Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

The Cat Army had been slacking off for the past few weeks. After having conquered the Uncanny Legends, a new campaign had opened, but progress was halted after the very first victory. The cats could only wait.

Some enjoyed the peace. Others...

Eraser Cat: I have been BORED out of my MIND! I HUNGER for CONQUEST!

Mohawk Cat: Take it easy, Eraser. It's not like screaming will get things going any sooner.

Eraser Cat: Desperate times call for DESPERATE MEASURES! We must form OUR OWN ARMY against the CAT ARMY!

Mohawk Cat: That would be cool!

Eraser Cat: YES!

Mohawk Cat: If it wasn't a terrible idea. Look at who we'd be up against!

Mohawk Cat gestures over to a group of people conversing.

Urs: Having a giant cat beast is hard work, but it is far and away worth it.

Mina: Thanks, but I don't think my ammo cats can grow that large.

Filibuster: Maybe it's their diet! Try feeding them whatever Urs feeds Minka.

Li'l Nyandam: Now THAT sounds promising! Look at this little guy.

Li'l Nyandam holds Catdam, his Cat. Catdam is dangling upside-down.

Li'l Nyandam: Imagine what he could do if he was beefed up!

Eraser Cat runs over to the group of people.

Eraser Cat: I would like to INQUIRE about this DIET of yours!

Elsewhere, three people are throwing darts at a dartboard.

Hermit: The secret is to incorporate great patience into your technique...

Yulala: Come on already! Nobody likes it when someone prolongs a game. Besides, I've got business later.

Uril: You mean the same business that we all have?

Yulala: Well, you know I've gotta get there before you two.

Hermit throws his dart at the dartboard and lands a bullseye. He then drinks some pink lemonade.

Yulala: Whuh? I was set to win this time!

Uril throws his dart. It lands on a low point space near the bullseye.

Uril: Graceful third place, as usual.

Ururun runs up behind the group.

Ururun: Hey, pops and grandpops! What's going on?

Uril: Where have you been? It's been a few hours since we saw you last.

Ururun: Chasing my cat.

Yulala: We've got Heavenly Tower business soon, want to come with us?

Hermit spits out his pink lemonade and glares at Yulala, who does not notice him.

Dogumaru is watching Naala, Luza, and Idi. The three are standing silently next to each other.

Bahamut: What are you doing?

Dogumaru: I'm trying to figure out what they're doing. Is it some kind of meditation?

Bahamut: Oh, that. Luza and Idi can't talk, so Naala's using telepathy to have a conversation.

Dogumaru: Maybe they're - WHAT?!

Bahamut: Forgot you've never been properly introduced! Come on, I'll tell them about you.

Naala and Idi's voices are projected to Bahamut and Dogumaru. Luza's is not.

Naala: You two think very loudly.

Idi (by telepathy): Positive.

Bahamut: I know! Anyways, this guy is Dogumaru. Or Doguemon, I guess.

Dogumaru: What a fascinating ability! We'll get along very well.

Musashi and Moneko are filming a video.

Moneko: Hello, everyone! It's finally time for a collab that's been long awaited! I-

Musashi: Jagando, you have to hit the red record button on the camera.

Jagando Jr. is using the camera. He pouts and presses the red record button.

Musashi: Thanks, man!

Moneko: Wait, I don't think we can have that in the video.

Musashi: It's alright, I'll edit it out later.

A booming voice over an intercom in the Cat Base drowns out conversation.

Cat God (over intercom): I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT! WE HAVE BEEN BORED FOR FAR TOO LONG!

A few people shout in agreement.

Cat God (over intercom): I HAVE CREATED A GENIUS SOLUTION TO THE BOREDOM PROBLEM!

Valkyrie: Cut the crap! We know you're just going to tell us give you our cat food!

Cat God (over intercom): THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG, MY BEAUTY! I-

Valkyrie: I hate you. Do not call me that ever.

The intercom is silent for a few seconds.

Cat God (over intercom): THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE WRONG! I AM CREATING A COMPETITION SHOW! THE WINNER WILL RECEIVE A GRAND PRIZE OF...

Cat God poorly imitates a drumroll.

Cat God (over intercom): TEN MILLION CAT FOOD! TO COMPETE, GO OUTSIDE AND ASSEMBLE 3 TEAMS OF 7!

Chaos ensues inside the Cat Base. People are clamoring as they try to get outside first.

Valkyrie: Are you all serious? Since when have you all trusted Cat God?!

Mecha-Bun (together): We know, but...

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Ten million cat food is too good to pass up! That could leave me stuffed and pay for fuel forever!

Mecha-Bun (mech): Besides, what have you ever seen Cat God do with all the cat food we've given him? He's probably got it stockpiled.

People continue to leave the Cat Base until 21 people are outside, including Cat God.

Cat God: Alright, it's time to get thi- hold on. One, two, three... someone is missing.

Valkyrie begrudgingly steps outside.

Cat God: Much better! It's time for team forming! 3 teams of 7 will compete, with the worst-placing team each challenge being up for elimination by voters!

Filibuster: Er, what voters?

Urs: Am I gonna have to vote out my own team members?

Cat God: YOU'RE not the voters! Viewers are. All of this is going on camera!

A few people murmur, but nobody leaves.

Cat God: Hey, I said it's team-forming time! Go! Now!

Ururun: Listen to this. I have a great plan.

Yulala: I think I know what you mean!

Ururun: URS! URIL! HERMIT! JOIN OUR TEAM!

Hermit: If we are to win, maybe it would be wise to pick strategically over favorites.

Uril: I suppose you're right, but isn't there an advantage in knowing your teammates already?

Hermit: It would seem that way.

Ururun continues yelling for the two to join. Urs has already joined her and Yulala.

Uril: The tower can manage itself. Let's spend some time with the family.

Hermit: Very well, even though I'm not part of your family...

Team-forming continues elsewhere.

Bahamut: Valkyrie!

Valkyrie: I assume you want to make a team?

Bahamut: What else would I be doing?

Valkyrie: Fine. If I'm going to endure Cat God's chore-fest, I might as well do it with some friends.

Naala and Idi's voices are projected to Bahamut and Valkyrie.

Naala: Idi told me you two would be good teammates!

Idi (by telepathy): Affirmative.

Bahamut: That's right! Our team will be pretty powerful with telepathy, so you'll be great as well.

Dogumaru joins the group.

Dogumaru: I would like to join this group.

Valkyrie: Go ahead.

Naala: We're pretty well-rounded so far! I think we're set already.

Idi (by telepathy): Lacking force. Two needed.

Naala: Right, let's go find some more.

A small crowd has formed around Moneko and Musashi.

Mohawk Cat: Competing with a pop icon and a movie star? Nothing's more radical that THAT.

Eraser Cat: But are they CAPABLE of DESTRUCTION?

Musashi: Uh, somewhat?

Eraser Cat: That is ACCEPTABLE!

Li'l Nyandam: Woah, who cares about the movies when I can see the real thing?! I'm in this team for sure!

Moneko: Alright, superfans! Let's get far in this game by picking some powerful teammates.

Mina: If it's power you want, then I'm more than capable of supplying that!

Mina loads her bazooka with one of her ammo cats.

Moneko: The demonstration isn't needed! But, uh, sure!

Mohawk Cat: I've scouted out the perfect teammate! Look over there!

Mohawk Cat points to Mecha-Bun.

Musashi: Great pick! Dual contestant, plus pretty powerful.

Mina rushes over to claim Mecha-Bun for her team before anyone else can.

She achieves this by snatching the pilot and throwing them at her team, and the mech follows.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): You didn't have to do THAT!

Mecha-Bun (mech): But we see your point. We'll join.

Li'l Nyandam: WE'RE THE FIRST FULL TEAM! HA!

Urs rides on their cat-beast, Minka, over to Doron.

Urs: Hey, are you interested in joining?

Doron: Uh, I was... going to wait until the teams filled...

Urs: Why's that?

Doron: Don't like to talk much...

Urs: Well, we'll respect that on our team! Minka here seems to like you, too.

Doron: Alright...

Hermit: Welcome to the team. Now, we have to assess our remaining options.

Uril: We've got Jagando, Filibuster, and Luza.

Naala walks over to Jagando and convinces him telepathically to go with her team.

Uril: We've got Filibuster and Luza.

Ururun: Ooh, let's continue our whole 'mask' theme! Luza for sure!

Luza makes a vaguely agreeing gesture.

Filibuster: Hey, teammates!

Valkyrie: I'd say we got a pretty alright last pick.

Dogumaru: Well, uh-

Idi stares directly at Dogumaru.

Dogumaru: Yeah, you're alright.

Cat God: All teams are set! It's time to begin our challenge.

Cat God: I've got three enemy towers! Your team must destroy it as quickly as possible, and the last team to do so loses! But there's a twist.

Cat God: Team naming will also be a part of this challenge! If your team does poorly, but has the best name, you could be saved from elimination.

Cat God: Go! Go now! It's started!

Bahamut: I don't think this challenge is very fair.

Naala: Me neither. We have been fortunate, so we may as well use it.

Bahamut, Naala, Idi, Filibuster, Valkyrie, Dogumaru, and Jagando begin striking their base repeatedly.

Dogumaru: This is tiring...

Filibuster: Good news, because we've got something else for you to deal with!

Several Doges exit the base and begin complaining.

Doge 1: Hey! What do you idiotic Cats think you're doing to our base!

Doge 2: We worked very hard on this!

Dogumaru: I see. I'll be defense.

Dogumaru blocks the exit to the base. The Doges cannot get out to interfere.

Valkyrie: Good work, you all. Especially Idi and Jagando, somehow?!

Naala: They're telling me that destruction is their specialty!

Jagando (by telepathy): That's right! All will cower!

Idi (by telepathy): Affirmative.

The mask-themed team is doing decently.

Yulala: We've got to keep going! I think our team will end up second place!

Uril: I'll keep these Doges at bay with surges, just focus on damage!

Urs & Ururun: We're tired!

Hermit: Let's think about the best way about this... you two ride cat-beasts, correct?

Ururun: Oh, that's right!

Urs: I can't believe I forgot! Minka, let's destroy this thing.

The cat-beasts attack the base, boosting destruction.

Luza is dealing the most damage, damaging the tower greatly with every swing.

Hermit: Normally, patience is a virtue but haste is the main element here! I am quite displeased at Cat God's challenge choice.

Yulala: It's my turn to be wise; cease thy bickering and applaud thy contributors, Hermit.

Hermit: ...good job, Luza.

Luza responds with a strange looking thumbs-up.

The last team is struggling.

Eraser Cat: What a SHAM! I am NOT a user of very good OFFENSE!

Mecha-Bun (mech): We're trying our best here, but it's not enough.

Mina: Then our solution is simple! We need to come up with a good enough team name to escape last place.

Musashi: Well, how about a name themed after why we joined? I first stuck with Moneko so we could get that collab video done.

Mohawk Cat: I joined to hang out with cool people!

Moneko: I solved the base-damaging problem!

Moneko has convinced the Doges to help destroy the base.

Li'l Nyandam: Our name's Moneko Fan Club!

Cat God: Is that the first team name I hear?

Mohawk Cat: NOOO, no no no no! Not yet, we were still deciding!

Cat God: Oh. Okay.

Cat God leaves.

Musashi: That could have gone a lot worse.

Cat God: WE HAVE OUR FIRST FINISHERS! What's your team name?

Bahamut: Completely forgot about that...

Naala: Well, looking at most of us, we're peacekeepers.

Idi (by telepathy): Yes.

Cat God: "Peacekeepers, Yes" it is!

Valkyrie: You- what is wrong with you?!

Cat God: Accidental names are great! It's not like your team needs a strong name to be in a good spot, anyways.

Jagando (by telepathy): Screw you!

The other teams are finishing their towers at similar rates.

Doron: We might be in danger...

Uril: If there's one thing being a tower master has taught me, it's to never give up!

Ururun: Really?

Uril: No. But regardless, it's team name time since we might fall behind.

Urs: Ururun, you mentioned the mask theme earlier. Let's go with that!

Yulala: I like it! Guild of Masks!

Hermit: I'm not-

Yulala: Roll with it!

Hermit: I suppose I count even if I don't have my mask on my person.

Doron: I like it... I think it's inspiring. It could be good material...

Ururun: Ooh, material for what? Are you an artist?

Doron: Uh... I don't...

Luza lands the finishing hit on the base and cheers.

Cat God: Our second team is finished! What's your team name?

Uril: Guild of Masks!

Cat God: I see... very thematic. That puts you in second place so far! Good job!

Urs: But... there are only two teams that have finished.

Cat God: I know that. It's time to judge the last team!

Cat God goes over to the last team.

Eraser Cat: This CHALLENGE was RIGGED!

Li'l Nyandam: We're the Moneko Fan Club.

Cat God: What an excellent name! If I were competing, I would join that club for sure!

Moneko: Thanks?

Cat God: That'll save you from your disgraceful loss! You're second place now!

Moneko Fan Club cheers. Guild of Masks groans.

Cat God: Our first team up for elimination is the Guild of Masks!

Yulala: What a disaster.

Vote to eliminate one contestant from the Guild of Masks using this form: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLScv0YR219Q1tfQnLUvAJDblpPVT6pM2tclbSuVGYV4sBbStMg/viewform

The contestant with the most votes will be eliminated! Voting ends April 20th, 2023 or whenever 5 votes are received if there are less than 5 by 4/20/23.

Cat God checks to make sure nobody is watching him and pulls out a miniature green portal.

Cat God: Gotta get stuff for the next challenge...

Cat God passes a note through the portal.

After a few minutes, some supplies pour out, with another note.

???: What could you be up to, you devil? I am very interested and hope you will allow me in one day. Thanks, your pen pal

Moneko Fan Club: Moneko, Mohawk Cat, Eraser Cat, Li’l Nyandam, Mina, Musashi, Mecha-Bun

Guild of Masks: Ururun, Urs, Doron, Hermit, Yulala, Uril, Luza

Peacekeepers, Yes?: Bahamut, Idi, Jagando, Naala, Filibuster, Valkyrie, Dogumaru

Chapter Text

The day after the last challenge, the Guild of Masks is discussing the incoming elimination.

Uril: Alright, let's run some predictions. Who's going to get out?

Yulala: How are we supposed to know? We don't know who the viewers are, so we don't know who they'd want out.

Hermit: I have been quite respected as tower master...

Yulala: Suuuuure.

Hermit: ...which MEANS, Yulala, that it's likely not me, or any of us three for that matter.

Urs: Do I get to be part of this discussion? Is it a Heavenly Tower members-only thing or...?

Uril: Go right ahead.

Urs: It could be Luza. He doesn't say anything.

Ururun (from a distance): NO WAY! LUZA IS THE STRONGEST ONE!

Yulala: Do we even know if strength means anything to voters?

The group begin arguing and talking over each other. Luza gets up and leaves.

He then goes to Doron, who is drawing in dirt with a stick away from the group.

Doron: What?

Luza gives Doron a crooked thumbs-up.

Doron: It's, uh... a project. Or a draft, at least.

Luza points at the rest of the group.

Doron: No, I don't...

Ururun screams.

Ururun: IT'S HIM! RUN!

Cat God has shown up wearing sunglasses and a flower-pattern vest.

Cat God: Why the negative response?! I just got here!

Cat God does not get an answer to this question for a few seconds.

Uril: ...because one of us is going to be eliminated?

Cat God: Ohhh, thanks for reminding me! I got all dressed up for the challenge and I nearly forgot to get this done first. Let's just get straight to the votes.

* * *

Urs: I don't know too much about these kinds of shows, but isn't there some... formalities for elimination?

Cat God: What, do you want a theme song out of me? Fine, listen to this.

Cat God attempts to beatbox.

Yulala: Make it stop...

Cat God: Fine! Let's actually begin. We got 5 votes in total. First, I'll announce the people who received 0 votes!

Cat God: Safe with 0 votes are Ururun, Urs, Uril, Luza, and Doron!

Urs: There go all our predictions.

Uril: It's good to be safe, but we may be about to lose an important teammate.

Hermit: May be? I say we all have our contributions. I am no more valuable than Yulala.

Yulala: Yes! We're on the same wavelength today!

Cat God: Indeed you are, because you two are our vote-getters!

Cat God: First vote goes to Yulala. This one says you're impatient and bullied Hermit.

Yulala: I suppose I could have stood to wait a bit more...

Cat God: Second vote also to Yulala! It reads... "Pipis".

Yulala: ...what?

Cat God: Don't look at me like I know! Third vote goes to Hermit. This voting reason REALLY goes in depth. Apparently you don't have family connections, aren't strong, aren't mysterious, and aren't as capable of teamwork!

Hermit: Self-improvement is of the essence to survive in this game, I see. I will take this lesson.

Cat God: Fourth vote also goes to Hermit! The voter says that you're the blandest of the bunch.

Hermit: ...I will take that as well.

Yulala: Even if we're at the bottom, you should still be more cheerful! You got more sophisticated voting reasons.

Cat God: One last vote, and it's for... Yulala! It just says "funni".

Yulala: Dang it! Well, it was a quick but enjoyable game. I'll see you all at the tower.

Cat God: No you won't.

Yulala: Whuh?

Cat God throws an orange ring onto the ground, and it grows into a portal. On the other side is what looks like a hotel lobby.

Cat God: You're getting sent to the hotel.

Yulala: Uh. Why?

Cat God: They're a classic in elimination shows! Get in! Now! Find your room or something, I didn't blow a ton of the budget on it for nothing!

Yulala: Room service?

Cat God: There's a dining area...?

Yulala runs into the portal.

Cat God: What a hassle. Can one of you explain this to people on the other teams so I don't have to again?

Ururun: I'll do it!

Cat God: Good! Now it's time for the challenge.

Cat God pulls out a megaphone.

Cat God (by megaphone): THE SECOND CHALLENGE IS BEGINNING NOW! GET OVER HERE!

The other teams arrive.

Li'l Nyandam: Can this wait? Some of us are busy!

Cat God: What's more important than this?

Li'l Nyandam: Uh, I dunno... anything else?

Cat God: Are you stalling for time?

Mohawk Cat: You were supposed to stall for longer!

Cat God: Alright, noted... be punctual today!

Cat God: I'm sure you've all got two things on your mind! First, you don't need to compliment my outfit; I already know. Second, the challenge is going to be a fight!

Dogumaru: Does he always pick strength-based competitions?

Cat God: No! Also, it's more interesting than that. We'll do seven rounds of fighting, with a random member of each team going up every round. Everyone goes up at least once, though.

Cat God: First person to fall out or get killed each round loses a point for their team! If they fell out or got killed because of someone else, their team gets a point! Most points at the end wins!

Ururun walks up to Cat God.

Ururun: Is this a bad time to ask something?

Cat God: Yes. Spit it out!

Ururun: Where's our prizes for being safe?

Cat God: Well, I was planning on doing this anyway, but it's your prize now. The teams with extra members every challenge from now on get a disadvantage!

Many people gasp.

Cat God: Since the Guild of Masks has only 6 members, they get no disadvantage. With the other two, it's time to spin the patented...

Cat God pulls two small spinners out of his pocket.

Cat God: Disadvantage Adjusting Tools (Awesome)! Or DATA for short, since it sounds sick.

Cat God spins both of the spinners.

Cat God: By holy decree of DATA, Mina on Moneko Fan Club and Bahamut on Peacekeepers, Yes? receive the disadvantage!

Mina: Tell us what the disadvantage is or just start the game already! This is taking too long.

Cat God begins the first round.

Mina: You-! Fine!

Mina was warped into a thick forested area on a giant floating platform. There is a speaker suspended above the island.

Cat God (over speaker): The participants this round are Mina, Hermit, and Idi! Good luck!

Mina: What an idiot... he wants us to kill each other?

Mina stops and looks at her bazooka.

Mina: ...nevermind. This can work!

* * *

Idi is wandering around the large platform. She enters the center from a desert area. The center is flat concrete.

Idi stops and scans around, finding Hermit in the center.

Hermit: I'm not going to go down easily. You may pick a better target if you'd like.

Idi turns to look at the forested area, then turns back to face Hermit and charges at him.

Hermit: Don't say I didn't warn you...

Hermit leaps over Idi's charge and throws his staff mid-air, hitting Idi directly in the head.

Hermit: I said I'd take someone's lesson! I'll show what I've got right here!

Idi charges again, but moves upward midway, barely missing Hermit, who leaps again.

Mina is observing the fight from a bush. She aims her bazooka at Idi when she is stopped.

Mina: Clear target. This challenge is easy!

Mina's bazooka jams, making a loud noise.

Mina: What.

Idi snaps to face Mina. Hermit turns around.

Idi charges directly at Mina, with Hermit following.

Mina: That's the disadvantage?! CAT GOD, YOU HAVE TO TELL US THESE THINGS!

Idi rams into Mina, sending her flying. Before she can fall off, Hermit catches her.

Hermit: I've got you!

Mina: ...thanks?

Hermit pushes Mina off himself.

Mina (falling): WHAT!

Cat God (over speaker): Mina lost the first round, putting her team at -1 points! Hermit gets 1 point for his team!

Eraser Cat: SEND ME UP NEXT AND I WILL DESTROY!

Cat God: Hey, the spinner picks you, not me! But you're lucky, because the competitors this time are Eraser Cat, Urs, and Filibuster!

Filibuster: Hey, wait-!

Cat God warps everybody to the arena again. Filibuster is directly in the center.

Filibuster: Figures.

Filibuster: ...everyone else on my team is pretty well known for their strength in some way. I'm going to have to do good early if I want some respect.

Filibuster: But fighting isn't my strong suit! Not any more, at least! It's just that-

Urs (whispering): Stop thinking out loud! She'll hear you.

Urs has snuck up behind Filibuster.

Filibuster (whispering): Why are you helping me?! Also, are you talking about Eraser? She's all talk and no action.

Urs (whispering): Did you see her last challenge? She was vicious. Do NOT get fooled. Also, I'm helping you because we need Moneko Fan Club to lose.

Filibuster (whispering): ...why?

Urs (whispering): They're a point down already. As long as we keep bringing them down, we'll be good.

Filibuster (whispering): Is cross-teaming even allowed?!

Urs (whispering): ...maybe? Uh, it's alright if you don't want your team involved; I'll respect that. But let's have an agreement between us right now.

Filibuster: Alright! I could use some allies.

Urs (whispering): Wait, not so loud!

Eraser Cat spots them from the forested area and charges directly at them.

Eraser Cat: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!

Eraser Cat tackles and starts biting at Urs. Filibuster floats upwards.

Urs: You just now remembered to do that?!

Filibuster: I've got this!

Filibuster grabs Eraser Cat from the top and throws her like a javelin.

Eraser Cat (being launched away): YOU FIGHT LIKE A COWARD!

Cat God (over speaker): Eraser Cat's out, putting Moneko Fan Club at -2 points! Filibuster gets a point for his team!

Valkyrie: Not bad.

Filibuster: Thank you!

Bahamut: Cat God, people have questions! What's the disadvantage, and why are you dressed like that?

Cat God: I thought that was obvious. You don't get to fly or use your extreme power, and I'm dressed to spectate, complete with sunglasses and a cool beverage! I don't have the beverage yet, though.

Ururun takes Cat God's spinners and spins them.

Cat God: Wh- Stop! Thief!

The spinners choose Uril, Jagando, and Moneko.

Cat God: Fine. Those three can go.

* * *

Moneko is in an snow-covered area of the arena. She has decided to stay in place and just wait out the round.

Suddenly, the other two begin fighting loudly. The fight moves closer to her.

Moneko: No, no, no, no, NO!

Uril: You're no match for me!

Jagando smacks Uril past Moneko and near the edge of the arena.

Uril: I'm not going to take tha- wait, you're a much easier target.

Moneko makes a snowball and prepares to throw it.

Moneko: Don't try it!

Jagando then tackles Uril again, sending both of them off the platform. Moneko throws her snowball at them while they fall and hits Jagando.

Cat God (over speaker): Does that...? Yeah, that counts. Moneko gets a point for her team and Jagando loses one. Score's now -1 for Moneko Fan Club, 0 for Peacekeepers, Yes? and 1 for Guild of Masks.

Cat God (over speaker): I'm going to send you all back, and we'll go straight into the next round! No time to waste! The fighters this time around are Li'l Nyandam, Luza, and Dogumaru!

* * *

Li'l Nyandam: Luza. Help me out here.

Luza turns around, bewildered at Li'l Nyandam.

Li'l Nyandam: You know what I really hate? Losing! And we're about to! Help me out and there's gonna be something in it for you!

Luza doesn't know how to respond and just keeps staring at Li'l Nyandam.

Li'l Nyandam: If you help me take down Dogumaru, I'll... teach you sign language. Yeah, that's right!

Luza nods at this.

Li'l Nyandam: Yes! This will be a wonderful partnership!

Li'l Nyandam: Here's the plan: First, we find Dogumaru. Second-

Cat God (over speaker): Hey, uh... Dogumaru fell off the arena. Peacekeepers, Yes? is tied with Moneko Fan Club at -1 points.

Li'l Nyandam: ...no fair! Cat God, I deserve a point for that! I came up with a whole strategy!

Cat God: I mean this in the nicest way possible: you are like, 5 years old, so I'm not going to listen to you.

Naala: Dogumaru, what happened?

Dogumaru: Got warped directly on the edge. Tried to step back and fell right off.

Naala: It's alright. Everyone makes these mistakes, and we're not going to blame you for it.

Dogumaru: Really? Alright, this team's even better than I thought!

Naala: Cooperation in a team is key to- the next round started.

Naala is in the desert area of the arena.

Cat God (over speaker): It's Mohawk Cat, Ururun, and Naala this time! Fight!

Naala: I didn't think violence would be such a big part of this competition when I joined... it goes against what I stand for.

Ururun (in the distance): WOO! I'M GONNA WIN! YEAH!

Naala: Oh no.

Mohawk Cat runs at Naala but then stops.

Mohawk Cat: Oh.

Naala: Yeah...

Mohawk Cat: So that's not gonna...

Naala: You know, let's just... both end the round at the same time.

Mohawk Cat: Or we could try to get Ururun?

Naala: No...

Mohawk Cat: I see your goals and stuff, but it's for the challenge. Your team's not gonna like it if you don't.

Naala: You can go ahead, then. I'll just try to avoid conflict this time.

Mohawk Cat: Your loss.

Mohawk Cat runs over to where Ururun is screaming.

Moments later, Mohawk Cat flies out of the arena, having been launched like a football.

Cat God (over speaker): Guild of Masks is on a roll today at 2 points! Moneko Fan Club sits at -2, and Peacekeepers, Yes? are at -1.

Cat God: Oh holy spinner, say your decree!

Cat God spins the spinners for two teams.

Cat God: Musashi goes from Moneko Fan Club, and Bahamut from Peacekeepers, Yes? Doron also goes since he's the last one left to go on his team.

* * *

Bahamut: This is a really awkward position.

Musashi: It is.

Bahamut and Musashi have been teleported right next to each other in the forest area.

Musashi: Have you been paying attention to Doron last challenge?

Bahamut: Yeah. Also, like, in general. Are you talking about...?

Musashi: Yeah, I think he wants to get out of here as soon as possible.

Musashi: ...you have a disadvantage, so I'm just going to throw you off the platform.

Bahamut: Everyone needs to be humbled every once in a while, I suppose...

* * *

Cat God: Okay, people who aren't in the ring right now! Just gonna give you a heads up that someone random from Guild of Masks is going up next time.

Cat God: Also, there's gonna be Mecha-Bun from Moneko Fan Club and Valkyrie from Peacekeepers, Yes? since they're the last ones.

Cat God: Finally, I've said all the prerequisite stuff! I can finally subject you all to my ramblings about random stuff I like! So one time, I was hanging out after hours when some Cat general or something-

Bahamut slams against the ground.

Cat God: Aw, DANG IT! Someone go bring him back, I'll just start the next round. Musashi got him, so points right now are 2 for Guild of Masks, -1 for Moneko Fan Club, and -2 for Peacekeepers, Yes?

* * *

Valkyrie (whispering): I have got to kill someone.

Cat God (over speaker): Hey, I'm throwing in Ururun from Guild of Masks.

Valkyrie (whispering): Perfect.

Valkyrie scouts around the desert area, then the forest area, and then the snowy area, finding nobody.

Valkyrie: How in the...? Where is anyone?

Ururun (muffled, from below): Oh my gosh, she's totally falling for it.

Mecha-Bun (pilot, muffled, from below): She might hear us, though!

Valkyrie goes to the edge of the arena and looks under the platform. Mecha-Bun is floating directly underneath it with Ururun.

Valkyrie: What the hell.

Mecha-Bun (mech): We've been found.

Ururun: Come and get us!

Valkyrie: You are going to give me a migraine. Is this even allowed?!

Cat God (over speaker): The goal was not to fall off, and they're not... on the platform? But did they actually fall off?

Valkyrie: I think that counts.

Cat God (over speaker): Whatever you say!

Valkyrie: End the round and stop talking to me.

Cat God (over speaker): I guess Moneko Fan Club and Guild of Masks both lose a point, and Peacekeepers, Yes? get two, putting the final scores at 1, 1, and -2!

Eraser Cat: WHAT! YOU'RE GIVING THEM TWO POINTS? SINCE WHEN WAS THAT ALLOWED?

Cat God: No matter which way I shuffle the points here, your team loses.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): You need to clarify rules better.

Ururun: Yeah!

Cat God: The second team up for elimination is the Moneko Fan Club!

Vote to eliminate one contestant from Moneko Fan Club using this form: https://forms.gle/ndH3vBvWUbdL2MtZ8

The contestant with the most votes will be eliminated! Voting ends June 10th, 2023 or later if less than 5 votes are received.

Cat God: Hey.

Yulala: About time someone showed up! How long are you keeping me here all alone?!

Cat God: The next elimination hasn't happened yet! It hasn't even been a day!

Yulala: I admit there's a ton of stuff to do here, but where's the fun if I ain't got anyone to have fun with? Give me someone!

Cat God: Okay, uh... I can give you a TV.

Yulala: Not really what I was going for but I'll take it.

Cat God: You can watch the next eliminations. You'll also get to see the next person join you in real time!

Yulala: In real time?

Cat God: In real time. The future is now, old man.

Moneko Fan Club: Moneko, Mohawk Cat, Eraser Cat, Li’l Nyandam, Mina, Musashi, Mecha-Bun

Guild of Masks: Ururun, Urs, Doron, Hermit, Yulala, Uril, Luza

Peacekeepers, Yes?: Bahamut, Idi, Jagando, Naala, Filibuster, Valkyrie, Dogumaru

Chapter Text

Moneko Fan Club is sitting down when they are approached by Ururun.

Ururun: Hey, besties!

Moneko: Hey, Ururun.

Li'l Nyandam: Are we really your besties? You don't talk to us that much.

Ururun: I need an excuse to get away from my family for a bit. They're cool, but a little much sometimes.

Musashi: Well, you're welcome to hang out with our team when we're not competing.

Eraser Cat: COLLUSION!

Ururun: Call it collusion, but you're gonna want to hear this. So I told Cat God that I'd explain the elimination rules so he didn't have to again, so here it goes.

Ururun: If you got the most votes, you lose and you get sent to the hotel for like... ever? I don't know...

Mohawk Cat: ...the hotel?!

Ururun: Yes, the hotel!

Mohawk Cat: We have no idea what that is.

Ururun: Um, it's just some hotel he built where you go after you get eliminated.

Moneko: That actually doesn't sound that bad.

Ururun: Ooh, also you get to know why people voted for you.

Eraser Cat: I suppose a COLLUDER like YOU got some SCATHING reasons!

Ururun: Nobody voted for me though...

Cat God warps to the group. His phone is making a very loud alarm sound.

Cat God: Hey people, it's time to get eliminated! I'm actually on time today!

Cat God: Okay, roll call... you're missing Mina and Mecha-Bun. Also, Ururun can leave.

Moneko: Mina said she was going to be busy with something. Mecha-Bun said he'd be back in a bit, too.

Cat God: Too bad! It starts now!

Li'l Nyandam slaps Cat God's phone out of his hand and turns off the alarm.

Mohawk Cat: Nice one, dude!

Cat God: Not nice one! Don't touch my stuff!

* * *

Cat God: The Moneko Fan Club made the mistake of losing last time! Now, someone's getting sent away! First of all, we'll announce who got 0 votes. There's 5 votes in total!

Cat God: Those lucky few are Mina, Musashi, and Eraser Cat!

Eraser Cat: Victory is GUARANTEED for the BRAVE and the NOBLE!

Mina: Good to know that I'm not getting kicked out just for losing. I don't expect to fail without a disadvantage, though.

Musashi: Hooray? It still sucks to lose someone.

Cat God: Three of you received one vote, and one of you received two votes to leave the show.

Cat God: Mohawk Cat!

Mohawk Cat: Am I out?

Cat God: No. You got one vote, and it just says... "Mohawk".

Mohawk Cat: Is that supposed to be a complaint about my hairstyle?! I'm never changing that! I'll stay radical until the day I die!

Cat God: Good for you, I guess. Next safe is Mecha-Bun. Your vote reason really tears into you! Let's see what we got...

Cat God: This voter favors Moneko and Musashi for winning their rounds in the competition. They also say the basic cats Mohawk and Eraser fighting the rest of you is real comical!

Eraser Cat: COMICAL?! I'll tell you what's COMICAL, that I'M expected to win CONTESTS made for PEOPLE WITH ARMS! Underdog that I am, I WILL WIN!

Mohawk Cat: Underdog?!

Eraser Cat: ...undercat? I see your point, my friend.

Cat God: The voter isn't going after Mina because she had a handicap...

Mina: Good choice.

Cat God: And Li'l Nyandam didn't lose nor did he prove his worth. You get the vote because your two-in-one aspect isn't utilized.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): We'll show you!

Cat God: You might! I think this next challenge may work well for you.

Cat God: The final two are Moneko and Li'l Nyandam. One of you got one vote, and the other one got two. Let's see what viewers have to say!

Cat God: A Moneko voter says that "it would be hilarious if the fan club loses the idol first." It would be!

Moneko: I didn't really pick the team name, though. I guess I'll try to be more of a leader anyways.

Cat God: Li'l Nyandam got a vote reason with a signature! It says "he kinda looks like Cell from Dragon Ball. - Certaminis". I feel like I've heard that name before... but I don't remember right now.

Li'l Nyandam: Oh, ha-ha. I look ugly. Great reason, despite the fact that I came up with a winning strategy!

Cat God: Hey, they never said Cell looked ugly. Now, the second person eliminated from CGCFB is...

Cat God: Li'l Nyandam! This last voter says "crybaby now has to teach ASL in the hotel". Good luck with that.

Li'l Nyandam: Crybaby?! Really?! Is it a crime to ask for fairness?!

Musashi: You did kinda scream at Cat God last time for free points.

Li'l Nyandam: You heard my strategy last challenge, right? It's a good one! You better follow through with it if you want a chance at winning this!

Cat God throws another orange ring on the ground, forming a portal to the hotel. Yulala is looking through it, sitting on a couch and watching a television.

Yulala: Man, and I thought I got roasted!

Li'l Nyandam: Whatever. I'm taking me and my Cat to this hotel and I'm gonna make it back somehow! Rejoin challenge, I'm claiming that gold!

Li'l Nyandam steps halfway through the portal and then looks back.

Li'l Nyandam: You were a good team, though. I've got respect for you.

Cat God closes the portal with Li'l Nyandam inside.

Cat God: Well, elimination's over. Challenge starts in a bit.

* * *

Mecha-Bun (mech): What do you think he meant when he said this challenge might be a good one for us?

Mecha-Bun (pilot): It has to do with that vote reason, about the two-in-one thing. I mean, you don't really need me to sit here and pilot. I think the challenge is gonna involve me getting out and doing stuff.

Mohawk Cat: Hey, are you two good?

Mecha-Bun (both): Yeah.

Mohawk Cat: Can you believe the votes? Like, I've got no idea what I did wrong!

Mecha-Bun (mech): It can be frustrating, but we simply must move forward.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Or, we can analyze what we did and see how we can move forward.

Mecha-Bun (mech): There's not much to extrapolate from, though.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): We have to do something. Otherwise, we get voted for the same reason!

Mohawk Cat: Okay, starting to think you two aren't actually good. We've got the challenge ahead, so let's just... try not arguing.

Mecha-Bun (both): Fine.

* * *

Cat God: Alright, everyone's here. It's time we use the DATA again! Someone on Peacekeepers, Yes? gets a disadvantage.

Cat God spins the spinner, and it lands on Idi.

Cat God: Here's how the challenge goes. You three teams will be split into captors and flags in a game of Capture the Flag! There are four captors per team, and everyone else is a flag.

Cat God: Each team gets a big circle that flags stay in. The goal is to capture a flag and bring them back to your team's circle to win immunity! Last team to do so is up for elimination.

Cat God: Flags can fight back, by the way! Captors can also try to defend their own flags instead of going on full offense. Here's the list of captors and flags:

Cat God unfolds a giant piece of paper. The captors and flags of each team are listed.

FLAGS: Eraser Cat, Moneko on MFC / Bahamut, Valkyrie, Jagando on P, Y? / Luza, Uril on GoM

CAPTORS: Musashi, Mohawk Cat, Mina, Mecha-Bun on MFC / Idi, Naala, Filibuster, Dogumaru on P, Y? / Ururun, Urs, Doron, Hermit on GoM

Valkyrie: You better tell us the disadvantage before the challenge this time.

Cat God: Less powerful hits. That's about it.

Cat God: Move to your circles! MFC to pink, GoM to green, P,Y? to purple!

Everyone moves to their circles.

Cat God: Now GO!

* * *

Urs: We did good last challenge! If we want to keep that momentum, we've got to put our strengths together.

Hermit: That is a good idea. Let's make an ideal strategy.

Urs: Hermit, I think you should go on offense, since you're pretty agile.

Hermit: Good point.

Ururun: I wanted to do offense!

Hermit: I suppose we both can do that.

Ururun: But we can't go for the Moneko Fan Club.

Urs: ...why not?

Ururun: I called them besties earlier today! I can't un-bestie them! It's just not possible!

Hermit: The challenge comes first for now. I'm sure they'll understand.

Luza points towards some incoming captors from Peacekeepers, Yes? Nobody is looking at him.

Urs: Am I staying on defense then?

Ururun: I guess. But aren't Uril and Luza, like, super strong?

Luza slams the ground to get people to pay attention. People do not pay attention.

Urs: They can handle themselves well. Good point!

Doron has been sketching in the ground.

Urs: Doron, do you have any suggestions?

Doron's sketch is a more detailed plan, involving pincer maneuvers, position swapping, and the like.

Doron: ...I think this works.

Luza physically turns Doron to face the incoming captors.

Doron: Wait, there's people coming for us.

Uril: This is the strategy that will work!

Hermit: ...what?

The other team's captors arrive to Guild of Masks' circle.

Filibuster: Okay, I thought it through. I think your idea was right!

Urs: Uh.

Uril: Ah, so you did tell him!

Hermit leaps and throws his staff directly at the other attacker.

Dogumaru: OW!

Uril: Stop fighting! Let me explain this.

Ururun: What is happening?!

Uril: I intended to start this last challenge, but couldn't because I was paired against Jagando, who can't talk. So Urs delivered the message!

Urs: I mentioned something like a truce.

Dogumaru: Is this why you brought me here, Filibuster?

Filibuster: Yeah. If we team up together, we can make the last team lose.

Uril: Precisely! Simply put, if they keep losing, we keep winning, and we all advance in the game.

Urs: You don't have to bring the rest of your team into this, Filibuster.

Filibuster: I've got to do something to win.

Uril: Now let's take action. I suggest you all go for Moneko Fan Club before they get to us.

Filibuster and Dogumaru leave. Urs and Ururun follow later after exchanging unsure glances.

Hermit: What are you doing?!

Uril: We have winning to do.

Hermit: This is reckless! It puts our team and their team in danger!

Uril: You aren't experienced like I am. I know that if something isn't banned, it's fair game!

Hermit: You're lucky I waited until your granddaughter left to tell you off!

Uril: Do you want us to lose?

Luza walks towards Doron and away from the two.

Hermit: I'm leaving to do the challenge in a way that's actually fair!

* * *

Bahamut: Does anyone know why Filibuster and Dogumaru just ran off?

Valkyrie: Looked like they were headed to Guild of Masks. Also, it was more like Filibuster ran off and dragged Dogumaru with him.

Naala: Should Idi and I go help them out or go for the other team?

Idi (by telepathy): Targets on remaining team are ideal.

Naala: Got it. Let's go!

Naala and Idi head towards the Moneko Fan Club.

Valkyrie: Since we finally have some downtime, can I ask you something?

Bahamut: Sure.

Valkyrie: Am I the only one here who dislikes Cat God?

Bahamut: Well... I don't think too many people like him. It's more like he's got the prize we're all after.

Valkyrie: I'm talking about how he's weird about me specifically. You've caught on, right?

Bahamut: It's an awkward topic.

Valkyrie: It's important.

Bahamut: I know.

Valkyrie: I'm going to make sure it stops as soon as possible. Are you going to help me out?

Bahamut: ...yeah. Sorry for being apprehensive.

Valkyrie: I get it.

Jagando throws the two a glare.

Bahamut: We've been talking in front of Jagando the whole time.

Valkyrie: I think he's trying to tell us to shut up.

Bahamut: Let's shut up, then.

* * *

Eraser Cat: I am BORED of SITTING in a CIRCLE!

Moneko: I know! Wanna record some samples?

Eraser Cat: WHAT!

Moneko: You know, when you put a sample in a song. I'm a pop singer.

Eraser Cat: Give me one!

Moneko: You're supposed to record it. Here, I'll record and you say something cool.

Filibuster, Dogumaru, Urs, and Ururun are all running at the circle.

Eraser Cat: AAAAAA!!!

Moneko: Nice! Do another!

Eraser Cat: INCOMING!

Moneko: You're pretty good at this!

Eraser Cat: TURN AROUND!

Moneko: Not sure about that one.

Eraser Cat: TEAMMATES, COME BACK!

Musashi (from a distance): We have to go back!

Mina (from a distance): No, we don't! Watch!

Filibuster: We have come for your flags!

Dogumaru: ...did none of your teammates stay on defense?

Eraser Cat: The MASTER PLAN unfolds! Soon one of your FLAGS will be CAPTURED by our LEGIONS!

Moneko: ...yeah! You better be scared!

Eraser Cat: No... be TERRIFIED!

Ururun: Urs! We gotta go back! They're gonna take our teammates!

Urs: Didn't we say they could handle themselves?

Ururun: Not against legions! Come on, we gotta help them out!

Urs: I'll stay here. You can go help them out.

Ururun starts running back to her circle.

Filibuster: Our team's got powerful people on defense. You can't defeat them!

Naala and Idi are running towards the area.

Dogumaru: Wait, we don't have anyone on defense!

Moneko (whispering to Eraser Cat): As long as we can keep stalling them like this, we'll be safe.

Eraser Cat: HA! We have a STRATEGY so GOOD, it's IMPOSSIBLE to WIN against us!

Naala: I thought you two were attacking Guild of Masks!

Filibuster: Uh.

Dogumaru: Um.

Urs: Mmm.

Idi (by telepathy): The situation is being used to stall. Act.

Eraser Cat: No FAIR!

Naala: I'm not sure who to go for at all!

Idi (by telepathy): Pick quickly.

Naala creates lightning and strikes Filibuster with it.

Filibuster: Why me?! I'm on your team!

Naala: It was a mistake!

Moneko: Eraser, MOVE!

Mina, in the distance, fires a rocket at the crowd.

Mina (from a distance): HA HA HA!

The explosion makes an absurdly loud sound as it hits the center of the group. People go flying in various directions.

Eraser Cat: AAA!

Eraser Cat lands very close to Guild of Masks' circle.

Ururun: Ooh! Free flag!

Ururun picks up Eraser Cat and throws her into the circle.

Eraser Cat: How DARE you!

Cat God: Guild of Masks comes in first place for the second time in a row! Just so you know, your team's flags can still be captured.

Uril: A little unconventional, but I see you've made it work.

Ururun: Yeah!

Hermit walks back towards Guild of Masks' circle.

Hermit: Doesn't seem like that win was because of your strategy.

Uril: We used it and we got first. I see no problem here.

* * *

Musashi: We have no more time to spare!

Mina: We have no more time to plan. I say we try the 'shoot a rocket' strategy again.

Mohawk Cat: Hey! They're getting away with our other flag!

Filibuster is trying to drag Moneko to his team's circle.

Mina: Not fair! He's a small target AND an airborne one?!

Mecha-Bun (pilot): You have to do it.

Mecha-Bun (mech): Really?!

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Aim! Quickly!

Mecha-Bun aims and throws the pilot at Filibuster.

Musashi: Run after them! If that hits, we can follow up!

Every captor on Moneko Fan Club runs after the captors.

Filibuster: OH MY-

Filibuster gets smashed by a direct hit from Mecha-Bun's pilot, instantly knocking both of them unconscious.

Moneko: Nice shot!

Urs, Dogumaru, Naala, and Idi prepare to fight Mecha-Bun, Musashi, Mohawk Cat, and Mina. Moneko runs back to her circle.

Musashi: We're going to tear you up!

Naala: We aren't giving up our flags!

Mina: No time for conversation! ROCKET LAUNCHER!

Idi rams into Mina to stop her. This does nothing.

Idi (by telepathy): Weakening of output is greater than expected...

Mina runs into the enemy's crowd and shoots a rocket at the ground, knocking them away and letting her rocket jump.

Mina makes a clean landing in Peacekeepers, Yes?'s circle, snatches Valkyrie, and starts booking it back to her circle.

Valkyrie:  YOU?!

Mina: I have wanted to do this for SO LONG!

Mina bursts through the crowd and nearly makes it to her circle.

Cat God: And Peacekeepers, Yes? win the last immunity this round!

Mohawk Cat: WHAT?!

Eraser Cat (from a distance): WHAT?!

Everyone either looks at Cat God in bewilderment or at Peacekeepers, Yes?'s circle.

Hermit: Uril?!

Uril, during all the chaos, walked himself over to Peacekeepers, Yes?'s circle and captured himself.

Uril: It seems I've been captured! How tragic.

Cat God: What a twist! It looks like the third team up for elimination is the Moneko Fan Club for a second time in a row!

Vote to eliminate one contestant from Moneko Fan Club using this form: https://forms.gle/VZ4VpHncsYU5ZgG39

The contestant with the most votes will be eliminated! Voting ends June 21st, 2023.

Mohawk Cat: Hey, Musashi. I've been meaning to ask you something.

Musashi: Yeah?

Mohawk Cat: Aren't you, like, possessed by a Cat ghost?

Musashi: Can we not talk about this right now?

Mohawk Cat: Come on, why not?

Musashi's Cat ghost suddenly appears above him.

Mohawk Cat: Woah!

Musashi (ghost): Because it attracts paparazzi every time! Now let me keep napping!

Musashi: See?

Mohawk Cat: I get it.

Moneko Fan Club: Moneko, Mohawk Cat, Eraser Cat, Li’l Nyandam, Mina, Musashi, Mecha-Bun

Guild of Masks: Ururun, Urs, Doron, Hermit, Yulala, Uril, Luza

Peacekeepers, Yes?: Bahamut, Idi, Jagando, Naala, Filibuster, Valkyrie, Dogumaru

Chapter Text

Cat God sits alone, far from anyone else. He silently pulls out the miniature green portal.

He begins scribbling on a piece of paper and throws it into the portal. The portal spits another back out.

This continues for several minutes. Strewn papers read a variety of messages. They seem to be of a conversation about one particular contestant.

Cat God (mumbling): What do you even want...

Several materials are haphazardly thrown out of the green portal. A board smacks Cat God in the face.

Cat God: OW! Augh!

The barrage of materials stops as another piece of paper is passed through.

???: I need that contestant. I believe you're quite ahead of me, and it is essential for the big event to happen. Do your season quickly. I am intrigued by it, but I need my payment.

Cat God puts away the portal and starts building with the new materials.

* * *

Bahamut: Did anyone tell us how eliminations go?

Filibuster: We haven't lost yet, though?

Bahamut: Well, we'll be there at some point. It's good to know.

Idi (by telepathy): Losing contestants gather. Viewers have voted. The most voted is sent away.

Bahamut: So not much different than I was expecting.

Dogumaru: It makes sense.

Jagando pulls out a clock and points at it.

Filibuster: ...what?

Jagando slaps a sticky note on the clock that says "ELIMINATION".

Naala: If we want to learn the procedure, it would be a good idea to watch it.

Cat God (megaphone): MONEKO FAN CLUB, GET OVER HERE! ELIMINATION!

The Moneko Fan Club goes over to Cat God. Peacekeepers, Yes? does as well.

Cat God: Alright, one, two, three... why are you here?

Valkyrie: To watch the elimination?

Cat God: Uh... okay. Do you want to invite the other team too or something?

Filibuster: NOOO no no no that's not necessary.

Dogumaru: Yeah, they know how it goes already! Let's not.

Cat God: ...okay.

Eraser Cat: What are you DOING?! THEY'RE not featured at this elimination! Talk to US!

Cat God: Right. Anyways, we got five votes this time! Same as ever.

Mohawk Cat: I like the number 5!

Cat God: Well, you might not like your number of votes.

Mohawk Cat: Is that a threat?

Cat God: ...safe with 0 votes is Eraser Cat.

Eraser Cat: As expected!

Cat God: 0 votes for Mina as well.

Mina: I wonder if I can get a 0 vote season win...

Musashi: I wouldn't be too confident. We're still very early into the season.

Mina: Let a girl dream!

Cat God: The last 0-voter is Mecha-Bun.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): The toss was worth it!

Mecha-Bun (mech): Who else got zero votes?

Cat God: No one! The rest of you have at least one hater out there somewhere. Mohawk Cat!

Mohawk Cat: I'm safe! Woo!

Cat God: You're eliminated with 5 votes.

Naala: Oh no...

Mohawk Cat: What?! No!

Cat God: Just kidding! You're actually safe with 1.

Valkyrie: Not funny! What the hell?

Cat God: Very funny. The vote reason just reads... "mohawk".

Mohawk Cat: YOU AGAIN?!

Cat God: I love recurring vote reasons!

Moneko: You'd better be careful! Your chances aren't gonna be too good if you always get at least one vote.

Cat God: YOU'd better be careful... if you survive! You and Musashi are in the bottom two.

Moneko: Oh no.

Cat God: Let's read some vote reasons! Moneko... this voter says "this is going to be a real loser bfb moment. also DARK CAT IS NOT REAL HE CAN NOT HARM YOU".

Moneko: What's a BFB? Who's a loser?

Eraser Cat: Dark Cat is real and he is a FOOL! He woke up TOO LATE the day the competition began and MISSED OUT!

Bahamut: Dark Cat really is something... I hear he still wants in.

Cat God: Musashi, one voter said "somehow it felt like every other member got much more screen time but mushashi was just kinda there".

Musashi: That's not how you spell my name.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): But to be fair, you didn't get to do that much in the challenge.

Mecha-Bun (mech): I thought he did his fair share...

Cat God: Two votes left and one of you will be going away!

Cat God looks over the votes, which are note cards in his hands.

Cat God: ...alright, this is a little awkward. You both got two votes.

Moneko: A tie?!

Cat God: Musashi, the signature writer from last time voted for you! They said "I have no idea on Battle Cats characters. Musashi looks the least cat-like, so I'm going with him. No hard feelings. - Certaminis".

Musashi: No hard feelings here. I'm not sure how to improve that, though?

Cat God: And Moneko, you got the honorary long vote. It says that Mecha-Bun's pilot toss was a good move, Mohawk and Eraser Cat have had it tough, Mina almost won the challenge, and Musashi's strength and wit can help out more. You're last by process of elimination.

Moneko: Kind of flunked that leadership goal. If I survive, will this challenge be better for showing that?

Cat God: No spoilers. Since the two of you are tied, we're going to have to choose somehow. Heads or tails?

Moneko and Musashi: Heads!

Cat God: Moneko gets tails.

Moneko: Why?

Cat God: That one voter said Musashi looked less cat-like, and cats have tails.

Moneko: Okay...?

Cat God flips a coin. After a few seconds, it hits the ground, and lands on...

Tails.

Cat God: And Moneko narrowly gets to compete for another day. Musashi is eliminated.

Musashi: Eh, it's alright.

Musashi's Cat ghost appears above him.

Musashi (ghost): YOU WHAT?!

Musashi: Not now...

Musashi (ghost): YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO WIN, DANG IT! I AM ALWAYS HUNGRY! I NEEDED THAT PRIZE!

Musashi's Cat ghost continues yelling at him. Cat God quietly throws down the orange portal to the hotel.

Musashi: I'll see you all later!

Li'l Nyandam: OH MY GOSH, IT'S REALLY HIM! I GET TO BE ALONE WITH A CELEBRITY IN A GIANT HOTEL!

Yulala: Don't act like I'm not here!

Li'l Nyandam: Yeah, whatever! Get in here!

Musashi enters the portal. Cat God closes it.

Cat God: Alright, this time I've already got the challenge set up! I'll give the other team some time to get over, and then we'll start.

* * *

Cat God: Teamwork is essential to advance further in the competition! You need to learn camaraderie, or else you'll be at a serious disadvantage.

Uril: I see! We'll need to get help from others for this challenge, I presume?

Cat God: Nope. This challenge will be done individually.

Hermit casts a smug look at Uril. Uril tries not to respond.

Cat God: Allow me to demonstrate for you.

Cat God pulls out a large sheet of paper. There's a drawing on it.

Cat God: You three teams will have each of your members in their own box, like this! Inside the boxes is a challenge for you to complete to leave. The last team to get all members out loses!

Valkyrie: Pff- did you draw this?

Cat God: I did! Do you like it?

Valkyrie: No.

Cat God pouts for a few seconds, then returns to normal.

Cat God: Also, we don't even need to use disadvantage tools this time. Having more members is actually a hindrance here! Get in your color-coded boxes!

Ururun: Is this my box?

Ururun is pointing to a pink box. The name "Moneko" is on it.

Moneko: The colors are like last challenge. Your team's the green ones.

Ururun: But how do I know which is mine?

Moneko points to her own name on the box.

Ururun: Ohhh...

Everyone gets into their respective boxes.

Cat God: The challenge ends when only one team still has members in boxes! Go!

* * *

Doron: What is this...

Inside Doron's box, there is a microphone on a stand. The only other things in the room are a locked exit, a speaker, and a screen on the wall showing which contestants are still competing.

Doron (into the microphone): ...hello?

??? (by speaker): For this challenge, you will need to give a speech about a topic of your choice. Once you are finished, the door will unlock.

Doron: ...are you serious. I can't give a speech. I just cannot.

Doron: I've been trying to stay out of sight the whole time so far, and it has worked; until you wanted me to do the one thing I hate for my team.

Doron: I mean... I don't like how things are going with my team right now. It feels like they're splitting apart and I wanted to be ignored so I could stay in peace, but now it feels like I'm being ignored because they want their own goals first.

Doron: You don't need to know any of this, and I didn't want you to know... I don't trust you and I think you're kinda creepy, Cat God... but even though my team can suck, and YOU suck, I need to get this out somehow...

Doron: Because I still respect my team, I think they're alright people... but I see things are starting to fall apart and I don't know if I want to help out or just keep being left alone...

??? (by speaker): Excellent speech! The door will now open. By the way, this message is prerecorded. I didn't get any of that.

Doron's door opens.

Doron: ...I really hate you, Cat God.

Cat God: Hey, first challenge finisher! Also, what did I even do?!

* * *

Inside of Idi's box, the panel on the side dings. It shows that Doron has completed the challenge.

Idi's challenge is to burst through the door.

Idi (thinking): Useless challenge. Designer hardly had surface level knowledge of myself...

Idi bursts through the door.

Cat God: Nice! I just realized this might take a while, so it's time to use the montage button.

Eraser Cat: What is the MONTAGE BUTTON?

Cat God: It's the- how did you get out so fast?!

Eraser Cat: You gave me a RAGDOLL and told me to be VIOLENT! I commend your GOOD CHALLENGE CHOICE!

Cat God: Thanks? Also, the montage button triggers a montage to make things go by faster. Like this!

Cat God presses the montage button and a montage begins of people completing their respective challenges.

Moneko clears her singing challenge by playing a recording of one of her songs on her phone.

Ururun can't figure out what her challenge is, and punches the walls of the box to reveal hers was made of cardboard.

Urs is taking a quiz, but is disturbed by knocking outside their box. Once they leave, they see Ururun tried to break them out, not realizing everyone else's box is metal.

Jagando exits his box proudly. Moneko looks inside and sees his challenge was a puzzle with two pieces.

Dogumaru struggles repeatedly on a test about basic trivia, and finishes by guessing after restarting several times.

Mina fires her bazooka at several targets, landing each shot. She leaves the box triumphantly.

Hermit's challenge requires him to drink normal, yellow lemonade as opposed to pink. He waits for several minutes before caving and drinking it.

Naala exits her box without saying anything. She looks agitated.

Cat God: What a great montage! It looks like there's two left on Guild of Masks, two left on Moneko Fan Club, and three left on Peacekeepers, Yes?

Mohawk Cat leaves his box.

Mohawk Cat: It's only one left on the MFC now!

Cat God: Cool! What was your challenge?

Mohawk Cat: Didn't you design this stuff?

Cat God: Sort of? I know yours had some tools in it or something...

Eraser Cat: Seems SUSPICIOUS!

Cat God: Can a guy not forget stuff around here?!

* * *

Valkyrie: CAT GOD! WHAT AM I EVEN SUPPOSED TO DO?!

Valkyrie's box just has the screen, which shows everyone who has finished, the door, a sign saying "Wait for it.", and a table with two chairs. The inside of the box is quite large.

Cat God opens the door and sits down.

Cat God: I've spent enough time judging. Now, let's sit down.

Valkyrie: ...what.

Cat God places a candle down on the table.

Valkyrie: NO! No! Absolutely not!

Cat God: Come on!

Valkyrie storms out of the box.

Cat God: Oh... I shouldn't have left the door open.

Valkyrie shuts the door with Cat God inside.

* * *

Mecha-Bun (mech): Are you sure you want to do it again?

Mecha-Bun (pilot): I see a target, and a sign that says 'figure it out'. I figured it out!

Mecha-Bun throws their pilot directly at the target, and the door opens.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Worth it!

The two exit the box.

Mecha-Bun (mech): Hey, where's Cat God?

Valkyrie: Doesn't matter. Moneko Fan Club's safe.

Mina: Didn't expect you two to be the last ones out.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Well, we're first safe! Our losing streak is over.

* * *

Uril's box has a payphone and instructions to call someone he finds bothersome.

Uril: Answer already, I've spent a few dollars re-ringing this stupid phone...

Elsewhere...

Yulala: Is this phone for us?

Musashi: I don't know. Maybe Cat God's calling.

Li'l Nyandam: Nuh uh. He shows up himself for important stuff.

Yulala: Whatever! I'm answering.

Yulala picks up the phone.

Yulala: Who's this, yeah?

Uril (over the phone): Hey, Yulala...

Yulala: You sound really tired and annoyed!

Uril (over the phone): Good to hear from you too.

Yulala: Oh man, you would not believe the stuff that goes on in this hotel! To start, Musashi LITERALLY-

Uril hangs up immediately, and his door opens.

Uril: I think prolonged exposure to that man causes disease...

* * *

Filibuster's room has various elements that appeared in other people's challenges. These include various papers, puzzles, a microphone, a telephone, targets, and more. His room has a sign that says "Prove yourself!".

Filibuster: Prove yourself, prove yourself... what haven't I done in here?!

Filibuster: I've done practically everything in here! What more do I have to prove?!

Filibuster starts redoing the challenges.

He takes a quiz.

He shoots a target.

He beats up a ragdoll.

The side panel dings to indicate Uril finished his challenge.

Filibuster: I'm going to lose for my team?! Just because I can't 'prove myself'?!

Filibuster tries to storm off by opening the box's door, and...

it opens. It had been unlocked.

Filibuster: ...

Filibuster stares into space for a few moments. Jagando claps for him.

Filibuster: I get it... I didn't really have to prove anything. I just have to keep moving on! Yeah!

Valkyrie: Nice job! It's the final two between Bahamut and Luza.

Filibuster: Why are you announcing stuff like that?

Valkyrie: I think I took over hosting for a bit.

Filibuster: Sweet.

* * *

Back at the beginning of the challenge, Bahamut's box has a book and instructions to 'follow through'.

Bahamut: Seems simple enough.

Bahamut begins reading. The book contains a very detailed plan. It involves portals and features strange green and blue symbols.

Bahamut: ...I'm supposed to follow through with this?

Bahamut continues reading.

* * *

Ururun is frantically attacking Luza's box.

Ururun: I'M GONNA WIN IT BY BREAKING YOU OUT! TEAM, HELP ME OUT!

Urs: Shouldn't we stop her?

Uril: It's a little funny.

Luza exits his box.

Doron: ...wait, so...

Valkyrie: Your team's the last one safe.

Ururun: YEAH!

Hermit: Lot of good that teaming strategy did for us, huh?

Uril: No one anticipated an individual challenge. Don't blame me.

Urs: What was your challenge, Luza?

Luza points inside his box. There are hundreds of buttons across the walls, floor, and ceiling.

Urs: I see you picked the right one! Great job.

Valkyrie unlocks Bahamut's box.

Valkyrie: The challenge is over. You can get out now.

There is no response from inside the box.

Valkyrie: ...hello?

A few other team members walk over to the box, and Naala opens the door.

Bahamut is sitting in one corner of the room, staring at nothing. The book is torn apart and thrown on the opposite corner of the room.

Filibuster: What the...?

Idi (by telepathy): Situation is highly unusual...

Vote to eliminate one contestant from Peacekeepers, Yes? using this form: https://forms.gle/zpePJgryTRhjuoEB9

The contestant with the most votes will be eliminated! Voting ends at the end of July 4th, 2023.

Bahamut has finally left the box. He still is mostly unresponsive to people talking to him.

Naala: ...do you want to talk about it in private?

Bahamut: ...yeah.

* * *

Cat God is still in Valkyrie's box. He pulls out his miniature green portal and starts writing down notes to send into it again.

Cat God (on a note): Challenge was a disaster. What did you even ask them to do?!

Cat God throws the note in the green portal. A few seconds later, another note pops out of it.

???: I built things based on what you told me about them. I was only very specific about the one YOU want, and the one I want. Also, you assembled the things. I just gave you materials, plans, and signs.

Cat God (on a note): Alright, should've read the signs, and inspected whatever you made for most people. Fine. But don't plan this poorly anymore!

Cat God passes the note in again. The green portal spits out another one much more quickly.

???: Do you have anything more important to tell me? I'm busy.

Cat God is taken aback by this. He sits silently for a while before writing another note and throwing it in.

Cat God (on a note): You're a terrible wingman.

Moneko Fan Club: Moneko, Mohawk Cat, Eraser Cat, Li’l Nyandam, Mina, Musashi, Mecha-Bun

Guild of Masks: Ururun, Urs, Doron, Hermit, Yulala, Uril, Luza

Peacekeepers, Yes?: Bahamut, Idi, Jagando, Naala, Filibuster, Valkyrie, Dogumaru

Chapter Text

Filibuster, Dogumaru, Uril, Urs, and Ururun have all gathered to discuss their cross-team alliance.

Urs: Is this really going to work out?

Uril: I see no reason for concern.

Filibuster: I think I see the issue. How are we going to survive individual challenges like last one?

Uril: You shouldn't worry about that. Last challenge was individual, and if I recall correctly, we all finished with relative ease.

Dogumaru grumbles at this.

Ururun: But what if the voters don't like this stuff? We could get kicked out for cheating!

Uril: A little cooperation won't sour opinions! It's easy to worry, but it's better to see we have nothing to worry about.

Urs: My main concern is our own teams. If we aren't all on board with this, we're going to see some friction.

Uril: Hermit can complain all he wants while we continue our winning streak.

Urs: I didn't even mention Hermit. Besides him, don't you feel Doron and Luza are being excluded from decision-making here?

Ururun: Yeah! Wait, where did Filibuster and Dogumaru go?

The two have left.

* * *

Cat God: Wow, you all got here quick. Excited for elimination?

Most members of Peacekeepers, Yes? stare at Cat God without saying anything. Bahamut is staring away absentmindedly.

Cat God: I'm going to guess that's a no.

Valkyrie: Last time was a disaster. Just get it over with.

Cat God: Alright, alright! We've got 3 votes this time. Our first decrease!

Dogumaru: ...why are you excited about it?

Cat God: I'm not really excited, but what can you do. Anyways, here are the contestants with no votes to their names...

Filibuster: Am I one?

Cat God: You are! Next safe is Idi.

Idi does not react to this.

Cat God: And Naala.

Naala: That's... good.

Cat God: Our last zero vote victor is Bahamut!

Bahamut also does not react to this.

Cat God: Was it really that bad last time?! Well, if you've been paying attention, you'll know there's three not safe and three votes left.

Dogumaru: Another tie...

Cat God: A three-way one too, between Valkyrie, Dogumaru, and Jagando. Let's see your reasons!

Cat God: Valkyrie's voter said... hold on. MINA, GET OVER HERE!

Mina runs over.

Cat God: Read this reason.

Mina: Hmm... yeah, I can do that! BLOCK THIS OVERHEAD!

Mina attempts to kick Valkyrie in the head. She successfully blocks the overhead.

Valkyrie: Why?!

Mina shows Valkyrie the vote reason. It says "block this overhead 💥🔨".

Valkyrie: I hate you, but fair.

Cat God: You can go now. The voter also suggested multi-line vote reasons for ASCII art next time. I have to practice pronouncing those, they're pretty hard to say out loud!

Cat God: Next vote, Jagando. It says "JaJaJugie On Dat Beat if y’know what I mean :sunglas:".

Jagando makes a confused noise.

Cat God: I don't know what they mean either. Next vote, I guess.

Dogumaru: I need to know why I got voted!

Cat God: Your vote's the long one. They say Bahamut's challenge was hardest, Jagando is two, and though voting Valkyrie would be funny, they decided not to. You got voted because you failed at basic trivia.

Dogumaru: Can you remember the world's biggest ocean off the top of your head? It's harder than you think!

Cat God: Ooh, the rest of the vote reason is suggestions for me! Let's see... I have that one planned already... that one needs some setup but alright... I think this last one's a good one! Very nice.

Naala: Is the tiebreaker going to be decided like last time?

Cat God: We're gonna try something a little different.

Cat God pulls out a die.

Cat God: You three get two numbers. If this die lands on one of your numbers, you're out. Valkyrie gets 1 and 2, Dogumaru gets 3 and 4, and Jagando gets 5 and 6.

Dogumaru: I don't like those odds.

Filibuster: Come on, man! You gotta be safe!

Naala: No matter who leaves, I'll miss you!

Idi (by telepathy): Valkyrie's continued presence is most ideal.

Bahamut glances at the three with votes before looking away.

Cat God throws the die, and it lands on...

6.

Cat God: Jagando is eliminated. You haven't said much the whole time. Got anything to say now?

Jagando (by telepathy): I don't care.

Cat God: What?! Why not?

Jagando (by telepathy): I'll just ask the winner to give me the prize later!

Cat God just stares in confusion as he throws down the orange portal to the hotel.

Jagando (by telepathy): See ya!

Jagando waves a peace sign before entering the portal. Cat God closes it.

Cat God: ...huh. So that's 17 of you left! Feels like just yesterday there were 18.

There is no reaction to this, save for someone coughing.

Cat God: Alright, we need to lighten the mood around here.

* * *

Cat God: Alright, simple challenge this time around! Behind me, I have a massive pile of stuff.

Cat God is standing in front of a pile of assorted items.

Cat God: You teams have to make the best offering for me.

Mohawk Cat: ...that's it?

Cat God: Yeah, pretty much. Simple's the goal since last time was too much.

Eraser Cat: Last time was GREAT for ME!

Cat God: Begin!

* * *

Moneko: Alright, superfans! I'll be the leader for this challenge.

Mohawk Cat: Sounds good to me.

Moneko: First, we have to analyze what's in the pile so we know what we can make. There appears to be-

Mina runs at the pile and begins throwing things towards her team seemingly at random.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Watch where you're throwing!

Mina: Never!

Mina lifts up a large boulder and throws it at her team, directly hitting Eraser Cat. Eraser Cat does not flinch.

Eraser Cat: A stroke of GENIUS! This BOULDER is PERFECT!

Moneko: Wait, I think you're right!

Eraser Cat: NOBODY can turn down something so WONDROUS!

Moneko: We can carve up this boulder into something suitable!

Mina: I'll help break it!

Eraser Cat: No, you BUFFOON! The OFFERING should be the BOULDER in its NATURAL BEAUTY!

Moneko: How about we come up with something like its natural form?

Eraser Cat: ...good enough!

Moneko: Alright, so boulders are... round. What's something I can work with?

Moneko looks at Mohawk Cat.

Moneko: I've got it.

* * *

Doron: Do you know what they're all talking about?

Luza shrugs. The two of them are sat away from the rest of their team, who appear to be arguing. Ururun and Urs walk towards the two.

Ururun: I'm going to hang out!

Urs: It's a little more serious than that!

Ururun: Okay, yeah...

Urs: We noticed you two were kind of... left out of deciding in this whole cross-teaming situation. We wanted to make it up to you.

Ururun: We're gonna become besties!

The four start conversing with each other.

Uril: Great going, Hermit!

Hermit: Your sarcasm is very apparent.

Uril: Thanks to all your objections to my strategy, four of our six members are off not doing the challenge.

Hermit: Let them. You know how we've been treating them.

Uril: Are you going to at least cooperate with me to not lose?

Hermit: I don't intend on it. Here.

Hermit hands Uril a small piece of wood and various tools.

Uril: What are you planning?

Hermit: Something small and elaborate. Other teams may go for size, but it's important to recognize value regardless of that.

Uril: You think Cat God of all people believes that?

Hermit: We could carve something he likes, then. Perhaps his face.

Uril: Fine. Let me get Filibuster's-

Hermit: You are doing this with me, and me only. You are not getting their help.

Uril: ...fine.

* * *

Naala: There are thousands of opportunities to be had here, team. We could construct a wonderful diorama, with themes of nature, peace, and-

Valkyrie: This is an offering for Cat God.

Naala: Eccentric as he may be, he can surely appreciate something nice.

Idi (by telepathy): Competitors have already begun crafting ego projects. Uniqueness could help.

Dogumaru: I'll tell you what will make this unique. Let's make something secretly insulting towards him.

Valkyrie: Continue...

Dogumaru: We'll make something he likes, sure. But it'll have some backhanded meaning to us. Shows how much of an idiot he is.

Filibuster: Backhanded... how?

Dogumaru: We make it incredibly dumb, like a pile of dirt or something.

Valkyrie: Fine by me. He shouldn't get any more effort than that.

Naala: Isn't that inconsiderate?

Filibuster: Well... it's pretty common consensus that we don't like the guy at this point.

Naala: ...true. After what Bahamut told me-

Bahamut: Stop.

Naala: ...well, I especially dislike Cat God. Let's just... stack dirt.

* * *

Mecha-Bun (pilot): It's a masterpiece.

Moneko Fan Club is looking at the stone statue they carved from the boulder.

Mohawk Cat: Truer words have never been said.

Moneko: It turned out amazing.

The team's statue is that of a Cat.

Eraser Cat: True WARRIORS never cry... but the BEAUTY is too much...

Ururun: So true!

Ururun, Urs, Luza, and Doron have all gravitated towards the statue.

Mecha-Bun (mech): You four aren't supposed to be here.

Urs: We were just admiring your work.

Doron: It's pretty good...

Ururun: I have to touch it.

Ururun runs at the statue and touches it. It loses balance, and since it is round, it begins to roll away.

Ururun: Oops.

Moneko Fan Club: NOOOOOO!

Cat God: Hey people, it's time to judge!

Moneko Fan Club: NOOOOOO!

Cat God: Wow, rude. You're up first, what have you made?

Moneko: Well, what we've made has just-

Mina runs in, having taken Peacekeepers, Yes?'s pile of dirt.

Mina: ...been presented to you! Behold!

Cat God: That is a pile of dirt.

Eraser Cat: ...NAY! It is a SPLENDID collection of the FINEST ESSENCE of the EARTH!

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Correct! It is a candid, clear representation of natural beauty.

Cat God: Alright, I hear you... it's very charming! 9 out of 10. Peacekeepers, you all are next.

Dogumaru: Alright! We have- where did it go.

Mina sports her signature slasher smile and looks at Dogumaru.

Dogumaru: You-!

Cat God: Ah, I see what you've done.

Valkyrie: What.

Cat God: How did you guys know? Submitting Valkyrie as the offering was real creative! 10 out of 10.

Valkyrie: WHAT?!

Cat God: Later today, you and I are gonna-

Valkyrie: How many times am I going to have to hammer it into your head that I hate you?! I am never going to get with you, I am never going to voluntarily be near you, and I will never have a higher opinion of you than disgusting.

Cat God: Well-

Bahamut: ...stop talking.

Cat God: ...yeah. I see. Your rating is still 10 out of 10. Next team.

Hermit: This artifact was carefully crafted for you. It's taken much labor.

Uril (mumbling): Much unnecessary labor...

Cat God: A wooden pendant... and it's got my face on it!

Cat God puts on the pendant.

Cat God: This is very nice. I think I'll keep it. 8 out of 10!

Uril: Wh- 8?! Why?!

Cat God: What? 8's great.

Urs runs over.

Urs: What's our rating?

Uril: We lost.

Urs: What?!

Cat God: Wait, you really did lose. I guess the other two were nicer. Good effort, though!

Luza crosses his arms. Doron just stares in disbelief.

Cat God: Vote for- wait, there's something to be done first.

Ururun: What else are we doing?

Cat God: I'm sure you're all cozy on your teams, but every good show needs a good shakeup! You three teams will all be transferring members.

Cat God: Guild of Masks gets to take someone from Moneko Fan Club, who take one from Peacekeepers, Yes?, who take one from Guild of Masks! Decide amongst yourselves and tell me when you're done.

* * *

Urs: Out of Moneko Fan Club, we need to pick the person who will synergize with us the most.

Hermit: In that case, I suggest we rule out Eraser and Mohawk Cat. Those two stick together all the time.

Doron: I don't think Mina would like us either...

Uril: She is a challenge powerhouse though. Don't rule her out just yet.

Luza points to Mecha-Bun.

Hermit: I think he's our safest option. Good pick.

Urs: Alright, we're decided.

* * *

Moneko: Alright, the best one has got to be Bahamut! His raw strength is unmatched, I've heard.

Mina: We're taking Naala.

Mohawk Cat: Why?

Mina: Let's think about this strategically. Idi is a powerhouse, but can't communicate without Naala's telepathy. We take her out of the team, we ruin their team synergy.

Mecha-Bun (mech): Naala's skill isn't too shabby either.

Eraser Cat: I OBJECT! Thinking is for COWARDS! RAW POWER is the answer. I agree with MONEKO!

Moneko: Well, I see Mina's point. But isn't it rude to take away someone's ability to speak?

Mina: The game matters more. That mindset is one that comes with a pre-merge elimination.

Mohawk Cat: What's the merge?

Mina: Wow, you have a lot to learn about these types of shows.

* * *

Dogumaru: I've been... observing Guild of Masks lately. One thing I know is that Uril is having some friction with the rest of them.

Filibuster: Alright, so we shouldn't pick someone who brings that to us.

Valkyrie: I second that.

Dogumaru: What? No. I mean he won't have any reason to prefer his old teammates over us.

Idi (by telepathy): Uril would still have plentiful reason. For one, his teammates are his family.

Filibuster: Well... sure. Besides, y'know...

Dogumaru and Filibuster glare at each other for a bit.

Naala: Well, I'm on board with this option if it causes the least conflict.

Valkyrie: Bahamut?

Bahamut: ...yeah.

* * *

Cat God: The time has come! Tell me your picks, starting with Guild of Masks.

Doron: We're taking-

Ururun: Moneko!

Cat God: Moneko it is!

Urs: Wait, what?!

Moneko: Wait, what?!

Cat God: So you're moving onto Guild of Masks, which also means you're up for elimination too! Who have you picked, Nobody Fan Club?

Mina: Naala.

Naala: Oh... I'll miss you, team!

Mina fist-bumps her teammates.

Cat God: And the Peacekeepers are last. Who are you all going for?

Dogumaru: We're picking Uril.

Uril: Very good choice.

Cat God: And with that, the new teams are set! Uril manages to escape elimination today.

Vote to eliminate one contestant from Guild of Masks using this form: https://forms.gle/PRjMCFDcudTNfHmE9

The contestant with the most votes will be eliminated! Voting ends at the end of July 16th, 2023.

Cat God is scribbling notes and sending them into his miniature green portal again.

Cat God (on a note): I didn't need your help for this challenge. I can do just fine without you.

Cat God puts the note into the portal and quickly gets one back.

???: So?

Cat God hastily writes another one.

Cat God (on a note): So I can do fine without weirdness like last time.

Cat God puts this note in. The next response takes a few seconds.

???: I want some role in your season. That's why I made the challenges the way they were last time. Don't make me lose interest, because I know you rely on my help somewhat.

Cat God (mumbling): You want a role? I'll give you a role...

Cat God studies the green portal for a while. He goes to the pile of stuff left over from the challenge.

Cat God (mumbling): We'll see how you like this...

Cat God begins to build.

Moneko Fan Club: Naala, Mohawk Cat, Eraser Cat, Li’l Nyandam, Mina, Musashi, Mecha-Bun

Guild of Masks: Ururun, Urs, Doron, Hermit, Yulala, Moneko, Luza

Peacekeepers, Yes?: Bahamut, Idi, Jagando, Uril, Filibuster, Valkyrie, Dogumaru

Chapter Text

The eliminated contestants, excluding Li'l Nyandam, are sat down in the elimination hotel lobby.

Musashi: I wonder why they only let us watch the eliminations.

Yulala: That's what I'm saying! I got to see one whole challenge before getting booted, and I've no idea what's happened the last two times because he won't tell me squat!

Jagando rolls his eyes at Yulala while eating a large bowl of cereal.

Musashi: I don't think he can talk without telepathy.

Something shatters loudly behind the group. Li'l Nyandam yells a word he probably shouldn't know at his age.

Yulala: HEY! What do you think you're doing?!

Li'l Nyandam: I wanted waffles for breakfast!

Musashi: Waffles don't shatter.

Li'l Nyandam: I wanted a lot of waffles.

Musashi walks over to the kitchen and sees a pile of waffles, syrup, and porcelain shards on the floor.

Li'l Nyandam: And I tripped and fell.

Yulala: You little-

Musashi: Relax. We all make mistakes sometimes.

Musashi starts cleaning up the floor pile.

Musashi: It's important to learn from them, though. Portion well and be careful with fragile things, okay?

Li'l Nyandam: ...alright. I'm gonna get another plate.

Yulala: You're right, I should give the kid a break. But I'm gonna need to know who told you that word!

Li'l Nyandam: Oh, that's easy. Mina says it under her breath a lot when things don't go her way.

Jagando motions for everyone to return to the lobby.

Yulala: Eh?

Jagando points to the lobby TV. An elimination is about to begin.

Yulala: Wait, that's- NO! MY TEAM LOST?!

* * *

Cat God: You all had an unfortunate loss in the very first challenge, and your winning streak since then is now broken! One of you is leaving, Guild of Masks!

Hermit: I believe we all know that.

Cat God: Alright, I'll get into numbers. 4 votes this time! As usual, I'll list off the lucky contestants with no votes to their names!

Ururun: Am I one?

Cat God: You are!

Ururun: Yes! I knew it!

Cat God: Also safe with 0 votes are Doron and Moneko.

Moneko: I guess leadership worked! Even if it was for another team last episode...

Cat God: Urs, Hermit, and Luza, voters had something to say about you three. Two of you received one, and one of you received two.

Cat God: Urs got a vote from the signed voter. It says... "I still have no clue on Battle Cats, so I picked the least cat-like contestant again. No hard feelings. - Certaminis".

Urs: I don't like that. I think someone told me that voter got Musashi eliminated. No hard feelings, though.

Cat God: A Hermit voter says "everyone else is a..." I don't know if I can say that. Well, they're "voting to get rid of this nerd."

Hermit: Wonderful...

Cat God: And Luza! Your response is one of eloquence unparalleled. Listen to this...

"at last, my wish has been granted; the ability to express the full sentiment of my reasoning, uncaged at last
but with freedom comes options; oh so many options! but alas, our time is finite. so i ask of you one mere question:

cold luza beat
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Ururun (horrified): Wh-you- how did you say that out loud?!

Moneko: I think that's Goku.

Ururun: It is!

Cat God: Here's the last vote, from our long voter. Once again, I'll paraphrase. There's a small apology to Hermit for voting you in the first episode, criticizing your cooperation ability but now respecting the decision to win the game by your own power.

Hermit: I appreciate it greatly. I assume this means the vote isn't for me.

Cat God: The voter didn't like the double teaming of- wait, what? They were going to vote for Uril, but due to being the next most involved in the... you all CROSSTEAMED?!

Urs: We admit it. Uril started a whole alliance with some members of the Peacekeepers.

Cat God: No, no, absolutely NOT! No elimination, no ceremony, no nothing! Get out of my sight! You're all disqualified!

Ururun: Nuh uh.

Cat God: Wh-?!

Ururun: You never told us it was against the rules.

Urs: Still, it was wrong.

Doron: But we don't need to be kicked out, especially when some of us had nothing to do with it...

Moneko: I think I missed some big drama before getting moved to this team.

Cat God glares at Urs.

Cat God: The last vote was for you.

Cat God throws down the orange portal to the elimination hotel.

Urs: Well... it's been fun. I think I still owe Luza and Doron an apology for this whole... situation.

Doron: No, you're alright... let's leave it in the past.

Luza gives a thumbs-up.

Urs: Thanks. I'll try my best to get back if there's some kind of rejoin. I'll miss you all.

Urs walks through the portal and Cat God closes it.

Cat God: Would you believe there have been 5 eliminations and not a single girl has been eliminated?

Moneko: Is Urs not a girl?

Cat God: No, they were nonbinary. The first four boots were all boys, too.

Ururun: Us girls are on a winning streak, I guess.

* * *

Cat God: So late last night, I got to building today's challenge... until I realized it was a lot more work than I thought.

Eraser Cat: NO CHALLENGE?! FOR SHAME!

Cat God: I was going to say that I had another one prepared.

Eraser Cat: Oh.

Cat God: Today's challenge, suggested by the long voter, is a relay race! Behind me is the start of the race, in the flat grasslands. There are six sections in total, and what you teams have to do is assign a team member to each area.

Mecha-Bun (mech): Our team only has five members.

Hermit: Ours as well.

Cat God: If you recall, teams with less members get an advantage. Your advantage is that you don't have to do the last section!

Mohawk Cat: Nice. What sections do we have?

Cat God: Secret. Decide your order and you'll figure the rest out when it starts!

Mina: Mohawk, Eraser, Naala, Mecha-Bun, and myself.

Cat God: Wow, okay. That was quick.

Naala: Any particular... reason for that order?

Mina: I ordered us by power.

Eraser Cat: I shall SMITE YOU after the CHALLENGE! How DARE you call me WEAK!

Moneko: How about I go first, then Ururun?

Ururun: I wanted to be after Urs, though!

Moneko: Urs just got eliminated.

Ururun: I know! But I wanted to. We were cat-beast riding buddies! We were gonna go all the way together!

Moneko: Well, I'd still like to go with you.

Ururun: Wait... are you trying to become my bestie?!

Moneko: Uh, I-

Ururun: YES! I knew we'd be best besties when I wanted you for the team! We can go all the way together too!

Hermit: Seems like you two are getting along. I'll go third.

Doron: I'll go last, then... Luza before me.

Idi goes straight to the starting line and stares back at her team.

Valkyrie: She's going first, so I'll go next. Third should be...?

Uril: Filibuster and Dogumaru, I suggest we all go after each other.

Filibuster: Bahamut is last?

Dogumaru: I don't know how well that'll work out.

Filibuster: Let's put Bahamut after Valkyrie, then myself, Dogumaru, and Uril.

Uril: That wasn't the intention, I need to be between you two for-

Cat God: You are on thin ice. I heard about your whole cross-team fiasco.

Valkyrie: Your what?

Dogumaru: Probably not important! It's time to start anyways, right?

Cat God: That it is!

Cat God throws down a variety of multicolored portals in front of each contestant.

Cat God: Get in your places!

Cat God holds up a giant piece of paper. It shows the 3 team's members in the order they will compete in.

Section 1: Mohawk Cat, Moneko, Idi

Section 2: Eraser Cat, Ururun, Valkyrie

Section 3: Naala, Hermit, Bahamut

Section 4: Mecha-Bun, Luza, Filibuster

Section 5: Mina, Doron, Dogumaru

Section 6: Uril

Cat God: GO!

* * *

The first area of the relay race is a flat grasslands. The finish line is visible from the start. Idi charges straight ahead faster than the other two, who start running.

Mohawk Cat: Seems like we're gonna be here for a bit.

Moneko: Peacekeepers have a huge advantage in this part!

Mohawk Cat: How's your new team been?

Moneko: I think I joined right after some big drama!

Mohawk Cat: Better after than during.

Moneko: Anything different with your team?

Mohawk Cat: Other than you getting moved, not really. Naala hasn't wanted to talk to us the whole time.

Moneko: Why not?

Mohawk Cat: I think she knows it was a nasty move by Mina to take the person with telepathy away from the team with someone who needs telepathy.

Moneko: Fair.

Idi crosses the finish line, and Valkyrie starts up ahead.

Mohawk Cat: We better move faster!

Moneko: Trying my best here...

* * *

Valkyrie: Not that easy this time around...

The second part of the race is a climb up a tall mountain.

Mohawk Cat (from below): WE'RE CATCHING UP!

Valkyrie: Just have to ignore them.

Moneko and Mohawk Cat finish below at about the same time, where Ururun and Eraser Cat are waiting for them.

Eraser Cat and Mohawk Cat (from below): YEAH!

Ururun and Moneko (from below): YEAH!

The group begin chattering. Mohawk Cat mentions how Ururun threw him like a football in a previous challenge, and...

Eraser Cat crashes into Valkyrie.

Valkyrie: How on EARTH?!

Eraser Cat: HA! The FOOL enacted my MASTER PLAN! Later, IDIOT!

Eraser Cat starts scaling the mountain much faster than expected.

Ururun: On your left!

Ururun passes Valkyrie.

Valkyrie: What!

The three make their way to the top of the mountain. Eraser Cat beats the rest by a small margin, with Ururun and Valkyrie finishing at about the same time.

Eraser Cat: NEW TEAMMATE! It is VITAL that you GLIDE with GRACE!

The third section of the race is a glide down from the peak of the mountain. There is a large red circle to land on in the distance.

Naala: How?!

Cat God: With a glider, of course! Here's one for you.

Eraser Cat: AH! Since when were YOU here?!

Cat God attaches a glider to Naala.

Cat God: I literally have portals.

Valkyrie and Ururun reach the top as Naala starts gliding.

Valkyrie: It's a glide. You got this, Bahamut.

Bahamut: Yeah.

Bahamut takes off without a glider, as he can glide by himself.

Ururun: Hermit, you've gotta- whuh?

Hermit has already starting gliding.

Ururun: Wow, he's fast. So cool!

* * *

Bahamut catches up to Naala while gliding, then slows down.

Naala: Are you okay?

Bahamut: I'm fine.

Naala: ...I know that since the whole... 'follow through' thing, you've-

Bahamut: I said I'm fine. I need to focus right now.

Naala: Alright... you can still talk to me after, even if we're on different teams.

Bahamut: I appreciate it.

The two land on the red circle before the next section. In the next section, there is a wide river to cross.

Naala: Mecha-Bun, you've got this! Go!

Hermit lands and signals Luza to start moving. Luza shrugs at him.

Hermit: Why not?

Cat God: Because he needs this.

Cat God throws a motorboat onto the water.

Hermit: Fair.

Mecha-Bun and Filibuster already have a significant lead.

* * *

Filibuster glances over at Mecha-Bun, who is just ahead of him.

Filibuster: I wonder...

Filibuster speeds up and grabs Mecha-Bun's pilot.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): AH!

Mecha-Bun (mech): What are you doing?!

Filibuster: I gotta help my team out somehow!

Filibuster throws the pilot back to the start of the river section.

Mecha-Bun (mech): Great.

Mecha-Bun's mech flies back for the pilot. Luza passes them in his boat.

* * *

Mina: Why is he going back?!

Dogumaru: I can't see clearly from here.

Mina, Dogumaru, and Doron are waiting for their teammates to finish so they can start the fifth section, a coastal town.

Mina: Whole lotta waiting in this challenge. I've got an idea.

Mina aims her bazooka at Luza's boat as it approaches.

Mina: Watch me land this shot!

Doron slaps the bazooka out of her hand.

Doron: Are you crazy?

Mina: What's crazy about trying to win?

Dogumaru: You're kind of trying to kill someone.

Mina: Let me explain to you a simple concept. In a competition show, the losing team at the end of each challenge has a member up for elimination.

Dogumaru: We know how it works!

Mina: Elimination means you leave. I don't intend on leaving. Besides, people die all the time here. The Cats couldn't have taken over the Earth without some kind of cloning or revival or whatever.

Filibuster and Luza arrive at the shore of the town.

Dogumaru: Finally!

Filibuster: Did I take too long?

Dogumaru: No, you're fine. I just need to get away from someone...

Luza gives Doron a thumbs-up. Doron and Dogumaru run into the town to look for the end of the section.

Filibuster: Wonder why he needed to get away from Doron.

Luza facepalms as Mecha-Bun arrives.

Mina: What happened?

Mecha-Bun's pilot points at Filibuster.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): That guy decided to throw me back to the start! The audacity!

Mina: Pretty funny. I respect the strategy.

Filibuster: Thanks?

Mina jumps and shoots a rocket at her feet, rocket-jumping towards the end.

* * *

Doron: Need to find the finish...

Doron turns a corner and sees a black-and-white checkerboard cloth on the ground.

Doron: Wait, did I...!

Three small stickmen pop out of a store and run straight to Doron.

This Guy: Want to buy a premium checkerboard textile?

That Guy: It's National Checkerboard Day!

The Guy: It's at a bargain price!

Those Guys: Buy it now!

Doron: Oh... sorry, I'm not-

Those Guys: WAIT!

The Guy: Its quality is unmatched!

That Guy: It could inspire art!

Doron: ...it can?

This Guy: Yes! For just $2000!

Doron leaves and turns left. Dogumaru walks into the same street.

Those Guys: Hey, you! Buy this-

Dogumaru: Nope.

Dogumaru leaves, and turns right instead.

Cat God: Hey, you reached the end!

Dogumaru: Wait, really?

Cat God: Well, you did. Not your team, since Uril still has to do the last section.

Dogumaru: Oh.

Uril: About time I did something.

Cat God: The final section, right in the center of the town, is the top of that building.

Cat God points to a tall building next to him.

Cat God: You have to go inside! No climbing the walls!

Uril runs into the building.

Cat God: It was pretty clever of me to put the end this close to the textile shop, huh?

Dogumaru: Not really.

Cat God: I thought it was- OW!

Mina falls on top of Cat God after rocket jumping.

Mina: I win.

Cat God: Rude! But your team is safe. Either Uril reaches the top of the building or Doron gets here first.

* * *

Uril: You cannot be serious.

Yulala: Hey, check it out! Uril got eliminated!

Uril: I did not!

Urs: Wait, what? I thought eliminations went on the TV.

Li'l Nyandam: Where did he even come from?!

Musashi: The front door.

Li'l Nyandam: There's a FRONT DOOR?!

Uril: Do any of you know where the elevator is?

Musashi: There's no elevator here. If you want to go somewhere, you need to take the stairs.

Uril: Wonderful.

Uril finds the stairs to the next floor and climbs to the second floor.

...and the third.

...and the fourth.

...and the fifth. At this landing, there's a window.

Uril: Is that... no!

Uril sees that Doron is very close to the end of his section.

Uril: No, no...!

Uril climbs up the last flight and opens the door to the roof.

Uril: HA! I made it!

Cat God (from below): Doron made it here a bit earlier!

Uril: ...what.

Cat God (from below): Guild of Masks is safe! Peacekeepers, Yes? are up for voting!

Uril: Ah, heck. Losing to my old team as well.

Vote to eliminate one contestant from Peacekeepers, Yes? using this form: https://forms.gle/SnLxX7VNuNZMsM37A

The contestant with the most votes will be eliminated! Voting ends at the end of July 24th, 2023.

Moneko: Hey, Luza.

Luza turns around.

Moneko: A while ago, Li'l Nyandam mentioned something about teaching you sign language. Before he got eliminated, of course.

Luza nods.

Moneko: So I've got the basics on my phone!

Ururun: GASP! COLLUSION!

Ururun has been eavesdropping on the conversation.

Ururun: Wait... I know what's going on here!

Moneko: It's not anything bad-

Ururun: TRIPLE BESTIES! YES!

* * *

Cat God: Stupid cables...

Cat God is fumbling with electrical equipment and the structure he was building last chapter. It appears to be a large version of the miniature green portal.

Cat God hooks one up to an outlet outside the elimination hotel and the structure lights up the same way the small portal does.

Cat God: Yes! Finally.

Cat God looks at the portal proudly.

Cat God: You're gonna get what's coming to you...

Moneko Fan Club: Naala, Mohawk Cat, Eraser Cat, Li’l Nyandam, Mina, Musashi, Mecha-Bun

Guild of Masks: Ururun, Urs, Doron, Hermit, Yulala, Moneko, Luza

Peacekeepers, Yes?: Bahamut, Idi, Jagando, Uril, Filibuster, Valkyrie, Dogumaru

Chapter Text

Uril has started a team meeting in the coastal town from the last challenge.

Uril: I'm sure you're all wondering why I've called this team meeting.

Valkyrie: Predictions for elimination?

Uril: Precisely. We-

Filibuster: We don't need to hear it.

Uril stares at Filibuster for a bit.

Uril: Rude.

Filibuster: You're getting kicked out.

Uril: Really? How likely.

Filibuster: Think about it! You lost us the challenge last time.

Uril: We were at a disadvantage. If I recall, voters see potential besides that.

Filibuster: Wasn't your section the shortest?

Uril: Oh, like you had any struggle! All you had to do was glide over water for a few minutes!

Filibuster: I tried to contribute! I sabotaged the other team!

Valkyrie: Good point. I bet Naala would be mad at you if she were still here though.

Filibuster: Not to mention you started the whole cross-team-

Dogumaru: Wait, wait, wait, are you sure we need to go into this?!

Filibuster: I am done hiding this stuff, and I am done with Uril telling me what to do!

Filibuster and Uril start arguing loudly with each other, overlapping each other's speech.

Uril: I'll have you know that-

Filibuster: Maybe your old team didn't even-

Uril: -my strategy carried us, causing-

Filibuster: -want you, considering how-

Uril: -the Moneko Fan Club to lose twice in a row-

Filibuster: -much they argued with you-

The two continue arguing. Idi shoots Dogumaru a nasty look.

Dogumaru: What?!

Valkyrie: If I had to guess, she's asking the same question as I am.

Dogumaru: ...which is?

Valkyrie: How long were you gonna wait to explain the whole cross-team thing?

Dogumaru: I thought it was- you know- I...

Valkyrie: If you thought Uril was gonna be angry, it's alright. I can piece together that he asserted himself as some sort of authority. I'm not gonna hold any grudges against you for it.

Dogumaru: Thanks.

Cat God (from a distance): What is that racket? Shut up!

Uril and Filibuster stop arguing.

Cat God (from a distance): You all know what time it is! Get over here for elimination!

Idi floats over first. The rest of the team follows.

* * *

Cat God: Alright, we all know how it works. The viewers voted, so one of you leaves.

Valkyrie: I bet there's four votes again.

Cat God: There were 4 votes again! First off, three of you received zero votes.

Cat God: One of those three is Idi!

Idi puts on a somewhat smug expression.

Cat God: Then Filibuster...

Filibuster: I told you!

Uril tenses up a bit.

Cat God: ...and finally Bahamut.

Bahamut gets up and walks away.

Cat God: Hey, where are you going?

Valkyrie: Let him leave.

Cat God: But he- fine...

Cat God stands in place for a few seconds.

Valkyrie: Read us our votes.

Cat God: Right. Once again, two people received one vote, and one received two.

Cat God: A Valkyrie voter said... "woman".

Valkyrie: Surprisingly a better reason than some I've seen before. Not good though.

Cat God: This Uril vote's got the signature on it! "They're not yellow. I'm pretty sure that's bad. - Certaminis".

Uril: What do you mean I'm not yellow? Who here is yellow?!

Cat God: They're talking about your voting icons.

Uril: Well, why's mine not yellow then?

Cat God: Hey, I took pictures for the icons based on how you look right now. Must be your first form or something.

Uril: That doesn't explain anything.

Cat God stands silently for a few seconds.

Cat God: Dogumaru got a vote saying... "least goofy person + not murderpilled. i don't have a relevant image so. imagine you've been shown the funniest thing."

Dogumaru: Wh- voted for not liking murder?! What!

Cat God is laughing hysterically.

Dogumaru: What is going on?!

Cat God: Oh no, I'm sorry, I've just been shown- oh my gosh, I've just been shown the funniest thing.

Dogumaru: ...that is pretty funny.

Cat God: Alright, out of you three vote-havers, one of you has the last one.

Valkyrie, Dogumaru, and Uril all look tense.

Cat God: And that person is...

Cat God: Uril! You got the long vote this time. First, they asked all of you if you liked the challenge they suggested.

Filibuster: I thought it was good!

Valkyrie: Probably best or second best we've had so far, actually.

Cat God: Wow, even if you lost?

Dogumaru: Eh, it was gonna happen eventually.

Cat God: Anyways, they voted Uril because they wanted him gone last time. Nobody deserved to go more than you!

Uril: Wonderful. Kick someone out for daring to have strategy in a competition show.

Filibuster: Shut up! Your strategy was roping other people into cheating!

Uril: Really?! My team-

Cat God: We are NOT having another argument!

Cat God prepares to throw down the orange portal to the hotel, but stops.

Cat God: Come to think of it, we are in the town with the hotel. I suppose you can just walk over there.

Uril: Fine. Ungrateful brats...

Uril walks away towards the elimination hotel.

Cat God: What a boomer, am I right?

Ururun (from a distance): STOP BEING MEAN TO MY GRANDPA!

* * *

Mecha-Bun (pilot): What is that?

Mohawk Cat: Looks like a big ring to me.

The two are standing in front of the massive structure Cat God built the previous night.

Mohawk Cat: Yo, Eraser!

Eraser Cat sprints over to Mohawk Cat.

Eraser Cat: SIR, YES, SIR!

Mohawk Cat: Help us investigate a mystery.

Eraser Cat: BORING!

Mecha-Bun (mech): I'd say it's pretty interesting. Someone haphazardly built this... thing, and we don't know what it is.

Eraser Cat: Well, that's OBVIOUS! I didn't think you two were this FOOLISH!

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Enlighten us, then.

Eraser Cat: It's MINE, that's what it is! An OFFERING for ME! See, the... RING is SYMBOLIC of my... uh...

Mohawk Cat: Don't think that's right.

Eraser Cat: DOUBTER!

Cat God: Your haters are right. It's not yours.

Mohawk Cat: We're not haters!

Cat God: It's for today's challenge. This make take you by surprise, but there are some people who I hold grudges against.

Someone coughs.

Cat God: So I've selected the three biggest thorns in my side for you three teams to go and bother.

Naala: So... what is that structure?

Cat God: It's a portal. Your team won't need it, though. Go!

Doron: ...how.

Cat God: Right, forgot to give you hints. I'll pass them out.

* * *

Cat God passes Guild of Masks a piece of paper with their hint.

Ururun: It's a blue eye symbol!

Moneko: I see.

Ururun: But think about it... a blue eye symbol.

Moneko: ...I don't get it.

Ururun: Like the Aku! Y'know, those blue demon-type enemies. We fought a whole dimension of them that one time!

Hermit: There's another symbol next to it that looks like the portal. I suggest we use the portal in front of us then.

Moneko: Good plan, but the portal doesn't look like it's active.

Doron: We're working on it.

Doron and Luza are rearranging cables behind the portal.

Ururun: YOU CAN DO IT!

Valkyrie: So, what symbol does your team have?

Ururun: GASP! Colluder! Get away!

Valkyrie: Relax. Ours had a symbol of the portal on it, and judging by that...

Valkyrie points to Doron and Luza, who are struggling to untangle some cables.

Valkyrie: You need the portal too.

Ururun: Oh. Okay! We had a portal and a blue eye.

Valkyrie: Portal and a green eye for us. I heard you knew what the blue eye meant, so... any guesses?

Ururun: That's easy! A green eye means Relic- WAIT A MINUTE! You're trying to fool me! Trick me! Bamboozle me! Pull the wool over my eyes!

Valkyrie: Come to think of it, green eye meaning Relic was a bit obvious in hindsight...

Ururun: Well... green doesn't mean Relic! It actually means... Cat God! Yeah! He's got a grudge on HIMSELF!

Dogumaru (from a distance): We figured it out! Green eye means Relic!

Eraser Cat (from a distance): WHAT is a RELIC?!

Filibuster (from a distance): Those weird ancient green enemies that only exist in the past! We fought them for years!

Eraser Cat (from a distance): I KNEW THAT!

Ururun: Uh.

The portal activates. It looks like a large version of Cat God's miniature green portal.

Hermit: That portal isn't our color.

Moneko: Right. We should figure out some way to-

Ururun: I'M GONNA WIN!

Ururun and Peacekeepers, Yes? go straight into the portal.

Luza shrugs and follows Ururun.

Moneko: Might as well.

Moneko, Doron, and Hermit all enter the portal.

* * *

Mina: Blue eye means Aku.

Naala: Are you sure?

Mina: Of course I am! Some other team was screaming about it.

Mohawk Cat: Who would Cat God have a grudge on that has to do with the Aku?

Eraser Cat: Once again, you are ALL FOOLS! The ANSWER is OBVIOUS!

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Is it going to be as obvious as your last answer?

Eraser Cat: YES! I remember we spent YEARS fighting a WHOLE DIMENSION of AKU, led by none other than the DARK PRIEST!

Mecha-Bun (mech): Did we really spend years there?

Mina: It was more like a few weeks.

Eraser Cat: We all HATE HIM! He probably did something EVIL!

Mohawk Cat: Yeah, he... tried to summon a big demon or something.

Eraser Cat: I KNEW THAT! But more importantly, if WE HATE HIM, CAT GOD HATES HIM TOO!

Mina: You're finally starting to make sense for once. One problem; where even is he?

Naala: Cat God told me that our team won't need the portal.

Eraser Cat: That SCOUNDREL RETIRED to the MORTAL PLANE after we BEAT HIM! He lives on a MOUNTAIN!

Mecha-Bun (mech): Then let's go!

* * *

A portal identical to the one Cat God built stands in a grey, rocky terrain with a castle in the distance. Peacekeepers, Yes? and Guild of Masks are trying to exit the portal.

Valkyrie: Move!

Doron: I'm trying...

All ten people stumble out.

Dogumaru: What kind of place is this?

Ururun: It sucks! Everything's all grey!

Bahamut: The only notable thing out here is the castle. Let's go.

The Peacekeepers all move towards the castle.

Doron: Should we just... follow them?

Hermit: There is nothing else notable out here. There is likely no better option.

The Guild of Masks follow.

* * *

Eraser Cat: It's THIS ONE!

Mecha-Bun (pilot): It better be! I don't want to stay cramped in here for any longer!

The whole Moneko Fan Club is in Mecha-Bun's cockpit.

Mohawk Cat: I don't see anyone's house on this mountain.

Eraser Cat: Then look HARDER! I am CERTAIN that it is THIS MOUNTAIN!

Mina: I've got an easy way to find out. I shoot a rocket somewhere, and we'll know if we're at the right place based on if someone yells at us.

Naala: Don't do that!

Mina (while aiming her bazooka): Huh?

Mina shoots her bazooka at the mountain, making a loud explosion.

Mina: Wasn't paying attention, did you say something?

Naala: Nevermind.

Mohawk Cat: Hey, nobody started yelling at us! Eraser, find us another mountain.

Eraser Cat: But of COURSE! My PATHFINDING SKILLS are SECOND TO NONE!

* * *

???: HALT! INTRUDERS!

Doron: Wh...

The Peacekeepers and the Guild of Masks have entered the castle. Two shadowy figures approach, and reveal themselves to be...

Tank Cat #1: You are FORBIDDEN from ENTERING!

Tank Cat #2: The EMPRESS HATES INTRUDERS!

Tank Cat #1: AND the EMPEROR!

Tank Cat #2: WHO CARES about HIM?!

Tank Cat #1: WHO CARES about HER?!

The two Tank Cats start squabbling.

Moneko: Those two remind me of someone.

Idi, Bahamut, and Luza walk past them to a flight of stairs.

Dogumaru: Hey, calm down! Stop fighting.

Tank Cats 1 and 2: Fine.

Filibuster: We would like to know if your... rulers, I think? We want to know if they have something to do with the Relics.

Hermit: Or if they have something to do with the Aku.

Tank Cat #1: And WHY should WE tell YOU? HMMM?!

Tank Cat #2: We will NOT DIVULGE our SECRETS!

Ururun: Because we have the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP!

Doron: What.

Ururun: I'm here with my bestie-

Moneko: Hi.

Ururun: -and I believe that the POWER OF FRIENDSHIP can solve anything! So tell us! Please!

Tank Cats 1 and 2: Fair.

Tank Cat #1: The EMPEROR is INFATUATED with the STUDY of the RELICS!

Tank Cat #2: The EMPRESS is OBSESSED with the STUDY of the AKU!

Tank Cats 1 and 2: We're a little CONCERNED for their WELL-BEING!

Hermit: I see... where are those two at this time?

Tank Cat #1: WE don't WANT to tell YOU!

Tank Cat #2: YEAH!

Moneko: We'll just have to find out. Thanks for not yelling at each other and agreeing for a bit, I guess...

Tank Cats 1 and 2: Wait...

Tank Cat #1: I AGREED with FILTH like YOU?!

Tank Cat #2: I AGREED with this PLEBIAN?!

The two Tank Cats squabble once again.

Dogumaru: Let's... just check upstairs.

* * *

Eraser Cat: THIS ONE for SURE!

Mecha-Bun (mech): This is the twenty-third mountain you've been sure of.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): I'd believe we're there if you said you weren't sure.

Eraser Cat: GASP! LOOK!

Mina: Good eye! That does look like...

Mohawk Cat: Someone's house!

Mina: I've got the perfect plan.

* * *

News Anchor (on a television): In other news, local Cat Army locations have been sprouting up in mountainous areas. Here's what they have to say.

Cat (on a television): Well, we like climbing things. Mountains are climbable.

News Anchor (on a television): And there you have it.

Someone turns off the TV. They are sitting on a couch in their house in the mountains.

???: Nothing good's on anymore...

The front door knocks loudly.

???: Who?! Nobody ever visits me...

The man opens the door.

Mina: We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty. Your name is...?

Mina is standing outside the door in a formal outfit. She has a pin on her shirt saying "Associate".

Mamon: The name's Mamon. Bug off.

Mina: But sir, we-

Mamon: I don't even own a car!

Mamon shuts the door to his house.

Mamon: The nerve of some people... all you do is plot to resurrect an ancient demon and cause a whole war with the Cats and all of a sudden people keep bothering me when I'm on vacation! So annoying.

The door knocks again.

Mamon: Oh, for crying out loud...

Mamon opens the door.

Mohawk Cat: Hey, are you one Dark Priest Mamon? We're here to contact you about your lottery winnings!

Mamon shuts the door.

Mamon: I don't even play the lottery! Idiots!

The door knocks once again, and Mamon opens it immediately.

Mamon: What.

Mina and Mecha-Bun's pilot are standing at the door.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Congratulations! You won a new car!

Mina: Now, about your car's warranty...

* * *

While running up the castle stairs, Bahamut and Idi go to investigate the second floor. Luza goes to the third floor, where there is a green door and a blue door at opposite ends of a large room.

Luza walks towards the blue door.

Moneko (from below): Slow down!

Ururun (from below): I am the fastest!

The rest of the Guild of Masks catches up to Luza, who turns around and waves.

Hermit: Blue is the color of the Aku, so that blue door must be where our target is.

Ururun: Dibs!

Ururun runs at the door and swings it open. In it, there is a blue room with a girl dressed in regal blue clothing sitting on a large throne.

Hermit: I assume that's the empress.

Empress: Who are you?! Nobody is allowed to enter without permission!

Doron: You've got a lot of stuff here...

The walls of the room are filled with bookshelves. Ururun runs up and tries to take a book.

Empress: If you so much as TOUCH that, I will KILL YOU!

Ururun: Fine! Rude...

Empress: GUARDS! Get these... things out of my sight!

Hermit: Be on your guard, team.

Moneko: I'll try...

Two Tank Cats rush into the room.

Tank Cat #1: You FOOLS! We shall DETAIN YOU with HASTE!

Tank Cat #2: With GREAT HASTE!

Doron: Aren't you two supposed to be... guarding the ground floor?

Tank Cat #1: YOU are MISTAKEN! We are MANY!

Doron: ...what?

Tank Cats begin rushing into the room in droves.

Hermit: What in the-?!

Empress: HAHAHA!

Ururun: HEEEELP ME!

Ururun is being carried away by dozens of Tank Cats. The Tank Cats swarm Moneko next, before crowding Hermit, Luza, and Doron.

Ururun: IT'S THE EEEEEEEEEND! IT'S THE END FOR MEEEEEEEE!

* * *

Guild of Masks is carried out of the castle by the horde of Tank Cats, and thrown back into the portal.

Tank Cat #43: And stay out!

* * *

Cat God: Twenty-six slices of cake on the wall, twenty-six slices of cake! Throw a golf ball, take one out, twenty-five slices of cake on the wall! Twenty-five-

Guild of Masks fall onto the floor in front of Cat God.

Cat God: Oh, nice! Are you all finished? Who did you annoy?

Hermit: Well, we were going to bother the Empress...

Moneko: But she summoned an army of Tank Cats to kick us out.

Ururun: It was horrible! I never want to see a Tank Cat ever again!

Cat God: Hmm... I'm not too sure if getting kicked out counts. You had to have bothered her some other way.

Doron: Are you serious? We can't go back because of the guards.

Cat God: Well, you might have doomed- wait... is that?

Luza is holding several books from the Empress's bookshelves.

Cat God: It's genius! Luza, you have inconvenienced her in ways you can't imagine! Guild of Masks is safe!

Ururun: Wait, we win? Yay, book theft!

* * *

Mamon: I do not want to open this door again, but...

Moneko Fan Club is knocking incessantly at Mamon's door.

Mamon: I'm going to get a migraine if I don't shoo them off soon.

Mamon swings open the door, smacking Mohawk Cat in the face.

Mamon: Can you all leave?!

Eraser Cat jumps in the house.

Eraser Cat: THIS IS A ROBBERY! AHHHHHHH!

Eraser Cat throws a TV remote through a window.

Mina: Give us your stuff!

Mina runs in and starts taking whatever she can find. Naala is standing outside the door, horrified.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): I want some!

Mecha-Bun's pilot runs in as well. He and Mina are taking things, while Eraser Cat is breaking as many things as she can.

Mamon: Alright, that is IT!

Mamon grabs his staff.

Mina: What are you gonna do with that? Smack me?

Mamon points the staff at Mina to lift her into the air.

Mina: Oh.

Mamon uses the staff to throw Mina out of a window.

Eraser Cat: THE JIG IS UP! RUN!

Eraser Cat bolts out of the house.

Eraser Cat: MOVE! MOVE!

Naala: I told you this was a bad idea!

Mohawk Cat: Hey, we bothered him. That was the goal, yeah?

Naala: Fair... wait, where is Mecha-Bun?

Mohawk Cat: Trying to stop Mina from falling all the way down the mountain.

Mamon (from in the house): Get OUT!

Mecha-Bun's mech arrives to the rest of the team with Mina.

Mecha-Bun (mech): We need to leave! Get on!

* * *

The Moneko Fan Club is flying away from Mamon's house.

Mohawk Cat: There's no way any team could've bothered him that badly.

Mina: True. Look at all the stuff I got, too!

Mina shows Mohawk Cat a variety of trinkets stolen from Mamon's house.

Mohawk Cat: Nice.

Naala: I feel like we're missing something...

Mina: Nah.

Mohawk Cat: Well, let's do a headcount just to be safe. Me, Eraser, you, Naala, Mecha-Bun... wait.

Naala: We forgot Mecha-Bun's pilot!

Mina: So that's why it's been so spacious here!

Naala: We need to go back for him!

Eraser Cat: NAY! We must FINISH the CHALLENGE!

Mohawk Cat: Can we really leave the guy with Mamon?

Mina: I'm sure he'll be fine.

Naala: ...really?

Mina: Absolutely not! But hey, revival's easy.

Mecha-Bun (mech): We should go back.

Eraser Cat: Of course YOU say that!

Naala: They're right! What if the pilot isn't dead? Who knows what's going on over there?!

The whole team argues amongst themselves.

* * *

Bahamut and Idi meet up after having searched the second floor.

Bahamut: I assume you didn't find anything either.

Idi shakes her head.

Bahamut: Let's make our way to the staircase.

The two move towards the staircase. As they get close, a Tank Cat pops out.

Tank Cat: HALT! YOU ARE AN- wait...

Filibuster, Dogumaru, and Valkyrie climb to the second floor landing behind the Tank Cat and stop.

Tank Cat: Ah! The EMPEROR has been EXPECTING YOU!

Bahamut: ...what? Why? I don't even know who he is.

Tank Cat: We were ALL TOLD to LOOK OUT for someone matching your EXACT DESCRIPTION! I shall GUIDE YOU and your LESS VALUABLE COMPATRIOTS to the EMPEROR!

Valkyrie: What is going-

Tank Cat: Follow ME!

Valkyrie: -on?

Bahamut shrugs. The Peacekeepers follow the Tank Cat up the stairs.

Dogumaru: There were two Tank Cats at the entrance that didn't recognize him, weren't there?

Filibuster: Yeah.

Tank Cat: Oh, that was to be EXPECTED! Those IMBECILES do NOTHING but ARGUE!

The team reaches the third floor and follow the Tank Cat to the green door.

Tank Cat: I was TOLD that I was FORBIDDEN from LISTENING to YOUR DISCUSSION! So I shall leave with haste. GOODBYE!

The Tank Cat swings open the green door and runs away.

???: Is that what I think it is? The fool finally followed up on his end of the deal!

Past the green door is a massive room with green accents and walls filled with bookshelves. At the end of the room is a massive throne with various adornments, with a man getting up from it and walking towards the Peacekeepers.

The man is dressed in a royal robe and wears a decadent green crown. His face is that of a Cat.

Emperor: I was beginning to think he bailed out! Now, this is exactly what I pictured!

Bahamut: What are you talking about?

Emperor: You! The project!

Bahamut: The what?!

Emperor: Well? Have you seen the book I've sent Cat God? I say, he's been quite rude lately. He's all about how he doesn't need me, but that's what they all say. I plot something for years and now I have to go along with his little project-

Valkyrie: Bahamut, we can't keep listening to this guy. We have to bother him somehow for the challenge.

Bahamut: I know. But he mentioned-

Emperor: I mentioned what? The book! Yes, of course, project. I wrote for you to follow through, didn't I?

Filibuster: Wait, you wrote that?!

Emperor: Be quiet. Also, absolutely! I'm so glad Cat God is finally coming to his senses. Now with the project here, everything can fall into place-

Dogumaru: Cat God sent us here to bother you.

Emperor: Excuses, excuses. Now, you!

Emperor grabs Bahamut.

Emperor: You see, the wars of this land are never-ending. Never-ending fun, I'd say! With the Cat Army under my rule, I am free to do as I please.

Emperor pauses for a few seconds.

Emperor: But it's not enough. No, it will never be enough. That's why I aspire to do as the Relic study has instructed me, to bring forth glorious destruction in such a wondrous, splendid explosion of passion!

Valkyrie (whispering): Is it even possible to bother this guy? He's so... absorbed.

Emperor: Hence the word, my project! Explosion. You are the key ingredient for things to all go with a BANG! Do you understand?! My ambition will finally come to fruition! Finally! We can-

Idi slams into the Emperor, flinging him across the room. When he falls on the ground, he doesn't get up.

Dogumaru: Okay! There! We bothered him by knocking him out, let's LEAVE.

Idi, Dogumaru, and Filibuster run out of the room.

Valkyrie: Bahamut, we have to go now.

Bahamut (whispering): ...what the hell?

Valkyrie: Come on!

Valkyrie drags Bahamut with her.

* * *

Cat God: I'm a little bored of waiting.

Ururun: Wanna sing "99 Slices of Cake" again?

Hermit: Please spare my ears...

The Peacekeepers all exit the portal.

Cat God: Finally! Alright, tell me who you bothered and what you did.

Valkyrie: We knocked the emperor unconscious.

Cat God: WOW, okay. I guess your team is safe. I'll tell the Fan Club they're up for voting when they get back.

Cat God stands silently for a few seconds.

Cat God: Wait, your team was sent to the emperor?! No, no, no, no, NO! I messed up. I messed up.

Bahamut: We know.

Cat God: Listen, I didn't want to get you involved! I just... I forgot when selecting teams, and that freak-

Filibuster: He thinks you listened to him!

Cat God: Oh, no. OH, no. Okay, I know what I'll do. I need to get rid of that portal-

Bahamut: No.

Cat God: Wh- no?!

Bahamut: I need answers from him.

Cat God: ...okay. You're crazy, but okay.

* * *

Cat God is still standing by the portal. Everybody else has left, and the moon is visible the center of the night sky. The Moneko Fan Club finally arrive.

Cat God: Hey, you all lost.

Mina: Figures.

Mohawk Cat: Well, we did steal a bunch of Mamon's stuff. Guess that doesn't matter too much now.

Cat God: You can keep it.

Naala: What did you even have against him, anyways?

Cat God: Don't you remember? We all went to war with him because he tried to take over the world with a demon army.

Naala: Fair.

Cat God: Now, I've got a question for you all. Why did I have to wait until midnight for you to get back?!

Mecha-Bun (pilot): I got left behind in Mamon's house, so they all went back for me. Good thing too, since he was about to figure out I was hiding on his roof.

Vote to eliminate one contestant from Moneko Fan Club using this form: https://forms.gle/QzfE7utgfJGd5v8i9

The contestant with the most votes will be eliminated! Voting ends at the end of August 1st, 2023.

A note falls out of Cat God's miniature green portal.

???: Did you send people after me?! Who even are you?! Stupid emperor won't stop talking about his 'pen pal' or whatever, but he's unconscious right now.

Cat God looks at it for a bit, then sends a note back.

Cat God (on a note): Who is this?

A few seconds later, the portal sends back another note.

Empress (on a note): The Empress. From what I can tell, you're some game show host. Why did you send people after me?!

Cat God quickly throws in a note.

Cat God (on a note): Challenge was to bother someone I didn't like. I don't like Emperor at the moment, and you're his... co-worker or something, so I didn't like you by proxy. Sorry.

The next note is shoved out of the portal in a crumpled ball.

Empress (on a note): You think I like him?! He's an idiot! Leave me alone!

Moneko Fan Club: Naala, Mohawk Cat, Eraser Cat, Li’l Nyandam, Mina, Musashi, Mecha-Bun

Guild of Masks: Ururun, Urs, Doron, Hermit, Yulala, Moneko, Luza

Peacekeepers, Yes?: Bahamut, Idi, Jagando, Uril, Filibuster, Valkyrie, Dogumaru

Chapter Text

Eraser Cat crashes through a window in the elimination hotel's hallway.

Urs: What the-?!

Eraser Cat: I shall FREE YOU from the HORRORS of ELIMINATION!

Li'l Nyandam: It's her! RUN!

Li'l Nyandam runs away from Eraser Cat, who begins to pursue him.

Eraser Cat (running away): GET BACK HERE! YOU KNOW WHERE MY TARGET IS!

Yulala opens the door to his room and looks out at the chase.

Yulala: What is she doing at seven in the morning?! Who wakes a person up at seven?!

Urs: She's looking for some 'target'.

Yulala: Eh, she probably wants her teammates back or something. I'm going back to sleep.

Yulala goes back into his room and closes the door. Eraser Cat runs back down the hallway.

Eraser Cat: YOU!

Urs: ...yeah?

Eraser Cat: ...I forgot which PEOPLE were HERE! Who's ELIMINATED?!

Urs: Well, there's myself, Musashi-

Eraser Cat: THAT'S the TARGET! WHERE IS HE?!

Urs: I don't know! What do you need him for, anyways?

Eraser Cat: ...that is CLASSIFIED INFORMATION to an ENEMY like YOU!

Urs (sarcastically): Aw. I'm really missing out.

Eraser Cat: FINE, since I PITY you... my TEAM is about to LOSE a MEMBER! I CANNOT keep LOSING MEMBERS! I WILL BE ALL ALONE WITH NOBODY TO ENACT MY PLANS! So I must retrieve the MOST TRUSTWORTHY of my FALLEN COMRADES!

Cat God enters the area from the stairwell.

Cat God: YOU!

Eraser Cat: ACK! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

Eraser Cat dives out the window she crashed into the building from. A loud thud is heard a few seconds later.

* * *

Cat God: Alright, Moneko Fan Club. This is your third elimination! Before we get started, I have to show you all something.

Cat God is standing in front of a small structure covered in curtains.

Mohawk Cat: Is it Eraser? She isn't here.

Cat God: ...kind of.

Cat God unveils the curtains. The small structure is a white box with a door and keypad on it. He types "Eraser Cat" into the keypad and presses enter, and the door opens, with Eraser Cat inside.

Cat God: Revival is a lot faster now. That does not mean you should go dying for strategical advantages!

Eraser Cat: YOU can't tell ME what to do!

Eraser Cat joins the rest of her team at the elimination area.

Naala: Some of us don't have arms to type on that thing.

Cat God: Ah... probably should have thought of that. You'll have to get someone else to do it for now. Any other questions about the revival machine?

Mina: Nope.

Cat God: Okay, now for the elimination. You know how it goes from here. That said, we got 2 votes.

Mina: Wow, you suck!

Cat God: Eh, what can you do. First safe with 0 votes is Mecha-Bun.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): What a relief! I was really worried I was gonna get kicked out for making my team late.

Naala: Well, we wouldn't fault you for it. It's good to see voters think the same.

Mina (whispering): Pff, 'we'?

Cat God: And the next two safe are the murder enthusiasts.

Eraser Cat: WHO is THAT? NOBODY here is named "MURDER ENTHUSIAST"!

Cat God: I'm talking about you and Mina.

Mina: Sweet.

Eraser Cat: WHY were we safe AFTER MECHA-BUN?!

Cat God: Picked randomly?

Eraser Cat: Hmm... a LIKELY STORY!

Cat God: Now, it's between Naala and Mohawk Cat. Team transfer and a day one fan-clubber. The person eliminated is...

Cat God: Er, neither of you yet. There's a 1-1 tie in votes.

Mohawk Cat: Read out my vote reason. Twenty bucks it just says "mohawk".

Cat God: Your vote's the long one. They enjoyed watching the undercats before, and while that's still true, it's your turn for a vote since you lost a contest that you could've won without strength. Also, you're the blander and less challenge-adept out of you and Eraser Cat.

Eraser Cat: I DISAGREE!

Naala: You... disagree?

Mecha-Bun (mech): That's a little unusual of you.

Eraser Cat: MOHAWK is my MOST VALUABLE ALLY! I may even let him be a FRIEND SOMETIMES! If you leave, I will DRAG YOU OUT OF ELIMINATION WITH MY BARE HANDS!

Mohawk Cat: Take it easy! Also, you don't have hands.

Eraser Cat: I never knew you were so OBSERVANT!

Cat God: Naala's vote reason is... I've got to prepare my voice again, hold on.

Cat God inhales and exhales slowly.

Cat God: "
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Cat God: I don't even know what I just said. The rest says "honestly i like everyone so i just have to find arbitrary reasons to vote people off. maybe if you were more inclined towards criminal activities".

Naala: I, uh... don't know if I can really fulfill that. Good to know you like everyone, though!

Mina: And why can't you fulfill it? Have some fun, girl.

Naala: No.

Mina: ...you know what? I respect the bluntness.

Cat God: You know how these things are decided. Heads for Mohawk Cat, tails for Naala. If it lands on your side, you're out.

Cat God pulls out a coin and flips it.

The coin flies up into the air and lands on its side, spinning until it eventually falls on...

Heads.

Cat God: And Mohawk Cat is-

Eraser Cat: NOOOOOOOO!!!

Cat God: -eliminated.

Eraser Cat: UNDO IT NOW! I WILL RUPTURE YOUR EARDRUMS IF I NEED TO!

Cat God: I can't just undo the votes! That's not how it works!

Eraser Cat: FLIP IT AGAIN! NOW! NOW, I SAY! I DEMAND THAT YOU DO IT AGAIN-

Mohawk Cat: I'm ready to go. Throw down the portal, dude.

Eraser Cat: NO! THIS IS AN OUTRAGE! HOW CAN YOU BE SO... UNBOTHERED?!

Mohawk Cat: I knew I was gonna get out at some point, that's all. No use in making a big deal out of it.

Cat God throws down the orange portal to the elimination hotel. Musashi waves from inside, while Li'l Nyandam just stares.

Naala: You're really taking this in stride, huh...

Mohawk Cat: And you! You did well. Don't let this narrow victory go to waste, yeah?

Mohawk Cat enters the portal and gives a peace sign when looking back.

Mohawk Cat: See ya later.

The orange portal closes just as Eraser Cat tries to dive inside.

Eraser Cat: AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

* * *

Ururun: I'm bored! Gimme something to do!

Moneko: I dunno. We stole some books from the Empress yesterday, right?

Ururun: You're right! Let's see her secrets!

Ururun grabs one of the blue books Luza stole from the Empress and opens it up.

Ururun: ...I forgot I don't like reading.

Moneko: I'll do it for you then! Let's see... how to summon a demon... types of demons... how to un-summon a demon...

Hermit overhears this conversation and looks at the two, bewildered.

Hermit: What are you reading?!

Hermit snatches the book from Moneko.

Hermit: I see. Listen, I think it's for the best that we don't read these. You saw how absorbed that empress girl was, right? Meddling with demons will do that to you.

Ururun: Fair, HOWEVER!

Ururun pauses for a few seconds.

Hermit: ...however?

Ururun: ...I wanna. That's my counterpoint!

Hermit: Not strong enough, I'm afraid.

Hermit walks away with the book in hand.

Moneko: I guess he's right.

Ururun: Well, now I'm bored all over again! Need more ideas...

Cat God (in the distance): THE CHALLENGE IS STARTING SHORTLY! GET OVER HERE!

Ururun: Nevermind!

Ururun runs towards the challenge area, dragging Moneko with her.

* * *

Cat God is standing in front of the elimination hotel. There's a TV mounted on the outside wall.

Cat God: Last challenge was... something. I'm going to try to not do stuff like that again, alright? So this challenge is a lot more relaxed.

Valkyrie: And the challenge is...?

Cat God: Check this out!

Cat God pulls out a remote and turns on the TV. It shows the following text:

ROUND 1: Idi VS. Eraser Cat

ROUND 2: Naala VS. Luza

ROUND 3: Doron VS. Filibuster

ROUND 4: Valkyrie VS. Mina

ROUND 5: Mecha-Bun VS. Moneko

ROUND 6: Hermit VS. Bahamut

ROUND 7: Dogumaru VS. Ururun

Cat God: Two fancy new devices today. It's been so freeing not having to rely on that guy for materials! Even if it is burning a hole in my wallet.

Filibuster: What are these matchups... for?

Cat God: You'll all be competing one-on-one in a series of mini-challenges. Each win nets a point for your team. If you've got the least points by the end, your team's on the chopping block! If there's a tie, then... I'll figure something out.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Hey, we've got a big problem here! How's my team supposed to win when we've got one less matchup?

Cat God: I haven't forgotten about advantages for teams with less members, you know. Moneko Fan Club, having only four members, gets a free point.

Eraser Cat: I am FULL OF RAGE because of YOU! The LEAST that YOU could DO is START so that I may UNLEASH MY WRATH!

Cat God: Jeez, alright! The first of our challenges is an eating contest.

* * *

Eraser Cat and Idi are standing in front of a table. In front of each of them is a plate with a giant chocolate cake.

Eraser Cat: YOU are UNRELATED to my TROUBLES... yet I will still exercise NO MERCY!

Idi glares at Eraser Cat with a bit of concern.

Eraser Cat: DON'T LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!

Cat God: Alright, time starts... now!

Eraser Cat begins devouring big chunks of her cake with ferocity. She does it at such a speed that cake particles fling at spectators.

Ururun: I love fudge!

Valkyrie: Disgusting...

Mina: Good work, Eraser! You're hurting the other teams' chances even before their turns!

Idi eyeballs her cake without doing anything.

Dogumaru: What... is she doing?

Filibuster: Come on, Idi! We need you to start!

Eraser Cat (while eating): YOU... *chomp* STAND NO... *chomp* CHANCE! *chomp*

Idi approaches her cake. In less than a second, about a third of the cake appears to vanish.

Bahamut: Impressive.

Naala, Mina, and Mecha-Bun all start yelling at the sight of this, overlapping each other.

Naala: What?! I would've-

Mina: Did she even eat-

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Is Eraser even gonna-

Mecha-Bun (mech): It looks like Idi-

Naala: -thought Eraser would stay in the lead...

Mina: -that?! Does that even count?!

Mecha-Bun (pilot): -win now?! What the heck!

Mecha-Bun (mech): -just vanished a chunk somehow...

Idi vanishes another third of her cake. Eraser Cat's cake is about two-thirds eaten as well. Eraser Cat stops eating.

Eraser Cat: SABOTAAAAGE!

Eraser Cat flings pieces of cake directly at Idi's eyes.

Eraser Cat: HA!

Eraser Cat resumes tearing down her own cake while Idi tries to get rid of Eraser's projectile blindness.

Mina: Now THAT'S what I like to see!

Eraser Cat's cake is finally reduced to nothing but brown, sugary dust.

Eraser Cat: VICTORY AT LAAAAST!

Cat God: One minute and two seconds. It took me twenty times as long to make that cake...

Eraser Cat: VICTORY waits for NO ONE! I had to take it with HASTE!

Cat God: Victory you shall receive, then. Moneko Fan Club is in the lead with 2 points, and the other two have nothing.

Idi gives Eraser Cat a nasty look before returning to her team.

* * *

Cat God: Round 2 is Naala against Luza.

Cat God (whispering): Your challenge is to convince the people on your enemy's team to let you win. Just get one person to say something along those lines and you got it.

Cat God: Start!

Hermit: Would you mind repeating the challenge for the rest of us?

Cat God: Ah, it's a secret. Try not to lose!

Hermit: ...hm.

Naala (by telepathy): Hey, Luza. This challenge seems a little... one-sided. Do you want me to help you o-

Mina: Wow, you're doing so great at this challenge!

Naala: Agh! Since when where you right next to me?!

Mina: I have my ways. Anyways, I heard Cat God's challenge.

Ururun: YOU DID?! TELL US NOW!

Naala: Ah, well... it's to convince-

Mina: Whaaaat? You must've misheard him, it was to get the other person voted to lose! You have to get your team to say so.

Moneko: That sounds... needlessly complicated?

Ururun: Sounds like a free win to me! I want Naala to-

Mina: Not so fast! Reverse psychology is in play here. You have to say you want them to win, even if it's the opposite!

Ururun: Oh, okay! I want Naala-

Doron: Wait, think this through... she's on the team you're competing with right now. It's probably a trick.

Ururun: True...

Hermit: She's made moves like this before.

Ururun: Also true... Luza, what do you think?

Luza is making an 'X' motion with his arms.

Mina: Dang, you got me.

Ururun: Wait, are you lying now? Were you lying before?! Whuh?!

Moneko: Relax. As long as none of us say that we want Naala to win, we're good.

Cat God: And Moneko Fan Club wins again! Isn't three points this early overkill?

Moneko: ...shoot.

Hermit: Maybe we would have fared better by trying to convince the other team.

Luza shrugs.

* * *

Cat God: Round 3! Doron VS. Filibuster. This challenge is similar to the last one, but with one big difference... this challenge only ends when one of you two competitors agrees to let the other win. No interference from your team members.

Doron & Filibuster: What?

Cat God: Now go! Converse among yourselves, come to a conclusion.

Doron: Uh, our teams are kind of... behind right now.

Filibuster: They are. I guess one of us is losing since Moneko Fan Club's got 3 points already.

Ururun: HEY, YOU SHOULD-

Cat God pulls out an air horn and stares at Ururun.

Ururun: ...nevermind...

Cat God slowly puts away the air horn.

Filibuster: So... it's not good to keep everyone waiting, yeah?

Doron: Yeah... let's find some way to choose a winner.

Filibuster: Okay, uh, how about we explain... why we should win? Like, why our team shouldn't lose.

Doron: That's... not a bad idea. You can go first.

Filibuster: Alright, so my team... is pretty tight-knit, y'know? There's myself and Dogumaru who are friends, I suppose. Valkyrie and Bahamut, too. Idi's also an appreciated member, but I know she hasn't been able to do much recently what with the telepathy person being removed involuntarily. But she tries her best without it! No one here really... deserves to go, I guess? I mean, not saying anybody on your team does, it's just...uh... y'know?

Doron: Ah... I think I get the gist of it...

Filibuster: Kinda screwed up that ending...

Doron: No, no, you're good... uh, is it my turn?

Filibuster: Sure.

Doron: Okay... personally, I just want to connect some more with the people on my team. I've kinda been trying to... stay away for the start of this whole... competition... but! But it's reflecting like this that lets me see... that they're not bad people. I mean, I think Ururun saw me drawing something once before... and that is a passion of mine. I just... wasn't too used to the team then. I didn't have the confidence to share what I like. But now... I don't want it to be too late... and have someone leave before I can really connect with them...

Filibuster: ...huh. I think yours was much better.

Doron: ...really?

Filibuster: Sure! I can tell it took you some confidence to get it all out. You deserve this win.

Ururun: YEAH! WE WIN!

Cat God pulls out his air horn but then stops for a second.

Cat God: You're lucky the challenge just ended! Guild of Masks gets 1 point, leaving the score at 3 to 1 to 0.

Filibuster goes back to his team.

Dogumaru: Good job, man.

Valkyrie: Even if you lost, it was in grace. Nothing to be ashamed of.

* * *

Cat God: Our fourth round matchup is Valkyrie against Mina.

Valkyrie and Mina give each other death stares.

Cat God: You two will debate each other on one topic: who is the worst eliminated contestant? S-

Mina: Jagando.

Cat God: -tart!

Valkyrie: Really? Already picking?

Mina: Can you think of anyone worse?

Valkyrie: Li'l Nyandam?! You of all people should know, he was on your team!

Mina: He was a brat, but at least he said anything.

Valkyrie: So?! Actions speak louder than words.

Mina: Name one thing Jagando contributed while he was here. One thing.

Valkyrie: Name one thing Li'l Nyandam did! You can't think of anything either!

Mina: The rules of etiquette say the one who asks first gets an answer first.

Valkyrie: I'll tell you this much, he helped us out enough to only get eliminated after two from your team!

Mina: Such a typical response from you. I knew I shouldn't have expected better.

Valkyrie: WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?!

Mina: You do know that anger detracts from critical thinking, right? Besides that, what a predictable response! Only foolish fools fall for foolish fodder of folly from foolish fools such as you.

Valkyrie: Some debate you're putting up! You just spit out snarky remarks instead of making an argument!

Mina: Okay, I'll entertain that. Li'l Nyandam got voted out in a majority, meaning he attracted attention. Jagando got voted out in a tiebreaker by a vote that barely had anything to do with him! A tiebreaker that you were a part of, no less! In a competition where viewers decide, being boring is worse than being rude. There's why Jagando is the worst.

Valkyrie: Being boring is worse than being hated?!

Mina: Not to me, really. I just chose Jagando over Li'l Nyandam because I knew it would upset you for my worst pick to have been on your team.

Cat God: HEY!

Valkyrie & Mina: What?!

Cat God: I don't tolerate bad-faith argument here! That includes arguing just to tick someone off.

Mina: Are you serious?

Cat God: Peacekeepers win this round, putting the score at 3-1-1.

Valkyrie: Serves you right. You got too confident and look at where it got you.

Mina: This isn't over.

* * *

Cat God: Round 5 is a matchup between former teammates; Mecha-Bun against Moneko! This will also be Moneko Fan Club's last round, since they have no more members.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Worst case scenario is that we lose this time, and then...

Mecha-Bun (mech): Then it doesn't matter too much what happens the next two rounds, we'll still be at 3 points, so...

Moneko: Our team can't lose!

Mecha-Bun (both) & Moneko: Right!

Moneko: Wait, I'm not... on that team anymore.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Well, it does have your name in it.

Cat God: The challenge is rock-paper-scissors. Simple's best, right? Best of three, say you've got your pick whenever.

Moneko (thinking): What kind of thing would they throw out first? How does this even work when there's two of them? I guess they're close enough with each other to pick the same thing... but they didn't go for something immediately, so they have to be thinking it over.

Mecha-Bun (mech, thinking): Perhaps the most predictable choice is, ironically, the most unpredictable. I can tell she's thinking it through, so something obvious would be a curveball. Rock is the first in the mantra, so the most obvious... I'll go for that.

Mecha-Bun (pilot, thinking): Man, I wish I got the cake-eating contest. I'm hungry.

Mecha-Bun (mech): Ready.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Wait, we are? Uhh, sure.

Moneko: Ready.

Cat God: Alright... NOW!

Mecha-Bun (mech): ROCK!                                                                                                                            Moneko: SCISSORS!

Cat God: Rock beats scissors. 1 to 0. Choose again.

Moneko (thinking): That didn't go well. I'll have to rethink this... should I swap? Rock was something obvious, so maybe that was their plan all along. I'll just counter it by doing something even more obvious; the same thing again.

Moneko: Ready.

Mecha-Bun (mech, thinking): During the time she was on our team, she seemed a little vain, so I didn't think much... but observing her on her new team, she's started to show some skill. I may be underestimating her here... but I expect she won't pull too many mind-games. She'll probably swap to rock, since it beat her last time; I'll go paper in response.

Mecha-Bun (pilot, thinking): I feel a little bad for just sitting around while my friend does all the thinking...

Mecha-Bun (mech): Ready.

Cat God: Okay, NOW!

Mecha-Bun (mech): PAPER!                                                                                                                            Moneko: SCISSORS!

Cat God: Score is tied 1-1. Next point wins round 5.

Moneko (thinking) They have two interpretations for what I'm about to do next; I'll switch, which would be reasonable if I thought they figured out my trick, or I'll keep going with scissors, which seems obvious but may be unexpected if they think I've got strategy. Picking the same thing three times in a row... if it works, I'm just glad that you think I'm clever enough to not do something so obvious.

Moneko: Ready.

Mecha-Bun (mech, thinking): She wants me to think her strategy is to swap at the last second. I know now that she's trickier than that. The thing that I would least suspect is the most obvious... scissors a third time. I'll go rock to counter. She's quite formidable... our team would probably be in a better standing if she didn't get team-swapped...

Mecha-Bun (pilot, thinking): This is so wrong! I've got to contribute something...

Mecha-Bun (pilot): Ready!

Mecha-Bun (mech): Wait, hold on-

Cat God: Announce your choices... NOW!

Mecha-Bun (pilot): PAPER!                                                                                                                            Moneko: SCISSORS!

Mecha-Bun (pilot): NOO! I EXPECTED A SWAP!

Cat God: Moneko wins this round, putting the scores at 3 for Moneko Fan Club, 2 for Guild of Masks, and 1 for Peacekeepers, Yes? The Peacekeepers are going to need to win both of the next two rounds to avoid elimination.

Moneko: That challenge was a little stressful.

Mecha-Bun (both): True.

Mecha-Bun (pilot): But it was nice to meet again.

Moneko: Yeah.

* * *

Cat God: These last two rounds are both Guild of Masks against Peacekeepers, Yes? This round is Hermit against Bahamut, and the final round will be between the last two, Ururun and Dogumaru.

Cat God stares vacantly.

Hermit: ...what is the challenge for round 6?

Cat God: Er, I'm thinking of one. Gimme a second.

Cat God continues to stare vacantly.

Cat God: Okay, I've got it.

Cat God throws down the orange portal, showing the inside of the elimination hotel.

Ururun: HEY! NO FAIR! THERE WASN'T ANY VOTES, YOU CAN'T KICK US OUT!

Cat God: That's not what this is for. This challenge... is more of a test of how well you've done so far in the entire game.

Bahamut: ...how so?

Cat God: Seven eliminated contestants currently reside in this hotel. One by one, in the order that they left, they will decide which of you shall win.

Bahamut: ...I'm not too worried.

Yulala (from inside the portal): I get to choose first? Nice. Wait a sec... are our choices the whole challenge? That's pretty lazy, don't ya think? I would think that a host like-

Hermit: Just let him finish. If you don't, he'll start over because he thinks you weren't listening.

Yulala (from inside the portal): -this would have some more plans lined up, y'know? What with such a grand prize you were offering this whole time. Regardless, I don't even need to think for a second about my pick because Hermit's my pal and my former teammate.

Cat God: 1 vote Hermit, 0 Bahamut. Li'l Nyandam's up next.

Li'l Nyandam (from inside the portal): Wow, this one's not hard at all. Bahamut is awesome! The other person is just some geezer.

Musashi (from inside the portal): Hey! We talked about respecting your elders.

Li'l Nyandam (from inside the portal): Ah, shoot. Sorry.

Cat God: 1 vote each. Musashi's turn.

Musashi (from inside the portal): I guess I'll go with Hermit! You're both good in my eyes, I just think I need to make up for Li'l Nyandam's comment.

Cat God: 2 for Hermit, 1 for Bahamut. The-

Jagando goes through the portal, points at Bahamut, and then immediately leaves back through it.

Cat God: ...alright then! 2 and 2, next is Urs.

Urs (from inside the portal): Hermit... you already know I'm gonna pick you. I really appreciated how you stood up against the whole cross-team fiasco we were struggling with. You've got some strong morals. Keep it up.

Cat God: With Hermit now in the lead, the next voter is Uril!

Uril (from inside the portal): ...I've got something to say about Hermit.

Hermit: Cat God, I don't think this challenge is particularly fair. After all, our former teammates always vote for us. Uril, you-

Uril (from inside the portal): Quiet! I'm not finished. Hermit, I haven't forgotten how you meddled in a perfectly good strategy of ours! The fact of the matter is, you gave up a prime opportunity to excel because you wanted to be self-righteous. I vote for Bahamut, because in the short time I was on his team, he wasn't an incessant complainer like you. I almost hope you don't get eliminated so I won't have to deal with your lectures in this hotel. Almost.

Hermit just stares back at Uril in bewilderment. Bahamut is also staring suprisedly at him.

Cat God: ...wow. So it's down to Mohawk Cat, eliminated just earlier today, to decide who wins this round.

Mohawk Cat (from inside the portal): Way to put the pressure on me, dude. Ah, both of these people are super cool. Hard to make a choice here... I have known Bahamut ever since the end of the army's third big conquest, so I think I'll go with him. No offense, Hermit.

Hermit: None taken.

Cat God: And so round 6 goes to Bahamut, and by extension, the Peacekeepers. The final round decides it all.

Bahamut: Hey, Mohawk.

Mohawk Cat (from inside the portal): Huh? What's up?

Bahamut: ...you mentioned that we've known each other for a while. That's true, but we haven't been interacting much lately... I guess that's mostly my fault. Hopefully that'll turn around pretty soon.

Mohawk Cat: ...what do you mean?

Bahamut: You'll see.

Cat God closes the orange portal.

* * *

Cat God: The final round is upon us... Ururun against Dogumaru! You two will run a mini-gauntlet of the previous six mini-challenges, plus a tie-breaker if needed. First up...

Cat God passes both competitors a slice of chocolate cake on a plate with a plastic fork.

Cat God: First to-

Ururun (with food in mouth): I'm done! Can I get another, pleeeease?

Ururun has messily stuffed her entire slice of cake into her mouth. Dogumaru looks at her with a mix of concern and disgust.

Dogumaru: I've, uh, lost my appetite...

Cat God: Gross, but effective. Next, convince anyone to let you win! No stipulations this time.

Ururun: Hmm... no stipulations? Hermit, what does 'stipulations' mean?

Hermit: It means no conditions. Last time, you had to get someone from your enemy's team to let you win, but-

Filibuster: DOGUMARU SHOULD WIN!

Hermit: -this time you don't.

Cat God: Next one happening right now! One of you has to decide to lose all over again.

Ururun: I can wait all day.

Dogumaru: Can you?

Ururun: Are you testing me?! I'll have you know I'm the world's most stubborn person, and I'm PROUD of it!

Dogumaru: I'm... not going to make this longer than it needs to be. You can win this round.

Ururun: Yes, YES!

Cat God: Now, which eliminated contestant is the worst! One sentence explanation only!

Ururun: I heard people talking bad about Li'l Nyandam earlier because he's a brat, so... him!

Dogumaru: Uril. He caused massive cross-team drama by trying to cheat the game.

Cat God: Gotta agree with Dogumaru on this one. Really not a fan of that guy. It's two and two in the scores, so next is rock-paper-scissors! One round only.

Ururun (thinking): Heh, he'll never see this one coming.

Dogumaru (thinking): I feel like she's just going to pick the first thing that comes to her mind...

Ururun & Dogumaru: Ready!

Cat God: Go! Say your answers!

Dogumaru: PAPER!                                                                                                                                                 Ururun: ROCK!

Ururun: DANG IT!

Cat God: Alright, score is now 3 and 2! If this round goes to Ururun, we'll have to do a tiebreaker. Final part of the final round... I'll throw down the orange portal to the eliminated contestants, and the first hotel guest who picks will decide the outcome!

Cat God throws down the orange portal, and the person standing directly in front of it is...

Jagando. Urs and Musashi are conversing a few meters behind Jagando, not facing the direction of the portal.

Dogumaru: Jagando, quick! Point at me!

Ururun: URS! SAY YOU WANT ME TO WIN, PLEASE!

Urs (from inside the portal): Oh, alright! I choose-

Jagando points directly at Dogumaru.

Urs: -Ururun to win!

Ururun: Gasp! Does that count?! Please tell me that counts! PLEASE!

Cat God closes the orange portal.

Cat God: So... Urs' response... was too late. Jagando picked first, so Dogumaru wins the final round. Peacekeepers stand at 3 points, putting Guild of Masks up for elimination with only 2.

Ururun: NOOOO! THIS IS ALL MY FAULT!

Dogumaru: Hey, you did well this time! It was a narrow finish.

Ururun: *sniff* Fine! Good game...

Cat God: Let's close things up for today. I'll set up the voting-

Bahamut: Wait.