Chapter Text
What.
"What?"
WHAT DO YOU MEAN.
"It's not that hard to understa-" No! No! What was he on about? Was he seriously pulling this shit after they broke up? Trying to leverage his desire to stay a free-thinking human being against him for sex? What the fuck, dude! Not okay, eldritch ideal or not!
"No! I promise, jeez, it isn't like that! I just didn't think you'd have an issue convincing him by yourself! Knowing you, if you really didn't feel safe with him, you would have jumped to a less amicable solution from the beginning. Sorry."
And?
Billy paused. He took a deep, deep breath. He was gonna have to be genuine about this, otherwise Lee was ready to walk all the way back and slam his car door in this jerk's face, lingering feelings be damned.
"God, this is like pulling teeth! Can't you just let me act like I'm doing you a favor?" He really couldn't. It was way funnier to make him actually say it. "I wanna see how it goes, okay? Sure, pissing off another ideal will be fun, and you're gonna need help if you don't want this to end in a hot mess, but.. I'm just genuinely curious what's gonna happen, okay?"
Sure, but Lee was still confused. Billy seemed to be able to sense other ideals easily, so why didn't he just go to somebody else?
"Because it's you, and I have to see what the hell you're gonna do with this. You managed to survive a trial against a literal god, I gotta see this for myself."
Lee was positive his face was the same shade as the pizza's sauce, and made an effort to hide behind his water glass again. If he didn't know any better, he'd say the guy was trying to seduce him.
"That depends. Would it be working?"
Sort of. He needed to get to know him before bringing such a stranger to his apartment.
"Well, my name's Billy Thatcher, I can kick anyone's ass in chess, and I have a friend named Lee who likes to be an utter asshole when someone tries to genuinely flirt with him-" Okay, okay. Fine. The guy could come back with him. He'd have to get used to seeing an old man ass-naked really quick though.
"Shouldn't be a problem. I shared a dorm with you for most of college." Low blow. "Remember that one professor you tried to convince to give you a B in exchange for-" LOW. BLOW.
Billy snorted. "That's never gonna get old, I swear. You have the worst possible taste." Lee waited for the implication to set in, smiling.
"What- Hey! Wait, I didn't mean me too. You'd be an idiot to not be attracted to me."
No comment.
"Fine, be that way. What do you even see in this guy, anyways? I mean, I know he's the god of storytelling, so you two are definitely the same level of pretentious-" Rude. The guy was making more of a case for him to not come over at this point.
Billy ignored his protest. "But other than that, what's the deal with him?"
Lee blushed again. He was actually pretty nice, all things considered. Took him out to dinner, seemed to care more than average about his well being- enough to bring him back from going over the edge at least- and uh. Other things.
"Hey, no skipping any details. I want everything. I know you two must've done more than just cuddling on that little date of yours!"
Ugh, no. Lee did not want to share that, thank you very much. It was enough that Billy got to hear every thought in his head, he didn't need to hear about how much he wanted Diegesis to crack his brain open and- NOPE.
Billy laughed again. "Come on, you can do it!"
Fine! Lee thought he was hot, okay? He felt horribly turned on by how easily Diegesis could turn the conversation against him and cajole him into a loss, how naturally he took control in his hallow- how good it felt to be used for his own satisfaction and have his reactions consumed like they were the best meal he'd ever had. Was that what Billy wanted to hear?
…Apparently it was, from the look of the guy. Billy had gone bright red, very quickly slipping a not-nearly-large-enough tip into the bill at the table and dragging Lee back to the parking lot before pressing his nose into his neck. "Fuck, you can't just say that, man. I'm gonna get a hard-on out here."
Look, he wasn't used to talking through thoughts, okay? He didn't mean for all of that to pour out. Plus, Billy asked for it!
"You are the worst."
Except in riling him up. He seemed very good at that. "God, how about I just take you back to my place and I can show you what getting fucked by someone with real power feels like- because you have no idea what you're doing to me here." Hey, Billy had his chance in college, and it wasn't that impressive. Lee had a pretty good idea of what he was doing to him though. He figured pressing his thigh between the guy's legs sent the message well enough.
"You want to?"
Lee wasn't conceding that easily, though. Billy still had to help him. Sex could come after, if things really worked.
"Way to give a guy blue balls, bud. You still living in that dump off Herm Street?"
Hey, he happened to like his dump, thank you very much! Lee thought it was homey.
"Shit taste excuse!"
Billy didn't have room to talk, he wanted to fuck Lee! And agreed to go back to his apartment and help fuck Diegesis! He was in the same horrible boat!
"Alright, alright. Let's just go before your newest gilf withers into dust." He nodded, and the two hopped into their cars to head back. This was going to be fun.