Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“You look terrible.” The sound of Vermouth’s voice reached Rei’s ears as he leaned against the wall, trying to gather enough energy to get himself home. Turning his head to look in her direction, he rolled his eyes.

“Ah, you really know what to say to make a man feel good about himself, don’t you?” He commented, letting out a harsh laugh. Almost immediately he found himself regretting it as the movement sent an agonizing pain through his chest and he had to grit his teeth to keep from making any noise. He had several ribs that at the very least were cracked, if not outright broken.

“It's a talent of mine,” Vermouth replied, a small smile playing on her lips, as if her sometimes partner wasn’t standing there feeling like he’d lost a fight with the business end of a baseball bat.

Rum had contacted Rei the previous afternoon, not long after his shift at Poirot had ended and from the moment Rei had seen the text notification, he’d had a feeling he was not in for a pleasant time. That feeling had only grown once he’d read the contents of the message; Rum wanted to meet and discuss his progress in looking into Kudo Shinichi. Or rather it was more likely he wanted to discuss the lack of progress.

The information he’d provided Rum since being given the assignment was sparse, mostly consisting of details about his life prior to running afoul of the Black Organization. Information from after that point was harder to find. Rum wasn’t a patient man though, and the fact Bourbon was supposed to be the best at information gathering in the Organization and still hadn’t found anything, was probably making him very mad.

Still, it wasn’t like he could refuse to go, that would make him seem like it was guilty of something. It wasn’t going to be a pleasant experience as it was, he didn’t want to make things worse for himself if he could help it. Being late to the meeting was a good way to make things worse for himself as well, so he’d only taken a moment to call Azusa and claim he was coming down with something and wouldn’t be at work for a few days, before heading out.

There were plenty of people that Rei was wary of in the Black Organization, the place was a den of snakes after all, there was no telling when someone might sink their fangs into your unguarded back. Earning a high ranking position required you to do something to distinguish yourself, you couldn’t just kill your way to the top, but that didn’t mean that there weren’t people willing to murder those in their way. They weren’t likely to achieve much that way, not unless they were exceedingly cunning, but it didn’t stop it from happening.

Rei was well aware that there were people within the Organization who would be more than happy to see him killed, not because he’d ever done anything to them, but simply because they envied his position. Watching out for people like that was something he always had to be cautious of, and that was on top of being careful not to do anything that would out him as a spy.

Still, while there were many he was wary of, Rei couldn’t say that there were more than a couple within the Organization that he was actually afraid of. He feared things people could do, the harm they could cause others, but there was hardly anyone whose mere presence could send a chill through him. Of those that there were however, Rum was at the top of the list.

Rei had been on edge from the moment he’d been escorted into the warehouse where Rum was waiting. Without his eyepatch, fake teeth and hair, there was nothing of the friendly sushi chef about him; instead he seemed sinister. As Rei had predicted, Rum had not been happy with the lack of information from Bourbon, his tranquil fury more terrifying than if he had been yelling.

The one thing that Rei had been grateful for regarding the situation was that as far as he could tell, Rum’s anger seemed to be solely related to Bourbon’s incompetence in gathering information, rather than any suspicion that he was a spy. Still he’d been careful to choose his words carefully as he offered an explanation, it wouldn’t do to garner any extra suspicion.

He’d carefully explained that he’d thus far been unable to find anything but unconfirmed rumors about sightings of Kudo and that he suspected there was someone powerful helping him out, but was still working on determining who. As with all the best lies, his words had a hint of the truth to them; when it came to sightings of Kudo, there really were only unconfirmed rumors, any friends who could confirm them were keeping their mouths firmly shut. Of course, Rei had left out one very important bit of information, that he had his suspicions as to just where Kudo was.

Thankfully Rum had bought his explanation, at least as far as Rei could tell. He couldn’t read the man’s mind after all. Still, that didn’t mean Rei had gotten off scot free, the Black Organization wasn’t the kind of place where failure was just brushed to the side. Rum had been very clear in his belief that he thought that Bourbon hadn’t put in enough effort into completing his assignment and that some punishment was in order, he wouldn’t learn otherwise. Naturally that hadn’t equated to a simple slap on the wrist or a dock in pay, the Organization preferred more painful methods for punishment.

Rei hadn’t gotten a chance to look in a mirror since then, but it was no surprise Vermouth had said he looked awful, he certainly felt awful.

“We’ve got a job,” Vermouth informed him, something approaching sympathy visible in her expression. That alone told Bourbon far more than a mirror could about how pathetic he looked.

“Great,” Rei sighed, not bothering to hide his unhappiness as he pushed himself off the wall. He wondered if this was part of his punishment, having to get right back to work without any time to rest and recover. “Help me put my shoulder back into place first.”

He’d spent most of the past 24 hours with his hands tied behind his back and the position had pulled his right arm out of place; if Vermouth hadn’t come along he’d have been resigned to trying to put it back himself. Walking over to stand next to Rei, Vermouth didn’t say a word before grabbing his arm and roughly shoving it back into the socket. Although Rei had a high pain tolerance, it was hardly the same thing as not feeling pain and he couldn’t but swear in surprise as his shoulder snapped back into place.

“A little warning next time!” Rei grumbled, shooting an annoyed glare at Vermouth, who simply rolled her eyes in response.

“That would just make you tense up and then it would hurt more,” She informed him, before turning and beginning to walk away. “Hurry up, we have work to do.”

Rei had no choice but to follow after her, with each step sending a stab of pain through his broken ribs; ideally he really needed to get to a doctor to have them checked out, but it would be a while before he could do that. The two of them exited the warehouse and headed towards Vermouth’s car; although Rei had driven himself to the location Rum had told him, he’d been brought from there to a second location, so his car wasn’t nearby.

As he climbed into the car, Rei caught a glimpse of himself in one of the side mirrors and frowned. It had been long enough since his punishment had started that bruises were starting to form, turning his face into a mess of blue and purple. He didn’t know what kind of job he and Vermouth were going to do, but he could hardly go looking like that.

“Do you have any concealer?” He asked, collapsing into one of the front seats.

“Check the dash compartment,” Vermouth told him, slotting her key into the ignition and starting the car. Biting back a groan of pain Rei leaned forward and opened the compartment, and began rummaging around in search of the concealer. After a moment of looking he managed to find something and pulled it out, raising an eyebrow at the sight of it; given the frequency with which the two of them worked together he had thought there was a chance she might have some leftover concealer that matched his skin tone, but he hadn’t expected to find a brand new container.

Still, Rei didn’t think too much of it, for all he knew he’d been the one to leave it there and just forgotten.

As Rei opened the container and began carefully covering his bruises, Vermouth shot him a quick glance. “Rum really worked you over,” She commented, before turning her attention back to the road.

Rei didn’t laugh, he’d learned his lesson about doing that earlier, but he did give a humorless smile. “I suppose I should be honored really, how many people can say they were tortured by Rum and lived?” Because that’s exactly what it had been, torture. Rum hadn’t been satisfied with just giving him a beating, he’d caused Rei as much pain as he could without putting him out of commission for too long, and had seemed to enjoy it. “He really wasn’t happy with my lack of progress.”

Something in Vermouth’s expression changed slightly, though it was subtle enough Rei was sure he would have missed it if he hadn’t been working with her for years. “You really haven’t managed to find out anything?” Vermouth asked. Her tone was nonchalant, but Rei could sense she was actually eager to know his answer. Thinking about the suspicions he had regarding Kudo, suspicions that seemed more and more likely to be true given Vermouth’s reaction, he decided to take a chance.

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly say that. I do have an idea of his location, but..” Rei shrugged, ignoring the pain it caused him. “Given the promise I made you, I can’t really do anything with that information.” To openly admit that he was hiding information from Rum was a risky move, but Rei wasn’t too worried, Vermouth would have a vested interest in making sure it stayed a secret after all.

Beside him, Vermouth froze. It was only for a second, but that was more for Rei to feel certain his suspicions were right. Edogawa Conan and Kudo Shinichi were the same person, and Vermouth was well aware of it. How exactly the teenage detective had ended up shrunken down to the size of an elementary school aged child, but he had some suspicions about that as well. If the reason Conan had so many similarities to Kudo was because he was him, then it wasn’t absurd to suspect there were others in a similar situation.

Haibara Ai, who often hung around Conan, was incredibly intelligent for her age, looked an awful lot like a younger version of Sherry and seemed to have a vested interest in avoiding any interaction with Rei; given what he’d already confirmed about Conan, the idea that Haibara was likely Miyano Shiho seemed perfectly reasonable. If that was the case, then Rei could think of one thing that the two of them had in common that might have led to their current state: APTX 4869.

Strictly speaking, Rei wasn’t supposed to know about the drug. His role within the Organization was unconnected to the work of its scientists, and information about what they were up to wasn’t freely shared with those it didn’t involve. Still, he had never been one to pay much attention to the concept of their being information he wasn’t supposed to know, especially when it was related to something he was investigating.

He still didn’t know everything related to the drug, but he was aware that Sherry had worked on it and that Kudo’s disappearance had followed having it used on him. Of course, the idea of there being a drug that could turn someone back into a child was rather absurd, but so was the idea that someone could be turned back into a child in general. It was just a theory for now anyway, he’d need to gather more information before he could know if he was right.

Though for the most part Vermouth’s attention seemed to be focused on the road ahead of them, every few seconds Rei would catch her glancing in his direction, her expression thoughtful. After several minutes of that, she finally spoke.

“I’m surprised you would go so far to keep a promise.” Though her tone was casual, Rei could clearly sense her suspicion. Except for a few hours during the night when Vermouth had left to get some sleep, something Rei had been denied, she had been present for all of the questioning and torture Rei had gone through. She knew exactly what had been inflicted on him and no doubt there was a part of her that wondered just what angle he was working to be willing to go through all that.

Although it wouldn’t have done him any good to tell Rum his suspicions when he’d been called in to talk about his investigation the previous day, he still probably would have been punished if not outright killed for withholding the information until then, but he could have said something earlier. From the moment he’d been given the assignment, it had been clear what the consequences would be if he failed and what would happen if he continued to fail, so why?

That was surely the thought running through Vermouth’s head currently.

Leaning his head back against the headrest of his seat, Rei closed his eyes and let out a sigh. “You and me, we’re not good people.” He told Vermouth after a moment of silence. “Maybe once we were, but our hands have been long since stained by the things we’ve done and that’s not something that can be undone. At the very least though, I can try and be someone who keeps his promises.” He gave a slight smile, “Besides, I like those two, I don’t want to see them hurt.”

If anyone were to ask Rei would have blamed his uncharacteristic honesty on the pain he was in, because while the words he had said certainly applied to the identity of Bourbon, they had come from Rei.

Throughout his life there had been many things which Rei had regretted; events he wished he could have changed, choices he wished he hadn’t made, people he wished he’d met sooner. While in hindsight he wished he’d stopped Hiro from following him, choosing to join the NPA and going undercover wasn’t one of those regrets. Even if his decision to join the police had originally been selfishly motivated by his desire to find Elena, he truly loved his country and wanted to protect it and its people.

His work as a spy allowed him to do that, if the Black Organization was taken down it would save so many people, but he knew he’d been irrevocably tainted by his work. It was impossible to keep your cover in a place like the Organization, let alone rise through the ranks, by keeping your hands clean. For the sake of his mission he’d been forced time and time again to compromise his own morals, until he was left feeling like Lady Macbeth, scrubbing fruitlessly at stains that would never go away.

There was not a day that went by in which Rei didn’t miss his friends and wish they were still around, but he was glad they couldn’t see what he’d become. Over the years the Zero they’d known had been worn away by life, before finally dying off with the last of his friends. Furuya Rei still existed, but sometimes he felt like a stranger even to himself.

No matter what name he went by though, the fact remained that even if he was on the side of good, he could no longer consider himself to be anything but a sinner. He wanted at least one thing to cling to though, one line that he wouldn’t cross, even if such a thing was foolish.

Of course, he’d have liked to think that even without the promise he’d made Vermouth, he never would have considered selling out Kudo. Sadly though, that was something that he couldn’t promise was true. Sometimes sacrifices had to be made. Catching and handing over a high profile target to the Organization, even if it was an ally, would do wonders when it came to increasing Bourbon’s status in the Organization and getting him closer to the boss.

He had been willing to offer Akai up as that sacrificial lamb, not that he could go through it thanks to a promise made over tea, but the idea of doing so with Kudo was more complicated. While the kid could admittedly be a bit of nuisance at times, Rei had no grudge towards him and found him quite useful to have around usually; it wouldn’t have sat right with him to leave him in the hands of the Organization.

If things had gone a little differently, he might not have had a choice though. Thus far he hadn’t actually told his superiors at the NPA about his suspicion regarding Conan, partially because saying he thought Kudo Shinichi had been shrunk to the size of a six year would probably make him sound insane, but mostly because he was wary of what would be done with the information. Furuya trusted those he worked directly with like Kazami and he trusted his superior Kuroda, but there were others who concerned him.

Some of the higher ups had been out of the field too long, to them their subordinates and the people they were meant to protect had become nothing more than names on paper. When they made a decision or gave an order, they only saw the big picture and not the individuals who would be affected by their choices. The idea of putting the many above the few wasn’t an unfamiliar concept to Rei, it governed many of the choices he made, but he believed you couldn’t forget the individuals who would be affected.

Careful calculation was required before making a choice, to be sure the outcome was really worth the cost; and if it was, then you had to bear the weight of your choice. He was afraid the higher ups would just see Kudo as a means to an end and not take into account that he was an innocent teenager nor the help he could provide. If they were to order Rei to sell out Kudo currently, he was sure he would refuse; in another life though, one where there was no promise to Vermouth nor connection with Conan, he might not view the cost as too high.

He’d never know though, so he supposed there was no point dwelling on it.

Vermouth had been quiet since hearing his answer, which he supposed was fair, she no doubt had to think about what he’d said and decide if she believed him. It was frustrating to not know what she was thinking though.

Opening his eyes, Rei let out a sigh and leaned forward so he could see himself in one of the visor mirrors, he still needed to finish covering his bruises. He still didn’t know what their assignment was, but he hoped it wouldn’t be anything too complicated and they could finish it quickly. He really just wanted to go home and get some rest.

He’d only taken three days off from work, and one of them was nearing its end already, he needed to take advantage of the time he had left to rest and recover. It would be the weekend soon, which meant he didn’t have any shifts, but there was no way his injuries would be healed in just four days. The bruises alone would take weeks to disappear, with his ribs and other wounds taking even longer. He could hardly take enough time off of work at the cafe for them to heal most of the way, let alone fully, people would start getting worried.

Rei didn’t tend to let other people know where he lived, but it wasn’t like it was impossible for people to find out. If he was ‘sick’ for too long, even if he reassured her he was fine over the phone, he wouldn’t find it too surprising to find a concerned Azusa on his doorstep. There were plenty of other nosy people who could show up as well, a downside of associating with detectives.

However, he couldn’t be honest about the fact he was injured either, it’d have been one thing if he had a simple black eye and a few bruises that could be blamed on a scuffle with a suspect, but his injuries weren’t that simple. There was no excuse he could give that wouldn’t draw suspicion, and he certainly couldn’t tell the truth. That left him with one viable option, which was to hide the fact he was hurt.

It would hardly be the first time he’d hidden an injury, there had been numerous times before, some due to necessity and others because he didn’t want people to worry. Hiro had always been able to find him out, sometimes scolding him for being reckless with his own health and other times he’d just watched Rei in concern, knowing he couldn’t do anything. There was no Hiro around to catch him anymore though, but that didn’t mean he shouldn’t be careful.

Most of his injuries would be hidden by his shirt, and the bruises on his face could be covered with makeup, it was his ribs and the arm that had been dislocated would be more of a hassle. If they were to properly heal, he had to be careful not to overly strain them, but if he favored them too much then it would be obvious something was wrong; he’d have to balance things just right. It was something he was sure he could pull it off, but it was going to be a real nuisance.

“Do you think you’re capable of driving currently?” Vermouth suddenly asked, catching Rei off guard.

“I probably could if I needed to,” He told her after a moment's thought. It wouldn’t be particularly smart, even ignoring the pain it would cause him, there was the fact he hadn’t slept in over a day; currently he had enough adrenaline pumping through his system that he didn’t feel drowsy, but it wouldn’t last. Driving while tired was something he tried to avoid, especially after Date’s death, but he’d do it if necessary.

“I’ll drop you off at your car then, I can take care of the assignment myself.”

Rei had not been expecting that and couldn’t keep an expression of surprise off his face, which apparently amused Vermouth, judging by the small smile on her face.

“Are you sure?” As much as he wanted to rest, Rei was a little hesitant to accept the offer. He didn’t know how Rum would react if he found out Rei had skipped out on the mission, the man was upset with him enough as it was.

“You’d just be a hindrance if you came, you’re pretty useless in your current shape. I’ll fill you in on what happens later, so you can complete your report.” Her words were rather harsh, and normally it would rankle Rei to be referred to as useless, but he could sense that she didn’t really mean it; at least not entirely. It was just a means to convince him, she was showing him a rare bit of kindness.

Rei really wasn’t sure what to think of such a thing though. The two of them had a rather complicated relationship; it would be inaccurate to call them enemies, at least so long as Rei’s true allegiance remained unknown, but friends wasn’t a term that fit them either. The two of them were far too willing to threaten and blackmail each other to be friends, plus they both knew they’d kill each other if they were ordered to. Mere acquaintances wasn’t an accurate description either however, they knew each other too well for that.

However one described their relationship though, the fact remained it wasn’t the kind of relationship where they helped each other out of the kindness of their hearts. He was sure the only reason for her helping him was because he’d kept quiet about Kudo, but he didn’t know if it was a one time thing or if something in their relationship had shifted. He supposed only time would tell.

“Alright,” He told Vermouth, deciding to just roll with it for now.

Chapter Text

Rei let out a tired sigh as he unlocked the door to his apartment, it had been less than ten minutes since Vermouth had dropped him off at his car, but it felt like it had taken him an eternity to get home. He’d made it home just in time too, the adrenaline from the events of the last 24 hours had started wearing off around the time he’d pulled into the apartment complexes parking lot, and he’d been hit with a wave of exhaustion; it had been all he could do to get himself up the stairs and to his door.

As Rei opened a door, a ball of white fur let out an excited bark from where he stood in the entry, eagerly awaiting his master’s return. As Rei stepped inside and slipped off his shoes, Haro spun around in excited circles, the tap tap of his claws against the wood floor filling the otherwise silent apartment. The sight of it brought a small smile to Rei’s face; he’d fought hard against his desire to take the puppy in, as an undercover agent it wasn’t smart to have something that was dependent on your continued existence for its wellbeing, but it was nice to have someone to greet him when he came home.

For the most part, any apartment Rei had lived in since going undercover had been rather bland and lacking in personality. Aside from his guitar and some specialized cooking equipment, there wasn’t really anything that gave the place an identity; it could as easily have been anyone else’s apartment as it was Amuro Tooru’s. The presence of Haro and the belongings necessary for taking care of a pet had brought a little life to the apartment, a reason to see it as more than just a place to eat and sleep.

Ignoring the pain it brought, Rei crouched down and ruffled the dog's ears, earning a happy yip in response. “Did you miss me boy?” Rei asked, and Haro licked his hand as if to say yes. “Sorry for disappearing like that.”

It was hardly the first time there had been something that required him to be gone from home for sometimes days on end, but he always felt guilty leaving Haro alone. The dog was a weakness for him, something he really couldn’t afford to have, but Rei was tired of being alone.

Straightening back up, Rei winced as the movement pulled on his ribs and the cheerful expression on Haro’s face disappeared. Placing a paw on Rei’s leg, he let out a soft whine and stared up at him with eyes filled with worry. It had taken Rei a while to realize it, but Haro was very good at noticing when he was unwell in some way and tried to watch out for him. It was cute most of the time, but it could all be a nuisance when he got in the way of Rei doing his work.

“I’m okay boy, I just need some rest,” He reassured the dog, before walking further into the apartment and collapsing into a chair. There were things he still needed to take care of before he could call it a night, but he needed a moment to rest first. Glancing around the room, he was relieved to see the remnants of food and water in Haro’s bowls, letting him know that Kazami had dropped by to feed the dog just like he had asked.

It wasn’t that he hadn’t trusted his subordinate to do so, he wouldn’t have asked him in the first place if that was the case, he was just glad to know Kazami had already come and gone. He didn’t really want to run into him right now when he was too tired to hide how awful he felt; it made Rei uncomfortable sometimes just how much of a pedestal his subordinate had placed him on, but he didn’t want to be seen looking so pathetic either.

Still, he probably should at least call the man soon and let him know he was back and still alive. They’d talked briefly before Rei had left, and Rei had made it clear that he might be gone for several days and to not contact him during that time; Kazami had been incredibly worried before Rei had even left, and so he was sure his subordinate probably was getting more each second that passed without hearing from him.

Kazami was going to have to wait a little while longer though, there was something else Rei needed to deal with first. Getting up from his chair he walked into the kitchen, lightly tapping Haro’s food bowl with his foot as he walked past it, hoping to draw the dog's attention to the food remaining in it. Honestly he was surprised that anything had been left, although the vet had said that Haro was a purebred Hokkaido Inu, sometimes Rei had his doubts and thought the pup might possibly be part pig. Had Haro perhaps realized that something was off about his owner's absence and been too worried to eat properly? Rei quickly shook his head to dismiss that thought, while Haro was smart, it was more likely that he’d just been interrupted in his eating by Rei’s return home.

Opening a cabinet, Rei dug around in it for a moment before finding an already opened bottle of painkillers. They were only the over the counter type, so they wouldn’t do much besides take the edge off the pain he was in, but he would take what he could get.

If he really wanted to, then there were technically ways for him to get something stronger. The NPA had plenty of agents undercover in various organizations and it wasn’t always feasible for them to go to the hospital for an injury, so naturally they had special arrangements for emergencies. Rei hardly considered his current situation to be an emergency though, while he was certainly in a lot of pain, his life wasn’t in any immediate danger and once he’d gotten some sleep he’d be able to bear with it.

Besides, as nice as being pain free would be, Rei would actually rather avoid any powerful painkillers. Even on the best of days it was important for him to keep his mind sharp, and that was doubly true now that Rum was upset with him; he couldn’t afford to take anything that would make him loopy.

Still he probably should visit some kind of doctor at some point, even if it wasn’t a legal one, just to make sure his broken ribs weren’t going to pierce through his lungs. That would have to wait till another day when he wasn’t so exhausted though, there was no way he could drive safely right now.

Popping a couple of pills in his mouth, Rei quickly washed them down with a glass of water before pulling out his phone. He’d deleted any contacts and information that could out him as a spy from it before he’d left, just to be safe, but he had Kazami’s number memorized so contacting him wasn’t an issue.

“Furuya-san!” Kazami must have been impatiently waiting for Rei’s call because he’d answered before the first ring had even ended, his voice filled with relief. “Did everything go alright?”

“For the most part,” Rei told him, walking back over to the kitchen table to sit down. “I was able to convince Rum to give me some more time, but I’ll need to come up with something to placate him soon. I can’t be sure he doesn’t have any suspicions about me though, so it would probably be best if we don’t meet in person for a while.”

He didn’t say a word about the theory he’d had confirmed, his suspicions weren’t something he’d ever shared with Kazami, and he didn’t plan to change that even now. Even though he had great trust in his subordinate, Kudo’s whereabouts were the kind of thing that would be better if fewer people knew.

“I understand,” Kazami informed him, before hesitating a moment. “...Are you unharmed?”

Losing the people he held dearest time and time again had hardened Rei’s heart; he wasn’t incapable of caring for others, there were certainly those he considered friends and wouldn’t want anything to happen to, but he refused to let himself care for anyone so deeply again. If he were to let anyone else into his heart and something were to happen to them, he thought it might destroy him.

It was hard to keep up his determination to stay somewhat detached from people at times like this though, when he could hear the clear concern in Kazami’s voice.

“I got a little bit roughed up,” He told Kazami. It was a major understatement, roughed up equated to getting hit a couple of times, not outright tortured. He saw no reason to cause his subordinate any undue worry though, there was no need for him to know the details when it was something he’d recover from just fine. He wouldn’t be able to do the same when it came to his report to his superiors however, he’d need to give them at least the broad details, so they could make plans accordingly. “I’ll be fine once I have some time to rest.”

The two of them talked a bit longer, since Rei wouldn’t be able to come and help with things for a while, so they had come up with some back up plans in case Kazami needed help on a case. By the time Rei hung up, the painkillers he’d taken had kicked in, providing him with a tiny amount of relief.

Putting his phone back in his pocket, Rei headed towards his bathroom and carefully took off his shirt while doing his best to not jar his injuries, so that he could properly examine them. Since he didn’t have x-ray vision, there was now way for him to see how bad the damage to his ribs was, but the mottled canvas of bruises covering his chest spoke volumes to the beating he’d received. Right in the center of his chests, almost as if it was the pièce de resistance in a colorful work of art, was a large bruise in the shape of a footprint; Rei was pretty sure it was the main culprit when it came to the damage his ribs had received, Rum had stomped down on him with a large amount of force.

Sprinkled amidst the bruises were various burns of different degrees, the result of Rum going to town with a cattle prod. It was clearly not the first time he’d used it on a human, given the ease with which he’d determined how long to leave it in one area, but Rei didn’t want to dwell too long on the thought of how many people Rum had tortured before him.

There wasn’t much that he could do for the bruises and his ribs except ice them, which would unfortunately be a bit of a nuisance given his burns; putting ice on a burn was one of the last things you wanted to do after all. At least for the burns he had some ointment he could put on and it wouldn’t matter if it got on the bruises as well.

Unfortunately they were probably going to scar no matter what he did, another mark added to the ever growing collection on his body. They were like a record of the things he’d been through, each one carrying a story that he probably could never tell anyone, and that would never go away. It was probably a good thing though that Rei wasn’t the kind of person who tended to want to walk around shirtless, because it would be really hard to come up with an excuse for all the scars if anyone were to see them.

Before he did anything to care for his wounds though, Rei wanted a shower. The past 24 hours had left him covered with a layer of grime and dust and he felt disgusting; quite frankly he was a little surprised that Vermouth had even let him in her car.

Stripping off the rest of his clothes, Rei dropped them on the floor of the bathroom for the time being. Normally he wouldn’t even consider leaving a mess lying around like that, but he didn’t feel up to even walking the few feet to his hamper. Stepping into the shower, Rei turned on the water, shiving slightly as cold water hit his bare skin.

Rei wasn’t really a fan of cold showers, he’d met some people who swore by them, but in his opinion the temperature of the water should be hot enough to feel like it would melt your skin. Right now though, the cold would help soothe his injuries, so he’d just have to bear with it.

As he got his hair wet in preparation to wash it, a trickle of water ran down his face and touched his lips, the feeling of it sending a sudden wave of panic through him. Unbidden the memory of his head being held underwater invaded his mind, his breath coming out in harsh pants as the phantom sensation of water running down his throat reared its head. Quickly he stepped backwards out of the stream of water, using the back of his hand to wipe the water off his face in an attempt to calm his racing heart.

Compared to how long Rum had spent beating and burning him, Rei had only had his head held underwater for a short time, he shouldn’t be letting him affect him like this. It wasn’t like it was the first time he’d been tortured either, aside from the rather brutal training he and Hiro had been forced to go through before being sent undercover, there had been a few other times, the most prominent an incident that occurred around the time he’d been in Organization for close to a year.

Before that incident, he’d known in theory that while in the Organization, there were more reasons he needed to watch his back than just the risk of being discovered as a spy; because of it though he’d ended up learning first hand just how little comradery many members felt, especially if they thought you were in their way.

It wasn’t like he hadn’t expected to draw some enmity; he’d done his best to show off his capabilities from the moment he’d entered the Organization, in order to draw the attention necessary to get him closer to the top. In the beginning that had meant he stepped on the toes of others doing the same thing, an action which had made him a threat. He’d underestimated the anger that could cause, as well as the lengths some were willing to go to achieve their goals, and as a result he’d fallen into a scheme.

It was a memory he preferred not to think about much, partially because of the shame of having fallen into a trap, but mostly due to the nightmares that accompanied remembering it. While the punishment Rum had given him could hardly be considered kind, he’d at least had a vested interest in making sure Rei hadn’t been too injured to work; the same couldn’t be said of those he had encountered back then.

If Hiro hadn’t shown up…

After making it through something like that, there was no reason something as insignificant in comparison should cause him problems. He wasn’t the same inexperienced agent that he’d been back then, unaware of the darkest parts of humanity, there was no way he could be so weak.

Stepping back under the water, Rei shook his head as if to clear out his thoughts. The only reason he was struggling was because he was tired, that’s what he told himself, he’d be fine once he got some rest. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Rei stepped back under the water, standing at an odd angle to keep his head dry. He’d avoid washing his hair for today.

Just to be safe though, he finished his shower quickly.

Wrapping a towel around his waist, Rei stood in front of the bathroom mirror and rummaged through the drawer in search of ointment. He was fairly certain he had some left over from the last time he’d gotten burned, it had been due to an accident in the kitchen on that occasion, so it hadn’t been a hassle to get a prescription. Of course, the medicine was months old by now, so it very well could have lost a lot of its potency, but it at least wouldn’t hurt. Probably.

Rei’s finger’s made contact with a tube of something at the back of the drawer and he grabbed hold of it, hoping it was what he was looking for and not just one of those tiny tubes of toothpaste you got at the dentist but never used. That wouldn’t do his burn much good. Thankfully it was in fact the ointment he’d been looking for and Rei quickly unscrewed the cap, squeezing a little out onto his finger.

There wasn’t enough left in the tube to treat all of his burns, so Rei focused on the worst ones, wincing slightly each time he touched one of them. None of them had blistered so far, so he wasn’t planning to bandage them currently; he’d reevaluate the situation in the morning though. With his wounds taken care of as much as he could for the time being, Rei took a moment to stare at himself in the mirror.

Most of the concealer he’d put on in Vermouth’s car had washed off, allowing the bruises on his face to show in their full glory. It wasn’t a pretty sight to see, but Rei was hesitant to put on any more concealer when he’d be going to bed soon enough; he’d just end up with most of it smeared on his pillow. There was always a chance that one of his neighbors might knock on his door though, even if it was only a rather small chance; it was a downside to being a good neighbor, people tended to seek you out when they needed help.

Deciding it was better to be safe than sorry, Rei reached back into the drawer he’d gotten the ointment from in search of his concealer; he’d left the one he’d used earlier in Vermouth’s car, there was no telling when it being there might turn out useful to have it there.

Covering up his bruises went a lot quicker when he wasn’t in a moving car and soon enough his reflection in the mirror showed no sign he’d been beaten up, save for a split lip. There wasn’t much he could do about that though, but it was fine; by the time he went back to work it should be mostly healed, and unlike a faceful of bruises, it would be easier to come up with an excuse for.

Finishing up in the bathroom, Rei headed towards his bedroom to get dressed, Haro close on his heels from the moment he opened the bathroom door. It was a good thing he didn’t have work tomorrow, he had a feeling the dog would kick up a fuss if Rei was out of his sight for too long; Haro had already managed to figure out how to open the freezer on his own, Rei didn’t want to give him any motivation to turn his attention to the front door.

Hopefully the remaining time he had off would be enough to be enough to reassure Haro he was fine, he didn’t really want to have to figure out how to convince Azusa that he needed to bring his dog to work.

Once dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt, Rei headed for the kitchen and grabbed an ice pack from the freezer, pressing it against his ribs while doing his best to avoid the burns. He didn’t plan to leave it there for very long since he’d be going to bed soon, but every little bit of time would help bring the swelling down.

Shooting a glance at the fridge, Rei frowned. He hadn’t eaten anything in over a day but to be honest the idea of having anything right now made him feel sick to his stomach. He knew he needed nutrients if he was going to heal, but eating wouldn’t do him any good if he couldn’t keep it down, and that’s what Rei was pretty sure would happen. After a few seconds of mentally debating with himself whether it was worth the risk, Rei decided to just go to bed for now, he could get up and eat something in a couple of hours if he felt better then.

As he left the kitchen, Rei thought for a moment he saw Haro give him a judging look, but he decided it must have just been a trick of the light. Haro might be an intelligent dog but there was no way he could know how long it had been since Rei had last eaten; and even if somehow he could know, given Haro had hardly touched his own food, he had no room to judge Rei.

Realizing he was getting prickly over the idea of his dog hypothetically judging him, Rei shook his head and let out a small huff of laughter as he entered his bedroom. He really needed sleep.

Adjusting his pillow so that he could sleep sitting up comfortably, or at least as close to comfortably as he could get, before carefully climbing under the covers. As soon as he was settled Haro jumped up beside him, turning around in a circle a few times before nestling against Rei’s hip and giving his hand a small lick. Smiling slightly, Rei let out a sigh and ran a hand down the soft fur of the dog’s back.

Lying there with Haro curled up beside him, he could pretend just for a moment that things were a little more normal. Not totally normal, that was something Rei had never experienced a life like that before, but back to how it had just two days ago. Back to when he hadn’t been sure of Conan’s identity, back to when he’d known exactly what to expect from his relationship with Vermouth, back when he’d been slightly less afraid of Rum.

The fact was that he’d gotten lucky this time, which he realized was a strange thing to think after having been tortured, but the fact was that things could have been much worse. All things considered, he’d gotten off pretty easy; Rum could have just outright killed him, or been more brutal, or taken the assignment away from him and given it to someone who would have no inclination to protect Kudo. Instead he’d been given more time to investigate, and all that for the low, low price of several weeks that would be spent in pain.

Rei wasn’t foolish enough to think that he’d get another second chance though, if he didn’t provide information about Kudo that satisfied Rum, then it would be the end for him. Sharing the truth obviously wasn’t an option, but he had to come up with something, and it needed to be substantial. Creating a false trail might work, if he could make it seem like there had been sightings of Kudo far from where he actually was, it would not only occupy Rum but provide an added layer of protection for Conan.

He could probably get Vermouth to help him, even if he wasn’t sure what had changed in his and Vermouth’s relationship yet, he knew that her desire to protect Conan hadn’t. He still didn’t know the reason for Vermouth’s attachment to the detective, though he certainly planned to dig into it, but all that mattered right now that it could be counted on. If they could get Kudo himself in on the plan as well it would probably be easier, but for the time being Rei wasn’t ready to show his hand and let the boy know he’d figured him out.

Still, while the possibility of doing something to appease Rum existed, Rei couldn’t seem to shake the feeling that he didn’t have much time left. The possibility of dying was one that came with being part of the police force, that was a reality that had been hammered home for him again and again as each of his friends died off, but this time it didn’t feel like just a possibility. Death seemed to be waiting just around the corner for him, like a monster lurking in the dark until the right time to strike, and he couldn’t just turn on the lights and scare it off.

The concept of dying didn’t scare Rei, maybe once it might have, but with all his loved ones gone there wasn’t much that made him feel particularly attached to living. His anger and his mission were the only real things that kept him going, and some days it just didn't feel like enough. That didn’t mean he sought death, but if it all came to an end he didn’t think he’d mind all that much. It would be nice to meet his friends again.

His biggest regret would be that if he died, it would be tough for the NPA to get another agent embedded as deeply in the organization as Rei currently was. The Organization would never admit it outloud, but they had been frightened by the high number of spies that had been discovered during the past few years and had increased security measures when it came to recruits.

He could only hope that before Rum ran out of patience, things would progress enough that the Black Organization could be taken down, but that was just wishful thinking. It was unlikely to actually happen.

Beside Rei, Haro let out a sneeze and rolled over onto his back, exposing his belly to the air. He looked so goofy Rei couldn’t help but smile. “You’re so carefree,” He muttered, lightly booping the dog on the nose and causing him to sneeze again. “All you have to worry about is eating, sleeping and playing.”

It was an envious life, one that Rei would never achieve for himself, nor one that he’d ever want. Living hedonistically wouldn’t suit him, he’d get far too bored. Still, just for tonight maybe he should follow Haro’s example and not worry. There would be plenty of time to think about what the future might bring tomorrow, for now he’d just rest.

Chapter Text

“Amuro-san, can you get me down some more plates?”

“Sure, just give me a second,” Rei told Azusa, as he finished slicing up a tomato for a sandwich. He was moving slower than he usually would thanks to his injuries, and it was frustrating him. There wasn’t really anything he could do about that though, it had only been four days since his punishment and while he’d spent as much time resting as he could, it hadn’t been long enough for anything but his split lip to fully heal. His ribs were still a painful mess, and it would probably be at least close to two months before they were back to normal.

His bruises had improved some at least, though they were still tender to the touch, but they were a sickly green color that necessitated continuing to be covered with makeup. With all the practice Rei had been getting lately, if he ever wanted to retire as an NPA agent he could probably have a bright future in front of him as a makeup artist, not that it was really a career path that interested him.

If for some reason the day came that he no longer could continue on as an NPA, and it wasn’t because he was dead, he thought he’d much rather continue on as a cafe worker. While his job at Cafe Poirot had started as a means to keep an eye on Mouri, he’d come to genuinely love working there. Even if it was only for a few hours a day, it provided a bit of normality in his life that had been absent since Hiro had died.

One day it would all come to an end, whether it be by his death or because the Black Organization had been defeated, Amuro Tooru would cease to exist. If he was alive at that point, it was unknown whether he’d be able to meet those who had known him as Amuro ever again. The aftermath of undercover operations could be messy; if someone had only been undercover for a short while or had interacted with very few people during that time, then it was usually simple enough to integrate them back into everyday life, but for someone in Rei’s situation it was more difficult.

There were too many people who knew Amuro, he couldn’t just disappear and come back as Furuya without having to worry about running into someone who recognized him. Sooner or later he’d encounter somebody he knew and then there would be questions that he couldn’t answer easily, even once the Black Organization was defeated, his status as an NPA agent wasn’t something to be casually shared.

It was hardly like he could keep being Amuro and working at the cafe though, while he personally would be fine with it, the higher ups would never go for it. Most likely he’d be transferred to a different area, one where there wasn’t as high a chance of him being recognized. He just hoped that no one got any bright ideas about trying to shove him behind a desk.

He’d have to break his promise to Azusa about not going anywhere, which left a bitter taste in his mouth, but that wasn’t something that could be changed. It was possible that he might be able to get permission to tell her the truth so that she didn’t wonder why he’d disappeared, or he could just tell her without permission, but he didn’t know if that was a good idea. It might just hurt her more to know he’d been lying for the whole time they’d worked together, than it would for him to just disappear.

For now he supposed there wasn’t much point in worry about all that though, he didn’t even know for sure what would happen in the future, for the time being it wasn’t worth getting worked up about something that might not even happen.

Sliding the tomato slices onto the sandwich, Rei handed the plate to Azusa to deliver to the customer, before turning to the cabinets they kept plates in. Standing on his tip toes so he didn’t have to stretch his arm quite so much to reach, he grabbed a stack of plates and turned to give them to Azusa, who was staring at him with a concerned look on her face.

“Are you okay Amuro-san?” She asked, catching him off guard. At least some of his surprise must have shown on his face, because she continued without waiting for a reply. “You seem a little off today, and it looked like you were favoring your arm.”

Rei resisted the urge to frown, since it would only end up making Azusa even more concerned. He’d known there was a possibility that someone might notice he wasn’t feeling in top shape despite his attempts to hide it, but he’d expected it from someone like Conan, not Azusa. He must really be off his game.

“I’m fine.” He assured his coworker, smiling gently. “My dog just decided to try and rip my arm out of the socket cause he saw a squirrel while I was walking him, so my shoulder is a bit sore.”

Azusa looked at him in surprise. “I didn’t know you had a dog Amuro-san,” She said, seemling having been distracted by this newfound knowledge, just like Rei had hoped would happen. “When did you get one?”

“I’ve only had him for a couple of months,” Rei explained, setting about preparing an iced coffee for a customer. Things at the cafe were relatively slow currently, but that didn’t mean the two of them could slack off and make the customers that were there wait too long. “He was a stray that just kept following me around, so I figured it probably was meant to be and took him in.”

“That’s so sweet!” There was a goofy grin on Azusa’s face as she listened to Rei’s explanation. “What did you name him? Do you have any pictures?”

“His name is Haro,” Rei informed her, shaking his head in amusement at her excitement. Azusa really did love animals, he was sure if she had been the one to find Haro first, then he would have ended up as her dog. The thought of it actually made him a little uncomfortable, even if he hadn’t had the puppy for that long, he was attached enough that he didn’t like the idea of him having a different owner. Though if the day came it was necessary for Haro to go live with someone else, he hoped Kazami or Azusa would take him in. “As for pictures…”

Rei grabbed a towel and wiped his hands off on it, before reaching into his back pocket to fish out his phone, scrolling through his image gallery for photos of Haro. If someone had told him even just a year ago that he would become the kind of person who took pictures of their pet when they were being cute and hoarded them on his phone, then he would have laughed in their face; and yet, here he was doing just that.

“Here,” He found a particularly adorable picture of Haro curled up in a ball asleep and handed the phone to Azusa. Thankfully he made sure to regularly delete any suspicious photos off his phone, he didn’t know if Azusa was one of those people who would start scrolling through your image gallery without permission after showing them just one picture.

“Aw, he’s so cute! What is he, a Shiba?”

“He’s a Hokkaido, they’re similar to Shiba’s but there are some differences.” Rei had done a lot of reading on the breed after finding out from the vet what breed Haro was. They weren’t an easy breed for first time dog owners to handle, so it had been a bit intimidating at first, but Rei had never been one to back down from a challenge. He thought he’d done a pretty good job so far at training him, aside from a few occasional incidents like the one involving the freezer, Haro was pretty well behaved.

“Amuro-san!” Azusa looked up from Rei’s phone, her eyes seeming to shine with excitement as she looked at him. “You have to bring him by the cafe sometime, think of all the customers that little cutie will bring in!”

Rei just stared at her for a moment, before raising a knowing eyebrow. “To bring in customers huh? Are you sure it's not just because you want to pet him?” He teased, causing Azusa to smack him with a tea towel. He could have dodged out of the way of it of course, but that would have caused him much more pain than being hit by it ever could.

“Should have known that I couldn’t fool a detective like you,” Azusa teased him right back, “If I want to pet him though, don’t you think other people would as well. It’s unfair for you to keep such a cute dog all to yourself.”

“Oh, is that so?” Rei asked, playing along with the exaggerated lecturing tone she was using. “Well I’ll have to remember that and bring him in for you to play with sometime then.”

“Very good, it’s a promise then. Don’t you forget it.” For a moment Azusa stood there looking incredibly proud of herself, before she and Rei both broke out laughing. It was the peaceful moments like this that made it possible for Rei to keep going on even with all the darkness that surrounded him, the simple happiness that one could find in everyday life. He wanted to protect it, to not let any of the smiles surrounding him be snuffed out, even if it meant he had to sacrifice his own.

“Seriously though, I want to meet Haro sometime. Maybe he and Taii can have a playdate.”

Rei wasn’t sure how good an idea that was, as far as he knew Haro’s only experience with cats so far had involved him getting attacked. It would be good to get him some experience with other animals though, he needed to be trained to behave around them. As long as they introduced the two pets in a controlled environment where they could easily be separated if something went wrong, then maybe it would be okay.

“We can work something out.” He told Azusa, though he didn’t plan to figure it out anytime soon. He needed to be healed enough that he could easily catch Haro if he decided to cause trouble, before he was willing to let him meet Taii.

“Great! Don’t you forget it then!”

“I won’t,” Rei assured her, before grabbing a cloth and going to wipe down a table that a customer had just vacated. The two of them had stood around just talking for long enough, and the cafe wasn’t going to run itself, it was time to get back to work. He’d just finished cleaning the table and was getting ready to return behind the counter, when the sound of the front door opening rang through the cafe.

Turning to greet the new customer with a smile on his face, Rei’s expression froze as he caught sight of who had just entered.

Okiya Subaru. Or rather he should call him Akai Shuichi, because no matter what disguise he wore, it could never change the fact that he was the man Rei despised.

“Welcome!” Rei greeted, forcing cheer into his voice. No matter how happy his voice sounded though, the gaze he had fixed on the FBI Agent very clearly said for him to drop dead. The truce between them meant that Rei had been forced to give up on his desire to kill Akai, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t wish for him to spontaneously drop dead.

Then again, he’d actually rather he didn’t do that in Cafe Poirot; the investigation into his death would almost certainly reveal the fact that he was wearing a disguise, and his identity as Akai Shuichi would be discovered. There was no way the Black Organization wouldn’t catch wind of it, and then Rei would have to deal with questions related to the Organization’s most hated enemy dropping dead at his place of work, and he really didn’t need that right now.

Not to mention it would get Kir killed, and while he wasn’t happy with the presence of the CIA agent in Japan, that didn’t mean he wanted her dead. No, it would be much better if Akai instead dropped dead in the middle of the ocean or somewhere else where his body wasn’t likely to be found.

Akai seemed totally unphased by his glare, no, actually that wasn’t quite true; Rei got the feeling he was actually somewhat amused by it. It was things like that were part of what made it hard for Rei to let go of his hatred towards Akai, despite knowing that he hadn’t murdered Hiro. Akai could talk all he wanted about how he didn’t want Rei as his enemy or how he wanted them to work together, but none of that held up when he constantly acted patronizing.

He’d talk about how he hadn’t realized how deeply Hiro’s death had hurt Rei, and that he was sorry about what had happened, but he never took Rei’s anger seriously. Instead Akai would act like it was something that amused him, or treat Rei like a child who was throwing a tantrum. His behavior just made Rei even more angry; he’d looked into Akai once he'd learned his real identity, he knew his father had gone missing because of the Organization, but he also knew that Akai still had a mother and two siblings left.

Who was Akai to dismiss his anger, he still had family he could go back to once everything was over, while Rei had no one left. The family he’d found were all dead, and even if Akai hadn’t directly killed him, he still held culpability in the death of the man who’d been Rei’s brother in all but blood. How dare he treat his rage like some frivolous thing that he should simply just let go of?

“What can we get you?” Azusa asked Subaru, totally ignorant of the emotions running through Rei’s brain. It needed to stay that way too, she had already been far too observant in regards to things being off about Rei today, and he wouldn’t be able to explain away his hatred for Akai like he had his injuries. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Rei let the hatred fade from his eyes and turned to walk back behind the counter.

“I’ll just have an iced coffee,” Akai told Azusa, taking a seat at the counter. “I’m supposed to be meeting up with Conan-kun and his friends.”

“Oh, are you friends with them?” Azusa asked, as she set about making Akai’s order. “Those kids really do know a lot of people.”

“I live next door to Professor Agasa,” Akai explained, “The owners of the house are relatives of Conan-kun, so I’ve gotten to know him and his friends pretty well. They’re a bit of a handful, but they’re good kids.” There was a gentle smile on his face as he spoke about the kids, and Rei didn’t think it was fake, he seemed genuinely fond of them.

Well good for him, maybe they’d keep Akai busy enough that he’d stay out of Rei’s way. That was probably wishful thinking though, Akai would find a way to be an annoyance no matter how busy he was. People liked to talk about his skills as a sniper or how good of an agent he was, but in reality Akai’s real talent was being a nuisance.

Even his mere presence in the cafe was a nuisance, and Rei was itching to pick a fight with him. It ticked him off that Akai had even shown his face here; although they’d never actually talked about it, he’d thought there was an unspoken agreement between them that Akai would stay away from the place. Maybe that had all been in his head though, or maybe it had been real but Akai just had decided he didn’t care to follow that agreement anymore; he certainly had never had any problem showing up where he didn’t belong before.

Unfortunately since he was at work, Rei couldn’t leap the counter to punch Akai in the face. Aside from not being able to explain to others just why he’d done such a thing, it would make a mess of the place. He’d just have to do his best to ignore him for now and hope he’d get the chance to punch Akai in his stupid face some other time.

Tuning out Akai and Azusa’s conversation, Rei focused his attention on making a plate of pasta for a customer. It was a new recipe they were trying out and they weren’t sure if they were going to keep it on the menu yet; thus far everyone who’d tried it had liked it, but it did take some time and skill to make it taste right. They did already have some recipes that took a while to make on the menu, but none that were quite as time consuming; it was possible it might just end up being too much of a hassle to keep.

Since it required most of Rei’s attention though, it worked well as an excuse to not interact with Akai without making Azusa feel he was being rude. Unfortunately, it seemed like Akai wasn’t content to just let Rei be.

“I didn’t expect you to be such a good cook Amuro-kun,” Akai said, addressing Rei by his fake name and destroying any chance of Rei being able to pretend like he didn’t know him. The bastard. He’d definitely done it on purpose.

Azusa glanced between the two of them. “Oh, do you guys know each other?”

“We’re acquainted.” Rei told her, fake smile firmly in place as he quickly spoke. He wanted to make sure he was the one who wrote the narrative for what his and Akai’s relationship was. Who knew what nonsense Akai might come up with if it was left to him. “We met briefly on a case.”

Akai raised an eyebrow, his expression confused and Rei felt a feeling of dread run through him. “Azusa-san was there too, wasn’t she?”

Forget the truce, Rei was going to strangle Akai to death with his own two hands. There was no way he didn’t know that the Azusa that had appeared that day was actually Vermouth in disguise, did the guy have nothing better to do with his time then cause problems for Rei?

“Huh?” Azusa looked confused, and glanced at Rei in search of an explanation. “I’ve never gone with Amuro-san to a case before though, well, unless you count the occasional Kaitou KID heist…”

“Ah right, it was that case…” Rei turned to Azusa, pretending that he’d just now remembered the specifics of it. “Do you remember that time I went to see the musician Hado Rokumichi and someone pretended to be you and tagged along? Subaru-san was there at the time.”

Making excuses and smoothing things over after Akai had said something unnecessary made Rei feel like he was back in the days when the two of them used to work together alongside Hiro. While Akai and Hiro had served as backup and long ranged support, Rei’s job had been to be the face of their team. Whenever the three of them had a mission that required talking to people; whether it be because they needed to wheedle information out of someone, or they were trying to calm down a situation which had gone awry, it was Rei who took the lead.

It wasn’t a job that Rei had sought out, he wasn’t like Higa who had reveled in interpersonal relationships, but doing it didn’t bother him and he was a better choice than the other two. Hiro had been friendly and likable, but he could also be a bit impulsive, which wasn’t the best in situations when you need to carefully calculate your words. And as for Akai, while he wasn’t a fool who would speak recklessly, he had just been too cold and blunt to be trusted with doing the talking most of the time.

It was funny, after Akai had been revealed to be an FBI agent and gone on the run, there had been many times that Rei had wondered whether his coldness had been an act to help sell his cover, or if he was genuinely like that. It had been easy to dismiss Akai as just a heartless monster when Rei could still convince himself he’d murdered Hiro, but the knowledge that he hadn’t made it harder to do so. One thing was for sure though, even if Akai wasn’t as cold and cruel as he had often seemed, he was still a jerk.

Rei didn’t want to think about the past though, didn’t want to remember the time when he and Akai could almost be considered friends, those were memories that were best forgotten.

“Wait, so then that wasn’t Azusa-san who was there then?” Akai asked, looking suitably surprised, as if he’d had no idea before now that it had been a fake. Rei wondered if he was aiming for an Oscar, maybe living in the house of a renowned actress had messed with his head or something. Either that or he was a lot stupider than Rei had been giving him credit for all this time.

Azusa shook her head, “No, I don’t know who it was. I was quite surprised when I heard about it.”

“How interesting,” Akai commented, an enigmatic smile on his face. “I wonder why someone would do something like that?”

“Well,” Azusa informed him, “I do have a theory!”

Akai looked at her in surprise, as did Rei. This was the first he’d heard of any theory. He highly doubted she’d come up with anything close to the truth, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t interested in hearing her theory.

“Obviously it was one of Amuro-san’s fangirls!”

Rei took it back, he didn’t want to hear the theory.

“..Fangirls?” Akai repeated, his expression twisted in a look of what seemed to be genuine confusion this time. Rei had to fight the urge to bury his face in his hands, he really did not want this conversation to happen. He already caught enough flack from Conan about how much attention he drew despite being an undercover agent, he didn’t need Akai joining in.

“Yeah, Amuro-san is very popular you know,” Azusa carried on, unaware of the hole she was digging for Rei. “We have lots of customers who come in just because of him, it wouldn’t surprise me at all if one of them did that to try and get close to him.”

Rei wondered how Vermouth would feel if she knew her identity had been reduced to that of a fangirl. She might find it funny, but was just as likely that she’d get ticked off; it probably would be better if he just never mentioned it to her.

“I don’t think any of our clients have the kind of skills that would be required for that kind of thing.” Rei pointed out, hoping to nix the whole conversation before it could get any worse. He’d thought the worst danger he’d face when he went undercover would be the possibility of his identity being discovered, he hadn’t accounted for embarrassing conversations between a coworker and his hated rival.

“You don’t…”

“Azusa-san, can I get a refill on my coffee?” A customer calling for Azusa interrupted her, and she turned to smile at him.

“Sure, just a second!” Turning back to Rei, she pointed a finger at him. “You don’t have any proof I’m wrong.” She told him as a parting shot, before picking up the coffee pot and heading over to the customer, leaving Rei alone with Akai.

“...So, fangirls huh?” Akai said after a moment of silence, and Rei could see his lip twitching in an attempt not to laugh.

“Don’t think I can’t come up with an excuse for Azusa-san as to why I decided to pour hot coffee on you,” Rei threatened, not bothering to hold back his glare anymore now that Azusa couldn’t see it. “Why are you even here?”

Akai frowned, his expression one of those Rei had come to expect in response to any show of anger. Akai seemed to have a few of them on rotation, but disappointed exasperation seemed to be the most common. “I’m pretty sure I mentioned that I’m meeting up with Conan-kun and his friends. Professor Agasa asked me to take them to the aquarium in his place, since he’s come down with a cold.”

“He must not know you very well if he’s trusting you to look out for them, you don’t have a very good track record with keeping people safe.” Rei somewhat regretted the words as soon as they were out of his mouth, but there was no way to take them back. He might hate Akai, but the man hadn’t actually done anything today that was deserving of Rei being so vicious.

Akai flinched back slightly at the words, his frown deepening in response. “Amuro-kun,” He began, keeping his voice low so that no one else could overhear. “I’ve told you, I deeply regret what happened with Scotch, but you know I didn’t…”

“Yeah, you didn’t kill him, I know.” Rei ground out, his voice matching Akai’s in volume as he leaned forward slightly to glare more hostilely at the man. “But that doesn’t mean you’re free of blame.” Those were words Rei had wanted to say for quite a while now, and though it really wasn’t the best time or place to be having a conversation like this, it felt good to have finally said it.

Rei straightened back up, wincing slightly as the movement pulled on his ribs, he really wasn’t looking forward to having to deal with several more weeks of this. As he did so something in Akai’s expression shifted, and a sinking feeling settled in his chest. He’d forgotten in the midst of his annoyance at Akai, that he wasn’t as easy to fool as Azusa.

Akai opened his mouth as if to say something, but he was interrupted by the return of Azusa. Whatever Akai had been planning to say, whether it be related to Hiro’s death or Rei’s injury, there’s no way he could bring it up with Azusa around. That alone was enough to make Rei instantly forgive her for the conversation earlier, right now she was his savior.

“Sorry about that, once they saw I had the pot out, everyone wanted a refill,” Azusa apologized.

“It’s fine,” Rei said, shrugging in response, and making sure not to give any sign of the pain it caused him. Maybe if Akai didn’t see him show any more signs of him being hurt, the man would think he had just been seeing things. “It’s not like we’re that busy today after all.”

Azusa glanced between him and Akai, seeming to sense the tension in the air. “Is something the matter?” Sometimes Rei really wondered if Azusa was managing to absorb observation skills from all the detectives that visited the cafe, she certainly seemed to be noticing more and more things lately.

“Ah, not really. Subaru-san was just expressing concern over how late Conan-kun and his friends are. Most of the time that means they’ve stumbled across a murder or something.” Rei explained, lying through his teeth.

Akai gave him a look that said he knew exactly what Rei was up to, but didn’t call him out on his lie.

“Those kids do have really bad luck with running across crimes,” Akai agreed, “If I didn’t know better I’d say they were cursed or something.”

Azusa shook her head, “Don’t you think you guys are exaggerating a bit, surely they don’t run into murders that often ... .Why are you both looking at me like that?”

Chapter Text

Rei couldn’t help but feel a sense of deja vu as he stumbled through the front door of his apartment, although his health was somewhat improved from a few days ago, right now he felt just about as awful as he had when he’d come home after his punishment. It hadn’t even been a particularly busy day at the café, they’d had only about a quarter of the customers they usually got, most likely because it had started raining about halfway through the day.

Despite that, Rei still felt like he’d been run over by a truck. Even though he’d done his best to try and favor his ribs and shoulder, it hadn’t always been possible. His whole body ached, even the parts of it that hadn’t originally been injured, he really wasn’t looking forward to keeping it up the charade for several more weeks.

If he wasn’t having to hide the fact he hurt, then things wouldn’t be so bad. He could take time off from working at the café and avoid straining his body, all without having to worry about his absence causing suspicion. Of course, even then he probably wouldn’t be able to just rest, since there were other things besides the café that required his attention. Although for the time being he was avoiding meeting with Kazami in person, that didn’t mean he was free of all responsibility; there was still plenty of work that could be done remotely.

Sooner or later the Organization would have work for him as well; he hadn’t heard from them at all during the past several days. He wasn’t sure whether that was because they hadn’t needed him for anything or if Vermouth was perhaps running interference, but he was certain it wouldn’t last.

As it was though, Rei didn’t have the luxury to be honest about his injuries, which meant he had to deal with all that, on top of keeping the fact that he was hurt secret.

He had considered the idea of making up a fake case as an excuse to get away for a bit, he could go hole up in a safe house or hotel for a week or so and not have to worry about anyone realizing he was injured, but he had quickly dismissed that idea. The benefits that it would bring didn’t outweigh the downsides to such an idea though, while it would give him a chance to rest and recover, the logistics of setting it up would be a nightmare.

He’d have to come up with the details of his fake case just in case anybody asked about the details once he was back, and ideally they needed to be hard to confirm in case anyone got suspicious and looked into it. Not that it was likely to happen, but Rei had found himself feeling rather paranoid recently, so he’d rather be safe than sorry.

There was also the matter of figuring out what he would do with the puppy currently circling around his legs, frantically sniffing at him as if he was trying to check that his master hadn’t come home injured again. Usually he would ask Kazami to watch Haro if he was going to be gone for a while, but that wasn’t an option currently. Rei still didn’t know if Rum had suspicions about his loyalty, which meant he couldn’t guarantee he wasn’t being watched.

He’d swept his apartment for bugs, but since today was the first time he’d gone out since he’d been injured, he hadn’t been able to check if anyone was following him. Kazami hadn’t noticed anything unusual on his end either, but Rei didn’t want to jump to conclusions about everything being fine. It was better to wait a while longer and make sure it was really safe. That meant he’d have to avoid meeting with anyone who could cast suspicion on him for a bit longer, even if it meant he wouldn’t have a dogsitter.

He could hardly take Haro with him if he were to take a week off though; it would be one thing if he really was going to work on a case, he could find a place to stay that allowed dogs and take Haro out to explore with him. That wouldn’t be an option if his purpose in going was to take time to rest, he would be staying inside and focusing on recovering in that situation, which wouldn’t be fair to Haro.

Those were the logical reasons for why he shouldn’t go away for a bit, but in truth the real reason he’d decided against it was much more emotional. It would make him feel guilty.

It felt selfish to take any more time off for himself, when he knew the clock was ticking down. He wasn’t foolish enough to try and spend every second working, he’d burn himself out trying to do that, but he also couldn’t afford to waste a large period of time on recovering. While the way he was going about things currently meant he was moving a lot slower than usual, he could at least still get stuff done, and that was what really mattered.

It might be unpleasant, but he’d just have to keep pushing through.

Having wasted enough time stuck in his thoughts, Rei crouched down for a second to give Haro a pat on the head in greeting, before stepping over the dog and heading towards the kitchen. As long as neither of them had anything else going on, he and Azusa would often have dinner at the cafe after closing up for the day. Neither of them had anyone waiting for them at home besides their pets and it was nice to have some company while eating.

It was a tradition Rei treasured, although he’d eaten with others on several occasions, it had been a long time since he’d been able to sit and have a carefree conversation over a meal. His meals with Vermouth were always business meetings and even what they spoke of turned lighter near the end, the oppressive aura of the previous topics hung around. With Kazami on the other hand, even if there was no talk of work matters, the man tended to be too aware of the fact Rei was his superior to fully relax.

With Azusa though, they were just normal coworkers. She had no connection to the Black Organization or the NPA, and so there was no oppressive atmosphere hanging about. It was just two friends spending time together and talking about everyday things. It was nice, the kind of domestic comradery that had long been absent from Rei’s life.

Today though one of Azusa’s friends from high school was in town, and she had made plans to meet up with them for dinner, so Rei was on his own. That was perfectly fine with him however, right now the less time he spent around other people, the better it was.

Maneuvering around Haro, who seemed so bound and determined to be under foot and trip his owner that Rei found his tired brain half wondering if the dog was trying to assassinate him, and headed towards his fridge. It was only a little bit past eight, which was earlier than Rei usually called it a night, but he was more than ready to just eat and go to bed.

He probably should spend a little time playing with Haro first though, Rei thought, glancing guilty at the dog. The past several days hadn’t been very stimulating for the dog, since Rei had spent most of his time resting in bed, and Haro was starting to look a little round. Rei had tried to walk him a couple times, but Haro had plopped his furry butt on the ground and stubbornly refused to move the minute he’d had the leash put on him.

After several attempts to make the dog budge, Rei had been forced to accept that Haro wasn’t going to allow himself to be walked and had given up. Since he couldn’t currently ask Kazami to come walk Haro for him and there was no one else he could ask without having to explain why he couldn’t do it himself, Rei had just been doing his best to play with Haro at home.

Rei knew it wasn’t enough though. While chasing a toy around was better than nothing, it didn’t last long enough for Haro to get enough exercise. Currently the dog would only tolerate Rei throwing a ball for him for a short while, before he ran off and hid it so Rei had to stop. The lack of exercise was enough of a concern to Rei that he was almost considering seeing if Vermouth would maybe be willing to walk him, but he wasn’t quite there yet. He’d give it a couple more days and see if Haro would cooperate by then, and if not then he could make a decision.

Opening the fridge and peering inside, Rei frowned as he caught sight of how empty it was. Usually he tried to keep some leftovers on hand for days where he just didn’t have the time to make anything, but while he’d had nothing but time for the past few days, he hadn’t really felt up to cooking and had been surviving off of the dishes he already had; unfortunately that meant that he was now all out of leftovers.

As stupid as doing so would be, Rei had to admit that the idea of just skipping dinner so he didn’t have to make anything was looking rather appealing. He wouldn’t actually do it, he was never going to heal if he didn’t eat, but he would consider the idea longingly for a brief moment. It had been a long day, and while he’d known that he wasn’t going to enjoy it even before he’d gotten to work, Akai deciding to show his stupid face at the cafe had just made things worse.

If the FBI agent had just shown up, kept his mouth shut except for ordering his coffee and then left quickly, then maybe it wouldn’t have been so bad. Rei still would have been annoyed that the man had dared come there in the first place, but it wouldn’t have ruined his whole day at least. But no, Akai couldn’t seem to ever do anything halfway and so naturally he’d had to make himself as big of a nuisance as possible.

While Rei had managed to come up with reasonable explanations for everything Akai had said to Azusa that could have caused trouble, there was nothing he could do to make Akai unhear Azusa’s comments about Rei’s fangirls. He couldn’t make it so that Akai hadn’t noticed that he was injured either or take back the harsh words he’d said either.

Rei didn’t know that he could fully say he regretted his words, or at least not all of them, but it hadn’t been the time or place for him to lose his temper. Pain, exhaustion and stress had a way of losing tongues however, especially when it had been building up for a while, and he hadn’t been able to prevent some of his spiteful feelings from leaking out. He needed to do better in the future, he couldn’t risk accidentally saying the wrong thing where the wrong person might hear it.

If that happened then it could put more than just Rei himself in danger, it would be far too easy for certain people to figure out who Subaru really was if they overheard one of his and Rei’s fights. In the past when he’d been obsessed with proving that Akai was still alive, he hadn’t put too much thought into the consequences that would come if he did prove Akai was alive.

Back then all he cared about was getting revenge for Hiro's death, his anger making it so he didn't really care about collateral damage. Rei had started to be a little less reckless once he'd learned that Akai was indeed alive and knew his identity, and with the truce now between them Rei had been able to take a step back and look at the big picture.

Subaru's identity as Akai being revealed would cause a chain reaction of people being targeted. Akai himself would be first, followed by Kir since she was supposed to have killed him. Rei would be in trouble too, if it happened because somebody overheard an overheard argument between him and Akai; actually even if that wasn’t how it happened then he might still be in trouble, since he’d been the one to close the investigation into his death.

Since the Kudos had been letting Akai stay in their house, they wouldn’t escape suspicion either. People like Conan and Akai’s brother and sister could be endangered too, and people connected to them would at the very least be investigated. The connections that spread outward from Akai were a twisted web of domino’s that could far too easily be toppled if the wrong one was knocked down, and if that happened it would make taking down the Black Organization much harder.

Resolutions about what would be done in the future did nothing to change the past however, and so Rei just had to hope he wouldn’t have to deal with the consequences of his actions.

So far he’d been fine. Conan and his friends had been almost twenty minutes late to meet up with Akai at the cafe, just like Rei had predicted, the five of them had managed to run across a murder on their way to the cafe.

That had meant Rei had been forced to spend twenty more minutes in Akai’s company while he waited for them, which brought the total amount of time Rei had spent with him to thirty minutes more than he would have liked. Still, it hadn’t been as bad as he’d expected.

Azusa’s presence had at least made things less awkward, he and Akai had ended up regaling her with tales of the different cases they’d ended up running into while in Conan’s company. There had been a lot more than Rei had originally thought, he didn’t know what it was about Conan that seemed to attract crimes to happen around him, but if anyone were ever able to recreate it artificially, then it would probably make a powerful weapon.

In the beginning Azusa had been watching him and Akai with an expression that made it clear she thought they were just messing with her, but was willing to humor them; it had gradually turned to a look of concern as she’d seemed to realize that there was no way they could be making up so many stories on the fly.

Rei was pretty sure she was now of the opinion that Conan probably needed therapy, which to be fair, she might not be wrong about. Even if Conan was actually seventeen rather than seven, that was still too young to see as many deaths as he had; in fact even if he was much older, he would still be too young. As bad as it was for children to see the darker side of humanity, there was no age where it suddenly became okay; you might become numb to it, but it didn’t change that fact that it was a horrible thing to see.

Rei knew of plenty of police officers who had ended up leaving the force because they just couldn’t deal with some of the things they’d encountered anymore. Conan didn’t have the luxury of being able to do something like that though, even if by some weird twist of fate he decided he didn’t want to be a detective anymore, with the way crime seemed to follow him around he wouldn’t be able to escape it. Thankfully though, Conan seemed to have a wide network of allies that he could rely on if he needed to, so he at least wouldn’t be alone if he was struggling.

Still as concerning as the amount of crimes Conan encountered was, it had been a rather amusing conversation for the most part. The main thing that had put a damper on it, besides Akai’s general presence, had been the concerned glances that the man kept shooting at Rei everytime Azusa looked away for even a second. It was very clear he wanted to say something, though about what Rei couldn’t be sure. He could think of plenty of possibilities, from a comment about his injury, to an inquiry about what Rei had meant earlier when he’d said Akai wasn’t free of blame, to any number of other annoying comments.

With Azusa there though, there was no way for Akai to say anything, no matter how much he wanted to. Rei might not have a very high opinion of the FBI agent, but he did know he wasn’t stupid enough to say anything that would blow Rei’s cover in front of a civilian. By the time Akai had been forced to leave the cafe, via being practically dragged away by Conan’s friends who were impatient to get to the aquarium, he still hadn’t gotten a chance to say whatever he wanted to.

That had been just fine with Rei though, he didn’t want to hear whatever Akai had to say, it would just end up ticking him off. He just hoped that Akai leaving the cafe would be the end of it. If he went into work tomorrow only to have the agent come in again, then Rei thought he might not be able to keep himself from dumping hot coffee over him. There was nothing he could in any way do to control what Akai might do however, no matter how frequently he wished it was otherwise, so he just might as well just focus on more important things for the time being.

Like what he was going to eat for dinner. Even if he didn’t really feel up to cooking currently, he still needed to do it, and so Rei began examining the ingredients he currently had in his fridge.

There wasn’t much to choose from; Rei did his best to mostly keep fresh ingredients on hand since they were healthier, but those only stayed good for so long. Since he hadn’t been cooking the last several days, nor had he been to the store lately, most of what he had left was starting to go bad. He did have some chicken and soba noodles, and there were a few vegetables that seemed to still be in an edible condition. The celery plant he kept on the balcony should be grown enough that he could harvest some as well, so he could probably make some yakisoba.

It would be somewhat lackluster in comparison to what he usually cooked, but it would fulfill the purpose of giving him something to eat, and it should make enough that he’d have leftovers. He’d need to go to the store within the next few days though, and it might be smart of him to pick up some premade meals at the convenience store, for days when he just didn’t feel up to cooking. As bad as today had been, the fact was that he hadn’t had to do anything too strenuous, but there was no guarantee what other days would be like.

Still, Rei couldn’t help but grimace at the thought of surviving off of convenience store food. It wasn’t like convenience store food was nasty or anything, except for some weird novelty flavors Hiro had forced him to once try, Rei couldn’t think of a single unpleasant thing he’d ever gotten. And while it might not be as healthy as a home cooked meal, most of the premade meals he could get there would still be nutritious.

The concept of surviving off of cheap store bought meals brought back memories of harder times though, they weren’t the hardest he’d been through, but they were still times he’d prefer to forget.

Rei didn’t know if his parents had died, or if he had simply been unwanted, but from the moment he’d been old enough to remember the orphanage had been his home. It hadn’t been a pleasant place; he had no idea why the owners had even started it since they didn’t seem to particularly like children, but the fact that he wasn’t fully Japanese had made them like him even less. They’d passed on their dislike to the other children, who in turn had passed it onto the kids at school. Not all of them had treated him like he was lesser for his heritage, but with the majority doing so, the rest were too scared to reach out to him, lest they be targeted as well.

There had at least been Akemi and Elena, at least for the short while they’d been in his life, but neither of them were with him at school and at night he always had to return back to the orphanage. It wasn’t until Hiro had moved into town that he’d finally started feeling less alone; as long as Hiro was by his side, he’d known that he had a place where he belonged. If the Miyano’s had been his first taste at what it might be like to have a family, Hiro had provided him with the full course.

It had made it hard to go back home to the orphanage each night, he’d wished he could live with Hiro and his relatives, that he was a Morofushi as well. Hiro had said it didn’t matter though, that even if they had different names and didn’t share any blood, the two of them were still brothers. He had been right of course, Hiro frequently was, but Rei still hadn’t wanted to stay at the orphanage any longer.

It had taken a few years before he was old enough, but Rei had gotten a part time job as soon as he possibly could and started saving up for his own apartment. It had been small and dirty, but after he and Hiro had spent a day deep cleaning and repairing things, it had seemed perfect.

While he was no longer living in a place where he was isolated and made to feel like he didn’t belong, in some ways life was much more of a struggle then it had been when he was still living in the orphanage. The orphanage had at least provided all his clothing and school supplies, and most of the time they had provided him food as well, living on his own meant he had to provide all of that for himself though.

As a student he could only work so many hours a week, and so he’d lived paycheck to paycheck until he’d graduated. The only food he’d been able to afford usually was the cheapest stuff at the local convenience store, and there had been some months when unexpected expenses had come up, that he had really wondered if he might starve to death. Hiro had done what he could to help, but it still had been hard.

At least now Rei knew that even if convenience store food was what he ended up eating, he had enough money that he wouldn't be limited to getting items that had been reduced in price because it was the end of the day. As tiring as it might be to work three jobs sometimes, it did at least mean he got three paychecks, and the Black Organization especially paid quite well.

Still premade food would be his last resort, Rei promised himself as he pulled the chicken out of the fridge and began looking for where he’d left the cutting board. At his feet Haro let out a hungry whine and stood on his hind legs, clearly indicating his desire for Rei to give him some.

“I’ll set some aside for you,” Rei assured him, letting out a small laugh as he began to chop up the chicken into small pieces. “It needs to be cooked first though, we don’t want you to get sick.”
He really should have fed Haro first thing when he’d gotten home, but he’d gotten distracted by his own problems. As soon as he was done preparing the chicken, he’d get Haro’s dinner ready, and he’d give him an extra large helping of chicken later as an apology for it being late.

He’d made Yakisoba many times before and so it only took a matter of minutes for him to have all the chicken chopped and the portion for his meal marinating in the fridge. After quickly washing his hands, Rei opened one off the upper cabinets and pulled out the tub of dog food he kept there. It was a bit of a pain to get it down from so high, especially right now, but after the incident with Haro getting into the freezer he didn’t dare leave it where it could be easily accessed.

As he picked up Haro’s bowl and scooped food into it, the dog danced around his feet impatiently, though he was well behaved enough to not try and jump up and get the food. Or at least not while Rei was watching. Setting the bowl down on the floor, Rei quickly stepped out of the way so he didn’t get knocked over as the dog rushed for his food.

“You must have been really hungry,” He told Haro, kneeling down so he could run a hand along his back. “Sorry for making you wait.”

Haro looked up from his food for a moment and let out a soft yip, as if to tell Rei it was okay. Before Haro could return to eating though, his ears pricked up at something and he turned his gaze towards the front door. Seconds later, there was a knock on it.

Quickly straightening up, Rei opened one of the drawers in the kitchen and reached all the way to the back, grabbing the handgun he had taped to the underside of the cabinet. He wasn’t expecting anyone to come by, and while it could simply be one of his neighbors, it was rather late at night for that. While he couldn’t say for sure that there would be anyone dangerous out there, he didn’t want to take any chances.

Tucking the handgun into the back of his waistband, he slowly approached his front door and pulled it open. Upon seeing the person who was standing behind it, Rei let out an annoyed growl.

“Just what do you think you’re doing here?” He greeted Akai Shuichi.

Chapter Text

“Can we talk?” The expression on Akai’s face was infuriatingly calm as he stood on Rei’s doorstep, as if he didn’t know just how much Rei hated his presence.

“I’ll pass,” Rei told him, his lip curling up into a sneer. If any of his neighbors were to walk by at that moment they would no doubt be shocked to see such an expression on his face, but Rei saw no reason to hide his feelings when it was just the two of them. When in public, Rei could play nice and pretend there was no dark history between him and Akai. If the two of them absolutely had to work together, then Rei could force himself to focus on the task at hand, rather than the anger bubbling under his skin. But if Akai was going to have to have the nerve to show up at his apartment, then he wouldn’t be polite.

“We never finished our conversation earlier,” Akai informed him, as if Rei hadn’t said anything at all. Because why should Akai ever give any heed to what Rei wanted. “May I come in?”

Akai had already invaded the cafe and now had shown himself to be aware of just where Rei lived, the last thing he needed was the FBI agent invading his actual apartment. As an undercover agent, there weren’t really many places where he could let his guard down even slightly, and his apartment was one of the few that existed. He still had to be careful and regularly sweep it for bugs, but that didn’t change the fact that it was a safe haven for him.

He didn’t like the idea of Akai tainting it with his presence.

Rei was getting ready to just slam the door in Akai’s face when a concerning thought occurred to him. Akai was incredibly stubborn, if Rei refused to let him in after he’d come all this way, then there was a chance that he might make a nuisance of himself until Rei changed his mind.

“If I say no, are you just going to keep standing here until my neighbors wonder what’s going on?” He questioned Akai, feeling incredibly tired. He really didn’t want to have to deal with this today, it really felt like some higher being out there had to hate him or something for Akai to have shown up in front of him twice in one day.

The man in question just smiled however, either unaware of the headache he was giving Rei, or just not caring. “I might,” He said, shrugging his shoulders slightly. “Do you really want to find out?”

No, Rei didn’t want to find out. He’d cultivated a good reputation with his neighbors and having a strange man standing outside of his door all night would not help it. Letting out an annoyed growl, he beckoned Akai to come inside, he might as well get this over with. As he slammed the door behind Akai, Rei shot a longing glance towards the fridge, it seemed like he wouldn’t be eating for a while still.

The first thing Akai did upon entering Rei’s apartment was look around, as if the contents of it would somehow reveal all of Rei’s secrets to him. If that was his line of thought though, then he wouldn’t have any luck. Aside from the fact that it made things easier if he suddenly had to switch locations, Rei kept his apartment pretty bare so that no one could figure out any secrets from it. Unless Akai decided to knock him out and break into his computer, he wasn’t going to learn anything.

The presence of someone new in the house brought Haro running, his tail wagging furiously as he sniffed around Akai’s legs. A rare expression of surprise crossed Akai’s face at the sight of the puppy, but it soon melted into a smile as he crouched down to pet him.

“Why hello there,” He greeted, managing to find the sweet spot under Haro’s chin where he liked to be scratched with remarkable speed. “You must be Furuya-kun’s pet.”

Rei couldn’t help but feel a sense of betrayal at the sight of Haro being petted by Akai. He’d been under the impression that his dog was smart, so how could he let someone like Akai get close to him? What was next, would they run across Gin on a walk and he’d stop to scratch Haro behind the ears?

He supposed it was rather unfair of him to compare Gin and Akai in any way. As much as he hated Akai, and even if he was suspicious about the role the man had played in Hiro’s death, he was far from the psychopath that Gin was. Rei still didn’t like him petting his dog though.

“How did you even find where I live?” Rei questioned, it was something that was really bothering him. He knew it wasn’t a complete secret where he lived, he had neighbors who knew his name and where he worked after all, and he was pretty sure the Black Organization kept tabs on where its more important members resided. Still it wasn’t supposed to be information just easily find out, and he wanted to make sure that hadn’t changed. If it had then he might need to move.

Akai stared at him in response, his expression seeming to say, ‘I’m FBI, what a silly question.’ It was hardly the answer that Rei had been looking for.

“Ugh, can’t you FBI dogs stick to being nosy in your own country?” Rei complained, lacking any better response to the situation. When in doubt, complaining about the FBI was always the best choice anyway. “So…what exactly is it that you so desperately felt we needed to talk about, that you had to show up here?”

As much as he didn’t want to have any sort of conversation with Akai, it was going to happen regardless, so it was in his best interest to just get it over with. The soft expression that had grown on Akai’s face as he petted Haro disappeared at Rei’s question, turning serious instead as he stood back up.

“Are you okay?”

There had been a couple possibilities running through Rei’s head as to just what Akai would say, but that had definitely not been one of them. For a moment he just stared blankly at Akai, unsure if he’d even heard him right.

“What?”

“You were obviously favoring your ribs earlier at the cafe and you’re still doing it now,” Akai began, not even trying to hide the way his eyes examined Rei. “You seem to be having some issues with your right arm as well, and while it’s not super obvious, I can tell you’re using makeup to hide something. I’m guessing bruises. Overall, while you did a good job of hiding it earlier, you’re obviously quite beat up.”

Detectives were really annoying, Rei decided, when you were the one whose secrets they were digging into. Although he’d known that there were certain people it would be impossible to totally hide his injuries from if he ran into them, it was still annoying to be so easily seen through. He supposed he should consider himself lucky that Conan hadn’t been in the cafe for long enough earlier to notice anything about him, it would be a nightmare to deal with both Akai and him at the same time.

Of course, Conan would probably figure out something was off eventually, he spent too much time in the cafe for Rei to avoid him. But that just meant that Rei needed to get Akai dealt with quickly, so he only had to deal with one of them at a time.

“Just what is your point?” Rei had considered trying to deny he was hurt, but it seemed pretty pointless to do so. There was no explanation he could give for the things Akai had noticed that would be believed. Besides, he could clearly remember a time back when they had still just been Rye and Bourbon, and he’d tried to lie about a bullet having grazed his arm. Akai had decided the best way to get him to fess up about it was to suddenly grab his arm and point out the way he’d winced; Rei really didn’t feel like having a repeat of that situation.

“Did something happen? You’re not the type to get so badly hurt in just a simple fight, so there must have been something else going on.”

So that was it, Rei was pretty sure he’d finally figured out why Akai was there. The man must have been concerned that there was something major going on in the Organization that the FBI didn’t know about yet, and was looking for information. Although there was a truce between him and Akai, which in some ways translated to a loose alliance between the FBi and the NPA, that didn’t mean they told each other everything. If a situation came about where they work together then they wouldn’t withhold relevant information, and they would warn each other if they learned of a threat to the other party, but that was about it.

“It’s not something that you need to be concerned about,” Rei informed Akai, not denying the fact that he hadn’t just been beaten up in a fight, but also not giving any clarification for what was going on. “It won’t affect you and the FBI.”

If Rei’s predictions of his own death came true, then maybe it would affect Akai and the FBI then, but until then they didn’t need to know anything of what was going on.

“That’s not what I meant,” There was a hint of exasperation in Akai’s voice. “We worked together several times while in the Organization, I know what you’re capable of. The only times you ever end up such a mess were when you were either in a situation that couldn’t be dealt with on your own, or that you weren’t allowed to deal with. If you need help…”

Rei couldn’t really sense anything in Akai’s tone that in any way implied he was suggesting Rei needed help because he was incompetent, but his words still rubbed Rei the wrong way. What on earth made Akai think that out of all people, Rei would ever go to him if he needed help? Rei would choose to ask Kogoro for help long before he’d go to the FBI agent; the detective might not be as competent as he thought he was, but he was a good man and unlike Akai, Rei had nothing against him.

Did Akai just think so highly of himself that he was under the impression he was the only one who could help if there was a problem? It was possible, but for all that Rei didn’t think highly of Akai, he’d never found him to be a particularly egotistical person. Akai was confident in his own skills and could be unbearably smug when he thought he was right, but he’d never acted like he was better than everyone else. Whatever the reason for Akai’s words though, it didn’t change Rei’s thoughts on the matter in the slightest.

“I shouldn’t need to remind you of this,” Rei began, his tone icy. “But the truce between us only means that I won’t kill you and that we may cooperate at times, it by no means makes us friends. I don’t need your help, nor do I want it.”

His words brought a frown to Akai’s face. It was the kind Rei hated most, one of the judgmental ones that seemed to say that he was being foolish and should just behave. He’d seen something like it plenty of times before during his childhood, normally whenever he tried to protest any kind of mistreatment. Logically he knew this was hardly the same situation as back then, but it didn’t make it any less frustrating.

“Furuya-kun, you don’t have to do everything on your own.”

If Rei’s countenance had been icy before, it was now frigid. He didn’t have to do everything on his own? What a bold comment for Akai to make. Rei had never set out to try and do everything by himself, that would be a foolish way to try and live, but that didn’t mean there weren’t times when asking for help wasn’t possible.

If there was an issue at the cafe he could freely ask Azusa for help. If there was an NPA investigation going on then he could get the aid of Kazami or even Conan. If there was a problem with a case he’d been hired to investigate, then there were plenty of people he could get to give him a hand. But when it came to issues within the Black Organization, the only person he could really rely on was himself.

Even though he was undercover at the behest of the NPA, they were limited in what they could do to help him. Things like providing him with supplies and looking more deeply into any information he gathered were easy enough, and there were some occasions when they could provide back up, but for the most part it wasn’t safe for them to get involved. All it would take was one wrong move on their part for Rei’s cover to to be destroyed.

In the beginning he’d at least had Hiro to watch his back. As part of their cover, the two of them had slightly staggered the dates they’d entered into the Organization and the backstories that had been created for them made it seem like they were complete strangers; that hadn’t stopped them from looking out for each other however. Anytime one of them got in trouble, the other could always be counted on to find a way to bail them out of it; at least until the day Rei had failed to do so.

If it hadn’t been for the man in front of him now, then that wouldn’t have happened. If Rei had been able to get to Hiro first…

“I don’t need to do everything by myself? If you really think that way maybe you should have stayed off that rooftop so I’d still have a partner!” For the second time that day, words that Rei hadn’t intended to say out loud managed to slip out. Logically he knew it was because he was stressed and tired, but it still bothered him; what kind of an undercover agent was he if the fact he wasn’t feeling good was enough to loosen his tongue? With the way things were going it was a wonder he hadn’t ended up spilling everything to Rum.

It wasn’t like he’d said anything to Akai that he shouldn’t have, his anger towards him because of Hiro’s death was hardly a secret, but the lack of self control still bothered him. Then again, while he’d gotten better at it with age, controlling himself when he was angry or hurt had never been one of his strongest suits. He wouldn’t have ended up in so many fights growing up otherwise.

“Furuya-kun…” Akai looked saddened by Rei’s words, as if he had anything to be sad about. It wasn’t his best friend and brother who was dead. “I really wish you still did have your partner, the fact that I couldn’t save Scotch is one of the biggest regrets of my life. I know I probably never knew the real him, but he was still someone I considered a friend.”

Rei let out a scoff, “You regret not saving him? Did you really even try?” He’d decided that since he’d already brought up the topic of Scotch, he might as well continue on with it. It was pretty rare for him and Akai to be alone together, and the topic of Scotch wasn’t something Rei wanted to bring up around other people; there were still issues he had with Hiro’s death that hadn’t been properly addressed though.

Akai froze.“What do you mean?” He asked, as if he couldn’t figure it out on his own if he just thought about it a bit. It was fine though, Rei could spell it out for him.

“According to you, after you ran into Scotch on the roof, he ended up stealing your gun. You said you told him you were an FBI agent, that the FBI would keep him safe, but he panicked and shot himself and afterwards you took the gun to help keep your cover. And I’ll admit that looking back on it, the scene matched your claim.” There had been blood on Hiro’s hand, blood that had no reason to be there if he had been shot by someone else. Rei had noticed it back when Hiro had first died, but at the time he’d been too consumed by grief to allow himself to really think about what it had meant.

Akai stood there in silence, just watching Rei and waiting for him to get to his point.

“Even if I want to deny the fact that Scotch killed himself, I can’t.” Rei continued, his glare sharpening “But did he really make that choice all on his own?”

Akai reeled back as if he had been slapped, his eyes opening wide as he stared at Rei in shock. It was clear he understood just what Rei was accusing him of.

“Furuya-kun,” Akai took a step forward, reaching out a hand as if he wanted to grab Rei’s shoulder, before thinking better of it and letting his hand down. Rei was grateful for that, he had a hard enough time with people touching him at the best of times, having spent too many years in a place where friendly touches weren’t a thing. He didn’t know how he’d react if someone were to touch him right now, when he’d just torn the scab off the never healing wound that was Hiro’s death. “I swear to you, I did not push Scotch to kill himself.”

“Then why? Why would he do it!” Rei raised his voice slightly, before remembering the existence of his neighbors and lowering it back down. The walls of his apartment weren’t so thick that they would block out the sound of his and Akai’s conversation if it turned into yelling. “Hir…Scotch could be impulsive at times, he didn’t always fully think things through when he was emotional, but he wouldn’t have killed himself if he’d thought he had a way out. Something had to have pushed him to it! What was it?”

Haro had wandered back over to finish eating his dinner once Akai had stopped petting him, but he looked up from his bowl at the sound of Rei’s pained voice, and let out a soft whine. It was obvious he was concerned about what was going on, and normally Rei would try to comfort the puppy, but his thoughts were too much of a mess to do so currently.

Rei knew he wasn’t wrong. With the offer of protective custody from the FBI in front of him, Hiro would have had no reason to end his own life, no reason to panic. Not unless there was some other factor involved that Akai had neglected to mention.

There was a sick suspicion deep in Rei’s heart, a possible answer to the question bothering him, and he wished it had never occurred to him. If he compared the timing of Hiro’s death with the timing of his own arrival on the roof, if he thought about what could have made his friend panic, then the answer he came up with was a terrible one. If it was his fault…

It was easier to blame Akai, safer too. If he could convince himself that it was all Akai’s fault, that his suspicions were wrong, then maybe the remaining pieces of his heart would stop feeling like they were about to shatter.

Akai was just standing there without saying anything though, his expression hesitant, as if he was struggling to figure out what to say. It did nothing to reassure Rei that his suspicions were wrong, and he was in the middle of trying to summon up his courage and directly ask Akai about them, when the man finally spoke.

“Scotch, he…” Akai seemed to be struggling to find his words, seeming so different from his usually calm collected self. “He wasn’t convinced that we could really get him out safely, he was worried that trying to do so would end up blowing my cover. I told him I was willing to take that risk, but that just made him…”

Akai trailed off, but he’d said enough for Rei to understand what he was saying. Strictly speaking there wasn’t really anything wrong with the explanation, while it wasn’t exactly the same thing Akai had said back at the Kudo’s home, it didn’t contradict it either. It provided an explanation as to why Hiro had panicked, he’d been afraid that he’d drag Akai down with him, but it just didn’t sit right with Rei.

It just didn’t sound like Hiro to Rei. While Hiro was a kind person and definitely would be concerned that helping him would put Akai at risk, he wouldn’t have panicked over the mere possibility of it. It felt more like Akai was trying to come up with an excuse to take all the blame on himself. Why would he do such a thing though? There was no benefit to hiding the truth from Rei, especially not if the truth was what he suspected.

Rei didn’t like it, it felt like a guillotine hanging over his head, waiting to crash down on him at a moment’s notice. He’d thought he had Akai figured out, had thought he’d known what to expect from the man, but now he wasn’t so sure. Rei wished he could just go back to the time he thought Akai had been a murderer, that he could just go back to blaming it all on him.

“You and Scotch,” Akai spoke again, his tone probing.“You were more than mere partners, weren’t you? I'm guessing you’d known him for a long time.”

His question caught Rei off guard, leaving him unsure how to respond. Had he and Hiro been more than mere partners? Of course they had. Hiro was the most important person in his life, his brother in all but blood. The two of them had been by each other’s side since they were eleven, and he’d thought that no matter where life took them, they always would be.

Life had made a joke of those expectations.

Rei wasn’t about to tell Akai that though; while there was a deep longing within him to speak to someone about his grief, Akai certainly wasn’t that person. Of course, that didn’t mean Rei had any idea who he could talk to instead. Even if he’d had options to choose from, he’d never found it easy to open up to people in the first place; even with Hiro, who he’d clicked with almost instantly, it had taken him a while before he was willing to share things with him.

“If Scotch was so important to you, then I’m sure you must have been important to him too,” Akai began, seeming to have taken Rei’s silence as confirmation that he was right. “He wouldn’t want you to spend your life obsessing over his death.”

It was the wrong thing to say, which Akai seemed to realize as soon as the words left his mouth and Rei turned a furious glare on him.

Scotch wouldn’t want Rei to obsess over his death? Who was Akai to tell Rei what Hiro would want? He hadn’t grown up with Hiro, hadn’t entered the police force with him, hadn’t watched him overcome the trauma of his childhood, hadn’t been his brother. He’d never even known Hiro, just the persona of Scotch that had been created for the purpose of going undercover.

The worst part of it though, was that Rei knew that Akai was right. He didn’t know if Hiro was watching from the other side, Rei was sure the way he was living must be making his friend incredibly sad. Hiro was the type of person who had even saved the life of his parent’s murderer, he would probably tell Rei to forgive Akai; he probably would have told him to forgive himself too. Rei couldn’t do that though, his anger was all he had left, if he let go of it there wouldn’t be anything there to fill all the holes in him. He’d fall apart.

Akai was looking at him like he was a puzzle, one that he’d thought he’d completed, only to realize that there were actually pieces missing. Rei didn’t like it, he wasn’t sure what exactly he’d done to make Akai look like that, but he just knew it was going to end up causing him trouble in the future. It had been a mistake to let Akai in to talk, Rei should have just punched him in the face the moment he found him on his doorstep, and not worried what his neighbors would think.

“Furuya…”

“Just get out.” Rei interrupted Akai, feeling incredibly tired. He couldn’t even muster up the energy to be angry anymore, no matter how much he wanted to. Perhaps Akai realized that he’d pushed Rei a little too far, because while his expression clearly showed that there was still more he wanted to say, he simply nodded in acknowledgement of Rei’s request.

Opening the front door, Akai shot one last glance back at Rei. “I hope you feel better soon Furuya-kun,” He said, managing to make even well wishes sound cryptic and annoying. With that, he left, shutting the door to Rei’s apartment behind him.

As soon as Akai was gone, Rei sank to the floor and buried his head in his hands. Seeing him sitting there, Hiro ran over from the kitchen and did his best to climb onto Rei’s lap, licking at his cheek with a tongue that smelled strongly of dog food. Normally something like that would make Rei laugh and push him away, but this time he didn’t even react.

He felt lost. Like a jenga tower balancing precariously atop of a single block, everything seemed to be threatening to topple down. Rum’s unspoken deadline was ticking down, Akai was sniffing around like the dog he was, and Rei was face to face with the realization he might have gotten his best friend killed. If he was being honest, Rei thought that there had been a part of him that had suspected there was more to Hiro’s death then it seemed from the beginning, it had just been easier not to think about it.

Akai wasn’t free of blame, no matter what else might have happened on that rooftop, the fact remained that if he’d stayed off that roof Rei would have reached Hiro first; but he might not be the only one at fault. Finding out the truth wouldn’t be an easy task though, since Akai had been lying earlier, he obviously didn’t want Rei to know what had actually happened.

Maybe it was better that way, maybe Rei should just try and forget his suspicions and just let Akai shoulder the responsibility like he seemed to want to. Rei didn’t think he could do that though, he didn’t know how much he really wanted to know the truth, but he also knew he couldn’t just ignore it anymore. Whether Rei had been the one to make Hiro panic, or whether it had been something else entirely, he had to know. And it wasn’t Akai’s place to keep it from him.

Pushing himself up off the floor, Rei let out a bitter laugh as he headed towards the kitchen. He didn’t know how he’d get Akai to tell him the truth, but he supposed if he just waited, he could hear it from Hiro himself.