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Chapter Text

Carlos Reyes read the article title on his phone screen over and over, letters taunting him as if they were coming through the glass and hitting him in the face. As quarterback and the current face of “America’s Football Team,”  he feels like this information should have been disclosed to him via Coach O’Brien rather than the ESPN News feed on a random Wednesday in July. 

Last Minute Trade Between Giants and Cowboys Sends Rutgers Star TK Strand to Texas after Draft; Becomes First Openly Gay Player in National Football League

It’s not like TK had disappeared off of the face of the entire planet after that night four years ago, just Carlos’s.

Carlos had been following the running back’s career since the start, watching him become the star of the Big 10, turning the Rutgers football program into something high school standouts were clamoring for. He watched the feed of TK accepting last year's Heisman trophy, making history as he became the first openly gay college football player to accept the award by coming out during his acceptance speech. Watching that in real time made Carlos’s stomach do backflips; he so desperately wanted that freedom for himself.

The man scanned the article a little more. It touched on TK’s tragic backstory, a mixture of rumors and truth: Tyler Kennedy Strand, 5’11”, 210 pounds, born and raised in Manhattan. Firefighter hero father who died of 9/11-related lung cancer two years ago, lawyer mother who died in a pedestrian accident shortly after. Spent his first year at UT-Austin, before entering the transfer portal and landing at Rutgers after his freshman season, where he led the NCAA in rushing, breaking records left and right. Carlos remembers that year TK was in Austin.

***

Carlos was a junior at the time, a rising star in his own right, already prepping to declare for the draft, discarding his postgrad plan to follow in his father’s footsteps and become a Texas Ranger. TK was an overly-confident freshman, ranked #1 in the nation in high school, known for his flashy touchdown dances and screaming at the referees over what he thought were bullshit calls. There were rumors TK had problems with drugs and alcohol, but Carlos wasn’t sure he believed that; every time he crossed paths with TK at a party the man seemed sober, and never had so much as a beer bottle in his hands. They weren’t close, making small talk in the locker room and working well together on the field, but it wasn’t anything more than that until the end of season cookout thrown by the UT athletic department.

The men found themselves in a random supply closet of the athletic center, bodies pressed against each other as TK shoved his tongue down Carlos’s throat, stumbling into shelving and ripping off their clothing, TK soon making his way down Carlos’s body and swallowing him whole. As soon as they finished, TK grabbed a towel off the shelf next to him, throwing it in Carlos’s direction before straightening himself up and leaving the closet, not uttering a single word to the other man the rest of the day, Carlos replaying the scene over and over as he lay in bed, wondering what the hell was that?

Carlos was hooked from the first kiss.

Hooked enough, in fact, he asked TK to come over the next week under the guise of hooking up again, as they had a couple more times since the cookout—always quick, simple, in discreet places. The locker room showers in the middle of the night; the supply closet yet again. This time, Carlos wanted to add the layer of getting to know each other first. He made them dinner, a simple meal as an act of kindness before jumping into bed. 

Even though Carlos was out to an extent, he didn’t engage in so-called ‘hook up culture’, or even dating culture, at all. He was gay; he didn’t hide it, but he didn’t talk about it, either. He knew this would change once he went pro. Carlos had come out to his parents at seventeen. It had shocked them, the silence coming from the other side of the dining room table speaking volumes. Eventually, after a few tense minutes, his parents hugged him, told him they loved him, and that was that. It had been years of silence, the subject never touched on again. 

He was an NCAA football star in Texas; before that, the darling of the Austin Independent School District, breaking records near-weekly, his crowning achievement winning the state championship for Westlake High his senior year in a nailbiter against the Dillon Panthers, who had been undefeated for six years at that point. It didn’t matter how ‘blue’ and liberal and weird Austin was, the majority of people that filled Memorial Stadium every Saturday in their burnt orange best, the ones that tuned in to ESPN or the Fox Sports Network all over the country weren’t all kind and accepting. The fear of a Tinder date leaking something to the press was more than enough to keep Carlos from pursuing anything romantic. 

So when TK Strand, lean and green-eyed, threw him into that supply closet, Carlos thought that maybe everything could end up fine in the end, that he wasn’t as broken as the important figures in his life made him feel. 

 TK showed up, yellow hoodie and black sweats, bursting through the door to Carlos’s off-campus apartment and immediately threw himself onto the man, pressing him against the wall and tugging on his shirt, buttons scattering across the hardwood floor as TK ripped the white dress shirt off of Carlos’s chest, all the while pressing lips and tongue and teeth to the man’s neck and jawline.

Carlos broke apart from TK, cupping the freshman’s face in his hands.

“Take a breath, tiger,” Carlos said evenly.

TK responded with a confused look on his face when Carlos stopped him from continuing. “What? You’re the one that called me to come over.” 

Carlos smiled as TK leapt for his throat, pressing his tongue against the man’s Adam's apple. 

“Yeah, I did,” gesturing with his eyes over to the carefully set up table in the middle of his dining room. A salad, fish, fresh bread, all from the farmer’s market up the road. He’d even opened the bottle of champagne. Carlos showed love and appreciation for people through food; something that was passed down to him from his abuela and his mother. 

TK’s demeanor changed in a near instant, though the man still obliged, taking the seat at the table that Carlos offered him. Carlos poured the man a glass of champagne, offering the flute towards TK, who tensed up even more.

“None for me thanks,” TK responded in clipped tones. 

Carlos felt himself regretting this decision more by the second. “Sorry, I should have asked.” 

The silence that filled the air was tense, building slightly as time went on. As Carlos grabbed the fish out of the oven and turned around, trying to fill the tension with small talk, mentioning how fresh the fish was because that's what the man from the market told him, he noticed the look on TK’s face growing sour, jaw clenched.

Carlos felt his heart drop to his knees. Stupid, stupid. “Damn, you don't like fish…”

TK gestured to the table’s spread. “This feels like a whole thing.” 

Carlos gently placed the bread down on the table between them. “A whole thing?” Carlos looked around his kitchen again. “You mean dinner?”

TK sighed. “It’s just…I thought that we were clear about everything. I’m not looking…for this,” gesturing yet again to the carefully thought out spread Carlos had prepared the two. 

Carlos took a seat opposite TK. “Well, I’m sorry, I don’t do this a lot.”

“Clearly.”

Carlos swallowed, downing some of his champagne for liquid courage. “I don’t think it’s a big ask to have an actual conversation before we hook up.”

TK scoffed. “Well, it’s a little late for that, don’t you think?”

Carlos felt the coldness in the man’s words hit him like a knife to the chest, sinking in deeper as TK continued his cold expression.

TK continued, seeing the change in Carlos’s face as he went on, ignoring it. “Look, I just got out of a relationship, I’m not looking to jump into another–”

“It’s a meal,” Carlos told the other man flatly, “Not a marriage proposal, TK.” 

The harshness of his words seemed to affect TK in some way, the man clenching his jaw before abruptly sitting up and heading towards the door. 

Carlos had enough, not taking TK’s sullenness for an answer. “Why are you being so crazy?”

TK looked back at Carlos, his green eyes shining with tears threatening to fall. “I’m sorry for the misunderstanding,” TK said quietly, opening the door and disappearing into the night. 

Carlos had texted him, trying to apologize, to no response from TK. 

Two weeks later, Coach Rosewater let the team know that TK would be transferring to Rutgers, effectively ending his time at UT-Austin. Carlos couldn’t help but think that he could have been the reason.

Feeling lost, Carlos retreated into himself, abstaining from romantic relationships for years, save for a handful of drunken hookups that soon stopped after being drafted as a 1st round draft pick for the Dallas Cowboys. He was out to his agent Lexi Mitchell, a happily married lesbian, so she understood. But, Carlos knew her and knew she would make every possible date sign some type of NDA. It just wasn’t worth it.

After being drafted, Carlos thought about coming out several times. Sure, there were gay NFL players out there, though none of them came out while active in the league. It would be nice to just be Carlos Reyes; not the carefully crafted, incredibly censored and guarded Carlos Reyes put on display across the country every season, star quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys, leading the league in every statistic there was. It would be nice to show those kids in little leagues, on high school teams, in the NCAA, that it was okay to be who they were, wholly and unapologetically, and still make it as far as he had. 

But…

There were so many things holding him back. The response from his parents made him take several steps back; he didn’t think he could go through that again, over and over. In college, Carlos noticed more than one slur thrown around from the field. He had noticed it while in high school too, the culture that was created in the world of sports; slurs and sayings that were so cruel were also so normalized, a heartbreaking aspect Carlos had considered, then shoved deep down when making the leap from college to professional sports.

 Another factor was the lack of other out NFL players actively in the league. Carlos never wanted to be the first in anything like that; knowing that the history he would make would also make him a puppet-like mascot for the league to show they were ‘woke’ and ‘supportive’. So, he stayed quiet, a handful of people knowing his truth, hoping, praying , that maybe a Packer, or a Raven, or even one of his own teammates on the Cowboys would come out before him to make history.

Now, because of Carlos’s hesitance, his cowardice, TK would be the first. 

It was because of that, that Carlos felt the need to protect TK, for some reason. Not that he thought TK couldn’t handle it. He’d seen the aftermath of his speech, the articles, the vile Facebook comments. TK had taken it in stride, treating life normally, as if he didn’t just make a permanent place for himself in the history of the National Football League. It would be an entirely different story once TK stepped out onto the field of AT&T Stadium for his first official game. 

Carlos swiped out of the article, sending a link to the team’s offensive coordinator, Grace.

Carlos Reyes: Did you know about this?? 

Grace Ryder: Only just found out from Marjan. O’Brien, Tyson, all the higher-ups really kept it quiet. 

Grace Ryder: Judd doesn’t think he’ll make it onto the active roster.

Carlos Reyes: Yeah, I guess we’ll see.

Grace Ryder: Didn’t you two play together at UT? You should reach out, as an old friend, and as captain. Would also probably help him to let him know he’s not alone…

Carlos Reyes: 🙄 Reaching out to him as captain, welcome him to Dallas, nothing else.

Grace and Carlos had started with the Cowboys the same year, quickly becoming close friends. Carlos loved his teammates, but the bond he shared with Grace was special. Another Texas native, she made waves when she left her assistant coaching job at Texas A&M for a job on the Cowboys, where her husband, Judd, was a veteran offensive line center, simultaneously becoming the first female offensive coordinator in the NFL. The pair worked well together; one wouldn’t know they were even married until you discovered their sweet and loving nature behind closed doors. Grace and Judd were two of a handful of people working for the Cowboys that Carlos had felt safe coming out to. 

It didn’t take long for Carlos to find TK’s profile; he followed him that fateful year in Austin and never unfollowed him, though at one point, he noticed TK had unfollowed him. He knew TK’s number was still somewhere in his phone, buried under hundreds of contacts added over the years, but he couldn’t find the strength to look through their last messages he knew were still stored on this phone, even three years later.

Carlos did a quick scroll through TK’s Instagram, seeing nothing out of the ordinary. A black and white photo of the lower Manhattan skyline. A photo of a bearded dragon, basking in what looked like a well kept habitat that still made Carlos shudder. He didn’t know why, but reptiles in general terrified him. 

There was a graduation photo with an older gentleman holding onto a toddler, all three with wide smiles. Uncle and cousin, maybe? Game photos, TK mid-celebration dance in a scarlet red jersey, number 52. A selfie with the same toddler, both boys with their tongues sticking out. As he scrolled down further, he found a photo of a younger TK, holding up a UT shirt, sandwiched in between a man and a woman with similar smiles and light colored eyes; Carlos assumed these were his parents, and this photo was taken when TK first committed to UT-Austin his senior year of high school. The photo left Carlos with a tight feeling in his chest, knowing that both of TK’s parents were now gone, this photo likely one of the last ones the man has of his family as a whole. 

Getting back to why he was on TK’s Instagram, Carlos’s finger hovered over the message button when he was suddenly interrupted by a call from Michelle, one of his best friends back home. 

“Hey, chica.”

“Hey, yourself,” the woman replied. “Remember us little people down I-35?” 

Carlos chuckled. Of all of the teams he could have played with, he’s never been more grateful the Cowboys traded up to select him. Three hours north of Austin, he was able to visit home more frequently than if he played out of state, keeping a loft in downtown Austin for the offseason, in addition to his penthouse apartment in the Highland Park neighborhood of Dallas. Of the two, he preferred the loft. Austin was home, the loft was smaller, cozier, 30 minutes from his parents ranch outside of the city. His Dallas abode took up half the floor of his building; too much space for one person, but his business manager insisted on it, even going as far to insist he buy the other apartment taking up the other half of the floor. Carlos squashed that idea, even before he noticed a new tenant had moved in. It already felt empty enough; he didn’t need an entire floor of a building for himself. 

“I’ve been back in Dallas for a month, surely you can’t miss me that much already.” Carlos had spent the offseason entirely in Austin; four months with friends and family before heading back upstate in June in preparation for training camp. There were endless nights of giggling and fun with Michelle, weeks spent helping his father take care of the family ranch. Save for being on a football field, it was where Carlos felt best.

“You know I always miss you,” Michelle responded in a lilting tone. The pair had been friends since high school, and she is the older sister of one of his closest friends, now a paramedic captain in Austin. One of the only people Carlos had kept in contact with from home, he loved her because she loved him for who he was, not just his skills on the football field that led him to a life of fame that still bewildered the man at some points. 

“The tone in your voice indicates you called for another reason,” Carlos smirked. Michelle was there during the TK “situation,”as she called it. She also had the Cowboys and Carlos on Google alerts, meaning she also knew about TK already. 

“Maybe…heard you have a new teammate.” 

Carlos sighed. “Yeah. Not new to me, I guess.” 

“Do you think he remembers?” Michelle was the one who had pushed Carlos to do the fateful dinner. He still remembers being curled up on her couch, telling her about the tryst in the supply closet.

He’s a 10…and I kind of can’t get him out of my head.

“With the way he absolutely ghosted me?” Carlos scoffed. “I’m sure he forgot about me two days later.”  I never forgot, Carlos reminded himself. 

“Do you think you’ll ever bring it up?” Michelle questioned.

“No…yes…I don’t know, Michelle,” Carlos said, exasperated. He thought of TK joining the team as a fresh start and maybe they could put the past behind them, if TK even remembered it. They made a pretty good team on the field in Austin that season; years of gained experience and a career on the professional level may strengthen that. 

“What do you think I should do? Considering, you know, you got me into this mess in the first place.”

Michelle hummed into the phone. “Test the waters, maybe reach out before training camp? You are the captain, aren’t you? It’s like it's your job or something.” 

Carlos rolled his eyes, knowing it wasn’t visible to the woman on the phone. He wasn’t sure what he did to be surrounded by such levelheaded, feminine energy, but Grace and Michelle were two forces in life he didn’t know he needed until it was right in front of him. “You’re the second person to tell me to do that tonight.”

Michelle let out a laugh. “Tell Grace I say hi.” 

Carlos grinned into the phone, a chuckle accompanying it. There was a brief silence before he moved onto the next question. “How’s Iris?”

Michelle’s tone grew more solemn. “She’s good. Six weeks into treatment. It was rough at first, but the meds seem to be working now.” After another period of silence, Michelle continued. 

“Thank you, by the way. This treatment center is first class. Did you know they have crab cakes on their menu every night? The center is taking them for equine therapy tomorrow. Literally just going to a farm to pet horses.”

Carlos exhaled. “Nothing but the best for my girls.”

Carlos thought about his most kept secret, something that was kept between him and those he held closest to his heart.

Halfway through his freshman year at UT, Coach Rosewater approached him with the prospect of NFL scouts coming to his games once his sophomore year hit, painting a picture of a future for the man that included fame and fortune as a household name. Of course, after the initial shock and glee wore down, 19-year-old Carlos panicked, still reeling from coming out to his parents, and knowing how queerness was portrayed, ridiculed even, when it came to the big leagues.

 So, he did what he thought was right: he married his best friend, Iris, both of them lost, seemingly broken, thinking this would be the cure-all to their troubles; this complicated layer adding even more distress to Carlos when taking that disastrous leap that night with TK Strand.

The wedding wasn’t a big affair; the Travis County courthouse with the only witnesses being the couple in line after them. They tried to make it work, but deep down they knew it was doomed from the start, something that became apparent just a few months in. They meant to get divorced once they figured this out, they really did, but then Iris disappearing one April night put a halt to the proceedings, Michelle finding Iris, now diagnosed with schizophrenia, living in an encampment under an overpass this past March, Carlos already in town for the offseason. 

Carlos had spent the last few years in mourning that his best friend was dead. His father was a Texas Ranger; he knew the probability of someone missing as long as she had been turning up alive. The stages of grief came in waves, but at the end of the day, acceptance always won out. 

Waking up one day to Michelle frantically banging on the door of his downtown Austin loft to tell him Iris was alive, shifted something in Carlos’s world, wanting to keep those he loved closer than ever before. 

Like the person he was, the person his parents taught him to be, he used his wealth on others more than himself. Donations to the local children’s hospitals and LGBTQ+ centers (albeit anonymously), buying a new truck for his father, a new kitchen for his mother. Covering any expenses needed to fix up the ranch that had been in the Reyes family for generations, Carlos lent a hand to it all. This included any and all treatment Iris needed on the path to wellness.

“Do you know how much longer she has?” Carlos asked.

Michelle let out a sigh through the phone. “They’re thinking at least another two months. They want to make sure this is the right combination of medications.” There was another pause on the line. “She really likes it there, Carlos. I think she may volunteer there when she’s done. Help out those who were in the same situation as her.” 

The thought of that brought tears to Carlos’s eyes, feeling them form behind deep brown irises. It was just like Iris to do something like that, help those because she knew what it was like, she had been there. Michelle had been sending photos of Iris to Carlos when she made her visits; the healthy, smiling woman was a far cry from where they found her so recently. 

“Just tell me if you guys need anything from me,” Carlos responded. “Maybe once everything settles you guys can come out here for a game. Owner’s suite, hotels comped, everything. Just let me know when. That includes Mama Blake too.”

“You’re too good to us,” Michelle teased. She quickly responded, the tone of her voice making it seem like she’s treading lightly about to dive into a sensitive topic. “So Carlos…”

Carlos hummed into the receiver. “Hmm?”

“So TK’s pretty much in your life again, whether you like it or not.”

“Yeah?” 

“And Iris is doing better…”

“Can you please just cut to the point, ‘Chelle?”

Michelle took a deep breath before continuing. “Shouldn’t you start the divorce proceedings so when the time comes for you to meet someone, there’s no strings attached for you to… fall in love? Get married? I don’t know, live your life?”

It took everything Carlos had in him not to hang up on Michelle right then and there. 

“Iris needs my insurance,” he said flatly. “And it’s a lot more complicated than that, chica.” 

“And it would be a lot more complicated if the star quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys was arrested for insurance fraud,” Michelle retorted. 

“I just…” Carlos paused. “Let Iris get settled. Then we can talk about it more.” He took a brief pause before continuing, quelling the anger that he somehow still held all these years later. 

“Besides, I highly doubt I’ll be anything more than civil with TK Strand.” 

Michelle chuckled. “I’ll bet money you’re joined at the hip by the first away game.”

Carlos groaned, about to snap back when a text came in from Coach O’Brien. 

O’Brien: Gonna need you to reach out to Strand. Welcome wagon, niceties, all that. Didn’t he play at UT with you? Let him know he’s got a friend.

Carlos started deep breathing, using the exercises he had learned online over the offseason to center himself before a game, anxieties be damned. Third time’s the charm, I guess.

“‘Chelle, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later, okay? Send Iris my love.” 

“See you later, Superstar,” she giggled. Carlos could almost feel her winking through the phone. “Tell TK I say hi.” 

Carlos groaned, but not before Michelle had already hung up.

Carlos got back to what he was doing before Michelle interrupted, finally clicking on the message button of TK’s Instagram profile.

CarlosReyes_18: Hey man, welcome to Dallas. Let me know if you need anything, I know how scary a new city can be. Excited you’re a Cowboy! 

Carlos’s heart skipped a beat as he watched his message almost immediately go from “delivered” to “seen”, skipping again when the man saw the text bubble popping up, dancing around the screen for 30 seconds before disappearing again.

TK52Strand: message seen

Carlos stared at the screen again for what felt like hours, just like he had when he first read the article stating that TK was heading back to Texas, waiting for a message to pop up. One finally did.

TK52Strand: 👍

Carlos took a deep breath. 

This season is going to be fun.

Chapter Text

TK knows he’s being an asshole, but for some reason, he just can’t stop.

Alex always said it’s because he’s a Sagittarius/Capricorn cusp with a Pisces moon and a Scorpio rising, but he doesn’t know what the fuck that gibberish has to do with anything.

Reyes was nice, genuine, reaching out even after the shit TK pulled all those years ago. He wondered if Carlos remembered those secret moments in the Neuhaus Center, that dinner Carlos had so obviously spent a generous amount of time on because that’s just the kind of guy he was. TK chalks it up to just not knowing what to say ( he knows what to say), so he sends a simple ‘thumbs up’ emoji. He’ll see him in a few weeks at training camp, anyway.

Thinking back on it, Carlos had been right; it wasn’t a lot to ask to have a conversation before they hooked up. They were still teammates, after all, and would be for at least another year before Carlos graduated. They got along in the locker room and on the field, maybe they should have tried being friends (with all sorts of benefits) outside of that. TK was willing to talk it out, he really was, until Carlos pulled that line about the marriage proposal. Uncalled for, even if Carlos didn’t know about TK’s previous romantic life.

TK swiped out of the message thread with Carlos, taking a second to scroll through the quarterback’s profile. The man didn’t seem to be social media savvy. He had 20 or so posts, all with months in between them.  A photo of Carlos on a horse, a sunset on what looked like a farm, lots of game photos from his time on the Cowboys and at UT-Austin. No doubt about it, Carlos was a Texas boy through and through. 

TK had gotten into Dallas earlier that night, an Uber taking him to a pristine white apartment building with an impeccable view of the city skyline, the apartment taking up half of the top floor, furnished well by whatever interior designer his agent had hired. He had managed to find a listing for a penthouse apartment in a ritzy neighborhood where several members of the team lived, signing the contract before he could even think about what he wanted when it came to Texas real estate. He liked apartment life and was used to it, and his new home was three times the size of his childhood apartment on 86th - more than enough room for him. If he stays another season, maybe he'll look into one of those mansions he'd passed on his way.

Everything really was bigger in Texas.

TK laid back against the plush pillows that lined the bed, feeling incredibly small in the cavernous primary bedroom. He started picking at the comforter, soft ivory in color with a textured pattern of dots and lines littering it with matching sheets, a large photo of the Manhattan skyline framed above the headboard. It wasn’t something TK would have picked himself, but it was comfortable, and he really did appreciate the effort his managers were putting in to making him feel like home in a foreign place. 

***

The plan was always going to the Giants. 

TK had dreamed of walking out onto the turf of MetLife Stadium since he could speak. He remembered his dad taking him to game and teaching him how the game worked, TK begging his mother to let him sign up for the little league at the Y in their neighborhood when he was six. Both Owen and Gwyn had been fierce supporters of their only son, though Gwyn showed up to more games than his father. Surviving 9/11 and going through a divorce had a habit of making yourself absent in your son’s life. 

Now, Owen was gone for good.

TK didn’t like thinking about it, both of his parents dying before he was 23. It was something he just kept pushing down deeper into himself, locking it up to be addressed at another time. There were bigger issues in front of him; including the articles proclaiming him the “first openly gay NFL player.” Sure, he was the first one to speak on it publicly, but he knew he wasn’t alone. His new quarterback was proof of that.

If he was being honest, TK hadn’t planned on coming out that way, in front of so many people, nationally televised, accepting a highly prestigious award. His speech was carefully thought out, proofread by his coach, but it was the emotions of the day that got to him, the words leaving his mouth before TK even realized.

“As a gay man in sports, this means the world to me. I want kids in little league, in high school, starting out in college…I want them to know that they’re not alone and it’s definitely okay. Trust me, I know that it is not easy. My path has not been easy at all, but it’s something that I can share with people to help them.”

The comments were easy to ignore when they were online. He knew that wouldn’t be the case as soon as he stepped out onto the turf of AT&T Stadium. TK recalled his time at UT, the closet trysts and the would-be date with Carlos. Reyes was tough on the outside, but a sensitive soul. TK didn’t need to put 2 and 2 together to know why the man was still closeted. 

There was a nagging in the back of TK’s brain, telling him to reach out to Carlos– send more than a thumbs up, apologize, show him his own support, just be nice!! TK’s thoughts overpowered the nagging; would Carlos even want to hear that? Was he still holding a grudge from a few years prior? Was he even gay? Maybe TK’s behavior scared him straight. It was just best to put up barriers to prevent anyone being hurt, whether that be TK or Carlos.

TK took a deep breath, stopping his thought spiral when an email notification came through.

TO: [email protected]

FROM: [email protected]

SUBJECT: Welcome to Dallas!

A quick Google search let TK know Marjan was the Director of Communications for the Cowboys, handling press and social media for the team. TK scanned the email, which invited him out for coffee so they could get to know each other. 

TK could read between the lines: she knew he had a reputation and wanted to make sure it wouldn’t be a problem. There was no way she did this with all new players; TK was a special case. He still agreed to it and responded to her email, agreeing to meet the next morning at a coffee shop a few miles from the apartment. TK knew what he was in for. 

“Don’t flaunt it. Keep your head down. Just play the game.” 

“We have resources for you, if you need them. Those meetings are anonymous anyway, right?”

“Just try not to make it onto TMZ too much during the season.”

The man placed his phone face down on the nightstand, setting his alarm even though he knew sleep would evade him.

***

TK was right, getting a grand total of three hours of sleep, staring at his ceiling for two hours before his alarm finally went off, accepting his fate and rolling out of bed to get ready for his meeting with Marjan. He mapped to Houndstooth Coffee, 2.3 miles away. Nothing about the meeting suggested it was formal, so TK decided he would take the opportunity to get in a run, something he hadn’t done in at least a week due to the rush to move from New York to Texas. 

As he stepped out of the apartment building, TK felt like he got slapped with a wet towel. He was no stranger to humidity, but Texas in July just hit different. TK made a mental note that he would be Ubering back after his meeting with Marjan. 

Fifteen minutes later, after a fast-paced run through his new neighborhood, TK rolled up to the little coffee shop Marjan had chosen, panting, the back of his shirt drenched in sweat. Great first impression, Strand.

Marjan was already inside – or at least he he assumed the younger woman waving at him is who he was there to meet. He walked over to the woman, who was wearing a bright yellow floral headscarf that matched her sweatsuit perfectly and a warm smile on her face. 

“You must be TK,” Marjan said warmly. “I’m Marjan, welcome.” She gestured toward the counter of the shop. “Can I get you anything?”

TK smiled politely, enjoying her warm demeanor but still being cautious. “Water and a cold brew, please. No straw, no lid.”

“You got it.” 

She returned shortly, placing a to-go coffee cup in front of him with a bottle of water. Marjan herself had gotten some sort of green concoction. 

“Matcha,” she said as she noticed TK eyeing the drink. “Tastes like grass, but it still tastes better than coffee.”

TK let out a genuine smile for the first time since entering Texas. “My dad used to say the same thing. He was a big health nut.” He didn’t know why he felt the urge to open up to Marjan so quickly, but something about her just made him want to.

Marjan nodded. “The fire captain.” She paused for a minute before continuing. “He would have been so proud of you, I’m sure. Your mother, too.” 

TK looked down, staring into the bitter liquid in the cup in front of him. Don’t fucking cry, Strand, he thought to himself. You’ve been here five minutes.

“Yeah, well,” TK said with a bitter tone, putting his walls back up. “They’ll never get to know.” Jesus, dude. Sometimes it was just better to be an asshole than have feelings. 

Marjan nodded, taking a minute to read TK, breaking the silence before it became too awkward.

“You enjoying Texas so far?”

TK bit the inside of his cheek, trying his hardest not to roll his eyes. “Got in last night. Haven’t seen much yet.” He took a swig of his coffee, looking directly at Marjan. “Can I ask why you wanted to meet with me?”

Marjan shrugged. “Just wanted to get to know you better. You’re a pretty big deal right now. You’ve been trending on Twitter for three days straight.” 

“You want to make sure I’m not a problem,” TK replied, crossing his arms and leaning back in his chair. “That I won’t start fucking guys on the field or need to be sent to rehab before the regular season starts.”

“That’s the reason GM Tyson and Coach O’Brien wanted me to do this meeting,” she said, reaching her hand out across the table to TK. It was then that he noticed her dark red nails matched her lipstick. “But as someone who will be fielding questions about you left and right, who is more or less in charge of protecting your peace from the public, I just want to get to know you better.” She punctuated her sentence with a sip of the matcha in front of her. 

“So, tell me about yourself, Strand,” Marjan smiled, a sparkle in her dark brown eyes. “You must be more than what Fox Sports is saying.” 

TK softened his posture, throwing a smile Marjan’s way. He didn’t know if this was a tactic that the coach thought of, but he really felt like he could trust the woman.

“I have a pet bearded dragon,” he answered, smiling as he thought about the reptile currently residing in his living room. “His name is Lou 2. My little brother named him. Jonah. He’s 3. Don’t ask.” 

“What happened to Lou 1?.” 

“Actually? There was never a Lou 1. I don’t know where he got the idea for Lou 2,” TK giggled. He felt himself relax around Marjan. He had heard about southern hospitality, experiencing it himself the last time he lived in Texas, but after decades in New York he felt like he’d never be used to it. “Are you from Texas?”

Marjan shook her head. “Miami. I worked with the Dolphins in their communication department until last year, when I got the offer to run comms for Dallas.”

TK smiled, “Congrats on the promotion.” 

Marjan returned the smile, “I could say the same thing to you. College to pros, it’s a big jump. Are you excited?”

TK thought about it. He’d barely had time to process the chain of events. He’d graduated from Rutgers early, the whirlwind of the NFL draft barely giving him time to realize he was finally living his dream. 

“I guess I am?” TK responded. “Haven’t had much time to process, but it’s all a lot. Just excited to keep playing.”

“I’m sure it is, TK. But you’ve got a great team behind you. Have you met anyone else on the team? I’m sure a few have reached out.”

TK’s demeanor changed, thinking about the near-cold shoulder he’d given his team captain just hours ago.

“T-the captain reached out,” TK sputtered out, taking a sip of his water to try to collect himself, pretending like his thoughts about Carlos didn’t make up a majority of why he barely slept that night. “Reyes, I think?” Marjan nodded to let him know he was correct. He knew he was. “Yeah, he sent a message to me on Instagram. We used to play together when I was at UT.”

“It’ll be nice to play again with him, I’m sure. Carlos is great, one of the most genuine people I know.”

TK nodded, trying to contain himself. He knew this. He wasn’t about to start gossiping about an ex-fling to a woman he’d only met half an hour ago.

The pair continued talking for the next hour, finding out how much they had in common. 

“Did you know this wasn’t my dream job? When I was little I wanted to be a firefighter,” Marjan confessed. “Still putting out fires, I guess. Just not real ones.” 

TK let out an easy grin as he had several times over the course of his conversation with Marjan. “I did too, but I think that was my dad’s doing. I grew up going to his firehouse, though I think I wanted to be a paramedic more.” TK had majored in Human Biology for that purpose. 

Marjan nodded enthusiastically. “ I’m sure there’s an alternate universe out there where we’re putting out literal fires together.” 

Eventually the pair parted ways, Marjan offering to drop TK off back at his apartment. The woman gave him a tight hug, putting her contact information into TK’s phone before he went into his building.

“Welcome to Dallas, TK,” Marjan said with a smile. “Let me know if you need anything, and if not, I’ll see you in a couple of weeks at training camp.” 

TK nodded, relishing in the hug he didn’t know he needed. “Thank you, Marjan.” 

Maybe this team wouldn’t be so bad after all. 

***

The Star right before training camp was one of Carlos’s favorite times of the year. 

The training center in Frisco was quiet, a rarity between July and January. Normally the hallways were alive with sounds of weights clanking in training rooms or drills being run in the small stadium outside. Carlos loved both versions, but he savored the peace and quiet that came before a hectic six months of football.

Today was their first team meeting of the season, getting together before training camp started next week. These meetings normally didn’t make Carlos nervous, in fact he loved getting to see his teammates before they were fully engrossed in the season. There was just one new teammate in particular he couldn’t stop thinking about. 

Carlos walked into the practice locker room and took a deep breath as he stepped towards his cubby, seeing a new #18 jersey hanging up. This had been his jersey number since middle school, somehow lucking out each time he progressed in his career that the number remained unchanged. There was just something about watching the jersey colors change but the number stay the same that filled Carlos with a constant comfort. It was then he noticed the new plaque on the cubby next to him, STRAND engraved on it, with a brand new white jersey hanging up, the number #26 almost shouting at Carlos. The man’s heart skipped a beat.

“Is that our captain I see brooding over there?” a voice rang out into the silence of the locker room, forcing Carlos to turn around to see Paul Strickland, tight end, coming into the room and enveloping the man in a tight hug. 

“Hey, bud,” Carlos smiled, looking his friend and teammate up and down. “Looks like Chicago was good to you this summer.” 

“It definitely was. Didn’t miss this humidity though,” Paul replied, wiping off the sweat already pooling on his forehead. “I don’t know how you and Judd do this year-round.” 

“Us Texas boys are just built differently,” a booming voice came in from behind, Judd Ryder wrapping both his arms around Carlos and Paul. 

Carlos felt himself breathe easier as his found family surrounded him, being rounded out by kicker Mateo Chavez, though he couldn’t stop looking around for TK. 

“What do you guys know about Strand?” Mateo asked as they sat in the locker room waiting for the meeting to start. 

“Heard he’s good, like really good,” Paul responded. “Lead the NCAA in rushing yards, by like, over a thousand. Maybe we’ll actually make it through the playoffs this year.”

“I heard he was supposed to play for the Jets but he fucked a player and when it ended he went crazy, so that’s why he’s in Texas,” Carlos heard Luke Gifford chime in from across the room. The way the linebacker had said that so casually made Carlos’s stomach churn, remembering why he kept himself closed off from a majority of the team. 

“I heard he was in rehab all summer, that’s why it was such a last minute addition,” Mateo added. “Hey, Reyes, didn’t you play with him? Have any horror stories?”

Carlos felt his breathing get shallow as the player’s eyes all turned to him. Carlos kept himself together, shrugging as he tried to remain calm. “He did his freshman year at UT, I was a junior. We didn’t really interact much.” Carlos shot eyes across the room to Judd, who knew the real story, silently begging him to remain quiet. 

“I’m sure everything will be fine,” Judd replied. “Everyone just needs to play nice and focus on the game. Gracie and O’Brien both will have our heads if we don’t.” 

It was then that a hush blanketed the room as TK walked in, head down. He was wearing a pair of grey joggers and an tattered old NYFD shirt, black sunglasses covering his eyes. Green eyes, a shade of seaglass Carlos had never erased from his head. Carlos watched as he disappeared behind the crowd of men gathered in the locker room. Following behind TK was Coach O’Brien, who clapped his hands together with a smile, excited to see his team together for the first time in months.

“Alright boys, a new season is ahead of us. Preseason and postseason were…absolutely abysmal,” the man paused, looking around at the room, reminding them they lost all four preseason games and were knocked out of the playoffs almost immediately after getting a wild card bid. “We managed a decent season, but we’re going to be better this year.”

The man smiled before continuing his speech. “Guess I should welcome all the new faces I see,” he continued before pointing towards Carlos. “Listen to your captain, listen to your coaches, and we won’t have a problem, all right?” O’Brien turned around to hang a clipboard on the wall, slapping it before speaking again.

“Rooming assignments. No switching,” the coach said sternly. “I’ll see everyone at 7am on Monday. We’re starting strong and ending strong this year. Who’s with me?”

The room erupted in a cheer, Carlos feeling lighter than he had in days. This was his team, his sport. Nothing could change that. Still, he walked over to the clipboard the coach had on display, not expecting a change. He had been rooming with Paul for his first two seasons, he didn’t expect a change until he noticed a new name next to his on the rooming assignments.

Carlos Reyes (QB) (18) & TK Strand (RB) (26).

Shit.

***

TK had always been #52.

Randomly assigned to him in his little league, he had grown incredibly attached to the number. It wasn’t just a consistency thing, but it tied him to his father whose firehouse in New York was 252. It was a number that adorned his social media accounts, his house, and all of the records he currently held. Now, that was all about to change.

TK took deep breaths as he stared a the jersey in front of him, the white and royal blue proudly proclaiming STRAND, #26. He thought about what his parents would say at this moment, when TK was nearing a tantrum over two fucking numbers.  

“ It’s just a number, honey. It won’t affect your game at all,” he heard Gwyn whisper in his ear.

“26 is just 52 cut in half. If anything, it’ll make you faster!” he could hear his father joke. 

“Hey, TK.” 

TK looked up to see Carlos standing next to him, their first face-to-face interaction in three years. TK quickly glanced at the man, noticing he’d barely changed in that time. Still the same golden tan skin, dark curls, and deep brown eyes. TK didn’t think he’d have a visceral reaction to seeing the man in person again, but goddamn, the man was hot. It was entirely unfair that there was a man out there that is beautiful on both the inside and outside. TK mentally prepared himself for how many cold showers he was going to have to take on the road with that as his roommate. 

TK shot a quick smile towards the man, quickly returning his gaze to the jersey in front of him before responding. 

“Hey.”

Carlos cleared his throat before continuing. “Just wanted to say welcome, again. We’re glad to have you in Dallas. Think you’ll be a great addition to the team.” 

“Thanks.”

Carlos looked around, trying to figure out how to fill the tension in the air between the men. 

“Since we’ll be rooming together on the road, maybe I can show you around the Star? I know it’s a big facility, probably a lot bigger than you’re used to–”

“I’m good, thanks. I’ll figure it out.” TK’s demeanor reminded Carlos so vividly of that last dinner. Carlos took a deep breath, trying his hardest not to explode.

“Well, if you need anything, don’t hesitate to reach out,” Carlos said, returning TK’s coldness with an edge to his voice. “Welcome to Texas.”

***

As much as Carlos loved his teammates, there was just a certain bond he kept with members of the support staff; his next stop after the team meeting was stopping by to visit the medical wing of the Star.

“Hey, sexy!” he heard physical therapist Nancy Gillian shout across the PT room, a grin spreading across Carlos’s face. Nancy had graduated from UT the same year as Carlos, their paths crossing some as the exercise science major worked with the football team as part of her course of study. 

“Hey, Nance,” Carlos replied as he scooped the woman up in a bear hug. “Missed you.”

“And I you,” Nancy smirked. “You should really post more on Insta, like Marjan asks you to. I hate not knowing what you’re doing at every moment.” 

Carlos shrugged. “It was more of the same. Do you really want to see my parents ranch every day?”

“If it means I get to see those muscles in a tank top, yes,” Nancy joked, taking Carlos’s right arm, inspecting his elbow. “How’s this doing?”

“Better, I’ve been doing those exercises you told me to,” Carlos flexed his right arm, moving it around to show his range of motion. Sure he was only about to start his third season of his professional career, but over 15 years of football had wrecked his elbow. “Gets sore at night, though.”

Nancy patted the massage table next to her. “Get up, let me see.” 

Carlos obliged, holding out his arm for Nancy as she massaged it.

Silence filled the air for a few minutes before Nancy spoke. 

“So, have you talked to Strand yet?” Nancy said innocently. 

Carlos shot her a look. “Where are you going with this?” Nancy was one of four people who Carlos had come out to, Grace, Judd, and Marjan being the others.

Nancy focused on massaging the muscles on Carlos’s right arm. “I was just asking.”

Carlos sighed. “Yeah, I have. Messaged him, he sent back just a thumbs up.”

Nancy gasped, a bite of sarcasm to her voice. “So cold.” 

“I mean, he could have been nicer about it. I tried again earlier in the locker room and he blew me off again.” He looked down at Nancy, taking a deep breath. “He’s my roommate on the road this year.”

The woman raised her eyebrows, trying to keep focused on the task at hand, now rotating Carlos’s arm in circular motions. “Interesting.”

“What’s so interesting about it?”

Nancy gently put the man’s arm down, looking at him directly. “Don’t you think you can use that time to clear the air?”

“Doesn’t look like he wants it cleared,” Carlos scoffed.

Nancy shrugged. “Things can change.”

***

“Alright, I want to see professional athletes acting like professional athletes out there, fellas!” Grace spoke to the uniformed men circled around her. “We have a crowd out there today, people. This is our last play before we go to Denver, LET’S GO!” Grace looked down at her tablet, looking back up before pointing towards Carlos. “Reyes, Strand, Tiger 12, Tom & Jerry right, Gun trips, right bunch, F shuttle.”

TK adjusted his helmet, nodding in the offensive coordinator’s general direction before heading out onto the field. It was the last day of training camp; the last two weeks were filled with some of the most vigorous training of his life and the intense Texas heat made him feel like he was running through molasses with every play. Ice cold showers became a daily delicacy.  As gruesome as it was, he loved it. This is what he was born to do.

He’d managed to keep it civil with his teammates, not going past small talk. He was one of the last to arrive every day, and one of the first to leave. He’d been the most friendly with Marjan, who was pulling him aside any chance she got for what felt like an endless cycle of promotional photos and videos to showcase the Cowboys shiny new rookie. At least she made it fun, joking with TK in between every take, the pair having conversations that pulled him away from practice just a little bit too long. They had even made plans to get coffee again. 

Camp was open to the public today, the practice stadium littered with diehard fans and family members. TK felt a lump in his throat as he looked out at all of the people in the stands. None of them were there to cheer him on, TK reminded himself. They were there to make sure the new troubled fresh meat with a public affinity for dick wasn’t going to singlehandedly fuck up the season. 

TK got out of his head and back into the game, nodding towards Reyes as they took their positions on the field, just shy of the 30 yard line. Their makeshift team was up 21-3, TK’s speed on the field accounting for two of the three touchdowns. Carlos nodded back before starting the play, pretending to pass off the ball to TK before effortlessly throwing it in the other direction towards CeeDee Lamb, the wide receiver. The play was seamless, evading the defense just as they had practiced several times before. Lamb caught the ball like it was nothing, sprinting towards the end zone as TK followed him, weaving through players before he noticed the ball hurtling towards him, 5 yards from the goal line and catching it with precision before throwing himself into the endzone, jumping up as soon as he heard the ref’s whistle. He’d kept himself calm and collected during his last two scores, but TK found himself in such a groove he barely registered the fact that he has whipped his helmet off of his head, jumping up and down, screaming. It wasn’t long before he noticed no one was celebrating with him, shame filling the man as he headed towards the sidelines to pack up.

TK looked across the field as he noticed players going to the stands, greeting fans and hugging their family members. He noticed Carlos chatting with an older couple, who TK assumed were Carlos’s parents, remembering the man was from Austin. The older man was speaking intensely to Carlos, pointing out towards the field at certain times, at one point taking the quarterback’s arm and inspecting his elbow. 

TK watched Carlos grow more tense as the conversation went on before a young girl who had to be no more than 5 sprinted over to Carlos, wrapping herself around his legs. Carlos knelt down so he was at eye level with the girl and put his helmet over her head, comically oversized on her small frame, the little girl letting out giggles so loud TK could hear them from yards away. 

The laughter was contagious and TK cracked a smile  as he looked over at the happy affair, locking eyes with Carlos in the process. He returned the smile with a warmth that filled TK from the ground up, the barriers he’d put up a few weeks ago slowly breaking down.

Chapter Text

Carlos was an anxious man, his family could tell you that. His father would say he was born looking worried, the deep crease in between his brows a near permanent facial feature. Being the only son and the baby boy of the family would do that to you. 

When he first mentioned the idea of playing football in college, hoping it would turn into a professional career, his mother laughed. Not because she didn’t think he wasn’t good enough, but because of how he fared when away from home.

“What? I’ve only left the state like, twice in my life,” he argued. “This will be a great way to see the country, even the world.”

Andrea chuckled. “And we had to drag you kicking and screaming both times! You got homesick after a weekend in Branson!”

After a while, his parents gave in. A full ride to UT-Austin wasn’t something that could be ignored. 

Over time, Carlos got used to the constant travel. It helped that it usually wasn’t for long, a weekend at most, save for the years training camp took place outside of Dallas. The team camaraderie was something that got him through the season,and being roommates with Paul and the ease with which he got along with the man helped Carlos’s homesickness, whether they were in Kansas City or Philadelphia. 

Now, with TK as his roommate, the anxiety of being far from home was slowly creeping in, even as they sat in the away locker room of Empower Field. He yearned for the comfort of his apartment. He missed his bed, his coffee machine, even the building’s friendly doorman who would constantly engage in friendly conversation with the quarterback, giving unsolicited advice about the Cowboys roster, hoping that if he told Carlos, it would make its way back to the coaching staff. 

The team had just played their first preseason game–a horrific loss in Denver, losing 17-7. Carlos scoring the only touchdown of the night in the few snaps he played seemed to have hit a nerve with TK, the man sullen from the time the fourth quarter ended and onwards, refusing to go to the press room and instead quietly going to shower. His behavior was noticed by the other men on the team, most of them steering clear of TK, chalking it up to the attitude problem the press painted him to have. Carlos, as team captain and as a nice human in general, tried to play devil’s advocate with his teammates. 

“Come on, guys, this was his first game, his first time to show what he's made of,” Carlos explained to Judd and Mateo as they packed up in Empower Field’s away team locker room after TK had already slipped back to the team bus. “Any one of us would be acting the same way.”

Judd scoffed. “Sure, but I’m sure that fiasco in the press room didn’t help much either.”

Carlos gulped nervously, thinking back to the last hour as he sat in the conference room and fielded questions as the team’s captain. An older journalist from The Denver Post asked Carlos how he felt about having “a gay” on the team now, if he or any of the other players felt less comfortable in the locker room now that TK was in there “ogling” them, and if tonight’s loss was caused by TK ‘getting distracted by the men on the field’. 

“I noticed that touchdown pass you threw his way, Reyes,” the man said. “Was he busy looking at one of those dreamy defense players?” 

It took Carlos a minute to answer. Not because he didn’t know what to say, but because he needed to take a few deep breaths so he didn’t jump across the table separating him from the piss-poor excuse of a journalist in front of him.

“It’s actually not a prob–” Carlos barely got his sentence out before Marjan cut him off, taking over the mic and seething as she glared at the reporter.

“Our players’ sexual orientation has nothing to do with how they play on the field. Need I remind you, Frank, that we are still in the preseason and that tonight’s loss has been a learning experience for the whole team. One that will benefit them for the next game in Los Angeles.” Marjan took a deep breath before continuing her monologue. 

“May I also remind you that though it is the preseason, tonight was Strand’s first professional football game and I would ask that you show him grace, and not pry into his personal life. No further questions,” Marjan threw the mic down on the conference table, grabbing Carlos by the arm and leading him out of the press room.

“I could have answered that myself, Marj.” 

The woman looked back at him, rolling his eyes. “Well, you took too long.” She whipped her head back around, mumbling to Carlos. “Bus leaving for the hotel in 30 minutes.” 

Within the hour, TK and Carlos were in their tenth-floor room at the Omni Hotel. A tense silence filled the room  as they walked in, TK immediately disappearing into the bathroom as Carlos heard the lock of the bathroom door fill the room.

Carlos carefully set his bag on the bed closest to the door, slowly gathering his pajamas and toiletries bag. He quickly changed into the old ragged Longhorns shirt and gym shorts, brushing his teeth in the little sink just outside the bathroom. He didn’t know how long TK would be, but between the loss and the incident in the press room, Carlos just wanted to get to sleep. 

About ten minutes after Carlos crawled into bed, TK appeared from the bathroom, throwing his bag towards the end of the empty bed. Carlos couldn’t help but look over due to the noise, eyeing TK. The man was shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of boxers, a medallion hanging from his neck. It wasn’t anything Carlos hadn’t seen before, but he still found himself entranced by the man, the way his ab muscles flexed, the bee tattoo on his right forearm moving as TK peeled back the sheets on the bed. Carlos felt himself getting dizzy watching TK’s shoulders flex as he stretched and moved around to get comfortable in bed. 

Keep it together, Reyes. 

“What?” 

Carlos snapped back to the real world, seeing TK glare in his direction. 

“Sorry, I wasn’t –”

“Trying to figure out how to get me cut from the roster?”

Carlos looked at TK, his brown eyes meeting green. “You know tonight wasn’t your fault, TK.”

“Whatever helps you sleep tonight, Reyes,” TK spit out before turning the other way towards the window so he wasn’t facing Carlos. 

Carlos took a deep breath, turning out the light before landing flat on his back in the hotel bed,  wondering if it was too late to request a single room. He was quarterback, after all. 

***

TK wandered around the Star on Tuesday morning, hopelessly lost and cursing himself and his ego for not letting Carlos give him a tour of the facilities. 

TK had an appointment with Dr. Tommy Vega, the team physician. She had reached out to him after the loss against the Broncos. TK wondered if it had to do with the slight limp he had walking off the field at the end of the game, or if she needed to know if she had to find a better place to hide her prescription pad. TK knew how it went. 

Eventually he found the medical wing, finding a small office with the woman’s name on the plaque outside. After knocking softly he was welcomed into the room by a tall woman, hair in intricate french braids and a smile that seemed to shine for miles.

“TK? Hi, you can call me Tommy. Please, have a seat,” she said, gesturing to one of the soft armchairs that sat opposite her desk.

TK smiled, gingerly sitting down in the one closest to the door. Always find an escape route, TK thought to himself.

Tommy took a seat at her desk before smiling at the man again and speaking. “I just wanted to welcome you to the team because I hadn’t gotten a chance to do that yet. How are you liking Dallas?”

TK let out a tight smile towards the woman before letting it disappear from his face. “It’s fine. Haven’t seen much except my apartment and the training facility.” 

“Understandable.” 

TK looked around the office before speaking again. “Can I ask why you wanted to see me today?” 

“Ah, yes!” Tommy exclaimed, looking through the scattered papers across her desk. “I just wanted to check on you. I saw you limp off the field a bit after the Broncos loss, are you doing okay?”

TK nodded, barely looking Tommy in the eye. “Old injury acting up.”

 It made TK think about the injury that nearly ended his career before it started.

He’d dealt with drugs before, after he proposed to Alex and got the most humiliating rejection in existence. TK just wanted to make the pain go away, using old pills from his wisdom tooth surgery. Three days in the hospital after getting his stomach pumped, he didn’t really think much about what he had put into his body.

Then, Owen died with TK on one side of his bed and his ex-wife, Gwyn, on the other. It was his last wish that no matter what happened, TK would still make it to every game of his sophomore year at Rutgers.

“Scouts start looking this early, son,” Owen coughed out a few weeks before he passed. “The Giants won’t wait.”

TK still played that Saturday against Purdue until one bad tackle snapped his left ACL, ending his sophomore season.

Two surgeries and a few months of physical therapy later, TK was cleared for his junior year. The one thing he had been hiding during this entire ordeal was his dependence on the opioids that were prescribed to him after his first surgery.

 It wasn’t until his mother dragged him from a drug house in Queens, needle still in his arm, and into a rehab facility in Los Angeles that he realized how dire his addiction truly was. His mom was his biggest inspiration in getting clean, celebrating one year sober just before his college graduation. 

Two weeks later, Gwyn was run down in a freak accident near her apartment. 

It felt like the universe’s only goal in life was to fuck TK, trying to force him down to the depths of hell where that little voice in the back of his head said he belonged, but he didn’t let it. He continued down the path of sober living, attending meetings in New York, having a support system in his sponsor. Sobriety was one of the few ways he thought to keep his mother’s memory alive, no matter how hard it felt to keep up with some days. 

TK hadn’t realized how far in his head he was until he noticed Dr. Vega’s mouth moving, realizing he hadn’t heard a single thing she had said.

“Sorry, Dr. Vega I–”

“Tommy.”

TK cleared his throat. “Right, Tommy, I’m sorry. Could you repeat that, please?” 

“I was just asking if you needed any help with your knee.” 

“What kind of help?”

Tommy shrugged. “Well, we have an excellent physical therapist on staff, Nancy. She can get you stretched out, send you home with some exercises to do in your off time.” the woman took a deep breath before continuing. “We also have other means of pain management.” 

TK eyed the woman up and down, now sure this was a trap set up by GM Tyson.

“No thank you, ma’am. I’m 17 months sober.” 

Tommy smiled. “That’s wonderful, honey. But I can prescribe non-opioid-based medications, if you need it. ACL injuries are lifelong, even with surgery, especially in this field. Don’t try to tough it out. Otherwise we may not see you back here next year.” 

TK smiled, charmed by the woman’s warm demeanor. It reminded him so much of his mother. “Thank you, Dr.--- Tommy. I’ll keep that in mind. I’d love to get set up with Nancy before resorting to that.”

“Absolutely, TK.” 

TK left Tommy’s office with a physical therapy appointment the next morning and a warm feeling in his stomach. If Tommy and Marjan were this kind, maybe he should give the team a chance. 

***

15 seconds left, 3rd and goal line. Grace had just called a timeout, the offensive team standing around her on the sidelines of SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles. They were up 25-18 and the game was theirs, but it always felt good to get that last minute score. 

“Okay boys, last chance,” she said as she held up the play on her iPad. “You know what to do.” 

The men nodded, making their way back onto the field. As they got into position, Carlos looked over at TK, giving him a slight nod before starting the play. Carlos started the play with a quick pass to TK, who flawlessly broke through the defenders and ran it into the endzone, slamming it down and watching the scoreboard change from 25 to 31. After an effortless extra point by Mateo, the score became final, 32-18.

Carlos noticed the difference in the air after their win against the Chargers.

The locker room was filled with chatters and cheer, as the first win of the season always seemed to bring around. Carlos looked around, even noticing a small smile on TK’s face as Paul came over and gave him a reassuring pat on the back. Carlos smiled to himself after witnessing the interaction, noticing a crack in the barriers that TK had put around himself.

TK and Carlos’s hotel room was still filled with silence as the men worked around each other, both quietly getting ready for bed. TK was being kinder than the experience Carlos had in Denver, letting Carlos take the bathroom first and making small talk.

As the two made it to their separate beds, TK’s phone chimed with an incoming FaceTime, the man’s face softening as soon as he answered the call.

“TK!” A small voice rang out from the device.

TK sat up in bed, a grin on his face that Carlos had never seen before. Seeing the man’s smile made Carlos’s heart flip inside his chest, as much as he fought against it.

“Hey, lil buddy. What are you doing up so late?”

“Daddy and I watched the game, we saw you on TV!” 

“I was on TV?” TK smiled again. Carlos figured this was TK’s nephew, who couldn’t be much older than 3. 

“Yeah, Daddy said you scored a lot of points and won even if the defense was shit!”

TK held back a laugh, glancing over to see Carlos doing the same. 

“I don’t think what he said was meant to be repeated, Jo. Where is your dad right now?” 

“He’s asleep right now. I took his phone.” 

TK chuckled. “I think you should be asleep right now too, buddy.” 

“But I don’t want to!” Jonah cried.

TK smiled into the phone, Carlos noticing just how green TK’s eyes were when he was happy.

“I’ll tell you what. We’ll both go to sleep right now and I won’t tell your dad that you swore.”

Jonah sighed. “Fine, TK.”

“Good night, Jonah. Love you.”

“Love you, TK!!”

The man hung up the phone, still smiling. A few moments of silence blanketed the room before TK looked over at Carlos, who was smiling slightly at TK.

“My little brother,” TK explained. “He’s 3.”

Carlos nodded, remembering the photo he saw on TK’s instagram of him, Jonah, and an older man, puzzle pieces falling into place inside his head. 

“I have a few nieces and nephews around that age. It’s fun.”

TK smiled towards Carlos, the warmth from the gesture nearly making Carlos dizzy, even from across the room. “Yeah, he’s really just saying anything right now.” 

“He’s cute.” Carlos didn’t see Jonah’s face on the screen, but if he was directly related to TK, he was sure the little boy was a carbon copy of his older brother.

“Yeah, he is.” 

A minute of silence passed before TK took a deep breath, looking directly at Carlos.

“Goodnight.  Good game tonight.”

Carlos nodded, turning out the light. “Yeah, you too.” 

The men settled into their beds, Carlos facing away from TK so the man couldn’t see his smile, even in the darkness.

Maybe TK had a human side after all.

***

Carlos realized the human side of TK Strand may have been short-lived as he stood outside the Dallas Police Department. 

Even though they had won against Seattle, a hard-fought game ending in 27-26, TK’s demeanor was cold, the man not even stopping to shower after the game; and instead seemingly heading straight home. It wasn’t until a few hours later that he had gotten a call from an unknown number. It was TK, asking to be bailed out of jail.

Carlos stood there, waiting for TK to exit the station. Carlos had to wonder why it was him who got the late night phone call. Yeah, of anyone on the team he was probably the closest to TK, even if it was just a culmination of their past and the fact that they were roommates on the road. He knew TK was close to Marjan. Why wasn’t she here instead?

A few minutes later, out strolled TK in a white t-shirt and black jeans, ice pack over his eye. When he saw Carlos, he let out a little groan when he noticed the quarterback waiting for him, leaning against his blue Camaro, arms crossed.

 TK couldn’t help but swoon the tiniest bit. Carlos was wearing a team-issued navy polo accentuating his muscles just right, paired with dark jeans and boots. It was an outfit that he just had to have thrown on suddenly after getting the call, but how did he still look so damn put together?

As TK walked closer to Carlos, he spoke first.

“Isn’t you being here like, a conflict of interest or something?” Yes, he had called Carlos, but he was hoping the man would have relayed the message to Marjan or something and she would have bailed him out.

“You called me, Strand,” Carlos replied with a chill to his voice as he opened the driver’s side door and got inside. “Get in.”

TK was taken aback by the coldness coming from Carlos, still doing as he said, walking around to the passenger seat and sliding into the Camaro.

“You were the only number I knew,” TK responded quietly, trying his hardest to match Carlos’s coldness. 

A tense silence fell over the car as Carlos started the engine, Carlos trying desperately to ignore the fact that of all the numbers in the world, Carlos’s was the one TK knew by heart even after all these years. 

“Where do you live?” Carlos prayed that it was close, not wanting to drive an hour across town to drop the man off.

“Turtle Creek and Lemmon,” TK murmured. 

Carlos felt his heart fall to his stomach. He, too, lived at Turtle Creek and Lemmon, which was luckily only about 20 minutes away. 

“Tall white building?” Carlos prayed for a different answer. 

“Yup,” TK replied, popping the ‘p’ at the end of the word.

Shit.

“We’re neighbors, then,” Carlos said quietly, focusing on the road. “402-A.”

“402-B.”

The silence filled the car as they both processed the news that they were not only stuck together as roommates for away games, but they were fucking next door neighbors. TK must have been the one who moved in next door.

Carlos finally broke.

“Want to explain why I’m picking you up from the DPD?”

TK exhaled with a soft whimper, shifting so he was sitting cross-legged in the passenger seat, head pressed against the window. If there was ever a time to open up to Carlos, this was it.

“Remember that one tackle tonight, during the 3rd quarter?”

Carlos nodded, remembering the Seahawks defensive end standing over TK for much longer than he was supposed to.

“He called me a fag.” 

The use of the word nearly made Carlos stop the car. His biggest fear of TK being an out NFL player was realized, and his team captain didn’t even protect him. He couldn’t protect him.

“W-Why didn’t you say anything? He could get suspended, or fined. Set an example moving forward.” 

“Because the team has just been so fucking welcoming and open,” TK scoffed. 

“I could have helped.” Carlos wasn’t lying, it was his duty as team captain. He could have gone over there, he could have told O’Brien or Grace.  “So in retaliation you…went to his hotel and…fought him?” Carlos was trying to figure out just why TK Strand was sitting next to him with a split lip and a black eye. 

TK looked down at his hands, knitting his fingers together in anxiety, letting the quiet blanket the air. 

“No…I…I went to a bar,” TK said, feeling Carlos stare into him. His addiction wasn’t a secret, but more people treated it as a rumor rather than fact. Of course Carlos figured out the truth.

 “N-not like that,” TK reassured him. “I blew a 0.0, it’s why they let me out. I just…” TK took a few more deep breaths, his voice shaking as he spoke to Carlos.

“Ever since I’ve gotten here, it’s just…gray. And I just feel numb, all the time.” TK glanced at Carlos again before turning his head towards the window. “I guess I just wanted to feel something.”

“So you started a bar fight?” Carlos asked. ”Judging by that lip I’d say mission accomplished.” 

“Better than the alternative,” TK replied in a clipped tone. He really didn’t need Carlos busting his balls at that moment, knowing that it was a miracle he wasn’t in some alley right now.

“Right.”

Carlos focused on the road, letting the stillness in the air between the men fill the conversations they didn’t need to have. Ten more minutes and he could be in his bed. 

“I’m sorry I went crazy on you a few years ago.” 

There it was. A conversation Carlos so desperately wanted. He wasn’t expecting to have it now, with a jailbird TK sitting in his passenger seat. He was hoping TK would have waited until they were in their hotel room in Minnesota or something. 

“I’m a professional athlete, I’m used to crazy.”

TK looked over at Carlos again, memorizing every line in his face. His jawline seemed more pronounced, like he was clenching his jaw, trying not to spew any type of vitriol towards TK. TK deserved it, honestly. He was a dick then, and he was being a dick now. 

“I didn’t transfer because of you, you know.” 

Carlos glanced over, quickly noticing the sad yet genuine look in TK’s eyes before looking back at the road, sending a slight nod in TK’s direction to let him know it was safe to continue. 

“I had just gone through a breakup, like nuclear bad. I proposed to him, he said no, he was actually in love with someone else.” TK let the sentence simmer in the car before he moved onto the next unfortunate part of his past. 

“Then, a few days later, after…that night between us, I found out my dad was sick. Like, really sick. So I–”

“You transferred to be closer to him,” Carlos finished the man’s sentence. “Rutgers is close to New York. TK, I’m so sorr–”

“I should be the one apologizing, Carlos,” TK replied. “I’ve been an asshole.” 

Carlos let out a soft giggle. “It’s not not true.”

Carlos’s giggle evoked a smile out of TK. “So can we just start over? Hi, I’m TK, and you’re Carlos.” 

Carlos smiled back at the man, his heart beating just slightly faster than usual. “Hi TK, I’m Carlos.”

After Carlos parked the car inside the garage of his ( their) apartment building, the silence overtook the car again, this time more comfortable, the tension disappearing as the air was cleared. Carlos was breathing easier knowing that he and TK could be on civil terms, maybe even friends. The quarterback felt a sense of trust towards his teammate that he hadn’t felt before.

 Maybe that’s why he blurted out his deepest secret. 

“I’m married.” Carlos was looking forward at the concrete wall in front of them, hands gripping the steering wheel of the Camaro so tight his knuckles were turning white. 

TK looked over at Carlos after his confession, nodding after taking a few seconds to process what was told to him.

“Is he okay that you’re not out?” TK wracked his brain to figure out if he had seen some tall, dark, and handsome type roaming around The Star during the public training camp days.

“To a woman.”

The confession made TK’s heart do a backflip, the organ pounding against his ribcage. I really did scare him straight, TK thought.

Carlos slowly let go of the steering wheel, turning towards TK to continue the story.

“We got married at 19, after the scouts started coming to my games. She’s my best friend. Figured it would help when I made it to pros,” Carlos chuckled. “Obviously, it didn’t. We couldn’t make it work, I’m not straight. We meant to get a divorce, but then she went missing.” Carlos thought about the deep breathing exercises Tommy had taught him to center himself during games. In for three. Hold for four. Out for five. 

“Her sister found her during the offseason. She has schizophrenia,” Carlos swallowed, trying to quell the lump in his throat. “She’s in a treatment center, doing really well, but we haven’t gotten divorced yet because–”

“She needs your insurance,” TK finished. Carlos wished he hadn’t felt the jolt of electricity rise up his spine when he realized he and TK could finish each other’s deepest thoughts so effortlessly. 

“Yeah.” 

The adrenaline coursing through Carlos’s veins was finally tapering off and he realized the gravity of what he just told TK, who was practically a stranger.

“Oh God, um, can you–can you no–”

TK laughed, taking Carlos’s hands in his, trying to ignore the warm feeling overtaking him from the mere touch of the other man. 

“Your secret’s safe with me, Carlos.”

Carlos grinned, trying not to show sadness after TK’s hands left his. He didn’t think anything of it, he really didn’t, but there was just something about TK’s hands in his that felt… right? Like a missing puzzle piece you find months after struggling so hard to finish that puzzle, turning your house inside out to find that one last piece.

Realizing the time, combined with the early practice tomorrow, the pair rode the elevator to their shared floor, an easy conversation flowing before they separated for their apartments.

Before they went their separate ways, Carlos asked a question he never thought he would. 

“Hey, do you wanna carpool to practice?” Carlos nervously ran his fingers through his curls, still unkempt from the busy late night. “Since we’re…both right here and all.” Carlos wasn’t expecting a positive answer from TK, so the words coming out of his mouth were a complete surprise.

“Yeah, that’d be great,” TK responded with a smile, his green eyes sparkling with an intensity Carlos had never seen before. “Meet here at 7?”

Carlos let out a small smile in TK’s direction. “Meet here at 7.”

In the final surprise of the night, TK enveloped Carlos in a hug, squeezing him tight before breaking free, another smile spread across his face.

“Thank you, Carlos,” TK said. “For everything, tonight.” 

“No problem.”

A few minutes later, Carlos was in his own apartment, laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling replaying the last hour of his life. Happy to have the air cleared with TK, happy to have a friend and confidante in the man. Why was his brain now telling him that he wanted so much more?

I am so, so, incredibly fucked. 

***

After getting home from the station, TK knew there was one person he could call, even if it was the middle of the night.

“TK?”

“Hey, Cooper.” 

“You good, man?” Cooper asked. They were friends, sure, but sponsee and sponsor first. If TK was calling him after midnight on a random Sunday morning, something had to be up.

“Yes…No?” TK started pacing his bedroom. “I got arrested.”

“Oh…TK…did you…”

“I’m fine, blew a 0.0,” TK replied, exhaling as he confided in his sponsor. “I was just feeling…a little self-destructive, I guess? And didn’t know what to do with it. So I started a bar fight.” 

There was silence at the end of the line before Cooper spoke again.

“Was there anything that happened to cause that? You guys won the game.”

TK stopped, sitting at the edge of his bed. “DE called me a fag.”

“Not anything you aren’t used to. What changed?” 

Cooper wasn’t wrong there. It wasn’t a secret at Rutgers that TK played for the other team, slurs being thrown at him left and right on the field, in the locker room, in class. Even in a ‘blue’ state like Jersey, he was still playing one of the (supposedly) most masculine sports out there. 

This time was different. He was laying on his back on a professional football field, a Seahawk standing over him after a tackle.

“Did the pretty boy fag get distracted by my charming good looks?” The man sneered at TK, spitting a little too close to TK’s helmet before walking away.

TK snapped back to reality and his phone call with Cooper. “I just…wanted to feel something.” And I don’t know where to score here. 

Cooper took a deep breath, trying to formulate the words TK needed. “Well, I’m proud of you for choosing an…alternate route. Have you found a meeting in town yet?”

TK scoffed. “I think my fame level is a little bit past ‘anonymous’ at this point, Coop.” He’d attended meetings the past seventeen months with Cooper, being able to skate by since college football wasn’t as closely watched as the NFL. Now, with every sports website and channel in existence spouting the pros and cons of TK Strand in the major leagues, it was a little hard to slip into a dingy church basement twice a week.

“I’m sure you’ll find something.” 

TK rolled his eyes. There was Cooper, always the optimist, always trying to find a solution.

“Who bailed you out?” Cooper asked.

“Carlos.”

Cooper had baseline knowledge about Carlos, TK confessing about their past when he was drafted to the Cowboys. 

“And how did that go?”

TK exhaled, the corners of his mouth curling up into a grin as he thought about the progress the pair had made on their friendship, trying his hardest to push down the butterflies taking root in his stomach.

“Really well, actually. Cleared the air. We’re friends now, I guess? And it turns out we’re next door neighbors. Gonna start carpooling.” TK left out the part about how it felt to hold Carlos’s hands in his, to hold him close in an entirely platonic “thank you for bailing me out of jail” hug. 

“I can hear you smiling through the phone, dude. What else happened?” It was then TK remembered just why Cooper had been his sponsor for so long, because he just got TK.

“I don’t know, it was …nice. The conversation we had.” Thinking about the conversation in the short drive to their apartment building also had TK thinking about Carlos’s lips, and how perfectly pink and curved they were. TK wondered if they were still pleasant to kiss. 

“Are there feelings involved?”

TK quickly went back to his conversation and shook his head, responding to Cooper, lying to Cooper. 

“No, absolutely not. I can’t do that to him, or our team,” TK said. Or myself. 

“Alright, well keep me updated, okay? You’re doing great work both on and off the field.”

TK smiled, grateful for the man’s presence in his life. “Thanks, man. I’ll try to score you a couple tickets to the Giants game in a few weeks. Can’t promise we can meet up but it’s the least I can do.”

“Don’t mention it, TK. Stay safe out there.”

As TK hung up the phone, he threw himself back on the bed, staring at the ceiling, trying so fucking desperately to stop thinking about Carlos’s lips and how the muscles on his back flexed when TK went in for that hug. 

He was fucked, wasn’t he?

***

Carlos loved Tuesday night dinners at Grace and Judd’s.

With Tuesday free of practice, and Wednesdays being walkthroughs, Carlos, Tommy, Grace, and Judd started a tradition of Tuesday night dinners, filled with laughter, bourbon, and some of the best cooking imaginable, the group taking turns with who brought what. This time was Grace and Judd’s, Judd spending most of the day perfecting a brisket, while Grace provided the sides: green beans, mac and cheese, and potato salad.

As the group sat down at the dinner table, Judd raised his glass as he looked out at his friends. 

“To the season ahead,” Judd said, voice booming. “Let’s try to bring home the Lombardi, shall we?”

The four of them cheered, clinking glasses together before Grace spoke up.

“This is going to be a very special season for us, because…” Grace shot a warm smile at her husband, who returned it tenfold. “I’m pregnant.”

Carlos and Tommy erupted in cheers, each getting up from the table to wrap her in a hug.

“You leaving us before the playoffs?” Carlos teased.

Grace grinned back at him, lightly rubbing her stomach. “Due in mid-March, so I’ll be there through it all, even if I have to be miserable the whole time.”

“Best tell the rest of the offense to be on their best behavior, Reyes,” Judd said before wrapping his arms around his wife. “I don’t want no one upsetting my girl.” 

Carlos sent a nod his way, grinning towards the couple. “I’ll try my best. I’m really happy for you both.”

Judd beamed, putting his hand on Grace’s stomach before speaking. “You’re looking at the Cowboy’s next quarterback. Better watch out, Carlos!”

The table exploded in laughter. “Nice to know I have about twenty years of job security before that,” Carlos joked before throwing a wink at Grace.

After hours of conversation, the group was splayed out across the back porch of the Ryder residence, enjoying the unseasonably chill late August air. 

Tommy permeated the silence with a question.

“How’s Strand doing? I talked to him a few days ago but he’s been quiet since.” Tommy specifically looked at Judd and Carlos with the question, as if it was a trap set by her and Grace. It wouldn't be the first time that happened. 

Carlos froze in place, wanting to answer, wanting to defend TK, but simultaneously wanting to keep quiet and  try not to accidentally confess whatever feelings he had for the running back under the influence of just a little too much red wine.  Judd got to it before he could.

“The boy can play but man, does he need an attitude adjustment,” Judd replied, adjusting in his seat next to Grace before taking a sip of his beer. 

“He’s getting better,” Carlos spoke up. It wasn’t a lie. Even in the two times they had carpooled this week their friendship had strengthened just a bit. Conversation flowed easily during the hour round trip from Frisco and back, jokes were had, and even in the few moments there was silence, it wasn’t awkward, it was just comfortable, like they were meant to just be sitting in the Camaro together. There was a fleeting instance where Carlos fought the impulse to grab TK’s hand and intertwine their fingers together, gaze into those crystal clear green eyes of TK’s and never look back. Carlos hated how this little crush made him feel. He couldn’t fall for a teammate. He couldn’t fall for TK.

Judd smirked. “Yeah, I’ve noticed y’all showing up and leaving practice together,” punctuating his sentence with another sip from his beer bottle. “What, y’all meet up in the parking lot every day? Does he need his emotional support QB?”

Carlos felt himself tense up. He loved Judd, he loved how safe he could feel having his and Grace’s support, but sometimes he just wished Judd would shut up.

“Turns out we live in the same area,” Carlos shrugged, not ready to disclose just how close he meant by that.  “So we decided to start carpooling. You should give him a chance, Judd. Let him open up, he’s a great guy.”

“So the two of you got all your shit worked out from all those years ago in Longhorn country?”

Carlos nodded, not ready to divulge any details. “Like I said, give him another shot. He’ll surprise you.”

Judd smirked again, a mischievous twinkle in his eye, like he knew there was more to the story. “Alright, if you insist.”

Chapter Text

Carlos could tell TK all he wanted that the loss against the Buccaneers wasn’t his fault, but TK knew he’d be able to see through whatever bullshit Carlos wanted to use to make TK feel better about the colossal failure of their first regular season game, their home opener. JerryWorld during the opening game of the season was a sacred place for Cowboys fans, and TK had fucked it all up.  The last quarter of the game resulted in fumble after fumble, usually in TK’s hands. After looking at the absolutely fucking embarrassing score of 19-3 on the Jumbotron as he left the field for the last time that game, TK wished the astroturf covering the field would open up and swallow him whole.

If this was a few weeks ago, TK could gladly fuck off, skip a shower, Uber back home, and stay holed up in his empty apartment until practice the next day, still taking every effort to avoid his teammates.

 TK could still do that, he figures, but he was done actively trying to be an asshole, at least for the time being. Practices that week had been some of the best he’d experienced in his life, and he finally felt himself meshing with the team more, talking to them about more than just what they were doing on the field. He also felt compelled to stay and wait for Carlos, riding back with him, keeping conversations in the car nonexistent before slipping into his apartment and calling Cooper. As much as he didn’t want to talk to Carlos, there was something comforting about the other man’s presence, a warm blanket disguised as a muscular, curly-haired, brown-eyed quarterback. It absolutely infuriated TK, and it was impossible to ignore these feelings, but maybe the short drive back home would calm him down, even if they sat in silence. 

Of course, that silence only lasted until about ten minutes into the drive back.

“We were up against Tom Brady, of all people…” Carlos said, voice trailing off. “Not your fault. We’ve never won against a team with him as quarterback.”

TK, who was pressed up against the passenger seat window, looked over at Carlos with a glare. 

“Who gives a fuck about Tom Brady, Carlos?” He said this as someone who spent their childhood surrounded by a combination of Giants and Jets fans, but also knowing that the famed quarterback had nothing to do with how much TK had failed the team that night.

Carlos tightened his grip on the steering wheel. After all the progress made in the last few weeks, were they really back to this?

“A lot of people, TK,” Carlos responded calmly. “I thought I would try to make you feel better that you were up against one of the most decorated QBs in modern history during your first regular season game, and that losses happen. What the hell is your problem?”

TK took three deep breaths, reminding himself he was trying to leave Asshole TK behind, even when there was that pit in his stomach and the screaming in his brain telling him that he would never be good enough. That it was best to just close himself off to the world to avoid hurting himself, or anyone else. 

TK played with the medallion around his neck, wrapping and unwrapping the chain around his fingers before holding the pendant dangling from it. He ran his fingers over it, tracing the 252 over and over and over again. 

“Do you know what today is, Carlos?”

Carlos quickly pulled up his mental calendar, pinpointing the exact day as…

September 11th.

TK’s mood suddenly made sense. He knew the basic facts of TK’s connection to the tragic day in history, as his father was branded as one of many heroes that appeared that day. There was a sense of trauma that blanketed the entire country from that fateful Tuesday morning onward, but Carlos knew that TK was experiencing it tenfold, doubling down as a New York City native and the son of an NYFD firefighter.

“Thinking about your dad?” Carlos asked. 

TK let out a soft smile, still twirling the chain around his neck.

“Yeah. I just…” TK looked down at the medallion, making it just visible enough so Carlos could see it as he looked over before putting his eyes back on the road. “This was his. Station 252. After 9/11 he rebuilt it from the ground up. I was hoping to make him proud tonight. Wherever he is.”

Carlos smiled, resisting the urge to reach his hand across the car’s console to give TK a reassuring squeeze of his knee. “I’m sure he is.”

After a few quiet moments between them, TK looked over at Carlos before speaking again. 

“Did you know my jersey number has been 52 my entire life, until now?”

Carlos nodded, almost wishing he didn’t, as it showed that he’d never stopped following TK’s trajectory after that fateful night in Austin. 252…52… it made sense why TK was so attached to the number.

“Getting reassigned as number 26 just…a punch in the face after everything. Made me feel like I was going to start forgetting him.” 

Carlos could tell TK was holding back tears, but didn’t interrupt him as the man let out what he needed to. 

“You know, he died three years ago next month. But in reality, he died when those towers came down.” TK exhaled. He hadn’t said that out loud in years. Sure, his dad eventually showed back up in his life, but those early childhood years with his father in and out because of the horrific trauma he endured was something that would stay with him his entire life. He understood it eventually, after years of therapy and talks with his dad, but it was something etched into the fabric of who he was, something he would never forget.

Carlos nodded, feeling a pang of sadness as he glanced at TK, who had settled back into position looking out the window at the Dallas skyline. 

“He’ll always be with you, TK. So will she.” He didn’t know if adding in the sting of losing his mother would help at all, but he didn’t want her to be forgotten either.

TK grinned towards Carlos, feeling the tears he was holding back finally fall. He just felt so…safe with the man.

“Thank you.”

Silence followed them the rest of the way home and Carlos parked in his assigned spot, but something in the back of his head didn’t want their night to end then and there.

“Do you want to…come to my place and watch a movie, or something?” Carlos blurted out, taking TK by surprise. 

Carlos blushed as he waited for TK’s answer, rambling nervously in the meantime. “I mean, if you want to. Figured you could use a friend, some company. Practice starts late tomorrow and it’s just going to be O’Brien yelling at us and replaying tonight’s game tapes, so–

“I’d love to,” TK flourished the sentence with a smile. “Plus, it’ll give me a chance to snoop and see how a real Dallas Cowboy is supposed to live,” TK joked. 

Carlos smiled back, breathing easy for the first time in what felt like weeks. “Let’s go then.”

They made it up to Carlos’s apartment, TK looking around at the sleek, dark interior and art adorning the walls. This is what a ‘grown-up’ apartment looked like to TK. A home decorated by someone who lives there and loves it and knows what they like, not hastily thrown together by a team of interior designers who barely knew the client they were designing for. 

“This is really nice,” TK broke the silence with a soft voice. 

Carlos shrugged, throwing a quick smile TK’s way. “It’s not much, but it’s home. Can I get you a water?”

“Sure,” TK replied, hesitantly taking a seat on the large leather sectional situated in the massive living room. The layout was similar to TK’s apartment but it somehow felt cozier and lived-in. He loved it, and that crush he kept trying to push down as much as he could rose to the surface, hoping he’d be spending a lot more time in this apartment in the weeks to come. 

The pair settled in on opposite sides of the couch before Carlos started his ultimate comfort movie.

“ Silver Linings Playbook? What, are you a secret Eagles fan or something?” TK asked, feigning horror. The rivalry between the Philadelphia Eagles and the Dallas Cowboys was decades long and filled with strife.

Carlos looked over at TK, blushing as their eyes met.

“Yeah it’s…it’s a comfort movie for me, I guess. Even if it revolves around our rivals and they beat the Cowboys at the end.” The only person on the team that knew the Philadelphia-centered dramedy was one of Carlos’s favorite movies was Grace, who was sworn to such secrecy about it–even Judd didn’t know. Carlos knew if Judd found out, he would never live it down. 

“Me too,” TK whispered softly. It was nice to have a teammate whose favorite movie wasn’t Remember the Titans or Rudy.

As the movie went on, TK and Carlos got more comfortable with each other, TK eventually stretching out across the couch, so close that his hair was brushing up against Carlos’s thigh, making it near impossible for Carlos to focus on the movie. 

Towards the end of the movie, Carlos looked down to see TK fast asleep, snoring softly with his head pressed up even further against Carlos’s thigh. The man froze, not sure if he should wake him up or let him keep sleeping. Against all better judgment, he slowly reached down, threading his fingers through TK’s hair as he slept, flinching slightly when TK seemed to stir, but continuing when the man leaned into the touch. Carlos swore he saw a sleepy smile spread across TK’s face, but chalked it up to his imagination instead.

Carlos gently removed his hand from TK’s tousled hair, pulling out his phone to text Michelle as he processed what was happening. He’d called her the morning after picking TK up from the police station, explaining that it was near impossible to avoid TK now, and that these feelings might be a full-blown crush.

Carlos Reyes: TK is on my couch right now, asleep

Michelle Blake: ????

Carlos Reyes: He needed a friend. Invited him over to watch a movie. 

Michelle Blake: You pulled out that fuckass Bradley Cooper Eagles movie, didn’t you 😉 Classic Carlos move. You’re smitten.

Carlos Reyes: It’s a comfort movie! He needed comfort! Sue me! 

Michelle Blake: Gonna wake him up and tell him to go home?

Carlos Reyes: Yes 

Carlos Reyes: No

Carlos Reyes:  I don’t know, Chelle. 😵💫 He looks so peaceful. Like he hasn’t slept in years.

Michelle Blake: Just leave him be and update me in the morning 😉 

Michelle Blake: Sweet dreams to the both of you 😜

Carlos Reyes: 🙄♥️

Carlos did as he was told, gingerly removing himself from the couch, watching TK stir with the sudden change next to him, but still not fully waking up. He took the blanket from the back of the couch and unfolded it, placing it gently over TK. Carlos gently turned off the light and disappeared into his bedroom, wondering if he’d see TK on the couch in the morning. Honestly? He hoped he would.

***

TK woke up in a panic once he realized he was on an unfamiliar couch in an unfamiliar apartment. After a few seconds, it all came back to him: the game, the moment with Carlos in the car, going back to his apartment, the movie…TK guessed he had fallen asleep at one point because there wouldn’t be any other reason as to why he was still on the couch. 

TK partially remembers feeling the scrape of fingernails through his hair at some point, and how good it felt, nearly too good to be real. Must have been a dream. As he noticed the blanket covering him, he soon realized it wasn’t.

Checking the time on his phone, he saw 7:14am shouting back at him. Remembering he had an appointment with Nancy at 8, he looked around the apartment once for any sign of Carlos before slipping out and calling an Uber, shooting Carlos a quick text before heading downstairs.

TK Strand: Forgot I had an appointment, don’t wait for me 

TK hesitated for a minute wondering if he should send a follow-up text, thinking about thanking Carlos for being there for him, for not kicking him out the minute he closed his eyes. For playing with his hair? Instead, he kept it in, knowing that if he were to speak more than two words to the man right now he may end up barging back into Carlos’s apartment, pressing the man against the wall and showing him what he’s learned in the past few years since the last time they hooked up. 

***

TK wandered into the PT room, a tall woman with a big smile waving him over to a massage table in the corner of the room.

“Hey, I’m Nancy,” the woman greeted TK with an even bigger smile. “You must be TK.”

TK smiled back, feeling the good vibes from Nancy already. “That definitely is me.”

“Hop on up and lay back.”

TK did as he was told, laying on his back as Nancy gave him a once-over.

“Just the left knee? Anything else hurting?”

“Nope, just the knee. ACL tear a few years ago.”

Nancy nodded. “Common with running backs. Happy it didn’t affect you too much.”

“Yeah.” TK wasn’t much for conversation this early in the morning and didn’t want to discuss how much the injury actually took from him, especially as he processed last night. Carlos’s kindness, their shared love of the same movie… the possibility of those hands in TK’s hair being real… maybe TK did have a crush.

“How are you liking Dallas?” Nancy asked, making small talk as she bent TK’s knee, testing for range of motion.

“It’s fine. Haven’t seen much besides here, the stadium, and my apartment.” TK closed his eyes as Nancy stretched his knee in a way that sent an unpleasant shockwave up his left leg. “Cool coffee shop near my apartment, but that’s about it.”

“Dallas is pretty cool. I’m from Austin, the vibes are kind of different here, but it’s nice.”

TK laughed. “Who isn’t from Austin around here?”

“Well, you, for starters,” Nancy rolled her eyes. “Strickland is from Chicago. Chavez is from Mexico, originally, but grew up in Pflugerville. So technically not from Austin.”

“Learning more about my teammates every day, thank you.”

Nancy smiled down at the man, stretching his leg back out. “Making any friends?”

TK’s heart leapt into his throat. 

“Um, yeah, I-I guess one,” TK stuttered out. “Reyes and I carpool together, so I guess that makes us friends. We’ve hung out…once or twice. Turns out we live in the same apartment building.”

“You do?” One of Nancy’s eyebrows went up as she set TK’s leg down, starting to massage it from the ankle up. “That’s nice.” 

“Yeah it’s…it’s been nice.” 

Nancy looked around, making sure there was absolutely no one in earshot, even if it was too early for most of the team to be in the area.

“I’ve been seeing Mateo,” she confessed. “Still super new, but we have fun,” finishing her sentence with a little smile. 

TK grinned back, moving around as the woman worked her way up to massaging his knee. “Mateo seems cool. Hell of a player. Happy for you.”

“Thanks,” Nancy replied, motioning for TK to sit up, which he did, coming eye to eye with Nancy, who had a sly grin on her face. 

“Carlos is a really nice guy. I’ve known him since we were in college.” 

“You went to UT, too?” 

Nancy nodded. “Transferred from UNC-Greensboro right after you left,” she mentioned, going back to TK’s left knee and bending it. “Missed home too much.” Nancy paused. “Carlos deserves good things, you know?” 

“Sure he does.” TK wasn’t sure where she was going with this. He was careful to not mention anything about their past, about last night, just because he didn’t want to accidentally out the man. 

Nancy shot TK a look, like she knew more than he knew. “Just saying.” She motioned for TK to get back down and lay on his stomach, stretching his left knee out again. “This feel better?”

TK smiled to himself. “Really good, actually. Thank you.” 

“Don’t mention it,” she said, tapping TK that he was safe to turn back over. “Let’s do this again next week, hmm?”

“Sounds like a plan.” 

“Good to meet you, TK,” Nancy gave him a kind smile. “Keep me updated on your…friendships.”

TK felt himself turn an embarrassing shade of red as he sputtered out a response.

 “Y-y-ours too.”

***

TK stayed around the Star until their 12pm practice, cursing himself for living in Dallas the past two months without even thinking about buying a car. He’d spent the majority of his life living in walkable cities, but now it was a struggle to find a grocery store that wasn’t 5 miles away by car. Fucking Texas. Then again, Instacart was a thing, and he didn’t want to fully get rid of his rides with Carlos.

TK was the first one seated in the theater-like room where they spent every Monday going over the game from the week before, reviewing plays and fine tuning where it was needed. He took a seat in the back corner, far from Carlos’s normal spot of front and center. As the team trickled in, TK wanted to punch himself for looking up every time, hoping he would see Carlos. I should not even entertain this option. He is my teammate. This affects more than just myself.

On the thirtieth (pathetic) try of looking up as someone entered the room, TK locked eyes with Carlos as he walked in, Carlos giving him a slight nod before taking his seat in the front. After that, TK barely paid attention to the coaching staff as they went over their miserable game from yesterday, barely registering when O’Brien was speaking to him or referring to the offense. As soon as the meeting was over, TK slipped into the weight room, planning on staying until Carlos left before sneaking back to his apartment via Uber. 

After thirty minutes of intense weight training, Carlos wandered in, making a beeline towards TK.

“You coming with me?”

TK looked up to Carlos, shrugging. “Gonna stay here for a bit longer, get some more training in. No need to wait for me.”

Carlos looked around, as if he was making sure the room was empty before speaking to TK again.

“I have to ask, TK,” Carlos said as he sat down on the bench across from him, “Are we good?”

TK shrugged. “Why wouldn’t we be?”

Carlos shrugged back, an awkward smile on his face. “Last night felt like a lot.” It wasn’t a lot, he didn’t think, it felt like a step forward for their friendship, but TK did open up to him in a way he probably hadn’t opened up to anyone in years. 

TK let out a cackle, not expecting for it to sound so cruel. “I was sad and fell asleep on your couch during a movie. Wasn’t exactly a marriage proposal, Carlos.” 

TK unexpectedly throwing those words at him so lightly after the confessions they had confided to each other made Carlos take a step back. The man slowly got off of the bench he was sitting on, breathing deep before he calmly responded to TK.

“I will leave you to it then. Just …text me if you want a ride this week, I guess.” Carlos left the weight room, leaving TK to his own devices.

As soon as he figured Carlos was out of ear shot, TK threw himself back onto the weight bench, scrubbing his eyes over his face, yelling into the void and hoping no one was around to hear him. There was no reason for him to act like that. He could have been nicer, for fuck’s sake!! Why was his reaction always to push away? 

“FUCK!”

***

There were games like last week, where nothing felt like it was going right and it was a total loss from the start. Then, there were games like this, nail-biters where there were minutes to go and the score was tied. After four periods of back and forth, Dallas had forced a punt out of Cincinnati, leading a drive that put the ball into field goal range with eight seconds to go, the score 17-17.  Carlos watched as Mateo lined up, implementing a near perfect kick that sailed through the goal post, falling to his knees as the crowd roared and the scoreboard read 20-17, FINAL.

A win always felt good, but there was something special about the first regular win of the season, knowing that their rocky start didn’t have to write the story of their record this year. The locker room felt light and airy, chatter all around and cheers for Mateo and TK, who had scored that second touchdown in the first quarter that helped them secure their victory. TK looked like he was reveling in it, like he was starting to find his groove on the field and with the team, even with Carlos.

The pair had resumed their carpooling activities on Thursday, a tension still in the air still surrounding them, though TK had seemingly pushed through it and proceeded like nothing was wrong. Carlos followed suit. If TK didn’t think anything was wrong, maybe there wasn’t. 

Carlos had left the locker room long before TK, waiting for the man just outside the players entrance. As TK walked out of the locker room, he saw Carlos in the distance kneeling down so he was at eye-level with a young boy in an oversized #18 jersey. There was a smile on both their faces, Carlos talking to the boy animatedly before signing the fan’s jersey, shaking the hand of the adult with him, and watching as they went on their way.

Witnessing this, even from afar, made TK’s heart pound in his chest, an unintentional grin spreading across his face as Carlos noticed TK coming his way, waving to him. Now that they were face-to-face, TK got a closer look at him, noticing his curls taking a mind of their own after being freed from hours underneath a helmet, the corners of his mouth curling up in a warm smile.

It drove TK mad. 

It took every ounce of strength that TK had left on the ride home to not reach across and grab Carlos and shove his tongue down his throat, repeating history from years before he swore not to repeat. Instead, he kept quiet, scrolling through his phone as the awkward silence filled the Camaro.

The silence followed them as Carlos parked at their apartment building, both of them riding the elevator together before arriving at their floor, about to go their separate ways. As Carlos waved goodbye to TK, about to open the front door to his apartment, TK couldn’t take it anymore, needing to act on his impulses once and for all. He swiftly walked over, pressing Carlos up against the door of his apartment. 

Without a word, TK lifted his hand and gently caressed Carlos' cheek, their skin touching even in the slightest of ways sending shocks down TK’s spine. He watched Carlos lean into the touch, closing his eyes and savoring the warmth that radiated from TK's hand. 

Their lips met in a harsh kiss, teeth pushing against each other and their breath mingling as the world around them faded away. TK’s heart soared as he felt Carlos’ lips moving against his own, their mouths fitting together so perfectly, like they were made for each other. TK doesn’t remember feeling like this during his time in Austin.

The kiss deepened as TK's hands slid around Carlos' waist, pulling him closer, as if he couldn't get enough of him. Carlos eagerly reciprocated, his arms encircling TK's neck, their bodies pressed tightly together. Time seemed to stand still as the kiss continued, tongues dancing with each other. 

Suddenly, TK stopped, stumbling away from Carlos and silently unlocking and entering his apartment, shutting the door and locking it with a thunk that echoed through the hallway as Carlos stayed leaning up against his front door, processing the last few minutes. 

***

Eventually, Carlos made it inside his home, stumbling through his bedroom and throwing himself back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. 

What. The. Fuck.

Carlos replayed the kiss over and over in his head, still feeling TK’s hips pressed against his, the way his tongue moved throughout his mouth, the sparks flying behind his eyes. It was like nothing he had ever experienced. It was the only thing he ever wanted to experience from now on. Judging from TK’s sudden departure, Carlos had to assume that it wasn’t going to happen again anytime soon. 

In his daze, he dialed Michelle, who picked up on the first ring.

“Quiet night?” he asked. Judging from the chatter in the background, Carlos assumed she was on shift.

“Don’t say that!” Michelle exclaimed, shushing him. “You’ll curse us.”

“That stuff isn’t real.” 

“Says someone who has had one job in his life, and that job is to wear tight pants and throw a weird shaped ball.” 

Carlos rolled his eyes. “I called because I have an interesting update on my personal life for you, but I can just go if you want me to,” he replied sarcastically.

“I’ll be nice, I promise!” Michelle pleaded. “Did he make it to your bed that night?”

“No, but things have been…weird.”

“Doesn’t it always get weird?”

Carlos scoffed, “No, Michelle, it doesn’t always get weird.” Of course, he wouldn’t know. He’d barely been involved with anyone romantically since signing to the Cowboys.  

“So what happened?”

Carlos took a deep breath, still processing what had happened only twenty minutes before. “We kissed. He…kissed me.” 

Michelle gasped, Carlos hearing the grin spreading across her face from hours away.

“When?”

“Like…ten minutes ago?”

“How was it?”

Carlos cleared his throat, mouth forming a little smile before answering Michelle’s question. “It was …everything, actually,” Carlos said quietly. “Incredible.” 

It’s not like he hadn’t kissed TK before, but this felt more personal. They were friends at this point, sharing more than just random hookups in storage closets. 

“What happened after?” Michelle pressed, wanting every single detail.

“He…ran back into his apartment.” 

“He didn’t say anything?”

“No.” 

Michelle sighed, letting the line go quiet for a few seconds.

“Well, I think the only thing you can do is talk to him about it. You’re big boys, you can communicate, you know,” she teased.

Carlos groaned, already knowing TK’s reaction if he tried to speak to the man about it. He could picture the man running away from him as soon as any words left the quarterback’s mouth, being an asshole or maybe even saying the kiss didn’t even happen. TK was still so hard to read at times. Was it too late in the season for Carlos to be traded?

“We can, I guess. I’ll keep you updated?”

“Sounds goo–” Michelle was cut off by sirens in the background, alerting her that she was needed elsewhere. 

“Talk later, Carlos!” Michelle quickly replied before hanging up, leaving Carlos alone to spiral about that night’s events. 

After a few minutes, Carlos opened his text thread with TK, deciding to be the bigger person. 

Carlos Reyes: Can we talk tomorrow?

He never got a response. 

***

It had been three days since TK’s decision to kiss ( attack?) Carlos in the space between their apartments, running away like some scared little fawn after realizing what he had done. Now he was living in the aftermath, leaving for practice at the crack of dawn in order to avoid Carlos, cowering in the PT room or in Marjan’s office until he was certain that blue Camaro was off the property. At least this provided an opportunity for him to get to know Nancy better. 

He knew he should answer Carlos’s texts, speak to him more than just during plays on the field and clear the air, but TK couldn’t even figure out his own feelings right now. He was terrified that if he were to be alone, face-to-face with Carlos again, he’d repeat his actions. He couldn’t stop thinking about how good it felt for their lips to press together and the warmth he felt all over his body as they were pressed against one another. It was something he had never experienced before, not with Alex, not with anyone. But this was his closeted teammate, and his rookie season. He couldn’t make waves so quickly. The best thing he could do in the meantime as he let these feelings die down is to just avoid Carlos. He even thought about looking at other apartment buildings for a hot minute, realizing that moving might be overkill. 

Unfortunately, on Thursday, TK’s luck had run out, running smack dab into Carlos in the hallway, the quarterback pulling him into the first open door he found, which happened to be a storage closet.

“Old time’s sake?” TK smirked, recalling the last time he was in a closet with Carlos. Overcompensating with sarcasm was TK’s tried and true coping mechanism. 

Carlos rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and leaning against the door so TK couldn’t leave. 

“Can we talk?”

TK shrugged, crossing his own arms. “We can.” He knew he shouldn’t be so coy and cheeky but messing with Carlos was so fun sometimes, he couldn’t help it. 

Carlos sighed, running his hands through his curls in frustration, TK feeling heat pool in his stomach watching him do so. He knew he should take this seriously but looking at Carlos made TK want to act anything but serious.

“We gonna talk about what happened after the game on Sunday?”

TK stared straight at Carlos, taking a deep breath before adjusting his arms, resting his hands on his hips. He could continue being dry, avoiding the elephant in the storage closet, but Carlos didn’t deserve that. It would also help if they were on better speaking terms before the away game in New York this weekend. 

TK sat down on one of the discarded weight benches in the room with them, motioning for Carlos to sit down next to him, which he did. TK tried his hardest to ignore the warmth pooling in his stomach when the man’s knee knocked against his.

“I’m sorry for…mauling you?” TK scratched behind his ear nervously, knowing that there wasn’t really a better way to describe it. He let out a nervous chuckle before he continued.

“I don’t know what got over me but –”

Carlos laughed, placing a hand on TK’s shoulder, the laughter soon disappearing as TK flinched at the man’s touch. He watched as Carlos straightened his posture, a more serious look appearing on his face as his brown eyes stared directly into TK’s green ones.

“It’s fine, TK. Promise. I didn’t think of it as a ‘mauling’,” Carlos said, putting air quotes around the word. “But how do we move forward from this?”

“Honestly, Carlos? I don’t know,” TK sighed, holding his hands in his head, speaking to the ground at this point. It was easier than looking directly into Carlos’s eyes, knowing it would absolutely wreck him. “That night on your couch, that kiss…it was…it was everything to me. I’ve never felt like that before. It’s not something I can just forget.”

Carlos looked down at him, a soft smile on his face. “Me too.” 

TK exhaled, positioning himself so he was eye-to-eye with Carlos, so close to him it was almost a tease to both men. “You know we can’t do this. It would be hell…for us, for our families, our team…” TK knit his fingers together, a nervous habit he hadn’t exercised in years. “You. It’s…it’s for the best.” 

Carlos’s face fell. “I know,” he whispered, standing up and heading towards the door.

“I’m sorry, Carlos,” TK whispered.

Carlos turned around, shrugging sadly as he looked at the other man. “Wrong place, wrong time. If it’s not meant to be it’s not meant to be.” He took a deep breath before smiling again. “Friends, though? I-35 traffic has been hell without you this week.”

TK smiled, the grin spreading across Carlos’s face calming the ache in his chest. “Friends. Thank God, because I’m afraid I’m about to spend my entire signing bonus on Ubers.” 

“And whose fault is that?” Carlos teased. 

The pair waited until they were sure the coast was clear before they filed out of the closet together. 

Carlos’s words rang through TK’s head the rest of the day.

If it’s not meant to be, it’s not meant to be.

TK couldn’t help but think, 

“But what if it was?”

***

MetLife Stadium.

Walking out onto this field was the one thing TK had been dreaming about his entire life.

Now, here he was, walking out onto the field in East Rutherford, playing for one of the Giants's biggest rivals. It didn’t matter that the crowd wasn’t as loud as it was in his dreams, or that he was playing for a team located fifteen hundred miles away, he was home. He couldn’t see specific faces in the crowd that surrounded him, but knew that his stepdad and little brother were somewhere out there cheering him on in their #26 STRAND jerseys that Enzo had bought the pair as soon as he got the news that TK was signed to the Cowboys. Playing at ‘home’ that wasn’t really ‘home’ hurt, especially knowing how many of his teammates were from Texas and had family in the stands cheering them on. Now, it was TK’s turn.

By halftime, Dallas was up 6-3, with a handful of missed opportunities to further their lead. CeeDee had uncharacteristically dropped a catch that could have been a touchdown, something that plagued the man as they sat in the locker room at halftime, the room silent as O’Brien went through plays they should run in the second half to ensure victory. 

As the third quarter started, the Giants took off almost immediately, scoring on their first two drives, including a touchdown that catapulted them into the lead. TK tried to keep his emotions locked down, knowing that winning in his hometown would do wonders for his mental health. He channeled those feelings into the game, almost immediately scoring a touchdown when the Cowboys got possession. His smile felt contagious as it was broadcast across the stadium’s Jumbotrons, and it was almost as if he could feel his mother and father cheering him on in the stands.

With a 16-13 lead, it came down to the last drive of the game, Carlos and TK working effortlessly to widen the gap, their conversation days before left in the past and off the field. In the final minutes, Carlos nodded at TK, throwing the ball towards the end zone as TK successfully caught one-handed, resulting in a touchdown he knew would be on ESPN’s highlight reels for the next week. 

It was something TK never thought he would be so happy to see on a screen at MetLife.

GIANTS: 16 COWBOYS: 23 FINAL

If you had told him even a year prior that a Giants loss would cause him this much joy, he’d accuse you of lying. 

The MetLife Stadium visitor’s locker room was a joyous affair, teammates planning to make the most of the few hours they had in the Big Apple.

“Yo, Strand, you coming with?” Paul asked, throwing a towel in TK’s direction. “This is your neck of the woods, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, you must know the best clubs!” Mateo exclaimed. 

TK smiled, throwing the towel back in Paul’s direction as he stripped off his jersey and changed into a shirt and jeans. “Nah, you guys have fun. Meeting up with family.” Enzo and Jonah were waiting outside the player’s entrance for him, ready to go to a nearby diner that was frequented during TK’s youth after a Giants game.

Mateo shrugged, a grin on his face. “Suit yourself.” 

Carlos wandered out of the showers at that time, making his way to his cubby, which was next to TK’s. 

“Good game.” 

TK looked over, smiling at his friend. “You too.” TK looked around at his teammates, who were all almost ready to leave. “You going out tonight?”

Carlos smiled before shaking his head. “Just going back to the hotel. Might take a walk or something, I’m just…not the clubbing type,” Carlos shrugged, initiating another smile from TK. “See you later?” 

TK nodded. “See you later.”

***

A surprise to them both, Carlos and TK ended up in the hotel lobby at the same time.

Carlos nodded towards TK as they rode the elevator to their sixth-floor room. “Dinner okay?”

TK smiled, swaying a bit as he reminisced on the diner he visited with Enzo and Jonah. It was exactly the same as he remembered, with good company and even better food. “Yeah, it was.”

“Good to see your family?”

TK nodded. “Yeah…I miss them, you know? Especially since they’re…what I have left.” TK had no one left on his mother’s side besides Enzo and Jonah, and found out about some distant California family he had on his father’s side right before Owen died, but if they weren’t reaching out, why should he? 

The confession made Carlos’s heart break just a bit. “I think that’s one of my favorite parts about the team. After a while, it’s just a built-in family.” 

TK swallowed, trying to minimize the lump in his throat that was forming. “Yeah, you’re right,” the lump quickly replaced by a smile. It had taken some time, but he could definitely see the team becoming family by the end of the season, if not before then. 

As the conversation petered out, TK got a closer look at Carlos, something he’d been trying to avoid all week. His side profile was to fucking die for, all chisled jaw with the slightest bit of stubble. The man hadn’t put in any product after his post-game shower, leaving his dark hair unruly, the lack of product almost doubling the amount of curls that TK saw on a normal day. TK had been pretty good at controlling his feelings towards Carlos the past few days, but enough was enough, this man was irresistible.

One away game hookup couldn’t hurt–right?

As Carlos opened the door to their room, TK took the opportunity to repeat that kiss from earlier in the week, shoving Carlos up against the now-closed door to their hotel room and harshly pressing his lips against his own, grinding their hips together in rhythm as he started to peel off Carlos’s jacket.

“TK,” Carlos panted, trying to return the favor by attempting to remove TK’s hoodie. “Are you sure?” 

“Please,” TK begged, green eyes flashing up at Carlos as he dove back into his lips. TK was kidding himself all week, there was no way he could be just friends with Carlos Reyes. 

Carlos took the consent and used it to take over, removing himself from against the door, cupping TK’s head with his hands and returning each kiss with more intensity as they moved closer towards the bed. The pleasure both me received from the friction of their hips grinding against each other melted the tension and dulled whatever common sense was left between them. The logistics could be worked out later; right now, the only thing that mattered in that moment was their bodies becoming one, that this was actually fucking happening.

Hours later, messy sheets were shoved aside and Carlos found himself wide awake, a blissed-out TK asleep with his head resting against Carlos’s chest and an arm wrapped around his waist. Carlos had spent the last hour trying to decipher what the hell just happened, but his brain was so scrambled from the intensity of the sex that he couldn’t even bother with thinking at this point. Carlos knew the shocks still running up and down his spine weren’t just because he was out of practice and experiencing something that wasn’t just his right hand. There was something there, and it wasn’t going away anytime soon.

Carlos looked down, smiling as he repeated his actions from a few weeks ago on his couch, running his fingers through the sleeping TK’s hair. His heart skipped a beat as the man smiled and snuggled in closer to Carlos’s chest, the arm around Carlos’s waist squeezing him tighter. He didn’t know if TK meant to do it or not, but it just felt right. This was something Carlos could get used to. 

They were so, so, magnificently fucked. 

Chapter Text

It wasn’t just the one time like TK thought. It could never be just the one time. The chemistry between him and Carlos wouldn’t let it be.

This was the fourth night since their time in New York that TK had ended up in Carlos’s apartment, slammed up against walls and thrown onto furniture. TK set boundaries for himself, forcing himself out of Carlos’s bed and into his own once the comedown from the absolute fucking bliss Carlos sent him into had subsided, but the magnetic pull of the quarterback was sometimes too much to resist. They were really taking this friends with benefits thing to the next level, always going for round two…or three…or four, half the time followed by hours of conversation. Carlos was finding things out about TK that he didn’t even know about himself.

After an easy win against the Washington Commanders to kick off October, the pair figured they would celebrate one of the only ways they knew how. After a quickie on Carlos’s couch as soon as they got back to their apartment building, the pair eventually moved themselves into the man’s bedroom for round two.

“You wear glasses?” TK asked. He was laying on his stomach in Carlos’s bed, sheets covering his lower half as he looked up at the other man, who had just walked out of the bathroom after a quick shower. TK suddenly rolled onto his back, staring at the ceiling in hopes that if he avoided looking at the chiseled man before him, his dick would take the hint that it had no business being hard in that moment. 

Carlos shrugged, going over to his dresser and pulling out a pair of gym shorts, leaving his chest bare, making it hard not to ogle.

“Since fourth grade,” he responded, quickly getting dressed before sitting back down on the bed. “Took one too many hits to the face in little league before my parents realized I may not have been able to see it coming, literally.”

TK smiled, the mental image of a little Carlos on his little league team as his parents cheered him on making his heart flutter. “Cute.” 

Carlos shot TK a small grin before laying back down in the bed. “You staying?” Carlos asked him each time, and TK wished he could give Carlos the answer that the man seemingly wanted out of TK. “I’ll drive tomorrow, if you want.” 

Carpooling had become non-existent since TK had finally bought a car, a silver Jeep Wrangler. TK hated adding to the amount of gas guzzlers on the road in Texas but the car was fun to drive nonetheless. He wasn’t going to deny that he bought the car impulsively. It was a combination of those big boy NFL paychecks hitting his bank account and wanting a reason to avoid Carlos–and his feelings.

TK exhaled, shaking his head as he used Carlos’s question to finally get himself out of the bed, stretching before grabbing his jeans off the floor and slipping into them. His shirt was somewhere in the living room, flung off in the heat of the moment as they’d started making out in the hallway before crashing through Carlos’s door. He’d find the shirt one day.

 “I have a shoot in the morning since practice is late. Some GQ thing Marjan set up for me,” TK replied, slipping a belt through the loops of his jeans. “The most stylish new member of America’s Team,” TK joked.

“They aren’t wrong,” Carlos remarked. TK’s game day outfits were always crisp, tailored suits in muted tones. Carlos’s favorite so far was the deep maroon he’d worn during the away game in New York, but he wasn’t about to let TK know that. They were friends who hooked up, no more, no less.

TK smiled back at the man, doing a mental note to make sure he had everything before he slipped next door. “Later.” 

Carlos nodded, TK getting one last look at him before he slipped out into the hallway, heading to his own apartment. As soon as he closed the door, TK pressed his back up against it, sliding down slowly until he was sitting on the cold concrete floor of his apartment, legs splayed out in front of him.

Sitting alone in his apartment, silence filling the space, he felt empty. There was something about Carlos that made him feel something, like he was meant to be here on Earth for a reason, whether that reason was sex or football. Carlos made him feel… whole. 

TK realized the feelings were getting too hard to deny.

TK Strand wanted a boyfriend, and he wanted that boyfriend to be Carlos Reyes.

***

TK thought he knew Carlos’s morning routine well enough at this point that he could slip out of his apartment and head to the Star before Carlos left for his morning run. Fate had other plans that morning, both men leaving their apartments at the exact same time. 

“Morning.” TK spoke in the other man’s direction, giving him a slight nod.

“You look nice,” Carlos responded. 

TK looked down at what he had picked out. It was one of his favorite button downs, a dusty pink short-sleeved one covered in different tropical birds paired with a light blue blazer and dark jeans. The shirt wasn’t one he brought out often, but he figured a GQ shoot would be the best place for it to be.

“You too,” TK blurted out before he even realized what he had said. Carlos was dressed for a run, gym shorts and a tank top so tight on Carlos that TK could see the outline of every muscle on the man’s chest. TK had to instinctively cover his crotch; the man had no fucking business looking so fine at seven in the morning. 

“Thanks?” Carlos chuckled nervously.

“Have a good run,” TK sputtered, avoiding eye contact with the quarterback, knowing if he got one look into those big brown eyes that Carlos would not be getting his cardio from his morning run.

“See you later,” Carlos replied, awkwardly scratching the back of his head before putting his AirPods and jogging down the hallway, opting to take the stairs.

 TK cursed as he got on the elevator, knowing that he either needed to face his feelings head-on, or stop these benefits with Carlos before things got so awkward he’d have to move.

After parking in the staff lot at the Star, TK was immediately herded into a conference room-turned-photo studio by Marjan. The pair had become good friends early in the season, meaning Marjan had sensed TK’s vibes almost immediately, pressing into him as they waited for the photographers.

“Something’s weird.”

TK looked around, wide-eyed and avoiding the question. “Nothing’s weird. It’s just early. I’m tired.” 

“You are a terrible liar, Strand,” Marjan smirked, crossing her arms and looking at the running back with a knowing look.

“No I’m not,” he lied.

Marjan pressed a perfectly manicured index finger to TK’s chest. “Spill, 26.” 

TK sighed. “I’m fucking someone. And I think…” TK let out a little breath before he confessed his inner thoughts out loud. “I think I want it to be more than that.”  

“You’ve only been living here since the season started. How have you had time to find someone to date?” 

TK rolled his eyes, “Not dating. Yet. Or ever. Just sex. And…I was able to find someone because….we work together.” 

“WHO?” she yelled, and TK quickly shushed her.

“You can’t tell anyone. ” 

“Pinky promise,” she answered, holding out her pinky to TK, who hooked his own pinky with hers.

TK took a deep breath before confessing. “...Carlos.”

Marjan gasped, playfully slapping TK on the arm. “I knew it.”

TK scoffed. “You did not, Marj.” 

“You guys aren’t that subtle,” she replied. “Carpooling, sitting together during meetings…”

TK rolled his eyes, a small grin on his face. “We’re friends, dude. That’s what friends do.”

“Clearly it’s more than that,” she smirked.

TK looked around to make sure no one was on their way into the room. The last thing they needed right now was some reporter airing this out to the world, effectively outing Carlos and ruining whatever chance the pair had together. 

“Well, don’t tell anyone, alright? I don’t even know if I should have told you,” he whispered. “I don’t know who all he’s out to.”

Marjan shrugged. “He told me when I signed on. Had to map out a crisis plan in the event he’s outed.” 

This news made TK breathe a bit easier, knowing that he didn’t just accidentally out Carlos. The man had trusted him with so many secrets already, he didn’t want to break that trust. Even with that sense of relief, Marjan’s words broke his heart, thinking of the kind of damage control the team would have to do in the event that their arrangement was made public. 

He nodded. “Okay. Cool,” he said quietly. “Thank you, Marj.” He pulled the woman into a hug. He’d forever be grateful for the first friend he made in Dallas.

When they broke apart, Marjan spoke first.

“So you want it to be more?” she gushed. “TK Strand has feelings for someone?”

“I’m not a robot, Marwani,” TK muttered. He wished he was. Being emotionless like he tried so hard to be at the beginning of the season would solve so many problems. “But…yeah, I do. Carlos is…he’s kind of everything. The way I feel when I’m around him? It’s nothing I’ve ever experienced.”

“Have you talked to him about it?” 

“No…don’t know how,” TK replied. “It’s so tricky. Neighbors, coworkers, now adding this in? Recipe for disaster. Kind of hard to admit to your crush you like them when it could end up on national news. I don’t know what to do with these feelings otherwise so…I just run.” 

Marjan shrugged, keeping her answer simple as the GQ crew walked into the room to start their day.

 “Sometimes you just need to stop running.”

***

Carlos was planning on running his normal route, a lap around Turtle Creek Park, but his most recent interaction with TK had him heading elsewhere. It was just past 7am but he knew Grace would already be awake, calling her as he started jogging in the general direction of the Ryder home.

“Any reason you’re calling me this early, Reyes?” Grace answered on the third ring.

Carlos started jogging down the road towards the greenway that led him into her neighborhood. “Need a friend,” he panted.

He heard Grace shift in the background, assuming she was moving  from her bed to the living room so Judd wouldn’t be disturbed. “What’s happening, Carlos?” 

He took a deep breath. “I need dating advice, I guess? Can I come over? I’m 15 minutes out.” He silently thanked Grace and Judd for moving into a bigger home down the street from his apartment just before training camp started. 

“I’ll get the coffee started.” 

“Thanks, Gracie.” Carlos hung up the phone, focusing on his pace as he turned up his music and drowned out the early morning Highland Park traffic.

Carlos arrived right on schedule, a thin layer of sweat coating him even with the early October chill in the air. Grace was waiting at the front door for him, rubbing the small bump starting to appear around her stomach.

“Running from someone?” she asked as Carlos made his way up the steps and into the entryway.

“Maybe.” 

The friends settled outside on the Ryder’s back porch couch, mugs in hand before Grace broke the silence.

“You gonna tell me why you’re this sweaty in my backyard at 7:30 in the morning?” 

Carlos shot her a look, immediately following it up with a smile. Grace was so kind her demeanor couldn’t even be described as bluntness half the time. He loved how straightforward she was, especially when he needed it, like now. He might as well rip the band-aid off. 

“TK and I …we’ve been…hooking up.” 

Grace smirked, taking a sip of her tea. “Now I owe Judd fifty bucks.” 

Carlos rolled his eyes, somehow predicting Grace’s reaction. “We didn’t mean for this to happen, but it just…did.” He blew on his coffee before taking a few sips. “We kissed after the Bengals game, hooked up in New York and then…a few times after that.” 

“You caught feelings, didn’t you.” 

Carlos sighed, staring into the half-empty cup. He knew the answer but he didn’t want to say it out loud, even to Grace.

“Yeah,” he finally replied, looking up at Grace with wide brown eyes. “I kind of can’t get him out of my head.”

Grace scooted closer to Carlos. “That bad?”

Carlos leaned back, taking another sip from his cup. “I mean, we do more than just hookup. He doesn’t spend the night, but…we talk a lot,” he sighed, looking back down into his cup, wishing it had the answers for him.

 “You talk to him about it?”

“Not yet,” Carlos exhaled. “Not sure how.” 

“What’s stopping you?”

“Everything, Grace!” Carlos exclaimed, trying his hardest not to yell. “I can’t date a teammate. It’s probably against so many rules and at least three code of ethics violations.” 

Grace glared at him. “Do you know who you’re talking to?” 

Carlos softened, realizing that this was something Grace had dealt with. He remembered the news pundits once it was announced Grace would become the first female offensive coordinator in the league, and for her husband’s team, no less. 

“Sorry,” Carlos responded. 

Grace smiled softly at him, giving him a reassuring rub on the arm. “I know it’s a different situation. But know that we’ve been there. It’s tough, but you just need to drown out the outside noise, and listen to what’s right in there,” she said, pointing at the man’s chest. 

Carlos nodded, letting Grace’s advice sink in as they were interrupted by a booming voice behind them. 

“Reyes, you keeping my pregnant wife from her beauty sleep?” Judd appeared, leaning against the doorway, his own cup of coffee in hand. “Do you own a watch?”

Carlos grinned at Grace then back at Judd, taking that as his queue to leave. “Was just leaving. Is that any way to treat the godfather of your future child?” 

Judd grumbled, patting Carlos on the back as he walked by the man. “See you later.” 

“See y’all.” 

Carlos set back out, jogging on the path towards his apartment building, using the time to think about what Grace had said. If he listened to his heart, he felt like he could lose everything. Was TK worth the risk? Would officiality and feelings make it so the romance would fizzle out immediately, or would it go the distance? He wasn’t sure if he wanted to find out.

***

TK thought about Marjan’s words, about not running anymore, but it was easier said than done. He tried making a pros and cons list, Cooper on FaceTime as he did it, and as it stood, the cons vastly overtook the pros. He was a rookie with a handful of games under his belt. The media had died down some as the season started but he was still the first openly gay player in the NFL. Making waves this early, especially when Carlos wasn’t out, was the bad idea to end all ideas. He hadn’t dated anyone since getting sober, and he didn’t know what that would be like. Would he repeat what happened after Alex, or worse? As much as he wanted to stop running away from his feelings and confront them head on, running away was the best solution right now. Maybe their time together could just be a footnote in Carlos’s eventual memoir.

TK did what he thought was best–avoiding any interaction with the man outside of practice. He knew he was breaking his and Carlos’s heart in a way, but it was what needed to be done. 

Their hotel room in LA was quiet before the game, each man awkwardly dancing around the other as they got ready. TK avoided as much eye contact as he could with Carlos, silently kicking himself for looking at Carlos in his game day attire. A simple navy pinstripe suit, fitted to perfection with a white button-down underneath, curls gelled down. TK wasn’t sure if he wanted to rip the suit off, flinging it somewhere in the general direction of his bed before going down on Carlos with intensity, or if he wanted to slowly and gently undress him, treating him with care down to the last orgasm that came out of the quarterback’s mouth. 

Instead, TK chose a simple nod, slipping out of the hotel room and onto the team bus while Carlos was in the bathroom, steering clear of him as they made their way through SoFi Stadium. 

The game against the Rams was an easy one, the Cowboys scoring with ease and spirits high in the locker room during halftime, Dallas up 16-10.

 The first play of the second half was an easy one, Carlos slipping a nod to TK to prepare him to grab the ball.

As the play started, TK watched the scene in front of him in slow motion.

 Carlos getting ready to pass the ball to him.

The Rams defenseman slamming into Carlos, the ball flailing out of his hands from the force of the tackle. 

Carlos going down, down, down, his arm twisted as he landed directly on his right elbow, skull clanging against the helmet as he hit the ground.

TK was far enough to where he didn’t hear a crack, but the yelp followed by a contorted look of pain on Carlos’s face told him it wasn’t good. 

As the ref blew his whistle and Tommy and Nancy rushed out onto the field, TK found himself stepping back, heart pounding so hard in his chest that the throbbing was all he could hear in his helmet. He watched from afar as the women helped Carlos up and off the field, the man holding his right arm close to his stomach. TK barely got a good look, but the swelling was evident, he knew it wasn’t long until the area would be black and blue. 

The rest of the game went by in a blur, TK just going through the motions. He couldn’t stop thinking about Carlos, if he was okay, how bad it was. TK had been playing this game for a while. He knew a concussion was probably the least of the quarterback’s concerns right now. 

TK barely let the clock run out in the fourth quarter before he was running off the field, quickly stopping in the locker room to strip off his helmet and pads before running back out into the tunnels of the stadium, searching for any sign of Tommy, Carlos, a medical station, anything. A few minutes later, he ran right into Nancy, grabbing her by the shoulders before speaking.

“Where is he?” He tried to sound calm, but he knew his words came out fast and frantic.

Nancy shrugged the man’s hands off of her shoulders, imitating the gesture by gently placing her hands onto TK’s arms.

“Visitor’s medical room. Down the hall to the left. No concussion, just strained his elbow. He should be good to play by next week.”

TK took a deep breath, trying to calm down before figuring out his next steps. “He’s okay?”

“He’s okay,” Nancy reassured, a smirk growing on her face. “Why do you care so much?” It took her a few seconds before the expression on her face turned to one of surprise. “Oooo, You like him!” 

“Shut up,” TK groaned, not in the mood for anyone else to process his feelings for Carlos. He barely wanted to process them himself, but witnessing what he did on the field reminded TK about how short life could be, how dangerous the game they play really is. Life was so fragile and TK realized it was time for him to stop running. TK cursed himself for waxing so philosophically over another’s hurt elbow, but life was working in mysterious ways for him recently.

“Go see your boy,” Nancy replied, walking away as she pretended she was locking her lips and throwing away the key. 

TK nodded in her direction before heading down the hall and to the left as he was instructed. Finally making his way into the room where Carlos was, TK saw the man set up on a massage bench, right arm in a sling. He looked shocked to see TK running towards him. Tommy had just finished up with the man, smiling warmly towards TK as she left the room. 

“TK?” Carlos called out.  Just saying his name out loud was the most they had spoken in a week. 

“Hey,” TK replied breathlessly, running his fingers through sweaty curls before cupping Carlos’s face in his hands, “You’re okay.” 

“I’m okay,” Carlos said cautiously, trying to slowly back himself out of TK’s embrace. A week of cold shoulders and avoidance to this?

TK realized he was being too hands-on, quickly taking his hands away from Carlos, folding them behind his back and fidgeting nervously. 

“Sorry, I–that was–that was really scary, Carlos, fuck.”

“You good, Strand?” there was still an air of coldness to his voice, wondering why TK was fawning over him now. 

TK looked around the now-empty room, making sure the coast was clear before he spoke, deciding then and there that it was time to stop running.

“I will be,” TK replied. “Once I do this.” TK finished the sentence by bringing Carlos close to him, pressing his lips against the quarterback’s, gentle and with kindness. This wasn’t one of their normal kisses, all gnashing teeth and slippery tongues. This was soft and romantic. This was the start of their new normal. 

Carlos leaned into the kiss, letting TK take the lead for a moment before breaking apart, a smile on his face.

“What was that for?”

TK exhaled, running his hands through Carlos’s hair once again. “I don’t wanna run anymore.”

***

An hour later Tommy came and cleared Carlos to leave the stadium, TK staying with him under the guise of being a supportive teammate and roommate. They chose to Uber back to the hotel, TK buzzing with nervous energy as he gently guided the other man into their hotel room, TK’s hand ghosting over Carlos’s shoulder..

“It’s a strained elbow, TK, I can still walk.” 

“You’re still hurt. Let me take care of you.” 

Carlos rolled his eyes, a smile spreading across his face nonetheless. “Fine.” 

TK got to work, turning down the sheets of Carlos’s bed as the other man wandered into the bathroom, ridding himself of his dirty game clothes and changing into fresh boxers before sliding into the bed. TK puttered about, getting himself ready for bed before making his way to his own bed on the other side of the room. Carlos wasn’t having it. 

“Can we talk?” Carlos broke the silence in the room, patting the space next to him on the bed. 

TK nodded, moving into the space next to Carlos. The man felt his heart thud against his ribcage as Carlos wrapped his good arm around him, squeezing tight. TK relaxed into the gesture, resting his head on the other man’s shoulder. They sat like that for a few minutes before Carlos broke the silence.

“You ready?” he asked.

TK took a deep breath. “Yeah.” Ready as he could be. He was never one to be good with the heavy conversations because his plan was always to blow it up and run. Right now, that was the last thing he wanted to do. 

Carlos cleared his throat before speaking. “So…I like you,” the man chuckled before continuing. “God, I sound like a fucking fifth grader. But these feelings I have for you…I haven’t known what to do with them.”

TK laughed, nuzzling his face into Carlos’s neck, bravely pressing a kiss into it. “I like you too,” he replied, removing himself from Carlos’s space, finishing his thought with a slight smile, a gesture proven contagious when an identical one popped up onto Carlos’s face. “For a while now.”

“Same.”

TK spoke again, tracing soft patterns into Carlos’s thigh. “I always blow it up. That’s just how my life works. And…I knew you were something special and so..I just ran away so I could try to avoid it,” TK shuddered, “But after seeing you take that hit, I just… I don’t want to run anymore.”

Silence followed for a minute before Carlos continued. 

“Do you think we can do this?” he asked. “Date?” Carlos paused for a moment. “I-I mean, if you want to.” 

TK sat up, smiling before cupping Carlos’s face in his hands, stroking his cheeks with utmost care. “I think it’s worth a shot.”

“You know we’d have to keep it secret,” Carlos said quietly, his voice trembling. “And I understand if–”

“Carlos, babe,” TK said, trying out the term of endearment, calming as he noticed the other man smiling at the use of the word. “I figured we would. And I mean, we've got a lot working in our favor right now. Next-door neighbors, road roommates…” TK trailed off. “It’s kind of…meant to be, in a way.” 

The men let a stillness fill the air for what felt like hours before Carlos spoke again.

“Are we really doing this?”

TK grinned, leaning into Carlos for a kiss, soft and sweet. “We’re doing this.” 

Carlos looked back at TK with a serious expression. “You know I’m still technically married.”

TK smiled. “You’ll get a divorce when you need to. I’m not really concerned about you running off with a woman,” he joked.

“I might not come out for a while.” Carlos wanted to lay it all out on the table for TK, giving him an out before things got too intense. 

“And that’s okay, Carlos. If I just have to be your best friend, or just your co-worker, even your…personal shopper. Whatever you need.”

Carlos took a deep breath, knowing the next sentence may be a dealbreaker for TK. “What if I never do?” 

TK gazed at the other man with a loving expression, resting one hand on Carlos’s face.

“Nothing ever stays the same, Carlos.”

TK laid back down after a few more kisses, snuggling back into Carlos’s left side. 

“You should know I’m a cuddler.” 

Carlos smiled, wrapping TK up with his left arm. “I think there are worse things to be in life.” He looked over to TK, kissing his forehead. “I’m sorry we can’t…do…anything,” he murmured, gesturing to his dominant arm in a sling. “I feel like we should be celebrating.”

TK looked up at Carlos, a cheeky grin appearing on his face. 

“No one said it had to be a two person job,” TK said, sliding down Carlos, straddling the man as he slowly removed the man’s boxers, head down towards his hips.

“Well don’t let me stop you,” Carlos whispered.

As the night went on, the men enjoyed the silence of their room, the muffled sounds of the Los Angeles traffic the only noise surrounding them.

“You know the last time we were here was the first time I thought you were like, human,” Carlos said, TK’s head against his chest as Carlos played with his hair. 

TK looked up at Carlos with a confused look. “Human?”

Carlos smiled, half-shrugging before explaining. “You were kind of a dick up until then. Then I watched you FaceTime your little brother, and it was the cutest thing. It’s when I realized there was a heart in there,” he joked, softly running his fingers over TK’s chest.

TK laughed with him. “I was kind of a dick up until then. And after that.” 

“Still kind of are,” Carlos smirked, evoking a playful slap on the shoulder from TK. 

“I’m getting better,” TK pouted. “Had help from a friend,” he smiled, crawling up and kissing Carlos again, running a finger down the man’s face. 

“I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of that,” TK said softly, kissing Carlos again.

The man smiled, pressing one more kiss to the running back’s mouth. “I hope you don’t.” 

***

“Am I ever going to see your apartment?” Carlos asked. 

They’d gotten in from LA earlier that morning. After a successful win against the Rams, O’Brien had canceled practice, leaving them a full day of rest and relaxation. The pair immediately fell back into bed together, holding each other close and enjoying the other’s company.

TK shrugged. “We can go now. Need to feed my lizard anyway.”

Carlos paled. “ Lizard?”

TK smiled, running a finger up and down Carlos’s jawline before kissing it. “I have a bearded dragon. Lou 2.” 

“Can I ask what happened to the first one?” Carlos never understood why, but he had…not a fear for reptiles, but a distaste for them. He made a mental note that he may regret his original question depending on what the next few minutes held in store for them. 

TK grinned, getting up before gently taking Carlos’s good arm and helping him out of the bed. “There never was a first one. Graduation present that Jonah picked out and named for me.” 

“That’s…adorable, actually,” Carlos replied, his feelings for TK growing deeper with every moment. TK could put on a cold exterior and try to shut people out, but Carlos was loving getting to know TK Strand, a clingy cuddler and lizard-haver extraordinaire. 

“I can say the same thing about you,” TK murmured, kissing him before taking his hand, weaving their fingers together. “Come on, let’s go.” 

When they made it next door, Carlos was amazed with how immaculately decorated TK’s apartment was. 

“I can’t give myself any credit for this,” TK replied, watching as the other man took in his surroundings. “My agent hired an interior designer for it all,” TK smirked before continuing. “Do you really think I need this many photos of the Manhattan skyline?” 

 Carlos shrugged, grinning as he pulled TK in for a kiss. “You know how people from Texas are like, obsessed with the shape of Texas and put it on everything? I thought it was like that.” He pulled away, looking around the living room. “Now where’s this creature you love so dearly?”

TK beamed, leading Carlos over to a tank in the corner of the living room, where an orange lizard lay basking under a lamp. “This is Lou 2.” 

Carlos nodded, eyeing Lou 2 warily. “That…definitely is a lizard.” 

“You’ll grow to like him. Just like you did me,” TK teased.

Carlos shot him a look. “Well, you aren’t covered in scales and I have to assume you don’t live on crickets.” 

TK grinned. “Fair assumption.” 

The rest of the night was filled with Chinese takeout, movies, and lazy kisses on the couch in TK’s apartment. Eventually they made it to the bedroom, TK lazily going down on Carlos, being extra careful of his arm, still wrapped in a sling. 

“I promise to return the favor soon,” Carlos whispered after the second blow job, catching his breath as TK appeared beside him again, wrapping the quarterback in his arms. 

“I’ll hold you to that,” TK murmured, pressing a kiss into Carlos’s hair. 

Hours later, Carlos woke up with a start, realizing he was in an unfamiliar place, but slowly came to his senses that he was in TK’s bed. TK was pressed up against Carlos’s left side, snoring softly. Carlos took a deep breath, taking a few minutes to watch the man sleep. He was so beautiful, even in slumber. Carlos couldn’t help himself, reaching out and caressing TK’s face with a gentle touch. The last 48 hours had been a whirlwind. He really couldn’t believe that TK was currently his.

The man’s soft touch made TK stir, the man slowly opening his eyes and peering up at Carlos, sleepy smile growing across his face. 

“Sleep, baby,” TK whispered, burrowing closer into Carlos. TK really wasn’t kidding about being a cuddler; Carlos could barely remember fifteen minutes in the last two days where the man wasn’t attached to him. The quarterback figured that if TK could crawl directly into his skin, he would.

“In a sec,” Carlos whispered back, taking a few extra seconds to gaze at the man next to him, enjoying every minute of it.

***

“I shouldn’t have played today,” Carlos whispered quietly, sitting on the edge of his bed in their hotel room after a devastating loss to the Eagles. “Wasn’t ready.” He’d been cleared for play the day before the game–elbow still a little sore but functional, nonetheless. Now, it may have cost them the game. 

TK looked over at Carlos, making his way over to the bed and sitting beside him, rubbing the quarterback’s arm softly, finishing the comforting gesture by taking the man’s hand in his. 

“They’re undefeated, Carlos,” TK replied, resting his head on Carlos’s shoulder. “And it's a home game for them. You know how the Linc is. We really didn’t stand a chance. Losses happen.” 

“All of my throws were off because of the fucking brace on my elbow,” the man whispered back, tears threatening to fall. “That was our first loss in a month. And it was my fault.” 

“Grace and O'Brien would have decided to send in Prescott for backup if she didn’t think you were ready, baby,” TK said. He watched as a lone tear trailed down Carlos’s face, bringing the man in close to him and rubbing his back. 

“I know,” Carlos said almost inaudibly. 

“You know, this feels oddly similar to a conversation we had a month ago,” TK said, a joking tone to his voice. “I remember someone telling me that losses happen too.” 

TK’s words got a smile out of Carlos, who nodded in agreement, quickly wiping the tears that did fall. “You got me there,” he chuckled. He took a deep breath before speaking again. “I just don’t want to let anyone down,” he said, voice trembling. “Especially you.” 

TK slowly took Carlos’s face in his, kissing him deep before breaking apart, pressing their foreheads together. 

“My boyfriend is the star quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys, who puts his all on the field no matter what, even when he’s hurting,” TK smiled, running a hand through Carlos’s hair. “I don’t think you could truly ever let me down.” 

Carlos looked up at TK, wide eyes filled with tears again. “Boyfriend?” It was the first time he’d heard that term out loud, both in regards to his relationship with TK or…ever, now that he thought about it. He hadn’t let anyone get this close.

“Yes, my boyfriend, Carlos Reyes,” TK replied, punctuating the sentence with a kiss to Carlos’s forehead. “You know him? Six foot one, curly hair, abs to fucking die for—”

“Shut up,” Carlos groaned, a smile breaking through. He looked down at TK’s hand, interlacing their fingers together. “No one’s ever called me that before.”

“No one’s ever called you Carlos Reyes before?”

The quarterback rolled his eyes. “No one’s ever called me their boyfriend before.” He looked down at their hands, rubbing little circles on the top of TK’s. “It’s nice.” 

“Well, get used to it,” TK smirked, kissing Carlos on the cheek. 

Carlos smiled back. “I think I can do that.”

Chapter Text

Two weeks of having a boyfriend, and Carlos forgot what life was like before TK Strand. 

He’d forgotten what it was like to wake up alone. Most days when he woke up, whether it be in his own bed or TK’s, the other man was curled up next to him, hands stretched out towards Carlos with his fingers gently brushing the man’s chest. He’d started getting used to cooking for someone else besides him and eating meals with a partner. TK, born and raised in Manhattan and fresh out of college, proved to be a terrible cook but fantastic at ordering takeout. 

The last two weeks had been pure fucking bliss for Carlos, to the point where he was sure this was all a dream and he’d wake up the morning after seeing the article about TK being traded to the Cowboys. That never happened. Instead, every morning when he opened his eyes, there TK was. 

They’d resumed their carpooling, which Carlos found a lot more fun now. Sneaking kisses at stoplights behind the Camaro’s tinted windows and more inside jokes. There was also something about reaching over and resting a free hand on TK’s thigh and TK smiling as he interlaced their fingers together. All things he wanted to do before, but now had free reign with. It was everything.

With that, Carlos realized they spent nearly every waking moment together; from the time they woke up until they settled into bed at night. It was an indescribable feeling of course, something he couldn’t get enough of, but there was a nagging feeling in the back of his head that he was being too much .

There was also the fact that their relationship was supposed to be a secret. They were playing it as safe as they could in the position they were in. No one thought anything about how they showed up to practice together; everyone knew they were neighbors. They knew which hallways in their building had security cameras and how to avoid them. God forbid some slimy security guard watched the tapes and decided to slip them to Us Weekly for a pretty penny. 

Carlos dreamed of being able to go and sit in a restaurant and have a real, honest-to-God date with TK where no one would blink an eye. Maybe one of them would get traded and it would give Carlos that kick in the ass he needed to publicly come out. Either way, Carlos felt like he should create some boundaries to avoid an inevitable heartbreak.

“We should spend some time apart.” Carlos blurted out one morning over a pre-practice breakfast. 

TK’s eyes widened as straightened his posture from his seat at the table across from Carlos.

“W-what do you mean?” 

Carlos immediately realized what it sounded like he had said and shook his head frantically. 

“Oh, baby, no, not like that. I’m sorry.  It’s just…” Carlos paused, moving his eggs around on his plate before looking back up at TK. “You’re not sick of me yet?” 

TK relaxed a bit, leaning back in his chair with a smile on his face as he took a sip of coffee. “You’re not sick of me yet?” 

Carlos smiled back, shaking his head. “No, I’m not,” he replied, sighing contentedly. “But we get up together every morning. We go to practice together. Then we come home together at night. We should just…try it out. For a night. We drive to practice separately, then do our own thing after. ” 

TK eyed Carlos nervously, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Was he lying about being sick of him? Was tonight going to make Carlos realize that maybe he was better off alone? After all the time they had spent divulging in each other’s darkest thoughts and deepest secrets, was Carlos going to go down a Google rabbit hole and suddenly believe anything and everything the press had been saying about TK in the past? Was he really that big of a liability? 

Suddenly TK was brought back to reality when he felt strong arms wrap around him, so in his head that he didn’t even realize Carlos had moved from the spot across from him.

“This does not mean I like you any less,” Carlos murmured, lips pressed into TK’s hair, seemingly reading his mind. “It’s one night. It’s probably healthy.” 

TK turned around, looking up at his boyfriend. “If I can’t sleep tonight and I’m shit at practice tomorrow because I got used to the human space heater that has taken up three quarters of the bed every night for two weeks, you will make it up to me.” 

Carlos grinned, leaning down to kiss TK. “That can be arranged.” 

TK smiled into the kiss, turning back around to his breakfast as Carlos returned to his seat.

“It’s been a couple weeks. We should tell Marjan.” TK had been dwelling on it since that night in LA. He felt bad not telling her immediately because of their friendship, but also, because of her role with the Cowboys, he wasn’t sure if he could tell her as a friend.

Carlos looked up briefly, nodding in agreement. They’d been in such a blissful bubble that was about to burst. It felt like now, even with at least one other person knowing, it could all go wrong at any moment. 

“Before practice?”

TK nodded, reaching a hand out towards his boyfriend from across the table, lacing their fingers together as he sensed Carlos’s anxiety. “It’s gonna be okay, babe,” he said softly. “Marj will be behind us the entire way,” he chuckled, rubbing soft circles on the top of the other man’s hand. “She probably already has a binder with plans A-Z about this exact situation.” 

Carlos smiled, reaching his own hand out and lacing their fingers together. TK made even the more difficult things in life that much easier. 

***

“Well color me shocked,” Marjan proclaimed sarcastically as the two men stood in front of her after breaking the news.

TK rolled his eyes. “Shut up, Marj.” 

The woman shrugged, leaning back in her chair. “As your friend, fucking finally,” she smirked, looking over at Carlos then setting her eyes on TK. “I was getting tired of hearing this one whine.” 

TK blushed, looking over at Carlos, who was giggling at the statement. After a brief pause, Carlos swallowed, wringing his hands nervously. He didn’t have the relationship that TK had with her, making this a lot more anxiety-inducing.

 “And as communications director?”

Marjan straightened in the chair, pushing it in closer to her desk while looking at the two men sitting across from her. 

“You haven’t exactly made my job simple for me, but we’ll manage,” she smiled warmly at both men, patting the folder on her desk. “I’ve got plans for every possible situation.” 

“Of course you do,” TK smirked, looking over at Carlos, recalling their earlier conversation. He’d never met anyone more organized than Marjan Marwani.

The woman sighed, opening the folder and scanning its contents before looking back up at Carlos. “You know you’ve always had our full support in whatever you decide to do, and that’s not changing.” 

Carlos nodded, a small smile on his face. “Thank you, Marj.” 

Marjan nodded, smiling brightly at both of them. “I’m in your corner,” she replied before setting her gaze directly on TK. “You know who you’re going to answer to if you break this man’s heart.” 

TK blushed, glancing at Carlos before looking back at his friend. “I’m hoping it won’t come to that.”

***

After their meeting with Marjan, their day that consisted mostly of practice drills went smoothly. Ever since becoming official, TK and Carlos had shown strength in their abilities on the field, the pair working together flawlessly and better than before. They’d always been a great team, but their power together was being noticed by others.

TK had slipped out of practice a touch early, silently nodding towards Carlos before leaving the locker room and disappearing for the night. Carlos was curious about what TK was going to do during their time apart. Before Carlos got the chance to leave the facility himself, Grace cornered him in the locker room while he was alone. 

“Hey, Gracie,” Carlos said nonchalantly as he ripped off his practice jersey, exchanging it for a faded UT-Austin shirt. Carlos tried not to blush as he put it on and saw it was a bit too tight on him, meaning it was TK’s, not his. It was bound to happen eventually.

Grace eyed Carlos with an eyebrow raised, spending a few extra seconds to study his shirt before breaking the silence between them. 

“That’s not your shirt.”

Carlos looked around, eyes widening before speaking again.

“It’s an old shirt,” he responded quietly, scratching the back of his head. 

“It’s someone else’s old shirt,” she retorted, sitting down on the bench next to Carlos. 

The quarterback exhaled and sat down next to Grace, looking down at the floor before making eye contact with her and fessing up. 

“Are we really being that obvious?” He knew he didn’t need to say any more to her since their conversation a few weeks prior.

The woman let out a small smile, squeezing Carlos’s knee in an act of comfort.

“No, but I just know you. And when that boy thinks no one is looking, he is looking at you like you hung the stars in the sky.” 

Carlos blushed. “I’ll have to talk to him about that. Maybe not tonight–we decided to…take a night to ourselves. First time in weeks. Figured it would be healthy.” 

Grace patted Carlos on the shoulder. “You can try it, but I’m betting you’ll be at his doorstep before midnight,” she chuckled. “Judd and I tried that too, but after that one night…I just went over to his house and never left.” 

“Thanks for the vote of confidence.” 

She shrugged. “You look lighter, Carlos,” she said, her smile growing. “Looks like you drowned out the outside noise.” 

Carlos exhaled, grinning at the woman. “I did.” 

“I am happy for you honey,” she said, pulling the man in for a hug. “Now please , can I tell Judd so we can have you both over for a double date?” 

Carlos sat up, stretching and letting out a soft groan. “Let me talk to TK.”

“Better do it before the baby gets here.” 

Carlos laughed, pulling the woman up off the bench and wrapping her in a hug. “Like you’re not about to go running to your husband and tell them those two idiots he plays with finally got their feelings sorted.”

Grace broke apart from him, gasping dramatically. “Now why do you think I would do such a thing?”

“Because you and Judd gossip worse than the Golden Girls.” 

Grace let out a chuckle, shrugging. “It’s one of the perks of a happy relationship, Carlos. Built-in best friend to dish with.” She blew a kiss to Carlos and headed for the door to the locker room. “Hope he does that for you.” 

Carlos blew a kiss back, smiling at his friend and coach before she disappeared down the hallway. Thinking back on what she had just said, he was pretty sure he had. 

*** 

TK slipped out of the locker room quietly after practice, heading back towards Dallas with a specific location in mind–one he found after a quick Google search on his phone while walking out to his Jeep that was sitting in the staff parking lot.

When you looked at the basics, these meetings were the same in every city.

 Same dingy church basement. Same stale coffee and hardened donuts. Same types of people, he assumed; it was his first meeting outside of New York. He was heading into the unknown.

He’d sat in his car for a good thirty minutes before he built enough courage to enter the church, a phone call to Cooper his last drop of encouragement needed to go through with it. Anonymous is in the name, sure, but when you’re on TV throwing around a ball every Sunday, it’s a little harder to be unknown.

He thought about how to introduce himself. He could say TK. Everyone already knows who he is, but at least using Tyler could bring people to the conclusion it’s just an eerie coincidence. He could just be a doppelganger of a man who happens to look, sound, and have the same name as the running back for the Dallas Cowboys. 

“Hi, I’m Tyler, and I’m an addict,” he imagined saying to the sparse crowd gathered in front of him.

He thought about what he would bring up first. The dead parents, his post-Alex OD, his knee injury and the path that lead him. His time so far on the Cowboys. There were so many options, but he decided to wing it and speak from the heart. Sometimes, you just don’t know what to say until you’re in front of that room and the truth just comes out. 

He sat in the back of the room, watching and listening as each person went to the podium and shared their story. This meeting felt different than the ones in New York. It felt hipper, kinder. TK actually really liked it.

Eventually, the leader of the meeting nodded towards TK, notifying him that he was one of the last in the room that hadn’t spoken yet. TK nodded back, making his way to the front of the room and taking a deep breath.

“Hi, I’m TK, and I’m an addict.” 

*** 

Like some type of magnetic force pulling them towards each other no matter the circumstances, the men ended up arriving in their shared hallway at the same time. They used this coincidence to share a few more quiet moments together. 

“It’s just one night,” Carlos murmured, his forehead pressed against TK’s as they held each other, pressed against the wall in between their apartment doors. “We’ll drive to practice together tomorrow.” 

“That’s like…sixteen hours from now,” TK pouted.

“Oh, whatever will you do,” Carlos replied sarcastically.

“Starve, probably.” 

“If UberEats delivers to my apartment, they deliver to yours, babe.” 

“I know,” TK replied, smiling as he gently kisses Carlos. “I just got used to my boyfriend’s cooking, that’s all.” 

Carlos smiled, returning the kiss before breaking apart from TK and taking the steps towards his apartment. TK picked up on the message and walked towards his.

“I’ll see you in the morning,” Carlos said softly. “Text me if you need anything.”  

TK smirked, “You’re going to regret saying that.” 

Carlos rolled his eyes as he opened the door to his home. “Goodnight, Tyler.” 

Hours later, as he lay in bed, Carlos realized that being apart, even for just one night, may have been a mistake. He glanced towards the clock and saw it was only 10:24pm. Jesus.  

He’d gotten into his apartment around 6. In that time, he went on a run, called his parents, caught up on laundry, showered, and reviewed Detroit’s and Chicago’s seasons so far to better prepare for their next two home games. Eventually, it seemed like it should be time to go to bed. 

He ignored the pull of his message thread with TK, wanting to say fuck it all and tell him to come over, knowing TK would burst through their shared wall like the Kool-Aid man if he could. 

While scrolling through Instagram, he heard the familiar ping of a new text message, heart pounding against his ribcage as he saw the notification was from TK.

TK Strand: your boy cleans up nice 😏

Attached to the text was a link to TK’s GQ spread from a few weeks ago. Carlos remembers that day, their awkward encounter in the hallway before his talk with Grace. He felt a sense of pride in his chest as he flipped through the photos of TK, the man’s clear green eyes staring at him through the screen. Carlos knew these photos would have men and women drooling all over the country, but none of them knew TK was his. 

Carlos Reyes: Should I tell everyone thirsting in the comments that seeing your coworker in old gym shorts got you hard in your apartment hallway at seven in the morning?

TK Strand: [attachment: gif of monkey puppet looking back and forth nervously]

TK Strand: I thought I covered that up well enough.

Carlos Reyes: In those tight pants you wear?

Carlos Reyes: Be real for a second.

TK Strand: Maybe try to be less irresistible. 

Carlos Reyes: I’ll just try harder next time. 

TK Strand: and I’m the tease??

Carlos Reyes: 😉

Carlos put his phone face down on his nightstand and closed his eyes, hoping that eventually sleep would just come to him. He’d spent the majority of his life alone in a bed, but two short weeks and the emptiness across the mattress was something he couldn’t ignore. 

Fuck it. 

Carlos moved slowly off the mattress, standing up and stretching for a minute before deciding to leave his bedroom. Maneuvering through his dark apartment towards the front, he slid on shoes before opening the door to head down the hall to TK’s apartment.

As he went to leave, he came face to face with TK, the man with his hand up like he was about to knock on the door.

TK smiled softly before speaking, moving his hands so they were behind his back as he swayed back and forth.

“We’re insane.”

Carlos smiled, reaching behind TK’s back to grab his boyfriend’s hand and lead him back to the bedroom.

***

“Grace figured it out.”

The pair lay quietly in Carlos’s bed an hour later, tangled in the bedsheets as Carlos lay his head on TK’s chest, focusing on the sound of his heartbeat, which started beating the slightest bit faster with Carlos’s confession. 

TK looked down at his boyfriend, lightly scratching Carlos’s scalp, an action he was using to calm both himself and Carlos. “Are we…safe?” 

Carlos sat up and nodded, adjusting positions so that TK’s head was now resting on his chest. “She already knew how I felt about you, and what happened between us in Austin. Judd goes hand-in-hand with that and as long as we keep it together on the field, he doesn’t care. It turns out someone can’t look at me during a play without massive heart-eyes.”

TK jokingly looked around, grinning. “Paul does find you adorable.” 

Carlos chuckled, planting a kiss on the top of TK’s head. “Someone should tell him that, unfortunately, I’m taken.”

TK rolled off of Carlos’s chest and onto the other side of the bed, resting on his elbows to look up at the other man. “I went to a meeting today.” 

“Meeting?”

TK paused, breath trembling. “NA meeting.” 

The quarterback straightened his posture, a look of concern growing on his face. “Is everything okay?”

TK nodded, moving himself so he was sitting cross-legged on the bed, weirdly breathing a little easy with the other man’s concern. He didn’t know why he was expecting anything less from kind, caring, and genuine Carlos. 

 “I think I was just…feeling a little… restless, I guess?” TK looked down, knotting his fingers together. He looked up at his boyfriend, trying to read the expression painting the man’s face. Carlos didn’t look upset or cold or like he didn’t care what the next words out of TK’s mouth were. In fact, it was quite the opposite, the warm yet sympathetic look on the man’s face waiting for TK to share more. 

It made TK realize that since his mother died, he hadn’t felt safe around another person. No one would ever be Gwyneth Morgan, or ever come close, but Carlos was the safest space TK could imagine in her permanent absence. He’d shown these glimpses of vulnerability over the last few months to Carlos, testing the waters before fully diving in like he was about to do. 

“I think I just got in my head about us spending time apart. And I realized that this is my first relationship where I’ve been sober the whole time, so far. So I’m not sure how to…deal…with that.” TK glanced over to Carlos to see if he was still listening. He was, much to TK’s relief. 

The man took a deep breath before continuing. “I guess I just got nervous that if we spent time apart, you’d realize that I was…” Another deep breath, this one shakier than before.  “More of a liability than you thought. And that I was only using you so I wouldn’t…use, you know?” 

TK tried to keep his breathing under control, tears threatening to fall from his eyes. It didn’t matter how safe he felt in Carlos’s arms, these barriers he built up the last few years would be difficult to break down.

Carlos immediately invaded TK’s space, pulling him close so the man’s head was resting on his shoulder. Carlos kept his arms wrapped around TK, rubbing his hand up and down the man’s arm in a comforting motion. 

“You, TK Strand, are not a liability,” Carlos murmured into TK’s hair, peppering kisses around his scalp along the way. “And I’m sorry if I–”

“Shhh,” TK looked up at his boyfriend, gently ghosting fingers up and down Carlos’s jawline. “Your intentions were pure, Carlos,” he whispered, looking down at the sheets with a smirk. “It was smart. We should honestly try it,” TK chuckled. “You’re right, it’s gotta be healthy.” 

Carlos grinned, pulling TK in for a soft kiss. “We can still try, if you want. But Grace said we didn’t stand a chance.” 

TK smiled, returning the man’s kiss with intensity. “Well then, while we’re here, there is something else I do want to try,” he said with a sultry tone, pulling Carlos towards him, and wrapping his legs around the small of the other man’s back.

***

After an easy win against the Lions, the Cowboys moved on to their last game before bye week: a home game against Chicago. They’d been working their asses off hoping to clinch one final victory before a glorious week of no practice and no team meetings, just optional strength and conditioning sessions. Carlos couldn’t wait: a full week with TK, no other interruptions. 

Before they could get to those blissful seven days, Carlos and TK had one slight obstacle to overcome in the form of Michelle and Iris Blake. 

Iris had been discharged from the treatment center towards the beginning of September, and after getting settled back into a routine, she finally felt comfortable to make the trip to Dallas with Michelle for the game against the Bears. Carlos had taken care of everything, putting the girls up in a suite at the Indigo Hotel down the street from his apartment, car service to and from the stadium, the whole works. He’d also told them about his blossoming relationship with TK one night over FaceTime, a quiet moment when TK was next door at his own home FaceTiming with his stepfather and brother. 

“Fucking finally, dude!” Iris exclaimed, her smile taking up almost the entire screen. “I was wondering when you were finally gonna pounce.”

“I barely told you anything about him,” Carlos whined, glaring at Michelle.

“That’s what I’m here for,” Michelle chimed in, a smile gracing her face as well. “Happy for you, Carlos.”  

“Soooo,” Iris said, a tune to her voice, “When do we get to meet him?”

The man chuckled, scratching the back of his head. “Next week, after the game?”

“Promise you won’t hide him away?” Michelle asked, her and Iris sharing a look.

Carlos sighed. “Promise.”

“Then we’re there,” Iris smiled.

***

“You sure this shirt is okay?” TK whispered as he pulled the blue short-sleeve button down from his bag, holding it up to Carlos. It was the fourth shirt TK had shown him in the last twelve hours. 

Carlos looked up from his cubby, where he was changing into his own clothes, a burgundy sweater paired with dark blue denim. They’d clinched a victory against the Bears, 49-29, and the post-win buzz combined with the relief of the upcoming bye week filling the locker room was loud and joyful, meaning no one was paying attention to the conversation the pair were having. 

“It’s as good as the three that you showed me this morning. ”

“As good?” TK replied with a twinge of anxiety to his voice.

“It’s better, it’s perfect,” Carlos quickly responded, his main goal to quell any nerves TK had before they met Iris and Michelle at Carlos’s apartment. 

The girls had spent the game in one of the stadium’s luxury suites, and once he got back to the locker room, the quarterback noticed that his phone was full of photos taken by Iris, who had seemingly documented every second of the game. 

As TK finished buttoning the garment, he knit his fingers together, looking up at Carlos. The quarterback would give anything to take TK’s hands in his right now to help him calm the habit Carlos noticed TK did when anxious. 

“God, why am I so nervous? I feel like I’m meeting your parents,” TK said. He hadn’t met the Reyeses yet, and wasn’t sure if he ever would, but the the current feeling of fear deep in his gut had to be similar to what it would feel like to meet the people who raised the kind and giving person in front of him. 

Carlos chuckled, throwing a wink in the other man’s direction. “Not my parents, just my wife…and my sister-in-law.” 

TK groaned, letting out a short laugh.

Carlos looked over at the man, hoping TK would see his calm and steady breaths and mirror them. “Remember what I said. Iris can be blunt, but not malicious, and Michelle has a doctorate in sarcasm,” he said, leaning down to tie his shoe so he could be closer to TK without making it too obvious. “They’re going to love you, I promise,” Carlos whispered softly. 

***

Iris looked around the immaculate space of Carlos’s apartment. “This is a lot nicer than my last place.” 

“And where was that?” TK asked, trying to make small talk. The girls had gotten there a few minutes prior, the group making themselves comfortable in the quarterback’s expansive living room. 

“Under an overpass, then a mental hospital,” Iris responded bluntly, throwing a chocolate-covered almond into her mouth. 

“Right,” TK retreated quietly.

“Iris,” Michelle whispered, smiling politely back at TK.

“Like they weren't feeding you lobster every other night,” Carlos quipped, threading his fingers in with TK’s as they sat with each other on the couch. “Michelle was keeping me informed.”

“Of course she was,” Iris shot a glance at her sister. 

“So, TK, why running back?” Iris asked, crossing her legs as he leaned back in the chair across from him in Carlos’s living room. 

TK relaxed, shrugging with a smile as he grabbed a pastry from off of the coffee table. “I was the fastest kid in my little league with the best reflexes. It just made sense.”

“Don’t they make less than quarterbacks?”

TK stared at Iris quizzically, gears turning in his head. “I do okay, I mean, I live in the apartment next door,” he answered slowly, glancing at Carlos. “Plus, I’m still in my first year in the league.”  

“So it’s not because you’re short?”

“I don’t…think I’m short?” Carlos was only about two inches taller than him.

“So, TK,” Michelle quickly interrupted, a grin growing on her face as she glanced at the couple before her. “Carlos said your dad was a firefighter in New York?”

TK nodded, smiling back, feeling Carlos’s grip on his hand grow tighter. “He was. Carlos said you’re a paramedic?”

“Paramedic captain in Austin.” 

“That was my backup plan, actually,” TK confessed, looking down into the mug full of tea he was holding. “Always loved being around the firehouse when I was younger but being a firefighter just didn’t sound quite right to me.”

“Never too late,” Michelle joked. 

TK smiled, appreciating the woman’s energy. “If I have to retire early I’ll hit you up for a job application.” 

The group spoke for an hour longer, the trio of Michelle, Iris, and Carlos doing a combination of catching up and reminiscing on their past. The interactions filled TK with such joy; it was amazing getting to see glimpses of Carlos that he didn’t know about. 

“Remember,” Michelle tried to get out through giggles, “When Carlos took Iris as his date for senior prom and Mama Reyes kept trying to get a photo of y’all kissing,” the admission making the entire room laugh. “I still have that photo framed. The look of disgust on both of them is everything.” 

“I’m going to need you to send that to me,” TK smirked, “For…good reasons.” 

“Oh, absolutely,” Michelle replied, much to Carlos’s chagrin.

“Please, the less he has on me, the better,” Carlos whispered, the room erupting in another fit of laughter.

After a while, a silence blanketed the room before Iris cut through it, a smile on her face.

“You guys are so cute,” she gushed, looking over at Michelle before setting her eyes back on TK and Carlos. “It’s like you’re already married,” she paused for a minute. “But you’re not, obviously. Because that would be illegal.” Another pause. “Not because you’re gay, though.” 

Carlos chuckled nervously, wringing his hands together. They’d barely been together for a month . “We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it,” he smiled at Iris before looking down at his watch. “Should I take you guys back to the hotel?” 

As they said their goodbyes (and Iris snuck a few items from the bounty of snacks Carlos had prepared into her purse), she bounded up to TK, wrapping him in a tight hug before pulling back. 

“You’re perfect for him,” Iris whispered. 

TK took a step back as Iris’s words filled him with warmth. He wasn’t expecting such a response from Iris, but he was happy to be so welcomed by someone so important to Carlos. 

As they curled up in bed when Carlos returned, they recapped the day.

“She said I was perfect for you,” head resting on Carlos’s shoulder before looking up at the man. “Is that good? In Iris speak?”

Carlos shrugged. “She never said that about the one other boyfriend I had.”

TK nodded, taking in his words. “That must be good?” 

Carlos looked down at TK, smiling as he gently put his fingers under TK’s chin, pulling him in for a kiss. “Must be.” 

***

It had been years since TK’s ACL tear, and he was fully healed and cleared by every type of surgeon and therapist there was. Sure, if he was on his feet too long after a game or went a little too hard on the treadmill he would feel the dull ache in his left knee for a few hours after, but it would dissipate. Then came the bad days. They came more few and far between as days and years went on, but it didn’t mean they didn’t pop up now and again. 

Two days into their week off, TK woke up in his bed with a start, gasping for air as the pain started in his knee and spread up his thigh and down his shin. He thought back to the last few days, wondering what could have possibly caused this flare up but coming up empty. Nothing out of the ordinary with training, no bad hits during the Bears game. This was just one of those times.

Paralyzed by pain, he stared up at the ceiling and attempted to get his breathing under control, hoping it would subside eventually and he wouldn’t wake up Carlos, who was sleeping peacefully beside him.

As luck would have it, Carlos slowly opened his eyes, looking over at TK.

“Babe?” He whispered, reaching out towards TK.

“I’m fine,” TK replied, voice strained. “Back to sleep.” His words came out clipped as he focused on getting through the pains radiating through his leg. 

Carlos sat up, moving towards the other man and pushing his fingers through TK’s bedhead.  “What hurts?” 

TK attempted to take a centering breath, shutting his eyes tightly as another wave of pain washed over him. “Knee,” he said through gritted teeth. “It’s okay. Be over soon.” 

“Doesn’t look okay, TK,” Carlos looked down, eyeing TK’s pained expression and clenched fists. 

“I’ll be okay,” TK whispered, ignoring the tears streaming down his face from behind closed eyes. “Sleep please.” 

“Tyler,” Carlos replied, taking on a firmer tone. 

Damnit, the government name always got him. 

TK took a deep breath, peeling his eyes open and looking over at his boyfriend. “Ice pack in freezer.” 

“Tylenol?”

TK shut his eyes tight, shaking his head. “No pills.”

Carlos was taken back by the statement. After a few more conversations the pair had about TK’s addiction, followed by a couple more meetings for TK, Carlos had done his own research into it to make sure his boyfriend was comfortable. 

“Baby, acetaminophen won’t hurt you.” 

TK exhaled, opening his eyes slightly to look at the man beside him. “Can we just start with the ice please?” he whimpered. 

He knew, he fucking knew deep down that something like Carlos suggested wouldn’t hurt. It was something they tell you in rehab, in NA. Why wouldn’t he let himself take that step? Two regular Tylenol wouldn’t unravel eighteen months of sobriety. 

Carlos accepted the man’s request, slowly pulling himself out of bed and into TK’s kitchen, glancing over at the clock attached to the oven reading 6:08am. He wondered how long TK had been up trying his hardest not to writhe in pain and wake him up. The man quickly made his way back to the bedroom, climbing back into bed and moving closer to his boyfriend.

“Left knee?” 

TK nodded, his pained expression subsiding slightly once Carlos gently placed the ice pack on the area. Carlos moved his way towards TK so he was sitting up, back pressed against the headboard as he once again brushed his fingers through TK’s hair. 

“How long has this been going on?” Carlos broke the silence after some time had passed, letting the coolness of the ice pack do its job. He felt TK relax into his palm as Carlos’s hand rested on the top of his head.

“Woke up with it maybe an hour ago,” TK murmured, trying to focus on his breathing. “Didn’t want to wake you. It happens.” 

“How often?” 

“Not a lot,” TK attempted to sit up with a groan, Carlos helping him the rest of the way up. “Once every few months.” 

Carlos cast a sympathetic look towards him, bringing a hand up to cup TK’s face, softing rubbing his thumb across his cheek. “What helps?”

TK shifted, wincing as another flurry of pain erupted from his knee. “Ice it. Wait for it to pass.”

“Oh, baby,” Carlos murmured, moving his thumb from TK’s cheek to his earlobe, caressing it softly. “How long does this usually last?”

TK adjusted his position, slowly let himself lean into Carlos’s chest. “Couple of days,” he whispered through the pain. “It’ll be okay, promise.” 

Carlos pressed his lips to the top of TK’s head, whispering into the chestnut strands. “What can I do to help?” 

TK closed his eyes, letting his breathing even out as he settled against his boyfriend. “Be here. Replace the ice pack in a couple hours,” he murmured, slowly letting himself drift off. “Nancy may know some things, " he slurred, letting sleep take him. 

Carlos ran his fingers through TK’s hair once again, watching as the man’s chest moved up and down in even breaths as TK fell back asleep, every so often a moan escaping his lips. Carlos was in arm’s reach of his phone, waiting until 8am to text Nancy for advice. 

Carlos Reyes : Hey, you busy? 

Carlos took a deep breath before texting her again, trying to figure out how he was going to explain to Nancy why he was at TK’s apartment so early in the morning. Sure, he was out to her, and the woman was too smart to not know TK and Carlos’s current status, but it still felt like walking through an unmarked minefield. 

Carlos Reyes: Long story short, TK’s knee is acting up. He’s in a lot of pain. He said you may ‘know some things’. 

Nancy Gillian: And may I ask what you’re doing at his apartment this early in the morning? 

Carlos Reyes: Would you believe me if I said he texted me for help in a platonic fashion because I live next door?

Nancy Gillian: LMFAO

Nancy Gillian: Not in the slightest. 

Carlos sighed. He would never hear the end of this.

Carlos Reyes: Anyway, help??

Nancy Gillian: Chill, Loverboy. Let me stop by The Star and grab some things, I’ll drop them off. Has he taken anything yet? Tylenol? Advil?

Carlos Reyes: Refusing to.

Carlos Reyes: He fell back asleep though. That must be something. 

Nancy Gillian: Be there in thirty. 

Carlos Reyes: 402-B. Door will be unlocked. 

When Nancy arrived, TK was still asleep, nestled against Carlos’s chest as he snored softly. After slowly getting up to unlock the door for Nancy, Carlos felt his heart pound against his ribcage as TK immediately curled back up against him, fighting whatever pain the action caused him. He’d never felt so needed in life. 

“Are my boys decent?” Nancy called out, her voice causing TK to stir, his eyes slowly opening. Carlos peeked under the sheets they were wrapped in, thanking whatever God was up there that TK managed to fall asleep with underwear on.

“Bedroom.”

As she walked into the room, Nancy took in the sight before her, making TK scoff as he saw the smirk painted across her face.

“Swore I was gonna tell you eventually,” TK groaned, shifting so he was in a sitting position. 

“Sure you were, bud,” glaring at both of them before making her way over to TK’s side of the bed. “How’s that knee, scale of 1 to 10?” 

TK closed his eyes for an extended period before opening them again, trying to gauge the pain still radiating across the lower left side of his body. The ice pack had dulled the pain considerably, but every movement still sent shockwaves of pain across his body. “Seven.” 

Nancy looked at TK with silent permission to inspect the area, the woman slowly peeling away the sheet to inspect the area herself, slowly placing her hands on his knee before massaging it.

“Feels a little inflamed,” she said, taking her hands off of the area and rummaging through the bag next to her. “You know what would help?”

TK crossed his arms. “Rest? Ice?”

Nancy pulled a bottle out from her bag. “Advil.”

TK groaned for what felt like the eighth time that hour. “No pills.”

Nancy placed a hand on the man’s good knee. “Strand, I’m saying this as a medical professional who has dealt with more than one sober athlete in pain. A couple of these will not kill you,” she smiled, giving the right knee a squeeze before removing her hand. “As a friend, I’m letting you know that it’ll probably let you enjoy your bye week, and allow you to have a lot more hot, steamy sex with that quarterback boyfriend of yours,” her smile grew wider as she noticed both Carlos and TK blush violent shades of red. 

TK exhaled, breaths shaky as he looked over at Carlos, then to Nancy. He knew they were both right. He knew if for some reason he couldn’t handle it that Cooper was a phone call away, a meeting was down the street, Carlos was right next to him. He held out his hand, allowing Nancy to place two pills there, as Carlos handed him a water bottle. 

“I’ll leave this here,” Nancy said, placing the bottle on the nightstand before she looked up at Carlos. “Make sure he takes as needed, yeah?”

Carlos nodded, looking down at TK, who was leaning back against the headboard with his eyes closed. The quarterback walked the woman to the front door, exchanging quiet words before she left.

“I left a pair of crutches against the couch, in case he needs it,” she said. “Tell him to text me for an appointment before we leave for Green Bay next week.” 

“Will do,” Carlos answered, leaning against the doorframe as Nancy left the apartment.

“And for what it’s worth?” Nancy said, pulling Carlos in for a quick hug. “I better be the best woman at the wedding. He all but shook me down trying to find you after that LA game. I was essentially the matchmaker.”

Carlos blushed again, stuttering at Nancy’s thought. “That was barely a month ago, Nance.” 

She shrugged, throwing a mischievous grin Carlos’s way. “With your history? The phrase ‘When you know, you know’ doesn’t always apply to the people in the relationship, bud.” She pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before setting down the hall, leaving Carlos on his own with TK again. 

Carlos crept back into the bedroom and noticed TK fast asleep. As he climbed back into bed, TK slowly stirred awake at the movement across the mattress.

“Advil’s working,” TK whispered. “Down to a four.”

Carlos smiled, “Good. Nancy left crutches in case you need them, too. Told me to tell you to make an appointment with her.”

“I will,” TK said. “Right now, I just really don’t want to leave bed.” 

“And we don’t have to do that today,” Carlos replied. “Get some sleep, baby.” 

TK obliged, closing his eyes again and letting sleep take him. Carlos knew he’d eventually fall asleep himself, but right now, watching his boyfriend sleep was better than one of those meditation podcasts Paul was always sending him. Matching his breaths to TK, he found himself calmer than he had been in months.

After a while, he heard a noise from TK’s side of the bed. 

“You were playing with my hair earlier,” the man muttered.

“I play with your hair all the time, TK.”

TK snuggled close to Carlos, wrapping his arms around the other man’s thighs. “My mom played with my hair when I was hurt or sick,” he said softly. “It helped.” He took a few deep breaths before settling back in, closing his eyes. “I loved it.” 

Carlos smiled, looking down at his beautiful, stubborn, talented, strong boyfriend. He knew one day he’d be courageous enough to say those same words back, and that day would come sooner than he thought.

Chapter Text

“We should go out.”

TK had broken the comfortable postcoital silence between him and Carlos with the simple statement. 

He’d been thinking about it for a few days now. He was enjoying the time spent with Carlos on the field, in the weight room and in the blissful bubble they’ve created at their apartments, but TK would be lying if he wasn’t going a little stir-crazy. 

He understood why they kept everything professional, but damn , if TK didn’t want to sit at some shitty little Tex-Mex place with his boyfriend as they swapped tacos and TK made fun of the drop of queso that had nestled itself in the beard that Carlos had sprouted during their week off. One night of normalcy, like they were just a regular gay couple living in Texas, not nationally known sports figures. 

“Out?”

TK took this opportunity to reach out and trace patterns with his finger across Carlos’s chest. “Can’t I ask my boyfriend on a date?” 

The question caused Carlos’s lips to curl into a grin, the man taking TK’s hand that was resting against his chest and bringing it to his lips, pressing a kiss to his knuckles. 

“You can,” he responded, “But it’s not like we can go out in pub–”

“Baby, I don’t think it would kill us to go to Mattito’s and eat there together one time,” TK interrupted, pushing back an errant curl from Carlos’s forehead. “People will think we’re just hanging out as teammates. As besties, according to Buzzfeed,” he joked.  

Carlos took in TK’s words, thinking about the listicle Iris had sent to the group chat he had with her and Michelle, the woman including six heart emojis and at least eight crying laughing emojis.

 “16 Times TK Strand and Carlos Reyes Were BFF Goals!” The article consisted of game photos, the men high-fiving on the field, clips of their banter in post-game interviews, and TK’s cheeky comments on Carlos’s Instagram posts. TK’s favorite among them was the “🔥 PAPACITO 🔥 ” he had left on a recent photo the quarterback had posted in his game day suit outside of his apartment building. A photo that TK took and begged Carlos to post.

Carlos smiled back at TK, using his thumb to stroke the man’s cheekbone. Getting out for a night would be nice. Feeling normal would be nice. Most of their bye week has been spent back and forth between apartments, tangled in bedsheets and lounging across the massive sectional TK had finally gotten delivered after ordering it in July. It had been absolute bliss, but that time was quickly coming to an end as their training was scheduled to begin again in the next few days. Why not end their vacation with a bang? 

“Only if you want to, though,” TK whispered, interrupting Carlos’s internal monologue. 

“It could be nice,” Carlos said quietly. As he thought about it more, he did want to test the limits of what they could get away with in public. He has enjoyed the time spent with TK over the past month, but it would be nice to be in a place that wasn’t their apartment building or their job. 

TK grinned, scooting in closer and caressing Carlos’s chin with his thumb, pulling him in for a kiss. 

“Tomorrow night? Pick you up at 8?” 

Carlos laughed, rolling his eyes. “It’s a date,” he replied, returning TK’s kiss.

As 8pm rolled around the next day, Carlos hadn’t realized how serious TK had been about this date.

TK had slipped out of bed early, saying he was going to a meeting before running errands and heading to do some training at the Star. Carlos didn’t get so much as a text from his boyfriend all day; a bit concerning considering how clingy TK was. 

At 8:03pm there was a soft knock on the door. Carlos was greeted by TK Strand, the man who had shut down when Carlos made him a simple meal before a hook up all those years prior. The man who joined the Cowboys with such a rough and cold exterior, taking weeks to warm up to Carlos and the other players.

TK Strand, who was currently standing in front of Carlos with a bouquet of flowers in his hands.

Carlos leaned against the doorframe, a smile growing across his face. “What’s all this?” 

TK grinned, reaching out to hand the flowers over to Carlos. “Hey, I’m here to pick up my boyfriend, Carlos, for a date? Maybe you’ve seen him around, big brown eyes, ass that just won’t qui-”

Carlos interrupted TK, pulling him in for a kiss. “Shut up. Let’s go.” 

Mattito’s was a ten-minute walk from their building, the pair strolling down Welborn as they passed through their neighborhood. Dallas was normally chilly in November, so when Carlos felt his hand brush against TK’s as they walked, he couldn’t tell if the chill running up his spine was from TK or the weather. Carlos wanted to take TK’s hand so badly , intertwining their fingers and walking down the street together like it wouldn’t be plastered all over ESPN. One day. 

Soon enough they were sitting at a high top by the window, a bowl of queso between them as they waited for their meals. The conversation flowed just as easily as if they were in TK’s kitchen, bumping knees under the table.

“I don’t think you could handle my mother’s chile relleno, TK.” 

“I’ve had yours, and I have to assume it’s identical since I’m pretty sure she’s the one you learned it from,” TK replied, dunking a chip in the dip, winking at Carlos in the process. 

“I use less spice in mine because the only other person I cook for at the moment can’t handle it,” Carlos winked back. “My mother is far less forgiving and lenient when it comes to her recipes.” 

TK smiled, swirling his straw around in his water. “Do you think I’ll ever meet them?” He tried to pose it as an innocent question, knowing it was a heavy subject that Carlos wasn’t expecting to discuss over fish tacos, so he tried to lighten the weight of his words. “I mean like, not tomorrow or next month, but eventually?” 

Carlos stiffened a bit, running a hand through his hair before answering TK. He could always ignore the question, run to the bathroom, change the subject by asking TK what he thinks their best strategy would be against Green Bay next week. That would have been the old Carlos. That Carlos is dead, in a sense, as he thought about it. TK had opened up so many doors for Carlos that he didn’t even know could be opened. He’d never met someone he felt so safe around, that understood the situation between him and Iris, that didn’t push him to come out, or get upset that the day may never come. He wanted Carlos for Carlos, no matter what the entailed. 

He took a deep breath, grinning across the table at TK. In another universe, he’d be reaching over for his hand right now, rubbing it softly as he thought about his answer.

Thanksgiving was coming up, a major holiday in the Reyes household. Since starting with the Cowboys, the holiday was now celebrated at Carlos’s apartment instead of the family ranch in Austin. His parents, two sisters, and their families came up. Carlos would put them up at the Omni, and his mother would spend the night before cooking, making sure everything was ready to warm up for a Thanksgiving lunch before they head to the stadium to watch Carlos play in primetime. A newer tradition when it came to the Reyes Thanksgiving, but an exciting one nonetheless. 

The men were interrupted before Carlos could respond.

“Yo, Reyes! Strand!”

The men turned to see Paul Strickland making his way towards them, a woman trailing shortly behind him. TK and Carlos both straightened their posture, trying to erase any evidence that they were here as anything other than teammates.

Carlos let out a nervous smile. “Hey, Strickland.”

“What are you guys doing here?”

TK glanced over at Carlos before looking back to Paul. “Closest place to our building with tacos.”

Paul nodded, glancing between the two of them. “Forgot you were neighbors.” 

TK smiled again, reaching his hand out towards the woman standing next to Paul. “TK Strand.” 

“Asha Fulton,” she responded. “Heard a lot about you.” 

“Mostly good, I’m hoping,” TK replied, whipping out the signature Strand smile and charm.

“It’s gotten better.” 

Carlos laughed, looking over at TK before introducing himself to Asha. “Carlos Reyes.” 

“Now here’s a man I’ve heard nothing but good things about,” she mused, leading to a blushing Carlos. 

“Thank you, I appreciate it,” he responded, ignoring TK’s smirk in the background. “Want to join us?” In the couple of years that he had known Paul, he’d figured out that the man is really good at reading people. He figured it would be less obvious to Paul if they became a table of four instead of separating. 

Paul smiled, glancing over to Asha. “We’re good, bud, thank you though. See y’all Monday?”

“Yup,” Carlos smiled politely before patting Paul on the back. “Have a good weekend, y’all.”

Paul smirked at both of them, taking Asha by the hand as he led them to the restaurant’s patio.

As soon as the couple were out of earshot, Carlos turned towards TK, a panicked look on his face. “Do you think he figured it out?”

TK reached across the table to grab Carlos’s hand out of habit and slowly realized his mistake, instead re-routing so he was taking a chip out of the basket next to him. 

“I don’t think so, ba-Carlos,” TK said softly, resisting the urge to call him ‘baby’ as he’d gotten used to doing. “Besides, if he notices something, Paul doesn’t seem like the type to blab.” 

“He’s not,” Carlos replied, barely a whisper. “It’s just…” Carlos’s relationship with TK was one of the most important things in his life, and he didn’t want that to fall apart because of a teammate or his sexuality becoming public not on his own terms. 

“I know.” TK glanced over to the patio where Paul and Asha seemed deep in conversation. “It’s going to be okay.” 

***

“You said something about Thanksgiving?”

Carlos looked up at TK, head resting in his lap and a post-dinner movie playing on the TV in front of them. 

“Yeah, Thanksgiving,” Carlos replied, shifting so he was sitting next to TK instead of on him. He’d mentioned it on the walk home, never quite answering TK’s question about when the man would meet Carlos’s parents.

“My family comes up, my mother and sisters take over my kitchen the night before, I watch old games with my dad and he nitpicks every play, we eat ungodly early, then they come to AT&T to watch the game from my suite,” he looked over at TK with a smile. “Is Enzo coming for the game?” The Cowboys were playing the Giants on Thanksgiving for the first time in years.

TK looked down, fidgeting with the sleeve of his hoodie. “No,” he said quietly. “He’s taking Jonah up to Connecticut to see his brother. Plans were made before I got traded.” 

It was something TK hadn’t really thought about until now: playing for the Cowboys meant his Thanksgiving plans were already decided for him. Not that Thanksgiving was a big holiday in his household, anyway: Owen always worked to let other firefighters spend the holiday with their families, and Gwyn wasn’t a cook. It was normally just another Thursday for them. He had planned to get to the stadium super early that day to get some conditioning training in before kickoff, pretending like it was just another Thursday night game.

Carlos smiled, wrapping an arm around TK. “All the more reason for you to join me.”

“You’re sure?”

“It’s my apartment, TK. I can invite whoever I want. Besides, my mom will have enough leftovers to last until Christmas.” 

“Michelle and Iris coming?”

Carlos shook his head. “First Thanksgiving since Iris was found. They want to be together, just them and their mom.”

TK nodded in understanding, letting silence float through the living room. He shifted so he was directly looking at Carlos, green eyes staring into brown. “So if I was there…would I be there as TK Strand, running back for the Cowboys and your next door neighbor, or TK Strand, boyfriend?”

Carlos took a deep breath, rubbing his hands together. 

“Baby, I don’t know yet.” It was the truth. Carlos genuinely didn’t know if he would feel comfortable introducing him as his boyfriend until TK walked through the door of the apartment and introductions were made. “I won’t know until they’re in front of us.”

TK smiled, reaching over to gently touch Carlos’s chin with his thumb. “Okay.” 

Carlos cast a worried glance over to his boyfriend. “Okay?”

“Okay.” 

“But what about–” 

“Carlos, will you just take the yes?” TK wrapped his arms around Carlos, pulling him closer so he was resting against TK’s chest. “Next door neighbor, teammate, whatever. I know I said nothing ever stays the same but that doesn’t mean it has to change immediately,” TK planted a kiss on the top of Carlos’s head. “It’s only been a month, babe.” 

Carlos reached over towards TK, burying a hand in his hair with a smile on his face. Every time he felt worried he’d do something that would make TK slip away, he was reassured by him.

 “Yes, TK.” 

***

“I could have made that, Carlos.”

“Well, I can’t always call a play action, TK,” Carlos grumbled as they got back to their hotel room in Green Bay. 

A devastating loss in overtime against the Packers resulted in tensions between the whole team, but none more greater than between the quarterback and running back. 

“Come on, dude, it would have been the right call and you know it. We could have made that,” TK shot back. “Lamb was the one sixty yards away. Their defense is shit and I would have broken through.”

Carlos sat down on the bed, calmly putting his hands on his thighs. “A call was made, and it was a bad one. You know that goes, TK.” 

TK crossed his arms as he leaned against the hotel room door. “I’ve never made a call that cost us a game.”

Carlos glared at him. “Yet.” 

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You just haven’t had as much time to make a bad call, TK,” Carlos replied calmly. “Nothing more than that.” 

TK rolled his eyes, jaw clenched. Was Carlos just waiting for the day TK fucked up? The day he humiliated himself on national television, or the day he destroyed his sobriety? He could feel himself reverting back to his old ways, putting walls up and shutting down. He knew he should stop, and far back in the rational recesses of his brain, he knew Carlos meant nothing by it. Why did he feel the need to blow it up? 

 “So you think I’ll be a one-season wonder? Relapse and flame out halfway through playoffs? If I even make it that far.”

“TK, I never said tha–”

“I’m going on a walk,” TK mumbled, making sure to slam the door behind him. 

As soon as he did that, he realized his mistake, sliding down until he was on the ground, feet splayed out in front of him as his head knocked against the wall behind him.

Fuck.

He should have stopped and taken a breath before deciding to lash out.

He should have shrugged it off.

He shouldn’t have even brought it up.

He’d lost before playing for UT, he’d lost before playing for Rutgers, hell, they lost a month ago! TK remembers consoling Carlos after that game, the man blaming the entire loss on himself.

Which he’s probably doing now, too.

Shit.

TK brought his knees up to his chest, burying his head in between them. 

Breathe in, breathe out.  

Once he felt stable enough, he got off of the hotel floor, turning to face the door to he and Carlos’s hotel room, willing himself to open the door. 

Why couldn’t he?

The rational part of his mind knew that if he went back in right now and apologized, they’d be curled up in one of the hotel beds fucking each other senseless by the end of the night. Big boy communication, or whatever Marjan had told him before.

In the other part of his mind, the irrational part, the part that was currently taking over, TK knew he had blown things out of proportion. He had flung wild accusations at his boyfriend about how Carlos felt about him, knowing that they weren’t true.

 There might not be any coming back from this. 

So, instead of going back into his hotel room, he ran. 

Well, first he walked. Down to the hotel lobby and out into the burgeoning blizzard settling in the late Wisconsin night, deciding on laps around the hotel perimeter clear his mind. He was so in his head about what had happened between him and Carlos that he didn’t even realize he’d run smack into Nancy and Mateo until he was on his back, lying on the icy sidewalk.

“Fuck,” TK groaned, opening one eye and looking up at the couple.

“You good, bro?” 

“Yeah,” he mumbled, slowly peeling himself off of the ground, rolling his neck before checking himself over for any injuries. His knee was throbbing a little, but nothing that was going to set him back. 

“Everything okay?” Nancy asked as he stood up. “What are you doing out here?” 

“Just…” he looked around, shivering slightly as the snow began to fall harder. “Getting some air.”

Nancy looked over him cautiously, noticing he was wearing nothing but a hoodie and sweatpants. “Well, don’t stay out here too long. You’ll freeze. A coma won’t do you good come playoff season.”

“It’s fine, he’s from New York!” Mateo chimed in. 

Nancy smiled at her partner, pulling him in for a hug. “That’s not really how that works, babe.”

TK smiled politely at the pair, scratching the back of his head. He looked at his watch, noting that it had been an hour since he left the hotel room. He’d left his phone in the hotel room, along with everything else he’d brought with him. He hoped that Carlos was still up and even possibly worried about him, not that he thought he deserved it. 

“No, you’re right. I need to go back to my room. See you guys later.” 

“Later, dude,” Mateo said before walking off, pulling Nancy along with him. She called back to TK. 

“If you need anything, tell me?” Nancy shot him a look inferring she wasn’t talking about his knee. 

“Will do, Nance. Thank you.” 

She winked back, throwing her arm around Mateo as they walked away and TK made his way back to the room. 

Taking a deep breath, he pulled the hotel key out of his back pocket, about to slide it into the keyhole when the door started to open, startling TK. 

“I was just about to go out and check on you,” Carlos said quietly. “You never answered my texts.”

TK believed him, the man wearing his heavy coat. It weirdly made him feel better. 

“Left my phone,” he mumbled, sliding past Carlos and sitting on the edge of the bed closest to him. He barely registered the shifting of the mattress as Carlos sat down beside him. A silence covered the room for a good five minutes before Carlos spoke. 

“Are we breaking up?” 

TK’s eyes widened, clasping his hands together to hide their shakiness from Carlos. 

“I-I hope not,” he stuttered. TK exhaled before speaking again. “I was being a little bitch.”

Carlos smirked, and even that little smile calmed TK down almost immediately. “You were.”

TK grinned, sitting back down next to his boyfriend, pressing their thighs together. 

“I blew it up,” TK said quietly, leaning his head against Carlos’s shoulder, his heart skipping a beat when Carlos moved in closer.

Carlos looked down at TK, using two fingers to tilt TK’s chin up towards him. “Not entirely,” he replied, moving to run fingers through TK’s hair. “Just tell me what you were thinking.”

TK exhaled before he stood up and started pacing. 

“I was thinking…that maybe you saying that to me…in that moment it felt like this… thing between us, it was an elaborate ruse all along, that you were just…pulling me closer towards you, then waiting for me to fail in some type of…fucked up humiliation scheme with the rest of the team, which I know isn’t the case but that’s all my brain could think at that moment,” TK let out a shaky breath, “Because it wouldn’t be the first time that’s happened. So I lashed out when I shouldn’t have, and I’m sorry,” TK punctuated the sentence with a chuckle. “I can’t say I won’t do it again, but–”

Carlos reached out towards TK, pulling him into his lap and pressing kisses into his hair, damp with melted snow. 

“You weren’t wrong, you were closer,” he said softly, “I just–guess I was hoping for that one big play, you know?” Carlos nervously knit his fingers together. “A sixty yard touchdown pass that would win us the game. Get replayed for weeks on end on Sportscenter. Sometimes you make those snap decisions and hope for the best and…they don’t work out.” He pressed a kiss to TK’s lips before making eye contact with TK again.

“This, though?” Carlos replied, placing his hand on TK’s chest, “This isn’t a ruse. It’s real.” He moved his hand so his fingers were threaded through TK’s hair. “Very real.”

TK smiled, hooking his finger on Carlos’s shirt collar and pulling him in for a kiss. 

“It’s real for me too,” he whispered, deepening the kiss before throwing Carlos back against the mattress. Their flight back to Dallas wasn’t until later the next morning. They could kill a little time before bed.

***

“What are you thinking about?”

Carlos snapped back to reality and looked down at TK, whose head was pressed against his chest, the men spooning as they looked out the window at the snow. It had picked up since TK got back to the room, a full on blizzard swirling outside their windows. 

Carlos sighed. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much snow in my life.” 

TK stretched out before curling in closer to Carlos. “You get used to it,” he replied before sitting up, stretching out again. “This is my favorite version, though.” 

“Elaborate?” 

TK smiled at Carlos, pulling him closer so they had switched positions, Carlos’s head now resting against his chest. “In New York, it’s all gray and slushy and gross, because everyone is on the move through it all the time. The cars and the traffic, it all just…gets so fucked up immediately.” He sighed, a peaceful look on his face as he gazed out the window.

“But then there’s times like this when a snowfall starts in the middle of the night, like this, where everything is just…a blanket of white. It’s so peaceful, it’s…it’s what I wish my mind looked like sometimes, you know? Because most of the time my mind feels like that grey slushy wasteland.”

Carlos glanced up at TK, a soft smile on his face. “You know I’m here for both kinds, right? The slushy and the quiet.” He pressed his back into TK’s chest. “Even when your mind is like New York in the summer and everything smells like trash and pee like you keep saying.” 

TK giggled and ran his fingers through the man’s curls, soon replacing his hand with his lips, pressing a kiss to the top of Carlos’s head. He’d never met anyone so genuine, so willing to fix things when they’re broken, always looking to find a solution. As he thought about all the things Carlos made him feel, a growing pit in his stomach overtook him, realizing what all of this was leading to. 

He loved him. 

The pair sat in silence, Carlos’s breathing evening out as the repetition of TK’s hand through his hair lulled the man to sleep. TK hadn’t even realized Carlos was half asleep until he spoke.

“Carlos?” TK called out, looking down at the man in his arms. “Baby?” 

“Mmm?” Carlos hummed, turning around, half-opening his eyes to look up at TK.

“I just…” TK stuttered. Maybe now wasn’t the time to profess his love for Carlos. After a fight, in the middle of the frozen Wisconsin tundra? The love he was feeling for this man was something that needed to be shouted from the rooftops, or at least be said over a candlelit dinner.

“TK?” Carlos’s eyes were fully open now.

TK smiled, looking down at the man in his arms, bending down and pressing a kiss to Carlos’s lips. “Nothing, I thought I saw something outside but it was just a shadow. Get some sleep.” 

Carlos smiled, returning the kiss before burrowing himself further into TK’s arms. 

TK slowly exhaled, wrapping his arms around Carlos tighter than before. This was definitely someone he was never willing to let go.

Chapter Text

Thanksgiving was a bigger deal than TK anticipated. 

He didn’t think anything of it until he walked into Carlos’s apartment the day before, every inch of counter space taken up by grocery bags filled to the brim. 

“Is the rest of the team coming too?” TK asked as he slid his arms around Carlos’s waist from behind. “It looks like you bought out H-E-B.” 

Carlos turned around, smiling and pressing a kiss to TK’s forehead. “Andrea Reyes is physically incapable of cooking for the right amount of people.” He pauses for a second, smiling. “Five months in Texas and you finally know what a H-E-B is.”

TK scoffed, a grin growing on his face. “Need I remind you I’ve lived in Texas before?”

“You’re telling me you were actually grocery shopping and cooking in the dorms for those six months?”

TK grinned, moving closer towards Carlos and pulling him in for a kiss. “Point taken.” 

Carlos smiled back, getting to work and putting the groceries away, directing TK where to put what. 

“When will they be here?”

“Should be…” Carlos looked down and checked his watch, letting out a sigh as he looked forward. “Within the next hour. Mama texted me a while ago that they had just left the house. Both Ana and Louisa’s crew shouldn’t be much farther behind them.” 

TK looked over at Carlos again, noticing little nervous tics he only saw during team meetings after a loss or a close game. The fidgeting, the pacing, the scrubbing his hands over his face. TK knew that there were few things that could calm Carlos down. He walked over, rubbing Carlos’s shoulders before resting his chin there.

“It’s going to be okay,” TK whispered, adjusting his position and pressing quick kisses to Carlos’s shoulder. “Whatever you decide.”

Carlos turned around, a smile on his face as he pulled TK in for a hug, then pulling away gently. 

“I’m just really glad you’re here,” he responded quietly, brushing fingers through TK’s hair before a knock at the door startled them both, bodies turning rigid before turning towards the door. 

Carlos took a deep breath, and cast one last look at TK before heading to let his family in.

TK wasn’t sure which Carlos he was about to see. Quarterback Carlos Reyes, only seen by the Cowboys? Determined, loud, confident? Sports star Carlos? Whose subtle shyness and charm got him through every post-game press circuit, the Carlos who’s guest episode of New Heights was the second most watched of the year? Would he still be the Carlos he was when it was just him and TK? That’s the side of Carlos he considered to be the true Carlos: witty as all hell, completely carefree and unguarded (except for when it came to small things like where the dishes went or the exact type of sheets that went on his bed.)

 Only seconds until he found out. 

Suddenly, Carlos’s apartment was filled with joyous, rapidfire Spanish from a woman’s voice, who could only be his mother, Andrea. As they rounded the corner into the kitchen, TK straightened his posture, taking what was probably his eighth deep breath in ten minutes, and put a smile on his face. 

The merriment that had surrounded the front door slowly made its way into the kitchen, where a man and woman followed behind Carlos: $his mother and father. Andrea and Gabriel, TK thought, repeating their names in his head so he wouldn’t forget before they introduced himself. 

“Mama, Dad, this is TK, he’s –”

“One of the best damn running backs the Cowboys have ever seen!” Gabriel interrupted, walking over and grabbing TK’s hand and shaking it with vigor. “Gabriel Reyes, honored to meet you.”

TK smiled, quickly glancing at Carlos before turning the charm up to eleven. “TK Strand, nice to meet you, Sir,” he responded, “I appreciate the kind words.” 

Gabriel nodded. “I know you’ve made my son-in-law very happy with his fantasy team this year. I have a feeling you’ll be giving McCaffrey a run for his money come playoff–” 

“Okay, alright, mi amor, give him space to breathe,” Andrea interjected, all but pulling her husband away from TK. She grinned widely at him before speaking. 

“Andrea Reyes, nice to officially meet you, TK,” shaking his hand with less vigor than her husband. She shot a look at Carlos, who had been watching the encounter from the corner. 

$

“You didn’t think to warn your father you were having one of your teammates over?” 

Carlos shrugged, smirking. “I texted Ana and Louisa to warn their husbands. I didn’t think Dad would be an issue,” he looked down at his hands, kneading his fingers together before looking up at his parents. “TK’s family isn’t coming to the game, we’ve become…really good friends, and he lives next door and so…I invited him,” his words trailed off as a silence covered the room.

Carlos looked at TK, his dark brown eyes wide, and if TK was closer to him, he could probably make out the tears forming. TK returned the contact with a warm smile and a wink, seemingly calming down Carlos so they could continue the night. 

“I very much appreciate Carlos, and the rest of your family, for letting me join in on the occasion,” TK said, turning to Gabriel. “He let me know that normally you watch his old games, but maybe I could be that victim this year. We could watch some of my old films?”

Gabriel let out a hearty laugh, all but pulling TK by the collar into the living room and sitting next to him on the couch, talking animatedly about what he would have changed play-wise when it came to the team’s three losses so far this season. 

Carlos looked on, deep down hoping this wouldn’t change once Carlos let his parents know the truth. 

***

A few hours later TK, Gabriel, and Carlos’s brothers-in-law were in the living room watching some of TK’s old Rutgers games, as Carlos manned the kitchen with his mother and sisters. It was different than Carlos was used to, but it was just something that felt so… right.

“How long have you and TK been together?” 

His mother’s voice from behind him made him freeze, his breath quickening as he turned around to face his mother.

Her face turned to one of worry before she spoke again. “Relax, Carlitos. It’s okay if you’re not.” She rubbed his shoulder, “But the way you keep looking at him? You two are not fooling anyone in this kitchen.” Andrea smiled at her son. “Plus, we saw him rush by that one FaceTime a couple of weeks ago,” she said, winking.

Carlos blushed, unconsciously looking back at TK again before answering his mother. We. Meaning, both Andrea and Gabriel knew, and were okay with it.

“I was going to tell you both, I promise.” He exhaled, wringing his hands together. “Officially together since October. Casual before that.” He didn’t feel the need to get into it further than that with his mother. If he and TK went the distance, time would come for the complete story.

Andrea nodded wisely. “You love him.”

Carlos swallowed. He knew she was right, but he didn’t want to say it just yet. Not while everything was still fairly new, not while the season was still in full swing. 

“Um–I wouldn’t say–not ye-”

“ Callete,” his mother shushed him, bringing her hands up to his face, gently cupping it. “The time to say it will come, but you cannot deny your feelings for this man.” 

Carlos nodded, looking back at TK and his father. They were in a spirited conversation, TK listening intently as Gabriel pointed at the TV, most likely pointing out something on the field. A warm feeling washed over Carlos as he watched the scene play out in front of him. It was something that he could picture happening every Thanksgiving as the years went on, whether TK and Carlos were active players or well into retirement. 

He loved TK. He wanted a life with TK. 

And he was almost certain that TK loved him back.

***

They had a code word for if shit were to fully hit the fan.

 “Indomitable.” 

Not a word used in everyday language. Marjan didn’t even know the word existed, confusing it with ‘abominable,’ like the snowman. 

All she had to do was use it in a sentence, and that’s when they knew they were so, so , entirely, fucked.

‘Impossible to subdue or defeat,’ the dictionary said. 

It seemed appropriate. 

It was best to describe the media firestorm that would rain down on them if the entire world had found out that the Cowboy’s star offensive players had been in a secret relationship for months. At least they were afforded the luxury of being able to talk in person most of the time, so there was really nothing really that can be hacked, similar to what the First Son had gone through a few years prior.

The Waterloo Letters had leaked at the beginning of Carlos’s rookie season, and the world had barely had the chance to recover. Watching what the First Son and Prince of England had gone through was enough to make Carlos shy away from any type of relationship for the time being, at least until he felt like he could come out on his own terms.

TK had gotten a call from Marjan that morning; she knew Carlos would be right beside him. Their code word wasn’t used, which helped with nerves, but the mystery of the situation still filled them with a dread he hadn’t felt in months. Marjan had scared them enough to get to the Star two hours before they were expected at practice, separate cars, walking into the facility twenty minutes apart.

 Carlos looked over at TK, who was staring straight ahead at the art behind Marjan’s desk, absentmindedly picking at his fingers and jiggling his knee with intensity. Carlos wanted so badly to reach over and quell the man’s anxiety, but he wasn’t sure who was watching.

“We have a bit of a situation.” Marjan finally broke the silence as she walked in the room, gently sitting at her desk, placing a folder on top of it. She took a deep breath before she continued, looking at TK and Carlos with genuine concern.

“There…seems to have been a leak. From Thanksgiving.”

TK and Carlos looked at each other, racking their brains for anything incriminating that could have happened during the holiday. There wasn’t. At least, not to them. Marjan could tell they were trying to figure it out.

“Someone in the building sold footage from their Ring camera. You’re walking past their door with your family, Carlos, and–” 

“W-we’re neighbors,” Carlos interrupted quietly. “TK spent Thanksgiving with my family because his couldn’t make it–” 

“And I wish we could go with that story, Carlos,” Marjan said, ‘director of communications’ face fully on. “But in the footage–” she took a deep breath, trying her hardest to be professional, “Your arm is wrapped around TK’s.”

She opened the folder, presenting grainy photos of them. You could barely tell, but sure enough, there it was. Carlos’s muscular arm was thrown around TK’s shoulders, a soft smile present as TK threw his head back with laughter, reacting to something Louisa had said as they walked down the hallway. Carlos’s face was too full of admiration (and love, so much fucking love, Carlos thought), to even be considered the slightest bit platonic.

Carlos felt his heart drop into his stomach, looking over at TK, who glanced over at him before looking back at the wall. 

They had been so careful. They knew where the security cameras were in their building, and tried to keep their hands to themselves when roaming the hallway, only breaking that barrier when they got to their floor, their little corner of their building. 

They were safe, or at least they thought.

“W-what do we do now?” Carlos asked.

Marjan let out a soft smile, reaching for both of the men’s hands and giving them a quick squeeze, letting go before pressing her hands into the desk.

“So, I didn’t want it to come to this, but I think we may need to bring in an outside party.” Marjan cleared her throat, quickly scrolling through her phone before finding what she was looking for. She slid her phone across the table, showing TK and Carlos a photo of a well-known actress taking up the screen.

“Is that…Becky Woods?” 

“The one and only,” Marjan responded, taking her phone back before setting her eyes on Carlos.

“Cowboys are on a winning streak. You’ve won six of the last seven games, winning the last four in a row,” referring to their Thanksgiving win against the division rival New York Giants, as well as their other victories over the Vikings, Colts and Texans. “The Super Bowl is well within our grasp.” 

Marjan nervously picked at her fingers before continuing. “Simply put, Carlos, you’re hot shit right now,” Marjan paused, smiling at TK. “Not saying you aren’t, TK, but–” 

“Can’t exactly use the gay rookie addict as positive press for America’s Team,” TK muttered, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. 

“Not that we need any more positive press with a 10-3 record, but the higher ups want more eyes on the team as we near the playoffs.” Marjan took a deep breath before continuing. 

“And Becky, with her fanbase… being seen….with one of our star players…could bump viewership quite considerably,” she shrugged. “Get more fans interested in the sport. And get some heat off of any rumors between the two of you.”

TK suddenly stood up, all but knocking down the chair he was sitting in. 

“So you want Carlos to what…pretend to date a famous actress? For how long?” 

Carlos went to gently take TK’s hand, inhaling sharply when TK pushed his hand away.

Marjan cleared her throat, crossing her arms before leaning back in her chair. “Two games. Maybe three. Depends on how the rest of the season goes.” She exhaled before laying on more. “We might have to throw in a dinner date, maybe a film premie–”

TK scoffed. “Come fucking on, Marj.” 

“TK,” Carlos responded in a near whisper. “It might be worth considering. At least for a little bit.” 

He wasn’t sure if he was trying to reassure TK, or himself. Carlos couldn’t get the leaked image of him and TK out of his head. Sure, his family had welcomed TK with open arms after they made it clear that they were a couple, but if these grainy images made it to SportsCenter, would their teammates? Would the league? Would the world?

TK stared at Carlos in disbelief. “You can’t seriously be considering this,” he rolled his eyes at Carlos, looking away. He felt like they had hit a major milestone last week, only to be back at square one. 

Carlos looked over at TK, then back to Marjan. “What are you thinking, specifically?”

Marjan sighed, pulling out a notepad filled with her signature penmanship. “She has an event in Miami on December 17th. She’ll fly up to Jacksonville on the 18th for the game, be in a suite. You’ll leave together. Then–” 

Marjan was interrupted by the abrupt sound of TK’s chair crashing to the floor, followed by the door slamming shut and the deafening silence that followed. 

Carlos swallowed, looking down at the carpet, trying his hardest to memorize the flooring. He’d spent so much time in these halls and had never seen anything like it. Blue, gray, and white in a geometric pattern. Once he stared at it long enough, he realized the geometric pattern was hundreds of little stars, representing the logo of the team. Has it always been like that? There was no way he hadn’t noticed it bef–

“You gonna be okay?” Marjan’s voice entered his head, as he looked up to see her leaning against her desk next to him.

Carlos shivered, snapping out of whatever haze had taken over him once TK had made his exit. 

“It’s whatever,” he mumbled, scrubbing his hands over his face before looking at Marjan. 

At this point, though their romance was still fairly fresh, Carlos knew TK inside and out. 

Over the past few months of getting to know TK, growing from teammates to just friends to lovers, Carlos figured he knew what was in store: TK would call his sponsor, sweat it out in the weight room, and they’d talk it out later at home, and everything would be back to normal by the time they touched down in Jacksonville. At least, he hoped it would be. TK would eventually understand that this was temporary, that this was for them.

“Lay it all out for me, Marj.”

***

By Sunday morning, minutes before they boarded the team plane to Jacksonville, Carlos had only seen TK during practice, the running back avoiding almost all contact with him outside of their time on the field.

Somehow, even leaving the practice facility at the same time, TK’s car wasn’t in their building’s parking garage before Carlos got home, and they never bumped into each other in the hallway. Calls were left unanswered, texts left on read. 

At this point, Carlos was fed up. To him, what TK was doing was childish. He hadn’t given Carlos an opportunity to explain himself, or even just a quick message explaining he was safe, that he needed time and they would talk soon. Sure, Carlos didn’t date much but at least when he did, there was a clear message of “this is over.” 

He’d spoken with Becky a couple of times throughout the week, mainly exchanging pleasantries and working out logistics for Sunday. Just as her publicist orchestrated with Marjan, she’d left a cheeky comment on a gameday picture of Carlos he’d posted to his Instagram, starting a quick conversation and a buzz that there was maybe something between them. 

The plan was that she’d be in a suite decked out in some subtle Cowboys attire, cheering him on. After the game, win or lose, they’d leave together, whisked away to a nearby restaurant where her team had bought out the entire place in order for them to have a private dinner, minus the planned paparazzi waiting outside after they finished eating. 

Calculated and planned to the minute. This was how Becky lived her life; it wasn’t the first time she’d been in a situation like this. It made Carlos feel sick to his stomach knowing his family, TK, and the entire world was about to watch this play out. 

As he took his seat on the plane, he heard Paul’s familiar voice throughout the cabin.

“Happy birthday, 26!” the tight end shouted at a familiar face as he walked down the plane’s aisle, getting ready to take a seat next to Paul.

TK.

Carlos checked the date on his phone. December 18th. 

He knew TK’s birthday was soon, he didn’t realize that meant today. Carlos hadn’t even thought to buy TK a present. He chalked it up to the pain of the last week, his subconscious burying it deep so he wouldn’t be reminded. Of course, that was unavoidable. Carlos also knew that as soon as he got comfortable and opened his phone, he’d be accosted by a reel from the official Cowboys Instagram celebrating their hot, young running back’s big day, the post most likely being shared by his teammates and other sports outlets.

Carlos glanced up at the sound of Paul’s voice, inadvertently locking eyes with TK. The smile on TK’s face instantly faded before he hastily shoved his bag under the seat in front of him, shoving his headphones on before fully settling into his seat for the two hour flight. Carlos did the same, shakily settling into his seat before putting on his latest audiobook to help settle his nerves.

 An hour into the flight, Carlos decided to try his luck and open Instagram, knowing he’d be inundated with posts from the Cowboys, ESPN, and SportsCenter, all either celebrating TK’s birthday or speculating on the nature of his own relationship with Becky Woods.There was some of that, but there was one post that caught his eye.

It was a post from TK: a black and white photo of him around eight years old, dressed in full uniform and pads from his Pop Warner days, arms up in the air with triumph as he ran to the sideline, directly to the arms of a smiling woman, his mom. The caption made Carlos’s heart thud against his ribcage: 

TK26Strand: I thought the first birthday/holiday combo without you would hurt the most, but I’m finding out it might just get harder every year. Wish I was lighting both types of candles with you tonight. I know you’re shining bright up there. Love you forever Ma ♥️🕎

With a quick Google search, Carlos found out not only was it TK’s birthday, it was Hanukkah. 

Carlos started kicking himself. I should have known. Who doesn’t know their own partner’s birthdays and holidays? Was it the anger of everything that happened in Marjan’s office that made him forget? The sadness of someone so important to Carlos suddenly ghosting him? 

It wasn’t exactly a lightbulb going off in his head, but Carlos also realized he needed to come to terms with his own actions. 

Stubborn as a mule was a phrase he heard from his mother’s mouth quite often while growing up. There’d been many nights at the dinner table where he was there well past bedtime, staring at a plate of some vegetable he couldn’t bear the taste of. It’s the reason he had gotten so far in his career: his refusal to give up. Carlos was starting to realize the phrase applied here, too. 

Carlos was so set on his public image concealing his true self that he would do anything, even acting impulsively and employing some sham of a relationship. TK wasn’t the one destroying everything they had, it was Carlos. He thought by going through this with Becky he was protecting him and TK, but in fact was doing the opposite.

The quarterback had to make it right. Even if it meant anything romantic between them was no more, a friendship would suffice, though there would be pain at first. Nothing he couldn’t work through eventually.

A few deep breaths and Carlos started to make a plan. First, he opened his messages, opening his thread to TK. 

Carlos: Happy Birthday, TK.

Carlos: …  

Carlos: Happy Hanukkah, too.

Carlos glanced over to where TK was sitting, watching the man open his phone and squirm in his seat. 

TK: …

TK: …

Carlos watched the typing bubble disappear, turning the screen off on his phone and leaning back in his seat, eyes closed. Less than a minute later, he felt his phone buzz.

TK: Thank you. 

TK: Have a good game today. 

Carlos exhaled when TK’s message came through, adjusting in his seat and staring ahead, trying his best not to look over in TK’s direction. He moved on to the next phase of his plan, opening a new message with Becky.

Carlos: Hey, change of plans tonight. Can you do me a favor? 

***

The air in the visitor’s locker room was grim. The Cowboys blew a 27-10 lead, losing in overtime to the Jaguars. 

Falling to 10-4 for the season wasn’t a bad thing, but a win would have clinched a playoff berth for the second year in a row. The team’s postseason dreams were hanging on a loss from their division rivals, the Washington Commanders.

Carlos slowly and silently got dressed, avoiding any and all contact with his teammates. For the fourth time this season, he’d let everyone down, the game decided on an overtime throw from Carlos that went directly into the arms of a Jaguars defender, returning the interception for a touchdown.

“We’re PLAYOFF BOUND, BABY!” Judd came bellowing into the room, holding his phone out for everyone to see. “Commies lost.” 

The atmosphere changed in an instant. The silence that had blanketed the room disappeared, cheers erupting from every corner. Somehow, Mateo had found a bottle of champagne and began spraying it around the room, getting groans from most of the players still in the room.

“It’s just a playoff berth, rookie,” Judd said, grabbing Mateo’s shoulders. “Save it for the Super Bowl!” More cheers. 

“Yo Reyes! SPEECH!” Paul called out,  clapping as the rest of the team began chanting at their quarterback. 

A smile stretched across Carlos face as he made his way to the center of the room to his teammate’s cheers, noticing TK clapping quietly the the corner of his eye. The quarterback took a deep breath before addressing his team.

“Last year’s playoffs didn’t work out in our favor. And maybe this year won't either.” Carlos took a look around the room before continuing, “But that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t put our all into our next three games, and every game we make after that. Keep it in the forefront of your mind that this can all end in a second. I want that in your minds during every practice, every snap, every halftime.” 

Carlos looked around the room again, holding his hands out. Players gathered around him, joining their hands with his. 

“How bout them-” Carlos called out.

“BOYS!” the team responded, ending the chant with claps as they went back to their respective lockers. 

Paul followed Carlos back over to their lockers, side by side. Carlos took a look around, noticing TK’s absence. Carlos ignored the pang in his chest he got from seeing this.

“Heard you got a hot date tonight,” Paul said softly, winking over at Carlos. “How’d you pull Becky Woods, man? I thought she only went for like, the pretentious British tortured artist type.” 

Carlos let out a small huff, rolling his eyes with a smile as he shoved his gear into his bag. “She had to cancel,” he told Paul, slinging his bag over his shoulder and heading towards the exit. He had bigger plans than a quasi-date meetup with an international superstar. “I’ll catch you later.” 

On his way out of the stadium, Carlos texted Becky. 

Carlos: Sorry about that game outcome. Probably about 30 other teams you’d rather be watching tonight. Were you able to get what I needed? 

Becky: No problem, Carlos! They can’t all be winners. At least I got a cute jersey out of it 😉We should take a raincheck. Let me know next time the NFL script calls for a Cowboys win 🤣

Becky: Also I think that’s so cute what you’re doing for your teammate! I hope TK loves it. 

Becky: My assistant left what you needed at the lobby of the hotel. Ask for James. They looked a little confused but I’ll let you work that out with them. 

Carlos felt himself breathing easier for the first time all week. Now, he just had to hope his plan worked.

***

With all the commotion in the locker room, TK took the opportunity to slide out (hopefully) unnoticed, making his way through the tunnels of the stadium. 

Yeah, the playoffs in his rookie year was a big deal. The playoffs are always a big deal, no matter the level you’re playing. But all the celebration, all the camaraderie, it just reminded TK that he was alone.

Couldn’t share it with his parents, obviously. Enzo had sent a congratulatory text, including a picture of Jonah in his brand new Cowboys gear, a tear forming in TK’s eye seeing his little brother in his own #26 Cowboys jersey. He knew that killed Enzo as a lifelong Giants fan. It just reminded him even further that the only family he had was thousands of miles away.

Trade deadline was long past, but maybe he could blow the rest of the season, get released and try to sign with the Giants next season. Do something fucked to get Jerry and the rest of the front office to get rid of him. God, he would even be okay with going to the Eagles. Rivalry aside, they seemed to have a great culture, Philly sports fans were passionate, and they were also heading for a deep playoff run. Maybe he could even go to the Jets, he was sure he could try and turn that team around. Anything to be closer to what remaining people he had left.

TK pushed it out of his mind that not even a week prior, he had a family in Texas. Sure, he still had Paul, he had Marjan, but until recently, he had Carlos, and everything that came with him. After Thanksgiving, for the first time in a long time, TK could see a future. He could see Carlos eventually taking him to his family’s ranch for Christmas, a loud and vibrant occasion. Talking shop with Gabriel, whether it be the latest case he was working on, or TK’s form in last week’s game. All of that gone in an instant, and he wasn’t sure who’s fault it was.

TK’s phone interrupted his train of thought –a phone call from Marjan.

“Playoffs berth on your birthday-not a lot of people accomplish that!”

TK scoffed, “We got our asses handed to us tonight. Doesn’t really feel like a celebration. Plus, there’s 52 other people on the team you can celebrate with.”

“And of those fifty two, I only deeply care about less than five of them, including you. And teams get their asses kicked all the time, doesn’t make the playoff accomplishment any less important.”

TK smiled. This statement alone helped TK push some of those thoughts about trade requests down deeper. He took a deep breath before he responded to Marjan.

“I fucked up.” 

“TK, what?” Marjan’s tone grew serious. “Do we need to have a more private conversation?”

“What?” TK shook his head, forgetting she couldn’t see him. “No, Marj. I’m fine, I’m just–” he took a deep breath. “I miss Carlos.”

“No shit.” 

Another eyeroll from TK. “We both fucked up, didn’t we?”

“Well,” Marjan started, “Yes. And no. But mostly yes. But mostly, I think this could have all been solved if a certain running back didn’t dramatically storm out of my office as soon as this Becky thing was revealed.” 

TK sighed. “It would be nice if you weren’t right so much of the time, you know?” 

Marjan chuckled, “Oh, I know.” There was a pause before TK responded.

“Do you think it’s too late? For me and Carlos to …be okay?”

“TK, it’s barely been a week. Just talk to him.” 

TK exhaled, savoring Marjan’s words. The season seemed to drag on and go by in an instant.

“Wish me luck?”

“I don’t think you’ll need it, bud.” 

***

Somehow, by the grace of God, Carlos got to his and TK’s hotel room first. This put his plan into motion, though he worried if TK would even return at all.. After stopping by the front desk to grab the supplies Becky had gotten together for him, Carlos got to work. 

An hour and a half later, Carlos was done. A bunch of balloons in bright colors lay on the floor, streamers taped to the ceiling. A small cake sat on the desk closest to the window, a few candles stuck in them, waiting to be lit. An electric menorah sat in the windowsill behind the desk, blue and silver garland placed precariously around it. All that was missing was TK. 

Carlos started pacing, sure that if he did this long enough he’d burn a hole into the carpet. He started to spiral.

This was a mistake. A total, colossal, idiotic mistake. Either he’s not going to show up, and I’ll feel like an idiot. Or I’ll show up, and he’ll hate it, and I’ll look like an idiot. Or–

“Hey.”

Carlos was so in his head that he didn’t even hear TK enter the room.

“H-hey,” he responded, gulping as TK looked around the decorated hotel room.

TK had a small smile on his face, throwing his bag on the bed closest to him before walking towards Carlos. “What’s all this?” 

“Um, I, um, it’s your birthday, and Hanukkah, and we fucking lost tonight but you have lost so much more than just a stupid fucking game, and I’m so sorry, about ev–”

“Shhh,” TK hushed Carlos, slowly reaching out and cupping Carlos’s jaw with a shaking hand. “No apologies. At least not right now.” He pulled Carlos closer and closer, and before long their lips were touching, TK initiating a soft kiss. Carlos returned it, gently pushing TK towards the bed, smiles spreading across both of their faces.

***

Hours later, and TK and Carlos were sitting up in bed, legs intertwined , sheets wrapped around them haphazardly. Carlos was holding TK’s birthday cake, candles lit, ready for TK to blow them out.

“Please, do not sing to me.” 

Carlos cocked his head, grin spreading. “I know I’m not the best singer, but come on, TK.”

TK shook his head, smiling. He’d missed this, even if they’d only spent a few days apart. “I’ve never liked being sung to, even as a kid,” he looked down, the statement bringing up a memory. “I cried every year at my birthday party. My mom said they finally figured it out at my fourth birthday party when she brought out the cake, and I said ‘ENOUGH!’” 

Carlos laughed, gazing at TK. “Well, in that case, here is a cake. There happens to be candles on it. Blow them out, make a wish, do whatever you want.” 

TK grinned back at him before closing his eyes and blowing out the candles, swiftly swiping a finger through the frosting and wiping it on Carlos’s nose. 

“Hey,” Carlos giggled, wiping the icing from his nose. “Uncalled for.”

“Yeah?” TK said, quickly placing the cake on the side table before crawling back towards Carlos. “What exactly are you going to do about it?” 

Carlos placed a quick kiss on TK’s nose, smiling before leaning back in bed. “Haven’t decided yet,” he said, eyes closing. “Should probably sleep on it.” 

TK smiled, face turning solemn as he lightly traced Carlos’s abs, just barely covered by the sheets.

“I love you.”

Carlos cracked one eye open before fully waking up, shifting himself so he was sitting upright, staring at TK and processing the statement. TK spoke again. 

“I understand if you’re not there, because we still have a lot to work out, but,” TK ran his fingers through his hair. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t ha–” 

Carlos broke into a smile, reaching towards TK to gently place a hand on his chest, bringing it up to cup TK’s face. “Hey, hey, calm down,” he replied, quieting TK’s thoughts with a slow kiss.

“I love you too.”

Chapter Text

After Jacksonville, everything continued to change for the better.

A Christmas Eve win at home against Philadelphia, their biggest divisional rival, further cemented them as one of the top contenders for a deep playoff run. Murmurs were going through the locker room that Carlos was in the running for league MVP at the end of the season, with TK having a shot at Offensive Rookie of the Year. 

The locker room had a vibe that Carlos hadn’t seen yet–even last year when they won the division for the first time in three years. Everyone was excited, which made the team gel together, play together better. Everyone seemed to be on the same wavelength, letting Carlos exhale and enjoy it a bit.

He and TK were stronger than ever, even if it had been one short week since they celebrated TK’s birthday and Hanukkah in Florida. They had more open communication with each other, staying careful and under the radar when not in the safe cocoon of their apartments. It made Carlos confident enough to ask TK to spend Christmas with his family. 

The ranch would be a safe place, Carlos thought. No cameras, and his family wouldn’t ask too many questions. The news had already spread throughout the Reyes clan that TK had spent Thanksgiving with Carlos, and that he was a lot more normal than some of the press painted him to be. Besides his immediate family, they only saw teammates who had played together in college forming a close friendship while playing in the pros together.

“Well, after Thanksgiving, it would be stupid of me to say no to your mother’s cooking ever again,” TK replied as they lay in Carlos’s bed the night of their win against the Eagles. TK punctuated his sentence with a kiss to Carlos’s nose. “What’s Christmas like at the Reyes family ranch?”

Carlos smiled, playfully pushing TK onto his back and softly tracing TK’s chest. “Well, when I’m in town to celebrate, it’s pretty much like Thanksgiving, except you add in about thirty more cousins, twelve more aunts and uncles–”

TK’s face fell flat. “You’re joking.” 

Carlos sighed. “I wish I was.” 

Even when his parents were alive, TK never had that experience. Even with the fact he didn’t celebrate Christmas, his blood relatives were few and far between. He knew his dad’s dad had left the family when Owen was fourteen, shortly after Owen’s younger brother had died at age ten. His mother was an only child, and TK’s grandparents died when he was a toddler. Sure, there was Enzo’s extended family, but he never felt welcome. They were never fans of the fact that he and Gwyn never married, even though Enzo had a big part in how TK was raised. 

“I’m sure it’s nice,” TK responded quietly.

“Oh, I’m not saying it’s not,” Carlos said quickly. “It just may take you three or four years to learn everyone’s name.” 

TK smiled, reveling in the fact that Carlos saw TK joining him at multiple family occasions. Of course, he found this the perfect time to do one of his favorite things: pushing Carlos’s buttons.

“You love me,” he teased, watching a smile grow across the quarterback’s face and a blush creep up his neck. “You see me in your life long enough to meet all forty thousand of your family members.” 

Carlos’s smile stayed as he pulled TK into his arms, the man’s back to his chest. 

“I do love you. But I mean–it won't be–like…like that… not yet. I’m just inviting my teammate to a holiday gathering, to their knowledge, right now. Not because–not because they won’t approve, they know I’m gay, just because–we had such a close call this month. I know my parents haven’t told anyone else in the family, but there’s just too many loose lips, especially my Tia Lucy and don’t even get me started on Tio Domingo and my cousin Carla–” 

TK looked up and cut off Carlos’s nervous rambling with a kiss, deep enough that he felt Carlos’s heart rate slow with the action.

“Relax a bit, please babe? It’s okay. ” TK kissed Carlos again before sitting up, pushing the sheet away from him. “I figured.” After a pause, TK looked back at Carlos, a confused look on his face, the cute one that Carlos just could not get enough of . 

“Maybe you can ask everyone to wear name tags?” 

“I’ll try my best.”

***

TK felt his stomach flip as they pulled up to the Reyes family ranch after the three hour drive from Dallas. The main house was surrounded by a gaggle of cars, with people spilling out onto the front porch. 

“You weren’t kidding.” 

Carlos shrugged, watching as he saw his cousins and aunts and uncles waving frantically to him from the porch, the telltale Camaro signaling the arrival of the family superstar. 

“I promise it’s not bad once you get in there,” he responded, putting the car in park and reaching over to squeeze TK’s knee. “I’ll stick by you the whole time.” 

The promise was short-lived, TK immediately being grabbed in the opposite direction by Carlos’s brother-in-law, already surrounded by Reyes family members asking him all sorts of questions, to how he was enjoying his time on the Cowboys, to yelling about previous games and ways they would have done things differently. He’d once again warned his parents and brothers-in-law that TK would be coming with him for Christmas Day, since he had no family plans of his own.

Carlos watched as TK smiled politely, answering all of the questions he could, as his younger cousins tugged at TK’s pants, wanting to know what it’s like to play in the NFL, if he would play with them in the backyard and give them tips for their little league games. Yes, there had already been a professional football player in the family for the last three years, but that was just old cousin Carlos. TK Strand, the hot new rookie, coming to Christmas lunch was an entirely different ballgame. 

“How’s that all going?” Andrea asked in a hushed tone as she directed Carlos toward the kitchen, quickly getting him to work chopping up vegetables.

Carlos smiled as he pulled out a chef’s knife from the knife block, “It’s going really well.” He didn’t need to bring up Becky and everything that happened post-Thanksgiving, even though he was sure his mother had seen something about it. “I mean, he agreed to be here.” 

“And you let him out of your sight so quickly,” Andrea tsked, “Your tios will eat him alive.”

Carlos glanced through the door of the kitchen, where his Tio Domingo had cornered him on the couch with his phone, no doubt showing TK photos of him from decades ago when he was a walk-on wide receiver at Texas Tech. TK looked at the photos with rapt attention, and Carlos felt his heart swell in his chest.

“Looks like he’s fitting in well,” Carlos remarked, moving the chopped vegetables from the cutting board to a bowl. “I think everyone’s just excited to meet an NFL player that isn’t me.”

“ Callate, ” Andrea replied, taking the bowl from him. “Having you at any family gathering is exciting.”

Carlos smiled, knowing that was true, since his appearances were few and far between during the season. He was lucky to have been drafted so close to home; many of his teammates, like TK, weren’t as lucky. 

“You were right, by the way,” Carlos mentioned, leaning against the sink as his mother finished plating the meal. “I do love him.” 

Andrea smiled. “Then I hope we see him next Christmas, too.” 

***

Long after they had eaten, Carlos sat on the back porch with his father, watching on as TK played in the yard with the younger family members. Carlos had his time with them in the yard before, tapping out once his younger cousins complained he was being too hard on them, asking shyly if TK could play with them instead. Carlos was happy to oblige.

“So that’s still going well huh?” Gabriel asked, leaning back in his lawn chair. 

Carlos nodded, tensing a bit. Since coming out to his parents at age seventeen, he’d never had a conversation about his love life with his parents–ever. Now he was having two in one day. Though both his parents had acted the same, ignoring this news all those years ago when Carlos came to them, young and scared, it was always easier with his mother. A lot of the time, it seemed like she knew his feelings before he did. His father was another story, harder to read. 

“It is.” 

“TK’s a nice kid. Solid athlete, seems to have a good head on his shoulders, especially after everything he’s been through.” 

“He’s pretty great.” 

Gabriel fixed his posture, sitting up straighter in his chair. “How long do you think this is going to last?” 

Carlos stared at his father,  glancing at TK in the yard, who was being tackled by his nephew Liam. TK dramatically fell to the ground, pretending an eight year old who was barely four foot six was capable of throwing him to the ground the same way a three hundred pound defender could on any given Sunday. 

“I mean, it’s still new, we’re just taking it as it goes–”

“What happens if this gets out?” Gabriel pressed. Carlos was certain he’d seen something about Becky and the Jaguars game on SportsCenter. “What happens to your career if they find out that you’re dating one of your teammates?” 

Carlos gulped. Yes, after the conversation with Marjan post-Thanksgiving, he had put more thought into this. It’s why he and TK were taking more precautions when outside the bubble of their apartments. 

“I-I–there’s a plan–” He thought about Marjan’s binder.

“I think that plan should change.”

Carlos looked at Gabriel, brow furrowed. It made him think about how much TK loves Carlos’s confused face, how he would gently slide his thumb over the crease that formed in between his eyebrows, kissing it and breaking away with a grin. 

“What do you suggest, then?”

“Just…keep your head down. Focus on the game. Next season, I don’t want you to let in any more distractions.”

“So now TK is a distraction,” Carlos scoffed, thinking about how open and welcoming his parents had been at Thanksgiving, and now at Christmas. How his mother had told them they had known about his and TK’s relationship all along, how happy they were for him to have finally found someone. All of it now seemed like a lie.

 “Don’t worry, I won’t bring him around for Easter.”  He abruptly got up, not letting his father get another word in.

***

“TK?”

TK stirred next to Carlos in bed, the night after spending Christmas at the Reyes ranch. Carlos hadn’t slept yet, replaying the conversation he had with his father on a loop in his head. 

“Mmm?” TK mumbled, turning over in his sleep. 

“Baby,” Carlos whispered, gently nudging TK. This conversation couldn’t wait until morning.

“What is it?” TK groaned, finally opening an eye and sitting up in bed.

“I think I want to come out…about me…and about us.” 

Of all the things TK was expecting to hear Carlos say as they lay in Carlos’s bed at… 3:18 in the morning?

They’d gotten back from the Reyes ranch earlier that evening, ordering in Chinese food and watching movies. They may have spent Christmas with Carlos’s family, but TK was not going to break his tradition of Chinese food on December 25th, something he’d done every year since he could eat solid foods.

“Wha-?” TK mumbled, squinting awake. “Are you sure?”

Carlos nodded, exhaling and fidgeting with the drawstring of his pajama pants. “That conversation my dad and I were having? That was him telling me to keep…this part of myself hidden forever. Keep it going for at least as long as I’m in the league. That could be another decade, another fifteen years.” he took in a shaky breath. “He insinuated he wanted me to break up with you.”

“So…you’re saying fuck that and doing the exact opposite? I mean, I fucking hope you are.” 

“I mean…yeah?” Carlos rolled his neck. “I mean…look how much trouble this has been just in the last two months for us. The miscommunication, the near-PR disasters, the fighting…the sneaking around isn’t going to be feasible for years, TK.”

“No need to tell me that,” TK muttered, finally awake enough to look directly at his boyfriend. “So how are we gonna approach this?”

“Well,” Carlos continued, “Iris got a job at the shelter she used to live in. Has benefits now. So, we’ll get divorced. We can probably even get it annulled. Then we’ll talk to Marjan, see if she can come up with a comprehensive plan of attack. Probably already in her binder. But I think depending on how far we make it in the playoffs, we do late February, early March. Press conference. The season will be over, free agency won’t be in full swing yet. It’ll be that perfect sweet spot.” 

TK smiled, reaching for Carlos’s hand. “It’s a big step to take.”

“Do you want to take it?”

TK nodded enthusiastically, gazing at Carlos with affection. “I do, as long as you do.” 

“Would we be making the right decision?” Carlos was confident enough, but there was always that feeling in the back of his mind that maybe his dad was right.

TK squeezed Carlos’s hand. “What does your gut tell you?”

It was something TK and Carlos had discussed in the past. As meticulous as he could be, Carlos’s gut told him to do a lot of things.

To scramble on 3rd down. To ignore whatever play Grace told him and telling the huddle another. Throwing a Hail Mary to CeeDee for a game-winning touchdown. Hell, it told him that TK and everything that came after would be worth the risk. 

His gut was also telling him that the impact of being the first openly gay quarterback in the NFL, to come out to the world and let them know he was in love with his teammate, would be worth the risk of disappointing his father. 

Carlos smiled. “My gut tells me to do it.” 

TK grinned back. “Gut’s not normally wrong.” TK sat up a little straighter, his face turning serious as he took Carlos’s hand in his yet again.

“I can’t tell you it’s going to be easy. If I’m being honest, it’ll probably be worse on you than it was on me. I was–am—just some rookie. You’re the face of the Dallas Cowboys.”

Carlos swallowed. “I know.” 

“And the hell they’ll put us through for keeping it a secret the entire season. They’ll probably try to get us suspended, released, try to get one of us traded…”

“I know.” Carlos was still listening to his gut, knowing this was the right decision for him, for them, but the cons still made the prospect terrifying.

TK gave Carlos’s hand another squeeze, bringing it up to his mouth for a kiss before gently placing it back down. 

“But I know you, and I know the outside noise, and all the bullshit that comes with making such a historic and brave statement to the world will be hard to drown out. It’s going to make it feel like it’s not worth it–but that’s all it is. Outside noise. And what’s between us?” TK pointed at his bare chest first, then Carlos’s, “Is real and strong enough that it can survive whatever the world throws at us,” TK hooked a finger under Carlos’s chin, pulling him for a soft kiss. “And?” TK pulled away, cheeky grin spread across his face, “I will finally be able to plaster you across my Instagram without a care in the world.” 

Carlos smiled at TK’s pep talk, knowing it was exactly what he needed to hear. Outside noise, while tough to tune out, didn’t mean a damn thing when he had TK by his side.

“I just–you’ve already been through so much, I–”

“Hey, hey,” TK shushed his boyfriend, pulling him to his side of the mattress so that Carlos was in TK’s arms. “Nothing we can’t handle together.” 

Carlos relaxed into TK’s chest, breaths slowing as he fell back asleep, feeling safe in TK’s arms. With this decision made, he couldn’t be more excited for the future.

***

“Well hey there, handsome. Long time, no see.” 

TK rolled his eyes with a smile as he walked into the physical therapy room. “You literally saw me three days ago, Nance.” 

Nancy shrugged, patting the massage table next her, signaling for TK to get on it. “Yes, well, that was on the sideline. You haven’t been in to see me for conditioning in a few weeks,” she admonished him, TK wincing as he got up on the bed. She wasn’t wrong. He’d skipped out on a few stretching sessions to spend extra time in bed with Carlos. 

“I mean, can you blame me?” 

“I really can’t,” she winked, taking TK’s knee and stretching it. “I’d take a few extra minutes in bed with Carlos Reyes over this any day.” 

TK blushed, looking around to see if there were any possible eavesdroppers. An 8AM appointment usually meant Nancy and TK had the room to themselves. 

“How are you and Mateo?” The sentence came out strained as a twinge of pain sent shockwaves through his leg. 

“We’re really good,” Nancy replied, “We’re enjoying things as they come, not rushing.” She noticed TK’s grimace. “That hurt?” 

TK nodded, stretching his leg out straight himself. “Yeah, I must have tweaked it the other day.” Nancy shot him a cheeky look. 

“Slow your roll, I was playing in the backyard with Carlos’s nephews.” 

“Oh,now that is so much more interesting than your sex life,” she said, massaging his knee. “You met his family?” 

“I went down to Austin with him for Christmas, as friends, to them, I guess,” TK admitted, “It was…really nice.” He left out the conversation between Carlos and Gabriel, how Carlos was being asked to keep part of what made him who he was hidden. He and Nancy were close, sure, but that conversation barely involved him; he didn’t need to get others involved too.

“ Christmas!” Nancy exclaimed, dropping his leg with a thud, apologizing as TK groaned, “So it’s serious.” 

TK looked up at the ceiling, silently counting the individual tiles as he thought about it. Yes, they were serious. In just a couple of short months, the entire world would know about their relationship. In this world, that was as serious as you could get. Carlos was about to put it all out on the line for them, the biggest step of his career, and TK hadn’t done anything in return. 

“I think I might ask him to move in with me.” 

To TK, this was the most logical ‘big step’ he could take in return. They spent nearly all of their time at Carlos’s apartment. Even though TK’s front door was only steps away, it was starting to feel too far away, too foreign. Nothing in 402-B felt like home; at this point it was basically just a massive closet. The only time he spent more than ten minutes there was when he was checking on Lou 2, though he was considering asking Carlos if he could move the lizard into his apartment. 

This apartment never felt like home, but Carlos did. Things were already moving fast enough in their relationship, why not take this next step?

Nancy finished the massage on TK’s knee and set it down softly this time. “That’s a big step.” 

TK sat up on his elbows. “I think it’s the right one.” 

The other night, TK had told Carlos to go with his gut, something he wishes he could reciprocate. Unlike Carlos, TK couldn’t trust his gut. His gut had failed him monumentally in the past, leading him down unkempt alleyways and into failed engagements. He tried to make all decisions now with logic and clarity. For him, moving in with Carlos was the most logical thing he could think of. The way they fit together, it just felt right.  

“You’re down so bad, dude,” Nancy replied, helping TK sit up as she started another round of stretches. “I love seeing it.” 

****

Carlos had woken up to an empty bed and a quick text from TK to let him know he was heading to The Star for an early morning stretching session with Nancy, the backyard pick-up game wrenching his knee a bit. The quarterback decided to take this as a sign for an impromptu coffee date with Grace. With the season in full swing, combined with their own personal lives, their previous biweekly outings had become more and more scarce.

“You’re going to have to start borrowing Judd’s Cowboys gear for game day soon,” Carlos joked as Grace met him outside of White Rhino Coffee, a shop halfway between Carlos’s apartment and Grace and Judd’s home. “You look like you’re about to burst.”

Grace rolled her eyes, easing herself into the chair opposite him. “You don’t think I haven’t thought about that?” She clasped her hands around her stomach, growing bigger by the day. “I want us to be playing football in February, but thinking about getting to Arizona and calling plays for a Super Bowl at 36 weeks pregnant makes me want to tank every drive as soon as we get to the Wild Card.”

Carlos laughed, taking the stir stick out of his latte and breaking it into tiny pieces. “I wouldn’t blame you, but you do know you have like, several assistants that could help you out, right? And a head coach?”

“Do you think I would trust any of them with an offense against Kansas City’s defense?” The Chiefs were favored to be AFC Champions this season, and with each game they played that was becoming more and more likely. Patrick Mahomes was the only person in front of Carlos in the running for league MVP.

“Fair enough.” 

There was a pause in conversation as Grace sipped her tea. “How are you and TK?”

Carlos smiled, knowing the conversation he would have with Grace about his relationship would be leaps and bounds better from the one he had with Gabriel on Christmas. “Really well,” Carlos looked at his coffee cup before making eye contact with Grace. “Actually, I’m going to come out at the end of the season, and we’ll go public with that.” 

A giant grin spread across Grace's face before changing to a more serious expression. “That’s big,” she said, scooting her chair in closer. “You sure you’re not rushing it?”

Carlos thought about it briefly before responding. “Nope,” he said with a sense of finality, “We’re sure.” There was a sense of pride in his chest using the word we. He couldn’t wait to get a lot more use out of that. 

“Well, y’all need to stop making these decisions, you’re losing me a lot of money,” she grumbled, pulling out her phone. “Judd bet me a hundred bucks there’d be a serious step between y'all by March.” 

“Judd just wants your baby to have two amazing godfathers, that’s all,” he teased, Grace shooting him a glare. 

“The last thing I need is an offensive lineman, a quarterback, and a running back convincing my child to enter this sport too.” 

Carlos shrugged, knowing the baby was going to enter the sport no matter what. Judd was one more season away from retirement, but Carlos knew he already had his choice of broadcasting jobs to pick from. Grace would be the offensive coordinator for the Cowboys as long as they would have her, and even then some. Job security was rare in the NFL, and coordinators were always the first to go. Though if it ever came to it, Grace Ryder wouldn’t go down without a fight. Football ran in the Ryder’s bloodstream, and he was sure that would be passed down to their children. 

“The more the merrier.” 

Grace met the expression with an eye roll. “I am very happy for you both, Carlos,” she replied, taking a long sip of her drink before continuing, “It seems like just yesterday a very sweaty quarterback was on my front porch at the crack of dawn fretting over a hookup with his teammate.”

Carlos leaned back in his chair, slurping the last dregs of his latte. “And it seems like just yesterday you were telling me to go for it.” He leaned across the table, putting his hand on top of Grace’s. “Thank you, by the way.”

Grace patted the hand on top of hers. “Just don’t send me into early labor, and we’re good.”

***

Even with TK and Carlos being all but attached at the hip, the end of the season was grueling, with practices getting longer and harder and the weeks between games getting shorter. Being split during position meetings and practices, their schedules conflicted even when they worked in the same building and on the same team. Most days, they didn’t have much quality time together, save for the few minutes after they woke up, and the few minutes before they fell asleep. 

TK and Carlos were able to sneak in a sweet moment before their away game against the Tennessee Titans, finding an empty corner in the tunnels of Nissan Stadium before going out onto the field for warmups.

“Need a private meeting with your running back?” TK smirked, “Need to go over a few more plays, Reyes?” 

Carlos smiled back. “Shut up,” he said, pushing TK up against the wall and kissing him softly, smiling the entire way through it. “Just wanted to take a second before the game.” 

“Can’t say I mind it,” TK murmured, lips still pressed to Carlos’s. Soon he broke away, lips apart but foreheads still pressed together. “I miss you.” 

Carlos laughed, running a hand through TK’s hair. “We practically live together, TK.”

“Why don’t we make it literally instead of practically?” TK asked as he brought his lips to Carlos’s again before Carlos stepped back.

“Like…really move in together?” 

“Come on, babe,” TK replied, fidgeting with the strings of his Dallas Cowboys-issued hoodie, “I mean…I spend every night at your place anyway. I’m not attached to my apartment at all. Doesn’t it…make sense?”

Carlos stuttered, obviously not expecting a proposition like this. He knew it was coming, sure. TK was it for him, pretty sure that through all the trials and tribulations in the time they’d known each other, the man was his soulmate. He knew they spent more time than most at his apartment over TK’s, but then again, they’d only been officially dating for two months, if that. Was it really time? 

He thought about his plan to come out, to have a public platform larger than he anticipated after entering the NFL. While it was near-common knowledge throughout the Dallas community where they lived, their building didn’t have the highest security. Who knows what could happen with an unruly fan knowing the pair was cohabitating? 

“I mean yeah but I–” he lowered his voice, looking around the deserted hallway to make sure they were entirely alone. “TK, I haven’t even–.” 

 “I mean, we don’t have to do it until after you come out if you don’t–” 

“Can we talk about this later?” 

TK deflated, moving away from his boyfriend. “Yeah, yeah, we can,” he replied softly.

Carlos nodded, pulling TK closer to him, kissing the top of his head before cupping TK’s face in his hands, pressing gentle kisses across it. He knew this wasn’t the answer that TK wanted to hear, but knew a little reassurance would help him.

“This is not me saying no, TK,” Carlos whispered, “This is me saying ‘let's talk about this in a few weeks when we’re not going full speed towards the end of the season before I make the biggest decision of my career,’” Another kiss to TK’s forehead. “I love you, and this,” he said, pointing between TK’s chest and his own, “Is still very real.” 

TK nodded, smiling as Carlos kissed him one last time. “Love you too.” 

Carlos placed one last kiss on TK’s lips, looking down the hallway one last time. “Come on, let’s go win a football game.” 

***

This week 17 game against the Tennessee Titans was basically a formality. A quick win on the road at the end of the season. It had no effect on their standing in the playoffs, and the Titans didn’t even qualify for them. Thursday Night Football during a short Christmas week, having only played the Eagles five days prior. After this, they’d have a full ten days to prepare for their season finale before immediately heading into the playoffs. 

Even with all of this, the Titans weren’t letting up. The Cowboys were only up by four by halftime, with most analysts going into the game assuming this would be a blowout. Carlos gathered the team in the locker room at the half.

“I know this isn’t going the way we thought. I know it’s not supposed to be this close. But if we keep our heads down and focus on the bigger picture, we can stretch that lead even farther. Thirty minutes of football left and I want to see every single one of you give it your all for every second of that. Do you hear me?” 

Everyone cheered in response, whooping and hollering as Carlos made his way back to his locker, TK standing by the one next to him. He’d dropped a pass near the endzone that would have given them a sizable lead earlier in the game, and Carlos wanted to just check in–whether that be as his boyfriend, or as his team captain. Their previous conversation ended on a good note, yet Carlos wasn’t so sure TK thought so.

“You good?” Carlos asked, grabbing his helmet before they went back out onto the field. 

“Yeah, fine,” TK responded, a slight smile on his face. He grabbed his helmet, head down as he tried to sneak past Carlos on his way back out to the field. 

“Hey,” Carlos stopped TK in his tracks, holding a hand to his chest. “Talk to me.” 

“I’m fine, Carlos, promise,” TK ran a hand through his hair, droplets of sweat shaking out as he did it. “Just trying to get focused. Don’t want another drop on my conscience.” 

TK glanced around the locker room, looking for any eavesdroppers to their conversation. God, he would give anything just to kiss Carlos right then and there. Maybe by next season’s week 17, he’ll be able to. 

“Love you,” he whispered, grin growing. “Let’s go kick ass, huh?” 

***

After scoring another touchdown in the third quarter, their first snap of the fourth quarter was supposed to be a fast-moving play action. Judd would snap the ball to Carlos, who would hand it to TK, who would bear left then break through as many tackles as possible to try to get them closer and closer to the endzone.

The first few parts of the play went smoothly. Carlos caught Judd’s snap quickly, just as he had hundreds of times before, in training camp, in practice, in primetime games just like this one. He then passed it off to TK, something still so new in the grand scheme of things, yet felt like second nature at this point. 

TK broke through one tackle, then another, gaining at least five yards before going down as a defender brought him down, sending TK flat on his back at the 25 yard line. Even with it being a rough hit, it was still a clean, legal tackle. No flags were thrown, no penalties necessary. TK should have gotten right back up, shook it off, and gone off to play the next down. His knee would probably be sore the next day, but nothing unmanageable.

It was just an ordinary snap, but TK was still on the ground, unmoving.

As soon as Carlos ran over to TK, everything around him started feeling like he was underwater. 

The whistles of the refs, the medical staff running out onto the field. Everything only came back into focus as he felt Judd’s hands on his shoulder, pulling him away from the scene. “Let them work,” he heard Judd whisper in his ear, “He’ll be okay.” In his panic and worry, he forgot that Judd was one of the handful of trusted confidants (by way of Grace) when it came to him and TK.

Carlos nodded silently, taking off his helmet and taking a knee with the rest of the players on the field, both Cowboys and Titans alike. The stadium was silent, something he’d never experienced in his career. Carlos had seen a lot of injuries on the field, spanning from high school until now, but never anything like this. Never anything involving someone so important to him. 

Carlos’s heart pounded as he looked over at TK, Nancy and Tommy still kneeling over him, Tommy checking his vitals as Nancy gently examined him, putting a neck brace on TK.

“It’s probably just a precaution,” Judd murmured, as if he could sense Carlos’s fear that TK had been seriously injured. “Look, he’s moving a bit.” 

Carlos looked up to see slight movements in TK’s legs, little movements in his fingers. It looked like Nancy and Tommy were talking to him, asking questions. Some of the weight that sat heavy on Carlos’s chest was lifted. Maybe it was just a concussion, or the wind was knocked out of him. He looked at TK’s fingers again, his fingers moving and locking in at awkward angles. He’s fencing. Definitely a concussion. The heaviness returned, however, when he saw an ambulance making its way onto the field from the tunnels. He watched on as TK was taken away by the medical staff to God knows where. 

In an instant, everything changed. The underwater feeling Carlos had been experiencing was swiftly replaced with agonizing clarity. The whistles of the refs to return to position, the rousing applause in the stadium as the ambulance left the field. The fact that TK was hurt, badly enough to be taken away by ambulance, and there was absolutely nothing Carlos could do about it.

He had to act like his heart wasn’t about to leap out of his chest, like his head could no longer focus on the game. Like the love of his life wasn’t being poked and prodded in a hospital right now, unknown if he would ever play football again. He could already hear the commentators giving a play-by-play of what just happened to the viewers at home, talking about TK’s tragic backstory, how hard this must be for his “close friend” in quarterback Carlos Reyes and the rest of his team to witness. Soon enough, they’d get news about whatever was happening with TK, long before Carlos would ever know. 

 The world had come crashing down, and Carlos had to pretend like it was nothing. Carlos had to go and try and win a football game that now seemed even more pointless than it had before. 

Coach O’Brien called a timeout, Carlos and the rest of the offense jogging over to the sideline as Grace pulled Carlos aside, O’Brien speaking with the rest of the team.

“How is he?” Carlos asked weakly, tears threatening to fall. 

“It’s not great, but he’ll be okay,” Grace said softly, placing a reassuring hand on Carlos’s shoulder. “He’s pretty beat up, but he regained consciousness. They’re evaluating him now. He’s at St. Thomas Midtown, ten minutes away.”

Carlos was already calculating in his head how quickly he could get ready and head out of the stadium after the game was over. He’d stay in Nashville over the weekend. He’d stay as long as TK was here. He’d probably be fined for not heading back to Dallas with the rest of the team, but he didn’t care about that. He would pay any amount of money to the NFL for their stupid rules if it meant he could check in on TK. 

“He doesn’t do opioids,” he whispered, looking at Grace, “Do they know that? I–I need to let them know–if he’s in pain–” 

Grace smiled back at him kindly, giving him another shoulder squeeze. “Nancy and Tommy are fully aware of TK’s medical history, remember? They know all of y’alls. Right now, it’s not your job to focus on TK’s medical care. Your job is to win a football game.” 

Carlos nodded, staring directly at the ground. He looked up at the play clock on the stadium’s jumbotron. It had been less than ten minutes since the hit that took TK down. As he processed this, he heard Grace’s voice again.

“Do you want me to put Prescott in? There’s no shame in needing a breather. That was scary, no matter the situation, and I do not blame you if you want to sit the rest of the game.” 

Carlos exhaled, breath uneven. He thought about it briefly. In another universe, this exact situation was happening, but he and TK were public about their relationship. There was nothing left to worry about, no secrets to be had. This exact situation, and he knew TK would want him to keep playing. There was nothing Carlos could do from where he stood except what he did best: play football. 

“No,” he shook his head, adjusting his helmet and shaking out his arms. “I’ll stay.” 

“Well alright then,” Grace replied, “Let’s do Tom and Jerry right, corndog up, yellow left. I’m putting in Pollard. It’s just a few more snaps, okay?” Carlos nodded again before heading back out onto the field.

The rest of the game went by in a blur, and even with Carlos being filled with worry over TK, the Cowboys squeezed out a win, 27-13. Carlos hadn’t even processed the win as he ran back into the stadium tunnel, making a beeline straight for the visitor’s locker room, where he stripped out of his pads, showered, and was in an Uber making his way to the hospital in record time. 

***

It was after eleven by the time Carlos made it to the hospital, walking fast down hallway after hallway before he found the ICU, Nancy sitting on a chair outside what he assumed was TK’s room. 

“Nan–”

“Hey, Carlos,” Nancy spoke softly, pulling him into a hug. He melted into her arms; it was exactly what he needed. She guided him into the chairs where she was sitting.

“How is he?” Carlos spoke so softly he wasn’t sure if Nancy even heard him, no matter how close they were.

“He’s okay,” she responded, sniffling a bit. This was the most serious injury she’d dealt with in her career to date, and on someone she’d grown close with. “It was a pretty big hit.”

“What’s the damage?”

Nancy took a deep breath, holding Carlos’s hands in hers. “Concussion. Couple of broken ribs,” she exhaled shakily, quickly wiping a tear falling down her cheek, “Left lung collapsed.”

Carlos’s heart sank with each word. “But that tackle–it–it was clean.” 

“You know these things happen, Carlos,” Nancy replied, “You can take a thousand clean hits over a season and nothing can happen, and then one legal tackle can come along and fuck your entire life up. It’s a one in a million chance.”

Leave it to TK to be that one in a million.  

Carlos glanced behind Nancy, seeing TK for the first time since the beginning of the fourth quarter. He felt his breath catch in his throat as he saw his boyfriend asleep in a hospital bed. There was barely anything different than Carlos watching him sleep in his own bed, minus the oxygen cannula running under his nose and the multiple wires snaking out from under his hospital gown. 

“You know it’s no op–”

“Yes, no opioids, I’m aware, and so is the staff. He’s in good hands, I’m telling you.” 

Carlos paused, looking back at Nancy, tears falling from his eyes. “You know he asked to move in together?”

“I mean, I knew it was coming,” she replied sheepishly. “When?”

Carlos sniffed, “Right before the game.” 

“And?”

“And, I said let’s talk about it after…I come out. After the season’s over. Like a schmuck.” 

Nancy did little to hide the shock on her face. TK must not have told her about his decision. “First of all, where did you pick up schmuck?”

“From TK.” 

Nancy smirked, rubbing shoulders with Carlos. “And what do you think you’ll say once the season’s over?”

Carlos looked at her, choking on his words. “I-I-I mean, the answer was always going to be yes. But–” he glanced back at TK in his hospital bed, “I got scared,” he sputtered out, “And now–” Carlos held his head in his hands, letting out a sob.

Nancy rubbed his back, letting the man cry it out for a few minutes. “He’s going to be fine, Carlos.” 

Carlos looked up at her, “What if he can’t play anymore?” Concussions end careers all the time. He didn’t even want to think about TK getting back on a football field after a collapsed lung. 

“Well, I’m pretty sure he can still live in Dallas with his hot quarterback boyfriend,” she smiled, eyes still full of tears, “And that he’ll be in a suite in his number 18 best every Sunday.” 

An eerie wave of calmness washed over Carlos at the thought. For a brief moment, he accepted the possibility of TK having to retire after one season in the league, a record-breaking rookie year being tragically cut short. TK could always coach. He could join Grace’s staff, or help out at a local high school. Carlos thought about how great TK had been with his nephews and younger cousins. TK would be great at anything he put his mind to, but Carlos knew that TK was put on this earth for one thing, and one thing only.

“He’d hate that,” Carlos laughed, “You know he’s going to do everything he can to be out on that field again.” 

“Don’t I know it,” Nancy muttered, “Apologizing in advance for all those early mornings I’ll be taking him away from you.” 

Carlos grabbed Nancy’s hand, giving it a squeeze. “If it means he’s healthy, I’ll kick him out of bed myself.” 

Nancy nodded, exhaling with a smile. “You should go in and see him.” The pair got up, Nancy giving him a hug, pushing him towards TK’s hospital room before leaving. 

Carlos slowly made his way into the room, TK unchanged from the last time he had looked in here. Now that Carlos was closer to him, he noticed the paleness of TK’s skin, how small he truly looked hooked up to all these machines. Carlos took the lone seat next to the bed, scooting it in as close as he could. 

Slowly, with a shaking hand, he reached up, gently pushing his fingers through TK’s hair, a little greasy from the sweat that had gathered under his helmet for the three quarters of the game he had played. 

“Hi, baby,” he whispered, repeating the motions as TK remained unchanged, his only movement being the slight rise and fall of his chest.

“I’ll be right here,” Carlos choked out, voice a little louder than before. He leaned back in the chair, staring at the ceiling before closing his eyes, focusing on the rhythmic beats of the monitors hooked up to TK. 

Minutes later, Carlos’s eyes cracked open as he heard a soft moan coming from the hospital bed. Carlos looked at TK, watching with wide eyes as the man squinted awake, face contorted in pain. 

“TK?” he reached out cautiously, watching him slowly take in his surroundings. 

TK’s eyes followed Carlos’s voice, opening more and more. He reached out weakly for Carlos, and Carlos quickly took TK’s hand in his, squeezing it gently. 

“I’m here, TK, I’m here,” Carlos blinked back tears, “You’re going to be okay.” He’d wait for a doctor or nurse to come in and explain everything to TK. For now, he was happy TK was awake, even if he was certain it’d be brief.

TK nodded slightly as he blinked, returning the squeeze Carlos had given him, though much weaker.

“Love you,” TK breathed out, quickly drifting back to sleep. 

Carlos felt a weight lift off his shoulders. He knew there would be a long road back for TK, but Carlos didn’t care. If they could get through this, they could get through anything. 

Carlos fell asleep, hand still intertwined with TK’s.