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One last quest

Summary:

For three months have Arthur and the knights been acting weird around Merlin. Then when Merlin’s magic is revealed, he freaks out. But before he can face his dome, the druids ask one last thing from him, to stop Morgana. Then Merlin and the knights head out on one last quest together.

Chapter 1: Merlin wants to quit

Chapter Text

It’s been three months. Three months. Merlin was starting to feel worried, for what this might lead to. For three months Arthur and the knights have been threating Merlin more like a servant than a friend. They kept their interactions as short as possible, and if Merlin tried to speak any longer, they would excuse themselves and then leave.

Even Lancelot was acting weird. Not as weird, thank the Gods for that, but he was still acting weirder than usual. Merlin still had Gaius, the only normal part in his life was his great uncle of a physician. Because the knights clearly didn’t want Merlin around as much, he had started to spend more time with his mentor. He quiet enjoyed it, he had learnt a lot and was spending some quality time with Gaius.

But even how much he tried to ignore it, he couldn’t. Arthur and the knights didn’t want him around. After everything they had been through, this was how they were going to end their friendships? Merlin felt lost. It made him wish that he never had come to Camelot in the first place.

The friendship between him and Arthur was the only reason for Merlin to be his servant, it was what have kept him going. Sure, the destiny part had given him another motive, but when it all came down to it Merlin knew that he was doing it for his friend, for his best friend. But now Arthur had thrown it all away, as if it didn’t mean anything to him.

Gaius tried to comfort Merlin, to tell them that his friends still loved him and that they just had a lot on their plates at the moment. Merlin tried to believe him, he really did, but it was hard. They couldn’t even spare Merlin a few minutes.

 

 

When Merlin was walking through the corridors of the castle, he could he hear Leon and Lancelot speak. He was sure he heard his name being mentioned, he stopped before the corner, weighing his options. He could either stay there and listen to something he clearly wasn’t supposed to hear, or he could continue his walk to the kings chambers, meaning that he would pass them. He did not stand there for long, even though he wanted to know why they were speaking of him, it was wrong.

Merlin turned the corner, and the men didn’t even seem to notice him at first, he was a servant after all. Then as he got closer, did they see him.

“Hi, Merlin.” Lancelot said, quite nervous. Leon did not look any better, he took one arm up and waved to Merlin, he had never done that before, and did not look comfortable doing it now either.

“Hi guys. I was thinking that we could do something tonight. I’m sure Gwaine would like to have company to the tavern.” Merlin said looking a bit hopeful at the men. If he could get them drunk, he might be able to ask them why they were talking about him behind his back.

“Ah, Merlin I would love to, but there are some notes from the council I need to look over tonight. And ehm Lancelot promised to help me.” Leon added a bit hasty. Merlin being the expert of lying have learnt of to spot lies, and Leon was not a very good lair to begin with.

Merlin nodded to them. “I understand. Maybe another day then.” He said then continued walking to the kings chambers, feeling tears come to his eyes. The two knights stood still watching Merlin go, then when he was out of sight, did they continue their conversation.

 

Merlin stopped outside of Arthur’s chambers taking a deep breath to gather himself from the encounter with the knights. Then he knocked on the doors. It still felt weird to knock on Arthur’s door, he never used to do that, not even on his first day did he knock on Arthur’s chambers. But now things were different. He had started knocking on the door three weeks ago, he did not like it.

“Come in!” He heard Arthur through the thick door. Merlin pushed the door open and stepped inside.

“My Lord.” He said looking at Arthur, who sat at his desk reading. Arthur looked up at Merlin and gave a weak smile, then he continued reading. Merlin went over to the closet, grabbing what he thought needed to be washed, then he put it in the basket. When Merlin started to head towards the door did Arthur stop him.

“Ah Merlin before you go. Me, Gwen, and the knights are going to have dinner in my chambers tonight. So, you will need to work a bit longer.” Merlin felt tears coming to his eyes once again. Not only had Leon and Lancelot denied going to the tavern with him, but they had also lied to him and now Merlin needed to be present as a servant during that lie.

Merlin nodded to Arthur. “Of course, sire. Anything else?” Merlin wanted to wash his mouth with soap each time he spoke the word ‘sire’ to Arthur when they were alone. It was one thing to do it in front of other nobles, but he never used to refer to Arthur as ‘sire’ or ‘my lord’ before when it was just them.  And the worst part was, Arthur did not seem to care. He hasn’t given Merlin any reaction to being called ‘sire’ by him.

“No, that would be all.” Arthur said, turning his focus back to his papers. Merlin turned around, leaving his chambers. He walked as fast as he could down to the washing-room. He placed the basket down, looked around, when he was sure he was alone he fell to his knees and cried.

 

 

When Merlin managed to gather himself enough, he looked out and saw that the sun was setting. It was time for Arthur’s dinner. He left the basket with Arthur’s laundry, thinking that he could do it after dinner.

Merlin went to the kitchen and asked for help about the dinner. He and a lovely maid, Anna, brought up the dinner to Arthur’s chambers. When they arrived were some of the knights already there. Anna had asked Merlin on their way there if he was feeling alright, he had only shrugged and said that he was tired. Merlin was afraid that his eyes had swollen, therefore he made sure to take a look at himself in one of the mirrors they passed by. He looked tired with dark circles under his eyes, but no swelling from his crying could be seen.

They both stepped into the chamber silently, starting to set the table as the others sat around the table. Gwen, being the lovely woman as she was, greeted Merlin and Anna, asking them how their day were, as if she was still a servant herself and not the queen. Gwen smiled at Merlin, at least she had not left him, but she was however also more distant, or maybe that was just because he wasn’t with Arthur as much.

When they were done setting the table, all the guests had arrived. Anna filled their cups then she went to stand bedside Merlin. Merlin also held a pitcher with wine, cheaper wine, that he was going to poor in later, when they were too drunk to notice the taste.

None of the knights had greeted him when they came, which hurt of course, but he was starting to get used to it. Now however he had Anna. They had a silent conversation going, she even made Merlin laugh at one time. Merlin quickly got embarrassed as he realized that he was a bit to loud, as it had made some of the knights’ heads turn towards them. Anna put a hand on his arm trying too silent him. But she giggled as she did.

Even how much Merlin didn’t want Anna to leave. She was needed in the kitchen, and she had already stayed for to long. As she put the pitcher down at a table beside Merlin, he whispered to her.

“Thank you, really.” She meet his eyes and they both blushed.

“It was nothing. That is what you have friend’s for.” Then she left. That made something twist in his stomach. The word echoed in his head ‘that is what you have friend’s for.’ It was not that he didn’t see her as a friend before, but now he saw her as a closer friend than he saw himself with anyone else in the room.

He never remembered that a servant had helped him setting the table before, and someone who had stayed to talk with him. But that was because he had talked with the ones at the table. But now even though she wasn’t needed, she stayed, simply because she enjoyed Merlin’s company, because they were friends.

The ones seated was not even halfway through their food when Anna had left, and Merlin already felt how he wanted to leave. None of them looked at him, none of them invited him into the conversation like they used to. He had never been seated with them, but he had stood closer to them, constantly adding comments that would make the rest of them laugh. He tightened his grip around the pitcher, staring out through the window in front of him, whishing he was out there instead of here.

 

Merlin had cleared the table of dishes. The evening had continued as it began, no one spoke to him or even looked at him. Except for Gwen, she had given him a small smile two times during the dinner. Merlin felt his own stomach longing for food. But that was not his main reason of why he wanted to get out of there, he needed to get away from them. He could not stand it, watching them enjoy their evening, while he himself was being tortured by his own thoughts.

When Merlin had poured the last of the wine into Gwaine’s cup he decided to make is leave after that. He knew there was a lot more to the evening, that they would stay there at least one more hour before the first one would give in and leave for their own chambers. Merlin realized he would much rather have Arthur scream at him for leaving the cups there under the night than to stay there one more second.

When he grabbed the dishes did Guinevere turn to him. “Are you leaving so soon Merlin?” Merlin was startled by the question, of course he was going to leave, no one even acted as if he was there. The question almost made him drop the silverware, Arthur shoots him a look at the movement, looking at him as if he was the worst servant in the castle. Three months ago, that look would not mean anything to Merlin, he might even have laughed at it, but now, it hurt, it hurt more than Merlin would be able to tell them. He gathered himself and met Gwen’s kind eyes.

“Yes, your majesty. Unless you want something else” Merlin said, hoping for dear life that she wouldn’t. “No of course not.” Merlin then went on with his movement towards the door. Gwen’s question had managed to silence the whole table, he could feel their eyes on him.

“But Merlin. I was just wondering, have you been sleeping alright? You look tired.” Merlin turned around facing the queen. He had been standing there, helping them the whole evening, doing everything a servant is meant to do, only for them to question his appearance. Merlin felt anger rising in him. But he kept his face normal, not letting any of his feelings show.

“I’m alright, thank you. Just have had a few bad nights of sleep. No if you’ll excuse me, I’ll take my leave.” Merlin kept his voice even, impressing himself as he did. “Of course, Merlin, sleep well.” Gwen said, once again giving him the warmest of smiles. Merlin pushed up a smile himself, then he turned to leave.

He went to the kitchen and left the dishes. He looked for Anna, maybe she could lighten his mood, but when he did not find her, he went to Gaius chambers. On his way there he thought a thought he never thought he would think ‘maybe I should quit as Arthur’s manservant.’ He stopped in his steps, surprised by himself to even think that. He pushed the thought away, telling himself that Arthur still needed him. But the thought did not go away.

After thinking about it for five days he decided to talk to Gaius about it. He explained that he could protect Arthur if he stayed in Camelot by being Gaius apprenticed at full-time. Gaius was skeptical about it, asking Merlin to think about it for a bit more before he did anything drastic.

Two days after that did Merlin write a letter, asking to quit. Gaius raised his eyebrow at Merlin when he sat at the dinner table writing it, but Merlin told him it was for the best. After all it had been their friendship who had kept him as Arthur manservant. He enjoyed the small moment when he could tease Arthur and the time he sheared with him in the armory, but those times were gone, along with their friendship.

 

Dear Arthur.

I thought this day would never come. I would like to resign.

I have during the past months understood that I am in fact replaceable, and I am sure that you will find another servant to fill my roll.

I once thought that you saw me as something more than a servant, but I can see now that I was wrong. And if I have done anything wrong, sorry.

And even though I am not willing to accept it, Gaius is getting older. It would be good for him with a full-time apprentice.

Yours always Merlin.

 

Merlin folded the letter and put it in his pants, he decided to give it to him after the meeting at the council.

 

 

Merlin stood a few meters behind Arthur where he was sitting at the table. It had been a long meeting and Merlin found himself grateful that Arthur no longer used to talk to Merlin about how he felt during the council meetings anymore, because Merlin saw how Arthur’s jaw twitche. Merlin thinks that Gwen has taken over that role, being there listening to Arthur rant about the old nobles. Arthur’s voice brought him back into reality.

“Then it’s settled I and some knights will ride out as quick as we can, looking into the matter. You’re all dismissed.” No one needed to ask which knights he would bring it was obvious that it would be the knights of the round table. The members of the council started to walk out.

Merlin went up to Arthur holding the letter in his hands. “Merlin prepper the horses, we leave as soon as possible.”

“Sire, I think you should have this first.” Merlin began, showing Arthur the letter. Merlin did not want to join them on this quest, he would rather be home with Gaius, sorting herbs or something. Arthur glanced at the latter then waved with his hand.

“I’m sure it can wait. Place it on my desk and I will look at it tomorrow.” Arthur waved his hand to Merlin to dismiss him, but Merlin stood his ground. “Arthur please, just read it now.”

“Merlin what does you not understand? Go and prepper the horses, we are losing valuable time!” Merlin looked at Arthur with disgust. He was screaming at him over something so foolish as a letter. Merlin did not say anything else, he quickly hurried himself out of there and began prepper the horses.

Gaius came out and helped him. Gaius tried to get Merlin on better thoughts, for him to see this as an opportunity to end his era with the king and the knights, and to enjoy it while it lasted. Merlin was grateful for Gaius care, but he knew that he was not going to enjoy this trip, no matter how hard he tried.

When Merlin was done did the king and his knights come down the stairs in shining armor. They all went to their horses, barley noticing Merlin and Gaius’s presence. They all got up on their horses, awaiting Arthur to start riding of.

“Come on Merlin, get up on your horse.” Arthur said from upon his horse, looking like the king he was, brave and strong. Merlin quickly shoot him a glance, then looked back at Gaius as they went in for a hug.

“See what I mean?” Merlin whispered during their embrace. Gaius whispered back to him.

“Try and enjoy it as long as it last, tomorrow it will all be gone.” Merlin huffed and let go of his Mentor. Arthur and the knights slowly turned away from the courtyard, Arthur waving goodbye to Gwen, who stood on top of the stairs. Merlin got up on his horse and rode after them.

 

Merlin was riding at the back of the group, trying to enjoy being out in the nature, feeling the magic surrounding him. He kept an eye on Arthur during the journey making sure that he was safe. The knights were laughing along to some bad jokes as they rode.

Then seemingly out of nowhere screams was heard. They came from everywhere, all around them, they were trapped. “On me!” did Arthur scream to his men. They all jumped down from their horses and closed in on their king, placing themselves to keep him safe.

Merlin looked for a tree nearby to hide behind and to assist to the battel, trying to give the knights the upper hand. But there was already to many bandits, there was no where he could go where he wouldn’t run into one and putting himself in danger for exposing himself. He therefore went up to the knights, placing himself beside Lancelot. Lancelot took Merlin by the arm and dragged him closer the circle the men had created.

As Merlin looked around, he quickly concluded that there was to many, they stood no chance. The bandits kept coming. His fears were confirmed when he heard Arthur scream. “For the love of Camelot!” Merlin knew that he only screamed that when he actually feared for his life. The knights repeated Arthur’s line with their own screams and become more forceful in their actions. Merlin however did not scream, because what he was about to do was not for the love of Camelot, it was for the love of his friends.

Merlin took a step away from the circle of knights, preparing himself, letting his magic flow through him. Lancelot grabbed him by the arm and tried to drag him back into the circle. Merlin looked at Lancelot and for the first time in three months did it feel like Lancelot did care for him, to sad it was to late. Merlin pushed Lancelot’s hand away and took several steeps out from the safe circle, drawing all of the attention of the bandit to himself.

“No! Merlin!” Did Lancelot scream. No of the others had seen it happened, but when they heard Lancelot’s scream and noticed that the bandit shifted their attention, they turned to look.

Merlin then held up his arms and screamed “furculiţă.” His eyes turned golden.

A strong wind came from where Merlin stood, sweeping all of the bandits in front of him to their feet. Some of the bandits hit trees and rocks, making their necks break, others where wounded by the fall.

Merlin heard screams come from behind him, he turned around and saw more bandits come running towards him. He put out his arms once again, looking at two big branches. His eyes turned golden once again, draining the blue out of his eyes. The branches broke and landed on the front row of the men who came running. When the other bandits had seen his golden eyes, did they turn around and started running the other way.

Merlin let his arms down as he looked after the men running away. He let his magic feel the place, looking for other possible bandits trying to attack him or his friends. When the adrenaline disappeared, realization hit him. It all happened so fast.

He had used magic in front of the knights. In front of Arthur!

Merlin quickly turned around, gold could still be seen in his eyes as blue tried to come back. Merlin only looked at them, fear covering his face. This was it.

Three months ago Merlin would be certain that he would not have to face death because of his gift, the wors possible outcome would have been banishment, which is as bad as death in Merlin’s eyes. But then Merlin had also thought that Arthur might let him stay, he had seen that Arthur was a changed man, he did not despise magic users as much as his father.

But now, with Arthur only seeing him as a servant, he was doomed. It was as if Merlin already could feel the fire covering his body.

He looked at them, but his eyes did not register anything it saw. He could not tell if there was betrayal, anger, disgust, or sadness on any of their faces. Before any of them said anything, or so much moved a muscle, Merlin felt himself running.

His feet carried him away from the scene, where Merlin just had used his magic to kill all the bandits, that the finest knights of Camelot even couldn’t handle. This was not how Merlin wanted it to be done.

He ran. If anyone was screaming for him, he could not hear them. Merlin knew where his feet was taking him, even though he hadn’t commanded them to. They were taking him back to Camelot. Now any other sorcerer would call him a fool, even a non-sorcerer would call him that, but Merlin knew that he could never leave Camelot. Even if all his friends would turn him away, and never so much as look at him again, he knew that a life in Camelot in the dungeons, was better than a life outside of Camelot. Even no life, was better than a life outside of Camelot.

All Merlin could think of, was one last hug from Gaius. To thank him one last time, and to tell him how sorry he is for everything. To one last time feel Gaius embrace, feeling loved and wanted.

Chapter 2: time to face the king

Summary:

After Merlin had gone to Gaius for comfort it was time to face his king.

Chapter Text

Merlin knew he was fast, but the others still had their horses, if they wanted to catch up with him, they could, but they didn’t.

Merlin soon enough found himself outside of Gaius chamber. He did not stop to try and catch his breath or to calm down, he might not have that time. Soon Arthur might come storming in, dragging him to the courtyard.

Merlin opened the door and breathed in the familiar sense of herbs. Merlin closed the door behind him as he spotted Gaius, thank God he wasn’t out on errands.

“My boy, what has happened? Are you alright?” Gaius hurried up to Merlin when he saw him. Meeting him in the middle of the room. Merlin did not answer any of the questions instead he grabbed Gaius forcing him into a tight hug.

Not until now did Merlin realize that he was crying. He doesn’t know when he began. Gaius rubbed Merlin’s back in a circular motion, while saying comforting words to him. When Merlin had calmed down and was able to almost breath normally again, did he speak.

“I’m sorry Gaius.” Was all he got out. Gaius broke the hug, holding Merlin by his arms, while looking him in the eyes.

“What for my boy?” He spoke.

“They know. I tried to protect them, but they saw.” Merlin sobbed in between his words. When he was done did Gaius hug Merlin again, tighter this time.

“Oh, Merlin.” He let out. Worried for his ward and for what might happen to him. Merlin let his tears run down his cheeks, letting them fall on Gaius shoulders, leaving a wet mark.

Merlin never wanted to leave, he did not want to let go, he wanted to stay in Gaius arms, where he felt safe from all the hurt in the world. Merlin did now how much time passed, it could have been seconds or hours, but eventually they heard a knock on the door. Merlin flinched in Gaius arms.

Gaius let go of Merlin and led him to a chair to sit down. Merlin took the sleeves of his arms and started to rub away the tears he had shed. Gaius patted him on the shoulder one last time, then he went to open the door.

To none of their surprise did a guard stand there. The guard looked straight toward, not looking at Gaius nor Merlin. “The king demand yours and Merlin’s presence in the throne room, at this very moment.” The guard looked uneasy, he had sensed that something was going on when Arthur had sent him to fetch Gaius and Merlin.

“Thank you, we will be on our way.” The guard nodded and turned around, and as soon as he had appeared, did he disappear. Gaius looked wary back at Merlin, not wanting him to come with him. But before Gaius could approach him or say anything did Merlin get up. He went towards Gaius at the door. He had stopped the tears, but his breath was still uneasy. He sniffled a few times then he nodded to Gaius.

They went silently through the long corridors, hearing the sound of their shoes echo against the cold stone walls. Merlin let his magic out, letting himself easier remember this, walking through the corridors in the castle. They did not walk pass any servants on their way, most of them had gone home for the night, the only ones who still worked was the servants in the kitchen, which were all busy there.

They stopped outside of the big wooden doors that lead into the throne room. Gaius turned to look at Merlin. “Merlin..” He began. He did not know what to say, he wanted to help, to make the situation better. But he could not try to ensure Merlin about the outcomes after this, Gaius was not sure himself of what would happen to him after this.

After all this time that Gaius have protected sorcerers the thought of them dying had never hurt so much as the thought of Merlin dying. For Gaius the worst part was that Merlin would die willingly, not even putting up a fight, because he would be loyal all the way. Gaius knew he couldn’t stay in Camelot if Merlin would die, it would be too painful to serve a king who killed the man he saw as his son.

Merlin meet Gaius eyes, his tears were gone, but they had left red marks in his eyes. Merlin put a hand on Gaius shoulder. He took a shaking breath. “It’s okay Gaius. Whatever comes, I will face it.” Merlin gave Gaius a thin smile, hiding the pain and fear. Gaius hugged Merlin, what he so dearly hopped wouldn’t be the last one. As they let go, they nodded to each other, preparing themselves for the worst.

As they opened the doors did, they see Arthur and Guinevere standing at the front, in front of their thrones, looking like the perfect royal couple. Arthur had a letter in his hand that he had found in Merlin’s bag that was attached to his horse, on the letter was it written “to Arthur”, in Merlin’s writing, it was the letter Merlin intended to give before the quest.

To their right did the knights stand, with their capes red as blood. Merlin swallowed, he thought he was ready, but he was wrong. There were no one else in the room, which he was grateful for.

He and Gaius went up to the front, side by side. Merlin did not let himself look at them, he kept his eyes on the floor in front of him. When they were at the front did Gaius take his hand, squeezing it. Merlin looked up at him, grateful to have him by his side. Then Gaius went to stand on the left side of the room. Merlin held their eye contact, then he turned to Arthur.

Arthur looked down at Merlin, at his manservant. “You have been confronted by using magic within the walls of Camelot. But I and the people present, have discussed the matter and…” Guinevere went towards Merlin. Holding a blue robe in her hands, she approached Merlin with a warm smile. Merlin kept looking at his king as he continued speaking. “..we would like you to be our court sorcerer.”

Guinevere was now up in front of Merlin. He turned to look at her, seeing her smile. She held up the robe in front of Merlin, to help him get it on. Merlin looked questioning at the robe, not moving a muscle. His eyes darted between the people in the room and the robe. The robe was beautiful, made of much finer material than Merlin ever had owned before.

Seconds went by without anyone doing anything. “Come on Merlin, it’s just a robe, it’s not going to bite you.” Arthur tried to talk like their normal banter, only that they had not had a normal banter in months and to start now when Merlin was the most vulnerable. The words made him flinch.

Guinevere looked at her husband, disapproving, then she held it up further in front of Merlin. “It was traditionally worn by court sorcerers before the purge.” She said kindly, hoping that the explanation would give Merlin comfort in the situation.

Merlin took a few steeps away from Gwen, looking at the robe. With a shaky voice, while shaking his head did, he speak. “No. no. nonono.” Merlin let the robe out of his sight, and he looked at the people in the room. “I might die, but I will do that with what little honor I have left. I will not let my self be humiliated this way.”

The shock spread around the room. Gwen lowered the robe, hiding it in her arms. The knights looked between Merlin and Arthur, trying to comprehend what they heard. Arthur’s facial expression softened, sadness creeping up. He thought Merlin would be over the moon with this suggestion. He began, choosing his words carefully. “Merlin, we’re – we’re not going to – “Arthur couldn’t even finish the sentence. How could Merlin think so low of him, that he would think that they were going to kill him.

“What will you do then? Banish me? To be honest I would rather die here than to ever leave Camelot, you’ve seen who I am, who I truly I am, for the monster I am. I deserve this. I deserve to be burned at the stake!” Merlin was raising his voice, on the borderline of screaming at them. He did not care, he had nothing more to lose. He looked around angry at them, wanting them to talk back to him, so that he could scream at them, to make them feel as bad as he has all these years.

Lancelot was the first to move. He took a steep closer to Merlin, Merlin turned to look at Lancelot, challenging him to save the situation. “Merlin, it’s not what you think...” Lancelot said in a soft voice. Merlin continued to glare at him, wanting him to continue, but he didn’t.

“Not what I think? So now what? I’m still the idiot of a servant running around?” Merlin was moving his arms around, not finding it in him to stop. They had stopped acting as his friends three months ago, and now all the sudden they want to become friends again, even after his magic being revealed in battle. No, Merlin was not falling for it, he would not let his hopes up. Merlin was breathing frustrated, deep breaths through his nose, he waited for someone else to step up. No one did.

Fear could be seen in some of their eyes. Fear for what Merlin might do, fear for what they have done to their friend. There was a long silence and when Merlin decided to turn, and leave did a guard open the door.

“Sire, there are druids here in Camelot.” The guard then backed away as three druids came walking through the doors. In the middle was Iseldir, with two other men on each of his side.

Their presence made everyone snap out of what was going on and focus on the druids. Arthur who had not let his eyes go from Merlin, now instead looked at Iseldir. With a kingly voice did he speak. “What is your business here?”

Iseldir, who did not have a reason to sound as commanding as Arthur calmly spoke back to him. “We have come to speak with our king.” Iseldir looked at Arthur. Arthur himself looked shocked and said, less confident now.

“I did not know you saw me as your king-“Arthur was cut off by Iseldir.

“Emrys.” Iseldir kept on looking at Arthur, seeing how further confusion covered his face. Not until Merlin started to move towards them did Iseldir look at Merlin.

Merlin slowly went up to them, placing himself in front of them. He heard some of the knight’s shuffle in confusion behind him, and Gwaine even let out a gasp. The three druids kneeled before him. “My Lord.” Did the others say as they looked down at the floor. Iseldir kept looking at Merlin.

Merlin who was too tired for any of this to be happening, went up closer to Iseldir, placing his hand on his shoulder leading him up back on his feet. “No, I’m not worthy. The Gods choice wrong. I’m sorry.”

Iseldir looked him in the eyes. Merlin was once again preparing himself to leave, he let go of Iseldir. “If you die tomorrow, all hope of Albion will die with you. All that you have fought for will be for nothing.” Merlin felt his stomach twist, all his life living in fear, and with him leaving it would mean that future sorcerer would have till live with the same fear for years to come. But there was nothing he could do, not when he had let his king down.

“I’m sorry. I truly am.” Merlin said at last then he went past them towards the door.

“We know where Morgana is.” Iseldir said, not turning to watch Merlin. But Merlin stopped at his words and turned around to look at Iseldir.

“What?”

“We know where she is. She’s powerful. Without you, Emrys, we won’t stand a chance against her. She will be the dome for all of us.” Iseldir had turned to look at Merlin. Merlin looked the druid in his eyes, taking in every word he said. He knew he was right, he had felt Morgana’s power grow from each time ha had encountered her.

Merlin turned to look at Gaius for guidance. Gaius nodded to Merlin. Then Merlin looked back at Iseldir. “Come with me.” Merlin said to the druids. The three of them started moving towards the door that Merlin was standing by. Merlin turned to Gaius again, nodding his head, to ask Gaius to come with them. Gaius did not hesitate, he followed after the druids and went out with Merlin.

They left the remaining people in the throne room in silence. Arthur had opened his moth to speak, but he could not think of anything. After a few seconds did Gwaine say. “What. The. Fuck.”

Chapter 3: The quest begins

Summary:

Merlin makes himself ready for the quest, when som uninvited knights comes to talk to him

Chapter Text

Merlin was out in the courtyard, fixing the straps on his horse. He has packed what he thought might be necessary and hoped it would be enough. Then Iseldir and Gaius came walking towards him and stopping by him. Merlin stopped what he was doing and turned to talk to them. “Are you ready?” Iseldir asked. They had spent last evening talking about how to reach Morgana and how to beat her.

Merlin had suggested the spell of Aliot, either Gaius or Iseldir approved of it, but they could see that Merlin was determent to use it. “I think so.” Merlin said.

“I will take my leave then. I will inform the druids about you mission asking them to stay safe and to keep an extra eye out.” Merlin smiled at the druid, he was a wise man, Merlin appreciated his help, even though it is hard to understand what he truly means at times.

“Thank you, my friend, I hope that we will meet again.” Merlin said as he grabbed the druid’s hand.

“So do I Emrys. I whish you the best of luck. May the gods be kind to you.” Then Iseldir walked away, leaving Merlin and Gaius alone by Merlin horse. Gaius had been uneasy the whole morning, it was clear to Merlin that Gaius did not approve of his plan. When Merlin opened his mouth to speak, he stopped himself as Arthur and the knights came walking down the stairs. Merlin stared at them, not feeling like having a conversation with them. He wanted to say goodbye to Gaius then leave for his quest.

The knights went towards the stables and started to prepper their horses. They all wore full armor and had their own bags with them. Merlin turned questioning to Gaius, who looked guilty. “What are they doing?”

“Maybe they are trying to help a friend.” This time Merlin raised an eyebrow to Gaius, questioning him for what he has done. Merlin was on his way to confront Gaius about it when Arthur came up to them, keeping his distance. “We would like to join you, Merlin.” Arthur said, if Merlin had told him no, he would listen and let him go on his own, but Merlin didn’t have the chance.  

“I think that is a great idea, your majesty.” Gaius said before Merlin could speak. Merlin looked at Gaius, almost angry at him for welcoming the knights along on this. As they spoke did Guinevere come up to them, the knights had also placed themselves closer, to hear what they said.

“I appreciate it, but Morgana is powerful. You would be putting all your life on the line if you choose to come, therefore I would advice you not to.” Merlin said, feeling something near to power, as if his words would be the final.

“Morgana is my sister, she is my responsibility. I will come with you.” Arthur said, no longer taking a no for an answer. Merlin nodded to him.

“Very well, if you choice to come, you should be aware that it will be a long journey and it is not guarantee that everyone will make it out alive. None of you are expected to come, nor will I think anything less of you if you choice to stay.” Merlin spoke, feeling the power of his worlds. He truly whished it would scare them away, he could not bear losing any of them.

“We will follow you to the end of the earth if we have to.” Gwaine stepped up. None of the others seemed to leave, they only hummed in agreement with Gwaine’s statement. A bit overdramatic according to Merlin but he would not say it, he appreciated the loyalty for as long as it lasted. The knights turned back to their horses, making them ready.

“Take care Merlin. I do not know what Camelot would do with out you.” Gwen said to Merlin, taking his hand in hers. Merlin squished it gently, he could see tears start forming in her eyes. She then let go and went over to Arthur and Elyan who stood beside each other. She gave them each a hug and kissed Arthur passionately on the lips.

Merlin turned back to Gaius. “Is there anything I can say to make you stay?” Gaius said as they embraced each other. Merlin shook his head in Gaius neck. “No, there is not.”

“Then please take care. And do rethink the spell of Aliot, do not do anything hasty.” Gaius voice broke, they seemed to have gained a crowd of knights watching as Merlin said goodbye to the man that was like a father. Gaius and Merlin always said goodbye to each other before a quest, but never had it seemed to be taken so seriously as it was now.     

“I promise Gaius.” They hugged each other tightly, Gaius did not want to let go. Tears fell down Gaius cheeks. Then Merlin let go. All the knights were up on their horses ready to leave when ever Merlin was. Merlin stroke his thumb gently over Gaius chin, whipping his tears away. “It will be alright Gaius, I promise.”

This did not make Gaius feel the least better, knowing that he is not be able to keep that promise, there was simply to much at stake.

Merlin got up on his horse. He turned to the knights around him, nodding to them, he was ready. Then he turned one last time to Gaius. “Good luck my boy, please come back home soon.”

“Thank you.” Merlin said. He wanted to ad ‘I will’ but he did not want to lie to Gaius the last thing he did to him. “Bye Gaius.” Then he turned his horse around and headed towards the gate. The knights followed him.

Gwen came up to Gaius, saying comforting words to him, that they would be back before they knew it. Gaius did not dare to hope.

 

 

Merlin rode at the front of the group, alone. The rest of them were riding in pairs behind him. It wasn’t like their usual patrols or quests where they would ride together talking and laughing, now it was only small lighthearted conversations from time to time. Merlin never joined the conversations, he barely listed to them. He was to busy constantly checking the area with his magic to see if there were any dangers around.

The sun was soon about to set when Merlin held up his hand as he stopped. The knights behind him stopped to looking curiously at Merlin, as they all started to listen after threats, but none of them heard anything.

“What’s wrong?” Gwaine whispered from behind Merlin. Merlin slowly got of his horse and went up behind a tree. Merlin put his finger against his limps, quieting Gwaine.

Merlin peaked out from behind the tree, he made a circular movement with his hand. Then up ahead did they see a bush rustle in the wind, there had been no wind all day during their trip, therefore they all drew the conclusion that it was Merlin who had caused the bush to rustle.

Then two blacked dressed men came running, they ran to the bush that had rustled. They ran further into the woods, until they could not be seen anymore. Then after another hand movement with Merlin right hand did another wind come, carrying leaves from where the men had come from, covering their tracks. So that if they would turn around, they would not be able to find their way back.

Merlin kept looking straight ahead but gestured to the knights to go towards the way that the men had come from. The knights obeyed. Merlin then got up on his own horse following them.

“We should start thinking about making up camp soon.” Merlin said as he rode along with Leon. He had always wanted to view Leon as his older brother. Leon was also the most experienced out of the group, therefore Merlin felt the most comfortable asking him.

“Are you sure? The sun is still quite high up, we could continue for at least one hour.” Leon turned to look at Merlin, it was the first time he meet Merlin’s eyes since they started their trip, in the early morning.

“I’m sure, we need to keep our energy high until we reach Morgana.” Merlin says.

“You’re right.” Leon said, then turning his eyes back on the trail, now looking for a good spot to set up camp.

 

 

As they were working on setting up camp Merlin went to gather firewood. When he came back, he put it in the circle of rocks, and then his eyes flashed golden, and a small fire was cracking between the wood. Merlin did not look for any one’s reaction, they all knew now, he found no reason to keep up the pretense.

Leon and Elyan glanced uneasy at each other when they saw it, the others tried to act as if it was normal. Lancelot of course, barely noticed it.

Merlin went back to his horse, grabbing a map and a book with his own notes, that he updated with spells that he thought could be useful. The book was small, easy for him to bring with him to places like these, yesterday did he write the spell of Aliot in it, for him to practice. He went and sat by a tree a few meters away from the fire and the rest of the group. It felt weird not to be there cooking, and constantly checking that the fire was going, but that was not his job, not anymore.

The knights moved around the fire, making dinner, and continuing the lighthearted conversations. Everyone often glanced to Merlin direction, seeing him leaning against the tree, with his book in his hands. They all felt awful for what they had done to him, and how they have treated him. They all wanted to make it right, but that was easier said than done.

When the sun had gone down, did Lancelot approach Merlin. “Is it okay if I join you for a minute?” Lancelot said looking down at Merlin, he had a cup of water in his hand holding it up to Merlin as a peace offer. Merlin took it and spoke. “Of course, be my guest.” He waved his arm to the empty space beside him. Lancelot quickly placed himself beside Merlin, also letting his back lean against the tree. Lancelot wanted to sit closer to him but did not dare to because he was unsure of where he had Merlin.

“I’m sorry.” Lancelot began, making Merlin turn to watch him as he drank from the cup. “We all are. We should have handled it better, we should have talked to you earlier about it and not made such a fuss about it.” Lancelot turned to meet Merlin’s eyes. “I know I messed up, big time. But please, just talk to me.” Merlin sighed.

“I’m sorry too. It’s just now that you all know, it’s like I don’t even know how to behave anymore.”

“You have nothing to feel sorry about.” Lancelot said, slowly closing the space between them, as he leaned closer.

“But I do. I’ve lied to them for years, Lance. They have never known the truth like you. It’s just.” Merlin stopped and sighed. “I’ve hidden who I am for so long, and I’m so tired of pretending, I’m just so tired.” Lancelot looked at his friend, so many lies unfolded to quick in his world for him to handle, it broke his heart to see Merlin hurt so much because of it.

Lancelot turned to look at the knights around the fire, they were all watching him, as Elyan poured out the food into the bowls. Then he turned back to Merlin.

“Merlin, none of us is going to hurt you. You know that right?” Lancelot was not sure Merlin did know that. The way he had acted in the throne room the night before made Lancelot think over ever interaction he has had with Merlin during the years, did Merlin really think that he was going to stand by, and watch as he burned? Lancelot then understood that he had been the worst best friend that the world could probably offer, if Merlin thought that, which he clearly did.

“I know. If I wouldn’t have known that I wouldn’t have let you come.”

“I know that we haven’t acted as good friends to you in the past time, but if you would let us, we would like to try again.” Lancelot said hoping that Merlin would agree, and to give them a second chance even though they didn’t deserve it. Merlin was silent.

“Well, I believe dinner is ready.” Lancelot rose up. He held out his hand to Merlin. “Do you want to join?” Merlin looked up at Lancelot, carefully watching his hand as if it was poison. Slowly did he raise his hand and grabbed Lancelot’s in his. Lancelot’s face lit up with hope as he felt Merlin’s hand. Lancelot helped Merlin up, by dragging in his arm. Merlin left his book and map by the tree but took the cup with him over to the fire.

The other knights smiled at them as they came forward the fire. Merlin had questions to them, as he was sure they did to him, he was trying to calculate if this was a good moment to ask his questions or not. Thinking that they probably won’t ask theirs because they are too afraid to upset him. Elyan gave them each a plate with food.

Gwaine decided that it was story time and went on to tell them about one of his nights before he became a knight. Merlin looked down at his stew, poking it around with his spoon. He sat beside Lancelot and hadn’t spoken during the whole meal. As Gwaine went on did Lancelot nudge Merlin’s knee with his own knee, making Merlin look up at his friend.

“Come on, you’ve got to eat. It’s like you told to Leon, we need to be well rested when we reach Morgana.” Merlin admitted his defeat, apparently, he hadn’t gone as unnoticed as he had thought. He looked back at the stew and began eating.

Merlin was done with his stew the same time Gwaine was done with his story. The rest of the knights was done long before him.

Merlin got up, turning all eyes on him. “Tomorrow, will we meet up an old friend of mine. He will tell us the exact position of Morgana, then we will start heading straight towards her.”

“Wait, I thought Iseldir said they knew where Morgana was.” Arthur said looking at Merlin. Merlin turned to him.

“Well, yes. What he meant was that he did know someone that do know where she is.” Arthur nodded as he accepted that as an answer. Merlin then went to his horse to grab his sleeping roll.

As he passed the fire again, heading towards the tree did Arthur stop him. “Wait Merlin.”

Merlin stopped and looked at him. “Those men in the forest. Who where they?”

“They were some of Morganas men. They often creep around Camelot, they mostly go unnoticed. But we cannot risk letting her know that we are on our way, we need to be extra careful, not meeting anyone along the way.” The knights around the fire nodded, it would be to much of a risk if Morgana was ready for them. Merlin turned away again, before Arthur stopped him again.

“Oh, and Merlin. I’m sorry.” Merlin looked Arthur in the eyes. He could see the regret in them. Even though Merlin knew he should forgive them, they were his friends and they have been proving their trust to him with accompany him on this journey. But he still could not forgive them, not truly. He gave Arthur a little nod.

He planed on going back to the tree, but his cravings for answers became too big, he needed to know.

“How long have you known?” Merlin looked at Arthur, almost scared as if he had asked a forbidden question. Arthur himself did not look much better, he looked startled at Merlin, then he turned his glance down to his cup.

“About three months now.” Arthur looked defeated by it, as if he was ashamed. Merlin nodded. “Okay.” Merlin said silently. “We will spend most of our time on horseback tomorrow. Try and get as much sleep as possible. We leave at first light.”

Merlin said, then he went to the tree and rolled out his bedroll. He took his blanket and laid down. He laid on his back, facing away from the fire, looking out in the forest. He thought about of what Arthur had said. It was when he found out that he started pushing him away, Arthur’s first instinct to magic was to push it away, Merlin could not blame him. A lot of Arthur’s sorrow have had its roots in magic, but pushing magic away, also meant pushing Merlin away, Arthur knew that, and he was okay with it. But still he wanted Merlin to become court sorcerer, maybe he still trusted him.

Chapter 4: Dragon Lord

Summary:

It is time for Merlin to meet his friend and to really know where Morgana is. All though the knights might reconcider why they went along on meeting this friend.

Chapter Text

Even though Merlin had told the others to get sleep, he didn’t get much himself. Good for him, he was used to it, he had learned how to function with as little sleep as possible.

When he got up, he saw Elyan, Percival and Leon sitting by the fire. He went up to them, placing himself on one of the empty stocks. He rubbed his eyes with his hands as he listened to their conversation.

“I’m telling you I heard some weird noises tonight.” Elyan said.

“Well, whatever you heard it is far gone now. You had the first watch, and I didn’t hear anything on my half of the night.” Leon said, trying to ensure Elyan that everything was alright. Merlin yawned.

“It was probably Gwaine snoring, he should take the first watch next night. Giving the rest of us a chance to fall asleep.” Merlin said, with his cheeky voice. The knights around the fire had not expected Merlin to join their conversation and looked at him in confusion, but they still gave away some chuckles.

“Hey! Excuse you! I sound wonderful when I sleep!” Gwaine screamed from his bed roll, waking the rest of them up. They all laughed at the comment, and Gwaine got up, as he no longer felt any need to stay on his bed roll. He came to sit beside Merlin.

“You should hear Percival sleep. It is like sleeping next to a whale.” Gwaine said grinning at Percival. Percival held up his hands in the air, as an innocent man. “No need to bring me down with you.” Percival said as his defense. They all continued laughing.

Arthur and Lancelot then came to join them. They shared a few bread pieces between each other when they heard a loud sound. “What was that.” Gwaine asked, breaking the silence that had been created. Then they heard the sound again, coming from up above. “I believe that is what I heard during the night.” Elyan said.

They all turned up to watch the sky, when they saw the outline of a dragon flying above them.

All the knights grabbed their swords and made a circle around the fire, pointing their swords up in the sky. “I thought I killed the last of them.” Arthur breathed out in disbelief. They stood like this for a few seconds then Merlin went up to his bed roll and started to pack.

“Merlin, come back.” Gwaine hissed at him.

“What? We can’t stay here all day looking up in the sky, we would stretch our necks after a matter of time, besides your swords won’t do anything against it. It’s a dragon. We need to keep moving, my friend is expecting me.” Merlin said. None of them came up with an argument against it, except it didn’t feel safe out there, but they did not want to risk being called a coward by Merlin.

 

 

They were back on their horses again, with Merlin at the front. This time they talked as they used to, not entirely, but nearly. Merlin joined in with a few comments as they went along. He had Lancelot beside him, they all knew that it should be Arthur that was beside him, but they weren’t there yet.

Merlin stopped by a tree, tying his horse to it. “Me and my friend are going to meet over there.” Merlin pointed towards a clearing further ahead. “You can stay here and rest until I come back.” Merlin said as he began moving towards the clearing.

“You cannot be serious.” Arthur said, as he went down from his horse.

“What?” Merlin asked, looking at the group.

“Merlin, if you didn’t realize there’s a literal dragon out there.” Gwaine said, moving his arms around, showing that the dragon could be anywhere.

“It’s fine. I’ll be quick.” Merlin continued walking, stumbling over a rock that almost made him fall to the ground. Arthur shook his head.

“Either all of us go, or no one. This is not the time to be splitting up.” Leon said, leaving no room for argument, they others seemed to agree.

“Okay but leave the horses here.” Merlin finally gave in.  

As they went towards the clearing did the knights draw their swords, scanning the area as they went. When they came to the clearing did, they see a dragon Laying there peacefully resting. The dragon spread physical warmth around it, just by existing. When Arthur saw it laying there did he scream. “On me!”

The knights went into position behind Arthur, pointing their swords towards the dragon. The dragon began moving, lifting its head, and opening its eyes, to look at what was happening. Merlin went up in front of Arthur, feeling embarrassed to have brought them with him. “Merlin, mate!” Gwaine hissed at him. Merlin held up a hand, asking them to stay where they were, as he went closer to the dragon.

When the dragons head was lifted to its full length and the dragon had placed itself in a sitting position, did it begin to laugh. The dragon’s laugh was deep, and almost made the ground rumble. “This is priceless. Emrys and his knights.” The dragon laughed out. The knights still had their swords pointed at the dragon, although their faces were now covered in confusion. Merlin stood there looking at the dragon laughing.

“Are you done yet?” Merlin said to the dragon. The dragon turned to look directly at him.

“Yes, yes. I can see why you’re so found of them. They are all honorable and brave men.” Kilgharrah said.

“This is your friend?” Elyan said, pointing his sword to the dragon, while looking at Merlin.

“I said you didn’t have to come.” Merlin said as he turned to look at the knights. “And those swords really aren’t going to do anything, so you could put them away, please.” Kilgharrah watched the knights put the swords away, even though they looked unhappy to do so.

“So, young warlock, what can I help you with?” Kilgharrah said, as soon as they all had putted their swords away and turned his attention back to Merlin, who stood at the front of the group.

“Iseldir told me you know where Morgana is, do you?”

“Well of course I do. Why do you ask?”

“We’re planning to go there, to stop her once and for all.” Merlin said, power and hope filling his voice.

“And what will you do when you get there? Merlin I am no fool, neither are Morgana.” Merlin could already tell that Kilgharrah would not like his plan.

“I’m planning on using the spell of Aliot.” Merlin said, no longer daring to look the dragon in the eyes.

“The spell of Aliot? Are you out of you mind, Merlin? I’m sure Gaius must have warned you about what might happen if you do use it.” Merlin nodded.

“Yes. You’ve always told me I must do what I can for Albion and Arthur. Maybe this is my destiny, maybe this is how it’s supposed to be.”  Merlin said, looking at the dragon, sure of his statement.

“You know when I first meet you, I saw something hidden, something invisible. Now it is there for all to see, and I am not only referring to your magic.” Merlin chuckled, during his time knowing Kilgharra it was not usual that he complemented him.

“A lot of what you see today, old friend, is thanks to you. Now please do tell me where I can find Morgana.” Kilgharra looked down at the young warlock, he did not yet seem convinced about it, but he knew that if he did not tell him, he could command him. Kilgharra then looked at the knights, he was trying to see what they knew, most of them still looked wary by being in the presence of a dragon. Then he looked back at Merlin.

“Morgana is hiding in an abandoned castle, by the northern borders. I believe Sir Percival will know the way.” Kilgarharra glanced at Percival, who seemed to be shocked that the dragon knew his name. “But Merlin, you need to be cautious. Morgana’s power has grown, and she has Aithusa.” Kilgarharra added the last bit with sadness in his voice. Merlin nodded.

“Is she alright?” He said, not sure if he wanted to hear the answer.

“Yes. They are still kin. Morgana wouldn’t do anything to hurt her.” Merlin nodded again, this time in relief. “It’s been an honor, taking part in your story, young Warlock. I hope that we one day, will meet again.” Merlin smiled gratefully up at his friend.

“Thank you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be a better friend to you.”

“No, Merlin. You did good.” Kilgarharra made himself ready to leave, stretching out his wings, when he was ready for take of did, he looked at Merlin one last time. “Goodbye, Merlin.” Merlin smiled at him, and with that did the great dragon take off.

Merlin stood still and watched as he flew away, his hair flew with the wind that Kilgarharra created with his wings. Then Merlin went up to the knights, standing behind him. They all were speechless, none of them was sure how to react after hearing the conversation between Merlin and the dragon.

“Percival, did you understand which castle he meant?” Merlin said. Percival let his eyes remain on the dragon in the air, then he turned to Merlin and nodded.

“Yes. I once visited it as a kid.”

“And you know the way there?” Percival nodded again. “Good. Okay let’s go, we’ve wasted enough time.” Merlin said, walking past the group of knights still looking up in the air. Merlin walked back to the horses. He heard how the others started to follow him behind.

“Merlin. Merlin wait. You cannot – Merlin please explain why you just talked to the dragon as if it was a normal thing to do.” Arthur almost ran up to merlin, walking directly after him. Merlin shrugged his shoulders.

“He knew where Morgana is, that’s what’s important.” Merlin said, continuing to walk to the horses.

“No, Merlin. You told me that I killed him, how did he – why did he leave?” Arthur found it hard for him formulate his thoughts, it was all so new to him. Merlin continued looking toward, not acknowledging Arthur beside him, more than answering his questions.

“He listened to his dragon lord, who told him to leave.” Arthur put a hand on Merlin shoulder, forcing him to stop. Then Arthur turned Merlin around, forcing him to face them. Arthur did not put Merlin in a hard grip, if Merlin would have wanted to, he could have shrugged his hand of.

“Merlin. Balinor died, he was the last dragon lord.” Arthur looked Merlin in the eye. Remembering that Merlin had cried over Balinor’s death, and how scared Merlin was. Merlin looked at his friends, feeling ashamed for all the lies all over again. He began fidgeting with his hands in front of him.

“Balinor was not the last dragon lord. I am.” Arthur pulled away his hand he had kept on Merlin’s shoulder until now.

“I don’t understand. How can that be.” Arthur said shaking his head in confusion.

“A dragon lords’ power is passed down, father to son. But it’s not until that the father dies, that the son can inherit his powers.” Merlin looked at Arthur as he made the connection, then Merlin confirmed it. “When Balinor died, did I become a dragon lord.”

All the knights now connected the dots, Balinor was Merlin’s father. Not all the knights had been present in Camelot under the dragon attack, but they had heard of it and the damages it had come with. They had heard the great story of how Arthur had killed the mighty beast. Arthur shook his head still in disbelief. “You said you never knew your father.”

Merlin felt a lump starting to form in his throat. “I didn’t. Gaius told me the same morning we rode off to find Balinor about my connection to him.” Merlin looked around, weighing his options if he should tell them the story of his father or not. He came to the conclusion that they might as well know.

“Gaius helped him flee from Camelot, after that Uther had sentenced him to execution.” Arthur flinched at the mention of his father, but Merlin continued. “My father had brought Kilgarharra to Camelot, after that Uther said that he wanted to make peace with the dragons. But then Uther chained him and locked him into a cave beneath the castle. Uther then said that a dragon lord’s power is too much alike magic, therefore it was punishable by death. Gaius sent Balinor away to Ealdor, where he meet my mother. Then the knights of Camelot started to look for him beyond their borders, they chased him like an animal and forced him to flee into that cave.” Merlin took a deep breath. “My mother never had the chance to tell him she was with child before he left. He went on to live his life, without the knowledge of me, until his last day.”

Merlin felt like he wanted to cry, it was a long time ago this had happened, and he had spent many nights crying over it. But this was the first time telling anyone else but Gaius about what happened, about the sorrow caused by the lost of his father.

“Merlin, I’m sorry. I told you no man was worth you tears, I – I didn’t know.” Arthur began. Merlin put a hand on Arthur’s shoulder, stopping him to continue speaking.

“Arthur, I never blamed you for what happened. This was Uther’s doing, I have never once held you accountable for any of it, you are not to blame. You’re better than your father in every way a man can be.” They looked each other’s in the eyes, then Merlin let go and headed back to his horse.

They rode in silence again, Merlin at the front. The knights shared uneasy looks with each other but did not speak much of it. When Merlin rode at the front, did he let a few tears roll down, but only when he was certain no one could see.

 

 

At the late afternoon did they stoop to rest. Merlin pulled out his map and he and Percival started to discuss they easiest way to the castle where Morgana was. Percival said that they would be able to reach it within a day’s ride, they would be at Morgana’s the next day. The rest of the knights gathered around them, watching them point at the map and speaking of the easiest route. When they seemed to know which path to choose, did they both just end up staring at the map in silence.

“The great dragon mentioned something about a Atheisa?” Leon said.

“Aithusa.” Merlin said, still looking at the map.

“Yes. What is an Aithusa.” Leon then continued asking. A small smile could be seen on Merlin’s face. He shyly looked up from the map.

“Well funny story.” Merlin chuckled and put the map away. “You remember when we traveled to the tomb of Ashkanar, to retrieve the dragon egg before Julius Borden did. Well, good news, we did get it or, well I got it.”

“You were in there when the tower collapsed?” Elyan said worried. Merlin nodded.

“Yes, it started to collapse when the egg was taken from its pillar. Either way, I kind of like helped the egg hatch.” Merlin was looking at the knights trying to find any sort of reaction.

“You’re telling me you’re a father?!” Gwaine let out. Merlin groaned.

“No, Gwaine! That – that was not. Is that really what you got out from that? That I am a father to the withe dragon, who has now become best friend with Morgana.”

“You should have raised your kid better. Not really good at choosing friends it seems.” Gwaine continued.

“For heaven’s sake Gwaine. She’s not my daughter.” Merlin wanted to act mad about it, but he had a big smile on his face as they talked.

“There is no shame in being a young, independent father, Merlin.” Gwaine held up his hands, defending himself. Merlin bowed his head and shook it, still smiling. When the knights saw his smile, did they also join in, laughing with Gwaine.

“Either way. Will your dragon-not-daughter, be in the way of what you must do?” Leon said, he was amused by Gwaine’s comments, but not so much that he laughed along with it as the others.

“No, she won’t. I will call for her and then she will be out of the way to be hurt.” Merlin said regaining the seriousness. Merlin then yawned and stretched, he was starting to get tired.

“Maybe we should start thinking about making up camp soon.” Lancelot said, catching Merlin’s movements.

“It’s a druid camp nearby, I thought we could stay there tonight, to save time. We will be there before night fall.” Merlin said getting up. Few of the knights were uncomfortable with the idea of sleeping at a druid camp, considering their past with them. But Merlin was up, walking to his horse, before they could say anything.