Chapter Text
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Jane lifted a hand to her mouth, the pads of her fingers featherlight along her lips as she dared to remember Ryan’s kiss. The brash nature and scratch of his mustache left her skin red and itchy. The memory still made her shudder, and she did her best to continue to will away the intrusive feeling.
She hadn’t told Frank about the ordeal, hadn’t even told him it was Ryan she saw to set up the Waterfall Grotto as the site for their reception. It was easy enough to lie and say she hired a wedding planner, giving her an excuse to, once again, leave the complex any time Project Atlas was brought up. Much like today, she was quick to grab her purse at the mention of Reggie taking Jack to the range again, throwing out the schedule she had with meeting the planner for her wedding dress. Of course, she had every intention of going out looking for a dress regardless, but she wanted anything to keep Frank from coming with her. Anything to keep the sanctity of the groom from seeing the bride’s dress until the big day, but also to keep any conversation surrounding Ryan from surfacing.
He had given her and Frank time, and she intended to take full advantage of that, regardless of Project Atlas.
Jane dropped her hand from her lips to fiddle with the satin fabric belt keeping her robe closed. Her attention focused on her reflection in the mirror before her, and she couldn’t help but notice how…fatigued she looked. A deep frown pulled at her features, and her eyes appeared sunken in her skull. It could have been attributed to the dimmed lighting in the dressing area of Lottie’s shop, but her overall disheveled appearance soured her mood even further to where tears pricked the corner of her eyes for a second.
She wiped them quickly once she saw Lottie’s reflection. The woman struggled with a few gowns slung over her arm, huffing while trying not to drag them along the floor.
“Now, I do have a few here. But if none of these suit you, I’ll have to talk to a friend of mine in Fort Frolic who also keeps some wedding inventory.”
If anything, she had to admire the woman’s excitement as Lottie took to hanging each dress on a nearby rack, turning to Jane with a beaming smile. The shop owner had to be the most thrilled out of everyone Jane had already told about an official wedding date. She’d have to remember to send Lottie an invite…
“Oh, I’m sure you’ll have something.” Jane interrupted her thoughts, smoothing out her robe with a forced smile. “You always seem to have something that suits me just right, Lottie.”
The woman beamed, “Anything for one of my best customers! And not just because you come to me for all your fashion needs, but you’re just wonderful to work with, dear.”
Her words were like a stake in Jane’s heart.
“O-oh, well, thank you, Lottie.” The ache in her chest caused her to turn her eyes away from the woman and back towards the line of dresses awaiting her. “You’ve always been so kind to me, especially when it feels like the rest of Rapture isn’t.”
She muttered the last part, hoping for her words to go unnoticed under her breath, but Lottie, who had ears like a bat, heard her regardless.
“Oh, honey.” Lottie shuffled up behind her on the dressing platform. “I know things have been rather rocky lately. Fontaine isn’t giving me all the details, but I have an idea that it hasn’t been all sunshine and rainbows.” Jane felt the tears brim on her lower lid again as Lottie placed her hands along her shoulders to give a reassuring squeeze. “But, both of you have this to look forward to, the wedding. It’s supposed to be an incredible day, and I’ll do anything to help make it so.”
God, she truly didn’t deserve this woman in her life.
Jane gave a weak smile to Lottie through the mirror, lifting her hands to gently wipe the tears from her eyes before they could stain her cheeks.
“Thank you, Lottie. Truly.”
“Of course, honey.” Lottie only returned the smile, but larger and more brilliant. “Now, let's find you your perfect wedding dress!”
For the first time in a few days, Jane could see her expressions and features brighten as she tried on dress after dress, twirling around to watch the delicate fabrics sway in the mirror. Each dress was so different in its own way; some were lace, some had a more silk-like material, but all had elements she wished she could pick off and fabricate into a whole new dress. She still had her mother’s wedding dress that she was able to snag before leaving her father in New York, and she even debated with herself about asking Lottie to tailor it to fit Jane’s style. At the same time, she wanted something new. Rapture was supposed to be a new opportunity for her, a new life, a new start, especially with Frank. It was only appropriate that she included that mindset for her wedding. Regardless of what would happen after, it was a new chapter she needed to fall headfirst into, starting with the perfect dress.
Jane smiled at her reflection after doing another twirl in her current dress. It was a beautiful A-line with a swoop neck and frilly short sleeves, paired with a rhinestone belt that added just a little character. However, while she thought it was gorgeous, it wasn’t exactly what she wanted.
“Hmm, this one looks like a miss as well.” Lottie hummed to herself, holding her chin in her hand as she watched Jane sway with her own pensive look.
“I like the overall shape,” Jane admitted, focusing on the skirt’s movement. “It’s just…the top and skirt, it needs something.”
Lottie circled Jane, fluffing the skirt of her dress to lay in an almost perfect circle along the platform she stood on. Jane tried to stand as still as she could, a small smile tugging at the corner of her lip as she watched the other woman and the gears visibly turning in her head.
Something clicked then. The lightbulb was almost visible as Lottie clicked her tongue with a wave of her hand and skittered off to the back storage area. The woman’s mannerisms pulled another smile, and Jane tilted her face away from her reflection to hide it from herself as she studied her current dress.
What if the skirt was shorter? Frank had recently gifted her a pair of beautiful silver heels with subtle rhinestones decorating the strappy toe. She could certainly wear those and a dress with a shorter skirt to show them off. Oh! And what if that dress had a matching rhinestone belt like this one? Something sparkly to catch the subtly warm lighting she noticed in the Grotto…
Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted again as Lottie came bounding out from the corner she had disappeared behind. However, Jane’s curiosity was instantly piqued when she noticed the dress the woman had slung over her arm was not white but a gorgeous light seafoam blue.
“Now, just bear with me, dear. I know it’s not white, but if the fit and fabric are what you’re looking for, I can absolutely have the same dress made in white.”
As Lottie hung the dress on the rack, Jane’s jaw dropped, eyes bugging as she rushed off the dressing platform to get a better look. It had a shorter skirt and a very faint floral pattern embroidered onto the bodice, as the skirt was mainly tulle. The blue, however, was the most stunning part of the dress. It was very light, but the distinct blueish-green seafoam was still present in each fold of the fabric. Her fingers reached out to trace the embroidered flowers, only to find there were a few crystals integrated in as well, and her heart swelled.
This was it, and she didn’t even have it on yet!
Lottie had been watching her with fascination, eventually encouraging Jane to change so she could try the dress on and examine it in more detail. The dress slipped on effortlessly, and the fit was already incredibly close. Excited, Jane held the bodice while Lottie secured the zipper and a few extra clips in the back. Her jaw dropped slightly as she oogled her reflection.
The dress was even better seeing it on her figure; the shape of the swooping neckline angling down the bodice into the aline skirt made her appear so much taller, accentuating her simple hourglass figure as the skirt stopped around her mid-claves. It left her breathless, each small rhinestone stitched into the floral pattern, catching the lighting above and sparkling as she twirled from side to side. A smile was slow to lift her features, the first genuine smile brightening her overall mood in a while.
“Lottie, it’s - “
“It’s absolutely gorgeous!” Lottie chimed in before Jane could even begin to think of a similar adjective. “You look like a bride in this dress, Jane, if I’m being completely honest with you.”
Yeah…she could see that, too. She could definitely see her wearing this dress down the aisle and during her first dance with Frank. The thought actually brought tears to her eyes, fogging her vision for a second, and she wiped them away before they had a chance to streak her face and ruin her makeup.
“I also wouldn’t change the color either.” Lottie hummed to herself as she fluffed out the tulle of the skirt. “What do you think, dear? Is it missing anything? Something we should change or take away?”
Jane took a second to study the dress, imagining it on her wedding day and exactly how she’d want it to look while getting ready that morning.
“I think it needs a rhinestone sash or belt to match the small crystals in the bodice…and the sleeves are a little tight for my liking; I’d want to see them hang from my shoulders - to flow a little bit, if you know what I mean?”
Lottie didn’t hesitate to pull a tape measure and notebook from her apron to start measuring Jane’s shoulders for the sleeves and waist for the belt. She noted every little detail Jane pointed out that she would change, ensuring this dress would be immaculate for her big day. Her excitement blossomed as they finalized the changes, setting a date when the alterations would be complete so Jane could return and retry the dress. Her mind started whirring again on what jewelry pieces she’d pair with the dress and the heels Frank gifted her, how she’d do her hair and makeup, and -
“So,” Lottie interrupted the brief silence between them as she helped Jane out of the dress and back into her robe. “I’m so pleased we found your dress, but what about bride’s maid dresses? Do you and Frank have a theme or color scheme picked out for the wedding and bride’s maids or maid of honor?”
The question had her fingers pausing along the robe’s sash, her mind going blank as her gaze was slow to lift toward the other woman.
“Um…I - we don’t have a color scheme yet, actually…”
Lottie stood there with the dress now in her arms, watching Jane with a smile. “Oh, that’s alright, dear. Those are the little details you worry about after figuring out your dress, the venue, the food -”
Jane watched as Lottie returned the dress to its hanger on the rack, peeling her notes from her notepad to pin to the dress. “What about bride’s maids? Surely you must have chosen a couple of your friends already. I can always play around with different dress shapes if you’re alright giving me their sizes.”
Something heavy pierced her heart before sinking to her stomach. Friends? Oh…of course. She has friends who could be her bride’s maids. There’s…
“Right…um—” Jane swallowed hard, clutching the sash to her robe as her mind raced through the many faces of friends she once had.
Her heart rate quickened in a panic, and she realized then and there that she really had no one to ask to be her bride’s maids. A deep sorrow filled her chest at the thought of Ann, realizing it’d been months since she’d last spoken to her or even thought about what she’d be up to now. Even considering the other scientists she came to know and make causal friends with at the labs or the few women working the freezers at the Fisheries. It was a revelation; she really had no one...
Her internal hysteria must have been evident along her features. Her eyes quickly shifted left and right as her thoughts raced too quickly. The realization hitting her too hard.
“Jane?” She suddenly heard Lottie’s voice through the haze, lifting her attention toward the woman who watched her with a concerned crease on her brow.
Yet, she didn’t push it, much to Jane’s relief, as Lottie stepped forward to run her hand along the sleeve of her robe, a comforting touch on her arm. “How about we worry about the bride’s maids’ dresses later, yeah? I can work on your dress in the meantime. It might take me a couple of weeks to finalize all the little details you want anyway.”
Jane nodded slowly, blinking the tears away with a forced smile. “Y-yes, of course. I’ll need to talk to Frank about our color scheme as well, if that’ll help.”
Lottie returned her smile with a nod, but Jane could see the empathy in the woman’s eyes. Neither of them had to say it out loud, yet Jane wondered if that made things worse, the subtle acknowledgment that sat between the two women like a wedge as Jane left the boutique moments later. She at least had a date when her dress would be ready to try on again and a rough estimate on how much the dress plus the alterations would be. But she couldn’t seem to shake the immense sense of loneliness she hadn’t even realized was weighing on her as much as it was.
Jane slowed her steps as she adjusted the strap of her purse on her shoulder, her grip remaining tight on the leather as she stared ahead through the crowds along the High Street. Could she maybe get away with not having any bride’s maids or a maid of honor? Would people look at her funny to see her alone at the altar, with no entourage standing behind her with tears in their eyes as they’d watch her finally make things official with Frank? Did something like that even really matter?
Even if it was an element that wasn’t really necessary to include in a wedding, she still couldn’t shake the memory of the last time she and Ann had spoken to each other.
That night, that dinner…Jane dropped her gaze to the ground before her, watching the slightly scuffed tips of her heels with each step, her mind whirring. She’s been so busy recently, everything with the Futuristics, her project, the Fisheries, all of it enough to keep her mind preoccupied and distracted. And ever since that night, she had buried her and Ann’s fight deep within her subconscious.
She didn’t need friends, and she didn’t need such relationships holding her back. Ann was only pointing out every wrong, every flaw, and every problem with her and Frank’s relationship, but only because she didn’t know. And if anything, Jane regretted not being able to tell her, not having the guts to explain everything, and then having Ann swear she would keep their secret safe as well…because she was her friend, right? And that’s what friends do…
Jane lifted her head to find she had wandered down to the first floor of the High Street, a good bit of the crowd thinning out with fewer stores to shop in down here. There was, however, the Express station with very few people milling about the platform, and she stopped dead in her tracks.
What if…
Slowly making her way over to the Express schedule, she scanned each line, searching for the next train, her heart thumping in her chest once spotting what she was looking for. She paced towards the ticket booth next, fishing a few cents from her purse to pay the weary-looking man behind the counter as he gave her a subtle, incredulous look after handing her the ticket. Yet, she didn’t bother with an explanation, taking the ticket with a smile and a ‘thank you’ before making her way to the platform where the next train was already pulling in. Dripping still with salt water as the airlock door clanged shut behind it, she was quick to join the line consisting of only four other people to board.
She took a window seat towards the back of the train car, settling in with her purse on her lap, noticing the seastar stuck to the window, and she inhaled a shaky breath.
Familiar, like nothing had ever changed.
After waiting a few minutes, the train finally departed the station again, the airlock doors shuttering open as the train creaked along its overhead track, back out into the ocean's darkness. Jane lifted her hand to rest her chin against her palm, leaning against the window as her eyes slipped shut. The gentle rattling of the car along its track was a comforting motion, one that always lulled her into a quick nap, the trip from the labs to her apartment long enough to allow her a few solid minutes of rest. The lights also dimmed within the car as it traversed deeper under the city.
Then, when the subtle jerking of the train signaled it was about to stop at another station, Jane opened her eyes to find the seastar still stuck to the window. However, the deep sea debris clouded whatever view they’d have outside of the train car, yet it was a sight she was all too familiar with.
The Drop was a part of Rapture that seemingly never changed, no matter what nonsense was happening further up the water column. It was a city within a city, its people going about their business with a firm distaste for both Ryan and Fontaine, content to live with the fact that they were wholly ignored. The Drop had a peace to it defined by the warm smiles from those who had very little to their name and those who worked for scraps but would seldom complain so long as they were returning home to loved ones. Built from the leftovers of Rapture, it wasn’t beautiful by any means, but the people still made the place unique.
Until…it wasn’t.
Jane had to suppress the shock as soon as she stepped from the train and onto the rusted platform. Or, at least, onto the part of the platform that wasn’t underwater.
The high-pitched hissing from a nearby busted pipe just on the other side of the platform confirmed the concerning sight of flooding. And if that already didn’t unsettle her, it was the giant warning signs covering the few train schedule boards scattered throughout the platform. Large, intimating blocks of text informing anyone coming and going via the Express that the Drop’s platform was to be eliminated from the schedule entirely due to the flooding. Her brow furrowed once realizing that Ryan would instead trap the Drop’s residents than fix the issue causing the flooding.
Her heart sank to her stomach, sitting like a lead weight as she paced within the platform, noticing a few ticket booths had already been shut down. The sight hurt more than she could have expected; this place that used to be her first home down here in Rapture, completely forgotten and abandoned.
She pushed through the troubling atmosphere, leaving the platform as her heels clicked down the concrete hallways leading toward the center of the Drop. The path from the station was always one she traversed through rather blindly, even when she did live down here. However, once seeing the reality of the state surrounding the platform, her eyes swept across the rusted scraps of metal and tarps littered with propaganda showcasing the residents' disdain for Ryan. Graffiti, posters, and handmade signs all voicing the collective frustration of a higher figure’s neglect. Though, she did avoid eye contact with several homeless men surrounding a burning can, all muttering amongst themselves about their individual inventories of ADAM and how Ryan betrayed them and their families. The prolonged second glance they did serve her with was enough to make her skin crawl, her strides lengthening to move past them as quickly as possible.
However, the second she stepped into the Drop’s square, she had to swallow the lump in her throat from the instant desolation that greeted her.
The echoing sound of water dripping consistently from somewhere had her on edge, the hand gripping her purse’s strap shifting to clutch at her dress along her chest. So many stores within the square had been half-hazardously boarded up with dark, soulless, cracking windows staring back. What few lights dangled from the ceiling before now flickered with smashed bulbs, hanging precariously on fraying cables. The sudden smell of mold and mildew assaulted her nose as well, realizing just how long she’d been away from the Drop to not be immune to its flaws and shortcomings anymore.
The only beacon of light that still remained was from the warm neon glow of the Fishbowl Diner at the center of the square, paired with the humming crowd within the limited space. The smile was slow to crawl across her face, the sheer comfort radiating from the unheard chatter and wide smiles pulling her in and away from the balmy chill of the Drop. Jane wandered up to the windows near the front entrance, the sweet citrusy smell of their famous peach pie wafting up into the air around the diner. Her nose also picked up on the savory scent of bacon, her mouth-watering as memories surfaced of the routine breakfasts she’d have here with Ann and James.
While watching the cooks through the tiny windows behind the bar, she had to do a double take as a waitress blocked her view for a second. Then, she saw a brief flash of a yellow dress, and she knew it immediately to be Ann.
Jane had to search the diner again, finally catching Ann helping a table on the other end of the diner and she smiled softly. Ann appeared as if she hadn’t changed a bit. She had her beautiful curly hair pulled up in a bun with a white bandana tied in a stylish bow to keep the longer strands out of her face. She could feel the other woman’s bright smile even from outside the diner, instantly drawn in like a moth to a flame, and it felt like, at that moment, that their fight had never happened. It felt like she had just returned home from a long midnight shift at the Medical Pavilion, one of her very first jobs in Rapture, to meet Ann for breakfast just as she was finishing her own shift.
The spark of joy at the memories lifted her hand to the door of the diner, caught up completely in the idea that their friendship could be reconciled over a cup of coffee. She could forgive Ann, she wanted to. She wanted nothing more than to have the one person who stuck by her side through thick and thin down here in this godforsaken city back in her life. Yet, just as her fingers were inches from the slightly fogged glass of the diner’s front door, a wave of cold sorrow washed over her, and her hand lowered. Just as Ann turned from the table to head back to the kitchen, Jane inhaled a shaky breath and staggered to hide herself within a small crowd of people approaching from behind her, completely evading Ann’s gaze.
Stepping aside to let the others through ahead of her, she clutched again at the fabric of her dress to steady the pounding of her heart. She blinked several times to clear the haze of memories, the dank and musty smell of the Drop harshly tugging her back to reality as she took a few stumbling steps back from the diner.
She couldn’t…she couldn’t do this.
Dragging her hand down from her chest, Jane gripped the sleeve of her dress as she quickly turned from the diner and paced back to the Express station. Tears welled in her eyes as she kept her gaze glued to the ground in front of her, not even caring about the few puddles of seawater she neglected to avoid, which soaked her heels a bit.
She couldn’t make amends with Ann if her only purpose were to be her bride’s maid. She couldn’t try to act like their fight never happened when Jane constantly fought with herself on how Ann was right with some of her points regarding Jane’s relationship and overall personality change. While she still didn’t know the truth, Jane couldn’t bring her back into her life when the future promised so much…unknown. Frank promised her that he’d do anything in his power to keep her safe from whatever bullshit Ryan was about to evoke. There was no guarantee Jane could do the same for Ann.
Several moments later, she was back on the Express train heading to Apollo Square, the weight of what she had just done sitting heavy on her shoulders. She was the only person on the train this time, but she still found herself huddling close to the windows, in the same seat with the seastar stuck to the bottom corner of the fogged glass. Leaning her head against the window, she quickly wiped at the tear rolling down her cheek, tasting the salt on her lip, and she inhaled another deep, shaky breath.
And as the train disembarked back out into the ocean, she closed her eyes to the rattling of the car traversing along its overhead tracks, an ache in her chest for many things: missed opportunities, lost friendships. Little did she know it would be the last time she’d ever see the Drop or Ann alive again.
~*~