Archive of Our Own ^beta

She watches him leave with Master Jinn. Their year-long mission is finally at a close yet she can’t help but feel that she wants them (him) to stay a little while longer.

She watches him leave yet again. His mission is done and his Temple calls him back to the war but she can’t help but feel that she wants him to stay with her.

He walks up the ramp with his Master, and looks back at her, sorrow laced into his eyes. Her heart clenches painfully and oh how she just wants to run up to him and beg him to stay.

He walks up the ramp to his ship, his robes flailing in the wind. He looks back at her smiling softy, sorrow laced in his eyes but understanding also. Her heart yet again clenches painfully and she wants to ask him to stay, stay with her.

She knows though if she were to ask him, he would stay, he would stay to be with her. But she knows he loves being a Jedi, he was meant to be a Jedi with his kind heart and his courageous behavior.

She knows thought that if she were to ask him to stay, he would stay. However, he loves being a Jedi and helping whomever he can with his brave actions and his everlasting kindness. But she knows that inside, the war is killing him. He’s surrounded by death each time he is in one of his campaigns, and each time he returns to his Temple or her, she knows that a part of him died with his men.

She’s selfish for even considering the thought, she would be taking away her Ben from everyone he loves and who loves him, all for one person, herself.

She’s selfish for even considering the thought though, she would be taking away her Cyare from everyone who loves him and whom he loves. But when was the last time she decided to be selfish or him? Why can’t they find their happiness like so many other people? Why must they sacrifice their happiness for others that don’t even appreciate the sacrifice?

The engine starts and the ship is about ready to take off. A stray tear trails down her cheek, it’s too late now, he’s gone and what they could have been will never happen. She wipes her face and puts on a mask, her face stoic and calm, but inside, her heart has been broken and inside it’s all black. She mustn’t dwell on the grief and heartbreak though, she has a duty to her people as Duchess and she won’t let them down due to her own selfishness and happiness.

The engine starts and the ship is about ready to take off. Her eyes water and she is reminded of the memory of him leaving all those decades ago, that day was one of her biggest regrets. Yet, the Universe has decided to give her a do-over, and she’ll happily take advantage of this second chance.

She turns away from the leaving ship and walks towards the entrance of the palace, the entrance of her new life without Ben. She hears the ship take off and falters in her steps, she closes her eyes and breathes, it’s too late and she regrets it. She sacrificed her happiness for her people, but she can’t help but feel that she just made the biggest regret in her life. She breathes and pushes her feelings down, under the surface, she doesn’t have time for the sorrow, she has a duty to do.  She opens her eyes and walks through the entrance to the palace, into her new life.

She runs, she doesn’t turn around like last time, instead, she runs forward, she runs forward to her Cyare. The ship suddenly stops and the door opens, revealing a worried Obi-Wan.

“Satine, are you okay? What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” Obi-Wan hurriedly asks, his eyebrows creased in worry. She can’t help but let out a watery laugh.

“Satine?” Obi-Wan questions, confused.

“I can’t say goodbye, Ben, not again,” Satine whispers. “You told me that if I had asked you to stay, you would have.”

Obi-Wan eyes widen as she goes on.

“I wanted to ask you so badly to stay, but I couldn’t. You had your duty as a Jedi and I had my duty as a Duchess. I sacrificed our happiness because I thought it was for the best, but it wasn’t. And I regret not asking you.” Satine lets in a shaky breath.

“Satine-“ Obi-Wan whispers but Satine interrupts him.

“I’m not… I’m not finished.” Satine states. “And when you were about to leave, it reminded me of when you left me on Mandalore after we spent a year together, and that was my fault, I should have asked you, I shouldn’t have let you leave.

I made a mistake last time, I was selfless, and I thought I was right. And then when you were about to leave, I realized I didn’t want to be selfless anymore, I didn’t want to sacrifice my happiness, our happiness. I want to be selfish for once and I want to be happy, and I can only be happy with you.” Satine declares, her eyes teary, and Obi-Wan not faring any better.

“So, Ben, I want you to stay, I want you to stay with me, forever, until death does us apart. Will you stay?” Satine declares and Obi-Wan leans forward and kisses her on her forehead and moves her blonde locks behind her ears gently.

“Of course, I’ll stay, darling. I was just waiting for you to ask.” Obi-Wan gently says and she smiles. Obi-Wan leans his head down and they kiss while the Mandalore sun sets over the planet.

She ran away from her feelings years ago, she’s done running, instead, she embraces them.