Chapter Text
Before our guests' arrival, there was enough time for Mallory to shower, change into jeans and a t-shirt, and show off a "prestidigitation" spell that magically dried and styled her hair, which made me incredibly jealous. Then my feline hearing detected a car pulling into the gravel driveway.
A few moments later, Corey and Izzey were waiting at the door. Mal answered, with me in cat form behind her. It was a little bit surreal, seeing them from this height. They were like giants.
"Hi," she said nervously.
"Hey, before you say anything, I want to apologize," said Izzy. "Corey and I were talking on the car ride over, and he said I crossed the line from protective over to mean. And he was right. Whatever is going on with Katelyn, I shouldn’t have taken it out on you, and I’m sorry."
There was an awkward silence.
"And I’m Corey," said Corey, offering a handshake. "It’s good to meet you in person."
Mallory shook his hand, seeming a little dazed. "Um. Okay. Uh…come on in, both of you."
"Hi Izzy! Hi Corey!" I said, waving hello. I knew they’d only hear meow meow meow, but I was hoping I got the tone across. It was difficult to suppress the urge to zoom toward them for a tackle-glomp; however, in the interest of not startling them out of their socks, I resisted.
"Ooh, is that her?" said Corey, stepping inside and bending down to pet me. I tried my best to purr in an appreciative manner.
"Yeah, she says hi," said Mal. "Um, in case it wasn’t clear, I can understand her, because, uh, the details are complicated, but basically, magic."
Izzy stepped inside after him and closed the door behind herself, frowning. "I don’t believe in magic. But you passed Corey’s test, so I’m willing to hear you out."
"I’m going to be completely honest," said Corey. "I don’t really believe in magic either. If the two possibilities are, one, magic is real and you’re a wizard, or two, you and Kate are in cahoots to fool everyone for some reason, I’m not saying I’m 100% unwilling to entertain the former, but the balance of probability leans heavily to the latter. Surely you understand."
I nodded my head. "I do understand, and don’t call me Shirley."
"Hey, she nodded!" he said.
"She says she does understand, and don’t call her Shirley," Mal relayed. He handed her a piece of paper. "Oh! I guess you knew she would say that!" She handed the paper down to me. It said, I do understand, and don’t call me Shirley.
I tried my best to shoot him some fingerguns and a wink. The fingerguns were tricky, but I think I managed a wink and a point, which was probably close enough.
"May I?" said Izzy, crouching and reaching out both hands to pick me up. I obliged, jumping into her arms.
She petted me gently and scratched my head. It felt nice. "You’re not a puppet," she said.
"Not last I checked," I said, shaking my head.
"And you can understand me?" she said.
I nodded.
"What’s three plus one?" Corey asked.
I tapped my paw four times.
"I’m pretty sure she’s not an animatronic either," said Izzy. "She’s fuzzy and warm and soft. This is a bonafide organic feline."
"Oh, so you only picked me up so you could check me for hidden strings, huh?" I said. "I see how it is!"
Mallory laughed. "She’s pretending to be offended that you only picked her up to check that, but I can tell she doesn’t really mind. She likes the skritches."
"We are rapidly eliminating the impossible, as Holmes would say, and the scales of probability are tipping," said Corey. "Mallory, you said on the video chat that you were trying to find a way to get her back to normal, and that you thought it would be ready by the time we got here. And it increasingly seems that she is, in fact, a cat. So whatever you were trying didn’t work?"
"No, it did! But it was more of a temporary, imperfect solution. She can more or less change back whenever she wants, but only for a short time, and there’s a pretty hefty cooldown period afterwards," Mal explained.
I nodded.
"Can she change back now, in front of us?" said Izzy. "Because if so, that would really speed things up for me, belief-wise."
"She can," said Mallory. "And I have spells I could cast that would probably convince you pretty definitively as well. But she was having fun, so I thought I’d let her tease you a little bit first."
I nodded again. She was right on the money. I was totally enjoying myself. There was no way she didn’t pick it up on her end of the empathic link. But it seemed like the jig was up now.
I hopped out of Izzy’s arms and spoke the words to become human again. When I emerged from the cocoon of violet light, both my brother and my roommate were picking their proverbial jaws off the floor.
"Okay," said Corey. "I’m not saying I can’t think of any alternative explanations for that light show, but I am one hundred percent out of any alternative explanations that do not include the assumption that magic is fuckin’ real, yo."
"Agreed," said Izzy. "Magic is fuckin’ real."
"It surprised me too!" I said. I pulled both of them into a good old-fashioned human-style group hug. "Kind of hard to deny it when you’ve been turned into a cat, though!"
"Are you okay? Fuck, you were a cat a second ago, Katie! And what’s up with your hair?" Izzy said, brushing a strand of hair out of my eyes. "And your eyes?"
"I have a lot of questions, and most of them are probably stupid," said Corey. "Answer hers first. I’m sure they’re more important."
I broke off the hug and moved to put my hand on Mal’s shoulder, smiling broadly. "It’s a cosmetic side effect of the transmutation. But Mal here is basically a prodigy. If there’s an answer, she’ll find it."
She beamed. "Thanks, Kate!" she said. "I’m, uh, I’m going to have to do more research, I think. It could take a little while."
"I seem to recall that you," said Izzy, pointing at Mal, "said you turned Kate into a cat by mistake. And I am also observing that you," pointing at me, "do not appear to be furious about this at this time. Should I take this to mean that I, also, should not currently be furious about this?"
"That is correct on all counts," I said. "She did turn me into a cat. I was upset at first, but we worked it out, and we’re friends now. You officially have my blessing to cool your jets."
"Oh, thank God," said Izzy, visibly relaxing. "I’ve been on high alert all day. It’s exhausting."
"Do you want to hang out and order pizza?" said Mallory. "I have my mom’s credit card."
"Fuck yes!" said Corey. "I just went on a road trip, found out magic is real, my sister is a cat, and now we get to have pizza, too? This is the best Saturday of my life!"
"Ninety minutes isn’t a real road trip, you goof," I said.
"Ssshh," he said. "Don’t spoil this for me."
"I’m down for pizza if it’s vegetarian," said Izzy.
Mal was already pulling up the food delivery app on her phone. "I'm not a vegetarian, but I do love vegetables! We can share a veggie combo pizza."
"Cats are obligate carnivores. Order me some chicken wings!" I said.
"I don’t think fried food is good for cats," said Mal.
"It’s not good for humans either!" I countered.
She nodded. "Fair point! Chicken wings for Kate. What about you, Corey?"
"Veggie combo sounds great. Can we get breadsticks too?" he said.
"One extra-large veggie combo, one order of plain chicken wings, one order of breadsticks, coming up!" Mal tapped in the credit card info and confirmed the order. "Should be here in about an hour."
"Hey, where are your parents, anyway?" asked Izzy. "Do they work on weekends?"
"Dad does," said Mal. "He’s a veterinarian. He isn’t on call 24/7, but he works pretty long hours sometimes. He’ll probably be back late tonight. Mom is out on a business trip, though. She works in sales, and she travels a lot. But I don’t mind being home alone. I’m used to it, and it gives me time to practice my spells without being distracted."
"Speaking of parents, you need to call ours, Kate," said Corey. "I told Mom and Dad that I heard from you, and that you said you were fine, but they’re going to want to hear your voice."
I sighed. "I better do it now, then," I said. "Mal says this shape won’t hold very long. Can I borrow your phone?" He nodded and dialed the number for me.
It went to voicemail. "Hey, it’s me!" I told the answering machine. "Just calling to say that I’m okay, and I’m safe. I was in an accident, and I lost my phone, but luckily a friend from out of town happened to be around to help. I can’t talk for long right now, but I’ll try to send you an email later, alright? I love you! Bye!"
I hung up and handed Corey’s phone back to him, feeling relieved that I didn’t have to have a real-time conversation with my parents right now, before getting the chance to figure out a better cover story than the shitty one I had going so far, which felt like it had more holes in it than Camp Green Lake.
"I can't hold this form for very long," I announced. "I'll have to change back to a cat soon. Before I do, are there any other questions that you want to hear me answer directly?"
"Yes," said Izzy. "First, what are you going to do about your classes? Second, how are you going to pay the rent for the rest of our lease? Third, how long are you planning to stay here? Fourth, what are you even going to do while you're staying here?"
Corey patted Izzy on the back. "I told you she'd ask the smart questions," he said.
"Well, the first two are easy enough," I said. "I can't attend in-person classes as a cat, so I'm going to ask to take an 'incomplete' for the semester. And I can cover the rest of the rent out of my savings, so don't worry about that! I won't leave you high and dry."
About five years ago, my dad started doing consulting work for several big tech firms, an overpaid job in an overpaid industry, and our family quickly shifted from lower middle class with a tight budget to upper middle class with enough savings to pay my way through college. While I didn't have access to unlimited funds, I was comfortable that money wouldn't be an issue.
"As for time and what to do with it, I'm not entirely sure," I continued, "but I suspect I'll be staying here a while, due to certain details of the spell that brought me here. The short version is it also bonded me with Mal on a metaphysical level, if we aren't really careful about it, breaking that bond could be very dangerous for both of us."
"An accurate summary," Mal chimed in. "I'll also add that I'm not a very high-level wizard yet, and I simply don't have a lot of expertise about undoing spells. It's entirely possible that there's a super easy answer that I just don't know about, and after a week or two of research, I can have her back to normal. It's also possible that I'd need to gain another seven or eight levels in order to have magic strong enough to change her back without also doing the spiritual equivalent of breaking half the bones in each of our bodies at the same time, in which case it could be years before a solution is viable."
"In other words, it's too soon to know," said Izzy.
"Right," I said. "I like being human, but I'd rather spend more time as a cat than rush into a quick fix and break my soul by accident. It'll take however long it takes. In the meantime, I was thinking I'd spend some time studying, um, magic. Since I'm conveniently soulbonded with a fledgling wizard."
Izzy furrowed her brow, but Corey's eyes suddenly went wide. "Oh shit!" he said, breaking into laughter. "A cat, soulbonded to a wizard? You're her familiar!"
"Yeah," I said, blushing a little. "That's, uh, that's pretty much the deal."
"And your so-called accident that she helped you out of by summoning you at just the right time," he continued. "You're a fucking isekai protagonist!"
"I was about to be run over by an eighteen-wheeler at the time, so yes, that is essentially accurate," I said. "I think the whole 'I'm not dead' angle made me a lot more charitable towards the whole affair."
"This is making a little more sense now," Izzy said slowly. "I was trying to figure out how you could possibly be so casual about this. But I think I'm getting it. You don't see this," she gestured around at Mallory's living room, "as the disaster that screwed up your life. You see it as a new lease on a life that otherwise would have been screwed up a lot worse by an entirely different disaster."
I nodded.
"And your soul is bonded with Mallory, so even if you wanted to leave, separating from her would be problematic for you in multiple ways," she continued. "You're a captive of the situation. But she's obviously aware of that, and is doing her best to respect your needs. The fact that she invited us here and agreed to tell us everything is proof enough of that. If she were planning to abuse her position of power over you, giving me her home address would have been a damn stupid move."
"I wanted to show as much good faith as possible," Mal agreed. "The power dynamics involved here did not escape me. I have a duty of care."
"Hey, wait a second," I protested. "Of the two of us, who’s the adult? I’m older and wiser, right? Shouldn’t I be the one taking care of you?"
"You have maybe, um, five minutes left before you turn back into a cat," said Mal.
"At which point, you'll be completely reliant on Mallory for basic tasks like speaking and manipulating objects," Izzy added. "I mean, I'd be happy to take you back with me and take care of you myself, if that was what you wanted! But I can't talk to cats, Katie, and I definitely can't help you reverse the spell."
"Plus, since she’s a wizard, she’d be way more powerful than you even if you weren’t a cat," Corey pointed out. "She could probably blast you with Magic Missiles, or light you on fire with her mind, or capture you in a Pokéball."
"Grumble grumble," I said. "I concede the point. Transform, self true my by." I turned back into a cat.
"For the record!" Mallory said forcefully. "Any idiot can shoot missiles or set someone on fire. The first one is called a ‘gun’ and the second one is called a ‘blowtorch.’ I didn’t even bother trying to learn spells to do those things because I’m not interested in murdering people." She glared.
Corey fidgeted in his seat. "Okay, fair point. Sorry."
She thought for a second. "I could definitely capture Kate in a Pokéball, though."
"Please don’t," I said.