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After Tiff leaves it’s a few hours before the group is able to get back to camp. Despite having had their first full meal in months their feet drag against the forest floor. Darius feels the weight of their loss particularly hard, though that’s not to say the others aren’t reeling too. He’s just- tired. Tired of having no one to trust. But that’s not as important as the people staggering alongside him so he keeps his focus on putting one foot in front of the other.
When the sight of their tree house does come back into view their energy is rejuvenated, slightly, and Kenji bounds forward, throwing his arms out wide. “Voila, welcome to casa de camp fam! We’ll give you the full exclusive tour Ben, don’t worry.” He slings an arm around Ben’s shoulders and draws the muddied boy in close. Ben jumps a bit at the sudden contact, eyes growing wide, but he gives Kenji a soft smile. “The slide was my idea, just so you know. We’ve also got a shower - fully functional - and a window seat. Or, more like a fence seat, but you know what I mean.”
“And-” Darius cuts in, walking up to stand by Ben’s other side, “there’s things to keep us safe. We put up that fence and tried to keep the floor high enough off the ground so that most dino’s can’t get to it.”
“We also have a place for snacks!” Sammy chirps, throwing her arms around the three boys shoulders. Her laughter bubbles close to Darius’s ear, so infectious that he can’t help but giggle along.
Bumpy, somehow knowing that they’re about to stop, takes a few thundering strides ahead and settles below the tree house. Ben watches her go with a tight expression, eyes flicking up and down her still frame before he seems to see what he’s looking for and he glances back over at the group. Darius catches his eye and gives him a small smile. With Ben back the group feels complete. Especially when Ben smiles back the way he does, nose and eyes scrunched up as his grin widens.
They all climb up into the base and stretch out their aching limbs. The moment Darius’s feet hit the solid ground of their tree house his body relaxes slightly and he sags under the weight of his exhaustion. Kenji throws himself onto his bunk with a groan, Brooklyn and Sammy follow suit. Yaz stretches out her ankle, full focus on her routine. She’d mentioned she’s sprained an ankle before and knows how to take care of it, even without all of the usual tools. From the lack of pain on her face Darius lets her be and goes to grab Ben something to eat. The rest of them should be good food wise - Mitch and Tiff had fed them enough to last seemingly forever - but he isn’t sure when Ben last ate or how much he’s been able to eat at all.
As he turns towards the kitchen he catches Ben walking towards the ladder again. “What are you doing? Did you forget something down there or…”
Ben glances up, face eerily impassive, “Nah I didn’t. I’m going to sleep down there with Bumpy.”
Darius’s mouth falls open in surprise, “What! No, stay up here. It’s safer. Bumpy can handle herself down there.”
“And you're saying I can’t?” Ben says sharply, raising an eyebrow. Darius can’t answer before he starts talking again, voice low, “I’ll be fine. It’s what I’m used to, I’d rather sleep down there. And besides, you guys don’t have enough beds.”
Darius wants to fight it but Ben’s right; they only found five mattresses in the rubble. It’s not like they looked very hard for a sixth one, so there probably is one, but at the moment there’s only five beds in their little base. Yaz watches them silently from where she leans against the table, her eyebrows raised in question as if asking if she should cut in. He gives her a slight shake of his head and she goes back to her stretches without a word.
“I guess we don’t,” he says slowly, “but we can figure something out. Don’t sleep on the ground Ben, we want you up here with us.” Gasping Darius snaps his fingers, “Oh! We can just share for now, until we find you a bed.”
Ben freezes, licking his lips and avoiding Darius’s gaze. “You don’t have to share with me. If you really need me up here then I can sleep on the ground. You should take the bed.”
Resolute in his decision, Darius strides forward and takes Ben by the arm, “I will, you’ll just be taking it too. It’s not trouble or anything, we can both fit fine. Besides, it's almost definitely just for the night. We’ll look through the wreckage and find you a mattress as soon as we can tomorrow.”
With a sigh Ben allows Darius to drag him away from the ladder (though Darius watches him throw a longing glance down at Bumpy) and he climbs up to sit on Darius’ bunk. Even in the way he swings himself up there he’s an entirely new person. The Ben from before wouldn’t have been able to get up so easily, nor would he have tried. Probably. Darius really hadn’t… known Ben for long before. That’s the reality of it. Despite how much Ben plagues his thoughts he doesn’t really know anything about him. Either versions of him.
“I’m gonna go grab you something to eat,” Darius calls up to Ben, backing away from the beds and his thoughts.
Ben gives a thumbs up then goes back to studying the dinosaur skull Darius had used to decorate his bunk. He feels a sense of pride at that. The others hadn’t really found it that cool, despite it being authentic and in nearly perfect condition and- well they didn’t care. But Ben runs a hand over the surface and studies it with this odd expression that Darius thinks is interest, but he can’t be sure.
After grabbing Ben a can of fruit Darius climbs up to sit next to him on the bunk, scavenged fork in hand. The can opener they managed to steal from Mitch and Tiff finally ended their days of closed cans. Somehow Ben’s the first one to try whatever’s in them. Not that he knows.
Ben eats the fruit quickly, barely allowing Darius to get a look at what kind of fruit is actually inside. It looks like pineapple and maybe pear? He’d ask but as the setting sun catches the side of Ben’s face it accentuates the vague hollow look in his eyes and the already scarring skin on his shoulders from who knows what, and Darius can’t make himself say anything. So he says nothing until Ben finishes eating and moves to toss the can into their makeshift garbage, breaking the moment.
Darius takes a breath. He’s overreacting. It makes sense, he just found out that someone he thought was dead was alive and the first adults he’s seen in months ended up betraying them. Of course he’s a little shaky. But if he keeps acting all weird Ben’s going to have a harder time fitting back in with the group.
So, pressing his shaky hands to the bed, Darius leans over to meet Ben’s eye and give him a smile, “You have to be exhausted. What was it like out there… on your own.”
Ben shrugs, “It wasn’t all that bad. I mean, I got used to it. But yeah, I’m pretty tired. Do you think we could go to sleep now? Or is it too early.”
“Oh- no that works. Sorry I didn’t mean to keep you up. It’s just so surreal having you back.”
Ben smiles softly and bumps their shoulders together, “It’s great to be back.” He swings his legs up and over onto the bed and lays down on the outside of the bunk. He looks over at the horizon with a glazed over look in his eyes.
Taking this as his cue to lay down too Darius shuffles over to the other side of the bed. It’s a bit of a tight squeeze if he tries to keep their shoulders from touching, but there’s enough room for them to sleep comfortably at least. Darius presses himself to the wall anyway. He doesn’t want to make Ben uncomfortable.
The jungle is quiet tonight. As quiet as it gets. Beyond the odd dino noise in the distance and the sound of wind rustling through the leaves, it’s silent. Darius slips off easily into sleep, mind blissfully empty for once. It would’ve been embarrassing to get a nightmare about Ben when he’s right there, alive and well.
It must be a few hours later when Darius is shaken awake by a sudden movement next to him. Stifling a gasp he sits up, frantically looking around for danger only to find nothing. Ben’s sitting up too. His eyes are wide, his pupils dilated, and his chest heaves with quiet but quick breaths.
Darius lets out a sigh of relief. That must’ve been what woke him up. He makes a soft noise to get Ben to look over at him and ghosts a hand over Ben’s shoulder, waiting for an okay to touch him. “Ben what’s wrong?”
Ben whips his head around and his shoulders tense. Once he realizes it's Darius he relaxes a bit but he still looks like he’s about to bolt. “I heard something. I just need to make sure it isn’t anything dangerous, I’ll be right back.”
“What-” Darius rubs his eyes and shakes his head to wake himself up, “If you’re going down there I’m going with you.”
“Why? I can do it.” Ben’s eyes narrow and he leans away from Darius.
“I’m not saying you can’t,” Darius raises his hands placatingly, “but I don’t want you to be alone. We’ve been trying to keep a buddy system around here, just to be safe.” He tries to give Ben what he hopes is a confident smile but the corners of his mouth waver. Ben can’t go off by himself, not now. Not when they just got him back. If he says no, well, Darius isn’t sure what he’ll do.
Thankfully Ben sighs and nods before swinging himself over the side of the bunk to climb down. His feet land on the ground nearly silently. If it weren’t for the quiet groan of the wood it would have been like Ben hadn’t taken a step at all. Darius on the other hand winces as his sneakers hit the ground a lot louder than he’d wanted them to. Luckily nobody else seems to wake up, or if they do none of them say anything.
The pair climb down to the ground and slip out of the gate into the night. Bumpy lays fast asleep just a few steps away, but other than a quick glance Ben walks right past her. This must be really serious to him, then.
Darius follows Ben closely as they creep around the perimeter of the clearing. He watches Ben’s back; his shoulders tense, muscles contracting. His uneasiness makes Darius’ skin itch. The only sound they make is the slight crunch of rocks beneath their feet. It seems to protrude into the night and direct every danger towards them. But, somehow, they manage to sneak around the base without encountering anything dangerous.
Darius lets out a breath of relief and reaches over to grab Ben’s arm and pull him towards the ladder, but he only grasps at air in the spot Ben was just standing. Surprise and fear shoot through his body and he turns around frantically. Ben’s gone. Again. And they just got him back.
“Ben!” Darius hisses, speaking as loudly as he dares to. “Where are you?”
“Over here,” Ben voice calls out softly from the bushes, “be quiet and come tell me if these dinosaurs are dangerous.”
His feet move before his mind does and Darius rushes into the bushes. The leaves hit his face and he bats them away. He really hopes he doesn’t have to pull a tick off of himself after this. He really really hopes that Ben didn’t find anything that’s about to chase them. He sees Ben’s silhouette crouched next to a tree. He’s leaning on the bark, hands wrapped around the indents in it so he doesn’t fall as he looks past the tree into the distance. Darius crouches next to him and places a hand on Ben’s shoulder to steady himself.
As soon as he peers into the woods he immediately realizes what Ben’s looking at. A couple apatosaurus’ stand in the darkness, heads bent to the stream to take big gulps of water. The moonlight glints off of their greenish-gray skin. Next to them stands a few parasaurolophus’. The two adults watch the treeline around them while the younger one drinks from the stream, faster and more energetically than the apatosaurs.
Darius leans closer to Ben, relaxing, “They’re herbivores, don’t worry.” They share heat for a minute, Ben’s back pressed to Darius’ chest. Their breaths come in unison, which he only knows because of the rising and falling of their shoulders. They’re both silent in awe and lingering fear. “I haven’t been able to get this close to a apatosaur yet. This is amazing,” he whispers into Ben’s ear.
Ben huffs, “Yeah it’s pretty cool. Do you wanna get a closer look?” He looks back at Darius. Moonlight glints off of his eyes making them shine in the darkness, accentuating their gentle color.
Darius can’t help but grin. “Yeah. Let's do it!” His voice raises in excitement and he sucks in a breath through his teeth. Dammit. He’s gotta be careful. “Whoops. Let’s do it quietly.”
Ben nods and they both slink off past the tree. They stay low to the ground, knees brushing against the dirt and grass. A root snags on Darius’ knee and he stifles a yelp at the pain. At a glance it doesn’t look like a bad cut but he’ll get a better look later. At least he doesn’t feel any blood running down his leg.
They crouch side by side in a patch of taller grass and share a surreptitious look. A sneaky smile has snuck its way onto Ben’s face. It makes Darius’ body itch to go, to do. There’s this air to Ben now that makes him want to break rules or climb a tree. It’s not always there. Whenever they’re in danger or when Ben seems to act like they are he’s almost a closed shell of a person. But in moments like this he’s a ball of uncovered mystery that exudes ambition. Darius soaks it up and leans forward to tell Ben more about the two dinosaurs. As he shifts onto the balls of his feet he loses his balance and goes toppling into Ben who reaches for something to hold onto, but of course there’s nothing and they both go tumbling to a pile on the ground.
As they land they only jostle the grass around them. The impact wasn’t very loud, thankfully, but Darius isn't surprised as he hears the parasaurs make a sound of warning and the thundering of the dinosaurs running away. They’d been watching out before, of course they notice a little bit of grass moving.
“Damn,” Ben mutters, sitting himself up, “we spooked them pretty easily. They didn’t waste a second getting away.”
“Yeah. It makes sense though, I should’ve told you we needed to be extra careful. Parasaurs and apatosaurs have a special relationship; parasaurs watch out for danger and the apatosaurs use their tails,” Darius uses his arm to demonstrate, causing Ben to shuffle away to avoid getting hit, “to fend off any predators. But this time they were able to just get away.”
Ben gives a thoughtful hum but swats Darius’ hand down, shooting him a look. Darius gives a sheepish smile. When Ben starts to speak again, though, he sounds vaguely interested, “So they have a symbiotic relationship?”
“Yeah!” Darius exclaims, excitement bubbling at Ben’s interest. Usually people don’t know what he’s talking about. “How do you know that?”
“Bio class,” Ben shrugs, “I remember learning about it.”
Darius pushes himself up to stand as Ben does the same. He grabs Ben’s shoulders and shakes him slightly, trying his best to keep his voice low as he rambles, “It didn’t hit until now, but man! That was so awesome. I can’t believe I got to see that in real life. It sucks they ran away but we got to see inter species relationships just a few feet away from us!”
“Yeah yeah, it was cool,” Ben laughs quietly and grabs Darius’ wrists to pull them down gently. “We should go back to camp. I guess I got all worked up for nothing.” He lowers his eyes and fiddles with a hole in his shirt.
“I guess,” Darius whispers back, struck by the sudden uncertainty.
They sneak back to camp in silence and climb back into bed. Ben immediately lays back down but his eyes stay open, fixed on the treeline in the distance. He’s waiting for something. Even though they checked the whole perimeter, he’s still waiting for danger. Darius can’t blame him, not at all, but it would be good for them both to get sleep.
He nudges Ben with his elbow, “Hey, are you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine,” Ben replies shortly without turning to face Darius. “I’m just not very tired.”
“I get that.” Darius lays down onto his back and looks up at the stars. He can feel the warmth of Ben’s body just next to his. “This has been crazy for us, I can’t even imagine how on edge you’ve had to be.” He can feel Ben shift to lay on his back so they’re shoulder to shoulder. He doesn’t move to break the contact of their arms pressed together. It feels nice to know Ben’s there.
“You say that but it’s not like you take advantage of having a group,” Ben mutters.
His voice sounds so serious and accusational that Darius props himself up on his elbows and looks down at Ben’s face. Ben’s gaze is inscrutable and he doesn’t so much as glance Darius’ way. “What do you mean?” Darius asks, daring to push.
“I mean that you’re being reckless. You all sleep at the same time. What if something happens?” Ben’s voice grows more frantic and he finally sits up. “You have a group, set watch shifts! That way you can all stay safe and-”
“Okay, okay. I get it Ben, but lower your voice.” Darius grabs Ben’s wrists, mirroring what happened earlier that night, and pulls him in closer. “That’s a good idea. We should bring it up with the other tomorrow. But right now we’re all exhausted. We should sleep. You should sleep.”
Ben’s lips wobble and he bends his head forward, hiding his face from Darius’ view, “Okay. Whatever.”
Darius sighs. Ben looks too small like this, all bent in on himself, and for the first time since he came back to them again Darius finds himself alienated at Ben acting the way he used to. It’s as if someone let all of the air out of his body and left him deflated. He bends down to meet Ben’s eyes and tries to tell him through the look that he’s on Ben’s side. “Do you wanna know something?”
“What?”
He takes a breath, preparing to spill his biggest secret, and lets go of Ben’s wrists. “I’ve been having nightmares every night. Bad nightmares. Sometimes they’re about the dinosaurs but usually,” he pauses, faltering, but keeps going, “they’re about you. About you falling. But tonight for the first time since we lost you I slept fine. And, y’know, call me crazy but I think it’s because you’re right here. I guess my mind can just feel it. You’ve helped me get good sleep just by laying next to me.”
“And then I went and woke you up,” Ben mutters.
“Because you were worried, for a good reason! Look, all I’m trying to say is that you’re helping me so I want to help you too. How can I help you sleep, at least just for tonight?”
After a beat Ben, without looking up, grabs Darius’ hands tightly, “You have been helping, actually. It’s just like you said, you being here makes it easier to sleep. I guess it’s just… less easy for me than it is for you. But maybe-” Ben shakes his head, “no never mind.”
“But maybe what?” Darius prompts, shuffling closer so their knees touch.
Ben turns his head to the side. In the moonlight Darius catches a glimpse of a flush rising on his cheeks. “Maybe it would be better if we slept closer together.”
“Oh,” he finds himself grinning, “yeah, that makes sense. Hey, we’ll be kind of like the parasaurs and apatosaurs, helping each other out.”
Ben chuckles and finally looks back at Darius, eyes incredibly soft if makes Darius’ excitement stutter. “I guess we are.”
And that was that. Without saying anything else - because what else is there to say really - Darius lays back down and so does Ben but this time they face each other and lay close enough together that they’re swapping breaths.
After a moment of hesitance Darius wraps an arm around Ben's body and pulls him in close. Ben wraps his arms around Darius’ outstretched arm and suddenly they’re both enveloped in the warmth of closeness.
It’s only a few seconds before Darius’ eyelids begin to feel heavy but before they slide closed he watches as Ben’s breaths even out and his body relaxes into Darius’. Yeah, they’ll be alright. Ben’s alright, he’s alright, the others are all alright. He can hear Kenji snoring just below them and Brooklyn whispers something unintelligible in her sleep, and he lets his mind go blissfully blank. All he cares about now is his friends and Ben’s warm, alive body.
He doesn’t dream of anything. And that’s progress.