“Yeah, even the boots,” Merlin grinned.

“What?” Arthur asked, “Being observant is part of my job.  Means nothing.”

“Right,” Morgana said eyeing him with curious amusement.

“Thank you, Arthur,” Merlin said.

“You’re welcome,” Arthur said as he glanced out the window.  They were on the sixth floor, but he double-checked the locks anyway.  “Nothing unusual happened today?”

“No, I refused housekeeping though.  Didn’t want to let anyone in,” Merlin said as he went into the bathroom to brush his unruly dark curls.  “I really need a haircut,” he said.

“No, your hair is perfect,” Arthur said from the doorway blushing as Merlin grinned at him.  “Shut up.”

Merlin walked out of the bathroom and opened the dresser putting away his new clothes.  Morgana watched him and Arthur closely with a hint of a smile. 

“Arthur, are you really going to make poor Merlin stay locked up in this room?”

“For a few days, yes,” Arthur said, “I need to keep him safe.”

“Would you do this for every witness?” Morgana asked raising an eyebrow.

Arthur glared at her knowing full well what she was getting at.  “Only the ones who are in immediate danger because they crossed paths with a fucking serial killer I have been hunting for a year,” he snapped.

“Merlin, what did you see?” Morgana asked.

Merlin looked at Arthur who nodded and tilted his head toward his sister.  “She’s my partner on this now.  Go ahead.”

“I was walking through the alley heading for my usual sleeping place.  I heard a muffled cry and a struggle.  I rounded the corner and there was a woman on the ground the guy was going through her bag and took her phone.  He took a photo of her.  I yelled at him to stop his hood slipped down I caught a quick glimpse of him.  He pulled the hood back up and took off.  I went to the woman…Katie, to help, but she was already dead.  I borrowed a phone from someone and called 911 and waited around for the cops.  He was a bit shorter than me and stocky, dark coat, work pants, and heavy boots.  He had whitish-blonde hair.”

“You must have been scared,” Morgana said.

“If I had been quicker, maybe she would still be alive,” Merlin said softly.

“No, Merlin,” Arthur said putting a hand on his shoulder, “This guy, he goes for the kill.  It’s instant.  She was probably dead the moment he grabbed her.”

Merlin shook his head, “What kind of man knows how to kill like that?”

“A monster,” Morgana said.

Arthur thought for a moment then met Merlin’s gaze.  “Military…trained military soldiers know how to kill quickly and efficiently.  He’s probably military.”

“That makes sense,” Morgana nodded, “Merlin, you’re a genius.”

“I knew there was a reason I kept you around,” Arthur said then pulled his phone out of his pocket.  “Yea, it’s Detective Pendragon.  I need you to check military records for anyone with a history of violent crimes in the New York area.  Anyone in the age range of our killer that fits the description I emailed you this morning.  Special forces, anything.  Yes, I know it is a long shot, just do it.  It’s a lead.”  He ended the call and looked at Morgana.  “You have any ideas?”

“Yes, actually I do,” Morgana said, “Let’s order room service and watch a movie.”

“I was referring to the case,” Arthur said.

“We are taking care of our witness.  If he has to stay on lockdown the least we can do is keep him company.  What do you think, Merlin?”

“I’d like that,” he grinned then turned to Arthur, “I like her, she’s nice.”

“See, he is a genius,” Morgana beamed at her brother.

“Yeah well, he didn’t have to live with you all these years.”

Merlin smiled sadly, “Take it from someone who has no one else…appreciate each other.”

“Oh, Merlin,” Morgana said launching herself into his arms and kissing his cheek.  She looked at her brother and smiled, “Whatever happens, you’re not alone anymore.  You have me and Arthur to look after you now.”

“You two are both nuts, I’m nobody…just a street kid.  When this is over I’ll be back out there where I belong.”

“Is that what you want, Merlin?” Arthur asked.

Merlin shook his head, “It’s not about what I want, it is who I am.”

“I don’t believe that,” Morgana said.

“Neither do I,” Arthur said.

Morgana turned and bounced on the bed grabbed the room service menu off the nightstand and picked up the phone.  She ordered an obscene amount of food.  Arthur approached Merlin putting his hand on the back of his neck.

“She’s right, you know,” he said then ruffled his thick dark hair, “You’re not alone anymore and if I have anything to say about it, you’ll never sleep on the street again.”

“Arthur, I am not worth all this.”

“Can you honestly tell me that you miss sleeping in an alley not knowing where your next meal is coming from?”

“Of course not, but what makes me any better than the hundreds of other homeless people out there?  I don’t deserve to sleep in a soft bed any more than they do.  Gwaine deserves to be taken care of.  Not me.”

“Gwaine will be taken care of,” Arthur said and Merlin looked at him.

“What do you mean?”

“I called Leon this morning, he and his wife Gwen are going out to find him today.  Leon has a job for him, in construction.  He will have a place to live and a steady income.”

“Gwaine won’t accept it,” Merlin shook his head, “He is stubborn and he can’t forgive himself.”

“Leon and Gwen will convince him.  They won’t take no for an answer.  Gwen is also a grief counselor.  If anyone can help him deal with what happened, it’s her.”

Merlin’s eyes filled with tears.  “Thank you,” he smiled with a slight nod.

“You’re welcome,” Arthur said.

After two movies and far too much food, Morgana got up and grabbed her purse and her coat.  She winked at Merlin and then kissed her brother’s forehead.

“You’re ready to go,” he said getting up from the chair.

“I called a cab, you stay.  I have a date tonight,” she said.

“With who?  Are you still seeing that lawyer?”

“No, I found out he was married.  Useless ass.  I am going to a play with Percival.”

“Oh, I thought you didn’t like dating cops, much less big muscular ones.”

“He’s sweet and he’s not married,” Morgana shrugged, “See you later.  Merlin, it was wonderful to meet you.  We will catch this guy now that I’m on the case. I promise you.”

“I should drive you,” Arthur said getting up from the chair.

“Taken care of, dear brother.  I will see you later.  Love you, even if you are a pain in my ass.”

“Love you too, even if you are a witch,” Arthur grinned and hugged her.  “I guess having my sister for a partner might not be so bad.”

“Don’t tell father that, or God forbid, he will make it permanent.”

“Right.”

“See you both later,” Morgana said then slipped out the door.

“That was fun,” Merlin grinned.

“She’s a bit overbearing.”

“Must be a family thing,” Merlin chuckled as he got up off the bed.

“Funny…very funny,” Arthur said while gathering up the empty food containers and putting them into a trash bag.  He watched as Merlin went into the bathroom to wash his hands and face.  He was still staring when he turned around and their eyes met.  “Um, I should probably get going too.”

“Arthur, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.  Oh, I brought you a backpack of snacks, some notebooks, pens, and a few books.  I know it can’t be fun being stuck in this room.”

“Why are you doing all this for me?”

“I told you why.”

Merlin closed the distance between them, looking into Arthur’s blue eyes.  “Morgana’s right, you wouldn’t do this for just any witness.”

“I feel responsible for you, that’s all.”

“Well, you’re not.”

Arthur averted his gaze and finished gathering the trash.  “I guess you will need to have housekeeping come in tomorrow.”

“Arthur, stop it, please,” Merlin said, firmly and Arthur turned and dropped the bag by the door.  “You don’t have to do this.”

“Yes, I do.  I have to because I can’t let anything happen to you.  I can’t let that bastard get his hands on you,” Arthur said running a hand through his dark blonde hair.  “It’s my job to keep innocent people safe and I have failed to do so too many times.”

“Is this about you getting shot?” Merlin asked his voice soft.

“No—no, I don’t know, maybe.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“That is the last thing I want to talk about.”

“Just saying, maybe I’m not the only one who needs taken care of.”

“I assure you, I can take care of myself, Merlin.”

Merlin moved closer his eyes drifting to Arthur’s mouth and then back to his eyes.  He gave him a half smile.  His long slender finger hooked through Arthur’s belt loop and Merlin shook his head slightly, his gaze heated and curious.

“Perhaps you just need someone who understands what you really want,” Merlin said, his lips just a hairsbreadth away from Arthur’s.  He breathed out sharply and surged forward pressing their lips together.  His heart stuttered when Arthur moaned.

“Merlin, dammit, no,” Arthur turned his head and pulled away trying to ignore the flash of disappointment and regret in Merlin’s eyes.

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have done that,” Merlin said then moved away.

“I have to go…now,” Arthur said then grabbed his coat and headed for the door.  “Lock this behind me,” he hesitated for a moment, “Merlin…”

“Right…yeah, lock it behind you…got it.”

Arthur looked like he wanted to say something else, but instead, he shook his head and walked out of the room.  Merlin nodded and walked to the door, locked it then turned around leaning back against it.  He let out a long low sigh.

“Stupid move, Merlin, you idiot.  Now you’ve ruined everything,” he said aloud then his lips parted in a soft smile, “But God, it was worth it.”  He moved away from the door walking to the windows to look outside, watching for Arthur to emerge from the building.  It was ridiculous the longing he felt for this man he’d barely known for a day, but he couldn’t deny it was real.

Arthur nearly ran to the elevator and couldn’t get to his car fast enough.  His breathing was erratic, his heart pounding.  Merlin had kissed him.  His lips were still tingling from the brief contact.  He’d never had such an intense reaction to a kiss before…from anyone.  It was all he could do to keep from going back up to that room and giving in to what Merlin was offering with that kiss.  God, he was lonely.  And not just for the sex, but the closeness, the being with someone to who he felt a deep connection.  Merlin…the damn kid had gotten under his skin and made him feel things he had no business feeling…not for someone so vulnerable and Merlin was definitely that.  No, he could not…would not use him in that way.

Sliding behind the wheel of his car, he started the engine and pressed his hands to his face.  He could still see the look in Merlin’s eyes…the longing and the sadness.  He was alone in the world and he wanted Arthur of all people…why would he want him?  He had no idea what to do.

“Dammit,” Arthur said, smacking the wheel with both hands.

Merlin flopped down on the bed and turned on the tv, finding another movie to watch.  It wasn’t five minutes before there was a knock on the door.  He smiled and got up, going to answer it.

“Changed your mind?” he asked as he flung the door open.  He barely registered the familiar face staring back at him before he was struck and everything went black.

“Dammit, Merlin, answer your phone,” Arthur said as he paced the floor in his apartment.  He thumbed the screen and called the hotel.  “Security please, this is Detective Arthur Pendragon, I am calling to check on my witness.  He is not answering his cell phone.”

“Detective, I was just about to call you.  I was making my rounds the room is empty the door was wide open.  We have searched the building, but he is nowhere to be found.  The TV was on and his things are still in the room.  His phone is gone.  I have already called the police.”

“Goddamn it,” Arthur yelled, running a hand through his hair.  “I’ll be right there.  Do not let them touch anything in the room until I get there…understand.”

“Yes, sir…the room is secure.  No one but me has been inside.”

“Thank you,” Arthur said as he ran out of his apartment.  Arthur reached the hotel in minutes having run every light.  He exited the elevator to find several officers standing in the hallway.  “Have you found him?”

“Detective Pendragon,” one of them said, “I am officer Halsey.  We haven’t found him, but there is something you should see.”  He held out a tablet with security footage.  A figure in a coat with a hood at the door and Merlin opening it.  The man hit him and Merlin fell to the floor unconscious.  The man entered the room and dragged Merlin further inside not even bothering to close the door.”

“That’s it?  That’s all the footage you have?” Arthur asked.

“Whoever that was, they dragged him down the fire escape.  There were traces of blood and a piece of torn fabric.”  Halsey handed him the small evidence bag, the piece of fabric was from the blue shirt he’d bought him.  Arthur fought the rush of emotions…the wave of guilt.  If only he had stayed…

“I want every available man on this.  The guy who grabbed Merlin is the serial killer we have been after.  He saw his face when he killed Katie Shaw.”  Arthur swallowed hard then shook his head.  “He will kill him if he hasn’t already.”

“Yes, sir,” officer Halsey said then went to pass on his orders.

“God, Merlin,” Arthur said softly as he walked into the room.  He reached down, picking up the new coat he’d bought for him.  “Son of a bitch,” he muttered then, taking the coat with him, he climbed out the window and down the fire escape.  The bastard had taken Merlin, he was out in the cold with no coat.  He made his way down the alley checking every dumpster and every doorway.  Why would the killer take Merlin?  This was not his usual pattern of behavior.  He killed without hesitation.  Which meant that he had something else in mind…he wanted Merlin. 

Arthur’s phone rang and he swiped the screen.  “Pendragon.”

“Detective Pendragon, we have a match on that lead you called about earlier.  His name is Gideon Martin, dishonorably discharged for attacking a fellow soldier, put the man in traction.  He was special forces and has a disciplinary record a mile long.  He lives in Brooklyn.  Apparently, he was married for ten years, but when he was kicked out of the military his wife left him.  He’s thirty-five, no children that we know of.  This could be your guy.”

“Do you have an address for him?” Arthur asked.

“No known address, but he works at a cold storage facility.  I’ll text you the address of the warehouse.”

“Thank you,” Arthur said then hung up.  With one last glance around the alley, he turned and headed for his car.

Merlin woke up, he was cold.  Colder than he ever remembered being.  He shivered then realized why.  He was tied to a metal chair in a cold storage locker.

“This can’t be good,” he said out loud, wincing at the pain in his head.

“Ah, sleeping beauty has awoken at last.”

Merlin huffed a laugh, “I am surprised I’m even breathing.”

“I couldn’t very well kill you in the hotel, now could I?  That would be so messy…I don’t like messy.  I much prefer the outdoors…the elements.  There’s nothing quite like autumn in New York…it’s cold, but the ground is not quite frozen…much easier to bury the bodies.”

“You’re fucking insane,” Merlin muttered.

“Insanity is all relative.”

“I think it’s safe to say, yours definitely were,” Merlin smirked.

“Clever…not to mention utterly and obnoxiously snarky.”

“It’s a gift,” Merlin shrugged.

“It seems our favorite detective is quite fond of you.”

“You’re wrong, he doesn’t care about me.  I am just a witness to protect, nothing more.  And you know what is ironic and funny?  I didn’t even get a good look at you the other night.”

“No matter, killing you is a bonus.  It’s Arthur Pendragon I want.”

“I hate to break it to you, but he doesn’t swing that way.  Believe me…I wish he did,” Merlin said.

“Aww, did he reject you?” the man chuckled, “What a shame.”

“If you think he’s going to come looking for me, you’re going to be disappointed.  I guarantee he will cut his losses and move on to the next lead,” Merlin said, “He’s not going to risk his life for me.  I’m no one.  He will assume I’m already dead.”

“Ah, but you are so wrong.  You see I know Arthur.  I study him as he studies me…we may be enemies, but I do admire him.  He is relentless and will always protect those he cares about.  At times to his own detriment.  He proved that the night he got between a bullet and that bitch.”

“You shot him,” Merlin stared in disbelief.  This guy had blown past certifiable, switched tracks at lunatic junction, and derailed at psychopath station.  “It was you.”

“Yes, well that wasn’t part of the plan.  Caused me a lot of trouble too.  I only meant to take her out.  He got in the way.  She was not worthy of a man like him…no woman is.  Why can’t he see that?”

“What do you mean it caused you a lot of trouble?” Merlin asked, his eyes narrowing.

“You keep asking me all these questions, Merlin.  It’s not like you are going to live long enough to do anything with the information.”

“Then there’s no harm in answering them, is there?” Merlin shrugged.

“No, I suppose not.”

“You know my name, but I don’t know yours.  You may as well tell me, you’re going to kill me anyway.”

“Why are you not afraid of me?”

“Merlin huffed a laugh, “I’ve lived on the streets since I was seventeen.  It takes a lot to scare me.”

“So it would seem.”

“Why did you kill all those women?” Merlin asked, “What did they ever do to you?”

“My bitch wife left me after I was discharged from the military.  Women are useless…manipulative and they lie.”

“Can’t imagine why she left, considering your obvious penchant for violence.”

“You know nothing about me,” the man hissed.

“We could start with your name?”

“Gideon Martin,” he said flatly.

“I would say it is nice to meet you, Gideon, but well…it isn’t,” Merlin said.

“Gotta say, you’re braver than you look.”

“Would you mind turning up the heat?  It’s a tad nippy in here.”

“Actually, we are going for a little trip,” Gideon smirked.

“Oh, how nice.  What shall I pack?  Somewhere tropical I hope.”

“Funny…you’re funny.”

Merlin waited while Gideon untied him from the chair and then tied his hands behind his back.  He winced as the movement jarred his bruised shoulder.

“Your hospitality leaves much to be desired,” Merlin frowned.

“Shut up,” Gideon grumbled as he shoved Merlin out of the room and into the warehouse.  He forced him into the open trunk of his car and slammed it shut then got behind the wheel.  Starting the engine, he drove toward the exit and pulled out of the warehouse turning onto the nearly empty street.  He drove toward Central Park checking his rearview mirror.

Arthur spotted the car as it pulled out of the warehouse and turned onto the street.  It had to be Gideon, the place was shut down, and no one else would have reason to be there at this hour.  He followed at a safe distance.  He could only see one person in the car and he prayed that Merlin was alive and that he was in that car.  It didn’t take long to figure out where Gideon was going…Central Park, one of his favorite hunting and dumping grounds for his victims.

Arthur’s heart sank, either he was taking Merlin there to kill him or he was already dead and planning to dump his body in the park.  He pressed his foot down on the accelerator and passed the car as it pulled into the park and stopped.  He drove around the corner then parked and drew his weapon before heading through the trees back toward Gideon.

As he rounded the wall and crossed the bridge he spotted Merlin struggling against his captor's hold.  Gideon had his knife pressed to his throat to control him as he dragged him toward the trees.  Arthur stepped out of the shadows and leveled his weapon.

“Release him, Gideon,” Arthur said, keeping his voice even, “It’s over.  I know who you are.  Let him go.”

“Detective Pendragon, I’ve waited for this moment for a very long time.”

“Arthur don’t,” Merlin said, “Just walk away.”

“Not happening, Merlin.”

“I was right,” Gideon smirked, “You do care about this street urchin.”

“Dammit Arthur,” Merlin said, “Leave me…run, he is the one who shot you.”

Arthur looked at Gideon, “Is that right?”

“I assure you, it was not my intention to shoot you.”

“You shot my girlfriend,” Arthur said and Merlin looked at him in surprise, “Mithian was innocent.”

“She was using you…causing you to stray from your pursuit of me.  I couldn’t have that…not part of the plan,” Gideon shook his head.  “It was just a mistake, but I paid the price.”

“What are you talking about?” Arthur asked.

“You’re meant for a higher purpose, Arthur Pendragon.”

“What purpose is that?  Enlighten me.”

“It is not for me to reveal.  He will decide.”

“Who is he?” Arthur asked, shaking his head.  This guy was delusional and deeply disturbed.  One wrong move and he would kill Merlin.  His knife was too close to the main artery, it wouldn’t take but a few seconds for Gideon to sever it and for Merlin to be bleeding out on the ground.  He had to be careful.

“Let’s just talk about this, Gideon.  Let Merlin go and I’ll drop my gun.  We can settle this little misunderstanding.”

“I let him go you will put a bullet between my eyes.”

“Arthur…” Merlin winced as the blade drew blood.

“Hold on Merlin,” Arthur said softly as he crept closer until he was no more than six feet away.  “Release him, Gideon.  There’s no way out of this.”

Merlin met Arthur’s gaze, pleading silently with him to just go, to leave him.  He could feel the knife at his throat.  He could also feel the cold steel of the gun tucked into Gideon’s belt.  If he could just get one hand free…

“Gideon there has been enough bloodshed.  Let Merlin go, take responsibility for what you have done,” Arthur said.

“Either I die here or die in prison it doesn’t matter.  But I am taking him with me.”

Gideon shifted the knife away from Merlin’s skin, just a fraction of an inch.  Merlin slipped his right wrist free of the rope and threw his head back, Gideon howled in pain as the impact broke his nose.  He growled and his arm came down across Merlin’s chest driving the knife in at an angle.  Merlin screamed in pain but still managed to grip the 9mm yanking it from Gideon’s belt as he fell to the ground and rolled.  He raised the gun and fired at the same time as Arthur.  Gideon fell backward and was dead before he hit the ground.

“Merlin!” Arthur cried out as he dropped to his knees next to Merlin and grabbed his phone dialing 911.  “Merlin, hold on,” he said as he put pressure on the knife wound.

“I’m okay,” Merlin said weakly as he struggled to sit upright.

“Dammit, Merlin, you’re not okay.  Lie still.”

Merlin fought to remain conscious.  He saw flashing lights and heard voices.  Arthur’s voice was the clearest.  Arthur was there.  Arthur had come for him.

“Merlin,” Arthur said his hand against his cheek, “Still with me?”

“Messed up my new clothes,” Merlin chuckled.  He looked up to see tears in Arthur’s eyes.  “Sorry.”

“Merlin, I’m sorry,” Arthur’s voice broke, “I was supposed to protect you.”

Merlin cried out in pain as the paramedics lifted him from the ground.  “Ow, fuck…that hurt,” Merlin muttered.

Arthur climbed into the back of the ambulance with him and took hold of his hand.  He lifted it gently, pressing his lips to Merlin’s bruised knuckles.  Merlin looked at him and gave him a weak grin.

“Did you just kiss my hand?”

“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur rolled his eyes.

“Arthur…”

“Yeah?”

“Whatever happens…”

“No, you’re going to be fine.  Don’t say it…”

“Just…thank you…Arthur, thank you for caring about me,” Merlin said his voice wavering as he slipped into unconsciousness.

“Merlin,” Arthur pleaded silently for the ambulance to move faster.

“Save him, please…he can’t die.”

The paramedic nodded in understanding as she worked on Merlin.

Chapter Text

Arthur was pacing the hallway of the hospital when Morgana arrived with Percival in tow.  She threw her arms around her brother’s neck.

“What happened?” she asked.

“After I left the hotel, Gideon grabbed Merlin.  He must have been watching us the whole time.  I followed them to Central Park.  The bastard stabbed him in the chest.  He is in surgery.  It doesn’t look good, Morgana.”

“Merlin will be all right, he is tough.  He’s going to pull through.”

“I should have protected him,” Arthur said, “I should have taken him to my place.”

Morgana stared at him, “I’ve never seen you like this with anyone, Arthur.  What’s going on with you?”

“I have no fucking clue.  I can’t…I can’t deal with this…” Arthur said then spun on his heels.  He felt dizzy and reached out to brace himself against the wall, palms pressed flat against the textured surface.  He lowered his head, his chin close to his chest.

“Oh, Arthur,” Morgana said as the puzzle pieces came together.  She wrapped her arms around him from the side.  “You’re in love with Merlin.”

“I’m not in love with him,” Arthur said firmly then slipped away from her, “Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I saw the way you two looked at each other.  There’s something between you, no matter how much you try to resist it.”

Arthur clasped his hands behind his head and huffed a laugh.  “I’m thirty years old, Morgana.  I am not supposed to feel…like…”

“Like?” she asked waving her hand, trying to drag it out of him.

“Like a damn lovesick fool.”

“You have to tell him, Arthur.”

“I will if he…”

“Merlin will be fine.”

“He lost so much blood,” Arthur shook his head, “I can’t lose him.”

“Detective Pendragon…”

Arthur turned as the surgeon approached.  “How’s Merlin?”

“He’s out of surgery.  It was touch and go for a while, but he is going to make a full recovery.  He is a lucky young man.  The knife missed his heart by a fraction of an inch.  The angle it went in…let’s just say Merlin must live a charmed life.”

“Can I see him?” Arthur asked, letting out a relieved breath, “He has no family.”

“You can as soon as we move him into a room.  I will have the nurse come get you once he is settled.”

“Thank you, Dr. Jonas,” Arthur nodded.

“You’re welcome, Detective Pendragon.”

Arthur turned to see Morgana smiling brightly at him.  “Told you he would be fine.  Now you have to tell him how you feel.”

“Yes, I know I do,” Arthur said as he wrapped his arms around his sister, “I love you.  Thank you.”

“Love you too, my brother,” Morgana said.

Nearly two hours later, Arthur walked into the room and stopped as he looked at Merlin.  His skin was paler than usual, his hair was a dark curly mess.  He moved next to the bed and gave in to the urge to gently smooth it down.

“Merlin, it’s Arthur…I’m here.”

Merlin’s eyes fluttered open and he smiled groggily.  “Hey.”

“Hey,” Arthur grinned.

“Still alive then…”

“Yes, you are.  The doctor said you must lead a charmed life, the knife barely missed your heart.”

Merlin laughed then winced.  “Charmed, right…”

“Merlin, I’m so sorry.”

“For what?”

“I fucked up and you nearly died.  I shouldn’t have left you there alone.”

“I shouldn’t have opened the damn door.  I thought…” Merlin frowned, “I thought you had changed your mind and well, I really wanted…” He looked at Arthur, “I shouldn’t have kissed you.  I know you don’t want me in that way.”

“Yes, well, about that,” Arthur said as he ran his fingers through Merlin’s hair his voice trailing off as he struggled to put the words together in any sensible way.

Merlin shook his head slightly, “It’s okay, Arthur…you don’t have to say anything.”

“No, it’s really not, because I have been lying to myself from the moment we met.  You make me feel things that I have no idea how to deal with.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Arthur nodded, “God, I wanted so badly to go back to that room.  If I had gone back…if I had not walked out on you…you wouldn’t be here like this.  You nearly died, Merlin, and I can’t lose you.”

“Guess I will just have to stick around then,” Merlin smiled.

“This is all new to me, so you’ll have to be patient,” Arthur said.

“I can do that.”

Arthur leaned over and pressed his lips to Merlin’s forehead, his eyes wide and searching.  He buried his fingers in his dark hair and smiled then, shaking his head, he gave in and kissed Merlin slowly and tenderly, pouring everything he felt into it.  Merlin kissed him back his hand coming up to grip Arthur’s shirt drawing him closer.  Neither of them heard the door open and Morgana giggled.

“Sorry to interrupt,” she beamed.

Arthur drew back and tenderly wiped a stray tear from Merlin’s cheek then gently ran the pad of his thumb across his full bottom lip. 

“No, you’re not,” he grinned.

“You’re right, I’m not.  I came to tell you I am leaving.  Percival is taking me home.”

“Thank you for being here,” Arthur said as he embraced her.

“You’re welcome,” Morgana said then she moved to the bed.  “Merlin, I will see you soon.  I am so glad you’re going to be okay,” she kissed his cheek and winked.

“Thank you, Morgana,” Merlin smiled, “You should take Arthur with you, he’s exhausted.”

“As if he would go.  He is not leaving your side.”

“Not until I am sure you’re out of the woods,” Arthur nodded.

“Oh, father called he told me to tell you good work and to call him when you get a moment.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, “Good work…he would say that.  If not for Merlin I would be dead and Gideon would still be out there.”

“I don’t think so,” Merlin said, “Gideon didn’t want you dead, he shot you that night, but he was trying to kill your girlfriend, not you.  He called her a bitch and said that she wasn’t worthy of you.”

“He admitted to being the shooter.  But why Mithian, she is the sweetest person.  She was good to me in the months we were together.  It was I who hurt her.”

“He hates women…he hates you but at the same time he admires you…respects you.  The man was a sociopath.  Certain things he said…Arthur, something feels off about all of this,” Merlin said.  “That comment he made about someone else revealing your higher purpose…”

“You think there is—was someone else pulling Gideon’s strings?” Arthur asked.

“It’s possible.”

“Well, thanks to you the world has one less monster.  See you both later.  Get better Merlin, and Arthur you get some rest.”

“Yes, your highness,” Arthur chuckled.  After Morgana left Arthur moved closer to the bed.  “Are you all right?” he asked, “Are you in a lot of pain?”

“Not at the moment, lots and lots of pain meds,” Merlin grinned.

“I’m going to look after you, Merlin.  When you get out of here I’m doing what I should have done from the start and take you home with me.  I have a three-bedroom apartment, you will have your own bedroom and your own bathroom.”

“You want me to stay with you?”

“I want you to live with me, Merlin.  I am not letting you go back out on the streets.”

“Arthur…”

“No argument, Merlin,” Arthur said.

“Not arguing, Arthur,” Merlin shook his head, “I just don’t want you to feel obligated or pressured into anything out of some misplaced sense of guilt.  What happened was not your fault.”

“It’s not out of guilt.  It’s out of the need to have you close and to know you are safe.”

“Are you certain?”

“Absolutely,” Arthur nodded.

“All right,” Merlin smiled.

There was a knock on the door and Arthur turned.  “Come in.”

The door opened slowly and Gwaine stepped into the room.  He looked at Arthur and then Merlin with a relieved smile.

“Gwaine!” Merlin said with a wide grin.

“Thank God,” Gwaine said as he approached the other side of the bed and put a hand on Merlin’s arm.  “I heard what happened.  I had to come, to see for myself that you were okay.”

“I didn’t expect to see you here,” Merlin said, “I know how you feel about hospitals.”

“Yes, well, you mean more to me than anyone, Merlin.  The thought of you being hurt…possibly dying.  I had to come.”

“I’m all right, really.  You look good.  You’re sober.”

“One step at a time,” Gwaine smiled.

“You took Leon up on the offer?” Arthur asked.

“Yeah, I resisted at first, but Gwen…Gwen is hard to refuse.  Leon too.  I’m going to give it a shot.  I still can’t forgive myself and I will never forget, but my wife and daughter would not want me to keep living this way.”

“I’m glad, my friend, you mean a lot to me too,” Merlin said.

Gwaine smiled, tilting his head toward Arthur, “Seems like things are looking up for you as well, my friend.”

“Yeah, when I get out of here I will be staying with Arthur.  At least until he gets sick of me and kicks me out.”

“That isn’t going to happen, Merlin,” Arthur shook his head.

“Merlin, I think you need to accept that you have someone who cares about you and wants to look after you,” Gwaine said, meeting Arthur’s gaze for a moment before looking at Merlin again.  “It’s time, you deserve a good life.  You don’t belong on the streets.”

“I will if you promise me that you will too,” Merlin smiled.

Gwaine nodded looking down at his hands on the bed rail.  “I won’t promise, but I will try to keep it together.  For them.”

“For you,” Merlin said.

“Arthur, you’re a good man.  Thank you for what you did for me and for not giving up on this stubborn ass,” Gwaine tilted his head toward Merlin as he held out his hand and Arthur shook it.

“You’re welcome, Gwaine.  If you need anything call me,” he said then handed him a card.  “Merlin’s phone number is on the back of the card.”

“I don’t even know where my phone is.  Gideon took it.”

“I got you a new one and a new number,” Arthur said.

“Aren’t you spoiled,” Gwaine chuckled.

“Yeah,” Merlin smiled at Arthur.

“Well, I am going to take off, I have a session with Gwen in an hour.”

“Good luck, Gwaine,” Arthur said.

Gwaine moved toward the door and waved then left.

“He looks good,” Merlin said, “I hope he doesn’t backslide.”

“Don’t worry, Leon and Gwen will do everything they can to keep him on the right path.  I will keep tabs on him too.”

“Arthur, thank you…for everything.”

“You don’t have to thank me.  It’s kind of my job to take care of people.”

“So, I am just your job?” Merlin raised an eyebrow.

“I think we both know that is no longer the case.  I’m usually better at keeping my personal feelings separate from the job.  There’s just something about you, Merlin.”

“I’m irresistible,” he smiled.

“Right,” Arthur said.

Merlin shifted his position and winced.  Arthur took hold of his hand. 

“Do you need me to get the nurse?”

“No, I think I just need to sleep.  You should go home.”

“Actually, my father just texted me.  My presence is requested in his office.  I don’t want to leave you alone.”

“Go, Arthur,” Merlin smiled, “I’m okay.  I’m just going to sleep.”

Arthur nodded, “All right, but I won’t be long.  Here’s your new phone.  I had Jacobs bring it, he also brought your clothes from the hotel room.  They are in the backpack in the closet.  You can call or text me if you need anything else.”

Merlin took the phone and sat it on the table next to the bed.  “Promise you will go home and get some rest, at least a few hours.”

“I promise I will take a nap,” Arthur said.  He tugged gently at Merlin’s hair then caressed his cheek.  “Merlin…”

“I know,” Merlin said.

“Okay, I’ll call you later.”  Arthur leaned over and kissed Merlin then drew back and smiled, “Have to say, I really like kissing you.”

“Good to know,” Merlin grinned.

“See you later,” Arthur kissed him again then backed away from the bed a few steps before turning toward the door.  He stepped out into the hallway, ran a hand through his hair as he smiled and shook his head then walked out of the hospital.

“Arthur, thank you for coming.  How’s the witness?” Uther Pendragon asked as he entered his office to find his son nodding off in the chair.  “Have you slept?  You look like hell.”

“Father, I have been up for nearly thirty-six hours.  You wanted to see me, I’m here.”

“I want to know what the hell you were thinking putting a witness up in a hotel.  Why didn’t you bring him in and arrange a safe house?”

“Extenuating circumstances,” Arthur frowned, “He has been homeless on the streets for seven years and he doesn’t trust the police.  I thought it would be better if I handled it myself.  Obviously, I was wrong.”

“Yes, you were, but thankfully everything worked out.  You got the killer.  Morgana tells me this Gideon Martin is the man who shot you.”

“Yes, he more or less bragged about it to Merlin.”

Uther’s eyebrow rose, “Merlin…what is it about this boy that has you so off-kilter?  It’s not like you to make mistakes, Arthur.”

Arthur huffed a laugh, “I’m still trying to figure that out.”

“Your sister thinks something is going on between the two of you.”

“Yes, well Morgana has a big mouth.”

“Then it’s true?” Uther asked.

“Maybe,” Arthur frowned, “I’ve never felt like this for anyone before.”

“He’s very young, Arthur.  Did it not occur to you that he could be using you?”

“Ah, yes, you would think that.  No, Merlin is not using me.  It took a lot of persuading to even get him to let me help him.  He did not want to stay in that hotel, and said he would be fine on the street.”

“Well, I don’t like it.  I want you to get him set up in a shelter, give him some cash, and let him go.  He is not good for you.”

Arthur looked at his father, his eyes narrowed dangerously.  “I refuse to abandon Merlin just because you see him as a worthless street bum.  He is more than that to me.  He deserves a chance at a good life.”

“A life with you?” Uther asked with a smirk.

“Yes,” Arthur said adamantly, surprising himself as much as his father.  He shook his head slowly.  “I cannot explain it, but I felt a connection to Merlin from the moment we met.  I want to be with him.  Even now, sitting here with you, all I can think about is how he is alone in that hospital room and that my place is by his side.”

“You are thirty years old, Arthur.  I have never known you to show any proclivity toward same-sex relationships.”

“You say that as if it is a bad thing,” Arthur rolled his eyes.

“Not necessarily, I just find it strange that this young man has become so important to you in such a short time.  Perhaps you should distance yourself from him for a while until you sort out your feelings.”

Arthur laughed and leaned back in the chair.  “Do you really think I don’t know my own mind…my own heart?  While I admit I have never been attracted to men before, I am absolutely certain of my feelings for Merlin.  Nothing in my life has ever felt more right.  I won’t let him go.”

“I just want you to be careful.  You are a Pendragon and the person you end up with must be worthy of that name and the wealth and power behind it.  This boy is a common street urchin.  Who knows the things he resorted to in order to survive all those years…drugs, prostitution…”

Arthur stood up abruptly, leaning forward bracing his hands on his father’s heavy oak desk, his eyes blazing.  “Enough, father!  Just stop.  I have followed in your footsteps my entire life.  I have done everything you wanted of me.  This is my life.  I am absolutely falling for Merlin and I will not allow you to denigrate him.  If you ever say anything like that about him again...”

Uther flinched, taken aback by the rage in his son’s tone.  “I only want the best for you, Arthur.  Everything I’ve ever done has been to make sure you had every opportunity to succeed in your career and your life.”

“You may have given me the opportunities, but I busted my ass to get where I am.  That was all me.  This…my personal life, is mine…you have no say in it.  Merlin is going to live with me when he gets out of the hospital.  I am going to look after him.  And while we are figuring out our relationship, you will treat him with respect and never question his intentions.”

“Arthur…”

“I mean it, father,” Arthur said, “If you interfere, I will leave the force.”

Uther’s eyes widened in shock, “Arthur, surely you don’t mean that.”

“Oh, I do.  God knows I have thought about it before.  I could take my experience and my abilities and go anywhere.”

“I didn’t realize you were so unhappy here, Arthur.”

“Yes, well nearly dying tends to change a man,” Arthur said as he straightened and headed for the door.  “Now, I am going home because Merlin made me promise to get some rest, and that is what I am going to do.”

“He cares for you then?” Uther asked.

“Yes, he does.”

“Good, I’m glad.”

“Give him a chance, father.”

“For you, I will…now go get some sleep, son.”

Arthur nodded and then left the office closing the door behind him.  He entered the elevator and pressed the button for the precinct level.  He reached his desk and checked his messages.

“How’s Merlin?” Jacobs asked as he put a hand on Arthur’s shoulder.

“He’s going to be all right.”

“That’s good news.  Hopefully, it softens the bad news I have for you now.”

Arthur turned to face him.  “What is it?”

“Autopsy is complete on Gideon Martin,” Jacobs handed him the report, “They ran DNA against the evidence from all the case files on the other murders that he committed.”

“And?” Arthur asked.

“And there was a match but only to six of the murders.”

“How is that possible?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.”

“Contaminated samples?”

“One or two I would say yes, but this is more than twenty.”

“Fuck,” Arthur sat down and rubbed his eyes, “So what do we have?  A copycat?”

“Actually,” Morgana said as she walked in and dropped a file on the desk, “Gideon was the copycat.  I checked his movements compared to each murder.  He wasn’t even in the city for several of them and for two he was locked up for assault and battery.  Here’s the kicker, someone got the charges dropped.  Someone who wanted him out on the streets.”

“The real killer,” Arthur said, pinching the bridge of his nose, “Son of a bitch.”

“The silver lining is that Merlin witnessed Gideon murder Katie Shaw.  The real killer won’t have any reason to go after him.  He should be safe.”

“Unless the real killer takes offense to having his favorite pawn off the game board,” Arthur said as he immediately picked up his phone and ordered a guard to be posted outside Merlin’s room.

“I will keep digging, Arthur,” Morgana said, “You look like you’re about to drop.  Go home get some rest.”

“I can’t go now,” he frowned.

“You can.  Merlin will be protected.  There is nothing you can do tonight.”

“Morgana…”

“Arthur, go home or I will have Jacobs handcuff you and force you to go.”

“Fine,” Arthur nodded, “I will go, but you call me immediately if you find anything.  Jacobs, please go to the hospital now.  Make sure the officer assigned to watch Merlin understands the situation.  I do not want Merlin to know until I can tell him myself.  Keep this quiet, we do not want the media getting wind of this yet.”

Jacobs nodded then left, heading for the elevator.

“I will handle it, Arthur,” Morgana said, “Trust me.  I want this bastard too.  You are not going to help anything if you are dead on your feet.”

“I know, you’re right,” he let out a heavy breath, “I really thought this was over.”

“We will get him,” Morgana embraced her brother, “I love you…now go.”

“I’m going,” he grumbled.

Morgana steered him to the elevator pushed him inside and waved goodbye as the doors closed.

Merlin woke up glancing out the window to see the sun had gone down.  He pressed the button to raise the head of his bed just a bit.  It hurt.  The nurses had come in and given him more pain meds.  He grabbed his phone to see if there was a text from Arthur.  There wasn’t.  He hoped that meant he was asleep.  He sent a text.

I just woke up.  Yay pain meds.  Hope you are sleeping.

Merlin glanced up at the door as it opened and his nurse came in.  He caught a glimpse of an officer in uniform standing outside his room.

“Why is there an officer out there?” he asked her.

“Detective Pendragon arranged for protection,” she smiled.

Merlin frowned, why would he need protection if Gideon was dead?  What was going on?  He shifted position and winced as the nurse adjusted his pillow for him and checked his wound.

“You’re going to be all right, Merlin,” she smiled, “Nothing to worry about?”

“Yeah, except the hospital bills,” he grinned.

“That is not your concern.  You just need to focus on healing.  What is your pain level right now?”

Merlin shook his head and focused for a moment.  “Um, maybe a six.”

“Let me talk to the doctor and see if we can change your pain meds,” she smiled and headed for the door, “I’ll be back in a bit.”

“Thank you,” he nodded.

Picking up the phone again he sent another text.

Arthur, what is going on?  Why is there a guard outside my door?

He waited, staring at the phone there was no response.  He opened contacts and found Morgana’s phone number and dialed it.

“Detective Morgana Pendragon,” Morgana said.

“Morgana…”

“Merlin, are you all right?”

“I’m fine, just confused.  Why is there a guard outside my hospital room door?”

“Didn’t Arthur talk to you?”

“I haven’t talked to him and he hasn’t answered my texts.  Where is he?  Is he all right, has something happened?”

“Arthur left the precinct more than five hours ago,” Morgana said her voice tinged with worry.

“What’s going on, Morgana?”

Morgana released a breath.  “Merlin, Arthur didn’t want me to say anything to you, but Gideon was a copycat.  The real killer is still out there.”

“But Gideon…he killed all those women.”

“We can only connect him to six of the murders.  We believe he was just a pawn, a scapegoat, or a protégé of the real killer.”

“Then why protect me?  I have no connection to them.”

“Arthur just wanted to make sure you were protected in case they took offense to you and Arthur taking Gideon off the board.”

Merlin frowned trying to remember anything Gideon did or said that would lead to the real killer.  He closed his eyes.

“Merlin?”

“Morgana, Gideon said he shot Arthur, said it caused him a lot of trouble…the real killer wants Arthur for some higher purpose.  Whoever he is, Gideon must have angered this man by shooting Arthur.”

“The real killer…a puppet master,” Morgana said, “Dammit.”

“You have to find Arthur, he’s in trouble,” Merlin said.

“I’ll call you back,” Morgana said then ended the call.

Merlin immediately dialed Arthur’s number.  It rang four times and then went to voicemail.  He swore under his breath and dialed again with the same result.  He sent a text message.

Arthur call me or Morgana, please!!!

He had a very bad feeling.  Shoving his blankets down he gingerly slid his legs off the bed.  His feet hit the floor and he stifled a whimper of pain as he made his way to the closet and opened it pulling out the backpack.  It took a while but he managed to get his jeans on and maneuvered himself into a black T-shirt and his coat.  He put on socks and shoved his feet into his boots.  Slinging the backpack over his shoulder he went to the door.

Merlin looked out the narrow window and noticed the guard was at the nurses’ station across the hall getting a cup of coffee.  He quickly slipped out the door and headed for the elevator.  As soon as he was on the street he dialed Morgana’s number.

“Merlin?”

“Yeah, it’s me.  The chicken has flown the coop.  I’m going to look for Arthur.”

“You left the hospital,” Morgana shrieked, “Merlin get your cute little bottom back there now.”

“I’m fine, I have to find Arthur.”

“I’ve got people tracking the GPS on his phone,” Morgana said, “It’s at his apartment but he’s not answering.”

“Morgana, something is wrong, I can feel it.  He’s in trouble.”

“Dammit, Merlin, fine, where are you?  I will pick you up.”

“I’m on 58^th and 8^th heading toward Central Park.”

“Meet me at the Columbus Circle entrance,” Morgana said, “I am ten minutes away.”

“All right,” Merlin said then ended the call.  He pressed his hand to his chest and walked faster ignoring the pain.  Everything in him knew that Arthur was in trouble.

He reached Columbus Circle and scanned the crowd and the cars.  He spotted a black Lexus with Morgana behind the wheel.  She pulled over and he opened the door getting into the passenger seat. 

“Merlin, you are pale as a ghost, you should be in the hospital,” Morgana said as she pulled back onto the street.  “Arthur is going to go ballistic.”

“He can lecture me after we find him,” Merlin said, pulling out his phone.  There was still no text and no call from Arthur.  “There’s no way he wouldn’t answer my call.  Something has happened to him.”

“God, I hope you’re wrong,” Morgana frowned, “But you’re right.  He would answer your call or call you back.”

“What’s the deal with Gideon?” Merlin asked.

“DNA evidence matched him to only six of the murders.  There are at least twenty more that are believed to be the killer.  He’s a copycat or a pawn.  He was out of the city for some and in jail at one point.  Someone got the charges dropped and he was released.  That someone wanted him on the street taking attention away from them.”

“Why was Arthur worried about me?”

Morgana smiled, “You know why.”

Merlin nodded slowly, “Yeah.  Morgana, I’m not good enough for him.  I’ve already brought him nothing but trouble.”

“Believe me, my brother got into plenty of trouble, all by himself, long before you came along.”

“What happened, when Arthur was shot?”

Morgana shook her head, “He won’t talk about it.  All I know is he was at the theater with Mithian, they were leaving the play.  There was a gunshot and he didn’t have his gun on him as he was off duty.  Mithian was hit he tried to protect her when he was hit twice…the lower left side of his back and the other went down through his shoulder and punctured a lung.”

“And Mithian?” Merlin asked, “Gideon said he was trying to take her out, that she was interfering, and wasn’t worthy of a man like Arthur.”

“She was hit in the upper thigh, she was fine.  Arthur broke up with her immediately after.  He was afraid for her safety.  He thought she was collateral damage, I guess now we know that she was the intended target.”

“And that’s why he is worried about me.”

Morgana turned down a one-way street and then into the underground parking garage.  She parked the car and got out, Merlin followed slinging the backpack over his shoulder.  He winced and Morgana stopped.

“Are you all right?  You should still be in the hospital.”

“Let’s just go,” Merlin said, “I need to know Arthur is okay.”

They rode the elevator up from the garage to the top floor.  Morgana pulled a key out of her bag and unlocked the door.  They walked in and looked around. 

“Arthur!” Merlin shouted.

“Arthur,” Morgana called out and headed for the bedroom and Merlin followed.  She checked the bathroom there was no sign of Arthur.  “Nothing looks out of place,” she said.

Merlin pulled out his phone and dialed Arthur’s number.  The ringing was muffled and he looked around following it as it kept ringing.  He dropped to his knees bending over to look under the bed.  He reached underneath grabbing the phone.  His eyes tearing up from the pain in his chest.

Morgana helped him up and then pulled up his shirt to check his would, there was a trace of blood on the bandages.  “Merlin, we need to get you back to the hospital.”

“No,” Merlin said firmly and swiped the screen on Arthur’s phone.  There was a text message.  “Fuck,” he growled and Morgana took the phone and read it out loud.

“Detective Pendragon, it seems a meeting is long overdue.  Do you want to know the truth?  To know your importance in this game?  Come alone, no phone, no gun.  Cross me and those you love will die.”  Morgana pulled up the map app on her phone and punched in the address.  “It’s a warehouse on the waterfront.”

“Let’s go,” Merlin said heading for the door.

“The only place you’re going is back to the hospital, young man.”

“Morgana, I have to do this.  Either you take me with you or I will go myself.”

“You’re as stubborn as my brother,” she shook her head, “All right come on, but you stay in the car when we get there.  If I let anything happen to you Arthur will have my head.”

“Sure, I’ll stay in the car,” Merlin said with absolutely no intention of doing so.

Morgana went into Arthur’s closet and unlocked the gun safe pulling out Arthur’s main weapon and grabbing a 9mm for Merlin.  “You obviously know how to use this,” she said handing it to him.

“Yeah, I do,” Merlin said as he checked the clip was full and grabbed the extra from her hand then he tucked it into his inner coat pocket and headed for the door.  Morgana locked up and put Arthur’s gun in her bag.

“I should call this in, but if this monster sees cops he could kill Arthur,” Morgana said as they reached her car.

“We need to handle this alone,” Merlin nodded, “This guy is ruthless.  I think he is military, like Gideon.  They may have even served together.  It would explain how they know each other…how they crossed paths.”

Morgana started the engine and pulled out of the garage and onto the street.  It was nearly midnight.  Traffic was light as they headed toward the waterfront.  It was only a twenty-minute drive from Arthur’s apartment.  They spotted his car in the parking spot near the bridge.  Morgana drove on by it and parked closer to the river.

“Come on,” she said.

“Thought you wanted me to stay in the car,” Merlin smirked.

“As if I’d trust you to do as I ask?  You’re adorable, Merlin.  We are just a young couple out for a midnight stroll along the river.”

“Yes, darling,” Merlin winked, walking around the car to open her door.  She got out, slid her arms around his waist, pulled him close, and kissed him a bit longer than necessary.

“Damn, why can’t you be straight?” she asked, patting his cheek as she wiped her lipstick off his lips.  “If Arthur asks, it was to maintain our cover.”

“Well, if it makes you feel any better, if I were into women you would be the one,” Merlin smiled and kissed her cheek.

“Actually, it does,” she said then took hold of his hand.

They walked along the river to the end of the dock then crossed the street beneath the bridge and headed for the warehouse.  Merlin pulled out his gun checked it again and released the safety.  Morgana had hers out already and leveled on the door as they moved silently along the side of the crumbling brick building.

She motioned for Merlin to keep behind her as she checked the door, it swung open with a scraping sound.  The inside was dark except for a line of industrial lights overhead.  They moved quietly sticking to the shadows.  In the middle of the room was a concrete pit.  They couldn’t approach it without being seen by anyone watching from the catwalks above.

“We’ve got to get closer,” Merlin whispered.

Morgana nodded, “Go ahead, I’ll cover you.”

Merlin walked toward the pit with Morgana at his back scanning the catwalks.  There was no movement, no sounds from above.  He reached the edge of the pit and looked down.  Panic washed over him as he saw a beaten and bloodied Arthur tied to a chair his head down.  Morgana gasped as she saw him.

“Merlin, can you…” she asked, but Merlin was already shoving the gun into his coat pocket and scrambling down the ten-foot metal ladder to the bottom of the pit.  He reached Arthur’s side.

“Please, please be alive,” he muttered under his breath as he gingerly touched the side of his neck and felt for a pulse.  Arthur’s eyes fluttered open.  He looked up at Merlin and coughed violently.

“What the hell are you doing here?” he asked his voice hoarse.

“Saving your ass it seems,” Merlin smiled through his tears.

“You’re supposed to be in the hospital.”

“What were you thinking coming here alone?”

Arthur huffed a painful laugh, “Thought I could handle it.  Obviously, I was wrong.”

“Where is he?”

“I don’t know.  Not sure how long I was out.”

“Can you walk?” Merlin asked.

Arthur nodded, “Yeah, I think so.”

Merlin cut the zip ties on Arthur’s wrists and the ropes on his ankles.  He moved so that he could brace Arthur against the side opposite his knife wound.  Pain shot through his chest though as he helped him to his feet.  Arthur noticed.

“Merlin…”

“I’m okay, let’s just get you out of here then we can both go to the hospital.”

“Morgana we’re coming up,” Merlin called to her and she hurried to the top of the ladder holstering her gun as she helped get Arthur up the ladder.

“I called for help.  The ambulance should be here in a few minutes,” Morgana said as she wrapped her arms around her brother.  “You’re an idiot.”

“Sorry,” Arthur shuddered as she held him.

The paramedics arrived and checked Arthur over then loaded him and Merlin into the back taking them to the hospital.  Morgana took care of securing the scene and getting investigators into the building to look for any evidence.  She was furious. 

“Are you all right?” Jacobs asked as the ambulance disappeared around the corner.

“No, I am fucking pissed,” Morgana said her eyes wide and flashing with rage as she stormed back into the building.

Jacobs’ eyes widened in respectful fear.  Whoever was behind this was about to find out just what happens to anyone who messes with Morgana Pendragon’s family.  She was on the warpath and blood would flow.  He shook his head and then followed her into the warehouse.   

Merlin stayed by Arthur’s side in the emergency room while doctors examined him.  He had bruised ribs and cuts and bruises all over his body, a chipped tooth, and a cut on his tongue where he bit it while being used as a punching bag.  He had a slight concussion and a swollen eye.  There were knife cuts on his throat and a shallow stab wound on his side.  Merlin shook his head.  If the killer wanted Arthur dead he would be dead.  Something was off about all this.

Arthur looked over at him and then motioned to the doctor.  “Please check his wound.  He’s in pain.”

“I’m not surprised,” Dr. Jonas said as he shook his head and frowned at Merlin.  “Come on, off with your shirt I need to check your sutures.”

“I’m fine, really, just give me some pain meds.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said pointedly.

Merlin rolled his eyes and then carefully removed his T-shirt.  As his chest was revealed there were streaks of blood on the bandages.  The doctor removed them and redressed it.

“You’re lucky,” he said, “The bleeding was minimal, I won’t readmit you, but you are to rest and take it easy for at least two weeks.”

“What about him?” Merlin asked, nodding toward Arthur.

“I’m going to let him go home as well.  Maybe you can keep each other out of trouble long enough to heal.”

“Thank you, Dr. Jonas,” Arthur smiled.

“I will get the discharge paperwork for you both, should be ready in an hour or so,” he said then left the room. 

Arthur held his arm out to Merlin and he moved into his embrace.  They held each other for several minutes ignoring their mutual pain.

“God, I was so scared,” Merlin said softly as his hand cupped the back of Arthur’s head.  “I thought…” he choked on the words.

“I know, me too,” Arthur said into the crook of Merlin’s neck.

“Never do that again.”

“Merlin, he is evil.  He’s going to hurt you, Morgana, my father…everyone I love unless I do what he wants.”

“What the fuck does he want?” Merlin asked.

“Me,” Arthur frowned, “He wants me.”

“Fuck him,” Merlin said as he drew back and shook his head, “I am going to make him pay for what he did to you.”

“Merlin, no, you need to stay out of this.”

“I’m in this all the way, Arthur.  Either we work together or I go after him on my own, but I am going to get the bastard.”

“I can’t lose you, Merlin—can’t let him get you.”

Merlin leaned in and gently kissed Arthur’s swollen and cut lip.  “You’re not going to lose me.  God, Arthur...”

Arthur caressed Merlin’s cheek, “I know, me too.”

“You know what this means,” Merlin said.

“No, what?”

“It means the first chance I get, after we are both healed up of course, I am going to be all over you,” Merlin grinned.

“I shall look forward to that,” Arthur smiled.

“You’ve really never been attracted to males before?”

Arthur shook his head and looked into Merlin’s eyes.  “No one but you, Merlin.”

“Maybe I am irresistible.”

“You’re going to be impossible now, aren’t you?”

Merlin shook his head and brushed his fingertips over Arthur’s collarbone.  “Me?  Impossible?  Never.”

“All I can think about since you came into my life is how to protect you.  How to give you the life you deserve.  I don’t want to lose you, Merlin.”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

Arthur gently put his hand over the place where Merlin’s wound was beneath his shirt.  “I can’t believe you walked out of the hospital to search for me.”

“I did, and I would do it again.  I couldn’t lie in that bed knowing you were in danger and do nothing.”

“How did you know, Merlin?”

“Just a feeling, it’s hard to explain.  By the way, why was your phone underneath your bed?” Merlin asked.

“I dropped it and left.  I wasn’t thinking clearly.”

Merlin looked at him, “Did something else happen?  Was there something other than the text message?  Arthur, talk to me, please.”

Arthur averted his gaze and then nodded.  “I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize.  It was him.  He said that he had eyes on everyone I love and that there was more than just Gideon waiting in the wings to do his bidding.  He said he has learned to delegate.  That it is far more fun to let others do the heavy lifting.”

“The sick bastard,” Merlin growled pressing his forehead to Arthur’s.  “Was it him who beat you or did he delegate that too?”

“It was him.  But he drugged me, I don’t remember most of it.  I just remember his voice…his laugh.  He said not to worry, that he wouldn’t kill me.  That when he was done with me I would do anything he asked.  He wants me to become one of his pawns.”

Merlin’s eyes filled with alarm.  “What drug did he give you?”

“I have no idea,” Arthur shook his head, “They are running a tox screen to find out.”

“How do you feel?  Do you feel like yourself?”

“Yeah, the effects have worn off now.”

“You need to tell Morgana,” Merlin said.

“I know, but I don’t want her going after him.”

“You aren’t going to stop her.  She needs to know what she is dealing with.”

Arthur linked his fingers with Merlin’s.  “I—I’m scared, Merlin.  Really scared.”

Merlin knew what it meant for Arthur to admit that he was afraid.  He was not a man who showed fear.  His hands were shaking, his blue eyes shining with tears.  Merlin put his arms around him and Arthur allowed himself to melt into the comfort.

“We’ll get him…together.”

Arthur shook his head slightly, “I can’t let him hurt you or Morgana, or my father…my friends.”

Dr. Jonas came back into the room then.  “Well, Arthur, the tox screen came back.  Whatever drug he gave you is out of your system already.  I want you to take it easy for a few days.  Let me know if there are any changes.  Merlin, you take it easy as well.  You cannot risk tearing your sutures.”

“Yes, doctor,” Merlin smiled.

“Why do I get the feeling that neither of you will heed my advice?” he shook his head.  Arthur looked at Merlin and shrugged.  “All right, get out of here, you two.”

“Thank you, Dr. Jonas,” Arthur said as he turned and slid off the bed leaning on Merlin as he put on his shirt and his coat.

“You’re welcome.  There’s an officer here to drive you both home.”

Merlin put an arm around Arthur to steady him as they walked out of the ER.  Jacobs was waiting for them at the entrance with the car door open.  Arthur slid into the back seat and Merlin followed.  Jacobs slid behind the wheel and looked in the rearview mirror as he drove away from the hospital.

“Where’s my sister?” Arthur asked.

“She’s still at the warehouse.  She said she would meet you two at your place later on today.  After you get some rest.”

“I need you to stick close to her,” Arthur said, “She’s in danger.”

“I’m going back there as soon as I drop you off.”

Arthur settled back against the seat and smiled as Merlin took hold of his hand.  He drifted off jolting awake when Jacobs drove into the parking garage.

“I’ll go up first and make sure the place is clear,” Jacobs said as he got out of the car and pulled his weapon as he headed for the elevator.  He returned a few minutes later and waved them in.

Merlin got out and came around to help Arthur.  “Lean on me.”

“Merlin, you’re hurt worse than me,” he huffed.

“I’m fine, now come on.”

Arthur sat down on the sofa and rubbed his eyes.  Merlin went to the kitchen to make him something to eat and some tea.

Jacobs handed Arthur Merlin’s backpack.  “You’ll find your guns in there.  Morgana asked me to return them to you.”

“Thank you,” Arthur nodded.

“You’ll take care of him?” Jacobs asked Merlin.

“I will,” Merlin smiled.

“All right, see you later,” he said then left the apartment.  Arthur went to the door and locked it then set the alarm before heading to his bedroom.  He sat on the edge of the bed and stripped off his coat and shirt closing his eyes.  His ribs hurt like hell.

Merlin came into the room with a tray and sat it on the nightstand.  He got down on his knees and helped Arthur get his shoes and socks off then unfastened his belt.  He nodded and Arthur lifted his hips so he could pull off his jeans and underwear.

“Do you want to shower?” Merlin asked and Arthur nodded.  “I’ll get the water going, be right back, yeah?”

“Yeah, thank you.”  Arthur was in too much pain and far too exhausted to think about the fact that Merlin had just undressed him.  He stood up and walked to the bathroom.  Merlin grabbed towels and a washcloth from the shelf and placed them on the counter.  His eyes drifted over Arthur’s battered body.

“God, Arthur,” he whispered.

“It looks worse than it is,” Arthur smiled and got into the shower.  Merlin handed him the washcloth and body wash.

“Um, I will wait in the bedroom.  Find you something to put on,” Merlin said then reluctantly left the bathroom.  He shook his head as he walked back into the bedroom and pulled open a couple of drawers.  He found a pair of pajama pants and a tank top and laid them on the bed then opened his backpack and put the guns on Arthur’s dresser.

Walking to the glass doors he took in the view.  This was a view of New York that he had never seen before.  Arthur’s apartment was on the top floor.  The sun was just beginning to rise, its golden light filtered through morning fog reflecting off the glass of other buildings.  Merlin let out a breath.

“Are you okay?” Arthur asked and Merlin turned to find him wearing the pajama pants and tank top.  He sat down on the bed, took a bite of the sandwich, and sipped the hot tea.  “Here, come sit, eat this other sandwich.”

“This place,” Merlin said, “It’s incredible.”

“Yeah, my father bought it for me when I joined the force.”

“You are way out of my league,” Merlin huffed a laugh.

“I’m really not,” Arthur said, “I’m just me.”

“I’m not good enough for you, Arthur.”

“Merlin, come here.”

Merlin moved back toward the bed and sat down in front of Arthur.  He closed his eyes for a moment trying to get his emotions under control.  Arthur returned his cup of tea to the tray and then placed his hands on Merlin’s thighs urging him closer.

“Look, I don’t know what the future holds for us.  I am scared to death honestly.  Because, God help me, Merlin, I think I’ve loved you before.  I feel like our souls are connected somehow and I am not one who normally believes in such things.  Whoever or whatever brought you to me, I am so damn grateful.  Never doubt yourself, Merlin, and never doubt me.”

“I think I’ve loved you before too, Arthur,” Merlin smiled linking their fingers together.  “It’s surreal.”

Arthur pressed his lips to Merlin’s in a tender searching kiss that deepened quickly.  He moaned then drew back.  “If I didn’t hurt so badly right now…if you weren’t in pain...”

“I know…believe me,” Merlin grinned.

“I need to sleep,” Arthur said kissing him again.

“Me too.  I’m going to bed.”

“You could…stay…here…with me.”

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.  I’ll just be in the next room.  Call out if you need me, yeah?”

“Merlin…”

“Get some sleep,” Merlin said then got up grabbing his backpack.  He winked at Arthur and then walked into the bedroom next door.  He unpacked his clothes, undressed then went into his bathroom.  He carefully washed avoiding getting his fresh bandages wet, brushed his teeth, and put on his pajama bottoms.

Before crawling into bed, he looked in on Arthur.  He was sound asleep, curled in on himself on top of the covers.  Merlin went to the closet and grabbed an extra blanket covering Arthur with it.  He lightly ran his fingers through his dark blonde hair then went back into his room.  Drawing the covers down he slid under and laid back on the pillows.  He was asleep in minutes.

Merlin was shaken awake.  He groaned and pulled his pillow over his head. 

“Go away,” he muttered.

“Merlin, where’s Arthur?” Morgana asked, then shook him again and Merlin was immediately awake.

“He’s in his bed asleep,” he said.

“No, he’s not,” she said.

Merlin scrambled out of bed and went into Arthur’s room and bathroom.  “He was here, he was sound asleep.  I checked on him just two hours ago.”  He glanced toward the dresser where he had left both guns.  “Shit, his gun is gone.  Did you call his phone?”

“Yes, four times no answer.  It’s going straight to voicemail and it’s full.  The GPS is turned off on his phone.”

“Fuck,” Merlin said then went to his room to get dressed.  He pulled on his shoes and grabbed his coat and his phone then grabbed the 9mm off Arthur’s dresser.  He walked into the hallway dialing Arthur’s phone.  He hung up and dialed again.  “Nothing.”

“I called he is not at the precinct no one has seen him.  Our father has been trying to reach him too.”

Merlin stopped for a moment trying to focus.  His chest was aching, he ignored it.  “Where would he go?”

“I don’t know,” Morgana said fear in her eyes, “Why would he leave?”

“He was exhausted.  He could barely move he was in pain.”

“I just brought his car back.”

“He must have called a ride or taken the subway.”

“Merlin, I’m scared,” Morgana said and Merlin embraced her.

“I will find him,” Merlin said softly then kissed her cheek, “You stay here in case he comes back.”

“I need to come with you.”

“Morgana, I swear to you I will find him.  I need you to remain here and call me immediately if he comes back.  Call Leon, and see if he knows where he might go.  Give me the keys to his car, please.”

“All right,” she nodded handing him the keys, “Merlin, be careful.”

“I’m always careful,” he nodded then headed out the door moving quickly toward the elevator.  He dialed Arthur’s number twice more with the same result.  “Dammit, Arthur where are you?”

Merlin drove out of the garage and headed for his old neighborhood.  It was a long shot, but he thought maybe Arthur had gone to the diner from the night they met.  It was only a short ride on the subway.  He pulled up in front of the diner and got out running inside.  Cassie was working she looked up and smiled brightly.

“Merlin, how are you?”

“I’m all right.  Have you by chance seen Arthur…Detective Pendragon?”

“No, not since the night you were both here.”

“Thank you,” Merlin frowned.  He picked up a pen and wrote down his phone number handing it to her.  “Would you please call me if you see him?”

“Of course, is he in trouble?” she asked.

“I hope not,” he said then headed back out the door.  Getting behind the wheel he started the car and pulled out heading for the waterfront.  He hoped he was wrong, that Arthur didn’t go back to that warehouse.

The sun had set by the time he parked Arthur’s car next to the warehouse, he got out and went inside.  It was empty.

“Arthur,” Merlin called out.  “Dammit, where are you?”

Merlin left the building and headed back toward the car he dialed Arthur’s number again.  Halfway to the car, the call was answered.  “Arthur!”  The line was silent except for the muffled sound of traffic.  “Arthur?”

“Merlin…”

“Thank God,” Merlin let out a breath, “Arthur, are you all right?”

“Merlin, I need help…”

“Tell me where you are, and I’ll come get you.”

“I don’t know how I got here…Merlin…something is wrong.”

Merlin could hear the panic in Arthur’s voice.  “It’s all right, you’ll be okay.  Just tell me where you are.  Turn the GPS back on and I will find you.”  There was a moment of muffled movement and then Arthur came back on the line.

“It’s on now.”

“All right, stay on the line with me, Arthur.  Don’t hang up.  Merlin sent a text to Morgana.

I’ve got Arthur on the phone.  He turned his GPS back on.  I need you to tell me where he is.

“Merlin…

“I’m here, Arthur.  Morgana is tracking your cell.  Just hold on.”  His phone chimed and he checked there was a screenshot of the location.  “I’ve got your location, Arthur.  Stay put, do not move.  Don’t hang up.”

“Phone is dying…two percent,” Arthur said, “Hurry, Merlin.”

Merlin got behind the wheel started the car and floored the accelerator tearing out of the waterfront area.  It was ten minutes before he reached the street and turned into the alleyway heading for the exact spot where the GPS designated.

“Arthur, I’m here, I don’t see you,” Merlin said but the call had cut off.  “Fuck,” he growled and got out of the car.  “Arthur!”

“Merlin,” Arthur emerged from the recessed doorway of a brick building, his arm crossed over his middle.  Merlin reached him as his knees folded.

“Arthur, I’ve got you,” Merlin said with a grunt as he bore most of his weight and helped him to the car.  He had him sit on the hood and checked him over for new injuries.  Finding none he released a relieved breath and wrapped his arms around Arthur’s neck.  “You’re all right.”

“I wanna go home,” Arthur said his voice breaking.

“Okay, come on help me get you in the car, yeah?”

Arthur gave him a slight nod, his eyes were glassy, his pupils dilated.  Merlin managed to maneuver him into the back seat and had him lie down.  He took off his coat and covered Arthur with it.

“I’ll get you home,” he said then got behind the wheel and called Morgana.  She answered on the first ring.  “I’ve got him, Morgana…bringing him home.”

“Thank God,” she choked out a sob of relief, “Is he hurt?”

“No more than he was already, but something is very wrong.  He’s disoriented and his eyes look odd.  We need help.”

“I’ll call Leon, he will know what to do,” Morgana said.

Merlin started the car, “All right, we are about thirty minutes away depending on traffic.”

“All right, be careful.  Percival is on his way over, he will help you get Arthur up here.”

“Good, because I think my wound is bleeding again,” Merlin said as he pulled out of the alley.  He touched his hand to his chest and winced as it came away wet.

“I will have Leon bring Lance, he is a medic.”

“Good idea, I do not relish the idea of going back to the damn hospital,” Merlin said then ended the call.

As soon as he pulled into the parking garage he spotted a man with arms the size of tree trunks.  “That must be Percival,” he said as he parked the car.  The man immediately approached, opened the back door, and carefully maneuvered Arthur out of the vehicle.  He picked him up in his arms.  Merlin closed the doors, locked them then followed.

“Merlin,” Percival smiled slightly, “It’s good to finally meet you sorry it is under these circumstances.”

“You too,” Merlin said, “Thank you for your help.  I wasn’t sure how I was going to get him up to the apartment.”

“Merlin,” Arthur muttered.

“I’m here, Arthur,” Merlin said running a hand through his blonde hair, “Percival is carrying you for me.”

“Hey Percival,” Arthur muttered.

“Hey, boss, hang on, I’ve got you.”

They reached the door as Morgana pulled it open.  Percival carried Arthur into the apartment and straight to his bedroom lowering him onto the bed.  Merlin and Morgana immediately worked to take his shoes, socks, and coat off.

“He’s shivering,” Morgana said.

“I found him in an alley,” Merlin said as he headed for the kitchen to fill a bowl with hot water and grabbed a washcloth and towel from the bathroom.  He sat them on the nightstand and proceeded to gently clean Arthur’s face and neck, unfastening his shirt to reach his chest and stomach.

“Merlin,” Arthur said softly his eyes opening wider.  He gripped his slender wrist and looked intently at him.  “I didn’t do it.”

“You didn’t do what?” Merlin asked, concern in his voice.

“I didn’t kill her.”

Merlin’s eyes widened in alarm and he looked up at a startled Morgana.  He leaned closer to Arthur shaking his head slightly.

“Who, Arthur?”

“The woman.  I saw her…I wanted to, but I stopped.  There was a loud noise,” Arthur said, lifting his head to look around the room.

“Arthur, what are you talking about?” Morgana asked, but Arthur’s eyes glazed over again and he let his head fall back on the pillows.  “What’s wrong with him?  I have never seen him like this,” she said her voice quivering.

“He’ll be all right.  He just needs to rest and heal,” Merlin said though he knew deep down there was far more wrong here.  Arthur was under the influence of something and he had no idea what.

Morgana crawled onto the bed cradling Arthur’s head against her shoulder.  She kissed his temple and gently stroked his cheek. 

“We’re going to take care of you,” she whispered.

Arthur looked up at her.  “Love you, ‘Gana.”

“Yeah, yeah, I love you too, little brother.”

Merlin slipped into Arthur’s bathroom, emptied the bowl, then splashed water over his face, shaking his head.  Biting his bottom lip, he fought back tears and looked at his reflection in the mirror, forcing himself to breathe deeply and focus.  He had lived on the streets for seven damn years and had never known fear like he felt not knowing where Arthur was.  The intense emotions he’d been suppressing came rushing to the surface and he shuddered, his shoulders vibrating as the tears broke free sliding silently down his face.

The bathroom door opened slowly with a soft knock.  “Merlin,” Gwaine said.  Merlin’s head came up and he lunged into Gwaine’s arms.  “Hey, hey, it’s all right,” he said holding his friend tightly.  “I came with Leon and Lance.  Everything is going to be all right, my friend.”

“Gwaine, I can’t lose him,” Merlin sobbed.

“You’re not going to lose Arthur, I won’t let that happen.  Now come on, Lance needs to take a look at your wound.”

“Arthur needs him, not me.”

“If you tore your sutures you need attention now,” Gwaine said then steered Merlin out of the bathroom and down the hall to the living room.  “He’s all yours,” Gwaine nodded toward a tall, dark-haired, Italian god with a kind smile and soft warm eyes.

“Merlin, I’m Lance, can you take off your shirt for me?”

Merlin nodded and worked his shirt over his head.  He looked down to see his bandages were saturated with blood.  Lance had him sit on the kitchen counter while he removed them and cleaned the wound.  He examined it thoroughly.

“You pulled a couple of the sutures,” he frowned. 

“I don’t want to go back to the hospital,” Merlin shook his head.

“I can handle it, I just need to give you a shot to numb the area then I will re-stitch it.  You’ll be fine, but you need to take it easy.”

“I’ll do my best,” Merlin flinched as he felt the needle.

“Did you really live on the streets for seven years?”

“Yeah,” Merlin nodded.

“That must have been hard,” Lance said and Merlin shrugged.

“I didn’t know any different.  I never had a real home.  My father wasn’t in the picture and my mother died when I was twelve.  Before that, it was just the two of us and she worked all the time so I was left alone to raise myself.”

“It’s good you ended up with Arthur then.”

“He changed my life,” Merlin said, giving Lance a strained smile as he began to stitch the wound.

“Sorry,” Lance smiled.

“I don’t know what I will do if…  I can’t imagine my life without him in it now.”

“I’ve known Arthur a long time,” Lance said, “He is loyal to a fault, devoted to his job and to those he cares about.  From what Leon tells me, Arthur hasn’t stopped talking about you since the two of you met.”

“Really?”

“Yes, he would do anything for you, Merlin…anything.”

“I feel the same.”

“I know, I can see it in your eyes.  You love him don’t you.”

Merlin nodded, “I never thought I would find love.  Now that I have, I am terrified of losing it.”

“Just remember that you two were brought together for a reason.”

“Lance, I think Arthur is under the influence of something.  They did a tox screen at the hospital and found nothing.  But something is very wrong.”

“I can take a look at the report and see if there is something they missed.”

“You can do that?” Merlin asked.

“I’ll have to get help from Morgana, but yes.”

“Thank you,” Merlin smiled and looked down at his newly cleaned and re-stitched wound.  Lance covered it with new bandages.

“Now, take it easy,” Lance he said with a wink, “No strenuous activities.”

Merlin chuckled and hopped off the counter, “I’ll do my best.”  He didn’t bother putting his shirt back on.  He went down the hallway and heard the shower running in his room as he passed and Morgana was no longer in Arthur’s bedroom when he walked through the door.  He sat down on the edge of the bed and caressed Arthur’s cheek.  His eyelids fluttered open and he looked at Merlin.

“You found me,” Arthur said softly.

“I will always find you, Arthur.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For what I put you through.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“There’s something wrong with me, Merlin,” Arthur said, tears shining in his eyes.

“We will figure it out together,” Merlin said then leaned over to kiss him, “You’re going to be okay.”

“I—I’m scared,” Arthur said, “What if I hurt someone?”

“It’s not in you to hurt anyone.”

“Merlin…”

“Don’t worry, okay?  I am going to do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”

“It’s not me, I’m worried about.  You don’t understand, Merlin.  I felt it…I felt the desire to kill.  I felt rage that did not belong to me.  I was approaching her from behind when there was a loud crash.  I looked down and I was standing there in the alley with a knife in my hand.  It felt like I was walking through water.”

“There’s someone I can call, a friend of mine.  If anyone will know what is causing this it will be him.  He knows everything there is to know about herbs and mind-altering substances.  He’s kind of what you call an alternative healer so-to-speak.”

“Alternative healer?” Arthur asked raising an eyebrow.

Merlin nodded giving him a crooked grin.  “His name is Gaius.  He can be trusted.  He dabbles in things that are not exactly widely accepted in the outside world.”

“Like what?”

“Like um…” Merlin’s eyes narrowed and his lips pressed together.

“Merlin?”

“Magic,” he said on a breath.

“Magic?” Arthur huffed a laugh.

“Yeah, like potions and spells and stuff like that.”

“You actually believe in magic?”

Merlin nodded stiffly, “Yeah, but it’s not like I had a choice in the matter.”

“What do you mean?”

“Arthur, I was born with magic.  It’s a part of me…like really a part of me.”

Arthur’s eyes went wide, “You have magic?”

“Um, yeah…”

“But you don’t use it?”

“Only small things like starting a fire to keep warm.  I suppressed it, I was always afraid someone would see and think I was a freak or that they would kidnap and sell me to some top-secret government lab for experiments.”

“Merlin, you expect me to believe that you have magic?  Abracadabra…hocus pocus…fairy godmother…magic?  Like that, um, Harry Potter kid?” Arthur huffed a laugh and shook his head.

Merlin lowered his gaze, his eyes filled with hurt and tears.  “You don’t believe me?”

Arthur suddenly felt like a colossal jackass.  All he’d wanted was for Merlin to let him in, to finally open up about himself and here he was deriding him for doing just that.  Merlin trusted him enough to reveal a secret that he obviously had never told anyone before. 

“I believe you, Merlin,” Arthur said reaching up to caress his cheek and Merlin gave him a ghost of a smile.

“You do?”

“Yes, I do,” Arthur nodded, “I mean, your name is Merlin after all.”

Merlin huffed a laugh, “Right.”

“Can you show me something?”

“Um, yeah,” Merlin nodded.  He held out his hand, palm up.  “Forbearnan!” he said softly and a tiny golden flame appeared in his hand.  Arthur’s eyes opened impossibly wide as he stared at it, mesmerized.

“Merlin!” he gasped.

“Don’t freak out,” Merlin smirked.

“Freak out?  It’s beautiful!” Arthur said.

Merlin shook his head, “I’ve noticed that since I met you, my magic has gotten stronger.  I can’t really explain it.”

“Why didn’t you use it to protect yourself, Merlin?”

Merlin shrugged, “Just scared.  People have always treated me like a pariah.  If they knew that I had magic it would be far worse.”

“Can you use it to heal yourself?”

“It helps me heal faster, but I don’t know any spells specifically for that.”

Arthur reached his hand out toward the flame and pulled back as he felt the heat.  “How is that not burning you?” he asked with a look of awe.

Merlin closed his hand and the flame was gone.  “I never had anyone to teach me how to use it properly.  Gaius taught me a few things.  He said that my father likely had magic as my mother most definitely did not.”

“Have you tried to find your father?” Arthur asked and Merlin shook his head.

“I figured if he wanted to know me, he’d find me.  My mother left me a letter with her will.  Told me who my father was, his name was Balinor Emrys.  They were never married.  She said she sent him letters but had no idea if he even received them.  He never knew about me so I can’t exactly blame him for not being around.”

“Would you want to find him?”

“I don’t know.”

“I could help you,” Arthur said, “With a name like Balinor Emrys he shouldn’t be hard to locate.”

“I think we have enough on our plates right now, don’t you?” Merlin gave him a slight smile.

“True.”

“How do you feel now?”

“Still kind of out of it, but I’m me at least.”

“Arthur,” Merlin said then averted his gaze, staring at the door and then the rug.

“Yeah?”

Merlin shook his head slightly tears pooling in his eyes.  Arthur took hold of his hand and squeezed gently.

“What is it?”

“I love you,” Merlin said.  He looked up to find Arthur staring at him intently.  He laughed softly, “Go ahead make fun of me, I’m a sappy girl…I know.”

“Merlin,” Arthur smiled, “I love you too.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“You know you’re stuck with me now.”

“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” Arthur tugged him closer wrapping his arms around his neck.  He held him tight his eyes closing to hold back his own tears.  Whatever was happening to him, he had Merlin to ground him.  “Thank you, Merlin.”

Merlin drew back slightly and brushed his lips lightly over Arthur’s.  “You should sleep now.  I’ll watch over you.”

“Let someone else watch me, you get some rest too.”

“I have a better idea,” Merlin grinned, “Move your arse over.”  He unfastened his jeans pulled them off and when Arthur shifted over he slid beneath the covers.

“Merlin,” Arthur chuckled.

“Shh, I’m going to sleep.”

“My sister is in the next room.”

“Yes, she is,” Merlin smirked and snuggled down into the soft pillows.

“What the hell,” Arthur said then wrapped his arms around Merlin, careful to avoid his wound.  He let out a breath and kissed the back of his shoulder.

Morgana peered into the room and smiled.  “Sleep well you two.”

“Night, Morgana,” Merlin said.

“Good night, ‘Gana,” Arthur muttered nuzzling the back of Merlin’s neck.

Morgana closed the door and went back out to the living room.

Chapter Text

“How are they?” Gwaine asked as he sat down on the sofa and picked up the TV remote.

“They are in bed…together,” she giggled.

Gwaine chuckled, “Yeah, I knew the first time I saw them together that’s where that was heading.”

“Merlin really cares about him,” Lance said.

“I have never seen Arthur like this with anyone before.  Not even Mithian and they dated for eight months,” Morgana said as she sat down next to Gwaine.  Her phone chimed and she looked at it.  “Percival just texted me.  Gwen and Elyan are here with food.”

“Good, I’m starving,” Lance smiled.

A few minutes later, Leon and Percival came through the door followed by Gwen and Elyan.  Pizza boxes, sandwiches, and pasta, a case of beer, and two bottles of wine.  Gwen headed into the kitchen.

“Ah, Arthur of course, no paper plates,” she said then took plates out of the cupboard.

Morgana went into the kitchen.  She embraced her friend.  “Long time no see, my lovely Gwen.”

“Oh, Morgana, you look beautiful as ever.  How’s Arthur?”

“I think he is all right.  Merlin is with him.”

“I am dying to meet this Merlin,” Gwen beamed, “Leon said Arthur hasn’t stopped talking about him since they met.”

“Merlin is gorgeous and sweet and so smart.  I adore him.”

“What does your father think about them…you know?” Gwen asked.

“He’s not thrilled, by any means.  But I told him to let them be.  Merlin makes Arthur happy and that is what matters.”

“Merlin is the best,” Gwaine said as he snatched a piece of pizza and grabbed a can of beer.  “I’ve known that boy for years.  If not for him I would have never taken you and Leon up on your offer to help.  I kept hearing his nagging little voice in my head.  I would have died on the streets long ago if not for his steadfast friendship and loyalty.”

“Morgana, what can we do to help Arthur?” Gwen asked.

“I don’t know.  You should have seen him when Merlin brought him home.  He was completely out of it.  I didn’t want to question him until he gets some rest.  It was so frightening to see Arthur like that.  My brother is always so strong.  Even after he was shot he never stopped fighting to survive.  Tonight, he was not himself.”

Percival nodded, “When I was carrying him he was barely conscious and his eyes were glassy…but he kept looking for Merlin.”

“I’ll stick around and examine him in the morning,” Lance said.

“I’ll stay too,” Gwaine said, “I owe Arthur.”

“How are you doing, Gwaine?” Gwen asked.

“I’m surprisingly good.  This is the first beer I’ve had in days.  I haven’t touched the hard stuff.  One day at a time.”

“Good for you,” Leon smiled, “Keep this up and I might have to make you foreman on a new project we are starting in three months.”

“Foreman,” Gwaine said with a wide grin, “Really?”

“Yes,” Leon nodded, “But you have to prove you can handle it.”

“Gwaine is going to be fine,” Gwen beamed, “He has all of us to keep him on track.”

Gwaine looked at them his hazel eyes shining with tears.  “None of this would have been possible without Merlin and Arthur.  I owe them everything.”

“We have to find a way to help them both,” Morgana said.

“I smelled food,” Merlin said as he wandered sleepily into the living room.”

“Sleeping beauty,” Morgana giggled, “Is Arthur awake?”

“No, he is out.  Pizza,” he grinned grabbing a piece and a can of beer.  He walked over to the sofa and perched on the arm next to Morgana.

“Merlin, this is Leon and that is Elyan, Gwen is behind you in the kitchen.”

“Oh hello,” Merlin grinned and turned to look at everyone, “Nice to meet you.”

“Merlin,” Gwen said as she came out of the kitchen, “Oh my, Morgana wasn’t kidding, you are gorgeous.”

“Thank you,” Merlin smiled his face turning red.

Gwaine chuckled, “Hey, Merlin, you should tell them about the time that modeling agent tried to recruit you off the street.”

Merlin huffed, “I didn’t believe him.”

“Yeah, and it turned out to be legit and you could have made a career out of it.  Would have been set for life.”

“No thank you, modeling is just prostitution without the sex if you ask me.”

“I can see why they wanted you so badly,” Morgana said, “God, those cheekbones, that amazing hair, your beautiful eyes, full lips, and long lean body.”

“Merlin is the male version of you, Morgana,” Percival grinned.

Merlin laughed and got up to get another slice of pizza.  He was surprised at how comfortable he felt with these people.  Arthur’s friends had welcomed him and Gwaine into their group with open arms.  He liked them all immediately.

“On a more serious note, Merlin, what happened out there?” Leon asked.

“I’m not sure,” he frowned, “When I found Arthur he was confused and agitated.  He told me he followed a woman and that he felt the urge to kill.  That he felt rage that wasn’t his.  He said a loud noise snapped him out of it and he felt like he was walking through water.  When he looked down he had a knife in his hand.  He’s terrified he is going to hurt someone.”

Lance frowned, “It sounds like it could be drugs or hypnosis or a combination of the two.  I need to get a look at that tox screen.  Morgana…”

“On it,” Morgana said and picked up her phone to make a call.

“Gideon wasn’t drugged or didn’t seem to be,” Merlin said, “He was completely in control of his faculties when he kidnapped me and tried to kill Arthur.  The man was a sociopath.”

“Jacobs will get the tox screen report and email it to me,” Morgana said.

“Dr. Jonas said whatever drug the bastard gave Arthur it was out of his system by the time they did the tox screen,” Merlin said.

“If it is out of his system why is he still being affected?” Morgana asked.

“Maybe it isn’t a drug at all,” Gwaine frowned, “Lance is right it could be mind control, hypnosis.”

“That’s possible?” Merlin asked.

“It’s not supposed to be, but if this killer is military, special ops, or some such thing.  They could have special skills that normal people would not have.”

“How do we even begin to fight that?” Merlin asked.

“I will call some of my military contacts,” Gwaine said.

“And I will look into the medical side,” Lance nodded.

Merlin shrugged, “Then I will contact Gaius.”

“Gaius?” Morgana asked.

“Let’s just say he has special insight.  The kind that is outside of the normal realm.”

“You mean like paranormal?  Possession?” her eyes widened.

“Sort of, yes.  I um, may as well just go ahead and tell you all.  Gwaine kind of knows,” Merlin said then taking a breath he ran his fingers through his hair.

Gwaine sat up straight, his eyebrow shooting up.  “Are you sure, Merlin?”

“Yeah, I’m sure.  I already told Arthur.”

“Told Arthur what?” Leon asked.

“I have magic…I am magic,” Merlin said and Morgana giggled.

“Merlin, you’re kidding right?”  Merlin looked at her and her laughter ceased.  “You’re not kidding,” she said softly.

Merlin held out both hands cupped together and whispered a word.  When he opened them a blue butterfly fluttered out and around the room before vanishing.  He waited, his head lowered, as they all stared at him in shock.

“I know, I didn’t believe it at first either, but I can’t tell you the number of times that Merlin kept us warm with a fire when he had no lighter or matches…just words.  He’s magic,” Gwaine smiled.

“Holy shit,” Elyan said.

“Oh Merlin,” Gwen beamed at him, “That was beautiful.”

Leon smiled, “So, this Gaius, he knows about magic and spells and such.”

“Yes,” Merlin nodded, “I will contact him.  He lives in Maine.

“Nobody invited me to the party,” Arthur said with a slight smile.

“You’re awake?” Merlin said as he spun around and gripped his hand.

“I’m hungry, I smelled food,” he grinned.

“You look better,” Morgana smiled.

“You all trying to figure out what to do with me?”

Lance stepped forward, “Arthur, I need to examine you.  Can you tell me what you remember?”  He steered Arthur toward the same countertop where he had taken care of Merlin’s wound.  Arthur hopped up on it and allowed Lance to look him over while the others moved into the living room to give him some privacy.  Merlin lingered nearby reluctant to leave his side.

“It’s still foggy,” Arthur said as he took off his shirt.

“What do you remember from the warehouse?”

“The voice, it was weird.  I was drugged, I couldn’t focus on his face, but his voice was crystal clear.  I can still hear it.”

“What did he say?  Anything unusual?”

Arthur shook his head, “Nothing that made any sense.  But it was the same man who was on the phone call.  That much I am sure of.”

Morgana came into the kitchen holding her phone.  “Jacobs just got back to me.  The tox screen was useless.  Whatever drug Arthur was given was either out of his system or untraceable.  He did cross reference some names connected with Gideon Martin and the military as well as names connected to that warehouse and came up with a match…Douglas Willard.  He was Gideon’s commanding officer on a special ops team, missions are all classified, but it was rumored that they were involved in questionable interrogation techniques not sanctioned by the US Government.

“Douglas Willard,” Merlin said, “Why does that name sound familiar?”

“You mean this bastard was controlling me?” Arthur asked.  “I am free now right?  I feel like me again.”

“Hard to say,” Lance frowned, “We’ll need to keep a close eye on you for a few days.  I’ll do some research, see what I can find out…the effects how long they last.”

Arthur glanced at Merlin, his eyes wet and fearful.  Merlin moved quickly, wrapping Arthur in his embrace, holding him tightly.

“I’m a danger to anyone around me,” Arthur said his breathing somewhat erratic.

“We will figure this out,” Merlin said, giving him a reassuring smile.  “I’m not leaving your side.”

“Merlin…” Arthur said, shaking his head.

“No, I am not going anywhere.”

“I don’t trust myself…can’t trust myself.”

“I trust you,” Merlin said.

Lance looked at Merlin, “Someone needs to be with Arthur at all times.”

“I will stay with him.”

“I need to get back to the precinct,” Morgana said, “I will come back after.  Father said for you to take as much time as you need.”

“What did you tell him?” Arthur asked.

“Just that you are still pretty shaken up over what happened at the warehouse and it triggered traumatic memories of your shooting.”

“He is not going to buy that.  I need to talk to him.”

“Let me take care of it, Arthur.  You rest and let Merlin take care of you.”

Merlin dished up a plate of pasta and handed it to Arthur.  “You need to eat then back to bed with you.”

“Bossy much?” Arthur asked with a smirk then he took a few bites.

“Oh, you have no idea.  I am my mother’s son.  Whenever I got hurt or sick she had me in bed for days, shoving food into me, making sure I drank plenty of fluids, and making me swallow nasty-tasting remedies that Gaius made.  I miss her so much,” Merlin said with a sad smile.

“I miss my mother too,” Arthur said as he glanced at Morgana and then looked down at the plate.

“What happened to her?” Merlin asked.

“She died when Arthur and I were away at boarding school.  Ygraine was a beautiful, gentle, sweet woman,” Morgana smiled.  “I used to wish she was my mother too.”

Merlin looked from her to Arthur then back.  “Then you and Arthur…”

“Half siblings,” Arthur said.

“My mother abandoned me when I was two, left me with Uther.  Ygraine welcomed me with open arms, and loved me like I was her own.  She was pregnant with Arthur at the time.  We were inseparable growing up.  Didn’t find out until I was twelve that I wasn’t Ygraine’s child.  Then one day, when I was sixteen and Arthur was fourteen, we got a call from our father, she was dead and we were ordered to stay at school until arrangements were made.  He didn’t know how to deal with two grieving children.”

“Father would never talk about it,” Arthur said.

“He still won’t,” Morgana frowned, “We aren’t allowed to mention her name in his presence.”

“I did some digging into her death,” Arthur said.

“You did?” Morgana asked her eyes wide with surprise, “You never told me.”

“Because I didn’t find anything.  Whatever happened the file was sealed by court order.  I couldn’t access it.  All I know is she did not die of natural causes.  When I took it to father he told me to drop it, that no good would come of opening the case again.  I think there was something he did not want to come to light about her.”

“She was murdered?” Merlin asked.

“Yes, I believe so,” Arthur nodded, “But as far as I could tell no one was ever arrested for her death.  We were too young at the time to think about questioning it.”

“I think after we catch Willard we should look into it.  Make father tell us the truth,” Morgana said.

“Yeah,” Arthur nodded, “We should.  We deserve to know.”  He frowned and put his plate down.  “I think I need to go back to bed.  I feel a bit dizzy.”

Merlin moved to duck beneath his arm to help him, but Lance waved him off. 

“No, Merlin, let me,” he said, “I told you no strenuous activities.”  He put his arm around Arthur and walked him back to his room and Merlin followed.

“I need to go into the bathroom first,” Arthur said.  He held onto the vanity counter and closed the door halfway.  He turned on the water and washed his face.  He looked at his reflection in the mirror and froze for a moment as he saw a stranger’s face looking back at him.  “Fuck!” he swore loudly, stumbling back into the wall and Lance came in with Merlin.

“What happened?” Merlin asked.

Arthur shook his head, pressing his hands to his eyes.  When he pulled them away and looked again it was his own reflection.

“Arthur?” Lance asked.

“What?  Oh, sorry, I thought…never mind,” Arthur stuttered.

“Arthur, maybe we should take you to the hospital,” Lance said his face etched with concern.

“Lance is right,” Morgana said.

“No, I am not going to the hospital,” Arthur shook his head.  “I just need sleep.”

“You clearly saw something that startled you,” Lance said.

“Nothing, just my mind playing tricks on me, that’s all.  Just need to sleep for a week, I’ll be fine.”

“Stubborn ass,” Morgana frowned.

“Everyone go, get out,” Arthur said as he walked from the bathroom to his bed.

“Arthur…” Merlin stepped forward.

“You too, Merlin…I need to sleep.”

Morgana put an arm around Merlin.  “Come on, Merlin, you need sleep as well.”

Lance followed them out of the room and closed the bedroom door.  He stood in the doorway of Merlin’s bedroom.  He watched as Morgana tucked him into bed kissed the top of his head and caressed his cheek.

“You sleep,” she smiled, “I have to go to work, but I will stop by later.  You call me immediately if anything happens.”

“All right,” Merlin nodded.

“I will hang around for a while,” Lance said, “Sleep, Merlin.”

Morgana met Lance’s gaze as she joined him in the hallway and closed Merlin’s door.  She looked up at him and shook her head.

“What the hell is going on?” she asked.

“I wish I knew.  We will get to the bottom of all this.  I have my laptop I will do some digging.  Don’t worry, Morgana.  Go on to work.”

They walked into the living room and Morgana grabbed her purse and coat.  Percival got up from the sofa.  He grabbed his coat putting it on.  Leon, Gwen, and Elyan had already gone home.  Gwaine was talking on his phone.  He hung up as Morgana and Percival left, then turned to Lance.

“I made some inquiries,” Gwaine said, “The special ops team Gideon Martin and Douglas Willard were involved in…bad news.  Ugly stuff and all classified.  But I did find out two other names also on the team.  One, Zachary Porter, died a month ago.  Apparently, he attempted to kill his landlord with a knife and the landlord shot him dead.”

“And the other?” Lance asked.

“Locked up in a mental facility, been there for six months.  His name is Shawn McKenna.  His wife said he tried to kill her with a knife but insists that it wasn’t him.  She is convinced that something happened to him when he was in the military.”

Lance ran a hand through his thick, dark hair and frowned.  “Gwaine, I need to do some research.  I have a bad feeling about this.  Arthur is clearly not himself.  If what happened to them is happing to him…”

“What do you need me to do?”

“Can you go to that facility and talk to Shawn McKenna?  See what you can find out from him about what that team was involved in.”

Gwaine nodded, “I can do that.  I will talk to his wife too.  I have her phone number.”

“Good,” Lance said, “Whatever you can find out.”

“I’ll call you,” Gwaine nodded then grabbed his coat.

“You need money for a cab?” Lance asked.

“No, I’ve got it.”

Lance took out his laptop and set it up at the small dining table next to the windows and delved into everything he could find about mind-altering drugs, hypnotic programming, and everything he could dig up about Douglas Willard and Gideon Martin.  He looked up two hours later when he heard movement from the hallway.

Merlin came into the living room wearing blue jeans and a dark blue T-shirt.  His hair was wet from a shower.  He looked around and spotted Lance.

“Where is everyone?” he asked

“They all had things to do,” Lance smiled.  “How did you sleep?”

“Okay,” Merlin sat down across from Lance at the table.  “I checked on Arthur, he’s sleeping.  I’m worried about him.”

“I know,” Lance nodded.  “Hey, you said earlier that the name Douglas Willard sounded familiar.”

“Yeah, not sure why though,” Merlin shook his head.

“I think I may have the answer to that.  Dr. Douglas Willard ran a mobile medical clinic that went to homeless shelters.”

“That’s it…I remember him.  He would test people in the shelters for mental health issues.  He asked me if I had ever had violent thoughts or if I had ever wanted to kill someone.  Are you sure it is the same Douglas Willard?” Merlin asked, “Is there a photo.”

“Yes,” Lance nodded, “I have his military records and newspaper articles.  It’s him.”

Merlin looked over Lance’s shoulder at the photo.  It was Willard’s military ID, but there was no doubt that was the same man.  “That’s definitely the doctor I met at the shelter.  He creeped me the fuck out even though there was nothing unusual about his physical appearance.  His eyes were a bizarre shade of gray and cold as steel…no emotion whatsoever.  His hair was longer then, and it was not his natural color because he had gray roots.  He wore a gold Rolex, designer suit and drove a brand-new Mercedes…filthy rich and he flaunted it.”

“What else can you recall about him?” Lance asked.

Merlin stepped away to look out the window.  “He was average height, just slightly shorter than me, maybe a hundred and eighty pounds.  He had one of those voices, commanding but not harsh.  People listened to him when he spoke.  The man made my skin crawl while others seemed to hang on his every word.  One of the regulars at the shelter told me Willard talked him into participating in some kind of medical trial.  That he would pay him some ridiculous amount of money.  His name was Jeffrey Ross…red hair and green eyes, skinny with huge dimples.  Loved to tell stories to kids.”

Lance typed in the name and searched records.  “Son of a….” he muttered.

“What is it?” Merlin asked then turned back to the computer.  “Dammit, that explains why I never saw him around the shelters again.  Fuck, he was just a kid.”  Jeffrey Ross was dead…his body was found in the river with thirty-seven stab wounds.  They identified him by fingerprints from a prior arrest for shoplifting.  “Willard killed him…he is a monster.”

“Merlin, will you be all right here alone with Arthur until Morgana gets back?” Lance asked.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.  Arthur is sleeping.  I am going to call Gaius.”

“Okay,” Lance said, “I will check in later.”

“Lance, we need to get this bastard,” Merlin said.

“We will, Merlin.  Call me if you need anything.”

“I will, thank you.”

Lance left the apartment and Merlin went to Arthur’s room to find his phone that he’d left on the nightstand earlier.  He picked it up and then leaned over to check on Arthur.  He was breathing normally and sound asleep.  He carefully adjusted the blanket over him and Arthur opened his eyes.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you,” Merlin said, “Go back to sleep.”

Arthur lifted his head groggily looking around.  “What time is it?”

Merlin glanced at his phone.  “It’s almost noon.”

Arthur slid his legs over the side of the bed and sat up.  He looked up at Merlin and gave him a soft smile then took hold of his hand pulling him closer.  Merlin sat next to him on the bed and Arthur hugged him.

“Are you all right?” he asked.

“I’m fine, just worried about you.”

“I’m sorry, Merlin.”

“What for?”

“Getting you into this mess,” Arthur frowned.

“I kind of got myself into this mess.”

“Still, you shouldn’t be saddled with babysitting me.”

“It’s not as if I really mind,” Merlin said then pressed his lips to Arthur’s.

“Whatever happens, Merlin…”

“Nothing is going to happen.  You’re going to be fine.  We are going to get Willard.  I am going to call Gaius and get some help.”

“I don’t want to lose you.”

“You’re not going to lose me.”

Arthur put his hand on the side of Merlin’s neck his thumb tracing his sharp cheekbone.  He smiled and kissed him tenderly.  Merlin kissed him back eagerly, leaning into his touch.

“Um,” Merlin said and drew back, “Need to stop…definitely need to stop.”

“I just want to hold you,” Arthur said then laid back against the headboard.  Merlin laid down next to him, placing his head on his chest.  Arthur tugged gently on his hair.  “I wish I could fix this so we could just be together without all this hanging over our heads.”

“I know, me too,” Merlin said, his fingertips slowly drawing figure eights on Arthur’s hard stomach.

“You’re really something, you know that?”

Merlin tilted his head back and Arthur kissed him.  “I’m just me.”

“We should just pack up and leave town,” Arthur said.

“As nice as that would be, we both know this won’t be over until we get Willard.”

“We can’t even be sure it is him.”

“I am certain,” Merlin said, “Everything in me says it is him.  Thanks to Lance I know why the name was familiar to me.  He was the doctor behind the mobile medical clinic that went to the homeless shelters.  I remembered him.  He asked me if I’d ever had violent thoughts or wanted to kill someone.”

“Nice guy,” Arthur frowned.

“Yes, and one of the homeless kids he paid to participate in a trial was found dead in the river with thirty-seven stab wounds.”

“Fuck,” Arthur said letting his head drift back.  He looked up at the ceiling and let out a choked cry.

“Arthur,” Merlin said as he moved up onto his knees and shook his head.

“Merlin, I can’t become a monster.  I can’t become him.”

“You won’t.  I won’t let you.”

Arthur gripped Merlin’s hand, “I need you to promise me, if I ever become a danger to anyone or if I hurt anyone you need to stop me.  No matter what it takes.”

“I can’t,” Merlin shook his head, “I could never…”

“Merlin, promise me.”

“Arthur, you don’t know what you’re asking.”

“I know it’s a lot,” Arthur said, tears pooling in his eyes.  “You have magic.  You can use it on me right?”

“My magic…”

“I give you permission, Merlin.”

“No, I can’t, Arthur!  I can’t use magic to hurt anyone, especially not you!”  Merlin cried then scrambled off the bed and left the room shutting the bedroom door behind him.  Tears slid down his cheeks as he leaned back against the wall trying to pull himself together.  He could never use his magic against Arthur.”  He slid slowly down the wall to the floor drawing his knees up to his chest.

Pulling his phone out of the pocket of his jeans, he dialed Gaius’ number.  It rang three times before the old physician answered.

“Hello?” Gaius asked.

“Gaius, it’s Merlin.”

“Merlin, my boy,” he said, “How on earth did you get a cell phone?”

“Long story.  I need your help,” Merlin said his voice breaking.

“Merlin, what’s wrong?”

“Someone I care about is in trouble.  We think he is under the influence of mind control programming and or drugs.  He was captured and tortured and given drugs and since then he has not been right.  I found him in an alley with no memory of how he got there.  He said he felt the urge to kill, rage that was not his.   The monster who did this to him is a doctor with military history involving mind control.  Classified stuff.  I really need your help.  Can magic counteract things like this?”

Gaius muttered something and Merlin could hear him dropping heavy books on his workbench and opening them, flipping through pages.

“Merlin, what you are talking about is not possible.  It’s a conspiracy theory surely.  No one can be forced to go against their inherent morals.”

“It is possible because I have seen it myself.   Arthur is a good man, he would never harm anyone willingly and definitely not without reason.  He’s a homicide detective and he has been hunting this serial killer for a year.”

“Arthur?” Gaius asked.

“Yes, Arthur Pendragon,” Merlin said.

“Merlin, I think you need to start at the beginning.”

“Right,” Merlin tilted his head back looking up at the ceiling and he explained everything starting with the murder of Katie Shaw and ending with how he came to be not only living with but in a burgeoning relationship with Arthur Pendragon.”

“You do have a knack for getting yourself into messes,” Gaius chuckled.

“Not helpful, old friend,” Merlin said.

“Sorry, right, okay give me some time to look into it.  I will try to find something you can use.”

“Arthur asked me to use my magic to stop him if he loses control,” Merlin said his voice quivering.

“Oh, Merlin, you can’t.”

“I know,” he wiped his eyes.

“This Arthur obviously means a lot to you,” Gaius said.

Merlin huffed a laugh, “Gods, Gaius, I love him.  I love him with all that I am and I cannot lose him.”

“I understand, my boy.  I will do whatever I can to help.”

“Thank you.”

“I have your number.  Sit tight, I will call as soon as I have something for you.”

“Okay, Gaius, thank you.  Bye.”

“Goodbye, Merlin.”

Merlin ended the call and closed his eyes.  He nearly jumped out of his skin when the bedroom door suddenly opened and Arthur walked out of the room.  He looked down at Merlin.

“Who were you talking to?” he asked his voice flat.

“Gaius, he’s going to look for something to help you.”

“I don’t fucking need help, Merlin,” Arthur growled and Merlin looked up into dark, cold, hard eyes.

“Arthur?” Merlin asked getting to his feet.  He pressed a button on his phone then slid it into his pocket and followed as Arthur walked into the kitchen, yanked the refrigerator open, and grabbed a beer.  “Are you angry with me?”

Arthur shook his head and laughed humorlessly, “Why would I be angry at you?”

“Because I refused to use my magic against you.”

“Ah, yes,” Arthur grinned, “You’re so gullible Merlin, do you honestly think he believed you when you said you had magic?  Get real.”

Merlin’s forehead creased in worry.  “Arthur, what’s wrong?”

“What’s wrong?” Arthur asked then shrugged, “Not a damn thing.  Tell me, Merlin, why are you still here anyway?”

“What?”

“Did I stutter?  Why the hell are you still here?”

“You know why,” Merlin said, his eyes narrowing.

“Ah yes, of course, soft-hearted Arthur.  He feels sorry for you.  Poor street rat.  He brought home a stray that won’t go away.”

“Arthur, we care about each other, why are you saying these things?”

Arthur laughed and shook his head, “Aren’t you just adorable?  Now beat it…go back to your street corner.  Find some other poor sap to take you in.”

Merlin squared his shoulders.  “Who are you?”

“I am Arthur…well the new and improved version…Arthur 2.0, I suppose.  The Arthur with no conscience.  The Arthur who is not burdened with the weight of responsibility and his father’s ridiculous expectations.  The Arthur who doesn’t give a flying shit about you,” he chuckled and closed the distance between them.  “You know he isn’t gay, right?  He just doesn’t want to hurt your little feelings.”

“You’re lying,” Merlin said firmly.

“You know I’m not,” Arthur grinned, “Deep down you know the truth.  You know that a man like Arthur could never be with a filthy street kid.  He’s just keeping you around because he needs your help to catch the nasty bad guy.”

“You’re wrong…so wrong,” Merlin snapped.

“I must admit though, the thought of fucking you is not entirely unpleasant,” Arthur said, his eyes traveling down Merlin’s body.  “You are quite pretty.  I could fuck you raw then cut your lovely throat and watch you bleed.”  Arthur let out a laugh his mouth right next to Merlin’s ear.  “You are worthless, Merlin.  Just a pretty piece of ass.”

“Arthur would never say that,” Merlin hissed, “Arthur would never hurt me or anyone else.”

“Your hero worship is showing, Mer—lin,” Arthur huffed, “Come on he’s going to toss you out on the street the minute all this is over.  You really believe you’ll get a happily ever after?  Grow up, Merlin.  Life isn’t a fucking fairy tale.”

“Arthur loves me and you will never convince me otherwise.”

“Keep telling yourself that,” Arthur said backing Merlin up against the wall.  He downed the rest of the beer and put the empty can on the table.  His hands slid up Merlin’s arms to his shoulders to his neck, wrapping around that slender throat.  “I could squeeze the life out of you with my bare hands.” 

He looked at Merlin’s lips.  His smile grew wider as the boy’s eyes betrayed fear, anger, and desire.  “Pitiful…absolutely pitiful,” he laughed.  “You think you are going to save Arthur?  Every time I take over a little more of him melts away.  Eventually, I will take over completely.”

“Arthur won’t let that happen,” Merlin shook his head.

“Oh, he can fight me.  It will not be easy.  Unlike Gideon, Arthur has a strong will.  Gideon was a puppet…eager to please his master.  He thrived on the killing.  It gave him purpose in his life.  Arthur surprised me in that alleyway.  I really thought I had him then at the last moment he broke through and stopped himself.”

“Tell me about Douglas Willard,” Merlin said.

“You know about him?” Arthur asked raising an eyebrow.

“I met him before.  I know what he did to Jeffrey Ross.”

“Well, well, haven’t you been a busy boy?  I am impressed.  Perhaps you are smarter than I give you credit for.  Not just a pretty face after all.”

“I am going to find a way to stop him…to stop you.”

“Stop me?  You?” Arthur huffed, “I think not.  You could never hurt your precious Arthur.  The only way to stop me is to kill him.”

“I will find a way,” Merlin glared at him, “He has people who love him.  People who will fight for him.  He has a father and a sister who will do anything to protect him.”

Arthur laughed, “Uther Pendragon?  That’s rich.  Perhaps you should ask dear old Uther who Douglas Willard is.  He knows.  He knows all the secrets.”

“What are you saying?” Merlin asked.

“Uther is weak.  Morgana, on the other hand, Willard wants her.  She is scary beautiful and so damn smart.”

Merlin’s eyes widened as he realized something.  “Willard planned to get Morgana too, didn’t he?  At the warehouse…but he didn’t plan on me showing up with her.”

“One big happy family,” Arthur smirked, “Willard wants what is rightfully his and he will have it.”

“Why are you telling me all this?” Merlin asked.

“It’s all part of the game.”

“The game?”

Arthur turned and picked up his coat.  “Merlin, before you can win, you have to know what game you’re playing.”

Realizing Arthur was leaving, Merlin grabbed his arm.  “I won’t let you take him.”

“Like you can stop me,” Arthur smirked.

“Don’t make me…” Merlin pleaded, his eyes shining with tears.

“Don’t make you what, Merlin?” Arthur got in his face, challenging him.  “That’s what I thought,” he smiled then turned and headed for the door.

Merlin started to raise his hands but hesitated.  “Arthur!”

“Goodbye, Merlin,” Arthur said and reached for the door.

“Stop,” Merlin shouted, his voice deep and rough.  His hands flew up, palms facing outward, fingers splayed wide as his eyes flashed gold.  Arthur was spun around and yanked back into the apartment landing hard face down on the floor.  Merlin ran to his side, tears streaming down his face.  “I’m sorry…I’m so sorry,” he said while turning Arthur over and gathering him into his arms.  “Arthur…”

“Merlin?” Arthur opened his eyes and looked at him in confusion.

“I’m sorry, I had to,” he choked back a sob.

“What happened?”

“It wasn’t you…he wasn’t you,” Merlin said breathlessly, his hand pressed to Arthur’s chest, eyes filled with tears, “I know he wasn’t you.”

Arthur’s eyes filled with alarm seeing how distraught Merlin was.  “Merlin, god, did I hurt you?”

“I’m fine,” Merlin shook his head.

“Tell me what happened.”

“Doesn’t matter now, it’s passed.  Can you get up?”

Arthur nodded and pushed himself up and Merlin helped him to his feet.  He wrapped his arms around Merlin’s trembling body.  His chest hurt, he knew he had done something to him…said something to him.

“God, Merlin, I hurt you, didn’t I,” Arthur whispered.

“No, it wasn’t you.”

“The last thing I remember was being in bed and you walking out of the room.”

“I called Gaius, he’s going to look for something to help you,” Merlin said.  “I’m sorry, I didn’t want to use magic on you.”

“I asked you to, Merlin.  It’s all right.”

“What are we going to do?”

“I wish I knew.”

Morgana came through the door then, her gun drawn, her eyes wide.  She looked at Arthur warily then glanced at Merlin.

“Merlin, are you all right?”

“Yeah, I am okay.  I had to use magic to stop Arthur from leaving the apartment.”

“That was smart what you did, Merlin…” she saw Merlin shake his head pleadingly and swallowed what she was about to say.  What he heard over the phone had shaken her to the core.  It was Arthur’s voice, but he would never say such cruel things to Merlin.”

“Morgana, you need to arrest me or have me committed.  I am a danger to everyone around me,” Arthur said with tears in his eyes as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“I’m not locking you up, Arthur,” she said, “There has to be another way.”

“I can’t remember what happened,” he frowned, “I said or did something to Merlin.  I saw the pain and the fear in his eyes.”

“Arthur…” Merlin said shaking his head.

“I cannot control this,” Arthur said angrily.

“Arthur, we need to keep this quiet.  If anyone finds out about this, you will lose everything you have worked so hard for.  You will lose your job,” Morgana said hugging him.

“How the hell am I supposed to do my job?” Arthur asked, letting out a ragged breath.  “I’m terrified that I am going to hurt someone,” he looked mournfully at Merlin.  “I could have killed Merlin,” he said, his voice trembling.

Merlin smiled, then moving closer, he reached up with both hands framing Arthur’s face.  “I know you would never hurt me.”

“But he would,” Arthur choked.

“You won’t let him.  I trust you.”

“If only we knew what triggers the change,” Morgana said.

“I don’t know,” Arthur frowned, “Merlin left the bedroom he was upset because I tried to get him to promise that he would use his magic to stop me if I become a threat to him or anyone else.”

“I didn’t want to,” Merlin said softly, shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans, and dropped his gaze to the floor.  Morgana hugged him tightly.

“Merlin, you did the right thing,” she said cupping his cheek.

“Yes,” Arthur nodded, “You did what I asked you to.  Thank you.”

“Doesn’t make me feel any better about it.  You could have been seriously hurt.”

“Better than having me loose on the street with no control of my actions.  I feel it, lingering just beneath the surface…the rage, the desire to kill,” Arthur sat down hard on the sofa and rubbed his face with both hands.  “Merlin, I need you to tell me what I said…what I did.”

Merlin shook his head, “No, I can’t…I won’t put you through that.”

“Merlin, I will watch my brother.  I want you to go get some rest.” Morgana said.

“I slept,” he frowned.

“She’s right,” Arthur said, “This is taking a toll on you.  I want…need you to take care of yourself.  I need you to be okay.”

“Fine,” Merlin relented then bent to press his forehead against Arthur’s, “Just a couple of hours, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Arthur gave him a small smile.  As Merlin straightened, Arthur put his hand on his hip and hooking a finger through a belt loop tugged him closer.  His thumb brushed over the soft skin just above the waistband of his jeans.  He then nudged him in the direction of the hallway.  “Bed, now…”

“Okay,” Merlin grumbled and headed for his room.

Morgana followed making sure he got into bed then she closed the door and pulled her phone from her pocket.  She walked back into the living room.  She held it out to her brother.

“You need to hear this,” she said softly.

“What is it?” Arthur asked.

“Merlin dialed my phone.  I started recording as soon as I figured out what was happening.  I recorded most of it.  You asked to hear what happened and while it won’t be easy, I think you need to hear it.”

Arthur took the phone and pressed the play button and immediately heard Merlin’s confused and fearful voice.  He lowered his head listening as Morgana sat down next to him.

Arthur, what’s wrong?

What’s wrong?  Not a damn thing.  Tell me, Merlin, why are you still here anyway?

What?

Did I stutter?  Why the hell are you still here?

You know why.

Ah yes, of course, soft-hearted Arthur.  He feels sorry for you.  Poor street rat.  He brought home a stray that won’t go away.

Arthur, we care about each other, why are you saying these things?

Aren’t you just adorable?  Now beat it…go back to your street corner.  Find some other poor sap to take you in.

Who are you?

I am Arthur…well the new and improved version…Arthur 2.0, I suppose.  The Arthur with no conscience.  The Arthur who is not burdened with the weight of responsibility and his father’s ridiculous expectations.  The Arthur who doesn’t give a flying shit about you. You know he isn’t gay, right?  He just doesn’t want to hurt your little feelings.

You’re lying.

You know I’m not.  Deep down you know the truth.  You know that a man like Arthur could never be with a filthy street kid.  He’s just keeping you around because he needs your help to catch the nasty bad guy.

You’re wrong…so wrong.

I must admit though, the thought of fucking you is not entirely unpleasant.  You are quite pretty.  I could fuck you raw then cut your lovely throat and watch you bleed.  You are worthless, Merlin.  Just a pretty piece of ass.

Arthur pressed his clenched fist against his lips forcing himself to keep listening.  Morgana kept a reassuring hand on his back.  He was hearing himself, but it was surreal.  He could hear the uncertainty and fear in Merlin’s voice.

Arthur would never say that.  Arthur would never hurt me or anyone else.

Your hero worship is showing, Mer—lin.  Come on he’s going to toss you out on the street the minute all this is over.  You really believe you’ll get a happily ever after?  Grow up, Merlin.  Life isn’t a fucking fairy tale.

Arthur loves me and you will never convince me otherwise.

Keep telling yourself that.  I could squeeze the life out of you with my bare hands.  Pitiful…absolutely pitiful.  You think you are going to save Arthur?  Every time I take over a little more of him melts away.  Eventually, I will take over completely.

Arthur won’t let that happen.

Oh, he can fight me.  It will not be easy.  Unlike Gideon, Arthur has a strong will.  Gideon was a puppet…eager to please his master.  He thrived on the killing.  It gave him purpose in his life.  Arthur surprised me in that alleyway.  I really thought I had him then at the last moment he broke through and stopped himself.

Tell me about Douglas Willard.

You know about him?

I met him before.  I know what he did to Jeffrey Ross.

Well, well, haven’t you been a busy boy?  I am impressed.  Perhaps you are smarter than I give you credit for.  Not just a pretty face after all.

I am going to find a way to stop him…to stop you.

Stop me?  You?  I think not.  You could never hurt your precious Arthur.  The only way to stop me is to kill him.

I will find a way.  He has people who love him.  People who will fight for him.  He has a father and a sister who will do anything to protect him.

Uther Pendragon?  That’s rich.  Perhaps you should ask dear old Uther who Douglas Willard is.  He knows.  He knows all the secrets.

What are you saying?

Uther is weak.  Morgana, on the other hand, Willard wants her.  She is scary beautiful and so damn smart.

Willard planned to get Morgana too, didn’t he?  At the warehouse…but he didn’t plan on me showing up with her.

One big happy family.  Willard wants what is rightfully his and he will have it.

Why are you telling me all this?

It’s all part of the game.

The game?

Merlin, before you can win, you have to know what game you’re playing.

Arthur turned off the recording struggling to catch his breath then rewound it and pressed play again.  He looked up at his sister as the voice on the recording said that Uther knew who Douglas Willard is and that he wanted Morgana.

“Do you think that is true, what you—he said?  That every time he takes control a little more of you melts away and he will eventually take over?” Morgana asked.

Arthur nodded rubbing his eyes, “I feel it…I feel drained and confused…even more than the first time.”

“We’re going to stop him, Arthur,” Morgana said, “I promise you.  I will not let him win.  I will protect you and Merlin.”

“Did you not hear what I heard?  Willard wants you too.”

“Yes, I heard, but he has no idea of the hellfire he will be bringing down on himself if he tries,” Morgana gave Arthur a wide smile.  “I’m scary remember?”

Arthur huffed a laugh, “That you are.  I love you, you know that?”

“Of course,” Morgana beamed, “I love you too.”

“What are we going to tell father?”

“Leave that to me.  I will talk to him, get him to keep this between us.”

“You really think he will go for that?  If he really does know Willard…”

“Arthur, there is too much at stake.  He will want to protect you too.”

“I think you mean he’ll want to protect the family name,” Arthur smirked.

“He does love you, even if he has trouble showing it.”

“Yeah,” Arthur nodded then looked at his sister pleadingly.  “Morgana, I—I need you to take Merlin somewhere safe, please.  Take him away from here.  Tell him…” his voice trailed off, “Tell him I lied.  That I don’t love him.  That I was just using him.  Tell him I don’t want him.”

“As if he would believe me,” Morgana shook her head.  “Arthur, Merlin will never leave your side.  Even if you somehow managed to convince him that you don’t love him, which is a bald-faced lie, it won’t change the fact that he loves you.”

“If something happens to him because of me…”

“She’s right you know,” Merlin said from behind them.  Morgana got to her feet and turned.  Arthur looked up at him and shook his head slightly.

“Merlin…”

“Don’t,” Merlin said, “Don’t even try.  Arthur, you got me off the street, you gave me a roof over my head, food in my belly, and clothes on my back.  But even before that…before I spoke to you in that godforsaken alley.  The second I looked up and saw you staring back at me, I knew.  There is not a fucking thing you can do or say to get me to leave your side.  I love you, Arthur Pendragon.  I would gladly die for you.  So, don’t even think about pushing me away.”

Arthur got up from the sofa closing the distance between them.  He pulled Merlin against his chest and kissed him tenderly then wrapped his arms around him holding him tightly.  He choked back a sound that was half laugh, half sob.

“I love you too, Merlin.”

“You two are disgustingly sweet,” Morgana said, wiping tears from her eyes.

Merlin looked from Arthur to her.  “We need a plan,” he said firmly, his blue eyes hardening with resolve.

Chapter Text

Merlin woke up to the smell of bacon and coffee.  “Mmmm this is heaven,” he muttered sleepily, stretching languidly like a cat.  He opened one eye to see the door open and Arthur looked into his room.

“Hey,” Arthur grinned.

“You’re up?” Merlin asked, “Who’s here?”

“Morgana just left.  She had to go in to work since they are a bit shorthanded,” Arthur rolled his eyes.

“You’ll be back to work in no time.”

“I’m not even sure I will still have a job to go back to when my father finds out what is going on.”

“He wouldn’t do that to you,” Merlin frowned, “Would he?”

Arthur shook his head as he crawled onto the bed and laid on top of Merlin, carefully avoiding his wound.  “He may not have a choice.  I can’t do my job if I’m a prime candidate for the psych ward.”

“You’re not crazy, Arthur.”

“I feel like I am losing my mind, Merlin.”

“Well, you’re not.  You just…”

“Just?”

“It’s not your fault.  There’s nothing wrong with you.”

“Merlin, I am so sorry,” Arthur said softly.

“Stop apologizing to me,” Merlin said, his long slender fingers lightly tapping out a rhythm on the top of Arthur’s head.  “It wasn’t you.”

“If anything happens to you,” Arthur shook his head and kissed Merlin’s bare shoulder then the side of his neck and his lips.  Merlin moaned softly and stretched again wrapping his arms around Arthur.

“You seem a little better this morning,” he smiled.

“I’m really trying.  God, I wish…Merlin…”

“I know, Arthur.  It will happen.  We have the rest of our lives.”

“This is so hard, you deserve better.”

“You know, you’re right, I do,” Merlin said, “Good thing I already found the best then, yeah.”

Arthur huffed a laugh, “You’re delusional.”

“Completely,” Merlin kissed him, “Now get off me, I have to pee.”

“Fine…breakfast is getting cold anyway,” Arthur rolled off the bed and got up and Merlin scrambled to the bathroom.  “Meet me in the kitchen when you’re done peeing.”  He laughed then left the room heading into the kitchen.

Merlin laughed.  A few minutes later he had washed his hands and face then pulled on jeans and a tank top padding barefoot into the kitchen.  Arthur sat a full plate of bacon, eggs, and toast in front of him.

“I had no idea you could cook.”

“Of course, I can cook,” Arthur said pretending to be offended, “I am thirty years old after all.”

“God, you’re old,” Merlin wrinkled his nose and shook his head.  You’re pretty hot for an old man though,” he grinned.

“Cheeky little shit, aren’t you,” Arthur said his eyes narrowing.

“It’s a gift,” Merlin smirked.

Arthur’s phone rang and he picked it up, swiping the screen.  “Unknown number…ignore,” he said then put the phone down and poured himself a cup of coffee before refilling Merlin’s.  “You should really cut back on coffee, it stunts your growth you know.”

“I’m an inch taller than you.”

“Fair point, keep drinking.”

“We have the whole day to ourselves,” Merlin said.

“Not quite, Lance and Gwaine are on their way over.  They have some news for us.”

“About?”

“No idea, but it’s something to do with Willard.”

Merlin frowned, “Would have been nice to have one whole day without having to think about that bastard.”

Arthur nodded, “The sooner I get that monster out of my head the sooner we can focus on us.”

“Us?” Merlin asked, his blue eyes lighting up.

“Us…” Arthur said, leaning close to kiss him tenderly.  A knock on the door interrupted and Merlin whimpered.  Arthur playfully cuffed him on the back of the head and headed for the door.  He opened it to Lance, Gwaine, and Leon.  “Boys.  Come on in.”

“You’re looking better,” Lance smiled embracing his friend.

“Physically, I am fine.  Mentally…that’s another story,” Arthur frowned.

“Merlin, my friend,” Gwaine walked over, embraced Merlin from behind, and stole two slices of bacon.

“Hey,” Merlin protested, “Mine!”

“Arthur, you’re spoiling him,” Gwaine wagged his eyebrows, “I remember when he used to share his food.”

“It’s bacon, Gwaine!” Merlin squawked.

“He’s right, stealing a man’s bacon is a cardinal sin,” Arthur nodded.

“I don’t think so,” Gwaine smirked.

“I believe it falls under gluttony,” Leon smiled.

“He’s right,” Lance agreed.

“Fuck,” Gwaine said.  Thinking for a moment, he then reached around Merlin to steal two more slices, “I’m already going to hell, might as well go happy.”

Merlin glared at him, wrapping his arms protectively around his plate.  “Back, you sinner!”

Arthur laughed and turned to Lance.  “So, what did you find out.”

“I sent Gwaine to speak with one of the men who was on the special ops team with Willard.  He’s in a psych ward on a round-the-clock suicide watch.  His name is Shawn McKenna.”

“Poor guy is a mess,” Gwaine shook his head, “I had to get permission from his wife to visit him.  She swears it was not him who tried to kill her.  Said it was like he was possessed.  He has already tried to kill himself twice.  He is overcome with guilt.  I can relate.  Anyway, I couldn’t get much out of him.  His mind is a mess.  He did tell me that Willard made him do things to people.  Made him hurt people.  He said he wants to die because he can never get his life back.”

“The way I’m going,” Arthur rubbed his hand over his chin and nodded, “I might be joining him there if we can’t find a way to break Willard’s hold on me.  Merlin, tell them what happened yesterday.”  Merlin shook his head.  “You need to tell them, I don’t remember any of it.”

Merlin let out an exasperated breath, “Fine.  I had Morgana send me the recording.”  He took out his phone pulled up the file, placed it on the counter, and hit play.  When it was done Arthur moved toward the sofa and sat down, folding in on himself.  Merlin shook his head and pushed stop.

“That is disturbing,” Leon said, “That was not…”

“That was not you, Arthur,” Lance said.

“I may not know you as well as these guys, Arthur, but that was not you.  You would never be that cruel to Merlin.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Arthur shook his head, “The point is, that it is still my mind and body being controlled by Willard and I could have hurt Merlin.  If he hadn’t used his magic to stop me, I would have been out there…” his voice trembled as he motioned toward the windows, “…loose on the street a danger to others.  Willard wants me to kill…don’t ask me how I know, but if I take a life while under his control, there will be no coming back from that.  The programming will consume me completely.”

“So, we won’t let that happen,” Gwaine said.

“How are we going to stop it?” Leon asked, “Aside from locking you up, because that is out of the question.”

“We don’t have to lock him up,” Merlin said and all four men turned to look at him.

“Merlin?” Lance asked, “What are you thinking?”

“I can put a magical tracker on Arthur.  If by chance he manages to evade all of us, I will still be able to track him to within at least the immediate area.  It’s not exact, but it is enough to keep me in the vicinity.”

“Merlin, you cannot face that thing again…not alone,” Arthur shook his head.

“I am not afraid of you, Arthur.”

“I don’t trust myself.”

“I trust you.  You won’t let him hurt me.”

“You don’t know that.  You don’t understand what this is like,” Arthur said, “Hearing myself on that recording, it rips my heart to shreds.  I heard the pain in your voice, Merlin.  The anguish.  You can deny it all you want, but those words cut you deeply.  Just knowing I caused that kills me.”

“I think Merlin is right,” Leon nodded, “You should allow him to put a magical tracker on you.  It’s not ideal, but it is something.  Willard is known for disabling cell phones.  If he forces you to do so, we will lose you.”

Gwaine nodded, “Merlin’s trackers work.  He has used them before.  He put one on me once.  We got separated one winter and he found me.  I damn near froze to death in the middle of Central Park.  He found me and got me indoors.”

“Fine do it,” Arthur said.

Merlin slid off the barstool and walked over to him.  He placed his hand on Arthur’s forehead and his eyes turned gold the sight of which stole Arthur’s breath away it was so beautiful.  Merlin dropped his hand uttering a word that no one understood but him.

“It’s done,” he nodded.

“Feels weird,” Arthur smiled, “Tingly all over.”

“That will pass in a moment.  The other Arthur will not be able to feel it,” Merlin said.  He dropped to his knees in front of him and kissed his lips ignoring the muffled snickers of the other three men.

“The other Arthur is still me, Merlin.”

“I can’t think of him that way, Arthur…I can’t,” Merlin said his voice shaky, “I have to differentiate between you and him.”

“I wish you would let them take you somewhere safe until this is over.”

“No, I am staying by your side where I belong.  Besides, no one else can follow the tracking spell.  I am in this, like it or not.”

“Then I want you to carry a gun.  The 9mm you used before…keep it on you at all times.  Use it, Merlin.”

“I have my magic,” Merlin said.

“I want you to have the gun as well.  Promise me.”

Merlin nodded, “All right, I promise.  But I will not use it on you, so don’t even think about making me.”

“If it comes down to saving your life…you will do whatever it takes, Merlin.  Because if anything happens to you I will never forgive myself.”

“And if anything happens to you, I don’t want to live anyway,” Merlin said with a sad smile and Arthur shook his head.

“And if you two are finished vowing to die for each other,” Lance smiled.

Arthur and Merlin looked at each other and embraced tightly.

“It’s romantic,” Gwaine sighed exaggeratedly.

“Shut up, Gwaine,” Merlin smirked.

“Yep, definitely spoiled.”

“Arthur, there’s more,” Lance said dropping his gaze awkwardly, “I need to tell you something and it is not going to be easy.”

Arthur leaned back on the sofa and Merlin perched on the arm.  “Out with it, it can’t get much worse.”

“Actually, it can,” Leon frowned.

Lance sat down in the chair across the coffee table from the sofa.  “I did some digging and what the other Arthur said about your father knowing Willard is true.  They served in the military at the same time.  Uther was his commanding officer.  From what I can tell he was not part of the special ops team, but he knew exactly what they were doing.  And your mother…” Lance said his voice trailing off.

“What about my mother?” Arthur asked.

“Willard knew her.  She worked as a nurse back then.  She was involved in the special ops team.  She had direct knowledge of what they were doing.  Once she got out she went on to become a psychiatrist and she was part of Willard’s team here in New York.  They knew each other.”

Arthur pressed the heels of his hands against his eyelids as Merlin rubbed his shoulder.  He let out a hoarse laugh and shook his head.  “This is personal…” he said softly, “It’s fucking personal.”

“It seems so,” Leon said and Lance nodded.

“My mother was murdered…no wonder my father wanted me to let it go.  He knew who killed her.  It was Willard.”

“We don’t know that for certain,” Lance said.

“I do,” Arthur said, “I feel it in my bones.  This is all a game.  Willard, my parents…it is all a goddamn game to him.  He is after my father and he’s going to use me to get to him.  It’s the only thing that makes any sense.  He wants the son to kill the father.  His profile…he gets off on corrupting the incorruptible.  Using those he sees as useful pawns to do his bidding.  All this time I have been chasing one serial killer and it was never just him.  Gideon was one.  Now I am the next.”

“But what reason does he have to hate your father so much?” Merlin asked.

“Uther Pendragon has many enemies,” Leon said.

“Yes, but this is personal,” Arthur said, “He has been planning this for years, biding his time until he could get to me.  This is an emotional vendetta.  I remember hearing my mother speak of a man from her work who would not leave her alone.  She said he insisted on sending her gifts and flowers and my father would become furious.  He threatened to make her leave her career and stay home with Morgana and me.  Who else could it be but Willard?  She said this man was obsessed with her and she feared him.”

“There’s only one person who can confirm your suspicions, Arthur,” Merlin squeezed his hand, “You need to talk to him.”

“I can’t right now, I am too pissed off,” Arthur said then got up off the sofa, “My head is pounding, I’m going to lie down.”  He headed down the hallway to his room and slammed the door shut behind him.

“That was rough,” Lance said.

“Do you believe what Arthur said is true?” Gwaine asked.

Leon nodded, “It makes sense.”

“It explains why Willard wants Arthur so badly,” Merlin frowned, “The ultimate revenge.  Why kill Uther when you can turn his only son against him and make him do it?  To have the sick satisfaction of seeing the look of shock and horror on Uther’s face when his son kills him.”

“Son of a bitch,” Gwaine muttered running his fingers through his long, dark hair.

Leon looked out the window.  “It’s snowing.  I need to get home to Gwen.  Gwaine do you mind staying here with Merlin, keep an eye on Arthur?”

“Not at all,” Gwaine shook his head.

“Merlin,” Lance said, “Are you all right?”

Merlin shook his head, “Other than the fact that I am so angry right now that my magic is roiling under my skin…I’m fine.”

“I’ll take Leon home,” Lance nodded, “Call if you need anything.  I will be back tomorrow.”

Merlin got up and headed for the bathroom.  He felt sick to his stomach.  His magic was building up inside him, stronger than he had ever felt it before.  It had something to do with Arthur and his need to protect him.

“Fuck!” Merlin swore and clenched his fists, fighting the urge to punch a wall or a door.  Anything to vent this anger and release some energy.  Instead, he stripped off his clothes and removed the bandages then got into the shower.  It took a while but he finally calmed down enough to drag himself out about the time the hot water stopped flowing.

Merlin put on his jeans.  He looked at his discarded bandages in the trash and down at his wound.  It was healing far faster than it should be.  Holding his hand over it he let his magic flow, his eyes flashing gold in the mirror.

“Merlin, are you all right,” Gwaine asked with a soft knock on the door.

“Fine,” Merlin responded then opened the door.  Gwaine’s eyes immediately went to his wound.

“Holy shit,” he gasped, “What did you do?”

Merlin shrugged, “My magic has a mind of its own these days.”

“That’s amazing.”

“It knows I need to heal fast.  I have to protect Arthur.”

“Merlin, you’re not going to do something stupid are you?”

“I have no idea what to do.  All I know is Arthur needs me.”

“He’s still in his bedroom,” Gwaine frowned.

“You don’t have to stay with us.”

“Actually, I do.  You are my best friend and I care about you.  Merlin, you have saved my ass more times than I can count it is my turn.”

Merlin hugged Gwaine, “I am happy you are doing so well.”

“I owe it all to you and Arthur.  The two of you gave me a way out and pushed me to take it.”

“Maybe so, but it was you who had to make the ultimate decision to help yourself.”

“How did you get to be so wise?”

“No idea,” Merlin grinned as he pulled a purple T-shirt over his head.

“Come on, let’s go find something to watch on Arthur’s enormous TV.”

“Is that the real reason you agreed to stay?”

“Absolutely,” Gwaine winked then hooked his arm around Merlin’s neck dragging him back to the living room.

Arthur woke up, crawling out of bed after dark.  He stumbled to the bathroom undressed and turned on the shower.  He felt like death, his head felt like it was splitting in two.  The pain was blinding.  The almost too hot water did very little to ease it.  He pressed his forehead to the cool tile wall and closed his eyes.

He couldn’t tell Merlin how bad it hurt because he would insist on taking him to the hospital.  Morgana would kill him for not getting help, but the thought of being poked and prodded and tested when it would do no good anyway…it was pointless.  No doctor could help him.

Getting out of the shower he dried off and went to his bedroom.  He put on a clean pair of jeans and a thick blue-gray sweater.  Putting on his socks and shoes he then grabbed his phone and swiped the screen.  There was a text message from Morgana asking how he was.  He had an email from Jacobs with updates on his case files and another from an unrecognized email address.  His finger hovered over it.  He started to delete it but something stopped him. 

The screen blurred as he tried to read it.  Closing his eyes, he took a breath and then looked at the email again.  He read the first line and suddenly his vision cleared and the pain in his head ceased.  He opened the attached file and immediately his mind was assaulted with images at lightning speed.  He tried to toss the phone away but his hand only gripped it tighter.  He tried to scream, but his voice failed him.

“Merlin…” he choked.  “Help me…”

Merlin knocked on Arthur’s door.  “Hey, get your lazy arse up, we got pizza,” he said to an empty room.  “Arthur?”  He walked into the bathroom and panic set in.  “Arthur!”  He glanced down at the floor and spotted Arthur’s phone lying face up on the rug.  “Gwaine!” Merlin yelled.

“What’s wrong?” Gwaine asked as he came into the room.

“Arthur’s gone,” Merlin said holding the phone.

“I don’t understand how he got passed us,” Gwaine said.

Merlin swiped the screen and read the email that Arthur had been looking at.  He opened the attachment and the screen was filled with flashing images.  “Shit!”

“What is it?”

“Gwaine, I need you to call Leon and the others,” Merlin said, “This email attachment, it triggered Arthur’s programming.  He’s in trouble.”

“Merlin, what are you going to do?”

“I’m going after him,” Merlin responded then ran to his room.  He grabbed his coat and backpack and then went to Arthur’s gun safe to get the 9mm he promised Arthur he would carry with him.”

“Merlin it is snowing out there, and freezing,” Gwaine said, “At least wait until help comes.”

“I forwarded the email to Morgana.  She will bring help, but I can’t wait for them.  The longer Arthur is out there…” he let out a breath.  “I have to go.  If he kills someone, it is all over.”

“Then let me go with you,” Gwaine pleaded.

Merlin shook his head, “I need you here.  Tell Leon that Arthur is no longer himself.”  He tucked the gun into the back waistband of his jeans and shoved Arthur’s phone, his phone, and the first aid kit into the backpack.  Going into the kitchen, he grabbed four bottles of water and some protein bars.  “That email…the images were definitely a trigger from Willard and I have no idea how deep Arthur is now buried in his mind.”

“Here, wear these,” Gwaine said handing Merlin his lined leather gloves.  “Be careful, my friend.  I know you want to believe that Arthur won’t harm you…”

“He won’t,” Merlin nodded then grabbed the extra set of keys putting them in the front pocket of his backpack.

“Can you feel him?”

“Yeah, he is on foot.  He’s in the subway.  I can track him,” Merlin said then giving Gwaine a quick hug as he headed for the door.  “See you later,” he said with a nod and left the apartment.

“Godspeed, Merlin,” Gwaine said then grabbed his phone to call Leon.

Merlin stepped out of the building and into the cold.  The snow was coming down hard, large feathery flakes.  There wasn’t much wind and the ground was already covered by two inches of the white stuff.  There were very few people on the streets and he moved quickly toward the entrance to the subway, following the magic.

“You’re not getting away from me, Arthur,” he said under his breath as he descended the stairs and stepped into the car as the doors slid shut.  There were two other people inside, one a passed-out drunk and the other a stoned kid.

Closing his eyes, he felt the pull toward Arthur.  His phone rang then, startling him.  He pulled it out.  Sitting down on the seat he saw that it was Gaius and answered it.

“Please tell me you found something,” Merlin said then, tilting his head back, he looked up at the ceiling of the car.

“Are you all right, Merlin?” Gaius asked.

“Not exactly, I’ve got an armed warhead on the streets, planning God knows what, and no way to stop him.  Gaius, give me something…anything that I can use to help Arthur.  I can’t let Willard have him.”

“I did find something, but there is no guarantee it will work.  It’s a spell that is supposed to strengthen one’s will.  If Arthur’s will is bolstered he just might be able to overcome the programming and take back control.  I am texting you the spell.  The hardest part is going to be getting close enough.  You have to be in physical contact with him to cast it or it won’t work.  Merlin, this is powerful magic.  Are you certain you can handle it?”

“Gaius, since I met Arthur my magic has grown in strength.  I don’t know how or why, but I know it has something to do with the bond between us.”

“I think you’re right, my boy,” Gaius said.

“Thank you, old friend,” Merlin said, “I have to go.  Got to get off at the next stop.”

“Merlin, if you need me I can come to New York.”

“I’ll let you know.  Thanks again.”

Merlin ended the call and scrambled out the door as the train stopped and the doors opened.  He ran along the platform and up the stairway emerging minutes later onto the street.  An icy blast of wind set him back on his heels.  Shaking his head, he huffed a laugh.

“Come on, Merlin, a couple of weeks off the streets and you’re already getting soft,” he muttered to himself.  He looked down at his phone as he walked reading the spell Gaius sent him.  He repeated it again and again working at getting the proper pronunciation.  There was no room for error.  He would have one shot at this if he was lucky.  One chance to cast the spell and pray that it wasn’t too late and that it would have some effect.

The pull toward Arthur took Merlin into a rough part of the city.  Abandoned cars, dilapidated buildings, and shattered windows.  Where the hell was he going?  His blood ran cold as he realized what Arthur was doing…he was hunting.

“No,” Merlin said out loud and moved faster.  He stopped as he reached a narrow opening in a wood fence where someone had torn the boards off.  Glancing around he saw no one.  The night was completely silent, all sound was muffled by the falling snow.

“This is a very bad idea, Merlin,” he said then slipped through, following along the foundation of a rundown apartment building that looked vaguely familiar.  There were a few illuminated windows and a weathered, red fire door, half off its hinges. 

Pulling it open, he squeezed through the opening and moved cautiously down the long narrow corridor of the building’s basement.  Passing the boiler room, he found the stairs and climbed to the main floor then continued to the second and third floors.  At the end of the hallway on the third level, there was a door standing wide open.  He hesitated in the doorway listening for any sound.  Hearing nothing, he entered the apartment.  There was one flickering lamp on a table in the living room.  In the kitchen, the seventies-era light fixture hung crookedly, half its bulbs burnt out.

As he rounded the corner, there was a sound from the back bedroom.  Sucking in a breath, Merlin crept toward it.  There was no light in the room, but the streetlights outside cast more than enough light for him to see that the room was empty.  He stepped over the threshold.  He started to turn around when he felt hot breath on the back of his neck, the icy steel of the curved blade at his throat, and a hand had a death grip on his wrist.

“You are really pissing me off,” Arthur seethed, his mouth right next to his ear.

“Sorry, about that,” Merlin responded glibly.

“How the hell did you find me?”

“Followed you…left right after you did.”

“You’re lying…you little smart-ass.  You and Gwaine were half asleep on the sofa watching a movie when I slipped out.”

“I need you to listen to me, Arthur.  This isn’t you.”

“When are you going to get it through your pretty little head that you can’t save your Arthur?  He is gone and the sooner you accept that and get the fuck out of my way the better off you’ll be.”

“I refused to believe that,” Merlin said his voice coming out much stronger than he felt.  “Arthur will fight you tooth and nail.”

Arthur withdrew the knife from his throat, brutally shoving him onto the double bed in the corner of the room.  Merlin landed on the filthy sheets and immediately rolled onto his back.  Arthur pinned him down with his full body weight, the knife once again at his throat.  The look in his eyes sent a chill through his veins.  There was nothing of Arthur in their cold, blue depths.

“Arthur…please!” Merlin winced as his gun dug into his lower back.

“Perhaps I should show you exactly who I am,” Arthur hissed, his eyes burning.  “Yes, I should take what your Arthur wanted so badly.”

Merlin could not hold back the fear in his voice as Arthur’s teeth clamped down on his bottom lip drawing blood.  He struggled, trying in vain to push him off.  He cursed his body for betraying him as he felt the spike of arousal from being in such close proximity to the man he wanted so badly.  It’s not him…it’s not him…he chanted over and over in his mind.  His magic seemed to retreat in confusion and Merlin let it.  He knew if he lashed out with it now, Arthur could be hurt.  But if he didn’t…

“Poor, pitiful Merlin, you are hard for me,” Arthur smirked as he roughly groped Merlin through his jeans.  He then yanked at the belt buckle, pulling it free then unfastened his jeans.  “You are a filthy boy.  I bet you sold your body on the street.  Let anyone fuck you for a quick buck.”

Merlin turned his head to the side avoiding Arthur’s eyes, crying out as he felt his teeth sink into the flesh of his neck.  His mind screamed no and he knew that he had to do something.  This could not be their first time.  He would not give himself to this man…he was not Arthur.

Merlin forced himself to look into Arthur’s eyes.  Managing to brace his right foot on the edge of the metal bed frame, he utilized the little bit of leverage it provided to throw his attacker off balance just enough to wrench his arm free.  He pulled the gun from the back of his jeans, but Arthur recovered faster than he anticipated and grabbed the gun from his hand.

“That was a mistake,” Arthur roared, pressing the barrel of the gun up against Merlin’s chin his finger ready to squeeze the trigger.  “Shame…I hate to destroy that pretty face, but you leave me no choice.”

“Arthur,” Merlin said his eyes wide and pleading, “I know you don’t want to hurt me.  Please, Arthur fight this…don’t let him hurt me.”  He fought to keep his voice even.  “You can stop it…listen to my voice, please.”

“Merlin, shut the fuck up,” Arthur hissed and slapped him hard cutting his lip again.

“Arthur, stop…please, look into my eyes,” Merlin focused everything he had, every bit of love he had for Arthur into his words.  “Listen to me…hear me now,” Merlin’s voice deepened.  “Mod wesan hygefrymm meagolnes,” he spoke, his tone guttural and intense.  Arthur flinched visibly and Merlin saw an opening.  He repeated the spell his hand splayed flat over Arthur’s heart.

“What the hell?” Arthur asked.

“Arthur?” Merlin said softly, his eyes turning gold.

Arthur pulled back at the sight and shook his head harshly, “What are you?”

“Arthur, can you hear me?” Merlin asked.

“What the fuck are you trying to do to me?”

“I am trying to help you!”

Arthur heaved himself up off the bed and leveled the gun on Merlin.  “I don’t need your fucking help.”

Merlin watched as Arthur slowly squeezed the trigger, forcing himself to not look away.  “Arthur…don’t, please…don’t let him kill me…”

“Stop looking at me like that!” Arthur snapped the gun dropping just a fraction.

“Arthur, I need you to see me,” Merlin said as he slowly sat upright, “Really see me.  I know you’re scared, but you don’t have to be.  Let me be your anchor.”

“Merlin…” Arthur said, his eyes filled with confusion, panic, and pain.  He looked at the gun in his hand and the knife lying on the bed.  “Oh God,” he gasped, stumbling back against the wall. The gun dropped to the floor and he saw Merlin, his jeans open, his shirt ripped and stained with blood from his neck and lip.  The darkening marks on his pale throat.  “Merlin,” he choked back a sob collapsing to his knees.

“Arthur,” Merlin smiled, “It’s all right.”

“No,” Arthur said, “It’s not…Merlin…it’s so fucking far from all right.”

“Come on, let’s just get you home,” Merlin said, “We will figure all this out…I promise.”

Arthur’s head lowered as he got to his feet.  But when he looked at Merlin again, a slow and cruel smile spread across his face.  “Impressive, Merlin, you were so close…you almost got him back.  But you see, his will is mine now.  He has no desire to resist anymore.  He has surrendered to me like the beaten dog that he is.”

“No, Arthur,” Merlin shook his head, “Please, don’t give up.”

“Too late,” Arthur shrugged.  “Now, I am really fucking bored with this game.  Stay away from me, Merlin.  If I see you again, I will kill you.”

“Arthur!” Merlin lunged forward, but Arthur’s fist caught him across the jaw sending him flying back on the bed.

“There will be no happy ending for you, street rat,” Arthur smirked then grabbed his knife off the bed.  He picked up Merlin’s backpack and finding his phone, shoved it into his coat pocket.  “Thanks for returning my phone,” he chuckled then tossed the bag at Merlin.

“Arthur,” Merlin sobbed, his chest aching as he struggled to focus.  He looked up as he walked out leaving him there alone.  “Arthur…” he said his voice breaking.

“Merlin!”

Merlin opened his eyes to find a frantic Morgana hovering over him, her green eyes filled with fear and concern.  He winced as she helped him to sit up checking him over.

“Paramedics are on the way,” Morgana said brushing her hand lightly over his cheek, “You shouldn’t have gone after him alone.”

“I had no choice,” Merlin said as she wiped the blood from his lip with a damp washcloth.  “I got him back for a moment…but he slipped away again.  How did you even find me?”

“Tracked your phone…Arthur’s GPS is disabled,” she said.

“My magic tracker is still working I can feel him,” Merlin touched his bloodied lip.

Looking down at the open waistband of his jeans.  “Merlin…did he?” she asked.

“No, no, he stopped…I wouldn’t have let him anyway…not like that,” he stuttered.

“Oh, Merlin,” Morgana embraced him gently, “I should have listened to my brother.  I should have taken you somewhere safe.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Merlin said.

“He tried to rape you, Merlin!  He could have killed you.”

“But he didn’t, did he…I got through to him even if only for a moment.  Arthur is still in there and I was able to cast the spell Gaius gave me.”

“A spell for what?”

“To strengthen Arthur’s will and his mind,” Merlin said.

“Which obviously did not work.”

“It worked…at least I think it did.  Perhaps it just needs time to take full effect.  Arthur’s will…he has given up.  I have to get him to fight back.”

“Merlin, you’re in no shape to go up against that Arthur again.”

“I’ll be fine.  I’ve had far worse,” Merlin got up off the bed and fastened his jeans and belt.  He picked up the gun and tucked it into the backpack zipped it up and slung it over his shoulder while trying to hide the pain.

“Dammit, Merlin, wait for the paramedics.”

“I’m not going to the hospital.  For one thing, I will have a hard time explaining why my stab wound has healed so quickly and for another, I don’t have the time to waste.”

Morgana shook her head, “We are going back to Arthur’s apartment to regroup and come up with a new plan before you do anything.”

“Morgana…”

“Non-negotiable, Merlin!  We do it my way or you go straight to the hospital and then to lock-up where I can keep you for at least forty-eight hours,” Morgana glared at him.  “Now move!” 

“Fine,” Merlin huffed a breath then smiled, “You are scary.”

“Damn right,” Morgana beamed proudly.

They left the building and got into Morgana’s car.  Merlin struggled with his emotions as she drove them back home.  The look in Arthur’s eyes at that moment when he came back into himself.  The pain in his voice as he saw what he had done, or almost done to Merlin.  Had Arthur given up?

“Merlin, are you sure you don’t need to go to the hospital?”

“I’m sure,” he said, “Just thinking…”

“We are going to get him back,” Morgana said.

“Even if we manage to do so…the damage to his psyche…the trauma.  Arthur may never be the same.  He may never recover.”

“Arthur has you and he has me.  We will do whatever it takes to help him.”

“Arthur believes that Willard murdered his mother,” Merlin said.

“What?” Morgana asked.

“Your father knew Willard, and so did Ygraine.  They are all connected.  Arthur thinks this is personal.  That Willard’s plan is for him to kill his own father and in doing so the bastard gets his revenge and another pawn for his sick games.”

“My God,” Morgana gasped.

“If Arthur is right, the second that he takes a life while under Willard’s control, the programming will take over completely and Arthur will be lost to us forever.”

“There’s no way to counteract the programming?”

Merlin shook his head, “I don’t know.  The spell Gaius gave me only strengthens his will.  There’s no way to know how many sustained post-hypnotic suggestions he placed.  He could have even planted a failsafe that will prevent anyone else from removing them.”

“How do you even know all this?” Morgana asked.

“Researching when I should have been sleeping.”

“I see,” she nodded, “Well, I think we need to reach out to anyone who may be able to help us.”

“Gaius said he would fly to New York if I needed him.  I think he is our best bet for finding a way to help Arthur.”

“Let me know when and I will have him picked up at the airport.”

Merlin lowered his head pinching the bridge of his nose.  “Morgana, is there a chance that Arthur’s mother’s research still exists?  She was involved with the same special ops team as Willard.  There has to be something out there.  She knew what they were doing, surely she would have continued her research after she left the service.  She may have developed a way to deprogram the victims.”

“Merlin, you are a genius,” Morgana said then pulled the car over, made a very illegal U-turn on the slick street, and headed back in the direction they had come.

“Where are we going?”

“Pendragon Manor,” Morgana said, “If Ygraine’s research still exists it will either be there or there will be a key to finding it.”

“But Arthur’s—your father will be there…”

“Yes, Merlin.”

“I’m not sure I am ready to meet Uther Pendragon.  And I am pretty damn certain I am the last person he wants for his son.”

“You don’t have to worry about that.  Arthur already told him about you.”

“He did?” Merlin asked.

“He did,” she nodded.

“I didn’t realize…”

“That you mean that much to my brother?  Well, now you know.”

“I mean…I knew…but, I guess I figured he would want to keep our relationship quiet, at least as far as Uther was concerned.”

“I knew the moment I saw you two together…before that even, the look in his eyes whenever he mentioned your name.  Merlin, I have never seen my brother as happy as he is when he is with you.  Even when he and Mithian were together, he was never completely himself around her.  He has always kept part of himself locked away until he met you.”

“It’s the same…with me, I mean.  I never let myself trust people, much less let them into my heart.  Arthur is the other half of my soul and I will do anything for him.”

“And it is that connection that will bring him back to us, Merlin.  If anyone has a chance in hell of getting through to Arthur it is you.  Your bond with him is unique and strong.”

“I pray you’re right,” Merlin said.

Morgana turned off the street and drove through huge black iron gates emblazoned with golden dragons.  Merlin’s mouth dropped open as he saw the house…mansion…no, it was a fucking palace!  He remained in the passenger seat not moving as Morgana parked and got out.

“Are you coming or not?” she asked.

“Um, yeah,” he said then checked his hair in the mirror and wiped the last bit of blood from his lip.  There wasn’t much he could do about the cuts and the bruises.

“You look fine, Merlin.  Come along.”

Merlin followed Morgana, his eyes taking in the grandeur of the Pendragon home.  He couldn’t believe that the man he knew and loved grew up in such a place.  Arthur was so grounded, perfectly at home in an all-night diner drinking coffee with a street kid he just met or helping a drunk Gwaine get back on his feet.  He was not the self-entitled, snob that Merlin imagined Uther to be.  Perhaps he was wrong about the man.  Maybe he wasn’t so different from his son.  Morgana grew up there as well and she was just as accepting as her brother.

“Merlin, you’re overthinking this,” Morgana smiled reassuringly, “He’s not going to have you hung in the courtyard or beheaded at dawn.  Relax.”

“Are you certain of that?” Merlin asked as they climbed the flagstone steps to the massive mahogany entry doors.  Morgana pushed one of them open and waited for Merlin to join her before stepping inside.  She smiled as Merlin sucked in a startled breath when he looked up the wide staircase to see Uther Pendragon descending.

“Morgana,” the older man said as he embraced her, “What’s this I hear that Arthur is missing?”

“It’s a long story, father, could we sit for tea and I will tell you everything?  We need your help.”

“We?” Uther asked then turned to look at Merlin, his eyes narrowing.  “You must be Merlin,” he said, his face unreadable.

“Yes, um…yes, sir, I am.” Merlin stammered pulling his hands from the pockets of his coat.  He reached out hesitantly and Uther shook his hand.

“My children speak highly of you, but you don’t look like much to me.”

“Father!” Morgana shrieked.

“Relax, Morgana, I am only messing with him.  Welcome, Merlin…welcome to Pendragon Manor.”

“Oh,” Merlin grinned sheepishly, “Thank you.”

“Come along into the parlor,” Uther said putting a hand on Merlin’s shoulder.  “It seems my son is quite taken with you, Merlin.”

“Yes, sir, and I with him,” Merlin said with no hesitation.

“Good, very good,” Uther smiled.

Morgana waved to a woman standing just outside the door.  “Katrina, tea please, and cookies.  Merlin, would you like something else?  Hot cocoa perhaps or something to eat?”

“Hot cocoa sounds brilliant and cookies are fine,” he grinned and Morgana looked at Katrina who then hurried off to the kitchen.  They entered the parlor which Merlin noticed was as big as Arthur’s living room in his apartment if not bigger.  He sat down on the leather sofa and Morgana settled next to him.  She reached over to take hold of his hand and nodded.

Uther sat in his large leather chair and immediately leaned back steepling his hands beneath his chin.  “What is going on, Morgana?  I get the feeling you all are keeping me in the dark on something involving your brother.”

Morgana nodded then let out a breath.  “Father, we need to know everything you can tell us about Douglas Willard.”

Uther’s face immediately paled.  “Why do you need to know about him?”

Merlin glanced at Morgana as he leaned forward and she nodded.  “You know what Willard is capable of.  You know what he did in the military and what he is still doing.  What he has done to Arthur.”

Uther’s eyes widened in fear and shame, his head lowered.  “Douglas Willard is a dangerous man…a monster.  He has always been power hungry…thrives on control.  He is sick, brutal, twisted…obsessed.  A member of his team reported to me that Willard was torturing their test subjects.  I confronted him and he told me that if I got in his way he would activate the post-hypnotic trigger he planted in Ygraine.  He said with one word she would activate and immediately kill herself and her children.  I am ashamed to say that I backed off.”

“Is that what happened to her?” Morgana asked, “She killed herself?”

“Willard was bluffing, at least we thought he was.  Ygraine told me that he never hypnotized her.  She was furious.  She said that there is no way in hell she would ever trust that man to put her under.  She broke down and told me that she was terrified of Willard that he had slipped something into her drink at a conference two years prior in Chicago and that he raped her.”

“When did that happen?” Merlin asked as a chill ran up his spine.

“In nineteen-ninety,” Uther said frowning.

Morgana’s eyes filled with tears as she shook her head.  “Arthur…is he?”

“No,” Uther said, “Ygraine was already nine weeks pregnant when Willard raped her.  Arthur is mine, but Willard is convinced that Arthur is his.  That he is like him.”

Katrina sat a tray on the table but no one reached for it.  Morgana’s hands were trembling as tears slid down her cheeks.  Merlin was hugging himself rocking slowly back and forth.  Uther was fighting to hold back tears.

“Did Willard kill her?” Merlin asked.

Uther nodded, “Turned out he had programmed her while she was drugged.  He planted the trigger.  He activated it when he found out she had been working against him, gathering evidence.  She wanted to bring him down.  Said she had to do something to rid the world of Douglas Willard before he hurt more innocent people.”

“What happened?” Morgana asked her voice breaking.  Merlin moved closer putting his arm around her and she melted into his embrace.

“God, I wish…” Uther choked, “I tried to talk her down.  I did all I could.  She was lost, there was nothing in her eyes.  I was so grateful that you and Arthur were away at boarding school, that you weren’t there to witness…”

“We need to know everything,” Morgana said.

“Ygraine got into her car, she drove off.  I had ordered the guards to keep the gates closed not to let her out.  She crashed the car into the gates then she…” he sobbed, his shoulders vibrating, “She shot herself before they could pull her out of the car.”

“Oh my God,” Morgana gasped and Merlin hugged her tighter kissing the top of her head.  “Arthur…he was right.”

Merlin met Uther’s gaze, “Arthur believed that Willard was responsible for his mother’s death and that all this is a personal vendetta against you.”

“It is personal,” Uther nodded, “Willard won’t stop until everyone I love is taken from me and then he will kill me.”

“It won’t be Willard,” Merlin said and Uther’s face fell as he realized what Merlin was saying.  “He believes Arthur is his, that he is like him.  He will use Arthur…force him to kill you, and in doing so, Arthur will be forever lost to us and bonded to him.”

“Father, where is mother’s research?” Morgana asked, “We believe there may be something…some way to counteract Arthur’s programming.”

Uther got up and walked to the wall tapping a hidden panel revealing a safe.  He opened it and reached in pulling out a file folder and a small metal box.  Closing the safe he returned to his chair placing them on the coffee table.

“That is all I have,” he said, “Ygraine would never tell me where she kept everything because she wanted to protect us.  All I know is the key in that box opens a storage unit somewhere in the city.  She told me that Arthur would know where it is.”

“We can’t exactly ask him,” Morgana said.

“We may not have to,” Merlin said then stood up pulling his phone out of his pocket.  He dialed Gwaine’s number.  “Gwaine, is Leon there?”

“Yeah, the boys are all here, Merlin.”

“Let me talk to Leon, please,” Merlin said and Gwaine called out to him.

“Merlin needs to speak with you, Leon.”

“Merlin, what do you need us to do?” Leon asked.

“Arthur’s mother had a storage unit somewhere in the city.  She said that Arthur would know where it is.”

“Right, hold on just a second,” Leon said.  A moment later he was back.  “I’ve got Arthur’s laptop.  He kept all information about his mother and her death in a file.  There, found it.  Okay, there is a document here that shows properties that were in her name when she died.  They all transferred to him when he turned eighteen.”

“Is there anything there that might be a storage facility or a locker?” Merlin asked.

“No, nothing…just real estate and bank accounts,” Leon said.

“Well, it was worth a shot,” Merlin let out a frustrated breath.

“Wait, here’s something,” Leon said.  “This is strange.  It says she owned an apartment building in the city, but the address doesn’t make any sense.  It’s in one of the worst neighborhoods.  According to this, the property was passed down to her from her grandfather.”

“I know that address,” Gwaine said, “Merlin, you remember that old apartment building where we used to sleep on cold nights.”

“Dammit,” Merlin swore, “I knew that building was familiar.  That’s why Arthur went there.”

“Merlin?” Morgana asked in confusion and Merlin looked at her.

“Arthur is not lost to us yet,” he grinned, “I have to go back to that apartment building.  That’s where Ygraine’s research is hidden.  Arthur must have figured it out and went there to find it.  He’s still fighting.”

“Merlin,” Leon said, “We will meet you there.”

“Thank you, Leon,” Merlin said then ended the call, “He picked up the file folder and the metal box then nodded to Uther.  He looked at Morgana.  “You should stay here.  It’s not safe and your father needs you.”

“I’m going,” Morgana said obstinately.

“I’ll be fine, I have recently added more security.  I am safe here,” Uther said, “Both of you go…bring my boy home.”

“I will get him back, I promise,” Merlin said.

“I know you will, Merlin.  Arthur is lucky to have you in his life,” Uther smiled.

“That he is,” Morgana said, “Ready?”

“Ready,” Merlin nodded.

Chapter Text

Arthur was in a fog, his head was pounding.  He opened his eyes to look around.  He struggled to focus, to remember…images flashed in his head.  He saw Merlin beaten and bloody, his clothes torn.  He saw himself holding a gun.  He shook his head.

Merlin…wait that can’t be right…he remembered Merlin fighting him, trying to push him off.  Remembered him pleading with him to stop, that he didn’t want it to happen that way.  God no, Arthur closed his eyes against the assault of images, the memories…the feeling of squeezing the trigger and the gun going off.  Seeing Merlin lying on the bed his eyes wide with terror and anguish as he took his last breath…Merlin was dead…he killed him.

“No!” Arthur screamed at the top of his lungs.  “Merlin!”

Admit it, you’re glad to be rid of the little street rat, Arthur.  He was just a nuisance.  You should be thanking me, at least we got a piece of that sweet ass before we put a bullet in his brain.

“No,” Arthur shuddered as he doubled over and threw up on the floor.  “I’ll kill you,” he growled then spit on the floor adding to the mess.

That would be a neat trick because to kill me you have to kill yourself and see I can’t allow that.  I—we need you alive.  You have a part to play in this game, a very important part.

“I won’t kill my father,” Arthur said.

Ah, then you have figured out the endgame.  We underestimated you, Pendragon.  It is a good thing Gideon is such a poor shot or we wouldn’t be having this conversation.  Willard was very upset when he shot you…he was punished severely.

“Merlin, he isn’t dead…this is a trick.”

Poor Arthur, you actually cared about the little twink.

Arthur dropped to his knees and leaned forward letting out a wail of grief, his hands covering his face.  He killed Merlin.  Merlin trusted him and he raped and killed him.  He didn’t deserve to live.  He wanted to die.

“I didn’t…I couldn’t hurt Merlin.”

Ah, but you did, or rather we did.  I must say fucking that boy was rather enjoyable.  I get what you saw in him.  He was a feisty one.  A bit mouthy for my taste, but then that mouth was made for other things wasn’t it?  I wonder how many times he sold his body while living on the streets.  How many men he dropped to his knees for?

“Stop!” Arthur snapped, “Do not talk about Merlin that way.”

Very well, enough about Mer—lin.  You have more important things to prepare for.  Your father will be here soon.

“My father?”

You didn’t know…Douglas Willard is your real father.  He is so proud of the man you have become.  A chip off the old block…a killer.  And now with your first kill under your belt, you are ready.

“My father?” Arthur asked his stomach roiling, “That cannot be.”

Ah, but it can.  He and your lovely mother had a secret tryst in Chicago in nineteen-ninety.  You were born nine months later.

“No, that’s not true.”

Believe it…don’t believe it…makes no matter.  You are not Uther’s son, but he doesn’t know that.  He believes you are his and when you kill him…ah that…that will be the ultimate revenge.  Then you will be bound to your true father, you will cease to exist and I will live on in your place. 

Arthur raised his head, “If I killed Merlin, why am I even here?  Why am I still me?”

It seems your will is much stronger than we anticipated.  No matter.  Once you kill Uther your will becomes mine.  When I take my rightful place as successor, I’ll leave bodies in my wake and no one will be able to stop me.  And the best part is it’ll be you that authorities hunt…your stellar reputation, the Pendragon name forever ruined.

“I’ll find a way to stop you, to stop Willard,” Arthur hissed.

Good luck with that.  Oh, and that beautiful sister of yours…it won’t be long before she is brought over to our side.  Willard really wants that sweet piece…

“You leave Morgana alone,” Arthur said.

Come now Arthur, you expect me to believe you never thought about…I mean she is not actually your sister.  Fair game now.  Personally, I cannot wait…

“Shut up!” Arthur screamed, his hands pressing against his ears, “Just shut the fuck up!  Leave me alone.”

Very well, I suppose you have earned a little quiet time.  But I will be back.

Arthur’s entire body shook violently.  He rolled onto his side on the cold concrete floor.  His chest ached, and his heart shattered into pieces.  He couldn’t go on like this.

Dragging himself up off the floor he crawled onto the broken-down twin bed and rolled onto his back staring up at the ceiling.  He closed his eyes tightly trying to push away the images replaying in his mind.

“Merlin,” Arthur croaked as his body was wracked with full-body sobs.  He didn’t want to go on living without Merlin.  He couldn’t let his father and Morgana fall victim to Willard.  The only way out of this was to kill himself.  He had to cut the head off the snake and hope that somehow Morgana would get Willard on her own.

Glancing over at the window, Arthur got off the bed and moved toward it.  He took a breath then punched his fist through the glass shattering it, slicing his hand in the process.  He picked up a jagged piece of the glass and silently sliced his own throat.  He fell to the floor as the warmth of his blood flowed from his body pooling around him.  He felt a sense of relief, of peace.

“Checkmate, you bastard,” he whispered then let his eyes drift closed.

Merlin and Morgana returned to the apartment scouring every inch of it.  Leon and the others went through the rest of the building.  So far they had found nothing.

“It has to be here,” Merlin frowned.  Arthur came there for a reason.  He was looking for help.  “Wait…” he said then headed out of the apartment and down the stairs.  Morgana followed him.

“Merlin, there’s nothing here,” she frowned.

“The basement.  Gwaine and I used to sleep down there near the boiler room.  I remember a locked door.  He pulled the key out of the metal box and walked through the boiler room to a white metal door that looked too new to be original to the building.  “This has got to be it,” he said then put the key into the lock and turned it.  The door unlocked.

“Merlin, you’re a genius,” Morgana smiled.  “Boys we found it, boiler room,” she said over the earpiece.

Merlin opened the door and found a light switch.  The room was clean and white in stark contrast to the rest of the building.  There was a table in the middle with a computer, the walls lined with built-in cabinets.  It looked like a lab.  Ygraine had her own secret lab.

“Holy shit,” Gwaine said as he came into the room behind Morgana.  Percival, Leon, Lance, and Elyan right behind him.

Merlin opened a drawer of files and started going through them.  They were all labeled with numbers.  The numbers must be identification for the test subjects.  He opened a few of the files and there were photos and physical, psychological, and emotional studies.  Merlin opened more files, one he recognized.

“Fuck,” he said under his breath, “Jeffrey Ross…”

“Who?” Morgana asked.

“The homeless kid that Willard paid to participate in a study and was later found in the river with thirty-seven stab wounds.  Ygraine really was collecting evidence against Willard and he killed her.”

“We need to find her research,” Morgana said.

Merlin moved to the computer and booted it up.  It was password protected.  “Password…any ideas?” he asked Morgana.

Morgana moved to the computer and quickly typed in a password and hit enter.  “Father uses the same password.  It was their thing.  Pendragon spelled backward followed by Arthur’s birthday.”

“Not very secure,” Merlin chuckled.

“Lucky for us,” she smiled and Merlin quickly searched the hard drive for Ygraine’s research files.  “There,” Morgana said pointing to a file folder labeled Project Lucidity.  Merlin clicked on it and inside were notes, documents, photos, videos, and lists.  “This is going to take forever.”

“We don’t have forever,” Merlin said.  “Does anything jump out at you?”

“There, try that one,” Morgana said and Merlin clicked on it.

“Bingo,” he said as they read the notes, “She did find a way to counteract Willard’s programming but it looks like it’s only partially effective a band-aid.  But it’s something at least.  There’s no internet down here.”  He looked around and spotted a printer and turned it on.  He printed off everything he could in the file.

Morgana pulled open a drawer looking through the contents.  She found a photo of herself and Arthur when they were little.  She smiled and tucked it into her purse.  There was a heavy case, she opened it to find a gun and ammunition.

“She was really scared,” Morgana said softly her eyes brimming with tears.

“We are going to get the son of a bitch,” Merlin said, “I swear to you.  He’s going to pay for what he did to Ygraine and Arthur and so many others.”

“Why did she leave the clues to this place for Arthur?  How could she have known?”

“I don’t know.  Perhaps she knew that if Willard killed her, Arthur would one day seek the truth about her death.  That he would do what she couldn’t,” Merlin grabbed the papers from the printer.  “Let’s go, I’ll try to sort these out on the way.”

“Where are we even going?”

“Arthur is somewhere near the river, but something is telling me not to go there.  Can’t explain it.”

“Then where?” Gwaine asked.

“I’ll let you know on the way.”

Arthur felt heavy, his eyelids felt like they were glued shut.  Breath…he sucked in a breath…he was alive.  Willing his body to move he brought his hand up to his throat, the skin was unbroken.  He was alive.

Nice try, but you see nothing is real.  You’re not real.  It’s all a lie, Arthur.  You’re not in control anymore, I am.  The sooner you accept that the better.  Father is waiting for us.  Time to fulfill your destiny…time to kill Uther.

“Merlin,” Arthur said hoarsely.

Wow, you really had it bad for him.  No happy endings in this story.  He’s dead and the guilt will eat you up.  Unless, of course, you put an end to your suffering and let go.  Join me, Arthur.  The pain, the loneliness, the guilt will all go away and you will be free.

“Fuck you,” Arthur groaned forcing his eyes open.  He pushed himself up onto his elbows just as a door opened.  He blinked slowly, his vision clearing as someone moved toward him.

“Hello, Arthur,” Douglas Willard smiled.  “My son, at last, we are together.”

“I won’t do it,” Arthur hissed.

“Listen to me, Arthur,” Willard smiled, “Sycamore leaves.”

Arthur sat upright.  “Father?” he asked.

“Yes, my son, you are home.  Come along now, let’s get you ready.”

“Yes, father,” Arthur nodded and got up off the bed.

“I bought you some new clothes, the bathroom is through there.  Take a shower, shave, get dressed and join me for dinner.”

“Thank you,” Arthur grinned.

“Of course, my son.”

Arthur went into the bathroom, turned on the shower, and undressed.  The shower felt so good and he hummed softly as he washed his hair and body.  He turned around and rinsed off then got out wrapping a towel around his waist.  Glancing at his reflection in the mirror he froze for a moment as an image flashed in his mind.  He pushed it away and picked up the fresh razor and shaved.

He got dressed and found his way downstairs to the dining room.  Willard stood up and smiled motioning with his hand toward the empty chair next to him and Arthur sat down.

“I had the cook prepare your favorite, herb-crusted chicken and pasta.  Would you like a glass of wine?”

“Yes, thank you, father,” Arthur smiled, “Though, I should really get going soon.”

“There is still time, relax and enjoy your dinner and dessert.  You can leave after.”

“Yes, father.”

“You’re such a good son, so loyal and obedient.”

“You know I will always be loyal to you.”

“To no one else,” Willard said.  “Shame about the boy…Merlin.  He could have been useful.  It seems he had unique talents.”

Arthur huffed a laugh, “He was a nuisance, a street rat.  Meant nothing to me.”

Willard nodded, “How do you feel, Arthur?”

“Good…very good.  Rested and ready.”

“And you understand the plan.  You will make sure Uther Pendragon suffers before you kill him.”

“Absolutely,” Arthur nodded, “I will make him pay for what he took from you, father.  He will die slowly and painfully.  He destroyed our family, I will destroy him, I promise you.”

“Good boy,” Willard smiled.  “You know what to do then.”

“Yes, I will walk right through his front door.  He won’t see me coming.”

“And if anyone gets in your way?”

“I will take care of them too.”

“Not Morgana, though.  You will bring her to me.”

“Yes, of course, father.”

“Once we have her, we can be a real family,” Willard smirked then sat back taking a drink of his wine.

“Why do you want her, father?” Arthur asked.

“You know why.  She is strong and beautiful.  She belongs with us.”

“And what if she refuses?  What if she won’t cooperate?”

“Then…you will kill her too,” Willard shrugged.  Arthur’s eyes darkened and Willard lowered his wine glass.  “Is that going to be an issue?”

Arthur sucked in a breath and looked at his father.  “No…no, of course not.”

“You cannot be soft, my son.  You know what must be done.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry, father.”

“You are forgiven.  After all, Morgana is a special girl.  I would hate to have to take her life.  I have much more pleasurable things in mind for her.”

Arthur leaned back as the food was placed in front of him.  He started to eat.  His stomach was empty.  He frowned, staring down at the fork in his hand, and picked up the knife.  Images flashed in his mind again, and he shook his head.

“Son?  What is it?”

“Nothing, just lightheaded, probably just hungry.”

“You haven’t eaten in a while.  Dig in, my boy.”

Arthur ate and finished his wine with dessert.  “That was delicious.”

“Feel better?”

“Much, thank you.  I should get going now.”

“Yes, of course, don’t let me keep you.  We will meet up after as planned.”

“Yes,” Arthur nodded then got up and grabbed his jacket.

“Keys are in the Jaguar,” Willard smiled.

“Thank you, father.  I will see you later.”

“Make me proud, Arthur.”

Arthur smiled and left the house.

“Where is he?” Morgana asked.

“He’s on the move,” Merlin said, “He’s driving.  Heading north through the city.”

“North…he’s going to Pendragon Manor,” she said then hit the accelerator, “He’s going after our father.”

Merlin pinched the bridge of his nose as he struggled to focus on the papers while keeping track of Arthur.  Ygraine’s notes were complicated and he was not exactly an expert on the subject no matter how much research he had done.

“Leon,” Morgana said after dialing the number through her car, “Arthur’s heading for Pendragon Manor.”

“Gotcha,” Leon said, “Do you think we should call in the police?”

“Not yet, if Willard sees police, God knows what he will do to Arthur.  We need to proceed carefully.  Merlin is working on the research.”

“All right, we will come in from the rear of the property.  Through the gardens.”

“Good idea, be careful, Arthur is not Arthur,” Merlin said, “I don’t know if reaching him is even possible anymore.”

“I have faith in you,” Leon said, “If anyone can get through to the real Arthur it is you, Merlin.”

“I hope you’re right.”

Morgana ended the call and reached over to squeeze Merlin’s forearm.  “We do this together, Merlin…you and me,” she said.  “Whatever it takes…”

“Whatever it takes,” Merlin said with a nod.

Uther sat down in the parlor with a cup of coffee.  He looked out the window at the falling snow and then picked up the newspaper.  He heard the front door open and close.

“Morgana?” he called out.

“Not quite.”

Uther looked up as Arthur walked into the room.  His eyes lit up for a moment and he smiled until he saw the darkness in his son’s eyes and the hard set of his lips.  His arms at his sides, hands clenched.  This was not his Arthur.

“So, this is how it is to be?” Uther asked.  “Willard is too much of a coward to fight his own battles.  He has to use a pawn…to use my son of all people.”

“I am not your son,” Arthur said, his voice thick and angry, “You destroyed my family.  You took my mother.”

“No, you’re wrong.  It was Douglas Willard who took your mother from us.  Just as he is trying to take you from me.  Arthur, listen please, it doesn’t have to end this way.  You can fight it.  You are strong.  You are a Pendragon.”

“I hate you!” Arthur said viscerally then he rushed forward gripping the front of Uther’s shirt choking off his air.  “You should have told the guards at the gates about me, I drove right through, they didn’t even question me.  In protecting the family name, you have sealed your fate.  Secrets, Uther…so many secrets.”

“Arthur…” Uther gasped, “Please, son…”

“Stop calling me that.  My father is Willard…not you!”

“He’s lying to you, Arthur.  Willard is pure evil.  You are my son.”

“Stop it!” Arthur hissed and punched Uther across the jaw, “Enough lies.  You killed my mother.”  He pulled the knife from his pocket pressing it against Uther’s cheek drawing blood.  “Tell the truth!”

“Arthur, I love you…” he said softly.

“You love no one but yourself!  You care nothing for me.  You demand perfection yet you are so Goddamn flawed.  You are a hypocrite.  I am damaged, so damaged that I can never have a normal relationship.  I never measured up to your expectations.  You never said you were proud of me.”

Uther nodded slightly, “You’re right, Arthur.  I admit I failed you.  After your mother died I was so consumed by my own grief that I closed myself off from you and your sister.  I focused on the job and nothing else mattered.  I regret that so much, but I love you and Morgana…the two of you are everything to me.”

“You’re a liar,” Arthur snapped digging the blade of the knife into Uther’s neck.  “You are a piece of shit and I am going to rid the world of you.”

“Then do it,” Uther said stoically, “If that is what you truly want to do, then do it.”

Arthur yanked him out of the chair and dragged him out of the parlor toward the front doors.  He threw him down on the floor at the bottom of the grand staircase.  Uther winced as his son kicked him multiple times in the stomach and ribs.

“I hate you!” Arthur screamed at him.

“I love you,” Uther said softly.

Arthur stopped cold and stumbled backward.  He shook his head and looked up the stairs to see his mother smiling down at him from the top.  He stared at her in disbelief.

“Mother?” Arthur asked his voice trembling.

“Arthur, please stop.  You don’t want to do this, my son,” Ygraine said softly as she came down the steps.  “Willard is lying to you, my darling.  It wasn’t Uther who took my life it was Willard.”

“No,” Arthur shook his head, “It’s not true.”

“It is true, my sweet boy.  This is not you.  I need you to fight, Arthur.  I need you to see the truth.  Please, trust your heart…trust Merlin.”

“Merlin?” Arthur asked then shook his head, “Merlin is dead, I killed him.”

“Please,” Merlin grinned as he came down the stairs, “As if you could hurt me…a powerful sorcerer.  Willard is lying.  I need you to fight this, Arthur.  You have to fight it.  This is not what you want to do.  This is what Willard wants.”

Arthur stared at Merlin and shook his head.  “No, I saw you bloody…beaten.  I—I hurt you, I shot you.”

“You saw what Willard wanted you to see, Arthur.”

“Arthur,” Morgana said softly as she came to stand next to Ygraine, “Little brother, you are the strongest person I know and I love you.  I believe in you.  Willard is lying.  What you saw is not real.  Merlin is alive and he is with me.  He loves you.”

“After what I did to him…” Arthur shook his head, “He will hate me.”

Merlin looked up at Ygraine and Morgana then turned to Arthur.  “Arthur, I need you to hold on.  I’m coming…just hold on.  Do not give in.  Do not kill your father.”

Arthur looked down at Uther again and his rage surged.  He reached for him but Merlin stepped in between.  Arthur closed his eyes. 

“You’re not real…none of this is real,” he said.

“You’re right, we aren’t real, not exactly.  We are the magic…Merlin’s magic.  Just hold on he will be here soon.  I know you’re scared, but you don’t have to be.  Let me be your anchor.”

Arthur froze as he recognized the words.  Merlin had said those same words to him in that apartment.  He shook his head again.

“You are dead…”

“Trust me,” Merlin gave him that wide grin, “I am very much alive and when this is over we are going to be together, but I need you to fight.  You have to fight.”

Arthur stumbled backward bumping into a table.  He spun around as the front door opened and Morgana came in with Merlin right behind her.

“Arthur, it’s all right,” Morgana said holding her hands out to him.

“Arthur,” Merlin said walking toward him without hesitation, “I’m here now.”

“Merlin…” Arthur said his eyes wide with confusion and desperation.

“Yes, it’s me…I’m me.”

“I killed you…”

“Reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated,” Merlin gave him a cheeky grin.  “I am alive, I am here and I know a way to help you, but I need you to trust me, Arthur…please.”

“I don’t understand what’s happening to me,” Arthur said pressing his hands to his face.  “Nothing makes any sense.”

Merlin moved closer to him.  He took hold of Arthur’s hand moving it to his own heart then pressed his hand to Arthur’s heart and looked into his eyes. 

“I need you to trust me, Arthur.”

“I trust you, Merlin,” Arthur said softly.

Merlin’s eyes flashed gold and suddenly they were alone, standing in the middle of the woods, near a lake.  Merlin looked around and smiled.

“What is this place?” Arthur asked.

“It’s your safe place in your mind.  It’s where you have been hiding.  I’m here to take you home,” Merlin said, leaning forward and pressing his forehead to Arthur’s.

“I can’t go,” Arthur shook his head, “I don’t want to live without you.”

“Arthur, you did not kill me.  That was Willard…he planted false memories in your mind.  I am fine, feel me…feel my heart beating beneath your fingertips.  I am alive Arthur.  I can help you, but I need your permission…I need you to allow me to plant a sort of switch in your mind.  It will sever Willard’s hold over you.  It will bring you back to me.”

“Are you sure?” Arthur asked.

“I am,” Merlin said.

“Okay,” Arthur nodded.

Merlin smiled letting out a relieved breath.  “Arthur, do you remember what we said to each other in your bedroom?  I need you to listen very carefully to me.  “I think I’ve loved you before…I think I’ve loved you before.”

“I think I’ve loved you before,” Arthur repeated and a bright light surrounded them.

When Arthur opened his eyes, Merlin was in front of him.  They were on their knees wrapped in each other’s arms.  He let out a choked sob wrapping his arms tighter around Merlin tears sliding down his face.  He drew back looking at him and shook his head.

“I thought…God, Merlin…I—I hurt you,” he choked.

“It wasn’t you, and nothing happened.  It was not real,” Merlin said, “I love you, Arthur.  You’re going to be okay.”

Morgana helped Uther to his feet.  Arthur looked at his father beaten and bloody, that was his doing.  He got to his feet and stumbled into Uther’s arms.

“I’m so sorry,” Arthur said.

“It wasn’t you, my son,” Uther smiled, “It’s all right.”

Arthur’s eyes hardened then.  “Willard…”

“We will get him, Arthur,” Morgana said.

“No, it has to be me…I am the only one who can get close enough.  As long as he believes I am still under his control, he won’t suspect anything.”

“You can’t, what if he puts you under again?” Morgana asked.

“Merlin?” Arthur asked.

“The switch I implanted will help, but it is not a permanent solution.  Your mother discovered a way to reverse Willard's programming, but it means putting you under hypnosis again and the only person I know of that we can trust to do it is Gaius.  He is on his way here but we can’t wait for him.  If Willard suspects anything he will go on the attack and God knows what tools he has at his disposal.”

“Then I am going to stick to the plan,” Arthur said then looked at his father, “Which means you have to die.”

“So be it,” Uther nodded with a slight smirk.

Arthur walked out of the house with a relaxed grin and a wave at the guards as he passed through the gates and crossed the street to the waiting black limousine.  He got into the back.  “It’s done,” he said with a smug smile and handed his phone to Willard with the photos of Uther’s battered, bleeding, and disemboweled body.  Thanks to Merlin’s magic the photos and the video were absolutely gory.

Willard chuckled as he flipped through the photos and watched the video through twice.  He tapped on the glass alerting the driver and the car started to move.

“You did well, my son,” he smiled, “Very impressive.”  He looked out the rear window as paramedics and police turned off the street and into Pendragon Manor.  “And Morgana?”

“She showed up as I was leaving.  She didn’t see me.”

“Good, very good.  We will let her be for now.  There will be time to bring her into the fold later.  Right now, we celebrate,” Willard said then reached into the bar and poured two glasses of scotch, handing one to Arthur who drank it down.  “How did it feel?” he asked.

“It felt…liberating,” Arthur grinned.

“The world is finally free of Uther Pendragon.”

“Good riddance,” Arthur chuckled.

“Was he surprised to see you?”

“Stunned…I interrupted his evening coffee and newspaper time.”

“It’s a shame, I would have liked to be there to see the look on his face.”

“I would have taken more photos, but I was occupied at the time,” Arthur smirked.

Willard laughed, “I knew you were just like me, my son.  You are a born killer.”

“I shall strive to live up to your legacy, father.  Do you even remember how many you have killed over the years?”

“By my own hand, I killed over thirty.  Then I grew bored.  The killing was too easy.  It was more challenging to corrupt others, to turn them into me.  To make them do my bidding.  You, my son, are my ultimate triumph.  I took a strong, moral, protector of the people and turned him into a bloodthirsty killer.”

“Yes, you did.  Then again, maybe deep down I always was one,” Arthur said.

“Cheers,” Willard said then refilled Arthur’s glass.

Chapter Text

Morgana and Merlin had waited while the paramedics loaded Uther into the ambulance and took him to the hospital under a fake name to keep Willard in the dark.  Morgana called in every favor she could to keep the fallout to a minimum.  Only trusted people would know that he was still alive and what happened.  The story was released to the news.  The New York City Police Commissioner being brutally beaten and tortured and killed was not a story that could be kept under wraps.  To keep Arthur safe the story had to be out there.  If Willard suspected anything was amiss it would all come apart and he would kill Arthur.

Merlin was struggling with the pull to go after Arthur and the need to stick to their plan.  Gwaine, Leon, and the others were feeling the same.  They had to be patient and wait for Arthur’s signal to move in.  He glanced at Morgana seeing the same yearning in her eyes.  The wait was going to be torture and what if Willard used hypnosis again, would the switch Merlin planted protect Arthur?

Glancing down at his phone for the millionth time, Merlin shook his head.  If he didn’t hear from Arthur in another hour he was going after him, fuck the damn plan.  He sat down on the stairs, drawing his knees up to his chest, staring at the screen of his phone. 

“Staring at that screen isn’t going to make things happen any faster,” Gwaine said as he sat down on the steps next to Merlin.  “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” Merlin frowned.  “I’m scared.  When all this is over, how is Arthur going to deal with it?  After all he has been through.  It’s not going to be easy.”

“He will have you, Morgana, his father, and his friends.  Arthur will get through it.  He is strong and stubborn as hell,” Gwaine said.

“I wish my magic could fix everything.”

Gwaine nodded, “I know you do, but there are some things that need time and love to fix.  Things that cannot be rushed.  Listen to the voice of experience, Arthur is going to be hurting for a while, but he will get through it.”

“How are you doing?” Merlin asked.

“One day at a time,” Gwaine smiled, “I am a work in progress.”

“I’m sorry, I haven’t exactly been there for you lately.”

“Merlin, I owe you my life many times over.  I would not be here right now if you had not been there for me the past three years.”

“You’re my best friend,” Merlin smiled.

“And you’re mine.  So, that means I get to be your best man when you and Arthur get married right?”

Merlin laughed, “That is a long way off.  We haven’t even had a first date.”

Gwaine shook his head, “Anyone who sees the two of you together for barely five minutes can see that what you have is real and right.”

“It is, but I am not going to pressure Arthur.  I have to be patient and give him space to heal while still being there when he needs me.”

“You never cease to amaze me,” Gwaine smiled, “You’re very wise for one so young.”

“Comes from being forced to grow up far too fast.  Losing my mother at twelve, never knowing my father.  The foster parents I lived with weren’t exactly loving and supportive…”

“Were they abusive?”

Merlin shrugged, “It’s in the past.”

“Sorry,” Gwaine frowned, “You’ve never wanted to talk about that part of your life.  I should know better than to bring it up.”

“It’s all right.  Not your fault.  I’d rather forget about those years.”

“You should think about talking to someone…Gwen has really helped me.”

Merlin nodded, “There’s a lot I still need to tell Arthur.  He should know what kind of a person he is getting into a relationship with while he can still walk away.”

“I can guarantee you there is nothing you can tell him that will make him walk away from you, Merlin.”

“I’m not so sure…”

“I am.”

“You don’t even know all I have done, Gwaine.”

“It doesn’t matter to me, and it won’t matter to Arthur either.  I know you were dealt a shitty hand in life, but you have come through it all.  You are strong, hopeful, loyal, and braver than anyone I know.  There is no one I trust and respect more than you, Merlin.  You’re a good man.”

“Thank you, Gwaine,” Merlin gave him a small smile.

“No need to thank me, Merlin.  I am only speaking the truth,” Gwaine said as he reached over to pat the younger man’s knee.

Merlin’s phone vibrated and he looked at it and frowned.  “Not Arthur,” he said as he texted Gaius back.  “Gaius is in the air.  He will be landing at JFK in an hour.”

Gwaine nodded, “I’ll go tell Leon to call Gwen.  She will pick him up and drive him to Arthur’s apartment.”

“Tell her thank you,” Merlin said.

“Will do,” Gwaine said then got up and went in search of Leon.

Merlin pressed his phone to his chest dropping his head.  “Come on, Arthur…” he whispered.

Arthur struggled to maintain his cover as Willard continued to celebrate the death of Uther.  They drove around the city for what seemed like forever before Willard said something to the driver.  Arthur felt the weight of his phone in his pocket his fingers itched to text Merlin, but he couldn’t risk it yet.  He had to keep up the act until they got to a secure location where Arthur could get the upper hand and contain Willard before the man had a chance to get into his head again.

To say he was afraid was an understatement.  Arthur knew he had one shot at this.  If he failed and Willard earwigged him again, it would all be over.  He’d already made a conscious decision to put a bullet in his own head before he allowed Willard to control him any longer.  He didn’t want to die, but if it came down to a choice between dying or turning into a monster, he would choose death.

“Arthur, what’s wrong, son?” Willard asked as he downed another glass of scotch.

Keep drinking, you piece of shit.  Arthur smirked then shook his head.  “Nothing, everything is fine.  Just enjoying the memory of the look on Uther’s face right before I sliced him open.”

“Did he scream…beg, plead for his life?” Willard asked almost eagerly and Arthur clenched his fists pressing his knuckles into the sides of his thighs to keep from wrapping his hands around the man’s neck.

“He cried like a baby,” Arthur said with feigned amusement.

“That is wonderful news, my son.  Oh, how I wish I could have been there.”

Arthur smiled, “I’m curious though, Uther said that it was you who killed my mother.  Was he lying?”

“Ah, yes, Ygraine…amazing woman.  I loved her, you know?  Loved her beyond all reason.  If only she had not rejected me.  We belonged together, but she just couldn’t see that.  I gave her so many chances, far too many.  Then we had that romantic night in Chicago and she accused me of raping her to save face with Uther.  Rape, utterly absurd, it was a beautiful act of love and you were born of that love, my son.”

“So, Uther was lying?  You didn’t kill her?” Arthur asked casually.

“Oh, I killed her…indirectly, of course,” Willard laughed, “She left me no choice.  She was undermining everything…threatening my work, jeopardizing my carefully orchestrated plans for you.  I could not allow that.  Surely, you can understand that, my boy.  I could not let her come between us.”

Arthur pushed down his rage and forced a smile.  “Of course, father.  You have always done what was best for me…I understand that.”

“You are such a good son, I love you, Arthur.”

“I love you too, father,” Arthur said, his stomach roiling as he uttered the words.  He looked out the window realizing they were near the river.  “Are we not going to the house?” he asked.

“I thought we would make a stop first,” Willard smiled, “Is that a problem?”

“No, not at all.  It has just been a long day.  I’m rather tired.”

“Of course, how selfish of me.  You have had a trying day.  We will go home very soon.  I really must take care of something first.  There’s someone I have been searching for.  He’s been eluding me for decades.”

Arthur’s blood ran cold hearing that tone in Willard’s voice.  “Who?” he asked.

“One of my men, he betrayed me.”

“Your men?  You mean from the military?”

“Ah yes, he was my most trusted comrade until he turned traitor.  He turned against me…ruined everything.  He went to my superiors, including Uther.  Revealed closely guarded secrets about my work.  He destroyed everything and then disappeared like a coward.  Uther is finally dead, and now I shall take my revenge on Balinor Emrys.”

Arthur barely managed to keep his expression neutral when he heard the name.  Balinor Emrys…Merlin’s father.  He laughed.  “You should let me take care of him for you, father.”

“Ah, yes, I remember my first kills…the blood lust…the burgeoning need to kill.  It is intoxicating, isn’t it?  Perhaps you are right.  I do prefer being the observer.”

“It would be my honor, father.”

“Very well,” Willard beamed with pride.

The driver pulled up to the same warehouse by the river where Willard had beaten Arthur…where all this began.  They got out of the car and walked into the building.

Three men, more like vending machines with heads, were waiting inside.  Willard dismissed them with a nod and they immediately left the building.  Arthur moved ahead of Willard looking down into the concrete pit that he remembered all too well.  A man sat tied to the same chair he had been tied to.  There was a hood over his head and he was beaten and bloodied.

“May I begin, father?” Arthur asked Willard who smiled and waved a hand.

“By all means, don’t let me hold you back, son,” he said then clapped his hands together once almost gleefully.  “Enjoy yourself, I will just sit back and watch.  You’ll find a wide array of weapons on the table…take your pick.”

Arthur walked to the table, picked up then unsheathed a knife with a slightly curved blade and mean-looking serrated teeth.  He also grabbed a set of three small throwing knives, slipping them into the pocket of his jeans, then turned to look at his ‘father’. He smiled then made his way down the ladder and crossed the concrete floor to stand in front of the captive.

“Let’s just remove this, shall we?”  Arthur yanked the hood off the man’s head.  Balinor glared up at him with deep-set dark eyes that looked nothing like Merlin’s except for the fleeting glimmer of gold in their depths.  Arthur took in his appearance, shoulder-length dark hair and a beard, both with hints of silver.  His long, fleece-lined, leather duster and heavy boots, a blue and gray flannel shirt, and blue jeans, were both ripped and stained with blood.  “You’re looking a bit rough, my friend.”   

“Fuck you,” Balinor growled then spit on Arthur, his saliva landing on his shoe.

“Oh, now that is just nasty,” Arthur made a disgusted sound.  “Spit on me again and I will skip the fun stuff and just stab you in the throat, understand?” Arthur snapped sharply making a disgusted sound.  He lunged forward taking a handful of Balinor’s hair jerking his head back, his mouth right next to his ear.  “If you want to survive this, I need you to trust me.  Play along.  You don’t know me, but I know you.  Trust me and I will get you out of here.”

Balinor glared at him, but there was now a look of confusion and curiosity in his eyes.  “What do you want from me?” he asked then turned to look at Willard.  “Too goddamn lazy to kill me yourself, Willard you bastard?”

“Ah my traitorous friend, you know me, I so enjoy delegating,” Willard smirked, “I’d like you to meet my son, Arthur.  He’s proving his loyalty to me by taking care of my enemies.  First, Uther Pendragon, now you.”

“Uther is dead?” Balinor asked his face going pale.

“Oh dear, how insensitive of me, I forgot you two were close friends.  It was he who helped you to disappear was it not?”

Arthur leaned in again and pressed the knife to flesh. “Is your magic working?” he asked softly, earning him a stunned look from Balinor.  The man seemed to weigh Arthur’s words and gave a barely discernable nod.  “Good, wait for my signal then free yourself of the ropes,” he slipped one of the small knives into Balinor’s hand.  “Leave Willard to me.”

“Fuck you!” Balinor growled, tilting his head away from Arthur, but his eyes held no heat, only reluctant agreement.  “Just kill me…get it over with.”

“Come now, I am hurt.  Are we not having a good time?” Arthur asked tauntingly.  “Well, I am…such a good time.  I haven’t had this much fun in ages.  All the time I wasted being the good son.  I’m finally free of Uther Pendragon’s thumb.”

Balinor looked at him his mouth opening in shock.  “You’re Arthur…Ygraine and Uther’s son,” he said letting out a ragged breath.  “Why are you doing this?” he asked, “Willard is evil.”

“Willard is my true father,” Arthur said harshly, “He is proud of who I am…what I can do.  He loves me.  He always knew my potential.”

“What has he done to you?” Balinor asked shaking his head.”

“He set me free,” Arthur smiled then he nodded toward Balinor’s bound hands and headed for the ladder climbing up.  He returned to the table as Willard moved to join him.  He put a hand on Arthur’s shoulder squeezing it gently.

“Sycamore leaves, Arthur,” he said firmly.  Arthur froze then nodded.  He picked up a machete testing its sharpness with a fingertip.  Willard turned and walked to the edge of the pit looking down at his old enemy.  “Enough games, Arthur.  Time to finish this.”

Before turning away from the table, he looked at his phone.  There was a text from Merlin and he nearly laughed out loud.

Exterior secured…gorilla triplets locked up and singing for bananas.

Arthur sent a one-word text back.

Lucidity.

He pocketed the phone and then turned moving to stand just a step behind Willard who looked at him and smiled.

Balinor met Arthur’s gaze with a nod and stood up.  Willard’s expression faltered and he opened his mouth, but Arthur moved behind him.  His arm wrapped around his neck immediately cutting off whatever he was going to say.

“Checkmate, you lose,” Arthur growled in his ear.

“Impossible,” Willard gasped, “My programming is unbreakable!”

“You underestimated me, Willard.  And you definitely underestimated my mother, you fucking bastard.  She beat you at your own game.  She found the key.”

“That bitch!” Willard hissed.

“It must hurt to know she was smarter than you,” Arthur smirked.

“Sycamore Leaves!”  Willard tried to shout, but Arthur’s arm tightened against his windpipe causing it to come out sounding more like a mad tomcat yowling for his dinner in an alleyway.

“You said that already,” Arthur grinned, “Funny…it doesn’t seem to be working.”

Balinor removed the restraints from his feet.  He looked up at Willard.  “You have tortured and tormented…killed innocent people who trusted you to help them.  You are a monster, Willard.  A weak piece of shit.  Ygraine was a good woman, you couldn’t stand that she rejected your advances.  She came to me for help.  I gave up everything to help her bring you down, and I failed, but Ygraine did not.  I will see that the damage is undone.  All those people you harmed in your lust for power,” he looked at Arthur seeing the seething rage in the younger man’s eyes.  “Arthur…it’s over.”

Arthur shook his head, “Not quite.  Willard wanted me to be a killer like him.  He wanted me to kill my own father…well, Uther’s still alive, you fucking bastard.  You failed at that too. 

“I saw those photos…the video,” Willard yelped.

“You were right about Merlin’s special skills,” Arthur grinned, “How does it feel to be manipulated and tricked?  Not so fun when you’re on the receiving end is it?  You made me believe that I violated and killed Merlin…planted those fake memories in my head.  You are a monster and I am not taking any chances.  You will not get away this time...you are going to pay.

“Arthur, I can still give you everything…I am so proud of you, my son.  Please, please just let me fix your programming.  We can go back to being happy.  We can be father and son.”

“You are not my father!” Arthur hissed then in one fluid movement he snapped Willard’s neck and let go, his limp body falling into the pit with a dull thud.  He stared at him for a moment, calm and focused then he nodded and turned to look at Balinor.  He then moved to the ladder to help the injured man to the top.  “Are you all right?” he asked.

“I’ll live,” Balinor smiled, “Are you?”

“I will be as soon as I get that monster’s programming out of my head.”

“I can help you with that.  I just need access to your mother’s research.  You saved my life, Arthur, I owe you.”

“Thank you,” Arthur nodded, “I have a feeling I am going to need all the help I can get.  This whole thing has been a fucking nightmare.”

“Let’s get out of here before Willard’s men come looking for him.”

“They have been taken care of,” Arthur said and Balinor raised an eyebrow.  “There’s something you need to know before we go out there.”

“What?” the older man asked warily.

“There’s someone outside…someone very important to me.  His name is Merlin.”

“I heard you mention him,” Balinor said.

“This is not easy, but I need you to be prepared.  Merlin, he is special…he has magic like you.”

Balinor tilted his head slightly, “Magic?”

“Yes, he is like you, Balinor…because he is your son,” Arthur said.

“My son,” Balinor faltered his knees nearly giving out, “I—I have a son?”

“His mother was Hunith,” Arthur said, “He knows very little about you.  Only what she told him in a letter after her death.”

“Hunith is dead?” Balinor asked, his voice breaking, “When?”

“When Merlin was twelve…he’s twenty-four now.  He has had a hard life, years in foster care and the last seven years on the streets of New York.”

“Dear god,” Balinor gasped tears filling his eyes, “My boy…my son…I had no idea.  I didn’t know he existed.  If I had known…”

“He understands that,” Arthur said, “He doesn’t blame you.  I just thought you should know before you meet him.”

Balinor nodded and wiped his eyes, “Thank you…thank you, Arthur.  You are a good man, like your father.”

Arthur smiled, “I hope you still feel that way when I tell you that Merlin and I are together…in a relationship…well early stages anyway.  Things have been a bit complicated as you might imagine.”

“Together?” Balinor asked, both eyebrows raising, “You two are…”

“Yes,” Arthur nodded, “I love him and he loves me.”

Balinor grinned placing a hand on the younger man’s shoulder.  “Come, introduce me to my son.”  They walked out of the building together as a swarm of police cars and two ambulances pulled up to the warehouse.

Merlin broke away from Morgana who was tied up with explaining what was going on to the new arrivals.  When he saw Arthur, he grinned and ran headlong into his waiting arms.

“Thank God, you’re all right,” Merlin said, “You are all right?  Right?”

“I’m okay,” Arthur chuckled, “Thanks to you.”

Merlin wrapped his arms around Arthur’s neck and kissed him tenderly.  “And Willard?  Where is he?”

“He’s dead, it’s over,” Arthur said kissing his forehead. 

“Thank god for that,” Merlin said his hand splayed over Arthur’s heart.  “I was so afraid he would take control of you again and I would lose you forever.”

“He didn’t, I am here,” Arthur smiled brushing his thumb lightly over Merlin’s cheek.  “Merlin, there’s someone you need to meet.  Willard held him captive in the pit, he wanted me to torture and kill him.”

Merlin shook his head, “What? Who?”

Arthur turned toward where Balinor stood, twenty feet away, watching, staring in disbelief at the son he never knew he had.  Merlin turned to look and froze.  His mouth dropped open.  He saw the man remembered only from the faded and grainy photos his mother had kept over the years, worn from all the times she had pulled them out to look at them…worn even more from the times Merlin had looked at them.  Photos that were locked away in a small storage locker Merlin had kept for years to hold his few precious belongings.

“Father…” Merlin choked back a soft cry.

“My son,” Balinor smiled through his tears as he closed the distance between them throwing his arms around Merlin.  He held on to him.  “God, you look just like your mother…you’re beautiful…I’m so sorry, Merlin.  I didn’t know.”

“It’s all right,” Merlin laughed breathlessly, “You’re here now.”

“If I had known about you,” Balinor said as he drew back and looked into his son’s blue eyes.  “Arthur told me what you went through…it must have been so hard for you.  I am so sorry about Hunith…I loved her…I never stopped loving her.  I couldn’t come back because Willard wanted me dead.  He would have killed her too…he would have killed you.”

“I don’t understand, how did you come to be involved with Willard?” Merlin asked.

“I was one of his men on the special ops team.  I was the one who reported to our superiors what he was doing to people.  He was evil.  Ygraine came to me for help bringing him down.  I thought by reporting what he was doing that he would be arrested and locked away.  When he wasn’t I knew I had to run or all those I cared about would be in danger.”

“You knew Arthur’s mother?”

Balinor nodded, “She and Uther were my closest friends.  Uther helped me disappear.  He sent me to live in the mountains of Idaho, a small remote town, where I stayed all these years until somehow Willard found me.  His people dragged me back here so he could take his revenge.”

Merlin looked at Arthur then back at his father.  “Um, you should know…Arthur and I are…”

“I know, son, and I am pleased.  Arthur is a good man, so much like his parents.  I think that is why I trusted him back there before I even knew who he was.”

Arthur glanced over and spotted Morgana heading their way.  He smiled and held his arms open and she ran into his embrace.

“Arthur, god, you’re okay.  I was so scared.”

“I’m fine, Morgana.  Willard’s inside…he’s dead.”

“You?” she asked and he nodded, “Are you all right?”

“I will be,” Arthur grinned and kissed the top of her head.

“Who is that with Merlin?” she asked curiously.

“That is his father, Balinor.”

“His—his father?”

“I’ll fill you in later,” Arthur nodded, “Right now I need a very strong drink.”

Morgana linked her arm with her brother’s and they walked toward Gwaine and the others.  Merlin and Balinor followed.

“Jacobs,” Morgana called out to the detective and he headed over to them.

“Arthur, glad to see you in one piece.”

“Can’t say the same for Willard,” Arthur said.

“Good,” Jacobs smiled.

“Will you take charge?” Morgana asked, “I need to take care of my brother.”

“You got it,” Jacobs smiled.  He motioned to several officers to follow him and they headed into the warehouse to clean up the mess.

“Morgana, I killed him,” Arthur said his voice strained, “With my bare hands, I snapped his neck.  I didn’t think…I didn’t hesitate.”

“Willard was a monster,” Balinor said, “There are God knows how many victims out there like you, with his programming in their minds.  He could have triggered them with nothing more than a phone call or an email, even a word uttered in casual conversation.  I worked with that son of a bitch, there are things he did…the stuff of horror movies.  Actually, worse than horror movies.  Believe me, Arthur, he was not human.  Taking him out was the right thing to do and you should not feel any remorse.”

“But that’s just it,” Arthur said, “I don’t feel remorse…I feel nothing.  I should feel something.”

“Arthur, let’s just get you home,” Merlin said touching his face, “Gaius is there.  He will help you.  We have your mother’s research.”

“And I can help you decipher it,” Balinor said.

“You need to go to the hospital,” Arthur said to the older man.

“I’m fine, I have had far worse.”

Arthur looked at Merlin and smirked, “You two are definitely related.  Stubborn.”

“Yes, we are,” Merlin chuckled.

Arthur should have been asleep, he was exhausted.  Instead, he was standing alone out on the terrace, staring up at the falling snow.  The night sky, the low clouds, the air perfectly still.  The sounds of the city below, subdued, and familiar…comforting.  He shivered, hugging himself against the cold, knowing he should go back inside, but, at the same time, desperate to feel something, anything but the still lingering rage and fear.

“Arthur,” Merlin wrapped a heavy blanket around Arthur’s shoulders.  “You’re going to catch your death.  Come inside.”

“Merlin…”

“What is it?  Talk to me, please.”

Arthur shook his head and choked back a desperate and anguished cry.  Merlin pulled him close.  He held Arthur, his magic surging from his skin, wrapping them in warmth as Arthur pressed his face into the crook of Merlin’s neck.

“I’m here,” Merlin said softly stroking Arthur’s hair.

“Willard won,” Arthur said, his voice trembling, “Merlin, he turned me into a killer.”

Merlin hugged him tighter, “No, Arthur…he failed.”

“But he didn’t really,” Arthur drew back shaking his head, “He got exactly what he wanted…he created a monster…I’m a monster.”

“Willard had to die.”

“How am I supposed to do my job now?  How am I supposed to hunt killers when I am one?”

“Arthur, just because you faced a monster doesn’t make you one,” Merlin said with unwavering conviction.  “You risked everything to stop Willard.  No one else could have done what you did, and you are nothing like him.  You are a good man, the strongest, bravest man I have ever known.”

“You have such faith in me,” Arthur said releasing a breath.

“You’re right, I do,” Merlin smiled.

“Merlin, I need you…need you so badly right now,” he said pleadingly.

Merlin moved closer, pressing his lips to Arthur’s, so gentle and loving that Arthur melted into his embrace.  The kiss became deeper and more desperate as Arthur sought his strength, his warmth, and his unshakable faith.

“Arthur,” Merlin moaned against his lips, “God, we should slow down.”

“We really should,” Arthur laughed huskily, “But I don’t want to.”

“Neither do I,” Merlin smiled.

“I think you should take me to bed then.”

“I can do that,” Merlin said then took hold of Arthur’s hand leading him inside.  They moved quietly past Merlin’s room where Balinor was sleeping.  Gaius was in the other guest room.  “How loud are you?” Merlin asked wagging his eyebrows as he drew Arthur against him and the blanket dropped to the floor pooling at Arthur’s feet.  “My father is next door.”

“I guess we will find out, won’t we?” Arthur grinned and kissed Merlin.

“Are you sure you’re going to be okay with this?” Merlin asked.

“Yes, I don’t want to have these false memories haunting me for the rest of my life, I want to replace them with real ones that are so good they completely eclipse the bad.  Merlin, I need to feel you…the real you.”

“All right, but we will take it slow.  If at any point you need to stop just tell me.”

Arthur nodded then leaned in,  his hands sliding beneath Merlin’s T-shirt pressing flat against his skin, fingertips tracing every line, every curve.  He was trembling with need and lost in Merlin’s warmth.  His mouth captured his in a kiss so filled with desire and longing, their lips and tongues moving together in the perfect dance.

“God, Arthur,” Merlin’s breathing stuttered as Arthur’s mouth trailed along his jaw and then his neck and earlobe.

“Is this all right?” Arthur asked, “It’s all new to me. I mean with a male of course.”

“Yes, fuck, Arthur…”

“You taste good…smell so good.”

Merlin pulled his shirt off over his head and Arthur’s hand covered his completely healed knife wound.  He looked into his eyes and smiled.

“Magic…” he said softly and Merlin nodded.

“Being near you, my magic does things I never imagined it could do.”

“Merlin, I want to feel it…your magic.  Can you?” he asked not sure exactly what he was asking for but trusting Merlin to understand.

“Anything for you, Arthur,” Merlin smiled and kissed him letting his magic flow around them touching, caressing, searching.  “All that I am…my magic, my heart, my body, and my soul…all yours.”

“Merlin, now…I need you now,” Arthur said breathlessly and Merlin undressed and then helped Arthur out of his clothing.  Naked before each other for the first time they stared and touched and kissed.  “God, you are beautiful!”

“As are you,” Merlin smiled then moved onto the bed drawing Arthur down with him.  He kissed him his hands moving over every inch of his gorgeous, muscular, and hard body.  His eyes turned golden and Arthur’s breath caught in his throat as he stared into their beautiful depths.

“Merlin, your eyes…”

“Sorry does it freak you out?” Merlin asked.

“God, no, it’s the most incredible thing I have ever seen…stunning.  What did your magic just do?” he asked.

“Just a little assistance,” Merlin smirked then laughed when Arthur’s eyes widened in the realization of what was happening.  “I thought we should go with you taking me rather than the other way around.  At least for our first time.”

“Merlin, I don’t,” Arthur’s eyes filled with fear.

“You’re not going to hurt me and believe me I want you inside me so badly.  If you’re not ready for that we can stick to the basics.”

Arthur looked at Merlin the softness of his eyes and the light flutter of his fingertips down Arthur’s chest.  He shook his head and smiled.

“I want to,” he said softly and Merlin wrapped his impossibly long legs around his hips drawing him in between his thighs.  Arthur moaned as he felt the heat of his body sheathing him, ever so slowly…wet, slick, and hot.  “God, Merlin…” he gasped.

“Do you want to stop?” Merlin asked and Arthur shook his head his eyes closing.

“You feel so good,” he moaned.

“I was made for you, Arthur.  I know that for certain now,” Merlin grinned his legs and arms wrapping around his lover as Arthur filled him completely.  “Perfection,” he said breathlessly.

“I don’t want to move,” Arthur huffed a breath, “I want to just stay buried inside you forever.”

“That would be a tad awkward,” Merlin chuckled and Arthur kissed him.

“Are you okay, I’m not hurting you?” Arthur asked.

“I am happier than I have ever been in my life,” Merlin said, “I love you, Arthur.”

“I love you too, so much…so very much.  I never thought I could feel this way.”

“I think you should move some now,” Merlin smiled, “Feels even better.”

Arthur kissed him and then withdrew before pushing into him again.  “Holy hell, that…”

“Told you…”

“This is good, so damn good,” Arthur said then moved more his hips moving faster and thrusting harder each time as his release began to build and Merlin moaned and panted beneath him.  “Good lord, that is amazing.”

“That’s it, Arthur,” Merlin gasped tightening his legs around him, “God, yes!”

“I’m so close, Merlin…fuck!”

Merlin wrapped his hand around his thick hard cock and stroked himself to release as Arthur came deep inside him and they collapsed together in a tangle of arms and legs.  Their hearts pounding, skin glistening with sweat.

“That was brilliant,” Merlin said between erratic breaths.

“I never imagined it would be like that,” Arthur smiled his eyes bright and wide and impossibly blue.  “Merlin…”

“Hmm?”

“Now I really want you to do that to me.”

“Believe me, I will, but not tonight.  When I take you I am going to make damn sure there’s no one else around because I am going to take you apart,” he grinned.  “I want to see the range of sounds I can get out of you, my Arthur.”

“I shall definitely look forward to that, my Merlin.”

“Are you all right?”

“I am—I am good…I love you,” Arthur said kissing him tenderly then nuzzling his neck he slowly pulled out of him and they lay together in each other’s arms.

“I love you too, Arthur…more than I can ever say.”

“Tomorrow we see how much damage Willard did to my psyche,” Arthur frowned.

“Everything is going to be okay.  My dad and Gaius have your mom’s research.  Morgana had everything brought over from the lab in the apartment building.”

“I can’t believe that was there all this time.”

“You went to that building searching for it,” Merlin said.

Arthur nodded, “I remember thinking that I needed help and that my mother had to know what Willard was doing.  It turns my stomach to think about what he did to her and that he may have been my real father.”

“He wasn’t your father, Arthur.  Uther is…he told Morgana and me what happened.  That Willard drugged and raped her in Chicago and that she was already pregnant with you when it happened.”

“Yeah, Willard admitted as much to me, but he was so sure I was his son. Morgana said Uther is doing well.  He’s going to be released from the hospital in a couple of days.  I don’t know how I will ever face him after what I did.”

“He knows it wasn’t you…he knows it was not your fault.  He knew what Willard was and what he was capable of and did nothing.  In many ways, he is just as culpable.  He should have stopped it.”

“Why didn’t he?” Arthur asked.

“Because he was afraid that Willard would kill you and Morgana.  He believed Willard was bluffing when he claimed to have programmed your mother because she did not remember him putting her under hypnosis.”

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head, “It’s going to take time…I have a lot to come to terms with.”

Merlin snuggled closer and kissed his chest.  “I am here to help you every step of the way.  You can tell me anything.”

“I can’t shake this feeling that it’s not over…that Willard had multiple contingency plans.  I don’t think we are out of this yet.”

“I hope you’re wrong, but I admit the thought has crossed my mind as well.”

Arthur rolled onto his back and Merlin sat up drawing his knees to his chest.  He reached over tracing figure eights on Arthur’s stomach.

“Why do you do that?”

Merlin shrugged, “Eight is my favorite number…upright infinity.”

“Infinity…”

“Yes, a symbol of our bond…our love…infinity.”

“You’re surprisingly wise and smart, Merlin.  Are you sure you never went to college?”

Merlin huffed a laugh, “I barely managed to finish high school.  College was out of the realm of possibilities.”

“You know, you can tell me anything too, Merlin.  I won’t judge you and nothing you tell me will ever change how I feel about you.”

“I should have known those words would bite me in the ass,” he smirked.

“I never wanted to push, but I know there are things you have kept from me out of fear that I would walk away from you.  Well, you might as well tell me, because I am not going anywhere.”

Merlin fell silent for a moment wrapping his arms around his knees as Arthur put a hand on his forearm.  He nodded as if making the decision to come clean.

“My life…it wasn’t always bad…when it was my mother and me, she worked all the time, but we were close and I was happy.  After she died and I was put into foster care, things got bad…real bad.  I was put with a family that had six other foster kids and they milked the system for as much money as they could.  The seven of us, four boys and three girls, we barely had enough food and all our clothing came from thrift stores or whatever we could steal.  There were times when we were locked inside the bedrooms for days.  Our only food and water was whatever we had managed to stash in the darkest corners of our closets.”

“Dear God,” Arthur breathed.

“The girls got caught shoplifting and CPS was called in.  We were all removed from their care and they were arrested for child endangerment and neglect.”

“Couldn’t have happened to nicer people,” Arthur frowned.

“Yeah, and ironically the foster home I ended up in next was worse,” Merlin said, “I was placed with an older couple with two sons who were older than me by a few years.  They were druggies and they stole money and valuables from their parents to feed their habits.  When that ran out they decided to use me for both entertainment and a form of income.  They…” Merlin’s voice broke and Arthur linked their fingers together. 

“Take your time, Merlin…”

“They beat me, sexually abused me, and then forced me into selling myself for money so they could buy drugs.”

“Oh, Merlin…” Arthur said leaning forward to kiss his shoulder, “If it’s too much…”

“No, I have to get it out now before I lose my nerve again.”

“All right, just take your time.  There’s no pressure.”

“Anyway, I was with them until I turned sixteen.  I ran away and ended up in a juvenile facility for eight months for shoplifting and solicitation.  When I was released they sent me back to them and I ran away.  Ended up living on the streets and doing whatever jobs I could to get by without having to resort to illegal sources of income.  It wasn’t easy.

“I’m sure,” Arthur frowned.

“The best job I ever had was for a small grocery store, I delivered groceries to people.  I loved it.  That’s actually how I met Gwaine.  I saw him on the street, he was starving.  I gave him a couple of apples and a bottle of water out of the bag I was delivering.  We became friends and it was good…things were good for a while then the couple who owned the grocery store were killed…shot in a robbery and the store closed.”

“Merlin, I am so sorry.  God, I wish we had met sooner.”

“Me too,” Merlin smiled.  “Um, anyway Gwaine and I were inseparable.  Watched out for each other.  Kept each other alive.  On really cold winter nights we would make our way to that apartment building your mother owned and we would sleep near the boiler room where it was warm.  Sometimes we stayed in shelters, or friends would let us crash on their sofas.”

“Someone really offered you a modeling job?” Arthur asked.

“Gwaine and his big mouth,” Merlin chuckled, “Yeah, they did.  I didn’t believe them.  To me, modeling was just one step shy of prostitution.  Selling your body legally.  I wasn’t interested.  They pursued me relentlessly for weeks.”

“I can understand why,” Arthur grinned, “You are beautiful.”

Merlin laughed, “That’s kind of what Morgana said and Percival told her that I am the male version of her.”

“Oh, no,” Arthur said, not going there.  “Not after I just had sex with you.”

“Anyway, that is the story of my life…the condensed version.”

Arthur drew him into his arms and kissed him.  “I am so sorry you went through all that.  If I could find those people who hurt you…”

“I don’t even want to remember them,” Merlin said, “It’s in the past and I don’t want to be that person anymore.”

“How do you know Gaius?” Arthur asked.

“Oh, he was a close friend of my mother.  She worked for him in his shop for many years.  He showed her how to make all sorts of potions and remedies and she asked him to help me with my magic.  He was never quite sure what to do with me.  I drove him mad I think begging him for spells and to show me how to make myself invisible so I could play tricks on my mother.”

“You can do that?” Arthur asked raising an eyebrow.

“Nope, never quite mastered that one.  That or teleportation.  I always wanted to transport myself to somewhere tropical in the winter.  Oh, and time travel…I dreamed of going back in time to see the dinosaurs and explore with the Vikings or go back and see what the world was like in the days of King Arthur and Merlin when magic was rampant.”

“That sounds like fun.  If you ever do master that one I want to go with you.”

“Arthur…”

“Yeah?”

“Would you go out with me?” Merlin asked, “I mean on a date…you’ll have to pay of course because I’m flat broke.”

Arthur laughed and kissed him, “Absolutely, when we get through this mess.  I am taking you out for dinner and a play and ice cream.  Whatever you want.  Maybe we could go ice skating, or take a drive somewhere outside of the city.  We could even fly somewhere for a few days.”

“I would love all of that,” Merlin said, “I love ice skating.”

“I am not very good at it, but I would go for you.”

“Next week is Thanksgiving,” Merlin said.

“I forgot all about it.  I usually go to Gwen and Leon’s or to Pendragon Manor for dinner with my father and Morgana.”

“I’m not sure what your father thinks of me.”

Arthur smiled, “When I spoke to him on the phone he apologized for ever doubting you.  He said you are a good man and that we have his blessing.”

Merlin looked at Arthur in surprise.  “He did?”

“Yes.  He said you were willing to risk everything for me.”

“I was…still am,” Merlin nodded.

“We are going to get through this, we are going to build a life together,” Arthur said lightly tracing his thumb over Merlin’s cheekbone.  “I can’t remember my life before you and I never want to know a life without you in it.”

“I feel the same way.  Can I ask you something though?  Mithian…did you love her?  Would you still be with her if you hadn’t been shot?”

“I loved her on some level I suppose, but we were not a good match.  Don’t get me wrong, she was wonderful and so beautiful and sweet.  We had fun together, but it was not the forever love that I feel with you, Merlin.  I have never felt like this before.  You are everything to me.  I hope you realize that.”

“I do,” Merlin smiled and kissed Arthur, “And you should know that you are the only person I have ever given my heart to.”

“And I have no intention of giving it back, Merlin,” Arthur smiled and rolled Merlin onto his back kissing him passionately.  “You are mine and only mine from now until infinity, he said as he used his tongue to trace figure eights on Merlin’s chest and stomach.

Merlin pulled him up kissing him deeply.  “We should sleep now, you need rest for tomorrow.  Dad and Gaius said that the process of removing Willard’s programming is going to be physically and mentally hard on you.  Especially if the bastard planted any fail-safes in your mind that will activate when they try to remove the post-hypnotic suggestions.”

“I have to admit I am scared,” Arthur said softly.

“I’ll be there with you through it all.  I won’t leave your side for even a moment.”

“What if he comes back…that other me?”

“Then we will deal with him.”

“I just don’t want him to hurt you again, Merlin.”

“I don’t think we have to worry about him.  Your mother’s switch seems to be holding, protecting you.”

“But you said it is only a band-aid, that it might not hold.”

“We will deal with it all tomorrow.  You need to sleep, Arthur.”

“You’re going to stay here with me all night, aren’t you?”

“Well, I was planning to sleep on the sofa, but I had a much better offer,” Merlin grinned kissing Arthur.  “I will stay with you.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too…now sleep.”

“Bossy…” Arthur smiled sleepily and closed his eyes.

“Sleep my love, sleep,” Merlin whispered kissing his lips then he laid his head on Arthur’s chest and closed his eyes.

Chapter Text

It was late afternoon by the time Balinor and Gaius were ready.  Arthur was sitting on the sofa fidgeting, his hands were shaking, his eyes darting around the room and looking fearfully at Merlin where he sat on the coffee table.  He smiled reassuringly at Arthur and reached out to touch his knee, his touch immediately calmed him and he took a deep breath.

“Arthur,” Balinor said, “Are you certain you are ready for this?  It is going to be physically and emotionally taxing.  God knows what traps Willard left in your mind.  We should really have someone with medical training on hand.”

“It’s covered,” Arthur nodded, “Lance will be here any minute he is a medic.  Leon and Percival are coming with him for muscle just in case…in case he comes out.  He glanced at Merlin his eyes filled with worry.  “I can’t…I won’t risk him hurting Merlin again.”

There was a knock on the door and Gwaine moved to answer it.  He opened the door to Lance, Percival, and Leon with Morgana just emerging from the elevator.

“Morgana, I told you not to come, it’s not safe,” Arthur said, looking up as she walked in.

“And you, baby brother, can’t tell me what to do,” she smiled and kissed his cheek.  “I am here for moral support, I’ll be quiet as a mouse, you won’t even know I’m here.  She removed her coat, hugged Merlin, then took a seat in the far corner of the living room.

“All right, Arthur,” Lance said as he got to work checking Arthur’s vitals and fitting him with a lightweight device to monitor his heart rate, blood pressure, and breathing.  “This is going to alert us to any extreme fluctuations in your breathing and pulse.”

“Is that really necessary?” Arthur asked.

“Actually, it is,” Balinor said, “Trust me, I have seen what happens when Willard’s mental land mines are tripped, we need to take every precaution.  I have seen perfectly healthy young men go into cardiac arrest and convulsions.  We cannot take any chances.”

“Are you sure you are up for this, Arthur?” Lance asked.

“Yes, I need to be free of Willard once and for all.  Whatever it takes, I cannot live like this anymore.”

“Okay, we are ready,” Lance said then got up, moving to the table with his laptop, connecting it to the device so he could monitor Arthur’s vitals.

“Arthur, I need you to lie back on the sofa,” Gaius said.  “We are going to be very quiet for a moment and just let you focus on breathing.  You must be calm and relaxed.  He turned to Merlin silently motioning for him to move away.

“No, I need Merlin with me, just until we start, please,” Arthur said.

“Very well,” Gaius nodded.

Merlin moved over to the sofa.  He sat on the edge near Arthur’s head and began to run his fingers gently and soothingly through his blonde hair, lightly massaging and caressing his neck and shoulders.  He felt the tension immediately drain away under his touch.  Arthur sighed and closed his eyes.

“Everything is going to be all right,” Merlin said softly, “I love you.  I will be here through it all.”

Arthur nodded focusing on his breathing.  Merlin’s touch grounded him and made him feel safe.  His body relaxed and his breathing leveled off.  He was ready.  Merlin slipped away moving to sit at the table with Lance to watch the laptop screen.

Gaius looked around at the others in the room.  “Very well, we are ready to begin.  With the exception of Merlin, Balinor, and Lance, of course, I’d like to ask the rest of you to please move into the bedroom.  We will call if you are needed.”

“But he’s my brother,” Morgana said, “I want to stay.”

“Morgana,” Arthur said, “It’s all right.”

“Are you sure?”

“I am…I need to relax and I can’t with all you watching.  I appreciate you all, but please just go into my bedroom.”

“Come on,” Percival said softly then took her hand.  Leon and Gwaine followed.

“Are you ready, Arthur?” Gaius asked and Arthur nodded.

“Keep both hands on the wheel,” he chuckled and let out a long slow breath.

“Arthur, I need you to close your eyes for me and take a deep breath.  In through your nose and out through your mouth.  With each breath, you will feel relaxed and safe.  In and out…in and out,” Gaius said, his voice soothing.

Balinor sat still and silent behind him focused on the screen of his own laptop pouring over Ygraine’s research.

“Arthur, I want you to imagine that you’re standing at the top of a beautiful staircase.  There are ten steps leading to the bottom.  I need you to take each step, one at a time, as I count.  With each step, you will feel more and more relaxed, calm, and safe.  Ten, down to nine, now down to eight, down to seven, down to six, down to five, now down to four, down to three…now two…and one.  Arthur, keep concentrating on the sound of my voice.  Keep breathing…relaxed, calm, safe.”

Gaius looked at Balinor who nodded.  “Arthur, are you at the bottom of the staircase?”

“Yes,” Arthur said.

“Good…very good,” Gaius nodded, “Now I want you to look for a doorway, a passageway, what do you see?”

“It’s a gate…” Arthur responded.

“All right what does the gate look like?

“Wrought iron…black…”

“What lies on the other side of that gate?” Gaius asked as he carefully watched Arthur’s body language and the movement of his eyes beneath his closed lids.  “What do you see on the other side, Arthur?”

“The beach,” Arthur said his lips quirking in a slight smile.

“Good, you feel safe there?”

“Yes…”

“I want you to open that gate, Arthur…open it and go through then close it behind you.  Close it securely.  Have you done that, Arthur?”

“Yes…”

“Tell me what you see,” Gaius said.

“Sand, deep sand, rolling waves, I smell the air…it is safe here…”

“Yes, you are safe there, Arthur.  Tell me what you hear.”

“The surf…seabirds…the distant foghorn,” Arthur said.

“I want you to look down, Arthur…look down at your feet and tell me what you see.”

“My feet…they’re bare…wiggling my toes in the sand.

“Good, Arthur,” Gaius smiled, “What else do you see?”

“Starfish, in a tide pool,” Arthur said.

“Can you walk toward the ocean?”

“Yes…”

“You are safe there, Arthur…walk toward the water’s edge.  When you get to the hard wet sand I want you to pick up a stick and write any words that come to mind.  Are you there now, Arthur?”

“Yes, I had to find a stick.  I got one.  What do I write?”

“Just focus for a moment and write any words that come into your mind.  Anything, no matter how absurd.  Just write in the sand.”

“Okay…” Arthur said then shook his head in frustration.

“Arthur, it’s all right…you are safe, my boy.  Just relax and write in the sand then tell me the words you have written.”

Arthur’s breathing became slightly elevated, his facial expression pained.  Merlin looked at the laptop screen.  His pulse was racing.  He motioned to Gaius without speaking and Gaius nodded.

“Arthur, breathe in and out, you are safe there.  Just listen to my voice.”

Arthur calmed a bit and Merlin nodded to Gaius.

“Arthur, are you still on the beach?”

“Yes, storm clouds are rolling in.  The sky is getting darker.  I have to go.”

“It’s all right, Arthur.  There is a purpose for the storm, we just need to figure it out together.  Have you written any words in the sand?”

“Yes…”

“Good…very good.  Can you tell me how many words you wrote?”

“There are eight…eight words.  It’s hard to look at them.”

“It is very important that you look at them, Arthur.  It is imperative that you tell me those words.  Can you do that for me?”

Arthur was silent for a moment, beneath his closed lids, his eyeballs were moving.  His hands clenched into fists. 

“Arthur, calm…don’t worry about the storm.  Just focus on the words.  Are they becoming clearer to you?”

“Yes,” Arthur frowned.

“Can you tell me one of the words?”

“It’s a tree…Sycamore…it says Sycamore Leaves.”  The moment Arthur uttered the phrase his vitals became elevated and his body tensed up his fists clenching again and again.  Gaius realized he had to do something.

“Arthur, listen to me carefully.  You are protected, Merlin is with you here.  Merlin will always keep you safe,” Gaius motioned for Merlin to move closer reminding him silently not to touch Arthur.  “Merlin is here he is going to speak to you now.”

“Merlin?” Arthur asked his voice quivering.

“I’m here, Arthur,” Merlin smiled his hands itching to touch him, “I am always with you, my love.  I will protect you.  Breathe for me, Arthur.  Can you tell me the other words you wrote?  The storm will not harm you, I won’t let it.” Merlin glanced at Gaius as he had an idea.  “Arthur, do you see the lighthouse?  Look for the lighthouse.”

“I see it,” Arthur said, “It’s close.”

“The lighthouse is me.  I am there protecting you, watching over you, keeping you safe.  When you feel afraid look for the lighthouse, Arthur,” Merlin said softly glancing at Gaius who stared at him in amazement as Arthur immediately calmed, his vitals all returning to normal levels.

“You won’t leave me, Merlin.”

“Never, Arthur…I will never leave you.  Can you look at the words now and tell me what they are?”

“Yes.  Sycamore Leaves…Manhattan Skyline…Dream Myself Alive…Driftwood,” Arthur said calmly.

“Arthur, it’s Gaius again, Merlin is still here with me.  Do those words mean anything to you?”

“I don’t know…I think so…possibly,” Arthur frowned.

“Did Willard give you those words?”

“Yes…”

“All right, Arthur, is the storm coming closer?”

“Yes, it is coming ashore, the waves are getting higher, but the lighthouse beam is cutting through the darkness.  I am going to move toward it.”

“Before you do that,” Gaius said, “I need you to look down at the words again.  The surf is wiping them away…they are disappearing.  These words will have no effect on you anymore.  Willard is dead.  He can no longer harm or control you.  Do you understand?”

“Yes,” Arthur said, “The words are going away…only Sycamore Leaves remains, it is just out of reach of the surf.”

“It’s all right, Arthur.  It will go, just watch, and let me know when it is completely gone from the sand.”

“You think you can banish me?  I own you!” Arthur’s whole body arched upward as he let out a cry of pure rage.  Merlin’s blood ran cold.  This wasn’t his Arthur.

“Let him go,” Merlin said his voice hard and deep.

“Merlin, you obnoxious little shit,” Arthur chuckled, “Will I ever be rid of you?”

“The only way you will be rid of me is to leave Arthur alone.”

“I knew I should have killed you when I had the chance!”

“Let me speak to Arthur,” Merlin said.

“Fuck you!”

“Arthur, I know you can still hear me.  I need you to run for the lighthouse.  Do not stop, do not look back.  Run to the lighthouse, Arthur!”

Arthur was on his knees, clawing at the words in the sand until his fingers were scratched and bleeding.  He looked up and the storm had grown worse.  He struggled to his feet as he heard Merlin’s voice...run to the lighthouse.  He looked down the beach the beacon sweeping over the sand, cutting through the darkness.  He started to walk then run, then suddenly he was there in front of him.

“Arthur, you’re not getting rid of me that easy.  I am you…you are me.  We both know there is only one way this ends.”

“You’re not real,” Arthur said stumbling back a few steps his feet in the cold water.

“Oh, I am very real.  I am the part of you that isn’t weak and pathetic, bowing to daddy’s will, letting that bitch sister manipulate you.  The part of you that wants to rip little Merlin’s throat out.”

“You will not hurt Merlin or anyone else I love!” Arthur shouted standing up taller, his fists clenched at his sides.

“Then you’ll have to kill me, Arthur…can you do that?”

“If that is what it takes, yes!”

“Let’s see you try, rich boy.”

Arthur roared and charged him sending them both rolling across the hard-packed wet sand.  He felt the pain in his own body with every punch.  He groaned loudly and slammed his fist into the sand missing the face of his other self by a fraction of an inch as he shifted and squirmed and got to his feet laughing.

“You see, Arthur…it’s not so easy is it?”

Merlin watched in horror as Arthur’s body thrashed around on the sofa, his back arching, his fingers clawing at his skin.

“Arthur,” Merlin said struggling  to keep his voice steady, “Do not fight him…just run…run toward the lighthouse, Arthur.”  Merlin’s eyes flashed bright gold and he stumbled backward as his magic lashed out to protect his Arthur.  “Run, Arthur,” he cried out.  Falling on his backside on the floor he looked up to see that Arthur standing over him and his Arthur was still on the sofa.  “Fuck!” he gasped.

“Yes, you little bastard.  Look what you did,” he grinned yanking Merlin off the floor.  “Now I am going to take you apart and not in the fun way.  I am going to rip you to shreds.”

“I don’t think so,” Merlin grinned.

“Smug little shit, how dare you…”

“You see, there’s something you haven’t quite grasped,” Merlin said.

“And what’s that?”

“I have magic…”

“Right…”

Merlin smiled, his eyes glowing gold, bright and warm.  “I will stop you, I will protect Arthur…I will always protect him!” he said his voice taking on a powerful, resonating tone.  Bad Arthur dropped him but Merlin didn’t fall to the floor.

“What the fuck are you?”

“I am the lighthouse!” Merlin said then lashed out with both hands.  In a flash of white light and powerful magic he never knew he possessed, evil Arthur disintegrated, taken apart on a molecular level leaving nothing behind.

“Holy fuck,” Gwaine’s voice yanked him back into the room.  “Merlin, what the hell did you just do?”

“Arthur!” Merlin said scrambling to his feet, rushing to Arthur’s side.  He was completely still.  He didn’t dare touch him.  “Arthur…can you hear me?”

“His vitals are all near normal,” Lance said shaking his head.

“Arthur, listen to me,” Merlin said calmly, “He’s gone…I need you to go toward the lighthouse.  You will find me there.”

Arthur got up off the sand, his head was pounding.  He stumbled through the incoming surf as it swirled around his feet, but he kept pushing forward.  He had to reach the lighthouse.  Merlin was waiting for him there.

“Come on, Arthur, please,” Merlin said his hands hovering over Arthur’s chest.

“Merlin,” Arthur stuttered and fell as the sand shifted beneath his feet, “Merlin.”

“I’m here, Arthur,” Merlin said tears sliding down his cheeks, “Come back to me.”

Arthur clambered down the beach pushing his way back to his feet, his clothes were wet and covered in sand, and his hands were bruised and bleeding.  He stumbled over pieces of driftwood and reached dry sand.  He ran…ran as the storm raged behind him and suddenly Merlin was there.

“Merlin!”

“There you are,” Merlin gave him that bright wide guileless grin that he loved so much.  Arthur flew into his embrace, wrapping his arms around his neck.  “I’ve got you, Arthur…you’re safe now.”

“Merlin…”

Arthur opened his eyes and immediately jolted upright on the sofa.  Merlin was there.  He stared at him shaking his head.  “Merlin…what did you do?”

“It doesn’t matter now, Arthur, are you all right?” Merlin asked as he splayed his hand wide over Arthur’s chest.  “How do you feel?”

“Like I’ve just been run over by two trains and a couple of herds of elephants with a semi or two thrown in for good measure,” he huffed a laugh.  “That was so not fun.”

Merlin kissed him, smoothing his sweat-damp blonde hair back from his face as he smiled fondly.  “You found me.”

“I will always find you, Merlin,” Arthur said then kissed him back, pressing their foreheads together.

Gaius sat down hard in a chair and Balinor squeezed his shoulder.  The older man looked up at him and smiled gratefully.

Morgana handed Arthur a bottle of water and kissed the top of his head.  “You scared me to death, little brother.”

“Sorry,” Arthur smiled.

Gwaine wrapped a blanket around Arthur’s shoulders to warm his trembling body and Arthur nodded appreciatively.  He felt the warmth and love of his friends and he looked into Merlin’s eyes. 

“It’s over…” he said on a breath.

“Yeah,” Merlin nodded.

“Thank God,” Arthur said then melted into Merlin’s arms, “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Merlin was standing in the doorway of the bedroom watching Arthur sleep when he felt a strong hand on his shoulder.  He turned to see his father standing behind him.  Balinor tilted his head motioning for him to follow.  He took one last look at Arthur and then followed his father into the kitchen.

“You made breakfast,” Merlin grinned, “My father made me breakfast…never thought that would happen in a million years.”

“Yes, well, I have a lot of time to make up for don’t I,” Balinor smiled as he put a plate of french toast and bacon in front of his son.

“I feel like I have been neglecting you…us…it’s…” Merlin said shaking his head.

“It’s all right, I understand.  It’s a lot to take in and with everything going on with Arthur, I get it.”

“Still, I have my father back…my father,” Merlin grinned.

“And I have a son that I am so damn proud of I could burst,” Balinor nodded, “What you did…your magic.  Merlin, that was incredible.  You are far more powerful than I could ever dream of being, but more than that, your loyalty and strength…your deep connection to Arthur.  I am just so happy to be here with you.  I wish your mother were here to see you now.”

“I’ve done things, dad…things I am not proud of…”

“You did what you had to do to survive.  I don’t need to know the details to understand that you have had a very difficult hand dealt to you and you played it the best you could.  I have done things I am not proud of either, but what matters is what we do now…I am going to be here for you.  I will be the best damn father I can be to you, Merlin.  I love you, my son.”

Merlin slid off the barstool and moved around to embrace his father.  “I love you too, dad,” he choked and chuckled softly.  “I still can’t believe I have you back.”

Balinor laughed wiping the tears from his eyes.  “Now eat before it gets cold,” he nodded toward the plate.  “You’re far too skinny.”

Merlin returned to his seat and dug in grinning at his father the whole time.

“Sorry, I don’t want to interrupt this father-son bonding,” Arthur said as he came into the kitchen and kissed Merlin, “Is there some of that for me, I am starving.”

“Certainly,” Balinor smiled, “How are you feeling, Arthur?”

“Fantastic actually,” Arthur grinned then stole a piece of bacon from Merlin’s plate and he didn’t even complain.  “I stole your bacon, Merlin…”

“You’re allowed,” Merlin grinned and kissed him, “Only you.”

“I feel so special,” Arthur said kissing him back.

“You two are really something,” Balinor chuckled.

“Sorry, Balinor…”

“Don’t apologize, Arthur…I mean that in the best of ways.  Hunith was the love of my life.  My perfect match in every way.  I see that in the two of you as well.  You are two sides of the same coin as my father used to say.”

“I like that,” Merlin said meeting Arthur’s gaze.

“How long have you two been together?” Balinor asked.

“Um, let me think…a week…or will be a week tonight,” Arthur laughed and the older man raised an eyebrow in surprise.

“You’re joking…”

“No, he’s really not,” Merlin smirked.

Balinor shook his head, “Could have fooled me.  One would think you two have been together months at the very least.”

“Yes, well, we both believe we loved each other before, in another life,” Merlin said.

“That makes sense,” Balinor smiled.

“It does?” Arthur asked.

“Let’s just say I have an open mind when it comes to such things.  Here you go, Arthur, enjoy,” Balinor said setting a full plate on the bar and Arthur sat down next to Merlin immediately digging in.

“Where is Gaius?” Arthur asked.

“He left this morning to return to Maine.  Gwaine drove him to the hospital,” Merlin said.  “He didn’t want to wake you to say goodbye.”

“I should go too,” Balinor said, “You two don’t need this old curmudgeon hanging around.”

“Balinor, you are more than welcome to stay here as long as you want,” Arthur said, “It’s important that you and Merlin have time together.”

“Believe me I am planning on spending a lot of time with my son, but I have my own place, a loft here in the city.  I kept it in case I ever returned.  I’d just bought it when everything went to hell.”

“You have a loft apartment in New York?” Merlin asked.

“Yes, and if I had known about you, Merlin, you would have never had to be homeless.”

Arthur’s phone went off, he pulled it out of his pocket to look at the screen and froze, his face paled.  Merlin noticed and took the phone from him to see what had caused the reaction.

“What the hell?” Merlin asked as he read the text message.

Manhattan Skyline

A moment later an email came in and he opened it.  “Holy fuck…”

The time has come, my children.  You are my legacy, you know what to do.  I love you, make me proud.  Blood in the streets.

Your loving father,

Douglas Willard

“It’s not over,” Arthur said, his voice hollow, “It’s not fucking over.”

“Arthur, are you…” Merlin asked.

“No, I’m not, I’m fine just…what does this mean?”

“Son of a bitch,” Balinor dropped his head for a moment then slammed his fist on the countertop, “Willard did it…he fucking did it.”

“What?” Merlin asked.

“Willard, he used to talk about mass mind control.  He said he found the key, that he could program multiple people and trigger them all at one time setting them loose on unwitting citizens of cities and eventually entire countries.  He said he could bring down governments with a single command.”

“But he is dead,” Arthur said.

Merlin swore under his breath.  “Dead man’s switch…”

“What?”

“Dead man’s switch, Willard must have set this up.  Automated texts and emails would go out if he failed to enter some kind of code.  He’s dead so the code was never entered and these were sent out.”

“Balinor, how do we stop this?” Arthur asked.

“I have no idea,” Balinor frowned.

Merlin shook his head, “Maybe nothing will happen.”

“You really believe that?” Arthur asked.

“No…I don’t.”

“We have to do something.  We can’t just sit around waiting for the bodies to start dropping?”  Arthur took his phone back and dialed Morgana’s number.  “Morgana, it’s not over.  Willard had a contingency plan…mass mind control.  Maybe hundreds of people.”

“Arthur, it’s already started,” Morgana said, obvious fear in her voice.

“What’s happened?”

“Shawn McKenna, his wife just called, apparently he snapped while she was visiting him.  He was looking at a video of their kids on her phone and just lost it, went nuts.  He knocked her across the room, killed two other people by snapping their necks, and dove out a third-floor window.  She said he kept repeating the phrase ‘Dream Myself Alive’ and then jumped.  He died, with a broken neck from the fall.  Those words…”

“Yes, Arthur said pinching the bridge of his nose.  Have you told Gwaine?”

“Not yet,” Morgana said.  “What are we going to do?”

“No fucking clue,” Arthur said and ended the call.

“What happened?” Merlin asked.

“Shawn McKenna, the soldier Gwaine talked to about Willard…he’s dead.  He went crazy, hit his wife, and killed two people then did a swan dive from a third-floor window all while repeating the phrase ‘Dream Myself Alive’.”

“Shawn McKenna…he must have been one of Willard’s team after my time.  Like I said, the military let him continue his work despite everything I told them.  Uther tried to shut him down, but he had people in powerful places.  People who wanted to use his skills for nefarious means.”

“You were in contact with my father after?”

“We kept in touch,” Balinor nodded, “I wanted to come back when Ygraine…when your mother died.  But he told me it wasn’t safe that I needed to stay in Idaho.”

“I need to talk to my father,” Arthur said, “He’s being released from the hospital this afternoon.  He has to know something that can help us stop this.”

“If it’s all right, I’d like to come along,” Balinor said, “It will be good to see my old friend.”

“Of course,” Arthur nodded.

“We should bring all of Ygraine’s research,” Merlin said, “Maybe Uther can help.”

“Good idea,” Balinor said, “There are personal notes and such in her files that make no sense.  Maybe he can shed some light on them.”

“All right, I’ll get dressed then we’ll go,” Arthur said.  He paused long enough to put an arm around Merlin’s neck and kiss his forehead then headed for his bedroom.

Chapter Text

Morgana arrived just ahead of them, she was waiting in the open doorway.  Arthur embraced her, kissing her cheek.

“How is he?” Arthur asked.

“Oh, you know father.  He’s already fired the nurse and refusing to stay in bed.  He’s in the parlor.”

“Sounds about right,” Arthur grinned then walked into the house.

“Merlin,” Morgana beamed kissing his cheek as he hugged her.  “I see you brought your handsome father along,” she winked and stepped aside for them to enter.

“Morgana, you are as lovely as ever,” Balinor smiled, “Do you still have that stuffed unicorn I gave you for your third birthday?”

“Actually, I do, that was you?” she asked in surprise.

“Yeah, I looked a little different back then,” he said.

Uther looked up as Arthur walked into the parlor.  His smile transformed into a frown as he saw his son’s obvious uncertainty and shame.  He pushed himself to his feet and opened his arms.

“Arthur, come, my son,” he said.

“Father, I’m so sorry…” Arthur said as he melted into Uther’s embrace, tears shining in his eyes.  “God, I am so sorry.”

“Arthur, it was not your fault.  I want you to stop feeling guilty.  If anyone is to blame it is me.  I should have done more to stop that bastard Willard when I had the chance.  I am sorry, my son.”

Arthur huffed a laugh and Uther took a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe the tears from his own cheeks.  They hugged again and Uther turned to look at Merlin as he walked into the parlor.

“You brought Merlin I see,” Uther smiled brightly.

“Not just Merlin,” Arthur said as Balinor entered the room behind his son and Uther’s face registered his shock.

“Uther, I believe you know my father, Balinor Emrys,” Merlin smiled.

“Balinor!” Uther gasped, “You’re back.”

“Uther,” Balinor said as he hugged his old friend and they slapped each other on the back.  “Good to see you.”

“You too,” Uther grinned, “Wait…Merlin is your son?”

“Yes,” Balinor smiled proudly.

“Hunith…Hunith was your mother?” Uther asked Merlin and he nodded.  “Our sons are in love you know,” Uther chuckled.

“Yes, so it would seem.”

“Morgana, tell the cooks to prepare something special for dinner.  We are going to celebrate,” Uther beamed embracing Balinor again.

“You’re supposed to be resting, not celebrating,” Morgana shook her head.

“Nonsense, Balinor has returned and Merlin is his son,” Uther chuckled.

“Actually, father,” Arthur said, “Something has happened and we need your help to figure out how to stop it.  Douglas Willard’s reign of terror is not over.”

“He’s dead,” Uther shook his head.

“Yes, but it seems he had a plan for that as well.”

“A dead man’s switch,” Merlin said, “Willard had a program set up to release texts and emails to his victims in the event of his death.  Triggers that have set off God knows how many ticking time bombs on two legs.  Shawn McKenna is just the beginning.”

Uther nodded slowly, “I remember McKenna, he was a good soldier.  I always wondered what happened to him after that unfortunate incident.”

“He’s been locked up in a psych ward which is where I would be right now if not for Merlin, Gaius, and Balinor.  I need to stop this, father.  I need you to tell us everything you know about Douglas Willard and I need you to look at mom’s research notes and tell us if any of it makes sense to you,” Arthur said.

“I don’t know how much help I’ll be, but I will do whatever I can.”

“I’ll go bring in the boxes,” Merlin said and headed back out to the car.

Two hours later they were no closer to figuring out the notes.  There were random words…poetic lines and rough sketches of things that made no sense.  Uther picked up a notebook and started thumbing through it.  He stopped on a page reading it over and over again.

“This might be something,” he said leaning forward so Arthur could look at it.  “These words, I recognize them from somewhere…a poem maybe.  Your mother made notes in the margins about hypnotic suggestions.”

Arthur took the notebook and began to read the words out loud.  “There’s a place I like to hide, a doorway that I run to in the night, relax child, you were there, only didn’t realize, and you were scared, it’s a place where you will learn to face your fears, retrace the years, and ride the whims of your mind, Commanding in another world.  Suddenly you’ll hear and see, this magic new dimension…” his voice drifted off as he shook his head.  “It sounds familiar…I can’t place it though.”

Merlin was staring at the floor moving his hand in the air just slightly as his face lightened and he smiled.  “I will be watching over you, I am gonna help you see it through, I will protect you in the night, I am smiling next to you, In silent lucidity,” he said looking at Arthur as they both figured it out simultaneously.  “Silent Lucidity by Queensryche,” they both exclaimed at the same time.

“Project Lucidity,” Morgana said from where she sat on the arm of the sofa.

“I remember,” Uther said, “Your mother would play that song over and over again.  Used to drive me mad, but I never said anything because she loved it.  She said it was hypnotic.”

Merlin quickly pulled up the song on his phone and played it as they listened.  He then sent the song to Gaius with instructions to listen and call him back.  The phone rang ten minutes later.

“Gaius?”

“Merlin, the lyrics…I think Ygraine discovered a pattern in the words and the melody and rhythm.  There is an obvious reference to dreams or hypnotic states.  It could be some sort of key, but I am not sure to what,” Gaius said.

“The notes she made in the margins,” Arthur said.

“Merlin sent me a photo, they definitely seem to be hypnosis related.  Like she was trying to determine the suggestions that could be counteracted by the words.  I’m sorry I am not more help, Ygraine was obviously a genius.  Her brilliance boggles my mind that is for sure.”

“Thank you, Gaius,” Merlin nodded.

“You’re welcome, my boy,” he said, “I am here if you need me.”

“You left before I had a chance to thank you, Gaius,” Arthur said.

“No thanks needed, Arthur…I was just glad I could help.”

“I owe you a big one, talk to you soon.”

Merlin ended the call.  He and Arthur stared at each other for a moment.

“Dinner is ready,” Morgana said, “Let’s all take a break and come back to it after dessert.”

“Yes, that sounds good,” Uther said then got to his feet.  He reached out to put a hand on Balinor’s shoulder and they walked to the dining room together talking about old times and laughing over old jokes that only they understood.

“It’s good to see him happy,” Arthur said.

“Are you all right?” Merlin asked as he slid his arms around Arthur’s waist.

“Yeah,” Arthur nodded, “I think I am.”

“I know this is hard on you.”

“I just feel so…I tried to kill my father,” Arthur’s voice broke.

“It wasn’t you,” Merlin said kissing him tenderly, “Forgive yourself and let it go.  If you keep letting it eat away at you then Willard wins.”

“You’re right,” he nodded.

“Come on, let’s go eat.”

They had no sooner finished dessert when Arthur’s phone rang.

“It’s Gwaine,” he said as he swiped the screen, “Gwaine, what’s going on?”

“Arthur, are you guys near a TV?”

“There’s one in the study, why?”

“You need to turn on the news right the fuck now,” Gwaine said, “All hell is breaking loose all over the damn city.”

Arthur ran down the hall to the study and turned on the big screen TV.  Merlin and Morgana were right behind him, followed by their fathers.  Finding the news channel, he turned up the volume.  Video footage of people fighting in the streets, stores being looted, beatings…

“Dear god in heaven,” Uther gasped as he sat down in a leather chair.

“Gwaine, get everyone together and come to Pendragon Manor,” Arthur said, “They will be safe here until we can figure out what to do.”

“We were actually heading to your place, we will divert that way instead.  The streets are a mess, Arthur.  I’m hearing there are at least fifty dead and hundreds wounded.  This is Willard, isn’t it?  Shawn's wife called me…told me what happened.”

“Yeah it's Willard…just get here safe…hurry,” Arthur said then ended the call.

“What are we going to do?” Merlin asked his eyes dark with fear and worry.

“I have no fucking clue.”

“Arthur,” Morgana said tears in her eyes as she looked from the tv screen to her brother.  “Percival?”

“They are on their way here.  He is fine.”

“We need to get to the precinct,” Uther said.

“We are staying put,” Arthur said.  “You are in no shape physically.  No, we can handle things from here.  We need a plan and fast.”

“Arthur the song,” Merlin said, “If Ygraine was working on counteracting Willard’s programming, maybe the song, be it the music or the lyrics whatever.  If she was right, the song could be the key to stopping this.”

“How do we get it out there for everyone to hear it?” Arthur asked.

Morgana stood up and went to grab her purse.  She returned a few minutes later with her phone talking to someone in her do-what-I-say-and-don’t-question-me tone.  By the time she hung up, she was smiling.

“What did you just do, Morgana,” Uther asked.

“I called in a hell of a lot of favors, is what I did.  People who can do what we need them to do.  She flipped the channel until she found a live shot of Times Square.  Just watch…”

Gwaine and the others arrived twenty minutes later joining them around the tv.

“It’s bad out there, Arthur,” Leon said.

Gwen curled up in a chair with Morgana who embraced her tightly.  She was terrified and shaking after the things she had seen on the way there.  Bodies lying in the streets, overturned cars, fires everywhere, people breaking store windows and looting, even a man on fire in the middle of Columbus Circle.  It was like Armageddon in New York City.  And she was terrified because Elyan was trapped downtown somewhere.

“Willard really did this?” Lance asked.

“Yeah,” Arthur nodded, “And the sick part is, these people…all he needed was to control a hundred to ultimately control thousands by the gang mentality.  Light the match and the fire spreads like mad.”

“Look,” Morgana said pointing to the tv as all the screens in Times Square switched to the same scene a mesmerizing starlit sky and flashes of aurora borealis and the song began to play at top volume.  “Yes!” she cheered, “All the radio stations are playing it as well, including satellite.  “I am a genius!”

Arthur chuckled, “Yes, you are.  Now let’s just hope we are right.”

The song was looped playing over and over again. 

Hush now don't cry

Wipe away the teardrop from your eye

You're lying safe in bed

It was all a bad dream

Spinning in your head

Your mind tricked you to feel the pain

Of someone close to you leaving the game of life

So here it is, another chance

Wide awake you face the day

Your dream is over

Or has it just begun?

  There's a place I like to hide

A doorway that I run to in the night

Relax child, you were there

But only didn't realize it and you were scared

It's a place where you will learn

To face your fears, retrace the years

And ride the whims of your mind

Commanding in another world

Suddenly, you hear and see

This magic new dimension

  I will be watching over you

I am gonna help you see it through

I will protect you in the night

I am smiling next to you, in silent lucidity

Visualize your dream

Record it in the present tense

Put it into a permanent form

If you persist in your efforts

You can achieve dream control

Dream control

How's that then, better?

Dream control

Dream control (hug me)

Dream control

Hug me  

If you open your mind for me

You won't rely on open eyes to see

The walls you built within

Come tumbling down, and a new world will begin

Living twice at once you learn

You're safe from pain in the dream domain

A soul set free to fly

A round trip journey in your head

Master of illusion, can you realize

Your dream's alive, you can be the guide but

I will be watching over you

I am gonna help you see it through

I will protect you in the night

I am smiling next to you…

One by one people on the streets laid down whatever weapons they were using.  They began to drop to their knees, some looking around in confusion, unsure how they came to be where they were.  Police officers moved in, arresting them as the song continued to play. 

“It worked,” Arthur said shaking his head in utter disbelief, “It actually worked!”  He turned and gathered Merlin into his arms hugging him tightly.  “My mother…”

Merlin nodded, “She saved us…she saved the whole damn city.”

Uther was fighting tears as he lowered his head.  Balinor put his hand on his friend's shoulder giving him a reassuring nod.

Morgana jumped up and threw her arms around Percival pulling him down for a kiss.  “Will you marry me?” she asked and he looked at her in surprise then nodded.

“Absolutely,” he grinned and kissed her back as everyone in the room cheered.

Arthur took Merlin’s hand leading him through the french doors onto the patio.  He pulled him into his arms and kissed him as they stood in the darkness.  They looked up as huge snowflakes began to fall and laughed.

“It’s over…” Merlin said with a slight nod and Arthur smiled.

“Merlin, about that date…”

“Yeah?”

“I want to take you somewhere…somewhere tropical,” Arthur grinned.

“You mean someplace we don’t have to wear so many clothes?” Merlin asked.

“Yes, definitely…”

“You’re serious?” Merlin asked.

“Oh yes,” Arthur smiled kissing him.

“When do we leave?”

“As soon as possible…how does tomorrow sound?”

“Tomorrow?” Merlin asked with a raised eyebrow, “The airports are a mess.”

“Private plane, private airfield…”

“You’re kidding.

“Nope, the perks of dating a Pendragon…we can go anywhere you want.”

“Tomorrow?” Merlin asked.

“Tomorrow,” Arthur smiled expectantly.

“Where will we go?”

“Hawaii is nice this time of year.”

“Then Hawaii it is,” Merlin kissed him deep and hard.

“Arthur, I don’t need any more sunscreen,” Merlin whined as Arthur started applying more to his back and legs. 

“As pale as you are, I am not going to have you burnt to a crisp, Merlin.”

Merlin rolled over and pulled Arthur down on top of him.  “Then perhaps you should use your body to block the sun,” he grinned cheekily.

“Mmm perhaps you are right,” Arthur said kissing him.

“You, however, look like a golden sun god,” Merlin wagged his eyebrows.

“Maybe we both need a little less sun.  We could retreat to our bedroom.”

“Oh yes, I agree.”

Arthur got up pulling Merlin to his feet.  They walked through the open glass doors and into their bedroom falling on the huge soft king bed.  He stripped off his white trousers and pulled Merlin’s shorts off then pinned him down to the mattress and swallowed his already hard cock making him moan and writhe on the bed.

“Arthur…God, yesss,” Merlin gasped.

“Let me hear you, Merlin,” Arthur said then licked the length of him. 

“Fuck, Arthur…your mouth,” Merlin whimpered.

“My turn to ride you, my lover,” Arthur said his voice low and rough.

“Please, yes…Arthur…I need you.”

“You’re beautiful, Merlin, I love you.”

Merlin dragged Arthur up kissing him hard.  His eyes flashed gold and Arthur moaned as his fingers gently worked him open.  He let out a low growl as their cocks rubbed against each other. 

“Arthur, can’t wait…now, please,” Merlin whispered huskily.

“So impatient, Merlin,” Arthur grinned licking over and around his erect nipples and Merlin whimpered loudly arching his back.  “You want me now?”

“Yes…yes, please now…”

Arthur kissed him as he moved, straddling his hips reaching back to guide Merlin’s cock into him.  He sucked in a breath and sat up slowly, impaling himself fully, the muscles in his thighs quivering and he moaned filthily as he rode Merlin hard and fast.  Closing his eyes, he braced one hand on Merlin’s thigh.

“Arthur…fuck you are so hot…”

“Merlin…” Arthur panted.

“I love you,” Merlin gasped as he thrust up into him.  The movement threw Arthur off balance and he fell forward laughing.  “So graceful.”

“Your fault.”

Merlin grinned kissing him deeply.  “I am never going to get enough of you.”

“Then perhaps we should make this permanent,” Arthur smiled.

“Are you proposing to me in the middle of sex?”

“No, unless of course, you’re going to say yes.”

Merlin laughed and pulled out of Arthur then flipped him over onto his back kissing him.  Arthur yelped as he pinned him down and kissed him.

“Now ask me,” Merlin said.

“Merlin, will you marry me?”

“Why do you want to marry me?” Merlin asked nuzzling Arthur’s neck kissing and licking his collarbone and jawline.

“Merlin…you’re my soulmate, you’re my heart, I never want to lose you.  Please say yes and fuck me,” Arthur moaned.

“Yes,” Merlin grinned then pushed Arthur’s thighs apart driving into him deep and hard.  “Yes, a million times, yes,” he panted then let out a low growl as he came, spilling his seed deep within his fiancé.  “God, Arthur…” he gasped and Arthur followed him into the abyss, coming with a breathless laugh.  They wrapped around each other, pulses racing and chests heaving, skin glistening with sweat.

“Merlin…” Arthur said nuzzling into the crook of his neck.

“Yes, Arthur?”

“After we get married, I want us to look for a new home.”

“But you love your apartment.”

“I want a place we choose together.”

“I will be happy wherever we live as long as it has four walls and a roof.  And a bed…a really big, soft bed with lots of pillows.  And lots of bacon…definitely bacon.”

Arthur chuckled, “I think that can be arranged.”

“Can we get a place with a big deep bathtub?  I haven’t had one since I was a kid.”

“Whatever you want, Merlin,” Arthur said kissing him.

“Gwaine is right, I’ve gotten spoiled.”

“That’s okay, I love spoiling you.”

“I haven’t anything to offer you, Arthur,” Merlin said softly, his fingers brushing over Arthur’s chest.

Arthur looked at him and shook his head, “Merlin, you are everything to me.  I could lose all I have and as long as you are beside me, I will be happy.”

“Really?”

“Absolutely.”

“All that I am is for you, Arthur.”

“And all that I am is for you, Merlin.”

Arthur couldn’t sleep on the flight back to New York, he sat in the seat playing a mindless game on his phone.  He looked over at Merlin, curled up in his seat with a blanket pulled over his head, and smiled.  He looked so peaceful and relaxed and Arthur felt the urge to wake him up.

“Merlin,” Arthur said softly, “Merlin, wake up.”

“Mmm, no…” Merlin mumbled.

“Merlin, I’m bored.”

“Don’t care…sleeping…”

“Come on, Merlin, it’s a long flight,” Arthur grinned.

“Go to sleep…”

“Can’t, I am wide awake.”

“Not my fault,” Merlin grimaced switching positions as he pulled the blanket away from his face.  “I could use magic to make you sleep,” he glared at Arthur.

“Mmm, not exactly what I had in mind,” Arthur gave him a crooked grin and wagged an eyebrow at him.

Merlin’s eyes narrowed in feigned annoyance, but the brightness in them and the quirk of a smile gave away his interest in what Arthur had in mind.  He tossed the blanket aside and got up moving to straddle his lap.

“It’s a good thing you’re irresistible,” he said huskily as he kissed Arthur.

“You were just too tempting, Merlin.  Lying there all innocent and beautiful.”

Merlin tugged Arthur’s shirt from his jeans and pulled it off over his head.  Arthur unfastened Merlin’s belt and then his jeans as Merlin pulled his own shirt off.  They kissed hard and deep their tongues dueling.

“The advantages to flying in a private plane,” Merlin grinned.

“Oh yes, definitely,” Arthur wrapped his hand around Merlin’s already rock-hard cock stroking him slowly flicking his thumb over the swollen head making Merlin’s breathing stutter.  “You are utterly intoxicating.”

“Arthur…fuck,” Merlin gasped and moaned filthily as Arthur wrapped his mouth around him and swallowed him down.  “Good hell, yes,” he panted, thrusting his hips slightly.  Arthur groaned and then yanked Merlin’s jeans down exposing his perfect arse.  He worked his middle finger into his entrance working him open while Merlin let out a whimper of pleasure.  “Arthur…please, more.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said breathlessly as he pulled off his cock.

“I’m so close,” Merlin moaned, “Don’t stop, please.”

Arthur freed his own cock shifting his position until they were aligned then gripped them both together.  They moved, thrusting against each other until they both came spilling between their hard stomachs.

“Holy…” Arthur said breathing hard as Merlin clung to him through the waves of pleasure coursing through his body.  “Are you all right,” he asked huffing a laugh.

“Can’t move,” Merlin said.

“Then don’t.”

“Okay.”

“Merlin…”

“Hmm?”

Arthur kissed the top of his head, “Are you happy?”

Merlin lifted his head meeting his questioning gaze.  “You have to ask?” he smiled.

“No—yes, I mean, I just want to make sure…”

“Arthur, I am so damn happy…happier than I have ever been in my life.  Are you?”

“Absolutely,” Arthur grinned tugging gently at Merlin’s dark curls, “I love you.”

“Love you too, Arthur.”

“We are going to be together.”

“Is something bothering you?”

“No, sorry…just thinking about everything we have been through.  I just never want you to be sad or afraid again.  I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Arthur, you aren’t going to hurt me.”

“I can’t lose you…”

“I’m not going anywhere.”

“Okay, good,” Arthur smiled and Merlin kissed him.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yeah, I am…sorry, just overthinking things again.”

“Maybe you should talk to Gwen, she offered to help you to find a way to deal with what you went through.  It’s going to take time, but I am going to be by your side no matter what.”

“I admit, I don’t want to go back,” Arthur said softly.  “Being away I could put it all behind me…now…”

“We could always turn the plane around,” Merlin grinned and Arthur laughed.

“We could, but I have to get my head on straight so I can get back to work.  I have a job to do, people to protect.”

“I was thinking maybe I could look for a job too, finally find a purpose.  Find a way to contribute to our lives…we are going to get married.”

Arthur shook his head, “You don’t have to work, but if it’s important to you I will support whatever you choose to do.  I just want you to be happy and to never want for anything ever again.  I wouldn’t even object if you want to try modeling,” he winked and Merlin rolled his eyes.

“Absolutely not,” he groaned.

“Oh, come on it would be hot…we could hang your photos all over the walls of our new house.  Maybe a few nudes,” Arthur wagged his eyebrows.

“No,” Merlin said poking him in the ribs.

“Ouch, okay, okay, sorry,” Arthur laughed.

Reaching for the blanket Merlin curled up against Arthur’s side covering them both, then pressed his lips to his neck and chest.

“Get some sleep, yeah?” he said.

“Okay,” Arthur smiled and closed his eyes.

Chapter Text

Gwaine was waiting when they landed, leaning up against the front fender of Arthur’s car, arms crossed, his head tilted with a crooked grin on his face.  Merlin knew that look and eyed him warily as they got off the plane.

“You’re up to something,” Merlin said as he embraced his friend.

“Who me?” Gwaine asked shaking his head, “Never.  I am merely here to drive you home and to absolutely not tell you that your apartment may or may not be full of friends and family waiting to welcome you two home and celebrate.”

Arthur smirked, “I will absolutely not tell them that you spilled the beans.”

“I hate surprises,” Gwaine chuckled, “Figured you might feel the same.”

“You would be right.”

“Did you two have a good time?”

“The best,” Merlin grinned.

“I half thought you might make a little detour to Las Vegas to get married.”

“The thought crossed our minds, but if we did my sister would probably separate me from my appendages and I happen to be rather fond of said appendages.”

Merlin nodded, “And there is no way I am getting married without my father there, now that I have him back.”

“Exactly,” Arthur kissed him then they got into the car.

“Well, I am very happy for you two,” Gwaine smiled.

“Did we miss anything?” Merlin asked.

“No, all is quiet.  The city is back to normal.”

“Thank god for that,” Arthur nodded.

“Gwen is working with Shawn’s wife trying to help her through her grief and the trauma.  I’m keeping in contact with her as well.  The poor woman is a wreck after what happened.  Their children are living with Shawn’s parents for a while.”

“I’m glad she has you and Gwen,” Arthur said.

“I’m proud of you, my friend,” Merlin said leaning forward to tug Gwaine’s shoulder-length hair.  “You’re really doing great.”

“I owe it all to you two.”

Arthur shook his head, “No, you did it on your own.  I only gave you the tools.”

“Still, thank you,” Gwaine smiled.

They arrived at the apartment and Arthur pretended to be surprised when he opened the door.  Morgana didn’t buy it of course.  She knew the second she embraced her little brother.

“Gwaine you told them!”

“What?  No, of course not,” he gave her a tight-lipped smile and she punched him in the shoulder.

Merlin hugged her and kissed her cheek, “Thank you, Morgana.”

“You two didn’t get married in Vegas, did you?”

“And deny you the opportunity of planning our wedding…never.”

“You’re such a good brother.”

“I know,” Arthur grinned then noticed his father, standing with Balinor, watching.  He slipped away from his sister.  “You look good, father,” he smiled and Uther shook his hand.

“I am feeling much better.  You and Merlin look happy and relaxed.”

Merlin walked over to stand between his father and Arthur.  “Very…Hawaii was amazing.  I’ve never been anywhere but New York.”

“Arthur, you should take Merlin to our London estate, or the castle in Ireland,” Uther said, “He would enjoy that.”

“You have a freaking castle?” Merlin asked looking at Arthur, “In Ireland?”

“A small one,” Arthur shrugged.

“Merlin,” Balinor said, “I have spoken to my lawyers.  We need to meet with them when you have some free time.”

“Lawyers?” Merlin asked confused, “Plural?”

Uther chuckled taking a drink of his whiskey and Balinor shook his head.

“You’re my son, I need to make sure everything is in order.  While I know Arthur will always take care of you, I need to know that my boy will never want for anything.  I am arranging for a trust fund that you will have access to immediately.”

“I don’t understand.”

“What Balinor is trying to say is you are to be the sole heir of his estate…his legacy.”

“Oh,” Merlin said, still confused.

Arthur looked at Balinor with a raised eyebrow.  “What, you and my father have been in business together all along?”

“Not exactly,” Balinor said, “We can discuss it in detail later.”

“Wait until you see his collection,” Uther smirked, “One day it will all be yours.”

“Collection of what?” Merlin asked.

“Magical artifacts of course,” Uther smiled.  “You know he has the actual sword of King Arthur…yes, the real Excalibur.”

“You’re kidding?” Arthur asked.

“Deadly serious,” Uther said, “I’ve seen it with my own eyes, held it in my hands.”

Balinor nodded, “I have been collecting for decades.  Traveled all over the world.  Merlin, it will fall on your shoulders to protect them.  To keep them out of the wrong hands.”

“You’re serious?” Merlin asked.

“Deadly…” Balinor said.

“Where is this collection?” Arthur asked.

“In a secure room beneath Pendragon Manor,” Uther said, “It fell to me to protect it after Balinor was forced to leave.”

“You two are something else,” Arthur laughed shaking his head.

“It was our responsibility…our legacy…it is only fitting that you two take up the mantle when we are gone,” Balinor said.

“Why?” Merlin asked.

“Because you, are direct descendants of King Arthur and Merlin…it is our destiny to keep the balance.  To make sure that magic continues to be while keeping it out of the hands of people who would use it for evil.”

“People like Willard?” Arthur asked.

“Yes,” Uther nodded, “Willard was after the artifacts.  He knew that if he could get his hands on them, their power combined with his skills in mind control and hypnosis...”

“He would have taken over the whole Goddamn world,” Arthur said

“And now you understand the importance of this responsibility,” Balinor nodded.

“Holy fuck,” Merlin said as he sat down hard on the sofa.  Balinor sat on the coffee table in front of him.

“Merlin, there’s something else.”

Merlin shook his head, “Let me have it…

“We are Dragonlords, son…it’s an ancient gift passed down from father to son.  While there are no longer living dragons, there is a power that you still need to embrace.  Dragons may not exist, but the magic does.  It’s a special magic that only Dragonlords possess and can wield.”

“And you will show me?”

“Yes,” Balinor smiled, “And you will inherit everything once I am gone.  You, my boy, you were homeless all those years, but now you will never have to worry about money again.”

Merlin looked up meeting Arthur’s gaze which was as confused as his own.

“I know it is a lot to take in, Merlin,” Balinor said.

“So, when you left my mother…”

Balinor nodded, “I left her, yes, and I had no idea that she had you.  I loved Hunith to the depth of my soul, Merlin.  If I had known…I would have been there for you.  I regret now what I did.  I was a coward choosing to run instead of fight.”

“In all fairness,” Uther said, “It was I who pushed him to leave.  I had received information that Willard was intent on killing your father.  We knew he was dangerous and had powerful connections and unlimited funding.  He had hired guns all over the city all with shoot-to-kill orders.  I could not let him be killed.  I had to make sure he was safe.  I made a promise to Ygraine that I would protect him and Hunith.  I tried to arrange for a monthly allowance to take care of Hunith but she put a stop to it as soon as she found out what I was doing.”

“My mother refused your money?” Merlin asked.

“You know how proud she was, Merlin,” Balinor frowned.

“I lost track of her after Ygraine died.  I had no idea that she had you, Merlin.  I had no idea that she’d died of cancer,” Uther said lowering his head.

“This is just too much,” Merlin said his voice hard.  “If you’ll excuse me, I need some air,” he got up and walked outside onto the terrace.  He wrapped his arms across his chest tears sliding down his face.

Arthur started to follow, but Uther stopped him.  Balinor was already on his feet and following after his son.  He walked out onto the terrace and moved to stand next to him.

“Merlin, I’m sorry.”

Merlin shook his head in frustration.  “It’s not fair…”

“I know, it isn’t…God knows if I could go back and change things I would.  I would do anything to make things easier on Hunith…on you.  I would have done anything to save her life, Merlin.  I made mistakes that I cannot take back, but I love you.  I love you and I am so damn proud to call you my son.  I failed your mother and I failed you.  I’m sorry.”

Merlin lowered his head for a moment then let out a breath.  “It’s not…it wasn’t your fault.  I know that, but all this is just too much…”

“I know,” Balinor nodded.

“I’ve grown up burying my magic, keeping it at bay…hiding who I am and now I find out that I am literally a legacy.  That I have this unfathomable responsibility as a sorcerer and a Dragonlord…and I barely know what that means.  My mother was proud and it doesn’t surprise me that she refused help from Uther.  It just makes me so angry that she put her pride before her own health.  She could have gone to Uther for help with the cancer treatments…she might have survived and I would have never ended up on the streets…I would have never been…” his voice trailed off and Balinor looked at him intently.  “All my life I wondered who the fuck I pissed off…why was I cursed to lose everyone I loved?  I am so damn scared of losing Arthur…I can’t lose him.”

“You and Arthur are going to be fine.  It is destiny.”

“You can’t know that,” Merlin said angrily.

“And you can’t go through your life consumed by fear of losing him.  Do not make the same mistakes that Uther and I did.  We were so focused on protecting the women we loved that in the end we not only lost them, but we lost so much more.  If I had stayed or if I had taken Hunith with me, we would have been together.  I should not have walked away from her.  I will regret that choice until my dying breath.  I cannot make up for it, but I can keep you from going down the same path.”

“So, when you said you had an open mind when we told you that we believed we loved each other before…” Merlin said.

Balinor smiled, “Yes?”

“King Arthur and Merlin…”

“They loved each other deeply.  They loved each other on a level no one, not even they, could ever truly understand.”

“But King Arthur was married to Queen Guinevere…”

“Yes,” Balinor nodded, “In those days it was not accepted.  Not just because they were both men, but because of station.  You and Arthur have the chance to be together in a way they never could.”

“Thank the gods for that,” Merlin smiled and Balinor chuckled then put his arm around his son drawing him into a warm embrace.

“I love you, my son.”

“I love you too, dad.”

“Now, come on let’s go inside.”

Merlin nodded and walked through the door and into Arthur’s waiting arms.

“Are you all right,” Arthur asked.

“I am damn glad we live in the twenty-first century,” Merlin grinned and then kissed Arthur with everything he had.

“Mmm, so am I,” Arthur laughed.

Chapter Text