Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

They say it takes a village to raise a child.

The first time Remus Lupin heard that saying, he was only six years old. Too young to understand what it meant but not young enough to not feel its impact, especially in the years to come.

Remus has the feeling that his childhood —and him, in consequence— would’ve turned out quite differently if he’d been raised anywhere else. Even after all these years, he still wonders if it was destiny or magic that made the Lupins end up in that particular small town in the southwest of England.

Maybe a little bit of both.

Halzar is a small place in Cornwall where the wind bites and the ocean sings; A magical place on its own where skipping stone contests where held every third Saturday of the month; where neighbours got together in the summer for an annual kite festival and everyone enjoyed themselves surrounded by the sounds of the waves.

And after so many years, the Lupins certainly embodied the spirit of the peculiar place they got to call home.

For starters, there’s his dad.

Lyall Lupin, with his grand collection of worn-down jumpers that he’d inherited from his father, his terrible dance moves and his fascination with bolero music. He’s the kind of person that’s always down for a chat, no matter the day, no matter the hour. A permanent presence in the house, wandering around with his patterned socks, singing under his breath at the rhythm of his favourite music playing on the record player.

Lyall Lupin, who collects whatever that catches his eye at flea markets to sketch later or just to keep them. Any little knick-knack he finds along the way and hides in his studio. His wife tuts at him every time she sees him trying to sneak another chipped mug into his studio and Lyall always snickers like a little kid who got caught doing something prohibited. As if he didn’t walk in front of her on purpose.

And after giving up teaching on his 50th birthday, time seemed to fold around him, bending to his will.

Lyall is —and has always been— the best choice for when you need a respite from the world. Someone you could silently sit with to paint or play desk tennis. Maybe even cards, if you caught him in a particularly good mood—which was always. Lyall, who could tell you so many interesting things about so many topics, almost like a walking encyclopaedia. Remus could listen to him for hours on end and never get bored or tired.

Perhaps that was the magic about teaching.

Or maybe, that was just his father's.

To Remus, he’s the happiest man alive.

Then, there’s his mum.

Hope Lupin is a lovely woman —that’s an undeniable truth, and as her child, Remus has never said the contrary. But if there’s anything Remus has learned from years of being in close proximity to the force that is his mother, ‘lovely’ wouldn't be the first adjective to come to his mind.

For one, she’s strong-headed, like him. She only eats the vegetables that she harvests in their backyard because she thinks the ones at the store taste funny and no tomato should ever be that shiny. She’s kind and caring, that’s not a lie, but always with that… Roughness, so particular of her.

Hope has this awfully accurate sense of righteousness, a crystal clear criticism about everything that surrounds her, granted by how observant she is—the reason her judgments about people are scarily accurate most of the time. Cutting to the chase, never afraid to tell hard truths but always with that kindness of her that never leave room to doubt just how much she cares.

Remus is so very proud to call her his mother.

Then, there’s his mother’s cousin.

There’s something… Solid, about Minnie. She is severe and strict about how the world works, but Remus doesn’t let that fool him. Most people don’t know she has a mischievous side, which came in handy when Remus was a teenager. She’s also a great listener, willing to hear your thoughts on everything for hours, even your secrets. Remus has a theory that her tight bun is full of them.

She used to be a troublesome child too —or that’s what his mother told him once. His aunt used to have problems with authority when she was younger, and more often than not it fell upon Hope to bail her out of prison. Funny how the world works, now that Minnie is part of the town council and all.

When he was a kid, his mother used to tell Remus stories about the things Minnie did when she was young. All the places she went, and all the adventures she had, all the friends he made in all the places he visited, but since she moved in with them a few years ago after her partner died, nothing has ever been the same. The loss, however great, never made her lose perception. If anything, it made her more resilient in the face of change.

And of course, there is Pandora.

His sister.

When the Lupins arrived in town all those years ago, the Lovegoods— a lovely couple with a little girl a year younger than Remus— were the first ones to welcome them, taking it upon themselves to make them feel accepted in town. Helping them settle, introducing them to the neighbours, including them in the town activities. According to Remus’ mother, they were one of the kindest people she ever met.

That’s why when Pandora’s parents fell ill, it was devastating for all of them.

Hope and Lyall helped whenever and however they could, and they weren’t the only ones, the whole town organized together to help the family however they could. However, help can only get you so far before something has to give, and around the time Remus was six, the Lovegoods passed away.

Pandora didn’t have any relatives that could take care of her and the Lupins answered the call before the question was even raised. They took her in right away, making her one of their own through and through. Remus knew, as soon as he laid eyes on her, that he had found a kin spirit.

In a household of sensible reasons and terrible dances, there was this… nature being. Shining the brightest, with her blond hair that was almost white, with blue and purple highlights, her golden butterfly pins perched in her hair and her eternal bare feet.

Pandora is an artist.

She takes after Remus’ father, who taught her almost everything she knows about art. More often than not, her fingers are cover in paint or clay, bowls and figurines scattered around the house from time to time. Not only that, but she's also a musical genius, able to play any kind of instrument you put in her sight —the reason they kept that old piano in the living room, gifted by the local church.

Going from one thing to another, she has done more things than Remus could ever imagine doing himself. She really is a sight to behold.

But above all of her artistic abilities, Pandora’s true call is singing.

When they were teenagers, one of the traditions was that after they came home from the beach, she would show them the latest thing she was working on. Could be a painting, or a song or, in some cases, a performance —the latter usually Pandora’s version of a dance, which consisted in moving her arms wildly above her head (she said it was the impersonation of a leaf in the air (Remus wasn’t so sure)).

Even after so many years, the tradition hasn’t changed.

Pandora was then —and still is to Remus— the most wonderful thing in the world.

But if Remus has to talk about family, he also has to address the unexpected one he made along the way. A family he never asked for but is grateful and fortunate to count as such, nonetheless.

You see, when Remus was a child, he was a bit lonely. Shocker, he knows.

The lone wolf, his father joked once. But to be quite honest, that wasn't that far from the truth.

Growing up surrounded mostly by adults, it was difficult to be any different.

For him, connecting with kids his age was not an easy task —not that the kids weren’t nice or anything, but Remus wasn’t keen to interact with kids he didn’t have prior knowledge of and therefore, didn’t know how to talk to. The only other kid he knew was Pandora and she lived with him so it wasn’t the same.

His little kid brain just couldn’t comprehend why he would want anyone else.

And it's safe to say that as soon as he learned how to read, it was over for anyone who wanted to be his friend. No one could ever compare to fictional characters —it was a universal truth. But his decision didn’t come without loneliness, and for a long time, he didn’t have any friends outside his sister.

Remus learned from a very young age that it was better not to dwell too much on it. It was just how things were.

Because, well, there was also him; too tall, too scrawny, too quiet. His pockets full of tissues because of his allergies, especially when the seasons change. Keeping the kids of his age at arms-length with his too-big jumpers, his fascination with outer space and the books he built around him like a fortress that kept everyone out.

Remus spent more time looking up at the sky or looking down at his books than he spent looking at what was in front of him and if you were meant to hold a conversation with someone —either to make friends or just to play hide-and-seek— you were supposed to look at their faces for longer than two seconds.

Remus never looked at anyone outside of his family any more than was necessary.

Until James Potter came along.

Back then, James was just a small bony boy with glasses bigger than his face and wild raven hair sticking out in all different directions. He was the new kid in town, his family just moved from Mexico and even though he didn’t seem shy or introverted like Remus expected him to be, he did seem a little insecure about his accent, especially because there were some kids from his year making fun of him for it.

Remus couldn't understand. The kid was basically learning to speak a second language as he went, who cares about his accent? Apparently, a kid named Vernon did because he gave James shit the most for it.

So there's a funny fact about Remus: he never got into a fight before. He used to turn the other way when kids in his school squabble, never invested enough in whatever petty fight his peers were into those days. And for that, teachers used to make silly assumptions about Remus, thinking he was just a shy and harmless kid—when in reality, Remus just never cared enough to get into them.

That wasn’t the case anymore.

Turns out, he only needed a good reason.

So when they were at recess and Vernon mocked James for the third time in the day, Remus closed the book he was reading on his lap, stood up and in one swift motion, threw the book at Vernon’s head.

James —who was in front of Vernon looking really close to punching him in the face— moved away as soon as he saw the book flying through the air. But Remus had good aim because it ended up hitting the kid’s head with a loud thud. Vernon turned around, immediately looking for the perpetrator, only for Remus’ fist to welcome him.

He got detention, as expected. What he didn’t expect was for James to take the blame alongside him, and even after that, he didn’t expect him to try to be his friend. Not when Remus tried to outright ignore him after the incident. But if there was something Remus learned about James, it was that he was an annoying relentless little shit.

He talked and grinned and joked, and made himself so indispensable in Remus’ routine that Remus either kept fighting against their obvious friendship or caved in. And it was at the tender age of 11 that one James Fleamont Potter carved his way into Remus' inner world and never left.

And if you had James Potter, you also had to welcome Euphemia and Fleamont Potter. It was impossible to do anything else.

Hope wasn’t so sure about Effie at first.

Not that she didn’t like her or anything— they were just different.

Where Hope only had toast and earl grey for breakfast, Effie made at least three dishes for every meal; where Hope thought the peak of fashion and utility were transparent raincoats, Effie matched colours with everything she wore; where Hope only went to the doctor when it was strictly necessary, Effie had hundreds of remedies for everything you could think of.

They were two sides of the same coin, and Hope just took a bit to realise that. Euphemia Potter, on the other hand, was nothing if not persistent.

Effie was all soft edges and an easy-going personality, but just like her son, she was stubborn, relentless, and loved so freely and openly that it was impossible not to grant her the same love she gifted you. By the time that first summer came around, Hope and Effie were so close, it was difficult to picture a time when they weren’t.

Two of the strongest, kindest, bravest women Remus had ever known. Objectively good traits in a person, or so they said every time he told them as much. Together, they were a force to be reckoned with.

Funnily enough, the opposite thing happened with Lyall and Monty.

Effie and Hope always joked they were third-wheeling in their relationship because, since the first time they met each other, those two were love at first sight.

Remus doesn’t remember too much about it because he was a kid when all of that happened, but even a decade later it’s clear as day that they truly care for each other.

Both of them are retired teachers now, both love making apple pies, and their icon is Bill Nighy. They can spend hours and hours talking about books and plants, about their favourite records, and dying of laughter at their dad jokes. They have a very particular sense of humour only the other one seems to understand.

And this crazy mix of beloved personalities in Remus’ life was where he began to understand what the saying meant. And this ‘village’ wasn’t prepared to contend with the force that was the Lovegood-Lupin-Potter kids.

They were the tidal wave, the reason all the chickens were covered in green paint for weeks or why the grand clock in the school made rooster noises every time it struck six o clock —too many bird-related pranks, Remus now realised.

They were always making mischief, always getting into trouble. James and Pandora were usually the ones who took the blame because —unbeknownst to the adults— Remus was the mastermind behind it all.

And since his family of three became a family of eight, Remus had never been happier.

All in all, it was a pretty great way to grow up.

Full of chaotic symphonies and earl grey teas, of laughs and bickering, of love and warmth. By the time Remus was 21, they were still having tea on the beach every Sunday. The Potters lived nearby so they were always with them at the shoreside, skipping stones like it was a race (Monty was the unbeatable winner) complaining about the wind (mostly Minnie) and eating egg and ham sandwiches (Remus preferred plain cheese).

And every Saturday evening, a film, after Pandora’s art presentation. Summer, Winter, no matter what the weather was, no matter if they were away at university, they were always there for that, every one of them.

And then, once a year, the dreaded New Year’s Eve party.

Remus always hated it. Too many people, too little space for breathing.

If it was up to him, he would be done by nine, but because he was outnumbered every time he suggested otherwise (Pandora boo him every time he brought it up), he accepted his fate long ago. It’s the only ’big event’ in the whole year for them so he’s already resigned to a loud evening and too many wasted people trying to make conversation with him.

James is thriving, of course.

“Oh great, you’re ready! You were taking so long I began to wonder if you weren’t hiding again,” James jokes as Remus walks the corridor towards the stairs.

“I wasn’t,” Remus lies.

James gives him a knowing look ready to call his bluff, but then he just shakes his head. “Doesn’t matter now, Dora is about to perform, come on.”

Before Remus gets a chance to respond, James grabs him by the arm and drags him downstairs.

Some people call his name while he navigates through the sea of people inside the house but he can’t respond (not that he wants to, mind), because even if James grins and greets here and there he doesn’t stop, moving like a man on a mission. Abba’s voices fading away as soon as they reach the backyard where, go figure, even more people are gathered around.

They make their way to the sidelines, not too far from where the band equipment is set up. The members looking ready to play. Remus doesn’t know them, not that it matters really, all he cares to know is that Pandora is their lead singer and she’s all but ready to perform.

She’s set on the mic, her purple glittery eyeshadow sparkling under the lights, and she’s matching James’ crazed grin. She’s tipsy too, Remus can tell. He heaves a sigh because those two are lightweights and will be wasted soon enough.

“Thank you for coming tonight! We are The Nargles, Happy New Year!” Pandora shouts into the mic as the first notes of the rock version of Mr. Brightside plays in the speakers.

As much as Remus despises the annual event, Pandora singing in a band on New Year’s Eve makes Remus’ chest warm.

He tries not to think of how uncomfortable he is near all those people, too many of them already. The music is a little bit too loud, but that’s due to them being near the sound equipment, so he doesn’t feel like he can complain about it. Despite being too aware of his surroundings, Remus tries his best to enjoy the song. He’s shaking his head up and down while James is jumping wildly beside him.

It's a good cover, but Remus has always been biased when it comes to his sister.

Dora is singing and dancing at the same time without missing a beat or running out of air, she’s adding a raspy tone to the song which is nothing less than impressive with all the movement. The crowd is as pumped up as James and Remus are.

Maybe the party isn’t so bad after all if he can watch his favourite people have a good time.

But it’s in the last few verses of the song when a guy comes near him, trips over his feet and throws all his beer onto Remus’ blue jumper before he can move away. The guy, too drunk to notice, doesn’t pay Remus any mind and just walks away like he didn’t just ruin somebody’s night. Nobody else seems to notice the incident either, too busy cheering the band when the song ends.

Remus changes his mind, this party sucks arse.

James and Remus make their way to Pandora’s side to congratulate her when the crowd disperses. James picks her up and twirls her.

“I think this was your best one yet,” James puts her down while Pandora laughs at him. “Mi pequeña Pandereta, I’m so proud of you!”

Being in constant proximity to the Potters, it was inevitable that Remus learned some Spanish. Maybe not enough to speak it but enough to understand it. But even with that knowledge, it took some time for Remus to decipher the secret language of James Potter.

Particularly about how James came up with those nicknames, and boy does he have his fair share of nicknames for everyone. Most are quite ridiculous but he likes to do it, he says it’s a sign of affection.

He has tons for Pandora for different occasions, he’s the same with Remus. This one is for when Pandora is being a music genius, it means tambourine in Spanish. He just called her his little tambourine. No, Remus doesn’t get it either but Pandora doesn’t seem to mind.

“Thank you, Jaime.” Jaime, which is James in Spanish (or so he believes). And see, Pandora doesn’t really do nicknames, she just likes to be a little shit sometimes.

“You were amazing Pan, I loved it.” Remus compliments, hugging her.

When they separate, she scrunches her face at him.

“Why are you wet?” She sniffs at his clothes. “You reek, Remus. I thought you weren’t drinking tonight?”

Remus huffs. “I’m not, some guy threw his drink at me just before the song ended.” He proceeds to squeeze the bottom of his jumper; a few drops come out of it.

“At least it isn’t the fancy jumper,” James offers, watching the drops fall.

Remus frowns. “It is the fancy jumper James, you’re just too drunk to see it.”

“Really? The navy one?” James squints suspiciously at the fabric. “It looks black to me.”

“That’s because it is drenching in beer. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to change.” Remus tries to walk away, but James just grabs him by the wrist to stop him.

“No can do, lobito!”

Remus glares at him. “If you call me that again I swear—”

“It’s almost midnight, coming?” James asks Pandora instead, ignoring Remus's attempts to break free.

Before she can answer, one of her bandmates shouts her name. They’re a little further away, talking to some guy in a velvet green jacket.

“Oh, yeah, that guy saw us perform and wants to talk with us. What do you think he wants?” she whispers conspiratorially, looking hopeful at where the band is gathered around.

“After that performance? A record deal for sure,” James snorts like it offends him to think otherwise, then he gasps all of a sudden, like he just realised something. “What if he wants to be your manager?”

“Can you imagine?” Pandora breathes out, eyes glazed over.

“Better go and find out,” Remus nudges her towards the band. “Go on, we’ll see you later.”

Pandora beams and leans to kiss their cheeks. “I’ll see you guys later.” She nudges them towards the house and gives Remus a knowing look. Remus doesn’t know what to make of it but he goes.

“What’s with the grabbing, James? You can just ask me to follow you, you know, I’m not going to disappear in the ether,” he lies, again, hoping James would believe him this time— He doesn't. Instead, James drags him towards the living room where most of the people are gathered, waiting for the countdown.

“Asking you doesn’t guarantee you’re going to do as I say.”

Remus shrugs innocently. “Let me go and you’ll find out.”

“Not risking your surprise,” James says but lets his wrist go. “You’re never going to guess who I brought here just for you.” He has the particular glint in his eye that Remus has learned to recognise when he’s about to do something he shouldn’t.

“Who?”

James doesn’t answer, instead, he points at a man in the corner of the room —a bit unnecessary as his red hair is pretty difficult to miss, even in a room full of people. He looks like he’s waiting for something, or rather someone.

Remus has to give props to James to be able to pull this one off. As the out-of-town big brothers of Molly Weasley, the Prewetts are the talk of the town every time they come to visit for the holidays.

The Prewett family used to live in town but they moved to the big city when Molly was a teenager. Wasn’t until Molly’s parents passed away that she returned with baby Bill attached to her hip and Arthur Weasley by her side. Turns out her parents left her a bakery that has been abandoned since they were gone, and Molly was all but ready to start working on it. Spreading roots in the town that she once called home.

Remus remembers this because The Burrow, the warm and cosy bakery that Remus likes best when he wants to get lost for a moment, is kinda falling apart.

Doesn’t matter anyway, the Weasleys are a resilient bunch and it always warms Remus’ heart seeing Bill colouring with crayons on the counter while Arthur carries one-year-old Charlie around holding a stuffed dragon while he takes orders. They are really nice people, Molly slips him an extra chocolate cookie every time without fail because she knows he loves chocolate.

So yeah, Gideon and Fabian visit the Weasleys over the holidays every year without fail, bringing lots of presents with them. Molly has been hinting to Remus for ages to get to know her brother Fabian, how they would make a lovely couple. He’s a good bloke, Remus, just one date and I promise you won’t regret it and, well, Remus kinda wants to too. For one, he has eyes.

However he and Fabian haven’t gotten to know each other very much because Remus is not the best at keeping track of people, not even the ones he finds attractive. Don’t get him wrong, the man is alright, but Remus is not very aware of people in general.

Besides, Fabian is really hard to catch —like a fish fresh out of the water, and Remus is in no position to seek him out himself. It’s nothing about Fabian himself that makes him nervous, it’s because he’s right there, in the middle of a place Remus never thought him to be, so it takes him by surprise. He’s not prepared for this at all.

Any other time, Remus would be down to kiss Fabian. But right now he’s drenched in cheap beer, he’s annoyed and a little self-conscious.

So, without much thought, he takes a step back.

At that exact moment, someone passes by with a tray full of snacks and —are those apples?

The tray goes down along with the girl, Anne, the daughter of the owner of the flower shop. James is already offering a hand to pick her up and Remus is a stuttering mess, apologising profusely.

“I’m so sorry,” he says over and over again, trying to help but the apples roll in between people’s legs making them hard to pick up. Effie, the amazing woman that she is, appears swiftly at his side. She squeezes Remus’ shoulder and gives him an assuring smile before she turns to the girl.

“Don’t worry darling, it’s alright,” she says, leading her away. “Let’s go for another tray.”

Remus tries to follow them, but James just turns him back again, holding his shoulders.

“Má got it, Remus, everything’s okay. Now go, it’s almost time!” James ushers him away towards the red-headed man.

When Remus reaches Fabian, the latter gives him a warm smile.

Before he has a chance to speak, the countdown begins.

Remus tries very hard not to think about how his sweater is sticking to his body or how close he is to just fleeing the place entirely, especially when Fabian is looking at him like he’s not sure what he is doing there. In the end, everything narrows down to the voices of the people around him, chanting the words of the imminent passing of time.

“...5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!”

Fuck it he thinks, and without losing momentum, Remus pulls Fabian by the shirt and kisses him square in the mouth. Fabian makes a sound of surprise but doesn’t pull back. It’s weird and hasty, with too many teeth but not the worst kiss.

When they break apart, Remus is a bit flustered by the whole ordeal and Fabian is still looking surprised, if a bit dazed. He seems to be searching for something in Remus’ face and when he finds it, his gaze softens.

“Wrong brother, Remus,” Fabian —no, Gideon says, apologetically.

Remus’ eyes go wide, and then he notices that Fabian’s scar is no longer there on his chin. He wants to bang his head against the wall, how can he be so stupid? Is this one of those moments Remus would laugh about later in life, right? But at the moment, it’s one of the most mortifying moments of his life.

The bright side is, the real Fabian hasn't seen him, so he can make a graceful exit without addressing any of this and just forget it ever happened.

Or rather that is what he was planning to do before the real Fabian shows up behind him.

“My dearest Lupin, and here I was thinking I was the better looking brother,” he says in a teasing tone, passing one of the bottles he’s holding to his brother. “You wound me, Lupin. I thought we had something special.”

Remus can’t even look at him, his face feels on fire. He blurts a half-hearted apology to Gideon and without looking Fabian in the eye, he fucking bolts. On his way out, he grabs a half-full bottle of whiskey, hoping to get plastered soon so he can forget all about the embarrassment the new year brought upon him.

How he hates New Year’s Eve parties.

* * *

Remus wakes to the weight of someone on top of him.

The smell of forest and jasmine reaches him before he can make out the words of his best friend.

Damn whoever made James Potter a hangover-free morning person.

“Good morning sunshine, your father is waiting for you in his studio,” James mutters. And then, because he’s an absolute dick, proceeds to lick his ear.

“Motherfucker—” Remus hisses, outraged, trying to elbow him in the stomach. But since he’s still half asleep and hungover, his reflexes aren’t top-notch. It's only a coincidence that his reflexes are not top-notch when he's wide awake and sober, but that's besides the point.

By the time Remus wants to seek revenge, James is already off him, heading to the door. Remus throws whatever he can reach (an empty plastic water bottle) at him, but James is already leaving his room, cackling. The bastard.

After he spends a few minutes to himself trying and failing to mitigate the pain of his throbbing head —and regretting his idiotic choices in peace— Remus drapes his robe around his body, slide in his favourite pair of slippers and drags himself off the bed heading downstairs to his father’s study.

The living room is a mess. He can make out Pandora’s figure curled up on a sofa, a blanket on top of her sleepy figure. Remus will make her hangover breakfast later if James hasn't already made it for them. He can hear some clattering in the kitchen.

The floor is sticky under his slippers, he kicks one or two beer cups on his way to his father’s study. When he gets there, Lyall has his back to him, looking through the glass door that faces the backyard.

Without finesse, Remus flops onto the small couch Lyall has in there, his legs dangling out.

“Had fun last night?” Lyall asks, still looking outside.

Remus snorts, reluctantly. “You could say that.”

Remus figures he must look like shit because when his father turns around, he chuckles, but to Remus’ surprise he doesn't comment any further. Which is unusual, his father never misses an opportunity to make fun of him when he’s hungover.

“Is everything okay? You’re awfully quiet.”

“Yeah well, this is an odd moment for me, Remus,” his father begins to pace. “You see, I had the same conversation I’m about to have with you with my father, when I was in my early twenties; so you’ll have to forgive me if I’m not sure where to start.”

Remus yawns, stretching a little. “The beginning is usually a good place.”

His father gives him an amused look, as if he just said something funny.

“The beginning is actually the tricky part. You see, I don’t actually know where it began, or rather, when. As far as I’m aware, it has been in our family for generations. An heirloom, of sorts.” He stops his pacing to sit in the armchair in front of Remus. He leans forward, elbows on his knees. “It’s more about the implications that come with this knowledge, Remus. Knowledge that has made a great impact on the way I live my life and will surely do the same for yours.”

The fogginess around his head begins to dissipate; Remus still can’t make sense of the words that come out of his father’s mouth but he gets that whatever his father is talking about, must be big enough that the calmest person he knows, is nervous.

“You’re not making this any easier to understand by being so cryptic dad, get to the point,” Remus presses.

“Here,” Lyall unbuttons the top button of his green shirt and unhooks the necklace he has under his clothes, throwing it over to Remus. He catches it swiftly.

It’s a necklace, golden, with an hourglass in the middle. It feels warm in his hand.

The thing is, Remus knows it.

He has seen it a couple of times throughout his life around his father’s neck, but he never thought too much of it. Why would he? With his father’s collection, Remus figured it was just another one of his trinkets.

But as beautiful as the artefact is, he doesn’t understand what the weird clock has to do with anything.

Remus frowns at his father, a question clear on his features.

With all the seriousness Remus has never seen in him, Lyall Lupin says something that will irremediably alter Remus’ life, even if he is not aware of it at the moment.

“You can travel through time.”

He blinks at his father. Once, twice.

And then, he loses it.

Remus doesn’t mean to laugh at him, truly, he doesn’t. But come on— it’s utterly ridiculous. His stomach aches a little at the effort. What’s the protocol when your father gives you a family heirloom wrapped in a tiny ribbon of pure nonsense?

“Did James put you up to this? Because it’s a little far-fetched, even for him,” Remus asks when his laughter dies down. To his credit, his dad doesn’t seem offended; if anything, he looks entertained.

“Why would I lie to a person, let’s say, I mildly tolerate?” Lyall teases, lips twitching. “But no, I’m not joking.”

Remus searches his face for the signs that usually give away he’s lying. The little tinkle of his nose or the way his lips twitch because he’s trying to hold back a laugh. But when none of those signs appear and his father’s face remains as calm as ever, Remus just presses the hills of his palms over his eyes until he sees white dots.

You know what? Fine. Time travel exists. Right, great! Why the fuck not? Remus is not even gonna try to make sense of it. Not this early in the morning when he hasn’t even had breakfast yet and he's clearly hungover.

Remus bites back a groan as he swings his legs off the arm of the couch to sit properly. With his elbows on his knees, he decides to humour his dad a little longer. “Let’s say I believe that what you’re saying is true, which it isn’t—”

“Which it is,” Lyall sing-songs.

“Which it isn’t,” Remus grits out. “How does time travel work in this situation? There are tons of variables to consider.”

“The how, my son, is actually the easy bit,” Lyall nods at the necklace Remus is still holding between his fingers. “First you find a dark place —a closet or a cupboard will do— and turn it over, just once. Then, you think of the moment you want to travel to. You close your eyes really tight and—Bam! time travel,” Lyall finishes, doing a subdued version of jazz hands.

Remus gives his father a doubtful look. “That’s it?”

Lyall crosses his legs in a light manner, shrugging. “Apart from looking like an idiot with a weird clock in some dark closet, yes Remus, that’s pretty much it.”

“Dad,” Remus groans, resting his head on his hand. “It's too early and I’m too hungover to be having this conversation right now.”

“Aren’t you curious?” his father persists. “Don’t you have something you wish you had done differently? I bet you could do better with a hangover-free morning.”

At Remus’ unimpressed look, his dad stands up. With his hands on the pockets of his trousers, Lyall stops in front of the window.

“Or you could do it just to, you know, prove me wrong.”

Well, he has him there. Unfortunately, Lyall is well aware that Remus likes being right, even if he never says it. With a groan, Remus stands up.

“When I come back, it better be a full English waiting for me as an apology for enduring this charade so early in the morning,” Remus threatens. His father looks at him, amused.

“We’ll see soon enough, son.”

And there Remus goes. Still wrapped in his robe, the smell of alcohol lingering around his body. With a headache getting bigger and bigger, Remus climbs into his wardrobe and closes the doors. Still feeling like an idiot but ready to prove his dad wrong, he holds the hourglass necklace, spins it once and closes his eyes.

Remus tries to remember the events of the previous night. The kiss, the girl with the snack tray, the idiot that threw beer at him, everything. At first, he doesn’t feel anything out of the ordinary. But it is between one intake of breath and the next one, that Remus knows something has changed. He can feel it.

It’s like someone turned on a switch inside him.

The tingle starts at the tip of his fingers —where he’s still holding the necklace— and spreads through his whole body; the air feels charged around him, like before a storm. He feels as if he was static, looking for the right frequency. Remus doesn’t know what’s going on so he tries very hard not to freak out. He can already feel the fear at the bottom of his stomach.

Eyes still closed, the air shifts around him and in the next beat of his heart, he’s no longer there.

Well, no, —he is there, still standing in the darkness, but he’s no longer where he was when he entered the closet. No, not where, when.

Too afraid to open his eyes, Remus takes a deep breath and waits.

The sounds come first.

The unmistakable sound of Abba's voices chanting downstairs about giving them a man after midnight rings in Remus’ ears. The sound of people laughing and chatting breaks through as well, the excitement of a new year just a few minutes away. Further away, the faint sound of a band getting ready to perform.

Then comes the sensations of his own body.

Remus no longer feels like his head is about to explode. He can make out the smell of the detergent from his beer-less jumper and his body lotion. He feels okay, no longer groggy with sleep.

Remus opens his eyes and then pushes the door open, taking a step outside.

Everything looks the same and yet it isn’t. For once, he’s standing in a room that doesn’t feel like his and yet it is everything is like it’s supposed to be —but then why does it feel so wrong? He wants to scream and laugh hysterically at the nonsense of it all. Clenching the hourglass necklace tightly like he will fall apart if he lets go, he wonders if this is actually a nightmare.

After all, he’s about to relive the most mortifying party he ever had.

“Well, fuck me,” he breaths out —and, well, that pretty much sums it all up, doesn’t it?

Chapter Text

Remus is freaking the fuck out.  

He knows the world doesn’t make sense most of the time and doesn’t have to, but good grief, why him? Why now? Just— why?

Of all of the things he can be stuck with, it has to be the one that is the most vexing. 

Time travel. For fuck’s sake, is he hallucinating or something? 

There’s a big chance this is no more than a fever dream, that none of this is real and he’s not here and his world isn’t crumbling under his feet.

He’s pacing like a madman in his bedroom, the muffled sounds of a party that he has already been to the day before ragging loudly downstairs.

After a few more seconds of hysteria, Remus reaches an inevitable conclusion: He's an idiot.

He was too busy trying to prove his father wrong he never entertained the possibility of what he would do if his father turned out to be right. 

Because the question remains… What now?

His father had implied he could change something he didn’t like the first time around but, can he really, without any consequences? What about the butterfly effect? The theory of relativity? It’s presumptuous and borderline stupid to assume Remus can do whatever he pleases and won’t impact his future in any way. Or is it his past? 

Remus stops his pacing, rubbing his temples. He can feel the headache forming at the back of his head. 

This won’t do. Remus visibly shakes his head. 

He refuses to go out and do anything. No one can make him. He’s going to sit there and let the New Year pass him by, or even better, he’s going to go back to his time and never touch that stupid necklace ever again, family legacy be damned. 

His resolution crumbles as the sound of footsteps gets closer to the door.

Remus only has time to hide the necklace inside his sweater before the door of his bedroom opens a few inches and a head that belongs to none other than James Potter pokes inside, a grin plastered on his face. 

“I knew you were hiding again! and after I specifically told you to give me until midnight before running away,” James tuts in mock disapproval before entering the room completely. He takes three long steps towards him. “Pandora is about to perform, come on,” and just like the first time, James grabs Remus by the arm and drags him downstairs through the sea of people inside the house and to the backyard.

Remus is trying his hardest not to stare at everything, trying to see if there’s something different. Good lord, this is the weirdest case of deja-vú he has ever experienced. Everything is the same as far as he can see —the distribution of the instruments, the way the people get closer to the band that seems as eager as the first time Remus saw them, ready to play, the excitement emanating from all of them. 

When they make their way to the sidelines, his eyes inevitably fall on Pandora.

No matter how much of a mess his mind is right now, his shoulders instinctively relaxed at the sight of her, getting ready in front of the mic. Looking at her always had that effect on Remus, providing him comfort even when she’s not aware of it.

Remus takes a deep breath in and holds it. 

He’s okay. Pandora is there, James too. Remus can do this. He can do this. He can relive the party again and —you know what? He’s even going to have fun. On purpose. This is basically a do-over so he's allowed. He just doesn’t have to think about it too much, how difficult can it be? He can do it. It’s alright. Everything’s going to be just fine.

Remus breathes out.

“Thank you for coming tonight! We are The Nargles and Happy New Year!” Pandora screams into the mic and their rendition of Mr. Brightside starts to play. James starts jumping at his side and Remus, well, he is trying his best to go along with it. 

Pandora sings and dances like a professional, the crowd looks pleased and excited and everything’s going well. The first time around, Remus had a hard time trying to enjoy the performance, too busy worrying over the people around him and the loud music. 

This time he’s also worrying but for entirely different reasons. At least now he’s far away from the speakers and due to time travel, he knows how everything will unfold. 

And to his credit, Remus tries. He really does.

It’s subtle, at first. Moving his head up and down with the notes of the guitar, his feet tap at the beat of the song. His shoulders loosen inch by inch and his arms seem to have a mind of their own. Remus' arms go around him in all directions like he doesn't know what they're doing, but they're doing something. And before he knows it, he’s dancing  —or something close to it.

His mind doesn’t have time to catch up when his body suddenly feels the need to move around, like James’. Uncoordinated and offbeat, sure, but the knot he didn't know he was carrying this whole time, eases. If James is surprised by this change of pace from him, he doesn’t let it show, instead, he passes an arm around Remus’s shoulders as they jump and sing in unison.

As the song is coming to an end, Remus already has an eye on the man who spilt the drink on him the first time. He catches him a few steps away, unaware he’s being dragged to the front by the wave of people right next to Remus.

Remus is all but ready to move away to avoid being a target again but a thought struck him. 

Won’t he be breaking some kind of time-space law? Should he step aside or let the stranger spill his drink over him again? Remus’s mind is going miles per hour coming up with all the possible scenarios. All the repercussions his actions could have while trying to look like he’s not losing his mind in the middle of a new year’s eve party.

His father didn’t prepare him for any of this. He basically pushed the ‘disrupter of time’ (yes, Remus named it, sue him) on his hands and said “go have fun, my boy!” —but as baffling as that is, Remus is having fun. He’s also having an existential crisis in the middle of a performance, mind, but maybe that comes with breaking universal laws. 

When the stranger gets closer to him, Remus decides at the last second that he doesn’t want to stench in beer for the rest of the night so he side-steps him. Unfortunately, James’ arm is still over his shoulder, so when he moves he positions James in the place he was before. The beer ends up all over James’ ugly reindeer Christmas sweater.

 James hisses, before looking at the man in question who’s not paying them any mind, who’s not even there anymore. Already walking away from them, unbothered.

James groans, cheap beer dripping off the bottom of his Christmas sweater.

 “Cheers pendejo, Happy New Year to you too!” 

The man, who’s halfway across the yard, just flips them off over his shoulder before disappearing on the street. 

James huffs. “Fucking rude.”

Nobody else notices besides them, everyone’s too busy cheering and clapping as the song comes to an end. 

Remus pats him lightly on the shoulder, “sorry James, you know how people are.” And he does know, he was the one with the drenched jumper the first time around. “Come on, let’s go see Pandora.”

When they reach the front, just like the first time, James picks Pandora up and twirls her around while she laughs in delight. 

“I think this was your best one yet,” James puts her down while Pandora laughs at him. “Mi pequeña Pandereta, I’m so proud of you!”

“Thank you, Jaime.” She says, looking pleased.

“You were amazing, Dora,” Remus says, playing his part.

“Thanks, Remus,” she says and proceeds to eye James suspiciously. “Drunk already?”

James sniffs, indignantly. “Not drunk enough to spill the drink on me, thank you very much. An idiot threw his drink on my sweater, but no worries, that can easily be solved.” Then he proceeds to take his ugly Christmas sweater off to show an even uglier Christmas t-shirt underneath.

“You gotta be kidding me,” Remus says in disbelief, covering his face with a hand, reluctantly peeking between his fingers.

It’s a white shirt that displays a stag, a black dog, a grey wolf and a rat on a red convertible, all wearing sunglasses and party hats with a Christmas tree tight up on the back giving the impression that it’s stolen. The legend ‘up to no good’ in capital letters below. 

Trust James to wear two ugly pieces of clothing at the same time.

“I found it online,” James announces, quite proud of himself. “Can you believe it was 90% off?”

Yes, Remus can.

“I want one,” Pandora informs him resolutely, ignoring Remus’ disapproving look.

“You got it,” James nods, all business.  

They shake it on it, looking at each other but also glancing at Remus. He rolls his eyes at them. 

Pandora and James just have to share a look with each other before dissolving into giggles. Oh yeah, they are both more than tipsy, Remus almost forgot about that.

“It’s almost midnight, coming?” James motions to the house where some people are already going inside.

“Pandora!” One of her band mates shouts from behind. They’re a little farther away, talking to some guy in a velvet green jacket. 

Pandora waves her hand at them before turning to James and Remus. “Oh, yeah, there’s a guy who saw us perform and wants to talk with us,” in a lower tone she adds, “what do you think he wants?” 

“After that performance? a record deal for sure,” James snorts like it offends him to think otherwise, then he gasps all of the sudden, like he just realized something, “what if he wants to be your manager?”

“Can you imagine?” Pandora breaths out, eyes blazed. 

Remus has never been one who notices things. 

That’s something he has had since he was a kid, he has improved since then but still is not his strongest suit. But right now, it is almost impossible to miss the way Pandora’s face lights up and he notices what he didn’t the first time around. 

That little glint in her eyes when she talks about the possibility of a record deal is unmistakable; how she’s fidgeting with her rings; how excited and scared she is about what awaits her and Remus can see all of it with sharp clarity. How much she wants it to be true. Remus hopes it is too. Who knows? Maybe it is.

Life is funny that way.

Remus feels good that he can be part of it. 

“Off you go, then,” Remus nudges her towards the band. “We’ll catch up with you later.” 

Pandora beams and leans to kiss their cheeks. “I’ll see you guys later.” She nudges them towards the house and gives Remus a knowing look. This time around, Remus knows what that look is about. Of course she was part of it, meddling little thing. 

“Wait, hold on. Is there anything you want to tell me before we go, Dora?” Remus arches a brow at her. 

“You won’t find out if you don’t go now,” she urges, ushering them away. 

Remus doesn’t say anything else, letting himself be dragged away. They stop once they get to the living room, it seems most of the people are gathered there waiting for the countdown as well.

“I bet you don’t know who’s here tonight to see you” James sing-songs, wiggling his eyebrows playfully at him.

Dammit, James. 

“Who?” 

James doesn’t answer but points at a man in the corner of the room —unnecessarily, the red hair is hard to miss, even in a room full of people. He still looks like he’s waiting for something, but now Remus knows it is not for him.

Now that Remus knows how is going to go, he doesn’t take a step back. Anne goes right behind him with the tray full of sweets and apples —Remus still doesn’t know why apples— unscathed. She reaches the table safely and now James is ushering him away towards the red-headed man. 

Remus takes a few steps to reach Gideon, the latter gives him a warm smile.

As the countdown begins, Remus sees with clarity that Gideon looks nothing like his brother and he chastises his past self for being so unaware of it that he kissed the wrong brother the first time around. 

At least now he’s not soaking in cheap beer and he understands the look of wariness in Gideon’s eyes but Remus is surprised to find a glint of curiosity peeking out too. He still doesn’t want to disrupt any time-space rule by not kissing Gideon, so he resorts to the only thing he can think of in the end. 

He shifts closer to Gideon, leaning forward very slowly, giving him time to move away if he decides to do so. Gideon’s eyes widen but he doesn’t move. Everything narrows down to the voices of the people around him, counting the seconds to bring a new year full of possibilities onto them.

“...5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!” 

Remus pulls one hand on Gideon’s cheek and kisses him. It lasts for two seconds and when they break apart, Remus is glad to find out that Gideon is okay with it too. 

“Happy New Year, Gideon.” 

Gideon’s demeanour changes in surprise but is quickly replaced with a lopsided mischievous smile. “Happy New Year to you too, Lupin. What would Fabian say?”

Remus knows Gideon kissed him back for the sake of tradition but he also did it to see the look on his brother’s face. It’s common knowledge Fabian is full of himself with all the attention he receives though it's not misplaced. But humble him every now and then is not a bad thing and Remus is just glad that he can be part of the lesson. 

They share a smile of acknowledgement until someone taps Remus’ shoulder. When he turns around, Fabian is looking at him with an arched brow.

“Wrong brother my dearest Lupin,” he says with a teasing tone. “And here I was, thinking I was the chosen one,” a hand on his chest. “You wound me.”

Remus doesn’t know where the boldness comes from. Maybe it’s the necklace or the familiarity of the situation but he feels almost cheeky when he shrugs unapologetic and says, “wasn’t a mistake, Prewett,” Remus bit back a smile when Fabian spluttered in offence. His brother snickers behind him. “Happy New Year, Fabian.” 

Fabian looks baffled and Remus can’t hold back the grin on his face. When he turns around and leaves, the distinctive sound of Gideon Prewett's laugh follows him all the way to his room.

Maybe New Year’s Eve parties are not so bad a second time around.

*  *  *

“It’s called a Time Turner,” Lyall says, washing down the biscuit with tea before continuing. “Pretty self-explanatory if you ask me.”

They were eating in Lyall’s studio, empty plates discarded on the coffee table. Remus has been trying for the duration of the meal to get something out of his father about the artefact. Unsuccessfully, that is. 

“Maybe it had a story once but no one passed it onto me. Your grandad only said it’s been in the family for generations.”

“And you never questioned it? You were okay right away?” 

“It was the eighties son,” Lyall shrugs in a manner that says, ‘what do you want me to say?—Which describes the entire situation. “Crazier things were going on at the time.”

Remus frowns slightly. “Weren’t you at least concerned about what you could and couldn’t do with it? The butterfly effect? Running into your past self?”

“That’s not the time travel that’s happening here and I think you know it.”

“I don’t, actually. You haven’t told me a single meaningful thing about anything!” Remus reproaches. “You’re been too careless about this.”

Lyall heaves a sigh before standing up, going to his bookshelf. “Nothing hasn’t happened for as long as it has been with me, Remus, why get all worried now?”

“Because something can happen. Why aren’t you at least concerned?”

Lyall taps his lips with his index finger, watching the tomes carefully. “I don’t have a reason to be, and knowing that now is in good hands, my worries are down to zero.”

“Does somebody else know?” realisation struck Remus. “Does mum know?” 

Lyall turns around, eying him with incredulity. “She will eat me alive. Your mother, the wonderful woman that she is, would never stand for this kind of nonsense.” And Remus has to agree with that and yet it doesn’t bring him any comfort. If anything, it makes him more agitated.

“What do I do now, dad? You can’t drop something like this on me and expect me to carry on with my life.” 

“You can, you know. Carry on with your life, that is.” His dad takes out a book and puts it away again. “This is just a tool, son. Something else at your disposal. And about your next step,” he shrugs, “I guess you’ll have to figure it out on the way. I can give you a few tips here and there but you’re the one living your life.” 

Lyall seems to find what he was looking for and takes the book out of the bookshelf, returning to his seat in front of his son.

Remus scowls. “You’re being utterly unhelpful about all this, I want you to know that.”

“Isn’t it more fun that way?” Lyall muses, eyes dancing with humour.

Remus's scowl deepens and his father laughs.“Does anyone else know?”

Lyall seems to hesitate for a second but shakes his head. “No.”

Remus ran his fingers through his hair in an anxious motion, exhaling harshly. “It’s going to be a complicated year.”

“It’s going to be a complicated life,” Lyall chuckles, tapping his knee lightly with the book. “How are you going to use it?” 

“I don’t know,” Remus admits after a while.

“It was books and art for me,” Lyall offers. “Everything you can think of I read it twice. I have enough sketches I could open a gallery of my own.” Lyall admits. “Oh, and listening to music, I have enough records to last me a lifetime.”

Remus hums, a smile perching on his lips.“That’s a good way to spend your time.” 

But there’s something nagging at the back of his head and Remus must ask just to scratch that itch.

“Why now, dad? Don’t you want it anymore?” He takes it out of his jumper and holds it between his thumb and forefinger. If Remus looks at it from a certain way, he can see every grain of sand in it, glinting like sparkles under sunlight. 

It’s actually a really beautiful thing. “This is one of those things I don’t think you can easily get rid of, especially if you used it so often in your daily life.”

Lyall doesn’t answer for a long time. 

The tapping stops. The book remains steady in his hands but his gaze drifts outside and Remus doesn’t know what to make of it. His dad rarely is anything other than content but right now Lyall looks… Wistful, almost. For what? Remus doesn’t have it in him to ask. 

After what feels like an eternity, his dad murmurs, “it was time.”

Remus doesn’t ask him to explain and Lyall doesn’t clarify what he means. Instead, he stands up again, tea in hand and goes to his working table near the backyard door, daylight pouring on the sketchbook that Remus didn’t notice was open on the table, art supplies scattered around it. 

His father sits, setting the cup nearby. The words World's Best Dad shining on the side. Remus tries not to laugh hysterically.

“Are you really just going to paint right now?”

“Well, yes. It's beautiful today.” Lyall says, hand in the air like he’s deciding what materials he’s going to use. 

Remus can’t believe his dad sometimes and he tells him as much.

Looks like Lyall has found what he was looking for and begins to sketch, ignoring Remus’ protest.  

“Come on dad, you cannot leave me like this.”

“So dramatic,” his father tuts, amused. “You’ll be fine, son.”

Remus groans, covering his face with his hands. “What are you like this?”

“Because it’s fun,” Remus can’t see his face properly but he would bet anything that he’s smiling. He then proceeds to ignore any further attempt from Remus to talk him into more time travel stuff.

“I feel like watercolours today,” Lyall says to no one in particular and Remus knows that’s the end of their conversation.

He heaves a deep sigh and stands up, time turner on hand. 

* * *

So for a long time Remus just —doesn’t use it. He doesn’t even look at it. 

Remus hides it in his drawer which happens to have a loose bottom with enough space to hide the time turner. It's where he usually keeps his stash of sweets away from James and Dora, but he sure can make some space for a time bomb if the time calls for it.

It’s been weeks since that conversation with his dad but he doesn’t want to touch the thing if he doesn’t know how it works first. If he could, Remus would break it down to pieces and assemble it again just to know the way it ticks. Since he can’t, the next best thing is to investigate as much as he can. 

So Remus does just that.

In the first few months of the year, Remus dives into more texts about quantum theory and physics. He reads everything he can get his hands on that has something to do with time travel. Remus even watches time-travel movies, in the hopes that would help him make sense of his situation— they don’t, but he enjoys them anyway.

And yet the more he knows the lesser he understands. It’s not like he can understand decades worth of knowledge in a few months of frantic research, and at some point, Remus decides he needs a second opinion on the matter.

He goes to the wisest person he knows.

Remus finds Minnie reading in the living room, her chair near the window. When she’s not doing something for the council, Remus usually finds her there; she claimed that spot long ago, arguing the light was adequate for reading.

He sits in the chair in front of her, not making a sound, waiting for her to finish her chapter. Remus knows from experience to not interrupt her while she’s reading unless he wants to be on the other end of a very stern lecture.

Minnie doesn’t keep him waiting for long. She turns the page one more time, sets her bookmark and closes the book. 

“Is there something I can do for you, Remus?” she asks him, peering over his reading glasses.

“Are you busy, Minnie? I don’t want to interrupt you.”

“I don’t mind, Remus. What is it?” 

Remus heaves a sigh. “I have a question, Minnie. Multiple, actually.”

She doesn’t say anything so Remus keeps talking. “Right. Well, I guess I’ll better get on with it,” he straightens his back and resolutely, says, “Minnie, what do you know about time travel?”

She doesn’t reply for a long time, just looks at him like she’s trying to figure out what is going on inside his head to ask the most sceptical person he knows if time travel exists. 

“Any specific reason you’re asking me this?” 

He shrugs. “I’ve been interested in this topic lately, you know how it works.” Hey mumbles, hands motioning around his head. Minnie’s gaze softens a little.

“I do.” She says, straightening a little. “Do you wish to know if I think it’s plausible or my opinions about the notion of time travel?”

“Both. I suppose.” He plays with his fingers on his lap. “Anything you know about it.”

Minnie narrows her eyes, assessing. “What are you really asking, Remus?”

“Okay, let’s say that, hypothetically, there’s an object that gives you the ability to time travel.”

“Like the TARDIS,” Minnie nods in understanding.

Remus raises an eyebrow. “Do you know what a TARDIS is?”

“I’m familiar with The Doctor,” Minnie sniffs, mildly offended.

Remus smiles. “Right. Yes, like a TARDIS, only that this object takes you to the past within your timeline, not at any point of existence. It’s not like that movie Back To The Future either where if you mess up, you get erased from existence. Here you can change things but you still are you, does that make sense?”

“Barely.”

Remus tries not to groan. “Minnie, how do you think the artefact works?”

“That’s a very specific question to be hypothetical, Remus.”

“Indulge me.”

Minnie takes off her glasses and regards Remus properly. “For what you’re saying, it seems more like consciousness travelling, that this artefact is able to get in sync with your consciousness and transport it to whatever point in time of your original lifeline. It’s like you’re resetting a timer. Your mind travels to the frequency of your body at that point in time. Think about it as if there’s one straight line that is your original lifeline. You can time travel within the line and if you change anything, you open parallel lines of the original, and if you mess up, you can go back to the original. Does that sound plausible to you?”

To him, it sounds like a pain in the arse but he nods anyway. “So what you’re saying is that every time I go back, hypothetically, I open new timelines? But then what about the other Remus, does he still exist? What about the other lines, the other versions of me?” 

Minnie frowns. “What about them?” 

“Do they still exist even if I’m here?”

“Of course they do, there are multiples versions of yourself coexisting in close proximity but you’re unaware of that most of the time”

“Are you telling me you believe in the theory of parallel universes and multiple realities?” Remus asks, a bit taken aback, of all the theories in the world, he can’t quite believe Minnie chooses to have faith in the most insane one.

She only nods. 

“What you’re saying is that if I were able to time travel I would somehow ‘channel’ that version of me?”

Minnie nods again, a bit exasperated at that point. 

“And what if I die there?” is a valid question, he thinks. “Hypothetically,” he quickly adds. 

Now Minnie gives him an unimpressed look like he’s asking something stupid.

“This hypothetically you, plans to die?”

“No.”

“Then don’t.”

Remus waits to see if she’s going to say something else but when she doesn’t he snorts. “Right.”

 And well, if that doesn’t change things.

Minnie opens her book again and Remus nods, taking the hint. He stands up. “Thanks, Minnie. Good talk.” And then she gets up heading towards the door.

“Remus?”

Remus turns his head a little, still walking, “yes, Minnie?”

She looks him right in the eyes. “Be careful.”

Remus trips, almost falling to the floor but catching himself at the last second with the frame of the door. 

“What?” he asks, startled. 

Minnie holds his gaze for a beat and then goes back to the book in her hand.

Remus goes and Minnie never brings up the topic again. 

After that interaction, Remus all but confirms his belief. 

Minnie’s tight bun is full of secrets and now, it holds one of Remus’ too.

* * *

Remus doesn't need to travel through time to know his family is up to something.

They've been suspicious for the last couple of days, talking in hush tones or completely pretending Remus didn’t catch them in the middle of something when he entered a room. He hasn’t figured out what it is that they’re hiding but it can’t be anything good knowing his family. 

So, in his endeavour to find out what’s going on, he goes to the weakest link of them all to gather some intel. 

“Making something?”

James jumps when Remus sneaks up to him, dropping the spatula. 

“Remus! What are you doing here?” James laughs nervously, trying to act nonchalant. He’s starts putting the frosting again though Remus sees how much faster he does so. 

“This is my house,” Remus points out, looking amused. 

Despite the obvious being caught-up-in-the-middle-of-something, James can’t help but roll his eyes at Remus being a smart-arse. Remus’ lips twitch. “Well, duh. I mean here, at this hour. I thought you wouldn’t be home for at least another half an hour?”

Remus shrugs. “Feeling like coming earlier.” Remus sits on a chair close to James and puts his book bag down. He looks around, suddenly aware that it is just him and James there in the kitchen. “Where’s everyone?”

“I don’t know.” James responds quickly, a bit too quickly. “Somewhere around here, I guess.”

"Right" Remus looks at him suspiciously. His gaze travels at obvious two-ladder cake James is covering with white frost. “You’re making a cake.”

“Er…”

“Blueberries,” Remus points out, as he picks up the empty container. “And this must be… Ah, yes, lemon zest.” He puts down the small plate back on the counter. He looks at  James with a raised brow. “What’s the occasion?” 

James works faster, almost done covering the entire thing. “Look, lobito, it’s not what you think it—”

“You’re making a blueberry lemon cake,” Remus accuses because he would know, it's his favourite. "Why?”

James huffs. “God forbids a guy makes a cake for his best friend on a random Tuesday—”

“James.”

“Fine, it’s a… Surprise. “

“A surprise,” Remus blinks. “My birthday was two months ago.”

“I know.”

“Then what are we—”

“Can you please just—”

James gets cut off by a loud noise at the back of the house. They both stilled, looking at each other. 

And before James can stop him,Remus bolts towards the noise. 

“Remus, wait!”

Remus doesn't wait. He runs towards the backyard in time to see his dad and Monty placing gold tinsel in the branches of their tree while Minnie coordinates them so they get all the branches. There's a balloon that says Congratulations! near the outdoor table where Effie is placing plates and glasses on Remus' favourite picnic mantel while Pandora brings a jar of cold lemonade—which is, you guessed it, Remus' favourite. On the corner, he sees his mum picking up some folder chairs that fell on each other, hence the noise, he presumes.

"What is going on?"

Everyone turns to look at him, dead on their tracks.

A beat passes and then, all hell breaks lose.

"You're early!"

"Mi niño, estamos tan orgullosos de ti—"

"I knew he was going to ruin the surprise somehow."

"I think we missed a spot in the tree Ly…"

"Let's give him some space to breathe before he panics people, thank you!" James' voice comes from behind Remus as he breaks through his family that has gathered around Remus. He walks through them to deposit the now finished blueberry lemon cake on the table and turns around, grinning.

Remus turns to look at the backyard all decorated and back at his family, still very much confused. Is this some non-birthday kind of nonsense or…

"Remus," Minnie is the first to speak up, stopping in front on him, and then, a soft smile appears on his lips. "You got it."

"What? What do you mean? What did I—" Remus' words die on his lips because it suddenly clicks what Minnie means by that.

Ever since he graduated from Uni, he has been applying to different schools around the community in the hopes one of them will take him; close from home, far from home, everywhere really, but as the rejection letters were piling up, Remus was losing hope. 

That was until Minnie told him about a friend with whom she worked with in Scotland a few decades ago that now runs a school in London and who's looking for a new teacher to incorporate in his staff since part of his staff retired.

Even though London is a bit far from Halzar, Remus decides to go for it.

It seems that, against all odds, Remus got the job. 

The job in London, the one that starts in the fall, the teacher job.

Holy shit.

"Holy shit," Remus breathes out, still a bit in shock.

Apparently, his family shares that sentiment. 

Happy doesn't seem to cover it, they're are ecstatic for him. Between hugs and congratulation, something warm fills Remus' chest. He doesn't mind this was the reason everyone was so secretive, he's rather touch.

"A few words from soon-to-be teacher?" Pandora teases.

They're not sitting at the table with Remus at the head, the blueberry lemon cake in front of him and a single candle at the top, as if this were his actual birthday and not some over-the-top celebration about him no longer being unemployed.

"Wish me luck?" Remus shrugs and everyone laughs.

"I bet five quid that Remus would be gray by the end of the school year," James announces.

Remus elbows him and James snickers.

"Grey hairs are inevitable in this line of work. The good news is you can totally work it in your favour, I mean, look at us." Monty waves between Lyall and himself, looking smug. "We look great."

"Teaching is wonderful practice," Minnie agrees, sipping a cup of tea from God knows where. "You will fit right in, young man."

He can't help but smile a little. "You think?"

"I know." Minnie assures him. "London will do you good. Have you look up for a place to stay yet? I can be of help, let me make some calls."

Remus melts. "Thanks Minnie."

"London, huh? Man, you're going to live the life." Pandora sounds thrill at the prospect. Remus, not so much. "I mean, it might not be Paris but is something."

Remus frowns a little. "Paris?" What are you on about?"

Pandora's grin falls a little, and then without finesse he swats James on the arm.

"Ouch! That hurts you cu—"

She cuts him off. "You haven't told him?"

"Told him what?" Effie eyes James with a calculating look.

"Honestly Jaime, this is so unlike you—"

James throws his hands in the air in exasperation. "I haven't told anyone! The only reason you know about it was because you were snooping my mail, again!"

"It's not my fault you get better magazine samples than me."

"Told him what?" Lyall asks, regarding both with curiosity. Just like everyone else at the table.

James scratches the back of his head, a clear telltale of him when he's nervous. "I wasn't going to say anything just yet because, well, this is Remus' moment so—"

"On with it, kid." Minnie cuts James' babbling and James sighs.

"Right. I—I also got the job. The Chef Pâtissier job, in Paris."

A moment of silence and then everyone loses his mind, again.

Everyone gets up to congratulate James this time, but Remus stays rooted on his sit, a bit in a dazed if he's honest with himself. Unlike his, James' job is not hours but kilometers away, in a different country. He's going to be a chef, just like he always dream of, and in Paris, of all places.

Remus is not going to cry, he will not bring the mood down no matter how hard—

"Ay, lobito, come here." James coos looking at Remus sniffing loudly from besides him and doesn't even think before diving for a hug that Remus quickly returns.

He's so happy for his friend, he truly is. He's also trying very hard not to think of the fact that he will go very far away but mostly, Remus has been feeling mushy since this whole thing is a celebration on his name and James' now and he's so stupidly pleased he gets to have this with the people he loves the most.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to steal your moment."

"Shut up, James." Remus laughs wetly, taking some air.

"This is a double celebration now. Let's cut the cake." Hope says, urging everyone to go back to their seats.

"Wait, we need a knife to cut the cake." Effie mentions when she realizes there's nothing to cut the cake with.

"I'll get it," Remus offers, standing up. He also needs to freshen up a little. He cannot be a snotty mess when this is supposed to be a happy event.

Remus doesn't know how or why, but somehow his feet gets tangle with a low part of the mantle and he steps on it dragging everything down in a loud bang. Remus feels his face on fire, he doesn't look at the mess he made, he doesn't look at anyone, really, before he bolts towards de house, muffling the voices calling his name when he closes the door of the patio.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck." Remus chants under his breath, moving without realizing where he's going until he's on his bedroom, specifically in front of his closet door. The time turner is there once he opens one door, safely tucked inside one of Remus' raincoat pockets.

He puts it on, climbs inside the closet and closes the doors.

Remus really wanted to try that blueberry lemon cake.

* * *

"Do you like it, then?"

Remus hums in approval before he finishes his last bite.

"I'm going to miss it, when you go."

James gives him a sad smile. "I know, I'll give you the recipe though."

He leaves the plate on the table. "You know baking is not really my thing."

"What a cold sad world you live in, Lupin." James sighs deeply. "I'll teach you the basics so you don't starve. Because I know if it were for you, you would survive with cheese toasts and tea."

Remus doesn't answer that (what can he say? he knows what he likes). Instead, he asks something he's been meaning to the entire evening.

"Are you scared?" They're the last ones on the table, everyone already inside making dinner. The sky is clear tonight, a few stars can be seen from where they are.

"I am," James admits, looking up at the stars. "Excited, too. Can't tell when one stops and the other begins."

Remus knows, he feels exactly the same. "You're going to be amazing."

James softens at that. "Yeah? You think?"

"I know."

They share a look that says more than they're willing to admit out loud.

"We're going to be fine, Remus. We will." James promises, as easy as breathing.

Remus believes him.

Chapter Text

Two important things happened over the summer.

By the time the air became warmer and the sun stayed in the sky for longer, James made the announcement that he’d be gone for a week. Though ‘announcement’ was a misnomer since it was more of a reminder —the hundredth, since the beginning of the year. It had been a plan that his mates from college had been organising for ages now, a trip to the Dartmoor National Park, to enjoy nature and to ‘connect with the land’, whatever that means.

For the life of him, Remus can't understand what is so enticing about sleeping on dirt and hiking for hours on end. Although, he is fully aware the trip was just an excuse for them to spend one last time together before they went separate ways.

James is thrilled about it of course, but the closer the date came, the more restless he became; packing and unpacking things, going ‘but Remus, what if I need it and I don’t have it?’ one minute and ‘the lesser the better, I’m one with nature, after all,’ the next. He kept forgetting things going around in his bedroom gathering random stuff to shove in his bag, Remus only intervening when he packed his third comb and forgetting to pack his emergency glasses.

But even when he was all done and there was nothing left for him to do but wait, James didn’t stop, instead, he directed all his residual energy towards Remus, switching between reassuring him that it wouldn’t be long and convincing him to go with him.

He was even trying to be sneaky about it, shoving some of Remus’ clothes in his duffel bag when he thought Remus wasn’t watching. It was sweet. Annoying, but sweet.

“James,” Remus huffs, pulling his (third) jumper out of James’ duffle bag, giving him a disapproving look that James dutifully ignores. They’re walking towards the truck, James walking backwards to pay attention to Remus while he’s reminding him of some things to do in his absence. Remus for his part is more concerned with making sure James won’t fall.

“Don’t forget to join Ma for lunch on Monday, you know she doesn’t like to eat alone.”

“I know.”

“I forgot to give Dora the markers, they’re on my desk, can you give them to her for me?”

“I will.”

James stops all of the sudden, touching his pockets. “Remus, I think I forgot my—”

Remus pulls out a transparent pouch with some fidget toys inside, from one of the front pockets of the duffle bag. “You did but I didn’t. I packed extras, just in case.”

James’ face breaks into a broad grin before he frowns and says, “oh, but what about—” Remus takes out a small pack of chewing gum from the pocket of his trousers, putting it in the front pocket of the duffle bag as well before closing it.

“Got you covered, James.”

“I don’t know what I would do without you,” James smiles at him, squeezing Remus’ hand before letting it go.

Remus rolls his eyes but the fondness in his voice is difficult to hide. “Suffer alone, what else?”

James frowns lightly, turning a concerned face towards him.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go? I know you’ll love it there.” Remus pushes James lightly to continue to walk backwards, herding him in the right direction. “You haven’t been there, have you? You can experience the wild nature if you come, I’m sure they won’t mind.”

Remus scoffs. “Wild nature, he says. It’s a big-arse park James, not the Amazonas,” then he takes the bag off his shoulder and throws it onto the back seat. “Besides, I don’t even know them.”

James frowns at his statement. “Cómo no? You know Pedrito, you remember him, don’t you? The one with the birthmark that looks like a chicken nugget? He told you about his cousin who’s also a teacher—”

“James,” he opens the door on the driver’s seat, ushering him inside. James goes mindlessly.

“Don’t you remember that time when I invited some of them over a few years ago? I think Mavis complimented your favourite mug.”

“James,” Remus repeats, securing the seat belt and checking everything is in order.

“—even if you don’t remember any of them I could introduce you again, they’re really cool, you know, we don’t have to hike if you don’t feel like it, we could just walk around and enjoy the view and—”

“James!”

“What?”

Remus has successfully closed the door between their bodies and James, who has just become aware of what is happening, looks in the rearview mirror to see his bag in the backseat.

Remus can’t keep the cheeky smile off his face when he says, “have fun.”

James’ narrow gaze is on him but the chuckle that leaves his lips tells Remus all he needs to know. “How sneaky, lobito.”

“Shut up,” Remus rolls his eyes but he squeezes James’ hand one more time before letting go. He pats the door twice and steps back, waiting for him to drive away.

“I’ll be back before you know it,” James reassures him, turning on the engine. The loud rumble of the truck resonates in Remus's ears.

He nods solemnly. “Take care and bring me something nice.”

James winks. “Will do, little wolf.”

His cackle dies as the truck drives away. Remus misses him already.

* * *

The second thing came with the warm breeze of August.

It was an unspoken truth that this summer was important to everyone in the family. After all, it was the summer of change, of reminiscing even, the one last summer before life will take some of the members in a different direction, pursuing a life outside their little bubble—Remus was still trying to ignore the latter. Thank you very much.

Unbeknownst to them, it was also the time to welcome a new face into their space.

Because it was the summer that Alfie Bauman came into their lives.

If there’s one thing Remus hasn’t grown out of from his childhood, is his inability to notice other people besides his family.

He’s aware of the world that surrounds him, sometimes a little too aware. But connecting with people isn’t something that he looks forward to. Not because he can’t, he just… well, Remus just doesn’t give enough of a fuck, really.

It’s not like he does it to be mean on purpose, you know? He just can’t seem to care when he hasn’t for so long and why would he? Even if talking to people seems inevitable, no rule says he has to keep ties with everyone after he meets them, right?

Remus already has his people and he cares for them, deeply.

All this so say, sometimes Remus needs a little push towards awareness and care for outsiders.

And sometimes, that ‘little push’ is not so little but it is in fact thrust upon him like a ton of bricks with the James Potter signature on it.

So when James arrived that sunny morning in early August, the first thing Remus noticed wasn’t the flames near the wheels the truck now had or the fact that there was extra luggage on the trunk.

And certainly wasn’t the human being in the passenger seat.

No, the first thing Remus notices was James’ hair.

“Oh, Effie is going to kill you,” Remus says with poorly hidden glee.

Remus can barely take his eyes off it. The bright shade of red isn’t something he expected after a camping trip of all things, but he knows better than to underestimate his best friend’s resourcefulness and impulsive decision-making. It looks like Pandora’s colourful highlights but in red. Remus thinks it looks cool but Effie probably won’t share his opinion.

“And who’s gonna make dinner tonight if she kills me? Besides, I’m her favourite child,” James looks at him over his sunglasses with a smug expression before turning the engine off and starting to unpack the truck.

“You’re her only child, mate.” Remus shakes his head lightly. “And yet it's Pandora.”

James clicks his tongue in disregard, whilst trying to take out his duffel bag. Remus takes a step further to help him out but thinks better of it and retreats. His hands are occupied, anyway.

He’s holding a bouquet of jasmines in one hand and a basket of vegetables in the other. Hope had asked him to cut some flowers from the garden, and since the vegetable garden was already there, he took the chance to grab his favourite pair of gloves and harvested some stuff. Remus was on his way to the house when he heard the truck approaching so he was still holding all of that in his hands.

James walks towards him.

“Flowers, Remus? Oh, no te hubieras molestado! you know a kiss will do,” James teases, making smoochie kisses in the air when he reaches Remus.

“Gerroff!” Remus pushes James with his shoulder when he tries to hold down his cheek. When they stop wrestling, he becomes aware of the boy behind his friend.

Remus would be lying if he says he noticed the guy before then.

He tries not to make his discomfort so obvious but he wants to know who the hell is he and what is he doing in his home. Did James tell him about it in one of his rambles before the trip and Remus just didn’t know because he wasn’t paying attention? Or was it one of those in-the-moment kinds of decisions? Either way, Remus isn’t at all prepared for the sight of a boy who he is sure he has never met before.

James follows his line of sight and turns to Remus before laughing at the light scowl on Remus’ forehead.

“What?” James asks innocently, “you told me to bring you something nice.”

“I meant a cool rock, not a person.” Remus hisses.

James reaches for a zipper in his bag and shows him a tiny clear pouch full of small smooth colorful rocks. “I still can’t believe you think so little of me,” he tuts, shaking his head in faux disappointment.

Remus tries to go for the pouch but James holds it out of reach. “Ah, ah. Introductions first,” he motions towards the boy to move near them and sneaks an arm around his shoulders.

“Right! Lobito, this is Alfiler, Alfiler this is my brother, Remus.”

The guy gives Remus a smile. “A pleasure to meet you. James told me so much about you.”

“Alfiler?” Remus throws James an unimpressed look who only shrugs, unbothered.

“Alfred Jackson actually,” the ginger elbows James a little in the stomach. “But Alfred is my dad and Jackson is my brother so, I guess nicknames and weird amalgamations of my name are all I have left,” he sighs deeply. Remus nods in understanding. “But don’t listen to James and, please, Alfie is fine.”

Remus' lips twitch at that. “Right. Well, Alfie, I know a thing or two about funny names.”

“I think yours is pretty neat.” Alfie shrugs, smiling shyly at Remus who doesn’t know how to act after that.

“Oh. Mm, thanks.”

The sound of rushing feet comes from the house behind them. They turn around just in time for Remus to get out of the way and for James to drop his bag and open his arms. Two seconds later he has an armful of an excited Pandora shrieking with delight. James spins her around while she laughs.

When James drops her to the ground, she glances at the guy beside them looking a bit out of place.

“Oh, who will this be?” Pandora regards Alfie with curiosity. Even if the guy has a good few inches over her, she looks at him like she’s bigger somehow.

“This is Alfiler, Panda Bear. Alfiler, my sister Pandora,” James introduces.

Alfie gives James a quizzical look. “You have an awful lot of siblings for someone who’s allegedly an only child.”

“And you say an awful lot of nonsense for someone whose last name isn’t Lupin,” she teases, throwing a quick glance at Remus who huffs offended before looking back at the boy in front of her. She peers at him closely, almost face to face, “or is it?”

A light shade of pink reaches Alfie’s cheeks. He clears his throat. “Bauman. Alfred Jackson Bauman.”

“Well Alfiler Jelly-Bean, dinner is almost ready so why don’t you come and meet the family?” Pandora nods towards the house. Without a second glance, she turns on her heels and walks away without seeing if anyone is following her. Alfie does.

“Jelly-Bean, how didn’t I think of that?” James groans a little and Remus turns to look at him.

James tries to walk away too but Remus stops him with his elbow, waiting until the others are out of earshot before arching a questioning eyebrow at him. “Who is that guy and what is he doing here?”

James winces slightly before running his fingers through his hair. An anxious motion he hasn’t gotten rid of since they were children. “He’s Jackson’s little brother. He joined us for the trip because he was visiting him.” Remus just arches an eyebrow, waiting for the rest of that sentence. James sighs, giving in.

“Jackson got a call from the company saying they were starting earlier this year so he had to go.” James looks back at the entrance to see if someone is near before continuing. “He didn’t want to leave his brother like that and his father is… away or busy, didn’t really hear that part. Alfie’s flight is due at the end of the month and he wants to stay in England a little longer so between conversations, I told him about mum’s enchiladas and he’s never visited this part of Cornwall and— ”

“And you basically adopted someone’s little brother,” Remus finishes, now understanding.

If that wasn’t such a James Potter thing to do, Remus would’ve been very annoyed. But that is just the kind of person James is.

James winces lightly. “Basically, yeah.”

Remus takes a deep breath. “Alright,” he motions towards the entrance. “Go on, then.”

“He’s going to warm up to you in no time, I promised,” James vows. He hoists up the duffle bag with one hand and helps Remus to hold the basket with the other.

Remus doesn’t reply.

* * *

Effie didn’t kill James for the red hair, surprisingly it was Monty who was really distressed when his son told him how he managed to do it, really close to damaging his own hair and all because his friends gave him a dare.

Monty went from scolding James for not dyeing his hair properly to caving in seconds, giving his son a quick rundown of hair products to take care of the new colour. Effie was clearly not pleased about the ordeal but her mood drastically changed when James told her about Alfie’s situation.

After introductions were exchanged, James mentioned to Effie that Alfie wanted to try the enchiladas and they, rather predictably, spent a solid twenty minutes discussing who was going to make them, going back and forth about who made the best ones. All inevitably developed in a competition to prove who made the superior ones.

And Alfie —who has been in the house for less than an hour— had somehow ended up in the middle of a food war.

Worse yet, in the middle of a Potters’ cook-off.

Those were common among them, especially after James graduated from culinary school. Mother and son tend to bicker and disagree about lots of things but always on a light-hearted note; if you were an outsider however, like Alfie was now, you might think things were escalating or something.

They weren’t though, the Potters’ just are this way when food is involved.

“Tu fuego está muy alto, corazón, se te van a quemar el mole,” Effie warns James who's stirring the casserole at her side.

“No se va a quemar porque lo estoy moviendo, ma, usted no lo está moviendo lo suficiente y va a quedar muy espeso.”

“Ya veremos,” Effie says amused, before eyeing suspiciously the closed chocolate bar at his side. “No le agregaste chocolate?”

James gives her a funny look. “Poquito, por?”

Effie shakes her head in mild disapproval. “ Necesitas balancear los sabores sino va a picar demasiado, mi vida, no lo van a poder comer.”

James groans. “Pero ese es el punto! que pique para que sepa rico.”

Effie tuts. “¿Estás viendo que nadie aquí además de nosotros dos y Pandora comemos esta cantidad de picante? ¿Qué quieres, que les de diarrea?” Effie moves a hand over Alfie who is watching the match with a cautious expression, “esa impresión quieres dejarle a tu amigo? Ya no va a querer volver, James!”

“Are they arguing?” Alfie asks Remus, who’s two stools away from him, sipping his tea with ease as if the people in front of him aren’t having a screaming match.

Remus hums. “They’re mostly talking.”

“Ay mamá, por favor. Si ya saben cómo somos y además, Alfie por esto vino, ¿verdad?” James looks pointedly at his friend, a clear sign for a backup as if he is following the conversation effortlessly.

Alfie nods, unsure of what else to do. “See? He can handle the spiciness, usted nomás está buscando una excusa para hacerme perder. Pointless, we both know I’m going to win.” James smiles cheekily at his mother. “What, feeling threatened already?”

“James Fleamont!” Effie hits him with the end of a wet towel on the arm and James yelps. “Nada de inglés en la cocina! ya lo sabes.”

James rubs his arm with a wince. “Lo siento, ma.”

“Did she just hit him?” Alfie turns to Remus with a bewildered expression and Remus can’t keep the amused expression off his face.

He shakes his head lightly. “James is just being a smart-arse. He’ll be fine.”

They both went for another 20 minutes until the meal was ready and they could all gather at the garden table to eat. Of course, James and Effie each served two plates for everyone to have a chance to taste both.

Enchiladas aren’t Remus’ favourite dish out of all the other ones James and Effie had made for them but they are good. It’s clear they want to impress the guest. Remus can’t help but think Effie was right after the first few bites. James’ enchiladas are a lot spicier, even for him, and he wanted to believe he had good endurance for spiciness. Especially after living in close proximity to the Potters’, that is. He turns to look at Alfie on the other side of the table but he seems to find Remus so he doesn’t bring up the issue.

While they’re eating, the conversation inevitably steers towards the guest and Remus gathered a few things about the boy in front of him.

Alfie got a full scholarship to study fashion design in the States and he's is in his final year of Uni; he wasn’t able to see or talk to his brother Jackson during that time as much as he would, due to them living in different time zones and that. He also mentions he has quite the green thumb. Hope perks up at that and they go into an intense conversation about different soils and seeds and seasonal flowers for the summer and a bunch of things Remus didn’t follow.

In the midst of this conversation, Alfie makes the mistake of praising Effie’s enchiladas a little too much. He’s full, that much is clear, but he just can’t say no to Effie’s offerings.

“Ay querido, are you sure you don’t want some more? Come on, here, let me give you another one,” Effie reaches out to the other side of the table where Alfie is holding his plate high so Effie can drop another (two) enchiladas on it, even when Alfie tells her he’s full.

Remus hides his smile behind the glass of water when he sees the grimace Alfie is trying to hide when he goes for the second enchilada.

And it’s after all of them are done that Monty distributes the signs.

“What are these for?” Alfie asks, holding up a sign that had the face of James on one side and Effie’s on the other.

“We are voting, of course,” Hope comments from the end of the table without looking at him, assessing the empty plates in front of her as if she could see the food she has already eaten.

“What?” Alfie looks between all of them, trying to make some sense. “That seems… a bit mean.”

“It’s just honest,” Pandora shrugs, wolfing down the remains of the enchiladas on her plate.

“Hey, Alfiler! Remember that time during the trip when you got your foot stuck between those big rocks? Think about what a great friend I am before choosing sides,” James reminds him next to Effie, both standing side by side, waiting for the verdict.

“Oi!”Pandora throws his napkin at James’ face to shut him up. “External relationships or situations don’t matter here James, don’t try to guilt-trip the man!”

James smirks. “Was worth a shot.”

“Ready?” Effie eyes them all critically.

The signs are up in the air in seconds.

“Are you kidding me? Are you choosing my mother over me? I thought we were friends!” James looks so offended, eyeing the sign Alfie’s holding that shows Effie’s face.

Effie shakes her head, amused. “It was the spiciness, James, I told you so.”

“Traitors, the lot of you,” James clicks his tongue when he realizes Effie wasn’t just Alfie’s but everyone’s choice.

“It was a competition you happened to lose, acknowledge the winner and deal with it,” Minnie says, disapprovingly.

“I am dealing with it.”

Minnie sniffs in disapproval at James' whining. “Poorly.”

“Minnie.”

“Oh don’t pout, you big baby, you know we all love your empanadas, you make the best ones,” Pandora coos at him when he sees James clearly distressed from losing.

“Yeah, I know,” he mumbles, smiling despite himself. “Well done, madre, you are the superior enchilada maker,” he takes her hand, kissing the back of it.

Effie chuckles. “Stop it, James.”

“Is it always like this?” Alfie asks Lyall after a moment, watching Monty giving a sound kiss to Effie, everyone cheering or groaning at this, Remus is smiling softly at the display in fron’t of him.

“Like what?”

“This… happy.”

Remus hears his dad chuckle. “You haven’t seen half of it.”

* * *

It was a Saturday.

A week after James and Alfie arrived, everyone was at the beach, tradition being overshadowed by celebration as they were setting a picnic with tons of food and distributing party hats around, trying to make everything perfect.

Pandora brought the birthday boy after everything was settled. She took the blindfold off his eyes and everyone screamed “Surprise!” shortly followed by an unfortunate but well-intended rendition of happy birthday for the man of the hour.

Monty didn’t seem to care about their out-of-tune singing, anyone could tell by the huge grin on his face that he was having the time of his life. After they ate, and with the help of Pandora’s portable cd player, Monty was dancing salsa at every available opportunity no long after. Mostly with Effie because she was the only other one who knew how to dance properly. And with Lyall of all people, he had one or two dance moves hidden under his sleeve.

But from time to time, he took Minnie out for a dance, and no matter how put out she looked by this, she went up every time without complaining when he offered his hand. Nobody believed her annoyed huffs anymore when they all could see she was clearly indulging the birthday boy.

After they ate and sang and danced, everyone had a little time before it was time to open the presents.

Lyall and Monty’s are near the water, clearly playing skipping stones. A little to the left, Effie’s making some tea for Minnie; Hope and James are untangling some kites they brought, not far away. Pandora is— well, Remus doesn't know where she is but she’s somewhere doing something, for sure.

And Alfie, well, he is reading a book sitting on a towel much like Remus at the moment.

He seems content, clearly engrossed in whatever story he’s devouring, and Remus can’t help but wonder what the guy’s deal is.

He is alright, he supposes, but he hasn’t so much as glanced at Remus since they arrived at the beach. Which isn’t at all unwelcome, mind, but still strange behaviour since he seems to get along with almost everyone in the house except him.

The guy even tends to Hope’s flowerbeds almost every morning and Remus has even caught him harvesting some vegetables from her garden. It might have to do with Alfie’s affinity for green things and of course, he does it under her strict supervision but still. It says a lot from someone like Hope who’s very private about her things. Remus had also seen him chatting with Monty and Lyall quite often and going downtown with James and Pandora.

At the end of the day, Remus thinks it’s actually a good thing.

He doesn’t want him to feel like an outsider or anything like that, but he also can’t help but wonder why Alfie decided he should avoid him specifically. Honestly, Remus thinks of himself as an amicable individual, he can be a good friend if given the chance or so his family says.

Remus doesn’t get why the guy avoids him like the plague.

“It’s because you look at him as if he wears wet socks for fun,” a voice from behind says.

Remus visibly shivers. “Ugh, Pandora, what would you say that? Now I’m thinking about it.”

“Sorry, love. Make some room, would you?” she waves her hand and Remus scoops to the side, making room for her in the towel. She shifts on the towel, holding an open bag of crisps in one hand. She offers some to him.

“You were saying?” Remus asks after a moment, licking the salt and vinegar off his fingers. His favourite.

Pandora shrugs, “I bet you were wondering why Jelly-Bean hasn’t so much as said three words to you since he got here.” She’s looking at the bag, choosing the perfect crisp to eat. “I think it might have something to do with the way you look at him like he’s a bug in your soup.”

Remus cocks his head, thinking. “What kind of bug?”

“Doesn’t matter Remus, what I’m getting at is that you still see him as the intruder that ruined your summer, don’t you?”

Remus splutters. “Of course not.”

Pandora looks at him, skeptic.“Really? Have you talked to him apart from the first day or asked him about something you two might have in common?”

Remus pulls a face. “Now, why would I do that?”

Pandora side-eyes him before going back to her crisps.

“Come on Pan, this is stupid. The guy barely speaks to me as it is, what gives you the impression that we have anything in common or that he’s interested in forming a friendship with me?”

“He asks about you.”

Remus looks at her. “He does?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

She tilts the bag upside down to catch the last crisps before answering. “Well Remus, because that’s how people usually make friends, by asking questions about the other or bonding over a mutual interest.”

“And why is he asking you and not me, if I’m the one he wants to befriend?”

“Maybe because you have a deep scowl on your face every time he’s in the same room as you?”

“I don’t do that,” Remus says, frowning.

Pandora looks amused. “Yeah, you do, but it’s okay. It doesn’t mean you’re being a dick, it just means you still look at him as if he ruined your plans —which I understand, but he’s staying with us for the remainder of the month regardless and he’s not that bad; maybe you should consider giving him a chance.”

Remus doesn’t say anything but Pandora’s words resonate inside his head.

Maybe he’s been unfair.

It’s true that somewhere inside him is still holding a grudge against the man for ruining the idea he had in his head, but it wasn’t like he did it on purpose. After what James told him about his situation, Remus understood. He really did and yet, he couldn’t shake the discomfort of a stranger in his space. Pandora wasn’t wrong about that, Remus should see him more for who he is rather than what it represents to him.

He tries not to wince at the thought, putting it like that, he sounds kind of an arsehole.

Pandora might have sense his change of mood because she puts the hand that isn’t covered in crumbs on his forearm, squeezing once.

“Oh Rem, my intention wasn’t to make you feel bad. I wanted you to know the reason behind his reservation, that’s all.” Remus turns to her and she smiles softly at him, “I know changes are not your favourite thing and this wasn’t what you envisioned when you pictured our summer, but this is what we have now so we better make the best out of it.”

She takes her hand away and folds the plastic bag. “I bet If you get to know him a little, you might get a surprise. You two are rather similar, actually.”

“How similar?” Remus asks.

“You’ll have to find that out by yourself.”

“Dora…”

“You’ll be fine, now go and make friends!” when he doesn’t move, she amends. “Or stay and wait for the friends to come to you! Whatever suits you best I guess.” She stands up, shaking the crumbs and the sand away. “Now if you excuse me, there’s a slice of cake that demands my attention.”

“You’re going to have a sugar rush if you’re not careful,” Remus warns.

“Jokes on you because that’s what I’m aiming for,” and she walks away.

Remus follows her with his eyes and he catches sight of Alfie now far away, still reading his book. He heaves a sigh. Remus has to amend this, doesn’t he? Shaking the sand off his clothes when he stands, he goes where Alfie is but not before grabbing two cans of coke on his way there.

He stops a few feet away from him, hand-stretched. “Thirsty?”

Alfie looks up and as soon as he sees it’s him, he looks away, closing the book on his lap.

“Thanks.”

Remus shuffles his shoes in the sand. “Can I sit?”

Alfie doesn’t respond, but he scoops to make room for him and Remus takes it as a yes.

They don’t talk for a moment. They just sit there, watching.

“I’m sorry,” Remus says, breaking the silence.

“What?”

“I said I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?” Alfie asks, clearly taken aback by the apology.

“For being an arsehole this past few days, I was recently told I wasn’t… the most welcome, and it might have made you feel weird and for that, I’m sorry.”

Alfie chuckles good-heartedly. “No Remus, it’s okay, I’m the one who should apologise. I came here out of nowhere, imposing in your summer, in your home like an intruder and I get it,” he nudges Remus with his elbow lightly. “I also think we started on the wrong foot. I remember you gave me the dirtiest look when I arrived here— yeah don’t give me that look again. You weren’t subtle.”

Remus rolls his eyes, chuckling a little. He has a mean stare or so he has been told.

“So, here’s a crazy thought,” Alfie continues lightly, “what if we try again?”

“Like being friends?”

Alfie nods. “Yes. I mean, you are funny and everyone here holds you in high esteem so—“

“They’re my family, they have an obligation to be nice to me.”

Alfie smiles but it doesn’t reach his eyes. “No, they don’t.”

Remus doesn’t know what that’s supposed to mean but Alfie is not looking at him anymore, his gaze is far away, looking at the waves crashing in the ocean.

Alfie doesn’t elaborate. Remus doesn’t push.

“Do you like it here?” He asks instead.

Alfie turns to him, a lopsided smile on his face. He nods, then shrugs.

“I mean, look at this.”

Alfie motions towards the people in front of them and Remus gets what he means. They’re dancing again. Pandora went to play some of Monty’s favourite salsa CDs and they were jumping in the sand, moving their feet and their hands as free and untamed as the ocean beside them.

“They’ve been nothing but lovely since I got here. James told me all about you guys, he wouldn’t shut up about it the whole way here.”

Remus fights the smiles off his lips. “It’s James, he never shuts up about anything.”

Alfie laughs. “Can you believe we were talking about the wildlife that we will encounter in the park and James spent a solid twenty minutes talking about interesting facts about deer? I learned so much about their mating techniques against my will,” he says, shuddering.

Remus's lips twitch. “I’m surprised he didn’t tell you about his near encounter with death when he met a deer when he was little.”

“Oh no, he did. I’m not sure if I believe it, though, it seems a bit ludicrous.”

“Oh yeah, it’s not true at all. I asked Monty once and he told me it was a rather big dog with two sticks tangled in the fur near the head but James was very little to remember,” Remus says amused and Alfie can’t keep the laugh from falling from his mouth.

The laugh dies down and the silence settles again before Remus breaks it again. “Truth be told, I think he was just homesick, he talks the most when he talks about his family.”

“I can’t blame him, I wouldn’t be any different,” Alfie reasons. “If I have this family to get back to I would never shut up about it either.”

Remus knows, just from looking at the way he’s sitting —legs folded close to his chest, his chin on his knees, looking away— that whatever he’s going to say next, will matter. The path is there, the opportunity to ask questions, to offer a willing ear, to care.

Remus is trying, so he asks, “how are they, then?”

Alfie turns to read Remus's expression and shakes his head. “Oh no, my family is fine. No, they are really great. Jackson is such a great brother! He has always looked out for me since we were little and he visits whenever he can, so I can’t actually complain,” he blurts out. Alfie stops to take a deep breath, and in a gentle tone he adds, “he was so thrilled when I got into Penn. He even threw me a surprise farewell party.”

Remus knocks his shoulder with him. “That’s great Alfie, I bet he was really proud.”

Alfie nods, chuckling lightly at the memory. “Yeah, he was really happy about it. I, uh, I just—” He looks away, playing with the laces in his trainers. “I still didn’t know how he managed, he wasn’t actually here to organise the whole thing but somehow he pulled it off; he even hired a magician of all things because he knew I always wanted to see one when I was a kid.”

Remus’ brows fly up to his forehead. “A magician? For real? Wow, that’s really, um— something.”

Alfie laughs at Remus’ expression, “The guy was absolute rubbish. He was actually pissed the whole time and tried to turn a grey rat to yellow.”

“Oh yes, the final challenge is to prove you’re a real wizard. What did your dad do?”

Alfie’s entire demeanour changes, he deflates a bit. “Oh, um. He was busy, actually. He had to work a double shift that day or so, he said, so.” He rubs the back of his neck in an anxious motion, “later we found out he was getting pissed with some of his friends at a pub.”

Remus grimaces a little. “That’s shitty Alfie, I’m sorry.”

“He had a rough time when mum passed away so, I get it. Doesn’t matter, he’s trying. He sends a postcard on Christmas to my aunt’s so. He’s not the best dad by any means but I hope that one day he can get a stable job and be happy, you know? Who knows, maybe we could even celebrate my birthday this year like this.”

He didn’t sound so sure but Remus offered him a smile. “That sounds great, actually.”

“I only hope he doesn’t disappear again,” he mutters more to himself but Remus catches it and before he can ask what that is about, the particular ring on James’ voice startled them.

“Gather up people, it’s time for presents!” James screams to everyone, moving towards the presents.

Remus stands up, holding his arm for Alfie to take. He does.

“Which are you going to open first?” Effie looks at the pile of presents in the centre of their circle, everyone in their chairs surrounding the pile.

“Mine!” James gets up from the chair and grabs the red one with a golden ribbon. He gives it to his father. “You’re going to love it.”

When Monty tears down the wrapper and gets a glimpse of what’s inside, a sound laugh erupts from his throat. It’s a tiny kitchen set. It has all the utensils and some tiny groceries.

Alfie gives Remus a funny look and Remus can’t seem to explain it’s a running joke between them.

Monty is a very large person and everyone finds it ironic that this big man has an affinity for miniature things. He even made a collection of it. So whenever they can, they add to his collection. James the most out of everyone.

“Muchas gracias mijo, I love it,” Monty gives James a kiss on the forehead and James beams. Then dives for the other presents.

He gets another miniature set from Hope this time, a board game from Minnie, a portrait of himself as a giant orange (his favourite fruit) from Pandora, a green raincoat from Alfie, a collector’s edition of ‘Anne of Green Gables’ from Remus and a card that says he can pick a rocking chair from downtown he’s been talking for months whenever he wants. That earned Effie a rather soundly kiss.

Lyall’s present is the only one left.

“You better have gotten me those rain boots I told you about Lupin or I’ll be very disappointed in you.”

Lyall reclines in his chair. “We’ll see.”

Monty chuckles but when he opens the present, his breath hitches.

“What is it, Dad?” James asks curiously, trying to take a peek.

Monty can’t seem to respond, he just stares at whatever it is inside.

He eventually takes out what seems to be a bunch of sketches and when he shows it to Effie, she gasps.

“Oh, Lupin. You did it again,” and when Effie turns the sketches around, Remus can finally see what the fuss is all about.

Everyone outside the family thinks Pandora’s love for art came from that one art class she took when she was in elementary school but very few know that it all started with Lyall teaching her how to hold a brush before she could hold a pen. It’s one of those things that he keeps them private but on rare occasions like this, he lets it show.

The drawings seem to be like polaroids from different parts of a city that isn’t the one they live in. From the current themes in the drawing, it seems to be snapshots of Mexico.

One is the front of a tortillería, the other is a market stall; there’s a playground, a guy with a strange-looking trolley that seems to draw smoke; a militia man with a box that seems to be winding it up. There are a bunch of drawings inside the box and if Remus didn’t know about the time turner, he would’ve questioned his father when he got time to do all this.

“Last year you were talking about how much you miss Mexico and you were telling me some stuff about how you grew up and all the things you wish to see again. It’s not the same as if you were to see it in person but I thought maybe you would like it regardless,” Lyall explains when the silence feels too grand.

Monty looks up at Lyall, unshed tears in his eyes.

“I’m about to hug the shit out of you.” he says, voice rough, scrubbing the tears away.

“I’ll question my ability as a gift giver if you don't.” Lyall teases but opens his arms, “Come here already, old man.”

And Monty does just that.

Chapter Text

Remus should have seen it coming.

Then again, it was the subtle nature of these acts —nothing too obvious in the little touches that lingered a tad longer, nothing too straightforward or bold in the furtive glances and the permanent rose cheeks— that prevented Remus from understanding the underlying meaning.

So, rather predictably, he didn’t notice shit. Remus never notices shit. He certainly didn’t when the following around started.

Well, no, he did notice that, but not for the reasons you may think.

Remus wonders if Alfie knows he knows.

He concludes that no because if he did, he would stop or at least, Remus thinks he would. And he isn’t, he keeps popping up whenever Remus happens to be doing something.

If Remus is in the garden, Alfie follows no longer after, murmuring something about checking up on some plants for Hope; if Remus is making breakfast, Alfie just happened to be hungry too, rummaging the cupboards looking for something that probably wasn’t there; if Remus goes for a walk at the beach, Alfie is conveniently in the mood for a walk too.

It’s infuriating.

It took Remus an embarrassing amount of time to notice this was a thing and almost as much time to do something about it. It’s not that he cares that the guy is basically stalking him, Alfie never interrupts him when he’s reading or anything, he just excuses himself and lets Remus carry on with whatever he’s doing.

The thing is —he’s just always there.

And after Remus concludes that Alfie is indeed following him, he isn’t sure about how to proceed. It’s not like he can say something to him because, at the end of the day, Alfie isn’t doing anything wrong, so Remus doesn’t have a solid argument against him other than ‘back off’ so he keeps his mouth shut.

That is until one day, Remus is fed up.

“Do you need something?” Remus snaps to Alfie who’s pacing in front of the bookcase a few meters from him.

They were in Minnie’s studio. Remus was hiding there earlier and after twenty minutes went undisturbed, he thought he was in the clear. Until the unmistakable creak of the door opening had Remus biting back a groan.

Alfie is making the most distracting noises with the incessant tapping of his fingers against the cover of the spine of the book and the shuffle of the sole of his sneakers against the linoleum and it’s driving Remus to the walls. So before he can hold his tongue, the words are already out.

For his part, Alfie seems startled by the sound of his voice, like he wasn’t expecting Remus to acknowledge him.

Remus arches a curious brow at his silence.

“I’m just reading,” he chuckles nervously, motioning at the open book he’s holding in one hand.

Remus narrows his eyes at it.

“I thought you didn’t understand Spanish,” Remus comments, nodding at the cover, “Or that you liked Magical Realism.”

Remus gets his answer from the confused look on Alfie’s face. “What?”

He points at the cover. “The theme of the book you’re holding upside down, Alfie. ”

A faint blush spreads on the guy’s cheeks but doesn’t say anything, he just closes the book and returns it to the shelf just as Remus returns to his book, hoping Alfie will go away since he called out his bluff.

He’s reading in the armchair near the window that was usually occupied by Minnie but since she isn’t in the house, he took advantage of the perfect spot for reading. From his peripheral vision Remus realizes Alfie hasn’t gone away as he thought he would so he heaves a deeper sigh and closes his book.

“What is it that you want, Alfie?”

“You,” Alfie blurts out.

Remus’ eyes bulge. “Come again?” he asks, faintly.

“I mean,” Alfie splutters, the blush now full on his face it could match a red apple. “What I was trying to say is that— Would you, I mean—Will you be willing to go out?”

Remus looks outside, then at the closed book on his lap, and last at the man in front of him.

“Not at the moment, no.”

Alfie aggressively nods. “Right, right. Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.”

And even after a bit of shuffling and babbling he still doesn’t leave Remus alone, so Remus decides to address the elephant in the room.

“You’ve been following me,” a statement, not a question.

Alfie fidgets with his bracelet. Remus has noticed he does that quite often when he’s nervous. Why would he be nervous about it? Does he have some reservations about Remus again?

“That’s not true.”

“Right, so you just happened to be everywhere I go?” Remus challenges.

Alfie seems to contemplate his options. Then he groans loudly and flops down on the armchair in front of Remus, unceremoniously. “Okay, fine, maybe you have a point. Happy?”

“That’s not the word I would use to describe it but sure, let’s go with that,” Remus murmurs, looking away.

“Remus,” Alfie says. He gives Remus an abashed smile when he looks in his direction. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was bothering you, I’ll stop.”

Remus grimaces a little. “I’m sorry too, I am being kind of a prick, aren’t I? I get irritated very easily.”

“You don’t say,” Alfie teases. “The ‘fuck off’ tone gave me mixed signals actually, try again?” and Remus chuckles at that.

Because despite the following around, Pandora was right.

Once their silly one-sided animosity is set aside, it turns out Alfie and Remus have a lot in common. Both share similar views on things like movies and books, they have a witty sense of humour and funnily enough, Alfie hates hiking too. Remus knows there’s more to friendship than a few shared interests but it is a great ground to start. It’s almost funny the way they get along, so seamlessly. Almost as if they were friends for longer.

When Remus started getting more comfortable with Alfie’s presence, he let himself engage in their day-to-day activities too.

They got the time to explore some parts of town they hadn’t been in a long time ago, playing board games with the family more often than not and he even let Alfie use his second favourite mug, so that was that. They spent most of their time outside, between the beach and the garden, or the ice cream parlour if the day's weather was good.

Alfie for his part seemed to be having a great time getting dragged from one place to another, not complaining in the least about the Lupin-Lovegood-Potters’ shenanigans and always with a huge grin on his face that matched the one in everyone’s faces.

That was the main reason why this following around was annoying Remus greatly in the first place. He discovered recently he likes spending time with Alfie, he just doesn’t like the feeling like he’s being watched or he’s being followed.

Remus regards Alfie for a moment.

Sitting there, clearly trying not to fidget with the loose end on the armrest he looks a bit lost. Remus knows he’s having a good time with them these last few days and Remus has been enjoying it too. He wants to keep doing that. Why does it matter that Alfie is acting a little weird? Remus can handle weird things, he has limited time anyway so, might as well.

“Alfie.”

The man turns to Remus, waiting. Remus can’t help the smile spreading on his face.

“Want to go find James and force him to play skipping stones at the beach? he always loses,” he confidences before standing up without expecting an answer and goes outside, the book long forgotten on the chair.

Remus doesn’t notice the way Alfie’s face lights up, hopeful and eager to follow after him one more time.

* * *

Remus never notices shit. He certainly didn’t when they played volleyball on the outskirts of their house.

“Are we done now?”

He is breathing heavily trying to get some air in his lungs, he can barely make a sentence out without wheezing. His wrist and forearms hurt and Remus can’t believe people do this for fun. He can believe he is now one of said people. Remus is not used to this kind of exercise.

James all but dumped the water on his face, the droplets running off his already red cheeks. He’s sweaty like Remus himself but unlike him, James looks like he could run a marathon. They have been playing for a while now, the sun already going down but now as fast as Remus would’ve wanted. He wonders how much longer it would take.

“He’s letting us win, the bastard,” James grumbles ignoring Remus’ protest, before taking some gulps of water.

“Is he? Doesn’t seem like it,” he looks at where Minnie is holding the score near the net, they were 16-12.

James snorts loudly. “If he wasn’t, we would be done by now. Jackson told me Alfie’s Uni team qualified to represent the county in the national contest, so unless he was full of shit, I expected to be kicked in the ass by now.”

“Don’t sound so disappointed about it.” James shoves him and Remus snickers.

“Hey! Are you going to play or what? Move your lazy asses back into the court!” Pandora shouts, already in position on the other side of the net, Alfie not far behind her.

“Yeah! Lazy asses!” Monty boos from the folded chair outside the court, next to the other adults. Effie swats her hand lightly on his arm, trying to hide a snicker on her own.

“Dad.”

“Sorry, mijo!”

“Let’s get this over with, come on,” Remus leaves his water bottle and goes near the net.

He squats a bit, getting face to face with Pandora who wiggles his eyebrows playfully at him. Her face is red and his hair is stuck to the side of her face. Her butterfly pins glimmer under the summer sun and Remus thinks she looks kind of badass.

“Tired?”

Remus moves his shoulder a bit. “A bit, yes,” and an understatement, really, but he knows she worries.

“Does it hurt?”

He follows her gaze and Remus notices he’s rubbing his wrists unconsciously. His forearms and wrist are a bit swollen and red, with white dots in them. He tries not to wince. “Everything kinda hurts, at this point.”

Pandora seems to think about it. “Wanna be done with this?”

Remus huffs a laugh. “Wish it was that easy, we are still 8 points behind to finish the second set,”

“It is that easy,” Pandora assures him under her breath before standing up straighter and shouting, “Partner swap! Jamie, I’m going with you, Rem, with Alfie.” She nods at him all business and goes under the net.

Remus is too tired to think of the reason behind it because if there’s an undeniable truth about her sister is that she always does everything for a reason. So he just goes with it.

When he’s on the other side of the net, Alfie is cleaning the sweat out of his forehead with the bottom of his shirt, leaving some of the lower parts of his stomach on display. Remus tries not to make a face. Can you blame him? They have been playing for a long time and Remus knows for a fact that the shirt touched the dirt at some point. It’s a bit gross.

He doesn’t comment on it when Alfie’s eyes fall on him and Remus gives him a tired smile.

“Tired?” It’s like he read his mind.

“A little,” Remus admits.

Alfie looks at him for a moment and then nods. “Don’t worry, I got you.”

“You better,” Remus tries to be playful but he’s out of his sort at that point so it sounds like an order, one Alfie seems to take a bit seriously as he squares his shoulders.

The match lasts five minutes after that.

In his exhaustion, Remus doesn’t let his brain dwell much on this fact, his body is just glad to be done, picking everything up and heading for a deserved shower. Remus, of course, doesn’t notice the way Alfie’s eyes seem to be following him like he can’t help himself.

* * *

Remus never notices shit. He certainly didn’t when they had their final lunch together.

“At last Alfie, our time has come to an end,” Lyall proclaims like a pastor doing the last sermon.

From the other side of the table, Pandora mimics stabbing James in the chest repeatedly with a fork. James groans and makes choking sounds before slumping on his seat, tongue out, dead. Then she does the same with herself. Remus takes another bite out of his chicken, trying to hide his amusement.

They are having lunch on the patio again, the breeze smells like seawater and the pie his mom made taste good. There is something nostalgic in the way they are sharing the same space together, chatting and laughing like they learned how to all those years ago.

“It was wonderful having you here this summer, dear” Hope amends, ignoring the kid’s antics. “Wasn’t it, Minnie?”

“Mmm?” she hums in question, paying more attention to the papers she’s revising on her lap than to the actual conversation going around her.

“That it was great having Alfie here with us, darling.”

Minnie doesn’t even look up from what she’s reading when she says, “Yeah, yeah, the greatest pleasure.”

“Thank you, Minn… Ms McGonagall.” Alfie corrects mid-sentence when Minnie’s head snaps up, glowering at him. She doesn’t like to be called that. She doesn’t have a choice with the family, much to her chagrin, but Alfie on the other hand, is easily intimidated.

Effie waves a hand. “Don’t mind her, she had a great time,” she amends, refilling his glass with pink lemonade.

“I had a really good summer with you, thank you for having me here and opening your home to me, I’m really grateful,” Alfie clears his throat, looking shy all of the sudden. “I —I actually have a little something for you, if that’s okay, ” he stands up before anyone speaks and runs inside the house.

Everyone looks at each other confused.

A few seconds later Alfie comes with a big paper bag full of… is that fabric?

He takes a seat and puts the bag on his lap, smiling like a maniac. “Effie was kind enough to lend me her sewing machine so I could make some things for you,” he explains, taking out the clothes from the paper bag.

James snaps his fingers in realization. “So that was the buzzing sound I heard the other day!”

“I thought it was an electric razor and you were having another existential crisis,” Pandora says offhandedly, motioning at his hair, the red highlights now more brownish.

“And yet you didn’t join me? What kind of sister are you?”

Pandora smiles wickedly. “The kind that prefers to see the downfall of things.”

“It’s not much because I didn’t get the materials I was hoping for from the store downtown but I did my best,” Alfie admonishes, passing around the pieces he made.

Hope gets a new pair of garden gloves; Lyall gets a pouch made from multicolour scraps, to store his art supplies; Effie gets a colourful pouch* with tons of pockets to store her herbs; Monty gets a pair of oven gloves because he burned the last ones; James gets a bucket hat with two antlers on top and Pandora gets a fancy tote bag —even Minnie gets a small modest pencil case. Remus, though, he gets…

“A coat?” he says, holding the piece of clothing to see the details. It has big buttons and pockets. It’s brown and the texture feels good between his fingers, not itchy or uncomfortable.

“Cotton,” Alfie points out and Remus's head snaps up from the coat.

He doesn’t know what to say. Pandora does. “What are you doing there looking like an idiot? Go on, try it on!”

Remus does, he stands up and puts the coat on. It feels soft and good on his skin. It’s comfortable and for the looks he gets from around the table, he must look okay.

“I think every teacher should have at least one nice coat in their closet,” Alfie explains, shrugging, and Remus can’t believe him.

“Thank you, Alfie, I really like it,” Remus says, still looking at the coat with a big smile on his face. He’s so focused on it he doesn’t notice the way Alfie beams at the praise or that he was the only one who received a piece of clothing.

* * *

Remus never notices shit. He definitely didn’t when he found Alfie that night alone in the garden.

Sometimes, when everything feels too big, too loud, too much— Remus goes stargazing. It’s something he loves doing, watching the sky at night. He finds the little ritual of his so comforting, sneaking out at night to go see the stairs for as long as he can, only the light of the moon for company.

It’s one of those activities he enjoys doing in solitude and he does it as much as he can get away with; He paddles down to the edge of the garden where the cliff looks at the ocean far away, he lays down the blanket he brings with him and lays on top of it, looking up at the stars and the moon with the sound of waves crashing in the distance.

But right when he’s about to do that, the last thing he’s expecting is finding a hunched figure already in his spot, crying.

“Alfie? Is that you?” Remus knows it is. Even in the middle of the night, the moonlight shines the deep shade of red hair and his fair complexion, Alfie’s body still facing the cliff.

The last time Remus saw him, Alfie was okay, he was laughing even. He was playing UNO with James, Hope and Effie in the living room. Remus steered clear of that one because his mother is a competitive person and the Potters are no better, so he usually takes his distance when they happen to play.

Maybe that’s the reason he’s crying? Maybe they were too intense? Who knows, they don’t discriminate between family and friends when they are playing so Remus doesn’t discard that possibility too soon.

But looking at the man right now, hunched near the trunk of a tree, Remus has a difficult time pinning that possibility with what he sees in Alfie’s face. Utter sadness. He is startled by Remus’ voice but doesn’t turn around, he just clutches his phone tightly.

“Oh. Sorry, Remus. Didn’t see you there,” he tries to hide his sniff in the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “You spooked me, that's all.”

Remus gets to his side and even with the dim light, Alfie’s red-rimmed eyes and tear-stained cheeks are hard to miss.

Despite all his teacher’s training, Remus still has a hard time trying to provide solace to people. He knows how to deal with kids, but adults? He tends to feel awkward and overall useless when it comes to complex emotions and the way said emotions show in other people.

But if there’s one thing Remus learned is that, in doubt, kindness is the way to go.

He read it on a toilet paper wrapper once, mind, but has served him well so far.

“What happened? Are you hurt?” Remus puts the blanket on the grass and sits beside Alfie, still letting some distance so he wouldn’t overwhelm the guy.

Alfie goes for a smile that crumbles in seconds.

“I just got a text from my dad saying that he’s almost done with his work and he was going to celebrate— which that’s really great and all but, he told me where he was heading and I happened to know where that is because is like half an hour from here and he asked me to join him but, Remus” he stops, looking at Remus behind his watery eyelashes. “Do you know what this means?”

Remus shakes his head.

Taking a deep shaky breath before continuing and glancing at the dark screen of his phone, Alfie continues. “That he has known all summer that I was here and he didn’t even call me once to meet up. Not until today, my last day here. I don’t know how he found out or if he even cares but, he’s been less than an hour by car from me and he didn’t care.” Alfie chokes up at that last part.

“Did you confront him?”

Alfie wipes the tears off his cheeks. “I did.”

“What did he say?”

“He played the victim and then threw it back at me. Saying that the first time I come back I’m out somewhere far from home and I forgot about him and he said—” all the fight happens to leave his body, leaving only a sag frame lying against the tree. “Am I a selfish person, Remus?” he turns to him, looking for an answer in Remus’ troubled face.

Remus shakes his head. “Of course not, Alfie. What would you think that?”

“Because I left him,” he murmurs, sounding so tired.

“Alfie,” Remus sounds sad even to his own ears.

“What if—what if it’s my fault? If I just could’ve been better, maybe he wouldn’t be whatever he is. He used to be so kind, you know? So thoughtful with us before… everything. Maybe if I had done everything differently. I could’ve helped him more instead of running away when I saw the opportunity.”

Remus shakes his head. “I don’t think that’s how it works, Alfie.”

“I used to hate him, you know,” he murmurs, no longer looking at his phone or at Remus’ direction but at the dark mass that is the ocean, where the sounds came.

“Your dad?”

“My brother,” he says, like it’s some kind of sin.

Remus frowns in confusion. “Why?”

“For leaving me.”

Remus mulls that thought for a moment. After a while, he says. “There’s nothing wrong about leaving a place that is hurting you, you know.”

Alfie smiles. A fragile little thing.

“Easy to say when you’re not the one getting left behind.”

And Remus understood then. “This isn’t just about your father, is it?” he asks searching for Alfie’s face but he’s looking at his phone again, like it has wronged him.

He doesn’t say anything for a moment, a scowl slowly forming on his face.“Jackson sent me another picture with his friends.”

That's… not what Remus is expecting. “And that’s bad because…”

“Because he seems happy.”

Remus is not following. He says as much.

“He left me and now he keeps rubbing on my face the grand life he has away from everyone. How cool it is, how glad he is where he is, far away from him, from this.” Alfie hugs his knees closer to his chest. “From me.”

Remus takes a moment to think about it.

“Is he really or he’s just living his life?”

Alfie glowers at him, nose still red from crying and puffy eyes. Remus hardly finds himself intimidated by it.

“Have you ever considered that maybe, just maybe, your brother is only trying his best to live his life?” Remus offers. “I might be stepping over an invisible line here but to me, it seems he’s just trying to make the best out of a great opportunity, because from what James told me, it is a really good one. And maybe, he wants to share the happiness he’s feeling with his brother.”

The boy beside him remains silent but a light frown appears on his forehead. Remus doesn’t think he’s aware he’s pursing his lips like he doesn’t like what he’s hearing but he knows it's true.

Remus bumps his shoulder lightly. “There’s also the possibility that he’s an awful brother and he’s being a dick with you.”

“Thank you, Remus, was that so hard?” Alfie huffs childishly and Remus can’t help but laugh.

Remus is still surprised about how far they’ve come. They had a rocky start, yes, but afterwards, he took the time to learn about Alfie, to enjoy his presence and all the things that come with having someone as wonderful as Alfie as a friend.

One thing about Remus is that, if he can do something about a situation, he will. If there’s a possibility to help a friend, he will do it. Surprisingly, Alfie now enters that category.

And honestly? Remus just doesn’t want to see his friend sad.

So he leans in. Alfie’s eyes immediately widen, searching desperately into Remus's gaze for an explanation. Remus opens his arms and, in a rather awkward manner, he embraces the panicked guy in a tight hug.

Alfie hasn’t moved an inch nor has he turned away from the hug. It’s stiff and lasts a little too long but is the best Remus can do at the moment. When they break apart, Remus smiles softly at him, hoping he’s conveying his support and care in that simple action.

What Remus doesn’t expect is to find sheer intensity in Alfie’s gaze, looking back at him like he has found the answers he has been seeking. He cradles Remus's cheek softly, a clear contrast with what his eyes are telling. Remus barely has time to register what’s about to happen when Alfie’s lips are on his.

It’s the softest of kisses, a brush of lips, really. It ends before it starts and Alfie is pulling away. Remus stares at him, thoroughly confused. And then everything that happened with Alfie comes to his mind in a rush and Remus is two seconds away from jumping off that cliff instead of facing the fact that he is an oblivious idiot.

He really should’ve seen this coming.

“Alfie,” Remus starts but can’t seem to muster anything else. Alfie just looks so vulnerable and even hopeful but as the seconds go by without another word from Remus, Alfie’s demeanour changes, deflating and he moves away from Remus.

A hollow chuckle falls off his lips. “I guess it wasn’t the smartest decision to do this on my last night here, right?”

Remus looks at him, helplessly.

Alfie shakes his head. “Don’t Remus. It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything.”

Remus actually can’t, which makes everything ten times worse.

Alfie sighs, holding his phone tightly. “I prefer not to make a fool out of myself even more than I already have if it’s the same to you.”

“I’m sorry,” Remus chokes out.

Alfie stops him before he can continue. “It really is okay Remus. You don’t have to try to make me feel better.”

“I didn’t mean for this to happen,” Remus tries because what else is there to say?

“It's okay, I— um, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable,” Alfie tries for a smile, not a very good one. “Besides, it’s not your fault Remus, I was doomed since the first time I set foot in your driveway anyway.”

“Actually?” Remus gives him a puzzled look.

Alfie chuckles humorlessly. “Yeah, I guess I like a challenge.”

“You sound like James.”

“Guess that’s what makes us friends.” He tries to smile but settles on a grimace. Remus wants to scream.

He feels awful. Remus can’t help but think over and over again that if he would’ve been a little more aware of the guy beside him —or just in general, really, he might have seen the signs early on. He might have even prevented this snowball from ever being created. Or at the very least, make sure he didn’t leave him hanging on.

Remus truly cares about Alfie and he has grown quite fond of him in the last couple of weeks. He doesn’t want him to be heartbroken over this and it’s not that he can suddenly make himself see Alfie in a different light nor that he wants to. He’s quite comfortable being his friend and it pains him to see his friend in this situation. If only he could make the pain go away.

A beat passes.

Remus almost gets dizzy by how quickly he stands up, looking around like a madman.

“Where are you going?” Alfie looks at him from below.

“I’ll be right back,” he assures him before he all but sprints towards the house without an explanation.

Remus tiptoes when he gets inside, trying to not wake anyone and goes for the nearest cupboard.

He holds the time turner tightly before giving it three turns and lets the time take him away to that hot day back in early August when a certain ginger was about to enter his life. Remus can’t take the look on Alfie’s face out of his head and he would do anything to make the pain go away, even if that means erasing whatever they formed the last few weeks.

* * *

“Right! Lobito, this is Alfiler, Alfiler this is my brother, Remus.”

The guy smiles at Remus. “A pleasure to meet you. James told me so much about you.”

“Hello, welcome, you coming?” Remus nods but doesn’t say anything else. Instead, he turns on his heels and leaves.

* * *

Alfie doesn’t seem to be avoiding him this second time around but he doesn’t seem so sure around him either. Remus tries his hardest to remain polite and impartial. Not giving too much away. He answers his questions if he has any but not much. Like acquaintances, almost. It’s awful. But he keeps with the charade for that first day.

When the night comes, goes to Alfie’s room.

“Remus?” Alfie seems surprised to see him there on the other side of the door.

Remus smiles a little and gestures to the room. “Can I come in?”

“Sure,” Alfie moves away to make room and Remus flops onto the mattress. “What’s up?”

“There’s something I need to tell you.”

Alfie sits on the bed too, giving him a funny look but Remus continues. “I’m not looking for anything.”

“¨Pardon?” Alfie arches an eyebrow.

Remus tries to be brave about this, ignoring how much he wants to crawl out of his skin right now. He pushes through.

“I said I’m not looking for anything, no relationships, no boyfriend, nothing.”

The ginger’s clearly out of sorts. “I mean, good for you, mate.”

“I don’t want anything to do with you, Alfie.” Remus sounds quite harsh but he’s been on edge all day. Maybe this way Alfie would get it and boy does he get it.

It takes a moment for Remus’ words to settle in but once they do, it’s like someone turns on a switch inside him. Alfie’s face looks livid and he’s frowning deeply. His cheeks are red of pure fury Remus can’t help but squirm a little. It takes Alfie a moment to gather his wits but when he does, his voice comes out harshly.

“Wow Remus, you clearly know how to make a lad feel appreciated, don’t you?” Alfie chuckle is hollow, Remus hates it. “I think it would be better if you leave,” he doesn’t look in Remus’ direction again but Remus goes anyway.

That was beyond awful and Remus tries to swallow the guilt and disgust he feels at the moment. It didn’t turn out quite as he expected but he isn’t deterred. If there’s a chance that he might not get his heart broken by someone as plain as Remus, then the oppression his feeling on his chest is worth it.

Remus ensures he’s alone before entering the cupboard and turning the time-turner. He closes his eyes tightly, hoping for the best on the other side of the timeline.

* * *

“Alfie?”

Remus is walking in the garden, unsure if he’s going to find Alfie there again or if he’s going to have to wait until tomorrow to see if his plan works.

Remus stops when he hears some voices.

“...I can’t tell him now, it’s my last day here and all I’m going to do is make him hate me even more,” a voice says.

There’s a hushed tone from a second voice, soothing. “He doesn’t hate you.”

Remus stops in his tracks. What’s James doing there in the middle of the night? And with Alfie?

“He does, though. He made that very clear from day one. To stay away from him, he doesn’t want anything to do with me.”

James sounds apologetic. “I’m sure he doesn’t say it like that.”

“Might as well, he made it obvious from the start that he was not interested in me,” Alfie sniffs. “I couldn’t help it. He’s kind and smart and so fucking funny. I’ve seen the way he’s with you, with Pandora, with everyone here. He cares about you deeply and what am I supposed to do with that? What’s not to like?”

James doesn’t say anything for a long time and Remus grows anxious until in a soft tone, he says,

“Sometimes we can’t help those we are attracted to. What we can do is carry on and let that love pour out of ourselves, sharing it with others before it can eat us from the inside.”

“That’s… quite dark, James.”

“It’s also a piece of good advice. Don’t hold it against him. You can have a crush on him all you like but remember it’s just that, a crush, not a life sentence.”

There’s a silence and then, “when did you become so sensible?”

There’s a thud and a yelp and James says, “let’s go back inside, we have a long drive tomorrow-”

Remus scrambles around, hiding behind a bush.

“Isn’t it a shame that we never got to be friends?” Alfie says, walking away.

James sighs. “Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.”

The footsteps get lost in the distance but even then, he doesn’t come out. Remus stays there, knees close to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs, trying very hard not to feel like he just lost something important. Because in this timeline, he doesn’t get to know Alfie, he doesn’t get to be friends with him. He is a stranger and even though he knew all these things would happen when he got back, it hurts.

The worst part is, all of that was for nothing because Alfie is still sad and miserable and Remus wants to throw the stupid time-turner in the ocean.

He doesn’t, though. He holds it very tightly in his hand until it left marks on his fingertips. Remus tries to swallow the sour taste of misery in his mouth, knowing it does no good to dwell on things, but he can’t help but wonder, what good time does if he can’t protect the heart of someone he cares about.

* * *

Eventually, Remus stands up. He feels numb and aches all over, he goes inside the house and inside the cupboard.

Remus goes back. He changes everything to the way it was supposed to be, the way it was before he went back and changed things with Alfie.

He tries really hard to not feel helpless.

He fails, miserably.

* * *

“Have a safe trip, querido, I packed you a light lunch for the ride, okay? Let James know when you arrived safe and sound.” Effie gives Alfie a bag that seems bigger than his head. Alfie takes it gratefully.

“I will, Mrs Potter, thank you,” he says, giving her another hug. Effie chuckles but holds him tightly.

Alfie puts the bag of food gently on the passenger seat, his luggage already on the trunk of the truck. James is in the driver's seat, the antlers of his bucket hat visibly over the other side, waiting for them to be done. Everyone already shared their goodbyes and good wishes. Everyone except Remus.

They stand in front of one another without saying anything.

Remus wants to apologize, he wants to tell him he didn’t know, he would have never left him hanging. Remus wants to say he likes him and he’s so happy to have him as a friend, that he doesn’t have many of those but he wants to keep him as such if he would let him. He hopes Alfie would let him.

He doesn’t voice any of this. Instead, he says, “goodbye, Alfie,” hoping it conveys what he can’t say out loud.

But somehow, Alfie knows. He smiles at him, a sweet little smile. “Goodbye, Remus.”

They hug tightly and something inside Remus loosens.

Without a second look, Alfie holds his backpack stripes harder and jumps on the passenger seat. James starts the truck and with a last wave from both of them, they drive away.

Only then, looking at the yellow truck getting lost in the distance, did Remus learn an important lesson: all the time travel in the world can’t prevent anyone from getting their heart broken.

Especially if you are the one who breaks it in the first place.

Chapter Text

Remus has never been good at saying goodbye.

Deep down, Remus knows that it is part of the human experience and he is— well, he has never been particularly good at being a human in the first place.

There’s also the fact that Remus believes they would be a lot easier if the thing that he’s leaving behind it’s something he doesn’t want to leave behind.

But maybe that's the point about goodbyes, you have to let go, even if that’s the last thing you want to do.

Like the only home he has ever known, for example.

He doesn’t know if it’s the smell of the jasmine blush in the garden, the mountain of fresh baked-goods that Monty makes when he’s stressed or the salty breeze of the ocean but Remus wants all of those smells to follow him wherever he goes.

Remus tries anyway.

It’s the day after Alfie goes away and Remus and James spend all morning making sure everything is packed —James is mostly running around the house picking last-minute items but as soon as the clock struck 10:45 am, they all gathered in the driveway. The suitcases and backpacks are already on the trunk of the truck with Monty in the driver’s seat ready to drop them at the train station.

Remus hugs every member of his family one by one, taking a bit longer with Pandora who doesn’t want to let him go.

Minnie gives him a pat on the back while Effie tells them about the little something she packs them for the trip. He says his goodbyes like he’s supposed to; he untangles himself out of his father’s arms without a second look and even chuckle when Dora flips him the bird when he looks back at them from the passenger’s seat.

Because yes, even when Remus is not good at saying goodbyes he will always try his best for them anyway.

And if, when the only family he has ever known became blurry dots on the horizon, and Remus' eyes happened to prickle at the corners and his chest felt somewhat tight—well, that’s just a small price he has to pay to make his loved ones feel at ease.

The drive to the station is fairly short. Monty leaves them with kisses on their foreheads and some pocket money; for emergencies, he says. James and Remus hug him and try to hold it together a bit longer, but when James sees his dad —a big man that somehow has always felt bigger than the whole sky— sniffing rather loudly, wiping his tears away with a handkerchief because he’s old fashioned that way, he crumbles alongside him.

Remus thinks of walking away to give them some space, but when James pulls him into their hug without a second thought, Remus goes easily.

The train ride from Cornwall to London is rather dull, they talk and eat what Effie made for them (tamales, Remus’ favourites) and afterwards, they relax a little, Remus picking up a book while James takes a kip.

It doesn’t take long before James’ head lolls to the side, landing on Remus’ shoulder. As easy as breathing, Remus transfers his book from one hand to the other doing as little movement as he can, trying not to disrupt James’ sleep, not even when he starts to drool.

By the time they arrive, Remus is completely knackered. He doesn’t pay attention to his surroundings, moving almost automatically, taking his luggage and walking towards the platform to take the tube onto his final destination. If it wasn’t for James calling his name, he would’ve continued walking straight forward. When Remus turns around, is the miserable experession on his best friend's face that make his stomach sink.

Because no matter how much Remus has tried to avoid this very moment, the reality of the situation finally has caught up to him.

James is not coming with Remus.

He has been trying so hard to keep it together the whole trip, trying to remain oblivious to the whole ordeal but that is not sustainable anymore, the inevitability of the situation is finally catching up to him because this is where their paths differ.

He wants to wait until James goes away but they both know he can’t, James needs to do this on his own and Remus needs to get to his own destination. He is aware he needs to let James go but his feet refuse to move.

Because, at the heart of it, Remus doesn’t know how to do goodbyes.

He knows how to say it, knows how the words feel around his teeth and what sounds are supposed to make. He knows how to perform them, how to shape himself around other people’s sadness even when he doesn’t know the edges of his own.

He’s a grown man who doesn’t know how to perform one of the most humane actions in history.

Not even when he went away for Uni. He always knew when he would come back, he had the dates marked in his calendar and was back home for the weekends, it was manageable back then, with James by his side oh top of everything else. If he missed home, all he had to do was convince James to visit him —not that it took much convincing, James practically had half of his stuff at Remus’, and he never had to feel homesick.

But this... This is something entirely different, isn’t it?

James knows, of course he does. “Remus.”

“I know,” he says despite not actually knowing what he’s supposed to do next so he stays rooted on the spot. James sighs.

“Remus,” and now Remus feels annoyance creeping at the back of his head.

“I know, James,” he looks away, changing the weight from one foot to the other but still doesn’t move any closer. He can’t, why can't James see how hard this is for him?

And isn’t that just bullshit? In fact, James is the only one who gets how hard it actually is, he’s leaving Remus as much as Remus is leaving him.

“Remus,” He looks back at him, James’ eyes full of sadness. “I have to go.”

No, no. Remus shakes his head, James can’t expect him to— “James, no, you can’t—”

The words get stuck in his throat because he knows James can and will, Remus is the one being unreasonable here. And a hypocrite on top of that. Rather childish of him, really, to be acting this way, but he can’t help it. He just grips his backpack stripes harder until his knuckles turn white.

And then, strong arms embrace him from behind. It’s a little awkward position with the backpack in the way but that doesn’t prevent him from sagging against James' chest, a lump forming in his throat. Remus is not ready to turn and look at him, he is not ready to say goodbye to his best friend.

He can feel the knowing prickle of his eyes and without looking at his face, Remus turns around and hugs James properly.

They stay that way for as long as they can slow down their little ticking clock, trying to sink into each other’s embrace, the warm feeling of care enveloping them. Remus’ arms are already crammed from holding the same position tightly and yet he refuses to let go first. He rather let his arms fall off than let James go.

But he has to, he needs to. If not for him, for James’ sake, his future is waiting for him on the other side of the ocean.

James let go first. He knows Remus too well.

“James,” he sniffs rather loudly and chuckles wetly.

James' smile is watery. “I know.” He his sniffing too, “I really have to go now. Run, actually,” Remus can only nod.

“I know,” and he does.

He takes James’ handkerchief when he offers it to Remus.

He rolls his eyes, amused despite himself when James only grins at him knowingly. Remus always teases James that he’s a grandpa or that he jumps between a ten-year-old kid and a sixty-year-old man and James cackles every time.

James wiggles his eyebrows at him, daring him to point out now that Remus seems to be benefiting from his old fashioned ways. Remus only shoves him a little and takes the backpack wherever he dropped it and the suitcase handle.

“Don’t forget to call,” he reminds James and the latter chuckles.

“I could never,” he says and for a moment his smile falters, looking uncertain and afraid all of the sudden. Remus knows James has been trying to put on a brave face for his sake but it’s clear he’s just as afraid of the situation as Remus is, so now it’s his time to be brave for James.

He squeezes James’ arm, reassuringly.

“You’re going to do great James, it’s alright,” and James nods, believing Remus' words instantly. Remus would never lie to him, not about this, and he knows it.

With one last quick hug, James turns around and goes away. Remus only waits a few seconds before turning around again and this time, he doesn’t look back.

* * *

Remus has been standing in front of an old ugly-looking door for the past five minutes.

His palms are sweating and he’s really tired, the big suitcase waiting on his right side and the backpack stripes are numbing his circulation. After the ordeal it was moving through London with a suitcase half his size and a heavy backpack constricting his shoulders, all Remus wants to do now is eat something and sleep for eight hours straight. Maybe just the latter.

The problem seems to be that nobody is home.

After trying to navigate this part of the city for the past half hour —all the houses look the same, sue him— he finally gets to his destination. Relief is short-lived however when, after ringing the bell twice and waiting a full three minutes for someone to open the door, nobody answers.

Taking a step back, looking between the plaque at the side of the door and the wrinkled piece of paper he’s holding in his right hand, he doesn’t understand what the problem seems to be. The neat handwriting confirms that yes, that’s the house he’s looking for. Maybe there aren't expecting him today?

Remus has been waiting outside this whole time, trying to be gracious and waiting for the owner’s return. But his socks are really fucking damp and he’s back is killing him so with a silent apology to Minnie, Remus decides he has had enough.

So he just bangs at the door.

Rather rude, he’s aware but nobody answered when he first knocked so he isn’t taking any chances, in case he wasn’t heard the first time. And ah, there it is, success! He stops the banging when he hears heavy steps coming from inside.

A few beats later, a man opens the door.

Remus isn’t cowed by many things, but the way this man is looking at him almost makes him take a step back. Almost. He doesn’t, he just holds the man's stare as long as it would take for the man to let him in. Neither of them speaks for a minute, assessing each other in shared silence.

And then, holding Remus’ gaze, the person in front of him opens his mouth.

“Who the fuck are you?" Alastor Moody snarls, words dripping with such disdain Remus instinctively grips his backpack straps tighter.

“I'm Remus Lupin, sir." He managed to say in a polite tone.

“Am I supposed to recognize you, celebrity?" Moody frowns, crossing his arms over his chest. “I would still tell you to get the hell out of my property even if you were the bloody Queen of England herself."

Remus wonders how Minnie could be acquaintances —let alone friends— with someone as obnoxious as the man in front of him.

“Aren’t you Alastor Moody?” He tries very hard not to grit his teeth when the man just scowls at him. “I'm Minerva McGonagall's nephew, sir. I was under the impression she told you I was coming? I assumed you were aware."

The man takes a long look at Remus, taking a deep drag of the cigarette that's hanging precariously off his lips. “Well, kid, you know what they say about people who assume."

Remus decides to humor him. “And what's that?"

“That they can fuck right off," Moody spits out before slamming the door in Remus' face.

Remus crumples the paper in his hand so hard his nails dig on his palm. He’s two seconds away from turning around and leave but he doesn’t have the luxury to tell the man to fuck off and go somewhere else.

Taking a deep breath (or several but who’s counting?) Remus knocks again for a straight thirty seconds until the heavy steps return accompanied with some grumble and if he wasn’t pissed off about the whole thing, he would be kinda amused by this man’s theatrics.

“You again,” Moody looks at him with poorly concealed disdain. “Can’t take a hint to save your life, can you kid?”

“That was a hint? I just assumed Londoners had no manners.”

Moody chuckles against his will and he doesn’t say anything, only looks him up and down for a moment, assessing him, before huffing and going inside the house, door open.

Holding his suitcase in one hand and the backpack in the other, Remus goes in.

The place is good, spacious, a privilege most people can’t afford in a city like this, which makes Remus wonder what Moody does for a living. Minnie vaguely told him he was a popular writer back in the day. Remus couldn’t see it until he stepped into his studio. It has big posters of his covers and some pictures of famous people. He even has a shelf with some awards, which is more than he expected.

Remus tries to get closer to them when he fills a tug from his backpack which makes him reel back behind.

“That’s none of your business, kid,” Moody grunts herding Remus upstairs, supposedly to the room that he’s going to stay in for the duration of the school year.

“So you are Minerva’s nephew,” ah, chit chat, just what Remus excels at (kill him).

The steps crick under him. “Yes.”

“So how is she? Still looking like she could kick my ass?” The stairs are narrow and Remus is trying hard to ignore getting a full face of Alastor’s rearback.

“Pretty much so, yeah.”

Moody hums, approvingly. “Sweet.”

Remus tries very hard not to gag.

They stop on the third floor where there are only two doors, one at the end of the hall, and the other has a big wood letter “A” nailed in the front. They stopped in the latter. “Your bathroom is the door at the end of the hall and this one is your room.” Moody fishes out a key from his cargo shorts and opens the door, ushering him inside to the ugliest looking room Remus has ever seen.

Orange wallpaper that seems to be peeling off in some parts, a double bed with a red checkers duvet and on the opposite wall. The only thing that seemed out of place in a bunch of orange and red is a wall full of posters of different rock bands and artists next to a —is that a saxophone?

“Whose room was this?” Remus asks, glancing back at the letter on the door, a curious lilt on his voice.

“None of your business tweedle dee.” Moody grunts, throwing something at Remus that he barely catches, a keychain. “Here’s the key to the room and a spare key to the front door, I don’t give a fuck when you get in or get out but no loud sex, got it?”

Remus blushes against his will. “Oh, no, I don’t— I’ve never—”

“Oh great, two losers under one roof,” Moody grumbles, already heading back downstairs, leaving a flustered Remus spluttering in the tangerine room.

And look, he didn’t have high expectations about the place, Minnie didn’t look particularly keen to this arrangement either. But despite a terrible attitude and an obnoxious personality, Alastor Moody was the closest he could get as someone ‘trustworthy’ in London. So either he sucked it up or fend for himself.

Remus sits on the bed and takes it all in.

He feels tired and sore on the shoulders from carrying a heavy backpack but, overall, he’s doing okay. Taking a deep breath, he stands up, puts the suitcase on the mattress and starts unpacking. Better not delay the inevitable, right?

The first thing he sees as soon as he opens it are two envelopes at the top of his clothes. One of them has some smudges of paint all over it which means most likely the person sealing the envelope had paint on their fingers. The other one has lightning mcqueen pop-up stickers.

Eagerly, he opens the one with the paint smudges and he feels his breath catching a little.

It’s a painting of them in the garden, the house behind. A sunny day, Remus notices.

Those are the best kind of days, James always say.

Minnie is sitting on a chair, writing and drinking tea. Effie is besides her, embroidering. Hope is harvesting not far away, with her favourite hat on top of her head. Monty is on the other side of the table, with a rubik’s cube in hand and a thoughtful expression on his face. Lyall is on a rocking chair, reading a book. James is hiding behind the jasmine bush with a water gun much like Pandora who has a similar one in her hand, looking suspiciously at the bush where James is hiding. And Remus— he is with his back against the trunk of a tree, knees to his chest, looking wistfully at the ocean.

And just at the left bottom corner, in a swift handwriting: for rainy days.

Remus doesn’t notice he’s crying until a tear falls on the letters.

He rubs his eyes and takes a shaky breath. Remus leaves the painting beside him on the bed and opens the pop-up stickers envelope, James’ letter.

Remus,

I want to start this by saying that I stole some of your jumpers. I also stole some of Dora’s jackets and I don’t regret a single thing, but don’t you worry about it because I sneak some of my hoodies in your suitcase so you’re welcome.

When you read this you will probably be in your new room, how is it? Would you tell me everything when I go visit? You’ll have to show me around.

At the time I’m writing this I saw you 20 minutes ago, but that doesn’t stop me from missing you already. You know I’m not good at this but I’m trying because this is going to be the first time that we will be truly apart for a really long time. I know we will probably be busy from now on but I’ll always have time for you. I’ll be visiting you when you least expect it, I promise.

In the meantime, I’m leaving you a little something for when everything feels a little too much so you can feel I’m right there with you.

Even if you can’t hear me, I’ll be howling at the moon for you.

Con cariño,

James

At the bottom of the envelope, there’s a little silver ring with a full moon that spins. It fits his thumb perfectly.

Remus thought he handled the goodbye stuff well. But that was then and frankly, everything has a limit and to Remus, turns out said limit are his sappy siblings.

Tiredness seeped into his bones, the day finally catching up to him and something’s gotta give.

At the twentieth hour of the first of September of two thousand and twelve, somewhere in London, everything falls apart for one Remus Lupin.

The night finds him alone, curled up in an unfamiliar bed, in a room that isn’t his, suitcase still unpacked and stomach cramping from lack of food. Remus cries for what seems like hours until he falls asleep in between the tokens of love of the only people he ever cared about.

No one ever told him growing up would hurt this much.

* * *

If Remus were to describe his first weekend sharing a flat with Alastor Moody, he would say… Surprisingly bearable.

He mostly keeps to his own and Remus is grateful for that. They navigate around each other and try not to disturb the other’s space and that works fine for him. But even without addressing each other, Remus picked up a few things about his… Flatmate? Landlord? Whatever the hell that man was.

One thing was for certain, Moody was indeed a famous theatre writer. He pay more attention at the playbills framed across the wall, alongside a table full of old scripts, a few awards and pictures with different celebrities laying around the table.

He also noticed the few sprawled bottles of different liquors across the floor —not that Remus didn’t notice before how the man seemed to sway a little on his feet and had a very strong smell of bourbon, but the confirmation didn’t quite make him feel at ease.

The most important discovery however, didn’t come from his studio, but from Remus’ own room.

He knows he can’t change the orange wallpaper or throw down the band posters (he kinda liked those, actually), but what he can do is change that horrendous duvet. So that’s what he does. He goes to Tesco on Sunday morning and buys some new sheets and a different duvet among food and other essential things.

It’s a good thing that James was true to his word and taught him the basics about food and how not to starve. He was concerned Remus would survive only with toast and instant noodles (he wasn’t wrong, though) so his rundown was welcome and now Remus felt well equipped in how to shop to survive adulthood.

Groceries stored in the fridge and sheets freshly changed, Remus opens the closet to hide that hideous duvent when he finds a box at the back full of clothes and trinkets. He’s not meant to look, really, he is not, but the photograph that sticks out at the top of the pile takes his attention.

It’s a younger Moody, smiling next to a beautiful woman. It looks like they’re in a park and over Moody’s shoulders is a little girl smiling brightly at the camera, she’s missing a tooth. They look happy, Remus notices. There’s no name, no date at the back, nothing.

Moody never mentioned he had a wife or a kid. Maybe he was divorced? Widowed? Looking around the room it was obvious it was someone else’s space but he didn’t really think too much of it. Remus was not one to pry, and he didn’t want to get on the man’s wrong side so he put the picture back on the box, put the duvet over the box and let it be.

The skeletons in other people’s closets are none of Remus’ business.

* * *

Remus tries not to sicken up in the middle of the sidewalk.

He’s one street away from the entrance of the school and Remus can see the kids going inside, the first day of school is always chaotic. He holds the fried edges of his school bag tighter as he takes a deep breath, looking around, wondering if someone saw him hyperventilating near a bush. No one is paying attention to him, actually, all the parents are herding his kids towards the big old stairs at the entrance as they pass him by.

Hogwarts School it’s a big private school hosted in one of those mid-century castles, bigger than anywhere Remus has been before. With big arches in the entrance and long halls, Hogwarts feels beautiful and daunting at the same time but Remus has prepared so long for this he knows he can do it.

With that in mind, Remus swallows his discomfort and goes inside.

If the outside looks daunting, the inside is worse. The school is all wide endless corridors, big tall double doors and arched ceilings; the flow of students is something that surprises him but it shouldn’t, really. He knows that is because it houses every year until sixth form so it’s normal that there’s a sea of kids of various ranges of age.

That’s mostly a good thing since their chatter seems to fill every cranny of the old castle which surprisingly, makes it less spooky and he is glad for that.

With every turn he takes just to get to the administration office, Remus mentally thanks himself for memorising the layout of the school the week before. Because if he hadn’t, he’s sure he would be lost already.

“Hello! Are you lost, sweetheart?” A voice comes behind him and Remus turns around. The woman looks around Minnie’s age, she’s wearing colorful scrubs and a bunch of folders in her hands, so Remus assumes she’s the school nurse. And yet with a warm smile and cat framed glasses, she looks very welcoming and all around happy to help someone lost. Which Remus isn't.

Oh well, this is awkward. “Ah, thank you but, you see, I’m not actually lo—”

The lady just squeezes his shoulder. “First day, huh? That’s alright, I can take you to the administration office right this way, come,” and she walks away expecting Remus to follow her. He does, of course.

They arrive at the administration room and look at the movement inside. It’s full of people at the moment, being the first day of school and all, Remus assumes it’s to be expected. As soon as they arrive, the lady walks straight to the woman behind the front desk.

“Good morning Sonny, good summer?”

The woman behind the desk looks up, a smile spreading on her face as soon as her eyes land on the lady beside Remus. “Poppy! Good morning! Ugh, I was stuck most of it with my sister, that old bat almost drove me to insanity. How was yours? What were you up to?”

The woman—Poppy— smiles at her in return though hers is more reserved. “It was okay, I did some gardening, volunteered at the shelter, same old same old.”

Sonny shakes her head completely ignoring Remus’ existence, his sole attention on Poppy.

“Oh! Oh, gardening. And you're name after a flower, how clever!” The woman giggles. “I don’t know how you do all of those things, Poppy. I know you are booked with your patients when you’re not in season but look at you, you’re such a handy woman,” and then, she leans forward, showing up way more cleavage than Remus is expecting of a woman thrice his age. “You know, I’m not really good with plants and my flowers are withering, you see. So darling, if you are free, my garden needs some tending…”

Out of all the things he would’ve expected from coming to work here, sex innuendos at seven in the morning are the last thing he would’ve expected.

With her free hand, Poppy pushes Remus in front of her with more force than he was expecting from someone so small.

“Sonny, I found this handsome gentleman lost in the halls, maybe you can help him?”

The woman blinks harshly, noticing Remus for the first time since the whole conversation started. She nods, smiling at him.

“Oh yes! I have your arrival here on my sheet, you must be our new Year Five teacher, Professor…”

“Lupin, Remus Lupin.” the woman flicks through the sheets on her paper holder.

“Ah, yes!” The lady seems to catch something in the paper, pointing a finger at it. “Here you are, dear. You can go inside the principal’s office in a moment and then you can start your classes, but first I’ll need you to sign some sheets and you’ll be ready to go!”

Remus nods, feeling a bit like they’re rushing through the morning already.

“So, about the gardening,” the woman starts, moving her head trying to look at Poppy who’s still behind Remus.

“Oh, would you look at the time? I got to go Sunny, but maybe we can talk about it later?” Poppy says from behind Remus, squeezing his arm when he turns to look at her. “Have a good first day Professor Lupin, if you need anything you can drop at the infirmary any time.” She smiles and lets him go, not before nodding at the lady behind the desk, “bye Sonny!” And without expecting a response, she’s off.

“Er… I’m done.” Remus pushes the papers towards the woman.

The lady blinks. “What? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Thank you, take a seat Professor Lupin, you’ll go in a moment.” Sonny motions at the row of chairs outside an office but actually looking at the door where Poppy walked away. Wisely Remus does not comment on it and just goes to sit. The last thing he needs is to get involved in a one sided office crush.

It’s barely been five minutes when the double doors open to show the man Remus is waiting for.

“Remus Lupin,” the man greets, holding out his hand for Remus to take. He does so, shaking it once. “I’m Principal Dumbledore, it's a pleasure to meet you.”

The man looks around his late seventies, way older than Minnie that’s for sure and yet, there is something youthful about him. Maybe the crinkle around his eyes, the long white beard resembling a British Santa or maybe it is the warm smile he gives Remus.

Perhaps it’s the way he holds himself; he exudes openness and easiness. It’s certainly a quality any principal must achieve in order to look approachable and yet stern, the kind of thing that would make you want to do as he says. Kind of dangerous, if you really think about it.

Remus drops his hand. “The pleasure is mine, sir. I hope it is not too late?”

The man hums. “Not at all Professor Lupin, in fact, you are right on time. Please, come on in,” Principal Dumbledore steps aside and Remus walks inside towards the double chairs in front of a big desk. The principal walks around the desk to sit behind it. He gives Remus a warm smile.

“I always tend to hold these meetings with new professors to get to know them a little bit better and to ask them how they feel, I think it is important to have these spaces where your staff feels secure and seen.” The man smiles at him. “Anything you need, please, don’t hesitate to come to me, my door is always open for my staff.”

“Thank you, Principal Dumbledore,” Remus nods, feeling more at ease.

“Please, Professor Lupin, call me Professor.”

“Alright,” Remus nods.

“Lemon drop, Professor Lupin?” Professor Dumbledore points at a bow of yellow wrapped candy. Remus takes one, it would be rude not to, and promptly pops it in his mouth. He makes a face. Yeah, now he knows why they call it lemon drop.

Professor Dumbledore looks amused. “First impressions, Professor Lupin?”

“Too sour for my liking,” Remus tries to swallow the hard candy. “Or did you mean about the city? Well, I still don’t know how to use the tube,” he admits and then scrunches his nose. “And everything smells funny.”

The Principal laughs, big and rich.

“Oh, Professor Lupin, I find you so refreshing.” The skin around his eyes crinkle when he smiles at Remus. “I apologise for not being specific. What I meant was, what are your first impressions about the school?”

“Oh,” Remus’ cheeks feel very warm all of the sudden. “Er— It’s big.”

“I’m sure you will get the hang of it in no time. I actually wanted to give you the tour around myself, so you can get accustomed but I forgot I have a meeting with the board so I will have to cut our meeting short. Worry not Professor Lupin as I have someone who can fill in for me and help you around,” Professor Dumbledore looks at his wrist watch. “I’m sure she’s almost here.”

On cue, a knock on the door and not longer after, a head pokes out.

“Did you want to see me, Professor Dumbledore?” the woman asks, surveilling the office before his eyes land on Remus for a second before looking back at the principal.

“Right on time as always, Ms Evans. Please, come on in, I would like to introduce you to someone,” Professor Dumbledore rises from his seat as the woman walks inside. Remus does the same as the Principal.

“Remus Lupin, this is Lily Evans, she teaches Year Six. She’s going to fill in for me right now to show you around,” Professor Dumbledore explains.

The woman must be around Remus’ age, shorter than him, her red hair is in a french braid and even if she’s smiling, warm and welcoming, Remus can see the authority she possesses.

She holds her hand for Remus to shake. “Nice to meet you Professor Lupin. You are teaching Year Five, yes?”

Remus nods, shaking her hand.

“Great, let me introduce you to some of the staff here,” she walks back outside waiting for Remus to follow her.

“Thank you for your time, Professor Dumbledore,” Remus excuses himself, shaking the man’s hand again.

The professor takes his hand between both of his, smiling at Remus warmingly, he squeezes them once before letting it go. “Anytime, Professor Lupin, have a great first day.”

Outside, Remus finds Lily waiting for him at the front desk.

“Ready to go?” She’s signing some papers before pushing them back at Sonny behind the desk who only smiles at Remus before busying herself with paperwork. “We have around eight minutes before we both have to go to class, ready for the tour?”

“Actually I’m good,” Remus says, instead of I already memorized the school layout so there’s no need, which he knows will grant him more questions he doesn’t feel like answering.

“Are you sure?” Lily asks, doubtful.

Remus nods. “I would like to go to my classroom to prepare for the day, if that’s at all possible.”

Lily seems taken by surprise but, at the end, she relents. “Alright, but before I accompany you to your classroom, I would like to introduce you to the staff.” she holds a hand to the lady behind the desk, “this is Sonny but you probably already met her, and the one near the coffee machine is Tania though I wouldn’t recommend asking her anything before at least her second cup…”

Lily goes and introduces him to everyone there. Remus knows she means well and all but if he’s honest, he barely pays attention to the faces and names. Remus feels overwhelmed and ready to run out of there, thinking how pointless it is to make acquaintance with people he’s not going to be friends with. Which, if he were to say this out loud he would probably get some scalding looks all around but no one is privy to his head so he can think what he wants.

After introductions have been done, Remus has barely enough time to get to his classroom which is on the other side of the castle. He’s power walking through the halls that Lily has to basically run to catch up with his long steps. Remus doesn’t mean to do that but he’s in a hurry and honestly quite annoyed at the situation. He lost important minutes to prepare himself and now he’s going to enter a class that’s already filled out.

“This is your classroom Remus, anything else you need you can ask me, I’m two rooms down from yours, alright?” Despite having to basically run, she doesn’t look frazzled, she smiles encouragingly at Remus and leaves him to fend for himself in a room full of ten year old.

Remus brace himself, taking a deep breath before entering his classroom.

“Good morning class,” he reaches his desk, leaving his bag on the chair and turning around to address his class. Big curious gazes are on him and Remus feels the metaphorical breath being held. “I’m Professor Remus Lupin but you can call me Professor Lupin. Welcome to Year Five.”

Remus might not know things about the world, about London, about how to be an adult but if there’s one thing he knows best, it is teaching.

The words are pouring out of his mouth like he was meant for this job. He feels at ease here. But above all, he likes doing this. He likes talking with little humans, to see what they see. The yelling might not be his favourite part but Remus can say with absolute certainty that this is what he’s meant to be doing with his life.

Maybe, in the future, he might teach another year but for now, ten year old are what he can handle.

The morning went better than he expected. No one started a fight or ate something they shouldn’t which he counts as a success. At recess, when the kids are out on the patio, he decides to eat his lunch in his classroom. A modest cheese bread with grapes, a granola bar and his tea. Nothing better, if you ask him.

He’s halfway down his lunch when he hears a knock on the door.

“Hey,” a man is standing on the threshold, waving a hand at Remus. “Remus, right? I’m Peter, your neighbour to the right. Can I come in?”

The man is holding his own lunch box between his hands. Remus nods.

“Hello, er, yes, come on in,” he motions to a folder chair behind the door and Peter takes it, sitting opposite Remus.

“You’re new here, right?” Peter asks, taking his food out of the lunchbox. “How’s your first day going?”

Remus shrugs. “As well as expected.” He takes a grape out of the container, “the kids were really sweet, asking me a lot of questions. Until a girl named Donna asked if I was fifty.”

Peter chuckles, digging into his chicken Alfredo. “At least they haven’t asked you if you’re married.”

“Oh they have,” he smiles at the memory, “but I said I wasn’t.”

“Wrong move Remus, they’re going to start pairing you off with every single teacher here.” Peter tuts, looking at him. “Last year, I got paired with the school nurse for half the year just because I went to ask for some Ibuprofen and a kid saw it.”

Remus tries to hide his smile. “You got paired with Poppy?”

“No, she’s the school head nurse, I’m talking about assistant nurse Crouch. Handsome man around our age? Full of tattoos? Has a green highlight on his hair?”

“Can’t say that I’ve met him yet, no.” Remus says, munching on a granola bar.

“Well, he’s alright. He might look mean with his tattoos and all but I’ve seen him more than twice letting the kids paint them when they’re at the infirmary. He always gives them candy when they behave, he gives them two when they misbehave. It drives Poppy up the wall. Too much sugar and all that.”

Remus chuckles, sugar and kids are never a good combination.

Peter stabs a chicken with his fork. “But I mean, kids always pair everyone with anyone, really. I think Professor Vance, who teaches Year Three, is going to get the same treatment this year.”

“Oh so the kids are leaving you alone this year?”

Peter chuckles, shaking his head. “You would think so, with the new school year and all. But I saw one of my kids from last year and he gave me a knowing look so I wouldn’t be so sure. Good thing Barty took it well, he knows how the kids are.”

By the light blush on Peter’s face, maybe the kids weren’t that far off.

“So, enough about me,” Peter waves his hand, biting a piece of chicken. “Tell me about you, are you from here?”

“From Halzar, I got here on Saturday.” Remus explains. “It has been a little chaotic but alright, I guess.”

“That’s good. Did Professor Dumbledore give you the tour or did Lily?”

“Lily, actually —wait, you too? I thought she did it only because Professor Dumbledore was busy,” Remus is shocked by this revelation.

“He’s always busy. Lily got here at the beginning of last term and I got here at the beginning of the year so she has more time here.” Peter explains. “I didn’t mind, she showed me where the restrooms were, otherwise I know for a fact it would’ve taken me at least a week to figure that out. This place is huge, Remus, I would’ve lost myself.”

“It is.” Remus agrees.

“Did you find the tour helpful?”

“I, er, I actually memorized the castle layout before coming here.”

He stills, for a moment. Waiting to see if Peters gives him one of those looks that he thinks Remus is weird. But he doesn’t, instead, he looks kind of… Impressed?

“You really are prepared, Lupin.” Peter nods, approvingly. “Better to be safe than sorry, that’s what my gran always used to say,” he opens a bag of crisps, and offers one to Remus but he keeps taking. “Hey, you know who I actually think has something going on? Poppy and Sonny. But I think it is one-sided, Sonny has been trying to get Poppy all year.”

And that little gesture is what makes Remus consider Peter a future ally in this new scenario. Maybe it is not that big of a deal, a little bit of gossip, a salt and vinegar bag of crisps (Remus’ favourites) and yet, it feels important. He takes one chip before he talks.

“Got that one rumour first-hand, actually. She was talking about Poppy withering flowers and something about tending to her garden. You don't think her garden is that bad, do you?"

Peter cackles can be heard from outside Remus’ classroom.

"Are we talking about Sonny's sex innuendos?" A voice comes from the open door.

Lily Evans is standing there, a lunch box in one hand an a thermos in another. "Mind if I join you, guys?"

Peter beckons her to come inside. "Right on time, Lils. I was just catching Remus up with all the lore from around here so it doesn't catch him off hand."

"Too right." Lily agrees while sitting on the chair Remus pulled up for her. "Us new teachers have to stick together."

She then looks at Peter and then back at Remus, a mischievous smile on her face. "Remus, do you want to know about that one time Peter fell on nurse Crouch's lap and he blushed so hard Barty had to take him to the infirmary?"

"It was an accident!" Peter splutters.

Lily hums, stealing a salt vinegar chip from him. "Sure it was."

The lunch hour passes so quickly Remus barely notices, too engrossed in everything Lily and Peter are telling him; It takes more that one lunch break for them to catch up Remus is all he didn't know he has been missing about the school, the other professors, the kids, the food in the cafeteria.

It good and it's easy and it makes Remus feels hopeful. Not only about the job but about himself, in this new space he was learning how to navigate.

After all, a goodbye is just a new beginning in disguise.

Chapter Text

Remus is sick.

Not only in the medical sense —he has a terrible stomach bug which is just what it is— but in the real life sense too. He's sick of everyone and everything but mostly he's sick of himself because, after a few months living on his own, Remus Lupin has come to the terrible realization that he hates living away from home.

And it's not only that he misses his family terribly. Oh no, it’s everything else too.

It's the way he misses laying on the sofa, listening to Minnie reading out loud whenever she was in the mood; it's the way he used to be able to go to The Borrow and Molly would smile at him and she would say "well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes, darling?" sneaking him a biscuit in his bag; it's the way he could stay up for hours just stargazing, the sound of the waves crashing in the distance, lulling him to sleep.

But now? Now, Remus can’t get more than five hours, if he's lucky.

Calling home helped most of the time, which was usually every third day or so, just so he could hear the voices of the people he missed the most. It was nice at the beginning, when he craved that closeness more than ever, but it eventually had the opposite effect. After those calls, Remus used to lay down on his bed, starring at the void, misery making a place in between one breath and the next.

On the bad days, he didn’t even want to pick up the phone, already feeling like a burden. On the worst days… Remus didn’t speak at all.

James was like a lighthouse in the middle of a tempest.

He called Remus almost every night in those first few weeks. There were times when both of them were exhausted to the very bones after a long day, neither of them feeling like talking. None of that stopped them whatsoever, as they places the phones close to their faces, letting the other’s breathing lull them to sleep.

James inadvertently kept Remus afloat, making him feel less lonely which he desperately needed, especially because he hadn’t made any friends at work.

Well no, that wasn't completely true; there were Peter and Lily, with whom he formed an alliance of sorts, where they vent about their day or their other coworkers which was very nice. But even when he did prefer them over his other coworkers, he wasn't sure if they were friends.

Yes, he had lunch with them every day and he helped Peter with some of his paperwork as well as covering for Lily when she had an emergency, but that didn't automatically mean they were friends… Right?

Remus didn't want to presume, that's all.

The work was good, if a bit taxing. Most of his kids were very outgoing, talkative and with a lot of energy—although that last bit might have something to do with them being, well, kids, rather than something about their personality.

And since this was Remus’ first adult job (he doesn’t think his weekends helping at the local bookstore back at home counts as real work) he got tired pretty easily. The constant exposure to a lot of different noises made him feel a bit mad sometimes.

Despite all of his preparation and the expectations he had about this job, the reality was more vibrant and unexpected. Even if he could managed most of the time, they were moments where Remus felt so overwhelm that it had him questioning if he was really cut out for this job.

That first month was the hardest for him.

And at some point during those first few weeks, Remus found himself sitting on the floor behind his desk with his class on the other side being a little too much for him to handle. He remembers feeling embarrassment crawling over his face and a sickening sensation at the pit of his stomach as he couldn't hide the thought that he was hiding from them.

He wasn't, at least not consciously. He just needed a moment to gathered his thoughts and just breathe.

Yet, the kids showed him something adults rarely knew how to give—compassion.

They sensed that he was on the verge of going into a full meltdown and like a switch turn off, the chatter quieted down. They were still loud, as kids were, but so well-behaved and patient that gave Remus time to gather his bearings. Afterwards, his class tried to be on their best behaviour— it was very sweet to witness.

The wonderful thing was, they behaved like that almost every day since. Attentive, kind, respectful. They were so attentive, even when he was talking about boring things, they volunteer whenever Remus asked for someone to help him with different activities for the class and some kids even gifted him some drawings that he still keeps on the wall behind his desk.

It was a kindness Remus was lucky enough to be granted.

The kids, however incredible, weren’t enough to manage a whole other aspect of being a teacher: Socializing with other adults.

Since day one Remus had stick to his classroom and little else. James always bugged him about how he should try and, in his words, mingle. See why he doesn't listen to him? He also said that Peter and Lily were his friends but honestly, with words like mingle how should Remus could take him seriously?

In any case, the year was almost over and he hasn’t braved himself yet to try the teacher’s lunchroom and he doesn't think he will. Peter always insists on it but Remus is not easily swayed.

He could've kept going like this for the rest of the school year without a problem if it wasn't for the fact that his kids started to notice his lack of socialization.

“Professor Lupin?”

“Yes, Susan?”

“Why are you always alone?” And well, if that wasn’t the story of his life.

He stops writing on the board and turns to address the little girl. “What makes you think I’m alone?”

The girl shrugs, like it's obvious. “You are always here, even when it’s lunch time.”

“Well, I like my classroom.” The little frown in that kid’s face lets Remus know she isn’t convinced.

“Don’t you like the other teachers?”

Remus sighs, putting the marker down. “It’s nothing like that, Susan, I just… I haven’t given them a chance to get to know me, I suppose. Besides,between us,” he leans like he’s about to tell a secret for the whole class to listen, “being the new person in a place is kind of scary, don’t you agree?”

The kids nod in agreement.

“You need a friend.” A kid further down the class —Terry— intervenes. “Professor Pettigrew is alright.”

Remus’ lips twitch. “Yeah, you think so?”

Terry seems to be considering it, the little menace. “Nah, he’s kind of boring, actually. I think you’ll like him.”

"I do like him. We have lunch almost every day."

"Oh… Sorry about that."

The little conversation makes Remus and Peter laugh for a long time during their lunch break that day.

Maybe his kids are onto something, he should make friends but he doesn’t think it will work, he can barely be friends with his landlord as it is.

Moody is a shitty landlord, for starters. The place is falling apart and he doesn’t give a shit that Remus almost burned himself multiple times with the stove. The man is too busy trying to be the next great screenwriter or something. For what Remus has gathered these past few weeks, Moody has been writing a play that he has been in the making for the better part of seven years.

Remus doubts he will ever see it come to fruition, as the man is more often sleep than awake; always drunk out of his mind, secluded away in his studio and playing jazz on his old record player.

They don’t talk much, keeping the unspoken truce they make the first day about not getting into each other’s business. But even Remus who doesn't usually notices most things, can tell the man is clearly depressed, barely going out or caring about his well being. It’s sad, especially knowing he most likely has a family somewhere and he’s here, alone. Remus can find certain camaraderie in that.

There are times when he feels bad enough that he leaves something on the counter for Moody to eat. It’s not much, but it’s what he can give him at the moment, and when he gets back from work and sees the plate empty, it's like a small win. And then he realizes the plate is empty and dirty, because the man couldn't be bother to wash it, and all he wants is to throw the plate at Moody’s head.

However insufferable that man is, that's not the reason Remus is still in bed at three in the afternoon on a Thursday.

Remus is pretty sure it was that orange chicken he had last night that got him food poisoning—the fridge was empty and he was hungry and desperate. Suddenly, the chicken around the corner from his house looked delicious.

He had to called in sick earlier the next morning.

He's been in bed all day, making nothing but pitiful noises at the back of his throat every time he moves from one position to the other. The only exception to this are his frequent trips to the bathroom, which only leaves him feeling like a rag-doll every time he comes back to bed.

If sickness makes you put things into perspective, then let's this be his realization: Remus is not ready to take care of himself. He thought he was. But he isn’t, not really, not when he is on the verge of flushing his bowels out in a fucking room with tangerine wallpaper.

That is not to say Remus has never been sick. He has, multiple times, actually. He's been personally victimized by allergies on multiple occasions and have always had a shameful stomach duress so he’s not a stranger to feeling like the restroom is his personal purgatory.

But every single one of those times, he has someone from his family by his side instead of a man twice his age with a terrible attitude.

He misses Effie’s ‘feel better’ broths, he misses his dad sitting next to him with a cold glass of water and read him out loud when Remus’ eyes feel to heavy to keep them open; he misses the way James would position fresh cloths on his forehead or dot on him in so many other ways because that’s what James does—a quality everyone in his family has one way or another, and Remus was lucky enough to be on the receiving end of that love.

And without realizing, Remus falls into an existential crisis, or dare he say, post-sickness clarity: what the hell is Remus doing there anyway.

His head is trying to grasp the reality he’s into, trying to make sense as of why he moved to the big city to work on a job with barely any friends, living in a four square feet room with tangerine wallpaper—and yes, he has to mention the wallpaper again because it's just that awful— with a man who doesn't give two fucks about him.

He misses his family, he misses his bedroom and he's two seconds away from crying in pain.

What a pitiful sight.

The stomach cramps return and Remus tries to breathe through the pain. He doesn't think he's doing that right but what does he know, really, he's not a doctor.

Maybe he should go to the doctor.

The ring of the doorbell interrupts his line of thought before he comes to a decision.

Remus frowns a little. It can't be Moody. He has keys, for once. He also left earlier that morning, something that doesn't happen often but Remus didn't have time to question it either on his way to the restroom.

He's not expecting anyone. For a brief moment, Remus considers ignoring it and burying himself in his duvet again.

The bell rings again, now more insistently.

He throws the quilt away and gets to his feet, groaning. Unhooking his indoor rob from the door, Remus braves the journey downstairs, each step creaking under his fuzzy slippers. Halfway through it, whoever that is at the door starts knocking, of all things. In a ironic turn of events, Remus finally understands Moody's less-than-amicable greeting back on the very first day they met. If only momentarily.

When Remus opens the door, ready to tell off the poor soul unfortunate enough to be on his doorstep at the moment, the only thing he manages to do is stare.

"Hello, Remus." Lily Evans smiles apologetically, standing at his doorstep. "Sorry we came here unannounced, but you didn't go to work today so we thought you might—"

"We?" Remus interrupts weakly.

"Yeah, we thought you could use some company too." Peter appears behind a bush at Lily's shoulder, with a bag of takeaway. "And that you were a bit hungry too, perhaps?"

He grimaces a little at the thought of food. "I, ah, I actually have a stomach bug…"

Lily shakes her head a little. "We know, we brought you something that won't upset your stomach. Some electrolytes too, because you must be dehydrated." She opens her bag, taking out some medicine and showing it to Remus. "We also bought some over-the-counter medicines to take some of the pain away." Lily cuts of his rambling, a tint of red adorning her cheeks. "I like to be prepared."

Remus doesn't know what to say, of if there is anything to say, really. He's— surprise might be a word he would use, touched is the other. And yet, Remus finds himself with only one word nagging at the back of his head.

"Why?" is what tumbles out of his mouth.

Why would you do this? Why do you even bother? Why me?

Peter seems to understand first what Remus is really asking. His face softens at him. "You're our friend, Remus. Why wouldn't we?"

Friend. Remus has friends. He has friends who care enough to show at his door with food and medicine because they want Remus to get better. He doesn't know if it's because the pitiful state he's in or perhaps is the promise of something warm to calm his empty stomach but he feels the knowing sting at the back of his eyes.

He blinks rapidly, Remus doesn't want them to think he's getting all weepy over salty crackers.

"So can we come in? I'm freezing my bollocks out here, Remus," Peter asks, clearly shivering and Remus snaps out of his daze.

He steps aside to make room for them to walk inside. "Yes, please, come on in." Once they're inside, he closes the door behind them. "The kitchen is to the left."

"Wow Remus, you have a nice place." Peter whistles, looking around on their way to the kitchen.

"If you point us to where you keep your cutlery, that'll be grand, better to be quick while the soup's still warm," Lily comments, taking her coat off while Peter starts taking out the containers from the bag. He takes the aforementioned saltine crackers out, pushing it towards Remus. "Here, have some crackers first."

Remus shakes his head. "Guys, you've done enough bringing me this here. Let me," he move past Lily and takes out the respective cutlery from the cabinet above the sink, placing them on the counter. Filling the glasses with water before turning around and passing them to Peter. "You both have done more than enough, really."

Peter takes them, smiling at him. "Cheers, Remus."

"You can't take medicine on an empty stomach, that's what my grandma used to say," Lily says, passing him a steamy bowl before she turns to wash her hands on the sink. "Now sit and eat while I start prepping, you look like you're going to drop dead any moment."

Peter hums in agreement, taking his coat off too. "You look like a breeze could knock you off, mate."

"You always know what to say to me, Pete," Remus says dryly. He takes the spoon anyway.

By the looks of it, it's chicken broth or caldito de pollo, as Effie would say. It has some vegetables as well as pieces of chicken floating around but the most important thing, and what really makes Remus' stomach grumble for a reason that is not his sickness, is that it smells heavenly.

He takes a tentative sip. A beat, and then, "oh my god."

"Right?" Peter looks ecstatic, taking in his reaction.

"Oh my god."

"I knew you would like it," Peter says, looking pleased with himself.

"It's really good, Peter. I'm so serious." Remus praises, between spoonfuls. "Where did you get this?"

"So there's this spot a few blocks from my house that makes authentic Mexican food—not that hard shell tacos bullshit, but the real deal— I went there one time when I was having a cold and tried their chicken broth and, I kid you not Remus, it nursed me back to health." He shrugs like it's not a big deal. "I figured it would do the same for you."

Remus slows down and looks down at the half empty bowl realizing something else. "You know, my best friend's Mexican and his mum used to make me this exact same broth when I got sick, she added a few extra things but overall it has the same comforting taste." Remus clears his throat. "It—It taste almost like hers."

Peter eyes soften, a look of understanding passing through his eyes. "You mentioned it in one of our lunch breaks, that's why I thought it was the best thing to bring."

Remus looks taken aback because he can't recall telling Peter any of that, and even if he did, he didn't expect Peter to remember it.

"You… You remember it?" Remus voices out, a small frown on his face.

Peter rolls his eyes fondly, "of course I remember, I know I have a terrible memory but it's not that bad."

"I—" Remus doesn't know what to say, the feeling that takes place inside his chest isn't just gratitude, is beyond that, is acknowledgement. There aren't enough words in the English language to express how good it feels, the feeling of being seen.

"Take that smug look off your face, Pettigrew, he hasn't try mine yet." Lily says with narrowed eyes, pointing the knife at Peter—who has the self preservation of a block of cheese because he just smiles smugly at her—before she focus back on her own thing. "I'm pretty confident of my own remedy."

Remus peeks curiously at what's on the counter around her. "What are you making?"

He has been so focused on the chicken broth that only now he pays attention at whatever Lily is doing on the other side of the island.

She has found his cutting board—Remus didn't know he had one of those, he's been using a plate all this time, like a heathen— and she's slicing apples. Gala apples, Remus' favourites. There's also a some cinnamon, sticks and grounded, and sugar.

"Apples with cinnamon."

Peter crosses his arms. "You seem awfully confident for someone who's about to boiled apples."

Lily flips Peter off.

"Why apples with cinnamon?" Remus asks with curiosity.

"My sister was a picky eater growing up, so whenever she got sick, she refused to eat, at all. It was very hard on my parents because they were afraid she would only make herself get sicker." She puts the sliced apples in a pot, adding a mix of water, sugar and cinnamon sticks. "This was the only dish she would eat in those moments. It's a very simple recipe, just three ingredients, really, but it's gentle on an empty stomach." She places a lid on the top and lowers the heat to let it simmer.

Remus didn't know Lily has a sister. It's not like he could ask about it, not in the setting they were often in. But it would be a lie if he doesn't admit that new piece of information about her makes him regard her in a different light. Remus can relate to having someone who would you try your best for them.

"Do you still make them for her?"

"I—" Lily's voice falters. She clears her throat, moving towards the stove to check on the apples, her back to them. "We aren't close anymore."

"Oh," Remus clears his throat, in a desperate notion to try and dissipate the awkwardness. "I'm sorry."

Lily shakes her head, looking back at him. "Don't be. Outside of those rare moments of mutual understatement, we barely get along."

Remus can hear the lie in Lily's words but prefers not to comment on it.

"Siblings are always a wild card." Peter agrees, clicking his tongue. "I think my sister loves me but I know for a fact she would rather eat grass before having any food made by me."

Lily snorts. "To be fair, Peter, I wouldn't either and I'm not related to you." Remus who was taking a sip of water, almost chokes before he burst out laughing, and before they know it, they're in stitches about Peter's deplorable cooking skills.

"There's something I don't understand, though." Remus speaks after the laugh quiets down. "What are you doing here?"

"We already told you, Remus, we wanted to—"

Remus holds a hand up. "No, I mean, how did you know where I live?"

"Don't look at me, mate, it was all her." Peter holds his hands up, trying to look harmless while throwing Lily under the bus. "She was the one tricking innocent old ladies to make them do whatever she wants."

"Hey," Lily protest, looking offended. "There's nothing innocent about Sonny and we all know it. If anything, she's the one tricking innocent old ladies to make them do whatever she wants."

Remus looks between them. "Are we talking about Poppy, right?"

"Who else?" Peter snorts, playing with a cracker pack. "She has been in Sonny's list long before any of us came in the picture."

Lily sighs. "Honestly."

Peter shrugs. "You kinda have to give it to her, Lils, she's committed. Can't blame a girl for dreaming big."

"Do we even know if Poppy likes women?" Remus asks, curious.

"Oh, she does." Lily confirms, turning to check on the apples that are still boiling on the stove. "We are at a school, Remus. Information runs fast but gossip runs faster." She then looks back to look at Peter. "You would know that better than anyone, wouldn't you Pete? What with nurse Crouch and all."

Peter chokes.

It seems Remus was wrong—not about Peter and nurse Crouch, he had his suspicions since the beginning— but about Lily. It cannot be a coincidence that she has chosen that exact moment to bring that up, when Peter is drinking his glass of water. If anything, the mischievous glint on her eyes gives her away.

Takes one to know one, he supposes.

"So you tricked Sonny so she could give you my address?" Remus changes the subject, giving Peter some time to recover.

"Yeah, pretty much." Lily shrugs, now stirring the apples on the stove, once the water is consumed. "We asked after you and she told us you called in sick earlier. She didn't give us the specifics, only that you had a strong stomach bug and then she refused to give us your address when we asked so we had to…"

"What? What did you do?" Remus asks looking between their guilty expressions.

"Lily distracted her so I could sneak in the files and find your folder." Peter admits. "It was easier than I thought it would, maybe we should tell Dumbledore about new security measurements in the admin room."

Remus turns to look at Lily. "And how did you distract her?"

"I might've mentioned Poppy's favourite tea brand."

He frowns lightly. "I didn't know you knew Poppy's favourite tea brand."

Lily grimaces. "I don't."

"I do," Peter mentions distractedly, peering at the stove to get a glimpse of the apples. "It's the same as Barty's."

Lily gives Remus a 'see what I have to deal with?' kind of look which makes Remus' lips twitch in amusement.

"So you went to all that trouble just to get my address so you guys could drop by and— what, feed me?"

"Yep." Lily confirms, shameless.

"And we would do it again!" Peter agrees, whooping in the air. "We have to get our fun from somewhere, you know."

Remus chuckle dies on his lips however when the next question comes to his mind. He turns to Lily.

"Why?"

Lily stops stirring and turns to look at Remus. "You know why."

Remus braces for whatever is coming and in an uncharacteristic display of braveness, he finally ask what he has been meaning to ever since he start talking to them. "Are we… Are we friends?"

Lily doesn't seem offended by Remus' question, if anything, her eyes soften. "Of course we are, Remus."

And the thing is, Remus didn't know.

He has been dying to ask ever since they started to have lunch the three of them but he didn't want to impose, he was having such a good time that asking would ruin things. So yes, Remus was hoping they were but one thing was wishful thinking and another to actually be friends with someone.

He's not mad Sonny gave him away. He's actually glad she did. He's feeling better than he has been since he woke up and he knows it's not only due to the chicken broth, it's everything else.

It's them there, in Remus' space, feeding him, talking to him, keeping him company. It's about them taking time out of their day after a probably long day at work because of someone who they met a few months ago, someone they have claimed as their friend.

He didn't know then, but he does now.

Because there, among Lily's teasing and Peter's spluttering, Remus realizes he would do anything for them. It terrifies him a little how easily the thought has settle in his head, but the more he thinks about it the surer he feels.

Friendship, huh? Such a wild concept.

"The apples are ready." Lily pours the slice of apples in a blow, now stemming and adds a dash of ground cinnamon. "Here you go," she says, passing the bowl to Remus.

The whole kitchen smells amazing. The apples are a bit mushy and they smell good, Remus takes a tentative bite.

"So? Do you love it? Do I win?" Lily looks expectantly at him.

"Leave the poor man alone, Evans." Peter huffs. "This isn't a competition."

Lily snorts. "It is now."

"You're just a sore loser."

"Takes one to know one."

"Hey—"

"It's really good." Remus interrupts their bickering. He takes another bite just to savour the flavour. "It's sweet and soft. You know, it taste like Autumn."

"Oh my god, I won," Peter sing-songs, elbowing Lilly with his most shit-eating grin.

Lily crosses his arms. "That's not what he said."

"It was implied."

Remus tunes out their bicker as background noise while he finishes the plate. It is nice, having people to rely on. He feels at ease just being in the same space as them, listening to their barbs at each other.

"Thank you for this," Remus says, both pairs of eyes turning to look at him. "I appreciate you dropped by to check on me and bringing me food and medicine."

Peter waves a hand. "Don't mentioned it."

"I think I need to, though." Remus says, abashed. "I didn't know I had friends until, well, until now I guess." Remus breathes out a laugh, feeling self-conscious.

"Honestly Remus, it's almost the end of the year, about time you caught up." Lily teases.

Peter nods in agreement. "And it only took you almost dying from a stomach bug for you to recognized our inevitable friendship."

They snicker at him, Remus rolls his eyes.

"So Remus," Peter says, trying to steal an sliced apple from the pot. "Any plans for the holidays? Are you planning to travel back home maybe?"

"I— No. Actually, my family is going to Mexico," Remus explains. "So no, we're not celebrating together this year."

It's supposed to be a surprise for the Potters. His parents have been saving for the trip since last year. They haven't break the news to them yet, but they would have to soon, particularly because it was almost December. Remus knows how much his parents have been looking forward to that trip, especially after Monty's birthday.

He wishes he could go, because Mexico sounds like a delightful place to visit, but it just isn't possible for him right now and he feels bumped out over that fact, particularly because the whole family was going— minus Minnie who would be spending the Holidays with some friends from Scotland.

Neither is James for that matter, since his job consumes all of his time or so he told Remus the last time they spoke (five hours ago).

Remus is having mixed feelings about the whole thing.

For one, he's so glad there won't be a New Year's Eve party this year, but for another, he already misses his family terribly and he won't see them for at least another six months, if everything works out. Though missing them is probably an ache that won't ever go away.

Remus has already plan what he's going to do: he's going to holed up in his bedroom, maybe buy a nice book to read and order some good food—not orange chicken, that's for sure.

"Well, I'm also spending the holidays by myself. My parents were supposed to come from Spain for Christmas but something came up, so they won't make it." Lily explains, shrugging. "I mean, if you feel up for it, you're welcome to come to mine." She tells Remus, swatting Peter's hand before he steals a sliced apple. "That includes you Peter, if you promise not to steal food from the pot."

Peter holds up his hands, the perfect picture of innocence. "No promises."

"Thanks Lily," Remus says, touched by the offer.

"Yeah, sure, count me in too." Peter agrees. "I don't have a lot going on either, my parents are going to Australia for New Year's to visit my sister."

Lily hums, looking between them. "So all of our families are ditching us for the holidays, huh?"

"Yep," Peter says, popping the 'p'. "So, what are the plans?"

"Movie marathon, obviously." Lily rolls her eyes, fondly. She points a finger at Peter. "You're up Pettigrew, top three Christmas movies, go, go, go!"

"Er… Home Alone! The Santa Clause! The Grinch!"

"Good choices, good choices," Lily hums with a calculating gaze, and then she moves her finger towards Remus. "Your turn Lupin, go, go go!"

"A Charlie Brown Christmas, The Holiday and The Nightmare Before Christmas," Remus says without missing a beat.

Peter raises an eyebrow, looking amused. "You didn't even hesitate, were you prepare for this question or something Lupin?"

Remus shrugs. "I know what I like."

"Not bad, Remus," Lily notices, with a praising look. "I also like those."

"What are yours, Lils?" Peter asks.

"Remus stole The Nightmare Before Christmas from my list but other than that, Love, Actually and The Polar Express." Lily says, proud. "So what do you say, Christmas movie marathon at my place? For both Christmas and New Year's? I can cook."

"I can bring the dessert. I might not know how to cook but I know how to bake," Peter says, looking excited by their plan. "Not to brag, but I make some killer cinnamon rolls."

"And I can bring the DVDs," Remus mentions. "There are shelves full of movies in the living room, Moody has an extensive selection and I think I've seen the titles we mentioned in there. I'll ask him to borrowed them later."

Lily claps her hands together. "That's great! That settles it, then."

"You got yourself a deal, Evans." Peter smiles and Remus nods in agreement.

"So Remus… Shelves full of movies in the living room, you say?" Lily asks, sharing a hopeful look with Peter. "Would you mind giving us a tour? In preparation for our Christmas marathon, of course."

"Of course, for research purposes only." Peter says, batting his eyelashes at Remus.

Remus snorts, rolling his eyes fondly at his antics, "come on, let's see what Moody's movie taste is like," he says, guiding them out of the kitchen, listening to their giggles on the way out.

Hours after they go, the tingling sensation remains in Remus' body. At first he thinks it might be the stomach bug annoying him again but no, that's not it. It's excitement, he realizes later when he's sitting on his bed. He's looking forward to do the movie marathon with his friends.

Remus Lupin, getting excited about spending time with other people who isn't his family, who would've thought?

A buzzing sound cuts his train of though. He scrambles for his cellphone on the bedside table. He smiles a little at the number on display.

"Hey, how are you doing? Have you stay hydrated? Don't remember you need to drink some water."

"Yes, mom," Remus teases, listening to James' huff from the other side of the line. "I have my water bottle right here."

"How about food? Are we feeling good enough to try to eat something?"

"Actually, you're going to be pleasantly surprise when I tell you that I ate not one but two things."

"Really? That's great Remus!" James replies, sounding excited. "What did you make?"

Remus clears his throat. "I didn't make anything."

"What do you mean?"

"Yeah so," Remus huffs a laugh, already sensing what's coming. "Do you remember about my colleagues from the school?"

"You mean your friends?"

Remus chuckles because of course, he already knew. "Yeah, about that…"

James laughs at him for a minute straight before congratulating Remus on making it official. Remus hangs up. Not fives seconds later the phone rings again.

"I'm really happy for you, Rem," James says sincerely, sounding at ease. "Tell me everything."

Remus does.

Chapter Text

Remus always thought he didn't care about New Year's Eve because he never particularly enjoyed the annual party his family hosted.

But now, a year later, sitting cross-leg in Lily's living room rug, watching The Holiday while eating some of Peter's cinnamon rolls (he wasn't lying, he really does make some killer cinnamon rolls), Remus is actually enjoying himself.

They ate and drink until their bellies were full of turkey and wine, and then Peter surprised them with two trays of cinnamon rolls and then Lily surprised them with a mango cheesecake.

Remus… Remus ate both.

"It's almost midnight." Peter mentions, the clock hanging above the telly almost striking midnight.

"No, no! Pause the movie Pete, I'll be back!" Lily stands up quickly and runs towards her kitchen, narrowly avoiding hitting herself with the still full table.

"Where did she go?" Remus asks mid-chew.

Peter shrugs, equally clueless. He digs into his piece of mango cheesecake, the frozen face of Cameron Díaz mid dance is still on the screen.

"Oh damn it," Remus turns to see Peter trying to clean his pajama pants that now have a piece of mango on them. "Do you think she'll notice?"

They decided to do matching pajamas for their festivities and everyone had different colours: Peter has green, Lily has blue and Remus has brown. This was the second time they were wearing them (the first time being Christmas) so yes, Remus think Lily would notice.

Lily doesn't. She shows up two minutes later holding crystal bowls with green grapes on them, unbothered by anything else.

"Lily? Why are you giving us green grapes?" Don't get Remus wrong, he loves grapes. Only the green ones, fortunately.

"It's a tradition of my family. Once it strikes midnight we eat twelve green grapes that symbolizes the twelve months of the year. We think of good things we want to achieve this new year." Lily explains excitedly, her eyes are bright and even when she's wearing her blue checker pajamas she looks like she's in the middle of a New Year's Eve party. Remus has the feeling she would love the Lupin's one.

"Come on, change it to cable, let's watch the countdown."

The Big Ben is now visible on the small telly on the floor of Lily's flat. They made it before the countdown.

"5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Happy New Year!"

Outside, the sky fills with fireworks. Inside, the three of them stuff their faces full of grapes.

"I look like a chipmunk," Peter says, cheeks looking about to explode.

Remus is giggling, not even thinking what he wants for next year, just trying to fit as many grapes on his mouth as he can.

"Think of the future! Dinero! Amor! Salud!" Lily shouts, mouth full of grapes. "Pero es que os digo de verdad, tíos, hacedme caso, que esto sirve."

"Lils, I don't speak Spanish! And we can barely talk!" Peter says around the grapes and suddenly, one shoots out of his mouth and lands on Lily's carpet. The three of them freezes. A beat passes and in the next, everyone is in stitches.

Remus doesn't think of the future, doesn't know what next year holds out for him. But among the laughs and the fireworks, he welcomes it with open arms.

* * *

"Professor Lupin!"

Remus turn around while the sea of kids walk past them, the joyous cacophony of students already making plans for the weekend, echo through the corridors.

Head Nurse Pomfrey waves at him from the other end of the hall. Remus waits for her.

"Hello Head Nurse Pomfrey, is everything okay?"

The woman rolls her eyes fondly. "Professor Lupin, how many times do I have to tell you to call me Poppy?"

Remus smiles, abashed. "Sorry, yes. Hello Poppy, is everything okay?"

"Yes, darling, everything's quite alright," she says, amused. "Listen, I was wondering, do you have plans for the weekend?"

Apart from a good cheese toast and perhaps a walk around the neighbourhood, no, Remus didn't have any plans whatsoever.

"Not really, why?"

"Would you be interested in going to a club with me?"

Remus' eyes bulge. "Like a night club?"

Poppy's laugh fills the now almost-empty hall. "Oh no, darling. Not at all, I'm too old for those." She waves her hand, "no, a embroidery club is what I meant."

"An embroidery club? I didn't know those existed."

"Of course they do," Poppy says, sounding mildly offended. "I joined one not to long ago and Barty said that Peter mentioned you were looking for something to do on the weekends."

Remus' eyebrows rose. "Gossip travels fast."

"And I am faster." Poppy hums, sounding pleased. "We get together Saturday mornings, around ten. Here's the address, in case you want to drop by." She handles Remus a piece of paper and he notices is just a couple of blocks from his home. "You don't need to have previous knowledge or the material, I have that covered up, you only need to show up."

Remus feels touched by the thought of Poppy thinking of him this way. That being said, he doesn't know how good would it be if he joins a club where its required some skill. "Poppy, I— I don't know if I—"

"You don't have to give me an answer now, "Poppy squeezes his arm. "Think about it, yeah? You might be surprised."

And that is how Remus ends up in front of a workshop full of yarn and threads the following Saturday morning, unsure if he should knock. Turns out he didn't have to, since Poppy saw him from the window.

"Remus! I'm so glad you made it. Come, we were just getting started."

"Oh so this is the boy you were talking about, Poppy!" A lady sitting on a armchair near the back of the store speaks as soon as Remus walks through the threshold. "It's so nice to see new faces around here, I'm tired to see these old farts weekend after weekend."

"Who do you call an old fart? You're the oldest here." A woman holding a ball of yarn intervenes. "Besides, you're the one who farts and blame the others."

"Ladies, settle down, you're going to scared the poor boy. Here, darling," yet another lady who's wearing a big hat ushers Remus into a sofa near the window. "Don't mind those old bats, they're always like that. I'm Pomona Sprout."

"Remus Lupin." Remus says, holding up a large tin. "I brought biscuits."

"Oh! Aren't you a delight! Poppy, you brought the right man for us." The lady with the yarn says. "So glad you could make it.I'm Ravi."

"And I'm Vivian, doll." The lady from the armchair says, waving her hand. "Do you like knitting?"

Remus is instantly nervous. "I— no. I don't how to sew."

"No, not sew. Knit. Oh boy, we have our work cut out for us, huh?"

Ravi pats him on the arm. "Don't worry darling, you're in good hands."

She guides him to the nearest seat, already explaining him the difference between sewing and knitting. Remus looks up to find Poppy looking throughout entertain by the whole thing but smiling encouragingly at him. Remus smiles back and gets his attention back to Ravi.

It takes him at least three tries to actually manage to hold the thread and loop it through the hook. Vivian chips in from time to time to make comments about where he can improve his holding or to give him advice when he sees him completely lost.

After a while trying and failing, they all decided he should start with the wooden knitting loom and try to make a scarf. Remus wholeheartedly agrees.

"So Remus, Poppy told us you work at the same school as she does." Ravi is halfway making a blue sweater. "How do you like it?"

"It's good," Remus says, trying to loop the thread around the little nail. "I like teaching and I made some friends."

"That's great, doll." Vivian says, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. "Any cute girl that catches your fancy yet?"

"No, I don't fancy girls." Remus says, distractedly. 

Vivian hums, "well, any cute boy, then?"

Remus sighs, the loop unravelling again. This is harder than it looks. "Not ready, I'm more focus on working right now."

Ravi hums from the other armchair. "You're doing good, staying focus. But don't forget to have a little fun too, you're young! The world is your oyster."

"Yeah, perhaps someday." Remus is not really sure he will ever find a boyfriend. He knows he's very particular about certain things so he doesn't think it would be as easy as just 'going out' for him to find love, or whatever other people talks about. He doesn't correct the ladies, they've been very nice and welcoming to him, he likes them.

"And how is Halzar? I've never been there, is it nice?" Poppy asks, looking for a colourful yarn from the shelves. "They say is so nice in the summer the ocean sings, is it true?"

"Yes," Remus says softly, the kind of tone he always uses when he talks about home. "It can be seen from my house's backyard, I used to enjoy the sound of it while I was harvesting some vegetables."

"Do you have a garden?" Pomona says from afar, she's having one of the biscuits Remus brought with some tea. "I love gardening! I convinced Poppy here to have one in her home and she did… Her best."

"What does that sound suspiciously like an insult?" Poppy asks, a ball of purple and pink on her hand.

Pomona raises her hands, as if she was innocent. "Hey, it not a bad garden! I just say you should add some more flowers…"

Poppy rolls her eyes. "I like it just fine, thank you."

"Oh, bollocks." Remus can't do this, is too hard.

"It's okay, don't rush. Here, let me." Ravi takes the loom from Remus and teaches him step by step, the other nodding and talking along. And Remus feels very comfortable among them. Who knew he would enjoy spending time with other people that wasn't his family?

Life is strange that way.

* * *

Spring brought colour and a decent temperature to the city, the students seemed more lively and for one, everyone seemed more happy. Remus had some complains like his allergies but other than that, he missed feeling the sun on his face.

Spring also brought unexpected guesses.

"Minnie?" Remus almost trips on his way inside because there's his aunt, standing regal at the top of the school entrance, looking down at him.

"Well? Aren't you going to greet me properly boy? It's been a long time." She talks like she's scolding him but then she opens her arms and Remus doesn't even think twice. He launches himself towards her, in two long steps he's hugging her tightly. She smells like the jasmine bush back at home.

"What are you doing here?"

She hugs him back just as hard. "I thought you would appreciate a familiar face."

"I do. I've missed you."

Minnie pats his head once they disentangled. "I've missed you too, kid."

"This is Hogwarts, Minnie, would you like to come in?"

She nods. "Lead the way, Remus."

It's like a fountain has broken. Remus can't stop talking about anything and everything. He tells Minnie about the school, his students. About Peter and Lily. About all that has been going on since the last time they saw each other in person which was when he left Cornwall. The journey from the entrance stairs to Remus' classroom is not that long so he sticks to the highlights, stopping from time to time to show her around, pointing at the various classrooms and the school yard. Minnie listens attentively the whole way.

"Minerva is that you?"

"Albus, long time no see."

Professor Dumbledore is walking towards them with an stretched hand. "Such a nice surprise to see you here at Hogwarts."

"Albus," Minerva nods, shaking the man's hand, once. A firm solid shake. "I'm visiting town to see how my nephew is doing."

The professor nods, eyes twinkling. "Oh, yes. Mr. Lupin has been a great addition to the staff, I've heard so many good things from his fellow coworkers but also from the parents. You must be very proud of him."

"I didn't expect anything less." Minnie says, looking very pleased with herself indeed. "He takes after me."

Professor Dumbledore chuckles while Remus tries very hard not to blush. "I can see that," he agrees.

Remus clears his throat. "Professor, would it be okay if I show her around?"

"Of course Mr. Lupin, I was about to ask Minerva to stay a little longer so we could have tea with me in the office," he mentions, looking at Minnie.

"That is feasible."

Professor Dumbledore claps his hands together. "Stop by when you are free, I'll be in my office. Please, feel at home. This is your home, after all."

Once the Professor has gone away, Remus turns to look at Minnie. "What does he mean by 'this is your home'? Have you been here before?"

She looks hesitant. "I've taught here, a long time ago."

Remus narrows his eyes. "How long?"

"Since it started."

"And why didn't you say so?" Remus sighs, feeling like a fool. "I've been showing you around like you didn't know any of this."

"If I'm completely honest I forgot a lot of this stuff, myself. It's been a long time, Remus."

"Yeah, well." He deflates, and then, "do you want to see my classroom still?"

Minnie's lips twitch. "Very much so."

He shows her the drawings his kids made for him, a few notes the parents give him. He introduces her to Lily who was walking by and made a very inappropriate insinuation about wanting to be a sugar baby. Minnie laughs at it while Remus frowns.

All and all, he feels very proud to have something to show her. He holds her opinion in high regard but above all, he missed having someone from home with him. Unfortunately Minnie is not here to stay for much longer.

"Do you really have to go?"

"I have a train to catch soon," she explains, the watch on her wrist doesn't lie. "Maybe next time I can stay over and you can show me more things."

"Yes, yeah I will."

Minnie nods. "Alright then, I'll leave you to your classes that if I'm correct, will start soon."

Remus takes to steps and hugs her one last time. "Thank you for stopping by, I'll miss you."

Minnie pats his back. "I do too."

"Remus! I almost forgot, I was meant to give you this from Pomona and—"

Poppy stops in the middle of the room, looking at them. She's holding a small basket with some vegetables poking out.

"Good morning Poppy, this is my aunt, Minerva McGonagall." He says when Poppy freezes in the middle of the classroom, still looking at Minnie, a bit dazed. "Minnie, this is Head Nurse Poppy Pomfrey, she's my coworker and also my friend."

They just look at each other, and then Poppy smiles. "Professor McGonagall, long time no see."

"Head Nurse Pomfrey," Minnie replies, with a praising look. "The title suits you."

Poppy chuckles. "You would know, wouldn't you? You were the one who convinced me to go to school and get it."

Minnie hums. "I am rarely wrong."

"I'm sorry, do you two know each other?" Remus asks, looking back and forth between them. He can sense a shift but doesn't know what it means.

‘We both used to teach here a long, long time ago, when we were young and inexperienced. Over time, we went our separate ways and lost touch," says Poppy, her eyes sparkling. Then she turns to Remus with an amused look. "Your aunt was the most cheeky teacher around here. Although she was strict, I remember she used to play a lot of pranks, though most of them were harmless."

"Except the one we did to Dumstrang High." Minnie points out, the tip of his lips curved up.

Poppy laughs. "Oh, how could I forget?" She points a finger at Minnie. "I've never met anyone as competitive as old McGee here."

Minnie snorts. Honest to god snorts. Remus doesn't remember seeing her doing something like that ever. "You're one to talk Pops, if I recall correctly, you were the one doing all the pranking, I just sit back and let you seek revenge."

McGee? Remus turns to look at Minnie but she doesn't even bat an eye at the name. And what's going on with Pops? He has never heard anyone calling Poppy that.

"It was a long time ago." Poppy sighs wishfully. "Anyway, how you've been? How's Adele? I remember you mentioned her in one of your letters, back in the first few months after you left this place. Are you two still together?" She says, looking around as if she expects someone to suddenly come out.

Remus frowns. Adele? The singer? Wait, no. That doesn't make sense.

"Yeah, we were together for years after that letter and lived together an adventurous life. She passed away a a long time ago, though." Minnie explains.

Remus' eyes widen. Adele as in, Minnie's life partner? Remus barely remember her. No way Poppy knows Minnie before that time.

"I'm sorry to hear that." Poppy says, sounding genuine. She opens her mouth to say something else but the bell rings and students start filling the classroom. "Would you mind if we move this conversation to my office? I would love to catch up with you, if you have time."

Minnie looks at her and smiles indulgently. "Yes, I have time."

"Okay, see you next time Minnie!" Remus says, when they both go away, barely paying attention to him. Rude.

"Professor Lupin, who was that with Nurse Pomfrey?" One of the kids ask Remus.

"That was my aunt." Remus explains, still looking at the way they went. There's something… Suspicious about it. He cannot put his finger on it yet.

He will have to ask Poppy later.

And it's only when he's walking home, the classes done for the day, that Remus realizes Poppy didn't give him the basket Pomona left for him.

Oh well. Remus shrugs, walking again. Maybe she was just distracted.

* * *

"I didn't know you could act."

"I can't!" Peter explains. "That's why I'm joining. I want to try new things, that's all."

"But a theatre actor Peter? I never peg you for someone who likes the preformative arts."

"I'm literally a teacher, Evans, all we do is perform in from of thousands of kids."

Remus snorts while he pokes at his food, the sound of his friends talking filling the classroom.

"Well, you have a point." Lily concedes. She turns to look at Remus, "what about you, Remus? What are your plans for the summer? Anything as adventurous as Peter here or are we sticking to the status quo?"

Peter groans. "One mentioned about me joining a theatre club and you're already quoting High School Musical. The devil works hard but you work harder, Evans."

Lily shrugs as in 'what-can-I-say-I'm-amazing' type of shrug.

"I'm was planning to visit my family for the summer but I'm thinking about taking some courses about teaching in a school near here. Professor Dumbledore mentioned something about it and I think it would work in my favour. For my future, I mean."

Lily rolls her eyes. "Of course, more homework. Does any of you guys think of anything else besides working?"

Peter arches a brow. "Alright, do tell, what are you doing this summer?"

"I'm going to Spain and I'm not going to work or do anything but being in the pool all day long."

"That sounds amazing Evans, but you guys might like to reconsider your summer plans." A voices comes from the door.

Nurse Crouch is standing there, throwing up and down a red apple with his right hand.

"Barty! What are you doing here?" Peter looks at the classroom watch. "I thought you were with Pomfrey doing the first graders mandatory shots."

"We were, but I sneak in to give you this." He places the red apple on the desk in front of Peter, a broad smile on his face.

The light from outside makes the tattoos on his arm shine brighter, especially because have of them are already coloured by the kids, no doubt. His blue scrubs are even stain with paint in some places.

A light blush appear on Peter's face. "You didn't have to."

Nurse Crouch shrugs. "I know. I wanted to."

"Thank you."

"What did you mean earlier about us reconsidering our summer plans?" Lily asks, her arms crossed over her chest. "Do you know something we don't?"

Barty hums, stealing a cracker from Peter's package. "I overheard Poppy talking with someone from admin that said Dumbledore is planning to implement a mandatory training for all teachers with less than five years' working at Hogwarts." He huffs a laugh when Peter bats his hands away. "I gathered you'll have to return before everyone else, at least two weeks being holed up here."

"Oh for fuck's sake, that's so unfair!" Lily complains. "It's less than half of the staff!"

"Yeah, well. At least is not the whole summer." Peter says, trying to find the silver lining.

"I don't think is that bad." Remus comments. "You're just lazy asses."

They all throw their wrappers at him. Remus laughs and laughs.

* * *

"There's something going on with Moody.

Remus doesn't know what it is exactly but he seems out of sorts. He makes himself a cuppa but never drinks it. He listen to music a lot, mostly ABBA but from time to time he throws other eras too. Mostly seventies and eighties though. He walks out from his studio when Remus is on the living room grading some papers, stands there for a solid minute. And then, he turns around and goes back inside.

There was one time that Remus swears he heard him crying behind closed doors but he's not so sure.

He tries not to pay him any mind, really, each their own but it's getting weirder and Remus is wondering if maybe Moody is losing his mind or something.

So one Sunday morning in September, Remus makes toast for both of them. He does a spread on the small table in the kitchen: strawberry, honey, butter. Biscuits and milk and sugar for the tea. He even took out the fancy tea set he found in a cupboard. Once he's sure everything looks good, he goes to fetch Moody from his studio. He knocks lightly. "Moody, are you there?"

He can hear a grunt from inside. That's enough of a permission to enter, so Remus does.

He finds the man over his desk, looking at a piece of paper with big fancy letters on it. Moody tucks it inside his jacket before Remus can make out the words.

"What do you want, kid?"

"I made toast."

Moody grunts. "And?"

"And you haven't eaten yet so I thought you might like some."

"How thoughtful, Mother Teresa everybody."

Remus snorts. "I'll wait for you on the kitchen." He says, before walking out.

It takes less than Remus was expecting before he sees Moody standing in the threshold of the kitchen, an annoyed expression on his ugly face. He knows it all for show, he can clearly hear Moody's stomach grumbling from here.

Once Moody is seated, Remus starts with spreading butter on his toast. "So, how you've been?"

"So you tricked me with food so you could make chit chat with me? Is that what this is?"

"Maybe," Remus says, taking a bite. "You came anyway."

"I was hungry." Moody grunts, sipping the cuppa Remus made for him.

"I know." Remus hums. "I also know you've been strange lately so I wanted to make something comforting for you."

"What do you know about comfort?"

Remus shrugs. "Not much, but I learned a lot this the past year."

"If you want to talk I'm here to listen." Remus says when Moody doesn't respond. And after what he just said, he wouldn't find it weird if Moody stands up and walks out.

He doesn't. He keeps eating his toast in front of Remus which he takes it as a small win. They ate in a comfortable silence. They're almost done with the food and Remus thinks Moody is not going to talk at all (it was a stretch anyway) but then, Moody surprises him.

"If you— If you were at odds with someone, how would you fix it?"

Remus is taking aback by the question. "What do you mean 'at odds'?"

"Yes, like, you guys had a fight and they're not talking anymore but now suddenly you get something that it might be interpreted as an olive branch. How do you deal with that?"

He thinks about it for a moment. "Do you want this person back in your life?"

Moody looks at him and nods. Remus can see he might have a hard time talking.

"Then I would take it and try to fix our relationship. If I were at fault I would admit the error of my ways or if I was wronged then I would to be more willing to forgive."

Moody laughs wetly. "That's such bullshit, kid. What are you, a self-help book?"

Remus huffs a laugh. "I mean it, you might be surprised of what one achieves if only stops being a stubborn shit."

Moody arches an eyebrow. "Talking from personal experience?"

"Maybe," and then they both laugh.

"I'll think about it, kid." Moody says and that's the closest Remus would get to a thank you. He doesn't need it anyway, he can see the man looks more at ease and that's is enough.

"You're tea making skills suck, though." He says, making a face.

Remus stretch his head over. "The tea cup is empty."

"I was hungry."

"I know."

Chapter Text

“Why are we doing this, again?” Remus asked for what must be the third time in the last 20 minutes. He tries to fix his wolf ears, again, unsuccessfully.

“We are being supportive friends, Remus,” Lily says, moving along with the people in front of them. Her red cape bellowing behind her. “Peter is going to be happy when he sees us in the crowd.”

Remus shuffles his feet against the pavement. “Well, yes, I know that. But couldn't we have shown our support in the form of… I don't know, a congratulations card, maybe? On business hours, most preferably,” Remus grumbles, tucking his red scarf tighter around his neck. His ladies would be very proud of how it turned out.

The flannel does little to keep the cold of November at bay. Even with his coat on (the costume be damned), the cold still gets to him. Remus doesn't know how Lily is unbothered by it, with the little red riding hood costume and all.

“Instead, we are freezing our bollocks out here. Who does shows at midnight anyway?” Remus huffs, continuing his tirade, leaning on the brick wall when the line stops around the corner.

Lily looks at the people in front of them, probably trying to calculate how long before they get to the front. "It's an special Halloween function, Remus, according to Peter this is just for tonight."

"And they just had to make it costume-mandatory?"

"Well, yes, it is Halloween, you know. Otherwise what would be the point?" Lily's lips twitch in amusement, noticing Remus' aggravating groan. "Besides, Lupin, I couldn't pass the opportunity to see you wearing a werewolf costume."

"Yeah well, you tricked me, Evans." Remus accuses motioning at himself: the werewolf headband ears, the red flannel shirt, the ripped jeans, and the white shirt that says 'lu-pining for you'. Lily snickers.

Because even when he doesn't know why he ended up agreeing to this, he knows how, though.

Usually, Remus is more attentive when Lily is talking to him. He likes to listen to her, she’s funny and says the most interesting things. He has particularly come to enjoy the little breaks between classes where they bond over bitching about pretty much everything that goes around in the school at the moment.

She is also a terrible person for waiting for the right moment to catch him off-guard.

Something that usually happens when he's grading papers and trying to decipher his student’s chicken scratch instead of being an active participant in the conversation. Remus tends to hum absently in agreement at whatever anyone says to him —which has prove to be quite dangerous since he can pretty much agree to anything without knowing. And of course, Lily knew this and took full advantage of that.

Hence his current situation. So in retrospect, it’s Remus’ own fault.

Remus feels the headband sliding off his hair again. "I look like an arse, with his thing falling off my head. How come your hood is still in place?"

Lily wiggles his fingers in front of him. "Magic."

"Lily."

"Here, let me," She opens her bag (which is in the shape of a basket) and takes out some bobby pins. She does something to the werewolf ears and before he knows it, the headband stays in place. "There, you're all set."

"Thanks," Remus says, the people in front of then moving along in the line, all wearing very elaborate costumes. Maybe he should've ask Lily for one of those too.

"Listen, I know I trick you but I also know we're going to have a good time, just trust me! But in the off-case I turn out to be wrong, well…" she opens her bag again and shows him what it's inside, “I figured we can have fun on our own,” and Remus chuckles at the peanuts poking out of a plastic bag.

It doesn't take very long before they find themselves in front of the ticket booth, money in hand. An old lady wearing a snow white costume welcomes them.

"Good night, loves. What do we have here? Little red riding hood, yes?" The old lady asks and Lily nods, giving her a twirl so her red skirt flows. "And you, darling! You are… a dog?"

"I'm a werewolf, ma'am." Remus points at the ears.

The lady narrows her eyes behind wide glasses. "Oh, yes! Of course you are, darling." The lady smiles indulgently at him. "Two tickets?"

“Yes, please,” Lily says, taking some money out. Remus does the same.

“Don't I look like a werewolf? I know I don't have a mask but I have furry ears! What else does she want from me, a tail?” Remus grumbles after Lily drags him away from the booth, snickering.

"Don't mind her, you look great."

"I look like an arse and I'm freezing my arse too. I don't know which one is worst."

Lily clicks her tongue. “Remus, we are already inside. Besides, one night isn’t too much to ask, is it?”

It isn’t but he’s not going to admit that, instead Remus just gives her a side look as they walk. At the entrance, Remus sees people handing out brown paper bags with something inside and in an instant, he narrows his eyes suspiciously at the bag a guy offers him. Lily takes both of their and heads inside. He has no other choice but to trail after her.

“What's with the bag?” Remus asks when they finally find their seats near the stage.

Lily waves a hand dismissively, passing him the paper brown bag. “Oh, nothing you need to worry about now.”

As soon as he takes it, the bag makes a distinctive sound.

“Lily, my bag jingles, why does it jingle?”

“Remus, you’re ruining the experience,” she puts her hand on the back of his when he tries to open the bag. “Don’t open it just yet, wait until the show starts.”

He narrows his eyes at her (yet again!) but leaves the bag alone for the time being, instead, he lets his eyes wander.

The amount of times he has been in a proper theatre —without taking in consideration the dingy auditorium back at home where they show their high school plays— are few. The place is quite lovely, relatively small for a theatre; old with not enough room for a proper audience but big enough to have balconies; the details and the high ceilings makes up for it or so he thinks.

As small as it is, it fills rather quickly; surprisingly enough, he doesn’t feel suffocated. Regardless, is a good thing Remus always chooses an aisle seat near to the closest exit.

One never knows when a sudden fire can take place, you know, best to be prepared.

Looking at his wristwatch there’s still three minutes until midnight for the show to start. Remus yawns for what feels like the thirtieth time that night and turns to Lily only to find her in an animate chat with the person beside her. If that isn't Lily Evans in a nutshell.

Without her paying attention to him, Remus opens the bag as silently as possible and ruminates the contents, his curiosity taking the better of him. What Remus finds, however, is nothing he can make sense of, because inside there is the following: a flashlight, a newspaper, some confetti and what looks like rice. Remus can’t help but frown at the contents.

“Lils, why did they give us a bag with random stuff?” She turns to Remus and has the grace to look sheepish.

“Oh,” Lily gives her an apologetic smile, “maybe because the show is… Interactive?”

“What?” he asks, wide-eyed. “And you didn’t care to mention this to me earlier?”

“I didn’t because I knew you were going to freak out and you would’ve never agreed to come!”

Damn right, he wouldn’t.

“Damn right I wouldn’t!”

Oh no this is bad. Interactive means —well, interaction and he can’t interact at all. What if they ask him to play along or to do something embarrassing? He can't do embarrassing things and especially not in front of a semi packed theatre.

Damn Lily for being a social butterfly and damn Peter for having a life outside work.

“Lily, I— this is not—If I had known—” Remus is gripping the arms seats with his life looking to his left where the exit is, he knew it would eventually come in handy to sit near the exit.

Lily puts a hand in his arm and nudges him back on his seat. She takes his hand and in a soft but stern tone she says, “Listen, I didn’t tell you sooner about the show being interactive but I just found out while we were in the line, I'm sorry I didn't tell you as soon as I finished eavesdropping,” Remus snorts and Lily smiles a little. “What about this: if after the first act you still want to go, we will go, and if at any point before that you still want to leave, just say the word and we're leaving, no questions asked.”

He searches her face for any sign that might tell she’s lying to him but can’t find any. Her green eyes steal with determination and honesty, Remus has always appreciated that of her since the first time they met.

It is hard to try new things, he knows better than most. He has done so much the past year this is nothing in comparison. Still, it's nice to know he can go at any point and Lily won’t judge him for it. Remus knows she’s just looking out for him, she always has and this is only one of those moments. Besides she's there with him, and Remus feels secure in her presence.

Remus gives her a small smile. “Alright, Evans. I’ll stay.”

“That’s all I’m asking for,” Lily squeezes his hand, smiling too.

The murmurs die down and the lights start to dim until they find themselves in complete darkness. Slowly, a woman wearing a bright pink outfit and a blonde wig enters left and starts singing.

Michael Rennie was ill

The day the Earth stood still

But he told us where we stand

And Flash Gordon was there

In silver underwear

Claude Rains was The Invisible Man

He looks around and unlike him, the people around him is singing alongside the lady. But it's no only his row, almost every member in the audience seems to know the words and he wonders, perhaps for the first time, that this might actually be a popular play. Remus didn’t hear about it before, but again, he really hasn’t been to a lot of plays since he got to the city so what does he know, really.

Then something went wrong

For Fay Wray and King Kong

They got caught in a celluloid jam

Then at a deadly pace

It came from outer space

And this is how the message ran

The crowd holds their arms up when the chorus hits, swaying them from left to right, at the rhythm of the voice. It’s nice, Remus thinks, but he wasn’t expecting such energy, especially since it is midnight.

When the song comes to an end and the curtain opens, he sees the scenario where a bunch of cardboard-cutouts in the shape of a car and what looks like a church appear alongside a couple behind the fake car.

The break into a song not two minutes later, which Remus is expecting since this is, well, a musical—but still. He can't help but sigh, this is going to be a long night.

Eventually the singing and the acting comes to an end and one Peter Pettigrew walks out wearing a tuxedo and holding a book. Remus heaves a sigh of relief.

He didn’t know exactly when he would show up, Peter only invited them both to his opening night but he really didn’t say anything else nor did he give them any details, Remus didn’t ask either. So it was convenient that he showed up sooner than he expected because after the whole 'breaking in song every two minutes', Remus isn't sure if he's going to endure the whole thing.

“He looks good, doesn’t he?” Lily whispers to him and Remus has to agree.

Peter looks very formal indeed, so unlike his quiet and unobtrusive demeanour at school. Here he looks… Confident even, very sure of himself. It’s a nice look on him. The crowd begins to whistle and shout and Remus doesn’t know what that’s about but Peter doesn’t seem perturbed by it.

He holds out a hand, calming the crowd who seems already enchanted by him.

“I would like if I may—”

“You may!” The crowd shouts in response and Remus frowns. He wasn’t expecting the crowd to talk back but it seems that Peter did since he didn’t show any surprise by their response.

Peter continues, addressing the crowd. “To take you—”

“Take me!” A stranger cuts him off and Peter doesn’t seem offended by this, he looks entertained. He even winks at the man.

“Perhaps later.” He says in a suggestive tone and everyone present loses it.

“He’s good at this,” Remus observes and Lily nods in agreement.

“On a strange journey—”

“How strange was it?” The crowd asks.

Remus looks around to see that almost all of the people present in the theatre know what to say next. Is there a secret script or something he missed at the entrance? Remus looks inside the paper brown bag, just to be sure.

“It seemed a fairly ordinary night when Brad Majors—”

“Arsehole!”

“Honestly, Lily, what is going on with this show?” Remus murmurs while the back and forth between the audience and Peter continues. “I didn’t get the script in the bag, did you?”

“—And his fiancé, Janet Weiss—”

“Slut!”

“I guess this is what interactive means,” Lily offers apologetic, clearly taken aback as well. “I knew there was a peculiarity with this show to try and connect with the audience but I guess I should’ve asked Peter more about it.”

And yes, they should have.

“He should have warned us or at the very least, given us the hidden script,” Remus hisses, listening to what must be the last bit of Peter’s dialogue because he closes his book.

“It was a night out they were going to remember…” Peter says, smiling when he finds Lily and Remus in the crowd, Lily waves but Remus doesn’t, he’s frowning.

“For how long?” The crowd asks, excitedly.

Peter smirks. “For a very long time.”

He goes away and the guy and the lady in the dress start talking again.

“Come on, take your newspaper and the flashlight,” Lily whispers, taking said things out of her paper bag like everyone else. The leads are singing again and now they’re others in the scene with them; there isn’t actual water coming down obviously but Remus goes along with it, feeling silly putting the newspaper over his head and waving the flashlight like everyone else.

Remus does his best to follow along.

When Peter shows up in fishnets and black heels on stage for the second act (in what looks like the inside of a castle) Remus shouts and claps like the rest of the audience. He might not understand the whole nonsense that’s happening around him and the fact that there’s supposedly a secret script no one told him about but he tries to do his best regardless.

However, there’s a limit to everything and Remus’ seems to be a choreographic routine. As the actors on stage are doing a dance, people in the audience follows them, replicating their moves. The special effects with the lights and the thunder sounds are too much for Remus and he decides then that he has enough. He’s annoyed, tired and for some weird reason he's very hungry.

“Lily,” Remus leans towards her, catching her attention. “I think I’m going to go.”

She takes one look at him and in the next beat she starts getting up. “Alright, let’s go.”

Remus stops her with a hand on his arm. “No Lils, it’s fine. Stay and enjoy the show, I’ll be fine,” he insists but Lily doesn’t bulge.

“I meant it earlier when I say you have the final word. Besides, we already watched Peter twice so it’s fine, he will understand.” She puts his hand on top of Remus’ squeezing it once, to show her reassurance that it was in fact okay to go.

Remus smiles at her, and they stand up, shuffling to get to the corridor in the middle. But just when they reach it, a different voice starts singing.

How do you do, I,

See you've met my

Faithful handyman.

“Oh my god,” Lily blurs out, already turned around, eyes wide. Remus frowns at her reaction but when he turns around as well, to look at whatever has left her stunned, the sight that welcomes him will stay with him for a very long time indeed.

There’s a man on stage wearing a black cloak, very high heels and what must be the prettiest face in the entire world. The sparkly blue eyeshadow and red lips curved into a mischievous smirk renders Remus speechless. But what stands out the most are his eyes, two grey sapphires shining brightly like a beacon of light.

And they're directed at him.

Don't get strung out by the way I look

Don't judge a book by its cover

I'm not much of a man by the light of day

But by night I'm one hell of a lover

It lasts no longer than five seconds (not nearly enough) before the man breaks eye contact with Remus. He keeps singing the rest of the song, moving around the actors on stage, pointing and smirking and singing, looking like a fever dream.

Remus is helpless to do anything but follow him with his eyes. It’s like a spell Remus can’t break. He stays rooted in his spot, in the middle of the aisle for God knows how long until he feels a hand on his arm.

“Remus?” Lily shaking him out of his daze. Right, Lily, because they were going away. Right. He blinks hard.

“Lily, I think we should stay?” It comes out like a question, like he is not sure what he is supposed to do now.

“Are you sure?” Lily’s voice sounds puzzled, she might be frowning but Remus can’t tell, he hasn’t looked away from the stage once. “I thought you wanted to—”

Whatever she’s saying cuts off when Remus makes a sound at the back of his throat. The guy on stage has taken off the cloak. He’s wearing a corset, a black sparkly corset that, with the light of the spotlights, looks like a thousand stars in the night sky. Fishnet tights and a white pearl necklace finishes off the entire costume.

Is a sight to behold and Remus' mouth is like the fucking desert.

He doesn’t know how they make it back to their seats again but somehow they end up in the middle of the row of seat again. The rest of the show passes in a blur, the brown bag long forgotten as well as his concerns around the secret script he wasn’t privy to. Nothing matters more than the person performing on stage.

The man is a true artist. Not to criticize anyone or anything but he looks leagues over the rest of the cast, not only the acting and the voice— which makes Remus feel things, alright. Is the way he seems so comfortable up there, on stage, on his body. He acts so natural in full makeup and twelve centimetre heels Remus can’t conceive him in any other way or form.

It's like he was born to do this.

The whole time, the man has the audience eating from the palm of his hand, he commands the crowd with such ease, taking each rebuttal from the audience and giving it back with such grace making it clear for everyone that he can give as much as he gets. All the eyes follow him wherever he goes and why wouldn't they, really, since the man is the centre of his own world.

It’s unlike anything Remus has seen before. And let’s not talk about his more heated scenes because the way he moans is making Remus squirm in his seat for unknown reasons.

He is not unlike a star, bright and incandescent.

And the most unbelievable thing yet is that, the whole time the man addresses the audience, without a fault he searches for Remus.

Remus doesn’t know how he does it, since he’s not exactly in the first or second row, but somehow, this person finds him in the sea of people, every single time.

It’s only when the curtain goes down and the theatre is lit up again, that Remus get back into his body.

Lily is already up, adjusting her scarf around her neck. “I think it would be great if we wait for Peter to congratulate him, what do you think?”

Remus nods, standing up. “Yeah, let's go.”

Lily leads him past the exit sign and towards the main area on the theatre near the doors. Everyone seems to gather there and feels a little crowded but there isn't another exit so Peter is bound to meet them eventually.

Remus waits idly, brushing off confetti and rice that hangs off his clothes.

The silence between them only lasts less than two minutes before Lily talks again.

“So,” Lily says with a light voice, fainting innocence. “What was that about?”

Remus looks at her.“What was what about?”

“You know,” Lily shrugs, giving him a knowing smile. “That full-on gay crisis you had back there.”

Remus frowns. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’ve known about my sexuality since I was a kid.”

Lily shrugs. “Just a crisis, then.”

When Remus doesn’t say anything, Lily amends. “Or whatever that was going on between the guy who played Frank-n-Further and you. You know, the way you couldn’t keep your eyes off him and vice versa.”

Remus flushes, feeling uncomfortably called out.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he says, like a hypocrite. “I was just enjoying the show.”

“Stop it,” Remus chides Lily when he sees her ridiculously smug expression.

Lily raises her hands in an innocent manner, but his eyes are full of mischief. “I didn’t say anything!”

Remus crosses his arms on his chest. “You didn’t have to, your face says enough.”

She has the nerve to laugh, “come on, Remus, you know what I mean. Whatever that happened back there was really out of character for you, you were two seconds away from running away and the moment that guy came out you were completely hooked.”

Remus tilts his chin up, “so?”

“So? Remus, this is huge! I’ve never seen you this invested in anything that is not your class. Since I met you this is the first time I see you completely enraptured by something, someone.”

Remus clears his throat, looking away. “Well, it was a good performance Lily, you can hardly blame me for appreciating artistic endeavours.”

“I am not,” Lily confirms, wagging her eyebrows. “Us lesbians can appreciate long hairy legs in fishnets too, you know.”

“See? It’s not a big deal. I just really liked it, that’s all.” Remus says, looking at his watch. How much longer will Peter take?

Lily shakes her head in clearly disbelief. “Admit it, Lupin. You were practically drooling over that guy.”

“Over who? Me? You’ll have to buy me dinner first, Lupin.”

“Peter!” Lily sees him first, giving him a little hug. “Congratulations! you were amazing back there.”

Remus nods, patting his shoulder. “You really were, mate.”

Peter smiles at them. "You guys look so good, you really embody your name, huh?"

He starts to giggle when Remus elbows him playfully. "You have no room to talk, the grandma look suits you a little too well, Pete."

"Thanks," he says proudly, doing a little twirl to show the grandma's dressing gown, the grey wig and the some slippers. "I think I look fetching."

They all snicker. “So, did you guys enjoy the show?”

Lily eyes knowingly at Remus who pointedly looks away. “You can say that we did.”

Peter looks between them, not knowing what is going on, “alright, care to clue me in?”

“Remus here has this big fat crush with the guy who played Frank-N-Further.” Lily comments and Remus glares at her.

“I do not!”

“Sirius?” Peter asks, head tilted to the side. And then, a mischievous smile that can only mean trouble for Remus crawls on his face. “Well, why don’t I introduce you two? He’s right there. Hey! Sirius!”

Peter waves his hand motioning someone across the room to come over when Remus gets a flash on a leather jacket. The guy is even more stunning up close and even if he's not wearing the stage clothes anymore, both outfits fits him nicely.

He replaced the corset for a Queen t-shirt, the cloak for a black leather jacket and the high heels and fishnets for a black ripped jeans and combat boots. The hair though, the hair wasn’t a wig, it was all him. Smooth black wavy hair, shoulder length. He looks like a rockstar or a model fresh out of an 80’s magazine.

“Hey, Peter.” Sirius greets but his eyes never leave Remus.

“Sirius, I want you to meet my friends from work. This is Lily Evans,” Peter gestures to Lily and Sirius shakes her stretch hand with a polite ‘hullo, how are you doing?’ and Remus can tell Lily is a little bit flustered by it.

“And this is Remus Lupin.” Peter says, motioning at Remus. Sirius smiles, bright and wide, taking Remus’ hand between both of his. They’re surprisingly soft with a few rougher spots around the fingers.

“Hello.”

“A pleasure to meet you, Remus.” Sirius’ smile is blinding, making Remus feel tingly all over. "I like your costume, werewolves are cool."

Remus can literally feel the heat crawling on his face. He forgot he's wearing that fucking arse werewolf costume, and the ears! This is so embarrassing.

“Sirius?” Peter asks when Sirius stays silent for a few beats, just looking at Remus in wonder, Remus’ hands still between his own.

“Have we met before?” he asks, looking intently at Remus.

Remus huffs a laugh, cheeks even warmer by the intensity of his gaze. “I don’t think so, no.” He’s sure he would’ve remembered if they had. A person like Sirius is pretty hard to forget.

Sirius hums, squeezing Remus' hand before letting it go. “Did you enjoy the show?”

“We did, you did amazing, we enjoyed that immensely.” Lily intervenes and Remus throws her a look. Sirius arches a brow but Remus just hums in agreement, not saying anything else.

Sirius looks between them, "couple's costume or just a matching one?"

Remus splutters while Lily cackles. "God no, just matching ones. I like women and Remus is completely and utterly gay."

"Lily."

"He's also desperately single."

"Lily."

“Well, then, good to know.” Sirius smiles, like the cat who got the cream. "My friend Mary, who played Magenta is staying for the party, are you staying too?"

"Does she likes women? Big women?" Lily asks, battling her eyelashes.

"She does," Sirius nods. "I think she would appreciate your little red riding hood costume. I have it on good authority that he is going to dress up as a wolf for the party, so…"

Lily hums appreciatively, and then, she turns to look at Remus with a mischievous glint in her eyes. Oh no, this cannot mean anything good for him. “Actually, I think that sounds great, I could stay up a little longer but I think Remus is not up for it.”

Remus narrows his eyes, knowing what Lily is trying to do but he is in fact tired so he goes along with it. “I think I’m heading home.”

“I’m heading home too actually.” Sirius turns to Remus. “Care for a ride?”

Before Remus can refuse, Lily intervenes. “Oh, could you really? he got here in the tub.”

Sirius flashes Lily a white smile. “It'll be my pleasure.”

“Perfect,” Lily says, like it’s settled. She then turns to Remus. “See you on Monday?”

Remus can appreciate Lily’s mischievous plotting, how smooth she is about it but Remus can see right through her. And Lily knows Remus knows so she flashes him a big smile, urging him to go along.

“Make sure he gets home safe, you get it?” Lily says but he’s not talking to Remus, he’s looking directly at Sirius.

“Evans…” Remus warns, feeling his cheeks warm at the same time.

Sirius nods at Lily, looking serious. “I will.”

Remus tucks away his embarrassment and follows Sirius away from sea of people.

“First show?” Sirius asks, once they're on they're outside.

“It was,” Remus confirms. “If you don’t count the local theatre back at home.”

“Are you kidding? Of course I do, they’re the core of showbiz.” Sirius walks towards a motorcycle, parking near the entrance and it’s just now that Remus notices the helmet under the man’s arm.

“Ready?” Sirius is looking back from where he’s already sitting on the vehicle when Remus stops a few steps behind.

“A motorbike,” Remus notices, clearing his throat. “You ride a motorbike.”

Sirius tilts his head to the side. “You okay, Remus?”

Remus feels his face on fire, is it suddenly very hot or is just his imagination?

“I’m good.” He says, putting his hands on the pockets of his jacket. "It's just that I, er, I've never rode one, or anything for that matter." His eyes bulged at the insinuation. "Wait, that's now what I—"

Sirius laugh is rich and deep. "You're in good hands, Remus, nothing to be worry about. And well, there's always a first time," Sirius offers, his grey eyes reflecting the light around them. He stills have some blue eyeshadow around them.

Remus nods vigorously, not even daring uttering a word before he walks towards the bike and throw his leg over it, behind Sirius. "You're right, I'm good.”

And when Sirius ask him where to, while he turns on the ignition, Remus can only mumble his neighbourhood.

“Safety first,” Sirius turns his torso around and softly, he takes the bobby pins out of Remus' hair, before taking the wolf headband ears and tucks them inside his leather jacket. He puts his helmet over Remus’ head and smooths the hair back, so Remus doesn’t get it over his eyes. “There you go, all set."

There's a high probability that Remus is having an out of body experience, he needs to hold onto something because otherwise he feels like he might faint. The intensity of Sirius’ eyes is mesmerizing and Remus feels drunk on it.

Without asking, Sirius holds Remus’ hands, putting them around his waist securing them.

“Hold on tight for me, love.”

Sirius flashes Remus a smile, turns around and picks off.

Remus’ mother never liked motorbikes, she used to say it was an accident waiting to happen. And Remus wasn’t so sure about them either, he has never touched one, mind you, so he was reticent about them to say the least.

But now, sitting on one as he darts around vehicles and the streets of London, holding tight to the most beautiful man he has ever seen, Remus doesn’t think it is too bad. It’s exhilarating even. He didn’t know riding a bike could make him feel these many things.

Sirius feels warm under his hands, Remus’ long arms encircling Sirius’ body, hands resting in the middle of his abdomen. The air waves Sirius’ long hair on Remus’ face but he doesn’t mind. The man smells of strawberries and something fresh, like the ocean.

Sirius smells like the thing Remus misses the most.

The ride passes on rather quickly and in the blink of an eye, they're zooming through Remus' neighbourhood. He gives Sirius a few directions here and there and the next thing Remus sees is the door to Moody's house.

Once the bike is parked, Remus tries to take off the helmet but he struggles with the buckle. A hand rest over his fingers and with ease, unbuckles the helmet and take it off his head.

"Thank you," Remus mumbles, feeling winded.

Sirius hums, "you're welcome, love."

Remus clears his throat, his face on fucking fire. "Well, this is me, er, thank you, for the ride." He says, before putting his hands over Sirius' shoulders and climbing out of the bike.

"It's nothing," Sirius says, his helmet now under his arm. "Hey, I was thinking, do you have a phone I could use? I need to do something real quick."

"Yes, sure," Remus pulls out his phone from his back pocket and handles it to Sirius.

"Thank you very much, it will be real quick." He seems to type something, a ping, and then he handles it back to Remus.

He looks a the tiny screen and there are two words written there, under a string of numbers.

"Sirius B.?"

"Black, Sirius Black," Sirius replies, shrugging. "Just in case you want to go for another ride with me, sometime."

"Right! yes, yes, of course. I would very much like that."

Sirius' lips twitch at Remus' blabbering. "I would very much like that too."

"Sirius Black," Remus murmurs to himself, looking at the name on the tiny screen. "Like a star in the night sky."

"Yeah," Sirius replies softly, having hearing Remus' mumbling. "Like a star in the night sky."

Remus clears his throat. "Well, then, I— I better go inside."

And then, as it was a fucking movie or something, David Bowie starts playing inside the house.

"Great taste," Sirius mentions, bopping is head with the rhythm of the song. "I love David Bowie."

"Do you really?"

Sirius hums, "yes, David Bowie, ABBA, Queen. Music in general, I listen to pretty much everything. But David Bowie has something special, you know? Like he came directly from the sky to tell us all of his secrets."

Remus' lips twitch. "Like a Starman?"

Sirius barks a laugh. "Yeah, exactly. I guess that's why I like him so much. Being someone named after a star and all." He sighs, and starts the engine again. "Well, I have to go back."

"Wait, are you going back to the party? I thought you were tired too."

Sirius shrugs. "I just wanted to have an excuse to take you home." He opens his jacket and shows Remus his werewolf ears. "Besides, I already have a costume."

Too stunned to speak, Remus can only see how Sirius puts on the helmet, winks at him and turns on his bike. "See you soon, Remus."

Like the trail of a shooting star, Sirius disappears when he turns in a corner, leaving Remus on the pavement, dazed.

It takes a minute or two before Remus snaps out of it and goes inside. Still thinking about what just happened, it takes him more than a few minutes to realize what's going on. The music is coming from the studio, and when Remus opens the door the least thing is expecting is finding Moody on a suit sitting on the floor, a bottle in hand, almost passed out.

"Moody, what happened?"

"I fucked it all up," Moody slurs, sniffing loudly. "I ruined everything."

Remus goes to the turns the volume down and takes the bottle away from Moody's slippery hands. With difficulty, lifts Moody from the floor to the sofa he was leaning on.

"What did you do?" Remus grunts, settling him on the soft surface.

Swinging from left to right, Moody takes an invitation from the breast pocket of his suit and handles it to Remus. When Remus opens it, it makes even less sense.

SAVE THE DATE!

Narcissa

&

Alice

They would like you to be present on this important day…

"A wedding invitation?"

A hiccup, and then, "My daughter's wedding."

Remus' eyes are wide and then it hits him. That little girl on the photo in the closet, the "A" on the door of his room. Alice.

"I made a fool of myself and I ruined things between us again." He deflates, and falls on his back and into the seat. "I wish I could go back and fix it, I wish I could tell her how proud I am of her, I wish… I wi…"

The snorts takes over and the sleepy form of Moody is now slumped on the sofa, completely passed out.

Remus doesn't know what to do. Well, no, he knows but he doesn't know if he can. He knows is what he needs to do. He leaves the studio and goes straight for the hallway closet. The hourglass feels warm on his palm. Six hours, he can catch Moody before he leaves the house.

Remus closes his eyes.