Chapter Text
“And this is my room!” Reigen says, sweeping his hand in the air so Uu-chan can see the full 360-view from his palm. “Well, our room now. I have extra blankets you can sleep in. Wait here.”
He sets her down on the floor. She starts running around in circles, yapping. He opens his closet to grab the sheets for the makeshift dog bed, but once he turns back around, Uu-chan has made a home right in the middle of his futon.
Evil spirit, his ass.
His mom never allowed him to have a dog, and said she was allergic. He’d been asking since he was four, and every time he brought it up, her patience just wore thinner. This is the perfect compromise, he thinks. She can’t scold him for Uu-chan, she can’t even see her.
#
Today is the start of the 7-day Social Integration Training Program Reigen made for Serizawa, intensively researched, fact checked and practiced with the intention of making sure he gets comfortable with his club and not have to ask for additional help.
“I thought it’d be better to start slow,” he says. “I feel like thrusting you into a crowd would just be bad for everybody.”
Serizawa nods attentively at this, full focus on. Reigen feels undeserving of this, especially with his intentions.
They met up in Spirits and Such after school. Reigen even asked Fujita-sensei if she had any homework to pass on to Serizawa. She said she was “surprised but glad” about this development. Reigen doesn’t question it.
He sits behind Mob’s desk with his arms crossed, looking like the epitome of wisdom and authority, especially with Uu-chan resting intimidatingly on his shoulder. The light from the window behind him casts a big shadow, almost towering over Serizawa, who sits across them, frantically scribbling down notes.
“Listen, Katsuya,” Reigen points to him. “Even though we’re starting easy, it doesn't mean it’s going to be easy.”
Serizawa stops writing, blinks, confused. “O…kay?”
“Wait, that kinda doesn’t make sense.” Reigen shakes his head. “Whatever. For today, we’re gonna order ramen.”
“Like, on the phone?”
“No, there’s a really good store across the street. It’s still pretty niche but the owner is actually very nice.”
“Isn’t that a bit advanced? I mean, w-what if I don’t get the order right?”
“This is why we study!” Reigen busts out a notebook from his school bag, dripping with the scent of sleep deprivation from last night. “Listen to my words,” He says with the utmost seriousness, leaning forward. “...And also the words of BrainsGuy276 from Yahoo! Answers.”
#
When Onigawara sees the lack of an adult between the pair, he frowns and puts his hands on his hips. “Reigen-kun, I like you but you still need to pay. I can’t offer you free ramen.”
Reigen turns away scorned for a moment, hand covering half his face as if he’s tearing up. Dramatically, he pulls out a 10,000 yen bill from his pocket, thrusting it to Onigawara’s face with a smirk. A chuckle infects his words, “I got a bonus.”
“Congrats. What’ll you have?”
As if he’s announcing important news, his voice drops an octave. “Miso Ramen, thank you!”
“It’s just 720 yen.”
“Oh…” Reigen’s voice returns to normal. He searches his wallet then sucks his teeth. “I don’t have any smaller bills.”
Onigawara sighs and takes it. “Fine.”
“Okay, now you try to order.” Reigen nudges Serizawa gently as his change clink on the table. He shoots Onigawara a look for making it all coins. Onigawara sticks a tongue out at him.
A beat.
“Kid,” Onigawara says not unkindly. “What’s your order?” He looks over at Serizawa and then seems taken aback.
Reigen follows his gaze and almost jumps.
Serizawa’s stare seems to look past a person’s flesh and blood. It pushes itself right into the depths of their spirit and all its uncomfortable parts, unblinking and unnervingly still. He starts to pale after a minute, as if he’s holding his breath. This was probably how he interpreted BrainyGuy276’s ‘Make eye contact’ advice.
“O-Oi, Katsuya.” Reigen says, keeping his voice light. “You don’t have to push yourself so hard! We can leave if you’re uncomfortable.”
Serizawa finally blinks after what feels like five whole minutes. He takes a quick glance at Reigen and seems to calm at this. He looks at the menu. One of his hands lets go of the umbrella and shakily points to his order, Okinawa Soba. “P-Please.”
“That wasn’t so bad!” Reigen says as the bowls slide in front of them. Onigawara disappears into the kitchen instead of staying to chat like when he and Mob would eat here, probably not wanting to scare Serizawa.
“Though, we need to work on your stare…I mean, at least nothing exploded, right?” Reigen passes the chopsticks to him and splits his own with his teeth.
“Ah,” Serizawa just stares at the soba. “I barely got a word out. That’s not talking.”
Reigen waves the statement away. “You can’t be like me overnight! That’s why we gotta practice! Plus, words are overrated anyway. Some things you can just communicate with the eyes, you know?” He can feel Serizawa steal a glance at him before starting to eat.
“Thank you, Reigen-san.”
“It’s no problem.” He slurps a noodle. “And, you know you can call me Arataka, right? I don’t mind.”
“Okay, Arataka-san.”
“Still too formal.”
“…Taka-san?”
For some inexplicable reason, this makes Reigen blush.
“Alright.” Reigen says. He thinks a little on how to continue the conversation. “You said you were in a club, right? What did you guys do?”
“I wouldn’t know much about that. I wasn’t hands on with it, really. I was just there with my friend, since he was the president.”
“Oh. But, like, what were your activities as a club?”
“Hm.” Serizawa closes his eyes to think. Reigen notices that his eyebrows crease at the middle of his forehead. “We hung out a lot behind school. Some of them have this game of scaring people and asking for money? I don’t really get it. We got a lot of free stuff at the mall, though. Also President always talked about territory and meetings with other schools. He was really friendly with them, I think.”
A beat.
Reigen steals a glance at Onigawara, who’s looking back at him with his eyebrow quirked, no longer pretending not to listen. Reigen proceeds with caution, concern in his voice.
“Katsuya, don’t take this the wrong way but… I think you were in a gang.”
Serizawa blinks. “What? ” Realization. “Oh.” He shakes his head. “No, no. I’m sure it just sounds like that but it was a club. I swear!”
Reigen throws his hands up. “I’m not accusing you of anything. It could be that you just didn’t notice.”
“I promise it’s not like that.” He looks at his soba worriedly. “President would’ve told me if it was.”
#
Serizawa isn’t at the office the next day, nor the day after that. When Reigen enters an empty Spirits and Such for the third time, he starts to get worried. He asks Dimple about it, who shrugged and pointed out the unrelated growing size of Uu-chan on his shoulder, which Reigen brushed off dismissively.
“I’m pretty sure it’s eating at your life force,” Dimple says, growing uncharacteristically worried. “You have to at least exorcize it.”
“Shishou didn’t exorcize you, now did he?” Reigen retorts. He’d probably digest Dimple’s concern better if he wasn’t worried himself.
His feet carry him across to the building beside the office, standing outside like he did before. He’s about to ring the doorbell when it buzzes open on its own, beckoning him in silently. The wind howling is shut silent behind him. He trudges forward.
“Sorry.” Serizawa says through the door, guilt coating his voice. “Yesterday was fun. I just… need to recharge, is all.”
“That’s fine.” Reigen says, sitting cross legged on the floor.
“Sorry.”
“You don’t have to apologize.”
“Sorry.”
Reigen laughs. “It’s fine. ”
A beat.
“Can you…” Serizawa starts, but trails off as if he’s not sure how to continue.
“Oh!” Reigen realizes, standing up. “Do you want me to leave?”
“No!” Serizawa says immediately. “No, I was gonna say the opposite.”
Reigen feels like his heart is about to burst out of his chest. “Oh. Okay.”
“I still wanna continue those lessons. Is that okay?”
Reigen smiles even if Serizawa can’t see it. “Of course.”
#
Reigen wakes up from his daily lunchtime power nap earlier than usual. He’s awoken by Amakusa, who sits a few seats to his right.
The classroom is nearly empty during this period of break, only a few other students hang out by their desks, usually surrounded by friends, maybe cramming homework last minute. He and Amakusa don’t talk very often, but from an outsider’s perspective, they blend in with everyone else.
“Reigen-kun, sorry for waking you!” He bows. “I have the utmost important request.”
“Hm?” Reigen sits up groggily, rubbing the sleepiness out his eyes. “What do you need?”
“You see, I have been researching this incredibly powerful, continent destroying clan of dangerous, awful monsters called Yokai. It seems that they are hatching a strategy to dominate the entire world. I have called this the Chain of Sadness. I recently caught onto the Teruki Hanazawa Psychic Show now that it has ended and saw your presence in one of its episodes. This gives me the impression that—“
“Okay, okay. You want me to help you defeat the Yokai because you saw me on TV, right?”
Amakusa nods. “Yes.”
“Walk with me after school.”
#
Reigen peeks out Spirits and Such as Amakusa waits on the client’s sofa. He grips the handle of the door, his ears perking up at the sound of familiar footsteps by the stairs. He tells Amakusa to wait for him as he positions himself outside the door, adjusting his posture, putting on an authoritative face.
“Katsuya,” he says in a grave tone.
“Y-yes!” Serizawa jumps at this, straightening his back.
“Today is a test!” Reigen says. “You’re going to have to use your powers in front of someone unfamiliar.”
“Huh?”
“We are about to fight a dangerous group of monsters called Yokai! I have no doubt you can take them. But can you take on the task of doing it in front of a classmate?”
Serizawa pauses to think, looking at his feet with a grimace. Reigen’s stomach tugged with guilt. Maybe this is too fast? He’ll feel bad to cancel Amakusa’s request, but he can’t do it alone, and he doesn’t want to push Serizawa all of a sudden.
“I can do it.” Serizawa answers.
Reigen’s eyebrows shoot up. “You don’t seem nervous.”
“Oh, no, I am.” He says. “But not as much when I’m with you.”
Reigen feels his face go hot. “A-ah! Okay.”
#
The youkai was barely a threat, though it was more real than Reigen expected it to be. He doesn’t know where the seed of doubt was planted, but he finds himself starting to question the supernatural around him, even when it stares him right to his face. Throughout the entire ordeal, Amakusa’s rambling never ceased. He talked and talked about everything and nothing. Reigen feels a bit hypocritical for feeling annoyed. Surely, this isn’t how everyone hears him. Right?
When the dues were paid and Amakusa left with a flourishing bow and 3,000 yen cash, Serizawa seemed ponderous in the office. He had his lips parted just slightly, as if to say something. He stared at the door an immeasurable amount of time, tapping a finger on the handle of his umbrella. He did surprisingly well despite talking to a stranger. He stumbled over his words and floundered a lot, letting dead air fill the silence a few times, but otherwise was able to properly hold a conversation. Reigen can tell he was proud of himself for that, which makes his current behavior a bit confusing.
Reigen tilts his head. “Katsuya? Something on your mind?”
Serizawa jumps at this. He was probably lost in thought. He takes a moment before answering, pursing his lips. Then he says, “He mentioned… a robotics club?”
“Ah, yeah. I think it’s pretty new. They founded it last semester.”
“Are you in it?”
Reigen waves his hand. “Nah, I have work most days.”
Serizawa grimaces.
“Why, do you want to join?”
A beat.
“No, I was just thinking.”
#
“What’s this?” Reigen asks, looking at what Serizawa is holding out.
“It’s Pokemon Black 2. You said you only had White.”
“You’re giving it to me?”
Serizawa shrugs. “I already completed my Pokedex.”
Reigen just stares at the plastic container, reading the words over and over, the shine of Black Kyurem staring back at him, tantalizing. His hand reaches out, almost to grab it, before pushing it away.
“Keep it.” He says, resolute.
Serizawa looks confused. “You don’t want it?”
“I don’t need it.” Reigen says. “Pokemon has two versions for trading. I left mine at my house. Let’s just play there.”
#
It’s strange to see someone else in the house, even though Reigen doesn’t live alone. Serizawa’s footsteps sound different than his or his mom’s, and they seem to ring louder than either of them, a reminder that they’re alone together. He looks at the rooms carefully, observes the way he always does, and suddenly Reigen is acutely aware of everything all at once. The dishes aren’t done yet, there’s receipts on the counter, the books on the coffee table aren’t tidy. There’s an ambulance that blares as it passes a street, coupled with the drills of the construction a block over—Was it always that loud? Why did Reigen invite him? What was he planning to do again?
“Oh, wow, this is pretty spacious.” Is the first comment Serizawa says. “Uu-chan, you’ve gotten bigger!” Is the second.
Uu-chan passes through a wall and bounds up toward both of them. She’s as big as Reigen’s forearm now, and more corporeal as well. He can feel the fur against his skin as she leans into his touch.
“Yeah, I guess.” Reigen says, pushing his thoughts down. “Sometimes the house is too spacious, even.”
Serizawa hums warmly at his candidness. “You don’t like being alone, Taka-san?”
This time, it’s Reigen who doesn’t answer.
“Me too, despite how you met me.” Serizawa looks at him, eyes softening. “I guess we’re not as different as I thought.”
They start hanging out at Reigen’s house more.
They stop pretending Reigen was advising him on day three.
#
The Serizawa household is noisy for the first time, with Reigen’s usual chattering now accompanied by another. The warm lighting of the apartment finally matches its atmosphere, with Serizawa’s mom introducing herself with a lovely, homely smile akin to Serizawa himself.
Serizawa looked in between the state of comfortable and uncomfortable, with his mom being his closest friend while her still being… his mom. He had blushed when she called him a nickname and asked to be excused in his room to recuperate, which time she used to engage Reigen in conversation via asking him to help her make dinner.
“Reigen-kun, you’re really good at cutting vegetables!” She says as she readies the pan.
Reigen blushes at the compliment. “It’s nothing, really. I just like cooking.”
They’re standing side by side in front of the kitchen counter, apart enough that their elbows don’t hit, but close enough that she can subtly observe him. At least, Reigen thinks she’s being subtle. He feels as if he’s hyper aware of it because he wants to make a good impression, so he can feel every word he says and move more intensely than usual.
“You can relax around me, you know?” She says. “I won’t bite.”
Ah, so that’s why she was staring.
Reigen lets his body go loose. “Okay.”
“So, what do you usually cook?” His mom asks.
Well, Reigen never said he did it usually. “Omurice, onigiri, fried rice… A lot of rice, actually. I don’t cook all the time, though.”
“Why not?”
He shrugs. “I think I’m just lazy.”
Her voice grows fonder. “Thank you for being friends with Katsuya, Reigen-kun. I’ve been so worried about him since he’d shut himself in, even before that. He was always a pretty shy kid, especially with his powers, but I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this happy before.”
“Serizawa was the one to come out of his room.” Reigen says. “And by ‘this happy before’, you mean, after Suzuki left?”
She takes a moment to stare at the simmering vegetables before shaking her head. “Suzuki is a great kid, but he’s a bit of a perfectionist. I always felt like Serizawa had to pretend to be someone else for him, I doubt either of them even noticed it. But he seems to be more himself in front of you.”
Reigen’s chest constricts as though someone is squeezing his heart tightly that the blood stops flowing. Then, he lets it flow into a chuckle, which is all the answer he can offer.
“Ah!” Serizawa says from his room. From the kitchen, Reigen can hear a door opening and his footsteps growing louder. “Taka-san!”
“What?” Reigen shouts back.
“President just texted.”
“Oh, shit.” He abandons the cutting board and immediately meets Serizawa in the hallway. Serizawa bends his knees to make himself shorter, Reigen playfully punches his shoulder.
“That’s sad,” Serizawa says. “Shou isn’t coming along.”
“Shou?”
“His older brother. Us three used to be really close but his job kept him busy these past few years. He’s a government esper, I think.”
“Like a spy?”
“That’s what I said!” Serizawa giggles. “President went with him this time but I guess he’s coming back earlier… Oh, no.”
Reigen gets closer to look at the message. Their arms touch. “What? What is it?”
“He wants me to meet him at the mall. I… that’s too public. I don’t know if I can take it.”
“Ask him if you can just meet up after classes. I know some clubs don’t have training next week because tournaments are done. There won’t be much people outside.”
“Hm. Okay.” He types out a message and sends. His phone buzzes after a minute. Reigen leans in again to read.
“Did he just type out ‘tch’?”
#
Toichiro Suzuki is a 15 year old boy. That is the first thing Reigen notices.
With the stories of him and his return from both the rumor mill and Serizawa himself, Reigen expected something else, a sort of grander figure, illuminated by the sun like a spotlight. He expected a god-like presence, unearthly, deserving of the attention. Mysterious, captivating, out of reach.
But no, he’s just a kid.
He stands with his hands in his pockets by the entrance of the school, the afternoon sun slowly descending behind him. When he notices them approaching, his expression stays cold, unflinching.
“Serizawa,” he greets, sounding like a command, as if this weren’t a reunion.
Reigen feels Serizawa tense beside him, straightening his back and clutching his umbrella harder. “President! I’ve missed you.”
“As you should.”
Reigen frowns at this. He definitely sounds like his texts.
“How was your trip? How’s Shou-senpai?”
Toichiro waves his hand dismissively. “Serizawa, in my journey around the world, I’ve figured it out.”
“Figured what out?”
“I’ll tell you more in the club room.” He starts walking past them.
“Ah, President, wait!”
He turns, making the annoyance clear in his face. Serizawa doesn’t seem to notice, pointing to Reigen. “Can Taka-san come?”
Toichiro blinks and his eyes flit to him, as if he didn’t notice Reigen standing there in the first place. He studies him up and down silently.
Reigen lifts a hand up to wave. “Hi, I’m Arata—“
He cuts him off, glancing back at Serizawa. “Whatever, let’s just go.”
#
“World domination?” Serizawa asks, voice creeping up with doubt he seems to be suppressing.
The three of them are in an empty classroom. Reigen sits in the back with his legs propped up on the desk, arms folded on his chest, observing the childhood friends silently. Uu-chan accompanies him as he’s ignored, sitting on his knees with her tail wagging.
Serizawa sits in the front, umbrella still in hand. Reigen can’t see his expression, but through his voice he can tell he’s not on board with this whole idea. He remembers what he said at the ramen shop, how he’ll quit if it really was delinquency. Reigen wants to encourage that decision right now, especially with the slow boiling hatred that’s forming in his gut against Toichiro, but he doesn’t. It seems like Serizawa wants to hear him out.
Speaking of Toichiro, he’s not sitting like either of them, but instead standing in front of the blackboard, elevated by the platform meant for teachers. He holds a chalk in his hand and has been drawing diagrams of his epiphany for the past ten minutes. Something about five psychics ruling the world? Reigen can’t even explain what it is because of how stupid it sounds.
“I am the star of this planet,” Toichiro is explaining. “I was born with these powers to rule over the world. Imagine that, Serizawa, everything at our fingertips. The Ultimate 5 will make that happen.”
Reigen scoffs louder than he’d intended.
Toichiro squints at him. “Got anything to add?”
Reigen plans to say the mature thing, Nothing. Pretend I’m not here. But instead what comes out is:
“What kind of self-important bullshit. ‘Rule the world’, really? At 15?”
“I think what Taka-san is saying,” Serizawa replies. “Is that this seems so ambitious for our age!” He looks back and shoots him a glance, to which Reigen mouths an apology to.
Toichiro ignores their sidebar, not bothered with shifting the conversation back to himself. “Well, yeah, of course. Ambition is what drives the world forward.”
“I don’t disagree! But—“
“But?”
“I’m not sure about the violence.”
“What do you mean?”
“We sound like a terrorist group.”
“It’s not that different from being a delinquent.”
Serizawa’s voice grows cold. “But we’re not delinquents, we’re a club.”
“Oh, come on, Serizawa.”
A beat.
“I quit. I’m joining the Mecha Building Club.”
“What?” Toichiro snaps, growing frustrated. “What’s with all this pushback? You were never like this. You’ve changed.”
“And I’m glad I did.” Serizawa retorts. “You tricked me into joining a delinquent group. I trusted you.”
“How stupid do you have to be not to notice?”
Serizawa immediately stands up, the drag of his chair being loud enough to fill the room.
“Then I quit.”
Toichiro doesn’t answer right away, letting the words sink in. He looks at Serizawa, then at the ground. The silence comes back, surrounding them like a drumroll, a build up to an apology. But then, when he looks back up, his eyes glaze past Serizawa, past all the empty desks, and focuses at the back of the classroom, at Reigen. There’s no doubt that the hatred is mutual now.
His words are tinged with venom. “What did you say to him?”
Reigen frowns and shrugs. “Why are you asking me? Katsuya’s his own person.”
“No, no. You manipulated him too, didn’t you? You’re not even an esper.”
Reigen clicks his jaw, unfolding his arms and leaning forward. “Yes, I am.”
“A liar too.” Toichiro says, walking forward, completely ignoring Serizawa’s protests behind him.
“You should be happy Katsuya isn’t a doormat anymore.”
“Clearly not since he’s still so gullible.” Toichiro finally acknowledges Serizawa again. “Do you think he’s a psychic?”
Serizawa quiets down, caught off guard by the question. His eyes flick from Toichiro to Reigen, and Reigen feels his breathing get shallower the longer the pause goes on. Then, “Yes, I do.”
Reigen exhales.
Toichiro looks back at him with a hint of amusement. “Hm. Let’s test him then.”
Reigen’s chest explodes with pain as a wave of psychic power rips through him, catapulting him to walls he hit so hard they crack and burst and send him into another room. He closes his eyes shut. And another. And another. And another.
He opens them again. He’s floating in the air.
Debris surrounds him almost in slow motion. Toichiro and Serizawa pop in and out if his field of vision, seemingly fighting, Serizawa mostly defending. His brain tries to catch up with all of this, try to wrap some logic around something this illogical, but it lags behind. He can feel his body being pulled back down, right on an empty soccer field. He hits it with his right arm first, then rolls into the dirt, over the grass. He lies down still, willingly unmoving.
He did not sign up to be a chuunibyou’s ragdoll today.
His breathing is ragged. His joints shout a dull ache. He’ll probably bruise in the next few days, nothing too serious. But his body should be more wrecked than this, the pain should be overwhelming. All Reigen can think about is one thing:
How the fuck is he alive?
Toichiro stands with his back turned to him. He says. “Why are you protecting him, Serizawa?”
In his periphery, Reigen can see his friend on his knees near a wall, an arm reaching out to him. He looks worse than Reigen feels. “You were gonna kill him.”
“If he’s a psychic, he doesn’t need your barrier. He can defend himself.” He steps forward.
The logical expectation that his joints would be on fire when he attempts to sit up is subverted by how very fine he actually is. It stings a little when he moves, but it’s not enough to garner any real pain. He starts with a hand to the ground, nails digging into the gravel, pushing his chest up then resting on his elbow. The pushback he’s feeling seems like Serizawa’s own power to keeping him down, most likely for Toichiro not to notice him. But Reigen’s stubborn. He doesn’t listen. It’s not enough to stay like this.
Toichiro continues his march forward. “You know, I don’t need you.” He spits out, childish in his tone and volume. “I don’t need you or Shimazaki or Minegeshi. I don’t need any of you. I kept you around because of pity. You need me, Serizawa.”
Serizawa looks down at his feet as he hears these words, holding his umbrella shakily. “I just want to talk.”
Toichiro fakes a sigh, crouching to Serizawa’s face. “You’ve become such a contrarian. It would’ve been easier to just join me, you know?”
He lifts an arm. He puts a hand on Serizawa’s hair. “Now I need to find new pawns.”
“Hey!” Reigen shouts. He stands upright with fists clenched on his sides.
In a flash, Toichiro appears in front of him. It’s as if he teleported, Reigen almost jumped back in surprise. His smile is cold, overconfident, eyes staring right into Reigen’s insides. “And what do you plan to do?”
Despite having an interest in it, upon closer inspection, Reigen realizes he might be afraid of the supernatural. In a way he despises, it terrified him. A paralyzing fear he couldn’t seem to push down, and it made people notice. Psychics and curses and evil spirits aren’t something he knows, in fact, they encompass so much of what he doesn’t know, and maybe never wanted to know. It is an unfathomable power, it’s as big as the sky, as wide as a city. It makes him tremble at the sight of an urban legend. It makes him put a TV personality on a god-like pedestal. It makes him depend his identity on a lie.
But Toichiro…
Toichiro is just a kid.
So Reigen kicks him in between the legs.
He says, “I don’t need powers to do that.”
Reigen’s done this countless of times before, since it’s a sure fire way to get bullies off your back, at least temporarily. As Toichiro falls over, Reigen remembers Serizawa by the wall, eyes scared half to death, having just heard his best friend tell him his greatest fears.
So Reigen punches Toichiro in the face too, just for good measure.
When he walks back to the wall, expecting to help Serizawa up, he instead finds it empty. Footprints mark the mud, trailing out the field. Reigen feels something heavy drop in his gut. Serizawa definitely heard what he said, what he shouted for everyone to know.
And he ran away.
He should’ve expected this.
Someone grabs his leg. He looks down.
Toichiro stares at him with murderous rage and yanks back. He puts Reigen off balance enough for him to fall flat on his face, slamming on his nose so hard it’s sure to break. Without the barrier, it definitely hurts a lot more.
Reigen twists in Toichiro’s grasp, using his other leg to kick him his arm off. It doesn’t work, he’s even more persistent now.
For reasons he doesn’t know, Toichiro seems to forget that he has psychic powers, and could kill him with a flick of his finger. Instead, covered in mud, he fights hands on, climbing on top of Reigen and punching. He isn’t good at it, barely has any weight in his hits, clearly inexperienced. Reigen shouldn’t fight back. He should get a teacher.
He should get a teacher.
His fist connects on Toichiro’s cheek with enough force to push him back. He tackles him, growling, frustrated, abandoning all reason. It’s been raining for a while now, Reigen just noticed. They roll in the mud.
It’s stupid. It’s so stupid. Reigen should be better than this, people have told him he’s better than this. Don’t be a kid. Be a good person.
He couldn’t even help Serizawa.
They only stop when a teacher sees them.
#
(It goes unnoticed that this teacher was brought by Serizawa himself. He tells it to Reigen a few months later as an anecdote. That, in his urgency, he had sped through the school corridors despite a handful of students still roaming in it. He had asked a room full of strangers for help, without faltering or backing out. His powers did not leak out like he feared.)
#
When Reigen climbs up the stairs of Spirits and Such, each step seems to echo around the walls, imitating the heart hammering in his chest. He drags his palm across the wall, feeling each crack of paint, trying to ground himself in the moment.
He got the text last night that Mob was coming home, and Reigen’s free to visit the office now. He’s thankful Dimple didn’t rat him out, but for some reason it made him more nervous.
So he got a little bandaged cheek, a little black eye. Barely even noticeable. He hopes Tokyo made Mob less observant, but he’s already got a story up his sleeve about his quirky little trip while on the stairs.
He stands in front of the door with his hand on the handle. He gets ready with a deep breath, then opens it.
Mob is here.
And he’s talking to Serizawa on the couch, the consultation couch.
Ah.
“Ah! Arataka-kun,” Mob says as he glances at the door. He frowns when he sees the bandages. “Hey, are you okay?”
Reigen wishes he can hear him, all the string of concerned questions could’ve been a comfort if it wasn’t for the ringing in his ears. He opens the door quickly and walks out quicker, balling his hands into fists to stop them from shaking, digging his nails into his palms so he’s distracted from the sting behind his eyes. He’s out the building before he knows it, the autumn air hitting his face with the drying feeling of early October. He finds himself walking to a park nearby. Despite not wanting to, he remembers Toichiro. He remembers Uu-chan. He remembers his sister. And he remembers—
“Arataka-kun!” His shishou’s voice shouts from behind him. “Wait up.”
He stops in his tracks, but doesn’t turn around. He can hear Mob’s steps get louder as he comes closer, panting from trailing him. Reigen realizes he’s walked a great distance while he was distracted, making his way close to his house.
He looks up at a tree he used to climb when he was younger. The leaves are falling off.
“You’re too young to be nostalgic.” Mob says behind him. “Arataka-kun, do you want to talk about it?”
“How was Tokyo? Did you and your brother get along?”
A pause. Mob deflects Reigen’s deflection. “Katsuya-kun told me what happened.”
Knew it. “Are you mad?”
“Why would I be mad?”
Reigen balls his fists up at his side. “I opened the office even though you told me not to. I took advantage of Katsuya for no reason—“
“I think that’s a bit of a stretch—“
“He asked for a mentor and I couldn’t even help him! I just made everything worse!”
A beat.
“Katsuya-kun didn’t need a mentor, Arataka-kun.” And he says it like he knows it, like he’s felt it. “He just… wanted a friend.”
Reigen stares off at the sky. Pitifully, he says, “I couldn’t do that either.”
Mob sighs. If Reigen had turned around, he would’ve caught the slight eye roll his master tried to suppress. “You know something he said? He told me you made the world bigger. He said he managed to see beyond his room for the first time in a year because you came to his door.”
Reigen shakes his head. “A teacher just made me do it.”
“The teacher didn’t make you talk to him.” Mob says. “The world is big, bigger than you. Bigger than me, even. You don’t have to touch every part of it. You’re allowed to have your limits. You don’t have to prove anything to yourself.”
Reigen’s voice is uncharacteristically small. “Is this your way of telling me I won’t be your deshi anymore?”
“What?” Mob sounds genuinely surprised.
“Now that you have Katsuya, an actual psychic… He told you about that , right?” Reigen peels his eyes from the floor and turns around to look at him. “That everything you knew about me wasn’t true. I manipulate people. I ran away because I’m a coward. I…” He presses his palms to his eyes until he can see stars. His voice cracks. “I don’t know why I’m even in Spirits and Such. I don’t have psychic powers.”
His words seem to echo around the park despite barely being above a whisper. When he looks up, his master’s face is as blank as it always is, expressions microscopic and easy to miss. It feels like they stare at each other for an hour before either of them move.
(A memory cuts through Mob’s mind at this moment. Ritsu, drunk and honest, causing a scene at a restaurant, standing up loudly, looking at him with pure hatred.
“When are you gonna stop acting like nothing’s wrong?” )
“What I know about Arataka-kun…” Mob puts a thumb to his chin, looking up as if he’s actually pondering it. In response, Reigen looks at his shoes. “Hm. I know that he’s persevering to the point of stubbornness. I know he’s reckless and overconfident. He doesn’t like to ask for help.”
With each phrase, Mob takes a step forward. “In fact, he always tries his best to help, even when the situation is outside his abilities. He’s ambitious and charismatic. He’s passionate, funny and inspiring. I think all of these are true.”
He pauses right in front of Reigen, who’s squeezing his eyes shut as the sharp feeling of tears sting behind it. He’s hanging on to every word, twisting and turning them in his head. He doesn’t speak, doesn’t trust himself to, so he stays uncharacteristically silent.
“If you want to quit the business, I won’t stop you.”
Reigen looks up.
“But I didn’t start Spirits and Such because you were an esper.” Mob says, “I started it because I always knew, Arataka-kun.”
Time seems to stop moving.
Reigen’s breath hitches as he tries to hold it, magma in his chest waiting to erupt.
Then,
“You’re a good kid.”
And in the silence it says, that’s enough.
The tears start falling immediately.
Reigen’s reply is stuck in his throat, choking and encompassing his chest in thick tar. He exhales the breath he was holding, but what comes out instead is body-shaking sobs of relief and shame and happiness. And even a bit of acceptance.
Mob tentatively puts a hand on his shoulder for comfort, before pulling him into a hug. Reigen feels his arms hug back in autopilot, burying his head into Mob’s shirt, muffling out the world for a moment.
For once, it all feels enough.
For once, he is enough.