Archive of Our Own ^beta

ALL HE EVER WANTED FROM ME

Max had been a hot-head when he met him. And he was too, there had been sparks flying in many, many ways back in the day.

For a while, it felt to him like this moment in time would always be the greatest story in the entire paddock and then, things changed—he grew up, Max grew up so much, changing teams felt like running away to the world when it was just the natural pass of time, changes that maybe now seemed a mistake, but hadn’t been at the time.

Daniel had no regrets.

Back then, he was sure his position in Max’s life would go away with a new team between them, but it only made it stronger… maybe it went in a different direction, he had no idea then of what Max truly wanted from him, but it had become something else.

Something strong, unique, theirs.

Watching him now, a man. A caring, strong, goofy and talented man, successful like he was destined to be, it was a privilege he hoped to still have even if at the end he decided to leave the paddock for a year after all.

He moved his head to one side, watching the men sitting in front of him as Lando and Carlos sat at his side, talking between them as if the scene in front was normal…

And it was. It really was.

It’s just—it blew him away, really, how time passed and things changed, the people he knew and grew up with, that he could call friends and count on them, they were all so different outside the track, back at home… seeing a little bit of that here, it felt like voyeurism.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Carlos said suddenly, making him look back at him. “This is a family friendly environment, put the tongues back in!”

He snorted, laughing with Lando giggling at his side.

Daniel looked in front where Max and Checo had stopped kissing, the older man smiling as Max bit his bottom lip with a smirk like the devil, slowly putting a hand over his mouth as if wanting to hide his huge grin.

But, like everything else when it came to Checo, he could not get his eyes to lie for him.

“Sorry…” Max said, Checo looked back, cheeky as hell. 

“Envious?” Checo asked, smiling at the end.

“Ew.” Carlos shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest, a foot over his knee. “I’m mature enough to know I’m not giving everyone else a show in here!”

“What are you talking about?” A voice spoke behind them.

They all turned, and Daniel smiled when Seb arched an eyebrow, looking at Carlos only.

“You subjected us all to… whatever it was you and Lando did every day during your first year together!”

The room exploded in laughter, drivers coming in and out, PR managers and media handlers behind them, sitting elsewhere or at their sides—he was going to miss this, for sure. Even if the meetings themselves were boring, he was going to miss the chatter before and after, the knowing smiles and stares in the middle of discussions and complaints, the inside jokes… these men, these people.

His people.

Daniel sighed, catching Max’s attention who immediately looked at him as Checo kept teasing a now red faced Carlos hiding under his long hair and hat, Lando at his side poking his ribs like the little shit he was.

The younger man watched him with his cold blue eyes, a hand on the chair’s handle. Daniel looked back, smiling when he put his chin down on his hand, the movement so fast and quiet, he looked like a cat doing it.

Max moved his head to one side without taking off his chin from the back of his hand over the chair, he blinked. Daniel put his elbow on his knee, holding his own chin with his open hand, watching Max, movements all playful and goofy, making his ex-teammate smile as it happened.

“Are you okay?” He asked softly.

Daniel smiled back, thinking of many years ago, a similar moment here in this paddock.

He’d been exhausted in a different way than he was today, Max had stuck by his side during the meeting then walked out with him as the afternoon became night. As they talked and walked back into the Motorhome, Max had gathered all his strength and courage to kiss him.

When it happened, in the back of his head, he had thought him a lousy kisser… but because he had no experience, not because he actually was like that. The lack of experience, too, had put him into that situation.

Gently, quietly, Daniel had taken him by the shoulders and kept him away, smiling sadly as he said no , this between them was not like that.

“Yep.” He answered now. And by instinct, as Checo, Lando and Seb, now behind them, laughed together, he asked: “Are you happy?”

Max blinked a couple of times, face full of curiosity. For a moment, something flashed through his eyes, like understanding, and Daniel wondered if he remembered that rainy afternoon when things changed between them and he thought it was lost forever. He blinked again, chin back on his hand, and nodded.

“Yes.”

It was the only answer.

No explanations, waxing poetry, theatrics or examples. Just the truth, just like Max.

Once, this dramatic boy told him he could never trust his instincts again, that he was never going to find love, to find a companion that could respond to his feelings in kind, that could love him like only Max Verstappen knows how to love, and secretly, Daniel ha thought— wait until you grow up, kid.

Wait until things change and time passes. Wait until life reveals what it has in mind.

Daniel looked at Checo when the man, without looking back, reached out with his hand towards Max. The younger driver leaned his cheek on said hand and Checo caressed his face by instinct, fitting his palm on Max’s cheek before his thumb went to caress Max’s lips.

When they were younger, Daniel had been there when another driver broke Checo’s heart.

They had gone out for drinks but ended up eating ice cream in Seb and Kimi’s shared room, listening to the older guy’s classic rock and watching Casablana at four in the morning in French since it was on open TV and they had just raced in Paul Ricard.

He’d told them about the many things that were ruined for him, his bad luck since the day he was born: brought to life by his father’s wish to race, his mother was subjected to surgery almost two weeks before the due date, and since then, it seemed like things kept taking away other plans for greater things.

Like how Honda had tested him for an F1 seat and the day before his big test, they left F1.

Or how his test with Red Bull Racing had gone wrong and Marko had treated him like shit, told him his drivers were going to kick his ass in F3 only for him to win that year in a slower car, and how Horner had wanted him to make a test again but Ferrari got him first.

It felt now, as he turned around to look at Max, that life was just preparing him for today.

“What are you doing…?” Checo murmured with a smile as Max playfully bit his thumb. “Agh, you’re like a kitten.”

Max smiled around his finger, letting it go before his grin became cartoonish and wide.

“What are you doing, Gatito ?” He said, Daniel moved his head to one side.

He wondered if Checo ever thought about it, about how he was not able to kiss his ex in a crowded room but he could kiss Max. How he lost so many opportunities and ended up driving for Honda, for Red Bull, for Horner. In a good car, a good team.

Did he ever wonder how his long journey brought him to this? Calling his boyfriend a kitten in front of everyone, caressing his face, getting closer and kissing him again to no one’s actual complaint.

He looked at his side, Carlos was busy in conversation with Mick and Seb, Lando had his head on his shoulder, also looking at the pair in front of them. His teammate looked at him for a moment, smiling at him, as if knowing he had just realized he was right then—he could not give Max what he wanted, he had never understood what the boy wanted then.

Daniel put up his camera, taking a shot of Checo and Max kissing, making them laugh as they went away from each other and looked at him. He took a picture of Checo first, then Max who looked at him, and kept taking pics until they were all just laughing and acting as if just minutes ago, they were all wanting to pass each other on track.

After, as they all walked out after booing George’s attempts at getting them on his side for the spin, Daniel kept taking pictures of Lando and Carlos as they walked away and joked around.

Distractedly, he looked to his left for a moment and catched with his tired eyes the two bulls walking away with their media handlers behind them. A kid walked at Checo’s side, trying to take a pic, and once he was done and they were saying goodbye, he saw as Checo discreetly reached out with his hand, Max looked down, and took it.

Max took his hand and walked slowly, feet and legs moving in sync, talking between them as Checo laced their fingers together. 

There he understood.

All Max ever wanted was nothing , just the happiness of walking at his side and knowing himself loved, waited for, grateful for.

All he ever wanted was sweet nothing.