Work Text:
We be Sleepy
Wilm good morning dear family!
Wilm it is 6am, the day has just started, and i already wish to punt a child down the stairs!
Dadza Please don't, it would take forever to get the blood out of that carpet
Child IT'S SUMMER CAMP TIME BITCHES
Blade Is he supposed to vibrate like that
Wilm i have no idea but im about to make him stop for good
Child SIMPLY STOP BEING A PUSSY WILBUR HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THAT
Child COME ON LESS BITCHING MORE MOVING CHOP CHOP WE'RE GONNA BE LATE
Dadza Mate, please, it's too early for this
Child Philza Minecraft, the biggest man to have ever existed
Child stop being old
Blade How can he stop being old, he's like 60
Child techno, naive, sweet techno
Blade Please never say any of those words near my name ever again
Child being old is simply a state of mind
Dadza Tommy, I will assign you to Dream's group if you don't stop
Child NO NOT THAT BITCH
Wilm damn are you still angry about those disks
Child HE TOOK THEM AWAY FROM ME, THAT THIEF
Blade You stole two vinyls from dad's collection and brought them to the camp. Where they could've been broken because you were like, 8 and so were your friends.
Child HE TOOK THEM FROM ME BLADE
Blade He's a camp counselor?? It's his job?????
Child i fail to see your point
Wilm tommy, its been 4 years, just let it go
Child i will let it go the day i see that man behind bars for the crimes he committed against me
Wilm fucking christ, and you guys call me the dramatic one
Dadza Wil, last year you rallied the kids to stage a revolution. They trapped almost all of the counselors in the theatre room for hours.
Wilm and we wouldve gotten all of them hadnt it been for that traitor eret
Dadza You're the reason I'm going grey at 40
Blade I'm pretty sure the amount of caffeine you're consuming right now is not helping
Blade Seriously isn't that like, your third cup
Dadza I had to finish those group sheets mate
Dadza If the stress I get from you guys doesn't kill me the bullshit that is the yearly first week of camp will
Woman Philza Soot Craft.
Dadza Fuck
Blade Oh wow full name first thing in the morning? This is a new record
Wilm oooooooh someones in trouble!!
Woman Phil, dear, what did I tell you yesterday after dinner?
Dadza ... To not stay up too late filling in sheets
Woman And what did you do?
Dadza Stayed up late filling in sheets
Child LMAO GET HIS ASS KRISTIN
Woman Honestly, you do this every year. How have you not learned yet?
Wilm hes old, kristin, give him a break. his memory simply isnt what it once was
Child o7
Dadza That's it, Tommy I'm putting you in Dream's group
Child WHAT THE FUCK
Child WHY ARE YOU COMING FOR ME WILBUR IS THE ONE THAT STARTED IT
Dadza I don't need to punish Wil he's with the 9yo today
Wilm WHAT
Wilm PHIL WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO WHAT THE FUCK
Wilm PLEASE THEYRE TINY MENACES THEYLL ZERO IN ON ALL OF MY INSECURITIES AND LEAVE NOTHING UNSCATHED
Wilm DO YOU WISH TO PAY FOR MORE THERAPY FATHER BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN
Blade lmao sucks to be you
Wilm techno you work with dream. youll end up with tommys group
Blade Yes but 99% of the group is terrified of me so
Wilm damn you and your resting "i will murder you on sight if you even glance at me" face
Woman Who's that one percent that isn't?
Blade Tommy and Tubbo. Sadly.
Woman Yeah makes sense lmao
Child not that im not enjoying this immensely but can we go already???? chop chop family come on ive got places to be, camp domination to plan
Dadza Please don't cause another fire hazard. Please. I've got parents still making snide comments about the last one
Blade wasn't that one Tubbo's idea?
Child that was not a fire hazard
Dadza You somehow set fire to a bunch of leaves
Child it was a bonfire!! Tubbo had a bag of marshmallows in his backpack and i wanted smores
Woman It's alright, I stocked up on fire extinguishers this year
Wilm oooooh, the tiny ones?
Woman Yep!
Dadza Just get in the car before you give me more grey hair, you little shits
Getting to the camp on the morning of the first day was always an experience. Phil liked to arrive extra early, to check everything was in order and ready to go, have a quick debrief with all of the staff to ensure everyone was set and ready to go, and make a list of any last-minute supplies they might need in the nearby future.
Wilbur had conflicting feelings about these mornings. On one side, seeing the camp so calm was a strange but peaceful experience. On the other side, it was 7 am on a Monday, and no one in their right mind would be happy to be awake at such an hour.
The only other good thing about being there this early was that he didn't have to deal with any parents and their little hellspawns just yet. Well, aside from one, but that didn't count -Wilbur was so desensitized to Tubbo's presence in his general vicinity that he was easily able to tune him out.
"TOMMY!"
"TUBBO!"
Wilbur watched in faint amusement as a tiny, green blur tacked his little brother full force, sending them both sprawling to the ground in a mess of gangly limbs and brown and blonde hair. Normally, he'd be worried one of the two had gotten hurt in the tumble, but both kids were giggling like maniacs, so. Not his problem to worry about.
"Fuck, I wish I had their energy," Schlatt groaned, walking towards them with a thermos probably full of coffee in his hand. He looked about as happy as Wilbur felt about being awake this early which, fair enough, honestly.
"At least you didn't have to deal with a hyper Tommy at 6 am in the morning," he chuckled, swiping the thermos and taking a sip of his own. "I swear he kicked my door in so hard he must've broken a few hin- wait, is this bloody Monster??"
Schlatt burst out laughing at the bewildered look on Wilbur's face, stealing back his drink with a smirk.
"I couldn't be bothered to brew some coffee," he commented, "Puffy slept over at Niki's, so she couldn't bully me out of bed at a decent hour to get ready, and Tubbo just divebombed my bed until I got into the car. This was about all I could grab before he could try and physically carry me over."
"Fucking hell," Wilbur shook his head, chuckling, "Normally I'd call you a pussy for letting a child bully you like that, but Tubbo is fucking terrifying, man."
Schlatt raised his thermos in a silent cheer. "Tell me about it."
"Wil!" Phil called, making the two turn in his direction. Beside him, Dream, George, and Sapnap had all claimed a plastic chair and seemed to be happily snoring the morning away, with Bad standing behind them and shaking his head in amused disappointment. A little further away, he could see Niki, Jack, and the rest of the staff chatting with one another, all looking different degrees of awake and alert.
"Looks like it's your time to shine, camp boy," Schlatt snickered, patting him on the back. "Go on, be great. I'm going back home and passing out for the next four hours or so."
"Fuck you, man," Wilbur grumbled, watching as Schlatt merrily made his way back to his car.
"I'll make sure to catch some sleep for you too!" the man cackled.
Wilbur groaned, once again longing for the energy of his youth as he watched Tommy and Tubbo happily run around the main square, waiting for the rest of the kids to show up.
Well. Time to get this show on the road.
Working diligently, diligently working
Philza Rollcall, has everyone got their groups?
Bad Puffy and I are good! The kids are enjoying their morning snacks and we're planning to hit the sandbox after.
Puffy Bad looks like he's about to cry lmao
Philza Did something happen?
Puffy Nah Michelle just fell asleep in his arms
Bad She's a cute kid! And so shy, I'm just happy she trusts me
Blade It's too early for cutesy things, please
Philza It's too early for heart attacks, more like. Please let's get back on track?
Puffy Sorry lmao
Wilbur If you must know, father dearest, I have fallen victim to the evil schemes of these tiny menaces. All my possessions are to be distributed equally between Techno and Tommy, aside from my guitar, which I'd like to remain untouched and mounted on the wall, serving as a memory of a time in which I still lived and laughed in the house. Please scatter my ashes over the campgrounds, so that every time a child runs through this place, whispers of my memory will still live on.
Sapnap Fucking christ dude, I thought you'd gotten over your emo phase
Technoblade Oh trust me, emo Wilbur was way worse. This is just him being salty and sleep-deprived
Sam I'm pretty sure this is the only time I've seen Wilbur type with proper punctuation and capitalization for longer than a single sentence
Sam Impressive
Wilbur i changed my mind, all my possessions go to tommy
Technoblade Bruh, what a tragedy. How will I ever recover
Dream you got put with the 9yo didnt you
Wilbur i got put with the fucking 9yo
Sapnap LMAO RIP
Wilbur sapnap i will sick these kids on you
Sapnap Please don't I'm at the pool rn
George if I see a single child here before their assigned pool time slot I will personally make sure an accident happens and you drown in these waters, Wilbur Soot.
Wilbur terrifying threat, I will now steer very clear of that pool thank you!
George mh, that's what I thought
Wilbur guess I'll just have to sick them on dream then
Eret Why are you so set on sicking them on someone
Wilbur either i distract them with something or i lose my shit. do you want to see me lose my shit, eret?
Eret I mean, it would be kinda funny. Wait until I get back though, I wanna see
Wilbur well be quick, because no matter what happens, its gonna happen fucking soon
Dream works for me, i can just answer the attack by throwing tubbo and tommy into the mix
Wilbur did dad actually assign you to tommys group?
Dream yep. he hasn't stopped glaring at me since i got here
Wilbur lmao
Kristin You can't see it, but Phil just slammed his forehead on the desk and sighed very loudly
Bad Oops, sorry Phil!
Kristin Nah don't be sorry, this is incredibly entertaining
Philza Even my wife conspires against me. I really can't trust anyone here
Philza What the fuck
Jack I can kind of see where Wilbur got his dramatics from
Puffy You've only figured that out now?
Jack WHY AM I GETTING BULLIED TOO
Niki Jack. Less chatting, more paying attention to the kids.
Jack They're using toy ovens?
Niki Jack Manifold if one of the kids in your group gets even slightly hurt I'm sending you to explain it to their parents. Alone.
Jack Yes Niki sorry Niki
Philza Glad to see at least the 6yo are being taken care of
Wilbur theyre with niki, of course they are
Philza Niki is my favorite employee, sorry guys
Technoblade Fair
Dream fair
Sapnap fair
Bad Understandable!
Puffy She's my favorite too, so!
Niki :D!
Puffy :D!
Philza Alright, I've distracted you long enough. I'm assuming all other groups are fine, no one has been maimed, no fire extinguishers are needed, etc.
Philza Everyone get back to work, we'll do another quick roll call after lunch and then a staff meeting after the kids go home.
Despite what many would think, Technoblade didn't mind working as a camp counselor during the summer. Sure, he usually might not like hanging around people for entire days on end, but somehow, kids were different. He'd grown up at this camp, for one, especially since his family owned it. He knew all the counselors, most of the kids, and didn't have to deal with the anxiety of working with people he didn't trust at least a little bit. It was nice. It was familiar. And it could be fun, from time to time.
Techno snorted in amusement as he watched Tommy "accidentally" hit Dream square in the face during a game of dodgeball, high-fiving Tubbo behind his back as the poor man tried his very hardest not to swear out loud. Techno didn't know why he still tried, seeing as Tommy already swore every other sentence or so, but he still admired his tenacity.
He wondered how long it would take for Dream to break and start cursing at the heavens or try and bribe him into switching so that Tommy would have less of a chance to antagonize him. It had only been an hour since the official start of camp, so Techno gave him about until midday, maybe lunch. Dream was good at keeping his cool, but Tommy's ability to get under one's skin was unmatchable.
"Techno!"
The man made a curious noise as he heard Kristin's voice calling him, turning around to see what was going on. His mother grinned, waving at him in greetings as she approached with a kid in tow -a new addition, since Techno had never seen him around before.
"This is Ranboo," she introduced, gently pushing the new kid forward, "his parents asked if he could try out the camp for today, see if he likes it. Ranboo, this is Technoblade, one of your group's counselors."
"Hullo," Techno greeted, "It's not every day we get a new face around here."
"Yeah, it was very last minute," Kristin smiled apologetically. She gave Ranboo another gentle nudge and an encouraging nod.
"H-Hi," Ranboo whispered, "Um, I'm sorry I was late."
"Heh, it's alright," Techno waved him off with a grin, "I've seen people arrive later. No sweat, kid."
"Phil sent you his file, so you can check for allergies and stuff," Kristin said. "I'll let you introduce him to the rest of his group, and if you need anything-"
"-I'll get in touch, I know," Techno sighed. "It's not like I've been working here for years now."
"Cut the sass, young man," his mother grinned, pointing a finger at him, "You might be an adult now, but I can still ground you if I want to."
"Bruh, the disrespect in this family," Techno chuckled. "I've got it from here, don't worry. You better go before Phil either burns down the office or starts yelling at some parents."
Kristin's shoulders slumped. "I hate that you're right. Make sure Tommy doesn't make Dream quit before lunch, Phil might actually have a fit then. And Ranboo?"
The kid was startled at being addressed so suddenly, snapping to attention as he looked at the woman. Kristin grinned, gently mussing up his hair. "Have fun, alright? I'll see you at the end of the day."
"I-I'll try!" Ranboo nodded, bashful. "See you, miss Kristin."
Techno watched in amusement as his mother walked away, probably intending to get back to the office before Phil could actually lose his shit on someone. He didn't envy his father, to be honest -Techno had to deal with hordes of parents every afternoon as they came to pick their tiny menaces up, he couldn't even fathom having to do it for the entire day, cramped in a tiny office space while having to keep a smile on his face.
Ugh. He could feel his skin crawl just at the thought.
"Um," Ranboo piped up, grabbing Techno's attention. "Is... isn't that something you should be worried about?"
Techno looked where the kid was pointing, only to roll his eyes in amusement. Dream was lying on the ground, looking like he was contemplating all of his life choices as Tommy and Tubbo openly laughed at him.
"Nah, that's normal," he shrugged. "Just be thankful they aren't trying to drown each other in the pool this time."
"Uh," Ranboo blinked, confused. "That does not sound concerning at all."
Sarcasm, uh? Maybe he and the kid would get on better than he thought they would.
"Techno!" Tommy suddenly yelled, running in his direction with a giggling Tubbo in tow. "Did you see that? I totally destroyed that bitch Dream, I was so awesome, the biggest man ever-"
"Who are you?" Tubbo piped up, tilting his head as he stared curiously at Ranboo. The kid in question jumped, not looking too happy about being put on the spot. Relatable, honestly.
"I'm Ranboo?" he answered, taking a small step back.
"I've never seen you before, are you new?" Tubbo asked, taking a step forward.
"Ooooooh, new meat you say?" Tommy chortled, immediately getting into Ranboo's personal space. "What the fuck are you looking at, huh? Wanna fucking fight, you pussy?"
"You're the one that got in my face!" Ranboo exclaimed. "What did you expect me to stare at?!"
"Yeah, well, you're too tall, bitchboy," Tommy raised an eyebrow, refusing to back down. "ever considered just stopping?"
"Being tall????" the kid asked, baffled.
Tommy nodded sagely. "Exactly, glad to see you understand, Ranboob."
"Please don't call me that."
"Too late, Ranboob!" Tommy cackled.
"Want to help us play pranks on Dream?" Tubbo asked with a grin. Oh, Techno knew that look. He didn't like it one bit.
... Heh. as long as they didn't wreak havoc where he could see them, he didn't care.
"Tubs, big man, we don't need any help," Tommy commented, oblivious to Technos' internal monologue. "Especially not from boob man over here."
"We can play better pranks if we've got someone doing lookout," Tubbo pointed out.
"Bruh, I'm literally right here, you know?"
Tommy squinted, ignoring the complaint. Tubbo squinted right back, rising an eyebrow in defiance. Technoblade, not for the first time, felt slightly unnerved about their ability to have silent conversations just through facial expressions.
"Alright, I guess I can see where you're coming from," Tommy finally conceded, "This and more to prank that bitch."
"I haven't even agreed to anything, yet," Ranboo complained. Techno patted his shoulder in solidarity. Once those two had their minds stuck on something, there was no way to make them stop.
"Come on!" Tubbo exclaimed, reaching forward to clasp his fingers around Ranboo's wrist. "We've got to plan!"
The kid stumbled forward as he followed the other two, throwing Techno a worried look. Ah, he was supposed to be the adult in charge, was he not?
Philza's mistake, not his. He'd never turn down an opportunity for chaos and his father damn well knew it.
"Just don't set anything on fire!" he called after them with a grin. "And make sure to not get caught!"
"Fuck you!" Tommy yelled back, his signature laugh filling the morning air.
Ah, yes. Camp had started indeed.
We be Sleepy
Woman Warning you guys in advance tonight is takeout night
Woman I don't think anyone here is going to have the energy to cook once we're home
Wilm damn, that bad uh?
Dadza You've got no fucking idea mate
Woman I had to stop him from fighting at least four set of parents, and we've been open for barely three hours
Dadza You could've just looked the other way and let me at them
Woman I could've, but sadly someone needs to be the common sense in this relationship
Dadza And you're so hot for that
Woman Damn right I am and never forget it
Wilm ew, parents flirting where we can see them
Blade The worst nightmare of every child
Dadza You're grown ass adults, the both of you
Blade I mean, are you sure about Wilbur?
Wilm oh fuck off
Blade Nah
Dadza Changing the subject
Dadza Techno, how's the new kid doing?
Wilm theres a new kid?
Woman Yep! His name is Ranboo and he's an absolute sweetheart. He's trying out today to see if he likes the camp
Wilm and you put him in tommys group
Blade Yeah, that might've been a mistake. Tommy and Tubbo kidnapped him three minutes in and they've been plotting ever since
Dadza Oh god, there's another one??
Woman I mean, he seems a tad calmer than those two? Hopefully his presence will keep the chaos to a minimum
Blade Eh, I don't know about that. That kid has got the backbone of a chocolate eclair
Child the fuck is a chocolate eclair
Wilm what the fuck
Dadza Tommy, I thought I took the phone off of you this morning? You know you're not supposed to have it on you during camp
Child bold of you to assume you could take the phone away from big man tommy
Child i just swiped it back when you were distracted by that rude woman!
Dadza Why do I still try
Child LMAO
Blade Tommy
Child yes bitchboy technoblade?
Blade Is your presence here in any way related to the sudden screaming I'm hearing?
Child ah, yes my man, you see
Child we've started a water balloon war!
Blade A what
Child a water balloon war! initially we wanted to just target the green bitch, but then sapnap and george ganged up on us so now its just an all-out fight to become the biggest man
Dadza Thomas Careful Danger Kraken Innit.
Wilm LMAO FULL NAME TIME
Child Philza Minecraft, Dadza, creator of hit game Minecraft, biggest man of them all, lets talk about this, shall we?
Dadza I'm too tired for this shit
Dadza Just make sure not to break anything. Or anyone
Child LET'S GO IVE GOT THE DADZA APPROVAL ITS CHAOS TIME
Child also Blade could I maybe convince you to come help me wreck sapnaps shit
Blade And do tell me, why would I ever do that
Child Because im your favorite brother and you love me so much?
Blade Try again
Child ill spam you until you do. and ill sick tubbo on you
Blade I'm coming, make sure you nerds don't get absolutely destroyed before I get there
Child FUCK YOU WE'RE THE BIGGEST MEN EVER WE'RE SO WINNING THIS
Blade So you don't need my help after all is what you're saying
Child we actully do bothg ggoy and snapmap ae ahainsr us
Wilm Tubbo?
Child i sotle tommys pgone while he was bsy yelling :D
Woman Fuck this, Phil we're going on lunch break and watching this go down
Dadza You don't have to tell me twice
The first thing Kristin and Phil saw, once they finally got to where the water fight was happening, was a cascade of colorful water balloons flying in every direction, drenching anyone that stood too close to the battlefield.
The second thing they saw was a mop of drenched pink hair stalking in their direction, a familiar head full of dark hair pressed securely against his side.
"Had to get him somewhere safe before more water balloons came for him," Techno gruffed, hurriedly pushing Ranboo towards them. Phil automatically moved to stop the kid before he could faceplant on the ground, looking confused. Then, he noticed the growing redness on the boy's arms, the way he was huddling close without a complaint, and remembered.
"Fuck, you're allergic to water," he swore, moving Ranboo even more out of the way of the battle. "Good call, mate."
"Okay, now that it's all sorted out, I've got some asses to kick," Techno said. "You've got it from here?"
Kristin nodded. "I'll go grab some balm from the office. His parents left us a tub of it, just in case something like this happened."
Techno nodded and turned around, ready to walk back into the fray.
"Technoblade?" Ranboo's voice piped up, stopping him in his tracks. He turned his head, giving the kid a raised eyebrow.
Ranboo gave him a determined look, the ghost of a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth.
"Hit Sam with a balloon for me?"
Techno grinned back.
"You've got it, kid."
Responsible adults & their favorite tiny menaces
Snapmap why are yall literally so dramatic
Gogy I'm pretty sure it runs in the family at this point
Your Majesty To be fair, it was pretty entertaining to watch
Ghostbur glad to know this tale of death and betrayal was of your liking
Dreamy youre the one that decided to water bomb everyone on sight
Wife haver You were out of control, my son, lost in the madness of your mind
Wife haver You left me with no choice
Ghostbur im going to haunt your ass until the day you die, you traitorous father of mine
Gogy is that the reason for your new chat name
Ghostbur yes
Snapmap what is with the craft-soot family and channeling their inner theatre kids today holy shit
Orphans /neg Excuse you, don't lump me with these idiots
Ghostbur "do you want to be a hero, tommy? then die like one"
Ghostbur "alright, now we're gaming"
Ghostbur "the only universal language is violence"
Ghostbur "i choose blood" yelled at the top of your lungs might i add
Ghostbur i can keep going if you want, i have plenty more
Orphans /neg You really can't trust anyone in this family, huh
Orphans /neg Everyone betrays me
Wife haver Excuse me
Orphans /neg Everyone except Phil betrays me
Husband haver Ahem
Orphans /neg Everyone except Phil and Kristin betrays me
Big man YOU DECIDED TO GO FOR TUBBO, YOU BASTARD. LIKE HELL I WAS GOING TO LET YOU DO THAT
Orphans /neg He decided to betray us. You asked me to help you win, and that's what I did. I would've fought them all off for you, Tommy, and you decided to discard my trust for a man who threw you aside the second he could.
Chaos incarnate in ly defene sam promisd me mcdoinalds ifi joind them
Wife haver I'm not even gonna ask how you got your phone back
Chaos incarnate :)
Big man IT WAS TUBBO, BLADE
Orphans /neg Ah, yes. That's all I've always been to you, have I not? The "Blade", a weapon to use and discard once I've served my purpose. I'm a person too, Tommy, in case you've forgotten.
Generic bald man does anyone have some popcorn
Snapmap george has some but hes refusing to share
Gogy you snooze, you lose
Dreamy why do you even have popcorn in the first place
Gogy I always have a bag with me
Sam nook Why
Gogy we work in close proximity with the entire craft-soot family every day
Gogy id be more worried if something over-the-top dramatic involving at least one of them didnt happen every other day
Your Majesty honestly? fair
Ghostbur yes we are very dramatic we get it anyway
Ghostbur can we talk for a second about how serious techno got the second a water balloon came even remotely close to the new kid
Orphans /neg If you must know, Wilbur, Ranboo's allergic to water. Pardon me for looking out for a kid's well-being. You know, something we're literally paid to do
Ghostbur you can't fool me, dear twin 'o mine. i know a protective techno mode when i see one
Orphans /neg Stop telling people we're twins
Ghostbur stop changing the subject and admit you got attached to the kid
Orphans /neg I do not get attached. You know that.
Wife haver I mean, you did look quite protective there, mate
Orphans /neg Et tu, Phil?
Big man what fucking language was that
Orphans /neg Latin, you ignorant child
Big man FUCK YOU FUCK OYU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUKC YOU FUCK YOU
Sam nook The balloon that hit me square in the face would like to agree with the general chat consensus
Sam nook You've got some scary good aim when you want to
Ghostbur techno was out for revenge and boy did he get it
Orphans /neg Stop this. I've never gotten attached to a single kid here and I'm certainly not starting now. Especially with one I met only a few hours ago
Wife haver Keep telling yourself that, mate
Techno was set on keeping to his words for the rest of the day. He did not get attached, that was simply a fact -sure, he cared for the general well-being of the kids he worked with, but that was kind of a given, was it not? Their parents trusted the staff to keep their children safe and happy while they worked, and that was what Techno did. Nothing more, nothing less.
When Ranboo first joined the group, Techno made sure he was included, and that Tommy wasn't pushing his... peculiar way of showing affection too far. When the kid looked at him confusedly as he explained an activity, he made sure to go further into details until that expression disappeared.
When Ranboo got hit by the splash of a stray water balloon landing too close for comfort, Techno had made it his first priority to bring him somewhere safe, so that they could get the forming hives under control before it got too bad. And if he'd made sure to follow through with his promise of hitting Sam with a balloon, well, he would've never passed up the chance for some chaos.
So no, he was not attached. At all. And the way he'd immediately put the equipment he was holding down when he'd heard a familiar, soft voice coming from behind him meant absolutely nothing, shut up.
"Hi," Ranboo waved once he turned around, giving him a small smile. "Miss Kristin said I was good to come back."
"Hm," Techno hummed, gesturing for the kid to come closer. "How do your arms feel?"
From what he could tell, the redness on the skin was gone, and no traces of hives showed on the boy's pale skin. Still, he was no expert when it came to Aquagenic Urticaria, and he wanted to make sure.
"They're fine!" Ranboo grinned, proudly pushing both arms forward as proof. "It doesn't even itch anymore."
"Nice," Techno grinned back, reaching with his hand to ruffle the kid's hair.
"Did you get Sam with a water balloon?"
"Oh, I absolutely destroyed him," Techno answered. "What a noob."
Ranboo cocked his head to the side. "What's a noob?"
"It means that if he wishes to defeat me, he must train for another 100 years."
Ranboo giggled, finding great enjoyment in Techno's exaggerated boasting. Not for the first time in the last few hours, the man found his smile softening at the kid's smile, remembering how timid and withdrawn he'd been when he'd first arrived. Just a small ball of anxious energy, taut like a violin string -Technoblade could relate, honestly, especially since he'd been the exact same as a child. He was glad Ranboo felt more relaxed now, safe enough to let himself have fun and joke around.
He got suddenly snapped out of his thoughts by a thin pair of arms wrapping around his torso, two sets of fingers gripping at the back of his shirt. He looked down, startled, to find a mop of unruly dark hair pressing into his abdomen, the tip of the kid's ears blushing bright red.
"Thank you," Ranboo murmured, his voice muffled by the fabric of his top. Then, before Techno could finish processing, he pushed himself back, still not meeting his eyes, and scurried away.
Technoblade blinked, watching as Ranboo disappeared around the corner.
Ah, shit.
Responsible adults & their favorite tiny menaces
Ghostbur HAH, FUCKING CALLED IT
Orphans /neg Wilbur Soot, don't you even start
Ghostbur SHUT UP I WAS SO RIGHT YOU GUYS OWE ME SO MUCH MONEY NOW
Snapmap what the fuck
Orphans /neg Did you actually make a bet on this. Really. Is that how childish you are
Your Majesty I'm so confused rn
Ghostbur well, eret, my dear friend, let me enlighten you
Orphans /neg How about we do not, have you considered that
Ghostbur shush you, its storytime
Orphans /neg I will murder you in your sleep
Ghostbur so i was taking a stroll through the camp, right, omw to the main office for some supplies for the tiny menaces
Ghostbur im enjoying the small break, you know, listening to the birds chirping and all that poetic shit
Generic bald man ah yes, so eloquent
Ghostbur shut the fuck up, ANYWAY
Ghostbur so im walking, right, and i pass right by the volleyball court, and what do my curious eyes see?
Orphans /neg A ball coming straight for your face and destroying whatever remaining braincell you have?
Ghostbur none other than our dear technoblade here, getting a hug from little ranboo!
Orphans /neg That's it, you're dead Soot
Ghostbur i watched your brain immediately shut down, it was hilarious
Muffin man Awwwwww, that's so sweet!
Orphans /neg Bad, please, don't encourage him
Wife haver Wait, is this why his parents sounded so happy when they came to pick Ranboo up?
Orphans /neg Oh my god
Husband haver You made quite an impression, dear. Ranboo said he wants to come back and asked if he can be put in your group again
Big man TECHNO STOP STEALING MY FRIENDS YOU BITCH
Orphans /neg I'm not stealing anyone, you guys are all making it such a bigger deal than it actually is
Ghostbur we'll have to add the kid in here, now that techno has got a favorite menace too
Chaos incarnate YSE YES YSE EYS
Chaos incarnate i rlyl like ranboo hse goodf :)
Big man wait is ranboob stealing my best friend AND my brother
Big man WHAT THE FUCK I WILL NOT STAND FOR THIS
Big man THE SECND I SEE HIM TOMORROW ITS ON SIGHT
Wife haver Please don't, his parents literally just agreed to let him come back
Orphans /neg Can't you read, I'm not attached
Ghostbur that hug would like to differ buddy
Dreamy does it count as him being officially attached if he's still in denial
Ghostbur yes it does now shut up and bring me my money i fucking called it
Snapmap actually, I don't know if it does, Soot. The bet might still be on
Gogy He needs to admit it for you to win bud, sorry
Orphans /neg Well now I'm tempted to admit it simply to spite Dream
Dreamy why
Orphans /neg I take great enjoyment in your pain
Ghostbur im taking that as confirmation and runNING
Orphans /neg For the last time, I. Am. Not. Attached.
Cookie monster Techno
Orphans /neg Finally, someone reasonable has joined the chat. Yes, Niki?
Cookie monster You're attached
[Cookie monster] changed [Orphans /neg]'s name to [In denial]
In denial Bruh