Chapter Text
My MIL keeps turning into a bird and shitting down our chimney
r/justnomythsinlaw
Posted by u/SmithofKalevala
See title. She’s always been a bitch, but she got worse after my wife and I absconded. She sends messages all the time demanding that I let my wife go and calling me a dick, then blaming me for destroying the bride price. I did not destroy the bride price. She tried to steal the bride price and dropped it in the ocean when my buddy and I tried to steal it back, then told me it didn’t count when I asked her if I could have my wife now.
A few weeks ago, a vulture attacked me while I was working and made me mess up an enchanted hammer. Fortunately, the customer was understanding when I advised him to wear gloves the next time he used it and offered to take a potshot at the bird, but I told him I could handle it. When I came home, my MIL was trying to convince my wife to come with her by claiming that my customer had killed me with a lightning bolt and she was a widow now. As soon as she saw me, she started shrieking and turned into a vulture, then flew up to our roof, shit down our chimney, and left.
She’s come back every day for the past week to shit down our chimney. Sometimes she leaves threatening letters written in blood. I’m so close to calling my buddy and asking him to use magic on her, but my wife hates him and wants nothing to do with him. Does anyone have any advice?
u/CrescentDeer: Just shoot her
u/SmithofKalevala: I’m trying not to end this with violence.
u/CrescentDeer: Shoot her and blame it on your buddy
u/BritonKing: OMG I have a half-sister like this. She seduced one of my knights and tried to curse my wife. I had to get my court wizard to curse her to get her to leave us alone. I’d have that friend of yours deal with this unless you have experience with magic. It’s always best to leave magic to the people who know what they’re doing.
u/SmithofKalevala: He said he’s fighting a giant in the underworld right now. I’ll ask him when he gets back.