Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

——ooOoo——

[ Friday, 18:32 ]

Jasmine Fenton added Daniel Fenton , Nathan Lester , Paulina Sanchez , Dash Baxter , and 11 others.

Jasmine Fenton has renamed this group “Class Group Chat”

jazzhands: Hey, everyone! Good evening! Mr. Lancer asked for my tech help to create the classroom group chats. He said it would be a good bonding experience, so here we are. Use this to share information and ask questions on homework! 

toofine: tech help? why didn’t he ask me

jazzhands: He doesn’t trust you, Tucker.

toofine: oh yeah for real

100yarddash: a class groupchat? seriouslyw

barbiegirl: a group with everyone? like, EVERYONE everyone?

barbiegirl: Perfect gossip territory ;)

nottodday: wow I feel threatened

barbiegirl: this could be interesting <3

batwoman: oh this WILL be VERY interesting

ashestoashes: oh a groupchat!! hi guys

ashestoashes: better put it to use then!! does anyone know how to answer question 4 in the math worksheet

starlight: i’ll help u with it!! cheer practice just ended, are you still in school? go by room 21

ashestoashes: yeah!! volleyball just ended too. omg thank u so much star, actual life-saver

——ooOoo——

[ Saturday, 06:09 ]

tiffanieandco: wait goth gal

tiffanieandco: wdym this WILL be VERY interesting

tiffanieandco: why do you sound so confident

queenbree: should we be worried

batwoman: wow not even a good morning?

queenbree: figured that’s too cheerful for you

batwoman: ur right

batwoman: but yes. yep. you SHOULd be worried.

toofine: bless clockwork he’s still not back on his phone

nottodday: what’s the weirdo trio up to now

nottodday: wtf is a clockwork

sinnamonroll: oh, a class groupchat!!

sinnamonroll: I think it’s a nice idea! way to go jazz :>

jazzhands: Thank you, Kwan! I’ll stick around to supervise you guys.

jazzhands: and I agree with Sam. As much as I trust you all, I do not trust my brother. This WILL be VERY interesting.

100yarddash: wait you guys worried about fenturd?? like actually? he’s FENTON

100yarddash: have yall ever even met him

starlight: I don’t think danny could make this groupchat any worse than it already is

toofine: you’d be surprised

jazzhands: Hey Dash, don’t insult Danny! He’s a lot bolder than you know. And I thought you were done with bullying?

jazzhands: I’m a Fenton too. Know your place.

mikerophone: oh damn she killed him

batwoman: YES GIRLBOSS SLAYYY

batwoman: jazz should go apeshit more often

queenbree: oh my zone?? jazz??

nottodday: wow dash just died. sorry guys we’re hosting a funeral on sunday

sinnamonroll: I’ll bring flowers! :D

toofine: sorry can’t go already going to a funeral party on sunday

nateural: what

toofine: what

——ooOoo——

[ Saturday, 11:43 ]

100yarddash: sooooorry jazz

100yarddash: and for the record, we ARE done with bullying. fuck freshman year me

100yarddash: am jst surprised really?? like it’s DANNY who sleeps in class all day and vanishes half the time

100yarddash: how bad could it be

batwoman: oh no you jinxed it

jazzhands: It’s alright, Dash. I’m proud of you for apologizing (for once! That’s progress!)

ashestoashes: she’s the class mom now

jazzhands: class mom??

sinnamonroll: class mom!!

batwoman: to be fair jazz youve been class mom for a WHILE now

batwoman: people just didn’t know lol

kylogram: I just picked up my phone during work and there’s already a dumpster fire

girlinred: class group chat? oh wow

girlinred: thank the ancients danny isn’t here yet

nottodday: you too???

jazzhands: I have to go, but please do let me know if anything happens!

mikerophone: bye jazz!

toofine: oh no

toofine: OH NO

toofine: SHE’S GONE

nateural: I’m worried now

toofine: WE’RE DOOMED

barbiegirl: Aren’t you three taking this WAY too far?

barbiegirl: Like, it was funny at first but

barbiegirl: im with dash, no way fenton could be THIS bad

batwoman: danny texting and danny irl are VERY different

tiffanieandco: I mean, they’re all prob in groups with danny. if anyone would know, it’s them

girlinred: me? trusting danny in any way? LESS likely than you think

kylogram: where even is he anyway

queenbree: yeah what’s with the suspense?

girlinred: I don’t think he’s back home yet

queenbree: back home? he could just be asleep still

girlinred: yeah, no. danny doesn’t “sleep” he's awake

toofine: he asked me to fix his phone. I left it in his room earlier today, so he's def still not home

toofine: he shattered the screen after he dropped it

100yarddash: oh of course he did that clumsy mf

100yarddash: or. at least he was clumsy?? now he's like. semi buff

sinnamonroll: oh yeah last year? what happened with that

batwoman: that’s nunya bizzness

sinnamonroll: smooth

nateural: oof that’s an old one

——ooOoo——

[ Saturday, 15:29 ]

batwoman: wait shit

batwoman: hes coming hes texting me

girlinred: oh ancients I do NOT want to be here to deal with this

starlight: you guys hyped this up so much

starlight: it better be good

mikerophone: ooooh I’m intrigued

toofine: I assure you it will NOT be good

sinnamonroll: oh he’s here 

barbiegirl: oh no

localcryptid: HI WELCOME TO CHILIS

Chapter Text

——ooOoo——

[ Saturday, 15:32 ]

100yarddash: fenton wtf

localcryptid: ayo a class groupchat fr???

localcryptid: ohohohohoHOHOHOHOHO

localcryptid : this is gonna be fun >:)

Daniel Fenton has renamed this group “Amity Park's Most Cursed Class”

batwoman: danny pls be chill in the gc

localcryptid: you know I’m always chill I am FREEZING even Hypothermia

localcryptid: call me elsa but I aint lettin go

toofine: sam no you fell for his trap

localcryptid: it’s okay sam I fall in traps all the time

localcryptid: like have u seen my house legit it’s a death trap literally

localcryptid: then there’s skulker’s traps too but I can always see through them

localcryptid: cause they’re invisible

batwoman: oh zone

localcryptid: is the chemical that composes our upper atmosphere

barbiegirl: it’s worse than I thought

sinnamonroll: hi danny!! this is concerning

nateural: sup dude what is wrong with u

localcryptid: heyo gamers! so many things you have no clue

localcryptid: I am so fucking dead tired (hehe) cause of the stupid meetings with the stupid eye people

localcryptid: but I drank insane amounts of coffee and energy drinks and have returned so yell heah

starlight: hell yeah??

localcryptid: no. YELL HEAH.

localcryptid: I heard it Once and I am Absolutely making it a thing here

toofine : danny please you’re scaring the children

localcryptid: you know Outsiders are instinctively terrified of me

localcryptid: same difference bro

mikerophone: what the fuck

mikerophone: danny u seem unhinged dude

nateural: danny I want to study your brain chemistry in a laboratory setting

batwoman : NO

nateural: donate ur mind to science danny

localcryptid: oh NO THANKS 

localcryptid: my parents used to threaten to seriously do that to me like every other day

localcryptid : I’M EATING RN BRO. I don’t wanna be thinking about being dissected again

sinnamonroll: wait WHAT

barbiebirl: you’re joking

localcryptid: oh no, oh no now I’m thinking about it

toofine: danny :(

batwoman: want us to come over?

localcryptid: nah I’ll be fine

localcryptid: my parents took down the vivisection table, vlad the frootloop is in therapy, and the fuckers in white were FINALLY fucking disbanded

toofine: took the government long enough honestly

toofine: fuck the giw

batwoman: ^^^

localcryptid: ^^^

localcryptid: but yeah now things are a lot more chill. so am good. yell heah.

barbiegirl: wait you’re like ACTUALLY serious???

localcryptid : yeah paulie? I am serious. I am, in fact, EATING RN yes

localcryptid: my glowing sentient nachos aint gonna monch cronch themselves

starlight: but

localcryptid: I’m hungry okay?

kylogram: you live a wild life dude

nottodday: young man are you Okay

localcryptid: lmao I live? hilarious, I didn’t know that

localcryptid: also todd I may have taken my mom’s height but I’m still older than u

nottodday: only like few weeks though, we’re both 16

localcryptid: no I mean like there are ancient greek tablets with my face on them

localcryptid: any historian can confirm that, objectively, you are babie and I am elder

——ooOoo——

[ Saturday, 16:54 ]

tiffanieandco : what the heck is going on

queenbree: tiffanie it’s okay you can say fuck

queenbree : because what the fuck

ashestoashes: jeez what did we get back to??

localcryptid: wouldn’t you like to know weather boy

tiffanieandco: danny what are you even doing

localcryptid: guys gals and nonbinary pals we are here for little time but we are here for a terrible time

localcryptid: my liminal existence is beyond human comprehension

queenbree: wait danny have you been to the backrooms

localcryptid: yeah actually

localcryptid: it’s cool to vibe around facelings. some hounds seem to LOVE peanut butter. don’t ask.

localcryptid: also, the wall mold tastes nice

ashestoashes: what

localcryptid: what?? she ASKED and I ANSWERED

localcryptid: this is how questioning works

localcryptid: I would know I’ve been interrogated before

sinnamonroll: I’ve been trying to take a screenshot of this convo but my phone won’t let me :(

sinnamonroll: it’s just too iconic

toofine: oh yeah no yeah

toofine: phones can’t screenshots any of danny’s messages

sinnamonroll : wait actually? tucker ??

toofine: trust me it’s for ur own good

localcryptid: they really are too iconic what can I say

localcryptid: but yk we gotta make sure there’s no evidence of my chaos

localcryptid: in case I go on trial again for attempted manslaughter and being too awesome *hairflip*

localcryptid: it’s a very important feature all devices should have it @apple hmu

barbiegirl : manslaughter????

Tucker Folley has renamed this group “Danny SCP Containment Facility”

100yarddash: THIS is what you’re like online??

100yarddash: why do yu hold back so much in school

localcryptid: mr baxter!! wow!! I’m so glad you finally found a brain cell!

100yarddash : oh FUCK OFF fentoe

100yarddash: you’re one to talk, you have like negative braincells

localcryptid: probably tbh

localcryptid: idk that much about antimatter tho I def should since it's like all over me

localcryptid: but to answer ur question

localcryptid: my very presence in any environment makes it like objectively 12 times more dangerous so I really need to tone things down a notch in order to coexist with other people without breaking a wall or smth

100yarddash: huh

localcryptid: there’s a reason so many flying eyeballs hate my ass and mAKE ME LOSE SO MUCH FUCKIMG SLEEP

nottodday: danny. are you lucid, awake, conscious, aware of your actions and words,

starlight: I’m starting to get actually worried :(

sinnamonroll: starting????? 

——ooOoo——

[ Saturday, 18:02 ]

girlinred: oh ancients

girlinred: danny stfu

localcryptid: AYO VAL

girlinred: oh no 

Chapter Text

——ooOoo——

[ Saturday, 18:04 ]

girlinread: I should never have come back here

localcryptid: BITCHASS YOU KNOW ILY BUT REALLY?? I THOUGHT U WERE BETTER THAN THIS??

barbiegirl: oh tea???

starlight: danny’s got beef

localcryptid: I’VE GOT TONS OF BEEF BUT WE DON’T TALK ABOUT IT CAUSE I DON’T WANT TO ENCOURAGE THE LUNCH LADY’S OLD GHOSTLY ASS AGAIN

localcryptid: BUT SERIOUSLY VAL YOU KNOW I HATE SOUP CANS

mikerophone: …soup cans?

girlinred: I said I was sorry

girlinred: you don’t have to do this Here

batwoman: you did NOT do what I think you did with the thermos

girlinred: it was an accident

toofine : LMAOOOOO YOU DID

nateural: what the zone is happening

girlinred: it’s fine, danny, don’t be too salty about it

localcryptid: DO YOU KNOW HOW SMALL THAT BITCH IS?? I WILL DEFINITELY STAY SALTY ABOUT IT. I WILL BE SO SALTY ABOUT IT THAT I’LL START REPELLING MY OWN SOUL

localcryptid: unless u buy me a nasty shake

girlinred: son of a bitch

——ooOoo——

[ Saturday 18:35 ]

barbiegirl: oh drama!! damn!! 

barbiegirl: no more weirdo trio! what do we call them now? “quirky quartet” or something? the “freaky four” ???

barbiegirl: brb gotta add this whole situation to the list

mikerophone: what list??

barbiegirl: “randomly ominous amity park facts” list

starlight: it’s a real list and it’s actually pretty full

barbiegirl: there’s a subsection just for the fentons

starlight: lina’s really observant actually, it’s super impressive 

starlight: you all just don’t know her that much

barbiegirl: you guys don’t know what I do with my free time ;)

kylogram: you would LOVE my older brother

barbiegirl: do NOT compare me to him

sinnamonroll: hey, wes is such a nice guy :( and great basketball player :(( my fave senior :(

100yarddash: yeah if you forget like the whole week he spent stalking our classroom for some reason

nateural: I thought dale was ur favorite senior?

100yarddash: dale is an ASSHOLE bro, he's so full of himself

sinnamonroll : he still tries to bully people when he's not busy being suspended. what a douche.

barbiegirl : we were all douchebags in freshman year. we changed, but he somehow got worse. NOT fave senior.

mikerophone: what about jazz :((

barbiegirl: okay you're right, best senior, jazz appreciation society

100yarddash: ^^^

sinnamomroll: ^^^

nateural: ^^^

nottodday: ^^^

barbiegirl : but wes is pretty cool. wes and I actually had a lot of interesting convos about phantom in the past. in secret, duh, cause of The A-List™

barbiegirl: he’s a cool guy! but kinda antisocial ig. I just don’t want to be associated with his, uh, “old methods”

kylogram: that’s valid honestly

——ooOoo——

[ Saturday, 19:26 ]

tiffanieandco: by the way guys!! careful out there

tiffanieandco: lunch lady out by the nasty burger. phantom on the scene, red’s helping people escape

100yarddash: I guess fenton REALLY encouraged the lunch lady’s old ghostly ass then

starlight: oh shoot, stay safe whoever’s there!!

queenbree: we’re fine, lost our nasty meals though :(

sinnamonroll: red is so cool now!! iconic

nottodday: oh she’s the best legit

barbiegirl: ooooh phantom’s there? think you can try to take a photo?

nottodday: you know better than everyone that photos of phantom suck, they’re all distorted

barbiegirl: it wouldn’t hurt to try?? he’s my fave hero, and I know everyone wants a photo

ashestoashes: I’ll try?? though I think the battle’s almost done

ashestoashes: pretty sure they’re just sparring honestly. like there’s barely any property damage surprisingly

tiffanieandco: ghost fights have really gone down these past few months. anyone else notice this??

starlight: yeah, the phanclub have been trying to figure that out recently actually

nottodday: maybe the ghosts are scared of phantom now

100yarddash: that’s my theory!! phantom’s the best and super OP

barbiegirl: I heard technus yell once that phantom’s important now? he called phantom “the great one” whatever that means

barbiegirl: and then technus shot him. But whatever! That's besides the point

barbiegirl: I guess as long as the other ghosts don’t attack or mess with people, phantom lets them stick around?

sinnamonroll: that’s so awesome of him! ghosts support ghosts!!

Kwan Jae-Hyung has renamed this group “Ghost Gang”

——ooOoo——

[ Saturday 22:06 ]

nateural: wait, everyone

kylogram: waht

nateural: it’s silent.

nottodday: uh. good?

mikerophone: no, NOT GOOD.

mikerophone: it’s been too quiet. too quiet for too long

ashesandashes: and??

starlight: oh no. OH NO.

mikerophone: where.

mikerophone: are.

mikerophone: they.

barbiegirl: oh.

barbiegirl: OH.

starlight: I don’t like this

queenbree: well at least the fight is over

barbiegirl: @ashestoashes did u get photos :(

ashestoashes: All blurry again, even more than usual

ashestoashes: like, he seemed more green, if that makes any bit of sense

ashestoashes: *nastyphantom.jpg: a messed up photo of phantom hovering over a table at the Nasty Burger. His fists glow green, and there's something floating on top of his head. It's really hard to decipher what is what.*

barbiegirl: oh mierda :(

jazzhands: Hello, everyone. I just wanted to publicly apologize for my brother’s behavior from earlier. He has been severely sleep-deprived for the past three days and his actions truly reflect that. I’m forcing him to try and get some more sleep tonight. He can sometimes be “an eldritch abomination" and "go goblin mode.” He asked me to quote that.

jazzhands: Thank you for understanding. Again, sorry for him.

100yarddash: wow you know it’s serious when jazz apologizes for him

batwoman: the gc is safe for now, he just collapsed on the bed

batwoman: also, changing the gc name. We already have a group called ghost gang, it would get too confusing

Samantha Manson has renamed this group “Chaos Class”

starlight: you have a gc called ghost gang??

girlinred: danny the dumbass cannot take a break, I swear

sinnamonroll: are you guys alright??

toofine: wdym?

sinnamonroll: I mean, didn’t val go buy him a nasty shake?

toofine: uh

barbiegirl: Oh you’re right!!

starlight: trueeeeee

batwoman: we’re fine

batwoman: we were on our way out, when it started

nottodday: did u get to see red?

toofine: wow simp

toofine: and that's coming from me, the resident pansexual flirt disaster

nottodday: what?? not saying anything but she’s an INCREDIBLE hero okay

toofine: uhhh yeah she was there ig?

girlinred: oh my fucking ancients

batwoman: LMAOOO

girlinred: but yes red is awesome

nottodday: YEAH!! SHE IS, RIGHT? SHE’S SO WITTY AND POWERFUL AND COOL!!!

sinnamonroll: wow that’s like paulina-level fan

barbiegirl : oh please nobody can get to my level of fan

100yarddash: hi

barbiegirl: okay maybe one person

toofine: I’m so glad danny is asleep for this

batwoman: this is hilarious

girlinred: it really is, honestly

nottodday: wait does the phanclub talk about the red huntress too

barbiegirl : ¡si! we talk about any ghostly amity park stuff. we stan all our local heroes!!

batwoman : not all of them

nottodday: let me join plz plz I beg

girlinred: oh my ancients

nottodday: I have merch

girlinred: THERE’S MERCH??

girlinred: SINCE WHEN IS THERE MERCH

toofine: since the PR department was founded? last march??

batwoman: yeah val it’s been knew

batwoman : phantom has his awesome logo for a reason, you know? publicity 

girlinred: I need to sit for a bit

toofine: I’m SO glad danny is asleep for this

Chapter Text

——ooOoo——

[ Sunday, 02:43 ]

localcryptid: okay google what was amber mclain's favorite food

localcryptid: okay google how to bake brownies

localcryptid: okay google recipe for brownies

localcryptid: okay google why do ghosts love the witching hour

localcryptid: okay google how to save a burnt brownie

localcryptid: okay google is it a good idea to take burnt brownies to the deathday party of someone who got burnt alive

localcryptid: okay google does ember mclain like burnt food

localcryptid: okay google easy diy funeral gifts

starlight: ….. danny??

localcryptid: this isn't google

localcryptid: shit

starlight: what is all this??

localcryptid: star why are you awake ??

starlight: I started reading a book and fell down the rabbit hole

starlight: the penelopiad!! kinda dark but slaps. gods, murder, feminism, 10/10

localcryptic: oh cool!! I might check it out if I have the time :P

localcryptid: omg pandora would love that

starlight : now, why are you awake?? I thought you were sleep deprived

localcryptid: I am, severely

starlight: and the weird texts????????!?!?!?!?!?!?

localcryptid: I think at this point you can tell where I'm going

localcryptid: jazz is at an internship this week, but I needed help

localcryptid: damn google's laggy speech-to-search feature

localcryptid: have I ever baked brownies before? nope. but ember likes them so

starlight : wait. Are you ACTUALLY going to EMBER MCLAIN'S DEATHDAY FUNERAL PARTY???

localcryptic: yep and I'm already late

Starlight: HOW DID YOU GET AN INVITE TO A PARTY?? IN THE ZONE???? 

batwoman: ember's asking about u babe 

localcryptid: shit uh tell her I'm bringing cookies

localcryptid: do NOT tell her that they're store-bought 

girlinred: too late

localcryptid: damn it

starlight: Wait the whole quartet is at the party?? still don't know the official group name

toofine: ye we're danny's guests (tho I’d prefer to be asleep)

starlight: Danny brought guests????

localcryptid: ye i'm close friends with ember

starlight : sorry, you're CLOSE FRIENDS WITH EMBER FUCKING MCLAIN??

localcryptid: mmmmm more like allies? but yes

toofine: her songs are bops, go listen to her new single "heavy is the crown"

localcryptid: it's a personal homage

starlight: I can't believe this

batwoman: what? that we have a social life?

localcryptid: life, haha

starlight: dash and lina are gonna lose their goddamn minds when they wake up (just like I am right now)

starlight: like I know you live literally above the portal so it makes sense that you'd befriend the cool ghosts

starlight: but is this why she hasn't mind controlled people in months??

starlight: is this why there rarely are ghost attacks anymore??? Why everyone is so chill??

starlight: cause youre just. Befriending ghosts left and right??

girlinred : oookay star maybe that's a big stretch

girlinred : danny may be friends with some ghosts and all but like. that wouldn't really cause all ghosts to relax

starlight: true, I guess. sorry, I'm sleepie. the power of friendship can't really stop obsessions

girlinred: It's not like danny has the power to change so much in thre zone 

localcryptid: eh debatable

batwomam: not helping danny

localcryptid : also, friendships can definitely affect obsessions. It's all about redirection of the intent, or something like that. Jazz said it's similar to human urges. Even if the principle is the same, the fulfillment is different. You scratch an itch in your brain, or core, in a new way, and it feels nice without any mass destruction :V

starlight: no actually that's. informative?? I didnt know that :0

starlight: did ur learn this from your parents?

localcryptid: nahh 

localcryptid: BLESS the hunter-ghost truce last year and ACTUAL unbiased ghost research 

localcryptid: but they still know very little

localcryptid: usually they steer clear of ghost cores and focus more on like, ghost defense and ectoplasmic manipulation. Specifics on ghost psych is more jazzs thing! 

localcryptid: my grades come from my awful mental health NOT from my intelligence thank yoi very much

starlight: wow i'm. Impressed. Genuinely. 

starlight : you used to be like, terrified of ghosts in freshman year, it was a whole meme. I keep forgetting how much u know about them now

localcryptid: it do be like that fr

starlight: I'm going off to sleep, but uh, tell ember I said hi??

localcryptid: will do >:D 

localcryptid: yell heah

——ooOoo——

[ Sunday, 03:24 ]

toofine: "babypop, tell ya classmate that I say heyo back!!" - ember

toofine: also, an update: Ember liked the cookies but she would've preferred the burnt brownies lol

toofine: and yes, this is the funeral party I mentiomed earlier

——ooOoo——

[ Sunday, 04:57 ]

localcryptid: GIV3ME BAKC MY DRINK BITXH

girlinred: catch me hoe

batwoman: calm down you toddlers

batwoman: also is tuck actually sleeping on the couch

girlinred: y’all got like 3 hours of sleep tho

localcryptid : yeah fucking finally I get some sleep

localcryptid: can’t have shit in detroit

batwoman: we’re in the ghost zone

localcryptid: yes and?

——ooOoo——

[ Sunday, 07:34 ]

100yarddash: wHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED HERE???

Chapter Text

——ooOoo——

[ Sunday, 11:26 ]

queenbree: so. are we gonna talk about last night or

nateural: I legit just silenced the gc. No way i am dealing with all This

nottodday: This is the first thing I saw when I woke.up

nottodday: I hate it here 

ashestoashes: But hey uh

ashestoashes: Danny?? Sam?? Tuck? Val??

tiffanieandco: Were you guys Actually in the ghost zone

tiffanieandco: At a party

tiffanieandco: In the zone

tiffanieandco: With ghosts

tiffanieandco: At a party

nottodday: Also was danny. uh. yk.

girlinred: danny was not drunk no

girlinred: He's just Like That

girlinred: and @tiffanieandco so what if we were ?

nottodday: what the fuck

kylogram: can we come next time

girlinred: hmm probably not but thats up to the party host ig

kylogram: where’s the gang btw?

girlinred: the trio’s not up yet, honestly danny will prob be asleep all day

starlight: understandable

queenbree: I just. I have so many questions

mikerophone: We All Do

mikerophone: not to say I’m surprised. this is amity park we’re talking about

mikerophone: we’re used to crazy

mikerophone: but for the four of you to just. casually go to the zone like that? 

starlight: ikr? i’ve just been. processing this

girlinred: sucks for you guys ig

nottodday: bruh

Star Anderson has renamed this group “Nightmare Fuel”

Todd Perkins has renamed this group “Group Chat of my Nightmares”

starlight: ahh shoot! we had the same idea

nottodday: is aight, I like urs better lmao

Todd Perkins has renamed this group “Nightmare Fuel”

nottodday: its. its just so true.

nottodday: we might not get answers but we will get sleep paralysis demons

——ooOoo——

[ Sunday, 15:43 ]

queenbree: hey guys, did anyone else finish Lancer's assignment yet?

sinnamonroll: I did! I can help you with it :)

sinnamonroll: Oh wait. what did I miss??

nateural: scroll up

kylogram: you missed a lot

sinnamonroll: Oh. oh A LOT lot

mikerophone: so many questions

sinnamonroll: I need to sit down for this, hold up

barbiegirl: Kwan, NO

barbiegirl: go to our other chat for this

barbiegirl: No theories on main

sinnamonroll: But paulie dude :((

barbiegirl: we have rules!! phanclub talk is for the phanclub chat only

100yarddash: i knOW MAN WE'RE SPIRALING OUT HERE

100yarddash: I still can’t believe that Fenton has a social life

toofine : please you’re just angy we went to a party that You weren’t invited to >:]

100yarddash: stfu techno geek

100yarddash: this aint about u

toofine: it kinda is, tho

batwoman: ugh move on guys, we’re friends with some ghosts, thats it

sinnamonroll: But

girlinred: No buts

nottodday: haha butts

girlinred: stfu

——ooOoo——

[ Sunday, 18:49 ]

ashestoashes: oh wait yea @queenbree I forgor

ashestoashes: what do you need help with?

queenbree: nothing much, I'm just confused what to do at the end :/

sinnamonroll: the structure changes at the end of shakespearean sonnets !!

sinnamonroll: three stanzas with rhymes ABAB, right?

sinnamonroll: but you end with one couplet, rhymes AA

queenbree: Ooooh got it! still in iambic?

sinnamonroll: yep! :)

batwoman: ah, the poetry slam wasn’t a waste of time, I see

100yarddash: uhhhh poetry slam??

sinnamonroll: it was kind of fun, actually! I learned a bunch ^^

100yarddash: who even are you??w

——ooOoo——

[ Sunday, 21:58 ]

nateural: okay but 

nateural: why did the theme have to be death though

nateural: Is lancer okay ever

ashestoashes: To be fair we. we have enough inspiration around us

ashestoashes: most haunted town in the usa, right? we live in our own tragedy, in a way

kylogram: #im14andthisisdeep

ashestoashes: Let me be emo in peace

nottodday: That sam's job

toofine: No she's a Goth™ it's different

ashestoashes: Plus it's just my poem's theme, I'm not usually this angsty lmao

nottodday: good point

mikerophone: actually im writing about the same topic! Or at least similar

mikerophone: Our interactions with “life after death”, and all that spooky stuff

tiffanieandco: Yea I think most of us did the same idea since. yk. Amity Park™

barbiegirl: yeah

starlight: Yeah

sinnamonroll: yea

queenbree: Am excited to see y'alls!! :>

toofine: wait. we're sharing???

sinnamonroll: mhm!! mr lancer sent an email about it

sinnamonroll: it’s a pair-share kind of thing

girlinred: o that’s cool!

batwoman: uhh

girlinred: ...

girlinred: wwait

nottodday: ... yeah??

batwoman: brb

100yarddash: ???

——ooOoo——

[ Monday, 01:48 ]

localcryptid: so I heard we’re sharing our poems tomorrow huh?

localcryptid: wish I knew this before I submitted mine </33

localcryptid: but anyways

localcryptid: whoever gets my poem

localcryptid: good luck opening that can of worms

localcryptid: I beleaf in you

Chapter Text

——ooOoo——

[ Monday, 07:14 ]

tiffanieandco: danny why were you awake at 1am

localcryptid: I have my reasons

localcryptid: also my b I’ll be late again, someone tell falluca I’ll drop my worksheets in his office l8r

100yarddash: I’m not surprised at all

nottodday: What now, did a ghost dog eat your homework?

localcryptid: bro never, cujo’s an awesome pup

localcryptid: he would never eat my work

localcryptid: tho contaminate it? yeah probs

starlight: I aint even gonna ask

localcryptid: he’s a good boi :<

girlinred: depends on who you ask

localcryptid: meanie :{

sinnamonroll: I’m still a little concerned about what you implied earlier :((

sinnamonroll: What… what did you write in ur poem danny?

localcryptid: you’ll find out soon enough <3

nottodday: oh no

——ooOoo——

[ Monday. 09:17 ]

nateural: wait guys I need to ask

nateural: @localcryptid how does. how does ember eat

queenbree: oh yeah true

jazzhands: Get off your phones, Nathan and Brittany. Aren’t you supposed to be in class right now?

queenbree: jazz!! welc back! how was the internship?

jazzhands: It was wonderful. Thank you for asking!

nateural: shouldn’t you be in class too, jazz?

jazzhands: We have a free period right now, so it’s alright. But you should pay more attention, you know? Phones can be a big distraction.

nateural: I still want Answers™

mikerophone: ur a fenton right, u probablt know too

jazzhands: If you’re already distracted, it’s best to make this a learning opportunity

jazzhands: All ghosts are able to eat. Most don’t, as they have no necessity for it. They recuperate their energy in different ways. And yes, they do sometimes feel hungry as well, but Ghost Hunger is a bit different. Other ghosts do enjoy eating, simply for the pleasure and factor of nostalgia. Those seem to be more recent ghosts, though, since eating is an old habit, I suppose. Though that does change from ghost to ghost as well! Comfort foods can help to “ground” them a bit if needed (although they do float) 

jazzhands: Done! Now please, go back to class

queenbree: Sure mooooom

mikerophone: Oh my yes ghost lecture from dr jazz fenton

nateural: what exactly is ghost hugner??

jazzhands: I’d rather not talk about that.

localcryptid: then I’ll talk! ghosts usually refuel themselves with ambient and latent ecto, the purer the better. the taste of fear kinda comes as a spicy sauce? yeah. and to be fair , ghost blobs love being eaten. it like helps replenish their ectoplasm once they’re out

jazzhands: DANNY.

localcryptid: what? it’s true, weren’t you the one who kept talking about “normalizing” and “embracing the surprises of ghost anatomy”

jazzhands: Go back to class :(

localcryptid: >:0

jazzhands: >:(

localcryptid: D:

jazzhands: :|

localcryptid: :(

jazzhands: :)

mikerophone: ghosts eat ghosts? ghostception??

mikerophone: blob ghosts are edible?

localcryptid: yep tho they’re not for u

localcryptid: wait shoot brb

queenbree: what is wrong with this town

——ooOoo——

[ Monday, 11:41 ]

kylogram: dudes this class is such a nightmare

ashestoashes: ugh ikr

kylogram: like ms brooke ily but nobody cares about this

batwoman: Hey, the Salem witch trials were a big deal okay

batwoman: It was awful, I’m not gonna let anyone dismiss it

100yarddash: wow batgirl gets salty about her old witch besties

batwoman: Test me again and I’ll place a curse on your family line

kylogram: and the quartet is vaguely terrifying, as per usual

sinnamonroll: @localcryptid are you okay? :0

sinnamonroll: you look kinda pissed

toofine: falluca took his phone when he was texting earlier

toofine: but yeah, he’ll be fine, just a bit mad. let’s just hope ms brooke doesn’t say anything wrong

ashestoashes: can someone ask to turn off the AC plz?

kylogram: it’s not on??

ashestoashes: damn??

——ooOoo——

[ Monday, 12:26 ]

nottodday: Hey, what happened earlier in history class?

nottodday: the lunch line is gonna explode with gossip

barbiegirl: Oh my zone you haven’t heard??

starlight: Aaaand another thing to the list!

barbiegirl: Fenton was like, super tense during all of ms brooke’s class

barbiegirl: she was giving some facts about the witch trials and all

barbiegirl: “25 people died in Salem between 1692 and 1693 as a result of the trials.”

barbiegirl: suddenly he got really pissed, stood up and started blabbing about history books being wrong and unfair

barbiegirl: and then went on a tangent about how 26 people died, instead of 25. he said there was this little girl called meredith collard whose execution was really tragic

barbiegirl: they soon found out her accusations of witchcraft were fake. but get this, she was actually the out-of-wedlock daughter of a famous witch hunter. everyone was so freaking ashamed, they erased any records of her to hide the proof

barbiegirl: danny said he would “get clockwork himself to beat up the historians’ asses”, whatever that means

nottodday: that clockwork guy again?

barbiegirl: he was like, MAD mad, sort of in a heartbroken kind of way

starlight: so yeah, ms brooke gave him detention after school (duh) but he didn’t even budge

nottodday: what the fuck?

100yarddash: never catch an angry fenton

sinnamonroll: is he sleep deprived again?

tiffanieandco: how was fenton so sure of all that

starlight: that’s what I asked too

starlight: and you’ll never guess

100yarddash: what?

starlight: he said he knew her

queenbree: what???

tiffanieandco: like, he heard her story before?

starlight: no like

starlight: *historybook.jpg: a photo of a desk, zooming in over danny’s shoulder. danny is standing up, pointing at the book. on an open page, there is a large illustration of a gathering in salem. in the middle of the crowd, a young peasant girl smiles at an older boy. a very, very familiar older boy with dark hair.*

starlight: he. knew. her.

sinnamonroll: oh my zone???

tiffanieandco: might be an old relative of his?

barbiegirl: I heard once about a witch hunter called fentongale? fentonightingale?

100yarddash: fenton-nightingale? talk about family heritage

girlinred: everyone shush

girlinred: yea, you can say that she’s an old relative

batwoman: and danny’s feeling better, we got him burgers, thanks for asking

sinnamonroll: ohhh :( I forgot

sinnamonroll: sorry for not asking earlier :(( I’m glad he’s doing better!

toofine: He says it’s alright, he’s just still a bit gloomy after the whole thing

toofine: #justiceformeredith

batwoman: ^^^

girlinred: ^^^

sinnamonroll: ^^^

tiffanieandco: ^^^

100yarddash: ^^^

barbiegirl: ^^^

starlight: ^^^

nottodday: ^^^

——ooOoo——

[ Monday, 14:28 ]

sinnamonroll: guys I’m not ready for this D:

sinnamonroll: I need emotional support

100yarddash: what why? bro??

sinnamonroll: lancer just said fenton’s my partner

sinnamonroll: oh no oh no he’s grinning at me

toofine: oof rest in peace

girlinred: try to stay sane

batwoman: don’t cry in front of him plz

100yarddash: what the fuck, it can’t be that bad

sinnamonroll: yeah, yeah

sinnamonroll: we’ll just share our basic drafts and final poems with each other

sinnamonroll: then give them to lancer, right? 

batwoman: it’s danny. do you really think it was that easy?

starlight: I’m kind of curious now, actually

sinnamonroll: if danny lets me, I’ll share them here!

toofine: oh no

sinnamonroll: he said it’s fine :D

starlight: oh slay!

sinnamonroll: wait what in the zone??

sinnamonroll: how many drafts did danny write??? he just handed me like… three pages??

sinnamonroll: wait no, five pages?? D:

girlinred: there were 14 pages originally

girlinred: he doesn't usually put this much effort into homework, but the theme was death so he just had to

100yarddash: I can see fenton smiling from here

100yarddash: why is he smiling tell him to stop smiling it’s so unnerving

toofine: good luck kwan, you’ll need it

Chapter Text

——ooOoo——

[ Monday, 14:53 ]

sinnamonroll: …

sinnamonroll: just… read this.

sinnamonroll: * dannyspoetry.pdf *

Page 1

(sorry for the doodles)

Daniel J. Fenton

November 27th, 2006

Mr. Lancer

English Literature

Poem Drafts

Shakespearean Sonnet → Theme of death, ideas?

• amity’s other ghosts
• being an enigma

am I dead? am I alive? I feel like I’m alive most of the time

dying hurts a lot.

• it w as p a i n fu l

With one foot in the world of life and one in death's abode.

A strange form I hold (???)

The cold of death surrounds me, the ice of agony makes me a freak , it aches,

And I am caught between two worlds, trapped and weak without any breaks.

A being, in between, hard to understand ??? ?????? 

I breathe out habit, but there is no more need

I crave the heat of feelings that I used to feed

I am not a demon nor thrall to be feared

it was never my choice to rule, to be revered,

Fated to hurt others, a monster hidden at the core of Amity

a gift, an invisible curse, an explosion rips away my humanity

no, don’t think about him

i’m not him, i’m not him

I don’t like this

(sorry about the tears)

A king of both the living and the dead, yet torn apart,

By the warring forces of the molecules within my heart.

wait I’m an idiot, the theme is death

D e a t h

our meeting last week?? that whole conversation??? I could just-

yeah I’m absolutely doing that

"I failed you once, I cannot but repent,

For what was done, had to be done."

"How can that be?" I ask, with discontent,

"Why did you not spare me, I was so young."

Page 2

Oh, Death, you apparition so grim and drear,

you ghostly spectre that haunts our days,

I stand before thee with a heart a-fear, (fear? what fear ?)

And with my soul, I offer up my praise.

For I am but a man, with Death's respect.

(oh my ancients "Monster" by Dodie is a mood )

I stand before Death, barely a human ,

In conversation with the end of all life.

His dark and solemn appearance, a beacon

Of what must come for all in the — afterlife (???)

wow life and afterlife. what a good rhyme, danny. you literary genius.

But Death is kind, and he speaks with gentle tone,

Assuring me that all will soon be known.

“Eight” by Sleeping at Last hurts me in ways I can’t describe

“Now I’m a broken mirror” yeah legit

9w8 enneagram who??

ancients why is writing poetry so hard

A half of my true self, I stand before Death,

With questions of my fate and a crown in my hands .

A king I am, forced to this realm by breath,

Where portals (?) lead to both near and far lands.

This crown upon my head, does it compel

P r o t e c t i o n for my soul, or cause me woe?

the pain, the endless pain rings like a bell

the dead cold in my chest, will I hurt the ones I know?

stop writing about that

yeah let’s restart

conversation with Death last thursday

okay okay think back

Page 3

(sorry for the ectoplasm stains)

I speak to Death, who kneels before my might,

His cloak of shadow draped around his arm.

wait I forgot

fate? respect? sympathy?

he’s a cool guy though

He knelt before me, as if in respect ,

For the power I wield, both bright and fair,

But as our conversation did project,

I saw a glimmer of pityin his stare.

In his eyes, I see a hint of woe,

A sympathy for what I've yet to know.

Though he must serve, his spirit seems to glow

With sadness for the path I must forgo.

I am the ruler of the ghostly land,

Yet Death feels pity for my youthful hand.

(oh ↑↑↑ that’s nice)

"Oh mighty prince," I think he did say,

"You are a creature both fierce and strong,

Yet in your eyes, a sadness does weigh” 

And so I ponder, in my hidden guise,

The fleeting nature of my mortal frame,

As I wander, beneath starry skies,

With only Death, to share my endless pain.

And as I gazed upon Death's countenance,

I felt a pang of sorrow in my chest,

For I, who rule the realms of chance,

Am but a lonely soul, with naught of rest.

oh shit I forgot the formatting

couplet at the end?

yell heah

Page 4

"What brings you to my side?" I ask, arms open wide,

Death marches towards me, with pity in his eyes.

"Is it for the human heart that still beats inside,

or my ghostly side, that wails and cries?”

Death responds, "It is the crown you must bear,

The one that makes you the king of those who fall,

The portals and doors that you must guard,

The core that holds the secrets of them all."

We bow to each other, in respect and might,

For though our paths differ, we share the light.

For I, who once defied death, now do greet him with no fright.

haha fright knight lol

I ask Death the reason I'm still alive;

Why do I walk this earth, a spirit cursed or blessed

With knowledge of what no mortal man can thrive?

"You are above me, a prince oh so bold,"

Death replies, with reverence in his voice,

"You cannot die again, as you have been told, 

for you are balance; given no null choice."

(sorry for the red stains)

I cannot die twice, so I ask, between my cries:

"Why do you kneel for the one who never dies?"

“For you are but a child with the realm at his hand,

and I am but a servant to a god’s command."

no, i’m not a god

.

am I a god?

→ note to self: remember to ask Frostbite later

(how do I talk about being immortal without talking about being immortal)

I am an unknown, a being beyond all that is bound,

And Death, who should have claimed me, kneels to me on the ground.

Page 5

Daniel J. Fenton

November 27th, 2006

Mr. Lancer

English Literature

Final Poem

A hidden enigma, a monster who walks among thee,

In quest of justice and protection true,

Am met by Death, who—with bended knee—

Reveals himself and offers condolences due.

"Why do you kneel?" I ask, with questioning brow.

"Why show such reverence, Death, for me?"

"Because you are above me, Great One, thou

hast power beyond the reach of mortality."

"Yet, I grieve for thee," Death says, "With thy scar,

thou cannot be taken by me, but thou are lost

In a world that knows not what thou really are.

I fail thee, for balance, but at too high a cost.”

And with that, Death took his leave, and I

Was left alone to ponder what had passed by.

toofine: that's danny for you 

Chapter Text

——ooOoo——

[ Monday, 15:32 ]

nottodday: hey what the fuck??

tiffanieandco: is danny. okay?

kylogram: clearly never

starlight: I’m so worried about the dude now :(

starlight: like, seriously worried.

mikerophone: what does this poem even mean ????

mikerophone: I need lancer to analyse this

nateural: oh zone what is UP with danny

nateural: Ik he’s always been weird but this is crossing the line

starlight: did this. actually happen? it can’t actually have happened right. it’s not an anecdote right

ashestoashes: it’s such a sad metaphor D:

tiffanieandco: and wHAT DOES HE MEAN BY BEING A GOD? aint that super pretentious

nottodday: who tf is frostbite? more ominous names

——ooOoo——

[ Monday, 16:41 ]

barbiegirl: I’ve got the tea

100yarddash: what a fuckign mess

ashestoashes: she arrives!

tiffanieandco: she has the tea!! 

barbiegirl: hold up let me send it

barbiegirl: *D2057F29572357.mp4*

Video Transcript

( The video is filmed from the back of the English classroom. Students around the room glance at the rightmost table. Kwan Jae-Hyung wipes his face with his arm while Daniel Fenton uncomfortably reaches out to comfort him. Edward Lancer approaches the duo. Dash Baxter angrily glances over at the scene. )

Dash Baxter: “The fuck did you do to Kwan, Fenton?”

( Edward Lancer steps in between Dash Baxter and Daniel Fenton. From behind the camera, Paulina Sanchez and Brittany Casey can be heard whispering. )

Paulina Sanchez: “Dios mío...”

Brittany Casey: “Wait, wait. Lina, zoom in.”

( Edward Lancer crosses his arms. Daniel Fenton raises both his hands, as if in surrender. Kwan continues to cry, holding various sheets of paper. )

Edward Lancer: “Mr. Fenton, can you tell me what is the meaning of this?”

Daniel Fenton: “Hey, I really didn’t do anything this time. It’s just-”

Kwan Jae-Hyung: “It’s just so SAD!”

Edward Lancer: “Mr. Jae-Hyung, are you alright?”

( Kwan Jae-Hyung takes a deep breath, looking up at the teacher. )

Edward Lancer: “Do you need to step out for a moment, and get some water, and fresh air? I’d be happy to accompany you if needed.”

Kwan Jae-Hyung: “No, no. It’s just-”

Daniel Fenton: “Here we go.”

( Kwan Jae-Hyung turns to face Daniel Fenton. Dash Baxter sits back down, pouting. Edward Lancer tenses his shoulders. )

Kwan Jae-Hyung: “Danny, are you okay? What does this mean? ”

Edward Lancer: “Mr. Fenton?”

Dash Baxter: “ Jeez . Was his poem really that awful?”

Brittany Casey: “I’m so curious right now.”

Paulina Sanchez: “Shut it. I wanna hear them!”

Daniel Fenton: “Kwan, I- Wow, you really are crying! Uh, sorry?”

Kwan Jae-Hyung: “His poetry is just so… It’s so-”

( Edward Lancer places a hand on Kwan Jae-Hyung’s shoulder and reaches to grab the various pages on the table. He turns to face Daniel Fenton. )

Edward Lancer: “May I see your drafts, Mr. Fenton?”

Daniel Fenton: “Sure, Mr. L. I mean, you’d have to see them eventually…”

( Daniel Fenton glances back at his classmate. He gives Kwan Jae-Hyung a gentle smile. Kwan Jae-Hyung looks concerned. Edward Lancer lays his elbows on the table, shuffling through Daniel Fenton’s drafts. The teacher knits his eyebrows. )

Daniel Fenton: “Sorry, man. I knew your reaction was gonna be bad, but I didn’t expect it to be this bad-”

Kwan Jae-Hyung: “You worry me so much, little dude”

Daniel Fenton: “It’s just a poem, Kwan. I swear I’m fine!”

( Kwan Jae-Hyung lifts his arms in indignation. )

Kwan Jae-Hyung: “You don’t seem fine! At least not in your drafts, and not in the group chat. We’ve been seeing such a different side of you lately. And what about those stains?”

Daniel Fenton: “That was from an accident. It doesn’t mean-”

Kwan Jae-Hyung: “I still don’t even understand what your poem even means . It is a metaphor or not? Are you safe? ”

( Many students around the room slightly flinch. Edward Lancer flips through the pages quickly, glancing up and down with wide eyes. He looks up at Daniel Fenton at Kwan Jae-Hyung’s last question. )

Daniel Fenton: “Dude, I’m safe, yeah. But it’s not really a metaphor, no. Just, sorta? I guess? I mean if you interpret it that way-”

Edward Lancer: “Paradise Lost, this is…”

( Edward Lancer quickly paces to his desk, and places down Daniel Fenton’s many drafts. He picks up a small plastic rectangle, tied to a dark green lanyard. He returns to the duo, and stretches a hand out to Kwan Jae-Hyung. )

Edward Lancer: “Kwan, here’s a hall pass. I’ll come with you, so let me know if you need anything. Everyone else, please do continue working on your assignment. And… may I speak with you after class, Daniel?”

( Daniel Fenton sighs in annoyance. )

Daniel Fenton: “ Fine , but call me Danny, not Daniel.”

( Kwan Jae-Hyung stands up from his seat. Edward Lancer guides him towards the door. The student turns around to face Daniel Fenton. )

Daniel Fenton: “For the record, Kwan? Your poem was really good. I like the color motif.”

Kwan Jae-Hyung: “Thanks. And hey, uh, if you need to talk about anything? I’m here, okay?”

( Daniel Fenton slightly chuckles, and picks up Kwan Jae-Hyung’s drafts on the table. )

Daniel Fenton: “Yeah, yeah, sure. I should be the one crying, not you.”

( The teacher and student leave the room. Daniel Fenton bonks his head on the table. )

Daniel Fenton: “Ancients, I knew this was a terrible idea. I can hear Jazz saying ‘I told you so’ from here.”

( The classroom remains in an uncomfortable quiet for a few seconds. When Dash Baxter sighs, everyone seems to relax a little. Dash Baxter looks confused, more than anything. )

Dash Baxter: “What the fuck was that??”

Brittany Casey: “Yeah, Danny- What was in your poem??”

( A few phones around the room make a ‘Ding!’ noise. Brittany grabs her phone in a purple phone case on the desk. She swipes up. Daniel Fenton doesn’t reply, simply grumbling. He still rests his head on the table. )

Brittany Casey: “Wait, look. Kwan sent it in the chat!”

Paulina Sanchez: “Oh, really?”

( The camera quickly shakes and blurs, as Paulina turns her phone around. She did not realize that the recording’s lower quality and faint static were not due to a dirty screen. )

End of video.

queenbree: I still can’t believe all this just happened

ashestoashes: I’m so concerned about danny

starlight: should we talk to his parents??

nottodday: I still need to know what the fuck this poem even MEANS

——ooOoo——

[ Monday, 18:10 ]

localcryptid: heyoo folks! please don’t worry so much? jeez

localcryptid: I’m alright, I swear

kylogram: you don’t SEEM alright

nottodday: yeah what the FUCK danny

toofine: oh ancients

batwoman: we warned you all

girlinred: how was the meeting with lancer?

localcryptid: so funny thing! he knows

batwoman: he knows??

localcryptid: <3

girlinred: OH 

toofine: /pos or /neg?????

localcryptid: /pos 

toofine: oh that’s great then!!

nateural: HE KNOWS WHAT

localcryptid: hehe

mikerophone: bitch wtf???

localcryptid: basically I get assignment extensions now

localcryptid: he asked me to do an analysis on my own poem and, I don’t know, talk about my feelings??

localcryptid: he fr wanted to just give me therapy, but jokes on him! therapists fear me lol

localcryptid: my last one quit his career so it really wouldn’t work

ashestoashes: w h a t did you just say danny

queenbree: danny???

nateural: how does jazz deal with you

100yarddash: explain NOW d a n i e l 

localcryptid: hey shush dashiel , call me danny

100yarddash: just give us ANSWERS

mikerophone: we crave knowledge and understanding please we are beggars

localcryptid: as per teacher request cause he is literally staring over my shoulder right now

localcryptid: here’s an explanation of my poem to calm your nerves. cause like, wtf chill out

localcryptid: so like, idk. basically death is a cool lad. yeah, he’s just a guy, an ancient ghost who’s just doing their job. he’s powerful, for sure. But really he doesn’t actually kill, he just takes dead souls to the ghost zone after they die. to Death, dying is freedom. most can find peace, eternal rest. even those who do become more powerful physical ghosts, they’re free of social boundaries and responsibilities. they’re stuck by their obsessions, yeah, but they don’t need to care and they don’t need to do anything they don’t want. it’s liberty. death sees its job as not just mandatory, but as a good deed to help others escape the pain and suffering of life. So, death pities the living. Death pities those who still feel despair and worry and who are “chained by life” or something like that

localcryptid: idk I forgor what he said exactly

localcryptid: people in Amity see Death’s actions on a daily basis. We escape death, we know what happens in the afterlife, we watch ghost battles and fight for our lives and run and hide. we are alive, and we come to know death to a point where it doesn’t really matter . we’re acquainted with it, cause like, if we did die right now, nothing would really change . there would be no freedom or rest because we know what comes after and we remember. responsibilities are the same, everything would really just be the same even after we die, cause we’re so familiar with ghosts and the afterlife that it would be at most a change in perspective.

localcryptid: so, in a way, death respects us. I mean, I don’t really fear death anymore. death is familiar with what I do, and proud of my past successes. death “kneels”, obviously definitely only in a metaphorical theoretical hypothetical sense, totally not in a literal I-have-more-power-than-Death-themself kind of way

localcryptid: while they pity human life, it also knows that it can’t really just take us easily. we are above death, because we know it’s power, and now we’re friends with those whose lives were taken. I’m friends with ghosts and stuff. if I did die, and like, became a full ghost , my existence wouldn’t really change much I guess? I’d just be overpowered lmao, and nobody really wants that. so it’s just that like, even after death, everything remains the same, and nobody notices, and that’s just how things are. so now death and I are sorta like, uhhh close allies.

localcryptid: Okay my fingers hurt now

localcryptid: is that enough of a generic explanation? are y’all gonna be less worried if I say that it’s a broad metaphor about “knowing what the afterlife is like” and “contemplating ghostliness after death”? is that okay? is that good? are you guys gonna stop panicking now?

localcryptid: okay good! now adios my gf is yelling at me for being an idiot lol

Chapter Text

——ooOoo——

[ Monday, 19:24 ]

ashestoashes: okay that. that does make more sense

mikerophone: actually that’s,, insightful

nottodday: are we brushing off the fact danny knows Death in person or

kylogram: dude it’s a Metaphor

nottodday: yeah if you wanna believe that

tiiffanieandco: OOOOooooooh I understand now!

queenbree: I thought u meant something BAD bad and I was like NO no :((

starlight: oh yeah me too D:

nateural: like okay being familiar with death is one thing but being Familiar with Death is another

100yarddash: ew big paragraphs

100yarddash: btw bro @sinnamonroll are you doing okay? haven’t seen you since last period

sinnamonroll: yeah, I’m okay! I talked to lancer and read your texts and it makes a lot more sense now

girlinred: ancients can we move on from this :/

toofine: I thought you guys knew that danny was really angsty and smarter than he seems

girlinred: like kay we established this already

toofine: no need to be so repetitive

batwoman: I can’t fucking believe danny left fucking ectoplasm stains on his drafts

batwoman: he’s such a dumbass

localcryptid: hey I’m YOUR dumbass

localcryptid: and that’s just what happens when you’re me :P

——ooOoo——

[ Monday, 20:03 ]

jazzhands: what’s with all the commotion here?

jazzhands: … what did danny do now

localcryptid: oh ancients

localcryptid: heyyyyyy jazzie

jazzhands: let me go read.

——ooOoo——

[ Monday, 20:08 ]

jazzhands: I told you so.

localcryptid: I fuckin knew it

jazzhands: We are DEFINTELY talking about this when we get home

localcryptid: j a z z .

jazzhands: Well, at least your writing is good. You’re developing healthier coping mechanisms, but we still need to work on your avoidance

localcryptid: J A S M I N E.

localcryptid: gasp I am OFFENDED how dare

jazzhands: See you tonight, little bro <3

localcryptid: bitchass </3

ashestoashes: wait so is danny a king or nah

barbiegirl: you’re so confused but you’ve got the spirit

sinnamonroll: haha spirit

localcryptid: that depends on what you define as “king”

localcryptid: but well I do slay yassen queenen

girlinred: stfu oh my zone

toofine: you know this whole situation is just so funny to me

queenbree: why funny?

starlight: I mean some of us were really worried about him

toofine: ik, it’s just funny how oblivious this town is

toofine: I mean danny’s hella oblivious too but

toofine: if I told you all that pigs could fly, you would probably just be like “okay! :)”

barbiegirl: to be fair danny’s explanation makes sense. if there’s more to it, then it’s for him to decide to say it or not

barbiegirl: we’re not ignorant . just respectful , at least a little bit

barbiegirl: though I am curious about what lancer knows now

kylogram: pigs can fly?

localcryptid: well in my defense it’s not like I’m really hiding anything, I don’t need to hide

localcryptid: just cause I don’t say something doesn’t mean I’m lying

localcryptid: if y’all ask, I answer with the truth. I don’t really care at this point lmao

100yarddash: just don’t fucking pull another one of these crazy ass stunts that burn our brains

localcryptid: try me xoxo

——ooOoo——

[ Tuesday, 09:38 ]

mikerophone: anyone knows how to complete exercise 26

tiffanieandco: wait you’re actually doing the math worksheet?

tiffanieandco: we’ve got a sub today so I don’t really care

mikerophone: I mean, yeah, it’s the aftermath

mikerophone: get it? :]

tiffanieandco: I wish I didn’t

mikerophone: anyways, we’ve got some tests next week, at least it’s good to be prepared?

tiffanieandco: haha nerd

mikerophone: hey :<

tiffanieandco: wait no, u misunderstand me

tiffanieandco: haha nerd /pos /lh

mikerophone: fuck off (affectionate)

ashestoashes: sghkshkgshgks wow

ashestoashes: y’all are idiots 

——ooOoo——

[ Tuesday, 11:19 ]

kylogram: you know what I’ve been thinking about

queenbree: what?

nottodday: share with the class

kylogram: this groupchat hasn’t even existed for like. a week.

kylogram: and look how much chaos already happened

nottodday: ohhh you’re right yeah

nottodday: friday’s gonna be one week officially

queenbree: hopefully the world doesn’t end by then

nottodday: maybe we’ll get sent to the ghost zone again

queenbree: i mean to be fair in amity park I wouldn’t doubt it

nottodday: bet

kylogram: bet

nottodday: in this class we don’t get a day of rest

kylogram: blame it on danny

queenbree: always blame it on danny

nottodday: speaking of which, has anyone seen him recently?

nottodday: after that whole poem fiasco I was hoping to talk to him

queenbree: mr lancer said his absences are excused now

queenbree: I don’t understand the whole situation but at least I hope it’s working better for him

kylogram: damn what did they talk about in that meeting

nottodday: who fucking knows

girlinred: hey todd stop texting, you said you were doing your part of the research?? 

nottodday: sorry damn I’ll get back to work

girlinred: another strike and I’ll ask falluca to kick you out of our group project

nottodday: >:| rude

——ooOoo——

[ Tuesday, 15:47 ]

kylogram: anyone be down to go to the arcade?

nateural: dude !!

sinnamonroll: it’s a tuesday :/?

kylogram: uh, and?

sinnamonroll: the teachers would kill you if they found you there

nateural: hm

nateural: that’s a great point actually

kylogram: see you there then?

nateural: abso-fucking-lutely

sinnamonroll: I wish I was more surprised

ashestoashes: oh I’m heading down too!! I'm nearby anyways

localcryptid: can sam and I come too? ;P

100yarddash: what about the other nerds?

localcryptid: val’s got work today (L + ratio)

batwoman: tuck said he had to finish an assignment so he’ll skip

ashestoashes: really?? that’s out of place

sinnamonroll: what was it

batwoman: that big lab report

ashestoashes: the one. the one due last week?

localcryptid: ye <3

100yarddash: okay that checks out

kylogram: *in a kuzco voice* ah yes, now it’s all coming together

nottodday: oH I GOT IT 

ashestoashes: hm?

100yarddrash: got what?

nottoday: THEIR GROUP NAME

nottoday: DEFECT QUARTET

localcryptid: BHSKGHSKHGS???

kylogram: LMAO 

sinnamonroll: that’s a little mean but it kinda rhymes so

sinnamonroll: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

batwoman: I was actually thinking of phantastic four

localcryptid: !!!!

nateural: YOU GENIUS

batwoman: yes I know

sinnamonroll: that’s so cool!!

nottodday: you beat me fr

localcryptid: THATS ACTUALLY PERFECT

100yarddash: why ph antastic?

localcryptid: BECAUSE YES!! per ph ection

localcryptid: changing our other chat name rn

——ooOoo——

[ Tuesday, 16:13 ]

ashestoashes: i’m here !!

kylogram: are you coming @localcryptid ? sam said u were in a?? meeting??

localcryptid: yeah and I died of boredom literally, hate being a responsible individual sometimes

localcryptid: DON’T START WITHOUT ME I’M COMING

localcryptid: and in that one mario 4v4 game

localcryptid: nobody choose king boo he’s mine plz I beg

nottodday: too late >:)

localcryptid: nooOOOOOOO

localcryptid: BETRAYAL

localcryptid: I hope all of your socks are slightly moist

nottodday: wow that’s personal

nateural: that hurt me physically

localcryptid: I can and will curse you

tiffanieandco: who’s there btw?

nateural: uhhhh

nateural: me, kyle, sam, and todd for now. ash just arrived, and danny’s coming soon

tiffanieandco: okay! just so I know who I need to make fun of when y’all fail the math test next monday

kylogram: how is sam sO GOOD AT LIKE EVERY GAME WTF

batwoman: I have my secrets.

kylogram: damnnnn

barbiegirl: lancer’s destroyin all of u, you know that oui?

nateural: oui? but don’t you speak spanish?

barbiegirl: I know more than one language??

queenbree: gosh I wish I could join :sob emoji: :sad emoji: :crying emoji: :skull emoji: but I have to babysit the neighbor’s little gremlin of a kid

queenbree: he’s trying to draw phantom and I’m trying so hard not to laugh

queenbree: wait lemme try to get a pic

ashestoashes: oh ancients good luck, ik ur neighbors are pests

barbiegirl: rip bestie </3

queenbree: it’s not working ://

queenbree: wait i’ll put a link

queenbree: 3ewMcfO.png !!

queenbree: he’s,, he’s really putting so much effort,, 

nottodday: ASGJKHSGASKHBGMA

barbiegirl: that’s cute!! the kid has taste in heroes

barbiegirl: how old is he though?

queenbree: older than you’d expect

barbiegirl: okay then he needs some immediate art classes NOW like what is that

localcryptid: BAKGHSKHGSHGBS OH ANCIENTS THATS ADORABLE AND HILARIOUS 

localcryptid: well personally I think phantom looks stunning

kylogram: this is the most accurate depiction of phantom I’ve ever seen

batwoman: can confirm that’s exactly what he looks like up close

localcryptid: this is actually a real life photo guys! trust me, i was there! I was the model!

——ooOoo——

[ Tuesday, 17:23 ]

ashestoashes: wait

ashestoashes: guys

ashestoashes: is that lancer ???

Chapter Text

——ooOoo——

[ Tuesday, 17:24 ]

mikerophone: Lancer’s there???

nottodday: ?? !!! LANCER IS HERE ??!!!

nottodday: FUUCK

queenbree: Oh shit y’all better get out of there

tiffanieandco: You guys are in so much trouble istg

sinnamonroll: run awaaaayyyy 

ashestoashes: No no guys you don’t understand LMAO

100yarddash: what’s lancer doing at the damn arcade?? 

starlight: why is suddenly everyone online? you guys are spamming my phone

kylogram: FzsGYGoXoAcsY7O.jpg 

tiffanieandco: KYLE OMG $@¨&*@¨%@*&

ashestoashes: BAGHAKHGASGSAKHUGSA WHY ARE YOU RIGHT

toofine: nahhhh fr fr

Ashley Gibson has renamed this group “Devil’s Sacrament”

queenbree: AHAHHAHAHAHA OMG

sinnamonroll: does this mean what I think it means ??

nateural: “What do you think I do in my free time?”

100yarddash: BROOOOOO

queenbree: HE’S A TEACHER LOOK AT HIM

queenbree: I DIDN’T THINK HE HAD FREE TME

girlinred: in this economy??

girlinred: feels bad man

barbiegirl: that’s going on the list asap oooh my god

100yarddash: yeaaah lancer is about to get so much street cred at casper

starlight: why wasn’t he this iconic back when we were freshmen >:|

nateural: why the heck is he so good at mortal kombat

nateural: NOOO HE’S BEATING TODD’S ASS

100yarddash: AHAHGAKGASHSGAHK LMAO LOSER

queenbree: I LAUGHED SO HARD I WOKE UP THE KID HELP

queenbree: I GTG HGKSHSG BYE

barbiegirl: adios !! good luck with the kid

mikerophone: if you win can you get extra cred ??

——ooOoo——

[ Tuesday, 18:02 ]

localcryptid: OH FOTHERMUCKER NO WAY

localcryptid: @toofine hey remember that one time when were inside DOOMED and some bitch stole all of our keys

toofine: y

toofine: you mean ATRE1D3S?

localcryptid: YEP !!

localcryptid: you’ll never fucking guess

toofine: yu gotta be kidding me

starlight: is that a dune reference? 

batwoman: have you met edward william lancer?? he’s a fuckin literature nerd, of course it is

starlight: full name? go off ig

tiffanieandco: @localcryptid fothermucker??

localcryptid: yell heah. fothermucker.

tiffanieandco: what’s up with you and switching the letters

localcryptid: its fun?? I like changing things, transforming them yk.. by swapping them around !! balancing out opposites, turning black into white, etc >:P

barbiegirl: wow poetic much? no wonder u got an A in your mess of an assignment

sinnamonroll: (in hindsight that poem did kinda go hard fr)

toofine: BROOOO GBSHKGSHKHGS ANCIENTS DANNY 

mikerophone: wait oh yeah can someone ask him about the meeting with danny

mikerophone: like what did they talk about

localcryptid: wowww what about my Privacy? i’m right here? what am I, transparent? invisible?

girlinred: DANNY

girlinred: literally stop omfg

toofine: shhhhh let him ramble

nottodday: wait mikey uhh

nottodday: “what happens with my students” blah blah “confidential” yadda yadda

tiffanieandco: boooooo, tomato tomato

100yarddash: rules? ew

ashestoashes: HOLDUP YALL

ashestoashes: “Plus, I taught you all to be inquisitive. It’s best if you all find out on your own. Before you run out of time, of course. I’d rather not lose the bet.”

nottodday: and he just went back to playing fucking luigi’s mansion

starlight: wtf does that Mean??

barbiegirl: we’re on a timer? do we need to start investigating

tiffanieandco: wait question @ danny would luigi be a good ghost hunter

localcryptid: actually yea luigi goes for the catch-and-release method with low level ghosts, so he’s already better than most lmao

localcryptid: and paulie? probably ye <3

toofine: WAIT @localcryptid IS LANCER IN ON THE BET NOW??

localcryptid: Yaaa and he thinks it’ll be some stupid lovey-dovey power of friendship shit

girlinred: well, that’s an L for him

girlinred: he has too much faith in everyone,,,,, somehow?

barbiegirl: Heyyy what bet?

sinnamonroll: oop @localcryptid @toofine @girlinred?

localcryptid: mmmmmmmm

girlinred: won't telling people about the bet ruin the bet?

localcryptid: yeah buuuut… sure lmao

localcryptid: well tell u l8r tho, when we leave here :P

sinnamonroll: aight!!

100yarddash: you just love being an enigma huh? 

batwoman: oh you have no fuckin idea

localcryptid: phuck around and phind out >;^)

——ooOoo——

[ Tuesday, 18:31 ]

ashestoashes: update: kyle just beat the town record in ddr

tiffanieandco: NO WAAAYYY

sinnamonroll: g job man !!!

nateural: how he so good legit?? the last record here was near perfect points

kylogram: there was a Pump It Up in the back of the blockbuster i worked at, spent my breaks jammin’

tiffanieandco: that’s sm king behavior

localcryptid: can confirm

——ooOoo——

[ Tuesday, 19:02 ]

mikerophone: so did any of yall get extra credit for beating lancer?

batwoman: kyle got a bonus point on monday's test, cause of the ddr record

kylogram: suck it tiffanie

nottodday: that’s unfair >:[ I was distracted when lancer KOed me, I deserve extra cred too

100yarddash: lmaooo you really lost to a teacher

nottodday: don’t do me dirty like that bro D:<

girlinred: life aint fair homie

kylogram: sorry I girlbossed too hard uwu

100yarddash: do not EVER type that again EVER or I WILL throw hands

kylogram: owo?

100yarddash: excuse me I need to go bleach my eyes

kylogram: >w< signing off!!1! byeee~ XD

100yarddash: burn it now burn it with fire

——ooOoo——

[ Tuesday, 21:25 ]

sinnamonroll: pay up @localcryptid @girlinred @toofine

sinnamonroll: also I’m assuming @batwoman too (?)

toofine: oh yeah legit

localcryptid: i forgor lol

starlight: spill the beans, we’re curious 

barbiegirl: STILL want to know what your meeting with lancer was about

barbiegirl: and now there’s a bet I hear?

localcryptid: do you guys have a gossip obsession or smth

starlight: there’s a reason we were called the A-Listers™️

batwoman: because you guys were so high in the social hierarchy that you thought rules didn’t apply to you?

girlinred: because they were so high in the social hierarchy that they knew Everything

girlinred: that too tho

localcryptid: y’all didn’t know everything tho <3

100yarddash: yeah cause u’re still a cryptic mfer

localcryptid: aw thx! learned from the best (clockwork)

nottodday: This clockwork fucker AGAIN?? UGHH who the fuck is that bitch??

localcryptid: oooh I would NOT call mr. pocket watch that

batwoman: maybe that’s the reason he lost to lancer in mortal kombat

localcryptid: oh yeah you’re actually so right

girlinred: it was a canon event

nottodday: and what does THAT mean??

girlinred: you’ll get it someday

nottodday: please I’m begging just throw some breadcrumbs about what the Fuck you’re talking about Ever

barbiegirl: not to be desperate like todd…

barbiegirl: but yea, the phantastic four confuse me more than I want to admit

sinnamonroll: if you’re all willing to share ofc, we’re def REALLY willing to listen

toofine: @localcryptid ?

localcryptid: yeah let’s get down to business

sinnamonroll: (…to defeat the huns?)

localcryptid: DID THEY SEND ME DAUGHTEEERS

localcryptid: WHEN I AAASKED FOR SONS

girlinred: can u ever focus pls?

localcryptid: no u

girlinred: then perish

localcryptid: already have

100yarddash: UGH get to the point

barbiegirl: yeah, what was the bet?

batwoman: alright, everyone shush

batwoman: last friday, jazz made this groupchat for schoolwork, right?

batwoman: except a week later, AKA this friday, is an important day

starlight: well it is the last day of class before test week right? thus why the study groupchat.. which we are definitely misuing

barbiegirl: UGHHHH do NOT remind me girlie

100yarddash: fuuck i’m gonna get screwed so bad on monday

sinnamonroll: I have no clue what we’ve been learning in physics :{ 

nottodday: ME NEITHER HGKSHGSK 

nottodday: PLS send me a study guide if u have one

barbiegirl: I’ll give u my notes 2morrow !!

sinnamonroll: omg ty lifesaver

girlinred: *clears throat* UHUM??

nottodday: oh oops

girlinred: well @starlight that is true, but thats not what were really talking about

starlight: why's friday an important day, then?

localcryptid: that's what you guys have to find out !!

localcryptid: this friday is a pretty big day for me. and like, for everyone everywhere ever

localcryptid: a lot of stuff’s gonna change (read: sure I got promoted on my big day but they’re only making shit Official on the beating-ass-iversary)

localcryptid: and apparently according to the eye bitches, everyone in Amity will kinda Have to know shit, so I should make things public soon

localcryptid: except that’s not fun >:P

localcryptid: so we’re gonna see if you guys can figure it out before friday

nottodday: … eye bitches? 

starlight: he did mention a meeting with “the stupid eye people” a few days ago? you know, when he was sleep deprived

nottodday: legit legit, who are they tho ?? I thought they were just danny's sleep paralysis demons

localcryptid: guess <3 

sinnamonroll: I can already tell the rest of this week will be a nightmare

barbiegirl: ooooh, I do love myself a mystery !!

barbiegirl: wdym promoted? so friday is the "beating-ass-iversary"??

localcryptid: yeah lol

barbiegirl: brb settin up the slideshow for the next phanclub meeting

toofine: oh yell heah >:)

girlinred: yeah, if we can’t hide it anymore, we’ll at least make it entertaining for us (:

nottodday: so you’re telling me you guys aren’t just quirky and not like other girls?

girlinred: hilarious. do you like your bones?

100yarddash: okay but in their defence

localcryptid: in OUR defence??? omg baxter that’s so sweet <3 

100yarddash: shut it

100yarddash: remember when our parents were taken mid fresham year?

barbiegirl: oh yeah, I had to give tucker a makeover, it was traumatizing

toofine: hey !!!

barbiegirl: sorry but back then?? your skincare routine wasn’t giving 

sinnamonroll: giving what?

100yarddash: the weirdo trio was kind of the reason we managed to get them back? they know their stuff somehow. they’re packing secrets

100yarddash: idk what your all hiding but were def gonna find out 

batwoman: you’re*

100yarddash: omfg shut it

starlight: so tl;dr…

starlight: you guys are keeping a big ass secret for years , and are making bets ( with mr lancer??? ) about how we find it out? just like that?

localcryptid: or IF you find out !!!

localcryptid: i still think y’all won’t be able to figure it out before friday

localcryptid: i’m a great actor yk

batwoman: you told ms. tetslaff you broke your leg cause the parkour ghost possessed you

localcryptid: okay but

toofine: “what happened to your eyes?” “yknow what they say about the toxic water in amity..”

localcryptid: but dude

batwoman: "oh I just ate strange mushrooms i find growing in the lab"

toofine: “My homework drowned in lake eerie”

girlinred: “sorry I’m late! the box ghost mugged me”

localcryptid: GUYS

batwoman: “I ate a glowstick when I was three, that’s why”

toofine: “what happened? oh, my fridge attacked me”

localcryptid: THAT ONE WAS TRUE THOUGH

girlinred: “I couldn’t do my homework” “why?” “hot sauce accident”

localcryptid: NO STOP THAT ONE IS JUST RUDE

localcryptid: YOU’RE MEAN

toofine: low blow val omg

girlinred: haha blow

localcryptid: I never should have told u about that, ancients fuck

starlight: somehow you guys just keep getting more confusing

girlinred: just sm inside jokes, but basically

girlinred: danny is just terrible at lying about this

girlinred: thus why I bet he’s just gonna let it slip

girlinred: like he did with me

localcryptid: nuh uh I did not let it slip with you

girlinred: danny,

girlinred: d a n n y ,

girlinred: you literally slipped off the roof when I found out

localcryptid: ... touché

localcryptid: but tbf you met my cousin first so you already had almost all the pieces

sinnamonroll: I didn’t know you had cousins?

localcryptid: oops

girlinred: what did I tell you

localcryptid: shhhhhh

toofine: have you met paulina though? the phanclub will figure it out fast, she’s already making slides for it & everythin

barbiegirl: gracias ????

toofine: it’s not the compliment you think it is

batwoman: they’ll find it out as a joke. idk how it’ll happen, but it’s definitely gonna be stupid

sinnamonroll: well do you guys want us to find out or not??

toofine: you’ll have to find out eventually so, yes? but like

localcryptid: it’s more silly goofy this way

toofine: exactly

nottodday: why can’t yall just TELL US GRAHHHHHHH

girlinred: cause your blind reactions are hilarious 

nottodday: damn >:|

batwoman: I’ll say the same thing I said when danny joined the gc

batwoman: good luck, you WILL need it

queenbree: neighbor gremlin is asleep again FINALLY. ugh

queenbree: uhhh what did I miss??

Chapter Text

——ooOoo——

[ Wednesday, 11:09 ]

nateural: lol I Cannot take lancer seriously anymore after yesterday

nottodday: saaaame

nottodday: I can’t deal with any more poetry review sheets

starlight: he’s trying at least :”)

nottodday: yeah but we’re staring the dystopian unit after test week

nottodday: and how dare he NOT pick ready player 1

nottodday: if he is such a true pro gamer then hed sure love it

tiffanieandco: in his defence (and my shame) rp1 is more sci-fi than dystopian ? I think ??

starlight: I really love the book were reading

ashestoashes: SAME !! margaret atwood babygirl <#

starlight: reading handmaids tale again is so fun, I’m a sucker for foreshadowing <3

100yarddash: y’all know there’s a tv show right

mikerophone: how dare you

starlight: dash the show was also made by atwood, but the plot is very different

starlight: most of the book is just season 1

100yarddash: sparknotes here I come

barbiegirl: am I the only one who feels bad for the wife?

starlight: serena joy?

nateural: YES you are. I hate her

mikerophone: same same ugh

sinnamonroll: I feel really bad for her :( shes kinda a victim too

starlight: serena joy sacrificed everything so she wouldn’t be controlled by the system, even if that meant hurting others… this life is much worse than the one she expected

mikerophone: how can u feel bad??? she hurt others voluntarily, it doesn’t matter if it gave her power or not. she just became part of the problem

batwoman: funny how past a-listers are serena joy apologists

sinnamonroll: . oh

100yarddash: oh fuck off

starlight: … you got me there

ashestoashes: so real omg,,,

ashestoashes: @mikerophone now fall on the floor

mikerophone: wh.. why

ashestoashes: mic drop

batwoman: oh ancients that was awful

tiffanieandco: BSHKHGHKSHKGS OMG THAT WAS GREAT

——ooOoo——

[ Wednesday, 13:06 ]

kylogram: ughhhh not to like,, bother the lunch lady again or anything

kylogram: but WHY ARE WE OUT OF MAYO

toofine: pretty sure skulker accidentally exploded the entire stock a bit ago

toofine: school couldn’t really order more yet, so…

kylogram: you gotta be fckin kiddin me

kylogram: MY MAYONNAISE

toofine: L + ratio

kylogram: how am I going to eat anything without mayo… my steak my rice my lettuce

kylogram: my life is a lie everything is an illusion

kylogram: HOW CAN I LIVE IN THESE CONDITIONS,, WHAT DO I DO

barbiegirl: stop spamming the gc kyle, damn

barbiegirl: it’s just mayo

100yarddash: WHY ARE WE OUT OF MAYO

barbiegirl: no mames wey

girlinred: @kylogram starve

kylogram: valerieeee kind as usual

girlinred: I have enough notifications already so stfu

kylogram: but D: my MAYO 

girlinred: stop committing food crimes kyle

kylogram: oh so you drink One (1) orange joe

girlinred: you put ketchup on SUSHI

kylogram: so what? it’s good

girlinred: your gluttonous sins are beyond mortal understanding

kylogram: my throne of shamelessness is above your criticism

girlinred: I’ll put mustard in your food

kylogram: N O ! ! !

kylogram: you wouldn’t

girlinred: you don’t know what i’ve seen. you don’t know what i can do. you don’t know who i am.

girlinred: i will become violent. i have committed atrocities you wouldn’t even imagine. and i will do not hesitate to do them again

kylogram: *chuckles* im in danger

girlinred: brb gonna go get some mustard

kylogram: oh no

kylogram: valerie plz no

kylogram: … val?? valerie?? hello??????

——ooOoo——

[ Wednesday, 14:10 ]

queenbree: @kylogram I was gonna ask why you look miserable

queenbree: but i scrolled up

queenbree: i get it now

queenbree: my condolences

nateural: val is BRUTAL do not test her (trust me)

kylogram: this is considered psychological torture in some nations

tiffanieandco: @ everybody hey has anyone seen danny?

tiffanieandco: I needed to bring him the chem assignment

nateural: @jazzhands ?

nottodday: I doubt jazz would check her phone during class

jazzhands: Nope! I’m here :)

jazzhands: We’re allowed to use our phones for research, sometimes

jazzhands: Though, to answer your question, I do not

tiffanieandco: oh huh

jazzhands: I’m sure he’ll be just fine! Danny will surely come back soon.

jazzhands: hopefully

sinnamonroll: he left class this morning, nobody’s seen him since

sinnamonroll: the phantastic quartet looks really nervous :( do you think something happened?

100yarddash: what are the chances he just skipped tbh

jazzhands: Danny would never skip class just to slack off. If he’s not around, he has his reasons.

nottodday: sus

queenbree: honestly I think we’ll all used to dany just disappearing ever so often

sinnamonroll: yeah but… if even his friends are worried, then smth must have happened, right?

nottodday: with his track record of attracting danger?? a ghost prob kidnapped him or smth

nateural: I wouldn’t doubt it lol

tiffanieandco: I mean… seriously though

tiffanieandco: heard there was a ghost fight earlier today

tiffanieandco: it wasn’t flashy or dangerous or anything tho

tiffanieandco: pretty sure it was just directed at phantom? personal vendetta kinda thing

sinnamonroll: oh yeah! he handled it as usual?

100yarddash: phantom is SO COOL

tiffanieandco: @sinnamonroll not sure yet, they both just vanished

tiffanieandco: don’t know much about what happened, my mom was in the area so she just summarized

jazzhands: Oh no.

nottodday: any news from the fentons? 

nateural: if danny was taken by a ghost, we’d be hearing sirens lmao

nateural: sorry jazz but they are. so loud. so so loud

jazzhands: Our parents are out of town at a convention. They left yesterday night. They wouldn’t be able to do much if something did happen to him.

jazzhands: I’m sure he’ll be alright. Danny always comes back.

nateural: sounds more like you’re trying to convince yourself

——ooOoo——

[ Wednesday, 19:06 ]

tiffanieandco: ended up taking the chem sheet home >:|

tiffanieandco: does anyone have the answers to part 2?

starlight: there’s a pdf sent to our emails with the answer sheet

starlight: so we can check later

tiffanieandco: damn I didn’t receive it

kylogram: me neither? rude

ashestoashes: our class did? maybe they just forgor to send it to yall

starlight: dw I’ll forward it

kylogram: thank you lifesaver

nottodday: bless the answer key cause I was SO LOST on how to do the 3rd problem

nottodday: wtf is a molecular geometry bro

nateural: chemistry? more like che-mystery

starlight: ahahah oh my god I love that joke

nateural: thanks I stole it

——ooOoo——

[ Thursday, 08:16 ]

tiffanieandco: still no news from danny?

tiffanieandco: @localcryptid? 

tiffanieandco: I’m tired of carrying this around

mikerophone: @batwoman @girlinred @toofine @jazzhands ?

ashestoashes: you all better explain at some point

jazzhands: We would, if we knew where he was.

jazzhands: We can’t let ourselves panic right now.

girlinred: just waiting for that bastard to get some signal again and text us

toofine: he just does stuff like this sometimes

toofine: it’s fine !! it’s really fine he’s fine

batwoman: it WAS fine yesterday when we thought he was with clockwork 

batwoman: but NO. he WASN’T.

batwoman: shit goes down TOMORROW  and it's gonna change EVERYTHING

barbiegirl: oh?

batwoman: if things go south, who knows what the Observants are going to do

jazzhands: Let’s keep this conversation going in our other groupchat, alright? 

girlinred: does it really make a difference at this point jazz

toofine: val is right, you know..

batwoman: we should reach out to cw again, he has to know where danny is

girlinred: do you think the frootloop is related?

toofine: no, he hasn’t pulled stuff like this in ages

toofine: if it’s anyone, it’s someone new

batwoman: this is NOT the time for another one of danny’s disappearing acts

jazzhands: Other. Group. Chat.

jazzhands: :)

nottodday: WHAT IS A CLOCKWORK GODDAMN IT

nottodday: and.. observants?? what are Observants why is the O capitalized

tiffanieandco: the eye bitches…

nottodday: ARE WE BEING WATCHED? or like??? what??

mikerophone: hopefully we get a sign of danny soon

——ooOoo——

[ Thursday, 09:42 ]

queenbree: does anyone have a calculator I can borrow?

nateural: I’ve got an extra in my locker

queenbree: thx

——ooOoo——

[ Thursday, 10:53 ]

sinnamonroll: @100yarddash you left ur phone at the gym !! I have it with me

sinnamonroll: .

sinnamonroll: oh wait

kylogram: lol

——ooOoo——

[ Thursday, 11:26 ]

mikerophone: there's pasta for lunch today btw (:

ashestoashes: oh slay

——ooOoo——

[ Thursday, 13:19 ]

tiffanieandco: hate to bring this up again

tiffanieandco: but danny’s absence has never made me this

tiffanieandco: anxious

nottodday: UGH SAME thx for bringing it up

nottodday: I’ve been tense all day

tiffanieandco: legit! we need to find out Something before tomorrow

tiffanieandco: and we’re still no closer to finding out

tiffanieandco: whatever it is

nottodday: ig we just wait for now

tiffanieandco: yeah...

——ooOoo——

[ Thursday, 14:58 ]

localcryptd: @ THE SPOT!1!! not ussual ones, wntd rng n crpwn, was rough bt gottem

localcryptd: Scrreaming Fan rn so bw carefull

localcryptid: burnt sjoulder, stab wound needs stitchhes, I think twoo broken ribs? bring 1st aid kit

localcryptid: DOMT FIRGET THE SYRINGE THS TIME PLEASW

ashestoashes: ??

localcryptid: sjit

localcryptid: wrong gc ugnore plz

sinnamonroll: STAB WOUND???? NEEDS STICHES??

100yarddash: FENTON WHERE TF ARE YOU ??

nottodday: danny’s in a gang danny’s totally in a gang

mikerophone: anyone know why the phan four just rushed out of the room

mikerophone: OH THIS IS WHY

ashestoashes: @jazzhands ???? @batwoman @toofine @girlinred ????

queenbree: @localcryptid ??????????????????????

mikerophone: what do we do?????

nateural: CALL AN AMBULANCE?????

barbiegirl: ugh wtf

mikerophone: lancer just… did lancer really just say that

nateural: WHY DID LANCER SAY ITS FINE??????

sinnamonroll: IT’S !!! NOT !!! FINE !!!!!!!

100yarddash: if that guy dies i’ll literally kill him

tiffanieandco: DON’T JOKE ABOUT THAT

starlight: we need to do something

ashestoashes: but WHAT DO WE EVEN DO

queenbree: @everyone calm tf down! 

queenbree: we can’t do anything if we’re panicking

ashestoashes: does anyone know where they went???

tiffanieandco: is he going to be okay??

ashestoashes: jazz just ran past our window,, oh boy

nottodday: what syringe was he talking about? and like..

sinnamonroll: should we call the nurse? the police?? D:

nottodday: “this time” 

nottodday: they’ve totally done this before right

100yarddash: tf do you mean

kylogram: wtf are u talkin about

queenbree: o shit ur right todd

queenbree: this isn’t a one-time thing

tiffanieandco: DON’T JUST SAY STUFF LIKE THAT

queenbree: “at the spot” ?? they have a spot

starlight: what’s a “Screaming Fan” ??

ashestoashes: do they have gc just for stuff like this???? is danny okay ever???

100yarddash: there’s no way this is a normal thing

100yarddash: we’d know if fenton got messed up like that before

100yarddash: right????

nateural: maybe you didn’t notice back then cz you thought you did it

nottodday: wtf man

sinnamonroll: not cool D:< dash would never go that far

100yarddash: dude not even Dale wld do all that

100yarddash: this is insane

starlight: lancer gave us a break 

barbiegirl: whatever secret danny has, lancer knows

barbiegirl: if he says it's fine, then all this is related

nateural: lancer looks so nervous tho…

tiffanieandco: falluca went to the bathroom earlier

tiffanieandco: so he doesn’t even know aboutthe situation yet

sinnamonroll: @starlight @100yarddash whats going on over there?

starlight: val and tucker ran out as soon as we got the text

100yarddash: we might split up to look for them

starlight: rn it’s just me, dash, nate and mikey

starlight: and lancer

100yarddash: fuck lancers rules why isn’t he letting us leave till the bell wtf

ashestoashes: I guess it’s best to keep everyone in sight

tiffanieandco: splitting up would be bad

tiffanieandco: we dont wanna get lost with a ghost out

nottodday: what if it’s not a ghost? what if it’s a person

nateural: oh god no

sinnamonroll: don’t even think about what you’re thinking 

queenbree: @barbiegirl what do we do when falluca comes back

100yarddash: just ditch him and go search

100yarddash: theres literally nobody watching over yall

barbiegirl: shut it pendejo

barbiegirl: I’d rather not be murdered today thx xoxo

ashestoashes: are we gonna die???

queenbree: we are NOT gonna die ashley

tiffanieandco: we’ll be alright :(

sinnamonroll: what if we pulled the ghost alarm??

sinnamonroll: get everyone to leave in case something happens 

starlight: do we even know he’s still somewhere in school

mikerophone: they’re all at fentonworks

kylogram: how the heck do you know that

kylogram: telepath

mikerophone: phone gps? duh

nottodday: so we all go there after school right

nateural: they left their stuff behind 

nateural: should we check their bags for anything

tiffanieandco: that seems like a bad idea

queenbree: tho we could bring them their bags as an excuse

queenbree: like, we need to go see them either way

100yarddash: fuck it i’m gonna open it

sinnamonroll: don’t man, wat about lancer

starlight: lancer looks too exhausted to deal with this

starlight: as long as we stay in the room I don’t think he’ll do anything

barbiegirl: @100yarddash what did you find ?? do tell

nottodday: I’ll look in sams too

mikerophone: @barbiegirl i’ll narrate it for you guys

mikerophone: tucker left his pda in his bag

mikerophone: wait there’s. oh

sinnamonroll: what??

mikerophone: oh wtf there’s a LOT of weapons in tuckers bag

ashestoashes: todd found a fucking summoning book?? ritual?? thing???

nateural: lancer is PALE rn

queenbree: wtf wtf wtf wtf

mikerophone: his stuff is uh. there’s a lot of stains

sinnamonroll: just like danny’s drafts

sinnamonroll: ectoplasm and

queenbree: oh god it was blood it was 100% blood

starlight: this goes WAY deeper than we'd ever expect

barbiegirl: I think the worst part is that they want us to solve it

barbiegirl: culeros made bets on how we’d figure it out

ashestoashes: EVERYONE SHUSH just let mikey and I say what’s happening

ashestoashes: found anything else?

mikerophone: dash just dumped danny’s bag on the floor

mikerophone: his phone isn’t here obviously but mainly same thing

mikerophone: extra clothing with stains, squished up papers, weapons

ashestoashes: fentonworks weapons?

mikerophone: mainly yeah

mikerophone: but some. aren’t

ashestoashes: sam has a thermos in her bag too

mikerophone: I think they all have thermoses

mikerophone: oh smth else fell from danny’s bag

mikerophone: KHGSKGS HE JUST HAS PURE ECTOPLASM IN A STARBUCKS CUP??

ashestoashes: shit falluca is coming back soon

ashestoashes: do we tell him? about the whole. everything

mikerophone: “I dont think so. the more people involved, the more confusing it will get” - star

ashestoashes: paulie agrees

ashestoashes: alright, we’ll clean stuff up and keep this under wraps till the day ends

mikerophone: ok ok

——ooOoo——

[ Thursday, 15:08 ]

mikerophone: guys

mikerophone: we found some uh

mikerophone: some things

mikerophone: just let us know when y’all see this

mikerophone: val’s bag had files on some ghosts, full detective style

mikerophone: skulker, ember, even boxy

mikerophone: the Observants are some sort of council? they watch over everything like judges

mikerophone: looks like the file on plasmius was ripped up

mikerophone: @nottodday clockwork is uh. he’s the god of time? apparently? or something like that. manages the timestream in parallel dimensions of the multiverse, that kind of thing

mikerophone: labeled as "danny's guardian"...

mikerophone: val’s bag... it also had weapons and a thermos

mikerophone: a red thermos

mikerophone: Red’s thermos

mikerophone: lancer didn’t seem to know about that. so he just uh. stood up and left.

mikerophone: star says to meet in front of fentonworks @ 4pm to uh

mikerophone: figure out what to do, what all this means

——ooOoo——

[ Thursday, 15:13 ]

ashestoashes: oh

ashestoashes: that’s a lot

ashestoashes: okay we’ll uh

ashestoashes: we’ll see you there

nottodday: CLOCKWORK IS THE WHAT

Chapter Text

——ooOoo——

[ Thursday, 16:06 ]

tiffanieandco: I’M HERE

nateural: Hold up im coming

queenbree: Be there in 2 !!

starlight: Dash and I are waiting by the front steps

kylogram: Is there anyone even home??

starlight: I don't think so, the drs only come back later tonight

100yarddash: We could break in

barbiegirl: Im here !!

ashestoashes: @100yarddash I dont think thats a good idea

ashestoashes: That place has so much security

tiffanieandco: "death trap literally"

tiffanieandco: That’s what danny said

nateural: @mikerophone you know where they are?

mikerophone: Theyre def still inside

mikerophone: or at least their phones are there?

100yarddash: @sinnamonroll where are you???

sinnamonroll: I stopped by the vending machine

sinnamonroll: Bought them some snacks

ashestoashes: Oh awww?

sinnamonroll: I thought it would be a nice gesture <3

starlight: it is !! <3

sinnamonroll: Since we're 

sinnamonroll: Uh

sinnamonroll: Judt casually walking up to their house

sinnamonroll: While dannys probably like

sinnamonroll: bleeding to death

sinnamonroll: suffering and

queenbree: NO ANGST ON MAIN KWAN

queenbree: we are here for ANSWERS and FLUFF AND HUMOR

queenbree: Would danny want us to be upset? No

queenbree: He would want us to joke about all this

tiffanieandco: Stop talking about him like hes already dead

kylogram: Sometimes I can still hear his voice…

ashestoashes: Okay im across the street be right there

queenbree: Does anyone know how to take care of broken bones??

queenbree: Just. Just in case.

nateural: Danny asked the four to bring a 1st aid kit so

nateural: maybe?? they do?????

100yarddash: Hownoften does danny get stabbed

mikerophone: WHO STABBED HIM??

barbiegirl: … probably a ghost?

b arbiegirl: "Not usual ones" doesn't make the attacker sound too Human

barbiegirl: "not the usual group of human beings?" that's just like… not a thing you say, right?

sinnamonroll: I'm like 5 mins away

sinnamonroll: go in without me

tiffanieandco: No, you're the one with the offerings

sinnamonroll: offerings??? theyre gifts!

barbiegirl: Same difference

sinnamonroll: They're NOT DEAD

nateural: Yet

sinnamonroll: STAWP D:

nottodday: So are they helping the huntress or??

nottodday: Sorry im just

nottodday: look I’m walking over there and

nottodday: and Im still caught up on this

starlight: UNDERSTANDABLE 

nottodday: So val is like. Like okay she carries Red's thermos around

nottodday: Doesnt mean she IS the huntress right

nateural: We'd know if she was, right??

100yarddash: well we clearly dont know shit 

barbiegirl: Quartet clearly knows a LOT about ghosts

barbiegirl: They've been to the zone,

barbiegirl: They're friends with ghosts,

barbiegirl: They're keeping secrets,

queenbree: Then there's all those files

mikerophone: Didn't val have two jobs

nateural: Theres her job @ the nasty burger

nateural: And then theres. What else??

ashestoashes: … she never actually said

kylogram: Ah fuck

tiffanieandco: We cant jump to conclusions people

nottodday: the red huntress saw me simping for her

nottodday: Literally right in front of her

nottodday: in the main chat

tiffanieandco: LOL

nottodday: Im going to melt

nottodday: Goodbye guys

nottodday: I’ve been turned into soup

starlight: We dont actually know if she's the huntress or not

starlight: Not confirmed at least

barbiegirl: denial is a river in egypt girlie

mikerophone: But thats just a theory

nateural: A game theory

nateural: @sinnamonroll ur taking too long

nateural: we’re almost all here

100yarddash: Can't u speed up bro

sinnamonroll: I am carrying a LOT OF COMFORT FOOD

sinnamonroll: GIMME A SEC

barbiegirl: UGHH I can't wait any longer

100yarddash: TIME TO BREAK IN

ashestoashes: NO

kylogram: This reminds me

kylogram: So. dannys "guardian"

kylogram: Literally. Time? God of time??

nottodday: These fuckers Know the embodiment of Time

nottodday: I can’t handle this shit

starlight: Didn't Kronos eat his kids?

mikerophone: That's a Different time entity

mikerophone: If I had to guess this clockwork guy is prob above Kronos

kylogram: Dkjfdk okay but clockwork is such a lame ass name

kylogram: Like oooh cower before the most powerful omniscient beings !! We've got CHRONOS! MINERVA! ODIN! 

kylogram: And then there's just a guy named after fucking pocket watch gear

queenbree: hEY 

queenbree: YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT ABOUT TIME

kylogram: IM TRYING TO COPE WITH ALL THIS OKAY

kylogram: YOU TOLD US TO BE SILLY!! IM BEING SILLY!! 

kylogram: I'm sure mr. rolex would understand

nottodday: Ahhh shit I insulted an eldritch god 

nottodday: I INSULTED TIME

nottodday: Okay yeah I see why I lost at mortal kombat

nottodday: My bad mr time sir

tiffanieandco: So wait

tiffanieandco: Danny's poems right

sinnamonroll: Don't bring that up again plz istg

nateural: I mean… we all agree this is all messed up right

nateural: Death was for sure literal there right??? cz like

mikerophone: One of the files we found with val mentioned Death™

mikerophone: Not in too much detail but

mikerophone: But still

ashestoashes: Ughhfhfhksjd brain turning INTO MUSH

nottodday: grabbing my brain and twisting it like a wet towel

ashestoashes: LITERALLY YEAH

barbiegirl: … santa mierda I'm gonna kill val

mikerophone: What why?

barbiegirl: If she's THE HUNTRESS

barbiegirl: How many times did she hurt phantom???

nateural: But they're friends now right?

barbiegirl: Yeah but carajo she did so much bad stuff to him

barbiegirl: poor ghost boi :(

ashestoashes: Oh shit if we’re right

ashestoashes: she started when she was 14

starlight: AFTER AXIOM

tiffanieandco: DKFJSNFNDHF

starlight: !!!!!!!

starlight: REMEMBER WHEN THAT HAPPENED 

tiffanieandco: HOLY SHIT YOU'RE RIGHT 

starlight: UGHHH WE WERE SUCH BITCHES TO HER

ashestoashes: ah damn we were assholes weren't we

starlight: She was dealing with losing everything

starlight: And fighting ghosts

starlight: And we still distanced ourselves…

queenbree: No surprise she befriended the trio after that

nottodday: … do you think we could get a signature?

nateural: ayo?

nottodday: val is objectively awesome okay

nottodday: literally everyone agrees

ashestoashes: @nottodday after everything we’ve done? probably no signature :[

ashestoashes: also, after literally going through their bags?? definitely not

nateural: let’s just hope they don’t hate us

tiffanieandco: no!! no negativity!

sinnamonroll: arrival :D

barbiegirl: arrival !! 

barbiegirl: okay 

barbiegirl: vamonos

——ooOoo——

[ Thursday, 17:20 ]

queenbree: @barbiegirl ??

barbiegirl: jajaja yeah ofc I’ll send it

barbiegirl: * LIST_F42_val_HUNTRESS.mp3*

——ooOoo——

Audio Transcript

( The audio begins with a sudden cracking noise, as if someone were covering the microphone. There is a faint eerie static in the background. The recording gets muffled, but faint conversations can be heard. All noise reverberates on thick metal walls. )

Tucker Folley: "Is this really necessary?"

Paulina Sanchez: "Look—if you guys want us to solve whatever little puzzle you’ve been making, then I want at least some sort of record!"

Samantha Manson: "It’s not some puzzle. It’s just, you know, our biggest secrets?"

Daniel Fenton: "It's fine, Ah —"

( There is a sudden wheezing sound, like a sharp intake of breath. At the same time, Paulina Sanchez winces uncomfortably, followed by a faint: "Qué horror." Daniel Fenton speaks between clenched teeth for a few seconds. ) 

Daniel Fenton: "We just— we wanted to make it fun, right? Let her do her thing."

( A loud stampede descends a staircase and quickly reaches a tiled floor. Other voices enter the conversation from a distance. They still seem a bit farther away, but their words resound around the large area. There are some faint gasps and sounds of gagging from the crowd. )

Jasmine Fenton: "They're all here, Danny."

Ashley Gibson: "Dude, are you okay? 

Brittany Casey: "Are you doing what I think you're doing?…"

Dashiel Baxter: "What the hell fucked you up like that, Fenton? How… how are you guys so good at—"

Jasmine Fenton: “Oh, the bandages? It’s alright. We’re experienced.”

Daniel Fenton: “This is, like, my usual shit. I’m fine, legit! I’m vibing.”

Paulina Sanchez: “You can’t just say that, pendejo!”

( There is a sound of plastic wrapping and packaging being ripped. Something pounds on a table, as if a lot of weight was placed on top. )

Kwan Jae-Hyung: “I, uh, I brought some snacks! As a gift—”

Kyle Weston: “An offering—”

Kwan Jae-Hyung: “A gift for you all. I hope you'll feel better soon, Danny…”

( Someone hops from a small height, standing up from their high seat. A few footsteps echo around the room. )

Tucker Foley: “YES!! Free food! Thanks so much, Kwan.”

Jasmine Fenton: “This is so sweet! Thank you, Kwan.”

Valerie Gray: “Pass me the Pringles, Tuck.”

Tucker Foley: “Want anything, Danny? Since you can't really—”

Samantha Manson: “Not right now. Danny, you'll get some when we're done with your wounds.”

Daniel Fenton: “Fine, but save me the Sour Patch Kids.”

Valerie Gray: “I don't know why you like those so much.”

Daniel Fenton: “They taste like the sweet version of Ranch 2.”

Kwan Jae-Hyung: “Not even gonna ask… I hope you like it, at least?”

Ashley Gibson: "Danny… did you seriously break your ribs???"

Daniel Fenton: "Don't worry, guys. Seriously! I've handled worse, so I'll be fine.”

( Someone takes a few steps forward. Ashley Gibson mutters bitterly in the background: “You're avoiding the question…” )

Dashiel Baxter: “When have you been through worse than this??”

Daniel Fenton: “Ehhh… once every few weeks?”

Jasmine Fenton: “How long until you fully heal, by the way?”

Daniel Fenton: “About six hours, more or less. It's chill.”

Nathan Lester: “The fuck…”

( Daniel Fenton winces, letting out a small “Ow”. The audio is silent for the next few seconds. The only thing that can be heard is the soft shuffling of feet and sharp intakes of breath. )

Tiffanie Manh: “… I thought your parents took down the vivisection table?”

Daniel Fenton: “You mean this? No, no.” 

Samantha Manson: “This is the dissection table.”

Michael “Mikey” Murray: “W-What?”

Tiffanie Manh: “Should you three be sitting on that?”

Tucker Folley: “It’s clean enough.”

Star Anderson: “Ugh, I can’t believe all this.”

Dashiel Baxter: “Okay, but… how long have you been taking weapons to class?”

( Valerie Gray sighs. )

Valerie Gray: “They’re ghost hunting weapons, so it’s fine. And since like… Freshman year?”

Dashiel Baxter: “So you guys just have always had weapons on you?”

Daniel Fenton: “I’m the reason the others started bringing them to school, you know. Val, you should be thanking me.”

Valerie Gray: “Shut up—”

Todd Perkins: “Hey, Val—”

( Samantha Manson interrupts Todd Perkins, as her question cuts through his greeting. )

Samantha Manson: “Wait, Brittany, can you give us some space?”

Brittany Casey: “Huh?”

Samantha Manson: “You’re blocking the ceiling light? I need to see? For the stitches?”

Brittany Casey: “Ugh, fuck, right… How can you be doing that right now??”

( Brittany Casey’s voice and footsteps lower in volume, becoming more distant from the microphone. )

Nathan Lester: “Doesn’t it hurt?”

Daniel Fenton: “Ha! Imagine hurting. Literally could not be me.”

Todd Perkins: “Val—”

Tucker Foley: “Oh, right! Do you think the yearbook would be interested in covering tomorrow’s event?”

Star Anderson: “Event?”

Michael "Mikey" Murray: “It's what happens after the bet is over, right? The "big thing" tomorrow?”

Daniel Fenton: “Yeah! Whole town's gonna be there. They just don't know it yet.”

Samantha Manson: “Do you think we can give ‘em front row seats?”

Daniel Fenton: “Oh, for sure. I can ask Frosty.”

Nathan Lester: "… Who's Frosty?"

Daniel Fenton: “Frostbite! He’s an artifact collector and head specialist doctor in the Ghost Zone. He’s a yeti.”

( The audio pauses for a moment. Complete silence. Then, several people groan dramatically as they collectively complain. A chorus of “of fucking course” and “this is my life now” overlaps in the audio. ) 

Brittany Casey: “I hate that I think you're telling the truth.”

Kyle Weston: “New rule! Nobody asks anything even and we can all live in blissful ignorance.”

Daniel Fenton: “Oh, please do, 'cause then I win the bet! LMAO.”

Star Anderson: “Did you just say “Lemao" out loud?”

Daniel Fenton: “Uh, yeah? Lol”

Star Anderson: “You're not even spelling them, I—nevermind.”

( Another bag of snacks opens. Nathan Lester grabs a handful of chips and eats them—evident by the mumbled way he speaks between bites. )

Nathan Lester: “ROFL X.D. Danny’s basically a real fantasy novel protag.”

Todd Perkins: “Val—”

Valerie Gray: “None of you deserve speaking rights. Especially you, Nathan.”

Nathan Lester: “What did I do?!”

Dashiel Baxter: “What the fuck is wrong with y’all … beside the whole… “being stabbed” thing.”

( Todd Perkins marches towards the staircase, and picks up something heavy. Metal containers and keychains clang. He rushes back toward the group, raising his voice. )

Todd Perkins: “VAL!! “

Valerie Gray: "What?!"

Todd Perkins: “You are the huntress, right?”

Valerie Gray: “I—”

Todd Perkins: “Cause, like, it was really embarrassing for you to see all the stuff I sent, and I'm sorry about that. And we're so sorry all of us ditched you back in Freshman year and we didn't even know what you were going through and—”

Brittany Casey: “Todd—”

Todd Perkins: “It was totally weird, right? Was it weird to hear us talking about you like you weren't in the room? And, well, we didn't know you were in the room. And thanks so much for what you've been doing in town! You're genuinely awesome! And you're human and in school and have a side job so it must've been extra hard for you—”

Kwan Jae-Hyung: “Dude, you—”

Todd Perkins: “And we're all very sorry for finding out like this. I mean, I guess we were supposed to find out? But we did kind of have to go through your stuff and—”

Samantha Manson: “You went through our stuff?”

( Todd Perkins steps forward, and leaves the group’s heavy backpacks on the dissection vivisection table. )

Jasmine Fenton: “Bet or no bet, that's still an invasion of privacy, guys. Not cool.”

Tucker Foley: “Ah, Patricia, my beloved phone! I missed you so much!”

( Daniel Fenton laughs. It’s a sweet, though strained, laugh. )

Daniel Fenton: “I can’t believe y’all forgot your bags in school??”

Samantha Manson: “Well, sorry if we panicked after you sent us that insane message on the WRONG CHAT!”

Daniel Fenton: “Well, at least revealing Val's secrets wasn't my fault! That’s on you.”

Michael "Mikey" Murray: “This is all kind of Danny’s fault, though.”

Valerie Gray: “Is anything not Danny’s fault, at this point?”

Kwan Jae-Hyung: “Wait, so… it is true? You're the Huntress?”

( There is another pause, followed by Valerie Gray’s tired sigh. )

Valerie Gray: “Thanks for giving back my thermos, by the way.”

Paulina Sanchez: “Holy shit! Ah, Val, we have so many questions! You're…”

Ashley Gibson: “You're not… mad at us, are you?”

Valerie Gray: “Nahh, that was like… the whole point of all this, wasn't it?”

Brittany Casey: “I can't believe you're actually the Huntress! “

Dashiel Baxter: “That’s so fucking cool!”

Nathan Lester: “You just confirmed it… holy shit…”

Todd Perkins: “This is crazy!”

Daniel Fenton: “Crazy? I was crazy onc— ”

( Bonk. )

Daniel Fenton: “Hey!”

Tucker Foley: “Don’t even start it, dude.”

Michael "Mikey" Murray: “Where do you keep the suit, anyways?”

( The sound of a button being pressed. There’s some faint machinery, as if something is activating. Animatronic parts move and wrap against each other with a spark. There are gasps of awe from the crowd. )

Valerie Gray: “Right here.”

Dashiel Baxter: “HOLY SHIT!”

Todd Perkins: “Oh, wow.”

Paulina Sanchez: “Goddamn! Val, that is the most awesome thing ever.”

Star Anderson: “OMG!!”

Daniel Fenton: "Star, ‘Oh Em Gee?’ And I thought you said— Ouch, Sam—”

Samantha Manson: “Don't move, dumbass.”

Kwan Jae-Hyung: "Val but… Don't you get scared?"

Valerie Gray: "Not much, nowadays. I've been doing this for years, so you kinda get used to it."

Star Anderson: "That's why you guys were fine at the last Nasty Burger attack!"

Kyle Weston: "And that's why you kept ditching class… and work."

Valerie Gray: "Sorry, not sorry."

Kyle Weston: "I can't even be mad. You go slay some evil ghosts invading our reality and I go fight the Karens who want more salt on their fries. We're exactly the same."

Valerie Gray: "Mad respect, Kyle."

Tucker Foley: "Hey, did any of you touch this?"

( A pause. )

Todd Perkins: "I may have?"

Jasmine Fenton: "Did you open it?"

Todd Perkins: "Uhm…"

Jasmine Fenton: "This is a bit important, Todd."

Todd Perkins: "Maybe one page?”

Paulina Sanchez: "Of course he did…"

Samantha Manson: "Which one?"

Todd Perkins: "I don't know…"

Jasmine Fenton: "Which one, Todd?"

( Another pause. )

( It lingers for a few seconds—not a breath is heard in the room… )

Todd Perkins: "…the one with flower doodles?"

( There are several sudden sighs of relief. )

Samantha Manson: "Oh, thank the Ancients."

Kwan Jae-Hyung: 'What? Why?"

Samantha Manson: "That page is just Blood Blossom info, so you’re all good—but there’s stuff in there that’s, like, actually dangerous."

Dashiel Baxter: "Whaddya mean?"

( Tucker Foley fails to hide his laughter. )

Tucker Foley: "I’d love to see Todd accidentally summon Satan."

Jasmine Fenton: "Tucker!"

Tucker Foley: "What? It’s true! I would! It would be hilarious!"

Daniel Fenton: "That devil seriously needs to stop signing soul contracts… the paperwork."

Jasmine Fenton: "You’re not the one that does it, though."

Daniel Fenton: "Yeah, but I still have to do a hellish amount of reading."

Star Anderson: "What do you mean by—"

Kyle Weston: "No questions! Nope. Don’t even want to know."

Tiffanie Manh: "You… You know Satan."

Dashiel Baxter: "Now you’re just shittin’ us."

Tucker Foley: "We haven’t lied once since the bet started."

Michael “Mikey” Murray: "… What is Satan like??"

( There’s another pause. Daniel Fenton hums a “Hmmm…” quietly, thinking of an appropriate response. )

Daniel Fenton: "A slut."

Jasmine Fenton: "DANNY!"

Daniel Fenton: "C’mon! What’s Satan gonna do? Kill me?"

Valerie Gray: "Enough! Danny and Sam are busy, but the rest of us are still just standing around. Don't we have a party to prep for?"

Dashiel Baxter: "A party? That’s what happening tomorrow?"

Paulina Sanchez: "And the whole town is gonna be there?"

( There’s a sound of some metallic utensil beind laid on the table. )

Tucker Foley: "Yep! They’ll send the announcements later tonight."

Daniel Fenton: "Mhm! Hopefully Vlad does his job for once."

Ashley Gibson: "You mean… the mayor?"

( There are footsteps from people moving around the room. Kwan Jae-Hyung leans on the vivisection table, with his voice louder and closer to the microphone.

Kwan Jae-Hyung: "He’s Danny’s godfather, remember? Why do you folks keep calling him the “frootloop,” by the way? I’ve always wanted to ask that."

Tiffanie Manh: "Oh, truuuuue…"

Valerie Gray: "Well, ‘cause the dude’s fucking nuts."

Daniel Fenton: “He’s doing better, and all—but he do be kinda cray-cray. He works for me now, so we're on good terms."

Todd Perkins: "You're seriously saying that about the mayor?"

Paulina Sanchez: "Honestly? I totally see it."

Dashiel Baxter: "I never liked that prick."

Kyle Weston: "He's too much of a boomer."

( Samantha Manson blows air out of her nose. )

Samantha Manson: "Finally something we agree on."

Star Anderson: "The major works for you??"

Tucker Foley: "Who do you think does Satan's paperwork?"

Todd Perkins: "No fucking way…"

Jasmine Fenton: "It is true. I suppose it'll make more sense soon enough."

Tiffanie Manh: "That's so ominous…"

( Daniel Fenton coughs gently. All eyes turn toward him and, with a practiced musicality, Valerie Gray, Jasmine Fenton, Samantha Manson, Tucker Foley, and him chant:

 “All is as it should be.” 

The five high school students laugh at their inside joke, and the crowd shares their confusion in overlapping chatter. Kwan Jae-Hyung and Todd Perkins can be heard the loudest, saying “Huh??” and “That’s some Clockwork bullshit” respectively. )

Jasmine Fenton: "Also, Val is right. We all have things to do, don't we? Let's get going!"

Samantha Manson: "Now, can you turn that thing off—"

( The audio is muffled again, with something quickly covering over the microphone. )

End of audio.

——ooOoo——

[ Thursday, 17:24 ]

100yarddash: @localcryptid FUCK YOU FOR MAKING US DO YOUR CHORES

nottodday: YEAH !!!

nottodday: I GET IT. PARTY. BALLOONS. SNACKS.

nottodday: BUT YOUR LAUNDRY???

jazzhands: Well, apologies, but your help was really appreciated!

girlinred: we were a little busy

localcryptid: WELL SORRY FOR GETTING THROWN INTO A WALL

localcryptid: I'll try to ask for consent before I get stabbed next time

localcryptid: if I say no they legally cant

barbiegirl: you're all insane

toofine: WE'RE all insane

toofine: you too paulie

batwoman: welcome to the club

starlight: I've accepted my fate already

ashestoashes: OH MY GODS

ashestoashes: @GIRLINRED

ashestoashes: GIRL !! IN !! RED !!

nateural: IN RED

nateural: genius

nottodday: skhdsndkshskdjdjdjdj!!!!!

mikerophone: I completely agree, Todd

jazzhands: Wonderfully phrased.

tiffanieandco: I would like to piggyback on what Todd has mentioned and say

tiffanieandco: PSLFBSKFHSLD !!

girlinred: lovely conversations everyone

girlinred: I do appreciate the support fr <3

starlight: <3

girlinred: though it does feel weird

girlinred: @localcryptid is this how you feel in the zone

localcryptid: yeah it's hella weird once it's personal

localcryptid: like me?? getting ATTENTION and APPRECIATION??

localcryptid: me as ME?? not as my persona? 

localcryptid: ew

barbiegirl: persona??? oh?

sinnamonroll: what does that mean?

mikerophone: is your big secret that you're a furry

localcryptid: no that's tucker

toofine: DANNY

localcryptid: I'm jk

localcryptid: unless…

girlinred: one of these days we'll find out Tucker is part werewolf and I won't even be surprised

starlight: that's the least surprising thing I heard today ngl

localcryptid: ahhh I love that all my friends are liminal and fucked up and have predetermined afterlives <3 being nearly immortal is so silly <3

batwoman: <33 you ain't getting rid of us any time soon

jazzhands: we stick to you no matter what, little bro <3

girlinred: fuck you too spook <3

toofine: love you <3 but okay but no need to expose me on main

mikerophone: after everything im still confused

mikerophone: what the heck you mean by “nearly immortal”

localcryptid: oh! okay. so you know how like

barbiegirl: wait what you're actually explaining?

localcryptid: yeah holdup lemme type

nottodday: like actually?

sinnamonroll: you'll just tell us? and we don't need to secretly theorize in the separate phanclub groupchat?

batwoman: let him type

100yarddash: …

100yarddash: type faster

kylogram: shush

localcryptid: okay wait I have to write it as a separate file

localcryptid: character limit

barbiegirl: ??????

tiffanieandco: ????????

localcryptid: so here's the answers you were waiting for

localcryptid: https://assets.speakcdn.com/assets/2703/bulletin-may26.pdf

toofine: that explains it well ngl

girlinred: I think it's clear enough

mikerophone: NSKFHSKDHSKSJSKDK

100yarddash: AAAAAAA fUCK OFF

batwoman: i knew it lol

barbiegirl: wow

kylogram: BAKDJAKSHAJ GG WELL DONE

ashestoashes: I would curse you and your mother and your grandma after that

ashestoashes: but considering everything I've heard today

ashestoashes: it would probably be too close to home

localcryptid: yeah lol

localcryptid: >:3

toofine: message is pretty clear my dudes

toofine: find out for urselves ;)

100yarddash: yall are gonna be so fucked tomorrow istg

batwoman: oh right guys

batwoman: no school tomorrow

queenbree: huh??

tiffanieandco: wdym no school tomorrow

100yarddash: wha?

batwoman: vlad's posting the announcement soon, for the party?

batwoman: it'll be all day long

nateural: and they expect to cancel class last minute like that??

girlinred: yep

girlinred: can't say no to Danny

localcryptid: not with my cute pleading little baby man eyes

sinnamonroll: yknow what? I get it

queenbree: I should've transferred to elmerton when I had the chance

girlinred: same

jazzhands: There's not a lot of time left.

jazzhands: The announcement message includes the answers they’re all searching for. When Vlad sends the announcement, the bet is over. 

localcryptid: cant believe I got stabbed and am still the closest to winning o7

toofine: I still have hopes for the phanclub

kylogram: so wait we need to start thinking now?

ashestoashes: ewww thinking

barbiegirl: alright @everyone 

barbiegirl: what do we actually know?

nottodday: all hands on deck?

starlight: let’s all figure this out!

mikerophone: it's time to make a theory 

nateural: A game theory

tiffanieandco: same joke??

Chapter Text

——ooOoo——

[ Thursday, 17:35 ]

batwoman: we’ll give y’all time to think ;)

batwoman: have fun

starlight: we WILL (not) have fun !!!

sinnamonroll: we’ll try to not lose our minds o7

kylogram: lol lesgo

starlight: aight settle down everyone

queenbree: shhhh lina’s typing

barbiegirl: tonight, the mayor vlad masters will send everyone an announcement 

barbiegirl: the announcement is for a partay and the whole town will be invited !!!

starlight: that’s apparently gonna reveal danny fenton’s biggest secret

barbiegirl: sam, tuck, jazz, and val all know about it

100yarddash: PULL UP THE LIST

mikerophone: the list??

starlight: the List™ 

ashestoashes: yeah we wanna figure this out right

kylogram: yell heah

barbiegirl: the The List™ is very long

barbiegirl: hard to summarize, but I’ll try <3

nateural: lesGO

Paulina Sanchez has renamed this group “CSI Amity Park”

kylogram: lol

tiffanieandco: what’s the crime here

batwoman: 720 ILCS 5/9-3.5 B

sinnamonroll: huh

batwoman: know your legal rights ;)

100yarddash: the only real crime here is danny’s taste in jokes

localcryptid: well personally I do genuinely believe I am hilarious

localcryptid: everyone I’ve punched in the face can confirm

mikerophone: ????

nateural: since when do you punch people in the face

localcryptid: uh

localcryptid: since I started getting stabbed?

tiffanieandco: .

tiffanieandco: okay you know what

tiffanieandco: fair

nottodday: so danny what’s it like being in a ghost gang

starlight: OH BGSKHGKHSKHSG

starlight: THE GROUPCAHT NAME. GHOST GANG

localcryptid: not in a literal gang actually

localcryptid: tho many have tried to pull me in

kylogram: fr??

toofine: yeah they keep trying to summon him

localcryptid: get me to work for them

100yarddash: like they show up to your house and shit?

localcrytpid: no I mean like summoning ritual protective barrier

localcrytpid: all that shit

localcrytpid: really annoying ngl

starlight: yeah that’s 

starlight: yeah

starlight: yeah okay

nottodday: you’re not gonna ask???

100yarddash: what would be the point in asking rn 

100yarddash: he just says shit

ashestoashes: and we just gotta accept it

queenbree: true

barbiegirl: okay everyone

barbiegirl: hop on the google docs

mikerophone: the google docs??

barbiegirl: I went back and compiled. evidence

sinnamonroll: you’ve connected the dots? :0

batwoman: you didn’t connect shit

barbiegirl: I’ve connected them <3

barbiegirl: sharing with everyone

ashestoashes: yaasss

barbiegirl: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/14zR3WIoQtJL95Y9PTv6JT6QYmkdpCKlk?usp=sharing 

sinnamonroll: and ftr !! check for resolved comments

sinnamonroll: just click the three teenie dots on the top right !! :D

starlight: got it !! not too hard

nottodday: huh I was today years old when I found out abt that

——ooOoo——

[ Thursday, 17:49 ]  

nateural: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c3/2c/03/c32c03b3d5fcd961ef9b57800e9705d0.jpg 

mikerophone: hajfshhjsf XD

starlight: LOL

tiffanieandco: yeaaaah! that’s exactly what I mean

jazzhands: Ahahahahahaha

localcryptid: HGSKGSKHGHGS ACCURATE !! almost accurate. almost the opposite actually

ashestoashes: almost??

localcryptid: okay I just read up the doc and like

localcryptid: the amount of times yall were CLOSE lol

barbiegirl: UGH YOU BITCH

localcryptid: hihi :3

girlinred: And yes, it definitely does suck to be vlad

girlinred: I wouldn’t wish that life on my worst enemy 

jazzhands: Hahaha! That’s very ironic.

nateural: jazz learn to type like a teenager petition

starlight: why is it. ironic??

batwoman: that’s… a story for another day

queenbree: omg can you smell it?

queenbree: the scent of DRAMA i nthe air??

batwoman: what can I say

batwoman: we love ourselves some occasional mayor bashing 

100yarddash: so what now?

100yarddash: how we supposed to know if were on the right track or way off

sinnamonroll: can we ask for a hint or smth?

toofine: well I can say for sure that this is hilarious

toofine: the perfect train of thought and then you just 

toofine: end it with “no c :/”

barbiegirl: so I WAS right !! 

localcryptid: YES IM IMPORTANT FOLKS

localcryptid: ik I’m silly goofy but like. I actually do things with what little life I have left

localcryptid: and yes I do stuff in the zone

localcryptid: I swear I thought we got that out of the way with ember’s party

localcryptid: that was almost like,,, a week ago

sinnamonroll: all this happened in a week???

localcryptid: don’t blame me for funky time shenanigans

nottodday: well WHO ELSE would be blame, DANNY??

nottodday: the fucking TIME GOD???

toofine: XD

nottodday: well SORRY but APPARENTLY we cant even do that

nottodday: because the FUCKING TIME GOD is yOUR BABYSITTER

girlinred: more of a teacher really. like a sensei

batwoman: sometimes it feels like he’s danny’s boss from FedEx

ashestoashes: fedex???

tiffanieandco: is danny god’s errand boy

localcryptid: I am NOT the ancient’s ERRAND BOY

toofine: then don’t act liek one?

localcryptid: >:|

kylogram: wAIT 

kylogram: is dANNY JESUS ????

mikerophone: … no??

toofine: HGSKHSKGKHSGKHSG

nottodday: LOL nawww 

kylogram: NO BUT OKAY LISTEN

kylogram: LISTEN IT MAKES SENSE

100yarddash: now we’re just going too far

jazzhands: He does have a fair point, you know…

starlight: ??????????? WDYM JAZZ

batwoman: well really if you think about it

batwoman: yes. danny IS like jesus. technically

girlinred: okay now this is just too weird

girlinred: comparing danny to JESUS? really?

toofine: god, human, revered spirit? mortal embodiment of an all-encompassing concept of the universe, had a destiny for greatness, performed miracles, suffered a lot for humanity, started many religions technically, brought back to life as a ghost, ascended to a higher plane?

girlinred: … nevermind.

localcryptid: BGHKSSHSGHHSGHKSGKHGHSKHGS WELP UHM

100yarddash: what the FUCK does this even mean

kylogram: SO I AM RIGHT

kylogram: DANNY IS JESUS

kylogram: THAT’S IT