Archive of Our Own ^beta

1.

Bae Jinsol.

It’s 1:40 am according to Haewon's alarm clock, and she’s woken up to a very uncomfortable bladder. She gets up slowly and quietly, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes with both hands and ruffling her hair as she tiptoes across the floor, careful not to wake Lily who is sleeping soundly on the other side of the room. She relieves herself, feeling heavy from sleep and she’s exhausted, ready to go back to her bed and sleep the rest of the night. It’s 1:40 am, she doesn't need to be up for at least another 5 hours and she wants to savour them. Sleep doesn't come easy to them these days.
She’s walking down the hallway and she notices a dull light coming from the living room and a quiet hum of noise coming from the TV. Haewon stretches once more and shuffles into the room to see Jinsol curled up in a blanket right at the edge of the couch, watching some comedy show that Haewon vaguely recognises on the TV. Haewon gives her a look and Jinsol smiles slightly, almost ashamed that she’s been caught.

“Couldn't sleep,” she whispers, and Haewon merely nods and walks over to sit beside her, pulling Jinsol’s feet into her lap and sprawling across the couch until she’s in a comfortable position. The show isn't particularly funny, but Jinsol quietly laughs, and Haewon laughs along with her.

There’s a soft cough from the doorway about 10 minutes later and Haewon looks up. Lily, her eyes heavy, barely open and her hair tousled from sleep, pads across the room with her blanket draped over her shoulders, mumbling something about how sleep is important and how Haewon woke her up. Jinsol moves her feet almost immediately from Haewon’s lap and shifts to sit cross legged on the couch and Haewon gives her a questionable look, but Lily is already beginning to lie down on the other side of Haewon, moving so her head is in Haewon’s lap and the blanket is draped over herself. Haewon can see Jinsol smile lightly out the corner of her eye, and Haewon says nothing, her hand moving to stroke Lily’s hair softly as she goes back to watching the TV.

Jinsol clears her throat after a while and Haewon turns towards her to tell her to be quiet as Lily is asleep, but Jinsol speaks first. “Whip! You both are so domestic, you know that right?” she says softly, looking directly at Haewon’s hand in Lily's hair which has stilled, and Haewon shrugs but says nothing. Lily makes a snuffling sound in her sleep, to which Haewon suddenly thinks is the cutest thing she’s ever heard.

2.

Jang Kyujin.

It’s late evening, and they’ve all just returned back from the studio after practice. Haewon’s shoulders feel heavy and they ache, a dull pain forming from where she didn’t stretch properly beforehand. She scolds herself silently, trudging into her room and switching the light on, ridding herself of her shirt then pulling off her snapback, carding a hand through her hair before replacing it, this time backwards. She rolls her shoulders and immediately regrets it, groaning into the pillow as she collapses on her bed feeling sorry for herself.

Lily walks in a few minutes later, laughing at Haewon and sitting beside her. “Massage?” she asks, and Haewon groans again, nodding into her pillow as Lily climbs onto her bed and straddles her back, leg over each side, and Haewon can hear her rubbing her hands together for warmth. Lily starts kneading at Haewon’s shoulders and it’s the greatest relief Haewon’s ever felt, so great that she can’t bite back a moan as Lily’s hands rub at just the right spot, and if Lily's hands still on Haewon’s shoulders ever so slightly, she certainly doesn’t feel it. “Your hands are incredible,” Haewon breathes into her pillow, arching her back a little to get Lily to knead harder. Lily understands and obliges, causing Haewon to groan into her pillow again.

Kyujin walks past a second later and makes a disgusted sound, walking into the room with her eyes shielded by her left hand. “Oh gross, you left the door open while you’re… oh,” she realizes, taking her hand away from her eyes to witness the sight, and Haewon raises her eyebrows at Kyujin and grins.

“What’s up?” she asks, groaning again faintly as Lily’s hands move lower, towards her middle back.

Kyujin rolls her eyes and scoffs. “You were making obscene noises,” she replies simply, and Haewon laughs.

“Too dirty for the maknae’s ears?”

“You’re disgusting.”
Haewon shifts her weight a little so she can look back at Lily and ask why she’s stopped still all of a sudden. Haewon notices almost immediately but stays quiet, and Kyujin outright says it aloud.

“Lily unnie, why are you so red?”

She's blushing and not looking at either one of them. Kyujin decides she’s had enough, and walks back out of the room, mumbling something under her breath that Haewon isn't quite able to hear, and she’s not entirely sure she wants to.

Lily is still for a second longer, and then shakes her head and smiles, stealing Haewon’s snapback and placing it on her own head in the same way, a mischievous grin playing at her lips as Haewon looks at her with fake annoyance.

Lily’s legs tighten around Haewon’s sides a touch in response and it sends tingles through Haewon’s spine as Haewon realizes that maybe that tingling feeling isn’t from the massage at all, but maybe from Lily herself.

3.

Kim Jiwoo

Haewon arrives back from her two-hour session at the gym, hair still slightly damp from her shower there, to Jiwoo and Lily having a small heated argument in the living room. She raises her eyebrows at the both of them once they notice she’s there, and Sullyoon speaks up.

“Are you seeing this Haewon unnie?” she asks, her tone accusing, pointing to Lily.

Lily rolls her eyes and goes back to mindlessly switching the channels on the TV, feigning boredom at Jiwoo’sremarks. Haewon drops her gym bag and walks around the side of the couch to see Jiwoo pointing directly at the sweater Lily is wearing.

It’s Haewon’s, her gray one to be exact and Haewon merely shrugs, failing to see what all the fuss is about. Lily looks up at her and tilts her head a little, a smile tugging at the sides of her lips as she pulls the sleeves of the sweater over her hands as if cold, but she seems to compose herself and look down at the remote cradled in her lap like it’s the most interesting thing in the world.
Jiwoo throws her hands up in the air dramatically and gets up off the couch. “The other week you told me you didn’t like to share clothes! When I told you I wanted to borrow your gray hoodie, you said no and literally went out to the store to buy me a brand new version of the same one!”
“Our Jiwoo is ungrateful I see,” Haewon frowns, but then smirks, which earns a laugh from Lily, who sees Jiwoo annoyed and turns back towards the TV with a straight face. Jiwoo huffs and walks out of the room, saying nothing more, as Haewon slinks onto the chair nearest to her and picks up the latest edition of GQ that no doubt Jiwoo bought for herself but hasn’t managed to read yet.

She feels a shift next to her and she looks up to Lily sitting on the arm of the chair, her eyes looking at the magazine, reading along with Haewon.

“You’re not bothered, are you?” Lily asks after a while, and something in Haewon stirs as she looks up to see Lily staring directly at her, inches away as the chair is small and whatever quip Haewon was going to come out with is gone, her brain is blank.

“No,” she says eventually, her gaze not leaving Lily, “it looks good on you. You do know I wore that to bed last night, right?”

Lily shrugs and leans back against the chair, her arm brushing Haewon as she closes her eyes and hums. “I know.”

4.

Seol Yoon-ah

It’s a Saturday, early in the morning as Haewon walks into the kitchen, stretching high enough to bang the top of the door frame, startling Sullyoon who drops a spoon in the process. Haewon huffs out a laugh and pads over to the fridge, grabbing the milk from the side compartment. She picks out her preferred cereal from the top cupboard and begins making two bowls and Sullyoon stares on with the spoon in her hand.
"You’re not going to eat with that are you?” Haewon asks, turning her head to look at Sullyoon, “it’s been on the floor for longer than five seconds.”

“One, you know that rule is not true Haewon unnie, germs are germs. And two, why are you making Lily unnie a bowl of cereal? Why do you make Lily unnie a bowl of cereal almost every morning? She never surfaces at the same time as you do. She always takes longer to wake up.”

“How do you know it’s for Lily?” Haewon quirks an eyebrow and Sullyoon laughs, a small laugh that’s probably intended to be harsh but coming out of Sullyoon’s mouth, Haewon could never see it that way.

“Who else would it be for?”

Haewon doesn’t really have an answer for that, and she doesn’t have to respond as Lily comes in a second later, grabbing the bowl that Haewon hands to her and walking back into the living room without a word said between them.

“Ugh, you’re so domestic," Sullyoon exclaims, rolling her eyes and taking the milk from Haewon to put back in the fridge.

“You’re the second person to say that to me this past month,” Haewon responds, and Sullyoon merely shrugs and closes the fridge door.

“It’s true.”

Haewon turns quiet and follows Lily into the living room, sitting beside her and tucking into her cereal.

“Are you okay?” Lily queries, and Haewon nods solemnly.

“Yeah.”

Lily doesn’t press for more, she just smiles a private smile for Haewon, one that Haewon knows is just for her and it makes her heart flutter ever so slightly and suddenly she’s confused.

********************************************************************

They end up doing the dishes together, and Haewon puts too much liquid soap into the sink and there’s suds everywhere. Lily laughs, doubles over and Haewon mock pouts, folding her arms and getting herself even more covered in the process. “The lid fell off!” She protests, in which Lily laughs even more, manages to compose herself after a while and steps closer to Haewon. She lifts her hand and with the pad of her thumb, wipes away some soap Haewon has on her nose. Haewon’s breath hitches and she swiftly prays to whoever is up there that Lily didn’t notice.

Jiwoo enters the kitchen and stops, looking at the sink and sighing dramatically. She shakes her head. “You two are disgustingly cute,” she jeers as she walks forward to put her bowl in the soapy sink.

Haewon flicks some suds at her, hitting her square in the forehead and Lily can’t stop laughing again.

5.

Jang Kyujin.

It’s all Kyujin’s fault. Everything is always Kyujin’s fault.

They’re at the courts a mile or so from where they live and after a particularly flimsy pass from Jinsol, Kyujin tries to catch the ball but trips, and falls straight into Lily who in turn twists at an awkward angle on the way down. She winces and clutches at her ankle, trying not to show pain but failing, and Kyujin is voicing her apologies one after the other as Lily keeps telling her that it’s okay, it doesn’t hurt that much, I’ll be fine in a second.
Haewon can see the pain in her eyes and she’s worried, she walks over to them both and crouches down beside Lily, her hands wrapping around Lily’s ankle softly as she looks up.

“Probably not broken,” she says, "but we can have it checked out back at the dorms.”

Lily nods, and proceeds to try and get up but hisses again as she brings her weight down on the sprain, and Haewon is there to catch her before she falls. “Come on,” Haewon begins, pointing to her back, “I’ll give you a ride home.”

Lily blushes and laughs, and with a little help from Sullyoon and Jiwoo, Lily wraps her legs around Haewon’s waist and shifts to get into a comfortable position. “Are you really going to walk home with me on your back?” Lily asks, her breath ghosting Haewon’s ear and Haewon shivers.

“You are a twig, you weigh nothing, get over yourself,” Haewon responds and Lily grins against her neck and Haewon can’t help but grin too.

Kyujin groans and rolls her eyes. Haewon is going to kill her later.

***

She hears Jinsol before she sees her. Haewon is at the stove, watching the soup she’s cooking to make sure it doesn't boil over and cause a mess otherwise Sullyoon will have her neck.

“What are you doing?” Jinsol asks looking over Haewon’s shoulder.

“Making soup.”

“You never cook.”

“I never cook for just anyone.”

The words are out of her mouth before she can stop them, and she wishes at that moment she could take them back and shove them down her throat. Instead of mocking, or laughing, or teasing, Jinsol brings a hand up to Haewon’s shoulder and taps once lightly, moving to grab a bowl from the cupboard to bring back over to Haewon.

“She looks at you as if you’re the sun, you know,” Jinsol admits quietly, and Haewon stops stirring the soup to look directly at Kyujin.

Haewon scoffs and deflects.

“Because I'm super hot and I shine bright above the rest, right?” she proclaims with a smirk.

Jinsol ignores her. “You give her light. She’s happier around you.”

Haewon’s smirk falls, and she looks back at the soup. Her brows furrow and she’s not entirely sure what to answer with. Jinsol continues. “But, unnie, she thinks you’re out of reach. She doesn't know, unnie. She doesn't know, but the rest of us do.” She rests her hand on Haewon’s shoulder once more, squeezing lightly and walking away, turning back to face Haewon as she’s nearly out of the kitchen. “Don’t mess this up." She whispers, and then she’s gone.

+1.

Lily.

It’s late, too late for Haewon to be awake but she’s awoken by Lily cursing quietly in English and a loud sigh.

“Everything okay?” Haewon asks, her voice coming out as a croak. She turns the lamp on and sits up in bed, scrubbing her hands over her face a couple of times and willing her eyes to open long enough to stay awake.

“Yeah,” Lily responds, annoyed in her voice, “went to get some water from the kitchen to bring back and dropped the glass on my bed, now there’s water all over the sheets and there’s no way I’m sleeping in that.”

Haewon can’t help but laugh and Lily scowls at her, mock pouting (a trait he no doubt picked up from Sullyoon) and sitting on the only dry bit of her bed, in the corner at the left.
Lily is dressed in brown pajama pants, too baggy for her small frame so they hang on her hips, and one of Haewon’s tank tops. Haewon’s heart wrenches.

“I’ll grab the spare blanket from the wardrobe and sleep on the sofa," Lily decides, and goes to walk out of the room, but Haewon shifts closer to the wall and holds open her blanket as an invitation. “Don’t be silly.”

Lily doesn’t say anything for a second or two, just stands in the middle of the room, her face blank. Haewon is about to apologize profusely but Lily takes a step forward, and another and another until she’s lying down in Haewon’s bed, right next to her, the blanket pulled up to her waist.

They've shared a bed before and woken up practically spooning, but this time it’s… different.

Haewon is nervous.

Lily makes her nervous.

It’s silent for a while, and Haewon thinks Lily is asleep so she goes to move and face the wall but there’s a hand on her chest and she stops moving.

The streetlight just outside their window creates a small, warm orange glow in their room and it’s casting shadows across Lily’s face as she turns to face her, and it’s the most beautiful sight Haewon has ever seen.

“You know,” Lily begins, and Haewon forgets how to breathe. Their faces are close, too close for Haewon to stay calm, and she feels her palms sweating. Lily’s hand feels like a lead weight on her chest, but at the same time, she never wants Lily to take it away. Her brain is a jumble of emotions and she can’t catch a hold of one for long enough to compose a single coherent thought.

“We share clothes. You make me breakfast almost every morning. You let me fall asleep on you, you protect, and you care, and Haewon-ah… you made me soup.”

Haewon says nothing, her breathing heavier as her heart beats faster and she’s 100% sure Lily can feel it under her hand and she’s almost embarrassed.

There’s a long pause, and Lily speaks up.

“Haewon, say something.”

She hesitates. “I’m scared.”

It’s the first time she’s ever said it aloud, and her feelings rush to the surface and spill out of her mouth before she can stop herself. “I’m scared. I’m scared of fucking this up. I’m scared you don’t want me back. I’m scared of hurting you. I’m scared.”

Lily says nothing. She brings her hand up from Haewon’s chest and to the back of her neck, pulling Haewon flush against her, closing in those last few inches between them and pressing her mouth to Haewon. It’s chaste, and warm, and the best thing Haewon has ever felt.

Lily pulls away but not before pressing one, two, three more times against Haewon’s lips with her own.

They both look into each other’s eyes, and Haewon feels like she’s seeing Lily for the first time. The suppressed feelings of “fuck I like my best friend” bursting from her chest and Lily is right in front of her, sleep soft and homely and drowsy, and Haewon doesn’t think she’s ever felt this many emotions at once in her life.

Lily giggles, giggles and Haewon laughs in retaliation, pulling Lily towards her once more and shifting so Haewon is on her back and Lily’s head is on her chest.

“I feel like this is a long time coming,” Lily admits eventually, her speech a little slurred as she’s on the edge of consciousness. Haewon tightens her arm around Lily and laughs softly. “Does this mean you’re going to make more soup for me?” Lily asks, and Haewon can feel her smiling against her chest.

“I don’t cook for just anyone, you know.”
---
The alarm goes off at 7:30am and Haewon wakes up to an empty bed. She begins to panic, but looks up and Lily is at the bedside, having woken up a few minutes before. Lily yawns, and stretches, reaching down to scratch at her tummy and Haewon just wants to look forever, and she remembers she can, so she does.

Lily sits back down on the edge of the bed and rests her hand on Haewon’s cheek and Haewon nuzzles into it, closes her eyes and smiles.

“Morning," Lily mumbles, her voice deep from sleep and Haewon’s stomach flips.

They both turn towards the door when they hear Jiwoo knocking and telling them to get up. Haewon rolls her eyes, stretches and gets up out of bed to go make them both breakfast.

She hears Lily say her name, and fingers curl around her wrist.

“Should we tell them?” Lily queries, quiet enough so the others don’t hear, but loud enough that it’s not some dirty secret they’re hiding away. Her voice is laced with worry and Haewon beams, rubbing at her eyes with her free hand and she leans forward to plant a kiss onto Lily’s forehead.

“They know,” she says against Lily’s skin, “they already know.”