Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

What was he doing here?

Why was he still with them?

Red Lanterns don't make friends! They don't get close to other people, especially not green lanterns, the very ones that he was created to destroy.

At most, he formed an alliance with his red crewmates, his favorites being Bleez and Skallox. Bleez because she was smart, tactful and didn't mess around, and Skallox because he didn't talk much.

Yet, here he was, sitting with Hal Jordan, going off about another show that he wanted to watch with Carol, disappointed that he would have to wait so long to catch up on the episodes that he missed.

Next to him was Kilowog, half listening and half focusing on devouring his plate of worms, occasionally making a comment on the strange things in said show.

"Who would go around carrying a weird shaped gun that's almost as big as him?"

"Because kilowog, big guns are cool!"

Those two got on his nerves, but despite it all, he found them... endearing.

He would constantly butt heads with them, throwing sarcastic comments at Jordan and straight up insults at Kilowog. But...

More than anything, he wanted to protect them, keep them away from Atrocitus's wrath.

Especially Aya

The AI was standing in the corner, listening to the green lantern's conversation, watching for incoming threats, transmissions, and tracking down any nearby green rings. All at the same time.

She was a marvelous piece of work, A machine that "wants" to be a green lantern herself. A computer that seemed to genuinely care about her crew. A robot that would look over at him in concern when he got himself hurt.

He kept telling himself that he would only stay with them long enough until he got a chance to kill Atrocitus, but he failed the attempted murder, and the Green Lanterns had risked their lives to rescue him. Now he was lost. Sure, he could try to kill Atrocitus again, but he didn't want them to risk themselves to save him again and for once in his time as a Red Lantern, he wanted to live and care for something, for someone instead of revenge.

Something that made his entire chest hurt.

He's seen this before, Red Lanterns having their rings leave them, stopping their hearts and leaving them for dead because they fell in love.

Because they forgave who wronged them.

Because they healed.

How unfair...

"Nice timing kid!"

"Because he's coming with us!"

"Nice job saving me. Thanks."

"Four, including you!"

"Great job, kid!"

"I know you are not evil!"

Occasionally, the words the Green Lanterns have said to him would resurface in the midst of his thoughts. Reminding him that they actually liked him, as much as he didn't deserve it, they cared for him.

With Aya checking on him after missions, worrying if he was injured. Hal making sure he always felt included on the team. Even Kilowog was looking out for him in his own gruff way.

"C'mon poozer, don't be stubborn! If you're wiped out, take a nap! It's safer for all of us if you're well rested."

Ah, the sergeant's way of saying that he trusted him, even if only a little.

If the green lanterns were smart, they wouldn't trust him or rely on him as much as they did. They must've noticed by now. Despite stealing Atrocitus' battery, his energy output was weaker than ever.

Aya was the first to confront him.

Honestly, he was expecting someone like Kilowog to comment on how horrible he was doing lately. Getting thrown around. Blasts from his ring doing less damage. Getting easily knocked out. His weakness should've been obvious, especially because as a red lantern he was supposed to be stronger than all of them in terms of raw ring energy.

Yet, the Bolovaxian and the Earthling made no comment when they had to save him. Nothing more than a "Be more careful, kid!"

It wasn't until that night that Aya finally confronted him.

"Razer? May I speak to you?"

Razer sighed, this was going to happen eventually. She was on the other side of his bedroom door, patiently waiting for him to open it even though she could easily appear in any part of the ship at will. How polite.

"Sure Aya, come in."

Aya walked in and politely sat on his bed, looking at him with a neutral yet, ever so slightly concerned expression.

"I wish to talk to you on your performance lately You appear more... lethargic. Your vitals show that you are sleeping more than you normally would and your average heart rate has dropped significantly. Are you ill, or are you hiding an injury from us? If so, it is advised to let the green lanterns know so we can help you get back to an optimal healthy state more efficiently."

For a machine that shouldn't have emotions, she seemed so genuinely worried about him that he felt guilty lying to her. He had no choice though, what would telling her what was happening accomplish? There is nothing she could do.

"Oh yeah, Red Lantern rings destroy and replace our hearts and since they're powered with hate and rage, if I start caring about you and the green lanterns, my ring will get weaker and weaker until it leaves me, and I go into cardiac arrest! No big deal, right?"

He looked down onto the floor, not wanting to lie directly at her face. He didn't want to lie to her, but what good would telling the truth do?

"It's nothing really, I never was the strongest red lantern. I realize I may be a liability and I will gladly stay on the ship, helping with repairs if you believe I am no longer in shape for battling alongside the Green Lanterns."

"Razer, I did not mean that you should refrain from combat, we were concerned that you may have been compromised in some way."

"We?"

"Yes, Green Lantern Hal Jordan and Sergeant Kilowog believe that you are putting yourself at risk with your diminishing power and despite not being as durable as them, you continue to throw yourself into danger. Please do not take offense, we worry about you and wish to help you in any way possible."

Ah, so the green lanterns did notice, and they were worrying about him. Why? He's a red lantern, not really part of the team and he assisted Atrocitus in killing other Green Lanterns. Wouldn't they want him depowered?

"WARNING"

Why did those damn Green Lanterns care so much?

"RAGE COMPROMISED"

He felt it before his ring warned him, like so many Red Lanterns who lost their rage before. He didn't think it would happen so soon. His heart felt like it was being squeezed in a vice grip, he felt the red energy that normally flowed through him like fire slow to a near stop and his vision began to blur. He wanted to ask Aya to leave but the look on her face told him that she wouldn't listen.

"Lantern Razer! Your vitals have dropped dangerously low, I will inform the-"

Razer launched himself up from where he was sitting.

"No, Wait Aya! I... There is something I must tell you first." They will wonder what happened to him. He didn't want Aya to think she did something wrong. He didn't want Hal to blame himself. Would Kilowog be disappointed that this is how he went out?

"USER DEATH IMMINENT"

Aya had gotten up to hold him steady and was frantically calling the others while he struggled to stand up straight. She deserved to know what was going on.

"Aya, listen... the ring is what keeps us red lanterns alive. It requires anger and hate to function, but the Green Lanterns... and you... You have shown me what it is liked to be forgiven and what it's liked to be loved again. Thank you."

He had so much more to say but didn't have the energy to explain anymore. He heard his door open again and the voices of Hal and Kilowog as his vision blacked out. The last thing he felt was himself falling into gentle arms.

Chapter Text

Hal couldn't help but worry about Razer. As team leader, he needed to make sure his crew was both physically and mentally well. Razer seemed neither in the last few days. Hal noticed that the kid had been acting sluggish, as if he pulled multiple all-nighters watching baseball marathons. According to Aya, however, he had been sleeping more than usual yet he always seemed exhausted. Razer used to take down manhunters with ease using his red constructs, usually in the shape of claws or a sword, slicing through them like the manhunters were made of butter. It made sense, Red Lanterns were created as a counter to the green energy the manhunters were made of. Razer was the team's ace against the relentless robots, but now it seemed like his ring didn't have the power it had before. Last mission, he watched in shock as Razer's construct shield shattered like glass from a singular hit from the manhunters. He would struggle to cut through them, his red energy fizzling out halfway through. Hal wanted to ask him about it, but since Razer was the "suffer in silence" kind of guy, Aya volunteered to ask instead. She and Razer seemed to be getting closer, he was more open with her than anyone else. Hal wondered if she would get anything out of him.

He and Kilowog were discussing the last mission.

"Kilowog, has Razer said anything about his power ring? Like, if there's anything wrong with it?"

"HAH! Like the poozer would tell me anything goin on with him! I asked him if he remembered to charge it and he said, 'Unlike Jordan, I well remember to charge it every morning.' Something else must be going on with him, maybe he's sick?"

At least Razer still had his sarcasm.

"Hey! I only forgot to charge it like, twice! And yeah, maybe you're right, Aya mentioned his heart rate was off. I think we should have Soranik take a look at him in the Oan hospital, make sure he's doing okay."

Kilowog let out a small snort.

"If he even lets ya!"

Hal let out a small "yeah..." he was working on a plan B if Aya couldn't get anything out of him. Razer had a tenancy to brush things off when it came to his health. He knows when its time to drop his carefree attitude and take command if the well-being of his teammates was at risk. While Hal did a good job at hiding his insecurities behind bravado and confidence, there was always that fear that creeped around in the back of his mind. A fear of losing a team member that he cared so much about. He tried not to dwell on it. Razer's a tough kid, he's survived through worse things, like being under Atrocitus' rule and the spider guild prison.

"I just hope he's-"

Hal was interrupted by Aya messaging them through their rings sooner than expected and he had never heard her this scared.

The AI was always calm and composed, no matter the situation. Sometimes, her voice would take on a more worried tone if it involved Razer, but this time she sounded absolutely terrified.

"Green Lanterns! Razer needs medical attention immediately!"

Hal's fears came rushing back as he jumped from his seat with Kilowog following closely behind. The urgency from Aya's voice spurring him to get there soon as possible. Was the kid hiding an injury? Was he alright?

His question was quickly answered when he made it into Razer's quarters. The red lantern was looking paler than usual and swaying on his feet.

"Razer? Whats wrong!"

The kid didn't respond, legs giving out under him and almost hitting his head on the hard floor if Hal hadn't thrown himself forward to catch him.

"Razer! Aya, what happened?!"

Hal gently cupped Razer's face, looking over him for injuries while asking Aya the question but he couldn't find any on his Red Lantern friend.

"It is his red ring!" Aya responded, voice almost shaking. "Atrocitus keeps his core in line by making the rings fatal to the user if they lose their rage, sending them into cardiac arrest!"

Now it was Kilowog's turn to worry.

"What? You mean the kid's dead?"

Aya's eyes started to glow, already working on a solution despite her apparent panic.

"No, but I have already set an emergency course to the planet Odym! The Blue Lanterns healing power may be able to revive him!"

Chapter Text

Seeing Razer like this made Aya wish Aga'po was right about her being an emotionless machine. Unfortunately for her, she felt fear like a living being. It clouded her thought processes and slowed her movements like a virus. Her entire being was made of the green energy that was willpower and if fear is the enemy of will, what will happen to her? She's felt it before. Her first experience with fear was at the spider guild prison when Razer ran off after she freed him from his cell, and she believed him to be leaving Hal and Kilowog for dead.

"No! You cannot leave them to die!"

To her surprise he had come back. He had run off towards the ship to get his ring, as he wouldn't be much help without it. Why didn't she think of that? She didn't know it yet, but even her brilliant, computerized and calculated mind could be hindered by fear. Once she figured it out, she wished everyone was right about her being emotionless, so she could get Razer help as efficiently as possible. She had already sent out a distress signal to the Blue Lanterns' home world, giving them a heads up for their arrival. Now all she could do was wait and hope the ship gets there on time. Even without safety protocols, it would take another 16 minutes for the ship to be ready. Hal had carried Razer to the medical bay, laying him down on one of the beds while still talking to him despite him being completely unconscious.

"Hang in there kid, we're gonna get you help, don't worry. You'll be just fine."

She knew Hal was trying to comfort himself. The Interceptors’ limited supplies wouldn’t be much help, but he would be stabilized there. She glanced at Razer's ring. It was dull and flickering like a lamp running out of oil. She tried not to think about the odds of Razer making it to Saint Walker in time. No. No matter how hopeless things seemed, she couldn't give in to fear. Hal taught her that. As if he was reading her mind, Hal spoke up. "He'll be okay, he's a tough kid. He survived being captured by Atrocitus and the spider prison, and he'll survive this!" She hoped he was right. If he perished here...

"It would be my fault if he died."

"What?"

"His ring is shutting down because he feels love for me, would I not be to blame?"

Hal spun around and placed his hands on Aya's shoulders.

"Aya, you can't think any of this is your fault. No one can make someone fall in love with them. If anything, this is Atrocitus' doing, he's the one that created the rings! I have faith Saint Walker can save him."

When she looked up at Hal, she was met with a small smile and the kindest eyes she had ever seen. She recalled the moment Hal called her beautiful when they first met and gave her a name, a "Pretty name for a pretty girl." From the beginning, he didn't treat her like a robot. He treated her like her own person and would comfort her like one. She couldn't ask for a better mentor. Those 16 minutes felt like years, constantly listening to Razer's pulse slowing and expecting to hear it stop at any moment. Hey systems notifying her that the ship was ready for takeoff offered her small relief. Kilowog finally spoke up after processing what Aya had said before.

"So, the Red Rings replaces his heart and if anything happens to that ring, he could die? Why didn't the kid tell us any of this?"

"Knowing him, he didn't want any of us to worry about it." Hal replied.

"Well, that didn't work! Dumb kid is gonna get an earful once the Blues fix him up!"

"I'm with you on that one, big guy!"

The Interceptor doors opened before it even landed, Saint Walker and Brother Warth both rushed in after getting the transmission from Aya. Hal and Kilowog were talking over each other, asking what he could do and what would happen to their red teammate.

"The blue energy from my ring will nullify the effects of his Red Lantern ring, I can take it off and heal him, but he won't be able to wield his ring again."

"That’s fine!" Hal replied quickly "As long as he'll be okay after all this."

Aya knew Razer hated feeling useless, he would see himself as such if he couldn't wield his ring. She would make sure he wouldn't.

Chapter Text

He was floating in space, drifting weightlessly into the void. He wondered if this is what the afterlife was, just nothing but darkness. He heard familiar voices in the distance, was it Ilana's? His parents? Were they here to welcome him? "Are they here to scold me for my actions as a Red Lantern?" He thought with a pang of fear. The voices grew louder and he could start to make out what they were saying.

"Did it work? It worked, right? He's gonna be ok?"

That was Hal Jordan! But how can that be? He was dead, right? He wondered for a moment if Hal had somehow found a way to communicate to the dead until he heard another familiar voice.

"I have restored his circulatory system as well as healing any damage done to his heart from the red energy. All will be well, and so will he!"

Razer recognized the voice of Saint Walker. How did he get to Odym? Many questions rushed through his mind, but right now? He just wanted to get up to see his Green Lantern friends, he especially wanted to see Aya, but he was still so exhausted. He didn't have the energy to argue back if Kilowog started to berate him for scaring everyone. Still, he attempted to wake up by moving what he could. He attempted to flex his fingers only to feel a weight around them.

"Razer?"

That was Aya's voice, so was that Aya's hand around his? Did she stay with him all this time? Of course she did, and she also had found a way to save him, she's been doing that so many times ever since they met. He didn't deserve her. He mustered up enough energy to say her name in response.

"Aya?"

"Razer! Can you hear me?"

He struggled to open his eyes, he saw a glimpse of a green and white face staring at him, only seconds later it was replaced by a big pink one.

"Kid! Yer alive!"

If Kilowog's loud booming voice didn't help him wake up, being squeezed into a hug definitely did.
"Whoa, Hey! Easy Kilowog, don't move him around like that, he just recovered!"
At Hal's request, Kilowog stopped squeezing Razer, but still held him up. All three of his teammates looked relieved, especially Aya. Razer looked down to where she was holding his hand and that's when he noticed his ring was gone. His confusion must've been obvious, because Saint Walker answered Razer's question before he could even ask it.

"I was able to safely remove your ring, thanks to Aya's quick thinking. She got you here just in time for me to heal your heart. It was a close call however."

Kilowog spoke up again. "I knew he'd be fine, kid's too stubborn to let something like this do him in!" Hal rolled his eyes behind his mask. "Right, like you weren't on the verge of tears just a minute ago."
"So were you, Jordan!"

While they teased each other, Aya moved closer to him. "How are you feeling?" she asked ever so gently. He was still so tired, but right now, he just wanted to hear Aya's voice. "I feel fine now, but how did you get me to Odym so fast?"

"I ignored many safety protocols, as much as my programing did not want me to."

"Hal Jordan has a strong influence on you, doesn't he?"

Upon hearing his name, Hal stopped his teasing with Kilowog and turned towards the former Red Lantern. "Razer, I wish you would've told us about this whole thing about the ring replacing your heart earlier. You know you can tell us anything."

Razer felt his face burn up and looked away in embarrassment. He didn't tell his comrades about his ring failing on him because he hated the idea of his team fretting over him. Instead he accomplished the opposite of what he wanted and worried them even more. "Red Lanterns weren't meant to love or to be loved. My time as one was nothing but blind anger and hatred for years, until you three showed up."

Hal kneeled down and put his hand on Razer's shoulder, causing Razer to look back to him.

"Red Lantern or not, we love you, kid. All of us."

Razer blushed. This was too much affection all at once, he was so grateful to have his friends, but now he was without a ring.

"I believe this means I must stay here on Odym? I don’t need you three to worry about protecting me if we encounter hostiles in space." As much as he wanted to stay with his team, Razer knew the small ship was prone to being knocked around and damaged. The last thing he wanted was to become a liability.

At this, Saint Walker smiled. "Razer, you have grown and changed since I met you. Anger no longer clouds your mind and I see that you have allowed yourself to love again. Tell me, what do you hope for now that you are no longer bound to your red ring?"

Razer looked back at Hal, then to Kilowog and finally to Aya. She gave him a small smile, reassuring him. Razer looked back towards Walker.

"I hope to be with my friends as long as I can."

"Then I welcome you to the Blue Lantern Corps!"

Saint Walker extend his hand towards Razer. A blue ring shining brightly in his palm. Razer never thought this would happen, he had believed that he was too far gone for a blue ring to accept him. With this ring, he could protect the Interceptor crew. Protect Aya from being hurt again. As the ring flew towards his finger, he heard Saint Walker say it again.

"All will be well!"