Chapter Text
Kallus glares at Thrawn through his ever-present helmet. The other Chiss isn't looking at him, his mind l likely on more important things than a member of his own species.
It's not fair. Why do they let Thrawn show off his skin like this, allowing his unnatural eyes to meet theirs? Why isn't he forced to wear a helmet that will disguise any and every feature that isn't human?
Why has Kallus had to hide the fact he's Chiss when another commands respect with nothing more than a smooth word? Like he's just another Imperial human.
He has to leave Governor Pryce's side when his will to keep quiet, to follow his orders, gets thinner and thinner. He retreats to his personal quarters and only once he's sure the door is locked does he remove his helmet.
His eyes adjust to really seeing first, then his breathing evens out, no longer filtered through his mouthpiece. The helmet has left lines against his cheeks and forehead where they protrude more than normal. The pale body paint on his lower jaw and neck itches, but he's grown quite used to that sensation.
It doesn't help his anger, being alone like this. Now, he can only think of the face paint Thrawn doesn't have to pay for every shore leave. Or that he won't be spending every meal hidden away in his barren quarters, trying to find out if this is really all worth it or not. If he really wants to follow the Empire and what he thought they stood for, or if the new information he's dug up about Geonosis is enough to make him commit treason. Again.
He stops, taking a slow breath. He knows his anger is misplaced, and that he shouldn't continue pointing it at the wrong people. Because although Kallus is angry that Thrawn is given every privilege he was never awarded, the fact that they're both non-humans in an oppressive Empire doesn't escape him. He's read the reports on Thrawn's -honestly painful- climb to power. Every court-martial, every reprimand, and scheme to try knocking the Chiss down. It all read of how incredibly talented Thrawn is and how much easier that journey would've been if he weren't blue.
And he does have to admit, it was slightly relieving to see a cooler body temperature, like his own. His slightly infrared vision makes Thrawn immediately stand out, just as other non-humans tend to.
Like Zeb.
It helped Kallus many times over his years in the Imperial Security Bureau. He could identify hidden objects before they had a chance to be used. It made fighting in smoke or crowded areas much easier to traverse. He often caught Bridger in the air ducts, and Syndulla too -when she bothered to leave her ship-, as Twi'leks are naturally higher in body heat when relaxed.
Or, once again, Zeb. Lasats are quite interesting in the infrared. Their body heat mostly circles their inner organs and head, but there are larger patches around their feet and hands. They also have two hearts, to help blood circulate as they climb or in the cold.
Kallus bites at his lip, recalling how Zeb looked at him on Bahryn. At some point during their crash, Kallus had lost his helmet and when the Lasat realized he isn't human, he sort of...stared. Then his ears twitched and he went right back to arguing over their shaky truce.
Maybe it's a given, being treated like an equal to another non-human; but to Kallus, it felt special. Like Zeb had no issue with his blue skin or red eyes. He didn't mock or sneer at his features, not like how Kallus had mocked Zeb's.
And despite their rivalry, despite Kallus being the reason Zeb has no home or Honor Guard to return to, the Lasat kept him warm against the terrible blizzard. He offered the Chiss their only source of heat, a glowing stone that now sits beside Kallus' bed.
It was so overwhelmingly kind that Kallus didn't bother mentioning the Chiss are native to ice planets and he wouldn't likely freeze to death from only a day in that snowstorm.
Kallus only realizes he's flustered and purple when he sees himself in the side mirror. Slipping his helmet on again -whether to hide from the world or himself, he isn't sure- Kallus stands and returns to the brightly lit halls.
He can control the way he reacts to those memories. He can ignore the thumping of his heart and the smile that tries to pull at his lips again and again; the taste of 'Garazeb' on his tongue.
But the feeling of disgust at the Empire, his desire to just do something won't be pushed aside.
Not anymore.
Kallus hangs beaten and bloody in Thrawn's office, his wrists numb from the constant pressure of his cuffs.
Of course Thrawn knew about Fulcrum. He'd likely picked up the pieces easily, far more so than Kallus expected him to. And to ambush him right as he was going to warn the rebels on Attalon just rubbed the fact in; Thrawn will always be superior.
Still, the repeated beatings were perhaps a little overboard.
"I will admit, finding another Chiss in Lesser Space was...unexpected." Thrawn says, his tone rich with awaited victory. He exposed the rebel base as if it were child's play and now has set them on course to attack directly.
It's entirely and completely Kallus' fault.
"I was under the impression that my arrival to the Empire was a first. The Emporer certainly acted as such, as well as every commanding officer I encountered."
Kallus just glares at him. He has nothing to offer Thrawn. There are no angles the man can poke at that will make him spill secrets. He was specifically trained against this.
Thrawn walks forward smoothly, his eyes glowing in the dim light. "When I confirmed you as the rebel spy, I was...perturbed. I could not rationalize why a warrior would betray his purpose. How could your treachery benefit the Ascendency?"
Something sinister grows between them, like a secret kept from even the most powerful of the galaxy.
"I then realized that you do not serve the Chiss at all," Thrawn speaks Cheunh. The language alone makes Kallus shiver. "You, Xodlak'allu'sasha, were among the six Xodlak families that fled Sharb. There was an agreement between the family patriarch and the Grysks to gain them power they once had, when they were a part of the Ruling Nine.
"Given your current age and rank in the Imperial Security Bureau, you were very young when you came to Lesser Space. Likely ten or twelve. Then, as the Clone Wars came to an end and anti-alien propaganda spread, you were forced to look for help from Colonel Yularen. He sent you to his own division and so long as you hid your nature, you were allowed an equal chance in the Empire."
All Kallus can do is stare. He knew Thrawn was good, better than anyone else Kallus has encountered, but this...
"Of course," Thrawn continues. "Certain details still evade me. For example, I do not know how you came to be so close with Colonel Yularen in the first place. Was it a favor to your poor, elderly mother? Perhaps your older sisters made the agreement? Or...this could be a similar agreement to my own; Information for service."
Kallus hangs his head again, defeat tasting far more rotten than it had before. At least before, he could die thinking he had a small victory. He could've kept his history for himself.
But now, Thrawn knows. Even without the most secret of files, the Grand Admiral can easily find out every last detail about Kallus' origin. Thrawn can pick his mind apart until there's nothing left but the glowing heat left behind from Bahryn.
It's panic that pulls Kallus' ISB training back into gear. He tries to recall every file he's found on Thrawn, every detail he gathered or word spoken.
When an idea hits him, Kallus lets out a weak laugh. Two can play this game of wits.
Thrawn stops in his pacing, his head turned slightly in confusion. "What amuses you?"
The smile doesn't leave his face as Kallus looks up again. Red eyes meet. "You really are bad at politics, aren't you?" The staring match continues, but something changes in Thrawn. A slight decrease in heat around his face. "You may have the facts, but you don't know how to use them. Not in a way that matters."
The Grand Admiral begins pacing again. "Explain."
"You could've exposed me as a Chiss to Governor Pryce or Tarkin, but you didn't. To you, I am an asset that you need to understand. That's why I'm still alive now, isn't it?"
A frown. "I did reveal to them your nature. Governor Pryce and Colonel Yularen were among the very first to know."
"My nature as a rebel perhaps, but not as a Chiss." Kallus takes a breath and hopes he's right. "You wanted to see if I would join you. Having a mole in both the Empire and Rebellion would be useful to the Ascendency.
"But you don't see the larger picture. If those humans see two Chiss together, they will assume we are the same. Even if you were to expose me publicly and reveal every single detail you know concerning my origin, they would be suspicious. Not even death may be enough."
Thrawn stays quiet for a moment, his fingers tapping idly against his desk. Then, he moves to leave. "It's clear to me now that no agreement can be made."
Before the door can close behind him, Kallus speaks again. "They aren't so different, the Chiss and humans." He can't see Thrawn behind him, but the sound of footsteps has stopped. "You just traded one Empire for another."
"...I will enjoy having your company on the bridge once we arrive. If all goes as planned, then the rebellion will be swiftly destroyed. Then, you may join them." The office door hisses closed, leaving Kallus alone.
The Ghost isn't exactly safe, but at least the immediate danger is gone.
Kallus leans against the far wall within the cargo bay. He's tried to avoid the other rebels as much as possible, but there's only so much room.
At least they don't recognize him. His uniform may be the same; but without his helmet, Kallus could be anyone, really. Only he knows the truth.
It both fills him with relief and sick guilt. Ignorance is more comfortable but they should know who they're standing next to. They should frown upon him, judge his crimes. He deserves-
Kanan walks toward him, not stopping for a moment as he comes closer to his target.
Kallus speaks first, fear gripping his heart tightly. "Thank you, Kanan. For taking me in." His gratitude is genuine but he knows his life is in their hands fully. If they decide he's not worth the effort of keeping, they could easily blast him out of the airlock and no one would argue. Not even him.
A hand lands on his shoulder, firm but warm compared to the dread that fueled Kallus' escape. "Thank you for risking everything," Kanan says, his voice just as rich. Friendly.
It's entirely foreign to the Chiss.
With a nod, he lets the Jedi continue on, attending to other rebels and distributing blankets as they're needed. He refuses any help offered to him, preferring to stay standing in his corner; away from everyone else, and able to watch for sudden movements.
No one bothers Kallus for a long while, the groans of pain and the smell of sterile wipes lying just in the background. He doesn't let himself think, scared of how he'll react with so many people around. His brush with death has left him shaky and weak, his bad leg aching as badly as his sore wrists.
He almost regrets refusing that tube of bacta. Almost.
"Kallus!" Zeb's voice echoes through the cargo hold, the patter of Lasat feet storming afterward until strong arms are wrapped around Kallus' frame, squeezing much tighter than he expected.
The Chiss tenses, his instincts kicking in as he goes to break the hold, only for his legs to give out. He goes limp in Zeb's arms.
"Woah, hey!" Zeb's ears lay flat as he repositions them into a better hold, more for support than hugging. "Karabast, you look bad. Did Thrawn-"
"Please don't." Kallus closes his eyes, the very thought of Thrawn making his stomach turn. "Not...not right now."
Kallus feels Zeb nod, that purple beard brushing against his slicked-back hair. The few strands that have broken free are smashed between them, tangling with each rise and fall of their chests. The sound of Zeb's vibrations soothe the panic that-
Blinking one eye open, Kallus frowns. "What are you doing?"
The rumbling stops. "Uh, I was purring. It helps calm ya down."
Kallus vaguely recalls Zeb doing the same thing back on Bahryn when they were huddled under a rock, waiting for their rescue. "Why...how do you do it?" Kallus asks, only a little appreciative of the overwhelming calm he feels pass over him as the purring continues.
"Well, I kinda...vibrate my throat? Here, feel it." Zeb moves both of their hands to touch his neck -Kallus ignores how his heart picks up- and he purrs louder this time. The vibrations are stronger and they pass almost all the way down his chest.
To Kallus' surprise, a purr comes from him too. It stops as soon as he speaks. "I wasn't aware I could do that."
Zeb grins down at him, also pleasantly surprised. "Guess ya learned somethin' new." Their vibrations mix until they're the same frequency; a deep, low roll. It's like thunder from a distant storm.
For the first time in a while, Kallus feels completely safe.
Safe, and home.