Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“I think this is the first time you’ve hosted the study group, Daichi.” Akaashi hummed, stepping out of his shoes at the front door with the rest of the group.

“Yeah, which doesn’t really make sense seeing as you and Suga live together.” Iwaizumi shrugged his coat off and hung it on a hook before following Akaashi and Daichi into the somewhat spacious dining area, setting his stuff on a chair. “And since you two somehow have a house.”

“Blows my mind that you and Suga have your own house! ” Terushima was gaping at his surroundings, head snapping back and forth between everything that caught his attention. “How are you two able to afford this place and go to college?”

A snort came from one of the remaining members of their group. “Not everyone is as irresponsible and impulsive as you, Terushima.”

“Like you’re one to talk, Bokuto.” Daichi smirked at the offended look he received in return. “Suga and I can afford a house because we aren’t the only ones paying for and living here.”

That little bit of information piqued the other four’s interest and caused them to pause in their setting up of study materials, glancing at the guy at the head of their table. Something about this news didn’t feel new and a memory of Suga mentioning that he and Daichi share their house with two others came to mind.

Recognizing the curiosity on his friends’ faces as a possible distraction from their studying, Daichi refocused on organizing his materials, huffing out an answer when he didn’t hear the others do the same.

“You guys haven’t met them because they have both been away for a research expedition since last year.” Settling into his chair, Daichi ended the conversation with a tad bit more information. “Suga and I grew up with them and despite being the same age as us, those two skipped a year and started college before us.” 

Clearing his throat while he opened his first text book, their host effectively brought their attention back to their grueling task at hand.

They got into a rhythm and flow with their studying and before they knew it, two and half hours passed by. The five were pulled out of their work by the sound of Bokuto’s stomach growling. 

Standing up with a few stretches and groans, the group silently and unanimously decided they needed a break from their notes and textbooks. As a unit they migrated to the kitchen to raid the fridge and cabinets for snacks, returning to the dining room table with their arms full of food. 

“Hey, Daichi, where is Suga, by the way?” Iwaizumi barely glanced at the other guy as he opened his bag of chips.

“Yeah, I thought he was going to join us today.” Terushima’s voice was muffled and warped by the handful of Skittles he stuffed in his mouth a moment before. 

Shrugging, the host turned back to his textbook without any real intent to consume the information. “He said he had to pick something up and that he’d be back later.”

“Dude, we’ve been here for like three hours. What could possibly take that long to pick up?” 

Daichi went to answer but was cut off by a shout of excitement.

"Daichi!"

The mentioned man looked away from his textbook when the front door of their shared home flew open from the whirlwind that was Suga. The other four members of their study group glanced at one another, never really having seen this side of Suga before.

"What's got Suga busting at the seams?"

Suga ignored everyone in the living area but Daichi, panting as his eyes glistened with excitement. "Daichi!"

"What is it, Suga?"

Daichi immediately regretted asking upon seeing the smirk stretching across his best friend's face, the look paired with the gleam in his eyes promising nothing but headaches for Daichi.

"The day has come, Daichi, - " The blood drained from Daichi's face, instinctively knowing he had no escape from the inevitable, " - they're back."

"Who?" Iwaizumi and Bokuto questioned at the same time, having forgotten the earlier conversation.

Suga and Daichi answered at the same time, respectively.

"The baddest bitches I know."

"The banes of my existence...our other two roommates."

Suga glared half heartedly at his roommate, crossing his arms as he caught his breath. “Daichi, we haven’t seen them in a year! Be nice.”

A grimace found its home on Daichi’s face, much to the confused amusement of his guests. “You should be telling them to be nice, Suga. I am nothing but a saint to them and they are demons back.” He paused, observing his best friend. “Wait, were they what you were picking up? Is that why you’ve been gone for so long?”

Suga nodded eagerly. “I couldn’t leave Tetsu and Tooru to their own devices in an airport. They’d end up halfway across the world.”

Really, he should’ve been prepared for the headache that was starting to over take his skull, the special headache only his childhood friends could cause. He rubbed his temples, eyes closing as he continued the conversation. “Suga, if you picked them up at the airport…where are they now?”

“Oh! They wanted to stop for some food before coming home so we went to the cafe down the street…”

“Suga. Please tell me you did not ditch them there.” Suga shrugged in response, mischief shining in his eyes. “Did you at least tell them we had guests over so they would behave?”

A snort was his immediate response. “As if that would change anything.”

The four guests were watching their two hosts with mild amusement, enjoying the new sides of their friends they were being exposed to. 

“It might’ve!”

Suga waved him off, the smirk still planted firmly on his face. “No it wouldn’t. Really, you’re too hopeful, Daichi - “

“Sugawara Koushi, you motherfuckering rat bastard!” 

All eyes snapped to the front of the house where the door was still opened, the shout having come from just outside the frame. 

Daichi couldn’t help the smug smile that grew on his face when he saw the regret and panic flash across Suga’s face. 

“Oh, sh - “

The man was cut off by two blurs tackling him to the ground, instantly starting a wrestling match. 

“We had to walk all the way home because you ditched us!” A strangled cry came from the lanky brunet being held in a headlock by Suga.

“Yeah, going to the bathroom my ass, you traitorous bastard.” Grunted the guy with messy hair as he in turn put Suga in a headlock, digging his knuckles into the silver locks. 

“Sorry! I was so excited to tell Daichi that you two were ba - ah! You ass! No biting!” Suga swatted the man in his arms, his fingers getting nipped at again. “Daichi! Help me!”

Instead of helping his friend, Daichi sighed, standing up while turning to his guests. “I am so sorry you had to meet them like this. I understand if you want me and Suga to leave the study group for exposing you guys to them.”

Upon hearing Daichi’s voice the two newcomers broke away from Suga and sprinted at Daichi.

“Daichi! I’ve missed you!” The brunet latched onto Daichi’s torso like a koala, wrapping his arms around his neck and his legs around his waist, nuzzling his head into Daichi’s cheek.

“And I’ve missed you. ” The second man purred, having attached himself to Daichi’s legs. He copied his friend’s movements and nuzzled his face against Daichi’s thighs, a moan leaving his lips. “I’ve fantasized about these beauties for a year now and here they are in front of me. Daichi, please crush my head with your thighs like a watermelon. That is the only welcome home present I want from you.”

“Oh, oh! Me next!” The man still nuzzling his cheek added, shooting an almost imperceptible glance at their fourth roommate. 

“Hey, assholes! We have guests, keep it in your pants.” Suga grunted as he pulled himself off the floor.

“Oh? That’s okay, I like an audience.” The darker haired one shifted his eyes to the room’s other occupants, winking at the gaping group.

“Get off of me, you’re traumatizing my friends.” Daichi huffed, finally managing to successfully pry himself free from the two leeches. 

A gasp came from the brunet. “You have friends other than us and Koushi? Even with your shitty personality?”

“They must be friends with him because of his thighs, like us.”

“And his arms .” Both the newcomers moaned, leaning against each other as they eyed their flustered friend. “I would give away my plushies in a heartbeat for the chance to be choked out by those biceps.”

A smack to the backs of their heads cut off their next comments as Suga sniffled behind them. “I guess I’m old news, then.”

“Oh, Koushi, baby, no. We could never forget about you.”

“Yeah, we love you just as much as we love Daichi.”

“Tetsu has been dying to show you the new trick he learned. I swear, Koushi, the way he moves his tongue…” Another moan came from the brunet. “Absolutely sinful.”

Daichi rubbed his temples again, once more turning his attention to his wide eyed study group. “I am so sorry, they are bastards. Please - “

“Are you guys fucking?” Terushima blurted out, gesturing to the four roommates. “I just feel like we are witnessing some really weird foreplay.”

“Do we look like we’re fucking?” The brunet arched an eyebrow, finally putting his attention on the guests. 

The slightly taller newcomer smirked. “Why? Are you interested in joining?”

Another slap to the backs of their heads had the pair yelping. 

“Stop harassing our friends and go shower, you both stink of airport.” Suga not so gently shoved his friends further into the house.

“Will you join me, Koushi? I need help washing my back.” 

“I’ll help you, Tooru. Besides, if we shower together we can save on the water bill.”

“Just don’t touch my ass, Tetsu.”

“What ass?”

Another yelp came from the taller one as the pair disappeared down the hallway, bickering as they went and leaving silence and a weird feeling in the air behind them.

Daichi cleared his throat, his cheeks slightly pink as he apologized to his guests once more. 

Akaashi barely blinked an eye. “No need to worry, Daichi. If Bokuto hasn’t scared me away yet, then your roommates won’t either.” 

Iwaizumi nodded in agreement. “Don’t sweat it. Now, we still have to go over our math coursework. Suga, are you joining us now that you’re home?”

Daichi stared at his friends in shock, grateful they were taking this so well. He sat back down in his chair, Suga pulling one next to him after he grabbed his own notes from his room. Suga glanced over at Daichi, nudging his ankle with his foot to get his attention. 

“I told them to take it down a couple notches when they are done with their shower. They should be better when they finish. They just genuinely missed us.” 

He got a smile in return before the study group dove back into studying, the commotion from before now being put behind them. 

It was another thirty minutes before the duo wandered back into the main area of the house, hair damp from their shower. They barely paid attention to the study group as they grabbed water from the kitchen and collapsed on the couch together, looking dangerously close to passing out there. 

Daichi shook his head fondly, flipping the page of his notebook. “I guess the jetlag finally caught up to them.”

Suga sighed, getting up from his chair to toss a blanket over the two before flicking their foreheads. “Oi, dumbasses. Don’t be ruder than you already are, introduce yourselves to the study group.”

Whines came from the pair snuggled together under the blanket but they listened to one of their oldest friends, the brunet introducing himself first. “I’m Oikawa Tooru, double majoring in astrophysics and anthropology. Pleasure to meet you.”

“Kuroo Tetsurou. Double majoring in chemistry and astronomy. Who are you guys?”

That earned him another flick to the forehead from Suga. 

“Be nice, Tetsurou.”

A grunt was his reply.

“I’m Akaashi Keiji, a photography major. Thank you for having me.”

“Iwaizumi Hajime, kinesthetics major.”

“The name’s Terushima Yuuji, currently undecided.”

“Bokuto Koutarou, also a kinesthetics major. Nice to meet you.”

Oikawa lifted his head from where it was laying on Kuroo’s shoulder, squinting at the group still in the dining room. “You all have different majors. Why’d you form a study group?”

“We shared a majority of our general education courses and just naturally came together.” Akaashi shrugged. 

The two on the couch hummed in reply. 

“Have Daichi and Koushi been treating you guys well? Has Daichi kept his temper in check? Has Koushi been tame?” Kuroo managed to dodge the flick coming from Suga this time. “Hey, I’m being serious!”

“Says the least tame person I have ever met.” Suga stuck his tongue out, scooting under the blanket on Kuroo’s other side. 

“Suga, we are still studying.”

“Daichi, our roommates just got home from a year long expedition. Forgive me for wanting to cuddle with them during a rare moment of peace between them.”

Oikawa huffed, settling his head back against Kuroo while pulling the blanket tighter around himself. “So rude, Koushi. Me and Tetsu are always peaceful with each other.”

The roommate at the table snorted, mumbling just barely loud enough for those on the couch to hear. “Only time you two are peaceful are when you’re sleeping or fucking.”

“At least we get action that isn’t from our own hands.” 

“Wha -”

“I told you he would still be sexually repressed when we got back. Poor bastard. He needs to release that frustration, it isn’t healthy to hold it in.” Oikawa clucked his tongue, sending a sympathetic look towards a red faced Daichi. “Tetsu, maybe you should show Daichi your new tongue moves before Koushi. He clearly needs it.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” Kuroo dropped beneath the blanket and slid onto the floor, crawling past Suga on his way towards the group at the table. “I’ll take good care of you, Thigh-chi. We’ll need a safeword. Tooru and Koushi both use - ack!”

Suga stopped Kuroo’s journey with a hard stomp to his lower back, sending the tall man face first into the hardwood floor. Oikawa cackled while Kuroo flailed on the ground, Suga’s foot still planted firmly on his back. 

“Daichi, today is garbage removal day, correct? I hope they didn’t collect it already, we forgot a piece of trash.” Suga hummed, grinding his heel into the base of Kuroo’s spine and drawing out a groan. 

“Careful, Koushi. He’s into that.” Oikawa shifted closer to his friend, cuddling against the silver haired man seeing as his original snuggle buddy was having the shit kicked out of him at the moment. 

Daichi sighed, rubbing his temples. “Can you please behave like normal people for once in your goddamn lives?” He turned his glare from his roommates to give the study group an apologetic look. “I’m so sorry but I think we need to cut this study session short today.”

Iwaizumi snorted, gathering his study materials. “I’d hardly call almost four hours of studying short, but okay.”

“Thank you for having us over.” Akaashi nodded at the hosts, pulling the strap of his bag over his shoulder.

“You guys know you don’t have to leave, right?” Suga took his foot off of Kuroo’s back, ignoring the relieved huff. “You can stay and hang out for a while.”

“Yeah, it will be nice to have company other than these assholes.” Kuroo pulled himself off the floor, ignoring the indignant spluttering of the two on the couch. “Tooru and I will tone it down a bit, promise.”

“Sure, tone it down for virtual strangers instead of your life long friends.” 

“I’m hoping they won’t be strangers for long, Daichi. I mean, if you and Koushi are in a study group with them then me and Tooru will most likely be seeing them often, yeah? Might as well get to know them and try to get along.” Kuroo shrugged, rubbing his back. He caught the shocked look on Suga’s face and rolled his eyes. “Why do you look so surprised?”

“You’re…you’re being mature for once.” Suga turned to Oikawa. “Tooru, check his temp! He must have caught something.”

“On it!”

“Fuck off!” Kuroo swatted Oikawa’s hands away from his face, huffing a bit. “I’ve always been a kind and mature person…to those who deserve it.”

“Well, I can be kinder and maturer than you!” Oikawa stuck his tongue out, flipping Kuroo off. 

“Oh, yeah. Totally proving your own point right there.” Kuroo smirked, crossing his arms triumphantly. “I’m going to charm and respect the hell out of their friends.”

Daichi rolled his eyes, ignoring the now bickering pair by the couch in favor of chatting with his friends. “Suga’s right. You guys can chill here if you want. We can put on a movie or something.”

“Count me in! I’m intrigued by this new dynamic with you and Suga and those two.” Terushima finished packing his school work, dropping his bag onto the chair to saunter into the living room, claiming an armchair for himself. 

“Can we watch a comedy?” Bokuto followed Terushima’s lead, taking one half of the smaller couch for himself. 

Akaashi silently made his way into the living room, taking the unoccupied chair as his spot. 

Daichi turned to the last member of the study group still by the table, arching a brow in question. 

Iwaizumi sighed dramatically, walking into the other room and throwing himself onto the couch next to Suga and Oikawa, who had since returned to his seat. “What the hell? I guess I can handle hanging out with you guys a bit longer.”

Cheers came from Bokuto, Terushima, and Suga as Kuroo turned the TV on after taking a seat next to Bokuto on the couch. Daichi announced he would make popcorn. As the group in the living room debated what to put on, Daichi watched them from the kitchen, a soft smile on his face.

Everything was finally calm for the first time since Kuroo and Oikawa entered the house.

And really, that should’ve been more than enough to tip Daichi off as to what would soon transpire.

Chapter Text

“Yo, Daichi! We saved you a seat!”

Daichi glanced towards the middle of the small lecture hall, the call of his name from Terushima grabbing his attention. With a slight smile the brunet made his way to the row occupied by his study group, slipping into a seat next to Bokuto. 

“It hardly counts as saving a seat if the lecture hall is always half empty and nobody wants to sit with us.” Iwaizumi scoffed from his spot between Bokuto and Akaashi, Terushima on the other side of Akaashi with Suga occupying the last seat of their group. 

“It’s the thought that counts, Iwaizumi.” Bokuto snickered, flipping through his notes to get to the current class topic. 

“Speaking of counting, where is Takeda-sensei? He is normally here well before anyone else.” Suga hummed, glancing around the hall as if their bespeckled professor was hiding in the shadows. 

Unfortunately for Suga, he didn’t receive an answer, only a few half hearted shrugs. Rolling his eyes, the young man went to snark at his friends when he stopped himself, the door that connected the lecture hall to the professor’s office opening and revealing the TA for the class, Shimizu Kiyoko. 

Kiyoko stopped at the desk at the front of the hall, depositing a stack of papers on the surface before adjusting her glasses, leveling the class with a stare that fizzled out any remaining conversations. 

“Takeda-sensei will be a little late to today’s class. He had a last minute meeting come up but has assured me he will be here before the end of the lecture. Today’s class will be a group study session to prepare for the upcoming exam. Use it wisely.”

With that, Kiyoko took a seat behind the desk and began leafing through the papers she had placed there before her announcement. 

The lecture hall slowly began to fill with quiet noise as the students followed the TA’s instruction, reviewing the material with their friends and neighbors. 

Daichi sighed, flipping to the correct spot in his notes as he heard his friends do the same. Clearing his throat, the brunet went to start the group studying but was abruptly cut off by Terushima. 

“Takeda-sensei is never late! I wonder what the meeting is about. Must be important if he is willing to miss part of class for it.”

“You can interrogate Takeda-sensei after class, Terushima. Focus on the notes.” The blond pouted at Akaashi’s dismissal of his attempt at gossip, obeying the direction despite his grumbling about Akaashi being no fun.

The friends quickly fell into their easy and familiar studying routine, exchanging notes and questions when necessary. Daichi was grateful for the peace of studying, allowing himself to relax a bit. He was even grateful for the occasional bickering and side tracked conversations that flowed between the friends. 

It was only when there was about twenty minutes left in the lecture that a true interruption to their studying occurred. 

The door to the lecture hall opened quite loudly, followed by the sound of their professor's voice and three sets of footsteps. 

“Kiyoko, please grab two buzzers from my office and turn on the projector. It looks like I am hosting a competition.”

The TA looked up from the paper she was studying, nodding at Takeda’s words. As she stood up she peered behind him, eyes widening ever so slightly. “Oh, hello Oikawa, hello Kuroo. Nice to see you two have returned safely.”

Daichi’s head snapped up at the mention of his friends, spotting the two waving to Kiyoko politely. He glanced down the row to Suga to see if he knew about their arrival beforehand but he seemed just as shocked to see them.

“Hey, aren’t they your housemates?” Iwaizumi directed his question to Daichi, nodding to the front of the room as if Daichi could ever miss the two beanpoles chatting with the TA. “I thought you said they are a year ahead of us. What are they doing here?”

Before Daichi could respond that he had no idea why those two were in a class that was surely below their level, the two in question answered for him, albeit indirectly. 

“You two are attempting to prove to Takeda-sensei that you don’t need to retake this class after you failed last semester due to your research?” Kiyoko let a small smile spread on her lips as she got the two friends situated at a table in the front. 

“No, we are proving to Takeda-sensei that he doesn’t need to fail us for last semester. We are retaking the class but this little competition is to convince him to wipe the previous grade from our record, seeing as it wasn’t our fault we failed.” Kuroo corrected the TA, accepting the buzzer from her hands with a quiet ‘thank you’.

Takeda snorted, rolling his eyes as he shuffled some papers on his desk, seemingly searching for something. “Oh yeah, it wasn’t your fault that you didn’t hand in your final exam on time because you were too busy partying with ET.”

“ET isn’t much of a party guy, you’re thinking of Predator. Now there’s a party animal.” Kuroo clamped a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter at Oikawa’s words, the brunet sending a smirk in his direction. “And besides, we only turned it in fifteen minutes late, after acing every assignment you gave us.”

“Fifteen minutes late is still late. And you both knew the final was worth forty-five percent of your overall grade. I heard you two were geniuses, but if you were truly smart you would’ve turned your finals in on time with a picture of Martian Manhunter.” Takeda smirked, adjusting his glasses on his nose as the two friends gaped at their teacher. 

Oikawa put a hand on Kuroo’s shoulder when the latter went to retaliate, shaking his head slightly. The brunet turned back to the teacher, eyes aflame with determination. “You want to see our genius? Fine. Let’s up the ante of this little competition, shall we?”

Kuroo slung an arm around Oikawa’s shoulder, matching his roommate’s expression. “We will answer every question you give us without using a calculator or paper or anything other than our brains in under a minute.”

“We will start to answer in under thirty seconds after being presented with the question.” Oikawa countered, feeding off Kuroo’s energy.

“No - we will start our answers in under ten seconds.” 

“And we will answer all of them correctly.” Oikawa crossed his arms over his chest, his grin smug. “If we make even one mistake then our failing grade stays on our records and we will share all of our classified photos from our expedition with you.”

Kuroo stuck his hand out towards the professor, head tilted in a challenging manner. “Do we have a deal?”

Takeda grinned just as smugly back, shaking Kuroo’s hand. “Say goodbye to your decade-long streak of having high marks, boys.”

“Please, it has easily been fifteen years of high marks, Takeda-sensei.”

“Yeah, we aced preschool. We were ‘a pleasure to have in class’.”

Takeda chuckled, turning to hand Kiyoko a small stack of papers. “Please set the first question up under the projector, we will start the competition now.” The short man looked at his class, addressing them as a whole. “I apologize for missing this class time. I hope you used it to study. If you want you may leave early before the scheduled end of class or you are welcome to stay and watch what happens when you let your ego get the better of you.”

“Oh, I’m staying. I want to see if those two live up to their hype.” Terushima snickered quietly, silently asking his friends if they would be joining him as he packed up his notes.

“Fuck it, I’m in.” Iwaizumi followed Terushima’s lead, packing his study materials away. “I’m guessing the looks on their faces when they get knocked down a few pegs will be worth it.”

The other four didn’t verbally confirm their presences, just adjusted their work space as they settled in to watch the pseudo-competition. Their professor bid those that decided to leave farewell before explaining the rules a bit more. “There will be ten questions presented to you. Only one of you may answer, hence the buzzers. No talking to each other once the question has been presented. And as per your request, you will have ten seconds to begin your answer and all questions must be answered correctly or you both fail, this and last semester. Do you understand the conditions?”

“Perfectly.” The best friends replied in sync. 

Takeda smiled at them briefly before walking over to the projector. “Good luck.”

There was a couple of seconds of tense anticipation before Takeda revealed the first question the two had to answer.

Three seconds later a buzzer was sounding off. 

Oikawa smirked at Kuroo, leaning slightly forward in his seat to answer. “Child’s play. The solution is…”

“Holy shit, I didn’t even have time to finish reading the question and he already gave the solution?” Bokuto huffed, eyes wide with awe.

“Correct.”

“Don’t worry, Tetsu-chan, I’ll carry us to victory.” Oikawa hummed, smirk still comfortably in place.

“Kind of like how I carried you through our research work?” Kuroo smirked back, his smugness growing at the slight twitch of Oikawa’s eye. “Next question please, Takeda-sensei.”

The professor complied, presenting the next question to be solved. Another buzzer sounded mere seconds after the problem was revealed, this time Kuroo answered confidently, winking at Oikawa when he was done.

“Oh, it’s on, Tetsurou.” Oikawa challenged, adjusting his posture in the chair with a slightly pinched expression. 

“Ooh, I’m shaking in my boots.” Although Kuroo snickered when he spoke, his eyes flashed with something dangerous. 

Daichi sighed, shaking his head at his two friends, turning to glance at Suga to see he had a massive grin on his face. That sight dragged a groan from Daichi, drawing the attention of his study group to him. Akaashi furrowed his brow in a silent question aimed at Daichi, but it was Suga who answered instead. 

“Daichi is annoyed because now he has to be subjected to Tooru and Tetsurou’s true competitive sides.” 

“But shouldn’t he be used to them? You guys grew up together.” 

Suga chuckled, pausing to listen to Oikawa answer the fourth question, the third having been missed during the start of their conversation. “Those two learned early on in our friendship to tone it down in front of Daichi. Now they only go all out when they are sure he isn’t there to witness them.”

The group’s attention was drawn to the front once more when two buzzers sounded at the same time, turning just in time to see Kuroo and Oikawa standing and glaring at each other. 

“Fuck off, Tetsurou! I buzzed first!”

Kuroo flipped the brunet off, answering the question presented to them before addressing his friend. “Maybe you should go back to primary school, Tooru. Seems like you need a refresher on time and just how short ten seconds is.” Sinking back into his seat with a casual shrug and a wicked grin, Kuroo tilted his head back to stare down Oikawa. “You’re letting me get into your head, showing just how insecure you are in your own abilities. If you were secure, you wouldn’t bother entertaining me. Guess you do see me as an intellectual threat after all, huh?”

“And you’re so rightfully threatened by my intelligence that you need to provoke me in order to throw me off my rhythm, just to give yourself a chance.” A sickly sweet smile flashed in Kuroo’s direction as Oikawa sat down. “That’s a little sad, isn’t it, Tetsu-chan?”

“Yeah, almost as sad as when you hid under my bed sobbing because you didn’t want to be apart from me.”

“I was five!”

“Aw, Tooru, you’ve been in love with me since we were five? Talk about romantic.”

“As if anyone would ever be romantically interested in a Cheshire cat looking dumbass with a shit personality like you. Do us all a favor and crawl back into the pits of hell you escaped from, yeah?”

“Hate to disappoint you but I got banished from hell. Satan said that nothing can be hotter than his domain or no one would respect him so he sent me back here. You’re stuck with me.”

“Kuroo. Oikawa. Are you two going to fight rather than try and salvage your self proclaimed perfect marks?” Takeda cleared his throat, hiding his amused smile behind his fist as the two at the front startled, bowing their heads apologetically before Takeda presented the next question.

“Damn, those two get nasty when in a competition.” Iwaizumi gave a low whistle, shaking his head slightly. 

“Yeah, I almost thought it was going to come to physical violence.” Bokuto continued to stare wide eyed at the friends at the front of the room, watching as Kuroo smugly answered the next question. “Is that why they don’t go all out around Daichi? They don’t want to scare him?”

The sound of Suga slapping his hand over his mouth nearly drowned out the sound of Oikawa’s buzzer, a chortle escaping from behind his palm as he shook with near silent amusement. Once he composed himself, Suga glanced at a resigned Daichi and let out a little snicker. “Those two scaring Daichi? Oh, my sweet Bokuto, no. You have it backwards. Those two don’t go all out in competitions around Daichi because they don’t want to scare him.” Another snicker. “They hold back because they are scared of him.”

“But Daichi is so nice!” Terushima gaped, ignoring the slight bickering at the front as Kuroo answered the ninth question. 

“Stick around and you’ll see what I mean. Tetsu and Tooru have a way of drawing out Daichi’s childish side.” 

A clap at the front brought the group’s attention back to the competition only to see it was over, Takeda smiling proudly at the best friends. “Congratulations, Kuroo, Oikawa. You won. I will make sure to have your failing grade erased from your records.”

“Thank you, Takeda-sensei!” The duo spoke and bowed in sync, assisting Kiyoko in cleaning up the buzzers and the papers that held the competition questions. “We’ll make sure to hand in every assignment on time this semester.”

The study group grabbed their bags and stood, making their way to the front as Oikawa and Kuroo took turns shaking Takeda’s hand. The professor smiled at the two, a little chuckle leaving him. “This could’ve been avoided if you two had just asked for me to reschedule your final.”

Kuroo and Oikawa blanched as the group reached them. “We could’ve done that?!”

Another snicker from Takeda. “For prodigies, you two sure lack common sense.” He took his glasses off, cleaning the lenses before replacing them. “Of course I would’ve rescheduled! After all, you two had a very valid reason, but alas, since you handed it in late and then had your supervisor tell me the reason, my hands were tied.”

Oikawa gulped, sharing a glance with Kuroo. “W-what was our reason?”

“Don’t tell me you forgot you told me about it.”

A shaky laugh from Kuroo while he ran a hand through his messy bedhead. “About what?”

Takeda glanced behind the duo to see the study group, eyes zeroing in on the amused expression on Suga’s face and the annoyance radiating off of Daichi. He winked at the group before answering the question. “Why, your wedding, of course! Congratulations on your marriage, by the way.”

The strangled noises that came from Kuroo and Oikawa were silenced by the gasps from the students behind them, causing them to whip around with pale faces and wide eyes, meeting the betrayed and furious gazes of Suga and Daichi, the other four gaping just behind the pair. 

“You two got married?! And not only did you two not invite us, you didn’t even have the decency to tell us?!” 

Oikawa held his hands up defensively while Kuroo took a slight step back. “Now, now, Koushi, it’s not what it sounds like! We -”

A low laugh cut Oikawa off, everyone’s attention going to the culprit. Daichi shook his head, calmly gazing at the two. “You two…seriously.”

“Oh, fuck. ” Kuroo mumbled, right before grabbing Oikawa by the shoulders and roughly shoving him into Suga, earning a betrayed squeak of his name from the brunet as he turned on his heels. "Sorry, Tooru, every gay for himself!”

Kuroo just barely reached the door of the lecture hall before he was yanked to the ground by the collar of his shirt, a yelp leaving his throat as Daichi towered over his cowering form. “Kuroo Tetsurou. You and our lovely Oikawa Tooru have some explaining to do.”

“Sawamura, you can just let the video their supervisor emailed me do the explaining.”

“There’s a video?!” Oikawa shuddered from his position, Suga holding him in a headlock. 

Takeda nodded, slinging his own bag over his shoulder. “Of course. That is what your supervisor gave me as proof, after all.” Reaching for the door handle, Takeda called over his shoulder before following Kiyoko out of the class. “You two were CC’ed on it and you should really watch it. Might jog your memories.”

Once it was the eight alone in the room Kuroo and Oikawa immediately started to try and defend themselves while simultaneously convince their friends not to try and find the video.

“You don’t want to watch it! It’s probably boring, ha ha, especially if we can’t remember it!”

“Yeah, it’ll just be a waste of ti - ack!”

Daichi and Suga tightened their holds on their roommates, cutting off their pleas for mercy. “You four don’t have classes for the rest of the day, right? Want to have a movie night at our place?”

“It will be fun! Especially since Tetsurou and Tooru are going to be so nice as to show us, right?”

Seeing the evil determination in their roommate’s eyes and the curiosity in the other four pairs, Kuroo and Oikawa resigned themselves to an evening of embarrassment, mumbling their cooperation as they were dragged out of the lecture hall and towards their home.

Chapter Text

The study group made themselves comfortable on the chairs and couches arranged around the television, watching in amused silence as Daichi and Suga supervised Kuroo and Oikawa hooking up the former’s laptop to the television so they could watch the video Takeda had mentioned. The two in trouble had long since given up trying to dissuade their friends from making them show the video, not uttering a sound since their last attempt when all they got in response to their pleas was an eerie smile from Daichi.

“There. It’s all set up now, videos queued up and everything.” Kuroo stood up from his kneeling position in front of the TV stand with a stretch and a step back with Oikawa. “Enjoy our misery.”

Oikawa grabbed Kuroo’s elbow, tugging him back a bit more. “If you need us, we will be sobbing in the bathtub.”

Before the duo could make their move to retreat Suga had already descended on them and wrangled them into sitting on the couch between him and Daichi, Kuroo’s laptop in his clutches. Daichi grinned at his three best friends, checking with the rest of the group to see if they were ready to begin their watch party.

“Let me dim the lights real quick, really immerse us in the experience.” 

Once Bokuto was seated again and gave Daichi the go ahead nod the brunet started the video, ignoring the petrified looks on Oikawa and Kuroo’s faces.

The video began with a blond man sitting at a desk, his head in his hands while he heaved a deep sigh before lifting his head, a tired expression on his face. “Professor Takeda, let me start this off by apologizing for my interns. It wasn’t entirely their fault they missed the deadline. Part of that blame falls on me. I’m Keishin Ukai, Tetsurou and Tooru’s supervisor here at Homey Lake. And it is my employees’ fault that your students failed.” Ukai rubbed his forehead, a small groan leaving his mouth. “My two employees that worked with them throughout their internship here - Issei Matsukawa and Takahiro Hanamaki - were…kind enough to document the entire night - and then some. I have stitched their video with this one. I apologize in advance for the contents of the video and hope you do not further punish Tetsurou and Tooru. They really are smart and good kids…deep down. Anyways, here is the reason why they failed to hand in their exam on time.”

“I wonder how Makki and Mattsun are doing.” Oikawa mumbled, accepting his fate to shift into a more comfortable position on the crowded couch, curling slightly into Kuroo. “We should text them soon, Tetsu.”

Kuroo nodded silently as the video shifted on screen, showing the two men they worked the closest with during their internship sitting in their shared apartment, the one with the slightly pink hair sitting closer to the camera with a tiny smirk while the other male sipped something from a mug, eyes boring into the camera. 

“Hey losers.” The one with the mug spoke, lowering the cup from his face. “We figured you two wouldn’t remember the past twenty four to seventy two hours, so we decided to help out and record them for you. You’re welcome.”

“Issei and I have rightfully named the following video ‘Top Ten Most Entertaining Newbie Moments Compilation’.” 

“We had a hard time narrowing down all the moments from your internship here so it only includes moments the night we concluded our research…plus some honorable mentions.”

“You two better come back and hang out with us again.”

Mattsun took a sip from his mug once more. “Yeah, we plan on making a series out of you two being morons and we need more material. You’ll get royalties, of course. We’re not monsters.”

Makki nodded, typing on an offscreen laptop. “So without any more fanfare, watch your top ten most entertaining moments…of that singular night.”

The television screen went dark for a moment before the phrase ‘Top 10 Most Entertaining Newbie Moments Compilation’ appeared on screen in bold neon purple comic sans. It stayed there for a beat before the words faded, leaving only the number ten on the screen for a moment longer until that too faded into the first moment. 

The scene started out with Makki sitting on a couch in a humble dorm room, grinning into the camera - presumably his phone - for a moment and then the perspective flipped to show Mattsun smirking at him, giving a lazy thumbs up before he cupped his hands around his mouth to amplify his voice. “Tooru! Tetsurou! Get your asses out here!”

Stumbling was heard behind the two closed doors across the coffee table from the men. The door on the left opened first, revealing Kuroo in black skinny jeans and a skin tight red tank top, glasses perched on his nose. He scratched the back of his neck, shifting his weight between his feet. “Are you sure we can come with you guys? We are still under the legal drinking age.”

“True, but you are now technically an employee of the US government for the time being. And so the laws don’t apply to you.” Makki spoke from behind the camera’s view, the movement of the shot indicating he was shrugging.

Kuroo wrinkled his nose, lowering his arm back to his side. “That is messed up.”

Mattsun snorted. “Oh you have no idea. Now lose the glasses or they will break by the end of the night.”

Kuroo took his glasses off, walking back into the room he emerged from while calling over his shoulder. “Hurry up, Tooru! Just put on what I picked out for you, we gotta go.”

Oikawa cursed from behind his door before he stepped out in light wash jeans and cropped loose t-shirt, the glare on his face aimed at Kuroo. “I look like a whore.”

“If the bedazzled stiletto fits, babe.” Kuroo shrugged, wrapping an arm around his friend’s shoulder, turning both their attention back to the men on the couch. “So, where are we going again?”

“The strip.”

“Okay, but you better pay us this time. “

Oikawa smacked Kuroo on the back of the head while Makki and Mattsun burst out laughing. “The Vegas strip, idiot.”

The scene faded as Makki zoomed in on Kuroo’s bright red face, the screen darkening to show the number nine for a moment. When the nine faded the quartet were now seated in a limo, Kuroo and Oikawa seated across from Makki and Mattsun, the latter mid sentence.

“ - ten minutes, so we should do a celebratory shot now. Get the night started off on the right foot.”

Oikawa accepted the shot glass full of liquid he was handed, sniffing it apprehensively before making a face. “We’ve never drank before. Is it supposed to smell like cleaner?”

Kuroo mimicked Oikawa’s actions, barely holding back a grimace. “Yeah, what the hell is this?”

“It’s a vodka from Poland.”

The two interns exchanged nervous glances, turning their attention back to their pseudo mentors. “And we just drink it in one go?”

“Yeah, after we cheers.” Makki explained, holding his own shot glass out along with the other three. “To completing two years of research in ten months thanks to some seriously gorgeous and insanely intelligent brains!”

“Woo!” The other three yelled, tapping their glasses against each other before downing the shot. 

Immediately, Oikawa started coughing while Kuroo audibly gagged, throwing his shot glass at a hysterical Mattsun. “I knew you two were always out to kill us! What the fuck was that?!”

“I think bleach would taste better, holy hell.” Oikawa spluttered, shaking his head in disgust.

“I thought you two were college students. You’ve seriously never had a drink before?” Makki asked through his dying chuckles.

“We started university a year early. Nobody was inviting the two pretentious proteges to anything, especially parties.” Oikawa deadpanned. “We were avoided like the plague.”

“Damn, that is just sad. Why are you bringing the mood down?”

“If you can’t kill them physically, murder their spirits with your tragic life story.” Oikawa nodded along with Kuroo, as if the other boy had made a profound point. 

“...you two are fucked up.”

The number eight graced the screen, fading to reveal flashing strobe lights and glittery figures bobbing and weaving through the crowd. Panning the camera, Makki captures the look of awe on both Kuroo and Oikawa’s faces. Mattsun wrapped an arm around both of them, leading them towards a dark building. “Our party awaits us here.”

“This looks very sketchy, not gonna lie.” Oikawa mumbled, following Mattsun nonetheless. 

The quartet were stopped outside by a bouncer, the man asking to see IDs. Makki and Mattsun handed theirs over, being given the go ahead. The bouncer turned to the younger two, stopping them with a hand to the shoulder when they tried to follow the others. “I need some ID.”

“We don’t have any that you would respect.”

Mattsun face palmed.

“Are you over twenty one?”

“That depends. Are we talking earth years or our home world?” Oikawa put a hand under his chin in a thinking pose. “Because no, we are not twenty one earth years, but back on our home planet we are older than your feeble mind could possibly comprehend.”

“We watched entire civilizations rise and fall before the human race was even plausible. You can’t even begin to understand what we could do to this planet if we so desired.” Kuroo tilted his head to the side, nodding towards a giggling Makki and an exasperated Mattsun. “You see those two? They are under our thrall and if they are more than fifteen feet away from us their brains will boil out of their ears and I feel like that is a situation we would all like to avoid, yes?”

The bouncer looked back at the duo, Mattsun slacking his face while twitching his head to the side every now and then. Sighing, the bouncer waved them on, muttering under his breath about how he doesn’t get paid enough to deal with psychotics.

Kuroo and Oikawa snickered, accepting the high fives from Mattsun and Makki. 

Suga reached over to Daichi’s lap, pausing the video to gape at the two chuckling friends next to him. “Did you two seriously get past security by impersonating aliens?”

Kuroo nodded with a shit eating grin on his face, Oikawa wiping tears from under his eyes. “It helps that Makki used his work ID and that Mattsun convinced Ukai and his superiors to rent the club for the whole base to celebrate our breakthroughs.”

Daichi sighed, shaking his head while addressing the study group. “And these two morons are among the top university students in the country.” He unpaused the video, the number seven showing up on the screen. “Let’s see how much stupider they can get.”

This time they were inside the darkened club, a small stage housing a DJ and their equipment across the room from the bar, the space inbetween filled with dancers and tables. Strobe lights flashed in tune with the bass of the music, illuminating the quartet’s faces every few seconds. They each had a cup of water in their hands, sitting in a half booth near the DJ. Mattsun and Makki were in the middle of teaching the younger two men the way of clubbing.

“ - never accept a drink or any other substance from a stranger. If you do accept a stranger to buy you a drink, make sure they never touch it and watch the bartender make it.”

“Seriously, this could save your lives.”

Oikawa went to make a comment but was interrupted by a stranger sliding into the booth next to him, dropping a baggy of white substance on the table. “You boys want to have some fun?”

“We prefer Pepsi, thanks.”

The man shrugged, going to stand up when Kuroo reached over and grabbed the baggy, opening it and sticking his fingers in it.

Suga once more paused the video, glaring at Kuroo. “You did not do cocaine in a foreign country, right, Kuroo Tetsurou?”

Oikawa snorted, shaking his head. “It is so much worse than that, Koushi. Keep watching.”

Kuroo pulled his fingers out, rubbing the powder between his thumb and pointer finger. “This isn’t real cocaine. It is very obviously fake.”

“How…how the fuck do you know that?” Makki gawked, staring the camera at the would-be drug dealer as he turned red in the face, whether from embarrassment or anger, they didn’t know.

Rolling his eyes, Kuroo handed everyone at the table a small amount of the powder from the baggy. “First of all, the consistency is all off. Real cocaine feels different. This is a mixture of crushed aspirin and confectionary sugar.” Kuroo turned towards the stranger while the other three felt the powder. “Look, I am all for not selling drugs, but if you are avoiding selling real drugs by selling cheap and very obvious fakes like this, you are going to die when you sell to the wrong person. Now, if you insist on conning people into buying fake drugs, make it more believable and start by fixing the consistency. Due to the chemical makeup of cocaine giving it that distinct texture, your best bet for fabricating cocaine is - “

The video on screen fast forwarded, showing Kuroo in high speed gesturing to the man while the stranger took notes on a napkin, nodding along with the explanation. Oikawa and Mattsun could be seen looking enthralled by his rant at first but as the video dragged on they began to start a game of slaps, Makki still focusing the camera on Kuroo and the stranger.

The video returned to normal speed as the man stood up, shaking hands with Kuroo. “No problem, man. And listen, if you take my advice on how to make your fakes more authentic, you could probably raise your prices and increase profits.”

The man nodded, thanking Kuroo one last time before disappearing into the crowd. 

Oikawa turned to Kuroo after slapping Mattsun’s upturned palms. “Are you done with your four year lecture on how to be a better drug dealing conman?”

“It was irritating how wrong he was with his fakes. How could I not correct him?” Kuroo scoffed, sipping his water. 

“I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, you two are fucked up.”

Once more the transition showed up, stating it was the sixth moment. 

Oikawa and Kuroo were in the middle of a heated argument, Mattsun sitting to the side talking with a member of the serving team. 

“ - not humanly possible! You can’t ‘mind over matter’ not being drunk!” Oikawa half screeched at Kuroo, the other boy shaking his head the whole time Oikawa talked. 

“You absolutely can, it has been proven.” 

“By who?!”

Mattsun interrupted the argument by placing a beer in front of both of them. “Stop talking and have fun, oh my fuck.”

Kuroo and Oikawa glanced at one another, simultaneously pushing the bottles away to signal a server over. Oikawa whispered to the server, who nodded before rushing off, returning with a tray full of shots. 

“You two are going to die.” Makki chuckled, zooming in on the absurd amount of shot glasses in front of the two. 

The video paused, a voice over from Mattsun speaking. “This is what we call the shot for shot. In order to save time, we created a montage of the competition with a fitting background song.”

Kuroo and Oikawa tapped the first shot together as the chorus of Shots by LMFAO started playing. The duo on screen took a shot in time with each shouting of the word ‘shots’, pausing to sip their water when ‘everybody’ was shouted before returning to taking shots in tune with the music. The whole time they were downing their drinks a counter in the corner kept track of the amount of shots they were taking, everyone in the common room jaws dropping as the number kept going higher and higher.

Iwaizumi turned to the two squished on the couch, a slight look of horror on his face. “There is no way you two each did thirty two shots in one sitting and survived .”

“You’re right, we didn’t survive. I’m dead inside.” Kuroo deadpanned, getting an elbow to the rib from Oikawa. 

“You were dead inside long before the shot for shot.” Oikawa grumbled, the agreeing nods from Daichi and Suga causing Kuroo to pout and cross his arms.

The Kuroo and Oikawa in the video slammed their last shot glasses down, exaggerated shivers wracking their bodies while doing so. Oikawa was audibly gagging, a hand covering his mouth as Kuroo clutched the edge of the table as if his life depended on it, his eyes completely screwed shut and face twisted in agony.

Oikawa regained his composure first, glaring at Kuroo despite the triumphant and smug grin on his lips. “So much for mind over mattering it, Tetsurou. You’re about to - “

The brunet lurched forward, his hand going back up to his mouth. Kuroo let out a weak cackle, attempting to straighten his posture. “You’re one to talk, Tooru. Over there bout to puke while I can at least finish a sentence. Who’s the real winner?”

“Neither of you. You’re both stupid. Now sit down and sip some water. Don’t chug it, just sip slowly.” Mattsun sighed, shoving two waters towards the hurting interns. He turned to the camera Makki was holding with a deadpan expression. “Let’s take a little break, these two seem to have a death wish.”

Chapter Text

“Wow, you two really know how to kill a vibe.” Daichi drawled, smirking at the offended squawking of his friends.

“That isn’t news to us.” Suga mumbled before resuming the video. “Dramatic bastards.”

On the television screen a montage of the quartet on the dance floor was shown, breaking up the countdown at the halfway mark. Makki had flipped the camera back into the front facing mode, capturing the trio engaging in a dance battle with other clubbers, a few dressed up as classic aliens while others wore Vegas showgirl outfits. On screen Kuroo excused himself from the group to stumble through the crowd towards the bar, barely in view of the camera.

The remaining trio continued to dance without him, only pausing when Makki pointed out Kuroo being chatted up at the bar. “Oh damn, our boy is getting hit on!”

Oikawa whipped his head towards the bar, eyes narrowing when he saw someone dressed up as Predator putting his hand on Kuroo’s lower back to tug him closer, a clearly uncomfortable look on the intern’s face as he was tugged away from the bar and towards the dance floor. “Damnit, Tetsurou. You are too nice sometimes.”

Before Makki or Mattsun could say anything to stop Oikawa the brunet was already shoving his way through the crowd, Makki switching the camera view back around as he and Mattsun followed behind the annoyed looking Oikawa. They broke through the crowd just in time to see Oikawa rip Predator away from Kuroo, positioning himself between them. Predator shoved Oikawa’s shoulder, Mattsun cursing under his breath as he went to intervene, only for Oikawa to punch Predator in the face with a right hook, the cosplayer going down hard. 

“Oh shit!” Makki gasped, catching the moment on film. “Oh, shit ! ”

Kuroo gazed at Oikawa for a second with stars in his eyes before grabbing his friend by the shoulder to spin him around, crashing their lips together as soon as he could. Oikawa responded immediately, tangling his hands in Kuroo’s perpetually messy hair. 

“The punch that started the horny…” Mattsun whispered in awe next to Makki, reaching into his pocket to pull something out. “Hey, idiots!” Oikawa and Kuroo separated to glance over at Mattsun just as he tossed something at them, Oikawa catching it with the hand he pulled away from groping Kuroo’s ass. “There is a private bathroom down the hall. You’re welcome.”

Oikawa grinned at the object in his hand, raising a brow at Kuroo who met his expression with a smirk, entangling their hands before dragging him towards the mentioned hallway. 

“Okay, please tell me you two did not fuck in a public bathroom.” Daichi groaned, rubbing his eyes.

“We didn’t. It was a private one, duh.” Kuroo shrugged, high fiving Oikawa while they chuckled at their friend’s obvious annoyance. 

The video continued, Mattsun in view sipping a beer as Makki questioned whether their two interns were returning or not. 

“They’ll be back. After all, we’re their ride back to the dorms.” Mattsun shrugged, glancing over his shoulder towards the dance floor. He nodded his chin towards the middle of the crowd. “See? There they are.” 

Makki zoomed the shot in on the spot over Mattsun’s shoulder, a laugh escaping him as the view got shaky. When it stabilized enough for those watching to see clearly, Suga joined in on the laughing. 

“Are - are you two wearing showgirl outfits?!” He wheezed, watching as Mattsun and Makki made their way through the crowded dance floor towards their interns. 

On screen Makki mirrored Suga’s question, Oikawa turning his scratched up back away from them to reveal the sequined and tassled bra he was wearing, adjusting his head dress in the process. “What of it?”

“Why?” Mattsun choked out, wiping his eyes.

“Our other clothes got ruined during our sexy fun times so we asked a staff member if there were any spare outfits and this is what they had.” Kuroo shrugged, continuing his dancing without missing a beat, the number four appearing in the corner of the screen, briefly reminding the audience of the countdown.

“Honestly, the world would be a much better and more peaceful place if all of humanity was more genuine and kind hearted as the staff are here. I mean, if you take a look back at all the failed ‘great’ civilizations, they all failed for essentially the same reasons.” The video once more sped up as Oikawa continued to rant even as Kuroo grabbed his wrist and pulled him towards their booth, sliding a water towards him once everyone was seated. “ - like come on! All we need to do is take what works from our predecessors and apply the relevant tactics to our modern lifestyles but no! We are supposedly the most superior species in the galaxy yet we have failed to learn how to properly live together!”

Oikawa chugged his water, ending his rant with a huff as the other three laughed - whether with him or at him was debatable. 

Kuroo’s phone lit up with a succession of notifications, vibrating on the club table. Kuroo went to check his phone, taking a sip of his water as a three graced the corner of the screen for a moment. 

Without warning Kuroo was spewing his water onto the table, a coughing fit wracking his body as he kept his eyes glued to his phone. “Holy shit, I am so fucking gay.”

“We been knew.” Oikawa rolled his eyes, his next snarky reply cutting off when Kuroo shoved his phone in his face. “Oh, wow.”

“Care to share?” Makki hummed, wiping the water off the table with his free hand. 

“Oh, no no no, fuck, I remember this!” Kuroo shuddered, reaching over to grab the laptop from Suga. The shorter roommate pulled the device away from his grasp, slapping his hands away after Kuroo had already managed to pause the video. “Koushi, turn it off!”

Daichi snickered, seeing real embarrassment on his friend’s face. “What’s the matter? Finally developed a sense of shame?”

Oikawa joined the wrestling match between Kuroo and Suga, almost snatching the laptop away from the flailing Suga. “Of course not, Daichi. We just feel as if everyone in this room would be more comfortable if we didn’t view this next scene.”

“Oh, now we have to see it.” Bokuto chuckled, turning the volume up on the television while ignoring the whiny protests from Kuroo and Oikawa.

The video resumed, showing the two interns started talking at the same, their gazes locked on Kuroo’s phone.

“Do you see the muscles on - “

“ - oh my god, his eyes - “

“ - want him to choke me - “

“ - seriously too pretty, what the fuck - “

Mattsun snatched the phone away from Kuroo and Oikawa, studying the screen. “Huh. They all are pretty hot.” He handed the phone back to Kuroo. “Which ones are your roommates?”

“You should recognize them, we’ve facetimed with Dai and Koushi before.”

“Right, right. And who are the others?”

At that moment Kuroo let out a gasp, grabbing Oikawa by the straps of his sequined bra. “Tooru! Do you know what this means?”

“That Daichi and Koushi have formed a study group full of delicious guys?”

“And what does that mean for us?”

This time Oikawa gasped, clutching Kuroo just as desperately. “No!”

“What the hell are you two talking about?”

“Daichi and Koushi have found other seriously smart and hot guys to be friends with! And I know they’ve gotta be smart, I mean, they are a study group! They don’t need us anymore, we are being left behind. Thrown away. Discarded like yesterday's news. Unwanted toys.” Kuroo sniffed, wiping at his eyes.

Oikawa cooed at Kuroo as the number two and the words The Proposal appeared in the corner of the screen. “Aw, Tetsurou, they may be abandoning us, but I would never leave you. We’ll stick together forever!”

Makki snickered from behind the camera. “Sounds kinda like you are proposing to him.”

The brunet shrugged, glancing at his teary eyed best friend. “Maybe I am. What do you say, Tetsurou? Wanna get married?”

Kuroo straightened up, wiping his eyes briefly before grabbing an unused napkin to fiddle with. “ No, that was a shitty proposal.”

Oikawa scoffed, eyes narrowing in on Kuroo’s hands while grabbing his own unused napkin. “Well how would you propose then?”

Holding up a hastily made napkin ring, Kuroo cleared his throat and stated his proposal. “Oikawa Tooru, will you do me the honor of dicking me down for the rest of my life?”

Oikawa held up his own napkin ring, matching deadpan expression. “Only if you’ll dick me down for the rest of my life too.”

They slid the rings on each other's fingers to the sound of Mattsun and Makki absolutely losing it. Makki recovered first, the view from his phone occasionally shaking from his fading laughter. “Who’s last name will you be taking?”

“I will take Koushi’s last name and Tooru will take Daichi’s, that way they will still be apart of us.”

“And we can show them what they are missing out on, what they could’ve had if they hadn't left us behind for four Adonises.” Oikawa sniffed, admiring his ring. “They’ll watch as Sugawara Tetsurou and Sawamura Tooru take the world by storm, always wondering about the ones that got away.”

“When’s the wedding? It could be anytime seeing as we are in Vegas.”

“Right now! Tooru, let’s go find a venue!” Kuroo grabbed his hand, tugging him to his feet until they bumped into the Predator cosplayer. “I don’t have time for you, I’m getting married!”

“I know. I overheard. I could perform the ceremony if you want, as a way of apologizing for my behavior earlier.”

Oikawa let out a high pitched squeal. “Tetsu! We are going to be wed by an alien! Dreams do come true!”

The screen faded to black as the words The Wedding appeared in golden cursive script along with firework effects, the screen returning to show a dimly lit alleyway occupied by Predator and the other four, Kuroo and Oikawa standing before Predator with Mattsun beside Oikawa, barely holding in his laughter. 

“Issei, be serious! This is an important mistake in their lives, don’t ruin it.” Makki hissed from his spot next to Kuroo.

“Excuse the fuck out of you! Marrying ‘ru could never be a mistake.”

“Aw, Tetsurou! Stop! You’re gonna make me cry and then that will ruin our wedding photos.”

“But you’re so pretty when you cry.”

Predator cleared his throat to gain the attention of the soon to be newlyweds. “Not to break up this touching declaration of feelings but we have a wedding to do and I have a deadline to meet tomorrow so I would like to get some sleep after this.”

Oikawa nodded vigorously, fixing his face into a serious expression before he reached over to grab Kuroo’s hands. “Okay, okay. I’m ready.”

“Deadline…tomorrow…” Kuroo furrowed his brows, glancing up at Oikawa. He gasped, clutching his hands tighter. “‘Ru! We have a deadline! Our test!”

Oikawa let out a choking sound, real tears falling down his cheeks. “We are going to fail! Fuck! I’ve never failed before…”

“I’m not going to let that happen, come on! We still have time to turn it in!” Kuroo tugged Oikawa away from the confused Predator pastor and towards the mouth of the alley.

“Huh, even black out shitfaced those two are nerds through and through.”

“They are gonna get themselves killed trying to get back to the dorms.”

“...Wanna watch?”

“Duh.”

The shot faded to Makki and Mattsun back in their apartment still sipping their beverages. Mattsun put his cup down with a satisfied sigh before addressing the camera. “And that was just one night of entertainment we got free from you two. But since we are so generous and thought ahead, we also managed to get the morning after.”

“It’s very heartwarming but it does kind of make you look very cringey, Tetsurou. Sorry, but sacrifices had to be made.”

The scene changed once more, this time to show the outer dorm door, Mattsun’s hand raised to knock. A series of groans was heard from behind the door once he did and the two men on the outside snickered before entering the dorm. When they walked in they found Kuroo sprawled across the couch with a pillow shoved over his head, Oikawa acting as a blanket on top of him. 

“Oh, they are hurting .” Makki snickered.

Oikawa whined, sitting up off Kuroo’s back. “Shh, not so loud.”

“How did your tests go?”

At the mention of their test Oikawa let out a wail, throwing himself back on top of Kuroo, the other man letting out an annoyed huff before shoving the brunet off his body. Oikawa landed in a lump on the floor, his body shaking with sobs. 

Makki hissed sympathetically. “That bad, huh?”

Kuroo grunted, leaving it to Oikawa to explain their situation. “We would’ve aced it if our professor actually graded it but no! He refused to grade them because we were late turning it in!”

“So now we failed.” 

Oikawa wailed again, staggering to his feet. “I have never failed a class before. This is awful.” The brunet stopped sobbing, tears silently leaking out of his eyes as he stared distantly at the wall. “I am going to kill myself.”

“Yo, what the fuck?!” Mattsun startled following Oikawa as he dashed into the kitchen. “Tetsurou! Your idiot friend is trying to die!”

Suga stared wide eyed at his two friends, Kuroo and Oikawa wincing and avoiding eye contact with anyone.

“I don’t blame him.”

“Now is not the time, help me stop him!” 

The Kuroo on screen groaned, heaving himself up into a sitting position. “Tooru, if you are looking for the bleach I put it back in the bathroom.”

“Dude! What?!”

“Are you seriously encouraging him right now?!”

Kuroo shrugged, glancing over his shoulder when Oikawa walked back into the frame. “Yes, and?”

“What the fu - “

“Tooru has been my biggest inspiration and my biggest rival since we were young. He would never give up due to a minor bump in the road. And if he did? Well, that isn’t a Tooru worth competing against.” Kuroo sneered, turning towards Oikawa. “Go ahead, do it, but just know that means in a few months I will be older than you and then I will be getting all of my degrees while you stay six feet under with an incomplete education and unfulfilled degrees. I will definitively win everything and you’ll lose.”

“Tetsu, we failed. Completely flunked a course due to our reckless behavior! This will be the first blemish on our spotless records. Don’t you care?”

“I would care…if it was going to stay on our records.” Kuroo smirked, pulling himself off the couch to approach Oikawa. “Who said we can’t get this wiped from our records?”

Oikawa stared long and hard at Kuroo. “Explain.”

“Simple. We ask Professor Takeda to reconsider failing us and to forget we ever took this course this semester.”

“He won’t agree.”

“I know. That is why we counter his refusal with a different offer. Instead, we ask to prove ourselves through a competition and ‘bargain’ our way into getting this semester wiped from our transcript. We will offer that if we win then we forget this semester ever happened. He will most likely come back at us with us still having to retake the course and we pretend to ponder it before accepting. Then the rest will be a cakewalk.”

Oikawa smiled, a disbelieving laugh escaping him. “You should’ve been a business major.”

“Maybe I’ll add that as a minor and get more degrees than you.” Kuroo smirked. “Leave it to me, now go get us some coffee, we have a flight to catch in a week.”

“Dramatic ass.” Makki muttered, watching as Oikawa hugged Kuroo quickly before dragging Mattsun out of the dorm. As soon as the other two left Kuroo sagged into the couch, covering his face with a pillow before screaming. “Uh, you good, dude?”

Kuroo snapped upright, eyes wide as he stared at Makki. “My best friend came close to attempting suicide this morning and I goaded him on.”

“Yeah but you talked him down.”

“But what if I didn’t? What if he actually thought I wanted him to kill himself?! And then he did?! I would never be able to live with myself for killing him and robbing him of his bright future, robbing our friends of him, and depriving the world of his genius.” Kuroo groaned, shoving his face back into the pillow. “He is destined for greatness and I almost ruined it.”

“Tetsurou. Nothing happened. He was overwhelmed and freaking out and you helped him come back to his right mind. And not for nothing but you are talking as if you aren’t just as smart and destined for greatness as he is.”

Kuroo snorted. “Smart? Yes. Destined for anything? Nah. And I’m okay with that. I was meant to be a challenge to him and Koushi and Daichi, something to urge them on to fulfill their potential.” He rubbed his eyes, turning to stare right at Makki. “And I will be cheering them on the whole way.”

The video paused, switching back to Makki and Mattsun, the former snickering. “You’re welcome, Tetsurou. I cut out the rest of your monologue to use at a later date. Or sooner, if you pay the right price, Tooru. There is some good stuff in there.”

“Anyways, don’t be strangers. And we fully expect you two to take care of us if we ever visit Japan, got it?”

“Good luck with your degrees!”

The video ended, the room silent while they all wrapped their heads around what they just saw. 

Oikawa cleared his throat, slightly glaring at Daichi and Suga as if daring them to argue. “Well, there you have it. We didn’t actually get married so you have no right to be pissed at us anymore.”

“Are we not going to talk about the morning after?”

“Not with a bunch of people Tetsu and I don’t really know, no. Besides, we’re fine now. Clearly.”

“Yeah, and you think we are fine too.” Bokuto snickered, waggling his brow suggestively. 

Kuroo snorted. “You’re not wrong, my dude.” He nodded at Daichi and Suga, standing from the couch he had been forced onto. “Don’t read into this but I am going to take a nap now, got my work study later. See you guys later.”

“On that note, I’m going to head out too. I’ve got an assignment due in a few days that needs to get done.” Iwaizumi’s departure triggered the rest of the guests to leave as well, everyone saying goodbye after promising to meet later in the week for their regularly scheduled study group.

As the four guests walked out together, Terushima couldn’t help but voice a question that had been stewing in his mind for a bit. “Do you think Kuroo and Oikawa are going to join the study group now?”

Akaashi hummed. “That definitely seems like a possibility.”

“Hope we can actually get some studying done with them around if they do join.”