Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They say marriage changes a person, but nothing much really changed after Sam and Cas were married in Bobby’s backyard. It wasn’t a legally binding marriage, but to them, it was official enough. Still, the dynamic didn’t change, between them or Dean and Jimmy. In fact, that night, they deigned to sleep in their trailer to spare Bobby from the sounds of their passionate, if a bit rough, love making. It was the best night the four of them had ever had together. Bobby’s air conditioning didn’t work quite right, so the cool wind being stirred through the luxury vehicle from the air vents was orgasmic by itself.

Everyone had a turn at everyone, Cas let Sam fuck him hard and deep like he did that time on the airplane, and Sam let Cas and Jimmy fuck his ass while his brother had his cock half a foot deep in his throat. After Sam had his go at Cas, Jimmy whined about not getting the same treatment, and so to be fair, Sam railed him as well. Dean was satisfied letting Jimmy fuck him while Cas and Sam had their turns in his throat.

Needless to say, it was a wild and exhausting night. They were such a tangled mess that you couldn’t tell who was on top or bottom at any particular time, and if an outsider was watching, they would never guess there was usually a power hierarchy among the four boys. They all gave as good as they got, and in the end, they collapsed into a pile of limbs and torsos where they stayed all night. They hadn’t found the time to shower before sleep and they’d definitely have to change the sheets in the morning, but no one really minded because they were all in a blissful sort of headspace unmarred by worries or outside concerns.

They awoke late the next morning; it was almost eleven. Dean was the first one up, going to the shower immediately. As if he could sense Dean’s absence, Jimmy roused the minute he left the bed, and went to join him in the hot, deeply cleansing water, leaving Sam and Cas in bed.

Amidst the chaos of the night before, they had somehow managed to find each other in sleep and cuddle close to wake up in each others embrace. Sam’s arms were wrapped tightly around Cas’s middle, his face buried in his new husband’s chest. Cas’s legs were around Sam as he cradled his head in one arm. The other arm was on top of them and his fingers were clenched around Sam’s collar at the nape of his neck.

It was a reassurance to both of them. Sam liked to feel Cas’s hand in between his neck and collar, it put just enough pressure on the side of the collar against his windpipe that he could feel it pressing slightly but not enough to inhibit his breathing really. Cas liked holding Sam’s collar because when he could hold Sam’s collar, it meant that Sam was safe and trusted him with control of his entire body.

A concept well known in fighting is that where the head goes, the body follows. If you have control of someone’s neck, then you can control the direction of their head and therefore, their body. Cas loved having a hand around Sam’s collar because it meant he could control the rest of him, and the fact that Sam trusted him enough to let him do that was everything.

Jimmy had tried to hold onto Sam’s collar once while fucking him, and Sam had actually yelped in panic. Dean hadn’t tried to touch his collar, but he would probably get a similar result. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust Jimmy or Dean, they simply weren’t Cas. Sam submitted in a wholly different way to Cas. There was a level of trust between them where Sam didn’t need to think when Cas was doing it for him. It felt somehow wrong to give control of everything to Jimmy or Dean, and, as he just promised in his vows, Sam would only give his everything to Cas.

That didn’t mean Sam enjoyed being dominated by all three any less, but holding or pulling the collar was something he’d only let Cas do.

After Dean and Jimmy had left the bed, Sam and Cas woke slowly and happily in each other’s arms.

Sam smiled up at Cas and pressed a kiss to his sternum, about the highest part he could reach being situated so far down on the bed. “Good morning, husband.”

“Good morning, husband,” Cas responded, kissing Sam on the head. “So what’s the plan for today?”

Sam thought for a minute before pushing himself up and straddling Cas’s stomach, forcing the other boy flat on the bed with a catlike grin on his face.

“Well…” Sam started teasingly as he ran feather-light fingertips over Cas’s chest. “I was thinking maybe a little debauchery…and then maybe a shower…and then some breakfast…and then some more debauchery.”

Cas laced his the fingers of one hand with Sam’s while his other hand cupped his new husband’s face. Hooking one leg over Sam’s in order to trap him, Cas flipped the other boy onto his back and sat between Sam’s legs triumphantly while Sam laughed in surprise and delight.

Bending over Sam, Cas brought soft lips and a probing tongue to Sam’s mouth all while they were still holding hands and he had Sam’s face in a gentle caress. Cas pulled back ever so slightly, staring into Sam’s already glazed and pleading eyes, and whispered into his mouth, “I think that is a very good plan.”

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Jimmy and Dean could hear the moment Sam and Cas were awake. While they fondled and teased each other in the shower, they could hear the rough pounding Cas was giving Sam, complete with intermittent slaps to the ass. From what they could tell, Sam was gagged and wasn’t putting up any resistance to Cas’s ministrations. Like he ever would when he was moaning like that, they both thought.

Dean looked back up at Jimmy with his cock in his mouth as their attention refocused on each other. Jimmy gave him a devilish grin and placed hands on either side of Dean’s head to slam his cock to the back of his throat. Dean gagged a little and his hands rose to Jimmy’s thighs, but Jimmy didn’t relent just yet. He held Dean until he was about to tap out on his thigh before pulling him off and cupping his face gently while throat slime poured out of Dean’s mouth and slid down his chest. Jimmy bent down and brought their mouths together after giving Dean a moment to catch his breath in heavy panting heaves.

“One more time, ok?” Jimmy murmured.

Dean nodded, and this time, Jimmy didn’t even have to guide him back onto his cock. Dean went on his own and took as much as he could into his mouth, letting the beautiful twin standing above him pull him the rest of the way down.

Desperate to prove himself a good boy, Dean closed his eyes and worked his throat muscles against Jimmy, eliciting a groan from the other boy. A few seconds later, Jimmy’s hands in Dean’s hair tightened. Dean choked a little in surprise, and the constriction made Jimmy spill down his throat.

After Jimmy helped Dean stand and washed him with gentle hands in the hot water, they finished up and finally exited to dry each other off and get dressed for the day. When they came out, Sam and Cas were sitting side by side on the bed like they hadn’t been doing anything just moments before. The only evidence was the arrogant satisfaction on Cas’s face and Sam’s blissful, blank eyes.

Seeing Dean and Jimmy were done in the bathroom, Cas stood and held out a hand for Sam. He took it and rose to follow the other boy into the RV bathroom to get cleaned up.

After what they’d just done together in the bedroom, neither had the energy to misbehave in the shower. That didn’t mean Cas didn’t ease his fingers into Sam’s ass to gather the cum and make him lap it up off his hand and then get on his knees to clean Cas’s dick before the water had a chance to wash away the remnants of their sweet morning wake up.

When that was done though, the actually washed and dried and dressed in clean clothes. They exited to find Jimmy nearly bouncing off the walls trying to get to the door of the RV.

“Are you guys done?!” Dean asked exasperatedly, grappling Jimmy’s torso, trying to get him to stand still. “He’s been trying to escape for twenty minutes!”

“I’m hungry!” Jimmy whined as he stopped trying to run and released almost all of his body weight into Dean’s arms, making the other boy grunt and strain to keep him from falling and hitting his head on the floor.

Sam laughed, both at Jimmy’s bratty, amusing behavior and at the fact that he was so going to be punished for acting like that later. Cas was in a good mood though, which may have had something to do with the fact that he’d been married the day before, so he didn’t snap at Jimmy or even give him that dominant stare that sent chills down Sam’s spine.

He just shook his head with a little amused smile on his face and said, “Well, then by all means, lead the way to breakfast.”

At those words, Dean loosened his hold and Jimmy slipped from his grasp, making a break for the door and nearly skipping all the way to the house. The other three followed at a reasonable pace and made it inside almost a full minute after Jimmy.

“That brother of mine…” Cas muttered under his breath.

Bobby was already making pancakes by the time they arrived and the smells were absolutely divine. He was no chef, but he’d added some mix of cinnamon and nutmeg to the pancake batter that was making the house smell like a bakery. Jimmy thought he’d died and gone to Heaven the moment he stepped inside.

The other boys felt similarly when they sat down at the table. They’d had to get their own plates and cutlery out of the cabinets, but the second they’d finished setting the table, Bobby brought over a plate stacked high with the cinnamony flat cakes.

“This is too much, Mr. Si…Bobby,” Cas said, correcting himself mid-thought.

“Oh, it’s nothing. Couldn’t let you boys go hungry the day after your wedding, now could I?” he responded, spearing two pancakes on the end of a fork and putting them on a plate for himself.

The boys had also gotten the bottle of syrup and can of whipped cream for the table to use as needed. Jimmy’s plate, as always, was filled with as much sugar as he could manage without it dripping off the sides. Cas served himself pancakes, then automatically lifted Sam’s plate to serve him as well.

Sam shot him a grateful smile, but there was something else about his expression that bothered Cas. It was the same expression that Sam wore when he wanted something but didn’t want to ask. Cas watched as Sam struggled for a moment internally before robotically forcing himself to take a bite. He hadn’t even made any sugary additions to his food.

“Sam,” Cas said softly while the others talked about the plans for the day.

Sam’s gaze didn’t quite make it all the way to Cas’s when he acknowledged his name being spoken. That was how Cas knew he was feeling particularly submissive. He put a hand on Sam’s thigh, giving him a reassuring squeeze.

“What do you need?” he asked in a tone barely above a whisper.

Sam shifted in his seat and nodded his chin at the floor between their chairs before finally meeting Cas’s eye. Unspoken words passed between them and several things were understood at once. Sam wanted to be on the floor. Sam wanted Cas to feed him by hand. Sam was also feeling shame about letting Bobby see. Cas didn’t quite care who saw as long as his husband was happy.

“Bobby?” Cas started. “Would you care if Sam sat on the floor and had me feed him?”

Sam’s head shot up, absolute shock on his face that Cas would just say that without warning. Dean, and even Jimmy, paused eating to see how Bobby would react to his words. They hadn’t exactly been sly about their very sexual relationship, and Bobby had of course seen Sam’s collar and bracelets, but they hadn’t ever done anything explicitly nonvanilla in front of him.

Bobby just shrugged and gave Sam a warm, pointed look. “Sam can do whatever he damn well pleases in this house. He knows that.”

Sam broke out into a smile which Bobby returned and made Cas’s heart swell. Sam slipped from his chair and knelt beside Cas, automatically going into a relaxed display position despite the fact that he was full clothed. Cas ripped a piece of Sam’s pancake with his hand and lowered it to Sam’s mouth. He took it happily and sighed as he tasted the rich cinnamon.

Cas took the fact that Sam hadn’t added anything to his pancakes as a sign that he just wanted the simple breakfast unadorned and let him eat it as such.

It was so common place for Sam to be kneeling beside Cas during meals that Jimmy and Dean didn’t even blink. Jimmy had eaten kneeling on the floor for Dean and Dean had eaten kneeling on the floor for Jimmy, but neither boy moved to lower themselves now. They were content just eating in their seats and sending dubious gazes back and forth.

Bobby didn’t even spare a second glance toward Sam and Cas, as if he didn’t find it strange in the least bit. That was something Cas was incredibly grateful for, the nonchalance about where Sam wanted to be. Cas had been trying to show him for a while that he wouldn’t be judged for wanting what he did and this was a big step in doing that. It was one thing to hear from his boyfriends that Sam’s submission was appreciated and nothing to be ashamed of, but the way his father figure just accepted it really eased Sam’s mind.

Cas had almost finished feeding Sam his food when, all of a sudden, interrupting the polite conversation going on at the table that Sam was definitely not a part of, the front door banged open and a decidedly feminine voice called out, “Beebo!”

Five heads whipped in the direction of the sound to see who had interrupted their meal. Sam started, rising to his feet before he even knew what he was doing. It must have been his training ingrained deep into his very being to get prepared for a fight when a stranger bursts into the house. Dean was also up and out of his chair, taking a protective position in front of Jimmy who was still sitting, but had dropped his fork in surprise. Cas rose to his feet when Sam did, ever vigilant to his husband’s anxieties and perhaps harboring some of his own from the two times Sam had been kidnapped.

Bobby seemed to recognise the voice though, responding, “Maddie?”

A girl, no more than twenty, stumbled into the room out of the hall, bleeding profusely from her stomach. She had dark brown hair and stunning, bright green eyes that the men could see from across the room. She would be pretty if it weren’t for the gash above her left eye, leaking blood all over her face, and the pain she was clearly in, distorting her pixie-like features. She had a slight build and barely any curves which enforced the ambiguity about her age. There were small cuts and scrapes all along her arms which were made visible by the ripped sleeves of her reddening shirt. The remnants of what might have been a flannel at one time hung in shreds around her waist, just above the ripped jeans that were also revealing bleeding cuts on her lower limbs. The boots she was wearing were worn and almost falling apart, and every inch of the girl was covered in a thin layer of dirt.

“Maddie!” Bobby responded, panic entering his voice at the sight of her condition. He jumped up from the table to rush to her side.

“I’m gonna need the med kit and some bourbon,” she pants with two hands pressed against her stomach to staunch the bleeding.

“Oh my gosh!” Sam exclaims, turning to look at Cas to see if he knew the strange girl that had just entered. Cas just shook his head, his mouth hanging open slightly.

“Who-” Dean began.

He was cut off by Bobby though. “Boy, go get the medical kit! It’s in the bathroom upstairs.”

Dean nodded once, the order sinking into him and his body reacting automatically as he had for years when his father would give orders in the same it’s-not-up-for-debate tone of voice. He ran upstairs to go get what Bobby had asked for. Sam reacted quickly too, going to the cabinet to get the fullest bottle of bourbon that was there. It was probably some old, expensive stuff that Bobby wouldn’t be happy about sharing, but it was the best thing there.

Bobby cleared the way to the living room and threw a pile of books that had been stacked on the couch to the floor.

The girl, named Maddie, apparently, shuffled her way into the room limping heavily. Cas saw the pain in her movements and dashed forward to help her to the couch.

“Let me help.”

The second his hands touched her shoulders, however, she recoiled and shoved him off as if he were coated in poison or something.

“Touch me again and I’ll give you a matching wound,” she spat.

She gestured at the dagger on her hip, and Cas backed off with his hands in the air. It was a wonder so much anger could be contained in such a tiny form, he thought. It was also strange that even in extreme pain and bleeding out, she didn’t want help.

Jimmy seemed to snap to his senses, remembering that he was a premed major and that he was the most equipped to handle the situation. He finally left his seat as Dean came running down the stairs, med kit in hand. They met Sam in the living room and watched as Maddie gingerly sat down and lifted her shirt over her head with a wince.

The boys went silent and even Bobby went pale at seeing not only her fresh wound, but the dozens upon dozens of scars on her back, stomach, and arms. She leaned back on the stack of pillows against one arm of the couch while pressing one hand to her stomach. Her face was twisted up in agony, a face that wrenched all of the men’s guts when they saw it. Maddie had started crying involuntarily, the pain ripping tears from her eyes.

The blood was coming from three long scratches across her abdomen made by claws too big to belong to anything of the animal kingdom Cas and Jimmy know of. Dean and Sam had an idea of what made those marks though.

The other scars…they were of various size, stage of healing, and location. Some were similar jagged claw marks, some are neater, smaller slashes. One or two wrapped entirely from her shoulder to her waist. Some scars were thin, white lines, others were in the throws of healing and remained an angry red, some others, seem to have only recently had their stitches removed.

Silent tears started pouring down Jimmy’s face as all the terrible things that could have made those scars on her pretty body materialize in his mind. Cas wrapped his arms around Jimmy’s middle, understanding the particular grief he always felt at seeing another person suffer.

Dean was analyzing the dagger at her hip though and the fact that she was most likely a hunter.

Bobby passed the girl the med kit and bottle of bourbon, not even hesitating to hand over the old, good brew. She popped open the med kit on her thighs and set the bottle down on the floor beside the couch within easy reach for her.

Glancing up and seeing Bobby’s worried expression, she shook her head. “I’m fine, Beebo. It’s nothing I can’t patch up myself.”

“No, let me,” Jimmy insisted, breaking out of his brother’s reassuring grasp to round the couch, already reaching out to grab the cleaning supplies from the amateur med kit on her lap.

“I wouldn’t if I were you,” Bobby warned. He sat down heavily into the chair adjacent to the couch. All the tension in his shoulders had left. “If she says she can do it herself, it’ll be a cold day in Hell before she does to do it herself.”

In all fairness, Maddie looked rather helpless. She had on a bralette that covered her chest, but there wasn’t much to cover in the first place, and the skin that was bare was covered in scars. Looking at her was like looking at a broken doll, and everything in Jimmy, the dom, the sub, the plain old human being, was telling him to fix and protect this broken thing.

It seemed that the others felt similarly. Dean and Sam were leaning over the back of the couch worriedly, and Cas stood by the foot of the couch, ready to help his twin in any way that he could.

Maddie ignored them all and threaded the needle with expert hands, as if she’d done it a million times before.

Jimmy reaches out to take the instruments from her, but she flinches away from his hands, shouting, “Don’t!”

Her voice was so loud and commanding that Jimmy instantly reverted into submission, taking it as a direct order, and drew his hands back quickly.

“I said, I got it,” she growled, a wary sneer twisting her face.

Maddie reached down and grabbed the bottle of bourbon, temporarily stopping the pressure to her wound in order to twist open the bottle. She took a deep swig and then poured a generous amount directly onto the gashes. She hissed through her teeth and screwed up her eyes at the burning but didn’t slow her movements.

Jimmy gasped, but he learned his lesson and didn’t interfere. He fell back on his heels and his hand found the armrest near her feet, the one Cas was crouching by. Cas laid his hand over his brother’s in silent solidarity.

Sam and Jimmy’s eyes met before turning back to watch Maddie set the bottle down again and pick up the needle she’d just threaded with the surgical thread. Bobby was just sitting in his chair watching her nonchalantly, as if she came in and fixed herself up on his couch often.

Dean looked from Bobby to the girl back to Bobby again. “Ok, who the hell is this?”

Bobby closed his eyes briefly and took a deep breath. He felt nauseous. “This…this is someone that I should have told you two about a long time ago.”

Sam’s brow furrowed, and he took a step closer to their father figure. “Bobby? Who is she?”

Cas and Jimmy also watched Bobby, every muscle in their near identical bodies strung taut, waiting to hear who this incredibly stubborn mystery woman was. Sweat had broken out on Maddie’s forehead, slicing through all the dirt and blood on her pretty face. Her hair was also quite matted with dirt and blood - whether it was hers or something else’s, even she didn’t know. Maddie bit the inside of her cheek and started in on herself, plunging the needle in and out to sew shut her own bleeding wounds.

“Dean, Sam, this is Madeline,” Bobby choked out, avoiding their gazes. “She’s your little sister.”

Chapter Text

The dark haired girl snorts. “Don’t lie to them, Beebo.”

All four of the boys’ heads whip from Bobby to Maddie, thinking for a moment that Bobby had lied about her being their sister.

“No one actually calls me Madeline. It’s Maddie,” she finished with a wicked smile.

The smile immediately fell though as she dipped the needle in and out of her skin again.

“Yeah, ok,” Dean said while nodding, seeming to dismiss the matter, then picking it right back up again. “What?”

“We have a sister?!” Sam exclaimed as shock registering on his features.

“I’m only your half sister,” she told them with a shrug. “Do you wanna guess which parent we share?”

She knew about their mother dying when Sam was only six months old. She knew because John liked to scream about it when he was in his drunken rages.

Sam and Dean exchanged a look as they digested the information. Dean came around the couch and swept a mess away from the edge of the coffee table so he can sit. “Why didn’t anyone tell us about you before?”

“Why do you keep calling Bobby ‘Beebo?’” Jimmy asked before she had a chance to answer the first question, still watching, openmouthed, as Maddie continued to stitch herself up without flinching.

Cas’s question came out quiet and haltering, as if while burning to escape his lips, he regretted the thoughts that prompted it every second. “Did…did your father treat you…the same way he… he treated Sam?”

There were scars so faded and thoroughly healed and the girl wasn’t that old…some of the scars had to have been inflicted when she was a child.

While the boys asked their questions, Maddie listened silently and worked on herself. Before answering, she took another swig of bourbon and poured another shot on her abdomen partially to disinfect the area more and partially to wash away the fresh blood that had seeped from the gashes. Now that they were somewhat clean, the boys could see that while the cuts were deep, her guts weren’t falling out and she didn’t appear to be in danger of dying any time soon. Still, it had to be incredibly painful, but the only sound she let past her pink, bow-like mouth was a little hiss at the burning alcohol.

“Three questions. Nice and biblical. First answer, I have no clue why Daddy Dearest never told you about me. He certainly told me about you!” Maddie paused to grit her teeth while tugging the thread through her skin and making another knot. She didn’t give the boys a chance to say anything though before she continued. “Second answer, I couldn’t say ‘Bobby’ when I was little. Kept coming out ‘Beebo,’ so that’s just what stuck.” Another pause as she nimbly made another stitch. “And, third answer, yeah.” She made brash and unwavering eye contact with Cas to answer his question. “Son of a bitch pedophile did the same things to me that he did to Sam, only it was worse because I had three holes instead of two.”

With that one sentence, she answered a dozen devastating questions that all four boys had thought of upon hearing that she was John’s youngest kid.

Maddie didn’t shy away from the words. She didn’t even make an attempt to hide the truth as Sam had. She didn’t care who knew what had happened to her, she didn’t care about what had happened to her. At least, that’s how it seemed.

That was daring in her eyes, not fear, not shame. Maddie was daring them to feel pity for her, daring them to ask for details they knew she would hand over because she didn’t care.

Jimmy gasped and two hands flew to his chest as the tears began flowing again. He stood up, taking a few steps back, right into his brother’s open arms. Cas just held his twin, feeling similar anger and despair at the prospect of another child being hurt by John Winchester.

“Jesus Christ,” Dean whispered as he scrubbed a hand down his face, an utterly solemn expression on his face.

Sam fell to his knees behind the couch. Because of how tall he was, he could still see over the top though, and could watch as Maddie carried on unbothered. John had done unspeakable things to him and apparently her as well, and yet, here she was speaking of them as if they were discussing the weather.

For the first time since she had entered, Bobby refused to look at Maddie, a fact that both of them were hyper-aware of. Out of all the babysitters she’d had, John left Maddie with Bobby the most, so he was the one that saw her bruises and limping and hadn’t done anything. When he’d apologized to Sam two days prior, he’d really been apologizing to the both of them, both kids that he’d failed to protect.

“I need a bowl of warm water and a clean rag.” Maddie’s voice was strong and sure and not at all like one would imagine a girl who had just admitted to being molested in her younger years voice to be like.

Sam was closest to the kitchen, but he was frozen where he knelt, so instead, Jimmy broke from Cas’s embrace to go get what she’d asked for.

“Where have you been all this time?” Dean asks. “Where’s your mom? Why didn’t she save you from him?”

There was a bit of anger in his voice towards the end, anger that Maddie heard and understood.

She shook her head and kept her gaze lowered, focusing on keeping her hands steady. “I don’t know who or where my mom is. Dad refused to tell me anything. She could be dead, for all I know. Or alive and living happily somewhere without the daughter she never wanted.” There was a sharp intake of breath from somewhere in the room, but Maddie ignored it. “As to where I’ve been…well, I’ve been nearly everywhere you have.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked, still leaning over the back of the couch.

Maddie eyed him warily and jerked her chin towards the other open chairs in the room. “If you really want the sopping sad story of my childhood, you might as well get comfortable.”

Sam took her suggestion and stood to make his way to the two seater. Cas of course took the other seat and they leaned against each other fondly.

Dean rose from the coffee table that wasn’t meant to hold a person’s weight for any extended period of time and sat in an identical chair to the one Bobby sat in. After bringing the bowl of warm water and clean rag to Maddie, Jimmy went to sit in Dean’s lap, although without any of his normal mischief or provocative squirming. He simply tucked himself under Dean’s chin and settled in to listen to Maddie speak.

Now that the boys had all found comfortable seats and had asked enough questions to prompt a full story about Maddie’s life, Maddie could distract herself from the pain with telling the woeful tale of her past.

She wet the cloth in the bowl on the floor beside the bourbon bottle and brought it to her stomach. Gently, she cleaned the skin around the claw marks in silence before setting the rag back in the bowl and starting again with the stitches.

“I don’t know where I was born or to what woman, but I do know that I was born almost two years after your mom died. Ellen Harvelle, a hunter that I don’t think you two ever met, took care of me a lot when I was a baby. She had a little girl of her own, Jo, but as soon as Jo was old enough to be left on her own, Ellen started hunting again and couldn’t take care of me. I had just started eating solid foods though, so Dad took that to mean I was old enough to be left alone in a motel room just like the two of you.

“So he started toting me around like he did with you. Sometimes he would drive you guys to the next city and then come back and get me to bring me to the same city, sometimes he would just make me ride in the trunk. Sometimes-”

“Wait, what?!” Sam exclaimed.

“He made you ride in the trunk? Of the Impala? While we were in the front?” Dean’s look of horror matched Jimmy’s, and Cas looked rather nauseous.

“Yeah, sometimes. He even gagged me once or twice to keep you two from hearing me.” Maddie snorted lightly in amusement as she thought back on the things that had happened to her. She didn’t look up to see their expressions, only focused on her hands and their careful mending of her skin.

“Sometimes he’d have other hunters like Bobby or Ellen or Pastor Jim or Martin or Daniel watch me, but for the most part, I stayed in the same crappy motels that you did.

“Well, usually, he kept us at different motels, but sometimes I think we were only rooms apart in the same motel. Were there ever times that he would tell you not to leave the room under any circumstances? I mean, I know he always told us to stay in the room, but sometimes he would get this threatening expression on as he told me that even if I were dying, I had to stay in the room and die there rather than leave the room.” She chuckled. “I think he just didn’t want us running into each other getting ice from the hallway.”

Maddie finally glanced at Sam and Dean to see if they knew what she was talking about, to see if they’d had the same experience. Sam was just staring on with a stupefied expression, but Dean was nodding his head. There had been times that John stressed more than others not to leave the room. Of course, he only told that to Dean because he was the older brother and responsible for making sure Sam followed the same orders he was given.

Sam saw Dean nodding and confusion crossed his face. Apparently, he didn’t know about the restrictive orders they had been given on the occasion that they were likely in the same motel as their sister.

“I don’t know why he didn’t want you to know about me, but he talked about you two all the time. It was always ‘Dean knows the difference between a bowie knife and a skinning knife’ and ‘Sammy could kill an Obake when he was ten’ and ‘Dean could dig up a grave in four hours when he was eleven’ and ‘Sammy doesn’t fight me this much when I fuck him.’” The five horrified expressions grew even more disturbed at that, but Maddie didn’t even notice. “I guess I was the only constant person he had to talk to, so every time one of you accomplished something, he’d tell me about it. And then, whenever I missed a benchmark or failed at something you’d succeeded at, he’d make sure to compare me to you. I don’t resent either of you though, because I pulled ahead rather quickly.

“He started bringing me on hunts with him when I was around eight or nine. I guess the double motel rooms began to cost too much, or he simply didn’t trust that I wouldn’t run away if he left me alone. At any rate, I got a much more ‘hands on’ training than either of you, and I started hunting before you despite being younger.

“Then when he started letting you two hunt, remember how he would only let you come on some missions with him? Well, those were the times that there were two monsters in the same vicinity. He would work on one with you two and then let me take care of the other. If there was only one baddie in town, he told you that it was too dangerous and made you stay in the motel.”

Realization alighted both Sam and Dean’s faces as they began to understand why their father did some of the things he did. Jimmy was still silently crying in Dean’s lap, the story Maddie was telling so casually struck him in the heart deeper and deeper with every word she added.

Maddie looked down as she finished her first row of stitches along the longest gash in the middle. She grabbed the rag and cleaned up the blood that continued to come from the other two shorter gashes. It flowed at a much slower pace now, but that wasn’t saying much. Before starting on another rip, she took a third swig of bourbon. Despite the fact that each time she took a drink it was more than a glassful, she hadn’t started showing signs of drunkenness. She was loose with her tongue, but that was just the way she was: brash and unconcerned about the way others thought of her.

“Then you two left, and Dad didn’t have to manage which of us would work with him when. So he and I worked together, quickly and quietly. There were times that we would enter a town one morning, research all day, kill the thing at night, and be gone by the next morning.” There was a bit of pride in her voice at that. Maddie was abused to no end by their father, but he had trained her to be a good hunter. She was one of the best. She was wraith-like, breezing in and then vanishing before anyone knew she was there.

“Sometimes, he’d send me off on my own if there were two pressing cases that he couldn’t do at once, but for the most part…he kept me close. We were separated though when Dad disappeared a month or so before Christmas.” By now, Maddie had adjusted to the pain of having a needle go in and out of her skin and wasn’t even hissing at it. “And I’ve been hunting alone ever since.”

The very air seems to go still as her final words were uttered. Maddie had kept her voice carefully void of emotion as she told the boys her life story. Vulnerability was not something she allowed herself to touch or even conceive touching.

She’d spent years protecting herself, protecting her mind, from the wailing assaults John dealt, and she’d done it alone. She didn’t have a younger sibling to focus on protecting or an older sibling to protect her. She had been laid bare much more often than she ever liked to think about. While Maddie didn’t care what people thought of her and didn’t mind thinking or talking about what happened to her, she didn’t like to think about what that meant or how it affected her.

Maddie gladly answered their questions about her past, relished in their surprised expressions even, but if they’d asked her how she felt about it…that question would go unanswered.

“Dad’s dead,” Sam whispered in the silence.

Whether he was informing Maddie or reassuring himself, it was hard to tell, but Maddie nodded in response all the same.

“I know. I went and spat on his grave.” She paused to pick up the rag and wipe down the area she was working on so she could see the flesh she was sewing together clearly.

“He has a grave?” Cas asked dubiously with hatred in his voice.

“The state gave him a paupers burial, nothing but a name and date on the flatstone, but don’t worry, I dug him up after to salt and burn the body. That bastard isn’t coming back any time soon.”

“You did what to his body?” Jimmy asked.

Maddie grimaced while she forced the needle through a particularly difficult patch of skin.

“To prevent someone from coming back as a ghost, you have to sprinkle salt over the body and burn it to ash,” Dean explained quietly.

Cas wrapped an arm around Sam’s back. Sam had been tense the entire time Maddie was talking. He had thought he was alone for so long, keeping what his father had done a secret, and now…now there was someone who would understand. Sam would never wish what had happened to him upon anyone else, but to have someone who knew what he’d gone through without him having to explain it…

Cas knew what Sam was thinking and slid his hand higher, slipping two fingers under his collar. Sam instantly relaxed into his touch, the nonverbal, dominant gesture reminding him that Cas was beside him and that he’d never let anyone hurt Sam in a way he didn’t want to be hurt.

The moment he processed the reason he relaxed though, he stiffened again. What would Maddie think of him taking pleasure in being ordered around and fucked speechless by three of the boys in the room while that was the very thing they hated their father for doing to them? When it was just him that John had abused, he could justify liking Cas doing it to him because he loved Cas and knew he would never take it too far. But now that he had a sister that had experienced the same as him in childhood…it made him doubt everything he liked.

Cas sensed Sam’s discomfort, but didn’t say anything on it because the attention was still on Maddie. He just tightened his grasp on Sam’s collar the way Sam liked. This time, however, Sam squirmed in discomfort and slid away from Cas as far as he could go on the small couch. It didn’t take him out of Cas’s reach, he could still touch Sam’s collar if he wanted to, but there was something wrong. Sam didn’t want him to. And if Sam didn’t want to, then Cas didn’t want to. He let go and brought his hands together in his lap.

Maddie made one final knot in the second row, finishing the second strip of stitches beside the first. She’d gone from largest to smallest claw marks, so the last one now is only about fifteen centimeters long.

“What gave you that?” Bobby asked to fill the growing silence.

“Werewolf,” Maddie grunted in response before taking a drink of the bourbon. She started on the final strip of stitches. “I found a pack up in Brookings that had just started their feeding. I killed them all before too many humans went ‘missing.’ One got a slash in at me though, before I killed him. You were the closest safehouse.”

“How many were there?” Dean asked, his interest peaked.

“A dozen or so. I lost count.”

“You killed a dozen werewolves?!” Jimmy shouted, his excitement and astonishment bursting out of him.

“That’s…that’s more impressive than you think,” Bobby told him. “Werewolves aren’t like you see in the movies. They’re vicious monsters with two goals: to eat human hearts and reproduce as many werewolves as they can. They usually live alone, but there have been a few cases of packs forming. In those cases though, it usually takes an equal number of hunters to take down the werewolves. Maddie did it all herself and came away with a single scratch, albeit a bad one…”

Maddie flashed a predatory grin at Jimmy who snapped his mouth shut and averted his gaze.

Another long silence filled the room as Maddie worked on herself. It wasn’t necessarily awkward, it was just that no one wanted to distract her even though she seemed perfectly capable of talking and listening while sewing.

Sam was still as far away from Cas as he could be on their small couch, and Cas was watching him carefully. Cas knew Sam always got skittish about their lifestyle around new people that might not understand it, and that Maddie was a special person that might be in their life for a while.

No one had dared think of the possibility that they might fold her into their four-way relationship some day. They didn’t even know how old she was, and she had had such a tenuous childhood introduction to sex that it seemed like a near impossibility that she would be interested. Granted, if they’d known about Sam’s past before meeting him, they might have thought the same. He’d turned out to be quite the resilient man, still capable of blessing Cas with his submission despite all that had happened to him. Maddie though…they knew nothing of her mental state or opinion on matters of submission and dominance.

Suddenly, it made sense that she didn’t want anyone to help her stitch up her wound, it would be a surprise if she let anyone touch her at all. Everyone in the room had realized it, and Sam was taking it hardest of all.

Sam had pulled his knees up to his chest and wrapped one arm around his legs while he fingered his collar with his other hand. His face was a mixture of displeasure and neutrality, but in reality, he was fighting tears.

Cas only wanted what he always wanted, Sam’s happiness. And the way to get it in most situations was to find a way to let him be submissive. So Cas was the one to break the silence by broaching the subject tactfully.

“My name’s Castiel, but most people call me Cas.”

She glanced up to meet his eyes, but didn’t respond before going back to her work.

“That’s my twin brother Jimmy.” He pointed at the obviously identical boy in Dean’s lap. “We’re dating your brothers.”

“That’s weird,” Maddie responded. Though the words may have been perceived as offensive, her tone was completely monotone and non-judgemental. She was simply making a comment for the sake of making the comment. In reality, she didn’t care if her brothers were gay or had each found themselves half of a set of twins. “Who came first?”

“Sam and I,” Cas said with a faint smile on his lips. “Actually, Sam and I were married yesterday.”

He watched Maddie carefully to judge her reaction.

The news that the Winchester brothers had a little sister was earth shattering. For the longest time, it had been the two of them. They’d relied on each other, they still did, and knowing that they had another sibling that didn’t have anyone to rely on broke their hearts. She had her own life now though. She was a hunter just like their dad, just like Dean.

Of course they wanted to get to know her. If she was living like most hunters did, on the road, then the closest thing to a home she had was a collection of safehouses. She’d said Bobby’s was the closest to her after the werewolf hunt, so clearly, she had a list of several places she thought of as safe. It was a unanimous thought in all the boys’ heads that they’d like their home in California to be added to her list of safehouses.

She seemed independent enough, but finding out they had a little sister made Sam and Dean feel inexplicably guilty. There really was no way for them to have known she existed, so they couldn’t have known to protect her, but they still felt bad that she didn’t have anyone growing up. And she was their sister, siblings are supposed to stick together. They wanted her in their lives. They wanted to be in her life.

Depending on when her birthday was, she could be either seventeen or eighteen according to what she said earlier. When Dean had joined Jimmy, Cas, and Sam in their wildly undefined relationship, it had been a natural progression of shared interest. While Cas had no expectations of doing the same with her, he still watched her response closely because it could make or break her relationship to her brothers and the Novak twins forever.

“Congrats.” Maddie’s voice was again monotone, suggesting that she didn’t really care at all about her brother’s marriage to Cas. “If I’d have known, I’d have brought a gift. Do you want one of my guns or blades? They’re out on my bike, help yourself.”

“You rode a bicycle here?” Jimmy asked before his brother had a chance to respond.

“It’s a Harley, genius,” she said, snipping the thread from the final stitch in her abdomen.

“We’re…we’re good,” Sam answers for the both of them. “Thank you though.”

He had breathed a sigh of relief when Maddie didn’t seem to care that Cas and him were married. She didn’t even bat an eye at his collar, which he was pretty sure he’d seen her gaze lingering on earlier when she’d entered the room.

Maddie replaced the needle and excess thread into the med kit and got the gauze and wrapping out. She eased herself off of her back, a pained expression scrunching her beautiful features once again. She washed the area one more time with what was now cold water in the bowl that Jimmy had gotten for her and then unfolded the gauze and pressed it against her new stitches before tightly wrapping her middle with the strips of clean material.

After she was done with that, Maddie let herself fall back against the pillows as she took another drink of the bourbon to dull the pain that was still singing along her nerves. She used the cloth that was soaked in more blood than water at this point to wash her face, being careful around the small cut above her eye.

It went right through her eyebrow and would most likely scar over, causing a split in the middle of her left eyebrow that wouldn’t grow hair anymore. Brilliant, she thought.

Regardless, it wasn’t bad enough for stitches, but she did want it to heal quickly, so she reached back into the med kit to get a single butterfly stitch. Butterfly stitches are more like professional bandaids than real stitches, and she stuck it perpendicular to the cut, squeezing both sides together.

Maddie put the med kit on the coffee table and surveyed the men in the room one more time.

Sam had relaxed a bit. His mind was still reeling from what she’d told them and the way his feelings were uneasy now. There was one thing he knew for sure though, and that was that he loved Cas, no matter what. He would try not to let Maddie’s shared past inhibit him from enjoying submitting to Cas.

Cas was happy with how things had gone telling Maddie about the boys’ relationships. She hadn’t seemed enthusiastic, but she definitely wasn’t judgmental or disturbed by it. Granted, she didn’t know the half of what they did when they were alone, but that would come later if she became a regular part of their lives.

Jimmy had always had a big heart and seeing others in pain or distress made him unhappy. The only reason he wasn’t balling his eyes out was Dean’s steady arms around his smaller body. Jimmy had thought when Sam finally confessed what John had done to him that he would never feel that bad about what had happened to another person, but here he sat, feeling even worse for Maddie.

Dean was still in shock that he had a sister. Having another sibling was something he’d always imagined. He thought Sam would make a good big brother and wanted him to be able to experience it. There were certain downfalls to being a big sibling though, one was the extreme anger that you feel when someone hurts your younger sibling. Dean’s vision had gone red with rage at what John had done to Sammy, and hearing that the same had happened to this sharp-tongued wisp of a girl that was apparently his sister…that made him nearly shake with rage. The only reason he wasn’t tearing the room apart and summoning John’s spirit so he could kill him again was Jimmy’s warm, quivering body in his arms.

“Now, I haven’t slept for a few days, so if you’ll excuse me, I’m going off to dreamland now.” Maddie’s gaze was steely as she stared down each one of the boys. It was a silent threat that if they should do anything to her in her sleep, she’d make them pay for it.

And with that, Maddie turned her body towards the back of the couch, burying her face in pillows and upholstery, and slept.

Chapter Text

Maddie hadn’t bothered to put a shirt on before going to sleep, so the sharp lines of her body were clearly visible to anyone who looked. She had turned onto her side, her legs bent so her thighs were nearly against her midriff. One arm was resting over her stomach, protecting the weakest part of her body at present. Just before she drifted off, Maddie had taken the dagger from her belt. She now held it in her other hand under the pillow, ready to strike should something come for her while unconscious.

Half of her face was pressed against a pillow, but the other half was visible as her dark, curly hair didn’t obstruct the view at all. And in the peace of sleep, the boys could study her features as they were instead of the expression they wielded.

They could see now that she had washed most of the dirt away that Maddie was pretty. There were a few slight crooks in her small nose, but that just added to the charm of the pointed, up-turned tip. Her skin was pale but blemish free and there were the remnants of mascara on her eyelashes. Her eyebrows were well sculpted as well, evidencing a woman conscious of her looks, but not so concerned with them as to fret over the way other people saw her. She certainly didn’t care that four strangers watched her sleep with matted hair, the rest of her body still dirty, and not even wearing a shirt.

The boys could also see her ribs poking out from beneath her skin ever so slightly, an observation that greatly worried them. Still, the broken doll on the couch before them had a graceful and powerful air about her that drew them in.

From where Cas and Sam sat, they had a perfect view of her back. While Sam studied her scars and thought about the way many of them were similar to the ones he had, which numbered few in comparison to her motley tapestry of past pain.

When Cas studied her scars though, he saw a pattern emerge. The artist in him couldn’t help but notice how certain lines overlapped and created unintentional shapes. A henna design began painting itself in his head. He quickly dismissed it though. Maddie didn’t even like being touched, so she would never allow him to sit and paint a large work of art on her back, would she?

After a few moments had passed and the boys realized that she was truly asleep and wouldn’t wake unless she was done sleeping or something ripped it from her, they all got up quietly and left the room. They had forgotten about the breakfast that they didn’t finish, but no one was hungry anymore, and so they just cleaned up with as little dish clinking as possible.

“I’ve got to go make a delivery. I promised another hunter more of the vervain that I grow, but he can’t come to me,” Bobby told the group after they’d finished cleaning the table. “It’s a few hours away. Are you boys going to be ok with Maddie until I get back? It’ll probably be after dark.”

They exchanged glances before Cas nodded. “We’ll watch over her.”

The older man nodded and went to grab the jar of vervain that he’d picked fresh that morning before the boys got up.

“Bobby, can I ask you a question?” Sam stopped Bobby in his tracks on the way to the door.

“Well, sure,” Bobby responded.

“Is Maddie…ok?” Sam glanced back into the living room at the sleeping girl. “She…she may have gone through something even worse than I did, and that’s really saying something, but she talks about it like it’s no big deal. What my dad did to me…it wasn’t anyone’s fault but his…but it messed me up. It changed me, it’s the reason I’m going to become a lawyer. Maddie though…she talks about it like there was nothing wrong with it, like she doesn’t care that he hurt her.”

“I don’t think she does.” Bobby didn’t respond immediately, but when he did, his voice was low and solemn. “Maddie has always been very good at ignoring certain parts about herself that she would rather not acknowledge. She’s had to be so strong for so long that she’s forgotten what it means to be vulnerable. If your concern is that she has low enough self esteem to believe she deserved it, you don’t need to worry. I don’t think she even has an opinion of herself at all. She doesn’t know how to feel about herself because if she stops for one moment to think about it, she might get an answer she doesn’t like. So she lets herself be something of a blank slate. What happened, happened, and that’s all there is to it for her. All she knows is hunting, and so that’s what she does, even though it’s running her ragged. That’s the life she was given, and she doesn’t know how to change it. So, no. I don’t think she’s ok…but I don’t think she knows that.”

Sam turned to check on Maddie again, and the others followed his gaze. She was in the same position as before, lying still with the dagger in her hand under the pillow.

“That’s…that’s awful.” Jimmy’s voice was soft as he whispered the truth.

“Hunting can’t be the only thing she does,” Cas hypothesized.

Dean was still a hunter, and he found time to “play” with his brother and the twins. Surely, Maddie had other hobbies or people she liked to spend her time on breaks with.

Bobby just pursed his lips and raised his eyebrows while shaking his head to say that, hunting was indeed the only thing she did.

“Doesn’t she have any ambitions or interests of her own?” Dean asked. “I mean, Sammy had been wanting to leave to go to college for years before he did, and I’ll admit, I wanted a normal life for a while too. Doesn’t she want anything like that? School? A normal job? A family?”

“No. She doesn’t have any wants because she was never allowed to want before. She just had to make do with what she was given. I’m not entirely sure she even knows it’s ok to want more than you have,” Bobby replied to four dismal faces.

Overcome with guilt and sorrow for never having intervened, Bobby turned and left his house before the boys had a chance to pull anymore devastating information from him.

After he was gone, Dean locked the door behind him and then turned to the others. “What do we do?”

“What do you mean?” Cas asked as he wrapped an arm around Sam’s waist.

“I mean what the fuck do we do with Maddie?” he clarified in a whisper-shout so he didn’t wake the topic of their discussion. “We have a sister, Sammy! And she’s as worse off as we’ve ever gotten. We can’t leave her flapping in the wind. There has to be something we can do to help her.”

Jimmy nodded along. “We can pay for anything she needs. Oh, Jesus, why haven’t we taken her to a hospital?!”

He seemed to just realize that her wounds were grave enough to warrant a hospital visit, but that no one had suggested it.

Cas just shook his head. “I don’t think she’d like anyone touching her, even if it is to help her feel better.”

“That, and she’s probably wanted in several states,” Dean added.

“What? I thought she was one of the good guys.” Jimmy couldn’t imagine who would want to imprison her when she was saving so many lives.

“She is,” Sam told him.

“It’s just that most people don’t know what we know, and all they see are dead bodies everywhere she’s been. They don’t know there was some horrific creature inhabiting those seemingly human bodies,” Dean explained as Jimmy wriggled his way under Dean’s arm. “So odds are, she’s been arrested on more than one occasion for murder.”

Both of the Novak twins’ mouths were hanging open, shock in their eyes, but it was no surprise to Sam. He knew the dangers of the line of work his family was in, the supernatural and human ones.

“A hospital would ID her, and she’d be booked.”

“So then we can help her some other way,” Jimmy insisted.

“I’m sure our parents wouldn’t mind us buying a small house for her wherever she’d like.” Cas could see the importance of taking care of his new little sister in Sam’s eyes.

Sam had never really been responsible for someone else before, but he instinctively wanted to protect her. For the first time ever, he knew how Dean felt as a big brother.

The group moved to the kitchen so they could sit down and keep an eye on Maddie while they talked.

Dean shook his head. “She’s a hunter. She’s not going to just accept a house and settle down in it for no reason. She’s had injuries like that before, I can tell. It won’t slow her down, not even a little. She’ll lie low for a few days, but the second she gets wind of a new case, she’ll be on it. I know because that’s what I was like before meeting you guys.”

“So we get her a nice RV.” Cas bought the RVs for their road trip, they hadn’t been terribly expensive, so he was sure he could get another one for Maddie. “If she wants to keep hunting, then at least she can do it in a comfortable place that allows her to recuperate before throwing herself back into battle.”

“If she wants to keep hunting?” Sam questioned. “You heard Bobby. That’s all she knows how to do.”

Cas just shrugged. “Maybe we could teach her to do something else.”

>< >< ><

Maddie woke several hours after she’d fallen asleep. She wasn’t exactly sure what time it was, but it was dark outside.

Her grip flexed on the dagger still warm in her palm beneath the pillow as she cracked her eyes open just a slit. There was only one boy in the room with her, one of the handsome twins, Jimmy, maybe. He was sitting in an armchair reading a book.

She could hear low conversation coming from the kitchen, but she could only pick out two different voices. Where’s the last boy? And where’s Bobby?

Maddie yawned and sat up carefully, only to have a splash of water thrown in her face. Well, that answered the question as to where the last boy was. Dean stood at the foot of the couch, holding a flask of holy water.

Maddie blinked slowly at him as she wiped her face. “I appreciate the caution, but just so you know, it’s too little, too late. If I were a demon, you’d all be dead by now.”

Dean didn’t speak, he just offered a handful of silver cutlery to her, and she wrapped her hand around the other end and lifted her brows as if to say See? Are you satisfied?

Dean just narrowed his eyes and shrugged. “Just wanted to make sure you are who you claim to be.”

Sam and Cas had been the ones talking in the kitchen, but they came out when they heard Maddie awake.

“I’m not a demon. I’m not a shifter. I’m not lying to you. There’s nothing I stand to gain by pretending to be your sister. I didn’t even know you were here when I came. I’m not lying as evidenced by, one, the lack of motivation, two, the lack of knowledge, and three, the severe lack of shits to give.” She shrugged and shivered a little, wrapping her arms around herself as she eyed the four boys in the room. “Where’s Bobby?”

“He had to make a delivery. Said he’d be back late,” Sam told her.

Maddie studied him carefully. Sam’s face was flushed, his eyes were glassy, and his lips…they were bright pink and slightly swollen. His fly was down, and his shirt was buttoned wrong, as if he did it in a hurry. Her eyes shifted to Cas who was standing slightly behind Sam with a hand on his back. A change had come over his posture. He held himself differently, his chest was puffed and his spine ramrod straight like an animal about to enter into an alpha fight. His clothes were done up properly though, and there was no flush to his face, but his lips were slick.

There was no question about it, Cas was the top and her brother was the bottom in their relationship. She already knew that though. Sammy was wearing a collar and locked bracelets for Christ’s sake. He was more than a bottom, he was a sub. Maddie didn’t understand why, given everything their Dad had narrated doing to him, but she also didn’t care.

“How late?” she simply responded.

“He didn’t say.” Sam shifted uncomfortably under her gaze.

“And what time is it now?”

“Eight thirty. Are you cold? Do you want a jacket?” Jimmy asked, watching goosebumps form on her torso between all the criss-crossing scars. The water Dean had thrown on her didn’t help, wet skin equaled cold skin.

Maddie slid her feet to the floor in a smooth motion that didn’t disturb her tightly wrapped middle and leaned back against the upright pillows of the couch.

“There’s a green duffel strapped to the back of my bike. I have clothes in there.”

“I’ll get it,” Dean and Sam said at the same exact time. They looked at each other, realizing that they were feeling the same older brotherly feelings, and wordlessly agreed to go get it together.

With them gone, it was just Maddie, Cas, and Jimmy left in the room. The former began inspecting the smaller cuts along her arms and legs, scraping dried blood off of her skin with a fingernail and assessing whether they should be bandaged or not. Most of them would heal without leaving a scar behind, so aside from cleaning the wounds she’d leave them alone.

“So you two are fucking my brothers, huh?” Maddie asked in that oh-so-casual tone of hers.

Jimmy’s book slammed shut, and Cas choked on his inhale, having to cough several times before regaining his countenance.

“Um…yeah, I guess you could say that we do.”

“Often at the same time,” Jimmy added playfully, earning a slap upside the head by his brother and a severe warning look.

It was too late though, Maddie already heard. She heard and she combined it with the information that Sam was a submissive.

“It…we don’t…we don’t have a traditional relationship…” Cas began, having no idea where he was going with it. It was hard enough posing the idea of a four way relationship to an interested party, but to somebody that might not understand, or more, would reject the idea, was another thing altogether.

If they were all together, then it was probably safe to assume that they all engaged in bdsm together. Figuring out who was the dom and who was the sub in Cas and Sam’s relationship was pretty easy, but with Jimmy and Dean, it was pretty hard. Dean seemed like the type of person to be pretty commanding, but then, most often, it’s those people that enjoy surrendering control. Maddie wondered if the goofy boy in front of her was the dom. Jimmy had stopped smiling when Cas gave him that hard look, so if he was a dominant, he wasn’t as dominant as Cas.

Maybe… Maddie thought, Maybe it’s more complicated than two couples. Maybe Cas dominates his brother too…that look they shared seemed an awful lot like a ‘You’re so going to get it later’ look.

“Are you hungry?” Cas asked before he had to explain further.

Maddie nodded slowly, not entirely ready to dismiss the subject but not entirely sure she wanted the answers they gave if she went down that line of questioning. “Cabinet to the left of the fridge. Bottom shelf.”

Jimmy automatically got up to go get food for her, mainly to get out from under his brother’s incessant stare. When he opened the cabinet to the immediate left of the fridge, the bottom shelf was stocked full of about a dozen cans of Spaghetti-Os. He picked one up and brought it back to Maddie.

“Do you want a spoon or, like, someway to open the can?”

It was clear he’d never had to open a can before in his life and had no idea how to help her do it.

Maddie snorted and took the proffered can. “I’ve got it.”

And within the next second, she’d stabbed her dagger directly into the top of the can. Both boys flinched and watched as she withdrew the blade, licked it clean of the red spaghetti sauce, and proceeded to saw off the lid. Stabbing the top had released the pressure inside so the cutting was easy.

Maddie licked off the metal lid carefully so she didn’t cut her tongue on the sharp edges and then the dagger again while the twins watched with shocked curiosity. Before she started eating, she held out the can to the twins, offering the first bite. They both just shook their heads wordlessly. So she brought the can to her mouth, tipped it up, and caught a mouthful of sauce and mushy noodles on her pink tongue. Cas and Jimmy were absolutely fascinated by the way she ate the soup. They hadn’t ever seen anyone eat directly from a can, and though they didn’t know how to open cans, they were pretty sure most people didn’t do it with a dagger.

Sam and Dean walked in to find Jimmy sitting on the edge of the coffee table and Cas on the edge of an armchair, watching Maddie drink Spaghetti-O’s from the can. Sam set the green duffel bag on the couch next to her.

“Thanks.” She held up her can. “Want some?”

Sam shook his head fervently. “I have had enough Spaghetti-O’s to last a lifetime. Honestly, if I had to eat another stupid little circle, I’d throw up.”

“I was wondering why Bobby had so much,” Dean commented. He’d never seen the man eat them, but both Winchesters knew about the Spaghetti-O’s shelf in his cabinet. They just didn’t know who he kept them for. “I remember when Dad would go off for a couple weeks and all he’d leave us were cans upon cans of that crap. You aren’t tired of it yet, kid?”

Maddie just shrugged and poured some more into her mouth.

“So how are you feeling?” Sam asked, sitting down in the chair Cas was leaning against.

“Better.” She rolled her shoulders and pressed a hand against her side. “I’m not bleeding out anymore.”

She looked down at the bloodstains on Bobby’s couch that would be difficult to get out. It was just one of many stains on that couch that he usually just covered up with throw blankets or pillows.

“So how long are you boys staying?”

The twins and Sam all looked to Dean. Another tidbit that Maddie tucked away in her mental casefile trying to determine if Dean was a dom or a sub. Perhaps he was both, depending on the mood.

Dean shrugged. “The school year starts sometime in August, and I already showed you everything I wanted to on the road trip. So we can stay as long as Bobby will let us.”

Maddie nodded and dumped the dregs of the can into her mouth. She held it upside down for a moment to make sure all that was going to come out is out, and then she set the can on the coffee table beside Jimmy before licking her fingers clean.

“What about you? How long are you staying?” Sam finally asked.

She shrugged and gingerly stood up, wincing only a little, and the boys marveled again at how she ignored the pain. She shuffled a few steps and all of the boys had to resist the urge to leap up and help her.

“Until I can walk without a limp, I imagine,” Maddie said in answer to the question. She hoisted the duffel onto her shoulder and started to make her way out of the room.

“Wait, where are you going?” Jimmy asked, rising from his seat.

She lolled her head to the side and offered a smile void of amusement. “To the bathroom to get cleaned up and put on some clothes. Try not to miss me.”

Being the playful flirt he was, Jimmy responded, “I’ll be counting the seconds we are apart, my love.”

“Hey! I though I was your love!” Dean looked at Jimmy with mock hurt on his face.

Maddie left before she could hear Jimmy’s reply and ensuing makeout and limped her way to the bathroom. She dropped the bag onto the floor and leaned heavily on the counter. Her face was haggard as she stared at her reflection. Maddie wasted no time in splashing cold water from the tap all over her face, torso and arms. She stripped out of the bloody clothes she was wearing and wiped herself down with bare hands before digging clean clothes out of the green duffel.

Shivering, she put on the undergarments and another pair of jeans that had holes in entirely different places. At least they weren’t covered in blood. The warmest shirt she had was a threadbare flannel that was about four sizes too big. As a rule, she didn’t wear more than one layer at a time because if a monster came calling and slashed or bit at her, it resulted in the least amount of loss of clothes. For instance, if she had been attacked wearing two shirts, then both would be ruined instead of the one. So, no matter how cold she got, Maddie only wore one layer.

The blood on her other clothes had dried enough, so she just stuffed them back into her bag. She’d clean them out at another time. The shirt she’d stripped off earlier was still on Bobby’s floor, but she’d have to throw that one out because of how ripped it was.

The boy stopped talking as soon as she came out, their attention refocusing on her as they took in her new outfit and the persistent limp. Maddie left her bag in the hallway and made her way into the room.

Noticing how worn and thin her shirt was, Cas furrowed his brow. “Don’t you have anything warmer than that?”

She’d been shivering pretty bad before. He couldn’t believe that ratty old thing was enough to warm her up.

Maddie shrugged and looked him dead in the eye, refusing to feel shame. “I haven’t had time to drop by a thrift store for a while."

“Thrift store…I almost forgot about that…” Jimmy’s voice was sad as he remembered what Sam had told them about his wardrobe growing up.

Dean just now realized how lucky he was that Sam found Cas and Jimmy. Maddie was a reflection of who he would be if they hadn’t brought him in like they did. He fought back tears and swallowed hard. Jimmy noticed and wrapped his arms around Dean’s middle.

“When was the last time you wore something that was brand new?” Dean knew the answer. He knew their father. He knew how he would answer that if someone had asked him before the twins. But still, he had to ask.

“Oh, I don’t know. Never?” Maddie snorts that short little, not-quite-laugh of hers. “I’m pretty sure half the onesies my dad got from the trash were still covered in piss when he put them on me.”

Sam felt like the air was sucked from the room. Cas’s head was spinning. It was happening all over again. It was devastating to learn how deprived Sam had been of a real childhood, and here was another person that suffered similarly. When he and Jimmy found out about Sam’s past, they had wanted to shower him with all the things he never had. And with everything Maddie told them…Cas couldn’t imagine how her childhood could have been worse. Every fiber of his being was screaming at him to help her, to give her everything he had.

But instead all he said was, “That’s…that’s awful, Maddie.”

She shrugged again. “That’s just the hand some of us are dealt. You got two choices after that, you play it as best you can or you fold.” Maddie studied the boys, making intense eye contact with each of them. “I don’t fold.”

“But you’re on your own now. Why don’t you buy new clothes for yourself?” Jimmy asked innocently.

Such a task as buying new clothes would seem so simple to someone who was raised with a thousand dollar weekly allowance.

Before Sam or Dean had a chance to intercept the potentially insulting question, Maddie raised an eyebrow. “Being a hunter doesn’t exactly come with benefits, genius. Or a paycheck. Where do you think my funds come from?”

Cas and Jimmy exchanged glances. Neither one of them had thought to ever ask Sam or Dean that before. How did they get by if they weren’t paid for what they did?

“Our Dad taught us how to set up fake credit cards,” Dean answered quietly.

The constant lies were something he was simultaneously proud and ashamed of. They pulled of some seriously unbelievable scams. He had met and tricked hundreds of people into believing he was someone else successfully, but that also meant there was almost no one in the world that knew who he really was. No one except his brother and now the twins.

“No, he didn’t,” Maddie shot back, annoyance edging into her tone.

“Yes, he did,” Dean said just as fervently. “That man didn’t have an honest dollar to his name. Every cent he spent came from one of those stupid credit cards that he never paid for.”

“Newsflash, bitches!” she shouted. The anger in her voice was the first ounce of emotion she’d showed since meeting them. “He may have taught it to you but not me! He didn’t exactly trust me enough to show me the inner workings of the credit card scams he pulled. Like I said, I fought him. I tried to run away a few times, and my ass and feet bled for it. He needed some way to keep me reliant upon him. So that was the one trick of the trade he would never teach me. The one thing that would give me total independence from him.”

Sam gasped softly and leaned into Cas for comfort. Both of the twins looked shellshocked, and Jimmy choked on the emotion rising up in his throat.

“Wait…” It was as if Dean’s brain had stalled trying to process the fact that their Dad didn’t teach Maddie the same skills he taught the boys. “So how have you been surviving?”

“Theft. I’m rather adept.” Maddie held up the watch she’d taken from his wrist with a catlike grin. He hadn’t even felt it when she took it five minutes ago.

Dean’s shocked expression turned to a deadpan as he marched over to her and took it back. Wearing a self-satisfied smile, she followed him further into the room and sat on the arm of the couch.

“So since Dad died, you’ve just been stealing money from people?” Sam asked.

Maddie made a noncommittal half nod. “Money or valuable things I could pawn.”

It’s not that she didn’t feel guilty about stealing from people, and she did consider the possibility that they needed it more than her, but she chose her marks carefully. They always looked wealthy enough to spare whatever cash was in their wallet at the time. And she didn’t feel bad about taking jewelry because it was unnecessary. They could stand to lose it so she could buy dinner.

“What if you didn’t need to steal anymore?” Cas watched her carefully. “My brother and I come from a wealthy family. If you come back to California with us, we could buy you anything you wanted…within reason. Although, there isn’t much that’s not within reason, especially for the sister of the two most important people in our lives. We could get you an entirely new wardrobe of new, warm clothes.”

Maddie gave him a simpering, patronizing look. “Listen, Silver Spoon, just because you’re willing to flush Daddy's money down the toilet, doesn’t mean I’ll let you. You buy me something new, and it’ll get torn to shreds and covered with blood within a week. It’s a waste of your money and time.”

“I disagree,” Cas responded. “We just want to help you.”

“I don’t need your help!” Maddie stood and crossed her arms, lifting her chin haughtily.

“All due respect, but I think you do! You’re barely scraping by as it is.” Cas rose as well to face her head on.

Jimmy could be rather stubborn when he wanted to. He wasn’t as obedient as Sam, so Cas had had his fair share of brat arguments where his opponent just refused to accept what was best for them. Sam had also fought the doting a bit at first when he didn’t feel so comfortable taking gifts from the Novaks, but with stern affirmations from Cas, he grew to accept it.

So you could say that Cas was a professional sub tamer, and although he didn’t view Maddie as a sexual partner, he viewed her resistance the same. He was confidant he could crack her.

“You wouldn’t have to pay us back for any of it, and we wouldn’t make you stop hunting,” Jimmy helped. “We can just be like your benefactors or something.”

“Benefactors? I’m not a charity case!” she shouted defensively, jabbing at her chest. “I don’t want your stupid money!”

That wasn’t mischievous resistance as it was with Jimmy. That wasn’t unfounded shame as it was with Sam. That was anger. Pure and raging and hot and untamed.

Cas was taken aback but determined. He could help Maddie. He knew it.

Maddie must have seen the resolution in his eyes because she knew he wasn’t going to stop until one of them left. She followed possible outcomes of an extended stay with the both of them at odds. It would just be miserable. Him constantly pushing for her to accept help. Her constantly refusing and snubbing his offers. In the end, she wouldn’t be rested or healed, in fact, she predicted she might very well tear her stitches if this argument went much further.

And so she inhaled deeply and sighed heavily while staring Cas directly in the eyes. Her expression was still irate, but more resigned than hostile. “You know what? I better go.”

She rounded the couch and started towards the hallway.

Cas knew better than to try and grab her. He may have been determined, but he wouldn’t push the boundaries of what she was comfortable with. “Don’t leave, Maddie.”

Sam and Dean watched silently. There was nothing they could offer her in the way of financial help, and both had slipped into submission the first time Cas raised his voice. Neither one felt rather inclined to speak up. Their father had taught them to trust only one person: themselves. Maddie had survived this long on her own, and she was resolved to keep it that way. The boys hadn’t been so reluctant to rely on the twins, but then again, they had relied on each other their whole lives. Maddie didn’t have anyone like that. If she let Cas and Jimmy help her, it would literally be the first time she relied on anyone.

Bobby and other hunters was different. They didn’t really help her so much as offer a spring board for her to bounce back on. And it never came without a price. There were two reasons a hunter would help another hunter, because they planned to stab them in the back later, or because they could squeeze a favor out of them later.

Jimmy jumped up and followed his brother who had followed Maddie. “Let us at least give you one of our jackets before you go.”

The nights got cold in South Dakota, even though it was the summer, and Maddie had lost a significant amount of blood from the werewolf inflicted wound. Until her circulation and blood pressure were back to normal, she’d be chilled.

But she didn’t stop walking, just bent to pick up her green duffel and sling it over her shoulder before growling, “I’m fine.”

Cas followed her into the hall, stopping at one end while she continued to the door. “Come on, just-”

“I said I’m fine. And you can’t stop me.” Maddie grabbed the door handle with her back to the group while Jimmy and the Winchester brothers came up behind Cas.

The voice that Cas used next was one all three boys were well acquainted with. It was the voice that could kill Jimmy’s brattiness in a second, the voice that could silence Sam’s doubts and made him hard instantly, the voice that made Dean forget all those years chasing girls and pine for the feel of the floor beneath his knees. It was the ultimate no-nonsense, I-know-best-because-I-love-you, if-you-don’t-listen-I’ll-make-you-regret-it voice that had ever been mustered.

Cas rose up to his full height, threw his shoulders back, and set his stone cold dom face. “Madeline Winchester, get back over here this instant.”

Maddie froze, her hand on the door knob. Her arms went slack and she dropped the duffel bag beside her with a thump. She turned to face them oh-so-slowly, all the indignation gone from her face, leaving behind the raw visage of a lost, broken girl, starving for someone to love her.

It was like Cas had shocked the fight right out of her as tears welled up in her waterline. Her bottom lip trembled as she lowered her gaze from Cas’s face meekly.

Maddie bent her knees and slowly and carefully lowered herself to the ground. She tilted forward, placing her hands on the floor deliberately while arching her back and lifting her ass.

She looked up from beneath lowered lashes with that same innocent expression on her face and whispered, “I’m sorry…Master.”

Cas willed the hardness forming in his pants to soften. His breath caught in his throat. Of all the things he expected her to say, that was certainly not one of them. He was struck dumb at her response and could only stare with his mouth hanging open as Maddie began crawling across the floor towards him.

“I didn’t mean to upset you, Master.”

Cas couldn’t stop the small moan that ripped from his lips. The second time she said “Master,” it sent a sensual spark through his body that made him ball his hands into fists to resist the urge to cover his growing erection.

“Is…is this…” she paused, cocking her head to the side. “Is this what you wanted?”

Maddie crawled closer, stopping only when she was an arms length away from Cas, looking up at him with remorse and…was that regret? Lust? Or something else entirely?

Fast as lighting, Maddie spun on the ground, kicking out one leg that swept under Cas’s feet. He buckled, falling hard, but before he could hit the ground, Maddie was there. She caught his neck in one hand, her other going to his shoulder, and pushed him back against the wall. She stood above his kneeling form with his shoulder blades and head against the wall, his neck in her hand, triumph and…dominance sparkling in her eyes.

Maddie bent down to purr in his ear. “Because like I said before, I don’t fold, and I don’t kneel. To. Anyone.”

Cas bit his lip and mentally cursed the sudden rush of blood to his cock.

“Maddie!” Sam shouted, jolting forward to get to Cas.

Just as quickly as she had trapped him, Maddie let Cas go. She backed up and made her way to the door again. She picked up the duffel bag, struggling a bit more this time after tearing more than a few stitches pulling the maneuver with Cas, and hoisted it onto her shoulder once more.

She turned to see Sam kneeling beside his husband, fretting over her light fingerprints where he’d been gripped on the neck. Jimmy tugged on Cas’s arm, willing him to stand up, and Dean hovered over his boyfriends protectively, ready to defend them should she attack again.

Cas was looking at Maddie though. She surveyed him up and down in turn, taking notice of the hardness in his pants, and rolled her eyes before opening the door.

After she had already taken a step out the door, a sudden thought occurred to her. She leaned back into the room around the door.

“Oh, and I don’t turn eighteen until next month.”

And with that, she slammed the door behind her and disappeared into the night.

Chapter Text

“Where’s Maddie?” 

They were Bobby’s first words when he came through the door a few hours after Maddie vanished in her whirlwind of indignation. He could see the vacant spot on the couch were she had been when he left, and he knew, somehow, that she wasn’t anywhere else in the house. 

Dean was the only one still up, sitting at the kitchen table with a beer. They’d all gone to bed together, Sam and Cas in one bed, Jimmy and Dean in the other. Before Maddie showed up, they all fully expected their night to be a reprise of the amazing night before, but in light of the recent discoveries about the Winchester sister, none of them felt like doing much of anything but holding each other close and reveling in the rare companionship they’d found. Three out of the four fell asleep like that, but as soon as Sam and Cas’s breathing leveled out and Jimmy’s tight hold around his waist had slackened, Dean got up and went back downstairs.

“Gone,” Dean responded to Bobby’s question about Maddie’s whereabouts as he took a swig of what appeared to be his fourth beer, judging by the number of empty bottles on the table beside him. “Cas tried to save her like he saved Sam and I… She didn’t like it.”

“They didn’t try to offer her money, did they?” 

Dean could hear the tension in Bobby’s voice as the older man grabbed a beer from the fridge and joined him at the table. 

“Yup,” he responded. 

“Oh boy. Please tell me she didn’t hurt anyone.” Bobby sat with his bottle between his hands, too worried to drink it yet. 

Dean stared off into the distance silently for a moment before shaking his head and then taking another swig. “Scared us a little…gave Cas a hard-on…but no, she didn’t really hurt anyone.”

Dean hadn’t bothered to linger on the fact that being dropped and choked by Maddie had turned Cas on. Dean was too caught up on thinking about how he could have helped her if he’d known she existed, but then…Sam was right under his nose and he hadn’t managed to save him from their father. 

Bobby visibly relaxed hearing she didn’t lash out at one of the boys, finally managing to bring the bottle to his lips. After a few swallows he addressed Dean. “You gotta be careful with people like Maddie. If you spook ‘em, they’ll strike hard and run fast. She’s had a lifetime of sudden attacks from places she didn’t expect which means she reacts at the first sign of trouble.”

Dean drained the last of the beer in his bottle and set it on the table roughly before dropping his head into his hands, emotion thick in his voice. 

“It’s my fault. It’s all my fault. I should have known about her. I could have put it together if I had thought about it long enough. She wouldn’t have had to be alone so long.”

Bobby set aside his bottle and shook Dean’s shoulder. “Don’t you talk like that, boy. If it’s anyone’s fault, it’s mine. John would drop her off, half purple with bruises, and I didn’t say a thing. I didn’t ask her what happened, I didn’t try to get her away from John, I didn’t stick up for her then, and it’s too late for me to help her now! She’ll always know me as the man who stood by and let her built wall after wall around herself…but you boys…well those twins worked miracles with Sam. He used to be afraid of his own voice, but now…well, I look at him, and I see someone who’s happy. He may not have had a good childhood, and the memories of that will never go away, but he’s happy now. That’s all I want for Maddie…and I think you boys stand the best chance out of anyone of getting through to her.” 

Dean just wiped the single tear from his cheek with the back of his hand while shaking his head. “We blew it, Bobby. We blew it and she got upset and she’s gone now and we won’t be able to find her, so there’s nothing we can do. One day of having a sister, and we already failed her! I failed her.”

He slammed a fist down onto the table in half-drunk anger.  

“Dean?”

Jimmy was suddenly in the doorway, rubbing his eyes. 

“Why’d you leave?” He yawned and blinked the bleariness from his eyes only to see Dean almost weeping out of frustration with himself. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

Jimmy rushed over, instantly wrapping Dean in his arms. He pressed his face into Jimmy’s stomach, letting himself be enveloped in the other boy’s cool, clean scent. Jimmy pressed firmly on Dean’s back with one hand, keeping their fronts flush, and let his other hand follow a repetitive stroke through Dean’s hair, down his neck, down his back, stopping just above the hand on his back. Over and over again, almost like he was petting him.  

Dean didn’t bother to try to explain to Jimmy what he was feeling, there were no words for it anyhow. No words could fully convey his self hatred at the moment. The guilt for not realizing what had been happening to Sam when they were kids was something he’d never get over, but he thought he had at least gotten past it. Sam had forgiven him, and he’d killed the man responsible for it. But here that same guilt was rearing its head to spit ugly, derogatory remarks at him.

The renewed guilt about Sam was probably because of the newly founded guilt about Maddie. She’d been in the trunk of the Impala while he was in the front. Jesus Christ. Why didn’t he hear her? If John had gagged her sometimes, that meant he could hear her when she wasn’t gagged which meant that there was at least one incident that the boys were in the car, and she’d made a sound audible enough that had prompted John to start gagging her. Why hadn’t he heard it? If his father did, why didn’t he? 

There was also in indescribable sadness swirling in his gut. The fact that he and Sam had a younger sister that didn’t share the same mom meant that at some point, his father slept with another woman. It was after his Mom died, and his father was an adult. He could sleep with any consenting woman of age he wanted to…but Dean had never thought about it before. He idolized his Mom, and the thought that his father just moved on after she died tore him apart. And more, that he moved on with a woman that didn’t even want her child. Well, that or his dad got her killed shortly after she gave birth. That was honestly more likely. Dean knew that being close to people was dangerous in their line of work. He’d risked a lot by letting himself get close to the twins, but they had a personal security team, that made him feel a lot better. 

So, Dean cried tears of betrayal for his Mom, guilt for his brother, and anguish for his sister. And Jimmy let him until Sam and Cas came downstairs, wondering where their brothers were. 

 Bobby took his leave without a single word, knowing it was probably better to leave the four boys to heal in solitude. 

“Dean! What happened?” Sam rushed to Dean’s side. He hadn’t ever seen his brother full out sobbing like this since…well, maybe ever. 

Sam dropped to his knees in front of his brother and took his hand, squeezing insistently. Cas’s panicked eyes immediately met his brother’s. It was a testament to how strong their brotherly bond was that Jimmy was able to communicate instantly and wordlessly that Dean was feeling guilty, but that he was physically fine. 

That was something that drove their parents insane when they were kids. They’d often forget to communicate normally with words when in polite company and had been reprimanded on several occasions for their overly exaggerated expressions that only the two understood. That didn’t stop them from doing it though, they simply became more subtle with it or made sure their parents couldn’t see. 

Sam’s eyes hadn’t left Dean since entering the room, so he didn’t catch the interaction between the twins. 

“Dean, what’s wrong?” Sam insisted, shaking his older brother’s shoulder. “Are you ok?”

Dean finally lifted his head, allowing Sam to take his face into his hands and wipe the tears away with his thumbs. 

“Yeah, I’m ok, Sammy,” he managed to choke out. “But Maddie isn’t and you weren’t, and I didn’t do anything about it.”

Understanding softened Sam’s concern into sympathy. 

“You didn’t know.” Sam shrugged. “I didn’t want you to know. And Maddie knew about us, she probably knew where we were staying too when Dad used to drag us all around the country. If she wanted us to know about her, all she had to do was come and tell us. You can’t keep beating yourself up for things that weren’t your fault, Dean. I don’t hold it against you, I never have, and Maddie doesn’t either. She literally said she doesn’t resent us.”

Dean stopped sobbing, but there were still quiet tears dripping down his cheeks that Sam had to keep wiping away. Cas began rubbing Dean’s back reassuringly. 

“No!” Dean shouted after a moment, jumping out of the chair as if it were a stovetop that someone just lit. In doing so, he made Sam fall back onto his butt, flung Cas’s hand away from his body, and hit Jimmy’s shoulder hard, causing him to stumble back a few steps, almost losing a fight with gravity. “You can’t just forgive me like that! What I did…what I didn’t do…I can’t just get off that easy! There have to be consequences!”

“Consequences? You want consequences?” Jimmy regained his footing quickly after the shove and automatically bounced back to grab Dean, one hand gripping the side of his face, the other wrapped around his neck, squeezing to the edge of uncomfortableness.

In the same way Cas had the primary claim on Sam, Jimmy had the primary claim on Dean, and both Cas and Sam watched as Jimmy held Dean firmly and stared into his eyes. There was an unspoken communication that passed between them. Although he didn’t know it at first, the pressure against his windpipe made Dean realize his desperation for the sharp burn of a whip against his skin. 

Cas helped Sam stand quietly, both trying not to interrupt the moment. Sam gaped as his normally even-keel brother’s outburst flickered out under Jimmy’s firm hands.

Jimmy’s eyes blazed with hot lust and unwavering control as he stared the slightly taller boy down. Dean sank to his knees slowly, panting heavily, and Jimmy went with him, not loosening or changing his grip the slightest. 

Jimmy switched his hold so one hand had a firm grasp on Dean’s hair at the crown of his head and one was still squeezing his throat. He let Dean see how serious he was before bringing his face centimeters away from Dean’s.

“Normally, I wouldn’t agree to do this to you,” Jimmy breathed. “It’s important not to mix up personal guilt with sexual punishments, but if it will help you understand that your slate is blank, then I will tie you up and whip your hide bloody all night .”

Dean shuddered violently, the hardness growing in his jeans undermining the objective of penance without pleasure.

“I think maybe it’s time we head back home,” Cas offered softly. 

They didn’t have the proper space or tools at Bobby’s for Jimmy to do what Dean wanted him to, and they’d reached the end of their road trip anyhow in a calamitous steaming pile of depressing revelations. 

Jimmy looked over at his brother, and they came to the same conclusion. Asking for a sexual punishment for an unrelated offense that, in this case, wasn’t a real unforgiven offense at all, wasn’t something they took lightly. Giving Dean some time to think about it and change his mind was necessary.

Jimmy’s hands loosened, the harsh hand in Dean’s hair softening into a cradle, the one around his neck loosening to a reassuring caress. He pressed kisses down the center of Dean’s face, from his forehead to his nose to his mouth. Jimmy lingered there, deepening the kiss not aggressively, but insistent on showing Dean how much he loved him. 

“Can you wait until we get home?” Jimmy whispered into Dean’s mouth, pulling back to let him answer. 

Dean nodded, tears in his eyes. When Jimmy moved to release him and stand up, Dean inhaled sharply and flung out his arms to cling to Jimmy’s torso. He was trembling from head to toe and physically couldn’t let Jimmy leave him, even a few steps. 

Jimmy bent again and wrapped his arms around Dean, helping him to his feet as Dean tucked his head into the crook of Jimmy’s neck, still crying. 

Cas put a gentle hand on Sam’s back and gave him the slightest nudge toward Jimmy and his brother. Sam went, putting his arms around his brother immediately. Cas stepped into the hall to make a few phone calls, and when he was done, he came back into the room and gave Jimmy a thumbs up to tell him that there was a plane on the way. 

Because Cas had pulled a few strings in order to get a plane as quickly as possible, it wasn’t one of the Novak’s planes that was waiting for them at a private air strip just a few miles away from Bobby’s house. It was a friend’s private jet that had been much closer than any of the Novak’s and only took twenty minutes to get there. 

Dean’s tears had stopped flowing, but the misery was still there. Sam telling Dean that he was forgiven didn’t help much because then it was thrown in his face how much better of a person Sam was than him. Sam could love and forgive through almost anything, and Dean knew that if their positions were reversed, he wouldn’t dismiss it as easily. The more he thought though, the more he realized that there was nothing Sammy could do that would make Dean stop loving him. Could…could it be that it was the same for Sammy? That nothing Dean could do could make Sam stop loving him? No.  

It didn’t matter either way. Dean believed Sam when Sam said he’d forgiven him a long time ago, but it wasn’t enough for Dean. He felt he deserved more because he should have been more, more for Sammy, more for Maddie, and he wouldn’t stop feeling that way until the pound of flesh was taken. 

Jimmy wasn’t strong enough to carry Dean all the way. Cas might have been able to do it, but Sam was the most equipt, so he was the one that gathered Dean into his arms and carried him outside to the Impala. Jimmy was just a step behind Sam, holding Dean’s hand the entire time. Cas led the way and climbed into passenger’s seat while Jimmy sat in the back. Sam put Dean on his feet just long enough for him to climb in after Jimmy and curl up on his lap with one leg on either side. Dean pushed his face into Jimmy’s neck and wrapped his arms around his back tightly.

Sam got into the front and followed Cas’s quiet directions to the private air strip they were going to take off out of. 

Cas had somehow managed to get a plane that could carry a car. He knew their two security guards would drive the trucks with the RVs back to Palo Alto, but they needed to get Baby home too, and this was the best way. 

Once they’d all arrived and loaded onto the plane, Sam carrying Dean again, they settled into plush leather seats. 

This plane was a bit different than the Novak’s private jet. There wasn’t a bedroom in the back, but that might have been because of the holding space that they’d put Baby in. The eight or so seats in the cabin were still comfortable and spacious though, and there were TVs in the walls. 

The ride was rather uneventful. It was just about two hours, and the boys were quiet. Dean had curled up on Jimmy’s lap again and fallen asleep there with his master’s hand stroking through his hair and down his back. Sam had curled up on Cas’s lap too, although he didn’t sleep. He spent nearly the whole ride watching Dean. 

Sam knew his brother. He knew how stubborn he could be. He knew that the only way to get Dean to let go of this forever and finally forgive himself would be punishment. And Sam knew he had to be the one to give it. Jimmy would certainly help, and Sam would take cues from him, but at some point, Dean needed to know the whip was in Sam’s hands. 

It’s funny the way guilt works. Someone can be told a million times over that they have been forgiven, but sometimes the only way for them to let go of the guilt is reciprocity. Sam had to use Dean’s subspace to get through to him and finally make him let go of that guilt. 

Dean finally roused as they touched down, woken by the slight rocking and jolt of the plane. 

“Welcome back to the world of the awake,” Jimmy murmured into the top of Dean’s head. “How are you feeling?”

Dean shifted and stretched a little, craning his neck to look up at Jimmy. He paused a moment before responding, “Better. My head hurts a little though.”

That may have been the beginning of a mild hangover. He’d had a few at Bobby’s, and the plane ride gave the hangover time to develop.

“Do you still want us to deliver on those consequences?” Before he had a chance to answer, Jimmy put a finger against Dean’s lips. “It’s ok if you changed your mind. In fact, I’m hoping you did, because you have nothing to feel guilty for anymore.”

Sam sat up and stood with Cas to stretch while Jimmy made Dean think about it. 

Dean finally nodded, and when Jimmy moved his finger away from Dean’s soft, pliable lips, whispered, “I need it.”

His voice was weak, perhaps for the first time in his life, and the pure, raw desperation was palpable. 

“Then, we’ll give it to you,” Sam responded, reaching out a hand to help his brother to his feet. Dean went willingly and melted into his younger but physically bigger brother. Sam wrapped one arm firmly around his back and bent to gather Dean’s legs into his other arm so he was carrying him like a baby. 

That was how they exited the plane together, Cas and Jimmy following close behind. Warm California air greeted them with a sweet breeze across their faces. Normally, Sam would have inhaled deeply and sighed heavily at the pure bliss of being home again and knowing he was going to his house with the people he loved more than anything in the world, but this time he kept his breathing even, so Dean, who was clinging to his shoulders and chest, wouldn’t be disrupted. 

Being so conscious of his brother and his brother’s needs put him in that familiar dominant headspace that he’d need tonight. Tonight? Would they wait until the night? It was still dark outside, but the sun would be rising in a few hours. It didn’t matter what time of day it was, Sam supposed, it was still summer and they didn’t have anywhere they needed to be. They could complete Dean’s punishment and then sleep all day if they wanted to. 

Dean pressed the side of his face into Sam’s chest, his heartbeat strong and steady in Dean’s ear and calming the erratic beating in his own chest. Dean knew his brother was strong, but he still couldn’t believe how effortlessly Sam carried him. Sam was strong. Sam was good. Sam could forgive those he loved of anything.

Cas watched his beautiful Sam carry Dean down the stairs and onto the tarmac. He could see the muscles rippling beneath Sam’s thin shirt, and felt a thrill that always sent shivers down his spine when Sam was dominant. Sam could do anything. He could submit, and he could take control. He was as close to anyone in this imperfect world could get to perfect, Cas thought. 

It was difficult for Jimmy to remain serious for long periods of time. It was just in his nature to be sarcastic and test limits, but he recognized that it wasn’t about him right now. Dean needed them. That thought sobered Jimmy and kept him in his dominant headspace of cool and collected control. 

The staff at the private air strip they landed at had unloaded Baby for them, and the four boys climbed into the car the same way they did for the drive to the plane in South Dakota. Sam driving, Cas on his right, Jimmy in the backseat with Dean curled on his lap. 

They rode in silence until Dean decided that to get what he needed, he had to voice his expectations. He unburied his face from Jimmy’s neck and turned his head so his voice would carry all the way to the two boys in the front seat. 

He took a deep, steadying breath. “I…I want…I need you to hurt me, Sammy.”

Sam’s heart skipped a beat, and it took all of his concentration to keep the Impala straight on the road. He knew that he had to be the one to punish his brother, but hearing Dean say those words…

“I know, Dean,” Sam responded softly. 

“I’m not talking just a few lashes to get off. I don’t want to be able to sit or lay down for weeks without feeling it. Use whatever draws blood fastest, and I want two hits for every time Dad ever hurt you. One for you and one for Maddie, ok?” Dean’s voice was still weak but confidant, as though the anticipation of what he was asking for drained his strength but he would accept nothing less. 

Sam didn’t respond. 

“And you can’t let me go until you’re done, no matter how much I cry or beg. Even if I pass out,” Dean added. “Ok, Sammy?”

Sam had to respond to that one. “No, Dean! No! If it’s too much, you safeword. If you’re begging me to stop, I’m going to stop! You can’t ask me to just keep going no matter what. That’s not fair. Not to you, not to me.”

“What Dad did to you wasn’t fair either!” Dean retorted.

“Which is why you can’t ask me to be like him.”

That shut Dean up. Jimmy’s arms tightened around his freckled hunter, but he let the brothers hash it out. 

Dean sighed begrudgingly. “Fine. If I safeword or pass out, you can stop. But until that happens, you have to give me two hits for every time Dad ever touched you, ok?”

Sam exchanged a glance with Cas. Cas just gave the tiniest of shrugs. It was up to Sam this time. Sam could technically give Dean any number of lashes and say that was double the number of times their Dad raped him. He was the only one alive that would know. He did know the real number though. Each experience was burned into his mind. 

Sam looked to Cas again to find that open, supportive expression. He couldn’t even guess what Cas would do in this scenario. Cas had been the one to teach him the importance of not mixing up personal guilt with playtime, but he had also showed Sam how much release there was in punishment and submission. Sam knew firsthand how forgiven and clean you could feel after punishment. 

Would it be bad for him to use a corporal punishment on his brother for something he didn’t have to feel guilty for or worse to keep that absolution from him?

“Ok, Sammy?”

Something had changed in Dean’s voice then. It was fragile. As if the wrong answer could shatter him. 

Sam pulled into their driveway and put Baby in park before reaching back and setting a warm hand on his brother’s hip.

“Ok, Dean.”

>< >< ><

Neither Henrik nor Marta was there when they got inside. It was about three in the morning, and no one had bothered to call ahead, so the two house staff members were asleep in the guest house. It was just as well though, the boys had the house to themselves for a few hours until Marta got up to come in and make breakfast for herself and Henrik. 

The boys brought Dean into the kitchen. This time, he walked on his own, but he still clung to Jimmy like he was a buoy in a raging sea and the only thing keeping Dean’s head above water. 

The minute Dean realized they were going into the kitchen and not immediately down to the basemen, he balked.

“Wait, what about my punishment?! What about…the…the ‘consequences’?” His head whipped to Sam as he tugged a little against Jimmy still trying to get him into the kitchen. “You promised, Sammy!”

“You’re right. I did.” Sam went to his brother instantly and put firm, reassuring hands on his shoulders, pushing down as if he could suppress Dean’s resistance. “And we’ll get to that, but you should eat something first.” 

Cas led the way and immediately went to the cupboards to retrieve bread and peanut butter to make a simple sandwich. Sam got him a full glass of water while Jimmy sat Dean down at the table. 

“You should really be hydrated before we start, and you’re probably not going to want to eat anything for a little while after, so you should have something now,” Jimmy explained softly. Jimmy was sitting at the head of the table and had a warm hand on the back of Dean’s neck. He was sitting at Jimmy’s right, and they were leaning so close their foreheads were nearly touching. 

“I don’t wanna eat anything. I just want it over with,” Dean protested in a hoarse tone that wrenched Jimmy’s heart. He could hear the guilt and self-hatred in his voice. 

In a way, Dean had been waiting for this moment is whole life. It was no secret to the twins or Sam that Dean felt responsible for Sam, and when things went bad in their childhood, the blame was usually placed upon his shoulders. Justified or not, it weighed heavily on him and the punishment they’d promised him could lift that weight. It could wipe his slate clean. Dean didn’t like his chances at getting into Heaven, but he’d like them a whole lot more after the whipping. 

That was all self-imposed though. If there’d been an angel nearby, he might have been able to tell Dean how perfectly perfect a candidate he was for Heaven.

Sam joined the two at the table and sat next to his brother, setting the water glass in front of him. “I know, De. I know you want it over with, and we’re not trying to make the anticipation worse by making you wait, I swear. You just need to be hydrated and have some food in your system or you’re definitely going to pass out.”

Those words made Dean go stiff. He’d told Sam to keep going if he passed out because he wanted the full force of his punishment, conscious or no. Eventually, he’d agreed that if he passed out Sam could stop, but he didn’t want to pass out. He’d only agreed to that because he was confident he could will himself to last the entire punishment. He definitely didn’t want to pass out before Sam was done though. 

So he begrudgingly picked up the cup and drank the water. Jimmy kept a reassuring, dominant hand on the back of his neck which he squeezed every now and then just to let Dean know it wasn’t a casual gesture, Jimmy was holding and supporting him deliberately. 

Sam looked at his hands while his brother drank the water in little sips. He thought he should probably drink something too, but he could barely swallow past the lump of emotion that had lodged itself in his throat back in Sioux Falls and hadn’t left. It was no different than any other time dominating his brother, he tried to tell himself. Deep down, he knew that wasn’t true though. 

Cas joined them, sitting across from Dean, and set the peanut butter sandwich in front of him. Dean just glared at the plate and didn’t move to take it. Sam watched as Jimmy took it instead and tore a bite sized piece off before holding it up to Dean’s mouth. Sam knew from personal experience that it’s not a good idea to refuse something your master holds up to your mouth. Apparently Dean knew it too, because he did open his mouth and accept the food, chewing it slowly. 

It went on like that for a few minutes, Jimmy tearing off pieces of the sandwich Dean refused to eat on his own and feeding them to him. Sam had to push the glass of water towards his brother every now and again to remind him to drink. After Dean finished both the sandwich and the water, the boys let him get up from the table and walked him down to the playroom. 

“Why don’t you go get him cleaned up?” Cas suggested softly to his twin, jerking his chin in the direction of the bathroom. Jimmy nodded.

“Come on, sweetie,” Jimmy said to Dean, giving his side a squeeze. Dean had his arms wrapped around Jimmy, and he had an arm wrapped around Dean’s waist. Dean had to let go of Sam’s hand which he’d held the entire way down, so he could go clean up in the bathroom. It was important that if there was even a possibility that skin was going to be broken, they had to disinfect the area well so it healed properly.

Jimmy didn’t tell Dean this, but he also planned to use a bit of numbing gel on his back and ass to make the lashes a bit easier. 

Jimmy sat Dean down on the edge of the bathtub and went through the steps of using a soft cloth and hot, soapy water to first clean Dean all over which served a two fold purpose. He was cleaning and also soothing the tension he could literally see in Dean’s muscles. It worked like a charm. Dean relaxed under his touch, and Jimmy started murmuring reassurances under his breath. 

Then, he made Dean turn around to instead have his feet in the empty tub and his back to Jimmy, so he could wipe down his shoulders and back with a cool alcohol pad. Dean stood when given a gentle prompting, and Jimmy wiped down his full, pert ass and the back of his thighs with a new alcohol pad. 

Jimmy made him keep standing and without telling Dean what it was, rubbed numbing gel over the same areas he’d just cleaned with the alcohol pads. Dean had slipped too far into subspace to care what Jimmy was putting on him, and he failed to notice the smell that should be familiar after the number of times the twins had used the soothing substance on him and Sam. 

While Jimmy prepped Dean in the bathroom, Sam and Cas moved the spanking bench out into the middle of the room and chose the implement of destruction. 

Sam stood before the open cabinet that contained most of the twin’s impact play gear. He had no idea what to use. His brother said he had wanted to bleed, but Sam didn’t want to make him bleed. He understood that it had to hurt, but he didn’t want to maim his brother. 

Cas seemed to understand the turmoil inside him, as he automatically understood everything about Sam’s thoughts, and slid comforting arms around his husband’s waist as they stood together before the open cabinet. 

“What would you do, Cas?” Sam asked immediately upon feeling the hands on his body. 

Cas thought for a moment before answering him. “If Dean had asked me to do what he’s asked you to do, I’d say no.”

That was definitely not the answer Sam was expecting. His voice was cool and unwavering, and Sam had thought he’d at least show some indecision in solidarity with Sam’s hesitation. 

Cas felt the change in Sam’s body language and pulled him in tighter. 

“But…if Jimmy had asked me to do it…I would in a heartbeat.” Cas’s posture had slumped a bit as he said that, as if his entire body didn’t like that he was admitting it. “Jimmy’s my brother. If he needs me to do something, I’ll move Heaven and Earth to do it because I know him, and if he needs something, then he needs it. I love Dean too, but I don’t know him as well. I didn’t grow up with him. He’s not my brother, so I can’t make that call for you, sweetheart. I wish I could because I know how much this is tearing you up inside…but I can’t.”

Sam didn’t respond. All of Cas’s words made sense, and knowing that Cas would do it for his brother helped a little. Sam just didn’t like how far Dean was willing to be pushed for retribution. 

“It’s ok to have boundaries as a dom too, Sam,” Cas murmured, reading his mind and seeing the anxiety there. He had to stand on his tiptoes to rest his chin on Sam’s shoulder, but he still did it. Cas smoothed his hands back and forth across Sam’s abdomen as his words sunk in. “You haven’t asked me to do anything I’m not comfortable with, so we haven’t had to have this talk, but it’s ok for a dom to tell the sub ‘no.’ You can safeword as a dom if you’re not happy with the way the scene is going. Consent is what makes sex fun.”

“This isn’t sex though,” Sam responded quietly. “This is…this is something else entirely.”

Cas was silent for a moment. He realized that Sam was going to do as his brother asked, whether he wanted to or not. It was yet another testament to how deeply Sam cared about those he loved that he’d dip into waters he was uncomfortable in to make them happy. Cas remembered how he had to punish that instinct out of him when Sam didn’t use his safewords when he needed to because he was trying to make Cas happy. It was a learning process for both of them then, and Cas knew that Sam was well aware now to stop something he didn’t like.

This though…Cas had the urge to punish Sam for not speaking up for what he wanted and saying no to something he didn’t like, but he got the feeling that it wasn’t his place to do that this time.

And so all he could do was praise and support. 

“In that case, my beautiful boy, might I recommend the light flogger? Remember how much you thought it hurt in the moment but how quickly it healed after? I think you’ll get the same effect with Dean. More pain in the moment, minimal lasting consequences.”

Sam relaxed in his arms and turned his head to kiss Cas gently in thanks. Cas squeezed his hips in answer. 

Sam and Cas discussed how they’d do it while Jimmy and Dean finished up in the bathroom. Dean was quiet as he exited the bathroom, his back, ass, and thighs glistening slightly in the overhead light. He saw the spanking bench and mounted without having to be told. 

It was almost like a solemn ritual of sorts. There wasn’t the usual kissing, licking, or touching as Cas and Jimmy went around to bench, strapping Dean’s arms, legs, and waist down. Sam watched, the light flogger held loosely in his hands. He didn’t know if Dean had seen it when he came in, his older brother had refused to even look at him. 

Sam went and got a blindfold and a simple ball gag from a drawer and went to kneel in front of his brother. Dean kept his eyes downcast which hurt Sam in ways he couldn’t explain. 

“Do you want either of these?” he offered. 

Dean finally lifted his gaze just enough to see what was in his brother’s hands, and then to nod his head towards the gag. Sam buckled it around his head carefully, making sure it was loose enough that Dean could push the ball out of his mouth if he wanted to, while Jimmy went and got one of the cat toys. 

Sam stood while Jimmy knelt in his place and explained the rules of a drop signal again, reiterating that Dean should stop it if it seriously got to be too much. Dean just stared blankly and took the sparkling ball when it was pressed into his hand. 

The twins did one more limb check to make sure his nerves or veins weren’t being pinched in a way that could cause eventual damage, and then, they took their places kneeling in front of Dean. 

Cas and Sam had talked about what the twins were going to do during the punishment, Cas had even offered for them to leave to give Dean and Sam some privacy, but Sam had requested that they stay with his brother. Jimmy had followed Cas’s lead in kneeling at the head of the spanking bench. While Cas moved to take one of Dean’s hands, the one not holding the drop signal cat toy, Jimmy cradled Dean’s face between his hands. 

Sam stood behind his brother, observing the planes of his skin and planning the layout of his blows. 

“Dean,” Sam began, “after every time I hit you, I am going to say either ‘I forgive you’ or ‘Maddie forgives you.’ I want you to reply, as best as you can with the gag in, ‘I forgive myself.’ Can you do that?”

Dean nodded, and Sam’s chest ached with the hope that bloomed there.

Jimmy pressed his lips to Dean’s forehead before drawing back to look him in the eyes while Sam laid the first blow. 

“I forgive you, Dean.”

>< >< ><

Dean’s responses were always slurred and difficult to understand, but after every blow and statement of forgiveness from Sam, something that sounded like “I forgive myself” forced its way out of Dean’s mouth. 

He’d started crying at about thirty-six, whether it was because of the pain or what the increasing number of lashes implied about the number of times John had hurt his baby brother, Sam couldn’t tell. 

A short while before that Jimmy had knelt up and guided Dean’s head into the crook of his shoulder and neck. Dean closed his eyes and pressed his face into Jimmy, his drool leaking around the gag and onto Jimmy’s shirt but neither of them caring. 

When the first sobs overtook the dam Dean had been desperately trying to fortify, Sam paused to give him a chance to shake or toss the jingly cat toy, but he did neither. Jimmy had one hand on the back of Dean’s head, one on the back of his neck, holding the sobbing boy close. Jimmy and Sam made eye contact, and Jimmy nodded once to tell Sam that he didn’t think Dean was about to break and just not saying anything. So Sam continued. 

His placement was careful and deliberate, and he was incredibly cautious about keeping the strokes light. He started off harder than he was going now because at this point, even a light tap would burn hot and painful on Dean’s bright red skin. Even with his careful strokes, Sam knew Dean would have a decent spread of bruises when he was done. 

And so they went on, Sam would bring the flogger down and alternated between saying that he or Maddie forgave Dean, Dean would either yelp or groan and writhe before forcing his response out. The time between Sam’s words and Dean’s responses was starting to get longer, and Sam knew he’d have to stop soon. 

Occasionally, after a flog over a particularly sore spot, Dean would try to arch his back as he whined wordlessly. Jimmy was holding Dean tight to his chest though and didn’t let him pull back or rise up very far. 

Both of the twins were murmuring calming words to him. Cas was stroking gentle hands down both Dean’s arms, the simple warm contact soothing Dean is ways he couldn’t describe. Jimmy had started out just holding Dean’s face and massaging his shoulders and neck, but now he’s clutching Dean close.

Each hit renewed the burning pain that was steadily growing, it almost felt as if someone had lit him on fire. Dean’s back, ass, and thighs were thoroughly and evenly swollen and stinging. An ache had actually started to settle as well, an ache that meant bruises weren’t far away. The bright red had started to darken into purple in some places, and Sam slowed his pace, further softening the blows so they were barely touch his brother’s skin. 

Still, Dean pressed his face into the perfect and soft place between Jimmy’s shoulder and neck every time the leather kissed him with pain. He was too exhausted to be embarrassed about sobbing so openly or feel bad that he was covering Jimmy’s shirt in tears, snot, and drool. 

Yes, it hurt, but every flog came with his siblings’ forgiveness. There was a perfect, euphoric moment of clarity seconds before the whip came down again where Dean could bask in reconciliation, and every time he heard Sam say that he forgave him, he forgot the pain for a moment because the relief was so powerful. 

And little by little, flog by flog, Dean started to feel the guilt abate. Like heavy clouds unleashing their burdens with torrents of rain, Dean sobbed and shook and released the tension and self-hatred for every time he let his little brother and sister down. 

Finally, after what felt like a lifetime, the blows stopped coming. 

Sam couldn’t do it anymore. The planes of his brother’s evenly tanned smooth skin were mottled red and purple. He hadn’t started to bleed anywhere, but there were raised patches of skin, more swollen and irritated than in other places. Dean was shaking too, trembling from head to toe, and the sounds he was making…Sam couldn’t…wouldn’t do anymore. His hand went limp and dropped the flogger to the ground. 

Sam blinked back tears and took a deep breath, putting on a strong face for his brother. It was over. 

He walked forward on unsteady feet, and Cas looked up to meet his gaze and give him a reassuring nod and smile. 

Jimmy, who had been holding tight and still for the better part of an hour, slowly started moving his aching limbs and rubbed Dean’s head and neck gently for a moment before pulling back. Dean let out a whine as Jimmy’s warmth left, but he stopped when Sam dropped to his knees in front of him. Jimmy pressed a kiss to Dean’s temple before standing and backing up to give Sam some room. Wordlessly, the twins unbuckled Dean’s legs, waist, and arms. 

The second Dean was free, Sam wrapped careful arms around him and helped him stand up, holding on to his brother like both their lives depended on it. Dean returned the gesture, clinging to Sam. Dean’s front pressed up against Sam was cool, but Sam could feel the heat radiating from his brother’s back on his arms. He’d stopped trembling though, which was good. Instead, Dean had a peaceful, almost meditative stillness about him. 

Sam could feel the tears, snot, and drool that had collected on Dean’s face and around the gag, so he kept one arm around Dean’s lower back but used the other to cup his face tentatively. Dean melted into the touch, and Sam could see there, under the red rimmed eyes and wet face, gratefulness and euphoric absolution. 

There was the slight jingle of the cat toy as it hit the ground, Dean had nearly crushed it in his fist because he was holding on to it so tight, determined not to safeword as Sam had been the first time the twins gave him a drop signal. Sam carefully tugged the ball gag out of his brothers mouth and let it hang around his neck. There were strings of drool attached that Sam wiped away with the back of his hand as Dean sniffled and cleared his throat. Sam reached up and smiled as he ran a hand through Dean’s hair before cradling the back of his head. He stooped to put their foreheads together and tried to channel the pure love he had for his brother through their connection.

“Maddie and I forgive you, De,” Sam whispered. 

And clearer than he’d managed before, surer than he’d ever let himself feel, happier than he’d been in a while, the corners of his mouth twitched upward as Dean responded, “I forgive myself, Sammy.”

Chapter Text

Life went back to normal after that, or rather, as normal as their lives ever were. The summer came to an end, but none of the boys were really saddened by that. The twins and Sam were eager to get back to class, and Dean was eager to keep hunting. He hadn’t been hunting all summer because he had the boys twenty-four seven, and he didn’t want to miss a single second. During the school year, they were in and out for classes and different events, so Dean was just left alone in the house. That was a more advantageous time to hunt than the summer when playtime could be any time. 

They still set aside time for each other of course, but now, they had classes and school work to contend with as well as the fact that Dean was out sometimes working nearby jobs. 

School had only been back in session about two months when Dean caught wind of a demon in Palo Alto. He didn’t know why it was there, but that didn’t matter. Any demon spelled out danger, and it worried him how close it was to his boys. 

“Dean, we can’t just hide in the house until the thing is dead,” Sam protested. “We have classes.”

Dean was guarding the front door, not letting Cas, Jimmy, or Sam through. He crossed his arms. “Sam, I’d get it if were the twins blowing off this threat, but you of all people should know just how dangerous this thing could be.”

“Yeah, could be.” Sam shifted his backpack on his shoulders. “But only if we’re it’s intended target. Demons are specific, and none of us has pissed of anyone with access to a demon as of late, so as long as we don’t make any deals, then we’ll stay off the thing’s radar entirely, and it’ll be fine.”

“You don’t know that.”

Dean wasn’t giving an inch. He finally had everything he ever wanted: a nice big house, freedom to hunt when and where he pleased, people who genuinely cared about him, and Sammy was safe and sound and out of the hunter life. There was no way in hell he’d let Sam, or any of his boys for that matter, anywhere near the demon.

Jimmy glanced at his watch anxiously. “I have class in like ten minutes, baby, I’m sorry, but we have to go.”

Cas watched Dean carefully. He was loathe to do anything that might place Sam in danger. All he could think of were the two times that he’d watched Sam walk off to class with no idea that he wouldn’t return at the end of the day. Anything could happen, and while he didn’t want to live in constant fear, he also couldn’t bear the thought of something happening to Sam or his brother because he didn’t say anything, especially when they knew there was a threat in town. 

Sam opened his mouth to argue more, but Cas put a hand on his arm and lifted his brows, daring Sam to contradict him. Sam shut his mouth and deferred to Cas.

“Class is important, but our safety is more important. Let’s give it twenty-four hours. Is there anything we can do to help you, Dean? Consider us at your disposal to catch this demon as quickly as we can,” Cas said, letting his book bag drop from his shoulder to his hand. 

Jimmy gaped at his brother. “I have a test today!”

“You can make it up later.” Cas gave Jimmy a serious look and shook his head as if to say ‘drop it.’ 

Jimmy shook his head right back. “No, I really can’t.”

Unlike Jimmy, Sam had already accepted that they weren’t going to classes that day. He trusted Cas to know what was best for him, and if Cas thought it was too dangerous to go, then they wouldn’t go. Sam supposed that he should have had a better measure of how dangerous the situation was because Cas had never dealt with a demon like he had, but regardless of Cas’s experience level, Sam trusted his judgement. 

Dean’s eyes flicked from Cas to Sam to Jimmy. He was grateful to Cas for siding with him, relieved that Sam was being compliant today and willing to stay home, and a bit miffed at Jimmy for still insisting he go to class. Dean could tell Cas was about to whip out the dom voice and stare Jimmy into submission, and while he didn’t like the idea of making choices for someone else and taking away their free will, it was the only way he could ensure they would all stay safe.

He didn’t know what he’d do if he lost any of the three boys, that was simply a reality that he refused to exist in, and he’d had so many close calls…so many times his heart had wrung itself into a ball, terrified that his world would be destroyed. He started shaking, and he struggled to breath as if someone had stolen all the air from the room.

Jimmy didn’t know how to react when Dean dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around Jimmy’s middle. He was still mad, but it was kind of cute how needy Dean was being. 

“I can’t lose you,” Dean mumbled into Jimmy’s soft shirt. 

Jimmy lowered himself to his knees so he could look Dean in the eyes. The severity of the situation finally hit him then. If Dean was this serious and this worried about them leaving, then the demon threat must be pretty bad. He knew Dean was only trying to keep them safe. 

“I can’t lose you either,” he responded, taking Dean’s hands in his. A wicked smile flickered onto his handsome features. He shifted his grip to hold both of Dean’s wrists in one hand, freeing the other to cup his chin. “Who would slobber all over my cock whenever I told him too then?”

Sam slowly raised his hand, but Cas reached over and pushed it back down. He turned to meet Sam’s gaze and murmured, “You slobber on his cock when I tell you to.”

Sam grinned and nodded emphatically. 

Dean swallowed hard and shivered as Jimmy traced the outline of his throat with a finger. Jimmy smirked but stood and helped Dean up with him. “As much as I would love to fuck this beautiful face right now, I don’t want to be on house arrest forever. Let’s catch some demon scum. Where do we start?”

Dean met Sam’s eyes as John’s words filled both of their heads. You start at the beginning.

Whenever they had a case, they always investigated where the monster came from and what it’s doing now first. Once you know where it’s been, you can predict where it will go. Sam hated how quickly his mind jumped into the role of hunter. He had spent so much time trying to ignore and erase that part of himself that it was frustrating how easily it came back. It was only for the day, he reminded himself. He only had to play hunter again for the day. Once they got it, everything could go back to normal, Dean would let them go to class, and he’d never have to play hunter again. 

Cas, Sam, and Jimmy put their backpacks back in their rooms and followed Dean to the garage where Baby was sheltered. It took all of Sam’s willpower to force himself to keep taking steps towards the vehicle. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the car, he just hated the memories of hunting with it. It didn’t help that his brain kept flashing images of his father’s furious face when he yelled at Sam while they were on the road for being hungry or not being able to sleep or needing to go to the bathroom.

Dean put his hand on the hood and looked back at Sam who had a bit of a nauseous expression on his face. 

“One more time, Sammy?” Dean asked, understanding exactly what his brother was thinking. 

Sam nodded stiffly, but couldn’t make himself get any closer. He was frozen. Cas took his hand gently and pulled him along behind him into the backseat. They let Jimmy sit in the passenger seat beside Dean.

Even though Cas was beside him and reassuringly rubbing his thigh, Sam still couldn’t bring himself to move or react. Cas buckled Sam’s seatbelt for him and wrapped his arms around the bigger boy’s shoulders, holding him close as they pulled out of the drive.

>< >< ><

Their first stop was the police station. Dean only had fake IDs and badges for himself, so he left the boys in the car while he went in posing as an off-duty fed that was in the area and wanted to help with the recent murders he’d heard about. After he collected all the information he could, he went back out to the Impala to share his findings. 

“So, apparently, there’s an abandoned factory on the other side of town right next to the road that leads up into Palo Alto Hills. People keep going missing and turning up bloody in the factory. Most of the victims told loved ones they were going hiking or walking in the area, so I don’t think the demon is targeting anyone in particular.” Dean’s voice was steady. He was in his element, listing facts that would lead them to more evidence that would get them that much closer to killing the demon. “There’s been five dead in two days, and there’s just been a man reported missing.”

“That doesn’t sound like a demon, Dean,” Sam started. “Random, rapid killings in one concentrated area seems more animalistic than calculated. How do you know it’s a demon?”

The warmth Cas was rubbing into Sam’s taut muscles had comforted him enough that he could vocalize the doubts that instantly plagued him upon hearing the details of the case. 

“Because there was one survivor who told the police that she was almost killed by a man with pitch black eyes.”

Sam and Dean stared at each other for a minute as Sam realized his brother was probably right about it being a demon then. He knew the signs of a demon, and while there weren’t many evidentiary ones present, the black eyes were a dead giveaway.

It made Sam’s heart thump a littler faster in his chest thinking about what they’d do when they caught up with the demon. Their Dad had found out a long while ago that it was a demon that had killed their mother, and ever since, he had a routine set of questions he always asked the demons he encountered to see if he could get any information about the particular demon that had destroyed his life.

Sam wondered if Dean would ask the questions for their Dad. He certainly wouldn’t because he knew how… hard you had to press to get a straight answer out of a demon. He also couldn’t help but recall the things his Dad had said to him the last time they were in the same room. He’d said that Sam was somehow one of them. He’d said that Mary’s death was his fault. Sam wondered if the demon in Palo Alto knew Sam was connected to them in some way. He wondered if it might even be here for him. Sam shuddered violently.

“What’s wrong?” Cas asked immediately, worry crinkling his brow. 

Sam swallowed hard and shook his head. “Nothing. I’m fine. Everything’s fine.”

Cas’s frown didn’t lessen any, but he didn’t press. There were times to make Sam speak his mind and times to let him keep it to himself. Cas studied Sam’s face carefully and resolved to talk to him about it later.

Sam shook his head again lightly as if trying to clear it of the malevolent thoughts, so he could focus on the task at hand. There was a woman. She’d seen the demon and lived. She had information.

“I assume we’re going to talk to that witness now?” he asked. 

Dean nodded hesitantly and looked to Cas for direction. Cas gave a slight nod to tell him it was okay to refocus on the mission. Dean turned back around, started the car, and then pulled out of the police parking lot and onto the road in the direction of the address he’d been given inside. 

No matter how hard Sam tried to dismiss the memories of his Dad and what he’d said to him that had been confirmed by Gordon who said that Sam had powers of some sort. Just because Sam didn’t know what Gordon was talking about doesn’t mean Gordon didn’t. And…and Gordon had died because of his “powers.” That was the only explanation that Sam could come up with. The others wouldn’t tell him how Gordon had died, but from what he could remember, there was a shockwave that shattered everything in a ten meter diameter around him including Gordon’s body. He had done killed Gordon without even touching him. That sounded awful demonic to him. 

“Hey, stop it.” Cas’s voice was soft but not weak. There was as much will in his voice as ever, and it was impossible for Sam not to break from his reveries and look up. 

Cas lifted an eyebrow and opened his arms. There wasn’t enough room on the floor of the Impala for Sam to sit between his legs the way he liked in the limo, but he could still curl up in Cas’s lap.

Though it was difficult for Sam to force the bad thoughts about his Dad, Gordon, and the powers he supposedly had out of his mind, he took a steadying breath and unbuckled his seatbelt before lowering himself. He lifted his feet onto the seat behind him and laid his head on Cas’s thighs. 

Sam closed his eyes, waiting for Cas’s gentle touch, but it never came. When he looked up at Cas to see why he wasn’t caressing his face or body, he saw his master was wearing a pensive expression. 

“You’re quiet,” was all Cas said. 

Sam shrugged. “I…I just…I’m scared.”

Cas finally ran one hand along Sam’s shoulder down his arm. “Scared of what?”

“Of…well, this demon hurting one of us and being a hunter again and…myself…”

Sam couldn’t help it. Before there was a demon in Palo Alto, he could pretend that the supernatural didn’t exist. He could pretend that he was far away and safe from it. But now that he had been dragged into another hunt and forced to reconcile with the fact that regardless of if he got involved or not, scary things were out there, he also had to come to terms with the fact that they might be closer than ever. That he might be one of them…he might have supernatural blood running through his veins. 

“Yourself?” Cas’s voice was soft. 

Sam just closed his eyes and angled his head towards Cas’s torso, trying to bury his face in Cas’s stomach. Cas slid a hand into Sam’s hair and increased his grip while angling his face back up, eliciting a gasp from Sam. 

Cas didn’t react, he simply put a reassuring hand on Sam’s chest, pushing down with just enough pressure to make Sam feel secure. 

“Do I look scared to you?” he asked. 

Sam studied him for a moment, the dull pain from having his hair pulled fading away. Cas looked…well, handsome for starters, but beyond that…he looked the same as he always did. Sure. He was confidant and sure, sure of himself, sure of the situation, sure of his unwavering calmness. Definitely not afraid. 

“No, Sir,” Sam responded. 

“That’s because I’m not scared.” Cas loosened his grip on Sam’s hair so he could stroke it instead of holding the submissive boy’s head still. “I would say that I have good judgement, wouldn’t you, Sam?”

Sam didn’t hesitate this time before responding, “Yes, Sir.”

“And I protect the people that I love, so I wouldn’t keep a dangerous person around my brother or Dean, would I?”

Sam shook his head, but after a stern glance from Cas, vocalized, “No, Sir.”

“I’m not scared of you, Sam. None of us are. Because there’s nothing to be afraid of. You’re not dangerous, and I know you won’t hurt us,” Cas slowly explained. 

Jimmy leaned over the back of the seat and looked at Sam fondly. “Speak for yourself, brother, Sam can hurt me any time he wants.”

Jimmy winked and bit his lip at Sam, making Cas roll his eyes. Sam laughed in spite of himself. Leave it to Jimmy to take a serious situation and make it sexual. 

Cas was exasperated at his brother, but he was smiling slightly as he looked back at Sam, continuing to stroke his hair, and asked, “Who decides what’s best for you?”

Sam smiled back. “You do, Sir.”

“And if I’m not afraid of you…”

“Then I shouldn’t be either,” Sam finished. A tightness in Sam’s chest that he hadn’t known was there unraveled and was replaced by warm contentedness. 

Cas would never tell Sam that Loki had made them promise to kill him should something go wrong and he turn bad. He’d never tell Sam because he was determined not to let him turn bad. While Jimmy was just joking about Sam hurting him, that was something he’d seriously thought about in terms of “turning bad.” He had wondered if being dominant would push Sam further into darkness, so he’d made a silent resolution to himself, one that he didn’t share with Dean or even his brother, whom he told everything to, not to let Sam be as dominant. If he wanted to do a scene here or there, Cas couldn’t just keep telling him no without an explanation as to why, but he certainly wouldn’t suggest it or even encourage it. If Jimmy was feeling particularly submissive or needed put in his place, Cas would maybe push Dean to do it instead of Sam. Anything he could do to protect his husband, he would, for the simple reason that Sam was his world. 

Sam closed his eyes again, but he didn’t try to hide his face. He just enjoyed Cas’s nimble fingers run through his hair and caress the sides of his face. 

Before he knew it though, the car rolled to a stop, and Dean shut off the engine. 

>< >< ><

The woman wasn’t much help. She was in her mid-forties and had taken up jogging to try and get back into shape. She had run on Coyote Hill a few times before, but this time, before she got very far, a man had popped out of the bushes and grabbed her. She described him as having the signature demon black eyes and a vile disposition, but she also said he had been foaming at the mouth.

The Winchester brothers didn’t know what to do with that detail. They’d never encountered what sounded like a rabid demon before. 

The woman had gotten away only because there was a crash in the trees in the distance that distracted the demon long enough for her to kick him away and sprint in the opposite direction. She was unharmed but still terrified. 

Once the boys were back in the car, Sam settled with his head in Cas’s lap again, he asked “To Coyote Hill?”

His brother nodded once and sighed. “To Coyote Hill.”

>< >< ><

There was nothing. 

The boys drove to Coyote Hill and parked. Dean told the three boys to stay in the Impala while he took a look around. He brought a machete and a vial of holy water with him, fully prepared to be jumped by the rabid demon. But there was no one. There was nothing there. No evidence that there had ever been a demon. 

Dean had gone back to the car shaking his head. He got in and closed his door a little harder than he ought to have, but he was too mad to care. 

“I don’t understand!” he shouted. “How could there be nothing? No evidence whatsoever.”

He wasn’t just mad that there was no evidence, he was mad that the demon had evaded him and now the boys were in danger longer than they had to be. 

“Maybe the demon hides out in the abandoned factory,” Sam suggested reasonably. “All the bodies were found there, so maybe the demon lives there. Maybe he only comes out to the hill when he’s hunting.”

“Hunting?” Jimmy interjected. 

“Demons usually don’t just kill to kill,” Sam explained. “They almost always want something. My guess is the demon takes the victims to the factory and somehow forces them to sign their soul over to the devil.”

“A more aggressive approach?” Dean had never heard of demons forcing people into contracts. They were always so good at making deals so sweet you couldn’t turn them down, why would they need to force people into it? It just didn’t make sense. 

Sam shrugged. “Just a theory. We should still check out the factory.”

>< >< ><

They checked out the factory all right. They checked it out and didn’t find anything besides some old blood stains and traces of sulfur. Dean again made the boys stay in the car at first, but when he came out empty handed, the others went in to make sure he hadn’t missed anything. He really hadn’t though. There was simply no one there. 

After a thorough investigation of the factory, they went back to the nearby hill to look around some more. They spread out and turned over every stone they could find to no avail. By the time they finished poking around, it was nearly three in the afternoon.

“There’s really nothing here, man,” Sam said as they got back into the car. He was still uneasy, but feeling more like himself. “Maybe the woman saw wrong. Maybe it was just a coyote that killed all those people.”

Dean nodded reluctantly. “Still, there’s one way to know for sure. Let’s hit the morgue and check out the bodies.”

“Hey!” Jimmy exclaimed with a frown. “I’m the only body you’re allowed to check out!”

Dean smirked pinched Jimmy’s cheek playfully. “Don’t be a brat. You know what I mean.”

“Don’t be a brat? That’s like telling me not to breathe.” Jimmy dramatically pretended to faint, flopping onto Dean’s lap as he was pulling onto the main road. 

“Jesus!” Dean barely managed to keep the vehicle straight on the road. There weren’t many other cars in the area, so they weren’t in danger of causing an accident, but Cas still shot Jimmy a warning look. 

Jimmy ignored him and promptly stared rubbing his cheek against Dean’s crotch. Sam grinned as he saw Dean’s jaw clench. Jimmy brought a hand up and lazily started playing with the waistband of his pants. 

“Don’t make me pull this car over,” Dean threatened. 

“Would that be such a bad thing?” Jimmy responded. He rotated his body so he had the perfect cock-sucking angle, briefly flicked his perfect, pink tongue out at the zipper on Dean’s jeans, and looked up at him. “Would it?”

Dean glanced down at his crystal clear blue eyes for a second, and that was all it took for him to put his hazards on and guide the car to the shoulder of the road. 

“Ok. You want to do this now? Go ahead, suck my cock on the side of the road. Show all these people what a beautiful whore you are.” Dean gestured out the window at the cars going by. Since Jimmy first flopped onto Dean’s lap, they had turned onto a much more busy road with many more people out and about, any of which would have a front row seat to Jimmy sucking Dean off if they knew where to look. 

Dean leaned back, resting his arms on the back of the seat nonchalantly. 

Jimmy hesitated, glancing between his brother and Dean, not sure that he wanted to be seen by everyone else on the road. 

Cas lifted his hands to show his uninvolvement. “Don’t look at me. You brought this upon yourself.” 

Sam bit his lip to keep from smiling at the bewildered expression on Jimmy’s face. 

“Well, whore?” Dean looked at Jimmy expectantly. 

Jimmy slowly reached down and undid Dean’s belt then his button and zipper. He pulled the pants and boxers down just enough to free Dean’s hardening cock. The second it was exposed, Dean’s hand shot out and snagged a fistful of Jimmy’s hair on the back of his head. Dean forced him down and pushed him all the way down in one go. Jimmy gagged lightly because his throat hadn’t been given a chance to warm up or get ready. Spit slid out of his mouth as Dean held him there for a minute before letting him come up. Jimmy inhaled deeply and coughed.

“Good boy,” Dean crooned. Jimmy grinned and opened his mouth to say something bratty no doubt, but Dean didn’t give him the chance. “Show the people what an obedient whore you are, baby.”

Jimmy’s grin fell as he suddenly became aware of the drool on his chin that was very visible to those that were looking their way. 

Dean pulled him back down and face fucked him for a solid minute, not letting him up or easing off. It wasn’t anything Jimmy hadn’t handled before, in fact, once he got acclimated, he was even able to apply suction and swirl his tongue around the base of Dean’s cock when his head was pushed the entire way down. 

Sam smiled a little at the sounds they were making. He was still lying down on Cas’s lap, so he couldn’t see over the seat, but he could sure hear them. Cas was playing with Sam’s hair with one hand and rubbing his stomach gently with the other. When he did that, it made Sam feel a bit like a an animal being pet mindlessly, but he liked it. He liked not having to think. He liked simply being and doing what Cas asked of him. 

It didn’t take long for Jimmy’s professional-level cock sucking skills to bring Dean to the edge. 

With a shudder, Dean came down his throat. A bit of cum leaked out of the side of his mouth as he was pulled off the softening dick. Jimmy blinked in a bit of a daze at being reduced to a cum receptacle and then elevated to just another passenger in the car so fast. It was enough to give any submissive whiplash. The viscous liquids on his face were being drawn by gravity downwards and were about to drip off his face and onto his shirt. Jimmy hadn’t move to lick it up or stop the drips.

Cas nudged Sam. “Why don’t you give Jimmy a little help?”

“Yes, Sir.” Sam sat up. He gently took Jimmy’s face between his hands and brought him closer. Sam kissed Jimmy softly and began licking the drool and cum off his mouth and chin. 

Dean was rubbing Jimmy’s chest in a constant circular motion, and when his brother sat back having thoroughly cleaned Jimmy’s face, Dean leaned forward to occupy Jimmy’s lips. 

He pulled back briefly to whisper what a good boy Jimmy was and how beautiful he was and how anyone that saw their depravity, as few people as it probably was, should be counting their lucky stars to have seen Jimmy in action. 

After Sam had cleaned Jimmy’s face, he immediately looked to Cas who smiled and nodded with approval. Cas opened his arms, and Sam snuggled into them.

Jimmy was smiling again when Dean finally let him go, but it was a contented sort of smile, not the kind that came right before his cuttingly sarcastic remarks. Jimmy sat back in his seat as Dean pulled onto the road once more and drove them to the morgue. 

They parked and Dean told the twins to stay in the car. They didn’t need to see dead bodies. Sam agreed as he got out to go with his brother. As reluctant as Sam was to put himself in the middle of the demon hunt, he had invaluable knowledge about supernatural causes of death and would be able to identify the different between that and a coyote kill better than his brother. 

Cas and Jimmy had wanted to go in too, but Sam and Dean had told them “no” at the same time. Their Novak twins were too pure to be inspecting dead bodies. 

When the brothers went in, they saw a woman at the front desk.

Dean made his way to the desk and held out his fake FBI badge for her to see. “Hi, I’m with the FBI. I’d like to take a look at the bodies from the factory murders.”

She nodded and typed something into her system. “Sure, I can show you to where they’re kept, but it may be redundant now. The doctor’s doing the autopsy on the guy they think killed them now.”

“Wait, they already found him? He’s dead?” Sam asked. 

She nodded. “Mmhm. A woman, a federal agent like yourself, went after him. How I heard it is he got violent, and she had to shoot him. She’s still here if you’d like to talk to her. She’s watching the doctor perform the autopsy.”

Sam and Dean exchanged glances. Another FBI agent? Was she legit? Or another hunter? If she was another hunter and the killer was indeed a demon, then how did she kill him with a bullet? 

“Yes, thank you,” Dean responded to the woman before the silence got awkward. 

She nodded and led them down the hall. She pushed open a door and held it so they could walk past her and into the room. 

There were bright lights above illuminating a shiny metal table where the naked body of a man was lain. His chest cavity was split open and there was a middle aged man inspecting the innards. 

Dean resisted the urge to puke, and Sam made a face. 

Even the doctor appeared to be grimacing at what he saw. 

The final figure in the room, the woman the receptionist had told them about, wasn’t reacting to the opened body though. Her back was to the boys until they walked in though. 

The Winchester brothers walked in and the “FBI agent,” their little sister Maddie, turned around. 

Chapter Text

Sam’s nostrils flared, and Dean stumbled a step back. 

Maddie offered a wry smile before turning back to watch the doctor lift a bloated, oozing, pitch black heart out of the dead man’s chest. She took a step closer to inspect the space where the heart used to be. It was corroded with black sludge that was putting off the slightest bit of black smoke. It was so faint that you almost couldn’t see it, but with their trained eyes, it was no problem for any of the Winchesters. 

The doctor stared in disbelief. He had no idea what was wrong with the body on his table, and he was too disgusted to be enthralled with figuring it out. Maddie took a few steps forward and dipped her fingers into the black slime. When she withdrew them, strings of the nasty stuff stretched between her warm flesh and the cold corpse. 

“Maddie…” Dean whispered. 

“What are you doing here?” Sam asked. 

She turned and raised an eyebrow in skepticism. She turned her hand so they could clearly see the inky ooze there. “ What am I doing here? Are you trying to tell me you don’t know who this is?”

It was their turn to be confused as neither had a clue who that particular demon was. 

Sam and Dean exchanged glances before looking back to their little sister. Maddie jerked her chin at the doctor and shook her head slightly to tell them that it was a supernatural matter and not safe to discuss with others.

She turned back to the doctor and gave him a forced smile. “Well, I think I’ve seen all I needed to see. He’s dead, that’s for sure. My work here is done. Thank you for all the help, have a lovely day.”

Then, she spun on her heel and slipped between her brothers and out the door. They had no choice but to follow her. Sam couldn’t help but wonder what the hell Maddie was doing in Palo Alto. The last time they’d seen her, she was in South Dakota and wanted nothing to do with them. It was a wonder she even let them find her. Both he and Dean knew for a fact that if a Winchester didn’t want to be found, there was little you could do about it. It was a wonder she’d willingly come to California, even for a demon. 

Maddie waved pleasantly to the woman at the front desk and out the door before time-wasting pleasantries could be exchanged. 

“Uh…thank you, ma’am,” Sam muttered, smiling apologetically to her as Dean rushed out behind Maddie without even looking her way. The secretary just waved him off as if it was hardly the rudest thing she’d endured. 

Once they got outside, Maddie finally crossed her arms over her chest and turned to face the boys. 

“You know it was a demon that killed your Mother, right?”

Of all the things she could have said, that was something they wouldn’t have expected in a million years. Sam honestly thought he would have been less surprised if she’d turned into a demon herself or suddenly did a flip in the air. 

Dean looked at his little brother slowly. Dean remembered their Mom more than Sam, but they both felt the aching pain of her loss the same. They knew full well that a demon killed her. Their father had spent so much time trying to hunt it down, it would have been impossible for the boys to not know about it. But what did Maddie know about it?

“Yeah?” Dean prompted. 

Maddie jerked a thumb over her shoulder with an impassive expression. “That was him.”

Sam almost fell to his knees, but Dean was hardly in a state to keep him upright. Luckily, the twins had seen the trio come out of the building and rushed out. Cas went to Sam immediately and Jimmy to Dean, both confused why their Winchester pair was so shocked. It took them a minute to recognise Maddie, but when they did, they had a similar reaction to her presence that Sam and Dean had to the news that she’d killed the demon that had killed their mother.

The reason they didn’t immediately recognise her might have had something to do with the fact that she looked nothing like she did the first time they met her. When they met her in Bobby’s house, she was covered in blood and was wearing ratty clothes. Now, her hair was neatly swept upward in a tidy braid that curled itself into a bun at the nape of her neck, and she was wearing a sleek black dress that only went down to mid-thigh with simple, shiny, black heels. She’d used some kind of body paint cream to cover the scars all over her arms and legs because while the texture of the scars could be seen if you got close enough, they were one uniform flesh tone all over. 

She was gorgeous and put together and well composed. 

Sam couldn’t get enough air into his lungs. He was breathing so fast, but it wasn’t helping. He’d been toted around for years and mistreated by his father for so long because of that demon inside the morgue. That demon had been the reason John started drinking. He was the reason John became a hunter. He was the reason John became such a dick to his two boys. And the demon was dead. Just like that. 

Dean couldn’t believe it any more than Sam could. He’d seen what the demon had done to their mother and their house. He’d felt the sharp pain of her loss more acutely than anyone could understand. He’d always imagined that one day he’d hunt down that demon and be able to look in it’s eyes as the life left them, and then he’d know that he set everything right. He’d put off so many things, ignored so much of what he wanted, so he could hunt. He’d given up so much…and here was his lifelong goal…achieved by someone else before he could get there. He wasn’t mad though. It sucked that he didn’t get to do it himself, but he was just happy that it was done. 

Silent tears slipped down Dean’s face as Jimmy held him tight. 

Cas had his arms around Sam, who wasn’t crying but shaking and breathing shallowly. Fierce determination alit Cas’s features as he wheeled on Maddie. 

“What did you say to them?” he demanded. 

She’d upset his boys, and he was mad. 

Maddie slid her gaze from Dean’s face to Cas lazily. “The demon I assume you’ve all been hunting is in there.”

Jimmy’s brow furrowed, not understanding why Sam and Dean were responding the way they were if the demon had been apprehended. That meant their lives could go back to normal. 

Cas was completely disarmed. He didn’t know what to respond. He opened and closed his mouth several times before deciding on asking, “So why are the boys upset?”

Maddie paused and looked to both Sam and Dean before responding. It was almost as if she was seeking permission to tell Cas. Dean finally caught on and gave her a slight nod. 

“Their mother was killed by a demon,” Maddie explained. “The same demon that I shot and killed this morning and being autopsied right now.”

Shock registered on the twins’ features.

“You mean…” Cas pulled back a bit to look Sam in the face. Sam nodded quietly. He believed her. 

“How…you shot him. You can’t kill a demon with a gun!” Dean protested. 

“You can if you use the right one,” she retorted. Maddie sauntered over to her motorcycle that they hadn’t noticed parked next to the building and pulls out an ancient looking revolver. The barrel was long and there was a warding symbol carved into the wooden grip. She brought it over to the boys and held it up so they could study it. “This is the colt…the only gun capable of killing demons. Samuel Colt made it in 1835 to kill vampires, but it they aren’t the only thing it works on. Dad knew it existed but not where it was. I just found it last week on old Danny Elkins and nicked it from him.”

The boys were silent as they processed what she was telling them. Sam met her eyes and saw something there, something sparkling and dangerous but comforting and knowing too, as if she was peering into his soul, seeing his deepest fears, and commiserating with them. She shrugged. 

“How did you find the demon, and how do you know he’s the one that killed Mom?” Dean demanded. 

“Because he likes to follow Sam around,” Maddie responded. 

Cas’s head whipped in her direction, possessiveness rippling off him. “What?”

Maddie crossed her arms and sighed. “He did something to Sam when he was a baby, and ever since he’s been keeping tabs and waiting.”

Dean opened his mouth, but nothing came out because the words got caught behind the lump in his throat. 

“Waiting for what?” Jimmy asked for him.

“For the powers to appear.” The way she said it was so nonchalant as if it was no big deal, as if that wasn’t the last thing Sam had heard their Dad talk about before he died, as if that wasn’t the very reason he’d been kidnapped twice. “So?”

“‘So?’ So what?” Sam snapped. 

“ Have they appeared?” 

The four boys froze and turned to look at her with various shocked expressions. Cas gave her a stern glare the way a mother looks at their kid after letting a family secret slip in front of strangers. Cas didn’t want Sam to worry about the demon stuff at all much less start thinking he had some strange mythical powers. 

“No! Of course, they haven’t! Because whatever you think that demon did to Sammy, he…he didn’t,” Dean replied. “There are no powers!”

Dean, Jimmy, and Cas seemed to close rank around Sam, but Maddie remained unphased. 

“Yes, there are,” she said simply. 

“And how do you know?” Cas asked. 

“Because I’m part of the group of psychic kids that came after yours, and my powers manifested a year ago.” 

>< >< ><

The boys were too stunned to speak. Sam choked on his next inhale and pushed his husband and brother aside to get closer to Maddie. 

“A-are you serious?” He reached out to place hands on her shoulders but stopped himself, remembering how much she hated being touched. “What…what are your powers?”

Maddie bit the inside of her cheek and raised her chin. “Electromagnetic ergokinesis.”

“Electro what?” Dean asked. 

“Are you like a superhero?” Jimmy added excitedly. Cas nudged his arm roughly to tell him to knock it off. Sam just gaped at her. 

Maddie glanced behind her to make sure there was no one coming that could overhear her. “Electromagnetic ergokinesis. I can control magnetic fields and like energy waves and stuff. And, no, I’m not a superhero. I don’t even use the powers. They’re just kind of there.”

“You’re a demon!” Dean exclaimed. 

“No, the dead demon in there just did something to me when I was a baby, the same thing he did to Sam, I presume, and now I can do things that I can’t explain. If he hasn’t already, Sam will start to do things he can’t explain, and he won’t be a demon then either.” Maddie put her hands on her hips defensively. 

She’d gone through a period of self-hatred after her powers manifested, but she’d managed to control the powers, and once her fear of them disappeared, she was able to simply live with them. Dean looked at his little brother, worry wrinkling his handsome features. He didn’t want anything bad to happen to Sammy. He’d spent too much time protecting him to fail now. His mouth was so dry he couldn’t speak. 

Cas could though. “When? When do you think Sam’s powers will appear?”

Sam looked at Cas with betrayal in his eyes. Cas didn’t look at Sam. It was one thing for a drunk John Winchester to be telling Sam he was a monster, it was a complete other for Sam and Dean’s little sister to say that it was a real thing that had already happened to her. 

She shrugged and shook her head. “I don’t know. I don’t know exactly what the demon did to us either, but I know that he wanted us for something. He’s dead now though, so…”

“So what?” Jimmy asked, unable to bear the torture of not knowing for another second. 

“So Sam’s powers might never manifest.”

Maddie’s voice was like a divine balm to their souls as they heard that Sam might never develop powers like they’d been told. Sam’s legs shook and then gave out. Dean just managed to grab him before his knees slammed into concrete despite the tears that were welling up in his own eyes. 

It was all Cas could do to hold back his tears of relief. He hadn’t even realized how worried he’d been about Sam and the possibility that he should develop some power that would make him turn evil. That was what Loki the trickster had forced them to promise, that if Sam ever went “dark-side,” they’d kill him, and Cas knew that none of them would ever be able to kill Sam even if they wanted to. He knew the others felt the same. Sam was too precious to them. Out of the bunch, he was pure, he was perfect, he was loving and forgiving and a million good things all wrapped up into one beautiful, strong, smart man. 

It was those smarts kicking in that had him pushing through the near blinding relief and choking out, “Aren’t brain waves electromagnetic?” 

His voice was soft and uneven, as if he didn’t actually want the answer to the question he just asked, but couldn’t help but ask it. Dean gave him a ‘why the heck do you know that?’ look.

“Yes,” Maddied replied. Sam squinted and tilted his head at her, another question on the tip of his tongue. She pursed her lips and answered it before he had a chance to ask. “And…yes.”

It took a moment for the other boys to understand what she was saying yes to that second time. You could almost see the realization and horror hit Dean. Cas figured it out not long after, but he immediately went to Sam and tugged him closer. Jimmy still didn’t understand, his head whipped between his boyfriends and Maddie as he tried to figure it out. 

Dean let Cas take over making sure Sam stayed upright and instead went to stand slightly in front of Jimmy protectively. Jimmy was confused but understood that Dean was trying to protect him from something, so he didn’t push his way out in front. He just slipped one hand into Dean’s and pressed his chest against part of Dean’s back and his shoulder. 

“Ergokinesis is a psychic ability,” Dean told Jimmy softly.

“I know that ,” he replied, a little annoyed at the assumption he wouldn’t know what -kinesis means. 

Dean continued as if Jimmy hadn’t spoken at all. “Well, someone with ergokinesis can control energy, like electricity and heat and stuff. And Maddie can apparently control electromagnetic energy which is the same stuff that powers brains.”

Jimmy suddenly understood. His grip on Dean’s hand tightened. They were saying that she could control brain waves. That was beyond dangerous. 

“I’m pretty sure electromagnetism also influences gravity and Earth’s magnetic field protects it from space,” Sam added. 

Maddie rolled her eyes at the boys’ frightened expressions. “Could I send the Earth hurtling into outer space or even the sun? Yes. But why the fuck would I want to do that? I live here too you know. What happens to the rest of the earth happens to me too.”

They watched her with wide eyes. She paused to see if they were satisfied that she wasn’t going to hurt them. They weren’t.

“You might not do something that would endanger yourself like messing with Earth’s rotation or whatever, but you can still mess with people’s minds. Who knows? You might be messing with our minds right now!” Dean exclaimed. He took a step back, forcing Jimmy back with him. 

Maddie didn’t react though. Even though they were looking at her like she was a freak, she didn’t give them the satisfaction of responding like one. They were only afraid because they didn’t want her to hurt anyone, that was more than understandable. 

She shook her head calmly, a motion that greatly resembled a school teacher gently rejecting a student’s answer. 

“In order to influence a person’s thoughts, I have to spend a lot of time in their head. Everyone’s different, so I need to understand their individual brain pattern and the electromagnetic waves there before I can do anything to change them, and that takes like hours. And even then, when I do influence them, it’s more like planting a suggestion. They’ve still got their own electromagnetic waves that I don’t influence, and they’re more than capable of overriding what I put there. So, no, I’m not messing with any of your minds.”

Sam narrowed his hazel green eyes. “How do you know?”

Maddie raised a single, perfectly sculpted eyebrow. “Know what?”

“All of that.” Sam fluttered a hand in the air. “ Have you…‘influenced’ someone?”

She was still for a moment. “It took me a while to figure out what my powers even were. I had nightmares about the yellow-eyed demon for months before I realized that I could do shit with energy. The first time I influenced someone it was an accident. It was Dad actually. I spent so much time with him that I just sort of knew how his brain worked already. He told me about a mission across the country and wanted me to go with him. I told him to do it himself, and he did. Just like that. No argument, no fuss, and after, he couldn’t even remember why he didn’t make me go with him. Then, I realized that it was my demon mojo. I tried to influence other people after that, but it never worked. Except for this one guy. He was a real idiot, not much in the way of brain activity. I was staking out the forest behind a park, and he would not leave. We sat near each other for hours, and I eventually wormed my way into his brain enough to make him leave.”

A car pulled into the parking lot and the group had to move so they weren’t hit. They made their way closer to the Impala, and Maddie seemed to come to her senses upon seeing it. She shivered and folded her arms. 

“Anyway, it was fun catching up. I hope Sam never develops those powers. Look me up if they do though, I might be able to help. I wish I could say ‘I’ll see you around,’ but unless you need me, I really won’t.” She turned and started for her motorcycle which was parked on the opposite side of the parking lot. 

Cas watched her walk away, her black heels clicking authoritatively on the ground. Her hair swished slightly from side to side and her hips swayed hypnotically. She was beyond attractive…she was bewitching.

“Wait!” Sam called out. 

Maddie didn’t turn around, but she did pause and lift her chin to glance over her shoulder. 

“Dinner.” He shoved his hands in his pockets self-consciously. “Please. It’s getting late, you have to be hungry. Come to dinner with us, and then you never have to see us again. U-unless you want to.”

“Why?” she asked faintly. 

Sam looked to Cas, unsure how to answer that question. Cas put a warm hand on Sam’s back and responded for him, “I believe your brothers simply want to get to know you, Maddie.”

She finally turned all the way around with a little amused smile playing about her lips as she stared Cas down with those impishly glimmering eyes. “You sure it’s just them?”

Cas’s heart skipped a beat, and he swallowed hard as he prayed no one noticed his quickened breathing. Dean squeezed Jimmy’s hand and took a step to the side so he wasn’t blocking Jimmy as much. Jimmy gave him an appreciative glance and squeezed back. 

Maddie slid her tongue across her front teeth, pondering the proposal and weighing her hunger. After a moment she sighed. “Fine. Dinner. But then I’m gone.”

Sam nodded enthusiastically, and even Dean let himself bask in the hope fluttering in his chest. 

Maddie turned away from them again.

“Wait, where are you going?” Jimmy asked. She’d agreed to come eat with them, so why did it seem like she was about to turn tail and flee the state?

She jerked her thumb in the direction of her Harley. “Can’t just leave my stuff. Text me the address. I’ll meet you there.”

Bobby had texted the boys her phone number a few days after they left South Dakota in case they ever needed to call her, but he had warned them that she probably wouldn’t respond because he’d also given her their phone numbers a long time ago, so she would recognise them. And if she didn’t want to talk, she they couldn’t make her. 

The group of boys exchanged glances. They didn’t want to scare her off by refusing to let her drive herself to the restaurant, but they didn’t trust that this wasn’t just her pretending she’d go with them when in actuality the second they turn their backs, she’ll drive off and disappear like last time. 

Cas wanted to trust her. Even though she was flighty, she never made an attempt at hiding it. The last time they’d seen her, she’d been unhappy with them and she’d told them, loud and proud. He believed if she was going to bolt, she’d have already told them. 

Dean was thinking the exact opposite. He knew his Dad and he knew himself. Sammy was different, but besides him, the Winchesters had a habit of saying one thing and meaning another, for better or worse. He didn’t trust that Maddie would even read the text before hitting the nearest highway. Regardless of what she just confessed to them, maybe because of it, he didn’t believe she would stick around. 

Jimmy wanted to believe her. He was a trusting person who believed in an honest world. He wasn’t so stupid to forget that people lie though. He wanted Maddie to go with them because he, for some inexplicable reason, felt responsible for her. She was broken and bleeding when they first met her, and she didn’t let that slow her down one bit, but it ground him to a halt. She was just one of many people risking their lives daily for the safety of others, and he wanted to do everything in his power to support her in return. He also wanted to see the Winchester brothers happy. He saw how torn up Dean got when he faced what he believed were his shortcomings, so sitting down and having an open conversation with Maddie would be good for him, and Sam too. 

Sam was relieved to have found Maddie again. When she stormed out on them all those months ago, he honestly thought they’d never see her again. He just wanted to make sure she was ok. He had always had a big heart, and if he was honest with himself, she fascinated him. He imagined it was similar to how he fascinated Cas in the way that he survived despite all the odds. Maddie’s odds weren’t necessarily worse than his or Dean’s, but they were certainly different, and he wanted to understand them. And, for reasons he couldn’t explain, he just liked hearing her talk. Maybe it was the casual confidence he wished he had, maybe it was the way she freely acknowledged her past without letting it affect her, or maybe it was part of his more submissive, calmer side that could listen to someone tell exciting stories for hours. At any rate, he believed her. She had that stillness in her eyes that told him she’d be exactly where she promised she would. His trust in people had hurt him before, but he had a feeling about Maddie…it was an indescribable sort of knowing that she wouldn’t lie to him. 

Cas and Sam headed for the car, and Jimmy tugged on Dean to follow them, but Dean wouldn’t budge. He stood staring at Maddie with a hard expression. The twins and Sam had spent nearly a year now breaking down his walls and getting him to realize that he could rely on other people, but Maddie wasn’t them. 

Maddie quirked an eyebrow at Dean. 

He forced himself to relax his jaw. “How do we know you’re not just going to skip town?”

“I don’t know, maybe a little faith?” 

“Faith?” Dean scoffed. “Look, Maddie, I really want to get to know you. I want to be the big brother for you that I never could before. Too many people have promised to show up for me and then left, so forgive me if it’s a little hard for me to go on faith alone.”

Maddie was silent for a minute. She knew exactly what Dean was talking about. They’d both been let down too many times to count. She looked at Sam and the twins over Dean’s shoulder. They were all so eager, and she had no reason to bail on them. 

She sighed and slipped a hand into her pocket. When she withdrew her hand, the boys could see a golden chain dangling from her fingers. The chain was laced between her fingers while she let the pendant drop so they could see that it was a pair of tiny golden wings. 

“If there are demons in this world…I…there have to be angels too.” Dean opened his mouth to protest that he’d never encountered one, but Maddie beat him to it. “I know no one has ever seen one…but…but I have to believe that there’s as much good in this world as there is evil or else we’re all fucked, and there’s nothing us hunters can do to fix it.” Maddie paused and gathered the pendant and golden chain in her palm, studying it carefully. “I found this on a hunt once. Still don’t know where it came from, but Dad never found out that I had it, so it was kind of like a little secret good luck charm. I don’t go anywhere without it.” She extended her hand and dropped the chain and pendant into Dean’s hand. They both watched it pool into a little golden pile, and Dean looked up at Maddie with newfound wonder. She bit her lip and looked away. “You can give it back to me at the restaurant, ok?” 

It was a guarantee that she’d go wherever they told her because she had to get the necklace back. It was her placing trust in them now instead of the other way around, and with quiet confidence and ease with which she controlled the situation, it was almost as if she were the older sibling instead of him.

Chapter Text

Maddie followed the directions Sam sent her and met up with them at the restaurant just as she promised she would. 

Cas led the way in while Jimmy kept an eye on their boys and Maddie. He was especially watching out for Maddie in the event that she panicked or balked at going into such an expensive restaurant.

The first time they treated Sam to a place like this, he’d almost thrown up with the nerves of being in such an unfamiliar place. He and Dean had grown up on cheap diner food, so the intricacies of the gourmet place baffled both of them. 

Maddie didn’t have stories about diners though. There were times when their Dad took the boys into diners during the breaks of their long road trips while Maddie was in the trunk of the Impala. He’d always find an excuse to go out to the car and drop canned corn or peas or soup into the trunk for her, but then he’d shut her in again. 

She was so small, that it was never any trouble getting her to fit in the trunk to lie on top of the false bottom. The main issue was that it got hot in the black car with hardly a crack to let air in. Maddie had suffered several heat strokes in her life, and she’d developed claustrophobia as a result of the hours being stuck in the trunk with no way out. 

Maddie had been wearing an expensive looking dress when they found her earlier that day. She’d been posing as some sort of authority in order to get information on the hunt she was on and had certainly looked the part. The black dress clung to her hips and accentuated what curves she did have. It was up to the dress code of the restaurant the twins had chosen, but that didn’t mean she would be at ease inside. It was one thing to steal a nice dress, but another entirely to play the part.

Needless to say, none of the boys expected her to be comfortable in a five michelin star restaurant much less maintain that cool, confidant swagger, but when they walked in and their maitre d’ had a thick French accent, Maddie greeted him cordially in flawless French, not an inch of unease on her. 

“Bonsoir, Monsieur. Comment allez-vous?”

“Ah, enchanté, Mademoiselle! Je vais bien!” the man responded, impressed and delighted to talk to someone who spoke his first language. Because he didn’t want to exclude or upset the two VIPs that didn’t speak French, he continued in English with that thick accent of his. “You are from France?”

Maddie took the cue and obliged to proceed with English in a warm, polite tone. “No, I just have a proclivity for languages, and French is beautiful.”

“Almost as beautiful as you, Miss.” The maitre d’ smiled charmingly as they finally reached the booth.

Maddie let a gentle blush rise to her cheeks and dipped her head gracefully at the complement. The boys gaped at the elegant young woman before them. She was nothing like the wary scrap of a thing that sewed herself up on Bobby’s couch nearly three months before. Instead of aloof cynicism, she was all gracious amity as the moderately good looking maitre d’ gazed at her with admiration in his eyes. 

“Aaand that’s enough of that,” Dean interrupted, putting himself in between the French man and Maddie. “Thank you.”

It was a clear dismissal, and the maitre d’ didn’t protest though he was clearly fighting a look of disappointment. He simply nodded and took his leave back to the front of the restaurant. Maddie looked at Dean though with annoyance and curiosity. 

It was a classic older brother move, chasing away a boy that showed interest in the little sister, but Maddie had never experienced someone caring about who she chose to interact with. It was the first time anyone gave a shit about what she did in a long while.

The closest thing that came close to it was the way their Dad kept a close eye on her to make sure she didn’t signal or message anyone secretly for help. He liked to monitor who she talked to just to make sure she didn’t have plans of escaping his grasp, and he only cared what she did when it wasn’t what he wanted her to do. 

She didn’t say anything though, instead sitting down and sliding her way into the booth smoothly. The others followed suit, still staring at her with baffled expressions. 

The menus were already sitting on the table, one for each person, so they picked them up to look at. 

Sam and Dean shared a nervous look that wasn’t lost on either Jimmy or Cas. While they’d started to get used to fancy foods because of the personal chefs that the Novaks employed, they still didn’t know what any of them were called or could say with definitive conviction that they wanted them. Luckily, Cas knew Sam and Dean’s tastes so well that he was able to order for them. 

When the waitress came, Cas ordered table entrées for all five and then main courses for himself, Jimmy, Sam, and Dean, all three of which gave him grateful smiles as they handed their menus over to be added to the pile. The polite waitress turned to Maddie, and Cas had a flash moment of panic remembering that Maddie would probably need help too. She looked and acted so much like she belonged that he forgot that she probably had no more of an idea of what the menu items were than her two brothers did. 

Cas was just opening his mouth to ask her what type of foods she liked when Maddie gave the waitress a warm smile and closed her menu. 

“I’ll have the Fresno steak au poivre with asparagus meuniere,” Maddie said handing over the menu. 

“Excellent selection,” the woman responded. “Can I get a wine for the table?”

Jimmy and Cas exchanged a glance before looking to Sam and Dean. Sam and Dean were again out of their depth, having only had cheap drinks all their life. The only times they had wine was when they were on a job, undercover at some fancy function where it would look out of place if they didn’t have a glass or two. Jimmy and Cas didn’t know what kind their boyfriends would like, it was one of the few topics they hadn’t talked about in their first year of knowing each other. 

Maddie watched the hesitation unfold as Sam’s breathing picked up and Dean clenched his fists. Her brothers were feeling inferior. Cas put a reassuring hand on Sam’s thigh, a bit higher than he ought to have given the polite company they kept, but he didn’t know what to do either. Jimmy didn’t have a pension for wine, he never really took the time to distinguish between the flavors as his parents and older brother did. Picking a wine for the table seemed like an impossible feat. 

The woman waited patiently as the uncomfortable silence began to grow. The boys weren’t going to do anything, so Maddie grabbed the bull by the horns. 

“I think a Cabernet Sauvignon for this evening.”

“We have a 1982, a 1987, a 1994, and a 2000,” the waitress told her, speaking entirely to Maddie now. 

“The 1987, thank you.”

The boys were now staring at Maddie openly, not caring about manners when her assertive mastery of expensive cuisine was so confounding. 

“An excellent year for an excellent wine.” The waitress squared the menus in her hands with a polite smile to the table. “The wine will be out in a short moment and the entrées not long after that.”

Maddie smiled again, the same gracious smile she gave the maitre d’, and watched the waitress leave. Maddie reached up and swept all her hair onto one shoulder absentmindedly, stroking her fingers through it delicately before letting her gaze wonder to her dining companions. 

They were still in shock at how she managed to handle herself ordering. There was something inexplicable in Dean and Sam’s expressions, something akin to betrayal. They’d thought she was exactly the same as them, but clearly, she had some experience that they didn’t.

“I thought you grew up on Spaghetti-Os and tap water…” Jimmy started. He was especially baffled because while he was raised in the top one percent, it seemed like she knew more about wines than he did. There was no wine list anywhere in the restaurant, so he’d have no clue what kind of wine to ask for or have a basis for what year to choose. 

“I did.” Maddie nodded, that laziness slipping back into her posture and gaze. She didn’t completely drop her shoulders, something that would immediately identify her as not belonging, but they slumped just enough to give her muscles some relief. Her eyes had gone completely dull though, there was nothing left of that warm politeness she showed the staff. 

“So why…how…” Sam stuttered. 

Maddie rolled her eyes. “What did you think I meant when I told you my only income is theft? That I pickpocket poor old ladies? That I take the earnings from open guitar cases of homeless performers? I’m not an asshole. The big marks are in places like this, and they can afford to lose a diamond cufflink or two.”

After saying that, Maddie made a hand flourish and opened her palm to show the boys the sparkling golden cufflink that did indeed have a diamond for an inset member. 

“Where did you get that?” Dean asked, disapproval on his face. 

Maddie tilted her head in the direction of a couple sitting at a table for two along the route they took to get to their booth. The portly, grey-haired man that looked remarkably like the Monopoly man had no idea that one of his cufflinks was missing. 

“Maddie!” Sam exclaimed. 

“Why-” Cas cut himself off before finishing the question. Of course he knew why she stole in general, but he had thought she understood that they’d be paying for the meal. He kicked himself at assuming she would know given how Sam and Dean didn’t know either at first. 

As Cas’s confusion dissipated, he just barely stopped himself from reaching out to put his hand on hers. 

“You don’t have to worry about money right now. We’ll pay for the food,” he told her, gesturing to himself and Jimmy. 

“Oh, I know that. I’m certainly not paying for five people at a restaurant like this. Where would I even pawn this for the cash to do so? If they even take cash here, that is. I’m willing to put it at eighty-twenty they don’t take anything other than card. At any rate, I know they won’t accept the barter system,” Maddie explained. 

“So if you don’t need it now…why…?” Cas was even more confused at her words. She was willing to let the boys treat her, but she still stole the expensive adornment. 

“Opportunity. I don’t like to steal…” Maddie paused, reconsidering her words. “Ok, well, I don’t actually mind it, but I only take what I need. And I do it when I can. Who knows when the next time I’ll have a barrel of fish like this to shoot at will be?” She waved a hand at the wealthy patrons around them before picking up the piece between two fingers and holding it up so the light made it shimmer. “This could last me months, and Mr. Monopoly over there wouldn’t notice it’s gone until he gets home to his mansion into his thousand square foot bedroom where his personal attendants undress him for his royal bath and go to add his gold and diamond cufflinks to the Diamonds ‘R’ Us billion dollar Twelve Precious Stones of Christmas cufflink set only to find that one of the oh-so-insignificant crumbs of his wealth is missing.”

There was a moment of silence around the table. They couldn’t argue with her logic. It made sense for anyone in her position. They were surrounded by people who could afford to lose a couple thousand dollars, and Maddie’s lifestyle made stealing an unfortunate necessity. It was a horrifyingly, blatantly true fact that while Maddie was only looking out for herself, she was going about it in the best way possible. 

“That was poetic,” Jimmy finally remarked with an amused grin on his face. He absolutely delighted in having someone else around that had the same penchant for antics as he did. He was getting tired of being around the obedient Sam, the accepting Dean, and the righteous Castiel. Sure, they all had fun together, but bearing the burden of being the only one misbehaving was hard sometimes, so he delighted in the little story she made up to mock “Mr. Monopoly.”

Cas gave Jimmy a withering glare. 

Maddie’s method of funding her survival was the absolute best method she could have chosen in her circumstances - it had the most gain paired with the least loss - but it was still illegal and morally wrong. It had bothered Cas ever since they found out that she had to steal to feed herself. He wasn’t so religious to believe a higher power would punish her, but he didn’t think anything good could come out of spending your life being a regular perpetrator of crime. 

“Give it back, Maddie.” Cas’s voice was quiet when he spoke. 

She froze and raised a single eyebrow in challenge as she angled her head to face Cas. 

Telling Maddie what to do didn’t go so well last time, and from the tension rising it the air, it wasn’t going to go any better this time. Cas scrambled for incentive. 

“Listen, I’ll…if you give it back to him, I’ll give you double the amount of money that cufflink is worth, ok?”

A smile flickered to Maddie’s lips. “Or I could just go take the other one too.”

Cas could smack himself. Somehow, it hadn’t crossed his mind that doubling the worth of one was just the price of the pair. 

“Ok, I’ll triple it. I’ll quadruple it. I’ll give you whatever you want, just…please.”

He didn’t have anything else. There wasn’t exactly a reason he could pinpoint as to why he didn’t want her stealing without scaring her off. He could tell her they wanted to help her or that she’d never want for anything if she came to live with them or that for reasons that eluded even him, he wanted her to rely on him, but anyone of those answers would have sent her storming out of the restaurant, and more than anything, at that moment, Cas wanted her to be able to relax and have a nice meal. 

Maddie’s eyes were narrowed as she pondered his offer. “I want fifteen thousand dollars, and…you have to suck off my dog Marshmallow.”

Cas recoiled, visibly disgusted. Maddie had kept her voice low so none of the other patrons around them had any idea what they were talking about, and Cas followed suit with a sort of whisper-shout. “What?! No!”

Sam’s eyes went wide, and he laid his hand over Cas’s on his thigh, squeezing tightly.

Maddie just shrugged. “Then it’s settled. I’m going to steal the other cufflink now.”

She moved to stand up, but Cas flung out a hand to stop her. “No. Wait.”

“Bestiality?!” Jimmy whispered almost to himself. That was one of the few things he and his brother hadn’t ever tried, and there were several good reasons as to why they didn’t.

“That’s unfair,” Cas argued. Wanting him to give a blowjob to a dog so she’d return something she stole? That wasn’t an equal exchange rate by any means. 

Maddie squared her shoulders in the same way she did when she was about to get combative. “No, you know what’s unfair? You four trying to tell me what to do, you four coming into my life and thinking you have some sort of say in what I do, you trying to put me on the straight and narrow. Guess what? It’s not going to happen. This is my life and I’m going to do what I’m going to do. I have no obligation to listen to you or let you be involved at all.”

It was clear now that her demands weren’t meant to be taken seriously. She didn’t expect Cas to do it at all, she was just proving her point. Cas was a sucker for a sob story though. He needed to help her. Cas didn’t want to let her win. None of the boys did, but she was just too combative to let them help her for nothing. She’d extended an olive branch though. She would do as he asked if he did as she asked…

The boys hadn’t met her dog yet, but with a name like Marshmallow, how big could it be? 

“If you give that cufflink back right now and agree to come stay with us for the weekend, then I’ll give you the fifteen thousand and suck off Marshmallow.”

Surprise flashed across her features that he’d actually agreed to it, but it was gone as fast as it had appeared. 

“Done,” Maddie responded, almost too quickly. A devilish smile rose to her face, almost as if she knew he’d regret making a deal with her. 

“Cas!” Sam exclaimed. 

Maddie slipped out of her seat, bringing her cloth napkin and the diamond studded cufflink in her fist. She walked over to a waiter and asked for a replacement napkin, saying that hers had fallen on the ground. He took it with a smile and went to fetch a new one. Once she had it, she started back towards them, only to stop beside Mr. Monopoly man’s table and pretend to pick something up off the ground. She handed him the cufflink, expressing that she just saw it on the floor, and he took it gratefully. 

While she did that, the boys were busy staring at Cas like he’d gone insane. 

Jimmy couldn’t believe what he’d just heard his brother agree to. “Are you serious? A…a dog?”

“Yeah, dog penises aren’t like human’s. They have this knot thing that’s like…big,” Dean said. 

“And dogs don’t really know how safewords work.” Having experienced his fair share of consensual and non-consensual sex, Sam knew the importance of being able to stop when you need to. “We might not be able to get him to stop if he gets going. He could trap you underneath him.”

Cas shrugged. “Come on, he’s named Marshmallow. He’s probably just a chihuahua or a pomeranian or something.”

“He’s a rottweiler,” Maddie informed them, patting Cas’s back as she passed him, a gesture that didn’t bring even a bit of comfort as she slid into her seat. 

Jimmy choked on the sip of water he’d just taken, barely keeping it in his mouth.

The waitress made it to their table at that exact moment to give them their bottle of wine and the entrées that Cas ordered. And just like that, Maddie’s genteel facade was back up, smiling at the woman like a philanthropic rich person. 

It took Cas a whole minute wrap his mind around the fact that Marshmallow was, in fact, a large dog before he realized that Maddie had just initiated physical contact. She’d patted his back…

After the waitress had gone back to the kitchen and the wine had been poured, Maddie picked up her glass and stared into the dark maroon liquid pensively. “You know, I have to ask. Why?”

“Why what?” Dean asked.

Maddie’s stunning green eyes flicked up at Cas. “Why do you care what I do? You know he could have spared that little drop in the bucket, so why did you care if I took it from him?”

Cas was silent for a long time. Sam was just about to step in to defend him when Cas swallowed hard. 

“Because you shouldn’t have to.” He looked down, tears welling in both his and Jimmy’s eyes as they went through identical thought processes. You’d think they’d be used to the idea of John Winchester screwing over his kids, but it was the opposite. Sam reached over under the table and took Cas’s shaking hands which helped a little. “You shouldn’t have to constantly be thinking about where your next meal is going to come from. And I know you don’t want our help. I know you are very capable of making your own way through the world. I know that if we had never met, you’d keep going stealing and hunting and saving people’s lives indefinitely. But we did meet…and no one should have to live like that and when my family has enough money to support you too…it’s not charity, Maddie, it’s just…I have to try.”

Jimmy nodded. “It’s like milk in cereal. You don’t need it to eat the cereal, but it makes everything better.”

Maddie listened and watched intently. These boys had no reason to care for her, and yet…simply because they could , they wanted to. She had no doubt it would be nice to spend a few nights in an expensive house. She just didn’t want to get used to it. Because she was a hunter first and foremost. That was what she was and would always be, and hunters didn’t have nice houses. 

They kept pleasant conversation as they ate, or rather, as pleasant as two hunters and three college students could muster. They avoided any more talk of the agreed upon bestiality, at least.

Maddie and Dean discovered an interest in exchanging stories about different hunts they’d been on, carefully skirting around John’s involvement in any of those cases. Dean delighted in the way her eyes lit up when listening to him describe something particularly gruesome. 

Some of the details in their stories made Jimmy a bit ill, but he listened all the same. 

Sam was happy they were bonding somewhat, and supplied details here and there about different creatures. 

Cas really didn’t have anything to input aside from the occasional awed reaction to things they’d done and seen. It made his heart swell to see Maddie comfortable and talking effortlessly with her brothers. 

And Maddie…she’d never felt anything like what she did at that table. She was sitting with people that knew her and what she had done and gone through, and they were unafraid. 

She had a boyfriend for a month or so back when she was still hunting with John. She kept it a secret from him, of course, and relished in the companionship although their shared moments were fleeting. Maddie refused to let him even touch her, but he was an innocent, inexperienced teenager anyway, and that was fine with him. They called it quits when Maddie finally opened up about why she kept having to leave and returned with inexplicable injuries, and he literally pissed himself in fear. 

That was the last time she’d ever even considered telling someone about the reality of what lurks in the shadows and how it was her responsibility to deal with it. But now, here, there were other people who shared that responsibility. They understood. Maybe it wasn’t so bad to let them into her life…maybe…maybe she wouldn’t hate letting herself be welcomed into theirs. Maybe staying with them for a few days wouldn’t be such a bad thing after all.

Chapter Text

Maddie had to admit, the dinner was nice. She’d been to restaurants like that, but it was always by herself or with some dull rich dude she tricked into inviting her. She’d never had a nice meal with nice company, and it was…nice. 

True to their word, the Novak twins paid for the meal and escorted the group outside after they’d finished their divine deserts and more of the wine that Maddie had ordered. No one cared that four out of the five in the group were underaged. In a restaurant like that, no one dares deny you anything, granted you’ve got a wallet big enough. 

It was dark as they left, but luckily they didn’t have to walk far because the valet had pulled the Impala up to the front walk for them. Maddie’s motorcycle was nowhere in sight though. 

“Why don’t we give you a ride to your bike, Maddie, so you don’t have to walk?” Cas offered upon seeing that valet hadn’t brought her bike with the Impala.

Dean nodded as he rounded the car to the drivers side. “Yeah, hop in, it’s cold. Can’t go letting my baby sister freeze to death, now can I?”

She lingered on the sidewalk and shook her head as she crossed her arms across her chest. “I’m fine, I didn’t park far. It’s only a short walk.”

“You could just ride back to the house with us.” Everyone stilled when Sam spoke. “We can have someone get your bike in the morning.”

The muscles in Maddie’s jaw feathered. Her silence put the boys on edge. On one hand, it could be a good thing, she wasn’t freaking out and shouting at them. On the other, it could be bad, it could be the type of anger that sits in silence and builds in the shadows until erupting in an unpredictable amount of fury that no one survives. 

It was Thursday, and she’d promised to spend the weekend with them. It made sense that she could start now. Then again, while they were cordial at dinner, things weren’t exactly entirely harmonious between them, and they didn’t expect Maddie to be full heartedly accepting of their help just yet. 

She shook her head silently. “I…I’ll be at your place by tomorrow evening. I’ve got to grab some stuff from my digs and, well, you know, Marshmallow. Just text me the address, I’ll be there, I swear.” She clutched the delicate coat around her shoulders and started walking past the Impala to make her way to her bike. When she peeked over her shoulder though, the boys were wearing hesitant expressions. Maddie slowed to a stop and turned to face them. “Look, you owe me fifteen thousand dollars. I’m going to collect. I’ll be there.”

She smiled a little, putting them at ease. 

“Ok.” Sam’s voice was hoarse when he spoke, so he cleared his throat and tried to put on a smile. “See you tomorrow, Maddie.”

Jimmy nodded excitedly. “We’re going to have so much fun this weekend! We can show you the house and we can go anywhere in the city you want and we can go clothes shopping-” Maddie opened her mouth to protest, but Jimmy kept talking before she had a chance. “-and we’ll get churros! Cassie doesn’t let me get churros during the school week because he thinks they make me hyper or something, but we can get them on the weekend. And we can go to the boardwalk and we can take our dogs to the dog park. Oh! Our dogs are going to love each other! And-”

Cas finally jumped in to stop his twin gently. “You don’t have to do any of that, Maddie. We appreciate you agreeing to come stay with us at all, and we’d like to do some fun activities with you if you’re amenable, but we won’t force you. I…we look forward to seeing you again tomorrow.”

Maddie held eye contact with him so long, Sam started to wonder what unspoken conversation was passing between them. Cas was trying hard not to let his nervous heartache show. It was a strange feeling that he himself didn’t understand, like his heart was literally straining to be closer to her so strong he had to actively resist being pulled in her direction. Her sparkling green eyes that simply seemed too aware of the world and her affect on it just made butterflies swarm in his guts and threaten to crawl up his throat. 

Her small, pink tongue poked out to moisten her lips as she nodded, studying him unblinkingly. “I look forward to having a roof over my head for a few days.”

She turned to go again when Dean suddenly remembered something and called out. “Oh, your necklace. Here.”

She’d given it to him before dinner so they knew she’d show up in order to get it back. Dinner was over, and she’d delivered on her promise. He took the golden chain with the winged pendant from his pocket and held it out to her in one hand. 

She offered him the barest hint of a smile. “Why don’t you hang onto it for a little longer? You can give it to me tomorrow.” 

>< >< ><

“They sounded like parting words to me,” Sam admitted. 

“No! She wouldn’t leave something that means this much to her behind. She’ll be back,” Dean insisted, clutching the golden necklace in one hand and stroking the pendant gently with the fingers of the other. 

Cas rubbed Sam’s back reassuringly, and he knew that if Cas wasn’t doing that, he’d have collapsed into a heap on the floor long ago. 

It was Friday. The boys had gone home the night before and gotten a room all set up for Maddie. They’d bugged Marta until she promised to make cinnamon rolls the next morning for their guest. They’d picked out bowls from the Novak’s collection for Marshmallow’s food and water and, even though they were still empty, placed them in the corner of the kitchen next to Marx and Engel’s bowls on a mat so they were ready. 

Needless to say, they could hardly sleep that night, but they finally did and were a little disappointed to wake and find that Maddie hadn’t come back yet. It was around that time they realized they should have asked her how far she’d be going to get her stuff and Marshmallow, but they hadn’t and so it was just a waiting game. 

The boys had gone to classes that morning in the hopes that by the time they got back, Maddie would be there. Dean even allowed the boys to drag him to campus to hang out until they were done, so they could all go see her together and those that had class wouldn’t be itching to leave as bad out of jealousy. 

When they got home though, Maddie was no where to be found. 

“I’m sure she’ll be here,” Cas reassured them. “She could have had to drive hours away to get her stuff. Or it might be difficult to transport a rottweiler on a motorcycle. There could be any number of reasons she hasn’t arrived yet. She’ll be here though.”

“I don’t know, Cas,” Jimmy countered. He didn’t want to upset the Winchester brothers, so he didn’t voice all of his doubts that Maddie would be coming back, and as he looked at his brother now, he realized that his brother would be rather upset as well. He cocked his head at the expression on Cas’s face. It was a mix between sadness and…longing. Jimmy was disappointed Maddie was gone too, but he knew that’s just how life was sometimes. He’d been ghosted by a few guys in the early stages of getting to know them before, so this experience was not a new one to him. Combined with the fact that she wasn’t his sister or had given him a reason to grow too attached, he wasn’t all that relatively torn up about her not coming. 

It seemed that his brother wasn’t nearly as indifferent. 

Sam was trying with all his might not to be too hurt that his sister had abandoned them. It just wasn’t enough to stop the tears from welling up in his eyes though after two more hours past without hearing from her. Dean had texted her the address soon after they’d parted ways the night before, and he’d tried to check in with her multiple times today, but she’d never responded. They’d called, but no pick up. 

Dean was honestly in no shape to comfort his little brother, so even though Cas was feeling just as crestfallen, he knew it fell to him to take Sam’s mind off of it. He loved Sam too much not to. He was even a bit angry at Maddie that she’d made the love of his life hurt this way. 

“Hey, none of those tears now,” Cas murmured, smoothing a thumb across Sam’s cheek to wipe away the salty trail that had escaped his lower lid. “There’s still time for her to show up, but so what if she never does? She already fulfilled most of her part of the bet, she returned that cuff link.” He paused to watch the gears turn in Sam’s head. Like always, Cas knew exactly what he was thinking and knew how to assuage those worries. “Maddie made it plenty clear at Bobby’s that she doesn’t want any help, so if she never shows, it’s probably just that again. I know for a fact that her not showing up doesn’t have anything to do with you or Dean, ok? You two are the most amazing, beautiful, caring boys I’ve ever met, and she knows that too. I don’t want either of you thinking that she’s not here because of you.”

Sam let himself be folded into Cas’s embrace, and Dean drifted over with welling eyes to be comforted as well. 

Sam still couldn’t help but blame himself though. He hadn’t been the most welcoming towards her. He hadn’t been standoffish, but he hadn’t really made an effort to make her feel welcome around him. That was just his nature though. It took him a while to let others in because so many people had hurt him in the past. It was a testament to how special Cas and Jimmy were that Sam was able to trust them so fast. They were just different. Even though Maddie was his sister, it was taking him a while to assimilate her into his visions of the future, and he believed it was this delay that caused her to feel not welcome and not show up. 

Cas could tell in the stiff way Sam held himself that something was off. That was the way Sam got when he was worried about something, but also worried how Cas would take it if he told him. 

Cas shook him lightly, causing both Winchester brothers to pull back to look him in the face. 

“What is it?” Cas asked sternly. 

Dean looked to his brother expectantly, knowing that Cas wasn’t speaking to him. Cas also had an uncanny way of knowing when Dean was upset about something, but Cas was more prone to let Dean tell them about it in his own time. With Sam, Cas knew that if he didn’t prompt the confession, Sam would never offer it up himself. 

Sam bit his lip and looked away before finally mumbling, “I feel like it’s my fault.”

And with that single statement, he broke down into tears. Jimmy hurried over to join their group embrace as they surrounded Sam with physical affection. 

“It’s not your fault,” Cas whispered to him. “I swear to you, it’s not your fault.”

“Sam, I made you literally beat this into me two months ago. Not having been able to take care of Maddie when we were younger isn’t our fault. Her decisions as an adult aren’t our fault either.”

“I know,” Sam responded softly. “I know. I just wasn’t as welcoming to her as I should have been, and now I feel powerless. I feel like I can’t do anything right.”

“Can’t do anything right?” Cas scoffed. “Sam, I don’t think you understand how very many things you do perfectly .” 

Sam wiped at the tears on his face, upset at himself for getting so upset. Cas had firm hands on both of Sam’s shoulders, and he slowly slid them closer to his neck and collar as he spoke. 

“I understand where your feeling of powerlessness comes from, but there’s no reason to say that you can’t do anything right.” Sam avoided looking his husband in the eye, so Cas continued as he wrapped his hands around Sam’s throat. “Do I need to remind you of all the things you do just right for me, my good boy?” Sam blinked rapidly and finally met Cas’s eye to see lust pooling there. “If Maddie isn’t going to show up, that just means more time for us to play then.”

Jimmy grinned and took Dean by the hand. The Novak brothers led their Winchester boys down the steps to the basement. 

Cas took Sam immediately to the rigging, remembering how much he enjoyed being suspended. They didn’t have the proper equipment for full suspension, but Cas could achieve a similar effect with just rope and the hooks installed securely into the ceiling. 

Sam’s anxieties about Maddie started melting away the second Cas deposited him under the hooks and left him to get the rope from a cabinet. Dean gave him an encouraging thumbs up as Jimmy collected the “toys” he wanted to use on Dean. Sam smiled despite himself at his brother’s familiar, goofy gesture, and Sam’s smile made Cas infinitely happy. 

Cas started by blindfolding Sam. Then, he slowly removed his clothes, kissing Sam’s bare skin after each new area was revealed. Sam got chills as Cas’s feather-light lips brushed sensitive parts of his body and awakened his senses in the way that only this sort of treatment could. 

After all his clothes were off, Cas started with the rope. He tied an intricate harness around Sam’s chest and then made secure wrist and ankle anchors. He had to get a step stool to begin looping ropes through the hooks in the ceiling. After Cas spend nearly half an hour of tying and weaving and checking in to make sure Sam was ok, Cas had Sam entirely suspended sideways. His arms were tied together behind his back and both of his ankles were secured to his thighs. Cas had to do most of the work with Sam still standing, and then he went down to one foot, and finally, once most of his weight was supported by the ropes and hooks, Cas made him lift that foot, bent it back so his calf was flush with his thigh like the other leg, and secured it there. 

Sam hummed happily once everything was in place, and Cas started inserting fingers into Sam’s mouth one at a time. He couldn’t see or really hear what Jimmy was doing with his brother, but if he could, he’d know that Jimmy was working on Dean’s nonverbal commands. 

They were in the corner of the room, Jimmy had made Dean strip and they were going over positions for a while. Then Jimmy started to teach Dean how to fuck himself on a dildo for the sole purpose of amusing others. Dean happily complied as he’d found that once he got past the embarrassment, he actually liked the idea of people watching and admiring him. He thought it was high time he got recognition and praise for something. At this point, he didn’t really care if it was for his work protecting the general population for horrific monsters, or for his perfect form being a man-slut. 

Cas had purposefully strung Sam up so that his mouth was at perfect cock-sucking height, so that’s exactly what he did next. Sam eagerly opened up to accept Cas’s already pulsing cock. Cas wanted to encourage Sam to let go of all thoughts and worries, so instead of making Sam give him an active blowjob, Cas forced him to simply hold it in his throat. He helped Sam take him all the way down, and then simply held him there with a strong hand on the back of his head. 

Sam drooled, but he didn’t care about that anymore. He gagged a bit a few times, but he recovered quickly by swallowing around Cas and breathing through his nose slowly. The blessed subspace had taken him a while ago, but Cas was nudging him further and further the closer and closer he got to passing out. 

Cas always seemed to know exactly when Sam was about to lose consciousness and drew back enough for Sam to take a breath before plunging back in, clogging Sam’s wet throat with his cock. 

Sam had started to make small, needy noises, the longer it went on which drove both twins crazy. 

Jimmy had been stroking himself while watching Dean repeatedly impale himself on a dildo stuck to the floor. Dean was making small sounds, although his were more out of desperation and wanting to come himself while Sam’s were pleas for Cas to come down his throat. 

Cas couldn’t help but oblige after a particularly difficult hold where Sam didn’t quite get enough air his last break and was struggling to relax himself. His squirming and greed for Cas’s cum sent him over the edge. 

The twins actually came in synchronicity as Dean finally managed to angle the dildo at just the right spot against the inner walls of his ass that he’d made himself come through the cock cage that Jimmy had started to keep on him a majority of the time. It threw Jimmy over the edge and three of the four boys came together. All four were left panting for breath though. 

Slow clapping from the direction of the stairs jackrabbited every heart in the room as those that could, whipped around to see Maddie sitting calmly on the second to last step, looking nonchalant as ever.

She stopped slow clapping as Cas took off Sam’s blindfold, so he could see what was happening. Maddie rose gracefully and brandished two average looking envelopes, one addressed to Sam, the other to Dean. 

“Sorry I took a bit longer than I’d expected,” she purred, entirely unaware of how much distress her delay caused. “Dad wrote you letters that he gave me for safekeeping and told me to give them to you two should he happen upon an untimely death. I had to retrieve them from were I stashed them.”

She glided over to Dean, who was still kneeling on the floor with an entire dildo lodged up into his cunt. His eyes were alert, and his face was flushed terribly red. He couldn’t do anything but take the envelope silently when she handed his letter to him. It didn’t seem to phase her one bit though. 

She made her way to Sam before anyone could say anything, but he didn’t have an appendage free to accept the envelope, his mouth wasn’t gagged, but Maddie didn’t want the slobber and cum still coating his lips to ruin the contents of the envelope. After a moment of consideration, she slides it in between his right calf and thigh which are still bound together. 

Sam was panicking, but he couldn’t move. Cas had given him a drop signal in the case he needed to communicate something with Cas’s dick in his mouth, but now his body refused to obey the silent screaming going through his head as he tried in vain to drop the cat toy and let Cas know that he was ready to be let down. He wanted freed and cleaned and clothed and to have an opportunity to explain to Maddie. 

After depositing both letters, Maddie turned and made to leave up the stairs the way she’d come.

Cas and Jimmy took instinctive steps towards her in order to take back control of the room, and Cas called out to stop her, “How long have you been here?”

“Long enough to know that they like it and are here because they want to be.”

That should have been relieving to hear. They should have been happy Maddie didn’t care that her brothers were into bdsm or that they didn’t mind doing it in the same room as each other. There was just something off in the predatory way she held herself though, and an instant later, they found out why. 

She darted forward, grabbed both twins by an arm and pulled them close before growling, “The second that changes, and I do mean the second, I will know. And I will hurt you for it. Badly. Horrifyingly. Irrevocably . Got it?” 

Her wickedly intelligent eyes flick over Cas and Jimmy. She’d witnessed her brothers receive pleasure from submitting to these boys, and though she couldn’t understand it, she accepted it. One thing she would not stand for is her brothers getting truly hurt because of these two. She didn’t know yet if her brothers would speak up for themselves if they needed to, so she had to make sure the twins knew that she had no problem shouting at full volume for them. 

The twins nodded fearfully at her threats, and she released them. 

Sam was still trying to force himself to say something or drop the little jingly ball in his hand, but he just couldn’t do it. He was so stunned at seeing Maddie appear just when he’d accepted that she wouldn’t be coming and that it wasn’t his fault. 

Dean was silent in his corner. He had eased himself off the dildo, but was still kneeling on the padded grounded, watching stoically. 

“Great!” Maddie exclaimed, her mood swinging suddenly from aggressive to saccharine. “Keep treating my brothers well, and we should have no issue.” She made her way to the steps again. “I’ll be upstairs. Don’t rush, but whenever you’re done cleaning up, come join me.”

She had no precedence over the house, but she still managed to make it seem as if she owned the place.

She exited the room as silently as she had come in, and the boys realized why they hadn’t detected when she came in. Even with his hunter instincts and the stairs in full visibility, Dean hadn’t noticed when she appeared. That’s what scared him most. Maddie wasn’t something he could track or hunt or even understand. 

After Maddie left, the room was silent until the soft jingle from Sam’s cat toy hitting the ground. All three boys flocked to Sam. Dean struggled getting up a bit, but he forced his legs under himself and willed them to be steady so he could fly to his brother’s side. 

Cas was instantly undoing the knots one at a time to let him down gently. Dean took the envelope carefully, so it didn’t fall on the ground as Cas straightened Sam’s limbs and rubbed warmth back into them. Jimmy supported Sam’s head which had somehow grown too heavy for Sam to hold up himself anymore. 

“She’s here,” Sam whispered hoarsely after they’d completely freed him. 

“She is,” Cas affirmed happily. “And she’s not going anywhere any time soon, so lets get washed up, and then we can go see her, ok?”

Sam nodded and let his brother and husband help him into the bathroom. Jimmy stayed behind a minute to clean up the floor around where Dean had been fucking himself and under where Sam had been rigged up into the air, but he quickly joined them afterwards.

Chapter Text

Maddie was sitting on the living room floor surrounded by animals when the boys found her. They hadn’t rushed getting cleaned up, in fact, they unintentionally spent longer than they usually did because they all wanted to be presentable to Maddie. For some reason, her approval seemed absolutely essential in that moment. 

Neither Sam nor Dean had opened their letters from their Dad out of fear. They had no idea what parting words the man had for them that he’d deemed so important they had to be written down and entrusted with the little sister they knew nothing about.

Maddie hadn’t given any indication she knew what was in the envelopes either, and she hadn’t said if one was left for her as well. She looked untroubled though as the giant rottweiler that must be Marshmallow laid on her lap as if he were a puppy. Maddie was carding her fingers through his fur and alternating between petting Marx and Engel who were sitting to her left. They seemed relaxed as well which told the boys that Marshmallow didn’t feel like a threat to them. 

She looked up with an impassive expression as they walked in. 

“So you just saw all of that…” Jimmy started.

“If you think I care about my brothers’ sexual preferences, think again.” Maddie held up a hand. “I’ve got control issues. I know that. I’ve been raped, and I’ve been used. I don’t like feeling out of control or like someone has authority over me. I don’t ever want to feel as powerless as I did with Dad again, so I’d never let someone do to me what you let those twins do to you, but …” She paused to look both of her brothers in the eye. “That doesn’t mean I respect you any less. I understand the satisfaction of an uneven power dynamic. I understand how good it feels when someone puts their complete and utter trust in you and submits. I don’t understand why you like being on that particular end of the whip, but I don’t have to understand everything about you to care for you.”

One single tear escaped Dean’s eye as he lowered himself to his knees beside her. Mutely, he held out his hand, cupping the golden chain and winged pendant in his palm. Maddie shifted to her knees and took it from him with a little smile. Dean threw his arms around her, and she let him cling to her shoulders sobbing. Sam dropped beside them as well and put his arms around his brother and sister, finally together, finally safe, finally happy.

Maddie didn’t quite know how to trust others. She had never really even cared about anyone before. She didn’t know what she was supposed to do or what that was supposed to look like, but she was willing to try. 

Bobby had been wrong when he said Maddie wasn’t ok but didn’t know it. She was well aware that she had trust issues and was incredibly reactive and, in all likelihood, had PTSD. But then, so did Sam and Dean, and they had found ways with the twins to overcome that. Settling down wasn’t really an option for her because Maddie was a hunter and always would be, but at least for this weekend, maybe she could be something more. 

“Ok, that’s enough of that!” Maddie proclaimed, extracting herself from her brothers. Marshmallow stood when she did, and Maddie gestured to her dog with a devilish smile. “This is my very large, very terrifying baby, Marshmallow. Do you want to suck his dick now or later?”

She offered Cas her sweetest smile. 

Cas gaped, at a complete loss for words. She had that effect on him a lot. He just couldn’t keep up with her sudden demeanor changes, and his mind was still racing from her words earlier. “I understand how good it feels when someone puts their complete and utter trust in you and submits.” Did that mean she was into some of the same stuff he was? She didn’t have any adverse reaction to the things she’d seen, like she had experience with it all. Did that mean…? Cas had to force the image of her standing above him with a hand lightly squeezing his throat out of his head.

After a moment, he found his response to her question about their deal. “W-well, I guess that depends on if you want your money now or later.”

Maddie narrowed her eyes. Clearly, he thought he was doing something. “ Now .”

Jimmy and Dean sat down on the couch slowly. Sam, ever the loving, loyal husband, stayed by Cas’s side. Cas processed her decision and went to lower himself to his knees when Maddie stopped him. 

“Uh uh uh. Money first.” She arched an eyebrow as if challenging him to go back on his word. 

Cas nodded. “Alright.”

He didn’t want to admit it to himself, but he was rather relieved that getting the money for her would procrastinate the inevitable even if it was just a few minutes more. If he was honest, he really didn’t want to suck off a dog, but he had made a promise, as stupid and impulsive as it was, that he intended to keep. If he went back on it, then Maddie would never trust them because he would have sent a precedent of being dishonest and unreliable.

“Cas, this is crazy,” Sam whisper-shouted at him when they were out of ear shot. 

They’d both gone to Cas’s room to collect Maddie’s money from the little safe Cas kept for emergencies. 

Cas shook his head. “I know it’s crazy, but I have to show Maddie that we can be trusted.”

“There are other ways to do that!” Sam protested. “What’s the one thing you’re always telling me? You can revoke consent to any activity at any point no matter how many times you’ve done it or said you would do it before. You can tell Maddie you’re just not comfortable doing it. She can’t get mad at you for not wanting to suck her dog’s dick, and if she does, then maybe we don’t want her in this house anyway.”

Sam appreciated how far Cas was willing to go for his little sister, he really did, but he didn’t want the love of his life to do something he wasn’t one hundred percent sure about. 

Cas handed a stack of cash to Sam before shutting the safe and turning the lock. He kissed Sam gently. “I appreciate your concern, but I’ll be fine, Sam. Maybe after I’ll need someone to offer up their ass and help me remember that I’m a supposed to be dominant.” Sam smiled, but Cas intentionally didn’t look at him as they started walking back. “If only I knew someone who could help me with that. Maybe Jimmy…he’s is always willing to offer his ass to me. Or perhaps Dean would. He’s usually eager to please…”

“Or me!” Sam walked directly in front of Cas, forcing both of them to a halt in the hall. 

“You?” Cas cocked his head, pretending as if he’d never considered it. “Would you do that for me?”

Sam nodded earnestly. Cas wrapped a hand around Sam’s neck just above the collar and pulled him close. Sam let himself be moved and relished in the attention that made him slip into submission. 

Cas lowered his voice to that sexy growl Sam loved. “Would you let me whip your ass until it glowed red and then fuck you until you’re screaming my name into the sheets all while the cock I own is in its little cage? Would you let me pin you to the ground under my black leather boots like the little desperate whore you are? Would you let me have my way with you and do anything I pleased?”

Sam shuddered and nodded as best as he could with his neck still held firmly Cas’s hand. His other hand slid down Sam’s front, coming to a rest over the hard cage that held Sam’s straining dick. Talk like that always sent Sam over the edge, and he had to try really hard to stop himself from simply coming on the spot, a fact that Cas was gleefully aware of. 

When they reentered the room, Sam’s cheeks were pink, and Cas was wearing a self-satisfied smirk. He handed the money to Maddie and then got on all fours beside the rottweiler. 

“Thank you,” Maddie hummed. The confidence drained from Cas’s being as he looked from the dog to Maddie and back again. She watched him steadily. “You might want to try lying on your back.”

Cas laid down on the floor, and Sam sat beside him. Jimmy and Dean looked on with baited breath. Maddie carefully guided her dog to stand above Cas’s head, told him to stay, and then sat back on the couch. She adjusted herself to a graceful lounging position and began counting the one hundred dollar bills that had just been handed to her. 

Cas hesitated. “How do I…”

Marshmallow’s underside looked smooth, and his fur was short enough that Cas thought he should be able to see where his dick was, but he couldn’t.

“You don’t.” Maddie snorted, pausing her counting. 'He is a she. But you look awful comfy down there waiting to suck on something.”

“Oh my God,” Jimmy breathed. 

Cas sat up, his face burning red as he stared at Maddie sitting unbothered on the couch. 

“So, what? This was all just a stupid test to humiliate me?”

He couldn’t imagine any other reason she would take it this far, and her expression was one of amusement. He didn’t like being made a fool of, but for some reason, he didn’t regret anything. If he had the chance to do it all over again, even knowing that Marshmallow was actually a female and that there was no dick to suck on, he’d still get on his hands and knees before her and lie down under the dog like Maddie wanted. He’d do it all again…for Maddie. 

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks. He wasn’t a submissive, and he didn’t like being humiliated…but doing what Maddie wanted, convincing her that they could be trusted, that he could be trusted, felt so right. 

“I was joking at first to prove a point, but then you agreed to it, and you seemed so eager, so I wasn’t about to disappoint you,” she responded. She finished counting the money and folded the stack of cash in half before tucking it into her bra. 

Maddie clicked her tongue, and Marshmallow leapt up onto the couch beside her. She held out a hand in front of the dog, palm down and then flipped it, turning her hand palm up. The dog’s eyes followed the movement, and she rolled over to expose her stomach. Maddie reached down and began lightly scratching her belly, which she seemed to enjoy.

Sam seemed to recover the quickest as he watched the demonstration of obedience from the dog. They boys hadn’t managed to train either their dog or their cat to do much of anything. They’d only had them for less than a year, but Sam had to admit, he was kind of disappointed Marx didn’t even understand how to play fetch with a ball yet. 

“How long have you had Marshmallow?” he asked.

“About three years,” Maddie replied, running a hand down her chin and sliding it over her chest and stomach. 

Cas couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like if it were his chest and stomach she was running her hand down. 

“Dad let you have a dog?” Dean asked in disbelief. 

“No, he never knew.” Maddie crossed her legs and held out her hands to indicate Marshmallow should lay across her lap to which she happily obliged. “Marshmallow is like me. She knows how to be a stray when she has to. If I can’t care for her, she can care for herself, just like when there’s no one to care for me, I take care of myself. 

As if she were summoned, Marta appeared in the doorway with a kind smile. “Oh, you must be Maddie! The boys told me we’d be having an extra guest for a few days. And we’re happy to take care of you during that time, you needn’t worry, dear. As a matter of fact, I just finished preparing dinner if you’re hungry.”

The boys saw the physical change that took over Maddie as she slipped into that polite young woman she’d been at the restaurant. 

“That sounds fantastic. Thank you, Marta.” Maddie rose gracefully with Marshmallow by her side. “Are you guys coming?”

The boys climbed to their feet as well and followed Maddie who followed Marta to the kitchen.

“How did you know Marta’s name?” Jimmy asked. “She never said it.”

Maddie shrugged. “I may have done a little internet investigation about you guys last night.”

“Marta’s on the internet?” Jimmy was intrigued. He’d never thought of the woman as the type to have social media or anything modern that required any amount of savviness. The idea that she’d come up if you googled her made him giggle.

“You two and your parents are, so everyone you employ is as well, by proxy,” Maddie explained before sitting down to some intricate chicken and pasta dinner of Marta’s creation. 

The twins shared a look. They hadn’t realized it was that easy to find a list of the people their family employed. If their employees could be found that easily, did that mean the Winchester brothers could be found online through them too? 

They knew their boys had enemies from their hunting days, some of which had already come for Sam. If there were others who wanted to hurt either Sam or Dean, and they could find their location by the Novaks… Cas made a mental note to ask Maddie about how she’d identified Marta and if she knew how to erase those types of traces from the internet in order to prevent Sam and Dean from being found and potentially hurt. 

>< >< ><

“What do you think?” Cas asked. 

The boys had just led Maddie to the spare room they’d set aside for her and made up nicely. She hadn’t had much of a visible reaction upon walking in, so they couldn’t tell straight away if she was impressed, satisfied, or disappointed with it. 

“It’s cool.”

Maddie tossed her green duffel bag and a similar black one onto the bed. The black one clattered in a way that made the boys think it was filled with weapons. No one commented. 

“If you need anything, just let Marta or one of us know,”  Jimmy piped up. “Extra blankets, extra towels, anything.” 

It was dark out, but not that late, and even though the group could have done some sort of activity together before going to bed, Maddie didn’t seem very responsive to the idea of spending more time with them than she had to. 

Now that she had her money and the wing necklace back, there was nothing binding her here but honor. Honor had to be enough for the boys though as they wished her quiet “goodnights” and left her alone in the room. 

Maddie sighed and flopped backwards onto the unbelievably soft bed. Marshmallow hopped up beside her and laid down with her head on Maddie's stomach. 

“Hey, sweetie.” She smoothed a hand down the pup's head and scratched behind her ears. “What do you think of this place?”

She didn’t respond, but her tongue lolled out the side of her mouth, and she had no idea what that was supposed to mean. 

“I like it. A little too much, honestly,” Maddie confessed to the silence hanging in the air. After a pause, she sat up and looked around. “Everything is so…perfect. Like anything you could need is just…here. I guess that’s how life’s supposed to be, huh?” She continued to pet the large rottweiler while she mused to herself. “You’re supposed to have everything you need, or at least, be able to get it. You’re not supposed to be scrambling for a way to survive the way we do.”

The twins could change that for her. They had offered to buy anything she wanted. That was before she’d thoroughly humiliated Cas though. She hadn’t done anything to the others, her brothers had escaped her retaliation, and Jimmy, well, he was just a sweetheart, she couldn’t do anything to him. Cas had tried to put her in a place though. He’d tried to tell her what to do. He liked when people could be put in neat little boxes that he could study and understand. He wanted to put her in a submissive box where he put the other people that he tells what to do and takes care of. She didn’t want to be taken care of like that. 

“I don’t have another case yet, Mallow,” Maddie told the dog. “We might just be able to enjoy this perfect palace longer than a couple days. Although, if we do, some things are going to have to change around here. That can wait until tomorrow though.”

>< >< ><

Cas didn’t know what compelled him to check on Maddie in the middle of the night after he’d spent fruitless hours tossing and turning in bed. It seemed they were all having a little trouble sleeping because Sam had lain awake for a few hours as Cas stroked his hair rhythmically. Dean wouldn’t fall asleep until Sam did because they were snuggled right up against each other, and Dean knew his brother so well, he could tell whether he was awake or asleep just by the patterns of his breathing. Jimmy was curled up between Sam and Dean’s legs, situated much lower in the bed so the covers were completely covering his head. He liked it that way. It made him feel safe. 

Eventually though, each of his boys fell asleep one after the other until it was just Cas lying awake, alone. The house was quiet, but something was bugging him. It felt like he was forgetting something but couldn’t quite remember what. 

At any rate, the unease wouldn’t let him rest, so he got up to check on Maddie instead. He knocked incredibly lightly before trying the handle. The door had a lock, but it wasn’t locked now. He let himself in and opened the door just enough that the light from the hallway spilled in and illuminated the vacant bed. The covers were mussed up as if someone had lain there only moments before. 

Cas looked to the bathroom door, but it was open. Maddie wasn’t here. Her duffle bags were still at the foot of the bed, so he didn’t even consider the idea that she’d left without saying goodbye. Where was she though?

Cas wandered downstairs and rounded a corner to see Maddie sitting cross legged on the couch with Marshmallow curled up beside her. The large dog looked like she was sleeping, but Maddie was very much awake, watching TV with the sound off. 

The light from the TV was the only light in the room, and it illuminated Maddie’s features in a way that made her look ethereal and ghostly. 

“You ok?” Cas asked softly. 

He hadn’t wanted to startle her, but at this point, he was sure she knew when anyone entered or exited the room she was in. She seemed to be aware of everything about her environment, and this time was no different. She did know the exact moment he came and looked up.

“Yeah, just couldn’t sleep. You?” she replied in a voice just as quiet. 

“I couldn’t sleep either.” He paused, considering the empty space on the couch beside her. “Do you mind?”

Maddie shrugged. “Your house.”

Cas sat and folded his hands in his lap. There was some medical drama show on the TV that she was watching. The facial expressions on the actors were so exaggerated, and they were talking so animatedly that Cas almost wished the sound were on, so he could hear what they were saying. The subtitles weren’t even on, so it clearly didn’t matter to Maddie what was going on in the show. 

Cas glanced at her to see a pensive expression. Her unblinking eyes were dark and thoughtful, and even though she was looking at the TV, it was like she wasn’t really seeing anything before her. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” 

Cas had heard his parent’s rich friends use that expression. He always thought it was kind of tacky. 

His voice seemed to dispel whatever she had been thinking of as she finally blinked and her face brightened a bit. She turned her body to face him and laid her head on the back of the couch lazily while she studied him with that mischievous grin. 

“Why are you really awake right now?” She dodged his question. “I’m a hunter. I’ve never had a normal sleep schedule. Hell, I could probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve been able to sleep through the night, but you…Silver Spoon, you should be asleep. Did your nurse maid not give you enough warm milk? Or maybe your silk pillow keeps slipping off your silk sheets? Or maybe you can’t sleep because you’re scared of the big bad woman with guns and knives staying in the next room over?”

“I’m not the privileged asshole you think I am, Maddie!” Cas couldn’t help but shout. He immediately regretted it because he was worried the other boys had heard from up stairs, but Maddie’s digs at his wealthy upbringing were starting to get to him. It had never bothered him before when other people did it, but from her it felt different. It felt personal. It made him feel guilty. 

Her smile widened. 

Cas sighed and dragged both hands over his face. “I hate how easily you can find just the right button to set someone off.”

Maddie shrugged. “People are never going to like me. I don’t do ‘friends,’ so the faster I can make someone my enemy, the faster I know where I stand and the faster I know what to expect out of them.”

Cas narrowed his eyes. Those weren’t the words of an insufferable teenager just trying to get a rise out of him. Those were the words of someone who’s been hurt so often and so badly that she’d rather make enemies rather than friends because she only knows how to handle people that hate her…because no one has ever bothered to get to know her or show her love.

“I want to be your friend,” Cas responded softly. 

“I just told you. I don’t do friends. ” Maddie turned back to the TV to continue watching the muted show. 

Cas kept watching her and allowed a beat of silence to pass before speaking again. “Then, I want to be the closest thing to a friend you’ll let me be.”

Then it was Maddie’s turn to be quiet. She chewed on her lip as she considered his words. Instead of replying to him, she simply said, “You never told me why you actually couldn’t sleep.”

“I’ve been thinking about some things,” he answered vaguely. 

What was the point in answering if he wasn’t actually going to answer? Maddie thought as she rolled her eyes. “Anything you’d like to share with the class?”

“Honestly? Most of my thoughts recently have been about you. And I don’t know why.” 

She snorted and turned to face him again. “Judging from your relationship with my brothers, I think you’re just a sucker for a sob story.”

Cas shakes his head vehemently. “It wasn’t that when I met them though. Of course I felt bad about what they’d been through, and I wanted to do everything in my power to give them everything they could ever want and then some, but that’s not what drew me to them in the first place.”

She didn’t react which Cas took as permission to continue explaining. “Sam was actually my roommate. It was complete chance, I had no idea who would be placed with me, and I had no intention of making my roommate my husband, but it happened so quick, we just…clicked.”

It seemed so long ago to Cas even though it was just a year. He could hardly remember a time without Sam. 

Maddie draws her knees up to her chest, looking more interested in what he was saying now. Could it…could it be that she’s interested in hearing about how her bother met his husband? Her eyes were inquisitive like a little kid hearing a love story for the first time. Cas didn’t comment because he didn’t want to make her aware of it. He didn’t want her to feel self-conscious and stop doing it. She was…pretty when she looked like that. 

Cas cast his memory back to the first time he met Sam. Sam had been bold and unabashed…just like Maddie was. He wondered if that was just a coincidence or if that sort of thing could be inherited. Either way, Sam had just asked point blank if Cas was into him, and Cas had told him he liked boys and girls. Every time Sam spoke in those first twenty-four hours, his voice sent shivers down his spine. Then, Sam had dropped to his knees in front of Cas without warning, and Cas had nearly had a stroke. He blushed furiously just remembering it. 

When Cas spoke again, it was like he was talking more to himself than Maddie. “Somehow, I knew he was something special and so beautiful that I couldn’t resist.”

“Just like you can’t resist thinking about me?” Maddie cocked her head like Marx sometimes did when he was trying to understand their words. 

Cas hesitated. “It’s different with you, Maddie. With Sam, almost the minute we met, he just kind of went to his knees on his own, and I knew I’d love him forever. He was so hot and unabashed and exciting. He’s exciting. He’s so powerful and lethal, and I love the way he lets me leash it and watch that danger roil around inside of him. I knew because we were roommates that we’d be spending a lot of time together, and very quickly, I got some pretty vivid fantasies about dominating him.” He blushes even harder, turning a bright tomato red. He’d gotten more used to speaking his darker desires out loud since first meeting Sam, but nearly twenty years of being taught that sex shouldn’t be talked about was hard to shake. He took a deep breath. “With you…I don’t want to dominate you. I can’t stop thinking about you, but it’s not the same. I’m not even sure I’m in control of this one. It’s like my body just wants to be near you, and that kind of scares me.”

It takes a lot for a dom to admit when he’s not in control of something, especially when that thing is himself. Maddie seemed to understand that bravery and, knowing he had more to say, waited patiently for him to finish in a trembling voice.

“I have never met someone I felt so magnetized to that I didn’t want to dominate. I can’t explain it, but I just want to be around you. It feels like you’re going to evaporate in a wisp of smoke at any given minute. That impermanence is…is…it’s intoxicating. Like because I know you could leave at any moment, my body wants to drink in your presence every second while you’re still here, like a starving man at a buffet.”

“It’s ok. I’m not going to disappear,” Maddie whispered, reaching out and brushing a tear off of Cas’s cheek. He hadn’t even realized he’d started to cry until her gentle hands were on his face. 

Cas straightened and brought his own hands to his face in embarrassment. He hardly knew the girl and he was crying like a baby in front of her. 

“I’m sorry, that was…I’m sorry.”

“No. You had to get that out, and I appreciate the candor. It’s a good thing you don’t want to dominate me though, because that’s the last thing I want from anyone.” She rotated her upper body to check on Marshmallow and run a feather-light hand down her head and back, smoothing down the fur that was already lying flat.  

“So what do you want?”

Maddie had never been asked those types of questions before meeting her brothers and the Novak twins. Her father never would have even considered the possibility that her wants and needs weren’t identical to his own. He would never have let her pursue any of her own goals or dreams, so she never bothered having any. What did she want?  

“I like this house,” she began. “I like my brothers. I like you and your brother. I like feeling safe. I also like helping people. I like being a hunter…so I guess I want to keep being a hunter. Maybe I could hunt with Dean sometimes though. Maybe I don’t have to live on the road. Maybe I could crash here when I’m hurt or looking for a case."

That last sentence was hesitant while she looked over towards him as if asking him if that would be alright. Cas’s face lit up. 

“I think that could be arranged. I think that would make everyone happy. I know I am.”

“Because I’m not going to disappear like a whisp of smoke?” Maddie asked. 

Cas hummed softly in agreement. 

Maddie noticed him staring at her arm closest to him. He was looking as if he wanted to reach out and touch it, but was holding himself back because he respected the fact that she didn’t like physical contact. What he didn’t know was that she was fine with physical contact as long as she was doing the touching and could control the situation. 

She wordlessly opened her arms which made Cas’s eyes go wide. He leaned forward slowly, as if nervous he were going to startle her like a wild rabbit and she’d go running. Eventually though, he was leaning into her and her arms were wrapped around him. She was warm and comforting in a way that Cas had never experienced. It was almost a maternal warmth, but it went deeper than that. It made his cheeks burn bright pink as he felt his insides slowly heat up and begin to tingle, starting in his chest and migrating downward to his groin. God, she smelled nice too. He doubted she had any sort of commercial perfume in one of those duffel bags, but her natural scent was…good. It was like a breeze from the top of a mountain carrying the cold scent of grass and wild flowers and freedom. 

Maddie noticed the tenting in his pyjama pants and bit her lip. That was the second time something she’d done had made him hard. Was that a sign? Did he like her? 

Maddie didn’t have experience dominating. She’d seen others do it, especially on the pornos her Dad liked to rent, and he’d forced her into the receiving end of some experimental stuff, but she’d never tried her hand at it. 

It seemed like something she could stomach. It might just be the only way she’d ever enjoy having sex. She was pretty sure she’d never let anyone fuck her ever again, even if it were on her terms.

He was married to her brother! Maddie silently shouted at herself. How could she think of dominating her brother’s husband? 

No sooner had she considered disengaging in the situation when Cas slid down in her lap, so his head and shoulder were pillowed by her thighs. He was turned outward at the TV pretending to watch it, so she couldn’t see his face entirely, but she could see the blush on those high cheek bones. It was hot. 

Maddie adjusted her arms so they weren’t pinned underneath his body. One naturally went to the crown of his head as she began stroking her fingers through his hair like she did with Marshmallow. The other hand went to Cas’s shoulder. She began stroking down his shoulder to his hip as well like she did with her dog. She couldn’t help it. He reminded her so much of her Marshmallow in that moment, lying so peacefully, so still and calm under her touch…so obedient. 

Cas risked a glance up to find that Maddie was staring right at him. She brought up one of her hands into his line of sight, hand open, palm down. Then, painstakingly slowly, she turned her hand over so it was palm up. Cas had seen her do that before. She’d been telling Marshmallow to roll over onto his back. 

With no hesitation, Cas used his abs and legs to rotate his body so his back was flat on the couch, his shoulders were flat on her thigh, and he was staring straight up at into Maddie’s grinning face.

Chapter Text

Maddie lay her hand on Cas’s chest lightly, tentatively, like he’d crumble if she applied too much pressure. Her other hand was still wound into his hair, and she tightened her grip gradually, giving him plenty of opportunity to stop her or pull away. He didn’t though. He stayed perfectly still and watched her face carefully as her tongue wet her bottom lip.

Her hand smoothed across his chest, brushing his pecs and the hardening nipples adorning them. Maddie’s fingers lingered there. She couldn’t stop her eyes from flicking to his face every few seconds to make sure he was ok with what she was doing. He showed no signs of discomfort or hesitation.

Maddie’s touch was experimental. She’d never had anyone give her unfettered access to their body before. All of her previous sexual experience was quick and forced and altogether unpleasant. Even if she had been given the time and opportunity before, she wouldn’t want to explore her Dad’s body, not like this. Cas was still and his wide eyes looked up at her with complete trust as she swirled her fingertips around and around his hardening nipples. She’d heard nipples hardened in response to arousal, but she’d never seen it. Her own only responded to the cold.

Cas’s breath caught in his chest when her hand slid up to his throat and rested there for a moment before her fingertips started tracing his adam’s apple and the lines of his esophagus. She didn’t wrap her hand around his neck the way his body was silently begging for her to do, but he didn’t complain when she moved on back down his chest.

Cas shuddered when her hand found his lower abdomen and pressed down lightly. He didn’t make a sound though, even when Maddie paused to check his face. His eyes were closed now, but his back arched into her touch, lifting his hips, begging for more.

She left the sensitive area and ran her hand along his sides, feeling the muscles ripple as he tried to push into her, following where she went.

Maddie couldn’t reach all of his legs, but she did run her hand around each of his thighs one at a time before letting her fingers rest on the inside of his leg, incredibly close to his straining cock.

When almost a minute passed and she hadn’t moved, Cas opened his eyes to see what had made her stop. He turned his worried gaze to Maddie to find her chewing on her bottom lip and staring at the tent his cock was making in his pants.

“It’s ok,” he murmured, hardly opening his mouth as he slowly lifted one of his hands to place over hers. She didn’t resist as he guided her palm to cup his cock.

He bit back a gasp at the touch even though he was the one directing it. Maddie didn’t need much direction once she’d made contact though. Cas’s hand fell back to his side when her fingers twitched and started tracing the outline of his cock through his pyjama pants. He wasn’t wearing underwear, he rarely ever even wore pants to bed, but Maddie didn’t seem to care.

Cas watched her expression shift from cautious and closed off to curious and something more intense that he couldn’t put a name to as she felt him through his clothes. Maddie looked into Cas’s face to make sure he was still ok with her touches and found him watching her with that little smile on his face.

Her hand seemed to move of its own volition as it found the edge of his waistband. She paused, but Cas showed no signs of stopping her as her fingers crept under his waistband until she felt his smooth, warm skin. That was when the footsteps started down the stairs.

Maddie retracted her hand immediately, and Cas bolted upright and away from her. They both sat stiff as statues, three feet apart on the couch, eyes trained on the muted TV as Sam walked into the room, bleary eyed and confused.

“Cas?” he said, his voice rough from sleep as he rubbed his face.

“I’m here, my love.” Cas stood up and went to his husband, wrapping his arms around the sleepy boy.

“Why are you here?” Sam asked, looking at Maddie and Marshmallow and the TV.

“Maddie couldn’t sleep. I went to check on her and just found her a second ago. Everything’s alright, nothing to worry about.” He gave Sam a little kiss which made him smile and burrow into his master’s warm embrace.

Cas looked over Sam’s shoulder at Maddie who was watching them with an unreadable expression. He felt guilty and he was compensating. Anyone with eyes could see that. Maddie had to wonder if he’d been feeling guilty the entire time he’d lain on the couch and why he’d let her go so far if he had.

That didn’t matter now though. Cas walked Sam back up to bed after murmuring something about seeing Maddie in the morning, and she didn’t see either of them the rest of the night.

Half an hour after they’d gone, Maddie took Marshmallow out to pee before they made their way up to the room they’d given her. She’d hopped into the shower and refused to leave for a full hour. She’d never experienced such heavenly water pressure with consistent heat, and she was determined to enjoy it. Once she was done and had triple checked that the door and windows were locked, she curled up on the bed with Marshmallow where they both slept a few hours.

She awoke on her own just as the sun was rising and sat in the window box seat to watch the sky change from dark blue to pink to orange to yellow to pale blue. She must have sat for an hour before there was a light knock on the door and a tentative male voice, Dean.

“Maddie…are you awake?” His voice was soft but not weak. He just didn’t want to wake her if she was asleep.

After considering pretending she was still in bed and remembering she’d have to join them eventually, Maddie uncurled herself from her seat and drifted over to open the door.

Jimmy was standing behind Dean, but Cas and Sam were nowhere in sight. The two boys here were fully dressed for the day. Maddie was still in the crop top and shorts she’d thrown on after her late-night shower.

“Oh good! You’re up!” Jimmy said excitedly.

Dean smiled at her, relief that she hadn’t left in the night written all over his puppy-dog face. “We were just going down for breakfast if you want to join us. I think Sam and Cas were going to request eggs and bacon, but you can have whatever you like! Marta’s real good at making pancakes and waffles, and we have cereal if you prefer that, and-”

“Ok,” Maddie cut her older brother off. “I’ll be down in a minute. Let me brush my teeth and change?”

He nodded and stepped back. Maddie saw Jimmy put a supportive hand on her brother’s shoulder before she shut the door and felt a little bad about cutting him off. She didn’t need a list of all the food in the house though, she’d find something. She always did.

Maddie made her way to the bathroom and washed her face before brushing her teeth and then her hair. She changed into the fresh jeans and ragged t-shirt she’d brought and grimaced at her reflection before heading out.

Marshmallow walked beside her happily downstairs and into the kitchen. A man, the boys’ butler if she remembered right, offered to take Marshmallow outside with Marx, and she nodded even though that meant she had to step into the kitchen on her own. She took a deep breath and ripped off the bandaid, pushing the door in and entering unceremoniously.

Maddie’s smug grin was unsettling.

To three of the four boys seated around the table, it was an omen what she had planned for the day. To Cas…it was a reminder of what she had done the night before.

Cas and Sam had never talked about if their relationship was open or closed. They hadn’t needed to. Of course Jimmy and Dean were a part of their relationship, but outside of that had never been an issue before. Cas didn’t know how Sam would take it, and he didn’t want to rush things and freak out Maddie in the process. He would tell Sam how he secretly felt about his little sister…when the time was right.

“Do you like eggs and bacon?” Marta asked Maddie sweetly, holding a spatula and standing in front of the stove.

Maddie returned her genuine smile and nodded. “Scrambled please.”

Marta winked as Maddie sat down at the table next to Dean with Sam on his other side. Cas was sitting across from Sam and Jimmy across from Dean. She pretended not to notice how Cas’s eyes followed her a little too closely.

“Mornin’,” she said by way of greeting.

Sam leaned around his older brother to smile at Maddie. “You stayed!”

She shrugged in response. “You have good water pressure.”

Dean shared a conspiratorial look with her. “Isn’t it amazing? These two had to threaten to make me pay part of the water bill before I stopped taking four hour long showers.”

Four hours was a bit overkill in Maddie’s opinion, but it made her feel better that her one hour showers would probably be ignored if her brother had set the “overkill” bar at four hours.

“Did you sleep?” Cas asked softly.

Maddie met his gaze and saw something in his eyes that she’d never seen before. It wasn’t exactly pity, which was the closest word she had to describe it, but something kinder, more intense.

She nodded. “Eventually.”

“Was there something wrong with your room?” Jimmy asked, concerned she was uncomfortable in their home.

“No, I just…” Maddie didn’t have the words to finish that thought. Her life was so severely fucked up, her sleep schedule was the least of it. She didn’t know how to explain to such an innocent boy that her body hadn’t experienced real rest perhaps since she was an infant and didn’t know how to settle down.

“It takes time to adjust to a new home,” Cas said, covering for her.

Maddie’s look was sharp, and it genuinely took Cas a moment to figure out what he’d said wrong.

“Not home!” he exclaimed, realizing which word had upset her. “Just…you know…the closest thing to a home you’ll take…”

She sighed but didn’t pick it apart further. “Is there any coffee?”

“I’ll start a pot right now, dear,” Marta chirped from the stove.

“Let me.” Maddie stood, finding the fancy coffee maker on the counter. “It’s no trouble if you can show me where the grounds are.”

Marta liked Maddie. She was polite and helpful and made the boys happy. Marta smiled and pointed to the cabinet above the machine where Maddie found ten different bags of fancy coffee grounds to choose from. She had no idea what the difference was, but they all had caffeine, so she picked one at random and went about figuring out how to work the complicated machine.

There was also a component that steamed and frothed milk to add to the coffee, but Maddie preferred her coffee black, so she didn’t bother figuring that part out.

Once she had her cup, she turned to the rest of the boys, pot in hand. “Anyone else?”

“No, thank you,” Sam answered first. He liked coffee well enough, but it always made him jittery, and he didn’t need that right now.

Neither did Jimmy, but that didn’t stop him.

“Yes!” Jimmy exclaimed. “With five spoons of sugar.”

Maddie lifted an eyebrow, but Cas corrected him before she could voice her apprehension.

“None for him.” Cas put a hand on his twin’s shoulder to quell protests, and Jimmy quieted down. “I’ll take a cup though. Two sugars, please.”

She nodded wordlessly and started pouring.

“I’ll take a cup too, if you don’t mind,” Dean added.

He didn’t specify cream or sugar, so Maddie assumed he wanted it black. In reality, Dean was trying to figure out a manly way to say that he liked his coffee sweet with flavored pumps and fancy drizzles. He didn’t complain though when Maddie put a cup of pure, bitter Colombian dark roast in front of him.

She set Cas’s cup in front of him, trying to meet his eye, but he’d suddenly found the tablecloth incredibly interesting and worth a close inspection. Maddie shrugged it off and found her seat again after putting the coffee grounds and sugar away.

Marta brought their food over soon after, handing them their individual plates with their eggs just how they each like it. Maddie made sure to eat slowly with her knife and fork so she didn’t seem like the starving street orphan these boys thought she was.

Dean took one sip of his coffee before frowning into the cup with regret. In one glance, Cas could tell Dean didn’t like his coffee that bitter, and, without a word, he gently took the cup out of Dean’s hands and replaced it with his own. He only had two scoops of sugar, but it would be a bit better. Dean flashed him a grateful smile, his shoulders relaxing as he went about the rest of his meal, eating as sloppily as he always did.

“So, how is it?” Jimmy asked Maddie conversationally, using his fork to point at her plate.

She shrugged. “It’s good. Nothing compares to highway diner all-day breakfast, but this is good too.”

Both Dean and Sam’s faces lit up. Diner breakfast was one of the highlights of their childhood.

“What was your favorite thing to order?” Sam asked excitedly.

“When I got to pick, I always got breakfast sandwiches with egg and sausage and cheese on a bagel,” she replied.

Dean’s brow furrowed and the previous words he was about to say died on his tongue as he repeated, “When you got to pick?”

“Yeah. When I was playing second fiddle to you two, Dad would just get me whatever was cheapest that he could bring to me inconspicuously. That is, if he bothered to get me anything at all.” Maddie shrugged and took a long drink of coffee like it was the most normal thing in the world. “When it was just me and him, he usually let me pick though.”

The boys were quiet for a minute, trying to figure out what you say to something like that, so it was up to Maddie to break the silence.

“What did you two get?” she asked awkwardly. She wasn’t used to holding casual conversation, but she knew that returning questions was polite.

Eager to move past her disclosure, Dean grinned widely. “Pancake burrito. Ask for an extra large chocolate chip pancake - the chocolate chips part is essential - fill it with eggs, bacon, sausage, and hashbrowns, wrap it up, and cover that bitch in maple syrup.”

Maddie made a face. “So it’s a heart attack on a plate?”

“No.” Dean frowned. “That’s the triple patty bacon burger with nacho cheese sauce.”

Sam shook his head in disgust, but Jimmy looked excited. “Pancake burritos sound like the best idea ever.”

“I’ll make them for you sometime,” Dean offered.

Sam was about to give his answer to Maddie when he noticed Cas watching her intently. There was something in Cas’s gaze that made him pause and linger a moment longer than he had to. He couldn’t decipher what was in that look, but if he didn’t know any better, he’d think it was awful similar to the way Cas looked at him.

He made a mental note to ask Cas about that some other time.

Sam cleared his throat. “I…uh…I usually just ordered an omelette at those diners.”

“Yeah, an omelette…with vegetables,” Dean added as if it were a sin against God himself.

Maddie’s brow furrowed as she took another bite of her breakfast. “Omelettes usually come with vegetables.”

Dean shook his head and held up a hand. “Not the good ones.”

Sam was fighting not to be offended. He should be used to his brother’s opinion on vegetables by this point. “So what’s in a ‘good’ omelette?”

“Cheese, bacon, and onions.” He listed them and counted them out on his fingers before thinking for a moment. “And sometimes potatoes.”

“Onions and potatoes are vegetables!” Sam exclaimed.

Dean gave him a hard look. “First of all, potatoes are starches. And they’re both honorary carbs!”

“Technically, all foods have some carbs in them. Even vegetables,” Maddie informed them.

Cas watched them with a sad smile, feeling the same way he did back in the restaurant when the Winchester siblings were bonding over things children should never have to go through. He was glad they were getting along and Maddie seemed to be everything the brothers had hoped for since learning of her existence, but he couldn’t keep the ache out of his chest that had started growing the moment he met her and had become nearly unbearable last night. He tried to convince himself it was just overwhelming sympathy about everything she’d been through as a child and that it wasn’t connected to the flutter in his chest or the heat he felt in his core when she was nearby.

Marx and Marshmallow came running into the kitchen after their walk and headed straight to their bowls which had been filled with kibble.

Marta cleared the table after they’d finished eating, but the boys stayed in their seats to discuss plans for the day.

“So what do you want to do with us today, Maddie?” Jimmy asked excitedly. “We have plenty of ideas to pick from!” Cas gave him a look, and Jimmy tried real hard to suppress himself so he didn’t freak her out. “We’ll do whatever you like though. We’ve just got suggestions if you don’t have any ideas.”

Maddie shrugged. She honestly had no idea what people did for fun. She hadn’t taken any time off in her life. “Whatcha got?”

Jimmy lit up and pulled a scrap of paper out of his pocket with a list of the ideas the boys had come up with the night before. “Ok! First up, the movies. Then, we’ve got mini golf and/or touring Stanford. There’s also going to the pier or just on a walk. We could find a petting zoo or go to a museum or find a live theater performance. We could go swimming or get ice cream or-”

“That sounds good.” Maddie stopped Jimmy with a raised hand.

“Ice cream?” he repeated as he glanced at his twin. “Just ice cream?”

Cas just shrugged at him.

“That won’t take very long Maddie,” Sam explained. “We’ve got the whole day. Isn’t there anything else you’ve always wanted to do?”

That Dad wouldn’t let you, were the unfinished words he hadn’t said but were heavily implied.

She shrugged. There was a lot she wanted and couldn’t have. She’d never thought about it seriously enough to know what she wanted to do most.

“Any of that would be acceptable.” She paused, then remembered some of the things he’d listed. “Except the petting zoo or museum things. Or the theater. I’m also not crazy about swimming.” 

They checked to see what movies were playing in theaters and concluded that none of them were worth going to see, so they decided on going to show Maddie around Stanford before going mini golfing and finishing the day with a brief walk on the pier to get ice cream.

>< >< ><

The day went about as smoothly as it could have. No one was kidnapped. No one robbed anyone. No one got upset and ditched the group. The boys had found that the best way to avoid Maddie’s irritation was to avoid talking about the future or the past. They kept conversation on the present and everyone had a good time.

During their tour around Stanford, Maddie saw some of the labs Jimmy worked in and a few classrooms and libraries Sam used most. Sam had the idea for Cas to show Maddie the student art studios, but he’d dodged the suggestion, saying it was a mess and wasn’t that interesting anyway.

In reality, he just didn’t want any of them to see the painting he’d been working on in class. It was a portrait of Maddie he was making from memory that he’d started the second the school year began.

The whole day, Cas had been stealing glances at Maddie, trying to figure out if she also felt sick to her stomach every time she looked at him since last night. It wasn’t a bad sick, it was…new. With each of Cas’s cryptic looks Sam noticed, he grew more confused. He was usually good at deciphering what Cas was thinking. He was usually a simple and open man, but these looks…

After they got ice cream, the limo that had blown Maddie’s mind when they first showed her came to pick them up and take them home where they decided on watching a movie in the living room.

Dean and Jimmy cuddled up on the love seat immediately, and Sam sat on the couch, patting the seat next to him for Cas. Cas was looking at Maddie though, trying to determine where she was going to sit.

Maddie had avoided Cas’s gaze as much as she could throughout the day. She didn’t understand the feelings she had last night when he’d let her touch him, and she didn’t like what she didn’t understand. She also had no idea if he had told Sam yet or if Cas somehow blamed her for what they’d done and was upset. So she avoided him as much as possible.

When the time came to pick a seat to watch the movie, she saw the armchair in the corner of the room and beelined for it. It was large and comfortable looking, but the best part was that it only had room for one person. Maddie plopped down and pulled her knees up to her chest before focusing her eyes on the TV and refusing to move them.

Cas sighed and sat beside Sam. He had hoped she would sit with them. There was plenty of room on the couch, but it seemed like she didn’t want anything to do with him. He would believe it if he didn’t catch her occasionally glancing at his crotch pensively throughout the day.

She was thinking about what they’d done, he knew it, and the look on her face wasn’t disgust or regret, it was hunger.

They were all pretty tired from the day, so there wasn’t much conversation about the movie while they were watching. No one even commented on the attractive men that conveniently had to take their shirts off and reveal rippling muscles and sweat-slick skin.

When the movie finished, Dean had fallen asleep against Jimmy’s shoulder, and Sam was blinking sleepily. Cas and Maddie finally made eye contact and held it for more than five seconds for the first time that day.

Neither one said a word until Jimmy gently shook Dean’s shoulder and smiled to his twin, saying, “Bedtime?”

Sam nodded and let Cas help him stand. Sam helped Jimmy tug Dean up and all four boys trudged upstairs to get ready for bed. Maddie wasn’t nearly as tired as they were. She’d needed to work for three days straight, so her idea of tired was a lot different than theirs. Not to mention the energy between her and Cas that was downright electric that had her insides feeling all topsy turvy.

Knowing she wouldn’t sleep for a while still, Maddie went to the library the boys had shown her on her tour of the house the day before. They’d told her she could borrow any of their books, and she was taking them up on the offer now. She picked some mystery novel and went back to her room with Marshmallow to get into bed.

Marshmallow laid calmly at the foot of her bed as Maddie started the book, all cozy under the covers with just the lamp on the bedside table on. She’d been reading for almost an hour before there came a light knock on her door.

“Come in,” she called out softly, not wanting to wake anyone that was asleep.

She hadn’t expected him, but she wasn’t entirely surprised when Cas opened her door with a serious expression on his face.

“We need to talk.”

Chapter Text

The boys had gone to bed without so much as a frisky touch. They’d had a long but amazing day with Maddie, and it was past midnight when they finally settled into bed. Dean had fallen asleep with Sam in Sam’s room talking about their sister and how they all had the same favorite flavor of ice cream (it was the one thing the two brothers could agree on their whole lives), and Cas had left them there to make sure Jimmy got into bed alright as well before heading to his own room. 

He hadn’t stayed there long before his incessant thoughts of Maddie drove him to the source of his torment. 

Cas had stood outside Maddie’s door for well over ten minutes before gathering the courage to knock. 

“We need to talk.” He silently cursed himself after the words left his mouth. Could he have chosen a worse way to start the conversation?!

Luckily, Maddie didn’t seem anymore troubled than she already was. “About what?” 

He slipped into her room and shut the door behind himself. The room and its occupant were awash in buttery warm light from the lamp beside her. Marshmallow lifted her big head sleepily when he came in and wagged her tail half-heartedly.

“About last night.” Cas came a little closer to the side of the bed she was curled up on.

Maddie shut the book and sat up, nodding like she knew that’s why he was here. She swung her bare feet to the floor, and Cas had to try hard not to stare at the milky white skin on her legs decorated with scars. 

“I-I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have…done what I did. You’re married to my brother for fuck’s sake, and I-” Maddie cut herself off when Cas dropped to his knees in front of her. His feet were flat against the ground, perfectly under his ass. His knees were spread exactly shoulder-width apart, and he placed his hands flat on his thighs, palm down. Cas kept his shoulders back, in line with his perfect posture, but bowed his head in a beautiful display position. Maddie blinked in surprise. “What are you doing?”

“I need more.” Cas’s voice was soft but decisive. He was sure. 

“More?” She slid to the edge of the bed and braced herself with her feet against the ground as she leaned forward and reached out tentatively. 

Cas nodded but froze when Maddie’s fingertips went to his chin to tilt his head up with a feather-light touch. He met her intense gaze and tried to silently beg her not to kick him out of her room with just his eyes. 

“Maddie…” he panted. “The feel of your hands on my body, and not even my bare skin…I never liked being submissive before because I don’t like feeling owned, but you…you make me feel warm, safe…like I belong.”

Maddie shook her head, unsure what to say. “You do belong, Cas…to my brother. Sam is your husband . If you want to feel warm or safe or like you belong, you should be going to him for that.”

“I love him. I do. I just…I don’t know. I liked it.” He tried to lean into her hand, desperate for more contact with her palm, but she dropped her hand to her lap.

“So what? You want to do it again?” she asked, mind spinning with confusion. She liked him, sure, but he was married to Sam. She knew they weren’t in a closed relationship, at least not just the two of them. There was something more with all four boys, but she didn’t want to get in the way of that. There was a reason they were talking one on one and not in a group right now. Sam probably didn’t know. She didn’t know how she felt about doing something behind Sam’s back. 

“I don’t know.” Cas shook his head and relaxed his posture, slumping with the weight of uncertainty. “Can you at least tell me if you liked it too?”

Maddie angled her head at him, narrowing her eyes. “Short answer, yeah, I liked it. I liked the way you held still and let me tough you wherever I wanted.”

Her direct words sent shivers down Cas’s spine and he lit up hearing that she liked it too. Before he could get too excited, Maddie held up a hand. 

“Long answer, I’ve got control issues, Cas. I’m going to like any amount of control given to me, and if you keep giving me control and let me go down this road, I’ll start taking control, and I won’t stop until you’re nothing but a lifeless body with puppet strings and stuffing coming out your ass.” Maddie had started shaking, and she pressed her palms into her eyes. “As much as I like controlling others, I can’t control myself, alright? You don’t want this. I promise you.”

Cas’s heart hurt. She really believed that about herself. He crawled forward and reached up slowly to take her hands away from her face. Surprisingly, she let him. 

“I’m not scared, Maddie.” Cas held her hands between his, and tried to get her to look at him so she could see how much he meant it. “It doesn’t have to go that far. Trust me, I can stop you if I need to. You don’t have to worry about hurting me. Obviously, we’ll need to have some conversations before we do certain things, and we’ll take it slow, but…I like being around you. I like the feeling of your hands in my hair. And I know you liked it too. You were practically purring last night.”

He smiled a bit as he brought her hands to his face, placing them on both of his cheeks. She hadn’t started crying, not yet, but she sniffled as she finally looked at him and saw pure devotion in his crystal blue eyes. When she moved her thumbs to stroke his face, Cas dropped his hands back down to his thighs. 

Maddie cupped his face with one hand as her other slid upward to weave her fingers into his soft brown hair. 

Cas closed his eyes and savored her warm touch. “It doesn’t have to be more than this, Maddie. We can just…do what feels good.”

“Do what feels good,” she repeated faintly. Cas opened his eyes. “Would…would it feel good if I caressed your body again…without clothes?”

He groaned in anticipation as he nodded. Without being told, Cas reached down and took off his shirt, folding it nicely and setting in on the end of the bed. He stopped and looked at Maddie expectantly.

“Don’t stop,” she murmured.

He smiled and stood to strip his pants and boxers, folding those neatly too and setting them with his shirt. Cas held his arms out to the sides and was about to ask where she wanted him when she pushed him against the wall. 

Maddie stepped back and drank him in, taking in each detail of his lean but toned form. Her eyes traced a burning line over his abdomen and landed on his cock, which was already at attention. She thought he was beautiful. 

There were no words to describe the way the gentle lines of his neck and clavicle met the slope of his shoulders that melted into visible muscles in his arms and chest. There wasn’t a particularly defined V at his waist, but it was there, perhaps a bit hidden in the hair on his navel. In fact, the hair on his arms and legs partially obscured too much of his body for her liking. Maddie envisioned him with his body hair shaven and bit her lip to keep the moan in. Yes, she wanted to see him hairless very bad. She would let him keep the hair on his head though, she loved running her fingers through it far too much.

Cas stood still, moving only to tuck his arms behind his back. He could practically feel her gaze on him and he wished it were her hands so desperately, he almost broke position to go to her. He had trained enough submissives to know how to behave though, and he grit his teeth through the almost unbearable desperation and held still. For the first time in his life, he understood why his submissives had such a hard time remaining motionless. He had a new appreciation for them in this moment and was honestly impressed they’d done it so much better than him and he was only being looked at. He’d tantalized Sam for hours, leaving him in a display position, and Sam hadn’t moved an inch. 

“You’re beautiful,” Maddie breathed. Cas smiled, practically glowing at the praise. An invisible ball of light bloomed in his chest, radiating outward into each of his extremities, giving him a pleasant warm, tingly feeling all over.

She finally took a step forward and rested a hand on his hip, just above his waist. It took all of his self control not to sag into her touch. 

Maddie began exploring his body with feather light fingertips. She trailed a finger up from his abdomen to his chest, swirling around each nipple and sinking into the little indents of his collarbones. The way he held his arms behind his back pleased her in a way she didn’t know she could be pleased. She liked this.

Cas let out a little sound when her hands brushed the base of his neck, and Maddie quickly took note. Her hands crept upwards and encircled his neck, not squeezing, but holding. Cas tipped his head back and closed his eyes, his breaths coming faster now. 

“You like that, don’t you?” she purred. 

He nodded eagerly and whimpered as she added pressure with her thumbs on either side of his trachea. She knew exactly how hard she would have to squeeze to kill him, so she was able to keep her touch light enough that he’d feel it, but wouldn’t suffer any effects just yet. 

Maddie let go and dragged her hands down his torso, scraping her nails along lightly which made him shiver. They came to a rest on his hips once again, but instead of continuing lower, Maddie pulled him away from the wall and guided him to the bed. She hooked a foot around his ankle and pushed him back, forcing him to sit on the bed. He hardly blinked, arms still behind his back, hands clasping his elbows, looking up at her with wide, trusting eyes, waiting for further direction. 

Maddie smoothed his hair back, off of his forehead, before brushing the back of her knuckles down the side of his face. She cupped his chin and tugged down on his bottom lip gently with her thumb. Cas obediently let his mouth fall open as she slid her thumb along the inside of his lip and over his teeth. 

“So supple and pliant…” she noted softly, resting her thumb on his tongue. 

Her touch felt warm and more comforting than Cas could have ever imagined. She tasted like cinnamon, and though her hold wasn’t anywhere near possessive, he felt like he already belonged to her. He would do anything she asked of him in this moment. 

Maddie stroked her thumb back and forth over his tongue before pulling back, trailing saliva over Cas’s lip. He whined at the loss before he could catch himself and blushed with wide eyes to see if Maddie was upset. Some doms were strict about submissives making sounds out of turn, especially ones of disappointment or frustration, but it seemed that Maddie wasn’t that kind, at least right now she wasn’t. He was relieved to find her with that predatory grin.

Her fingers hovered at his mouth, but she didn’t immediately push them in to let him suck like he craved. Instead she stepped closer between his legs and cupped his face with her other hand, tilting his head up with a jerk until their faces were inches away. It was her first truly dominant touch, and he loved it. The suddenness made his heart flutter and heat spread through his core.

“You’re a good boy, aren’t you?” 

Cas shuddered at her breathy tone and the praise that made him feel like he was the most important thing in the world to her at that moment, and, if Maddie was honest with herself, he was. She didn’t realize it now, but all of her worries had disappeared. She was solely focused on this beautiful boy in front of her and the way he reacted so delightfully to her touch. 

“I’m trying to be, Ma-” He caught himself before he used her name, but he was only about to use it because he didn’t know what else to call her.

“ Mistress is fine for now,” Maddie supplied. 

“Yes, Mistress,” Cas quickly responded. “I’m trying to be a good boy for you, Mistress. I don’t…I don’t have much practice on this side of things, but I want to be good for you, Mistress.”

“And you are doing such a good job, baby boy.” 

Maddie’s praise combined with the nickname made him groan. He’d never known the power of being called “baby boy.” He’d used it so cavalierly before with no real idea of how deeply he felt it was changing his brain chemistry. He was her baby . He belonged. He mattered. She would take care of him. 

Smugness filled Maddie when she saw precum already leaking from his tip. Her lips were so close to his. He wanted to kiss her so badly, but he knew better than that. He knew that good submissives waited for permission to touch their masters.

“Open that beautiful mouth,” Maddie ordered, lifting her hand to his face again.

Cas parted his lips and she slid her pointer and middle finger over his tongue. She explored his mouth with swirling fingertips, dipping deeper and deeper with each slow, tantalizing pass. Maddie moved her other hand to cradle the back of his head to give herself more leverage as she followed his silky, warm tongue into his throat. 

Cas was able to take her fingers pretty deep in his mouth, but even he had his limits and gagged lightly on one pass of her fingers. Maddie’s eyes flickered in excitement at having found his limit.

“Good boy,” she hummed absentmindedly as she backed off slightly. The circles she made with her fingertips didn’t go as deep for the next minute, and then she made another deep pass that made Cas gag. 

He held his arms behind his back carefully, forcing himself to breath and let it happen. Involuntary tears welled up in his eyes when she touched the spot in his throat again, and his whole body clenched again in reaction. When Maddie did it a fourth time, she got a little wet sound out of him.

As delightful as this little game was, she had to remind herself not to push too far. There was time for exploring limits, but tonight they had simply agreed on letting her explore him.

“What a good sloppy little whore you are for Mistress,” Maddie murmured, pulling her fingers from his wet mouth with a quiet little pop .

Cas’s eyes were glassy and he had a dreamy little grin on his face. He liked the feeling of Maddie’s fingers in his throat very much, but he liked her praise even more. He hardly registered being called a whore because it sounded like praise coming from her lips. Cas knew some submissives liked being degraded, but this didn’t feel like degradation. 

Maddie jerked her chin at the bed. “On your belly.”

Cas scrambled to follow her directions, lying in the middle of the bed on his stomach, using his arms to pillow his head. She knelt on the bed beside him and continued her exploration of his body. 

She made two discoveries. The first was that Cas had several sensitive areas that made him twitch and gasp when she grazed them with her hands. The second was that she wanted to fuck him more than she ever wanted anything ever before. 

Maddie had gone over his back and legs before finally exploring Cas’s ass. She made him hold his own pert ass open so she could brush her fingers over his twitching little hole. She’d first dragged a single finger over it, and he’d shuddered which made her go back for more. Maddie swirled her fingers around and around, resting her other hand over the sensitive flesh between his asshole and the base of his balls.

Cas came the moment she dipped a spit slicked finger into his cunt for the first time. That was also the moment Maddie knew she wanted to fuck him. If he reacted this strongly to a fingertip…she couldn’t wait to see what would happen if she got a whole dildo into him.

“I’m so sorry, Mistress,” Cas apologized. “I didn’t ask permission, and I know I shouldn’t have let myself just cum like that, but I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it, I-”

Maddie put a warm, comforting hand on the small of his back to stop his babbling. “It’s alright, baby. You haven’t done anything wrong. There aren’t any rules for you to break yet. This is new, and I know my little whore just got too excited to contain himself, didn’t you?”

Cas blushed prettily and hid his face in his arms, but nodded.

Maddie tapped his butt, not hard, but with just enough force to simulate a spank. “I know I just said we haven’t established rules yet, but there is still basic respect to consider, and I asked you a question.”

“I’m sorry, Mistress. Yes, Mistress,” Cas replied, turning his head so his words were clear. 

“Yes to what, baby? Be specific,” Maddie chided with a catlike grin. 

He moaned softly. “Yes, Mistress, I got too excited to contain myself.”

“Good,” she murmured. Maddie rubbed his back. “I’m not upset, but that is something we’ll have to work on.”

Her words made Cas happy. She was talking about the future, a future with him . She’d taken to dominating him like a fish to water, and she was already making plans for future sessions with him. He smiled brighter than he ever had with her. 

Maddie narrowed her eyes. “And what are you so happy about?”

Cas turned a bit so he could look her in the eyes earnestly. “I’m happy that you stumbled into our lives and chose to stay, Mistress.”

She looked down and nodded silently, then reached behind her to grab his folded clothes. Handing them to Cas she simply replied, “Maddie is fine.”

The message was clear, she was done and playtime was over. 

She stood suddenly and went to the bathroom, needing some air and space. He was still her brother’s husband! What was she doing?! Maddie liked it a little more than she should have, and even though Cas said it didn’t have to go beyond whatever this casual exploration was, they both knew he was wrong. They’d both felt it. 

But she was a hunter . She had to keep going. Caring for others was a weakness. They could be used against you. Even if she did want to start something with Cas, it would have to be between hunting trips, and that was no way to maintain a relationship, whatever kind it would be between them. She couldn’t stay.

Maddie splashed her face with cold water, trying to stun some sense into herself. She’d wanted more, still did, but she couldn’t have it. Could she? Did Cas even want the same things? It sure seemed like he did when he came without even touching his cock. That was something she’d have to figure out tomorrow. For now, it was late and she was tired.

Smoothing her hair back, Maddie left the bathroom fully expecting Cas to be gone, but there he was, fully dressed, sitting on the edge of her bed. Marshmallow had jumped off when her exploration had moved to the bed, but now the rottweiler was sitting beside Cas, wagging her tail at the pets she was receiving. 

“What did I do?” Cas asked. He didn’t feel hurt that Maddie had left him, he honestly expected it to happen a lot sooner than it did. He just wanted to understand what exactly made her leave, so he could make sure it didn’t happen again. 

She didn’t reply at first, unsure herself.

“Was it when I came? Did that startle you? Freak you out? Because-”

“No, it wasn’t that,” Maddie interrupted. “It was…it was when you said that I chose to stay.” Cas pursed his lips. He should have known. She looked around, biting back tears. “I like this place, Castiel. I really do. I like you and your brother and my brothers. I like this …but I can’t…it can’t be something serious. I can’t get comfortable. Any time I get attached to anything, it gets ripped away from me, and I can’t…I won’t do that to myself.”

Cas was quiet. He stood and crossed the room to stand in front of Maddie with a little, reassuring smile on his face. “I’m sorry I made a poor choice of words that upset you. And I would say that ‘it doesn’t have to be something serious,’ but I think we both know that would be a lie. I’m not going to force you into anything you don’t want to be a part of, all I will say is that I really liked what we just did. If you liked it even a fraction as much as I did, consider what else we could do that you might like.”

Maddie had no words to reply to that. Perhaps it was just late and she was too exhausted to come up with anything or perhaps she was subconsciously trying to ignore facts that she didn’t want to admit. At any rate, she stood in the middle of the room mutely as Cas left her to her thoughts with a soft “goodnight” whispered just before he closed her door.

Chapter Text

Maddie found a spare set of sheets in the closet and changed them before going to bed. She didn’t know what to do with the cum stained sheets, so she left them in a pile on the floor near the door. 

Dean was a light sleeper, and Cas didn’t want to disturb him, so he cuddled up to Jimmy instead of Sam and Dean that night. Jimmy muttered something in his sleep, but didn’t wake up when Cas laid down next to him. Jimmy wrapped his arms around his twin as if it were second nature, and Cas was reminded of when they were young and it was just the two of them. They used to hold each other in their sleep all the time. Life was simpler back then. 

When Cas woke up the next morning, he saw that both Sam and Dean had crawled into bed with them sometime during the night. In fact, he had roused because Sam was grinding his ass against Cas’s hardening cock. He put a hand on his husband’s hip to still him making Sam look over his shoulder. Sam had a smug grin on his face, the kind that told Cas just what he wanted. He couldn’t give it to him though, not until he knew about Maddie. 

Cas opened his mouth, but found that he couldn’t form the words to tell Sam. His obedient boy looked up at him with those stunning green eyes, full of trust and eagerness.

“Good morning,” he said instead, wrapping his arms around Sam’s waist and pulling him close. 

“It could be a better morning…” Sam trailed off, wiggling his butt. 

When Cas didn’t react, Sam shifted down in the bed, the blanket over his head now. He wrapped his hand around Cas’s cock and dragged his tongue along the shaft before putting his mouth over the head. He had taken a deep breath and was fully prepared to swallow all of it and warm his master’s cock until they were ready to get up for the day, but Cas suddenly sat up and extricated himself from the bed. 

“I have to shower,” was all the explanation he gave. He’d turned away before Sam could see the guilt on his face. What was he doing? How could he do this to Sam?!  

Cas loved Sam. There was no doubt. He still wanted to dominate his boy, and he’d wanted to stay in bed and enjoy Sam’s hot throat around him, but some part of him worried that Sam would somehow be able to taste Maddie’s touch on his skin. His cock hadn’t been anywhere near her, but the ‘what ifs’ filling his head were enough to make him cut the intimacy short. 

He had to tell Sam. He would. Today. Maybe.

“What just happened?” Dean asked after the bathroom door closed behind Cas.

Sam’s movements had woken both Dean and Jimmy who were half aware of what Cas and Sam were doing until Cas had got up to shower. That woke the other two up fully. 

“Cas just turned down a blowjob…” Sam responded dumbly. “From me. ”

“Do you think he’s sick?” Dean asked, turning to Jimmy. They were twins. If anyone could understand Cas it would be Jimmy.

“He must be.” Jimmy sat up, concern all over his face. “Cas never turns down a cocksleeve. And he didn’t even invite any of us to shower with him.”

A silent tear streaked down Sam’s face. “D-did I do something?”

Dean wrapped his arms around his brother instantly. “Of course you didn’t, Sammy. You’re perfect. There’s no way you did anything wrong.” 

Sam sniffled and Dean kissed his forehead. 

“Even if you did, Cas would correct you,” Jimmy added. “He wouldn’t just leave you to guess. He’s probably just not feeling well.”

None of them said a word about it after Cas got out of the shower. If he wanted to talk, he would. The other three boys got ready for the day, but Cas was done first. He seemed eager to get on with the day and leave the bedroom that he usually relished being in with his boys. Sam hadn’t ever seen him this excited to get out of bed.

“I guess I’ll go get Maddie,” Cas said after he’d finished brushing his hair. The others were still getting dressed, but they were almost done. They’d only be a few seconds behind him. 

Cas didn’t wait for a response before heading down the hall only to find Maddie’s bedroom door slightly ajar. The bedcovers were messed up, she hadn’t made the bed, but that was the only sign she’d ever been there. She wasn’t here. Neither was Marshmallow. 

He ran back into his bedroom just as the others were walking out, nearly slamming into his twin in the process. 

“She’s gone,” he gasped, breathlessly. “Maddie’s gone.”

“What?” Dean took off past Cas with Sam on his heels to go see for themselves. 

Jimmy put his hands on his brother’s shoulders to steady him. “What do you mean she’s gone?”

Cas shook his head, fighting tears. “She’s just gone.”

He knew he shouldn’t have gone to her last night. He scared her off. She’d said she liked what they did, but that didn’t mean it hadn’t freaked her out enough to make her leave again. 

Dean and Sam came back to the twins after seeing for themselves that she wasn’t there. 

“Maybe she just went downstairs already,” Jimmy suggested. For once, he was being the voice of reason. There was a very likely chance she was already up. Maybe she’d just taken Marshmallow outside. 

When they went downstairs though, they didn’t see her there. They didn’t see Marta in the kitchen either. When they didn’t put in requests for meals, she just picked something she knew they liked, but she hadn’t started anything for breakfast. 

Just before any of them could voice the question of her whereabouts, Maddie entered the room.

“I gave her the morning off.” She was already dressed for the day, shoes and all, her hair was windswept, and she had a healthy flush to her face. 

Maddie set a paper bag down on the kitchen table and set about fixing her hair back into a braid. 

Relief flooded Cas making him sag, and he wanted to rush to her and wrap his arms around her to remind himself she wasn’t a wisp of smoke, but he didn’t. 

“Where did you go?” Sam demanded. 

She jerked her chin at the paper bag. “Took a morning ride to get the ingredients for pancake burritos. All shitty highway diner authentic.”

She ignored their open mouths and went to the cabinet to get plates out. Dean tore into the bag, pulling out containers of pancakes, eggs, sausage, bacon, and hashbrowns. Jimmy got the maple syrup and sat beside Dean to watch him demonstrate how to build a pancake burrito excitedly. Sam sat next to his brother, amused at the antics, but hesitant to actually eat anything Dean created. 

Maddie started a pot of coffee, and Cas came to stand beside where she leaned against the counter.

“You did all this for them?” Cas asked her softly. 

She shrugged. Her posture was still lazy and her eyes roved over the boys at the table nonchalantly but there was a glow in them that betrayed how much she liked seeing them this excited.

“Your eyes were lit up so bright last night, and I guess I just wanted to see theirs do the same,” she explained. “I figured pancake burritos was probably easier than trying to get each of them alone and fucking around until I can make them cum.”

Cas shrugged. “I think you’ll find it’s not that hard.”

Maddie’s face fell as she threw him a disapproving look. 

Did that disapproval mean she wasn’t into the others or that she just didn’t like him assuming she would be? Cas couldn’t take the words back, all he could do was apologize softly and take the coffee mug she proffered. He waited to sit down until she had her coffee too.

Cas hurried to pull the chair across from Dean out for her first which Maddie begrudgingly accepted. He took the seat next to her and scooted a bit closer, a movement that only Jimmy seemed to notice much to his confusion. Sam was too absorbed listening to Dean explain all the ways you can tragically mess up a pancake burrito.

Jimmy furrowed his brow and caught his twin’s eye before nodding his head ever so slightly at Maddie to ask in their silent twin language why Cas was suddenly so eager to be near Maddie. Cas couldn’t hide the truth on his face as he thought about what they’d done the night before. He wasn’t trying to tell Jimmy what had happened, but he couldn’t lie to Jimmy. He had never been able to in their entire lives together, so when Jimmy’s mouth dropped open, Cas could only shake his head and plead with his eyes for Jimmy not to say anything yet. He conveyed that he could explain and would, in time.

Jimmy sighed. He couldn’t gather many details from Cas’s guilty face, but he knew that Cas and Maddie had done something sexual in nature and by the guilty look, Sam didn’t know. Sam deserved to know. Jimmy would tell him if Cas didn’t, and he conveyed as much to his twin in their silent language. Cas’s nod was hardly perceptible, but it was enough to keep Jimmy quiet for now. 

“Here you are, baby sister!” Dean said, placing a sticky burrito on the plate in front of her. Maddie pursed her lips and looked at it. On one hand, it was disgusting. On the other, her newfound big brother put his heart and soul into it for her. 

“I made this one for you Cas.” Jimmy handed his brother a plate with a slightly messier pancake burrito. Jimmy was excited to make it for his brother, but his voice was flat now. 

Dean frowned and turned to study Jimmy. He could tell something was wrong, he just didn’t know what. Sam could also hear the change in Jimmy’s tone. He had to wonder if everyone was sick this morning. First, Cas had turned down a blowjob from him, then Maddie had gone out of her way to do something nice for them, and now Jimmy was enthusiastic about a sticky sweet breakfast. The world must be ending. At least Dean seemed normal enough. 

Well, he was until he read the email on his phone from an old friend of their Dad’s that said there was a rugaru in a town a couple of hours away. 

“Son of a bitch!” Dean flipped his phone over and quickened the pace he was eating at. 

“What’s wrong?” Sam asked.

“There’s a case. It’s bad. I’ve got to leave as soon as we’re done here.” He stopped shoveling food into his mouth long enough to address Maddie. “I’m sorry, sis, I know you’re only here for the weekend, and I really wanted to spend all of that time with you, but I have to help.”

His face was tight with pain. He loathed leaving during the time Maddie had agreed to stay with them, but there were people dying and he could save others. 

Maddie put down her fork and tilted her head sympathetically. “I’m coming with you. Are you dense?”

Surprise flickered across his face at the same time disappointment found Cas’s. Maddie had only agreed to stay the weekend, but he was hoping to convince her to stay longer today. He also had plans of explaining how he felt about her to the rest of the group. He wasn’t sure he could do it without her, and if she went with Dean…he would either have to wait or tell Sam on his own. 

“I can’t ask you to do that. It’s going to be dangerous…” Dean started.

“You’re not asking me to do anything. I’m telling you that I’m coming with you. As in, that’s not up for debate.” Maddie stood and dumped the rest of her pancake burrito on Jimmy’s plate. His face lit up which made her smile. “Go nuts, kid.”

Jimmy was definitely older than her, but calling him “kid’ just felt right. He could be plenty mature and serious, but he had a childlike curiosity and a levity to him that was reminiscent of a child at times. 

She took Dean’s empty plate with hers to the sink. “I’ll go grab my bag. Meet you outside?”

He nodded dumbly, unsure what else to say. He was excited to work with her, but he’d just found his sister, and he didn’t want to lose her to a deadly rugaru. She was right though, it wasn’t up for debate. They hadn’t known Maddie long, but they knew that once she put her mind to something, there was no changing it. 

“I’ll help you pack the Impala,” Sam offered. Dean nodded, accepting the help and the two left to grab supplies and some snacks for the road, leaving the twins at the kitchen table. 

Cas couldn’t meet Jimmy’s eye, he was afraid of what else his brother would see there. 

“What the fuck is going on with you, Cas?” Jimmy demanded. 

“I’m fine. What do you mean?” Cas replied, trying to play dumb. He didn’t want to go through this with his brother now. He didn’t know how he would explain his feelings for Maddie when he hardly understood them himself. 

“I mean with you and Maddie, dumbass.” Jimmy grabbed his twin by the shoulder, stopping him from turning away. 

“Watch it,” Cas warned, glaring at the hand on his shoulder, and giving Jimmy the clear understanding he was on thin ice with that remark. 

“No, you don’t get to ‘watch it’ me, not when you’ve been giving Maddie the sexed-up ‘fuck me now’ eyes all morning!” he exclaimed. “You don’t give anyone sexed-up ‘fuck me now’ eyes. You have dominant ‘you’re so getting it later’ eyes and ‘what a sweet boy, I should reward you’ eyes. This lost puppy dog, moony-eyed shit is new, and what’s more, Maddie didn’t shove you away when you sat maybe an inch away from her at breakfast. You’re my brother, and I’m not stupid. Something happened.”

Cas started doing the dishes to avoid answering immediately, but Jimmy stayed on him, standing beside his twin, waiting for the explanation. 

Sam and Dean saved him by walking in just then.

“Yes, Sammy, I have everything. Everything besides some beef jerky!” Dean shouted, opening a cupboard and pulling out a new pack of snack jerky. 

“You ready to go already?” Cas asked, turning away from both his brother and the sink, earning a glare from Jimmy.

Later, Jimmy mouthed to Cas. He would persist until Cas told him what was going on. They’d shared everything their entire lives, and it wasn’t just plain old stubbornness responsible for Jimmy’s doggedness. This wasn’t just about him and Cas. Sam and Dean had to be considered. It was their sister after all, and they were in this relationship with Cas. They had to know.

Dean nodded in response to Cas’s question, his mouth occupied with holding one bag of jerky while he used his hands to figure out which other flavors he wanted to bring. 

“I am too,” Maddie said, gliding into the kitchen, black duffel bag over her shoulder. “Dean, send me the address.”

He gave a thumbs up to show he had heard her. 

Cas crossed the room and resisted the urge to take her hands. “You’re coming back, right?”

The vulnerability in his voice made Maddie want to hug him. So she did. “Of course I am.”

Everyone was surprised when she wrapped her arms around Cas’s back. It didn’t last long, she let go and breezed out the door to get on her bike quickly, as if she were embarrassed with a brief, “Look after Marshmallow!” as a goodbye. She wasn’t used to showing affection like that, but it felt right. Cas’s face was just so worried and hopeful at the same time. 

“Oh my god, she has a heart,” Jimmy mumbled under his breath. 

Cas was doing his best not to let his relief and excitement show on his face. Especially when Sam nestled in his arms for comfort. He hated the hunter life but a not-so-small part of him was jealous that Dean got to spend this quality time with their sister. He knew it wasn’t doing something fun…well, Dean might consider it a little fun. Now that he thought of it, Maddie probably did too, that’s why they were still hunters, and he wasn’t. He was glad they had that though, something to share. He couldn’t stop the worry though that if something went wrong, he had more to lose than ever before. 

As if he could sense the worry on his little brother’s face, Dean came over before following Maddie and kissed Sam gently. He brushed a callused hand over Sam’s smooth cheek.

“We’ll keep each other safe,” he promised in a low voice. He pulled back just enough to meet Sam’s eyes. “We’ll be back. Promise.”

“You better.” Sam wiped at his nose. “Jerk.”

“Bitch,” Dean replied with that crooked smile of his. 

“Son of a fucking donkey’s cunt piss tits!” Maddie shouted from the garage. 

The boys turned in her direction, full of confusion. 

“You ok, Maddie?” Sam called.

She rounded the doorway holding a broken helmet. “I must have broken my helmet on that yellow-eyed demon job without realizing it. I only wear it on highways, so I didn’t need it in town.”

Dean frowned, not happy that their trip might be delayed. 

“You want to borrow my bicycle helmet?” Jimmy offered kindly. “It’s blue.”

Maddie deadpanned him. Instead of insulting him or his helmet though, she just answered, “No.” which was considerably kinder than the other responses she was considering. “I’ll just wear my goggles to keep the bugs out of my eyes and only drive fifty over the speed limit.”

“Maddie!” Cas exclaimed, horrified at the thought of her losing control and crashing. 

“Kidding!” She rolled her eyes and tossed her helmet into the trash next to her. “Thanks for the concern though, Mom .”

And with that not-quite-insult, she left the house for good, mounting her bike as she lowered sleek silver goggles onto her face and driving off following the directions Dean had texted her. 

The boys exchanged glances, but Dean had to go to, so he gave one last hug and kiss to each of the boys and got into his car to follow Maddie. 

Jimmy eventually wandered off in the house, muttering something about homework due. 

And then it was just Cas and his husband, and as it were, Cas couldn’t even look Sam in the eyes.